#like a malevolent Chihuahua

[poyameows]

Started malevolent and I didn't realise the scariest part would be the entity growling.

[xenolinn]

John: You can’t see this but you have the cold calculated demeanor of someone not to fuck with.

The Arthur I’ve already imagine in my head: 

[yabagofmilfs]

The hilarity of Men on Twitter suggesting that Sid lift his NMC and get traded to a better team. What’s it like to have zero parasocial relationship with your sports icon, Greg? What’s it like to know all his stats from the beginning of time but not a single personal detail? How can you be a lifelong pens fan and not know that Sidney Crosby would become something akin to an anxiety-ridden chihuahua if he was taken out of his enclosure.

Where would he even go. Boston?? You think anyone in the horrible Boston front office is going to change their parking spot to make sure Sidney feels safe? Toronto?? Like anyone on that team could bully him until he c*ms. Mitch Marner is going to call him Mr. Crosby and try to teach him about tiktok and Auston Matthews will be standoffish but secretly yearn for hockey daddy’s approval. The Bolts? He would wither and die from lack of whimsy. Rangers? He would literally be murdered by the malevolent spirit possessing the team and also the face recognition software would fall in love with him due to his unique features which as you can imagine would be very awkward for all involved. Every team presents unique nightmare scenarios for him.

Don’t speak unless you have all the facts, Greg. Come back to me when you’ve done your research. 🙄

[izzymarksthespot]

On ep 5 of Malevolent and I'm shaking like a chihuahua, I LOVE THIS ❤️❤️❤️

[samglyph]

I just got into Malevolent and your art is making me vibrate like a caffeinated chihuahua in the best way possible. It's actually one of the reasons why I finally took the plunge - I've been eyeing the podcast for a while now and looked up fanart on a whim.

And well uh.

John and Arty are actively setting my brain on fire rn and I'm loving it.

Thanks for your fanart it's amazing beautiful spectacular and should have its own section in the Louvre. Now if you excuse me, I need to clock into work and try not to appear too DERANGED from my inability to continue listening.

Oh my god I can’t believe I never saw this ask this was DELIGHTFUL to find when I opened my inbox. Thank you so much and I’m glad you’re enjoying the show so much! Thanks for the kind words!

[celsidebottom]

I understand that John malevolent would most likely look like a version of the king with some dramatic visage BUT I enjoy nothing more than him looking like a tiny little friend who has been drenched and is offended by how small he is like a chihuahua

[personshapedsplder]

So excited for today's chapter of malevolent that I'm like shaking like a chihuahua

[iamjessemccartney]

if he's the man you're bound to then why is he my purse dog

[bumblesimagines]

Forgotten Fairytale

Part 3

Request: Yes or No

~

“We have two announcements today. First, we have a new student, (Y/N). As some of you may know, (Y/N) is a dragon-vampire hybrid and I expect each and everyone of you to treat him with respect. To whom it may concern, he is not our next monster. We’ve recently encountered a Night Hag.” Alaric announced to the remaining student body that had chosen not to leave. You kept your arms crossed, making eye contact with Hope. You gave her a triumphant smirk and got an eye roll in return.

“A Night Hag is a malevolent spirit trapped on the astral plane that can only interact with us through dreams. In this case, nightmares.” Alaric explained, murmurs spreading through the students. 

“So, like, Freddy Kruger?” 

“Well, in the sense that what happens to you in your dreams seems to happen to you in real life, yes. But, the good news is we’re safe, so long as we stay awake.” Alaric explained, nodding to the questions. He noticed tension rise and cleared his throat. 

“We’ve lined up more evacuation shuttles. They should be running all afternoon, so please, for those who don’t want to stay and fight, take advantage of them.” Alaric licked his lips. You gave a small snort, biting your bottom lip. Ryan had mentioned a possible run in with monsters but he seemed confident in your abilities to protect yourself. Once you had your father back, you’d make sure he faced some monsters of his own. You stood once Alaric dismissed everyone, noticing him motion for you to come over. With a deep sigh, you walked towards the stage he was on. 

“I’ve got your classes sorted out. You’ll be taking typical high school courses, plus some of the supernatural courses we typically give to everyone. You’ll have some vampire classes and finally, a one-on-one with Dorian to talk about dragons. Dorian insisted on it. I would like you to speak with Emma, she’s one of our teachers and also the counselor for those who need one.” Alaric explained, handing you a paper. You gave it a once over before looking up at him.

“And why would I need to speak with a counselor? I’m perfectly fine.” 

“Considering you walked out on Dorian after a mention of your father, I don’t think you’re fine.” Alaric gave a tight lipped smile, patting your arm as he walked by. You blew a raspberry, looking back down at the paper. 

“Oh, and by the way, these uniforms are horrendous.” You called to him, stepping off the stage and making brief eye contact with Hope as she spoke to Landon. 

“I have to agree with you on the uniforms being horrendous. We look like preppy golf kids.” You looked at the guy walking beside you. 

“All we’re missing are the pants and the golf course.” You grinned, chuckling as the guy nodded and laughed along. 

