#like a Ming vase but Italian

[beardedmrbean]

Wonder which Italian dynasty this belongs too,

[theartarium25]

Timeless Elegance: Luxury Home Decor Items to Elevate Your Living Space

Luxury home decor items are not just about extravagance but also about quality craftsmanship, exquisite materials, and timeless design. Elevate your living space with these curated selections that embody sophistication and opulence, transforming your home into a sanctuary of luxury.

1. Designer Furniture

Investing Luxury home decor furniture pieces is key to achieving a luxurious interior. Look for iconic designs crafted from premium materials such as Italian leather, solid hardwoods, or handcrafted metals. Pieces like Eames lounge chairs, Barcelona chairs, or Chesterfield sofas not only exude elegance but also offer exceptional comfort and durability. Online platforms and exclusive boutiques often showcase a variety of designer furniture collections that cater to different tastes and interior styles.

2. Artisanal Rugs and Carpets

Luxury rugs and carpets are more than just floor coverings—they are works of art that anchor your room with style and sophistication. Hand-knotted Persian rugs, Tibetan wool carpets, or silk rugs with intricate patterns and rich colors can add a sense of opulence to any space. Online galleries and specialty stores offer a wide selection of artisanal rugs, allowing you to choose pieces that complement your decor while showcasing the craftsmanship of skilled artisans.

3. Statement Lighting Fixtures

Illuminate your home with statement lighting fixtures that serve as both functional elements and artistic focal points. Crystal chandeliers, sculptural pendant lights, or minimalist designer lamps can enhance the ambiance of your living spaces. Opt for fixtures crafted from high-quality materials like Murano glass, brushed brass, or Swarovski crystals to create a luxurious atmosphere. Online retailers specializing in luxury lighting offer a range of styles from classic to contemporary, ensuring you find the perfect pieces to illuminate and elevate your home.

4. Luxurious Bedding and Linens

Transform your bedroom into a luxurious retreat with high-thread-count Egyptian cotton sheets, silk duvet covers, and plush velvet bedspreads. Luxury bedding sets not only provide unparalleled comfort but also elevate the aesthetic appeal of your bedroom. Look for renowned brands known for their craftsmanship and attention to detail. Online retailers often offer a curated selection of luxury linens in a variety of colors and textures, allowing you to create a sumptuous sanctuary for rest and relaxation.

5. Fine Art and Sculptures

Integrate fine art and sculptures into your decor to add a sense of sophistication and cultural richness. Original paintings, limited edition prints, or bespoke sculptures by renowned artists can become focal points that reflect your personal taste and style. Online art galleries and auction houses provide access to a diverse range of artworks, allowing you to curate a collection that resonates with your aesthetic sensibilities and enhances the luxury of your living space.

6. Antique and Collectible Decor

Incorporate antique furniture, vintage collectibles, or rare artifacts into your home decor to imbue it with a sense of history and exclusivity. Pieces such as antique French armoires, Ming dynasty porcelain vases, or Art Deco sculptures add a unique charm and timeless appeal to your interiors. Online auctions and specialty antique dealers offer a curated selection of rare and collectible items, making it possible to acquire treasures that enhance the luxury and uniqueness of your home.

7. Designer Tableware and Serveware

Elevate your dining experience with designer tableware and serveware crafted from fine materials such as bone china, sterling silver, or hand-blown glass. Luxury dinnerware sets, crystal glassware, and artisanal serving platters not only enhance your table settings but also reflect your refined taste and hospitality. Online luxury retailers often feature exclusive collections from renowned designers, allowing you to create memorable dining experiences with exquisite tableware that exudes elegance and sophistication.

8. Customized Home Accessories

Personalize your living space with customized home accessories that showcase your individuality and discerning taste. From bespoke throw pillows and embroidered linens to monogrammed bath towels and handcrafted decorative objects, customization adds a personal touch of luxury to your decor. Online platforms and specialty boutiques offer bespoke services where you can collaborate with artisans and designers to create one-of-a-kind pieces that elevate the luxury and uniqueness of your home.

9. Luxury Home Fragrances

Enhance the ambiance of your home with luxurious fragrances that evoke sophistication and tranquility. Choose from scented candles, reed diffusers, or room sprays crafted by renowned perfumers using high-quality ingredients. Luxury home fragrance brands offer a range of signature scents—from floral and citrusy to woody and oriental—that transform your living spaces into sensory retreats. Online retailers provide access to exclusive collections, allowing you to select fragrances that complement your interior decor and personal style.

10. Spa-Inspired Bath Essentials

Create a spa-like retreat in your bathroom with luxury bath essentials that pamper the senses and elevate your daily routine. Invest in plush bath towels, organic cotton bathrobes, and designer bath accessories crafted from fine materials like Turkish cotton or bamboo fibers. Online luxury retailers offer curated collections of spa-inspired bath essentials, allowing you to indulge in comfort and style while transforming your bathroom into a sanctuary of relaxation and rejuvenation.

Conclusion

Embrace the allure of luxury home decor items to create an environment that exudes sophistication, elegance, and comfort. Whether you're investing in designer furniture, artisanal rugs, fine art, or personalized accessories, each piece contributes to elevating the aesthetic appeal and ambiance of your living space. Online shopping provides unparalleled access to a diverse range of luxury home decor items, making it easier than ever to curate a home that reflects your refined taste and enhances your lifestyle. Choose wisely, and transform your home into a haven of timeless elegance and luxurious comfort.

[kiss-my-freckle]

Dialogues for @thesweetkeenlife

1x1

Red: Evidently someone with the authority to make decisions has arrived. I think I smell the stench of your cologne, Agent Cooper. Smells like hubris.

Red: You got rid of your highlights. You look much less Baltimore.

1x3

Red: So you went with the gray?

1x4

Red: That’s a pretty blouse.

1x7

Red: Agent Keen, I have a tip. You’re a winter, not an autumn. Stop wearing olive.

Red: You’d look positively radiant in a Guayabera dress. I know a little shop in Reston. We could stop before our flight.

Red: I brought you a souvenir. What’s your feeling about guava? Liz: Anxiety. Red: Oh, you’re in for a treat.

1x8

Red: I don’t know how you do it. I had that done once. I couldn’t bear the tickling.

Maltz: Ray, look at you. You look great. I mean, the elasticity is amazing. You been juicing? Red: Beets, mostly. Some celery, carrots, a lot of ginger. The kale makes me dyspeptic.

Red: I find it so reassuring - the movie stars, the pop singers. They really are just like the rest of us.

1x9

Red: Donald, never let it be said that I valued a Zegna Venticinque tie over a human life, even yours.

