#like I’m not gonna rate them bc implying that they can get less than a 10 is insane

[starlooove]

KITANA MOURNFUL SKIN

[ubemango]

delicacies of the season (m)

part 3: days apart

note: hey!! What’s up!! first, I officially have named this series!! it’s right up there for ur viewing glory! ok anyway here’s something before I disappear for the next four weeks because I am drowning in school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also just a side thingie for this story: I’ve already established that oc isn’t on birth control but here I’m implying that they’re doing natural planning (i.e. fertility awareness where the person who menstruates keeps up with their cycle and thus only has sex when their cycles allows for it). PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS UNLESS YOU KNOW THE RISKS!!!!!!!! Oh Lord putting your impregnation chances up to God?! I couldn’t do it. But also this is fanfiction and nothing bad will happen to this couple so let’s all just... suspend disbelief for a second ok

PAIRING. taehyung/reader GENRE. romance, farmer au RATED. M WORD COUNT. 2.5k WARNINGS. kitchen sex, unprotected sex, dirty talk, a good ol’ creampie bc wot is the ubemango experience without one :/ SUMMARY. Taehyung missed you.

Auntie Gaeul comes over when the rooster crows to tell you to check out the passion fruits today. They’re ripe not because she’s seen them but because she just knows. Call it the Elder Instinct for Ripened Foods. You tell her you’ll give her half the harvest, and she swats at you before she leaves.

“Stop being so polite, I’m not that old,” she spits in jest. “And make some of that honey iced tea your grandma makes. If there’s extra, then I’ll have some.”

Taehyung would probably like some, too; he chugs down anything with passion fruit like he’s about to go into hibernation. And when you come back home from the fields with a basket-full perched heavy on your back, you resolve to make some tea right away to bring over to his house to see if he’s there. You haven’t seen him in five days—his cousin had the stomach flu, and his aunt needed the extra help with tending to the livestock. Being the eldest nephew (and the only one who can drive a motorcycle) had him obligated right from the get-go.

“Grandma! Can you show me where you put the honey jars, I can’t remember where they are. And can you help me peel these—um. You’re not Grandma,” you stop.

Taehyung looks up from where he’s perched on the stairs of your awning, flicking bits of strawberries to the ground for Danbi to eat. Your little puppy scrounges it up so fast she nearly falls over on her fluffy bum.

“I told her to go play bingo with the rest of the granny crew, someone’s betting chicken feet,” he says. You smile wide when he trods over to you for a short kiss, slipping the strap of the basket off your shoulder to put on his. The hand he keeps low on your back is as warm as the ten AM sun. “Hi. I missed you.”

“I was just gonna go see if you were home,” you say. He smells like the wind. Something you’d scrunch your nose at but he makes it work. “When d’you come back? How’s Daeshim now?”

“An hour ago. And he’s better. He ate up all your ice cream, only thing he could keep down.”

You frown. “Poor baby.”

“I know. You gonna clean these now?” He nods his head toward the water basin, carved rock he’d installed for you on your third anniversary.

“Yeah. Can you start? I’ll just wash up quick,” you offer. Suddenly you’re aware you’ve got an ugly shirt with oil stains and holes in random places—nothing Taehyung minds, but the occasion probably deserves better.

“Got it, boss,” Taehyung says. He slaps your ass before you run to the bathroom. A familiar signal of his intentions but he’s too polite to bring it up so quickly.

“Hey!”

“Hurry up,” he calls. As if you’re going to take another five days to get back to him but you get it. You missed him, too; a little more than you’d like to let on. Your grandma is great company but she watches her TV too loud and she hates when you’re not there to sit with her because she might need your help switching channels. It’s a miracle you didn’t jump Taehyung the second your eyes landed on him.

You change into whatever shirt you’ve tossed on the floor that looks semi-presentable. It’s too early for your sweat to reek like it does under the afternoon heat, but you spritz some perfume on your neck anyway. Just for upkeep, because you’d be lying if you said you weren’t anticipating sex, a sloppy makeout session at the least. Danbi’s too hyper to be left alone, plus your grandma likes making surprise visits at your house because she’s a forgetful woman.

By the time you’ve come back from scrubbing the dirt and dead ant bits caked under your nails, Taehyung’s a third of the way through the basket, tossing the clean passion fruit into a bucket Danbi is trying so hard to climb into. She yelps when her fat paws slip at the edges.

“Danbi! Mama’s gonna be mad if you get hurt. I’ll give you some later.”

“Go play with your toy,” you call out to her. “Danbi! Go!”

Her ears perk up at your command, and she pants and pants till she decides to go in the complete opposite direction of the ball and into the patch where all the potatoes are. She hasn’t hit her teething phase so you’re safe from her snuffing anything out with her mouth. It’s her fur you worry about. She’s such a nice shade of white amongst the semi-wet dirt, it almost hurts seeing her get soiled.

“Like a little cotton ball,” Taehyung says. He points to the bucket. “This good?”

You nod—it’s enough to have extra for Auntie Gaeul. “Yeah. Wanna carry it to the kitchen like a good man?”

“As if I’m not one already,” he snorts, grabbing the handle. “Danbi, come!”

This is how it always goes. Taehyung ogles from over your shoulder (usually he’s off to the side but he’s a lot clingier, not that you mind) while you do your business because you don’t trust him with a knife. Not since the time you’d tasked him with chopping garlic and he’d nearly sliced his palm open when he tried crushing them first.

And now you’ve got a new addition to the routine: Danbi sniffs around the dried leaves for the fire, sneezing when she breathes the ash in too hard. You hear her collar jiggle as she explores the earthenware stacked on the side. You made sure Taehyung left the door open because she gets antsy fast.

“Can I just say that I have a thing for seeing you use a knife,” Taehyung says, hands stroking your tummy because he’s got nothing better to do.

“You’re really bad at hiding how turned on you are.”

“Who said I was trying to hide?”

You laugh. “What are you trying to get at, mister?”

“I’m saying I missed you,” he says simply.

“So that’s why you kicked Grandma out the house,” you tease. Taehyung splutters in your ear.

“No! They really are betting chicken feet. What do you think I am?”

“Horny.”

“Ugh.”

You turn your focus back to the chopping board. Taehyung lets the sound of the knife smooth down the goop of the insides fill the space.

“...Are you mad if I am?” He whispers tentatively.

“Oh my god. It’s ten in the morning.”

“You think my dick cares?”

“You think I care?” you joke.

Taehyung gasps. Like his heart just shattered from your vitriol, but all you want is to finish cutting up these damn fruits before you’ll allow his hands to touch you. “Wow. You—? Okay, fine.”

“Wha—”

“I appreciate your hard work,” he coos. He wraps himself around you even tighter, traces a slow kiss on your neck. “Really. But don’t pretend you didn’t miss me too.”

“I never said I didn’t.”

“You’ve got a fucking mouth on you.”

And that gets you to shut up. Taehyung only swears when he wants you to stop talking. Not for the sake of real anger but to show you he’s got something brewing, and you’re here to take whatever it is he’s about to give you.

“I just wanted to be a good fiance and visit the one I love the most after five days because I missed them so much.”

His teeth catch the lobe of your ear. Biting down softly because he’s still aware you’ve got the knife in your hand, but you’ve lost all motor skills the second he started his little bit. You drop the handle slowly. At the last second you push all the shit you’ve laid out on the counter to the farthest corner. Something tells you this space is being defiled this morning.

“Good. Are you wet?”

“N-No.”

“Then we’ll have to do something about that, huh.”

You watch his hands glide up, and you’re half-expecting him to fondle you gently, the way he teases you when you think he’s taking it slow. But instead he goes right for the kill: using those long fingers to pinch right at your tits just to get you to gasp into the feeling. You roll your eyes shut, let your head fall back on his shoulder.

“You like that?”

“Mhm,” you whine.

“Take your shirt off for me.”

You’ve never exposed yourself to kitchen utensils and rice wine on the pantry shelves before but Taehyung makes you want it. He shows his appreciation for your compliance with another hard grope of his hands, this time with his mouth sucking on your neck too. Craving your skin like he’s been absolutely deprived. The calluses on his fingertips rub your nipples raw.

“You smell good,” he croons. “Come here.”

You nearly tip over from how fast he spins you around, but he catches you easy, tongue on yours in the next second. The desperate tug of his lips on yours, the smack of your spit when he pulls you in deeper, all the intricacies of needing someone else to save your own sanity—it culminates here, and now your ass is up on the cold of the counter, Taehyung pulling back from one last kiss to drag that same heat down your body.

“Please let me eat you out here, holy shit.” He tugs at your pants, slides your underwear down with it. Mouthing hungry at your mound because you haven’t answered him yet, so you just groan a quick please, yes and he doesn’t even look at you before he presses his tongue inside you.

Somewhere in the back of your mind, the guilt of ruining this space with your (embarrassingly) uncontrolled libido is raging. But you could care less with the way Taehyung swipes his tongue around your clit, gets you clawing at his hair for brief respite. You’ve most definitely exceeded wet boundaries. His chin practically shines.

And he knows it’s because of him. Not just from his mouth but the knowledge that he wants you trembling towards a heady orgasm, the kind that consumes you whole. His laving gets bolder with every stroke, every moan you try to keep stifled but it’s useless. “Taehyung. Oh my g-od, fuck—no d-don’t use your fingers, I’ll come.”

He laughs, adjusts your thighs so you’re not cramping. “Think you’ll tap out?”

“I wanna come on your dick,” you pants.

“Oh my god,” he groans. “You’re perfect. Oh my god. I’m so fucking hard. Can I come inside you?”

“Yes yes yes yes, just get inside me already.”

Taehyung’s foot gets caught on his pants when he shoves them off, nearly crashing face first into your pussy again. And he laughs and you snort and when he’s naked waist-down he kisses you again, a little slower this time, a breather for just a moment.

“I know it’s only been five days but I missed you. A lot.”

You trap his hips with locked ankles on his back. “I know.”

“It’s just—I had to shovel so much horse shit—”

“Oh don’t say that!” You bat at his chest.

Taehyung snickers. “Sorry. Ahh, I don’t know what to do with myself.”

“You can stick your dick inside me and we can go from there,” you suggest.

“I like the way you think, missus.”

It’s almost laughable when he sinks right in. No resistance, just the slick of your arousal and his spit, an unholy mixture for this thick sacrilege. Taehyung’s eyes stay locked on the sight.

“Fuck yeah. Oh baby…”

If it’s got him uttering curses this early in the round then you’re definitely worse off. You’ve got one profanity for every inch he’s claimed inside you, all lined up behind your teeth but you don’t have the brain capacity to get them out. He fucks you straight to incoherence.

Your delirium keeps you mum. Taehyung will make up for it. He slots his hand up the back of your thighs, hits deeper when you arch through the pleasure. “Holy fuck that’s so good,” you whine. “Taehyung—oh god.”

He doesn’t say anything. Just pants hard with every moan you’ll give him, and you watch the sweat glow on his collarbone, the thick of his neck. Places you claim with your mouth when you lean forward because it’s too hard to keep balance without his gravity.

