#like a lot of things lead to something and then another

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC The Witch and The Ghost

On the subject that came up in my recent post, in my head, Sam and Danny are constantly having beef with each other. But never seriously.

The thing is, Danny has a lot of issues with a lot of things. He is not dead and not alive and then somehow both at the same time. He lives with parents who literally hunt him for sport, even if they are shit at it. His godfather is another can of worms that he refuses to touch entirely. On top of that, there's school, and occasional bullying, and hormones acting up, and ghost problems to deal with.

Which is why Danny is frustrated most of the time. He does a good job at keeping it at bay and not snapping at people for the tiniest inconveniences - partially, it's because he knows that his mild snapping can possibly leave the recipient frozen in a block of ice and humans are prone to hypothermia.

So, Danny is putting a lot of effort into staying reasonable and calm. And he is doing a good job at it!

And then, there's Sam. Sam is used to arguing with her parents at any given moment over literally anything. Sam is an activist who can and will insist on coming out victorious out of any fight she picks at, be it the choice of a salad dressing or discussion of global warming. Sam has opinions and is not afraid to share - more like enforce, actually - them. What's more, Sam is liminal, and she can withstand a lot more blunt ghostly force than any other human being.

Sam and Danny are friends, there's no doubt there. They love each other, they support each other, they will quite literally tear the world apart for each other.

They also argue about every fucking thing on earth. They fight over whose turn it is to pay for burgers every time they get them - which is at least thrice a week - and over the best phrase to teach a pet parrot, and the difference between 'affect' and 'effect' used in context. They put some discussions on pause just in order to find and provide research, and then they slap each other with piles of said research across the faces and get into a fist fight over water pollution.

Sam treats it as a fun activity and maybe a test run for her other fights and discussions with other people. She doesn't mind Danny's frustration and his occasional violence in the slightest, knowing perfectly well that he is no danger to her, and if she asks, he would stop at once.

Danny, on the other hand, gets a great outlet to vent and release all his pent-up emotional baggage. Sure, sometimes their fights get gruesome, and sometimes they hold grudges for days, and sometimes they can barely tolerate seeing each other because of it. But he also knows that in the end, they are friends, they are fraid, and he is safe with Sam no matter what he says or how offensive something sounds to her. Because in the end, it doesn't really matter to her. Not more than him.

Tucker is just very chill with both of them. He doesn't bother sticking with any of the sides of the arguments, switching between them or not taking part at all. He knows they are fine. He knows they just like fighting, for some weird reason. To be fair, he also picks an occasional fight or two with Sam just for the fun of it.

Gotham in general, and Batfam specifically (or Justice League, if you want) are so not prepared for the three of them when they move out of Amity. Especially if there's also Dani and/or Jazz thrown in the mix to spice things up. None of them truly bother to keep from using their powers, albeit mildly: some little hex and jinx here and there from Sam, a frozen patch on the pavement to make someone slip from Danny, some minor hacking from Tucker, a prank or two using the intangibility from Dani.

It leads to a lot of very confusing situations.

Like Batman showing up to the recent Riddler scheme to find two random teens loudly arguing over the answer to the puzzle while Riddler himself looks completely given up on getting their attention back to the important thing. The important thing being a bomb with a ticking timer on it.

Or Robin finding two siblings brawling on the rooftop, growling and screaming, rolling around and kicking their feet. He is not quick enough to catch them from falling off the edge of the three-story building, but when he peeks down, the siblings are still fighting down on the street, seemingly not even noticing the fall.

Or Red Hood having his guns miraculously stolen midfight because three kids have decided to have a sharpshooter competition with the goons acting as target practice. He honestly can't bring himself to mind, though, they really are great at hitting all the kneecaps within range. He is rather grateful they haven't included his own kneecaps in the heat of it. At least their responsible adult - a very pretty redhead - had apologized and returned his guns back.

Spoiler absolutely loves it when, right as she is about to get caught in Poison Ivy's trap, two teens show up to simultaneously wrestle with the mad greenery with their bare hands and lecture Ivy on the imprint she is leaving on the ecosystem of Gotham.

However, Red Robin absolutely hates that someone keeps getting through all of his firewalls just to leave a few cheeky comments on his recent case files. It doesn't matter that they leave some valuable intel and provide a good conclusion as well, it's the principle of the thing.

All in all, Danny and Sam are the unstoppable force meeting the immovable object, but they trade and switch places constantly and they are most definitely enjoying themselves while at it.

Everyone else, though? That depends on the circumstances.

[levanterhaze]

GAMEBOY — BANGCHAN

♡  ― 󠀬󠀬 fratboy!bangchan x f!reader a loooot of sexual tension, oral sex (m. receiving), fingering, handjob, a lot of curse words, dirty talk.

♡ synopsis ― Bangchan is the campus playboy—charming, cocky, and infuriatingly irresistible. One reckless, drunken night leads to a secret you swore you'd never have. Now, hating him is harder than keeping him your dirty little secret.

[7.4k words ]♡― guys, i'm very grateful that you enjoyed gameboy. thanks to everyone who asked to be on the taglist, to everyone who is deeply involved in the story (just like me). here's another chapter. the third of this journey. don't forget to listen to the playlist and those who just got here PLEASE READ THE PREVIOUS CHAPTERS!!!! that said, have a good read.

♡― THE PLAYLIST.

♡ [part one] ♡ [part two]

We'll be dancin' with the shadows in the night The stars are jealous knowing that you’re by my side Feel the adrenaline, acceleration In the course, we’ll be drivin' so rough

The whole campus buzzed like it had just been cast as extras in Magic Mike: College Edition.

Nahee appeared with her basket of brownies, practically vibrating with excitement. You had floated the idea to your theater crew, and, much to your delight, they had all rallied behind it.

“This,” she said, scanning the chaotic crowd, “is the sluttiest thing I’ve ever seen.” She turned to you, her grin devilish. “And I love it.”

The scene was pandemonium. The entire basketball team had ditched their shirts, creating a spectacle that rivaled any reality dating show. Lines formed instantly—three people deep for each boy, regardless of who they were. Men, women, professors who “just happened to be walking by”—no one was immune. A few of the boys even posed for photos, flexing like they were auditioning for a particularly steamy firefighter calendar.

“This has a countdown clock before someone shuts it down,” you said, arms crossed, though you couldn’t stop your lips from twitching.

“Let them try,” Eunji sighed, fanning herself dramatically. “This is art. This is community service. This is visual serotonin.”

“Speaking of the devil…” Nahee tilted her head, gesturing with the slightest nod.

You followed her gaze and immediately wished you hadn’t. Bangchan was front and center, a walking thirst trap without even trying. His arms, all defined muscle and veins, moved in practiced ease as he handed out brownies with that easy smile of his. His shoulders looked like they could carry half the student body, and his wet, glistening torso was proof he either took this way too seriously or knew exactly what he was doing. Either way, the guy was impossible to ignore.

You tilted your head, feigning indifference despite the warmth creeping up your neck. “Guess some people can’t help themselves, huh?”

Nahee smirked, not buying it for a second. “Some people, indeed.”

You hated to admit it, but he was a natural. Flashing easy smiles, throwing in effortless charm, making every girl swoon just enough to dig into their wallets a little faster. All he had on were sweatpants slung low on his hips and his cap turned backward—just unfair, really.

Not that it mattered. You weren’t talking. There was nothing to talk about. And yet, after the kiss, everything had shifted. Bangchan had distanced himself like you were a plague, and for once, he wasn’t even trying to get under your skin.

You stole glances when you thought he wouldn’t notice, hating the way every passing hand seemed to have permission to touch him. He didn’t look at you once. And knowing him, that meant something.

The sun was relentless, making the whole shirtless thing almost justifiable. You, Eunji, Nahee, and Sohee made your rounds across campus, hustling for the theater fund. But let’s be real—nobody cared about the cause.

They wanted six-packs and pretty smiles.

You were so busy pretending not to notice Bangchan’s every move that you almost missed the presence looming beside you.

“Hey,” Mingyu greeted, arms crossed, his signature grin firmly in place. “Got one of those brownies for me?”

“Of course,” you said, grabbing a brownie and passing it to him. He handed you a bill, and the weight of it made you freeze. That wasn’t just a regular bill—it was way too much.

“Uh, I think you might’ve made a mistake…” you started, holding it up.

“No mistake,” he cut in smoothly. “I’m buying the whole basket.”

You blinked. Once. Twice. “I’m sorry, what now?” you glanced at the basket, then back at him. “You want to buy all of them?”

“You heard me.” he shrugged, his tone so casual it bordered on infuriating.

Your brow arched instinctively, your internal lie detector pinging. Still, you weren’t about to complain about a sale this good. Slowly, you held the basket out to him, trying to mask your suspicion with a polite smile.

But Mingyu just shook his head, taking a bite of the brownie in his hand. “Keep it,” he said, licking the corner of his mouth. “I didn’t buy them for the brownies.”

The corner of your mouth twitched, your sass kicking in to override your confusion. “Oh, right. I forgot. They pair perfectly with a little showing off.”

He laughed, leaning in slightly. “Maybe. Or maybe I just wanted a reason to talk to the cutest seller here.”

“You know, flattery works better when you actually take the brownies.”

“I’ve got what I wanted,” he teased, taking another bite.

As much as you wanted to roll your eyes, you couldn’t hide your smirk. A sale was a sale, even if the customer was a little too smooth for his own good.

You stood there, momentarily stunned. Someone had just dropped a ridiculous amount of money on brownies—out of nowhere—and then decided you could keep both the cash and the sweets. Suspicious? Absolutely. But were you going to argue? Not a chance.

With a smug grin, you strolled across the lawn, basket in one hand and Mingyu’s absurdly generous payment in the other. The whole thing felt like an easy win—until a strange heat crawled up your spine, prickling your skin like the sun had suddenly gotten personal.

You turned your head, and there he was. Bangchan. Watching you.

And for the first time all day, he wasn’t smirking. No teasing, no cocky grin—just something sharp in his gaze, something dark curling at the edges.

Bangchan had never been the clingy type. He wasn’t the guy who caught feelings, overanalyzed texts, or lost sleep over someone who didn’t want him back.

Relationships? Fun while they lasted. Breakups? Mutual and drama-free. Ever since college started, he’d embraced the single and thriving lifestyle—no strings, no complications, no mess.

And sure, people talked. About his skills on the court, his grades, his leadership. But mostly, about his other talents. The ones that kept his phone buzzing at ungodly hours, filled with invitations that had nothing to do with basketball.

Bangchan never minded the attention. He never cared—until the only girl he actually wanted looked at him like he was just another name on a list.

Like he was forgettable.

What the hell was he doing wrong? He was a good guy. A loyal friend. A straight-A student. A goddamn basketball prodigy.

So why weren’t you interested? Why were you the only one immune?

He wanted to push, to test your limits, to make you see him the way he saw you. But that wasn’t his style.

He knew when to start and when to stop. And right now? He was dangerously close to crossing that line.

Bangchan wasn’t asking for much. Just a moment—one real, uninterrupted conversation with you. No sharp comebacks, no teasing deflections. Just you, stripped of the armor you wore so well.

But that wasn’t your style, was it? You never made things easy.

It all started when Hyunjin, the group’s reigning drama king, decided to join the theater. Naturally, he demanded a full entourage for moral support, which was how Bangchan ended up in that stuffy auditorium, sitting between Seungmin, Changbin, and Jeongin, watching Hyunjin pour his soul into a song like he was auditioning for Broadway itself.

He was good. Of course, he was good. Velvet-voiced, graceful, with a presence that demanded attention. The second he finished, Bangchan was ready to get up, clap him on the back, and drag him out for celebratory food—

Until you stepped onto the stage.

He didn’t know your name yet. Didn’t know anything about you. But there you were, in knee-high boots and a white dress, angelical, standing under the spotlight like you owned it.

Then, you started to sing. I’ll Be Over You. Soft, rich, and powerful all at once.

And just like that, Bangchan was gone.

He wasn’t used to losing—not in basketball, not in academics, and definitely not when it came to people. So when he finally got close enough to talk to you, he expected… well, something.

Maybe intrigue. Maybe mild annoyance. Fuck, he would’ve taken playful exasperation.

But you? You loathed him.

The realization hit like a punch to the gut. Any hope of friendship, of even standing on neutral ground, went up in flames. You always had a comeback locked and loaded, always deflected, always avoided his gaze like it might set you on fire.

And maybe it would.

Because that sharp tongue of yours? The way you kept him at arm’s length, like he wasn’t worth a second glance? It only made him want to push harder.

So fine. If you were going to make him fight for every inch, he’d play along.

He just needed to know—was this all just a game to you? Or were you just as afraid of losing as he was?

The bar was buzzing, laughter and conversation mixing with the clink of glasses and the steady thump of music. You were comfortably wedged between Sohee and Eunji, their arms draped around you like you were some rare artifact they had to protect at all costs.

You were tipsy, maybe a little emotional, but mostly just basking in the warmth of the people around you. Tonight wasn’t about stress or overthinking. It was about celebrating a well-earned victory.

"I can't even describe how happy I am, guys," you sighed, raising your glass with a lazy smile. "You are, without a doubt, the best friends a girl could have."

Eunji and Sohee groaned dramatically, tightening their hold on you. "You’re lucky we love you," Eunji grumbled. "And that we’re good at handling your emotional soju phases."

"I mean it," you insisted, half-dramatic, half-serious. "We did it! We have enough to keep the theater running until Mrs. Baek finds a permanent solution."

Your gaze flitted across the table, landing on Seungmin and Hyunjin. "None of this would’ve happened without you."

“We’re a fucking team!” Changbin declared, slamming his hand on the table with the confidence of a man three shots past his limit. "And you know what that means? Another round!"

The table erupted in cheers, and for a moment, everything felt right. Until you felt it. That pull. That heat at the back of your neck, like someone had just flipped a switch.

You knew before you even turned. Bangchan was here.

You refused to acknowledge him. Absolutely not. You were having a great time, and he—well, he was an occupational hazard. A walking, talking disruption to your peace.

"Channie!" Felix called, pulling him further into the group. "Finally decided to show up, huh?"

You still didn’t look. Instead, you took a long sip of your drink and focused on the condensation trailing down your glass, as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

But Bangchan had never been one to be ignored.

"You didn’t think I'd come?" his voice slid into the conversation so smoothly it sent a shiver down your spine.

You took your time—because if he was going to show up and be smug about it, you could at least make him wait. Finally, you turned, meeting his eyes head-on. "Didn’t think you’d dare."

He smirked, leaning just a little closer, like he was waiting for you to react. You didn’t.

But your pulse? Yeah, that was another story.

Bangchan leaned back in his seat, a lazy smile tugging at his lips as he watched his friends celebrate. He should’ve felt the same rush of excitement, the same weightless joy—but his mind was elsewhere. The relentless pressure of basketball training sat heavy on his chest, and the gnawing anxiety that came with it refused to let go.

And then there was you.

Standing there, effortlessly stunning, laughing like the world had never touched you. Just close enough to see, but never close enough to reach.

When Changbin made his way to the bar for another round, you followed, craving something non-alcoholic to cut through the buzz in your head. He glanced at you as you stepped up beside him.

“Happy?” he asked, arms crossed, an amused glint in his eye.

You grinned, light and unburdened in a way Bangchan hadn’t seen in a while. “Very. Thanks for all the help.”

Changbin shook his head with a smirk. “You should be thanking my boy over there.”

Your brows knitted together as you followed his gaze. Bangchan, mid-laugh, his head thrown back at something Jisung said. Carefree. Unbothered. Completely unaware that your entire world had just tilted on its axis.

“What?”

“He basically forced the team to join the sale,” Changbin said, voice thick with the weight of alcohol and honesty. “Said it was to help a friend.”

Your stomach did something weird—tightened, flipped, something you weren’t prepared for.

The memory hit like a slow-motion replay. Bangchan barged into your dorm, smug as ever, announcing he had dragged the entire basketball team into your little fundraising mess. You had assumed it was for Hyunjin and Seungmin. Maybe even for some ego boost, a reason to flash that damn smirk of his.

But no. A friend.

“Really?”

