#like about 1500 years of this
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My dear @sobeautifullyobsessed , I can't help but re-reblog it with your tags, because your words are so true 🫂
#righteously angry#you would be too after 1) dying a thousand or so times to protect Earth from Dormammu#and 2) lived through 14 million plus timelines...suffering...dying...watching comrades suffer & die repeatedly...all with no break#like about 1500 years of this#only to be told by a selfish spoiled brat that he knows nothing of sacrifice#Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness#I dunno what bothers me more#that she actually said & believes that#or that non-stans probably didn’t get that Stephen lived out the exact opposite#and that every moment of his life his hands pain him because to cure that would keep him from serving humanity
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thinking abt merlin through the ages contending with the fact that arthur is still so present in the land. in mythology in legend in fairytales told to children in books and films and countless other forms of memory. throughout the world he is remembered still, and yes it isn't really him they're remembering, it's the legend of him, the myth, the heroic fool's gold shimmer of his legacy. but he's still here.
#bbc merlin#merthur#arthur pendragon#forever crazy abt these two. it's abt stories it's about narrative shapes it's abt the weight of legend! it's abt love reworking history!#it's abt the death of someone u loved being retold over and over and over down through centuries of time and never once losing its sting#it's abt fate! destiny! t h white's the once and future king being released in merlin's lifetime and disney making it into a film!#arthuriana AS A CONCEPT. merlin has to contend with arthur - his life his death his everything in between - being a whole area of study!#idk man i think we should have more conversations abt how insane merlin would be after 1500+ years. give me unhinged and borderline derange#NOT TO MENTION the morgana of it all!!! morgan le fay who in common legend SLEPT WITH ARTHUR and conceived mordred by him#who started that legend????????????? more importantly was merlin LIVING IN A CAVE when it began like ur telling me he didn't kill the guy?
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marius does seem to have a lot of complicated feelings about what he did to armand and I really hope one of them is guilt for his thinking in buying armand originally. he talks in blood and gold about how when he heard armand's mind, the entire reason he wanted him was because he thought, here is a child who has been so hurt that it will be no loss to the world if I make him a vampire. and he wavers on this later and I hope it's because he saw this child make friends and learn things and love rings and watches and swordfighting and realize that actually there is never a child so damaged that taking them from humanity is no loss. I wonder if part of the reason he never tried to talk to armand after seeing him with the children of darkness is that he saw that boy changed into a lonely stoic cult leader with no more will or verve and was too consumed with guilt to even try. I hope that guilt started when he took armand to kiev rus and saw how much armand still loved the family he hadn't seen in years and for a while barely remembered from trauma. also I hope marius explodes into one thousand pieces but that's mostly irrelevant
#I hate marius for the abuse and the grooming but even more I hate him because of this#like I cannot imagine being such a selfish asshole that you at 1500 whole years old hear a child suffering and you're like#oh fuckkn sweet dude no one will give a shit if I make this kid into the perfect vampire including the kid himself#like ten thousand years dungeon to you just for that dude.#I wish I never fuckin read blood and gold the way he talks about armand is SO harrowing#and he's not stupid unfortunately I thibk marius does know this#on some level anyway#but armand refuses to die and as long as that's true I don't think marius can fully face what he did there#except to say it was a mistake to make one so young#no dude tje mistakes started long before that.
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I know a thing that’s kind of been up for interpretation in fandom is whether the female form is that of the young girl in the spring, or if it’s of them if they were born female.
In the new anime, I think they lean towards it being the form of the girl that drowned (why she has pink hair and pink eyes instead of Ranma’s usual blue eyes). While this is fine and to each their own, I personally prefer to think of it as Ranma if they were AFAB. To me, it feels more aligned with the idea that Ranma is Ranma no matter which form they’re in and their experiences belonging to Ranma entirely no matter their gender at the time.
