#like “I feel bad for you when you display sadness. but I don't want to feel bad for you so stop displaying sadness.”

[bumblingbabooshka]

Thinking about marriage/women's rights on Vulcan Some may think that T'Pring not being allowed to divorce Spock was because he was going through the pon farr but if she were allowed to divorce him at all she probably would have done that a long time ago, confirmed by T'Pol when she's speaking with Koss, who isn't suffering from the pon farr. She says that he can choose another mate (without invoking a fight it seems: note the difference between a 'mate' and a 'challenger') and after he makes it clear that nothing she says will change his mind about marrying her, she finally threatens to declare a kal-if-fee. It's clear that Vulcan women cannot divorce/refuse to marry a man they've been betrothed to under any circumstances if A) He himself doesn't consent to ending their marriage or B) She doesn't have someone else waiting in the wings to be given to in his stead. Though, if the challenger she selects fails to win the fight, she'll have to marry her betrothed anyway unless (again) he decides he doesn't want her after the challenge. That seems like an incredibly unfair system, heavily biased towards men. SNW is an alternate universe in many obvious respects but most egregiously in that T'Pring has a lot of non-canonical agency over her relationship with Spock. It's interesting to me that Vulcan society has women in many positions of power and treats women as equal to men from what I've seen despite these laws. We don't really see Vulcans exhibiting a misogynistic attitude towards women in general but in TOS (perhaps because of its general writing style but it's still interesting to note) both Sarek and Spock take on patriarchal attitudes specifically regarding wives. Amanda says that 'of course' Sarek commands her because "he is a Vulcan and I am his wife." It's worthwhile in my eyes to note that she specifies 'wife' instead of attributing this attitude to women as a whole. Again, with TOS' writing style it wouldn't be out of place for her to say "he is a man and I am a woman." Spock, while in a pon farr induced irritation, states that it's "undignified for a woman to play servant to a man that isn't hers" - again implying that there's something specific about being a Wife in Vulcan society which is different from being a woman in general and demands subservience to a husband. This could perhaps stem from the extreme sense of ownership that Vulcan law has permitted men to have over women. A woman legally cannot point blank refuse marriage. There is no option which guarantees she won't have to marry her betrothed other than death. When T'Pau speaks of T'Pring she refers to her as being 'property' and Stonn, before being interrupted, states he's made 'the ancient claim' - we don't know what this is because he gets cut off but it's obvious they're both using the language of Vulcan law. Men are permitted true freedom to choose. If a woman wants to choose someone else to be with there is no option available to her other than the kal-if-fee which might result in the death of the one she wants to be with. And, if her lover fails, her husband can still just decide he wants to marry her and she'll be forced to. T'Pring gives two scenarios: One where Spock 'frees' her and one where he doesn't - it's still ultimately his decision which is clear when he ends the conversation with "Stonn, she is yours." This again isn't just because of the pon farr as T'Pol also goes through this. Koss can choose another mate and when the option is talked about there's no implication that this would result in any sort of fight (both by the casualness of its mention and by the fact that there's no formal word for it unlike the kal-if-fee.) Also, the fact that Koss does eventually grant T'Pol a divorce and it's all fine means that T'Pol isn't lawfully required to have another man waiting if her HUSBAND doesn't want her. It's ONLY required if SHE doesn't want her husband. Tradition must take precedence over individual desire UNLESS!!! You're a man. Then it's fine. Like, your parents might not be happy but legally you're golden.

[redtail-lol]

"a smile would be nice" = "I want to pretend to be happy so you're aesthetically pleasing to me and/or so I can stop feeling empathy for you."

"make sure it's the kind that brings all the boys to the yard" = "I actually want to make you happy because I actually care about your feelings."

Me: Can I get you anything else?

Customer: Yeah, a smile would be nice

Me:

[airybcby]

We've Already Done It In My Head ;)

( kissing with the haikyuu boys )

a / n — was listening to guilty as sin? by taylor swift and knew i had to write something for my boys

content — haikyuu! boys x GN! reader, some suggestive parts, some characters repeated,

synopsis — just kissing with the haikyuu boys <3

✿.｡. “ without ever touching his skin, ” .｡.✿

Always feels like the first time

they're always so giddy to give you a kiss, whether it be a small peck or a full make out session, they are always bouncing up and down in excitement. while they're always the most excited to kiss you, they're also so insanely clumsy about it too.

you couldn't keep count of how many times the two of you had clinked your teeth together, accidentally headbutted each other, and even accidentally bitten each others lips.

maybe it wasn't always the most picture perfect kiss, but you wouldn't trade it for the world.

after all, people do say they wish they could experience their firsts again, and you get that anytime you're around them.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ HINATA SHOYO, shohei fukunaga, YAMAGUCHI TADASHI, asahi azumane, TOBIO KAGEYAMA

Always turns into a make-out session

if there was one thing that was 100% certain in your life, it was that you could never kiss them in a purely innocent way. you could be in a very - and i mean VERY - public place, and if you want to give them a small peck?

nope, it's turning into a whole pda session. sometimes you don't mind, but other times you're a little embarrassed because of their boldness.

even while you're at a big event, they have to have their hands on you at all times. "you look so good right now." ignore. "wanna kiss you so bad." ignore. "wanna go to the bathroom?" ignore, ignore, ig-freaking-nore!

if the two of you can get through the whole evening without a big display, maybe you'll reward him when you get home ;)

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ ATSUMU MIYA, korai hoshiumi, BOKUTO KOTARO, hinata shoyo

Always ends up in you getting what you want

it's not nice to manipulate people, especially not by kissing them until they can't tell you no. your boyfriend was a meanie. nothing more and absolutely nothing less.

all you wanted was to watch a rom-com for your weekly movie night, but nooo, they wanted to watch some boring history retelling film. you weren't sure if they really wanted to watch it or if they were only putting it on to piss you off.

so, of course, what else were you supposed to do besides slide yourself onto their lap and start kissing them until you could slip the remote from their hands and into yours.

" i hate you." he grumbled as you switched from the boring documentary to one of your favorite rom-coms of all time.

" no, you love me. " "...sadly."

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ KEI TSUKISHIMA, suna rintaro, OSAMU MIYA, TETSURO KUROO, yaku morisuke

Always gives the perfect kisses

they're literally a perfect specimen, it's really unfair.

you're sad? they're always there giving you small kisses on your head, forehead, and of course your lips. you're in the mood to just be hateful? he's there rubbing your back and kissing your temple while nodding along to your words.

there is no place in the world where they won't fit in perfectly.

and you're just lucky enough to be part of it.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ AKAASHI KEIJI, koshi sugawara, KITA SHINSUKE, toru oikawa, HAJIME IWAZUMI

✿.｡. “ how can i be guilty as sin ? ” .｡.✿

thanks for reading!!

likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!

[blueberrybirdsworld]

Out of frame 4/4 Alternate Ending

Summary : Y/N and Lando Norris have been together for three years. Their relationship is real, steady, and full of quiet love but always behind the scenes. While fans know they’re a couple, Lando has never posted about her, avoids public displays of affection, and never mentions her in interviews. At first, Y/N understood. She believed it was about privacy, about protecting what they had. But over time, being constantly left out of frame has started to hurt.

Genre : angst, SMAU

Faceclaim : @suanbeiii

Main Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Texts messages

Lando: Y/N Please It’s you. In the pictures. Those are ours. From Monaco. From my birthday. I didn’t cheat on you. I swear to God. I was drunk and missing you so bad I thought… I don’t know. I thought you’d know it was you. That it would mean something.

Lando: I wasn’t trying to disrespect you I didn’t tag you because… because I didn’t know if I was allowed to anymore. After everything.

Lando: But it’s always been you God, Y/N I’m sorry. Please talk to me

Y/N: No, Lando. Not this time.

Lando: What? Baby please... Talk to me

Y/N: Do you even hear yourself? You posted me at 4AM drunk, no context, no tag, no explanation And now I’m supposed to what? Be grateful? Because you finally remembered I exist? I don’t care if it was me in the pictures. I don’t care if you were sad or drunk or missed me.

Lando: Please don’t do this I didn’t meant to hurt you

Y/N: But you did. Over and over and over again.

Lando: I didn’t mean for it to feel that way I thought I was protecting us

Y/N: No. You were protecting you. From judgment, from fans, from commitment You never wanted us to be real unless it was convenient for you Unless someone called you out Unless your PR team started sweating And then suddenly, you’d remember I existed

Y/N: I was there, Lando When you looked straight through me When you told me I was exaggerating When you said, “Which girlfriend?” Do you know what that felt like? Do you know what it's like to hear the man you love erase you in front of the entire world?

Lando: I was nervous. It was a joke. I didn’t mean it... I panicked

Y/N: You always panic You always run You always blame everyone but yourself I begged you to acknowledge me Not because I needed the attention But because I needed to feel chosen. And instead, I got late-night drunk texts and apologies only after your team told you to.

Y/N: I’m done, Lando I am so fucking done

Lando: Y/N please You don’t mean that We can talk We can fix this We always do

Y/N: No. We don’t. I forgive You forget And we go in circles But this time, there’s no circle left Only a line And I’m walking away from it

Lando: Don’t go Please. I’ll change I’ll post you I’ll talk about you I'll do anything Just… don’t leave like this

Y/N: You should’ve done all of that when I was still here

Y/N: I’m just done begging to be enough You lost me, Lando

Lando: Please don’t do this I’m sorry I’ll do better I’ll prove it

Y/N: I don't need proof Goodbye, Lando.

Instagram Story: @your_username

"Hi everyone, I want to confirm that Lando and I are no longer together.

This has been a very personal and painful decision, and while I know there’s been a lot of noise online, I ask for your understanding and respect.

To be clear: this is not about cheating. No one crossed that line.

We’ve simply grown apart in ways that made continuing our relationship impossible.

Thank you for the love and support, it means more than I can say."

@your_username

First step after a breakup: dye your hair. 💗✂️

@_user1 SHE’S IN HER ERA. DO NOT DISTURB. 💅🏼💖

@_user2 No because the breakup glow is ACTUALLY real???? she looks better than ever 😭

@_user3 you mean to tell me lando let THIS go?? jail immediately

@_user4 the hair. the vibe. ICON BEHAVIOUR.

@_user5 she dyed her hair pink and left him in the dust 😭 we’re witnessing power

@_user6 I’m crying over the breakup but also like… she’s clearly THRIVING and that’s beautiful 🥹🩷

@_user7 somewhere lando is breathing into a paper bag and honestly? he should be

@_user8 girl i was sad for 2 minutes but now?? now I’m in love with you instead 💘

@_user9 okay but she looks so peaceful?? like she finally exhaled after holding her breath for 3 years

@_user10 not to be dramatic but this hair is a soft reset and I support it fully

@_user11 I miss them but… she looks too good😭

@_user12 he never deserved her and this confirms it. she’s the main character now ✨

Texts messages

Lando: I saw your post. You dyed your hair pink. God, you look so beautiful it actually hurts.

Lando: You really did it. You’re gone. And I don’t even get to say goodbye.

Lando: Why did you send someone else to get your stuff? I opened the door and it wasn’t you. It felt like being stabbed.

Lando: You couldn’t even look at me? You didn’t want to see me one last time? I get it. I know I deserve that. But it still destroyed me.

Lando: Can we just talk? One conversation. No pressure. No begging. Just… one moment of honesty before we never speak again. Please.

Lando: I hate how I treated you. I hate every second I made you feel alone, or unwanted, or invisible. I hate that I turned the girl I loved into a stranger because I couldn’t grow the fuck up.

Lando: I would give anything to go back. To not freeze up every time I had the chance to show you off. To not make you beg for love I should’ve offered freely.

Lando: I’m a fucking mess. I’m not eating. I’m not sleeping. I go to bed hoping I don’t dream of you But I always do.

Lando: You were right About everything. And I was too stubborn and scared to admit it until I lost you.

Lando: Please. Say something. Yell at me. Hate me. I’ll take anything but this silence.

Lando: Do you hate me? Do you think I’m beyond saving? Because I might be. I’m breaking, Y/N. Completely.

Lando: I miss you. I love you. I’m so fucking sorry.

No reply

@F1LiveMoments 📍Jeddah, Saudi Arabia

NEWS: Lando Norris appeared noticeably low and withdrawn during the Saudi Arabian Grand Prix weekend.

The McLaren driver refused to speak to media, barely interacted with fans, and seemed visibly affected throughout the paddock. His race result only added to the growing concern surrounding his current state.

This marks his first public appearance since his reported breakup with long-term girlfriend Y/N, just days after cheating rumors flooded the internet following a cryptic Instagram post.

While sources close to the team remain tight-lipped, fans and insiders alike are noticing a clear shift in Lando’s behavior and performance.

@_user1 man looks like he hasn’t slept in days 😔

@_user2 first time I’ve seen him walk through the paddock without smiling. this is bad

@_user3 you can feel the regret in these pictures. he fumbled and now he’s unraveling

@_user4 can’t lie I was mad at him but this? this is rough to see.

@_user6 the breakup was just last week it's normal he is still crashing emotionally. let them have a private life for real

@_user7 “no interviews” = “I’m afraid I’ll cry if I speak” 😞

@_user8 not defending his actions but I hope someone is checking on him fr. man looks hollow.

@_user9 you can’t ghost your girl for 3 years and expect to be okay after she leaves 😕

@_user10 or maybe just stop talking about it all the time, let the man forget it

@your_username

Old memories out, new sun in. ☀️🍑🌊

@_user1 She’s literally glowing STOPPPP 😭

@_user2 this is her soft girl healing era and we’re just lucky to witness it

@_user3 she’s even more prettier now she dump Lando

@_user4 can we stop bringing up Lando in her comments?? she’s allowed to move on. it’s called growth.

@_user6 why are y’all still tagging him?? he’s her ex. let her live 💅🏼

@_user8 so proud of you for leaving what didn’t serve you, you’re glowing from the inside out 🥺🧡

@_user9 every girl deserves a post-breakup glow like this one 🙌

@landonorris You look happy.

@_user1 OH HE’S HERE. he really came to cry under her post huh 😭 @_user2 “you look happy” yeah cause you’re not in the frame bro @_user3 Lando please let her post in peace 💀 @_user4 he sounds like he typed this while lying face down on the hotel floor @_user6 stop with the “he’s suffering” comments. she suffered in silence for 3 years. let her thrive now. @_user7 people still crying over Lando like she hasn’t outgrown that whole chapter 😭😭

Texts messages

Y/N: Lando. Please don’t comment on my posts like that again.

Lando: I’m sorry. I saw the pictures and… I couldn’t help myself. You looked happy. I meant what I said.

Y/N: I know. But people online are already saying too much about us. You commenting just throws more gas on the fire.

Lando: You're right. I didn’t think. Again. I’m sorry.

Y/N: It’s okay. I just… want peace now.

Y/N: That being said… I think we should talk. Face to face. Just to end things properly. I still have my big suitcase at your place too.

Lando: Our place.

Y/N: No, Lando. Your place. I never loved Monaco. I only moved there for you.

Lando: God. I didn’t know. You gave up so much for me. And I made you feel like you were just… background.

Y/N: We both made choices. I just want to close this out with clarity.

Lando: Okay. We can meet. Whatever day works for you.

Lando: But… why do you even need the suitcase?

Y/N: I'm going to Japan. I got the job offer I dreamed about for years. I’m moving next week.

Lando: ...Japan? Seriously?

Lando: You’re going to live there? Now when I think of Japan I always think about the weekend I messed up

Y/N: It wasn’t just that weekend, Lando, if I’m being honest… I think you started losing me a long time ago.

Lando: I know. God, Y/N. I know.

Lando: I keep going back over it all. Every time you reached out and I shut down. Every time I told you you were asking for too much when really, you were just asking to be loved out loud.

Y/N: I don’t want to rehash it all.

Lando: And you’re really moving? Just like that?

Y/N: It’s not “just like that.” It’s everything I held back on for years. And now I’m not holding back anymore.

Lando: I always thought I’d have more time to fix it. To fix us.

Y/N: Time ran out the moment you didn’t notice I was slipping away. Japan is a new beginning. And I’m not looking over my shoulder anymore.

Y/N: We’ll meet in Monaco this weekend. One last time.

@your_username 📍Tokyo, Japan

I still can’t believe I get to wake up here now 🌸🍜✨

@_user1 this is HER ERA. she’s glowing, peaceful, and unstoppable 🥹❤️

@_user2 she really said “new country, new chapter, no regrets” 😭✨

@_user3 I’m sobbing??? this feels like the start of a movie and she’s the main character

@_user4 Tokyo’s lucky. she’s magic and we all know it

@_user6 you deserve every beautiful moment this city gives you 💖

@_user7 remember when she was just “someone’s girlfriend”? now she’s everything

@_user8 I’m so proud of her 🥺

Texts messages

Lando: It’s 2AM again I can’t sleep. I haven’t really, since you left.

Lando: It’s been five months and nothing feels right. Not the car. Not the races. Not even the silence I used to love. I go home to empty walls and even emptier thoughts.

Lando: They say time helps but it doesn’t. It just… stretches the ache further apart. I’m still there. With you. At the airport. At the door. Watching you leave with your suitcase.

Lando: I can’t drive right. I don’t smile. The team notices. The fans notice. Everything feels wrong without you.

Lando: God, Y/N, I’m so sorry. I know it’s late. I know I shouldn’t text. But I don’t know who else to be without you.

Lando: Just one more chance. One more breakfast. One more morning with you. I’d give you everything I never gave before. I swear. I mean it this time. I’m not too late… am I?

Lando: Please come back. I need you. Still. Always.

Y/N: Lando… I wasn’t going to respond, but I think you deserve to hear this from me directly, not the internet. I’ve met someone in Japan. It’s still new. We’re taking things slow. Nothing public. Nothing official. But I wanted to be honest with you, before the media could twist it into something worse.

Y/N: I didn’t want to hurt you. I’m not trying to make this harder. But I need you to stop texting me.

Y/N: I need space to build a life that’s mine. A path that doesn’t circle back to you. I can’t keep reopening wounds I worked so hard to close.

I wish you well. I always will. But please… Let me go now. I need that.

Voicemail Recording Hey… it’s me.

I, I just read your message.

I guess I… I knew this would come eventually, right? I just thought maybe… maybe I’d have more time to fix everything I shattered.

God, Y/N, I hate this. I hate reading those words. I hate the thought of someone else getting to see you laugh like I used to. Getting to call you theirs.

I know. I know I have no right to feel this. I’m the one who pushed you away. I’m the one who let silence sit longer than love. But fuck, he doesn’t even know how lucky he is. He has no idea. No. Fucking. Clue. What it means to be chosen by you.

But I want you to be happy. I do. I swear I do. So I’ll stop. I won’t call again. I promise. It’s the least I can do for you now.

This is the last message. I won’t reach out anymore. I just needed you to hear it once more, clearly. Without noise. Without anger.

I love you. Still. Always. More than I’ve ever been able to say.

