#like I think if we made lif listen to that he’d be in a state just lost in the music

[nightshademyn]

Hope this reaches the right audience but to the people in the very small overlap in the Venn diagram of “people who are invested in the story of fe heroes” and “people who have listened to epic: the musical”, how horrible of an idea do you think it’d be to make Lif listen to the underworld saga?

[station-118]

The First Words We Say, Part Two

Soulmate AU!!!!!! Because I’m a sucker for them honestly!

Evan Buckley x Reader x Eddie Diaz

Y/N: your name

Summary: everyone has a soulmate, some even have two. You just happen to be one of the lucky few who have two soulmates. But you don’t see it as luck, no you’ve only ever seen it as a curse. And now you’ve come face to face with one of your soulmates!

Part One Part Two Part Three

It had been several weeks since Buck found out that you where his soulmate. And honestly, things hadn’t been going well between the two of you. Buck was beyond hurt, and he didn’t understand. You’d listened to him talk about how much soulmates meant to him, and how much he wanted to meet his soulmates. And the whole time you’d been his soulmate and hadn’t said a single thing to him. He just couldn’t figure out why. He’d even asked Bobby about why you’d kept it a secret. But Bobby had told him it wasn’t his place to tell and that he just needed to talk to you. But he just couldn’t bring himself to approach you.

He just felt so hurt and betrayed, and by his own soulmate no less. He couldn’t help but wonder if you hadn’t said anything because he just wasn’t good enough. Was there something wrong with him? Was he such a bad person that even one of his own soulmates couldn’t stand him? It was driving him crazy, but he refused to be the one to go to you. You where the one who ignored him, so you needed to come to him.

Meanwhile you where feeling just as bad as Buck was feeling, maybe even worse. You felt just awful about how upset Buck was. But you just couldn’t bring yourself to talk to him. You where a mess, and you just weren’t good for him. He was better off without you. And one day he would meet both of yours other soulmate, so he didn’t need you.

So the past several weeks had been spent with the two of you ignoring each other. The whole team was worried for the both of you, and on numerous occasions had tried to force you guys to sit down together and talk. But it was no use. You both where stubborn as hell. Bobby was getting annoyed beyond belief. He understood how you felt, and why you felt that way. But he knew how happy Athena made him, and he just wanted that for the both of you. But no matter how much he talked to you, you just couldn’t get past your self-loathing and your fears.

Then one day a tv crew had caught you and your team saving a bus full of kids. The bus had blown a tire, causing the bus to flip on its side. The 118 had been called to the scene to pull the kids out of the bus and check them over. And there just happened to be a news van driving down the highway behind the bus, so they caught everything on camera. And the rescue had made it onto the news, hell the story even went national.

Honestly you didn’t really think much of it. You didn’t do this job for the recognition, you did it to help people. So you just ignored the story, when really you shouldn’t have. When you left home at 18, you didn’t tell your parents where you where going. You wanted to get away from them, and never see them ever again. They’d made your life hell for years. They’d beat you, and treated you like crap your whole life, so of course you never wanted to see them again.

But they just so happened to watch the story on your team saving those kids. And they’d instantly recognized you. And then they’d heard the name of your captain, and the name of one of your coworkers. Both of them remember what your soul marks had said, so they knew that Evan Buckley was one of your soulmates. Neither of them was happy that you’d found one of your soulmates. To them, you should have stayed alone for the rest of your life. So they decided to take a plane out to LA to see you, and see what they could do about getting between you and your soulmate.

But you hadn’t known they’d seen the news story, so when they showed up at the station a week after the story aired, you were surprised beyond belief. You’d been walking towards the stairs to the loft when the two of them had walked into the station.

“Y/N!”

The voice caused you stopped dead in your tracks. You’d recognize that voice anywhere, and it caused a cold spike of dread to wash down your spine. You turned slowly to face the entrance of the station and stared wide eyed at your parents as they approached you. They both where smirking down at you, and it was almost like no time had passed since you’d last seen them. They could still make you feel two inches tall just from a single look.

