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dailyexo · 2 years ago

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[INTERVIEW] Baekhyun - 230223 W Korea: “Days With Baekhyun”

Returning after two years, Baekhyun used the word “comfort” often.

Baekhyun’s only wish is to sing heart-felt, timeless songs for us. Baekhyun talked about the days spent with us and the days ahead of us.

How many days has it been since you were discharged from the military?

Today is precisely the third day since I’ve been out.

You have finally gifted flower shoes to the fans. (‘Giving flower shoes’ is a Korean phrase that means returning to the significant other who had been waiting for their partner to return from military service.)

I know. Before I left for the military, I told the fans that many things could change in a year and nine months. How could I make them wait? I told them to focus on their own lives but come back if they feel like it when I return. I said, if anything, I would try to win them back again.

So, you recently did a live show to celebrate discharge. Seeing you’re still as bright and youthful, fans recalled the time you promoted your second solo mini-album, “Delight,” released three years ago.

Honestly, I was super worried. But I was relieved to see their warm reactions. I’m grateful to my parents. Haha.

You talked about your time in the army during the live show.

Most of my training campmates were born after 1999, except for a few. I was the eldest there. Everyone followed me like their older brother. I still keep in touch with the friends I met then. Recently, I got a call from one of them. He said, “I am working out at the gym right now.” He was a skinny one, and every single day at the training camp, I told him to work out.

Baekhyun, as we know, was the life of the party among the EXO and SuperM members. Your bubbly personality would have shined in the army training camp.

There was no exception. I didn’t let anyone fall behind. Whenever I saw someone wanting to give up, I said, “You can’t lose to things like this,” “If you keep giving up, this becomes your habit,” and, “Real life outside is much harder than this.” I don’t let my friends give up or fall behind. I pull them together.

I presume the past two years have been a time to realize and reassess who Byun Baek Hyun really is as a person, not just Beakhyun from EXO.

Yeah. My MBTI changed during the break from ISFP to ESTJ. I’ve been known as a homebody for a long time among my friends. But I’m actually an extrovert and a very active person. But when I look back on my childhood, I barely had time to spend at home. To the point where my mother always said, “How come I see my son only for breakfast?” I felt like I went back to my real self during the break.

Was it also a time to realize again what your fans mean to you?

Of course. I still have a long way to go to learn about the fans thoroughly. There’s something I learned this time, though. The fact that our existence to each other is a lot bigger than what we think. During the first year of my alternative military service, I looked back a lot. I watched a lot of the past concert videos. At concerts, I had a lot of fun with them. There were times when I saw my facial expression on the stage and thought I really did bust my butt to pull everything. Also, sometimes I felt really empty and felt this unfillable void. At one point, I thought, “Will they still be there?” while listening to the cheers of fans in those videos. They are like a really good teacher who would grade me and encourage me. They inspire me to do my homework. They have had me run, take lessons and become a better person. I want to do well to hear their acknowledgment. If they didn’t exist, I probably would not have tried so hard to come this far.

Your Namu-wiki page has a “Fan Love” section. As we read through the things you’ve said to the fans, we thought even a real boyfriend couldn’t say such sweet things.

Haha. Definitely my mom’s influence there. She speaks so gently. She is the sweetest person, really. And I am the youngest in the family. My family poured sweet love on me. Sometimes, fans ask me how I can speak so nicely. To be honest, I don’t know. I feel it’s nothing special, to me, a very ordinary and everyday thing.

It seems like fans could rarely feel the army break. You filmed 20 pieces of YouTube content ahead of time and released them during the break.

I know how hard it is to wait. Even when we did the EXO concert tour, we couldn’t release an album during that time. So it had been a long-standing concern about how to fill the vacancy. In particular, no one was trying to do something special to fill the vacancy during the military break. At first, I thought about making a small game instead of a video. Like the Tamagotchi game, fans can foster ‘Baekhyun’ from level 1 for 641 days while I am away. Feed him, water him. Haha.

The background in planning the pre-created YouTube Content was to give fans something to calm their longings, but also in some parts, wishing your fans would not forget you by watching these videos, right?

Yeah, that is pretty much it. Actually, I was swamped when we were filming the YouTube videos. I had a hectic schedule. It was just around when my third solo mini album Bambi came out, and on top of that, SuperM’s promotion overlapped. But after filming them, I felt so indescribably proud.

The 2021 album Bambi leaves much to be desired in some ways because it had no official activities due to your military service. Nonetheless, it recorded high sales, enough to bring the double million-seller title. It was also the album released in the year of your 30th birthday, showcasing your finest skills as a vocalist.

Bambi was created strictly with my own needs and vision. I tried everything I wanted to do without looking at anyone, and I wanted to free my mind by doing so. You are right. I put in everything I could as a vocalist. I first rearranged my vocal tone around the time of my first solo mini-album City Lights in 2019, and I wanted to see how much I had grown since then. I became very dedicated because I thought I could make a better sound than two years ago. I tried the vocal ranges that I wouldn’t have chosen in the past because I was too nervous. I purposely chose difficult music because I wanted to experience both failures and trials.

In particular, the title song "Bambi" seems to have been a regular song for the music school entrance exam that year. It’s perfect for showing off your vocal skills going back and forth freely with your falsetto, modal, and head voice.

Well, I don’t really recommend it. It’s a high-risk song, the beat and rhythm are tough. It’s a pretty challenging song to sing well.

With the release of Bambi, Baekhyun’s genre and brand have become more apparent. "Baekhyun" reminds us of groovy R&B beats from "UN Village" in the album City Lights and "Candy" in Delight.

R&B is a genre that I’ve been attached to for a long time, so I’ll continue with it. However, I also want new challenges. I want to try this and that without being too picky. I want to be an all-rounder. I’m interested in singing-rap these days.

Which musician are you paying attention to as a reference these days?

I’ve gotten closer to Colde recently. I like his singing style, and it’s fabulous that he pulls off the melody rhythmically as if he’s rapping. I’ve requested songs from Colde. I don’t know what kind of work will come out yet, but we’ll work together soon.

As a musician, there’s no more valuable experience than getting a “response” to your song. All three solo albums released so far have recorded respectable sales. Did you expect such success?

Not at all. It exceeded my expectations. This record was possible thanks to the efforts of many K-pop singers ahead of me. In particular, the sales volume of the second album was the highest in 20 years of Korean pop music history.

Delight became the first solo album to achieve the million-seller title, and you became the second artist to hold such titles for both the group and solo albums, following after Seo Tai-ji.

Yes, but it’s all thanks to the dedication of so many Korean musicians. As K-pop became more known worldwide, more people started paying attention to K-culture. The Korean artists before me had already paved the roads and I just got to piggyback on them.

I don’t feel any guilt when I listen to your music. Maybe it’s a complete anachronism, but there’s still a certain prejudice regarding idol music. Similarly, some idol music is referred to as a ‘hidden masterpiece.’ But when I listen to Baekhyun’s solo music, I feel like I’m just listening to really good music.

Thanks. I indeed paid a lot of attention to that. I chose a lot of genres that wouldn’t come from SM. SM prefers strong and intense sounds, but I wanted to focus on easy-listening music. It was partly because of my preference and strategic choice to differentiate between EXO and solo activities. Seeing that many of the tracks from my solo albums are still receiving a ot of love, I think it was a good decision.

It is common to spot excessiveness in solo albums by Idol group members. It was rather unique that Baekhyun has an easy mood, as you’ve just said.

I pushed for that. I kept thinking, ‘I’ll make more easy-listening music,’ ‘The music should not change in the middle,’ and ‘The melody should flow as expected.’ I wanted to minimize statement sounds and focus on the lyrics. There was even some feedback from the company that it fell short. But I kept pushing. My motto was to do something that sounds easy to people’s ears, like passive music, even if it may not feel ‘sophisticated or innovative’ for some.

What you just said seems connected to the question of, ‘what is good music to me as a musician?’

Probably. In a way, I’m making music that’s pleasant to listen to. But I don’t usually listen to a lot of music. My ears are so tired. Since I’m a singer, I need to know a lot of songs, but when I find one I like, I listen to it over and over. There’s something in common when I look at the songs I’m hooked on. It’s not too much, and it just has one or two significant factors.

For example?

I especially like old-fashioned pop songs. Fibo Bryson’s "Why Goodbye" is also a song that I love, for example. If you listen to it, there’s a particular section once in the bridge, once in the chorus, and once in the verse. You can listen to it comfortably, and the sound is completely filled with only vocals.

What is the vocal tone you pursue?

If I could have a voice that doesn’t go out of date, I couldn’t ask for more.

It’s also the most challenging thing.

I know. I once imagined, “Will Baekhyun’s episode of ‘Hidden Singer’ come out?” I don’t think so. Because my voice doesn’t have a distinctive feature. But it’s definitely a voice that can give you some comfort. A good tone depends on the time and taste. It’s something that keeps moving without being fixed. So I just want my voice to be peaceful and stable. I hope I can make the sound warm enough to relax your body. That’s all I want.

It’s been 11 years since your debut, and you’re still taking vocal lessons every week, right?

Yes. I have a big desire to evolve. I thought about it when EXO received a lot of attention with Growl in 2013. ‘Why are so many people going crazy? Am I really that good? I don’t think so. If the heat goes away, they will see me.’ That’s why I kept trying. I always criticize myself more than others do. It’s not a matter of high self-esteem and low self-esteem. I’m just continuing to make up for my shortcomings because I know my weaknesses better than anyone else.

To me, Baekhyun is not a person with low self-esteem but one who constantly and carefully self-censors himself.

Yes, that’s right. Maybe I am a perfectionist, and I hate it when there’s no complete ending. If I don’t think I can finish something properly, I don’t even start. I tend to get extremely disappointed with myself if I don’t do something perfectly at work.

A perfectionist who pursues easiness… It sounds hard. Haha

Haha. As a musician, I want to be an easy person who can blend in with the public. I don’t want to be a musician who is so cool that people admire and want to follow. I want to be someone people can talk to easily when they meet me on the street while listening to my song.

The only regret for Baekhyun as a solo musician is that he had little opportunity to tell autobiographical stories in music. What kind of stories do you want to tell through your music as 32-year-old Baekhyun?

I want to deliver encouraging lyrics. And deliver the message that you shouldn’t give up easily and try to face more challenges. I think the disappearance of the “Jeong” culture played a role in making people get easily tired these days. In the past, when a neighbor moved in, we used to make steamed rice cakes. If the next door neighbor cooks a lot of food, they would share it with others. But living in a disconnected world without affection, people seem to think only of themselves. I want to put a hopeful message in my song that we can all unite in harmony again.

It’s been two years since W Magazine and Baekhyun met—, since the cover of the March 2021 issue, right? Throughout today’s shoot, the staff said you were sexy. Baekhyun’s “soft sexiness” that you’ve shown in your solo career seems to be reflected in today’s shoot.

Sexy… Haha. I don’t think the sexiness that I have is the sexiness that’s full of intense emotions. It’s more like this. Sometimes you play with your friends, and you feel unexpectedly sexy. I think I have the sexiness to make people a little curious about me. Haha

Today’s shoot was with Cartier’s Tank Frances Watch and Icon Collection. These are pieces that have been called Wannabe by many artists for their timeless classic aesthetic. Regardless of timea and nationality, who is the greatest artist for Baekhyun?

Michael Jackson! Michael Jackson was the only artist who stood still on stage for a few seconds or minutes and people couldn’t stop cheering. His songs have made many people cry for a long time, giving them joy and happiness. So just seeing him standing still on the stage makes them tear up. There isn’t an artist who can beat Michael Jackson.

Still, what would be your secret weapon that you could win over Michael Jackson?

Hmm… My gentle way of talking? Haha.

EXO recently announced the news of EXO’s 11th-anniversary fan meeting. What would it look like if you were to compare EXO to family?

Children who were raised by a strict father but had an infinitely sweet mother? Maybe the stage is our dad. We work hard on stage until it feels like our bodies would break literally. But when we get off stage, we act like kids. Not one friend is rude, and everyone is so kind. When we talk to each other, there’s no difference from when we debuted 11 years ago or when we were trainees.

What are the three things Baekhyun is focusing on these days?

I’m into golf. Out on the golf field, my arms got so tanned, dark enough to leave a watch mark on my wrist. I feel very relieved when I go rounding and see the open space. The second one is the direction of the vocals. And for the third, I was going to say exercise but I’m going to change that. (Kim) Jong-kook, whom I became close with through workouts, said, “It’s time for you to focus on your back.” But hip workouts are too hard. Haha. The last one is EXO’s comeback. We will return as soon as possible with a high-quality album this year.

Photo links: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23

Credit: W Korea.

#EXO #EXO K #Baekhyun #230223 #exo im #exo k im #baekhyun im #magazine #magazine:w korea #p:news #t:news #fs:w korea #comeback:Fight

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asterinthewritten · 3 days ago

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also, for my a dragon's name readers, i SWEAR i haven't forgotten about you!!!! i just don't want to rush writing the literal climax (wink wink) of this story, i want it to be perfect since it's technically the end of their two-person pov story. so since i'm not making my update-once-a-month deadline, have a little preview of what you're in for ;)

A Dragon's Name, Chapter 15

This wasn’t Furina’s first kiss, but it sure felt like it.

Her mouth dances in a languid waltz with Neuvillette’s soft lips, and the hand resting on his chest scrunches as the kiss deepens. The fireplace is meters away, but she could feel heat crackle and spark where her chest pressed up against his, her heart beginning to quicken as Neuvillette grips her waist a little tighter.

She follows her instinct, caressing Neuvillette’s cheek and pulling him closer as an indiscernible need to close any distance between them takes over her body. He smells exquisite—sweet and warm, like caramel coffee at the seaside, watching the sun rise. She drinks him up greedily, and she is dizzy from the headiness of his kiss. She can taste the cherry wine in his lips, only making her desperate for more. Neuvillette’s hand snakes up her spine, and she is entirely unable to stop her mewls—she surprises herself at how desperate she sounds when his fingers rake through her hair, but she doesn’t care anymore. She has never known want like this.

Neuvillette leads her through it, setting a slow pace even though every sound she makes sends blood rushing to his core. The dragon in him wants to take, and never before has his restraint been tested like this. He is surrounded by her intoxicating scent, that unforgettable vanilla and cream, and the sensations assault him from all sides—when Furina tests the waters and gently sucks on his upper lip, his desperate groan is muffled by her mouth. He tugs at her hair, sucking on her bottom lip, the kiss becoming feverish as his efforts are rewarded with more and more of her delicious moans.

But their cursed need for air has them breaking away, panting, their foreheads pressing together as they share a breath. A laugh bubbles from Furina’s mouth as she recovers, her hands knitting together at the nape of his neck. He laughs too, giddy and reeling from their actual, proper first kiss.

“I’ve—never done this before,” Furina says in between pants, octaves higher than she intends. She giggles a bit sheepishly. “I don’t know what I’m doing, I’m just—following what feels good.”

“You forget then,” Neuvillette says, just as breathless. “You were the one who kissed me first that night.”

Furina laughs, a blush warming her cheeks. She doesn’t try to fight it this time. “It felt right,” she smiles.

“I hope this feels right to you, too,” Neuvillette murmurs, tucking her hair behind her ear.

Furina sighs, light headed, and slumps against Neuvillette’s chest, still breathing heavily. She feels a kiss on her forehead, and she hums as Neuvillette starts to draw circles on her back.

Neuvillette smiles at the very cuddly and affectionate Furina at his side. If this was all he’s going to get tonight, then it’s already more than what he’s asked for. Seeing her like this, happy in his arms… It is satisfaction enough.

But Furina has other plans. Her leg has already been draped across his torso, and she’s halfway from truly lying on top of him. She feels a curious pressure on her thigh, and when she looks, she sees evidence of how far Neuvillette is willing to go, and realizes that he was restraining himself for her. She chuckles to herself, heart melting.

She didn’t go through all that trouble dressing herself for the night to end this way, did she?

No, she thinks, definitely not.

Read Chapter 1 here

#my writing #a dragon's name #genshin impact #neuvifuri #neuvillette #furina #furina de fontaine #furillette #neuvirina #furina x neuvillette #neuvillette x furina

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afroafrofuturistfuture · 11 months ago

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Switch Pt 10

An: I wish y'all knew what I was going through for this 😭 but it's finally here before the end of the year. The end of my very first fanfic. Whew! It was an undertaking for sure. Crazy that it's actually finished. I'm grateful for anyone who found it, reblogged it and read it all. Much much love and a happy new year to you all!

Genre: Romance, fluff, smut, angst

Cw: 18+ only (mdni), sexual activity, cuss words, talks of cheating, p in v, hospital imagery, lil bit of sadness, barely proofread

Synopsis: Aged up Married Pro hero!Deku, Bakugo and Uraraka.

The truth comes out

Masterlist is here!

“Do you know why he seems so weird?” Ochacho asked Deku once Katsuki disappeared into Kami’s hospital room.

“Yes,” Deku said carefully. He took her hands in his and pulled her to sit in the same chair Katsuki was sitting in not too long ago. He looked at her for a long moment trying to decide what he should say and he realized how long it had been since he just looked at her like this. Really looked at her. She looked sweet, she was sweet. But she was so full of life, full of fire. There was always something brimming beneath her kind demeanor. A fierceness he couldn’t quite match or tame. He chuckled realizing how obvious this all should have been.

“Deku?”

“I had an affair with Kami.” He blurted, his voice as hushed as it could be in the busy hospital corridor. He could feel the tension in her hands. “And I know you had one with Kacchan.” Her face fell and he could just hear all the apologies that were about to come his way. “I’m not angry,” and of course that was the truth. He was never angry, could never be angry with her. “A bit hurt but I know why you did it. I can’t say it’s right but neither of us made the right decision. Katsuki didn’t give me details but I know you had an opportunity for something more than I could give you and you took it. I get it. Sometimes I’m more hero than man and I wish I could’ve been what you needed but I know it’s okay that I’m not.”

Ochaco looked stunned and sad. She looked away, bit her lip. The guilt was obvious. After a few moments, she finally spoke. “I have no excuse for what I did. I love you, of course, I do. But being with him is so different. He got me to think about what I wanted and that was so satisfying. And then at times he was so sweet with me…” She buried her face in her hands. “Shit.”

He let out a chuckle. “He really did a number on you, huh?” When she didn’t answer he went on. “I felt the same way. I was actually so selfish. I really only thought about what I wanted when I took the chance to have it. In fact, Kami had to stop me from taking it way too far! But that didn’t really matter in the end.” He sighed, considering how honest to be. But he wanted no more secrets. “I’m in love with her.”

Ochaco immediately raised her head. “In love with Kami?” He couldn’t tell what she could be thinking as her teeth worried over her lip. “Does she…feel the same?” She finally asked.

He slumped down further into his chair thinking about it. At one point, he thought she did. But she never said it. And he started to think maybe it was all in his head. “I don’t know. We’ve never talked about it. It wasn’t really possible to pursue, you know?” He realized he was being so cavalier about all of this and felt the need to clarify. “Bubble, I hope you don’t think I ever lied to you about us.”

She met his eyes, hers full of surprise and sadness. “No, Deku. I know.” He watched her eyes well up. “I’m sorry, I didn’t handle this well. We were working on things and I really fucked it up anyway. I went behind your back and that wasn’t fair. I’ve been hating myself this whole time because I didn’t want you to hate me. I didn’t want to think about the impact of it all and, seriously, you falling in love is nothing I ever expected but I can’t say I’m not glad for it. For you. I always wanted you to be happy even when I was fucking up, even if it wasn’t with me. I sound like a terrible person.”

His smile was sardonic. “I won’t say you cheating on me didn’t hurt. But I think you were so distant and I was so caught up with myself that it was easy to give myself to someone else. That part I don’t regret. Even if she may not feel the same, I can see what I need too.” He ran his hands over his face. His fatigue was catching up to him.

“I think I know what you mean.” He shifted to watch her speak. “Katsuki is…abrasive like always but he’s a lot more than I thought. He challenges me and makes me feel…free somehow. And he does care but he’s not overbearing about it. You and I make sense as a couple because we’re so alike but with him he’s so different that it’s exciting.” She looked dreamy as she spoke but quickly flinched realizing what she was saying. “Sorry. I don’t know how much of this you wanted to hear.”

“No, it’s good. I’ve only ever wanted you happy and a lot of the time I doubted that I could be the one to do that for you. I suppose I was right." A sad smile settled over his lips. "But to know someone can do it gives me a sense of relief."

"I feel the same way, Izuku. If Kami loves you, which there's no way she doesn't, then…that's amazing.”

She gave him a sad smile and he started to chuckle in disbelief at their situation. Both of them cheated on each other and fell for the other person. Or at least he thought so, but to be sure... “Are you in love with him?”

She blinked and sniffled as her cheeks darkened. “Um…I don’t know. I mean our last time seeing each other was so confusing. He made me feel so amazing and so low at the same time. I think I do have feelings for him though.” She wouldn’t meet Deku’s eyes.

He chuckled. “I think he has feelings for you too. It might take time for him to admit it but he’ll get there.”

She sat there in silence for a bit, color covering her face, before she asked, “Do you think we’ll all be okay?”

He thought about it. “Yeah. Yeah, I do. If nothing else, we have each other. Always.”

That was incredibly optimistic, something she didn’t know she could share but she expected nothing less from him. And in a way it was comforting. But now that her body was beginning to relax, she could feel her exhaustion. She found herself craving her bed, although for how long it would remain her bed she had no idea. “I think I’m going to go home.” She mumbled.

Deku nodded. “I think I’ll stay.”

They gave each other tired smiles. She stood and he stood with her. They hugged because it felt right.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

“Deku,” Kami tried to coax him awake. His head had been resting on the rail on her bed and she knew he’d get a crick in his neck. “Deku, wake up.” She nudged him gently. He groaned in response and she laughed. “I know you’re not comfortable. Come on, wake up.” She nudged more forcefully this time.

He pulled himself up, finally rubbing his eyes before he opened them. “Okay, I’m up.” The hospital room was darker now with moonlight and the displays from various machines providing the only light. She smiled sleepily at him as his eyes settled on her. “Hi, baby,” he smiled back.

Her heart thrilled hearing him call her that. It meant he still thought of her the way he used to.

“I can’t believe you stayed. I can’t believe they let you.” She spoke almost in a whisper as if speaking any louder would disturb the lovely dream they were in.

“Of course I did. I think they know who I am. Did you not want me to?”

She hated that he asked. “No, I’m happy you stayed.”

“Then I’m happy you’re happy.” He rested his head back on the railing except now he was fully awake giving her his full attention.

“How are you feeling?”

He chuckled. “I think I’m supposed to be asking you that. But I’m okay for now. How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay, too. Sad though.”