#I also like to think that when Akane is thinking about the beauty of Ranma’s girl form she’s thinking that about Ranma#not some teen girl who tragically died 1500 years ago#or when she kisses female Ranma those are their lips not someone else’s dead or alive#ranma 1/2
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anybody remember the stephanie brown essay I was working on under a research grant fully last summer? yeah it’s not done yet it super needs to be done and I’ve been avoiding working on it for weeks. someone tell me to just do it already
#the problem is. actually there are several problems#1) I’ve been out of the Batman/dc comics phase for almost a year so I don’t care that much about the topic#2) I am fifteen pages in and have not touched it in months so I’ve completely lost my train of thought#3) I can’t just reread it because I hate first five pages or so and I know I need to change it but I was trying to finish before editing#so now my only solution is I need to open up a new doc and completely restructure the whole thing by splicing together the existing writing#so that I can figure out where the hell im going with this and make sure things fit together better#unfortunately that sounds fucking exhausting#but I told my mentor I would have an update for him by the end of the week and. well. it’s the end of the week#I have to present it in April. I have to write and submit an abstract in March#the school gave me $1500 for this stupid essay and if I don’t have anything to show for myself.#well. I don’t know they can’t take the money BACK but it’s not a good look#and also I would feel bad#I did the research!!! i interviewed comic writers even!!! I just haven’t finished WRITING IT DOWN#and I KNOOOOWW once I get started it’ll be fine once I’m going I’m going#but STARTING is hard because I feel like I have to finish it in one go which makes it so huge and daunting#I’m like. slamming my head into a wall. just write a couple sentences Jess something is better than nothing#just start it you don’t have to finish just START just MAKE the new DOC#I know!!!!! that is what my therapist would say!!!! Jess you’re trying to oneshot it bc of your dumb adhd brain!!!!#stop looking at it like that and making it scarier!!!#but even tho I know that logically I’m still like oh I should put away the dishes o should make bread#I should work on my six different art pieces I should do laundry i should play with the puppy I should go for a walk I sh
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Has time always moved this fast? I'm genuinely asking. In 200 years we went from Bridgerton to AI. The everyday lives of people in each of these eras feel like universes apart. I'm no historian, but it seems like the everyday lives of people between 1500 and 1700 weren't that different.
Have humans throughout time immemorial reflected on life 30 years ago, 100 years ago and commented on how vastly different it was? It feels like we're running at a breakneck pace in the modern era. The It Gets Better project was founded in 2010 because gay people were so universally ostracized that lgbt teen suicide rates were off the charts. And while we're still pretty far from full LGBT equality, openly having a problem with gay people existing is a pretty fringe opinion now that's fairly universally frowned upon, even in the southern US.
I'm pretty sure the first time a woman wore pants in congress was in the 90s.
Culturally, technologically, resource-wise, it feels like every 5 years we leap 5 decades forward. Is it just our own preoccupation with the era we live in that makes this moment feel so significant? Or are we actually moving as quickly as it feels?
I know people have always laughed at the grandpa's who complain "when I was your age...", but has the gap ever been this wide? Or is there truly something special about now.
#before someone @s me about *but some people still disapprove of gay people existing!!!*#i know. I'm from the south.#but even southerners know it's no longer something they're allowed to talk openly abt because doing so will make people think they're crazy#they may privately have a problem with gay ppl existing and say so amongst friends family and church#but nowadays it's the kid who's weirdly hung up on jimmy having a boyfriend who's uncool and strange. no one else has a problem with jimmy#even the radical conservatives are aware they ostracise themselves by throwing a fit abt gay people existing#that's why they're so fucking mad. that's why they're fighting so fucking hard. their opinions haven't changed#and 15 years ago they were on the side of the majority and now their opinions make them weirdos#they're evil but i kinda get why they feel like it's everyone else going crazy around them and not their own opinions that are the problem#again. there may yet be some spaces and schools in the US where it's still weird to be gay. but i would say that is the outlier#anyway that's not really my point i just know this site doesn't have reading comprehension#I'm genuinely curious as to whether time always feels like this or if it's us#yes every century has wars and pandemics and dynasty changes that impact history#but it kinda feels like the experience of a pandemic in 2020 with a smartphone and doordash is pretty significantly different than#the experience of a pandemic in 1500. 1300. etc. which maybe felt a lot more similar to each other.#and not to even mention the rapid changes in fashion!!!
