#like I am with all video games 🤪

[sadiecoocoo]

I love Miami Morty but I hate how sexualized he is… it makes it feel weird to include him in one of my fics :/

[strewbi]

I just feel like all of this Zagreus is incompetent slander is because you didn’t keep playing the game after you beat the first final boss round, or after the true ending. Because he GETS competent and respected. He LEARNS the harp. Even his dad who literally can only love him a limited amount respects him.

[rosapexa]

"Why tf am i wearing a Minion shirt!?!"

Me: "Because i was too lazy to change my mod folder to Vala's mods (who would have loved that shirt tbh). I'm sorry, Lexa, i love you, please don't kill me!"

Everyone seems to start to mod these days, which is awesome. And i'm trying too.

The "depressing" thing is, everyone seems like "Yeah, i wanted to mod so i simply did and here's something totally cool!".

And i? Well i put a Minion (i mean i personally love Minions!) on a shirt and made Lexa wear it. And now she is probably thinking about several ways to kill me 😳

And this is probably already the peak of my modding career.

While i read guides, play around with Wolvenkit, read more guides, the only thing that happens is, that i feel dumber every time i try to understand things 🙄

I mean i even struggle with things where the suppossed skill level is "the ability to read" 😒 It's probably a combination of being exremely stupid clueless with stuff like this (main reason tbh), but also a language issue. Cause while my english (2nd language) is not that bad and i get along in normal conversations, reading and understanding these kind of guides turns out to be quite tough.

Also i'm more the watch and try type. Therefore to everyone who put a modding for dummies video out there, thank you!

So to all the new modders, who just do stuff and put out their cool mods:

You're awesome! 💜

But i'm jelaous of you! 😠

And to alle the experienced modders, who basically create a whole new game:

I don't even know what to say to you wizards! 💛

So this picture describes my modding experience so far pretty good 🤪

Am i giving up already? Honestly i don't know. But for now i'm awkwardly semi proud of my Minion shirt 😂

[ruminate88]

This made me tear up and smile so big:

I’m a whole wife to someone and I have sorta pushed him back a little bit to give myself room and he’s allowed it but hasn’t ran away from me 😮😮😮 wow. I’ve been moody, distant but still trying to be close, I don’t feel him and go numb yet I’m fully aware of my feelings!!!!! I’ve been privately watching and reading content on emotional abuse. I’ve been journaling and making music about everything I went through in my last 3 relationships. I’ve prayed and prayed AND PRAYED to God. I’ve told myself “you don’t even need a man. You only need God.” Even though I HAVE A MAN!!! wooooow in all my past relationships, I was obsessive and anxiously clingy. I begged Andrew to love me and be with me. I was his doormat and I worshiped at his feet. I kissed his butt so much it’s no wonder I’ve been physically a wreck. Losing hair, losing weight and almost losing my complete mind 🤪🤪 woooow I’ve come sooooo far. I respect my husband and I think he’s the “real deal” but he’s not perfect and I have tried to lean on him in the start of our marriage but he sorta treats me like “oh, do it yourself” ahhh scary!!! I know I was my family care taker through all of my teenage years and my 20s but I never took care of myself before 😓 my husband has triggered me so much yet he’s pushed me into this weird space where I’m forced to deal with my inner wounds!!!!!! So I’ve spent soooo much alone time when my hubs is at work and when he’s playing his video games, just thinking and reading. Writing and examining myself!! My husband does not ask “how are you” yet he sometimes gives this look like “I know”. I can’t explain it. I don’t know what he knows but dude I’ve never been in a relationship like this where he just has 0 drama & just treats me like “everything is cool” but yet he isn’t on top of me 24/7 yet he’s faithful to come to bed with me… he isn’t throwing crazy unrealistic comments at me but talks about “when we’re old” 🤔🤔🤔 This is the best and most foreign relationship I’ve ever had!!!!! I feel like I’m “one” with him, yet I feel independent and I’ve never felt that way before. I feel empowered for the 1st time cuz in all my other relationships, I felt 100% controlled & threatened with jeslousy. Idk I’m so like “what is this????????” My hubs NEVER acts jealous, he treats me like his equal!!!! My head is trying to constantly comprehend this new and healthy territory plus learn how to live in this peaceful environment!!! I am grateful for where I’m at, I just don’t have any idea what’s to come of it or who am I gonna be in the next year?? Wow I’m changing so much it’s crazy but I know it’s powerful 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

I have God to thank for giving me my husband so quick. I was in the middle of Andrew’s drama and turmoil when I found my husband… well, he found me actually & scooped me up! (Clearly God sent) Now let me come back in a year & compare this to there!!

