#light yagami x fem!reader

[sanb3rry]

come home to me ..

( ask by @siireneyes ; kinda deleted it by accident but i remember it so i shall deliver !!! )

warnings : very fluffy, kinda ooc light (basically him pre-death note), typos maybe

summary: you’re feeling down after a day of work but your lovely boyfriend shall make you feel better ! ♡

you shuffled into your quiet apartment, the lights were off due to how late it was. you dropped your bag and keys on the couch and headed to your shared bedroom. you tried to be as quiet as you could, hoping to not wake up your boyfriend. despite your efforts, he woke up anyways.

he’s always been a light sleeper, so it’s to be expected. “why are you so late?” light asked after looking at the clock on the bedside table. “did i wake you up? sorry.” you apologized as you slowly got into the bed after changing into your pjs. he was quiet, expecting an answer for his previous question. you sighed.

“my coworker gave me his work to complete since he had to leave early.” you finally answered.

“he can’t do that, you should’ve said no.” light remarked, “i couldn’t, he’s super close to the superiors.” you snuggled into him.

light wasn’t dumb, far from it actually. this job was draining you, emotionally and physically. he put the dots together quite quickly when he noticed your under-eyes from not getting enough sleep, the fact that you two barely go to sleep together anymore and that one time he accompanied you to a work party, you looked like you were gonna cry any second while you were talking to your superiors.

he rubbed your back, hoping to make you feel better. “darling, i really think you should quit.” he said. you pulled away to look at him. there was tears welling in your eyes, his eyes widened. he didn’t like it all when you cried.

“listen, i make more than enough to support the both of us and it’ll give you time to relax and focus on stuff that makes you feel happy.” he continued. “that does sound nice, but i dont know..” you sounded reluctant.

“i’ll find you another job if you still wanna work, but this isn’t working.” he stated. light isn’t a big fan of comforting people but if it’s you, he’ll do anything to help. “this coworker of yours really pisses me off, i’ll take care of him too, i promise.” his hand wiping away the tears running down your face.

you felt so much better when you talked to him, thoughts about work or anything bothering you flood away. “thank you, light.” you were truly so grateful you had him.

“i hope you know i’m always here for you, if something is troubling you, i will do my best to solve it.” he smiled. you kissed him, how could you not? he’s always so sweet to you.

“i love you.” you said.

“i love you too. now go to sleep, we’ll talk in the morning.” he kissed you on the forehead.

© sanb3rry2023

[cutieeva]

Addicted

𝐅𝐚𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐎𝐟 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞

Female Reader

Warnings : Manipulation. Brainwashing. Sexual assault. Mention of murders. Dubious consent. Detail sex. Blackmailing. Power abuse. Toxic relationship. Cheating. Home Invasion. Stalking.

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒

❛ 死神 ❜ Meeting Light yagami was a mere coincidence yet the several meetings again and again doesn't seem to be anymore because the more (Y/N) observe the more she realize how fake he is yet she fail to be aware of his twisted desires held for her

To be cousin of Misa is difficult could be understatement because it is much more than that, it's heart-wrenching, gulit, frustration and more complex emotions are mixed because watching her sister even if cousin sister break down into (Y/N)'s arms wailing to be back to her passed away parents is heart-wrenching.

Guilt due to the helpless (Y/N) felt for hopelessly comforting her with words that are lies and even have difficulty to be happy with her alive parents in front of her as if she is taunting her sister.

Frustration on her sister's newfound obsession with the serial killer Kira who's praises of anti-hero could be sang at the same time hatred was there for taking law on their own hands. No, (Y/N) isn't saint to think what the kira is doing completely wrong rather her opinion dances between supporting their way of cleaning filth yet hating how they do as they want which was prove by killing the false detective life simply case he hurt the killer's ego. Also a newfound emotion has planted within her manifesting to grow larger and larger which is : fear. Fear for the safety of her sister's alarming love for the Kira just cause they did a good deed of killing her parent's culprit. Fear of her sister ruining her life just to meet the said killer or being taken advantage of bad people in name of Kira.

However expect her surprise when she met Yagami Light, the most intelligent boy she shared her school with came to her house with her sister introducing to be her boyfriend standing beside Misa who squealing quietly just the same way (Y/N) notice whenever Kira's name is mention.

"How odd". She was beyond confuse of how Light was able to peel her obsession with the Kira because as much as she knows he is the epitome of justice even being the son of Yagami Soichiro, the leading head policer of ongoing Kira case. "They are vastly different. How come she is romantically involved with such man despite fangirling over a serial killer ?" She remembers meeting the boy due to the unusual events of that day.

"I am bored". (Y/N) thought with a sigh, unable to hear the boring theories of the professor are uttering as her (E/C) eyes gaze over the window she was sitting near when a quite grasp left her lips seeing a black notebook written something over it fell from the blue sky. "What the ?" Unable to comprehend she decided as soon as the class ended she would surely go outside to touch the notebook for at least to check.

Bell ring indicating finished last period made her quick to be at her feet holding her small black bag and run through the hallway. "These are the advantage of not having friends". She chuckle finally drumming over the dust and in front of the very same black book she saw earlier. "Death note". She read out loud about to touch when her sight saw someone else's palm hold the mysterious notebook as she look up meeting beautiful bronze eyes belonged to Light, her classmate.

"Is that yours ?" She asked pointing her finger to the notebook.

"Oh ! Of course not. Rather I saw it from the distance while walking outside the gate and thought to pick it up and deliver to the police station". He elaborate smiling gently as she always saw him in front of his friends, professors and each person alike.

"Oh".

"Well, seeing you ask me if it's mine automatically prove it's not yours right ?" (Y/N) shook her head, smiling nervously.

"Okay, then please submit the notebook to the police station for it's rightful owner to claim. I will take my leave". Feeling awkward and having nothing more to converse she decided to leave and finding his nod as a permission she left. Unaware he stayed until her figure disappeared.

"(L/N) ? Right ?" Light's voice ripped her from the clouded thoughts to find the boy sitting in front her, on the desk chair Misa uses.

"Uh, yes". (Y/N) nod, straighting her wrinkled clothes to appear at least presentable when seconds ago she was in mist of drawing a art that occupied her mind when the door burst open revealing cheerful Misa with her least expected classmate.

"Is her aunt your mother ? Judging from the different surnames". He asked further taking a look at her from head to toe discreetly as she sat on her bed.

"Yup ! She looks nothing like the lovesick girl". Ryuk pointed out Light's thoughts.

"Yes. My father is foreigner from (C/N) while mother is Japanese so you could say I am half Japanese". She smiled, still having doubts of their relationship. "So, could you say how you two met ? You know, love story ?" Misa laughed sitting beside her and linking their arms together.

"Well, it was love at fight sight for me". The blond girl shamelessly unraveled looking at her love, her savior, her lover ignoring the fact their relationship is an play. "I was in awe how a man could be both handsome and intelligent so I persistently tailed behind him until he couldn't deny me". Lies spewed her lips so smoothly (Y/N) belived while Light holding the urge to roll his eyes knowing they rehearsal the script beforehand.

"And when we were in relationship he slowly fell for me and I fell more". (Y/N) doubts were beginning to waver and smile soften spotting her cousin's eyes adoring cupid heart and her lips coated with sweet nothings.

"She loves him". Hearing each and every word from her lips speaking proved that, failing to noticing her single moves are observed and calculated by a certain brown head boy. Light from his correct understanding has known the classmate he clearly recall from their first meeting from finding the death note and discovering she is her cousin who has soft spot for Misa could be useful in upcoming events just like the another foolish shinigami, Rem but hopefully she doesn't become a thorn in his way otherwise he must pitifully execute her like the rest.

"Misa, can you bring some snacks from downstairs ? I am hungry". Light narrowed his eyes at the sudden request. "Also Yagami-san, would you like to have some too ?" He nod smiling a little.

"Okay ! Wait for me and oneesan do not try to talk behind my back ! Do you understand". The girl warned walking away giving her a playful glare earning a chuckle from (Y/N) that made Light stare at her.

"She look nothing like Misa nor is her behavior". Light had heard her name from Misa before meeting today yet fault due to not paying attention he couldn't recall her until he came inside the room meeting an familiar face from their few days intractions washing away all the expectation he had of how more irritating her sister could be. "She is gullible enough". He thought.

"So, Yagami-san, do you love her ?" The question was expected since he had re-think multiple questions to begin with. Smiling the perfect facade he replied in beat "Of course".

"And what is the points you like about her ?" (Y/N) watched his perfect facade carefully where he crafted to smile nervously and fidgets his fingers when in reality he is getting annoyed by her piling questions. She is annoying.

"I, like her everything. From her way of dressing to the way she cheerfully talks to her way of handling people and most importantly the fact she is so brave even after her parents has left the world. She is still hanging strongly as ever". The girl's smile dimmed at the mention of her dearest relatives death yet she paid attention to the sincerity unaware of the fact he made just for her to see.

"So, she shared her parent's death with you ?"

"Yes". No. It was the first reason she is attached to his hip. A nuisance death what he thinks.

"If she shared such vital topic that must mean she trust you enough". (Y/N) sigh, looking at his eyes. "Then you must also know her obsession with Kira ?" His muscles tense but he kept the act of nodding.

"Indeed. It was in the first weeks of our relationship I got to know her unhealthy obsession with the serial killer". A bitter taste left by the negative word he used at last.

"What do you think about Kira ?" Now, he won't lie about this question coming expected but that doesn't mean he can't speak the right words in set. The words she might want to hear.

"I will be honest with you". His serious bronze eyes stare at her. "My own moral compass is little bend. Still that doesn't mean what they does is correct instead they only acts upon what they deems is correct and that thinking itself is terrifying and must be put stop to it". Hearing such words from a boy who's son of a national police agency and multiple times announced to the teachers of his dream of becoming one along observed his visible hatred towards criminals should have felt right but why does it feel so wrong ? Her raw human instinct is settling anything but safe and good. All the words sounds distant and wrong.

"Yagami-san, please tell me your real opinion not the one you would tell to hide your real ones". Breaking the silence she didn't know was there flicker her eyes deeply into his. He merely look down and back up with a soft chuckle disregarding Ryuk's raspy laugh.

"Smart girl". He jollily commented already being entertained.

"I guess I was caught". His eyes lifted with his lips. "Okay, I do support Kira's actions of killing criminals but I do not support their killings against innocent civilians because I think the innocents do not deserve such way of death to heaven". Light appeared to be shameful of his way of thinking when in contrast his fingers were itching to write her name on the death note and erase her existence from the earth. She is getting inside his skin. The second person to thoroughly caught his lies aside from the mysterious detective L.

(Y/N) eyes dart at the door hearing the upcoming footsteps of her sister to her classmate. "I understand". She did. Understood her intitution was right about the white lie he spoke moments earlier.

"But could you also share your opinion". Light oddly enough desire to know her thoughts for the sake of knowing her better. Or so he claim.

"Umm...nothing simply than the fact I have observed the person has fragile ego proven the moment he killed the fake detective just cause he was provoked such an impulsive decision". The brown head boy's eyes twitch at that sentences.

"That was good". Ryuk full on indulging the second person who doesn't fall for his facade easily and insult so bluntly at the same time could be the fast reason of her own demise he pitefully felt bad.

"Also I notice how the name Kira means killer at the same time shining in Japanese if I am correct then it must mean if the killer themselves liked to called killer in more fashionable way that proves they are aware they are nothing more than a killer but judging from the past killing of both the fake detective and police officers it seems the killer has forgetting it's identity and wants to be some sort of justice hero". She finished titling his head.

"I like her". The god of death openly admit his favoritism wanting more to see what becomes of her in the near future. Hopefully she survives after this situation for his want of fun. However Light doesn't share the mutual feeling. His lips part to say when Misa barged in holding plate of delicates and snacks.

"Have bites". Little to no noises were made placing the plate on top of the little table.

"Thank you". (Y/N) took one bite into the cookies before diving into what he was suppose to say if Misa didn't came so abruptly little did she know the blonde girl was standing behind the door since the topic came what he likes about her by successfully fluttering her heart and leak hundred butterflies inside her stomach.

For Light after eating and talking some meaningless strings of sentences he care not to remember only seeing red by the moment those words this bitch utter immediately put an natural end to their meeting, waves their hands goodbye, somehow got rid of the another bitch, Misa. He so restelessly want to strangle her neck to the point he could see life fade from her eyes, pale body fall limp for eternal. Once he got home excusing himself with a strained smile and fake soften eyes to his mother and sister.

In no seconds the death notebook was laid open and a pen fist between his fingers tightly about to write her name that no one would stop him expect "I have observed the person has fragile ego proven the moment he killed the fake detective just cause he was provoked such an impulsive decision". It flashes across his eyes itself pausing his movements.

"Ha !" He mockly laughed. Laughed more and more and more and more that it scared the shinigami watching how wicked the laugh turned to his eyes pure evil red. "If she thinks of death was an implusive choice I made then how about I taste her hell ?" He smirk planning to get closer to know about her in order to completely destroy her.

The following day of her colliding with Light Yagami at the school gate to return home was again awkward but this time for the reasons he was romantically involved with her cousin, she still has suspicious about due to all her gut feeling screaming the boy dangrous. A danger.

"Would you like to walk home together ?" He suggested wearing his usual charming smile.

"So direct ?" The god of death snicker.

"Okay". Well, no excuse she has to decline his kind offer other than the fact her house is at different direction from his. Soon she find herself walking with the least expected boy she often seen and came face to face once in a while. The walk itself was silent surrounded by comfortable noises like their walking foosteps, few cars driving, birds chirping on their nest over the tree.

"Why did you invite me for a walk ? We aren't so close enough yet". Her quite voice break the train of thoughts of Light who for the first time after getting hands on the death note has been in peace.

"To get to know you better". (Y/N) was taken aback, flicker to his eyes to find them already intensity watching her. She flinched. He noticed.

"Oh". Quickly her gaze turned away only to fall on top of a cute cafe she has been eyeing for a long time which Light has notice too.

"Want to go inside ?" She glance to check his expression where he smiles and she nods going inside together. Few people were seated and she chose the closest seat to the window. He sat opposite of her. "This cafe is nice". He compliment watching her nod carelessly and look around the cafe. "Seem to be the first time of her".

"Welcome to Cutieeva Cafe, here is the menu for you to order and please press the bell to call an waitress or waiter". A woman wearing her black mix white cloth elaborate smiling ear to ear and place two menu on their table.

"Thank you". (Y/N) thanked her taking one between the two menu to check what she would be ordering to end up with Katsu sandwitch, manju and iced matcha latte while Light ordered egg salad sandwich and iced coffee with milk.

They waited in the same silence boring the god of death.

"Didn't you said you would talk to her ? If you don't talk then how would you know her weakness ?" Ryuk crossed his legs and sat floating in the air with hand under his cheek knowing how the male human ignored him.

"I will charge apples for this boredom". Light tune out the whining of the supernatural creature focusing on the girl in front of him who never ready to met his gaze if not necessary he even remembers being baffled in their first encounter how she run away unlike others he has came across his life to be talking to him in any possible way or reason. The food plate were served and the moment his requested food entered his mouth did he felt the disgust raising. "It's a trash". However he didn't let the negativity express over his face, glancing over to (Y/N) who ate just fine. To ease the disfavour he drank his drink "They didn't add milk and it's bitter". His lips threat to twitch.

"You shouldn't force to eat something you dislike". Light froze. His mind for a second was blank and non-calculative words blurt out.

"What do you mean ?" He stare into those (E/C) he found yesterday night in his dreams.

"The way you only bite some of your food and immediately turned to drink then look at your food makes me think you might not like your order. Maybe I am wrong but I simply want you to know that you shouldn't force yourself to like something for the sake of others". If before he wasn't intrigued then he certainly is now.

"And what would happen if I force myself ?" The words escape eager then he wanted. Looking forward to her next sentence, looking towards to her next expression, to their next eyes met.

"If you do, it will only hurt your own self that might later be forgetton if you are so used to the mask". (Y/N) utter not confident anymore feeling her unspoken secrets exposed by the words she speak from her personal experience. Feeling his burning gaze yet stick to looking at her meal.

"Sounds like an personal experience to me". Click ! His brozon eyes gleefully when she looked at him. At his eyes. Only at him.

"Ah ! What a interesting turns of events". Ryuk observed each little things. Feeling tension built just like his entertainment settling.

"Because it indeed is". (Y/N) look away turning his gleeful to a frown. The first slip up of his expression he is happy to be not caught.

"Could you share with me ? Because sometimes sharing helps to ease the burden". His eyes soften along his voice quiter. After all he would hate to let others know about something that meant only for his ears to heard or else too bad he has know each their names and wipe their existence with the power he have as an new god of the world.

"I—" (Y/N) suck breath. "I think I— will take my leave now". Quickly without checking at the other she took her bag, place her order of payment and left hurried failing to notice his hand in air with the intent to grip her wrist and stood up from his seat watching her back becoming smaller and smaller and smaller. All her mind had filled with her dull past of her friends smiling in front of her but sneering and spatting lies behind her back, preventing others students of befriending her, isolating her before comforting her with web of deceit how others are cruel and mockingly laughing at her face when in dispair she learnt the truth. Even stealing her right of cutting her ties with them instead the trio announced of leaving such a pathetic person as (Y/N) herself when she asked the reason behind such cruelty were offered because "It was fun". A measly toy she was to them when to her they were her friends, her non-blood family.

It left a scare to never able to look at other people with the same pure faith she had on people. Refusing to believe be rewarded by good people and doubting each mutters coming out of their tongues. Paying more attention of their behavior after all what the bitterness of betrayal is given by an alley not an enemy that's the first reason she notice Light's off putting behaviors.

Meanwhile Light was left clenching his jaw and fury rush in his head to whisk away all the plates from the table, lash out his boiling anger. How could she left him ? All alone and not even sharing her past when she talks as if she knows him.

"Someone's angry". Ryuk stood up on his feet, lacing his arms behind his head in an laid-back position in contrast of the human's emotions piling. The death note user held back to glare at the hideous creature he deems and walk to the counter paying both of their order and taking her money on his palm. Touching the corners that her fingers have touched. He gently smiled walking out of the horrible choice of cafe to his house letting his head cool by the breeze kissing his face away and eyes on guard for any followers. This realization made his eyes slightly wide at how dangerous loosen his guard was staying with (Y/N) not care of the world, his world, his concerns.

His sole focus on her locked world he seem to unable to step inside unlike countless others he has done. Within seconds to days his result was the same. Victory but with her he tasted not only failure yet desire too. The desire to be seen, to be known. As much as he despite of someone knowing his true self to exploit or use for their own gain like Misa or expose him as Kisa like the annoying detective L. She is different, she wants to know him, she seen right though him, his unspoken flaws to perfections without a hint of scorch. She sees him for who he is and tell him to embrace it even if it means risking her life by sharing her nagative thoughts. Giggy feeling spread like vines over his body, dipping into his flesh to find it's way to his heart. Just imagining how she would react of him being the Kira, her cousin is obsessed with and the real reason she is with him already makes him yearn for her. Want to see her, see how more these measly feelings could grow ? But if it becomes a obstacle then he must cut the root of it all. Nothing would stop him from becoming the god.

Then how ? How come every single day from the day on he set up accidentally meetings with (Y/N), making time to be with her rather than his usual duty of writing criminal names on his death note to create a better place, be with her than Kira most of the time even going as far as to disguise Misa as a way of entering an certain (H/C)'s head girl house little by little. He simply can't seem to stop this twisted pleasure of inserting himself on the picture life beside (Y/N) without any filth or that bitch inside.

The longer he spends time, the longer those feelings distinct where the god of death teases him when the girl of his wet dreams arrive and she is getting clever with her excuses better than the precious one but how adorable ? When the one being lied is the master of lies himself. He has impressively maintaining the almost perfect double life as a student and the infamous Kira that lies from small to big holds no surprise to him anymore. So, albeit knowing her little amusing lies his patient, one of his strong suit has been helping the thread from being cut off however he is growing impatient. Astonishing him and proving his desire for her was greatly underestimated and that strong suit of his apparently doesn't work related to (Y/N) who is passing day, week is scared for her life.

She might be little oblivious— but not blind to his increasingly uncomfortable advances towards her about inviting her to his home when his parents are out, touching her at every chance he gets, leaning closer than a boy having girlfriend should be, whispering into her ear, creating one-sided plan without Misa, tried holding her hands—claiming it's for her safety from strange men attacking her. Ironic ? when he himself is no better than the 'strange men' he described. Perhaps more dangerous he was because the dreadful day arrived. The day where their pretense of nothing happening is ruined. The say where his patient put to an end along his desire begin to woven the fate of their to seal together. Branding (Y/N) his.

"Good thing I ran out of the class when he was called out by the teacher". She sighed of relief finding no sight of an certain brown head behind her. For some strange reasons the deity might want to punish her or else why the accidental meetings with him keep occurring ? Or "This is a set up ?" No, what would he want from her ? Surely he isn't thinking of cheating on Misa— no. (Y/N) shook her head from digging into the topic far too liking from her.

Ultimately without any difficulties she calmly reached her house, stretching her arms and walking upstairs to her room when her eyes went to Misa's room and memories of her moving to their house after her parents death flooded to how late at night whimpering, wailing could be came from her room and (Y/N) helplessly call her parents to help Misa. Only if her parents weren't killed, if only her cousin lived happily, only if Kira didn't exist, only if she didn't developed unhealthy obsession then perhaps Light wouldn't be able to came into her sister life and have the chance to cheat on her. "No, no. I am again imagining things. He wouldn't cheat on her".

Quickly her toes step upwards to her roon and her fingers touch the cold doorknob only to twist and open it with a creaking noise and the straps of her bag fell with a thud on the ground while her eyes remained on the ground. "I need a shower". She closed the door behind her and about to head her attached bathroom when her (E/C) eyes met his rather red alike ruby eyes fondly.

Light sat on her bed flipping her art pages. "W-what ? A-are you doing ?" He silently spin a key around his finger. Not any key but a key to their house.

"Gifted by Misa". His gently voice revealed however the girl oppose of him felt her head spinning, rounding around her head, heart pumping in fear.

Fear.

Terror.

Disgust.

All the negative emotions she ever felt was surfacing over her face Light could see, he was like an magician reading her thoughts, her emotions, her fears and he would surely use them. Make them his weapon.

"This is disgusting". (Y/N) with a sneer about to run out—

"Do you not fear for Misa's life ?" Her all actions stop in air. Breathing escalated, hard to inhale, hard to feel, hard to express.

"What do you mean ?" She turn to face the man she thought could be trustworthy for Misa. "What do you mean ?" She yelled louder for him to reply her yet all he offered was a wordless smile. A smile nothing alike an polite gentleman instead a victory smile, a smile only those offer when they know all the power of the pawns on a chessboard are on their palms and she was a pawn destined be to at his control. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN ?" She cried, run towards him and yunk his white collar.

"She is your lover ! How could you threat her life ?" How could he ? How dare he ? How heartless he has to be not caring about others ? Especially of his loved ones, the ones who would do anything for him, sacrifice for him, fight for him, be with him. Tears well in her eyes merely imagining Misa's perished body in front of her.

"If you dare to touch my family I will kill you". (Y/N) threaten, fisting onto his thin cloth. A family is what Misa is to her. A sister. A cousin she will do any limits of protect. Even if it means killing hi—

"Even if it means sacrificing yourself ?"

"What ?" Her eyes narrowed.

"I never liked her let alone romantically viewed her. She is nothing but a nuisance, a thone, a mistake, a pest in my life. I never wanted her. She did and forced me". (Y/N) refuse to believe the words coming out of his filthy lips. "The one I want is you. I desire you". He breathless confessed his hidden want. Leaning over her face while her grip on his collar crumble, she lean away astonished.

"No. You don't". She step back gazing at his yearning eyes, cleared bronze eyes held reflection of her, just like his mind filled with her, his heart filled with her. His larger hand grip her wrist from stepping away any further than she already was in the past days. Another hand circle around her waist pulling closer.

"Don't leave me. You must be mine. You should be mine". He mutter leaning his head to her heart, ear pressed to the racing heart, pulses of her veins and his right hand intertwined with hers like their lives were now. "You are the only one who truly understood me. Seen me how I am. Never forced me. Criticized me, always bluntly told my flaws to my perfections. You are someone to be my queen. To be mine entirely and eternally". He closed his eyes pressing against her chest— to her heart racing because of him. Her breathing halted because of him. Her pulse rushing because of him. Everything she feels because of him. He is equally in her roots just like she was in his.

(Y/N) slowly looked at him to find his eye lids opening and all she found was madness, chaos, desire and her reflection. From the moment they met her intitution already announced him danger, bad news and fake. But she brush it off, ignoring the voices within her mind pointing how intensely he looked at her. How he behaved with her but she pretend to be unaware, run away from the reality that something was off with him all for the sake of her sister's happiness attached to this man yet it lead nothing else than her own downhill.

Before she realize the danger surrounded her, it was too late. She was caged. In his palm as a pawn of desires and caged in his arms. "Be with me and Misa will be alright. Be my queen and no harm with be done. My love, you don't know what can I do to disappear a person". Her knees gave up only for Light to hold her. "Do not worry. I am here. Give yourself to me and everything will be alright".

With a thud her back touch her once safety of a bed along the destroyer of her life, the killer of her soul, the ruiner of her body above her. His intelligent gaze replaced with full of lust. Adulation adoration "What would you do if I don't obey you ?"

"Kill Misa and I promise I will get away with it". Light honestly revealed, he has already plan to get rid of the good for nothing god of death, Rem with Misa. The only reason she wasn't dead to his inconvenience of the Rem but to own (Y/N) he will make it possible and crowned her his queen.

School white shirt disregarded baring her upper skin and her breast under the bra. Hungry eyes drank at the sun ray's kissed (S/C) skin. A divine present she is to him. The perfect love of his life. Insteadly he pressed his lips to hers earning a groan from himself due to how good it felt. Her lips were smooth, soft featherly and creamy like the pastries he likes. His tongue invade hers, tasting her tongue, twisting them together and sucking her, taking all her sweetness to himself, blending their saliva together and moving in rhythm of their love song ignoring how she remained unwavered.