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youtube
So as while you all know, I've been super excited that Ashley is coming to the switch, but something about it that I've kind of kept to myself because I wasn't able to describe it was also this feeling that something was off. It was just... not right. I thought maybe it was a kind of selfish apprehension, like perhaps I just was so used to this game being something it felt like only I knew about, and then it was announced in a direct with over a million people watching and it felt like my secret treasure wasn't a secret anymore, and while I am selfish and childish, I don't think it's that.
After watching this video, it seems more clear to me. This is not just remastering the game for the Switch, like the Ace Attorney games. This is a remake. This is an adaption. I understood that some changes would have to be made to change from a two screen, one of which is touch device to a single screen that technically has a touch screen but also needs to be able to be played with a controller, changes would have to be made, but not to this degree. This feels like a different game. Especially the graphics. They may be much more smooth and technically higher quality now, but the original also had a certain charm that I'll miss.
And taking into account all of this, I have a message just for Nintendo, so if you don't work at Nintendo, feel free to stop reading.
Look at me and listen closely. Do not even fucking LOOK at Kyle Hyde or anyone else at the Hotel Dusk or even the building itself unless you're going to respect it's incredible unique design and honor it for what it was. Out of the quadrinity of puzzle games I loved as a child, even now, Hotel Dusk reigns supreme in my heart. I know it's only a matter of time before you port him over but you better ONLY remaster him, not remake him like you did to Ashley. You show him and every single guest and employee at that hotel some respect or I'll show you my crossbow, got it?
#another code#another code recollection#trace memory (always forever in my heart that's the title)#ashley mizuki robbins#hotel dusk: room 215#kyle hyde#despite my medical condition that causes really bad memory problems#like i have almost no memories that are over 15 years old#and even since then it's incredibly spotty#i remember hotel dusk incredibly vividly#the song timeless is actually about me and kyle hyde#i would know him anywhere in any lifetime#even in the 1500s i would know him#even on a crowded street in 1944#that game is a huge part of who i am today#and if they fuck him up then it will fuck up part of who i am#queue takumi defense squad#Youtube
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hi everyone, this is my monthly check-in <3
#not feeling so great lately...there's a lesion on my other knee now#and it most likely is cancer.#they want me to wait another 10 days for an mri???? like ur crazy#if u think i can wait that long.#sighhhhhhhhh.#anyway.#some cool things have happened#like spending all day in nyc with my partner on friday <3333#and um. i did wnt to vent about smth so uh.#ED tw#lately#my energy has been too low for me to wanna cook. which in turn made my stomach shrink a LOT#since i've been surviving by grazing on snacks.#and i didnt even realize i lost weight until i went to the doctor.#i didnt realize though that it would be even MORE lost when i weighed myself without my winter clothes#and uhhhh. i currently weigh what i weighed in my senior year of high school#which is the FIRST time i've been under a certain number in over SIX YEARS.#and i havent struggled at all w body negativity or ED thoughts in over a couple years. but.#now that my ideal gender expression has shifted more to the feminine side. and now that ive lost weight.#my brain INSTANTLY latched onto that#and was like omg YES do more of that#and it feels nice. this time im FINALLY not struggling to suppress my appetite!!! my body is doing that for me!#and obviously im still eating enough to live on#but still a huge caloric deficit. and rn my wheelchair shit keeps breaking on me. my mobility company is INCOMPETENT.#and my insurance might tell me i have to wait FIVE MORE YEARS for another type of chair......I WILL DIE BY THEN.#ugh everything is so complicated now. and im ALWAYS exhausted bc the sun sets at 4:30. i've just stopped binging and i replaced it with+#a LOT. of retail therapy. i've easily spent probably 1500 of my credit limit in the last 2 months. but you know.#that and not eating are 2 of the ONLY things i can control rn. out of all the fucking bullshit these useless people and my body put me thru#anyway. i'm sure you can tell how i feel rn. i'm just going to try doing anything else today.#vent
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recent things