“Mom, dad. What are you doing here?” You questioned, hating the way your voice cracked.

“We saw the news story about you and your team saving those kids, and thought we come and see you. It has been several years since we last saw you after all,” Your father stated.

Your first instinct was to cower at the look in his eyes. That look had always promised pain when you where younger. But you weren’t that same small child anymore. No you were an adult now. You where a firefighter. You routinely went into burning buildings to save lives. You could face down your parents. You squared your shoulders, straightening up, and frowned at them.

“Yeah, well there’s a reason for that,” You stated defiantly.

Both your parents scowled at your statement.

“Y/N, is everything okay here?” Bobby questioned, coming to stand next to you.

He hadn’t heard you call these people mom and dad, but he’d seen the way your face had gone pale when you’d first seen them. Then he’d seen how you’d flinched when the man had spoken. And he didn’t like it one bit. No way in hell was he going to let someone come into his station, and mess with one of his firefighters.

“This doesn’t concern you” Your father growled, glaring at Bobby.

Bobby scowled at the man.

“I’m the captain of this station, and these are my firefighters. So yes it does concern me when two people come in here and try to intimidate one of them!” Bobby stated, anger seeping into his voice.

“We’re their parents, and this has nothing to do with you. So butt out,” Your mom ordered.

Bobby felt rage course through him. These where the people who’d hurt you so much. These where the people who made you feel like you were worthless and undeserving of love. And they had the nerve to come in here and try to act like they had a right to be anywhere near you? Not on his watch! He stepped forward in front of you, blocking you from your parents sight.

“You’re their parents?! And you have the nerve to come in here after everything you’ve done to them?! Get out! Get the hell out of my station, before I call the cops, and have you arrested for trespassing!” Bobby shouted.

By now the rest of the station had gathered around you, drawn in by the obvious tension between you and the two strangers. Everyone was unsure as to what was going on, but the absolute hatred in Bobby’s voice as he spoke to your parents shocked them. And made them wonder just what they’d done to piss Bobby off so much.

“This isn’t over!” Your dad stated, grabbing your moms arm and pulling her out of the station.

Bobby watched them leave, and once they where gone he turned to face you. You couldn’t help but stare at him in shock. No-one had ever stood up for you like that, no-one had ever protected you from them.

“You okay?” He asked, pulling you into a hug.

You melted into his chest and nodded your head, tears coming to your eyes. Now that they where gone you could let your brave façade fall away.

“I’m okay, just a little shaken up. I can’t believe they just showed up here like that,” You whispered.

“They’re not coming anywhere near you,” Bobby stated adamantly.

“Thank you,” You muttered, finally pulling away from him.

He really was like a surrogate father to you, much better than your real father anyway. You caught sight of Buck over Bobby’s shoulder. He was staring at the two of you in confusion. He didn’t understand anything that had just happened. But he could guess that your parents weren’t good people, and that they’d pry hurt you. He felt a twinge of anger at the thought that someone had hurt you. He may not know you, or even be on good terms with you right now, but you where still his soulmate. Bobby followed your line of sight to Buck and frowned.

“You two need to talk, now! You need to tell him Y/N,” Bobby ordered gently, pushing you towards Buck.

You sighed but nodded your head. You knew he was right, Buck deserved an explanation, and it was about time you gave it to him. So you grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the locker room. But once the two of you were alone you faltered. How did you even begin to explain to him what was wrong with you.

“Are your parents the reason you didn’t want to let me know you where my soulmate?” Buck asked suddenly.

You turned to look at him, tears falling from your eyes, and nodded your head.

“All my life, they told me there was something wrong with me. That I’m a freak because I have two soulmates instead of one. And after a while, I started to believe them,” You pulled your shirt back enough to show him the scars on your chest.

He stared at the marred skin in shock, eyes wide.

“When I was seven my dad tried to burn them off with a branding iron… Buck, I’m not good for you. I’m a broken mess. You shouldn’t have to be tied down to someone like me,” You stated.

