#like WOW those are some important character details for sure

[thydungeongal]

"The purpose of a system is what it does" is a systems thinking heuristic coined by Stafford Beer. "Heuristic" is a fancy word that means "cool Greek way of saying a practical analytic method." It can be used to analyze, well, pretty much any system. For example, if one were to take the United States insurance-based healthcare system under scrutiny with this metric, one could conclude that the purpose of the system is to make some people extremely rich while forcing many people to face a choice between insurmountable medical debt or no healthcare at all. Many would reasonably argue that that is probably not a good thing for a system to do and the system should probably do something else, like allowing people to call an ambulance for an emergency without having to worry about personal bankruptcy, but sadly that is not what the system does.

Now, after that rather heavy example I'm going to go for something lighter: roleplaying games are, in many ways, systems. They're systems for making us imagine a bunch of freaks and using rules to put those imaginary freaks into situations, and we can then imagine that fiction and go "wow, those freaks sure got into situations."

We can thus look at that fictional sequence of events as a narrative produced by the system and according to the initial heuristic conclude that that narrative was the purpose of the system.

Now obviously roleplaying games are not closed systems: they require players in order for anything to happen. Otherwise there is no game and thus no narrative. And one way in which players can interact with games is through ignoring these games' rules. The results of the players ignoring the rules of a game are arguably still a result of the system, which includes the players and the game they are playing, but also not the result of the game if taken as a text (because the text is being sidelined). This is a useful distinction: an individual game or Dungeons & Dragons can produce a narrative that touches upon themes of queer romance. But the text of Dungeons & Dragons isn't the part of the system doing it. Much as I have said before: if two players choose to rub their character sheets together and make mwah mwah noises, that is arguably a thing that would have not happened without the context of the game. But it could have happened within the context of any game, not just Dungeons & Dragons.

This is why, when talking about the stories that these games produce, I find it more useful to talk about these games as systems taken in and of themselves. Any game can effectively be changed to produce any kind of story. Even Dungeons & Dragons has been modified and utilized to produce a high production value science fiction story starring a cast of really funny comedians. That isn't exactly a testament to the storytelling potential of Dungeons & Dragons for the sake of producing science fiction stories, something it as a game has very little input over. The cast could have produced that story while changing or ignoring any number of games, so it is more of a testament to the quality of the cast and production.

I've talked at length before about the sorts of narratives that Dungeons & Dragons produces and even though the exact details will vary from one edition to another, to take a very high-level perspective of the game as a single thing: D&D produces stories about characters going to dangerous places to overcome adversity while having their resources slowly drained until they have to leave the dangerous place, only to return (or go to a different dangerous place) once they have recovered and potentially grown stronger. Besides these narratives the game also produces experiences for its players around the table: the dramatic tension preceding an important roll, the release when a player rolls just high enough for a character to succeed, and the absolute explosion of energy often followed by rolling a natural 20 are all experiences that the game produces.

(While I personally tend to prefer the pre-WotC editions of the game, the designers of D&D 3e were absolutely cooking when they decided to unify most checks in the game under d20 roll-high. While there have been some unpredictable effects downstream from this change, the use of a d20 where players really want to roll a big number is good design in my opinion, in the sense that it makes the game produce cool experiences.)

Now that's all fine, but I don't always want to talk about D&D because there is a better D&D out there: Rolemaster, a game that owes its basic structure to D&D to such an extent that most of the above points about the sorts of stories and experiences D&D produces apply to it, but is also really stupid.

The core gameplay of Rolemaster revolves around rolling dice and cross-referencing the result of the roll (plus any modifiers) on an appropriate table. The table lookup process itself adds a bit of friction into the game: the process of figuring out the results of an action does slow down play for a bit. The experience this produces for its players is one of tension, much like waiting for a roll in D&D. Now, the thing about those really high and really low rolls in Rolemaster is that they will result in more rolls. On other tables. What happens, around the table, in those situations, is the tension of waiting for a roll followed by a massive explosion of energy which does not yet release all the tension, as more rolls need to be made. There are multiple explosions and releases of tension, until the final roll. Which will invariably give you one of the dumbest results in the world.

Rolemaster is supposedly a realistic, grim and gritty game, and while it is true that characters are more likely to suffer permanent harm that actually has a tangible mechanical effect on them than they would in D&D, the important thing to understand about Rolemaster is that while most of the results on its myriad tables will skew towards the mundane, due to the way it treats its d100-based resolution system as pretty much a glorified d20 with a bit more granularity between the extremes, a lot of extremely shitty bullshit is always lurking at the sidelines. And unlike in D&D where a natural 20 produces just a success (and maybe some extra damage in combat, depending on edition) and a natural 1 produces just a failure (fumbles are house rules within the context of D&D), in Rolemaster's case there are actual prefabricated results encoded into the game. Which are really stupid.

All of which is to say: you know all those stories about a D&D game where a player rolled a 1 and the GM made up a really silly failure on the spot and you couldn't help but roll your eyes because that's not actually something that the game produced natively and no one within this game's community can actually agree to what a natural 1 should represent within the fiction? Rolemaster is a game which natively produces those stupid results, because someone went through the trouble of making that stupid result a part of one of the many tables you will inevitably end up rolling on.

Dungeons & Dragons allows for stupid things to happen via giving its players the power of narrative editing to make up their own stupid things. In Rolemaster those stupid things are bespoke, custom made, and provided to you the player, no modding required.

[ct-multifandom]

Big day for annoying people (me)

The two new eps of ML were good? Like wow it’s been great so far except ep 3 was comparatively a flop imo. Werepapas was so, idk, enticing lore-wise but I don’t have much to say that other people haven’t except that they’re clearly NOT neglecting past plot points, making the tone too silly goofy all the time, nor retconning important stuff like some people worried they would. We have been FED. I’m sure Felix is involved in that ring bs somehow, but idk if his intentions are pure or not.

Warning for the only salty thing I’m gonna say on this post: I’m so tired of going into the fandom tag and seeing people whining about “bad writing” problems that literally never happened based entirely on their own incorrect predictions they made up to make themselves mad. Ugh anyway. This post is gonna be about small details I latched onto in Daddycop!

We got to see glimpses of Sabrina and Max’s rooms this ep! Max’s room looks like a Star Trek spaceship but the books on his bookshelf are kinda giving those reference books at the library of like, archived government documents or research papers iykwim whereas the books in Alya’s room look like manga. An interesting thing I noticed in Sabrina’s room is that she has a line of framed certificates on the wall, maybe academic awards or something similar

Did they ever say if Markov can see Kaalki or not? I’m sure they will eventually but idk which option I like better. It’d be cute if they were friends but it’d be pretty funny if he had to watch Max talk to the secret floating ghost who lives with them now and not question it

List of things Sabrina dumps in the trash: yellow nail polish, the brooch Chloe gifted to her/bribed her with in season 1, the cat ear headband from her Chat Noir cosplay when she and Chloe were roleplaying as him and Ladybug in season 3, a beret, maybe the one Chloe tried to bribe her with in s1, Chloe-style sunglasses, a Queen Bee doll, a photo of them together in the old animation, and a mug/tumbler? Maybe a gift from her as well idk maybe they’re selling Queen Bee-themed Stanley cups over there.

:((((( Aw Sabrina nooo I hate seeing her so sad and the way she lied to her dad so he would think she’s happy and has friends

I think this might be the first time the show referred to Fire Captain Hessenpy by name?

Marinette’s scooter has the T+S logo on it and a sticker that says Boulangerie Paris

Between eps 2 and 4 I’m getting the sense that Sabrina uses Miss Hound as an escape kinda like CN where she feels like she can become instantly likeable, trustworthy, helpful, and useful through the inherent credibility of being a superhero. She has anonymity, can sort of start over on a blank slate, and is automatically implied to be a good person since Ladybug entrusted her. I’m guessing we’re gonna see more of that blank slate idea with other characters and what they’ll do with it, but it’s telling that Sabrina decides to transform to resolve people’s minor inconveniences, especially when she’s feeling bad about herself. It’s like she’s proving a point to herself but also giving herself something productive to do.

The GIRLS Ahhhhh let’s go lesbians

Noticing a clear absence of Alix. Ik the special implied she has to keep hiding in the burrow from Lila but she’s all normal-looking in the intro and they can’t shelve her forever. I feel like something is gonna change to make her be able to return.

^^^ ALSO she’s the only hero with zero design updates and my theory is that the purpose of that is so she can do contrived time nonsense like going back to earlier seasons and going forward without contradicting anything or revealing which time period she’s actually from

I gotta say the side character writing has progressively been better and better throughout the show. Atp they really feel like actual people with their own opinions and motivations. In the early days they felt more like lovable NPCs who talked occasionally but now they’re real characters? With free will? I feel like I just watched Pinocchio get turned into a real boy

The pro-healthy eating censorship/propaganda/whatever in this show is so funny omg. Juleka: I brought fruit tea Mylene: wow that’s so much better than the sugary soda we had last time LMAO. To balance out Rose holding a bag of popcorn they gave Zoe two burlap sacks full of oranges which tbf I’d rather snack on those during a movie than popcorn but still. I saw a vid recently about gravity falls adding random bowls of fruit next to characters eating junk food because they were getting flagged as promoting unhealthy habits. I keep thinking about that moment in Ikari Gozen when Mari asks Kagami out for “juice” when any normal teen would’ve said “coffee” like nope no caffeine in my good Christian miraculous

Love Kagami being a pretentious film nerd go hang out with Nino

RED ALERT YOU GUYS Mylene has an inclusive pride flag pin on her overall strap. Like the rainbow flag with the trans triangle and the black stripe. It’s not subtle or anything it’s just right there wow. Damn

The pin above it reminds me of Timebreaker’s logo. I wonder what some of these pins mean

Ok last season they seem to have established that Sabrina became friends with Marc and Nathaniel who were both explicit Sabrina Supporters since their akuma episodes, so it feels sort of convenient that they were written out of the narrative for this ep. I do see the whole Girl Squad thing and how she feels excluded when all the girls in the group hang out together without her, doing traditional girl things like movie night sleepovers, so I do think it’s totally valid. Her having absolutely zero friends is hyperbolized though.

On that note I have to wonder if the school might have several lunch periods because none of the male characters expect Adrien and Nino were there. Or maybe they just stage the scene with whoever is convenient. They might have flexible lunch schedules and all the other characters are off somewhere else.

Rose mentioned a girl whose name I didn’t recognize and after rewinding i can’t tell what she said. Aglie? New character? Maybe she’s that black girl with pink hair who was sitting with Adrien, Nino, and Sublime at lunch

KAGAMI AND ONDINE ARE CANONICALLY FRIENDS this is like the Superbowl for me. I’m so excited for Sleeping/Princess Syren I need to see her.

God the girls were so messy in that scene where they didn’t want to invite Sabrina lol I kinda love it I can’t even be mad

Zoe, your lab safety is atrocious. Not only are you taking your goggles off while still in the lab, but then you *leave the room* and *touch someone* with your gloves still on?! Diabolical. What are they even doing, soldering computer chips?

Marinette when I catch you Marinette

Roger’s relationship with Sabrina is actually so cute even though he’s kinda misguided as a person GOD when he’s on his way to console his crying daughter and Lila enters his mind space and he’s cradling his arms like he’s clearly seeing her as his baby 🥺 nobody talk to me

Alexa play I bet on losing dogs by mitski. Myyyy baby my baby…

We got a glimpse of the baddest bitch in Paris Xavier Ramier I’m so happy

Sabrina shapeshifted her necklace into a brooch. Huh. I guess you can just do that

The power of believing in herself allowed her to yassify her own character design into a cuter and more fashionable superhero! This is basically just like real life if you think about it

Her ball has a doggy nose on it awww

Lila telling Roger to turn around so she could back him up and fire the anti akuma was badass okay

I’m not sold on the loud ass makeup they have a lot of the characters wearing so I’m glad we got to see the girls with clean faces at the end there. Wow they look so normal! I’m also loving the pajama designs. I had to pause and look at all of them.

Zoe had to stop and hit Sabrina with that rizz stare to make sure Sabrina wouldn’t be coming up with any platonic explanations for her behavior

I never thought I’d say these words, but I think a love triangle between Sabrina, Zoe, and Max would be fun. Imagine Zoe is into Sabrina, Sabrina isn’t exactly catching the hint and sees Zoe as a really nice friend, Sabrina kinda likes Max, and Max is like damn these bitches gay. Good for them.