“Why are you sad?”

“You’re leaving,” She muttered. She ran a finger over his arm lightly.

He sat up a little straighter as he sighed. He caught her hand in his and stroked the back of her hand with this thumb. “I keep telling myself it’s for the best.”

“Is it really though? I mean my husband is in love with your wife and I-” She stopped short and his eyes shot to hers, wide and piercing even in the dark. She realized she hadn’t had a chance to tell him how she felt about him but he had to know. She sat up a bit more herself and Deku watched her adjust, just waiting. “‘Zuku,” She kissed the back of his hand. “I-I’m so in love with you. It scares me but it’s true. I don’t want to be afraid of it because you don’t seem like you are but you’re also leaving and-”

He pulled her into a searing kiss that wiped her mind clean. It felt like it had been years since they last kissed and her emotions came bubbling to the surface. Tears ran down between their faces and he only held her closer. When he finally pulled back enough to look into her eyes, she could see that he was steady and certain. “Baby, of course I’m afraid,” he chuckled and it was light with relief. “I’m fucking terrified. Especially because I thought I was ruining everyone’s lives.”

“Well now you’re just ruining mine,” She pouted and sniffled. She meant it jokingly but she also meant it to a degree.

He gave her a sad smile as the thumb from the hand still resting on her cheek stroked over her skin.”I’m ruining mine too. Unless you want to come with me.” He said it lightly, like a joke, like it was wishful thinking.

“Take me.” She said, with no hesitation.

His brows pushed together and his mouth twisted as if to say be serious. “Don’t be silly.”

“I’m not. Okay maybe I am but I mean it. Take me with you.”

“Kami,” he sat back away from her and that left her feeling chilly. “You can’t leave everything for me.”

Her face crumpled but she laughed as she spoke around more tears. “You pretty much are everything to me.” He shook his head slowly in disbelief but she could see the hope he tried to hold back. Understanding that completely, she pushed on. “What’s here for me? Watching Katsuki and Ochaco get some kind of happily ever after while I pine away for you? My job isn’t even all that important. Not like you big heroes. I love my friends but I know I’d miss you more than anything.” As she said it, she realized how true it was. Her life wasn’t bad. It was stable and easy. But what would it be without him?

He reached for her again, his hands sliding over her cheeks as he rested his forehead against hers. He shook his head again slowly. “How do you know I’m worth all of that? I can’t be,” he lamented.

She laughed. “Deku, I know I was scared of the risk. I was scared of getting found out and losing everything so I left you instead.” She reached up to touch his face too. “And I’ve regretted it every day since. I don’t think I care anymore, especially after this, after waking up here and having you be the first thing on my mind even before I opened my eyes. It was stupid not to just be honest with you.”

“No, no. I know why you weren’t. To be honest, I thought it was stupid for me to nearly slip up and tell you. It was all too impulsive. No plan for anything after that. I just knew I loved you and I wanted you.”

“I wish I had let you tell me.” Kami whispered. “I wish I could have heard it back then.”

“You looked okay without me before,” he whispered back. “I thought…I thought we were really done.”

She chuckled. “I couldn’t just walk around looking miserable. That would’ve caused more questions.”

He stared at her for a moment. “You’d really come with me?” His voice was still hushed and tense.

“If you let me. Would you?”

His eyes welled as he started to sob softly. “Of course I would. I’d love to take you anywhere with me.” He hugged her as tight as he could to him while she was still hooked up in her hospital bed and she held on tightly to him. Relief flooded into her at his words. And when he clutched her in a hard kiss, she knew no matter what, she would follow him anywhere.

“Surprise!” Deku uncovered her eyes after they stepped into the living room of Kami’s house.

“Deku,” she laughed. “What is this?”

There was a banner hanging up over the kitchen entrance, welcoming her home. On the floor, Deku piled thick blankets in front of the coffee table that was covered with different snacks. On the couch, he laid out pajamas for them both. He shrugged. “You’re ‘welcome home’ picnic. I know the doctor said to take it easy. Do you like it or is it dumb?”

“Deku,” She planted her hands on his chest as she lifted up on her toes to kiss him. “I love it. Really. I can’t wait to relax and watch movies with you.”

His hands came up to her waist as he relaxed and kissed her back. “Okay, baby. Let’s get changed and we can get right to it.” He guided her to the couch and she smiled to herself at the matching green pajamas he picked out for them.

“I’m realizing how corny I am now that you’re here,” he laughed nervously and blushed a bit.

“I wouldn’t have you any other way. I love them. But I may need your help.” Kami’s head and body were still a bit tender after the accident and from lying in a bed for days.

“Sure, of course.” He gingerly tugged her shirt over her head and it made her heart swell in appreciation for his sweetness. After he pulled her shirt away, she couldn’t help but kiss him before he reached for her pants. He smiled at her and she kissed him again, soaking in the warmth from his body and personality. There was nothing but love for her from him and now that she had it again, she refused to let it go. She meant it to be a cute kiss, sweet but her breathing quickened as her body reacted to him pulling her close. Their kisses were languid and naturally, her mouth opened to him. Like muscle memory their tongues met and she could hear his low moan.

“God, I missed you,” he muttered, his voice tight. “But I know we can’t…do anything. I gotta calm down,” he chuckled.

He tried to put distance between them but she held tight to his arms. “I think if we just…take it easy…” Kami tried to reason through her now hazy mind.

He laughed. “Such a bad influence. But I can’t say I don’t want it like you do.” His hand slid slowly down her body and dipped beneath the waistband of her pants. He found his way into her underwear and gently brushed over the top of her clit. Her body tensed. She was more sensitive than she thought she’d be, which seemed perfect for taking it easy. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” She nodded and bit her lip. “I don’t know about you but I haven’t had sex since the last time we did,” he mumbled.

“Really?” She was gasping at the light strokes.

“Really, so this should be interesting.” He chuckled. “Would you be okay with being on top? You could be in control and just move your hips back and forth.”

“Sounds…perfect.”

He removed his pants and hers before sitting on the floor in front of the couch and leaning back against it. He pulled her into his lap and she slid her covered slit over his already hard cock. They both moaned. He rested his hands on her hips and gently guided her over him. She laced her fingers behind his neck and kissed him, meeting his tongue with hers.

He sucked in a sharp breath. “You know I’m not usually rough with you unless you want it but I’m just so happy to have you back in my arms, it’s not hard not to think of going crazy with you.”

She laughed. “I know what you mean. If I wasn’t so achy, I would be bouncing on you as hard as I can.”

His eyes darkened hearing that. “This is okay though? You’re okay?”

“Yes, I want more,” she muttered, moving to kiss and nip at his neck.

He groaned and his head fell back as he pulled himself free of his boxers. “Take it, then. Please.”

His words pierced her core, spreading heat all over as she pulled her panties to the side. She rubbed her bare skin against him a couple more times, driving them both a little crazy before she slowly started to take him in. She was already incredibly wet which wasn’t hard to believe.

He chuckled breathlessly. “As it is, you’ll be going slow for me. Oh my God. Was it always like this?”

“Yes, it was. Every fucking time.” She took him in a little deeper and she felt his thighs bunch beneath her. He hissed and she could see him trying to hold himself together. It made her take him in even farther. The stretch was intense but fulfilling. Her spine was tingling just from feeling him inside of her.

“Baby,” his breathing was labored as he reached forward and put a thumb to her clit. “Are you okay?”

She choked out a laugh. “Are you okay?”

He smiled up at her. “I’ve withstood far worse.”

“What about far better though?” She sank all the way down, their thighs meeting.

His mouth fell open and he pinched his eyes shut.

“Deku,” she panted. “Look at me, I missed you.”

He opened his eyes to slits. “Fuck, I missed you, too. So much.”

She shifted her hips forward and he groaned. She kissed him as she slowly moved her hips. She felt so full, so warm as they moved together. He was reaching places inside of her that were reaching far beyond just between her legs. But it still wasn’t enough. “This is killing me already.”

“I know what you mean. I could move if you want me to. Thrust up while you stay still. I won’t do anything crazy.”

She could see the effort it was taking him not to do it already. She nodded. “Do it, please.”

“Let me know if I’m holding you too hard,” he said just as he took her hips in a vice grip, supporting the full weight of her upper body. She couldn’t really move if she wanted to. They readjusted and he tested a full slide up into her reaching all the way in, causing them both to gasp. “Yes,” he hissed as he slid nearly all the way out and back in. He picked up speed, finding a steady pulse. “Does it feel good?” She nodded, at a loss for words. “Good, because you feel perfect. So perfect. You are perfect.” He started rambling. “I love you. I love your body. I love being inside of you. I just love everything about you.”

She snaked a hand down to rub her fingers over her clit and Deku reacted in excitement, pulsing faster. She knew her legs were already begging to give out but the pain was an afterthought compared to the pleasure swimming through her veins.

“Baby, please tell me you’re close.”

Kami’s eyes had fallen closed and her body started to tense. “Deku, fuck, I love it. Love the way you make me feel. Love you.” She panted as she chased the high that was within reach.

His mouth was closed but he moaned loud anyway. He was coming then, hips thrusting fast, and she followed right behind him, stars behind her lids, heat and pleasure enveloping her as she was flooded with sensations. He let his body sag against the floor and he pulled her down on top of him, resting her head on his shoulder. He stroked a hand over her hair. “Was that okay?”

“It was great.” She folded her hands over one another on his chest and rested her chin on them as she smiled lazily up at him.

“I think you telling me you loved me sent me over the edge.” He laughed and she joined him.

“Good, then I’ll just have to keep saying it.” She leaned up to kiss him. “I love you, Deku.”

“I love you, Kami.” He wrapped her up in his arms and she knew this is what she wanted forever to look like, being in his arms, soaking in his warmth and listening to his heart beat for her.

12 notes · View notes

neowinestainedress · 3 months ago

Note

helloooo rebs i am once again with a review and this time is about hits different so let’s fucking goooo!!!!

But when you finally are done, he doesn’t shut up, he’s not half asleep like he usually is when you sneak out of his place on your tiptoes like a thief.

OKAYYY SO THIS ISNT A ONE TIME THING

Yeah, that’s why. It’s got nothing to do with the fact you created a list of rules to follow when you two started this and you would’ve rather got hit by lighting than broken one of those. He doesn’t know it, though. So, your different personalities and lifestyles make up a good excuse.

well i cant blame her shes smart for putting rules even if they are only for herself

i actually love when the characters unconsciously pick up habits and even more when the other person starts to realize about them something so sweet and domestic of knowing the little things about each other….

But you didn’t want to start a new thing, your ex was traumatic, no matter how good the sex was (it wasn’t even that good, currently he’s the only one you can get sex from without having to hold boring conversations with a drink in hand and spend the ride back to their place hoping you didn’t end up in the arms of a killer) he was an asshole.

SOOOOO REAL i totally get her

omg that’s the worst fear of being a girl and having a male friend cause why would they always wannt to ruin EVERYTHING

Haechan smiles, or smirks, it’s almost a chuckle, you can’t quite describe it. “At the gym.”

that smirk he always make is SO HOT im on my knees for him

You shake your head, sipping on the glass of alcohol and emptying it. “No, I’ve always been like this. I think nobody made a mess of me to leave me hooked on them.”

kinda wish i was her…

GRABBING MY HAIR RN IM SO EXCITED ALREADY (future me editing this: oh poor me… you didn’t know what was coming 😭)

girl wdym u didn’t ask for his number and nothing happened if i was her they would’ve had to take me away from him with security

But with him, that didn’t happen. When your eyes met again you felt something. He looked different, probably it was the black hair framing his face perfectly, some make-up on his face too, or the leather jacket he was wearing and the chains around his neck. You remembered him, clear as the sky. But he was even hotter, attracting you without saying a word, not that you would’ve heard. You were at a club, and he was leaning against the bar on the other side of you. But his eyes were speaking louder than words, and your feet followed an invisible path that got you right there, on the stool next to him.

GOD HES SO HOT I WANT HIM SO BAD

STANDING AT THE BAR LIKE SOMETHING’S FUNNY BUBBLE ONCE YOU FIX YOUR FACE I’M GOING IN

You’re stunned and a bit taken aback because you weren’t expecting that answer, and you don’t even expect your body to light on fire. It’s not really about the words, it’s the way he gets you, like nobody ever did before, like you want him to get you, to keep up with you. And it’s also in the way his body talks, it’s addictive, it is charming, the small fidgeting of the fingers, the bounce of his legs while his legs are a bit spread open and his thighs are perfectly wrapped by those jeans that make you want to do unholy things, and his eyes, that taunting, witty light and the grin on his face.

if i say what i’m thinking i’m going to jail……

No, you haven’t, and soon you also find out why you’ve never done it.

so true do NOT recommend

doggy, missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, upside down, inside out, one leg up, two legs up, in public, on a spaceship, in the garden, on the grass, in a car, in a box, on a table, against a wall

but you want him too badly and you can’t wait any longer, so you propose a thing, “Sit here, I’ll ride.”

she’s so me

he’s too hot and uses it to his advantage a bit too often, he can’t keep getting away with it.

i’ve been saying….

“Wanted to fuck you since I saw you standing at the bar,” you confess nonchalantly, and he thinks you can’t be real, but he has no time to dwell on you and the way you are because you’re taking his breath away. He can’t even lie, he wanted you too since the same moment, if not since the very first night, so having you here feels a bit unreal.

me too girl, me too.

It might seem strange that there’s no rule implying not falling in love, right? Well, it’s not in your brain because you never even thought that could happen. You’re not even sure you ever loved the people you dated, how could you fall for your friend with benefits?

well unfortunately i have some news for her…

You hate to admit it, but you stare at the phone a little too long, why is he so polite about it? Damn, is your bar set so low? Is it really that bad that 90% of the men you met would’ve sent you a dick pic as the first message or a ‘what would you if I was in the shower with you’ text? Probably it is.

lmaooo so true

you really couldn’t get those tricks, truly sure that if somebody is interested in you they won’t disappear or appear based on how fast or slow you reply

not related to the story but this made me sad cause this reminded me of my “best friend” and i think the same

do you know whom you’re talking to? A loser.

PLEASKEDJSKX 😭😭😭

The biggest surprise Haechan gifts you is that… he is not an asshole.

WE CHEERED (the bar is in hell)

“Keep your eyes on me,” he orders and you unwillingly open them again, locking them in his. “That’s it, pretty girl.”

god im not your strongest soldier

You weren’t in the mood, too busy letting your thoughts get the best of you, a mix of lewd images of what you would’ve done to the man you couldn’t drift your eyes from and sadness looming over your head like a cartoon cloud.

literally me

“We do,” he replies but it’s like he’s not done, as if there’s something more he wants to tell or confess. He stops for a second, sipping on his bottle while staring at the sea at the horizon before resting his forearm on his knees and sighing, “but you never say anything about yourself.”

i want to be mysterious like her so bad but i don’t know how to shut up

He laughs, shaking his head. This time he’s the one diverting his gaze, the next words that are about to come out sound too vulnerable in his head and he doesn’t want to imagine how heavy they will sound out loud. “I’m just saying, I would keep some things of you only for me to know

he’s so cute

this made me sad :( like i get her but i also get him so i feel this whole situation is kinda unfair for him but at the same time they both know this is clearly only sex

“and don’t mark me, you don’t want the others to find out, right?” No, you don’t. Or maybe you do, maybe it’s time for something to happen and break you and him apart. Cause you feel you’re going down a slippery slope and you don’t like this. Maybe you should fuck this whole thing up like you always do. But you can’t, deep down, you don’t want to.

god no please nooo she needs therapy

SHES THE ALBATROSS SHE IS HERE TO DESTROY YOU

“Look at you,” he whispers, biting your earlobe, “is it so terrible to not have everything under control?” You feel a hint of bitterness in his voice, almost as if he’s mad at you for not letting go like this under other circumstances. “You don’t have to worry about anything.” (…) Yes, with me,” he says. “You don’t have to think about anything when you’re with me. I’ve got you.”

my cutie ☹️☹️

NO I KNOW IM A WALKING CONTRADICTION AND IT SHOWS GOT A HISTORY OF BEING IN CONTROL IM AWARE THAT I COULD END UP HERE ALONE

That made perfect sense, but it doesn’t make sense that you panicked at the idea of him with another girl, almost feeling sick to your stomach and about to throw up.

I PICTURED YOU WITH OTHER GIRLS IN LOVEEEEE THEN THREW UP ON THE STREET

“I have a spare one,” he says before you can go back to your true self, “it can be yours.”

crying, he’s soo sweet

That toothbrush eventually becomes yours. It sits there, right next to his, and every time you get up in the morning to escape from his bed, you’re reminded of all the lines you’ve crossed. You didn’t bring it from home, he fucking gave a toothbrush to you, and he doesn’t keep it scored somewhere in case you need it, no, it stays right there, always, next to his, as if it belongs there.

WAIT THIS IS SO SWEET SJDJSKDJSK ITS JUST A TOOTHBRUSH BUT IT HOLDS SO MUCH MEANING

If you were your usual you, you would’ve been able to see the glint that crossed Haechan’s eyes at your words, probably even to hear his heart skip a beat and his hands shake for a brief moment, but again, you are not there tonight

im crying he likes her so much i need them to get together asap or ill die

Not everyone can carry the baggage that we bring with us, and that’s fine.”

he feels like a warm hug ❤️‍🩹

“It’s fine, I’m used to an empty bed anyway, so it’s not much of a difference when I wake up and don’t find you there.”

oh ☹️

“Also doing Channie a favour, you know,” he winks and then chuckles, but you don’t find the implications funny, and your stomach twitches in discomfort.

GIRL i have something to tell you….

“Think they’ll end up doing it in the bathroom or the car?”

mark just shut up 😭😭😭😭😭

“Yes,” he replies as if he’s shocked by your underestimation. “People know what goes on even if they can’t see, and then it moves and fogs and it’s… embarrassing. Haechan has never been that attracted to somebody to the point of fucking in a car, he’d rather go home with his balls blue.”

WE’RE SO BACK (kinda)

“Hey, pretty,” a man’s voice speaks from the side; barely five minutes of peace and you are already crowded with unwanted attention

i HATE when im not in the mood and this happens

“Her boyfriend,” Haechan talks before you can even think of an answer, too dumb you were already thinking of a short way to explain what was going on between you. “Needed something, sir?”

SHDHAKDBSKDNSK STOP YES YES YES I WAS PRAYING FOR THIS TO HAPPEN

Your head is not facing the ground anymore, with a snap so fast you know it’s a miracle you didn’t break your neck, your eyes lock with Haechan’s. And then you laugh, hysterically. It’s a fake laugh and he gets it, he can see you panic, he saw it in your eyes that brief moment they intertwined, and he knows. You are jealous.

im grinning so hard rn

she’s so funny cause she refuses to be vulnerable in front of him and let him know her more but then she gets jealous and end up behaving like this shdjsj but i get her if i see haechan flirting with someone else i would also make a scene just to not lose him

You have everything there anyway. His toothbrush that became yours. His white t-shirt that became yours. A new set of towels he had bought just for you. His favourite mug that became yours. A warm bed. A pillow with a beating heart. And probably something else you’re not ready to face yet.

“Yeah, let’s go home.”

STOP IM ABOUT TO CRY AND MY CHEEKS HURT FROM GRINNING SO MUCH I LOVE THEM 😭

nooo stop im getting kinda mad cause she’s making him suffer just to “protect” herself when in reality she’s just hurting them both

This doesn’t feel like fun like your usual hard fucks, it’s like a sense of sadness and bitterness is running between you and it makes your heart sting.

THIS IS HER FAULT

“What?” He growls in response, hips slamming harshly against your ass. “Is this still not enough? Am I still not enough? Will I ever be enough for you?”

nooooo my baby she fucked up so bad and i feel really bad for him :(

CAUSE ALL I EVER WANTED WAS TO BE ENOUGH FOR YOU DONT YOU THINK I LOVED YOU TOO MUCH TO BE USED AND DISCARDED DONT YOU THINK I LOVED YOU TOO MUCH TO THINK I DESERVE NOTHING?? (everything goes back to the traitor series…)

He nods quickly and then starts thrusting into you, this time he won’t stop until you come, but he pushes your body up against his because he needs you. He needs your scent to be all over his skin, he needs to remind himself you’re not a dream even if you continuously slip from his fingers, he needs to remind you and himself that he’s the only one that has you like this. He is the best you ever had and that’s a little consolation

this is so sad im so sad he truly is a cutie

girl be serious she’s making me mad now 😑 (me from the future: i was genuinely starting to get so mad here sidjsjdj)

And the best solution would be to talk about it, set some boundaries again, or put an end to things like adults, but, even if the years pass by, you feel like you only keep getting older but not wiser.

I HAVE THIS THING WHERE I GET OLDER BUT JUST NEVER WISER (same)

i want to slap her CAN I SLAP HER???

SPLENDIDLY SELFISH CHARMINGLY HELPLESS EXCELLENT FUN TIL YOU GET TO KNOW HER THEN SHE RUNS LIKE ITS A RACE BEHIND HER BACK HER BEST MATES LAUGHED AND THEY NICKNAMED HER THE BOLTER

WTFF?????? im so mad right now like she’s seriously so dumb i understand (maybe)l, not really) trying to get away because she was scared and hooking up with other men but go back to fuck her ex??? that’s so low

But you still don’t pick up that damn phone, not even when a month passes by and Haechan reaches for you, apologizing.

OH NO SHES FUCKING SICK.

i won’t bother you again i promise

I GAVE YOU ALL MY BEST MES MY ENDLESS EMPATHY AND ALL I DID WAS BLEED AS I TRIED TO BE THE BRAVEST SOLDIER FIGHTING IN ONLY YOUR ARMY FRONTLINES DONT YOU IGNORE ME

DO SOMETHING BABE SAY SOMETHING!!!! LOSE SOMETHING BABE RISK SOMETHING!! CHOOSE SOMETHING BABE I GOT NOTHING TO BELIVE. UNLESS. YOURE CHOOSING ME.

oh SHUT UP im so mad at her right now that i cant even sympathize with her. haechan was nothing but understanding and caring and loving with her and she was just an asshole she even had the opportunity to change but she chose not to and hurt him so much

It takes you a while, but you get over him and get back to your daily life, the real one. No more depressing couch-sitting-eating sessions or extremely exhausting workouts to burn your brain down, no more avoiding social life and crying yourself to sleep.

i hate her so much right now…

“You first say I need some fun and then the fun breaks my heart and now the fun at the bar is not okay because I’m not sober to you and him and why I can’t have nice things?”