“I’m Kaleb, by the way. I’m a vampire, so I guess that means I’ll be seeing you around.” Kaleb gave a grin. You hummed, looking forward.

“Man, you and those other dudes got lucky. You don’t have to take these exams.”

“But, we do have to deal with the bullshit this school brings.” You stopped by a water fountain, leaning down and drinking from it. Kaleb leaned against the wall, arms crossing.

“Actually, I think that Landon guy was the one who brought the monsters with him. Things went to shit when he got here and-”

“It’s not Landons fault. The knife had been at this school for god knows how long.” You leaned up, wiping your mouth as your gaze fell on Rafael. 

“Well, like I said, we gotta deal with the bullshit the school brings.”

“And to do that, we have to be a team. We can’t insult or push each other away.” Rafael said, glancing between you and Kaleb. You let out a small snort, grinning as you shook your head. 

“Doesn’t that go against your nature? That’s all mutts know how to do. That and throw temper tantrums.” Kaleb snickered at your words. Rafael sighed, eyes shutting briefly in an attempt to stay calm and relaxed.

“You don’t have to worry about me, puppy. I can be a good teammate as long as you stay out of my way. Same goes for you.” You glanced at Kaleb before turning around and walking away. You walked to your first class, stepping inside and getting ready for a boring day of school.

~~~~~~~~~~

You ran your fingers over the books on the shelves, grabbing one and pulling it out of the shelf. You stepped out of the library and found a nice cushion seat, opening the book and flipping through the pages. You stopped on the one you had been looking for. 

Klaus Mikaelson: The Great Evil

Your eyes swept over the writing, searching for any mention of Hope. She was powerful but she hadn’t become a full tribrid yet. You paused, hearing footsteps coming from the hallway along with someone humming softly.

“Dr. Saltzman!”

“”Dr. Saltzman, I have changed my mind. I’ve decided to take you up on your offer and get the hell out with every other sane person here.””

“No, actually, I took your advice and I stayed busy, and I think I found something.” You lifted your head at Landon’s words, hearing their footsteps head back down the hall. You stood up from your seat, turning your head and watching them turn a corner. You looked down at the book in your hands, gently biting your bottom lip. 

“I definitely didn’t sign up for this… but I might as well enjoy the ride.” You looked back up, heading down the hall and entering the small library where Landon, Hope, and Alaric were at. You leaned against the railing, watching them speak.

“Why would a monster need to disguise itself as another monster? The Oneiroi sounds freaky enough.” Hope said, glancing between Landon and Alaric.

“Because if we knew what it actually was..”

“We’d know how to stop it.” Alaric finished for him, nodding. 

“Hope, kiss him for me.” Alaric said, turning and heading towards the stairs. He looked up, noticing you. He slowed down, head tilting.

“Need something, (Y/N)?” Alaric asked, heading up the stairs. You shook your head, fingers drumming against the book.

“Just eavesdropping.” You shrugged. Alaric let out a small laugh, nodding as he walked by.

“Don’t think you’re off my radar, (Y/N).” Hope called, arms crossing as she cocked a brow at you. 

“I’m honored you care so much about me, Red. It’s real sweet, though I think you should be more invested in your boytoy. Keep your eye on this one, Discount Jughead. She seems to have… a wandering eye. You shouldn’t forget who her mother was in love with.” You gave them a wink, turning around. You stepped towards a bookshelf, sliding the book into the shelf. 

“What about your family? What were they like?” Hope asked, approaching the stairs. You turned to look at her. 

“My mother gave my father a gift and then she left. At least she didn’t die because of me.” You leaned forward slightly as she got closer. Hope stopped a few feet from you, jaw clenching. 

“You know nothing about me.”

“I could say the same, Red. I might’ve been a dick when I was younger but atleast I never tried to kill someone who loves me and raised me. You had a mother who was invested in you and loved you. It would’ve never crossed my mind to hurt my father, no matter how pissed I was.” You sneered, watching her facade begin to crumble. Hope remained silent for a few passing minutes. 

“We should probably tell the others about our new discovery.” Landon piped up softly. Hope turned her head towards him, nodding.

“Yeah, I.. I have a plan.” Hope breathed out, looking back at you.

“Making enemies on your first day is the stupidest idea you’ve probably come up with.” Hope said, brushing past you. Landon slowly walked up the stairs, awkwardly approaching you.

“Hope is a.. She’s a good person-”

“You don’t have to defend her when she’s not around, My Chemical Romance.” You stared at him, giving a small eye roll. 

“Why are you such a dick?”

“Well, my dad told me my mom was a bit of a bitch. I probably got it from her.” You shrugged, turning around and leaving the library. You heard Landon catch up with you.

“I was in the foster system for most of my life. I can understand some of your feelings regarding not knowing your mom and-”

“Listen, Gerard Way, I’m not interested in being your friend. I’ve been taught and shown that humans are the least trustworthy creatures on this planet. It’s better to be alone than to trust a human. They’re like chihuahuas. They think they’re at the top when they’re actually at the bottom and I’d rather not have my life in the hands of one.” You looked at him.

“Fair comparison.” Landon mumbled. “But, some humans are good and they mean well-”

“We can have this conversation after I take a nap.” You entered the lounge area where Hope had gathered the rest of the boys. Hope explained that the Night Hag was actually an Oneiroi. 

