#like I am physically sick

[icewindandboringhorror]

Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~

(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)

[satoruxx]

okay if you want something done you have to do it yourself. RHEYAAAA

help i’m imagining the first time you scratch wolf toji’s ears. I think it’d take some time to get there, easing gently into being in each other’s personal space and then even more time to be comfortable with being comfortable with casual, constant physical touch, like sitting next one another on the couch.

but somehow, some day, your hand is resting near or on his head during a movie or show. and almost instinctually, without realizing it, you’re gently drawing your fingers back and forth, lazily playing with the furry lil ears atop his head. would he freeze? melt? the internal confusion and conflicting feelings of being touched in a place that’s vulnerable to him, but wanting more— he’s just going nuts beneath your petting and you don’t even have a clue bc you’re so comfortable in is presence!!

sigh. please talk to me about this im going bananas

SAGEEEE ARE YOU INSANE??????? YOUR BRAIN MWAH MWAH !! i have a few scenes with ears scratches written out in future chapters too hehe :33

BUT YES YOU'RE ONE HUNDRED PERCENT CORRECT???????

wolf!toji is very reserved already. like i said in the other ask, i don't think he enjoys physical touch as much, and it takes a lot of time for him to get used to the idea that you don't have any bad intentions. even though he trusts you completely, letting you touch him in places that are so vulnerable is difficult. but casually, slowly, he starts opening up to it.

he also finds it very easy to let himself touch you??? like the very simple hand on your back as he squeezes behind you to reach the fridge. or the occasional ruffle of your hair in between his claws. as he starts becoming more comfortable with that i think he'll simultaneously open up to you touching him too.

he realizes how much he enjoys the feeling, but refuses to comment on it. even just the simple act of you almost dozing off against his shoulder has his head spinning.

so the day your fingers do accidentally wander, he swears he feels his brain short-circuit. it's so casual too—he doubts you even know you're doing it. he has gotten used to your hands in his hair by now, but this is new. you're so deeply engrossed in the movie you're watching, fingers absentmindedly tracing over the softer fur lining his ears.

your touch is so gentle, so caring—it takes him a second to realize that it feels good.

he just sits there, claws digging into the rug as he stares straight ahead with his teeth grit. the movie is playing but he doesn't know what's happening in it, too busy practically preening under your light touches.

his shoulders relax, his eyes feel heavier. it feels so natural it scares him a little bit.

he wants you to stop.

(he never wants you to stop.)

he hates the feeling.

(he has never felt something so pleasant in his life.)

he briefly wonders why you're touching him in the first place. he who is so dangerous, so scary, so utterly animalistic. but when he glances at you from the corner of his eyes, you look like you've never been more content.

(as usual, you are disgustingly sweet.)

normally the idea of being pet is gross to him, almost demeaning in a way. but this is different. this is so inherently innocent, such a blatant display of comfort and affection.

(he feels stupid as he leans into the touch, but makes no effort to stop himself.)

you brush over a particularly sensitive spot, and he cannot control the twitch of the muscle, ears flicking uncontrollably. as soon as the movement occurs, you're broken out of your focus, turning to look down at him.

"oh! sorry!" you flash him a sheepish smile and retract your hand, before your eyes settle back on the screen.

(and once again all he can do is internally curse his stupid instincts for getting in the way.)

[kenzan-brainrot-mp4]

Idk more random small details about the pyih ending that make me insane because I can't shut up about this stupid game:

Idk how deliberate this was from the translation team (and I have my own mixed feelings about the caption translations from more recent rgg games) but I really like the (potentially unintentional) double-meaning from Saejima saying "Guys our age are supposed to be smart enough not to go chasin' legends." You'd think that because the entire conversation revolves around and constantly repeats the words "dream/yume" (cough cough Yakuza 5) he'd say "not to go chasin' dreams", but I think by using the word "legend" instead he's able to refer to not only the legend of the treasure that everyone's been pursuing the whole game, but also the living legend himself, Kiryu Kazuma (in jp and eng he is referred to very often as a legend/legendary ("densetsu no ryuu/yakuza" - "legendary dragon/yakuza")). Not only was Majima chasing after the legend of some miracle treasure but he's also been chasing the "legend" that is Kiryu himself (something something idolization, something something Majima always wanting to bring back that strength and vitality Kiryu had at the peak of his "legend" days (see: yakuza 1 with Majima trying to fight Kiryu constantly to help him regain his strength, trying to especially hard to support him since yakuza 3), even as the chance of that happening dwindles, even if reality is literally telling him to his face that they can't go back to those days, that everyone's getting older and not what they used to be). Which imo makes Majima saying "Well, still just a dream in the end." all the more heartbreaking. It's resigned, not only to the fact that he'd never find that miracle fix to save Kiryu's life but also the fact that he can't, no matter how hard he tries, keep Kiryu around forever, that he can't keep up the image of the legendary Dragon of Dojima up for him forever. Idk I just think that was very cool and sneaky as hell if intentional, especially since they don't switch out the word "dream" for "legend" anywhere else in the conversation.

Saejima mentioning how Daigo said "Majima's runnin' around like he's forty again". Okay honestly I'm just putting this because I think it's funny that even while Daigo was going through his emo era and pissed off at Kiryu for "killing" his dad, he still remembers how enthusiastic/energetic Majima was over Kiryu all the way back in ~y1, even though we never saw him in that game. I mean it's painful as hell to think about now, considering the present day in-universe and what would end up becoming of that enthusiasm as the years went on but uh, hey.

Majima being so god damn deflective while Saejima's in the middle of revealing all his motivations for going to Hawaii. He says 3 whole lines during that part of the cutscene but it's all so Majima-like it hurts (this part's gonna be Long):

• "Told him that, huh?" (responding to Saejima recounting what Majima told Shigaki about not wanting to go to Hawaii) - Majima trying to act nonchalant/aloof while knowing what Saejima's about to start bringing up, trying to act that way even though we all know damn well that he remembers perfectly (and probably painfully) well how he acted/what he said before going to Hawaii, considering the circumstances surrounding the whole situation. His body language also starts to change from here; he turns his head to look directly at Saejima when talking to him less often, spends more time looking ahead/up/down/avoiding direct eye contact in general even when Saejima turns to look him while speaking multiple times/for prolonged periods of time (istg I could talk about Majima's body language in serious moments like these literally forever but I'll try to keep it brief) • "Kid's always been a ball breaker" (lmao) - Paired with the line before this one (Daigo's reaction to Majima). He tries to sidestep the actual point of mentioning what Daigo said, (directly exposing just how much Majima changes when Kiryu is around/involved) with feigned exasperation, and once again does not actually acknowledge Saejima's point. His body language also changes again to something more restless; (adjusts his posture from the previously relaxed way he was leaning against the car, looks away from Saejima completely, starts tapping his foot/bouncing his leg, lifting his cigarette without actually taking a drag from it) • And then of course the big one: "Well, still just a dream in the end. Stupid or not." Up until this point, Majima hasn't said anything of any actual substance until Saejima directly namedrops Kiryu. It's about the most he actually says of any worth regarding his feelings towards Kiryu himself, but that line alone reveals so much about his feelings not only in that moment, but likely the feelings he's had throughout the series towards Kiryu. It's totally unfiltered, for once, showing off his resignation from not only his inability to help Kiryu by the end of this game but likely also the weight of chasing after Kiryu all these years (again, "Guys our age are supposed to be smart enough not to go chasin' legends." Cue Majima always chasing after Kiryu/what Kiryu wants for literal decades). It's a Singular straight answer after two deflections but it says so damn much, especially coming from Majima himself. • I also just wanna note the quick range of expressions Majima's face goes through when Saejima says "Yeah, too bad about that 'elixir of eternal life.'"

