#like a mantra. as if to remind myself to make this as a post. i need something to do

[olderthannetfic]

I'm so glad that nobody in my native language pulls the "write for yourself! don't want comments, feedback, hits, bookmarks, or interaction!" thing. In English language fandoms it's apparently a big character flaw or a sign of immaturity to want someone to read what you wrote. Meanwhile in my fandoms we're all completely honest about the fact that... yeah. If you post it, you would like someone to read it. Otherwise, you wouldn't post it in the first place. And there's never this competition to be the least interested in what other people think that USAmericans feel the need to do. Irony poisoning isn't much of a problem in our country so you can outright say, "It makes me happy when someone comments." You're allowed to be proud of your work and think it's worthy of being looked at.

Idk, I'm sure it's cultural. Pride is a sin in Christianity and the US is very Christian. But it sounds rough. I don't think I'd enjoy having to constantly tell people how much I don't care what others think and how I don't care if anyone reads my work. It sounds so insincere to me. I doubt it's much fun to constantly have to act unenthused in order to seem cool. And it's definitely an act. People who actually believe something don't have to chant it like a mantra at every opportunity.

A part of me is honestly really sad for people who get this angry backlash whenever they want interaction with their works. Fandom may not be a social hobby in the US. It's more mainstream, so it's not the same as it is here. But I love gushing about comments. I love replying to comments. I smile when I see something of mine that I worked hard on has been thoroughly bookmarked and loved. My friends feel the same. We gush at each other about comments and responses. We don't have to act indifferent and uninterested and go, "I don't care if I get comments, I write for myself" at others so they know we're indifferent and uninterested and write for the 'right' reason. I feel sorry for writers in the US. Imagine being sad no one likes what you've made and the response is that not only are your feelings wrong, your very intentions as the writer must secretly have been to seek validation and praise and fame, otherwise you wouldn't admit to liking comments.

Whenever I see a post going "I write for myself but I wish people commented" it kind of reminds me of US cosplayers. They slather their pictures over every social media platform on Earth. They clearly would like recognition for their work. But they have to start any complaints with the disclaimer, "I cosplay because I love the character, but-" so everyone knows their intentions are pure and so are their actions. There's a level of nervousness, of 'what will people think that I think if I don't use a disclaimer?' that looks miserable to live with.

--

You know, I'm getting awfully tired of you puling infants repeatedly misinterpreting "write for yourself".

As I said here quite recently, it's standard writing advice from outside of fandom. It means that you should make aesthetic decisions based on what you like rather than on a hypothetical audience.

The observation underlying this stock advice is that writers who write what they themselves think is good produce art that is more likely to hook an audience. Writers who are chasing after some audience whose taste they don't even share usually produce limp, uninspiring work.

Yes, there are some wackadoos who are like "I have no feelings! Community is a lie!" and think that makes them sound grown up. This isn't an American problem but an edgy (wish-they-still-were-a) teenager problem.

I dislike stats-chasing nonsense because it's a hallmark of the people who want to turn fandom into influencer garbage. I suggest people obsess less over stats because caring too much about the numbers tends to make people sad when they look at some juggernaut ship from the first peak in some fandom and then have unrealistic expectations. But finding community through fandom and liking to know other people enjoyed your work is commonplace everywhere.

[hwanchaesong]

omg i got a good idea for an ateez song imagine: like i can -sam smith.

idk who but alive you feel like could match the vibes best. im kinda thinking yunho or seonghwa but they could be so different like shsbvsjsnd ily

a/n: this is SO SO VERY LATE I APOLOGIZE. THIS HAS BEEN ON MY DRAFTS FOR TOO LONG. I HOPE YOU'LL STILL ENJOY IT THO. AGAIN, FORGIVE ME FOR POSTING THIS AFTER SO LONG 😭

also, let's make this a seonghwa x reader x yunho cuz y not

suggestive (kinda smutty) & angst, no fluff here. love triangle, and mentions of other sins are in here so read at your own risk. also mdni!

LIKE I CAN - SAM SMITH

Seonghwa's piercing gaze cuts through the plethora of people in the dance floor of the smoky club, straight onto your figure latched onto his nemesis.

Jeong fucking Yunho.

Out of all the other guys you can mess around with, you really had to go to the person he least expected.

Seems like you know how to play a game of terror.

He scoffs when he sees you giggle at the other man's whispered words, biting your lower lip when his hand drops on your exposed thighs, crawling higher until it had you closing your legs in a failed protest.

Oh, how he hates seeing you like this. Like you weren't chanting his name like a mantra a few days ago. Like you weren't panting for more in his sheets. Like he didn't carved your body to accommodate him and only him.

He smirked when he saw an opportunity to lock you in, watching you saunter towards the restroom, and he stood up himself, boldly following you in there.

You were minding your own business, not until someone rudely barged in, pinning you on the wall with their face dangerously close to yours.

"What the f-"

"Watch your words, babe."

You almost shrieked when the person that you don't wanna have an encounter with shows himself without any warning.

"Seonghwa?" you muttered his name, and the way you called him sent the blood rushing down in his member. He loved it whenever you sounded meek in his presence.

"Let me go. I don't have time for this shit." you said, voice firm and he was shocked at how confident you are.

Is this what that Yunho has been teaching you? After all his hard work in shaping you into his submissive baby girl. Oh, he has to remind you where you stand in here.

"I don't have time for your attitude, princess."

Seonghwa's hands went into your waist, pushing your lower half into his own while he sticks his leg in between your thighs, causing you to let out a small squeak when your clothed pussy rubbed against his jeans.

It sent you down the rabbit hole, back to zero when he's intoxicating you like this again.

How do you even escape from him?

Park Seonghwa, the guy that every girl wanted yet you had him as your trophy after a one night stand during a drunken stupor of his frat's party.

He was once a stranger that you glanced at, maybe once or twice, you couldn't remember but you do know that he made you laugh. He made you happy for a short while before giving you an entirely different kind of serotonin. One that you could acquire when the waves crash you into euphoria.

He showed you a world of situations that sailed on ships made of sands. Thus, it crumbles easily, making you seek a home made out of bricks, a shelter that winds cannot destroy.

Yet here he is, in all his glory, kissing you like there's no tomorrow.

"I thought you were better than this. Care to explain yourself princess, hm?" he mumbles against your bruised lips as he nibbles on it, his hands going over your breast to grope it rather harshly.

"I don't need to explain myself to you." you panted, clenched fists weakly punching his chest, but you both know that no matter what you do, his temptation would be difficult to resist.

You moaned when his mouth slid down to your neck, biting your sweet spot while his hand wandered onto your damp panties, circling your garment-clad clit, it had you thrashing around in his arms.

Seonghwa chuckled darkly, murmuring the exact words that had your knees buckling for him, "Oh my sweet, little princess. I think I have to remind you that no one can show you passion like I do."

---------------------------------------------------

You were quietly sitting on the bed, the television's volume nothing but white noises to you.

Then you slightly jumped on your spot when a splash of cold water dripped on your cheeks, "Ah!"

You glared at the perpetrator, fresh out of the shower.

"Yunho! You scared me!" you whined, making him chuckle at your adorable countenance.

"You are the one scaring me, actually. You're too silent. Is something bothering you?" he asks, concern lacing his voice as he sits beside you, landing a palm on your leg and tenderly massaging it, giving you a sense of solace.

Yunho really is something, you think.

With him, it feels like all your sins will be forgiven. A gentleman that could cleanse your soul, a once in a lifetime chance and you'd be a damn fool if you let him go.

But it does plague your mind, the way you let yourself be consumed by the demon when you already have yourself an honest man.

"It's nothing, it's just-" you began to speak, but you were astounded when he cut you off with a groundbreaking fact that's been eating you inside and out.

"Is it what happened in the party?"

You and that Park shithead Seonghwa, he thinks.

You looked at him, wide eyed and anxious but he only waved you off. Still, there's a mayhem of vibes that surrounds him, and you have no idea of what will happen next.

"Y/N, my love, you must take for an idiot no?" he sniggers, then halts to tilt your chin up and he leans onto you, the tip of his nose brushing yours.

He's another kind of poison, and a pattern seemed to click in your mind on what kind of men you are drawn to.

"Yunho, it's not like that." you tried defending yourself but he shushed you with a peck on the lips, his hands brushing your arms lightly until he reached your shoulders.

