#like I know some parents give their kids opposite gender names but like

[6mayhem]

any time someone refers to me by she while only knowing me as mikael a part of my brain kinda dies. are you stupid?

[charlietheepicwriter7]

the ship name for jazz x dick grayson is Night Birds, right?

Well, Night Birds, but Jazz was Red X

Every summer, Maddie and Jack would sign Jazz and Danny up for the cheesiest, mind-numbingly boring ghost hunting camp in the world, located in Jump City. There's maybe a dozen other kids there, but only two camp councilors, so it's super easy for Jazz to sneak out of there. Danny, of course, is super mad that she doesn't take him with her, but as the elder, the 12 to his 9, she refuses to risk him in the dangerous metafilled Jump City.

This ghost hunting camp is what sparks Jazz's bitter, teenage rebellion. SHE wanted to go to a psychology camp; she'd even picked one out in Florida, only a few miles away from a space program for Danny. But noooooo, Dad had found a dirty, ripped pamphlet for Spooky Ghost Camp and signed them both up, without. even. asking. At least Danny's well looked after, being the youngest kid at camp, but that gives Jazz free time.

and in her free time, she fixates on one of her first obsessions: the psychology of superheroes.

Not sure how Jazz would get the Red X suit; she'd have to learn that Robin was Red X, then steal it, and I'm not sure how'd she'd accomplish that. But she's a smart, independent child badass, I'm sure she figured it out.

Every year her parents sent her and Danny to that damn ghost camp. Every year, Jazz put on the Red X suit and tormented the Teen Titans. She couldn't dye her hair, or sneak out at night, but she had crime. Robin gets his first bisexual crisis because of her bantering/flirting with him.

Eventually Danny finds out she's Red X and is thrilled. His sister can beat up the Teen Titans, it's so cool. Maybe in the future, Jazz can steal the Pink X suit from the Teen Titans Go comics so Danny can join in the fun, have some fun gender shenanigans for them both to have alteregos that are the opposite gender.

The reason why I thought of thsi au is because I keep reading "Danny is a thief in Gotham" type stories (which are EXCELLENT) and I can't stop imagining this specific scene: Thief Danny is cornered by the batfam, about to be caught, when out of nowhere... *spanish guitar* Red X comes to save the kid. No one knows who this guy is except for Nightwing, who seems to automatically hate this guy who's... flirting with him? Is this a Cat Woman situation? This sounds like a Cat Woman situation.

Also, not sure which I like better:

For Jazz to fill out on her chest, but keep the male voice of Red X, leading to some gender confusion.

For Red X to become less of an addition to Jazz as it is part of her core personality. She is just as much Red X as she is Jazz, so when her chest comes in, she thinks "hmm, don't like that" and gets top surgery.

bc Jazz? Still totally into the Red X game even as an adult. She even found a similar ghost hunting camp in Bloodhaven after Robin went solo. She hadn't even graduated high school yet, but her favorite hobby is tormenting this one superhero. She bats at him like a cat with a spider.

[loversfms]

[ … ] ❀ you’re not from around here , are you? i figured because you totally just missed atlas shephard walking by. don’t tell me you don’t know who he is ? they kind of look like christopher briney and i could be wrong but i think that they might be twenty-five years old right now. they’ve been living in palmview for the last three years. and i don’t know if anyone has ever told them this before but they kind of remind me of will stronghold from sky high. if you stick around the town long enough you might catch them in action working at heights community center as an event coordinator. you see this town isn’t really that big of a place, some folks like to call them the robin of palmview! they took a liking to the name too after a while, go figure. oh crap, they must have heard me yapping. they’re coming this way. i got to warn you though, rumor has it they can pretty circumspect at times. i wouldn’t take it too seriously though, from the times i’ve spoken to them they seemed pretty allocentric to me. we see each other all the time since they live in that two bedroom apartment beside me over in seaglass heights. i better leave you to it. it was nice meeting you! 

STATS:

full name :       atlas orion shephard nickname(s) :       n / a birthplace :       naples, florida date of birth :       august 30, 1999 sibling(s) :      rhodes shephard (31), clementine shephard (26) relationship status :       single gender identity :       cis man ( he/him ) sexual orientation :       heterosexual faceclaim :       christopher briney

BACKGROUND:

most definitely an accident ( born a mere 17 months after his sister ), atlas could never quite find his place in his family.

it was difficult, being the last one to join an already... loud family. both in tone of voice and in personality. even as a toddler, he realized the best way to get attention ( either positive or negative ) from his parents was to do something to one of his louder siblings.

not that it ever really worked. his eldest brother soon took the lead of the three of them, but what did an eight year old know about raising kids?

one thing he learned early on was that the holidays meant ATTENTION. their parents were all about appearances, and what was better than a christmas party? every year, a young atlas would happily let his mother dress him and style his hair in preparation. he'd grip her hand and walk around with her as long as he could until she got distracted by someone she deemed more important.

that january gloom would hit him hard, and he'd feel his brother work extra hard to try and get him out of that funk.

truly the baby of the family, but not reaping any of the reward of it. if anything, it would leave him more confused. his brother and sister were two opposite ends of a spectrum-- the people pleaser and the stubbornly independent. he was getting a firsthand look at the pros and cons of both roles, but that left him wondering: WHAT ROLE WAS HE MEANT TO PLAY?

as a kid, he'd tested out different personalities. because of their closeness in age, he'd echo his sister's rebellious sentiments, except he cared about being punished more than she. he didn't like being in trouble, so being a people pleaser seemed like the way to go. after all, his brother seemed happy.

but, it was a hard act to follow. not that it was his brother's fault by any means, simply their birth order. their father seemed content with the oldest following in his footsteps that he didn't have any more praise to give. so again... where did this leave atlas?

his whole life, he's lived in their shadow. trying to be good, trying to be the people pleaser, but their already absent hands were full with the two they'd already had. no good deed was ever going to outdo his brother, and no misdeed was ever going to be more frustrating than his sister.

living in the shadow of his siblings just made him awkward. he mumbles, he second guesses himself, he frequently puts his foot in his mouth... if he couldn't even navigate his household, how was he going to navigate the world?

he's starting middle school just as his brother is beginning his final year of high school. he's hoping with his brother off to college, this is his chance to step up and get the approval and attention he desperately wanted.

he goes through school, he gets the grades, hears the classic "OH, YOU'RE RHODES SHEPHARD'S BROTHER?" from his brother's adoring fans ( past teachers ). he graduates-- not the top of his class, but in great standing.

all of that, and he'd still only received crumbs. because, with every accomplishment he was reaching, rhodes was reaching a better one. graduating college, pitching his business around, receiving funding... it was a game atlas was never meant to win.

and he could never be mad at his brother for it -- he understands they were both just trying to survive the best they could, and atlas wouldn't be anybody without the oldest shephard.

so, when it's time for college, he asks himself: what is the best form of revenge for a family who only cares about appearances? actually caring for those with less. he'd never understood his parents obsession with raising money to LOOK GOOD and not actually caring about those who needed the help.

he goes to school for business, just to buy himself time. worse comes to worse, he starts his own business to help others.

he's in his last year of school when his siblings move to palmview, and he promises he won't be far behind them.

he makes good on his promise, and moves a year later. during his tour of the town, he makes a point to stop by the community center and sees they need an event coordinator. it seems like the perfect gig, and although he's young, it doesn't seem like many were jumping at the chance for the job.

the idea of serving his community and planning free ( or, at the very least, CHEAP ) events just made his heart swell. this was no longer about revenge, but about his desire to leave his mark on his community.

he's three years into the job, and he's loved getting to meet the people in his town-- kids and adults alike. he doesn't often participate in his events, but he's always there to see how others are enjoying them ( and to make sure everything runs smoothly ).

PERSONALITY:

as stated above, he's quite awkward !!! either doesn't think before he speaks or thinks too hard before he speaks ... no in between

lowkey loves attention ( was obvs deprived of it ) but he'll never admit thattttttt

can be a bit of an emo boy when the topic of family is brought up

has a love / hate relationship with the winter months ... has fond memories of the holidays growing up, but also knows they were jus for show ... but also loves how busy the holiday season is !!!

has kind of settled into the "normal guy" role ... He's Just A Guy

very caring, though... has definitely lost a lot of money replacing jackets / hoodies he's just handing out to people ..... quite literally giving the jacket off his back .....

he's not a confident speaker in general ... not the thoughts he shares ... not the volume he speaks at ... is always mumbling your chara will have to tell him to SPEAK UP !!!

[talisidekick]

u should post more about being trans

Sure. And I have a recent life story so here it goes:

If you've spent any amount of time scrolling down my blog, you know that from my 800+ posts I've dropped quite a bit about myself. Namely that my parents emotionally and physically abused me and manipulated me to act a very specific way to adhere to a "look" that agreed with my birth mothers families expectations. They wanted a daughter and got my sister first try, and only had me to teach her to share. Their treatment of me my entire life and how they admitted to it and talked about me let me know I was just a show-piece for their perfect cult christian/catholic/mormon nuclear family vibe.

As such, I can say that I have never once experienced what parental love actually feels like. What it's like to be loved unconditionally by a parent who cares. That wasn't my life.

At least ... that was true up until yesterday.

If you're unaware of what's been happening up in Canada in the last week (from 18th September 2023 to 22nd September 2023), the transphobes up here held a "1 Million March for Children" protest about public schools being gender inclusive, teaching topics on gender identity and gender expression, and allowing kids to give preferred names and pronouns that teachers abide by without parental involvement. If you're unfamiliar with Canada's laws, Canada has ratified the "rights of the child" set forth by the United Nations and children under the age of 18 up here have civil rights including the right to privacy and safety. These protests attempt to say a parent has the right to know everything going on with their kid, and there is some degree of agreement on that, but a child also has the right to privacy and safety. This group is pushing for policy changes in public schools that would require the schools take actions that can be argued would infringe on the rights of the 2SLGBTQIA+ children regarding their privacy and safety. As such, this transphobic group met opposition that vastly outnumbered their protest numbers in the form of counter protests involving students, teachers, parents, allies, and 2SLGBTQIA+ adults who passed through a less-than-accepting school system in their time.

I unfortunately missed the organized protest in my city yesterday. I was entirely unaware myself that any of this was happening. I'm now working on being more active and informed in my community because now that this bullshit is firmly on my doorstep, I'm not about to let it gain another inch by being oblivious.

When I came out, I was 27. I waited until I was on hormones just because I needed to be 1000% certain I was finally doing this before letting anyone in my workspace know. I was met immediately with transphobia from my team lead/manager. I was honestly stuck with what to do because it wasn't like she (my manager) was being overtly terrible, it was just a bunch of small things that were actively impeding my ability to do my job, and even move departments. It became more apparent as time went on that she was actively preventing me from reaching my normal level of production by throwing harder and harder work my way with much higher expectations than ever before. I reached out to another co-worker who was in a higher position than I at the time and she went to bat for me. She caught a lot of it first hand, agreed I was being treated unfairly, and got me in contact with HR. With her help, I was able to move to the IT department and begin using my software and computer architecture degree for something. She remarked that my parents must be proud I was finally in my chosen field of study and ... I had to let her know that my parents weren't in my life, and that they treated me terribly, and don't approve of me. She took that statement and without missing a beat she said: "well, guess that makes me your mom now", which I just took as a "if they won't love you for who you are and what you achieve, I will" symbolic gesture. She's called me her kid in casual conversation, and I have called her mom, but she has biological children around my age so it felt symbolic. I'm a 29 year old adult now, I was 27 at the time this started and I didn't think much of it because I kind of just accepted I was a person who'll never have parents who care. Like, I'm not a kid anymore, what's the point of having parents? That was my mentality.

Until yesterday. The day of the counter protest I didn't know was happening. My adopted mom showed up in force. Why? Take a look:

Some context for the following messages: when an iPhone user hearts a message, and android receiver gets the "Loved "<First 50 characters of the message reacted to> ..." message.