[daisymae-12]

Bold All That Apply

Thank you for the tag @cha-melodius I had a fun time !! 🌞 includes ramblings because, as usual, I cannot shut the fuck up and I'm an over sharer, sorry in advance 💀

APPEARANCE: i’m under 5’5” // i wear glasses/contacts // i have blonde hair // i prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // i have one or more piercings // i have at least one tattoo // i have blue eyes // i have dyed or highlighted my hair // i have gotten plastic surgery // i have or had braces // i sunburn easily // i have freckles // i paint my nails // i typically wear make-up // i don’t often smile // i am pleased with how i look // i prefer nike to adidas // i wear baseball hats backwards

Ramblings: I used to need glasses 24/7 but I hated them so this year I was over it and just went fuck it and got night contacts so now I need nothing during the day !!! Absolutely LIFE CHANGING. Also I've never dyed my hair but I get a lot of people assuming I have. A friends mum refuses to believe me and straight up accuses me of lying?!?! The other week my SIL asked me where I went to get my hair dyed and I'm like bruh this is my natural colour you've known me for 11 years 💀

HOBBIES AND TALENTS: i play a sport // i can play an instrument // i am artistic // i know more than one language // i have won a trophy in some sort of competition // i can cook or bake without a recipe // i know how to swim // i enjoy writing // i can do origami // i prefer movies to tv shows // i can execute a perfect somersault // i enjoy singing // i could survive in the wild on my own // i have read a new book series this year // i enjoy spending time with friends // i travel during school or work breaks (if i can afford it) // i can do a handstand

Ramblings: I quit my architecture job 5 years ago to be a full time artist/illustrator ✌🏻 (haven't actually been working these last two years because reasons but I'm going to art/create/work again next year woooo 🤪) You know in hindsight maybe turning my hobby into my job isn't all that great 😂

RELATIONSHIP: i am in a relationship // i have been single for over a year // i have a crush // i have a best friend i have known for (more than) ten years // my parents are together // i have dated my best friend // i am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // i have a long distance relationship // i am an only child // i give advice to my friends // i have made an online friend // i met up with someone i have met online

Ramblings: Can't believe I'm saying this but my husband and I only started talking in high school because a mutual friend needed the two of us to FAKE DATE to play a prank on another friend and then we started dating for real 💀 I cannot make this shit up. brb writing a fanfic based on my life 😂

AESTHETICS: i have heard the ocean in a conch shell // i have watched the sun rise // i enjoy rainy days // i have slept under the stars // i meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // i enjoy the smell of the beach // i know what snow tastes like // i listen to music to fall asleep // i enjoy thunderstorms // i enjoy cloud watching // i have attended a bonfire // i pay close attention to colours // i find mystery in the ocean // i enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favourite season 🍂

Ramblings: Surprise surprise I have nothing to say!

MISCELLANEOUS: i can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // i am the mom friend// i live by a certain quote // i like the smell of sharpies // i am involved in extracurricular activities // i enjoy mexican food // i can drive a stick-shift // i believe in true love // i make up scenarios to fall asleep // i sing in the shower // i wish i lived in a video game // i have a canopy above my bed // i am multiracial // i am a redhead // i own at least three dogs

Ramblings: These are really random?? I don't have three dogs but I would like a life-like groundhog statue to put in my garden. My extracurricular activities involve doing whatever my friend is into at the moment. Lately it's been tennis but I've made a lot of excuses so I've managed to escape that so far. (I do have my tennis racquet ready though! so maybe one day!) Now he's into lawn bowls which I'm actually intrigued by so I'm going to go do that next week 🤔

No pressure tags (also fyi you don't need to do the ramblings, i just added that 😂 but if you do I will 100% read it) @myheartalivewrites @heybuddy-drabbles @suseagull04 @cultofsappho @celeritas2997 @14carrotghoul @read-and-write- @gwiazdziarka @purgingmyemotions + anyone else who wants to do this really random tag game LOL

[jarateblog]

~ What Is This? ~

I am the entity known online as JarateChop or Jarate - They/them.

This blog is "jarateblog" because "jaratechop" was already taken by a now dead TF2 blog...

Blog Information

I have a blog on my website with posts that are more boring, personal, or technical than what I post on here.

Personal tag explanations:

#choppost - Posts related to my online presence

#jarchive - Archive of older material of mine

#jaratechef - Things I cook and like to showcase 😜

Everything else is generally sorted by artists, characters, series, or other general terms (like #fav, etc.)

Interests

Music is my life source and I am deeply rooted in '70s-'90s electronic. Some of my favorite bands/artists are...

Cabaret Voltaire

Gary Numan

Yello

Orbital

Squarepusher

Depeche Mode

Underworld

Kraftwerk

New Order

The Beloved

...AND SOOOOO MANY MORE!!

Help share the love by talking with me about them (feel free to tag/send me posts about those artists)! And... If it's not obvious, you'll spot me in a crowd wearing all black 🖤🖤

I've mostly fallen out of video games but I hold at least a passing interest in series from Capcom, Sega, Nintendo, and Irem.