Please be happy, Y/N. Even if it’s not with me. At least one of us should be. Voicemail ended.

@angelluv16, @httpsxnox, @anunstablefangirl, @chocolatemagazinecupcake, @mayax2o07, @freyathehuntress, @verogonewild, @lilyofthevalley-09, @esw1012, @its-me-frankie, @linneaguriii, @ezzi-ln4, @rlbmutynnek, @actuallyazriel, @sofs16, @thulior, @sltwins, @henna006, @stylesmoonlight12, @lilaissa, @sideboobrry11, @l3thal-l0lita, @lorena-mv33, @ispywlittleeye-blog, @lesliiieeeee, @sageskiesf1, @adynorris, @curlylando, @rebelliousneferut, @justcharlotte, @secret-agents-stole-my-bunnies, @emneedshelp, @lando-505, @yukimaniac, @sashisuslover, @f1norris04, @hi26loveie, @bunnisplayground, @nina481, @reallifemermaidprincess, @cars-and-frogs, @delululeclerc, @txmhxllqnd, @lydia-demarek, @destinyg237, @rhaenyrasversion, @sarascabiosa, @readz4u, @tvdtw4ever, @mynameisangeloflife, @teti-menchon0604, @suns3treading, @op814kitty, @prettyboyroseberg, @willowsnook, @ariesandwolves, @clarksgf, @knivesdoingcartwheels, @pinklemonade34, @fat-meh,@tiaajosephin, @landosbabe4, @easy4, @jule239, @mercrussell, @skylandori, @ryuucollapse, @nickie-amore, @fairyjinn, @seonaw,@strawberrylov-er, @linnygirl09, @dilflover44, @bell1a, @f1fantasys, @sillyfreakfanparty

@janonymus0, @taetae-armyyyyy, @charlesgirl16, @angstynasty, @jules-bea2308, @afternoonarchive, @itsbieberxholland, @rexit-mo, @chlmtfilms, @vampgege, @mochimommy2002, @budgetcupid, @lemon-stvrrr, @bell1a, @taebearyoongs, @hazzasmunchkin, @sainz0fthetimes, @didaaa4, @madelyn2000, @il0vereadingstuff, @march32nd, @chlmtfilms, @literallysza, @cheapdocmartens, @wolfstarsimpxx, @pretzelcat4-blog, @larya810, @6-noir, @urfavftoomie, @ficr3ccs, @strawberrylov-er, @wosof1, @behindmygreyeyes, @justheretoreadthxxs, @pinklemonade34, @ninass-world, @landosbabe4, @leclercdream, @perfectsuitcasegardenpie, @flowersandalll, @sagestack, @angxedxtz, @fangirl125reader, @mimisweetz, @mattslovelygf, @taetae-armyyyyy, @guacala, @gothicwidowsworld, @chezmardybum, @virtualperfectioncat, @cherryhazee,@bubble012, @teti-menchon0604, @elieanana, @dessashippr, @sainz0fthetimes, @@snorksquid101, @gsvmami, ninavandoorne

[aceecee]

Insatiable - Chapter Six

TW for this chapter: some angst, reader displaying destructive behaviour just like with her ex-girlfriend, death, grieving or lack of it, themes of obsession and possessiveness

Don't worry, it's packed with a lot of fluff as well

Synopsis: You reunite with an old friend. One who might not let you go.

AN: I will not apologise for my favouritism of Zayne.

WC: 6.2K

Masterlist

When the days are rough, he finds himself staring at the photo of the young girl. His eyes trained on her smile. The smile he failed to cherish too late.

The smile he’ll never see again. 

He doesn’t really care much for birthdays. 

But his family does. Many find it funny how such a stoic kid can belong to outgoing and extroverted parents. He wonders the same. 

The party is in their backyard, his parents wanted something extravagant but his wishes won in the end. It was easy to pull the ‘it’s my birthday’ card, he doesn’t ask for much often so he gets what he wants on the rare occasions he does.

Banners are strung up everywhere. His mother’s work. She’s also put balloons everywhere and decorated everything. Despite his wishes she had gotten a bouncy castle. He felt he was too old for it but his classmates seemed to enjoy it. He wasn’t close with the people in his year level, he didn’t know how to be friends with them and they saw him as cold. 

He doesn’t have to be a genius - though he is - to see that none of them want to be here. They give him strained smiles while their parents stand behind them, the reason as to why his classmates have been forced to attend. He almost feels bad for them.

They all disperse into their own groups after telling him a half-assed ‘Happy birthday’ and thrusting their gifts into his hand. He tosses the gifts to the pile, not interested in the contents. He’s more than happy to stay at the side, book in hand. It’s on the reading list for an upcoming subject and he likes to be prepared.

Besides, the actual people he wanted couldn’t make it. Caleb had a school trip and Mara was down with food poisoning. She had called him in tears, letting him know she couldn’t make it this morning with promises to make it up to him. Though a little disappointed, he wished her a well recovery and told her not to worry. That just left-

“Happy birthday, zayniee.” 

You. 

It left you.

You’re wearing a cute jumper, blue ombre in colour. He remembers when you had started knitting it. You’ve paired it with a black skirt and black tights. You’re wearing earrings in the shape of blue ribbons. You look cute. You’re smiling at him softly and there’s a rectangle box in your hands. It’s wrapped in brown paper with an ice blue ribbon and a card on the box. He’s intrigued. 

You hand him the box and he takes it. Instead of tossing it like the rest, he keeps it on his lap. 

You take the seat next to him, your legs don’t reach the floor so you settle for swinging them. “I’m sorry the others couldn’t make it. They felt bad.” He can’t imagine Caleb feeling sad for missing his birthday. He has no idea why the rascal didn’t like him. “It’s fine. It can’t be helped.” You just give another soft smile.

The two of you sit in comfortable silence as he continues reading his book.

“Oh, is that Monomania?”

He glances at you. “You’ve read it?”

“Yeah, I got bored one day. I liked it, the author did well balancing the themes of obsession and going too far but it also fell flat in many areas.”

He hums, an invitation to continue. “You want a small spoiler about the ending?” you ask. He turns to you and contemplates for a second before agreeing. 

“You won’t like it.”

“Like what?”

“The ending.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s more of a fairytale ending than the one even I anticipated.” 

“Is that what you think of me? Cold?”

“Not at all. But even you can’t deny that you can be a little…logical.”

“Hmm.” 

Of course you end up being right when he finishes the book the next day, a happy ending was not needed for a book like this. It ruined his morning a little. His parents didn’t notice the subtle pout on his face.

His mother calls everyone over to cut the cake. It’s ice-themed. He doesn’t like it. He feels you lean in towards him, touching each other’s shoulders. “At least it’s not a carrot cake,” you comfort him. 

At least it’s not a carrot cake, he repeats in his head. It’s weird how you always seemed to know the right thing to say. You seem to understand him a lot. He doesn’t know how to feel about it.

The both of you enjoy the cake together. Your love for sweets was the biggest thing you had in common.

After, it’s time to unwrap the gifts. He doesn’t mean to be unappreciative but it's clear his classmates don’t know him all too well. He’s left with unimaginative gifts like socks or simple clothing. He’ll just donate them.

A familiar brown wrapped box sits in front of him. He unconsciously saved it for last. He’s careful with unwrapping it, you’re watching him with anticipation and the last thing needed is for him to disappoint you with his reaction. The card on the box doesn’t say the stereotypical ‘Happy Birthday Zayne’ like the rest had. 

You’ve given him a coupon instead. ‘Ask [Name] to make you whatever sweet you desire’ is on it. Towards the bottom are five punch holes. He’ll have to be careful with his decisions. Your sweets are on a whole other world on their own, he’ll have to savour them. 

He removes the wrapping, it’s a vintage record player still in mint condition. You beam at the awed look in his eyes. There’s two vinyl records underneath. “They work, don’t worry. I wasn’t sure about your music taste so I picked at random. The shop I found had many more, I’ll take you there.” 

He flashes you a small smile. “Thank you,” he says softly. He’s never mentioned liking music around you or even talked about record players but the gift screams him in a shocking way.

You stare at him frozen for a second. He doesn’t realise you’re flustered when you avoid eye contact.

Maybe birthdays aren’t so bad. 

“I’m surprised [Name] isn’t with you. The two of you are always attached at the hip.” When leaving for the new cafe that had opened up, the last thing he expected to happen was meeting his childhood friend again. 

Mara was taller now. A hunter, he thinks feeling annoyed. She has a heart condition and chose one of the most extraneous jobs. It’s just like her. He remembers how [Name] had supported her in this endeavor. Zayne had missed you all these years. To everyone’s surprise, the two of you had become fast friends. He doesn’t understand how a warm person like you sought friendship in him but he’s glad you did. He regrets not keeping in touch.

He’s taken aback at the tears that gather in Mara’s dark brown eyes at his question. She’s grown to be a beautiful woman but his heart remains unaffected. He tries to imagine what you look like now.

Did they fight? He brushes the thought off. There’s no way the two of you would end up not friends. No the only reason he can come with for a separation is-

His eyes widened. 

No. No. No. 

“She’s dead.”

Mara had shown him where your grave was, right next to your parents. She’s waiting in the car while he visits you.

In his mind you had achieved your dream of being a bakery owner and were happy. It’s what you deserved.

He’s disgusted in himself. He’d run away like a coward in his childhood. He missed the extra years with you the others got. While he was busy with med school and then becoming a doctor, you were dead. You’d been dead this whole time and he had no idea.

He’ll spend the next few years just thinking. Thinking of you, of everything about you he can commit to memory. The only place you exist is in the minds of those you’ve left behind. He’ll think of missed chances and regrets. Sometimes he allows himself to fall into the what ifs, imagining a future with you that would never come to pass. These moments were rare, he only indulged in them at his weakest.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers to your grave.

It’s all he can say.

You had decided it would be best to keep your wishes to disappear to yourself. The twins would never break their allegiance to Sylus, not that you ever wanted them to. No, in the N109 zone, the only person you can fully trust is you. 

You had stayed up that night and came up with a mental checklist for escape. 

1. Find your own place. Not in the N109 zone. 

“No,” Sylus tells you. You’re standing before him in his office. He’s not even looking at you, too busy with the paperwork in front of him. His words bring a pout to your face.

[Why not?] 

“Because I said so. You’re not getting your own place. You have everything you need right here. You’re not leaving.” You glare at him and a hint of amusement flickers in his eyes. You hate that he never takes you seriously. “End of discussion.”

Taking in a deep breath - to calm the need to strangle him, it doesn’t work - you reluctantly relent. Instead you ask for something else. 

[Can I go visit my brother?]

It bruises your ego to ask for permission to do anything. You’re not a child, you’re nearly the age you were when you died the first time. But the N109 zone isn’t one you can just enter and leave when you want, unless you’re someone like Sylus. 

Your words stop him, he pushes away from the work on his desk. His attention is now fixed on you, his gaze leaves you on edge. Nearly two years have been spent with him and you still have no idea how to read him. It's frustrating, being able to read people has always been your strong suit, it helped with the constant manipulation you would pull. You had been happy to do his bidding without question before and now you regret the amount of control he has on you. 

“Why would I do that?” he crosses his arms. 

[Because it’s my brother…?]

He narrows his eyes at you.

“Why would I do that?” he repeats. 

[Because I just found out he’s alive and I want to see him. Not to meet him, I’ll watch from a distance. I just have to see him with my own eyes.] You give him a pleading look. He sighs and looks away, taking a few seconds to agree before looking at you again.

“Fine,” he reluctantly agrees. “But you know the ordeal by now. Do something for me in return.”

Ugh everything is always a business deal with him. 

“Sit,” he commands, gesturing at the chairs in front of him. You do.

He takes the glasses off his face. A shame. He looked very sophisticated in them. “That doctor you mentioned, there’s still nothing on her,” every month the two of you would meet and he’d relay the information he had found out and in the last year, not even a sentence could be written down. It left the both of you frustrated.

[Do you think..]

“That we have a traitor amongst us? Yes I’m sure of it now,” he finishes the thought for you. There’s a tick in his jaw. You don’t blame him, moles are annoying to deal with normally. But here in the N109 zone finding one is like finding a needle in a haystack. Everyone is a mole here. Finding the right one will be hard.

“Don’t worry, I already have a trap settled for our little rat. We’ll find them.”

His words don’t comfort you. They meant he’d known about the mole for a while, at least long enough to come up with a plan. Before your mind can go on a tirade at your developing distaste for your boss, he interrupts you. 

“Moving on, I’m sending you on your first mission.” You keep his stare. “After you come back from seeing your brother. Make sure to have no contact with anyone. No one can know you’re alive. Also remember to take your phone this time. Got it?”

Ah right. The phone he’d given you was rarely used. There was no point, all the people you communicated with lived under one roof and you all used Meph as a phone anyways. 

You nod. 

[Cross my heart and hope to die.]

He glares at you, not impressed.

That’s how you find yourself, staring at the mirror in your bathroom. 

Sylus had given you three days to visit Ei.

The weather in Linkon will be cold so you make sure to dress up in a nice wool coat. You have a small bag with you, there’s a few outfits in there and way too many pairs of undergarments. You’re not taking any chances. There’s a key to the hotel room Sylus had booked for you in there. The problem is the very large and very visible scar across your throat. You lift your head up a little to check it out. It’s still bright red. Your finger’s trail over it. The scar doesn’t feel as thick as it used to be but it’ll draw attention. You decide to take a scarf with you. 

You still haven’t decided on how to feel about it. On one hand, it’s frustrating not being able to talk. It gets in the way of your everyday life. Even if you can sign now, many people don’t understand it so you have to carry a tablet around. Your torturers/killers had taken so much from you that it doesn’t hurt emotionally that they’ve taken your ability to talk as well. On the other hand, you’ve gotten used to not speaking. No longer do you remember what you sound like.

Ah, well. No point dwelling on it.

Sylus will show you how to leave the N109 zone. The way he does. 

You feel like an imposter being back.

You had once built a life here but that’s been gone for a long time. You no longer have a place here.

First order of business is to visit the library, after you check into your hotel of course. The looks you receive all go ignored. You’re not humble about them, you’re aware of your beauty. 

You peruse the selection of books but none of them interest you. Sylus already had a vast collection and you weren’t interested to add to them. You weren’t here for the books either. No, you were here for the computers. 

You walk over to one and set your bag on the table. Sitting down, you turn it on. A book and a pen are retrieved from the bag. The purpose of your visit is to look for places available. A simple one bed will do. Hell, you’ll even take - you shudder at the thought - a studio. You browse through all the available properties, noting their addresses down.

Maybe if Sylus hadn’t proven time and time again he can’t be trusted then you would have accepted his ‘no’ without fighting. But, you have to look after yourself first. Besides, the small act of rebellion soothes you, you had grown a bit too complacent. He’ll find out, Sylus has too many ways of tracking you. The very phone he had given you which was currently in your bag for one. Mephisto for another, the city was loud and filled with people, everything is noisy so you have to really concentrate to hear the bird. Luckily, he doesn’t seem to be following you. 

Second order of business is the graveyard, flagging down a taxi, you show the driver the address written on your book.

You walk by your own gravestone and you try your best not to register your parents’. You’re not ready. You stand before the gravestone you’re here for.

Caleb Xia.

He really died. 

You hadn’t been there.

He was dead.

And you weren’t there. 

Some friend you were. Your mind remains oddly blank as you stand in front of him. It’s not like you can even say anything to him. Not even the lies that easily roll off your tongue. You turn to leave.

Third order of business.

Akso Hospital. 

Zayne doesn’t believe in ghosts.

Not when his coworkers tell each other stories of those that took their last breath in the hospital, now doomed to forever roam the grounds. Not when Mara would tell him “spooky” stories to try and freak him out (it never works, he has no idea why she hasn’t given up). 

So then, why is there a ghost standing in front of him? 

The woman standing before him looks just like you - a grown up version of you. The rational part of him tries to answer, it’s just a coincidence that they look similar. It’s just a coincidence that the lady is standing right in front of the hospital room where your brother currently resides.

Just a coincidence. 

There’s no way you’re alive. There’s no way its you wearing that long black winter coat with the black scarf around your neck. The coat practically swallows the woman up, nothing about her body can be seen. It’s not you because you hated keeping your hair long. It’s not you because you'd never sport that dead emotionless look on your eyes. It’s not you because you loved sleeping and you would never have eye bags that huge.

It can’t be you.

As a doctor, he’s treated a variety of people, especially those who have experienced trauma. But his mind (heart) can’t accept the way you look. He never thought he would see you so broken. Just what have you gone through all these years?

The doctor in him is screaming. Yelling to stop standing there and fix you. 

He watches silently, frozen, as you contemplate entering the room. Your hand remains on the door handle, the window in it showing you the view of your brother inside. Eiden hasn’t noticed you, he’s fast asleep. The image of his rest calms you down. It’s a good thing he can still sleep peacefully. 

The ghost looks painfully human as she steps away from the door. You still haven’t made a single sound, even your steps are quiet. He sees you close your eyes for a few seconds, your hands come up to rub your arms, an effort to ground or comfort yourself. When they reopen you look more focused. You’ve made up your mind on something when you sharply turn and end up looking right at him.

He sees your eyes widen in shock. In realisation. He can no longer convince himself you’re a ghost or another woman, there’s no denying it. It’s you. 

The two of you remain frozen where you stand. Neither party makes a move. Neither of you speak either.

You break the moment by running away.

He watches as you leave him again. 

Shit. Shit. Shit. 

This wasn’t supposed to happen. Zayne wasn’t supposed to be working but when is a doctor’s schedule reliable? You saw him listed as Eiden’s doctor and you weren’t even surprised. No matter how hard you try to stay away from the main cast, your fate seems to be thread right through theirs. Fuck. You should’ve made a plan just in case. When has anything in this horrible world gone right for you???

You try to look for a taxi. Hell you’ll even break into a car if you have to. Anything to get out of here.

Your mind is unreliable in moments of panic. Every thought is dramatised and the actions you end up taking go too far. You’ll come up with a simpler solution later but by then the damage will often be done leaving you with regrets.

Oh my god, I should just kill myself. Yup, that’ll fix it.

The last thing you wanted was to see Zayne again. He’ll tell everyone, you can’t have that.

I should just kill him then! 

Before you can enact terrible crimes, your psychotic thoughts are thankfully halted at the hand on your shoulder.

You shove your shoulder away, stepping back until there’s a good distance between you. Zayne sees the fear in your eyes and his movements stop. 

“It’s you,” he finally says in awe.

You can’t look him in the eyes, there’s too many things in there for you to decipher. 

“[Name],” he calls out again. That gets your attention. It’s been so long since you’ve heard another say your name. Even after Sylus found out your real identity, he never acknowledged the name. As far as the world knows, [Name] is dead. 

He tries to take a step towards you but your eyes are trained on him, when he notices the dread on your face, he stays in place.

“Please…just don’t leave,” he begs. It’s so uncharacteristic of him but you’ve always been weak to a pretty man begging.