Changbin snorted. “What? You think he went out selling brownies half-naked just for fun?”

You forced a laugh, but your smile didn’t quite stick. Something about it—about him—felt different now.

Changbin walked off with his four bottles of soju, leaving you behind, still leaning against the counter, replaying his words in your head. It was almost offensive to think of Bangchan as anything other than his usual self—cocky, overconfident, annoyingly self-assured. Your brain outright rejected the idea that he could be good. That he could do something selfless without expecting anything in return.

And yet, here you were, stuck with the uncomfortable realization that maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t the villain you’d made him out to be.

Letting your guard down was one thing. Admitting you’d been wrong? That was the real battle.

You made your way back to the table, feeling just sober enough to regret this night’s life-altering discoveries. Sliding onto the edge of your seat, you watched as Jisung threw himself into a chair, already deep in the throes of drunken confidence.

“I’m feeling karaoke,” he announced, slurring just a little. “Who’s in?”

One by one, the group rose, fueled by alcohol and poor decision-making. Bangchan stood up last, and as he did, your hand found his arm, barely brushing over the smooth leather of his jacket.

“Hey,” you said quietly. “Can we talk?”

He blinked, caught off guard. For a second, he just stared, as if trying to decipher whether this was some kind of elaborate prank. Then, he glanced at the others heading toward the karaoke booth and nodded.

“Later,” he murmured. “That okay?”

You swallowed, suddenly unsure why your heartbeat had decided to play double time.

“Yeah,” you said, too quickly. “That’s… yeah. Sure.”

The night had escalated quickly. One minute, everyone was just vibing at Kooler’s, and the next, you were crammed into a karaoke room, neon lights flashing, Sohee absolutely butchering a ballad while Eunji screamed in horror.

The mic passed around until it somehow ended up in your hands.

“Oh, no,” you said immediately. “I don’t sing in public.”

“Ma’am,” Eunji deadpanned. “You’re in the drama club.”

“Yeah, for acting,” you retorted. “Not for embarrassing myself in front of—”

But then the opening notes of Breaking Free started playing, and the room lost it.

“Oh, you have to sing now,” Changbin cackled.

“We’re literally living a High School Musical moment!” Sohee clapped.

Then, the real nightmare happened. Bangchan grabbed the second mic.

The room erupted.

“TROY AND GABRIELLA, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!” Eunji announced like a sports commentator.

“Nope.” you stood up, but Jisung pushed you back onto the couch.

“You must embrace destiny,” he said solemnly.

Bangchan, ever the performer, smirked at you before dramatically bringing the mic to his lips. “We’re soarin’, flyin’—”

You covered your face with both hands. “Kill me.”

“That’s not the lyrics,” Changbin howled.

The moment Bangchan began to sing, his voice smooth and steady, you felt it—the tiny spark igniting between you, the way his presence pulled you in no matter how hard you tried to resist. His voice wrapped around the lyrics effortlessly, making them sound less like a cheesy high school musical duet and more like something real, something raw.

Then it was your turn.

Bangchan stilled for a moment, eyes widening slightly as you sang your part. He had always known you had a great voice—it was impossible not to, given how much time you spent in the theater club—but hearing you like this, just the two of you, no stage, no rehearsals, just you—it was mesmerizing.

God, you sounded unreal.

His chest tightened at how effortlessly you carried each note, how your voice blended with his in a way that made his skin prickle. You weren’t just singing—you were feeling it, even if you tried to hide behind an indifferent mask. He could see it in the way your body moved slightly to the music, in the way your lips curled at certain lyrics.

And fuck, he felt it too.

As the song picked up, the energy between you both crackled. Your voices melted together in harmony, and the chemistry was undeniable. You tried not to look at him, tried to focus on the screen, but every time you did, Bangchan was already looking at you, that damned smirk still in place.

When the chorus hit, something inside you gave in just a little. The moment was too fun, too infectious, and before you knew it, you were actually enjoying yourself.

You didn’t notice the way Bangchan’s gaze softened.

He saw through you, saw the way you let your guard down, even for just a second. And maybe it was the adrenaline, or the alcohol, or the way your voice wrapped around his in the final harmonized note, but Bangchan couldn’t stop himself from grinning like an idiot as you finished the song.

And that’s when all hell broke loose.

Everyone jumped up like it was the Super Bowl. Eunji was sobbing dramatically into Hyunjin’s shoulder. Changbin was standing on the couch, pointing like an old man watching his grandkids do something historic.

“Troy and Gabriella could never!”

When the song ended, the room was feral.

“That was the single most important moment of my life,” Eunji declared, visibly drunk and happy.

“I think I just saw God,” Felix wheezed.

Meanwhile, you just handed the mic to Eunji, turned to Bangchan, and muttered, “I hate you.”

He leaned in, voice low enough for only you to hear. “Sure you do.”

You’d excused yourself under the guise of needing a breather, but really, you just needed a damn second to exist without someone screaming lyrics in your ear or pulling you into another round of shots. The night was fun, but it was loud, and if you wanted to make it through, you needed a minute to reset.

The balcony was empty, save for the faint scent of nicotine lingering in the air. You took a deep breath, letting the cool breeze settle against your skin, grounding yourself. The city hummed below, distant and detached, and for a second, you just… let yourself be.

Then, before you even opened your eyes, you felt  him.

That ridiculously familiar cologne. The one that had been all over you. On his t-shirt. In your space. In your head.

“Is our rockstar already tapped out?”

You turned just in time to see Bangchan leaning back against the railing, watching you with that look.

“A little.” you waved a hand dismissively, but your small smile gave you away.

His was softer, quieter than usual, but still there. Still undeniably him. And the way his eyes swept over you in the dim light? Yeah. You could feel it. The way he noticed things, details, like he was cataloging every inch of you.

It should’ve annoyed you. But tonight? Tonight, it didn’t.

“Heard you wanted to talk to me.”

You raised a brow, suddenly remembering why you had pulled him aside in the first place. “Right. Think I owe you an apology.”

Bangchan’s expression flickered with surprise. “For what?”

“You know what.”

“Do I?” he leaned in slightly, nodding as if urging you to continue. “You should be clearer.”

You exhaled, hating how hard it was to say it. Vulnerability has never been your strong suit.

“Fine.” you glanced down at your boots, gathering your thoughts. “I know you convinced the basketball team to help with the sale. I assumed the worst about you, and that wasn’t fair. So… I’m sorry. You really helped me.”

Silence.

When you looked up, Bangchan was staring at you like you’d just told him the sky was green. Confused. A little offended. Like that was what you thought needed an apology.

“That’s what you’re apologizing for?”

You blinked, confused. “What else should I apologize for?”

Bangchan let out a dry, humorless laugh, running a hand through his hair before whispering a low, exasperated “fuck you.”

Your eyes narrowed. His arms crossed over his chest, the leather of his jacket tightening around his sleeves as he shifted against the ledge.

“What was that?” you demanded.

“Look, I appreciate the apology, really. But that’s not the thing you should be apologizing for.”

Oh, he was so good at pissing you off. Always had been.

“Then be clearer,” you shot back, arms folding tightly over your chest.

“Alright.” Bangchan turned to you fully, gaze locked in, voice steady. Too steady. “Let’s talk about your habit of coming after me and then bolting the second it gets real.”

Your jaw clenched. “I never—”

“For fuck’s sake, be for real. At the party? In my dorm? I’m not saying I didn’t want it—fuck, I wanted it. But so did you. And then you acted like it was a mistake. You run from things.”

His words landed like a punch to the stomach—sharp, direct, impossible to ignore. You blinked hard, fighting the sting behind your eyes, but you had nothing. No witty comeback, no escape route. Just the weight of the truth between you.

Maybe he was right. Maybe you did want this—him. The way he looked at you like he could devour you whole, the way his hands knew exactly where to go, the way your body reacts before your mind could stop it. You wanted it. You wanted him. But wanting didn’t make it easy.

“Why are you mad?”

“Why?” he let out a sharp laugh, shaking his head. “Because it’s fucking frustrating, that’s why. You can’t make up your damn mind.”

You exhaled slowly, trying to steady yourself, but your heart was hammering.

“It’s not that simple,” you muttered, voice quieter now, the anger slipping into something else. “Not for me.”

“Why? Because you hate me?” his lips curled, amused despite himself. “Which, by the way, I’d love to hear all those bullshit reasons why.”

“Is that really what matters?” you lifted your chin, defiant.

“So what, you’ve just decided you’re gonna hate me forever?”

“Maybe I will,” you shot back, voice dripping with venom.

Bangchan smirked, stepping in closer, slow and deliberate, like a predator cornering its prey. He leaned against the railing, his body angled toward yours, closing in just enough to make you breathless. "Hate to break it to you, love," his voice was low, dripping with amusement, "but people don’t usually fuck their enemies."

That voice. That damned voice—soft as silk, smooth as sin, and dangerous enough to make your pulse stutter.

Heat coiled in your stomach, spreading like wildfire, your body betraying you instantly. No. You weren’t going to let him win this.

"You’re right," you said, tilting your chin up, feigning nonchalance. "Which is why it’s never happening again."

A bold-faced lie. One you both saw through immediately. Because no matter how much you tried to ignore it, your mind was already spinning with memories—his hands, his mouth, the way your bodies fit together like a perfect crime.

Bangchan chuckled, dark and knowing. He moved closer, close enough that you could feel his breath graze your lips, your senses drowning in him—the scent of his cologne, the warmth radiating off his skin, the sheer audacity in his gaze.

"That’s a shame," he murmured, eyes flicking to your lips, "because we’ve got insane bed chem."

You swallowed hard. You didn’t know what was doing you in—the teasing rasp of his voice, the heat rolling off his body, the way his muscles flexed under that stupidly fitted jacket, or just him. All of him.

And just like that, your heart slammed against your ribs, your resolve threatening to crumble.

Bangchan lingered, watching—waiting. He wanted to see it happen, the exact moment your carefully built walls cracked. His pulse pounded, anticipation thrumming beneath his skin. But you held firm, clinging desperately to whatever thread of self-control you had left.

His smirk deepened, infuriatingly cocky. "I’m heading out," he murmured, eyes never leaving yours. Then, with a knowing glance, he added, "If you ever change your mind… you know where to find me."

And just like that, he turned on his heel, walking away without so much as a second look, leaving you standing there—heart racing, head spinning, and a heat pooling low in your stomach that you really didn’t want to acknowledge.

The night stretched on, loud and chaotic, but undeniably fun. By the time the drinks had blurred everyone’s ability to string together a coherent sentence, you decided to call it.

Back at the dorm, Eunji and Sohee barely made it to their rooms before collapsing face-first onto their beds, too drunk to even bother kicking off their shoes.

You wished you could do the same. But no—your mind had other plans.

You tossed. You turned. You put on some soft music, hoping it would lull you into sleep. It didn’t. Instead, every time you closed your eyes, all you saw was him.

The way he leaned in earlier, the heat rolling off him like an invitation. The way his muscles flexed beneath his jacket. The way his voice dropped, teasing, tempting, knowing.

You exhaled sharply, fingers curling into the sheets. It was ridiculous. Annoying. Infuriating.

You rolled onto your side, desperate for a distraction—anything—when your gaze landed on something draped over your study chair.

A black T-shirt. His.

The idea bloomed in your mind just as quickly as the heat spread between your thighs.

Pathetic. That’s what this was. That’s what you were.

Still, you got up, grabbing the shirt in your hands. His scent clung to the fabric—clean, musky, him. Just the faintest trace of it had your stomach twisting, the warmth inside you flickering into something dangerously close to need.

Before you could think better of it, you were pulling a hoodie over your flimsy excuse of a pajama shirt and slipping out the door.

It was past midnight. The campus was practically a ghost town at this hour, which was both a blessing and a curse. No one witnessed this humiliating trek across the quad. No one to stop you, either.

Your steps quickened as you reached his building, as if slowing down would somehow bring back your sanity.

Not happening. Not when your knuckles were already rapping against the door. Not when your breath was unsteady, your chest rising and falling too fast. Not when anticipation was burning through your veins, leaving you lightheaded and restless.

Shuffling sounds came from the other side. The lock clicked.

And then—him.

Bangchan stood in the doorway, his torso bare, sweatpants hanging sinfully low on his hips. His skin gleamed under the dim hallway light, muscles shifting as he leaned against the doorframe.

One look at you—hoodie, messy hair, his damn shirt clenched in your fingers—and something shifted in his expression. His lips parted slightly. His gaze darkened.

He already knew.

Bangchan was deep in sleep when the knocks came. His brows furrowed, his face crumpled with exhaustion as he groggily sat up, running a hand through his messy dark hair.

He hadn't been expecting anyone. But when he swung open the door, there you were. Hoodie slightly oversized, cheeks flushed, eyes dark with something unspoken.

You lifted the black shirt in your hands, your breath still uneven. “You forgot this.”

Bangchan’s gaze dropped to the fabric, then back to you, slow and deliberate.

“That’s all?” his voice was rough with sleep, but there was something sharper beneath it.

You swallowed hard, shaking your head. “No.”

That was all he needed.

The shirt was snatched from your grip and tossed somewhere behind him. His free hand was already at your waist, pulling you inside with a force that had your pulse skyrocketing. The door barely had time to click shut before you were on him. Hands in his hair, lips crashing into his, pouring all your frustration and desperation into the kiss.

Bangchan groaned into your mouth, gripping your hips so tight it sent a shiver down your spine. His skin was warm, solid beneath your touch—broad shoulders, the ridges of muscle beneath your fingertips.

And you wanted all of him.

His hands slid up, fingers teasing along the curve of your spine. Your teeth grazed his lower lip, earning a sharp, guttural sound from the back of his throat.

You barely recognized yourself at this point. There was barely any sanity left in your body, and whatever remained was slipping fast.

Somehow, between hectic kisses and hands wandering like they had a mind of their own, you ended up on the sofa. Bangchan sat with his legs spread, his breath heavy, and you straddled his lap, your hands splayed against his firm chest.

His eyes were dark, hooded, watching you like you were something he wanted to devour.

"Are you sure?" the words left his lips, but your body already knew the answer. Your stomach twisted—not with doubt, but with the unbearable anticipation of what was about to happen.

Bangchan opened his mouth, but you pressed two fingers against his plush lips, cutting him off.

"Shhh," you hissed, your voice edged with frustration. Your hips rolled against him, a slow, deliberate drag that had him sucking in a sharp breath. The way he twitched beneath you sent a wicked thrill through your veins.

"You're driving me insane," you confessed, your nails digging into his skin. "You're in my head. That ridiculous face of yours."

Through the haze of want, Bangchan let out a breathless laugh, slowly biting your finger. "Was that supposed to be a compliment?"

You smirked, dragging your fingers down his jaw. "Shut up. Kiss me."

And he did—like he had been waiting his whole damn life to.

With effortless ease, he shrugged off his sweatshirt, leaving you in nothing but that dangerously thin white tank top—one that did absolutely nothing to hide how your body reacted to him. Bangchan’s jaw tightened, his eyes darkening as he took in the sight. Fucking hell. He wanted to devour you. Every inch. Every sound. Every shiver.

His lips crashed onto yours, rough and demanding, his hand curling around the base of your neck as his tongue teased and tangled with yours. He tasted you like he was trying to memorize every second of it, like he never wanted to stop. The heat of him, the way his fingers dug into your waist, how his breath hitched every time you met his urgency—it was intoxicating.

Then his lips left yours, trailing down your jaw, down your neck, and suddenly, your body wasn’t yours anymore. Your knees went weak, your breath came in ragged little gasps, and before you could stop yourself, a low, broken moan escaped your lips—right against his ear.

Bangchan groaned. That sound. That fucking sound. He was about to lose his goddamn mind. His hands tightened around your hips, his patience thinning by the second as you shifted against him, rolling your hips just enough to make him ache.

That sound. That fucking sound. Bangchan was about to lose his goddamn mind.

“I want it off,” he murmured against your skin, voice thick with need.

His hands twitched against your waist, desperate. He could’ve ripped those pants clean off your body if he wanted to. But you took your sweet, agonizing time peeling them away before settling back onto his lap, now wearing nothing but a flimsy pair of white panties.