Goosebumps trailed on where he touched you, then he abruptly pushed you down the bed, eliciting a surprised gasp from you.

"Darling, it's okay." he reassures, positioning himself on top of you and discarding the towel around his waist. Droplets of water fell on you, soaking your shirt that he hoisted up, revealing your breasts to him, your nipples perking up at being exposed in cold air.

His warm hands explored your smooth skin while he inhaled your scent, smooching on the crook of your neck and his eyes squinted when he saw the remnants of Seonghwa's disgusting mark.

His fingers tickled your stomach, reaching for your tits and playing with your nipples, tugging on it and you felt yourself getting wet with his ministrations.

"Y-Yunho.." you mewled, arms wrapping around his broad shoulders.

He merely hummed before biting the same spot where Seonghwa soiled you, mumbling curses at the thought of that shitty fuck boy.

"It's okay," he repeats what he said a while ago, "because at the end of the day, you'll still come back to me. No one can show you heaven like I can."

He already has you, and in Yunho's perception, you are his. You belong to him, you belong with him.

Dwindling roads and outreached hands are presented to you, so, which one do you choose?

[ventique18]

- personal, a bit cheesy haha -

I haven't been feeling like myself lately.

"Draw for yourself" is the golden mantra of artists, but the fact is, you're not the only person in this world. There are many people who pass by and watch you, appreciate you, look forward to the new things you'll come up with. Your own satisfaction might be what weighs the most, but I believe that the one, two people who smile and cry and share the emotions you put into your work are just as important because it reminds you that you're not alone in this world. You never are.

So for those people who look forward to seeing what I do, thanks for feeling what I feel whenever I write or draw. Seriously, I consider every interaction I get as a little "I appreciate you" from every individual. Time is precious, after all, and I feel as though I was given a small piece of someone's life with every second they spend laughing or crying or just being emotionally connected with me through the thoughts I write down or draw.

I'm really not myself lately. I haven't been doing what I usually do. And I want to apologize to those people who look forward to what I do and to myself, not because I think I owe people, but because I know I'm not doing what I want to do. I want to draw. I want to put my thoughts into words. But I just. Can't. And it feels like with every movement I'm carrying the weight of the world with me.

So dramatic. But I just wanted to write down my turbulent thoughts. I want to apologize because that's one way of wholly admitting that there is something wrong, and that I want to make it right. So I'll draw a little everyday-- I won't be posting everyday, but I will draw a little and hopefully finish nice things eventually. I'm thinking of going back to comic making, but instead of my usual 4 panel comedy, I'll be making multiple short story pages. It'll take longer, but I think this type of improvement is exactly what I need to be proud of myself again.

To my burnout homies, I believe this is the enemy of mankind itself LOL. A man without passion is a dead man. So I'm going to do my best to reignite myself and be myself again.

[thebrainrotsreal]

Idk if you’re still doing the Invincible AU with Wasp, but how does Wasp feel about Debbie? Does he care about her? Love her? Hate her? ( I randomly thought about him since the Invincible War ep and got curious )

I am! Debating what to draw for him rn, incidentally, might re-do a previous peace. And Wasp, unless I’m contradicting myself lol, can’t stand her. She makes him sooo uncomfortable.

Specifically, ‘cause I found a VERY long post where me and @/byfulcrums went back and forth: Wasp is completed unsettled by seeing Debbie alive again. Avoids Oliver. He can't stand how human and familial they are, avoids them like a plague while acting repulsed by their very existence. Internally, he’s scared of confronting the taste of regret, guilt, or even caring about them, because that’s pathetic in his eyes. Both Wasp and Mark are trying to make each other LIKE them, because they see the other as the worst possible version of themselves. By proxy, caring about them is weakness. Liking their company is weakness. Being anything but mocking, apathetic, or disgusted is weakness. He’s a Vitrumite, and Nolan’s son, carrying his bloody legacy, one body at a time. He could kill her again, and he repeats to himself like a gentle prayer, a soft lullaby. I could kill you, a soothing mantra to remind himself he is still strong.

Wasp doesn’t even wanna think about his own Debbie in his dimension. Seeing her face again, knowing he could be weakened like the loser that shares his face, is a casual nightmare. He’d antagonize Mark happily though, knowing threatening her riles him up so bad he’d actually get violent like Wasp. Mark’s violence is comforting to him.

TY FOR THE ASK :D 

[wei-ying-kexing-apologist]

Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus

For those of you who don’t know, I decided to run the gauntlet of @bengiyo’s queer cinema syllabus, which is comprised of 9 units. I have completed four of the units (here is my queer cinema syllabus round up post with all the films I’ve watched and written about so far). It is time for me to make my way through Unit 5- Lesbians, which includes the following films: The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love (1995), Bound (1996), Water Lilies (2007), Saving Face (2004), D.E.B.S. (2004), The Watermelon Woman (1996), Set It Off (1996), The Handmaiden (2016), Carol (2015), Imagine Me and You (2005), Two of Us (2019), Rafiki (2018), and The Color Purple (1985).

Today I will be watching:

The Color Purple (1985) dir. Stephen Spielberg

[Run Time: 2h 34m, Language: English]

Summary: A tale spanning forty years in the life of Celie, an African-American woman living in the South who survives incredible abuse and bigotry.

Cast:

Whoopi Goldberg as Celie

Oprah Winfrey as Sofia

Danny Glover as Mister (aka Albert)

Margaret Avery as Shug

FIRST OF ALL, AN APOLOGY TO THE LESBIANS. PLEASE KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU AND THAT I AM SORRY THAT IT TOOK ME EIGHT MONTHS TO GET THROUGH TEN FILMS. 

Secondly, I was really excited to get to this film because I have actually seen it before, but not for a long time and I watched the movie musical when it came out a few years back which meant that I was setting myself up nicely for an adaptations project. 

So, before I started this film, I decided to read the book, that way I could spend some time actively comparing the different iterations of this beautiful story. So I’m going to talk about some of the things I noticed: 

Love for the Source Material 

I think there is always a risk when you take a novel and try to turn it in to something else. There are plenty of instances where the original story is torn to shreds, completely ignored, rearranged to the point of being unidentifiable, or otherwise disrespected. That is absolutely NOT the case here. When I was reading the book, I got to the letter Celie wrote about Sofia coming to confront her after Harpo beat her and saw some lines that were directly turned in to lyrics in the song ‘Hell No’ that Sofia sings in the musical. 

Which caused me to actually go back through the book for a time to try and see what other lines from the book may have made it in to the songs. And there were a few, for example: 

Some more indirect references: 

Shug’s song “Push Da Button” in the book does not have any lyrics that match dialogue in the book, however the song itself is a direct reference to a conversation Shug and Celie have regarding Celie’s “button” (clit) and learn how to masturbate. 

Sofia’s song “Hell No” is a direct reference to Sofia’s mantra of “Hell no” 

Celie’s song “Dear God” is a direct reference to Celie’s letters since she starts almost all of them with “Dear God”

Celie’s song “I’m Here” is a direct reference to the line “I’m poor, I’m black, and I may even be ugly, but I’m here” 

The song “A Tree Named Sofia” is potentially a more subtle reference, but the book itself has a recurring theme of making yourself in to a tree

Some almost word for word lyrics that reference the book:

From the song “She Be Mine”: “I sews "Olivia" on her didies / Lil' stars and flowers too“ is taken from the line “I embroder Olivia in the seat of all her daidies. I embrody lot of little stars and flowers too.” 

From the song “Dear God (Shug)”: “I wash her body and it feel like I'm prayin'” is taken from the line “I wash her body, it feel like I’m praying”

From the song “Hell No”: “I feel sorry for you, to tell you the truth / You remind me of my mama / Under your husband's thumb, nah / You under your husband's foot” is taken from the line “To tell the truth, you remind me of my mama. She under my daddy thumb. Naw, she under my daddy foot”

And there are more, but perhaps the one I find the most interesting is actually the lyrics from “Hell No” because it appears in the book, the musical, and the movie word for word and it is like the largest chunk of unedited text in all cases. Those lines being: 

“ All my life I had to fight. I had to fight my daddy. I had to fight my brothers. I had to fight my cousins and my uncles. A girl child ain’t safe in a family of men. But I never thought I’d have to fight in my own house.” [...] “But I’ll kill him dead before I let him beat me.”