1x11

Red: Janice, my sincerest apologies. I’ll take a rain check on the Stroganoff. It smells delicious.

1x12

Red: We brought a little something for Julian - a care package. It’s a Tibetan singing bowl. What do we have here? Some jackfruit, vitamin D, kola nuts. But we’ve got to get him to eat more protein. He looks like hell. He isn’t vegan, is he? Anyway, I’ve also included a couple of my favorite Richard Pryor records. I want to try and inject a little levity into the proceedings. I mean, Julian looks so crabby all the time. House arrest can be grueling. Borakove: Didn’t you spend, like, four months - in Phonthong? Red: Seven. Borakove: How did you survive? Red: Naps. Occasional calisthenics.

Red: If I tell you, you have to promise me you’ll try the fertilized duck eggs. It’s a daring and unique dining experience. You’ll think you’ve died and gone to hell.

1x14

Red: Who decided on this paneling?

Red: You smell nice. Something new?

Red: Wow! And I like your clutch.

1x17

Red: This piroshki is delicious.

1x18

Red: I come bearing gifts - pimento cheese sandwiches, toasted with the crusts cut off. Eartha Kitt’s recipe. It’s a fantastic story.

2x1

Red: It looks so soft. Shea butter?

2x2

Red: Lizzy! I’d like to introduce you to my manicurist, Rosa Heredia. She’s the one I was telling you about, who was dating that nine-fingered bullfighter from Juarez. This woman is an artist, trained at the Latin-American school of medicine in Havana.

2x11

Red: Oh, that’s a shame. She’s gonna miss the most tantalizingly delicious khorem baklava.

2x12

Red: Oh, that’s a shame. Dendrobium? Ruth: My own hybrid. I call them “Snows of Everest.” Red: Lovely.

2x14

Red: You've changed your hair.

Red: Come on. I got to be worth as much as that fake Xuande Ming vessel was. Yaabari: 18. Red: Sorry, Santos, but those cat’s eye Chrysoberyls are brown, not green. An expensive forgery, but a forgery nonetheless. 20!

3x1

Red: I must say, your hair, the way it frames your face is very becoming.

3x2

Red: You have no idea what I’ve offered Chui to divulge the secret of this recipe. He won’t say. I suspect it has something to do with how he beats his eggs.

3x6

Red: I love mauve, but a soft creamy yellow will just open up the entire room.

3x8

Red: You didn’t find anything. Jilly found it ’cause you’re too dense to even look for it. No wonder Cash doesn’t trust you with anything more important than babysitting. T-bone: That’s big talk coming from a g-guy who’s -

3x12

Red: Yeah. Oh, I should probably mention, I booked a pregnancy massage for you. She’ll be here at 9:00. Her name’s Edwina, she’s a registered nurse, and she smells absolutely divine. I hope it goes with the rest of your stuff. I’m told it pulls out.

3x13

Red: I se your new home is a work in progress. What colors are you considering?

3x17

Red: Came together rather nicely. They went with ruby fringe tulips and pink peonies.

3x20

Red: I was just imagining young Katarina covered in glitter. As an adult, it’s easy to dismiss this stuff as girlish frivolity. You forget the wonder it creates, the light captured, secret wishes evoked. It renders even the darkest days sparkly. Never underestimate the power of glitter.

3x21

Red: They say gifting a bouquet of daffodils ensures happiness, while presenting just one means bad luck is on the horizon.

4x7

Red: You looked absolutely ravishing the other night. What do you do to stay in such incredible shape? Calisthenics? Or Jazzercise? Maybe we should be workout partners. I’ll see you in dance class, Samar.

4x18

Red: So I get a babysitter now? I haven’t had a babysitter since Brenda Gilroy. My God, pot pies, Lawrence Welk, bath time with Brenda. Still my perfect Saturday night.

5x1

Smokey: Sorry it took so long. Once I knew Humberto had your African friend and his chums in transpo, I stopped for some Bengay ointment. Think I overdid it with my back. Red: I use Epsom salt baths.

5x2

Red: Oh, my goodness. Look at those Guan vases. And that flatware. Did you know Nancy Reagan - She could dress a table specifically for that night’s guest at a moment’s notice. Russian Silver for a tea with Gorbachev, Italian silver stag-head stirrup cups for a last-minute supper with Sinatra. Can you imagine?

Liz: What color is that, pumpkin? It looks like a pumpkin. Red: His wife says it’s Tuscan Sunset.

5x10

Red: Paris, I’d like you to meet Elizabeth. Paris and I first met when he was a saucier at La Bernadin. Liz: Pleasure to meet you. Paris: Shall I set a third place for lunch? Liz: No, thank you. Red: You may want to think twice. He’s making a turbot with a matsutake mushroom broth.

5x12

Red: What makes her happy? Does she like a good foot massage?

5x15

Red: Maybe a massage parlor. The athletes would love it!

5x16

Red: Mr. Garvey, might I suggest you enjoy what little time you have left - crab cakes, scalp massages, perhaps a double feature of “The 400 Blows” and “Jules and Jim” - whatever floats your boat. Do it now, because I will find those bones, and when I do, I’m gonna kill you.

5x17

Red: I hope you have indigestion. Liz: No. But if it makes you feel better, I’m in a bad mood. Red: Excellent! Dembe: He’s making fenugreek porridge. My ancestors learned that it can cure a troubled stomach and soothe aches and pains. Red: Medicinal South Sudanese cuisine. Liz: Cooking it up in their embassy’s kitchen. Aren’t you living large?

5x19

Red: This apartment. Right here. Oh. My God. To have been the proverbial fly on Clyde Tolson’s duvet. Liz: Clyde Tolson lived here? J. Edgar Hoover’s lover? Red: This was their secret hideaway. Imagine the conversations. Cooing over JFK’s lovers. Slandering Dr. King. What peignoir to wear to bed. When I saw the apartment was for sale, I couldn’t resist. Liz: You own the apartment where the homophobic head of the FBI carried on his affair with his boyfriend? Red: Allegedly. I wouldn’t admit this in mixed company, but J. Edgar and I have a surprising amount in common. For instance, we both always get our man.

Red: What’s that smell? Is that lavender?  And mint. Is that your head? What kind of products do you use? I’m dying of curiosity. Garvey: Wouldn’t that be nice. Red: You smell that? Dembe: Yes. It’s lovely. Red: I’ll say. Absolutely lovely. Whatever it is, you and I need to get some.

5x22

Red: Oh. A lightweight merino. Super 120, natural stretch. I swear by it.

Waters: So, what do you think of this one? Red: Oh, John, yes. I like that. But go with the Snowy River Collection in the Glen Urquhart plaid. It worked for the Duke of Windsor. And, just my opinion, consider a vest. Waters: You think? Are vests in again? Red: Vests have never been out.