When air became a need, a way to breath he decided to separate his lips from her leaving a lace of sliver saliva thread onto their lips— an evidence of his passionate kiss. He smirk finding her (S/C) cheeks decorated with crimson hue, lips gleaming his saliva and tears build on those hatred eyes.

Light insteadly latch Into her skin, curious if her body taste as sweet her lips does and he wasn't disappointed sucking her chin, neck, collarbone banding her his with the butterflies kisses and purple hickeys. However only whimpers, choked tears were tuning his ears unlike the music of moans he was awaiting. How could she ? Contrast to he was in heaven, the hell was brought for her on earth. Torturing her with those burning hands, soul-sucking kisses and purple scars on her body. The ruiner of her ripped the bra she used as an shield presenting her vulnerable and helpless.

Her breath hitched and eyes shut feeling wet lips coating her buds and he indulge his fantasy of his sleepless night come true even better beyond his tricks of imagination. He lovely bite and circle the buds with his tongue to earn any sweet noise from (Y/N)'s pretty lips. Showering devotion to their love making. "She is so perfect". Her head to toe was a goddess in a human's body. All of her flaws and hatred he viewed in her turned into rose tinted glass. Quickly those purple and blue bruises painted over her breast and his other hand kneading her breast as he continue to mark her down and down until his eyes sparkle with excitement and hers with terror.

He slowly dragged her cloth all together letting harsh breeze touch her second most private part which he delightfully touched. "So delicious it looks. All for me to have". Blood painfully rush to his own private part palming her small sex and lean his mouth inside the flesh. Finally the held tears of her roll down, crying at her cruel deity. At the cruel fate written for her. "Please help. Somebody, anybody help". How sad. Pitifully she quiver under Light who was enjoying the taste of her, the liquid she made from, created into.

"I can't". Crazed blood rush into his mind that he no longer take his slow time to worship his queen within a blink of an eye his own lower pants gone and without preparation, without protection he slammed his cock into her virgin flesh filling himself tight around her walls. "How sweet. All your first is me and I will make sure your last is me too". He bite his lips, gripping her naked thighs hard that she felt her bones would break.

"But my soul is broken". She screamed her pain of being raped. Agony of taking his part into her pussy so suddenly and forcefully. It hurts. It hurts more when he moved inside her, thrust again and again. Brim of bile threat to pour out of her throat as he continue to pleasure himself using her body— no a body belongs to him.

"So good, love. You are the sweetest. The most divine queen you will be". He chuckle thrusting faster. In mind to impregnate her. Yes, he will make sure to lock the shackle around her ankle well and the lock will be their sweet child which she soon realize when his hips slowed and strings of white liquid was released inside her womb.

"No. No. No. No. No. No". (Y/N) screamed at his face, red from anger. "I will kill this child if it grew". But all he did was lean and kiss her lips.

"Then I will kill Misa, your family and each person you come to care one by one". He shuss her by kissing her adorable protest only he can heard and see not even that Ryuk who is not here from the beginning busy devouring his addicted apples.

Just like he is slave to his (Y/N) "I am—". He kiss her. "Addicted".

FIN

[glimpseofloveandlife]

Sub!Light × Mean Dom Fem! Reader = Sex tape, Pet play, Riding, Over stimulation, [ Y/N is a double agent for both L and Yagami ], Pleasure Crying, Bondage, Degrading Praise, and Pegging, and Cum Lickinv

Tags: 😌🤞, 🥴💫, 🫣❤️‍🔥

Inspired by my best friend's DR where she somehow ended up having in love triangle with light and L

Don't mind how messy this is its like 3 am and I'm tired lol

" That's my pretty baby.." She purred sitting back in a leather chair as her favorite bitch whined into the bone gag he had in his mouth. His hips grinding on the thick and almost shamefully long strap that sat inside him. A camera in her hand recording as she watched him began to bounce up and down on her strap shuddering ever single time he went back down. She had been wanting to this for awhile now and while at first he was shy and abit tense about the idea of having sex tapes of them when he went off on a trip with his university for a week that didn't allow visitation he very quickly agreed to it when he came home.

He shifted a broken cry coming from him as flexed against the leash that had his arms and hands tied tight together as he finally found that sweet spot inside him. Yet she wasn't satisfied with the sound. She firmly tapped his thigh twice, a signal to stop before getting him up and putting him on his back in the chair his legs on her shoulders. " You are such a fuckin mutt yknow that? " She sighed as she stuffed herself inside him making him yelp as she began thrusting a firm grip on his leg to keep him from running.

" Just a lazy ass mutt that can't help but get hard off of gettin fucked on camera. " She smirked watching as those tears of pure pleasure and droll collect around the gag began to appear. His cock hard and pratically oozing precum as she made sure the camera was on that tear stained face of his. " There's no fuckin way this fuckin slut here is Kira. " She thought to herself as she flipped him on stomach.

" Look at this face yall. You can't tell me he wasn't meant to be a girl's cocksleeve. " She laughed one hand cupping his face as the other kept his head up by his hair. The camera looking down at his rolled back eyes and tears rolling down his face. Droll dripping down his chin and whimpers coming from him as he tried to keep eye contact with those pretty eyes despite how bleary his vison was from the tears.

" Does it feel good mutt? " She asked slyly hitting on that sweet spot that made him pratically melt under her. His once insistent yet soft whimpered out whines turning into muffled loud moans and sobbing hics as she pounded him with a smirk making sure she got the perfect view of her strap disappearing into him. He let out a harsh whimper as his body tensed his cock shooting out dribble of cum yet she kept going despite it.

By the time she was finally satisfied light was shaking and twitching the floor. The front and seat of the chair covered in cum. She firmly grabbed him by his hair earning a whine of for mercy out of his hoarsed throat. She put him on his knees in front of the chair as she took the gag off of him before saying in a calm yet obviously sly tone. " Go ahead mutt. Clean up your mess. " She grinned the camera still recording as she watched him obediently lick up the spots of cum until there was none left. He sighed contently pratically purring as she cuppes his face in one of her hands looking down at him as she stroked his cheek with gentle and calmingstrokes.

" That's my good boy. "

[yujis-world-jjk]

Guys please someone help me find this fic 😭🙏🙏🙏 it's light/kira x reader smut and reader almost outs him as Kira and slips up, so light sorta punishes reader and L watches on the security cams trying to figure out what reader meant when she almost slipped up

[exorciqsm-0]

Express your love my love >ᵥ_ᵥ<

Light Yagami x Black fem reader

(I was thinking how I use to hate Light but the I realized all the guys I’ve had a crush on are exactly like him…)

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Academic student! Light Yagami who since he was a little boy, only cared about his grades.

Academic student! Light Yagami who, even in his senior year of high school, never held a girls hand.

Academic student! Light Yagami who does have a lot of girls that want him and yet he pays them no mind.

Academic student! Light Yagami who met you when a you got paired together for a project.

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“Nexted, let’s do…” your teacher scans the class, trying to figure out who doesn’t have a partner. “Light and (y/n).” Light scans the room for a “(y/n)”. He’s pretty self centred, forgetting peoples names after 3 seconds off knowing them.

Finally he finds you, looking at the work sheet your teacher previously handed out. Light wasn’t going to lie to himself. You are one of the most beautiful girls he set his eyes on but his main focus is his grades.

Once your teacher said begin, Light walked towards your desk with some of his notes in his hand. He takes an empty chair and pulls it to the opposite side of your desk. “Hi” A warm smile forms on his face. “Hey. Um let’s get started.” ‘Very straight to the point.’ Light thought as you pulled out both a blank piece of paper and the rubric.

“So what topic do you want to do?” You asked, placing the pieces of paper on the desk. “I think we should do this one.” Light points to the topic section on the rubric. “since it’s seems simple, but when you look more into it, it’s more complex than what most people think.” He continues. “Yeah I agree but…” Light rises an eyebrow. “Don’t you think that there are limited things we can write for it?” You question.

Light is confused. Because he’s so smart, no one really question his better judgment, especially when it comes to projects. “Well what do you think we should do?” He asks “Well..” you look at the paper. “We should do it on the death penalty. Reason being, there is so much we can do for examples. We could reference crimes that didn’t deserve to have the penalty. We could reference ancient be headings. We can also contrast and compare certain ones and use out better judgment to determine if they were deserved or not.” You continue.

“Hey..” He’s impressed. “I really like that idea. Yeah let’s do that.” He smiled. A slight blushie smile appeared on your face. You were kind of rambling yet he was still really engaged. Usually people just tune out what your saying.

Academic student! Light Yagami who became more fond of you during and after the project done.

Academic student! Light Yagami who would help you with your work, if you help him with his.

Academic student! Light Yagami who started to come home later because you two would spend the weekends studying together.

Academic student! Light Yagami who suggests that after you’re done studying for the day, the two of you watch a movie before he leaves.

Academic student! Light Yagami who gets all red when you move closer to him.

Academic student! Light Yagami who when you fell asleep on him, stoped watching the movie to watch you. He admired every single one of your features. From the braids that he pushed out the way to see your face. To your lips that he stared at, imagining they were kissing all over him.

Academic student! Light Yagami who immediately stoped himself from thinking these thoughts but he couldn’t help it.

Academic student! Light Yagami who finally realizes and accepts the fact that he’s in love with you<3

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A/n𐙚🧸ྀི: sorry this took so long (˘•‿•) I had exams lol. Also I think I will start doing death note fics

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[cat3ch1sm]

Heyyy🙏🏼 I’ve been checking out your account lately and I’m OBSESSED 🙏🏼🙏🏼 Please do some more nsfw Light hcs, thanks boo✊

📜~ im glad you requested this because i have NOT been writing nearly enough for death note lately 😔😔 here’s your request, anon! ily<33

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ nsfw ahead, fem!reader

𝐚-𝐟 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐬𝐟𝐰 𝐚𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭- 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐲𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐢

a/n: i might do the other letters of the nsfw alphabet with the other death note characters i write for just to have some more death note content up!

A- aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

i can’t see light being overly tender and sensitive after sex, but he does think it’s common courtesy to just make sure you’re feeling alright and that you’re not sore or anything. he’ll offer you water or something small to eat if he notices that you’re exhausted or anything. he might let you fall asleep beside him if he’s really worn you out, but light will probably get up and leave while you’re asleep. he just isn’t the super affectionate type.

B- body part (what their favorite body part of their partner is)

light’s favorite body part of yours is the neck. he notices that whenever he kisses it or wraps his hand around it that it’s effective in turning you on. the tiny gasps and whimpers you make when he sucks on it and leaves love bites are some of his favorite things about you during sex. he’s also big on domination, so he chokes you a lot so he can do what he pleases with you.

c- cum (anything to do with c*m lol)

when light comes, it’s not usually very messy, but his face does get a little flushed and he does tremble a little. light also enjoys licking your hole clean after you come and kissing you afterwards to let you taste yourself on his lips. it does something for him when he sees how flustered you get.

D- dirty secret

light loves to overstimulate you. he’ll also go as far to tie you up or something like that so you can’t squirm as much when he does. his favorite thing to do with you is tie you to the bed and then relentlessly eat you out until you’re in tears, legs shaking and hole leaking and begging him to stop because you can’t come anymore. he does comfort you afterward though(adding on to the aftercare section, light will be a little more affectionate with you if he’s overstimulated you a lot).

E- experience (how experienced are they, how much do they know)

as confirmed by ryuk, light’s good with his fingers, so that department is pretty self-explanatory. as for sex, i think it’s just something he’s naturally good at. however, i do think he’s fairly experienced, but usually just for his own personal gain. light typically doesn’t sleep with people unless he has something to gain.

F- favorite position

light’s go-to position is CAT (modified coital alignment technique. look it up idk). wont catch this man dead doing shit like doggy style or whatever because he thinks it’s too animalistic. this position is simple and gets the job done for the most part.

[gelus-ugs]

Know You~ Light Yagami x Fem! Reader

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[F/n] = Fake name

This is kinda a weird short story?? Idk where I was going with this

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[F/n], the youngest member of The Task Force - arguably the most bland as well. The female seemed to have no personality whatsoever; only speaking when being spoken to, always seen working, and never interacting with anyone outside of work.

Light Yagami, just a mere two months ahead of [F/n] age-wise, stared at the female. She held an emotionless expression as she stared at her computer screen, occasionally clicking on the mouse pad and moving her finger around.

Light had been dismissed from work a bit ago, but he stayed regardless - waiting for [F/n] to finish her work as well. [F/n] continued her work for another thirty minutes before she suddenly closed her laptop, the female standing up and beginning to pack her things.

Light began to follow pursuit, wasting no time following the female outside the building.

“[F/n]!”

She stopped, giving Light enough time to catch up to her.

“[Y/n]”

Light let out a hum of confusion, watching as [F/n] turned around and smiled at him.

“Call me [Y/n] outside of work.”

The female’s smile and friendly demeanor caught Light completely off guard. He had only seen her at work, closed off and unbothered. Seeing her so friendly and approachable was unfitting to the image Light had created for her in his head.

“Was there something you needed, Light?”

[Y/n] questioned with an innocent tilt of her head. It was that moment Light remembered why he had even bothered to follow after the female in the first place - to get to know her. The male cleared his throat,

“Yes. I was wondering if you wanted to grab some coffee-”

“No thanks”

[Y/n] was quick to decline Light’s offer, catching him completely off guard.

“Well, if that’s all you needed, then I best be going. See you tomorrow, Light”

Turning on her heel, [Y/n] walked away, leaving the brunette dumbfounded. Ryuk began to cackle, watching as [Y/n] disappeared from view. Light stared at the retreating female, who gained his interest even more.

[Y/n], I will know you

[priyalively]

Hey guys! I've made a death note fanfiction (Love's Deathly Note) on wattpad, and chapter one has been posted! Would appreciate it getting love and support!! https://www.wattpad.com/user/priya_lively OR search up my username: priya_lively on wattpad. you'll see my fanfic there :) eid mubarak to those who are celebrating!! love yall <3

[dollfacefantasy]

SINCE YOU'VE BEEN LIKE THIS ♡

pairing: light yagami x fem!reader x l lawliet

summary: you and light have been a pair for as long as you can remember, but lately he's been pulling away. in your time of uncertainty, you end up getting close to l, maybe a little too close. now light's back to normal though, and you're left to figure out how you want to fix the mess you've made.

cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, double penetration, fingering, handjob, threesome, voyeurism/exhibitionism, praise/degradation, infidelity, messy behavior in general, light angst here and there

wc: 19.6k

a/n: finally it is here <3 sorry for the delay, it has been a rough couple weeks. reblogs, comments, and asks are always appreciated <3 also i just have to put out there that my main in mario kart is waluigi till the day i perish 🙏

kinktober slot: day 27 - double penetration

"Light, can you slow down a little? Or at least tell me where we're going?" you called out to your boyfriend walking three paces ahead of you. Three paces he seemed hellbent on keeping between you and him.

He didn't answer your plea. Didn't even spare you a glance. On the contrary, you were pretty sure he sped up ever so slightly.

With a petulant huff, you tried to follow him along the crowded street as best you could. It was just difficult when you didn't really know why you were here or what you were supposed to be looking for. He never kept you well-informed when it came to his plans. Most of the time, you were shocked he even let you tag along at all.

His eyes constantly darted around between groups of people lining the path in the most subtle way. His head didn't move at all, but his pupils bounced around in every direction. Yours remained on his figure. At first, you'd tried glancing around too, but you couldn't figure out for the life of you who or what he was trying to find. You decided to just focus on not getting lost instead.

Bounding up closer to him, your fingers brushed his own. His hands had always been so smooth and soft. No calluses, no blemishes. No mileage at all. You went to intertwine your fingers together. That was when he finally acknowledged you.

He pulled his hand away.

You frowned, choosing to believe it was accidental. That your boyfriend wouldn't reject you so purposefully. You tried again with more intention, clasping with your whole palm rather than hooking pinkies.

His response matched your increased effort. He bent his arm at the elbow and pulled his hand out of your reach, fully removing the opportunity for physical contact. Then, he scowled at you, and his lips curled into that sneer you were becoming more familiar with these days.

"What are you doing? We're here to work," he said, talking to you the same way he talks to anyone else who inconveniences him, "This isn't a date. Try to focus."

"Light, I-" you went to defend yourself. But he cut you off before you got the chance.

"If you're not interested in helping, then stay out of my way," he directed before turning away.

Your lips closed up again, any words wilting away in your throat like a bouquet of old roses. You swallowed the petals down hard. You couldn't get emotional, let alone cry. If you did that, your lover would never let you hear the end of his disappointment.

Your lover. You didn't even know if it was accurate to call him that anymore. More like you were the lover, and he was your beloved. Your Light.

The two of you had been together in a way for as long as you could remember. Friends as children, crushes in your teens, and now as adults, officially boyfriend and girlfriend. You'd wanted this for so long - to say he belonged to you, that you were the ones who owned each other's hearts. But now that you had that, it didn't feel how you imagined it would.

You looked down as you traversed through the crowd. 

The relationship between you and Light didn't feel like a fairy tale. It didn't resemble the romantic movies he used to tease you for liking. You could never imagine him kissing you in the rain or singing some love song or whatever else the guys in those movies did to win back the girls after hurting them.

When Light hurt you, either by brushing you off or saying words cold enough to freeze your pumping heart, he barely even said sorry. He'd give you the look, mutter a "I didn't mean it like that," and if you were lucky, half-hug you and kiss the crown of your head.

He hadn't always been so uncaring. A cloud had cast over him at some point during your teenage years, worse than any usual case of angst. His mental storm seemed to block out any rays of sunlight permanently. In recent months, it had gotten worse. Ever since the start of this investigation. 

The two of you were supposed to be entering the primes of your lives. Enrolled in university, beginning everything together. But he just grew darker by the day, and you didn't know how to stop it. You could feel him dissolving into ash between your fingers. Slipping away while you desperately tried to hold onto whatever you could.

Barbs started to form in your throat and clearing it didn't help any. Reflecting on your crumbling relationship always reduced you to a state of silence or tears. 

You counted the cracks in the street as you walked. It didn't matter to you if you lagged behind and got separated from Light at this point. He made it clear you weren't needed nor wanted. Getting lost wouldn't really mean anything. You could just make your way back to the task force earlier than you'd anticipated. He probably wouldn't even notice your absence.

A few steps ahead, you bumped into his back, earning another glare. He seemed to have come to a dead end in his search. Groaning in frustration, his eyes landed upon you, even harsher than before.

"Don't just stare at me!" he snapped, "Call back to the task force. Let them know we'll be returning soon."

The words struck you as if they were physical arrows. You turned away and pulled out your phone, flipping it open and dialing the number. The tone rang over the painful silence between you two. You tried to choke down any scratchiness your emotions could cause in your voice before someone answered the phone.

Suddenly, a calm voice echoed into your ear.

"Yes?"

L.

"Hi... me and Light will be back soon," you said. The less words you used, the less likely you were to crack.

There was a pause. You wondered if he could tell if something was wrong. You almost hoped that was the case.

"Alright. I take it you two didn't see our target?" he asked.

"No," you answered in the same quiet voice, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I didn't expect the two of you would be successful," he said. His voice was soft, like he truly didn't mind. The exact opposite of your boyfriend's. "We'll talk when the both of you return to the hotel."

He hung up first, and you flipped your phone shut seconds after. Turning to face Light, you found him already staring at you.

"He says he'll talk to us when we come back," you informed him.

All you got in response was a nod. He brushed past you in the direction of the hotel everyone was at for the day. Following along behind him, you didn't say anything. You folded your arms over your chest, not in defiance or anger. It felt defensive.

As you trailed him, the thoughts swirling through your mind consumed most of your attention. Why did you even continue doing this? You were just as much a member of the task force as Light, but he treated you like you were a secretary at best. 

In the past, your father had worked with Mr. Yagami as a detective. You'd grown up in the world of suspects and investigations, taught to solve puzzles since you were old enough to keep yourself upright on your dad's lap at his desk. 

L himself had approved you to work on the Kira investigation independent of that fact. He saw that you could keep up. But still, it felt like everyone treated you as Light's sidekick. You were cute! Smart for a girl. So sweet to dedicate all this time to helping your boyfriend.

By the time you reached the elevator, you were talking yourself up to quitting. You wanted to catch Kira. You believed in this job. But maybe if you cut your losses now, you could still salvage a relationship with Light. Or at least your perception of him. You wouldn't come to resent him if he wasn't yelling at you day in and day out.

You stayed behind him as the two of you walked down the hallway to the room. The lamps lining the walls flickered, making the already dim lighting worse. Your eyes stayed down on your shoes through the entryway and into the room. Light briefly caught up his dad on the day's events, and then you heard that same voice that talked to you over the phone.

You looked up. And suddenly, quitting didn't seem like such a perfect plan.

The syllables of your name rolled off his tongue like smooth billows of smoke. Something fluttered in your belly that you hadn't felt in a while. You used to feel it for Light until every time he spoke your name, it came out with disdain.

L talked, but you only half-registered the words. He was more focused on the points your boyfriend was firing at him anyway. You watched how his dark eyes focused as he absorbed everything about the conversation happening between them.

Your own gaze on him held nothing but admiration. You felt things about L that you wouldn't be able to articulate if asked. At first, you had the same reaction to him that everyone did. You thought he was strange. From the way he sat to his eating habits, you didn't understand him. But over the course of the investigation, you dedicated yourself to trying.

In a way, you looked to him as an aspiration. The pinnacle in the field of investigation. Quite possibly the smartest man in the world (though you'd bet Light would roll his eyes if he heard you say that out loud).

As you watched him now, his crooked posture and jaw rotating while he chewed on some saccharine treat, you began to mentally revise some of your earlier thoughts.

He was the only one who didn't view you as an extension of Light. When you were working with him, you weren't the feminine version of someone else. You were just you.

The only time you believed you deserved to be here just as much as Light was when you were sitting near L. You'd propose an idea or question something, and the way he would look at you made you feel like you weren't just a little kid everyone allowed to play dress up among adults. He'd give you a simple praise. "Nice work," or "Could be. Interesting." And you'd beam like you'd been given a trophy.

Right now though, even his proximity didn't help to brighten your mood. The clouds from your boyfriend snapping at you hadn't cleared just yet.

The conversation occurring in front of you came to a close. Light gave a quick goodbye and then turned to head out after his father. He clearly expected you to follow, but before you could, something else drew your focus. L, saying your name again.

"If you could, may I ask you to stay for a few moments?" he said, expression unchanging.

"What do you need to talk to her for?" Light interjected before you had the chance to answer.

Your head swiveled between the two of them. On one side was L, calm and unbothered by the clipped nature of your boyfriend's voice. On the other was the latter, his mouth twitching with the urge to scowl.

If you didn't know Light as well as you do, you might have thought this was a bout of jealousy. With the current state of things between you two, that might have even made you happy. A sign that he was still invested in you. But you did know him, so you knew that if anything, he was jealous of the fact that L had deemed information suitable for only you.

"It's nothing serious. Just a few questions about some files she brought to my attention last week," L further explained.

You stood there unmoving, as if you needed Light's permission to talk to your teammate. Looking back at him, you waited for some sign of approval.

He glanced at you and then back at the man behind you before shrugging.

"Fine. I'll see you later," he told you, barely saying goodbye as he exited.

The rest of the task force had also cleared the room for the day, leaving you and L in the cool hotel room alone. Your eyes glanced around to distract your mind from the awkwardness of the situation. The tacky pink wallpaper plastered all around you felt like it was closing in at the moment. The only sound between the four walls was the hum of the air conditioner. That was until he waved you over to the sitting area.

"Come here for a second. I wanted to talk to you." His voice sounded as though he didn't feel any of the tension you did.

You followed him as you had followed Light earlier, quiet and lagging behind a few steps. You took a seat on the ivory loveseat against the wall. He slid around the table. You expected him to sit in the chair at the end of the coffee table like he usually did, but instead, he landed next to you on the chiffon cushions. Your heart skipped a beat. You wondered if he was about to give you some sort of bad news. Maybe you'd made a mistake in your work. Maybe you were now a suspect too.

Regardless of what it was, he bent his legs up so his feet rested on the material. His normal crouching position put you at ease.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

You blinked at the question. "Um... no?" you said.

He hummed in acknowledgement. His process of studying one's features was slightly less endearing when you were the target.

"You seem upset. Are you sure you're alright?" he tried again.

"Yeah," you nodded. Your eyes cast down to your lap. "I'm ok, really. I'm sorry if I seem a little off. Just not a great day, I guess."

"Did something happen earlier when you were out?" he said, seeing right through the excuses.

You looked up again, bringing him back into your field of vision. "Not really..." you opted for, though you knew you sounded unconvincing.

"Nothing out of the ordinary?"

"Definitely not out of the ordinary," you sighed before you could stop yourself. Realizing you probably shouldn't have said that, you sunk back against the stiff backing of the sofa.

"What does that mean?" he asked from beside you.

You weren't totally sure why he was going down this line of questioning, but you answered anyway. L had never given you a reason not to trust him.

"It's just stupid stuff. Between me and Light. Nothing you'd want me to bother you with," you shrugged.

"Try me," he said.

You looked at him tentatively.

"Both of you are key members on this task force," he continued, "If something is affecting your ability to work with other members of this team, then I think it's in my best interest to know about it."

A moment of further hesitation passed before you sighed. Your hand rose to your eyes, stretching your fingers over your brow and rubbing at your frustration.

"He just doesn't seem like himself lately," you said, "Or he does, I guess. But he just... he's different with me."

You found your legs pulling closer to your body and your feet perching at the edge of your seat too. Maybe sitting like this did help you think.

"Distant?" L asked from his side of the furniture.

"Sort of... it's like he wants to be distant, but we work together so he can't be. I don't know," you said. You cut yourself short because you could feel your throat beginning to tighten, and you refused to let yourself cry in front of your teammate whose respect you so badly crave.

