#like I’m glad my December was generally better this year

[skyward-floored]

Man last year I was depressed like the entire month of December and yet I managed to chug out a longfic chapter in like a week just in time for Christmas. Where did I find that energy.

[scarabsinthestardust]

Better in the Morning // Ch. 6

MASTERLIST

word count: 2300+

CHAPTER WARNINGS: Language, mentions of a strained parental relationship, anxiety

I’ll admit, I was shocked when Jake first told me he wanted me to meet his family. He proposed I tag along with them to Michigan for the holidays; he was beyond excited to show me his hometown, and to introduce me to his mom. I shouldn’t have been surprised- we’d been together for almost two years, and it wasn’t the first time he’d mentioned it. This was a perfectly normal thing for couples to do, so why was I so goddamn nervous? The way the guys talked about their family, it was safe to assume they had wonderful, caring, loving, and normal parents. I worried that I wouldn’t belong there. I played scenarios over in my head that someone would ask about my parents, and it would all be downhill from there; they’d think I wasn’t good enough for Jake, that I’d tarnish the bloodline. It sounds so ridiculous when I say it out loud. Looking back, I realize it was a stupid thing to worry about at all.

My knee was shaking, and Jake placed a hand on me to still it. I was never bothered by planes, but I let Jake believe I was just a nervous flier. It was easier than explaining why I was terrified to meet his parents.

He warned me that December in Michigan would be cold, but I wasn’t prepared for how cold. He chuckled at me, bundled up in all my layers, my teeth chattering as we waited for our ride outside the airport. “What, are you cold or something?” I shot a glare at him and the shit-eating grin on his face. “Doesn’t it get cold in West Virginia?”

“N-not like this. B-b-besides, I was born in T-Texas. I th-thrive in heat.”

He wrapped an arm around my waist and brought his lips to my ear. “Well, I guess I’ll just have to warm you up later, huh?”

The next shiver that ran through me probably wasn’t from the cold, and an involuntary gasp escaped my lips.

“Get a room!” Sam yelled overdramatically, in his exaggerated Midwest accent. Jake grinned and flipped him off just as the car pulled up.

The ride was easy, full of excited chatter from the boys, and it helped me to swallow my nerves for the time being. Danny was dropped off at his parents’ house first, with promises to come by the Kiszkas’ later. I didn’t tell anyone I saw him squeeze Sam’s thigh before departing. When we arrived at our destination, my heart started pounding again.

Jake grabbed my hand as everyone was unloading. “It’s going to be fine, babe. They’re going to love you.” I could only pray he was right.

I sucked in a deep breath as we entered the house, Josh leading the way. I was immediately aware how warm it was inside, a welcome shift from the freezing temperature outside. It smelled nice, like a mix of pine and peppermint. The initial excitement, everyone exchanging hugs and ‘I missed you’s had me backed into a corner. I felt like I was only going to be in the way. But when Karen, Jake’s mom, had greeted all her children, she turned her attention to me.

I’m sure it was obvious how nervous I was. She shooed the boys away to give us some space. “You must be Kya. I’ve heard so much about you. I’m so glad you could make it.” She extended her arms to pull me into a soft, welcoming hug. I hugged her back and returned the sentiment. “Let me look at you.” She pulled back to look me in the eyes, her hands on my shoulders. “I can see why you caught Jake’s eye, you’re so pretty.”

I felt the blush creep up my cheeks and did my best to mutter a thank you. I was introduced to their dad, Kelly, and received an equally sweet welcome from Ronnie, Jake’s younger sister.

Most of the evening was spent chatting, everyone getting caught up on what was going on in each other’s lives. Karen asked me questions about my job, how I liked living in Nashville, and some general small talk. No one ever raised any questions about my family, and I wondered if Jake had already said something to them. On one hand, I was grateful I wouldn’t have to force out any awkward explanations to people I barely knew, but I didn’t know how much Jake, or even Josh, would have told them.

They really were such nice people; I didn’t feel like I was being judged or looked down on. They made me feel welcome. We all sat at the dining room table and shared dinner, which was frankly quite delicious. I wasn’t surprised; Jake had to have gotten his culinary talent from somewhere. But as the night progressed, us all gathered in the living room sipping on wine, the nerves started to make a comeback. Jake stood in the corner by the record player, chatting with Kelly about some vinyl or another. Everyone was absorbed in their own conversations, and I was suddenly feeling entirely too hot. I grabbed my jacket and slipped out the back door, hoping no one would notice. Someone did.

I stood against the railing on the back porch, reveling in the quiet and focusing on getting my thoughts in order. It wasn’t that I wasn’t having a good time, and the Kiszkas had been nothing but nice to me. So why did I feel like crying? I pegged it on to the fact I was tired, or maybe I could blame it on some seasonal depression and told myself to get it together.

I jumped at the sound of the back door opening. I expected Jake and was caught off guard when I was met with Karen instead. “You alright, sweetheart?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry. Just needed some air.” I forced a smile to show her I was fine.

What I didn’t know was how observant a mother of four could be, and I certainly wasn’t expecting her to pick up on what I was feeling so easily. “I know it can be a little overwhelming sometimes. There’s nothing wrong with needing to take a breather every once in a while.”

Sighing and rubbing my eye, willing myself not to cry, I fiddled with one of the rings on my finger. “I’m sorry. You guys have been wonderful. I’m just not used to… all this.” I waved my hand around, gesturing to the house and hoped she wouldn’t take it the wrong way.

“Oh, it’s okay. Like I said, things can get a little chaotic in this house when the boys are home. I know… I hope you won’t be upset with him… Jake told me a little about your parents. I won’t pester you for details, but I want you to know you have a family here. And if you ever need to talk, woman to woman, you can always reach out.”

At the time, I couldn’t understand why she was opening up and inviting me into her family so easily. Part of me expected her to be like Josh, distrusting and overprotective. She didn’t know me all that well. And I had a hard time fighting off the thought that I didn’t deserve this.

She must have noticed my confusion, although the few stray tears that escaped might have been a dead giveaway for how I was feeling. She grabbed a soft hold of my hand. “Jake speaks so highly of you. Josh and Sam, too.” I was a bit dumbfounded to hear that even Josh had talked about me to his mom, and that it was all good things. “I can’t thank you enough for taking care of my baby, Kya. I think you’ve been so good for him, and I can tell he loves you so much.”

And with that, any ounce of self-control I had went out the fucking window. The tears were flowing freely now, and this amazing woman who had brought the love of my life into this world hugged me, just comforting me like any good mother would.

I eventually calmed myself down and pulled away from her, wiping my eyes. “God, I’m so sorry. I’m a fucking mess.” I flinched at the curse that slipped out, but she didn’t seem fazed. I’m sure she’d heard worse raising the boys.

She tsk’d at my apology. “Oh, stop it.” I heard the back door open again; this time it was Jake that stepped out, a worried expression on his face. I quickly wiped my eyes, hoping he didn’t see me crying on his mother’s shoulder.

“Everything okay out here?”

Karen smiled. “Yeah, we’re good. Girl talk.”

Jake placed a hand on my back and looked at me, searching my own expression. “Your lips are blue, babe.”

I giggled. I was so distracted I hadn’t noticed how cold I was. “That’s because we’re in the damn arctic, Jacob.”

With a smug grin on his face, he planted a kiss on the tip of my nose. “You just need thicker skin.”

Back inside (and back in the comfortable warmth) and feeling like a weight had been lifted off my chest, I was able to enjoy the rest of the evening. After everyone retired for the night, I was laying with Jake on the small bed in his childhood bedroom. It still looked like a teenage boy’s room; old posters lined the walls, including what I guessed was the first Greta Van Fleet poster they made. The room still held remnants of when they were young, whispers of memories of much simpler times. Jake held me close and told me stories of their youth until I started to doze off.

“Thank you for coming with me,” he whispered into the crown of my head.

“Thank you for letting me into your life.”

~

The rest of the holiday went off without a hitch. Early Christmas morning we gathered around the tree in the living room, everyone excited for the gift exchange. The fire was lit, giving the house a nice, cozy feeling. I sipped on some coffee and sat cozied up to Jake on the couch, happily watching everyone excitedly opening their gifts. I’d even made it out with a handful of presents myself, which I didn’t really expect but it was sweet, and I was so appreciative. By the end, the floor was littered with shreds of wrapping paper and bows, haphazardly tossed to the ground. I helped clean up while Jake helped Karen start prepping for the huge dinner they would serve later. I also spent some time talking with Ronnie, getting to know the other Kiszka sibling.

I’d gotten a few ‘Merry Christmas’ messages from friends, and one from Richie asking if I was having a good time. I sent a few scattered responses, not wanting to appear to have my nose buried in my phone for too long.

We’d stuffed ourselves way too full at dinner and I was ready to crash. I found myself on the couch, snuggled up with Jake. We had swiped a fleece throw blanket and under the cover of it, his fingers traced along the skin under my shirt absentmindedly. Another buzz from my phone had me holding it up in front of my face.

Unknown number – 8:34 PM

Merry Christmas. Hope you’re well, mija.

I let out a sigh, debating if I wanted to respond. I glanced up at Jake to find him staring at my phone inquisitively. “My dad,” I explained.

“You don’t have his number saved?” I could tell he was only curious; there wasn’t anything judgmental in his voice.