“I know it sounds bad, but now that we know what the creature is, we can fight it.”

“How the hell are we supposed to kill a dream demon?”

“Leave that to me. But since I can’t fall asleep without compromising the location of the urn, I need someone else to pull it out of the dream plane and into our waking reality.” Hope explained, looking over everyone. 

“So, Freddy Krueger, like I said.” Another vampire, MG, pointed out.

“And how the hell are we supposed to do that?” Rafael asked, looking back at Hope.

“By entering the dream plane, getting a hold of it, and waking yourself up.” You answered, shrugging lightly.

“Just like in the movies.” MG nodded in agreement to your response. Kaleb hummed, nodding. 

“Is it too late to get on the evacuation bus?” Kaleb asked, tilting his head as you snorted. Hope gave a sympathetic look.

“No. I mean, I’m not gonna ask all of you to stay for this, it has to be your choice.” Hope said, silence following. Landon quickly stood up.

“I’m not leaving unless Hope does.” Landon said. Hope didn’t seem exactly thrilled as she gave a small hum. She looked at Rafael, brows raised in question.

“I’m not leaving Landon behind.” 

“You two are very codependent.” You mumbled, hearing Kaleb snicker and nod. 

“I’m a founding member of the Super Squad-”

“The fuck is a ‘Super Squad’?”

“-So I can’t bail.” MG stood up from his seat with a supporting smile. The four of them turned towards you and Kaleb.

“Y’all are gonna get yourselves killed.” Kaleb said, looking at Hope. 

“But if MG stays, I stay.” He added with a sigh, looking at you. 

“This reeks of drama and chaos so, I’m definitely staying and watching this go down.” You grinned, shrugging lightly. “But I’m not gonna be a member of this.. ‘Super Squad’ shit you have going on.” 

“In that case, it’s naptime.” Hope said, giving a small nod. 

“I’ll go speak with Dr. Saltzman. Get set up in the gym. Bring blankets, pillows, and anything else that might help you fall asleep.” Hope walked past them and Landon quickly followed. 

“Codependency is a big problem here, huh?” You shook your head, glancing at Kaleb. You grabbed one of the pillows off the couch and turned, heading towards the gym. You watched the others bring the necessary stuff, Hope and Landon entering while deep in what seemed like an argument. 

“You are gonna sleep with us, right?” Kaleb asked, noticing you hadn't made a small bed like they had.

“No.” You shook your head, arms crossing.

“What do you mean, no?” Landon frowned, brows furrowing.

“You don’t want to see me wake up from a nightmare. Accidental shifting and accidental arson isn’t pretty.” You shrugged lightly. Hope hummed.

“We don’t need a confused dragon causing an accident.” Hope looked at the rest of the guys. They lied down in a circle, slowly falling asleep one by one. Hope stepped towards you, closely watching each of them. 

“It was a shit move to bring up your mom. I’ve been on edge since dad disappeared.” You said quietly, ignoring the surprised look Hope gave you. 

“Sorry for that.” You walked away from her, careful to be quiet so as to not wake them up. You noticed each of the boys becoming more twitchy, faces contorted in confusion or fear as the hours began to pass. 

“How come you aren’t tired?” Hope asked softly. 

“You think I could sleep with my only family gone?” You looked at her with raised brows. Hope nodded, looking down to see that Rafael, MG, and Kaleb had stopped twitching as much.

“It’s almost time.” Hope turned, quickly leaving the gym. You gently toyed with your necklace, licking your lips and turning to face the boys when they all suddenly awoke. They stood and began talking all at once, making you huff in annoyance.

“Calm down, Hope’s handling it.” 

“What? What the hell-” Landon was cut off by Oneiroi and Hope crashing through one of the doors. Hope quickly got up, blowing some hair out of her face.

“Stay back, I got this.” She called, running forward and tackling the demon before promptly getting choked. 

“Yeah, she’s totally got this.” You mumbled, picking up two wooden pieces that had belonged to the now broken doors. You approached her, stabbing the pieces through the demons’ eyes. Hope let out a gasp for breath as the demon disappeared into a cloud.

“Thank you.” She coughed, rubbing her throat. 

“Next time, be prepared.” You stood, letting Landon help her up as Alaric rushed in with his crossbow. You tossed the wood aside, turning and walking past Alaric. You thought back on the urn and Hope mentioning she knew where it was. Befriending her to find it would be a problem in itself.

“(Y/N)!” Alaric called after you, quickly jogging after you. You turned to face him, raising a brow.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for helping Hope. How’d you know how to kill it?” Alaric asked.

“Like I said, dragons don’t just horde inanimate objects. I like to read as a pastime and most of the time, the books have to do with the supernatural.” You answered, shrugging lightly. Alaric nodded, reaching out and gently touching your arm.

“Thank you.. I’m sure Hope appreciates it.” Alaric gave a small smile. You nodded, licking your lips as Alaric turned and went to check on everyone. He passed by Hope who gave him a small smile and nod. She turned her head to look at you, arms gently wrapping around herself. She slowly approached you, gaze on the ground. 

“I know you could’ve just let me get hurt but.. Thank you for helping me. I know we got off on a terrible foot so, I hope we can be a bit more civil with each other.” 

“We’ll see.”

[thejamaicanweeb]

Mitosis - Soul Division Prologue: The Average Candidate

A/N: Hey there! This is just an OM fanfic I’m writing with two MCs based on my two best friends in the entire world. Based on the main stories, Devilgram stories, texts and events. I hope you enjoy it! -Jisa