"Well. The stress of this whole case is probably weighing on Light, especially with him being a suspect..." he said, trailing off in the way he tended to do.

"I guess. It just feels like he can't even stand the sight of me anymore," you said. Your voice cracked the tiniest bit, but you knew he heard it. A shaky breath left you, and you tilted your head back, as if gravity could keep your tears at bay. "Not that long after we started dating, things just got different between us. It's just... disappointing."

The man beside you nodded as if trying to contemplate what to say next. "Have you talked to him about this?"

"Light doesn't do talks like this," you said, barely louder than a whisper.

Another plume of silence rose between the two of you. You swallowed hard, neck still against the back of the couch. Vaguely, you felt the pressure of the seats shifting, the weight on it redistributing.

You took your hand away from your brow and turned your head to find L much closer. His wide eyes stared at you from less than a foot away.

"Someone who cares about you shouldn't be making you so upset," he mused.

To stop your lip from wobbling, you held it between your teeth for a moment. Even though nothing audible came from you, a small drop of water rolled from the outer corner of your eye. Without missing a beat, his thumb came up to wipe it away. If you weren't yearning for someone to care about how you felt, maybe you would have been confused by it. But right then, it felt good.

"He's just so mean now. He was always sharp before but now... he looks at me like he hates me," you whispered.

He seemed to be the one hesitating now. His eyes rested on your features.

"You're an intelligent girl. Light is smart too, of course, but he has no right to order you around or insult you," he said, "I hope you don't feel like you have to put up with that because you work together."

The others had noticed it too then. You hadn't given any specific instances of how he treated you, but he still knew.

"I know I don't have to. I just... I don't know how to be without him," you said, feeling pathetic. You shouldn't need this guy you've only known for such a short amount of time to tell you this stuff. But as he spoke to you with such tenderness, you found yourself wishing he did it more often.

"You know you're a pretty girl. You're sweet and thoughtful. I'm sure there's a lot of people who would feel lucky if you gave them the time of day," he said. The words came out slow, as though he was traversing a field of landmines. "I'm only saying that because staying with someone out of obligation rarely pans out."

You simply nodded in response. What he was saying was the truth. Part of you already knew it. The other part just didn't want to quit yet. It was as if Light was another puzzle, and if you could just put the pieces together right, the picture would form in the end. But the part of you that had already been thinking what you just heard, that was the part that wanted to squirm when you heard the words pretty girl fall from L's lips.

"I know it's not really my place to comment on your relationship," he continued as though he could read your mind, "I just don't want to see you quit this. You're a valuable member of this task force. I would hate to see you run off by petty drama."

You nodded, his words steeling your resolve. "I won't quit this," you confirmed. You wouldn't let Light ruin this for you, but more than that, L wanted you here. And you wanted to be here with him.

"Good," he said while staring back at you. He leaned away from your body and brought his legs down to the floor like he was about to stand. "I don't have anything else to discuss with you. The files thing was just an excuse for Light. You're free to-"

And before you knew what you were really doing, you pushed yourself across the loveseat and crashed your lips against his. To your shock and relief, he didn't push you away. You heard a muffled noise burst out against your mouth, but then you felt him sink into it too. His hand cupped your cheek, and he reciprocated.

A breath you'd been holding since joining this case seeped from your lungs. His lips were so soft, his palm just as delicate. You scooted a little closer to him, feeling the rigidness of his side against your leg. You couldn't remember the last time Light had kissed you like this.

And as that thought crossed your mind, guilt washed over you in a tidal wave.

You pulled back, eyes heavy with the weight of your actions and lips parted so hot puffs of air could flow in and out.

"I'm sorry," you said immediately, "I shouldn't have done that."

He stared back at you, completely motionless for the moment. You started to get up, but he reached out and grabbed your forearm, stopping you.

"Don't be sorry," was all he said at first.

The both of you were trapped here together, locked in the haze of feelings and morals clashing. You wanted to go back in so badly. You wanted to taste him, to feel every detail of his mouth long enough to commit to memory. By the way he was keeping you here, it seemed that he too had some of the same desires.

"I'm sorry because it was unprofessional, not because I don't want to," you clarified softly.

"It was," he agreed, not unhanding you, "I know you're right. It's not a good idea. We should be focused on the case. I shouldn't have involved myself to this degree at all."

The words came out like they're meant to convince himself rather than you.

"Just tell me," he continued, "Did you mean it, or was it a mistake because you're upset?"

"It wasn't a mistake. I meant it. But I can't," you said. But fuck, you wanted to.

He looked so pretty sitting there. His shaggy black hair hung in his eyes which were just as wide and uncertain as yours.

You knew that even though Light could be a huge dick, this was wrong. This wasn't justified, and you should not continue. What you should've done was get up and walk out the door.

But something held you there across from L.

"I understand," he said simply. He wasn't going to force you to do anything. If you strayed from Light, that would be your decision.

'Get up. Get up. Get up,'  repeated in your head over and over. But you didn't follow your own mental advice.

"Did you want it? Or was it just the heat of the moment?" you asked softly.

You could see the indecision written all over his face. To make things more complicated with the truth or let them return to normal under the guise of a lie? The conversation lulled with the delay, but then his silken voice spoke the answer you'd been waiting for.

"I wanted it. I've been wanting it," he told you, "Everyday I see you, it gets harder to stand that I don't have you to myself."

And you knew you shouldn't, but now, you needed to. You pushed yourself forward and closed the gap. His thin arms encircled you to pull you toward him.

"Just this once, we can. Just for tonight, you can. Please," you whispered.

And who was he to deny you?

The problem with that night was that it hadn't turned out to be just once.

In the moment that you spoke those words, you meant them. You truly intended for it to be a one time thing. A small slice of pleasure you allowed yourself to indulge in. A secret that would weigh on your heart for the rest of your life. A brief lapse in judgment. A mistake.

But after the fact, what transpired between you and L felt like anything but.

One small kiss turned into several which whisked the two of you into a breathless makeout session on that loveseat. After a while, you'd crawled into his lap, and he'd slipped inside you. It was all a blur when you looked back on it now. A night of passion you'd never come close to experiencing before.

Quite honestly before that evening, you never imagined L to be capable of such romantic fervor. You imagined him as a much more distant lover. Similar to Light with the idea that his affection would be subtle. Different in that it wouldn't feel cold.

But for those hours, the word subtle hadn't crossed your mind once. Intense. Dedicated. All-consuming. Those seemed like more appropriate descriptors.

He'd been so good that you basically passed out next to him in the hotel bed afterwards. The two of you slept as if any of what had taken place was normal. Your limbs tangled with one another's while your dreams danced together overhead.

The next morning you came to slowly. You sat up and yawned, your hand lazily rubbing some of the sleep off your face. It took a few seconds of consciousness for panic to shoot through your body as you realized you needed to get up and go home.

Members of the task force would be there within the hour. You couldn't just be here before everyone else, wearing the same outfit as yesterday. It wouldn't take someone with Light's IQ to figure out what that meant.

You scrambled to put on your clothes and gather any belongings you'd need to make your re-arrival look fresh. L began to wake up from the sounds of your scuffling. He boosted himself up on the mattress and watched you for a moment. You'd never seen him so unfocused. It was beautiful in a way, his eyes lidded and tired, hazy with the remnants of a dream.

As quickly as you could without being rude, you explained what you were doing. To your pleasure, he didn't put up a fight. He helped you gather what you needed so you could go freshen up before coming back.

Before you left though, he brought you into a lingering kiss. He held your jaw tenderly and pulled away without any urgency, looking in your eyes while stroking your lip.

"I'll see you when you get back," he murmured.

And that was the beginning of many transgressions that shattered the illusion of 'just this once.'

You rushed home and hopped in the shower. The hot water washed away the rest of your drowsiness. The rising fog of steam enveloped you in warmth, bringing flashes of him back to your mind. How soft his dark locks had felt feathering against your neck. How tight his hands had gripped yours as he thrust into you. How sweet he'd sounded moaning in your ear.

Sighing, you leaned against the cool tile wall. You had to forget all that. It'd been nice, but it had to remain contained. Your work came first, and you would never hurt Light with the knowledge of any of that. It had happened and you didn't regret it. But it was over now.

At least that was what you told yourself.

On that day when you returned to the hotel in a new outfit, everything went as normal. There were no sly remarks from L. No tantalizing looks or teasing touches meant to operate under Light's nose. The both of you acted normal, went about your jobs and performed your duties as you're supposed to.

You weren't really sure what happened, but somewhere between then and now, your intentions to cut it off got muddled and faded away.

A few nights later, you had to stay late to review some aspects of the case with L. It started off professional but took no time to devolve. His fingers that had been so careful flipping through paperwork, eventually ended up beneath your skirt, toying with your clit as he had you continue to read off lines from the files before you.

After that, your entire relationship took on that tone. Your time together became filled with holding hands under the table, stolen kisses before others entered the room, and hushed moans as if one decibel too loud would result in you being found out.

But despite how good it all felt, you weren't heartless.

Every time you were alone with Light, the guilt crushed you. You began to act more like him, withdrawn and inattentive. If he noticed, he didn't complain, but that didn't alleviate your shame any.

You knew you had to end it with him. That was the only right way to go about this now.

And you planned to, you honestly did. You set a deadline in your head for when you would do it by. You stood in front of your mirror for nearly an hour, practicing what you were going to say. You imagined his reactions and tried to brace yourself in advance. 

Every last detail was penciled into place. You even told L about it beforehand. As if it were another task for your job, he offered support. His reaction and the way he went about giving you subtle comfort helped you feel like this was the right decision.

In a way, you still loved Light. You probably always would hold a sliver of affection for him. The forever fondness that comes with being your first love. But you were becoming increasingly certain that you loved L too.

The day you planned to cut Light loose, you woke up extra early. The lining of your stomach felt as though it was webbed with live wires. Anxiety coursed through you with every beat of your heart. You got ready for the day like you always did and then went about your routine as normal. You'd meet up with him at the hotel, and then you could do it afterwards when the two of you were alone.

But that day that you had so meticulously planned didn't end with the two of you in some secluded alcove in the lobby. You didn't get to explain anything. He didn't get to yell at you for betraying him or tell you to never speak to him again. None of that happened because instead, that day he came into the room, he didn't leave with you. He didn't go home afterwards.

He offered himself up for confinement. He ended the day in a cell before you ever got to tell him anything.

You sat near L with your head resting on your hands, glaring at the monitor with the image of Light on it. He was looking back at the camera. Even though there was no way for him to have known your plan, you felt like his coppery eyes gleamed with mockery.

L watched your expression, taking in your dire look. Only the two of you occupied the room right now. Everyone else had gone home for the night. He reached across the desk to take your hand. His thumb swiped over your knuckles tenderly.

You glanced at him in return. "Do you really think he could be Kira?" you asked weakly.

The answer you wanted wasn't so much to do with the exact question you asked. No matter how L explained it or whatever evidence he laid out, you could never bring yourself to fully commit to the idea that your boyfriend was this prolific serial killer. Instead, all you really needed in this moment was some reassurance that this stint in confinement wasn't for no reason.

He met your eyes, pausing before he spoke to consider his words.

"Yes. There's a chance he could be, one I'm partial to believe," he said, "But even if he isn't, that will show in time."

You nodded, pouting without realizing it and turning back to the screen. He was looking ahead now, not staring into your soul through the computer screen. You still felt stuck though.

You couldn't launch into a relationship with L now because Light was gone. The others were already pretty up in arms about Light and Mr. Yagami being held. It was doubtful that seeing you and L use the time as an opportunity for your own benefit would lessen those feelings any.

But on the other hand, you figured it would be cruel and unusual to dump Light through the speaker that blasted into his cell.

You sighed and shook your head, casting your vision over to the screen that featured Misa Amane. Your eyes briefly scanned her features. She was pretty; though, it was hard to tell with the large shield they had her face covered in.

"Do you think she's the second Kira?" you asked with disinterest.

He nodded, much more invested in the stakes of these two pieces of the puzzle than you were at the moment.

"Yes. It's just a matter of getting her to admit it," he said.

You nodded again, inclined to agree with him on that. You didn't know Misa all that well, having only crossed paths with her once or twice. From what you could tell, she had a huge crush on your boyfriend. He didn't seem to reciprocate it necessarily, but he did act strange on the few occasions she came up in conversation.

At certain points, you wondered if he was cheating on you with her, but you figured that was your mind projecting.

"We'll figure it out, darling," L said from beside you, drawing you back to reality with his soft tone, "We just have to be patient."

You turned your head to look at him. Some of the tension in your neck and back eased up as you gazed into his eyes. The sight of him sitting there, scrunched up like usual, softened your pessimistic outlook ever so slightly. He made you believe that you could endure all of this simply because he was worth it.

Leaning over the armrest of your office chair, you pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. The images of Light and Misa glowed behind your heads as he furthered it, rolling your seat in his direction.

L had been right about one thing. The past couple months required intense patience.

Light's confinement stretched longer than you would have imagined. You predicted a month at most, and even then, you believed that was kind of a stretch. It shouldn't take that long to determine if he was Kira.

But the one month marker passed and it seemed there was still no end in sight.

You and L continued your affair, still in secret. It was odd having to hide when the main person you were shielding from your feelings sat in a cell under your surveillance twenty four hours a day.

Seeing him like that got to you some days. When he started begging and pleading to be set free, it killed you inside. You could barely stand to look at L when it happened. It felt like you were watching the version of Light you'd fallen in love with come back only to be put in agony. Your chest would ache as you watched the video feed, your lip between your teeth and your eyes brimming with a sheen of salty tears.

L understood as best he could. He had known when this all started that things with you wouldn't be so cut and dry. It still gnawed at him a bit to see you torn up, but he gave you space when you needed it and held you when you didn't.

Just as you were beginning to lose hope that this would ever end, the day came that L informed you he would be releasing Light.

A strange mixture of relief and dread flooded your mind. You hadn't gone this long without speaking to Light since the two of you met back when you were both missing your front teeth and taking notes in crayon. You'd be happy to see him free of course, and it was one step closer to untangling yourself from this twisted web you'd created. But the other part of you filled with uneasiness stemming from your guilt. That combined with the expectation that he wouldn't care one way or the other about being reunited with you.

But when the two of you met again in the new hotel, your predictions couldn't have been more wrong.

You reluctantly glanced up at him when you heard him enter the room. But it was when your eyes met that something felt different. Your racing thoughts came screeching to a halt, a head on collision of guilt and nostalgia.

He strode across the room, lacking the normal weight he seemed to constantly carry on his shoulders these days. You rose to your feet on impulse. His arms reached out, and you felt them wrapping around your body. He pulled you to his chest, holding you there as his nose brushed the crown of your head. He said your name against your scalp with more softness than you'd heard from him in months.

You returned the embrace. Your hands splayed across his back, feeling the lean muscles beneath his shirt. Before you knew what was happening, your eyes felt misty.

"I missed you," you choked out as a whisper, "I've missed you so much."

You'd been missing him longer than fifty days. The version of Light in your arms was the one you loved since you were old enough to really understand the concept. This was the one you thought you'd lost forever because of this investigation.

"I missed you too," he said in return. Even his voice sounded like it used to. He didn't speak with inherent disdain for your very being. The words came out with a soft lilt meant for a lover.

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I didn't do more to help you," you whimpered. The apology was meant for more than the crime you confessed to.

"It's alright. There was nothing you could do," he said, his hand rubbing the expanse between your shoulder blades.

You ran your fingers up his neck and threaded them in his sandy locks. Pulling back a few inches, you kissed his cheek a couple times. You felt the skin flush red with embarrassment, which brought a smile to your lips. He didn't scowl or push you off. He got flustered.

"I missed you a lot. Don't leave me like that again," you whispered, pulling him back in for one more tight hug.

Your heart ached with the knowledge that you had planned to break up with him soon. You didn't think you could go through with it anymore. Not when he was himself again. Your Light.

The two of you pulled away from each other, and then your eyes landed on L sitting on the couch. Either he was much more understanding than you ever thought possible for a human being, or he had a phenomenal poker face. He looked completely unaffected, faring much better than you would be if the roles were reversed.

In contrast to his unbothered appearance, your stomach turned. You felt more guilt building in the pit of your belly, each brick being laid there reminding you of the fact that you were a horrible person. It was the only truth you would accept about this situation. You were a horrible person whose selfishness had created this mess. Truly, the solution you probably needed was swearing off men. You should devote yourself solely to finding Kira because you didn't deserve anyone. Certainly not the two people in this room with you.

The two of them began to speak, but you could barely hear the words coming out. Each of them sat on one end of the orangey, vintage couch while you took your seat in the chair on the opposite side of the pale rug beneath you. All your mind could focus on were the questions swirling within. How could you have done this? How could you have been so self-centered and stupid?

Neither of them deserved this. They didn't deserve to be caught in the carnage of your emotional state. You should've broken up with Light when you fell for L, plain and simple. That would have been the cleanest exit strategy possible here. Now there was no clean option left. Anything you did was going to leave animosity and tension in its wake.

You didn't zone back into the conversation until the words that had been popping out every so often started to piece together. The arrangement they were planning began becoming clear to you.

"You're going to handcuff yourselves together?" you asked with disbelief.

They both took a break from conversing with each other to look at you. L nodded while Light verbalized an explanation.

"If this gets us closer to catching Kira, it will be worth it."

"But come on, do you really think this is necessary? Wasn't almost two months in confinement enough to prove your innocence? All this will do is drive each of you crazy," you argued. The part you left unsaid was that it would drive you crazy as well.

"I believe it's necessary," L told you, "I also believe it will increase our efficiency."

He stared into your eyes, trying to convince you without words. If he was anyone else, you would believe this was intentional. A strike to get back at you for your loving reunion with Light. But you didn't think L would do that. He'd never taint the integrity of his case with personal feelings, and he'd never hurt you like that. He'd never hurt you like you hurt him.

Before you know it, a long, silver chain with two shiny cuffs attached had been pulled out. Each of your lovers got one locked around his wrist. You glanced between them, your eyes following the links that connected them.

You had a bad feeling this would require even more patience than the last couple months did.

Though it wasn't his intention, L couldn't help but feel that this handcuff idea had turned into a punishment for him. His consequence for sleeping with a girl in a relationship, and then continuing the affair and allowing himself to grow attached.

When he came up with the plan, he thought he could handle it. He had put up with watching you and Light together for months when he believed his feelings were unrequited. But now that he had his own taste of you, it felt nearly unbearable.

Living in the task force building with the two of you and watching you lavish all your affection on Light felt like torture. Every stroke of the other man's soft hair from your loving fingers felt like a blade slicing his skin. Each kiss to his pale temple was a bullet piercing his own flesh. Every time he had to hear you speak to Light in a sappy tone of voice or pay him a compliment, he'd rather rip his own ear drums out.

It was brutal. He didn't even get the reprieve of your nights alone together anymore. Your contact with him had been reduced to emotional looks, double-edged words, or soft touches on the rare occasions that Light fell asleep first.

Those nights were few and far in between. The last time it had happened had been weeks ago. All of three of you had been watching a movie, some horror flick none of you had seen. You sat on the couch together, like this was a hang out and not a date. On the right side, Light leaned back into the cushions. L took up the left side while you were in the middle between them.

Light had you tucked to his side as the movie played in front of you three. It was a possessive gesture and that was obvious to L. The movie wasn't scary and you weren't cold. The other man wanted his relationship with you on display. If L was going to sit in on your dates, at least he would know he was the third wheel.

He tried to act casual about it, tried keeping his eyes solely on the screen showing the carved up victims of the film's killer. But he couldn't stop himself from noticing how you played with Light's fingers. You shuffled them between your own, bending his digits and stroking the smooth skin. You fidgeted with them thoughtlessly like it was the most natural thing in the world. And he realized for both of you, it probably was. He'd never felt so out of place.

The urge to get away from it coursed through him with such intensity that he considered popping his thumb out of place just to slip out of the cuffs and get some space. The air in here felt suffocating, weighing down heavier on him every second. He ran his hand through his sleek hair. This night couldn't be over soon enough.

It was about two-thirds of the way through the movie that he felt your hand on his instead. You inched across the cushions and looped your fingers over his. He turned to look at you and saw Light's head slumped over onto your shoulder.

Unease swirled in your eyes. You seemed almost apologetic, and that was confirmed when you spoke, keeping your voice quiet enough not to wake your sleeping boyfriend.

"I'm sorry," you whispered.

He blinked at you. "For what?"

A little sigh puffed from between your lips. "For this," you said, "I'm sorry for dragging you into this and stringing you along and not just breaking things off one way or the other."

"I was hardly unwilling," he responded. His hand flipped over and returned the hold you had on him.

His words made you smile a little, but sorrow still riddled your features. "You know what I mean. I just... I don't wanna make you feel like I'm leading you on. I don't regret being with you. I still care about you. A lot," you said. The L word stayed on the tip of your tongue. You were too mixed up to expel it.

He shook his head. "Don't apologize," he commanded gently, "If I expected something easy, I wouldn't have let this go as far as it did. I'm just as much to blame."

"But still," you replied, unconvinced, "I know I should just end things or leave you alone. It's just that he finally seems to like me again, and I don't know. It's hard to throw that away."

Sadness pervaded your words, and he hated it. It made sense. The tangled knots between the three of you didn't leave much room to feel happy.

"If Light is what you need right now, then that's ok. You don't need to feel an obligation to me-"

"I don't!" you interjected, almost forgetting to keep your volume down, "I don't. It's not like that. I love Light, but you're important to me too. I don't feel like I owe you anything. I feel attached to you because you're special. You mean so much to me. You're not like anyone I've ever known."

You were killing him, truly. He didn't want to let you go, but he figured giving you a way out would be easier. You just wouldn't take it. He didn't really know what to say. It wasn't like he could just join you and Light... the other man would never go for that.

"I love you too," he whispered, saying the words you wanted to without mincing them, "But feeling so torn isn't good for you. And it's not fair to Light."

Internally, your heart soared from the soft declaration. It would've been one of the most romantic moments of your life if it wasn't for the fact that you had made it so messy. But you had, so all you could do was nod because you knew he was right.

"Figure out what exactly you want, what will make you happy, and what will be best for you," he finished.

He then leaned in and gave you the smallest, softest kiss you'd ever received. Despite its fleeting nature, it struck you like a truck crashing into your body. It was the first time you'd kissed him in weeks, a reminder of how good he felt.

You stared into his eyes once the two of you had separated, running the tip of your tongue over your upper lip. Your heart fluttered in your chest for him. Your breaths came in and out with a little more effort.

Then, interrupting the exchange between you two, Light snuck his other arm around your waist and pulled you closer to his body like you were a beloved stuffed animal. The sudden reminder of his presence nearly caused you to jump out of your skin.

You ripped your eyes away from L and settled back in next to your boyfriend. Cuddling him closer, one of your hands ran through his hair and ensured he didn't wake himself up by moving.

And just like that the moment was over. Things went back to how they had been every other second the three of you spent in this arrangement. But L had gotten his fill and it was enough to keep him going for a while more.

Over the next couple days, he watched the two of you more closely. Part of him did it for selfish reasons. He wanted to find more time he could have you to himself. More moments he could steal from Light. But there was another part of him that was purely curious. It was the part of him always looking for a logical solution.

Through his observations, it became increasingly obvious to him that Light wasn't happy about this handcuffing arrangement in regards to his time with you either. He just seemed able to tolerate it much better than L could. Probably because he was the one with the official claim on you. He didn't have to hide his feelings.

Light could openly sit with his arm around your shoulders or your ass parked on his lap. He was the one that could stroke your head or kiss your cheek. He got to call you 'sweetheart' and be the recipient of your bright smiles.

At first he didn't take advantage of any of those things too often, but lately, the detective had noticed an uptick in all of those behaviors. The others had caught onto it too and found his rejuvenated affection for you slightly odd, but they chalked it up to almost two months apart. Two months without any form of physical contact would drive anyone to feel needy. And L agreed with that for the most part, though like with everything else, he had some theories of his own.

He also believed that Light's increase in attentiveness towards you stemmed from jealousy beginning to fester inside him. Maybe jealousy wasn't exactly the right word, but his actions toward you weren't purely romantic. They felt like warnings sometimes, reminders that you belonged to him.

He didn't think you had told your boyfriend about your affair. It was doubtful that he would've just let that slide and carried on with things as if they were totally fine. And he didn't think he was catching on either. As much as it pained him, you had been so inconspicuous. If he was anyone but himself, he didn't think he would paint you as attracted to anyone other than Light.

There was only one real instance he could identify that would qualify as Light catching scent of the truth.

The three of you had been working on the case in the evening, sitting side by side at the table in the main room of HQ. Your bodies lined up in their normal arrangement, Light on one side, you in the middle, and L on the other.

Over the crown of your boyfriend's brown hair, sat the band on a pair of headphones. The audio of last week's news coverage droned in his ears. Meanwhile you worked on taking notes on dates of killings and potential patterns and connections between them. L was scribbling some points down about names of victims.

It had been small, and he'd barely noticed it. But when his eyes drifted to the left side of his page, he caught a little marking on the right edge of yours.

A small pair of dots with a curved line beneath stared up at him. The little smiley face gave him the look you couldn't, spoke the words he didn't hear from you anymore.

He ended up drawing his own tiny ":)" on his paper. It rested right next to yours, only separated by the thin space between the two sheets.

It only took you a minute or so to notice. He acted like he was focused on his work, but he subtly watched in his peripheral for the smile that spread across your lips.

Continuing the game, you brought your pen back to the sight of your doodle and drew a little tongue sticking out of the mouth. He laughed under his breath. Thoughts of adding onto his filled his brain, but before he could, the third person in the room interjected.

"Are you guys passing notes now?" Light asked before nudging the headphones off one of his ears, both visibly and audibly unamused.

Your head whipped to face him. "Sorry. I just got a little distracted," you explained. You leaned in and placated him with a kiss to his cheek. Then your attention returned to the task in front of you.

L continued to watch as the interaction played out. Before he could refocus his own intentions, he caught Light giving him a look. It was only for a few seconds, but the suspicion shot across the back of your shoulders directly into L's skull.