The end card is so baby omg

I TOLD YOU GUYS Sabrina was gonna get a makeover and people were like uH No iTs JUsT An aNimATioN eRroR oF a ScRApPEd DeSiGn girl why the hell would they leave a scrapped design in the intro, and there’s no way they would accidentally not notice that much less repeat it

Mark my words white haired Caprikid is not an error either he’s real and he’s gonna collect all the chaos emeralds to get that way

A new diabolical twink has hit the scene. Ray’s pompous ass immediately reminded me of Preminger from Barbie. He looks like he rides horses. Like he tells people he’s into sports but then you find out the sport is just horse riding. Immediately invested. Who is this diva. I want him to get hit by a bus.

Ooooo Zoe was up to some Delinquent Shit in America this is so juicy. I looove when suspiciously perfect characters get revealed to be secretly fucked up that’s the best. I’ve always loved those types of headcanons, that she was expelled from her last school and moved to a different country all of a sudden for her mom’s PR. If you think about it, that’s exactly what happened to Chloe damn. Daughter commits PR disaster, do zero parenting about it, relocate daughter far away to start over with little consequence! I wanna see some parallels. I feel like she made it sound like she moved because she was getting bullied at her old school, but what if that was a lie, or at least a partial lie? You know shit’s serious when the exposition is in the post-post-endcard scene

The pacing of these episodes has been satisfying compared to previous seasons, especially 5. They aren’t trying to shove too much in, but there’s still a lot happening and fiiiinally a nice mix of plot and fighting. I was getting irritated by how rushed a lot of the fights were last season like might as well just not have them at all

Late edit: back to the pajamas because I forgot to analyze them, I have noticed that Juleka’s pants have bats on them :) frickin bats. They also have like… a crescent moon with something sitting on it? idk what that is. It’s like a pattern of cute spooky Halloween imagery. But the pants and her black lace tank top versus Rose’s sparkly pink unicorn onesie is adorb.

Zoe has a yellow tank and seems to be wearing her usual leggings under running shorts um? Outside clothes in bed? And her pink slides give the whole thing a sans undertale vibe. Oh what the fuck why do the feet of her tights have individual toes lmao. The horror. I hate it.

I can’t tell what Mylene is wearing except a black t-shirt that might have something white on it. OMG EDIT 2 ITS IVAN’S T-SHIRT FROM HIS OLD DESIGN YOU GUYS SHES WEARING HER BF’S OLD BAND TEE AS PAJAMAS. This is headline news myvan nation. She has maybe pink shorts and her slippers look like Uggs.

Kagami’s silk pjs look luxurious. I love how her clothes this season went from just preppy to being very obviously EXPENSIVE like she’s blending in with the gang but she’s still clearly rich af.

Sabrina’s pjs are a classic set with her usual argyle pattern on them. 10/10 would give her a warm glass of milk and read her a bedtime story. I wonder what she needs eye drops for because she told Roger she needs to pack them.

Excited to see more yay! I love the little details. It’s kinda a bummer that Sabrina spent most of her hero focus ep sobbing but we ball (see what I did there) and the end was so cutesy. So excited to probably watch episode 11 before episode 6

[halcyone-of-the-sea]

Wow! As the header says, my blog just went past 5k followers - I'd like to extend a heartfelt thank you to everyone who hopped on for this journey; I'm having the time of my life sharing my writing with you all.

In celebration and as a way to have a little fun - I'll be opening my inbox for a day and letting those who want to send in something fill it up!

Now, I know you're probably asking yourself 'Hal, I thought you said requests are going to be closed so you can finish the ones you have and work on the AUs?' And you'd be correct - I did say that. I'm not going to be writing full-length works for this event.

To anyone who sends something in (and follows the rules I have in place on my Request Form (be sure to check it even if you've already read it, I added some more characters and other stuff)) I'll be writing one-to-two page drabbles!

All this being said, after this post is uploaded I'll be opening my inbox up to anyone who would want to participate and closing it exactly one day after!

Thank you again for being the best community ever - I'm incredibly lucky to be surrounded by kind and respectful individuals as well as mutuals who are mind-numbingly sweet. I could not have achieved all of this without you; I think that's beautiful.

This post will also serve as the Masterlist for all of the expected drabbles, so if you'd like to keep updated on what's going to be happening/being written soon, this would be a good place to hang out!

ALL COMPLETED AS OF 11/5/2023

IMAGES USED: A black retriever in an extensive mountainous landscape by Maud Earl & L'angelo, la morte e il diavolo by Roberto Ferri || TOTAL: 5

➣The Perfect One

╰┈➤ ❝ [He stares at the rings under the glass with an acute narrowness to his eyes. He inspects every one as if a bomb might go off at any second, not missing a single detail in the metal.] ❞

➣Get In

╰┈➤ ❝ [Coming home with bruises and stitched wounds, you drag him into the bathroom to wash away the memories.] ❞

➣Hum Me A Tune, Blue-Eyes

╰┈➤ ❝ [You listen to his heartbeat as he keeps you to his chest, his breath tickling your hair.] ❞

➣Here Now

╰┈➤ ❝ [He nearly misses one of the most important moments of your lives together.] ❞

➣Burst Veins

╰┈➤ ❝ [He never noticed you weren't behind him.] ❞

IMAGES USED:  Fallen Angel by Roberto Ferri & Nature of Fear by Nicola Samori || TOTAL: 5

➣Nervous Eyes

╰┈➤ ❝ [No one understands how you two get along - not when you're so different. It makes you second-guess yourself. He notices.] ❞

➣Blood Like Obsidian

╰┈➤ ❝ [Simon can only fight against so many nurses as they shove him back from your operation room.] ❞

➣Supposed To Happen

╰┈➤ ❝ [You died and left him a child he had no idea existed. How can he even begin to try and understand?] ❞

➣Digging Gaze

╰┈➤ ❝ [You indulge in a one-night-stand after you'd both called it quits, only, it leads to more problems. When he sees you again, how will he react to the swelling of your stomach?] ❞

➣Sole Survivor

╰┈➤ ❝ [Your father died years ago, and so you fall under the stiff, and unyielding, protection of your Uncle Simon. But it's not all bad. He can be funny when he wants to be.] ❞

IMAGES USED: White and Black by Vadim Gorbatov & Saint Augustine by Philippe de Champaigne || TOTAL: 7

➣Didn't Mean It

╰┈➤ ❝ [Arguments are rare, certainly ones that leave you in tears.] ❞

➣Him, Her, and the Dog

╰┈➤ ❝ [The woes of pining after a woman whose deadly K9 looks like it hates his guts.] ❞

➣Drunken Sappiness

╰┈➤ ❝ [You can't say you've ever had a boyfriend as perfect as Kyle.] ❞

➣How Do You Listen To That?

╰┈➤ ❝ [It was three a.m. when you all got the call to load up, but what's the best way to wake both yourself and the Sergeant up?] ❞

➣Finally Broken

╰┈➤ ❝ [Childhood friends turned lovers. The realization was far more violent and instantaneous than you'd like to admit.] ❞

➣Don't Look At Her

╰┈➤ ❝ [The bomb starts ticking down, rapidly firing to zero. Gaz won't let Price near you. Not after he'd remembered the Captain's actions when they'd first met.] ❞

➣In His Head

╰┈➤ ❝ [Collection of his SFW and NSFW quirks.] ❞

IMAGES USED: Scene from the Great Flood by Joseph-Désiré Court & Saint Jerome in Prayer by Carlo Dolci || TOTAL: 7

➣Life Snaps By In Flashes

╰┈➤ ❝ [A collection of memories from the second he laid eyes on you. All flashing past in the soft buzzing of the overhead lights.] ❞

➣Heart-Eyes

╰┈➤ ❝ [Being a medic wasn't pretty, but when your boyfriend was the subject under your needle you can't help but enjoy his unwavering gaze. Today, he has something to share with you.] ❞

➣From Ten To Twenty & Beyond

╰┈➤ ❝ [You've known him ever since the incident on the playground, and now you can't help but imagine that same boy as you watch him make supper with flour in his hair.] ❞

➣Find Me

╰┈➤ ❝ [You're finally back in One-Four-One's hands, but that doesn't mean you're saved. Johnny tracks you down after a violent episode.] ❞

➣Still The Same Fools

╰┈➤ ❝ [There was always a rivalry between you two - that hasn't changed even if both of you have. Years later, the boiling point is finally met.] ❞

➣Is This Why?

╰┈➤ ❝ [He finally sees why you never introduced him to your parents.] ❞

➣Oblivious Pining

╰┈➤ ❝ [Johnny hangs off you like a silent beast. Not that you would notice, of course.] ❞

IMAGES USED: King Gustav III of Sweden and His Brothers by Alexander Roslin & Geography lesson by Eduard Karl Gustav Lebrecht Pistorius || TOTAL: 6

KEEGAN P. RUSS:

➣Paint The Dawn; Paint My Eyes

╰┈➤ ❝ [In the midst of war and death, there's little time for pleasure. All you had was a ripped-up sketchbook to call your own, its contents littered with the rough face of your comrade.] ❞

➣Hold Her Close

╰┈➤ ❝ [Keegan cares for his young daughter.] ❞

➣When The Fighting Stops & The Silence Sets In

╰┈➤ ❝ [Continuation of (Don't) Go To War: the aftermath of recovery and a budding relationship.] ❞

➣Movies and Stale Popcorn

╰┈➤ ❝ [Oak and Keegan finally get to watch that movie.] ❞

DAVID 'HESH' WALKER:

➣To The Boy of My Childhood

╰┈➤ ❝ [Ten years came and went fast, but the memory of the Walker boys stayed. One more than the other. You never got to tell him you loved him.] ❞

➣Keep The Sheets Warm, My Love Is Coming Home

╰┈➤ ❝ [If this wasn't enough to prove that you were the only person for Hesh, you didn't know what did.] ❞

IMAGES USED: Saint Catherine of Alexandria by Caravaggio & Amor Vincit Omnia by Caravaggio || TOTAL: 17

CAPTAIN JOHN 'SOAP' MACTAVISH:

➣New Paint

╰┈➤ ❝ [Fighting to forget you, MacTavish finds comfort in whoever he can. Yet, like the layers of paint on the walls, it always peels back to you.] ❞

➣A Song of Gnashing Teeth

╰┈➤ ❝ [There was never a day where the two of you weren't butting heads - everyone was at their wit's end. Of course, you would both be forced to cooperate at some point.] ❞

➣Listen To My Voice

╰┈➤ ❝ [He orders you to focus on him as the sounds outside the cell get closer. He promises nothing will happen to you. You know he's lying.] ❞

➣Look At The Stars; Look At Me

╰┈➤ ❝ [Stargazing in the middle of an overgrown and wild glade.] ❞

➣Alive and Breathing

╰┈➤ ❝ [You're sick. Very sick. John takes drastic action.] ❞

➣I Can See It In Your Eyes

╰┈➤ ❝ [It's finally time to meet the family.] ❞

➣A Green-Eyed Monster

╰┈➤ ❝ [You'd slept together, sure. No strings attached. Then why are you trying to make him jealous? Who cares, the point is that it's working.] ❞

SERGEANT GARY 'ROACH' SANDERSON:

➣Dance With Me Before The Chill Sets In

╰┈➤ ❝ [Tired? Yes, but he's never too tired for you and your loveliness. But maybe you need to remember to lock the door when you're home alone.] ❞

➣Raining Cats and Dogs

╰┈➤ ❝ [Roach has a deep love of storms.] ❞

OPERATION OFFICER ALEX KELLER:

➣Bright-Eyed History Lesson

╰┈➤ ❝ [A librarian with a fascination for war history and a soldier who loves how her eyes light up. Like a dog, he can't stop himself from coming back; smiling like a fool.] ❞

COLONEL ALEJANDRO VARGAS:

➣Hold Me Longer

╰┈➤ ❝ [Mornings spent in the sanctity of warm sunlight and bare skin.] ❞

SERGEANT MAJOR RODOLFO 'RUDY' PARRA:

➣A Love Like Ours Makes Us Strong

╰┈➤ ❝ [Rodolfo came back, alive but bruised. How do you explain how terrified you were?] ❞