EDIT!!!: I cannot believe I forgot this! TRIGGER WARNING FOR IMPLIED ABUSE! (Honestly, being beaten as discipline is such a common thing here; it never even occurred to me that what was every day and normal here could trigger someone else I am so so sorry Q_Q)

Name: Sinai

Age: 23

DOB: 08/09/1996, Sunday 11:58 pm

Highest Level of Education: Associates Degree BB Med Sci. Undertaking an MBBS degree.

Race: Human

Region: South America and the Caribbean

Shadows obscured the rest of the information. A black-gloved hand picked up the profile that had slipped from the short stack of papers on the desk. Intelligent scarlet eyes scanned the rest of the page quickly, then glanced at the small picture fastened to the upper right-hand corner. 

The young woman in the picture beamed up at him. A wide smile crinkled her russet brown eyes shut. Large red glasses sat on top of a short nose. While her round face made her appear a few years younger at first glance, dark under-eye circles added the years back. The raven-haired demon placed the paper on the desk and ground the heels of his palms against his eyelids, trying in vain to rub the gritty feeling of fatigue away. He stifled a yawn as his DDD rang. 

“Hm?” 

“Lucifer?” 

As always, Diavolo sounded animated, even in the early hours of the morning 

“You’re still awake, I see. Decided yet?” 

Lucifer sank back into his chair. The weight of his exhaustion sat on his chest, pushing the air out in a sigh. 

“Not yet,” he responded, brushing his hand over his forehead.

“Hey, don’t agonize over this for too long, all right? You can just pick one at random, really. Besides, it’s pretty late and you’ve been running on fumes as is.”

“I’m fine.”

“You fell asleep mid-sentence at lunchtime.” Diavolo pointed out

Lucifer made a non-committal sound as he glanced down at the profile in front of him. The time on his wristwatch made him regret checking (as it usually did). He had long since stopped trying to keep track of the scores of profiles that had made the shortlist of humans. They blurred together after the first hundred or so. He glanced at the paper in front of him and closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“You know what? Yes, I have decided. At least this one seems less... mischievous than Solomon.” he muttered as an afterthought

“Oh? Great! Send a picture?”

“Sure.”

Diavolo pulled the DDD away from his ear as the message came in. He switched the call to speakerphone.

“I see what you mean,” he commented with a laugh, “Well, she seems nice enough,”

“I suppose so. What should I do with the rest?”

“Ah, don’t worry about it now. Get to sleep! It’s not like they’ll run away,”

Lucifer rolled his eyes. He could practically see Diavolo waving off his question. He glanced at his watch again and groaned internally. 

“Fine,” he conceded, turning off the desk lamp and ending the call. As he stood and stretched, a draft entered, making the flames in the fireplace dance and disturbing the pile of papers.

“Oh, no you don’t!” he growled, slamming his DDD on top before striding across the room to latch the window shut.

Unbeknownst to him, a single candidate had escaped, whisked out into the chilly night air. It danced erratically across the starry sky, fluttered through the wrought iron bars of the gate before coming to rest on the sidewalk for a moment. The wind whisked it upwards and then:

Rip!

A small dark clawed hand snatched it out of midair, perforating the margins. 

“Hey.” said the small horned creature, nudging its companion. Its voice lay somewhere in the territory between a hiss and a high-pitched rasp. It brought to mind the image of nails scraping a chalkboard; it made your hair stand on end. “Look at this.”

The small group glanced around before swiftly melting into the shadows, their dark essence silently oozing around the corner into a hidden alleyway. One by one they re-materialized, their razor-sharp teeth on full display as their ever-present malevolent grins further widened, distorting their faces.

“Interesting, very interesting” one finally broke the silence, squinting at the paper.

“If this is one candidate for the exchange programme…”

“...it would be a shame if a human was killed during such a delicate attempt at diplomacy,” another continued, its tongue flickering out briefly.

“If Diavolo finds out about this, he’ll have our tails for sure,” one of them quipped, its tail nervously twitching back and forth.

“Please, there are millions of us. There’s no way they’d be able to pin it on us,” scoffed the Little Devil holding the profile. “Besides, when has anyone really cared about us lesser demons?” 

“Humans are the weakest creatures across the three realms and if this stupid programme works out who knows what will come next? What if they expect us to stop eating them? What if they expect us to start viewing them as… as equals?” it hissed, the distaste in its voice palpable. It looked up, its glowing eyes meeting those of each of its companions’.

“We’re already at the bottom of the food chain here. I’m not about to answer to humans. It’s- it’s just unnatural. Anyway, are you with me or not?”

“We’re with you,” someone piped up. The others nodded in agreement. 

“Good.”

The dark talons scraped across the photograph of the human, leaving three parallel gouge marks. They all leaned in as their ringleader lowered its voice to a harsh whisper.

“Here’s what we’re gonna do…”

                            (づ￣ 3￣)づSTAGE CHANGE(づ￣ 3￣)づ

The human’s picture and summary were pinned to the notice board hours before the occupants of the House of Lamentation stirred. At least those who had bothered to go to bed at all. Lucifer paused briefly on his way out the door. Nothing about the human felt familiar. Pride wasn’t a vice that she struggled with. Based on what he could discern, being self-effacing was second nature to her. A smirk with equal parts contempt and sadism came to his face as he left, as he contemplated how to break her in the face of his sin. I hope your resolve is firm, human. I could do with a challenge.

