#like a nice tom arnold kinda look

[sainthelgas]

Ive seen a lotta people naming people who they hlame for the election. So I thought id toss my hat in the ring

I blame Joe biden for being too much of an egotistical shitbrain to know when it was time to stand down

I blame people who voted third party gor thinking their shitty little party could ever realistically win an election. Its a game of pretend we have to keep up for their sake but lets all be honest. Jill Stein was never gonna win. Theres a better chance of donald trumo and kamala hariss both dying in a firey explosion

I blame Richard Nixon. Obviously. Reagen only became president because of him so oh yeah

I blame Reagen. Donald Trump is riding on his dick so hard. He wishes he could skin the man and walk around in it.

I blame the shithole state of florida in entirety. When i become president in 2027 after donald trump gets run over after his voters realise he isn't in fact gonna make the economy better instantly by being president ill nuke that little dick off the united states. Itll be so much more aestheticslly pleasing...

I blame england for sending us over here in the first place. I hope if donald trump becomes president he deports me and my lot back to ireland.

I blame canada as well. Specifically prkme minister Justin Trudeau. He knows what he did. Back in the summer of 2007...

I blame video essay youtubers whos "video essays" are actually like half lets play and half additional dialogue. Video essay is a very vague term but id say for it to be an essay you would ahve to write a script first. Fucking Moron.

I blame youtubers in general actually. Anyone with over a hundred thousand subscribers. Every single youtuber says they goted kamala but actually voted trump because theyre billioanires and all they care about is that tax break. Yes event the one you're thinking of. Them too.

I blame the writers of hey arnold: the jungle movie for reviving arnolds stupid parents with bad designs. People loves it cause they really wanted it to exist after it originally vot cancelled. But like as a movie it kinda sucks. I hate what they do with helgas character

I hate that I named this blog after helga from hey arnold. Yeah my names not helga btw. I considered ysing my real name but I dont wanna. So i will conti us to refer to myself as helga for simplicites sake.

I hate that we dont know. If i wake up tomorrow and kamala won somehow ill delete this post and if you mention it I will DENY DENY DENY. Im mostly just accepting s trump victory so in the case of her still winning somehow ill have a bice surprise in the morning.

I blame Mike Pence. Ultimate conservative pundit/loser. He couldnt even go throigh with a full on conspiracy so he pussied out. He was tbere for the rull radicalization of the conervative party a d he tugges his collar and went "yikes! I dunno boyt this one you guys..."

I blame my conservative (ex)coworkers. Even the hot one with green hair who played blink 182 alingside tom macdonald over the speaker. I was nothing but nice to her despite her being anything but to me.

I blame the character designers for Dandadan for not letting the grandma look like a gilf. That was literally the main reason I stopped watching it.

I blame the people of florida itself. Not just the state the people specifically. Of course the first time I actually vote it doesnt mean shit. Of course florida wasnt gonna flip blue who was I kidding. Florida was supposed to be a swing state but then he literally moved here sk that kinda went bust. Is that all it takes? Him moving here and spending his stupid donation momey on our economy? Hes like the ultimate tourist hes from new york of all places but floridians are sucking on him like calfs sucking on a teet.

I blame mr beast for not turning north carolina blue. He basically owns that state (which is also a shithole) he couldve turned it blue but he didnt.

I blame the disgusting rotting people of the united states. We can take comfort in the knowledge that every agaony we suffer we inflict it four times upon someone somewhere in the middle east. So you can see that on twitter and think "at least im not that guy".

I blame arizona nevada and all the other shithole states who try to leach onto relevance by being a swing state. Why are they deciding the election and not ME?!

I blame Jude. Hes in alabama and its red so I can buy that. Its his fault. I checked his discord and hes playing fucking huitar hero. How could you possibly play guitar hero at a time like this?!

And lastly. Of course I blame Donald trump. Ill give him this, he was born to be president. Loud annoying and overly confident. Kinda like a Gjinka of the united states itself. People will treat him as an oddity president for one reason or another but honestly hes not that much worse then nixon. Have you heard the nixon tapes? Half that shit is worse then most of what donald trump tweets. He just had the sense to not let other people know how genuinely delauded he was. A slow de-evolution going from jfk to nixon to trump. As people became more and more aware of how corrupt the president could be. My point here isnt to be like "oh trump aint gonna be that bad" cause he will be. Both on a moral and like political level. I think a swing toward conservatism has been kinda happening since 2020, even with joe biden as president we lost roe v wade and kinda saw him sit around like a corpse for four years. Which he was great at fyi. Really the role he was born to play. You could even forget he was there. Sorry this is supposed to be donald trump hate but its just so played out. Whats left to say? Hes imcompetent. He literally ran on building a wall and left office with the wall unfinished. The single most consistant thing about all politicians, is their ability to fail to keep their promises. If he couldnt even build one stupid wall how is he gonna do half the shit they out in plan 2025? Get ready for four years of failed promises and conservatives slowly having to realise donald trump isnt gonna make the money problem any better.

[myassbrokethefall]

YOU GUYYYSSSS I HAVE THE PERFECT PLAN

Context: This is going viral:

YOU KNOW WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN RIGHT

THERE IS NO XF WRITERS’ ROOM, NONE OF THEM KNOW WHAT ANY OF THE OTHER ONES ARE WRITING

YOU SEE WHERE I’M GOING WITH THIS YES

Does anyone really know what those two writers’ assistants look like???

...

HERE’S HOW IT’S GOING DOWN

1. Agree on a fanfic. (This is going to be the hard part.)

2. Get the script to David and Gillian. You guys, they don’t know what’s going on half the time anyway. And they will be so happy to have dialogue that makes sense.

3. Find a trustworthy man to direct. @h0ldthiscat​ suggests Matthew Rhys in a mustache. (kcat: “He would be like 'I've totally directed for this show before!' And Gillian would be like 'oh yeah, I remember you!'” FOOLPROOF)

4. Distract Chris Carter during the week one of his episodes is supposed to shoot. I recommend luring him through the woods to a magical surfing beach a la Nimue in Camelot. Please do not drown him. We don’t do that. Show him a nice time.

5. Get to work with David, Gillian, the script, and “Todd Johnson” or whatever name we select. No one’s gonna remember.

6. Once it’s in the can, get it to Fox before anyone is the wiser. We can always shuffle all the episodes around to cover our tracks. It’s going to make about the same amount of sense regardless. 

7. It airs! Mulder and Scully make out a lot and have emotionally fulfilling interactions, domestic sweetness and affectionate familiarity, a plot that involves them as people and is therefore engaging to the audience, subtle but beautiful angst courtesy of Matthew “The Americans” Rhys aka Todd Johnson, and a satisfying ending. David and Gillian never know that anything went awry but they may have the vaguely pleasant sense that their characters got some emotional closure. Glen Morgan is a little suspicious. Chris Carter blithely takes credit for the episode which is obviously a huge hit. Anne Simon cheers him on. People like The X-Files again and Fox makes money. Todd Johnson has a flourishing second career directing television in a mustache. Everyone is happy. Myassbrokethefall is released from her two-plus decades of torment and becomes a goat farmer in the Faroe Islands. 

THE END

[chaoticunorigionalstranger]

BOM London (Matinee) 20.8.22

I may have audio. DM if interested

Ben Tyler was Price, David McMullan was McKinley (this is his last two scheduled shows before he leaves), Tom Xander was Cunningham, Leanne Robinson was Nabulungi, and Myles Hart was the Doctor.

I'm going to focus on Ben and David (cos they were who I was focused on today), with a mention of Myles.

Nice McPriceley-ness, not OTT but definitely there.

Also, David is much much shorter than Ben. Like really really short compared to him.

Ben Tyler as Price

This is the 2nd time I've seen Ben as Price, and I adored him today. He was really funny and made Kevin quite immature and petulant - which was really ammusing to see. He had Kevin stamp his feet whenever he didn't get what he wanted after going to Uganda and throw his hands up in exasperation at the same time. It was a mixture of Kevin being immature, spoilt, niave and generally frustrated that he didn't think he would do something incredible.

In Hasa Diga whe Mafala says "I will give you my aids", Ben grabbed his own backside protectively.

In TIO he stood at the front of the stage gesturing to his waistcoat when he caught McKinley's eye and McKinley just ignored him. Then when he sat down Arnold took it off for him and he looked irritated and kept mouthing "give it back", until he put out his hand and was tapping it until Arnold gave it to him (and then he just his it behind the cushion anyway!).

The almost kiss - he stood there for a moment after the almost kiss just kinda looking at McKinley, before going to leave.

The height difference between Ben and David made it quite awkward - David is MUCH shorter than Ben.

He pushed/three McKinley out of the way when he stormed out the mission hut. That got a laugh from the audience.

He practically skipped towards McKinley in SMHD - which was kinda sweet in a weird way. I also saw him drink from one of the coffee cups (I've not sat in auditorium where I could see that before, so I don't know if it's normal), but afterwards he went wide-eyed and staggered a bit like he had a caffeine high. Ive not seen Dom do that before and Ben didn't the last time I saw him in the role. He also tapped his heels together like Dorothy and mouthed 'theres no place like home' right at the start, which made people laugh

He acted really drunk at the Kafe - more drunk then I've ever seen Dom act. He also went "ow!" and struggled to sit down again at after he shouted at Cunningham, which had Arnold pause and pull a 'what's that about' face.

When he said "break the rules", he looked over at McKinley and smiled, and the woman next to me actually went "awwww".

His facial expressions were amazing and the audience loved him - he really played the role more comically (his expressions were extra extra) then the last time I saw him perform in the role.

David McMullan as McKinley

Camp. Much more camp than I've seen Stevie be. It was brilliant.

TIO -when he said "being gay is bad" he looked at Price, and "lying is worse" he looked at Cunningham. He also linked arms with Price and stroked his arm just before "keeping it down like a dimmer switch".

The almost kiss - when he turned away afterwards he actually mouthed to Poptarts 'its okay' and then waved his hands dismissively in the direction of him and another Elder before he went and practically threw himself Infront of the mission hut door. Price actually pushed/threw him out the way and he stumbled.

SMHD - he gyrated at Kevin waggled his tongue at him. He was so enthusiastic giving Hitler head that his sparkly top hat fell off.

After SMHD, he got really close when he asked "was I in it?" and when one of the elders turned to look (and the others looked away uncomfortably) he mouthed 'what?'.

I am Africa - he looked disgusted when "a tribal woman who doesn't wear a bra" was sang.

JSAM - he actually kept looking at Cunningham and shaking his head. And he rolled his eyes at him periodically giving him evils.

He was brilliant and tbh he stole the show. Most the audience were sitting at curtain call until he came on, and as soon as he did the auditorium erupted.

Myles Hart

Myles was funny. I don't have alot to say other than he was very funny.

He snogged Hitler in SMHD. I dunno why I thought that was great, but I did.

Overall

I'm really glad I got to see David as McKinley, he was really good.

Now I just need to see Rolley as McKinley and Philip as Cunningham.

[kmalexander]

The 2020 Cosmic Horror Holiday Gift Guide

The phrase “Black Friday” has a more menacing tone in 2020—especially here in the United States. Hopefully, you’re following the advice of the experts, staying home, laying low, wearing masks, and washing your hands. But a pandemic shouldn’t stop gift giving! So, once again, I took some time and assembled my List of Lists for 2020. In it, you’ll find a plethora of paraphernalia for the weird-fiction fanatic, cosmic-horror connoisseur, or mythos maniac in your life. As with previous years, I’ve worked to assemble a list of exceptional items for all ages and budgets.

There’s a few changes this year. First, I’m now linking to IndieBound for all books. Please do what you can to support your local bookshops and small businesses. Odds are they can get you anything Amazon can, and it’ll help out your community. Secondly, where possible, I’m also linking to the author’s personal webpages. Check them out. Follow them. It’s a nice way to stay current with what’s happening in the world of weird fiction. Please remember, while I’ve ordered these by price, the prices and availability are subject to change. I don’t have any control over that. Happy shopping!

 QUICK LINKS 

• Books • Music • Apparel • Games • • Housewares • Miskatonic •

Books

Mother Hydra’s Mythos Rhymes by Jarred W. Wallace $9.95 + Shipping (Paperback)

This mock children’s book features twenty-one sinister nursery rhymes twisted with a Cthulhu Mythos bent and illustrated by the incredible Heather Hudson. Also included is a complete Edward Gorey-style alphabet. Every budding cultist should learn their ABCs after all.

The Worm And His Kings by Hailey Piper $13.00 + Shipping (Paperback) $6.99 (eBook)

This arrived only a few weeks ago, and I can’t wait to dive in. Set in New York City in 1990, the story follows Monique as she hunts for her missing girlfriend. But the trail goes much deeper than she realizes, sending Monique into a subterranean world of enigmatic cultists and shadowy creatures.

The Stars Were Right by K. M. Alexander $14.00 + Shipping (Paperback) $2.99 (eBook)

I’m nearly finished with Book Four’s edits. So, if you haven’t, now is the perfect time to start reading my Bell Forging Cycle. Follow Waldo Bell as he is sent careening through the multi-level megalopolis of Lovat, fighting to clear his name as a bloodthirsty killer stalks him. It’s mystery and monsters, chases and cults, and an ancient evil in a world that is similar but not quite like our own.

RADIO by J. Rushing $15.99 + Shipping (Paperback) $3.99 (eBook)

A jazz-infused, opium-soaked, historical fantasy with a transgressive edge that explodes from the opening chapter and never relents until its final pages—a welcome addition to modern fantasy literature and weird enough that it earned a place on this list.

Murder Ballads And Other Horrific Tales by John Hornor Jacobs $16.95 + Shipping (Paperback) $7.95 (eBook)

Seems like it’s becoming a tradition to see a new book from John Hornor Jacobs on this list every year, and it’s no surprise. He’s arguably one of the best mythos writers working today. This collection of recent horror and crime short stories takes you through tales involving old gods to malevolent artificial intelligences, plus it includes the sequel to his 2011 novel, Southern Gods.

