#like I wasn’t born yet (I’m 20) so I forget it’s like

[iuteamstarcandy]

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[TRANS] IU ‘Pieces’ Album Introduction and Song Introductions

IU [Pieces]

The pieces in between my 20s that I didn’t bother to take out

1. Drama

It’s a song that I wrote when I was 20. I composed it because I wanted to cheer up a friend who was going through a breakup and was being very pessimistic about love for a few days. Although I didn’t release it yet, I have so much affection for this song that I sang it for my concert en-encore [T/L note: another encore after the encore] every year without fail. I occasionally tried to write songs with similar emotions, but it seemed like I was just trying to imitate (a version of myself from) a chapter that had already passed in my life, so I stopped doing that.

When I sang it during concerts, because I was in the moment, I could sing it easily and cheerfully, but while recording it, I realised that this was indeed totally different. Out of all the songs I recorded this time, I had the most difficulty with this song, trying to find the character [get into character]. In order to bring out the atmosphere during concerts as much as possible, there wasn’t any special arrangement done for this song.

I’m sincerely grateful towards my fans who didn’t forget the existence of the song ‘Drama’ and strongly requested for it to be released officially. ‘Drama’ is in between ‘Hold My Hand’ which made my blood boil (with ambition) because it was my first (self-composed song) and ‘Friday’ which I was already feeling pretty relaxed about, before I knew it. This song which I was not ambitious about nominating (for this album), because it’s a precious song that I hold close to my heart, perhaps is the reason and theme for this collection of (music) pieces.

2. Next Stop

I started writing this song when I was 25, so by the time I was done, I was 26. There are some songs whereby the lyrics and melody come to my mind together, like a piece of music born with the two as one. It had been awhile since I had a song like that and this was one of them.

It can’t be helped that (I am) biased towards such songs.

There wasn’t any format or particular chord work that I worked hard on, but the moment I wrote the first verse as easily as breathing, I was so in love with this song.

But even then, I forgot about it. Heh.

It was a year later when I encountered my character ‘Jian’ in ‘My Mister’ that I naturally took on that character and was able to finish the second verse. While there was no plan cast in stone, it was a song that I definitely wanted to release one day. Beyond being a storyteller, but as a top liner [T/L note: person who composes the main melody of a song], I think this song contains my most central emotions as a creator.

This is the only song that we mixed in the vocals from the guide version. It contains both my voice from 3 years ago, as well as my current voice. I sang it calmly back then, by now I sing it in a way that appeals (to emotions). Ironically, it might be because it’s all in the past now.

Between Jieun and Jian is a ‘station’.

The two are connected by the distance of a station.

[T/L note: literal translation of the Korean song title is ‘The Station’.]

3. Winter Sleep

It started out as a sketch when I was 27 and had more thoughts than usual about a life leaving this world and about being left on such a world and I finally completed the song when I was 29, after experiencing several more huge separations.

It contains the story of welcoming the first year alone after sending off a beloved family member, friend or pet. It was a track that the lyrics were not difficult to write due to the clear plot in the order of spring, summer, autumn and winter, but in comparison to that, (the whole song) took a much longer time to be completed. That’s because I wanted to use direct expressions, yet I didn’t want the emotions to turn out to be too superficial.

This song took the longest time to record.

I’m usually the type to try my best to be as concise as possible in my expression during recordings, but for this song, I didn’t feel the need to hold back my emotions. Instead, to maximise the feelings of longing, I tried to go for a rather bold(?) arrangement in the precursor to the interlude in the middle of the song and not in the second half of the song [T/L note: question mark used in the original text]. That’s also the reason why the song is based on piano, unlike the other tracks.

Even though a great loss came into my world, there were flowers blooming, stars coming up and poems being born out there without delay. In between these repetitive seasons is ‘winter sleep’.

As I sing this song, this time I really won’t break down anymore. They’ll know this isn’t a lie.

4. You

This is a song I wrote at the age of 24, when I was filming a drama in the mountains, so I couldn’t go home for days and I missed my friend who lived upstairs so much. [T/L note: IU was filming the drama ‘Moon Lovers’ and missed Yoo Inna who lives in the apartment above hers.]

I remember immersing myself in my character of the historical drama I was filming for ten minutes and imagined myself to be writing a postcard to someone far away, not knowing whether it would reach the person and with that, I affectionately wrote the lyrics line by line.

I thought hard about whether to include this track or not.

Many years ago, I had already told my fans that I did not intend to release this song, so in my mind that was the end of it. Then one day as I was surfing on YouTube, I happened to listen to this song again after a long time and saw in the comments that there were more fans than I had thought waiting for this song to be released. On top of that, perhaps because I had written the song sincerely, the lyrics in the song still touched my heart.

Feeling uncertain about whether I would include it in this album, I sang this song in the recording studio again after about five years and amazingly, starting from the first verse, it just came out right.

This is the only song that I let my fans listen to in the one and only year that I did not have any music-related activities in the 14 years of my singing career. [T/L note: It was an untitled april fools song that IU uploaded on her fancafe for uaenas.]

Between ‘Chat-shire’ and ‘Palette’ is ‘You’ wanting to slowly and quietly flow along.

It’s probably the song (title) with the least syllables out of all the songs I’ve worked on.

5. Love Letter

I sketched this song at 26, completed it when I was 28, and “even” gave it to another artist. It was the first time ever since I started composing that another singer sang my song. [T/L note: Previously IU only wrote lyrics for others’ songs, like Cherry B’s “Her” and Jung Seunghwan’s “The Snowman”, Seulong’s “The Moment” and Sam Kim’s “When You Fall”.]

Last year, I went on KBS ‘Sketchbook’ and sang this song, which gave me the opportunity to work with Jung Seunghwan, who is a singer I admire. When we working together on this song, I briefly explained to Antenna and Jung Seunghwan about (my plans) to release this collection of my pieces and earned their consent to release the song. I wrote the lyrics based on the scenario of one half of an elderly couple leaving the world first and writing a final love letter for the other half who is left behind.

If Jung Seunghwan’s version is more calm and refined, I wanted my version of ‘Love Letter’ to be delivered in a more straightforward manner.

The arrangement of the song is fairytale-like and lovely, but I tried to make the vocals sound solid and the song was comparatively easy to record. I also tried to vary the ‘da-o’ part each time it was repeated throughout the song.

The last part of the lyrics, ‘I am still there, remaining in your heart, more than anywhere else’ became the seed of the last track ‘Epilogue’ in my 5th album ‘LILAC’. It’s also something that I want to tell my fans that I am grateful for, who have known me for a long time, know me (for who I am) and continue to want to know me better.

In between a novel and a letter, with this ‘Love Letter’ that I pressed my sincere emotions into and wish to send to those who love me, I close this collection of my (music) pieces.

Translated by IUteamstarcandy

[mahvaladara]

Fannar giggles and chirps, causing Arlo to smile softly. That was the most adorable thing ever, Fannar chirping, like a blue little bird. Perhaps he should have nicknamed him something else, like birdie. It sure fit.

Yet, Fannar’s expression saddened and they looked at Arlo with an expression that for a second, Arlo despised. Pity. 

Fannar: I kinda hate that I wasn’t around to make things different. If I had met you sooner, I would have been your friend! I would never let people throw you in the trash. I would have found a way to come to you, me and my twin, we’d keep you safe! We’d be your friends, we’d... hunt ghosts with you and do seances and maybe conjure Cthulhu together.

Arlo chuckled and shook his head. No.It wasn’t pity, he realized. No. Compassion. Hope.

Arlo: You’d be like everyone else, Fan. I’m not likeable. I’m a bitch, I’m mean... You’d look at me and think “heh, here goes Looney Lo again provoking people to kick his ass.”

Fannar: I still wish I could have made it different. I’m sure I could have done it different.

Arlo: Perhaps... But that plot is already written. No way around it. Just hope no one notices the plotholes.

Besides, I probably deserve being thrown in the trash. I smell like something crawled under me and died.

Fannar shook their head: It isn’t funny Arlo. It’s not... fair... When you told me you were going to college, I hope things would be different. Young Adults should be better than this. How old are you by now?

Arlo shrugged: Young adults are just teenagers who can drink. And 20 I guess? I kinda used to measure my age by my brother. Since I moved out, I actually need to do mental calculations to figure it out. Irony of Ironies. I remember what year I was born but keep forgetting how old am I... Though, as my dad says, after a while, age is just numbers.

Fannar: Come on, there had to be a number on your birthday cake.

Arlo: I don’t celebrate my birthday. Haven’t done it in years. There was... well... My dad tried to bring me cake once or twice when I was a kid, but when the pain got worse, him bringing me cake only made it worse... So he spared me having to sing happy birthday and pretend tomorrow would be better.

[lovestuckyhatemarvel]

Chapter Six: E Pluribus Unum. I’m gonna vomit on the Duffer Brothers, I swear to God.

1.) I forgot that Russian recovered from a head wound that knocked him out super fast.

2.) I also forgot how close they got to the gate during their escape.

3.) Robin and Steve hold the doors so Dustin and Erica can escape. Also there’s no conversation before it happens, Steve just kind of does it and Dustin is like ‘I won’t forget you’ and leaves.

4.) This chase would be more impressive if it wasn’t relying on gross CGI. Like, the demogorgon is objectively a less scary design but because there was a dude in a suit for a lot of it, it’s still more impressive than the mind flayer at the end of the day.

5.) The mind flayer is connecting all of the victims, right? So could Heather see what her father was doing? Could she see his last moments before he was killed? Could she feel it?

7.) Mayor Kline presents Fun Fair.

8.) The carnival ride that the Russian holds the mayor in goes wicked fast. Does that ride normally go that fast or is this like the elevator?

9.) Strawberry and cherry slurpees taste different, Hopper. You absolute animal.

10.) I’m glad he likes strawberry too. And glad Hopper finally wasn’t stupid.

11.) Lucas Charles Sinclair.

12.) Erica is such a little sister to be like “Everything else tracks, but my brother is a little bitch so that part doesn’t.”

13.) Dustin knowing that much about My Little Pony is actually a little weird from what I know of the franchise. Bronies are more modern.

14.) My poor boy Steve. This part I remember a lot because it’s put in so many fucking Steddie fics. Steve is actually a very good liar. I forgot he offers them ice cream though.

15.) The Russians illicit the most terrified laughter out of Steve by laughing.

16.) Robin is so worried about Steveeeee.

17.) Robin spits in his face. I forgot she did that. My queen.

18.) Mike is being a ridiculous white knight.

19.) Hopper is having an absolute panic attack after learning about the upside down.

20.) “Breaking in is impossible.” Cuts to the literal children who managed it.

21.) lmaooooo Erica casually saying, “Deadly weapon, could be useful” is one of the best lines of this season.

22.) Steve was unconscious for IDK how long. Also I think he’s got a broken rib.

23.) I love Robin and Steve so much.

24.) I just realized I don’t know why Steve and Robin were in the same sophomore English class if they’re not in the same grade. Did Steve have to repeat sophomore English or did the Duffers not realize they were in different graduating classes yet?

25.) Could the props department not make that needle retract? It’s like barely against his skin.

26.) I forgot the kids don’t check on Steve or Dustin like at all.

27.) We got a flashback to El’s bio mom.

28.) I believe this episode takes place July 4th, 1985, which makes it exactly 4 years before I was born. That’s not relevant to anything, it’s just interesting.

29.) I feel bad for baby Billy, but not adult Billy. Adult Billy still wanted to kill Lucas and did nearly kill Steve. And neither of those things happened because of the Mindflayer. And his dad being shit isn’t an excuse either. I was abused all throughout my childhood and I never beat someone into a concussion.

30.) “Thank you, and good day!” Joyce screams into a phone.

31.) i forgot how funny Robin and Steve are when they’re high.

32.) Oh I forgot a fingernail almost gets ripped out before Robin announces they cracked it in a day.

33.) I forgot that somehow Dustin ended up with the deadly weapon and probably killed the torturer.

34.) Okay so Billy’s speech makes more sense now in hindsight considering what I know about season 4 (although I did not watch season 4 yet like at all).

35.) I forgot Billy’s the only Flayed person that doesn’t turn into bad CGI goo. RIP disposable people.

[duchesstopaz]

*Trigger Warnings: Descriptions of physical abuse, mental abuse, emotional abuse, parental abuse, verbal abuse, child neglect, threats, anxiety, panic attacks, violence towards children.* Monday, June 19th, 2023 6:32pm

Today, we’ll be diving into the wonderfully enraging topic that is my stepfather.

It is truly baffling yet underwhelming that a man such as he, exists. And till the day I die, I will continue to wish the most ruthless hell for that man. So, let’s start from the beginning…

The thing about James is that he’s a deceiver. Someone with many masks, with two sides like a coin, a shapeshifter, if you will. I will never forget the first night I met James, I was only 7 at the time. You could feel the dishonesty in every breath he breathed, with words that hid his true identity. I remember telling my mom I didn’t like him when she asked, after he left. Whether fortunate or unfortunate, she remembers too. 

I learned the context for his odd behaviors long after the time, but he always hated the house we lived in at the time. He would always come home irritated for some unknown reason, acting in very brash ways. My mother would inform me years later that he hated living in the same house, sleeping in the same bed, eating at the same table, as the boyfriend that came before him. So, I guess the only logical solution would be to move, right? At least partially, no?

We had a wonderful 3-bedroom, 2-bathroom house, around the corner from my Nana. My younger brother and I had friends in the neighborhood, and would scooter around the corner to see our Nana, Grandpa, and Uncle. We went to a science academy, and my mom was doing absolutely marvelous as a single parent. But we moved. To a 2-bedroom, 1-bathroom house, 20 minutes to the next state, infested with roaches and mice, all for a little over $500 a month because dear old stepdad had a friend! And as a bonus (which was really the whole point), he got to call everything his! And did!

Anthony and I are almost 4 years apart, so I was almost 8 and he was 4. We moved churches, and it was like you were a completely different person. You would smile and laugh and joke and would be affectionate. But then again, there were people saying, “Oh, look at well behaved your boys are, James!”, “Your boys are so handsome, James!”, “I know they’re going to grow up just like their daddy!”. Umm… excuse me miss, sir, I’m standing right here and THAT is not my dad.  

We would go to our local BlockBuster and would be so excited to see the amazing place that brightened our eyes every time we went. You know, because every kid loves an outing. But, of course, it wasn’t for us. Ever. We weren’t allowed to look at the kids movies, weren’t allowed to ask to see the games they had, just wait for James to pick out the 4 or 5 movies or tv shows that he and his fiance (our mom) get to watch. Thank the universe for Nana for getting us a Wii, because all there was before that was trying to find ways to play with each other or watching wildly inappropriate TV with our “two parents”. Because seeing nudity and sex scenes are important for 8 and 5 year-olds to become men, right James?

Remember that time when me and Anthony were giving each other wedgies because we thought that shit was hilarious? Then, you punched me in the face so hard I flew into and broke our bookcase? Remember that time I stayed up all night playing video games, and you held and choked me against the wall? Remember that time when we lost one of the games we rented from BlockBuster, and after we found it, you threw every single toy, movie, book, game we had in the dumpster? And if not, oh well, because it didn’t stop there!

After my little sister was born, time sped up real fast. All of a sudden, they’re getting married, while just the five of us are standing in the pastor’s office, and I’m holding Malia and deemed “best man”, the day after my birthday. He said to me, “Well, now when you’re grown, you can tell your girlfriend that we got married right after your birthday!”. Then, we’re changing the house layout to where their bedroom and the living room are switching places because we need more space. I’m, now, given the esteemed responsibility as “baby-sitter” at age 8. My mom was pregnant again, and my sisters were going to be 10 months apart. Oh! And the most important bit, Anthony and I were now, “not his kids” (trademark it), and the violence got so much worse.

So, as he built himself a kingdom amongst rags instead of riches, where he is the sole king (without a queen), everyone else became his servants.  Everything in the house now had the possessive “my”, every single thing done in the house needed to meet your standards, everyone had to heed your requests and desires, no matter how untimely, and everyone had to be your audience as you spoke of promises for better that never came.

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

[messers-moony]

King and Queen | S.B

Paring: Sirius Black X Fem!Potter!Reader, James Potter X Fem!Twin!Reader

Summary: James goes through a lot during his time at Hogwarts but his sister is always by his side.

Inspiration: Click

A/N: If this comes off insensitive to anyone please let me know and I will remove this.

James Potter was a handful. From the minute he was born, he had this gleam in his hazel eyes that raged and burned with trouble. His twin, Y/n Potter, was almost the opposite. The soft smile that laid on her features and the glitter of calamity in her eyes. Euphemia and Fleamont were in for a lot the minute their twins were born. 

Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder is most comparative to having a web browser up with one too many tabs. James had always been unable to focus and was naturally messy. Truth be told, he thought it was normal, just as everyone else did. It wasn’t until his second year at Hogwarts did he realize something was genuinely wrong with him. 

Remus told him that he had this muggle thing called “dyslexia,” which was a difficulty in interpreting words, letters, and other symbols. However, it never affected his overall intelligence because everyone knew that Remus Lupin was indeed and wholly brilliant. It got James wondering, did his inability to focus, be organized, and hyperactivity have a deeper meaning?

His twin - Y/n - was quite the opposite. She made quick friends with Remus, Sirius, and Peter, who were close friends of her twin. Y/n was top of their class, creating a friendly competition with Remus, but she was always able to focus. Often she would hyper-focus, which would leave her working for over five hours at a time without realizing it. In those times, James would have to snap her out of it. 

Over the summer, James expressed his concerns to his parents. He was talking about how this could be a real issue he’s facing using Remus’ dyslexia as an example. Eventually, they gave in, letting James go to a muggle doctor. James had to fill out a questionnaire that would come back with his results in one week. That week was probably the longest week of his life. Nonetheless, his test results had come back positive. 

Fleamont and Euphemia would be lying if they were surprised. After hearing about the disorder, it was almost the definition of their eldest son. Fortunately for James, the muggles had come up with a cure - no, not a cure - dammit, what was it again?

Impede the symptoms! That’s what those muggle pills do. James was required to take two pills a day, one in the morning and once at night. Y/n was in charge of making sure he did so because - more times than he’d like to admit - he would forget everything if it wasn’t for Y/n. 

In third year, James was as energetic as ever while getting on the Hogwarts Express, “Aren’t you excited, Y/n?!”

She chuckled, “Yes, but Merlin, you don’t need to literally jump with joy.”

“But I’m excited!”

“I know that.”

They made their way to the compartment that held Remus, who was reading a book. James sat in front of him while Y/n took her seat beside Remus, “‘Ello Remus.”

“Hey, Potter pair.”

Y/n sighed, and James groaned, “That nickname needs to go away.”

“I quite like it.” Remus stated smugly, “Suits you both.”

“What’s that suppose to mean?” Y/n accused falsely, “It means that wherever one of you are, the other isn’t that far behind.” Remus replied. 

James had zoned out already, and Y/n snapped in his face, “Take your pills?” 

“Forgot.” James muttered guiltily, “Oh Godric.” She whispered. 

“Pills?”

“James went to a muggle doctor this summer.”

Remus quirked an eyebrow, “Did you now?”

“Got diagnosed with ADHD.” James informed, and Remus looked amiss, “Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder.”

“Ah, I’ve heard of that.” Remus said, and James smiled sheepishly, “I feel kinda odd, like out of place.”

“Why?”

“Dunno, just, why can't I be normal?”

“You are normal, James.” Y/n reassured, “And anyone who says differently obviously doesn’t care about you.”

The compartment door slammed open, “Who doesn’t care about who?”

Remus snorted, “Ever the dramatics, huh, mate?”

“‘Course.” Sirius flopped down beside James, “It comes with my charm and devilishly good looks.”

“Ah, yes.” Y/n said, chuckling, “Don’t you see how I’m swooning for you?”

The back of her palm was against her forehead, “Come off it.” James swatted at her and then elbowed Sirius, “Better not make my sister swoon.”

Sirius chuckled and shrugged, “Can’t help it. I’m just that irresistible.”

The four of them laughed at Sirius’ dramatics and continued talking about the new term. Remus and Y/n were talking about books they couldn’t wait to read. Remus was even kind enough to gift her some muggle books he bought over the summer holiday. Sirius and James bickered about what pranks to do this year, along with which ones were better. 

Third-year was fun. It was a year of flooding corridors, turning Slytherin robes red and blasting music in the common room after a Gryffindor victory. James was a brilliant Quidditch Chaser, and Y/n was a fantastic Seeker. Nothing was quite like the Potter pair. Something about them was just unforgettable. 

Maybe that’s why Sirius was so fond of her. Something about the Potters made people around them smile on the hardest of days. They made sure that every moment was a night to remember. Every memory was worth reliving. So adventurous, so reckless, yet so kind and loving. 

By the time fifth year rolled around, Sirius Orion Black had fallen off a cliff into a lake called love. Sirius completely submerged himself in love for Y/n Potter. The younger twin by just 20 minutes, but something about her was so divine. Was it her silk and glittering h/c hair? No - maybe it was her gleaming e/c eyes. Perhaps it was for her strive for adventure and extreme kindness. 

Nonetheless, Sirius fell hard.

And who better to tell than James Potter himself?

Causally - as usual - Sirius opened the door to the Marauders dorm. It was empty aside from the brunet boy with glasses on the bridge of his nose. His hazel eyes were focused on a textbook - Potions textbook - maybe it was to impress Lily. Sirius couldn’t care less, so he pulled the chair out in front of the desk and sat before James. 

“Mate, I need your help.”

“Running from Filch?”

“No. Something- Something worse.”

“Something worse?” The textbook shut loudly.

Sirius nodded, “Way worse.”

“Alright then, come into my office.” James teased, and Sirius grinned. 

It was silent, “I’m in love with your sister.”

James sputtered, “Excuse me?”

“I’m in love with Y/n.”

“No, no.” James waved his hand horizontally, “I heard you.”

“Then what else would you like me to say?” Sirius asked. 

“Literally anything else.”

“Sorry, mate.” Sirius muttered, “I- I really didn’t mean to.”

James chuckled and wiped his hand across his face, “I suppose you can’t really stop love, huh?”

“You really can’t.” Sirius agreed, “I tried. I promise I tried.”

“It’s not that big of a deal late.” James assured, and Sirius looked at him with wide eyes, “I trust you just-“

“Just?”

“I’m worried about her.” James completed, “I- I worry about her every night.”

Sirius softened, “It’s like you with Regulus-“ James continued before Sirius could interject, “And don’t pretend. Your silencing charms are bloody terrible.”

“I know you still care for Regulus, you worry about him every night, and I do the same for Y/n, except my silencing charms are better.” James teased sightly, “I trust you, Sirius. You’re the brother I never got but always wanted. You know, the brother I can play Quidditch with, rough around with, the brother who’s just as sneaky and mischievous as I.”

“But Y/n is still my blood. She's my twin, my best friend, my partner in crime. She was the mind behind my pranks before Remus.” James elaborated and then smirked, “Remus and Y/n make a great team, ya’ know?”

“They are quite brilliant.”

“Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, take care of her?” James looked like the eleven-year-old boy again, “Don’t make her a fling and don’t make this temporary.”

“Y/n is a strong woman, and she isn’t for weak men. I’ll be honest,” James chuckled, “She doesn’t need a man. She doesn’t even really need me. I need her more than she needs me. Regardless, take care of her. She deserves a man worthy of her. Someone that’ll get her ice cream at 4 a.m. because she’s craving it. Someone that’ll go on sporadic trips with her. Someone that’ll understand that after a hard day, all she wants is a book and coffee.”

Sirius was appalled; he’d never seen James look so passionate, “Growing up, mum always told me to be a gentleman. I know it may not seem like it sometimes, but she always raised me as one. To hold a door for them, push and push in their chairs for them, give them my jacket even if I’ll freeze.” 

“Those kinda things. Dad said I should practice on Y/n, and I did. From then, Y/n always got treated like a queen, and she deserves no less. I won't lie, my parents treat me like a king too, and I don’t want any less either.” James explained, “Be the king that’s worthy of my sister.”

“That’s all I ask of you.”

Sirius nodded, “I’d be honored to serve her as my queen.”

“And if you show her no less, she’ll spit you out like chewing gum.”

He shuttered, “I hate how accurate that phrase is.”

James laughed, “I know her more than you think.”

By sixth year they were dating. Sirius would be lying if he wasn’t eternally shitting himself when Y/n said yes to going to Hogsmeade with him, alone, as a date. In fact, James almost wanted to throw him a party for finally not being a little bitch and asking out his sister. This party consisted of a bottle of firewhiskey and chocolate because that’s all that was in the boy's dormitory. But a party nonetheless. 

When Lily rejected James for the last time before graduation, he was utterly heartbroken. He’d spent and dedicated seven years of his life to this gorgeous woman. Despite all his efforts and all his charms, she still wasn’t interested. James tried. He really tried. He wanted Lily so bad. His heart broke when she said her final words of goodbye.

“I’m sorry, Potter. Maybe in another life, just not this one.”