6x4

Vega: Yeah. I also got the blade that’s gonna carve you like a pumpkin. Red: Jack-o’-lantern. Vega: Huh? Red: A pumpkin is a gourd. A jack-o’-lantern is the carved pumpkin. Either way, it doesn’t matter. I knew what you meant.

6x5

Baldwin: One. I arrested that man there, in the navy-blue suit. Sima: May the record reflect the witness has identified the defendant. Red: Uh, o-objection. Judge Wilkins: Grounds? Red: The suit is actually a prunelle weave blue with a subtle overlay of red. So in the right light, it goes quite plum.

[dekorcompanys]

12 Simple Ideas and affordable home decoration ideas

We are back with our latest edition on affordable home decor ideas. This time we have gone beyond to come up with 12 simple tips and tricks which could be done with the help of Dekor Company. It’s the perfect time to revamp our homes as festivals are around the corner. Without costing much on your budget, these home decoration items online have been selected by experts, so you need not worry if they will work in your house or not. Big or compact, they work everywhere.

So, let’s get started!

1.  Mix it up on the walls

Canvas wall art, hand-painted wall art, shadow boxes, wall mirrors, metal wall art, vintage clocks, and your photographs, pick everything and place them on your wall. Mix it up! Turn any wall be it the passageway or corridor walls into a gallery wall with little oomph and excess of clutter. Because this clutter is fashionable. Wall decor pieces at Dekor Company are just stunning. Beautifully crafted, intricately detailed & polished, and supported with sturdy hardware; nothing like ordinary.

2.  Cozy lighting

We always repeat that lighting in the house can make a big difference. Make sure that along with a lot of natural light coming in throughout the day, your house has ample candle effervescence. Use our jade decorative candle stands, marble candle stands, and multiple pieces decorative candle stands like “The Wave Inspired five-piece Decorative Candle Stand” and “The Three Piece Criss Cross Decorative Candle Stand”. You can even use this tip to add a romantic feel to your house.

3.  Green green

One of the simplest, easiest, and the most affordable way to add aesthetics to your home is to make it go green. Add plants —be it hanging plants, big indoor plants, faux plants, plant frames, or succulents. If you wish to incorporate fragrance and floral touch, add flowers too. Orchids, lilies, roses or sunflowers, all look elegant in a Dekor Company flower vase. There are handblown glass and ceramic vases such as “The Emerald Rainforest Handblown Glass Decorative Vase - Big”, “The Abstract Urn Ceramic Decorative Vase - Set of 2”. If you want to add something antique or a piece inspired from 17th & 18th century to your decor, prefer “The Rustic Charm Ceramic Decorative Vase - Big”, “The Moroccan Tajine Ceramic Decorative Vase - Big”, “Ming Dynasty Blue-White Ceramic Vase”. There are modern and abstract pieces as well for the youth of today. Choose what you like!

4.  Furniture

The first thing a man notices in the house is furniture. If you have enough budget, you can look for changing big furniture pieces like sofa, dining table, bed, coffee table like “The Roman Rectangular Marble Coffee Table - ROSE GOLD”, but if the budget is tight you can try these options. The first option is to buy accent furniture like lounge chairs - “The Italian Pleated Accent lounge Chair”, double-decker accent table - “The Mystique Tube Double Decker Accent Table”, console table - “The Square Piped Double Decker Console Table” and many more. These are premium furniture pieces in Italian style, polished in rose gold and strong stainless steel & marble.

5.  Mirror as decor statement

If you are suffering from the issue of a compact home then try wall mirrors. Wall mirrors magnify interior space, open it up, and brightens the overall ambiance. Here at Dekor Company, you will find big mirror’s with unique frames - “The Sunburst Decorative Wall Mirror” and hanging mirrors - “Classic Round Pendulum Mirror”. Let them be reflections of your lovely home.

6.  Switch the carpets

Carpets are not only adorning, but also offer a great way to make a room cozier & comfier. Use different types and styles of carpets and rugs in a room to create interesting effects. For an instance try “The Blue Oriental Floor Rug 5 X 7.5 ft”, “The Galaxy Floor Rug 6.5 X 9.5 ft”, and “Yazlyn Abstract Rug 5 x 7.5 ft”. These are few contemporary and abstract rugs made of supreme fabric, brilliantly knit, and are easy to maintain. For the existing carpets, just try switching their locations.

7.  Add new ottomans

Ottomans are new-age stools that are completely upholstered from top to toe. They are super comfy and extremely stylish. Dekor Company ottomans come in velvet fabric which is extra soft. A great addition to any room, they are not only functional but decorative as well. Also, you get a myriad of designs to choose from in Dekor Company online store for example “Chaise Velvet Green ottoman”, “The Parisian Blue Velvet Round Ottoman”, “The three-legged Lake District Ottoman”, etc.

8.  Decorate the corridor

Corridors and hallways are often forgotten when it comes to interior decoration. Not today! One of the most affordable ways to revamp your home decor is by styling your corridors. Use statement wall art pieces like canvas wall art, shadow boxes, and hand-painted paintings. It accounts for creating a warm & homely atmosphere as soon as one enters the house.

9.  Fake flowers

If you don’t have time to take care of indoor flower plants that you were thinking to buy for home decor then opt for fake flowers. Faux flowers look quite real, last long, and hardly require any care or maintenance, hence are a great decor investment. Doing so use Dekor Company vases to keep them like “The Blue and Green Sandblasted Handblown Glass Decorative Vase”, “Naomi Antique Green Ceramic Vase - Small”, etc. These are beautifully sculpted from ceramic and handblown glass and take their inspiration from the grandeur of the Royal Parisian, Italian, and ancient Chinese interiors.

10.              Revamp bathroom

It’s an old saying that one’s bathroom speaks volumes about his hygiene & personality. When such is the case then why leave the bathroom dull? Get a new shower curtain, colored towels, and other bathroom accessories like “Modern Reindeer Motif Bathroom Accessories”. Sleek and classic, this trendy bathroom set of 5 adds a fresh clean look to your bathroom. The royal jade green color and gold detailing itself speaks how adorning it is. You can even opt for bathroom wall decor by installing pieces like “The Coastal Oasis Mix Shadow Box”, “Abstract Landscape Hand Painted Wall Painting”. Change the feel of the bathroom without having to spend too much money!