[Start ID: Screenshots of a text message conversation between @talisidekick and her mother who adopted her at 27. Conversation spans over Sunday and Monday. First photo reads: (8:12 PM Sunday) Mom: ... me about it. It was due to something that happened Wednesday. This was all put together in a matter of days. I have a trans child so I wanted to be there (7:00 AM Monday) Talisidekick: Just confirming, is the "trans child" me or is one of your other kids trans? (7:00 AM Monday) Talisidekick: 'Cause I still call you mom. (7:18 AM Monday) Mom: No it's you (8:10 AM Monday) Talisidekick: I uh ... don't know why the fact you showed up for me made me smile so wide... (8:10 AM Monday) Mom: Loved "I uh ... don't know why the fact you showed up for..." (8:10 AM Monday) Mom: Because you know I've got your back my luv

Second photo reads:

(8:11 AM Monday) Talisidekick: ... I really wish you were my mom when I was growing up. You're honestly the best. (8:12 AM Monday) Mom: Loved "... I really wish you were my mom when I was growi..." (8:12 AM Monday) Mom: I wish I was too! You would have been accepted for who you are the entire time (8:13 AM Monday) Mom: But you got me now! (8:13 AM Monday) Talisidekick: I do, and that matters loads. (8:13 AM Monday) Mom: Loved "I do, and that matters loads."

/end ID]

I'm in tears because she wasn't being symbolic. She sees me as her kid. She saw a problem, recognized that I'd lived through worse because we've talked how many times I was almost killed by my peers at school or left to die by teacher staff because where I grew up was conservative and we didn't have anything in the books supporting queer children in schools, and showed up to be part of the solution.

For reference from those who don't know: someone made a cruel remark that I was gay via a slur when I was in grade 3 and that was enough to mark me for abuse, and almost kill me for the entirety of grade school. There was more than one active attempt by members of the student body to kill me, at least one in front of a teacher who did nothing because of that damn rumour. And trying to kill me wasn't the worst thing they did. They didn't care I was actually transgender, in fact, them not knowing that probably saved me from them trying harder. I couldn't bring any of this to my parents because they were worse.

No child deserves to live any fraction of what I went through. It was horrible, and these assholes want to force kids to feel just as isolated as I did growing up. I barely survived and almost took my own life several times because of all this.

Mom, if you happen to read this, thank you for showing me I matter. I wish I'd met you sooner.

Trans rights are human rights. Transgender kids deserve safety too because every damn child matters.

[the-cleaning-guy]

Howdy!

My name is Bruce and I'm Princeton-Plainsboro's janitor, nothing too special. I keep the hospital clean and occasionally bring in my dogs to help the patients.

I've been told to include some things about myself so here ya go:

Age- 25 (April 21, 1979)

Pronouns- He/Him

Sexuality- Fag

I have 4 dogs, a truck almost as old as me, I can play the guitar, harmonica, and drum on buckets. Feel free to ask me something or talk to me I'm all ears buddy!

Some information about him!

Bruce grew up in a trailer park with his parents and older brother. His dad worked a blue collar job and his mom was a bartender. His brother is 6 years older than him, he wasnt home often so theyre not very close. He still goes to see his parents, he'll stop by and have dinner with them every so often. All of them were really distant growing up (still are) but they care about eachother in their own ways.

He started using drugs around 14 and it got really bad from 16-20. He originally got the job at PPTH at 19 but a year later got sent to rehab because he almost OD-ed. Cuddy gave him the job back because he was a good worker and his recovery was going really well. Hes relapsed a few times and had to stay inpatient at PPTH.

He has a slight southern accent that comes out with certain words but its not super obvious. His right eye is a very light grey/blue, his left eye is an olive green. He has tattoos all over his body (including a tramp stamp he got at 16). He has a labret, a septum, a tongue, 10 ear (3 on top, 2 on bottom), and a belly button piercing. Him and his brother both have moles under their eye but on opposite sides.

He owns an old red pickup truck from the 80s. Lives in a small rundown apartment 40 minutes from PPTH. He has four dogs (two pit bulls, a german shepherd, and an australian shepard). One pit bull (named Bones but he calls him Baby) is a trained therapy dog who helps him with his addiction and anxiety. He plans on getting his german shepherd (Jack <- named after jack twist from brokeback mountain) trained to be a therapy dog too. He learned to play guitar, harmonica, and bucket drums as a young teen practically on the streets.

He gets along with most people really well since hes easy to talk to. He has resting bitchface but when he talks to people hes very polite and friendly which makes up for it. Kids tend to like him so he carries candy in his pockets for them. He has sort of a random country uncle feel to him? Hes very charismatic but you also wouldnt want to get in a fight with him. He looks like someone you'd see at a bar drinking beers and watching the game on tv. Though hes not really a fan of sports other than hockey or fighting. He seems older than he really is both physically and mentally. He'll bring in Bones for the patients to hang out with when hes allowed to. He enjoys talking about music, movies/shows, history, dogs, etc. People tend to talk to him about their drama so he knows everyones business, hes a good listener!

He likes men but he doesnt really talk about it often. He grew up getting called 'fag' by most of the people around him (even if they got along) so he usually just calls himself that. He isnt currently into anybody but he gets around. Hes a cis guy but doesnt care about gender much so its never really on his mind, he probably doesnt know what being trans is but he doesnt give a shit either way.

Hello!! im ghost (@ghostboyhood) the person behind this blog. Sorry the information above is so all over the place i have a rough time wording things 😭 I'll usually talk ooc in specified tags unless youre specifically asking ME something and not Bruce -> [#ooc- blahblahblah]

This is my House Md oc Bruce N. Valentine!! Feel free to ask him things and talk to him, he'd love to listen. Hes up for answering almost anything just be smart about what you ask <3

Go check out the other people hes surrounded by at @ppth-staff !!

[nowoyas]

thinking started feeling like burning - nishinoya yuu/reader

m.list - deleted smut scene - read on ao3

A/N: would you believe I wrote the majority of this BEFORE having a complete mental break and quitting my job without any sort of plan? this one is gonna have a smut spinoff oneshot sometime before the end of the month but no clear ETA yet due to school and job hunting. this boy needs more love and goddammit I may not be confident in my noya but I'M GONNA GIVE IT TO HIM

Summary: Nothing had changed since you left. Not him, a brilliant hurricane, and not you, a lost robot moving forward with no goals or dreams of your own. Opposites attract, after all.

Warnings: past minor character death, suggestive themes. reader is gender-neutral but for purposes of the deleted smut scene coming later is afab. reader basically has an anxiety disorder and it's implied they have not great parentage but no major detail is gone into.

Word count: ~8600

desolate

/dĕs′ə-lĭt, dĕz′-/

adjective

1. Devoid of inhabitants; deserted

2. Barren; lifeless

Yeah, maybe that was it. Desolate. In this hotel room—small, furnished but empty—you set aside your phone and its little dictionary definition of what’s wrong with you and the definition imprints itself on your brain all over again. Hardly the first time you’ve known the meaning of the word, but perhaps the first you’ve recognized it in your face.

In high school, you’d occupied your time with almost nothing but studying. There had been friends, one or two, and a blip towards the end in the form of a boyfriend, but you had potential and didn’t need to focus on things like going out to karaoke or making out with a guy when you had exams to study for.

You had so much potential.

You recall, dimly, having memorized the definition for desolate one day among all your vocabulary. More than that, reciting it for a hopeless light in your life who just didn’t get all this school stuff.

Your nose wrinkles at the memory. Best not get caught up in that spiral, yeah?

Against your better judgment, you flop onto the hotel room bed face-first and sigh. What the fuck are you even doing here? None of this was necessary. None of this was planned for.

There’s, of course, the simple textbook facts of the situation: you attended a work event, and halfway through, went to the bathroom and just stared at yourself in the mirror—much like the way you spent the past half an hour in a hotel bathroom—went home, got in your car, and drove to a hotel precariously close to your hometown. Sure, there’d been some kind of internal monologue going on, but you don’t remember any of it anymore. Nothing beyond what you’ve known for the past six years:

Something is fundamentally wrong with you.

“So, what, we get in our car and drive away and don’t show up to work and hope it all works out?”

The desolate room does not answer the desolate you.

~

Some species of sea turtle have been observed returning to the beach where they were born in order to nest, a phenomenon known as “natal homing”. There are many theories as to how they are able to return to their birthplace…

Like the sea turtle, you swim through endless water and find yourself, of all places, back in Miyagi, staring at a house you only vaguely remember and wondering if your instincts really led you here, or if you’re staring at a random stranger’s house you’ve never been to. Maybe there’s more than one family with his last name in the area.

It looks like all the others—a house in the countryside, standard and homely. You were here… what? Three times? Five?

Not even in the double digits—you know that much. You and Noya had spent more time together at school, or at your house. Your parents hadn’t wanted you to spend too much time alone with a guy at his house. In hindsight, you kind of get it. His grandfather hadn’t exactly been the type to make sure you two were being good kids, or whatever.

Still, you run your fingers over the nameplate, the kanji of Nishinoya’s last name, and try to figure out why this, of all places, is where you’ve drifted to.

“[name]?”

You startle, looking to the voice. Familiar, yet matured. Perhaps a bit lower. Perhaps carrying an emotion you don’t recognize. That, you know, must be him.

You note with a barely-stifled laugh that Noya has not changed his hair in the years since you’ve seen him. Still that stupid, adorable tuft of dyed blond hanging down in his face. Good.

Then, the feeling passes, and the panic sets in.

What the fuck are you doing at your ex-boyfriend’s house?

“Noya,” you breathe. You nod to him, stunned.

“Holy shit, that’s actually you!” He’s closed the distance in an instant, swept you off your feet in a hug that has you crying out in surprise. When he sets you down, you stumble, trying to catch your brain before it falls out your head. He studies you with bright, sharp eyes. “What are you doing here?”

Ah. “Uh, yeah. About that? I… I have no idea.”

He blinks slowly, and then he’s laughing. “That’s not like you at all! Come on, if you’ve got the time to sit down, I’m sure we’ve got something around here to feed you with.”

“Feed me…? Wait, I…”

But he’s already grabbed your wrist, pulled you across the forbidden threshold and right to the front door. Maybe you should have thought about literally anything before showing up at his house.

Too late for regrets, you guess. You’re in way too deep for him to let you slip away now.

~

In your mind, Nishinoya is steepling his hands together like a stern employer trying to figure out the best way to admonish a bad employee. The image doesn’t really suit him, and you do know that, but you still feel like cubicle fodder waiting to get chewed out.

In reality, he’s resting his chin in his hand, watching you carefully as you run your thumb over the glass of water he’s given you and try not to meet his eyes. (It had taken quite a bit of debating to keep him from actually feeding you. The water was a concession in a valiant fight.)

“So, you don’t know what you’re doing?”

A slow nod.

“You don’t know what you’re doing.” The statement, repeated, does little to hide how astounded he is at the concept.

You sigh. It is easy and so, so heavy as the air escapes you. Maybe you can drown your errant thoughts in water until you understand just what, exactly, you’re trying to do here. You try, but no matter how much you drink, you still don’t have an answer. “Pretty much, yeah. I just sort of ended up here.”

He has an easy smile on his lips, sharp eyes taking you in. “After what?”

“What do you mean, after what?”

“I mean, it’s not like you to just run off and end up anywhere. You’re, you know, thoughtful and stuff! I’m not sure I’ve ever heard of you just doing something without at least three plans ready to go in case something went wrong.”

“I mean, there was you,” you admit with a laugh.

Shit. That was the wrong thing to say, but here you are, panicking and thinking you’ll make things even more awkward than you already feel, and there he is, smiling like he’s looking at…

What?

It isn’t until he’s leaning in further like he’s about to say something dirty that you realize your real mistake in that response.

“You didn’t think before you did me, huh?”

Your cheeks flare, and you hurriedly down the rest of the glass of water while you try to think of a suitable redirect. “You know what I meant!”

“Sure do! You meant—“

“Oh, hush.”

He laughs, and you fall into silence, trying to commit the sound of his laugh to memory.