Taehyung breaks when you bite. “Sh-it. Oh fuck you’re so hot. ‘M not gonna last, shit.”

“You’ll fuck me when you come?” you plead, hold his gaze. He’s just as gone as you are. “You’ll fuck your cum inside me?”

“Yeah baby. I’ll give it to you. So fuckin’ good.”

He never lets up. Just keeps that steady fucking, stiff with every drive into your slick till he adjusts your knees with one push. Pussy open to the angle that gets you begging for his thumb on your clit because it’s right there. You fall back on your hands, no steady grip because Taehyung’s faltering too.

“Oh—!” You flutter your eyes shut to pending ecstasy. “Tae—please—harder—right there right there don’t stop!”

“You gonna come for me?”

It’s a rhetorical question. You know he sees the way your chest collapses, the rub of your clit in quick gestures for your high. He’s got you right in his hand.

“Fuck—ohhh yes!”

“Ugh,” he whines. It’s nearly lost to the ringing in your ears, the clench of your pussy from his pounding. You cream him so good when the orgasm’s strong enough, pulsing hot, the rough intensity. And that’s not lost on him when he cries: “God your pussy’s so wet. Holy shit.”

Usually you’re spent by the time your vision’s cleared to the sight of Taehyung fucking you through it. But he’s promised you something, and you’re greedy for it.

“Come inside me,” you urge, guiding a hand through his hair, pulling hard at his nape. He keeps his eyes on his dick priming you for those final strokes.

“I’ll fucking come,” he snaps. “You ready? I’ll come so good for you baby. Come so fucking—good—!”

He stiffens with a shout, grinds his teeth, lets his orgasm splash inside with so much heat you mewl. And he keeps minimal movement, thrust for soft thrust because it’s too much with the squeezing you tease him with.

“I.” Taehyung clears his throat, panting to a stop. “I… wow.”

Your ass is rubbed raw against the counter. But you’ll risk it again to see the glint in his eye when he pulls out and watches his cum drip down your hole, onto the floor for you to clean when your legs aren’t jelly.

“Wow,” you repeat.

“Do… Am I… Am I ovulating?” He looks genuinely confused. “I don’t… I’ve never been that horny before.”

You snort. “Five days felt like forever, huh.”

Taehyung kisses you slow. “If it means we get to fuck like that again then I’m going to the city for a month.”

“Hey!” You pinch his arm, using his bicep to stand up, tiptoeing around the mess on the floor. “God. Help me clean up here, please. And where’s the dog?”

(Danbi sleeps peacefully in the wicker basket, head lolled on one of the passion fruits. You make sure to bring her over to Auntie Gaeul’s for extra snacks.)

[writefightandflightclub]

Tiptoe around this (Poe Dameron x reader)

Summary: Poe x short!reader. He CANNOT deal with your smolness.

Rating: TEEN

Author’s note: I’m doing soft blurbs this week bc you all deserve a hug from one of our fave fictional husbands. Let’s all destress and be comforted one blurb at a time, okay? (I’m doing these quickly so I can complete as many as I can for you, so they’ll be a bit scrappy, please forgive!) This one deleted itself and then I ahd to recreate it from nothing. The first version was better and probably had fewer typos but here we are. Ran out of time to check before dinner!

Warnings: short!reader; kissing (mildly steamy, no smut or implied smut).

GIF: @thestarwarsdaily​ LOOK HOW PRETTY

Poe’s dying. He swears he’s dying.

He’s doing his best to obscure this fact from Rey and Finn, however, so continues engaging in casual chat all the while as he hurtles towards his demise.

Poe’s dying, and, cause of death? Your cuteness.

Poe watches you surreptitiously from across the hangar. Watches as you realise someone has stolen your step ladders again, despite the fact you etched your kriffing name onto them in Aurebesh last time this happened. And so, to reach the tools you need -valiantly struggling on with your tasks anyway- you clamber up the face of the shelves and stretch to your full length as you attempt to grab down the box.

It appears you can’t quite reach them, even having climbed into a pretty precarious position.

The trouble is, you’re just too kriffing smol.

And it kills Poe. Every single time.

Of course, your height is only one of the reasons he likes you. He’s never even had a preference for his partner’s height before, to be honest. There’s just something about you. Something about how short you are which brings out his protective instincts. Makes him want to hold you and take care of you and spoil you. And Poe is already the type of guy to spoil his partner, so you can imagine how he feels about you.

Oh, and it certainly helps that you’re so kriffing gorgeous too. And funny. And nice. And did he mention SMOL?

Poe would never be patronising towards you because of your size, of course. He knows you’ve been underestimated plenty of times because of it - by both the enemy and allies- and without good reason! You might be cute to a lethal degree, but Poe is also well aware that you’re badass, capable, intelligent, and fierce. Small but mighty, you could say.

Still, when he sees you on your tippy toes trying to reach the box of parts, his heart melts and dribbles out of his feet. Or, at least, that’s what it feels like.

Death, by cuteness.

As you continue to persevere, Poe stops pretending to listen to Finn and Rey’s chatter altogether, a dopey smile settling on his face. He stands from the chair he’s straddling to zoom over to you, before some other handsome, height-endowed recruit can come to your assistance. He couldn’t have that, now, could he?

“Hey,” he says from behind you, a warm and gentle hand settling on your shoulder in greeting. “Can I help you?”

Poe hopes he can reach the damn shelf, because whilst he’s certainly taller than you are, he’s not exactly Chewy. Now, that would be embarrassing.

“Sure,” you say, even as you huff and puff, successfully grappling the box down to the floor without any further intervention. You recognise the Commander’s familiar, sandy voice before you even turn around, but when you do, you flash him a warm smile, and he could swear -if you killed him a moment ago- that smile has revived him back to life. “You can tell your damn recruits to stop stealing my ladders, Commander. I wouldn’t tolerate this behaviour from my squadron.”

You’re adorable, for sure, but there’s a fire in your eyes telling Poe you are not to be messed with. In fact, he’s sure that given half a chance you could raze the whole First Order to the ground, even if you did the whole thing on your tip toes.

Poe simply looks at you goofily, trying to remember how to speak, your eyes big as you gaze up at him from beneath your lashes. You’re basically a whole head shorter than him, if not more, and he can’t help but want to pull you into a hug, imagining how it would feel to enfold you against his chest and rest his chin on top of your head as his arms wound around you.

“Commander?” you ask again, clicking your fingers in front of his face. “I’m sick of doing everything on my tiptoes - I’m not a ballerina.”

Your gesture brings him back to the real world, and he notices the rolled-up sleeves of your flight suit as they hover in front of his face, his eyes dropping to the rolled-up cuffs of the legs resting on top of your boots. Standard-issue is too long for you and… yes, you’ve guessed it…

Kriffing adorable.

“Sure thing, Commander,” he finally says, still retaining that dopey, lovestruck expression on his face.

You nod to thank him, getting lost in his umber eyes somewhere along the way. He’s always entirely flustered when he speaks to you, and quite frankly, it’s so adorable that it makes your heart melt out of your feet. At least, that’s what it feels like.

You like Poe, and you think he likes you, but... both of you have been tiptoeing around this for far too long now.

“You know, there’s maybe one thing I like to do on my tiptoes,” you say with a knowing smirk as Poe looks helplessly between your eyes and lips, helplessly lost in yearning.

“What’s that?” he asks, and he can swear he intended the words to come out at a normal volume, despite the fact a mere whisper is all that emerges. Still, he’s happy as it causes you to lean in closer.

“Kissing,” you say with a gentle suggestion in your eyes, voice breathy and matching his hushed tones. You think it’s about time one of you makes a move, and it may as well be you.

Poe visibly gulps, and shuffles his feet a little closer to you.

Is this really happening?

He’s not sure how many times he can die and be reborn in one day, if he’s honest. The implication of your words and in your eyes encourages him though. Besides, he’s waited long enough for this moment, and now is as good a time as any, right?

“Kissing, huh? Well, honey, do you think you’d need to be on your tiptoes to kiss me?”

Your tongue darts out over your bottom lip, and an eagerness swells in your whole being, your body tingling with nerves and heat. Your mouths inch towards one another as if magnetised, your chin tipping up and his head stooping lower to greet you, as months of tension is compressed into the diminutive space between you.

“Guess we should find out,” you suggest with a sultry smirk, pausing a small distance from his lips, sharing the same air in the tight space between you.

Poe wraps his arms around your back, his hands feeling large and broad against you. You feel delicate encased in his strong arms, and you grab firmly at the holsters around his wide hips, tugging him close and bringing his body flush to yours. Poe feels warm and big and sturdy pressed against you. You’ve always been independent and capable, and yet there is something about Poe Dameron which makes you want to swoon for him, if only he would pledge to protect and care for you in all the ways your diminutive form might suggest you need him to.

Poe’s face inches closer and closer to yours, his lips pausing a hair’s breadth away from yours as your eyes fan shut, leaving you wanting. You swear your lips are tingling from the near-contact alone, crying out to brush with his.

“Oh oh,” he teases. “Can’t reach.”

You smile as you stand up on your tiptoes, closing the distance in an instant and crushing your lips to his, finding them soft, a hint of stubble grazing your cheek and he tips his head to the side. Upon contact, his tongue melds immediately with yours, deftly probing the cave of your mouth and melting you from within. Your hands slide up and up, coming to rest with your fingers laced around his neck, slipping into his hair.

As the kiss sparks and grows, Poe’s arms wrap firmly around your waist, and he bundles you up towards him, easily taking most of the weight of you, until your toes are entirely lifted off the floor as the kiss reaches its peak. You feel like you’re floating, in every sense.

Breathless and floored by that kiss, Poe sets you gently down, idiotic grins spreading across both of your faces as you stand there for a moment, still holding each other close. Poe looks down at you with adoration shining in his eyes, backlit with a gentle heat.

Feet back on the ground, more or less, you look self-consciously around as you both become suddenly aware of the hubbub created by the fact you both did that in the middle of the hangar.

Oops.

When your eyes look up at Poe again, he still has the softest, lovestruck smile on his pretty face.

“See you later?” he asks hopefully.

“Yeah. I hope so,” you respond, returning his smile, and you stand on your toes to plant a quick chaste kiss to his cheek, cupping his face in your hand. You could swear his skin darkens in embarrassment, and he turns from you with the most bashful and adorable expression you’ve seen on his face yet.

You’re dying, you think. You must be dying. Death by cuteness.

You ignore the commotion you’ve caused, for the most part, and you watch Finn accost Poe for gossip as he tracks across the hangar. You see Rey beelining for you too, the dumbest grin on her face, and you turn back to your work as you notice her approach, taking a much-needed moment to catch your breath.

You kissed him. Poe Dameron. Your long-time crush.

It was true, that the two of you have both spent far too long tiptoeing around this, but it seems that Poe has finally swept you off your feet. It’s safe to say that you’ve never been so glad in your life to be too short to reach a shelf. Funny then, that his kiss has you feeling ten feet tall.

