#like I get for marketing and spoilers not including everything but there was no reason to cut Grace’s Flowers

[inquisitively-infinitesimal]

THE CHEERS FROM DÓNAL AND GRACE’S LAST PROMISES MAKING IT INTO THE CAST RECORDING OH IM EMOTIONAL

[felassan]

Snippets. 🐺💜 DA:TV spoilers under cut.

When the Community Council played the game, in the working version they played, it sounds like when the 'no dying' mode was turned on, when the player's health gets low the screen turns red (but you don't then die, of course) [source]

Caitie of Ghildirthalen shared that everyone that she talked to from the Community Council really liked the gameplay. "They were all into it, none of us had any complaints about how they were doing the gameplay, we all thought it was solid" [source]

The Lighthouse isn't literally an actual lighthouse by the sea. It's in the Crossroads. It's "like a bubble in the Crossroads, kind of like what Morrigan brings you to" in DA:I. "It's its own little bubble, it's not actually the Crossroads, it's like its own little bubble of reality." "It's not really in the Fade, but it kinda is, but it's kinda not". "It's so cool, I loved it so much [...] it's very comfy". It used to belong to Solas and "as you walk around there, you will see, like, stuff, that kinda shows what Solas has been up to for the past couple years" [source]

"They say in the [Game Informer cover] article that [The Lighthouse] like looks gaudy, and stuff, and like it does, in like an ancient elven way, but it's not like going to grandma's house which has that 2005 Tuscan kitchen feel." It sounds like there are a lot of frescos made by Solas in there. "It's kind of like, sad, too, 'cause it's a little bit like, ancient elven bachelor pad that he's been too busy to really keep up with it". "I think it's the coolest hub [in a DA game] by far" [source]

After the gameplay reveal video, Solas essentially gets trapped in the new prison he was trying to build for Ghil and Elgar'nan. "I don't think they explain it well in the [GI cover] article what happens, like, lore-wise, like how this connection between Solas and Rook one, works, and then two, like, how it's done. [...] From that [Community Council participation and talking to devs], I have a better understanding of this link, and I do think the explanation given [in-game] is good, and is satisfying to me. They're just not explaining it well in the article, I do think they give a better reason in the game"[source]

Caitie shared that she doesn't know why marketing for the game keeps saying/trying to say that Rook isn't a Chosen One as a talking point. "Maybe [Rook] wasn't chosen, [they] just happened to be there, but now there is a connection there, like [they] can't just leave, [they] have that strange Solas connection that nobody else has". "In this game Rook was just at the wrong place at the wrong time, or right place right time, depending on how you look at it, and it could have been anyone in that scene, that's kind've what they're trying to say" [source]

Photomode is something the devs expressed to Community Council that they want to include in the game [source]

User: "many of us would love to see cosplay kits again of the new companions. Just thought to throw that out into the ether" Trick: "Agreed! Definitely bring that up to official BioWare accounts. I think it's a great idea." [source]

John: "at this point my brain is about 70% DATV and 30% everything else" [source]

User: "I keep looking at that horn [Taash's blue one], thinking: 1. What -is- it made of?" Karin Weekes-West: "If only we knew!" [source] User: "If this turns out to be some high-value gemstone or crafting mat, I can't promise I'll be able to suppress certain... larcenous urges." Karin: "How very Lords of Fortune of you! :D <3 It really is SO PRETTY, isn’t it? Our art team is so good. :)" [source]

User: "I need to know if Rook gets their own room CAN WE DECORATE" Carly: ":^)" [source]

User: "anyway they [Neve and Harding] are both in this concept art. next to each other even. this has to mean they are both alive after the prologue. right? right???" Carly: ":^)" [source]

Kala: "the overall UI is very nice" [source]

Kala: "I remember the sliders [in CC] having pretty good range tbh, so probably pretty tall and pretty short" [source]

Kala: "I can't wait to learn who the VAs for Rook are! I know one and I know people will be really excited for this person to join the Dragon Age family 🤫" [source]

[nationmckinleyscorset]

In a way each season features a character in more depth than they have been in others

Spoilers for nearly every episode of wwdits so far under the cut

Let me explain

Season 1 introduced everyone but the plotline mostly followed Nadja's affair with the human Gregor, she was coordinating the orgy, she hates werewolves, she hates Laszlo's hat, and she turned Jenna then had an episode half dedicated to her teaching Jenna how to be a good vampire

Season 2 followed Laszlo as the main character, he got their familiars killed off, he discovered the family had a ghost problem, he gave Sean bran scramblies (it wasn't Nandor, Laszlo said "forget everything" and that's what fucked it up), Laszlo became Jackie Daytona for a full episode, Laszlo wrote songs with his wife because his original melodies were being plagiarised, and Laszlo fucked a witch and she returned to steal his semen (he was the first to be abducted)

Season 3 is less obvious in some episodes like The Siren, but I believe the focus is Nandor since he was trying to seduce someone by using the cloak of duplication (even though other characters are in this episode they are all played by him), he attempted to marry a werewolf and was rejected heavily, he and Nadja take over the vampiric council, he forgets to feed the sire then has to track it down to appease vampire kind, he rebukes his vampirism and joins the wellness centre, he is locked up in a cell until he decides to go into a super slumber then when he is woken up too early he basically confirms Colin's death, and he decides to go on an around the world adventure for a year and plans to make Guillermo a vampire on said trip

Season 4 is distinctively about The Guide and Nadja, for the purpose of this we're gonna overlook Nadja (sorry my girl). The Guide has been waiting for the vampires to return for a year because her life revolves around them, The Guide hates change so she receives counselling from Laszlo and we are given her very sexual backstory, we learn she has OCD and an overwhelming crush on Guillermo because of his lineage, we see her working alongside Nadja trying to get new acts for the nightclub and coordinating the wraiths, we see her longing to be included in the night market when she is gifted a box which turns out to be a bribe for the wraiths, we find out she falls in and out of love very quickly in The Wedding and also get the whole makeover sequence which is just <3, we see her at Girls Night in the pine barrens (this episode is less Guide-centric but you can't deny she's in this season a lot more than previous), I can't remember when but she has the "no close female friends" episode with Nadja and we can all empathise or at least sympathise with her character, she helps Nadja in her search for an act for the nightclub and is dedicated to her work right until the end

Season 5 is very much about Guillermo and his new found vampirism, in the mall we see him getting abilities such as better eyesight and the vampires invite him to dinner to try and cheer him up, the whole of dinner he is the main focus of conversation specifically how bad of a vampire he would be, in pride parade he helps plan the pride event and the viewer feels his horror towards the stereotyping throughout the episode, he also is the reason why Nandor goes to space in this episode, he goes to tell his family he is a vampire in local news but keeps being distracted by the vampires, although he doesn't directly interfere with their news problem he commentates on it then basically has to say goodbye to his van helsing familia, he is experimented on by Laszlo which leads to Nadja taking him to urgent care where she discovers he is a vampire and he gives his opinions on the group while doped up, in hybrid creatures he becomes responsible for animals that look like him and Laszlo's experiments continue, in the roast the baron finds out Guillermo burned his in the first place and the episode follows him being chased and almost killed numerous times, at Morrigan Manor he is the only one who The Guide doesn't want to torture and she accidentally reveals his vampire identity, in exit interview he is living with Derek and keeps being visited by the vampires, he eventually has to make up with Nandor and a whole ceremony takes place to turn him back into a human

Season 6 is focused on Colin (I was going to say season 4 but that wouldn't be fair to the guide, technically he has 2 seasons though). This is the least apparent because of the writing but his main themes are raising The Monster and trying to give him a less controlling childhood than he had, he picks out the monsters head using Uber and dances to Latin music with it, he joins Nandor's army while also working from the inside to overthrow Nandor and make him see sense, he sees Laszlo's father as a parental role completely bypassing that Laszlo is his father, he visits an old friend who turns out to want to fuck him and we learn he is less perverted than the other vampires, he gets the first vampire kiss in the whole program, he has many awkward moments in come out and play with various drinks and delaying the groups progress (he is the funniest character in this episode at moments and it really shows), in The Promotion he is named as one of The Monster's dads and The Monster basically takes his last name because he is just wonderful wonderful, I'd like to pretend the finale doesn't exist but in an alternate ending he had 2 babies with Nadja and in the other he had a really dramatic sequence with The Guide where I'm guessing the idea is he was behind everything and the only reason people can't see it is because he was a "boring" character

If I've missed any moments from these specific seasons please fill me in, I had to be careful with season 4 because I've read so much fanfiction I can't remember what's canon for the guide and what isn't (i think I managed to keep fanon away from this but if not... Oops. Live with it)

I'm aware characters cross over in each season (season 1 - Nadja, Laszlo, Jenna and Gregor but they all belong to Nadja in a way) (season 2 - Laszlo, Nadja and Colin in a way) (season 3 - Nandor, Guillermo and towards the end Colin) (season 4 - Nadja, The Guide, baby Colin, Laszlo but they all tie into the nightclub and also I HC Nadja The Guide and Laszlo as a polycule so it's whatever) (season 5 - Guillermo, Nadja - particularly her Antipaxon heritage - and The Guide - her tricky little schemes to make friends such as Morrigan Manor and the hex) (Season 6 - Colin, The Monster, Laszlo as a mad scientist but again this 3 come as a package deal)

This is simply something I noticed earlier today while rewatching season 3 and thinking "hey, Nandors in this a lot more than usual. What is happening?"

I'm also aware gizmo is the main character in every season but fuck it we ball

[marimitozpen]

how to find a family and yourself, too

Summary: He supposes he becomes a man somewhere along the way, begrudgingly accepting the role as if it was some new expectation he needed to rise to. He never questioned why it was that way, just that it was. It's just some truth of the world: the sea is blue, his hair is green, and men just have to pretend to know what being a man is.

Or, Zoro realizes he is not as cis as he thinks he is, and that the crew doesn’t care, and that he really loves his family.

★★★★★★★★★★

Hi! This fic was originally uploaded to ao3 exactly two years ago today, and in honor of its second birthday I wanted to crosspost to tumblr. This is the only fic I've ever uploaded, and I wrote it as a way to process the fact that I am agender. A lot of Zoro's thoughts and feelings are based on my own. I know there's not a market for agender Zoro, but I know that this fic helped people from my ao3 comments. The original fic is under a different name, and I went through and edited this one before crossposting, because I have improved over the past two years. Anyways, enjoy!

*slight spoilers up to and including fishman island*

★★★★★★★★★★

The first time it happens, Zoro is ten years old.

The day isn’t going well, anyways. Zoro has been training tirelessly at the Isshin Dojo for an entire year already, dedicating all he has into finally defeating Kuina. She is his last obstacle, and just that day, she had beaten him in their 2,000th match. 2,000 times, Zoro had taken up the bamboo swords, and 2,000 times Kuina had struck him down. She’s still so far away, this unreachable pillar that Zoro just can’t defeat, no matter how hard he tries. Zoro is at his wits end, trying to understand how he is ever going to get out of this dojo, how he is ever going to move forward.

It’s hopeless, really. How could Zoro ever hope to become the greatest when he can’t even defeat the girl in front of him?

So, he takes up his swords, real ones made of steel and sharp enough to slice anything, and challenges Kuina. He finds her outside, sitting by the side of the road, and starts yelling. “I plan to make this our last fight, I’m going to end this! Fight me with a real sword!”

It is exhilarating , the most exciting thing in Zoro’s short life up to this point. Bamboo swords and sparring do not compare to the thrill of putting your life on the line, the danger of getting hurt for real, the scent of steel and sparks in the air. Kuina is just as difficult to defeat as ever, always faster or stronger than him. Zoro’s arms ache from the weight of the swords, and Kuina teases him, and she still manages to toss him in the air like a ragdoll. Their 2,001st match; Zoro’s 2,001st loss. The weight of the defeat is crushing, and as much as Zoro doesn’t want to, he starts to tear up.

But then, for reasons Zoro just can not understand, Kuina tells him that he shouldn’t cry. She tells him that eventually, just because she is a girl, she will start to get weaker. That she won’t be taken seriously. That just because of her gender, she can never be the strongest .

It makes Zoro feel a lot of emotions, a lot of which he can’t really decipher right now. If Kuina is giving up on being the greatest for some stupid reason like being a girl, where does that leave Zoro? All of his training so far has been just to defeat her, and here she is, saying she was just going to lose someday. What about all of this strength I’ve worked for? Zoro thinks. What about the strength you worked for? Does it all just disappear, because you grew up and that makes you weaker?

There was something else, too, something a lot harder to put words to. Just as Kuina is accepting defeat because she was a girl, she’s basically telling Zoro that he’s destined to win because he was a man. He’s everything she wishes she was, born to be stronger and faster and naturally more talented, and Zoro just can’t stand it. It feels like an unbelievable weight on his shoulders, just another thing he has to work for and grow into. Who says I have to be a man like that? Why does it matter? None of this matters, just our training!

Zoro finally gives Kuina a piece of his mind, yelling about the things that were easier for him to understand. He tells her that when the day comes that he finally beats her, it will be because he worked for it and earned his own strength, not because of her gender. And that she can’t just give up on being the greatest, because he is going to surpass her. Kuina smiles at him, and under the moonlight, they make a promise. One of us will become the world’s greatest swordsman.

Zoro gets everything out that night, but he still goes to bed feeling like something was wrong. But how could he explain the sinking feeling in his stomach, the gut instinct that Kuina was wrong? He’s already gotten her to agree that her strength and training were more important than something like her gender, so why does he still feel so odd?

She just… told me I was a man. I never thought about it until now, but am I? What does that mean? Does that mean beating Kuina, becoming the strongest? Zoro’s thoughts run wild for a minute, and he lets them, before he thinks about how swordsmanship was mind as well as body. Whatever was happening, it didn’t matter, it was just a bump in the road. He just decides that Kuina was what made a man, that if gender matters so much, he’ll just earn his when he beats her. It’s simple enough, and Zoro finally drifts to sleep.