“the fun breaks my heart”

SHUT THE FUCK UPPPP THIS IS LITERALLY YOUR FAULT

“He seems rather heartbroken, and he asked a weird question about you.”

and when i punch her then what

Your eyes lock with Johnny’s and your brain would like to lie and mumble some nonsense but your heart can’t keep bleeding without being taken care of anymore. So, hot salt starts streaming down your face silently and your head faces the ground while two strong arms wrap around you

i’m still too mad at her so i cant sympathize sorry (not really)

“But I’m scared. I hated seeing him with someone that wasn’t me. The mere idea of him being with somebody else now makes me sick. This is scary.”

l PICTURED YOU WITH OTHER GIRLS IN LOOOOVEEE THEN THREW UP ON THE STREETS

You breathe in deeply and rub your temples. “But what if it’s wrong? What if… God, I’m doing all this and I’m not even sure he likes me back.”

SHES SO DUMB ILL PUNCH HER

It will tear you into pieces if you keep putting rules to things that are destined to flow freely.”

EXACTLY like you can put rules to something you can’t control she’s not talking about school or a job she’s talking about feelings !!!!

No, you didn’t pick up the phone even after that conversation with Johnny. It felt humiliating to crawl back to him after so much time, so you decided that whatever was going on, was destined to die.

my anger was starting to die down but now it is BACK AGAIN

You didn’t do anything but sit on a bench and hold back your tears while everybody else was having fun. You should’ve stayed at home, it would’ve been better than having to deal with Wonyoung — apparently, that was her name — laugh and giggle every time Haechan opened his mouth, or their intertwined hands while they both tried to learn how to use the ski. And now it’s not going better, she’s sitting on his lap while he caresses her hair with one hand and the other draws circles on her palm, and all your friends are sharing knowing glares as they point at them.

IM ABOUT TO KILL MYSELF

I SAW YOU MET SOMEBODY AND IM JEALOUS AS HELL THAT I CANT EVEN STOMACH LOVING SOMEBODY ELSE

You never had that with him, and the jealousy mixes with bitterness, until you realize that the arrangement you had didn’t include any of that. So why did you want it so much? Why do you want to be her so badly right now?

SHUT THE FUCK UPPPP

“It doesn’t matter, you had all the right to stop it,” he shrugs, looking down for a second, probably closing the app on his phone because you don’t hear the faint sound of the video playing anymore. “I don’t cry for sex.”

ouch she totally deserves it but it hurt

“I…” you stop and look away. Your leg is bouncing nervously and you’re playing with your fingers, pressing your nails into your skin. “I have to tell you something.” “Yeah?” “I… I lo—” “Haechannie!” Wonyoung’s voice rings loudly in the room, stopping you from going on. “We are taking a look around, want to come with me and keep me warm? Also, we’ll have dinner together.” You shouldn’t find the way she bats her eyes so irritating, neither her voice, or the way she’s looking at him right now, but you feel like puking, and you hope Haechan will decline; out of all the things he said before, you heard he was tired and wanted to go to bed, so he will say no, right? “Yeah, I’d love to. Be there in a minute.”

no but IM THE ONE ABOUT TO THROW UP STOP IM SUPER SAD

“No, definitely didn’t change,” he whispers when you run away from his fingers again. He wants to block you in, to stop you from slipping away, but if he couldn’t do it months ago, he doesn’t see how he can do it now. After all, you’ve never been his. This isn’t different from what you used to do in the morning, now he looks at you and can see that nothing changed. (…) You are long gone and he doesn’t even know how and why he lost you. Maybe it’s better like this, maybe all this silence coming from you can give him a reason to hate you and move on.

im not joking when i say im about to cry this is so sad :((((

CAUSE YOU WERENT MINE TO LOOSEEE YOU WEREN MINE TO LOSE (happy august btw!!!!)

But moving on from you seems something impossible to do.

moving on was always easy for me to do…. it hits different it hits different cause it's you

You hum and feel your heart break into million pieces again. It shouldn’t hit you so hard and leave you trembling, but it does.

rebs why would you to this to me 😭😭😭😭😭

“It wasn’t even started.”

oh so you HATE ME not this phrase it literally haunts me it’s been YEARS

He snorts and you glare at him, but that doesn’t faze him. “You said you were doing fine; it doesn’t look like it.”

i know its selfish but PLEASE HAECHAN DO SOMETHING I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE

“No. And don’t call me babe. I’m not your problem and I’m not your babe.”

IM NOT YOUR PROBLEM ANYMORE SO WHO AM I OFFENDING NOW

“She’s not my girlfriend,” he says resolutely

smiling fot the first time in ages

You glare at him, eyes dropping on your intertwined arms in disbelief when he links them and starts walking away from there.

please dont get my hopes up if this wont take them anywhere or ill kill myself… (future me: should’ve killed myself back then….)

after all these months he knows you can pass as bossy sometimes, and like things in a certain way, so he lets you.

sjdhs literally mee

“Thanks,” you utter, looking out of the window and grinning. This is wild, all over the place, and smells like the calm before the storm, but you like it because you’re back with him by your side.

girl who’s going to be okay

“I missed this,” he whispers after a few minutes when you’re both halfway through your order (…) “I missed this, dumbass,” he says, and you feel your heart in your throat when your eyes meet, and he has that glint that you love so much. It’s like a light shining through, and some softness that only shows up in certain moments, you still don’t know what causes it, but you love it.

he’s so sweet and selfless she doesn’t deserve him but if they dont end up together ill kill myself

“I don’t have a toothbrush at your place,” he laughs, reminding you that in the heat of the rush, you never went back to pick up all your things at his place.

AAAAAH WE’RE SO FUCKING BACK (future me: if only i knew…)

Things go back to normal after that. You’re not sure it’s healthy, considering you didn’t confess your feelings (…) The good sex is back. Haechan is back. You are back. The tension in the air is gone and you can enjoy the nights out without Mark worrying about you looking more dead than alive. And Johnny thinks you finally let loose.

seriously??? 😑

“No,” you cry out. He couldn’t play with you like that, sending you a video of him fucking his fist while he moaned and whimpered. You had spent the past six days replaying it, waiting for this moment to come, and even if he was so hot even through the camera, you needed to feel him inside, outside everywhere.

i have so much to say about this im going insane.

You feel lost in a haze when you turn around and snuggle closer to him, breathing in his scent and running your fingers on his chest. You look up and see him smiling lazily at you, and you reciprocate (…) Once he has ordered food and you’re both sitting in the bathtub, you let the warmth of the water wrap around you. It feels nice after the exhausting sex, and you love the scent of Haechan’s body wash, you love feeling his arms around you and his hands on you.

am i reading this right… is this aftercare??? we’ve come so far i’m so proud of her<3 (future me: ……….)

ILL KILL FOR THEM

NOW PRETTY BABY IM RUNNING TO THE HOUSE WHERE YOU STILL WAIT UP AND THAT PORCH LIGHT GLEAMS (…) AINT NO WAY IM GONNA SCREW UP NOW THAT I KNOW WHATS AT STAKE

But all the fears you have to face still appear like an insurmountable wall that menaces crashing on you.

suppressing my anger rn…

is she fucking kidding me right now ill fucking kill her cant stand her anymore (future me: i was TRULY mad here)

“I’m scared, okay? What’s between us is… is not going where I planned it to go and it’s becoming so much. I just don’t know what to do,” you try to explain, trying to keep your composure and don’t shake like a leaf.

SHUT THE FUCK UPPPP YOURE A GROWN ASS ADULT GET OVER IT OR STOP HURTING HIM 😑😑😑😑😑

im so sick and tired of her.

PUSH AWAY ALL THE PEOPLE WHO KNOW ME THE BEST BUT ITS ME WHOS BEEN MAKING THE BED IM SO TIRED OF BEING THE GIRL THAT I AM EVERY GOOD THING HAD TURNED INTO SOMETHING I DREAD AND IM PLAYING THE VICTIM SO WELL IN MY HEAD BUT ITS ME WHOS BEEN MAKING THE BED

??????????????? girl be serious i need her to THINK before she speaks cause shes just saying bullshit at this point. “im trying not to hurt the ones that i love” my ass

EVERY SINGLE THING I TOUCH BECOMES SICK WITH SADNESS CAUSE ITS ALL OVER NOW ALL OUT TO SEA

“But why? I thought I was better than your ex, why are you pushing me away?” He knows he’s not perfect, but he’s never done anything to hurt you, moreover, he always tried everything to protect you and make you feel good, and that went beyond sex. He thought it was clear, but apparently, it was all to waste.

she doesn’t deserve him.

“Oh, really?” It’s a scoff, full of sarcasm, mockery and resentment and it’s even followed by a click of the tongue.

i’m 100% with him in this

AND DOWN THE ROAD YOU WILL LOVE ME UNTIL YOU RESENT ME

“I don’t know.”

someone PLEASE slap her

“Because I love you?” He screams, jaw dropping as he realizes what he said. “Fuck, there, I said it, and I scared you away once and for all, but honestly, I can’t keep doing this any longer. I love you. I don’t know why but I guess I am dumb and always fall for the people I can’t have. But I do. And I would love to sit here and listen to you because, guess what, I want this to work out. Because that’s what normal people do. They talk and they listen. They don’t run away.”

he deserves so much better….

“Grow up.” “Grow up because you need to learn how to deal with this shit, whatever it is, whatever is making you act like this. Excuses and apologies are not enough. You might not hurt people on purpose, but you still do and I…”

THATS RIGHT TELL HER and while you’re at it please slap her too 😁

Your breath gets stuck in your throat and more tears flood your face, blurring your view. Those words feel like a gunshot straight to your heart and you can’t believe you’re hearing them from him. You know that wasn’t his initial thought, but he doesn’t backtrack.

here she goes… playing the victim one again 😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑

“No, please,” you scream when Haechan starts walking to the door swiftly, opening it before you can even make him out. “Don’t leave,” you cry, struggling to stand on your knees. “Don’t leave me, too.”

oh so she can leave and ghost people but they need to be patient and understanding with her? fuck off

“I need to be alone,” his voice is broken and he’s clearly holding back tears, and you’d like to run in his arms and hug him, but, once again, the rational part of you is holding you back, so you let him go, like you let go every other person of your life, with the difference you didn’t care about them as you care about him.

😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑 literally no words rn.

Johnny chuckles, “And what if he’s the love of your life?”

more like the loss of her life at this point…

DANCING PHANTOMS ON THE TERRACE ARE THEY SECOND HAND EMBARRASSED THAT I CANT GET OUT OF BED CAUSE SOMETHING COUNTERFEITS DEAD

“You let Haechan in, maybe explain something to him so he puts his mind at ease because I think that both Adele and Taylor Swift’s discographies are about to end, he seemed rather depressed in his stories.”

lmao he’s so me

Haechan chuckles, it’s a bitter laugh, trapped in the back of his throat while his eyes roll to the sky and his head shakes. “Us? Now you decided there’s an us?”

the satisfaction i’m feeling right now

He hums, he’d love to add that he doesn’t want you to leave, but he keeps his mouth shut and waits for you to talk.

oh my sweetie selfless cutie pie☹️

“No, I do, because you let me… you let me in. You talked about your family, about your struggles, how you moved here on your own and I said a few things and I even lied.”

here comes my anger again….

listen i know that must have been very traumatizing for her specially since she was only 15 when it happened but i still blame her and dont pity her cause she should’ve went to therapy a loooong time ago but she chose to be selfish and hurt everyone around her so i cant sympathize with her (future: i still can’t sympathize with her 😭)

“I love you,” you confess, looking into his eyes and he freezes, the hold on your palm loosening. “And that’s the shitties confession ever, and I’m so sorry I just finished trauma dumping you, but I… I can’t keep losing good things in life because I’m afraid of taking risks. I can’t erase you, I’ve tried, but I can’t.”

i honestly dont know how to feel

ONE DAY ILL MAKE SURE YOU GET A REAL APOLOGYYYYY

I love you too much to care about what will happen, to worry about something that might not even happen. But even if it will, even if life will ever tear us away, I want to live in the present, I want to kiss you in front of our friends, I want to hold hands when you pick me up from work, I want to sing with you in the car as we drive to our favorite place, I want to wake up next to you and don’t have to sneak out like a thief. I want to leave my toothbrush at your place, next to yours, right where it belongs.”

FINALLY she’s expressing her feelings and making him feel loved

“And I know I’m hard to be with but if you want me, if you feel like you can take me for who I am, I promise that I won’t disappear ever again and I will let you in.”

crying she doesn’t deserve him but im happy for him<3

You smile, gulping before moving closer, leaving only a few millimetres between you. “To us.” When your lips meet it feels like a patch being put on your broken wings.

IF YOU KISS ME WILL IT BE JUST LIKE I DREAMED IT WILL IT PACH YOUR BROKEN WINGS??

AWWW FINALLYYYYYYYY WE FUCKING CHEERED WOHOOO IM HAPPY FOR THEM AND I WISH NOTHING BUT HAPPINESS FOR THEIR FUTURE (not me talking as if they were an irl couple) AND IF SOMEONE TRIES TO SEPARATE THEM ILL KILL THEM AND THEN KILL MYSELF

well… so it is 3:23 am and i just finished. this was such a rollercoaster of emotions i went from haha this is so fun to aaw they are so sweet i love them to i FUCKING HATE HER SHUT UP!!!! to omg i want to fucking die i’m so miserable to we’re so fucking back!! to I HATE HER SO MUCH!!!! to i love them please get married ill kill for them

the amount of anger i felt is not a joke i wanted to punch her so bad at one (two) point(s) 😭 thank god johnny is such a good friend cause if they didn’t end up together i would have KILLED MYSELF and honestly you never fail to impress me they way you write is so good and every time you make me feel so many emotions like the amount of ANGER i felt was only because of your good writing so i applaud you rebs

also i hope you know i dont mean bad when i say i hate her and everything because in reality (i do hate her sjdj im jk) i love every character you wtite cause they are so different and complex every time, you truly feel you get to know them while reading the story. the way you describe them is so good i love it!

and i can’t wait to read the bonus asap (i was planning to read it immediately but i end up finishing hits different later than i planned and also i didn’t expect the bonus to be so long but i love you for that) (future me: im hoping i can read the “sequel” this weekend so well see)

also i’d like to add they way you write is so smart cause not also you describe the characters so well and add the perfect amount of angst jokes love etc but you also manage to put in little details of the song that inspired you to write this… for example i loved when she was saying his name in the car (i slur your name til someone puts me in a car i stopped receiving invitations) cause it made sense and didn’t feel forced? idk i love those little details<3

anyways read you soon rebs have an amazing weekend 🩷

p.s: i tried to edit this to correct some grammar mistakes but i also did it past midnight soooo… if you see some mistakes no you didn’t

- 💌

i’m so ready for this!!! let's go!

past you not knowing you would’ve hated her for this ajsoaisa

He sucks his teeth, rolling his eyes at your panicked eyes that are looking around the room, before he responds nonchalantly, “Couch, probably. You always throw it there.” You quirk a brow. Always? Are you picking up habits? i actually love when the characters unconsciously pick up habits and even more when the other person starts to realize about them something so sweet and domestic of knowing the little things about each other….

“something so sweet and domestic” before the storm and the total chaos lmao (no but it’s really cute)

this is so funny after reading the whole ask you went through 100 different emotions

The fear that it was his way to confess to you and screw up twenty years of friendship got your skin crawling for a second, but when you were left alone with the black-haired man to your right, it all made sense. omg that’s the worst fear of being a girl and having a male friend cause why would they always wannt to ruin EVERYTHING

no fr men always ruin everything thank god johnny is not like this

Haechan smiles, or smirks, it’s almost a chuckle, you can’t quite describe it. “At the gym.” that smirk he always make is SO HOT im on my knees for him ù

if I don’t make him smirk in every single one of my fics i will DIE

You shake your head, sipping on the glass of alcohol and emptying it. “No, I’ve always been like this. I think nobody made a mess of me to leave me hooked on them.” kinda wish i was her…

same

Back then you didn’t know where that night would’ve led you. You had no idea that the person that would’ve made a mess of you was right there by your side. But of one thing you can be sure, it was Johnny’s fault. GRABBING MY HAIR RN IM SO EXCITED ALREADY (future me editing this: oh poor me… you didn’t know what was coming 😭)

THIS IS SO FUNNY AKSAOOSA

You’re sure that night nothing clicked between you and Haechan; whatever Johnny had in mind, didn’t happen. You two didn’t even exchange numbers, you can’t even remember if you said a proper goodbye to him when you stumbled out of that restaurant hanging from your best friend’s arm. girl wdym u didn’t ask for his number and nothing happened if i was her they would’ve had to take me away from him with security

she was trying to be mysterious

pick your poison babe… i’m poison either way…

TELL ME I WANT TO KNOW

He laughs and then shakes his head. “So shitty you can’t take some more for me?” He tilts his head, raising his brows while he briefly looks down where his hands are patiently waiting for your good to go and get out of his pants. doggy, missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, upside down, inside out, one leg up, two legs up, in public, on a spaceship, in the garden, on the grass, in a car, in a box, on a table, against a wall

this is insane omg what happened to shame? (same)

but you want him too badly and you can’t wait any longer, so you propose a thing, “Sit here, I’ll ride.” she’s so me

at least you get her when it’s time to be horny that’s good

she thought she did something (just like haechan did in wave)

you really couldn’t get those tricks, truly sure that if somebody is interested in you they won’t disappear or appear based on how fast or slow you reply not related to the story but this made me sad cause this reminded me of my “best friend” and i think the same

oh that’s so bad, i’m sorry, i hate when people fight over that, it’s so, so stupid

do you know whom you’re talking to? A loser. PLEASKEDJSKX 😭😭😭

called his ass OUT

same unfortunately

“I was thinking — oh, shit,” Haechan mumbles before you shut him up by jumping on him and crashing his lips on yours, your fingers locking immediately in his hair and pulling it back harshly. “Wow, fuck, needy tonight?” this made me sad :( like i get her but i also get him so i feel this whole situation is kinda unfair for him but at the same time they both know this is clearly only sex

this part broke my heart so badly ngl. i always feel insane to say this because they only exist in my head but the way haechan wanted her to happy, to lift the weight off her shoulders even when he didn’t know what it was, even his love was so selfless, you know? (especially after when he tells her to let go of control) and the way he was already so happy he could at least somehow do it while they had sex makes me so sad. he’s the best

I SCREAMED LMAO (true)

SHE’S THE DEATH YOU CHOSE YOU’RE IN TERRIBLE DANGER

THIS OMG DELETE (but this part was what i was referring to before, that "i’ve got you" held so many unsaid words)

That made perfect sense, but it doesn’t make sense that you panicked at the idea of him with another girl, almost feeling sick to your stomach and about to throw up. I PICTURED YOU WITH OTHER GIRLS IN LOVEEEEE THEN THREW UP ON THE STREET

I love it when you get the lyrics references

ikr? such a small thing but so nice

spoiler: you died…

Not everyone can carry the baggage that we bring with us, and that’s fine.” he feels like a warm hug ❤️‍🩹

he does :(

“Think they’ll end up doing it in the bathroom or the car?” mark just shut up 😭😭😭😭😭

mark was a menace lmao

we weren’t back at all

“Hey, pretty,” a man’s voice speaks from the side; barely five minutes of peace and you are already crowded with unwanted attention i HATE when im not in the mood and this happens

worst thing ever, i was sick even while writing it

“Her boyfriend,” Haechan talks before you can even think of an answer, too dumb you were already thinking of a short way to explain what was going on between you. “Needed something, sir?” SHDHAKDBSKDNSK STOP YES YES YES I WAS PRAYING FOR THIS TO HAPPEN

it’s cliché i know but i HAD TO WRITE IT

“I didn’t drink,” you huff, throwing your head back against the seat and closing your eyes while you damn every decision that led you there. “Got two small glasses of something that wasn’t even worth it while I watched you grind on her all night.” she’s so funny cause she refuses to be vulnerable in front of him and let him know her more but then she gets jealous and end up behaving like this shdjsj but i get her if i see haechan flirting with someone else i would also make a scene just to not lose him

she truly thought she was slick and smart and was failing terribly

they were at their best here (it lasted one week)

“Oh, sure, of course, you weren’t just hugging me, fuck,” he curses when you tease his inner thighs, never touching his sensitive part. There is a hint of sadness in his words but you pretend you don’t get it. nooo stop im getting kinda mad cause she’s making him suffer just to “protect” herself when in reality she’s just hurting them both

this was so sad to write cause i could perfectly see haechan sulking because he was expecting something sweet and she just wanted to fuck

This doesn’t feel like fun like your usual hard fucks, it’s like a sense of sadness and bitterness is running between you and it makes your heart sting. THIS IS HER FAULT

IT’S COMPLICATED THO i know it's not the same haechan cause this is a different universe but… the winestainedress!haechan got his payback for the way he acted in sour. you have to be honest we forgave him FAR WORSE THAN THIS!!!!