He stared at you for a moment, before pulling you into a hug. His arms wrapped around you protectively, and you felt yourself relax in his hold. Bobby’s hugs where nice and comforting, but there was just something so soothing and special about a hug from your soulmate. The two of you fit perfectly in each other’s arms. He pulled back from you slightly after a moment, cupped your face in his hands, and stared into your eyes.

“There’s nothing wrong with you! You’re not a freak okay. What they did to you was wrong. And you’re not some kind of burden. You help people every day, you run into burning buildings to save people. You’re amazing, and I’d be the luckiest person in the world to get to spend the rest of my life with you,” Buck stated, using his thumb to wipe the tears off your face.

You stared into his eyes, seeing the honesty in them, and you couldn’t help but smile. Maybe he was right, maybe you weren’t a freak undeserving of love. And just maybe it was okay for you to fall in love and be with your soulmates.

“And anyone would be damn lucky to have you as their soulmate. I’m sorry I kept being your soulmate from you. It was a mistake,” You replied.

He smiled down at you, and then you both where kissing. It took your breath away, and made you feel complete for the first time in your life. The sound of the alarm bells ringing pulled you both out of your first kiss, and you both laughed.

“Come on Buckaroo, we’ve got some people to help,” You stated, moving towards the locker room door.

He followed after you, a giant smile on his face. The whole team smiled at the both of you knowingly as you both climbed into the truck. But no-one said anything. They where all just happy that the two of you had finally worked out the problem between you. Now all you had to do was find your other soulmate…

[whumpqhs]

Whumptober #17: “Stay with me.”

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

[Recap]

“So, any attempt at breaking your conditioning with a release code would just be… me standing here, blathering gibberish at you, right?”

“Right,” he said, a little more confident.

“So, you’ll listen to the code I found when I read your file?”

“You didn’t read my file.”

Sonora waited, watching him in the dark. He gulped.

“…yeah. I’ll listen.”

“Find us an exit, and I’ll tell you everything.”

--

“The exit is a long way from here. We’re deep underground… getting remotely near one without being seen is going to be difficult enough, let alone up to the point where we could use it, and all for some elaborate lie.”

“Why do you think you knew what that stitch was called in the Empire, if you got all your medical training over here?”

Vael sighed and shook his head. “There’s a… set of maintenance stairs in the lift shaft. Cameras work but the lights have been down for weeks. We go up, if you’re right you’re right, and if you’re wrong we go back down.”

“A ‘lift’ shaft, huh? Not an elevator, like they call it in Pub space?”

“Shut up.”

“Understood, Keeper.” She smirked and followed him out of the shadows, alert for anyone else. He piped up for the benefit of the cameras.

“Looks like the hissing isn’t coming from here… better check the lif—elevator, and make sure the hydraulics are still okay.”

“Yessir,” she replied, as if on cue.

Following him into the maintenance door next to the lift entrance, she expected an enclosed stairwell, maybe winding around, possibly with landings, separate from the actual shaft. What she got was a dark, gaping void with a set of rusted steps leading up into the blackness… no handrail, just a foot of space between herself and the chasm above and below the car. As they made their way onto it, with her going first, she couldn’t help a little nervousness. Agents fear nothing, but it would be so easy for something to go wrong. Or for him to push her off. Here she was, risking her life for him, and he didn’t even believe that she was doing it.

The metal creaked under her shoes, but their steps didn’t echo, although it seemed they should have; instead, they were swallowed by the blackness, and after a few meters, even her eyes adjusting couldn’t save her. They were climbing blind, going from invisible step to invisible step. She tested each one, starting to feel the exhaustion from being on the floor. Her legs ached before long. She wondered how many floors they’d gone already, remembering the long ride down.

“What if the code works?”

His voice was so sudden that it startled her, and she reflexively pressed into the wall. After a moment, she started climbing again. Test, up, stand. Test, up, stand. Test, up… “Then we’ll exfil back to headquarters. Together.”

“I must have defected for a reason.”

“You didn’t… you didn’t defect.” She winced, remembering the notes from his interrogations. “But even if you did, your code will make you remember the reason, and you can just get it reactivated, if you want. I don’t think you’ll want. But if you defected for a reason, as you say, all this will do is get it back.”