“He changes his number frequently. Probably using a burner phone or something.”

“Is… is that normal?”

He sounded so confused; I couldn’t help but laugh. “For that nutjob? Yeah.” I shot back a quick text, just wishing him a Merry Christmas, not wanting to reveal too much information. He was the last person who needed to know I was in Michigan with my boyfriend.

~

When it was time to pack up and leave, it was bittersweet. Karen loved having her kids home for the holidays, but the time always came for them to return to their lives in Nashville. Plenty of hugs were exchanged and promises made that we would let her know when everyone was home safe.

Karen ensured I had her number and gave me another reminder to call if I ever needed anything. “Even if you just need me to keep Jake in line once in a while,” she joked. He’d rolled his eyes at that, bidding one last goodbye to his family and leading me out the door.

Jake promptly fell asleep on the plane ride home, giving me some time to think. That was when I realized that my previous worries were, in fact, stupid. His family had welcomed me with open arms, even when they didn’t know me. His mom treated me like I was one of her own, never once shying away, despite my emotional meltdown. She provided the kind of motherly love that I didn’t get to experience as a child, and it made me feel safe. On top of it all, Jake’s willingness and eagerness to invite me into his own family so easily warmed my heart.

He looked so peaceful while he slept. I was a little jealous at the ease with which he could fall asleep on an airplane, neck craned at what I knew had to be an uncomfortable position. I studied him then- his jawline, his lips, the shape of his nose, how his eyes fluttered behind his eyelids as he dreamt. He was beautiful, and I was so proud of him and everything he was, and he was all mine.

[vgperson]

What Did I Do In 2022?

Game Translations That Aren't YTTD: 1. Okay, maybe 1.5.

----

First of all, while I didn't add it until later in the year (not entirely unmotivated by the Stability of Platforms), my site now has an RSS feed for notable updates of any kind! I mention this upfront because I'm mostly just going over the things that are already listed there. It currently retroactively covers everything back to 2020, but I might add more past stuff over time so it can better serve as a general "everything I've ever done" page.

In February, I translated Kenshi Yonezu's POP SONG (and an interview). Noel The Mortal Fate Seasons 1-7 also got a revamped version on consoles (Switch, PS4); the console versions include a new Season 3.5 translated entirely by me, and the rest of the seasons have a revised script which is more thoroughly edited by me than even the redone Steam translation was.

In March, the update adding Kai to Your Time To Shine came out. Yes, he is Kai.

In April, I finally finished up my unofficial Japanese translation patch for Petal Crash. たのしいね、クラッシュ！ It actually just got some extra attention after the Petal Crash run for RTA In Japan about two days ago, which is kind of wild. Is this what it's like to be famous...? (clueless)

In May, I translated Kenshi Yonezu's Shin Ultraman theme song M87 (interview, interview), and the coupling song from the single, ETA. And there was an article about the 10th anniversary of his debut!

Also in May, the Ib remake came out on Steam in English! Told you they'd contact me. It was later announced to be coming to Switch, scheduled for March 2023.

In August, Your Turn To Die was announced to be coming to Steam. It's planned for early 2023, but to be clear, it'll release first in Early Access still with no final part, though with some exclusive mini-episodes and character profile sheets. Apparently once that's out, the actual completion is estimated for 6 to 12 months later... but, you know. Estimates are hard.

In September, I put together a guide for and officially "released" my Custom Translation Engine plugin for RPG Maker MV, the one I made for the Ib remake, and back-implemented into Your Turn To Die shortly after I was contacted about it coming to Steam. It's fancy (in-game language switching!), convenient (minimal direct editing of code!), and you can use it for your own translation projects if you want!

In October... well, I didn't do anything new for it, but I'll take credit for The Witch's House MV coming to consoles. (Switch, PS4, Xbox) I also translated everyone's favorite Chainsaw Man opening KICK BACK, associated interviews, and the single's coupling song Y'all Should Be Ashamed.

Finally, in December, after lots of spending my time elsewhere and indecision about how I should go about returning to doing some dang free game translations, I concluded that what I'd really wanted to do all year was translate Uri's PEDESTAL.

I think some people latched onto specific parts of Uri's original explanation for why it wasn't being translated, such as the cultural aspects (I honestly winced at her blunt remark that the story was "no good at all"), but while Uri indeed had those doubts at the time of release, the only real reason it wasn't translated at the time is that I did a less-than-ideal rushed playthrough that slightly hurt my overall impression of its quality, and I felt too busy at the time to work on something with lots of text that was likely to be divisive. So similarly, me finally feeling up to it was the reason it did get translated. I probably should've come back to it quite a bit sooner (after I was made to give up a certain other translation, say), but as I alluded to in last year's post, I was self-conscious about "my big return to free game translations" being something that might not have wide appeal. Uh, glad to be past that, hopefully.

Oh, and ever since finishing PEDESTAL, I've been working on all sorts of overhauls to my site, but like... not the kind that actually majorly changes any part of the visible design and annoys people (and if something did change in an annoying way, it's probably accidental). Some of it's just better consideration of mobile browsing (stuff like images or tables sticking out of bounds at mobile resolutions), or making things more convenient for myself behind the scenes (did you know I made a program to add "br"s to every line of all lyrics content before considering I could just have the page code do that, and also better?).

Some more major observable changes include general renovations to the lyrics page (bigger font size, buttons that hide individual languages to aid in side-by-side comparison), and more convenient navigation of OSTER's tweets, such that I could actually imagine someone reading through them all the way from the start without it being too much of a hassle.

----

While I'm glad to be over the PEDESTAL hump, I don't... necessarily have any definite plans for upcoming free game translations. I mostly just have some stuff on a list that I may have to make myself check out soon enough. Also, Game Atsumaru (which you may know as The Site That Hosts YTTD's Japanese Version) is ending in June??? So uh, might have to accelerate checking out stuff on there, though I guess it depends on how many creators are able to migrate. (Nankidai does plan to put YTTD's Japanese browser version up somewhere else.)

As I mentioned, Your Turn To Die's Early Access release on Steam should be coming up early next year with those mini-episodes and character profiles, and the game might be completed within the year. No promises. I mean, I don't have anything to promise, it's not my game.

Speaking of my game... also no promises. But I'd really like to release one. We'll see what happens. There's also a different kind of original project I recently returned to trying to make real, which could come early in the year, but who knows. As should be apparent, I'm working on a lot of different fronts here, so I frequently feel bad about neglecting such-and-such type of creative work, which sometimes means nothing actually gets done and released. Ultimately, though, it's probably better to follow what I most feel like doing, rather than force focus on one thing and end up not actually getting much done.

Which is to say: hoping to finish something in the new year!

[zahri-melitor]

Crossposting but I just finished my 2023 Fic Roundup and Analysis.

I often end up doing these late, so look at me getting this out in January for once! (Didn’t want to put it out in December while I was still publishing)

Previous years: 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022

I like to ask myself some questions about what I've written in the past year. Here's my thoughts.

Stories published: 13

Fandoms published: 3 (technically if you look at my AO3 tagged fandoms for the year it’s 8, but I’m just going to group all the DCU together).

It’s ended up being my biggest year in terms of story output; being back in a fandom which is causing me brainrot as far as prompts go and where I have a bunch of mutuals has definitely been helpful for the writing. My longest finished fic ever is now 24,306 words, and I’ve cleared 40k this year. 

In terms of my all time stats: I’ve got three new stories in my top ten as far as kudos go (at 5,7 and 9 as I write this): all the Vorkosigan has dropped below 10th now.

Most popular story: there’s an endless road to rediscover. Given how I wrote this then fussed worrying for several months over what its reception would be, I’m glad it went well, especially as it was my first time tackling Damian characterisation and I wasn’t confident with him yet. It’s doing better than I expected, ranked next to everything else. 

Favourite story written: Um. Hmmm. Part of me wants to say Orange Juice, because I just really enjoyed how fast that one came together, but really it’s the picture frames have changed and so has your name, no question. My most ambitious project, the source of so much brainrot and theorising. The day I figured out how the solution to ‘what happened to Dick’ (because that was the last big moving piece that came together to make the story work - the solution) was a wonderful one, because I kicked my feet with delight and then had to work really really hard not to reveal the secret to everyone I immediately wanted to tell how clever I was. I was SO SMUG.

Best reception: the picture frames have changed and so has your name definitely gets the award here. Everyone was super nice about it, I got to see so much theorising, it’s currently sitting on 116 comment threads, and honestly all the support to push through and get it written was worth it. Came out so good! You were all really generous!

Favourite underrated story: Tea for Two. I just like the balance of how much stuff I layered into it and that it was detailed enough I sent someone who I KNOW is hugely into No Man’s Land scurrying off to the comics to check I had got certain details correct. It was a fun write with very specific goals to hit, and stylistically exactly what I like doing. I also love the concept of the Mother’s Day series and am thinking through what additions I want to make to it in 2024. 

Favourite title: I actually really enjoyed some of my title choices this year, but I absolutely cannot go past I’ll hold your memory in my hands tonight in terms of title. I came up with it, then I giggled, then I thought about how dark the joke was, then I giggled again. Helena held the thank you letter from Tim! Barbara held the plushie of Tim! Dick held Tim’s brain! I’m so awful.