COMMANDER PHILLIP GRAVES:

➣Sleeping On The Porch

╰┈➤ ❝ [As it turns out, your husband never really died. It's safe to say you're not overjoyed.] ❞

➣Love Echoes In Silence

╰┈➤ ❝ [You can feel him watching you, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and a small smile. Humming to yourself, you listen to the birds outside the window.] ❞

SEBASTIAN JOSEF KRUEGER:

➣Ain't Giving Up My Pride

╰┈➤ ❝ [You get on his nerves, partially because you want to. But what happens when he finally snaps?] ❞

ALL 141 INCLUDED (SEPARATE):

➣Count The Hours

╰┈➤ ❝ [Collection of what the One-Four-One do on their down-hours with their Lovers] ❞

➣Wide-Eyed Panic

╰┈➤ ❝ [Why were you behind the couch?] ❞

[dejasenti99]

well hi :3 welcome to deja’s skinblending guide. this is my first full written tutorial so excuse me if its not very good LAWL before we get started, here's the tools i'll be using

sims4studio

tray importer

photoshop 2022 (theres cracked version everywhere on tumblr)

blender 4.1

sims 4 ripper

blender + the ripper aren't required to make skins, plenty of people don't go that extra step, but i love using it for placement help

okay lets fuckin go gamers heres my very in depth process for making my ocs skins

miss dolly is gonna be our model today. she already has a skin but im gonna add some little details for the sake of example + some tats cause ive been meaning to anyway.

so when i first get started on making someone a skin, ill find a good base to use and then add details from other categories like nosemasks, eyebags, contours, etc.

my fav skin creators are @sims3melancholic and @thisisthem. my bases are usually thisisthem, and then i'll pick through a couple s3m skins and make notes on my phone about what parts i wanna take off of them (like, say, i like how a certain s3m skin's nose looks. i'll use that instead of a nosemask)

my goal when im gathering things i wanna add is to free up as many slots as i can. id rather add cheshire's freckles onto her skin than use up the freckle slot in skin details that i could use for something else, yknow?

ill repeat this process for makeup next. obviously im not giving my ocs permanent full glam, but some lipsticks can add better texture, you can get highlights/blush from........the blush section LOL and i love using this obscurus eyeliner at a low-ish opacity

just adds an extra level of detail i love. i think what keeps my sims looking consistent next to each other is that i tend to use some of the same details all across the board

make sure for all makeup/skin detail/tattoo category swatches you use, you make note of what swatch it exactly is. when you go into s4s to export the file, you're gonna have to manually select it and if u cant remember what skintone u chose out it can be annoying :/

note that she is completely nakey aside from her piercings while i pick what im gonna use for her skin! no clothing but u can keep on their hair. this is so we have a clear view of everything (and i mean EVERYTHING) for blender.

after you make sure u save the sim/household to ur gallery, you can close out of cas and save ur game! i forgot to do this bc im a fucking idiot but its okay bc you will not. its not REALLY necessary to do this as long as you know exactly what packages you need to locate for texture exporting

step one is done!!!! close out ur game

i have a million fucking characters so i made a deja senti skinblending folder to keep it all organized :-)

this is what it looks like inside. gives u a pretty good overview of what ur gonna be doing tbh. the 't' folder is all the textures we're about to export

thankfully i do have a version of dahlia saved in my gallery so even tho i didnt go it before i closed my game i can still show u what to do in tray importer lol. i have multiple sims in one household, so i narrowed it down by going up top and selecting dahlia / human / and her everyday outfit.

since im gonna give her this blush, i right click and hit open w package viewer so itll find it and open s4s for me

anime wow sound. im gonna change the color manually in photoshop so it doesnt matter to me what swatch i export. hit that green export button under the list of diffuse/shadow/etc (u dont need to worry about all those options, just diffuse) and save it to ur folder!

once ur done gathering ur textures ur good to close out of tray importer and s4s(we'll come back to s4s later tho)

thats step two! the quickest step lawl

this is where i start being a little extra. u dont have to rip ur sim and use blender if u dont want to, but i think it can rly help bc the default sim in s4s doesn't have ur sims facial features and can make ur skins look wonky/wont give an accurate representation of how itll look in game. this cuts out having to go in game/out of game over and over to check

so in simripper once u load up ur sim, the important part is to make sure u have it set to export the dae with separate meshes. once thats done u can import it into blender and there's plenty of other tutorials out there how to use simripper n all that.

so once u get the dae loaded into blender im gonna send u on a little side quest over to this ask i answered where i explain how i separate eyes from the head mesh. next thing ur gonna open is photoshop! or whatever u have thats similar

say hi to flat dahlia. u should have ur own guy but flat open now too :-) along with everything else ur gonna combine. in my case its blush and a titty mask. im gonna start w the blush so i zoomed into her face in blender. i went into the blush file and copied, then back into my base skin file and pasted into place with crtl+shift+v

please do not be like me. make sure u rename ur layers as you copy and paste them into the main skin file. do this because it DOES matter what order ur layers are in. u dont want to put ur highlight under ur nose mask cause the nose mask will just cover the highlight etc etc. i already lost what layer the new blush i added is. what is wrong w me

so when u have ur first detail pasted on and in place, ur gonna save the base skin file as a psd. then go into blender, and in the little textures window ur gonna replace the diffuse file ur dae came loaded with with ur new psd file

u should see the change u made but mine was super subtle so im gonna show it to u when i put on the cleavage overlay

when it comes to stuff like this, ur obviously gonna want to pick the closest to ur skintone swatch as u can. i did not do this, because again, im an idiot

mine is way too pale LAWL whoops. we can fix this tho

i add a hue/saturation adjustment and make it a clipping mask using that square w the arrow so the adjustment will ONLY affect the mask

from there i just make little adjustments until the color match up is as perfect as i can make it. for example for this, ik that it needs to be a little warmer and a little more saturated, so im gonna bump the hue and saturation sliders to the right and it was pretty much perfect

tiddies with no mask > with mask no adjustments > with mask and adjustments

and ur gonna go ahead and repeat that process with every single thing u wanna add to ur skin.

so as for tattoos! this is another thing ur gonna wanna rename the layers for because depending on how heavily ur sims can be tatted it can get A LOT

here's psyche's neat little tattoo folder. its separated into where the tattoo is and then

what it is

i find all my tattoo inspo on pinterest using flash sheets/keywords in the search. my ocs usually have sub-boards that i hoard inspo in for them specifically. dahlia doesnt have one bc ive never seen her as the most tattooed person, but i think she'd have some at least

this process is pretty much the same as putting on skin details! its all about adjusting to what u like. for example, i like when my sims tattoos are a little faded and a bit blurred at the edges cause it looks a little more real

when it comes to images i find on pinterest, ill save the image and first try to make it as clean as i can

for example, this lil guy

a curve mask made the whites brighter and the blacks darker as u can see. then ill go into filter > reduce noise to soften the harsh edges

then i flatten it, copy and paste to the skin file, n place it wherever i want it to go :-)

louder anime wow!!!

okay so now ur gonna want to make sure u .psd file is saved (it should be bc we've been checking our progress w blender) and then merge the visible layers (NOT flatten, merge visible. we need the transparency around the skin to be in tact)

ur done in photoshop and blender!!! good job :-)

step whatever number we're on. back into s4s!

ur focus is over here. make sure the option filled is the top one, and then hit the cas button

this menu will open, ur gonna go up to part type and find the option skin details, forehead. pick the first forehead wrinkle option that appears and hit 'next.' itll prompt you to save ur new file n give it a name, i usually just make it my sim's name cause i have a folder in my mods folder for specifically my cc

remember wayyyy back when we were exporting the skin details? ur gonna go back to that same section and hit 'import' instead of export. select ur skin's .png file, and poof !

ur skin :DD it looks great man good job

this part is EXTREMELY important. go up to the warehouse tab

in the 'data' section ur gonna see a box at the top labeled 'filter.' thats where i typed in 'compos' just so it would show me JUST the compositionmethod section since theres a lot of shit in there lawl. yours is initially gonna say '3,' but we're gonna change it to '0' mind you, this is because MY skins are all alpha. maxis match overlays do not show up on my skins because my comp method is set to 0, meaning it has top priority essentially.

after you do that, you can hit save and place that .package file you created into your mods folder!!! and GUESS WHAT BESTIE UR DONE!!!!! U DID IT :DDDD

of course, as always, you can always dm me if youre stuck on anything or need any more clarification. i am always open to help as much as i can. i rly hope this helped :-)

[99redragons]

Wow, I agonized over this post way too long. Here it is, finally. I was gonna make this a reblog but i think since it's referencing multiple posts (and boy it got super long and added a related theory) this is better on its own. This is furthering @gin-juice-tonic's analysis of the tBoB journal pages. Heavy tBoB spoilers, and warning for the darker content it has. (some swearing too) I'm convinced now they're a warped version of events and downright fake for some, however, I believe many are real.

...But did Ford remember them? "I can delete memories randomly, just for fun. Maybe I already have." I do NOT think Bill could erase everything. He probably can only erase small/recent sections. But this is a big part of my theory.

But first, Gin's points. (using some of your pics for this Gin, hope you dont mind) I'm not going to post every journal page, but I'll give a ref for ones that seem important.

Okay, this is the post that actually convinced me (went through the links from tapas, the first is sure suspicious, but the second has pretty compelling evidence.) Ford referred to Fiddleford as F through the whole of journal 3 (aside from in code), and Bill as his Muse until the reveal, he wouldn't suddenly change the way he refers to people, even if he planned to rip out the pages, in which case, why would you write them in the first place?

On the first link (this one), this appears to be an embellished story. When you look at it from bill's perspective, he's reminiscing. He lies to himself. He's making it seem like Ford and Bill hit it off immediately, and while in a way, they did, it probably wasn't like this. I'll buy Ford used Cipher's line back at him, but the jovial way they banter is just so Bill. Ford would emphasize how he felt, the mysteries he was thinking about, his reverence for his Muse. He probably wouldn't recount it line for line when he was so secretive in journal 3. Bill makes it seem like they were more like equals, when in reality he likely relished the devotion and divine status Ford attributed to him. Also, "Cipher Speaks" is in Bill's handwriting from the sticky notes. could be coincidence? I think not. 'Ford' also describes it as the "GREATEST. DAY. OF MY LIFE." This mirrors bill's earlier statements about the reader's life being forever changed after meeting bill. According to Bill, meeting him is the highest moment of anyone's life, right?

In an additional post, Gin explains how Bill didn't tell Ford he was from another dimension. Ford had to find that out at the betrayal. So, all this taken, those two pages at least are fake.

For the third link, this one, while from Doylist perspective, Alex wanted the book to have fun little callbacks, from Watsonian, Bill simply can't help himself. Bill loves trying to be funny. He's trying to keep the reader hooked, and keeping the story interesting through callbacks is one way to do that. Some of these are Bill, some are self-referential because Bill's talking about real events from the past. (rats, cipherite suit, Small World cassette, we'll get to those later)

Bill has a habit of telling the truth through his lies. What I mean by that is, if he is repeating himself through actions or words, it's probably because there's some truth to it. If he's contradicting himself, there's something he's hiding. He'll claim he has no weaknesses, but later admit he does. He'll say he has no exes, only to reference exes later. So, we can glean truths from the lies he's telling in the pages.

I think Alex is a good enough writer to keep Ford and his writing (mostly) in character. He's made retcons/continuity errors before, but he knows the fandom will pick apart everything and find them, and will have a reason for it. There's definitely some fake pages, which begs the question, which are real?

One detail I want to point out is the vignette/burn marks on the edges of some of the pages. My secondary theory is about these. (And no, it doesn't indicate they were fake.) I'll explain later.

Assumptions/disclaimers: The pages we're shown are roughly chronological, though skip forward where surviving J3 pages would go. Pages aren't realistically double-sided like they would be in J3, these are inserted into tBoB magically. I don't have a blacklight version of J3, so I'm probably missing a little bit of context there. References J3 quite a few times, so this post works best if you are able to reference both books. I can go into detail and post more pictures for any sections that aren't clear.