He would have torn your pants to shreds right then and there, but you took your time—agonizingly slow as you peeled them away before settling back onto his lap, now clad in nothing but the flimsy white panties that left nothing to his imagination.

And fuck. Bangchan broke.

You looked like a dream, like something too good to be real. Kiss-swollen lips. Hair messy from his hands. Chest rising and falling as you gasped for breath.

You were going to ruin him.

The absence of your pants made you bolder, rolling your hips in slow, teasing waves against his lap. He was already impossibly hard, every grind making it worse—if you kept this up, he was going to lose it before he even got the chance to be inside you. And that was not what he wanted.

But fuck, it felt good. The thick bulge in his sweatpants rubbing against your soaked panties, just barely grazing your clit, sending white-hot sparks shooting through your body. Every movement set off a new wave of heat, of need, of something devastatingly addictive.

“I need to do something,” you whispered against his lips, your breath warm and uneven.

Bangchan still had his eyes closed, savoring every second of this moment, refusing to let it slip away.

“Please.”

Your hands drifted down, fingers ghosting over the outline of his cock through the soft fabric of his sweats, barely touching—but more than enough to make his whole body tense. He gritted his teeth, veins pulsing as your palm pressed just a little harder.

“Fuck…” he rasped, voice hoarse, almost a plea.

You shifted between his legs, fingers toying with the hem of his pants, your nails barely scraping against his skin. His gaze burned into yours, dark with anticipation, completely at your mercy. And when you finally wrapped your hand around him—hot, firm, thick—he let out a shaky, wrecked breath.

A low groan escaped his lips, his head falling back against the couch as you wrapped your hand around him, warmth meeting warmth. The muscles in his abdomen tightened, every nerve in his body set ablaze by your slow, deliberate movements. You weren’t in a hurry—you wanted him to feel this. To lose himself in the way you handled him, the way you made him wait.

"You said I could use my pretty mouth next time," you murmured, feigning innocence, biting your lip just enough to drive him mad.

And then you winked—sweet, angelic, like you weren’t about to completely wreck him.

His breathing stuttered. His hands twitched at his sides, fighting the urge to grab you, to make you do something instead of torturing him like this. “You’re gonna kill me,” he groaned, his voice wrecked, eyes rolling shut as pleasure coiled in his stomach.

You only smiled, satisfied with how easily he was unraveling for you. Leaning in, you ghosted your lips over his, not quite kissing him—just close enough for him to chase after the contact. His body burned under yours, every breath he took shaky, labored.

"Like that, baby" he panted, his voice breaking as he let himself go, surrendering to the moment, to you.

To his torment, you picked up the pace, your touch firm, deliberate. His breath hitched, his body tensing beneath your hand as his head fell back against the couch. The heat between you was unbearable, a wildfire consuming every inch of restraint he had left.

His moans came unchecked, rough and unrestrained, completely at your mercy. He let you guide him, surrendering to every agonizing second—until suddenly, it all stopped. The loss of contact was like a snapped tether, leaving him breathless, on edge, undone.

His chest rose and fell rapidly as he blinked down at you, wide-eyed, dazed. The way you knelt between his legs, watching him with that look—he swore it could drive him insane.

And then, with agonizing slowness, your lips parted. The moment your mouth met his cock, his whole body tensed, a sharp hiss escaping through his teeth. His fingers curled into the couch, muscles drawn tight as you worked him over, your tongue teasing, tormenting, ruining him.

"Look at you," he murmured, smirking like he had the upper hand when, in reality, he was barely holding himself together. "So pretty around my cock" his tongue flicked over his lower lip, his voice rough, almost reverent.

If his goal was to sound composed, he was failing miserably.

You hummed in response, deliberately slow, deliberate in every movement. He cursed under his breath, fingers threading through your hair, not pulling—yet—but holding, like he needed something to keep him grounded.

"If you keep going," his voice was strained now, his thighs tensing beneath your touch, "I—"

You raised an eyebrow. "What, baby?”

His jaw clenched. He was already too far gone to play games, but you weren’t about to make this easy for him.

And then, just as he warned, he shattered. Every muscle in his body locked up, his breath stuttering as he tipped his head back, a curse slipping past his lips like a prayer. You didn’t let up, dragging out every second of his cum until his grip on reality seemed just as unsteady as his grip on you.

His chest rose and fell in uneven breaths, his grip on your hair going slack. You pulled back, wiping the corner of your mouth with the back of your hand, before giving him a slow, knowing smile.

By the end of it, he was completely wrecked—chest heaving, eyes hazy, limbs boneless. His vision blurred at the edges, like his body couldn’t decide whether to collapse or beg for more. He knew you were good. Knew the chemistry between you was dangerous. But the way you looked at him—innocent, yet utterly sinful—while taking him so effortlessly? That was his undoing. You weren’t just ruining him.

And yet, you didn’t stop there.

Without hesitation, you climbed onto his lap, capturing his lips in a kiss so wet, so consuming, it made his head spin all over again. The taste of himself lingered between you, but you never shied away from things like that. Bangchan was great in every way, and if he could make you feel good, you’d damn well return the favor.

"Holy shit, baby," he murmured between kisses, his voice still rough with aftershocks, "you're fucking amazing."

The wicked curve of his lips sent heat straight to your core. He was teasing you, even now, when he could barely string words together.

And God, it only made you want him more.

Every movement between you was deliberate—synchronized, electric, and dripping with consent. Bangchan’s fingers trailed down your trembling thighs, finding the soaked fabric of your panties. He barely touched you, yet a deep shiver ran through him, his cock twitching at the sheer slickness of you.

"Fuck," he muttered, more to himself than to you, voice thick with hunger.

Then, without warning, he pushed the fabric aside and pressed two fingers against your clit, rubbing slow, relentless circles.

Your moan was swallowed into the kiss, tangled between tongues and shallow breaths. He was hard again, pressing against your stomach, his body burning with every second of restraint. Bangchan grabbed the back of your neck, pulling you impossibly closer, his free hand teasing and taunting with no predictable rhythm—just continuous, torturous pressure that sent you spiraling.

"I..." you tried to speak, but the words crumbled in your throat, lost in the haze.

Bangchan's dark eyes locked onto your face, studying every microexpression—the way your lips parted, the way your brows knit together, how every tiny twitch exposed just how undone you were.

Then, as if testing the limits of your sanity, he dragged his fingers lower, slipping two deep inside.

You gasped.

The stretch was sinful. Even his fingers were thick, filling you in a way that had you gripping his shoulders, nails digging into his skin. Bangchan groaned at the feeling, his patience thinning with every squeeze of your walls around him.

And the worst part? He was just getting started.

He sucked on your lip, bit it, then soothed it with a kiss. "How can you be so fucking tight?" his voice was wrecked, nearly a growl, as he felt your walls clench around his fingers, swallowing him with a desperation that made his cock twitch.

Bangchan didn’t slow down. If anything, his pace turned ruthless—deep, fast, relentless. Each thrust of his fingers sent another jolt of pleasure through you, leaving your brain nothing but static. Your body thawed under his touch, a mess of heat and sensation. He pushed your blouse up just enough to bare your breasts, immediately palming them, kneading them as if the sensation alone could ruin him.

"Don’t stop." the demand left your lips between ragged breaths. "Harder."

Bangchan groaned, watching you ride in his lap like a dream he didn’t deserve. "Jesus Christ." his voice was strained, his self-control hanging by a thread. "’Gonna cum all over me, hmm? Is that what you want?"

It was too much. The filthy words, the ruthless rhythm, his fingers buried deep inside you while his cock throbbed against your thigh, still wet from your mouth. Your body was on the edge of something catastrophic.

And then you shattered.

The orgasm slammed into you like a cursive wave, your moan breaking into something raw, something uncontrollable. Bangchan swore under his breath, completely mesmerized. He didn’t stop—kept his fingers buried inside, working you through every pulse, every aftershock.

When your breath finally started to steady, you opened your eyes. And he was watching you.

His gaze was alarming—dark, hungry, completely ruined. As if he had just witnessed the most beautiful thing in the world.

You were both breathless, skin damp with sweat, but it wasn’t just the intensity of what happened—it was everything that had led to it. The frustration, the tension, the unspoken words tangled between your bodies.

Bangchan reached for his black shirt, which had been abandoned on the arm of the couch. "Keep this."

You eyed him, still catching your breath. "Why?"

"To motivate you."

You snorted, rolling your eyes before giving his shoulder a light shove. "You're so full of yourself."

But you still slipped it on, letting the oversized fabric swallow you up, suddenly feeling less exposed—less vulnerable. His hands remained on your thighs, holding you in place on top of him, as if he wasn’t ready to let you go just yet.

Then, casually, he picked up his phone and handed it to you. "Put your number in."

You held the device, raising an eyebrow. "Why? So you can save it as ‘bootycall’?"

His lips curled into a slow, shameless smirk. "Maybe."

"You're terrible." you rolled your eyes but still tapped your number into his phone, handing it back with a smirk. "And a complete pervert."

Bangchan ran his hands up your thighs, his fingers lingering just long enough to make your breath hitch. "For you?" his voice was low, teasing, but there was something deeper in his gaze. "Completely."

The weight of the moment settled between you, thick and lingering. And that was your cue. You stood, reaching for your clothes, shaking off whatever it was that passed between you. Bangchan did the same, though not without watching you with that unreadable look on his face.

"You could stay if you want," he offered, ever so casually.

You scoffed. "It's late, and the girls will notice if I'm missing in the morning."

He nodded, as if he understood—because he did. No one could know. 

Once you were dressed, you headed for the door, pausing just long enough to glance over your shoulder.

"So," Bangchan leaned against the couch, arms crossed, his smirk returning. "How about it?"

You blinked. "What?"

"It'll never happen again?" his tone was pure mischief, mocking you.

Your lips curled, mirroring his amusement. "You have my number." you shrugged, stepping into the hallway. "Make good use of it."

And with that, you disappeared down the corridor, leaving Bangchan standing there, an unfamiliar, overwhelming feeling tightening in his chest.

One thing was becoming painfully clear—whatever this was between you, it wasn’t going away. And maybe, just maybe, you were better together than apart.

♡ taglist ― @kenia4 @chrizrizz @meerabmalik @gnabnahcsworld @gncbnahc @jinniejjam @skzworldx @itsacatastrophe-xo @soonie1010 @4ng3l-ch1ld @justwonder113 @tsunderelino @eastjonowhere @lyracarvahall @akindaflora @victoriaaf

[loveemagicpeace]

Astrology Notes🎨

Capricorn rising- You don't like to show your emotions in front of other people. You don't like to feel vulnerable or weak. You hate it when others don't respect you. You try to help others but you don't like to feel like you don't get it back. You don't give second chances.

Having Moon in water sign means that you will feel best emotionally near the sea. You won't feel good in an area where there are too many people or things.

Cancer & Capricorn are actually quite similar. It's just that Cancer shows emotions outwardly and likes to show care for someone and is very loyal when they love someone. Capricorns show how much they love someone through actions, and in reality, they are very emotional, they just don't show it.

Moon in Gemini- They often express their emotions through words and often change their opinions and feelings.

Sun in 9th house you will find your path through spirituality, faith. Through things that are unseen and may not be so obvious at first, but their significance becomes apparent over time. Your personality grows through learning. Travel can be a big part of your life and bring you a lot of meaning.

Mars in 12th house- You have many more talents than you think and you may be hiding magic within yourself. People may not notice your energy right away, but they will feel it.

The 7th house is the house of things that are the hardest to achieve and we can have the biggest battle with.

Jupiter in your house can show you the way and a new way of believing when you lose hope. If a person has bad aspects with Jupiter, they can become very pessimistic and lose the will to live, which can often lead to suicide. This is often the reason why things like this happen. Because Jupiter is the planet that gives belief, will, meaning. And when it is badly aspected, it is harder for a person to find that because they can go through more difficult things to achieve it.

It is not Saturn that makes your life difficult, because it is a planet that is very direct with its actions and moves. Saturn does not hide but shows. When you see the lesson, you can quickly find what you are looking for. Saturn just helps you find something in a faster way.

Many times Neptune can be the one that makes things difficult for you in life. Because it is the planet of illusion, dreams, fantasy, escape. Neptune gives you the opportunity to escape and gives you the feeling of seeing through rose-colored glasses and when you think that what you have is reality, it can turn out that it was all a lie. That's why people who have a lot of Neptune energy have a harder time seeing the truth.

Its not when planets falls into someone's 7th house. You can have a good 7th house synastry with someone, but the relationship will not develop into something potential. Because the planets make a good relationship and a good feeling that you share with that person, it is not necessary that you see them as very potential.

But when someone embody the energy of your 7th house for ex.: you have 7th house in aries and the other person has a lot of 1st house, aries energy or mars energy. You will find more in common with this person and you will be more attracted to the person. You may not feel comfortable at first because the 7th house is the opposite of who you are, but the person will give you exactly what you need.

The Sun in the chart represents that person and his/her individuality. The Sun sign is that person for the rest of his/her life. The original Sun sign remains throughout life, but it is rounded, expanded, developed and changed as the Sun sign progresses. In whatever house the Sun is, this shows where that person shines best. The house in which the Sun is, shows in which area of life he/she must express himself/herself.

If the Moon at birth is caught between two evil spirits, no matter how far apart they are, this indicates that the person is going from one difficult change to another. This means that one should be very careful with changes, whether psychological, geographical or otherwise. If the moon is in conjunction with Saturn, the person will often feel lonely in the family and often emotionally abandoned. These people have trouble trusting and accepting someone into their lives.

Meanings related to the moon: shell, water, stream, bathing, foam, hotel, home, cauliflower, cheese, milk, salad, lily, liquid, queen, seabirds, sleep, sailor, cancer, evening, harbor, etc.

Meanings related to the saturn: age, responsibility, maturity, envy, cold, clock, calendar, earthly, fear, firm, farmer, disaster, depression, hunger, resentment, devotion to fate, worried, annoyed, ice, hatred, monument, past, mortgage, fainting, guardian, obesity, snow, skin, teeth, oath, yesterday, ancient times, etc.

The symbolic psychological meanings of Uranus, if positive in sign, house, or aspect, include progress, platonic love, intuition, magnetism, impersonality, love of freedom, scientific, ingenious, independent, insubordinate, inventive, reformed, restless, impulsive, altruistic, special, exciting, talented, metaphysical, clairvoyance, and premonition

Neptune has a lot to do with mysterious states, hidden natures, secret matters, detective work, research work, and anything related to the seas and spiritualism. Neptune, who is the symbolic ruler of the twelfth house of limitation, also rules hospitals. It is said to rule the film industry and the entire realm of metaphysical existence.

Neptune is one of the most recently discovered planets and many astrologers see in it a subtle nature similar to music. Therefore, Neptune brings feelings of idealism, spirituality, artistic and musical talents, which is similar to the planet Venus. Neptune and Venus are similar in that they can both be idealistic in love and go with the flow

The dominant planet says a lot about what characteristics a person carries within themselves. The energy that people usually express and emit naturally often comes from the dominant planet.

Rebekah🎨🌙💕

[fromchaostocosmos]

Far too many non-Jewish people do not know these things:

Two thirds (2/3) of European Jewry were wiped out

Of the 1.1 Million people killed in Auschwitz 90% of them were Jews.

It has been 80 years since the Holocaust and we still have not recovered the numbers we had from before the Holocaust and we are not likely to reach that number (16 million) for at least another 25 years, G-d willing no major tragic events happen, in 2050.

The Holocaust did not just happen in Europe/effect Jews in Europe. Jews in the USA were impacted and Jews in the MENA were very much effected due collaboration between many leaders of MENA countries and the Nazis. In fact there were Labor camps as well as Internment Camps in North Africa. Maghrebi Jews were even deported from North Africa and sent to Death Camps.

The Nazis had a strict view as to what society should look like and what families should look like. The ideal was a man and woman who were capable of bearing children.

The Nazis bought into and spread lust-libel and the also found Jews to be perverse because of cultural norms and how we perform gender.