Tears had ebbed at the corner of his eyes as he made his way back into the castle from the Black Lake. In the common room, where he felt like he had just got dowsed in water. James made his way to the girl's dormitory. His hand curled into a fist and knocked lightly on the wooden door. Shuffling was heard from the other side, and the door finally opened, revealing his sister. 

Without warning, James crashed into her arms, forcing his nose in the crook of her neck, “Woah.”

“Are you okay, James?”

His body shook with sobs as he shook his head no, “It’s okay. Let’s go lay down, okay?”

Gently she led him to her bed. He curled up beneath the navy blue comforter and placed his head on the silk pillow sheets. If he tried hard enough, he could forget the way Lily’s hair smelt today or the way her green eyes glistened in the sun. Now engulfed in his sister's scent, trying to remove every feeling for Lily possible, he dug his nose deeper into the comforter. 

Y/n sat beside him, her back to the headboard, and ran her fingers through James’ already untied hair, “What's got you so worked up?”

“It’s done.”

“What’s done?”

“L- Lily and I.” James choked, “She- She really doesn’t want me.”

A new wave of tears overcame him, and Y/n continued to try and soothe him, “Well, she’s a tosser.”

James narrowed his eyes, “James, you know I love her. She's my best friend, but if she can’t see what’s right in front of her, then she’s an idiot.”

“Can I- Can I stay here tonight?” He asked hesitantly.

“You sure you don’t want me to stay at your dorm?” Y/n questioned, “Because you know who sleeps here.”

“Will you stay with me?”

“Till the end.”

After a couple of minutes, Y/n and James made their way down the steps to the boy's side. They walked up more steps and finally made it to the boy's dormitory. James collapsed on his bed in the left corner of the room, and Sirius perked up at seeing his girlfriend enter the room. 

“Whatcha doin’ here, love?”

“Staying with my brother.”

Sirius nodded and stood up to hug her, gently pecking her forehead, “If you guys need anything, let me know, ‘kay?”

“Thanks, Siri.” 

Gently Y/n pulled back the maroon curtain and sat down beside him again. James reached for her hand and intertwined their fingers. Something they used to do as kids. When a thunderstorm would go by, James would always seek sanctuary in his sister's comfort. 

He fell asleep that night, knowing he was safe, loved, and knew that someone cared about him. Even if Lily didn’t love him, at least someone else did. He had his boys, and he had his sister. Right now, that’s all he needed beside him: Screw Lily and her idiot decision skills. Y/n was right; she was a complete tosser. 

When Hogwarts was over, James and Y/n got a flat together. Sirius, Remus, and Peter got one only a floor above. Realistically this wasn’t the plan. James always planned to buy a house with Lily, but he was still healing, and after everything going on, it was vital for him to hold his sister close to him.

Euphemia and Fleamont barely lived to see their children graduate. Not too long afterward had died due to the horrid dragon pocks. It devastated both twins and Sirius. While Sirius wasn’t their true child, he very well could’ve. Euphemia noticed Sirius’s lingering stares on Y/n and the loopy smile that graced his features.

She was the one who got Sirius to man up. She was the one who gave him advice. She was the one who told him what books were her favorite, which chocolate she liked the best, her favorite quills. Euphemia was one of the main components in getting Sirius to date her daughter, and when it finally happened, the parents couldn’t have been happier.

James’ ADHD still remained even in his adulthood, making regular everyday tasks much harder and twice as long. Most of the time, the pills were able to help him complete those tasks. But sometimes, when Y/n wasn’t there to remind him, he would miss his days. When Y/n got home from work, she had barely taken off her shoes to see the apartment spotless.

It was a pleasant surprise, but James was never really one to clean, not that she really minded, but the apartment didn’t have a speck of dust on it. Hesitantly she put her keys on the island along with her bag.

“James!”

“Yes, Y/n?”

He appeared in the kitchen where Y/n was, “Um, did you clean the apartment?”

“Yes, I did!” James nodded enthusiastically.

Y/n sighed and gave her brother a sweet smile, “What did you not do today?”

“So, you know how you told me to go to the pharmacy?”

“Mhm.” Y/n nodded, “Indeed I do.”

“Well, they were out of my meds.” James informed, “I have to wait a week.”

“Oh, Merlin.”

“On the bright side!” James was already causing her a headache, “It’s gonna be a fantastic week! I’ve got so many things planned for us! We’re gonna go-“

James continued to ramble as Y/n grabbed her keys, bag and slipped back on her shoes, “I’m going to Sirius’!”

“Thought you were my sister.” James faked pouting, and Y/n smiled, “I love you, but you’re crazy.”

“I love you too!” He yelled as she closed the door.

[iu-jjang]

[TRANS] IU ‘Pieces’ Album and Song Introductions

IU [Pieces]

The pieces in between my 20s that I purposely didn’t take out

1. Drama

It’s a song that I wrote when I was 20. I composed it because I wanted to cheer up a friend who was going through a breakup and was being very pessimistic about love for a few days. Although I didn’t release it yet, I have so much affection for this song that I sang it for my concert en-encore [T/L note: another encore after the encore] every year without fail. I occasionally tried to write songs with similar emotions, but it seemed like I was just trying to imitate (a version of myself from) a chapter that had already passed in my life, so I stopped doing that.

When I sang it during concerts, because I was in the moment, I could sing it easily and cheerfully, but while recording it, I realised that this was indeed totally different. Out of all the songs I recorded this time, I had the most difficulty with this song, trying to find the character [get into character]. In order to bring out the atmosphere during concerts as much as possible, there wasn’t any special arrangement done for this song.

I’m sincerely grateful towards my fans who didn’t forget the existence of the song ‘Drama’ and strongly requested for it to be released officially. ‘Drama’ is in between ‘Hold My Hand’ which made my blood boil (with ambition) because it was my first (self-composed song) and ‘Friday’ which I was already feeling pretty relaxed about, before I knew it. This song which I was not ambitious about nominating (for this album), because it’s a precious song that I hold close to my heart, perhaps is the reason and theme for this collection of (music) pieces.

2. Next Stop

I started writing this song when I was 25, so by the time I was done, I was 26. There are some songs whereby the lyrics and melody come to my mind together, like a piece of music born with the two as one. It had been awhile since I had a song like that and this was one of them.

It can’t be helped that (I am) biased towards such songs.

There wasn’t any format or particular chord work that I worked hard on, but the moment I wrote the first verse as easily as breathing, I was so in love with this song.

But even then, I forgot about it. Heh.

It was a year later when I encountered my character ‘Jian’ in ‘My Mister’ that I naturally took on that character and was able to finish the second verse. While there was no plan cast in stone, it was a song that I definitely wanted to release one day. Beyond being a storyteller, but as a top liner [T/L note: person who composes the main melody of a song], I think this song contains my most central emotions as a creator.

This is the only song that we mixed in the vocals from the guide version. It contains both my voice from 3 years ago, as well as my current voice. I sang it calmly back then, but now I sing it in a way that appeals (to emotions). Ironically, it might be because it’s all in the past now.

Between Jieun and Jian is a ‘station’.

The two are connected by the distance of a station.

[T/L note: literal translation of the Korean song title is ‘The Station’.]

3. Winter Sleep

It started out as a sketch when I was 27 and had more thoughts than usual about a life leaving this world and about being left on such a world and I finally completed the song when I was 29, after experiencing several more huge separations.

It contains the story of welcoming the first year alone after sending off a beloved family member, friend or pet. It was a track that the lyrics were not difficult to write due to the clear plot in the order of spring, summer, autumn and winter, but in comparison to that, (the whole song) took a much longer time to be completed. That’s because I wanted to use direct expressions, yet I didn’t want the emotions to turn out to be too superficial.

This song took the longest time to record.

I’m usually the type to try my best to be as concise as possible in my expression during recordings, but for this song, I didn’t feel the need to hold back my emotions. Instead, to maximise the feelings of longing, I tried to go for a rather bold(?) arrangement in the precursor to the interlude in the middle of the song and not in the second half of the song [T/L note: question mark used in the original text]. That’s also the reason why the song is based on piano, unlike the other tracks.

Even though a great loss came into my world, there were flowers blooming, stars coming up and poems being born out there without delay. In between these repetitive seasons is ‘winter sleep’.

As I sing this song, this time I really won’t break down anymore. They’ll know this isn’t a lie.

4. You

This is a song I wrote at the age of 24, when I was filming a drama in the mountains, so I couldn’t go home for days and I missed my friend who lived upstairs so much. [T/L note: IU was filming the drama ‘Moon Lovers’ and missed Yoo Inna who lives in the apartment above hers.]

I remember immersing myself in my character of the historical drama I was filming for ten minutes and imagined myself to be writing a postcard to someone far away, not knowing whether it would reach the person and with that, I affectionately wrote the lyrics line by line.

I thought hard about whether to include this track or not.

Many years ago, I had already told my fans that I did not intend to release this song, so in my mind that was the end of it. Then one day as I was surfing on YouTube, I happened to listen to this song again after a long time and saw in the comments that there were more fans than I had thought waiting for this song to be released. On top of that, perhaps because I had written the song sincerely, the lyrics in the song still touched my heart.

Feeling uncertain about whether I would include it in this album, I sang this song in the recording studio again after about five years and amazingly, starting from the first verse, it just came out right.

This is the only song that I let my fans listen to in the one and only year that I did not have any music-related activities in the 14 years of my singing career. [T/L note: It was an untitled april fools song that IU uploaded on her fancafe for uaenas.]

Between ‘Chat-shire’ and ‘Palette’ is ‘You’ wanting to slowly and quietly flow along.

It’s probably the song (title) with the least syllables out of all the songs I’ve worked on.

5. Love Letter

I sketched this song at 26, completed it when I was 28, and “even” gave it to another artist. It was the first time ever since I started composing that another singer sang my song. [T/L note: Previously IU only wrote lyrics for others’ songs, like Cherry B’s “Her” and Jung Seunghwan’s “The Snowman”, Seulong’s “The Moment” and Sam Kim’s “When You Fall”.]

Last year, I went on KBS ‘Sketchbook’ and sang this song, which gave me the opportunity to work with Jung Seunghwan, who is a singer I admire. When we were working together on this song, I briefly explained to Antenna and Jung Seunghwan about (my plans) to release this collection of my pieces and earned their consent to release the song. I wrote the lyrics based on the scenario of one half of an elderly couple leaving the world first and writing a final love letter for the other half who is left behind.

If Jung Seunghwan’s version is more calm and refined, I wanted my version of ‘Love Letter’ to be delivered in a more straightforward manner.

The arrangement of the song is fairytale-like and lovely, but I tried to make the vocals sound solid and the song was comparatively easy to record. I also tried to vary the ‘da-o’ part each time it was repeated throughout the song.

The last part of the lyrics, ‘I am still there, remaining in your heart, more than anywhere else’ became the seed of the last track ‘Epilogue’ in my 5th album ‘LILAC’. It’s also something that I want to tell my fans that I am grateful for, who have known me for a long time, know me (for who I am) and continue to want to know me better.

In between a novel and a letter, with this ‘Love Letter’ that I pressed my sincere emotions into and wish to send to those who love me, I close this collection of my (music) pieces.

Translated by IUteamstarcandy

[hotpinkworks]

The wolves of Kaer Morgan were cowards, Yennefer decided as she sat across from Jaskier at their private little table in the corner of the hall. The bard was fulfilling his calling and telling her a story in a soft hushed tone, prompted by the silence in the rest of the hall. That was the problem, a Witchers keep was supposed to be filled with noise and conversation. It was their sanctuary, where they didn’t have to mask themselves in fear and yet here were all the witchers, eating in silence. Yen wasn't a fool, she knew it was because of them, two figures in the corner trying to take up as little space as possible and failing miserably. For her own part she didn't mind, she had been ignored enough in her long life to be able to survive the scorning of a few brooding men, but Jaskier...Jaskier was born for a crowd, born to be with people and it showed. There was only so much Yennefer could do as she watched the days tick by and saw him become less and less like the man she had been so relieved to see in that tavern. Even if Yennefer had been able to conjure a lute, she wasn't sure Jaskier would have played it for the fear of annoying the Witchers, something that never would have bothered him before. He was disappearing here, and the thought of it had her jaw twitching as Jaskier finished his food and softly kissed her on the cheek as he whispered goodbye. 

Yennefer was nothing of not careful, she had enough forethought to wait until Jaskier was out of ear shot to speak, barely holding back as her fists clenched on the table,

"Fuck all of you," she spat bitterly into the hall,

"Yennefer," she glared back at Geralt,

"No, shut up, I'm not done. Fuck all of you. You can treat me however you like, I don't care, I deserve it. But how dare you treat Jaskier like that, how dare you turn away from him like he's something lesser than you, how dare you shun him with your silence and sneers. That man is better than all of you without even trying." She stood up and turned to face the rest of the hall with arms crossed, met by the glare of golden eyes,

"Which one of you will deny that your lives were made easier because of his songs? You sit there having reaped the benefits of his hard work, work that only happened because he dedicated 20 years of his life following around a witcher who barely slowed his horse to let him keep up. But oh, it can't be because he cared can it? He's just a fortune hungry human like all the rest, simply using the witcher name to fulfill his own goals. No it's not like he was risking himself to smuggle elves to safety or anything like that, oh wait! He was! Just because you witchers have your own emotions shoved so far up your asses that you're choking on them doesn't mean that you get to forget that other people have them,” she hissed bitterly, knowing full well that she had done the same in years past. 

“Jaskier is braver than all of you, fuck, he’s brave by just admitting that he has emotions in the first place and he does that without even trying. That is a human man, no mutagens, no chaos, no extended life and yet he has endured torture to protect you witchers. He came here of all places despite having been abandoned, came into a room full of monsters with no training, no weapon to defend himself because I asked him to help. Because he's good, kind and brave. And despite the fact that you seem determined to hate him, he still treats you like equals, has done that from the moment he met one of you. And frankly? You don't deserve it." She spat, spinning on her heels and marching out of the room before the men could so much as even breathe. 

Not that she had a chance to either as she heard footsteps coming up behind her, she increased her pace pettily, as if she could actually outpace a witcher,

"Yennefer," Geralt called, "Yen, torture?" She slowed to a stop at the concern in his voice, expression still guarded as he rounded on her,

"If he hasn't told you then I'm not going to," she said, folding her arms again, Geralt frowned but nodded anyway,

"And the rest?" 

"I don't know what you want me to say Geralt. You've always taken him for granted but this...it's shit for him here. He won't say it because he already feels like a burden but your family treats him like an outsider, an intruder. He only has us to talk to and you're busy with Cirilla a lot... he isn't used to being alone,"

"I know,"

"Do you? Geralt? Because you see how that's worse right? If you know he's been suffering and you still haven't done anything about it. He deserves the world for what he's been through, what he's done," she shook her head, "if something doesn't change by spring I'm going down that pass and I'm taking him with me, earlier, if I can manage to create a portal," it was a warning, not a threat but she didn't really expect Geralt to care either way, she smiled a tired smile at his silence before turning away to find her bard.

***

The next morning found Yennefer back in her corner grinning maliciously over her breakfast. Jaskier was yet to wake and while there was still tension in the hall it stank of guilt this time. She didn’t even need a Witcher’s nose to smell it. Maybe Geralt had said something to them after all but for the moment Yennefer was more than happy to take credit for their shifting behaviour. It felt good, she realised, to be able to affect a room of people again. Especially people as stubborn as Witchers. Her mirth grew as the double door creaked open and Jaskier slipped into the room.

The effect was immediate, Witchers left and right began mumbling and nudging each other, clearly unsure of what to say. Jaskier eyed them fearfully as he went to fill his bowl. He had just turned around when the tension broke,

"Morning Jaskier," Eskel called, clearing his throat. The other witchers grunted other greetings as Jaskier stared at them wide eyed,

"Morning Eskel, other assorted wolves," He said bewildered. Lambert called him towards them and Yennefer watched with pride as Jaskier trotted over, there was colour high on his cheeks, and Yen was convinced that if he had a tail it would be wagging between his legs as he walked.

Jaskier smiled at the attempts of the wolves to speak with him, answering their questions softly with a laugh before winking and turning his back to them to walk to where Yennefer was sitting,

"Jask,"

"Yen?"

"What are you doing?" She asked tersley,

"Sitting with my wife?" Jaskier grinned at her over his bowl,

"But you can sit with the others now, why would you..." 

"Despite what many believe, I'm not an idiot Yen. I know first hand that witchers don't change their opinions over night," his eyes flickered to Geralt, who Yennefer noticed was watching them yet again, "I know you did something," 

"Well if I did, you should be taking advantage of my hard work!" She protested, hands flying up but Jaskier just shook his head with a chuckle,

"I'm nothing if not loyal, my dear witch. It was you who came to rescue me in my times of need, not them, you who remained by my side and mended my fingers even though you were weak yourself. I'd be a fool to cast you aside," even in earnest Jaskier talked like a melodramatic poet and Yennefer scoffed to hide the fond warmth in her chest,

"Calm down, it's just seating arrangements," she rolled her eyes and Jaskier laughed,

"Well in that case, perhaps I sat here because I find your conversation more stimulating than the rest of our current company," He teased, Yen leaned over, grabbing hold of his hand as she ignored the indignation from the other tables, some mocking, some serious,

"A perfectly good reason, my dear husband,"

[99liv3s]

Be Careful What You Wish For

Lena laughed as she completed the last question of this little online contest she was participating in. The invitation had appeared in her email one day along with a link, and she had curiosity followed that link to a website that described the contest. All Lena would have to do is answer a few questions correctly before other "participants" and she would be the winner of "her fondest wish!!" Lena had laughed at this, thinking this was a fun little game someone had put up, and though she did not take it seriously at all, she decided to join in the fun. Where was the harm in it?? She was bored at the moment after all.

The "contest" consisted of a few straightforward questions that she was easily able to answer. Shaking her long blonde hair out of her face, Lena's bright blue eyes watched as the site processed her answers, then a message popped up on her screen: "Congratulations, you have won the contest!! You may now make your wish!! What do you desire??" Lena giggled as she jokingly pondered this question, then typed in the first thing that popped into her head: "I wish to live forever!!" Laughing softly as she hit the send button, saw "Your wish is granted! Thank you for playing!" And closed the window, Lena thought, "This was a cute, fun little distraction, but now I gotta finish chores!"

A couple hours later, Lena plopped into her living room lounge chair, rubbing her belly. She felt somewhat sick and bloated, but she was also exhausted from laundry and housework, so she figured she was just hungry and worn out. Shaking off the feeling, she decided that after she rested for a while, she'd make herself a sandwich. Another hour passed, with Lena watching TV when she looked down and saw a shock!! Her normally small petite belly had expanded outward, making her look very pregnant!! She gasped in horror, and jumped to her feet, a mistake that nearly sent her crashing to the floor, for she was not used to the balance of her new belly. She felt heavy, and full, confused as to how this had happened to her! "I'm having an allergic reaction, she thought anxiously. "That has to be it!!" "I've caught some sort of virus and I'm having a reaction to..." Her thoughts trailed away as she felt movement in her belly, and she absentmindedly rubbed it. "I... I can't be pregnant," she blurted out to her empty house. "I've never had sex... this has to be a bad dream, right??"

Lena waddled into her bedroom and reached the nearby bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror. She looked nine months pregnant, her belly hanging out of the clothes she had been wearing on the body that had been so small and slim just a few hours ago. She was still confused and scared as to what had happened to her when suddenly, she doubled over as a painful contraction hit her. Lena gasped as she felt pressure build up, then a gush of water leaked out of her, soaking her bottoms.

"UUUGGHHH", Lena moaned as she slowly made her way back into her bedroom. She reached the bed and climbed on it, as she felt something heavy drop onto her hips. Frantically, she kicked off her pants as she felt huge pressure in her pussy. She could not help but push, screaming in pain. "AAAAHHHHHH!!" Lena felt a burning sensation as whatever was coming out of her began to crown. She struggled to get her panties off, panting and crying as the pain peaked. As the head emerged farther, causing a bulge to form in her underwear, she screamed a high pitched scream and whined as the burning and pressure worsened. She knew she had to get her panties off, or it would block the baby that she was somehow delivering, so she gritted her teeth through the pain and pulled her underwear down to her feet. She then began kicking, not just to get the panties off her feet, but because the pain was so bad, it caused her to thrash around like crazy. She whined and moaned and cried as she felt the heavy head slowly push out, stretching her pussy wide. Screaming, she pushed, willing this process to go faster. "THIS HURTS!!!" she yelled, though she knew no one else was in the house. Finally, she felt a pop and knew the head had finally gotten out. Without waiting another second, Lena pushed, brushing her sweaty blonde hair out of her face, and felt relief as the baby left her body.

For about a minute, Lena lay there, shaking, hardly able to believe what had just happened to her. Then, something in her mind clicked as she realized "Wait, if I just had a baby, shouldn't it be crying??" Lena slowly moved around so she could pick up the baby she had just birthed, noting three distinct things about it: First, it did not have a umbilical cord attached to it, just a belly button. Second, the baby was a girl, with blonde hair the same general shade as Lena's, and third, the baby was not crying, but Lena could clearly see that it was alive and healthy, almost content. Her eyes were closed and she moved around and kicked, as if she had been born for a while and was just simply sleeping. Lena held her baby and stared at it for the longest time before realizing how exhausted she was. Afraid she might accidentally turn over on the baby as she slept, Lena decided she would not sleep with the baby in her own bed, and so the new mother gingerly got up and found the softest part of her bedroom's carpet she could find and placed the baby gently onto it, laying her on her back. Thinking that she would try to figure all this out tomorrow, she fell backward onto her bed and fell asleep.

When Lena awoke the next morning, her first thought was, "Oh God, what a horrible nightmare!! It felt so real!" As she rose up, she realized something was wrong. She was lying on the floor, naked. She looked over her body, thinking. "Did I fall out of bed??" She got to her feet and then her blue eyes fell upon the bed, and she screamed. The shirt and bra she had been wearing last night were lying on the bed, being worn by a skeleton. Lena trembled as she looked around the room, her mind racing. After a while, she remembered where she had placed the baby she had birthed... it had been lying in the exact spot where Lena had woke up, but as she now looked at that spot, there was no baby there, nor any sign there ever was. As she continued to ponder this, terrified, she also realized that her body felt better than it had ever felt in her life, almost as if it were a new....body....

Lena rushed into the bathroom and vomited as realization hit her. She had given birth to herself. Somehow, after she had fallen asleep, her body died, and her consciousness or soul or whatever had transferred to the baby, which had apparently grown rapidly. She looked herself over, noting that her body seemed to be the same age as it had been last night, in her late 20s. "How is this possible??" She breathed. Lena made her way back into the bedroom, noticing at once that the bones were now gone, leaving only the clothes she was wearing last night, and what appeared to be sweat and other bodily fluids. Lena shuddered at the thought, but did not know what else to do. Her tummy grumbled, and she realized she was starving... of course, this new body had not eaten yet.

Hours later, Lena had eaten, dressed, and had gone into work. Sitting at her desk, her mind was not on her work, however. She could not get her odd situation out of her mind, and the more she pondered on it, the more it made sense that the body she now inhibited was the one she gave birth to. "The baby's features were just like mine," she thought. "Female, petite body, blonde hair... if I saw its eyes, I bet they were blue, just like mine!" "I never had sex, so the baby could only be another me!" "But, how??" "How is this possible??" "What caused this to happen to me??" Lena spent all of her workday lost in thought, and after a while, convinced herself that it had to have been a nightmare. She must have hallucinated those bones, and just simply did not remember taking off her clothes, or falling out of bed during the night. As for her body feeling better than it ever had?? Maybe that was just a result of healthy living lately!! When she arrived home, Lena grabbed her bra and shirt from off her bed and threw it into the laundry. She then looked around the room, and seeing nothing out of the ordinary, she told her mind it was a vivid nightmare, and to forget about it, and get on with her life.

Two days had passed, and Lena had not given the incident another thought. She had been shut up in her office, preparing an important presentation for her boss to give soon. Her friend and co-worker Marianne had come by to collect the finished presentation, and Lena stood to hand it to her. "Excellent," Marianne said "Lena, this is just what our boss needs to secure that new agreement!!" "You always come through when we need it!" Marianne's brown eyes looked Lena over. "Oh, by the way, congratulations!! When are you due??" Lena looked at her friend confused. "What??" she asked, before looking down at herself and barely stifling a gasp. She was sporting a small bump, almost as if she were about 3 or 4 months pregnant. Her mind raced in panic as her friend was still speaking: "Boy or girl??" After a few seconds, in which Lena composed herself, she smiled and said, "Oh, it's a girl!" Marianne nodded. "I don't know why you didn't tell me or any of us before now, but again, congratulations!" Lena smiled as Marianne left the room, the Lena scrambled for the bathroom. As she closed the door behind her, she collapsed against it, breathing rapidly. "This can't be happening!" She thought. "I can't be pregnant!!" "This isn't happening again!!" "That was just a nightmare... wasn't it??" She glanced into the mirror, her shining blue eyes staring back at her, eyeing her small bump, and she groaned softly. "What the hell am I going to do??"