First off, 'Lost in the woods'. This one I believe is real, because Ford's (author's cipher) codes are in it. This code is consistently used in the book whenever Ford inserts a page, even on the moth. For Bill to use this code would break the established pattern Alex has made. However, I agree with Gin that Bill intentionally placed this page to establish Ford as lonely, and thus make Bill look better for befriending him in contrast. I don't think it's that odd for Ford to talk about his social awkwardness, he talks about his childhood bullying pretty frankly, specifically on a page meant to be an author's About Me. However, he did rip this one out, so I think he was trying to ignore his feelings by hiding this page. No vignette.

'Cipher speaks', as we've discussed, is likely a fake/altered meeting. Vignettes on both pages. On the second page you can see where it looks burnt in one corner, and there's even tear marks like there's a page missing there, perhaps their real first meeting. It's also strange for Ford to draw himself like that.

'My Muse & Me'- Ford refers to Bill as his Muse again. Despite my doubts (I went back and forth on this one), I think this one has to be real. We find on the website computer (code: Fordtramarine) that Ford tried to submit a paper on fordtramarine. In that paper he refers to an 'extradimensional entity' and 'two-dimensional'. He shouldn't know that Bill is interdimensional at this point, so Ford must mean 'outside of physical reality', as in, the astral plane. Though, there's a painting of 'a muse' in the paper. Wasn't Bill supposed to be secret? Perhaps he thought he could get away with that small reference? Perhaps this paper was submitted more recently? I don't like the idea that things from the website are also fake, since it would be strange for Bill to have such narrative control there. The website seems to reveal things Bill can't control, even if Bill is talking. This page also establishes more timeline. This is saying that not only could Bill freely move in and out of Ford's mind within a year, he had full access to alter it as well, ahead of their deal before the test. This page is probably to make it seem appealing to let Bill into your mind. It also serves a purpose of showing us Ford had let Bill fully into his mind at this point in the story Bill's weaving. I am curious why would Ford hide this only to submit a paper on it, just to keep his Muse secret? And those damn red triangles, did Bill draw those, implying he could possess Ford before their deal? No burns/vignette. The neighboring pages both have it, why not this one?

June 15th- There is direct dialogue from Bill quoted, however, he refers to Bill as his Muse. Wouldn't Ford be creeped the hell out by the rat thing, and be alarmed that Bill possessed things just to kill them? I think this page was real, but was ripped out by Bill. Heavy vignette.

(Sorry for the poor quality, my phone camera is awful)

At this point I should explain: I think the burn/vignette represents Bill 'burning away' memories/altering them. Ford's memories, but possibly even the reader's. I want to be clear; I don't mean Bill erased the entire memory of the page, I mean Bill erased at least some part of those events. When it's heavy around the edges, heavier manipulation. It also could indicate which ones Bill burned/destroyed. More evidence for this later.

Karaoke page- How did Bill convince Ford to drink with him after the rat thing? Bill made him forget it was Bill. "The rats were his idea?" Yeah, he told you that right away, why did he need to tell you again? While probable this happened, the writing from Ford is sus. "This Bill guy, he's really got it all figured out"? Sounds a bit like Bill talking. The drawing is strangely detailed, too. 'Dancing queen' (disco girl's parody origin) was released in '76, so that lines up time wise, at least. Likely altered/created to make Bill seem friendlier. Either could have destroyed this one if there was a real version. Vignette.

A Voice from the Past spread- He says 'my Muse', but then mentions Bill by name, which indicates it's altered. Is the first bit real, then? Why would Ford rip out this important page revealing his muse's origin and past? His curiosity would overtake wanting to keep it secret, surely? And conversely, why would Bill fabricate it? To make himself seem more sympathetic? However, there is another explanation. There is the possibility Bill erased the memories of this conversation and it really happened in some form. Bill probably realized after revealing this information to Ford it could ruin his plans. Some vignette at the top, mostly on the right page. In that is a drawing of space and a code. The code says 'forget the past." Coincidence, or purposeful on a page for a conversation Bill made Ford forget? Bill could have ripped out the pages (if they existed) himself. It's also important to note Bill is trying to isolate Ford here, which is another reason he'd hide the pages/alter memories of talking about Stanley. Also, if Bill erased the phone number from Ford's mind later, it would make sense why Ford had to send a postcard.

A Winter Break/The Krampus adventure. Where would these pages have gone if they were real? It was January for the test, so it was before the deal, but after the bunker? Gin mentioned it feeling 'off' and strange because it's just Krampus, nothing weird or Gravity Falls-y about it, and I agree. And also, Fidds knocking it out feels... weird. I think that story is fabricated with some real details thrown in. Fidds is noticeably shaken up after, but otherwise the whole story seemed almost whimsical, and just...weird, and not in the GF way. It's fake. Ford goes back inside after looking outside in Time Traveler's Pig. He doesn't come outside onto the porch at all. You could say he comes back out after that, maybe. You could say it's a retcon. But we know the children's footprints were Dipper and Mabel, not random kidnapped kids. (Bill likely wouldn't expect the reader to know this.) My eyes are also drawn to the green and red rectangles. The festive theming bring to mind a Christmas special, and how often are those only partly canon? So, then what's real about it? I believe the gloves, and possibly the snow globe was real, since they come up again later. I believe if there was a monster, Ford (or bill possessing ford 'then-DARKNESS') fought it off, traumatizing Fidds even more. Something made Fidds shaken up. Fidds and Ford probably spent Christmas together. And Bill did warn Ford about Fidds' second thoughts (mentioned in J3). Did Fiddleford notice Ford forgetting things? Did he assume Ford was simply unshaken by what happened? For me what seals the deal is the heavy vignette around those pages. Bill altered his memories of what happened and is telling us this story instead, probably to make it seem not as bad, so Ford wouldn't be so angry that Bill wasn't there/realize that he possessed Ford. I'm also suspicious of the "Trust No One." at the end. Did this phrase really come from Bill? Wouldn't Bill be saying 'Trust me'? To be honest, it's possible the last page here was half a real conversation, but the way Ford suddenly changes his tune is strange AF and I suspect shenanigans for it. And the things Bill says are very different from 'F is not bold enough to follow through.' (J3 code, An Encounter) Also, most of these pages seem to have no reason to be ripped out, aside from mentioning Stan by name/drawing them, but he could have crossed that out, and the last page which Ford would have hidden from Fidds. If they were real in some form, Bill probably destroyed them to hide the truth.

Stanley memories pages- Real, not much to say about those. Goes after Bill's warning. Probably legitimately torn out by Ford since he'd want to keep these pictures before hiding J3. Though I do notice they are covering up a lot of red triangles, perhaps also drawn by Bill. No vignette.

Dream, or warning?- Before Jan. 17th. Real, since I can't see why Bill would make up a warning about himself. He wants the reader to trust him. The heavy vignette, again, indicates he made Ford forget about it and destroyed the pages before he could solve it, which would probably be easy since it was a dream. The laughter+fire at the end indicates Bill discovered them. Just a fun side note: the song referenced is 'Im your puppet'

"I was wrong about everything" spread- I think goes in the gap where the black scribbled out pages are in J3. Again, the Author's cipher is here, indicating these are real. Vignette again. Bill's possessing Ford a lot, trying to erase the idea of fighting back from his mind(unsuccessfully), likely also hiding these pages. More red triangles.

Bill-proof suit- Goes after The Blind Eye- references being banned from the library, Blind eye mentions still researching Bill. J3 said he discovered the chant to enter someone's mind by researching Bill, so he could also find the anti-cipher society and the cassette. Real. Bill likely destroyed these pages and the previous ones to try and slow down Ford and erase his plans to destroy Bill. Vignette.

Zom-bills to Looky Here: After 'Ways to hide', as Zom-bills is written in invisible ink, but before the truck stop. (This would require Ford to have written on the right page first, then Bill tore the rest of these out, but not a huge stretch) Bill is fucking with Ford hard. He's probably taking his anger out on Ford while simultaneously trying to bully and manipulate him like he would do to his henchmaniacs, as he says later. Vignette on most of these- he's constantly possessing Ford and making him black out, trying to manipulate his memory to make him compliant/torture him. Bill likely destroyed the cassette+the memory of it so it couldn't be used against him, as Ford presumably never gets the chance to. Why he's showing the reader this? He thinks it's funny. He could also be hoping to scare the reader, if the reader knows what he's capable of, they'll be more afraid, and fear and love are the same, right? Notably the sticky note page is only a little darkened, probably because Bill genuinely was trying to talk at first. I can't find any evidence that these are fake, but there's no codes indicating they're real either. I think they were real, but Bill destroyed at least some of them.

(Side note: Computer code: Oroborous. Curiously uses Bill's cipher, bill writes in J3 too. These pages are also vignetted. Bill wouldn't like Ford knowing he showed fear. He also purposefully didn't give the reader these 'missing pages', because he hates them and doesn't want to reveal his fear.)

Polaroids- Did Ford destroy this himself like the VHS? Trying to avoid being blamed for things Bill did? Just ashamed/horrified? Curiously, no vignette on the polaroids (this could be just to have the full page visible), or Bill wanted Ford to remember these to have the threat sink in fully. Probably actually happened, Bill doesn't really have a reason to fake these pages as they make him look worse/scarier.

Blackness/'No' pages: This is largely where my theory that vignette=memory manipulation makes the most sense, The darkness overtaking the page represents bill's influence and control, and stops resembling the journal pages much (though it could be invisible ink again). He can mess with Ford's mind as much as he likes. If these pages were ever real, Bill could have destroyed them himself too. Bill's pretty much telling the story here.

Fidds page, S page- Gin made another excellent post pointing out the problems with these. They're a bit redundant when compared to J3, aren't they? And in oddly specific ways. The use of the brother code indicates they're real, though. If Bill erased Ford's memories of these pages, him basically re-writing them makes sense, and also Ford going from 'the caves hold the answer' to 'the caves might hold the answers', the snow going from 'begun to fall' to 'has fallen', and going 'fidds wont speak to me'! instead of 'my assistant has clearly left me'. In some way Ford has probably retained a bit of his plans, but its not a stretch to say he'd loop his train of thought after losing memories. The "I grow maddened" at the edge is very shaky and blurry, which could reflect the shaky and blurry memory.

I also notice (this has probably been pointed out before) now in J3 that only once outside of Gravity Falls (route 14) can Ford plan clearly. Perhaps Cipher's influence is weaker outside the town? It makes sense. if Ford sent the postcard and made his plan while free(ish) of Bill's meddling, that's why Bill couldn't just erase his memory of his plan again.

So...yeah! Some are definitely fake. Some are placed or altered intentionally to serve a narrative. Bill could be manipulating the reader's and ford's memory to have never seen these pages. Some of these memories could have been simply warped, or erased later- not right away. I'll be honest I don't love the implication that Bill can just manipulate Ford's memories freely, so I'm sure there are significant limitations to it. Bill has to stall for the whole book and give away a lot of secrets in order to change the reader's brain enough for him to be satisfied, and even then it's not enough to make the reader give in. Bill's abilities are much less than he purports. He also says that the person can notice his 'tune-ups', so there is only so much he could alter someone's brain before they notice. However, if he's been messing with Ford's head this long, he'd have a big advantage. Is the explanation that Bill erased Ford's memory a little lazy? ...Yeah? But it also kind of heightens how badly Ford was being manipulated and why he got so paranoid and unhinged there. It lets a lot of these puzzle pieces fit together that wouldn't otherwise.

My vignette theory isn't super strong, I'll admit, but I think it definitely indicates something, given some pages don't have it when they could have. They could also simply indicate those pages were burned, though it being on the fake pages makes less sense then. Bill having destroyed the pages himself makes sense for a lot of the pages, but I cant rule out the possibility Ford did destroy some of them out of frustration/shame.

Something I also realized while going through J3 again is how many 'doodles' in J3 involve red triangles. (you can see an example on Frilliam's page) The triangles I assumed were Ford's obsession with Bill, but what if they were Bill's obsession? For another post perhaps.

So, what do y'all think? Ideas? Agree? Disagree? Things I missed? Questions? Something huge that shatters my whole theory? Let me know!

[saltedcaramelchaos]

Wonderlust theory thoughts !! Just finished the first episode :D (these are very disorganized but we just roll with it)

Troy's first bit is pretty cut-and-dried as far as I can tell, it's very much to show the character in his natural habitat, but we'll probably get more context as the series goes on!