That’s what sucks about this, oddly enough: you sit at his dining room table, holding a now-empty cup, and it’s just as easy as it always was. He tells you what he’s been up to: how he doesn’t play volleyball anymore (tragic—you loved watching him play) and he’s been traveling a lot (infuriating—you love to travel) and he’s dated once or twice since you last spoke, but nothing really lasting.

(heartbreaking.)

(you love—)

(you loved him when you left.)

“So,” he says, ever enthusiastic to redirect the conversation onto you, “what have you been up to?”

“Nothing, I guess.”

“Oh, come on. You’ve always been amazing. I bet you’ve been doing something awesome with that brain of yours. You wanted to write, right? How’s that going?”

Hah. Amazing. He’s only saying that because you were useful when you tutored him. “No, really. Nothing. Sales, I guess. Convincing people to give up money for a product I don’t believe in for a company I hate. I guess I’m up for a promotion soon. Really though, I think I’ve probably just been dead for the last… what, six years?”

You’d picked the number because it was when you graduated high school. That had made sense to you—college, too, had felt like nothing. No parties, no partners, just studying, exams, and keeping your body moving forward until you had a neat little degree in a field you didn’t care about. But when you spare a glance away from the window, where your attention has been glued in hopes of avoiding letting the awkwardness and pain of this whole situation actually hit you, it’s the first time since he ran into you that Noya isn’t smiling at you.

Oh yeah. And right before you graduated, you’d broken up with him.

“You broke up with me, you know,” he says after a long moment. “Are you saying you’ve been a ghost this whole time?”

And ouch. He’s right, and you hate that. It hadn’t been his fault you’d left. It’d been your insecurities, your inability to handle the weight of your parents’ disapproval, your unwillingness to fight for something that seemed so correct, your stunning realization that Noya would always shine too brightly for you to be the one standing beside him. He always thought you were amazing, but you were nothing compared to his whirlwind personality, his passion, his sense of life.

Maybe this would have been easier if you’d ever told him that.

“I don’t know what I’m saying. Probably just that high school was the last time I felt like a real person, and that ever since, I’ve just been going through the motions and slowly losing my mind and trying not to panic about the fact that not only do I not have any direction in life, I don’t even know how to enjoy it if I did.” Your words come out calm and metered. You try not to betray the worst of it.

For a moment, talking to him, you’d been able to forget the person you’ve been since graduation. You were always moving forward a step at a time, but at some point, you stopped being a hiker on your predetermined life path and just let yourself be a robot. Mechanical step after mechanical step. Just keep moving forward and you’ll get to where you’re going. When you get to where you’re going, you’ll take another stupid, empty step towards where you’re going now. Some successful career, some boring partner that your parents like, kids, wake up, go to sleep, another day, another day, another day doing exactly what you’re expected to do. Just keep following that bright, clear line. That bright, clear line to nowhere at all.

And then you stumbled. And now you’re here, again. Dizzy, sitting at the same table with the same guy.

At some point, you’d trailed off, staring at the table and searching for scars of a life well-used on its surface. You hear the shuffle of him standing over you, and look up to find him reaching out a hand to you. “Alright. Come on.”

“Come… on?”

He leans forward a bit more to take your hand and pull you up. “I’m taking you out to dinner.”

“Huh? Wait, but where?”

“Don’t know yet!”

He drags you out, and you stumble after him in mind and body.

“It’s one o’clock!”

“So we’ll scout places that look good while we get lunch. You don’t have anything to do, right?”

“Well, no, but—“

“Then we’re going!”

He pulls you right past the entryway, nearly has you out the front door before you can protest. “I’m not wearing shoes, Noya! You’re not wearing shoes!”

He only laughs, only pauses, only gives you a moment. “Get them on, then.”

“And do you even have your wallet?”

He blinks and pats his pockets. “Guess not! You’ve got until I’m back with my wallet to get your shoes on and decide to let this happen!”

Decide… to let this happen?

He disappears around the corner, deeper into the house, and at last you sigh, sitting to put your shoes on properly. You doubt he’ll be quick finding his wallet—if he’s anything like you remember (and so far, he’s exactly like you remember) then he has absolutely no idea where he put it last. If you didn’t think he’d absolutely drag you out the door once it was found, you’d kick your shoes back off and help him look.

After getting your shoes on, setting his out in ideal kicking-feet-into-without-stopping position, and five minutes of listening to him rustle about the house, you glance at a table in the entryway and smile at the sight of a plain black wallet in the dish. You inspect it, just in case it’s not his—there’s been no sign of Noya’s grandfather around, but almost nothing’s changed, so he probably still lives here. Better to check.

You open it, just to see that it’s got his ID in there and not someone else’s, and nearly slam it closed again immediately.

Yeah, it’s his missing wallet. ID and everything. And, in the little photo slot, a six-year-old photo of him in his volleyball jersey, million-volt smile on his face as you push him away with your own brilliant smile. He’d just won a game, and you’d been busy trying to get him, gross and sweaty, to stop getting all that gross and sweaty on you even as you laughed the entire time. Tanaka took the picture, you think—there’s a bit of thumb in the bottom right corner.

Noya keeps a photo of the two of you in his wallet. After six years without talking.

A noise bangs from somewhere else in the house, and you close the wallet and force down the warmth welling in your chest and rushing to your face. “All good?” you call out.

“I can’t find my stupid wallet!” he shouts back a moment later. He sounds a bit frustrated. “This isn’t going to work if I spend the whole day trying to—“

“Nishinoya,” you cut him off, half sing-song, “you left it by the door.”

No reply except the thudding of feet as he runs right up to you and plucks it from your hand. “There it is! I found it!”

“Oh, really? You found it?”

“Yep! Are your shoes on? We gotta go now!”

“Go where? You’re in an awful rush. Do you have plans or something?”

He kicks his shoes on and grabs your wrist again. “Nope! You’re gonna love it!”

~

Really a type of plankton, jellyfish possess extremely limited swimming abilities, if any at all, and rely on the currents to control their horizontal movements through the sea.

It occurs to you, as you make the trek to the bus stop, that you didn’t have to say yes to this. Well, really, it’s not like you said yes so much as didn’t say otherwise, and Noya, ever the trail-blazer, pulled you along for the ride. What’s even the difference in what you’re doing now and what you’ve been doing these past six years?

You barely make the bus. Nishinoya pays the fare for both of you, before you can protest, and when there’s only one open seat, he takes it.

“You’re such a gentleman,” you snort.

He responds by tugging you down into his lap. “I am!”

You’re stronger than you were in high school. Really, you are. You don’t collapse into emotions like embarrassment. You don’t let the sensation of being flustered consume you. You do not.

…you bury your face in your hands. “What are we doing right now?”

Always laughing. Always lighthearted. “What do you mean? We’re taking the bus someplace we can find some restaurants.”

“You know exactly what I mean!”

The bus passes over a bump, and he wraps an arm around your waist to steady you. “You know, you’ve barely changed at all.”

“Neither have you,” you fire back. You meant it as an accusation, but the words come out tender. “You’re still a complete hurricane.”

He laughs, his own tenderness bleeding through. “And you’re still not letting yourself have anything you want.”

“When have I ever—“

“I think you know.” His other arm comes around your waist, holding you in a loose hug, chin resting against your arm.

You try not to stiffen at all the contact. This, too, is something you haven’t felt in ages—simple, casual touch. He had always been that way, resting a hand on your shoulder, your back, running fingers through the ends of your hair, like if he stopped touching you, you’d run away.

Maybe he was right. Maybe he is right.

“You didn’t answer me before. Are you still writing? I’ve been keeping an eye out for your name on the shelves, you know.”

You rest a hand on his arm, half considering pushing his arm off. The bus stops, but apparently not at a stop Noya is interested in dragging you off at—he steadies you as the bus jolts, and as a few passengers file off, you consider admitting the answer.

“Poetry these days, mostly. It’s not like I’d ever get published if I went for it, so I just scribble out a few half-assed lines and—“

“See, stop that. That’s half your problem right there, you know!”

“Another seat just opened up, you know,” you mumble. If you try to fight him on this, he’ll end up talking you into these grand ideas that you’ll never be able to accomplish, and by the end of the day he’ll probably have you in love with him all over again, even though you know it would never work, even though you know you’d never really be anything—as an employee, as a person, as his. “We don’t have to do this… couple-y thing.”

“I want to, though. It’s nice, isn’t it?”

…it is. It really is.

“…I still like to write, but I never have time anymore. It’s work, recovering from work, getting ready for work, waiting to come home from work so I can prep lunches and wash my clothes so I have something to eat and wear at work. I don’t have energy for anything except meetings, emails, and phone calls where no one means anything they say.”

“Damn. No wonder you seem so lost. Why don’t you quit?”

“And do what? It’s not like I have a dream job. I just want to get by and survive—“

“Why? You’re not happy. Don’t you want to do something more than survive?”

“I don’t even know what that would look like, Noya.”

He says everything so simply. Just quit. Just move on. Just move forward. He’s lucky, you think. He doesn’t know what it’s like to have parents planning out your entire life for you.

…okay, that was mean. Add that to the list of things that are wrong with you.

He sighs, shaking you gently in his hold. “It’s worse than I thought. Hey, [name], why’d you come here?”

“I told you already. I have no idea.”

“Alright. Adding it to the list. Today, you’re experiencing adventure for the first time in six years, and you’re gonna figure out what you were doing standing outside my house at noon on a Saturday. If I have my way, you’re also going to be quitting your job and starting a promising career as the greatest writer Japan’s ever seen, renowned the world over, but we can get to that some other time if you want!”

“Noya, I’m not—“ Your words die in your throat as his fingers slide between yours. You hadn’t realized your hand was sliding up his arm, but here he is, holding hands with you like it’s nothing.

God. How old are you, again?

~

Lunch ends up being crepes. Never mind the fact that crepes are not a meal, not even when Noya suggests buying two each—he proudly declares it lunch, and so lunch it must be. You’re lucky that he graciously allowed you to get a table, though he’d insisted on grabbing one outside even as the sky above has started to loom with rainclouds.

“And what’ll we do if it rains?” you retort drily as he sits across from you.

“We’ll figure it out,” he grins, sliding you a menu. “Dry off after we get rained on, not before.”

You snort. “How about we just try not to get rained on?”

“Then we would be sitting inside, and you wouldn’t get to look up at the clouds while we eat! You always liked the way the sky looked before it rained, right?”

A soft huff leaves you, a small smile unbidden. “You actually remember that? I think I said that to you, like, one time.”

He nods. “Only had to say it once! Besides, I caught you staring up at the sky in the rain more than once.”

“And yet, I had to repeat the same information for you so many times, only for you to still get it wrong on test day…”

“Hey! I was distracted!”

“You weren’t supposed to be,” you tease.

“What was I supposed to do? There was this gorgeous person sitting across from me telling me all these complicated things in a nice voice. I’m a simple man!”

Though your cheeks heat at the declaration, you can’t help but laugh. “Clearly.”

“Yeah. Clearly.” For just a moment, he’s soft, unbearably soft, and you fear looking at him. Quick, change the subject before you have to acknowledge whatever’s going on here!

“S-so!” Smooth! You’re doing great, sweetie! “Any idea what you’re going to get?”

He slaps a finger down on the menu without looking. “A… monte… monte…”

You sigh and peer over to look at the fanciful English he’s pointing to. “A Monte Cristo crepe?”

“Yeah!”

“Did you read the part where it’s got onions as a main ingredient? Don’t you hate onions?”

He wrinkles his nose, but stands firm. “I’m sure!”

You huff softly. “Alright. Far be it from me to stop you.”

“What about you? Make a pros and cons list for each menu item yet?” he teases.

“For your information, I don’t have to do that when ordering in restaurants. That’s for big decisions. But…” You sigh. “I haven’t eaten out in a while. It stresses me out.”

“Why?”

“So let’s say I pick something that looks good, and it sucks. I won’t eat it because it sucks, but then I feel like I’ve insulted the chef and wasted my time and money.”