“Just wait,” he checks his watch, “for thirty minutes. I get off work and we can talk. That’s it. I only want to talk.” The desperation in his voice freezes any hesitation in your mind. Memories rush in your head, the two of you had been so close once. He’d never done you wrong.

[Only if you promise you won’t tell anyone.] It’s a gamble whenever you sign, fifty percent in your favour, either the person knows the language or they don’t. But if there’s one person you’d think did know, it would be Zayne. Besides, your hands are far too shaky to write.

As expected he looks surprised at the movement of your hands. “Why are you…” he notices the ‘don’t ask’ expression on your face. “Fine. I won’t tell anyone if you wait,” he clears his throat and gathers himself. His voice is clearer when he speaks again. “There’s a cafe down the street, wait for me there. It’s going to rain soon,” he hands you his credit card. His eyes show relief when you take it. His phone beeps and when he checks it you know he’s needed. You won’t let him choose between his responsibilities and you so you relent.

[I’ll be waiting.]

He gives you a small smile, there’s a thousand questions on his face that he doesn’t ask.

Zayne watches you through the glass of the cafe. 

You’re sitting at a two-person table. There’s an empty coffee cup in front of you, its warmth long gone. You haven’t ordered any food which worries him. He’d never known you to give up free food.

All his previous attempts of envisioning you grown up fall spectacularly against the real deal. The lashes on your eyes that he wants to count individually. The blemishes on your face have him wanting to know how they got there. The long nails you have that seem almost inhuman have him intrigued. Every part of you tells a story he desperately wants to know but it’s a tale you’re not ready to divulge. 

Maybe you’d rather have Mara around. Zayne isn’t the type of person people go to for comfort. He understands that. He can’t give you what you need.

But, fuck, he’s going to try. For you.

You take notice of him when he enters the cafe. Instead of going straight to you, he walks over to the counter. You watch him confused at the action until he returns with two plates. One has a strawberry shortcake and the other is a chocolate cherry tart. Your eyes lit up at the sweets and he suppressed the laugh bubbling in his throat. He notices your focus on the shortcake and places it in front of you.

None of you say anything, simply picking up your spoons and digging in. Then, like it's second nature, you pick your plate up and Zayne does the same, you put the shortcake in front of him and he gives you the tart. Neither of you can help the wide grins you bear when you realise what you both have done. An old memory resurfaces in your mind.

The five of you are currently on your way to the park, walking through the town. It’s a nice sunny day and none of you had anything going on so why not enjoy each other’s company? 

Calen, Mara and Eiden are at the front, talking animatedly with each other. You and Zayne are walking behind silent. 

“What do you think [Na-” Mara cuts her own words off when she looks back to you and realises that neither you or Zayne are there. The three of them retrace their steps and find the both of you by the bakery, your faces nearly pressed up against the glass.

“They’re at it again,” Caleb says, annoyed. “Why were we even surprised,” Eiden comments. Mara can’t help but watch on in jealousy. You were her friend, it’s her you should be doing stuff like this with.

“Those weren’t there last week,” you let Zayne know, two pairs of eyes trained at the batch of desserts displayed through the glass. “You’re right.” The two of you waste no time entering.

“C’mon,” Caleb grabs the wrists of the two people by his side, leading them away. “We’ll come back for them, they’re in their own world now.” At least he won’t have to share Mara with you today.

Zayne and you have developed a ritual of sorts. Since you’re both just children, you can’t buy all the sweets you’d like to. Each of you only carries enough money for a singular sweet on your person. So, you each order a different one and share. You order a sachertorte while he gets the mille-feuille. 

The both of you sit down and only take two bites. The first to taste the desert and the second to confirm if it is actually good. You groan at the thick chocolate and moisture of the cake, “It’s really good.” Zayne has to be careful with his, it’s made of puff pastry and can easily crack. “The custard in this is perfect,” he lets you know. You swap your plates around and try the second one.

The lecture you’ll end up getting from your parents about having too many sweets is worth it.

The smiles don’t wear off as you reminisce. 

There’s the smile he looked for in each passing person.

The both of you just stare into each other’s eyes, the words of the others in the shop blur out. The comfortable silence you often shared with him in your childhood returns, two pairs of eyes do all the talking. You break the contact by blinking and that breaks him out of his stupor. 

“I..” his words trail off as he overthinks what he’s going to say. You try to give him a comforting smile.

“I won’t ask about what happened. I won’t ask about why you’re not speaking either just…” your breath hitches at the look he gives you, mixed with desperation and yearning. “Let me examine you. Then I’ll be at ease.” 

Your gaze falls over the empty coffee cup as you consider his words. [I don’t do well with hospitals…or doctors really.] 

“That’s fine. We can go to my place,” he negotiates.

You should say no. You should walk out of here and never come back to him, your mind screams at you.

But it’s Zayne. The same Zayne who had left when he hurt the girl he cared about, Mara, not able to deal causing pain to someone he loved. The same Zayne who became a cardiologist to try and make it up to her. 

At your discomfort, a smile adorns his face. “I’m glad to see at least something hasn’t changed,” he muses.

You shoot him a confused look. He pauses, a look of contemplation in his eyes, wondering if he should continue his thought. He does.

“When we were kids you hated being taken care of, even by your family. Almost like you didn’t believe you deserved it,” he explained. “It didn’t stop you from caring for everyone else though.”

You didn’t think anyone noticed your guilt.

There’s a gentle flick to your forehead, snapping you out of your thoughts. You look up at him in awe. “Many are not fortunate to have those who cherish them, so stop running,” his voice is in a whisper, soothing as always.

Ironically, he speaks nearly the same words you had to Caleb. You were always the biggest hypocrite you’ve met.

[Okay.]

The ride to his place is silent.

True to his word, it starts to pour heavily. You worry for Mara when you can hear thunder. Is she still afraid of it? Your gaze is out the window, committing each image to memory. Fauna and flora were scarce in the N109 zone but they flourish here in Linkon city. It’s nice to see. Linkon city looks so alive compared to what you’ve become used to.

Zayne opens the door for you as you get out of the car. His house is just what one would expect of him. White and black are the primary colours. Everything is placed neatly and organised in a fitting manner. It still feels like a home, you can tell the place is cherished. 

“Come to my office,” he leads you into a room. He gestures for you to sit at the chair by his desk and you do. 

His hand reaches for your scarf. “I’m going to take this off now. Is that okay?” You nod and wait with bated breath as he works on removing it, gently pulling out any hair tangled in it. His gaze is like steel when he sees the scar. You stop breathing all together when his fingers trace over it before removing them completely, his hand clenched into a ball by his side. Even his anger is silent. 

[It’s okay. It doesn’t hurt at all. I’ll speak again, don’t worry.] You don’t like seeing him like that. His eyes soften at your words. Only you would try and comfort him about your injury. He kneels before you, hands reaching your left one. He looks over the injury he had caused. He doesn’t have to speak for you to hear his thoughts. You pull your hand out of his.

[Not your fault.]

“How did you stop me that day?”

When you don’t make a move to sign, he sighs. Another secret…

“Neverm-”

[If I knew I would tell you. Truth is my body moved on its own that day. I haven’t done it since then.]

“Ah.” 

You can’t help the giddiness as you look over the boy you used to know. He’s become a man now, he’s become the Zayne you used to squeal over. Part of you misses the chubbiness he had in his face but the other part appreciated the sharp look he has now. He’s grown even more taller, and his clothes do a bad job of hiding the muscles underneath. And - oh wow- his eyes are so beautiful. You could look at them all day and never be bored.

Due to his stoicism, many like to paint him as a cold and indifferent person. You yourself thought he’d be like that with you, that his kindness was only reserved for the MC. You had been proven wrong every step of the way. You know better now.

That unlike his evol, Zayne is warm. Not in the way of body temperature or even his outward personality. He was warm in the way he adores animals. In the unique way he shows his care. In his touch. In the way he’d always been careful to never hurt your feelings growing up. You could go on about him all day. None of these things were noticeable at a first meeting with him, maybe even the second but you’re glad he let you in so you could learn them.

You have no doubt that he’s an amazing doctor. His patients must feel so lucky knowing that their physician will advocate for them and has their back. There are only four people that restore your faith in humanity and he’s one of them.

Without thinking, your hand reaches out and cradles his face. He lets out a gasp at the contact before engulfing your hand with his and leaning his face into your hand further. His eyes close and the peaceful expression on his face does not help the erratic beating of your heart.  

“I’ll make some tea. Would you like that?” He’s staring at you so earnestly as he kneels, your hands still touching. You lick your suddenly dry lips, all too aware of how his eyes follow the muscle. You nod. This was getting too intimate. He lets go of your hand and stands up. “I’ll be back,” he says.

You decide to survey his office while you wait. The chair you’re sitting on is comfortable. What catches your attention is the bookshelf mounted on the wall. You stand up and walk over to it. Your fingers trace over the spines.The books on it are mostly medical journals and none of them interest you. You stop before an item, one very familiar to you.

A record player.

You remember how frantically you had gone into every shop you came across, looking for a fitting gift. To your luck, you came across a shop with vintage goods. There had been many, in various colours but you thought Zayne would appreciate the dark wood one. The record player was small enough to carry in one’s arms. You picked out two music tracks to go with it. To your utter relief he had loved the gift. 

The shop had become a regular place to go with Zayne. It had a variety of vinyl records as well but they were expensive. The two of you would save up for them one by one. You helped him amass quite a collection. 

“You noticed it,” his words don’t surprise you. His steps in the kitchen and the noises of him preparing the tea were all clear to you, so was him making his way back. He’s holding a tray with two steaming cups on it. He sets it down on the desk and walks towards you.

[I can’t believe you still have it.] He shoots you an incredulous look. “Of course I did. I make sure to keep it in good condition as well.” He goes over to his desk, pulling out a drawer. The record in his hands is one you know very well. All the artists on these records were unknown to you and this record is no exception. Except for the fact that you ended up becoming a huge fan of the artist. It’s a classical melody. The notes are simple but are so hauntingly beautiful. It’s engraved into your heart.

[It’s our song.]

“Yes it is.”

He places the record onto the player. Familiar music begins playing. You close your eyes to take it in, your head bopping to the tune. Zayne watches as you do the same notion you had when he first played the record. It’s soothing that some old parts of you still remain.

When your eyes open, you stare in shock at his outstretched hand. His cheeks glow with a red hue.

“Indulge me.”

Please. 

You stare at his palm.

What are you thinking, Zayne? She’s not ready for something like-

You place your hand in his. 

He stares in awe at the flustered look you have. It’s him that’ll need a heart transplant if you keep this up.

Your fingers lace together and he uses the momentum to gently pull you closer. His other hand goes on your lower back while you keep yours on his upper arm. You push your face into his chest as you sway together, you can’t handle looking into his eyes. You dance for a while completely unaware of the turmoil in his mind.

You feel his face move closer to your head. He places a tender kiss to the side of your head. Everything you’ve been holding in seems to break. He holds you tighter when he feels you shake, the wet of your tears decorate his neck. His hand caresses your head over and over again. It’s comfort at its best.

“I’m here,” he whispers against your head. “Let it all out.” It kills him inside how much you seem to need this. How he can’t even hear your cries. It’s fine, he’ll take whatever you give him.

Later, Zayne carries you to his bed. You had cried in his arms for nearly an hour until you passed out from the exhaustion. He lowers you onto the bed, making sure to take the coat off. Pulling the duvet over you, he sits down by your side and examines your face. Your eyes were puffy from the tears but it looked like you really needed this.

As much as he doesn’t want to, he gets up to leave. His movement is stopped by a hand on his wrist. ‘Stay,’ you mouth at him. You push yourself to the other side of the bed, patting the spot you were previously on. He gets on and settles in. You give him a sleepy smile and doze off.

He doesn’t sleep.

Watching you is enough.

You should’ve left. You should’ve gotten into a car and drove off. You should not have stayed. Because you’ve given a very desperate man a taste of you and he’s not letting you go now.

Tag List: @serenity-loves-red @crimsonmarabou @reni502

[starsonablackboard]

it's fascinating to me that every member of the party pre- and during loops treats siffrin with some flavour of alienation. like, bear with me. this post is going to sound like im here to give a hot take that the party are Bad Friends, Actually, but i promise you that's not what i mean. you're with me? okay. let's go.

isa idolises him (in the having a crush on someone type of way).

mira views them almost as a book character (the whole "the aura! the mystique!" conversation).

odile calls them a child to their face multiple times.

bonnie is... well, bonnie. kid is coping how they manage.

in the very beginning of the journey we have isa and mira, who, out of all five, are the most familiar to eachother. they're from the same country, they both actively follow the change religion, they both occupy (or occupied, in isa's case) well-respected positions in society, they're very close in age and i would assume socioeconomic statuses. they share a lot personality wise, too. they're both anxious about not being enough, about not changing enough, they're both open and emotional and affectionate, they even both like romance novels! they are very in eachother's comfort zones. they are very understandable to eachother.

then there's odile. she is as different as it gets – she's ka buan (and well half vaugardian but nobody knows that), she's old, she has different religios beliefs and different history with body craft, she's confident, self-secure, reserved, sarcastic and at times cold and makes it very apparent that she's not into openly displayed affection. but also, she is actively choosing to be seen this way. she is comfortable with being perceived like this.

and then, there's siffrin. a mysterious traveler with mysterious past that doesn't like to be touched and never talks about his feelings. where are they from? what he believes? what did he do prior? why did they join them? noone knows. situation kinda similar to odile's, but kicker is, we know siffrin does not want to be seen this way.

mira, being a somewhat sheltered not very experienced young adult (she's from dormont with population less than a regular highschool class, and has been living in the house for some past years) with more familiarity with books than with real world obviously views them more as a cool character than a person. and i can't blame her! siffrin doesn't help her view them any differently either.

isa i assume catches feeling almost immideately (the whole journey takes less than a year, sif is second to last to join and we know that isa's crush has been going for months) and it's universally hard to not idolise and idealise the person you're having a crush on, so even tho isa is more experienced than mira, i imagine he fails to see siffrin as a whole person too.

odile out of all of them grinds my own personal gears the most. i love you, old wise lady, but oh god. the amount of times she refers to the party and in particular siffrin as kids or children is sure something. and the thing with kids is that you generally don't view them as equals, so, no "seeing siffrin as a person that he is" there either.

that's general dynamics. now to what interactions we actually see in game:

odile mocks siffrin for being forgetful. every time siffrin forgets a word, everyone reacts as if they don't remember that vaugardian isn't siffrin's native language. both isa and mira behave patronisingly towards them (jokingly, but still). the whole party spends some time comparing siffrin to a wild animal in the dictionary conversation, mira saying "what a perfect analogy" with stars in her eyes. one time siffrin desides to open up and tell them about stars, they mock him. when he kills that sadness more violently than usual, they all look at him as if he murdered a baby (i still don't really get why btw. they've been fighting side to side for months). the whole ghost event. ohhh ghost event my beloved.

all of these, for me, point to a very deep yet unacknowledged disconnect between siffrin and the rest of the party. the not-understanding. the unfamiliarity. the alienation. siffrin is other even in their own little ragtag bunch of misfits.

now AM I SAYING that means that the party is bad actually?? no!!! for every interaction i named there's multiple others with them being supportive and warm to sif. also, siffrin, famously, is very bad at telling when something bothers them, so noone whould even know if they were doing anything that upset him. and, on top of everything else, i think it's very natural for a party of very different people traveling in a lot of hurry and discomfort and plain mortal danger for months to develop a bond where "i would die for you, my siblings in arms, but i also will poke fun at your religion when it starts to sound too impossible for my worldview. what do you mean stars are there in the daytime too? don't be silly". i actually really appreciate their friendships being imperfect, because it's so much more interesting and thought provoking this way. like, I've been thinking about this for weeks.

and also, this specific type of imperfection plays into the core themes of siffrin's character. to be welcomed, adored, loved, even, but not understood. not recognised. not known. and to not even try to explain untill the world is literally ending.

[trafalgarya]

Hashiras x reader who doesn't know how to show emotions.

Plot : The Hashiras (from Demon Slayer (not all of them)) x a stoic, inexpressive reader. Headcanons.

With : Giyuu Tomioka, Muichiro Tokito, Kyojuro Rengoku, Shinobu Kocho, Mitsuri Kanroji.

tw : giyuu's backstory is briefly mentioned. kyojuro's part involves anger and sadness. shinobu's part can be seen as slightly suggestive, but there's nothing explicit.

gn!reader. reader feels emotions just like everyone else, but they're just not too fond of displaying them.

hi ! so, uh, it's been a while. tbh, i completely forgot about tumblr. lots of things (not in a bad way, rest assured) are happening in my life rn, and i hadn't much time to spend time on tumblr. i won't promise you anything about me definitely coming back on tumblr, as i don't want to give you guys any hopes that'll eventually reveal themselves false, but i'll try.

my english has improved a bit, but i'm afraid it's still shitty, so i apologize if what i say isn't always coherent enough.

one last thing : i'll often mentions headcanons about when the both of you are going to bed to sleep together, but of course, these are when the characters in question aren't assigned on a mission.

Giyuu Tomioka

Giyuu himself doesn't like to publicly showcase his emotions, so you being inexpressive as well is kind of a gift for him. Don't make me say what I haven't, though ! He'd love you just as much if you were someone expressive by nature, but you being inexpressive suits him even better, because he knows you'll understand how he feels about this subject.

Both of you being a stoic couple doesn't prevent either of you to show your love for the other, though. You're just... not doing it outside closed doors. Hugs and kisses are at the rendezvous once both of you find yourselves in a quiet place where you know you won't be disturbed.

However, Giyuu isn't too fond of being overwhelmed of affection. Sure, he enjoys feeling the warmth of your body as you lay your head on his chest, his arms wrapped around your waist, and I'll tell you, he even enjoys being the one to lay on your chest. Hearing your heartbeat acknowledges him with the fact that you're still alive and not leaving anytime soon, so he won't be having a mental breakdown about losing one other person he cherishes. He loves the feeling of your hands grasping his, your fingers intertwined together as you enjoy the peacefulness and calmness of that loving moment... That said, I can't really imagine Giyuu being so touch deprived that he'd want affection all day long. He needs a bit of space sometime — not in a "Leave me alone" way, but in an introverted way, if that's the correct word —, and he knows you'll respect it as you're not one to make a scene about such things.

I can see Giyuu enjoying to read in your presence. He'd especially love it if both of you were lying on your double-sized bed, wrapped in each other's arms as he's holding a book for you both to read as you readjusted your position to make yourself more comfortable on his chest. That'd kind of be your dates, I guess ? I mean, Giyuu isn't someone to willingly go outside and take long walks at night.

You're the type of couple to either have deep, philosophical talks at night, rambling about your lives or something intriguing that happened during the day, or the type of couple to stay silent even when you're together, just silently enjoying the other one's presence and the amount of joy they're bringing to your life, no in-between.