The Cipher by Kathe Koja $17.95 + Shipping (Paperback) $3.99 (eBook)

Part haunted house story, part body horror, part descent-into-madness tale all told in the style of Transgressive Literature. The Cipher is one of those stories I was shocked I hadn’t read until this year. Koja writes stunningly physical characters and knotted complex relationships that feel eerily familiar to anyone who’s spent time in artist circles. Enjoy the Fun Hole. (One of my 2020 Three Great Horror Reads for Halloween.)

The Only Good Indians by Stephen Graham Jones $26.99 + Shipping (Hardcover) $9.99 (eBook)

At its heart, this is a horror novel about growing up poor and native in western Montana. But The Only Good Indians also a novel about revenge, mistakes, and their extended consequences. I blew through it. I grew up not too far from where this novel is set, and I have yet to find a recent author that captures the behavior and actions of the people in that area quite as well as Jones. You’ll never look at elk the same way again. (One of my 2020 Three Great Horror Reads for Halloween.)

The City We Became by N. K. Jemisin $28.00 + Shipping (Hardcover) $14.99 (eBook)

The first of the Great Cities series focuses on a roiling, ancient evil that stirs beneath the streets of New York City and threatens to destroy the city. New York must go on, and it will take five protectors scattered across the boroughs coming together to stop it. An allegorical response to Lovecraft’s work and a love letter to the city.

The Dark Brotherhood and Other Pieces by H.P. Lovecraft $650.00 + Shipping (One Copy Available—Sold via AbeBooks)

This rare late-60s first edition copy from Arkham House is in fine condition with a fine dustwrapper. It also comes with an inscription by the publisher and editor of this work: “for Herb Arnold from the compiler – August Derleth.” An extremely unique find and a unique piece of weird fiction history.

No book catches your interest? Check out the books featured in one of the previous guides. • 2014 Books • 2015 Books • 2016 Books • 2017 Books • 2018 Books • 2019 Books •

Music & Audio

Tribute To H.P. Lovecraft by Epsilon Eridani Free (Digital Download)

This atmospheric and somber dark ambient album is the third project from Mexican electronic artist Juan Pablo Valle. Blending instrumental tracks, spoken words performances, and recitations of parts of Lovecraft’s stories, this tribute serves as an excellent horror soundtrack.

The Yellow Sign $6.99 (Digital Download)

While Lovecraftian music often skews towards dark ambient or metal performances, The Yellow Sign goes takes a more orchestral approach. Composer Graham Plowman has created a fantastic classical soundtrack putting this album on par with any feature film—brooding, menacing, and wonderfully enjoyable.

Beyond Madness by Aklo $9.00 (Digital Download)

Erich Zann would be jealous. Aklo, like its madness-inducing namesake, is hard to pin down. But this album captures “the beyond” in ways not often heard in modern music. Part noise, part experimental, Beyond Madness is an excellent addition to any Lovecraft fan’s collection.

Live from Stockholm by Ogham Waite $12.00 (Digital Download)

Ogham Waite, one of Innsmouth’s Deep One inhabitants, and the Amphibian Jazz Band are the mythos’ answer to the lounge stylings of early Tom Waits. Bluesy and moody, this seductively smokey album drips with saltwater. Waite’s performance and delivery are melodious as they are melodic, a great addition to mythos music.

Ambrose Bierce’s The Boarded Window $20.00 + Shipping (Vinyl)

This limited vinyl pressing of Bierce’s unsettling perspective-shifting tale is read by Anthony D. P. Mann and scored by Chris Bozzone. Cadabra Records always goes the extra mile with their products, and it’s clear from the hand-poured red and white splattered vinyl to the incredible art by Jeremy Hush.

Deities by Tortuga €22.50 ($26.68) + Shipping (Vinyl) €5.00 ($5.93) (Digital Download)

This one showed up randomly on a playlist, and I found myself intrigued. Once I listened to it, I became a fan. Tortuga is a Polish doom metal band whose work is loaded down with intricate and heavy driving riffs inspired by Lovecraft’s writings. It’s good stuff.

Not finding any music or audio that interests you? Check out one of the previous guides. • 2014 Music • 2015 Music • 2016 Music • 2017 Music • 2018 Music • 2019 Music •

Apparel

Tiki Cthulhu Embroidered Patch $9.00 + Shipping

I see many patches as I search for new cosmic horror gear throughout the year, and occasionally I find one that rises to the top. This sew-on tiki-styled Ctuhulu is 3″ x 2.5″ and was created for the 2018 H. P. Lovecraft Film Festival. If you want a mythos inspired adornment for your bag or jacket that’s a bit outside the norm, look no further.

Cthulhu Socks $18.00 + Shipping

It’s winter in the northern hemisphere, that means you need to keep your appendages warm. Also, socks-for-Christmas is a right of passage. Why not consider getting these Cthulhu Socks from PutYourSocksOn featuring tentacles up the side and an illustration of the dead and dreaming Cthulhu on the ankle.

Sourpuss Tropicthulhu Rosie Dress $29.00 + Shipping

When you are associated with the ocean, you generally get associated with the tropics regardless of where your sunken city dwells. This 40’s style Rosie Dress allows you to show your appreciation of R’lyeh’s favorite son in a subtle but delightful manner.

Amulet of Azathoth £23.95 ($34.42) + Shipping

It’s the grandpappy of the mythos deities in amulet form! Well, kinda. A representation of the nuclear chaos beyond angled space himself. This antique amulet is a little over an inch and a half long and is cold cast in a mixture of resin and brass—a stunning little pendant.

Mother & Father Statuary Set $85.00 + Free Shipping

These handmade and hand-painted resin figures of Dagon and Hydra would work perfectly as bookends or garden statues. Aged in a way to evoke feelings of lost treasure salvaged from the seafloor or perhaps a dank and forgotten chamber somewhere beneath Innsmouth. Kinda cute to boot.

Cara Mater Silvae Shub-Niggurath Woodcut Print $187.50 + Free Shipping (Limited Edition)

Liv Rainey-Smith’s fantastic woodcut work has long been a fixture in the weird lit community. This limited-edition print is done in the style of a sacred icon and features a great rendition of Shub-Niggurath, The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young, or as my readers will know her, “Cybill.”

Keeper of the Nightmare Mask $331.53 + Free Shipping (Made to Order)

Plague doctors always cut a fearsome figure in humanity’s historical memory, but what lies beneath that leather mask and shielded eyes? This custom made-to-order mask twists tentacles to form that familiar (and terrifying) plague-doctor shape adding an extra level of menace to an already menacing form.

Not finding apparel you like? Check out the apparel on one of the previous guides. • 2014 Apparel • 2015 Apparel • 2016 Apparel • 2017 Apparel • 2018 Apparel • 2019 Apparel •

Games

No Players Online Name Your Own Price (Windows/Linux)

What starts as a simple old demo of a capture-the-flag 3D shooter found on a discarded tape eventually twists and turns becoming something else entirely. I’m a sucker for the 80s glitch aesthetic, and it’s used here in masterfully unsettling ways—multiple endings, interesting game world, very much worth your time.

Kadath $5.99 (Digital Download, Early Access)

This first chapter of a first-person cosmic-horror adventure has you following the case of a World War II Nazi train that vanished only to reappear in a cave in the Himalayas 75 years later. Dripping with atmosphere and filled with brilliant puzzles, this first chapter left me excited for Kadath and wanting more.

Fate of Cthulhu $20.00 (Downloadable PDF) $35.00 + Shipping (Book + PDF)

In this tabletop roleplaying game from Fred Hicks and Evil Hat Productions, you and your friends will find yourself sent into the past on a mission to prevent the future. It’s a race against time as you try to stop the stars from being right and prevent Cthulhu’s foretold return, all before you and yours are transformed into something monstrous.

Elder Sign Dice – Blue Aether $24.99 + Shipping

Infinite Black has been making some wonderful cosmic-horror-themed gaming products for a few years. They’ve finally gotten easy enough to nab for holiday gifts. These Blue Aether Elder Sign Dice stood out to me, but they have a robust catalog making it easy to find the right gift for the dicing Lovecraft fan in your life. (Or yourself.)

Fate of the Elder Gods $63.99 + Shipping

Cults battle cults in this race to summon your ancient order’s elder god of choice! But it’s not just the other conniving worshippers and cult leaders you need to worry about, crafty investigators are on the prowl, and they’re working to subvert everyone’s goals as well. Hasten the earth’s doom in this competitive area-control game for two to four players.

Hastur $274.99 + Shipping (Two Shipments)

I’m a big fan of the Mysterious Package Company, the quality of their products always impresses. This latest journey into the realm of Hastur is no exception. Taking place over several mailings, Hastur invites the recipient into the world of the King in Yellow, the play with the same name, and the utter madness that dwells within those words.

Not finding a game you’d enjoy? Check out the games on one of the previous guides. • 2014 Games • 2015 Games • 2016 Games • 2017 Games • 2018 Games • 2019 Games •

Housewares & Collectables

Cedric’s Eatery 11oz. Mug $16.00 + Shipping

It’s cold out, and you need a new mug. Why not pick one up from Lovat’s own Cedric’s Eatery located in the entresol between Levels Three and Four. An in-between place for in-between folks. Waldo Bell’s latest hangout. Fill your mug with 11 oz. of bad coffee, your favorite tea, or something stronger. [From the pages of the Bell Forging Cycle.]

Cthulhu Clay Idol & Letter $29.80 + Free Shipping

Alternative takes on the Cthulhu idol are rare. More often than not, we see the same shape repeated over and over. Because of that, this rawer, more original piece stood out to me. It feels more realistic in many ways, reminding me of the sort of thing one would find on an archeological dig. Plus, with the attached letter, you get a little mini-experience here.

Sea Monster Shower Curtain $32.00 + Shipping

There be dragons. And there. And there. And… well, all over the place! If you love weird old sea monsters and old maps, then this curtain will be perfect for you. Decorate your shower with this fantastic curtain featuring beasts that look lifted from early Renaissance maps. 70″ x 72″. Liner recommended.

Cthulhu Lovecraft Blanket $59.99 + Shipping

As cooler air moves into the northern hemisphere, we can all celebrate the arrival of the cozy season. To stay warm, why not cuddle up beneath this cotton and acrylic Jacquard Knit blanket featuring the squatting visage of The Great Dreamer himself? He might be cold but you don’t have to be.

Anxious Blob Original Sculpture $325.00 + Shipping (Supplies are limited.)

This weird little one-off sculpture of a nervous little entity is made with polymer clay and hand-painted. The eye sits beneath a glass dome giving this piece a unique character. Who among us hasn’t wanted an anxious blob with hundreds of teeth and a single staring eye decorating our walls?

Not finding a houseware item you like? Check out the housewares from one of the previous guides. • 2016 Housewares • 2017 Housewares • 2018 Housewares • 2019 Housewares •

Miskatonic University

Miskatonic University Pennant $15.99 + Shipping

I love seeing all the different takes for Miskatonic University collegiate gear. Here you can show your support for “Ole Misk” with a felt pennant from H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society and cheer on the “mighty Miskatonic Myrmidons” to another victory. Wave that banner proudly!

Miskatonic University Real Leather Notebook $41.40 + Shipping

Journaler? Artist? Writer? Mathematician? Norwegian sea captain? Random idea generator? If you’re one of these, odds are you need a notebook. This 8″x6″ Miskatonic-themed journal features 100 sheets of thick handmade Khadda paper and is durable enough for the dig site while still being elegant enough for the classroom.

Miskatonic University Wax Seal $48.07 + Shipping

Secure your correspondence with old friends from bygones eras who seek answers using this classic and exquisite seal. It might not stop prying eyes, but at least your old colleagues will know if someone’s been tampering with their mail. (Wax sold separately.)

Miskatonic University Hockey Sweater $109.00 + Shipping (Supplies are limited.)

Every sports fan needs a jersey. Miskatonic students are no different. It’s why when I came across this Hockey Sweater from Geeky Jerseys I knew it’d be perfect for the cosmic horror student in your life. (While this one is great, I’m hoping the superior Miskatonic 2.0 sweater becomes available once again.)

Not finding any Miskatonic University gear you like? Check out the Miskatonic University items from one of the previous guides. • 2014 Miskatonic • 2015 Miskatonic • 2016 Miskatonic • 2017 Miskatonic • • 2018 Miskatonic • 2019 Miskatonic •

  Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays!

So that wraps up the seventh annual List of Lists. Let’s all keep wearing our masks, socially distancing, and washing our hands so we can all do this again next year. Big thank you to everyone who has suggested items in the past to help me pad out this list. Y’all rule. If I didn’t get to your submission, fret not. There are many more holidays ahead. I appreciate the help.

Do you have a book, game, album, or other weird fiction-related items I should feature in 2021’s Cosmic Horror Holiday Gift Guide? Leave a comment below with links to your favorite goodies for others to see, or send me an email as a potential submission for next year!

Want to stay in touch with me? Sign up for Dead Drop, my rare and elusive newsletter. Subscribers get news, previews, and notices on my books before anyone else delivered directly to their inbox. I work hard to make sure it’s not spammy and full of interesting and relevant information. Sign Up Today→

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[dwtspd]

Dancing With The Stars - Season 28 - Week 1

Hi guys. It’s been a long time. I’ve kinda missed this. I also haven’t. Ya know?

I’ve definitely missed Tom. His intro was great.

The new geometric mirrorball-esque graphic is also pretty snazzy. New judge table looks pretty sleek too. The new paddles are kinda weird though, looks like the judges are playing cards.

I was expecting more of an opening number.

Cast update: Sailor Brinkley-Cook steps in to replace her mother, Christie Brinkley, after the older woman suffered an injury.