He never gets the chance to beat Kuina. The next day, his world comes crashing down. Kuina had died, slipped down the stairs and away. Forever out of Zoro’s reach.

It was really, really hard to accept for a long, long time. Zoro throws himself into his training, trying to ignore the way he could still see her out of the corners of his eyes, focused only on becoming stronger so that he could live up to their promise. Zoro never settles for anything less than the best, and now he has to carry Kuina’s dream, too.

Kuina’s father hands over her sword, and it feels heavy with expectation but perfectly balanced in Zoro’s small hands. Carrying along Kuina’s legacy was still difficult sometimes, but sometimes he feels like having someone there with him makes it easier. Zoro pushes forward, both striving to surpass Kuina and to bring her along with him.

Zoro doesn’t think about his weird feelings from that night again for a long time. It’s easy to ignore in the monotony of the dojo – he doesn’t stand out from the other kids in anything but strength. They all wear the same uniforms, sleep in piles on the floor, train and live and fight together. Zoro pushes himself a little beyond what was reasonable sometimes, but that’s all just training to become the strongest. Some days, the pressure he feels is so overwhelming that every “he” he hears stings, but that’s okay. He can ignore it.

He supposes he becomes a man somewhere along the way, begrudgingly accepting the role as if it was some new expectation he needed to rise to. He never questioned why it was that way, just that it was. It's just some truth of the world: the sea is blue, his hair is green, and men just have to pretend to know what being a man is. He doesn’t get to seriously question it again until nine years later, when Zoro finds himself as one member of a two-member pirate crew, sailing away from a Marine base and on to something new.

----------

Zoro wakes up to Luffy singing, loud and bright and right in Zoro’s ear. Zoro doesn’t regret joining up, because he can tell this kid is going to take him far, but he also really wants to sleep right now. He’s not made of rubber, he can’t just bounce back into place after being injured the way his new captain can. Zoro cracks one eye open and turns his head in Luffy’s direction, intent on giving the younger boy a piece of his mind.

Instead, his eyes fall on Luffy’s chest. Luffy’s vest is open, and there are two long, thin cuts on either side of his chest. They look old, already healed, but Zoro still panics.

“Luffy, your chest! Did you get hurt back at the Marine base? Why didn’t you tell anyone!” he shouts, sitting up as quickly as he can.

Luffy just cocks his head, looking terribly confused. Then, as if a lightbulb has gone off in his head, he smiles. “Oh, are you talking about my scars?”

Zoro nods, swallowing. Those scars look painful , and Zoro is kinda shocked that Luffy is being so nonchalant about all of this. He is pulled out of his thoughts by laughter.

“I got surgery a year ago! Pretty cool, right? I told Gramps I wouldn’t become a Marine unless I got it, so he paid for me to have surgery, then I became a pirate anyways. I sure showed him, huh?”

Zoro’s head is spinning. He doesn’t know who Gramps is or why he wanted Luffy to become a Marine, and he still doesn’t know why Luffy got this surgery. His confusion must be clear on his face, because Luffy starts explaining again.

“Are you confused on why I got the surgery?” he asks gently. Zoro nods.

“It’s cause I’m trans!” Luffy announces with a grin. “Do you know what that is?”

Zoro shakes his head at that. Is this something I should know? he thinks, but Luffy is quick to dispel his worry.

“Don’t worry, lots of people don’t know! I didn’t even know for a long time. Basically, it means I wasn’t born as a boy. My brain and my heart always said I was a boy, even though my body didn’t. So I had to change my body to match.”

Luffy’s explanation makes sense to Zoro, but he still feels confused, although for a different reason. Not born as a boy…  Zoro just didn’t know that was something that could happen. He is silent for a long time, and Luffy just starts humming beside him. Zoro thinks he might recognize the tune.

After a long time, Luffy finally speaks up again. “Zoro, you’re… okay with it, right?”

Zoro startles a bit, then processes Luffy’s question. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be okay with it?”

Luffy shrugs, one hand playing with the brim of his straw hat. “I dunno… it’s just that some people aren’t. You went all silent on me, I didn’t know what you were thinking.”

Zoro smiles at Luffy. It’s weird, because smiles used to be rare for Zoro, but it seems like his captain is able to draw them out of him so easily. “It’s okay, captain. I was just thinking about something else.”

Luffy laughs again. The sun is dipping lower on the horizon, washing their boat in shades of orange and purple, but Luffy’s face is as bright as the sun. “That’s good, cause I would’ve had to fight you if you weren’t okay with it.” He sways a little where he sits, coming to rest with his head on Zoro’s shoulder. “I don’t wanna fight my crew. That’s not what nakama’s for.”

Zoro just looks ahead, still deep in thought. He is vaguely aware of Luffy falling asleep on his shoulder, but for some reason, he doesn’t push the boy off. He just sits, thinking. Not born as a man… so how did you know, then? Did someone tell you that you were a man, just like Kuina told me?

What does all of this mean? I never just… felt like a man, I had to make myself feel like one. So am I a woman, then? Is that an option? Zoro’s racing mind halts for a second as he considers this train of thought. He snorts as he realizes how stupid it is. Okay, definitely not a woman. I guess this is what Luffy felt, then. Just not a woman.

It all starts to make a little more sense to Zoro. If all it takes to be a man is just not being a woman, then Zoro has that down pat. The rest will be easy. And yet, Zoro still feels strange. It feels like a door is opening up to him. Something is starting to change, and he can’t tell what yet.

----------

Zoro hates Sanji the moment he sets eyes on him. The cook is pretentious, starting a fight with a Marine over some soup, and Zoro can’t stand how preachy Sanji is. Then, he starts getting all flirty with Nami, which also pisses Zoro off. This Sanji guy is a real idiot, and if Zoro didn’t respect Luffy so much, he would be really worried about this guy joining the crew.

But there’s something else about Sanji that irks Zoro, something he can’t quite put his finger on. He could go on for days about how Sanji is loud, and rude, and stuck-up, and stupid; but it feels like Zoro is skirting around some other issue. Luffy and Zoro are just as loud and rude, and according to Nami they’re even dumber than Sanji. Most of these qualities don’t even bother Zoro, so why does Sanji just have this way of pushing all of Zoro’s buttons?

After a few weeks and a few run-ins with death (and a very valuable reality check for Zoro), Zoro begrudgingly accepts Sanji’s presence on the crew. He has to admit, the other man is damn good in a fight, both as an ally and as an opponent. He’s also a very, very good cook, but Zoro would never tell him that. He doesn’t need Sanji’s ego getting any bigger, the thing is already threatening to sink the Merry. 

But Sanji still pisses Zoro off to no end.

The two of them get along like a house on fire. They will argue about anything and everything, much to Luffy’s amusement and Nami and Usopp’s chagrin. Zoro will insult the cook’s stupid eyebrows and Sanji will insult Zoro’s unusual hair color, and they will exchange blows just as often as they have each other’s backs. It makes things slightly tense, but still interesting.

Sanji is everything Zoro hates about men, Zoro realizes one day. He is cocky and rude and he pushes himself onto women, he is over-the-top and annoying and oh so performative. Zoro can’t stand him, because he’s everything Zoro’s not and he’s everything Zoro doesn’t ever want to be and he’s so damn loud about it.

This realization does absolutely nothing to remedy Zoro and Sanji’s relationship. Zoro is not only mad at Sanji at this point, he’s just as mad at himself for realizing what Sanji is and what he’s doing and feeling threatened by it. Seriously, Zoro has no reason to be questioning himself right now, and yet Sanji just manages to get under his skin and make him actually think. Zoro doesn’t like thinking all that much, he much prefers actions.

It makes Zoro wonder why Sanji is like this and how exactly his masculinity or whatever has the power to make Zoro so mad. It has Zoro questioning his own masculinity, because he is so different from Sanji so how can he be sure he’s doing it right? It makes Zoro think about his place on the crew, because it used to be easy; there was Luffy, the captain; then Zoro, then Usopp and Nami. Now there’s Sanji, and he has the potential to be Zoro’s equal in terms of strength, and Zoro just feels so strange about all of this. 

Zoro deals with it the way he deals with all of his non-physical problems: he ignores it. If Zoro can’t slice through a problem, it simply can’t be solved, from his point of view. Not that he doesn’t try slicing through Sanji, but the cook is quick enough to put up a fight. And besides, Luffy would probably be pretty upset if Zoro hurt or killed his beloved cook. 

The two of them continue to fight, and Zoro might even be starting more fights on purpose now, because he’s just angry with himself and Sanji and what better way to take it out? Eventually Nami puts some sort of stop on it and gives them both a stern talking-to, but that’s only because Sanji can’t say no to her and she’s threatening to raise Zoro’s debt if he keeps starting unnecessary fights. This doesn’t end the fighting entirely, not by a long shot, but at least some semblance of peace returns to their small ship. If Sanji were gone , Zoro thinks, peace could return entirely. But unfortunately, Sanji is there to stay, and he is there to be a thorn in Zoro’s side for the entire rest of their journey.

----------

Zoro did not expect to be literally facing his past when he woke up this morning and departed the ship to explore Loguetown, but here he is. Staring into the face of a dead girl who is shouting words at him that he hasn’t heard in almost a decade, and Zoro just feels so many things he might not be able to handle it.

Tashigi has been popping up around Zoro all day; he saw her on the street and accidentally broke her glasses, she dragged him to the Marine base for chores, he escaped but met her again at the swords shop, she finally recognized him and chased him down. And here they are, standing in the rain, as she taunts him.

As if it weren’t bad enough that she’s forcing her stupid ideal of justice on him, insulting his bond with his sword because he’s a “criminal” or whatever, Tashigi starts repeating the words that Kuina shouted that day all those years ago. She seems insulted that Zoro isn’t taking her seriously, interprets it not as an offense to her own skill, but an attack on her gender. Kuina’s face and Kuina’s words… it’s all too much for Zoro.

“Is it because I’m a woman?” Tashigi screams. “You view me as weak, you won’t finish me off! Take me seriously! You don’t understand what it’s like, to wish you were born a boy!” She’s so loud and so pushy and Zoro finally just snaps. He whirls around and starts yelling back, even though he knows it’s childish.

“Everything about you pisses me off! You have the same face as my close friend who died years ago, and then you start shouting the same things as she does! Give me a break, you copycat!” Zoro breathes in, and Tashigi starts arguing back, but Zoro continues. “I’ll tell you what I told her; your gender has nothing to do with it, only your skill and mine. And if I didn’t take you seriously, take that as an offense to your skill, because I held back because you were weak! Don’t blame it on gender!”

Tashigi just stands there, staring at him. It’s clear she’s never been talked to like this; her jaw is hanging open and Zoro is pretty sure that there’s tears mixing in with the rain on her cheeks. He scowls at her, then turns back to go find his captain, leaving her in the dust.

Later, when Zoro is back on the ship, he starts to think a bit more about what Tashigi said. It brings back everything from the night of Kuina’s death; the confusion and the anger and the weird, unplaceable feeling that Zoro was sure he suppressed but is coming back to rear its ugly head. What is it about swordswomen and their ability to shake me up like this? Zoro thinks to himself, allowing himself to just wallow in his confusion for a few seconds. He then stands up, shakes himself off, and decides he must become stronger, so he can get past this stupid gender stuff.

Of course, he can’t fully relax yet, because Nami is approaching. “Thinking over there, Zoro? I don’t see you doing that often,” she teases. Zoro flips her off. 

“Awww, c’mon, don’t be like that. Tell me everything! I’m a great problem solver, you know.” She encourages as she sits down on the deck and pulls Zoro down next to her. And Zoro really doesn’t want to tell her anything, but… they’re cooped up on a ship and Nami is the only woman here so maybe she will at least have some perspective on this whole thing?

“I just got in a really weird fight today, with one of the Marines. After I defeated her she started yelling about how I wasn’t taking her seriously just because she’s a woman. It reminded me of my childhood friend, she used to say the same thing. It’s strange, because I don’t think about who my opponent is when I fight them, only their skill.” Zoro explains. His voice sounds weak and it hits Zoro that this is really stupid, but he’s already said it so there’s not much he can do now.

Nami hums as she thinks. “Well, she’s probably feeling insecure a little bit. All women are used to being underestimated. Some of us, like me,” Nami accentuates her statement by pointing to herself, “like to use it to our advantage. I’ve got Sanji-kun wrapped around my finger, you know? Just because I’m a girl.” She pauses, then looks at Zoro before starting her next point.

“Well, I guess some women don’t view it the same way. They want to be seen as equals, instead of having to constantly prove themselves by exceeding expectations. I guess that Marine and your friend are both like that, they see that you’re not taking them seriously and they think it’s because you’re underestimating them. But if it’s just because of their skill, like you say, then there’s not much you can do other than ignore them.” Nami pats his shoulder. “Got that, stupid?”

“Yeah,” Zoro grumbles, not rising to the bait for once. “Although Kuina, my friend… I never underestimated her. She was always stronger than me. I never once beat her in a fight.”

If Nami notices the use of past tense, she doesn’t comment on it. “I’m sure I would’ve liked her, if she could take you down a peg,” Nami laughs. She leaves a little while later, and Zoro is kinda glad he had this talk. He’s still a bit swamped by the weird feelings, but at least the other things are starting to make a little more sense.

----------

“Hey Robin, whatcha readin?”

The response from the crew is instantaneous. Everyone who is on deck, Zoro included, falls silent and stares. Zoro himself sits up from where he was sprawled across the deck to watch as his captain leans over Robin’s shoulder to inspect the book she has laying open on the table.