But as far as he knew, that had been it. Neither of you had talked about it in front of him, so unless you discussed it while he slept, Light must have just let it go.

So the only other option left that could explain this shift in his level of affection was natural possessiveness. Whether he was conscious of it or not, Light had to share you with someone else 24/7 now. The two of you were never alone anymore. Even if L stayed quiet, forgetting his presence entirely was not an easy task with the way he stared. Private conversations and truly intimate moments were a thing of the past in your shared life. He supposed that would grate on anyone.

He still wasn't decided on that line of reasoning though, so he filed it away with the rest of the ways Light had changed during his confinement. He could figure out the source later. For now, he just needed to focus on you.

Quite honestly, he couldn't believe he had let any of this happen. He found himself wishing that he stopped on that first night. That part of his mind yearned for some way to go back in time and tell you the kiss was unprofessional and leave the tension to fizzle out. Everything would be so much easier in the universe where that actually happened.

But then again, in that universe, that version of himself would never get to experience you, and he didn't envy that in the slightest. Even with all the drama and secrets and heartache, he didn't regret you at all. It was the mess he hated, not the person at the center of it. No matter how hopeless things between the two of you seemed, he found himself unable to let go. You could trample his heart as much as you wanted and drag it through countless fields of broken glass, but at the end of the day, he'd still be there waiting for you to pick him from the carnage.

He knew it was pathetic. Childish even, believing in some sort of modern fairytale with you. But being aware of those things didn't curtail his feelings any.

If anything, it made them worse. Not having you to himself like he did for the time Light was gone created a bitter taste in the back of his mouth. Acidic resentment ready to spew at any moment toward the man toting you around as his possession.

The worst it felt was when you two did try to have a private moment while he slept.

Normally, you spent the nights in your own room in the task force building, but on occasion, you'd fall asleep before you could retire to your own space. In those cases, you'd sleep pressed to Light's side on one of the two beds in his and L's shared bedroom.

That night when the jealousy burned so hot inside him it felt like it would bubble over, it was because he woke up to the sound of the chain rustling. It dangled across the space between the two twin mattresses, the links clanking against each other and the floor. The sounds weren't erratic but just noisy enough to pull him from the comforts of unconsciousness.

His mind stayed hazy at first, ready to be lured back under. But then he heard a soft moan. Light's voice tenderly bursting into the otherwise quiet space. Then came you shushing him.

"I'm only gonna keep going if you stay quiet," you whispered.

That brought L to his senses a little more. He had been facing away from the two of you, so he couldn't see what was going on exactly. He blinked away his sleepiness and tried to focus on deducing that though. 

From there, he could hear the rhythmic strokes of your hand. The wet sound of you spitting onto your palm. Light's grunts as he presumably bit his lip and kept his face against your neck.

"You're so good at that," he choked out while gritting his teeth.

A quiet giggle trickled from your lips, and a part of L died inside. It felt kind of stupid. He knew you and Light were intimate. But knowing and bearing witness were two separate things.

"You still have to be quiet. If you wake him up, I'm never doing this for you again. If you get hard in the middle of the night, you'll have to rely on your own hand," you teased before connecting your lips with his.

L lied in bed as the rest of that played out. The delicate smooches and creaks of the bed. Light's strained whines and labored breaths.

Even after you'd finished him off and the two of you fell asleep again, he rested on the bed, moving as much as a stone. His eyes stared at the wall while his limbs felt like cement. Thoughts tangled up in his mind. The feelings of betrayal and envy and disgust and longing all muddled together.

Humiliating as it was, none of them killed his need for you. If you came to him tomorrow and informed him you and Light had split, he'd be as ready to embrace you as he was a few hours ago.

The desperate yearning for you was a disease, but as of now, it wasn't terminal. He could still function, could still even coexist with the subject of his hatred. That's what he was doing right now as the three of you played Mario Kart on the Wii hooked up to the tv in their shared room.

You and Light were curled up in the corner of the couch again while L sat a few feet away on the floor with his back against the structure. His shoulders tilted side to side as he maneuvered the controller in his hands.

Three of the small split screens showed your chosen characters weaving through Coconut Mall. You had a shitty race so far, lagging behind in fifth place. Light was up ahead in first with Toad while L trailed close behind in third as Dry Bones.

You already resigned to losing given that it was the third lap and you didn't have any good power ups. After winning the last cup, that was fine with you. One of them could have this one. 

The two men on either side of you didn't share your nonchalance. Both were dead silent, completely focused on the tv screen. They zipped their cars through the virtual parking lot, dodging the mini obstacles in the way. Glancing over at his corner of the screen, you could see Light basically had it in the bag. But then L jammed his thumb down on one of the wiimote buttons.

A blue shell flew out of the little skeleton turtle's hand and zipped up ahead to Toad. It slammed down with all the pettiness L felt inside, and Dry Bones passed by, smug with success.

"Damn!" Light huffed, dropping the controller in his lap.

He glared at the screen as you finished up the race. You came in fourth place rather than fifth. The feeling of slight achievement wasn't long lived though. You could tell out of the corner of your eye that your boyfriend had just barely resisted the urge to fling the plastic remote towards the wall.

L turned his head to look up at the both of you. His gossamer lashes kissed his cheeks as he blinked a few times. You looked at him awkwardly, hoping he could say something to cut through the tension.

"You know, Light. If you used the mushroom in your inventory, you could've avoided the blue shell. There's a trick you can do with the timing, but also, you would've been over the finish line if you sped up so it wouldn't have mattered if it hit you anyw-"

Light's head snapped in his direction, his stare even more agitated than before. Your eyes flitted between them like a scolded puppy even though you weren't on the receiving end of the icy look. If there was one thing about Light you knew, it was that he hated being shown up. And even more, he loathed being corrected afterwards.

"What happened to you pretending like you're not even here?" he said with a tight jaw, "This is supposed to be time for me and my girlfriend. And last I checked, that isn't you."

L shrugged in response, not reciprocating the annoyance. "It was your girlfriend who asked me to play. Maybe you should have checked with her about that," he said coolly.

You cringed a little, hearing the subtle assertion in his voice. He said your girlfriend, but you could sense the challenge. The unspoken dare to Light to make that more apparent so he could prove otherwise. You really really didn't want that to happen though, so you interrupt the exchange with forced laughter.

"Guys, chill out. It's just Mario Kart. No need to get all upset," you said.

L took your advice and turned his eyes back towards the television. Coconut Mall was only the second track in the cup after all. There were two more to go.

You looked up at Light who was relaxing now too and sinking back into the plush cushions of the couch. He still hadn't picked up the blue wiimote in his lap, and you weren't confident he was going to in the next few seconds.

As a preemptive strike, you leaned in and kissed his cheek. "You don't have to play anymore if you don't want to, baby," you murmured.

Baby.

The word stabbed at L. He peered back at your shared corner of the couch.

"Don't be a sore loser, Light. You know you don't have to be good at everything," he taunted.

In an instant, your boyfriend's face morphed into his previous harsh expression. You grabbed the controller from his lap, preventing him from lobbing it at L before the thought to do so could form in his mind.

"I actually have a lot of other games. We could all just play something else. There's Wii Sports, Just Dance. I even have this one where you're like a detective, so maybe you guys would like that..." you chattered.

"Can we just watch a movie instead? Something that involves less input from him," Light responded with a pointed gaze in L's direction.

"Sure!" you chirped, all too eager for another distraction.

You hopped up from the sofa, nearly tripping over the chain that connected their wrists. Your feet got their balance though and narrowly avoided an embarrassing fall. Once stable, you headed over to the little binder of disks you'd brought to HQ when you all moved in here and rifled through it to find something that could please both men.

L chewed the inside of his cheek. He had nothing to really be irritated about in this moment, but this whole situation wore on him. As a result, he felt like being a little pushy.

"Your girlfriend was excited to play that game, wasn't she?" L asked, still keeping the facade of casualness, "We really have to stop because you're not winning?"

The way Light gritted his teeth was nearly audible. "She's the one who suggested we do something else," he defended, "If she still wanted to play, she would tell me. She doesn't need you speaking on her behalf."

"Yeah, really. It's no big deal. I can play later," you said, trying your best to smooth things out.

L's pupils lingered on you, assessing and judging. He knew you were trying to defuse the situation above all else. He understood the motivation, but that didn't mean he liked it. Why couldn't you let the fuse burn down to the blow up? The explosion that could set everything straight. Let it clear this mess and leave nothing but rubble that the two of you could rise from to be together.

As of now though, that was nothing more than a wild pipe dream. He let go of it. It was probably best for the case anyway.

You popped a DVD into the player before standing and prancing back to the sofa. Taking your seat, you slotted yourself right under Light's arm, pressed against his side. L scooted up onto the couch too but maintained the distance of a single cushion. It was weird sharing the space with the two of you, yet he figured it was better than staying on the floor and feeling like a kid being babysat by a negligent couple.

Only a few moments passed before the menu screen appeared. The cheesy looped music sounded for a couple seconds before you tapped the button to play your selection. It was some 90s movie. One that despite its star-studded cast, was still filled to the brim with atrocious acting.

All three of you were silent through the beginning even though none of you held much interest in the film. The plot panned out predictably; the characters fighting over petty qualms and falling in love at the drop of the hat while the end of the world decorated the background of their lives.

L let out a quiet sigh, a section of his dark tresses swaying with the force of his breath. The heel of his palm squished against his cheek while boredom swirled in his eyes and spread across his other features.

Meanwhile on your side of the couch, you remained relieved you'd avoided imminent catastrophe. Your head leaned against Light's shoulder while his fingers twirled absent-mindedly on your bicep. About forty-five minutes into the film, he turned and kissed your forehead.

You peeked up at him. The act would've been unusual for the Light you'd become accustomed to months ago, but for this updated version, it was fairly in line. You gave him a tiny smile and snuggled further into his side. Relaxation permeated the both of you as you sat there and watched the stupid movie in front of you. To you, it was the end of conflict. This acted as a time killer to fill the rest of the night before you could go to sleep.

But your boyfriend seemed to view the situation through a different lens.

His fingers continued to massage your upper arm in light ministrations. They were barely noticeable. So casual they almost felt inherent.

But that was only until they dragged upward to your neck and collar. The smooth pads of his fingertips trailed over the little bump of your clavicle. They dusted over you with the most gentle care you'd ever seen from the man holding you close. His digits traced with intention, with subtle desire. They delved downward and teased the top of your breasts, bringing heat creeping up from the pit of your belly into your cheeks.

Carefully, you readjusted your position, brushing him off in the most inadvertent way possible. In contrast to the way he pulled away from your hand all those months ago, this could truly appear to be accidental. It didn't matter though because it didn't deter him any.

His head ducked in, and he kissed the skin beneath your earlobe. He pulled you a little closer to his body, allowing you to feel the definition of his form. An involuntary shudder swept over you. You tried to fight it, but the provocative touches had an effect whether you wanted them to or not.

He moved his lips down, licking and nipping from your earlobe onto your throat. That was when you almost lost it, nearly letting a moan escape you. It would have been soft and quiet, but at any volume, it wasn't a sound you wanted getting out right now.

Your eyes fluttered. All his touches felt so good. Light knew your body. Even though he was a dick for most of the beginning of your relationship, he was still observant. He knew all the spots that made you melt. He knew the area below your pulse point caused you to squirm and whimper while grazing the divot in your hips made them buck as a chill overtook you.

He kept his kisses quiet. Not quiet enough for someone attempting to hide them, but to the point that he wasn't slobbering all over your neck.

Either way, L noticed what the two of you were up to. He felt jealousy taking root inside of him. Ugly, brutal, all-consuming envy. He hated it, didn't want it at all, but it still made itself known.

He kept his eyes locked on the screen. He could feel you two shifting around in your corner. He could hear your breath hitch like it did for him. He could see in his peripheral how Light held you, in the way he wished he could.

"Light, quit it," you whispered.

You really tried to keep this between you and him, but he kept going. One set of his fingers swept down over your curves and gripped the dip in your waist. They squeezed the soft flesh, keeping you close.

"Shhh," he hushed you before nipping at the sensitive skin of your throat, "Relax, baby. This is supposed to be a date, yeah?"

Suppressing a whimper in your throat, you nodded weakly. You decide to just let him mess around a little more. Maybe he could work out his frustration and then mellow out.

At first, you thought that worked. He eased his efforts, laying some tender pecks on your neck. His kisses hit your skin with alluring care. You felt lulled into a sense of security. Your body calmed itself and cooled the fires of arousal beginning to burn. But then his lips parted and his tongue snuck out, licking a stripe up your neck before his mouth engulfed the wet area.

Simultaneously, his hand coasted back up and landed on your breast. This time the touch wasn't teasing. He grabbed the mound of flesh with intention. He kneaded it with unmistakable desire. Heat blossomed between your legs like it would when the two of you were alone. But instead of sinking into that feeling and spreading your thighs for him, you squeaked and tried to sit up.

"Stop," you whined. You were still trying to keep quiet, but you had to raise your volume somewhat to be forceful.

You grabbed his hand on your chest and pushed it back down onto your stomach. Though all that did was give him the leverage to pull you onto his lap entirely. The chain connecting him to L rattled as your body scraped across it.

Finally, L turned his head and looked at the two of you straight on. He observed the way Light held you to his chest and continued ravishing your throat. His eyes scanned over the way you squirmed and tried shutting him down without making a scene. The thing that stood out the most though was Light's eyes staring back at him. They gleamed with self-satisfaction, smugness to a level that dared L to try something. The glow of the tv hit his copper irises in a way that made them look closer to a deep shade of red.

L swallowed hard, taking a few more moments to watch. He could see from your expression you were embarrassed but not entirely displeased with the affection. It felt like a swarm of insects tearing him apart from the inside, the knowledge you could still enjoy touches that came from someone else. He didn't think he had that ability anymore.

"She told you to stop," he cut in, bitterness dripping from each word.

Pulling his mouth away from your neck for a few moments, your boyfriend's attention zeroed in entirely on the other man in the room.

"And was she talking to you when she said it?" he asked pointedly.

A pause filled the gap in conversation after those words. Both men stared one another down, contemplating the next move in the verbal chess match. Light's arms remained firm around you. He didn't let you scoot back to the neutral position between the both of them.

"I thought you said we could do whatever we wanted in front of you. That we shouldn't pay you any mind. Act 'like you're not even here,'" Light continued.

"Maybe it's better that I am here if you don't know what the word 'stop' means," he fired back.

You finally found the courage to cut in after watching the two of them go back and forth.

"It's fine, Ryuzaki. We were just messing around. I'm sorry if we made you uncomfortable," you said, diplomatic as ever.

"It's not fine," he challenged you. For the first time ever, you saw L lose his cool. His eyes blazed with ire for both you and Light. He stood from the couch, maintaining his glare. "You never stand up to him and then wonder why he never changes!"

Your eyes widened at the outburst, but your expression quickly melted into that of an ashamed child. On the other hand, your boyfriend lost his sense of superiority and now just looked confused.

"What is he talking about?" he asked.

"I- It's not-" you started to stammer, but you're unsure of who to even address, let alone what to say.

L could see you were struggling. A small part of him felt some guilt for lashing out, but the whole of him knew he needed to. This game between the three of you had grown tiresome. All he did to help was stay quiet and give you the room to collect your thoughts.

Light didn't offer that courtesy though and spoke again. "What is he talking about? You wonder why I never change?" he echoed.

"It's not like that," you defended with urgency, "I don't wish you would change."

Disgust crept into L's eyes. Before, he'd always found your timidity endearing. It was like an extension of your intelligence. Modesty that you projected because you wrongfully believed you didn't fit in with everyone else.

Though this exposed the truth of that characteristic. It wasn't inherently precious or just some part of you that came from the desire not to hurt others.

Right now, it was cowardice.

"Maybe not anymore. His confinement must have changed you too," L said.

His words hollowed out your insides, leaving the cavern of your chest bare, spare the remaining shards of your heart. The room around you felt like a sinking ship. Everything you knew would soon be lost underwater.

"I haven't changed," you said, your initial defensiveness fizzling out, "You don't understand."

"My confinement?" Light repeated, ignoring your words to the other man, "Did something happen between you two while I was locked up?"

It was hard to keep up when accusations were flying at you from both sides.

"No! Just let me explain," you denied, "When you were gone, me and Ryuzaki got kind of close because there's no one else around here to really talk to, you know?"

"Talk," L choked out, "That's all we did, huh? Talk?"

"I didn't mean- I just... It's not-" you tried to continue. You could feel your throat closing up as your eyes began stinging with tears.

There was no way you were going to let yourself cry. Not when you knew you were so undisputedly in the wrong. It would probably just make this situation worse. The pain you caused wasn't hypothetical anymore, but there were still salvageable pieces of the shattered whole.

You took a deep breath before scooting off of Light's lap. His arms had long gone limp around your waist. Sitting between them on the sofa, you stared down at your thighs for a few moments. When you finally felt some semblance of courage, you brought your head back up.

Both of them were watching you in anticipation. L still had broken hearts gleaming in his eyes while angry confusion dominated Light's features.

"While you were in confinement, Ryuzaki and I..." you started softly. Even though trailing off left your crimes unspoken, you knew the implication was obvious to Light. You forced yourself to continue anyways, needing to take responsibility. "It started a little before that actually. We got close. And we did a lot more than talk."

You sucked in a shaky breath, conjuring the will to expel the next set of words.

"I was unfaithful. And I'm so sorry."

Your head hung in shame. The room fell silent, spare for the quiet dialogue coming from the characters on the television.

"You... you cheated?" Light finally sputtered, "You cheated on me?"

Turning your head, you looked at him before nodding. "I'm so sorry, Light. I know it sounds like a cliche, but I never meant to hurt either of you."

The words came out like a broken record as your eyes watered to the point of overflow. With stiff fingers, you brushed away the stray tear.

"Why?" he asked, his tone settling into anger.

"I felt alone. And you were so distant. And I didn't know how to talk to you. But I didn't even try," you explained. It felt cheap to try and provide an excuse.

"How the hell am I distant? We're with each other every single day!" he snapped.

"Yeah, but before... you were different before. You were so mean all the time!" you responded.

He didn't have anything to say back to that because part of him knew it was true. And as shitty as it felt trying to justify yourself, he still had never offered up a reason as to why that was. He left you to wonder what you had done even now that he acted like he actually wanted to be in a relationship with you.

"It just started as advice. That was it, I swear. He just offered to help me because he saw how I was feeling. Then it became something more, and I was wrong for letting it while we were still together. But then you went away and I couldn't do anything about it and we just got even closer. And I'm just so sorry," you whispered, "I don't expect you to forgive me."

L shifted back and forth on his feet before lowering himself onto the sofa again. He still said nothing. He just observed, waiting to see what Light would say next.

"Do you still... have feelings for him?" he asked, "Do you still love me?"

"Yeah, I still love you," you said and looked back up at him, "I know I did a shitty job of showing it, but I never wanted to lose you. I... I couldn't just let you go. We've always been each other's."

He diverted his focus when you whispered out your words of endearment for him. "You didn't answer both questions," he muttered.

Sighing, you paused. You mentally tried to decide how to answer. Speaking as if only you and Light were in the room would hurt L, but addressing him rather than your boyfriend probably wouldn't bode well for you either.

"What do you guys want me to say?" you whispered.

"Tell the truth. Be honest. Say what it is you want," L finally joined in.

"Say it instead of just taking it," Light added.

Even though their directions were clear, it still took a few moments to find the words you wanted to use.

"I want both of you," you answered, "I don't want to pick. I don't want to hurt either of you any more than I already have."

The room stayed quiet after your declaration. You could feel the weight of Light's stare, but L simply seemed resigned. Reaching out on both sides of yourself, you took their hands.

You wrapped your fingers around their palms. Your digits could feel the subtle differences in each appendage. Both were smooth and slender, though L's knuckles protruded more than Light's. Luckily, neither one of them made the move to pull away.

"I know it's stupid and childish and selfish, and you can call me all that stuff. Just please don't leave," you begged softly.

The lone tear from before was no longer a stray. More followed its path and trailed down the smooth curves of your cheeks.

After a few moments, you felt L's thumb begin to swipe back and forth over your knuckles. Always the more lenient of the two, he was already caving a little bit to the sight of you weeping.

"I can't leave," Light grumbled and raised his hand, reminding you of the binds that kept him here. 

He wasn't as swayed by your display of emotion. His jaw remained clenched with his eyes set in a harsh glare. You could hear the process of his thoughts piecing together in his head, you just couldn't decipher what exactly they were.

"So what?" he said when he finally spoke again, "I'm not good enough for you anymore. I have to share you with him?"

"No. You are good enough for me. That's not why," you reassured. Squeezing his hand, you continued, "You don't have to share. If you want to dump me, I would understand. I just... I can't just pretend me and Ryuzaki never happened."

Blinking at you, he took in each word and let it float through his mind. He mostly understood your point despite the murderous anger flowing through him in that moment. And on top of that, the small piece of him that knew the smart thing would be to break up with you was dominated by the larger part of his psyche that refused to let L win.

If he broke up with you, there was no doubt in his mind that L would accept you with ease. Why should he get to have that? Why should Light be the one who ended up alone in this situation? You were his first, and you still wanted him. You'd strayed for a moment, but your heart still belonged to him. He was sure that in time he could erase any remnants of your infidelity. He just had to be patient.

"What does Ryuzaki think?" he asked before looking at the other man, "He's been so quiet. Does he think we should have you choose? Does he want you all to himself?"

L returned his stare past you. "I said what I think. I want her to have what she wants," he replied.

"Don't give me that," Light sneered, "This isn't a case. There's nothing you have to put together before coming up with a conclusion. Do you still want her? Do you still want her even if she can't make up her mind and thinks she deserves you and me?"

You cringed at the wording of his questions but decided not to interject. Instead, you waited for L's response.

"Yes. I still want her. Even under those circumstances," he admitted.

The revelation made Light both smug and bitter. Knowing someone else coveted what was his felt good, but realizing that same person had some success obtaining it ate away at him. He wouldn't make that apparent though.

"I just think it would be easier if we worked on solving the case first," you added, "If I pick one way or the other, someone will end up hurt and that would only cut into our chances of catching Kira."

"So what do you suggest we do instead then?" Light asked, "Do we all pretend like everything is normal? That neither of us feel anything for you, and you don't feel for us?"

"No, Light-" you tried to defend, but he kept going.

"Or is it that you really want us to share? You wanna sleep between us at night? Want us both to tell you how proud we are when you do something good? Want both of our attention focused on you?" he mocked.

"No, I just think we should talk about it," you offered. You felt your cheeks starting to burn.

"Talk about what? What plan did you have in mind?" he carried on, grabbing your jaw and making you look into his eyes.

"I don't know..." you acquiesced.

From your other side, L hardened his gaze a bit. "She already apologized and offered to come up with a solution, Light. Don't just try making her feel worse," he warned.

"I'm not. I'm just trying to get some clarity on the situation," he said, "I just want to know what she means."

You didn't have an answer for him because in all honesty, you didn't really know what you meant. This wasn't a daydream. It wasn't realistic to expect both men to just magically forgive your betrayals. This wasn't a fantasy world in which their love for you would overpower all other negatives. But you didn't want to contend with a reality that wasn't that way, so you remained silent.

That didn't deter Light from coming after you some more though.

"Just say what you were thinking," he encouraged, "Is it that you want both of us to call you baby and pretty girl and all those other sweet names I know you like? Or maybe it's less innocent. Do you have a thing for two guys at once that you never told me about?"

The warmth of embarrassment flooded your face in full force. You could barely think with the hot air swirling around inside your skull.

"No, Light-" you asserted. But again, he keeps going.

"No? Maybe you like being watched then? I know you love almost being caught. But do you want someone actually watching you?" he taunted.

"Light, this isn't doing anything to-" L tried to intervene on your behalf. But your boyfriend didn't want to hear it.

"Do you wanna show Ryuzaki how you like to be touched? Or is it that you wanna show me what I'm missing out on now?" he asked.

"That's not why!" you said and yanked your hand away.

He laughed in response. He had no problem continuing to stare you down either.

"Maybe not entirely, but I know you. I know there's a small part of you that gets off on being caught." he accused.

And that was true. Having known you for so long, he knew what revved your engine. You'd told him all your dirty little secrets and darkest desires. Now that he was openly using them against you, you weren't sure how to refute him.

"Yeah, but this is more..." you said.

"I know it is, but you don't want it to be more right now, do you? That was your point. That we should save deeper discussion until after the case."

You nodded, hoping he would maybe ease up now.

But his grin only grew more severe. He mimicked your nod.

"Alright. I think I could come around to accept that idea," he told you, "I just need some more convincing. Maybe you and Ryuzaki could persuade me."

You eyed him nervously, wondering what exactly it was he planned on as methods of temptation. Turning your head, you found that L was just as lost as you.

"How?" you asked.

"Show me. Show me what I missed out on when I was off proving my innocence. Show me what you can't just throw away. Show me what was worth risking everything for," he commanded.

Your lips parted as the thunder of your heart pounding boomed through your ears. His request was pretty obvious, but you just couldn't believe it. It didn't sound like anything Light would have ever asked for. But then again, he probably would have marked cheating down as something you'd never do.

You moved your eyes to L in an attempt to gauge his reaction. He seemed just as stunned and uncertain as you though.

"C'mon. Don't act all shy now. I doubt you two had any problems when you were doing it behind my back," Light said.

"Light," you pleaded, your lip jutting out a bit.

"What?" he asked, colder than before.

"Are you sure you want us to... do that?" you checked.

"You're only going to hurt yourself more," L added.

"I don't need you speaking on my wellbeing," he said to the other man before redirecting to you, "I'm sure. I want to see what I'll be getting out of sharing you. So go ahead. I'm sure you've been missing him since I came back."

A pit formed in your stomach. Your vision shifted from one guy to the other. It was true that you'd missed L a lot as of late, but this was not how you'd envisioned your reunion at all. You didn't want to lose either of them though, and if this is how you went about that, then so be it.