“What?” He growls in response, hips slamming harshly against your ass. “Is this still not enough? Am I still not enough? Will I ever be enough for you?” nooooo my baby she fucked up so bad and i feel really bad for him :( CAUSE ALL I EVER WANTED WAS TO BE ENOUGH FOR YOU DONT YOU THINK I LOVED YOU TOO MUCH TO BE USED AND DISCARDED DONT YOU THINK I LOVED YOU TOO MUCH TO THINK I DESERVE NOTHING?? (everything goes back to the traitor series…)

once again... hits different!haechan is paying the price of what sour!haechan did

You just proposed to fuck, it was normal in your relationship, so why was he mad and why were you sad? What happened in that fragment when your bodies were tangled in a mess bigger than what it looked like? girl be serious she’s making me mad now 😑 (me from the future: i was genuinely starting to get so mad here sidjsjdj)

i can only imagine how mad you were i’m sorry aodosids

must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero (it is, it’s me, rooting for the mc)

You ghosted him. Left his place after breakfast with a promise to text him in the week just to never pick up the phone to go to his contact again. You even have to avoid Johnny and your friend’s nights out because you can’t face him. i want to slap her CAN I SLAP HER??? SPLENDIDLY SELFISH CHARMINGLY HELPLESS EXCELLENT FUN TIL YOU GET TO KNOW HER THEN SHE RUNS LIKE ITS A RACE BEHIND HER BACK HER BEST MATES LAUGHED AND THEY NICKNAMED HER THE BOLTER

SHUT UP WHY IS THE BOLTER HER SONG OMG AOSKOASJO

splendidly selfish, charmingly helpless, excellent fun 'til you get to know her, then she runs like it's a race. behind her back, her best mates laughed and they nicknamed her "The Bolter"

You went back to your ex and met up with two people you met at a club, when, too heartbroken, you needed someone to fill the void inside of you, only for things to get worst and leave you heartbroken, full of guilt and unsatisfied. WTFF?????? im so mad right now like she’s seriously so dumb i understand (maybe)l, not really) trying to get away because she was scared and hooking up with other men but go back to fuck her ex??? that’s so low

that’s the sign that she was desperate…

i won’t bother you again i promise I GAVE YOU ALL MY BEST MES MY ENDLESS EMPATHY AND ALL I DID WAS BLEED AS I TRIED TO BE THE BRAVEST SOLDIER FIGHTING IN ONLY YOUR ARMY FRONTLINES DONT YOU IGNORE ME DO SOMETHING BABE SAY SOMETHING!!!! LOSE SOMETHING BABE RISK SOMETHING!! CHOOSE SOMETHING BABE I GOT NOTHING TO BELIVE. UNLESS. YOURE CHOOSING ME.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO STOP NOT THIS SONG

do i throw out everything we built or keep it? i'm getting tired even for a phoenix always risin' from the ashes, mendin' all her gashes. you might just have dealt the final blow. my poor haechannie :(

You don’t reply even this time, but you cry and sob into your pillow, covered by your sheets as the phone glows in the dark. And you cry and cry until you feel like you can’t breathe and the weight on your chest gets heavier and pushes you down into your misery. oh SHUT UP im so mad at her right now that i cant even sympathize with her. haechan was nothing but understanding and caring and loving with her and she was just an asshole she even had the opportunity to change but she chose not to and hurt him so much

looking back at this i’m surprised people made it to the end of the story cause with no explanation she was a bit insufferable

“You first say I need some fun and then the fun breaks my heart and now the fun at the bar is not okay because I’m not sober to you and him and why I can’t have nice things?” “the fun breaks my heart” SHUT THE FUCK UPPPP THIS IS LITERALLY YOUR FAULT

…true

“He seems rather heartbroken, and he asked a weird question about you.” and when i punch her then what You breathe in deeply and rub your temples. “But what if it’s wrong? What if… God, I’m doing all this and I’m not even sure he likes me back.” SHES SO DUMB ILL PUNCH HER

THIS IS KILLING ME AJDSOSAKSJ

It will tear you into pieces if you keep putting rules to things that are destined to flow freely.” EXACTLY like you can put rules to something you can’t control she’s not talking about school or a job she’s talking about feelings !!!!

SHE’S TRAUMATIZED LEAVE HER ALONE (no but you and johnny are right it’s just hard for her...)

i’m not supposed to laugh but i can’t help it

STOP I’LL CRY NOOOO

real (if someone said that to me i would kill myself right in front of them)

no but IM THE ONE ABOUT TO THROW UP STOP IM SUPER SAD

we could’ve avoided some pain if wongyoung minded her business

BACK WHEN WE WERE STILL CHANGING FOR THE BETTER WANTING WAS ENOUGH FOR ME IT WAS ENOUGH TO LIVE FOR THE HOPE OF IT ALL CANCEL PLANS JUST IN CASE YOU CALL AND SAY MEET ME BEHIND THE MALL SO MUCH FOR SUMMER LOVE AND SAYING US (happy august!!!)

You hum and feel your heart break into million pieces again. It shouldn’t hit you so hard and leave you trembling, but it does. rebs why would you to this to me 😭😭😭😭😭

i’m so sorry (i will do it again)

“It wasn’t even started.” oh so you HATE ME not this phrase it literally haunts me it’s been YEARS

please don’t tell me someone said it to you😭😭

He snorts and you glare at him, but that doesn’t faze him. “You said you were doing fine; it doesn’t look like it.” i know its selfish but PLEASE HAECHAN DO SOMETHING I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE

do something = pay for her therapy lmao

“No. And don’t call me babe. I’m not your problem and I’m not your babe.” IM NOT YOUR PROBLEM ANYMORE SO WHO AM I OFFENDING NOW

noooooooooooooooooo but also i offer you “don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby, look at this godforsaken mess that you made me”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” he says resolutely smiling fot the first time in ages

did not last long i fear :(

You glare at him, eyes dropping on your intertwined arms in disbelief when he links them and starts walking away from there. please dont get my hopes up if this wont take them anywhere or ill kill myself… (future me: should’ve killed myself back then….)

yes… it would’ve hurt less

(is not going to be okay)

he really is the perfect man

“I don’t have a toothbrush at your place,” he laughs, reminding you that in the heat of the rush, you never went back to pick up all your things at his place. AAAAAH WE’RE SO FUCKING BACK (future me: if only i knew…)

IT’S JOEVER

disjodisorf

share it with the class…

ajdkjsdfs at least you were proud of her for like… two seconds…

From anything else that ever happened before with anybody else, and even with him. And you think you might get used to this. To a home, not a house. To a place to come back to that’s full of life and love. To him, and his laugh, and his voice, and his clothes scattered around, and his screams when he loses against his friends. ILL KILL FOR THEM NOW PRETTY BABY IM RUNNING TO THE HOUSE WHERE YOU STILL WAIT UP AND THAT PORCH LIGHT GLEAMS (…) AINT NO WAY IM GONNA SCREW UP NOW THAT I KNOW WHATS AT STAKE

BUT IT’S GONNA BE ALRIGHT I DID MY TIME (it’s truly gonna be alright)

Haechan has no intention of letting it slide this time. When he can’t reach you through call, when you still don’t answer his texts after five days, he knows he won’t write pathetic, heartbroken messages to you to let you go again. is she fucking kidding me right now ill fucking kill her cant stand her anymore (future me: i was TRULY mad here)

ahsdskfkfkdl i’m so sorry

You break into a cry, but you immediately stop yourself, forcing the tears back in your eyes and the sobs down your throat. Once again you can’t give him an answer, just a useless apology. “I’m sorry,” you mutter, keeping eye contact no matter how much it hurts because you need him to know you’re being honest, you’re not lying or putting up walls. It’s just hard to tear down the ones you already have built around yourself. im so sick and tired of her. PUSH AWAY ALL THE PEOPLE WHO KNOW ME THE BEST BUT ITS ME WHOS BEEN MAKING THE BED IM SO TIRED OF BEING THE GIRL THAT I AM EVERY GOOD THING HAD TURNED INTO SOMETHING I DREAD AND IM PLAYING THE VICTIM SO WELL IN MY HEAD BUT ITS ME WHOS BEEN MAKING THE BED

THIS IS SO HER NOOOOOOOO

“Everything. All of this is new to me and I… I’m trying to be a better person. I’m trying not to hurt the ones that I love, and don’t fuck everything up, but I can’t. Everything I touch becomes sick and dies and… and I don’t know what to do.” ??????????????? girl be serious i need her to THINK before she speaks cause shes just saying bullshit at this point. “im trying not to hurt the ones that i love” my ass EVERY SINGLE THING I TOUCH BECOMES SICK WITH SADNESS CAUSE ITS ALL OVER NOW ALL OUT TO SEA

the way this applies to her brother too… i’m gonna be sick

“Oh, really?” It’s a scoff, full of sarcasm, mockery and resentment and it’s even followed by a click of the tongue. i’m 100% with him in this AND DOWN THE ROAD YOU WILL LOVE ME UNTIL YOU RESENT ME

he’s god strongest soldier tbh

“I don’t know.” someone PLEASE slap her

johnny was really close to doing it

she will become the better he deserves i promise

i would like to be excluded from the narrative

the emojis are killing me ajsoaios

Johnny chuckles, “And what if he’s the love of your life?” more like the loss of her life at this point… DANCING PHANTOMS ON THE TERRACE ARE THEY SECOND HAND EMBARRASSED THAT I CANT GET OUT OF BED CAUSE SOMETHING COUNTERFEITS DEAD

oh, what a valiant roar, what a bland goodbye. the coward claimed (s)he was a lion. i’m combing through the braids of lies. “i’ll never leave” ...“never mind”. our field of dreams, engulfed in fire. your arson’s match your somber eye..................................... (killing myself right now)

“Remember when I told you about Johnny and my brother?” Haechan nods, even if he doesn’t get its correlation with you two. “I lied. They never fought; my brother died,” your voice falters as it comes out to give him such a big piece of you. You take a deep breath and then exhale, “It was all my fault.” listen i know that must have been very traumatizing for her specially since she was only 15 when it happened but i still blame her and dont pity her cause she should’ve went to therapy a loooong time ago but she chose to be selfish and hurt everyone around her so i cant sympathize with her (future: i still can’t sympathize with her 😭)

the worst thing about this is... that she only really hurt donghyuck cause before him she never had something serious with anyone else 😭 but yeah therapy was necessary can't say otherwise

she will get better i promise

she needed time (84 years...)

You smile, gulping before moving closer, leaving only a few millimetres between you. “To us.” When your lips meet it feels like a patch being put on your broken wings. IF YOU KISS ME WILL IT BE JUST LIKE I DREAMED IT WILL IT PACH YOUR BROKEN WINGS??

it DID patch their broken wings

It’s soft, and there’s still a lot of fear in your shaking hands and lips, but it feels like floating in the sky. You know it’s going to be hard for the both of you, he has his skeletons just like you have yours, but this feels right. This feels like the place where you have to be. In his arms, hanging from his lips. AWWW FINALLYYYYYYYY WE FUCKING CHEERED WOHOOO IM HAPPY FOR THEM AND I WISH NOTHING BUT HAPPINESS FOR THEIR FUTURE (not me talking as if they were an irl couple) AND IF SOMEONE TRIES TO SEPARATE THEM ILL KILL THEM AND THEN KILL MYSELF well… so it is 3:23 am and i just finished. this was such a rollercoaster of emotions i went from haha this is so fun to aaw they are so sweet i love them to i FUCKING HATE HER SHUT UP!!!! to omg i want to fucking die i’m so miserable to we’re so fucking back!! to I HATE HER SO MUCH!!!! to i love them please get married ill kill for them the amount of anger i felt is not a joke i wanted to punch her so bad at one (two) point(s) 😭 thank god johnny is such a good friend cause if they didn’t end up together i would have KILLED MYSELF and honestly you never fail to impress me they way you write is so good and every time you make me feel so many emotions like the amount of ANGER i felt was only because of your good writing so i applaud you rebs also i hope you know i dont mean bad when i say i hate her and everything because in reality (i do hate her sjdj im jk) i love every character you wtite cause they are so different and complex every time, you truly feel you get to know them while reading the story. the way you describe them is so good i love it!

i didn’t reply to some things before because i wanted to give a broader explanation without repeating myself 10 times. i get why you feel this way toward her, she’s not an easy character at all. and i know this time i dragged the pain for long but as someone with some not-so-healthy coping mechanisms i know it’s not easy to snap out of them no matter how much you want to. it doesn’t justify anything because she DID hurt him but, at the end, they talked about it and that’s what matters. if both are willing to grow i believe you can put the pain of the past in the past and move on. also (probably it’s not clear cause it’s not from his pov) but haechan knew there was something deeper and that’s why he decided to not let go and talk to her and listen, if he didn’t care for her he would’ve dipped long before they reached that point. same thing goes for her, it was a lot, and if she let him in it’s only because she deeply cared for him.

i always see the same dynamics in fwb to lovers when the man pushes her away but with no reason to do so other than being an asshole. i wanted to give it a twist and don’t write the same old “she falls in love first and he doesn’t like her like that, and she’s miserable”. i wanted to put something more and give more depth to everything, like the lack of communication and where it leads you and how hard it is to heal and that love doesn’t solve everything but sometimes makes it harder cause it feels like something more to carry and not ✨a light happy feeling ✨. i’m aware this way it hurts much more also because the reader knows both have feelings but well, traumas suck so it is what it is.

and let’s be honest, the one who did the most was johnny and I’m really happy about that because friends are so important in these situations and he opened up her eyes, supporting her but also being honest and pushing her to get out of her comfort zone.

i’m happy you liked it either way. actually, it makes me happier that you liked it even if you didn’t vibe with her cause damn, that means i am good at something hahaha

i hope you will like her more in the sequel cause even if i would’ve strangled her now and then i love her a lot, she was such a complex character to write and i had so much fun. (yeah it is long, i had a lot to say lmao but i really love them and i missed writing about them)

i always panic about everything being balanced and in the right amount so this makes me take a breath of relief. YOU NOCITED THAT YAS! i love that line in the song, i had to also put it in the story somehow. i put a lot of efforts in details so when someone picks them up it makes me incredibly happy

anyways read you soon rebs have an amazing weekend 🩷 p.s: i tried to edit this to correct some grammar mistakes but i also did it past midnight soooo… if you see some mistakes no you didn’t

see you at the next aks! don’t worry about the mistakes i understand anyway and i’m sure i make them too

have a great week! 💖💖💖

#anon answered #💌 anon #fic: hits different

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exoluxionlove · 2 years ago

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Baekhyun Interview - W Korea March 2023

Days With Baekhyun Returning after two years, Baekhyun used the word "comfort" often.

- - - - -

Baekhyun's only wish is to sing heart-felt, timeless songs for us. Baekhyun talked about the days spent with us and the days ahead of us.

<W Korea> How many days has it been since you were discharged from the military?

Today is precisely the third day since I've been out.

You have finally gifted flower shoes to the fans. ('Giving flower shoes' is a Korean phrase that means returning to the significant other who had been waiting for their partner to return from military service.)

So, you recently did a live show to celebrate discharge. Seeing you're still as bright and youthful, fans recalled the time you promoted your second solo mini-album, "Delight," released three years ago.

Honestly, I was super worried. But I was relieved to see their warm reactions. I'm grateful to my parents. Haha.

You talked about your time in the army during the live show.

Most of my training campmates were born after 1999, except for a few. I was the eldest there. Everyone followed me like their older brother. I still keep in touch with the friends I met then. Recently, I got a call from one of them. He said, "I am working out at the gym right now." He was a skinny one, and every single day at the training camp, I told him to work out.

Baekhyun, as we know, was the life of the party among the EXO and SuperM members. Your bubbly personality would have shined in the army training camp.

There was no exception. I didn't let anyone fall behind. Whenever I saw someone wanting to give up, I said, "You can't lose to things like this," "If you keep giving up, this becomes your habit," and, "Real life outside is much harder than this." I don’'t let my friends give up or fall behind. I pull them together.

I presume the past two years have been a time to realize and reassess who Byun Baekhyun really is as a person, not just Baekhyun from EXO.

Yeah. My MBTI changed during the break from ISFP to ESTJ. I've been known as a homebody for a long time among my friends. But I’'m actually an extrovert and a very active person. But when I look back on my childhood, I barely had time to spend at home. To the point where my mother always said, "How come I see my son only for breakfast?" I felt like I went back to my real self during the break.

Was it also a time to realize again what your fans mean to you?

Of course. I still have a long way to go to learn about the fans thoroughly. There's something I learned this time, though. The fact that our existence to each other is a lot bigger than what we think. During the first year of my alternative military service, I looked back a lot. I watched a lot of the past concert videos. At concerts, I had a lot of fun with them. There were times when I saw my facial expression on the stage and thought I really did bust my butt to pull everything. Also, sometimes I felt really empty and felt this unfillable void. At one point, I thought, "Will they still be there?" while listening to the cheers of fans in those videos. They are like a really good teacher who would grade me and encourage me. They inspire me to do my homework. They have had me run, take lessons and become a better person. I want to do well to hear their acknowledgment. If they didn't exist, I probably would not have tried so hard to come this far.

Your Namu-wiki page has a "Fan Love" section. As we read through the things you've said to the fans, we thought even a real boyfriend couldn't say such sweet things.

Haha. Definitely my mom's influence there. She speaks so gently. She is the sweetest person, really. And I am the youngest in the family. My family poured sweet love on me. Sometimes, fans ask me how I can speak so nicely. To be honest, I don't know. I feel it's nothing special, to me, a very ordinary and everyday thing.

It seems like fans could rarely feel the army break. You filmed 20 pieces of YouTube content ahead of time and released them during the break.

I know how hard it is to wait. Even when we did the EXO concert tour, we couldn't release an album during that time. So it had been a long-standing concern about how to fill the vacancy. In particular, no one was trying to do something special to fill the vacancy during the military break. At first, I thought about making a small game instead of a video. Like the Tamagotchi game, fans can foster 'Baekhyun' from level 1 for 641 days while I am away. Feed him, water him. Haha.

Yeah, that is pretty much it. Actually, I was swamped when we were filming the YouTube videos. I had a hectic schedule. It was just around when my third solo mini album <Bambi> came out, and on top of that, SuperM’'s promotion overlapped. But after filming them, I felt so indescribably proud.

The 2021 album <Bambi> leaves much to be desired in some ways because it had no official activities due to your military service. Nonetheless, it recorded high sales, enough to bring the double million-seller title. It was also the album released in the year of your 30th birthday, showcasing your finest skills as a vocalist.

<Bambi> was created strictly with my own needs and vision. I tried everything I wanted to do without looking at anyone, and I wanted to free my mind by doing so. You are right. I put in everything I could as a vocalist. I first rearranged my vocal tone around the time of my first solo mini-album <City Lights> in 2019, and I wanted to see how much I had grown since then. I became very dedicated because I thought I could make a better sound than two years ago. I tried the vocal ranges that I wouldn't have chosen in the past because I was too nervous. I purposely chose difficult music because I wanted to experience both failures and trials.

In particular, the title song Bambi seems to have been a regular song for the music school entrance exam that year. It's perfect for showing off your vocal skills going back and forth freely with your falsetto, modal, and head voice.

Well, I don't really recommend it. It's a high-risk song, the beat and rhythm are tough. It's a pretty challenging song to sing well.

With the release of <Bambi>, Baekhyun's genre and brand have become more apparent. "Baekhyun" reminds us of groovy R&B beats from UN Village in the album <City Lights> and Candy in <Delight>.

R&B is a genre that I've been attached to for a long time, so I’ll continue with it. However, I also want new challenges. I want to try this and that without being too picky. I want to be an all-rounder. I'm interested in singing-rap these days.

Which musician are you paying attention to as a reference these days?

I've gotten closer to Colde recently. I like his singing style, and it's fabulous that he pulls off the melody rhythmically as if he's rapping. I've requested songs from Colde. I don't know what kind of work will come out yet, but we'll work together soon.

As a musician, there's no more valuable experience than getting a "response" to your song. All three solo albums released so far have recorded respectable sales. Did you expect such success?

Not at all. It exceeded my expectations. This record was possible thanks to the efforts of many K-pop singers ahead of me. In particular, the sales volume of the second album <Delight> was the highest in 20 years of Korean pop music history.

<Delight> became the first solo album to achieve the million-seller title, and you became the second artist to hold such titles for both the group and solo albums, following after Seo Tai-ji.

Yes, but it's all thanks to the dedication of so many Korean musicians. As K-pop became more known worldwide, more people started paying attention to K-culture. The Korean artists before me had already paved the roads and I just got to piggyback on them.

I don't feel any guilt when I listen to your music. Maybe it's a complete anachronism, but there's still a certain prejudice regarding idol music. Similarly, some idol music is referred to as a 'hidden masterpiece.' But when I listen to Baekhyun's solo music, I feel like I'm just listening to really good music.

Thanks. I indeed paid a lot of attention to that. I chose a lot of genres that wouldn't come from SM. SM prefers strong and intense sounds, but I wanted to focus on easy-listening music. It was partly because of my preference and strategic choice to differentiate between EXO and solo activities. Seeing that many of the tracks from my solo albums are still receiving a lot of love, I think it was a good decision.

It is common to spot excessiveness in solo albums by Idol group members. It was rather unique that Baekhyun has an easy mood, as you've just said.

I pushed for that. I kept thinking, 'I'll make more easy-listening music,' 'The music should not change in the middle,' and 'The melody should flow as expected.' I wanted to minimize statement sounds and focus on the lyrics. There was even some feedback from the company that it fell short. But I kept pushing. My motto was to do something that sounds easy to people's ears, like passive music, even if it may not feel 'sophisticated or innovative' for some.

What you just said seems connected to the question of, 'what is good music to me as a musician?'

Probably. In a way, I'm making music that's pleasant to listen to. But I don't usually listen to a lot of music. My ears are so tired. Since I'm a singer, I need to know a lot of songs, but when I find one I like, I listen to it over and over. There's something in common when I look at the songs I'm hooked on. It's not too much, and it just has one or two significant factors.

For example?

I especially like old-fashioned pop songs. Peabo Bryson's Why Goodbye is also a song that I love, for example. If you listen to it, there's a particular section once in the bridge, once in the chorus, and once in the verse. You can listen to it comfortably, and the sound is completely filled with only vocals.

What is the vocal tone you pursue?

If I could have a voice that doesn't go out of date, I couldn't ask for more.

It's also the most challenging thing.

I know. I once imagined, "Will Baekhyun's episode of 'Hidden Singer' come out?" I don't think so. Because my voice doesn't have a distinctive feature. But it's definitely a voice that can give you some comfort. A good tone depends on the time and taste. It's something that keeps moving without being fixed. So I just want my voice to be peaceful and stable. I hope I can make the sound warm enough to relax your body. That's all I want.

It's been 11 years since your debut, and you're still taking vocal lessons every week, right?

Yes. I have a big desire to evolve. I thought about it when EXO received a lot of attention with Growl in 2013. 'Why are so many people going crazy? Am I really that good? I don't think so. If the heat goes away, they will see me.' That's why I kept trying. I always criticize myself more than others do. It's not a matter of high self-esteem and low self-esteem. I'm just continuing to make up for my shortcomings because I know my weaknesses better than anyone else.

To me, Baekhyun is not a person with low self-esteem but one who constantly and carefully self-censors himself.

Yes, that's right. Maybe I am a perfectionist, and I hate it when there's no complete ending. If I don't think I can finish something properly, I don't even start. I tend to get extremely disappointed with myself if I don't do something perfectly at work.

A perfectionist who pursues easiness... It sounds hard. Haha.

Haha. As a musician, I want to be an easy person who can blend in with the public. I don't want to be a musician who is so cool that people admire and want to follow. I want to be someone people can talk to easily when they meet me on the street while listening to my song.

I want to deliver encouraging lyrics. And deliver the message that you shouldn’'t give up easily and try to face more challenges. I think the disappearance of the "Jeong" culture played a role in making people get easily tired these days. In the past, when a neighbor moved in, we used to make steamed rice cakes. If the next door neighbor cooks a lot of food, they would share it with others. But living in a disconnected world without affection, people seem to think only of themselves. I want to put a hopeful message in my song that we can all unite in harmony again.

It's been two years since W Magazine and Baekhyun met—, since the cover of the March 2021 issue, right? Throughout today's shoot, the staff said you were sexy. Baekhyun's "soft sexiness" that you've shown in your solo career seems to be reflected in today's shoot.