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‎

Apart from the different expressions he makes themselves, I think it's so fucking interesting (read: painful) how this occurs when Saejima (who, by the way, is at that moment not looking at Majima) is technically supposed to be the one that the player's eyes are focused on in that moment, since he's the one speaking. The camera doesn't try to manipulate the focus of the shot to hide Majima's expressions/feelings, they don't cut him out of the frame, they don't actually do anything to directly hide Majima's face at all, but most people (including Saejima himself) would miss this regardless, because it's done in a moment where, theoretically, nobody would or should be looking. Hell, even when the camera gives us a Direct close-up shot of Majima's face when Saejima mentions Kiryu ("Kazuma Kiryu. You never could give up on that one.") his expression doesn't betray too much of how he feels, but it's only once focus is finally taken away from him that he becomes most expressive. (rgg has always been so good with showing off characters' feelings with microexpressions and I feel like this applies to Majima especially. the same kind of thing happened in y0 when he saw Makoto at the end of the game (another scene that I could analyze for hours). The times when he doesn't speak and just. Reacts subtly and potentially subconciously with his face are ironically some of the moments where he says the most about himself. Go off king don't openly express your thoughts or feelings at all 🔥🔥🔥) • And then after all that (when Saejima looks at Majima again) Majima changes the topic to Noah. You could argue that Saejima, with bringing everything before that up, was trying to open up the opportunity for discussion on Majima's part about his behavior/feelings towards Kiryu, however this was largely unsuccessful. He only succeeds in this when he finally just says Kiryu's name outright (which, by the way, surprised me so much when I first watched the cutscene. I thought they were going to keep dancing around saying Kiryu's name directly/only implying him for the rest of that conversation, but I straight up gasped when Saejima said his whole name like that. It was significant, and Saejima wanted it to be, too), and even then that success is only marginal. It's enough for Majima to finally give away one of his "real" thoughts, completely unfiltered, about as straightforward as it's gonna get, just Once in that whole part of their conversation, but after that he immediately goes to pivot the topic of the conversation to something else. Which like, damn. Damn. That's pretty crazy.

The final detail I wanna mention, (this one I think mostly everyone got) was the way that Majima repeats his line from the beginning of the game "Where do I begin? That's right… (etc)." I love how they decided to have Majima say that line again differently, because the differences say so much. The version from the beginning of the game is said in a deeper more "intimidating" tone. The whole point of it is for story-telling drama, the theatrics, specifically to entertain/pique the interest of an audience, but the way he says it to Kiryu is much more easy-going and authentic. Ironically, it's once he leaves the player's sights and once he's with Kiryu that he discards the theatrics, where he simply shows off his fully genuine self re-telling the story. (One thing I will note is that the eng sub/dub translated that line so it would be different in the beginning and end ("Alright -- let's set things straight." (to player) -> "Where do I begin? That's right." (to Kiryu) even though he says the same thing twice in the japanese audio. I know that this is so that they can match up Majima's audio with his animations in the english dub, and they reuse the eng dub captions even for the japanese dub, and while I do not neccessarily. Like that. It does hammer in the tone difference between the way he speaks to the player vs. to Kiryu further (again, trying to be more intimidating vs. more easy going), which is an okay consolation if nothing else). I just think it's crazy to hear him talk like that with Kiryu after all this time, considering that he usually only talks this directly with Kiryu in fleeting moments. No high-pitched voice/fluctuating tones, no "Yo, Kiryu-chan", just being straightforward and to the point. Man. God.

It's been 4 days since I beat this game and everytime I see someone post about it or think about it for more than 10 seconds I die and explode into a million pieces. At some point I want to 100% this game so I can get as much dialogue/as many details as possible (also the game's just really fun lol), but for now I am just rotating this cutscene in my head forever and ever in an endless cycle. I am so sorry for posting about this game like everyday but I am so unwell over it it's not even funny I hope you can forgive me </333

[beevean]

Sure is nice to bring home a silver medal won by the skin of my teeth, with nothing but determination, and being told essentially "yeah that's cool but you gained too much weight and you should think of getting thinner" 🙃

it's funny because my trainer yesterday told me he didn't like my attitude before the competition, I was too down to the point I was struggling through warm up. Yeah well, considering I knew I would be told "yeah cool but how dare you get fatter", no shit I was struggling to stay motivated.

And yet I did. My silver that I won by bench pressing more than my own weight, which I did purely by desperation, is worth much more than winning a gold against people who weren't even close to my level - it wouldn't even be fair to them. To me it was a victory, and right now I really don't give a shit about my weight gain. I'll lose it, sure, I've done so in the past, but I am not going to let it, and you, ruin my success because you're so sad you don't have a dainty daughter/granddaughter. Because it's all you care about, I know it.