What’s more, this the last day that anyone steals your stepladders. Poe sees to that. Ain’t no-one gonna mess with his precious, smol bean. At least, not if he has anything to do with it.

[luckycheesefoodie321]

ok...ok ok ok... ok... so I watched Mulan (2020)... spoilers + LONG POST (yo this took me an hour and a half)...

before yall scream at me for spending money on it, lemme just say i was fully intending to wait until December so that I would not have to give even more money to the Disney machine (especially in light of things that happened with John Boyega) nor endorse individuals who support police brutality or oppression... but my mum and sister nagged me to buy it so we could watch it now, and explaining the politics of supporting both Disney’s greed and the controversy around the lead actress and would’ve just frustrated us both so I paid for it -_- please don’t crucify me... 

also want to preface this by saying I am not Chinese (though I am Asian), and I understand that the 1998 film and this film have inherent issues, given neither were directed by Asian directors, let alone Chinese ones... so the representation of the Chinese culture is likely flawed (and likely straight up wrong) in many ways... additionally, Li Yifei has been shown to support the actions of police in Hong Kong, so just know I’m viewing her role purely from an acting and movie standpoint...

now that’s done... general rating for the movie

when compared to the original animated film (my favourite Disney movie of all time): scrapes by on a 5/10

movie that stands on its own as I watched it (just note I’m the type of person who can enjoy pretty much anything - even if I’m hyper-critical of it): 7/10 (I’m very generous but my viewing experience was nice)

if I break it down completely into its underlying faults and wash away the Hollywood sheen and the nostalgia filter: 4/10 for themes 8/10 for cinematography and the technical aspects... (this movie was gorgeous to look at and had some really fun camera work, sue me for enjoying the visuals)

Full SPOILER review:

For the most part, my nostalgia filter from the animated film, which I dearly dearly love, basically had me ecstatic anytime there was even a hint of a reference to the animated film (see: occasional notes from the songs), and also sorely disappointed when the acting or the general pace pulled the fun or the emotion from key points (see: A Girl Worth Fighting For being abruptly cut off upon seeing the carnage would’ve been so much more impactful because they actually showed the bodies in the 2020 version but instead we got this kinda funny convo referencing the lines completely separated from that scene)...

The biggest issue I have with the film is that Mulan was naturally skilled from the beginning and was told to suppress her abilities.. making her OP from the beginning undermines the 1998 journey where we see every step of her development both in physical ability and her emotional struggles... then through her wits, intelligence, and strategy, as well as being on par and even better than her fellow soldiers, she manages to defeat Shan Yu and makes us feel her “Hero” status is very much earned... so it takes away from what the 1998 film tried to show in suggesting Mulan could just OP her way to victory at the drop of a hat.. and also implied her being dishonest about her true identity was her primary flaw? idk thematically they were trying to be super empowering of women and the capability of women, and the boxes women are forced into according to society... but then suggest Mulan was always inherently gifted/had a special power and that is why she succeeded, while the other soldiers worked hard and effectively achieved the same goal (albeit in a less flashy manner)... so the message gets very confusing...

i felt that Xian Niang (was that her name?), the Witch, had a lot of potential, but I was also really concerned they introduced her to make sure Mulan had a female enemy to defeat, and Shan Yu/Bori Khan was a minion of this female enemy... so in that sense I’m glad she served as a foil to Mulan... I would’ve liked the parallels more if the “being your true self”/”bring honor to us all” theme wasn’t so muddled... Mulan was accepted while XIan Niang wasn’t because they both had powers, but then Mulan convinces her to take the noble path and so Xian Niang died for her? idk there was a better way to fold her into the story...

Shan Yu/Bori Khan was about as much as I expected from him... I think he matched Shan Yu for skill, though idk about ferocity or intimidation power, though the actor was decent enough... but I did enjoy his and Mulan’s fight... less impactful because he didn’t even know about her and how she was the one to take down most of his army...

didn’t mind that Mushu was missing... fondly referred to the phoenix as Mushu (though I understand there may be cultural missteps in a phoenix being the spirit/ancestor/guardian)...

I also didn’t mind they removed the power imbalance between Shang and Mulan and had her love interest be a fellow soldier...I really liked Yoson An’s character actually...but the romance element was significantly dialled back, so we didn’t get the bisexual icon that is Li Shang... also Li Yifei’s emotional acting was normal but not outstanding... so her feelings for Honghui didn’t really register much except for that first time they chat in the barracks about girls, and right before she goes home... (just me being pouty about him not joining the Imperial Guards to Mulan’s home and presenting himself for matchmaking... though I understand it was to keep focus on Mulan’s journey, not her love interest)...

while it probably wasn’t the intention of the 1998 film, the positive portrayal of gender fluidity, the specific empowerment of trans and bisexual individuals through Mulan and Shang (bc let’s get real, he was just as attracted to Ping as he was Mulan), all did not ring in quite the same way in the 2020 version... again I’m not part of either community, so I can’t say for sure, but this is what I read from it...

overall the fun was taken out, with the songs... I would say this is probably on the higher end of Disney Live Action adaptations, there were some fun moments and funny dialogue even, and I didn’t mind that they were trying to do something different, unlike some of the others which made it note for note the same... but ultimately the biggest flaw of most of the adaptations are that it removes the fun and the levity in lieu of a more serious tone... 

I accepted no songs (I was hopeful and then pleasantly surprised when they did pay some minor homages through the score to the original’s songs)... but the fun moments were meant to be intentionally undercut by the reality of the war... there’s a reason A Girl Worth Fighting For was cut off so abruptly in the 1998 version... it was the moment where these trainees (all of them young and having never experienced battle or war before) suddenly realised the severity of the situation before them, and it was in that moment they accepted their fate and duty to protect the kingdom...

the 2020 version just kind of had them walk through the carnage without any real build up... the grand battle sequence with the avalanche was pretty well done, the overdramatic “Hua Jun died but Mulan lived” scene notwithstanding.. i didn’t mind that Mulan volunteered to expose herself rather than be forced half-naked into the snow by the Chancellor dude... didn’t like Honghui got the “you listened to Hua Jun, why is Hua Mulan any different?” line... the “I believe in Hua Mulan” was kinda goofy, but I could see what they were going for... it was kinda undermined by the Commander saying “you dishonoured your family and this regiment but hey, you’re brave and loyal kid”...felt very patronising...

I’m not gonna lie, I kinda loved Cricket... he was adorable and I had half a heart attack when I thought he’d died... 

DIDN’T REALISE MING NA WEN MADE A CAMEO UNTIL I CAME ON HERE...so that was nice..

still pissed they didn’t even put the drum beats for “I’ll Make a Man Outta You”...they were using drums during the training sequence too so would’ve been real easy to do so AND THEY DIDN’T...they did it for “Bring Honor to Us All” and “Reflection”...idk why they couldn’t even give us that much of my favourite Disney song...

again, cannot emphasise enough how gorgeous this whole movie looked...and there were so many fun camera work moments... the visuals had me dead on the floor ya’ll...

idk what else i have to say now...

tl;dr I enjoyed the experience of watching it, but hooooo boi the film is flawed as hell...

[herecomesnaya]

I love how YOU are apparently speaking for all sex workers, meanwhile the numerous women who exited the industry and are now anti-prostitution are "Fox news bullshit".

Also... the absolute lack of nuance. I didn't say those other industries are great. I said sex work is so much worse its honestly uncomparable. Yes almost all jobs under capitalism are bad for your mental health, but none of the others have rates of Post Traumatic Stress Disorders higher than people who were in active military duty. (According to some stats its 40-55% for sw vs ca. 10% for military)

Also, its funny that you bring up loggers as an example, bc the actual most deadly profession in America is prostitution. They're not counted in the same statistics bc one is work accidents reported to labor bureaus and the others are (mostly) homicides (with some overdoses and suicides mixed in). The risk for prostituted women is 3-4 times higher.

(I know ur gonna say u could vet all of that away if only there was no stigma but a) does that do anything for women less fortunate than you, who dont have the time to vet? b) why are the current rates so high if vetting works?)

Also love the assumption that all anti-prostitution ppl are right wing when Marx himself opposed it. Like, it's in the communist manifesto.

1) relying on people who were in the industry and are anti-sw now is like relying on people who have gotten an abortion and regretted it for your abortion info. sex work is HARD work. it’s not for everyone. people are allowed to get out and be regretful. what they’re not allowed to do is shame and delegitimize the people who still choose to do it.

2) you’re doing a lot of correlation = causation here. those numbers don’t account for how many SWers go into the industry with PTSD already in place. they don’t account for the toxic masculinity rampant in the military that prevents them from admitting they have mental illnesses, therefore skewing the numbers low. you can manipulate data all you want, but that doesn’t make it the full picture.

3) and your solution is? surely you must have a solution for this. oh, wait, your solution is to shame sex workers and put quotes around “work” as if what they do isn’t work. I’m sure that helps the suicide rates a ton!

also, I’m not sure what you’re getting at with your last bit. less fortunate than me, who don’t have time to vet? are you saying it’s privileged now to take precautions? are you saying it’s somehow the fault of the industry that some people are disprivileged in that way? because again, that’s not a sex work specific thing.

and the vetting isn’t the only issue here. I have this feeling you think that I mean “vetting on places like adultwork makes sex work risk-free.” do you think I’m stupid? you must, if you’re making those assumptions.

what you’re sidestepping is that currently, there’s a ton of stigma and laws around sex work that directly contribute to those rates. stigma you’re perpetuating without telling me what the magical better alternative to sex work is.

4) you’re doing a lot of implying that all sex work is the same here. the differences between fssw and pro domming and GFE and content creation and pornography are staggering, and I’ve never said I’m speaking for all of them, but you sure seem to throw them all under the same “sex work bad! sex work make you die!!!” umbrella. again: educate yourself.

5) you don’t have to be an out-and-out republican to parrot right-wing talking points. also, I don’t really care what a 19th century anti-Semite says about prostitution, if we’re being totally candid here. maybe a man from the 1800s... doesn’t have the most progressive and educated views on the subject? this must be shocking to you, I know!

anyway, I know you don’t think sex work is legitimate work because you’ve been fed lies that all sex work involves people being kidnapped in a Walmart parking lot and sent overseas as Thai sex slaves, but that’s not my problem. take your concern trolling for marginalized people you don’t actually give a damn about elsewhere.

[mego42]

207 Discussion Q’s

shout out and thank you to @pynkhues for putting these together even though she wasn’t gonna be here this week

1. What was your favourite scene of the episode? Tell us why!

obvs the dubby but underrated fav is Ruby and Jane in the closet, idk exactly why but I am starved for the families interacting with each other content (screw the timeline, the most unrealistic aspect of this show is that they aren’t constantly in and out of each other’s houses with ben and sara continually being called on to babysit) so this little snippet makes me levitate

2. Was there any scene that missed the mark for you? And if so, how?

the annie and noah scenes for sure. I mostly feel betrayed bc I really liked them the first time I watched (i have a lot of built in affection for sam huntington let me live) and now I’m like BEGONE FOUL BETRAYER and feel pre-emptive fatigue over annie’s taste in men and how that’s not going to get better any time soon

3. I know time does not exist in the Good Girls universe (or in reality anymore), but let’s start with a timeline question! The implication of the opening montage is that a bit of time has past since Beth strongarmed the partnership with Rio at the end of 2.06. How long do you think it’s been? And more importantly, what do you think these early days of their partnership looked like?