While there are a couple other lines that appear in all three versions, it is not lost on me that these lines about having to fight men are the ones that show up all the time. 

And the film itself? Almost all of the dialogue is straight out of the book. (I’m not saying the musical doesn’t, btw I just haven’t watched the musical in awhile so I can’t make a definitive statement about it) I spent quite a bit of time highlighting parts of the book that fit the film dialogue. Here are two examples:  

My favorite part of watching this film through an adaptations lens is that it allowed me to discover just how much love, care, and respect for the story that Alice Walker told. 

Adaptation Additions

Violence

In some ways the book is more violent than the film, but not in all ways. One of the most jarring and painful changes from the book to the film is Nettie’s departure from Mister’s house. In the book, Celie references it in just a few lines. “He say one night in bed, Well, us done help Nettie all we can. Now she got to go. Where she gon go? I ast. I don’t care, he say. I tell Nettie the next morning. Stead of being mad, she glad to go. Say she hate to leave me is all. Us fall on each other neck when she say that.” but in the film? 1) we get a moment where Mister tries to rape Nettie, 2) when Nettie is kicked out of the house, both her and Celie are sobbing, clinging to each other as tight as they can and Mister physically separates them. 3) Mister keeps punching Nettie’s hands to try to get her to let go of a pole so that he can more easily throw her out 4) He physically carries Nettie out past the boundaries of his land, and she is fighting him the entire time. Like to the point where she falls out of his arms and collapses on the ground because she’s fighting so hard. 5) When he finally gets a better grip on Nettie and has her securely in his arms, Celie is clinging on to his ankles sobbing and being physically dragged along the ground. 

Similarly with Sofia, while Celie does mention that Sofia was dragged to the ground and beaten by police. That is all that we hear. In the film, she is knocked out via pistol whip so we avoid seeing any further of a physical beating. However we get two different acts of violence/violation against her 1) in the film she is verbally assaulted so we are hearing slurs being flung at her 2) when she collapses to the ground the wind picks up her skirt and her underwear is exposed. I’m not sure if that was even intentional but it was an added little detail that further solidified the violence she went through.  

Shug Backstory

Now, one of the most major benefits of adapting something in to a different medium is the room you have to give audiences a different view  of what is happening. The Color Purple by Alice Walker is told through letters from Celie to God and to Nettie and through letters from Nettie to Celie. There are no other perspectives in the book. What this means is that we do not have the ability to obtain deeper information about a character without Celie or Nettie specifically knowing/hearing about it. 

The place where I saw the biggest narrative change as a result of this is around Shug’s backstory. In the book, all we really know about Shug’s relationship with her parents is that she does not have much of one. We don’t know what her father does for work, we do not see Shug trying to get her Dad to engage in conversation with her, we do not see them repair their relationship at the end of the story, etc. 

But because this is a film, it is not required for us to stay in Celie and Nettie’s perspectives and thusly we get this whole side plot about Shug meeting up with her father who is a preacher. Which is an addition that I love because so much of this story is about the ways relationships shift and change over time, the ways people harm each other, and the ways they can find themselves back together again. And I do distinctly remember Shug being referenced as the peacher’s daughter in the musical, which means that while this piece of Shug’s backstory is not carried over from the book, the musical adaptation carries on that canon for Shug. 

Other smaller additions that I think are fun when it comes to the film: 

Just the visual cues for things. My favorite being the cut to the men building the railroad in Georgia happening at the same time that we get Nettie’s voiceover about the road being built through the Olinka village. 

The way some of the motifs change. In the book, one of the recurring themes is being turned to wood/being a tree (“I make myself wood. I say to myself, Celie, you a tree. That’s how come I know trees fear man”). But the recurring motif in the film is shadows being cast. 

SEEING! CELIE! SMILE!

Diminished Themes

Okay that said, obviously the run time of a movie or a musical will often be much different from the time a person can spend with a book. As such there are some plot points that are cut or changed, and while there are some that I think make sense, there are others that I do feel diminished the story. 

Some changes that I think were good from a run time stand point:

Cutting Shug’s additional romance with the 19 year old was something I do think was a good decision. 

Cutting the part where Celie thinks Nettie is dead (again) after getting a telegram saying that ship Nettie and the children were on sank in the Atlantic

Harpo eating so so much

Sofia having to deal with Eleanor Jane

Some changes that I feel neutral about:

There was much less emphasis on Nettie’s time in Africa and therefore there was not really a point in the film where the audience or the characters was having to grapple with the complexities of being a Black American in Africa. I can totally see why they would cut this section for time, I don’t think it is necessary for the fundamental story, but it definitely was a recurring theme throughout the book. Just something to note if anyone is thinking about reading the book or watching the film…or both. 

Some changes that I think harmed the overarching themes: 

Less lesbianism between Celie and Shug. I assume this was a film that needed to be careful in its portrayals of queerness. And while I am glad that Shug is still such an important factor in Celie’s life, I think minimizing the time they spent interacting when they were living with Albert and also after they leave does detract a lot from both the strength and complexity of their relationship and also the emphasis of The Color Purple being a fundamentally queer story. 

Celie’s pants only coming up right at the end. It was a super important detail for me that Shug taught Celie how to sew pants and how much pants are a symbol of freedom and independence for Celie and the fact that she spends so much of her time when she’s living with Shug just nonstop sewing pants. 

Most Importantly: I am not super thrilled with the way they handled Albert’s redemption in the film compared to the book. While I do like that the film keeps the overall theme of reparations between people, I wish we’d had more of the change in Albert. (Though I will say the ending we get for Albert in the movie does map better to the change in how Albert handles removing Nettie from the house in the film). I have a lot of thoughts on this so bare with me:

Albert

OKAY SO! Before Celie leaves, she curses Albert, and in the film we really only see Albert looking rough, in the movie musical it gets even worse for him, and in the book, we only hear about the hard times Albert went through after they have already passed. While I do think it is more fun to have the visual of all the ways Albert suffered for what he did to Celie. It was so incredibly important to me that in the book Albert truly turns his entire life around. 

I loved that the thing that got Harpo and Sofia back together after like decades separated was Sofia seeing the way Harpo started to care for his father when Albert was in the deepest pits of his suffering. 

And I loved that in the book, when Celie and Albert start interacting again he truly has changed, changed for the better, and is a much more secure and happy man than he ever was before. Like I think this is one of the most beautiful things I ever read:

“After all the evil he done I know you wonder why I don’t hate him. I don’t hate him for two reasons. One, he love Shug. And two, Shug use to love him. Plus, look like he trying to make something out of himself. I don’t mean just that he work and he clean up after himself and he appreciate some of the things God was playful enough to make. I mean when you talk to him now he really listen, and one time, out of nowhere in the conversation us was having, he said Celie, I’m satisfied this the first time I ever lived on Earth as a natural man. It feel like a new experience. [...] When I was growing up, he said, I use to try to sew along with mama cause that’s what she was always doing. But everybody laughed at me. But you know, I liked it. Well, nobody gon laugh at you now, I said. Here, help me stitch in these pockets [...] “Then he say something that really surprise me cause it so thoughtful and common sense. When it come to what folks do together with they bodies, he say, anybody’s guess is as good as mine. But when you talk bout love I don’t have to guess. I have love and I have been love. And I thank God he let me gain understanding enough to know love can’t be halted just cause some peoples moan and groan. It don’t surprise me you love Shug Avery, he say. I have love Shug Avery all my life. What load of bricks fell on you? I ast. No bricks, he say. Just experience. You know, everybody bound to git some of that sooner or later. All they have to do is stay alive. And I start to git mine real heavy long about the time I told Shug it was true that I beat you cause you was you and not her. I told her, I say. I know it, he say, and I don’t blame you. [...] …Near bout to broke my sorry heart. If you know your heart sorry, I say, that mean it not quite as spoilt as you think. Anyhow, he say, you know how it is. You ask yourself one question, it lead to fifteen. I start to wonder why us need love. Why us suffer. Why us black. Why us men and women. Where do children really come from. It didn’t take long to realize I didn’t hardly know nothing. And that if you ast yourself why you black or a man or a woman or a bush it don’t mean nothing if you don’t ask why you here, period. So what you think? I ask. I think us here to wonder, myself. To wonder. To ask. And that in wondering bout the big things and asking bout the big things, you learn about the little ones, almost by accident. But you never know nothing more about the big things than you start out with. The more I wonder, he say, the more I love. And people start to love you back, I bet, I say.”