The classic Jewish man, the idealized, so to speak, Jewish man is one who is likes to learn, is more soft spoken, curious, in touch with his emotions and able to express them, is poetic, sings, has an appreciation for the beauty of nature and the world, is humble, compassionate, good with children, and is kind.

Our women we like to have backbone, be strong, be the heads of the family, to have last word and the final say. The one who looks danger in the eye and with words alone beats it down to nothing. The one who carries the family and community on their backs. The one who feeds a man salty cheese, gives him wine to sate his thirst, and once he drunk and asleep kills with the peg from her tent. The one who with her handmaiden will walk into behind enemy lines and cut off the head of general and bring it back to her people. The one who lead her people as prophet, a war general, and hold court and give wisdom while under sitting under a palm tree. There is a reason that on Friday night a song is sung to the women called Eshet Chayil, Woman of Valor, that praises and extols them and that Chayil which means Valor also can mean solider.

So you know not really fitting in with western view of gender roles.

So there is all that going on plus the several hundred years to at least a millennia of Christian antisemitism at play as well.

Now the field of psychology was still relativity newish, but it was a field that did attract a fair amount of interest from Jews which is why there are a fair amount of Jews in beginning of psychology.

So that also became something that the Nazis were very much against and saw as a Jewish plot which is why they took a very look outlook on mental health and any close to that.

There were also Jews and most famous of them Magnus Hirschfeld, studying sex, gender, and attraction and how those do and do not interweave with each other.

So that also became a Jewish plot according to the Nazis to destroy society.

Then because Germany was on the losing side of WW 1 and due to the peace treaty they signed they had to make a lot of concessions which obviously where not in their favor.

This had an overall negative impact on the German economy. And then on top of that there was the Great Depression all of which ended up making Germany money essentially worthless.

So there was rampant poverty and when there is rampant poverty there is going to be a lot of homelessness because you are to have a lot people who have no money and no way of making money and this was also at a time when jobs where not plentiful, lots of factories and business were being closed because their owners could not afford to keep them open and/or afford to pay their workers.

So the homelessness, poverty, and losing WW 1 also became a Jewish plot, according to the Nazis, to destroy Germany and her people.

So something had to be done about the horrible problem. Well when you an infestation of vermin and they are ruining everything you get rid of the vermin so it was time to get rid of the vermin. That is what the Nazis would say.

The question eventually became how exactly to get rid of said vermin and how quickly and permanently and that is when they went from Jews if they could afford to leave could leave to the Final Solution.

So everything the Nazis did was through a lens of this a Jewish plot and thus it must be destroyed.

Now the Romani were also seen as vermin like us so they were also viewed under that must be eliminated lens.

This is why Jewish and Romani people were the only ones put in Ghettos. This is why Jewish and Romani people were the only targeted on the mass scale our peoples were targeted on and sent to the gas chambers at mass scale that we were.

This is why our children and our elderly were sent to Death Camps and murdered. This is why our peoples were murdered and buried in mass graves. This is why often all that is left of our people is just ash and memories. This is why Josef Mengele did experiments on our people.

This is why our people and communities are scarred forever and we carry this generational and communal trauma with us for the rest of time.

If you are not Jewish and/or Romani you need to understand that you are causing immense pain and suffering. Just stop, enough is enough.

There is a reason that there is day to remember specifically the Jewish victims of the Holocaust and a day to remember specifically the Romani victims of the Holocaust.

This our history, our families, and our communities.

I am literally begging Queer people on this site to realize the Holocaust was not about them

Yes gay and trans people were also targeted, we're not denying that, but it was because homosexuality and transgenderism was seen as something caused by the Jews

The holocaust was about the Jews. Please stop pretending like it wasn't

[buck-star]

Valentines sparkle

Overhearing a conversation between two girls, Logan doubts himself a lot more than he should. Trying to have you see and feel the sparkle of Valentine’s Day.

Pairing: Worst!Logan Howlett x Fem!Reader

Wordcount: 2.082 Words

Warnings/Tags: fluff, softness, insecurity, mention of past sexual content, petname [trouble, baby]

Authors Note: Thought about a little something for the Event Loveuary by @lubdubology and @yxtkiwiyxt, so here you are. Have fun and enjoy. There are one or two scenes where I could definitely think about a little something, if someone is interested. Divider made by me.

Events: Sweetheart Bingo [Row One-One | I’m yours]

Masterlist | Logan Howlett Masterlist

His eyes roam over the aisles of the shop; everywhere is pink and red stuff, heart-shaped or with hearts and flowers on them. His heart clenches as he notices another girl with her best friend walking to the little spot with chocolate and little boxes made for rings or cards — concerts, trips, everything.

“Maybe he’s asking me then. I saw he looked at these little boxes last time we went shopping. And today he went out, telling me he has to get something from the office. The office isn’t open today,” she says with a wide grin on her face. Her best friend giggles slightly, looking at the boxes as well; her eyes light up when she sees a small one she likes.

“Hopefully I will be that one. It’s so pretty,” she mumbles and lifts a small box in a heart-shaped form with small roses all over it. She holds it almost in her friend's face, who’s looking through the others to find her favorite. “Does he even know what you like? I mean, he’s a man after all, isn’t he?”

Both of them laugh. The girl who’s talking about her boyfriend nods. She’s reaching for another little box and holding it out. It’s a rose-shaped box, and there are a few little roses too. “He does, mostly. But look at this box; you can let them engrave your names in it.”

They put the boxes away again but keep standing there. The girl who’s pretty sure her boyfriend is going to ask her to marry him points at a few more things, telling her friend she needs that too. While her friend always shows other stuff that she likes and keeps asking if the man really knows what her friend likes.

“Lo? Baby?” Your soft voice comes from behind him when you place some sweets and drinks in the cart in front of Logan. He’s turning around, a slight frown on his face, but he tries to force a smile on his lips and nods. “Hey, you good? You look… I don’t know, confused, unsure?”

“Mhm, ‘m fine, trouble,” he grumbles and turns back to the cart and shoves it in front of himself through the aisle. You walk next to him, keeping a close eye on your boyfriend, who does not look as good as he tries to pretend. “Need something else?”

You shake your head and lead him to the cashiers. Logan nods; he’s not too much into shopping, and the conversation between these two women made him feel uncomfortable. An aching feeling in his chest while he thinks about the relationship with you.

“Baby, can you please—“ you giggle when you pull the cart closer to you. He narrows his eyes, looking at you, then at the cashier, and nods. Logan didn’t notice his tight grip around the cart or that he remained in his spot while the people before you already walked out of the shop.

“Sorry,” he mumbles and helps you with the groceries. You notice Logan’s narrowed eyes, his lips in a thin line, and his jaw clenched harshly. It’s a wonder that he doesn’t crush the eggs he’s holding in his hands, or the bottle he’s handing you.

You stay quiet, not wanting to make him feel more uncomfortable. So you just pay and let him push the cart out of the shop to the truck. He’s grumbling under his breath, his knuckles turning white with the force he’s using to hold the handle of the cart.

“Lo, you know, whatever it is that bothers you, you can talk to me. You don’t have to break the cart to get out of your mood, and you don’t have to swallow it all,” you say softly, placing your hand on his thick, hairy arm. His green eyes drop to your hand; he loves how small your hand looks compared to his arm, but he keeps his cold expression. Logan lets his eyes trail down your arm, over your shoulder to your face. His eyes lock with yours, and he nods.

“I know, trouble,” he whispers. Of course, he knows. You sit down at night with him to make sure he knows that he’s not alone. You’re staying up all night with him when he has nightmares and is afraid to get back to sleep. “But it’s nothin’.”

You nod, not convinced by him, but you don’t want to push either. So you just put the groceries in the car. Logan keeps grumbling and mumbling under his breath, his eyes moving back and forth between the shop and you, but he doesn’t say a word.

The drive back home is quiet except for the music, the only sound next to the engine that fills the car. Logan acts like he’s focused on the street, even though you feel his eyes on you every now and then. They are piercing, intense, and something is bringing deep inside of them, a fire he doesn’t dare to let out.

His lips part, but he stays quiet. You look out of the window, watching the people and houses pass by. Logan and you live outside of town, in a little wooden house that offers the two of you a comforting and relaxing place without too many people around.

He parks the car and gets out; you follow him. Logan’s intense stare is still on you when you grasp two of the paper bags to carry them inside. He does the same, but instead of just two paper bags he takes six and brings them into your shared house.

Shopping with your boyfriend is pretty easy since he can carry so much more, and you don’t have to walk back and forth to carry all the groceries. You kick the door closed and shrug off your jackets and shoes, walking into the kitchen where Logan is already unpacking all the groceries.

“Trouble?” He asks, his voice shaking slightly, and he keeps his back to you. You hum, letting him know he can continue talking. “‘M sorry. I just… I got lost in my thoughts.”

“I know, you’re an open book for me, baby,” you reply, walking over to him. You wrap your arms around his waist, hugging him from behind while you push your head underneath his arm to look up at him.

Logan looks down, smiling softly at you. You’re just too adorable when you do that. His heart skips a beat, but the flutter is soon replaced with the heavy uncertainty again. “There were two girls who talked about one of the girl's boyfriend. She said she thinks he’s asking her to marry him, and her friend asked her to… if he even knows her because he’s a man,” Logan whispers, turning around in your warm embrace to face you. You’re tilting your head up, listening intensely to your boyfriend. “I don’t want to disappoint you with not getting engaged on Valentine's Day… and I… I don’t know if you… thought I would ask you to, or if I know you to buy you something you would like; I’m a man too.”

You chuckle softly; this man is just too adorable for his own good. “I don’t expect you to ask anything like that, Lo. I don’t even expect a present from you for Valentine’s Day or any other event,” you say softly, bringing your hands to his firm chest.

“But I wouldn’t even know what you like anyway,” he grumbles, doubting himself. Even though he should know better, even though you know better, you let him speak without interrupting him. “I’m your boyfriend; I should give you something. I should know what you love, what I could get you as a present.”

You smile, snaking your hands from his chest up to capture his cheeks and pull him down, his face only inches away from yours. “You remember what you got me for Christmas?”

Logan’s lips curl into a soft smile, and he nods his head immediately. His green eyes light up, and he grabs your waist tightly, pulling you closer. “This big stuffed animal, it doesn’t even fit in our bed, but you love it, trouble. Of course, I know what I gave you for Christmas; how could I forget that sweet smil—“

His eyes widen when he notices; he knows you. Logan knows what you like. He gave you a present for Christmas that made your smile bigger than he has ever seen a smile and your eyes were brighter than the sun when you unwrapped it.

“I know you… I know what you like; that’s why you mean?” He asks. You nod with a soft grin on your lips. “But that’s different; you told me you liked it. But—“

“You don’t have to read my thoughts, Lo,” you mumble. Logan shakes his head; he would love to read your thoughts. He would love it to make sure you always get what you want.

“But… even though I know what you like. Or you tell me what you like. Celebrating such a day…? It feels just like I don’t deserve to celebrate it. I don’t think I deserve you, and yet we want to celebrate it?”

“We don’t have to. We can also spend the day like every other day,” you say softly, but Logan shakes his head. He doesn’t want to disappoint you. Maybe you wouldn’t be, but he would be at himself for acting like it’s nothing special. “But you deserve love, so much love, so don’t dare to doubt it, Lo. But if you doubt it, then I will prove to you that you’re wrong. Because I love you, every day. Not just on Valentine’s Day.”

“I love you too, but you love special days; you love Valentine’s Day…” he mumbles, remembering the conversation you had on a date where you saw some hearts and roses, and it reminded you of Valentine's Day. You confess that the sparkle of the day wasn’t there since you and your ex-boyfriend broke up, but you still liked the thought of it and hoped someone would bring back the sparkle one day. “I want to bring back the startle for you. I want to be the one who gives you a reason to love Valentine’s Day, to love every day with me.”

“I love every day with you.”

“Trouble… I want to make it a special day. So shut up and be good for me,” Logan grumbles, a soft smile on his plump lips. “Do you remember the little cabin with the sauna and the hot tub?”

You nod with a grin; the sauna and the hot tub were a lot of fun in every way you can think of having fun with Logan. “Mhm… how can I not after having to clean the whole sauna because someone thought about spilling his cum everywhere but where he said he wanted it to be?”

Logan blushes, his fingers digging further into your skin, and he leans his head down. “You’re playing with fire, trouble.”

“It’s true. You said you want—“ you tease with a smile but get interrupted by Logan, who narrows his eyes slightly. He digs his fingers further into your skin, pulling you closer with a low grumble in his chest.

“How about we keep your pretty mouth shut before I have to stuff it?” Logan growls, pressing his plump lips on yours to shut you up. You chuckle, kissing him back softly while you try to push your tongue through his lips. Logan groans into your mouth, not letting you dominate him in the slightest. “We are spending Valentine’s Day in that cabin, in that hot tub, in that sauna. With movies, sunsets, sunrises, and food. Maybe some chocolate and ice cream, too.”

And so you do; you spend Valentine’s Day with Logan in that pretty cabin. Most of the day in either the hot tub or the sauna with Logan buried inside of you. Or on the couch in his arms while he turns on one cheesy movie after the other. Logan even asked you to let him help you cook the dinner for the two of you, even though he spent most of the time kissing your neck and keeping his strong arms tightly around your waist while he mumbles praises about how good you feel and how perfect you are. And yes… he helps you to bring back the sparkle of Valentine’s Day, not just for you, but also for himself.

Wanna see some more of Logan and Trouble? Let me know if you have any ideas.

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[arixella]

Caught in the Tide

╰┈➤ pairing: Ace x female! reader

a/n: hey guys ik its been a minute, Ive been doing a lot of school and extracurriculars so ive had no time to write, plus I also just got sick sooo yeah but im trying to become active again!

summary: When a casual friends-with-benefits arrangement between you and Ace deepens into something more, both of you are caught in the tide of intense desire and unexpected feelings, unsure of where it will lead.

wc: 2.9k

contains: suggestive with a lil extra spice 🌹

It had always been simple between you and Ace—no strings, no questions, no emotional attachment. You were both free spirits, wandering the seas, finding solace in the brief, fleeting moments you shared. It started one night, on the deck of the Moby Dick, where neither of you could deny the spark between you. One kiss turned into another, then another, until it became a regular occurrence—nothing serious, just physical. You'd both laugh it off afterward, acting like nothing changed. But things had begun to change, and Ace was the last to admit it.

"Hey," you said, sitting next to Ace by the rail one evening, the sun sinking beneath the horizon. You both had just come from one of those late-night rendezvous. It was always like this: you shared a quiet, intimate moment, and then moved on like it was nothing. But tonight, Ace was unusually quiet, his gaze fixed on the vast ocean.

You nudged him lightly. "You good?"

He blinked and looked at you, a small, almost apologetic smile pulling at his lips. "Yeah, just... thinking."

"About what?" You asked, raising an eyebrow.

Ace scratched the back of his head, avoiding your gaze. "You know... nothing important."

You stared at him for a moment. The look on his face was different tonight, hesitant and distant. Something you hadn't seen before. It made you feel uneasy, like you were on the edge of something, but you couldn't tell what.

"Ace..." you started, your voice softer. "What's going on?"

He finally met your eyes, and for a brief moment, you saw it—the vulnerability in his gaze. It was almost like he was struggling with something, fighting with himself. "I don't know," he said, almost too quietly for you to hear. "Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about... us. About what this really is."

You blinked in surprise, leaning back slightly. "What do you mean?"

"I mean..." Ace hesitated, scratching his jaw as though searching for the right words. "You’re not like the others. You know that, right?"

You frowned, the weight of his words sinking in. "What do you mean by that?"

Ace took a deep breath, looking down at his hands, unsure of how to express the shift in his feelings. "This... this thing between us—it was supposed to be casual, no emotions. But..." He trailed off, biting his lip. "But it's not like that for me anymore."

Your heart skipped a beat. It was one thing to hear someone admit they had feelings for you; it was another thing entirely when it was Ace.

"You don’t need to say anything," he quickly added, his voice laced with the familiar, playful tone. "I just—I’m not sure how to handle this. I’ve never been good at it." His usual cocky demeanor was slipping, and it left you speechless.