#With the heatwave combined with being ill for like an entire week it seems I've lost like 16 days this month#where I basically did barely anything... grrr.... The passage of time... My Enemy...#Now that I can finally hold down food and stuff I'm feeling a little better mostly and my sickness has probably passed. But I still#feel weird a little bit like.. some lingering weakness or something. I think I'm just already having so many Problems at all times even in#my 'Normal' state that whenever I get sick or something my whole system is thrown off for a while lol#I'm supposed to be writing like 2000 words a day still ghbjhb... I've had multiple days of maybe 1000 - 1500. And a lot of days#where I write maybe 20 - 300. I've still been chipping away at the same single quest dialogue for all 20 something#days this month so.. AUGH.. Though that also counts the 16 days I did nearly nothing but be sick and overheated#I finally edited that whole big sims video I wanted to post!!! but now there's an issue with it ... T o T#My fault for still almost exclusively using windows movie maker in 2024 lol.. but HHHHhh.. It's like every once in a while randomly#a fully edited video will not be able to be exported. so evil for this to happen to my first sims build tour in a while. but alas..#ANYWAY... I have been slowly working on little things here and there.. in my little scraps of time.. Wishing to be fully productive at#some point. Maybe I can finally finish and post some things soon. like costume photos or sims videos and etc.#BUT HEY.. that solitaire thing is crazy to me.. I don't think I've ever finished a challenge in under 20 seconds#before. huzzah.. tripeaks squad.. OH.. and an image of#curly tail boye.............. he..... I took him to the vet for a check up and he seems surprisingly okay for a 16 year old. except he has#a mild thyroid issue or something so I'll have to give him medicine. But every time he goes in I'm always expecting them to be like#Sorry. Your Son Is Truly Doomed. or etc. so I'm always shocked when he's fine... a strange boy with many strange behaviors#so I can never tell if he's just Being Weird or if he's sick or soemthing ghjbjh#Also the bad thing about never ending summer heat is that when it IS finally cool for a few days. I don't want to do ANYTHING. It's like wh#n it's hot I feel too sick to do anything. And then when it's cooler I'm like 'OUU the first cool day in WEEKS.. i want to just relax and#fully ENJOY the coolness..'' So it's always constant warfare with my body like.. NO ..we cannot SLEEP. We must utilize this small patch#of Non Heatwave to finally be productive and finish things while we don't feel sick. But then it's like ''ohoho...to lay in the cold air of#the morning restfully.. i shall have a little nap with a blanket on for once.. perhaps.. tee hee'' Always at war with the Tired Sleepy#it seems. AAAANyway...... grr............ slowly finishing things. still usually missing my target writing goals..#Hopefully will have some actual art or costumes or something to post soon. Fumbling through the summer weather as usual lol
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dear diary
I am afraid
#have doctor's appointment today and I'm.#we have such a phobia of going to the doctor#from the years of having the weirdest fucking symptoms#that nobody could explain#we were in and out of urgent care like. all of the fucking time#and eventually just came to the conclusion that doctors can't help#medicine can't help#we're going to keep getting more and more symptoms with no solutions#until we just die#and then the health care scarcity where we keep being told not to come in#unless we have something acute in which case go to urgent care#has bred the kind of an idea in us that doctors are for people who are dying#you only go in if you have something that is going to kill you#and needs to be immediately diagnosed for end of life care#like I wish I was fucking kidding but this is what we whole-heartedly have learned to believe about medical care#literally living in the 1500s or whatever#there's no proof for us that medicine can do ANYTHING to help us#and the only thing we can look forwards to is that when we get sick enough#and are finally admitted to see a doctor for it#the only thing remaining is a terminal diagnosis.#So going in for a lot of chronic pain is like :)#here we go they're going to find the cancer now#2 weeks to 2 months to live#MIND YOU. I AM TALKING ABOUT GOING TO THE FUCKING GP#THIS IS HOW WE FEEL ABOUT GOING TO THE FUCKING GENERAL PRACTICE
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i really love pentiment so far because while i liked disco elysium, it is not something i would be able to enjoy anymore (too bitter to care about The Human Experience, too stupid for a lot of the things in the game) BUT i kind of do care if it is before to during the 16th century.