If you're the second type of couple, however, that doesn't mean you'll never talk at all. If there happens to be a problem within your relationship, as mature adults, you'll talk through it and find solutions together. Neither of you will leave until you've both found a solution. Giyuu wouldn't mind doing compromises for your relationship to work better — he's not risking losing you just like he did with Sabito, Makomo and Tsutako — and so would you. Despite not showing him at all times, you love him with all your heart, and you know it's reciprocal.

Overall, you being stoic suits Giyuu just fine, and he loves it even better. He knows you won't question his lack of emotions on his face at any times, and that's probably what's keeping him in your relationship. Outside of his undying love for you, of course. He's undeniably the best one to go to if you want some calm and peacefulness.

Muichiro Tokito

Despite his age, Muichiro is a mature boy, and he knows better than to question whether your lack of expression is due to the fact that you're growing tired of him — which you clearly aren't, quite the opposite actually —, because he's in the same situation as you are. Just like everyone else, he's able to grow attached to someone, to cling onto them, just like he can feel joy, sadness, anger, etc.

He knows you're mainly showing your love physically, and privately, and he respects that. Not that he isn't too fond of PDA, but he doesn't crave it, and so do you. So, just like with Giyuu, you both keep your love within closed doors.

However, unlike Giyuu, Muichiro is much more clingy. Whenever he can, he'll go on and hold your hand, immediately intertwining his fingers with yours, he'll stand on his toes and kiss one of your cheeks, having the satisfaction of bringing a faint blush to the inexpressive being you are, he'll snuggle in your arms and rest his head on your chest, immediately closing his eyes to appreciate your warmth the best he can, he'll play with your hair after asking you if you were okay with it... You got it, he's quite the clingy boy.

Speaking of hair. If you have long hair, he'll gladly brush them and style them for you. Just know, he especially love braiding your hair, he thinks it looks good and cute on you. However, if you have short hair, he'll ask you to brush his instead. He's gifted with natural, long, beautiful hair and he knows it, and he wants to keep them maintained. As you do so, he'll probably sit on your lap, crossing his legs as he hums a melody, trying his best not to move too much so as not to complicate you the task at hand. When you're done, he'll reward you with a small kiss on the lips and a warm smile.

When it's time for you to go to bed, you already know he's clinging onto you as if it was the last thing he'll ever do. You're usually spooning. He doesn't mind being the big spoon, but he usually prefers being the little spoon. It just brings him a sense of comfort, he can't explain why exactly, but all he knows is that he loves it. He'll wrap his arms around your waist, snuggling his face in the crook of your neck to smell your scent. It relaxes him and helps him to go to sleep.

You're often training together. As a Hashira, he acknowledges his strength, and he'll go easy on you. The last thing he'd want to do is to hurt you. In that case, he'd act more as a teacher for you, helping you with moves you're struggling with. However, if you're strong enough to keep up with him — first of all, he'd be proud of having such a strong S/O, and that'll make him relax about knowing you can protect yourself — but ultimately, he won't hold back as much as he was planning to. He'll still do his best not to hurt you, but he'll be having fun training with you. It brings him a strange sense of pride and satisfaction knowing that he can freely showcase his strength while you're keeping up with him.

Overall, one of the best Hashiras to be inexpressive with. He's someone understanding, but that said, it doesn't mean he'd hold back at all. You're his and he's yours, so why restraining himself when it comes to showering you with affection ?

Kyojuro Rengoku

Well... He's the complete opposite of you. That man is full of energy and always seen with a smile on his face. He's loud and always up for a challenge, while you're... well... usually quiet and stoic. But, in his eyes, that's what makes your charm !

He's completely respectful of your boundaries. If you don't want to do something he wants to do, then be sure he won't do it. Despite how hard it would be for him to not do it, he's putting your health and well-being before his own needs. Don't want a hug ? That's fine, he can settle for your presence instead ? Don't want to go outside ? He's just as fine staying at home with you ! Don't want to cook ? Just rest in bed, he'll take care of everything !

You got it, he's very respectul of your boundaries and doesn't want to pressure you into anything that could make you uncomfortable. That's the last thing he'd want to do, to make you uncomfortable.

Whenever you need some calm, some relief or simply to talk, you can count on him ! The moment you appear to be sad or angry, he's already sitting next to you. He'll gently rest his hand on your shoulder, or your thigh if that's okay with you, and he'll ask you what's wrong, and if you want to talk about it. He'll wrap a warm arm around your neck, bringing you closer to him, and he'll run a hand through your hair, putting you at ease the best he can. He's someone quite skilled with his words, he'll always find the right words to comfort you, and he'll be careful with his choice of words. He doesn't want to accidently say something that'll make you feel worse than before.

When it's time to go to bed, he'll sneak in the blankets and wait for you to get ready as well. Just know, he's a man who usually sleeps without a top, his torso and strong, muscled, well traced arms displayed, for your eyes's pleasure. If you don't want to cuddle, be sure he'll at least kiss you on the lips. If you want to, however, he WILL cuddle. He's not missing the opportunity ! He likes to be the big spoon, it brings him a sense of protection knowing that you entrust him enough to let him carry you in his arms in such an intimate way. He isn't someone to fall asleep so quickly, so he'll admire the peaceful look on your face as you're deeply asleep, wandering how such a beauty could have fallen in love with him, someone who's so different from you.

When you both are going out, he's always having an arm wrapped around your waist. Not to display affection or to show to everyone that you're his, but to protect you. He knows you can protect yourself, but he's an overthinker, and wants to make sure you're always by his side. You never know what could happen, especially in public places, so he makes sure to at least have an arm wrapped around your waist.

Overall, Kyojuro is someone very understanding and respectful of your boundaries who'll make sure to protect you at all cases. He loves you very much and is always there for you. Probably the best one if you're feeling down, as he's the most skilled one with his words.

Shinobu Kocho

That woman is such a tease. If you agreed to be in a relationship with her, you also silently agreed to be made fun of at all times. Not in a mean way, of course, she just likes to tease like no one ever did.

You kind of remind her of Giyuu, that's probably one of the reason she's "bullying" you at least as much as she does to Giyuu, if not even more. With a playful smile on her face, she'll often do remarks about how you're not smiling enough, and how pretty you would look for her if you had a smile on your face. She's probably the one who leaves you all blushing and flustered the most out there, although you're usually not used to blush and be unsettled that much. You kind of hate her for that, but oh how you love it as well. Kind of like a love-hate relationship.

On a more serious tone, she's always reminding you that it's all for fun. She doesn't want you broken and saddened because of her playful personality. If it ever made you uncomfortable, she'd immediately notice it and stop her remarks. She'll feel remorseful, although not showing it. She doesn't want you to know that.

As the insect Hashira, she possesses lots of medical and pharmaceutical knowledge to make up for her lack of physical strenght — although that doesn't mean she's physically weak, she's actually pretty strong, her physical strenght is simply not enough to cut down a demon's neck —, she's the best one to go to whenever you feel sick. Whether you've returned of a mission and you're full or bruises and cuts, you're having a fever or a simple headache, she has all the best medicines already prepared for you. It won't take much before she finds the medicine she's searching for, and she'll immediately administer it on you. If your case is serious, she'll make sure you're lying on a bed and moving only for the necessary. And trust me when I say that if she has to tie you up on the bed for you to stop moving, she'll do it. She always has some... accessories ready for these cases.

As one of the doctor of the Demon Slayer Corps, she's often busy healing slayers and creating medicines. However, if you need to talk to her about something important, she'll make sure to talk to you while doing the task she's assigned. If she's healing a slayer, you both will talk standing up while she's doing her job. However, if she's producing some medicines, which often happens in her personal office, she'll grab a chair for you to sit. Whether the medicine needs constant attention or not, she'll prioritize you first and will be sure not to make you feel ignored. Although she may not always look at you in the eyes because of whatever she's doing, she's attentive and listening to you, and you know it.

Despite her petite figure, she's not one to underestimate. If, for some reasons, you decide to tease her back and acting bratty on her, may the Lord forgive you, because she won't be holding back. She'll remind you of your place and punish you suitably to how much of a brat you've been. She's not afraid to use radical solutions to get what she wants — as long as you've given your consent of course — and to prove to you that her height doesn't mean shit. It might be publicly, also reminding to everyone that she's not a woman to mess with, or it can be in a private setting, where you won't get disturbed. Rest assured, though, she won't hurt you... much.

Sadly, you're often sleeping alone. As I mentioned before, she's a doctor, and is often busy working on medicines or injured slayers. Even though she's sneaking into the bed at night and you both ultimately sleep together, you rarely fall asleep together. If that's hurting you at any point, she'll find a solution, whether it's to stop working for the night to sleep with you, or to bring you to her office, letting you sleep on her lap as she keeps working, she'll make sure to find a solution not to make you feel abandoned and neglected.

One thing she loves to do with you, even going as far as making it a daily thing, is having breakfast with you. Whether she has slept or not, she'll make sure to take ten to twenty minutes each morning to have breakfast with you. It is a must in your relationship, and you're happy with it, as she's probably the one out of the other Hashiras you'll see the less. She'll ask you if you've slept well, how was your night, etc. If you're not a morning person, she'll just restrain herself from talking that much, but she at least wants you to be there with her.

Overall, she's the best Hashira to go to if you feel sick. She's a busy woman but she makes sure to fulfill her duty of keep the relationship healthy and maintained as your girlfriend. She's not one to mess with, so as long as you respect her, you're fine. She's making sure you know she loves you very much and wants to keep you in her life for a long-term relationship, she doesn't like short relationships where y'all break up over a small argument, she's a mature woman who's talking through everything and makes sure to find a solution while doing her best at work.

Mitsuri Kanroji

Do I really need to specify she's the complete opposite of you ? Even worse than Kyojuro, she's a cheerful and happy being who always showcases her emotions. Rare are the moments where she isn't seen with a smile on her face. The difference between the both of you is so obvious that people can't help but ask how did you two ended up together.

Your lack of expression doesn't bother her in the slightest ; Trust me, she'll make up for the both of you, as the emotional person she is. She finds your lack of expression charming, cute and hot at once. She loves this side of you, seeing you so calm and unbothered makes her heart melt. All she wants to do is to pamper you and shower you in hugs and kisses. But if you aren't too fond of it, that's okay too ! She'll make up with other things she knows you tolerate, such as hand holding, words of affirmation or buying you gifts, often food.

Just like Shinobu, having breakfast with her is a must... except it's not only breakfast. In fact, she wants to spend the three dinners a day with you, she'll find herself all saddened and upset when she can't spend even one dinner with you. She wants to be by your side at all times, even though she knows it isn't always possible and is more of an utopic desire of hers.

She knows you're not talkative, and that's fine by her. Just like for your emotions, she'll make up for the both of you. She's the yapper to your listener. She'll often talk for hours and hours about her life, her day, about that one stray cat she crossed paths with on her way to a restaurant and how she couldn't resist the temptation to caress him, about that new, young and prodigious slayer called Tanjiro she sympathizes with, etc. Sometimes, she's afraid she's talking too much, but you assure her she's not, and in fact, you love listening to her.

Obanai was jealous of you at first, but eventually he realized you were treating Mitsuri well enough after lots of conversations with Mitsuri herself, so he kind of gave up on the idea of seducing Mitsuri and entrusted you with bringing her the joy she deserves to have. Be wary, however — if he hears ONE bad thing you did to Mitsuri, he'll knock your ass, going on and on about how she deserves to be treated like a princess and all. But Mitsuri often gets in his way, stopping him before he goes too far. Eventually, he stopped loving her, realizing you were the one who got her heart, and started acting just a little bit more friendly towards you.

When it's time to go to bed, she's often the one lying in the it first, tired of her day. Yup, whether she has done something or not, that's what makes it funny. When it's your turn to sneak under the blankets, she'll immediately snuggle to you, it goes from simply hugging you to spooning you — she doesn't mind being the little one or the big one, it's honestly up to you — to lying on top of you and resting her head in the crook of your neck. She'll whisper a weak "I love youuu" before quickly falling asleep. She's a quick sleeper, unlike her master Kyojuro, so you're often the one finding yourself admiring her angelic traits as she's peacefully sleeping next to/on top of you.

Overall, the sweetest Hashira to be in a relationship with. She's the one to go to if you need affection and for a sunshine to invade your life.

[worstgenerationloser]

,, Who the hell is FireFist?! ''

Synopsis... Unable to resist the temptation of an internet argument, you accidentally end up dooming yourself by responding to "FireFist." Now, he's obsessed with pissing you off.

Warnings... There are crude comments and remarks, profanity, internet harassment, ... Be advised of this as you read!

Fic Masterlist here!

Tags: @neospade ; @lilink ; @bluetokie ; @kanekisheart ; @ren-ni ; @hauntedlunaa ; @mylifeisamess ; @euriiverse ; @j014xio ; @fruitncandy ; ; @ally-wow ; @spyderst4r ; @kiberrymatcha ; @valkyrie-8

A/N: I know there was a super long wait but surprise surprise i have gotten rather busy and straight up forgot to post this...

Everyone knows the internet is dreadful at times with differing opinions and hateful comments towards one another, some people trying to turn themselves into the embodiment of peace and happiness on their social media pages despite being the literal incarnation of evil… Now, you won’t try and say you’re all sunshine and rainbows, but maybe you get a little defensive when it comes to the things you like, and that may or may not lead to a few arguments in comment sections. Which is exactly your current predicament.

The notification wall on your phone's lock screen displayed one notification from Instagram. There was no doubt in your head that it was the guy who had become the reason for your most recent internet argument.

FireFist replied to your comment: “ dont care, didnt ask. “

Three tips for dealing with internet trolls, and you managed to break the most important one. Everyone says not to engage but you can’t resist the temptation, and that is a bad habit you’re eager to break; but it can also wait for another year or two. Naturally, your anger gets the best of you over an Instagram comment, and you click on his profile again to see if there’s something to use against him. Unfortunately for you, his account is private, and he has five followers, so there is zero chance of you sneaking in even, on a burner account. Just your luck, you had no fuel for your fire besides the fact that “FireFist” had terrible opinions regarding music, and his username sounded like a shitty porno. Despite that, you began to type away, forgetting whatever it is you were doing to try and come up with a comeback.

You replied to FireFist’s comment: “then why r u still responding lol thats sad.”

Not even a minute later, his reply lit up your phone screen.

FireFist replied to your comment: “i can say the same for you LMAOO u want me so bad!!”

Okay, they are just trying to rile you up. And unfortunately for you it was in fact working alarmingly easily.

You replied to FireFist’s comment: “i wouldnt touch u with a 10ft pole, ur probably infectious”

He replied quickly that time, too.

FireFist replied to your comment: “sounds like u rllyy wanna touch me bcz u keep responding to me… its ok to say u want me”

The asshole twisted your words. Do you get defensive, insult him more, or block him? Blocking people is for pussies, and that definitely makes you a hypocrite because you have blocked so many people you reached the limit more than once, but you feel such intense hatred for this internet stranger today that you don’t want to block them. For a while, you try to figure out what to say back without sounding too offended… Ultimately, it's a losing battle, and you can’t figure out where to go from here. Your heart is racing and you feel anxious but you don’t stop to think about why you’re doing things like this despite the reactions they give you.

Then, your screen lights up again. Moving slow as a snail, your hand shaking from anxiety picks up your phone. Yes, it was who you’d expect.

FireFist replied to your comment: “don't be shy, im open minded ;)”

That sets you off. Really bad. Clenching your jaw uncomfortably tight, your hand clicks on his profile, then the three dots in the corner. There, that bright red text greets you. 

Block.

Are you sure you want to block FireFist? They won’t be able to…

After seeing that text a thousand times over, you just don’t care anymore. You blocked him, and you aren’t expecting anymore of his odd messages anytime soon. Simmering in anger alone in your bedroom, you’re interrupted by a knock on your bedroom door. It’s probably your roommate, Franky. He’s an eccentric guy with electric blue dyed hair that he styles differently every other week, a ridiculous amount of confidence in himself, and that’s not even mentioning his weird obsession with cyborgs. You are sure in another life Franky is living out his cyborg dreams, still having his outbursts of energy.

“Y/N! Wanna come to the pet store with me? I gotta get a new filter for Jinbe!” Franky yells obnoxiously loud through your door. Jinbe, his pet fish who he swears has the spirit of a whale shark, but to be fair, that fish is pretty badass. 

“Sure! Let me get dressed!” You yell back, tumbling out of bed towards your dresser. Your phone can wait! All you need now is to throw on a little something that won’t make you look like you have a bleak life.

“Hm? Were you cooking? The smoke alarm is going off!” Nonchalant as ever, Franky gently pushes open your bedroom door. Wait, why is he holding Jinbe’s tank in his hands? Disregarding his question you stupidly focus on the most irrelevant thing, before your eyes widen in shock. Without an utterance of any words, a string of noises escapes your mouth.You throw yourself out the door, dashing towards the kitchen. Okay, fixing your temper is now number one on the bucket-list, if it allows you to make a mistake this big then maybe it’s a problem.

And with that, you manage to subject yourself to a few months of signature Franky-style teasing. The whole situation is so absurd, even you have trouble trying to wrap your head around why you got so worked up… Looking over at your roommate on the couch next to you, something tells you that he's about to offer some clarity.

“Y’know… You spend a little too much time online. Seriously, you have no idea how many angry DM’s I get from people you argued with in a comment section or whatever. Kinda tiring.”

Franky blurted out loud, cleaning the salt from his chips off of his fingers with an obnoxious sucking noise as the loud crack of a can of cola follows along. It had become a sort of biweekly tradition for you and Franky to sit on the couch and put on some sketchy movies which if the law asks, you legally acquired. Despite him having literally no reason to, he took you in when reality hit you right in your soul upon moving to this town; Franky even invites you places and offers to buy you things when you’re short on cash. He does still annoy you, but it’s in more of an older brother way instead of the way a regular old roommate would.

“There’s no room for you to critique me. I haven’t seen you drink a drop of water since we started living together four years ago.” A rather extensive sigh highlights your softened speaking voice, though only Franky picks up the dash of sarcasm found in your words. He always ends up parroting words and promises you utter to yourself, it’s annoying but you guess he’s just gotten to know you excessively well. You don’t really like being told what to do anyways.

“Hey! That’s a completely separate matter! I am my own person. But–...” Tapping his chin, Franky licks salt from the corner of his mouth after he trails off for a moment. The blue light from the T.V screen makes his hair look luminescent in a silly way and that’s all you can focus on.

“I have seniority over you. I showed you the not-so-local scene, hidden gems, and I let you stay with me dirt cheap! I also know that I’m practically your only friend. Maybe listen a little, because sometimes I worry about you like my own family.” 