After she got home, Lena decided that she was not going back to work for a while. This proved to be a good idea, for as the week passed, her bump grew rapidly, and by the time she reached the weekend, she looked ready to pop. She had called the office, telling them she had caught a virus, and that she would be working from home for a while. This worked perfectly, except apparently Marianne began to worry about her, as she had begun calling Lena everyday. Lena assured her she was fine, just sick, and when Marianne asked about "the baby," Lena told her that she need not worry about it.

On the day Lena realized a full week had passed since she had had her supposed nightmare, she tried to get out of bed when she was hit by painful contractions and pressure. "Oooohhh", she moaned, rocking back and forward on the bed, clutching her belly. Hoping that walking might help the contractions, Lena got shakily to her feet and began taking small steps around her bedroom. With each step, Lena felt the baby inside her drop lower and lower. Eventually, she could not take it anymore and she dropped to her knees, crying out in agony. She spread out on all fours, her large belly hanging down and her blonde hair in her face, inwardly thankful she had been going to bed naked lately. Tears streamed from her blue eyes as she wailed and pushed, her butt and vagina high in the air. The baby's head tunneled roughly through her birth canal as she panted and moaned. Her legs shook with pain and cramps as Lena let out another roar of pain. As the head began to peek out of her, she felt the burning in her pussy that signaled the baby's crowning. "OOHH!! OOOHHH GOD!!" She yelled. "AAHHH IT HURTS!! IT'S BURNING!!!!" she cried and grabbed the top of the bed, pulling herself into a semi-squatting position, hoping gravity would help. Lena threw her head back and cried out loudly as she felt the head seem to split her vagina open. Bearing down, she pushed until the head was hanging out between her legs. Stopping only to pant and catch her breath, Lena reached down with her left hand and felt the baby's head. When another contraction hit, she squatted and groaned as she gave another push, and the baby dropped onto the carpet.

After spending a few minutes to rest, Lena looked down at the baby. Like before, it was a little girl, not attached, and not crying, but clearly alive. Lena held and hugged the baby against her chest, thinking rapidly. "It wasn't a nightmare, unless I'm having it again!" "What do I do??" "Do I dare fall asleep again??" Thinking back, Lena was convinced that giving birth this second time seemed more difficult and more painful than the first, but she was not sure. Realizing that she was exhausted and hungry, Lena placed the baby in the center of her bed and staggered to the kitchen. Her body after giving birth was sore and weak, but everything seemed to be over. She made a quick sandwich and collapsed on her sofa in the living room, lost in thought. As she ate silently, random questions popped into her head, and she decided that today, since it was early in the morning when she had given birth, she was going to experiment.

12 hours later, with night falling outside, Lena felt more confused than ever. After eating earlier, she had returned to her room and started touching and talking to the baby, in an attempt to get it to open its eyes, but it never did. Lena then tried to feed it, holding it up to one of her breasts, but nothing happened. On an upside, there was no diaper to change either, for the baby did not seem to have to poop or pee. If not for the breathing and it occasionally moving around, Lena would have sworn the baby was just a realistic looking doll. Tired, Lena decided to try one last experiment before she went to sleep. She had brought the baby into the living room and placed her on the sofa. Lena then returned to her bedroom, thinking that if she woke up on the sofa tomorrow, then it confirmed her theory about what was happening, assuming she could fall asleep will so many anxious thoughts in her head. However, as soon as her head hit the pillow, Lena drifted off immediately.

Lena turned and felt herself hit the floor. Snapping awake, she found herself lying in front of her sofa. She let out a soft scream and jumped to her feet. Rushing into her bedroom, she found her bed soaking wet, and only the pajamas she had worn to bed as part of her experiment. Trembling, she backed against the wall and slid down it onto the floor, burying her face in her hands. "It's true!" She thought. "Everytime I fall mysteriously pregnant, I give birth to a baby that will eventually become my new body!" "But, why?? And how??" "Am I cursed??"

Lena again did not go back to work. She decided to spend the day on the internet, searching for answers, ignoring a missed call from Marianne. Scouring the internet, she tried to determine if anyone else had ever been in her situation before, but she was unsuccessful. She had even posted her situation in a few forums on the deeper parts of internet, but only got responses telling her she had a vivid, or a sick imagination, and that her "ideas" would make a good story. Frustrated, Lena was getting ready to shut down her computer, before noticing the new email icon, and something clicked in her mind. She was reminded about that strange online contest she had taken, and realized that it was right after that when all these strange things had started happening to her. Lena accessed her search history and located the website where she had played the contest. She saw that message thanking her for playing and then found the information she had overlooked before. "Questions??" It said, with a phone number under it. Her heart racing, Lena grabbed her smartphone and called the number immediately!

After two rings, a kind female voice answered, telling Lena that she had called the helpline for the online contest. Lena told the woman everything that had happened since winning the contest, expecting the woman to hang up, laugh, or even tell her that she had no idea what Lena was talking about. However, to her surprise, the woman answered "Of course!" "What is happening to you is what you wished for." Lena fell silent confused. "I wish to live forever," the woman said as if she was reading it, then said with a giggle, "That wish has come true." "With each week, your body produces a brand new replacement, and once you give birth to it, it becomes your new body." "Constantly changing to a fresh body each week means you will never grow old and die." "Congratulations!!" Lena gasped in shock. "How do I make it stop??" She asked the woman. "Stop??" The voice repeated. "Why would you want to??" "Your wish is granted." "I didn't think that was serious," Lena yelled in a pleading voice. "Please, you have to help me!!" "It hurts to give birth every week" "I don't want this wish anymore!!" "Please get rid of it!" "That can't be done," the woman responded. "All granted wishes are final!" "Have a nice day!" With that, the woman hung up. Lena tossed her phone to the side and collapsed into her chair, crying. "I AM cursed!!" She blurted out!!

Lena called and quit her job, thinking that, in order to avoid awkward questions, she would have to find a job that allowed her to work from home. Three days later, she had accepted an online application for a work from home proofreader, which was similar to what she did before, but would allow her to avoid human contact and submit her work online. She was already showing another small pregnant bump by this time, and she absentmindedly rubbed it as she finished chores around the house. Though a part of her mind had subconsciously accepted her new life situation, Lena was still dismayed that she seemed to be stuck in this cycle of "rebirth" forever. She had continued to search the internet for any kind of hope or help, even going so far as to search for unusual births, frequent birth fetish sites, and even post about her situation in various birth related forums, but it seemed that her situation was unique, or else no one else had gone public with it. Her failure to find even a shred of hope caused her to fall into a kind of depression, and she only half-heartedly threw herself into her new work, knowing that she still needed money regardless.

After six days had passed, Lena was lying spread out on her sofa, her hand resting on her large belly as she read a romance novel, trying anything to help take her mind off things, when a knock at her door made her jump. Confused, Lena rose up and waddled to her front door, seeing Marianna through its small window. Lena opened the door, greeting her friend and former co-worker, who looked at Lena with concern. "Lena, what's been going on with you??" Marianne asked. "I haven't heard from you in days... you quit your job suddenly, and refuse to answer my calls or texts." "Are you ok??" Marianne looked Lena up and down, taking in the huge bump. "Lena, I didn't know you were that far along!" "Does all of this have to do with the baby, because I know that..." Marianne trailed off, for at the mention of the word baby, Lena burst into tears and fell into Marianne's arms, crying hysterically. "I'm... I'm not ok at all!" Lena sobbed, as Marianne held her. "Mari, I don't...know... what to do!!" For a while, Marianne just held her friend, listening to her crying, then looked into Lena's eyes, and asked, "When's the last time you left the house??"

An hour later, Marianna had driven the two of them to the park, thinking that some time out of the house would do Lena some good. As the two of them walked slowly through it, having the park mostly to themselves, Lena realized that Marianne insisting that she get out of the house was a good thing, for Lena began to somewhat feel better. "Lena, please talk to me," Marianna pleaded, a concerned expression on her face. As they continued their stroll, Lena shook her head, staring at the ground, and her protruding belly. "I want to tell you, but I don't think you'll believe me," She relied. "Tell me what??" Marianne asked, still looking at Lena with concern. When Lena did not respond, Marianne stopped her and the two of them stood in a large patch of grass in a deeper corner of the park. "Lena, you can tell me anything," Marianne said to her. "Remember, I'm a scifi and fantasy nut!" "Whatever it is, I'll believe you." Lena looked into her friend's face, thinking that if anyone in the entire world would believe her right now, it was Marianne. So, Lena took a deep breath, and told her everything: About taking the contest and making her wish, about how she had fallen pregnant without warning, how she had given birth twice already, about how she had discovered that she was giving birth to her own replacement bodies, and how she had found the help line for the contest, and how the woman over the phone had confirmed what Lena had suspected. Marianne listened to her friend intently, and when Lena finished, she was relieved that Marianne had not laughed at her or told her she was insane. "Unbelievable," Marianne gasped. "So, it's a curse, and it can't be undone??" Lena nodded somberly. "Mari, you gotta help me... I don't know what to do." Marianne hugged her friend, comforting her. "Of course, Lena, there must be something that we can do," she said, smiling. "We'll figure it out together!!" "I'll help you look deeper online, and I can discreetly make some inquiries with some friends who might be able to help." "We'll figure something out, I promise." Lena looked at Marianne, feeling the first bit of joy and hopefulness she had felt since this crazy situation had begun. It was a long shot, yes, but at this point, she needed any silver of hope that she could get. Lena sighed happily and let out a laugh, embracing her friend as much as she could, before a painful weight hit her hips.

Lena cried out in pain, nearly falling to the ground, if not for Marianne catching her. "Aagghh, it's coming!! Mari, it's coming!!" Lena cried, feeling the pressure in her lower abdomen. "Oh God, Lena, we've gotta get you to a hospital," Marianne responded, pulling out her phone to call an ambulance. Panting, Lena stopped her, grabbing Marianne's hand. "No.... no hospital!" Lena breathed. When Marianne stared into her face shocked, Lena shook her head. "How... will I... explain.... this?" "Too.... many.... questions..." Lena squealed as the pain worsened, and Marianne dropped her phone back into her purse. "Ok, back home then," she said. "Back home where it's more comfortable and private..." "There's.... no....time..." Lena said breathlessly. "It's... starting... to PUUUAAAAA!!" Lena let out a yell of agony as another contraction forced the baby painfully through her pelvis. "OOOHHH!! MARI, HELP ME, IT HURTS!!" Without another word, Marianne grabbed onto Lena and helped her over to a nearby park bench, thankful that this section of the park was currently deserted. As Lena moaned and cried, Marianne helped her onto the bench, taking off her bottoms, and positioning one of her legs to hang across the back of the bench, so that Lena was lying across it with her legs open. Lena screamed as she felt the burning and pressure in her vagina. "MARI, IT'S THERE! THE HEAD'S THERE!! IT BURNS!! OOOOWWWWW!!" Lena screamed as her pussy began to stretch around the head. Marianne moved in between Lena's legs, seeing the tip of the baby's head lodged in her small vagina. "Lena, honey, you're doing great!" Marianne coached. "Don't worry, I'll catch the baby when it comes out!" "It'll all be over soon!" "When you feel you need to, push!!" Lena screamed as the head emerged slowly, opening her wider and wider. "AAGGHH, IT HURTS!!" Lena yelled. "OH, PLEASE GET IT OUT!! MARI, PLEASE!!" As Lena begged and cried, Marianne rubbed her legs softly, watching as the head inched out. After another minute, the head fully emerged with a pop and a gush of fluids, causing Lena to gasp loudly. Marianne laughed and nodded in relief, looking into her friend's eyes. "One more push, Lena!!" She told her. "Just one more!"

45 minutes later, Marianne drove into the driveway of Lena's house, with Lena herself in the passenger seat, holding the baby girl that she had just given birth to in the park, weak and exhausted. Marianne got out of her car and then helped Lena slowly to her feet and guided her into her house. Lena lowered herself into her nearby armchair as Marianne took the baby from her and placed it onto the sofa. "That was intense, Lena," Marianne said to her. Lena nodded weakly at her friend and smiled softly at her. "Thank you for being there," Lena said quietly. "Is it always like that??" Marianne asked. Lena sat in quiet contemplation for a moment before saying hoarsely, "No, it seemed worse that time!" Lena stared at the baby lying over on the sofa, moving around timidly, lost in thought. Why did it seem like each time she gave birth, it felt worse?? Was it just her, or was it somehow because these bodies were technically giving birth after being a week old?? Lena watched as the baby continued to squirm silently. She did not think this baby was any bigger than the last two, so she did not understand. Would the next one be even worse? Lena noticed Marianne watching her, and gave her another weak smile, trying to assure her wordlessly that she was ok. "So, what happens now??" Marianne asked, looking around the room. Lena sighed and shook her head. "I don't know," she responded. "Everything that happens next just happens." "I fall asleep, and when I wake up, I'm somehow inside the baby's body, which is instantly the same age as when I fell asleep!" "I don't know why or how..." Marianne stared into her friend's face, clearly astonished. "So, wonder what would happen if someone was watching when you fell asleep?" She inquired. Lena just shook her head, too exhausted to think, though in a part of her mind, she wondered this too. "Lena, I'm gonna spend the night here," Marianne told her. "Maybe we can find out, and besides, I think you need me." "You shouldn't be alone during all this." Lena looked up into her friend's face, and simply nodded. "Okay," Marianne placed a hand on Lena's shoulder and squeezed it softly. "Alright, you rest for a while," she said comfortingly. "I'm just gonna run back to my place and pack a few things, ok??" Lena nodded and watched as Marianne walked back out the door. Lena was weary, and also hungry, so she eased out of her chair and made her way to her kitchen, finding a few cookies to munch on. Afterward, she went to her bedroom and collapsed onto the bed, letting out an exhausted sigh. She only wanted to rest, like Marianne told her to do, but within minutes, she was fast asleep.

Lena was jerked awake by a loud scream, and she rolled off the couch and onto the floor, disoriented. She got to her feet and ran into the bedroom, where she saw Marianne staring at a human skeleton wearing the clothes Lena had worn to the park earlier. Marianne was trembling with shock, and yelped again when she turned and saw Lena standing naked behind her. "Lena, it... it's TRUE!!" Marianne blurted out. "I believed you, of course, but seeing it for myself..." Lena placed a hand on her friend's shoulder. "I know, Mari," Lena said. "I've been living it the past few weeks." After Lena had quickly thrown on some clothes, the two of them returned to the living room, where Marianne collapsed onto the couch Lena had awoken from minutes earlier. "Packing took longer than I thought," Marianna explained. "When I came back in, I saw you asleep on the couch, and I didn't think anything about it, so I thought you put the baby in the bedroom, and I decided to go in there, and that's when I saw..." She trailed off, looking shaken, and buried her face in her hands. Lena sat next to her and put her arms around her comfortingly. "It was me, but not anymore," Lena whispered. "I'm right here now, and I'm ok!" Marianne looked into her eyes. "Until the next time you give birth all over again, right?" She asked. Lena nodded, and her face fell. "Yeah, in about a week, I'll be doing it again," she responded. "I'm cursed!!" Marianne seemed to have calmed down, and she looked at Lena, seeming to examine her entire body. "I'm not taking away how difficult this situation is for you, Lena," she began, "But, if you look at this another way, you could call it a gift too." "I mean, you never die, and you're good as new each week..." Marianne faltered under the shocked and scathing look her friend was giving her. "Sorry, I know you didn't want this," she said. "Like I said in the park, I'll help you find a solution any way I can!"

As the day passed, the two of them talked, with Marianne asking question after question about Lena's predicament, clearly fascinated and curious about it. Lena explained as best she could, and the conversation even continued when the two of them realized they were starving, and Lena decided to cook something for the two of them. It was later in the evening, while the two of them ate spaghetti Lena had cooked up, when Marianne had proposed staying with Lena on a longer term basis. After thinking about it, and listening to Marianne explain how she should no longer be alone during all this, Lena agreed, and the two of them took a trip to Marianne's apartment, to pack up more long term items for her, including her laptop, which would be essential for Marianne to help research Lena's situation.

A few days later, the two of them had established a routine, with Marianne still going to work during the day, leaving Lena to do her own work, chores, research, and more importantly, rest for what was to come. Lena had already begun showing again, as predicted, and the two girls had agreed that they would continue to keep this entire situation secret from anyone else. As such, Lena once again rarely left the house, lest she run into anyone and be forced into answering awkward questions.  Lena had also flat out refused Marianne's suggestion that she go to a hospital the next time she was due to deliver, for the same reason.  She did not want to imagine what would happen if she transitioned into the new body while inside a hospital room.  Lena knew this would once again mean she would be giving birth at home, with Marianne as her midwife, and though she hated to put her friend through that again, it was necessary.  Lena therefore was very patient and accomadating when Marianne began to comment on her rapid pregnancy, insisted in touching her bump, and started making preparations.  After all, Lena thought, having someone make plans in advance, as well as just having someone with her, might be helpful.

Marianne had certainly done her research into birth.  Close to the end of the week, with Lena's belly large and protruding out, Marianne had transformed Lena's bedroom into a personal home birthing suite, complete with a birthing ball and even a small tub.  Marianne also insisted that Lena do nothing but rest as the time for her labor grew closer.  Lena appreciated all of the effort her friend was putting in for her, and was thankful that she had ultimately shared her secret with Marianne.  For the first time since this situation had begun, Lena found herself not so depressed, for Marianne seemed to be able to do anything she set her mind to, and that gave Lena hope that perhaps together, they could even find a way to get her out of this mess.

A day after Marianne had finished transforming Lena's room, Lena lay in bed, on her side, moaning loudly, as pain and pressure had started up inside her as she had slept.  She rubbed her huge belly as she cried loudly, which brought Marianne running into the room.  "It's started??" Marianne asked, coming over to the bed.  Lena nodded, her eyes shut.  "It hurts, Mari, oh God, it hurts!" She whined.  The contractions wracked her body, growing in intensity, and Marianne gently tried to help Lena up.  "Here, Lena, get on the birthing ball, it'll help," Marianne said gently, helping her friend waddle over to it.  As Lena sat and began rocking on the ball, she admitted inwardly that it did seem to help.  She rocked silently, her eyes closed, changing her rocking pattern with every movement.  Focusing on trying to change this every time helped to take Lena's mind off the pain.  Marianne stayed with her, massaging her back, holding her hand, and whispering consoling words to her.  Eventually, however, the pain became too much, and Lena screamed out! "I HAVE TO PUSH!!" she yelled, and cried as the weight of the baby pressed on her hips.  Marianne had, in advance, filled the tub in the room with warm water, and she now helped Lena slowly into this water, hoping that would ease the pain.  Lena sighed as she felt the water warm her entire body.  She still felt pain and pressure, but it was not as bad.  "Thanks, Mari," she breathed to her friend.  Marianne only shook her head, and then Lena said, "For everything!!"  Marianne was about to respond, telling Lena there was no other place she would rather be, when Lena let out a moan and thrashed around in the water.  "I FEEL IT COMING!!" Lena screeched.  "Push, Lena!!" Marianne coached.  Lena pushed and pushed, gripping the edges of the tub tightly.  Marianne rubbed Lena's legs while simultaneously holding them open.  "I already see the head, Lena," Marianne cried happily.  "You're doing great!!"  "Uuuuggghhhh," Lena groaned as she gave another push.  With the head hanging halfway out of her vagina, Lena threw her head back against the head of the tub, panting.  "I don't know how much longer I can do this," she breathed.  "You've got this, Lena," Marianne reassured her.  "Just a bit more!!"  Lena felt another contraction and began to push, then screamed and thrashed as the burning hit her vagina full force.  "AAAAHHH, IT'S CROWNING!!" Lena yelled, as Marianne tried to calm her down.  After another minute of Lena's screams echoing through the room, there was a loud splash as the baby emerged from her into the water.  As Lena collapsed in relief, Marianne lifted the baby out and placed her on the bed.  "You did it, Lena," Marianne cried happily.

Marianne had helped Lena to the bed and moved the baby to another bed on the other side of the room.  Lena fell asleep almost immediately, tired from giving birth, and Marianne was determined to watch everything until Lena woke up.  A few hours passed, with Marianne watching both her friend and the baby, and then suddenly, as she blinked, the baby was instantly a full grown Lena, with no signs of change.  For a moment, there were two sleeping Lenas in the room with her and then the one in Lena's original bed stopped breathing.  As Marianne continued to watch, an hour later, in another blink of an eye, the first Lena became a skeleton, still wearing the clothes she was wearing when she fell asleep, as the new naked Lena stirred.  Marianne was at a loss for words as her friend got up from the new bed and searched for something to wear.  When she finally found her voice again, Marianne said with an uncomfortable laugh, "Well, I guess we can keep all this stuff here, since we know you'll be needing it again in a week!"

It was two days later, the girls having gotten back to their routine, when Marianne had finally found something.  She had sent Lena's e-mail to a buddy of hers, and he had traced the location of its sender.  He sent this location information back to Marianne, along with assurances that he did not read the e-mail, nor did he want to know what was going on.  Marianne shared this information with Lena, who felt herself tremble with excitement.  "That's only several hours away from here by car," Lena exclaimed excitedly.  "I know," Marianne said.  "We can go and meet with whoever is in charge of that contest and convince him to lift the curse."  Lena's heart sank a little.  "But, that woman on the phone said the curse couldn't be reversed," Lena stated.  Marianne shook her head, still smiling.  "She probably told you that because it would be an inconvenience to do it," she responded.  "If he or she is face to face with you, we can force them to lift it, somehow."  "Don't worry!"  "Soon, it's all gonna work out fine, I just know it!"  As Lena throught to herself, wondering if she dared to get her hopes up, Marianne checked her watch.  "I have a busy workday today, but I'm off tomorrow," she said.  "We can go then!"

The next day, the two of them woke up early, had a quick breakfast, and then got in Marianne's car, to begin their five hour drive to the location in Marianne's information.  Lena already had a small bump again, which had motivated the girls to start their trip as quickly as possible.  As Marianne drove, Lena sat in the passenger seat, absentmindedly rubbing her little belly as the two of them discussed what they would say to whoever they were about to meet.  Eventually, since they had very little information to go on, the girls exhausted this subject and began discussing other things, like what their future plans were.  Lena, hopeful that this curse would be gone soon, wished to pursue a career in writing.  Perhaps she would turn this experience into a story of some sort.  Marianne, meanwhile, did not seem  to have any future plans, having always mostly lived in the moment and had never really thought about it.  Eventually, after five hours, they stopped in front of what looked to be an old house, and Marianne confirmed from her notes that this was the location.

The two girls entered the house, finding the door unlocked.  They found themselves in a large open living room, with a few chairs placed around and a fireplace against the wall.  Sitting on top of the fireplace were several lit candles.  As the two girls looked around the room, they noticed that the place was lit only by various candles dotted around the room.  A grandfather clock stood in a corner, ticking softly, and a circle was drawn in the center of the room.  "Woah, what is this..." Marianne exclaimed, before a young dark haired man dressed in a dark cloak entered the room from a doorway in the opposite wall.  He looked at the girls, then said calmly, "You are Lena, one of my contest winners!"  "WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME??" Lena  blurted out angrily.  "I didn't think you contest was real!"  "I granted your wish, Miss Lena," the man responded.  "It is quite real, and your wish was to live forever!"  "But, why did you make it happen like this??" Lena yelled, as she motioned to her small pregnant bump.  The man sighed.  "Because, it was the only way," he responded.  "I am a sorcerer, but my magic is limited."  "It can't extend life, but it can create a new one, for the act of conceiving is a process that already exists!"  "A bit of cloning magic, as well as soul transference, and life acceleration..."  "TAKE IT AWAY," Lena yelled.  "I don't want this wish anymore!!"  "Reverse the spell or curse or whatever you did!"  The sorcerer shook his head sadly.  "I'm sorry, there is no reverse spell or any way to stop or cancel my magic once applied."  "What I have given you is yours forever."  Lena gaped at the sorcerer, feeling as though her insides were falling.  She had hoped there was a way to undo this curse, but now, it seemed, there was not.  "I can't go on like this," Lena pleaded.  "Please, there must be something you can do!"  The sorceror shook his head apologetically, but Marianne spoke up.  "I have an idea," she said, and the other two looked at her.  "You said the spell could not be undone, but can it be moved or transferred??" The sorcerer stared at her.  "Yes, it can be, but I don't understand..."  "Then, give it to me instead," Marianne said, before looking at Lena and smiling slightly, as Lena gaped at her.  "Mari, what??" She said breathlessly.  "It's ok," Marianne answered.  "Remember when I said this could be a gift instead of a curse if you thought about it differently??"  "Well, I have thought about it, and for me, it would be a gift!"  She turned to the sorcerer.  "Can you do it??"  "I can," he reponded, nodding.  "Mari, I can't let you do this," Lena said to her friend.  "Lena, please, I want this," Marianne said.  "I found what was happening to you fascinating and amazing, even a dream come true."  "You don't want it, but I do, so we both win!"  "But, the birth... the pain..." Lena said, staring at Marianne in disbelief.  "I'm not worried about that, Marianne said happily.  "It's actually an experience I would treasure each time."  "Please, Lena, let me do this for you, and for me, ok??"  Lena sighed, and a tear ran down her cheek as a feeling of great relief flowed through her body.  "Ok, Mari," she said.  "Thank you!"