I don't watch TV, but will watch the occasional movie with my bestie. I watch anime occasionally, as you'll discover with some of my most popular posts.

I read but am not well-read 🤪 give me a couple years to catch up.

What Do I Do?

Jack of all trades but a master of none: I occasionally doodle and play guitar, bass, keyboards, and program drums (no room for a real set...). Soon, I hope to have something I'm ready to present.

My background is in computer science, but I currently work in networking and audio engineering/mixing.

You should know my political opinions if you made it this far! If you need a reminder: pronouns, electronic music, a Tumblr account...

Wrap-Up

I wrote this bio because I felt like it, and to prove there's someone behind this Shard profile picture. If no one reads it, oh well! It's here anyways!

Thanks for reading, and stay groooooovy!

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hello dear!

I'm gonna be super weird, narcissistic and cheesey-as a therapist friend suggested, I'm going around announcing that May 7 is my birthday 🎂 and demand for gift words🤪😂 not to have a lonely birthday Again. Surviving the last turning around the sun wasn't easy for me and being away from all family and friends for last 10 years makes my virtual friends my only ones. I don't know How but I wish to celebrate it with you fandom buddies. And since nobody is following me I send it here 😅

Love you!

P.s. I've already got a Sherlock lock screen from a fanartist hehe🥰

Hey Nonny *HUGS*

Well, let me be the first to wish you a happy birthday, and I hope it goes well! I'm sorry you've had a shit few birthdays (I've have plenty in my 40+ years), so I do get feeling alone and feeling that you should get to feel special. I haven't really spent birthdays with people in YEARS (I'm talking 15 or so), but I know when you're young you want to feel important.

That said, we also can't go around demanding gifts either (kind of defeats the purpose of a gift, at least where I'm from); it honestly comes off as unpleasant and entitled. Sorry, but your friend is right, it is a bit narcissistic and really... tasteless (not the word I'm looking for but it's escaping me). I dunno. Kind of the whole "choosing beggars" analogy, if you will. I get it though, I really, REALLY do; as I said above, I don't have many family who still even remember my birthday (until Facebook notifies them, anyway), and my only immediate family I talk to is my sister who lives 8 hours away. Occasionally I'll see an aunt who remembered it was my birthday, but yeah, when you get to my age... birthdays just... become another day, my Lovely. I use it nowadays as an excuse to get a week off work, LOL. That's honestly the best hahah. I use it to go to get a whole-assed cheesecake and buy myself something fun, guilt-free, like a Funko Pop or a video game. Seriously, birthdays when you get to be my age are great.

Now, I WILL give you the benefit of the doubt and guess maybe English isn't your first language, so you may not know that the word "demand" comes off as entitled and harsh to native English speakers. It's bad form to "demand" things from people one doesn't really know. Maybe "hope for" or "wish" is the word you're looking for instead? Either way, being on anon is counter-productive to your end goal, lol.

I am happy that you have made it through another year, Lovely, I truly am, and I really do hope you have a wonderful May 7 💜🖤 I sadly have to work :P May all the most beautiful of rainbows shine on your birthday! <3

[fullsunstrawberry]

hey girlllll

okay first- the chap was SO GOODDDDD and i’m so excited for your nct reactions and texts!

also your tattoo with your mom is so cute 🥰🥰 and the designs for your seventeen ones are adorable so i’m sure your nct dream ones will be super cute as well <333

i want to get a tattoo but let’s be so fr i’m so scared of needles 💀 kao (bf) has a bunch of tattoos and they’re so cute but i personally would never - your so brave for thiss

also mother in law apologized thankfully so so more problems there :)

my life has been pretty boring tbhhh i’m living with kao rn but he’s pretty busy with his med school things rn so i barely see him 😢

i really need friends 😭

BUT ITS NOT LIKE I DONT HAVE FRIENDS my two ride or dies (yes we are a trio but we’ve known eachother since 2nd grade and there has been 1 argument that lasted 30 mins 💀) are literally so far away 🥲 missing them 24/7 but we have our weekly group facetime soon so 😋🤞

ugh life has been so boring recently fr i need a hobby asap

i feel like i’ve lost all my interests because i’m high school i would lterally do math for fun and that’s the last thing i need to do rn 😭 like sure i did. volleyball but where in nyc am i going to okay volleyball like be so fr rnnn

WNYWAY HOW ARE YOUUUU????? TELL ME EVERYTHING 😜😜😜😜😜

i have an obsession with these emojis i find them so funny

also my niece/cousin idk but she’s so like… IDKKK- she’s middle school high school age but i feel like i’m just on a whole different planet bc she’s so into everything like i need to keep up frrr