11.              Rearrange bookshelves

Cluttered and dirty bookshelves make your house messy and chaotic. So immediately clean bookshelves and rearrange the books. You could even make it noteworthy with stunning showpieces like “The Karmic Yogi Table Decoration Showpiece”, “Rainy Day Bunny Decorative Showpiece - Yellow”, “Girl with a bow & balloon Decorative Showpiece”, etc. Delicately made from resin, these pieces grab the attention of even the nonreaders and without needing any floor space, a decor statement is created by them. People are often drawn to looking at bookshelves because of their love for books, hence make your bookshelf glamorous! 

12.              Kitchen art

Kitchen art includes kitchen wall art, homeware, paneling, and various hardware fixtures. Since most of the kitchens are modular these days, let’s look at the styling aspect. Wall art like “The Tropical Butterfly Kaleidoscope Shadow Box Wall Decoration Piece” & “The White and Gold Tree of Life Shadow Box Wall Decoration Piece (Yin Yang Design)” bring positivity to the ambiance. You can also install Dekor Company wooden and marble wall shelves if space allows and decorate with “The Green Pina Colada Table Decoration Showpiece”. For the homeware, opt for “Evoke Metal kitchen Storage Jars- Red”, “Glistening Blue Starfish Lidded Storage Jar Set of 2 - Small”, “Glace Reindeer Holder Ceramic Snack Bowl”, “Polk Street Air Tight Bread Box - Red”, etc. There are many more homeware items available in our store which are panache in looks and food-safe in usage. Make your cooking experience comforting & fabulous with Dekor Company NOW.

Source-url:  https://www.dekorcompany.com/blogs/news/12-simple-ideas-and-affordable-home-decoration-ideas

[hopesoldcomicblog]

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw

A.N. Jason's significant other finds out Jason is back from the dead. hilarity ensues. inspired by an ask on @uncpanda

“well fuck me gently with a chainsaw.”

That was all you could say when faced with the person in front of you eating the banana bread you had made earlier that night. You heard Alfred yell at you from the other room. Something about being ladylike and swearing, you loved the guy you’d think he’d be more forgiving considering your dead boyfriend, your un-dead boyfriend was eating your food.

“sorry Alfred.” You called. You stared at the person in front of you, he was leaning against the (expensive, custom made, Italian) granite counter top shoveling the remainder of your baked good into his mouth. Crumbs dribbled down his now strong jawline, his more green than blue eyes stared into your (e/C) orbs with a mix of fear, nervousness, happiness and sheer confusion. You put your hand on your hips looking up at the taller man who had just been a boy when he ha been taken away. A smirk found it’s way to his face and he reached out to pull you into hug. You accepted the hug.

“Oh hay bab-“ he was trying to press his lips against your jawline, you placed your hands in between you and his lips as a barrier.

“don’t ‘Hey babe’ me Jason Peter Todd. You faked your death for five years, didn’t tell me, ate all of my banana bread and you told literally everyone else in the family except your romantic partner. Oh excuse me former significant other and ex-fiance. Couldn’t you at least have had the decency to warn me? Or tell me? Why did you tell him and not me.” Your finger jabbed at his chest as your venomous words poured out. Each question grew in coldness. You pulled off your simple engagement ring and through it at his chest. It bounced off and rolled to the floor. After you were done there was a silence shared between the two of you as the iciness of your words and actions settled

“(y/n) I ca-“ before he could explain you spun on your heels. He followed you out of the kitchen and into the living room attempting to explain himself. He grabbed your wrist, you spun around and grabbed the nearest item. Which happened to be a vase filled with lilies and water and dumped the contents on you on him. you then flung the vase at a the wall (narrowly) missing Jason’s head as it smashed against the wall.

“that’s for my banana bread you bastard.” You yelled as you stormed away leaving the black haired man in a puddle of water and trampled flowers.

Bruce found you in the batcave reading photo albums in a pile of used tissues and chocolate wrappers. He sat down next to you and carefully moved the stack of photo albums next to him.

“so Alfred told you.” You sniffled as you pulled your legs up to your chest.

“actually no, the shouting, broken ming dynasty vase and a wet Jason lead me into the direction that you had.”

“sorry about the vase.” You murmured into your knees not meeting your mentor’s gaze.

“it’s okay, I can get another one. Its one of the perks of being a multi-billionaire.” He winked at you in a succeeded attempt to cheer you up. “you know he actually did die, he was actually dead. The joker did murder him and we did bury Jason. It was Ra’s who brought him back using the pit.” You sat up straight, stared at him your hands balled up taking your shirt in your hands in an attempt to keep your fists from shaking. Tears began to well up in your eyes threatening to pool over your (s/t) cheeks.

“How long?”

“what?”

“how long have you known?” your voice was slipping into the same cold tone from before.

“Three months.” Bruce said sheepishly refusing to meet your gaze. You let out a small chuckle.

“looks like everyone in this family knew that my boyfriend has been alive for three months except me.”

“if it helps Barbara slapped him.”

“it doesn’t but thanks for the sentiment. How did you find out?” you had a small smile on your face as you stared at your father figure.

“You know the Red Hood?” Bruce asked as he rested his hands in his lap.”Well, while you were away in Europe three months ago on that mission for Barbara we caught him red handed-“

“pun intended?” you asked grinning. He nodded and continued with his story.

“he told us not to tell you because he wanted to do it himself. He wanted to apologize and woo you, his words not mine. I was so overwhelmed by having him back I never questioned it. I loved having my son back, I should have understood that you would want to have his lover back too. (y/n), Jason loves you, so please give him a chance to redeem himself. Please give me a chance to redeem myself.” Bruce’s words were gentle as he took your hand and placed your ring in the palm of your hand.

“Thanks Bruce” you said as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. The two of you stood up and parted ways. Him to wherever the hell Bruce spends his free time that wasn’t the bat cave and you to Jason’s room. You opened the door to the room that had been left in almost museum-esque condition after his death. There you found Jason asleep on the almost bed that had been too large for sixteen year old Jason and now seemed like a doll bed for the new man. There were tear marks on his cheeks and a few new scars. His face seemed older, more worn, more scarred. You ran your fingers through his hair playing with the new white streak that according to Bruce had been a product of the Lazarus pit. He needed to touch up his roots, the strawberry blonde was sticking out from underneath the dark hair. You ran your fingers down his forehead, down his face, you touched his jaw. His stubble stabbed your soft thumbs.

Your hands ran down his neck, down his chest to the ‘Y’ shaped scar across his bare chest. You gently touched the white scar tissue, he stirred before his eyes flashed open. He grabbed your wrist before he was able to register who it was.

“(y/n)”. you nodded. You stared at him, he loosed the grip on your wrist not meeting your gaze. You wrapped your arms around him, burying your face in the crook of his neck. Tears pricked your vision as both of you sat there gripping each other like you could be ripped apart at any moment.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” And then he kissed you. It was a slow Hollywood kiss, corny and gentle. He pulled away and then nestled his nose into your (color) hair.”you changed your shampoo.” He murdered as he breathed in, you nodded.