Hardest story to name: bones of a dinosaur, bones of a city I honestly did not know what to call this story, so I ended up essentially opting out of naming it. I think it works, and has joined the storied realms of ‘story titles I’ve invented quotes for’.

Themes I noted in my stories this year: ‘Let’s write about mothers and sisters’ popped out a lot. There’s a lot of death (and discussions of deaths), which unfortunately ties back into the mothers and sisters thing. And a lot of Tim and his relationships with his older siblings: Dick, Barbara, Helena and Cass.

Commentary: well look who fell back into DC fandom and wrote fic. The bunnies attacked and the fandom itself enjoys short stories. On top of that I had, hmm, two ‘sort out the draft I have sitting here and publish it’ stories that went out this year. Becoming Miss Burgeson had been hanging around as an idea more than a story since I finished Invisible Sun in 2021, because not only is Rita Douglas a fascinating character, but also there are SO MANY identity shenanigans over the years in the Burgeson family. Erasmus’ comments on being a Burgeson in particular were the heart of the fic (because everyone forgets Erasmus ALSO is an assumed name). Nobody using the name was born into it and everyone chose to adopt it as a cover. Now Rita’s not nearly the most complex figure here (Miriam’s name situation is even wilder), but due to the complexities of Miriam/Helge’s names, Rita acquired three extra surnames by the transitive nature of being Miriam’s natural daughter. Actually I SHOULD sit down and work out what Rita’s braid name should actually be. I also dusted off Just Skate Figures enough to post the main bits of it, because I was tired of not having the Axel and Minami scene, at least, posted where other people could enjoy it. 

[missmoodring]

Willow Creek, Blue Velvet Longue December 14th, 2023

Tonight, if anywhere was the place to be, it was the Blue Velvet Lounge. Marlene Sato made sure of that.

Marlene graciously smiled at her guests. They danced merrily to the jazz band, laughing amuck and spilling their drinks. Marlene excused their behaviors with a frail smile. Even though she was disturbed that the attendees showed no grace, she had to remember these people were partying for a good cause.

This event was a last minute effort to raise funds for her charity, Every Child Deserves. Marlene was only a few thousand dollars away from her goal and year end was quickly approaching. Marlene knew in order to shrink the gap, she needed to pick up the phone and called a person who knew a person and everything would be squared away.

“You remember I have to work in the morning right?” Bethany questioned. She peered over at Sabrina across the table. Bethany Landers had driven for hours from San Myshuno to be here with Sabrina Fox tonight.

“Of course. You have to work everyday.” Sabrina answered. Bethany released a deep sigh that flickered the table’s candle.

“Excuse me,” a voice as crisp as freshly washed cotton sheets, shot through the room.

“Oh my.” The words fell from Bethany’s lips. Sabrina peered over the balcony at the woman in the red coat. Bethany had heard so much about her but this was her first time seeing her in the flesh.

The woman easily commanded the room’s attention.

“Thank you for attending Every Child Deserves holiday charity event. I am grateful to be able to gather such kind and generous people together for a great cause. I remember looking forward to Winterfest as a child. For me, it wasn’t just about the gifts. I loved watching Winterfest films with my family while drinking hot chocolate and wearing matching pajamas with my sister. And at ECD, we believe every child deserves to have such fond memories too. So I promise that every dollar donated will be matched by one of our lovely sponsors.” The crowd erupted into an applause.

“Thank you. As promised, open bar is until midnight. As we wrap things up tonight, please keep in mind the children and remember they too deserve a chance to experience holiday joy!”

The cheering continued as Marlene made her way off stage.

“She sure knows how to work a crowd.” Beth commented. Sabrina nodded her head and took a long sip of her drink. “Yeah, she always knows just the right things to say.”

Bethany peered at the her phone. It was quarter after eleven. Bethany released another loud sigh as a signal that it was time to go. This time, Sabrina obliged and the ladies made their way downstairs.

“My dear.” It was a familiar voice that had stopped Sabrina and Beth in their tracks. Quickly approaching them was thee Marlene Sato.

In close proximity, Bethany could better make out Marlene’s face. As the ladies exchanged greetings, Bethany quietly compared the two. She has always known Sabrina to be beautiful but Marlene was absolutely breathtaking. There was just something about Marlene that just glowed.

“Marlene, this is my top client, Beth.” Sabrina introduced.

“Ah, yes! Mayor Bethany Landers. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you! I know it was a long drive from San Myshuno. Thank you for being here.” Marlene said.

“I should go to the ladies room before we leave. Marley, keep my client company.” Sabrina said before running off.

“I may be Sabrina’s client but I’m definitely a long time friend too. I’m glad to finally meet you too! Sabrina says so many great things about you, Mrs. Sato. I think tonight was fantastic. Great turn out! I throw events like this too. Actually, I’m having one next week. Please join us.” Bethany said. Having The Satos, the owners of today’s most prominent company in technology, at her holiday party would be a great look for Mayor Landers. Her inner circle would die if she could pull this off.

“Of course I’ll be there. And I’ll make sure my husband is there too. It’s the least I can do since you came all this way and made such a generous donation for such a great cause.” Bethany smirked.

Perfect.

The ladies continued their cordial conversation until Sabrina rejoined them. Marlene gave Sabrina a warm hug before dismissing herself to go mingle amongst the last few patrons.

“What do you think of her?”

“She’s…pleasant.” Sabrina nodded in agreement. That was a perfect word to describe her sister – pleasant.  

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The night was finally over. As the last few patrons made their way out the door, Marlene made her way to the bartender.

“No thank you, sir. I think I’m just going to grab the donations and head home. I’m exhausted.” Marlene imagined kicking off her shoes, taking a hot shower and then fall asleep next to her husband, who was probably still up working too.

“Madame. Great event. How about a toast to celebrate?”

“No thank you, sir. I think I’m just going to grab the donations and head home. I’m exhausted.” Marlene imagined kicking off her shoes, taking a hot shower and then fall asleep next to her husband, who was probably still up working too.

“Donations? Your assistant handled it already. He picked up all the checks not too long ago.”

“The other bartender, Mikayla, said that at the end of her shift, a man came up to her and said he was your assistant and collected all the payments. She told me before she left that she gave it to him. He said his name was Shio.”

Marlene froze at what the bartender revealed to her.

“Antonio, I don’t have an assistant.”

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[elvensorceress]

wip Wednesday 

tagged by my loves💕  @rogerzsteven @dickley-buddie @spotsandsocks @eddiediazisascorpio @monsterrae1 @swiftiebuckleys 

tagging the amazing @homerforsure @ajunerose @the-likesofus @octobertulip @gaydisasterdiaz @oldsouldreamer85 @shortsighted-owl @mansikkaomenabanaani @fatedbuck @lostinabuddiehaze @blutterlie @messyhairdiaz @swiftiediaz @bekkachaos @thatbuddie @hetrez @megslovesbooks 💕

Here’s a little more of the Christmas fic I’m working on for the Hallmark fic fest extravaganza 💕 It’s the end of the boys putting up lights on the hotel together.  ❄️

They’re almost all the way across the building now, which is good because daylight is clearly fading and it’s ridiculously cold and Buck could really use some real food in his stomach before he has to work the party. 

The man doesn’t look at Buck while he says it, but he explains, “There was a plane crash. Some years ago. In December. We — my son and I — we lost most of our family. His mother, my mother, my sisters, my grandmother. All of them.”

Buck stills, and watches the man carefully. In case he continues. In case Buck can figure out something to say. Or do. How do you fix that kind of tragedy? How do you even make something like that heal or feel better? How can you live knowing all the people you love are gone? “I’m so sorry.”

The man nods in acknowledgment but keeps working. “We never really… had Christmas after that. And we should. I want to change that. My son should have happy Christmases. More than anything in the world, I want him to be happy.”

The words are so heartfelt, so deeply real, Buck can’t believe they’re being shared at all let alone with him. And he suddenly finds himself wishing he could also give happy Christmas memories to this man’s son. He has a feeling the man in front of him could use a good dose of happiness as well. 

In a completely innocent and not at all sexual kind of way. Unless that would make him happy? But whatever Buck meant it in a general way. Not other ways. Even if he’d totally be up for it. 

God, would he be up for it. 

They finish hanging the lights and pull the cart back to the open window of the penthouse suite. Buck doesn’t know what to say but he really wishes they could have a little longer. 

The man doesn’t immediately climb back into the hotel though. He looks out over the city with lights starting to flicker on and clouds rolling in above. There are tiny flakes of snow falling with the breeze now and Buck is pretty sure he doesn’t even have legs or hands anymore. They’ve gone numb and fallen off somewhere. He shivers and tries to pull the collar of his old jacket tighter around his neck. “Th—thanks for your help. It is much faster with a partner. I’m glad you decided to come risk your life with me. I—I hope? I hope you and your son have a really good Christmas.”

The man looks at him with more softness than has ever existed. His face is reddened by the cold and the wind now, but it gives him a rosy glow against the sky of sunset. The colors are darkening, fading from the clouds, but there’s something golden and warm in him regardless. Buck could stare into his deep brown eyes for hours. Buck could do a lot of things with him for hours. But he won’t. He’ll never see him again. 