ANYWAY

make sure to drink lots of water and eat lots of good foodss- i love youuu 😜💓💓💓💓❤️❤️❤️‼️‼️‼️

also congrats on your blog growth! you deserve it fr

I got a bunch of nct random texts that I'm gonna post soon 🤪 but I gotta make some enhypen ones too cause my master list is lookin a little biased 😅

ahh thank you! i gotta hurry and get more kpop tattoos because my mom has more than me (she has two bts tattoos and wants a txt one)

i was terrified of needles but i had to get a bunch of blood work done when i was younger, so i’m a pro now 😤😤

if my partner had and tattoos i would color them in with markers if they had black and white ones

life’s been pretty boring for me too that’s actually why i made this account cause i used to have a tumblr way back and post on it but it became too hectic with my schedule…so i deleted it. but now i’m not really doing anything i love how hectic i post!! it gives me something to do and look forward to

i’m also in a friend group of 3 💀 but mine is kinda rocky because the other two always fight and im in the middle sometimes… but i love both of them and one of them might read this 🤪🤪

i still have lunch with them every other day in school but one of them is going to a different school and im gonna make sure we don’t drift apart 😤😤

most of my hobbies involve technology lol…

i like to make random webpages and of course video games, mostly sims or acnh.

But i love scrapbooking and i know a lot of people do it online now but nothing beats cutting up pictures and gluing it to a cute notebook or having a pen pal and decorating my letters

also photocard trading is fun and helps keep me busy

i’m glad the mil apologized because no one wants bad blood in a new marriage!!

i love using emoji’s because i don’t wanna sound boring when i’m writing and i can only use “T^T” so much

SAME! my cousin is younger than me and she makes me feel so old even tho i’m young! but she talks about tiktokers and celebrities i have no clue who they are nd half of the words she says, i’m like what?

tysm!! i’m surprised on how well my blog is doing, I love how many people have reach out to talk to me! It means a lot 😩❣️

don’t skip a meal!! 🥰🫶

[heeliopheelia]

The time has come, for me to reveal myself. *Proceeds to do an entire dance routine because I am dramatic*

Hey my love. So I've decided to take off my mask today and reveal myself. I have finally posted my first fic on Tumblr! The one with Jay! I would really appreciate it if you could read it once and critique it because I am in desperate need of critical talk (not my PTSD coming back)

Also DID YOU SEE Enha's insta post where they're dancing to criminal love? All I'm asking for is one dance practice video of the entire choreo. Because I'm hello? The perfect steps on beat. Jake and Heeseung being the finest people on Earth. SUNOO WRECKING ME SO HARD?????? Jakehoon's photoshoot was enough, how much more do you want to WIPE ME OFF THE FACE OF THIS EARTH?

How are you doing darling? I won at the arcade yesterday after I accidentally pressed some random buttons but my gf does not need to know that so now y'all can call me the Arcade Master.

- 💙 anon who has now been revealed *dramatic sound effects in the background*

OMG OMG OMG OMGGGG I'M LITERALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF A PARTY RN BUT THE SECOND I SAW THIS I LITERALLY BOLTED TO THE BATHROOM 🏃💨

I'm crying, hi babe!!! 🫶🩷 This is all so exciting to me I can't even 😭😭 I'D LOVE TO READ YOUR FIC and I'm gonna do it as soon as I get home (omfg now I can't wait 🤠)

AND I ACTUALLY JUST SAW THAT VIDEO COUPLE HOURS AGO AND I SCREAMED 🙆 Hoon literally stole the show fr BUT THEY ALL ATE SO HARD LIKE WHAT??

I'm doing so great, you're such a sweetheart for always asking 🤧🫶 Like I said before, I'm on a party rn but I'm actually the designated driver for the night so I'm as sober as a nun 🤪 I'VE NEVER BEEN TO ARCADE BEFORE BUT IT SOUNDS SO FUN I'M SO JEALOUS 😭 But I relate to you so hard bcs i usually suck at games 🤧🎮

I'M GIGGLING LIKE CRAZY IN HERE BABE

[daddy-socrates]

hey daddy socrates!

as i understand you did MA in philosophy, can i rant a bit in your ask box?

i did my BA in philosophy, now i want to do my MA in philosophy because i love it. but everyone tells me it's useless since this degree is unemployable.

idk, i guess i wanted to ask, what are your thoughts on this? i feel so depressed lately since it feels like i have to pick between a) something i'm interested in, passionate about and love b) something that will land me a well paying job. and it feels like b is more responsible choice but also that it will ultimately make me really miserable.