Sexy... Haha. I don't think the sexiness that I have is the sexiness that's full of intense emotions. It's more like this. Sometimes you play with your friends, and you feel unexpectedly sexy. I think I have the sexiness to make people a little curious about me. Haha.

Today's shoot was with Cartier's Tank Française Watch and Icon Collection. These are pieces that have been called Wannabe by many artists for their timeless classic aesthetic. Regardless of time and nationality, who is the greatest artist for Baekhyun?

Michael Jackson! Michael Jackson was the only artist who stood still on stage for a few seconds or minutes and people couldn't stop cheering. His songs have made many people cry for a long time, giving them joy and happiness. So just seeing him standing still on the stage makes them tear up. There isn't an artist who can beat Michael Jackson.

Still, what would be your secret weapon that you could win over Michael Jackson?

Hmm... My gentle way of talking? Haha.

EXO recently announced the news of EXO’s 11th-anniversary fan meeting. What would it look like if you were to compare EXO to family?

Children who were raised by a strict father but had an infinitely sweet mother? Maybe the stage is our dad. We work hard on stage until it feels like our bodies would break literally. But when we get off stage, we act like kids. Not one friend is rude, and everyone is so kind. When we talk to each other, ther's no difference from when we debuted 11 years ago or when we were trainees.

What are the three things Baekhyun is focusing on these days?

I'm into golf. Out on the golf field, my arms got so tanned, dark enough to leave a watch mark on my wrist. I feel very relieved when I go rounding and see the open space. The second one is the direction of the vocals. And for the third, I was going to say exercise but I'm going to change that. (Kim) Jong-kook, whom I became close with through workouts, said, "It's time for you to focus on your back." But hip workouts are too hard. Haha. The last one is EXO's comeback. We will return as soon as possible with a high-quality album this year.

Source

#Baekhyun #Exo #W Korea

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josiebelladonna · 7 months ago

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plus, when i really look at her words, there’s… something off about it all, like it feels scripted or something. she’s not actually speaking from the heart but rather to appeal to people. i hope i’m not the only one who feels this way, either.

“I’m an extremist” …jesus. really not the best time to admit that.

“I’m not a happy person but I do feel joy. I’ve been depressed most of my life.” so have i, but i didn’t grow up spoiled rotten. my parents struggled with demons despite doing what they could. my brother pretty much hates me at this point. what you’re feeling is called being alive and human. no one is entirely happy or entirely depressed unless there’s something wrong with them.

“I like it rough but also sweet and tender” i imagine most people do. that’s a pretty common thing. in fact, i like a *little* force. i’m grayer than you, and from my own research, sexuality is not black and white like you say it is, either (hence why everything she says feels incredibly off, just wrong, like i’m reading it wrong or something). but you wouldn’t give a fuck now would you?

“I enjoy sex” again, that’s a pretty common thing (that is, if you don’t grapple with shame). but seriously, i see way more women who are like this than women who are like me and are reluctant to share and explore their desires because it’s like ripping off a band-aid. but stop acting like you’re the only person who feels this way.

“I didn’t realize people didn’t know my sexuality” ??????? first off, people can’t read your mind, billie. the world does not revolve around you, ffs. and no one is outing you, either, NO ONE. someone asked you an innocuous question because that’s what the press does and you reacted the way you did because you’re neck deep in hollywood now. and second, this is a lot more obvious than you think. you express your sexuality through the way you dress, the way you act, the way you talk, everything, speaking as someone who grapples with this shit every goddamn day. stereotypes are stereotypes, but they’re there for a reason. one look at me and you can tell i’m not straight. you can set out to destroy the stigma from sex and sexuality, there’s still going to be people who don’t get it. i really don’t understand why you have to make such a huge deal about it all. besides, we have countless songs, records, and artists about sex and sexuality. i really don’t see how this is going to be any different or “revolutionary”, knowing how the way you talk feels like it came from somewhere else.

i could just chalk it up to immaturity but this is probably the biggest thing about her that annoys the fuck out of me: she is obnoxiously egotistical, and it seems to be getting worse with time. a little ego is good, healthy even, but when you’re walking around going like “I didn’t realize the world doesn’t revolve around me”, it makes me not want to touch your infected pussy with a ten foot pole. and the fact i smell plagiarism and this weird “cut and paste/copy of a copy” vibe from her recent interview just adds to it.

“well, why do you talk about someone you don’t like?” because that’s a part of the vast universe that is sexuality. someone talking about what they don’t like is interesting and gives you insight into them (that is if they keep it to a level). but fighting the dark side of life and wanting to be loved by everyone and being like “good vibes only” is not healthy, and the bubble is going to have to pop at some point. it definitely did on the green druidess. i make a big deal about it because everyone likes to give her a free pass for being racist, sexist, and most recently antisemitic, à la donald trump or someone like that, when other people would get reprimanded. i make a big deal about it because everyone is so quick to defend her, like you could say the most innocuous thing about why you don’t like her and it’s like dogpile on the rabbit, like how fucking dare i say these things and i get blocked left and right. hey, if your precious queen can say ~scandalous~ things, why can’t a rando like me? seems particularly hypocritical, doesn’t it?

so add “plagiarism” to the list of everything wrong with billie eilish now

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buckyownsmylife · 3 years ago

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Untangle Me - Logan Howlett smut

The one where once it becomes clear that Logan is your alpha, he’s the one left pining.

Warnings: a/b/o dynamics, smut, dirty talk, possessiveness, brief masturbation (f,m), use of the word whore in bed, reference to using the person for personal pleasure

Word count: 3.3k

A/N: thank you to my love @navybrat817 for looking this over for me. This is one of my favorite things I’ve ever written and it’s entirely self-indulgent.

Logan’s P.O.V.

“Hey, princess. You ready to train?” Her eyes caught mine when she turned around from the conversation she was having with Scott before I entered the gym, throwing me one of those smiles that were probably one of the only things in this entire world that could make me feel warm inside.

I’d been weary and mistrusting from the start, not used to dealing with any kind of softness directed towards me, but if there was one thing to learn about the woman in front of me, was that she never gave up.

It was just the way she was, always excited and sweet to anyone and everyone, like sleep and slumber didn’t even affect her when I woke up most mornings wanting to kill the world and she was standing in the kitchen, patiently preparing a pot of coffee to make my life easier.

And she never even expected a thank you or a recognition of any kind. She just smiled, sometimes winked, and got on with her day, instead of orbiting around me like most omegas tended to do when they first arrived at the academy.

That was enough to make me fascinated with her.

“Of course I’m ready! I was born ready!” A deep rumble of laughter filled my chest as I shook my head at her shenanigans. Maybe I should have been used to it by now, it’s been almost a month since she arrived, but it was becoming more and more obvious that I probably never would.

She just had that effect on me - an effect that was so strange and unusual that initially had made me angry, but now only served as a reminder that maybe good things could happen in my life. Especially since someone so nice thought I deserved it.

She followed me to one of the corners of the gym, talking and waving at everyone we encountered while I remained unbothered by their presence, until we were finally sort of alone in our little bubble and could stretch in peace.

“So… How did you sleep?” She was always making those kinds of questions, at first I thought it was an annoying way to break the silence, until I realized that she actually cared. And then, I couldn’t really find it in myself to be irritated by her inquiries anymore.

“I was a bit restless. I think my rut is coming,” I admitted, following her lead and stretching one of my legs despite never having actually done this before she asked me to train her. She just had this way of changing all of my little habits, I supposed.

“I figured.” At my raised eyebrow, she just shrugged, before continuing, “I heard you pacing. I thought about checking in on you, but I figured maybe it had already started…” and it wouldn’t be a good thing to get stuck in a bedroom with an Alpha during a rut. She didn’t have to finish, it was easily understandable.

“Shit, now I feel guilty for waking you up with my loud steps.” She shook her head enthusiastically at that, wanting to make it obvious that wasn’t the case at all. It helped with the guilt, but only to a certain degree.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“I was agitated myself. It had nothing to do with you, I don’t think I would have even noticed it if I hadn’t already been up.” He narrowed his eyes at my explanation, clearly confused and still not fully convinced that he hadn’t been responsible for keeping me up all night, so I decided to get out with it. “I think my heat is coming, too.”

At that, his eyebrows stop up, understanding written all over his face. But then, as quickly as it came, it was gone again, replaced by that seemingly permanent frown that seemed to be synonymous with the wolverine.

“That’s gonna be your first one, isn’t it? Ever since you got here, I mean.”

I nodded, exchanging legs while thinking about what else I could say. Obviously, society had evolved a long way since something as natural as heats and ruts were taboo, but especially between an unmated Alpha and an unmated Omega, it could be weird to talk about it.

It was a fine line between commenting on your instinctive problems and propositioning a beneficial arrangement to get us through the difficulties of the time. I didn’t want there to be any mistake about what was happening - there was no way I’d become just another Omega in a long list of remedies to get through a rut that Logan would simply use when in need.

I’d heard the stories. As amazing as he seemed to be in a time of desperate measures, I really couldn’t do that to myself. I wouldn’t.

“Yes, it will be,” I confirmed, hopefully giving a finality to my tone that didn’t allow further questioning. “Are you ready to beat my ass?” I joked, suddenly springing up and reaching out for his hand so I could help him do the same, even though I knew he didn’t need it. Still, he stretched his arm in the direction of mine, making me smile as I realized just how far we were from when we first met.

The second our skin came in contact, we both gasped and dropped our hands. It was like an electric current had run through the both of us, but where it came from, I didn’t know. Although an immediate possibility popped into my head, I didn’t want to consider it just yet.

“Sorry,” I sheepishly smiled, reaching out for him again. This time, I was prepared for when our limbs touched, so maybe that’s why I didn’t feel the shock. There was, however, a numbing feeling that lasted a few seconds, so it was easy to ignore. “Let’s just get this started, huh?”

Logan’s P.O.V.

The next 24 hours were pure torture, and an absolute mystery to me. I had no experience with feeling this way, how my hand kept reaching out to touch her, like I needed to verify that she was really there, feel her warmth beneath my fingertips.

Even weirder, she started to disappear for long stretches of time. Where usually she’d be right there, by my side, whenever possible, ever since she arrived, now I had to actively look for her so I could find her. And when I did, she was always wearing a frown on her face, like I’d somehow ruined her solo hide-and-seek plans.

The next day, I sought her in her room, knowing her heat was getting closer and I needed to confirm some activities Charles had asked the both of us to organize, but the second I opened the door, being greeted by the smell of her sweet wetness calling out to me, I completely lost the control of my body.

“What are you doing…” That was all she managed to get out before I was kissing her, my hands cradling her face as our lips moved in sync, her small hands circling my wrists like she intended to push me away, but forgot about it.

She tasted like apple pie and cider, something that reminded me of cold fall days when I could stay inside a warm cabin and not worry about anything. It felt like home, she felt like home, and soon enough, my hands were roaming her body, underneath the skirt of her dress, wherever I could touch her.

“You’re… You’re wet,” I noted after we parted, only abandoning her lips because I needed to catch a breath. And even though she was having just as much of a hard time getting air back into her lungs, she still managed to look pissed when she responded.

“Of course I am, genius.” I couldn’t really understand it. Why was she so mad at me? Why had there been this buzzing, this electric current running through my body for the last few days, that seemed to intensify whenever I was near her?

And then it hit me, right when she started to touch herself to release some of the tension that was obviously running through her body. “We’re true mates.” She rolled her eyes at me, taking a step back and pulling her dress off of her body, and my mouth instantly watered. When she took off her underwear and laid down on the bed, spreading her legs for my view, my knees buckled. I simply stood there, looking transfixed as she started to fuck herself right before my eyes.

“Took you long enough.” Her words broke me out of my reverie, even though they fell from her lips sounding more like a moan. Frowning, I couldn’t understand what she meant, until once again, it became clear to me.

“You knew it!” She rolled her eyes at my shock, but maybe it was because she had hit her sweet spot, as she continued to thrust her fingers in and out of her increasingly wet pussy. I couldn’t tell.

The sounds of her juices only made me feel even hotter, giving me a growing sensation of dizziness. My own arousal was starting to take over, my member hardening inside my pants as I struggled to concentrate on this very important topic.

“Of course I knew, Logan.” She finally stopped playing with herself, suddenly sitting up and although panting, her eyes shot daggers at me. It ignited my own irritation, making me look back at her with just as much fire.

“You knew and… You didn’t want me?” Regret and anxiety replaced the angry look on her face, and she turned her head to avoid sustaining my gaze as I struggled to get rid of my shirt, desperate to deal with the increasing heat inside my body.

“It’s not that easy.” I had to scoff at that.

“Oh, it isn’t? Then what is it, Y/N? What is so bad about me?” Her eyes met mine again, defiant, prideful. Even as irritation and insecurity threatened to get the best of me, I had to admire her beauty.

“I can’t do this, Logan,” she at last confessed, getting out of the bed while shaking her head. She turned her back to me, her arms crossed in front of her naked body. “I can’t let myself get close to you. You shouldn’t want me either. You don’t, actually. It’s just your genetics, telling you that you do.”

It took me a while to process what she said, initially because of how badly my cock was throbbing, but once I stuffed my hand inside my pants and squeezed my rapidly growing knot, I was finally able to focus on her words.

And it. Made. Me. Furious.

My hand over her nape, I pulled her so her body was glued to me, making sure she felt my exposed cock right against her lower back.

“There’s no way you’re that dumb, little girl.” It was the wrong thing to say - it wasn’t even true in the slightest, and despite being lost to the fires of rage and desire I could see how spilling that was stupid of me, but I was too far gone to care.

“Excuse me?” She roared, turning around to face me with fire in her eyes, making me grow exasperated.

“Oh, you know what I mean!” But she was on a roll now, a tiny finger poking my chest. She was so small by comparison, I could barely feel it, and it made my lips twitch up in amusement.

“You’re not the right Alpha for me, Logan.” The words provoked an instinctive growl to rise from the depths of my chest. Closing the distance between us, I forced her to turn around once more, holding her jaw as delicately as I could muster considering the anger inside of me to make her listen very carefully.

“But I’m your Alpha, so watch your fucking mouth.” The omega inside of her whimpered, no doubt impressed with the show of possessiveness and strength, and I had to feel smug about it. But once I let her go, the confession she revealed wiped that smugness right off my face.

“You don’t want puppies, Logan. You don’t want the same things I do. We can never work.” I felt like she had slapped me. I stared at the small creature who had so easily infiltrated my life, not quite believing what she’d told me.

“Is that what you think of me?” I questioned, and try as I might, I knew the hurt in my tone was perceptible. “You just assume it’s not something I want, yet you never even cared to ask. If it’s with you, of course I do.”

She was rendered speechless, if only for a moment. I relished that moment. It wasn’t always that I got to see that spitfire of a woman silent, with her mouth hanging open. Which is why the second I saw the frown reappear on her face, her mouth closing before opening again, I ordered, “Just… shut up,” and entwined our bodies together, connecting our lips for another breathtaking kiss.

“You want this,” I panted against her mouth when I was forced to pull back to catch my breath, fingers making quick work on the remainder of my clothes. “You need this.”

She huffed in my arms, making me think she wanted me to put some space between us. Much to my surprise, her arms ended up wrapped around my shoulders, all of her weight trying to bring me down to meet her lips once more.

“Shut up and fuck me, Logan.” A growl escaped my chest at the order, for once not feeling attacked by someone else’s attempt to control me, but actually instigated. The time it took me to respond to it, the little minx was able to detach herself from my body and lie on her bed once more, her hands immediately going back to what they were doing before.

“Keep those hands away from your pussy,” I commanded, climbing into bed with her and replacing her fingers with mine, toying with her little clit. “Only I get to touch it now.”

Her hips instinctively jerked up, searching for more of my calloused digits, making me groan as they slipped further down and found her dripping hole. She was so fucking wet.

“Soaked little pussy…” I muttered as I tapped it once then twice before pushing myself away just enough to wrap my wet hand around my member, bringing it to her opening and pushing in.

I hissed as I filled her inch by inch, her head falling back as she held tightly to my shoulders, trying to remain silent and unmoving as she adjusted to my thickness. “Better be prepared, omega,” I warned as I bottomed out, looking down at her daringly. “I’m the only one who’s gonna make you feel good from now on… What do you think of that?”

My hips started moving at an immediately punishing pace that I wasn’t able to control. A part of me really did want to punish her in some way, for keeping herself away, for not warning me about our connection before, but I was also taken by my own rut now.

Thankfully, the heat had prepared her enough so it didn’t hurt. I didn’t feel bad about asking, “Doesn’t this feel good?” as I pounded her viciously, determined to get her to cum once, twice, a thousand times for me.

“Y-yeah,” she managed to admit, looking more and more fucked out and out of it by the second. “Fuck, you’re so big.” I chuckled as I leaned over her to rub my jaw against her scent gland, wanting to drown her in my own essence. The fact that we were mates probably helped, she was literally made for me. And fuck, she was so wet.

Her juices seeped between our connected bodies, drenching the sheets underneath us in her smell. I couldn’t wait to bury myself in them later.

“You thought you could keep me away…” I murmured, eyes fixated on her face, completely immersed in her and our coupling, taking in her expression of bliss, her little moans and whimpers. “Next time you try to keep me away from this pussy, I’m gonna spank the shit out of your ass.”

The answering gasp she released as she came right before my eyes had me growling, incredibly surprised by this turn of events. “Oh, you want rough? Little princess likes it rough?”

I bent her body almost in half, putting her ankles over my shoulders as I rose up to my knees to fuck her harder. “Scream,” I ordered, holding the sides of her neck without really squeezing them, only to catch her attention. “I want them to know who’s fucking you this good. I want everyone to know that this is where you belong now, underneath me, getting impaled by my dick, creaming all over it.”

She clawed at my back as a scream did tear through her chest, her heat now fully ingrained, her first orgasm becoming a second, much more powerful one. “You thought you could run away from this,” I panted, the hurt of the situation still too recent for me to let go off. “You thought you could run from me, but you’re mine.”

Her whine of pleasure fed my hunger, and I fucked her even harder, desperate to find my own release now. “You’re mine. My personal whore. You’ll let me use you every night, won’t you?”

Her third orgasm brought on mine, a roar escaping me as I threw my head back and allowed myself to lose control if only for a second, if only to empty myself inside of her until she was filled with me.

But I didn’t claim her. I couldn’t. Not yet, not without her proper consent. I didn’t want her to resent me forever. If we were gonna do this - and God, did I want her to want me to do this - I’d need her to say it.

We laid there a while, catching our breaths, enjoying this little reprieve before both of our systems were begging us to give in to one another once more. I nuzzled her neck again, deciding it was time to let her know, “I want you to be my mate.”

I knew she technically knew this - my actions were pretty telling - but I wanted her to hear it from my lips. It was a show of vulnerability I wasn’t comfortable making, but I knew it was necessary, and I could only hope she would recognize how hard it was for me to do it and appreciate it.

“I want you to be my mate, so I can do this every night.” She looked alarmed, tense even, but I still had so much to say. “I’ll learn how to be romantic, I’ll be whatever you need me to be.”

She closed her mouth then, eyes finally softening as I felt her muscles relax underneath my fingertips. “You know I’ll take care of you.” I couldn’t help but smile when she immediately nodded, not for a second doubting my statement. “I’ll do anything for you.”

I felt her body completely melt against me and the bed, and I finally allowed myself to sigh, admitting the last words I’d been keeping in ever since it became clear that she was my mate.

“Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for you? Now that you’re here, I don’t want to be without you ever again.” What I got as a response was a short but sweet kiss.

“I’m sorry,” she quietly begged, eyelashes filled with unshed tears as she struggled to hold my gaze and my heart felt heavy. “I’m happy to be yours.” And for the first time in a long while I fell asleep with a smile on myself, feeling better than I’d ever felt before.

Want to see what their next day was like? Click here to read a drabble about their morning after!

#my fics #logan howlett smut #smut #logan howlett #wolverine smut #wolverine #logan howlett x reader #wolverine x reader #logan howlett reader #wolverine reader #alpha au #wolverine reader insert #logan howlett reader insert

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the-bau-quinjet · 4 years ago

Text

Seven Drinks

Bucky x f!reader

Summary: There's a reason Y/N has never had more than 3 drinks around the other avengers, and they're about to find out.

Warnings: depression, thoughts of suicide, panic attacks, angst (don't worry there's fluff too)

Word Count: 4322

a/n: This is inspired by that episode of Brooklyn 99 with 6 drink Amy (I adopted that concept!) and also Halsey's album Manic. :) I hope you like it. Anything in bold is a lyric from one of the songs on the album!

Please let me know if I messed up the trigger warning tags! I've never written anything like this before, so I just want to make sure I do it right.

Masterlist

"We're having a party tonight." Tony's announcement was met with the usual groans of annoyance at having to schmooze with the typical socialites that attended Tony's party. "You know, you are so ungrateful sometimes. here I am trying to throw you a party, and you're complaining!"

"Tony, we all appreciate the effort you go to, but- at least speaking for me- I don't like people." Y/N's response was effortless, swiftly calming Tony and explaining the reactions.

"That is why-" Tony stuttered when he actually registered the words you said. "That doesn't sound like you at all. And besides, this is a party for just us. It'll be more like team building, but without any pre-planned activities. No "smarmy, rich people" to deal with." He directed his last sentence at Bucky, Steve, and Sam.

The team actually seemed excited at the prospect, albeit skeptical of Tony's motivations.

Unsurprisingly, Nat worked up the courage to question him on it first, "what's the catch?"

"No catch. Just friends, food, and lots of alcohol." His grin quickly shifted into a smirk as the entire room turned to look at you.

You groaned slightly, not wanting all the attention. "Look, there is a reason I cap myself at 3 drinks." Holding up one finger, you started to explain, "One drink Y/N is barely any different from my sober self."

Wanda quickly cut you off, "not true! You get louder." She smirked, happy to have added that tidbit of information.

"Fine." With a laugh, you admitted she was right. "I might get the tiniest bit louder." You held up a second finger to continue your explanation, but were once again cut off.

"It's not a bad thing. It's just your happy, bubbly, and slightly louder than normal personality shining through!" Nat added, seeing an opportunity to tease you for being so positive all the time.

"Thanks Nat. Anyway," emphasizing the rudeness of being interrupted twice, you continued, "two drink Y/N is more touchy feely than normal. Not in a creepy way though!"

"I love two drink Y/N. She gives the best hugs!" Thor eagerly added to the conversation, glad to have dropped by when he did.

"Thanks Thor." With a small smile in his direction, you held up a third finger. "Three drink Y/N is the perfect amount of just past tipsy to have fun without doing anything extremely embarrassing. It makes the most sense to stop there." You finished her little speech with your typical smile and a resolute nod of your head.