The man climbs back through the window, with Buck’s hands to steady him, but he turns quickly once inside and remains in Buck’s arms with hardly any space between them. 

Buck’s heart leaps into his throat and his stomach flips and the man holds onto Buck’s shoulder and arm. His eyes are dark now, beautiful burning depths of darkness where everything is lost and found and secret. 

He lets go of Buck but doesn’t pull away. He remains close, leaning into him as he pulls the thick navy blue scarf from around his own neck then drapes it around Buck’s. He layers and tucks it neatly into the collar of his jacket and it’s so much warmth, more than Buck can ever remember being wrapped around him. 

“Thanks for letting me help,” he says quietly. “I think everybody needs a partner. I hope you have a good Christmas, too.” The man tugs the jacket tighter around Buck and pats his chest like it will keep everything warm and inside and in place. Then he steps down from the window and back inside his hotel room. 

[murfeelee]

End of Year Collage - Best of 2022

Rules: Find your fave pics of your story or your blog in general and post them up in a collage! :D it can be 1 picture or 100 whatever you want. But just reflect on your fave moments in your story or on your blog. It can be cute moments or pictures you’re just really proud of.

I did this last year and decided to make one for 2022, to celebrate simming, the one source of joy I got out of another crapfest of a year.

I did even less simming this year than I’ve ever done, so some months once again have no entries, which depresses me. I doubt 2023 will be any better, but here’s hoping! 🤞🤞

MY THOUGHTS (for each month) under the cut:

January: New Years Miniset

I did diddly squat in January, just uploaded my New Years miniset that I had made for Magnus Bane’s birthday the December before.

February #1: Lunar New Year | February #2: Black Girl Magic Collection

Still no gameplay this month, but I got a lot done as far as CC, uploading my regularly scheduled holiday sets for Lunar New Year and Black History Month. Shortest month of the frikkin year, but I’m always swamped in February.

March #1: BLEACH \(^0^)/ | March #2: Let them eat cake!

I went nuts in March, trying to rush to get as much Bleach inspired gameplay done as possible before my schoolwork and birthday plans for April all caught up with me. Didn’t get nearly as much done as I wanted, but I had fun, regardless. Ironically enough however, y’all were more interested in one silly post I made where my Sakura & Ryuu sims assassinated Marie Antoinette! XD

April: Modern Male Witch Project Part 5

My latest installment recreating Brenna-Ivy’s Modern Mages went off without a hitch. Made an EFFTON of CC for y’all on my birthday, and had a blast!

May: Didn’t do any simming in May, as I needed to recover from blitzing the last 3 months.

June #1: The Untamed cont’d | June #2: Pride Month: Asian LGBT+

I took advantage of my Summer Break from school to continue my The Untamed gameplay. Some of my favorite posts ever, right there. Plus, it was Pride Month, so I was able to double-time it with Hanguang-Jun(e) Month and an cool Asian-themed LGBT series of weekly posts from some of my fave fandom ships: Nagron, Malec, WangXian, Andynh, and Adoribull.

July: Mighty Nein

I did more of the Modern Male Project, but definitely the best gameplay of the month (and arguably my whole YEAR) came from my Critical Role inspired posts. Y’all were going bananas; I loved seeing how many D&D fans were out there! I’m definitely doing more this year, it was way too much fun.

August: TW3 Skellige

My witcher!household went a-viking in Ard Skellig, as I tested out a bunch of new CC I was uploading that month. 

September: Nada. I was in the TRENCHES at school; I got hit with one massive project after another, ISTG it was like the department wanted to see if I would effing crack under pressure. STILL HERE, WENCHES. I hate grad school.

October: The Untamed cont’d

Halloween was the perfect time to deal with Wen Ning, so I HAD to squeeze in some more Untamed gameplay for the holidays. 

November: Wei Wuxian’s Halloween/Birthday

I was late posting in time for WWX’s bday on Halloween, but was just glad I managed to make a post I’d been dying to do for a LONG while, showing Wei WuXian get reincarnated as Mo XuanYu.

December: Interview with the Vampire

Y’all. Y’all know? How effing HAPPY I am that AMC made this dang show? I love every bit of it; eff the book purists. This is how you do an adaptation RIGHT, by ELEVATING the source material and updating the content for modern audiences. BRAVO.

________________________________________________

Thank you everybody, followers, mutuals, lurkers, and all simmers who continue to support me and The Sims 3, and like my content!

Happy Simming, and Happy New Year!

[twopoppies]

Hi Gina! I hope you’re well! That will probably sound a bit weird but it’s been bothering me a lot the last few days and you’re one of my favourite accounts that definitely feel like a safe space. So back in very late 2020, I’d say mainly December and November I had a really weird feeling that was making me feel somewhat anxious. Basically I felt that there was something off with this entire DWD thing and Olivia mainly, I felt like there will be something happening with them but I’m partially blaming it on years spent on Twitter and the fact that anytime Harry is seen with a blonde, skinny woman everyone immediately says they’re sleeping together or "watch out, they’re gonna be a couple soon" lol I still don’t get why twitter stans are this way and I’m glad I already left that side of social media. Anyway, we all know what happened shortly after and let’s just say it was definitely not a happy time, my god she was so annoying, it made me want to throw up sometimes. And once the official BUA came out I was just so happy that she’s finally gone. Now, after I saw that Harry’s friends and generally, people around him are still liking her posts, stuffs like that it made me kinda confused. I don’t know, I guess you could call it some sort of ptsd after this shitshow at this point. And well, this feeling that this happy time won’t be lasting that long won’t leave for the past few days. So, I’m sorry for ranting but just wanted to ask your opinion on this all. What do you really think will happen now in the near future? Do you think they will ever reunite them at some point? Or if it’s not for Olivia then do you think they would make him stunt again sometimes soon with another woman? Obviously everyone is better than her but I’m just hoping that he will get some peaceful time now for at least a long year if not more. Kind of how it was after Camille. Do you think they’ll want to drag him around with some new girlfriend now or just let him be his "single" self to the world? Thank you so much in advance for answering and I’m sorry for the probably needless rant but it’s been making me really uneasy in the fandom aspect, the past few days. Hope you have a great day Gina! x

Hi honey. I think it’s just helpful to acknowledge that we don’t know anything about why his stunts happen, what is involved contractually, or what the end goals are. From an outsider’s perspective, it would seem ridiculous to bring her back. She’s almost universally hated, he seemed miserable, and his reputation seems to have suffered due to the way the stunt rolled out and was handled. He’s also overexposed to a point where people are now starting to think it’s cool to hate him. So doing another high profile stunt seems pretty pointless, IMO.

In general, I just think it ruins my enjoyment of fandom to focus too much on things that make me unhappy. Especially if I’m worrying about things that may never happen. I don’t know how to make you stop future worrying, but for me I just try to focus on the good things that are happening now — like how happy he looks on tour. And maybe stay away from places like twitter where rumors and fear mongering seems to run rampant.

[cloudcountry]

AAAAAAAA I’M HAPPY YOU LIKED IT SO MUCH!! :DD THANK YOOOUUUUU

HDBFGJD YES WE SHALL BEAT UP BEETHOVEN’S DAD TOGETHER 👊💥 And phew, I’m glad I was kinda right about there being kids mncvbmfg-

And yes, Beethoven and MC as friends!! 👏 He would absolutely dedicate a piece to them- He’d probably title it something like “The Beginnings of Friendship: Bagatelle”

I was cackling reading your commentary- I love your enthusiasm!!

Ngl, I was supposed to stop there at the dialogue pieces for Beethoven, but then I accidentally stumbled upon character cards for Ikevamp characters… And you know what I had to do 🧍 Yeah, I made a whole mock character card for him- (Only in text though- I don’t have any editing programs-)

~~~

Ludwig van Beethoven

The Fiery Maestro

Intense and emotional, the prodigy began playing in public at seven years old. He usually spends his days in the mansion’s garden or music room, thinking of new melodies. Despite his hot temper and sharp tongue, there’s a sense of loneliness hidden in him.

Birthday: December 16 [Fun fact: We actually don’t know the real Beethoven’s birthday,, he was baptised on December 17, so it’s generally assumed he was born the day before.]

Height: 162 cm

Occupation: Composer, freelance musician 

Hobbies: Hiking through nature, billiards, card games

Dislikes: Dishonesty, lying

Specialty: Musical improvisation

Weaknesses: Cooking, math

Favourite food: Macaroni and Cheese

Hated food: N/A (Food is little more than sustenance to him. He doesn’t really care for it; if something’s meant to be edible, he’ll eat it. Though, he does prefer more simple dishes)

Vampiric Type: Lesser Vampire [I’ll be honest, I’m not sure what’s the deal with vampiric types, so I’m kind of going off of what I’ve read and pure vibes-]

“To tremble in my music is your honour.” 

~~~

Ikevamp Beethoven 🤝 This Clavis Ikepri fellow

-Makes the most horrendous soup known to mankind

Jhbdfg But yeah!! Beethoven is straight up a horrible cook,, I actually made a mini scenario based off of this; One time, he was assigned to make dinner for everyone, and uh… The results were less than optimal- Beethoven spent almost two hours in the kitchen, huddled in front of a stove wearing a blue apron, and dinner was served. He made soup, which Doyle later could only describe was “more suited for charitable scraps given to dogs outside taverns.” The beef he did was half done, better suited for an animal. Vegetables floated in the ’soup,’ which was a mixture of water and grease, and the roasted meat looked like it was done in the chimney. 