"You want me to..."

"Kiss him," he directed.

A spasm overtook your heart, but you suppressed it with a deep breath. You then turned to L. He was right there, seemingly waiting for you to take that step. With one last look at Light, you refocused completely on him.

You scooted a little closer to his side of the couch and started to lean in.

"Are you sure?" he murmured before your arrival.

You only nodded in response before pressing your lips to his.

Your eyes fluttered shut and then so did his. You melted into the exchange with no real issue. You hadn't really kissed L in what felt like forever. Even under the awkward circumstances, you wouldn't let a chance to have him like this slip through your fingers.

He cupped one of your cheeks with his hand, the other slid around your waist. His lips moved in tandem with yours. In no time, your mouths found a perfect rhythm to share. He guided you into his lap now, situating you between his thighs.

Your quiet moan spilled into the air. You ran your hands up his chest, fingers caressing his lean figure through his clothing. His hand on your back squeezed your flesh and pulled you closer.

"She has a spot on her back that makes her go crazy," Light offered from the sidelines.

"I know," L said back before locking you into another kiss.

You glanced over at Light with shyness clouding your eyes. He had leaned back into the corner of the couch and openly watched you make out with L. His legs were spread while his arms draped over the backing and arm rest.

Butterflies erupted in a constant stream in your belly. Being observed by one while being kissed by the other felt like nothing you'd ever experienced before.

If L minded as much as you, he didn't show it. He kept himself focused entirely on kissing you. His tongue traced the seam of your lips before sliding into your mouth and dancing with your own. The hand that had been massaging your back moved to grope your hips.

You whimpered for him before leaning into his body more. He took your eagerness for him in stride and cradled you in the perfect position to make out.

For a while, it felt just like before. Like it was just you and him. You wrapped your arms over his shoulders and reciprocated his movements like it was the most natural thing in the world.

After a while of kissing, his right set of fingers trailed down your body. They delved beneath the waistband of your sweatpants, finding their place between your thighs. Over your panties, they stroked your cunt. The sudden burst of stimulation made you gasp against his lips.

With another little whine, you parted your legs a few inches for him. His digits took advantage and worked with more skill to stroke your clit and tease your slit.

"Is this how it started?" Light asked, reminding you of his presence again.

Reluctantly, you pulled away from L and turned to look at him. With droopy eyes and puffy lips, you tried to register the question.

"Kinda," you mumbled.

Even though you were talking, L didn't stop petting your pussy. He only seemed more dedicated to the task. He hooked his chin over your shoulder and laid some kisses along your jawline.

More little noises of pleasure seeped out of you, but Light continued with his questions.

"Kind of? Did you just kiss the first time? Or did you let him touch you like this too? Maybe even more?" Light mocked.

"I didn't-" you started to defend, but L nipped at your throat, making you stutter. You whined before continuing, "It was just different."

"I'm sure," Light mocked.

You wanted to argue more, but L tugged the damp cloth of your underwear aside and slotted his fingers against your folds. He swirled them around your little bundle of nerves as his mouth worked on your neck. You arched your back, pressing your ass against his thigh.

"No more lying," he whispered near your ear, "Be honest about how good I make you feel."

Your eyes fluttered at the command while his fingertips continued toying with the most sensitive part of you. They rubbed a little more before sliding down and dipping into your entrance.

"It feels so good," you whimpered, sinking further into his embrace.

"That's right," he purred.

His fingers worked into your dripping hole with ease. He pumped two in and out, stroking your inner walls as they scissored inside you.

From the other end of the sofa, Light watched the outline of L's hand move beneath your pants. He studied the way your head fell back and how your shoulders relaxed. It was like being able to watch your shared intimate moments from another perspective. Anger and betrayal still brewed inside him, but they were becoming less volatile with every little squeak you made.

"I missed feeling this perfect pussy. So soft and wet for me," L whispered. He nosed at your neck for a moment before licking up to your earlobe.

You shuddered in response. "I missed you more," you breathed.

Your hips bucked against his wrist when his fingers curled within and brushed up against a sweet spot. You mewled without any regard for volume. The sensations he brought you were your only concern.

Light bit the inside of his bottom lip. His breathing became a little heavier. He had never been with anyone but you. And you'd never been with anyone but him until L. Seeing someone else explore you like this made him feel something he couldn't articulate.

While watching, he imagined a few months ago when your relationship wasn't in the best place. He envisioned the days his words left you with tears in your eyes and a broken heart thumping between your ribs. Those were the days that brought you to L. He tried picturing it now, you after work, finding comfort in the other man. Finding refuge from the one who was supposed to love you more than anyone in this world.

But Light did love you. Even after all of this, he was sure of it. And more than that, he still believed he was the best person for you. He'd known you forever after all. Longer than anyone else in his life or yours besides parents. When he looked at you these days, sometimes he still saw the girl who used to write her initials on the tips of his sneakers during recess. You'd get the same look in your eyes working on the case now that you used to get filling out study guides in school. When you laughed, it rang out the same, and when you cried, your lip quivered like it did the time you skinned your knee on the way to his house. 

He couldn't forget any of that even if this did hurt him worse than anything else he'd ever felt before, and he wouldn't let this thing with L take you away from him. He'd just have to hold out until you all caught Kira, and the two of you could move on.

The only thing he felt a little alarmed by right now was that holding out didn't seem like such a chore any more. Despite his pain, he couldn't deny the way his cock was filling out in his pants as he watched you get felt up and pleasured by someone else.

"My turn," he mumbled as he forced himself to return to his senses, "I want a turn with her before we share."

You blinked yourself back to reality as you felt his voice wedging between you and L. The man who'd been kneading your breasts while fingering you reluctantly pulled his digits out of your cunt and then removed his hand from your sweatpants. He gave you a few more gentle pecks to your throat before giving you a nudge back to your boyfriend.

Crawling towards Light, you didn't make it all the way there before his arms came out and dragged you close. His lips crashed against yours in an instant. Your noses bumped and his hands squeezed you tight. Despite the haste of it all, you had no problem matching his movements. You knew Light's body as well as you knew your own.

Your hand slid up into his hair, giving it a soft tug in the way you knew he liked. He moaned against your lips and kissed harder. Everything he was doing felt familiar, just at an increased volume.

"You're still mine," he whispered against your lips before making out with you in full again. He didn't give you a chance to respond before his mouth was back on yours.

You whined into the kisses, sinking into the cushions below you as he laid you out across them. His lips worked down over your neck in a similar pattern to L. He worked on marking the side of your throat the other man hadn't touched while his hands roamed your torso.

Squirming a little beneath him, your head tilted back against the couch, and you found yourself looking up at L. When your eyes met, his hand came out and stroked your cheek. He swiped his thumb back and forth over the curve of it.

"Can't have you forgetting about me," Light muttered between pecks to your neck.

"I didn't," you breathed. You wrapped your legs around his waist and tightened them.

He hummed in acknowledgement before rolling his hips against you, allowing you to feel his bulge grind between your thighs.

"Since you want us both, I'm gonna let you have us both," he whispered.

You turned your head and kissed along his cheek and temple. It didn't feel right saying 'thank you' to something like that, so you could only hope your touches would fill their place.

"Go sit in his lap. With your back against his chest," he commanded.

He then pulled off of you and allowed you to get up. Slowly, you rose off of your back and scooted in L's direction. He was ready to take you into his arms again. He positioned himself against the armrest of the couch and sat you on his lap like Light wanted. You could feel his stiff length poking against your ass as you did.

Once you were in place, Light leaned forward again and hooked his index fingers over the waistband of your pants. He pulled them down with your panties, leaving you exposed on top of L.

"Spread your legs, baby. I wanna see if you're ready," he said softly.

You obeyed and opened your thighs for him. L's hands dipped in and stroked the smooth skin on your inner legs, causing your cheeks to fill with heat again. Even though both men had seen you naked and felt every part of your body before, both of them doing it together was different.

Light's eyes trailed down your figure before landing on your center. They stared at the wetness gathered there, trying to judge if you could take them.

"Who knew you were so greedy? Almost soaked through your panties at the thought of two cocks at the same time," he mocked.

"At the same time?" you repeated. You knew you asked to be shared, but you didn't think he'd take it so literally.

"Mhm. You want us both, don't you? How else did you think this would work?" he smirked.

"I don't know. I thought you guys would like take turns or be on different sides or something..." you explained.

"No. If you want both, you're gonna really take both," he responded.

Shaking his head, he stood up and pulled his shirt off. L did the same behind you, letting it fall to the flood next to the couch. From there, Light unbuttoned his pants and let them crumple to the floor. He didn't show any awkwardness about revealing his body in front of another guy.

"Do you want your shirt off?" L asked, kissing the space behind your ear.

You nodded, and the both of you peeled it off your upper body before discarding it with his.

Light palmed himself over his boxers before sliding those down as well and letting his dick spring free. He gave his shaft a few lazy strokes while gazing at you. Below your body, L worked on pushing his jeans off and freeing himself from the confines of his pants.

"Think I'll let Ryuzaki have you first, and then I'll slide in too. I wanna see if you take him like you take me," he said.

L's dark eyes stared up at the other man. He didn't want to take orders from him, but then again, he couldn't really complain about the sentiment.

"Are you good with that?" Light asked, cocking his head while looking down at the man behind you.

"Why wouldn't I be?" he responded.

His arm wrapped around your waist, reaching down between your legs to rub at your clit a few more times.

"Are you ready, sweetheart?" he murmured to you in a much softer tone.

With nervous eyes, you nodded. You pressed your lips to his for a few more soft kisses. While you were occupied, he took the chance to adjust his position and line himself up between your legs. You felt the swollen head brush your entrance. The tip slid up through your folds, feeling your wetness before dragging back down.

Your heart pounded in your chest. This was really going to happen.

And then it did. He boosted his hips the slightest bit and popped it in. You whined as your walls fluttered, embracing his familiar length with ease.

He grunted and pushed forward. Slowly, his shaft entered you, sliding forward until he bottomed out. You let your head fall back onto his shoulder where you could nuzzle into his neck. His hands swept up over your curves and kneaded your malleable flesh.

Light watched from the same position, stroking himself as he watched someone else have you in a way he thought would forever only be for him.

"Does that feel good?" he breathed, "Does he know how to do it right? Just how you like it?"

A soft whimper puffed from your lips before you gave him a shy nod. L did know all the things you liked by now. He knew the perfect angle to rock his hips at and what speed you preferred. He knew how to make your mind melt out your ears by suckling on your pulse point. He knew all the dirty things to whisper in your ear that made you tighten up on him like a vise.

Light continued to observe. His eyes scanned over how L's hips began pumping into you. How his hands cradled your legs behind the knees. He listened for every wet squelch his cock brought out of you. Every hitched breath and whiny crack in your voice.

His length throbbed at the sight. It was the most fucked-up, perverse sense of pleasure he'd ever felt. It made him sick with lust. His hands trembled with the urge to reach out and interrupt, but he made himself wait.

He let L have a little more time with you. The other man sighed, nestling his face in the crook of your neck as he enjoyed the hot, tight euphoria wrapped around his cock.

Your eyes had fluttered shut after a few good nudges to your sweet spot. You lay against his chest, held up by his arms, totally pliable. Though even in your hazy state, you could feel Light's eyes bearing down on you, examining your every move.

But despite feeling his presence, it still sent a shockwave through you when he brushed the tip of his cock against your clit.

Your back arched off of the man beneath you as a sharp whine burst from your mouth. Smearing his sticky precum over your pulsing bud, he dragged the flushed end of his length back and forth. He moved at a slower pace than L. His movements only intended to tease you, not cause any true pleasure.

"L-Light," you moaned. You squirmed your hips, trying to entice him into giving you more.

His lips curled into a small smirk. "Hold still, babe," he chided, "I know patience isn't your strong suit, but you can wait a little more."

Whining again, you gyrated your hips a few more times. L groaned at the added stimulation; the motions worked your walls around him just right. He rutted up into you with more force, which only drew more noises from you.

Light took a deep breath, working himself up. He reached forward and grabbed your calves with precise fingers. His touch was gentle but calculated like it always was. Even in what was supposed to be the heat of passion, he made sure things played out according to his plans.

One of his hands dropped to guide his cock down to your entrance. A quiet moan escaped him as L's shaft brushed his sensitive ridge. He shuddered, but he didn't back away. He pushed with more intention and watched as you started to split open around him too.

A gasp tore through you. Your pussy burned as it struggled to take both of them. You writhed desperately, trying to find a position of reprieve. L came to a stop inside you and adjusted to hold onto your hips to keep you in place.

"Shhh, you're doing so good," he cooed while his digits rubbed small circles into your skin, "You can take it."

Light's jaw clenched as he ground his teeth. His breaths became more labored as he worked himself in all the way. It was so fucking tight. The feeling of L's dick pressed up against his own was also something he'd never felt before, but something he found himself really really liking.

"You wanted us to share," he grunted, "This is how it feels."

After a few moments, you started to settle again. Four sets of fingers coasted across your body, leaving little chills in their wake. The stretch between your thighs still stung, but pleasure began overriding it as L started moving again.

He thrust a few times, letting you get used to the sensation again. Then Light worked his hips back and forth. Your toes curled, and your breaths puffed out with broken whines in between.

Both of them found a rhythm that worked in tandem with the other. Grunts, groans, and sighs echoed all around you. Every inch of your body was in contact with one of them. Your head spun from the total overstimulation along with the ecstasy burning in the pit of your belly.

"Fuck... so much... feels like so much..." you babbled.

"Yeah? A little whore like you was made for it though," Light mocked.

Your eyes rolled back and you gushed around him. The words shot through with flaring sparks of bliss. In the past, Light could get a little bold with you sometimes, but never like that. He could see the effect his tone had on you, but he didn't make any move to lessen it. He only fucked into you harder.

"You're so pretty," L added from behind your ear, "You're being such a good girl for us."

With Light now holding your legs, he moved his hands to toy with your breasts again. He pinches and tweaks your nipples, getting you to recreate those cute little squirms from before.

"So fucking needy," Light taunted, "Can't even hold still."

"It's not my fault," you pouted.

L chuckled and kissed your ear, continuing to play with the tender nubs on your chest.

"It's alright, sweetheart. Feels good when you move like that," he soothed.

Another whiny sound of need flowed from your lips before you melted back against the man behind you. Coherent thoughts could no longer form in your head. Not when you felt so full. So fucking stretched to the limit.

Light could see you fading. He pumped himself in harder, his balls swinging and brushing against the base of L's cock. His rich eyes watched the man below you. He took in his slight changes in expression when you clamped around them. He noted how his eyes softened when you let out a little squeak.

After a few moments of his staring, L finally looked up at Light. He could tell he had something to say from the intensity in his gaze

"I thought you said we were friends," Light grunted, "Do friends fuck their friend's girlfriend behind his back?"

"I didn't lie. If I didn't consider you my friend, I wouldn't have hesitated to take her all for myself," L answered, calm in spite of the situation.

Your boyfriend's glare hardened, but a fire burned within him. He wasn't sure what it was. The carelessness? The challenge? He couldn't pinpoint it, yet something about what L said worked him closer to the edge. He felt the coils of release constricting within him.

 His focus shifted to you. He saw the way your head bobbled around as though you weren't even conscious. Reaching out, he grabbed your face. Your cheeks squished under the pressure of his fingertips, and your glossy eyes opened again.

"Sluts don't get to pass out, baby. Keep those pretty eyes open. Want you looking at me when you lose it," he said.

"Sorry..." you hummed as you came back to reality.

L's hands hadn't stopped groping at your tits. After Light finished talking, he swooped in with his gentler voice.

"Are you getting close? You gonna cum all over both of us?"

You mewled and nodded, harsh breaths leaving you. Seeing how eager you are, Light's hand released your jaw and found your cunt instead. His fingers roughly rubbed at your clit, ripping more cries out of you. He spit down onto your already soaked folds.

"Let go then," he directed, "Cum for us. Let's see you finish."

His commanding words struck you and spurred you onward towards the finish line. Your hips bucked as your body quivered with the need to explode.

You finally found release when both of them thrust in unison, striking the right spots to throw you over the edge. Your body rolled with the waves of pleasure crashing over you. You could feel their hands still on you. Their palms rubbed while their fingers caressed and teased you through it. Both of their breathing became stilted as you squeezed around them impossibly tight.

L was the first to let go and allow himself to ride out the high with you. He spilled himself inside you with a few jerks of his hips and a whine erupting from his mouth. Burying his face against your throat, his arms encircled you tight.

Light kept thrusting, working you both through it. He hit his own high as you both began to come down from yours. A strangled groan fell from his lips. He tilted his head back before leaning forward and collapsing into your chest. His hips rutted forward, pumping the last of his spend into you.

It was a little difficult with Light's added weight on top of you, but L managed to wriggle his hips and pull himself out. As soon as his length popped out, you felt the stinging subside almost instantly. A dull ache replaced it. You didn't imagine walking anywhere far for at least the next twenty-four hours. Their shared loads leaked from you, seeping out around your boyfriend's softening length.

L was the most lucid of the three of you. With care, he shifted his position and held you against his chest from the side. Light still lied with his head over your pounding heart. Eventually, he eased his cock out of you. He didn't worry about the mess right now. You all could clean up in a little bit.

He turned his head to look up at you. His eyes met yours, and for the first time since he found out, he looked more hurt than anything else. You studied the expression before stroking his cheek and planting a tender peck on his lips.

"I'm sorry," you whispered.

He didn't say anything back. Instead, he closed the centimeter gap again and kissed you once more. The few seconds your lips were connected could feel like none of this mess was real. When your skin was on his, it was just you and him.

Your fingers threaded into his soft hair as L's digits rubbed your back. He sighed at the gentle touch, allowing himself to enjoy it for a few moments before he rose and leaned back.

Rubbing a hand over his face, he looked at the two of you.

"So... you really want to try and just... do this? Until we find Kira?" he asked.

"If it's ok with you..." you replied. You half expected him to laugh in your face before walking out. But he doesn't do anything so bitter.

He nodded. Worse than anything else, you could see on his face he really did intend on trying. He was going to try his hardest at this for you.

You reached forward and took his hand, guiding him closer to you again. "We can figure it out as we go. And then when we're done, we can all decide what to do together," you offered. You glanced up at L to make sure he was ok with that too, but the quick nod he gave you told you he was.

"Alright," Light agreed.

As a seal, you gave them each a soft kiss before smiling a little. Once you began to settle back in and grabbed the remote to change what played on the tv, both men's eyes found each other's in a silent, temporary truce.

Then Light looked to you again.

"Maybe you'd wanna play that game again?" he suggested, trying not to seem too soft about it.

Your eyes lit up, and you straightened out a little. "That would be so fun. Maybe you guys will be more relaxed about it this time," you teased.

He rolled his eyes and shook his head but didn't protest too much.

"You could try out that thing I told you with the shell. Maybe you'll win this time around," L added to Light as you got up to fix your clothes and start up the game.

"Maybe. You can't finish first every time, you know," he responded.

They both settled back into the couch after readjusting their own clothing. The familiar music started up on the tv as you handed them both controllers. Even though the situation between the three of you wasn't completely resolved, for the first time in months, you didn't feel the weight of secrecy across your shoulders.

[fangdokja]

Two hearts, one unspoken promise—forever best friends.

❤︎ Synopsis. Two childhood friends, inseparable since kindergarten, navigate the ups and downs of growing up, their bond blossoming into a deep, unwavering connection that feels like home. As they face life’s challenges together, they discover that their friendship might just be the most enduring love of all.

♡ Book. World Ablaze (WA): For You, I'd Burn the World.

♡ Pairing. Yandere! Light Yagami x Fem. Reader

♡ Novella. In the Name of Love - Part 1

♡ Word Count. 7,947

♡ TW. psychological and emotional trauma, loss of loved ones, abandonment issues, angst + tragedy, implied family issues, depression and mental health issues

♡ A/N. This is a request, but I have not yet fulfilled the full request (hence the lack of proof of request). When it comes to long-form content, it feels so wrong in my brain for my writing to not set up the atmosphere and vibes properly. It don't feel right. And anyways, this Part 1 is genuinely one of my LIGHTEST and legitimately wholesome works among all my writings haha. Wow first time posting wholesome yandere content? ahahhaahh. This is ACTUALLY SO GOOD. I COOKED GUYS (both in Part 1 and 2). ahhhhh. I WANTED TO INCLUDE PART 1 AND 2 TOGETHER. But. It's 15k+ together already ahhh. Also, important to note. Unlike my usual long form content, the 'introduction' before actually dark + nsfw yandere centric content may come after Part 2 or 3. WHAT. Did this become slower burn than the Yandere! Ex-boyfriend??? Bro, it's because I just had to include the childhood trope arc. Seriously.

Light Yagami was five years old when his family moved into the tidy, tree-lined neighborhood. His parents, proud and proper, spent days meticulously unpacking and arranging the house while Light obediently helped, though his mind was preoccupied with the mystery of what lay beyond their new front door.

“Light, dear,” his mother said, kneeling to his level, “why don’t you go introduce yourself to the neighbors? There’s a family next door with a little girl about your age.”

“All right,” he replied with his usual crisp, confident tone. Even at five, Light was the embodiment of charm and discipline, traits his parents were immensely proud of. He tugged on his neatly ironed shirt and marched toward the house next door, ready to dazzle the neighbors with his impeccable manners.

The house was a bit chaotic in contrast to the Yagami’s orderly new home. The lawn was slightly overgrown, and a lone bicycle lay toppled in the driveway. Light’s tiny hand knocked on the door with perfect rhythm—polite but assertive.

The door creaked open, and a woman with a wide, warm smile greeted him. “Oh, hello! You must be the Yagami boy! Aren’t you handsome?” She called over her shoulder, “Our new neighbors are here! Come say hi!”

Light’s chest puffed with pride at the compliment. “Good afternoon, ma’am. My name is Light Yagami. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

The woman’s laughter was bright as she introduced herself in return. “What a little gentleman! Please hold on. Let me call my daughter.”

She turned and called your name. Light heard the sound of something—or someone—dragging across the floor. Then you appeared.

Tiny, smaller than Light had expected, with oversized pajamas hanging loosely off your sickly frame. Your hair was messy, your expression vacant, and you held a stuffed black kitten in one hand as though it were a limp, lifeless thing. But the most striking part of you was your eyes—dark, hollow, and uninterested, like you’d already seen the end of the world and decided it wasn’t worth commenting on.

Light blinked. This was not the bright and cheerful playmate he had envisioned.

“Say hello to our neighbor, sweetie,” your mother said in a sugary tone. “His name is Light.”

You said nothing. Your gaze drifted lazily toward him, then back to the floor. You swayed slightly, as though gravity was a suggestion rather than a rule.

Light cleared his throat and stepped forward, undeterred. “Hi,” he said, flashing his most winning smile. “I’m Light. What’s your name?”

You stared at him for an uncomfortably long moment. Then, in a voice so small it was nearly a whisper, you muttered your name.

“That’s a nice name,” Light said, his tone bright and rehearsed. “Do you want to play?”

You blinked, slowly. Then you turned to your mother and said, “I’m going back to bed.”

Light watched, dumbfounded, as you shuffled back into the house, dragging your stuffed black kitten behind you.

Your mother laughed nervously. “She’s a bit shy. And... well, she’s been under the weather a lot, poor thing.”

“That’s all right,” Light said, his voice cheerful despite his confusion. He was used to people liking him. This was new.

———

Light didn’t give up easily. Over the next few weeks, he made it his mission to befriend you. He knocked on your door nearly every day, always with a new idea:

“Do you want to play tag?”

“I brought my soccer ball!”

“I found a cool bug. Do you want to see it?”

Your responses ranged from blank stares to monosyllabic grunts. Sometimes you didn’t answer at all, leaving Light standing awkwardly on the porch while your mother assured him that you were just tired.

One day, Light found you sitting on the front steps of your house, your stuffed black kitten in your lap. He approached cautiously, as though you were a skittish animal.

“Hi,” he said, sitting down beside you. “What are you doing?”

You didn’t look at him. “Thinking about how everything dies.”

Light blinked. “Oh. Um... why?”

You shrugged. “Because it’s true.”

Light frowned, unsure how to respond. After a moment, he said, “Well, yeah, I guess everything does die eventually. But that’s why we have to make the most of the time we have, right?”

You finally looked at him, your expression unreadable. “Do you really believe that?”

“Of course I do,” Light said firmly. “I want to do something great with my life. Don’t you?”

You tilted your head, considering this. “I don’t know. I guess I just want to sleep.”

Light laughed, a genuine, bright sound that startled you. “You’re funny,” he said. “I like that.”

You didn’t respond, but for the first time, you didn’t immediately walk away. Light took it as a small victory.

From that day on, you and Light fell into an odd sort of friendship.

He would drag you outside to play, and you would sit under a tree and watch him with a mixture of boredom and mild amusement. He would talk about his dreams and ambitions, and you would listen quietly, occasionally offering a dry, morbid comment that made him laugh despite himself.

Light Yagami, the star of the class, and you, the apathetic enigma, were an unlikely pair. But somehow, it worked.

────────────

The first day of kindergarten marked yet another stark contrast between Light and you. While he marched into the classroom like a young prince, his satchel impeccably organized and his confidence radiating, you shuffled in ten minutes late, pajama top peeking out under your sweater, and bedhead that defied gravity.

Light glared at you from his seat as the teacher politely redirected you to the cubby area. “You forgot your backpack,” she said, her tone strained with the kind of forced patience adults use for particularly hopeless cases.

You shrugged. “I don’t need it.”

Light’s hand shot into the air. “Miss Tanaka, I can share my supplies with her today.”

“Oh, what a kind offer, Light!” Miss Tanaka beamed.

Your disinterested gaze flickered to Light as you slid into the seat next to him. “You’re too much,” you mumbled, barely audible.

Light leaned over, his smile tight. “You’re embarrassing yourself. Do you even want to be here?”

“Not really,” you replied, laying your head on your arms. “But my mom said I had to come.”

Light huffed. “Fine. At least try not to sleep through everything. You’ll fail if you don’t pay attention.”