There was a moment of silence, broken only by the steady rhythm of their footsteps as they climbed together, in step, winding around and around. Far below them, lights blinked on the top of the elevator car, little winking diodes that did nothing to give them any light all the way up here.

“How close are we?”

“Exits start appearing when we get aboveground. So, based on the way we haven’t seen any yet, I’d say… less than half of the way back to our floor.”

Sonora groaned and kept climbing, trying not to let the fatigue slow her down. Tired and mentally drained from working, and helping Tam with the postmortem care, was not the ideal state of being for a spontaneous exfil attempt.

Underneath them, the car rumbled to life and hydraulics began to pressurize. Vael grabbed her and pulled her back against the wall. As her back flattened to the side of the shaft, she barely had time to ask what was going on before—whoosh—the car rushed past them. Behind her, he swore.

“We’re gonna be missed up there. We’re running out of time.”

“Okay. Alright… I’ll try to go faster. Just... stay close.” She poured what energy she had left into getting up to the exit, which didn’t happen for what felt like years. Finally, a door loomed out of the wall ahead of them. A softly glowing sign read, “Outside exit. Emergency use only. Alarm will sound.”

“An alarm? It’s useless then…” Anxiety blossomed in her chest. Had he led her up here to get rid of her? Was he going to push her off?

“Works on the same circuitry as the lights--so, it’s currently offline. We use this door to sneak out all the time.”

“Sneak out? For what?”

In the weak glow from the sign, he grinned at her. “Just because I’m one of the good guys doesn’t mean I’m innocent.”

Sonora rolled her eyes. “Alright. So. Fingerprint? Voice? How does it work?”

“Fingerprint.” He nodded to her. “Your turn. What’s the code?”

“...no matter what happens, I want you to know this is only for your own good. We’re in this together, I’m not just gonna drop you. Okay?”

“You don’t have it, do you?”

“Keyword: Aurek,” she started, watching his face. “Five. Yellow. System. Seventeen.”

At first, nothing changed. He watched her, frowning… and then his expression began to shift. Sonora reached out to grab him as he swayed on his feet, hustling them both out the door. “Whoa there. Stay with me. Let’s not go falling down the lift shaft, okay? Come on…” She got little to no resistance as she helped him unlock the door and led him through, out into the cloying, humid night air, thick with mist from the jungle nearby. He stumbled along behind her. She thought he must be in shock.

“I was…” he started, as she slipped from one shadow to the next, holding onto his sleeve.

“Shhhh. Not right now, okay? As soon as we’re off base…” She murmured, scanning for a way out. A fence nearby was rusted to nothing, with a section of its metal caved in. The dirt underneath was worn through; it must be how they snuck out, like he’d said. She checked for patrols, or cameras, heart pounding in her chest, and then dashed across the short gap to the fence, slipping through the hole and pulling him behind her.

“My name… I had a… name…”

“Don’t rush things, they’ll come back on your own time. But yes, you had a different name.” Freedom. Sweet freedom, singing in her veins like spice. Tucking them into a void of deep shadows, sheltered by trees and vines, she turned back to look at him. “Your name was—”

What she saw stopped her cold.

His face was frozen and twisted on one side. She’d been pulling him along, feeling him stumble and stagger, thinking it was from the flood of memories, from the shock. But now she could see that his left side was motionless, slumped as if cut off from his brain. Her eyes widened in horror.

“…Vael. Oh, Vael, no…”

A stroke. Stranded on Belsavis, lightyears from home, deep in enemy territory… and she’d just induced a stroke.

[person-of-varying-obsessions]

Lif/Summoner (Part 1)

Zera’s eyes were wide as she gazed upon her most recent summon. She watched as Lif appeared from Breidablik’s light, stepping off the summoning platform.