                                    ��                     (⌐■_■)

“Has Lucifer lost it? She looks like a kid! Did the chihuahua need a playmate or something?”

“I know this might be hard, but don’t be stupid. Her cheeks are just a bit chubby. What kid has acne scars like that? Hasn’t she heard of retinols?”

The taller of the two snorted and snapped a picture of the notice board to send in the group. Intense ultramarine eyes flickered up to the picture for a split second before he walked off, his key-chain swaying with every step. In a fluid motion, he pushed his hair off of his forehead and affixed his trademark sunglasses to his face.

“Do you know her?” his brother called after Mammon’s retreating figure

“Ain’t seen her in my life.”

With that Mammon left, his mind already on the business opportunities he’d laid out for the day.

                                                     (✿◠‿◠)

Asmodeus continued to survey the young woman, absentmindedly tapping a manicured finger to the corner of his mouth. He had met her only for a moment. That was strange considering her age. After a few more seconds of scrutiny, he shrugged and went back to his room to continue his weekly detox. No doubt existed in his mind that she would fail any test he presented her with. Who wouldn’t, especially since it was so much fun? Who wouldn’t want to fall to the world’s most popular sin?

                                                         (ง •_•)ง

Towers and towers of books, all rather precariously stacked, surrounded the Avatar of Wrath as he worked. He tossed his DDD carelessly on his bed about two hours earlier, freeing himself from distractions while he finished his Latin assignment. In all fairness, he finished what the lecturer required him to do but the number of languages from the human realm that originated from the official language of the Devildom. Despite being engrossed in a particularly large tome, he navigated his way around shorter piles without losing his balance. He picked up his phone and checked the notifications.

“Sinai, huh? Interesting name.”

He shut his eyes, pensive. She was familiar, but he didn’t know her personally.

When he opened his eyes he was glaring down at the human, towering over her tiny three-year-old form. She was crying, her large russet eyes pleading along with her choked childish voice that she didn’t want to read. He raised his palm. The crying redoubled and the picture book fell to the floor.

She was older now, maybe about nine or ten, but she was still crying. Black and blue marks were just barely visible against her chestnut-brown skin. He was yelling at her for lying about wearing her retainer.

Satan was then watching a scene unfold before him. Two men were standing in a kitchen yelling at one another. A middle-aged woman was trying to deescalate the situation with little success.

“Hm, a father-son spat? What does that have to do with her?” Satan wondered aloud.

The older man whirled around with a knife in his hand. His wife ordered her son to run. He did. Hours later, at minutes to midnight, the human finally emerged, waking up after falling asleep on her textbooks. She blinked owlishly, disoriented. When the doorknob rattled and her mother walked in. In response to her confusion, her mother hugged her and explained what happened and reassured her that her brother was safe and sound at their grandma’s house. The young woman exhaled, smiled and held her mom and comforted her. For the first time, Satan could hear what she was saying.

“It’s ok Mummy. I’m ok, Mattie is safe. We will be ok,”

Her mother nodded, gave her a watery smile and turned off the kitchen lights. The human watched her mother walk upstairs before crouching down and finally letting her face crumple and hot tears race down her face, her mouth ajar in a silent scream.

Satan shook himself out of his reverie and pondered how he would go about tempting an individual to fall to a sin they feared.

                                                     ( ´･･)ﾉ(._.`)

The sizable shadow stopped moving as he heard the notification chime from his pocket. The duffel bag dangled from his fingertips as he squinted at the screen. His eyes widened slightly as he laid his eyes on the picture.

“Huh”

He tapped the microphone icon and continued on his way as he recorded the voice note. 

“I guess you could say I know her. We were closer, at least until the last year or two. But even with her appetite, she was always sharing. I guess you could say that she was half in, half out.”

That being said, it was all too easy to fall back into old habits. Compared to the rest of his brothers, his role in testing the exchange student’s soul could be easier. The crisp breeze tousled his hair as his thoughts turned to Belphegor, a now-familiar ache constricting his heart. He wondered if his twin knew the human. He missed him.

                                                        ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The purple-haired demon carefully placed his gaming headset on his desk before he pushed against the ground with the balls of his feet, sending his chair rolling backwards. 

“Jeez, why do these guys always blow up the stupid group chat whenever I have a campaign?” he griped, his fingers scrolling rapidly; orange eyes darting back and forth

“Really? All this over a human?” He rolled his eyes and turned back to his setup, not bothering to read the profile under the picture. Odds were he knew the human. He knew nearly every human, even if it was just in passing. After all, which of them could say that envy hadn’t crept upon them? If they did, they were lying. Testing the human’s soul would just be another game, and Leviathan was pretty damn good at games. 