“Fail what?” you asked, voice muffled against the desk. “It’s kindergarten. What are they gonna do? Hold me back from learning colors?”

Light groaned, already regretting sitting next to you.

———

It didn’t get better. Every day, Light arrived prepared, polished, and ready to dazzle the teacher, while you dragged yourself in like you’d just crawled out of a cave. During lessons, he’d sit upright, hand raised with every answer, while you doodled spirals in the margins of the workbook he had to open for you.

“You’re not stupid,” he hissed during snack time one day. “I’ve seen your library. Who hides research papers under their bed? You could be at the top of the class if you tried.”

You tilted your head at him, crunching on your apple. “And what do I get for being at the top of the class? A gold star?”

“You get respect,” Light said, his voice rising. “You get opportunities. You build the foundation for a successful future.”

You shrugged. “I’m not really into respect or opportunities. I’m more into naps.”

Light clutched his juice box like it was the last thread tethering him to sanity. “Do you realize how frustrating you are? People would kill to be as smart as you.”

“Okay, so let them kill me,” you replied. “Then they can have it.”

He blinked, stunned. “You can’t just say things like that.”

“Why not? It’s true.”

Light opened his mouth to argue, then thought better of it. “You’re impossible,” he muttered, stabbing his straw into his juice box with unnecessary force.

———

One afternoon, Light cornered you on the playground after recess. You’d been lying under the slide, watching clouds with your stuffed kitten perched on your chest.

“Explain this,” he demanded, holding up a scrap of paper he’d found in your desk. Scrawled on it was a complex math equation, solved perfectly.

You squinted at him. “What?”

“This! You did this in, like, ten seconds during free time. Why don’t you do this in class?”

You shrugged, propping yourself up on your elbows. “Class is boring. I already know all that stuff.”

“Then prove it,” Light snapped. “Get the answers right during lessons. Participate.”

“Why?”

“Because you’ll fail otherwise!”

You sighed, exasperated. “Light, kindergarten isn’t that deep.”

“It is if you want to be taken seriously,” he shot back. “What if people think you’re dumb?”

“They already do,” you said, stretching lazily. “Doesn’t bother me.”

“Well, it bothers me!” Light exclaimed. “You’re my...my first friend, and you’re embarrassing both of us.”

You raised an unamused eyebrow, staring at him. “Friend?”

Light flushed. “Yes. Unfortunately.”

For the first time that day, you showed some form of emotion—a small, amused quirk of your lips. “Wow, that’s a lot of effort to impress a lazy failure like me. You sure you’re not the embarrassing one?”

Light threw his hands up, stalking off. “Unbelievable,” he muttered. “Completely hopeless.”

You watched him go, your smirk lingering. “You’re funny when you’re mad,” you said to your stuffed kitten. It didn’t reply, but you imagined it agreed.

────────────

Light Yagami was on a mission.

Every morning, he’d march over to your house, perfectly polished shoes clacking against the pavement, carrying a spare set of pencils and a stack of workbooks just in case you’d “forgotten” yours again. He’d ring the doorbell with an air of determination that would make even seasoned professionals cower.

Your mother would answer, always frazzled and apologetic. “Oh, Light, thank you so much for your help! She’s...well, you know how she is.”

Light offered a tight-lipped smile, his patience stretched thin but holding. “It’s no problem, ma’am. I’m happy to help.”

And then he’d march up to your room, where you’d be sprawled on your bed, half-asleep, clutching that perpetually limp black kitten.

“Get up,” he’d order, pulling open your curtains to let the sunlight in. “You have a spelling test today, and if you fail it, I’ll—”

“You’ll what?” you mumbled, turning over to face the wall.

“I’ll never forgive you,” he snapped, grabbing your arm and hauling you upright.

You blinked at him groggily. “You’re dramatic.”

“And you’re insufferable,” he retorted. “Now get dressed. You’re not walking into class looking like you just rolled out of a dumpster again.”

———

It took weeks of constant pestering, but eventually, you caved—mostly out of guilt.

One evening, as Light sat at your kitchen table drilling you on basic addition, you noticed how tired he looked. His hair, usually immaculate, was slightly mussed, and his usually confident posture had a slight slump.

“Why do you care so much?” you asked, interrupting his lecture on number lines.

Light blinked, startled by your uncharacteristic question. “Because someone has to. You clearly don’t.”

You frowned, fiddling with the edge of your worksheet. “You could just...not.”

Light sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You’re my friend. Friends help each other.”

Your stomach twisted with something unfamiliar. Was it guilt? Or...gratitude? Either way, you muttered, “Fine. I’ll try.”

Light’s head snapped up. “What?”

“I said I’ll try. Don’t make a big deal out of it.”

For the first time that day, Light smiled—a genuine, relieved smile that made your chest ache a little. “Good. That’s all I ask.”

———

To everyone’s shock (and to Light’s immense relief), you barely passed your next test. The teacher, Miss Tanaka, called the class to attention, holding up your paper as if it were a trophy.

“Everyone, let’s give a round of applause for our most improved student!”

You wanted to disappear into your chair as the class clapped, but Light sat next to you, beaming with pride as though he’d aced the test.

During recess, your parents showed up unannounced, their faces glowing with joy. Your mom hugged you tight, tears streaming down her face. “You passed! My baby passed!”

“It was one test,” you muttered, mortified. “And I barely passed.”

“Doesn’t matter!” your dad exclaimed, pulling out his phone to take a picture of you holding the crumpled test paper. “This is going on the fridge!”

Light stood off to the side, looking smug. “You’re welcome,” he muttered under his breath.

────────────

One crisp autumn afternoon, you and Light sat together in the corner of the library. He was meticulously highlighting passages in his textbook, while you doodled lazily on a scrap of paper. The silence between you was companionable, save for the occasional scratch of a pencil.

After a while, you set your pencil down and leaned back in your chair, staring at him. He didn’t look up, but you knew he noticed.

“What?” he asked, his tone as sharp as the lines he underlined.

“Why are you doing this?” you asked bluntly.

He blinked, finally meeting your gaze. “What do you mean?”

“This,” you said, gesturing vaguely to the books, the papers, the entire setup. “You could’ve chosen literally anyone else to help. Someone smart, someone who wouldn’t drive you insane. But you chose me. Why?”

Light frowned, setting his highlighter down. “You’re my friend.”

“That’s not an answer,” you said flatly. “You made that choice before we were friends. So why?”

He sighed, leaning back and crossing his arms. “Why do you think?”

“I have theories,” you said, counting them off on your fingers. “One: you’re trying to make yourself look good by being the hero who saves the hopeless case. Two: you want to use me somehow, maybe turn me into some kind of pawn. Three: you just pity me. Or four...you’re a masochist who likes torturing yourself.”

Light’s lips twitched, though he fought to keep his expression neutral. “Those are some dark theories.”

“You’re not denying any of them,” you pointed out.

He sighed again, rubbing his temples. “Fine. If you want the truth, I’ll tell you.” His gaze turned serious, his eyes locking onto yours. “It’s because you’re...different.”

“Different?” you echoed, raising an eyebrow. “That’s vague.”

“I mean...the way you see things,” he explained, his voice softening. “Most kids our age don’t say the things you do. They don’t talk about how they’d let someone kill them if it meant they’d get something out of it. Or how they don’t care about respect or opportunities. You’re...disconnected from everything. It’s like none of it matters to you. Not even your own life.”

You stiffened slightly, his words hitting a little too close to home. “So you think I’m broken or something?”

“Not broken,” Light said carefully. “Just...strange. Most kids don’t think about death the way you do. They don’t talk about it so casually. And they definitely don’t seem like they’re one bad day away from giving up completely.”

You swallowed, looking away. “Maybe they just don’t say it out loud.”

“Maybe,” he admitted. “But you did. And it made me curious. I wanted to know why. I still do.”

“Curious?” you repeated, turning back to him. “That’s it? That’s why you’ve been dragging me out of bed and making me study? Because you’re curious?”

“Well, at first, yes,” he admitted, a faint smirk playing at his lips. “But then you started growing on me. You’re frustrating, sure, but you’re not...hopeless. You’re just someone who hasn’t been given the right reason to try yet.”

You stared at him, the weight of his words sinking in. “You’re weird, you know that?”

Light chuckled softly. “Coming from you, I’ll take that as a compliment.”

For a moment, the two of you just sat there, the quiet of the library wrapping around you like a blanket. Finally, you broke the silence. “So what’s your endgame? What do you want out of this?”

He tilted his head thoughtfully. “Honestly? I want to see what you’ll do if someone actually believes in you.”

His words hung in the air, heavier than you’d expected. You didn’t respond, unsure if you even could. But for the first time, you found yourself wondering what it would feel like to prove him right.

────────────

Over the years, Light’s persistence and your reluctant tolerance had blossomed into something neither of you could have predicted: an unshakable friendship. From kindergarten to grade school, you and Light Yagami had become inseparable—a fact that delighted your parents and baffled your classmates.

“You two are like an old married couple,” your mom teased one afternoon as Light sat at your kitchen table, carefully outlining a study plan for your next science test.

You gagged dramatically. “Gross, Mom. I’d rather marry my stuffed kitten.”

Light didn’t even look up. “The kitten has better manners, anyway.”

Your dad chimed in from the living room. “You sure about that, son? You’ve spent more time here than at your own house. Feels like you’re already part of the family.”

Light flushed, but he composed himself quickly. “It’s only because I need peace and quiet to work, Sir. Your house is quieter than mine.”

“Oh, so that’s why you’re here all the time,” you said, rolling your eyes. “I thought you just liked annoying me.”

“That too,” Light quipped, giving you a smug smirk.

———

Your parents weren’t wrong. Despite the bickering, the teasing, and the endless sarcastic remarks, the two of you were practically attached at the hip.

Weekends were spent either at your house or his, depending on whose parents caved first to the persistent question: “Can they stay over?” His room was always spotless, the air smelling faintly of fresh linen. Yours, on the other hand, was a cluttered mess of books, art supplies, and random knickknacks you refused to throw away.

Light always insisted on tidying up when he was over. “You’re a walking disaster,” he’d grumble, picking up a pile of papers. “How do you even live like this?”

You’d shrug, tossing a pillow at him. “I thrive in chaos. Unlike you, Mr. Spreadsheet-for-Everything.”

Still, for all his complaints, he never stopped coming over.

———

Trips with both families were another routine you’d both grown used to. Your parents and his got along swimmingly, exchanging recipes, stories, and laughs over bonfires and picnics while the two of you wandered off to do your own thing.

One summer vacation, both families rented cabins by a lake. Light had been determined to teach you how to skip stones—a task that proved far more difficult than he’d anticipated.

“You’re not even trying!” he groaned as your stone plopped into the water with a pitiful splash.

“I am trying,” you protested, flopping onto the grass. “You just have unreasonable expectations.”

“It’s basic physics,” he argued. “Angle, spin, and force. That’s all it takes.”

“Then you do it,” you challenged, crossing your arms.

Light rolled his eyes, picked up a stone, and launched it across the water in a perfect arc. It skipped five times before sinking.

“Show-off,” you muttered, though a small smile tugged at your lips.

———

Study dates became an unspoken tradition. Whether at your house, his, or the library, you’d sit side by side, each absorbed in your respective work. Light would meticulously annotate his textbooks, while you alternated between actually studying and scribbling doodles in the margins of your notes.

“You could at least pretend to focus,” Light said one evening, glancing at the tiny cartoon you’d drawn of him glaring at a stack of books.

“I am focused,” you replied, grinning as you added a speech bubble that read, “Don’t breathe near my books!”

Despite his exasperation, Light always made sure you understood the material. He had a way of breaking down complex topics into something manageable, and while you’d never admit it out loud, you’d grown to appreciate his efforts.

———

Free time was a mix of quiet companionship and playful banter. Video game marathons often ended with Light grumbling about your reckless strategies, while you’d laugh at his over-calculated moves. Reading sessions were even quieter—Light engrossed in a novel while you skimmed through whatever caught your interest.

“Do you ever read anything normal?” he asked once, holding up your dog-eared copy of a horror anthology.

“Do you ever read anything fun?” you shot back, gesturing to his thick political science book.

———

And, it's been like that, a normal friendship of two childhood friends.

But, after spending time with you constantly.

Light could tell you always kept him at a distance.

Even when you showed lazy smiles and seemingly emotional outbursts, nothing you did seemed... real. At least nothing genuine.

It annoyed him more than he cared to admit.

────────────

It was the same day every year.

For as long as Light Yagami could remember, you disappeared on this exact date, slipping away as if the world itself no longer had a claim on you. No calls, no notes, no explanation. You’d vanish without warning, leaving behind nothing but questions and silence. It was frustrating, baffling, and for Light, who prided himself on always knowing the answers, intolerable.

He’d tried everything—calling you relentlessly, asking your parents (who seemed strangely tight-lipped about it), even checking the places you frequented. But every year, no matter how determined he was, you eluded him.

This year, however, was going to be different.

Light sat at his desk, staring at the calendar with a furrowed brow. He had spent the last week piecing together fragments of information, retracing your habits, looking for any clue that might give him an edge. The truth gnawed at the edges of his mind—this day was important to you. It wasn’t just another day.

It was your birthday.

And yet, you always spent it alone.

———

When the day arrived, Light was prepared. He skipped school, opting instead to scour the neighborhood, the nearby park, the library—every possible place you might hide. Hours passed, and frustration simmered beneath his calm façade. The rain that had started as a drizzle was now a relentless downpour, soaking him to the bone as he wandered.

It wasn’t until late afternoon that he found himself near the outskirts of town, a forgotten area filled with rusting machinery and abandoned warehouses. Light almost dismissed it—why would you come here?—but something compelled him to look closer.

And then he saw you.

Huddled under the sagging roof of a dilapidated warehouse, you sat clutching your worn black kitten stuffed toy. The sight of you stopped him cold. You weren’t crying, but the emptiness in your eyes sent a chill through him. It was the same look you had when he first met you—hollow, weary, like the weight of the world rested squarely on your small shoulders.

Light didn’t approach immediately. For the first time, he hesitated, unsure of how to close the distance between you. The rain thundered against the metal roof, drowning out the sound of his shallow breaths. Something about the scene felt fragile, as though one wrong move might shatter whatever thread kept you grounded.

Finally, he stepped forward, moving carefully so as not to startle you. When he reached the small, makeshift shelter, he crouched beside you, his school uniform drenched, water dripping from his hair.

“You’re going to get sick sitting out here,” he said quietly, his voice steady despite the turmoil churning in his chest.

You didn’t respond. Your fingers clung tightly to the stuffed toy, knuckles white, but your gaze didn’t lift from the ground.

Light didn’t press further. Instead, he slipped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest. The space was cramped, but he adjusted, shielding you from the worst of the rain that still managed to seep through the cracks. His embrace was firm yet gentle, radiating warmth despite his soaked clothing.

For a long moment, neither of you spoke. He could feel the faint tremble in your frame, the shallow rise and fall of your chest. Light’s jaw clenched as he held you tighter, willing his presence to do what words couldn’t.

He didn’t ask why you were here. He didn’t ask what had happened. Those questions could wait. Right now, all that mattered was keeping you close, anchoring you to something steady.

“You don’t have to tell me,” he murmured, his voice low but steady. “But I’m here, okay? I’ll always be here.”

You didn’t respond, but your grip on the stuffed kitten loosened slightly, your fingers brushing against the fabric of his sleeve. It wasn’t much, but to Light, it was enough.

Minutes stretched into an hour, the rain showing no signs of letting up. Light’s teeth chattered as the cold seeped into his skin, but he didn’t move. He couldn’t. Not when you were like this.

He rested his chin lightly on top of your head, his eyes closing as he focused on the steady rhythm of your breathing. “I hate seeing you like this,” he whispered, more to himself than to you. “You don’t have to be alone. Not ever.”

———

The rain continued its relentless rhythm, pattering against the warped metal roof above you. The cold seeped into Light’s skin, but he paid it no mind. His focus was entirely on you—on the small, trembling frame in his arms and the fragile silence that surrounded you.

And then, for the first time, he saw it.

A single tear slid down your cheek, blending with the rain before it could fall to the ground. You didn’t sob. You didn’t even make a sound. The tears seemed to escape against your will, slipping out silently as if they’d been held back for too long.

Light’s breath hitched. He had never seen you cry before. Not once in all the years he had known you. You were always the one who laughed mockingly at his exasperation, who messed with him with your messy habits and lazy smile. But now, the person in his arms seemed like a stranger—someone hollow, distant, and impossibly fragile.

His arms tightened around you instinctively, pulling you closer to shield you from the cold and rain. He felt an ache in his chest, a helpless frustration that he couldn’t name. He wanted to ask—wanted to demand—what had brought you here, what had hurt you so deeply. But the moment was too delicate. He couldn’t risk pushing you further away.

Instead, he spoke softly, his voice barely audible over the rain. “You’re freezing,” he murmured, his tone gentle. “Let me keep you warm, okay?”

You didn’t respond, your gaze still fixed on the stuffed black kitten in your hands. Light’s eyes flickered to the toy, the one you always carried with you no matter where you went. He’d teased you about it countless times, calling you childish for holding onto it like a lifeline. You’d always deflected with a laugh, saying something about how it was “just a habit” or “blessed.”

But now, as he watched you clutch it with a desperation he hadn’t seen before, Light wondered if there was more to the story.

He shifted slightly, adjusting his position so he could better shield you from the rain. His movements were deliberate, careful not to startle you. “You always carry that thing,” he said softly, his voice laced with a warmth he rarely used. “I used to think it was just because you liked it. But…” He trailed off, unsure of how to finish the thought.

You didn’t look at him. Your fingers tightened around the kitten, its worn fur darkened by the rain. Light swallowed, resisting the urge to press further. Instead, he leaned his head slightly against yours, his voice barely above a whisper.

“It’s okay,” he said. “You don’t have to say anything. I just… I’m here. That’s all.”

He could feel the faint tremble in your frame, the quiet, unsteady rhythm of your breaths. The rain poured on, but Light stayed where he was, holding you as though his presence alone could chase away whatever darkness had brought you here.

“You’re not alone,” he murmured, his voice soft but steady. “Not while I’m here.”

Still, you didn’t speak. Your focus remained on the stuffed kitten, and Light felt a pang of frustration—not at you, but at his own inability to reach you. He wanted to fix this, to take away whatever was hurting you, but he didn’t know how.

So he stayed quiet, his arms steady around you, offering you the only comfort he could. His voice, when he spoke again, was softer than before.

“When you’re ready,” he said, his words gentle, “you can tell me. Or not. It’s up to you.”

Your shoulders relaxed just a fraction, and though you still didn’t speak, Light took it as a sign that his words had reached you, even if only a little.

He stayed there with you under the cramped shelter, the rain soaking through his clothes, his heart heavy with unspoken questions. But for now, he focused on keeping you close, on being the steady presence you needed.

Because whatever it was that haunted you, whatever it was that had brought you to this place, he wasn’t going to let it take you away. Not now. Not ever.

———

You sat there, clutching the black kitten stuffed toy tightly, your expression blank and weary. Light stayed silent, his arms still wrapped around you, his mind whirring with unspoken questions. Then, at last, you spoke.

“Kuro’s dead.”

The words were quiet, devoid of emotion, but they pierced through the air like a knife. Light blinked, momentarily caught off guard. Kuro? Who was Kuro? He had his theories—the kitten stuffed toy, perhaps—but he didn’t interrupt. He waited, sensing that you had more to say.

“It’s stupid,” you added, staring down at the toy in your lap, your voice flat and almost detached.

Light didn’t move, his arms steady around you, letting you take your time.

You cried silently, tears slipping down your cheeks without a sound, mixing with the rainwater that clung to your face. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, you continued, your words halting and broken.

“Don’t… don’t tell anyone,” you murmured, your voice barely audible. “But… I’m not close with my parents. At all.”

Light’s eyes widened slightly, but he didn’t speak. He only held you closer, letting you keep going.

“I don’t… I don’t even like them that much,” you admitted, your voice so soft he had to strain to hear. “I respect them. I’m thankful for what they’ve done, I guess… they’re humble, and they’ve done well for themselves. But…” Your voice wavered slightly, though it still carried that hollow tone. “I don’t love them. Not really.”

You paused, gripping the stuffed kitten tighter, as though drawing strength from its presence.

“I had one friend,” you said, the words trembling just slightly. “Before you.”

Light’s chest tightened at that. He didn’t speak, but his gaze softened, his arms shifting slightly to shield you more from the rain.

“A small kitten. I found him… Kuro. Tiny. Weak. Just like me.” You took a shaky breath, your tone still muted but tinged with a deep sadness. “I took care of him for years. Before I met you.”

You stopped again, your gaze distant, focused entirely on the stuffed kitten in your hands. “He… he kept me company. More than my parents ever did. Gave me more love than I’ve ever had.”

Light felt his throat tighten at your words, but he stayed silent, letting you continue at your own pace.

“But one day… one day, he disappeared.” Your voice cracked, and Light’s arms instinctively tightened around you, his silent way of telling you he was there. “I… I never found out why. I searched for him everywhere. I still do.”

Another tear slipped down your cheek, your expression still blank, your voice barely above a whisper.

Your hands clutched the black kitten stuffed toy tighter, your knuckles turning white. “Kuro… he loved me. I know he did. And I loved him.” Your voice broke. “But I never knew what happened to him.”

You paused, the silence heavy between you, before you finally spoke again, the words soft but heavy with meaning.

“It was on this day,” you said, your voice trembling slightly. “My birthday. The day I found him… and the day I lost him.”

Light’s heart ached at the sight of you, so small and broken, clutching that stuffed kitten like it was the last piece of Kuro you had left. He wanted to say something, to comfort you, but he knew words wouldn’t fix this. So instead, he held you tighter, leaning his head gently against yours.

The rain continued to fall, but in that small, cramped space, Light made a silent vow. He didn’t know how, but he would make sure you never felt this kind of pain again. He wouldn’t let you be alone—not on this day, not on any day.

For now, though, all he could do was stay by your side, his quiet presence a promise that he wasn’t going anywhere.

———

The rain poured down relentlessly, the chill seeping into your skin despite the tight, makeshift cover Light had helped you take refuge under. You still hadn’t moved much, your gaze locked on the black kitten stuffed toy clutched tightly in your hands. You were out of it—emotionally drained and distant, like you were too far away to notice anything around you.

Light stayed close, his arms still wrapped protectively around you, but this time, he gently reached for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. His grip was firm but not forceful, a silent reminder that he was there.

You didn’t react. Not to the touch, not to the warmth. Your fingers remained limp in his grasp, as though nothing around you mattered.

After a long moment of silence, Light spoke softly, his voice steady and sure despite the emotions simmering beneath the surface. “I’m not going to leave you.”

There was no reaction at first, just the quiet sound of rain pattering against the warehouse roof. Then, finally, you murmured, your voice flat and resigned, “You don’t have to say that.”

Light frowned, but he stayed silent as you continued, the words coming slowly, emotionlessly. “I won’t be mad if you leave. Even if it’s you. I’m used to it. People always leave, eventually.”

The casualness of your words stung, like they’d been spoken countless times before. Light’s grip on your hand tightened briefly before he let out a low, frustrated sigh.

And then, without warning, he flicked your forehead—sharp enough to sting but not enough to hurt.

You winced, glaring at him in offense as you finally snapped out of your daze. “Ow! What was that for?”

“That,” Light said, his expression firm but his tone softer than usual, “is for saying something so stupid.”

You opened your mouth to argue, but he cut you off, his eyes narrowing slightly. “You don’t get to decide that I’ll leave, or that anyone else will. And you especially don’t get to act like it doesn’t matter if I do. Don’t put words in my mouth.”

You glared at him, the tears still slipping down your cheeks betraying the anger in your eyes. “It’s not stupid. It’s realistic—”

Light interrupted again, this time by pulling you closer, his free arm wrapping around you securely. “Stop,” he said, his voice quieter now, though no less firm. “You’re my best friend. Or did you forget I existed?”

You blinked at him, your lips parting in a faint protest, but no words came out.

“Too stuck in your own bubble to notice anything?” he continued, his tone softening just enough to take the sting out of his words. “Do you know how frustrating that is?”

You looked away, uncomfortable under his gaze, but he didn’t let you pull back. Instead, he gave your hand a gentle squeeze, intertwining your fingers even tighter.

“And though it’s embarrassing to say,” he muttered, his cheeks faintly pink but his expression sincere, “I love you. You’re my best friend, and I’m not going anywhere. So don’t say things like that, okay?”

You glanced up at him, caught off guard by the uncharacteristic vulnerability in his words. For a moment, the faintest flicker of something broke through the haze clouding your mind—something warm, something soft.

Light sighed, brushing a strand of wet hair away from your face before resting his forehead lightly against yours. “I mean it,” he said quietly. “So stop acting like it doesn’t matter.”

You didn’t respond, but you didn’t pull away either. You stayed there, silent and motionless, as Light held your hand a little tighter, his warmth chasing away some of the chill. For the first time in a long time, you didn’t feel so alone.

———

You clutched the black kitten stuffed toy even closer, holding it as if it were the only thing grounding you to the present. Yet, you didn’t resist when Light pulled you closer, his arms wrapping securely around you, his warmth seeping into your cold, damp frame.

Light buried his face in your shoulder, inhaling the subtle, familiar scent of you that always lingered—a soft, flowery fragrance that felt uniquely you. For a moment, his tension eased. He could feel the faint rhythm of your breathing, slow and steady, a sign that you weren’t as distant as before.

When he finally lifted his head, he noticed the shift in your expression. You weren’t out of it anymore—your gaze was clear, steady, and focused. He stared at you, his face inches away from yours. There had been moments before where you were this close, but something about now… felt different.

His eyes lingered on you, tracing the lines of your face—your soft features framed by damp hair, the way your lashes glistened with lingering tears. His chest tightened, and his heartbeat quickened, a rhythmic thrum he couldn’t ignore.