Well, he’s got you there. You have definitely neglected your social life— yourself in general. After turning eighteen you bought a lottery ticket, won a decently sized prize; realized that you didn’t wanna live with your parents forever— and following the scent of freedom you landed yourself in this stupid town with a significantly less amount of money, and barely a plan. Eighteen is still very much teenaged, so you thought you would maybe be able to work things out after only having maybe $400 left and the brand-new car you got with your lottery money… No apartment lined up, not thinking of the fact you would have to buy furniture or get a job, just living off the adrenaline rush that came with a change of scenery. It’ll be four years since you moved here in a month or two, and sometimes your life feels just as messy at times.

Looking over at Franky you feel eternally grateful, he would laugh if you ever told him something like that to his face, so you keep emotional words to yourself. With a permissive nod, Franky settles back onto the couch and stares right at you.

“I know you're technically an adult, but I can't forget the eighteen-year-old girl I saw sulking in the streets. It's fine if you wanna be introverted, but you don't go outside if you aren't shopping or going places with me. Plus, being angry at internet strangers is terrible for your mental health. I’m not super into these corny talks, just try and do something without being mad all the time. Start a blog, take up video gaming, things like that.”

Franky leaves you with his words of rare wisdom, he turns the volume up on TV without looking back in your direction. Taking his advice into consideration, you tune out the noises coming from the television and start reevaluating the choices that have led you to this point. 

Pros; you got Franky and a cheap place to stay that isn't a total shit hole.

And the cons… It's best if you ignore them for now, you'll end up on a downward spiral, and not the good Nine Inch Nails album kind of downward spiral.

There's barely any luck when you try to make small talk with the cashier at your local supermarket, and online 90% of the time whenever you voice your opinions it makes somebody angry— the other 10% is when you're upset with someone else's opinion... When you put things like that you start to wonder if you're the problem. Socializing without Franky would be the first step towards becoming a better you! Starting off small is the key to success in your case.

“Okay, now let's just relax and forget all about my blog. Gotta wait for some likes… But I guess here they're called hits.”

Closing your laptop, you sit back in bed. There's an odd rush of adrenaline running through your veins, something's telling you that this is going to be a success. Here you're going to make some cool mutuals, engage in friendly conversation, and hopefully if someone thinks highly enough of you— you’ll get yourself a fan. That's wishful thinking, though. If things go sour you have to abandon this platform forever. The moment you get comfortable and reach for your phone, a soft knock sounds at your door, and you already know it's one of the only people you maintain a relationship with and live with.

“Y/N? Just wanted to make sure I didn't overstep earlier. I know you've never had an issue with it before, but I tend to overthink. You also know that. Tell me you aren't upset so I can post Jinbe on my story with a clear mind.”

Without even seeing him, you can tell by his voice that he's got his face pressed against your door. 

“I’m not!” You shout aloud, getting back into a comfortable position.

“Are you sure?”

“...I’m sure.”

“Okay, but are you sure that you're sure?”

“Rest assured I’m not upset with you in any way or manner, Franky.”

“...Alright, but are you confident?”

He's doing the thing again. Angrily, you walk towards your door and fling it open— but Franky is already scurrying to his room, giggling along the way. His joy is infectious, and you forget about your worries and previous annoyances. Today was productive enough in your book; Franky made some burgers on the grill earlier and invited a few of his more sociable and interesting friends, mentioning how bummed he was that some girl… Whatever her name was, couldn't come over. Even if they weren't there for you it was still nice to have a few laughs with new faces. Then you got in some sun and just let your thoughts drift away; until the creation of your blog, which is still in the densely populated space of your brain.

You forgot all about it until you were dressed up the next morning, scurrying to open your laptop in a daze. More anxious than ever, the color blue highlighting the numbers over your notification's inbox reading “99+” damn near killed you. You move your mouse over to your profile picture in the corner, and check out your post, a simple photo of your outfit with less accessories than usual.

800 hits total. 12 comments. 46 reposts. And your post was added to a few collections, you'd say maybe 20 people did so. That leaves 722 likes. 

Something tells you to check the comments, and after skimming through them, you're comforted when you see nothing negative. You felt comfortable saying this since he hopefully wasn't omniscient, but you're glad you didn't see that FireFist dude in your notifications. Honestly you can't even explain to yourself why he came up just now, but he did. He pissed you off a great deal, so it's valid you're still thinking of him. The positive comments distract you more than that asshole does, though. Starting from the top you begin to read.

NamiLuvsMoney: “def not my style but super cute <3”

When you checked her profile, you saw that she seemed to have amassed a large fan base doing the same as you. That wasn't even mentioning how beautiful she was in her profile picture, so much so that you followed her immediately after verifying it was really her of course. Your eyes move on to the next comment.

SuuperCyborg: “i need my belt back”

It's Franky, you nearly forgot you gave him your blog handle. He doesn't post much but he has an introduction on his page, you follow him after giggling at the familiar profile picture which was the same on each social media page of his. It was the one a show photographer took of him spraying cola everywhere with his hair in a huge Mohawk, there's a few of his friends whom you barely remember holding him up and laughing. It makes you want to go to a punk show with him.

The next comment is just a thumbs up emoji, and the person who commented has no profile picture set. Checking their profile, they only seem to repost historical things. You block them under the assumption bot interactions will mess with your blog's engagement, you did so well on this first post, and you don't wanna ruin that. Goodbye to the blog titled “Bookmark”, it's a stupid name for a blog but FireFist is worse. 

SaDbo: “this outfit reminds me of my little brothers friend. he's pretty kickass and I kinda want his closet, but his eyes are intimidating sometimes. i think you wear it better 👀”

Oh, you've made it. After scanning his profile obsessively, your ego experiences a massive increase. This hottie complimented your outfit. This gorgeous blonde man? Stay calm, racing heart. When you dig a little more you see that he reposts a bit of everything, and you find yourself a little curious about him. Any sane person would follow him. Anybody. Franky would give you a round of applause right about now.

The page suddenly refreshes on its own, and there you see it now placed at the top of the column of comments.

FireFist: “i see you!"

FireFist: “did ya miss me?”

His comments were immediately deleted, but apparently this website didn't allow you to block people on new accounts, so you decided to send this guy a DM in hopes of maybe getting him to fuck off. Preparing an angry DM you try not to sound too aggressive to risk your following of 78 people, which is still pretty impressive if you do say so yourself. Enough about you, more about your aggressor.

“this is really creepy of you to do”

On the other side of the screen, you like to think this guy is old and greasy, maybe even divorced or something. Again, his profile is bare. Nothing at all, just a black profile picture.

“you're the one playing hard to get babe”

His response came quickly, like he was waiting for you to message him. When you read his message and see he called you “babe” that makes you think it would be for the best if he wasn't an old man. This wasn't your first time being harassed online, but this was the first time someone found an account with an entirely different email address linked to it, not to mention there was no indication that it was you. Every other profile is bare, besides your close friends' stories.

“youre harassing me???? on the internet? do you have any hobbies?  no sane person has this much free time”

“how did you even find me, my user is completely different” This bizarre situation is gonna leave you with long lasting paranoia regarding social media. Three dots pop up and fade in and out in the bottom corner of your chat, showing that FireFist is now typing.

“yah i knew you would have a fuckass handle like this bcz wtf does this even mean”

Is your handle really that cringe? The essence of social media is that you can do things with less cares than usual, so you begin to think letting your imagination run wild and ironically choosing your username was a mistake. Does everyone know its satirical?

“youre one to talk, FireFist”

Another message of yours trails behind. The typing begins, but then it stops. And it doesn't pick back up after that. You refresh the page over and over whilst not even blinking, itching for a response so you can say something else without seeming obsessed— but it never comes. Guess that's the end of it. 

At least that's what you thought at the time. Fifteen minutes later is when it happened.

“Y/N! Who the hell is FireFist?!” Franky’s yelling is close, and then your door swings open with such force, the brass doorknob comes crashing into your drywall at record speeds. When the door lightly swings back and forth and lets out of the wall, there's a circular hole from where the doorknob made contact.Damn this shitty house and its fragile walls. To make matters worse; when you look up at Franky he seems angry.

“Shit. Did he do something?” Your anxiety is killing you to the point you barely manage to speak to Franky. Is it wrong to think that this is kind of scary? It's just some dude online, but he's everywhere now. That means the chances of seeing him in real life are slim… You think.

“Something? Did he do something?” Franky hangs his head, his hand gripping the side of the door while he seethes in his anger.

“He trashed my base in Cyborg Utopia! Uh, why are you so nervous anyways?” Then comes Franky’s dramatic outburst, and suddenly the tension in the air dissipates a bit. But you can't shake the feeling that this isn't the last instance of him popping up places.

“Huh? Oh, well— er…”

Maybe you shouldn't worry Franky. He would probably end up embarrassing you by making a few thousand angry posts about him if you told him you had a new internet… Stalker? FireFist falls into that category you suppose. You choose to keep quiet about it all. Franky looks at you expectantly, but you just shake your head. Don't worry about it. His eyes betray him and showcase his momentary worry as he walks away, shutting your door softly.

Wait a second.

“Hey! My wall, asshole!” You scream and stand up, shouting closer to the door so Franky could hear you a little louder.

“Not my problem!”  Franky yells back even louder than you.  The slamming of the front door is heard all the way from your room, followed by the sound of your roommates' noisy, beat up motorcycle speeding off. It's almost twelve in the morning, and he's off again.

Fuck, the week isn't even over. A stalker, a hole in your wall, and an odd sense of loneliness. You do still need friends, after all.

[genericpuff]

Lore Olympus just pulled off the biggest whiff in webtoon history.

I promised I would choose one of two headlines and of course, this is the one we wound up with. But should we really be surprised? Rachel herself seemed to be telling on herself down to the minutes leading up to the finale, fully confirming to us that yes, she's been writing this comic at the last minute, by the seat of her pants, for ages now.

(that second one was literally posted TWENTY FUCKING MINUTES BEFORE THE COMIC UPDATED.)

Welp, let's get into it. Possibly the last essay I'll ever write about this dumpster fire of a comic (but probably not, let's be real LOL)

CONTENT WARNING: DISCUSSION OF SEXUAL ASSAULT AND FASTPASS SPOILERS FOR THE SERIES FINALE AHEAD!

Holy crap, where to even start with this. I knew it was going to be bad. I knew it was going to be rushed. I knew it wasn't ever going to live up to what I had hoped it would be years ago when I was still a diehard fan.

But I didn't think it was going to fall quite this hard. Despite bracing myself for the worst, Rachel has once again let my expectations down through a final display of explosive mediocrity and disappointment.

Yes, the episode is called "You're Welcome", and yes, that instant "ick" you're feeling is the exact same as what we're all feeling. This title plays into the dialogue later, but what a shitty, lowkey mean-spirited title for the series finale.

Now, before we get into the actual episode, the WT ads for this are just... so desperate and misleading.

They are trying SO HARD to hype up something that isn't there, and at the last minute to boot, because Rachel definitely hadn't written any of this ahead of time.

First off, the bit about the gods being in "eternal chaos" of course isn't a stake worth worrying over because Gaia literally does away with Ouranos in the first 5 panels.

Did you really think I was joking about that 5 panels thing?

That's it. That's the death of Ouranos. As mysteriously and quickly as he arrived, he was gone, after Gaia ripped out of him what appeared to be some purple sunny side up - but it's actually, in fact, Apollo.

And that's when we start to get some of the worst dialogue I've ever seen throughout LO. Remember when I said LO's dialogue was like Shenmue 3? Welp, the finale decided to continue that tradition and further fuel the suspicion that this entire thing was written by ChatGPT.

Oh, by the way, that "thank you, ma'am" was Artemis' first and last line of the episode. So once again, just like in Episode 248, we're completely robbed of her reaction to Apollo being a rapist piece of shit and the character development she could have had as a supporting character. The women in this "feminist retelling" really couldn't be more half-baked.

Gaia stumbles upon Persephone, and I'm not even gonna fucking bother showing the panels where Gaia says it's time to "make things right" because they literally don't matter. Why don't they matter? Because Rachel just had to get in one more pointless time skip.

We're shown a sequence of pointless images that I'm not gonna show as I don't want to waste my image limit on them, depicting Hades having a sad day because his small wife isn't with him and oh nooo what could have happened?? Did Persephone finally divorce him ??

Nah, we couldn't possibly have an actually happy ending in this comic. Instead we get a completely pointless phone conversation between Hades and Hecate-

Not only is the grammar particularly bad in this episode, but the actual script-writing is atrocious. We literally did not need this phone conversation to happen because-

-we're cutting BACK TO THE PRESENT THAT WE JUST CUT AWAY FROM FOR A 3 MONTH TIME SKIP. FOR NO REASON BESIDES SHOWING HADES BE SAD OVER SOMETHING THAT ACTUALLY ISN'T THAT BIG A DEAL, AS YOU'RE ABOUT TO SEE.

I- I LITERALLY HAVE NO WORDS. I HAVE NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS. ALL I CAN HEAR IN MY BRAIN IS THE LEGEND OF ZELDA ITEM GET MUSIC-

-BECAUSE THIS WHOLE THING SUDDENLY SOUNDS LIKE SOME CONTRIVED FETCH QUEST. WHAT DO YOU MEAN HADES AND PERSEPHONE HAVE PROVEN 'TRUE LOVE' IS REAL? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY HAVEN'T USED 'LOVE' AS A FORCE FOR DESTRUCTION?? ARE WE FORGETTING THAT HADES MUTILATED A GUY IN THE NAME OF 'LOVE'? THAT PERSEPHONE LITERALLY INVADED THE HOME OF HADES' CANONICAL FIRST WIFE BECAUSE SHE FELT MILDLY THREATENED BY HER?

This whole concept of "true love" that Rachel is trying to convey feels so juvenile especially for a series that has sold itself as being mature and thought-provoking and progressive.

HAHAHA SO FUNNYYYYYYY why does Rachel write like this. this is, at best, the writing of a 13 year old on fanfiction.net, which I SHOULD KNOW, because I WAS ONE OF THEM. BUT I'M 28 NOW AND RACHEL HAS ANOTHER 10 YEARS ON ME.

Okay, this is the part where I'm CONVINCED Rachel either just mashed this into the episode in the MINUTES leading up to its release, or she used ChatGPT or something. Because NONE of this dialogue makes any sense. Beyond how stilted and lifeless it is (seriously, this dialogue reads like something from Empress Theresa) Gaia is clearly meant to 'replace' Erebus here which I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO EVEN EXPLAIN IS SO FUCKING DUMB, but ALSO what is even Persephone trying to communicate here? "That is true, but it was a deal I was willing to make and ties me to the Underworld. Please don't change me." What? Gaia hasn't even insinuated that she's going to do anything to Persephone, why is Persephone immediately jumping to this conclusion? What does 'changing' her mean? Is she asking Gaia not to force her to sacrifice something (which she never did)? Or is she asking Gaia not to strip her of her Underworld status? Because again, why is that even something Gaia would do?

Maybe this is harsh but I'm pretty sure even Empress Theresa is more coherent than this, what in the flying fuck is Gaia talking about?

"I can just see the potential for conflict! To relieve you from the burden of the whats, the hows, and wheres." Like... okay, first of all, that second sentence isn't even a complete sentence, it's a dependent clause left hanging, but also what the fuck does this MEAN. Is she EXCITED for the conflict but then contradicting herself by saying she wants to relieve Persephone of that conflict? Or is she saying she can see the conflict it would cause for Persephone to have to perform duties in both realms and trying to insinuate that she's going to relieve her of those complications?

Here's what I think happened - I think that second 'sentence' wasn't supposed to be a sentence, but the start of the sentence to the next panel-

So with that theory in mind, the sentence becomes, "To relieve you from the burden of the whats, the hows, and wheres, you are to spend three months in the Mortal Realm to do spring and the rest of the year in the Underworld. That seems fair to me."

It's still a very poorly written line of dialogue, but at least with that fix in mind it makes sense. But man, you can really fucking tell this episode was submitted at the last minute because that's a serious syntax error that should NOT have happened in this two-time-Eisner-winning comic.

Errors aside, it's clear that Rachel is following through on having Persephone spend only three months in the Mortal Realm, rather than the traditional six. There ARE other translations that have that number closer to four, but those four are the time she spends in the UNDERWORLD, meaning she's always spending either equal or MORE time in the Mortal Realm. Of course, Rachel doesn't want her self-insert small wife power fantasy to actually have to be separated from Hades despite this being a retelling of The Abduction of Persephone, so instead of her spending three months in the Underworld, she's now spending them in the Mortal Realm, literally doubling the MINIMUM amount of time (four months) she was originally meant to reside in the Underworld.

But oh no, apparently those three months are STILL NOT SHORT ENOUGH FOR PERSEPHONE-

Of course, Rachel "Retcon" Smythe had to have her cake and eat it too. I always worried something like this was a possibility, but I never thought she would actually prove me right - not only is Persephone only separated from Hades for three months out of the year, but actually he can visit her any time he wants to, so really, they're not separating at all.

I think Rachel needs to look up "reunion" in the dictionary, because if you can visit each other any time, then that means the 'reunions' are no longer special occasions. This completely removes any semblance of depth or meaning from all of the storytelling leading up to this, all of it with the expectation that this was a retelling of the Abduction of Persephone, because that's what Rachel said it was going to be. At this point it's safe to say that Rachel has zero business attempting to "retell" mythological stories, because she doesn't even seem to grasp the concept of why they were written the way they were to begin with. Either that, or she really just doesn't care, and the only reason for making LO a Greek myth comic at all was to propel her career.

This also brings me back to those promotional ads, the other one that posed the question, "Will sacrifice be enough to bring these two back together?"

This is stating the obvious, but I need to make it perfectly clear - Hades and Persephone have never sacrificed a single thing. The only thing they could POSSIBLY quantify as a "sacrifice" is "not being tied at the hip for a few hours", because even Persephone going on the equivalent of a work trip next door is apparently enough to make Hades sad as we saw in the 3 month time skip panels. Why is Hades so sad and lonely if he can visit her any time? Why is he acting like he hasn't seen her in years when he's actually on his way to reunite with her? Why is Hecate calling to ask him if he's "okay" as if he JUST got separated from her, but actually he's about to literally go to the Mortal Realm to reunite with her?

Hades hasn't 'sacrificed' a damn thing, neither has Persephone. They've both always gotten exactly what they wanted, even at the cost of breaking the story's own established rules. Their 'sacrifice' is equivalent to what billionaires think are 'sacrifices' when they can't buy another yacht or go on that third overseas vacation for the month.

And even outside of this episode, when have these two ever sacrificed anything?

I've tried so hard to think of what sacrifices have been made by the characters within LO, and I genuinely can only think of one - and that was when Artemis chose to go to the Mortal Realm with Persephone instead of staying with her family in Olympus. That was a genuine, selfless sacrifice, made by a character who has been shelved in favor of focusing on the self-centered pink and blue airheads.