Hannah Brown and Alan Bersten: cha cha cha special appearance from Chris the Bachelor host (I forgot his last name). Classic cha cha song. She’s a bit harsh with her movements. Kinda jerky but she has potential to be more polished with time. Choreo was a lot, it kept going and going. Think Alan could have thrown in some slower bits, but Hannah handled it well. Great first outing and first dance of the season. 7-7-6 T20

Kel Mitchell and Witney Carson: Tango their energy gives me witfonso vibes. Also a decent first outing. Missed same hand holds, was a bit stiff, feet were kinda flat and not glidey enough. But again he can get there given time. 6-5-5 T16

Erin called Alan out for answering a question she asked Hannah 👏🏼👏🏼

Kate Flannery and Pasha Pashkov: cha cha cha she’s likeable and game for the show. Could be more grounded. Forgot a bit in the middle but kept going and kept her smile on. Welcome to the show, Pasha! 5-5-5 T15

Lamar Odom and Peta Murgatroyd: foxtrot. Wow, he is TALL. He was klunky and looked kinda lost out there. CAI brought up an encouraging point that he didn’t hunch his back. 5-3-3 T11

Lauren Alaina and Gleb Savchenko: cha cha cha well that wasn’t Cha Cha music and we should never give anyone sparkling tights again. She went off time at times which usually you expect musicians to not have problem with. Also must be more grounded. 7-6-6 T19

Sailor Brinkley-Cook and Val Chmerkovskiy: foxtrot considering she stepped in 3 days before the show, this was pretty good. If she’d had proper rehearsal time, she probably would have had a better posture and control. Some parts she came across as teenager having fun at prom which jarred with the super elegant super glam outfit and theme going on. 6-6-6 T18

Karamo and Jenna Johnson: salsa oof, the camera work did them dirty. Ignoring that, also another decent dancer. He had fun but needed hip action. CAI said it well - he underperformed but has potential to pop. 6-5-6 T17

Ray Lewis and Cheryl Burke: salsa he did one nice basic step at the beginning, then everything else was really rough. But he’s also game to be funky and play the audience. 5-5-5 T15 I’m surprised Len gave him a passing score.

Mary Wilson and Brandon Armstrong: foxtrot Brandon looks really excited, I’m happy for him. “Do you have any rhythm?” “I’m black.” “You’re not wrong.” She danced very gingerly. I think she has a bit more gusto in her. Mary is 75 and a half years old? Aged like fine wine. 6-5-6 T17

Also my DVR hung during the judges’ comments and I thought it was funny so make of this what you will:

Ally Brooke and Sasha Farber: cha cha cha she’s jumpy in her transitions, and like Hannah hitting her lines very harshly so it comes off kinda jerky. She didn’t have hip action in the basic Cha Cha steps, but given the ‘gyrating’ Len complained about she can get there. 5-5-6 T16

Lindsay’s partner and Lindsay Arnold: salsa I won’t say his name for reasons, but whatever your opinion of him, but at least he was game to dance to that ridiculous song and just enjoy himself. 4-4-4 T12

James van der Beek and Emma Slater: tango yo this guy is really handsome. WOW! Oh my god! Little details he needs to work on, but early call - James is the one to watch! Gotta point those toes and at one point his leg turned in but I would have been truly impressed if he’d gotten those. Frame is looking good, his footwork was good and he maintained a consistent height. Movement was smooth too. 7-7-7 T21 I’d have given him one eight. But he is still the highest scorer and deservedly so.

Well, this is a fair cast. We have a few frontrunners technically, as there is every season, but no one is hopelessly terrible. ALSO THE BRITISH VOICEOVER THAT ANNOUNCES “DANCING THE [XXX STYLE]...” IS BACK. 

Leaderboard as is: 1. James 2. Hannah 3. Lauren 4. Sailor 5. Karamo/Mary 6. Ally/Kel 7. Ray/Kate 8. you know who 9. Lamar

[lovemesomesurveys]

Welcome! And you are? Ya’ll should know this by now. When you buy/recieve new clothes, do you instantly wear them or wash first? I just wear them first. Do you hate using public restrooms? Yes, which is why I don’t unless I really have to for some reason. What’s the weirdest item you’ve seen for sale on Ebay? I haven’t come across anything weird, but when I go on there I search for specific things, so. Do you check to make sure there’s TP before using the restroom? Yeah.

Do you drunk dial/text? I have done that, yes. Why are mall Santas always portrayed as drunken, depressed old men? Ha I don’t know. Have you ever built a massive snow fort? No. What household chore do you loathe? I don’t particularly enjoy doing any of them. Are parents to blame for what their kids do on the Internet? I think they should monitor what they’re kids are doing online. Would you care to meet Tom, the creator of MySpace? I mean, it’s not something I aspire to do, but if I ever happened to for some reason it could be interesting. I haven’t heard anything about him in yearsss. Have you ever looked at a person and thought they looked like an animal? lol I’ve seen comparison photos of some people and their dog owners, or dogs/cats who look like certain celebrities. Do you use acronyms to remember things? I’ve tried that for some things in school. Like the whole PEMDAS for math. Do you take pills like Tylenol for the littlest aches and pains? I take a narcotic for my pain. What would you do for a Klondike bar? Nothing. They’re not that special. Don’t you think Crocs are ugly? I do. When was the last time you went rollerskating? Never. What trend do you hate right now? I don’t even really know what’s trendy right now anymore. Do you really follow trends, or just wear what you like? I just wear what I like, which may or may not fall into what’s considered trendy. How many times do you think you go out to eat each month? Oh, several times. I get fast food and takeout quite often. Do you call people “dude” a lot? No. Who was your favorite Ninja Turtle? I didn’t get into that. Horror flicks make you: laugh, scream, or squirm? I’m a scardy cat, but I’ve really gotten into them these past few years. If you could become a doctor, what would you specialize in? I wouldn’t. What’s the cutest thing a little kid has ever said to/in front of you? One time this random kid told me I was pretty and I was like, what?? lol. At what age do you plan on moving out? No plans for the foreseeable future. Did any characters from TV shows scare you as a kid? Which one(s)? Not characters, but the show Are You Afraid of the Dark creeped me out. What’s the saddest thing you’ve heard on the news recently? Too many things. Do you believe that acupuncture works? Perhaps for some people, but personally  I’m not so sure. Have you ever been hypnotized? No. I wouldn’t want to be. If you got expelled from school, would you continue your education? Like I’d ever get expelled. I was always the good one. haha. How long does it take before you trust a person? I don’t know, it just depends on the person and how comfortable I feel around them. Do you ever wish you had Jedi powers? That’d be cool. Will we ever get to see Jack’s face (guy from Jack-in-Box commercials)? Nope. Would you kick it with Jay and Silent Bob? Nah. Say…would you like a chocolate covered pretzel? If it’s white chocolate. Would a wax museum scare you or amuse you? I’ve been to one and it’s a bit creepy. What’s the first food you can smell when you enter the mall? Soft pretzels. Have you ever made a time capsule? What did you put in it? Nope. What would you do if your mom or dad read your diary/journal/blog? Yikes... Do you turn the music up when a good song comes on? Yeah. Do you know anyone with a lisp? No. Do you hate going to the doctor? Ugh, yes. I have to go regularly, which sucks. Why did the dish run away with the spoon? Why not the fork or knife? It’d mess up the rhyme. What is the worst hurt you’ve ever experienced? Loss of my grandparents and my dog, Brandie to name a few. Do you wish time went faster or slower? Both, it just depends. Do you write thank-you notes? No. If you were to break a Guinness Record, which one would you try and beat? None. Are you distracted by shiny objects? Sometimes. What’s the coolest item in your room? All my giraffe stuffed animals, particularly the 4ft one. Are you grateful for what you have? Yes. Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Me. Are you scared of clowns? Not really. They can be kinda creepy sometimes, though. Are you accident-prone? Yes. As a kid, what was your favorite activity on the playground? Just playing and hanging out with my friends. Are huge muscles gross or sexy? A little muscle is nice, but too much becomes unattractive to me. Especially like Arnold Schwarzenegger during his body building days or The Rock.... ew, no thanks. Have you ever fished and caught something weird? I went fishing once and caught nothing. Your final thoughts…? Goodnight.

[fugandhi]

Roseanne: A Swan Song

Roseanne had recently made an inappropriate twitter (according to somewhere online; you can look it up) remark and then deleted it, and it was a pretty awful remark from what Kim told me.

So, I love “Roseanne.” That show is my favorite television show, and has been ever since I was a young boy. I remember growing up even thinking, “Man, that kid DJ looks SO MUCH LIKE ME” with the bowl cut and everything (yeah I have humble beginnings because I’m an average person).

I don’t know why Roseanne said what she said, but I know it’s wrong to make pretty damn offensive remarks about someone based off of their appearance - Especially if it is something that has to do with their race, gender, religion, nationality, etc. I mean - that’s like totally common knowledge by now I would certainly hope.

I was not surprised when I found out that her show got cancelled. It is absolutely heart-breaking. The best American TV Family (next to The Taylors of course; Home Improvement is my Other favorite TV show; Al & Wilson are my favorites, rest in peace to Earl Hindman) is at the mercy of the American public due to Roseanne Barr’s very stupid remarks. She apologized afterwards, and of course she deleted the tweet - but we all know the damage has been done.

So - I feel kinda silly because the correlation between The Conners and the show “Roseanne” and then the actress Roseanne Barr are so closely relatable (just as my household felt growing up; even though my family is not exactly like theirs, but the growing pains were in my humble opinion) that it can be very difficult to discern where reality and fantasy are divided.

I know Roseanne is a good person. Recently in my life, prior to the Season 10 comeback from the gang - Kim & I actually bought the entire 9 season box set from like walmart or something….nothing fancy.. Needless to say - We still watch the show on our own to this day with joy and genuine happiness.

Some of the most important life lessons I’ve had to learn that helped shape me as a human being - from being a child to a man - I was able to find in this show. I have a simple family - we are all hard workers and we don’t ask for much other than a God’s honest fair opportunity just like any American, heck, any human household.

It breaks my heart knowing that Roseanne has to not only go through the Hawaii circumstance which is very, very heart-breaking in it’s own right, but then also Roseanne now faces public scrutiny for thoughtless remarks due to whatever was going on with her at the time… I don’t have any relevant context so I cannot determine why she said what she said - all I know is - she removed it, she realized she was wrong, and she apologized, and her show got cancelled and now every single person that was genuinely happy and legitimately putting their best effort forth now has to suffer under a guilty-by-association almost like a punishment they didn’t collectively deserve.

So, with all that said - I have to be transparent about my ignorance. I do not know who Roseanne was talking about - I do not watch cable tv, I do not overwhelm my heart and mind and soul with the herculean amount of bad news and bad stories that are just…. almost robotically informed to the public. Like…do news anchors stop and just friggin have mental breakdowns due to the overwhelming amount of just nonstop negative stories that they have to constantly share?..I mean dang.  Anyway, back to my point..

I don’t know who she was talking about, but I will tell you I saw the photo of the lady and I didn’t even think the joke was funny (it’s just downright mean, Roseanne). I know that Roseanne, and a lot of people, may have animosity or a lot to say towards like different people, or just anyone who may have a different belief or like different point-of-view (or I guess different way-of-life), but yeah, it’s completely wrong to just start making fun of someone’s appearance over whatever personal prejudice or personal bigotry or anti-whatever - it’s just like this: Be Good & Be Nice. It kinda goes back to the fundamentals of the household - If you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say it at all - I guess this is a lesson for all of us to keep in mind. Roseanne Barr is a household-name, she is very well-known, her fame is never going away, even with this stupid thing that happened (Anyone remember that whole Baseball/National Anthem uproar?) - Roseanne has been through a lot and a person of her intelligence and strength (especially Spiritually - She believes in God and she’s like very prominent about her religious beliefs) so she will continue to create important messages in her lifetime.

As far as the negative impact her words created - she has to heal the wounds. Either way it’s none of my business - I actually just watched the last 3 episodes of season 10, Kim and I had forgotten about them due to life happening.

So - after finding out about the upsetting remarks, and then that the show was cancelled very quickly afterwards (duh) - I watched the last three episodes of season 10 - and I still enjoyed the story. The very last episode, I believe, was a perfect ending for The Conners’ story. Roseanne’s Masterpiece is Complete.

The last episode was so profoundly meaningful, for myself as a viewer, let alone watching it with Kim (who of course was crying because it’s our favorite show). The funny thing is, I thought the last episode was completely fitting despite the fact that it was not planned to be the last episode.

The original last episode, back in season 9, was very heart-wrenching - especially with the fictitious death of Dan Conner - who is like the quintessential All-American Male (OH YEAH! John Goodman you are a blessing - God Bless you, Sir!) and that left a very powerful impact for me as someone who truly admired the show from beginning to end. You know, my favorite seasons are still like Season 1 & 2. I feel the same way about Home Improvement - which I still believe to this day deserves a full-fledged comeback season too - I mean yeah - it could happen. Anyway back to Roseanne - this show was very special in it’s initial stages. The Conners are not only a reflection of the average American Family, but they are a reflection of how American folk actually behave in a general sense - very hard-working, very smart, very big hearts, and very big dreams.

The struggle for the common family is the main concept of Roseanne, and yes it’s from her own unique perspective, but she had come out with full force in honor of Mothers and Wives across the land. It was a BEAUTY. It still is. Those seasons are still true - although it’s all a fantasy - there’s real pain and sorrow and real joy and bliss throughout these episodes.

The Conners represent American Values and the growing pains of us all who have had to work and earn our keep and also open our narrow points of view to concepts outside of our comfort zones (without having to compromise our free-will or beliefs). The show is very much like a photo album, or an energetic snapshot of how each of our respective homes have been - maybe that’s why the show clicks so easily for an average person who doesn’t come from like riches and wealth - and even then - I’m sure an obvious socialite could still at least identify with the personal growth and struggles of at least one of the characters. Whether it’s Bev being chastised by Jackie and Rosie for being too much of a judgmental hoity-toity kinda basket case (with the sweetest intentions) - or if it’s Dan throwin’ a hammer through dry-wall due to coming to terms with his own mortality as a man.

This show is powerful. The performances are spot-on. The quality is there. If this show wasn’t so damn lovable then why would people not cry over these stories and these genuinely damn fine acting performances (from everyone, even down to simple featured extras). There’s a lot of talent that was either on the show or in the behind-the-scenes - that have all gone on to work on other successful projects. Roseanne has so much sway. She carries so much influence because people  believe in her. I still believe in her. I don’t believe she would go out of her way to try to hurt others - Granted - I did recall watching a video online of Tom Arnold saying “You know, Roseanne the person and the character are 2 different people - She and ABC should apologize to the American Public” - and I saw that back when it was like her 3rd or 5th episode into the last season (so maybe this is karmic debt for Roseanne? God only knows dude).