Aside from the character, THE STEAMPUNK VIBES ARE SO COOL AAAHHH!! Using flipbooks as play-by-plays? Whatever that interview camera thing was? Using "cogs" as currency?!? YES PLEASE

Also, I see you May. Where were you going so quickly :eyes:

Runt and the street rats are so interesting to me,,, my first thought was "oh there's poor people even in the 'utopia'", but then they actually were stealing from uplanders iirc!

This implies that Doppler + the gang have some way to get up above, without running into the clockwork soldiers. That will definitely be relevant later.

Also it might end up being important who exactly it was that they were stealing medicine from

Come to think of it, why is it always medicine that's being stolen/transported? It could just be a way to show that the characters are kind and care about others, or it could be emphasizing a deep flaw in the system Reclaim runs on...

side note that moment when runt saw the moon and went "how'd they make that".... ough. I don't think that adds a dimension to the worldbuilding other than the character detail of "SHE'S NEVER SEEN THE MOON BEFORE and most people here probably haven't either", but wow, way to emotionally destroy me with a single throwaway line grizzlyplays

More steampunk gadgets yaaayyy! so far between the clockwork soldiers and the mites, all the security measures up above seem like they go WAY TOO HARD. Is it a way to control people through fear? Do they secretly know there's a whole society underneath? Is it to protect something, maybe those purple stones? Is it just the person making them being unconcerned if people die at their hands? I'm so sure this means something (<-"troy's dad is a villain" truther)

Blink's turn! This man has SO many secrets and I can't wait to learn all of them. What was his relationship to Aeon? Why is he here now? Why is he on the run?

More specifically, he said something to- maybe shopkeeper guy-? about how he can't stop helping people. It sounded like a personal-promise-slash-oath kind of thing. He's clearly already been through character development; in his conversation with Aeon neither of them were happy about how the other has "changed"... that's so fascinating to me, is he a paladin? He does this out of the goodness of his heart, sure, but he sure talks like he's at least emotionally bound to it. What could have happened to cause his adamance that helping people is the right thing to do, and that Aeon isn't doing that?

Speaking of Aeon, I 100% agree with the person that said she got to Troy first. It did strike me as suspicious that he had a whole chase scene with Blink Specifically and not anyone else

From what I caught, the vixens are pretty much the self-imposed policemen/tax collectors of Reclaim! I wonder what the general public thinks of them...

that's all I can think of at the moment! let me know if anything on here has been proven or disproven because I tend to ignore the very obvious details for the character/worldbuilding ones LOL

[kiiirtiiiniii]

I love your lineart, how clean and expressive it is! And your little Riebeck comics, they always make me so happy to see

Do you think you could talk a little about your process? I’m working on my own style right now, so I’m asking some of my favorite artists how they create, and how they learned how to create the way they do! Practice, but what kinds? How do you get such lovely doodles and art with such simple shapes?

WOW AAAAHHH thanks for the sweet ask!! I can absolutely do that!

The big overarching answer is exactly what you said & the answer no one wants to hear (I get it lmao): practice, straight up, preferably in a way you can sustain interest in so you can keep it up because inefficient is better than nothing.

I've been drawing since I could smear toddler fingerpaint on a page, so more than 25 years, and I took art classes all through highschool plus a few college level art classes. The things I think I'd recommend specifically over anything else are 1) exploring different mediums and methods (like charcoal on large paper & acrylics on actual canvas, and realism & abstract), even if you use dollar-store tier stuff (nothing wrong with that babey, that's what my fiance and I use for therapy painting!!) and 2) making sure you practice life drawing from photos at the very least, or live models if you can get yourself into a situation where that's an option.

To not just give you what is really common advice that almost feels canned at this point; the reasons I recommend these things specifically! Under a cut so this post isn't 300 years long. lol.

Even if you don't stick with charcoals or paints, trying them out a few times will give you the physical knowledge of how those mediums feel in action. Then, going back to mediums you prefer (maybe pencil and paper or digital like me), you'll understand better how to use the tip of the pencil at different angles, or the weird painterly brushes in your toolbar, and what things they can achieve for you re: sharp lines, gradients, gestural effects, blending, etc.

And again, even if you don't do abstract or realism or whatever style very often or at all, you'll know how it feels to slap shapes and colours down quickly and emotionally (nothing like capturing a raw feeling in colour), or the process of studying a photo so thoroughly you see and draw details you never noticed before (the way shadows are tinted by light bouncing around, for example), and you can apply that to something you find more engaging, like maybe character art (that's my MO I love drawing little guys lol).

Finally, life drawing, literally the most important way to practice and also quite possibly the most booooring. You have to find a way to apply it that makes you interested. I love making fast, sharp, innacurate lines, and I love taking my time drawing a perfect shape. I combine those by getting the essence of a pose down from a photo or my fucked up lil brain with gestural lines, then erasing and redrawing with more careful strokes until it looks right.

THAT specifically, is bad advice. Just erasing and redoing until something "looks right", but that's what I do and it's why it takes me 6 hours to sketch a comic page. But I'm not doing this for money and I probably never will, so it works for me. If it works for you, too, that's sick!! It's the lazy way to do it lol. You're SUPPOSED to do studies until you KNOW how things are shaped and how the lines should fall, so you can get it in a couple tries. More work for more payoff, right? That's how comic artists spit out like 2 or 3 pages a day.

A couple more things I found really helpful while I was learning (i say as if im not still learning and will be until i die): youtube tutorials (not joking) and blind-trace-reference-blind studies (I'll explain).

I don't have any reccs for you with the youtube tutorials because I did all that when I was younger and I cannot for the life of me remember who the hell I was watching, but it was a lot of different artists from professional to amateur to beginner sharing tips and tricks they found helpful. Top ten tips for artists kind of stuff. It's why I draw lightning bolt limbs and other sketch skeleton stuff like ball heads and guidelines to orient facial features. I hated that shit before I realized how much it actually genuinely helps.

Blind-trace-reference-blind studies are not called that but I don't know what they're actually called so whatever lol. It's really simple: you pick some specific thing (like a great white shark) and draw it 4 times: First blind, without a reference, purely from memory. Then, directly tracing a reference image (if you can). Then drawing normally from a reference. Last, drawing blind again without a reference. Then compare the first and last drawings for fun :3c

It's a good way to reassure yourself that you can improve and the studying and practice isn't useless, and it's also a good way to actually learn very specific stuff. The process can also be simplified down to blind-reference-stylize, where the last step isn't blind but instead drawing the subject in your style/simplified for speed and ease. I did this recently with hearthian mouths because they were pissing me off lol.

Very last advice: DRAW SHIT BAD AND OFTEN

Draw your favourite characters, draw your prescription bottles, draw your friends, draw your breakfast, draw them all really bad but try to capture the details even if it looks like shit, especially if it looks like shit. Fill a fancy sketchbook you got for your holiday of choice with garbage-tier doodles and never let it see the light of day. Scribble in your art program and then delete it!! Art isn't sacred, it's human, and you have to do it the way you do other human things like cooking and socializing; badly, often, and eventually well enough you can enjoy the results :D

Thanks again for the ask, hopefully I answered in a way that helps you figure things out and improve :] This was fun to answer <3333

[jeding-png]

Hello! I saw your comments about chapters. I'm really interested about your opinion. In chapter 153 Derrick and Yvonne are talking. Between it's scene with three flowers.

It's interesting that blue flower (rose ??) is close to pink one than to darker pink flower. Which symbolise that Derrick (blue flower) (he even has dark blue flower in his suit) is closer to Yvonne (pink flower) than to Penelope (dark pink flower). We know that she use a manipulation and dark magic but that's not important. Can it be foreshadowing that Derrick "betrays" Penelope ?

I'm interested about your opinion!

Wow! Thank you for your comment and quite an interesting topic to discuss! :D

Actually, a few weeks ago I was planning to do a separate post about how SUOL-nim often leaves details in the manhwa, and it was about these flowers too (then I was too lazy to write, lol).

I can't say for sure if you've read the novel or know some parts, but I'll try to speak only based on the manhwa to avoid sudden spoilers! All the more, it will be interesting to see what hints are already left to the readers ^^

Firstly... I thought it was actually Derrick, Reynold, and Penelope—... but your observations are quite valid and also interesting!

And that is why let's consider both options~!

We first saw these flowers in chapter 105 during a conversation between Penelope and Derrick.

Derrick's office has space, nothing superfluous, everything in a strict style, and dark/cool colors. The only things that catch our eye because of their colors and more attention in the art are these three flowers and the cage with the bird.

You rightly point out that we see these flowers again in chapter 153 during Derrick and Ivonne's conversation. That is, they appear in a conversation with both daughters of the duke, who have different moods and goals, but Derrick's attitude towards both of them is revealed.

1) Derrick, Reynold, and (og?)Penelope.

The blue and pink flowers are Derrick and Reynold respectively, and the crimson flower is obviously Penelope. Interestingly, Penelope's flower is full of additional details unlike the other two, giving the impression of a crystalline material.

Blue and pink flowers stand looking at the sun's rays, but in different directions. However, their different paths, different views, and characters don't prevent them from standing next to each other, with their backs to each other.

The crimson flower stands in the shade, separated from the other two flowers. Tbh I associate it more with the Original Penelope and the situation that existed for six years.

And again, during the conversation in chapters 105-106, Derrick does not say that he does not care at all about Penelope. In his own way, he shows concern. He softened when Penelope was upset about the position of Eckles, said that he wanted to get Penelope out of prison with his methods. Because he is also responsible for her.

But Derrick can not understand Penelope and does not always listen to her words. And his feelings are different from those towards Ivonne.

Still, it's in the next chapter (or 156) that you will notice one important change.

2) Derrick, Penelope, and Ivonne.

Kind person, your words made me look at these flowers in the context of chapter 153 differently!

This fragment of the conversation was shown to us earlier than it was in the novel... and in a certain sense I approve of such a decision on the part of SUOL-nim.

Not just so I could see Derrick's nice suit, of course, hehehe~

Okay, back to the position of the flowers! In this context, all the flowers look in different directions, similar to the previous one, however-!

The blue flower is close to pink, yes, but it's like... hesitation? Derrick, unlike his father and younger brother, didn't want to believe until the last that Ivonne wouldn't return home. No, it is better to say that she is dead. But his flower looks at none of the other flowers.

This chapter gives us a chance to glimpse some of Derrick's feelings. His pain, guilt, and cracked mask of calmness. He wants to believe that his sweet little sister is back. He didn't want Ivonne to suffer and be away from her family all these years, Derrick worries that she would feel sad during Penelope's coming-of-age ceremony.

But at the same time, he cannot completely ignore Penelope and his attitude towards her. He even looks at the bird, thinking exactly of the one to whom it should have belonged.

It's quite interesting that his eyes don't have that blue light that indicates brainwashing. It's no exception that Ivonne has already used the mirror shard on Derrick, but it's generally Derrick's most sincere feelings.

Does this foreshadow Derrick favoring Ivonne over Penelope? Quite possible. But it will not be a very easy choice, behind which there will be something deeper and... ambiguous.

Derrick will look back at Ivonne. Derrick will think of her as the Ivonne he lost six years ago. But this doesn't mean that Penelope doesn't occupy any place in his heart.

This doesn't mean that he will react indifferently when it comes to Penelope.

Still, I think that Derrick himself cannot fully understand what he feels. Has guesses, has doubts. The fact that he may be a wonderful heir to the dukedom does not mean that he will also understand from the first time why he reacts in one way or another.

Especially me. For example, I like to look for the reason for the actions of certain characters, and only then give a subjective opinion as to whether it sounds convincing or justifies the character. Sorry, Derrick, I understand you, but I can't justify it.

The fact is that the story is also based on Penelope's face. First, it forms the reader's attitude towards some characters. And I did not see in the novel that there was a scene that would make me say "No, Penelope, you think so, but in fact everything is completely different!"

The next chapter will show what step Derrick dares to take.

But with these details SUOL-nim really leaves us little hints. It's both interesting for those who read the manhwa and a pleasant surprise for those who read the novel.