Of course, no one could say anything about it, because if they did, Beethoven would literally, viciously, mercilessly tear them apart, mostly verbally. (The last time he got really angry, he stormed off to the music room, banged on the piano for like thirty minutes [creating the loudest half hour of everyone’s life], and six piano strings were broken as a result.) So they just kept their heads low and tried to eat. They couldn’t do it. It was barely possible to even choke down a few bites, so they just stuck to the bread and fruit he provided.

He was never assigned to cook dinner ever again.

Vincent, about Beethoven: Whenever I hear such a man march behind me, I can’t help but get nervous. He’s a force to be reckoned with, for sure!

Doyle, about Beethoven: I like his music, no doubt about that. But, it seems like he conducts his music better than his own temper.

Oh, and one more thing about Beethoven!! You know how Beethoven’s speciality in musical improvisation? That’s not an exaggeration- Both the Ikevamp Beethoven and the real figure are actually really good at it-

[Note: Yes, this is based off an actual event]

Beethoven: Daniel Steibelt? …Hah! I haven’t heard that name in a long time. Yes, I remember him quite well. He once challenged me to a piano duel, where we both had to improvise. 

MC: An piano duel?

Beethoven: Yes, though, to be more accurate, they were improvisation contests. These contests were a popular form of entertainment in Vienna’s aristocracy. One nobleman would support one virtuoso pianist, another nobleman would support the other. In the salon of one of the nobles, the two pianists would compete with each other, each setting the other a tune to improvise on, and the playing would go back and forth until a victor was decided.

Beethoven: But I digress. It was agreed that Prince Lobkowitz would sponsor Steibelt and Prince Lichnowsky would sponsor me. The improvisation contest would take place in Lobkowitz's palace.

Beethoven: Steibelt played first. He went to the piano, tossed a piece of his own music on the side and played. Steibelt was renowned for conjuring up a ‘storm’ on the piano, and I must admit, he did this to great effect. He received great applause, and it was my turn to play.

Beethoven: I picked up the music piece Steibelt tossed aside, his own work, and then I turned the paper upside down. I played that piece, sight-reading it backwards and I improvised, imitating and picking apart Steibelt’s so-called ‘storm.’ I played for more than an hour, and I didn’t notice that Steibelt left after only thirty minutes of my playing. 

MC: He left before you finished?

Beethoven: Indeed. After he left, Prince Lobkowitz, the man sponsoring Steibelt, then said to me that he was so humiliated that he would never set foot in Vienna again as long as I lived there. What a foolish thing to promise. 

[And ngl, it was kinda foolish! Beethoven lived in Vienna for the rest of his life, and true to his word, Steibelt never returned. Oh, but Beethoven actually played the first four notes of Steibelt’s piece before varying them… Those four notes would then become the impetus that drove Beethoven’s Third Symphony. That feels like rubbing salt in the wound at that point,,]

Jackdaw Anon 🐦

HAHSGFDH OFC I DID YOU PUT SO MUCH WORK INTO EVERYTHING YOU DO ITS SO ADMIRABLE :(( I WISH I COULD EXPRESS HOW EXCITED I FEEL EVERY TIME I READ THROUGH YOUR STUFF HSAGDFHASGD

beethoven's dad is gonna catch my fist in his mputh RAHHHHH

“The Beginnings of Friendship: Bagatelle” SSOUNDS SO FANCY :((( TAHTS SO KIDN OF HIM HELLO!!!!!

HE LIKES HIKING!!! HES SO REAL FOR THAT OMG and his weaknesses being math is so real.

PLS THAT SLITERALYY HIM EXCEPT CLAVIS DOES IT ON PURPOSE. EVERY BAD INGREIDENT IS INTENTIONAL ITS SO BAD. poor residents though :((( LIKE SORRY BEETHOVEN BUT ISAAC DESERVES GOOD FOOD GHSDFAHSDFAS

BEETHOVEN KICKED HIS ASS DAMN,..,., MUSICAL DUELS ARE ALSO SO FUNNY TO ME BECAUSE IT SEEMS SO DRAMATIC AND FUN LIKE??? two guys absolutely smashing the keys of a piano to figth each other is hialrious i want to wathc it so bad GAFSDHGASD

why are musicians so petty HEKPLP

[mccarthawrites]

Thanksgiving with the Barnes

Relationship: Bucky Barnes/OC!Rachel Barnes

Rating: General Audiences

Summary: Bucky and Rachel host Thanksgiving in their small apartment.

Author’s Note: Rachel’s sister is Rose Roberts from Agent Carter.

Words: 1354

The Barnes Masterlist || Bucky Barnes Masterlist

It seemed like Rachel had been planning this Thanksgiving dinner for months. It was the first one she and Bucky were hosting since he’d come home. She invited his parents and siblings and her siblings, Rose and Fred. It would pack their tiny apartment, but it would be worth it. Despite his best attempts to help, Bucky couldn’t do much now being one-handed, so Steve was tasked with getting Bucky out of the apartment so he didn’t focus on not being able to help. So they decided to walk around Prospect Park for a few hours.

Rachel enlisted the help of her sister, Rose to help her cook and Bucky’s mother, Winnifred, showed up early as well.. Winnifred bought Rose and Rachel new aprons as an early Christmas gift. They came in handy with the three women doing their best with the small kitchen.

“George is bringing a small folding table because I don’t think Katie and David are going to fit at the table with the rest of us.” Winnifred explained as she prepared the Turkey.

“I’m sure we can squeeze them on the table.” Rachel told her.

“But he’ll bring the table just in case. Especially if your brother is coming. That’s ten of us.”

“I guess you’re right. I’m so glad you’re all joining us. I know Bucky is happy about it too.” Rachel explained. “It’s been a long year, but 

“Freddy said he might stop by for a beer or two. He’s probably eating at aunt Gladys’ house.” Rose reported.

“He’s going to come by and get a second dinner. You know how he is.” Rachel laughed. Alpine sat on the dining table, watching them curiously through the kitchen pass-through. Also probably trying to figure out how he was going to get a piece of turkey.

“How is my boy doing?” Winnifred asked. “He’s been adjusting well?”

“I think so. He’s okay. Just hates the prosthetics is all. I told him he doesn’t have to wear one for dinner.” Rachel explained. “But he’s already talking about having kids.”

“It’s about time.” Rose playfully elbowed her sister.

“We’d have to find a bigger place if we wanted to start a family, though.”

“Have you been looking? You could get a house in Queens.” Winnifred suggested.

“Queens? I don’t think Bucky wants to leave Brooklyn.” Rachel replied.

“Little dark haired blue-eyed babies. Imagine it, kid.” Rose smiled.

“I hope they come out looking like Bucky. They don’t need anything from the Roberts side.” Rachel laughed.

“Why? The Roberts have beautiful women.” Winnifred replied.

“Thanks, Winnie.” Rose smiled.

When Bucky and Steve returned to the apartment most of the cooking was done. They hung up their coats.

“Smells good in here!” Bucky knew better than to step foot in the kitchen. “You ladies doing alright in there? Need any help?”

“We’re fine.” Rachel greeted him with a kiss, but if you could set the table, I would greatly appreciate it.”

“Will do. Do you need anything else?”

“No. We’ve got everything else covered. Maybe put on a record or the radio.”

“Okay.”

“No Christmas music!” Rose yelled. “It’s too early for Christmas music.”

“What are you talking about? The radio has already begun playing Christmas music.” Rachel returned to the kitchen.

“Christmastime doesn’t start until the day after Thanksgiving. They’ve got it all wrong!”

“Sure, Rose.”

“You haven’t even gotten your Christmas tree up yet, so you agree with me somewhere deep inside.” Rose teased.

“We haven’t gone to get our tree yet.” Rachel told her.

“We usually don’t set up our tree until the first of December. We have an artificial one so we don’t have such a mess at the end of the season. Oh! We found Bucky’s ornament from his first Christmas. I have to drop it off sometime soon.” Winnifred explained. “We have one for all of them.”

“That’s adorable. I wish someone would just marry me already so I can have cute family traditions already.” Rose whined.

“It’ll happen. You just have to stop looking for love and it’ll find you.” Winnifred replied.

“How’d you meet George?” Rose asked.

“He was working on my daddy’s car. He was so handsome. Asked my daddy’s permission to take me out on a date. The rest is history.” Winnifred explained.

“Why can’t I have that?” Rose asked.

“You will.” Winnifred smiled. “Stop worrying.”

“What about the man from work?” Rachel asked.

“Which one?” Rose laughed. Someone knocked on the door. Steve opened it to find George and the kids.

“Happy Thanksgiving!” George called from the front door.

“Happy Thanksgiving.” Steve smiled.

“Where’s Alpine?” Katie pushed past her father into the apartment.

“Hi, Pop.” Bucky greeted his father.

“How are ya, kid?” George asked.

“I’m doing alright.” Bucky took George’s jacket and hung it up.

“I brought a table for the youngest incase they didn’t fit at the table.” George set the folding table against the wall.

“I think we’ll all fit at the table, but thanks.”

“Hi, Buck.” Rebecca hugged him.