Either way - the show is still amazing and you can’t take away the incredible accomplishments & achievements of everyone involved (even people who just don’t care about it anymore - which is cool too - because at the end of the day it is purely entertainment).

It’s astonishing to witness such a social outburst from American citizens - I’m like - dude there are worse things that come out of her mouth on her friggin tv show that people seem to just laugh and forgive instantly (for the sake of their own entertainment)…however funny - sometimes ya gotta make the choice between good and bad taste. I don’t agree with what she said. I think she mouthed-off and obviously displayed her own ignorance & obnoxiousness simultaneously and then thought about it afterwards. I forgive her.

I think it’s important to display a certain sense of forgiveness and mercy - obviously she already had her show pulled from her - but she is human. She’s not perfect by any means, neither am I, and I would never choose to play Devil’s advocate, I would only want to help sustain the legacy of not only her but of John Goodman, Laurie Metcalf, Alicia Goranson, Sara Gilbert, Michael Fishman, Natalie West, Sarah Chalke, Glenn Quinn, Johnny Galecki, Estelle Parsons, Martin Mull, Michael O’Keefe, and the list goes on… There’s a lot of people who still believe in the values of what this TV Family symbolize & represent as the common family.

ABC was never the right place for Roseanne. Netflix would be so much more suitable - especially with the recent FOX buy-out situation that prompted Matt Groening of The Simpsons and Futurama to leave (uh yeah, Disney is trying to monopolize which is lame). I think whether or not Roseanne continues (with or without ABC) - the legacy remains strong.

To conclude, It kinda surprises me that people hold Entertainers & Comedians & Musicians to a higher level of consequences (especially in a sociological standpoint) in comparison to other aspects of society. It’s like… to me… it just seems odd that Entertainers are treated like Political Leaders, and Political Leaders are treated like Entertainers. Isn’t that Odd to anyone else? Either way, I digress. God Bless the efforts of every person, especially Sara Gilbert, who really seemed to genuinely put their hearts, souls, minds, and their Faith into their work in telling the story of the contemporary family in American society. I thank all of those people from the bottom of my heart. All good things must come to an end I suppose. In the end - no one is Perfect. I’m not. You’re not. Roseanne definitely is not (lol), but you show me someone who is perfect (other than God) and I will call them a liar. We’re all in this together people. Stay Strong.

-ATOMIK 1

“Those who dream by night, in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that all was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, and make it possible.”

[incorrect-bom]

could you do headcanons for my gay son connor mckinley?

Heeeeere he is the most beautiful gay in the univerrrrrse CONNOR MICHAEL MCKINLEY: 

He's forgetful and doesn't write things down so he's anxious ALL the time

Softest hair in the world and it's very fine so falls neatly and naturally but that means it does get greasy easily and so he showers a lot

His eyes are deep dark blue that Kevin insists have a hint of green in them when you look close enough

Has them thicccccc thighs that are striped in stretchmarks as well as over his hips but he stopped feeling self-conscious of those ages ago because they're just skin marks? Why are they ugly but his freckles aren't?

(Kevin is the opposite he's OBSESSED with them. He's always dipping his fingers in them, and kissing over them because they're proper marks that tell him that Connor is real and not a gorgeous angel that he was blessed with (spoiler alert: he was))

His favourite film is Top Gun and he may have a MASSIVE small crush on young Tom Cruise

Arnold once mentioned how Tom Cruise kinda looks like Kevin when they were watching A Few Good Men and Connor spent the rest of the movie blushing

When he's not wearing his Mormon uniform he's wearing jeans and a hoodie he doesn't fucking care he likes his comfort okay?

His dancing clothes consist of some short shorts and a tank top and once Kevin walked in on him stretching in them and his face was red every time he looked at Connor for a week

Connor first had a crush on Chris when they arrived in Uganda because he was such a sweet boy with a beautiful smile, curly blonde hair and kind blue eyes but theN KEVIN PRICE WALKS INTO HIS LIFE WITH HIS SHITTY ATTITUDE, BITING SARCASM, STUPID SMIRK, THICK MESSY DARK HAIR AND DARK EYES THAT BURNED INTO HIM AND HE THOUGHT   F  U  C  K  M  E

He like Disney movies yes when you date Kevin Price you don't really get a choice but this boy is the BIGGEST Harry Potter nerd. He would go as Ron Weasley every year for Halloween because he's his favourite character and ships him with Harry more than Hermione

He loves almost every type of dance with tap being his favourite but he can never get his head around line dancing because the shouting of moves distracts him

He is COVERED in freckles. They're across his nose, over his shoulders, down his arms and legs and his back and especially some on his knees. He gets a lot more and they get darker in the sun especially around his neck and ears. Kevin swears he has kissed all of them which makes Connor's face burn when James leans over and asks "All of them?" with a wiggle of his eyebrows

When they get back to the states he gets job in a cafe by their apartment which he shares with Kevin (Arnold and Nabulungi & Chris and James live in the same building) so they get discounts on tea and pastries and Connor loves to tell people about different types of teas

Plus he looks really cute in his apron and Kevin makes sure to tell him all the time, untying it to hook it backwards around his waist and tug him into him for a kiss

He's one of the tallest, only an inch or two below Kevin, he's 6ft which he takes quite a bit of pride in especially when Davis grumbles about being 5ft 11" and a half

Once he came out properly to the Elders they bought/made him a rainbow tie and now he wears it every day with pride

His dream Broadway role is to be Enjolras in Les Miserables because even though the part doesn't have any dancing he still thinks its a powerful role about standing up for what you believe in and being unapologetically yourself

After Kevin tells him he loves him he becomes a little addicted to it and he must have asked Kevin to say it a hundred times that day. Kevin does so with a huge grin

He lets his hair grow out a bit when the rules began to relax so his fri hair curls under his ears and his fringe falls into his eyes a lot. Nabulungi gives him a couple of her slides to pin back his fringe and he loves how they add some structure and variety to his hair

His hell dreams only started to stop after he started sleeping in the same bed as Kevin. He realised it after they fell asleep during a movie night on the couch together with Kevin's nose buried in his hair, his soft breath against the top of his clothes shoulders and his one of his arms under his head to use his bicep as a pillow and the other hooked around his waist to hold him against his stomach, because when he woke up he felt more rested than he had in months and gladly rolled over on the small couch to snuggle into his chest

He LOVES wearing Kevin's clothes because even though he's not too much bigger than him, he has broader shoulders so his shirts are a little baggy on him which is nice in the sticky Uganda heat (Kevin doesn't mind AT ALL)

He and Kevin dance together all the time because Kevin is HORRIFIC dancer so Connor offers to teach him and it becomes their Saturday evening thing

He does a lot of yoga because he finds it very calming and helps with his flexibility needed for dancing so he leans completely parallel over his leg and closes his eyes to breath into it and you know that scene in IT (2017) when Beverly is sunbathing and all the boys are staring at her with Bust A Move by Young MC playing in the background and then when she looks over they all pretend to not have been staring?? THAT'S EVERYONE WHEN CONNOR DOES YOGA IN THE MAIN HALL

SAD ONES:

His mother would always send him a knitted jumper for Christmas like the Weasleys but after he sends a letter home coming out, the jumpers stopped coming. Kevin found him on Christmas Eve after everyone had gone to bed, crying softly as he held the solitary Christmas card that was cheap and quickly signed by his parents with no present. But it's okay because Kevin told Kalimba and now she makes them for him

One day a boy with heavy bags under his eyes came shuffling into the cafe and asks tentatively if there were any tea that could help him sleep. Connors' eyes softened and he gently tells him the best ones for nightmare-less sleep (which the boy didn't deny) and gives them on the house. He cries a little after he leaves.

When Kevin first told him that he loved him, he burst into tears because that meant this was real and he was gay. Kevin held him for a while, whispering how he wasn't going anywhere and that he's there for him.

Of course, he's struggled with a lot of internalized homophobia for the majority of his life which in turn created these horrific hell dreams that he has nearly every night. Most of them only causing him to wake up panting, crying and whimpering softly but a couple of times he woke up to scratches across his arms and blood under his fingernails. He screams and rushes to the bathroom where he washes and rubs at his hands for hours before slumping under the sink to cry so hard he was choking into his knees.

He gets sunburn really easily and it hurts A LOT so he hates showering after he's been in the sun no matter how much sun-cream he puts on

[junker-town]

Check out our most recent NFL mock draft, right here

Photo by Alika Jenner/Getty Images

After a national title win, the Tigers have a chance to match the mythical Miami team from the 2004 draft.

Think back to the 2004 NFL Draft. Times were better then. We really loved Usher and Napoleon Dynamite, and the only overly tan politician that mattered was Arnold Schwarzenegger. And Facebook launched. Fine, maybe things were awful in 2004 too.

But that year something special happened on April 24. After the draft got off to an awkward start with Eli Manning and Philip Rivers, a record six Miami Hurricanes were then taken in the first round. Count them out: Sean Taylor, Kellen Winslow II, Jonathan Vilma, D.J. Williams, Vernon Carey, and Vince Wilfork.

Some thought that last year Alabama could tie Miami for the most first-round picks for one school in the draft. It didn’t happen. The Crimson Tide had just half that many in the first round, with Quinnen Williams, Jonah Williams, and Josh Jacobs all going in the first 32.

Miami’s record could be tied in the 2020 NFL Draft, though.

But not by Alabama.

Instead, it could be the Tide’s rivals at LSU. Following a whirlwind national title season, the Tigers are guaranteed to have the No. 1 pick with quarterback Joe Burrow. After that things get interesting with several defenders and a wide receiver. This week’s mock draft looks at how LSU could make history with six first-round picks:

1. Cincinnati Bengals: Joe Burrow, QB, LSU

Here’s your week in Joe Burrow: He was compared to Tom Brady. A giraffe was named after him. Heck, you can even buy a painting of Burrow puffing on a cigar on Etsy for the low, low price of $49.99. See you next week when Burrow is still the first pick for the Bengals and I have to come up with something to write about it.

2. Washington: Chase Young, DE, Ohio State

John Keim of ESPN floated the idea of Washington trading out of the second pick. It’s true, Washington could get a franchise-altering return for the No. 2 pick. But it’s also true Washington would be passing up a chance to take a game-changing pass rusher at a time where the position is more important than ever. Don’t be Washington, Washington.

3. Detroit Lions: Jeff Okudah, CB, Ohio State

As Jeremy Reisman of Pride of Detroit explains, the Lions have a lot of needs, and cornerback is arguably the top one. So although head coach Matt Patricia has a middle-out building philosophy on defense, the lean for the pick could be Okudah.

4. New York Giants: Jedrick Wills, OT, Alabama

It’s funny how a single game between two bad teams can have such a huge impact. New York and Washington played one of the most exciting games of the season in Week 16. It was a 41-35 overtime win for the Giants. It was also the Chase Young Bowl. The loser, Washington, gets Young. The winner, New York, picks whomever it decides is the top offensive tackle in the draft.

5. Miami Dolphins: Tua Tagovailoa, QB, Alabama

Tagovailoa got good news recently after having hip surgery in the middle of November. While teams like Miami will poke and prod Tagovailoa plenty at the NFL Scouting Combine, this was a strong positive first step.

6. Los Angeles Chargers: Justin Herbert, QB, Oregon

As Geoff Schwartz explained recently, if Herbert is there for the Chargers with the sixth pick they should take him. Sure, general manager Tom Telesco might like his internal options like Tyrod Taylor, but no one on the Los Angeles roster is a potential franchise quarterback like Herbert.

7. Carolina Panthers: Derrick Brown, DT, Auburn

Choosing between Brown and Clemson’s Isaiah Simmons will be a difficult task for Carolina. Both are among the draft’s elite prospects and do very different things. The choice between them will be a philosophical one about team building.

8. Arizona Cardinals: Mekhi Becton, OT, Louisville

Many will argue that there’s little difference anymore between the value of a left tackle and a right tackle on an NFL roster. Still, there’s something to say about protecting the quarterback’s blind side. That’s why Becton could get the nod over Iowa’s Tristan Wirfs.

9. Jacksonville Jaguars: Isaiah Simmons, LB, Clemson

Following the stunning retirement of Telvin Smith last year, the Jaguars lost a degree of athleticism and playmaking ability on defense. Simmons could change that in a hurry. In a time when sub-packages on defense are the norm, Simmons would be a versatile asset who does just about everything well.

10. Cleveland Browns: Tristan Wirfs, OT, Iowa

Everyone knows the Browns need two offensive tackles this offseason. Greg Robinson was a disappointment last season at left tackle, and he’s a free agent. Right tackle Chris Hubbard has been ordinary since leaving Pittsburgh for Cleveland. The Browns should draft whoever they like most at tackle.

11. New York Jets: Andrew Thomas, OT, Georgia

The pick for the Jets in mock drafts is often a wide receiver. While it’s true the receiver situation in New York is dire, both of the team’s starting offensive tackles are free agents. Yikes. Although they could end up getting the fourth offensive tackle off the board, it doesn’t matter as much in a talent-rich draft for the position.

12. Las Vegas Raiders: Jerry Jeudy, WR, Alabama

That guy Jerry Jeudy, man, would be a perfect fit for the Raiders. This guy catches everything, man. I like to call this guy Marvin Harrison 2.0, man.

13. Indianapolis Colts: CeeDee Lamb, WR, Oklahoma

While the Colts could easily opt for a player like South Carolina defensive tackle Javon Kinlaw, the team could use another weapon for whoever plays quarterback. Maybe it’s Tom Brady. Maybe it’s Philip Rivers. Or even Jameis Winston.

14. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Javon Kinlaw, DT, South Carolina

The Buccaneers may have led the NFL in run defense last season, but they could still use a player like Kinlaw in the middle of their defense. The first round is light on edge rushers, so Tampa Bay could go after Kinlaw to fill that need. Of course, that is assuming Kinlaw lasts this long. He should be a combine standout at the end of the month.