You stared at him for a moment, your mind racing. So, this was it—the moment things changed. The moment you both had been avoiding.

You reached out, placing a hand on his arm, a gentle touch that made him pause. "Ace... I’m not sure how to handle it either."

He looked up at you, and this time, there was no playful smirk, no teasing remark. Just raw honesty.

"I never wanted to hurt you," he said, his voice softer than usual. "I don’t want this to complicate things between us. But... I think I’ve already made things complicated."

For a long time, there was nothing but the sound of the waves crashing against the ship, a steady reminder that the world was turning, whether or not you two were ready for it.

You took a deep breath, letting the moment stretch between you like a thread. Then you spoke, your voice barely above a whisper. "I don’t want things to stay the same either."

Ace looked at you, his eyes searching yours for confirmation. You could see the uncertainty in his gaze, but there was something else too—a glimmer of hope.

Without saying another word, you leaned in, pressing your lips to his, feeling the warmth of his breath mix with yours. It was different this time. There was no rush, no fleeting moment. Just you and him, standing on the edge of something new.

When you pulled away, your forehead rested against his. "Maybe we’re both a little lost," you murmured.

Ace chuckled softly, his hands finding their way to your waist, pulling you closer. "Maybe. But at least we're lost together."

The moment was charged, alive with unspoken words and emotions neither of you had fully acknowledged before. And for the first time in what felt like forever, Ace didn’t know what to expect, but he didn’t mind. He had no plans, no expectations. For once, it wasn’t about the next fight or the next adventure. It was about the present, about the warmth of your presence, and the realization that he wanted more of that. He wanted you.

"You know..." Ace broke the silence, his voice carrying the usual warmth but with an edge of vulnerability. "I never thought I’d get caught up like this. I’m not good with relationships. I’ve always thought it was better to keep things simple." He glanced at you, a faint smile playing on his lips. "But with you... it’s different. I can’t ignore it anymore."

You exhaled slowly, processing the depth of what he was saying. "I get it, Ace. I’ve never been good at it either. But... I think I’m starting to feel the same way."

The air between you and Ace was thick with unspoken words and raw desire. Every touch, every kiss seemed to ignite something deeper inside both of you, something that neither of you could hold back anymore. Ace’s hands were everywhere, moving over your skin with an urgency that matched your own. You were no longer just two people caught in a casual arrangement—you were two souls tangled together in a desperate need for more.

His lips moved from your mouth to your neck, his breath warm and ragged against your skin. "You’re driving me insane," Ace groaned, his voice low and filled with hunger. His hands slid down your body, pulling you even closer, the heat between you growing with every passing second.

You let out a breathless laugh, your fingers threading through his messy hair as you pulled him back to your lips. "I think we both are," you whispered, your lips brushing against his. "I can’t stop thinking about you."

Ace’s eyes darkened with that familiar fire, his fingers tightening around your waist as if to pull you closer still. He pulled back slightly, his breathing shallow. "Are you sure? Because I don’t think I can stop either."

His words were a challenge, and you could feel the heat rising between you, a magnetic pull that you couldn’t deny. "Then don’t," you answered, your voice barely above a whisper, but with an intensity that made his pulse quicken.

Without another word, Ace captured your lips once more, this time with a fervor that matched the storm inside him. His hands roamed over your body, taking his time as he explored every curve, every inch of your skin as though he were trying to memorize it. You didn’t stop him. You didn’t want him to.

His lips trailed down your neck again, the sensation making you shiver. "I’ve never been this close to losing control," Ace muttered, his breath hot against your skin, his fingers moving to trace the edge of your shirt. "I’ve never felt like this before... with anyone."

You could feel his hands trembling as they slid under your shirt, caressing your back, his touch leaving a trail of fire in its wake. "Then don’t fight it," you whispered, your voice thick with desire, a challenge of your own. "Let go."

It was all the invitation he needed.

Ace’s lips found your collarbone, his mouth pressing against your skin in a series of heated kisses that made your heart race. His hands slid lower, expertly undressing you piece by piece, as if every layer of clothing was a barrier he couldn’t wait to tear down. And you welcomed it. You welcomed him.

When your shirt finally came off, Ace didn’t hesitate. His hands found your chest, his touch rough but gentle in the same breath, his eyes never leaving yours as if searching for any sign of hesitation. But you weren’t about to pull away. You wanted this. You wanted him.

He groaned low in his throat, his fingers grazing over your sensitive skin, making you arch into him, craving more. "Damn," he muttered, his lips trailing down to your chest. "You don’t know what you do to me."

You gasped as his lips found a sensitive spot just beneath your ear, his hands now roaming freely, memorizing every inch of you. "Ace..." you breathed, your voice barely a whisper as his mouth moved lower, his kisses growing hungrier, more urgent. "Please…"

Ace paused for a moment, looking up at you with an intensity that took your breath away. His hands were on your thighs now, fingers sliding up your legs, sending shivers down your spine. "What do you want?" he asked, his voice low and gravelly, his breath heavy with desire.

You bit your lip, trying to regain some composure, but the tension in your body was overwhelming. "You," you said simply, your hands pulling him closer, urging him on.

The moment those words left your lips, Ace’s restraint snapped. He pulled you toward him, his lips finding yours once again, this kiss fiercer than before, driven by pure, unrelenting need. There was no teasing now, no hesitations. Just the overwhelming urge to lose yourself in each other.

His hands moved swiftly, undressing you completely, and in return, you did the same, your fingers trembling as you pulled off his shirt and pants, revealing the toned body you had seen only in passing but never truly had the chance to admire up close. Now, with him inches away from you, your hands roamed over his chest, your breath catching in your throat at the feeling of his hard muscles beneath your touch.

With a growl of frustration and desire, Ace finally took control, his lips trailing down to your chest, his tongue flicking over your sensitive skin, drawing a moan from your lips. You couldn’t hold back anymore—every touch, every kiss was driving you wild, and you knew you were on the edge of losing yourself completely.

"Ace... please," you whimpered, your hands pulling at his hair, urging him on.

He responded with a hunger that matched your own, pushing you back against the railing of the ship, the cool night air suddenly feeling like a distant memory as his body pressed against yours. Every inch of your skin seemed to hum in response to his touch, your body alive with sensation.

"I need you," Ace murmured, his lips moving against your neck as his hands slid down your body, pulling your legs around his waist. "I want to feel all of you."

And as he finally slid into you, both of you gasped at the sensation—the slow, deliberate stretch, the overwhelming feeling of being connected in a way neither of you had ever felt before. It was more than just physical. It was a raw, unfiltered connection. A promise, perhaps, that nothing would ever be the same again.

As the night wore on, you and Ace gave in to each other completely, no longer fighting the attraction that had been building for so long. The waves crashed beneath you, the ship rocking in time with your bodies, as you both found your release in the most intense way.

When it was over, you lay together, breathing heavily, tangled in each other’s arms. The world seemed to stop, the weight of what had just happened settling over you both.

Ace kissed your forehead gently, his hand caressing your back as he pulled you closer. "So, now what?" he asked quietly, his voice softer, his earlier intensity still lingering in the air.

You smiled, pressing a kiss to his chest. "I guess we’ll figure that out together."

He chuckled, his fingers gently tracing circles on your skin. "Yeah, I guess we will."

♡♡♡

© 2025 arixella | please do not plagiarize or translate any of my work without my consent.

[nostarfights]

I Wish You Would

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X blackwidow!fem!Reader

Summary: After months of falling for each other, you and Bucky are finally forced to face your feelings for each other.

Warnings: Mentions of the reader and Bucky’s traumatizing pasts and Bucky getting injured, enemies to lovers, arguing, kissing and a few uses of y/n.

Word Count: 2.3K

a/n: lol sorry this kind of sucks but i hope y’all like it anyway :) happy thunderbolts trailer release day!

the gif below does not belong to me

Even after the Red Room destroyed every bit of your personality, you still felt that you were easy to get along with. Even after you slowly became yourself again and learned what it meant to be somewhat normal in your new position as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, repaying your debts to society, you still remained kind to those who deserved it. You got along with everyone, except for Bucky.

He always knew exactly how to push your buttons and no matter how much you pushed his buttons, the feelings you had for him never truly went away. You hated these feelings as much as you seemed to hate him, you felt weak for falling in love with him. Especially after all of your time in the Red Room where the idea that you were a weapon not a normal person who did and felt normal things was drilled into your head, along with many other things. And although you were now free, that idea that falling in love made you weak still lingered in your head. 

But luckily enough for you, it was easy to avoid Bucky around the tower due to the fact that Fury had only paired the two of you up once since you became a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent and later an Avenger two years ago. That exact mission being the one that sparked your feelings for Buck as well as the hatred for these feelings and yourself for feeling them.

You wished that you could stop loving Bucky and go on with your life, but it was impossible. It was as if he had dug himself into your heart and refused to leave, you could never get him off of your mind. No matter how many dates you went on in an attempt to forget him, Bucky always crawled back into your mind. 

So, as a way of dealing with your feelings, you were never kind to Bucky like you were to any other member of the Avengers, arguing with him any chance you got. And deep down, you knew how immature this was but in your mind it was better to be angry at Bucky than in love with him.

Meanwhile, Bucky was going through something quite similar. Given your similar pasts, Bucky was also made to feel as if he was nothing more than a weapon and even though he had been free longer than you had, he still struggled to lead a “normal” life. Whatever that meant. And just like you, he too fell in love with you on that very first mission you went on together. So, he took every bit of anger he had in him out on you, arguing with you anytime the two of you interacted or you even glanced at him.

During his time as the Winter Soldier, Bucky had forgotten how to do a lot of things. He forgot how to love, how to be a person not a weapon, how to deal with feelings that weren’t anger or rage and how to let his guard down around people he knew he could trust. Now that Bucky was a free man and still adjusting to his freedom day by day, the realization that he had fallen in love with you terrified him.

He didn’t know how to love anymore, after all that was something he hadn’t done since before HYDRA had kidnapped him decades ago.

As much as he hated these feelings, he hated you even more for causing him to fall in love with you. He knew that he was at fault for falling in love with you but at times, he felt as if it was your fault due to the fact that aside from Steve, he felt like you were the only other person who understood what he had gone through for years. He opened himself up to you during that first mission, inevitably regretting it after he fell for you. So, as another way of dealing with his feelings, Bucky requested that both Fury and Tony never put you on another mission with him again and they agreed.

He truly could not stand to be around you as long as he was still in love with you.

Ignoring each other and arguing when you did have to interact worked well enough for both of you and was in a way making it easier to deal with the strong feelings of love you felt. That was until Tony called the two of you into his office one day to tell you that you had been assigned to go on a mission together, immediately causing both of you to start to argue.

“What?! Is no one else available for this mission? I don’t want to spend a week alone with him!” you said to Tony, already fuming over the idea of having to spend that much time alone with the man you were head over heels in love with. Tony sighed then spoke again, “No, (y/n), no one else is available. You two are just going to have to learn to get along.” he said, an annoyed look still present on his face. 

“Are you sure I can’t just do this mission alone? Let’s not forget (y/n) over here “accidentally” abandoned Clint during her last mission.” Bucky argued as you frowned, reminding you of your bad habit of running off on your own during missions because of how used to working alone you had been after becoming a Widow. “No, you have to do it together and that’s final. I don’t have time for any more of your arguing.” Tony fired back, tired of you and Bucky being at each other’s throats all the time. 

“Fine!” you both said in unison before promptly storming out of Tony’s office in opposite directions.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You and Bucky were now three days into the mission and still living in the safehouse that was in the middle of the woods. Awaiting for the man you were sent to catch to come back to this area he supposedly frequented–according to a tip you had received–before their plans to level New York with a bomb was complete. 

While you were there the two of you took turns surveying the area and watching out for this guy. One of you would sleep during the night while the other kept watch and during the day whoever stayed up all night would take a nap until the early afternoon then go to their hiding place.

And unsurprisingly, you and Bucky had argued multiple times everyday since you arrived. But you had to admit, you were beginning to grow tired of the constant arguing. Maybe being in love wasn’t such a bad thing? After all, you had seen how healthy Pepper and Tony’s relationship was and the fact that their love for one another never weakened either of them. They seemed stronger with each other by their side. 

As you and Bucky surveyed the area in your hiding spots up in the trees, these thoughts helped you come to terms with the fact that you were in love with Bucky and that was okay. Being in love with him was now no longer a bad thing to you and now that you felt this way after fully processing your feelings, you promised yourself that you were going to be a lot nicer to Bucky, like you should have been all along. He deserved more kindness in his life and you felt like a fool for letting your feelings and hatred for them blind you.

“Hey! Pay attention!” Bucky shouted at you through the walkie talkie attached to your belt after he had seen you lower your binoculars while you were lost in thought. “Sorry.” you quietly said back before you then raised your binoculars back up to your face, now back in the present instead of letting your mind race.

The lack of any sort of insult or argument in your response confused Bucky. The two of you had argued almost everyday for the past two years and now you suddenly weren’t? It didn’t make sense at all to Bucky. And in this moment, Bucky began to wonder if the reason for your mean behavior was the same as his.

Thoughts of the possibility of you loving him back raced through his mind. And as these thoughts went through his head, Bucky also began to wonder what he was going to do. But for the time being, he decided that the least he could do was willingly show you the kinder side of his personality like he had two years ago.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

That night once the sun had gone down and you were sure that there was no chance of the guy you were looking for appearing while you went back to the safe house, you both climbed down from your hiding spots in the trees and started to walk back, neither of you saying a single word the entire time.

“Hey, what’s up with you today? We haven’t argued at all.” Bucky said as he stopped you near the front door to the safehouse, making you tempted to fire back with a rude response like you usually did but you remained calm. “Nothing, I’m fine. I just don't feel like arguing with you anymore. Y’know?” you simply said while you started to walk again and entered the house. This response confused Bucky even more. Maybe you did actually love him? “Yeah, I guess.” he sheepishly replied as he followed you, the house still noticeably cold even with the heat on.

As for the rest of the night, it was your turn to eat a quick dinner, shower and go to sleep while Bucky kept watch. It took you a while to fall asleep but once you did, you were thrown into nightmare after nightmare, each one worse than the last.

But the one that your brain decided to focus on the longest reminded you of every bit of trauma you had experienced in the Red Room. In this nightmare, you were back in the Red Room and the speakers in there blared the sound of Dreykov’s voice screaming that you were a weak little girl and no one was coming to save you over and over again while you were forced to fight to the death the girls who had been in the program with you while red lights flashed, almost completely blinding you.

Meanwhile, the sound of your screams and thrashing coming from the bedroom as you went through this horrible nightmare alerted Bucky and he rushed over to you right away, turning the lights on as he entered the room. The second he reached you, he placed his hands on your shoulders as he sat next to you on the bed and shook you awake, “(Y/N)!” he shouted a few times as he continued to try to wake you up. And luckily you quickly awoke within one minute after Bucky had initially entered the room, freeing you–for now–from the trauma that has taunted you for years.

“Bucky!” you called out once you opened your eyes and saw him there, tackling him in a hug the second you were fully conscious. In this moment as you hugged a now shocked Bucky, you felt extremely glad that it was just a dream and you weren’t back there, fighting for your life. You were safe and in the arms of the man you loved.

“It’s okay, doll. You’re safe, I’m here.” he murmured into your ear as he held you close and slowly rocked you back and forth, one hand on the back of your head while his other arm was wrapped around your body.

The sound of that nickname as well as his touch ignited something in you, causing you to feel the need to tell him how you felt immediately as your cheeks blushed and goosebumps appeared on your arms. 

“There’s something I need to tell you. I love you Bucky, that’s why I‘ve always been so mean to you. I was a fool and couldn’t deal with the fact that I had fallen in love with someone after being told for years that falling in love was a sign of weakness and not something meant for me. But I’ve realized that I’m not weak for loving you.” you quickly explained once you had left Bucky’s arms, not having the strength to hold back your feelings for another second.

As soon as Bucky heard these words leave your lips, a feeling of relief washed over him and he realized that he wasn’t weak either for loving you. Hearing this admission from you healed him in a way and reminded him that he wasn’t the emotionless monster HYDRA had turned him into anymore. 