Actually, I have pretty superficial findings and research, and I may not be saying everything that is on my mind... and I should have written about this before this long post, where there is a lot of water in the text—

But I really thought the topic was quite interesting for discussion, and maybe other readers or you want to add something! Thank you very much!! <3

[ask-postcrash-curly]

[ive been here since i saw the literal first post about him hearing voices in the tag and i have to say even if i only started sending asks more recently this is probably my favorite writing of his character ive seen, and definitely my favorite ask blog for him. ive loved how you wrote him so much, i love how he actually has a sense of humor and tells jokes and runs with bits its so good and it easily serves to make the posts where he is actually in distress all the more heartbreaking. ive loved the world building youve done and the way youve done it, how curly reasonably does not know everything about the world he live in, ive loved how youve wrote him in pain and realistically out of it and ive loved how you wrote his character growth throughout this all. its all been such a treat. i always loved seeing it in the tag even if i never followed for some reason. i think i forgot i could do that lol honestly even outside of writing i love the details you put with the sunset screen turning into the warning sign, or the blog title changes. i love just how much effort i can tell you put in this blog. i honestly dont think i saw a post of yours that felt like you were slipping on how to write his character like i see from a lot of ask blogs so every casual little ask still felt like him and idk what goes on behind the scenes but just know i noticed that effort and i appreciate it and am deeply impressed. even if im not certain its over or not, i think you deserve to know how fun this whole ride has been for me. its been an absolute blast to watch start to finish(?) -see the day anon]

[oh wow thank you so much this is really sweet <33

i'm really glad you like all those details. it was important to me that in addition to representing his pain i also represented that he was the same person who he was before. pre-crash curly has a sense of humor, so post-crash curly should too, because that's the same guy fjkhdsfjk. gotta cope with the horrors somehow, right? tysm on the worldbuilding thing!!!! glad you liked the detail of curly not knowing everything too. and im really happy people enjoyed the character growth :)

yayyyyy thank you so much that's so nice of you!!! what goes on behind the scenes is a combination of audhd and perfectionism haha. sometimes if an ask was about something i knew i'd mentioned before i'd search the blog for that older post so i could make sure i was being consistent haha. i'm really happy you appreciated all the effort :)

<3333]

[e3rt]

so, a few days ago i've finished reading your story. i don't even want to call it rewrite, because while it sort of has all the key points of the original creepypasta, it can definitely qualify as a separate piece. it took me a bit long, i was reading the beginning of it in tiny pieces until finally sitting my ass down and reading it all at one breath. whoa. after i was done (i was reading it at night) i was just sitting in my bed staring in the dark for like. i don't know how long.

it's easily one of the best pastas I've read, man. it has those almost mystical/psychotic elements, but it's realistic and believable, and it's also not just dry "scary killer killing ppl boo", it touches so many topics and explores them gracefully. i also love how it's mostly liu's pov, because it offers a more reliable narrator (for the most time, anyways), while still being very subjective and closely related to main character himself. though im not sure who exactly is main character here, which is also great. oh, and as a an oldest sibling from an eastern european family, all members of which have issues.... lemme say it hits close to home.

it reminded me of süskind's "parfumer" in some parts; the gross naturalistic depictions of filth, dirt, violence, but also a level of beauty in it. I'm know artists might dislike being compared to others, but i just love finding parallels in my favorite works, so i don't mean any bad! I'm also in the process of adding songs to a playlist inspired by this rewrite, which is happening slowly as my playlist is disorganized af, but i will definitely share it once it'll have an adequate amount of songs (rn it's 3 and i need more for the full picture)

it turned out to be a bit long, but it's the first time a story on the internet has touched me in that way. you are an amazing writer (i also looove the concept art and don't mind if i end up stealing liu piercing pattern lol). i can only wish you the luck in anything you'll decide to put your mind to, whether it's a comic, story, art, etc. sending all the love

Wow your words have really touched me, I can’t understate how much this sort of feedback means to me as a creative.

The main issue I’ve had with so many rewrites previously is they conflate horror with gore and violence which really is more of a splatterpunk flavouring. I haven’t read the “parfumer” before but I MUST check it out now 🤍

It was very important for me to centre a lot of the perspective around Liu because so often he is left to be a back ground or supporting character to his own brother. I wanted the shift to fully Liu’s perspective to also reinforce how Jeff had “died” in the fire. The version of him we come to know is far gone so I purposefully removed his perspective.

These thoughtful messages detailing what resonated with YOU is so meaningful to me as well. I’ve always wanted my work to resonate with those who come across it, thank you for this

[aeoki]

[Idol Story] Esu Sagiri - Dream-à-Gogo 1

Characters: Hokuto, Esu & Fuyume Unlocked in: [5☆] Bursting Stardrop Season: Spring

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ< The second year ES was established. A day in May. >

Hokuto: …Hm?

I see you’ve come to “TrickStudio” today, Anzu.

Oh, don’t mind me – you can keep on working. I’d be happy if this place can be of use to you.

Speaking of which, are you making outfits? There are sketchbooks and fabric laid out.

…Hmm. So they’re outfits for idols who will be temporarily joining ES?

And you’ve already made contact with them? You always work so quickly, Anzu.

If you’re going to be making outfits for those idols, then it’s just as you’ve said: communication will be essential.

Outfits show each idol’s unique characteristics, so I think it’s a good idea to learn more about them through communication.

…Yeah. It’s good that you have more free time after leaving the “P-Organisation”.

But it does sadden me to see that you’ll no longer be using your free time in the future to make outfits for us anymore…

Hehe, I’m kidding. I also want to support you in what you want to do.

I’m… looking forward to seeing what sorts of outfits you’ll create for the new idols, Anzu.

Esu: Sagiri has just reached the park after a quick dash! He’s running continuously without a destination in mind – where will he be heading to!?

…………

That’s what I wanna knowwww! How long is he gonna chase me for!?

…Hm? I just got a notification on my phone.

Uhh, what’s this…? It’s from Anzu-san, the “producer”?

What business does she have with me? Am I getting scolded? Is she gonna lecture me?

No, no. I didn’t do any bad things at ES! I just mixed all the different juices and fizzy drinks and drank them all!

How about you stop saying stuff like that and look at her message? Yeah, I know~ I think I’ll do just that!

Let’s see. She wants to make “exclusive outfits” for the idols…

WHAT THE HECK IS THAT!?

Fuyume: Wha. Esu, don’t shout all of a sudden.

Esu: Whaa!? Don’t appear right next to me out of the blue like that! Is that how you want me to respond?

Fuyume: No, you just need to sweetly whisper, “I’m happy you came, Fuyume”...♪

Esu: Who’s whispering what to who now?

Anyway, I’m trying to check something important right now. That’s the whole reason why I let out that shout.

Look, I got a message from Anzu-san saying she wants to make me some sort of outfit.

Fuyume: Anzu-san? Why does she have your contact details?

Esu: What the? I just did the right thing by giving you an explanation, so why are you glaring at me with such a scary face?

And could you stop looking at my phone without my consent?

Fuyume: Hmph. It looks like… Anzu-san wants to make outfits for all the idols who’ll be temporarily joining ES.

Come to think of it, Yume thinks Yume also got a message from her earlier. If you’ve got one from her, then it makes sense that Yume must’ve gotten one too. Right?

…Ehehe, I knew it. Look, this Anzu person also wants to make an outfit for Yume ♪

Esu: You’re right. So does this mean Anzu-san wants to make outfits for all of us new idols?

Still, what sort of outfit is it gonna be?

We already have the standard ES idol one.

Since it’s an “exclusive outfit”, is it gonna be one that’s like “Wow~! Crazy~! That’s sooo Esu Sagiri~!!”!?

Fuyume: *Sigh…*

Esu: Why’d you let out a sigh!?

Fuyume: Well, it’s because you’re so childish, Esu.

You should make sure you read the entire message before letting your imagination run wild. It says this in the message: “It’s an outfit that shows each idol’s unique traits and charms”.

Esu: There are a bunch of people who’re always living inside their fantasies, so what you said is just gonna make them depressed.

Hmm? An “exclusive outfit” is one that “shows each idol’s unique traits and charms”?

Fuyume: That’s what’s written in the message. That’s why Yume decided that Yume will the one to design and make Yume’s outfit… hehe ♪

Esu: How did things come to that?

Fuyume: Well, Yume’s unique traits and charms are things that only belong to Yume, right?

A stranger will definitely not be able to make an outfit that shows off Yume’s charms… and Yume doesn’t want that, either.

Yume really thought things through. Did you not think about it at all, Esu? You just got all excited and made a fuss?

Esu: That’s not true. I mean, I literally just got the message. And besides…

Fuyume, you were the one who told me I should read the message carefully, right? Anzu-san says we should discuss ideas for our outfits with her.

I don’t think it’s right for you to decide that you’ll do it yourself, you know.

Fuyume: Hehe, Esu’s sulking.

You don’t have to go through the trouble of discussing ideas with Anzu-san. Yume will make the outfit for you, Esu ♪

It’ll be an outfit that’s perfect for you – it’ll be cool and amazing…♪

Esu: No, thank you!

Fuyume: Don’t be embarrassed as if it’s your mother that’s making it for you. Come on, let me get your measurements? Okay?

Esu: You’re not my mum and we’re standing in the middle of the park, you know!?

Sheeesh, I can’t even calmly type my reply to Anzu-san with you around!

I should get away from Fuyume for now – yeah, I’ll do just that.

Fuyume: Ah, Esu! Wait, Yume won’t forgive you for leaving Yume behind…!

Esu: …I remember now. I was being chased by him when I first came to the park too.

I don’t mind listening to what you have to say later, but don’t approach me just because you want to take my measurements!

Alright, Sagiri has started dashing off again. Where will he head next…!?

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤNext Chapter →

[the-down-upside-finch]

✨️Important News✨️

I hath opened commissions!

If you are interested in commissioning me, thank you from the bottom of my heart! Please read below for more details, and then go ahead and let me know with a comment or email! (We can also chat over Discord or Tumblr DMs)

Oh, wow, you hit the read more! Thank you for your interest! Okay, here are some things to keep in mind about my commissions:

☆ These are my character price sheets! I am not currently doing landscape commissions, but if you want a scene or background, we can definitely work that out!

☆ Payment is half up-front, then the rest when the piece is halfway complete.* (I currently accept payment through Venmo, and I will have my Ko-fi up and running soon.)

☆ I love drawing OCs, but I'm not limited to them! As long as I have refs, I can draw! (And I accept both written and drawn refs.**)

☆ I tend to draw on ~900×1200px canvases, so please let me know if you have a different size in mind!

☆ I currently cannot (and will not try to) draw the following:

Extreme gore/extremely bloody content (although I am okay to draw minor scrapes and whatnot)

Anything specifically meant to be sexually gratifying -- (Basically, NSFW stuff is a no! It's just not my sort of thing.)

Mechs/other robotic machines -- (The reason I won't draw mechs is because the current amount of effort I have to put into it is not a price I want to dangle in front of people. If you really want me to draw mech stuff, please reach out to me and we can talk about it and my current pricing!)

Anthropomorphic animals -- (I'm sorry, but I'm just not good at this yet! I don't want to be unable to deliver good art.) -- (This is different than humanoids with animal features! I'm better at drawing those.)

OCD triggers -- (for me, this includes needles and insects)

If you aren't sure whether or not something is within my realm of work, please ask me! I promise I won't be mean about it.

If you want to see some more examples of what I can do, please check out this page for specifics!

Thank you for scrolling all the way down here! I really appreciate your interest.

Here are the embedded images for potential higher quality:

The additional notes on the price sheets are as follows:

Both a color-coded & black-line version will be provided for uncolored sketches!

Please note that prices will vary based on complexity/level of detail

Simple glowy effects are free! Complex ones average an extra 3 USD.

(Referencing the bust and waist-up prices) Prices may vary depending on arm placement!

Colored sketches will not be "shaded", and coloring is loose (can go outside the lines)

Uncolored clean/detailed pieces can be filled gray or left white!

Colored clean/detailed piece will include appropriate shading, but there are options to choose from!

Things to note: -- Additional characters in a single commissioned scene will have a 40% discount. -- I will default to a solid gray background unless told otherwise! -- Complicated poses, props, and/or complex color palettes will increase the price!

Once again, thank you for your interest, and sorry for this insanely long post!

*If you would like to pay entirely upfront, that is perfectly fine!

**If you don’t have colored/a lot of refs, that’s okay! I will work with you during the sketching and coloring process to make sure I am drawing the character the way you want.