Light didn’t understand it. You were his best friend. You’d always been. But the way the air felt heavier between you, the way his gaze locked onto yours as if it couldn’t look away—it was unfamiliar. Strange.

You blinked at him, your eyes meeting his directly. There was no hesitation in your gaze, no walls, just you looking back at him. And somehow, that clear, unguarded look made his breath catch.

Without realizing it, Light leaned closer, the space between you shrinking. His heart thudded louder, and for the first time in his perfectly calculated life, he didn’t know why.

You tilted your head slightly, a small, curious motion that made him freeze. Light’s gaze flickered to your lips, then back to your eyes. He swallowed hard, shaking off the thought before it could form fully.

This is just normal… right? You’re best friends. That’s all this is. It’s nothing.

Clearing his throat softly, he raised a hand to your face, his thumb brushing against your cheek. He wiped away the last of your tears with a gentle touch, his expression softening as he did.

“There,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. “No more tears, okay?”

You didn’t reply, but you didn’t need to. The way you stayed still, letting him be there for you, letting him take care of you—it was enough.

Light exhaled slowly, his fingers lingering against your skin for just a moment longer before he pulled back, his face still alarmingly close to yours. His gaze flickered down once more before snapping back to your eyes, and he forced himself to look away, a faint blush creeping up his cheeks.

“Let’s… let’s get you warm,” he said, his voice slightly uneven. But he didn’t move away, his arms still wrapped around you as the rain fell around the two of you.

———

And then, you finally—hesitantly—wrapped your arms around Light in return. It was small at first, almost uncertain, but then you leaned into him, letting the weight of your stuffed kitten fall against your chest as your grip tightened around him. For the first time, you seemed genuine in not holding back, no barriers or pretense.

Light stilled for a moment, taken aback. The soft press of your arms around him felt different. It wasn’t just the act of hugging; it was the way you allowed yourself to depend on him, even if only for a moment. Slowly, his arms tightened, pulling you closer as if he could shield you from every storm that ever dared to touch you.

But then you spoke, your words cutting through the quiet. They were low, trembling, as if pulling them from within you was an effort: “People always leave, Light… It’s normal. It’s okay. I’ve stopped being mad about it. Even if they hate me, or forget me, or just… leave. It’s fine.”

You didn’t sob. You didn’t even sniffle. But the way your voice cracked faintly at the edges told him everything.

“It’s not fine,” Light said firmly, his voice steady even as his chest ached at your words. “I’ll never leave you. Never.” He paused, his voice softening. “Even if the whole world turns against you, even if everyone else leaves or hates you, I won’t. I could never hate you.”

He shifted, leaning back just enough to look at your face. “You’re mine,” he said, his voice low, steady, and filled with a conviction he hadn’t fully realized was there.

And then, it happened.

Slowly, tentatively, you smiled.

Not the lazy grin you threw out when deflecting his teasing, or the carefree smirk you donned when pretending nothing could touch you. This one was different. Small, shy, and vulnerable. A smile that spoke of a quiet happiness you hadn’t felt in a long time—perhaps ever.

Light’s breath caught. He was utterly at a loss for words, a rarity for him. He wanted to say something—anything—but his mind seemed to go blank, his focus completely captured by that tiny, genuine curve of your lips.

His heart stuttered in his chest, a rapid pounding that he prayed you couldn’t hear. His gaze flicked down, his thoughts racing. He didn’t even realize he was leaning closer again, his eyes tracing the soft lines of your face, the way your damp lashes framed your eyes, the faint warmth in your expression.

The urge came so suddenly, so powerfully, it almost startled him. A quiet, insistent desire to press his lips to yours, to see if that warmth would spread, to feel the closeness that his words couldn’t seem to bridge.

But he didn’t.

Instead, he tightened his arms around you, pulling you impossibly closer. His face buried in your hair, his breath unsteady as he inhaled the faint, flowery scent of you—a scent he found oddly intoxicating. He closed his eyes, willing his heartbeat to calm, to stop betraying the storm of emotions he didn’t fully understand.

What’s wrong with me?

But he wouldn’t let you know. Not now. Maybe not ever.

For now, this was enough. You were his best friend, after all. That’s all this was. Or so he told himself.

────────────

Ever since that rainy day, something between the two of you shifted. The walls you had so carefully constructed around yourself didn’t crumble all at once, but they softened—just enough to let Light slip through. You stopped deflecting his care with dismissive remarks, stopped brushing off his attempts to get close. Your reactions around him felt different now: genuine, unguarded, like you no longer saw the need to pretend.

It didn’t happen overnight, but over the years, Light noticed the subtle changes. The way you let yourself laugh freely when he teased you instead of smirking half-heartedly. The way you didn’t hesitate to lean into his shoulder when you were tired, trusting that he’d hold you steady. The way you’d meet his gaze, no longer distracted or distant, and actually see him.

It was as if the two of you had carved out your own private little world, a space where no one else existed. It was always just you and him, whether you were crammed into the corner of the library whispering about your latest inside joke or walking home side by side, sharing a single umbrella that never quite fit the both of you.

And honestly? He loved it.

He loved the way you’d wrinkle your nose at his over-planned schedules but still follow along without complaint. He loved how you’d surprise him with random facts you thought he’d find interesting, your voice tinged with excitement just for him. He loved the way you always looked for him first in a crowded room, your eyes lighting up the moment they met his.

He told himself it was just the comfort of familiarity, the bond of having a best friend who understood him better than anyone else. But deep down, there was another part of him that relished it for an entirely different reason.

Because in this little bubble you’d created, there was no one else. No competition, no distractions, no one vying for your attention. It was just him.

You were all his, whether you realized it or not.

Light never said it out loud, of course. He always played the part of the doting best friend, careful not to overstep, not to scare you off. But he couldn’t help the satisfaction that bloomed in his chest every time he caught someone staring at you, only for you to brush it off without a second thought.

You didn’t need anyone else.

You had him, and that was enough.

And as selfish as it was, he hoped it would stay that way forever.

────────────

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[kurokawaia]

── KUROKAWAIA'S KINKMAS - ¡!

* ˚ ✦ Welcome to Honey's first Kinkmas!! ೃ⁀➷ FANDOMS INCLUDE :: This contains a various amount of fandoms within Anime and/or Manga, such as; Bungou Stray Dogs, Naruto, Sk8 The Infinity, Hunter X Hunter, Attack on Titan, Demon Slayer, Tokyo Revengers, Mo Dao Zu Shi, Bleach, death note .ೃ࿐

Please fill out this form to be tagged (here), when i put you on the taglist, if your age isn't in somewhere on your profile showing you are 18+ i will not add you to it !! make sure its easily visable too! in your bio or pinned! if i can't find it there, i will not add you!! (taglist closes on the 30th of November)

DECEMBER 1 - DAZAI OSAMU (2k+)

MAIN KINK :: GUNPLAY ╰┈➤ extra kinkss; slight choking, overstimulation

WARNINGS :: yandere? dazai, controlling, Forced confinement, psychological manipulation, power imbalance, dark themes, dubious consent, overstimulation, gunplay, getting fucked by a gun on a desk, mean!dazai, slight choking, sucking the gun + more

fandom: bungo stray dogs

DECEMBER 3 - ARMIN ARLERT (1.1k+)

MAIN KINK :: Dry humping ╰┈➤ extra kinks: handjob, blow job (oral -> male receiving)

WARNINGS :: afab, x fem reader, dry humping, sub!armin, handjob, blow job, oral -> male recieving, cum swollowing, hair tugging, nicknames for armin 'min' 'minny'?, pet names for the both of you 'baby', begging, praise + more

fandom: attack on titan

DECEMBER 5 - FEITAN PORTOR (k+)

MAIN KINK :: BONDAGE ╰┈➤ extra kinks; marking, biting

WARNINGS :: afab, x fem reader, dom!feitan, marking, biting, bondage, tied up, use of rope, tightly tighted up, bruises, blood, rough sex, mean sex, possessive sex, missionary? + more

fandom: hunter x hunter

DECEMBER 7 - UCHIHA SASUKE (1.1k+)

MAIN KINK :: SOMNOPHILIA ╰┈➤ extra kinks; breeding

WARNINGS :: x fem reader, somnophilia, sex while you are asleep, piv, cervix fucking?, breeding, consent is given before hand, no protection

fandom: naruto

DECEMBER 9 - SAKURAYASHIKI KOARU (CHERRY) (2k+)

MAIN KINK :: MASTER DYNAMICS ╰┈➤ extra kinks; painting, degradation, praise

WARNINGS :: afab, x fem reader, dom!cherry, painting, bondage, degredation, praise, doggy?, desk sex, size difference implied, restriction, master dynamics, oral-> female reciving, pet names 'master' 'pet' 'good girl' + more

fandom: sk8 the infinity

DECEMBER 11 - KURAPIKA KURTA (1.6k+)

MAIN KINK :: FACE SITTING ╰┈➤ extra kinks; chain usage, overstimulation, praise

WARNINGS :: afab, x fem reader, face sitting, chain usage, overstimulation, praise, oral -> female receiving, cunnilingus, bondage (chains), restriction of movement (chains), slight temperature play? (chains), cervix kissing/fucking, fingering + more

fandom: hunter x hunter

DECEMBER 13 - LIGHT YAGAMI (3k+)

MAIN KINK :: VOYUERISM ╰┈➤ extra kinks; degradation

WARNINGS :: voyeurism? exhibition? fingering, light begging, light praise, degradation?. dom!Light x sub!Fem!reader, L looking at the camera while this happening + more

fandom: death note

DECEMBER 15 - KENPACHI ZARAKI (900+)

MAIN KINK :: SIZE DIFFERENCE ╰┈➤ extra kinks; breeding, rough sex

WARNINGS :: afab, x fem reader, size kink, rough sex, manhandling, no protection, breeding, reader is shorter, reader is smaller than kenny, misogyny?? kenny likes how your his wife, how you prodive the food for him etc.. + more

fandom: bleach

DECEMBER 17 - AGATSUMA ZENITSU

MAIN KINK :: FOODPLAY ╰┈➤ extra kinks; bondage, praise, titty fuck

WARNINGS :: afab reader, x fem! reader, foodplay, maple syrup, titty fuck, bondage, restriction, praise, sub!zenitsu, oral-> male recieving + more

fandom: demon slayer

DECEMBER 19 - LAN WANGJI

MAIN KINK :: DOM/SUB DYNAMICS ╰┈➤ extra kinks; bondage, cnc, biting, size kink, cockwarming

WARNINGS :: afab reader, x fem! reader, bondage, cnc, size ink, cockwarming, overstimulation, smaller!reader, timid!shy!reader, dom/sub dynamics + more

fandom: mo dao zu shi/the grandmaster of demonic cultivation

DECEMBER 21 - SANO MANJIRO (1.5k+)

MAIN KINK :: THIGH FUCKING ╰┈➤ extra kinks; marking/biting

WARNINGS :: afab reader, x fem! reader, nsfw, thigh kink, mating press, slightly rough sex, piv, prone bone, no protection, cum eating, slight manhandling, implied orgasm denial

fandom: tokyo revengers

DECEMBER 24 - AIZEN SOSUKE (2.8k+)

MAIN KINK :: BABY TRAPPING ╰┈➤ Breeding, yandere, manipulation, coercion

WARNINGS :: x fem reader, afab, yandere, coercion, manipulation, baby trapping, no protection, missionary, fingering, cervix kissing, NC cumming inside, + more

fandom: bleach

DECEMBER 25 - UCHIHA MADARA (3.7k+)

MAIN KINK :: CORRUPTION ╰┈➤ extra kinks; virginity taking, discrimination, breeding, degradation

WARNINGS :: corruption, virginity taking, discrimination, breeding, size kink, madara is mean, degradation, x fem reader, restraining (using hands), prone bone, slight choking? afab, she/her terms, reader is timid / shy / scared / inferior / shorter than madara, CNC, Old ideologies regarding birth! + more

fandom: naruto

Schedule : (UTC +8 time !!) will be posted 4:00pm every stated date

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© kurokawaia 2023 - 2024 (current).

[oatmealwrites]

Catch Kira, NOT Feelings! Ch. 3

L x Fem!Reader

Previous Part | Ch. 4

Word Count: 7k (hehe)

Tags: slow burn, oblivious, colleagues to lovers?, jealous! L, mentions of arousal, Lawliet POV at end, phone sex?, male erection, masturbation [male receiving], mentioning of female anatomy, MDNI, 18+

Synopsis: You continue the meeting as planed and can't help but wonder how you feel about Ryuzaki. With a brief time skip and another meeting ending in an argument, L can't help the strange feeling that's growing in his chest... and in his pants ;)

Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The meeting continues as planned, this time with Light in attendance, and the group discusses the remaining entries in the ‘Second Kira’s Notebook’. Avoiding Aoyama for the time being, Ryuzaki shifts the attention to the Tokyo Dome game mentioned within the page and proposes for Watari to cancel the event and let the police investigate. 

  You sit on the couch uncomfortably, unsure if it’s the strange feeling brewing in your chest from your encounter with Ryuzaki or simply a side effect of chasing down a mass murderer who might just be your friend. Light at your side, you keep your attention on the TV as best as you can given the circumstances.

  “In this note we can see the Second Kira mentioning Shinigami at the Tokyo Dome…”

  Mogi points to the note on the screen and the group nods in agreement, reviewing their own papers and documents for the upcoming events at the arena. Shifting slightly, you resolve to reach forward and grab one of the to-go coffee cups, deciding caffeine might be what you need at this moment. 

  “Here, let me–” Light leans forward before you can reach the table and picks up two sugar packets as well, “–you’ve had a long day of classes.”

  You watch him for a moment before sighing, “So have you though..”

“I guess that’s true… Just let me do this, okay?”

  Light laughs gently at how quickly you sit back and let him make your coffee; remembering the way you always drink it with two sugars. Deftly popping off the lid and pouring in the contents of the packets, Light lets steam emit from the cup before gently passing it to you. 

  “Careful, ok? Wouldn’t want our newest recruit getting out of the task force from some coffee burns.”

“Shut up..” you nudge Light gently enough to not spill the contents and lean down to whisper, “asshole” just out of earshot of his father. 

  Taking the cup and hovering your lips just above the paper rim, you blow the steam back a few times before taking a sip. Throughout the whole exchange Mogi and Matsuda have been conversing about the Tokyo Dome events schedule while Mr. Yagami and Aizawa discuss alerting the arena security and increasing the police presence in the area. Ryuzaki sits watching all three interactions taking place but his eyes linger on the way Light holds himself around you. 

  It makes rational sense, the both of you being well acquainted through years of working for his father, though the interaction leaves L shifting in his seat. The smile on Light’s face is natural, with creases in his eyes as he leans in to make another snarky remark in your ear; the simplicity of it all is what leaves such a sour taste he’s unable to recall in Ryuzaki’s mouth. 

  “Maybe now you won’t look half asleep during the meeting.”

  You take a long sip of coffee and gently kick Light’s shin from next to you on the hotel couch, eyes narrowed at his hushed joke.

  “I’m not tired.”

“Hmm? Then why do you look like that?”

  Like what?

  You move the cup from your lips and shiver as the warm beverage slides down your throat, eyebrows furrowed at Light in confusion before your gaze locks onto Ryuzaki’s. It’s a short connection before you break away feeling as ice had been dumped down your back; from the corner of your eyes you can tell he’s been staring and will continue to.

  “Let’s focus, ok?”

  Mr. Yagami stands and pats Mogi’s shoulder, taking control of the remote and now playing the entire diary’s image once more.

  “This,” he points to the Tokyo Dome phrase once more. “A shinigami? I believe this may be an important reference we cannot overlook. It’s obviously an omen regarding death.. But can we be certain Tokyo Dome is the target for this? Both districts of Aoyama and Shibuya were mentioned in this..”

  The group looks amongst themselves and you turn back to L, watching as he bites the edge of a hangnail on his index finger in thought. Aoyama and the notebooks weren’t supposed to be mentioned for the time being, not until Ryuzaki had deemed it absolutely necessary to inform the rest of the task force of the plan. 

  “For now, yes.” L sits forward and now reaches for a small plate covered in bite-sized fruit tarts “Watari, send a message to the head of the arena’s security to inform them of a potential terrorist attack.”

  Light sits up from the sofa and turns to the man “Shouldn’t we be investigating all of these claims, Ryuzaki? I agree the Tokyo Dome one is important, but it’s way too obvious… we can’t miss this opportunity to catch the Second Kira.”

  His tone is chill and sobering, and you lock eyes with L once more to confirm you were going to keep silent for the time being. 

  “I agree. If we let the Second Kira slip through our fingers and decimate an entire district it would be catastrophic.” Ryuzaki sits back and looks at the entire group, scanning each face. “We’re going to publish this diary on Sakura TV.”

  “What?” Mr. Yagami steps forward with an incredulous shock on his face, “If we publish this, people will react with pandemonium. They’ll live with fear!”

“No– it’s to give each of the local police departments enough time to increase their presence in their respective neighborhoods. Not to mention, give us enough liability to install additional measures.”

  Aizawa stares at L in suspicion. “Additional measures? What do you mean?”

“We can’t install additional CCTV without approval and reasonable suspicion of a threat,” L says, pointing to the television with a crumby index finger. “This is more than enough to justify that. No?”

  Matsuda ‘wows’ in awe at the reasoning while Light remains motionless on the couch thinking everything through. His demeanor is cold and isolated, radiating an energy that makes you subconsciously lean into Mogi who is sitting on the other side of you on the couch. 

  “That’s going to take a lot of manpower, Ryuzaki. Are we equipped to do all of that in such a short time?”

“We don’t have a choice,” you chime in, placing the coffee cup on the table. “If you’d like, I can try and reach out to some old internship colleagues working in Shibuya. Try and see if any additional detectives and officers can cover districts we find more at threat?”

  Mogi nods and begins mentally reviewing the list of people he knows who could also cover any gaps. “I agree. The faster we act on this, the better chance we have of catching them.”

  The group nods in agreement and breaks off into smaller teams in charge of alerting local police, contacting Sakura TV to run the diary, and relaying information back to the NPA about the current plan. Mr. Yagami steps out to a connecting room to make a few phone calls while Matsuda assists Mogi in creating a copy of the diary to send to the station. 

  “Shouldn’t we send someone to investigate these ourselves?”

  Light walks to where you and Ryuzaki have sorted all possible events at the Tokyo Dome, Aoyama, and Shibuya on the respective dates mentioned. You turn to L as do the other members, silently wondering the same thing.

  “Yes, I plan on asking one or two of you to go out and attend one of these events listed…” He continues, looking steadfast at Light, “I haven’t made up my mind quite yet though. Let’s work on the current task for the time being.”

  Light seems relatively unhappy with the response but doesn't push further; he walks back over to Aizawa and assists in drafting messages to different police quarters. You watch him work for a moment before turning back to Ryuzaki who continues sorting event paperwork next to you. 

  The proximity is nearly as close as you both were earlier in the evening, and there’s a slight tremble in your fingers at the increased heart rate in your ribs. He deftly moves and sorts papers back and forth with you, occasionally skimming your fingers with his own; the action is enough to make your ears hot. 

   This is ridiculous. I need to get out this weekend, have a drink, or something. He’s just L… he’s just a guy.

  “I’m going to need you to keep quiet for a bit longer if that’s ok.”

“Hmm? Oh, of course.”

  Continuing to work as naturally as possible, your voices are barely above a whisper to avoid unnecessary attention. The fresh scent of his laundry detergent invades your senses and is so intoxicating you nearly lean in closer to get a larger inhale. 

  Despite being able to work seamlessly with Light, working alongside Ryuzaki isn’t nearly as difficult as people had always alluded to. At nearly every NPA meeting and early police briefings in the Kira case, every detective you worked with scoffed at his name. ‘Unable to work with others’, ‘selfish and conceited’, ‘coldhearted and stoic’ were used more times than you can remember in regard to the man at your side.

  “Here, these may need to be corroborated with the Second Kira’s tapes for syntax.” Ryuzaki gently offers you a section from the diary and transcript from the tapes. “Are you able to complete that within a few days? Or is your course schedule going to get in the way…?”

  “No, I can complete it.”

  You take the evidence and organize it into a pile, admiring the man just inches away from you. Not an ounce of condescenion in his voice, he gives you tasks that genuinely need to be completed and he’s decided to trust you with; taking into account your class schedule, each assignment is neither tedious nor grueling. 

  This is nothing like the stories you had heard, and it’s enough to make you wonder if maybe those overworked detectives at previous meetings had been complaining about someone else. The L at your side is meticulous and competitive, but the way his eyes linger on your lips when waiting for confirmation is gentle and patient.

  “I’ll try and have it done in about two days. Is that ok Ryuzaki?”

“Yes,” he says, peeling his eyes up from your lips and blinking a few times before turning his attention to the documents in his own hands. “Yes, that should be perfect.”

  *******

Two weeks go by seamlessly and you fall into an easy routine between classes and Kira meetings. During lunch breaks, about twice a week, you meet with Light to discuss not only topics regarding the case, but also regular life as students and 20-something-year-olds. It’s as simple as you remember it being when you first started working with his father. The settings are friendly and casual, though less intimate and honest as you remember them being; taking note every time he begins to change his behavior and what exactly was the topic that seemed to be the trigger.

  Working with L has also gotten much easier over the days; Watari picks you up prior to the meeting nearly every day and Ryuzaki has memorized your schedule to call as soon as your seminar finishes to inquire about updates. You report nearly every move, answering when you’ve left home and returned, along with giving him updates on how your paperwork and investigation of Light have been progressing.

  On days when classes end early and you’re at home for lunch, you find yourself stopping by the bakery near your apartment and picking up a dozen earl gray cookies on the way to meetings; remembering the way Ryuzaki seems to perk up when he sees the familiar packaging.  

  It almost feels inappropriate how casual you both have begun to talk to each other; frequent texting that begins to stray just a bit further than completely work related, though they never become too personal. The texts and phone calls that vibrate from the phone L had given you come everyday like clockwork, even on the days where you weren’t scheduled to meet with Light. 

  The routine this Tuesday afternoon is the same as the past two weeks have been: calling Ryuzaki after your evening class has ended and casually relaying a brief update if you had bumped into Light. The wind is cooler today than it has been in months; gripping your jacket tighter, you balance the cardboard wrapping of the biscuits with one finger as you huddle into yourself for warmth. 

  Cars pass by in varying directions as you nod to the steady beat of music playing in your headphones, waiting at the intersection for the familiar black Mercedes to pull up. The leather briefcase slung over your shoulder makes an uncomfortable weight push into the muscle, but the feeling is numbed by another gust of wind and hair being pushed into your face.

  Before you can adjust the flyaways, a familiar car turns at the intersection and flicks on it’s fourway signals before pulling right up to where you stand. The window cracks. “Y/N, I’m here to escort you to headquarters.”

  You giggle at the same line Watari always repeats and slide off your headphones before opening the passenger door and sliding inside. The seat warmers already on, you gently place the box of cookies on the console and sling the heavy bag off your shoulder and onto the floor at your feet.

  “More cookies Y/N? You’re going to have a sweet tooth as large as Ryuzaki.”

“Nah,” you giggle and look out the window at the city lights that have flickered on being to blur by. “I don’t anyone could tie him for that.”

  ******

  “I’m just saying if Sakura TV wants to air that ‘pro-kira’ talk show, they should at least–” Matsuda stands with his arms out to Mogi as if his companion were the one he needed to convince to get his opinion delivered, before turning to you. “Oh– Y/N!”

  You slide your bag at your unspoken offical spot next to the sofa and place the small box of cookies on the table before shimmying out of your coat and smiling at the man. Watari helps you glide it off your other arm before retrieving a hanger and placing it in the small coat closet next to the door as you greet everyone in the room. 

  Ryuzaki is already sitting in his usual spot and watches you intently as you make your rounds before plopping onto the couch in between Mogi and Light; his gaze lingers on the small box of tea-flavor cookies. 

  “Did you ever take ‘Intro to Criminal Psyche’ in undergrad?”

  You turn to Light and raise an eyebrow. “Yea, why?”

“Mmm, I’ve been thinking of missing a few classes to work on the task force assignments a bit more. If you have the notes from when you took it, I’m sure that would suffice to replace the material I miss.”

  You laugh and nudge him, “Wow, ditching class? The number-one student I know has a rebellious side to him after all.”

  Light laughs, though the sound is partially empty of genuine humor. “Of course~, though if it makes you uncomfortable, I’ll just have to actually attend.”

“Let me check my files,” you said, looking over at his dad, who is shaking his head with a sigh from the conversation, “If I still have them saved, you’re more than welcome.”

  The moment Light puts his hand on your shoulder in gratitude, the unfamiliar ugly feeling inside Ryuzaki’s gut begins to grow again. His chest is tight with a frustration he couldn’t quite pinpoint, as if the scene in front of him was wrong; similar to a movie spinoff of a book that wasn’t following the plot correctly. 

  Ryuzaki takes a breath, it doesn’t bother him, it shouldn’t bother him, before turning to the now total members present at the meeting. “Alright, now that Y/N is here, we can continue.”

  The group quiets down and Aizawa stands up, holding a variety of documents and reading through them in summary. “Well the DNA procurement is experiencing some delays; with nearly every available agent and officer dispatched to the Second Kira diary locations, the lab is running on a time lag.”

  You hum and turn to Watari to take a coffee from the tray he brings around, not bothering to reach for sugar as he’s been preparing it to the exact sweetness you prefer for nearly two weeks now. 

  “There’s also the issue of Shibuya and Aoyama.” Aizawa flips through to another page and  sighs, “We’ve been able to dispatch any colleagues Y/N knows around the Shibuya main entry points, but Aoyama is still more understaffed than I think it should be.”

  “Even if we agreed Tokyo Dome was the priority?” Matsuda questions.

  “Mr. Yagami, have all the CCTV we’ve requested been installed within the district's limits already?”

  Mr. Yagami turns to Ryuzaki and scans through a few documents before nodding, “Yes, they’ve been successfully placed in all the main access points and intersections you’ve requested. Local police also confirm increased presence there on the days leading up to and following our recommendation.”