He narrows his eyes at you. “If you don’t like it, you don’t like it. But at least you’ll know! When’s the last time you actually ate out like this?”

You bite your lip thoughtfully. When was it?

“I… think I did a celebration dinner with my parents when I graduated?”

“College?”

“No, high school. We didn’t celebrate when I graduated college.”

Once again, he’s staring at you in blank disbelief. “[name], that was six years ago.”

You flush. “Yeah, so?”

“That’s so sad. What have you been doing? I’m about to take you on a food tour just so you can catch up on all the restaurants you’ve been missing.”

You wrinkle your nose. “Please, no. I can’t eat that much.”

“Then we’ll spread it out!”

“Noya…”

The waiter drops in at exactly the wrong time. Flustered, you stumble your way into lemonade for you, apple cider for him, and then, as he’s confidently mispronouncing “Monte Cristo” to the waiter, you panic and end up ordering some curry crepe, a concept which intrigues and horrifies you.

“How’d you even find this place? Seems weird for there to be some half-French, half-English upscale crepe restaurant out in Miyagi.”

“What do you mean, how did I find it? We found it together. I’ve never eaten here.”

Right. He’s completely winging everything. “Amazing.”

“Right?”

Drinks come, and you sigh into a masterful lemonade and try to think of things to say to fill the space between you and your ex. (You have to try not to forget that bit—that this isn’t natural, that this can’t lead anywhere. For your sake and his.) “So, how’s your grandfather been?”

The easy smile on Noya’s lips drops. “Oh. He died late last year. Age caught up to him, I guess.”

Oh. Fuck. “Noya, I’m so…”

He shakes his head. “Don’t apologize. Crazy bastard had a hell of a time of it. He’d hate for me to sit around feeling bad about it, anyway.”

He wouldn’t want you to pity him. Doesn’t want you to pity him. You know that. But…

Did Noya ever talk about any other family members when you knew him? You know he lived in that house with his grandfather. No siblings. Never mentioned any cousins. You know he didn’t grow up around his parents, either…

Has he been alone this whole time?

You reach across the table. Place a hand on his. “Maybe I’ll visit more often.”

In silence, the two of you sit and wait for your crepes.

~

The crepes come out, and with them, new points of conversation that carry you both to finishing—all the way until Noya manages to argue you into letting him pay. He pulls you along, a bit slower than before, a bit easier. You can’t help but let him take your hand and bring you wherever the wind is leading him, half-pitying him and half from the complete lack of will to fight him all day.

“I told you you weren’t gonna like what you ended up ordering.”

“You liked it though, right?”

Predictably, he’d taken one bite of the crepe and instantly realized his mistake. Far too much onions for his tastes. Your curry crepe had been… well…

Let’s just say that you weren’t especially upset when Noya asked you to swap.

“It was really good, if you like onions.”

“I know what I like! Onions aren’t it!”

It’s easy like this, and the day really is nice. There’s rain on the breeze and in the clouds, a pleasant scent and a comforting gloom over the day. You tease and joke back and forth, hand in hand like it’s natural, and it is. It’s easy, being around him. It was easy back then, too. So easy it scares you.

You’re just waiting for the bottom to fall out.

You’re waiting for the bottom to fall out, and it does—with a shriek and loud laughter, rain chases the both of you underneath a tree and within sight of the nearest bus stop, soaking you both through to the bone.

“See?” Noya says, grinning as he pulls you a little closer underneath the tree. “Now we can worry about getting dry.”

“You’re unbelievable,” said with a smile. “What is all this meant to prove again?”

“Well, why’d you come here?”

“Here? You dragged me out here.”

“Yeah, but why’d you come back to Miyagi? I’m just saying, my doorstep is not the first place I expected you to turn up on when the inevitable nervous breakdown hit.”

You fall silent, shiver in the rain. It’s peaceful. You try to focus on watching for a bus, anything except the question you were asked.

“[name].”

You glance at him, yelp a little to find how close the two of you have gotten. This close, in this kind of situation, it’d be only natural for you to lean in, for you to brush your lips against his.

God, have you even kissed anyone since you burned everything down?

You’re not doing this. You’re not falling into a hurricane like him again. You won’t be able to come back if you do that. (Especially with such a fucking cliché.)

You turn away. “You already asked me that. I told you before, I don’t know.”

He hums thoughtfully. Drapes his jacket over both of your heads in an attempt to keep you both from looking any more rained out than you already do.

“I’m just saying, if you want my opinion, you’re going to have to do a lot more adventuring and a lot less sales for a company you hate if you want to remember what ‘happy’ is supposed to feel like.”

“Not sure I ever knew what that was like to begin with.”

“Never?”

“When I was a kid, maybe.”

He tilts his head. “Not even when we dated? Is that why you broke up with me?” He sounds genuinely curious. Would it feel better, you wonder, if he sounded hurt?

You wince. “I didn’t mean… I just…” A sigh. “It’s more like, I was too afraid to let myself be happy when I was with you.” In the close proximity, you find it easier to let your head rest against him a little. “Please don’t misunderstand. I like you. I probably would have been really happy with you if there weren’t something fundamentally wrong with me as a person.” Shit. You definitely misspoke there.

“I don’t really know how to teach you to relax a little, but it’s gotta be easier now that you’re out of your parents’ house. Maybe you need to go somewhere completely new. Get a fresh outlook.”

You arch a brow his way. At least he’s not commenting on your slip of the tongue. “What are you suggesting, Nishinoya?”

“I’m leaving for Italy. Six weeks. That’s enough time for you to plan your little heart out, right?”

“Italy.”

He nods, as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Italy.”

“And if I came back after six years to kill you or something?”

He barks a laugh, stark against the pouring rain. His eyes linger on you. The part of you that’s charitable to yourself thinks he might be mentally undressing the clothes sticking to your skin, though you know it’s more of a challenging look. “I’d like to see you try.”

~

One soaking wet bus ride back to Noya’s house doesn’t save you from this little adventure plan of his. Instead, you’re given a towel or two to dry off with and a change of clothes from his closet, as though it’s the most natural thing in the world. The way he acts, everything is.

So now here you are, wearing a shirt far too large for you that you’ve wrestled into looking somewhat nice with Nishinoya’s jeans. It slides off your shoulder a bit no matter how many times you fix it. You admit, you do manage to pull it off, but the whirlwind of the day still has your head spinning with just how wrong this situation is.

You’re supposed to be at work right now. You should be in office clothes, sitting at a desk in a too-cold cubicle that you never got around to decorating, perfect and polished while you tap out yet another perfectly-balanced email, three-quarters professional, one-quarter gentle familiarity to lure your clients into a false sense of security. Not standing in your ex’s bathroom, tying one of his t-shirts at the waist, adjusting your hair to look closer to “decent” than “drowned rat”. This, this day, this situation, was never supposed to happen.

Is this whole day going to be a stumble? How long will it be until you catch yourself and get back to moving forward? When you do, will you still have a place at your desk?

Do you even want one?

A knock at the bathroom door. “If you give me your clothes, I’ll get them started drying,” his voice filters through the door.

All of these actions have been so easy. Your wet clothes, picked up from where they hung shower-side. Easy to wring them out a bit more to keep from making the floor worse. Easy to open the door. Easy to hand them to him.

Nothing had ever been particularly hard before him, but falling in love with him had been just like this: easy.

Maybe the first easy thing you ever remember.

~

So you go along with it. Another bus ride, this one less crowded than before. This time with umbrella in hand—just one, because of course Noya didn’t even think about it on the way out the door—and a determination to figure out what the hell you’re doing here to begin with.

Everything is as everything was, you think. Shops lining the street, one familiar sight in particular, one of two things you had never had the strength to deny yourself back in school. At the sight of the bookshop, you tug Nishinoya to a stop. You’re a little surprised when he actually does stop.

“Sorry, can we head in? I used to love this place back in school.” You nod to the bookshop. He smiles and lets you lead the way.

“I think that’s the first time you’ve done something selfish today,” he comments as you lead him in.

You refuse to meet that one with a reply.

The shop is exactly as you remember. High stacks of books, books, books everywhere. The scent of old books and a slight spice in the air, scents blending and mixing until, for just a moment, you’re in high school again, marveling at rare finds coming through the used books section and finding some new world to escape into.

You sigh into the scent and disappear into the stacks. Noya is kind enough to humor you as you pick through, find a title or two to take up to the register. If you really do come back to visit from time to time, you’ll have to make sure to stop in here when you do. The old woman at the register hasn’t aged a day. She smiles when she sees you the same way you’re smiling as you approach her.

“Is that little [name]?” she asks, though you both know she already knows the answer. “Why, I haven’t seen you around here in ages! You’ve grown so well!”

“It’s wonderful to see you again, ma’am.”

“Just as polite as you always were. Find everything you were looking for?”

She’s got a poster on the counter by the register. You steal a glance, then meet her eyes with a smile. “Sure did! I’m glad to see you guys are still here.”

Her smile turns bitter. “I’m not sure how much longer, I’m afraid.”

Ah. There’s the heartbreak, panic, fear. “What?”

“It can’t be helped. It’s getting difficult to watch this place in my age, and my Taka’s not been doing so well lately. The kids are all off worrying about their own lives now…”

Your chest twists at the thought. “Can’t you find help?”

“We’ve been looking, but…”

It cannot possibly be this easy.

There’s no way.

“But…”

Noya slides a few bills over the counter while you’re busy fighting a war in your head.

“Oh, and who’s this? You’ve got to introduce your boyfriend, dear.”

“Oh, he’s not—“

“It’s nice to meet you, Granny! I’m Nishinoya.”

Already, they’re spiraling off into some side conversation, too fast for you to make the obvious correction as the old lady makes your—Noya’s—change. She tucks a little bookmark into the front of the stack, and you slide your new books into your bag in resignation. It becomes his space as easily as it was yours, and somehow, it doesn’t feel wrong.

After you’ve left, you consider clearing the air, bringing up… whatever that was.

…it’s not worth the argument.

Another few shops, another few stops. Another few steps forward, another few hours, and yet again you’re sitting across from him, fretting over being underdressed at the restaurant you’ve both happened across and settled on.

“Are you sure we’re dressed alright?” you mutter.

“They let us in the door, didn’t they?”

…yeah, you don’t know what you expected him to say.

“Besides, you look great,” he adds. His eyes dance over you, over the bare skin on your shoulder where you’ve finally given up on pulling the neck of his shirt back up. “I think you wear that better than I ever have.”

You ignore him in favor of another menu, another decision to make that feels earth-shattering. At least you’re aware you’re being ridiculous when it comes to ordering. Really, what’s going to change if you get the fun-looking drink you might not like over the safe one? How bad would it really be if you didn’t like your meal that much?

Drinking too much. Discovering a new allergy. Food poisoning—

“You’re overthinking again,” he teases.

“I’m always overthinking,” you grumble.

“Maybe you need to take the edge off.”

He’s right, and you know that in theory. But in the practice and the day-to-day, you stare at the drinks menu and feel your chest constrict with that itch of anxiety all over again.

“You’ve just got to jump in before you can talk yourself out of it. Come on, [name], let me distract you a little.”

…you don’t think he’s trying to flirt, but your face feels hot all the same. And, well, shit, Noya is a great distraction. He’s a bit less keyed-up than he was back then, but he’s still endlessly charming, endlessly easy to get wrapped up in if you lower your guard even a moment.

“…fine. So what’s this you were saying earlier about Italy?”

His eyes light up. You rest your chin in your palm, glance over the menu again as he tells you about his dreams of traveling the world, how he wants to seek new thrills and see all these new things. You can see every potential disaster of the situation—for one, he has a house back home that someone’s going to need to care for while he’s away, and he doesn’t seem to have thought of that. For another, he’s got an inheritance and no passive income to work with. His grandfather’s leftover money may be substantial enough for this to work in the short term, but longer-term…

Well, one day, he’s going to run headfirst into a hole he can’t climb out of himself.

The thought scares you. Who’s going to be there for him when that happens?