The sorcerer led the two girls down into a large basement room, with what looked like a large round pool in the center of it, filled with what looked like water.  He instructed the two of them to take off all their clothes and then both submerge themselves completely for 20 seconds, as he performed a ritual.  The girls did as they were asked and the two of them slowly walked down into the pool until they were both fully underwater.  After counting to twenty, Lena emerged from the pool and a splash, the sound of dripping water, and someone trying to catch their breath told her that Marianne had come out as well.  Looking over herself, Lena saw that the small baby bump was gone, her body back to its small petite form.  She looked over to see that Marianne now had a small bump, which she was clutching in one hand as she spluttered the water out of her mouth.  "Mari, look," Lena exclaimed, pointing at Marianne's belly.  "It worked!!"  "You're..."  "I'm pregnant!" Marianne said, happily, looking over herself and rubbing her belly.  "It is done," the sorcerer stated.  "The spell has been transferred."

As they drove back to Lena's house, the two girls talked happily, both having gotten what they wanted!  Lena was free, and never had to worry about giving birth again, short of actually having kids of her own someday.  Marianne, meanwhile, had taken the curse, or gift as she called it.  As Marianne giggled, driving happily, Lena stared at her.  "Mari, I'll never forget what you did for me," she said to her friend.  "Thank you so much!"  Marianne laughed.  "I should be thanking you, Lena," she responded, rubbing her belly.  "You've given me something special, and I can't wait to experience it."  Lena smiled.  "I was thinking," she began, "It might be good for you to have someone around that is experienced in this situation."  "Since your stuff is already at my house, and you'll need it soon, why don't you continue to hang around my place?"  "I can help you when it's time, and I enjoy your company!"  Lena patted her friend's belly, inwardly thinking that she'd be much happier delivering a baby every week than actually being the one giving birth.  Marianne smiled at her.  "You know what," she said.  "I think that's an excellent idea!"  "Let's start our new lives, together!!"

End!!

[lululawrence]

Can u please be nicer on ao3? Maybe you should try answering people's comments

when i read the first line i was honestly flabbergasted and wracking my brain trying to figure out when in the world i wasn't nice on ao3 ever. because i honestly truly try to be nice to everyone always, even when i'm angry or frustrated or people are going after those i love and want to protect. if there was a time i WASN'T nice on ao3, i wondered if it was maybe because my comment had been misunderstood or someone saw me razzing an author i'm good friends with and they didn't get that we are close and i said what i did with so much love and appreciation, you know? like what??? did i do???

but then i read your second line. and please forgive me if i come off as rude in my response to this, because honestly i'm in a pretty bad spot mentally and emotionally in general right now, but PARTICULARLY today, and this ask triggered an anxiety response in me. so. i'm trying really hard to word this in a way to educate without being condescending or mean, but i might not succeed.

firstly, thank you for your comments i'm assuming you've left. i'm also assuming they were nice comments, in which case extra thanks. i'm sure i'll send you effusive responses on ao3 when the time comes.

secondly, please understand that sending an ask like this, on anonymous no less, is incredibly entitled. writing is not my profession, i receive no compensation for my works that i post for free online, and as a part of that it is not required of me to respond. i do my very best to reply to every comment i receive, but it is not always in a timely manner, because i have other priorities in my life. all of which leads us to my third point, which is:

writers do not owe you a reply to your comments. end of. there are no other qualifications or quantifying modifiers to be added to the statement. is it nice to be acknowledged and know your comment was seen? sure. but do they OWE you one? hell no.

in fact, i'd like to offer you a suggestion. a way of tweaking your thinking about the comments you leave on fics. instead of looking at comments you leave as being something that deserves a reply from the author, think of your comments as your way of paying the author for the gift of their time and talents that they have shared with you by posting their fic. that's how i think of the comments i leave for authors. i'm giving them my thanks for the words they've shared! i want to help THEM feel as amazing as they have made ME feel when i read their fic. in fact, my hope isn't necessarily a response from them, but instead my hope is THE GIFT OF THEM SHARING MORE FIC WITH ME. i'm a selfish bitch in that way and i always want all the fic to read. i never want that well to go dry. one way i can ensure that doesn't happen is by supporting authors and being kind to them and spreading all the love and excitement i can about their writing in the hopes that my words will inspire them to share more.

because whether they reply or not, i GUARANTEE they are seeing your comments. i PROMISE they are. and for all you know, your comment might be the one that keeps them writing even when their words aren't coming easily or when they are tempted to give up.

but, again, please remember that no matter what, these authors (including me) don't actually owe you anything.

the rest of this is going under a cut, because honestly my reply is already far too long and i have a LOT more to say now that you've gotten me started.

now, all of this in mind, i'll explain to you why i'm not great with keeping up with comments made on my fics the last couple of years. i don't owe you this explanation any more than i owe you a response to your comments, and i'm honestly not sure you deserve this explanation either, but i'll still offer it anyway. it'll help me feel better knowing i at least put this out there, whether you care or not, mainly because if i don't do that it will cause me greater anxiety having you possibly think i am not responding to people because i feel all high and mighty or that i think i'm better than the comments or whatever the fuck kind of motivation you're attributing to me to see my lack of a response as something "not nice" towards the commenters.

i'm not sure if you've noticed, but i put out a lot of fic. like a lot. a lot of words and shit. i love writing, it's often my therapy and a way for me to help keep my anxiety and depression and ptsd at bay.

now, more personal shit for you, i've got three kids ages 9 and under. the oldest has adhd which we have yet to find a med for that helps to the extent she needs without side effects that aren't healthy for her to continue with, she also has anxiety, AND she's extremely gifted and starting a new program at a new school, all in the midst of a pandemic. and all of those situations exacerbate her anxiety! huzzah! she's also dealing with the beginning of her tween growing up shit, which is great fun because it means where she used to be pretty damn understanding of her younger brother, she is finding it much more difficult to. because the second oldest? he's autistic with some pretty significant gross motor, speech, and socialization delays that have only been exacerbated because of the previously mentioned pandemic. PLUS he transitioned from his special needs preschool to a fully integrated elementary school for kindergarten last year and then had to deal with all the ups and downs of the switch from e-learning to hybrid to all in schooling when everything in him screams for a normal schedule he can rely on to keep his own anxieties and fears and struggles at their minimum. and that youngest child? he was born in january of last year. he STILL barely leaves the house and has only met other children in close range a couple of times because, once again, pandemic!

add onto all of this my own mental health issues, the fact that my husband ALSO battles major clinical depression, adhd, and anxiety, AND we live with my parents who have their own health issues, both mental and physical. i run the home for our house of seven. i keep this place functioning, fed, clothed, clean, and everywhere we need to be for all of our five million appointments every. fucking. day. there is a REASON i've been borderline burnt out for the last fucking year and a half.

now, for fun, i have fandom shit. i love it here, even if it is a dumpster fire on the best of days, and getting to be a part of the writing community is so very lovely. i adore it. honestly, it's because of those friendships i've built with other writers that i have been able to keep writing and have found just how helpful it can be for my mental health. but i'm REALLY. INCREDIBLY. BUSY. i hardly have time to get on tumblr for just a quick swipe through my dash most days. i put off asks so long i forget i have them. i don't have the mental and emotional capacity to talk to people on here or interact fully a lot of the time. but i do my best to do so and be kind while i'm at it even when i don't want to be.

then, on top of that? i also run fic fests like @wordplayfics and help friends run their own. because not only am i a writer, i'm a reader. i LOVE fic. fic has saved me soooooo many times over the past seven years that i've been here. i want to do what i can to support other writers the best way i can, which is to provide a space for them to create their works that welcomes and helps promote them, but also by doing my monthly fic lists and pocast highlighting what i've been able to read, reblogging their fic posts, and then commenting and kudosing their fics too.

sometimes i get really fucking down on myself because i'm so behind on replying to comments, but my brain is very much a "if you start this, you have to finish it" kind of a brain, and i feel even WORSE sometimes if i reply to comments on some fics and not all of them. but i do my best and reply when i can. i was actually really fucking proud of myself because i had a couple days to myself in june, and i spent hours replying to comments on 20 of my fics. when you have almost 150 fics (i think? i don't even know how many fics i've posted by now), that is only scratching the surface. but i tried and i was so so happy i did that many fics at once. it's exhausting, though, and takes a lot of spoons for me to reply to them in mass like that plus time consuming. so i tried to be happy with those 20 fics and the comments i responded to there and told myself that when i ha a moment to breathe, i'd go and work on replying to some more.

but see, that again causes anxiety and guilt. because i haven't replied to all of them. and that anxiety and guilt can cause me to put it off further OR to put off important things like feeding my children or getting sleep in order to finish it, so i have to make myself put things into perspective and ensure i'm doing the important things, like taking care of myself and my family, first.

and then, i have a moment where i CAN go ahead and reply to comments... but i also have MANY fics that are on deadline and i actually have a schedule. a SCHEDULE. for when i'm going to focus on which fics. i can spell it out for you if you really want. i made it back in APRIL to make sure i didn't sign up for too many fic fests because there are so many going on right now that i want to participate in, but i know i can't do all of them so i had to pick and choose. and when you are SO overscheduled and busy that back in APRIL you had to figure out what fics you would focus on at what time to ensure you got everything written when you wanted to through THE END OF THE YEAR, more choices have to be made.

for example. my writing time and time for myself came down to only one evening a week for ALL fandom things i'm doing and a part of right now once the kids were out of school for the summer. it quickly became apparent that for my own self care i needed more time, so i worked with my husband to find two other days i could carve out at least 30-60 minutes to myself to write every week. and i did. but if i'm already only getting that much time and have committed to those fics and fests and things that you're running etc, you have to choose am i going to use this time to try to squeeze in some comment replies? or am i going to write? and i choose to write. simple as that.

so yeah. see it as selfish if you want. see it as mean. you can honestly see it as whatever the fuck you want, but for me? i know that as soon as i possibly can and i can breathe freely for once and not feel like i am constantly drowning in my day to day life and am doing pretty well when it comes to my fic deadlines and getting started on those christmas cards i'm once again going to be making by hand for everyone on tumblr who chooses to sign up for one this year out of the KINDNESS of my heart and the love i really do feel for so many of you, then i promise i'll be on ao3 catching up and commenting. my friends laugh and make fun of me for it sometimes, because they will sometimes get 10-12 replies to their comments in a single day. they know that's how i work. i WILL reply to every single comment i get, no matter how old it is. but for the love of all that is holy, do NOT add to the anxiety and guilt i already feel over it. the only place that will get you is the ask/comment getting deleted if it's a good day, a fucking long rant like this one if it's not, and a block if it's a REALLY bad day.

if you're asking me to be nice on ao3, then i ask in return that you also be nice by not demanding things of people that they are not in any way obligated to give.

[inter-somniac]

Borrowed Time

C!Foolish x Reader

Warning(s): implied death and resurrection

Part of @alex-quackity ‘s writing challenge. Prompt “You left before, now do it again.”

Foolish, in his human form, wasn’t that imposing. He changed himself occasionally, but usually he just looked like a smaller version of his god form. Sometimes he looked like just a man. You had grown used to the ever shifting face. The face that changed with his mood.

Foolish was hiding amongst the mortals of the realm. Everyone thought he merely looked like the totem of a god, not that he was a god. They were so unafraid, to the point that Tubbo had all but demanded that a mansion be built by a god. For the most part, Foolish tried to blend in, even though he appeared as a totem to himself.

But times hadn’t always been like this. The first time you had met Foolish, he had looked different. Soft brown hair and deep brown eyes had looked into the soul when he met you in the rain. It had been a stormy season and L’Manburg hadn’t even been about yet. Ms. Puffy had just set her boy out into the world, and taken a little one into her house in his place. Foolish was Puffy’s oldest. She’d found him when he had been as small as a totem, and raised him until he could tower in his godly form. You had been out making some deliveries. You ran a bakery before Niki had appeared. You still were unsure of where either of the half-end children came from.

Foolish had caught the scent of some of the freshly packaged bread and followed it to your cart. He had startled you half to death when he just appeared. It was raining. No one was normally out besides you when the weather got like this. You had never seen Foolish in his human form at that point, so he seemed to just be a wandering man, fixated on your wares.

You offered him some bread and he had told you he was looking from shelter from the rain. You were still so young, so naïve, that you had brought him home with you. You had been born around the same time the god appeared in Puffy’s care, and his human appearance resembled as such. One night turned into two, and so on and so forth until you and Foolish had become domestic partners. Life felt simple, whole, back in those days. Life as a baker, living with Foolish had been simple and happy. Until it wasn’t.

You woke up one morning to a cold bed. Foolish was gone and you felt sick. He never went anywhere before you got up. Something was wrong. Something had to be wrong. You got up, searching everywhere. He didn’t come home that night. Or the next. Days turned into weeks, into years.

You had accepted Foolish being gone. You had compartmentalized the hurt of him just disappearing without a word or a note. So when years down the line, you heard his laugh ring out into the world, it hit you harder than any swing from a war sword ever had. His voice was so happy, like it had been all those years back. It hurt. He had moved along and you had been living under the thumb of his memory.

You avoided him and the whole situation for as long as possible. You could for a while. He was building his temple in the desert and you lived in a small cottage near Snowchester. It wasn’t a problem. Then he got pulled into building the mansion. You spent days on end hiding in your little cottage.

You had finally ventured out to collect the usual package of goods that Puffy dropped off outside her Snowchester house. You were just picking up the things she had left when his hand caught your wrist. You looked up and watched his face shift. He was Foolish, your Foolish, again. His dark brown eyes were looking at you in a mix of shock and happiness.

“Y/N? You’re...I thought you’d have left by now.”

“I’m not like you, Foolish.”

The realization of your words dawned on his face and his gentle smile faltered. He realized that he hadn’t been so easy to forget like he was sure he would be. He had hurt you all those years back, and it was still staining your heart. 

“Y/N, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t. Just don’t”

A game of cat and mouse went on for several weeks. Foolish was trying to catch you and to talk, while you were avoiding him with everything in you. He finally caught you out in the pouring rain trying to pick up supplies that Puffy had left. He was already waiting when you stepped onto the porch, brown eyes glimmering in the rain.

“Y/N, we need to talk.”

“Why? Why do we need to talk? You left before, now do it again. Don’t ruin my life twice.”

His human image rippled and faltered. Within seconds, you were staring at the shin of a god that was well over 20 feet. His voice was like thunder, booming all around you when he spoke.

“Is that what you really want, Y/N?”

“Y-yes.”

“Then I’ll leave once I’ve finished my obligations to the people here. If that’s what you want.”

It was a long few weeks of apprehension and second guessing. You knew it was the last day he was supposed to be working here. It was late into the afternoon when you rushed to the construction site. A few people were wrapping up, but you didn’t see Foolish.

“Sam, where is Foolish. I need to talk to him.”

“He left? Said something about needing to get going before he stayed too long?”

***

Your eyes felt dry as you knelt on the floor of the temple that Foolish had built. You had spent all night at Phil’s being brought to the end of a mortal life again and again. There was only one way to summon Foolish now that he was gone. But you knelt, eyes looking up at Phil as he stood ready to take your final life. You clutched a totem of the undying in your hand and nodded.

As your life swung in the balance as the totem took effect, you looked into the deep brown eyes of Foolish. Fear and pain flashed across his face as he appeared, pulling your soul back towards the living. You had never seen Foolish this out of his element, and that was saying something for the god of the undead.

When you came back to the living, Phil was standing a foot or two, eyes wide. Foolish knelt with you in his arms, head bent to watch you. He was in his human form, and tears streamed down his face. Even Phil was unsure of what to think. Phil, the immortal who had seen it all, according to him. Foolish’s voice broke as he spoke.

“Y/N, why?”

“You left before I got to the site. I didn’t know how else to find you.”

“You almost fully died!”

“Yeah…”

[blissfulparker]

Sugar and Spice Pt.1→Dad!Mob!Tom

Parings: single!dad!tom x baker!reader

Warnings: none yet! Mafia!Au so future mention of guns, death, drinking, sex, smoking

Summary: Tom is one of the youngest Mobsters known to London, youngest and most successful he seems perfect to people, feared by people. But his deepest secret is that he’s been raising a son all by himself. No one to be with since the birth of his son until he walks into the small bakery last minute for his sons birthday and meets you.

A/n; so obviously this is more of a part one to a series(I know I always start series and then get really distracted with life) but I wanted a fresh idea and a fresh fic to start off the new year. I love mob!tom and I love dad!tom and I was hoping I could mix the two💗💗(also I have no idea how to do read more on mobile I’m so sorry😭)

Secrets. Everyone had secrets. Tom Holland, one of London’s richest, youngest, most successful mobsters, Had a son.

He had a beautiful boy named Riley, he raised him with only the help of his best friend and brothers. He was the smartest little boy he knew, charming and innocent. A little boy who didn’t know any of the dangers of the world just yet.

That was his secret. At age 20 he was rushed into life with the beautiful boy and one of the most stressful and dangerous jobs to manage. He did everything he could for the boy, it was always his boy before his work. Stressful days where he could put a bullet into anyone who walked in on him turned better when his son came home from school with stories.

It had been six years since his little secret was born and it was his best and hardest secret to keep.

And now he had forgotten his sons birthday cake. He was turning six years old today and Tom promised the best Spider-Man cake with iron man, hulk, all of the avengers in the flavor chocolate. Now he had to find a baker that could do all of that in the time span of six hours.

After endless calls, endless hunting, he found a small bakery in the smallest corner of London that was willing to make his son's wild fantasy come true on his special day.

Suit and all, rushed from work, Tom had walked into the small bakery. Ready to pick up the birthday cake and make his sons birthday the best one.

He was greeted with the smell of sugary frosting and warm baked goods. A career so diffrent from his as he was a man with blood on his hands and the people working here were the ones with the flour.

“Can I help you?” Your voice is soft and takes him by surprise. Not the voice of the older women he spoke with on the phone.

You’re covered in flour, chocolate frosting wiped on your apron and you rinse your hands in the sink. But you have a soft face, one that calms him just by looking at. As if you never saw a day of anger, of pain, of anything. You were simply a poem he wanted to read.

It takes him a minute to come back. He hadn’t gotten with anyone seriously since the birth of his son. Overwhelmed with his work and his son, he also had feared the idea of no women being good enough for his son.

Although his son longed for a mother, he could tell. He could tell the stories at bedtime weren’t as good as if it were a mother’s, every Mother’s Day was missed and he knows deep down that every nightmare would be better if he was cuddled up in a mother’s arms. Tom could give him everything except a mother.

“I’m here to pick up a cake.” He clears his throat. You notice the watch, the expensive suit and his scent, a deep wood, an expensive scent. He had money yet of all the bakeries he chose it was the nearly dying one. “It’s Uh, it’s my sons birthday and I’m here to pick up the cake. My name is Tom. I spoke on the phone earlier...with someone…” he stuttered nervously as if you might not have it ready. Laughing softly you find his order on the computer. Even your laugh was angelic.

“Sophie? The older women?” You ask and he nods.

“Yes, yes!” He didn’t know why he was nervous, awkward even. He shoved his hands in his pocket to keep calm.

“Avengers cake…” you look up at the man and he has a red tint to his cheek.

“My son, he’s turning six.” He didn’t spark you to have a dad look, you had seen fathers come in and out of this bakery. Most of the men in their 40s and stressed over possibly a my little pony cake or cookies for a last minute club meeting to make their kid smile. Most fathers had the same look though, tired and worn out in possibly old sneakers and a wrinkled shirt. This man had a different look.

“Ahh,” you search for a ring but don’t see one. A single, young dad who looks to have everything together. A book. He looked like a character from a book. “I’ll be right back with that.” You smiled before turning to the back. Leaving the man alone, in the lobby of the bakery.

“Quite the last minute cake.” You came out with the large cake done beautifully. Done with red and blue frosting and on top was all the small figurines that you had to search for. But nonetheless, it was gorgeous.

“Your wife must be lucky to have a man willing to run out and surprise their kid so last minute.” You sparked the conversation in hopes that you would see if the man is single or not.

“Oh, no, just myself.” He pulls out his card ready to swipe and you press down on your lips. Maybe he didn’t want a girlfriend, he was young but he looked to have his hands full with a six year old and a clearly good job.

“Well, then he’s lucky to have such a great father.” You tell. He tries to hide his red tinted cheeks again but you notice.

“Your boyfriend must be lucky to have someone who must always smell like cakes.” He flirted back.

For the first time in years, Tom had flirted back with a girl without the intentions of sex. He flirted back without needing a drink in his hands and to be at a bar. He flirted back not hiding that he had a son at home that could potentially turn away a girl looking for fun.He flirted back as just himself. And so far you had seemed to like that.

“No boy.” You laugh softly.

Your eyes flicker and stare into his. They are light brown, light brown laced with a sort of mystery. A light brown laced with charm, lust and a secret.

“Well then,” was all he could think of. His game was off, he’s realized that. The dangerous mobster got nervous around you.

“Well then.” You repeated.

It’s a mistake. He will be making a mistake if he falls for you. The mistake of ruining your life as he doesn’t know how far he could go protecting the ones he loves. Riley’s life was in danger every day and he hated that, he hated the women he once loved for leaving him all alone but was also given the best gift of a son.

Although the nappies and endless nights of screaming were hard, he would do anything to protect his son. And if he were to find the future mother of his son, he would do anything to protect her but her life would be just as risk as his.

Maybe it would be you making the mistake. He would be selfish to go after you.

“I hope your Riley has a happy birthday.” You say and he’s taken aback. He doesn’t know how you know it until he looks down and written in black frosting in cursive is ‘Happy birthday Riley’.

“Well, with the best decorated cake i think I have ever seen in my life, I’m sure he will not forget this birthday. I might not either.” He smiles at you one last time and you look down trying to hide the burning smile that wanted to spread across your face.

Once he leaves the building you turn and rub your hands over your face, finally letting yourself grow a smile that has been hiding the entire time.

For the first time in awhile, a man has made you smile.

-

“Happy birthday to you.”

Smoke from the candles filled the room. Six years, Tom had offically spent six years of his life raising his son. Being a single father as well as the youngest Mobster, Tom had his struggles.

“A girl at the bakery?” Harrison, Toms best friend, smirked as the two of them washed up dishes while the kids played in the backyard after eating their cake.

“It’s nothing Haz. I’m busy, remember?” He scrubbed too hard at the plate as he placed in into the dishwasher.

For a man who had maids most days, he wanted it to just be family and friends in the house on his sons birthday.

“Yeah. But Riley isn’t.” He commented looking over to the boy who laughed with his friends from school he had invited to celebrate the special day.

With a silent sigh and a stubborn mindset, Harrison was right. Tom was busy but Riley was a child who needed a mother.

“See? I’m right. Once again. Why don’t you go back and get your number so you can get your dick-“ his best friend started but Tom didn’t want to hear the rest of it. Rolling his eyes and turning off the water, he walks over the ruined cake and places it on the counter.

No words leave Toms mouth and Harrison lets out a sigh. Coming over to his best friend, his best friend who seemed to have the world on his shoulders only at the age of 25.

“Tom, this isn’t just about Riley. This is about you as well. This is about you finding someone and finally having some peace because your life right now is simply just working and at the end of the day being a father. Sooner or later, Riley will realize his dad is always locked up in his office and maybe a women can change some things.” Harrison placed his hand on his shoulder before walking off.

“Daddy!” He hears the excitement of his sons voice come into the room.

“Hey Bubs!” He lifts up the boy. He plants a kiss on his cheek and he holds his new Spider-Man toy in hand.

“Can Jasper sleep over? He says he has a Spider-Man too and that we can play together. Can he please?” He pleads. For Riley, Harrison’s words echo in his head about the women.

Tom sighs, if he had a mother who wasn’t apart of a mafia like him. He would simply not have to deny his boy sleepovers and simple things.

“Sure.” He sighs thinking of how he will have to move his 8am meeting to the afternoon.

His best friend was right. He needed someone and maybe that someone would be you. Maybe he should for once take the leap and go for you.

Please leave feedback it helps me out and let’s me know if you want another part!

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[dancingintheraindreamingonday]

You will always be the winter soldier - Chapter 5

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Author’s Note: 

This is a flashback of your past with Bucky. Somethings weren’t witnessed by Bucky or you because I just want to give more details about the thoughts of other people as well. So this is definitely written in a third person perspective. This chapter is really long but I hope you’ll enjoy it anyway. 

Bucky sits in a plane to Munich. Sam got information that the leader of the Flag smashers are currently working there. 

Bucky remembers the last time he was in Germany. It feels like an eternity ago.