He thinks he heard about this happening once before, of Luffy showing an interest in Robin’s books, and that the crew had been just as shocked then. It’s just that books and Luffy… they don’t really go together. Luffy has been listening in to some of Robin’s story times and she is more than happy to read out loud for some of her younger crewmates, but it’s rare that Luffy is the one to show interest.

“Oh, it’s a book about different identities. It’s rather interesting, do you want me to read it to you?” Robin hardly seems phased by Luffy’s sudden interest, taking it in stride. She’s always happy to indulge her captain on his more tame shenanigans.

Luffy shakes his head. “Nah, the pictures just caught my attention.” At this, most of the crew lets out a collective sigh. Nami goes back to watering her flowers, and Usopp and Chopper start making noise on the upper deck again. Sanji prattles away in the kitchen and Franky stays below deck, neither of them having heard the initial question. Zoro wants to keep watching, for some reason. Luffy hooks his arm over Robin’s shoulder, fingers running across the page. “Like this one! The colors are pretty. What’s it mean?”

Robin smiles, and it is unlike the smiles Zoro has seen from her up to this point. “That flag represents transgender people, Captain. Do you know what that is?”

Now it is Luffy’s turn to smile, the toothy grin taking up his whole face. “Like me!” he exclaims cheerfully.

Robin looks shocked for a second before she reigns her expression in. Zoro thinks this is the first time he’s seen her smile with teeth. “I’m like that too, Captain,” she replies. “How funny that we should meet on this broad sea.”

Luffy is positively beaming at this point. He finally pulls up a chair and sits across from Robin. He is gesturing excitedly as he speaks, telling Robin it is so cool that they met and that he’s never met another person like himself before. Zoro smiles a little, in spite of himself. It’s nice to hear his captain so happy, and seeing Robin smiling fondly isn’t so bad either. He is about to drift back to sleep when Luffy is suddenly calling to him.

“Zoro, hey Zoro! You should come look too! This book is so cool, they have a flag for everything!” Zoro cracks one eye open to glare at his captain. Robin is giggling from behind her hand.

Zoro sighs. Yes, it’s nice that his captain is taking interest in a somewhat quiet activity, and that Robin is opening up a little too. But to be honest, Zoro has no interest in the book himself. He figures that nothing in there is going to apply to him, since he already realized he’s not like his captain or Robin.

“I think that the swordsman wants to sleep, Captain.” Oh, nice save Robin! Zoro makes a mental note to thank her later. Luffy protests a little, grumbling something about how all Zoro does is sleep, but he’s drawn back into the book when Robin flips the page.

“Robin, look, this one looks like Zoro,” Luffy comments. Robin agrees, telling him that those colors do look a lot like Zoro’s hair color and outfit. Zoro can still feel Luffy’s gaze on him, but he ignores it. He closes his eyes and lets himself drift off to sleep for real, this time.

----------

Zoro wakes up in a bed in a room he does not recognize. Not that he’s never done that before, but it seems different this time. Zoro shouldn’t be here.

The last thing he remembers is running for his life. Zoro had been gravely injured, and there was an admiral and all these robots, and they really stood no chance…

The weird, spongy, not-earth of the Sabaody Archipelago is making it hard to run. Zoro’s legs ache and he’s sure he’s reopened several of his wounds. It took a serious joint effort just to take down that one Kuma robot, and Zoro isn’t honestly sure he has it in him to take on any more. He hates feeling so weak, but of course he couldn’t have changed the outcome of Thriller Bark. Zoro would gladly do it again to save his captain.

Still, this is a very bad situation, and no time for reminiscing. Zoro has crewmates to protect, and he has robots to escape. Of course, it is then that the real Kuma shows up. He quips about Zoro still being alive, and Zoro gives him the best answer he can in the moment. Of course, he does owe Kuma in a way, but the man still poses a huge threat.

Zoro’s lungs ache and his legs are about to give out. His arms are weak, he can’t do anything to save himself. He is aware of people yelling, trying to save him, but it’s too late. Kuma raises one huge, ungloved paw and swings it. Zoro’s world fades away immediately.

That’s the last thing Zoro remembers, so how the hell did he get here? He can feel bandages covering his skin, but they are not wrapped with the professionalism and care that Chopper’s usually are, which tells him that he’s no longer with his crewmates. He wonders what happened to them and starts panicking, bolting out of bed to start taking in his surroundings.

Then, he sees her out of the corner of his eye. The weird ghost girl from Thriller Bark, what was her name again? Perfume, or something?

“It’s Perona, you dumbass!” she shouts. Oh, so Zoro said that out loud then.

She explains to him that he came down in a bubble and how it was part of Kuma’s power. She doesn’t know where they are, but she bandaged him up the best she could, and he really needs to wait and rest before he does anything stupid. 

Zoro doesn’t listen, of course. He’s not so weak and helpless that he can just lay in bed when his crew probably needs him, when his captain probably needs him. He just keeps going out and getting into fights with the weird monkeys that inhabit the island, pissing Perona off and injuring himself further.

A few days later, Mihawk shows up to tell Zoro about the war, and this is probably the worst Zoro has ever felt. To think, while he was out here unable to defeat some stupid baboons, his captain was fighting in a war and losing his only brother in such a horrific way. Zoro is useless, useless, useless, and he’s so weak it hurts.

Then he gets the orders: stay where you are. You have two years. Get stronger. It’s painful, but it’s simple and it’s what needs to be done. It makes Zoro’s heart ache that he can’t be there to comfort his captain, but he quickly decides that he will spend these two years getting stronger so that he won’t miss this kind of situation again. Better yet, there won’t be one at all. After some begging, Mihawk agrees to take him in, and Zoro throws himself into his training. 

It is slightly reminiscent of his time at the dojo. At the time, Zoro’s need to become the strongest was so that he could carry on Kuina’s will and achieve their dream. But now, Zoro has people, a family , he wants to protect. The training is grueling and bloody and mind-numbing, and Zoro wouldn’t have it any other way. He loses sight of everything other than his goal and his crew, the two things he is doing everything for. Two years, and Zoro will be strong enough so that nothing has to happen to hurt the Straw Hats again.

----------

Zoro has to admit, being back with the crew after two years of separation is really, really nice. Two years apart was far too long. He had missed everyone, even that stupid cook, and he missed being on the ocean. He understands why they spent two years apart, and everyone is much stronger for it, but he is glad that those years are behind them.

Just making it off of Sabaody was an ordeal. Luffy manages to attract trouble everywhere he goes, though, so the crew is used to this. Zoro almost missed the nonstop action and the daily near-death experiences, but action is not the only part of a pirate’s life. Zoro loves just being on the Sunny, surrounded by his crew – his family – exchanging stories about their training over the past two years.

Zoro learns where everyone spent their two years: Luffy trained with Rayleigh, Chopper mastered all of his forms and learned a lot about medicine, Brook went on tour but still managed to strengthen his skills. Robin mentions something about staying with Luffy’s family in the Revolutionary Army, and it seems innocent enough except for the fact that Robin is wearing her “I know something you don’t” smile. It’s easily brushed off though, because Robin says she can’t share classified information. 

Zoro is not really one to give praise, but he does compliment Usopp for surviving two years on an island that was literally trying to eat him. Seriously, Usopp has developed a lot since Zoro last saw him, and he seems a lot more confident than the insecure liar they picked up in Syrup Village so long ago.

Everyone seems a lot more confident, actually. Robin is smiling much more, Chopper is so much more enthusiastic than he’s ever been, and the cook seems weirdly relaxed for once. Zoro hadn’t noticed it much in Sabaody, but the cook seems… different, somehow. He isn’t quite as pushy as he had been in the past, and his mere presence isn’t aggravating Zoro the way it used to. 

Zoro gets his explanation soon enough. Sanji is second to last to share his adventures from the last two years, and he takes a shaky breath before doing so. Robin, sitting next to Sanji, places one hand on his back and gives him an encouraging nod.

“I spent my two years on Momoiro Island.” Sanji starts. He is met with mostly blank stares, except from Nami, who raises her eyebrows. Sanji scans their reactions before he continues.

“So the island is home to a huge community of LGBT people, who wanted to create a place where they could exist without judgement. They’re led by Emporio Ivankov of the Revolutionary Army. I actually got to see Robin a few times over those years, because she visited the island on business once or twice. Ah, but that’s besides the point…”

Sanji trails off, still acting nervous. Luckily for him, Luffy interrupts. “I remember Iva-chan! He was so nice! Did he train you, Sanji?”

Sanji whips his head in Luffy’s direction so quickly that Zoro thinks it might fly off. “You think he was nice?”

“Yeah, he saved my life,” Luffy says matter-of-factly.

Sanji shakes his head. “That… doesn’t matter right now. Yes, he trained my cooking and my fighting abilities, but he also made me learn a lot more about myself. Like, that my views on the world and people in the LGBT community were really outdated. And… that I’m genderfluid.”

“Great for you, bro!” Franky congratulates, tears already forming in his eyes. “What does that mean, though?”

Sanji laughs, Franky’s antics lightening the mood for all of them. “I just don’t feel like a man all the time. Sometimes, I feel like a woman, or sometimes I feel like I’m somewhere in between. It changes all the time. Oh, and I use any pronouns now.”

Franky nods, and Usopp also nods along with one hand on his chin. “Right, I get it, but what are pronouns?” Usopp asks.

“It’s like he, she, they. You can use any of them to refer to me, just make sure to use all of them at different points. It’s not great if I’m hearing only ‘he’ all the time.”

Zoro can practically see the steam coming from Luffy’s ears as he processes this. Finally, Luffy speaks. “So, is it like, ‘this is Sanji, they are my cook, and they make the best food ever?’” he asks before looking between Sanji and Robin with an expectant look on his face. Robin giggles softly, and Sanji smiles.

“Yeah, just like that. Or ‘Sanji is my cook, she makes the best food ever.’ You can use any of them,” they assure their captain.

Luffy smiles wide and laughs. “Okay, I get it now! Thank you Sanji!”

After Luffy, everyone else offers thei support and congratulations. Nami, Robin, and Chopper each wrap Sanji up in a tight hug, while Brook and Usopp remind Sanji that he’s always a valued member of the crew. Franky continues crying because of how much strength it must have taken for Sanji to come out. 

Zoro… Zoro doesn’t really react. He nods at the cook when she looks his way, but Zoro doesn’t really know what to say. He’s confused, too, because he doesn’t really know what feeling like a man or woman is like, and he’s never even heard about that “somewhere in between” that Sanji was talking about earlier.

The rest of the crew moves on quickly. Zoro is the only one left who hasn’t shared his whereabouts, and he knows the crew will enjoy this. Not only was Zoro staying with and training under his greatest rival, but that ghost girl too. As expected, Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper get a kick out of that. Zoro pushes his worries about Sanji’s coming out to the back of his mind and focuses on enjoying his time with his family before Luffy inevitably drags them into some mess again.

The descent to Sabaody takes forever; long enough for Sanji to prepare and serve dinner. It’s actually quite a meal, featuring each of the Straw Hats’ favorite dishes – meat on the bone, cheeseburgers, sandwiches, even rice balls for Zoro. It is great to be home, defending his food from Luffy’s sticky hands and dodging the peas that Usopp has been launching across the table. Dinners on the Sunny are no calm event, but Zoro loves it. He loves the chaos of it all.

Normally, Zoro is one of the first few out of the kitchen. He usually has something better to be doing like training, napping, or getting pulled into playing tag with Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper. But Zoro has questions, about Sanji’s whole gender thing, and he can’t just ask that in front of everyone. Hell, it’s embarrassing enough to ask the cook about it. 

Zoro sits at the table long after he’s finished his dinner, even after everyone has left. He watches as the cook cleans up and washes dishes, ignoring Zoro’s stare the whole time. She doesn’t even try to start a fight, which is unusual, because usually if Zoro stares for that long it’s like asking for a shoe to the face.

Finally, Sanji has apparently had enough. The dishes are washed, dried, and put away. There is nothing else to do in the kitchen, so they turn to Zoro, planting their hands on the island bar and leaning over.

“I’ll bite, is there a reason why you’re watching me, marimo?” He starts. It carries the usual tone of annoyance, but maybe a little more. “This ain’t about earlier, is it? Better not be, cause I will–”

Zoro interrupts by shaking his head. “It’s not… Well, it’s not what you’re thinking. I just. I don’t get it,” he mumbles, staring down at the table in front of him, one hand coming up to play with his earrings the way he does when he’s stressed. He can still feel Sanji staring at him, and he waves his hand, gesturing at nothing. “The, uh, the gender thing. I’m having trouble understanding it. I want to understand it.” He looks up, meeting Sanji’s eyes. Sanji sighs.

“Ok, well which part don’t you get? I don’t really know how else to explain it, other than what I said earlier. Sometimes I feel like a man, sometimes a woman, sometimes in between.” Sanji starts. He speaks slowly, as if he were explaining this to a baby or something. Slightly annoying, but Zoro doesn’t push it.

Zoro furrows his brow, frustrated about the explanation, because it doesn’t really explain anything . At least, not the way Zoro needs. “That’s the thing! What the hell does feeling like a man feel like?”

Sanji falls quiet. “The hell do you mean?” Zoro can hear the usual burning edge to her words, the fight he’s used to. He doesn’t want to make Sanji mad, goddamnit, he wants to understand! Sanji takes an angry hit of their cigarette, blowing smoke in Zoro’s direction. Zoro glares back.

“I mean, how do you know when you’re a man? Since you’re other things sometimes, how do you tell the difference?”

“What’s this about, marimo?”

“Just.. Just answer the question! My reason doesn’t matter!”

“Okay, just… give me a minute, okay? It’s a weird ass question, you caught me off guard.” Zoro nods and leans back on the bench, satisfied for now. Sanji sits down on one of the barstools, spinning slowly as they think.