Genuinely, I think it is such a kind thing for Alice Walker to have done. Like I think there is a lot that can be said for misogyny, and patriarchy, and cycles of abuse and poverty, and the way that people are pressured by the people around them to conform in certain ways. Celie was abused for the vast majority of her life, and she told Harpo to beat Sofia. I am really glad that she leaned so much in to accountability and repairing of harm. Not only that, but he asks Celie if she was in love with Shug, ends up being understanding of her queerness, he helps Celie with her business, and they become like genuine friends.

In the film (and I think the musical too) the way that Albert does right by Celie is to pay the money that is needed to get Nettie and Celie’s children the documents they need to immigrate back to the United States thus fostering the reunion between Nettie and Celie after decades apart. And don’t get me wrong, that is an important thing for him to do. Because he is the biggest reason they had no communication between them for so long. But I just personally do not feel it is as strong of a message about how it is never too late for anyone (never too late to be reunited, never too late to be free, never too late to laugh, to hug the children you never thought you’d get to meet, never too late to love) to just have this secret grand gesture. 

Okay that was a lot, sorry! If you are still with me let’s get on to the rest. 

Favorite Scene

Favorite scene in the film is far and away the scene where Shug holds Celie’s hands down so she cannot cover her face and we get to see Celie’s huge and beautiful smile. There is so much love and care in that moment, and it is the first time that anyone really calls Celie beautiful and god it’s just…AHHH

Favorite Quote

“I’m poor, black, I may even be ugly, but Dear God I’m here! I’m here!”

Maybe it's just because I'm Here is my favorite song in the musical, maybe it's just because to be alive is ultimately such a miraculous thing.

Final Score

9/10

THIS WAS EGOT WINNER WHOOPI GOLDBERG’S FIRST FILM!!! AND SHE FUCKING CRUSHED IT. SHE WAS NOMINATED FOR AN OSCAR AND WON A GOLDEN GLOBE AND THEN WAS ONE OF THE BUSIEST FEMALE STARS BETWEEN THE YEARS OF 1985-1988. WHY? BECAUSE SHE MADE ***SEVEN*** FILMS

And with that, Unit 5 is done and it is on to Unit 6: Gems! See ya later!

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

Warning: Long rambling personal post about grief ahead, skip if that's not your jam.

So I don’t know where I’m going with this but for some reason I’ve been thinking about grief and the ways in which it changes you, and how the different ways in which you experience it can just absolutely change your entire life.

Like, the other day I felt like listening to a band, and it reminded me of a family member who passed away when I was in high school. It was their favourite band, and like— I can’t hear that band without thinking of them, even though I’ve lived much more of my life without them than I did with them. There’s one song I can’t listen to at all anymore because it makes me well up still. It’s those little ways people leave their mark on you, long after they’re gone.

And I’ve been thinking about how in this case, that loss was one of the defining before/after moments in my life. I hadn’t experienced much loss in my life “except” elderly loved ones, whose deaths I know impacted their loved ones, yet there was still this sort of disconnect. This death by contrast, in its suddenness and unfairness and violence, is probably the defining moment of my teenage years.

It wasn't just grappling with the idea that this person I loved, who was more or less my contemporary (at the time they seemed impossibly older, now I know how short the years between us really were), who was indelibly linked with a specific time and place, was gone. How one twist of fate completely tore apart their immediate family, and everyone else along with it. How they left a hole in the family that could never, ever be replaced, and to this day their presence is felt in both wonderful and awful ways. In one fell swoop, this death not only changed an entire family, but a whole community, and has had ripple effects to this day.

It's that it very literally changed my world view. I'd always been someone who was skeptical of like, religion and ~higher powers~ and whatnot, in spite of the fact that I grew up in church and come from a long line of devout family members in different ways. But this singular moment was the one that absolutely tore any shred of faith I may have had. The way people at church would follow "I'm sorry for your loss" with "at least they're in a better place" or "it must have been God's plan" and that made me want to fucking SCREAM. No, this wasn't God's plan, this was a horrific moment of circumstance that should not have happened but did, and someone was taken away who should not have been. In an instant, any modicum of "faith" I may have had evaporated, and nothing in a holy book and not a single platitude could give even an ounce of comfort. Instead, it made me angry as hell. How dare anyone try to explain this away? How dare anyone try to add meaning to this hole inside me and inside my loved ones?! All these words that were supposed to bring relief instead just made me livid at their hypocrisy.

And it's not only the tiny vestiges of that so-called faith that collapsed. It's also my faith in the world at large. Obviously I knew "here today, gone tomorrow" could happen to anyone, but suddenly I found myself in a world in which that was not just a mantra, but a fact. How was I supposed to just move in the world when this earth-shattering thing had happened to someone I loved? And had happened to me as a result? How was I supposed to exist in the same universe in which this person did not? Even if I only saw them once or twice a year, this was the first time that someone who *had always been there* suddenly was not. And there was no tangible thing to assign to this massive loss. Something somehow altered my brain chemistry forever, and I was just supposed to go to school and go to soccer and whatever the hell else and move on with my life.

And then I also felt guilt in some ways because like, I loved this person, but did I have the right to feel this unmoored about it? Their immediate family was going through the absolute pits of hell, parents who carried them and birthed them and raised them and loved them, siblings who shared their worlds so intimately intertwined their entire lives, friends who grew up side by side on the daily, teammates who shared wins and losses, and so on. In the degrees of separation, was I allowed to also feel this pain? To wallow in it? To be completely bedridden in grief? To be in shock for days? To feel like my entire life had changed in an instant? Somehow it seemed unfair of me, and yet I couldn't find any other way to be. There was a world before This happened, and now there was a world After it happened. And now that I was in the After part, the Before part just felt completely foreign. Like, that was someone I no longer was, because now I know about this part of myself I can never regain.

Not to bring it back to Taylor, but this is a Taylor blog, and mulling all this over again made me so thankful that she's put a voice to so many of these feelings in her music. Because grief isn't just sadness or depression, although it very much is that. It's shock, it's anger, it's unsettling, it's upending, it's life-altering, it's mundane, it's traumatic. It's feeling like you're never going to be the same and having to go make sandwiches for your lunch. It's feeling like your body is made of lead but you have to go finish that assignment. It's looking at the people around you in class or at the store and screaming in your head "how are you just doing that?!?! Like the universe hasn't shifted and is getting read to throw you off?!" It's setting the dinner table and knowing there's another person who's supposed to be there, or shopping for Christmas gifts and finding things for someone who only exists in your mind now.

When you suffer these kinds of losses or traumas, it fundamentally changes who you are and the ways in which you exist in the world, and perhaps in a specific kind of way when it's something so sudden and incongruous. It's like, you can get back to existing the way you always did on the outside, but on the inside, part of you will never be the same. And I think that's why so much of her music in these later years have struck such a nerve, and also feel so inherently Knowable with life experience. The way in which these shades of grief completely change your world, completely delineate your life, become points at which you irrevocably changed as a person for the rest of your days. One moment is all it takes to alter you at the very cellular level. And the ways in also completely dismantles the things in which you may or may not have believed in the Before times.

I remember the exact spot I was in when I was told the news. I remember the way I collapsed to the floor in complete shock. I remember my friend sitting with me for hours in silence in my childhood bedroom. I remember having to go shopping for dressy black clothes, because I didn't have anything to wear that would be funeral-appropriate. I'm still haunted by the look in the eyes of this loved one's sibling, going through the motions like everything was normal but something so unbelievably glassy behind them. I remember being completely adrift at the funeral until the moment the song came on, and I lost it. I remember coming home and a classmate asking me if I had a good vacation because I'd been away and I deadpanned "not particularly, I buried my family member so that was kind of a bummer." And so on and so forth. These are things that are never, ever going to leave me. They're just part of who I am and became after that day.

Anyway, I have no idea what brought any of this on-- it's something I haven't thought about in ages-- but while I don't really have any kind of faith or belief in anything ~higher~ maybe the universe was prompting me a little with the craving to listen to this band and excavate all of this. It's just curious how all these singular events end up making us who we are and changing the way we see ourselves and our world forever.