Being forced to be apart for a couple days to do the equivalent of a day job and whining about it the whole time is not a 'sacrifice'. Neither of these characters have ever sacrificed anything, they just feel like sacrifices because they have the integrity and empathy of soggy cardboard.

sigh Anyways, we're back in the present and Hades and Persephone immediately decide they're gonna have sex because ofc, and then we get this gem of a panel-

MMMMMM

FUNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY JOKE

For some reason it's just a common thing for people to just be in Hades' home, and they can't seem to get any privacy as a result of this, but I digress. Turns out they still need to have that coronation for Persephone.

There is... so much wrong in these three panels.

First, to state the immediate issues - why the fuck are they mentioning Apollo at Persephone's coronation? Like first of all, no shit Apollo isn't gonna be there, but also, if this is supposed to be an event for and about Persephone becoming Queen of the Underworld, then why in the WORLD is Apollo even being mentioned? This is supposed to be a "feminist retelling" where the victims are empowered and heal from their trauma, but LO once again can't try to show any sort of positive growth for the victims without bringing up the assaulters and giving them screen time. It just goes to show that Rachel's idea of "healing" is purely rooted in the revenge, and not the growth. It's a very high schooler approach to this subject, hellbent on showcasing how all the meanies from the past are losers now and life just sucked for them forever, but inadvertently proving its own point that the victims haven't and can't move on because the narrative is spending so much time on caring what's going on with the abusers. It's the "I don't care! Look at how little I care! I'll prove it to you by putting in the effort of showing you how little I care!" approach, it doesn't really feel like moving on.

It's not about how Persephone and his other victims could have grown and healed, no, Rachel always needs to highlight just how much worse the bullies and haters and abusers are doing to make the victims seem like they've healed by comparison. Don't get me wrong, I can understand wanting to showcase the downfall of a character like Apollo, but this just... isn't the right context for that? Because it's once again taking attention away from the victim to focus on the abuser. It's once again spending screentime on the voices of the oppressors rather than the oppressed.

And speaking of, what the fuck is this punishment even? I knew Rachel wasn't gonna be able to resolve this plotline properly, she never had the capability to, but ... community service? Are you fucking for real? What is this even a punishment for even? Was this EXCLUSIVELY the SA, or does this ALSO include his attempts to overthrow Zeus by poisoning him, nearly killing Daphne, Eris, Eros and Psyche, trapping Eros and Psyche in an enchanted basement, and framing his father's 'death' on his half-sister? Because if so, how in the world is anyone content with community service? He hasn't even been turned into a mortal, HE'S STILL A GOD, so what's to stop him from going "WE'LL MEET AGAIN, SPIDERMAN" and trying something else? How is this a reasonable resolution in ANY context?

This is why I talked at length about what an issue it was to hide what Apollo really admitted to. Because now we really don't know what exactly he confessed to, and thus we can never really see the point of views of the victims outside of just Persephone - and we still don't even get Persephone's, because she just walks away from him and then he gets eaten by Ouranos and next we see of him is him doing community service! Once again, any emotional development that could be given to Persephone and the other victims is stripped away to make room for the point of views of the oppressive men. In this, the two-time-Eisner-winning "feminist comic" that is LO.

And that brings us to the "where are they now" segment. Yes, as we all feared, there's a "where are they now" segment, and it's as rushed and underwhelming as we ought to have expected it to be.

There is just... so much to unpack here, and yes, all of it is delivered in the dumbest way possible that only raises more questions than answers.

So Rhea and Metis are just back and we're not gonna talk about the implications of them being alive again?

Dionysus is a 3 month year old in the body of a teenager / young adult, and his mom is just alive now because Hades conveniently got his hands on more ambrosia and brought her back to life offscreen? But somehow Triptomelus and Hedone are still child-sized relative to their ages?

How did they 'heal Zeus'? And why is he so content with losing his power as King and Apollo being sentenced to community service after making an attempt on his life? How does he feel about the letter that Hera gave him? Did he even read it?

Where the fuck is Hebe in all of this? Is she okay? Do people still think it was her who put Zeus in a coma? Or did Apollo confess to that, too?

You're telling me Hera and Echo are just in a relationship now despite the fact that Hera is literally racist towards nymphs and there is ZERO reason for them to have a relationship in the comic beyond the fans making gratuitous headcanons out of it? How is Rachel, a bisexual woman, so bad at writing actual lesbian relationships and giving them the same amount of attention as the heterocis ones without shoving them into the background as props for insincere queer rep? And what about Hera herself? How did she overcome her role as the Goddess of Marriage to finally divorce Zeus?

"Ares is still a dog!" Haha! Ares is still a Persephone simp! Happy end!

Why is Eros just standing there smiling at the camera struggling to be seen past Hedone who's just floating right in front of him? You're telling me there wasn't a better place to put her out of that entire panel?

"Hades and Thanatos have been making more time for each other. Sometimes they even have a conversation." I'm sorry, is this supposed to be funny? The man abused Thanatos for years, treated him as just a lowly employee when he was literally his adopted son, and now you're trying to play it off as a joke that they're "making more time for each other"? What the fuck is this?

TGOEM disbanded? Why? What about the women who were genuinely a part of it?

Also, Artemis and Selene are just good friends now because reasons? Because they're both affiliated with the moon, I guess? Why is Selene even in this comic-

"They are still looking for Kassandra". Who? And why? This feels like such a last minute addition to acknowledge a character that the comic spent WEEKS foreshadowing only to have her finally appear as a pointless McGuffin, but it's so last minute that it does nothing. I'm assuming it's Eros and Psyche looking for her, but like... why can't they find her? They're gods, tracking down one mortal shouldn't be that difficult LOL ???

And also, where the fuck is Leto?? You're telling me she was an accessory - maybe manipulating Apollo, maybe not - but we don't see what happened to her? Is she just back to being a social outcast then? jesus christ this comic isn't finished-

Kassandra is where the "where are they now" sequence ends, and we're treated to one final horribly written dialogue scene between Hades and Persephone, where they tell each other how much they love each other in a desperate attempt to convince the audience that this is, in fact, a romance.

There's this thing in romances called chemistry, and if you're good at writing it, you shouldn't have to write dialogue like this. You should be able to see how much the characters love each other through their actions, through their small behaviors around each other. It's not always about what they say out loud, it's about what they don't have to say, because when two people really share that close of a bond based on love and trust and chemistry, words often aren't necessary.

Hades and Persephone do not have that chemistry. It has been apparent for years now, but this final exchange really is the nail in the coffin. There are no microexpressions or subtle emotions, no subtlety in their word choice, and nothing unique setting their voices apart. It's all just "wow thank you for being such a wonderful amazing partner, you are amazing and I love you" word salad that has to do all the heavy lifting for the completely non-existent chemistry that's been at its absolute worst throughout this entire season.

And worst of all, despite this story trying so hard to be focused around Persephone, around her story, her trauma and her healing, her voice... it's still all just about Hades. In the end, she's thanking Hades, and forcing him to say "you're welcome". All of it is trying so hard to convince us that Hades has been a positive addition to her life, that she 'owes' so much to him, but we've obviously seen plenty throughout the comic that begs to differ. And even if he were a better person than he is, it still doesn't change the fact that once again, the men are being held up above the women, with the women being grateful to the men who choose them. LO can try its hardest to convince people that it's feminist, but it is, at best, reinforcing the very same structures of the patriarchal system that it claims to despise and rebel against.

We do get one line from Hades acknowledging Persephone's part in the relationship-

-and it falls so fucking flat because it's still about him and what she does for him, and because nothing about their relationship was built on any sort of organic chemistry. There was a lot more chemistry back in S1, but it was still predicated on Hades lusting after a vulnerable 19 year old girl.

Yep, and that's it. That's the end.

Except it isn't because Rachel wanted to try and be smart by including an 'epilogue' that's really just stretching the episode out pointlessly for another few panels. And of course, we had to get another time skip, just a final dose of salt in the wound, this time to years ahead when we inevitably had to reconnect with Persephone and Hades in the future after Melinoe was born.

To recap, Melinoe doesn't remember... because Hades had Morpheus erase her memories.

This plotline has really started to give me the ick because it actually feels very familiar. Bear with me here, because I'm gonna go on a bit of a tangent about my own original work, but it's because I wrote a plotline exactly like this years ago.

There's this... turning point, in Time Gate: Reaper, when the main character Uzuki is kidnapped by a Reaper (see: undead) who wants to experiment on her in the hopes that he can somehow gain her abilities to bond her soul with others (which later allows her to literally possess people after she becomes a Reaper herself). Mitsuhiro, the male deuteragonist who kickstarts the plot by telling Uzuki she's got a limited amount of time left to live (which he knows thanks to his magical death timers that mark themselves on his skin), feels an immense amount of guilt after finding out she was kidnapped by the Reapers (at this point she's been gone for three months), as they were originally after him; he worries that she was made a target simply due to him associating himself with her, and vows to rescue her.

With the help of some other spunky teenagers and anime trope characters, Mitsuhiro does eventually rescue Uzuki - but for the three months she had been gone, she had been tortured, abused, and experimented on, causing her mind to split and for her to lose any sense of awareness of who Mitsuhiro or her other friends were. She was no longer herself after the hell she had been through.

Mitsuhiro's solution to this is to have Springlock - another Reaper with motivations that are not yet clear to the cast - erase her memory. This is not a light decision that comes without consequences - for the remaining duration of the story, Uzuki is plagued by night terrors and panic attacks, unable to really remember what happened to her aside from whatever brief flashbacks her brain recalls in its haze of memory loss. She is traumatized, both physically and mentally. She has lost three months of her life and memories, and doesn't know how to explain why she's covered in scars that are still healing, why she's missing organs, why she's now blind in one eye, and why the sound of scraping metal and ticking clocks gives her panic attacks. Mitsuhiro has convinced her friends that she's suffering from memory loss due to trauma, but only he knows the truth that he forcefully took her memories away from her, without her consent. This was not the right choice to make. It was not noble of him, it was not a grand gesture of love, he made a decision on her behalf without her consent that has now resulted in her becoming a nervous wreck. Sure, she still would have had PTSD if she remembered what happened, but at least she would know why and could then seek adequate help. Without those memories, she has nowhere to begin to heal. And so we see the consequences of this throughout [AFTERBIRTH] and even the upcoming Thread of Fate. It is a long-term problem that is not going to be solved overnight, especially not with Mitsuhiro withholding information from her.

Reading about Melinoe having dreams about her experiences trapped in Tartarus with Kronos ... it felt familiar enough that I had to talk about why the insinuations of this are so fucked up. I know there are people who are gonna handwave it away as "she's just a kid", "these are gods so what does it matter", etc. but ... it just feels like such an oversight to have Hades effectively erase her memory of her trauma and then hint at them still being present in her mind through her dreams. She did not ask for that. And the fact that she's now dreaming about it all does not bode well. But we're supposed to think Hades made the correct choice, regardless.

But none of this is effectively expanded on or explained, because we get one final scene of Melinoe and Demeter visiting Persephone, who has just given birth to... Makaria?

So it turns out Persephone and Hades are just able to have biological children now. Don't know why, but of course they both look exactly like Hades.

What I was really confused by though is the fact that it's Makaria and not Brimos. Do you remember Brimos? The child that was foreshadowed in Hades' original fantasy dream sequence about his future children about Persephone?

Either Rachel completely forgot about him, or she saw all the criticism over the fact that Brimos isn't a confirmed child of Hades and Persephone (rather, an epithet that can apply to basically any Underworld god including Persephone and Hades) and that her "research" was dependent on a book she read when she was 13 and decided to axe that. But she went to the effort of establishing that all the dreams Hades had were , in fact, canon visions of the future, so good job Rachel, you created yet another plothole on top of the hundreds of others.

And that's where the series ends, on a final nuclear-family-photo of Persephone, Hades, Melinoe, and Makaria. Of course, Dionysus and Thanatos aren't present in this shot because this is Lore Olympus and only biological children count /hj

Why Rachel couldn't move the "the end" portion to THIS part, I don't know, but I'm also expecting way too much of the person who finished this 20 minutes before it was due.

So that's it. Six years and that's what we get. I didn't expect much, but I was still incredibly disappointed, as were many others who walked away from this dazed and confused. Maybe it's all the "haters" deserve at this point. But what of the fans? While many of them are celebrating this ending at best and tolerating it at worst, I can't help but think of the fans of this comic who hung on for so long in the hopes it would "pay off", just for it to go out as gloriously as a wet fart.

As for me, I have such mixed feelings about Lore Olympus ending, but none of them pertain to the comic itself. Most of what I'll miss from this comic isn't the comic itself, but the people who have made reading it every week so fun, the artists and writers who have enriched the content with their own interpretations of what could have been, and the experiences of being part of such an amazing community made up of people who are as long-term-obsessed about this piece of media as I am.

I get people who ask me a lot if it's "worth it" to be so engrossed in the LO slander, who assume that I'm going to "regret" ever being a part of it all... but from where I'm standing right now, I couldn't ask for a better view.

Even if I didn't love every minute of it, everything I have here I owe to this comic. This stupid, wonderful, boring, amazing, pile of shit comic.

[lucy90712]

kinda sad but reader distancing herself from jude bc she’s pregnant and don’t know how to tell him and he’s really scared bc he thinks she’s gonna leave him

A/n: I had to give this a happy ending as I have far too much angst to write that I needed a pick me up

Do it. Just do it. 

I have to keep telling myself those few words. In front of me sits a pregnancy test that I can't get myself to take as I don't want to know the answer. Jude and I have always been really careful as he doesn't want kids, I don't mind either way but because he doesn't want them we always try to be super safe. Despite that for the last few weeks I've just not felt right I've been feeling really nauseous and my period is now a week late which really only means one thing I just didn't want to believe it. As much as I know I'm almost definitely pregnant I don't want to take the test as that will confirm it and then I'll have to deal with the consequences.

How would I tell Jude? Would he leave me? Can I raise a baby on my own? All of those questions swirled round my brain as I still just stared at the test. Jude will definitely not be happy but if I am pregnant I don't want to get rid of the baby as I don't think I could handle all the emotions that come with that. If I don't get rid of the baby I can definitely see Jude breaking up with me which I understand he doesn't want kids and he's just starting out his career at Real Madrid he won't want a baby to look after so I'll probably be on my own in a city I don't know with no support. 

It got to the point that all of the questions were starting to eat away at me so to forget about them I decided just to take the test. What no one tells you about taking a pregnancy test is that the few minute wait for the result feels like a century I swear I was pacing back and forth forever before the screen displayed the result. I chose to take a digital test as it would tell me how many weeks I was as that's something I wanted to know too but then I realised that knowing how far along I am will make it feel a whole lot more real. There was no surprise when I finally looked at the test and it said pregnant 4-5 weeks. 