Okay so, I'm not gonna lie I also thought it was useless in undergrad. I had gone in initially with the aim of an English major and the education certification track (bc my school was quirky and wacky 🤪🤪 a cert for my state rather than a full major) but I found myself so enamored by the mushy-ness of philosophy that I stuck with it. Every time I asked a professor "so what can I do with this degree?" it was ALWAYSSSSSS "you can do ✨️anything✨️ :)" and I'm like, Gary that's not an answer (^':

Right so a lot of people take a philosophy degree (or two) and then go into law school or become a professor. I wanted to take some time to explore other options before committing to a second degree in philosophy and honestly I got about halfway through a school year away from it before I went crazy and applied for some classes at a nearby university. Backstory backstory backstory, etc. If you really want you can find the rest of that in my talking tag (#blah blah blah) if you want all the ramblings and complaints and the victories.

Getting back to your point though, when Gary said "you can do anything," he meant that the skills taught in philosophy - like critical thinking, deep reading, reasoning, recognizing fallacies, awareness of social and political history surrounding the "whys" behind the "whats" of individual beliefs and broader systems/structures - is almost universally adaptable. My mom said through my junior and senior years that those skills are always in wicked high demand, so philosophers are going to be good at whatever we decide to apply ourselves to.

But that's not fun. We know REAL fun! Sitting in a library basement drawing the ghosts out of dead texts and "Um, Actually"-ing them with our 21st century, likely more diverse perspectives :)

Have the others in your life picked out careers for you? Because I have a little list of things I came up with that are not rooted in academia but can use the skills and might help cast a wider net while still related!

Joining an activist organization, or a union organizing group

Political analysis

Editor (maybe for a philosophy journal?!)

Local office ethics board

Human resources is a related option to the above and seems to be in constant demand

It's a short list and definitely a work in progress, but they're just a few little ideas. Use your network!! Use them! Professors, classmates, alumni, friends, family of friends, etc! They may have insight into places you can't even conceive of yourself at this moment!

I did almost go for a job in HR with an environmental technology company but somehow got a job in costuming. Fuckin bananas, the chance of that. But it's wonderful, because it's a job I can leave at work, and once a week last semester I would leave a little early to do just one class. Working full time and being a super-small-part-time student has been uhhhh tricky but it's more or less worked for me to dedicate a few hours each weekend to doing the assignments etc. JUST a few. Sleep and video games and going outside are also necessary.

... But also, if you really want to commit to philosophical research or teaching philosophy (as I am now planning to do), then I say go for it. My current job is definitely not my forever-home, but ALSOOOOOO the idea of a "forever career" feels silly to me. If you are able to let yourself float a little bit from time to time, recognize that you can switch it up if you need to. My partner is currently in a floating spot right now and he's miserable about it, but there is something comforting about knowing that the training he is currently doing in the meantime while between jobs does not have to be the only office he will ever have to sit in.

If you choose to go ahead in philosophy, hell yeah!! Big fan, absolutely love that. If you decide to take a break like I did, try something else, even just for a little while, that's also great! It could be used as a sort of "See? I DID do other things" at your nay-sayers too >:)

WHEW lots to say, too much space allowed to say it. I hope some of that can help a little. Absolutely come back to rant more if you want!

[valictini]

Love getting "SnEaK PeEkS 🤪🤪" of totk spoilers in YouTube shorts thumbnails of people I don't even follow.

First of all, Fuck You for spoiling me but second of all, did the game leak? Like why tf am I seeing what looks like actual screenshots of it? Or maybe its in the leaked artbook? (Which I don't want to see btw)

Either way absolute asshole move, genuinely hope that Nintendo finds and bans these videos/channels.

It's one thing to discuss leaks and properly label the video as such, it's another to make your THUMBNAIL a spoiler

[alllofmylove]

We have a funeral to attend tomorrow and my MIL is watching the babies while we go. I am nervous about it. 😬 This will be the first time I've been away from both of them at the same time like this and she reassured me that she will be perfectly fine especially with her husband there to help but still a little nervous despite knowing they are going to have so much fun and be perfectly great. She offered to watch them earlier so we could have alone time and go out to lunch or something. I told my husband I was coming home to play video games for the first time since I was pregnant with my little big kid. I used to come home from the daycare and nannying and school and then just play for hours lolol (all of the sleep I deprived myself of 🤪) but it's been sooo long. Looking at a little more than an hour of junk food and video games and I have no regrets about it. 😆

[foxymoxynoona]

Hey it’s me again you’re favorite ghost🤪 I vanished but it’s currently 2 AM and I have a list on my phone of all the things I haven’t read and this makes for a perfect occasion to binge read all of them😀 Don’t want to bore you lol so I’ll try to be quick: Namjoon and Michele: YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE WRITTEN ANYTHING ABOUT THEM. NOW I WANT THE WHOLE STORY. damn. I’ve been waiting for so long to know what happened between these two. This is the perfect moment to say that I’m a *sucker* for “fwb” -ish tropes and honestly after the latest flux chapter I needed Namjoon’s POV so THANK YOU!!