“I mean, to start off, did you know all this gender thing is fake?” Sanji speaks up after a moment, stopping so he is facing Zoro. “One of my, uh, friends? Yeah, one of my friends back in Kamabakka told me that everything we know about gender is just gender roles. It’s what we tell each gender they’re supposed to do or feel, not what gender actually is. Like, some people think women are just supposed to cook and clean and be quiet while men are supposed to go off and make money for the family. The way my old geezer raised me, women are better than men, and we’re supposed to protect and serve them in any way we can. It’s really different from person to person.”

Sanji pauses to take another hit as she continues. “Let's see… To me, being a man still feels more like responsibility. But there's more, too. Masculinity is loud and brash, it’s like a jungle or like the sea during a storm. The way my legs heat up when I do Diable Jambe, that feels manly too. But it’s different from when I feel like a woman; that’s all light and airy and stuff. It’s like helping Nami-san take care of her tangerines, or laughing with my crew and getting compliments on my food. Femininity is like caring for people, while masculinity is taking responsibility. And then there’s some times when it’s more than that… when I feel charged up and everything is uncertain but it doesn’t need to make sense. It’s like the early mornings when I’m the only one awake, or the moment before lightning strikes.” Sanji pauses, smiling, clearly patting themself on the back. “Eh, I’ve never had to think about how to describe it all before. I think Iva-san would be proud. That help at all, marimo?”

Zoro sits silent for a while, trying to take it all in. He’s never felt like… like a forest, or a storm, or like his legs are heating up. He had taken responsibility for things plenty of times, but it wasn’t related to his gender or anything, it was just what he had to do. There’s one thing that definitely stands out about Sanji’s descriptions, though.

“So, being a man, it doesn’t ever feel like you’re just performing it? It’s not like a job?” 

Sanji just… blinks at Zoro, then they stand up and start moving around the kitchen again. He pulls down a mug and starts brewing some tea. Zoro isn’t a big tea person, but he still understands the gesture.

“No, it doesn’t feel like a job.” Sanji finally says after filling the kettle and placing it on the stove. “It used to, though. Before I discovered all of this, and the possibility that I could just not be a man. You feel like it is?”

Zoro ignores Sanji’s gaze, suddenly very interested in the top of the dinner table. He knows Sanji understands, though, as she continues to talk. “I won’t press you, cause god knows I hated it when Iva-san did that to me. But just think about it, okay? There’s a lot out there, and the crew won’t care, you saw them today.” Sanji pauses to place the mug of tea in front of Zoro. “I won’t tell anyone either. But don’t start expecting me to be nice to you or anything! We’re still enemies!” 

Zoro grins. He knows that he and Sanji aren’t really enemies, they haven’t been in a long time. Sanji learning to accept themself had helped the both of them a lot, and they’re closer to friends at this point. Sanji knows it too, but they have reputations to keep! Still, it’s pretty nice. Sanji doesn’t treat Zoro like it’s anything weird or shameful, he just understands and explains and lets it be. She nods at Zoro, straightening up to leave the kitchen. “Oh, and you’re washing your own mug! Don’t get lost on the way to the cabinets, marimo!” she adds as an afterthought, ducking out of the doorway before Zoro can send him a glare. 

----------

 Zoro stands outside the door to Robin’s library, mug of tea in hand, for about ten minutes, just trying to work up the courage to enter. He feels so stupid, being scared to ask his crewmate to borrow a book. While talking with Sanji had helped, just a little, Zoro still has a lot of questions.

He is staring into his mug weighing his options and thinking that he might just come back tomorrow when Robin opens the door. She seems surprised to see him, almost dropping the book in her hands. As usual, she recovers gracefully, donning her usual closed-eye smile.

“My, it’s certainly rare to see you here, Swordsman-san. Is there something I can help you with?” she greets, holding the door open and beckoning Zoro inside.

“Uh, yeah, but if you were leaving–” Zoro tries to deflect. I’m not ready for this, he thinks. He hasn’t felt so uncertain in a long time.

“Oh, I insist!” Robin asserts. “It’s no trouble at all. What can I help you with?”

Zoro looks up at her, at her kind eyes and non-judgemental smile. He knows that Sanji was right last night when they told him that the crew wouldn’t mind if Zoro ended up not being a man. He knows that Robin, especially, wouldn’t mind. He recalls a day from two years ago, when Luffy had suddenly found interest in the book Robin was reading and she had confessed she was transgender as well. That moment had felt so inconsequential back then; it was just another instance of Zoro’s captain and crew bonding. But today, it feels like a lifeline.

Zoro takes a deep breath to steady himself. “Yeah, actually, I was looking for a book. I don’t know the name though.”

“That’s no problem at all. Do you know what kind of book it is?” Robin asks. 

Zoro scratches at the back of his head. “Uh, yeah. Do you remember that book you and Luffy were reading a couple years ago? He just wanted to look at the pictures, though, I think.”

Robin brings one hand up to hide her lips as she takes a tiny gasp. “Yes, I know exactly which book you’re talking about. Let me go pull it down for you.” Robin pats Zoro’s shoulders as she walks away, gesturing at the benches that surround the library. “You can take a seat, if you want. I can leave you alone, too. I’ll just continue my own reading.”

Zoro sits and nods, feeling a little overwhelmed. He hadn’t planned on telling Robin why he was here, exactly, but Robin knows everything anyways and he does find her company to be very comforting. Robin is something like what Zoro imagines an older sister might be like.

“I, uh. I think I would like that, but…” Zoro is unsure of what he’s asking, letting his voice drop out as he continues thinking.

“I’ll stay down here the whole time, if that’s what you want. And you can always ask for help.” Robin pats Zoro’s shoulder again as she passes him the book. “I’m just across the room, okay?”

Zoro is grateful, so grateful for Robin’s easy going nature. He shudders a bit as he opens the book, looking for the chapter on gender identities.

The first thing Zoro notices is just how many there are. There’s like, a thousand, each one with a different name and flag and description. It’s a lot for him to take in at once.

Breathe, Zoro, something in the back of his mind tells him. Just go through it one at a time. Zoro sighs. He already knows he isn’t trans the way that Luffy and Robin are, and he’s pretty sure he’s not genderfluid the way the cook is either. That narrows down his search, at least a little.

As Zoro flips through the pages, he just finds himself feeling more and more lost and frustrated. All these terms are swimming around in his head. And to make matters worse, a lot of them seem to rely on what a person is already feeling. Zoro… Zoro doesn’t actually know what he’s feeling. He’s had this vague notion that he wasn’t quite a man for a long time, but he’s also been acting as one for long enough that it still feels like part of him. He’s getting tempted to just slam the book closed and call it a night, but he really doesn’t want to find out what happens if he mistreats Robin’s books. He has a feeling it won’t be pretty.

“Are you doing alright over there, Swordsman-san?” Robin calls, momentarily stirring Zoro from his thoughts. She has worry written all over her face. “You seem a bit frustrated.”

“I am, but I’m okay.” Zoro reassures her as he continues reading. Then, he hits upon the definition.

Agender , the book reads. A person who feels a lack of a gender identity, or does not feel a strong relation to any gender identity. An absence of gender.

There is a second paragraph below, from an agender person describing how they feel about their own identity. It was really hard for me to figure out for a long time, the author starts , because I just didn’t want to face it. I was comfortable enough living with my own assigned gender. But whenever I think of myself and the words I would use to describe myself, my gender isn’t one of them. I was raised one way, sure, but that is as far as the connection goes. I don’t feel like a man or a woman, I just feel like me.

Zoro chokes on his breath. He studies the image of the flag next to it, and another memory from two years ago pops up in his head. “This flag looks like Zoro,” Luffy had said, and Robin agreed because of the colors. The agender flag has green, white, and black stripes. This is the flag that matched him two years ago, and now with the definition…

Zoro breathes in quickly. His heart is racing, hammering against his ribcage like a drum. He thinks back to what Sanji told him earlier, about sometimes feeling like more than a man or a woman. Zoro hadn’t understood it then, still doesn’t really grasp it. But he knows that he doesn’t feel what Sanji was describing. But if nothing is an option…

When Zoro tries to think about his gender identity, it is just his role as a man. He does what men do because that’s how he was raised, that’s what everyone told him to be. That’s his only connection to it. If he thinks any further than that… there’s nothing. He’s always just felt like Zoro , not Zoro the man or Zoro the woman or Zoro the anything else. Just Zoro, nothing more.

Agender. It certainly seems to fit.

And that thought is so world-changing, so scary, so new that Zoro doesn’t know how to handle it. Consequences be damned, he shuts the book quickly and tosses it onto the table, rushing out of the library. Robin stands up and calls after him, but Zoro just ignores her. All he wants to do is run, run away to when things were simpler, when he didn’t have to think about being different. He hurries into the boy’s room and huddles in his bunk, ignoring his crew for the rest of the night.

----------

Fishman Island is a disaster, of course, complete with princesses, some of Arlong’s disciples, and some very valuable revelations about the Poneglyphs for Robin. Zoro does his best to turn his brain off and focus on drinking the castle dry, eating delicious food prepared by the royal staff, and fighting. He ignores the whole gender issue. It wasn’t important for the first twenty-one years of Zoro’s life, so it can’t be that important now.

Sure, the realization that Zoro didn’t have to be a man was a weight off his shoulders. He didn’t have to “perform” if he wasn’t a man. But Zoro had almost gotten comfortable in the performance. He pretty much knew how to be a man. Why try to change things if they were working out already?

It becomes much harder to ignore after they resurface. Out on the open ocean, Zoro can’t rely on enemies to take his frustrations out on. He has to actually face this himself.

He’s especially irritable that day, mostly hiding in the bunk room and trying to nap. Zoro is usually very good at napping, but he can’t seem to calm his mind. No matter how much he tries to avoid thinking about it, the question of Zoro’s gender identity never leaves his mind.

He spots Robin and Sanji having a hushed discussion in the kitchen that afternoon. He just wanted a beer, because maybe the alcohol could push his thoughts back, but as soon as he enters the kitchen Robin and Sanji jump apart. Zoro doesn’t hear any of their discussion, but he has a pretty good idea what it might be about.

Luffy is the one to finally approach Zoro. He does it at night, when most of the crew has already gone to bed, except for Brook keeping watch in the crow’s nest. Zoro is leaning over the rail, flicking bottle caps over Sunny’s edge so he can watch them hit the water far below.

Luffy doesn’t say anything at first, just slowly walks up to Zoro and stands next to him. Zoro knows Luffy is watching him, analyzing him in that weird way he does. Luffy somehow knows things about people that they don’t yet know about themselves just from watching them, and usually Zoro really admires that, but he doesn’t want that knowing gaze turned on him. Especially not now.

But at the same time, it’s Luffy. Luffy who would never even dream of doing anything that might hurt his crew. Luffy, who sees the best in people, who has never judged his friends. Not when Nami claimed she was one of Arlong’s pirates, not when Robin was framed for shooting Iceburg, not when Usopp almost let his insecurities separate him from the crew. Luffy had nothing bad to say to Robin or Sanji when they came out, and he wouldn’t have anything bad to say to Zoro, either.

Zoro throws the last of his bottle caps overboard. There’s no way to avoid this. He sighs and sits down, back against the railing, and Luffy follows him down.

“What’s up, Zoro? Has something been on your mind?” Luffy starts.

“Luffy, how did you know you were a boy?” Zoro deflects. It doesn’t begin to address Zoro’s own issues, but he just needs to ease in for now.

Luffy looks a little surprised, but doesn’t push Zoro. “I actually always thought I was a boy. I didn’t know that my body was different to the other boys I knew, and I didn’t understand why people treated me differently when they met me. Everyone in the village called me a tomboy, so I thought I was a boy.” Luffy’s face softens for a moment, and he lets out a small laugh. “I really surprised Dadan and Ace the first time she tried to give us a bath. But when I told them I was a boy just like Ace, they didn’t push it, and they let me grow up as a boy.” Luffy trails off a little, but nods when he finishes his thought. He looks at Zoro again, and Zoro swears those eyes are seeing right through him. “Are you… questioning? Do you think you might not be a boy?” He asks, cutting straight through the bullshit and right to the core of Zoro’s problem.

All Zoro can do is nod weakly and stare at the floor. “I asked Sanji for help and she helped me a little, and I asked Robin to look at her books but it all just made me more frustrated. I don’t want to face myself, right now. It all just feels wrong.” Zoro’s face feels hot, he isn’t used to this kind of heart-to-heart and he’s starting to feel really embarrassed and–

Luffy reaches out, crossing the divide between them, and places his hand on Zoro’s. “You’re still the same Zoro you were before, right? Nothing’s gonna change, we’re just gonna see you as you.”

Zoro lifts his head up and stares at Luffy. He knows his jaw is hanging open, and he can’t bring himself to close it. Still the same Zoro… how does Luffy always know just the right thing to say?

“Do you want me to go get Robin’s book? We can look at it again, maybe I can help–”

Zoro shakes his head and smiles at Luffy. “No, it’s okay. I think I know which one I am. I was scared, though, about what it might change. I don’t want to change.”

Luffy laughs. “Nothing is going to change, Zoro. Well, hopefully you feel happier, cause you get to be who you really are. But that’s not scary, that’s a good thing!” Luffy’s eyes are bright and his hand is warm on Zoro’s.

“Yeah… happier, huh.” Zoro breathes out. He never really thought about what comes after his realization, but happiness… well that always sounds nice. Under the moonlight, with Luffy holding his hand and watching over him, Zoro is a little less scared to face himself and the truth that he has probably known this whole time.

“Well, Captain…” Zoro stops himself, clears his throat, and starts again. Right now, this is a conversation between friends, not captain and crew. “Well, Luffy… I’m not a boy. I’m agender.”