[haunteddonutalpaca]

I was gonna put this scene in a story with Slade, Talia, and Damian naming him. But damn, I am way in over my head. So, since it's a little too short for AO3 yet, I'm posting it here until I find the energy to continue.

The first time he said it out loud, the name felt like an armor that was too big for him to wear. Still, it was something, a shape he could fit into if he tried hard enough.

Specimen 8 stared at his reflection, his pale green eyes searching for something—anything—that felt real.

“I’ll call myself Respawn.”

His body was aching, bruised and battered from the violent process of being brought back to life. The aftershocks of his revival made his head pound with memories—disjointed, jagged fragments of battles fought and lost, accompanied by the grim, finality of death that never quite loosened its grip on him.

He wasn’t supposed to exist. That much was clear. The first thing they told him when he woke up was that he was a failure. Not in so many words, but he understood it well enough from the hushed whispers of the scientists and the way they avoided his gaze.

“He’s unstable.”

“A flawed clone.”

“A backup experiment at best.”

And yet, every time he died, his body rebelled against the very idea of staying dead. His heartbeat would stutter back to life. His lungs would drag in air. Over and over again, he clawed his way out of the darkness, refusing to give them the satisfaction of calling him finished.

The scientists hated it. He could see it in their tired faces and hear it in their clipped voices when they checked his vitals.

“I die, and I come back. I survive.”

The words came out rough, like a jagged edge scraping against something soft. His voice felt strange in his throat, unused for weeks, but it was still his.

He reached up to touch the shallow scar running across his cheek—a reminder of his most recent failure. They’d thrown him into a fight with someone bigger, stronger, more experienced. He’d lost. Again. But even as he lay crumpled on the ground, blood pooling in his mouth, he’d refused to stay down.

They could break his bones. They could tear his body apart. But they couldn’t make him stop coming back.

He staggered to his feet, his breath coming in ragged gasps. He stared at his reflection in the cracked mirror, his fists clenching at his sides. He wasn’t Specimen 8, wasn't just another failed clone of Damian Wayne. He was alive. He was here.

He dragged a hand through his disheveled hair, as if to steady himself. Bruises marred his skin, fresh scars overlapped old ones, and yet there he stood. Still breathing. Still fighting.

“So call me Respawn.”

It didn’t matter that the facility wasn’t a place for names. It didn’t matter that no mother had cradled him, or that no father had taught him who he was. It was a name born out of spite. A name that was just as fractured as the memories that clawed at the edges of his mind.

And as he returned to his cell that night, he repeated the name to himself like a mantra.

Respawn. Respawn. Respawn.

It wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t poetic. But it was his. And from that moment on, Specimen 8 ceased to exist.

[nsfwitchy2]

I’m exhausted as fuck rn so I probably won’t respond to a lot of this stuff tonight, maybe tomorrow even depending on how I feel

But I do wanna say thank you to everyone who sent me nice asks and DMs lately 💞💞

I have literally spent the last two days like, “Everything happens for a reason, everything happens for a reason, everything happens for a reason-“ just as a mantra to keep myself from going insane lmao

So it was nice going on lunch and seeing people sending me posts that remind them of me or fun asks

No hate or shame if you didn’t do any of this, I didn’t ask anyone to, I just ended up feeling particularly shitty today and I got a random influx of nice messages and asks - so I wanted to let everyone who’s sent them lately know that I see them and I love them and they do genuinely make my day a little brighter even if I take ages to respond lol

[arsenalgbt]

for the anonymous opinion:

your fics are incredible, and the way you write is truly beautiful to witness. the way you give each player their own unique personality while also making them reminiscent of their actual selves is absolutely amazing.

as for you as a person, that's even better! you seem so genuinely sweet and funny, i love reading your tags on posts, and your ideas and takes are always so good!! it's a genuine pleasure to follow you, i love seeing you on my dash. i have notifs on too, lmao. thank you for being so cool!! have a great day 🫶🫶🫶

anon, you shall know the only excuse I am holding off answering to you is cuz everyday I read this like a mantra. today I feel great we vamos with 3 points and I'm ready to post this.

thank you.

the way you give each player their own unique personality while also making them reminiscent of their actual selves is absolutely amazing.

I pride myself of my characterisations takes on all of my fics THIS IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME. you get it. that's basically it. my fics revolve on how I interpret the players' unique personalities (as far as we can depict from interviews interactions etc lol) and fictionalised them into plots. we're all cursed with the misery of having to write what we want to read HAHAHA interacting with comments like this keep me going I swearrrrrrrrrrrrr

as for me as a person pls that's the least a man can do to unwind. let's gourrrrrrrrrrr thank you for having notifications on wtf I do like reading my tags again and again it's organised for my fic writing hehe.

YOU;RE A ROCKSTAR ANON I THANK YOU EVERYDAY. I will cherish this ask~ you ever have a bad day remember this post and hopefully you will be reminded that someone is super thankful and is always over the moon by youuuuuuuuuu 🫵🏻🫵🏻🫵🏻

[beck-a-leck]

🧿what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to?

For the writing ask meme. I'm always fascinated by people's definitions of "success" etc when it comes to fanfic (since mine is "I finished writing it")

Okay time to finally get around to answering this after working all weekend!

🧿what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to?

Okay this is a really complicated answer and I'm not sure if i quite have the words to put this the way I want, so a lot of things about this might sound contradictory and I'm definitely going to ramble. But considering feelings are complex and often contradictory, I suppose that's to be expected.

The tl;dr is: I write for myself. I know I can't control other people. I don't let other people dictate my happiness. Share with low to no expectations, always be pleasantly surprised.

I think first and foremost, to not take things personally, I have learned over the years and through much experience, to divorce my sense of self-worth and accomplishment and overall happiness with Other People's Opinions. It's long been a mantra of mine to not let other people dictate my happiness, and that most certainly includes sharing creative projects in online spaces.

It has been a long learning process, and something I still regularly have to remind myself of, to separate my joy/fun/accomplishment/pride/enthusiasm and all of the other wonderfully positive feelings of creating something from how Other People respond to it. That's not to say I never feel disappointment and even sadness when something I thought might do better doesn't get the response and reactions I want. When I catch myself thinking that way, I acknowledge the disappointment, but then I remind myself of what I personally got from working on whatever it was.

Things like: I had fun making it. I got to learn something new. I tried out a new ship or trope, or perhaps revisited a favorite. I set a goal and accomplished it. I got to get the ideas in my head out onto paper and shared with the world.

Most simply put: I wrote for myself, and I like the end product, and that is Good Enough. Everything that comes after (comments, kudos, hits, chatting with people about it, etc) is just bonus.

(With obvious exceptions for requests/gift exchanges) For me, writing, or any creative hobby, can be a very selfish endeavor, because I'm writing the stories I want to read. I'm writing stories for my own entertainment. And yes, as contradictory as it may seem, I'm sharing stories because I also want to see how other people respond to them. I'm sharing because I want to feel good, and engage in a fandom community, and get that every so lovely hit of dopamine every time I see someone has interacted with my thing. But I do so always with the awareness that I am my first and most important audience. Again, everyone else is just Bonus.

And when it comes to the actual sharing process of writing, I try to keep in mind that I cannot control anybody else. I can't make people read my fics, I can't make them give me kudos, I can't make them leave a comment, or bookmark my fic, or come to my tumblr and say nice things. And everybody has so many different ways of expressing their opinions for something, that I can't even guarantee something as simple as a Kudos means the same to me as it does to them.

(I don't think Empathy is the right word I'm looking for, but it's the only one coming to mind, so...) but I always try to engage any disappoint I might have with Empathy and Logic for whatever idea of a Reader who might come across my story I have in my head. I'm fully aware that my story (and literally every story ever told) is not going to be for everybody, and therefore, not every person who sees it is going to have a positive (or any) reaction to it. For any number of reasons, they looked at my story and said 'no this isn't for me' and I cannot be mad or disappointed about that because I do the exact same thing. They might even click onto the story, read a good portion of it or all of it, get to the end and say 'actually, I didn't like this' and move on. Or hell, maybe they did like the story, maybe they loved it, but they didn't have the time/internet connection/mental or emotional energy/courage to leave a comment or hit the kudos or make a bookmark and that's okay too. Again, I cannot say I have not done the same thing. (and I have a much longer, more rambling rant about Obligations in Fandom, but we won't get into that here)

I always try to keep in mind that no matter what, any interaction is still one real life human being who saw something I did, and I try to put that into perspective. A fic only having a dozen hits can be disappointing, but at the same time, that's twelve whole people I can imagine standing in front of me and reading something I wrote. Which is actually a lot of people!