„Tell me why I need to watch this series again.“, Bucky looked absolutely annoyed. 

„Its a classic. Everyone knows this series. It’s like general knowledge.“ You answered while scribbling something on your paper. 

„ And why aren't you watching this series?“ 

„Well my love, I know this series by my heart.“, you smiled at him and then saying the exact same thing the actor said on the screen proving him that you really do know this series.

Minutes later you closed your math book with a loud thump and throwing it on the ground. 

"I'm sorry. I don't want to torture you with this series. Maybe I can make it up to you." You winked at Bucky and kissed him on his right cheek. 

„Probably you will find a way.“, Bucky smiled mischievously and kissed you right on your lips with both of his hands on your cheeks. 

You and Bucky weren’t virgins but you both never had sex with each other yet. It made you nervous. 

And Bucky was nervous as well.The last time he had sex was an eternity ago and women changed through the times. Now women are so much more emancipated and strong-minded.

You kissed him. On his face, throat, neck and down his torso. You wanted him as much as he wanted you. 

In this night you and Bucky didn’t have just sex- you made love that night. It was something absolutely soft, and warm and caring about it. 

There was no much of talking and there was no pressure- it was just pure love without saying the word itself. 

Everything changed from that night on. From that day on you both were a couple, without labeling it.

Two weeks later Bucky accompanied you to university. It was something he did regularly and you enjoyed it. It gave your the feeling he was just a normal guy spending time with his girlfriend. And James from Bucharest was  indeed almost a normal guy. While you were bubbling about a math problem no one except math students could understand, he noticed a man.

Bucky knew when he was being followed and it agitated him. 

Now that he wasn’t just concerned with his life but also concerned with your safety it made him anxious. 

He grabbed your right arm and pulled you in a small alley.

You looked at him confused and scared. „What’s going on?“, you asked not understanding his sudden behavior. 

„I wanted to give this to you.“ Bucky pulled out a small mobile phone from his pocket. You looked confused because you already had a smartphone in your trouser pocket. 

„It’s a safe line. So, if you’re in danger or you just think you’re in danger- call me and I will come and get you.“

„You’re scarring me. Are you in trouble? Are WE in trouble? Do we need to run?“ You looked at him, touching his face to make sure he calmed down.

„No. Don’t worry. Everything’s alright.“ Bucky lied. „I’m just taking precautions.“

You doubted this reassurance.

„I can ditch university. I can come with you.“

„No. It calms me down to know that you’re safe at university.“ 

„Okay. But don’t forget: If you jump, I jump, remember?“ You quoted the movie you both watched last night. 

„You’re stuck with me. Where you go, I go.“

He kissed the palm of your left hand. „I’m not going anywhere.“, Bucky lied again. 

And with that he accompanied  you to university. As he left, you walked into your class and you took out your phone and your homework. You checked the latest news. The day before there was a bombing in Vienna but on this day there were breaking that there’s a picture of a suspect. The picture showed no other than Bucky himself. Your heart stopped for a moment and you couldn’t think clearly. This explained his behavior and fear. You knew he was innocent- no doubt about that. You knew the man you fell in love with and James would never do such thing. The only conclusion was that he was being fraud by someone else. You decided to skip the class and go home to find James. 

When you arrived outside, the campus was quite empty because the majority of the students were already in their classes. As you walked to the gate a man was calling you.

„Hey! Wait!“ He jogged to you. 

„You’re working with Bucky, aren’t you? You’re his accomplice.“ The man in front of you assumed. 

„None of your business.“, you muttered. You wanted to pass him but he stopped you by grabbing your shoulder. 

„My name’s Sam Wilson and you really need to come with me.“, he said, scarring you with his words.

His grip was so tight that you couldn’t break free.

„Im not coming with you. Who do you think you are?“

„I’m working with Captain America.“ He said. You could hear the pride in his voice.

„So? That doesn’t make you an authority. I don’t trust you.“

„You saw the picture, didn’t you? You saw the picture of him in the newspaper. You don’t strike me as a dumb person, yeah? You know what this picture means. They are after him. They are already here. So I need your help.“

„Why do you need my help? He’s innocent. That picture is fake and I know it. But do you? Do you believe in his innocence or what aim do you really pursue?“

Sam didn’t answer but he also didn’t let go of you. So the only thing that you could do was to kick him between his legs. But your head start wasn’t for long. You can’t outrun an athlete. He caught you with his hand which made you stumbled and you fell face forward on the ground. Your lip was bleeding. 

„Im sorry. I didn’t intend to hurt you.“

As you looked around you saw police officers pointing their guns at you and Sam. 

„You called the police?!“ You asked unbelievably.

„Ey. They’re pointing their guns at me too. So no- I didn’t call the police.“ 

They handcuffed you both and took off. Sam talked with someone via earpiece: „I’ve got her but the police got us both. I’m sorry.“

At the same time, Bucky, Steve and King T’Challa were also handcuffed. Steve looked at his childhood friend and shared the information Sam just gave him: „I’m sorry, but they’ve got her.“ 

To say that Bucky was furious was an understatement: He would burn down the whole city if they’d hurt her. 

When you arrived at the office in Berlin you couldn’t stop all the questions that were floating in your mind. „Why are we here? Since when is Germany responsible for crimes that happened in Vienna or Bucharest? Why were German police officers in Romania? What the heck is going on?“ You asked but everyone was ignoring you. 

Minutes later a man entered the room and you realized that this was Tony Stark. „Who is that?“ He asked, pointing his finger at you. You didn’t bother to answer him. You just turned your head away. „Alright. Kinda mean but we will get the answers anyway.“ He sat down next to Steve. „Is the thing you have with him even legal?“, he asked you again.

„You tell me. He was born in 1917. I was born 80 years later.“

Tony scrunched up his nose. 

The screen was turned on and you saw James. „Why is he in a cage? Why is there no lawyer? Is this how Germany practices its law now? Did you tell him his right to silence?“ You asked almost aggressively 

„You’re audacious and naive.“, said a man in a suit. 

„Stop insulting me. James is as innocence as I am. He wasn’t in Vienna and I told you that from the beginning. And no one in this damn room is listening. You’re just looking for a guy to take the blame. I don’t know how America treats their suspects but here in Germany they have human rights as well. They have dignity and they are still treated with respect and decency. All people have rights. We learned that 70 years ago and we will never ever forget it, understand?“, you spatted. „You imprisoned and treat him as if he’s a monster.“

„My dear child, do you know what he just did today in Bucharest? The damage he caused?“, the man screamed. 

„But it were you with the loaded guns, right?“

„He’s not just a suspect. He’s the delinquent.“

„In some countries there is a trial for this question to be answered, but you seemed to be hangman and judge in once.“ You provoked him. This was so unlike you that you really couldn’t understand the anger that was inside you. 

„I like her.“ Tony said. „She’s loyal like a golden retriever.“

„Stop insulting me even more. I’m defending the man I love that doesn’t mean I’m a puppy wagging its tail.“ 

Before anyone could say anymore to worsen the situation the power was gone for merely seconds but the power was back, Bucky disappeared from the video. Everyone in the room turned around and looked at you. 

„How are you going to explain this.“ Tony asked you 

„Kid, you stay here. Don’t even think about leaving this room.“ As Tony walked downstairs he asked himself if you’re related to a woman he met over 20 years ago who happens to have the same last surname like you did. No, unlikely. Almost impossible. 

Bucky, in his winter soldier mode only had one aim: to kill as many people as possible. But something was off. He hasn’t been the winter soldier for quite some time and the impact you had. The thought that you were hurt made him even more lethal. His priority was to find you and made sure you were okay. So everyone who fought him was a threat, an enemy.

It ended in a cafeteria where Bucky held a gun to the head of a seemingly important man. Bucky was circled with dozen of agents, all pointing a gun at him. 

„Where is she? Where is (y/f/n)?“ Bucky asked

„She’s okay. You don’t need to worry about her.“, Steve assured Bucky

„I don’t trust you. I need to see her.“ 

„We can bring her here. So you can see it for yourself.“ Steve suggested while Bucky just nodded. 

Steve and Tony ran upstairs and Tony grasped Steve by his arm. „What the fuck do you think you’re doing? You can’t bring her downstairs to him. He’s dangerous and she’s just a kid. You can’t control him.“

„He isn’t dangerous and I don’t think he would hurt her. After all they are something like a couple. She knows him. And we will be there as well. Trust me, Tony. Nothing will happen.“

So they both accompanied you downstairs. 

You’ve got nervous, shaking uncontrollably. „You don’t have to do this.“ Tony said. 

„And I’m really sorry that I compared you with a golden retriever. I just think that loyalty is a great character trait.“

You smiled at him. „It’s alright. I’m sorry too. For being so angry and impulsive and arrogant.“

„Are you scared?“ Tony asks. „No, I’m not. I trust him. I trust the man I love. He isn’t the winter soldier anymore. And that he remembers me in this moment- that’s a good sign, isn’t it? So I had a little impact on him.“

Steve opened the door. You felt all the eyes of the agents on you. Thats really made you uncomfortable but you tried to ignore and only concentrate on James. You tried to relax. Your hands where cold as ice- something that always happens when you get nervous. You walked towards him. „You need to let go of this man, James.“, you pointed with your eyes at the man. „I’m alright. I’m safe.“ You approached him. „You really need to let go of him.“ Your voice was firmer. „The agents here are scared of you. They see you as a threat. So I’m begging you: let go of him.“ 

And Bucky let go of him. „They hurt you.“ He stated looking at your bruised lips. „No, they didn’t. I stumbled.“ You reassured him. „James, you need to put down the gun as well. The avengers aren’t the enemy. We can trust them. I do. I trust them and I think we might need their help.“ And you kissed him. Right in front of anyone. You heard the thump of the gun greeting the ground as James let go of it. 

You broke the kiss and caressed his cheek. But before Bucky could say anything you looked to your right and something you saw made you so scared. You pushed Bucky with all the strength you’ve got, making him stumble a few steps backwards. But that was enough to take his spot. 

Bucky saw the redness on your shirt before he heard the bang of the gun. Steve and Tony screamed „NO!“, but it was already too late. You looked at it and all the color of your face vanished. You started to fall but Bucky caught you, laying you softly on the ground. Soon you lost you consciousness.

Steve used the chaos to get Bucky out of there. „They will help her. But you need to come. It’s not safe for you here.“ 

During that time agent Sharon Carter kept Steve and Bucky informed but Bucky had a really hard time. „She’s still sleeping. You are not missing anything.“ She assured him. 

When you woke up you were greeted by non other than Tony Stark itself. He read a German magazine. „Do you understand what you’re reading or are you just looking at the pictures?“ 

He looked up and grinned. „Really nice pictures. But I also get help with the translating.“ He pointed to his high technology-glasses. 

„How do you feel?“

„Exhausted but okay.“ 

You looked around and you saw James standing in the door frame. „James“ you whispered, reaching out for him. „I’m so relieved that you’re fine.“ Bucky looked at Tony who faintly shook his head indicating that you were still oblivious about the fight in Leipzig and the separation of the avengers. 

„What happened after I passed out?“, you asked

„You mean after you got shot.“, Tony corrected you. 

„Why did you pack?“, you ask James, forgetting the last question you just asked. 

„I’m leaving for Wakanda. They offered me to free me from the mind control and I’m gonna take that chance.“

„Take me with you. I want to be with you. I can’t imagine a life without you. Please, James.“ 

He looked you deep in your eyes. You could see how he’s debating on the inside. „Okay.“ And he kissed you passionately. 

Tony didn’t like that idea at all. „Okay, lovebirds. We better should look for a doctor to sign the release papers and you can rest a bit more.“ He ushered Bucky out of your room and when the door closed he let go of his facade.

„You can’t take her with you. Thats really selfish of you. She’s kid. She can’t throw away her life for you. She is not your psychologist. You know exactly what you are. You’re a murderer. Nothing will ever change that. You’re destroying her life. And you don’t care because after all you will always be the winter soldier. Nothing will change that.“

Bucky looked at Tony like he just got slapped. „I know who and what I am. I will never be good enough for her. Yeah, maybe I’m selfish taking her with me but I can’t imagine a life without her. I love her and I will protect her. I promise.“

„But can you protect her from yourself?“ 

As you packed your belongings James waited outside your room. „You don’t have to go with him. You don’t need to throw your life away. You don’t owe him anything.“, Tony stated. 

„I’m not throwing anything away. He’s my future. He’s anything I’ve ever wanted. Wakanda will be an adventure and I’m ready to take it.“

Tony suppressed all the things he wanted to tell you. He hugs you and said instead. „If he hurts you in anyway, call me. I’ll come and get you.“ He caress your hair and without noticing he took a single hair of you. He needed to know who you were to him. He couldn’t ignore his curiosity anymore. 

Chapter 6

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[thong-in-the-twist]

Chapter: Gwangju

//Gong Yoo (Kim Shin) x you

Summary: To atone for his sins he is forced to wander the Earth searching for her before it’s too late.

Prologue: Silla Goryeo Joseon Tamna March 1st

It's been three years since I updated this last. Exactly three years and 9 days, and I'm glad to be posting it. God it’s been so long I no longer remember how I used to format my entries. I don’t even remember my tagging system. A word of warning: modern Korean history is heavily marked with suffering and for the purposes of this story I needed "her" to go through... A lot. But there is only one chapter left, so hopefully, we won't be suffering a lot longer.

***

It was obvious to him that she was going to be reborn immediately. It worked like that for centuries, why this time it would have been different? So he started searching for her immediately, anxious. His land was crying, his people were suffering.

Forests were being cut down to fuel the new age, the industrialization age. Instead, the land was being converted into fields: rice, cereals, cotton. Colonizers were laying new roads, tarmac was flowing down the peninsula so similarly to cold mountain streams. All to fuel the new age, all to feed the great Japanese Empire.

Mines on the peninsula were running day and night, long shafts filled with exploited bodies. Names were being changed to Japanese sounding ones, men were forced to cut their hair, celibate Buddhist monks were forced to marry, kids were banned from learning Korean in schools, papers were censored, farmers forced out of their lands, his people were forced to worship Shinto, and to see the Emperor as a god.

Shamanistic rituals were even scarcer than during the reign of the Lee dynasty. People were no longer openly calling for him, but their thoughts thrown into the ether were reaching him. Pleas and begging, prayers and threats, all were filling his mind and heart. The burden was heavy. Not too heavy to carry, but it seemed harder than the sword he was carrying in his heart. It seemed heavier than the last memories of his other life, than the image of red on white stone.

She found her. Young girl in the seaside village, barely 20 kilometers north from the village where she was born as Binna, centuries ago. The village tree was still alive even if the village itself didn’t exist anymore. Kim Shin didn’t know what happened to it after he saw her sacrifice herself back then. Were it pirates, or wars, or famine that drew people out? There was no way of knowing it.

She was four when he found her. Back in Joseon she would have been found just in time, he’d have two years to convince her parents not to give her away. And then 11 years until she had to be wed. Her village was far off the beaten path. It was far from the capital and far from Japanese shores. People were hardened and down-to-earth but it was a tightly knit community. It was as safe as it could have been in that age and time.

Kim Shin spent his days under the Holy Tree, now surrounded by forest. He remembered the village square and colorful ribbons. He remembered tax collectors and their cart. He remembered Binna’s clothes and hair, and sword splitting her throat open.

Kim Shin visited her house by night. He hid in the shadows, not ready to be seen by her nor her parents. He watched her as she slept in the same room as the rest of her family. He watched her wondering what woman she would grow up to be. He hoped that he’d be able to shield her from any hardship that she was destined to face in her life.

While watching her sleep, he was reminiscing about her previous lives. Her bravery, her tenacity, her pride and her selflessness. The lives that were lived and ended for his people, the lives that were ended for him, the ones that were ended because of him.

Kim Shin was restless. He was used to waiting. He learnt to be patient after centuries of waiting and slowly working towards his goal. And yet, he was restless. Sitting by the Holy Tree he was restless and anxious. Her last life was sacrificed for the country. For this land, and for the people. And here he was waiting idly for her to grow up. She was safe.

The Holy Tree was old but strong, with new springs and bright green leaves. It was magnificent even without ribbons and paper talismans. It was safe, far off the beaten path.

Their people were not.

And yet, he was idly waiting for her to grow up and take away his burden, while sitting under the Holy Tree.

While their people were desperately begging for help.

She was safe. And he had time. He had enough time to present her the liberation of their people as a wedding gift.

And thus, Kim Shin was off once more.

*

Koreans were fighting on the peninsula, yes, but there were fighting abroad as well. Kim Shin supported the Provisional  Government of Republic of Korea in Shanghai, and aided students in Japan. When the empire invaded Manchuria, he was there fighting them off. He pleaded and negotiated with Chinese diplomats for them to move against the assailant before it was too late.

But the Central Kingdom waited too long, they were undecided way beyond what was safe. And thus, the Japanese attacked first.

The war that broke out drained the Korean peninsula even more. They were the ones to bear the brunt of feeding and supplying soldiers. And then, when Kim Shin was sure it couldn’t be worse, European war came to their lands, merging with the already raging Sino-Japanese conflict and bringing more players, more arms and more death into the equation. His people were forced into the Japanese army, forced to fight far away from their home – living and dying in China, Indonesia, Philippines.

He went where they were. It wasn’t their fight. They were farmers, artisans, teachers, workers – they weren’t warriors. He was. Kim Shin was back in the field, once more fighting for his homeland. Once more he took upon himself to be the most faithful agent of death. Immortal and determined, with unfamiliar weapon in his hand, but oh so familiar scent of blood, tears and fear clinging to him. The art of war changed through centuries but principles reminded the same.

But now it was harder to understand the purpose. It was harder to face dying foes. Every soul in his wake had hopes, and dreams, and dedication, and destiny – and yet he was invading the realm of the Divine, deciding who was to live and who was to day. What he did was to slaughter.

 But he was also fighting for his compatriots, forced to lay their lives for the occupant. He fought to save them and to bring them back to their land. He helped them escape, he cleared camps, he dealt with Japanese officers.

Japanese defeat was what they were hoping for anyway.

It was in Perek that faced his hardest encampment. It was in Perek that among Japanese officers and soldiers, and his people forced into ranks, he found others. It was in Perek that among male voices he heard female pleas.

It was in broad daylight that he marched through the camp, taking in the tents and appraising layouts and main locations. Where to get food, where to get supplies, where were the blind spots. It was in broad daylight that he heard a plea so similar to one he heard centuries ago in the Song Dynasty’s capital. So earnest and so broken plea of death.

After the first one came another, hurried and repeated like a mantra, like a prayer. And another, and another.

And another.

So familiar. So heartbreaking.

Here, so far from his homeland, he heard her begging for death. For an escape.

But she was safe. She was safe back in her village, on the shores of Eastern Seas. She was safe back in her village, so close to the Holy Tree.

And yet, it was her voice, strung thin and wavering, but unmistakably hers.

A taste of bile invaded his throat as he zeroed on a dilapidated building. Better than a shack only in the name, with dark walls and dirty windows barely containing the horrors inside. His surroundings seemed to disappear, sounds of the encampment dying out, the building his focal point.

He took his time. Waiting itself was horrible, pleas constant, it would have been so easy to just end it. End all of it, all of them, all of the oppressors, just raze the  camp to the ground. But he was afraid. Afraid of going inside and seeing that was happening, how they lived. It was easy to guess, and hard to understand. Justified rage was clawing his insides, not only for her, but for all of them. It wasn’t human to do, not that the occupant was ever human.

His fear was their prolonged suffering.

He fulfilled every one of their pleas. Every single one. Some wished for death, some wished for death for their oppressors. Some wished for health, some wished to never remember. Some wished for another chance in life, some wished for one last meeting with assailants and sharp object to meet them with. He did it all.

She wanted a knife. Sharp, and easy to conceal. She found it with glee and fervor. She wanted for her doors to be open and for night to be dark. She wished for rain, heavy and obscuring. She wished for that man to fall. To suffer. To know. To fear. To never forget.

Kim Shin watched her as she sneaked out of her room. He watched her back as she sneaked through the building, chastising himself for ever believing she was safe. It wasn’t even 15 years since he saw her last. He watched her as she found her prey. He watched her as she made sure that man would never do the same thing to another woman ever again.

His screams were muffled by a gag she made out of her sad excuse of a blanket. His blood was mixing with the falling rain, that matted her hair to her face. Her skin was ghostly, blush and looked paper-thin.

Once again he watched her as she raised her blade against herself. She was sure and focused,  and emanating finally found peace. She was quick and efficient, and he barely had time to catch her before she fell down. She was smiling when her head hit the cradle of his head and her open eyes were staring lifelessly at the rainy clouds.

Kim Shin sat there in the rain, holding her body, obvious to now quiet whimpers coming from the man laying a few steps away from him. Once more her life was filled with suffering. Was her childhood good? How did she grow up? How long was she here?

He didn’t cry – feeling like he did not deserve to. She wasn’t the only one of his people that went through this, and something was telling him that there were countless more suffering now.

*

Finding her was important, but making sure that the world she was being born into was better became urgent. Kim Shin knew he couldn’t deal with her suffering. All recent lives he witnessed ended in a tragedy. Queen trying to protect freedom, young girl fighting for it, and the one that saw it in death.

She deserved freedom, all of his people did.

And freedom came with pain, tears and even more death. Foreign powers fought over his land, influencing its growth and stagnation once again. His land was sold and divided even after its occupant lost the war. Both red and blue powers abhorred giving Koreans back their land and their freedoms, forcing their ideologies upon them.

And thus the greatest conflict shook the land once more. June 25th, the day when brother went against his brother. Three years. Three years of fights, civil war raging on the peninsula destroying what was left after 35 years of the occupation.

And even that conflict ended because outside powers decided so. Every death, every lost soul – it was all because foreigners decided to settle their differences right there on Korean soil. The wound left by the war was painful and still suppurating. Peninsula was divided into two, one nation was split and the border between them became a wall that separated families and broke people’s spirit.

He saw fourteen hundred years of conflicts and changes, and ups and downs, but the last hundred years were far the worst he had seen. For the first time in his long life he wasn’t sure how to go about finding her. If he even should. Every time he found her, he lost her just as quickly. She suffered so much.

But if he didn’t search for her, he was sure that the Divine would find another way to punish them. Like giving her knowledge of his existence and urging her to wait for him.

By now Divine schemes were somewhat readable. He’d find her where he’d least expect her – where she was supposedly the safest, yet in the biggest danger. People in the south were struggling, famine and corruption was rampant. North was getting help from other communist states and plotting expansion. And he couldn’t find her.

Just like when he found her on Tamna, she wasn’t here. She wasn’t within the borders of both Korean states. And that’s what horrified him. He looked in China, so many of his compatriots lived there. He looked in Japan among those who stayed after occupation. He searched in South East Asia among those who stayed after the second world war. He visited the United States of America, hoping to find her there. And yet, as if the Divine was shielding her from him, he couldn’t find her.

In Germany he saw the Wall. The Berlin Wall dividing one nation into two. The blue state and red state, just like his homeland, was divided. The Wall was fresh and imposing, newly built. A palpable sign of schism. A knife in a wound, cutting it more open with every breath. It wasn’t as protected as the inter-Korean border was but it served as a reminder of similarly painful division.

As Kim Shin walked by the Wall, on the western side of the border, he heard a cautious ask. Barely audible, fleeting.

The person was asking for a haircut. If he wasn’t over fourteen hundred years old, he’d dismiss it as an auditory illusion. What would be a Korean doing behind the Iron Curtain – asking for a haircut?

Kim Shin knew better. Kim Shin knew: she was there.

*

Finding his way into the USSR was easier than he thought it to be. As a citizen of the communist, neighboring nation, he was more than welcome. He travelled from Korea, surprised by the sheer numbers of Koreans on the USSR's eastern lands. But the closer he got to Europe the fewer they got. By the time he left Moscow, his head was clear and free of usual prayers. It was in Poland that he heard one more plea – a different voice, exactly the same ask.

Children. Who Kim Shin found were children. From 5 years old to 16. War orphans being cared for by people so vastly different from them.

She was among them, one of the oldest kids, happily chatting in weirdly hard language.

It took him quite long to understand why all the kids kept praying for a haircut. Their hair was neatly kept, just like their clothes, their rooms. There was something of military efficiency in the way they were being brought up, and Kim Shin understood that it was due to a few Korean supervisors that came here with kids.

Kids were cared for, but not exactly loved. That’s why they thought so fondly of getting haircuts. Hairdressers would pat and massage their heads – that was an extent of warmth they were getting.

*

She and the rest of the kids were sent back to Korea a few months later. She drowned in a river when she tried to escape back to her European orphanage for the third time. Yalu River was her undoing, just like those centuries ago cold waters of the sea took her away.

So much death. So much suffering. What for?

As the North's situation was getting worse, the South started fighting for its economy. Authoritarian governments in both Koreas were similar in goals but different in execution, and slowly their fates were changing. South Korea was coming out of poverty, just as North Korea started spiraling into it.