The waiter stops by. Before you can talk yourself out of it, you pick out something alcoholic and fruity and try not to preen under Noya’s delighted approval.

“I’ve never seen you drunk before. Looking forward to it,” he grins. This time, you’re sure he means it flirtatiously, given the wicked gleam in his eyes.

You reach across the table to bat at his arm. “Keep looking, then. I don’t plan on getting drunk tonight. Just buzzed enough to put up with you.”

“Well, that’s no fun. I wanted to know what you’re like when you finally let loose.”

“Excuse you, I can be plenty fun without getting drunk off my ass.”

“Then let’s see it.”

Drinks come out, food orders are placed. You get your margarita halfway down before the buzz starts really setting in, a pleasant warmth blossoming through you. At least now when Noya makes your face hot with some offhanded comment, you can blame it on something other than your own weak heart.

“You know, this is the most adventurous thing I’ve done since I dated you,” you admit once you’re both walking back to the bus stop. Fully sober you would never have this conversation. You recognize that, but there’s enough pleasant fuzz in your head that for once you do not give nearly enough of a fuck to stop yourself. The night is warm, maybe even romantic. “This whole… running around, stopping at random restaurants, getting drenched in the rain without an umbrella. All that.”

He’s got this soft look in his eyes as he regards you. “Really? I can’t say I’m surprised. You were always worrying about everything.”

You snort. “Someone had to.”

“We were kids, though. You probably could have left at least some of that worrying to your parents.”

“Believe it or not, they gave nearly all of that worry to me. On purpose, I think.” You sigh, lean against him just a touch. Your balance never was all that great sober. “I had to be perfect. You were that one little blip.”

“Hey, it felt perfect to me.”

“Did I make a mistake, do you think?”

He looks a little wounded at that. To your credit, he’s definitely misinterpreting. “Dating me?”

“No. Leaving you.”

He pauses, an awkward motion that has you both stumbling just a bit. He’d drank over dinner, too—you’re both buzzed, and the bubbly, floaty feeling ebbs out as you stare at each other. “Why do you say that?”

“I just… I thought about it a lot,” you mumble. “What it would have been like. If I’d just stayed, instead of letting the thought of my parents scare me into running away.”

He huffs a soft laugh and winds his arm around your shoulder. “I thought about it, too. Come on. You don’t need to make it back to the hotel alone; I’ve got a guest bedroom you can use tonight. That, and I’ve still got your clothes.”

Oh. Right.

You nod and let him walk you back to his home.

~

“Have you figured anything out yet?” he asks as he finds another oversized t-shirt and a pair of athletic shorts for you to sleep in. “Gotten even a little closer to figuring out how to do something you actually feel like doing?”

“I had fun,” you mumble in reply. “I know that much, at least.”

“Good. That was mostly the point.” He hands the clothes over to you. They’re more neatly folded than you would have given him credit for.

“Mostly?”

“Well,” he grins, “I also wanted to spend the day with you. Didn’t figure you’d ever agree if I didn’t drag you out before you could think about it too hard.”

“It was nice,” you admit. “Thank you. For all of it. I… I still don’t know what I’m going to do tomorrow, though.”

“Is it so bad listening to what you feel like doing every once in a while, though?”

“If I knew what I felt like doing, maybe.” You linger awkwardly in his doorway, bounce your shoulder rhythmically against the frame. “You’ve got your work cut out for you if you think one day is gonna get me that in tune with my brain.”

“That’s why I asked you to come to Italy with me.” He tilts his head, some question lingering unspoken. “Try it now, though. What does [name] feel like doing right now?”

He’s close to you. Too close. He’s close, and pretty, and magnetic, and—

“[name] feels like doing something stupid.”

His grin widens. “Nice to meet you. My name’s Nishinoya Yuu, and I’ve been told on more than one occasion that I am pretty damn stupid.”

—fuck it. You grab him by the collar of his shirt and kiss him before you can talk yourself out of it.

He reciprocates in kind, an eager hand coming to settle on your waist like it’s been waiting to rest there all night. You kiss him hot, heavy, open-mouthed; let your hands slide from gripping his collar to locking loosely behind his neck. When you’re both out of breath, he pulls back and leans in to whisper into your neck:

“Why did you come here, [name]?”

It’s hard to think with his breath on your neck, his hands on your body leaving your skin on fire where he touches, but you are great at thinking and finally off the deep end enough to admit it.

“I wanted to remember what it was like to feel alive,” you breathe out into his ear. His lips brush your throat, and you let out a breathy whine. “You’re the only person who ever—who ever seemed to know how to do that.”

“Let me show you how to let go, then.”

There’s no illusions about what he means. Not this time, not with his lips dancing down your neck to your exposed shoulder. Not with his hips pressing into yours, not with his fingertips toying with the edge of his shirt you’re wearing, and not with his fingertips brushing the bare skin at your waist.

You nod and hope you won’t regret it.

~

If there’s regret to be had, you expect you’ll see it in the light of morning. As it is, Noya returns from the bathroom and collapses right onto you, a lithe arm pulling you into his chest.

“I’m glad you came back,” he mumbles into your hair. You’re both tired—it’s late, and that might have been the best workout you’ve gotten in a while.

“Because you missed me, or because you got to fuck me?” you tease, sliding a hand over his.

“I missed you,” he replies without missing a beat. “Not too late to come travel the world with me. Quit your job and feel peace for once in your life.”

“Peace? With you around? Not likely. Besides, I’m renting a place in Tokyo. I can’t meet rent if I quit my job.”

He laughs and pulls you in a little closer. “Then just Italy, and you can go back to the way you felt before you turned up on my doorstep looking more lost than I’ve ever seen anyone in my life.”

You sigh. “When you’re traveling the world, who’s gonna take care of your house? It doesn’t seem like you’re selling it, are you?”

“Italy, come home, we’ll break in the place, and then I’ll come home to you between trips while you work on writing an international bestseller.”

Your heart flutters at the thought. Admittedly… it’d solve a lot of the problems you have with his little “plan”.

“And how do you suppose I pay for being alive aside from not having rent?”

“Ask that old lady at the bookshop if you can help at the store.”

“Why do you have an answer for everything?”

“It’s okay if things fall into place once in a while, you know.”

You sigh into him. There’s too many unknowns. How is he going to keep paying for traveling? What if the book never works out? If there’s no space for you at the bookshop? If—

He nuzzles into your neck. “I’m waiting on an answer, baby…”

“It’s late, Noya. I’ll think about it.”

“Do me a favor and think yourself into something for once, instead of out of it. I might die if you leave again.”

He presses one last kiss into the back of your neck before you both draft off, sore and exhausted.

There’s one thing, at least, you can be sure of, at least for tonight: you’re glad you came here.

~

Epilogue

“You’re looking much better,” your coworker nods to you as you settle back into your desk. “Get some much-needed rest?”

You nod your reply. “I did, thanks. Sorry for disappearing so suddenly. That cold was killer. Think I slept about fourteen hours straight.”

She snorts. “Man, no wonder you weren’t answering your phone. Well, I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

She wanders off to her own desk. You take a long sip of your drink, stretch a bit, and get right to your stupid little emails.

You tap away, pausing between sentences to consider, to answer the phone, to sip your drink. Occasionally, to tab over to some other draft when you worry a passing coworker might see exactly what you’re writing. At one or two points, over to your web browser, either to the wikiHow article you’re referencing, or to one of the many other tabs: your online banking, to confirm that this isn’t going to completely kill you (it won’t—all work and no play gives Jack a hefty savings account), or to any number of other wonderful things on the Internet that you suddenly feel comfortable accessing with the letter you’re drafting in the background.

It takes an hour to settle. The letter is drafted, all the right people are copied. You’ve triple checked everything, gotten all your things already slid into your bag or in a box to carry out with you. Made sure everything you need to leave behind is in clear view on your desk. You’ve even prepped an auto-response on your email client so people know who to bother, if not you. It’d take three, maybe four clicks to blow up your life.

You can’t do it.

You reach for your cell and dial.

Noya, despite all that worries you about him, has always been an early riser. He picks up on the second ring. “Hello?”

“Distract me,” you order in lieu of a greeting.

You hear laughter, a slight shuffle. “From what?”

“Doesn’t matter. Just distract me.”

“Ah, you’re doing something you don’t want to talk yourself out of. I’m proud of you!” You hear the smile in his voice, close your eyes to try to visualize it. “Am I allowed to ask what you’re up to? Where you are?”

“No and no. If I tell you, I’ll back out by the time I finish saying it.”

“I get it. Hey, do you still have that mark on your neck from when I—“

Your cheeks burn, fingers dancing along the bruise in question. It had been a bitch to cover with makeup this morning. You’re still not convinced you did so successfully, but no one’s commented on it yet, at least. “No thanks to a certain someone. I still can’t believe you did that.”

“Hey, you said you felt like doing something stupid. Who was I to deny you?”

“Cheeky bastard.” You smile, lean back in your chair a little bit. Click ‘send’. “Oh god. I did it.”

“Am I allowed to ask what you did now?”

“I might throw up. Not sure yet. Hey, how do you feel about renting bikes?”

“Bikes?”

“In Italy. I was looking up, like, bucket lists and stuff, and there’s this road, the Appian way? You can rent bikes and bike it. Apparently, it’s pretty old, and there’s this café we could eat at, and—“

You hear the thunk of something falling in the background of the call. “You’re coming!?”

“Well, I just emailed my resignation letter to my boss and HR, and I can see him panicking in his office from here, so you better have meant it. Here in a minute or two, he’s probably going to call me in, or come yell at me at my desk—“

“When’s your resignation effective? Did you give a notice?”

“Effective as soon as he stops panicking.”

A bark of laughter sounds in your ear. “So if he comes to yell at you, just leave. You already quit, anyway. What’s he gonna do?”

“Good point. Leaving now.” You stand, scoop up your bag. “I have two months left on my lease. If you didn’t mean that thing about me housesitting while you’re off seeing the world, speak now before I call my landlord and let him know I’m canceling that, too.”

“All yours, but your rent is walking around without pants whenever I’m home.”

You roll your eyes. Pause to wave at your boss on your way out the door. If he shouts after you, you don’t hear it. You’ve got a trip to Italy to plan.

Tags: @deeplightgarden @idonthaveanameideayet @dusstory

If you'd like to be tagged, shoot me a message or an ask, or ask here in the replies, tags, or reblogs and let me know what you'd like to be tagged in (all works, all works specific to a character, all smut works, etc.). If your name appears on this list but is not underlined and you didn't get a notification, please check to make sure that your blog is NOT set to not appear in search results in your blog settings! If you've got that set that way for a particular reason, consider subscribing to the fic on ao3 for an equivalent update notification, as I always crosspost simultaneously! After three unsuccessful tagging attempts, you will be removed from the list.

As always, thanks for reading! <3

[startheimpactfangirl]

twst star bio

Bio

Twisted After - Evangeline from princess and the frog

Accent: Star has an light greek accent (it used to be heavy but as they got better at English, it got light)

Name - Star Age - 19 Height - 5'0 RW Ethnicity - Greek Species - human Birthday - September 2 Gender & Pronouns - non-binary. They/them Sexuality - aroace (little attraction, does fall for Leona)

Year, Dorm and/or School - ramshackle, should be in third year due to age but is in first year because they can't skip grades Reason for dorm- their not from this world

Club - boardgame club

Best Subject - n/a

Personality

Personality Description -

Star is a kind individual with a troubled past. They are also what you'd say, be a workaholic, which affects their sleep schedule. Their kindness does negatively affect them, as they help others but never help themselves. Being a workaholic, they can be technically considered studious..... even tho it comes at their own expense. Their sorta nerdy, like idia but....toned down. Smart, as mentioned before, they are clever and especially good in academics.

can match someone's energy if they think it's needed and they feel like it, being able to talk back/insult back which tends to surprise everyone. Worrier, star tends to overthink and therefore panics at times that it's not needed. Socially awkward, they often don't know what to do in some social situations and will need to be guided sometimes. Star is insecure about their height. Their small compared to others and don't like it when people judge them based on that. They don't like being seen as weaker

Their generally a loving individual, treating those they can about with care and love. Caring, often makes sure that their friends are okay. Helping out if needed. They sew clothes for themself, being quite crafty and good at handling unfortunate situations. Star is persistent, not easily giving up when faced with a challenge.