#500s-mid 1500s my beloved span of history <3#i really would have gone to school for history to focus on medieval and possibly renaissance eras if i could have#either that or something to do with the environment but everyone does that and i can really be an ass aroubd other people who enjoy nature#‘’oh you like the woods??? well i dislike humans AND i like the woods. so i like it more.’’#one of the most validating things ever was when i was at a medieval history thing#and this person who has been going for 30+ years was going to teach me how to sew#and someone else came by and said something about like. game of thrones or something and she said ‘’i think this one knows and cares more#about the history than tv shows’’ while gesturing to me#i felt very validated by that but i have not really gone back in a long time because i have been unwell
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the haladyans probably wore some sort of armour, right? & knowing shit about them is like, an 'intellectual' thing. & we see modern perceptions of them ('men in skirts'). do u think the reason no one wears armour in skuldenore is because protecting yourself is seen as effeminate & therefore undesirable. no froi you can't wear chainmail if u want to be accepted by your peers. real men either dodge or let their opponent's blade tear through them like a hot knife through butter
#when finnikin was 14 training with the osterian guard he showed up one day with plans for a helmet & they all called him slurs so he#overcorrected HARD#id say something stupid about isaboe and lumatere and homophobia here but the goodreads reviewers would get me so you'll#have to imagine it yourself. make it really insightful#like. a lot of the standards of masculinity upheld in skuldenore seem almost entirely derived from our current sitch. the impact of just#skipping the entirety of like‚ 500-1500 years (my history is not good) of fashion to go straight to pseudo-medieval fashion as seen in#popular culture today was uh. bad for them armour-wise i think#i don't know. i've been thinking about this for a while but i don't think i got out everything i wanted here. oh well!
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I think Matthew has some gender/sexuality stuff going on that he is deliberately not thinking about.
#like in general he is so cishet it's almost ridiculous but i also think there could be some stuff going on under the surface he's ignoring#because of the Catholicism.#and also the hella heavy patriarchy of the vampire world and the world in general.#he's 1500 years old there's no way he hasn't thought about it#matthew clairmont#a discovery of witches#all souls trilogy#discovery of witches#i'm saying stuff
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Ah yes, Magnificent Century, or as I like to call it – “Why the fuck are the most likely Ukrainian girl and the Crimean Tatar woman speaking Russian to each other, what were the writers smoking???”