“Wow! You’ve grown at least four inches since I last saw you.” He teased. Her eyes narrowed, unimpressed by him.

“Hello, ladies.” George greeted them through the pass-through. “Do you need any help in there?”

“Not yet, but you can bring the turkey to the table in a few minutes.” Winnifred told him.

“That’s great news! I thought we were going to have to wait longer to eat. It smells so good in here. I cannot wait.” He told them. David and Katie had found Alpine and were playing with him. “How’s the factory treating you?” George asked his son.

“It’s alright. Nothing to complain about.” Buck shrugged.

“If you ever need a change of scenery, you’re welcome to come work with me at the garage.”

“Thanks, but I already told you, I don’t think I can work on cars with-” He pointed at his empty sleeve.

“We’d find a way. They’ve got prosthetics nowadays for nearly everything. I’m sure there’s one for mechanical work.”

“That’s okay, Pop. I don’t mind the factory.”

“George, can you bring the turkey to the table?” Winnifred asked.

“Only if you give me a kiss.” George got up and walked to the kitchen. Winnifred kissed him as she handed off the turkey.

“See. That’s what I want.” Rose commented, making Rachel laugh.

“Come on. We gotta bring this stuff to the table.”

“Honey, that's what I had children for.” Winnifred replied, teasingly. “David and Katie go wash your hands and help us bring things to the table please.”

Once they had brought all the food to the table, everyone was seated. Winnifred said a prayer and they began going around saying what they were Thankful for while Steve carved the turkey, starting with Winnifred.

“I am grateful that the war is over and my family is together again. I am also grateful that we’re all together today.” Winnifred smiled. “George?”

“I’m grateful to see all my children around this table. I’m also grateful that we have Rachel and Rose in the family.” He playfully winked at Bucky.

“Oh. Uh- well I’m glad you’re all here. I’m grateful for my wife and this meal that she prepared with mom and Rose.” Bucky took Rachel’s hand in his and kissed it.

“I’m grateful Bucky is home. And I’m grateful for you all. So thank you for being here. Rosie?”

“My turn? Well I am grateful for the Barnes family. You really are some of my favorite people. Who’s next?” Rose asked.

“I’m grateful for Alpine!” Katie exclaimed, making everyone laugh.

“I’m grateful that we’re all together again. Like mom said.” Rebecca kept her eyes on her plate.

“I’m grateful for-” David thought about it for a moment. “I don’t know.”

“Could be anything.”

“Oh. Well- I’m grateful for mom, Rachel and Rose for making the food!” David told them.

“Stevey?” Winnifred asked.

“I’m grateful for everyone at this table. You guys all mean the world to me.” He continued carving the turkey. Bucky and Rachel’s heart swelled with the love they had for everyone. For the first time since the war ended, things seemed normal again.

[btscarnivalnet]

Headliner of the Month

Hello, Carnival Goers and Performers alike. Please give a round of applause for our Headliner of the Month: Our Wonderful Performer: Satvrn @herecomesjoon You are our Headliner of the Month! During this month, we want to showcase your incredible talent and skill and share it with the Carnival! For this month, we want you to pick three fics of yours that you’d like us to showcase, and we also wanted to ask you some questions so we can understand how you write, why and what you want to get across with your fics.

All questions are answered based on these three fics. Please read and give them some love!

A Year Of Sunshine Summary: You had always talked about being parents, but you didn’t imagine it would happen like this. Pairing: Jungkook x Reader Rating: 16+

A Brand New Day Summary: Moving away from home is terrifying, especially away from family. A lot can go wrong. But when you move cross country and start your first year of college, you learn that making your own family where you are is what will help you through the next several years. Pairing: Jungkook x Reader x Jimin x Reader x Hoseok Rating: 16+ Light Jar Summary: You grew up with him, and fell in love with him, knowing in your heart that he would never feel the same. An escape to college brought you stability, and you were able to set aside your adolescent feelings. When Namjoon showed up at your college coffee shop, you realized that those feelings never went away.  Pairing: Namjoon x Reader Rating: 18+

When did you start writing fics, and why? 

I started writing BTS Fanfic specifically in December of 2021. Dec. 11th is the one year anniversary for my first fic in the fandom. Overall though, man I think I published something when I was 16 or 17, so 2006 or 2007. But I’ve been writing in general as a way to explore the ideas and feelings I’ve had but had never had the courage or energy to explore. My introduction to ARMY was one that was pleasant and safe, and so after several months of just watching from the sidelines. Liking fic after reading them and reblogging visual content, I took the plunge. I started writing Light Jar first, but Switch ended up being the first published. Which looking back was the better call. I feel like if I had forced myself into completing Light Jar first, the final chapter wouldn’t have been as cathartic as it was for me. 

I think fanfic in general is a safe space for people to explore themselves. To indulge in ideas and fantasies that they can’t otherwise. And along the same lines, play by post roleplay is similar. Being able to put yourself into someone else’s shoes lets you think about these things. 

What was your first fic? (provide a link if you want?) First published BTS fic, Switch.

What is your latest fic? I’ve written several drabbles, but full length oneshot, A Year Of Sunshine

Fic Specific Questions

Why did you choose to write about the fics you have chosen? 

AYOS was started as an exploration in grief and mourning at a time that I really hadn’t experienced that. Outside of my grandmothers passing back in 2015, all of my family are still around, though I still miss my Grandma every day.

Sadly, the passing of my husband in September 2022 changed that. However, I’m glad that I had this fic as a way to comfort myself. A gentle reminder to lean on the people that were still around me, and that with time comes healing. In that way, AYOS has quickly become my favorite thing I’ve written.

Light Jar was a love letter to my roots in role play and my younger self. The plots and relationships that me and my friends would build together were wild and dramatic. The knowing looks from your friends, and the exasperation when two people you care about are so obviously in love. In a way too, this mirrored my own relationship with my husband, which at its core, was a solid friendship.

A Brand New Day was originally going to be a one-shot and it quickly grew out of hand. I wanted to write a ‘I fell for my grumpy neighbor’ fic that quickly got bigger than it should have been. It’s still incomplete due to life happening, but it still is one of the fics that I am most proud of. Because I did start writing this earlier in 2022, and while I was still figuring out how I wanted to approach writing fanfic, I decided to have a named reader. I think if I could go back and start again, I would just have Charlie be an OC and I should have written in the more familiar and comfortable third person. 

One of the things that I like about this fic too is that although it is written from Charlie's perspective, I still found ways to show the relationships between the guys as well. I know that Member x Member fic aren���t the most popular, at least here on tumblr, but the desire to share and tell queer stories is important to me. I wanted it to be clear that all of the guys had a relationship before Charlie, and her being added into the mix didn’t suddenly change the dynamic that they had before. It felt dishonest I guess, to have Hobi, or JK say that suddenly, they didn’t want to continue their relationships with each other all because some girl came along. And more importantly, that she wasn’t needed to make whatever they had whole. 

As it were, I still really love this fic because it was a comforting message of leaning into your own feelings and letting them just exist without overwhelming. I still have a lot of plans for Charlie and the guys, so I can’t wait to share those with everyone

What was the most memorable line for you in each of the fics?

A Year of Sunshine

“NO! IT’S NOT READY!” She came running out of the closet, half dressed in one of her nice dresses and sparkly leggings. 

“What’s not ready?” You noticed that she had pulled out the Army Bombs that you had gifted her over the years and used hair ties and scarves to attach them to some of the squishmallows.

“My concert isn’t ready!” She shouted at you again and pushed you back towards the door and out into the hallway.

Light Jar

You still could hardly believe it, and you touched the tips of your fingers delicately to your lips, still able to feel the way he melted into you. It felt right, like he was the missing piece to the puzzle of your life, and you could hold it in your hands, seeing how the contours of him would fit so snugly and seamlessly. The only thing to do now was to press him into place, right where he belonged with you. 

What was your writing process like for each fic? 

I start most of my fics with a very specific feeling in mind, usually accompanied by a little scene. I remember early on in writing ABND there was a scene with Jimin, Jungkook and Charlie that was such a clear picture in my mind. I actually wrote it before I started the first chapter of that fic. And then as a sort of test for the idea, I did write Something Borrowed, which is a glimpse of Charlie deep into her relationship with the guys and really coming into her own. I could see so clearly in my mind how she and Namjoon would start dating. 

All of these moods and vignettes sort of become the center of the fic and I build around them. I ask myself, how do we get to this point? What has to happen in order for these feelings and events to make sense? And what happens after? Are these characters where I want them to be by the time this scene happens, and if not, how do they proceed?

What do you hope readers will take away from the fics?

The biggest thing I hope people get is just a sense of comfort. I also hope that I can trigger some sort of memory or feeling, especially when I describe places or the quiet moments between two people.

Why do you keep writing? What drives you?

My need to create. I had a 7 year dry spell, and when I was finally finding joy in writing again, I just could not stop. Ultimately, I create for myself. I write the stories that I want to read. Having other people read them and enjoy them is a bonus. 

Any writing goals you’ve recently hit? Any goals that you are planning to hit?

It’s already been a year since I published my first fic in this fandom. In that year, I have published a little over 88 thousand words. If you take into account all of the WIP stuff, I have over 100k. I know it’s not a competition, and no award is waiting for me for accomplishing this, but I am still proud of myself. Each word that I’ve written is proof that I still have things to say. Still have things that I want to explore and share. I hope in the next year, I can maybe have part two of the Seven Ways To Love series. Who knows, maybe I can double that yearly word count. 