Luffy is on him in a second, wrapping him in a tight hug and threatening to knock them both overboard. Luffy is laughing and so is Zoro as they rearrange themselves to sit side-by-side, now looking out over the water.

“I’m proud of you, Zoro.” Luffy whispers, and Zoro feels warm in spite of himself. “So, do you know what this means from now on? Are you gonna change how we refer to you, like Sanji did?”

Zoro stills. He has been so caught up in denying everything, he never thought about what comes next. Slowly, he shakes his head. “I… I haven’t thought about it yet.”

“That’s okay! You can think about it now.” Luffy swings his legs over the side of the ship and leans into Zoro’s side. “Are you feeling better now? Do you wanna tell everyone soon?”

Zoro ponders it for a minute. He is feeling better, a lot better than when Luffy had found him. He knows the crew will be accepting, just like they were for Luffy and Robin and Sanji. If telling everyone can finally get this weight off of Zoro’s chest, he’s ready. He leans into Luffy, feeling the rough texture of the straw hat tickle his cheek. “Yeah, I think I’ll be ready soon. Thank you, Luffy.”

“It’s no problem, Zoro.”

Even after his talk with Luffy, the idea of coming out is still terrifying. Normally, the words “Zoro” and “scared” don’t even go in the same sentence. But there is something so much more real, more personal, about this. Zoro’s gender isn’t some enemy he can cut up. It’s him. And he’s trying to adjust to this new view of himself.

He talks to Robin first. He thanks her for letting him use her book, and apologizes for slamming it shut. He tells her how he knew that the term agender fit him, but that it freaked him out, and he tells her about his talk with Luffy. Robin is a patient listener, and she tells Zoro that she doesn’t blame him. “I figured that you saw something that fit you. I also had a hard time accepting myself. It’s normal to be unsure and afraid, but thank you for telling me.” She reassures.

His talk with Sanji isn’t as calm or patient, but it gets the job done. He thanks Sanji for helping him figure things out, using as few words as he can. Sanji teases back, but nothing she says is hurtful. They just acknowledge that Zoro feels differently, but there’s nothing to say about it, really. Zoro appreciates that sort of understanding.

Nami tells the crew that their next island is about three days away, provided that nothing gets in their way. Slim chance of nothing getting in their way, but Zoro is thankful to know. He spends three days getting comfortable. He tries out different pronouns in secret with Robin, Luffy, and Sanji, and he is pleased to realize that being referred to as “they” doesn’t feel as weird as he thought it would. 

Zoro finally tells the crew over dinner on the third day. Sanji made rice bowls; a giant pot of rice and three different kinds of meat as well as tons of veggies for the crew to choose from. Zoro loves rice bowls almost as much as rice balls, but he’s sure he never told Sanji that. Sanji doesn’t mention it, so Zoro doesn’t either.

Zoro had already told Luffy and Robin he was going to do it tonight, so they are sitting on either side of him. Luffy is playing with Zoro’s free hand under the table, waiting for Zoro’s signal to call attention to him.

Zoro nods at Luffy, signaling that he’s ready. Well, he’s not, but it’s now or never. Time to take the leap.

Luffy sets his silverware down and addresses the rest of the table. “Hey, everyone, Zoro has something to say. He’s nervous, so be nice.” The last sentence is teasing, and everyone knows it. They aren’t going to be mean to Zoro, and considering how similar his nervous energy was to Sanji’s just a few weeks ago, they have an inkling of what Zoro might need to tell them.

“I don’t know how to start this,” Zoro admits. Luffy takes off his hat and plops it down on Zoro’s head, and the gesture is so meaningful , it gives Zoro the push he needs. Zoro forges on ahead.

“Ok, uh, I guess it starts with the cook. A few days ago, when they came out, it uh… it kinda impacted me a lot too. I didn’t actually know that there was anything other than just man and woman, so it made me question a lot of things.” Sanji’s face looks weird; it’s red like she’s embarrassed but there’s a hint of… happiness? somewhere in there. Robin rubs Zoro’s back to encourage him.

“Well, once I knew I wasn’t just limited to being a man, it made a lot of things from my past make sense. I’ve never exactly felt like a man, I just did it because I thought it’s what I had to do. So what I’m saying is I’m not a man, I’m not really anything, in fact. I’m agender. No gender, just me.”

Luffy is smiling next to him and Robin and Chopper are both wrapping him in a hug. Nami teases Zoro about how emotional he’s become, but she’s proud of him too. So is everyone else. It’s a lot… but it’s still nice. Sanji just nods approvingly, and it reminds Zoro of how he reacted to Sanji’s coming out.

Before anyone else can ask Zoro, he speaks up again. “Oh, and for the pronoun thing. It’s he/they. Kinda like the cook’s, but no she.” Everyone nods and accepts it.

Zoro really, really loves their crew. They never thought they would reach this level of happiness, of acceptance. He supposes he should have known when Luffy accepted his dream without any argument, accepted everyone’s dreams no matter how crazy they were. Once Luffy declares someone as nakama , he is never letting go, and Zoro is so grateful that he chose to follow someone like that. They couldn’t dream of a life that was any different.

Zoro is feeling a bit awkward, so he’s glad when other conversations pick back up and dinner resumes. Usopp asks Zoro if this means they’re gonna be the world’s greatest swords person , and Zoro says that’s stupid, and the table fills with laughter. The night is still young and Zoro is surrounded by people they love and nothing has ever felt better.

[the-owl-tree]

What about My Pride? The uh YouTube series, I think the writer was problematic somehow but that might be a thing to mention and also I’d like to see your thoughts

It's on the list! My shorter, more concise thoughts are that while I appreciate it as very much a labor of love with some talented artists and voice actors on the team, the actual story and writing is disappointing, tone deaf, and downright infuriating at times.

I guess rattling off my issues (spoilers included):

I found the central handling of disability and Nothing's character to be poorly thought out. Needing multiple abled bodied characters to get her moving, it feels like there was little research done in trying to depict a character like her.

I hate that her name stays as "Nothing" and that an abled bodied lion lectures her about accepting it. Terribly thought out scene. I'm a she should've changed her name to Everything truther.

The central gay lion romance that the series is based off is pretty poorly written with very few sprinkles of endearing and fun moments between them unfortunately. Hover is...mean? She's a terrible partner and I was genuinely upset that her not sticking up for her girlfriend all because she missed idk a lion recital (something Hover?? canonically should not give a shit about???) was scummy. it would be one thing if Hover was meant to be in the wrong...but she's not depicted as that?

The two spend so much time apart, you start to get kind of annoyed at how much gay lions were part of the marketing and then the gay lions! weren't there!!

Didn't care for it!!

I actually liked the world and premise. I enjoy unfair and cruel societies, I like the idea of someone working to change the system (though I very rarely see the execution of that I like, very rarely will stories depict the actual necessary actions for confronting a society like this: tearing it down entirely and building something better).

I hate Feather. Them pulling their punch and not killing him was lame.

Nothing's brother being the twist villain should have been set up better, it doesn't hit the same way it could have had the series planted the seeds earlier on. We have no reason to understand why he would act this way, he was doing just fine better? Why not set up tensions when we meet the group of young male lions?

I don't like that the only real importance Nothing holds isn't because of something about her in the present, but the importance of her able bodied past life. Her ending with her wanting to die is...bleak because I don't believe she has recognized her own worth.

Poor handling of abuse. I disagree with the notion that trying to give depth to abusers is in itself apologia, but the show is trying to like....idk how to say this properly but it wants to "both sides" Nothing's mother's treatment of her, ya know? I found it really icky.

Uh I think I could say more but you'd have to give me a specific topic to bite onto or I'll keep meandering lol but I didn't care for the show but I do feel for fans of the show who are stuck on a cliffhanger. I hope the creator releases the rest of the story plan at the very least.

[cdevill]

I don't own Rwby and spoilers ahead for Volume 1. This will be a review/impression of the first volume.

The story in this volume could have been done better.

I feel like the team was trying to do too much but with very little time. In my opinion, they only should have focused on the girl's because they're the main characters and how they've been marketed to be the four leads. Sure, we could have Pyrrha, Jaune especially during the exam process. It shows we have other people that we can come back to but later when we have more resources to make episodes longer. We do have to sacrifice Jaune's arc for the moment but in exchange, we get more screen time for the girls. Ruby and Weiss could have had more time to flesh out their relationship instead of wrapping everything up in a few minutes. Yang can also get some development or even have her and Blake warm up to each other. It felt like they were trying to cover too much. When in reality, they should have been more picky.

Now, I'll give a pass to the animation because it is fairly back in the day and while it's rough. I can understand their restraints on animation.

I do like how Ruby is trying to prove herself and show off because she is two years younger than everyone else. We know it's because no one can take her seriously. Which is why she does her best to impress Weiss. Whom she already annoyed and had a bad first impression earlier in the volume. It's a nice touch that I can understand. Even if it caused more problems, it's an understandable fault.

However, I don't like what they did with Jaune nor with Cardin. I'll get into them both in another post because that's quite the explanation.

Blake does get some development with how she is so quiet and off putting because of her past. It's justified and it helps with her goal to improve Fanus stance in the world. Speaking of the Human and Faunus relationship, Blake's and Sun's past actions only further Weiss's negative stance on the Faunus. Blake being secretive and Sun evading the law. We know Weiss doesn't like the Fanus and let's use it to make her have a character flaw. She's racist, because all her life. She has heard nothing but bad things about the Fanus. It doesn't help that they stole from her Family's Business.

It could be a fault that Weiss has to acknowledge and work on, she has many reasons to not like the faunus but she needs to learn that the actions of a few does not represent the whole. Therefore working on her racism.

Weiss just going, "I don't care." Is not an adequate reasoning to openly accept Blake with such open arms. Weiss has been shown to dislike Ruby for quite a while and Blake should not be exempt from the rule.

If we had more time, Ruby and Yang would try to convince Weiss to give Blake a chance. Weiss obviously refuses because of her negative experiences with the faunus and doesnt search for Blake. Weiss is alone at school while she let's Yang and Ruby search for Blake. Weiss is questioned by Ozpin on why she is alone and Weiss speaks about Blake. She expects Ozpin to discharge Blake but he doesn't before explaining to Weiss on Blake's perspective. If all you do is say that someone is a monster and keep hurting them. They will become that monster. He tells Weiss to think it over and she begrudgingly does. Weiss, doesn't want too but she has to do it because of her own selfish reason. Thus, it's not a, "I don't care" but, "I need to be the best and that requires my team to be the best. I'll give you a chance but only because of what I want."

This helps to let Weiss have character development and motivation. She may not trust Blake or any faunus but we have seeds be planted for that eventual dynamic.

Weiss is not buddy buddy with any faunus including Blake. Indicating that Weiss still has a cold outlook about the faunus. This tells the audience. That despite working on her flaw, not everyone can be perfect. That they will still have issues in the future. It will take time for Weiss to work through this flaw.

Yet we lose something like this because of...Jaune and his arc.

Heck, we can even have Ruby and Yang have development. Yang trying to get Ruby to not only rely on her big sister is trying too hard to push Ruby away. This can further their relationship as Ruby realizes that the job she wants, will not always allow Yang to be by her side. It'll help Ruby become more independent and realize that as the leader. She can't look to other people for help or for comfort.

Yet the plot has to keep being pulled back to Jaune's unnecessary long arc.

I do like Sun, as to show that Im not all up in arms about new people. His introduction and screentime is where Blake screen time is and doesn't take away from Blake. Sun tries to get Blake to accept help and contributes to her arc. If Jaune could have been used like this more often than I wouldn't hate his character as much.

For example, when Ruby is looking for Blake. Jaune comes to Ruby's aid this time and says being a leader is tough. As everyone relies on them to fix their problems and the problems with the team. The two can mutually bond about the situation and Ruby knows that she can rely on Jaune. As a emotional pillar and they can be good friends because of their circumstances. This helps establish Jaune as a kind individual willing to help or even just hear his friends out. It didn't take four episodes to establish him but just two minutes of screen time. As someone Ruby can relate too and vice-versa.

Instead, Jaune serves to just take time away from the girls with 4 episodes dedicated to him. Who still need development and to be fleshed out a lot more.

Blake is quite enjoyable at least in my opinion. I might be in the few who do like her but I can see why others don't like her.

Ruby and Yang need more time dedicated to their sibling relationship. As it would develop both characters, two birds, one stone and mentioning of possible Weiss development is above. This would help to improve the first volume somewhat as Jaune and the side characters would be sidelined. However, since Ruby, Weiss, Blake and Yang are the main characters. It is imperative that the entire first volume be focused on those four. We can add other characters later.

Overall, I'll give this volume a 5/10. It's not the worst I have seen but the unfocused nature of the volume with its characters does drag it down. Dubbing down Jaune and Cardin to a simple bully relationship also hurts the show. However, Blake and The Fanus situation serve to add life to the world. At least in my opinion, and Ruby is a pretty nice character for this volume. However, more could have been done with her.

[munsons-maiden]

hya lovely maiden!

since you mentioned you read flight of icarus and since you always know eddie so well maybe you can soothe my anxiety a teeny bit?

i fear that eddie is a fuckboy and not a romantic ("not looking to be anyone's boyfriend", the way he likes paige first because of her job and that he jokes about being her roommate that she sleeps with) and it really hurts :(

Hi love! No worries, I got you!🖤

So, Eddie is absolutely not a fuckboy, to begin with; but I'm gonna do a deep-dive into that in a second.

Bear in mind that FOI is the story of how Eddie became the Eddie we got to know and fell in love with in season 4 (it's even marketed as that!) so of course there needed to be room for character growth in FOI - he needed to become that version of himself we see on screen first. FOI Eddie is not yet our Eddie.