He looked around as if lost. “Where… am I?” When his eyes landed on Zera, he seemed to realize what was going on. As he approached her, he regarded her with his rare brand of care. They were only a couple inches apart when he stopped. “Ah, I see. It’s you, Summoner. I-”

Before he got the chance to continue, Zera wrapped her arms around him. She squeezed him despite the pain she felt from the sharper bits of his armor. He was taken aback, arms hovering awkwardly at his side. 

“You finally came back…” Her voice cracked as she spoke through muffled sobs. “After we defeated Hel, I was given the chance to bring you back here, but I was too late. I worried for so long that you could no longer be summoned, so I tried over and over to summon you when a new Hero came around in the vain hope that you would be one of the newcomers. I felt lost without you…”

Lif stared down at her, at a loss for what to say. He wasn’t used to anyone caring so much about him - at least, caring after he had become what he is now. If he were his old self, the Alfonse of another world, then he would have openly returned the genuine relief and love. But being a general of the realm of the dead had changed him, mostly for the worse, if you asked him. 

He finally managed to return the embrace, but it was only for a moment since someone called out to Zera. She parted from the embrace, though she expressed clear reluctance at doing so. Lif was glad to have his mask because it hid the fact that he was smiling at seeing that this summoner had the same habits as his summoner.

Zera looked up at him, catching his gaze with her own. She took both of his hands into her own, one in each. “We need to talk later. For now, seek out Ephraim and get him to show you to your dorm. I’ll come see you soon.” She raised one of her hands to stroke his masked face, staring deeply into his eyes with emotions too strong to be mistaken before running towards Sharena, who had called out to her a moment ago.

A wave of warmth spread over Lif’s face as he absently nodded after Zera’s retreating form. He spent a few seconds collecting himself before looking for Ephraim, who he somehow remembered as one of Zera’s captains from when they fought against Hel.

+

The days turned into weeks as Lif adjusted to his new life as one of the many Heroes in the Order of Heroes. He had initially kept his distance from all except Thrasir and, oddly enough, Mercedes. 

She had approached him without an ounce of fear and asked if he wanted to join any of the other Heroes. He had declined initially, silently wondering why she would ever think to approach her. It later developed into an odd friendship, where she would inquire about his state of being - namely how the gel-like substance covering his chest and jaw worked - while he listened to her carefree worries, such as her usual daily activities and anything that came up in her life. He felt at ease around her and soon came to value her companionship both on and off the battlefield. 

He’d also made nice with other Heroes, namely Priam and Ephraim, and become a sort of “training buddy” of theirs. Everything was going smoothly, but he had no idea how to feel about it. He had expected to be shunned, whispered about, even vocally dismissed by his peers, but they all seemed unfazed by him joining their ranks.

[endemictoearth]

About Town Pt. 1

LONG TIME NO FIC

Hiiiiiiii guyyyyyys, sorry! I’m not convinced I’ve kicked my funk just yet, but this prompt from @i-dream-of-emus piqued my interest, and got me to sit down and write something! It’s not done, I’ve started part 2 and sketched out where I want it to go, but I really wanted to get something out there, and this seemed like a natural pause in the story while I gathered my thoughts.

PROMPT: Rae is well-known by the staff of Town Records, and when they don’t see their most loyal customer for a couple of weeks they get worried. Some how, they find out that she’s in the psychiatric ward, and want to do something nice for her during her time there.

So, each week, a member of staff visits her at the hospital with the latest NME and Melody Maker, and the week’s new releases. Rae borrows the CDs for a week, then buys what she can afford of the ones she likes most.

And guess who is Town’s grumpiest / best-looking part-timer?

* 

I didn’t keep exactly to the brief, and some of this will show up in the second half, but it seemed to scratch the itch of “What if?” for me. (Well, half-scratch . . . still got a bit of an itch.)

Not tagging anyone, but I’ll stick it on this month’s Round-Up. Hope you like it!

* * * * * 

It often takes awhile to notice when something’s missing. Like one of those “Can you spot the differences between these pictures?” puzzles they put in to pad out the Sunday papers. At a casual glance, it all seems the same, but when you have a think and start to really look, you see what’s gone from the scene, what’s been changed.