[gyuville]

no bc i really don't trust people who genuinely think saiki hates his friends. like i get it, saiki does wanna be alone most times. but did they miss the eps where saiki kept an eye on his friends even when they weren't together and helped them?? i mean i could name numerous cases where he puts his friends above all else. i thought we all knew saiki is an unreliable narrator?? 😭 plus his mother did Not raise him like that

[hauntingofhouses]

taigen blueeyesamurai: [exists]

me: humiliate and torture that man some more ‼️‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

[monsterfloofs]

Stars above, this is going to sound so sad but I could really, really use a hug right now... digital or little silly gifs, I would love it...

Does um, anyone have a comfort book, series, cute characters they enjoy or etc. they would like to share...?

[figs-oliomedley]

me watching Arin get hit with a wall of negative reinforcement with no one else to turn to unlike how Frak did

[avocado62524]

[abyssal-ilk]

sparing loghain for this playthrough is going to kill me so bad because rielle loves alistair. dearly. every past moment of anger and grief she's ever had with her brothers morphs into this deep, incessant need to keep alistair as close as she can, as safe and happy as she can— she can't let him die like trian, she can't let him change like bhelen, she refuses to make him king to spare him the political hell she grew up facing as a royal bastard second child. but when the time comes to kill loghain, she can't, because she gets why he did what he did. she can see the love he has for his people and his country, and what does killing him do, truly? she knew she couldn't do it. especially not in front of anora. how could she kill a father in front of his daughter when she lost her own? when alistair himself lost duncan? when she herself killed conner and broke up another family? when does it end?

but it comes at the cost of alistair's happiness. he changes. it kills him, in a way. he doesn't forgive her for it, and she doesn't think she'd deserve it even if he did.

[purewater100]

i know it's a nothingburger but it's kind of pissing me off when people in tiktok comments are like... genuinely angry and annoyed at henry's parents in the bad ending, basically insulting them and insisting they have no right to judge henry and it's like... first of all, YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT! and second of all, YOU'RE MISSING THE FUCKING POINT!!!

[icewindandboringhorror]

sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:

thing that I already do

thing I have tried 10 times

thing I already do

thing that I don't have the money to do

thing I already do

thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail

thing that is impossible given my situation

thing that doesn't apply to me

thing that I already do

thing I have already tried

hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently

thing I have already done

[shiresome]

COUGHING UP BLOOD. LISTEN TO ME

[loborundas]

saw a video where it talked about a transcendent experience by the end of it, and daaaaamn we are not supposed to live like this, we are supposed to live among friends, in community, not like this

oaugh

[solaestial]

Namid[A]me - Hitorie 🌧

old main version now swapped with the realistic raindrops one here because i've realised i kind of just prefer it a lot myself visually HAHA, despite this one fitting the vibe of the song better

[inkedbydave]

Btw I figured out why I've been feeling so shitty lately mentally, well, aside from the fact that a loved one is doing shitty and work is overwhelming. But like, that is the base setting as a neurodivergent person in a dysfunctional family, so I was surprised I was doing exceptionally bad... And suprise: it is because I probably have fucking pneumonia. I got most of the symptoms. Coughing, fever (I've been in and out of it in the past 3 weeks but assumed it's just because of my meds being changed recently, since sudden changes in temperature are often one of the symptoms of the body getting used to it), throat and chest pain (I assumed it was because of my terrible posture), low energy, confusion and changes in mental awarness (that's what I thought another burn out induced depressive episode was)... Yeah. It all checks out.

I haven't been to a doctor though because I am anxious going there alone so I need to know I'll have an emotional support friend available for sure before getting an appointment.

So yeah, if I'm not updating the fic or finishing the artworks I promised... that's why.

Also if you read this far, this is your reminder to never let your physical health deteriorate so much. Don't be like me. Because it is really dangerous. Last night I genuinely felt like I was about to die. I'm sure I was close, too. I had a fever of 104°F (40°C). And Clearly, I am really bad at taking care of myself. So please, when you're body is telling you something listen to it. Don't just assume things, it is better to get it checked out now and realize it was nothing than regret it later.

Anyways, checking out. Thanks for reading and supporting my content.