Long meta under the cut, including FOI spoilers:

The author's done a solid job painting a picture of exactly the surroundings and situation Eddie finds himself in, and it's a heartbreaking one:

Family: His mom is dead, his dad is severely neglecting him (leaving him with nothing but peanut butter for several days when he's a kid etc. so Wayne jumps in and restocks the fridge and always makes sure Eddie's being cared for). And whenever Al Munson - someone in whose shadow Eddie has grown up; his dad is charming and Eddie feels like he's simultaneously in his dad's shadow AND needs to vie for his love and attention. According to Eddie, everyone loves charming Al Munson and hates him, and the latter part is absolutely true which leads to:

His surroundings. Principal Higgins calls Eddie a rotten apple, and actively wants to force him to drop out of school. Eddie and the rest of Hellfire get bullied - and beaten - by the basketballers on a regular basis. The thing he loves so, so much - D&D - is likened to satanism and frowned upon. Eddie wants to get out of Hawkins and it's absolutely understandable why because this town is Hell for him.

So, now we got that summarized, let's have a look at Eddie's relationship with Wayne, which reminds me of those heartbreaking videos of severely neglected stray cats get pet for the first time in their life. They don't recognize the gentle touch as affection because they've never experienced it before, or they do but don't know how to handle it because they aren't used to it so they get aggressive, they hiss and try to bite. That's Eddie, and the reason for it is self-explanatory: his dad has neglected him, severely so. We'll get back to that in a minute.

Eddie's internal monologue. On one hand, Eddie always thinks that everything good that happens to him is going to burst like a bubble eventually and he sadly is correct. Take the meeting with Paige's parents for example: everything's going well, they really like him, until the subject of "that satanistic D&D club" comes up and they make it clear they think about D&D what the rest of Hawkins; that it's bad stuff. And once again, Eddie's true self wouldn't be welcomed with open arms, only the version of himself he's created to impress Paige's parents (for her, by they way!). On the other hand, has internalised the rotten apple bullshit Higgins and the rest of Hawkins keeps telling him. When confronted with Paige's parents' disdain for D&D, while Paige tries to rectify her parents' opinion on the game, Eddie tells them he "would never want anything to do with that stuff". He's hiding and denying a HUGE part of himself to be accepted and liked, and it feels horrible. And later, when he tells Wayne he's leaving for California to be "better than that" Wayne calls him out on it, connecting the dots that what Eddie means is that he wants to be better than what and who he is now, and it hurts Wayne that Eddie thinks so horribly lowly of himself. Which in return makes Eddie angry because he's hurting, he's the stray cat not yet knowing that receiving affection is a good thing. (It adds to teh explosive mix that despite Al's scheming and narcissism, Eddie still believes - or wants to believe - that Al can be a real dad, they they can be "like a real family". He's not ready to face the fact that the one and only person Al loves in teh world is Al, and - as is very typical in these cases - it's easier to shoot the messenger (in this case, get mad at Wayne for telling the truth) than facing that painful truth. He's getting there by the end of the book, which is a MAJOR step in his character arc, and Wayne is helping him with it. We see the contrast: When Wayne stocks the fridge with vegetables, something nobody has ever done for Eddie, Eddie doesn't react with aggression any longer but the veggies still rot in teh fridge because he doesn't know how to handle that display of affection. It's something he only started accepting and now learning how to do.)

Eddie is hurting, and his - understandably - greatest wish is not only to leave Hawkins behind but prove everyone wrong about him, prove everyone and himself that he can be someone to look up to.

And Paige is the one holding the key to that future.

Eddie genuinely likes her - he swoons, he opens up to her about his mother's death, he agrees to meet her parents to make her happy, he thinks about how he memorizes the feeling of kissing her etc. He isn't - and never has been! - a fuckboy. A fuckboy is someone who uses women to boost his own ego, and that's absolutely not what's going on here.

The two girls he hooked up with pre-FOI were only trying to get with him to brag to their friends afterwards about how it is being with the Freak, which must be a truly hurtful thing to be aware of. Eddie's not using them; they are using him and he lets them in a very relatable "so what, I didn't want to be their boyfriend anyways so may as well get something out of it" way. It's a defense mechanism, and a way to gloss over the fact that it hurts to be treated like that. He's the town pariah, and he knows it, and his coping mechanism is spite.

Now back to Paige. I've seen lots of complaints how Eddie never seems to think about her when he's not with her, how he never mentions her in his dreams of moving to California, but we DO know he likes her, he cares about her, and he likes to be with her; that's evident. And I understand why his priority, the one thing that makes everything else fade into the background, is to get away from the place where he's nothing but a Freak, a victim of bullying from his peers AND the adults alike, where people despise him. But he never, not once, manipulated or used Paige. He asks her for help right at the start, but he was smitten with her even before he knew she was working for a record label. Crushing on her and wanting her help to be free of the painful existence he's forced to lead in Hawkins are very well able to co-exist, and they do. It's Paige initiating every next step between them, but - again - Eddie truly likes her. It's not a burning romance but he's got so much on his plate that I understand why he needs to get out of Hawkins first. Plus, remember that Eddie believes everything good that happens to him will eventually turn to dust, that "his rot is spreading to everyone around him" (that's teh actual book quote). When Paige asks him to move in and he asks "as...?" and she says "A roommate" and he clarifies "A roommate that you sleep with" it's banter, they're both timid and dancing around the label of their relationship. He actually leaves it to her to put a label on what's going on, and she doesn't and neither does he, but when she asks him to meet her parents he agrees and shows up with chocolate and flowers, trying his best to impress them for her. He's not someone who absolutely despises the thought of being in a relationship as log as he's with the right person; it's just not a possibility he's been presented with or deemed possible enough to actually think about, which is relatable. The odds aren't exactly in Eddie's favour (and have never been before, either). It's exactly the arc most romcom male MC's start with. Also: Eddie has been dealt the worst cards so far, has been hurt so many times in his young life - including by the one person who should have loved and protected him - it truly would be understandable if he lashed out, if he'd started mnipulating and using people and hurting them the way he's hurting, but he DOESN'T. Not even at his lowest. When he does lash out - at Wayne, and in the end at Paige - it's in misguided self-defence. He thinks Paige sees him just liek everyone else in Hawkins sees him, he's agonized by it, so he lashes out first before she can deal the final blow without knowing that it wasn't her intent to deal any blows but help him. As soon as he realizes it, he tries calling her to apologize, tries it for days until he figures she doesn't want anything to do with him any longer and his stalking is getting creepy so he accepts her boundaries and gives her space. He's been calling her on repeat, and she's made it clear she doesn't want to talk to him.

As a final point - Joe Q and the Duffers already confirmed long ago that Eddie had a crush on Chrissy and they'd have become a couple, which officially proves that he was absolutely willing to be the boyfriend of the right person.

It's not a happy book, and it's not yet our Eddie, but there's nothing wrong with the younger version of Eddie, either 🖤

(I hope I was able to help and I hope it was coherent enough because I just gone done with a six-hours-statistics-studying-session that's melting my brain like fuel rods in a nuclear reactor 😅)

Also tagging @eddiemunsonsmum because we talked about the book a while ago and I've been meaning to share my thoughts on it with her and I'm so sorry it took me so long to do that and @songforeddiemunson because I'd love to hear Liv's thoughts about it too 🖤

[technicolorfamiliar]

Life & Trust Oct 13, 2024

It goes without saying that I went into L&T with a healthy amount of skepticism. Pretty much everything about how the show was marketed pissed me off, and all of the early teased info about the experience itself (the stupid masks with antlers, the fact that the show is basically a carbon copy of the Punchdrunk format, etc) made it sound ultra annoying. When I walked into the building last Sunday evening, my expectations were low. Which, inevitably, led me to find myself pleasantly surprised by the parts of L&T that worked, and to be massively ticked off by the things that didn't.

Spoilers below, including 1:1 info.

Preshow:

On arrival, I was escorted by a bar staff member to a small café table in the middle of Conwell Hall. Even with all the hype and photos on social media, the space is impressive, from the marble floors and columns to the antiqued brass fixtures to the massive Diego Rivera style show-specific mural hanging above the bar. It's cavernous, opulent in an Art Deco kind of way. There's a lot of cute paper ephemera on the tables, but between the menus, the business cards, the full-size old timey newspaper (full of in-world easter eggs), not to mention the drinks, the canapes, the votive candles… it's a lot of clutter. There's piped in music that's not quite period appropriate. I know there's some concern about disturbing the residents who actually live on the upper floors, but there's no reason they can't have like one person at a piano or something. They don't need a whole band, but some live entertainment would be nice.

Because I knew that people attending the 6pm "cocktail hour" get first admittance into the performance space, that's the entry time I booked. But that meant I had to stand around for the better part of an hour before doing 3ish more hours of standing, walking, and running inside the show. Other people, primarily couples and groups, got put at tables with seats during preshow. Because I was solo, I had to stand. Infuriating. There's no reason those tall café tables can't have bar stools or chairs. L&T seems to cater to couples and groups, which makes sense financially, but if they want to encourage repeat visits, they should make the preshow more accommodating to and comfortable solo guests. Just sayin'.

The Show:

The staff member I met during preshow escorted me and a handful of other guests to a small waiting room where we were held before being shown in to meet "the CEO", aka an older actor playing Old Faust J. G. Conwell. He was great, but the whole intro announcement/exposition scene is too long. Conwell's monologue is fine, but the second half of the scene with the demon? witch? goes on and on for no real reason other than to buy time for the previous group of audience members to filter into the performance space. (Maybe I'm just a broken shell of an immersive theater fan at this point, but I thought this scene and a few other moments in the show reveal too much of the bones of L&T's structure, feeling like ways to fill time rather than opportunities to pull me into the world. But again, maybe that's my fault.)

And what a space. Each subfloor is absolutely massive, yet all of the rooms (except the finale hall) feel a little claustrophobic because of the low ceilings. I know there are entire sections of the set I didn't see, but because it's at least four or five floors of disorienting, labyrinthine spaces, I don't feel like I was missing out.

The first room I walked into was what I can only describe as The Poodle Room… because it was a dark, creepy little office full, like floor to ceiling, of poodle figurines of various sizes. There are definitely some areas and rooms that you can tell a lot of care went into the design and detail -- the Conwell family suite is beautiful, something like an Egyptian tomb is bizarre and eerie, an old tavern and a series of tenements feel lived in.

There's also a Magical Devil Juice Forest with twinkling, color-changing fiberoptic lights on every branch and leaf. There's a dingy vaudeville theater, a nickelodeon running loops of early silent short films, a grimy artist's studio, a plush boudoir with a broken crystal chandelier in a heap on the floor, a coal mine. It's a lot. And yet, some of the spaces in the show have seem unfinished somehow or appear as an afterthought.

Based on what I'd read online, I was expecting the weird devil deer masks all the audience members wear to be super uncomfortable. In reality they're no worse than the Sleep No More masks. The antlers are a little annoying and totally unnecessary. But like a lot of things about Life & Trust, the masks seem to be the product of a certain aesthetic or viral moment the creators are desperately striving for. As Paul Hollywood says, most of what I saw felt like "style over substance."

The performances, all of the ones I saw anyway, were excellent. I tried to avoid characters that had excessively large groups of audience with them. Unfortunately, most of the familiar performers whose work in this new show I really wanted to see all seemed to have huge crowds with them at all times. Luckily, I didn't have to wander around for long before finding another character with few or zero people following them -- which may have been purely by chance or how the creators and performers designed the character tracks. Appreciated either way.

I saw a selection of scenes with the Miners, the Vaudeville Couple, Evelyn, Naima, the Maid, and Dorian, all of whom were played that night by extremely strong and engaging performers. I liked the tone shift with the Vaudeville Couple's scenes, how their sincerity and silliness turns performative and degrading as soon as they're offered money to entertain. I liked the working class Miners balance of hope and despair, the secret affair and role reversal between Naima and her Maid, and Dorian's shapeshifting physicality as his brittle and decadent façade begins to decay.

I followed the tarot reading Con Artist, basically from the top of the show. I should have made more of an effort to stay with them through their entire loop, but it just got to be too difficult to navigate the space as more and more people latched onto the character. The performer in this role was just subtle enough, just intimidating enough, which is no small feat because I imagine the character is extremely difficult to like, especially if you don't get the 1:1 early in their first loop where they explain some of their motivation. Interestingly, the 1:1 reveal of the Con Artist's lack of empathy gives them more humanity. They manipulate and steal from other characters in a way that feels curious, not outright evil. They made pointed eye contact with me in the scenes following the 1:1, marking me as an accomplice. When they eventually confront their own reflection in a hall of mirrors, they are at their most shattered and vulnerable. They collapsed, reaching out to me again for stability and comfort, but even this could have been a kind of manipulation. But you know what? I didn't mind, it was one of the few times in the show I forgot about the outside world all the other audience members around us and was actually… you know… immersed.

By the end of the last loop, my whole body hurt, I was sweaty and exhausted, and fully ready for the show to be over. But ohhh no, the finale had to happen first.

I'm sorry to say, unless you followed Faust Young Conwell or Mephisto -- or have a basic understanding of the primary framing narrative -- the finale makes no sense. The use of the finale space was smart, having the performers up on platforms allowed the audience to see most of the action (unlike some other recent immersive shows *COUGH*THE BURNT CITY*COUGH*), but the whole sequence was waaay too long. The lighting is cool, Conwell does a sick slow motion Matrix backbend at one point, and there's a striking final visual of the straightjacketed body in the water tank, but the whole thing could have been cut down to half the time and be just as impactful. And there was a curtain call?? I get wanting to honor the performers at the end of a show, but it took me right out of the moment. I mean, if you're going to do a show that's so similar in structure and style to Punchdrunk, why not end with character walk outs like they do? Although walk outs may have been difficult because because there's literally only one exit out of the finale space. Still. One of the things I like about immersive theater is that it doesn't feel like a play… I can stay in the world longer if there's no button on the end of the show, like a curtain call, you know?