“hey babe, I’m sor-“ you cut him off with a feverish kiss. It was rough and passionate, you straddled him as you carefully held his hand in yours. You pulled away breathing heavily.

“Shush, Bruce explained everything.” You kissed him again, it was slower but still passionate. And then suddenly clothes were coming off and kisses were being shared under the covers.

He held you in his scar littered arms, your breathing matched eachother’s. your arms wrapped around his well defined waist as you both stared at each other (e/c) meeting aqua eyes. Both of you were smiling like idiots, like nothing was wrong.

“you kept the ring.”

“yeah, it felt wrong to get rid of it, to love someone else. To finally let you go, to finally except that you were actually gone.” He pulled you closer.

“I’m sorry I had to leave. But I’m back now and that’s what matters.”

“I’m glad you’re back.” You nudged your nose against his chest.”so Red Hood?” you teased.

“Yeah.” He grinned back.” I thought it was ironic. You know? Taking on the mantle of the man who killed me. Also aren’t you a little young to be making 80s chic flick references” He said with a wink.

“We’re literally the same fucking age Todd, also Heathers is a cinematic masterpiece. But seriously this explains the flirting. I was honestly starting to get freaked out that murderous, mentally unhinged, vigilante actually had a thing for me.” You said with a smirk.

“He does” Jason pressed a sloppy, wet kiss against your cheek.

“you know what I mean.” You teased back playfully swatting at him.” but I guess you can’t resist me”

“what can I say I’m a sucker for (h/c) haired cuties in skintight costumes with daddy issues and a thing for orphans” You said as he rubbed his freckled nose against your neck affectionately.

“You’re supposed to be my lover, not an asshole”

”I can be both. Ready for round two?” he said with a smirk his green-y blue eyes clouded over with lust.

“only if you bake me a replacement banana bread. I needed that for a meeting I have tomorrow.”

“don’t talk about work when I’m about to make love to you, you moron. Also consider it done” Jason said as he kissed you.

[lslbrigade]

Some people say I have a weakness for the “Opulent”. But I think that’s not true at all. I just love hotels with flair and a special touch. Whether trendy or futuristic, homey and traditional or just those in which lords and celebrities would sleep. Castle hotels and those with a long tradition have a certain charisma for me.

Around 1900, the first so-called “Grand Hotels” appeared. Legendary was the pomp and the personalities in this epoch. Sure you can feel that in some luxury hostels until today. So it was probably no coincidence when we opted for the Art Deco Hotel “Grand Hotel des Iles des Borromées” in Stresa, on Lake Maggiore. Our hotel check.

View over the Lake Maggiore to the old town of Stresa.

A popular holiday resort – the first tourists

Many of these grand hotels that still exist, have been built around the year 1900. However, at that time there was no standard, regarding equipment and services. The only benchmark of all things was infinite comfort, the latest technologies, and service at its best. So the first palace hotels came to life and become soon the hotspot of the celebrities. 

Rich cloth merchants from Italy and many well-known artists and royals discovered Lake Maggiore at the beginning of the 19th century. Tuberculosis had broken out again in Europe and the medicine had an idea that an alpine health resort could give the pulmonary sufferers quick relief of the symptoms. The Lago Maggiore also has a very special stimulating climate. First, the first exclusive health resorts were created before the likely first royal patients began to rave about the area. 

You can visit the neoclassical lake villa with its beautiful botanical gardens.

The high nobility discovers Lake Maggiore

The Russian tsarist family, the Italian and Austrian aristocracy shown up around 1900. Hemingway and other artists preferred the beautiful scenery to be creative.

First families from the Italian and Austrian nobility began to let build their summer seats on the shores of the enchanting Alpine lake. The architecture is reading like the “who is who of architects guild” of the 19th century. Soon, the rich upper class followed and finally, it became the hotspot to more famous people spending the summer on this turquoise blue Lake Alps. 

As always ahead was Ernest Hemingway, who recovered from a war wound here. Later he came back again several times. In one of his novels, A Farewell to Arms, Stresa and the Grand Hotel plays a big role. Even today he is a guarantee for beautiful locations for me.

The Hotel Today

The opulently furnished reception of the Gand Hotel des Iles Borromees. We just checked in and I take a snapshot of Peter.

Such a kind is the Artdeco Hotel “Grand Hotel Illes des Borromees”. Long tradition overlooks illustrious guests who spent their holidays in the suites of the luxury hotel. Including all sorts of nobility and artists. The owners have always been enthusiastic art collectors, and over the years they have created a considerable collection of arts, whose replicas still adorn the hotel and its corridors. Some of it is even an original. 

So your eye has a lot to process once you check-in at this hotel. I can once associate the classicism style to Art Deco. So the mirrors and wainscoting of the lobby and lobby itself are definitely from that era. The hallways in the suites are filled with a variety of different centuries and from all over the world. From the Ming vase to Venetian fans in flat glass showcases, there is a lot to discover. The carillon sounds softly from the garden, which invites you to enjoy a walk and it is also a popular spot for tourists.

The carillon is like a huge musical clock, you can walk into. It plays every full hour.

The suites and rooms – Inside the Grand Hotel

Latest if you open your own hotel room you will be aware, that the luxury Interieur will continue until the last corner of your suite. Venetian furniture, Art Nouveau and fine silk fabrics on the walls give the room a cozy cuddly ambiance. Heavy velvet curtains keep out the heat of the summer and give the rooms a heavy, sleepy, comfy character. 

For me, too much for good and the very first thing I do is to start pushing back the heavy brocades and let in the view of a wonderful landscape, promenades and gardens around the lake and welcome the daylight into the fenced rooms. 

Our suite has a salon, a small dressing room, a large bedroom and a spacious bathroom with an art deco tub. However, as a guest, you do not have to deal without the conveniences of a modern hotel. Wi-Fi, TV, air conditioning and minibar are usual standards.

#gallery-0-4 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-4 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 50%; } #gallery-0-4 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-4 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

View into the bedroom with a tiny balconary.

A Canopy Bed invites me for a nap.

Nice big bathrooms with enough light and space for our stuff.

Beautiful tile motifs can be found in the bathroom above the bathtub.

The salon of our suite is designed in Bordeaux red and a lot of velvet.

Beside some replicas I can find some awesome originals.

A replica of a 19th century secretary

A small reading area or a place for breakfast in the room.

Murano glass decorates the ceiling, like this chandelier and lamps.

Some fruits from the Customer Relation. Thank you!