Finn chewed his thumb nail as he restocked the magazine rack with the shipment of latest issues.

“Dave?” He shouted to be heard in the back room.

A muffled “Yeah?” floated out of the half-open door.

“Where d’ya want me to put the Melody Maker Souvenir Issue? They sent us extras!”

Dave stuck his head out from the stock area. “They probably printed too many, the wankers.” He nodded to the counter. “Stick some by the till. Maybe we can shift ‘em as an impulse purchase.”

Finn nodded, chewing on the inside of his lip, now that both hands were occupied.

After stacking a bunch neatly on the counter, he plucked a copy from the top of the pile. Dave always let him have a couple of mags a week at no charge. For no reason he could name, Finn glanced guiltily at the open door to the back and slipped a second copy into his knapsack, then sat down at the stool behind the till, humming along to Elastica playing on the in-store speakers.

Waking up and getting up has never been easy,

Oh, oh, I think you should know.

Oh, oh, I think you should go.

Make a cup of tea, and put a record on.

Saturday mornings were always slow, but Finn liked putting things right round the shop. He’d straightened out most of the sections, filled all the magazine racks, even tidied the notice board. He wasn’t the most personable employee at Town, and he knew Rob generally liked a late night of a Friday, so he didn’t mind volunteering to come in at half-eight on a Saturday, even if he ended up bored for the last hour or two of his shift.

It also meant he could visit his nan after. Normally, he’d stop over at her cottage, which was much closer to Town than his own house, but she’d had to go into hospital for some routine tests earlier in the week, and they’d kept her over, saying they wanted to monitor some levels or something. It didn’t sound good, but they kept telling her not to worry, which she in turn told Finn, but his nails looked even more of a state than usual.

He was gnawing on another cuticle when Rob rocked up through the front door, looking rough but resigned to a full day of work.

He nodded at Finn, who nodded back, and then shoved the door to the back wide open as he went to deposit his stuff in his locker.

Finn didn’t have a locker, as he only worked about ten hours a week. His eyes flitted to the clock, and he was surprised to note that Rob had come in early. It wasn’t yet noon, and Finn was supposed to leave at one. Usually, they were ships passing.

Finn looked down at the cover of the Melody Maker special, the Brothers Gallagher staring deadpan back at him. The song changed over on the stereo system, and he could hear the clock tick a few seconds in the silence before Morning Glory (ironically) started up.

There were no customers in the shop, hadn’t been for most of the morning, but suddenly and unaccountably, it made Finn feel nervous, restless. He’d felt it was quiet for the past few weeks, really. It was like he was living the same Saturday over and over each week, waiting for . . . something.

Rob came out and plopped down next to Finn behind the counter, sighing.

“Y’alright?” Finn asked.

“Good as can be expected.”

Finn nodded.

“You?” Rob asked back.

Finn shrugged.

“Eh?”

Finn sighed now. Rob was a decent sort, and there wasn’t anyone else about. “Me nan’s ill. Well, maybe not, but she’s in the hospital for a bit, I guess to make sure she’s not? Anyway.”

“Hey, that’s shite. Sorry to hear it. Hope she’s okay, yeah?”

“Thanks.” Finn shifted on his stool, still restless. “This place has been dead. Deader’n usual, even.”

“I know. Haven’t even seen that girl, you know the one, is it Mae?, come in recently. Have you seen her?” Rob asked offhand.

Finn froze. “Rae,” he whispered. That was it.

He’d kept having these weird half-thoughts, just glimpses flitting across his mind, of a figure with long dark hair, moving around the shop. But they’d been so fleeting, so transitory, he hadn’t been able to put his finger on it.

She rarely spoke to anyone, just sort of appeared, usually around noon of a Saturday, this sort of time. Sometimes he’d see her in the late afternoon during one of his mid-week post-college shifts, but she’d been a fixture on Saturdays until recently.

He furrowed his brow. “Yeah . . . I mean, no. It’s been a few weeks, at least. Wonder what’s happened to her.” As soon as he said it, he realized he hoped nothing had happened to her. That she just decided to spend her Saturdays somewhere else, or was out of town, even moved. Though, he didn’t really hope that last one.