[valorant-reverie]

I posted 4,895 times in 2022

That's 302 more posts than 2021!

31 posts created (1%)

4,864 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@grich-witch

@imadhatt3r

@spockpandasaurus

@lyriumrain

@shit-zu

I tagged 3,578 of my posts in 2022

Only 27% of my posts had no tags

#fe3h - 653 posts

#crobs - 600 posts

#tiktok - 294 posts

#lgbtq - 177 posts

#byleth eisner - 150 posts

#few3h - 129 posts

#claude von riegan - 126 posts

#memes - 119 posts

#blue lions - 108 posts

#sylvain jose gautier - 106 posts

Longest Tag: 119 characters

#‘she’s not one of us’ ‘she’s only doing it for attention/to prey on other women’ shut the fuck up you sound like a terf

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

really weird seeing the sudden opinion of consumers of interactive fiction that the whole world has to revolve around the MC? that everyone has to like them and instantly think they’re the best thing ever? like… no???

8 notes - Posted April 27, 2022

#4

8 notes - Posted August 30, 2022

#3

presented with absolutely no context

21 notes - Posted August 4, 2022

#2

Dreamling - Recreated

(sorry I’m on the app and I can’t do read more - if you don’t wanna read then you’re gonna have to scroll 😅)

Anything can be reborn in the Dreaming. Perhaps the recollections of another who had walked the ancient walls of the White Horse Inn would not have recreated it in their mind so authentically, and at the same time a man who had seen so many different iterations of it ought not to have solidly identified one. But Hob Gadling was not an ordinary man, and his eye for detail may have found trouble for him in the past, but in this instance it proved a boon.

He faced down the Endless with a quiet smug smile.

“Well? What do you think?”

Dream’s gaze cast about the pub - an almost perfect recreation of their first meeting many hundreds of years prior. There were one or two bricks out of place, true, but the building still stood. Perhaps that serving girl’s bosom was not quite so generous in life, but in Hob’s mind, it suited her. And currently Hob imagined himself in faded jeans and an aged leather jacket, quite out of place in a smoky tavern somewhere in the Middle Ages of England.

“I have seen worse attempts at easier things,” Dream provided, but Hob knew better than anyone to watch for the quirk at the corner of his mouth… and there it was. Faint amusement. As much as he would deign to show to a mere mortal. Did Hob even qualify as that anymore, he wondered?

He chased the thought off and gestured to a free table in the middle. It was not the large one that he and his fellows had sat at when Hob had sealed his deal with Dream, but rather a smaller one with only two seats; more akin to the others they had taken in subsequent meetings.

Dream sat, sweeping his long black coat out behind him with an inhuman grace.

“Drink?” Hob asked.

Dream shook his head. “Not on the job, no.”

“A joke!” Hob grinned, “Are you sure you’re feeling alright? Didn’t think you had it in you.”

“I am glad I can still surprise you,” Dream responded, “But… you wanted to speak with me.”

It was a statement, not a question, like another might have delivered it. Hob had noticed that Dream did often did that.

25 notes - Posted December 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

okay this dynamic but Dreamling? anybody?

64 notes - Posted November 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[iressails]

helloo it’s your santa again!! thank you so much for your response, it’s giving me tons to work with which I love ❤️ 

I firstly just want to point out that this paragraph “I do love a tragic romance. I love a queer tragic romance. I need my characters to be absolutely crazy in love and making bad decisions because of it. Mutual pining!  Anything Jane Eyre 2006 also works (because Ruth Wilson AND Toby Stephens).” was so real, you have amazing taste and I have major respect for people who like heartbreak 👀 

you make points about how typography is used in a gifset and I find myself agreeing - it can be beautiful but sometimes even I reblog things without reading what’s on them just because it’s too hard to make out, which probably takes away from the purpose of there being text on the gifset? but such is the medium we’re working with I guess!

true that gifmaking puts you in touch with your more creative side; as someone who loved to engage with artsy stuff when I was younger I’m glad I have this small little hobby to keep in practice. I'm very happy you can come back to it too after such tedious and important work ✨

anyway, I have some more ‘out of interest’ Q’s for you! Is there anything you’re looking forward to doing/seeing this month? Any pressing opinions you currently have? Thoughts on coming to the end of this year?

have a good day!

-ccss anon ☃️

Hello again. Heartbreak is like the best icecream in my book. Better when they do eventually get it together, much to be said for happy endings too.

Gif has it's limits, for sure. But where else do you get to shape and bend time and colour and tell story and change reality all at the same time? It is a great hobby because you get to look at things a different way, an artistic way that we aren't really afforded in most contexts you know? Really high barrier to art, but gif, sort out your process and it just... gives. Creativity is so important to living well, too.

I agree with you though it can be beautiful, after all that I have seen some amazing examples where the text draws your eye in just the right way and it's a smooth read.

Onto your questions. Do you mean on the gif front or otherwise? I do love seeing what people have come up with for the end of year sets, like the summary gifsets.

Generally I'm looking forward to going to see friends after christmas and for the new year. There's some end of the year summer holidays too over December and January and not being at work, which is great. Hanging out for those to be honest. Every year I think it's been a tough year, but it really is like that for everyone I think over the last few pandemic ones, for sure. What about you?

[kinetic-elaboration]

December 21: Today's Productivity

I didn’t do any writing today but I got a variety of other things done and so feel sufficiently accomplished. Also just generally more normal, I guess, which makes me feel optimistic.

I continue to not sleep too well… I stiffen up when I sleep and then I keep waking up to turn over. And then this morning I woke up with a terrible backache. So that slowed down my morning a lot. I did go out for a walk, and though I was not as spritely as usual, I do think it was a good idea, and I’m glad I did it. I think it might have been one of those things whose good effects are felt but just not right away. Then I helped my parents set up their new downstairs TV. I’d say I was quite helpful in the actual unboxing and moving, very helpful in the setting up of the Bluetooth headphones, and pretty unhelpful when it came to remembering what remote to use to complete the set up. It did take a while, but it wasn’t that terrible or frustrating a process.

I was hoping I might write after, that was the plan, and I did feel… like I wanted to write, like I wanted to get in that headspace and put in that effort. Alas, it was far from me. I took a shower but failed to get in the mood to actually create, but as I said, I did other useful things instead: I sorted through my gmail, cleared off my desktop, and then updated my monthly word counts, which I lost track of back in MAY. I haven’t done the final tally yet, in part because I still have writing time left in December, but I’m pretty sure it will come out to over 100k. This is very good for someone who feels like she never writes and she didn’t accomplish anything writing-wise this year. I think part of it is that I did lose a lot of the summer (well, “lose”) to planning a project that I then decided I didn’t want to write. But it’s also that I wrote the majority of those words on a project I never thought I would write, the Time Loop fic.

Which is like… all fine. There are no moral values to attach to any of this. That’s just hard for me to remember sometimes.

This vacation, I’ve been doing a complete Daria rewatch, my first in quite some time. And I’ve been really enjoying it a lot. Today I remembered that I actually wrote a Daria fanfic back in the day, and I looked it up and reread it. It was actually way better than I thought it would be, given that I wrote it twenty (20!!!!) years ago, when I was a teenager. I found it in a folder with other stuff written in the 2003-2005 era, most of which I had totally forgotten about: some original works, some fanfic for minor fandoms that I had no memory of ever writing. I really had a freedom with my creativity then. Maybe it came in part from not posting anything online. Maybe it just came from being younger and better understanding what a ‘hobby’ is. Maybe I obsessed about all of those stories too, at the time, and gave myself a hard time about them, and I’ve just forgotten that process as much as the final product. I don’t know. It was kind of wild to see it all again though.

[watsonphotog]

Self portrait. Nikon d300S. December, 2020.

Hey there, Tumblr. It’s been a while.

I had written SO much and then the draft decided to just... shit out for some goddamn reason. Glad to see this site still absolutely choogles ass.

Regardless, as much as I’ve been inactive on this website, and now as pissed as I am that I lost ALL THAT WORK, I really have been feeling the urge to start photoblogging again. This time, I’m feeling more blogging how I’m feeling along with my images, so a touch more personal than before. For some reason, I had sort of thought that was the original idea behind this thing.

But we’ll see.

Where do I even begin...?

So much has happened since that last post, and it’s nearly impossible to summarize almost 8 years in one shot, but I can probably gloss over it.

I, in fact, did not put my life back together after that last picture. In fact, I am pretty sure I fell into the deepest depression of my life a few months later. Like, only eating an apple, an orange, and two bananas each day because you couldn’t afford any more food nor did you feel like eating anything else level depression. Did wonders for my weight, but it just about shattered my ability to form and maintain memories. Seriously, my college years are kind of just a blur now, which is incredibly depressing, because I know they were some of the most important years of my life, but they’re just... gone. Not all gone, mind you, but there’s an overwhelming amount of fog there. It destroyed my relationship with a lot of people, or at least made me fizzle out in their lives... I lived for Loki, my family, and to do nothing but work. People would reach out, and I simply could not bring myself to respond. It didn’t get better for a long, long time. In retrospect, it’s honestly a miracle I’m still here... honestly, if it wasn’t for Loki or my mother, I probably wouldn’t be. I am better now, in a way where I at least am not at that level. Still haven’t gone to therapy, but I’m at least looking for one now and don’t feel like I’m at that rock bottom anymore.