The view atop the balustrade of the small balcony onto the lake is perfect. The lake is perfectly symmetrical and the horizon is almost exactly lined on the left and right by the slopes of the mountains. The architect has had an idea about where to place the building. 

View from the balcony of the suite at the Grand Hotel des Iles des Borromees.

Facilities and Entertainment

While the guest from the past might have been more focussed on social events, such as balls, home concerts and receptions great, nowadays the entertainment program changed a bit. Today, the request for the so-called facilities is enormous. The beautiful outdoor pool has several basins. A diving tower basin and a long lap pool. Here, the swimming enthusiast can enjoy. The spa is classy and various exclusive treatments can not only enhance your look, but all kinds of rejuvenating therapies are available.

Outside Pool area with a diving tower of the Grand Hotel des Iles Borromees

At the small cafe, you can overlook the pool. Here you can have smaller snacks, or take a good cappuccino.

Culinary and public area

At the culinary side, there is no lack. The two large rooms can hold many hungry guests without feeling lost in them. The carpets swallow the sound and the large windows vary with mirrors and murals. Also very tasteful are the floristic decorations, on which the management obviously deeming it important. The large terraces can be reached by large, open glass doors and the view of the lake, the promenade and the carefully maintained small park in between are beautiful. 

The menu is well balanced and only from the best. No matter if you like to have a good piece of meat looking forward to good sea fish or seafood, prefer freshly caught fish from the lake, or even give preference to vegetarian and vegan dishes.

The breakfast is accompanied by a sumptuous buffet, egg dishes on request and freshly cooked according to your wishes. Juices, fruits, and the fine, original Prosciutto are waiting to calm your morning appetite.

Our choice: A fine Chateaubriand to celebrate our first evening.

Dessert

The guests

Most of the guests are international – a striking number of Americans and English were checked in here at our time (July). Smart dressed, calm, elegant. Only a few kids and if so, then very well behaved and pleasant. The atmosphere is classy.

For some, who are not used to it every day, maybe a bit exhausting.

When the staff thinks they are nobler than the actual guest

Especially with the staff I noticed something negative. Even if they try to be friendly noncommittal, I can’t deny the feeling that waiters and the concierge sometimes leave me the impression, that they are nobler than the guest himself and show this to you. Smaller complaints are accepted – but with raised eyebrows, I had the feeling that they take this very personally. Also, delicacies, like the fine Italian Prosciutto, are guarded of the stuff during the breakfast buffet. They reminded me of pit bulls and left an unpleasant impression.

After all, the high-level pricing of the accommodation is just as “sophisticated” as the entire establishment and these strange restraints have been extremely irritating for us.

Also, the concierge shows off more by a lack of imagination and arrogance, then really confirms his commitment to requests and wishes. If you arrive by car, and you need it later for excursions or other necessities, you should order it early by the concierge. Otherwise, you need to wait a very long time.

These are the only minus-points I experienced in a dream hotel, that I’d still recommend to you.

*This article contains advertising by attribution. The stay was self-financed.

Most beautiful Hotels worldwide - Italy Lake Maggiore our brand new hotel check. #wonderfulhotels #beautifulhotels #Italy #lagomaggiore Some people say I have a weakness for the "Opulent". But I think that's not true at all.

[thesassybooskter]

THE LADY TRAVELERS GUIDE TO LARCENY WITH A DASHING STRANGER by Victoria Alexander: Spotlight & Excerpt

NOW AVAILABLE/HARLEQUIN

Join the Lady Travelers Society in their latest romantic misadventure, from #1 New York Times bestselling author Victoria Alexander

She must secure her future 

A lady should never be obliged to think of matters financial! But when Lady Wilhelmina Bascombe’s carefree, extravagant lifestyle vanishes with the demise of her husband, her only hope lies in retrieving a family treasure—a Renaissance masterpiece currently in the hands of a cunning art collector in Venice. Thankfully, the Lady Travelers Society has orchestrated a clever plan to get Willie to Europe, leading a tour of mothers and daughters…and one curiously attentive man.

He must reclaim his heritage 

Dante Augustus Montague’s one passion has long been his family’s art collection. He’s finally tracked a long-lost painting to the enchanting Lady Bascombe. Convinced that the canvas had been stolen, he will use any means to reclaim his birthright—including deception. But how long before pretend infatuation gives way to genuine desire?

Now they’re rivals for a prize that will change everything 

Willie and Dante know they’re playing with fire in the magical moonlit city. Their common quest could compromise them both…or lead them to happily-ever-after. 

Buy Online: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Kobo | iBooks

Add to Goodreads

  Excerpt

“Perhaps, Wilhelmina—” Poppy chose her words with care “—now is not the appropriate time for a trip abroad.”

“On the contrary, Poppy, this is not merely the ap­propriate time but it’s imperative that I leave as soon as possible.”

“Are you in some sort of danger?” Poppy’s brows drew together. “Have those beastly creditors threatened you in some way?” Her expression darkened. “I daresay between Lady Blodgett, Mrs. Higginbotham and myself we can probably come up with a name or two of some disrepu­table types who might be able to—”

“No, no,” Willie said quickly. “It’s nothing like that. As I said, I have already paid off George’s debts and I have enough left to repay a loan and reclaim something of great importance to me. Well, to my future really.” Wil­lie paused for a moment to consider her words. She did so hate to make George appear more of a disappointment than he was but it really couldn’t be helped. Besides, he was dead and probably would be more amused than an­noyed by her revelations. And she did need to look out for herself now. After all, aside from two loyal servants and an elderly relative, she was on her own. “When I began to sell, er, take inventory of the furnishings in the Lon­don house—something I admit I should have done years ago—I became aware that a few somewhat valuable ob­jects were missing. A small Ming vase from China, an exquisite snuffbox that reportedly belonged to a queen of France and a painting left to me by Grandmother.”

Poppy gasped. “Not the Portinari!”

Willie wrinkled her nose. “I’m afraid so.”

“Your grandmother loved that painting.”

Poppy and Willie’s grandmother Beatrice had gone to school together and had remained fast friends through­out the rest of Grandmother’s life, even if their lives had taken entirely different courses. Grandmother had mar­ried the Earl of Grantson, who died far too young and never lived to see his only child—Willie’s mother—past her third birthday. Poppy, of course, had married Mal­colm Fitzhew-Wellmore and had become—according to Grandmother—shockingly independent as her hus­band was out of the country as often as he was home. As Grandmother had made that pronouncement with what sounded suspiciously like envy, Willie understood that being an independent woman—while not especially ac­cepted by society—was not a particularly bad thing ei­ther. Beatrice and Poppy did manage to see one another several times a year. Some of the brightest memories of Willie’s childhood were of those meetings between the two old friends.