15. Denver Broncos: Henry Ruggs III, WR, Alabama

16. Atlanta Falcons: A.J. Epenesa, DE, Iowa

I’ve been stuck with these two for pick Nos. 15 and 16 in just about every mock draft. Some things just make too much sense. Try and talk me out of it in the comments.

17. Dallas Cowboys: Marlon Davidson, DL, Auburn

The ideal pick for the Cowboys is probably Kinlaw. They’ve needed a pressure-creating defensive tackle for several years. But if he goes a few picks before Dallas comes up, things will get interesting. This may seem early for Davidson — and it probably is — but never, ever forget that strange and unexpected things happen in the draft. Davidson is a unique player. He started four years at defensive end for Auburn and played standing up a lot last season. But at 280 pounds, he has some intrigue as a gap-shooting interior player.

18. Miami Dolphins (via Pittsburgh Steelers): Josh Jones, OT, Houston

Jones is another player who could be a combine riser thanks to his quick feet and athleticism. In any other year, he might be in contention for the top 10. But with so many tackles, Miami could snag a starter in the middle of the first round.

19. Las Vegas Raiders (via Chicago Bears): Kenneth Murray, LB, Oklahoma

I’ll spare you the terrible Jon Gruden impersonation with this pick. It’s been years since the Raiders have had an athletic, playmaking linebacker. The team is thin at the position going into the new league year, so Murray should be on its radar in the first round.

20. Jacksonville Jaguars: (via Los Angeles Rams): Kristian Fulton, CB, LSU

Following the trade of Jalen Ramsey, the Jaguars find themselves in need of a cornerback. A.J. Bouye is still a solid player, but he had just one interception last season. At No. 20, the Jaguars should have their pick of cornerbacks after Okudah. Maybe it’s Fulton, Florida’s CJ Henderson, or even Mississippi State’s Cameron Dantzler.

21. Philadelphia Eagles: Laviska Shenault Jr., WR, Colorado

Somehow, Carson Wentz managed to throw for 4,039 yards last season while his top wide receiver, Alshon Jeffery, had 490 yards. That’s kinda odd. And yes, the Eagles have arguably the best tight end duo in the NFL with Zach Ertz and Dallas Goedert. And running back Miles Sanders is an effective pass catcher. But the addition of a player like Shenault could lead Wentz to going from a 4,000-yard passer to a 5,000-yard passer.

22. Buffalo Bills: Curtis Weaver, Edge, Boise State

Buffalo was already in need of a pass rusher before Lorenzo Alexander retired at the end of the season. In addition to the loss of Alexander, Shaq Lawson is a free agent. The Bills are desperate for pass-rushing help at this point. Weaver may not have a lot of sizzling speed as an edge player, but he was consistent at Boise State and knows how to use his hands to get off blocks. Buffalo can line him up on the edge, or even put him inside in nickel situations.

23. New England Patriots: K’Lavon Chaisson, Edge, LSU

Chaisson could be a nice fit for New England considering Jamie Collins and Kyle Van Noy are free agents. Bill Belichick could figure out how to utilize Chaisson best to replace one of those players.

24. New Orleans Saints: Jordan Love, QB, Utah State

This is another pick I’m stuck on. Don’t forget that not only is Drew Brees one of the oldest players in the NFL, but he’s not officially signed for the 2020 season. Plus, Teddy Bridgewater could leave this offseason.

25. Minnesota Vikings: CJ Henderson, CB, Florida

Even though it’s easy to argue for an offensive lineman for the Vikings, would Mike Zimmer ignore going after a cornerback? Since Zimmer became the head coach of the Vikings in 2014, the team has taken a cornerback in the first or second round three times. He’s addicted!

26. Miami Dolphins (via Houston Texans): Trevon Diggs, CB, Alabama

Kevin Nogle of The Phinsider did a tremendous job recently of summing up all of Miami’s needs this offseason. Quarterback and offensive tackle are the obvious big two, and there are value fits in the first round. Cornerback is another high need for the Dolphins. Xavien Howard’s domestic violence charge was dropped, but the team could still be wary and look to move on. Cordrea Tankersley also has just a season left on his rookie deal. The time could be now to take a player like Diggs and coach up his skill set.

27. Seattle Seahawks: Terrell Lewis, Edge, Alabama

The defensive line for the Seahawks is a mess. Despite adding Ziggy Ansah and Jadeveon Clowney, the Seahawks were near the bottom of the NFL in sacks last season. If Clowney departs, Lewis could be his replacement. Because he played at Alabama and stood up at the edge, it’s easy to forget that Lewis is 6’5 and 252 pounds. That’s almost the exact same size as Clowney. While Lewis isn’t the athlete Clowney is, he could get used in similar ways. Hopefully, the production will come.

28. Baltimore Ravens: Tee Higgins, WR, Clemson

The Ravens have great tight ends in Mark Andrews and Hayden Hurst. They have speed receivers with Marquise Brown and Willie Snead IV. What they don’t have is a true outside wide receiver who can go up and get the ball. That’s Higgins’ game. He could be a fantasy star in Baltimore — and help the team to a Super Bowl.

29. Tennessee Titans: Julian Okwara, Edge, Notre Dame

The Titans badly need to find a pass rusher to run opposite Harold Landry. Head coach Mike Vrabel is able to scheme sacks with his defensive line, and squeezed seven sacks last season out of Kamalei Correa, including the playoffs. Imagine what he could do with a speedy, 6’5 pass rusher like Okwara.

30. Green Bay Packers: Justin Jefferson, WR, LSU

This is another pick I remain bullish on. Jefferson really emerged in the LSU offense last season with 1,540 yards and 18 touchdowns. There’s no question that he’d be able to help a dull Packers passing offense.

31. San Francisco 49ers: Grant Delpit, S, LSU

With Jimmie Ward entering free agency, the 49ers could replace him with Delpit to maintain the rest of the depth on the roster. Delpit could slide back this far due to concerns about his tackling ability. But he’s a playmaker in the secondary and has special tools.

32. Kansas City Chiefs: Patrick Queen, LB, LSU

A third straight LSU player to close out the first round, with the quick Queen being an excellent option for the Super Bowl champions. The LSU program has become a linebacker factory with players like Kwon Alexander, Deion Jones, and Devin White all coming from the school in the last five years. Queen was only a starter for one full season, but he has the type of talent teams want in the modern NFL linebacker.

[fuckyeahcatdog]

Interview with Lisa Kossey Casting Coordinator/Supervisor of CatDog

Explain what you did exactly as a Casting Coordinator and Supervisor, to those reading that are unsure of what that includes.

In a previous email, you mentioned a few abbreviations- (EMR, SAG, ADR, etc) What do they mean?

"Basically a Casting Coordinator job is to assist in all duties related to the cast.

Pre-Production duties:

Assist the shows Casting Director (usually a freelancer)

Call actors agents to arrange time and location of the records

Reserve studio time for record sessions

Send cast scripts via mail (CatDog NEVER did that- cast didn’t need them early)

Complete all paperwork related to that record, SAG (Screen Actors Guild) and payroll time sheets and contracts and have actors sign necessary documents.

Brought copies of scripts and storyboards to the record sessions.

Circle Takes (track all lines recorded during session by number)

Responsible for getting the session tapes (everything that was recorded) and circle takes (tells us what lines we want to save) to the editor so he could create a EMR (Edited Master Record) EMR’s are the dialogue tracks of the show put in order as they appear in the script (no sound effects or music).

Make copies of EMR and distributes to the artist, and they draw what they hear.

Track all pick-up lines (any lines that may be added or revised during the storyboarding process).  

My job on CatDog was different then most Casting Coordinators at Nick, I did a lot of Post Production too.

Post-Production duties:

·        Kept track of the Show credits (who did what on what show- 1st season only)

·        Typed & Tracked animation retakes (when the cartoon has mistakes in animation, backgrounds, color, or creative changes and has to be fixed)

·        Spotted for ADR (Automated Dialogue Replacement- is when the actor see's the animation while he is recording dialogue, not just recording from script) when the dialogue track and animation would be put together sometimes words would not fit, or mistakes would be made, or Peter would change his mind about something and we would call actors back in to re-record while they watch their character on screen and followed animation.

·        Sat in with Peter during 1st looks and playbacks (to make sure all the ADR notes were incorporated in the show.

·        Sent music notes and changes to Denis Hannigan.

·        (and CatDog party planner- we had lots of parties!!)"

What are your fondest and craziest memories working on CatDog?

"There are so many!  I loved Tuesdays at 2:00 PM- that was record day. (Thanks Horta!!)

The best day working on CatDog had to have been when we hosted a “Make a Wish” day for a little boy who wanted to meet CatDog.  Peter, Jim, Tom and Carlos were great.   It was so nice to be able to make someone’s wish come true.  What a great family.

The staff and cast of CatDog were the best!

We worked very hard many days and many long nights at the office, but we had lots of fun and parties too. Halloween, St. Patty’s Day, Christmas, birthdays, or just because- we didn't need a reason.

Dave Warden days (Yadda Yadda!) Beer and Cake?  Why so many cakes?  3-hour lunches and office bowling (Laurel Canyon).  Remembering Nikki Gayle crying in previews of new shows (only Nikki would cry in a CatDog episode).  Free lunch Fridays. Jim’s Limo rides.  Looking for Peter’s credit card, again."

Working so close to the cast, did you find yourself sometimes going home quoting Cat or Dog or any of the characters?

“What are ya, Nuts!” Of course, and still do… “Hi-ho-diggety”.  I still find myself singing “Pretty Little Piece of Paradise” anytime I hear the word paradise. But I think Winslow had the most “behind the scenes” catch phrases of all. (Can’t tell ya those, Heh heh!).  My favorite quote from a show is, “My name is Dog with a duh!”- It’s a Wonderful Half Life.  My favorite recording studio quote, “My bad”.

Is most of the cast reading done separately, or do they do it together?    To get the whole CatDog togetherness feeling, did Jim and Tom read and act together a lot?

"We would try to record as much of the show with as many of the actors together as possible.  The CatDog cast are some of the busiest voice-over talent in the biz, so sometime we had to work around each others schedules.

I would read the script prior to scheduling the actors.  If one actor only had a few lines in the show I would try to call them in first and just get that line out of the way then they would not have to sit through the 2-4 hour session.

Yes, we tried to always have Cat & Dog together (two heads are better than one!).  Our cast worked extremely well together, we were able to record one 11-minute show in 2 hours, that was due to the magic of Jim and Tom playing off each other so well.  It could take other cartoons almost 4 hours to complete an 11-minute show."

The cast of CatDog is absolutely incredible and talented, was there a lot of improvisation?  Did the cast come up with any catch phrases?  Or was that strictly the writers and Peter?

"It’s hard to remember who wrote what, and who made it up but Peter and the writers came up with most of the catch phrases, but the way they were said had a lot to do with the actors improvisation.  Your right, the cast was incredibly talented and funny.  The actors did instinctively ad-lib often and we did end up using a lot of what they said.  You should have heard the ad-libs we couldn't use!! The writing never stopped during a record, the script was being revised up until the last take."

Which CatDog characters are your all time favorites and why?  Is there one in particular you can relate to real well?

"That’s a hard one, I really liked Little Cat- from Dummy Dummy.  I loved seeing Dog in his cowboy outfits (I like seeing anyone in a cowboy outfit!).  I guess I would have to say Dog, his innocence is so loveable."

Which episodes did you enjoy the most during your CatDog experience?

"My favorite is “It’s a Wonder Half Life” I loved the style of the animation in that show along with the music. I also like “Do Wop Diggety”, “The Island”; my favorites change.  I think more about the production process of the cartoon rather than the story- If I happen to catch a episode of CatDog on TV and remember what we were talking about during the recording session or how many changes the show had I don’t watch them as shows, but as little diaries that they bring back memories. At the time when ever I saw we had a song, I would dread record sessions, songs required a lot more time and preparation, but in the end those show are my favorite ones.

“Silence Please” had to have been the easiest!  I think the script was less than 3 pages, only about 4-7 minutes of dialogue in the whole show- easy money!!"

Did you work with all episodes from season 1 on up to Season 3?

"Yeppers! I worked on every single show!  No"t the original pilot- but we added a short to that one later."

The question everyone asks, which side of CatDog do you relate with most, and like better?

"I would like to say I am more like Dog, but I know I have some of Cat in me too!  In the beginning I really liked the character of Dog better, but Cat’s charm started to grow on me."

When did you decide to get into the cartoon world?   Do you also enjoy drawing and writing?  What did you do before CatDog?

"I never aspired to be in animation at all, I rarely watched cartoons as a child.  I was really lucky and my cousin (Dawn Hershey) that worked on Hey Arnold told me Nickelodeon was hiring a receptionist- had an interview, got the job.  I don’t draw very well, and don’t enjoy writing, (I suck at writing-just ask Peter). Before CatDog I worked on Angry Beavers as the receptionist."

Besides the movie, which episodes seemed to take a lot time and effort to put together?  Any episodes that were particularly difficult for any of the cast?

"“Canine Mutiny”- for some reason, I think I remember a lot of time spent on this one- it kept changing.

The cast was great, they would read a script 5 minutes before we started to record and hit every line almost perfect.  It was absolutely amazing at times of how great the talent pool was sitting in a CatDog recording session.

Difficult shows for the cast where, the shows that had a lot of screaming (I know- like all of them!).  Screaming is not hard for them, but you have to take into consideration that these actors work on anywhere from 2-10 different shows, commercials or promos a day and a lot of screaming can damage their voice for the rest of the day (or even week).  We would try to save the BIG screams till the end of the session or try to use a scream that was previously recorded. (If you listen real close you might be able to hear the same scream in two different shows)."

Perhaps this is more a question for an animator, but were any of the characters inspired by some of the actors looks?   (For example I saw Maria's hilarious standup on Comedy Central, and she's petite and blonde just like Shriek.   Do cast looks inspire some of the characters features?