*

She didn’t buy much, but when she did, it was something good. Something he could tell she’d thought long and hard about, having saved and researched and listened to as many tracks as she could before committing to it.

He distinctly remembered her being near the front of the queue for the new Oasis on release day back in October, though. He’d asked his dad if he could bunk off and work, so he could get his hands on his copy first thing in the morning, before the shop opened to the public.

“Remember when that last Status Quo album come out?” he asked, eyes pleading his case. “You moved your morning meeting so’s you could get it first thing.”

His dad had rolled his eyes but relented, as long as Finn promised to take the bins out for a month without his usual whinging.

And when he turned up at the shop, there was actually a line down to the chemist’s a few doors away. He’d felt special, being able to walk past the crowd and wave to Dave inside, who came over to let him in early. “Not your usual release day, eh?”

Dave grunted. “I noticed you pre-ordered one, too. You can have your pick of the discs, as long as you’re quick about it. I’ll have to let this lot in soon, or risk the wrath of Mr. Singh next door. They’re blocking his entrance.”

Finn ducked his head behind the counter and saw nearly a hundred CDs in neat stacks. Logically, he knew they were all the same, but he wanted the best one. He randomly picked the third one from the top of the second pile, inspecting the case for damage, the wrapper for tampering. It looked good--pristine, even. He slipped it in one of the paper bags by the till and put it in his own bag, in a pocket all by itself.

Even now, months later, he could remember that feeling of satisfaction after so much anticipation. Before he’d even listened to anything but the two songs released for the radio, simply possessing it—the mere possibility of how much he might like it--had been tantalizing.

He wasn’t precisely sure why his brain was hashing over that day on this day, until the memory expanded to seeing her, Rae, come in with her eyes shining and cheeks flushed from waiting in the morning chill for more than an hour. He remembered noticing her uniform, which he’d never seen her in before. She looked like she felt uncomfortable in it, but possibly a little less uncomfortable than normal, since she was getting to pick up this album.

Dave was running the till; Finn was bagging the CDs. It only took them about half an hour to get through the line, but the moment when Rae was at the counter seemed . . . well, memorable. After all, here he was, remembering it.

“Yours was the third name on my list for this, love,” Dave chided Rae as he took her bills and made change.

“Yeah?” she asked, “Who was ahead of me, then?” She was in a good mood, all smiles. Finn couldn’t remember ever seeing her smile that big.

“Just this one,” he hoiked a thumb in Finn’s direction, “And Rob, of course.”

Rae turned to look at Finn, probably reflexively, and their eyes met. “Felt like today’d never come, eh? Been waiting for this for months.”

That might have been the first time she’d spoken to Finn without him speaking first. And the only time he’d initiated conversation was likely to be part of a transaction.

Finn nodded. “I know! It seems like I’ve been waiting forever, but their first album only came out last August.”

Her lips closed over her teeth, but she was still smiling. Then she said, “Hard to believe—feels like I’ve had those songs in me head for years.”

It was his turn to smile. How was it he could remember this moment so clearly?

That was when the moment ended, however. The man behind Rae cleared his throat in irritation. “Could you two hurry it up?”

The smile fell from Rae’s mouth; Finn handed her the bag with her new music and, as she turned, he said, “Hey, lemme know what you think of it, yeah?”

The corners of her mouth lifted a fraction and he would have sworn she nodded as she turned to leave.

*

He’d known something was missing; how could he have not realized?

He supposed she had always just been there, in the background of the shop, quietly . . . existing. He was intrigued by her, sure, but she seemed pretty private, and he wasn’t one to press anyone. He was more of a hang back and let them come to him sort of bloke. She seemed cool, and he liked to idly speculate about her, but that had been good enough.

Rob sighed. “It is bloody dead in here, isn’t it?”

Finn nodded, feeling a little disoriented. It was, but he was wrapped up in wondering.

“You can leave early, if you want. I’m here now, and there’s no reason for the both of us to be bored senseless.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, escape while you can. Go see your nan.”