I tend to lean towards at least 2 months, maybe more based on:

the number of shoeboxes and how many times Beth’s shown making a closet deposit

how lived in their annoyance over Beth’s dividing her time and Rio pushing back feels

the implication (at least how i read it) that Rio’s annoyance stems from having to track Beth down which presumably implies they’d grumbled their way into a semi-functional working relationship prior (supported by their ease with each other in 208) and if the montage has only been a month, that would be a maximum of 4 meetings and I don’t particularly think that’s enough time for them to get over being extremely prickly with each other

the fact that Beth goes to Rio for help when Jane’s missing (again, to me implies a longer period of time to get over some of their antagonism than a max of 4 meets)

I imagine their initial partnership went something like Beth being a smug brat about forcing her way in, Rio being deliberately unhelpful and trying to force her to admit she’s in over her head (while still keeping enough of an eye on things that his money isn’t jeopardized), Beth stubbornly refusing to and finding ways to rise to the occasion, Rio being grudgingly impressed, Beth being annoyed with herself for how pleased she is over that. Lather, rinse, repeat until they’ve worn a cantankerous but bizarrely comfortable groove into each other.

meanwhile, Mick, Annie and Ruby are absolutely disgusted by everything happening in front of their eyes.

4. The first scene between Ruby and Turner in this episode is a really dynamic one! It’s pretty clear that Ruby’s afraid of Turner, but what do you think Turner thinks of Ruby?

I think he sees a big cartoon canister labeled "Beth Boland Bait"

5. Taking the kids to the drop was a pretty big mistake! What do you think Beth should’ve done in this instance? Do you think saying no again to Rio was an option?

CALLED BEN OR SARA FOR A BABYSITTING ASSIST. For fucks’ sake.

And yeah, I think she could’ve said no to Rio but he would’ve kept her cut of that drop and, even worse, would’ve been able to hold the fact that she didn’t deliver that one time over her head forever more.

6. The krav maga teacher offers some sage advice telling Dean to not order the hit and instead just divorce his wife, haha. Do you think that he thought the baby hitmen would come through for Dean? Or do you think he was deliberately setting Dean up to get robbed?

I choose to believe the krav maga teacher knew exactly what kind of an idiot Dean was and set him up because the dude clearly had at least two brain cells to rub together and anyone with two brain cells to rub together would never get tangled up in a murder plot with Dean standing on the street corner telling random bystanders in detail how he wants to kill the guy that fucked his wife what do you mean established means and motive Boland.

7. During Ben and Annie’s tense conversation, Ben tells Annie that she’s hard to keep track of - she’s parent mom, cool mom, sketchy mom. In a lot of ways, this feels like a parallel to Ruby talking to Beth in the last episode and calling her ‘drug Beth, gun Beth, human trafficking Beth’. What do you make of this? And how do you think it relates to the show’s themes?

I defer to @foxmagpie’s answer because I like it a lot. 

8. The scene with the girls in the house! Tell me all your thoughts please!!!

I love this scene a lot

Beth’s channeling Rio in general but also specifically in 201 you will never ever change my mind

Sometimes I lie awake at night wishing Rio had seen it

Prayer circle that he sees a version of it in s4

Can you imagine the nightmare level of boner he would get? The sheer narcissism!!

Ruby’s obvious wish for new friends is The Most Valid

I really love the main drug den guy, I love Blake Shields’s energy, it makes the scene crackle, and I wish they’d bring him back purely bc he’s gr9

9. Annie meets Noah in this episode! What do you think of their introduction to one another? And how would you rate Noah on the scale of ‘Garbage Annie Love Interests’?

at least he’s not her therapist I guess

10. Beth has two pivotal and emotionally revealing fights this episode - one with Dean and the other with Rio. How do these fights compare? And what do you think they tell us about her respective relationship with them?

UUUNNNNNFFFFFFFF

I L O V E how hard the show goes on Dean’s obsession with Beth and Rio as the primary source of his angst

the fact that he’s trying to rope Stan into murder while looking for Jane who isn’t even MISSING but Dean had NO IDEA bc instead of giving a shit he went straight to HOW CAN THIS BE THAT GUY’S FAULT

I love how clearly they delineate that it isn’t about Beth but specifically about someone else ~*~taking~*~ Beth from him and how emasculated that makes him feel (something something something the storyline opens with the krav maga guy choking him out and then telling him to divorce her and Dean being like I reject your rational and logical solution bc it doesn’t punish the man who touched my property, idk i have a half baked thought there but i can’t pull it out of my brain)

and then it’s all underscored how little Dean’s worried about Beth and her safety by him bringing her work up specifically as a gotcha (which, unless I’m forgetting something, is p much the only context Dean ever brings it up in besides maybe the sit down fight but that’s again, about Beth acting out vs genuine concern)

Meanwhile, this is contrasted with:

Beth flipping tf out at the mere suggestion Rio would ever hurt her children, showing how deeply and instinctively she trusts him in regards to her children aka what’s been established as her Most Important Priority over and over (in the same breath that she rips into Dean for losing Jane in the first place)

which is doubled down on her immediately going to Rio for help

and he is FURIOUS at her, but the thing he leans hard on isn’t how she could have jeopardized the business deal (aka his money, what’s been established as his Most Important Priority over and over) but how she jeopardized herself and how badly she can fuck up if she doesn’t take this seriously

putting himself in a vulnerable position (presumably burning a connect, letting on that Beth means something to him beyond business) to look out for Beth’s emotional well-being

And then, just to drive it home a little further, @sothischickshe pointed out the Beth and Rio fight over Beth’s self preservation is directly paralleled with Stan freaking out at Ruby over the IA stuff because he’s worried about her and I had to go and stare at a blank wall for a few minutes to calm down.

anyway, draw your own conclusions.

11. Ruby takes Jane being missing as an opportunity to try and find evidence on Beth for Turner and, in the process, finds Jane too. How do you think this scene captures Ruby’s moral dilemma? And do you think it’s a satisfying turning point in the Ruby-Turner arc?

I struggle a lot with the Turner and Ruby plot specifically because I HATE that Turner’s ruthlessly leaning on Ruby as the weak link but I’m also ferociously attracted to him so I’m less bothered by it than I feel like I should be so mostly I just try not to think about any of it.

Idk, I see it in some ways as a continuation of Ruby’s fight with Beth and Annie in s1 where Annie said she isn’t blood. They put Ruby on the outside but when push comes to shove, Ruby still puts the two of them above her own family. As far as I’m concerned, Annie still owes Ruby a massive apology for that. Beth I let off the hook a little because by the end of the season she’s ready to turn herself in to make it all go away for all of them (I think, unless I’m misremembering, which is entirely possible bc I don’t think I’ve ever rewatched all of 213)

12. RIO GETS BETH THE DUBBY!! That’s it, that’s the question. Please discuss.

I think a lot about how the gesture is so baldly honest neither one of them can face it either at all (Rio) or without taking a shot first (Beth) which, now that I’ve typed it out, is also an interesting flip of their general MO bc under normal circumstances I’d put Rio down as the one that, of the two of them, is more willing to face stuff whereas Beth’s the one that hides from it.

[phoebehalliwell]

Any thoughts on a cupidlighter? (cupid-whitelighter) What kind of powers they might have? Like, would they develop new hybrid powers? (Orbeaming? Lol)

Okay. So. i actually think about the differences between cupids & whitelighter relatively frequently (i can say at the very least more frequently than any normal person) because in my next gen fic we have both cupitches and witchlighters, and while we already have a basic 411 on a witchlighter hybrid because of paige, chris, & wyatt, we saw really next to nothing on how cupids function as they were only in a total of like eight or nine episodes. but it’s established cupids are a different species and while cupids & whitelighters share some powers with similar functions (both have a form a teleportation & of sensing), i think the ways they tap into these powers is completely different. broad strokes, if a whitelighter and a cupid switched bodies, they would have trouble beaming/orbing respectively, because it would require a different set of skills/mentality.

so let’s start with whitelighters bc we’ve got a little more lore on them to start with. they are a species completely ruled by logic. there are clearly A Lot of rules in place for whitelighters, ranging from general “don’t fall in love with your charge” to the hella specific “don’t eat on the job, wear you formal robes to meetings”. we literally get the quote “a whitelighter who's controlled by his emotions is useless.” so uh. yeah. that and they clearly serve a higher power (the elders), and to displease them is to have your wings clipped. now, we could get into some speculation here bc while the elders are a higher council of whitelighters the do act as the guide/leaders of all users of white magic, no matter the species. so like we could say that what a whitelighter should have originally been was one who was always compelled to do good and help others and they initially operated off their basic instinct, and then the formed a casual system you know assigning charges to make sure every witch/future whitelighter was receiving the guidance they needed, and then that grows into this and this grows into that and we see the elders rise as the beacon of good magic, the moral compass to guide the world (and who better to watch over good magic than beings who are literally hand picked due to their amazing capacity to do good?). but now it’s sorta a uhh what’s the word you know that thing where something feeds off its own energy and growing bigger and bigger because every time you’re doing it your building off your last iteration and nothing’s really driving you to do it at this point other than the fact you feel like you need to improve the last phase into a bigger and better phase it’s very cyclical and i swear there’s a colloquialism for it but i just can’t put my finger on it Anyway it become a that situation where the elders are the leaders of the magical community so they need to be presentable and they need to be dignified and they can’t be a clownass bc then it seems like the elders as a whole are clownasses (which i aint saying anything butttttt) and because of all this whitelighters as a whole, over the centuries, turn away from that sort of intrinsic emotion based free form sitch and become a much more rigid and structured people. because of this, i think powers such as orbing is really guided by a more logical approach. they think of a location, and they can go there. it’s very much done with the mind. sensing is another whitelighter ability that has become less and less attuned to emotions. a whitelighter can sense when their charge is in trouble, but we really don’t get any other emotions. however, they can easily sense if there are people in a room, or if a being is evil (note: i know in the s5 opener when piper was kidnapped by necron leo’s like “all i’m sensing is courage” but my counterargument was that was not a normal emotion, that was a magically amped up backfire of a spell that suppressed other emotions and completely flooded one’s system with courage, so i don’t count that really. i would also add, as piper and leo share a very deep, very strong bond, it’s also likely that leo’s ability to sense piper is a lot higher than it would be with any of his other charges).

so now let’s jump to cupids. we have barely any canon on them (which i love), and what we do have i might very well ignore. (there’s a cupid judge?? all cupids are dead babies????? i’m..... yeah i’m not doing that.) the way i see cupids is as beings of love, who are very much ruled by their emotions (the real water signs of the magical world). we know from coop that beaming itself is about emotions, not logic. you can’t think of a place to get there, you feel it (which is why piper and leo kept fucking up their beaming destinations in the finale). when they sense, they sense love, they sense hurt, they sense fear, they sense caution, they sense hope. it’s not a physical thing, it’s not a mental thing, it’s pure, raw emotions. also just while i’m on the topic the way i think cupids work is that they’re just straight up vagabonds, they wander the earth just looking for instances to spark love, there’s no rhyme or reason to it. (like leprechauns how in canon “are like bees, they pollinate the world with luck.” it’s implied they don’t have charges/specific assignments to do with their luck, they just go where the vibes take them. that’s how i like to think cupids work. like love isn’t about reason or logic, so the way they operate shouldn’t be grounded in reason or logic). as far as a higher power they have to answer to, i don’t think that would come from within the cupids. i think while there is a vague social structure base off how long one has been a cupid for, there’s mostly just a sense of fraternity that links them all together. the higher power they answer to is the elders (who honestly i really don’t think they engage with the cupids like At All especially with their focused belief that logic and discipline should be the standard they just really don’t like the loosey goosey energy the cupids have. it think when they called coop bc they felt vaguely guilty for completely shafting her love life was probably the first time they reached out to the cupids in about a century or so).