"Maria worked at Nickelodeon as a receptionist and an assistant before she was the voice of Shriek.  Maybe Peter thought she resembled Shriek, but Maria’s voice was Shrieky- that’s how she got the part.   All the main characters were basically designed before we cast-ed the show (but a few changes were made after “Dog Gone” the pilot”, Lube’s look changed a bit).  When it comes to personalities; I would say Jim reminds me more of Cat, and Tom definitely is more Dog.  Carlos is more Winslow than Lube, but Billy doesn’t remind me of Rancid, Randolph or Mr. Sunshine in person. Do cast looks inspire some character features?  Kinda, I don’t think too much in the beginning, but as the show progress, I noticed some of the facial movements of the actors were reflected in their character, or maybe it was the actor becoming the character??

Tom “Dog” would always record in a booth inside the recording studio.  We called it his doghouse.  He read all his lines standing up and he would jump and wave his arms in the air, just like Dog while reading.  Jim was more relaxed; he sat while reading his lines. He always had a pair of drumsticks with him and in-between takes would play make believe drums."

Steven mentioned that Ray Pointer inspired "The Amazing Ray", did the animators draw a character that looked like you too?  Do you remember anyone from the staff that was drawn into the show?

"No, I don’t think I ever inspired anyone to draw me as a character (I tried!).  We did use names of staff in shows, Princess Kitaen, - from “Spaced Out” (Kim Kitaen was our Production Manager) but the princess didn’t look like her (she is much prettier).  We had a few Eric’s on our show (Evil Eric- won’t say which one was evil :) Angry Beavers did a bowling show based on their staff, I thought it was great.  I tried to push the idea- I had no pull!"

Did you come up with any of the show's ideas, such as a character quark dialogue idea, or an episode idea?

"Nope!  We would brain storm in record sessions over a phrase or something, but I don’t think any of my ideas made it past. (Good thing too!)"

Did you also assist with any script changes?

"In the beginning of 1st season I had to assist with script changes (just retyping and numbering of lines- no creative changes) until our (not so faithful- he quit 3rd season) Neil Martin joined the team as the script coordinator."

Did you or any other Nickelodeon staff members ever get to do voices that made it on the show?

"Yes, we would bring in a bunch of people that worked in the studio and do “Walla”.  That is all the background noise you hear in a crowd.  We found some hidden talents in many of the CatDog crew, Carolyn, Linda Barry, Vic Wilson, Steven Banks, Neil Martin, Don the Parking Guy, Peters Kids, Justin Brinsfield, Rob Porter and many more.

I hated having to go into the recording studio- but one day we had to finish ADR on “All About Cat” and we needed to fill a 3 second missing gap in one of Tallulah scenes.  I was the only girl around and had to go in and TRY to sing “La, la, la, la la.  After about 25 takes I was horrible, I did one that was so off and terrible that it made Peter laugh so hard he almost fell out of his chair.  He kept it! (Proof that I’m not an aspiring singer!)"

Is there anything else you would like to add before closing?

"It just doesn’t get any better than CatDog”

Thanks for bringing back so many great memories of such a fun time in my life.  Thanks for Peter for making it all happen, he was great to work with, I miss everyone so much.  Kristen you are the biggest CatDog fan I have ever known!!  Thanks for contacting me."

I'm glad to help you recall your incredible CatDog experience. Thank you very much for the interview and giving us a feel for what working on CatDog was like! :-)

Also Thank you for autograph,

and publicity booklet "CatDog Bible"

(source: http://catdog1st.tripod.com/LisaKossey.html)

[fanatic-writers]

Loki Is NOT A “Bad Guy” (FIGHT ME!!!)

A/n: again this isn't my story it’s from my book. Also, there are a lot of comments in this one and idk if I should apologize or not 

Warnoings: Some swearing (not enough imo)

(Cute Tom/Loki gif for a cute Loki story)

This one is kinda short, but tbh it’s my favorite. Ok, so this peasant is playing chess with a giant (apparently Vikings liked chess who knew?), and he beat his son on the game. (I don;t know why, but he did) Obvi the giant won or else the myth would be over and it’s not THAT short. Anyway, the giant is all “I’m gonna get your kid tomorrow and probably eat him unless you can hide him.” So the peasant and his wife pray to Odin for help. Odin comes down and turns the kid into a kernel of wheat and hides him in the field. Skrymsli (the giant) isn’t an idiot (well duh he won the chess match) and since the kid isn’t in the house he goes out and plows the field (kinda nice now the family doesn’t have to do it but also a dick move man) and after searching through the wheats finds the ear of what where the boy is hidden and just as he’s about to eat the kernel Odin takes it away and turns the boy back into a boy (cause as much as i kinda hate Odin he isn’t 100% an asshole.) Odin is all “I can’t help” and leaves so the peasant and his wife pray to Hoenir (pronounced high-neer and might’ve helped Odin create humans idk I cant find much on the guy ((god?))) who his the boy in a swan’s feathers as a downy fluff. When Skrymsli (gods I hate his name its so weird) came back he found the swan and broke it’s neck (wtf dude that extra of) and almost ate the boy until Hoenir floats the fluff away and turns him back into a boy. The god says he can’t help anymore and leaves and the giant says “I’ll be back” (read that in Arnold Schwarzenegger's voice it’s funny.) The desperate family prays to Loki (tbh I’d go to him firs but you know Odin is an ok choice I guess) who promises to help the family. Loki turns the boy into a fish egg and places him in the belly of a salmon. On his way back from the ocean he sees Skrymsli (seriously why are norse names so strange… probably cause they’re Norse…  this has been a midnight revelation with G) is hell bent on fishing and Loki insists on fishing with him in case he is needed. (that’s my boi.) A few moments later the giant is reeling in a fish which jut=st happens to be the exact fish that Loki hid the boy in (How Loki knows I don't know cause all fish look the same to me.. Is that racist.. Fishist…. More midnight revelations.i should do this more often) ANYWAYS Loki takes the fish egg from the giant before he can eat it and transforms it back into the boy. He tells the boy to secretly run (all i can imagine is Loki being like the doctor and grabbing the boy’s arm and whispering run tbh) and the boy does as he’s told cause he’s not a fucking idiot (ayy first swear word.) The giant isn’t an idiot (as I’ve said) and chases the boy. The boy runs into the boat house and closes the door (Loki told him to do this btw) and Skrymsli (I DID IT FROM MEMORY OMG SO PROUD) runs into a spike that Loki had placed on the door before hand. This makes the giant collapse and Loki cuts off his leg (idk why he Vikings had violent ways to stop people and giants ok.”) The god notices the lag start to reattach itself and cuts off the other leg quickly placing flint and steel between the severed leg and te part still attached to the giant (the stump? And why does Flint stop magic? Is it cause it makes fire? Does fire top magic? All questions for my Wiccan mother… maybe she’ll know. Why am I still typing???) back to the story this stops the leg from re-attaching and kills the giant i guess 9he probably bled out.) The peasants are really happy and considered Loki the mightiest god (well duh he is… maybe I’m related to these peasants that’d be cool) cause he actually solved the problem while the other gods only helped for a bit, failed, and left.

 THE END

(told you it was short)

A/n: Again thanks for putting up with my shennanigans (that’s a funny word I should use it more often.) I hope you enjoy these litle bedtime stories. 

[cosmicjaems]

92 Question Tag

I was tagged by @kakaotaeks ily

THE LAST

drink: water

phone call: dad, something about food

text message: my cousin, something about me pretending he died

song you listened to: Straight Up & Down by Bruno Mars

time you cried: whenever ep 30 of The Best Hit aired

dated someone twice: nah fam, i pulled a minhyun

kissed someone and regretted it: ^^^

been cheated on: ^^^

lost someone special: my plant...

been depressed: nah

gotten drunk and thrown up: i dont think so

3 FAVORITE COLORS

orange but like a soft orange

red

black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

made new friends: hella

fallen out of love: nah, i don’t fall in to fall out

laughed until you cried: i don’t work that way lol

found out someone was talking about you: talk shit, get hit,,,,,lmao no

met someone who changed you: my best friend made me a better person lol

found out who your friends are: yeah, squad’s complete

kissed someone on your Facebook list: i don’t kiss lmAO

GENERAL

how many Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them unfortunately

do you have any pets: my new plant,,,,

do you want to change your name: lowkey in middle school to something edgy like,,,,,Erina or some shit like that, not anymore

what did you do for your last birthday: kbbq, bubble tea, & chilled in my room

what time did you wake up: 5:30am,,,,,,,,i hate high school

what were you doing at midnight last night: trying to sleep, stayed up to creep in a groupchat lol

name something you can’t wait for: graduating and going off the college

when was the last time you saw your mom: 2 mins ago probs

what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i drove, so i can work and earn $$$$

what are you listening to right now: Up from the movie Sing Street

have you ever talked to a person named tom: there’s a cat named tom i chill with sometimes,,,,,

something that is getting on your nerves: fetuses tryna act grOWN

most visited website: tumblr & driver’s ed

LOST QUESTIONS

mole(s): on my right wrist, upper left arm, and my ring finger

mark(s): i have a birthmark on my elbow that looks like a teddy bear (kinda), and a scar on my leg from a shaving incident lmAO

childhood dream: a singer, like a Taylor Swift, but Asian

hair color: black/dark brown

long or short hair: midway? it’s like shoulder length 

do you have a crush on someone: lmao kms :-)

what do you like about yourself: i try to be super positive, i’m sarcastic as hell, and i’m dedicated to music and robotics 

blood type: idk

piercings: i don’t do needles

nickname: Natty, Natalia, Nathan, hoe, bitch, lil shit, maknae(? by like one person),

relationship status: single lol, always

zodiac: sagittarius

pronouns: she/her

favorite tv show: uh, teen wolf, riverdale, the great british bake-off, freaks and geeks, and quantico. k-dramas: the best hit, reply 1997, age of youth, school 2017. anime: ouran, free, shokugeki no soma.

tattoos: none but i want soso many

right or left handed: leftie

surgery: nah

sport: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,i try, i try so hard, but nAH FAM

vacation: i want to either roll around my bed all day or go somewhere far away like Tokyo or Barcelona

pair of shoes: i live in my converse and occasional nike shoes

MORE GENERAL

eating: i live to eat, anything except tomatoes. faves would be french fries, ice cream, and momma’s cooking.

drinking: water, strawberry-mango smoothies, iced coffee, bubble tea, arnold palmers

I’m about to: continue writing my angst fic lol

waiting for: my license and for the competition season to start and for me to talk to me crush lololol kill me

want: more film for my polaroid, 50 billion albums, black converse, a 4.0 gpa, and clear skin

get married: eh, maybe? eventually, idrc

career: electrical engineering bc $$$

WHICH IS BETTER

hugs or kisses: hugs bc kisses scare me lol

lips or eyes: eyes

shorter or taller: they’ll be like,,,,,smols if they’re shorter, so tol pls (unless it’s a cute smol girl then yES)

older or younger: same age, younger people are automatically my smol children who must be protected and fed cookies

nice arms or nice stomach: both? idk how’d you have a nice stomach

hook up or relationship: relationship, but idk college might be wiLD

troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker when it comes to talking, hesitant when it comes to action lmAO

HAVE YOU EVER

kissed a stranger: what’s a kiss

drank hard liquor: does whiskey count?

lost glasses/contact lenses: yeah, they ended up being on my head

turned someone down: yes bc the boys who like me i just see as friends

sex on the first date: nah 

broken someone’s heart: i don’t think so?

had your heart broken: nah

been arrested: nah

cried when someone died: idk anyone who died but if we’re talking like a tv character or book character, then yeah

fallen for a friend: si

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

yourself: usually

miracles: eh

love at first sight: nah fam, life isn’t a fanfiction

santa clause: nah

kiss on the first date: if they cute and nice then hELL YEAH

angels: probs

OTHER

eye color: brown, like dirt

favorite movie: Sing Street, Heathers, Your Name, Spirited Away

tagging smols-and-tols: @wilderye, @seungkwanslowqualityenglish, @ladynightmareii, @princess-megz, @simplicitwannaone, @dae-vil, @jihoonslattee, @laji-101, @splashinglys, @heochannies

[dwtspd]

DWTS S27 Week ONE!!! Nights 1+2 review

Man, when I saw Tom I suddenly felt like it had been AGES since I watched this show, then I realised, I didn’t even watch the athlete season. My friends told me it’s not worth it so I will probably never watch it.

Idk how the two-night thing is gonna work out so this is a combined post.

Night 1

Mary Lou Retton and Sasha Farber - Cha cha okay, was that video package kinda short? Also maybe it’s cos I’m not American but I’m soooo over all the “yay USA” themed dances. Anyhows, Mary Lou is a former US gymnast who won gold in 1984, the first US woman to do so. No mention of her current embroilment in the USAgym-gate. Okay, she can definitely remember steps. She needs to work on timing and also getting those latin shapes. 6-7-6 T19 huh that’s kinda harsh?? Might have been 1-2 pts higher if she went later I think.

Milo Manheim and Witney Carson - Cha cha Sorry Milo, but Zombies aiiiin’t that great. In case anyone doesn’t know, Zombies is a cheesy af DCOM musical. I really like his energy though. “Tell me about yourself.” “I’m still in school.” I love that. It’s quite refreshing cos we don’t get young male contestants as often as the girls. Whoa, he has those hips! I don’t think his limbs were as messy as the judges made it sound. His legs looked a little awkward during the cha-cha walks. That aside, this dance was so fun to watch! 7-6-7 T20 “That’s good, that’s good!” Witney tells him. Again, I think he could get a tad higher scores if he went later.

Evanna Lynch and Keo Motsepe - Foxtrot OMG Keo’s reaction was priceless. Evanna probably needs no introduction, but anyway, Luna Lovegood. She wanted to go to dance college, but was rejected so DWTS was the next best thing. I think the song did them in, but I found some of her movements too sharp for a foxtrot. She has nice frame and did something weird with her hand once. Definitely has potential. 7-5-6 T18 oooooh Len that was harsh. Tom, the correct term is he who shall not be named.

Speaking of, I like the new green glitter score background.