#BEFORE ANYBODY COMES AT ME#DO NOT use this post to debate hürrem’s nationality. please#most people agree she was from an area which is modern day ukraine. can we please leave it at that#also yes they were speaking Russian in that scene. not Ukrainian like I’ve seen some people say#trust me I know and can tell the difference between the two. it’s Russian#okay? okay#now that that’s out of the way#what is this. the 1500s or the Soviet Union??#for the record at this point in the show timeline there’s still another 32 years until Ivan the terrible conquers Kazan#a.k.a the Tatar capital#and ukraine was not a part of Russia at that point either#though I cannot tell you exactly who it belonged to bc I erased most of what I learned in history after my exam#but the point is#there is a very. very small chance that both of the would have known Russian#especially fluently#I feel like I’m swinging at a wasp’s nest by making this post so again#please don’t start any discourse#I am just trying to make a joke about the Taylan brothers failing both history and geography#alright?#okay good#Nia rewatches MC#magnificent century#muhteşem yüzyıl#hürrem sultan#valide sultan
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you guys know that tiktok audio about homosexual audacity and thinking you can do anything with no prior experience? "no i've never done that but i'm gay so how hard could it be?" that's me right now having almost no knowledge of computers but wanting to build by own pc
#like i know enough to know what i want. but what makes a computer actually run??? no fucking clue#BUT. i bought a gaming laptop like two years ago and it's already crapped out on me. and it's at a repair shop right now but because#it doesn't have standard parts (it's an acer nitro 5 17-inch) it's gonna cost like $750 to replace the motherboard and get it working again#and i bought the thing for $1500. so what the fuck#plus i've been thinking lately that i want to upgrade to an actual pc because i'm not in school anymore and don't currently need a laptop#and when i DID buy my laptop a couple years ago i didn't do enough research about what specs i wanted and i can't actually run#a lot of the games i want to play. so if i do decide to get it fixed i'd also want more storage and GPU. so it would be even more expensive#SO. i'm like. i can either pay like $1000 to fix my laptop which might crap out again in another year or two and need more uncommon parts#replaced. or i can buy a prebuilt pc which would be like $1800 if i'm getting everything i want.#OR i can build my own pc. and still get everything i want BUT in the process i will also learn how to build a computer (and thus how to#fix any problems that arise) and i can make sure to use common parts that can be replaced if they need to be. right?????#idk i kinda think it might be fun. and i've been wanting to learn the basics of computers for a long time because it seems like very useful#skills to have in life. and people say that this is a good way to learn and that it's not THAT hard to do because there's so many resources#and guides online to help you figure out how to do it.#like am i crazy for wanting to do this????#mine
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so where would anne, george and mary fall in the "five kids in five years" time line if he's the eldest?
hm, well, we don't know what years henry and thomas boleyn died, since the 'c.1520' seems like it was the date their brasses were made, not, obviously, the date of their deaths (both tiny tombs suggest cot deaths). "the exact date of elizabeth's marriage to thomas boleyn is unknown but her jointure was settled on her in 1501 suggesting a recent marriage some time after 1498 [...]"
so, i would think george was maybe born 1499, 1500, or 1501, mary born 1500, 1501, or 1502, and my personal theory is that anne was born either 1503 or 1504 (possibly 1505...)
*also going back to this quote ('general line rather than heirs male'), why would hunsdon have only said 'eldest daughter/sister', not 'eldest child'? the latter would arguably have given him a stronger claim, i'd assume because he knew the first was true but not the second:
"Lord Hunsdon's rather complicated account of the Boleyn titles shows that he had a good grasp of family history. Although his daughter, in her tomb memorial, stated that Mary Boleyn was the second daughter, it seems more likely that Lord Hunsdon was correct. Where the queen was his co-heir to the Boleyn title, he would have wanted to be very sure of his facts." Anne Boleyn: Henry VIII's Obsession, Elizabeth Norton
#anon#'as long as my father lived she brought me every year a child'#seems to suggest either a slight exaggeration or beyond those four there might have been some cot deaths we don't know about?#and/or he still considered any of his wife's stillbirths as 'children'#bcus taken literally and estimating the marriage at 1500 at the latest#would mean 1501 1502 1503 1504... + 1505#(william boleyn died in october 1505)#so you'd have to suppose they married actually 1501. to take that literally and believe there were four boleyns of this generation#or rather that elizabeth had four pregnancies#and no others.#(counting 1502 as like the 'first' year of their marriage if they say. married mid to late 1501)#(although i admit my little pop psychology theory could be easily torpedoed by the standards of the time#by default the male child basically was legally and socially considered 'the eldest'#inheritance wise and whatnot)
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