When Willie’s mother died when Willie was barely ten, she was sent off to Miss Bicklesham’s Academy for Accomplished Young Ladies. It was to her grandmother’s house she returned for holidays and the summer months. Even if her father seemed to have little use for her in those years, Willie had no doubt as to the affections of her grandmother, her godmother and dear Lady Plumdale.

“Do you have any idea what might have happened to it? Was it stolen, do you think?”

“Not exactly.” Once again Willie was reluctant to place the blame on George where it belonged. This was her late husband’s doing and she wouldn’t pause for a moment to point an accusing finger at him if he were still alive. But one did hate to speak ill of the dead even when they deserved it. “According to some correspondence and a note of collateral I discovered in George’s study, he used the Portinari to acquire a loan from an Italian gentleman. A conte, I believe, a resident of Venice and apparently a passionate collector of Renaissance art. I have enough left from the sale of the country house to repay the loan as well as the accumulated interest.” She drew a deep breath. “What I don’t have is the means to get to Venice.”

  About Victoria Alexander

New York Times bestselling author Victoria Alexander was an award winning television reporter until she discovered fiction was much more fun than real life. She turned to writing full time and is still shocked it worked out.

Victoria claims her love of romance and journalism is to due to the influence of her favorite comic book character: Lois Lane, a terrific reporter and a great heroine who pursued Superman with an unwavering determination. And why not? He was extremely well drawn.

Victoria grew up traveling the world as an Air Force brat. Today, she lives in Omaha, Nebraska with her husband and her dogs. Victoria had two bearded collies, Sam and Louie (named from characters in one of her books). Sam (on the left), the best dog in the world for 13 ½ years, passed away in September 2010. Louie took on the position of loyal companion and did a fine job even though he doesn't understand that kitchen counter surfing is not allowed!

Now he's been joined by Reggie, also a faithful companion.

They all live happily ever after in a house under constant renovation and the accompanying parade of men in tool belts. And never ending chaos. Victoria laughs a great deal—she has to.

Website | Twitter | Facebook | Goodreads

  Follow the Tour

Friday, December 1st: View from the Birdhouse

Friday, December 1st: The Sketchy Reader – spotlight/excerpt

Monday, December 4th: Moonlight Rendezvous

Tuesday, December 5th: Reading Reality

Wednesday, December 6th: Books a la Mode – spotlight/excerpt

Thursday, December 7th: The Romance Dish

Friday, December 8th: What I’m Reading

Monday, December 11th: A Chick Who Reads

Tuesday, December 12th: The Sassy Bookster – spotlight/excerpt

Wednesday, December 13th: From the TBR Pile

Wednesday, December 13th: BTH Reviews

Thursday, December 14th: Blogging with A

Friday, December 15th: OMG Reads

Monday, December 18th: A Holland Reads

Tuesday, December 19th: A Night’s Dream of Books

Wednesday, December 20th: Jathan & Heather

Thursday, December 21st: Books & Bindings

Friday, December 22nd: Book Reviews and More by Kathy

  THE LADY TRAVELERS GUIDE TO LARCENY WITH A DASHING STRANGER by Victoria Alexander: Spotlight & Excerpt was originally published on The Sassy Bookster

[kiss-my-freckle]

Dialogues

A collection for you, @moreryanandjames

1x1

Red: You got rid of your highlights. You look much less … Baltimore.

1x3

Red: So, you went with the gray?

1x4

Red: That’s a pretty blouse.

1x7

Red: Agent Keen, I have a tip. You’re a winter, not an autumn. Stop wearing olive.

1x7

Red: You’d look positively radiant in a Guayabera dress. I know a little shop in Reston. We could stop before our flight.

1x7

Red: I brought you a souvenir. What’s your feeling about guava? Liz: Anxiety. Red: Oh, you’re in for a treat.

1x8

Red: I find it so reassuring the movie stars, the pop singers they really are just like the rest of us.

1x8

Red: I don’t know how you do it. I had that done once. I couldn’t bear the tickling.

1x8

Maltz: Yeah, sure. Give us a minute, please? Ray, look at you. You look great. I mean, the elasticity is amazing. You been juicing? Red: Beets, mostly. Some celery, carrots, a lot of ginger. The kale makes me dyspeptic.

1x9

Red: Donald, never let it be said that I valued a Zegna Venticinque tie over a human life, even yours.

1x9

Red: Donald! Donald! Feeling any wittier yet? Any strange cravings for Beluga caviar or Marcel Proust?

1x12

Red: If I tell you, you have to promise me you’ll try the fertilized duck eggs. It’s a daring and unique dining experience. You’ll think you’ve died and gone to hell.

1x12

Red: We brought a little something for Julian – a care package. It’s a Tibetan singing bowl. What do we have here? Some jackfruit, vitamin D, kola nuts. But we’ve got to get him to eat more protein. He looks like hell. He isn’t vegan, is he? Anyway, I’ve also --included a couple of my favorite Richard Pryor records. I want to try and inject a little levity into the proceedings. I mean, Julian looks so crabby all the time. House arrest can be grueling. Borakove: Didn’t you spend, like, four months - in Phonthong? Red: Seven. Borakove: How did you survive? Red: Naps. Occasional calisthenics.

1x14

Red: Wow! And I like your clutch.

1x14

Red: Who decided on this paneling?

1x14

Red: You smell nice. Something new?

1x18

Red: I come bearing gifts - pimento cheese sandwiches, toasted with the crusts cut off. Eartha Kitt’s recipe. It’s a fantastic story.

2x1

Red: Hello, Harold. Please apologize to Charlene, your side gate may need a new lock. A get-well present. It looks so soft. Shea butter?

2x2

Red: Lizzy! I’d like to introduce you to my manicurist, Rosa Heredia.

2x12

Red: Oh, that’s a shame. Dendrobium? Ruth: My own hybrid. I call them “Snows of Everest.” Red: Lovely.

2x14

Red: You’ve changed your hair.

2x14

Red: Come on. I got to be worth as much as that fake Xuande Ming vessel was. Sorry, Santos, but those cat’s eye Chrysoberyls are brown, not green. An expensive forgery, but a forgery nonetheless.

3x1

Red: I must say, your hair, the way it frames your face is very becoming.

3x6

Red: I love mauve, but a soft creamy yellow will just open up the entire room. We also need to land on cabinet options and millwork today.

3x12

Liz: I’m pregnant. Red: Yes. I’ve known for some time. Liz: How? Red: Everything. Your body, your skin, a look in your eyes, different tastes for different foods, nausea, distracted, moody.