Danelle Umstead and Artem Chigvintsev - Foxtrot Danelle is a blind alpine skier but gosh she has good footwork and lots of grace. Her shoulders came up a bit and I think she had to adjust her footing going into the spin. When I saw the opening, I was like “Artem is making her walk down the steps to him??!!” At least they went down together. I think her and Artem will be a very nice, friendly, genuine partnership. 6-6-6 T18

Side note: I really didn’t need to hear “Rise Up” again.

Bobby Bones and Sharna Burgess - Jive Bobby is...a lot of things. I’ll say entertainer. His main schtick right now is his country radio show. Guy has boundless energy, I’ll give him that. Jive suits him. He had to point his feet, and the footwork was real rough. If he was judged for enthusiasm though, he’d get a perfect score. 7-6-7 T20 yeah that’s too high. I think the judges got a little high off his energy. I think he should be sitting at a 16-17.

Juan Pablo Di Pace and Cheryl Burke - Salsa Juan Pablo is an actor most recently from Fuller House and Mamma Mia. Uh huh, here’s the sexy hot couple of the season right here. It took really long to get into actual salsa though. Some of the moves looked unpolished and uncertain, but he had a sense of timing and can move. his. hips. 7-7-8 T22 haha we all knew Bruno would like it.

Ayyyy hey Rashad! Apparently he’s going into hosting, showing us the DWTS BTS web series. Go support that guy, he’s an all-round all-star.

Nikki Glaser and Gleb Savchenko - Salsa Nikki is a comedian and entertainer. She told Gleb he looks like he should be emerging from a pool, which I’m pretty sure he has done before for some modelling thing. Apparently she got injured over the weekend. Could have affected the performance. She seemed fine in rehearsal but looked really ginger and reserved while dancing. Her limbs looked awkward. Arms were kept really close to her body and her legs...I don’t know any other way to describe it except “baby giraffe”. 6-5-6 T17

Alexis Ren and Alan Bersten - Jive Alexis is an instagram influencer and model. She’s doing the show for her late mother who enjoyed it. Okay I’ll say it here, she is the one to beat technique-wise. My only complain is she could be more bouncy. Everything else was spot on IMO. I think her possible downfall would be her sketchy voting base. Lots of insta followers doesn’t necessarily mean they will vote. We’ve seen that with past social media stars. 7-7-7 T21 I think she should be equal with Juan Pablo honestly.

John Schneider and Emma Slater I’ve never heard of his Dukes of Hazard show but his name sounds familiar. He’s done so many things, I’ve probably seen him somewhere. Well he certainly has the right attitude. His dancing was...here and there. Some times I was like ‘oh, that’s not bad’ and then i’d be like ‘okay that needs improvement’. I think he’s good enough and charming enough to appeal to the DWTS demo though. 7-5-6 T18

Tinashe and Brandon Armstrong - Jive Tinashe is a singer...who I’ve never heard of. But I live under a rock. Brandon is newly promoted and awwww he’s so adorable. He gave her lots of content which she handled fairly well. She was very clean but I feel like it was toooo clean. Like you know how if you strip water of too many minerals it’ll just burn your tongue. I feel like sometimes I was watching a stick figure dance. Could have used more bounce. CAI’s comment didn’t make sense. 8-7-8 T23

Nancy McKeon and Val Chmerkovskiy - Quickstep Nancy was an actor from a show called The Facts of Life which probably pre-dates me. She has the facial expressions!!! Quickstep on week 1 is no joke but she kept up for most of it. Yup she was wobbly at times, because she was lacking the contact in hold with Val, but that seems to be a Thing TM with all his partners so it’s more Val’s fault. For a while I was like “omg is Val choreographing a solid routine with moves in hold??” and then they broke hold. I’m surprised Len didn’t call that out. Nancy was reall animated in that section though. 6-6-6 T18

Joe Amabile/”Grocery Store Joe” and Jenna Johnson - Quickstep Joe is from the Bachelor franchise and got his nickname because he owns a grocery store. He wants to become Dancing Joe now. He’s kinda cute, sorta charming in a slightly-awkward-little-self-depreciative way. Very likeable guy. I think with his personality and the bachelor backing, he’ll stick around for a while. Yeah that definitely wasn’t the best dance. He was flat footed, made mistakes, getting QS definitely didn’t help either. Can see he is trying to stay positive. 5-4-5 T14

Demarcus Ware and Lindsey Arnold Soon to be NFL hall of fame inductee. Has won the Super Bowl. You know, I hate American football as a sport, but these NFL guys always come in and work hard and it pays off. Demarcus can move and seems to have hella groove, with personality to boot. He’ll have to clean up some lines, but I can see him growing a lot on this show. Such a delight! 8-7-8 T23

Night 2

Ohhhhhh I love that opening number!! I can see why it’s not a premiere opener but wowwwww.

Okay so apparently the bottom half after judges score and votes from night 1 will have to dance again. Everyone else would have rehearsed a second dance for nothing...I guess. I feel like maybe they should have let everyone dance their second dance, but only score those in jeopardy.

Rashad out there with a message for Demarcus. I was kinda waiting for that the first night.

Safe - Demarcus, Tinashe, and...JOE!!!!!! That was the chillest reaction to a (not so) surprise safe.

Jeopardy - Nancy

DWTS Jr pros dance and make me feel old. Jake Monreal!!! And okay, JT Church has some ballroom moves. There’s one brunette guy (not Sage) who has nice hair. And the blond boy looks a little familiar but I can’t put my finger on it.

Safe - Juan Pablo, Bobby

Jeopardy - Nikki, John, Alexis

Alexis and Bobby’s placements are telling about the voters.

Okay. I watched the two episodes back to back. People I forgot about by the time I started night 2: Mary Lou, John, Danelle, Nancy. Also I knew Tinashe, Evanna and Juan Pablo were there but I kinda forgot how their dances looked.

Lmao Milo and Tom. “Why are you so scared about what I’m gonna ask you?”

Amy Purdy with a message for Danelle. She looks so different than I remember.

Safe - Milo, Evanna

Jeopardy - Danelle, Mary Lou

Okay so summary Top 7: Demarcus, Milo, Juan Pablo, Bobby, Evanna, Tinashe, Joe Bottom 6: Alexis, Danelle, John, Nikki, Nancy, Mary Lou

So they are bringing back the Judge’s choice encore from when they had result shows. This week: Demarcus.

They introduced the Junior stars. I’m having a hard time remembering who is who but: - JT’s “OH MY GOSH” when his pro-skateboarding partner did a trick - Mackenzie Ziegler is not a “pop star” she’s as good as a pro dancer. WHO’S BRIGHT IDEA WAS IT TO MAKE HER A CONTESTANT???!?!?

Can they intro the Jr pros too? All the cast of Juniors including the adult pros do a dance number and all I get from it is that red latin shoes are not in style.

Okay so we don’t have time for 6 dances or something so John is safe and won’t have to dance for his life any more.

Couples will dance the same style as night 1, but the choreo and song will be different.

Mary Lou and Sasha - cha cha okay I dunno what their rehearsal strategy was, but this dance felt very basic and less rehearsed than their first. She was more precise and controlled, but seemed to have less energy in it. 7-7-7 T21

Danelle and Artem - foxtrot the rehearsal vids seem to imply the couples were only given Monday night to come up with their second numbers. If so it must have disadvantaged Danelle. She was more timid and reserved. 6-6-6 T18

Nikki and Gleb - salsa She looked more confident this time. Legs less giraffe-y. Her arms were still awkward. 6-6-6 T18

Alexis and Alan - jive Ooooohhh this was good. Her technique was good again, but I think the mood of this dance suited her far better. I think she had a lot more energy and personality in this performance. 7-8-8 T23 Len says it is the best dance of the night and I agree as does Bruno.

Nancy and Val - quickstep Oh dang, the shorter dress exposed Nancy’s shortcomings. Her lines were wonky and she still looked a little unstable sometimes in hold, which was easier to see in this costume. It also made her look like Tweety Bird tumbled dry, They stayed in hold this time though. 7-7-7 T21 that seems generous.

Okay so Mackenzie Ziegler sings. She has a decent voice. Gotta set herself apart from her sister I guess.

Online voting for night 2 was open for...10 minutes? And I wager only US east coasters could vote.

Results time! (finally.)

Safe - Danelle, Alexis (yay!), Mary Lou

Nikki vs Nancy...Eliminated: Nikki. no surprise.

My favourites are Milo and Alexis. Also rooting for Danelle on a slightly lower tier. Surprisingly, Evanna isn’t really on the forefront of my mind.

Also, whether or not the couple danced on the second night might affect their memorability. Like, Bobby make an impact night 1, but after night 2 I kinda forgot about him. The only person who didn’t perform night 2 who I remember is Milo. Everyone else I was like “oh wait, who’s here again?”

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW31

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week.

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Bennett, Sterling, Pogba

IN: Azpilicueta, Hazard, and Fraser

Feel like vomiting but whatever. Bit lost in the sauce here this week and not overthinking things going for the 'obvious' guys in. Jamaal's recent death rest in peace rip riperino Jamaal means that the -4 for Azpil Daveydaviddaveboy seemed more fine. I'm finally on 0 Wolves though. Can't be mad about that.

GK:

Heaton (LEI)

Thomas Heaton go do one. 1 point from 2 games so far since I've purchased the old man....just another completely inspired FPL GK pick by me. Hoping for 2 points this weekend....expecting 1. Fucking fuck me and fuck you tom.

DEF:

Azpilicueta (eve)

New boy Dave goes at Goodison. I have no feels for him or them whatsoever, but just kinda shitting him in there for lack of other options. Bleh.

Robertson (ful)

Robbo goes at the Cottage. Not much to say there.

Lascelles (bou)

Since Jamaal is only capable of full training and not playing in an actual game it’s probably going to be Chambers (LIV) out there instead. God bless me and you Cal. Please return a 0 pointer and make daddy proud.

MID:

Mané & Salah (ful)

Mane surprise not pictured in training is a bit of a lulsac. Not much to say about it but to say hope he's getting a cheeky rub down and pen15 massage after his destruction of ze Germans. Mo goes again. Pewps.

Hazard (eve)

Eden is back in for first time in about three months. Old security blanky welcome back old friend. Never know what he's going to do and/or when he's going to try but here's to hoping it's this weekend putting him in the shop window for Zizou.

Fraser (NEW)

Lastly no neck is also back in from the cold for the first time in a few months. Don't feel great about him and was really trying to find any excuse of life to punt on someone else more fun but it just didn't come. Frayz in, frayz is life.

FWD:

All the cheapo randallios are in this weekend.

Rondón (bou)

Big Sal just the absolute god of my season goes to Cherrytown feels fine even tho they've been a bit shit away.

Wilson (NEW)

Counterpart Collum stares him down in the eyes of his face and hopefully there are goals for the both of them. Or he's not fit and ded and Edward Howe strikes again. Wouldn't be even a little bit surprising.

Barnes (LEI)

Last friend is Smashley Smashboy home to Brodge's leaking ship defense. I expect dongs and there must be dongs Ash. Let's go Ash.

BENCH:

n/a

CAP:

Salah (ful)

Not punting and just rolling with the sheep on Mo. Whatever.

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Schindler

IN: Daniels

Doesn’t get more exciting then transferring a shitty ass Huddy defender to a shitty ass Bournemouth defender. Circus Charlie in, Schindy very out. Trusting my pod partner on this one.

I don’t want to write a really long explanation of why I’m making an extremely passive move here despite 2FT so to keep it as to the point as possible: 1. I have 11 dudes this weekend with no transfers and 2. I’m not 100% FHing next week so keeping Raz / Kun / Paul is potentially very good for me and I’ll have 2FTs next week. TC next week on one of my City guys while everyone else is FHing? Maybe. We’ll see. Keeping my team as flexible as possible.

GK:

Heaton (LEI)

Tom has been a WALL since I got him in with back to back 1 pointer and 0 pointer. Get the fuck in there Tommy.

DEF:

Luiz (eve)

Not liking the odds here of a clean but it’s definitely possible. Everton are so erratic no idea which version will show up and the same can be said of Chelsea’s defense. Maybe a Luiz long ball assist as shouted on pod or a set piece ding (Everton worst set piece record in the league) are on this week. That’d be a treat but knowing me he won’t even start. Fuck.

Matip and Alexander-Arnold (ful)

Matip should be safe to go again even with Lovren lurking he’s done nothing to lose his place and he’s only 27 and getting better imo... Trent on the other hand, I wrote in my musings, I personally would rest this weekend if it were up to me. But it’s not up to me so maybe he goes and hatty assists again. Why not?

Lejeune (bou)

Scared for Newc with their injuries but Rafa is a master tactician and will set up the team as best as he can for a 0-0 so let’s see what happens before we write them off to Bournemouth.

Daniels (NEW)

It’s a nice and warm feeling to get an old school FPL gem like Circus Charlie back in my side. Maybe he’s got one more worldy in store for me this week. You dirty fucking dog Circus get in there.

MID:

Salah (ful)

Duh.

Brooks (NEW)

Howe and his lies continue to fuck with all of our heads. Is Brooks fit? No clue. Callum? Fraser? Anyone? Legitimately no clue at all what’s happening here. Just hoping I get lucky and Brooks starts and gets points. Come on Brooksy.

McNeil (LEI)

Young Dwight. Maybe he can do something. Positive player, I like the look of him, can see him bagging another assist or something in this one. Come on Dwight.

FWD:

Rondón (bou)

Feels like I have the 4th and 5th choice forwards for the week according to all the FH teams that I’m seeing but ya know what? Fine with it. I like Sal to bully Bournemouth and to go get his as he’s fantastic and having the best season of his English league career.

Barnes (LEI)

Barnesy and Burnley hit a bit of a rough patch in their last two before Liverpool (Liverpool doesn’t count when I’m evaluating their form) but he still scored vs. Palace. We all know Leicester defense is utter trash and Burnley should turn up at Turf Moor. I think Barnes’ cuntiness will prevail. Insane Schmikes is gonna take him out for a red card or something. Can’t wait.