To be fair, the drinking didn’t help the whole memory holes thing I mentioned, either. I wouldn’t call myself sober nowadays, but one very important memory I have in college is the time I had to work at a convention while hung over as fuck, and between hating working after a night of booze, working at least 5 days a week, and the fact I was making piss poor nothing out of college, I stopped drinking almost altogether. I won’t say no to a drink (unless I’m really not feeling it), but I think that I have a far more healthy relationship with alcohol nowadays.

Speaking of jobs and making piss poor nothing- I have been working at that same job since I got hired on a hail mary chance shortly after graduating. I am going to do my best to never name it by name on this blog (they have kind of a funny social media policy, and god help me if any of my management friends/cohort/coworkers ever find this), but I will say it’s a well loved convenience store in the mid Atlantic region and leave it at that. Nowadays, I am an assistant general manager, which is a hell of a step up from the like 8-something dollars an hour I started at. It wasn’t an easy path, and it certainly had some downfalls, but right now I am happy where I am at and I still believe in the company and what it stands for. Plus, it pays the bills, so that’s nice.

I’m still living in Philadelphia, in the same apartment I moved to after leaving The Lost World behind. It’s on a quiet(ish) little corner on the boarder of Fairmount and Brewerytown, with lots of trees nearby and some beautiful sights in walking distance. The rent is cheap for the area, my landlords leave me to my own devices, and it’s a relative hub of transit options. I’ve had a few roommates in my time here... most have not been great, but I did get to live with Luke (a highlight) and the one roommate I had here for maybe 5-6 years, Issy, ended up being one of my best friends. Right now, Loki and I are doing the solo living thing, and with my raises at work and some strict spending management on my end, it’s honestly not terrible. I’m really enjoying not having another roommate, and I hope I can keep it up for a while.

Speaking of Loki... my lil old man is doing alright. He’s had a few health scares over the years, a few bladder issues that kept him on medicated food, a heart murmur, and now thyroid problems. He’s like 13 or 14 at this point, so it’s to be expected. I think about how he’s old quite often as of late, and it fills me with a sense of dread. I don’t like that he’s in the twilight of his life, even though he still acts like a kitten with running and playing and being a little ridiculous goofball. I really can’t imagine my life without him.

As for brighter things...

I finally got over my fear of basic math and took a stab at playing Dungeons and Dragons a few years ago, and I am so glad I did. It’s honestly been a life changing thing for me, and a huge part of my social life nowadays. I started DMing in 2017 or 2018 on my birthday, and while COVID put most of the campaigns I run on hiatus, I’m slowly getting back into the DM saddle. It’s helped me make some amazing friends while also express some of those crazy story ideas I’ve had rumbling around in my brain since I was a kid. Truly a 10/10 experience.

I somehow ended up as a Twitch affiliate, and I actually get paid to stream nowadays. I was part of enough D&D streams on my own that it motivated me to start streaming games again, and shit, it paid off. I’ve been a key organizer in at least 5 fundraisers now, and helped raise a shit load of funds over the past few years for some awesome causes while doing some ridiculous things online. It’s been a great experience.

Perhaps the most shocking of all things, however, is that I finally made the discovery and come to grips with the fact I’m polyamorous. If you’ve known me for as long as I’ve had a Tumblr, this is probably pretty shocking, especially given that my first experience with polyamory was less ethical nonmonogamy and more my ex sleeping with whoever she wanted guilt free because she couldn't do long distance relationships and I was some sort of weird emotional crutch for her, and it traumatized me to the idea for a long time. However, in my last major relationship, I had this realization that I could probably happily be in a polyamorous relationship if the communication was there, and while I wasn’t willing to sacrifice my monogamous relationship to find that out, if there ever was a reason I was single again, I was going to try it out. Well, after we split and then COVID ruined everyone’s lives (and another pretty unfortunate relationship), I tried the solo poly thing for a while, because the person I needed to date the most at that point was myself.

Well, I kind of failed at that part a bit, as now I have not one but two girlfriends. Sarah, who is married, is the first, and Katie, who I am definitely going to marry, is the second. I met Sarah around August of 2021, and while I was supposed to be just a fun time bonus thing for her (she was in two other relationships at this point), she eventually caught the feels and we eventually talked it out. I met Katie in November of the same year, and it was like finding everything I ever wanted in a partner in a single human being. I won’t say it was love at first sight, but it was definitely love a lot quicker than I think I was comfortable with admitting. I’ve had a few missteps along the way, and it’s occasionally been a bit messy, but it’s been a great experience regardless and I am very happy with my relationships.

If I had to ask 2015 Ian, as he looked into that broken mirror on that October night, what he thought his life would look like nowadays, I don’t think he would have believed me if I had told him almost all of his expectations were wrong. But I think that’s probably a good thing.

I don’t really have much else to add to wrap this up, only that I am going to try my damndest to actually blog here a bit more and get some of the feelings and thougths I have off my chest. I don’t really think any of the followers I have on this Tumblr use it anymore, nor do I think many of them would really care what I have to say anymore. This isn’t for the notes or views, though.

This is for me.

Til next time...

[moutainrusing]

bathrobes >>

thank you! i’m feeling better, i hope you also feel better despite the cold and grey! i think everyone’s mood always fluctuates, so it's normal to have slightly worse days, i know i’ll always have better ones later. it's just so DARK, i have to wake up at 6am: it looks like night, then i get home at 5pm: it looks like night… so it feels like i’ve spent my whole day at school and now it's time to sleep… do you ever feel like you’re more tired during winter too? because other animals hibernate, and i feel like i partly hibernate too😭

snow is so cold! it looks very pretty, but going out in it is🥶 (i embody that emoji) but winter is cold even without snow, so i agree, snow at least makes the coldness better. hopefully you won't have to go outside in the snow too much, and you can observe it from afar🤞

same! we’re both born in june! when you said you need the sun, i immediately thought “you’re photosynthetic”😌😭 i love lazy days in the heat too! i prefer being outside, but i also like doing nothing, and summer lets me do both. why do your friends love winter? all my friends agree that spring/summer are better, i thought that was the general consensus… autumn would be good, except now it's as cold as winter🥲 christmas is the only thing that makes winter warmer, i think the reason it's in december is to make the dismal weather seem brighter, there are christmas lights as it gets dark 24/7, huge decorations, fun everywhere, warmth… but as soon as that's over, it gets grey and gloomy again, i can picture the discarded wrapping paper, taking the lights down… overall, i definitely prefer summer. after christmas, it's still winter and it's miserable😭

universities always have such cool and specific courses. mechatronics sounds super interesting already. is it related to mechanics and electronics? are you planning on doing those things for a job in the future? practicals for it sound amazing, and you guys seem to get a lot of cool equipment, like soldering? that’s awesome. do you get to work collaboratively, and how long do all these courses take to complete? (they sound hectic!) it’s fine that you can’t explain, but that really does sound complicated😭 and crazy, because, with a pencil? a whole instrument? which worked? crazy. i’m glad it was like a fever dream for you? absolute vibe. please tell me about more practicals and courses, i’m gonna hope that one day i’ll understand…

i think uni kicks everyone’s butts, but i give you my eternal sympathy, you’re doing awesome just by being there. and yes, appreciate the good things: coffee and friends!! (you put coffee first, life must be rough😭)

a-levels (advanced level qualifications) must sound so weird to people who don’t have them… they’re 2 year courses for people aged 16-18 and they’re considered ‘further learning.’ they’re optional, students can choose any path after gcses (exams for 15/16 yr olds which are ‘general certificates of education’) but in my opinion, a-levels are the most useful to get into uni. we can choose 3 or 4 specific subjects and learn about them, more in depth than we did for gcse level, in preparation for uni courses, which will definitely be even harder. at the end of the a-level courses, we take the exams which cover all the knowledge, and those grades are sent to the unis of our choice to try and get in. feel free to ask me more questions if you want :)

i don’t mind the system? i haven’t really known any others, and i like going in depth into the subjects i like. sometimes i wish i could do more, but that would be a LOT of work, and i made sure to choose the subjects i enjoyed the most. which are a really strange combination, i chose: maths, physics, spanish, english literature. right now, i think i like maths and spanish the most, because physics is confusing me (i still love it though) and english is just fancy texts, which have inspirational messages when you analyse them, but they’re difficult to read!

hellooo you are one of my favourite moots so when i ask you how you are, you can’t be dry about it :) HOW ARE YOU?!

hey!! Thanks for the question, it's too sweet of you!

I'm doing okay! Usually hate the November grayness, it's really horrid outside, and I do wanna lounge in bed most of the time. However, I think it's been good to stay in touch with my friends.

University can be a pain most days, but my friends are the best part of it all, and I love them all so much. (Knock on wood hahaha). Anyway, its an interesting course at uni, I'm having fun with it, even if it's a bit tough.

I just miss the sun. I miss bright summer days that were warm! But at least I can curl up in a blanket with a hot cocoa and read, so that's something to look forward to!

What about you? How have you been?