"Seriously, you need to relax. Just let loose this one time!" Sam tried to encourage you. With the eyes of nearly every avenger set on you, your resolve didn't last very long.

"Fine! Maybe I'll have a fourth drink." You were met with cheers as you rose from your spot on the couch, trying to prepare for the night that was to come.

As soon as you stepped off the elevator, you had a drink in your hand. Clearly your friends were going to make sure you got a fourth drink. even Steve seemed excited when he saw you, although his golden boy personality didn't disappear completely.

"You sure about this? I don't want you to feel pressured!" Bucky nodded, weirdly enthusiastically, before adding, "Yeah doll, don't drink more than you want to."

"You two are too sweet. Sam's right, but don't tell him I said that." You winked at the two super soldiers, emphasizing the joke. "I should let myself relax sometimes. I'm in a safe place, with friends who won't let anything happen to me. What could a few more drinks really do?" You couldn't help but smile at how true that was. You were surrounded by people who care about you.

"Oh, so now it's a few more drinks? What are we talking here, six drink Y/N? Seven?" Bucky teased.

"You'll have to wait and see, Ducky." You teased right back, knowing how flustered he got at the pet name. Steve laughed at his friend as you walked away, ready for your second drink.

Before long, you had your fourth drink in your hand. It was slightly odd how literally everyone was staring at you, but your were three drink Y/N at the time, so you were drunk enough not to care.

You downed the fourth drink, unprepared for the consequences.

"So, Y/N... how do you feel?" Clint braved the waters, everyone eagerly awaiting your reaction.

"That is so nice of you to ask! I feel great! I don't think I've ever been this happy." You jumped up and down, hugging Clint with a huge smile on your face.

"How did you get even happier?" Tony chuckled, shaking his head slightly.

"Do you not like it?" Like a switch had been flipped, you were nearly crying.

"What?! No!" Tony was so taken aback at the tears pooling in your eyes, he froze, unsure how to fix it. He looked around the room for help, but everyone else was just as shocked as him.

"I'll fix it!" You were at the bar, fixing another drink before anyone fully comprehended your mood swing.

You walked back up to the group, sipping from your fifth drink as if nothing happened. "What?" You questioned the odd looks, but before receiving an answer you squealed, again jumping up and down. "Let's dance!" You turned around, ready to move to the more open area before looking back over your shoulder, "Wanda! Nat! Pepper! Come on!"

The women shared a look, ultimately shrugging before joining you on the makeshift dance floor.

"Bucky, you've been staring at her for 20 straight minutes. When are you finally gonna talk to her?" Steve couldn't help but pester him about his feelings.

"I can't help it. I've never seen her dance so much. I mean, I know she's always happy, but this is a whole new level." He didn't take his eyes off of you, even when he was responding. "I can't tell her tonight, though. This is the most she's had to drink in years."

He watched as you moved back over to the bar, needing another drink after dancing so much.

"Here we go, six drink Y/N." Bucky gestured to the bar. Steve shook his head, but allowed the change of topic.

About five minutes after your sixth drink, you were somehow bounding around with even more energy. You were nearly running around the room, trying to talk to everyone at once.

"Ducky! Have I ever told you I took gymnastics lessons for 7 years when I was younger?" You were bouncing with pent up energy, excited to be sharing more information about yourself.

"No, you've actually never mentioned that." He smiled, enraptured by your childlike enthusiasm, so enraptured that he didn't notice the mischief in your eyes.

"Well, I did! Watch this." You handed a confused Bucky your now empty glass, turning and throwing your arms up. Bucky realized two late what was happening, and with both yours and his glasses in his hands, he couldn't physically stop you.

"Y/N, wait!" His shout had everyone turn and look as you flawlessly executed two cartwheels in a row.

Bucky would swear your smile got even bigger as you turned around to look at him again.

"Normally I can do more, but" you hiccuped, then lowered your voice to a really terrible whisper, "I'm a little drunk." You leaned into him, laughing as if you just told a joke.

Wanda walked up to you with a seventh drink, hoping seven drink Y/N had a little less energy, but happy to see you having so much fun. "Here ya go! One more of your favorites, just like you asked."

"Thank youuuuuu!" You shifted to hug Wanda, leaving Bucky to miss your added warmth.

You sipped your seventh drink slower than the rest, quickly running out of energy. Sliding the empty glass across the bar, you slipped out of the party unnoticed, making your way to the kitchen for some pickles- your favorite drunk food.

Your seventh drink hit you just after you opened the pickles. Gone was the happy, bubbly persona you showed the world. The mask slipped away, leaving you alone to contemplate your life choices.

You made your way to to the lounge just outside of the kitchen, choosing to lay on the floor behind the couch and stare out of the large floor to ceiling windows.

"Where's Y/N?" Bucky glanced around the room, an uneasy feeling in his stomach.

"Huh? Oh, she said she wanted a snack." A very drunk Wanda turned to look at where the food was set up, scrunching her face in confusion when she couldn't find you. "Weird. Maybe she went to the bathroom?"

Bucky, having noticed your absence 8 minutes ago, didn't think you left for a bathroom break. "Maybe." Plus, you always took the girls to the bathroom with you. His eyes flitted about the room, taking one more glance before deciding to go look for you.

He decided to head for the kitchen since Wanda said you wanted a snack. He laughed at the open jar of pickles, knowing you at least passed through this room. He put the pickles away before popping his head into the lounge area.

"Y/N?" He called out, figuring this was the most likely location for you to end up.

You hummed in response, not moving from your spot on the floor. Bucky walked further into the room, slightly confused as to why he could hear you but not see you. That is, until he realized you were laying on the floor behind the couch.

"Why are you on the floor?" He smiled when he found you.

"I'm just looking at the sky." Your voice held a melancholy air as it floated through the room. Bucky's smile faltered, not used to hearing you sad. In the three years he's known you, he's only ever seen you sad because of a movie or tv show. Otherwise, you were quite literally always happy.

"Why-" he faltered, unsure how to check on you. "Is everything okay?" he nearly choked the words out, feeling slightly stressed at your sudden gloominess.

"Yeah." You took a deep breath, slowly letting it out in a deep sigh. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just... I don't know." You sigh again, still looking at the sky.

Bucky chances another question, wanting to get you talking since you're acting so off. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel... so sorry." You words were so soft that Bucky could barely hear them.

"Sorry?" He tried to hide his confusion, matching your soft tone as he sat down a few feet away from you. "About what doll?"

"Just... because I feel so sad." Tears pooled in your eyes, but you didn't stop staring at the sky.

"What are you sad about?" It's taking everything in him for Bucky not to hold you right now. He doesn't want to make you even more upset, especially because he's never seen you like this.

"No one around me knows who I am..." He watched as a tear rolled down your cheek, shining in the light from the moon.

Bucky moves closer, just close enough for him to reach out and hold your hand. You squeeze it, instant relief flooding through him that he hasn't crossed any boundaries.

He goes to speak, but you cut him off. "I'm not breaking. I won't take it. And I won't ever feel this way again." Your voice is harder, as if your angry with yourself.

"Hey, hey, hey. It's okay to have feelings. You're allowed to feel like this. Don't push it away. Talk to me. Why don't you think anyone knows who you are? We're all here for you, Y/N." He rubs his thumb over the back of your hand, trying to convey how serious he is.

You let out a dry laugh, wiping the the tears from your cheek. "My self preservation..." Bucky can tell there's more to, choosing to wait for you to continue. "All of my reservations..." You sigh again, sitting up, you scoot closer until you can lean your forehead against his shoulder. "I bottle it up. I'm my own biggest enemy." You let out another dry laugh, shaking your head without moving it from its resting place on Bucky's shoulder.

Bucky wraps his arm around you and leans his cheek against your head. "Take your time. You can talk to me." He whispered, trying to keep you talking without getting mad at yourself again.

"Well, I'd like to tell you that my sky is not blue, it's violent rain." The sounds of your sniffles break his heart. "I just pretend everything's fine because that's what I had to do when I was younger." Rather then interrupting, Bucky continues to rub small circles on your hand and your back, encouraging you to continue when you're ready. "Can I tell you a story? I... I think it'll help explain some of it."

"Of course. Anything you need, doll." He curses himself for the pet name, not wanting you to think he's joking. He just can't help it when it comes to you.

"Thank you, ducky." You chuckle, but your words are just as sincere as his. "You know I have two sisters, and I love them with all my heart, but sometimes growing up with them was hard. My older sister, she put so much pressure on herself to succeed. And, she did. She was so good at everything she did, that I felt like I had to be just as perfect.

With my younger sister, it was like it was effortless. She put just as much, if not more pressure on herself. but, she could do anything she tried to, with almost no learning curve. I always felt this crazy amount of pressure to be just as good.

My parents, they didn't really help with that. I mean, they were so supportive and I'm so grateful to them, but it was a lot of pressure. The summer between my junior and senior year of college, I wanted to get an internship. Ya know, to get some experience. It would set me up better for getting a job after graduation.

I spent months looking and applying, but nothing was working out. So, I went home for the summer. My mom would come home everyday and ask me if I got a job yet.

I spent nearly every waking hour looking for a job, even just a part time one for the summer. So one day, when we sat down for dinner and she asked if I got a job yet..."

Bucky could feel how tense you were telling this story, but he knew you needed to get it out.

"I told her, 'no, not yet' and she just seemed so disappointed. She asked if I was even applying and I snapped.

I yelled at her, something that had never really happened before. I told her I was trying. I was doing everything I could. She yelled at me for yelling and said it wasn't unreasonable to ask for updates.

I yelled right back. I kept saying I spend all day everyday trying and just when I finally get a break, she walks in and brings it all up again. I was stressed enough without her constant reminders.

I ended up running away from the table, in tears. I hid in the bathroom, there... there was a pair of scissors on the counter and I really thought about killing myself that day."

The tears are pouring out of you at this point. Bucky threw caution to the wind. He picked you up, maneuvering you to sit across his lap and lean your head on his chest. He kept rubbing circles into your back, murmuring words of encouragement.

"My younger sister tried to check on me, but I wouldn't open the door. My mom stomped down the hallway to her bedroom. I was full on having a panic attack in the hallway bathroom. I think I stayed in there for an hour before I went back to the dinner table.

My dad was in the kitchen. He put my plate in the microwave to heat up dinner for me. I ate through near constant tears, it only got worse every time he tried to ask me what happened. Why I snapped like that.

I wanted to apologize to my mom for yelling, so after I ate I went to her room. I knocked, and when she told me to come in I opened the door. I just remember her looking so angry.

I apologized. I told her I was sorry for yelling. She said something about not being unreasonable again. I cried again. When she asked what was wrong, I told her I was scared.

I couldn't put it into words though, so when she asked me 'of what?' I just shrugged. Then, she asked me if I was on my period.

God. I wanted to scream. I wanted to yell at her again, To make her understand 'I only wanna die some days. But if I decide to break, who will fill the empty space?' I decided that day that I would never try to tell anyone how I actually felt."

Bucky holds you as you cry. You're not sure how long it's been when you can finally breathe enough to talk again.

"I just, so many people have bigger problems then me. I grew up in a loving household. I went to college and made friends. I got a job after I graduated. So why am I so sad sometimes? I just wanna scream but what’s the use? At night, I lay awake and I stare at the door, I just can’t take it no more."

Bucky continues comforting you when he speaks again. "Just because other people have problems, doesn't mean yours are irrelevant. You are 100% allowed to feel however you feel, even if it seems like there's no reason for it. Have you ever thought about talking to someone about all of this? I know you just said you haven't told anyone how you actually feel for years, but I think it could help." He smiled nervously when you raised your head to look at him.

"I have actually. I joked about it a lot with my roommate right out of college. I always used to say 'everybody needs therapy' as a joke. Of course, I meant it. Most people probably do need therapy." You laughed, moving your arms around Bucky's neck to hug him. "Thank you for listening to me. I like talking to you."

Of course, Bucky noticed your smile didn't reach your eyes. He was confident in his words when he spoke again. "You can always talk to me. I'll always be there to listen." He followed that with a less confident "What's been bothering you today?"

"Oh, nothing that serious. It's just all pent up inside, ya know?" You smiled again, hiding your face so he couldn't see your lies.

Of course, he could still hear it in your voice. "Y/N, you can tell me. I want to be here for you."

"I... It's just, my insecurities are hurting me." You laughed at yourself. "Here we go with the fucking riddles, again. On the plus side, I think I've cried so much I'm back to one drink Y/N."

"Well, it has been 3 hours since I left to come find you." You were grateful for Bucky's joke, needing something to lift the mood a bit. "But, don't try and change the subject. I still want to know what's got you all sad." His words were light, but you knew how serious he was.

You took a deep breath, burying your head in his neck. "How could somebody ever love me?" You spoke into his shirt, not moving your head back even an inch.

"You know I can't understand you when you talk into my neck like that." Bucky tried joking, but even he knew it would do little to calm your fears.

You moved back, lips still grazing his skin when you repeated yourself, "how could somebody ever love me?"

Bucky wanted to scream. He wanted to tell you how much he loves you. He would gladly spend every day of his life loving you, but he didn't think this was the right time. Not when you just poured your heart out to him. So he settled for the almost truth.

"Anyone would be lucky to love you. You are selfless. You put everyone else first, no matter what. You always make sure everyone has a reason to smile, even when things aren't going right. You tell the best jokes. You're great at cuddling." He squeezes you closer to him, emphasizing the point. "You are beautiful, inside and out. Everyone who comes into contact with you automatically has a better day. You are incredibly strong and independent. I've never met anyone so incredibly good. Even Steve. Anyone would be lucky to be loved by you."

His words brought more tears to your eyes, pooling in the corners. "Then how come everyone that I’ve dated says they hate it cause they don’t know what to do with me? I feel broken."

"They were all idiots. You're not broken. Not even a little bit. You're learning how to express your feelings. You just need someone who would take it slow." He pressed a kiss to your forehead, struggling not to tell you everything.

"I wonder if you’d take it slow." Your eyes go wide when that slips out. You hadn't meant to make things uncomfortable. One look at Bucky's face has you freaking out. He looks stunned. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to say that. It just slipped out! Oh god, you've been there for me all night and I go and fuck it up by admitting I'm in love with you."

Your eyes grow even larger. You would move out of his lap, but his arms are still holding you in place. "Shit! Maybe I'm still drunk because apparently I have no filter." You say the last part more to yourself, but he can still hear you.

"Y/N?" Your name comes out of his mouth in a soft whisper.

"Yes?" You cringe internally at messing everything up.

"I would take it slow." He smiles, leaning his forehead against yours while he waits for you to absorb his words.

"Yeah?" You whisper back, a smile ghosting your lips.

"Yeah." You both lean in, exchanging soft, slow kisses and sleepy smiles.

The two of you ended up falling asleep leaning against the back of the couch. The sun streaming through the windows, combined with the noise of the other avengers in the kitchen, wakes you up.

You nudge Bucky, grinning when he pulls you closer.

"C'mon. Let's get some breakfast." He groans again, but eventually stands up.

The two of you walk into the nearly full kitchen, surprising everyone by coming from the lounge rather than the elevators. They share amused expressions, unaware of the emotional hurdles you jumped last night.

You head right for Sam, hugging him tightly before moving on to hug everyone else.

"I just wanted to thank you all. For encouraging me to live a little last night, but also for being there for me." Tears spring to your eyes again, shocking everyone but Bucky. "You're all like a family to me and I'm so glad I have you all to lean on." You made your way back to Bucky, leaning into his side while he poured both of you some cereal.

You smile when you look at him, kissing his cheek before sliding into the stool next to his.

As if broken out of a day dream, Sam sputters out a question. "What the hell did seven drink Y/N do last night?" Thrown off both by your behaviour with Bucky and the short emotional speech.

"Oh, seven drink Y/N is an emotional little bitch. I think I cried eight years of suppressed tears." You laughed, grinning at Bucky when he squeezed your hand. "Also, I think I need a therapist." Your casual admission has Tony spitting out his breakfast.

"What the hell happened last night after you disappeared from the party?" He guffaws, trying to put the pieces together.

"Also, why aren't you even a little bit hungover?" Nat chimed in, upset at missing out on seeing you anything but cheery.

"Well, to answer Nat first, I don't get hungover. Never have, even the one time I blackout out." You shrugged at everyone's slightly jealous expressions. "To answer Tony, I had an emotional breakthrough. Bucky helped me talk through it, something I never thought I'd be able to do. Long story short, i'm going to learn how to share my feelings instead of suppressing them all."

"Suppressing them? What are you talking about? I've literally never felt anything but happiness from you before?" Wanda questioned the new development.

"Well, that's because I'm really good at hiding how I feel. I'd rather not go through it all again, so just watch the security footage from the lounge last night, yeah? I want you all to know, even if it took seven drink Y/N to share it." You quickly finished eating, pulling Bucky to the doorway.

"While you do that, we're going out. Bye!" Before they could question anything else, you ran to the elevator, dragging a very willing Bucky behind you.

"We're going out?" He questioned when the elevator doors shut.

"Yep. Get dressed, I want to see all your favorite places in New York. Even if they're different now. Take me to all your favorite spots." You both smiled, sharing another soft kiss before parting to change for the day.

"Hey," Bucky called, causing you to turn over your shoulder, "I love you."

"I love you too."

#bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes one shot #tw: suicide #tw: depression #tw: panic attack

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blackstarising · 3 years ago

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coming back to this post i made again to elaborate - especially as the ted lasso fandom is discussing sam/rebecca and fandom racism in general. there are takes that are important to make that i had failed to previously, but there's also a growing amount of takes that i have to, As A Black Person™, respectfully disagree with.

tl;dr for the essay below sam being infantilized and the sam/rebecca relationship are not the same issue and discussing the former one doesn't mean excusing the latter. and we've reached the glen of the Dark Forest where we sit down and talk about fandom racism.

i should have elaborated this in my last post about sam/rebecca, but i didn't. i'll say it now - i personally don't support sam and rebecca getting together for real. i believe what people are saying is entirely correct, even though sam is an adult legally, he and rebecca are, at the very least, two wildly different stages of life. for americans, he's at the equivalent of being a junior in college. there are things he hasn't gotten the chance to experience and there are areas he needs to grow in. when i was younger, i didn't understand the significance of these age gaps, i just thought it would be fine if it was legal, but as someone who is now a little older than sam in universe, i understand fully. we can't downplay this. whether or not you think sam works for rebecca or not, even despite the gender inversion of the Older Man Younger Woman trope, whether or not he is a legal adult, i don't think at this point in time, their relationship would work. i think it's an interesting narrative device, but i don't want to see it play out in reality.

that being said!

what's worrying me is that two discussions are being conflated here that shouldn't be. sam having agency and being a little more grown™ than he's perceived to be does not suddenly make his relationship with rebecca justified. i had decided to bring it up because sam was being brought into the spotlight again and i was starting to realizing that his infantilization was more common than i felt comfortable with.

sam's infantilization (and i will continue to call it that), is a microaggression. it's is in the range of microaggressions that i would categorize as 'fandom overcompensation'. we have a prominent character of color that exhibits traits that aren't stereotypical, and we don't want to appear racist or stereotypical, so we lean hard in the other direction. they're not aggressive, they're a Sweet Baby, they're not world weary, they're now a little naive. they're not cold and distant, they're so nice and sweet that there's no one that wouldn't want approach them, and yeah, on their face, these new traits are a departure and, on their face, they seem they look really good.

but at a certain point, it reaches an inflection point, and, like the aftertaste of a diet coke, that alleged sweetness veers into something a lot less sweet. it veers into a lack of agency for the character. it veers into an innocence that appears to indicate that the person can't even take care of themselves. it veers into a one-dimensional characterization that doesn't allow for any depth or negative emotion.

it's not kind anymore. it's not a nice departure from negative stereotypes. it's not compensating for anything.

it's patronizing.

it is important that we emphasize that characters of color are more than the toxic stereotypes we lay on them, yes, but we make a mistake in thinking that the solution is overcorrection. for one thing, people of color can usually tell. don't get it twisted, it's actually pretty obvious. for another, it just shifts from one dimension to another. people of color are still supposed to be Only One Character Trait while white people can contain multitudes. ted, who is pretty much as pollyanna as they come, can be at once innocent and naive and deep and troubled and funny and scared. jamie can be a prick and sexy and also lonely and also a victim of abuse. sam, however, even though he was bullied (by jamie, no less), is thousands of miles away from home, and has led a protest on his team, is usually just characterized as human sunshine with much less acknowledgement of any other traits beyond that.

and that's why i cringe when fandom calls sam a Sweet Baby Boy without any sense of irony. is that all we're taking away? after all this time? even for a comedy, sam has received a substantive of screen time over two whole seasons, and we've seen a range of emotions from him. so as a black person it's hurtful that it's boiled down to Sweet Baby Boy.

that's the problem. we need to subvert stereotypes, but more importantly, we need to understand that people of color are not props, or pieces of cardboard for their white counterparts. they are full and actualized and have agency in their own right and they can have other emotions than Angry and Mean or Sweet and Bubbly without any nuance between the two. i think the show actually does a relatively good job of giving sam depth (relatively, always room for improvement, mind you), especially holding it in tension with his youth, but the fandom, i worry, does not.

it's the same reason why finn from star wars started out as the next male protagonist in the sequel trilogy but by the third movie was just running around yelling for REY!! it's the same reason why when people make Phase 4 Is the Phase For Therapy gifsets for the mcu and show wanda maximoff, loki, and bucky barnes crying and being sad but purposefully exclude sam wilson who had an entire show to tell us how difficult his life is, because people find out if pee oh sees are also complex, they'll tell the church.

and the reason why i picked up on this very early on is because i am an organic, certified fresh, 100% homegrown, non-gmo, a little ashy, indigenous sub saharan African black person. the ghanaian tribes i'm descended from have told me so, my black ass parents have told me so, and the nurses at the hospital in [insert asian country here] that started freaking out about how curly my hair was as my mother was mid pushing me out told me so!

and this stuff has real life implications. listen: being patronized as a black person sucks. do you know how many times i was patted on the back for doing quite honestly, the bare minimum in school? do you know how many times i was told how 'well spoken' or 'eloquent' i was because i just happen to have a white accent or use three syllable words? do you know how many times i've been cooed over by white women who couldn't get over how sweet i was just because i wasn't confrontational or rude like they wrongly expected me to be?

that's why they're called microaggressions. it's not a cross on your lawn or having the n-word spat in your face, but it cuts you down little by little until you're completely drained.

so that's the nuance. that's the subversion. the overcompensation is not a good thing. and people of color (and i suspect, even white people) have picked up on, in general, the different ways fandom treats sam and dani and even nate. what all of these discussions are converging on is fandom racism, which is not the diet form of racism, but another place for racism to reveal itself. and yeah, it's uncomfortable. it can seem out of left field. you may want to defend yourself. you may want to explain it away. but let me tap the sign on the proverbial bus:

if you are a white person, or a person of color who is not part of that racial group, even, you do not get to decide what is not racist for someone. full stop. there are no exceptions. there is no exit clause for you. there is no 'but, actually-'. that right wasn't even yours to cede or waive.