Final Thoughts:

Reading back over this write up, it sounds like I had a bad time. And that's not the case, really I swear. There's a lot about L&T that works. It's beautiful, the original music is a nice touch (some people hate it, I really enjoyed and appreciated it), and the performances are truly pretty outstanding.

Mostly what doesn't work are the story and the structure. It doesn't have that hard-to-define Special Something that Punchdrunk shows have or even Third Rail Projects had with Then She Fell.

Life & Trust isn't going to haunt me the way other immersive shows do. It's trying too hard to be Instagramable, and thus sacrificing the soul and spirit it needs to be a lasting influence on this particular format of theater.

I'm glad I went and I absolutely did not hate the show, but it's simply too expensive to be worth multiple visits. Nor am I going to be thinking about it 10 - 15 years later.

P.S. I genuinely don't know if I'm going to do a write up on the Sleep No More show I saw on this trip. There's really not a lot to report. I might just write something when it finally closes… whenever that actually happens.

[sytokun]

RWBY V9 Episode 1 first impressions. Some spoilers. Also RWDE.

The first scene, both shot-wise and sound-wise was super well directed. The first person view into Ruby's headspace was very creative, and also an elegantly concise but unique recap of the last finale. Disregarding the nonsense surrounding the actual events (Yang getting KO'd instantly, no one being able to catch her and all that), it was an excellently directed scene.

Which makes it a pity that the scene right after felt really plodding and tonally dissonant. Having the already painful low framerate and cartoony jokes is already bad, but after a scene like that is... not how you do it.

The Monochrome scene was well-animated and adorable though. Amazing how much chemistry RWBY can get from its characters when it's not actively trying to signpost it to your face.

Speaking of signposting, the Bumbleby hug was good. Blake's tender voice calling Yang's name, and just them hugging on the beach is a really romantic image. and I'm a sucker for that kind of thing.

It kind of irks me more because my enjoyment of this ship is actively sabotaged by this show's own refusal to engage with it unless it's a weird combination of too-loud subtext and the fact it relishes in its own plausible deniability. I don't know what to say if there isn't a kiss or proper declaration of love by the end of this.

OK Goodnight doesn't miss, and they didn't for this OP song, Inside, either. I personally was super excited Casey was brought on in full force and her band's involvement was the singular thing that excited me about Volume 9. I have this opening on loop for hours now.

I loved how the Jabberwocky monster thing was animated, but part of me felt the design fell a bit short compared to how creatively it moved. I think if it went through another design pass or two to really bring out its more unsettling qualities it'd land even better.

But it was that thought that stirred up an iffy thought I had as I watched all the colourful characters and setting that was showcased in the opening and trailers. I know the whole point was to show a visual contrast by having everything be bright and whimsical but...

Part of me just kept thinking throughout this episode, and I suspect will keep me thinking throughout this Volume... why couldn't have all the Ever After creatures have been sentient talking Grimm instead?

Like, we don't know the canon explanation for the Ever After yet, but assuming that anything just goes here... I would have been really interested in the idea that this was a parallel world where benevolent Grimm exist and formed their own chaotic but intelligent societies. It could be an interesting exploration into the nature of Grimm, which by extension includes Salem's nature and how the heroes could not only defeat her dark nature, but perhaps understand and reason with it as well.

I just keep looking at the visual direction they decided to go with this world and can't help but think:

"Damn, Grimm mice would be cool, and a lot more visually distinct and marketable/merchandisable to RWBY fans too. Imagine Ruby making friends with a cute little Grimm? Something she's been trained to kill since forever? How weird but interesting would that be?"

"Damn, this glitchy monster thing would be way cooler as a Grimm, wouldn't it? Imagine it writhing like that and talking, but with the trademark glowing eye trails and miasmic black smoke trailing from its limbs."

"Damn, that Wonderland smoking caterpillar dude in the opening would have looked cool as a Grimm, maybe along the vibes of Koh the Face Stealer from Avatar?"

"Damn, the Cheshire cat as a teleporting Grimm feline would be cool. Its design might be a lot less polarising too since a lot of people think it hurts to look at. Some Grimm like Geists are already pretty formless to begin with."

And at the root of all these what-ifs, it just all comes back to the same question that I think sums up a lot of RWBY's problems:

"Damn, this show would be cooler in all these little ways if it just played into the ideas that made it cool to begin with."

[malicedafirenze]

I just finished re-reading Silver Under Nightfall by Rin Chupeco and I'm going to make it everyone's problem because this book is so good and so underrated

I wrote a more conventional review of this book after my first readthrough this April, so if you want more concrete info and slightly less incoherent gushing, head over here please.

What to love about it

SO many of the fantasy romance books I read end up being unsatisfying to me because they either have a main romance that feels cheap because it moves too fast, prose or writing style that grates on me, or because plot and action just take a total back seat because the MCs need to get their rocks off.

Not this one. I mainly gush about the romance (because hello it's a bisexual MMF throuple and the dynamic especially between MMC and the male love interest is deliciously hostile for much of the book) but a core reason for why the romance in this book works so fucking well for me is because there's so much quality going on all around it.

The plot is about a strange new species of vampiric creature that's attacking people and villages. In examining what's going on, main character Remy gets involved with two powerful vampire nobles and finds out disturbing things about himself and his family. (keeping that very vague for spoiler reasons)

The MC is a vampire hunter who's excellent at what he does but looked down upon by everyone for a variety of political and gossipy reasons, he's also traumatized by a shitty af father and the dangerous expectations/situations that shitty father has laid upon him.

Relationship dynamics

Remy meets the two love interests very quickly in the story, and realizes to his dismay that the two of them are engaged. He initially dislikes Malekh, king of the third court of vampires, but is infatuated with Xiaodan, his fiancee and heir to a vampire court herself. In travelling with them, his emotions grow more complicated.

Between Remy and Malekh, you have these enemies-to-lovers vibes, though they're mostly on the same side but pissed about it. There's an exchange between them later in the book that goes “It’s just that you’re always so hard to read, I never know if you want to fight me or fuck me” - “it’s both, Pendergast. It’s always been both.” and man if that's not a fucking mood, I love it.

The book isn't the spiciest thing I've ever read, but it has a handful of incredibly hot and detailed scenes, that includes some cruel teasing, some very desperate mutual blood drinking, some angry flirting while sparring and more. All in all you know what the three of them are getting up to but also I may need to write fanfic for a few 'missing' scenes.

Reach and readership

Silver Under Nightfall has a bit over 3000 ratings on goodreads. The only other bi poly vampire book I also know and love (A Dowry of Blood by S.T. Gibson) has over 40'000.

Some of the popular queer fantasy books of recent years like The Unbroken and The Jasmine Throne have 9k and 22k respectively. I am not sure why Silver Under Nightfall has not gotten anywhere near as much love or attention as these books - it'll be a complex combo of marketing reasons and mainstream appeal I assume - but I cannot help but want to shout from the rooftops that SUN deserves so much more love and attention than it's getting.

For me, SUN sits perfectly in that sweet spot where it is more "fantasy with a romance subplot" rather than "romance" but also doesn't skimp out on the sexy bits. And I personally absolutely fucking love it for that, but

So there you go: READ THIS BOOK IT IS SO GOOD PLEASE. Is it perfect? No probably not. On my reread I noticed a few stylistic hiccups and I find the pacing works much better in the first two thirds of the book, with everything happening a bit fast in the last third or so.

Is it for everyone? No probably also not. But if well written queer poly sexy vampire romance with a mostly serious tone but dry humor appeals to you as a concept, you absolutely should read this one.

Also if there's anything like it - as mentioned, A Dowry of Blood is the only thing I know of that comes remotely close imo in terms of being a queer poly sexy dark vampire story - then please do tell me about it.

If you've read this book and want to talk about it, my DMs are always open <3

[tinyozlion]

Suggested Policy of Ignoring Stupid Shit

(the following section contains *Minor Spoilers*)

[ -Back to Part 03]

Everyone in this show is too goddamn young. They are simply too goddamn young. This is my hill, and I will die on it. 

It’s one thing to have a cast full of troubled but highly marketable teenagers in a show aimed at teenagers– it’s a whole other thing to try and convince me that all the influential *adults* in the series are under the age of 25. These are characters who we are to understand have led full lives, and had active careers in the military before the start of the show– you know, during their literal infancy. 

For example: Treize is meant to be 24 at the start of the series. He’s a colonel in the Alliance Military, a position that usually requires about 20 years of service to attain. He also has a daughter that I’ve seen quoted as being either 7 or 9 years old. It doesn't matter which is true, because there is no positive integer you can subtract from 24 that makes a good age to father a child. (…Alright, okay, in the great variety of human experience, that’s an exaggeration.) What’s of more significance is that at the time, Treize was an instructor or sergeant in the military academy, in charge of a squad of mobile suit cadets. 

So which is a more reasonable age for that scenario, 15 or 17? Keep in mind that the minimum age requirement for enlistment in the US army is 17, with parental consent. 

--Ah! But this is Animé, where only teens and pre-teens are fully alive. Those who turn 20 become old, and venerable, able to draw on the rich wisdom of experience that comes with being not quite of legal drinking age. And if you’re over 30 obviously you must fade and go into the West, your time has ended. No, no, better to have characters too young for the events of their own lifespan to have occurred than to suffer an OLD PERSON on television.

--Up with this, I will not put. It is bullshit. Please join me adding *at minimum* two years to everyone’s age, up to a suggested 5-10 years to the age of adult characters– if ONLY so that we don’t have to stretch our suspension of disbelief to include a preternaturally articulate 4 year old receiving full military honors. 

___

Gundam Wing would like us to believe that everything in the series happened over the course of a single year. MS Gundam probably set the precedent for this with its One Year War, but MS Gundam also lets people get older and change hairstyles and be subject to the effects of linear time. While Wing certainly had more constraints on its production length, it really would have benefited from some believable time-skips.

…Mind you, after 2020 I think we can all attest that A LOT CAN HAPPEN IN ONE YEAR. But that doesn't account for all the downtime that happens in Gundam Wing-- times when everyone had to lay low, times where characters had to heal from massive physical trauma, times where everyone was stuck in a stalemate waiting to see what happened next, times during which whole space battleships had to be built and global armies had to be mustered.

On this I call bullshit a second time. In addition to giving the characters more realistic ages, we should also be allowed to expand the time frame of major plot events, based on vibes. 

--That concludes my suggestion. May this policy serve you well, in this and other fandoms!

[typotripprr]

hey i'm bored so i compiled a list of random cytus ii trivia things i found from others or discovered myself (this is a long post)

there's spoilers but it's like 5 things. but be careful anyway

if you listen reallllly closely to joe's character menu theme you can hear the joez cafe theme behind it it's pretty neat

neko and xenon's ring tones are their respective character menu themes

^ additionally, in her dlc logs her ringtone is her dlc character theme, while in the main story logs it's her normal one

credence (cherry's list) and phantom razor (xenon's list) both appear in neko's dlc logs when she goes to under velvet, which is also why those two songs have glitch charts for them

sunday night blues appears in neko's dlc logs, making it the only black market song to appear in the story

(an obvious one, but) sairai is a secret song in xenon's list, which is why the deemo x cytus ii collab for alice's character has him in it

^ the same is true for fur war, pur war and conner, fwpw appears in conner's list and conner appears in hans' story

i remember this one thing about nekosaikou's real name being bob but i'll have to find it. it's there though.

the first song in ilka's list, alb (meaning white), likely represents ilka. the last song you unlock (as of 4.8) on ilka's list is noir (meaning black) which also likely represents violette

re:the end -再- -> re:the end -cy- -> re:the end -cytus-

eternity (silaver ft. nathan brunley) has like 6 different versions of it for some reason but from what i can tell only 4 are available

atonement (sihanatsuka) is unlocked in Cam_KyuuLab_698_06_02, which is when phoenix atones for all the things he did to nora (breaks down sobbing)

as of 4.9, graff.j has 95 songs. rayark, stop giving him more. we do not need more collabs (except arcaea collab we'lltake that)

although conner himself is not directly on his song select background, there is a prosthetic arm and eye on it. weird.

speaking of conner, cherry says that she thought he was in his 50s, while conner is actually 35. so he's old but not really old

vanessa technically has the most original songs considering that all 22 of her songs are made specifically for cytus ii

sta composed incyde, though under the alias of YbeLL. if you reverse it to get LLebY, then convert it with a caesar cipher with a left shift of three, you get "II by V". ii for cytus ii (presumably) and v for well. vanessa

vanessa also has a song named ii-v which is 2:05 minutes long

neko's favorite dish is a meat stew that include pork belly, meaning domesticated farm animals like pigs likely still exist in this time

but also stray animals without chip collars get taken away by the admins (a.r.c. or something) so hmmmmmm

a more well known fact, but kai is directly based off of kiva

that one 'i am lady' post by txpazolite in game is based off a tweet made by t+pazolite

if you look at the bottom left corner of conner's bad end background you can see some pills scattered around, so maybe he takes medication of some sort?

^ also he kept a photo of sasha hidden on his desk

a.r.c. kinda just falls out of the sky in the bad ending (as shown in aroma's, cherry's, and xenon's bad end backgrounds)

as seen in his oa area, robo's room in node 08 has a window that's overlooking a.r.c. (which is also absent in his bad end background)

(recently and accidentally rediscovered) e00 has some pretty fucked up dialogue when going through the free characters' oa spaces after completing every oa task (personal most-fucked-up for me are "E00200... It's just a serial number, it's not my name." and "The cost? Probably the loss of emotions and... the ability to communicate with others.")

that's everything i have so far, i may or may not find more in the future but who knows anyway have a good day/night and bye

[potatotalksculture]

More thoughts on Disco Elysium

[SPOILERS for Disco Elysium ahead.]