Hobbies - sewing, drawing, biology, astronomy Likes - sweet things, art, science, anything creatively inclined Dislikes/Pet Peeves - they absolutely can't stand fake ppl. Ppl who pretend Fears - abandonment, bugs, death Talent - is an incredibly smart individual

Background

Homeland - earth (another world) Relations - has a romance arc with Leona which is bumpy at the start

Star has a great relationship with their two younger siblings in their world. Their siblings are named Sasha and Emma. Sasha is 8 and Emma is 14. Star took Sasha to her first day of school when they were little, Sasha clinged to star saying she didn't wanna go

For twst, star & grim have a very parent- child like relationship. If nrc were to have a parents day, grim would bring star

After Leona's overbolt, is when they start getting close with Leona

They parallel Leona cause they were both seen as second best but had opposite reactions to it. While Leona gave up, star started to work till they dropped

Tw: death, bullying Backstory - Time for obligatory tragic anime backstory

Stars bio parents died when they were young so they were taken to an orphanage. They were eventually adopted and taken to a new country they didn't know the language or customs of. They were bullied. Many asked them out as a joke.After they learned the language they were still bullied Cause they were established to be the weird kid. And Cause of that, they'd often be asked out as a joke. Que abandonment issues + trust issues

Twst star is twisted off Evangeline from princess in the frog to start this off. Star is dead in their original world. When they died they were reincarnated into twisted wonderland as a representation of a dead woman (Evangeline). It was the universes way of giving them a second chance at life. Star is unaware that the died. The only one who knows is Crowley Which is why he avoids trying to send them home They'll live life in twst world, not knowing the reason they couldn't go back is cause their dead. I feel like this could also explain why Crowley is so useless when it comes to getting them home. He knows they'll be dead if they go home. He knows all the hard work would be just for them to die LEONA IS SUSPICIOUS OF CROWLEY As much as he doesn't really want them to go back.... Crowley is so suspicious about sending them back He wonders what he knows Star is unaware of being dead. The only one who knows is Crowley, who will sometimes hint to it. Ace and deuce make jokes about them looking like a corpse not knowing they are one Star was lead to their death by Crowley, who's voice was calling out to them, causing them to be lead across the street and ran over (they were btw in their work clothes)

In their world, star was studying to become a nurse before being sucked into the twst world. A world where they couldn't get a job in cause they don't have any documents there. So their stuck with whatever Crowley gives em

Star wants to appease others, mostly their parents, sometimes even changing who they are to fit into the perfect child/friend/lover/sibling

Extra

Fun Facts | (Optional)

- sews

Parental figure towards grim

[eternalsams]

Get To Know Me

Thank you mama @mamachasesmayhem for the tag!

1- were you named after anyone?

My parents gave me my name just because they liked it. BUT I go by Sam because of Sam Winchester in Supernatural. He gives me so much gender envy it's crazy and I absolutely love his character so... Yeah, Sam.

2- when was the last time you cried?

Yesterday. Next question.

3- do you have kids?

Nope. And I don't intend to have some. But do dogs count?

4- what sprots do you play/have played?

I did some dancing, horse riding, 7 years of judo and some self defense. A bit of archery and some track and field.

5- do you use sarcasm?

I learned from the best <3

6- what's the first thing you notice about people?

I don't know exactly but I have a very good instinct about people. I know from the start if they're gonna be good for me or not.

7- what's your eye color?

Brown. Couldn't be brown-er.

8- scary movies or happy endings?

What kind of question is that even? This is completely irrelevant. Scary movies can have good endings, it's not opposite one to the other. Anyway... My hopelessly romantic ass loves some good endings...

9- any talents?

I can move my ears, bend my legs so my toes touch my armpit. I can write good angst?

10- where were you born?

France! South of France, exactly. Where the sun shines and the grasshoppers sing.

11- what are your hobbies?

Movies, tv shows, reading smutty fanfics.

12- do you have any pets?

Yes!! I have my baby 6 year old girl! She's a beagle and the love of my life since August 2023, I saved her from a kennel, poor baby girl.

13- how tall are you?

First of all, not that tall. I'm 5'2.

14- favorite subject in school?

English.

15- dream job?

Probably in the movie production. Director, writer, anything that could put my creativity at work.

Thank you again for the tag, but unfortunately I don't know enough people here to tag anyone back. And I'm a bit anxious that if I do tag blogs, they'll just ignore me so I'll spare me that awkward moment.

[sharoscylla]

Your turtle iteration is so cool! Can you tell me more about your iteration? Maybe some more stuff about April and Casey?

Have a lovely day by the way!

Thanks!

So, April is the first one to meet Casey and brings him to the turtles for help. I am working on a comic book script for this event to try to learn how to write comics, so hopefully I'll be able to show it on here soon!

April is 15 years old. She's super into horror media and video games, and has known the turtles for about a year. Raph met her first and she considers him her BEST friend, but the other turtles are all a very close second. The two of them play video games online a lot even if they don't see one another in person that day, and they're working on a horror game together. She is kind of the opposite of Raph and Mikey - they both dream of being normal kids and being able to be normal and live around other people, but she hopes and wishes her mom would somehow fall in love with their dad, pull a brady bunch to fuse their families together, and give her unlimited Turtle Little Brother Time in their world instead of having to return to the human world. Donnie is teaching her some Turtle First Aid (as well as what Human First Aid he knows) and the two of them watch How It's Made and do cute things together. Leo and Mikey are both teaching her martial arts - Leo because he thinks it would make their dad proud if he did a good job teaching her (despite Splinter currently not knowing she exists,) Mikey because he's wracked with anxiety and has terror-visions of her being defenseless against Bad Guys. (Raph does not feel like he has to teach her anything, they're just friends who have fun together and are making fun stuff together and he really feels like he needs a friend who doesn't... depend on him for anything, poor boy.)

Casey is 16 and he's had a very rough life so far. Meeting Casey (and by extension meeting April, who introduces herself to him this way) is like a thirty-second process from Splinter going "Oh no a human" to "Oh no, a human THAT I MUST ADOPT, POOR BOY." (He does ask if April needs to be adopted, which adds fuel to the "April wants to Parent Trap Splinter and her Mom" fire, but she politely declines FOR NOW) Casey is VERY into the Fallout games and pretty explicitly models his way of dressing/weapons of choice/general aesthetic after Fallout New Vegas, which the turtle boys are too young to have played but April knows what's up. All four of the turtles feel incredibly obligated to teach Casey how to fight and take care of himself, especially when they find out that he's on the run from the same apocalyptic death cult that mutated them* mutated their dad into a rat** and chased them from Florida to the sewers of New York***. Casey likes all of the turtles equally, but has a special attachment to April, Donnie, and Mikey for nebulous Genders Reasons that he is not equipped to deal with at this time.

*= a lie

**= sort of true and sort of not true

***= only in the vague-est sense possible

(Splinter has fallen into the trap of Making Shit Up when he's not sure of the answer or is ashamed of the truth and despite having good intentions he has caused bonkers problems for his boys, mentally)

(also: Leo's decision to train April started with Leo going "Hey, Dad, GIRLS can be ninjas too, right?" and Splinter, Trans But Awkward, Firmly Stating, "ANYONE can be a girl." which did not really answer the question but Leo decided it would work as permission until he did a grand reveal of Girl Ninja April)

(Splinter then spent a couple of months trying to State To The Room that any of his sons can be a girl if they want and they can just tell him if they're a girl, that's normal and fine, just let him know, he has girl names lined up if anybody's interested)

(Donnie is Not A Boy either but he's too caught up in "Thinks He Might Not Be Alive" to put too much thought into it right now. give him a few years)

[babyspacebatclone]

I work with preschoolers, who are legitimately too young to understand all of this.

But my center has a 100% policy against enforcing gendered play: Any kid can play, or not play, with any toy.

I live in the USA Midwest, and there are a few of the five year olds waiting for kindergarten who start repeating stuff I know they get from their parents, “Boys can’t wear dresses” and all that.

And while some of the other staff aren’t as proactive, I jump on that and squash it hard.

“We’re at daycare, [Adam] can wear whatever he wants! We’re all allowed to play dress up, and if Adam wants a pretty dress, he can have a turn for it after you’re done!”

I’ve insisted boys can be princesses “if they want to,” and when those same older kids start teasing the others with misgendering I always go “[Darla], are you a boy or a girl? Darla says she’s a girl, and we’re going to respect that. We are all friends at daycare, and I want you to use the names and words they like.”

I joke around with my name, answering with my middle or last name when the kids play “What’s your name?” and try to normalize I can be called many different things. When they like it, I’ll call them their friends’ names, and when they don’t it’s the same as before, “Ok, you want to be called [Bobby], your name is Bobby. I’m [middle name], but you can call me [first name] of you want to! I’m giving your permission right now!”

I never make jokes about the babies having a “boyfriend or girlfriend” when their most frequent playmate is the opposite gender, I just talk about “besties.”

It’s just such simple things, but my focus is always on “How do you want to be perceived?”

I want my kids to experience the power of their choices being respected, even if those choices are to conform to the roles and names assigned by their parents. Because right now, those are the roles they are comfortable with.

I want them to know they’re also allowed to change that, if for some reason they stop being comfortable.

The one year I did work in the schools, I saw a lot of similar experiences with the older kids, comfort and respect for the fact people want different things with their life.

And I want to set the framework for that now, whether it’s asking a preschooler if they want to be called their assigned name or emphasizing some people like to eat carrots and some don’t, and both are okay!

the thing about working in childcare these days is that I'm blown away by how open minded and genuinely curious these kids are. there are multiple openly queer kids, who are aware of the intricacy of the queer community and the multi-faceted nature of queer identity.

none of that was around 10 or 20 years ago. queerness wasn't even necessarily taboo during my childhood experiences, it just,,, wasn't taught or talked about, even from one child to another. I just didn't know it was a thing. but these little kids know about intersectionality!!!

and then when I was in high school, kids used 'gay' as an insult, but these kids at my job don't even blink differently when I told them the little queer flag pin on my messenger bag was the aroace flag. some of them ask what it means, because perhaps they've only heard of gay lesbian and trans. (and they've heard of gay lesbian and trans!!!!) I explain my flag and what it means, and it makes sense to them. that would have been alien for me as a ten year old.

some of these little lesbian girls and aroace and bisexual boys, the pan, poly, demigirl and nonbinary little ten year olds are the best friends that little me needed.

it's refreshing and heartwarming to see that the young ones of today are the kind of people this world needs.

PROTECT QUEER KIDS!!!! EMPOWER QUEER KIDS!!!!

[alwaysscreamingsiren]

Name

. eris .

Nickname

. risa . ris .

Gender

. agender .

Pronouns

. they/them . ae/aer .

Sexuality

Birthday

Age

Height

Voice Claim

Hobbies

Likes

Dislikes

Fears

Summary

Eris has become a very complex character since I've put aer in Sweet Tooth. A lot of details still need work.

(Unnecessarily) dramatic beginning: the twins' parents faked their deaths when they were born and were taken in by their aunt/uncle/nini(?). Their older cousin is named Violet (who I'm leaning towards using as my first playthrough MC).

As kids, Eris and Eden would be joined at the hip despite being complete opposites. Eden was the perpetual ray of sunshine in contrast to Eris' gloomy personality.

At some point (between 7-12 y/o?) Eden gets into an accident and is hospitalized for so long he has to be held back a grade; from then on Eris tends to mother hen Eden and acts as the more responsible twin. The aftermath of the accident, of course, causes issues: Eris subconsciously gives up on being a child and developing their sense of self, Eden has issues with learning and self-image.