With newly found resources South Koreans were finally able to think and want – and what they wanted was freedom. Freedom through free choice and democracy. Assassination of general Park, southern dictator, seemed like a perfect opportunity – but before democratic movement could raise its momentum it was brutally squashed.

***

“If we all go, they won’t be able to hold him! We need to get him out!”

Every frantic sentence is met with loud approval. You weren’t surprised when they formed a new government without looking back at people. You weren’t surprised when Chun Doohwan took over KCIA while still holding his position in the Korean Army. Of course he would. Even martial law wasn’t a surprise. But a few hours ago you heard that they arrested Kim Daejung.

Kim was an oppositionist. He was fighting for democracy in your country, and what was more important he was from your region. Rumors said that he was being held on charges of instigating demonstrations.

What a bull…

You were there all because you wanted to be there, and wanted better for your country.

“They are closing the university!” The shout could be heard above the other voices. Suddenly the thirty of you fell silent. You focused on the man that shouted it. You knew his face, you might have seen him once or twice in the library.

“What…?”

“Chun declared universities to be dangerous to society!” The roar that follows is deafening. There is no more “inciting”, all of you immediately walk to the university, gathering other students while marching.

The road leading to the main entrance is long, which gives you a perfect view of army vehicles parked in front of it. Soldiers organizing were also visible, moving with purpose or watching you with caution.  Your group wasn’t big. Maybe two hundred souls. You weren’t sure what was the plan – but the goal was clear – to show that you wouldn’t take it lying down. They couldn’t take it all. Freedom, Kim Daejung, universities.

You weren’t sure who threw the first stone. It was all a blur. There was shouting, screams and orders, flying stones and falling batons. The students’ group dispersed only to form back, and to scatter once more but this time closer to the Provincial Office.

This time soldiers were wearing riot gear.

*

“You know well that I am going back out there!”

Your mother's eyes are filled with tension. The same tension pushes her lips into a thin line drawing her wrinkles out. She won’t back down, but neither will your brother and you.

“Mom, it’s what we have to do. They killed Gyeongcheol,” says Chanhwan. He is a high school senior and his goal was to get into your university.

“His poor mother,” whispers your mother as if against herself. That was something she said every time this was mentioned. Soldiers in riot gear killed Kim Gyeongcheol as he was passing by protesters. It infuriated the city and their protest was gathering momentum, but every person counted.

They needed to pay. For Gyeongcheol and for those who were killed yesterday.

What you wouldn’t tell your mother is the fact that you got guns. Yesterday you raided one of the military warehouses. It wasn’t an usual protest anymore, it was an uprising. Chanhwan told you that he heard that folks were talking about liberating Gwangju and making it into a free city. An official request for help was being drafted to be sent to the US Embassy. A country so enamored with freedom would for sure help you.

Freedom.

That’s what you longed for.

A horn outside let you know that your transport was there. Chanhwan was already out the doors, you stalled a second to grab your mother’s hand.

“Believe in us, mom. We will be back, victorious,” you said with emphasis. The world was yours to take and you wouldn’t hesitate. You run outside, not waiting for her to answer, and jump into the waiting taxi.

What an odd vehicle to be driving to a fight.

*

City was cordoned off and outside communications were cut. It didn’t scare you off. Nothing could, really.

Taxi was slowly rolling down the street, Chanhwan laying low in the driver's seat. He knew that as soon as he raised his head, he’d be dead. You knew that there were forces on the other end of the street aiming at you with their guns, hidden behind covers.

You and Chanhwan’s friend Sunwoo were slowly creeping along the car, using it as a moving shield. You could see a body that you were tasked with retrieving. You hoped the girl was alive. You all knew that not moving after being shot increased your chances of surviving if you couldn’t move on your own.

Suddenly you heard a loud bang and sounds of automatic fire.

“Run!” yelled Chanhwan and you didn’t need to be told twice. With Sunwoo you lurched forward trying to match Chanhwan’s accelerations. You kept your head low as smoke filled the street. Sunwoo was the first to reach the body.

Dead.

Boy opened back doors and together you pushed the lifeless body inside – not caring for decency you jumped inside as Sunwoo closed doors behind you. You heard him get in and Chanhwan was speeding off.

Girl’s hair smelt of flowers.

*

A helicopter was flying overhead. You’ve never would have guessed that you’d learn how to make Molotov’s cocktail. But there you were pushing a rag into a bottle. Sunwoo was in the field hospital, chances of saving his leg quite high. Which was more than could be said about many of your friends.

Casualties were high, but you weren’t ready to give up. The uprising cost the city too many lives to be so easily abandoned.

How could your government do that? You didn’t know. But you hoped for those soldiers to spend the rest of their lives knowing that they killed their own.

Chanhwan was on the other side of the street, giving you signs. You focused on him and he started slowly counting down with his fingers. As soon as you saw him countdown to zero, you threw your bottle.

There was an explosion and a sudden yell. You didn’t stay put to see the effect, you needed to escape as fast as possible. On your left you could see a group of fifteen or so students running the other way. There were fires and smoke and it could be hard to realize what was happening.

You lost your footing as you realized that Chanhwan was not running parallel to you. It seemed like eternity as you looked back to see him lying on the corner of the street. You could see his dark uniform jacket slowly dampening with even darker liquid.

It wasn’t conscious. Nor your scream, nor your leap.

The first bullet going through your arm was more surprising than painful. Second one caught your leg, tripping you down, the third one pierced through your clavicle as you fell. You saw smoke, and soldiers moving forward with riot shields, and your brother laying on the street, and an abandoned taxi. You saw another group of students running somewhere to your right.

Pavement was hot from the sun as you fell down. It didn’t hurt, or maybe it was so painful that you couldn’t feel it.

You saw a blue butterfly flying away.

***

Kim Shin forced his way into the fighting city. Through fields and through the army, he walked into the fray. No one knew. A village ten kilometers away? No one knew what was happening in the city. There were rumors, but not one could have prepared him for the riots he saw.

He saw students organizing, he saw local militias forming, he saw field hospitals being erected, he saw taxi and bus drivers using their vehicles to help the cause.

Had he done everything he could? No. Was it resignation? Maybe.

How many times had he seen her fighting? Why every time he saw her she was either suffering or leading a good fight. Why was she always selfless, and always right in the center of a turmoil ailing his nation. Just once couldn’t she be selfish and live?

Seeing her protest against authoritarian government barely half a century after she did the same against occupation filled him with unfamiliar annoyance. Rage. Why her. What did she do to be always reincarnated into such circumstances.

Was it even worth pursuing her?

Was it his atonement for not killing his king eons ago, even when she sacrificed herself. Was she destined to be laying her life for a cause while he watched her do it?

Defiance. That was what stopped him from acting. He could have gone on a rampage. Just like when he was a general, fighting with Gaya’s warriors. It wouldn’t have been hard, decimating troops. Those already stationed in the city, and those that would undoubtedly come to reinforce them.

He felt old. He was old. Looking at the fighting city he felt like it wasn’t his fight.

In the city he saw a foreigner. A foreigner with a camera. Documenting what was happening, what atrocities were committed on Gwangju’s streets.

Instead of watching her die once again he decided to protect the foreigner. To make sure that his recordings would be seen by the world.

As Kim Shin protected the foreigner, he didn’t realize that he could no longer hear prayers.

[streetlight11]

Her Promise

Summary: It wasn’t a secret that you have disliked Sangyeon since you were in diapers. He was your mother’s best friend’s son. Though he was born just 27 days after you, it seems like he was a lot older than you in terms of his maturity. You don’t understand why the bad blood between you two. Until one day, you had been arranged for a marriage with him so suddenly.

Theme: arranged marriage au, enemies to lovers

Genre: angst, sad, fluff

Warnings: mentions of leukaemia, death, alcohol, swearing

WC: 10k

Pairing: Lee Sangyeon x Fem!Reader

a/n: Hello! This plot just randomly came to mind. It's kind of sad and a little angsty but you'll get through reading it. I promise! also, the words in italics is a flashback :)

Your family has been a close family friend to the Lee’s family and that was because your mother and Mrs Lee were best friends since high school. Also the reason why you were only 27 days older than Mr and Mrs Lee’s only son. However, not everyone has a happy friendship. In this case, it was you and the said son. His name was Lee Sangyeon and it was pretty obvious that you two could never get along since you were in diapers.

Despite your mothers being best friends and have been for the past 30 years, give or take. It’s no wonder that when they were pregnant with the both of you, they kept fighting with each other over small silly things when they barely got past even the slightest of arguments throughout their friendship.

And yet, it seems like luck was never on your side to begin with because throughout your whole education life up till today, he always ends up in your school or at least the school that you chose specifically hoping to be as far from him as possible.

It always baffles you how he would be the first person you spot amongst the crowd during the first day of school.

Did he do all these on purpose?

Why would he go to this extent just to annoy you if you both hated each other?

Maybe he didn’t in fact do this on purpose, but still, what are the odds that you end up in the same campus amongst the hundreds of schools available? That was a mystery you never plan on solving.

It was a bright Tuesday afternoon, students were scattered all over the large campus of Hangang University. You had just parked your car in a free space, exiting your vehicle before proceeding to lock it and walk towards the Computer Science building. You were halfway through the parking lot when someone suddenly swung an arm over your shoulder.

“Good morning my favourite person in the world!” Lisa giggled to your left as Rosie appeared on your right with her usual beaming smile that could melt hearts with just a glance.

“Hey girls, you’re early” You asked with a soft chuckle knowing Lisa was always late for class.

“Yeah, I wanted to leave my apartment now like I always do but Rosie begged me to drive her today because her baby is in the workshop.” Lisa huffs, only for the blonde girl on your right to defend herself.

“Hey, at least we got here on time. You’re welcome.”

With that, Lisa stuck out her tongue at Rosie, earning a laugh from you. The three of you continued to walk to the CS building, only to find Jennie and Jisoo chatting by the lockers while Jennie scavenged through her locker.

“Ew, is it just me or is the barbeque chicken a little dry today?” Jisoo scowls as she drops the chicken leg back onto her plate.

“No, I agree. It’s foul.” Lisa’s face contorts in disgust before you speak up.

“Do you guys want my salmon instead? I'm kind of full already.” You said, only to find them staring at you in concern. They began asking you if you were feeling okay and if you needed any medication of any sorts. To which you shook your head and just told them you were already full from the breakfast your mother made for you before she left for work with your dad.

Lisa and Jisoo ended up sharing your salmon piece, making you smile. At least your food wouldn’t be wasted, you thought.

A few hours later, your classes for the day were finally over. All you know is that your bed has been waiting for your arrival since the minute you left for school. You left class slightly later, telling the girls you had something to discuss with your lecturer regarding the assignment.

You told them to just head home first and not wait for you.

Almost 20 minutes later, you finally left the lecture room to head towards the parking lot where you had parked your car earlier. Your mind was clouded with the assignment requirements as you scrolled through the soft copy of the assignment through your email, too caught up in your thoughts to notice the group of boys walking down the hall.

That wasn’t until your shoulder roughly collided against someone’s back. It sent your whole body to stumble back from the impact. You were about to apologize when you heard a snicker coming from whoever it was.

So you glanced up and lord behold, it was just the person you were looking for…

Not really.

“Can you pay attention to where you walk? It’s not that hard to use your eyes.” Sangyeon’s voice was monotonous yet a pitch higher than others, just like his ego.

“That’s because you’re in my way, Lee.” You said sarcastically as you walked past him, not forgetting to purposely bump into his arm. He let out a scoff under his breath, fiery glare burning a prominent hole into the back of your head.

God, you can be such a pain in the ass sometimes. Him included.

A few days later, it was finally a Friday. You heard words going around campus saying that one of the seniors in the school’s football team was having a frat party at his place tonight. He invited everyone in the football team, and people that he knew. Turns out he also told his teammates to bring whoever they wanted whether he knows them or not.

Lucky for you (or maybe not), Rosie’s boyfriend happens to be one of the football players. If you remember correctly, his name is Yunhyeong.

And so you already know where this is going.

Hence, the reason why you were now standing right outside the house where the party was held.

No doubt the house was a beautiful landed property at the hills that overlooked the city, it still didn’t give you complete comfort knowing that you would be surrounded by drunk young adults who have no care in the world once the alcohol takes over their system.

Sure you sometimes go to these parties but you weren’t really that type of girl. It’s always an unpleasant surprise to others who aren't your girls, when you decline their offers of alcohol saying you don’t drink.

Though there were instances where you’d have some people still insisting on giving you a drink, you rejected them firmly whether they liked it or not.

And today was no different.

One moment, you were talking to your friends. Another moment, and you were suddenly left alone by the kitchen island. Isolating yourself from the countless intoxicated bodies, dancing freely without a single care in the world.

It suddenly dawned on you that you were indeed alone, with no other individual that you recognize in that huge house. Your friends were scattered around the main living area, each of them either with their significant other or just randomly hooking up with someone. Using alcohol as an excuse to be brave and approach someone at a party like this.

You sighed, reaching into your back pocket to fish for your phone. You were so close to texting them you wanted to head home first, when a deep voice broke your little bubble of thoughts.

“Hey… Y/N right?” The handsome boy asked as he smiled down at you softly.

He clearly didn’t seem too drunk, nor was he completely sober like you.

“Yeah… you are?” You asked, hoping you didn’t sound like a bitch.

“I’m Changkyun. I see your friends have left you so I thought maybe you’d want some company?”

Well, at least he’s being considerate enough.

“About that… I was actually about to-” As you were talking, your eyes were searching the room for at least one of the girls. But instead, your gaze was locked on a specific individual who was leaning against the staircase railings just staring at you with a subtle frown on his face, making your voice halt in your throat.

It was Sangyeon.

You should’ve known he would be there tonight. He’s the freaking midfielder in Hangang U’s soccer team for goodness sake!

For some reason, the moment you met his eyes, it was as though you got sucked into a black hole with no way to escape. That wasn’t until the warm touch on your arm made you jolt away and soon turned back to Changkyun who was now staring at you with worry.

“Hey? You okay? What’s wrong?” He asked, hoping he didn’t scare you away by that simple touch.

“Y-Yeah… Sorry Changkyun, but I think I’m gonna head home. See you around.” You gave him a sincere smile before turning to leave after he said his goodbye.

There is no way you’re gonna stay there any longer. It’s not like you were drunk or anything. Not like you’d expected him to show up in black leather pants, dark grey button down shirt tucked in, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, his hair parted close to the middle to frame his face and show his forehead, attractively. And definitely not like you felt as though your stomach was doing a flip in your abdomen after seeing him there physically.

Right?

No. You still hate him. He’s just a walking nuisance in your life. You don’t feel anything for him. Maybe he needs to stop appearing in your line of vision every 5 minutes.

It’s been two weeks since that frat party in which you had texted your friends saying you were already at home. Of course you didn’t get a response immediately but they still replied to you the next morning, telling you they were safe and they were glad that you were too.

It was a rainy Wednesday afternoon where students were all stuck on campus with nowhere to go. You were just seated at a wooden table alone with your laptop and scattered notes on the surface when the ray of sunlight that was previously shining down on you, got blocked by a figure.

You glanced up and not surprisingly, it was Sangyeon. He was alone. For once. He was always with his friends, so you wondered why he chose to walk around alone today.

“What?” You asked nonchalantly before looking back down at your laptop.

You heard a scoff from him only for him to speak up, “Did your parents tell you?”

You got confused as you looked back up to him and blinked, incredulously at what he just asked you.

“Tell me what?” You asked. He wasn’t sure if he was faking it or not but he figured with how genuinely confused you look, it was quite clear you weren’t pretending to not know what he was referring to.

“My parents are coming over to your home this weekend to discuss ‘something serious’. I’m not going. I’m not about to sit there and listen to what the ‘something serious’ is, let alone sit there trapped and stare at you the whole night.” Sangyeon said blankly as he burned holes in your head.

“Good. I wouldn’t want you there anyway.” You scoffed, only for him to push himself off the table and smoothed down his shirt.

Sangyeon left without saying anything else, watching as he turned his head as though in search of his friends. However, the minute you looked back down at your laptop, it seems like you missed the way he glanced at you subtly before turning back in front.

That same day, you went home to find your parents in the living room. Your father was watching the news on the flat screen tv while your mother was just watering the potted plants on the shelves.

The minute you stepped into the living room, your father turned to you and smiled brightly, “Oh, sweetie you’re back. We wanted to tell you that Mr and Mrs-” but before he could finish, you did it for him, stunning them in the process.

“-Lee are coming over this weekend to discuss ‘something serious’... I know.”

With that, your mother and father glanced at each other before a smile appeared on their faces again. You already knew what they were about to ask so you beat them to it.

“Sangyeon told me… So what’s so serious that they wanna come over here and talk about it?” You asked, not knowing what to expect but all you got was silence.

“We have to wait till everyone’s there.”

“Not everyone’s gonna be there…” You said.

“What do you mean?” Your mother asked.

“Sangyeon said he’s not coming. He doesn't want to.”

“B-But, he has to be there. It’s important.”

“What’s so important that he has to be there for?” Your voice laced with annoyance at the thought of having to sit in a room with him for minutes too long. Your parents got quiet before your mother spoke up again but for some reason, her voice sounded weak.

“You’ll know on Saturday.” She gave you a weak smile. Too weak to the point that she almost looks… pale?

Why is she pale?

But your mind was too jumbled up with what the main topic for this said family dinner would revolve around. Hence, why you were now sprinting up the steps and to your room. You didn’t want to think about it anymore. You just hoped the weekend passes by before you know it.

Saturday came in a flash and to say you were ready for whatever family gathering this was, is definitely a lie. You were curious. You were desperate to know just what important business is there to discuss with you and Sangyeon. Despite knowing he won’t be there for whatever this meeting is about, it still rendered you curious on just how important this said matter is.

You were told to look presentable even though you’ll just be at home. So you pulled out the nicest outfit you could find and just opted for a simple blouse and your denim jeans.

Once you were done getting ready, you left your room only to hear your mother calling out to you from downstairs, “Y/N sweetie, the Lee’s are here!”

You made your way down the marbled steps, ready to greet the elder couple when your eyes fell on their son who clearly said he wasn’t going to be here. But of course, it looked like he had been forced against his own will to be here and you were right.

“Oh! My sweet Y/N! It’s been so long. How are you my dear?” Mrs Lee asked as you broke your gaze from Sangyeon only to smile happily when you looked at his parents.

“Hello Mr and Mrs Lee. I’m doing well despite my crazy uni life. I hope you’re both well and healthy!” You said as Mrs Lee hugged you warmly like how she had been doing since you were young.

After greeting them, the 6 of you began walking to your dining room. You then turned to Sangyeon who was walking beside you, only to ask out of curiosity, “Didn’t you say you weren’t gonna come?”

With that, he turns to you and shoots daggers at you through his glare but it does nothing to scare you away.

“Do I look like I wanna be here?”

“Clearly.” You said, just to get on his nerves and it did.

“Fuck you.”

“I’d gladly fuck myself too.”

Sangyeon frowns at your comment despite knowing it was sarcastic. But he still found it amusing that it came out from your mouth. Sure you’ve cursed him a lot of times when you fought with him, but this was a different thing.

All of you finally sat down in the dining room, you helped your mother set the table.

A few minutes went by and everyone was just chatting amongst one another. Well, more specifically the elders while you and Sangyeon simply sat there across each other in silence. You were absentmindedly picking on your food, suddenly losing appetite.

All you wanted was for them to start discussing the very important business. Which is why your patience has run thin, making you blurt out the question that has been floating in your head since Wednesday.

“What’s the important thing you called me and Sangyeon here for?”

The room fell silent as you kept your eyes on your plate of untouched food. Completely ignoring the way Sangyeon had his eyes trained on you. After what felt like hours, your mother finally announced it.

It made your heart stop for a moment.

“We have decided to marry you off with Sangyeon.”

That was the last thing you ever wanted to hear from them. Never did you expect it to be this. Why were they doing this to you? Of course you know you’re single and not dating anyone but still… How could they?

“What?!” Both you and Sangyeon said in unison.

Tension filled the air, thick in its wake. You couldn’t look elsewhere except for your mother who had announced the news.

“You’ve got to be kidding me…” You mumbled under your breath as Sangyeon got up, letting the chair drag painfully across the wooden floor. His mother grabbed his wrist to stop him but he roughly yanked his wrist from her and simply replied with his firm answer, “There’s no way I’m marrying her. I’m out.”

Sangyeon stormed out and you were so tempted to do the same but all you could do was glare at your parents in disbelief.

“Sweetie-” Your mom began but you were quick to interject.

“No! That’s not happening! Mom, you know we hate each other! How can you ask me to marry him when I don’t even love him?!” Your voice was raised as you stood up from your seat. Blood boils in your veins, heart pounding rapidly in your chest out of pure anger. You wanted nothing more but to scream.

You turned in your heels to leave but your mother caught your hands when you were about to reach the stairs. You pulled your hand from her grip, throwing your arm behind your back from the force.

“Sweetie please, listen to me-”

“No mom! I’m not marrying him and that’s final!” You yelled, too furious to even notice the way your mom had clutched her chest as her breathing started to become shallow.

Before you knew it, your mother collapsed to the ground but you were quick to catch her body right when she was about to crash onto the hard wooden floor.

“Mom!” You gasped as your dad and both of Sangyeon’s parents rushed over to where you were.

Mr Lee called the ambulance in which they came just 10 minutes later, carrying your mother’s unconscious body onto the stretcher and bringing her into the ambulance. Your father followed her in the vehicle while Mr Lee offered you a ride there.

Hours passed and you were waiting patiently outside the ER when a doctor came out. Your dad rushed over so you could only guess that she was the one who attended to your mom.

“Doctor, how’s my wife?”

“Your wife’s still under constant checks but so far, her heart is beating stably. However, it seems that her abnormal white blood cells have rapidly multiplied since her last check up.” The doctor said, making you frown.

“White blood cells? What’s going on? What’s wrong with my mother?” You asked desperately, still not sure of what’s going on.

“Your mother was diagnosed with Leukaemia stage 2 but from what I saw today, I believe it’s now up to stage 4.” The doctor announced, making you even more confused.

“What?” You whispered as you stared at your dad, hoping that it’s not true. But all you got was a disheartened smile that broke you into a million pieces.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You whispered to him sadly, upset that they’ve been keeping this a secret from you.

“I’m sorry baby, but your mother told me not to. She… She didn’t want you to get worried.” He replied.

You don’t understand. You knowing about this was better than keeping it hidden from you. If you had known about this sooner, you wouldn’t have shouted at her. Instead, you would have taken extra care of her. You would have given her more love than what she gave you. And you wouldn’t have to stand here, right now, hoping for your mother’s safety and health.

You slumped onto one of the chairs, staring into space as your father rubbed soft circles into your back to calm you down.

Three days passed and you have been visiting your mother at the hospital diligently after your classes. You stayed till night time, allowing your dad to fetch you from the hospital after he also came by to visit your mom.

You were currently alone in the room with your mom as your dad went out to buy dinner for all three of you.

She was just lying there sleeping peacefully after having a deep conversation with her about some things, her eyes now closed, breathing consistent, chest heaving up and down according to her oxygen intake.

You were just about to doze off when the heart rate monitor suddenly began beeping rapidly. It caused you to panic as you ran out of the room to call for the nurses.

When you came back, your mother was shaking on the hospital bed. Tears started streaming down your face as you found yourself curled up in the corner just watching the hospital staff do whatever is necessary to help your mother.

You didn’t notice your dad who had just come back, only to rush to you after putting the food down on the desk. It was when he cupped your face, that you finally realized his presence.

He pulled you against him as you couldn’t tear your eyes off your mother’s figure, shaking violently on the bed.

It was as though someone had dropped a bomb just a few feet away, a deafening silence pierced your ear drums followed by the single beep sound that was continuous without a pause. The sound soon became a mere ring in your ears.

You slowly brought your line of sight towards the heart rate monitor beside your mother’s bed and that’s when you saw it. The painful straight line with no spikes going up or down.

That’s when you knew, she was gone.

No. This can’t be real. This is just a dream. Wake up Y/N. Pinch yourself. Slap yourself. Do whatever it is to wake yourself up from this nightmare!

And yet, you’re still there in your dad’s arms listening to the nurse who wrote down the words you never hoped to hear.

“Patient is Jeong Hyemin. Time of death, 2143hrs.”

All the more you cried harder against your father’s chest. You were broken. Completely and utterly broken. Your mother left you before you could even say goodbye. She left before you could even tell her that you love her unconditionally even though you told her that everyday.

As much as your heart hurts, you knew you had to accept it. You knew you had to be strong for your mother. And that was exactly what you did.

The next whole week, you didn’t come to school. You emailed your lecturers personally and told them about your loss. They all sent you their well wishes for you and your dad, to which they excused you from school to attend your mother’s funeral. It broke you but you couldn’t collapse just then.

Your mother would want you to be happy, to continue living a wonderful life, with or without her. And that’s exactly what you were gonna do.