3x12

Red: Oh, I should probably mention, I booked a pregnancy massage for you. She’ll be here at 9:00. Her name’s Edwina, she’s a registered nurse, and she smells absolutely divine.

3x14

Red: I see your new home is a work in progress. What colors are you considering?

3x14

Lady: Who the hell are you? Red: Her fairy godmother. I hear it’s her birthday. We’ve come to celebrate.

3x17

Red: They went with ruby fringe tulips and pink peonies. You’d be impressed.

3x20

Red: As an adult, it’s easy to dismiss this stuff as girlish frivolity. You forget the wonder it creates, the light captured, secret wishes evoked. It renders even the darkest days sparkly.

3x20

Red: I’d imagine it to be a challenge, playing Rachmaninoff’s C-sharp minor “Prelude” without the benefit of C-sharp.

3x21

Red: What a garden. I love daffodils. They say gifting a bouquet of daffodils ensures happiness, while presenting just one means bad luck is on the horizon.

4x7

Red: What do you do to stay in such incredible shape? Calisthenics? Or Jazzercise?

4x7

Red: Maybe we should be workout partners.

4x7

Red: I’ll see you in dance class, Samar.

4x18

Red: Ah! Springtime in Vienna. The market’s are a bit crowded, but the flowers - oh, my gosh. A simple walk to the U-Bahn is full of glory.

5x1

Hawkins: Who are you? Red: Your Fairy Godmother.

5x2

Red: Oh, my goodness. Look at those Guan vases. And that flatware. Did you know Nancy Reagan - She could dress a table specifically for that night’s guest at a moment’s notice. Russian Silver for a tea with Gorbachev, Italian silver stag-head stirrup cups for a last-minute supper with Sinatra. Can you imagine?

5x2 Liz: What color is that, pumpkin? It looks like a pumpkin. Red: His wife says it’s Tuscan Sunset.

5x3

5x3 Red: Shh. You hear that? There it is again. A piping plover. Their breeding grounds are along coastal beaches and alkali marshes, so to hear that bell-like call from a shorebird this far inland - my gosh, poor little fella must be lost.

Red: I use Epsom salt baths.

5x4  

Red: We were camping in the altogether under the most delightful autumn moon in the Forest of Dean when a wild pig came out of nowhere and gored my left flank, so to speak. And Melissa here not only slew the beast and salved my wound with a honey of - Dr. Lomay: Yarrow. Red: -yarrow compress, but also made the most scrumptious pork pie in the monarchy.

5x10

Paris: Shall I set a third place for lunch? Liz: No, thank you. Red: You may want to think twice. He’s making a turbot with a matsutake mushroom broth.

5x12

Red: I feel terrible, Mariko. I know it’s a small consolation, but I’ve made arrangements for you and Tadashi to stay in the hotel. A two-bedroom suite is yours until it’s safe for you to go back to your home. Room service, 24-hour spa, tickets to any of the shows in town. I hear there’s a revival of “The Music Man” that’s supposed to be marvelous.

5x12

Red: What makes her happy? Does she like a good foot massage?

5x15

Red: If only there were something you could do to help me think of a constructive way to develop the property. Any good ideas? Headmaster: No. Red: Really? Headmaster: Absolutely not. Red: Maybe a massage parlor. The athletes would love it!

5x16

Red: Mr. Garvey, might I suggest you enjoy what little time you have left - crab cakes, scalp massages, perhaps a double feature of “The 400 Blows” and “Jules and Jim” - whatever floats your boat.

5x18

Red: Excellent. I’ll be at the Louvre. When you’re done dotting your I’s and crossing your t’s, you can find me gazing in erotic wonder at the beauty and power of the Winged Victory of Samothrace.

5x19

Red: This apartment. Right here. Oh. My God. To have been the proverbial fly on Clyde Tolson’s duvet. Liz: Clyde Tolson lived here? J. Edgar Hoover’s lover? Red: This was their secret hideaway. Imagine the conversations. Cooing over JFK’s lovers. Slandering Dr. King. What peignoir to wear to bed. When I saw the apartment was for sale, I couldn’t resist. Liz: You own the apartment where the homophobic head of the FBI carried on his affair with his boyfriend? Red: Allegedly. I wouldn’t admit this in mixed company, but J. Edgar and I have a surprising amount in common. For instance, we both always get our man.

5x19

Waters: You look awfully comfy. What kind of fabric is that? Red: Oh. A lightweight merino. Super 120, natural stretch. I swear by it. Waters: Marty, do you think you can do that same multi-colored puppy tooth in that collection?

5x19

Waters: So, what do you think of this one? Red: Oh, John, yes. I like that. But go with the Snowy River Collection in the Glen Urquhart plaid. It worked for the Duke of Windsor. And, just my opinion, consider a vest. Waters: You think? Are vests in again? Red: Vests have never been out.

5x19

Red: What’s that smell? Is that lavender? And mint. Is that your head?  What kind of products do you use? I’m dying of curiosity. Garvey: Wouldn’t that be nice. Red: You smell that? Dembe: Yes. It’s lovely. Red: I’ll say.  Absolutely lovely. Whatever it is, you and I need to get some.

6x1

Red: I’ve turned over a new leaf. Spinach. Steamed. No butter, no oil, no salt.And very, very little taste.

6x2

Liz: Have you lost weight? Red: Five pounds. Seven pounds when it’s in the morning.

6x1

Red: I recommend Cairo. Beautiful, historic. And thanks to a combination of the Muslim Brotherhood and international Islamophobia, completely abandoned by Western tourists. You and Picasso will have the pyramids to yourselves.

6x1

Red: I prefer to keep my nips and tucks to myself.

6x5

Red: The suit is actually a prunelle weave blue with a subtle overlay of red. So in the right light, it goes quite plum.

6x5

Red: A bulge at my waistline? I’d prefer that the witness leave my bulges out of this entirely. I want that struck from the record. It’s embarrassing.

6x7

Red: Okay, I will not be judged by anyone who likes Schumann. I refuse to be sent to my death by Philistines. Judge Wilkins: I love Schumann. “Fantasie in C Major” was played at my mother’s funeral this past summer. Red: I’m sorry for your loss.

6x6

Red: For the love of - please tell me that’s not a Vermilion Flycatcher. Nurse: What are you talking about? Red: That little fella right there. What the hell are you people doing with a Flycatcher in your aviary? They’re endangered. That little guy should be in an open habitat or desert scrub, at the very least. Nurse: Look, I don’t know nothing about birds and desert scrub and all that. Red: You know what? Never mind. I am absolutely dead wrong. That is a Red Factor Canary. Probably domestically bred. He’s perfectly fine.