And because you brought up the measure of success, which is what this question is sort of getting at without saying the word... I don't know, I guess I don't tend to apply ideas of Success to my hobbies. At least not in the way of "Either it is a Success or it's a Failure." Writing is my hobby, and my hobby is supposed to be fun, not something I do for a grade or in competition. So I don't really think of it in that way.

I think in some way it circles back to Writing for Myself.

There's a part of me that is very at peace with the knowledge that if I never shared any of my stories from this day onward, I would still be happy writing. My writing folder is chock full of half-written stories that I likely won't finish, or ideas I had that only got to being a few hundred words of disconnected scenes and bits of dialogue, and even some stories that are 90% done, but I lost interest in the project and never finished it. But I don't look at those incomplete stories as failures, or even just on a very slow road to success. They served whatever purpose I needed them for, when I had an idea buzzing around my head, someday I might go back and finish them up and share them, but it's just as likely that they'll stay as they are, with only me to look at them.

I try to remove any pressures for myself when it comes to writing, because that is how it works best for me. When things become too pressing and guilt-laden, they stop being fun, I begin to feel burnt out, and when I don't have fun writing, I just don't write. It's my hobby, it's supposed to be fun, and when it stops being fun, then I know it's time to take a break. And, for me personally, setting arbitrary rules or deadlines, and adding unnecessary pressure is one of the fastest ways to kill the fun.

[victoriesvibes2025]

How “Consistency Over Greatness” Changed My Life: The Journey of a Rock Fan

More Than Just a Quote

Words have the power to change lives. Sometimes, a single phrase can become the spark that ignites a transformation, the anchor that holds us steady in the storm, or the compass that points us toward our dreams. For me, that phrase was “Consistency over greatness,” a quote made famous by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and emblazoned on a Victories Vibes T-shirt I never expected to change my life.

My name is Alex, and I’ve been a die-hard fan of The Rock since his wrestling days. Like millions around the world, I’ve watched him transform from an underdog into a global icon-an actor, entrepreneur, and motivator. But it wasn’t until I started living by one of his most powerful mantras that I truly began to rewrite my own story.

Stuck in the Cycle of “All or Nothing”

For most of my twenties, I was trapped in a cycle of chasing greatness and burning out. I’d start new projects, fitness routines, or business ideas with a burst of energy, only to lose steam when things got tough or progress seemed slow. I was always waiting for the “big break”-the moment when everything would click and I’d finally be successful.

But that moment never came. Instead, I found myself frustrated, comparing my behind-the-scenes struggles to the highlight reels of people I admired, especially celebrities like The Rock. I wondered, “What do they have that I don’t?” Was it talent? Luck? Destiny?

The truth was simpler-and much more empowering-than I realized.

Discovering the Power of Consistency

One day, while scrolling through motivational posts on social media, I came across a Victories Vibes T-shirt featuring The Rock’s quote: “Consistency over greatness.” Something about those words hit me differently. It wasn’t about being the best, the fastest, or the most talented. It was about showing up, day after day, and putting in the work, even when no one was watching.

I ordered the shirt on a whim, thinking it would be a cool addition to my collection of fan gear. But when it arrived, I felt something shift. The bold lettering reminded me of The Rock’s journey-how he’d faced setbacks, injuries, and failures, yet always got back up and kept moving forward.

I decided to make “Consistency over greatness” my new mantra. I wore the shirt on my morning runs, to the gym, and even while working from home. Every time I caught a glimpse of it in the mirror, I remembered that greatness isn’t a single moment-it’s the sum of small, consistent actions over time.

The Science Behind the Words

It turns out, there’s real science behind why motivational quotes can have such a profound impact. According to research on neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to rewire itself, the words we repeat and surround ourselves with shape our thoughts, beliefs, and actions. Positive affirmations activate the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for decision-making and goal-setting. When we internalize empowering messages, we’re more likely to take action and persist through challenges.

Wearing my Victories Vibes T-shirt became more than a fashion statement-it was a daily affirmation. It helped me reframe setbacks as part of the process, not signs of failure. Instead of giving up when progress was slow, I focused on showing up, trusting that consistency would lead to results.

Small Steps, Big Changes

With my new mindset, I started making small, sustainable changes in my life. Instead of setting unrealistic goals, I broke them down into daily habits. I committed to working out for just 20 minutes a day, rather than aiming for an hour-long session I’d inevitably skip. I set aside 10 minutes each morning to journal and reflect on my progress. I even started meal prepping on Sundays to make healthy eating easier during the week.

At first, the changes were barely noticeable. But after a month, I realized I hadn’t missed a single workout. My energy levels were up, my mood was better, and I felt more in control of my life. The “all or nothing” mentality that had held me back for years was slowly being replaced by a quiet, steady confidence.

Facing Challenges with Resilience

Life didn’t magically become easier. There were still days when I felt tired, unmotivated, or discouraged. But every time I looked at my shirt, I remembered The Rock’s story-how he overcame injuries, setbacks, and doubters by showing up and putting in the work. I reminded myself that greatness isn’t about perfection; it’s about persistence.

One particularly tough week, I was swamped at work and tempted to skip my workouts. I almost fell back into old patterns, but then I saw the words on my shirt: “Consistency over greatness.” I laced up my sneakers and went for a quick jog, telling myself that even a little effort was better than none. That small act of consistency kept my momentum going and proved to myself that I could keep my promises, even when it was hard.

Inspiring Others and Creating a Ripple Effect

Something unexpected happened as I continued my journey. Friends and coworkers started noticing the changes in me-not just physically, but in my attitude and energy. They asked what I was doing differently, and I shared my story about the T-shirt and the power of consistency.

A few of them ordered their own Victories Vibes shirts, choosing quotes that resonated with their personal struggles. We started a group chat to encourage each other, share progress, and celebrate small wins. What began as a personal mantra became a movement-a ripple effect of positivity and resilience spreading through my circle.

Why “Consistency Over Greatness” Matters

The more I lived by this mantra, the more I realized how much pressure we put on ourselves to be “great.” Social media, pop culture, and even our own inner critics tell us that anything less than extraordinary is failure. But The Rock’s wisdom flips that narrative: greatness isn’t a destination; it’s a byproduct of showing up, doing the work, and refusing to quit.

Wearing the “Consistency over greatness” T-shirt is a daily reminder that I don’t have to be perfect-I just have to be present. It’s about progress, not perfection. It’s about building a life I’m proud of, one small step at a time.

The Victories Vibes Difference

What sets Victories Vibes apart isn’t just the quality of the apparel-it’s the mission behind every product. Each T-shirt is designed to be more than clothing; it’s a tool for empowerment, a wearable affirmation, and a conversation starter. When you wear a Victories Vibes shirt, you’re joining a community of people who believe in the power of words to shape their lives.

The brand’s commitment to spreading positivity and supporting fans on their journeys is what inspired me to share my story. I’ve seen firsthand how a single quote, worn close to the heart, can change the way you see yourself and the world.

How You Can Start Your Own Transformation

If you’re reading this and feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure where to start, I encourage you to find a mantra that speaks to you. Maybe it’s “Consistency over greatness,” or maybe it’s another quote that resonates with your journey. Write it down, say it out loud, and, if you’re ready to take it a step further, wear it proudly.

Here are a few tips to make the most of your motivational mantra:

Wear Your Inspiration: Choose a Victories Vibes T-shirt with a quote that empowers you. Let it be your daily reminder to keep going, no matter what.

Start Small: Focus on building consistent habits, even if they seem insignificant at first. Progress is made one step at a time.

Celebrate Wins: Acknowledge your efforts, no matter how small. Every act of consistency is a victory.

Share Your Journey: Inspire others by sharing your story. You never know who might need to hear your words.

Join the Community: Connect with others who are on a similar path. Support, encouragement, and accountability make all the difference.

One Quote, One Shirt, One Life Changed

Looking back, I never imagined that a T-shirt could be the catalyst for such profound change in my life. But “Consistency over greatness” isn’t just a phrase-it’s a way of living. It’s a reminder that greatness is built, brick by brick, through the choices we make every day.