So. now that i have talked extensively about both species, let’s get into what a cupidlighter would actually look like. for starters, the birth’s gonna be a scandal. romeo and juliet two households both alike in dignity a wild love affair a this a that the other it’s gonna be the talk of the whole magical community. and there are so many questions because how will this child age? which being would they elect to become? what powers will they have? so on and so forth. so two answer my own questions: a whitelighter was once human, and can become human again. it’s established immortality is a gift. i think cupids are naturally immortal (sidenote i think coop had to petition the elders to grant him the ability to age, which they weren’t too keen on bc they’re like dude we already let you marry a witch what more do you want and coop’s like .....to not watch my wife grow old without me??? and they’re like ughhhhhhh but then leo catches wind of this and orbs up there like heartless motherfuckers?? coop’s love for phoebe is pure don’t subject them to this horrible curse???? jesus christ aren’t you supposed to be the good guys? stop and think about your actions for like 90 seconds you callous fucks??? and the elders are like 😐😐 okay coop can age. and like the younger whitelighter are like can we talk like that? and the older ones are like nooooooo that’s a leo thing they like cannot kill him). so, in conclusion, i think a cupidlighter would age like a mortal, but at an insanely slow rate (think like asgardians to humans in the mcu. but like. maybe not that slow). what will they become, a whitelighter or a cupid: i think they would be raised/trained in the ways of both, and then once they’re like in their twenties you know they’ve been alive for almost a century they would probably settle and decide what they will act as, which really depends on who they are as a person (but let’s be real it’s gonna be cupids who wants to serve those stuffy ass elders with their suckass playbook). as to what powers they would have, i am honestly going to say All Of Them. because there’s no witch in them there’s no concept of a dominant/active power. so they just like. can do it all. (and hell yes to the orbeaming which i am definitely looks like orbing but instead of a blue light and tiny white orbs its a pink like with small ass lil hearts 💞💕). so the teleportation magic would fuse into a new power and the sensing would fuse into just a superior version of sensing, they can heal like a whitelighter they can manipulate time like a cupid they just. they get everything. But. a lot of the powers have different triggers than they normally would. i would say orbeaming would definitely be a more difficult form of teleportation to master than orbing or beaming on its own. i think the time manipulation, which should be ruled by the cupid half, would end up having a more whitelighter trigger, meaning they’re going to have to figure that one out on their own because the cupids don’t know how to teach it to them and the whitelighters don’t have that power. so while they really have a long list of powers, mastering them is much more difficult than it would be for any non-hybrid.

and if i’m doing a bonus round (and i’m Always doing a bonus round) here are my thoughts on a cupitchligher. so we’ve got a couple options here a cupitch was a relationship with a whitelighter a witchlighter has a relationship with a cupid a cupitch and a witchlighter have a relationship a cupidlighter has a relationship with a witch. i think i’ve covered all my bases. i also think all of these would yeild a great range of magic results, but the baseline common traits would be like 1. good person, like an incredibly good person bc they have the whitelighter instinct to help people in need the cupid impulse to spark and nuture love And on top of that the witch’s need to protect the innocent. bro you’ve got such a good person on your hands. and then 2. their witch powers would be amplified by their other halves. okay so you’ve got a tribrid so you know they’re already going to be strong but this is like a merphoenichaun where all the sides are magical but like,, unrelated, this is three sides working in absolute harmony to amplify one another. a witch’s powers come from their emotions and the cupid side helps boost that and the whitelighter side not only adds its own extra punch but it also works to hone it through the inherent discipline that has become ingrained into whitelighter dna.

[wetalkinboutbooks]

Realm of Ash by Tasha Suri

Summary:  The fate of an empire rests in the hands of a young woman with magical blood and nothing left to lose, and an outcast prince determined to save his family at any cost, in this "dark, melodious, and memorable" new fantasy (Library Journal, starred review) from the author of the award-winning Empire of Sand.

The Ambhan Empire is crumbling. A terrible war of succession hovers on the horizon. The only hope for peace lies in the mysterious realm of ash, where mortals can find what they seek in the echoes of their ancestors' dreams. But to walk there requires a steep price.

Arwa is determined to make the journey. Widowed by a brutal massacre, she's pledged service to the royal family and will see that pledge through to the end. She never expected to be joined by Zahir, the disgraced, illegitimate prince who has turned to forbidden magic in a desperate bid to save those he loves.

Together, they'll walk the bloody path of their shared past. And it will call into question everything they've ever believed...including whether the Empire is worth saving at all. (Taken from Goodreads)

Our Ratings:  

 → Geena:  ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

 → Kae: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 

Overall: Realm of Ash is a great follow-up to Empire of Sand, where we follow Arwa who was introduced briefly in Empire of Sand. There is quite a bit of political intrigue in the first half which sets the pacing a bit slow but picks up quickly once the characters go through big revelations. The characters and their motivations draw you in, and overall it was a good read!

~Check out our spoiler Full Review Below

A QUICK SUMMARY: 

So, this book picks up twelve years later from where we last visited this world in Empire of Sand. In this book, we are following the story of a once minor character, Mehr’s little sister, Arwa. Arwa has grown and married and been widowed when we meet her again. She is on her way to a widows hermitage where she is to live out the rest of her days in mourning, after losing her husband. 

Since the Maha’s death, this world had descended into chaos. The daiva, aka, eternal spirits, aka CHILDREN OF THE GODS, have been wreaking a bit of havoc on the world. If you remember, the Maha was manipulating the dreams of the Gods to favour the kingdom. When he was defeated, those dreams had begun to take their natural course. With dreams come nightmares. And those nightmares have taken form. BUT. The daiva protect their own blood, which is the Amrithi people. Arwa is half Amrithi, but she isn’t sure if the daiva are there to protect or hurt her. In addition, her mother (aka stepmom) raises her believing that Amrithi are cursed and savages, and essentially taught her to hate herself. 

In the widow’s hermitage, she meets an influential widow, Gulshera, and realizes she has connections to the imperial family and because Arwa doesn’t care about anything she offers herself up as a tool to the royals. So, Gulshera takes Arwa to serve under Princess Jihan, we’re subjected to court politics and meet Prince Zahir, aka a bastard. Together, Arwa and Zahir work together to find the Maha in the Realm of Ash (essentially a spirit world) so they can unlock a way to save the empire from ruin. Princess Jihan turns around and essentially implies that she sent Arwa to Zahir to ‘PLEASE’ him in an INTIMATE fashion. Arwa doesn’t take it and gets mad but Zahir isn’t here for it and it’s smooth sailing again. 

During a trip into the Realm of Ash Arwa realizes the truth behind her Amrithi blood and the Maha’s crimes and shares it with Zahir. They both struggle, Arwa being staunchly anti-empire and Zahir trying to do something to prove his worth to his sister. When the emperor dies, he names Zahir as the Maha’s heir and Jihan’s older brother Prince Akhtar as Emperor. A few murders later, a different Emperor sits on the throne and Zahir has a bounty on his head. Zahir and Arwa use the aid of a secret women’s society Zahir’s mom was a part of to escape to where the Maha was stationed to find the secret to the empire’s success, discovering cursed towns, ghosts from their pasts, and their feelings for one another. 

The Good:

→ Zahir

Kae:  So ZAHIR! I love him. He is as kind as a kitten. As sweet as an apple pie. But because he is a bastard, he is hidden away in tombs that were converted to be his rooms. There, he does research on how to restore peace and order to the Empire. He knows his days are numbered, being the bastard son of the Emperor, so he is essentially doing research to bargain his own life. Besides that, he genuinely likes learning and spent the majority of his days doing that anyway before he was banished to the tombs to live in secret. 

When we first meet Zahir, he is studying by candlelight in his rooms. Arwa finds a bit of power in him not noticing her, and takes the time to watch him for a moment. She thinks he’s handsome with his ‘pretty face’ and sharp, slender form. She’s like “damn he’s kinda hot… but I'm a widow… I’m not allowed to think boys are hot anymore.” But alas, she thinks he handsome. So they assess each other for a moment and agree to be apprentice and teacher.. Zahir gives Arwa poems and books to read that will help her better understand about the Realm of Ash and what he is working on. 

Geena: Arwa wears a veil for 90% of the book because such is the way of the widow, so she makes a point to stare at Zahir through her veil because she knows he can’t see her checking him out. And this boy turns around and hands her poetry, the more we learn about the nocturnal prince the more you realize he’s such a Soft Boi™ who loves literature and wants to desperately prove that his life has worth. His mother was killed because she tried to give the Emperor some advice, and the Empire of Ambha drinks the ‘women aren’t shit’ juice so she was labelled a traitor and murdered. Zahir only survives because Princess Jihan loves him, and as a legitimate spoiled princess she has to be pampered. Zahir has the ability to study and work with magic, because his mother was part of a secret women’s society that did so and it was passed onto him, so he’s been tasked with figuring out a way to stop the Empire’s decline ever since the Maha died. 

His character made me sad a little bit, because he feels like he should have died with his mother to some extent. And Jihan has led him to believe that his life being worth something depends solely on the fact if he can find the Maha’s spirit and save the empire. He’s treated like trash by everyone else because he’s a bastard and into witchcraft, even Arwa thinks he’s a weirdo in the beginning. But he’s such a kind-hearted soul?? Who btw respects women, when Arwa accuses him of tryna sleep with her, Zahir is like “MA’AM, I RESPECT YOU WITH MY WHOLE HEART IDK WHAT SHIT MY SISTERS BEEN DRINKING BUT I WOULD NEVER!” well, he’s less dramatic than that but yea he suggests laying out rules so they don’t cross the apprentice/teacher dynamic. Also, during one trip into the Realm of Ash and Arwa’s veil comes off and she literally snaps at him to not look at her face (bc it is not the widow way) he straight up doesn’t look at her face ever for a good portion of the book after that skfjdf.  