BENCH:

n/a

CAP:

Salah (ful)

Once I decided to keep my transfers pretty conservative this became a non-thought. If I brought in Haz or Mané or something I would’ve given it some real thought but yeah, best player in a ridiculous banker... I don’t think triple cap is a bad shout this week which says everything that I need to say about Salah’s prospects vs. Fulham. Go on Mo.

[itsworn]

24th Amelia Island Concours & A POSIES Retrospective

Most cars and coffee events across the country (where car enthusiasts of all types gather at some local donut shop parking lot early on a Saturday morning) can easily draw hundreds of vehicles while their owners ogle each other’s rides.

But what if the you wanted to step it up a few levels and have the best of every type of car in one place from across the automotive spectrum—from record-setting NHRA dragsters to LeMans racers, from the lowly Volkswagen to the high and mighty Bugattis and Delahayes, from all sorts of rare Porsches, Ferraris, Mercedes, as well as many different years of American cars that span the wood-spoke era to chrome-heavy ’50s behemoths?

Then you toss in a dream facility, not some corner asphalt parking lot covered in oil stains, but rather the long and carefully manicured fairways of an upscale golf course adjacent to one of the most highly regarded beachfront hotels in the world: The Ritz Carlton. And, for good measure, make this stunning weekend a charitable event. Where could this kind of perfect automotive weekend ever happen? Why in Florida at the 24th annual Amelia Island Concours D’Elegance, of course!

When folks think “concours” they usually have a vision of snobby rich folks in their pressed pants sipping champagne, but the Amelia event isn’t like that. It’s much more down to earth than some of the world’s other d ‘elegance shows but, make no mistake, the cars attending this stellar event are some of the finest (and, be default, the most expensive) in the world.

Nearby several national auction houses concurrently conduct their business, offering truly amazing cars; with some bidding reaching several million dollars apiece. But this event also features more common (or at least better known) manufacturers and, surprisingly, we found many hot rodders sprinkled into the mix.

Well known historic hot rod collector Bruce Meyer had a vehicle in the show, and former Big 3 execs (and longtime hot rodders) Wayne Cherry and Tom Gale were on hand to judge some of the car classes, a job rodding enthusiast, writer, and historian Ken Gross was also on hand for.

Second generation builders Rod Emory (grandson of Valley Custom founder Neal Emory) and Rob Ida (who perfected his trade while working alongside his dad, Bob, at Ida Automotive) were both on hand with their latest work: an Outlaw Porsche 356 for rocker John Oates and a restored ’48 Tucker, respectively. Historic drag cars (Altereds, dragsters, and Funny Cars) as well as road race vehicles were displayed, and we also ran into Larry Griffey (a recent Pirelli Great 8 winner at the Detroit Autorama) who had two restored vehicles on the field.

The event actually covers two days, with the first starting early with an informal cars and coffee type of gathering where 400 or so auto enthusiasts roll in single file by themselves or with their club or friends, then park on the fairways and hob-nob with each other. A contingent of Dodge Vipers drove in, as did a Morgan club and a group of Mustang owners. Model T speedsters were present and, on the other end of the spectrum, a street-driven 917 Porsche motored onto the lawn (Hey! It had license plates, so it was street legal, right?).

On Sunday the field was open for the concours cars to drive in, and all the rare and beautiful cars took their spots for judging. In front of the Porsche booth was a row of 11 962 Porsche race cars. Vintage American race cars (including Corvettes, Cheetahs, Cobras, and Kurtis Kraft) co-mingled with their European counterparts (Peugeot, Stanguellini, OSCA, and Maserati) covering the 10th and 18th fairways of the Amelia Island Golf Club course and, if you appreciate fine automotive design, you had a hard time knowing which way to look next.

The display of dragsters (including Don Gartlits’ Wynnscharger, Tony Nancy’s Sizzler, and the rainbow-colored Dunn & Reath rail) along with a pair of Funny Cars and a pair of Altereds (including Rat Trap and the Bradford Topolino) treated the crowd to an old-fashioned cacklefest on Sunday afternoon; something we bet  many concours attendees had never seen (or definitely heard!) before.

Recently the Amelia Island Concours d ‘Elegance Foundation (the charitable organization that has run the annual concours for the past 24 years) has begun inviting handpicked honorees to assemble a retrospective of their work and showcase it in a special class alongside some of the world’s finest examples of rolling automotive art.

This year, the Foundation invited hot rod builder Ken Fenical (better known as Posies) to show a collection of cars he designed and built for customers in his Hummelstown, Pennsylvania, shop over the past 40 years. Though he made his name in the hot rod industry by creating, manufacturing, and selling a line of Super Slider suspension springs for hot rods, his artistic passion gets expressed in the cars he’s built.

As far back as the early ‘80s, Posies got noticed with a yellow 1936 Ford roadster he’d built that not only emulated the padded-top customs he remembered as a kid, but he also advanced the design further by inverting the LaSalle grille and creating his own take on the (at the time) nearly extinct genre. When the mono-chromatic look of the ’90s arrived, Posies took another route and started slicing his scallops horizontally on a 1938 Ford convertible and using multiple contrasting colors to make a statement.

Into the new millennium Posies charged forward with a stretched 1935 Ford roadster called the Aeroliner followed by the Fleetliner, which applied more of his style to a 1947 Chevy Fleetline sedan. Of late Posies has been influenced by the styling’s found in some Rat Rods, but all of his cars are drivers and built to be safely driven down the road. More recently he debuted a 1971 E-type Jaguar with flattened black paint and outfitted it with a 383 Chevy engine, driving it across the country to the SEMA Show in Las Vegas.

At Amelia Island event this year, the special show class highlighted eight cars he’d built that covered a wide stretch of Posies’ history. On one end was the multicolored 1937 coupe with its 7-inch chop and badass blown 427 poking out of the hood. Owned by John Bolkema of Mahwah, New Jersey, the coupe sounds a lot like a funny car pulling up to the starting line when it’s driving down the street.

Next to it was the 1937 International pickup owned by Arnold Gervasio of Ringoes, New Jersey. Unless you know International trucks, you might think it was a nicely restored pickup, but the bed was shortened, rear fenders widened, new bead lines were added to the bottom of the fenders and bed sides, and the bumpers were split in two.

Beside the truck was Joe Mastrangelo’s 1937 Ford convertible (dubbed Flower Child) from Carmel, New York. Built in 1983, the paint on the car was split horizontally (black on top, red underneath) in a style that was not commonly seen on hot rods of the time, but soon would be. The chopped roof was fixed and, though uncommon for the time, the vehicle featured shaved door handles and hinges.

Back in 1997 Posies was the first person to receive the newly-stamped steel 1932 Ford roadster manufactured by Brookville Roadsters. The renamed Phunkie 1932 was powered by a Ford 302 and utilized a set of Posies Super-Slider springs along with subtle changes to the taillights and fuel door.

A 1936 Ford four-door phaeton also got the Posies treatment when a second cowl section was added behind the forward bench seat, to which Posies constructed a second set of wind wings, all outfitted with black chrome hardware; the same finish used throughout the rest of the black-on-black vehicle. Trim pieces found on the hood sides were extended down the side of the body, and Posies designed the unique five-spoke road wheels.

As outrageous as some people find Posies cars to be, most of them have subtle styling cues (but a lot of them). The Orange Crisp (the name derived from the PPG paint color) 1955 Ford long roof Ranch Wagon incorporated a 1958 Edsel roof skin, dual Crown Vic side trim, and extended headlight brows. Always up for more power in his rides, Posies added a Roush supercharged Coyote engine. Built in the late ’90s, Posies still owns this vehicle.

You can see a mix of rat rod and high tech in Scott Whitaker’s five-window 1929 ThunderRoad pickup, but you may not realize the body was originally a Tudor sedan. The truck bed was fab’d at Posies out of aluminum, and the body was chopped and channeled over a unique tubular chassis.

At the other end of the row might be Posies crowning achievement: the 1937 Studebaker custom Extremeliner, built at the end of the last century. Influenced by 30s-era Cords and the overly-exaggerated roundness of Lincoln Zephyrs (as well as Andre Dubonnet’s Hispano-Suiza “Xenia” coupe from 1937) the Extremeliner utilized a one-off tubular chassis (a rarity in 1994, when work on the car started), a fabricated steel body (with aluminum hood and fender skirts), and fiberglass body panels that were initially made of wood but cast in fiberglass and woodgrain. A Corvette LT1 engine resides under the hood, there is heavy use of wicker for the interior, and the car was painted Luminescence Gold Razzleberry; the first time that color had ever been used on a car.

All of Posies creations pull and tug body panels every which way, squishing them down or exaggerating them as he see fits, just like some of those action painters of the ’60s-era wildly splashed paint onto their canvas to create the vision they saw only in their minds eye. But Posies has always been able to make a statement while delivering the goods. Kinda different? Hell yes! But then again this particular Posies has never been a wall flower. SRM

    The post 24th Amelia Island Concours & A POSIES Retrospective appeared first on Hot Rod Network.

from Hot Rod Network https://www.hotrod.com/articles/24th-amelia-island-concours-posies-retrospective/ via IFTTT

[arzani-fuchsia]

I’ve been tagged by @flintvane​, thank you <3

RULES: Answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

Tagging: @alightabovethearbys​ @ryuutales​ @rowanofferelden​ @myladyday​ @medusinestories​

THE LAST

1. Drink: water

2. Phone call: with a friend of mine I haven’t talked to in ages. I think we phoned for almost two hours

3. Text message: if What’s app count, my best friend

4. Song you listened to: thanks to @medusinestories​ Scarborough’s fair

5. Time you cried: just a few tiny tears at Grey’s anatomy, because I can’t watch people die

6. Dated someone twice: never? me and relationships are practically not happening

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: years ago. Not that it made the thing any better, but it’s in the past.

9. Lost someone special: my grandparents

8. Been cheated on: without a relationship this can’t happen

10. Been depressed: as in a mental illness? Never. Just depressed? Probably somewhere along the lines of not getting something done on my bachelor thesis

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Never

3 FAVOURITE COLOURS

12. blue

13. purple

14. red

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. Made new friends: yes

16. Fallen out of love: without falling in love, I guess you also can’t fall out of it

17. Laughed until you cried: I can’t remember but I hope so ^^

18. Found out someone was talking about you: I a gossiping way? I don’t think so, at least not that I’m aware of it.

19. Met someone who changed you: As I believe human beings constantly change in a very subtle way, because they learn and grow, I’d say yes, but not in a very drastical way.

20. Found out who your friends are: I’m glad to know that since some years now. I love my friends, I will forever cherish them

21. Kissed someone on your facebook list: nope. No kisses for me sadly.

GENERAL

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them.

23. Do you have any pets: Nope

24. Do you want to change your name: No. I quite like my name, even though english speaking people have some problems pronouncing it, somehow xD

25. What did you do for your last birthday: I went to university and then had some friends over for something to eat and drink.

26. What time did you wake up: Today? 7am (got out of bed at 10am xD)

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Watching Grey’s anatomy and chatting with @alightabovethearbys, trying to make her go to bed xD

28. Name something you can’t wait for: being done with my bachelor thesis and fly to New Zealand.

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Some minutes ago.

31. What are you listening to right now: Anna Netrebko, because my parents aree watching her on TV xD

32. Have you ever talked to a person named tom: I think I have, but it’s a blur xD

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my dad not turning the volume down when he watches some stupid videos on facebook -.-

34. Most visited website: probably this one (so tumblr) and ao3. Oh and flight rising

35. Hair colour: brown

36. Long or short hair: it gets longer and longer. 

37. Do you have a crush on someone: Does it have to be a person I know in real life or can I say Luke Arnold? ^^

38. What do you like about yourself: That I always stand up and that I love to be alive.

39. Want any piercings: no

40. Blood type: B+

41. Nickname: none

42. Relationship status: Single

43. Zodiac: aries

44. Pronouns: She/her

45. Favourite tv show(s): Black Sails, the good place, this is us, 

46. Tattoos: yes, one on my shoulder blade. It’s a fushia flower

47. Right or left handed: right handed

48. Surgery: only when I was a small child.

49. Piercing: I’m sure earings don’t count, so no

50. Sport: Swimming, volleyball (used to play, don’t manage now anymore)

51. Vacation: I can’t wait to get to New Zealand. The last one was Crete though

52. Pair of trainers: eeeehm? No idea

MORE GENERAL

53. Eating: very regularly. Did cook today even ^^

54. Drinking: Water mostly, sometimes juice, too.

55. I’m about to: finish this thin and head to bed

56. Waiting for: better weather xD

57. Want: to sleep properly tonight

58. Get married: I want to but I’m not sure it’s ever going to happen.

59. Career: YES :)

WHICH IS BETTER

60. Hugs or kisses: hugs (mostly because they’re more likely)

61. Lips or eyes: I tend to look at the eyes first

62. Shorter or taller: Taller, because I am tall myself

63. Older or younger: Older, but not too old.

64. Nice arms or nice stomach: Nice stomach. 

65. Hook up or relationship: Relationship. I don’t like hook ups and I adore stable relationships.

66. Troublemaker or hesitant: rather hesitant than a troublemaker but mostly just boringly normal

HAVE YOU EVER

67. Kissed a stranger: Yes. Kinda. I only knew him from that day.

68. Drank hard liquor: Yes.

69. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Yes, contact lenses, once during a training session.

70. Turned someone down: in what way? In a bar or so yes. someone who asked for a relationship? Welp, no one ever really asked that.

71. Sex on the first date: No.

72. Broken someone’s heart: I don’t know. If I did, I’m sorry, but I don’t know about it.

73. Had your heart broken: Yes

74. Been arrested: No

75. Cried when someone died: Yes. I even cry when people die in TV, so yes. Yes.

76. Fallen for a friend: Yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

77. Yourself: Yes. :)

78. Miracles: Yes

79. Love at first sight: No

80. Santa Claus: I did when I was a child. Now obviously not anymore

81. Kiss on the first date: It depends I guess. If everything is really going well, why not.

82. Angels: Yes.

OTHER

83. Current best friend’s name: Amelie

84. Eye colour: Brown

85. Favorite movie: I’m not that much into movies. I have I few I like but not really a favourite one.