And because I can, I gave them a childhood friend who is kinda insufferable as a kid and grows up to be a real asshole. Manages to date both twins by telling them their relationship should be a secret. When they find out, Eris has an explosive reaction; as the quiet and calm one, everyone is shocked at aer meltdown. Eden, however, is able to stay levelheaded and calms Eris down. He's a bit distant for a while after, but they both bounce back, closer than ever before.

Did Eris do something drastic? Maybe. If so, does Eden know? Probably. (AKA Murder or assault or just general aggression that *seems* out of character for ae but sets the stage for aer yandere tendencies.)

That aggression ties directly into my idea that Eris is highly possessive of Noble to the point ae would definitely stab Kieran if he didn't distance himself quick enough.

Upon discovering the existence of August and my rage over how he treats Kieran I do tinker with the idea of maneuvering the story a bit to poly Eris with Noble and Kieran. But then I'd have to deal with Eris having murderous intentions for both August and Rainn. It's bad enough ae'd have to control the impulse to beat Rainn to death (although I don't think aer strong enough to do so?)

I've mostly developed Eris into a character that probably won't have a "happy end" like growing old with the love of aer life. In this setting, ae might just get aerself executed.

^ She can see her future (it's Noble. He's her future, she's in love, lol)

[zebrasbazaar]

"This is Jeff"

Coming out letter to parent from a young non-binary teen (image below the cut):

"This is Jeff (hullo). He's been with me for about four years now, the poor sod. You see, with all this talk about 'gender this, gender that', every time I stopped to ponder it, it did my nut in. So, like many other headache-causing thoughts, I kinda left it be, right next to the dusty corner of my brain home to most philosophical puzzlings. PTO.

But at one point I decided to give Jeff a go. Before I even knew of other Jeffs around the world. And what can I say? Sometimes its a Jeff day, sometimes not. He's a nice chap 'n' all, but sometimes it simply is not a Jeff day or week. Anyway, Lord knows what this makes me but I thought this fella deserved some kudos. Jeff says hi.

~ Don't mind being a girl tho! ~ Still your daughter! I know money is tight and all this is undoubtedly a surprise (though it could be just as easily argued the opposite - I've always been... I dunno. A bit of a gender hazy kid?)

- Replacement - a 'Jeff II' perhaps, so to speak?

And you may marvel at my ingenuity. But though Jeff has been with me for a while (not previously named, however), he has seen many iterations. And though he has been ever so helpful, he never really did sign up for this and is looking fondly at the future: retiring back into a pair of socks.

Jeff says bye."

Shared with direct permission, hoping to be of some help and support to other young 'gender hazy' kids.

[loverofpaperwork]

Mike Johnson, new house speaker, old views

S, the Republican house decided to remove House Speaker Kevin McCarthy. For 22 days they bickered and held 12 elections? on who should fill the void Keven left. They settled, emphasive on settle here, on Louisana represenetive Mike Johnson. A self described devote family man who holds deeply held traditional christian beliefs. I have nothing wrong with that. A man of faith and conviction isn't inherently evil, but politicians seem to be. Faith and politics are a bad mix, historically. The founding fathers had deep relgious beliefs, and decided that the nation should not be a christian nation. A tradition that Johnson will have to uphold.

Anyway Mike hasn't done a lot in congress, the sole characteristic that made his run for speaker doable. He was apart of 12 bills or resolutions that went to the senate this year. So he did nothing this year.

I call these bills lame because they will not survive the senate, serve no purpose, and are generally offensive to the common person. I choose not to use their snappy titles because the titles often hide the true intent of the law.

Make no mistake, Mike has a lot more bills he has tried to get through, but these survived. I expect from his leadership to have trans children banned from schools and colleges, Biden to be legally declared a devil, aid removed from south America because of Socialism, and several agencies defunded (Social security, atf, irs, fbi, etc.) if the republicans ever did in fact pass a bill.

it is going to be like having a reddit thread lead the country, dumb, somehow well dressed and sometimes occasional nice. But very rude and have some really weird political takes about Cambodia.

HCRes3

A stupid complaint letter to Biden about crime that has no point or purpose.

HCRes9

A letter condemning socialism for some reason. I don't know why republicans have such a hate boner for it. they conflate north korean practices with castro and cambodia and venezula ( I mean they suck, but at least note that they don't have the same believes). It is basically a name and shame letter about politics from 40 years ago. The most confusing part is the section where they quote Madison and Jefferson despite both those founding fathers having hundrends of slaves in their lifetimes, an evil far worse than socialism (not that it is a contest, but quoting liberty from these guys is suspect at best).

I can't believe they said with a straight faith that the US was founded on the sanctity of the individual. Which is laughable for many many many reasons.

I love how they say congress denounces socialism in all its forms as apart of the resolution but doesn't acknowledge or promise anything.

No point or purpose

HJRes44

A house attempt to overrule an ATF ruling on stablizing braces, a tool to make pistols easier to use. The atf most likely banned them because of mass shootings?!?

kind of apart of their job, but perhaps I want them to spell it out a bit more. Like did the atf overstep its bounds, or are braces apart of the second amendment.

HR2

omnibus border bill that has every other government program.

DOA

waste of time

HR5

Some sort of school accountability bill that gives parents some imaginary oversight in curriculum. Like schools have to post stuff online and.... that's it. Like the school has to say if its over or under budget for some reason in a "report card"

redefines passing grades (kind of important)

they snuck in a thing preventing boys and girls playing sports on the opposite gender team. I mean who cares, they are kids. Let them play. Even if it is a trans thing. Like if little Sally wants to play football let her, or let Danny play field hockey. Or shock and horror if a student is transitioning or thinking about it, let them be wherever is appropriate during that difficult time. Sports is about community, we should foster good ones that are welcoming of others. Not asshats like congresspeople.

kind of a who cares law with some sleaze in it. in the name of parents rights, just not parents of kids that they don't like.

HR23

briefly amends apart of the inflation reduction act.

Might be a big change, but still who cares.

HR26

some sort of childbirth protection act in name only. Assumes children are aborted after birth, which is not a practice in any hospital I am aware of. I know that some use dubious sources at best to attempt to prove this point, but in general, once a baby is born it is born. Which oddly isn't just what the law is about. It is about extended anti abortion regs to cover friends of people who get an abortion who don't report it to the police. So a guilt by association Among other things.

Wikipedia lamely states that it says any infant that survives an abortion should be given healthcare, which, yeah why not. it was born. This law has been in the works since the 114th congress and has failed every time because it ignores law and medical facts.

Again most abortions occur within 12 weeks of pregnancy and can be done over the counter. It isn't something I particularly like because every pregnancy has the capacity to be born, but it isn't my choice or my place to pressure people into parenthood. Especially since I do not know their medical history and the risks that going to term brings. No one enters into a decision like this lightly, and I can with 99.999999 percent certainty say that any doctor willing to do an abortion in the last trimester will not do it in a way that is healthy for the mother or would allow the child to survive.

It ignores medical laws because not every children survives childbirth. If this law passed, a mother or doctor could be put in jail even though a child died to natural causes and the state regulator felt stinky enough that day to prosecute. The courts are hesitant to extend negligence laws to fetus's because miscarriages are a sad fact of life, and the last thing we need to do is lock people away for the saddest thing that can happen to an expecting parent. Their is no justice here.

This bill sucks eggs, attempts to gaslight people into thinking every pregnancy is safe and that doctors who do abortions do it at a dangerous point in a pregnancy. All for cheap political points.

a real lame bill he helped get pushed through.

HR277

a proposed law that attempts to make federal agencies more beholden to the house budget process and oversight.

my question is, who is going to fund the hiring of all the additional people needed to comply with this when it gets passed. Congress isn't earmarking any money for it.

also what is a concise general statement when talking about the entire defense budget? or social security. this is a wishlist.

it mandates rule reviews by agencies. Agency rules are what they use to bind people to regulations. Think of it like a law, but not codified by the senate. they are necessary for the function of the agency, but don't carry the same weight as, well, a law does. These reviews should be done by the house because we cannot trust self reviews, what agency is going to restrict their power.

a lame bill that attempts to shove off oversight power while expanding it in some other aspects.

HR288

A bill that attempts to remove the supreme court's ability to determine the law of the land. essentially congress is trying to say they have the final say of what a law is.

A curious idea because that is the vision of the founding fathers.

The supreme court gained the ability to review laws or decisions of the other branches of government in Marbury V. Madison. The outgoing president attempted to force a political appointment. The new president did not extend the appointment. At the time, the cabinet positions survived elections, so the court was asked to decide who should be in the position.

The court said, well in order to decide we get to have the power to decide. Which makes sense. At the time they just oversaw the court system in general and governed it. With this decision they gave themselves the power to affect the decisions of other branches of government after they occur, and a lawsuit is brought. Eventually the court would have gained this power.

The house is trying with this bill to make federal agencies exempt from this process.

A lame bill at best, kind of dubious.

HR497

Attempts to eliminate Covid-19 vaccine mandates on healthcare workers.

Madness.

HR734

adds a section to education laws that makes it prohibited for biological males to play biological female sports.

Also funds a study to show how single sex sports are superior to mixed sports.

Who cares, really.

A lame bill that, again, harms children and their communities. Sports teams are under capacity as it is.

HR996

renames a post office to the Dr Rudy Lombard post office.

honestly a good thing. I looked up the ceremony for his avenue. the New Orleans community enjoyed it.

HR1435

prevents the states from banning gas cars for some reason.

is that even a danger?

HR1640

prevents the banning of gas stoves

so who is going to pay for gas infrastructure, its upkeep, and whatnot.

Also if a state stops receiving funding from you, then what power do you have. They may even refuse taxes at that point.

I wouldn't take that fight if I didn't have too, party of state's rights.

US HR3564

redefines single family borrowing policies that fannie mae and freddie mac have.

Well could be important, but fannie mae and freddie mac haven't really been relevant since the housing collapse in 2008. You see they had to purchase a whole bunch of bad houses and mortgages because the house told them too. The banks then bought all sort of packages of these derivatives, transferring bad debt into the banks, and then when people stopped paying the mortgages, they had no operating capital.

might be loading another collapse.

[aikoiya]

Hey, friend, I've seen some of your posts about trans kids transitioning and just thought I'd give you a bit of context as to what that's actually like. This ask was made in good-faith so I'm asking that you please avoid harassing me or responding to it hatefully. This is going to be a bit of a long ask, but I think it may at the very least be an interesting read.

No trans kid (by which I mean, a transgender minor, under the age of 18) is given irreversible gender-change medical treatment. Most children aren't accepted by their parents as transgender, but those who do are just permitted to socially transition. This can look like going by a different name and/or pronouns, or presenting themselves differently. This is, of course, reversible - at any point, the kid can return to using their old name, pronouns, and presentation, with no harm done.

There are some gender-change medical treatments a kid can receive. It is important to know that no kid can receive gender-change treatment without parental consent. Additionally, a kid can only go on puberty blockers if a trained medical professional diagnoses the child with gender dysphoria. Gender dysphoria is the scientific term for when your gender doesn't match up with your sex. While it's not seen in every trans person, it is a prerequisite for children (and many adults) receiving gender-change treatments [source].

If a trans kid reaches the age of puberty, they can discuss being put on puberty blockers. Puberty blockers are hormonal treatments that prevent a kid from from going through puberty, and are utilized by non-trans kids with various health problems as well. They have no health risks outside of those that are inherent to any medication, and are reversible. If the child decides that they aren't trans, they can go off of the puberty blockers and undergo puberty as usual, albeit a little late.

The next step for a trans kid may be hormone replacement therapy (HRT). You may have seen this before referred to as "going on estrogen" or "going on E" for trans girls, or as "going on testosterone" or "going on T" for trans boys. Not all trans kids are going to want HRT, but some will. HRT is also, mostly, reversible. Going on HRT leads to gradual changes, and it takes months or years for the changes to go into effect. There are some changes that form later in the process that irreversible, but if a trans kid later decided in adulthood they weren't trans, these changes wouldn't stop them from detransitioning. And, to reiterate, the only way anyone under age 18 could get these hormones is with parental consent. The last step of the medical transition is gender-affirming surgeries, often referred to as "top surgery" and "bottom surgery". These are not reversible in the traditional sense - however, it is always possible to have the surgeries in the opposite direction. It is very, very rare, for anyone under the age of 18 to have any of these surgeries, and only if a medical professional deems it necessary. The very large majority of trans kids can't undergo any of these surgeries until age 18.