The next two weeks came as a blur and you were dreading for the day to finally arrive. You couldn’t bring yourself to look in the mirror and see what you looked like. Because at that very moment, you were in an item of clothing where you never thought you would wear anytime soon.

It was a wedding dress. Your wedding dress. It has finally come to this.

Your makeup stylist did a few touch ups to your eyeshadow whilst another lady adjusted the bow on your waist that separates your laced top with your beautiful silk gown that drops to the floor elegantly behind you.

If you were being honest, you had hoped for this very day to come when you would walk down the aisle with your arm linked with your dad’s while your mother stood at the front row, watching you proudly. Witnessing you entering a new life with your chosen partner whom you’d love with all your heart.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t the case for you and it hurts you. But you kept telling yourself the same thing over and over again.

“I have to stay strong.”

That was the last thing you mumbled to yourself as you left the bride’s room, only to head towards the outdoor wedding ceremony where your parents had already booked an incredibly beautiful mansion located at the highest hills of the city.

It was a small ceremony with only your family and his, and very close relatives of both sides but that was it. None of your friends were there but you already told them about today.

Little did you know, his friends knew about it too.

You were approaching the outdoor garden where everyone was waiting for you when all of a sudden, your emotions started swirling in you.

A tear rolled down your cheek the minute you saw your dad standing at the doorway which leads you directly down the aisle. Your dad gave you a soft smile before cupping your face and kissing your forehead. He wiped the tear away with his thumb as he whispered, “You look so beautiful, sweetheart. I’m sure your mother would be so happy to see you like this.”

With that, you had to force your tears back, swallowing them as you nodded before linking your arm with his.

The song started playing and soon, both of you began to walk down the aisle. The first thing you saw was Sangyeon standing at the foot of the platform. He was wearing a navy blue tuxedo, looking quite handsome if you were being completely honest.

But the frown on his face was evident enough for you to know that he didn’t like this as much as you didn’t like this either.

Once you were standing just two feet away, you turned to your dad who kissed you again on the forehead before putting your hand in Sangyeon’s outstretched ones. After your dad left your side, Sangyeon guided you up the steps carefully.

His touch was soft, almost as if he wasn’t touching you at all. Minutes went by and right after you’ve both said your vows, it was time for the exchange of rings and sealing the deal with a kiss but of course, neither of you agreed to it. So when you were officially announced as husband and wife, you both looked at each other with a familiarity in your eyes which screamed “I hate all of this”.

Sangyeon lets out a soft groan before planting a chaste kiss to your temple, pulling away as soon as he kisses.

Both of you walked back down the aisle and once you were in the mansion, it took you less than a second to walk away from him and make your way straight to the bride’s makeup room.

Sangyeon didn’t bother to call for you as he too made his way to the common room, wanting to be as far away from you as possible. He hated every single minute of this. He never wanted this. But he was being forced to. And he doesn’t even know why.

When he heard from his parents that you accepted the arranged marriage, it baffled him.

You were both so adamant on rejecting this whole fiasco during that night of the dinner so what changed your mind?

That was a question he could never solve.

Days became weeks and you had moved into the new home that his parents and yours bought for Sangyeon and you to live in. It was a beautiful one story home that had 3 bedrooms, one study room, one living room and a backyard complete with a swimming pool. You were thankful for the home but you didn’t think it was necessary considering the state that you and Sangyeon were being put in.

Nevertheless, you didn’t want to disappoint the elders. Hence the reason why you moved in with Sangyeon without a single argument with your dad and in-laws.

Unfortunately, the fact that you two were now living under the same roof, it was quite expected of you to end up fighting over the smallest little things. If being within radius of each other on campus brought unnecessary snickers and curses to one another, living under the same roof only heightened those said things by 80%.

There wasn’t a day where you could walk around the house peacefully unless the other wasn't home.

It has been 8 weeks since you lived there with him. Despite the constant fights and heated arguments that the two of you often get into, none of it leads to the other doing unfaithful things behind each other’s back.

Before the marriage, it was quite clear that you weren’t in any sort of relationship with anyone nor were you the kind to sleep around with strangers you just met at a club or parties. Whereas, Sangyeon on the other hand was completely that, except he too was single. He tends to sleep around with girls he met at a party or the clubs he went to.

But never did he actually pursue any of his one night stands because he simply didn’t feel that way for them.

However, when he got married to you despite being against it, he made a promise to himself that he should not do all those things to you even if he doesn’t love you. Because he knows that it’s wrong and that he despises people who cheat on their partners.

For that, he told himself not to be that monster.

And he didn’t. Thankfully.

But that doesn’t mean he couldn’t storm out of the house after an argument just to get fresh air and be away from you at that very moment.

This goes both ways as sometimes, you would do the same if you couldn’t stand being in radius of him.

But tonight was different.

You were just washing the dishes when the front door opened to reveal a very drained Sangyeon who had just gotten back from the gym.

He strolled through down the hallway with his duffle bag strap resting on his right shoulder, the wet patches on his grey tank top sticking to his torso, black track shorts resting on his hips. His hair was slicked back from being drenched in sweat.

You spared him a quick glance over your shoulder before you turned back to the dirty dishes. Unfortunately for you, he caught you glancing just in time.

He walked past you to go to the fridge after putting his bag down on the floor, opening it and immediately grabbing the bottle of iced water sitting there patiently for him to take it. He downed half the bottle in less than 5 seconds, only to hear him let out a satisfied sigh right after.

You remained quiet as he looked at you for a moment, a small part of him wanted to ask you if you’ve eaten but a bigger part of him, more so his ego, was telling him to walk away.

For some reason, he decided to go with the former. Something he hasn’t been doing all these years.

“Had your dinner yet?” He asked, making you turn off the tap after setting down the clean dish onto the rack above your head before turning to him with a slight confusion on your face.

“Mhm. You?”

“Not yet.” He said as he leaned his hip against the counter top.

“What do you feel like eating?” You asked, wiping your hands dry with the towel hanging off the hook on the wall.

“I kind of have the feel for kimchi fried rice… I’ll just make do with what is there in the fridge. No worries.” Sangyeon said with a soft smile on his face before he left to take a long shower. Something he always did when he had a lot going on in his mind.

The minute he left, you stared at his descending back for a minute before turning back with a confused frown on your face.

Sangyeon was in the shower for almost 20 minutes. Taking a warm bath to calm his tensed muscles due to the intense workout he did with Juyeon and Hyunjae earlier. After his stress relieving bath, Sangyeon changed into a pair of sweatpants and his oversized shirt he normally uses to sleep.

He towel dried his hair, leaving it in an utter mess on his head with no care whatsoever.

He simply brushed through his wet locks with his fingers haphazardly before leaving his bedroom toilet. Sangyeon and you weren’t sharing bedrooms. It was just a mutual agreement right from the first night together.

You took the master bedroom in this house while he took the second bedroom.

Sangyeon was just walking down the hall, scratching the back of his head randomly when he caught a strong whiff of something delicious filling his nostrils.

“What the?” He whispered to himself as he cautiously made his way closer to the end of the hall. The minute he made a right turn, that’s when he saw you scooping out the contents of the pan into a clean plate. To his surprise, it was the exact dish he told you he was planning to cook earlier.

He finally stepped out of the shadows, only to startle you.

You flinched but that was it.

“Hey… I figured you’d be too tired to cook so I made it for you. Just leave the plate in the sink after you’re done. I’ll wash it later.” You pressed your lips into a small little smile before placing the dish on the kitchen island together with a spoon.

Right when you were about to leave the kitchen, his voice stopped you from walking any further only to hear him whisper a soft “thank you” to you.

You gave him a nod and soon left.

Sangyeon stares at your descending back before you disappear from his trail of sight, only to then tilt his head in amusement at your sudden kind act. For some reason, he found himself smiling as he took a mouthful of your delicious fried rice.

Another 3 weeks went by and you had just gotten back from your night study session with Lisa and Jennie, only to find Sangyeon slumped on the couch. He had his face buried in his hands as he looked like he hadn’t slept for days.

You frowned as you locked the door and soon went over to stand behind the long couch, diagonally from the couch he was sitting at.

“Rough day?” You asked quietly, but all you got was silence so you tried again.

“Have you eaten?”

Silence.

“Do you want anything to eat?”

Silence.

“Sangyeon, even if you hate me, at least say yes or no so I can-” And that’s when he bursts.

“Shut the fuck up!” Sangyeon yelled as he glared at you. His nostrils flared upon every heavy breath he took. You were stunned by his harsh tone, clearly not wanting any argument when you first asked the question.

“Excuse me?” You asked with a tone that was pretty obvious to anyone that you were clearly offended by his words.

“Didn’t you hear me?! I said shut the fuck up!” Sangyeon stood tall, his face red as you could only imagine he was stressed about something. A scoff left your lips, feeling the anger seeping through your skin with every word he said to you.

“Why? Why do you want me to shut the fuck up so badly?!” You asked as you stared at him with mixed emotions.

“God, you’re so fucking annoying!” Sangyeon growled as he began to storm off but you stopped him by grabbing his wrist.

“Answer my fucking question, Lee Sangyeon! I was just being nice and caring about your well being and all I got was to shut up? You’re a fucking asshole you know that?” You said, your words filled with venom as he gritted his teeth, jaw clenching tight.

“Who taught you to be such a brat? Your mother?” Sangyeon accidentally blurted that out of sheer anger. Your grip around his wrist left and the next thing he knew, your eyes were glossy from the tears threatening to fall.

“Don’t bring my mother into this.” You warned but he was still fuming with anger.

“Why? Why can’t I?! She’s the only reason why we’re in this stupid marriage anyway!”

You didn’t know what ran through your mind but the minute those words left his mouth, you couldn’t help but swing your hand onto his cheek. This shocked him to a certain extent as he simply glared at you but never did anything to hurt you physically.

“Do you know why I accepted the marriage proposal? Do you wanna know why I decided to walk down that fucking aisle and have myself being called as your official wife?! Well here’s the reason why. I promised my mom I would.” You paused as he remained quiet. You could almost see the cogs turning in his brain as though trying to process your words.

“My mom died wanting me to marry you. She told me she wanted to see me walk down the aisle one day and into your arms. Until now, I don’t understand why she specifically wants it to be you, but that’s what she wanted. So I promised her that she would be there for when that day comes. But she left me before she could even witness that for herself. She left before I could even say goodbye. It broke me. It fucking broke me Sangyeon! That’s why I chose to accept the proposal even when…”

You stopped for a moment, not realizing that you had been crying until you tasted salty tears on your lips.

“...even when I didn’t love you. I did it because I made a promise to her. I don’t want to let her down, Sangyeon.... I never wanted any of this to happen. And I know you feel the same so I’m sorry.” Those were the last things you said to him before going to your bedroom and locking yourself in there.

Sangyeon was left standing there, feeling completely shitty with what he said to you earlier. He never meant to hurt your feelings. He should’ve known better not to mention your mom but he only said that out of pure anger.

He knows it’s his fault but his ego was too high for him to simply give in to his mistake.

He was about to just brush this off when he heard the door click and soon, you were seen leaving your bedroom with a cross body purse on you. You didn’t give him the chance to speak as you just left the house with a soft slam of your front door. He watched as you took your white mini cooper and drove out of the driveway.

“Sweetie, why don’t you want to accept the proposal?” Your mother asked weakly as you sat on the chair beside her hospital bed.

“Mom, you know I don’t love him. We’ve been fighting since we were kids. I don’t see why I should marry someone who I don’t love.”

“Oh sweetie, you can only learn to love by loving.”

“Mom, that’s just fairy tale talk.”

“Do you wanna know something?” She asked as you stared at her quietly while you caressed the back of her hand with your thumbs as he took this silence to continue.

“Your father and I weren’t on good terms too when we first met each other. We always fought in high school and it went on for quite a while until Mrs Lee set me up on this blind date and it was with your father. At first we found it ridiculous, but after that first date, I realized that maybe your father wasn’t as bad as I thought. And so, we started to slowly understand the process of loving someone and soon enough, we fell in love. Love doesn’t always come to you directly. Sometimes, you need to find it yourself.”

She paused, studying your facial expressions carefully to make sure you weren’t angry or about to burst at her for the next thing she was planning to say.

“Can you promise me something sweetie?”

“Anything… Anything at all mom.” You said with a glint of hope in your eyes.

“Can you promise me that you’ll marry Mrs Lee’s son? I don’t care when. Just… as long as it’s him. Even if I’m not around anymore...”

“Mom-”

“Please? For me?”

Your heart broke hearing her pleading voice. You don’t understand why she was so persistent in you marrying him but for now, you couldn’t bear to say no. You couldn’t bear to break her heart. So, with a heavy heart, you chose your mother’s happiness before yours.

“Okay mom… I promise. But you have to promise me too that you’ll be fine and that you’ll come back to me and dad, okay?”

“I promise, sweetheart. I love you so much.” She said.

“I love you too mom.”

That night when you came back to your old house, your dad greeted you at the door with a shocked look on his face. He asked you why you were there at such a late time so you explained to him that you got into a big fight with Sangyeon and that you wanted to stay there for the next few days. Of course your father was happy that he would finally have someone in the house with him, but he was also worried that Sangyeon would be concerned over you.

You told him not to tell Sangyeon anything and that you wanted time away from him for now, in which your dad just nodded understandingly. The next few days, you spent your days diligently avoiding Sangyeon as much as you can despite being in the same campus. Lucky for you, he had very different schedules than you.

Which means, better chance for you to avoid him and not accidentally bump into him on campus grounds. And so far, your plan is working.

It’s been at least 3 weeks since you last went home to your shared place with him and you were starting to run low on your clothing supply back at your old house. Which means, you probably had no choice but to go back there now.

In all honesty, you weren’t mad at him anymore.

You were just too stubborn to face him after that argument. But it looks like you have no other choice now.

Hence, the reason why you were currently standing outside your doorstep at 8pm, noticing the vehicles parked outside your gates. By the looks of it, those probably belonged to his friends. And you were right. Because the minute you unlocked the door, you were immediately greeted by the chattering and laughter coming from the living room.

You walked in further, carefully after taking off your shoes and placing them in the shoe rack. Right when you had just made it by the end of the hallway and the living room was in full view, that’s where you saw the 6 figures scattered around the room.

The TV was playing a movie while the coffee table was filled with boxes of pizzas and other snacks for them to munch on.

Before you could speak up, two of them noticed your presence, making the blonde haired one to say hi, “Oh, hi Y/N.”

With that, the rest of them finally turned around upon hearing their friend greet you. Sangyeon, who was standing right in front of the TV, checking the cables, whipped his head around only to lock eyes with you. He froze in his spot, unsure if this was real considering you’ve been avoiding him like a plague the past 3 weeks.

“Y/N…” Was the only thing he managed to whisper under his breath as you awkwardly chuckled, hoping you didn’t create an unsettling atmosphere for them.

“Hey…” You whispered as he carefully made his way to you. The moment he was standing right in front of you, neither of you spoke. Both of you are afraid of saying the wrong thing which could potentially lead to another argument. But Sangyeon was smart enough to know not to make unnecessary comments to you after what happened the last time. So instead, he opted for an apology.

“Listen, about that night… I- I’m really sorry… I didn’t... I didn’t know.”

You could only give him a small smile that he could clearly see was weak and almost drained as you spoke up, “It’s okay. Anyways… I think I’m gonna rest.”

He simply nodded, resisting the urge to pull you into a hug and tell you how sorry he was for treating you like crap all these while. These past 3 weeks have made him realise that he wasn’t the nicest of people to you, that he said a lot of things that had definitely hurt you in the past, that he has been nothing but mean to you.

Upon hearing your bedroom door close, Sangyeon lets out a defeated sigh before walking back to his friends who then asked him if everything was okay. After he told them that everything was indeed okay, he plopped back down on the couch but it seemed to worry his friends seeing how sad Sangyeon looked at the moment.

Whenever he was with them, he has always been the goofy, savage, often picking on the others to get a reaction out of them, kind of guy. They’ve never properly seen this softer side of him.

It’s been nearly an hour since you came home and yet, he hasn’t caught a single glimpse of you anywhere. He got worried for you, not knowing whether you’ve eaten or not. So he decided to check on you. He got up from the ground to excuse himself, telling them to just continue what they were doing.

When he arrived at your supposedly shared bedroom, he found you seated on the window couch just staring into the night sky. However, before he could even knock on the door and push it wider, he heard soft sobs from you that gradually grew louder. He stayed by the door and unintentionally listened to your whispers.

“I miss you mum… I’m sorry if I couldn’t live up to my promise just like you wanted me to. I know I’m not the best wife to him, but I’m trying… I’m trying… for you. I wish you were still here beside me. To guide me on how to be a good wife. To love someone without feeling trapped. To love someone the way you and dad loves me. I’m so sorry mum… I’m so truly sorry…”

Sangyeon’s heart shattered into a million pieces for you. That’s when he realized that his feelings for you had changed. That all he wanted to do right at this very moment was to protect you. You were broken, fragile and yet, he’s been treating you horribly all these while.

He couldn’t take it any longer. With that being said, he carefully and quietly made his way to you. Not making a sound as you had your head buried in your knees, cries getting louder the closer he came to you. However, when you felt his soft hands caress the sides of your arms, you looked up. Your eyes glistened under the moonlight, your cheeks soaked with your freshly falling tears.

At that moment, you looked so vulnerable.

So when he pulled you into his embrace, you easily let him. Burying your face into his chest as he gently rubs circles onto your back, caressing your head comfortingly.

After a few seconds of silence, you finally whispered against his chest. Just loud enough for him to hear, but soft enough that nobody standing outside the door could hear.

“I miss her Sangyeon…”

Sangyeon wasn’t sure how to respond to your confession but he tried as best as he could to make you feel better.

“And I know that she misses you too. But it’s okay, she will always be with you. You’ll be okay… I promise.” He whispered and almost immediately, you pulled back as he frowned in confusion.

“You shouldn’t promise me anything…” You said, your tears slowly getting lesser and lesser by the minute.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because the last time someone made me a promise, they promised me that they’ll be okay and that they’ll never leave me… And yet she did...” Your voice hushed. He could tell that that was your trauma. Making promises.

He felt a tear threatening to roll down his cheek but he managed to hold back. Sangyeon softly reached up to cup your face and caress your cheeks with both thumbs before he spoke up, “I’m sorry she did. I’m sorry that promise got broken. But it’s not her fault. You know it wasn’t. So let me make a promise to you now and this time, it won’t be broken.”

With that being said, you cried even harder as he just pulled you against his chest almost cradling you like a child. After almost 20 minutes in the room, he finally let go of your fragile figure and asked if you wanted to eat.

You told him you weren’t hungry and that you just wanted to rest. Sangyeon nodded, bringing you to the bed as he carefully tucked you in to make you cosy. He was about to leave you alone when you grabbed his wrists. Sangyeon turned around with such a soft gaze on you, it nearly melted you.

“Where are you going?” You asked with a soft voice, almost shy. Sangyeon found it so endearing that he couldn’t help but chuckle softly.

“I’m gonna go back to the boys and maybe call it a night early.” He smiled, to which you felt his other hand come to wrap its fingers around your extended wrist, gently pulling it away before caressing the back of your wrist with his thumb.

“Can you come back after… please?” You whispered as you saw him smile again before putting your hand down on the mattress softly.

“I will.”

Soon enough, Sangyeon left you in the room to rest for a bit while he went back to his friends and relayed the message to them. Thankfully, the boys were very understanding. They told Sangyeon to send their well wishes to you in which he definitely would. After they left, Sangyeon went ahead and cleared the leftover trash.

Silently thanking the boys for cleaning most of the mess up before he even came back into the living room. He was almost done cleaning, not forgetting to brush his teeth before going back to your room only to find you already asleep with your back facing the door.

Sangyeon couldn’t help but smile as he closed the door behind him and soon made his way quietly to the other side of the room.

He carefully pulled the duvet up, climbing into bed after putting the duvet back down.

He very gently lifted your head up to let his right arm slide under your neck as a pillow, proceeding to pull your body closer against his chest. Once you were both in a comfortable position, he gently wrapped his other hand around your waist. Caressing your side in a comforting manner.

“Goodnight Y/N.” He whispered as he soon drifted off into slumber.

Ever since then, both of you had stopped the constant arguments. You weren’t always annoyed by every little thing the other did. In school, when you’d accidentally bump into one another, either one would smile and acknowledge the other. Some people who witnessed this, found it strange but your close friends didn’t.

It’s been a good 4 months since you’d reconciled with Sangyeon. Though there were disagreements at times, those arguments would however, be resolved as quickly as it came.

But one thing’s for sure, is that during the past 4 months, you and Sangyeon had slowly found yourselves falling for each other. Neither of you said it out loud, but apparently those around you could visibly tell. Especially your friends.

It was a Thursday afternoon, you and the girls were just walking to the lunch hall when Lisa spotted Sangyeon and his friends just walking down the main building. It seems like they were heading towards the lunch hall as well. With that being said, Lisa called out to Sangyeon’s name, causing him and the rest to turn.

The minute Sangyeon’s eyes locked on Lisa’s and then on you, his gaze softened as you saw the corner of his lips curving upwards into a cute smirk.

They stopped walking to let you girls catch up and once you did, Lisa immediately went to Juyeon and began talking to him casually. The other girls went to walk with the rest while you came to a quick stop beside Sangyeon before you continued walking with the others ahead of you.

“How was class?” He asked, his arm accidentally brushing against yours as you walked further down the building.

“Horrible. Can you believe he wants us to submit 10 codes by the end of this week? I swear that man wants me dead.” You groaned in annoyance, only to hear him chuckle. But what he said next, caught you by surprise.

“But I don’t want you dead.”

With that, you turned to him as a small smile appeared on your face despite the frown you had. Both of you walked in silence, just basking in the conversations of your friends when you felt a soft tickling feeling on your fingers.

You glanced down to see that his hand was playfully brushing against your fingers, making you look up to catch him already staring at you.

Sangyeon smiled at you innocently, not sure if he wanted to say anything else until he felt you slide your hand into his, lacing your fingers with his easily. Now it was his turn to look down and then back up at you. All he did was chuckle, a sound you could definitely get used to.

A week passed and it was finally the weekend. You and Sangyeon didn’t have anything planned for the day.

Or at least you thought.

You were just lounging on the couch on a beautiful Saturday evening when Sangyeon came over to plop down beside you with a cheeky smile on his face.

“You’re oddly happy? What’s going on?” You asked with a raise of your eyebrow.

“I have a surprise for you but you have to go get ready okay?”

“Get ready? It’s already 7 o’clock. Where can we go?” You asked but all you got was a soft whine from him telling you to just do it. You opted to listen as he reminded you to wear prettily. You weren’t sure where you were going so you didn’t want to either overdress or underdress.

So you opted for simple denim skinny jeans, a baby blue sleeveless top, a white long knit cardigan and a pair of beige chunky heeled sandals.

When you left your shared bedroom to go to the living room, you were surprised to see him dressed handsomely in his black skinny jeans, a white button down shirt with the first few buttons undone, along with a navy blue bomber jacket. You saw him look at your outfit from head to toe, only for him to smirk playfully at you.

“Damn, who knew my wife could look this beautiful?” Sangyeon teased, making you giggle.

“Sangyeon, I literally wear jeans everyday.”

“Exactly.”

When you realized what he was trying to say, you soon found yourself blushing as you walked over to him and gently slapped his chest with your hand. Urging him to go before you slapped that cute smirk off his face.

Sangyeon couldn’t help but laugh but nonetheless left the house in his matte black Bentley. You watched as he drove down the street, bringing you to a part of the city where you don’t remember going to before in your life. The car ride was filled with jokes and laughter coming from both of you. He distracted you too much to the point where you didn’t even notice you were already at the location he wanted to bring you.

You looked out the window and that’s when you realize, “Is this an outdoor cinema?” You gasped when you saw the open field with a large screen at the centre, along with the endless rows of couples seated on their own blankets with snacks and drinks of their preferences.

“Sangyeon… This is…” You were speechless and he could see.

He chuckled as he just stared at you with such endearment in his eyes. Some people would just call it love.

“It’s wonderful.” You finally got to finish your sentence, turning to him with a smile.

“I’m glad you think so. Now let’s go! The movie’s about to start.”

Two hours had passed and you were now a few minutes in of the second movie. You noticed some couples were starting to get comfortable on their blankets. You were starting to get tired just sitting up straight and Sangyeon noticed your subtle shifts, desperate to find a comfortable sitting position.

“Hey, you okay?” He asked quietly.

“Yeah. I’m okay, just a little tired from sitting up.” You explained with a bashful little smile. Just then, Sangyeon thought of an idea that was completely beyond your imagination.

Hence, when he patted the space in between his legs, you glanced down and then back at him who was seen smiling softly to you. None of it was making you feel creeped out. In fact, you felt safe and that you could trust him. After all, he was your husband anyways. Of course you trust him.

“Come here.” He said as he stared at you calmly. He wasn’t sure if you were entirely up for this but before he could take his words back, that’s when he saw you carefully crawling towards the space he patted earlier.