If you’re ready to start your own journey, I invite you to join the Victories Vibes movement. Find your quote, wear it with pride, and let it guide you toward the life you’ve always wanted. Because sometimes, all it takes is a single word, worn close to your heart, to change everything.

Are you ready to choose consistency over greatness? Shop the Victories Vibes collection today and discover the power of wearing your inspiration. Your story starts now.

Ready to make your move? To get your own “Consistency over greatness” T-shirt and join a community of inspired achievers. One quote can change everything-let yours be the start of something extraordinary.

[hadtochangeuserbecauseimparanoid]

I don't need to feel like I'm sacrificing my free time by taking care of myself. I don't need to prefer playing stardew and rotting to making myself a delicious meal and taking a shower. My body IS ME TOO and it needs to be treated with the same love I want to show anyone I care for. It's why phrases like my body is my buddy sound so stupid to me. My body has issues but I still have to care for it to healthily survive. Same with my brain. But moreso, I have to take care of it because I am full of immense knowledge and drive for it, I'm an amazing gift giver because I understand my friends, I connect with babe so much because I understand him despite him being so different from me in so many ways. I love the kittens so much I clean their eyes daily. I feel so much guilt about things that they haunt my nightmares until I change. I'm not capable of lying so my friends trust me in a different level. I am so capable and worth existing because of the good I foster and I need to tell myself this, what babe does, more often.

God my brain is such a fucked up tangle of knots and I'm really sitting back looking at it in text form. This and the last post. I know exactly why I struggle to show others consistent love and connection; it's not just ocd, I struggle to show myself consistent love and connection, and if my periods of lacking such for myself look anything similar to when I lack such with friends or lovers.... I really look like I don't care. I've never had to use this much energy in this place this consistently truly. It's new and scary and I fall into my old habit autopilot often thinking nothing of it because consistency in love for myself is so new to me. I've been depressed for so long I'm scared I'll burn myself out so I haven't started consistently without feeling a pressure that looks like it's gonna topple me and make me self destruct or something. Idk if that'll even happen but I'm scared of it. I'm scared of becoming worse somehow by failing. I think I'm just so scared ill wake up and be unable to love myself and that'll be it.

I may need to do mantras. Reminders of the why. So I don't forget it's not a chore, it's a door

Self care isn't a chore, it's a door. A possible future tattoo idea

[maximuswolf]

Overcoming perfectionism: My journey as a musician writer and heart surgery survivor in accepting imperfections in myself and my creative process.

Overcoming perfectionism: My journey as a musician, writer, and heart surgery survivor in accepting imperfections in myself and my creative process. Evening Everyone!33 yr old Philly musician here. I recently started screaming into the void and opening up on my story on music and being a multiple heart surgery survivor... but this process of sharing then sent me into an 8 hour anxious spiral as I tried to make everything as perfect as possible and I realize now that this is my same pattern with releasing music.Why the hell is it so hard to let go of how our art will be perceived by others?How cruel life can be that I could be in the face of death, and yet I still couldnt come to terms with those imperfections. I wanted to recoil. I wanted to hide. Its always easier to give advice than to actually put it into action ourselves, and I felt like an imposter. I got so caught up in what the potential outcome of this could be that it removed the initial spark of creativity and passion that I had for this project in the first place.I could spend an entire year carefully writing, recording, mixing and producing a single song that I listen to endlessly with love on my own. But when it comes to sharing it with the world, I get so lost in wording it correctly on social platforms, and more than likely delete anything I share because I feel so bad about it. It takes me an entire day to write something on instagram. How I wish I could just post, drop, and walk away. These negative behaviors and patterns take away so much time and focus in my life.So what do we do with such a burden?“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know”— Pema ChodronIn my opinion, becoming aware is such a crucial first step. It’s what we choose to do with that awareness next that matters most.I woke up the next day feeling different. Wasnt a complete emotional 180, but I at least gave myself some time away from those toxic cyclical thoughts. I am reminding myself this is honesty. I am not perfect. I will never be perfect. I am still learning how to handle any of this and will continuously be a student. Even if I’m  pulling the slot machine handle in hopes I win the jackpot of validation that we are all programmed to desire in this culture, I will continue.So this is a blood pact to myself. A mantra. I am not sharing my music or my story because I’ve overcome all obstacles. I am sharing it because I am human, I accept my flaws, and this is an active process of personal growth.This is me setting the intention of how I plan to try to reduce how frequently these negative behaviors and patterns show up in my life, so I can feel better about myself, my process of writing, and creating art. I’m trying to tell myself in this moment to just try to put in the smallest amount of effort to change. Its worth it. You do not run a marathon after just jogging once. Trust the progress. Be patient. Slowly let go of internal expectations. Do not allow externalities to inform what your creativity.Last year I wrote a song for my fiance. I mention this not out of vanity, but because the opening lines:“Lets kill perfection. It never existed, you dont have to worry, ill carry you out of this story, any day. Break every mirror, you dont need to see yourself to know your beauty, i will remind you, your practically glowing”.So, may I stay true to these intentions, may I continue to learn to give myself the same compassion that I know that I can show to others, and may we all continue to find ways to share our art with open hearts. with luv,T Submitted June 28, 2024 at 06:46PM by bohemianaorta https://ift.tt/YoDHcMf via /r/Music

[positivlyfocused]

What Happens When I Share Advice Of My Eternal Being

Wisdom flowing from my Broader Perspective delights everyone who hears it. Clients often talk about “golden nuggets” I share during sessions. These nuggets represent peals of wisdom coming from All That Is. All That Is being expressed by my Broader Perspective.

This happens, of course, because now I’m chronically tuned to my Broader Perspective. That’s the aspect of All That Is that is the larger part of me — That part of me that remained in nonphysical while another part of me incarnated in this body.

By allowing that Broader Perspective connection as a dominant aspect of my consciousness, I can feel its communication. That communication feels deeply satisfying. And when I receive communication, accompanying it is a strong urge to express it.

That expression is what sounds like “golden nuggets”. Sharing such a nugget is what happened recently, to the delight of a newer client. Let’s take a look at what happened.

Some background

This client, like many people, came into the world through a family of “no nonsense people”. Her mother, and her mother’s mother…and so on through past generations…believed crying to be a sign of weakness. Compounded upon that belief are stories about what it means to be a woman.

So this client, as many clients do, came to her beginning sessions with a lot of resistance about letting go of resistance. One natural way we let go of resistance is through crying. Crying represents a manifested form of abundance. It’s what happens when variation inherent in life experience is so abundant, and our focus on that so acute, we go into a state of overwhelm.

Now my clients recognize the value of the emotion “overwhelm”. All emotions give us crucial information. But the majority of people don’t know this, which explains why so many people think crying makes someone a “cry-baby”.

If that natural expression doesn’t happen, emotional build up within the human body can get so strong, it can cause other physical and mental manifestations. Manifestations like disease, for example. Or anxiety.

In fact, most “disease” results from this. Medical science is beginning to recognize that fact. In a later post, I’ll write about discoveries science is finding. Discoveries confirming what spiritual adepts like me have known since ancient times: That our bodies are manifestations of our beliefs.

In short, it’s important to release resistance. Doing so serves many goals. For one, it contributes to physical well being. Secondly, it allows us to live lives where things we want happen with little effort on our part. Other reasons support releasing resistance. But these are two big ones; at least as far as humans are concerned.

Ok, back to this client.

A beautiful communication

So this client expressed strong knee-jerk reactions to my suggestion that she should let her tears flow. “Andersons [not her real surname] don’t cry” she kept saying. It was a mantra for her, even while we spoke about her father’s passing, a subject over which she had a lot of resistance. Indeed, as if in spite of this mantra, tears began flowing down her face. What a juxtaposition of manifestations!

This conversation would continue into the next session. Meanwhile, the next morning, I came out of the dream world with communication from my Broader Perspective on this topic. The communication came fully-formed. Along with it came a strong impulse to share it. So I made myself a reminder to send the client a text after my morning rituals.

When my reminder popped up, I sent the message. It was a while before the client responded, but I knew the message hit its mark. It was from my Broader Perspective after all. And my Broader Perspective’s wisdom is unerring. Here’s what I sent. The client’s response follows:

Resurrect your wisdom

When I received the “download”, as many new agers call this communication, its beauty astounded me as well. After writing it, I too, like my client, read it and re-read it. It does flow with amazing clarity and grace. It’s almost poetic.