A bouquet of flowers: I’m just very thankful every time I find out you wrote something starring yoongi. You’re probably the only writer that makes me read yoongi and not feel like he’s found something “out of character” (not that we know his character, but I hope you get what I mean lol). And his grandma being gone in Hawaii is so savage and chaotic she’ll always be my favorite 🤩.

The Mishka/JK cockring situation: hilarious. Poor naive Jk not even questioning why she was so snappy towards the vendor lol. Also around the time you published this I was in Treviso (not Dragon Age Treviso, but still!) so I may or may not have crossed paths with these two👀

Fae Jimin: I LOVE THE CONCEPT OF INTERACTIVE STORIES! Don’t know if you’re familiar with the game “Life is Strange” but I loved it and kind of reminded me of it. And both endings were kind of creepy tbh💀 also I loved the line “beautiful. Humanesque but definitely not entirely human, no mortal man could look like that” because that’s exactly how I would describe jimin in real life😅

And I just finished the jk and pippa wash the dishes Drabble and I only have one question, probably stupid but I’m curious: do women’s bodies after birth/nursing actually react like that when they hear a baby cry? I saw multiple videos on this topic on tiktok the other day (don’t ask why they popped up I have no idea lol) and now I read this so I’m like “wait is it all true??” Not that I don’t believe people’s experiences, I just don’t trust people on tiktok 😃

I think that’s all? Oh I have to read asunder but I’m waiting for more chapters to pile up because I realized every update I kept forgetting stuff, I introduce you to my short term memory 😃

Also two things (since I’ve been lurking on your Tumblr anyway👀): you took days off work to write?? You’re now my role model, what I aspire to be when I’m an adult (because I’m not, I’m still 12 didn’t you know?). I suck at taking time for myself🥹 show me your secrets. I also hope you’re doing well❤️ don’t stress!

And number two: Halloween is coming up! I read your kids costume ideas and they’re so cute😭❤️ I’m so jealous of every other part of the world when it comes to Halloween because it’s my favorite holiday here no one celebrates it here, apparently they are boring and care about Christmas🙄. Anyway, if you need ideas on your costumes I’ll be Yor Briar from SpyxFamily👀 (if my costume arrives in time. If not I’ll do what I did last year aka tied my hair in a bun, drew red lines across my face, called 🌚, gave her a red scarf and then went “boom Eren and Mikasa”😅)

🌸

Hot damn girl your novels are such a delight to read!

OK let's start with my favorite part of this, the question about physiological response to babies crying: yes! Caveat, all women are different, even between different postpartums can be different. But my experience and I heard this from many others too is that often especially with a newborn who's freaking out, the mother's body responds in a similar panic and it's much easier for the father to handle the screaming baby because he may not have the same response. For me, I would start shaking, heart racing, sweating, sometimes crying, just total overwhelm (also if you're nursing, sometimes your milk drops at the sound of a baby crying, not even your own.) Sometimes babies just cry, there's nothing even wrong, and it was unbearable at times. It got more manageable for me over time, especially once I was done nursing, but I definitely still have a physical response to my kids crying (even when I know they are perfectly fine!) I'll wake up from the dead of sleep at the faintest chirp (save me please I need to sleep.) When it was strongest, it definitely happened with other children too (though stronger for my own.) I could not watch a movie with a crying baby in it, I'd start freaking out. Hormones are crazy as shit.

Now onto the rest! I'm so glad you're enjoying all the other stuff. It's a lot to binge! Flux Namjoon will definitely get some more attention. I had actually hoped to start his collection a little earlier, so maybe i'll go backwards too. I just really want to do all the members justice, and it's sort of a sad arc with Michele but he'll get to the happier place he deserves 😊

Fae Jimin was great fun though I wish now I'd let myself write even more leading up. I love interactive fiction and have long wanted to do projects in that vein, blending my writing and my video game career. It's why I play around with the reader insert stories sometimes too. I hope to explore some more, although to really do what I want would be a massive undertaking, so probably not in the near future haha.

I'm so flattered you like my Yoongis!! I used to think he was the hardest member to write but lately I've just been really enjoying getting into his head as a character, I'm looking forward to writing more about him through drabbles and Owl Yoongi. Also I'm working on a Min Je-ni drabble from when she and her husband first married and it's being fun, I love that chaotic granny too, she's so not coming back from Hawaii.

Asunder will probably get easier to follow too once we're to their adulthood, because then there weren't be as much time jumping and meeting people and stuff. Lowlander was super condensed and told from an outsider's perspective so it was a lot simpler; Asunder has SO much world building, it's a lot to keep up with!

As for the days off, yes I did haha, Because I also suck at taking time for myself too! I never stop moving and doing things and had really gotten to a breaking point after such a rough transition to fall so I actually took 4 days off and portioned them out so some were productive and some were restful --which for me meant writing. I wish I could have had a few more days to like just watch TV shows or something, you could argue that writing is not truly restful and you would be right lmao. But it's what I wanted to do and it soothed my heart.