Kae: YEH HE JUST LOOKS AT HER HANDS. SOFTIE. I LOVE HIM. 

Geena: Hand fetish IM JOKING… BUT SNDKFJDNST THAT’S ALL I COULD IMAGINE.. Arwa was like “Man, my veils off but this boy is still looking at my HANDS” 

The Bad:

→ Gulshera and the Royals

Kae: Gulshera! Ohh, she made me mad at the end. But like, I get it, ya know? So Gulshera, our bow-wielding widow, was Princess Jihan’s nursemaid and confidant. So when Gulshera finds out Arwa is Amrithi (because Arwa got caught trying to rid the Hermitage of daiva) she basically goes to Arwa like “You know you gotta get up outta here right? You can’t stay here, shawty.” But she gives Arwa the option of possibly going to the Empire and devoting herself to the Princess and her cause for solving the Empires bad luck. So Arwa goes, meets Zahir, yada yada yada. 

Gulshera asks Arwa very vague questions about what she’s doing but doesn’t exactly want to know what Arwa is doing. She just a lil nosey. So after a while, the Emperor dies and the named prince is killed by his brother. Zahir is next and he and Arwa escape. Eventually, they are found in the desert where Gulshera shoots the shit out of Arwa’s shoulder. It’s such a bad blow that Arwa is pretty much bleeding out. I was like, yo what the FUCK GULSHERA. 

Geena: YEA LIKE SHE PRETENDS TO BE HER ALLY AND CARE FOR HER BUT TURNS AROUND AND IS LIKE “SORRY BABES IMPERIALISM ALWAYS WINS” 

Kae: AND THAT’S THE TEA BAYBEEEEEE. IT was such bullshit. But again, I get it. Gulshera is like “It’s either me or you… And I raised the princess so imma do what she says and also I knew her longer soooo…. Bye Arwa. This will haunt me for the rest of my days… but it be like that.” 

Geena: Kae covered Gulshera really well! But yea she was a stank old lady in the end, like you’re essentially the reason Arwa is where she is but you’re acting like you had nothing to do with anything. BUT N E WAYS, I’m gonna talk about Princess Jihan a lil bit because she annoyed me too. She was privileged and used Arwa like a ragdoll, actually not even just Arwa but her brother she claimed to love too. Jihan really guilt-tripped the FUCK out of Zahir being all “Did I save you from nothing? Do I deal with other’s scrutiny for nothing? Prove your worth to me brother, prove that I’ve placed my love in the right man” and I was like……  bitch…. She might have been a princess but she was the queen of emotional manipulation. Also, she claimed to be for the women but essentially told Arwa that one of her jobs was to fuck Zahir and like…. Hello….. What is wrong with you. 

OH AND ANOTHER THING… when it’s revealed that the Maha used Amrithi people to shape the Empire’s success, and Zahir confronts Jihan about this she’s like “Yea, and?” like she saw no problem in using a group of people and villainizing them in the same breath…  Imperialism is a hell of a drug 

The Ugly:  

→ The Nightmare

Kae: So the Nightmare was truly… A nightmare. 

When we first learn about how Arwa became a widow, we learn about an incident that took place at a military base called Darez Fort. Darez Fort is where Arwa stayed with her husband, Kamran. We learn some soldiers come back with what they think is a Daiva, trapped in a little cage/crate thing. When they open it up, it appears to be a childlike creature. But it soon reveals a face of white bone and attacks everyone in the fort. The Nightmare makes the men turn on each other as well and it’s quite literally a blood bath. Everyone is dead. The maids, the cooks, the soldiers, and Kamran. All killed. BUT THERE IS A DAIVA THERE. It’s Arwa’s litter guardian angel. She knows her blood protects her, so in a panic, she makes this big ass cut on her arm and surrounds herself with her blood. The Daiva protects her from the Nightmare and she is the only survivor of Darez Fort. 

The Nightmare leaves a sense of fear in Arwa that literally makes her shake. She can kind of sense when it’s near. So on her journey with Zahir and a guards woman named Eshara, they end up at another fort for a rest. Some soldiers are ordered by this mean ass general to stay inside the fort because they aren’t allowed to leave. This is when Arwa gets that chilling sense of fear as she did in Darez Fort. SOME EVIL SHIT IS AFOOT. 

Geena: Yesss, the nightmares are like anti-daiva essentially. I really liked their concept and how they factored in with the worldbuilding. What makes them terrifying is that the Maha spent how many centuries fending off nightmares by using Amrithi, but suddenly without him to control how gods dream, nightmares are flooding the empire. Arwa manages to defeat the nightmares by unlocking the memories of her past ancestors from the Realm of Ash and crudely dancing a rite that locks nightmares in cages. Along with Zahir, Arwa figures out that nightmares consider themselves some sort of god and love to be worshipped. Both Zahir and Arwa decide that the empire can rot, and the nightmares can do what they want but they’ll teach anyone with amrithi blood to dance the rite and worship the nightmares to prevent any more massacres like Darez Fort.

→ Maha

Geena: God….. This stankass wrinkly-ass bitchboy really sunk his claws so deep into the Ambhan people that after he died, he was thought to be a martyr. Like 12 years after his death and people still worship him, and mourn his death? Mehr and Amun went through so much to end his reign of terror yet the empire continued to worship him. I’m sure they didn’t have the time or power to go around and spread the truth behind the Maha’s work but good LORD was it grating to read people missing that disgusting man. But thinking back on it, even if Amun and Mehr had exposed him… would people have believed an Amrithi couple that killed their beloved Maha? They probably would’ve killed them instead :(

Though, this was an interesting detail that Tasha Suri included. That, despite the evil being defeated, people will refuse to acknowledge it as evil and continue to point fingers at marginalized people for the problems caused by the evil being. 

The Awesome:

→ Arwa and Mehr

Kae: If y’all could see me now, you would see me doing a little dance because BIIIIITCH. I WAS LIVIIIIING SOLELY FOR MEHR AND ARWA TO MEET UP AGAIN. EVERY PAGE I WAS LIKE “is Arwa gonna talk about Mehr? Does she miss her sister?” AND SHE DID SOMETIMES AND I LOVED IT. AND THEN ARWA SAID SHE WAS TOLD HER SISTER HAD DIED AND I WAS LIKE NOOOOO. SHE IS ALIVE, ARWA. SHE IS ALIIIIVE. 

So when Arwa was in the Realm of Ash, she had seen Mehr and was SHOOK. Because you can only see dead relatives in the Real of Ash. So she actively avoided Mehr in the Realm because it hurt too much to see her there. It just confirmed that her sister was dead. And even I was confused because I was like “Ummm, Tasha… I know you didn’t kill off my girl after she done went through all that shit.” So I started thinking…. Because in the Realm of Ash, you saw the dead as grey ash. Shadows. But she saw Mehr in colour and full of life. So I had this theory that since Mehr has Amata (Amrithi spiritual magic closer to the ancestors) that she was seeing Mehr in the realm because of how close Mehr’s amata was so the ancestors and daiva. 

GUESS WHO WAS RIGHT BITCH? MEEEEEE. I CALLED THAT SHIT. IT’S MY SUPERPOWER. So like, as Arwa is dying from that arrow bitchass GUlshera shot her with, she ventures into the Realm and see’s Mehr again. She calls out to her, and Mehr sees her. She promises to find her. 

When Zahir and Arwa escape from his sister’s claws, the daiva take them out into the desert. Mehr eventually finds them and brings them back to her home. When Arwa wakes up, she is greeted by Mehr bandaging her up. They cry and hug. I CRY BECAUSE I’M SO DAMN HAPPY. I LOVE A GOOD REUNION. MEHR LOVED ARWA SO MUCH AND ARWA LOVED MEHR. AND THEY WERE SEPERATED AND HADN’T EVEN KNOWN THE OTHER WAS STILL ALIVE. AND THERE THEY WERE. TOGETHER. AND ALIVE AND HUGGING AND CRYING. It was beautiful. I was like, ugly crying. So thank you, Tasha. Thank you for writing that scene so well because it was happy and emotional and they both deserved to see each other again. It will go down as one of my top 5 reunion scenes. 

I’d also like to say, unrelated to Mehr-- That Awra and Zahir did admit their love for each other and kissed. And Zahir was Arwa’s, and Arwa was Zahir’s, though they made it clear that they belonged to no one. They belonged to each other. And their love was so soft and built on mutual respect. They were both very lonely and longed for one another, but never pursued because Arwa didn’t want to break the honour code of the “widows way” or whatever, and Zahir didn’t want to disrespect her. BUT THEIR MINDS. THEY LOVED EACH OTHER. So they both finally gave in. And it was lovely. 

Geena: ugghh yess, Arwa and Zahir’s relationship was based on mutual respect and love (just like Mehr and Amun!). In both instances, people forced them together but it was only through their own agency that they fell in love with one another, and support each other wholeheartedly. 

ALSO, THE REUNION KSJNFKSJF I had a suspicion that Mehr was alive too based on everything that Kae mentioned too! So, when Mehr says to Arwa that she’ll come for her I sCREAMED!!!! I loved it so much, them crying in each other’s arms… Arwa seeing Mehr’s own kid… LIKE HELLO??? 

Kae: AND TASH SAID HER AND AMUN COULDN’T HAVE KIDS BECAUSE OF THE RITES SO I WAS SHOOK AND HAPPY AND OMG. literally SCREAMING. 

Geena: YEA I REMEMBER THAT, BUT THEN I ALSO REMEMBERED YOUR THEORY! Where the Maha had said that people that danced the rite couldn’t have children because he tried to impregnate amrithi women he enslaved but it didn’t work… and Kae you’d said it was probably because he was shooting dust and YOU WERE RIGHT!!!

Kae: IT’S MY SUPERPOWER. IM TELLING YOU. I CAN GUESS THE SHIT OUT OF SHIT. 

Geena: KJDSFNKSDJF I LOVE YOUR SUPERPOWER!!! My only complaint was that we didn’t get a longer scene with Mehr/Amun and Arwa/Zahir bonding :( I wanted mooorreee… other than that it was everything! 

Conclusion

Geena: TO CONCLUDE! Tasha Suri didn’t disappoint with this sequel… and it’s so easy to write a shitty sequel but she was like nAH WE’RE NOT ABOUT THAT LIFE. And we loved it! There was a slow start as we read Arwa struggling with her internalized hate, but after she realized that she came from a people who have survived in Ambha in the face of adversity the book sped up real fast. The romance was so soft and wholesome and everything that we want in a relationship, Tasha knows EXACTLY what she’s doing when she’s writing romance. I don’t trust anyone else with a romance this soft, and I cannot wait to read her upcoming series that feature a wlw couple.  