Not feeling the need to say another word in this moment, Bucky softly grabbed your face in both of his warm hands and passionately kissed you, hoping that this kiss conveyed to you how he felt. “We’re so stupid,” he said with a laugh once he had pulled away from your lips, your face slowly leaving his hands, “I love you too and I have since that first mission we ever went on together. I’m sorry I was so mean, I shouldn’t have taken the anger I was feeling out on you. You helped me learn how to love again, I need you to know that.” he replied, explaining himself as he looked into your eyes. “I’m sorry too, Buck.” you said before you then swiftly pulled him in for another kiss.

“Be my girl, doll, please.” Bucky begged once your lips separated moments later. “I always have been.” you whispered to him as you gazed back into his eyes, prompting both of you to tightly hug each other once more, cheeks blushing.

NAVIGATION

[rafesbuzzcutseason]

chasing city lights

chapter 10 - vulnerability

synopsis: you move to new york to start fresh, hoping to find comfort in the city’s atmosphere. that’s when you meet sarah cameron, where she takes you to a concert and you catch sight of the lead band member, rafe cameron. it only takes a moment for you to realize you’re captivated by him. as sarah helps you navigate your new life in the city, you start to get pulled deeper into rafe's world—the music, the fame, the chaos. the more you get to know him, the more you realise that rafe is not just the rock star he seems to be. he’s wrestling with his own demons, and the last thing he needs is someone like you getting close.

masterlist

cw: language, fluff central

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ ☾. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

you and rafe had spent the whole afternoon together and it had been everything and more. just like he had promised the other week, he was showing you around LA and never leaving your side.

the sun was beginning to set, painting the sky in shades of pink and orange as you walked along venice beach, his fingers brushing against yours in a way that made your heart race.

"you know," rafe said with a smile, glancing over at you, "i’m glad we’re doing this. not just the tour thing, but... you and me, this."

his words hit differently now, sitting down on the beach to watch the gentle waves and the sky change colours.

you looked over at him, "me too," you said softly, a smile tugging at your lips.

he grinned back, his playful energy still present, but a hint of seriousness took over him. "i've never done this before." he admitted.

"done what?" you asked him.

"caught feelings like this." he spoke softly, almost scared to say the words out loud.

you reached out to touch his cheek, "me neither rafe." you held his gaze, "there's still so much we have to learn about each other."

"i know, and that's what i'm scared of."

"why?" you questioned.

"i'm scared you won't like the version of me you uncover. i'm not good with my words but, i didn't used to be a good person. i was addicted to drugs, i bought girls home every night to fill a void, i was so unhappy and treated people so badly. but this," he stuck his hands out and pointed between the two of you, "i've never experienced this."

his truth taking you by surprise, but making your heart swell that he was opening up to you this way. "i'm not scared rafe. the rafe i know now is a good guy. i've never met someone like you and i want to know all parts of you even those that you think i won't like."

rafe let out a soft, almost shaky breath at your words. it was as if you had taken a weight off his shoulders without even realising it. his eyes softened, and the air between you two stilled for a moment.

his eyes didn't leave yours, no response was needed, but he pulled you in for a soft kiss full of emotion.

he pulled away to stare at you for a moment, searching your face for any sign of doubt, but there was none.

"i’ve been thinking about you a lot," he admitted, almost too quietly. "more than i thought i would. i know we’re still figuring things out, but i can’t help but want to be around you. want to be better because of you."

your heart fluttered at the honesty in his words, the vulnerability making you weak, all laid out in front you.

"rafe, you’re already better. you’ve made it this far and the fact that you're here with me, saying this stuff, shows me just how far you've come. you don’t have to prove anything."

his lips parted as if he was going to say something, but instead, he just smiled. without another word, he reached out, carefully taking your hand into his, the touch gentle, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

after many hours had passed of gentle touches and soft conversation, you headed back to the hotel in time to join the others and pack before your flight back home tomorrow.

your chest was full of happiness, feeling ready for what was to come.

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ ☾. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

a/n: why am i crying writing this they are so cute i hate them

taglist: @hoefordrewstarkey @marleymarleymarleymarley @bee-43 @cherryhoneybabe @skye-44 @drewrry @drewrry  @yesterdaysproblemm @pogueprincesa @dylsdaily @rafeysworldim19 @valyrianflower @kaiparkerwifes @judesgfirl @4urvalidation @chillgal135 @drewstarkeyslover @yesshewrites1 @amterasuu@babykhloutofthisworld @blushmimi  @moonywhisp3rs @rafeysworldim19 @marleymarleymarleymarley @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @vcnillafairy @bambii1i @sammyrenae68

i will be taking people off taglist if that don't interact! just as more people want to be added and need to make it fair<3

[invested-in-your-future]

The Portrayal of DID in Ave Mujica

(I have to preface this by saying that I am approaching this from a narrative writing standpoint and from my own personal delving into psychology overall. The subject topic is complex and the medical knowledge on it is ever-evolving, so if any of my notions are outdated, I am very, so very sorry.)

(I also understand that the topic of trauma and DID might be a triggering experience to some people, so caution is advised.)

(The discussion will also have open spoilers about the show and as such is tagged with spoiler tags.)

If there's one thing I would never expect when watching a music show, it is for it to turn into a deeply introspective psychological drama about flawed characters grappling with anxiety, mental wellness, toxicity and so on.

I did something like this a few times before and I can't help but want to explore and convey my thoughts on the character writing and handling of dissociative identity disorder within this show.

Now, Ave Mujica's predecessor, MYGO (to which Ave Mujica is a sequel), did play with the portrayal of neurodivergent-coded traits and still remains one of the best attempts at that overall, but a lot of that could be written off as subtextual.

So Ave Mujica portraying DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) in a textual way comes as a surprise.

What's even bigger surprise is the lengths the show goes to make the portrayal feel authentic and how up-to-date the overall knowledge within the writing is.

Now, for starters, some explanation is needed.

What is DID?

Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) is a type of dissociative disorder that usually develops in early childhood due to traumatic experiences—most often emotional or physical abuse or neglect.

The conditions within the environment lead to a child failing to integrate into a unified identity due to compartmentalizing their trauma and various other facotrs. In layman's terms, "distancing themselves" from their own psychological trauma.

The key aspect to understand is dissociation, a concept that is crucial to DID but NOT limited to it. To quickly explain what dissociation is—to handle specific amounts of stress and trauma, the brain copes with the information via "disconnecting" one's sense of self from perception.

Dissociation is actually a very common reaction to trauma and can manifest in different ways without it being DID (hence dissociative disorders being a whole branch of stuff)—like, for example, dissociative amnesia, where a person might forget selective memories associated with a traumatic event.

Grief tends to sometimes lead to dissociation, especially during the early phases, too.

Another common example is depersonalization, which involves "perceiving yourself as an out-of-body observer," which usually involves an altered perception of time too, with time slowing down or speeding up or the concept of time losing meaning.

Both of those can manifest as part of DID, but can also exist separately—for example, derealization and depersonalization can be symptomatic of PTSD.

DID in itself as a concept is about a person at a young age failing to integrate into "one".

The way a child's growth goes is that the mind reintegrates and parses those their experiences and traumas shaping their identity. Experiencing dissociation doesn't instantly mean DID, because dissociation by itself is a common trauma-parsing mechanism, as I said before. A child can experience trauma, neglect, or abuse without it leading to DID.

In the case of DID, the child fails to integrate, the trauma/abuse/neglect instead leading to compartmentalized elements working together—a system.

It's important to note that trauma doesn't create alters, as it's been thought for a while. It's not something fake or "split" or "created"—the system is all the alters as equally "real"; it's just that alters themselves might have different traits of the identity.

While alters are identities, they aren't necessarily separate people—they are a system. Alters might differ from each other, and have separate memories, and skill sets, but every alter is part of that system. Alters don't appear out of thin air as separate entities and it's better to view a system as an entity comprised of equally real alters functioning together, with the "primary" one (the one that's out for the longest periods) being often called "the host".

Thus, alters can be subtle and almost indistinguishable from the host. And even if they have distinct personality traits, most alters would have an awareness to "fit in" by not standing out, instead internalizing them and trying to mimic the host personality (because it's "normal").

There isn't a secret evil spirit or a ninja assassin living in a person—portrayals like that (ex: the movie "Split") are extremely harmful because they perpetuate a toxic stereotype that just isn't true.

There's no "real personality and fake personalities" and so on. The current understanding of DID is a child at a young age, due to internal and external factors, failing to integrate into a singular identity.

Now depending on how young we talking, the person might have had a personality-before or might not have at the point DID develops, but the concept of "original/core" personalities is currently considered antiquated.

And just like alters aren't "created," they can't "die" either.

Now that this covered basic terminology and information, I can actually discuss about the show itself.

First, let's talk about Mutsumi and her character.

Mutsumi

From the very first appearance in MYGO, the characterization conveys the personality of someone who is stoic, internalizes her emotions, and has trouble communicating with others—her first spoken line in the show is ambiguous.

Mutsumi is a stoic, shy student who had been in a band together with her childhood friend, Sakiko, and three other people. The band imploded after her childhood friend suffered from circumstances she felt she couldn't share with others and disbanded it.

The character is often coerced or influenced by others to do things for them and plays more of the role of an observer.

It becomes quickly obvious that Mutsumi herself is extremely uncomfortable with this role—not only blaming herself for the band's breakup but also feeling awful about her friends' mental well-being afterward.

Meanwhile, Mutsumi's childhood is no better—as a child of a star actress and a famous comedian, Mutsumi didn't have what one could call "a normal childhood.". Her parents had surrounded her with wealth but at the same time had adopted a completely hands-off approach, which led to her feeling neglected and alone. For example, she doesn't even call her mother and father dad/mom/father/mother/etc., instead opting to refer to them by their first names like friends would do. The mother is also enamored with being an actress—for example, one of the things she would offer her daughter's friends visiting would be to watch movies she starred in.

The show makes sure the audience gets a sense of the scale of her home life—a luxurious house filled with servants where her mother is a star rather than a parent.

What's more, due to the circumstances of her parents she's constantly compared to her mother and father and their talents, with expectations placed to follow in their footsteps. This ends up with her feeling like she has nothing of her own in her life—whatever praise or expectation is placed upon her ties to The Star Actress and The Comedian instead of who Mutsumi is as a person.

As a result, she values the bonds she has formed with other people a lot. She cares deeply about her childhood friend (whose family circumstances are the actual reason for the band breakup), and she cares about the one other bandmate who had kept in touch with her (the person who is mainly keeping in touch due to selfish goals though).

So when her friend decides to create a new band, Mutsumi feels responsible to support her and help her.

Unfortunately for her, her friend is going through a lot emotionally, and the entirety of the new band consists of a lot of openly toxic individuals.

Thus she is placed into a situation where she has to juggle the neglect and distance she feels at home, the expectations her suffering friend is placing upon her, the expectations the world has for her due to her parents, and the pressure from being a member of an extremely popular band—a tough deal for someone who from the beginning had trouble expressing herself.

But hey, at least since the band has the whole pseudo-visual-kei thing going for it, she will be able to wear a mask.

Which is where her journey through Ave Mujica starts.

Ave Mujica and DID

The first notable thing we see happen is her struggling with an interview, reinforcing the idea that she has trouble expressing herself.

Ironically, this is another case where someone else ends up speaking over her.

The episode ends with the first notable trigger for her emotional state worsening, which is one of the bandmates going off-script and ruining the whole "secret identity" thing by unmasking them live on stage to an audience of hundreds if not thousands.

Considering her character set-up and her issues and insecurities, this is about the second most terrifying thing to Mutsumi in the entire world.

As the bandmates argue and blame each other over what had happened, the show then proceeds to take time to showcase how the pressure and the stress of what had happened affect her psychologically and emotionally.

This is a character who had been defined by the impostor syndrome caused by the neglect of her parents and comparisons society draws to them due to their fame—essentially getting doxxed live to an audience of hundreds if not more.

The show then dedicates its runtime to showcase how this character is slowly ground down by the building up pressure and anxiety, the dam breaking due to the traumatic experience—especially when she flubs an interview, causing even more tension and pressure.

"Don't speak out; play your role; don't make mistakes; be perfect or people will hate you."

The show makes sure to slowly build tension and highlight the growing anxiety and the increasing levels of dissociation the character experiences from the world around her as she goes through interviews and photoshoots—interactions that only worsen her mental state by anxiously comparing her to her parents or reminding her of the mistakes she made, as numbness overtakes her.

The anxiety, the stress, and the tension within all build to the point of insomnia as the character retreats to the one place she was implied to feel safe in throughout the show—the rehearsal room at home where she would spend time alone playing her guitar.

Because, again, as implied, her parents don't exactly pay any attention to her beyond showering her with wealth, and everyone else views her as an extension of her parents. So for her this is one spot that is truly hers.

And even that spot has now been taken because her mother had offered the whole band to use the rehearsal room. It's no longer just her space.

Depression, anxiety, and insomnia are but a few of the things that both influence and happen as a result of dissociative disorders

The show highlights the character's worsening physical state due to her deteriorating emotional state, to the point that the character has trouble walking down the hallway.

More importantly, the people around her—her band, her parents, her friend—they don't realize that. If anything, they put more pressure on her shoulders, they tell her to not stand out, to play the role to perfection, to not ruin the performance or further ruin the band's reputation.

The pressure and tension build to the point where the show depicts the first on-screen dissociative episode for the character.

Experiencing dissociation from gazing into a mirror is actually pretty common, as is the idea of recognizing your reflection as someone else. It's not limited to DID, however. There are common experiences where people suffering from anxiety might feel a sensation that they are looking at a stranger for example. Gender dysphoria might also elicit a feeling that the reflection is "wrong".

The show also showcases another common DID symptom: losing large chunks of time as the character finds themselves jumping from the changing room to the middle of the scene without knowing how she had gotten there.

The scene also involves the character witnessing(and more importantly, recognizing) multiple of herself. While the most common way for the host personality to perceive alters is auditory, visual perception is also possible, as are all other senses.

The series of visual hallucinations ends with a character making a mistake live on stage and experiencing a complete dissociation as she slumps onto a stage prop chair motionless like a doll with strings cut..

Essentially, this is a moment when no one is in control. The host personality has experienced complete dissociation, but neither the host personality nor any alters are "behind the wheel.".

Now, to this point, the idea is still subtextual (barely) in that the story shows but doesn't tell what is happening.

However, what comes after this grows more and more textual.

The dissociative episode and perceiving multiple of "you" leads to the character experiencing even more vivid hallucinations.

This time, however, the character directly acknowledges and converses with an alter within her mind-space.

Having a healthy and proper way of communication between host and alter(s) is actually crucial to functioning as a healthy system and living with DID.

Most of the conversation, however, happens within mind-space, as the character relives her past experiences and memories as if she were watching them as an observer, with the alter narrating her life's story.

The mindscape is often metaphorical so the alters don't necessarily always appear human, but they always would be "humanlike", because the brain perceives the alter as alive. The form alters might take within the mindscape is often dependent on the kind of trauma a person has suffered.

The story as narrated by the alter establishes the reason behind why the character values playing the guitar so much—because it's something truly hers, something she had learned on her own and something that is in no way "because of her parents".

But she feels like she's not good enough.

She can't be expressive, she has trouble communicating her emotions, and thus her playing skills, while technically perfect, lack that self-expression capability.

She can't make the guitar sing.

And thus due to impostor syndrome, she concludes that being "wrong" somehow is why the bands she gets involved with on her friend's behalf keep breaking up—why her best friend keeps suffering.

A person suffering from anxiety, trauma, and neglect, someone who has issues expressing themselves, would often wrestle with issues of self-hate and depression and Mutsumi is no different there.

Experiencing one's own memories from an outside perspective, as if watching a movie or seeing themselves from outside observing something is once again quite common in terms of DID.

As the toxicity within the band keeps growing and her friend keeps suffering, the character's anxiety and stress build further, the auditory and visual hallucinations intensifying.

Just a reminder that while this goes on and Mutsumi slips in and out of her mindscape, her best friend, her parents, and the whole band are completely unaware of any of this. In their minds, the dissociative episode she had experienced was "her acting out" or "acting" or just being "closed-off".