Finally seeing it confirmed made it impossible to hold back my tears any longer. Instinctively my hand went to my stomach as I thought about how in a few short months I will have a baby the baby that is currently growing inside me. The tears were a mix of happiness as somehow I was actually happy to know I was pregnant and anxiety as I have no idea what the future holds. 

~~~~~~~~~~

It has been a month since I found out I was pregnant and I'm now 10 weeks along. A few weeks back I went for my first ultrasound and got to see the baby and make sure everything was ok which it was. Jude still doesn't know, I've tried to tell him so many times but I just can't do it I either chicken out or the moment just doesn't feel right. I know I need to tell him soon as I'm already starting to develop a small bump which will only get bigger and sometimes I think Jude gets a bit suspicious when I won't eat certain things I usually love as I know they will make me sick. 

Over the past month I have definitely been a lot more distant with Jude which has meant he hasn't noticed when I've had really bad sickness days and that I have a small bump growing. It's hard hiding such a big secret from him which is part of why I've been so distant because I just want to tell him and for us to be a happy family but I know it won't go that way and I can't bare the thought of that. I love Jude so much and I don't want to ruin our relationship but I know at some point I'll have to tell him and deal with whatever heartbreak comes along with that. 

No one apart from me knows about my pregnancy not even my parents or my friends I have kept it a complete secret. Today though I'm seeing my friends and I know they are getting a bit suspicious as when we go out I'm always tired and I don't drink anymore. We aren't doing much today just going for brunch so I got up after Jude left for training and went to where we were supposed to meet. Once everyone was there we went in and got a table and I lasted less than a minute before the smell of someone's food made me feel so nauseous that I had to run to the bathroom. My best friend joined me to make sure I was ok but I knew she wasn't convinced when I said I was fine. 

"Are you ok?" The rest of the group asked 

"Yeah I'm fine" I said 

"What's going on girl you've been acting weird for a while now" my best friend said 

"Ok you guys can't say anything to anyone but I'm pregnant I found out a month ago and I've been hiding it because Jude doesn't want kids and I don't know how to tell him" I admitted 

None of them really knew what to say they all knew that Jude didn't want kids and a baby was never supposed to be part of our lives so they were as shocked as I was. After the initial shock they all started giving me advice and telling me everything would be fine. They all tried to reassure me that Jude wouldn't leave me when he found out but they did say I need to tell him at some point soon and I agree but it's hard to find the right words to say. 

Once I got back home I just sat in silence thinking about life and how I got to this point. I was so consumed with my thoughts that I didn’t hear the front door opening or Jude calling my name as he entered the house with increased panic when I didn’t reply. I only came back to reality when he was stood in front of me catching his breath after I nearly gave him a heart attack. There was a lot of staring at each other as I tried to find something to say while he tried to read me and work out what I was thinking. 

“Love are you ok and before you tell me you’re fine I know you’re not you’ve been acting strange for a while and I just want to know what I can do to make things better” he said 

Hearing him say that was too much for me I just burst into tears right in front of him. His arms made their way around me and he tried to calm me down but that didn’t help. This last month I’ve held back all of my emotions about this whole situation and now they are coming out all at once and I can’t hold them back any longer. I tried to tell him but the words couldn’t escape my mouth so instead I grabbed his hand and took him upstairs with me. I kept my pregnancy test and ultrasound pictures hidden away in my wardrobe so I found them and just placed them in Jude’s hands. This isn’t how I wanted to tell him but I think it’s the only way I can do it without having another breakdown. 

“What is this?” He asked 

“I’m pregnant” I said 

“I’m sorry I know you don’t want kids and we are always careful I don’t know how it happened and I just I’m just sorry” I rambled 

“Hey it’s ok calm down how long have you known?” He asked 

“I’ve known for a month and I’m 10 weeks now” I said 

“Wow we are going to be parents” he said hugging me tightly 

“Wait you aren’t mad” I questioned 

“No of course I’m not mad I’m actually really happy I know I said I didn’t want kids but more recently I started to change my mind especially seeing you with all the guys kids it made me want that with you I couldn’t be happier right now” he said 

“So you aren’t going to leave me?” I asked 

“Of course not I can’t wait to go through this whole journey with you I’m just sad I haven’t been there for you until now” he said 

Hearing that was such a relief but not at all what I expected. I’ve always been told things happen for a reason and this is one of those things I guess. Naturally Jude had a lot of questions so I told him everything like everything I know about the baby and how I’ve been feeling as he wanted to know how I’ve been coping. It felt so good to finally tell him everything and he seemed so genuinely happy which allowed me to actually think about how excited I am too as that’s something I’ve pushed away until now. 

After a long conversation we both went silent and just took a minute to take in what has just happened. As we sat there Jude’s hand made its way to my shirt which he lifted up slightly and just rested his hand on my tiny bump. I watched as the smile on his face got even bigger than it was before I could see him look at my almost non existent bump with so much love that it almost made me cry. This whole thing doesn’t seem anywhere near as scary now that I know Jude is here to support me and I already know he’s going to be the best dad if he loves our baby this much already. 

[tryingahandinholdingapen]

let's combine some tropes

- red eyes are blessed (and therefore Tobirama has been hiding his face (and possibly generally his appearance via seal) bc they're not sure what Uchiha do with red-eyed people)

- Tobirama is a v strong sensor

- He finds Uchiha chakra in general and Madara's chakra in particular to be v pleasant

- He sometimes hides at the edge of Uchiha land borders when he's having a bad day, or just when he feels like it, in order to better immerse himself in chakra he finds comforting

- (and also Butsuma Sucks. he's abusive to his kids, esp Tobirama bc woe red eyes akin to sharingan and Butsuma's never been the most rational about his hatred. on a related note he's a passable clan head but he'd be a lot better if he didn't let said hatred guide his actions more than his reason)

...I don't think this post will get too long but I say that every time and then it does so maybe I should just preemptively stick a read more here??

basically au in which, from a p young age, Tobirama sneaks off to chakra bathe when he's sad or stressed. the Uchiha clan haven't actually found any red-eyed people in a while so the Senju aren't sure what they do with them but rumours still abound and all the rumours Tobirama have heard have generally been... well they've been bad. very bad. but they've also all had a common theme of 'the red-eyed person is not immediately killed on the spot', which is better than Tobirama could hope for from Uchiha as the Senju surety heir. so anytime he's hiding/skulking around the edges of Uchiha land, he makes sure that, unlike usual, his true appearance+eyes are on display as well as ensuring he doesn't have the Senju mon on him anywhere

he absolutely does not want to get caught by the Uchiha but also it's only sensible to take precautions so that if the worst case scenario happens and he IS caught trespassing, he should at least have a bit more time to try and escape, bare minimum, right?

so that's Tobirama's side of things

the Uchiha side of things is more like

okay they haven't found a Blessed in some time now and it's not like there's a strict manual what you should do if you find one. it's more like "these people are important, don't hurt them if at all possible, help and protect them if at all possible, bringing them into the clan and teaching them abt all things Uchiha including our religion would be a very good thing". so there's like some guidelines but it's fairly vague

this means the patrol predominantly made up of fairly new shinobi has absolutely no idea what to do when a while after sun-down they come across a Blessed child fast asleep, but slowly blinking awake, in the branches of a tree near the edge of their lands. like. hello?? small child?? why are you here how are you here do you want some soup

they're only standing around in confused and slightly awed shock for like, 3 minutes MAX but unfortunately that's long enough for the child to wake up properly, take one look at the patrol and then fucking bolt off Uchiha lands

cue surprised and self-recriminating cursing from the Uchiha shinobi. they can't just abandon their patrol route and they're somewhat wary of a potential trap for (relatively) newbie shinobi, so they don't all go after the child. but they do send their fastest after the kid because cmon that's a tiny Blessed!!

no luck, they return empty handed

apparently the Blessed child is unreasonably fast and tricky

damn

what now?

baby Tobirama returns home absolutely furious with himself. he can't believe he fell asleep!!! of all things! yeah he was exhausted and yeah he was snuggled up in warm comforting chakra but to fall asleep in enemy territory! he's so mad at himself. it was stupid and it was reckless and it was incredibly selfish of him to risk such a thing when his family, his clan, need him and- (continues telling himself off for like, 3 hours, until his brothers eventually manage to distract him from his horrible mood)

he doesn't return to Uchiha lands for ages after that. but he does, eventually, return

he isn't spotted every time he sneaks onto Uchiha lands, far from it, maybe one time in twenty or less, but it definitely happens enough times that they must know there's a little red-eyed child who keeps skulking around their territory and then bolting whenever he's spotted. oops. regardless he's very stressed and very sad because one of his little brothers is now gone (I kind of want this to be an au where his brother lives but is now stuck in an arranged marriage/learning to be a diplomat in the capital or smth, but regardless of how Kawamara is gone now and baby Tobirama is very sad abt it) and despite how many times they've spotted him, none of the Uchiha have actually managed to catch him yet, so he deems it worth the risk. (he maybe is not thinking incredibly rationally rn and just willfully disregarding anything against what he wants to do. give him a break his life sucks rn let him have this one thing)

meanwhile the Uchiha are like. where is this tiny Blessed child coming from/going to and why does he keep running away from us? like okay we know there's some horrendous rumours abt what we do with Blessed and we can't correct those rumours bc doing so risks others using Blessed against us but like....if that was the reason this kid was running from us then surely either he'd be trying to hide his features or he'd stop sneaking onto our land?

.....maybe he's not worried abt us noticing there's a Blessed child on our lands. he doesn't seem TOO bothered by us getting glimpses of him in the relative distance after all. so...he doesn't want us to see him close up? why?

..maybe he's like, really obviously from a neutral/enemy clan or something when you get a better look at him? hmmm

maybe he'll let us talk to him/catch him eventually if we keep trying. I mean it doesn't seem like he plans to stop sneaking onto our lands and WE'RE certainly not going to stop so surely its only a matter of time before he realises that if we wanted to actually hurt him we absolutely could have been throwing jutsu or weapons at him from this distance or senbons laced with sedatives or-

(should we do that instead actually? hit the kid with a sedative, deal with the rest later?

no, then we might permanently fuck over any chance of him ever trusting us and that would make helping/protecting/integrating him SO much harder

urgh. you're right I guess. okay)

anyway. maybe the little Blessed kid will relax eventually

(Tobirama does not relax eventually)

they've fallen into a frustrating stalemate in which Tobirama will fairly frequently lurk around Uchiha lands and occasionally an Uchiha will spot him and halfheartedly attempt to catch him, only to fail because Tobirama is unreasonably fast (....part of me wants to start spouting my mokuton secondary agenda again here to explain his Speed) and also they're trying not to hurt him in any way which makes it a lot harder

Tobirama has technically relaxed somewhat in that he's now significantly less worried about the prospect of the Uchiha hurting or catching him (as long as he's obviously red-eyed and absent any Senju mon, at least, all bets are off on missions/battlefields) and has as a result started to a) gradually creep further into Uchiha lands each time bc hey if the Uchiha aren't too much of a threat then it's better to be within the patrols who would stop any bandits or rogue shinobi right? and b) has started wandering off to Uchiha lands whenever he feels like it instead of just when he's near his breaking point. like now whenever he has a free moment he's like 'hmmmm do I want to spend time fucking about with research or with Touka/brothers or do I want to go chakra bathe' and they're all weighed up near equally in his mind

(assuming that said free moment would also give him the time/cover/distraction needed for him to reach Uchiha lands and back without Butsuma noticing, ofc. he isn't stupid nor does he have a death wish. That Man assuming he'd gone traitor would be.............bad.)

so I mean the Uchiha were sort of right in assuming he'd relax once he realised they weren't incredibly intent on hurting/catching him. they were just wrong in hoping he'd relax ENOUGH to let them catch/talk to him

they're very disappointed. however they're also cautiously pleased that the Blessed child has not stopped coming back over and over again, and also that he is gradually coming further into their lands and two months ago when some (significantly less welcome) trespasser turned up and tried to attack the kid he even ran to an Uchiha patrol for help! Admittedly he didn't say anything, or stick around after, but hey he at least trusts them a tiny bit to go to them for help against an enemy, right? Progress! It might take a billion years at this rate but they WILL win over the Blessed kid eventually!

at this point it's been like, at least two years since Tobirama was first spotted. probably significantly more. the stalemate truly is getting a bit ridiculous but neither party is willing to break it for fear it would end badly (and probably specifically end badly for Tobirama/little Blessed child, realistically. given he's a small child and they're an entire clan whose land he is trespassing on, there's v few ways they could break the stalemate which wouldn't risk - at best - the kid simply never returning again or at worst the the kid/Tobirama dying or living but hating+distrusting the Uchiha forever or Tobirama getting kidnapped and suffering [unspecified bad fate bc Tobirama doesnt know which rumours may be accurate but he hates them all])

eventually, fucking years later (I'm imagining Tobirama somewhere between 11 and 16 but truly can't pin it down further it depends if/what plot I include later in this theoretical fic) the stalemate does get broken, but not exactly by choice

Tobirama was on a mission and fairly badly injured. not enough that he's at risk of dying, unless he does something truly incredibly stupid + fucks up his own condition further, but he's in a lot of pain, his adrenaline is sky high, and he generally had a shitty time on the mission. he completed it successfully- barely - but it sucked and he's pretty miserable at the moment. he knows what he SHOULD do is go home and report to the healing hall to be fixed up and then go recount the mission (and his many failures/perceived failures on said mission) to Butsuma but.

but.

he doesn't want to do that

to put it mildly

anyway, the Uchiha is significantly closer than his own clan due to the direction the mission led him in, and he's exhausted and hurt, and his disguise is compromised..

(if it's something physical like a mask/contacts/dyed hair/etc then he lost it on mission or it got washed out due to how So Many Things Happened. if it's something chakra based like a jutsu or seal then he's too low on chakra and too hurt/distracted to maintain it)

...so trying to get all the way past the Uchiha, in his Senju armour but clearly a red-eyed child, when he's too exhausted and injured to guarantee he could succeed in doing so, would be a really bad idea, right? right. like they'd probably see him at best and then they'd know there was a red-eyed Senju kid and far more realistically they'd successfully catch or kill him in this state

so obviously it makes more sense for him to discard everything that marks him as a Senju, whilst he's still conscious+has the chakra to seal it away surreptitiously, and then go nap on Uchiha lands until he's recovered enough to make it home safely

yeah, that's a good idea. he'll do that

(tbf this is a fairly decent tactic but he's also trying to convince himself because when the options are 'soak up the most wonderful chakra he's ever felt and have a nap safely on territory he knows he probably won't be hurt on' or 'go home and get horribly mistreated by Butsuma for doing so badly on a mission before he even gets a chance to rest' he knows which one he wants to pick)

so Tobirama discards his armour and most of his equipment (urgh why is the Senju mon on EVERYTHING he complains to himself) and seals it away, making sure said seal also isn't at all obvious. all the moving he has to do to get this done really sucks because ow. injuries. most of them aren't that bad, a lot of surface wounds, and none of them are fatal, but OW moving so much aggravates almost all of them

this more or less just leaves him in pants, an undershirt, shoes and a kunai pouch. it's....Not A Lot and the paranoia and vulnerability is prickling at him even once he's within Uchiha patrols on their lands and he keeps trying to assure himself he's safe there but it's not working. he's hurt and exhausted and he barely has any chakra left and now he's not even wearing his armour or most of his weapons and he doesn't USUALLY wear his armour on Uchiha lands but he's also usually wearing more and NOT INJURED and more heavily armed and-

to appease his panic so he can actually rest like he'd intended to, instead of just kind of hanging around or scaling some branches/outcropping, he instead finds a tree that has a small burrow at the roots, just big enough for him to fit and evidently not currently in use by whatever animal made it, and curls up in there. he's careful of course not to let any open wounds meet the dirt, that's just asking for infection - thankfully his pants are long and his undershirt has long sleeves, so he just has to curl his hands up in his sleeves and ensure his head is cushioned on the lightweight cloak that thankfully had no clan mon on it - but he feels a lot safer when he's hidden away in an enclosed space

he reaches out to the warm-spice-passion chakra signatures within the Uchiha compound, shifts a bit for the comfiest position he can find in his little hiding place, and finally feels able to relax for the first time since that horrible mission started

there. safe

he falls asleep

meanwhile a Uchiha patrol has found spots of blood and a lot of scuffed up footsteps along their border, plus one spot that's just, a mess of leaf litter and kicked up moss (Tobirama tripped over a tree root when trying to take his chest plate off, immediately felt irrationally angry about it, and kicked at the stupid root to get it back. he then felt stupid himself and pretended it didn't happen. the rest of the mess is bc he was p carelessly dumping his shit on the floor before sealing it away) and they're concerned about it

is this from a fight?? no signs of jutsu tho, or discarded weaponry....hm. at the very least, someone was injured and (given that as far as this patrol knows, all their clan members are accounted for or shouldn't have returned from their missions yet) probably also trespassing

better go investigate

so they do and they find....that's a Blessed. that's the same Blessed that keeps wandering onto their lands, and he's asleep in a fucking hole and bleeding everywhere. oh shit. also where the hell is his shirt?? that is not a proper over-shirt that is underclothing what-

ah fuck what do they do

ah fuck

they know they're supposed to help this Blessed but they also know that a) he's scared of them for some reason. possibly bc he may technically be an enemy to their clan? they have no proof but its a persistent theory over the years and b) he's definitely a shinobi there's no way he could have outran that trespasser without training nor ended up in some of the ridiculous places he's been (hello?? tiny Blessed?? why are you 30 feet up a tree) without the ability to tree-walk

so like. they want to just take him back to their healing halls or something, but if they try that they'll probably just scare the shit out of him and he'd likely hurt them - and more crucially - himself in trying to get away

so they probably shouldn't do that. but they also can't just leave him injured in a hole. he's a Blessed! they can't leave him like this!

so

what do they do??

they have a quiet argument/discussion and ultimately determine that some of them will stay guarding the injured Blessed and some(one) will run back to the compound to firstly explain what's happened + that someone else needs to take over their patrol route and secondly gather what medical supplies they can spare and bring those back here

when the assigned shinobi returns with the supplies they end up accidentally waking the Blessed, which unfortunately immediately confirms their worries because he freaks the fuck out. he seems to want to run but swiftly determines he couldn't get out of the fucking hole + past them without them letting him, and instead twists with a pained hiss, bringing his hands up to hide his face and build as much as possible

which is interesting. he doesn't go to hide his hair, nor specifically to hide the red eyes that mark him as Blessed, no he goes to hide other potential identifiers....which kind of suggests he is indeed from an enemy clan. hm. damn. doesn't make him any less a Blessed but oh boy that may complicate things later on

(hc for the purposes of this fic that as a kid/early teen Tobirama looked fairly generically (mainline) Senju, apart from his colouring, and it wasn't until mid teens when he got a massive growth spurt and his face started changing more that he began to look more like his (outclan) mother and taller+slimmer+narrower than the average Senju, with pointer facial features, and just generally look a lot less like Butsuma+less obviously Senju)

the Uchiha silently and unanimously agree that this would go better if he DIDN'T feel like the wounded cornered animal he currently is, so they get the fuck out of the way. they don't go too far away, still within view, but they make sure the Blessed has a clear run out of the hole and off/away, if he wants. they also ensure that the medical supplies are very visible within that cleared space

a minute or so later they're rewarded when the Blessed stops cowering, and shoots past them faster than they would have believed possible. he takes the medical supplies on his dash past though - victory! woo!

they have a little discussion whilst they wait for him to get whatever he feels is a safe distance away, and decide that yeah that behaviour definitely indicates he thinks some sort of familial resemblance or something is a) noticable and b) gives him reason to fear the Uchiha's discovery of such. so. probably from an enemy clan

but...he's Blessed, and he hasn't tried to hurt any of them or actually get far enough into their territory to spy, or anything like that at all as far as they've noticed, so...?

plausible deniability, they decide. plausible deniability is going to be the name of the game, here

they'll just pretend not to notice he's present/a potential threat and hopefully he'll pretend right back

(also, interestingly, when they send someone to try and follow after the Blessed from a distance, they find that he hasn't bolted away from Uchiha lands as he has every time previously he was spotted. as they expected him to do now, when he's probably feeling cornered and threatened as well as being injured. no, instead he's stayed well within the area the Uchiha patrol (if anything he's actually gone further within Uchiha territory which, what?) and has found another substandard hiding place in which he's using the offered medical supplies to clean and tend to what injuries he can, and then he actually goes to sleep right there. he leaves when he wakes up a few hours later, and they don't try to stop him - REALLY not the time - but. hm. interesting)

anyway that whole encounter pretty thoroughly breaks the stalemate

after that, the Uchiha clan (specifically their patrols) and Tobirama somehow develop a whole new dynamic which honestly is almost identical to the Uchiha attempting to gradually befriend and lure a feral cat into their home, meanwhile Tobirama gradually starts leaving metaphorical dead mice on their doorstep