I hope you manage to still have some fun for Halloween. Your costumes sound fun! Yor is a great costume idea!! I really should put some effort into doing something this year. We did our first trick or treat tonight but we've still got 3 Halloween parties/trick or treats to do... Last year I only got to do one because of my surgery right before. Can't believe that's been a whole year!!

[monsterkong]

Behind the Scenes of My Life: Addressing the Rumors and More

Hello, fabulous readers! 🌺 I hope you’re all doing well and staying fabulous. Today, I’m peeling back the curtain and giving you a behind-the-scenes look at some of the most talked-about topics in my life. You’ve been asking, and I’m finally ready to answer. Let’s get into it!

Pregnancy Rumors: Here’s the Truth

First up, let’s talk about those pregnancy rumors. I’ve seen the comments, the DMs, and the speculations. So, am I pregnant? The short answer is no. 🙅‍♀️ Yes, my stomach may have looked a bit rounder in a recent video, but that’s just normal bloating, my friends! It’s nothing new—just a regular part of life.

However, I am excited to share that my husband and I are in the process of trying to conceive! 🤗 We haven’t told many people this, so you’re some of the first to know. It’s an exciting time for us, and I’m looking forward to the day when I can officially say I’m expecting. Wish us luck on this journey! 🌟

Did I Spoil ‘The Mole’ Season 2?

This next question has been driving me absolutely bonkers! 🤪 Did I spoil ‘The Mole’ Season 2? Some people seem to think I knew the results before the show aired, but let me clear the air—I did not. It was pure luck that I guessed the winner and the mole correctly. No inside scoop, no spoilers, just a lucky guess. 🎯

But someone didn’t believe that and started spreading rumors, telling the entire cast not to speak to me. Imagine how awkward that made things when I had to work with them for Netflix’s official podcast! 😬 But we moved past it, and I’m here to tell you that I had no prior knowledge—just a lot of speculation and a bit of good fortune.

The Painful Story Behind My Breakup

Now, onto something a bit more serious—what happened with my ex? 💔 This is a tough one, but I think it’s important to share. I was in a relationship with a guy who was really into gaming. I got into it to support him, and before I knew it, my channel was growing like crazy. Unfortunately, his wasn’t, and that caused some tension between us.

Things took a dramatic turn when I introduced him to a close friend of mine. She was supposed to help him with his photography, but instead, they ended up having an affair. She was married, he was my fiancé, and just like that, my world came crashing down. 😢 It was a painful time, and it took me a long time to heal from that betrayal. But I’ve moved on, and I’m in a much better place now.

Do I Have an OnlyFans?

Let’s clear up the OnlyFans rumors while we’re at it. Yes, I created an account, but it’s completely inactive. I did it just to secure my handle and prevent anyone from impersonating me. So if you’re looking for content, you won’t find it there! 😉

Who Had the Red Screen?

Remember that accidental red screen moment? It was Ryan! 🎬 For those of you who guessed it, good job! It was a bit of a mishap, but hey, these things happen in the world of reality TV.

Will I Be on Another Show?

And finally, the big question—will I be on another show? 🤐 I’ve had some interest from different networks, and while I can’t confirm anything just yet, it’s definitely something I’m considering. With ‘Squid Game’ Season 2 casting right now, who knows what the future holds?

Thank you for reading and for always being so supportive. If you have more questions, drop them in the comments below. And don’t forget to subscribe for more behind-the-scenes updates! 💖

#avori #themole #realitytv #qna #netflixseries #personalquestions

[ruminate88]

I’ve Not Wanted To Journal 😓 07/15/24 I’m SO irritated

had a interesting and eventful weekend. Both new and different but nostalgic and emotional…

but extra on edge and irritated today. Feeling awful. Just… idk. Why am I sooo irritated today??

This weekend I went to the older mall I use to shop at to play “Pokémon go” 😜 I only started playing the game with my husband cuz I’m trying so hard to connect with him and feel close to him. However, I haven’t shopped at that mall seriously FOR YEARS! Pretty much since I ended my friendship with Lori. 😣 Lori and I use to either hit the mall up OR the movies at least every Friday night unless we went to dinner… Lori was my BEST friend since 1st grade but in our 20’s the relationship began to feel very one-sided and her mom was becoming judgey and controlling. Always wanting to treat me like a child …. I had no choice but to remove Lori.

She was only replaced by Cody and Andrew. I also use to send Andrew snap chats when I was at this particular mall when we were “texting a lot”. Memories of that sucked too. I didn’t wanna be at that mall and yet I did because I use to enjoy shopping for fun. After Andrew and especially after covid, I don’t shop much. Pretty much never. I don’t feel comfortable spending money or getting stuff unless it’s food.