(it's also important to note that people of color also have the right to disagree on whether something is racist, but that doesn't necessarily negate the racism - it just means there's more to discuss and they can still leave with different interpretations)

people don't just whip out accusations of racism like a blue eyes white dragon in a yu-gi-oh duel. it's not fun for us. it's not something we like to do to muzzle people we don't want to engage with. and we're not concerned with making someone feel bad or ashamed. we're exposing something painful that we have to live with and, even worse, process literally everything we experience through. we can't turn it off. we can't be 'less sensitive' or 'less nitpicky'. we are literally the primary resources, we are the proverbial wikipedia articles with 3,000 sources when it comes to racism. who else would know more than us?

what 2020 has shown us very clearly is that racism is systemic. it's not always a bunch of Evil White Men rubbing their hands together in a dark room wondering how they're going to use the 'n-word' today. it's systemic. it's the way you call that one neighborhood 'sketchy'. it's how you use 'ratchet' and 'ghetto' when describing something bad. it's how you implicitly the assume the intelligence of your friend of color. it's the way you turned up your nose and your friend's food and bullied them for it in middle school but go to restaurants run by white people who have 'uplifted' it with inauthentic ingredients. it's telling someone how Well Spoken and Eloquent they are even though you've both gone to the same schools and work at the same workplace. it's the way you look down at some people of color for having a different body type than you because they've been redlined to neighborhoods where certain foods and resources are inaccessible, and yet mock up the racial features that appeal to you either through makeup or plastic surgery.

it's how when a person of color behaves badly, they're irredeemable, but a white person performing the same act or something similar is 'having a bad day' or 'isn't normally like this' or 'has room to grow' and we can't 'wait for their redemption arc', and yes, i'm not going to cover it in detail in this post but yes this is very much about nate. other people have also brought up the nuances in his arc and compared them to other white characters so i won't do it here.

these behaviors and reactions aren't planned. they aren't orchestrated. they're quite literally unconscious because they've been lovingly baked into western society for centuries. you can't wake up and be rid of it. whether you intended it or not, it can still be racist.

and it's actually quite hurtful and unfair to imply that concerns about racism in the TL fandom are unfounded or lacking any depth or simply meant to be sensational because you simply don't agree with it. i wish it was different, but it doesn't work that way. i'm not raising this up to 'call out' or shame people, but i'm adding to this discussion because, through how we talk about sam, and even dani and nate, i'm yet again seeing a pattern that has shortchanged people of color and made them feel unwelcome in fandom for far too long.

coach beard said it best: we need to do better.

#ted lasso #sam obisanya #ted lasso spoilers #fandom racism

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wordsfromthesol · 3 years ago

Text

Hunted

Author: @wordsfromthesol Taglist: togasbetch malfoys-demigod pricetagofficial Pairing: Dick Grayson x Reader Summary: You're a detective at Bludhaven PD with Dick Grayson and when a serial killer your after starts hunting you down, you have no choice but to ask for his help. Warnings: Kidnapping, stalking Word Count: 2.3k

You had been working at Bludhaven PD for about 2 years before the hotshot Dick Grayson came on the scene. Though you had grown into friends or at least friendly coworkers…he annoyed the shit out of you. After all, everything seemed to come so easy to the pretty boy Grayson and you could count the number of times you had actually seen him at the station on one hand. Thankfully this happened to be one of those times because you had run out of options.

"Dick, can I get your eyes on this case? I'm been staring at these files for hours and can't find the pattern. Yeah, they've obviously got a type. But that's not enough to go on."

Dick briefly runs through the file before staring blankly up at you. "You can't be serious, right? You need to take yourself off this case."

"People are dying, Dick." You had already assumed you would get some pushback from the star detective.

"I can't let you go after this guy. You're an exact match to all 5 people they've killed." Dick attempted to reason with you, to no avail.

"Then I'm the exact person who should go after this guy. Rather it be me than some civilian." Finally, Dick relented and gave you some useful information.

"Well…everyone was taken near an abandoned subway line." He takes out a highlighter and marks up the map. You tried to mask your nervousness as the bright yellow line stopped a block from your apartment.

"Thanks…I didn't even notice that." He nodded, still apprehensive about giving you the information, as he handed the file back to you. Tucking the papers away, you decided to finish up the research at home.

As you sauntered home, you were barely able to keep your eyes open. Stopping at the crosswalk, you noticed a man staring at you in your peripheral vision. You swore he was the same man from five blocks ago. Surely you were just paranoid…right? You began weaving in and out of the crowd, making a complete circle back to the crosswalk. Yet there he was in the corner of your eye. This wasn't paranoia. This was real. You pulled your phone out of your pocket and pressed Dick's contact card.

"Hey, uhm…remember that case we were talking about today?"

"You mean literally 20 minutes ago? Yeah, I remember."

A nervous chuckle escaped your lips, "Well you were probably right." Dick could hear the shakiness in your voice.

"He's following you, isn't he?"

Your current situation momentarily left your mind as the words tumbled out of your mouth, bypassing the brain. "How the fuck could you possibly know that?!"

"Don't go home. I'm coming to get you." You wanted to plead with him to stay on the line, but your stubbornness got the best of you. Slowing your pace, you attempted to stay in the crowd and walked straight. How was Dick even going to find you? As soon as the thought danced across your mind, there he was, as if you summoned him from thin air.

"Y/N!" The familiar voice called out from the street. A deep sigh of relief flooded over you as you trotted over to him. Crawling on the back of the motorcycle, you didn't bother asking where he was taking you. Anywhere was better than here.

"Wow. Just wow." Dick shook his head in awe as he climbed off the bike, ushering you into the apartment building.

"It's not like I planned it." You tried to force the uneasiness from your voice.

"Right, of course not. You realize he had to have been following you for days now, right? He knows where you live. You can't go back there." You hadn't really thought about that, yet where were you supposed to go? You looked at him pensively, unable to form a proper sentence. "Looks like you're staying here then." The alacrity of the statement caught you off guard.

"I can't just --"

"Right right. So let's go antagonize the serial killer. Genius." The sheer amount of sarcasm took you aback, this was a completely different side of the infamous Dick Grayson than you were used to.

You glared at him as he opened the door to his apartment. "So dramatic…besides, someone has to stop him. He's already after me, so I'm the perfect bait."

Dick's eyes went wide. He looked at you like you had three heads before bellowing, "ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT!"

"Do you have a better plan?" Part of you hoped he would begin rattling off some convoluted trap. One that didn't hold your life in the balance.

"Well…not yet. But I'm sure we can think of something. Give me a few days."

A few days came and went and you were losing your mind in Dick's apartment. The worst part was, you were never alone. Dick or one of his family members was always by your side. You weren't quite sure how some 14-year-old kid was supposed to do anything if said serial killer showed up, but Dick was insistent.

Finally, you caught a break. Jason, your latest babysitter got called away on some emergency and Dick wouldn’t be home for another hour. Of course, Jason informed you to tell Dick he left just moments ago, which actually worked in your favor. You dialed Captain Holt on your phone and began to strategize. The captain wasn't keen on using you for bait either, but eventually, you swayed him. Everything was planned to take place tomorrow afternoon, a time Dick just so happened to be testifying in court.

"Y/N?" The confusion spread across Dick's face as he opened the door.

"I'm here!" You called out from the bedroom before stepping into sight.

"Where's Jason?"

"Oh, family emergency. But he left like two minutes ago. Nothing to worry about."

"Okay…" Dick didn't sound convinced.

"I also got a call from the captain today. He wants to meet with me tomorrow at 2." You tried to play it off as a casual request, but you knew it wouldn't be that simple.

"What? Why? We still haven't caught the psychopath…plus I have court tomorrow."

"Dick, I'll be in a police station. You can drop me off on your way."

Dick let out an exasperated sigh, "Fine. But I don't like it."

You were absolutely terrified, but you tried your best not to let it show through. After all, you asked for this. Dick still seemed uneasy, even as he dropped you off at the precinct. You wondered if he could tell something was wrong. Though there wasn't much he could do at this point, considering he was due in court by noon.

"Y/N. Are you sure about this?" Captain Holt questioned as you walked into his office.

"No. But something needs to be done. This guy doesn't just give up. So either I'm bait and we have a chance at catching him, or I die a horrific death for no reason. Not the best of options."

Holt nodded in understanding, "Well everything is set up. We have snipers in position around the perimeter of your apartment and a dozen plain-clothed in the vicinity."

"So hopefully we have a chance. What about near the abandoned subway entrance? That's how Dick thinks he's staying out of sight."

"Covered. We are ready to go on your command. Though I still think Detective Grayson should be informed of the plan."

"He's in court. So he couldn't help out anyways. The fewer people that know, the better. Let's move."

You arrived at your apartment without any issues, though you could feel a million pairs of eyes on you. With everyone watching you, it would be hard to notice one more face. Nevertheless, you persisted, attempting to go about your day in your apartment. The apartment that now seemed so foreign to you, though you had only been unexpectedly ripped from it a week ago.

As the day went on you began to feel more and more lightheaded. Normally, you would chalk it up to stress, but given the situation, you decided otherwise.

"Captain…"

"There is still no sign of him," he ignored the strain in your voice.

"I think…he's already…here." A crashing sound was left ringing through the earpiece.

"I want everyone on her position now! Get me a visual!" Captain Holt's booming voice commanded those around him. "Where are my snipers?!" An eerie silence crept over the line. "Shit." He mumbled before pulling out his phone. The dial tone appeared to mock him until finally the other end picked up.

"What happened?" The stringent words reverberated in the air.

"He has her."

"Goddammit. How did he get her out of the precinct?" Dick didn't wait for an answer. "Because she wasn't in the precinct. How could you let her be bait? You've seen what this guy does!" The anger was bubbling up inside him. Out of everyone, why you. Why did he have to go after you?

"I know."

"How long? HOW LONG HAS HE HAD HER?!" Two cops turned towards Captain Holt as Dick's voice echoed from the speaker.

"About a minute. From her apartment." As soon as the word left his lips, the line went dead. Holt buried his head in his hands. If there was any hope of finding her, it was Dick Grayson.

You woke up in a cold, dark, concrete room. "Well, guess that didn't work out as planned…" You mumbled to yourself, or so you thought.

"Really? You thought a bunch of cops in blue jeans could stop me? I've been hunting you for months. Along with the others. But you. You were my challenge. I memorized everything about you. Your favorite breakfast, your confidants, what time you call your family. Lovely little folks, by the way. And then you thought you could hideaway in that pathetic little Richard Grayson's apartment. The only reason I didn't take you then is because I didn't want to. What kind of challenge would that be? That would have diminished everything!" He carefully stepped around your chair, weaving your hair in and out of his fingers, until he turned to face you. "But now, here you are! My masterpiece! My coup d'etat!" His lips forced their way to yours. "Don't worry, my sweet. I'll take my time with you. After all, the grand finale demands perfection!" The crazed man turned on his heel and sauntered out of the room, leaving you with your own horrific thoughts.

It felt like hours had gone by before he returned. When he walked in, his eyes went immediately to your wrists and fingernails, which were now bloodied beyond recognition. "Now I wish you hadn't done that. Blood does not make for a spectacular fossilization." He walked around and surveyed the damage. "I guess it was to be expected though. After all, it wouldn't be fun without the challenge."

"You know, you keep saying that this is some big challenge, yet you gassed me and then tied me up. That doesn't seem like you are really challenging yourself."

"Simple-minded fool! Challenges are not always those of brute force. It took planning and timing to get you here. Those 4 snipers set up on the surrounding roofs? Had to get them out of the way. A delay in your communication device? Truly a necessity. And though you had the foresight to add a few men to the abandoned subway tunnel, they neglected to surveil the associated maintenance hatches. So you see, your perfect encapsulation proves to be quite the…" You noticed a slight furrow of his brow as the sentence broke. "Challenge. Now to finish preparing the resin!" Off he galloped, but you swore something was off. A slight change in his mood.

You heard several loud bangs before your captor fell backward through the door. Nightwing loomed over his grisly body. Then his eyes shot up towards you.

"I'm okay." The words were forced from your throat. With those two small words, Nightwing glared down towards the man and began throwing punch after punch. "STOP! Please!" You screamed out the words, shocked at the vigilante's ferocity. Nightwing's eyes slowly shifted towards you. It was as if a twinge of pain ran its way through his body as he crept towards you. Once close enough, his hands carefully cradled your face until finally, he spoke.

"I don't know what I would have done without you. Why did you do something so stupid?" You could tell he wanted to say the words out of anger, yet a euphoric aura surrounded them instead.

Still confused, you began to answer as he unbound your wrists and ankles. "He wasn't going to give up. This was our chance to catch him…"

"I would've found another way!" The words burst out of him louder than expected. Nightwing let out a sigh as he helped you out of the chair.

"Alright, Dick, I'm sorry." You glanced at him for a reaction...nothing. Worried he didn't hear you, you pushed the point further. "Guess I should be glad you weren't in court long."

Dick stopped in his tracks, finally realizing his mistake. "I…uh…left early." As the two of you got outside, there were a dozen cop cars already swarming the area. Two of the officers came up to meet you.

"Detective! Are you alright? What happened?!" The first began to raddle off questions, but Dick quickly deflected.

"You can find out later. I'm taking her to the hospital. Your man is inside, unconscious."

"I can still talk ya'know…" You mumbled as the officer ran off to inform the others of the new information.

"Yeah, but then you'd try to convince me not to take you to the hospital. And that's not going to happen. But don't worry, the captain is on his way there now. You'll get to regale the entire course of events with him."

It was almost scary how well he knew you. "You'll stay too?" The simple question caused an oversize grin to spread across his face, but all he did was simply nod.

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itsallyscorner · 4 years ago

Note

hey love ❤️ i hope you’re doing good and healthy but i was wondering if you could do a little mix!reader after she gave birth to tom and her’s child. maybe when the girls meet their niece or nephew

💌

The World’s Greatest Aunties

Pairing: Tom Holland x fem!reader, Little Mix x fem!reader

Summary: The girls finally get to meet Baby Holland for the first time.

Warnings: none, spelling errors?

A/n: Hey darling! Thank you so much for the request, I’m so sorry that it took so long. I took a small break from writing Tom fics and writing in general because I needed to recharge the author part of my brain😭😂 I was lacking motivation to write but I’m back now! Thank you again for the request and I hope you like it!💞

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

(Pinterest)

✧───── ･｡ﾟ★: *. ☽.* :★. ─────✧

Five pairs of eyes peered over the bassinet, a twinkle of admiration in each one. The house was quiet except for the low hums of the music that played softly in the living room. Occasionally, they would hear the light clicks and taps of Tessa’s nails against the floors. The five of them were quiet, letting out a little coo here and there when the tiny bundle in the bassinet fidgeted.

“I can’t believe you actually made a baby.” Leigh-Anne whispered, cautiously steadying her voice at a quieter tone. You all nodded, agreeing to her comment.

You glance at Tom, who was stood beside you, “We weren’t even planning on having a baby. Someone’s pull-out game was just very weak.”

Tom’s mouth gaped at your statement, a false offended look on his features. “Well, you weren’t complaining while it was happening.”

“Did you really think I’d be in the right headspace to realize how bad your pull-out game was after being railed to the bed?” You quizzed him, standing up straight and placing your hands on your hips.

Jesy’s eyes shifted between you and Tom, “Are you two really talking about how irresponsible you guys are at sex in front of the baby you both made—because of irresponsible sex?”

“But isn’t she the cutest outcome of irresponsible sex?” Perrie cooed, leaning closer to the opening of the bassinet. Tom smirks at you before slinging his arm around your shoulder, “We made a beautiful baby, didn’t we?”

“Don’t flatter yourself Thomas, I’m sure Amelia’s 90 percent (Y/n) and 10 percent you.” Jesy comments, earning her some chuckles from the rest of you except for Tom. Though they’ve know each other for years, and he’s proved himself worthy of you, that still didn’t stop Jesy from giving him a hard time. Of course, all the petty arguments were all in good fun. He’s been slowly growing on her anyway.

“Well she’s definitely got (y/n)’s lips.” Leigh-Anne observed, admiring the sweet baby from above. You leaned your head on Tom’s shoulder as you watched Amelia scrunch her tiny nose.

“But her nose, without a doubt, is Tom’s.” You point out, watching your baby snuggle into her blanket.

“Honestly, you know how some babies are just not cute when they’re first born?” Jade began, voice remaining in a whisper. A few sounds of agreement were heard amongst you all. “Amelia’s probably one of the most cutest newborns I’ve ever seen, and she’s only a few weeks old.”

Tom’s lips morph into a soft smile as he leans back down towards Amelia, “She’s gorgeous isn’t she?” His large hand creeping closer to his daughter to brush his fingers along her chubby cheeks. Though the contact of his cold digits made her jolt, causing a sob to bubble out her small body. Tom gasped, turning around to give you an apologetic look. Before the girls arrived, you had put Amelia down for a nap so she wouldn’t be fussy once the girls were over. You were planning on waiting till she woke up to properly introduce her to the girls, but things don’t always go as planned, do they?

“Oh no!” Perrie cried, moving out the way so Tom can gather Amelia into his arms. Tom held her against his chest, shushing her and slightly bouncing his body to ease her wailing.

“I’m so sorry, sunshine. Daddy didn’t mean to wake you.” He apologized, genuinely feeling bad for waking her up from her nap. He whispered comforting words into her ear, not phased by the fact that she couldn’t even understand him yet. He pressed kisses on the crown of Amelia’s head, trying to calm her down.

“Look at that, she even got your vocals too.” Jesy hummed, smiling at the crying baby against Tom’s chest. You laughed, stretching your hands out towards Tom. Just by the gesture, he knew what you meant. The two of you have only been parents for almost a month now and every single day it seemed like you were both picking up new habits—specifically parental ones. It was like the start of your relationship again, you were leaning new things about each other, but this time as parents.

“Aww, c’mere darling, momma’s got you.” You cooed as Tom helped you place her against your chest. Her tiny head was snuggled into the crook of your neck, the warmth coming from your skin soothing her. You had a hand under her bum while the other was rubbing circles onto her back. Slowly, her cries softened until they were replaced by her cute baby gurgles.

“Are you crying?” Perrie asked. You turned around to see who the question was directed to. Only to find Jesy wiping her eyes and fanning them with her hands. She shook her head trying to brush off Perrie’s question.

“Babe,” you called out to her, “Why are you crying?”

You body gently swayed side to side, trying to entertain Amelia. You all looked at Jesy, an amused yet concerned expression on all your faces. When she felt like her tears weren’t about to spill from her eyes, she tilted her head to look at you again.

“I’m just—you’re an actual mother. Like look at you, you’re so grown up.” She sniffed, eyes watering up again. Jesy and the rest of the girls were just a few years older than you. Being the youngest of the group, they’ve always been protective of you and viewed you as their younger sister. They watched you grow up into an amazing woman, watched you fall in love with Tom, and now here you were—as a mother. The sight was quite emotional.

“Aw Jess.” You walk closer to her, using one of your arms to embrace her. Jesy chokes on her laugh, “No! Don’t hug me, you’re gonna make me cry even more.”

You ignore her protests and continue to wrap your arm around her neck. Jesy allows the hug to happen, wrapping both her arms around your waist.

“It’s okay, I cried a few times too.” Tom tells her comfortingly, handing her a tissue from over your shoulder. She takes it, thanking him quietly, and dabbing her eyes. You hear some more sniffles around the room. Breaking your hug with Jesy, you look around to see Perrie, Jade, and Leigh-Anne with glossy eyes.

“Guys...” You sigh.

“It just sunk in that you’re a mum now. Like you need to take care of another human being and help them become a person and all that.” Jade summed up, blinking away tears. Tom took it upon himself to wordlessly pass around tissues to the four women in the room.

Leigh-Anne came up behind you to move your hair over your shoulders, “You’re gonna teach her so many lessons about life. You’re gonna be the first person she’ll always look up to and her first best friend—I’m so excited for you.”

“I have life lessons too, ya know.” Tom interjected, slightly raising his hand. Jesy glances at him and scoffs, “You have the body of a twelve year old and you cry in movies for a living. What could you possibly learn from that?”

“I don’t cry in all my movies.” He defended himself.

You move your head to look at Tom, “Darling, you’ve literally cried in four out of the five Marvel movies you’ve been in. That speaks volumes.”

Jade’s eyes shifted between Jesy and Tom, “I thought we were having a sentimental moment, how did we go from that to hating on Tom.”

“Because, he’s Tom.”

Tom crossed his arms, squinting at you all, “You know, I thought having Amelia would make you guys like me more—but no, I just can’t catch a break from you lot.”

A joyful sound emitted from Amelia, catching everyone’s attention. The girls cooed and awed at the new member of their little family.

“Oh hello precious!” Perrie squealed leaning down beside you so she can see Amelia’s face. Your baby’s eyes were wide as she stared at the faces crowding above her.

“D’you guys wanna hold her?” The girls eagerly nod, bodies filling with excitement. You handed Amelia to Jesy, showing her how to properly hold your newborn baby. With her new niece’s head resting against her shoulder, she feels her heart swell with joy.

“Oh my, she’s lovely.” She whispered softly, her hand cradling Amelia’s head. She ducks her head to get a closer look at her face, chuckling when she sees the combination of you and Tom on Amelia’s features. Jesy catches a whiff of the newborn baby smell radiating off of her—you know, that light weight baby powder-ish smell?

“And she smells so good!” Jesy announced enthusiastically. Perrie frowns, “I wanna smell the baby.”

“Too bad, you can’t.” Jade teases, poking fun at Perrie’s inability to smell. Jesy passes Amelia to Perrie, who makes grabby hands at her before wrapping her arms around Amelia’s tiny form.

“I’m so sorry for exposing you to the media.” She tells the baby, a chorus of laughter following her apology. Perrie gently pokes Amelia’s cheeks with her finger, “Your cheeks! I just want to squish ‘em and smother you with kisses!”

“I think you’ve had enough time with the baby, my turn!” Leigh-Anne jokes, holding her hands out for Amelia. Perrie carefully hands her to Leigh-Anne, who instantly melts once she holds Amelia against her.

“I want one now.” She whines.