                          (づ￣ 3￣)づSTAGE CHANGE(づ￣ 3￣)づ

“So the only two who recognized her really were Beelzebub and Leviathan?”

Lucifer nodded as he set his teacup back down. He offered his DDD to Diavolo before absentmindedly picking up a cookie. He looked around his study, somewhat aggravated about the state of his study. Every time he set time aside to get it back in order, something always seemed to come up. The height of the piles of reports and bills was alarming, and the bout of sneezing that resulted from searching the shelves was a glaring reminder that it had been a while since he had last dusted. Lucifer shut his eyes and let himself slump into the armchair. The glow of the fireplace made patterns that danced across his eyelids.

A loud guffaw from his companion caused him to open one eye.

Diavolo’s shoulders were still shaking as he showed Lucifer the screen. The Avatar of Pride stared for a few moments before sitting bolt upright and snatching the phone away, eyes wide and slack-jawed.

Two stickers were trending. One was of Diavolo in his true form, donning a beautiful -if - extravagant red ball gown. The other was of himself astride a pastel pink and purple unicorn with a rainbow horn.

His grip threatened to crack the screen as Diavolo managed to compose himself enough to speak

“That’s the best thing I’ve seen all day,” he gasped as he wiped a tear from his eye. 

“Who is responsible for this?” The words barely made it through Lucifer’s clenched jaw.

“I’m not sure, I think it may have come from the student newspaper. Our students are very creative,”

 The Prince was either oblivious or unphased by Lucifer’s displeasure.

“Is that so? Remind me to have a talk with Mephistopheles.” 

Choosing to overlook this, Diavolo planted his feet on the ground and rested his elbows on his knees.

“She didn’t have any pacts with them either? Just her own sin?” he peered at Lucifer over his steepled fingers.

The dark-haired man nodded, business-like once more. Diavolo sat back, looking quite pleased with himself.

“Well then, Overall I’d certainly say she seems to be... hm,” He crossed his arms and gazed at the rafters before looking back at Lucifer “I don’t think ‘safe’ is the word I’m looking for, necessarily, but she seems like a great candidate and a counterbalance to Solomon.”

Lucifer raised his eyebrows. “A Counterbalance?”

“I mean, Solomon isn’t exactly your typical human,”

“That’s an understatement,” Lucifer muttered. Diavolo snickered, shaking his head. 

“You know what I mean! A monarch, a sorcerer, a scholar and dozens of pacts to boot. He isn’t exactly average, is he?”

Lucifer’s lip curled as he shook his head

“I still don’t see we kept him as a candidate,” he commented. He didn’t expect a meaningful response, especially considering Diavolo was perched at the edge of his seat; his eyes alight the way they always were whenever he latched onto a new brainwave.

“I guess you could consider it an experiment within an experiment; one human with exceptional abilities and one who’s… well, with no offence meant to her… is perfectly average.” 

A thud and muffled yelling somewhere beyond the walls cut off the Devildom Prince. Lucifer groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“What have they done now?” he exhaled, exasperated.

Diavolo patted his shoulder, trying his best not to laugh at his friend’s distress.

“It’s never a dull moment here, is there?”

“Don’t remind me. Go ahead, you were explaining…”

“Oh yes. I figured it would be an excellent case study. How would the average human when compared to an angel or a demon? What help would they need and how much? If change is to happen, then we need to be on an equal footing across the realms.”

A/N Thank you for reading all the way to the end of this! This is the first writing project I have taken on since like 2012, and I’m nervous as all hecc. I would really appreciate any feedback you have to give or any questions and stuff, I won’t bite, and I’m always eager to improve. I hope this was a good read for you and I will try me best to update on a regular basis! - Jisa

Here’s the next entry!

https://tinyurl.com/mitosis-fic1-1 

And If you’d rather read it on Ao3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26415919/chapters/64353631

[razieltwelve]

On Subverting Expectations

You might have heard people talking about subverting expectations recently. Indeed, the phrase itself has become something of a meme recently given the, ahem, unfortunate ending of a certain famous television series. So today, I thought I’d talk a bit about what subverting expectations means and how it can be both a good thing and a bad thing.

In simple terms, subverting the expectations of the reader involves doing something they wouldn’t expect. When done properly, this can actually be a good thing. In fact, subverting expectations can be a great way to add humour to a story.

Consider my newest story, Attempted Vampirism. The protagonists of fantasy novels are typically strong, brave, and determined. More often than not they are also basically the ‘chosen one’, a person destined for greatness and success, a person who will change the world. When the protagonist is the complete opposite, someone who is fairly weak, not exactly brave, and only occasionally determined, well, that can be funny. The reader expects the protagonist to fit a certain mould, and the gap between their expectations and what they get becomes a source of amusement.

Imagine a story where the protagonist described their deadly foe in florid detail: a beast of indescribable ferocity, unmatched villainy, and raw, undiluted malevolence. Oh wait… it turns out the protagonist is describing his next door neighbour’s chihuahua, which just so happens to have a grudge against him. The difference between expectation and reality is what makes it funny.