Kae: GEENA SAID IT ALL. Tasha knows how to write a romance. I love soft boi’s that will also murder a man for you if need me. LIKE YAAAS HE’S SENSITIVE AND RESPECTS ME AND WILL BEAT SOMEONE'S ASS FOR ME. WE LOVE TO SEE IT. Honestly though, overall, this was such a stunning sequel. Because Geena and I have read some sequels that were…. How to say this nicely… fucking terrible. Tasha is a phenomenal writer and I know her upcoming series will be great too! This book was full of lessons. One being, SELF HATRED IS FUCKING TRASH. SO LOVE YOURSELF AND YOUR RICH BACKGROUND. BECAUSE PEOPLE WILL LOOK DOWN ON YOU  FOR WHO YOU ARE AND WHERE YOU COMF FROM SOMETIMES, AND YOU JUST GOTTA SAY FUCK ‘EM AND KEEP IT MOVING. 

Geena: JKSNFKJSNDSKJF YAAAS, ALSO IK IT WAS BRIEF BUT LIKE DAMN… TASHA REALLY WENT HARD WITH THE AMRITHI IN THIS BOOK AND HOOBOY… Like the insights into past ancestors? And the fact that there are so many mixed Amrithi people that have been forced to hide their heritage… once again…  I M P E R I A L I S M and G E N O C I D E… this series covered it pretty well… PLEASE READ AND SUPPORT TASHA 

[bigowlenergy]

Notes for the Nontraditional ABO Nonsense I’ve Created

I hate ~traditional~ abo with a passion. Just reading the summaries of those kind of fics gives me anxiety like woah. it’s Gross, dude. Once accidentally read a fic where male omega were ~biologically predisposed~ to getting sexual pleasure from being told the price point they were sold for during sex with their alpha/owner and like?????? No. Gross and Bad. Can other people read and write it? Sure. Whatever. But keep it far away from me, pls. Thank you exclusion options on Ao3, you’ve saved my life.

Anyway, not this is any “better” since i’m still just writing weird smutty abo fanfic on the internet, but this is my preference, and, if it is yours also, click here to read Maman.

There’s actually only a few points to it: (1) Ghouls have abo, humans do not. (2) Ghoul’s physical bodies are mutable. (3) Transphobia does not exist in my world. (4) Horny stuff.

(1) I adore the clear division between the human and ghoul worlds in TG: the human side of the equation is basically reality - patriarchal, few women as investigators in a male dominated position, the usual. Then on the other side, there’s really only the one male ghoul ever shown as a leader - the guy Rize kills, and also kind of Banjo? Kaneki is prophesied, so it’s different - and the strongest ghoul and strongest kakuja are women. Survival is praised above all else, and that’s about it, actually.

So I wanted to work within that by deepening the divide further. If canon will weakly imply that ghouls go against human standards of gender roles, then I will catapult that concept to the top floor. They don’t have human gender standards, period. Those who live in the human world may socially identify using which ever side of the gender binary fits their appearance better as a way to blend in with humans, but it’s not an internalized identity. It’s just another mask that they have to wear.

And, being a society that functions on survival and strength, I decided to marry these concepts together to create this system.

The entire Greek alphabet, go for it. Why not? There’s little point in applying a new gender binary (alpha/omega) over the irl subscription to such, and/or the extremely weak trinary with plot-forgotten beta is much the same. Gender is a spectrum.

(2) ...and so is sex. Why have a cis based system when I could literally do anything else? Ghouls can turn into giant kaiju, plant detached kagune in walls, and regrow their heads. Take it further, coward Ishida! A ghoul’s body is totally mutable based on their power level. Omega being the strongest because I love myself, and Alpha the weakest.

Most ghouls inherit their mother’s dynamic bc of RC cell transfer before birth, but as kids they aren’t considered to actually be that dynamic since they’ll often mature into something else. And it is not a permanent change. Any ghoul can work to become stronger and rise higher on the spectrum, or get weaker and end up falling lower. There is a natural power cap in them for whatever their ceiling is without resorting to cannibalism (Ex: Tsukiyama family weak genes), which means ghouls can still be trans, by ghoul standards. (Example: Nico. Okama stereotypes aside, applying this au to them gives them a concrete id of being more powerful and closer to being socially labeled an omega than they want to be, so they id as something closer to alpha without sacrificing their strength level.)

Is all I’ve said is Everyone is Trans and also Girls Rule? Yes. Is just inverting gender roles a bit trite? Yes. But does it make me feel better? Also yes. Therefore fanfiction exists.

TL;DR Omega ghoul are the strongest, and therefore the most socially powerful, and a large spectrum of gender and sex exists that ghouls can id with and move through fairly easily. It’s more fun this way.

(3) Just gonna take the trash out on day one. Fuck terfs.

I won’t say it doesn’t exist in ghoul society, since Torso is absolutely a transphobic bitchwad, but it is super rare. Ghouls raised by humans might struggle with this, but that’s about it. Also, I’m just not gonna write about human transphobia. I don’t wanna.

(4) ....But at the end of day, do you know what I am? A kinky dumbass.

All I was really aiming for here was to be able to actually enjoy this genre of lemon (all hail tumblr staff’s rules and regulations) without being creeped out by. Well. You’ve read traditional abo. You’ve scrolled past some horrific summaries. You know what I mean.

So, with an actually interesting and less obnoxious base outlined as above, we can finally get into the pulp of the lemonaide:

Heat. The real and only reason abo exists. I’m a sucker for it as much as the next guy. So yeah. There’s a good deal of lemon here.

Only ghouls from phi and up to omega can have heat, but all ghouls kappa and down to alpha can have ruts. Rut makes the weaker ghouls have a higher chance for survival against an overpowered omega by answering their heat. I decided to kick out knotting bc I personally don’t prefer it and it sounded like a dangerous thing to be doing in this au. Gonna get ate bc your dick got stuck, dude. :/

It lasts about 12-16 days, roughly. 5-3 days of preheat preparation and hormonal overdrive and aggression, 6-4 days of the actual Event, and then a resting period of coming down from the hormone high and recovering about 2-5 days. It only happens once a year, regardless of power level. Culturally, a ghoul is considered to be in heat from day 1 of the preheat phase, not just when the actual event happens.

Ghouls mature faster than humans because of their low survival rates, but I’m not a pedo so heat only becomes possible once a ghoul crosses the threshhold of physical maturity - which is about 25 in humans, so maybe 21-26 depending on the individual. And then later in adulthood if that ghoul arrived at a dynamic that experiences heat later on in life.

That’s all I can think of for the abo rn. should Discuss the etoneki content next installment.

smell yall later.

[taakofromtaz]

taako fights a necromancy cult on candlenights

Summary: 

(alternately titled "how the necromancers stealing lup made the best candlenights ever")

“Really, fellas? On Candlenights? Don’t you have anything better to do?”

Notes: (transposed from AO3)

big thanks to the taz fic writers discord for giving me the initial idea and cheering me on!!!

this isn't my best work but i just wanted to post it before the year ended,

i did a little TOO much d&d spell research bc i love accuracy, also, hopefully these spells are all ones taako can actually use,

happy candlenights and happy new year's!!!!

[hopefully accurate use of d&d spells, kravitz was supposed to be here but he’s not, there’s blupjeanss but it’s in the background, taako’s a badass okay? i dont make the rules, TAAKO DOES A HIT, this has very little to do with actual candlenights actually,]

End notes:

ending kinda sucks but eh. que sera sera fuckit

Word count: 3065

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Tonight is going to absolutely perfect. Taako has spent the day toiling away in the kitchen—with the occasional help from Lup—to make the family dinner absolutely perfect. Everyone’s favorite dishes are present and even the latest of guests are set to arrive several hours before it’s time to chow down.

Lup and Barry and Kravitz have been in and out of their office in the Astral Plane the last couple days to finish any last night work that would even slightly disrupt their family holiday. There shouldn’t be any bounties coming their way for the next few days at this rate, Istus and the Raven Queen forbid.

Candlenights is going to be beyond perfect this year.

Lup is the first one home and after checking in with Taako in the kitchen, rushes off to her room to gussy up for the evening. Once she’s done, Taako will get ready, and by that point, the boys should be done wrapping up their paperwork and be back in time to help greet the first guests.

Taako is halfway out of the kitchen when a dimensional rift opens up beside Lup and Barry steps through, looking a little exhausted. “Just in time, Barold,” he says, smiling when Lup turns to give him a kiss. “Keep my sister company while I get ready, huh?”

Barry blushes and wraps an arm around Lup’s waist. “Heh. Not a proble—” Before he can finish, Lup disappears from his grasp, and the two of them are left staring at where she was in complete shock.

“What the fuck?” Taako rushes back into the room and waves an arm where Lup was standing just a second ago.

“L-Lup? What happened?” Barry’s eyes are blown wide behind his glasses and he’s frozen in place, shoulders stiff and arm slowly drifting back to this side.

“Barold!” Taako thumps him in the chest and Barry sucks in a deep breath, coming back to himself. “Come with me. I have a silver mirror in my room.”

“R-right. Right. We—we’ll find her. It’s okay, it’s fine.” Barry’s rambling seems to be more for his own comfort than anything, so Taako snatches up his wrist and drags him down to hall and into his disaster of a room. He shoves Barry to down to take a seat on the bed and digs around on top of the dresser for the silver hand mirror he knows he has.

Taako sets the mirror on the bed beside Barry and takes Barry’s face in his hands. “Hey,” he says, ducking his head to took him in the eyes, voice low. “We’ll find her. She didn’t leave.” The this time is implied. “She wouldn’t do that.” Not again.

Barry sighs and closes his eyes. Taako leans in and plants a kiss on his forehead. “What’s the plan, Taako?”

“I’m gonna cast Scrying. See if I can find her,” Taako says, stepping away and scooping the mirror back up. He clears a spot on the floor and sits down, cross legged, and focuses on the mirror. “I need you to go find her brush and bring me a piece of her hair. That’s the easiest way to do it.”

Barry nods and leaves the room. Taako closes his eyes and focuses directly on Lup, thinks about her laugh, her smile, the way she looks, the way she talks, and wills his magic to focus on hers. His ear flicks when Barry comes back, Lup’s brush in his hands. Taako takes it silently and concentrates the spell through it with one hand and the mirror with the other.

It takes a minute for the spell to find her, but it finally catches and he can see her in his mind’s eye quite clearly. There’s no way Lup knew he was going to look for her, but he can feel her voluntarily failing her save regardless. A second later, the room around him fades and he feels as if he’s with Lup, wherever she is.

Taako looks around, seeing and hearing through the scrying spell’s invisible sensor, and says, “Barry, if you can hear me, I found her. I’m gonna tell you what this place looks like.”

Taako can’t hear if Barry makes any sort of reply, but he feels a warm hand settle on his shoulder so he figures that the words came through. (Taako’s only ever used this spell once and he was alone when he used it, holed up in his room and getting drunk by turning water into wine like fantasy Jesus while he tried to find the man that wanted to kill him so bad he almost succeeded. He has no idea what it looks like from the outside or even if anything he said would come through. He’s glad that it does; trying to remember what this place looks like would be hell.)