So, in summary, no kids are medically transitioning before age 18. Children are socially transitioning, and all that means is that they go by a different name, pronouns, and presentation.

The number of transgender people who detransition isn't solidly known, but the most commonly cited source is that only 1% of trans people ever end up detransitioning. Some sources I've seen have them up to 3%, but I haven't seen any greater than that in my research. Most people who detransition do so because of people's negative beliefs, not because they don't think they're actually trans [source].

[content warning: suicide]

Transgender kids one of the highest suicide rates out of any demographic - it is estimated that 82% of trans kids have considered suicide, and 40% have attempted to do so [source]. Suicidality is decreased is trans kids (and trans people in general) who are allowed to transition, even just socially. Letting kids transition is reversible and leads to massive increases in their quality of life. And besides - any of these changes are much more reversible than suicide.

Having the belief that trans kids shouldn't be allowed to transition actively harms children, regardless of whether they're trans or not. It's also harmful towards transgender adults. I'd ask that you please think about what I've said, do some research from unbiased sources, and stop perpetuating beliefs that can hurt people which aren't backed in fact.

My DMs and asks (including anon) are open if you have more questions. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this, and I wish you the best 😊

MORE SOURCES

Quick read about this subject that goes in a bit more detail than I did

A medical institute's FAQ on the matter

A scientific article about children detransitioning

A scientific study about the mental health effects of trans kids being permitted to transition

Another article about trans children

Another scientific article about trans kids

Thank you for your time!

I actually appreciate that you are giving this ask in good faith & I see that your intent isn't to harass, but to educate.

And I thank you for the positive intent, but I am going to have to disagree with you that no child gets transitioned under the age of 18. And I also disbelieve the idea that so few regret the change. And I can certainly believe that at least some detransition due to not being accepted, but the fact of the matter is that we are currently in a time where people are the most accepting of such things.

Have you ever listened to detransitioners or specifically sought out interviews where they regret it because they felt taken advantage of? Specifically ones that did it because it wasn't what they thought it'd be? I just... And the idea that those below 18 don't get assigned gender-affirming care is incorrect.

Blair White - Detransitioners "My Penis Is Gone Forever & I Regret It"

Chloe Cole At Congress

The Dark Truth About Famous Trans Kids

Grossly Negligent Transgender Treatment

Forcing Kids To Transition

Chloe got a double mastectomy as 15 & she detransitioned at 17, which means that, unfortunately yes, it does happen. People do transition kids below 18. And, she said that she was affirmed. Affirmation doesn't equate to happiness. Just as transitioning doesn't equate to happiness.

And, there's a lot of toxicity in Jazz Jennings' relationship with her mother.

And, there is documented evidence that kids even as young as 4 are being transitioned. Have you seen the movie Transhood? It portrays it as good, but just think about Avery & Phoenix. Especially Phoenix, who later went back to being a boy.

Just because you don't want it to be true, doesn't mean it isn't.

The fact of the matter is that there are so many predators out there who have no issues with taking advantage of these kids' confusion all to make money.

Because it makes money. Like, a lot of money.

You should also do research on John Money & the David Reimer case. It's sickening.

I know that the sources aren't verified, but the evidence is there.

[reggietheduck]

Twins in media are like never done right! As a twin myself (fraternal but still) it like kinda passes me off!

There's 3 category shows/books/media uselly goes for when it writes twins.

The Same person. Ex-George and Fred Weasley in Harry Potter (I was obsessed with hp as a kid but kinda hate it now) I never liked them because Twins have there own personailty! They are there own person and your parnets can uselly tell twins apart because there are your parnets! Just the way they made them so in sync was kinda relastic since yeah I can pick up on things with my twin better than most people but it's because we are each others bestfriend and know each other really well since we spent our entire childhood together. But not the way they showed it,it was just writing one charter giving them a twin and copy pasting there personaitly. Also twins qotb names starting with the same letter or being really simllar names! Ick,no thank you that sounds confusing.

Polar opposites. Ex- liv and Maddie. I get that it's trying to made it comedy or somthing but Twins are rarley polar opposite. Twins are uselly somewhat simllar since they grow up together and share simllar expiernces leading to simllar personailtys. (Nature v Nuture I guess) I mean they still can have diffrent personaitlys or distinctive things they like but they uselly have some things in common. Or with one pouplor twin one Loser twin makes no sense!(uselly dome with girl,boy twin which I can't comment on since me and my twin are the same gender) There twins,Even If they have diffrent friend groups they are going to talk to each other and not bully one anthor unless in the rare situation where one's a total asshole! (It happens family can mean nothing when some people are just assholes)

Evil Twin. This one is not used as often just when it's one Twins good v the evil twin. Its used as a plot point for things but I kinda hate it. I can't think of any examples. But if Twins are raised apart,there not going to be simllar or even have any connection (since they are not raised together! That is were you get your relationship form! Twins are not close because there Twins there close because they uselly have been raised together since brith Nature v Nuture again I guess) They might have some connection since family relation and stuff js proven in physcology but still. I just don't like the evil twin,good twin thing.

Soem good twin representation is like In Shadow and Bone with Toyla and Tamar. Where there close and somewhat simllar but have distinct personaitlys. (Him hugging her when he gets back form being sperated is relastic for any siblings but espicelly twins I can't imagine being separated form my twin)

Luke and Leia in star wars to be honest I have not seen these movies in so long but I digress. They both have there own personailtys,but are drawn together because of that being related physcology. When they do find out they make a relationship! Become close and act like how Twins do! (Hugging,not liking being seperated,knowing each other well)

Nora and Rachel in the wilds.

SPOLIERS

It kinda self contradicts since they are meant to be polar oppisties.(Rachel was the athlete,Nora was the nerd). But I think the wilds did it really well. In how Rachel and Nora were close but separated form being put agisent eachother. They both enveyied each other,which can happen! But they still were close! Nora was still there for Rachel no matter what and just wanted to help her! And Rachel loved Nora and cared about her but didt know how to show it. They had simllar traits,they were both stubborn and smart but had been separated by Nora thinking her parents cared more about Rachel's athletics and Rachel feeling stupid and not good enough because of how smart Nora and her parnets are. (I get that,My twin is super school oriented and got all a"s,I have a chronic illness and have never been quite has good at school. So i have felt bad about myslef because of it when I was younger) But I do think Nora are Rachel are good repersentation,When Nora died and how Rachel reacted was devastating.

Uhm I can't teally think of many others,Some minor ones might be Jane and Alec form Twilight there side charters but have there own small personailty differences.(I also had a twilight phase but my favorites were jane and Alec sine I wanted to be a littel emo child)

Ok this one is more of a joke but Madison and Mason from glee. While I did"dt like the incest twin jokes and Ryan Murphey is nortiorus for his bad representation of poc,ldbtq and other things.. I have to say he did a ok job on twins,They were ok. They were really close,hence the jokes. But they both didt have that big of personailtys but were still slightly diffrent traits. And the storyline about Madison getting jelous/protective about Mason dating jane might seem kinda weird but I think it was relastic. Has a extremely codependent twin myself,When your twin gets a partner or starts getting really close to someone who's not you it can feel a littel odd. Think about it,you've been best friend since you can rember it's always been the two of you. Of course your gonna get jealous of them getting a friend/partner who they seem closer to or spend more time with then you. (Not in a sexual way. That is not why she's jealous it's about it just being you two for so long and then just not. It's hard for friends but harder for twins since there uselly closer and been friends for longer. It's being scared of change in a relationship (the friendship between twins) that has been a constant close safe place for long and then it changes that's scary. ( Madison had her own reasons in glee but this is my take on it)

So here my take no one asked for,Twins are hard to understand for people who aren't one. The dynamic between then is diffrent with every pair of twins and dependent on there upbringing and personailty. For me its like a best friend except your always constantly around them and you know pretty much everything about them since you grew up together. Like Silblings but for me it's diffrent since we're the same age and I was a very antisocial kid so my twin was pretty much my olny friend. My best friend. (One of the reasons I have a hard time making friends,didn't live in a neighborhood growing up and by the time I started school my olny friend was my twin so I just never learned to talk to people outside of school since I didt need to since I had my twin).

But Every Twins Relationship with each other is diffrent. When you have girl boy twin it might be diffrent I would"dt know. Some twin aren't close,some are. Some problem follow the stereotypes above but I just wanted to talk about how unrealistic media can be when it comes to Twins.

[variousqueerthings]

@winterskyfirefly Please tell us more about the hackers one 😍

so I am currently more in vibes than plot (but I do so much of my fanfic writing as vibes anyway) but

cereal killer is 100% transfemme in my books, that is one of the most transfemme characters to have ever come out of a 90s movie about cool queer kids hacking the government -- i wanna give like a strong she/they/it on that, sometimes more she, sometimes more they, sometimes firmly it

it's basically movie-canon that she's been kicked out of her parents' home. i cannot remember if it's canon that she's living with lord nikon, but it is at least highly suggested i feel

while i do think most of these kids are queer (acid has some interesting gender + extreme bisexuality going on, crash/dade is 2 seconds away from bein a part-time femme-boy and is also bi in my head, joey is definitely gay) lord nikon i read as a pretty-much straight cis peri man, but one of those straight cis peri men who's good for the ecosystem. straight+ youknow. he's into femininity, leans heavily on the woman-side of that idea

anyway cereal killer got kicked out of their home for gender reasons in my hc and she's not out out at this point, but she's in that space of "if you ask, maybe i'll tell you, but also if you don't know that's not my problem," like I think she and acid have talked about this

also @le-red-queen brought up at one point that it's highly likely acid's mum is a terf or at least giving very radical feminist/germaine greer type (correct me if i'm misrepresenting you!), and i think acid has had many rows with her, especially since cereal killer started genderqueering that ensemble

i hc that acid and cereal killer go way back to when the latter was "just" a strange little jewish boy, and they now joke a lot about going in opposite directions (i think acid isn't not a girl, but she's genderqueer/fluid/multi/demi + sometimes she does boy. she does she/her boy. dade is very into it)

i haven't thought about cereal killer's offline name, need to have a think about that, but that may also be a part of the Story

SO THE STORY: cereal killer lives with lord nikon, they're figuring out some Gender and he's there for a lot of these trials and tribulations

and so the thing is he's a straight guy and it's always going to be a strange being, it was as a kid, they are now, but also they're like "he's very attractive and while i'm very much myself and chill about it, i don't want to have my sense of self feel lessened by some hot dude, even though he is supportive technically, and i live here (but it's just until i find a better sitch, it's not like he'll want me here full time!), i'm going to try to not make this so much his business!" which is hilarious because he's just as much of a computer nerd as the rest of them, he ain't that slick!

and lord nikon is having a whole internal "plsssssssssssssss make it my business i think you're cute and also i want to help out" and maybe also lowkey thinks they're already dating, because duh, they do couple-stuff like pirate movies to watch together and that time he stole a bunch of clothes for her and she wears them regularly (in new fucked-up constellations) and they build computers for fun on the weekend

idk and then they make out somewhere in that and have sex for the first time and cereal killer tries out a bunch of offline names

actually maybe that's the fic: Cereal Killer Tries Out Names You Could Put On A Job Application

this is the gist!

fics i wanna write:

transfemme!cereal killer/nikon (hackers)

the exorcist/iwtv crossover (smthinsmthin louis and tomas are veeery similar smthinsmthin what would they make of marcus who looks eerily similar to santiago?)

that buffy&faith&kendra thing. i still don't know what it is, but it's just in my brain (buffy the vampire slayer)

mira/saxa (spartacus)

evil/possessed/fucked-up!tardis/the doctor (doctor who)

margaret and hawkeye qpps with benefits (MASH)