“Ask Andre, I’m sure he’ll give you one in no time.” You wink at her, gesturing to the ring on her left hand. You honestly wouldn’t be surprised if she became pregnant anytime soon. Leigh-Anne took her time holding Amelia, basking in the cloud of baby fever she was currently experiencing. Your daughter was then passed onto Jade, who was thrilled to show her niece all the gifts she had bought her.

You all watched as Jade ventured towards the couch, kindly asking Tom to fetch the large bag that was at your entrance alongside the piles of packages from your family and friends. Ever since you and Tom brought Amelia home, there has been a never ending amount of gifts being delivered to your home. The items ranged from clothes, toys, to diapers, and baby bottles. Your house was practically filled to the brim with baby supplies.

Jade settles on the couch; adjusting Amelia so she can cradle her with her arm and using her free hand to pull out gifts from the bag. You and the rest of the girls sit around her, while Tom looked over the couch behind you.

“You guys really didn’t have to get us anything, just being here and letting us share this moment with you is enough for me.” You expressed, Tom agreeing with you. Jade simply brushed you off, “Oh hush up, let us spoil Amelia. She’s going to be the sixth member of our band, so we need to make sure she’s got the best clothes to look like her mummy and aunties.”

Jade proceeds to pull out a bunch of Disney themed items out from the bag. “Oh you’re gonna love this, I found a bunch off onesies that were princess themed—look!” Jade held up the hanger of multiple Disney onesies for your daughter. “Look Amelia, there’s one for every princess!” You couldn’t help but let out a laugh when Jade began to show every item she bought for Amelia.

Your and Tom’s jaws dropped when she pulled out a Minnie Mouse headband made for babies.

“That is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, lemme see.” Tom held his hand out towards Jade who handed him the headband. You watched adoringly as Tom inspected the headband, looking at it with fascination. He caught your stare and proudly held up the head band, “Baby, we’ve gotta take her to Disney.”

“Oh, we definitely are, don’t worry.” You assure him, making him proudly fist the air. Without any of you noticing, Jesy slipped out the room to get the gift bag she left out at the entrance.

“I’ve got something too!” She sang entering the living room. She sat back on the couch, Jade passing Amelia to her once she was comfortable.

“Alright, ya ready precious?” Jesy asked Amelia, who grabbed at the bag with her hands. Jesy took her hands in hers and helped Amelia ‘take out’ the tissue paper from the bag.

“Since I know your parents are two of the biggest Harry Potter nerds, I decided to get you this because I know they’ll flip.” She explained before pulling out a baby Hogwarts costume.

“Jesy!” You gasped, leaning in to get a closer look at the clothes.

“They have Harry Potter merch for babies?” Tom exclaimed, rushing to stand behind Jesy’s part of the couch. He began to ramble, asking her where she bought the clothes and if there were more.

Jesy held her hand out to stop Tom from talking, “Wait, wait—WAIT, Jesus Thomas, you’re more excited for these clothes than your daughter.”

Tom shrugged, “Well she can’t express any feelings yet, so I’ll do it.”

“Here.” She passed the costume to him making him cheer. “The costume came with another thing actually.” Jesy took out a baby Hogwarts robe, making you gasp again.

“It comes with the robes too?” You asked in disbelief.

“Yeah, it was an entire set!” Jesy proudly answered. Tom ran his hand along the robe, touching the soft fabric. He let out a squeal, “I love it!”

“Tom darling, the clothes are for Amelia, not you.” Perrie teasingly reminded him. Tom brushes off her comment, “(Y/n), we could all dress up as Hogwarts students for Halloween! We could match costumes!” Tom was practically buzzing with excitement, not allowing you to give him a response.

“Thank you Jesy, it’s nice to know that you have a soft spot for me.” He bumped his fist against her shoulder, which she glared at.

“I don’t have a soft spot for you, twit.”

“Yes you do, you knew I liked Harry Potter.” He held up the Hogwarts costume, “And you got Amelia a baby Hogwarts costume. You went out of your way to give us this gift. It’s enough proof, Jes.”

“I got it for (Y/n).” Jesy argued.

Tom crossed his arms, “Just admit that you like me.”

“No, you’re a menace.” You all watched the exchange between the two. A goofy grin was on his face as he spread his arms out, “I’m gonna hug you now.” Before Jesy can respond, Tom had wrapped his arms around Jesy. She groaned, squirming in his grip.

“Thank you Jesy!” He sang, taking the piss out of annoying her. She smacked his arm, “I get it. Now get off, I’m holding your child!”

Tom lets go with a smile on his face.

“She likes me.” He mouthed to you, motioning to Jesy. You shook your head at him, chuckling.

The girls continued to give Amelia their gifts. Perrie got her a bunch of classic children’s books and some toys. Leigh-Anne had given you a diaper bag and a “mommy and me” set of clothes. You were instantly obsessed with the matching sets, now you and your baby girl can have matching outfits. The night was full of the girls passing Amelia around and playing with her. She hadn’t cried for a single second, happy with the attention she was getting and constantly being held. There was no doubt that she would sleep soundly tonight, much to your and Tom’s content.

You watched as the girls circled around Amelia in the living room. Perrie was currently holding her, talking about how she couldn’t wait to spoil her with all the cutest baby clothes and toys. You overheard them talking about all the things they wanted to teach her; like how to sing. A smile had crept its way onto your lips without you noticing. Suddenly a pair of arms wrap around your waist.

Tom presses a kiss onto your shoulder and rests his chin on it, “You know she’s the luckiest baby in the world? And I’m not just saying that because she’s our child, but she’s really lucky. We’re very lucky.”

“We are, aren’t we?” You hum, leaning your weight against his chest, something he happily welcomes.

“She’s got two amazing parents. That’s us.” He squeezes you and continues his list, “She has grandparents who already love her, a bunch of protective uncles, and the world’s greatest aunties in her corner.” He finished, gesturing to the women in the living room. Yeah, you guys were lucky.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

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strawberrymilkgeorge · 4 years ago

Text

Part Five. "You guys gossip about boys without me?"

warnings: swearing, mentions of emotional abusive/manipulation word count: 3.2k (not including pictures)

behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

Y/n dropped her phone on the bed and slowly rolled off and onto the ground with a soft THUD. She grunted, falling harder than she expected but the dull pain now present in her right shoulder felt deserved somehow. Why did she think she deserved it? Maybe because she was an unconfrontational worm even when the person needed to be confronted because he hurt her more than anyone ever had.

She closed her eyes and wiggled to get comfortable on the thin carpet in her room. Laying on the ground was relaxing to her, forcing her gamer back to straighten to how it was intended. It helped her think, being on the floor. She didn't know why but she didn't question it. Just laid on the floor in acceptance with the dirt and forgotten candy wrappers.

Why didn't she want to respond to Peter? Well, years of being with him and even the months of not being with him had taught her that her ex liked to get his way and liked to take his anger out in her verbally when he didn't.

You could say she's heard some terrible things over very simple inconveniences.

Y/n slowly pattered to her desk and slid on her headphones, finding the discord server Dream said he and George were on. It was a server that a lot of their friends were in, one that Y/n hardly went in since she still hadn't met a lot of them and wasn't super comfortable with talking in it yet.

She scrolled through the various text chats, one for boredom, one for stream questions, one for memes, one for pictures of pets, one for.... discussing the inevitable takeover of rats...? Y/n wasn't sure what that was about but she knew she didn't want to find out. The list went on. She was pretty sure they had made a channel for every possible message someone could ever send.

There were equally as many voice channels, most of them titled with the names of different games for when they only played with each other and didn't stream. Some of them were just random names and she noticed there was one to match the rat takeover text channel. Okay, who was responsible for that?

After what felt like an entire scavenger hunt and with many new questions in her mind, Y/n finally found the voice channel Dream and George were in and clicked on it. It was called memerz-only.

"I'm not a memer, am I allowed in here?" she asked. She hadn't realized how messed up her voice was since she hadn't talked all day.

"Holy shit, Bug, you sound awful."

She scoffed a laugh. "Thanks, Dream. Really means a lot." She did sound pretty scuffed. Her voice was a little scratchy from not talking literally all day.

"You doing okay, Bugsy?" George asked kindly, to which she hummed.

“I just have one quick question...”

“Mhm?”

“This is simple, please don’t elaborate further. There’s a channel on this server... did you guys mean rat as in BadBoyHalo’s dog or rats as in rats?”

Neither of them spoke for a minute before George understood what she was referring to. “Oh! Rats as in rats.”

“Okay, thank you.”

“Yeah, Quackity—“

“No!” she interupted. “No! I said I don’t wanna know. I really don’t. I’m too afraid to understand.”

“Wha- HA, okay.”

“Good choice, Bugsy. I wish I didn’t know what it’s about. It’s a lot weirder than you’d think.”

“Now that that’s settled,” Dream said with a laugh. “How are you doing, Bug?”

"Neither of you are streaming, right?" she asked, doubling checking the twitch app on her phone to be sure.

"No."

"So I don't have to pretend to be happy and bubbly?"

"No, you can be as mundane as you'd like," Dream said. "We don't mind."

"Yeah, honestly, most of the time when Dream and I are on calls alone it's just us being super boring and hardly talking."

"That's..." she paused to find the right words and decided with, "actually really cute. You guys just enjoy each other's presence."

George scoffed and Dream giggled. "See, even Bug says we're cute, Georgie! Why can you tell me you love me?"

"I'll leave right now if you don't stop," George threatened. "Can we go back to how Bugsy's miserable?"

"I'm not miserable, I just..." she hesitated. She had already told George about why she was having a bad day, but Dream?

She didn't want to tell Karl because she knew he would yell at her. She didn't want to tell Sapnap because she didn't trust him not to tell everyone (on accident, of course). For some reason, it was a different kind of hesitation than with the others that made her not want to tell Dream. She didn't want to tell him because she didn't want to be... embarrassed? Maybe that was it. She thought it would be embarrassing to tell Dream about how her ex-boyfriend treated her like shit and how now he wants to get back together with her. Plus, she knew how everyone else individually would react but Dream was a complete mystery. Maybe he'd yell at her too and say she's stupid for being affected by an ex. Maybe he'd break down crying for some reason? Who knows?

"You don't have to tell us," Dream stated. "Seriously."

"It's embarrassing," she said, tucking her feet beneath her on her seat. As she said the words, she decided they felt right. She was embarrassed. "But George already knows."

Above everyone else, Y/n was okay with telling George about her situation because he and her tended to talk about their troublesome relationships quite often. He always came to her for advice and she to him. They were very similar in their ways of thinking and seemed to have lots of similar dating stories, even if neither of them knew what the hell they were doing. She knew he'd never judge her for thinking unclearly since he tended to do the same.

George hummed, not knowing what to say since she hadn't said much. She could tell he didn't wanna say something that might make Dream more nosey and start hounding her about telling him.

"What hap—never mind. Not my business," Dream said quickly.

"No, I mean, I kinda wanted to talk to George about it again anyway so I guess you can join in on the gossip." Guess my mouth decided for me on this one, she thought.

"Wait, what? You guys gossip about boys without me?"

"Oh my gosh, don't say it like that, Dream," George groaned. "Bugsy and I talk about relationship problems a lot, yes. Not just boys."

"How did I not know this?"

"Because you don't know a lot of things?"

"It's normally George sending screenshots of text conversations with girls and asking me how to let them down gently," Y/n explained with a giggle.

"Or Y/n talking about her asshole ex."

"George! What do you and Karl not get about not calling him names?"

"I'm so lost," Dream mumbled.

Y/n sighed. "Okay, well," she cut herself off with a groan. "It's so embarrassing. Basically, my ex asked me to 'chat' this morning which is code for he wants to get back together—"

"Do you know that for sure?" Dream asked.

"Yeah, we already decided that," George snapped. "Let her finish."

"Sorry."

"So he wants to get back together and I feel stupid for wanting to listen to what he has to say."

"How is that embarrassing?"

"Because he hurt me and I feel like an idiot because him even suggesting that means he doesn't realize how badly he hurt me. It makes me feel like, I don't know, like all the time I spent being upset was for nothing," Y/n explained in a soft voice. "And because his simple, like, five word text made me freak out all day to the point of exhaustion."

"I don't think you should be embarrassed, Bugsy," George offered.

"Have either of you, uh, have you ever considered dating an ex?"

"Didn't you just say he hurt you badly?" Dream asked. "You aren't thinking of getting back with him, are you?"

"No... but I want to stay friends so maybe I should hear him out?"

"Well, I've never gotten back with an ex," he said bluntly. "But to be fair, all my relationships have ended badly or for bad reasons so I've never wanted to see any of them again. Staying friends depends on why you and he broke up, I guess, but..."

"Um, how do I put this..." she trailed off. "He was mean to me."

"Then no? Simple."

"But I've forgiven him and I think he's changed."

"People don't change that easily. Didn't you break up like, a few months ago?" George asked.

"Yeah, but—"

"Honestly I think if a guy was ever mean to you he doesn't deserve any more of your attention," Dream decided. "So, no. Don't even be his friend. Don't listen to a single thing he has to say."

"That's what I told her," George agreed.

"If that were the case, you guys shouldn't be friends," she argued. "You're mean to each other all the time."

"But we know it's a joke," George defended.

"So you're saying if someone is ever purposefully mean to you just once, you drop them forever?"

"Well, no," Dream said. "Not exactly. But it sounds like he was super mean to you since it's why you broke up."

She took a deep breath. She didn't want to go into detail. She was already uncomfortable enough talking about her personal life so much, but she trusted both of them and needed to get it off her chest and they were there and willing to listen. They had already established wanting to listen to her if she wanted to speak and right now, she wanted to speak. Maybe not the full story, but at least some. "He, um, well, the mean things he said, he said because he was trying to get me to see what he thought was the truth about myself."

Both of them were silent for a few moments. "I'm still confused," George admitted.

"Me too... But you don't have to tell us." Dream explained again. She thought it was sweet that they kept reassuring her that.

"I know, but I want to. If it's not too much for you guys..."

"No, go ahead, if you want."

"Uh, he lowkey emotionally manipulated me by telling me I wasn't good enough for anyone and stuff and how he was the only one who could ever love me. The second part he said truly believing that he was being romantic. There are a lot worse and specific things engraved in my brain but that's the gist of what he would tell me. He made me believe that I could never leave him because I could never be loved by anyone else. But he said it all in a way that... he thought he was just... letting me in on something no one else had the guts to tell me."

George gasped. "What?! Bugsy, I'm so sorry, I didn't know it was like that."

"Woah, what the hell? No. Absolutely not. Don't give this guy a second thought. Cut him off for good," Dream said sternly, angry that anyone would say that to anyone, especially to someone like Y/n. "Wait, so, you broke up with him?"

"Yeah. After Karl yelled at me a lot and explained his outside point of view, I finally realized Peter was gaslighting me and emotionally abusing me and stuff so I dumped him. I guess right now I'm just upset by it because I thought we were past this and I was healing and him reaching out affected me again. I'm just emotionally exhausted. Like I said, it hurts to know that he doesn't realize what he did to me."

"I'm really sorry, Bug," Dream said softly. "Gimme his address and I'll punch him for you."

She laughed through her nose. "That's okay. Thanks."

"Yeah, she can go set his house on fire if she wants. She's proven that already."

"Shut up, George," she said with a small laugh.

"Wh......at?" Dream stuttered and George briefly explained.

"Well, Bug, just so you know, in case you weren't aware, you're really cool and sweet and funny and we really like having you around–" Dream started.

"Oh, ugh, no don't do this," she tried to joke but he ignored her as he continued his speech.

"–and you're way too good to be hanging out with either of us, and whatever that asshole was showing you wasn't love. 'No one could love you like he did' because what he was doing was not love, it was abuse." Dream's voice had a certain gentleness to it as he spoke that comforted Y/n and made her believe him. He was blunt but it didn't stab her in the heart like it should have.

If Y/n ever cried, she might have just then from how sweet they were both being. But she didn't because that wasn't something she did. She never cried over anything Peter said, never cried during movies, and didn't cry then. But she did smile very fondly at the Discord screen in front of her.

"Thank you, Dream."

"You know I'm not good with words, but, yeah, what Dream said," George said. "I'm sorry you had to go through that thinking it was normal. Please, please, do not get back together with him and please don't be friends with him."

"He's fine as a friend though."

"Bug. Whether he's fine as a friend doesn't matter, he doesn't deserve to have you as a friend. He treated you like shit, it's okay to be a little cold to him."

She sighed. They were right. "Okay." There was a long pause before, "thanks, guys. Sorry for coming in here and dumping my problems on you—"

"Don't be sorry," George said. "We're the ones that asked you to come in and share. We knew what we signed up for and don't regret it."

"Seriously, Bug, we care about you. You're allowed to, you know, talk about yourself." How did he know that's what she meant by that sentence? The way he could read her mind was heart-warming.

"Also, George knows this but Dream, there's a strict no-telling policy about this kinda thing. Please don't tell anyone."

"I wouldn't even think of it," he promised. "My lips are sealed."

"Good."

A soft animal noise came from one of their mics and Y/n strained her ears to listen. "Was that a cat?"

"Patches has entered the chat," George joked.

Dream chuckled. "Yeah, my cat just jumped on my lap."

"Aw, you have a cat? Lemme see lemme see lemme see!" Y/n begged. "Partly because I would love if we could stop talking about my ex-boyfriend and the other part because I love cats."

"There's pictures of her in the pets channel on Discord—"

"No, no I want a picture of her on your lap. Is she all snuggled up?"

"Yeah, she is."

"PleASE, Dream. I need to see the snuggly cat."

"Fine, fine, if you insist. Give me a second."

A few moments later, she got a DM from Dream and smiled at the picture. His room was dark but the computer screen cast a cold glow over a ball of fur on a lap clad in sweatpants. "Awww, she's so cute."

"Dream, I wanna see it too," George whined. "Send it to the pets channel."

"I'm literally making this my lock screen," Y/n informed, making Dream laugh.

"No, George, it's only for Bug. She's had a bad day so she gets exclusive Patches content."

"What? That is so messed up."

"You know what's messed up, George?" Dream asked. "You never come to me with advice on how to reject girls. We're on the phone for 12 hours a day but you can't talk to me about girls? Do you know how that makes me feel?"

"You'll just make fun of me."

"Why would I? What makes you think that?"

"Because Sapnap and I make fun of you? So obviously you and him would make fun of me?" George said with a laugh.

"....that's fair."

Y/n locked her phone and clicked the home button to admire her new lock screen. "I love her," she whispered.

Dream and George both laughed. "I'm regretting sending you that. You're gonna, like, make a shrine or something."

"What would be wrong with that? She's precious. She deserves a shrine."

"Yeah, Dream, you're the one that feeds her gormet cooked food," George teased with a laugh. "You probably have a shrine."

"That's normal! That's what people feed their cats! That's completely normal!"

"I don't," George countered.

"Then what do you feed your cat?" Dream asked.

"I dunno, normal cat food?"

"Wait! You have a cat too??" Y/n asked. "I feel like we're missing a huge detail and it's that George never told me he had a cat."

"And a dog."

"WHAT? GEORGE! Send me pictures!!!!!"

"I can't right now, it's like three am. They're sleeping. Look in the pets channel."

"You're the worst," she grumbled, clicking and scrolling to find his pets. She saw a lot of cute pictures of other peoples pets along the way but couldn't find George's.

"Hey, do your animals have English accents?" Dream asked, making Y/n laugh.

"What?" George scoffed. "You're so stupid."

"How would that even sound?" Y/n asked.

"Like..." Dream thought, preparing to test out how it would hypothetically sound. "Meow," Dream meowed in his best accent, failing miserable.

"Oh gosh, never do that again," Y/n begged.

Dream laughed into his mic. "That was disgusting. George, I really hope your pets don't have accents."

"They're animals, so probably not. And if they did, it definitely wouldn't sound like whatever that was."

"Oh come on–"

"OH I FOUND THEM." Y/n announced as she found a message from George in the pets channel with the message 'heard we're sharing our pets'. "GEORGE. THEY'RE SO CUTE."

"Are you gonna make them your background picture now?" George asked.

"What, no way! It's Patches!" Dream scoffed.

"Yeah, I'll make George's pets my home screen. Oh, what a good day." As soon as she said it, a metal bowling ball fell to her stomach, reminding her of all the reasons it was, in fact, not a good day.

She got off after a while, feeling the weight of a particular idiot man's stupid simple text catch up with her again. She thanked Dream and George for letting her join, they invited her to always hang out with them, and she went on her way.

Y/n fell on her bed and curled up under the covers as her mind started to wander from Peter to Dream. She was really glad she met him. He was a really good person and he was always so incredibly kind to her. George and Sapnap and Karl were all great friends, so caring and understanding and always looking out for her, but Dream was different and she didn't know why.

Maybe it was because he seemed untouchable still, like he had no reason to hang out around someone like her. But he wasn't untouchable in the celebrity was since he had a large following, because all of her friends did and they didn't seem untouchable. Then what was it? What set him apart from, say, Karl? She trusted Karl with her life and had known him for quite a while. She knew Dream for maybe a few weeks and almost trusted him the same amount.

Why?

She picked her phone up off the bed and pulled up Twitter, deciding to DM Dream since he was already existing in her mind rent-free. Might as well make him pay his rent by bothering him.

*********

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A/N: EEEEEEEE I hope that all made sense lmaaoooo basically yn ex = gaarrbbaaagggeeeee and ruined her self-worth a lot!! not poggers!!!!!! THANK U GUYS FOR BEING SO SWEET ALL THE TIME ALL FOR ALL THE POSITIVE FEEDBACK ON ALL THE CHAPTERS!!! I love seeing you guys make predictions and tell me how aljkDFB chapters make you feel bc same :/

taglist: OPEN (at the time) @hydrate-tion @loraleiix @tinaswagbd @charsdummb @smileyyuta @1ghoste1 @cerberus-hellhound @gaysludge @queestionmark @carnations-red @letsloveimagines @the-fictionwriters-hairdo @boiled-onionrings @a-cryptic @fee-btheweeb @letsloveimagines @erwinss @just-a-stan @axths @kayleigh2703 @furiouspockettoad @sometimeseverythingsucks @powerpuffyn @itshaileyn @millavalntyne @automaticcomputerpaper @nikkineeky @fivedicksinatrenchcoat @sprucekot @jabby16 @mae-musicbitch @hungoverhellhound @dreamyteam @kuroo-icedtea @stuffforreferences @menacingaesthetic @sapphic-soot @fangeekkk

#rpf #real person fiction #dream x reader #dreamwastaken x reader #dream x y/n #dreamwastaken x y/n #mcty x reader #mcyt x y/n #clay x reader #dream smau #dreamwastaken smau #smau #social media fic #dream social media fic #social media au

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