“Thanks, Rob. Have a good one—hope business picks up.”

Rob smiled. “Usually does.”

Finn shrugged on his jacket and slung his bag across his chest, then waved to Rob as he headed out.

His walk to the hospital was fairly short, and he was so distracted by thoughts that it seemed like he arrived in less than a minute. 

He started to walk down the hall to the nurses’ station to check in, when he saw a flash of long dark hair down the corridor off to his right. His head turned instinctively, and there she was, like he’d conjured her with his jumbled thoughts. She was standing next to a younger girl, head bent down to listen to the girl whisper in her ear.

When the girl was done, Rae straightened up, flipping her hair over her shoulder as she did. The hallway was dim, but for the spot they were standing in, an open door let the light from the courtyard windows in, and the light played across the sweep of her hair.

He was staring at her, mouth open, when she spotted him. He watched as she went from noticing him as a presence, then as a person, to the second she recognized him. Her shoulders hunched up, and she looked down immediately, as if not looking at him could make him not see her.

She didn’t last long before glancing up to make sure. He held up a hand in greeting, and she nodded. Her little friend looked up at her, her expression bordering on incredulous, before shoving Rae in the small of her back to propel her towards him.

Rae shot the girl a dirty look before dragging her feet down the hall.

As she approached, he began to smile. He was glad to see her, see she was . . . well, she might not be okay, as she was in hospital, and he could see her tag despite her long sleeves. But she was here.

“Hiya!” he said, brightly, his usually mumble gone for once. “Funny running into you, we were just wondering about you at the shop.”

Her eyes flew to meet his. “What? Why?”

“Well, we just . . . hadn’t seen you in a while. Sort of got used to you coming in every week. Saturday mornings are pretty boring without you.”

The expression on her face was impressive, but still hard to read. “Really?”

“Well . . . yeah. Sometimes you were the only customer I’d see before noon.”

She scoffed under her breath, and half smiled to herself. Then, suddenly, asked, “What’re you doing here?”

“Oh, visiting me nan. She’s . . . they’re observing her. For, like, levels, or summat.”

Rae nodded, like she understood. “Sorry to hear it. I won’t keep you. Nice to . . . I mean, thanks, or . . . whatever.”

She turned to walk away, and Finn found himself protesting. Out loud. “You’re not keeping me. I’m early this week. It were so dead, Rob said I could leave before one. I—“  

Rae pivoted cautiously to look at him while he floundered.

It was then he remembered the extra copy of Melody Maker. “Oh, hey! Do you, I mean, is it alright if I . . .” He fumbled with the clasps on the front of his bag. “I just happen to have an extra of this week’s . . .” He held it out to her, hopeful. “If you want it, that is. It’s a special edition, that’s why I grabbed an extra.”

Her eyes widened, then narrowed in suspicion for a split second. “You sure? It’s not for someone else?”

“No!” Why had he practically shouted that? “No, sorry. I just . . . grabbed two instead of one. I can always get another; they sent us loads.”

She turned to fully face him, but snuck a glance over her shoulder at her little friend, who was grinning down the hall at them.

“Well, thanks, then. I’ve been starved for news of these two for weeks now.” She gestured to the brothers on the cover.

Finn grinned. “They’re still the same old arseholes, far as I know.”

“Arseholes who can make some bloody great music.” Rae smiled back, holding the magazine close to her chest, like it was something precious.

“It’s good to see you, Rae,” Finn said. “Hope we’ll see you at the shop soon.”

Her eyes softened at that, and she nodded faintly. “Yeah, hopefully.”

He wanted to ask her why she was there, what was going on, but he had no right, and from the little he knew her, he knew she wouldn’t want him to pry.

He waved again; this time in farewell.

When he got to his nan’s room, he still had a smile lingering on his lips.

“You’re happy about something,” his nan teased, before he even saw her.

He dipped his head, shaking it in denial, but said, “Well, yeah, happy to see you!”

She gave him a knowing look, but didn’t question him, just held her thin arms out for a hug.