This is the kind of thing that’s available to all of us. We are eternal beings experiencing human conditions as a way of expanding what we are. In doing so we also expand All That Is, including humanity and this world.

Most humans live through this experience as humans. But some come into the world with strong enough clarity to want more. They know this is not all there is. And in that knowing, they spark within themselves a rebirth, usually after some time spent as an ordinary human. This process is what Neville Goddard referred to as “the resurrection.”

I like that way of putting it.

Resurrection is a glorious experience. All that follows that experience fills one with such delight, words can’t get close to describing the expeirence. I encourage anyone with an iota of interest in the spiritual, anyone who sees themselves as a seeker, to pursue their interest; to become a finder. Tap into your Broader Perspective communication, receive delightful messages of beauty and wisdom. Then see your life transform.

[cardiac-arresting-sweetheart]

Hi do u have advice for someone who’s darling is dating someone else. Not advice for how to get over them im not giving up but like how to make yourself more desirable. Like what did you do to get your darlings

long post incoming because i have gone insane about this so much (lol. WHO AM I!!!!!!!!!) let me drop some insane info on you. finally an excuse to get this out of my system BYEEE

warning. this is really fucking unhealthy. ahahahah. but this is yanblr after all soooo ^_^

you have to figure out what their type is first. it's not too hard to get this information out of them if you just talk enough but especiallyyyy if they're a romantic kind of person, just goad this information out of them.

you can usually also judge from their personality what their type would be. weak people want strong people strong people want weak people. if they're both then they'd usually want either/both. that's what it boils down to. and if you know anything about typology maybe try to figure out their enneagram type or mbti/socionics type if you don't know it already and try researching what they would like based off of that.

and also off the person they're dating. but i think that's kind of obvious. DON'T TRY TO LITERALLY BECOME THEM THOUGH it's way too obvious. you have to make something up yourself... it's an artform

it's pretty easy to act a certain way if you just get used to it. maybe try practicing with ai (can also make an ai version of the idealized version of yourself just to see how it acts or of your darling to experiment... of course not if you're weirded out by ai or anything!) or strangers orrrr something like that. write down the personality you want to have and figure out how it'd talk, how it'd think, force yourself to become it. if you catch yourself thinking/speaking/behaving the wrong way, replace that immediately with the correct version and convince yourself that it was just a glitch. you get used to it eventually.

train yourself to always think before everything you say or do. every morning and night remind yourself to think before you do anything. it'll get through to you eventually. you can try writing or saying to yourself like 15-20 times, "i will always act how i should" or something like that. just a mantra so you start thinking the right way.

appearance wise is the same process just physical. write down what you want/need to look like and go research what you can do for that. just drinking water and eating well (not too much, not too little; gain/lose weight if/as needed/desired, it's just calories in calories out, if you truly care enough and are obsessed enough, you can do anything) works pretty well for looking better. exercise is always good. don't hurt yourself more than you already will be. this isn't really healthy lmfao. don't think i need to go too in depth to it.

and the most effective thing is subliminals/manifestation lol. not too hard to find things for that. you can use that to make them love you back/get rid of a third party and/or to change yourself. ^_^

this is like... really fucking unhealthy though. if that's not totally obvious. sooooo. take this all with a fat tablespoon of salt so to speak or just don't do this because you'll probably go crazy! and it's very likely they may still not even like you anyway... ahahahahahah. 😵‍💫

...i am crazy. i could probably go on for like 10 pages to be honest. LMFAO i love changing myself 😍 i feel like using subliminals can kind of make it okay though... since you can just... manifest that there's no adverse effects. haha.

yeah i'm crazy. thanks for listening to my ted talk i need to delete this later

EDIT: FORGOT TO MENTION get into their interests however possible. there has to be something you'll like LOL

[cinquaintothequaint]

⚠️⚠️⚠️!!WARNING: DON'T TAKE PHYSICAL THERAPY!!⚠️⚠️⚠️

Or better yet, just not medicine..

I'm a first year that's taking BS in PT (Physical Therapy) and after one semester, why does it feel like I'm reaching the end? Am I dangling off a ledge? Because it sure as hell feels like it.

Now don't get me wrong, I chose this. I literally chant, "Pinili ko to, panindigan ko kase sayang naman!" (I chose this and I'll go through with it, it'll be a shame if I give up.) Whenever I'm about to tackle another side quest or stay up for another weekly

But what the hell is panindigan specifically? I translated it and numerous words came up:

That's.. a lot.. Filipino is a language that does a lot with context so stick with me here.

Within my first week, I've heard numerous students (friends and blockmates alike) just chant it like a mantra. It's a record that keeps on playing, constantly, on repeat, whatever, and forever until we die.

Okay, wait, it's too much to for me to say die but you get me?

It's like having to always run for the last stretch of a race or surviving the last 2 minutes of a viking ride, and just casually nodding, "Yeah I'll go for another." But wait. You're doing this forever? In the case of college, you're readying yourself to do this for life baby!

I'm someone that doesn't like making themself panic. In that first week, I was telling myself, "Pfft I'll be fine, just need to swerve here and there and I won't hit anything."

Oh if only the me on the 6th of September knew that it was so over.

My block and I shared the feeling of cold water being dumped on us when we got through our first Physiology lecture. And that won't be the only time!

Only the Lord (or the higher being you believe in) will know what will happen, and only them they did.

When I tell you that the median score for quizzes was a 5~10 out of 45, you can feel the despair from just reading it. This was a major! I had to step it up! My GOD I really did try!!

But learning medicine is learning a new language and chapter of my life altogether.

Yeah I'm bilingual, alam ko naman ung alpabeto ko. But in medicinal, you say, "I'm sorry, in the reference I read, the book said this." And frantically look for it because your pracs professor is wondering when the hell did spine of the scapula just become spine, and then you point to it, and they're just like, "Oh well you should've wrote the entire name." And the class bemoans their luck because the question asked, literal, what is this part of the scapula?

Real experience I had.

We didn't get the +1 point.

Being a med student in college makes your relatives smile in approval. You receive a responsibility the moment you start learning your anatomical terminology and how to differentiate up from superior. There's this pressure from expectations, the required GPA, your own self-esteem is WORKING against you, and my God we haven't talked about the minor subjects yet.

All of this starts accumulating, truly it does, and suddenly you can't go out anymore.

You're stuck there.

Studying.

What's it for? It's for the pre-lec, post-lec, and prelim next week.

So yeah, I got really really low scores in Physiology. I was feigning ignorance and hoping for the best and even got my rosary out to be holier than my parents' 6pm prayer.

I was on that ledge.

Again.. DON'T TAKE PHYSICAL THERAPY (or med in general)

If you don't like..

Wearing white uniforms

Reviewing when you're out and about

The heart-wrenching despair and anxiety every time you're reminded that you're a med student

Everything and everyone

Yourself, because why did you subject to the mental gymnastics?

Going through med subjects that start with the letter P

Debating whether or not to take med school (unless you're already in med school then you have my sympathy)

Feeling dumb all the time

The cost and time.

This list.

..

You're probably thinking I'm overreacting, and yes I'm aware. Too aware, and I'm too scared, too insecure, and too damn .. ugh..

...

Maybe when I say panindigan ko to, I just want a sign from God to strike me from behind and I can finally call it off.

I just want a clear answer that I wasn't cut out for this yk?

But, well shit, I kind of like.. what I'm doing.

My "don't like" list isn't permanent. My woes aren't permanent.

It could be, but I like to think it won't be.

Because at the end of the day, when I look at all that then to everything else that I want and wish to do, to achieve and to make something out of an incomplete me, then fuck, the physical therapy dream needs to forcefully kick me out before I can say bye-bye.

So yeah, if you don't mind or actually like something in the if you don't like list- you have a 10% chance of taking physical therapy or med in general.

This rant is over. Cut!

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I forgot.

I passed by the way. I qualified for 2nd semester of my first year in BS-PT.

Uhm.. my last few thoughts, I think med students are masochists who are for the people and that's beautiful (I wanna be a part of that!). And also!

Panindigan ko kase.. gusto ko to ih!

(I'M SORRY THIS WAS WRITTEN SO LONG? HAVE A GREAT DAY AND YOU'RE DOING GREAT KEEP IT UP)