The Unconventional Heroes Series is another good example of this. When you think of heroes, you probably don’t think of necromancers, pyromaniacal elves, and cowardly bureaucrats. Yet the fact that these characters are the heroes is part of what makes the story funny. Had the story played by the usual rules and used the usual heroic stereotypes, it almost certainly would not have been as entertaining.

That said, there are times when subverting expectations can be both obnoxious and potentially disastrous.

Consider a story in which a character is built up to be heroic. For the majority of the story, they act in a truly heroic way. They help the weak. They make decisions based on sound reasoning and justice. They fight to keep the peace and brings order to the world. And then, in the last ten pages of the book, they go insane and kill everybody.

You could say that the reader’s expectations have been subverted. Who would ever expect a twist like that at the end of a story? Unfortunately, the most likely reaction from readers would be one of dismay and dislike. You have subverted their expectations, but the subversion has come seemingly from nowhere. Simply doing the opposite of what a reader expects is not in and of itself a good thing. It becomes a good thing when it makes senses and improves the story. Defying expectations just for the sake of shock value is one of the easiest ways to ruin a story and anger your readers. That’s not to say that you can’t shock your readers. You most certainly can, and something like A Song of Ice and Fire is full of examples where the shocks advance the plot, flesh out the characters, and further build the world the story is set in.

I’ll give you another example. In The Unconventional Heroes Series, the unusual heroes are, despite their odd choice of occupations, decent people. Timmy does not go around murdering people for no reason, and he actually treats his apprentice, Katie, very well. This makes sense. He is, after all, one of the heroes of the story, and heroes are usually decent people. Would the story still be funny and amusing if I had subverted readers’ expectations and made Timmy a truly horrible person who was cruel to everyone for no reason at all? I don’t think so. In fact, I doubt anyone would be interested in reading a story like that. It wouldn’t be enjoyable, and it certainly wouldn’t be funny.

As these examples illustrates, there are times when subverting expectations is a good thing and times when it is a bad thing. If you are subverting expectations simply for shock value, then you may be doing your story and your readers a disservice. Always ask yourself, what do you and your readers gain from subverting their expectations.

If you want to read more about my thoughts on writing, education, and other subjects. You can find those here.

I also write original fiction, which you can find here. Also, in case you missed the announcement, I recently released Attempted Vampirism on Amazon. Please, check it out.

[my-dark-words]

To me, your blog is like a quiet forest. It's cozy, and peaceful, and a good place to relax while also having to worry about getting lost in the adventure.

An autumn forest?

With malevolent entities running around and an enthusiastic Chihuahua running around. 

[mindmmxvii]

Day two: Tofu

Actually, I lied. I didn’t have tofu today. I would like some now though so I thought it was an appropriate title. Let’s start off with a quick recap of my day...

Awaken to my laptop sitting next to me, after falling asleep attempting to write poetry, a single beam of light entering from the curtain slit landing directly on my face. I quickly retreat under the sheets and try to sleep off a little more of the day, funny as only a couple short weeks ago I actively sought to avoid sleep.

I meet Mike and her husband Bri on the 1st floor of their apartment and find we had to evacuate as their unscrupulous landlord scheduled a home visit an hour earlier than expected. We arrive at an awesome brunch spot with amazing Bloody Mary’s, after creating a new bff handshake in the car. We slug down our meal and rush back as to not miss my train.

Seeing as the train ride to Bloomington was so uneventful, I wasn’t expecting much on the way back. To my surprise I found a seat next to a graphic artists who works for Marvel! We spoke almost the entire train ride down about the work she did restoring old comics, our childhoods, and our thoughts on living in different cities.

We parted ways at the station where I met my loving mother who is currently dealing with a bout of strep throat. I was able to secure some drugs from Bri/Mike before I left as my Mother was currently taking 5 year old antiviral pills meant for a 4.3 Lbs. Chihuahua. Yeah. Anyway... She brought me back to my house and after some shop talk, I checked in on my Sister.

Now my sister Bek, has some developmental issues brought on by a lack of practical education after and during high school. Her issues are included in the list of many things I wish to improve or fix this year. I guess when you really get down to it, this is a self help blog more than anything. Me trying to reconstruct my past and see a better way to move forward. I’ll attack it like anything else that needs doing, with a good long list.

Address my surroundings/appearance

Clean my house and get inspections for sale

Sell house

Workout regimen

Whiten Teeth

Make cars legal

Redo budget

Assist struggling Family Members

Rehabilitate and find employment for Sister

Help Mum with her burdensome house

Fix health issues

Get PCP (primary care physician)

Find out what's wrong with me? (I’ll explain later)

Track calories/ Healthier diet

Better myself through outreach, understanding, and reflection

Daily Blog (this thing!)

Volunteering in community

Write a song or two

Write a short story