This is the first case where the alter has a direct and open back-and-forth conversation with the Mutsumi, rather than narrating her life like before.

Alters within a system often end up serving specific purposes—because they are more comfortable doing something the host alter isn't. Sometimes it's a single memory the host can't parse or a personality trait.

The alter in question showcases worry for the host's well-being—A Protector.

The alter represents worry over the character's own well-being and where the current stressful self-destructive path may lead.

(Important Note: I do feel the need to say that alters do not neatly fall into classifications and there's not some "class system" for Alters that is always true. There are many complex reasons for how alters within a system can be and there's a lot still unknown, as is true with the overall human mind. Since alters aren't created or "split", an alter merely providing a specific role doesn't mean they exist solely for that role, as it becomes clear with the case within the show too.)

The alter believes that if Mutsumi stays with the band, she will experience the full brunt of the band imploding and the alter also perceives Sakiko as someone who is not healthy for the character—toxic even.

Mutsumi however reaffirms that she wants to support her friend no matter what, to always be by her side.

Eventually, however, as the days go on, and the band keeps arguing, the character ends up tying together what is happening now with a traumatic event in her past—her best friend's previous band imploding in a similar fashion.

The character draws parallels between the two situations—between two traumatic experiences—which further worsens their wellbeing.

As a side note I do love Dutch-angles and how universal they are in conveying things going wrong somehow or being unsettling.

All of this leads to the final straw—a confrontation with her best friend, where the character ends up being accused of "not being good enough" and "not supporting her like a friend should".

Why can't she smile or talk or be more social?

Now I do feel the need to interject and say that while her friend is completely in the wrong here, things aren't that simple. Sakiko also has her own issues, depression, traumatic experiences, and absolutely horrible life—all of which she is unable to properly parse and thus turns towards alienating everyone who cares for her rather than showing how hurt she is.

This is the final straw, the moment where the anxiety and traumatic experiences build up to the point where the host just wants to escape.

A moment where subconsciously she'd want to turn to the someone for help.

This is also the first time this alter is properly given a name (one of Mutsumi's stage persona, Mortis).

The scene is eerie and haunting, but it has to be—sleeping is as close as the situation can get to ego-death.

(Because, like I mentioned before, parts of a system can't "die".)

Once the stage play starts, both the bandmates and the audience are treated to a performance that is unlike the character's usual self.

Mortis fulfills their role, shielding the host from a traumatic experience, taking it up to themselves to do something the host would suffer trying to do. In this case, it's to pretend everything is fine and play the role her best friend expects her in the band—to smile and to talk and to help keep it together.

From this point on, Mortis is in control.

She smiles, is social, and delivers efficient jokes to lighten up the mood—she pays attention to the wellbeing of other bandmates and is extremely expressive.

It needs to be noted that the bandmates and parents STILL have no clue. The other bandmembers barely knew her for a month so they don't really see anything wrong with the change in how the character behaves. If anything they see it as an improvement.

Mortis is doing everything they can to do what the host was too anxious to—to be a perfect actress, supportive and caring for the band, and nurturing an environment where the band stays together.

There are a few problems, however.

For starters, Mortis doesn't know how to play guitar, at all.

It's a skill and talent the host alter developed and as far as systems go not everyone would have access to the same memories, experiences, or skills and it's possible for alters to develop different skills than the host too.

And second of all, as the one who wants to protect Mutsumi, Mortis feels disdain towards the main source of Mutsumi's anxiety and depression—her childhood friend, Sakiko.

In Mortis's eyes, the dissociative episode the host suffered and the extreme amounts of anxiety and stress are all because of Sakiko.

This comes to a head in a scene where Sakiko, after spending a whole episode feeling uneasy because of how different Mutsumi is now, decides to have a one-on-one talk with her about what's going on.

It's in this scene that the show textually acknowledges DID.

What finally tips her off is that Mortis refers to her differently than Mutsumi would.

This scene also provides a direct affirmation of the fact that parts of a system don't "die"—they might however go dormant and "fall asleep".

As a side note, the scene does contain ominous framing, but it's mainly due to it mainly being from Sakiko's POV. The writing, however, makes it extremely clear Mortis isn't a villain as much as someone protective of Mutsumi and spiteful towards Sakiko due to her neglect of her best friend—and that Mortis isn't entirely wrong to blame Sakiko for this.

This is kind of surprising because that's pretty "new" information as far as the medical topic of DID goes. People used to think alters could die due to a faulty understanding of the idea stemming from the older now debunked theories as I mentioned before.

The reality, however, is, that alters aren't really something "different" nor "created/split"—a system has the same brain, and the same biological functions, which means the brain can't perceive itself as "dead".

DID develops at a young age due to neglect trauma or abuse. It doesn't suddenly happen because of some extremely tragic event as fiction often depicts it (the tragic events however can cause the host to dissociate and push specific trauma onto an existing alter).

The show, once again, acknowledges that too!

The scene basically spells out that Mutsumi's DID developed at a young age as a result of parental neglect and anxiety. Note that the show doesn't imply Mortis "having been created" ever.

Mortis basically spells out what Mutsumi wouldn't have been able to say—she speaks of the stress the band had caused Mutsumi and how Sakiko's neglect and toxicity ended up causing her to retreat into sleep.

(Once again have to add this: Alters can differ in terms of their thoughts, species, speech patterns, gender orientation, etc. Alters even can have different heart rates, eyesight, and how they respond to allergies.)

Mortis is resolute to protect Mutsumi and her band, but she's also a child—one that can be very blunt in the ways Mutsumi isn't and also naive in the way Mutsumi wouldn't be.

She can't help but detest Sakiko for her toxicity and the trauma it has caused.

She bluntly states that Mutsumi ceding control to Mortis is Sakiko's fault and if Sakiko keeps acting this way instead of actually parsing her problems, Mutsumi might never return.

Mortis isn't merely "a role protecting someone". She is childish and she is, in a way spiteful and she has an opinion about Sakiko that Mutsumi might not agree with.

There's a struggle there because the dissociation between the two alters is too big—there's a lack of communication as once Mutsumi gets to interact with Mortis again, the two are talking past each other.

Mortis is way too focused on what Sakiko had caused and on how it had hurt Mutsumi, while Mutsumi is still ever so focused on how much Sakiko herself is hurting and ignoring her own problems.

It's somewhat common for alters to communicate their memories or experiences with each other via mindspace creating a filing system of sorts as some described it as a computer with a search bar or a cabinet.

The show makes sure to highlight the dissociation currently between Mutsumi and Mortis and the communication between the alters having been strained due to conflicting motives and viewpoints on their mental wellness and how much a person Mutsumi cares about affected it.

The show also doesn't shy away from the problematic treatment of mental wellness in the world and how often it gets sensationalized.

The first major example is the public's reaction to Mutsumi dissociating on the stage—the band is flooded with demands to REPEAT that "performance". In fact multiple show appearances and stuff set that as a condition for the band appearing at all. To the public there's not even an ounce of worry that this was something real—to it couldn't have been anything but acting. Which is actually a common toxic reaction towards systems in the real world. Even within the Ave Mujica tags there were people screaming how "Mutsumi must be just pretending to have it".

Even one of Mutsumi's teammates mistakes her dissociation and Mortis for masterclass acting talent and is STILL haunted and feeling inferior by it even after she KNOWS what actually happened.

The characters also use the outdated term "split personality" when conversing about Mutsumi and Mortis and a majority of the cast doesn't "get" what this is and are way out of their depths—Sakiko blames herself for "having broken" Mutsumi, Umiri and Uika just completely don't care, Nyamu feels insecure and the MYGO cast are also just as out of their depths even though they display far more empathy.

It's a sheer contrast to one character who has no direct connection to Mutsumi but is known for her blunt nature and ends up recognizing both Mutsumi and Mortis as individuals (even asking for the name of each alter when they exchange introductions) and befriending Mortis.

Likewise, when Mutsumi and Mortis end up arguing over their motives and goals and falling down the stairs, the first reactions the onlookers have is to...snap photos and film the situation because it's a famous person and maybe this is some performance too! A completely cold and cruel audience of observes that keeps snapping photos even as another characters desperately begs them not to film this.

And of course, it gets shared and goes viral on social media.

Overall so far the representation of DID and overall mental-wellness issues in Ave Mujica (and MYGO) have been the series highlight and I certainly hope the show continues to treat the subject matter with care and research needed as it further delves into the character.

Another highlight is the variety of issues and insecurities the other main characters are facing—from Sakiko's complex traumatic experiences and implied self-harm tendencies, to Uika's obsession, to Nyamu's insecurities to Umiri's complete emotional disconnect and compartmentalizing to the point others see her as lacking empathy (even though that last scene implies it's not completely true, so we don't really know what's exactly going on there).

Ave Mujica, if it lands, is shaping up to be one of the best shows in a while when it comes to character introspection and psychological themes.

[paradoxic-ally]

Nevermore Theory

Alright, I’m finally going to go out and post my own Nevermore theory, now that the comic has returned. A lot of the things I wanna talk about are already pretty popular subjects of theory in the fandom (“Who killed Annabel Lee?”), but I wanna tackle a few points I rarely see addressed.

I am going to put all of this under the general thesis of: “The deans don’t lie, but they deliberately mislead.”

Unscientifically speaking, every time the deans come out and tell us something, my bullshit senses go off big time! I want to focus on two main claims they have made, that influence how we view the story in a major way: Who killed Annabel Lee and What’s up with the new life?

1. Who killed Annabel Lee?

I feel it necessary to type out the exact wording the deans use, because it is often misread or misremembered. Don’t worry, that is by design!

“Betrayed by the one who loved you above all else.”

“Who loved YOU” and not “Who YOU loved”. I think that distinction is very important and easily missed. Especially since the expressed purpose of the deans in that scene is to drive a wedge in Annabel and Lenore’s relationship. Now, you could easily argue, that this still points to Lenore. The two of them are the No. 1 relationship to root for after all. But this is where the second part of the statement comes in: “above all else”. In my opinion, Lenore has already demonstrated that she can and will put other things above Annabel Lee (divorce arc anyone?). I don’t doubt, that Lenore and Annabel were a lot closer when they were still alive, but I also don’t doubt that this is one of Lenore’s core personality traits. The other thing I want to point out is, that you don’t have control about “who loves you the most.” You would hope it is your significant other, or maybe a good friend or even a parent. But you can’t really know that. Which brings me to another part of this theory: “Well, who did it then?”

Short answer, I don’t know, but I have a hunch.

First off, I kind of dismissed her father as a suspect by personal preference. We don’t have a lot to go off here, but I think he is too dismissive of her to fit the description. I’m particularly thinking about the scene where he gushed to “Leo” about boats, rather than playing wingman for his daughter.

My main suspect is instead Annabel’s nameless suitor. We don’t know much about him, other than he has already challenged Annabel multiple times (showing dedication). She says: “I’ve defeated the poor fellow a dozen times now, but he is terribly persistent.” Her father has promised him, that at the end of the season he can marry Annabel if she hasn’t found a husband by then. I can imagine how angry he might be, if that plan doesn’t shake out and she gets engaged to another man, right before he finally gets his wish.

Coming back to the deans, I think we can find that they very deliberately chose their words to lead to a false conclusion. Annabel might know who she loves above all else, but she can’t know who would love her in that way. She is left to make assumptions and we along with her. The words “love” and “betrayal” point to someone close to her, and since she died on her wedding day we are lead to a most likely suspect. That’s how we skip over the precise details of the claim. And the deans have never even uttered a lie.

2. What about the new life?

“If you survive these exams you’ll get a chance at a new life.”

That’s the first claim we get from the deans about the prize waiting at the end of nevermore academy. And it is frustratingly vague. Luckily, we already know the first trick they pulled with that one, so we can take that as a guide to analyse it further. This short little claim lets you read almost anything you want into it. It doesn’t specify how many students are allowed to claim the price or, even more importantly, how tose exams will be designed. By leaving out information the automatic assumption is: “Everyone who passes the exams, gets a chance at a new life.” However if these exams ever are designed to only allow a single winner, then only one person would be able to clear the win condition. Nobody would think about any of this, when presented with such an opportunity. It’s why all hell breaks loose when they finally reveal the reward will only be granted to one student. Speaking of which, their wording changes a bit in that reveal.

“…and to the one lucky student amongst you who will be born again.”

Born again is new. It implies at least to some degree a fresh start. Not simply a continuation from where you left off. But that’s another problem. We do not know a single thing about what that new life entails. The students are too caught up in the urgency of the whole situation. They are dead. The deans are offering a way to return. That is all that matters. We hear what we want to hear. I think if we were to ask every student, every one would want something different out of the new life. I doubt Pluto would like to return to how things were.

What the new life looks like is impossible to say, and it is once more designed that way. I still would like to theorise. My personal pet theory is, that you return to the world of the living as a spectre. This is why the deans push students to manifest train their powers. Students with strong spectres are shown favouritisms and exams are designed to eliminate students who haven’t manifested. If you were to return to the world of the living as a human, what good would your spectres do you?

Im conclusion, the deans use our own assumptions against us, by being deliberately vague on important subjects. At the same time, they have yet to outright lie about something. They simply don’t tell you things. To me, that means double checking everything they say. It is kind of like uttering a wish to a djinn or dealing with fae. Be really mindful of the wording and how it may be used against you.

Thanks for reading this far and please let me know if I have missed something, especially if it debunks some of my claims. I am happy to hear your thoughts :)

[glitter-stained]

Read your fic. Awesome, hurts so good. Poor Jaybird...

And this prompt had me thinking about how it could go - for a longer plotline...

Sheila would be an interesting villain to write, I think. I kinda want to write her as someone who fantasizes about being the hero but lacks the moral courage, leading to disaster.

Was figuring out her backstory. Wanted to run it by and see what you think...

Taking her backstory...the reason she left Gotham is because of a botched illegal abortion that killed the girl.

Of course, at the time the story is written, that would have helped mark her as evil - not just the patient dying part, but the abortion itself.

The thing is, when abortion is restricted, there will be those willing to illegally provide it. Some are in it for the money, some because they are willing to take the risk to give women a choice.

Now, Sheila could just have been in it for money. But from what we know, she got pregnant from her boyfriend, and as soon as giving birth or close, left the baby with him and walked out of their lives.

That sounds a lot like she didn't want to be a mother, but was pressured into carrying to term. She could be assumed to sympathise with another girl in trouble - and agree to help, even if it's illegal.

But of course, she's probably not a specialist and a backalley clinic may not have enough resources to handle a crisis... So something goes wrong with the abortion.

Maybe she can still save the girl if she called 911, got her to a better hospital. But if she does that, she will be on the hook for performing an illegal abortion. Her career will be over, she may go to jail.

If she does nothing, the girl will die, but there's nothing they can prove against her... She leaves. Quietly. Convinces herself the girl would have died anyway.

She goes with Red Cross with a confused idea of making amends. And she is doing that. She is helping people. She is doing good.

And then again things go wrong... She again has to choose between harm to her or betrayal to someone who trusted her...

I see your vision anon, and that does seem like something Sheila would do!

I support any story that distances her backstory from Starlin's "abortions are bad" take, so I love the idea of her being genuinely just a doctor trying to help her patient -and love how you tied that into Jason's birth. Also really works with what we know of Sheila, that her primary coping mechanism in the face of stress and the consequences of her own actions seems to be avoidance (esp thinking about her looking at jason getting beaten up with clear distress and then looking away and smoking)

I also love the fact this means that all three of Jason's parents would have done something illegal as a consequence of a fucked up system (heroin abuse, Willis Todd's crimes, illegal abortions) and abandoned him because of this. And for Jason's character, the way he was introduced in #408, and the way he challenges Batman's views... The themes are right there, come on.

[real-fire-emblem-takes]

I’m going to be honest about Fire Emblem Engage’s endgame: yes, it’s the weakest part of Fire Emblem Engage IMO, but the only thing I would change about it is the time traveling crystal. And even then, in hindsight it’s not as bad as people say (I still would have preferred something different).