[jakeluppin]

a couple asks ago, you said "whenever I start working on my novel, the first song I listen to is Pin" and now i'm super curious about your novel!! care to share any details??

okay so i have two (well, i have like twenty i've done bits on since i started writing but two that are still somewhat being worked on now) but one of them is barely anything beyond a rough idea so i'll focus on the one that's more legit

i wrote about 90% of a first draft (about 60K) and then realized there were some fundamental issues with it so i started over

i have about 16K done of my new draft, some of which is brand new and some of which is revised from the first

it's a ya romance because that's where my heart has always been

for main characters we have (which as i'm writing these i realize i am So Bad at describing characters in this way whoops):

jake - jewish trans guys who is only out to his older sister (rachel). at this point, their parents are gone/dead (i've been back and forth on exactly what went down) so rachel's raising him. he's been in love with his best friend (caleb) since basically forever. he does stage crew for his school's theater department.

caleb - jake's best friend. he's gay. he has a crush on their mutual friend peter. he's one of those people who are just so loving that it's so easily to just get lost in. but also a total dick at the same time?

peter - he's really into theater, always in every production, which is how jake and peter met. just before the story starts peter and caleb were running lines for something and peter kisses caleb. described by other characters as being the nicest person you've ever met.

and then there's asher - his family just moved to town as his mom is the new cantor at jake's synagogue. he's also into theater and auditions for the fall musical, alongside peter. jake and caleb are there watching and jake hears him sing and is like. oh. shit. i'm in love. it's not revealed until midway through the book but asher is also a trans guy.

it's basically just a coming of age love story where jake finds himself and love and it's just really gay and jewish and probably very self indulgent but who cares?

oh also i have switched which musical they do multiple times for various reasons and right now it's Newsies but it may change again. but obviously asher, my beloved, is cast as davey jacobs so it is pretty perfect in that regard

gonna just throw some random lines/short scenes from draft two under the cut because i can. feel free to not read them haha

“You can’t seriously be doing homework now,” Caleb scoffs a moment later. 

I look up from my assignment and just shrug. “I’m simply not as invested in this as you are,” I offer.

“But you should be. For me. This is an important moment in my love life.”

I chuckle. “I love you, Caleb, but I think overall if I was as invested in your love life as you are, that would be a little weird.”

“Nope. I’m pretty sure it’s in the best friend manual that you’re supposed to care about it as much as I do. Sometimes maybe even more.”

“Can I have a copy of this best friend manual? I want to check the exact wording on that.”

“Sorry, only one copy was made and I keep it under lock and key.” Caleb smiles bright, and I roll my eyes in response.

--

“But seriously, you were amazing at your audition. I’m not just saying that or anything.”

“Thanks. I grew up singing. I think my mom might have disowned me if I didn’t end up with a good voice.”

“Really?” 

Asher laughs again. “Wow, you are gullible or I am not as funny as I think I am. But no, my mom would not have disowned me if I didn’t have a good voice.”

It’s this moment that Rabbi Finkle steps out of her office and says, “Asher, don’t lie. No self respecting cantor could stand to have unmusical children, just like I couldn’t stand to have children who do anything but read torah all day.” She smiles at us both, light in her eyes.

“Isn’t your oldest an atheist?” I ask.

“Yes, but he still reads torah ever day.” She laughs.

--

“So how was it?” I ask, sliding in Caleb’s car. He smiles wide as he turns to face me.

“Peter was amazing. Obviously. There’s something just, sexy about watching a guy dance.” He pauses, sighing, and then says, “I’m really gay.”

I laugh. “Really? I had no idea!”

“Yeah, not like I told you for the first time when we were like, nine or something.”

“Oh yeah, that definitely never happened.” 

Caleb chuckles and drives off. 

I can vividly remember when Caleb came out, the emotions so strong they stay pressed in mind. I can remember his fear, his hesitation, as he told me in a small voice that he liked boys. I can remember the confusion, not understanding what he meant, not sure what that meant for me. I can remember the happiness and his smile when I said there was nothing wrong with him “like liking” boys. I remember the ache I felt, when after telling him I like boys too, he told me “girls are supposed to like boys.” That ache I didn’t understand, that ache I couldn’t place for years, that ache that would come when Caleb would refer to me as a girl. 

“Were you scared telling me?” I ask a few minutes later, even though I know the fundamental answer.

“Of course,” he says. “I was nine. I was gay. And you were my best friend. Why wouldn’t I be afraid?” 

I nod in agreement. It’s something that, of course, I can understand. Just the thought of it causes anxiety to crawl up skin, pulling tight at my throat. It stops me from saying the things I want to say, things I know I need to say. The things I can’t imagine ever actually telling him.

Like: I’m in love with you.

Like: I’m trans.

Like: Yes. That means I’m guy. Which, if you remember the I love you part, would make me gay too. Or bi. Not totally sure about that yet.

Like: Main point being, I want to be with you and date you and I know you probably don’t or won’t ever see me as anything but your girl best friend but maybe you could. 

Yeah. Probably a good thing I’m not saying any of that.

--

“...Honestly, the challah was so good and reminded me of mom’s that I had a breakdown. Standard stuff, ya know. Who doesn’t have breakdowns over delicious Jewish foods?”

“Are you even Jewish if you don’t have breakdowns over delicious Jewish food?” Asher counters.

[i-love-sweet-william]

out of context pre-stozyers #7

it's been a long while. I have a lot of drafts that were just Not Done Enough that have been sitting around for...literal years at this point. but I decided to maybe try to post some anyway

so uhhh have Richie/stozier's early pov of Will + Notes

—

R: my roommate might legit be a zombie. I've never met anyone That dead inside before and I grew up with Bill (...do you think it's a William Thing??) dude's only tethered to the land of the living by like a few spider threads and a pot of coffee

S: wow. what a description. I'm sure he'd appreciate hearing that

R: hey do not snitch on me! you're not allowed to repeat the shit I confess in confidence!

-

R: I really think I can work with this. his music taste is impeccable and his band t-shirts are worn to optimal softness. this is gonna be a good final year. I can feel it. in my balls.

S: lovely

-

R: I can't tell if he's ignoring me or just mentally peaced out from brain matter withdrawal....or maybe he's listening to full albums in his head and my instrumental-less voice simply isn't worth pausing for. should I—

S: do not fucking serenade him in your dormitory just to test that theory.....at least do it outside so you can be properly witnessed and viciously mocked by the student body

R: you're so right, I'll report back to you tomorrow

-

R: (quietly) bro I swear to god I think he buys espresso off the black market to shoot directly into his veins like heroin.

S: is that really what you called to tell me. I'm hanging up—

R: wait wait wait! no okay listen, forget the zombie thing, I feel bad now, and I'm only telling you this because you'll never meet him and I can't just ask what's going on because I'm physically incapable of discussing Serious Shit in a Serious Way and I don't wanna make shit awkward the first week into the semester and it would be—

S: Richie.

R: right okay—

so listen. in a previous fandom, there was a character with Big Hospital Trauma and I...I used T shots to prompt angst. I had a trans guy who was chill about his shit like he wasn't trying to hide it or anything but also didn't feel the need to explain it unless asked, so the character with Hospital Trauma would see the needles or just the very specific marks left by needles and immediately assume the worst, that their new friend was secretly on death's door and would die shortly after they bonded.

Richie doesn't have hospital trauma but he still got worried that maybe whatever the medication was for was why Will had so little energy and felt a little bad about possibly having judged uh tHE EXHAUSTION OF FIGHTING SOME UNSPECIFIED CHRONIC OR TERMINAL ILLNESS (he previously assumed it was just exhaustion from moving in so it was fair game to mock). anyway Will's not sick but he is autistic and traumatized and fucking tired.

btw Will took a gap year so he's the same age as the losers but one year behind in college. that's not important. but I'm mentioning everything else why not go off on one more unnecessary detail. aight back to stozier dialogue

-

R: he gives me these serious "done with your shit" vibes—

S: you get those vibes from everyone.

R: ......okay, first of all, Rude. second, there are multiple types of "done with your shit" vibes, and his are like yours. like for instance today the way he begged me to shut the fuck up and tried to light me on fire with intense eye contact alone reminded me of you...almost feels like I'm at home.

S: he seems competent. I like him

-

R: Will shared caffeine with me today and I felt so fucking soft holy shit, I mean I'm saving it for tonight I didn't wanna crash in class [sometimes caffeine helps chill out ADHD people, some can even use it as a sleep aid, and I chose to give Richie that trait], but—

S: maybe he was trying to knock you out

R: what? nah.......oh shit maybe....no......you think— 

-

R: b..bro. y'know th.....y'know that Eyebrow Thing Ben does when he's...really into some poetry shit. W—Will has a Thing. but it's f—it's fuckin...he sticks his tongue out—like just a tiny bit—and it's. it's so fucking blessed. holy fuckin shit.

S: are you okay

R: no. no I'm fucking not. I might cry. I'm having a fucking meltdown over a mlem. fuck.

-

R: I heard the cutest softest most angelic laugh in the world today ohhh my god. like if you took Bev's warmth, and Eddie's innocence, and your upsettingly persistent aversion to expressing loud positive emotion which prevents anything more than a sinister little nightmare giggle, and rolled them all into one. that's Will's 

S: ..........I'm sorry, sinister li—?

R: I said what I said. and I still love and cherish it because it's a part of you💜

S: disgusting, thank you

-

R: your #1 source for new Byers trivia is back babey, today we've uncovered the movie snack of choice and the method w—

S: Please just get to it

R: reese's pieces. one at a time. like a fuckin.....hamster eating seeds. it gives the same effect as watching Mike lift hay bales with his massive sexy arms and then 5 minutes later be delicately eating little berries or some shit. except the hay bales are stage props and the berries are imposter m&ms

S: I'm gonna pretend you didn't just insult reese's pieces like that

-

R: he always seems moments from passing out so I wanted to share my energy through osmosis and tried to hold him and you won't fucking believe what happened

S: he punched you in the face

R: he let me!! just carried on with his business like I didn't even exist!!! what does that mean?!?! did he not even know I was there?? did he know and not care because he's already adjusted to my glorious presence??? is he actually just chill about it and I finally have a compliant body pillow after three years of loneliness???? I NEED TO KNOW THE TRUTH—but I was too shook in the moment to ask

S: .........good luck with figuring that out

Stan's not worried or anything like he's had 20 years to get used to how touchy Richie is. he genuinely wouldn't mind if Richie had a person to use like a "body pillow" when he's away from all his Losers, and doesn't see an issue if Will ends up okay with being an outlet for Richie's pent up physical affections. besides Will doesn't seem to have shown any particular interest anyway

......and that's because he's the type of aro that just doesn't even think about romance shit unless someone asks him to think about it (or there's literally someone standing in front of him giving a confession). however if asked, he would still label himself gay because the last time he had to think about it he came to the conclusion that, hypothetically, if he were to be in a relationship, it would probably be with another guy. but he has no interest in searching for specific terms for himself when he could spend his time like.....having fun instead of having a perpetual identity crisis. if he's not in or pursuing a relationship, why should it matter to him??

meanwhile Stan's the type of aro that Did think about hypothetical relationships but never pursued one, but also wouldn't mind if someone did want one with him, so he just had to say yes when Richie eventually asked about going out with him. Stan only starts pursuing Will because he's half of stozier and it would feel weird to him to let Richie "do all the work" when it was a Mutual decision to see if Will had any interest in Them.

also Stan's aware of more terms, he Wanted to study up, and is aware of his place on asexual spectrum (and wears a black ring to silently display it), but since he's been in a long term relationship with Richie he's less concerned with claiming arospec

okay jesus christ I'll shut the fuck up none of this is important but There's A Lot Okay

-

S: what's wrong with your voice, it sounds like after we—

R: listen man.....I was legit blasted into the stratosphere like Team Rocket and then dropped back to earth just as hard. let me catch my fucking breath

S: you...do mean mentally right? what'd he do this time

R: .....yeah, mentally. mind: blown, worldview: shook, lessons: learned.