Once you were seated in front of him, Sangyeon scooted forward a little before he slid his arms around your waist.

He soon pulled you against his chest, before he whispered in your ear, “Comfortable?”

You turned your head to look at him but instead got slightly flustered by the close proximity that led you to feeling his lips accidentally brush against your own. You got quiet for a moment, praying that he didn’t hear the way your heart was pounding against your chest.

You couldn’t trust your voice so you opted for a soft hum to answer his question. The next few minutes, you found yourself getting more and more comfortable in his arms, putting your hands on top of his forearms as you unconsciously caressed his skin in a calming manner. All the while, Sangyeon was behind you, completely distracted from the movie in front of him.

Instead, his mind was fuzzy with how close you were to him at that very moment. This was something he never thought would happen back when he was still young.

But now that he was here with you, just cuddling at an outdoor movie theatre, he couldn’t help but want more of this. Sangyeon found himself smiling as he couldn’t help but give your sides a gentle squeeze, telling you that he was there with you and that he would never leave you.

Thankfully, you got the silent message.

Because right after he did that, you turned your head to look at him. His eyes held the galaxy. You found yourself getting lost in his eyes.

Both of you were silent but it wasn’t awkward. You didn’t know what came over you but a sense of confidence washes over you. With that being said, you carefully leaned forward to close the gap and soon pressed your lips on his.

To say he was taken aback slightly, is definitely an understatement.

But it took him less than 3 seconds to finally move his lips against yours in a smooth rhythm. You brought your right hand up to gently cup his face as you kissed him.

Sangyeon tightens his hold on you, pulling away from the kiss only to look into your eyes with such adoration. He wasn’t sure if now was the right time to express his feelings for you, but he thought, what was there to lose. So with that thinking, Sangyeon took a small breath before he uttered the 3 words he never thought he’d say to you but he did. And every single word he said at that moment, was as sincere as ever.

“I love you.”

You couldn’t help but smile softly at him before you kissed him again in a longing kiss before pulling away and replying to him with the exact emotions you felt for him genuinely.

“I love you too, Sangyeon.”

~~~

[inctlife]

20 Years | LTY ~ Siwoo, Nari, Wonsik

genre: fluff

summary: growing up with the lee family

warnings: none

________________

Siwoo = 5 / Nari = 4 / Wonsik = 1 week

"Nari, Siwoo!" Taeyong called, his voice still soft, so as not to disturb the sleeping baby in the car seat in your arms.

"Daddy!" Nari exclaimed, running into the hallway, Taeyong scooping her up into his arms and spinning her around.

"Oh, baby girl!" Taeyong cooed, "I missed you!"

"Where's baby?" she asked, peering over Taeyong's shoulder.

You laughed, "he's here, Nari, don't worry."

"My little brother!" Nari cooed, wriggling out of Taeyong's arms to see the baby in the driver's seat.

“Our little brother!” Siwoo shouted, running after his little sister, crouching down to see the baby in the car seat.

“Careful, careful!” you chuckled, “you two have all the time in the world to see him, okay? He’s not going anywhere anytime soon.”

Siwoo = 9 / Nari = 8 / Wonsik = 4

“It’s okay, Wonsik-ah,” Taeyong smiled.

Wonsik frowned, turning to you; that was not what he wanted to hear at all.

“Mummy, I’m nervous,” Wonsik pouted.

You chuckled, taking him into your arms and kissing his head, “I know you are, baby boy, but everyone has to go to school some day. Aren’t you excited to play with some new friends? And some of your cousins will be there!”

Wonsik protested, wriggling around in your arms.

“Look, Lee Wonsik, that’s not going to do anything. Why are you so nervous about going to school?” you asked, pulling him away from your chest so you could see your son’s face.

“I miss you and Daddy,” he whispered.

You laughed, pulling him close, “we’ll miss you too, Bubba.”

“Wonsik-ah,” Taeyong cooed, “Mummy even cried last night because of how much we’ll miss you! But school is fun, okay? You’re gonna have so much fun, buddy!”

“Wonsik-ah!” Siwoo called, “I’ll be at school too! And Nari! You can stay with us at break time and lunch.”

“I can?” Wonsik asked, his big eyes shining with the threat of tears, until his big brother spoke to him.

“Of course!” Nari smiled, “come on! We’re already dressed!”

Wonsik giggled, wriggling; now to get out of your arms, and down to the floor, ready to get dressed for his first day of school.

Siwoo = 11 / Nari = 10 / Wonsik = 6

“Wonsik! Throw me the iPad,” Siwoo said, motioning for his little brother to pass it over to him.

But Wonsik’s head hadn’t wrapped itself round all the different ins and outs of language yet, and his brother said what his brother said.

Lifting his arm into the air, he threw the iPad across the room.

“Wonsik! What the heck?!” Siwoo exclaimed, as the flying metal hit his arm and landed on the floor beside him, the screen cracking.

“Wonsik!” Nari shouted, the iPad being a shared possession between the three.

“What happened?” you called from the kitchen, Taeyong stood beside you, rolling his eyes.

“Wonsik threw the iPad!” Siwoo yelled, storming into the kitchen.

“He told me to,” Wonsik said, waddling in after him, a sad look in his eyes.

“Why would he have told you to throw it?” you asked.

“He said ‘throw me the iPad’,” Wonsik repeated.

“Yeah! And that means give it to me! Oh my god,” Siwoo seethed.

“Shh, calm down, Si,” Taeyong said, stroking his eldest son’s hair, “it was just a little misunderstanding, okay? We’re not mad at either of you.”

“Yeah but dad, look at the iPad!” Nari exclaimed.

“Is it cracked?” he asked.

“All over!” Siwoo huffed.

“We can get you a new iPad, guys,” Taeyong said, “can you two just apologise to each other please?”

“I’m sorry for throwing the iPad, Siwoo-hyung,” Wonsik muttered.

Siwoo frowned, “I’m sorry.”

“For...?”

“For... For shouting at you,” Siwoo said.

“Okay, I’ll get you guys a new iPad. Why don’t you play with Legos for now?”

Siwoo = 14 / Nari = 13 / Wonsik = 9

“It is 3 o’clock in the morning!” you yelled, “what the fuck do you think you’re doing?! Taeyong, you’re killing yourself and you’re abandoning us!”

“I’m not abandoning anyone! I’m fucking working all for your guys!” Taeyong yelled back, both of you heated as you shouted back insults and arguments, most of them not even making sense.

“Wonsik-ah?” Nari called gently, pushing her younger brother’s door open, “you okay?”

You never meant for the kids to hear you, but you two were loud.

Wonsik nodded slowly, moving up in his bed, Nari coming to join him.

“You two are babies,” Siwoo said, but still came quickly into his little brother’s room, joining the two on the bed, “I’ll protect you.”

Siwoo = 17 / Nari = 16 / Wonsik = 12

“Hey, Siwoo-hyung?” Wonsik called sheepishly.

“Hmm?”

Siwoo didn’t look up from his textbook, furiously writing out notes.

“I– I just wanted to get your advice on something.”

“I’m a bit busy,” Siwoo sighed, looking up at his younger brother for the first time since he entered the room, “what’s it about?”

“Um... a girl.”

Siwoo smirked, sitting back in his chair, “oh yeah? Then I have plenty of time, what’s your question?”

“W-Well I wanted to confess. And I was going to on White Day but I don’t really know how...” Wonsik trailed off, he was so embarrassed, but he didn’t know who else to turn to, “can you help?”

“Our baby!” Siwoo cooed.

“Oh my god, fuck off,” Wonsik whined, going to leave, when Siwoo rolled his chair over and grabbed his wrist.

“Wait, wait, wait!” the elder laughed, “I’m just joking with you. What’s she like? Did she give you anything on Valentine’s Day?”

“Oh my god, who?” Nari asked, stopping her journey past Siwoo’s door.

“No!” Wonsik whined.

Siwoo cackled, “Wonsik has a crush.”

“Shut up!”

“Wants to confess,” Siwoo giggled.

Nari laughed, catching her little brother as he tried to leave.

“I’m helping,” Nari announced, shoving Wonsik onto the bed and sitting on the floor in front of him, “so, what’s she like?!”

Siwoo = 18 / Nari = 17 / Wonsik = 13

“Can you just fuck off?!”

“But you’re crying,” Wonsik said.

“Wow,” Nari scoffed, “really? I didn’t know.”

“Who’s crying?” Siwoo asked.

“Go away!” Nari yelled, throwing a stuffed toy from her bed at her brothers.

“Woah! That was so unprovoked!” Siwoo exclaimed.

“I just wanted to know why!” Wonsik laughed, “I’m sorry.”

“Why?! Why am I crying?!” Nari yelled, “I don’t know, maybe it’s because Hyunjin fucking cheating on me!”

The brothers were speechless, stood in the hallway as Nari slammed the door in their faces.

“Nari?” Wonsik finally said, after a pause.

“Just go away.”

“I have chocolate. I bought it on the way home from school today,” he continued, “do you wanna share?”

Siwoo smiled at his little brother’s heart, “I have this really good series we should watch as well, Ri!”

“What kind?”

“Plain.”

“Comedy.”

Nari paused, picking the toys up from where they’d landed by the door, “come in.”

Siwoo = 20 / Nari = 19 / Wonsik = 15

“Okay guys, we should leave Siwoo alone now,” Taeyong smiled, watching as you gave your son one last, long hug.

Nari sheepishly approached after you, her brother pulling her into a hug before she could.

“I’ll miss you,” she whispered.

Siwoo chuckled, “no you won’t.”

Nari scoffed, pulling away with a sad smile.

“I’m literally gonna be back at Christmas!” he exclaimed, pulling his little brother into a hug, “next you’re gonna say you’ll miss me.”

Wonsik sniffled, “I will.”

Siwoo smiled, “you finally admit I’m cool, huh?”

“I’ve always said you were cool, actually,” Wonsik said, Siwoo laughing as he pulled away.

Siwoo put his hand on his little brother’s head, “be good, okay?”

Wonsik whined, joining Taeyong outside the door as Siwoo laughed, looking at Nari, “you too.”

“I’m going to college next year, don’t get too cocky.”

“Okay, okay, let’s go,” you chuckled, wiping away your tears, “I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Bye Mum, bye Dad,” Siwoo smiled, waving, “bye guys!”

Wonsik and Nari laughed, walking backwards and waving until the moment they were out of sight from each other. Maybe they liked each other just a little bit more than they were each willing to admit.

Siwoo = 25 / Nari = 24 / Wonsik = 20

“Happy Birthday our Wonsik! Happy Birthday to you!”

“Don’t forget to make a wish!” you exclaimed, watching your youngest son blow out his candles.

“Does this mean we’re getting cake for breakfast?” Siwoo asked, looking at you and Taeyong.

Taeyong laughed, “buddy, you’re all adults now, we couldn’t tell you what to eat for breakfast even if we wanted to.”

“No! I’m not listening!” Nari exclaimed, “no way! I’m still 14!”

You laughed, “of course.”

“Hold on, why are you more distraught about your age?! Wonsik’s an adult, Nari,” Siwoo cringed, “how?! You were born like yesterday!”

Wonsik rolled his eyes, picking at the chocolate on top of his cake, “I really wasn’t.”

“It felt like it,” you commented.

“Yeah! I remember it!” Siwoo exclaimed.

Nari smiled, “so do I. Uncle Jisung was looking after us for a whole weekend.”

Taeyong sighed, “and now you’ve all become adults too fast.”

“I wouldn’t say it was that fast,” Wonsik said, “felt like fucking ages.”

“Oh you would say that, youngest sibling,” Siwoo tutted.

“Um, Wonsik! Language,” you scolded.

“Seriously?!” Wonsik exclaimed, Nari and Siwoo laughing at him, “Mum! I’m 20!”

“And I’m still your Mum? I’ll shout at all of you for swearing.”

“Not Siwoo!” Wonsik exclaimed.

“Well he’s the oldest, it’s different,” Taeyong shrugged.

“So unfair,” Nari laughed.

“Says you! Dad buys you literally everything!” Wonsik shouted.

“Oh my god no, you’re the most spoilt!” Siwoo cackled.

It didn’t really matter if they liked each other or not, in the end. They were still siblings; that’s all that matters.

[herooffire101]

This is actually specifically in the version of the human AU where Demeter and Bombalurina are sisters, though I could easily change it to the other one where they are not sisters and there is attraction between them even though Bomba never pressures her about it because it has to be figured out by oneself, not explained by others. Also, because there’s a lot more going on in Demeter’s brain in that universe. I…don’t think we should get into that right now. Also, naming several old swing characters. Also, I’m challenging myself with using this version of Demeter’s point of view on Tuggerlina, also because I think that this concept is hilarious.

And yes, this is my favorite one I wrote. I like humor. Also I retrofitted a line and two from my personal tomorrow's writing that I got writer's block from.

A Marriage Proposal in the wrong order

December 27th, 2006…

“Oh, when will they actually get married!” Demeter listened as she watched her mother and godmother Jenny rant about Bomba’s and Tugger’s relationship with now having Jemima between them yet again. Ever since Jemima was born in May, both Jenny and Jelly have been hinting to Bomba and Tugger about having a marriage and having Jemima as the flower girl, and Demeter was long suffering listening to this for the past several months. No one even knew if either of them proposed to get married! Last Demeter knew, there was an agreement between them since they were sixteen that if they didn’t kill each other first, they would marry each other after both of them turned 20. However, as is tradition with them, Jemima ended up happening. What happened was that they overslept the day of Electra’s first birthday, complete with a phone call from Demeter herself asking where they were, and it turned into one of those days that followed them to the surprise of a lifetime that altered both their lives forever, give or take some forgetfulness and absentmindedness on both parts including alcohol-induced idiocy the night before. In Bomba’s own defense, how was she to know that Bailey’s Irish Cream affected her that way?

‘Why are they trying to hint to the two most dense and ignorant members of our tribe.’ Demeter thought, mentally groaning at the conversation she was unwittingly part of because of course Munk wasn’t available for her to escape to because he was busy, Victoria and Michael were being watched by Skimble and Dad. ‘Don’t they realize that Bomba and Tugger can be the most difficult members, always being contrary and intentionally obtuse, even when Bomby lived here? Knowing Tugger, marrying my sister is a bit too impulsive for him. And who’s to say that Bomba doesn’t want the loud crowd that comes from the reception. I certainly remember her meltdown during Peter’s and Victor’s pseudo reception we had for them.’ Remembering how Bomba so didn’t like the loudness and partying that came with the wedding, with her shaking, and clutching her ears because of the noise level. Even when newly diagnosed at twelve when they went to the celebration and learning her limits. She can be on stage or in the orchestral pit, performing. That never affected her. But put her in the middle of the auditorium for a school assembly, on the gym floor surrounded by the rest of the school or even in an enclosed room filled with thumping music and a lot of sweaty bodies? That set her off. There was a reason why she didn’t go to Junior Prom or Senior Ball two years ago. Hating majority of the school populace and sensory processing issues, along with other reasons. To put it simply, Demeter knew what Bomba liked, and what she didn’t like, and knew that her sister highly wanted a controllable setting in certain scenarios. Weddings were one such scenario.

“We need to get it through their heads that being officially married will save a lot of headaches later on.” Jenny pointed out, taking a sip of her tea. “Demeter, dear.” Bringing the 17-year-old out of her thoughts. “Would you like to go talk to Beatrice about marrying Travis?”

‘Oh, an escape!’ “I get to see Jemmy along the way.” Demeter agreed, accepting the chance to escape the conversation between Mom and Jenny, “I’ll talk to her about it, though I don’t think that’ll work.” Saying the last part under her breath.

Mom smiled, waving her younger daughter off, “Have fun, dear. Just remember to talk to your sister about marrying that scallywag she loves. Heaviside knows that Etcetera is very insistent about Tugger and his attention...” Mentioning their youngest sister. Etcetera, or her legal name of Erica, was clearly becoming a handful with a cute obsession with her oldest sister’s partner. Bomba was already having some problems with Cettie because how much of a handful she was and that her loudness was setting off her sensitive ears.

“I’ll try, Mom.” Demeter said, standing up from the table and got herself ready to brave the cold Massachusetts winter that has already set in. ‘At least Bomba will have hot chocolate.’

~~~~~~

“I know that it’s been only two days since we saw each other at Christmas, but I really did miss you, Deme.” Bomba said, holding 7-month-old Jemima in one arm and handing her younger sister a steaming cup of hot chocolate in the other. Jemima was happy, her right hand held her favorite toy, a stuffed cat that was a darker shade of red, almost looking black in some places with a white bib, and the face was a calico that her mother made (A/N: This is completely intentional. It’s supposed to look like Jemima’s/Sillibub’s costume/markings as a cat. All members of the Tribe/Troupe have one, either sewn like Jemima’s and Tugger’s or crocheted like Bomba’s and Demeter’s) and her left hand held her mother’s darker red hair compared to her own only a shade lighter hair, with the curls she inherited from Tugger. Really, you would realize that Tugger was her father just due to the curls, but as agreed between all of them (this includes Cassandra, Alonzo, Coricopat, Tantomile, Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer as well) that their classmates, former and current, are incredibly stupid and decided to think that Macavity was her father. Jemima considered Demeter in what Bomba called ‘Her favorite people in the world’ group, which really only contained all of the Tribe, so when Bomba opened the door for Demeter Jemima cheered. By now, you really couldn’t see that Bomba’s left cheekbone was even fractured, proving that the plates in her face did exactly what they were meant to do.

“Mom and Jenny were talking again.” Demeter said, graciously accepting the hot chocolate, “Dad and Skimble are looking after the kittens again.”

“Plato having fun with Victoria?” She asked, curious about her foster son that only the past year she knew that she loved him like her own son and through technicalities was only her foster son for 8 months. At the mention of Plato made Jemima squeal in happiness. “You love your big brother, don’t you Jemmy?” A giggle coming from the tiny girl, both of the sisters knowing that she loves her big brother.

“Victoria really loves to dance with him, and he’s so patient with the other kittens, though it is concerning about how much Pouncival and Tumblebrutus idolize him even though they’re only 22 months old.” Demeter said, taking a sip of the hot chocolate, warming her up from the cold. ‘Somehow, Bomba always makes good hot chocolate.’ She thought, savoring the taste. “Is she old enough to have hot chocolate, by chance?”

“I rather wait until she tastes chocolate milk before I introduce her to hot chocolate, though it’ll have to be lukewarm chocolate instead of hot…” Bomba said, Jemima babbling to both of them.

Demeter eyebrows raised. “That’s smart. Misto and Victoria do prefer your hot chocolate to Munk’s.”

Bomba scoffed. “That’s because they got your impeccable tastes. And Bustopher’s as well.”

“’In fact, he’s remarkably fat.’” She quoted Bomba’s line in his song that Bomba always put in intentionally a lot of snark in.

“Yes, he is the St. James Street Cat.” Bomba responded back, knowing full well that she was not fascinated and thoroughly confused on why their godmother had a thing for Bustopher Jones. Jemima babbled, hearing the word cat and waved her cat around. “Yes, I know. Bustopher Jones is one of the cats. You saw him two days ago! Did you think that he is quite incredibly large, compared to Grandpa?” Jemima again babbled, and Demeter smiled at the scene in front of her. Bomba, and Tugger as well, were besotted by Jemima, knowing that both of them thought of Jemima as a promise, of happiness and forgiveness. She remembered the day when Bomba revealed to her one of her darker secrets from the warehouse they were kept in, and how Tugger and her made a technical promise that if they ever have a little girl with her eyes and his curls they would name her Jemima. While they were two of the more notorious citizens of their town (not on the level of Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer), they were the most loving, the most caring of the Tribe members. Munk and Old Deuteronomy explained to her that both of them did suffer from Mac’s abuse more than her and Munk himself when they were younger, Tugger being the youngest of the brothers and Munk being the kind protective dad-like brother he is. Bomba was Grizabella’s favorite student, alongside her. Demeter knew her sister had issues with Mac, but not to the extent that she thought until Munk set the record straight after both of them got out. It was then that Jemima yawned, which Bomba declared, “It’s naptime for Jemmy. Let me put Jemmy down and then we’ll have a proper sister talk.” Standing up from the couch they were sitting on and walked down the hallway to Jemima’s bedroom, with her sister singing 'The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide Is Press Coverage’ to her daughter, which reminded Demeter of how much of a Macadamia Nut her sister was.

Along in the open concept living room-kitchen-dining room, her eyes noticed something interesting on the wall next to the hallway, framed. Standing up and placing her cup on the wooden coffee table Tugger made only three years ago for a competition, she walked over to the framed piece of paper. As she got closer, she read the words written on it. ‘Certificate of Marriage between Travis J. Jellicle and Beatrice R. Ford’ With the signature of a Judge. ‘What. The. Hell. That little…minx! Mom and Jenny were trying to hint to them that they should get married and turns out that they fucking fooled us because they were already married!’ Demeter thought, growling at her sister. ‘And the date…June 20th, 2006?!? Jemima was one month old!’ “Oh, I am going to kill you…” Demeter growled, her Tanner Temper slowly building.

“Kill who?” Making Demeter turn to face her sister leaning against the wall next to her.

“When were going to tell us that you and Tugger were already married?!?” She quietly hissed at Bomba, pointing at her harshly.

Bomba gently pushed her offending finger away. “Because you know how I want control over certain things.” Her emerald green eyes razor sharp, glancing at the certificate. “I know that Mom and Jenny were planning a wedding behind my back. I didn’t want that.”

“Then how did you go through with this?!” Demeter hissed, angrily pointing at the piece of paper.

“It was Tugger’s idea.”

“Huh?”

Bomba started to explain…” Let’s get married.” He said early in the morning, watching as Bomba fed their month-old daughter.

“Huh? Married?” Pregnancy brain still hadn’t faded, “When?”

“Maybe today or tomorrow. It’ll make it easier for social services to grant us custody of Electra, confirm our custody of Plato, and protect not only you, but Jemima as well. Also, it’ll make filing taxes so much easier if we were married than not.” Explained Tugger, showing actual logic for once. “We can have Alonzo be our witness.”

“Because he won’t spill to our family?”

“Yes, also because it’s fucking funny. It’ll be hilarious to watch Jelly and Jenny trying to plan a wedding you don’t want and don’t need. And give Alonzo something to mess with Munk.”

“Do you think that we can keep it from Plato as well? Kids his age tend to not keep secrets well.”

“We can tell him that it’s a surprise and surprises are not meant to be told until we decide to reveal the surprise.”

“So, we’ll get married probably today or tomorrow, get Alonzo to be our witness, make sure Plato keeps the marriage a secret until we reveal it, and not tell our family that we got married behind their backs?” Bomba summed it up, seeing the hilarity and logic behind his plan. “Okay, I’ll marry you, Travis.”

“So, not only you’ve been married for six months, but fucking Alonzo knew?!?” Demeter harshly whispered, her temper fueling her anger.

“And Cass. Alonzo told her and why we were keeping it secret. Those jackasses decided to give us our gifts as ‘an early wedding present’ with the most shit-eating grin.” Bomba continued, rolling her eyes at the memory of their Christmas presents from them. “I so plan on getting them back next Christmas with the early wedding present.”

“Those two?!? The most enigmatic and quiet members of our group?!? And you thought not to tell me or Munk about it?!?” Demeter raged, keeping her voice low.

“Because.” Bomba said with a shit-eating grin, “It was fucking funny as hell. Our little secret. Tying everything in Legal Red Tape, bureaucracy at its finest. Worked so well with proving that Jemmy is Tugger’s. Now you know, want to help me plan the big reveal to Mom and Jenny?”

Demeter opened her mouth and shut it. ‘Oh, Bomba is so going to get it from Mom.’ “We’re going to tell Munk first, AND then Mom. Tugger has to tell Old Deuteronomy by himself.”

Bomba waved it off. “Eh, Tugger will be fine. He told Old Deuteronomy about Jemmy easily.”

“Mom won’t. She’s been planning it for ages.”

“More for you than me, Deme. You deserve it.”

“B-Beatrice!” Demeter gaped at her sister, astounded that she shook off that in favor of her.

Sometime later, at the family dinner…

“BEATRICE ROSEMARIE FORD, HOW DARE YOU GO BEHIND ALL OF OUR BACKS.” Demeter watched as Jelly scolded Bomba on how she and Tugger went behind everyone’s backs marrying each other in front of everyone. Jemima, sitting in her Pops lap (Asparagus Jr), just laughed as her Nana was yelling at her mother. Being the innocent giggling baby in this odd scene that would be considered strange to most of other people but not to the tribe. Or maybe will still be strange no matter what.

‘Sometimes, it’s good to be the younger sister.’ Demeter thought as she stood by Munk and watched as Bomba got yelled at, vindictive. She watched as Bomba not only cringed but covered her ears because of the volume. ‘Next time, just tell Mom about how you don’t want a wedding reception. Just let us celebrate and get some photos so that Jemima doesn’t ask questions when she gets older.’

I literally had this scene in my head, and it wouldn’t leave me alone.