I think people took the whole Zephia and Griss deaths at face value and fail to realize that it’s a final nail in the coffin on how the Four Hounds (coupled with Veyle’s evil self) are meant to be foils to Alear. Despite being a team longer than the Four Royals and Alear, their “family dynamic” fell apart because of their selfish desires as well as how badly they mistreated the real Veyle.

Whereas Alear’s army still choose to accept Alear even after learning the truth of their origins, the Hounds (except Mauvier) were just using Veyle to satiate their desires (Zephia getting closer to Sombron, Griss desiring pain as part of his Fell Dragon cult tradition, and Marni for wanting praise) and/or only see her as Sombron’s daughter and not her own person.

That aside, again; while I would have preferred we didn’t go back in time, in a vacuum, what the chapter was going for was actually pretty good. It’s an important step in Alear’s growth by facing themselves in battle, getting more context on why Alear fears the corrupted, etc. and heck, it actually ties back to the prologue being a dream. While back then, I only just saw it as a Alear having a vision of the future, only that it was in their image to fit their desire to become a hero (sort of like a Monado vision, but not really).

As for everything else, I just thought the Corrupted Lumera fight alone was far better than what happened with Fates Revelation, for various reasons I don’t feel comfortable talking about. But one of the main things is Lumera themselves, within the time after Alear’s origins are revealed, we got more context on Lumera’s character than I ever felt we got with Mikoto (not helped by the fact the game is split into three routes, with Revelations, where she is fought, being DLC). It was the moment where Veyle again proved why she’s my favorite character in the game, some great voice acting from all of Alear’s VAs, etc. Chapter 25 is my second favorite chapter in Fire Emblem Engage.

And as for the final chapter; while I think a lot more could have been done with the gameplay and the story of the chapter itself, I do think it was the perfect way to cap off Alear’s character and them and Veyle the fight against their evil father that they rightfully deserved. (And Nel and “Nil,” if you have the DLC, also get the closest chance they will get to getting compensation for the stuff they endured in the Fell Xenologue).

Again, I definitely wish that the Dark Emblems did have complete forms, but it also makes Sombron foil to Alear by giving Sombron, who was connected to Zero Emblem, the ability to summon the worst enemies of the other Emblems. While Alear is the 13th Emblem, only recently added to the roster, is the one leading his fellow Emblems into battle one last time, and must take up the mantle of protecting Elyos afterwards.

Again, this game is far from perfect, and I can understand why people would prefer Three Houses over this game. But still, after really thinking long and hard about this game, and Alear’s character (they are the Fire Emblem of Engage after all), I just can’t bring myself to hate this game. It’s a much better experience after looking at things from another point of view.

.

[emptymanuscript]

Absolute fave. I adored this movie growing up and still have a special place in my heart for it.

While I doubt that Disney could actually do it justice - I'm just not that impressed with Disney's current crop of writers. They're supremely capable but I don't actually see any genius at the moment - I feel like The Black Hole is actually one of the few classic movies where there might actually be a good space for a remake.

The Black Hole is a flawed piece of genius that did amazing things with the technology of the time. It's got a lot of rich and fertile story baked into an attempt to sanitize horror into a family friendly experience. It flip flops between existential nightmare and happy heroics. So it has a hard time gelling as a whole. But as difficult as it is to fit the disparate pieces together, it clearly had something to say and said it in a way that is hard to do. It took a hell of a risk to try and reap a hell of a reward. It was a missed moon shot. Glorious in its failure.

That's the sort of movie you really can improve on. It's fairly easy.

But that's exactly the problem with it for a remake as well. It would be far, far too easy to just make it 90% pretty eye candy CG, fix the glaringly obvious problems that any Disney Writer could slap together in a month with 10% effort, and then just copy paste the rest thoughtlessly. And it would suck. People would hate it. Critics would pan it. It would just be another Hollywood regurgitation because that's not taking any risks to do something with the story.

A real remake to iterate on the old one would need to take some of the same kinds of risks that the original did. In this case, I think, it would require taking the risk of offending people and ditching the family friendly atmosphere.

At its heart, The Black Hole is a horror movie about how evil and destructive the people we give respect and deference to can be. How the people we give power to can not just fail to live up to their duty but how the power can be addictive to the point that they become abusers more than leaders and betray everyone until they are true the monster. The Black Hole is the monster at the window, terrifying everyone the entire way through the movie. But the true black hole that destroys everything is the one in the villain's soul.

That's a story we need a lot right now. That glorious purpose can destroy as easily as it unites and that the glorious leader can destroy more easily than lead.

The trap there is making it a direct allegory for Trump. Which would also be whiffing the story. This is an archetypal human pain: the betrayal of the king. It's a hard story to tell well. See Game of Thrones for how easy it is to completely fumble that story arc. But that's exactly what makes it a big risk, big reward move. Tell something risky and tell it in a risky way, shoot for the moon, and hope you hit knowing there is no safety net.

Which isn't Disney's strong point.

But it could be awesome if it got put in the right hands and snuck past the execs.

The Black Hole (1979)

[weird-is-life]

rockstar!peter anything!!!

i’m imagining that they have been texting for a while and reader surprised him at another show

Hiii lovely, ty for this request! Sorry it took so long🤕🤕🤕warnings: fluff, a few swear words, reader being dizzy, mentions of drinks, concert, overcrowded venue(1.4k)

You have been texting with Peter for a few weeks now, and things have been going great.

Texting with Peter is surprisingly easy. Given that he's a goddamnn rockstar and all. It's never awkward, and it seems like you always have something, anything to tell to each other.

But you haven't had the opportunity to finally meet up for a date. And it sucks, yeah, but you aren't rushing anywhere.

You know that he's busy with the band right now. Trying to keep up with all the offers, label deals and promotions is a lot for them. And since they are blowing up almost everywhere in the world you understand that Peter's putting the band first.

Still, you are kind of bumped about it, and so is Peter. He'd gladly squeeze the date somewhere into his busy schedule if he wasn't running on coffee these last few days.

Also Peter, being a hopeless romantic, wants the date to be perfect. So you just have to survive until his schedule clears up a bit.

Well that is until your crazy friends get this one idea. They see you kinda moping about not being able to meet up with Peter again so they irrationally buy you a ticket to one of the band's concerts.

You don't want to go at first, not wanting to seem like a totally mad person or something. But they convince you to go.

So a few days later, you go. You get all pretty for it, but nothing too crazy. It's still just a concert (yeah, that's exactly what you keep telling yourself).

When you arrive there, it's fully packed. There's so many people from the front to the back of the whole venue that you know that there's no way Peter will notice you.

You stay anyways. Because at least you can finally see Peter again, even if it's just from afar.

You 'elbow' your way as much to the front as you can. You get about halfway through the whole crowd when you can't get any farther.

You wait for the concert to start, and only a few minutes in between all those people leaves you sweating, and craving some water.

You, from your last experience, don't get any drink. You don't want to have your t-shirt soaked again. But as the minutes go by, and the concert still isn't starting you get really thirsty.

You still stay where you are, not moving even an inch. You haven't just pushed your way through all those people to leave right before the concert starts.

Finally, the stage lights up, and the band comes up. Peter looks as he has the last time you saw him. Devilishly handsome with the sleeveless t-shirt, messy hair and heartthrob smile. Your knees buckle a bit.

And it gets even worse when he starts singing. You actually have to pinch your arm to know you aren't dreaming. And that Peter, Peter fucking Parker, singing on the stage, is actually unashamedly texting, and flirting with you.

You are having a pretty great time until like the 3rd song when suddenly you get so so thirsty, and dizziness sweeps over you.

Afraid that you might pass out, and get stomped to death by the crowd you quickly push your way to the side of the venue. Hoping some security guard might give you something to drink.

You make it to the side, away from the crowd. You lean against the wall there, trying to breath through the dizziness, but it doesn't really work.

You think you are close to passing out when there's one hand on your shoulder, and the other shoves a bottle of water into your hands.

You look up, and find a familiar face staring at you. It's Mike. The band's personal bodyguard. Relief washes over you.

"Let's get you some fresh air, yeah?" He states, and leads you towards the backstage door. You are sitting in a dressing room with the windows wide open in a matter of seconds.

The cold air along with the water makes the spinning of the room go away while Mike keeps a close eye on you the whole time.

After a few more minutes of making sure you really are back to feeling okay, and that you won't pass out, you stand up.

"You good?" Mike asks, looking out for any suggestions of otherwise.

"Much better. Thank you so much, Mike. I'm so sorry for all this trouble," you start to walk towards the door. Ready to go back out there.

"Trouble? Are you kidding....I'm always here for the safety reasons, you know." You laugh at his response, but his face stays serious. Always on guard, at least you know Peter and the band are safe around him at all times.

"Well, thank you anyways. I'm gonna go now....-"

"Back there to pass out? Peter would literally kill me. So not a chance. Come on, follow me."

For a split of a second, you think that he's going to send you home. But no. You get exactly where you dreamed of being the whole night. Backstage.

You get to see the whole band again, but more importantly you get to see Peter. He looks even more handsome up close. He's covered in sweat now, singing his voice away, but he looks so so happy. It's a sight for sore eyes honestly. It makes your heart beat a bit faster.

Peter doesn't notice you for the first two songs you stand there. When he finally does notice you his eyes widen impossibly.

He stammers over a few words of the lyrics, and even plays the wrong chords. Peter, being the professional that he is, recovers from his little moment just as quickly.

A happy smile replaces his shocked face immediately. And he even sends a wink your way which, of course, makes you blush.

His change of emotion is very visible. And he isn't helping it at all because he keeps looking your way. Very obviously, may I add.

He does it for the rest of the concert even if you gesture for him to look straight ahead at the crowd. That he, of course, completely ignores.

Peter couldn't be more happy about the concert being over so he can finally come to you. You've been killing him standing at the side of the stage the whole time. Especially seeing you in his t-shirt.

His fucking t-shirt!

With one last wink at you he leaves the stage. He comes barrelling for you until you are in his arms. "What are you doing here?" He chuckles happily after he lets you out of his tight embrace.

"Surprise?" You just grin at him tentatively.

"Best fucking surprise," he grins fiercely right back at you, "my heart almost stopped when I noticed you backstage. It's like you wanted me to mess me up there, sweetheart."

"I'm sorry," you smile sheepishly at him, your stomach full of butterflies from the pet name he used. "You were amazing though. I love the new song."

Peter takes your hand into his, and starts to pull you after him. "You do? Don't tell that to Theo his head would get too big if he heard you love his song."

You laugh, "where are you dragging me, Peter?" You almost stumble over your own feet, trailing after him as he walks you through many hallways.

"To my dressing room so I can get get dressed quickly, and take you out for a date," Peter responds. He says the word date so casually that you question if you have missed something.

"A date?" you ask quietly with wide eyes and small, awkward smile.

"Y-yes...I just figured since you're here that we could take this opportunity, and finally go....But we don't have to, of course, if you are not feeling up for it-"

"No, no, no, Pete. I'd love to! I just wasn't expecting it, that's all." You tell him. You squeeze his hand in reassurance along with a knee-buckling smile.

"Perfect, sweetheart. Just give me like 2 minutes, and then I'm all yours, " Peter kisses your cheek, and rushes to change out of his stage clothes. He leaves you standing there completely dumbfounded with your heart racing.

You have to take a few deep breaths to calm down. And also to prepare to be a complete lovesick mess after tonight's date with Peter.

[utilitycaster]

to me i feel like the hells were meant for a campaign more like cr2, which i feel like that's been discussed before even on your blog? like idk orym and braius were the only characters who actually fit this campaign, maybe imogen for obvious reasons. but laudna, fearne, ashton, chetney all felt like they belonged in a lower stakes, more personal campaign

Yes, I have talked about this extensively: honestly, either a Campaign 1 or Campaign 2 structure would have served them better. For what it's worth I feel like everyone other than Laudna managed to make something of it - Fearne and Chetney frankly did a lot of work to explore their concepts, it was just never rewarded or frankly in many cases revisited in any way (again, consequences do not mean punishment; they quite literally just mean that one's actions lead to results that follow from said actions), and while I ended up not caring much for Ashton as a character, I actually think Taliesin played them with a strong logical throughline. But it is true that the plot really, in the end, served none of them, not even Orym or Imogen (Braius it kind of did, but he was developed so late in the game that he was designed around its flaws). There was just never space to really explore the dark fairytale Ashley talked about early on; Tuyen and that other toymaker back in Marquet were never revisited nor was Ruidus's impact on Chetney nor was there an appearance of Doreo, and even Drixlich and the offers to the pirates vanished (side note but Travis is perhaps actual play's best plot thread generator and I think it's telling that he kind of gave up on that eventually because it never fucking went anywhere, after two campaigns where it consistently did). When it comes to Imogen I am reminded of the possibly apocryphal theater review for King Lear that went "the lead actor played the king as though he momentarily expected someone to play the ace;" she was a great concept but at no point inhabited her decisions meaningfully on the rare occasions she made them. Orym was never really given the opportunities Caleb had to explore grief and while I personally am okay with his deal with Morri being canceled, it plus the whole Vax thing really feel like a thumbing of the nose at Liam's RP choices across the decade. Ashton's temporary growth and then regression honestly feel very real, just deeply unsympathetic, though the ending of the story where nothing about the All Minds Burn or his talk with Shady Sally or the titans or the Hishari came up and the genuinely great moment of sacrifice turned into another "and then Essek fixes it for you" was narratively empty. But the more I think about it, the more this was largely a failure of Matt to tell a different kind of story with any measure of success. I think this campaign in many ways played hard to Matt, Marisha, and Laura's weaknesses in particular (and a little bit of Liam's if I'm being honest in the end) whereas the others embraced their strengths, and this is what happened; the rest of the cast kind of made the most of it.

[milashaluna]

Rin Itoshi is like your husband

🫐 Rin hates fighting more than anything else in the world. For him, any conflict in your family is tantamount to a lack of understanding, which you can only come to after many years of living together. It's actually damn hard for him to express his emotions and sometimes, there's no way to see behind the cold facade of what he's really feeling and you're hurt the most. It's better to just shut down again, to create distance between you, than to openly express your feelings. It will take time for him to learn to build a dialogue instead of running away from the problem, and for you to understand that there is something more behind his aloof appearance.

🫐 Because of his unstable self-esteem, he needs to be constantly reminded that you love and need him. Yeah, that's tough. Especially considering the fact that he'll never ask for it out loud. But, over time, you've learnt to notice the peculiar "bells" that actually just shout out how much Rin needs confirmation of your feelings. He becomes more intrusive and follows you around in a dark shadow. The privilege of the angry dog is your husband, who is two heads taller than you and scares away everyone around him because right now he needs all your attention.

🫐 Sometimes his jealousy goes over the edge, making you feel like you're trapped in a golden cage with no way to escape. In fact, he has no idea how to deal with it, and the best course of action seems to be to limit your contact with anyone who arouses suspicion, even if it ends up in another scandal. To herself, Rin calls it a black streak and if it's not stopped in time, it can indeed lead to frightening consequences.

🫐 Itoshi doesn't mind open displays of affection at all. He likes to hold your hand during a press conference or after a special successful match, to kiss you in front of all the fans. One way or another, his gaze in the crowd always seeks your eyes. It brings him calm and reassurance that everything is all right, and the stony expression on his face instantly cracks as soon as your fingers carefully remove a few strands of hair that have fallen into his face.

🫐At some point, his venomous jealousy comes out in the fact that during intimacy, Rin takes great care to leave his "marks" on the most visible parts of his skin: his neck, collarbones, wrists-all covered with his hickeys and bite marks. A silent reminder of who you belong to.

🫐 The first few years he had trouble remembering actual important dates, like your wedding anniversary or even your birthday. This caused mixed emotions. At first resentment and you cried a lot, taking his absent-mindedness personally, swearing and getting angry until you came to realise: it's just part of your husband's character. In fact, Rin's head is constantly cluttered with information, among which many things get lost. But in order not to upset you any more, Itoshi has figured out to mark his calendar on his phone, so that a fresh bouquet of flowers will be waiting for you on the anniversary of your first kiss.

Please write in the comments if you got better, and should I keep writing? I'm not English and I don't speak good English, so please don't criticise if there are mistakes in there.