The cave is dark and musty and full of weird, vaguely creepy artefacts that Taako doesn’t feel like describing. Bones and skulls of all sorts litter the floors and from Taako’s position, he can see Lup standing in the middle of a summoning circle, red cloak draped over her little black dress, arms crossed and looking extremely put out.

“Really, fellas? On Candlenights? Don’t you have anything better to do?” She sounds annoyed and not worried at all and Taako can’t help but feel relieved. “Didn’t we have to come break your shit up literally a week ago?”

That might be useful. Taako doesn’t know if Lup is being helpful on purpose, but he relates the info to Barry regardless. The hand leaves his shoulder and Taako tries to moves to catch it and only ends up moving his field of vision. Attempting to pull out of the spell only leaves him with a headache and ringing ears. “Barry? Where’d you go?”

The necromancers surrounding Lup say nothing, and she just looks progressively more annoyed. “So what now? You bring me all the way here and… nothing? No reaction?”

The necromancers start murmuring amongst themselves in Abyssal and Taako tunes them out, still trying to abort the Scrying spell before its ten minutes are up. The problem is that he doesn’t know how. His first attempt hadn’t been a success.

“Barry! Get back here!” Taako calls out, trying to move again. His vision merely shifts and he huffs out a breath, trying to stay calm. Nothing good comes from panic and his usual grounding methods are useless if he can’t move his physical body. “I’m about to freak the fuck out, Barry! Where’d you go?”

Nothing. Taako closes his mind to the vision of the inside of the cave and counts his heartbeats as he waits for the spell to end.

He hears the sound of fabric tearing and he opens his mind’s eye to see Barry step out of the rift, his Reaper glamor making him look like his lich form. “Asshole!” Taako screams, vision swinging as he makes to throw his arms out.

“Hey, babe!” Lup says, a huge smile lighting up her face. Taako wants to do a hit on Barry’s stupid face. “How’d you know I’d be here?”

Barry looks around, pulls something from his robe, and taps two fingers to the sides of his glasses. He sweeps the room again and locks eyes with what Taako can only assume is the Scrying spell’s sensor. “Huh. Neat.”

Taako huffs as Lup tilts her head. “What is it?” The necromancers are chanting now, something Taako is oblivious to the meaning of, but given the circumstances, it can’t be anything good.

“Taako found you with a spell. He can see us right now actually. Hears us too.” Barry gestures in the direction the sensor. Taako just wishes the spell would end already.

“Shit yeah!” Lup turns and smiles blindly in his direction. “Hey, Koko! These necro-fucks are real close to home! You know that cave that you, me, and Bare-bare checked out a few months ago? I think this is it!” Taako smiles even though she can’t see him. Lup is the best.

Barry sighs. “This is exactly what I was trying to avoid. We got this covered.”

“Aww, but it’s Candlenights!” Lup says at the same time that Taako yells out, “Suck it, Barry!” to his empty room.

“You two are chaos inca—” Whatever Barry was going to say is cut off the spell ending, throwing Taako back into his own senses and his quiet room.

“Lulu you’re the best sister ever,” Taako says to himself as he scrambles to his feet. He runs into the kitchen first thing and turns off all the heat he can and moves the dishes to safer, less fire-hazardous spots. (That could have been a disaster.) The next thing he does is jot down a note for Kravitz— “We had a situation but we’re handling it!” —and then he rushes back to his room for his cloak and component bag and the Krebstar.

It’s time to fuck up some necromancers.

 It takes Taako about ten minutes on Garyl to find the exact cave Lup and Barry are in. Taako doesn’t bother dispelling the phantom steed and as long as he stays out of the way, he should be fine. “Go in there and kick some ass, my man,” the binicorn drawls, voice low and smooth.

Taako shoots him finger guns and takes off into the cave, trying his best to be quick but quiet. The cave is suspiciously silent and Taako can’t imagine it means anything good for his family. Ahead of him, the cave opens up into an antechamber that’s lit with an assortment of candles an few enchanted lanterns.

There’s about a dozen hooded figures of varying shapes and sizes standing in a semicircle around where Taako can recognize as the last place he saw Lup. She and Barry are pressed back to back, hands clenched together, surrounded by what appears to be spectral cuffs. Lup’s mouth is moving but there’s no sound and Taako, if he’s being completely honest with himself, doesn’t care enough about the why to figure it out.

Conclusion? Lup and Barry are pretty soundly—or not, heh—trapped. No big deal.

The smart thing to do is try to pick these dudes off one by one and find a way to free Barry and Lup from the trap. The smart thing to do is to try and rescue his family and have them help him kick some ass.

What Taako ends up doing is firing off the most potent Sunbeam he can, taking special care to avoid catching Lup and Barry in its line of fire. Over half the necromancers fail their save and scream as the spell blinds them temporarily. The rest fall away from the line as quickly as they can. Not a single one of them is left unharmed.

“Just who the fuck do you think you are?” Taako steps out from his hiding spot, Krebstar raised, face drawn into a snarl. The necromancers left with their vision—about four of them, Taako guesses—look at him in what can only be stunned silence. “Really, fellas?” Taako asks, copying Lup’s line because it was just that good. “On Candlenights?”

“Run along, little wizard,” the nearest necromancer hisses at him, their voice low and grating. “You’re not who we want.”

Taako scoffs and hardens his glare. Little wizard? Sure, he must be a sight to behold with this hair in a messy bun, an apron thrown over and oversized sweaters with the sleeves rolled up, sweatpants and boots that are a size too big—not to mention his cloak of the manta ray and belt with his spell component pouch—but just because he looks like hot garbage right now doesn’t mean he’s not capable.

He’ll show these fuckers what for. They deserve it for underestimating him.

Taako gives a nasty smirk to the necromancer that spoke and aims the tip of the Krebstar at them. “Watch this,” he says, the casts Disintegrate.

The necromancer shrieks, briefly, and falls apart before the remaining hooded figures can make a move to stop him. Taako adjusts his grip. “Anyone else?”

A couple of the blinded necromancers fall over their comrades trying to move closer to him and one of the relatively unharmed figures raises an arm towards him. Taako quickly steps back into his hiding spot and casts Mislead, sending his double to go running deeper into the cave. He keeps his senses with the double until he’s sure of the path it can take then switches back to himself and sneaks, completely invisible over to Barry and Lup.

Barry’s eyes turn to him immediately and he barely stops himself from making an audible reaction. Stupid Barold and his stupid True Seeing.

Actually, this might be useful.

Thank you Istus, Taako thinks, raising his hands and signing out, ‘Trap?’

Barry blinks once or twice before grinning. The crew had all learned this sign language of sorts back in Cycle 27 when they came across a plane that left most the nonhuman members of their crew deafened—the cause being something that emitted a planetwide audio tone that only certain races and species were capable of hearing. It obliterated the auditory nerves of anything that could hear it, but the natives of the plane had already begun adapting, mostly by adopting more visual indicators for those affected by the strong noise.

‘Glyph,’ Barry signs out, doing his best to keep his movements small and subtle. Lup shifts against him and squints in Taako’s direction, so Barry shows her the name symbol they came up with for Taako. (Granted, it’s not the one Taako came up with, but the others convinced him that the gesture he wanted was a little too complex and obscure. He reluctantly agreed.)

‘Trap,’ Lup signs, confirming as well, looking off to the side. ‘Rock?’ She ends her second sign with a shrug, trying not to be too obvious about looking for the source of their magic cage.

Taako holds up a single finger, the universal ‘wait a moment,’ and switches his sense back to his double. Said double is deeper into the cave than Taako’s ever been and is physically wrecking every weird artefact it can while still keeping them mostly intact so the Reaper Squad can confiscate them. The double seems to be doing fine, making a mess of things while avoiding the occasional spell being flung his way.

Taako comes back to his actual self to see Lup pointing to a huge boulder close to the cavern wall.

‘Fake?’ she guesses, nudging Barry. He glances back at it and nods.

‘Check,’ Taako signs, sneaking over to the rock. He needs to be quick. The blindness seems to be wearing off of victims of his Sunbeam.

The rock is indeed somewhat fake. The front is illusory, a cover to hide a small, open spellbook covered in glowing arcane runes sitting on a much smaller rock. Taako grabs the book and snaps it closed. He doesn’t particularly care which type of trapping spell this is, but removing the book from the area should be enough to end the spell.

He tosses the book towards the cave entrance and watches as Lup and Barry grin and step away from the center of the summoning circle on the floor.

Taking advantage of his invisibility, Taako nudges past Barry and Lup. “Take a sip, babes,” he says, winking at Barry, and he casts Cone of Cold. Taako fades back into visibility as a vicious, icy wind whips up at his fingertips and blasts through the cave. The closest necromancers, still recovering from their blindness, fail to save—again—and several are frozen solid as their hit points drop to zero.

Lup is cheering, whooping and laughing as her brother annihilates the den of necromancers. Not all of them die from the attack, but enough of them do—Barry moves to collect the souls of the deceased as Lup heads further into the cave to get any stragglers.

Spell over and job done, he casually pretends to dust his hands off and waits for Lup and Barry to finish their reaping.

“Koko! That was fantastic!” Lup calls out as she runs up to him and grabs him in a big hug, lifting him up and spinning him around.

He laughs and hugs her back, striking a showy pose when she sets him back down. “Thank you, thank you, I know I’m amazing.”

“That was really impressive, Taako. Nice work,” Barry says, looking like himself again.

Taako turns to him and gives him a sharp smile. “You’re on thin ice, pal.” His eyes narrow and his grip on the Krebstar shifts. “You know why.”

Barry visibly gulps and Lup laughs. “Sorry I just. Left. Like that. I won’t do it again, promise.”

Rolling his eyes, Taako turns and starts to exit the cave. “Yeah, sure, whatever. I’m going home. This isn’t my job and I have to finish getting ready.” He looks back at them and points at them. “You better be home before seven or I’ll come back here and drag you back personally.”

Lup gives him a mock salute. “You got it boss! Come on Bare-bare. I’m sure there’s some gross junk in here that you’d just love to get your hands on.”

Barry waves at him as he shuffles off, following Lup to the cavern room that Taako’s double trashed.

Garyl is still waiting outside when Taako finally leaves the cave. “We done here?” the phantom steed asks as Taako climbs up.

“Yeah m’man. Take me home.”

 Somehow Taako makes it home before any of the guests arrive, which is just as well because he still has a lot to do. He makes to resume cooking and or reheat the food and rushes back to his room to change as quickly as he can. He comes back to the kitchen to see Lup standing at the stove.

“Go finish getting ready, bro.” She smiles at him. “I got this. Barry when back to the Astral Plane to drop some stuff off and drag your boy toy back home.”

Taako darts forward to peck her cheek with a kiss before running back to his. “Thanks, you’re the best!”

“No problem! And chill out! Tonight’s gonna be perfect!” Lup laughs after him and he smiles.

Best Candlenights ever.