it's...yeah, it's really weird, actually, but. it's working?? so??

[liiixsturniolos]

☆ " I bet on losing dogs. " ☆

matt sturniolo x reader

warnings: angst, you and Matt break up.

summary; Matt and you were doomed from the start, and you come to realise that's why you picked him...

Listen while you read! 👇

You and Matt are sitting in his van. He'd asked to go on a drive. You both often did this, especially at night. It helped you clear your head, and you loved the sound of the rain pelting against the car windows.

"So.." Matt starts to talk and pulls into a carpark.

A wave of anxiety flutters through your body. You knew what was coming, the arguments, the petty comments, you were constantly irrated by each other.

"So?" You ask him, your voice trembling, hands shaking.

"I- I don't know how to tell you this." He mumbles quietly, trying to put off what he wants to say.

"It's okay. I know what's happening." You tell him, already forgiving him before it had even started.

"Oh. I- well.. we have just argued so much lately. It's not like how it used to be." He says, his voice breaking, as if he were going to cry. But he didn't.

You did, though.

You broke down into tears. You knew this was going to happen. You blamed yourself for how stupid you were, believing this could've ever lasted forever.

You cursed yourself for believing when he'd told you he loved you and wanted to marry you one day.

You shuffled around in the cold leather seat of Matts van, wiping your flooding tears spilling from your eyes.

Matt looks at you, watching you wipe your tears, the pout displayed on your face and his eyes start to burn and water, he feels terrible, shuddering next to you but he doesn't know what to do.

"I'm sorry." He insists.

"It's okay, I agree, we aren't the same together as we used to be, this will be good for us both." You say, lying.

You wanted to grab him by the shoulders and convince him to stay, beg him to work things out, but you knew he'd made a final decision.

He drives you home. His eyes shifted constantly from your face to the road, unsure how to feel or what to look at.

His eyes water, and his vision is hazy as he drives slowly, turning into your street, wishing the drive could be a little longer, so he'd stay with you for a few more minutes.

"Bye, Matt." You mumble, getting out of his car.

He pauses, and it takes a while for him to respond. He stares at you for a few seconds, as if he's re-thinking things, then blurts out. "Bye..."

You turn away, walking up your driveway to your door, hoping he's not looking at you as you start to sob uncontrollably.

But Matts is watching you, longing for you, regretting things.

A few cold tears roll down his face as he pulls the car out of your driveway, watching you open your door, knowing this may be the last time he'll drop you off in this car, maybe even the last time he'll talk to you.

What if 'bye' would be the end of it all? The last thing he said to you?

Memories played over in his head as he drove, the kisses, the jokes, everything was swirling around his mind, every good memory but none of the bad ones.

heyy prettyyy!! Sorry if this was a little sad. lmfao! But reminder to interact with this post if you like it, comments, reblogs, likes are all greatly appreciated!! I love reading comments!!

taglist: @matthewsroses @chrislilcumslvt @pvssychicken @1-d0nt-w4nn4-b3-m3-4nym0r3 @ivysturnss @mattsbitchh

[plutoenjoyer]

jooyeon — a love like this

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

genre: fluff 𓇬 wc: 1.2k

tags: gender neutral reader, mentions of joo being taller, fluff, comfort, reader sad, joo loves you like crazy, drabble, not beta read

warnings: none

summary: jooyeon comes home to you crying and needs you to know how much he loves you.

notes: only wrote this cuz i was sad🤡 still have major writers-block but i just needed something to make me feel better ... if youre having a bad day too, i hope this can help 💗 take care my lovely reader, things will be okay

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

its not often jooyeon comes home to a quiet apartment.

when he visits your apartment after a long day, there's usually the faint sizzle of food being cooked, the sound of you humming your favorite song, or the gentle buzz of some generic reality show playing on the TV. it feels comforting and warm—today, there is silence.

"hey, y/n? are you home?" his voice reverberates through the cold apartment, just a little louder than he usually is, surprisingly remembering you have neighbors next door.

when he hears a slight shuffle and the sound of a creaky door opening, his heart stops pounding and he breaths a small sigh of relief and loosens his grip on the heavy metal water bottle he carries—he was worried for nothing. you'd usually tell him if you weren't home. anything like this is out of the ordinary.

he's about to greet you but stops in his tracks when he sees you. you don't feel the need to tidy yourself up when he's around, you're comfortable being you, and he much prefers it that way. however, when you leave your bedroom you look like a wreck. your hair is uncombed and a bit tangled, eyes sunken with dark circles. a swollen red tinge lingers on your features as you give him a little wave from where you can see him, trying to muster a small smile.

"hey, joo," you're voice comes out like a croak and you're a little embarrassed about it. your watery eyes betray your weak smile, "sorry, i lost track of time. i haven't made dinner yet ..."

his eyes soften. he wishes you knew how his heart broke into a million pieces upon seeing you look so pained.

"oh, baby, don't worry about that—what's wrong? come here." he tells you to go to him but his legs are already moving, dropping his bag and hastily chucking his shoes off to the side.

you don't even have time to explain before he's wrapping his arms around you, his large frame enveloping your whole body. the pressure against your skin feels so ... comforting. it's a weird feeling. it occurs to you this is the first time he's really seen you cry since you started dating—and it occurs to you this is the first time you've really been held like this. it only makes your eyes well up with more tears.

"damn it, i thought i was done crying," you sniffle and give him a pitiful laugh to try and de-escalate your heightened emotions, but it's not long before you break down into another sob, pressing your cheek into his chest in a gross mix of snot and tears. you feel a wave of shame wash over you at the thought, but he doesn't care, never has. "sorry—" you basically choke out the words, "i-i don't know. i don't know what's wrong with me," your hands come up to weakly grasp at his hoodie, anything—you selfishly want him closer, as close as you can get, as much as the world would let you savor this moment of comfort. it's unlike anything you've experienced, to be held so gently, to simply be cared for.

you can't see his face, but his brow furrows in a display of deep concern. god, if anyone hurt you, even thought about it, he'd—

"'m okay," you assure him, savoring the last bit of his embrace before you pull a way just a bit to look him in the eye, "i'm just having a rough day is all."

he looks at you so softly. no amount of snot or saliva crusting at your lips or tears drying at the corners of your eyes or hair stuck haphazardly to your cheeks could ever stop him from loving you. the look on his face almost makes you believe he's sharing your same grief and disdain.

you want to cry again, "come on, don't look at me like that. don't be sad. i'm okay," you need him to be his usual self right now. you're not sure if you can handle it if he shows you how concerned he is—this side of him is so rare and so earnest it makes you melt inside. you can't stand the thought of being the one who causes him to frown.

"y/n," he takes his hand and brushes away some of the hair, tucks it gently behind your ears. he's taller than you and has to lean down a little to look at you straight. "i'm here for you, y'know. you can tell me anything—and i really mean that. you don't have to reassure me, it's okay if you don't feel okay."

his eyes are so warm. here he is professing how deeply he cares for you and all you can do is scrunch up your face to try not to lose composure again. you nod, give him a mhm hm and start wiping the tears off your face. "i know," you reply weakly. it's the truth. you know he loves you to hell and back, but sometimes your mind seems to forget. how silly.

"thanks, joo," your mouth is so mucky with the type of thick saliva you get from crying, but his presence has calmed you down enough to speak real sentences. and suddenly, you can't help yourself. you latch back onto him and pull him into a hug of your own. he feels so nice. what did you ever do to deserve him? "really, i think i cried everything out earlier. it's just—sometimes i think about things too hard and it gets to me, y'know?"

he hums in acknowledgement. you feel it against your chest. "yeah, i know," his voice is laced with kindness and understanding, a softness you know only you'll ever get to experience. when he says he understands, you know he means it given all that he does. "i know, baby. it gets hard sometimes." he pats your head as he cradles you in his arms.

after a beat, he pulls away again and gives you a signature cheeky grin, one that signals to you he's trying to cheer you up, "how about this—you go put on a movie on the couch, i'll order takeout, and i'll tell you about how practice went. you won't believe what jiseok did today ... and if you're feeling up to it, you tell me about what's going on."

it doesn't solve all the torment in your heart, but for a brief moment amidst your pain you feel warm and safe. with him, you know you're loved—you can't help but break into a small, silly grin as well. "okay, whatever that means," a laugh escapes your mouth and he can only smile wider knowing that you're hanging in there, with the return of your familiar sarcasm.

you're about to follow orders, but before you can really leave his vicinity, he pulls you in and presses a kiss to your forehead. "i love you, don't forget that, okay?"

it makes your heart feel full, and your chest feels heavy with a mix of endearment and thankfulness. you take his hand, pressing his palm up to your cheek and leaning into his warmth. "i love you, too."

his toothy smile never fails to make you happy.

"alright, then. what should we order?”

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

masterlist | request rules | inbox

thank you for reading<3

[starlovesganyu]

Your Maid outfit is one of my favourite posts on tumblr, can you make one for the Honkai girls(especially Bronya)?

at your service! (part 2)

❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀

coming home to you in a maid outfit!

thanks for the ask!

various characters x gn!reader

characters: bronya, fu xuan, himeko, topaz, sparkle

warnings: none

not proofread

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

bronya -`✮´-

• she was pretty tired coming home from another busy day at work, but opening the front door to you in a maid outfit jolted her wide awake

"w-what are you...why are you in a maid outfit?"

• your bow and "at your service" only serves to deepen her already intense blush

"h-hey...you don't have to act like you're my subordinate"

• she'll go along with it after realizing that you actually want to be her maid for the night

• will ask you to do tasks that help her relax, like cooking her dinner or giving her massage

• she knows she shouldn't be staring, but you just look so stunning in the maid outfit she can't help but let her gaze follow you around

• she doesn't want to make you work too hard, so after you finish cleaning up the dining table she bashfully asks you come cuddle

• it's also because she can't bear not having her hands on you anymore

"for my final request...c-can i kiss you?"

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

fu xuan -`✮´-

• when she opens the door, she'll freeze up, her a beautiful shade of red creeping into her face

• she'll just stand there stunned for a couple seconds, before clearing her throat and attempting to regain her composure and hide her surprise

"...what's with the outfit?"

(you) "at your service master diviner!"

• her eyes widen and her face grows even more red at the unexpected display

• she tries to say something, but stutters over every word

• the fact that you look so damn cute in the outfit doesn't help her at all

• finally, she tells you to sweep the floors, then darts off into the bedroom, emerging a couple minutes later looking a lot more composed

• asks you to do a couple more things around the house before she feels bad for making you work

"my final request is...if it doesn't bother you...in the future, can you wear the uhm...maid outfit again?

• this must have been the "exceptional event" she foresaw in the matrix that morning

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

himeko -`✮´-

• when she opens the door, a smile blooms across her face, and her eyes sweep you up and down

"awww baby, what's with the outfit? you look amazing though!"

• she dotes over you until you're blushing from head to toe, but you still manage to stutter out the line "at your service", which invites another round of praise from her

• once she has you thoroughly flustered, she asks you to help her clean the kitchen and bedroom

• doesn't try to hide the fact that she is taking in the sight of you in a maid outfit-you just look too pretty!

• she also struggles to keep her hands off of you

"good job! now, i think my cute little maid deserves a reward after all that hard work!"

• your face is promptly covered in gentle kisses, leaving you bright red and a little dazed

• she steps back and admires her work, chuckling a bit to herself

"you might want to wash your face a little more thoroughly tonight. it seems a lot of my lipstick got on you"

• there's a hint of sadness in her eyes when you change out of the maid outfit that night

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

topaz -`✮´-

• she'll jump a little, her eyes widening and face turning red

"w-what's going on?"

• she stumbles over her words, trying to keep her calm in front of the breathtaking view before her

(you) "at your service!"

• she lets out a nervous laugh as she steps into the house and closes the door behind her, almost tripping on numby on the way in

• who knew one the ten stonehearts would be a nervous wreck in front of her girlfriend?

"at my service you said? b-by the way, y-you look good in that"

• i think you've discovered a new weakness of hers...

• she'll just ask you to make her dinner, too nervous to ask for anything beyond that

• when you inevitably catch her staring, she'll apologize and look back down at her work report (you'll catch her staring many, many more times after her first apology)

• when you finally change out of the outfit to get ready for bed, she breathes a sigh of relief, but there's also a look of disappointment in her eyes

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

sparkle -`✮´-

• she'll be stunned for maybe half a second before she's slowly circling you, getting every angle of you in the maid outfit

"oh my..."

(you) "a-at your service!"

• a smirk forms on her face as she continues to look you up and down, head-to-toe

"at my service, huh..."

• she'll take one final look before abruptly wrapping her arms around your waist and pulling you in close

"not that i'm complaint, but since when are you suddenly up for being a maid...?"

• she inquires, pulling you tighter into her embrace, feeling the soft fabric of your uniform on her fingers

• doesn't give you a chance to answer before she's skipping away, telling you to clean the house

• you're only a little bit into cleaning before she tells you to stop, and start on another task, repeating this cycle until she's bored

"alright alright...that's enough"

• she suddenly gets serious, which is a incredibly rare occurrence

"y-you actually do look good in the outfit..."

• her getting all bashful makes your heart melt, and you have to resist the urge to pick her up and just shower her in kisses

a/n: thanks for reading!!!

[fuddsgf]

like i loved you - paige bueckers

warnings: angst, mentions of arguments, drinking.

tags: @patscorner @cherryswisherz @imamartini @bueckersverse @authentic-girl03 @kmoneymartini

a/n: nearly a year later but part 2 of skyfall

bold italics: memories

“do you ever think about the future?” i asked paige as i drew figures on her arms “all the time, why?” she asked looking at me “am i in it?” i whispered looking at her “baby, you are my future. there’s no one else i’ll love more than you.” she whispered back pulling me closer to kiss my head. i smiled as i let sleep take over my body and enjoying this moment.

i jolted awake, the feeling of emptiness coming back. i reached for my necklace just to remember i don’t have it anymore, i gave it back.

i sighed as i looked at the ceiling anything and everything reminded me of her. i reached for my stuffed animal, the one she had won for me.

“ten bucks i can win that for you” paige smiled as she pointed to the light brown teddy bear that was displayed on one of the shelves of a game at the fair, “fifteen bucks you fail” i joked knowing she would easily win at the game, she smiled as she headed to the table handing out a five dollar bill to the game operator. she smirked at me before starting the game, easily shooting the clown with the water gun filling up the balloon. the alarm went off indicating she had won, “what prize would you like miss?” asked the man with a smile “that teddy bear up there” she said pointing proudly to it as i shook my head in disbelief.

i hugged it tighter the faint smell of her perfume still on it. tears pooled in my eyes, all the memories coming back the good and the bad. i got up and headed to the shower, letting the water fall on my body making my tense muscles relax

she stumbled through the door yelling making me flinch, her breath smelling like alcohol, she had been drinking after promising me she would stop. "don't yell! do you even know what time it is?" i whispered yelled as i reached for her arm "don't touch me." she snarled stumbling to the bedroom and throwing herself onto the bed.

i slid down the cold marble wall water running down my back as i hugged my knees, tears streaming down my face.

“do you even want to be with me?” i looked at her, she looked up from her phone, “of course i want to be with you” she said in that tone that made me know she was lying, “okay, be careful and let me know when you are coming come” i sighed as she looked back smiling before leaving the apartment.

i changed to sweats as i dragged my feet to the kitchen grabbing a glass of water, i checked the time, 10:36, setting the cup down i grabbed my backpack and headed to class.

-

walking in the hallway i saw her walking towards me, i slightly smiled as she approached me with a big smile as fast as it happened my smiled faded as she went to the redhead behind me kissing her cheek, right she’s not mine anymore.

i quickly speed up my pace entering the classroom and sitting in my usual spot, i took out a pen and my notebook ready to get this class over with.

the universe had to be against me, she strutted in like she owned the place giving me a slight nod,

a flower was in my locker not any flower my favorite flower, a smile formed on my face as i felt her presence behind me “you like it?” she said, “like it? i love it! thank you so much p!” i said wrapping my arms around her. “wait till tonight i have something special planned” she replied with a smirk “dress casual” she said before leaving.

-

the day dragged out longer than expected, but i was finally in the comfort of my home i threw myself on my bed hugging tiana the bear, the stuffed animal that’s been with me for years, tears streaming down my face as i tried stopping them but couldn’t.

it felt like these past few days all i’ve ever done was cry no matter how much i wanted to stop i couldn’t, the person who felt like my source of happiness, oxygen, and energy was gone. a small sad smile formed on my lips as i looked at my hand.

“i know this isn’t much but i promise that in a few years i will switch it for an even better and bigger one” paige said as she slipped the darry ring on my finger, “paige, you don’t have to worry about switching it out this one is beautiful” i said admiring the gold ring as i pulled her in for a sweet kiss, “i love you” i whispered into her lips resting my forehead against hers “i love you forever and always” she smiled softly as she intertwined our hands.

a/n: don’t know how to feel abt this 🫩 it is extremely rushed but i finally gave yall a part two even if it wasn’t the ending yall wanted…

[akawifeyy]

fever dream | fic (CL16)

description: you're sick with the flu during the monaco gp weekend, and your boyfriend is charles leclerc.

tropes: damsel in distress, lover boy (he wants you so bad)

face claim: none

trigger warnings: descriptions of severe illness (the flu), suggestive content, swearing

| note: i've been sick the past week *sob*

Your head spun, vertigo sinking its claws into your skull and making you hunch over in nausea. The clock on your bedside read 6:30 am, just hours before the Monaco Grand Prix. But there was absolutely no way you could get out of bed, let alone out of the room, where the public's watchful eye would be hyper focused on your every move.

Charles would be devastated that you couldn't support him at his home race. Just thinking about his sad puppy dog eyes made you feel even worse, and you forced yourself to calm down.

He wouldn't want you to overexert yourself. The smart thing to do was wait this out, take some medicine, and contact Charles to tell him that you wouldn't be able to make it if the pain didn't subside by around the starting time.

You turned on the television, hoping to distract yourself from your sudden illness, but the bright colors and loud sound only exacerbated your migraine and dizziness.

Great.

You huffed, cursing whatever had brought you to this moment. One race per year, out of twenty-three others, and you had to be sick for this one.

Charles entered the room, his brown hair sticking up at the back and chiseled abs on display, a white towel wrapped around his waist. "You OK?" he asked worriedly, immediately picking up on your frustration.

"I'm fine," you murmured unconvincingly, angling your face away from him so he couldn't discern how miserable you were.

"Ma chérie," Charles hummed, scolding you. He put the back of his palm against your forehead and sucked in a breath. "You have a fever."

You squirmed against his touch. "Nooooo," you mewled like an ill-tempered little child. "I don't. I'm fine."

"You will stay home." Charles turned around, walking towards the closet to grab clothes for himself.

"Nope." You pouted. "Not happening."

Charles tugged his shirt on, crossing the room to hover over you. "I don't recall saying that I was open to an argument. It was a command, not a question."

Your cheeks burned at his words, shame and a prickle of arousal flushing through your body. "I don't care."

"Be sensible, mon ange. Do you want to go to the hospital? Get everyone sick?" Charles shook his head. "No. You will do as I say. I know you will be safe and sound, waiting for me here."

As much as you hated to admit it, Charles was correct. It wasn't kind of you to venture out of the hotel room, where your sickness could be transmitted to hundreds of other people. On top of that, you weren't sure if you could stand up straight. Putting all that stress on Charles was unnecessary, especially since he was already anxious about the race. Knowing you were defeated, you scowled. "Fine."

"Good girl." Charles kissed the top of your forehead.

"I'll see you later then." You huffed, crawling under the covers and purposely avoiding Charles' look of concern. It was immature and you knew it, but you were upset.

A half hour later and Charles bid you goodbye, stocking you up on tissues and medicine, and charging your phone so that you could contact him if need be.

"See you later, mon bébé," he said, blowing you a kiss as he shut the door.

The television was flicked on again when the time drew closer to the race, and you watched through extremely blurry vision as all the cars assembled on the circuit.

The flag was waved and the countdown started. You fought with blood, sweat, and tears to remain conscious. But the last thing you remembered before sleep claimed you was the chant, "It's lights out, and away we go".

Five hours later

"Mon amour?" Charles' husky voice wafted over to you, and you jerked awake, prying your cheek off of the bed. A thick bubble of drool stained the mattress cover, and you quickly hid it, embarrassed. "Are you OK? How have you been?"

You blinked the remnants of sleep out of your eyes blearily. "Mmmm...sleepy." Suddenly, you jolted upright. "Fuck! I missed your race."

Charles laughed at your wide-eyed expression. "It's OK, don't fret. I'm glad you were sleeping."

"How was it?" you inquired, feeling guilty.

"I got P3," he confided, acting nonchalant. A grin ghosting on his lips revealed the true extent of his emotions, and the amount of pride and faith he must have in his driving skills.

You whooped in excitement. "Congratulations! Oh my God, I'm so happy for you!"

"Thank you, mon ange." Charles motioned for you to move over on the bed. "Can I sit with you a bit?"

You nodded, snuggling close to him and listening to the steady thrum of his heartbeat. "I love you, Charles."

Charles played with a strand of your hair, elation inundating him even more than when he had been on the podium, spraying champagne all over Max and Lewis, and being cheered by his leagues of fans.

With a gentle murmur, he replied, "Je t'aime plus."

─── ୨୧ ─── THE END ─── ୨୧ ───