-

R: I used the Platonic Pleasure Zone on him

S: you what

R: I used—

S: no don't fucking repeat it I heard you the first time. why the fuck do you insist on saying that. no one says that besides you

R: do you wanna know how he reacted or not

S: *deep fucking breath* carry on

R: (instantly softer voice) like a tired kitten holy fuck....I thought he was actually gonna fall asleep until—uh...........I spoke

S: uh huh. did you tell him you Used The Platonic Pleasure Zone

R: yes

S: and did he go for a chokehold

R: No but there was a very sexy shirt grab and even sexier glare

btw the "platonic pleasure zone" just refers to like.....back pat/shoulder squeeze/hair ruffle level intimacy that Can feel really nice and soft but can Also be done in a casual way that doesn't mean anything. but Richie uses that shit specifically in a soft comfy way, and Will is too stupid to notice anything unusual until Richie verbally states what he's doing

-

R: (whispering) he sings.....

S: (also quiet for some reason) like for a minor?

R: no dude........just.......I don't even know if he knows he's doing it but he's doing it and I'm having palpitations it's too much.....it's too quiet to be on purpose it's gotta be unintentional right?? no one should be allowed to be this soft I can't do this I'm....bro next time Ima send you a fucking recording I don't give a fUck—

-

R: after weeks of patient training, I am now able to cradle the William in my lap. I saw the face of god the first several attempts, but now we can cuddle in peace. we've learned to navigate this cramped habitat. we live in harmony.

S: why are you suddenly talking like he's a feral animal—

R: because he absolutely is and it's great. I could perish any day now but it would be okay because he'd make my death quick.

S: wh....what did I miss

R: nothing at all don't worry about it~👍

-

R: where was he in previous years. what universe was he hiding in. I needed him. I wanna bring him home with me. do you think it's legal to take him across state lines??

S: well don't just fucking toss him in the trunk. I'm not out here studying to be a lawyer. use your words like a functional human being.

R: ........you think I'm functional??? that's the most romantic thing you've ever said to me.....

S: let's not get ahead of ourselves. I said "like" a functional human being

-

in the first post I said "Stan's seen some of Will's drawings online" but now....now you get to know more of the Context of Stan seeing those "drawings". if anyone doesn't like the idea of an asexual Will drawing vent porn and didn't see that coming, now would be the time to stop reading

R: (ultra high speed) okay I know this sounds like a fuckin joke but I am being so serious rn when I say I think I've been rooming with one nastyass motherfucker, holy fucking shit—

S: what—

R: I mean you would not believe the shit I just saw and there was so much of it bro like deadass he might be a freak—

S: R—

R: Our kind of freak.

S: …

R: .........

S: .............oh.

R: .........................should I try to find out?? I mean of course I'm gonna find out. how fuckin insane would it be for my sweet innocent caffeine-fueled feral child to have been One Of Us this whole fucking time, how the fuck could I not notice—

-

R: disclaimer, I got permission to expose his filth blog like this...after. exposing all of us. to him....but Anyways uh jesus fucking christ dude how tf did he manage to be so active without me noticing.....I'll text you the blog name I forgot how he said it already, shouldn't even have a pronunciation, some random shit like...vuh.....vufi..bifim…

S: ............vwhbfmbu? [first letter in s1 ep titles]

R: yeah that! how tf did you say that out loud.......wait. have you been...?? no...no. Stan. Stanley. Stanford. hey. answer me. do not hang up. Staniel. you look at porn without me? and on the fucking regular if you're familiar with that Literal Gay Keysmash of a username! what kind of—I can't believe this!! the betrayal!!! STANLEY!!!!!

-

from here to the end, stozier is texting at various points during the following days but like.....make Richie's messages barely decipherable and split into numerous tiny texts (which is why Stan's able to interrupt), and give Stan's messages uncomfortably proper capitalization/punctuation

R: do you think Will knows he's a monsterfucker?? his tag usage is sHIT

S: he's not a monsterfucker there is literally no fucking happening

R: babe you don't gotta fuck to be a Fucker. I mean just look in the mirror

S: jesus fucking christ

R: you looked in the mirror and saw selfcest? that's hot.

S: you're going to hell god told me himself

R: oh shit god's there too??? Spicy [Stan turned off his phone after that] wait come back!! we haven't determined whether he knows or not!!!

-

R: do you think he had an Awakening, or just always knew but didn't know it was a thing to be known? do you think he had any gross friends like we had each other, or kept it to himself until I fucked up his perfect record? do you think he's just here for the eldritch horror shit, or thinks about shit that's actually possible too? do you think he—

S: he's literally like 5 feet away from you why are you asking me Any of this

R: .......dude do you want him to die??? I thought he was gonna have an aneurysm when I first told him I found his forbidden sketchbook, and he had one foot in the grave by the time he gave up that blog name. if I ask for more details directly he might just vanish from this plane of existence. we gotta be Delicate

S: you've never been delicate in your fucking life

-

R: maybe he's tired all the time because he expends all his energy in secret. I mean I've never caught him drawing in that sketchbook and Also never caught him jacking off. coincidence? I Think The Fuck Not

S: go to sleep Richard

-

R: I gotta admit......for not having any reaction to hen tie jokes he makes good tentacle porn

S: they're vines

R: ok sure but I'm not gonna say "vine porn" that just sounds like 6 second videos of—

S: and it's hardly porn. this is some aesthetic shit

R: ......buddy if I can get off on it, it's porn

S: you can get off on anything your opinion doesn't fucking count. you could get off on two lines of shitty chicken scratch in a bathroom stall.

R: you underestimate me. I can even get off on Nothing thanks to all the memories you've given me

S: compliments won't make me change my mind

-

R: what if like—

S: you know what? give me his number. I'll fucking ask him myself

R: .....my heart says don't do this, Will is already suffering. but my hand says 618-555-0189

S: you sure took a lot of convincing

—

Stan was just gonna message Will real briefly (preferably like a Normal Person who Didn't have memories of old posts/tags Will had probably forgotten he ever typed), see if he could get a couple of Richie's dumb questions answered, and then leave him alone. clearly that didn't happen. they bonded over roasting Richie.

if you want to know the general vibe of what's going on in Will's art, just think of various ways to be trapped/restrained.

for instance like the vines that caught Hopper in s2. or for clown reference, there's also "spiderwebs" but it's visually more like that corpse pile at the end of s1 that Will was stuck in. so it's "hardly porn" in that yeah there's no fucking, and it does have An Aesthetic, but like....you're not gonna make it your phone lockscreen and try to convince some random person who sees it that it's 100% sfw.

it's vent porn in that he draws when he feels Some Kind Of Way but he tends not to draw the faces of whoever/whatever is restrained. but when he does, it could be any kind of emotion. whether it's panicked or defiant or just resigned or even out cold. or something else.

[tessabennet]

hi!! ive been rereading the ‘what i’m looking for’ series, it’s so so good. one of the things i admire most about it is your addition of details to riley’s story. do you have anything to say on why you did that or why you chose some of the details you added in? i’ve always been drawn to sam’s story and riley by extension, do you have any personal hcs about him?

Hi! Oh wow, thank you so much ☺️ This is a great question!!

To me, those little pieces of information that are kind of throwaway details about even the most minor of characters are the heart of a story, if that makes sense? I like doing this for characters that are maybe only mentioned, or only exist in memories, or OCs that don't really "matter" for the story at all. This is how, for me, a character feels real. They're somebody one of the major characters knows well enough to associate them with certain little things, which I think is a very human trait for anyone to have. So while Riley is definitely a way for me to show Sam's mental and emotional state in many situations, he's also a person, and it was important to me to remind the audience of that with "trivial" stuff about him as just a guy. A big part of the series is all about people being people, not symbols or weapons or anything like that.

So, Riley - like most "side" characters that exist mostly in other people thinking about them (much like Bucky's family or the Howlies in the later parts of the series), I do have a list of things that I could drop while writing, if I needed to. Some of them made it into the fic, some didn't, and I'm not even sure which anymore (it's been a while 😅) But I still have it on my laptop, so here's what I've got:

My version of Riley is from Milton, Alabama, with a thick southern accent. He wears band tshirts, flannel shirts, cargo pants, and he comes off as a total redneck unless you know him. His mom's a democrat, elected to the city council; his dad runs a hardware store. He's got a little brother, who was an emo in ca 2010. He's quietly religious. He likes cooking, especially if it's without meat. His favourite band is Seether, and he had a skateboard phase when he was still in high school. He's got an inside joke with Sam about how they both have a crush on Dana Scully. His favourite Disney movie is Treasure Planet. He's a big Captain America fan and has a sticker of the shield on his pickup truck. He likes that burger place in DC that Sam later shows Steve when they meet at the beginning of Loosened Chains, and where in Bleed Into One Sam meets with Rhodey and Carol. Riley and Sam watch the footage of the Battle of Manhattan while they're in Afghanistan, somewhere near Kandahar, and they're really excited about it, especially because it turns out Steve's alive. A few weeks after that, Riley dies on a mission he and Sam run in the Hindu Kush.

I really hope you like it! And thanks again for the ask, it was fun to dig all of this out again 😄

[trishyeves]

i just got all caught up on The Art of Devotion and wow!! i love your writing so much. since you asked for asks about your writing then i'll just send in a bunch of random assorted questions and you can answer however many you like!!

where did you get the idea for/what were you inspired by for the characters of danahui and her sisters?

what inspired the epigraphs? just in general? do you have a favorite one?

do you have a favorite character from the story? (ps i like hesina alot :)

do you have any plans for chapters with the other various bridge four members? do any of them get up to anything interesting? or is that a RAFO 🤔

this question is 100% unrelated to the story and has no bearing on it whatsoever. how do you feel about transfem elhokar

i know you have songs at the end of some chapters that correspond to the chapter/to a sister, but what about the canon characters? kaladin, etc? do you have corresponding songs or playlists for them and if yes, why those songs?

thanks to you i will be incorporating nb adolin into some of my things going forward because i think it's really cool!! how did you come up with it, or where did you get inspired by it from?

not really a question but i am sooooo curious on how elhokar seeing cryptics will come into play

did kaladin ever have any certified egg moments before she left for kharbranth?

ummmmm i can't think of a 10th question umm. idk. i hope you're having a nice day :)

Ahhhhh 😭😭😭😭😭

Thank you!!! So much!!!

It means so much to hear that you've been enjoying Trish's little AU fics, and the questions literally fill Trish with more joy than she knows what to do with... except answer them!

The Sisters are based on a D&D character Trish played back in the day! Trish answered that question in more detail here

Oooh the epigraphs!! They're so fun to write, though sometimes it feels like most readers just skip over them >.< For Self-Soulcasting, Trish wanted to alternate between several in-universe texts that focused on different types of queerness, from trans folks to minority sexualities to nonbinary cuties. For Art of Devotion, the first Part epigraphs allowed some sneak peaks to the Sisters to come as well as hints to something with who exactly is collecting those letters, the second Part epigraphs allow some insight into the worldhopper OC's who'll be more important later on, and the third Part epigraphs are getting into in-universe plural lore in the same way the queer epigraphs in Self-Soulcasting did the same. As for Trish's favorite... gonna go with the one in Chapter 17: Fraying and Chafing and Rotting, because it just tickles Trish so much

Ooooh, favorite character... that's so tough! Gonna give two answers, one canon and one OC. For favorite canon character, gonna have to give it to Syl, because she's just a delight. For OC... gahhh this is so hard 😭 Maybe Naln? Like, the Sisters are too obvious, and of the other OC's, he's just a very fun examination of a certain kind of queerness in Roshar.

Heeeheehee! Yep~ Specifically, every set of Interludes in Art of Devotion is gonna have one viewpoint for someone from Bridge Four! As for who the next ones will be... RAFO~

Transfem Elhokar is literally Trish's favorite trans headcanon! Did a whole fic centering on that, have plans for another with an Elhokar Peggy Sue fic, and there's a chaaaance transfem Elhokar could happen in the Self-Soulcasting AU

Trish doesn't have playlists for any of the canon characters, no >.< Dunno why, but attaching songs to them always feels... harder?

Nonbinary Adolin means a lot to Trish. Like... it mostly just comes from the way she reads the character, the depths she sees as being possible with them? Also, like, being genderfluid and occasionally being in the more nonbinary side of things too, Nonbinary Adolin is such goals in that direction.

RAFO~

Oh, for sure. There's a mention in Self-Soulcasting about some curiosity on younger Kaladin's part around wearing feminine clothing, but like, also consider that aside from her brother, Kaladin's only friend growing up was another girl. Sorta egg behavior.

Today's been pretty good! Currently in a TTRPG session, getting a bit sleepy, made some delicious pork fried rice