I’ve been dubbed the “pretentious wanker” for internalizing the though about a art gallery with a name similar to some chocolate bar out of Charlie’s Chocolate Factory. I was hoping for something absurd or maybe written in an imaginary language. What I got is a (quite accurate) critique of the modern, high class art world. Like in Velvet Buzzsaw. Or the latest season of You, if you’re feeling pretentious.

And also my “Actual Art Degree” consists of colorful invectives. Nothing is good enough for the Art Cop. He criticizes everything. Everything is mediocre for him. Why is he like that? Is he part of the milieu at the Art Centre? Or was he never allowed to enter and that made him bitter?

I learn the philosophy presented in Disco Elysium as I go. At the beginning you wake up as a dude who knows nothing. He’s literally and metaphorically NAKED. You, the player, know as much about the character, the identity, the story, the cloths and the surrounding of this protagonist as much as he would know himself. Isn’t this a perfect starting point for an RPG?

I know nothing about RPGs. I never played any kind of pen and paper, nor did I engage in similar games that include creating an identity for your character and sticking to it. In theatre, at work, I prefer the logistics and managing over imagining stories and creating meanings. Communication is hard enough as it is. No need to over complicate it by including made up stories and character traits in it.

This are two reasons why Disco Elysium was perfect for me. (I have finished playing the game as I’m writing this post. The origin of this post is a draft I’ve written sometime while still playing.) I DIDNT HAD A CLUE HOW TO PLAY THIS KIND OF GAME. I was as lost as the protagonist.

As I moved through the world, interacted with figures and objects, I was learning the philosophy implemented into this game. Without looking into the fandom.com wiki, I think about communism and capitalism. There’s also moralism. And some form of neoliberalism, I think. Somewhere around the first or second in-game day I got the task to Rebuild the Communism. Me? The guy, who assumes he’s a detective but is not completely sure and who just some hours ago has found his second shoe? Sure, comrade! Let’s go! But wait! Now I also have some moralist pants on and… we’ll, get points for saying this or that.

The points system was the first thing that made me think more about the representation of the four different school of though within the dialogues. Capitalism is about making money, having money and seeing people though their monetary value on the market. Neoliberalism is about wanting the state to leave the people alone. Moralism is about being somewhere in the middle and trying to keep everyone calm. Communism is about sharing everything and eating the rich. Easy! Or is it?

As I was progressing, I kept losing track of the thoughts. I felt really drawn to the whole rebuilding communism concept, as a strong anti-capitalist myself, this school of though was closest to my own believes. But as soon as it was about violence and killing, I took a step back. This was not in sync with me. And since that’s how I’ve chosen to play the game, I started choosing the less violent, more non-descript dialogue options. This has brought me onto the Moralintern though. This got me thinking:

In real life, when your looking for a moral compass, it’s hard to a stick to one principle. Cuz usually the universal definition of the chosen philosophy is not completely in harmony with your personal believes. So more often that you’d like to you are confronted with some personal inconsistency. And with every consistency you learn something about yourself. The most of it being: You are not black and white. And so is the world you live in. Inconsistency is part of the reality. Evolving is part of being a human.

(Interestingly enough, when you interact with the books about Dick Mullen often enough, you enable a new perspective on the world. A black and white perspective, which proposes an insightful contrast between the real world and the fiction. You are not a fictional detective with all the evidence in front of you. And you also contradict yourself.)

And also: no philosophy within the game is only good or only bad, or rather explicitly positively or negatively coded. There’s the “lucky” racist that was supposed to grant wishes. There’s the brutality and bloodthirsty of communism which was supposed to be about sharing. There the brutality of the humanistic Dolores Dei, who was trying to do some people not human.

[vio-starclad]

My most recent read book was written by our own @dadpat-tactual and, full disclosure, he told me that it was in a fairly unedited state and that he was working on revisions.

Now I know how I am about editing my own work, and thought that could take eons if he's anything like me, so I picked it up anyway.

I do think it's appreciable as a series of vignette sections amongst a fairly standard post-apocypse backdrop. But I must be honest to say that there's not really enough going on here. There seems to be a sequel in the works, and a prequel, but I really would have liked a tighter narrative right Here.

Spoilers and extended thoughts be ahead here:

I don't think our main character was actually ever described, nor was our villain. I'm imagining him with a hook for a hand because that's fun! We got more description for a random bartender! Our hero also has very little agency and seems to just stumble into events or be put on paths by other characters. He wants to regain his lost memories but has no good ideas on how to retrieve them and that desire hardly comes up anyway.

He's also a bit of a textbook Mary Sue or Gary Stu in this case, wherein he's great at fighting and every woman is interested in him, completely altruistic with no faults.

There was a section at the docks that, as far as this book was concerned, was inconsequential, only existing to introduce Gentle Crew. Their raid on the ship seems to be the story our author really wanted to tell.

There's also a tone issue where everything is quite serious but also constantly jokey. We got to a Lynyrd Skynyrd reference and I was like okay hell yeah let's get silly. I was full on expecting our gruff manly men to bond over country rock and break out into an impromptu karaoke session. It would have been hilarious. But no they just have a bar fight, which also doesn't serve any overall narrative purpose. Maybe someone knew who Evan was and had this fight staged to eliminate him? Just an idea.

Brother it's okay, get silly! It's an apocalypse, have fun with it! Let our heroes be larger than life. Carl scratched the surface at least. Everybody thinks Evan is a super soldier so just let him be Solid Snake-like. Let him be near superhero levels, why not?

Evan sleeps with Ellie after knowing her for like a day and later she says they're just friends and I'm over here like "WOW savage" but he doesn't react at all? Okay.

There's a scene where everyone in the market is taking shelter from a hail of bullets, including the faceless mayor. And our freedom fighter Ellie is in view of him and doesn't shoot him in the confusion? I guess she's unarmed for some reason or doesn't have a shot. Which would be fine but that needs to be stated. And later there's a plot to snipe him as he makes a speech and I'm thinking why not a Claymore pointing towards him in the podium? That makes so much sense. It doesn't have to work but somebody should have thought about it. It's safe and logical. And he's kinda made into a joke when he tickets a woman for jaywalking??? He's also out on the town by himself walking into a house with people who want him dead and they do nothing but chat with him.

It's an okay book.

This isn't a callout post; I hope it doesn't read like one. Our author is a good man this story is just half-baked as is.

[nobossinc]

Give Value, Retain Leverage

The Strategy Behind Giving Value

Let’s talk about something that often trips up new entrepreneurs: how to give value to your audience without “giving away the farm”. You know what I’m talking about—the fine line between offering something useful and holding back just enough so they still have a reason to pay you.

Spoiler alert: You don’t have to give everything away for free to be seen as valuable. In fact, you shouldn’t.

So how do you attract and engage your audience while protecting your expertise and products? The answer is both simple and strategic—you give value. But not just any value. You share enough to build trust and establish authority, keeping your core products and services reserved for paying customers.

Why Giving Value Matters

Consumers today are overwhelmed with choices. They’re not just looking for a product; they want to connect with a brand they trust. In this day and age, no one is buying from you if they don’t trust that you’re the expert.

But here's where it gets tricky. Many new entrepreneurs think the only way to prove their expertise is to give everything away for free. Big mistake! You should absolutely provide value, but you don’t have to hand over your entire business on a silver platter. There’s a strategy involved. When you offer valuable content, tools, or insights without asking for anything upfront, you start building that connection. You become a go-to source for information, which is a strategic approach to marketing your business.

The Strategy Behind Giving Value

The key to giving value is understanding what your potential clients need to make a decision—and giving them a taste. But notice the word “taste.” You’re not serving up the whole feast. They need to know enough to realize you’re the expert, and what you offer can solve their problems. But the how? That’s what they pay for.

Examples to Consider:

Checklists, Ebooks, and Guides: you can provide a checklist on “12 Steps to XYZ Your ABC” but don’t detail how to implement every step. That’s for paid products. So you need to learn how to use tools like Canva to create these freebies.

Vacancy Cleaning Services: I offered new property management clients free debris hauling from lockouts in my old cleaning business. This created value and incentivized them to hire me for the real moneymaker—cleaning, painting, and prepping the unit.

Accounting Consulting: I’d give potential clients a glimpse of what their books could look like, and why that matters, but the detailed cleanup process? That’s what they hired me for.

Online Bakery: I tried to include something useful and relevant to the baked goods they ordered with my baking business. The Dollar Store was great for grabbing affordable freebies like cake cutters, pie cutters, tongs, serving trays, or themed party plates and napkins. This simple gesture encouraged repeat business without significant cost, as customers looked forward to collecting free party supplies.

The possibilities are endless—I couldn’t name them all if I tried! If this topic excites you, join the waitlist below and let me know you’re interested. We’ll schedule a live, on-demand session on our calendar just for this!

Communicating Value

To effectively communicate value without devaluing your paid services, consider these approaches:

Educate Without Over-delivering: Provide enough insight without revealing your entire process.

Show, Don’t Tell: Use storytelling to demonstrate expertise, showing potential clients the results they can achieve with your help.

Offer Tangible Teasers: Include samples or add-ons that surprise customers and entice them to return.

Create Problem-Solving Content: Address common questions, keeping deeper insights for your paid offerings.

Show ‘Em the Results, Not the Process: Illustrate the potential of your services without giving away the entire methodology.

Giving Value in Your Business

So here’s where you come in. How can you apply this strategy?

Consultants: Give your audience a clear understanding of the results they’ll get, but leave the detailed “how-to” for your paid services.

Service providers: Maybe you offer a small add-on to new clients. Something that solves a minor pain point but makes them realize they need you for the big stuff.

Product-based businesses: Throw in a little sample. It could be a new flavor, a new product, or a small accessory that complements their purchase.

Wrapping It Up

t’s all about giving them enough value to see your worth but still keeping the premium solutions for those who are willing to invest in your expertise. The beauty of this strategy is that it positions you as the expert without devaluing your products or services. You’re giving value by showing your audience what’s possible with your help—but not showing them how to get it done on their own. They get the appetizer - You’re selling the entrée.

Let's Talk Live!

If want to get together and dive deeper into how to use this strategy to grow your business, join our on-demand workshop 'The Strategy Behind Giving Value'. We’ll walk you through actionable ways to increase your visibility, establish your authority, and strategically boost your sales—all without giving away your secret sauce. JOIN US!

The Strategy Behind Giving Value

Final Thoughts

Otherwise… the next time you’re thinking about how to give value without giving away the ‘farm’, ask yourself: What can I show them that will build trust and make them want more?

When done right, this value-driven strategy does more than just generate goodwill:

It builds your reputation as an authority in your field.

It establishes trust, showing you genuinely care about your audience’s success.

Most importantly, it funnels prospects toward your paid services because they’ve seen firsthand the value you can offer.

Instead of spending time and money on another ad that might get ignored, this approach builds relationships—relationships that are far more valuable than a single sale.

[agent-oo-z]

Time for more BG3 Tav talk

Standard spoiler warnings apply, as this is more post game head canons for my girl Atavia and her collection of strays friends

Ok so notes for how some side quests resolved for Tavi. Biggest one is that I saved all the gondians! And I mean ALL of them! Even the ones in the basement of the forge who have a tendency to stand right next to the watchers right as they explode. Barcus is now head of the ironhands and they are working with the gondians. Saved Valeria and as many of the Bhaal targets as possible. Got rid of the abusive postal service kennel master. Saved the spawn and sent them to the under dark. Cal and Lia moved in with Rolan post Lorokan. Saved lady Janeth and her husband, also freed the zombies by killing the mummy lord whose name I’ve forgotten. Saved all possible hag victims(including the little girl) and killed ethyl. Saved the people at the fish market from the saughines(spelling?)

Basically. Just about everyone in the lower city either was saved/helped by Atavia or knows someone who was. So when she eventually turns back up in the city for whatever reason, she’s super confused as to why everything seems so cheap. Because the people of the gate know she values her privacy(she bribed just about everyone possible to ensure no statues/monuments/paintings/murals/etc went up that depicted her appearance until after she was dead) they all just treat her like any random traveler but secretly give her insane discounts. When she realizes what’s going on she starts leaving “gifts” and “tips” to counteract the discounts because she doesn’t need the money and doesn’t want it either. Astarion whines about it but also leaves tips and gifts of his own because he’s always been a softy at heart.

Whenever Tavi makes appearances as “the hero” she intentionally changes her appearance without casting disguise self. Learned how to make convincing fake scars and tattoos, she has a wig, she wears makeup, has a specific “hero wardrobe” of clothes she’d never wear that have padding to slightly change her silhouette, the whole nine yards. This is mostly so that any nobles/government people she meets won’t be able to identify her in plain clothes/her adventuring gear. If she used a spell it would be obvious, enough information about her appearance is common knowledge that she can’t disguise self as a different race, but she can altar things like her hair length/color or her number of scars etc. so she does. This also serves the double purpose of allowing her to take down/steal from corrupt nobles/officials without being implicated because the only nobles/officials who know what she really looks like are the Ravenguards, Florick, and a handful of Flaming Fists.

Animals. Tavi makes so many animal friends throughout the game, and I assume basically every where she goes she does the same. Tara is one of the only creatures that doesn’t instantly bond with Tavi. Tressyms aren’t exactly standard animals tho so it’s not entirely surprising. Tavi and Shadowheart swap animal stories every time they get together. I also choose to believe that scratch went to live with Shadowheart post game because they should live together.

The Harpers often get “anonymous tips” about various goings on from Tavi. She doesn’t ever officially join their ranks but she knows how to spot them and also knows that they’ll back her up in a fight if she needs them to. Jaheira teases her about it constantly.