This past week I’ve been overly hungry!! I was craving lucky charms cereal 🤪 idk why that was so weird I went through two boxes worth. Haven’t ate cereal like that since I was a kid. I think I was just craving the sugar AND I have this delicious organic milk I buy it’s so good. I’m not a major milk drinker but I sure was this past week. HAH SO WEIRD!!!

anyway, I’m just wore out. Every video on TikTok is about emotional abuse. Every video on Snapchat is about quotes dealing with people who have endured emotional abuse. Doesn’t matter which app I’m on, it’s ALWAYS about emotional abuse… 😓😓😓 I can’t escape it and can’t escape the adds for “therapy” just saw one that was showing how they’ll take your health insurance to make therapy cheaper. 😭😭😭😭😭 WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?????? (I am so not comfortable to tell my family how I feel)

Lately TikTok is showing soooo many videos about “send your ex that text. Send him what’s on your mind and get it off your chest so you can sleep. Don’t be the bigger person.” 🥺😝😓 but why?? No…. I almost wish I didn’t find out about emotional abuse and I wasn’t journaling about what happened.

also 2 or 3 times this week I dreamt of Cody something I never do and woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t fall back to sleep!!!!!!!!!

I don’t feel like I’m healing today. I feel horrible and stuck. I feel like I’ll always think of Andrew 24/7 and “miss him” aka the mask he more when he’s mirroring me. Gah I don’t wanna miss that guy Andrew treated me so terribly why would I ever trust him or go back to him??

When I text this chat gpt and ask it questions about emotional abuse and my ex, it says “you may have unfinished business or unresolved feelings” and I ask it how to resolve the feelings or what the unfinished business could be and it says to talk to a trusted friend or therapist 🥺❤️‍🩹😝😝😝😝😝 I have neither right now.

Am I really stuck or is it supposed to feel this way??? Why, Andrew? Why do I feel so tied to you all these years later? What am I missing??

[unknwnxquantity]

What a privilege to type on my silly little screen. Have my silly little existential moments. Have my little spirals. Ponder on everything and everyone. While there’s ppl dying. No food no water no shelter. No peace! That’s so sad man. IMAGINE NOT HAVING A BED! No comfort! The worst possible things imaginable are happening at this very moment. At every moment. I always think to myself, “I wonder who in this exact moment is dying? Who’s having sex right now? Who’s experiencing the most life changing moment right now in this very moment?” I think like that too when I pass big apartments in the city or driving along the highways. I think I’m looking at hundreds of people in my peripheral vision that are blocked by the building walls. And then I wish I was like Superman and can see through the buildings to see what ppl are up to. What are people doing right now? Who’s living in their truth and who’s not? Whose heart is breaking? Are you fukking or are you making love? Do you love them, “love” them or are you thinking of someone else? How did you guys end up here together? Are you crying right now? Are you sleeping/napping? What are you dreaming about.. do you remember your dreams? Is it a life changing dream? Do you even pay attention to the hidden messages!! Or playing video games? What are you watching? What made you start watching that show/movie and how did it capture your attention? Why do you like it? What music are you listening to? Why are you listening to that particular song right at this moment? Did your friend put you onto it, is it a viral tiktok sound? Are you distracting yourself from the world around you? Are you missing an ex? Why do you miss them? Do you actually miss them or do you miss how they made you feel? Are you missing your mom? Your childhood friends? Are you missing the memories too?

The wars the killings. There are people that will never know peace and sanity a day in their life. CONSTANT living in fight or flight mode. Survival mode. High cortisol levels. How tragic is that? Yet we complain about our phones dying too fast, or our order being wrong. I hate thinking of all the disgusting and unspeakable ways of ppl (or animals which is even worse bc it’s usually bc of us) dying at this moment. Or worse, not dying and living with their incurable ailments. Imagine not being able to walk or breathe without assistance? Knock on wood man. I tell myself that the pain is temporary and they won’t feel it in their next life. That they’ll have a chance for a better life. Maybe they’ll return home. Maybe they’ll reach nirvana. Probably not, but who am I to say that? Maybe after their death here, their souls go to the spiritual infirmary (I forget which theory that is!!! Where souls go to this soul hospital almost omg I wish I could remember…. Okay I found it it’s in a book “journey of souls” by Dr newton), to recover from their deepest wounds. Wounds. I tell myself pain isn’t real for them (it is). Souls literally fight to come on earth!!! For that serious spiritual upgrade. It’s so hard to get on this earth. We don’t appreciate it. Now I wanna watch the soul Disney movie. I need to watch it again. (The irony of me being obsessed with h0llyw3ird and knowing the dark stuff/subliminals/programming from all our fav cartoons/shows/movies growing up… all the unspeakable things…. And yet my nostalgia is deeply rooted in them (like billions of others) talk about cognitive dissonance🤪)