Write a poem

Write a haiku or two

Better myself through more practical means

Walk away from addictive Video Games

Reduced waste

Prep meals for week/reduce eating out

Answer some hard questions

When does babies/marriage make sense for me?

Do I want to move cities/countries?

Am I ready to embrace my future failures before it’s too late again?

learn to juggle (cuz fuck it... why not)

Wow. Yeah ok. You’re right, that’s a pretty long list and well buddy... There’s quite a bit I need to work out. I’ve made some pretty awful decisions last year and while I’d love to blame it all on the malevolent entity that is 2016, the truth is I need to work my shit out. We'll have plenty of time to elaborate on those inadequacies later. Perhaps it will be helpful to revisit those, cathartic at least I’m sure.

So let’s go through a handful really quick and talk about what we are tackling first...

Address my surroundings and appearance

This one is the easiest to describe and understand as it’s how we perceive almost everyone we meet. Basically I’m following the age of wisdom of “if you look good you feel good”. It’s a great start for me as I do feel better about “me” when I have a clean living space and or have some of the basics under control. Right now, I’m behind on quite a few things that I’ve basically let sit. Need to clean house, literally and figuratively.

Assist struggling Family Members

Again, another fairly straightforward concept. Family comes first right? Well, I could have been doing more to help and now I will. My mother feels trapped by her house and my sister needs help getting into the real world. So far, I’ve basically adopted my sister. She lives with me and I’ve got to find a way to connect her fantasies in her head with the realities around her. For now I have her focusing on some basic’s, a lot like the list of items from my surroundings and appearance category. More to come later.

Fix health issues

Hate to keep playing coy with you all but this is another topic I’m really not ready to discuss. My health has been neglected, but not necessarily in the typical manner. First step, find a doctor. I used NextDoor to find some reliable physicians. The community is so helpful so I have several options to go over tomorrow.

Better myself through outreach, understanding, and reflection

It’s easy to say that you can plop on someone's shoes and understand how they are feeling. For a long time I thought the same thing. I’m taking on some challenges that I hope will broaden my scope of understanding, giving me greater perspective when dealing with the people I love. Selfish decisions were made, though with what at the time seemed like justification, that hurt. It’s not the first time my decisions led me here, so I need to make sure I empathize and think while making major decisions.

I want figure myself out and express myself in ways I was unwilling to before. I want to take more pictures, where I shied away from them before... I want to reminisce on my past and embrace it even. I want to write down everything I am doing and thinking so I can look back over it and understand my evolution. I want to be just slightly more accepting person everyday so that when this is all over, I can safely look back and decide what balance of dark and light is appropriate. Perhaps even becoming a social sextant for life.

Better myself through more practical means

Phew ok. Putting the brakes back on for a bit here, basically there are things I could be doing that would mark me as a “better person”. I could prance around the streets singing about the extra little work I put in the try and lower my impact on my environment/others around me. Sounds delightful.

Starting this one by taking a break from all video games, save for the rare times I play Artemis with friends online. That’s mostly a social thing anyway. I have an addictive personality with hobbies, I’ll pick one up and devour all I can on it, only to leave it once I find something else. Jack of all, master of none. It’s manageable in most cases, yet with some games I can’t really ever consume it all, there will always be someone better or something new to learn. Many things were suffering from my addiction and I wasn’t real enough with myself to admit it was a problem. Going to stay away from all of them till I can figure out what’s best.

Reducing waste is a concept someone very close to me latched onto and it’s a very noble goal indeed. Something that you always joke about but never really embrace. Well, I’m going to try it on for size and see how it fits. I did the same thing with Vegetarianism several years ago and it stuck, so who knows. Some people go all the way with what’s called a “Zero Waste Challenge” but I’m going to take it a little more low key.  I’m not sure exactly what this means yet but I’ll keep you in the know. Building on that concept, I am also going to make more of my meals and plan them out, instead of Qdoba every day. Hummm now I want Qdoba...

Answer some hard questions

Yeash. Back to the big stuff. Ok folks, as I have said before, I currently do not have my shit together. I want to explore some major concepts to try and find out when I want to move on to the next big steps in my life. Again, we’ll find some of these later on after I’ve had time to research and talk with people.

Juggling is the last one. No practical purpose to this one, though has there ever been a practical purpose to juggling?

Ok. That’s it for me today. May not seem like it but this was about two hours of thoughts going to paper. Time to lie down hoping my sleepy self won’t decide to cause trouble. It’s an interesting ritual i’ve developed, prepping for sleep. Having all the pillows in just the right place and elevating my body in just the right manner so sleep me won’t feel the need to rock the boat. Anyway, going to cut this off here!

Cheers -Mind