  You turn to Ryuzaki and wonder the same question everyone has been considering for the past few weeks: who was he going to choose to send? Keeping quiet over the past two weeks wasn’t exactly easy, nearly every meeting contained Light protesting the decision to focus too heavily on the Tokyo Dome and pushing back even more when L refused to further explain his decision. 

  Ryuzaki takes a long moment to consider, idly placing sugar cube after sugar cube into his tea cup and not bothering to look up. A gentle breeze from the open windows pushes his hair to tickle his cheekbones and you instinctively shiver at the drop in temperature. Opening the window for fresh air was a common recurrence, but you couldn’t help but tense at the chill air that always nipped at your skin. Before Light can glance over and offer you his jacket, Watari walks over to the hotel linen closet to retrieve a throw blanket and passes it to you.

  Additional stocked bedding wasn’t unusual considering the amount of times members have spent the night in the suite, but the smaller plush throw blankets that seemed to perfectly warm you back up seemed to appear only about a week ago. 

  “I’ve made a decision on who I want to attend Aoyama, and I want it known that if either party feels too uncomfortable, we can renegotiate.”

  You lean in, similar to the rest of the members and hang on to every word. “Light, I’d like you to walk the streets of Aoyama on the date we’ve previously decided. Matsuda, please accompany him.”

  What?

  You stay frozen in confusion at Ryuzaki’s announcement while Mr. Yagami immediately stands up in protest.

  “I’m not sending my son to the front lines! First you accuse him of being Kira and now you want him to be killed by the Second one?”

“Dad–!” Light stands up to argue with his father, “You don’t get to make that decision for me.”

  I’m not going?

  You look up to look at Ryuzaki who was glancing over at the two men arguing and making no effort to make eye contact with you. He sips his tea and stares indifferently at the spectacle in front of him, occasionally reaching down to grab a cookie you brought.

  Despite working with him on the Aoyama plan during meeting breaks in secret, confirming through texts that Light was still unaware of said plan, and even staying later nights to work out any kinks…. he didn’t pick you. 

  A pang of hurt and nearly anger washes over you as the decision sinks in. The two men arguing over the coffee table now a million worlds away, an ugly feeling tightens in your chest. Had you not proven you were skilled enough to take on a challenge like this? Was all he saw in you was an errand-girl who could watch Light on campus so he didn’t have to?

  You look up at Matsuda who was now trying to calm down the chief, and furrow your eyebrows into a sharp ‘V’ formation. No, even the role of babysitting Light was forfeited from you. It’s impossible to focus and the atmosphere is nearly suffocating as jealousy courses hot through your veins.

  “Alright, I’d like to further explain the plan before you two go any further,” says Ryuzaki, standing up and placing one foot on the coffee table for balance to grab the remote and flip to the details of Aoyama.

  “The diary entry in this event mentions meeting with friends on the streets of Aoyama, a needle in a haystack considering the population density.” He tilts his head to side and continues flipping. “However, there’s a strong chance it’ll come down to just two people: Kira and the Second Kira. At least one of which, we will assume is student age; high school or higher education.”

  “So this is another example of accusing Light? Because he fits the age group demographic?”

“Mr. Yagami, please hold all your questions until I’ve finished.”

  Ryuzaki takes a metal teaspoon between his lips while he talks, “Aoyama is a wealthy neighborhood and a fashion hotspot, most likely a place to be recommended by a young woman. Please keep this in mind while observing pairs of people.”

  Still annoyed by the plan you helped decide on, you can’t help but notice the strange thin smile on Light’s lips as he watches the presentation unfold. Despite his father trying his hardest to prove his innocence, Light doesn’t seem the least bit stressed by the accusation; he’s nearly humming with excitement while you sulk on the sofa. 

  “Alright Light! Just you and me doing some fieldwork, sounds like it’ll be fun!”

Aizawa smacks Matsuda on the side of the head. “This isn’t a field trip to go shopping and eat at cafes! Both you and Light are placing your lives on the line.”

  Matsuda deflates back onto the mirroring couch in defeat while Mr. Yagami remains staring between his son and Ryuzaki.

  “Are you sure about this? Light– I don't want him to make you look more guilty when you’re not.”

“Then let me go! If I can find the Second Kira– it’ll only help me clear my name.”

  Light’s tone is demanding despite pleading with his father for approval in attending the mission. Even while slightly pissed off, you recognize it to be the same uncomfortable aura from your first lunch ‘date’ a few weeks ago. 

  No notebooks…?

  Remembering the aspect of ‘notebooks’ being an important aspect of revealing the Second Kira, you turn to Ryuzaki who has now finally returned eye contact. Scrunching your brows in confusion at his lack of complete clarity, L gives a short nod ‘no’ before returning his attention back to the father-son duo.

“Is this plan alright with everyone? Anyone not going to Aoyama will have different monitoring tasks during these events so please ensure your availability.”

  Mogi and Aizawa nod as Mr. Yagami sits back down in defeat and Light gives a solid statement of his own approval. Matsuda hums in excitement across from you and you sit on the couch with arms crossed and scowling into the space of the corner of the room. 

  “Alright then, let’s continue with some specifics for how this will all play out.”

  *********

  A sour taste remains in your mouth for the rest of the meeting as you listen to the plan you helped come up with be delegated to other members. Aizawa and you will be in charge of monitoring CCTV at the headquarters alongside Ryuzaki while Mogi and Mr. Yagami are on standby duty at Sakura TV in case of a break through.

  At the usual late hour, the meeting is concluded and you take your time packing up your things as members slowly trickle home. Matsuda stretches and holds the door open for the Yagamis before exiting and leaving you in the room with L and Watari.

  “Ryuzaki… can I speak with you?”

  L looks up from handing Watari his empty teacup and nods once, “I assumed you wanted to speak, you usually pack up much quicker most evenings.”

  Any other time the comment might’ve made your heart rate pick up at his attentiveness to your habits, but this time your heart remains heavy in your chest. Following him into the bedroom as usual, when the door clicks shut the only thing you can do is stand awkwardly in silence.

  Hands wet with sweat, you tug at the straps of your briefcase bag and wondering where to even begin.

  “Something is bothering you. I can tell.”

  Ryuzaki leans against the side of the bedframe casually and stares at your face patiently, showing no signs of fatigue despite the late hour. 

  You sigh once and take a step forward. “Why didn’t you choose me for Aoyama?”

  L watches you for an additional second and closes his eyes for a moment. “I figured that's what you were gonna ask.”

“So… why didn’t you?”

  Ryuzaki shrugs and looks off to the messy desk at the side of the room, twitching once as the analog clock on the wall ticks away in the deafening silence.

  “I figured Light and Matsuda were the best for the task. That’s it.”

  That’s it?

  You grip your bag tighter, sinking your nails into the leather, and can feel the anger from earlier beginning to seep out, “What do you mean? Haven’t I worked hard to prove you can trust me? That I would be great for this position?”

“Of course I trust you, but that has nothing to do with this.”

  You furrow your brows, growing impatient as he speaks to you as if it were obvious. “What do you mean? I’ve been helping you come up with this plan and been watching Light this whole time… so why is it different?”

“Did you feel entitled to it? Is that why you’re upset?”

  You wince and take a step back, embarrassment mixing into the defensive that began building.

  Ryuzaki watches your expression and continues, “Matsuda will do just fine watching Light, I’ve already spoken to him privately about it. The other members on this task force are accomplished and determined. Just because you’ve been a great help in conducting this plan doesn’t mean you’re the best person to execute it.”

  Your throat feels tight as his words, and humiliation begins to sink in as he speaks. 

  Of course, other members are veterans at this and you’re still under the position of an ‘intern’ for Mr. Yagami. It’s fucking embarrassing how worked up I’ve become…

  “You could’ve let me know ahead of time…when we were planning this earlier…”

  Ryuzaki turns back to you, an awkward feeling forming in chest at seeing your dejected face turn away from him.

  “Maybe it’s foolish that I was already planning on going but–”

“-- you would’ve thrown the same fit you threw earlier. Announcement of my decision doesn’t mean anything.”

  The words are harsh. Harsher than Ryuzaki means for them to come out as he internally struggles with this uncomfortable feeling and he regrets it the moment they leave his lips. Your eyebrows furrowed in a mixture of anger, rejection, and embarrassment; the way you scoff hurts him deeply considering the array of ugly emotions are directed at him. 

  “Right. Whatever..” you spin on your heel and open the door to finish the conversation. “Thanks for the clarification.”

  The words are spit with venom through gritted teeth and you don’t bother turning around to say goodbye. Watari watches the anger seethe off you and makes no effort to create conversation as he follows you out the hotel door and down the lobby to the parking lot. 

  If you weren’t getting chauffeured by Ryuzaki’s right hand man, hot angry tears would have escaped your eyes, an aggravated scream would leave your lips, and a few punches to an empty car seat cushion may have taken place. 

  As the car pulls out of the lot, you look out the glass and notice the silhouette of Ryuzaki peering from behind the hotel window curtain before you turn your head the other way. Watari makes no effort to speak and doesn’t protest when you dig your headphones out of your bag and blast music in your ears. 

**************

4am - 4 hours after the meeting ended.

Ryuzaki POV

  He should’ve worded that differently. He knows, she knows, Watari even knows it judging on the somber and judgmental look he shot Ryuzaki after returning from dropping you home. It’s not like he wanted to come off as an asshole, he usually did to most people, but the fact he came off that way to you was what made this guilt so uncomfortable in his gut. 

  Ryuzaki lets out a long sigh and leans back in the office chair at the desk in the hotel bedroom, not bothering to sleep. One more shade of purple under his eyes won’t be noticed and L takes this moment to bite at his cuticles in thought.

  Why hadn’t he just given you the task for Aoyama?

  You had proved yourself more useful than half the people he’s had the displeasure of working with. Patient with his awkward attitude, intelligent with great deductive skills, loyal to his recommendation despite making you observe your ‘friend’ for signs of being Kira, and absolutely beauti-

  Ryuzaki snaps his head to the side and rejects the thought before it forms. On a professional level it should’ve been you. You’ve already done so much to help in the Aoyama plan, more so than he could casually give you praise for, and your ability to follow Light and intuition with his behavior made you the perfect candidate. So why didn’t he?

  L stands up from the desk and begins to walk aimlessly around his room in the moonlight that seeped in from the windows. Instead of giving you the chance to apply yourself and excel with a perfect opportunity, he has you scheduled to sit in a dark room with him and another colleague watching CCTV for hours on end. 

  The nasty and ugly part of him was glad when he had made that decision, keeping you away from the front line despite going to school with his number one suspect— this time you could be far away from Light. Safe… with him. Why did he even want that?

  Ryuzaki sits on the edge of his hotel bed and shakes his head before looking around the room for a plate of desserts that might be lingering. Of course he knew why he didn’t personally want you prancing the streets of Aoyama with Light. The fact it meant you would be at risk of being killed by the Second Kira, who may not need a name to murder, OR the fact it meant you would be spending the whole day walking around cute cafes and boutiques with Light while Ryuzaki was forced to watch it all on CCTV in multiple angles for multiple hours. He wasn’t sure which option was worse.

  Pushing those thoughts back down again, completely inappropriate given the situation, he pulls out his cell phone and runs his fingers down the sides in thought. He should apologize. He knows it, and he also knows you would pretend to be fine during the meeting tomorrow despite actually being pissed off at him. Rightfully so.

  Letting out a sigh of defeat, Ryuzaki powers it on and open up your contact and waiting a beat before clicking the dial button and leaning further onto the edge of the bed.

  He’s not sure you’re even going to answer until the line rings for a fourth time and a half asleep “huhhh?” rings out from the other end. 

  Ryuzaki pauses immediately at the tone, not quite a groan but a light and airy moan escapes your lips into the receiver at your sleepy state. L stands motionless at the tone and immediately begins to regret calling at this late hour when his body begins to react against every logical will his brain offers.

  “Hello?”

  Shit. He realizes he’s taking too long to answer and resolves to issuing a short apology.

  “Y/N? It’s L... I’m sorry to wake you.”

“Ohhhh Ryuzakiii”

  L swallows hard at the airy tone you use, knowing you have no idea what you actually sound like considering it’s nearly 4:30 in the morning. His breath is labored as he clenches the phone in his hand, nearly forgetting the whole reason he was calling anyways. 

  “Yes, I’d like to apologize for my words earlier this evening. Though we can discuss this.. Tomorrow.”

“Hmm” There’s the sound of you shuffling on the other end before you continue and yawn in between every other word, “Ohhhh please don’t be mad.. I didn’t.. Mean to be.. A bitch…please– Ryuzaki”

  Fuck. FUCK.

  Even the sound of his fake name leaving your lips in that tone was enough to make him wince at the familiar feeling growing in his jeans. He needed to end this call. Now. 

  “No, I’m not mad. Please get some sleep and I apologize again… for calling this late.”

  Ryuzaki ends the call and throws the phone on the bed as if the metal had been burning his hand the entire time. 

  This feeling was wrong, so. Fucking. Wrong.

  He doesn’t need to look down to know what’s happening, being a young man in 20s he’s quite familiar with the feeling, but he peers down anyway. The fabric around the fly of his baggy jeans was uncomfortably tight and his cock pushed against the confines of his boxers and denim, throbbing slightly in arousal. 

  Ryuzaki lets out a shaky breath and thinks a million different thoughts at once, a majority of them full of self loathing and frustration. He was your boss for fuck’s sake. You both had admitted your trust in one another and he would hate himself for the rest of his life if you thought the only reason he kept you around was to sexually gratify him.

  He had been around countless female agents and detectives who had been bullied or pulled out of the workforce because of menial relationships. Even Naomi had left the FBI upon getting married. If you ever found out that he was hard at just the sound of your sleepy and disheveled voice, you would probably be disgusted and offended and leave the task force; the very prospect of that being the last thing he wants considering your talent.

  A wince escapes his lips when his cock throbs at the image of you now present in his head, and every rational brain cell within his skull is screaming at him to change his thoughts and let himself get soft. But he can’t. Not with the way your lips, coated in that honey flavored chapstick, or maybe lip gloss, you always apply, is painted clearly in his head. The way those very same lips would look around the base of his co-

  NO.

  Ryuzaki grips the comforter beneath him and folds into himself slightly as his erection painfully begs for some sort of friction to satisfy it. ‘It’s an abuse of a position of power’ is what the world famous detective portion of his brain is saying, while the 20-something-year-old portion of his brain is remembering what the swell of your ass looks like when you bend over the couch armrest to pick up fallen documents. 

  Shit… 

  He can feel all logical rationale seeping out of him when twitching fingers move to undo the button of his jeans and let down the zipper of his fly to just apply a little relief. Realistically, you might be interested too.

  The thought makes Ryuzaki bite his lip in disgust while his hands betray his brain and move to shimmy the fabric of his jeans to his mid thigh and let his erection stand up in his boxers. The constant replies to all his messages, working late evenings with him, and brushing fingertips more times than a casual explanation could allow, even bringing him those delicious cookies when you realized how much he liked them. 

   You never did that for Light.

  “Shit..”

  Ryuzaki sighs in a partially drunk state while he stares at the patch of pre cum seeping through the flimsy fabric of his boxers, his cock aching for relief. The image of you with Light feeds the ugly part of him he didn’t even know had existed; despite knowing you for around a month, the idea of you being close with Light brings an unexplainable frustration to his mind.

  While being able to imagine Light’s smug face is nearly enough to soften his erection, the sound of your voice airily moaning his fake name comes to mind once more, and the idea of what it would sound like to hear you say ‘Lawliet’ in that same tone, makes his cock ache even more than he thought possible.

  Ryuzaki’s had erections before during your time at the task force, ones that occurred when he happened to fall sleep and woke up with some light morning wood. But this was different. Fingertips pinching the elastic of his waistband, he tugs the fabric down to join his jeans at his mid thigh; a wince escapes his lips at the change in temperature on his dick. 

  A slight happy trail going down his navel that extended into a full bush from lack of need to trim for anybody, his cock hovers upright with the angry dark pink tip leaking pre-cum profusely. This wasn’t a casual boner he was popping, it was an ugly carnal desire L had written off from having due to his career and work life. Yet sitting on the edge of the bed, all rationale finally seeps out of him.

  It must due to be the lack of blood flow to his brain that makes Ryuzaki bring his palm to his mouth to spit into the flesh a few times before coating his shaft in a mix of pre-cum and saliva. The sensation causes a slight groan to escape and his eyebrows to furrow in focus as he spends an extra second massaging the tip. 

  Giving a few extra pumps to warm up, he begins to slide his hand up and down the shaft with just the amount of tension he likes. The feeling pairs nicely with the image of you in his head, would you jerk him off like this? Or would you want to put those pretty lips to use on his cock while your hands worked on his shaft?

  Balls tightening at the mere image, his hips jerk forward into his hand as his body betrayed his brain and grew hornier at the thoughts. What color bra did you always wear? A week ago you accidentally wore a pretty light blue one under your white shirt… did you know he could see it? What did your tits look like when you take it off?

  “Nngh… oh f-fuck..”

  L swallows thickly and quickens the pace before using his other hand to lift his shirt so he could lean over and spit on his cock once more before taking the fabric in his teeth. His fingers massage the tip before tugging on the skin of his shaft and applying pressure to the enlarged vein that ran on the underside of cock, causing a few groans to leave his mouth.

  And what if you did want him back? Would you let him sit under your pretty pussy while you rode his face? Let him eat you out like he had been thinking about… if you tasted even sweeter than he was imagining.

  Hips shuddering and balls aching with a heavy feeling, that recognizable coil begins to grow in his abdomen as he increases the speed. Sweat dripping down his brow, he nearly coughs when the image of you letting him fuck you crosses his vision. 

  Splayed out all pretty and moaning his name. His real name. Or maybe riding him in this very bed while he sucks bruises only he will be able to see onto those perfect pretty tits of yours.

  “Fuck.. Y/N… gonna..”

  He increases the speed of his hand and can see the image now in a thousand different ways. Him cumming in your mouth, on your face, on your tits, in your hand, in your cunt and then watching it leak out…

  FUCK

  Ryuzaki tugs a few extra times and exhales sharply when hot ropes of semen begin to pour down his hand and even escape on the carpet below. Rubbing his cock through his orgasm, he lays back on the bed with an exasperating feeling as he catches his breath. 

  Hot cum on his hand, thighs, and now floor, the post-nut clarity is a disgusting feeling that washes over him. All the images and ways he’s tried so damn hard not to see you in, make him feel no better than a dog with no respect when that’s all you’ve shown him.

  Of course it’s more than your body that L is attracted to, but the physical and creepy nature of masturbating to you makes him shiver uncomfortably as a line that shouldn’t have been crossed now has. With one more sigh and mentally shelving the images his brain had conjured up, Ryuzaki sits up and reaches for a couple of tissues on the nightstand.

  Sopping up all the remnant cum on his hands, thighs, and carpet, he tosses the tissues into the trash and tucks himself back into his boxers and jeans. 

  Tomorrow…

  Ryuzaki doesn’t want to even begin to consider how he would face you tomorrow, so he decides not to think about it. It was a one time thing, and now that it’s out of his system he should be free from the hypnotic spell you seem to have placed him under. With a sigh, he decides to head into the ensuite bathroom to wash away the physical evidence of his perverted actions and clear his head before facing you in yet another meeting tomorrow. One where you would be fully awake, and he could properly apologize.

part 3 is doneeee

ty so much for your patience with this series! holidays and exams are crazy but im so excited to keep writing this (hehe more nsfw to come, but defrosting methodical L into a horny pining man takes some time)

likes/comments/reblogs are appreciated & let me know if you wanna be on the taglist

-oatmeal ╰(´︶`)╯♡

Tags: @lechatparle24 @irissfoot @iheteeaifs

[lightnotyagami]

"Do you think you'll kill for me one day?"

"Yes, of course i will my dear."

Light x fem reader (soft) smut

A/n:remeber when L put cameras into lights room? When i was like 14 or 15 i read a smut FF like this and OH MY GOD its still in my head. Coudnt find the ogs @ but if i ever do ilysm🙏 (it was on ao3 if anyone wants to help me find it😭)

Summary: L puts cameras into lights room.. great.. but what do normal people his age do? Hang out with friends, do homework.. and some other things.

Tw/cw: my horrible english, soft smut (duh) , being watched, tell me if i missed anything!!

"Are we seriously going to do this?" You asked him still in a safe distance from his house. "Yeah, wanna back out?" He said as he looked at you like you were stupid. "No! I'm just saying, I don't know about the whole... thing." You voiced as he answered with a shrug like what you said wasn't a big deal to him. "Look," he said walking towards you with his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "I'll take care of it, okay? you just relax and lay down." Your mind went crazy thinking about all the things that could go wrong. "So, are you in yes or no?" He stopped right in front of you and looked directly into your eyes. His face was close enough for you to smell the mint from his breath. 'It felt different being so close to someone, I mean I didn't feel threatened by his appearance, just like when we were fighting but this time I could see how beautiful he really is...' you thought to yourself "fine." "Good girl."

*later in his room*

'64 cameras.' you thought to yourself as you sat yourself on the bed and light on his chair. "hey light!" the door was shot open revealing his little sister, sayu was her name? "mom asked if you want anything from the supermarkt, oh and does Y/n want something too?" she asked now looking at you "oh no dear its fine! you two make yourselves a great day" you answered. "Okay, dont be mad then if we dont bring extra snacks" she winked at making your laugh slightly. 'i wish i had a younger sister' you thought to yourself "okay mom says bye." Sayu said closing the door behind her, leaving only you and light. oh and the 64 cameras from every angle of course. The lights were dimmed making everything look more mysterious. "you want anything?" Light asked turning around to look at you. "no... thanks its okay." you answered looking at the ground embarassed as he sat besides you ."it's alright babe, come sit over here." he patted on his lap. You slowly moved your legs closer to him sitting on his lap. he pulled you closer so that your head was on his chest and his arms were wrapped around you. Everything was going after Plan but why did this still feel so..weird? you dont know if L is the only one watching this. you could only hope. you closed your eyes trying enjoying his touch and warmth as he kissed you softly. "let me show you something, babe." you hummed in response. His fingers which were playing with the ends of your hair slowly moved up to your body . "your heart is beating so fast" he whispered in your ear, causing you to shiver slightly. It sent an electrical jolt through your spine, it was almost painful but good. your heart started hammering in your chest as he pushed your t-shirt up exposing your bra and sofly pushing you down on the bed climbing on top of you. you moaned as he started kissing you softly on your neck, moving it from side to side, leaving small red marks "l-light~!" you whined not sure what to do as he started to unhook your bra , slowly peeling it off your body.

*at the headquarters*

"mister Soichiro Yagami, i belive you would like to leave the room?" L said as soichiro looked at the computers not sure if to ignore this ever happaned or to kill light when hes back home. "yes im sorry i just.." he said as he walked out of the room in complete shock that his son was capable of these things. "anyways. Im bluring the cameras now. Watari unblur them when this is done and a cheese cake would also be nice "

[anomaly-hivemind]

Kinktober 2024 Masterlist

Our Lineup for this year's Kinktober, if you'd like to be tagged for a certain story please say so down below by specifying what story/stories. of if you have any questions!

Week One

Day One ☆ Permanent | Vaginal Fingering with Tattoo Artist! Trafalgar D. Water Law

Day Two ☆ A Taste of Fire | Predator/Prey with Dragon! Rengoku Kyojuro

Day Three ☆ Kiss Me <3 | Anal Sex with Deadpool x Wolverine

Day Four ☆ Forever and Always, My Dear | Kidnapping with Overhaul

Day Five ☆ Beep Boop | Robots with Ken Sato

Day Six ☆ The Heat Note | A/B/O Fuck or Die with Light Yagami x L Lawliet x Misa Amane

Day Seven ☆ More than Seven Minutes | Mutual Masterbation with Eren Jaeger

Week Two

Day Eight ☆ An Apple a Day | Medical Malpractice with Incubi/Succubi

Day Nine ☆ Whore Convention | Free Use with Ghostface, Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, Pennywise, Jeepers Creepers, Slenderman, Eyeless Jack, Laughing Jack, Albert Wesker, and Pyramid Head

Day Ten ☆ Keep Quiet! | Public Sex and Accidental Stimulation with Sae Itoshi

Day Eleven ☆ Bloody Petals | Blood Kink with Fem. Vampire OC

Day Twelve ☆ I Need to Know | Body Worship with Scientist! Laios Touden

Day Thirteen ☆ The Monster in the Garden | Overstimulation with Sukuna x Cinderella

Day Fourteen ☆ Dive In | Mating with Merman! Gojo Satoru

Week Three

Day Fifteen ☆ Infected | Sex Pollen with The Last of Us Zombie

Day Sixteen ☆ Under and Over | Size kink with Monster under the the bed! Muriel [The Arcana]

Day Seventeen ☆ Weep for Me | Dacryphilia with Weeping Angel! Tsukasa Shishio

Day Eighteen ☆ Whose Better | Spitroasting with Gang Orca x Reader x Shishido

Day Nineteen ☆ Containment Failed | Mind Control with SCP-49 and SCP-35

Day Twenty ☆ Be Mine? | Breeding with Werewolf! All Might

Day Twenty-One ☆ Money for Muff | Fantasy Sugar Daddy with Dragon! Crocodile

Week Four

Day Twenty-Two ☆ Love Me Lonely | Dry Humping with Frankenstein Monster! Tomura Shigaraki

Day Twenty-Three ☆ Let me Help You | Savior Complex and Coersion with Albedo [Overlord]

Day Twenty-Four ☆ Behind You | Car Sex with Ghostface

Day Twenty-Five ☆ Tangled Up | Double Penetration with Naga OC

Day Twenty-Six ☆ High and Mighty | Chastity with Sub! Elf Vinsmoke Sanji

Day Twenty-Seven ☆ Knightly Presence | Edging with Demon Bruce Wayne

Day Twenty-Eight ☆ Delulu is the Solulu | Vouyerism with Gyutaro

Week Five

Day Twenty-Nine ☆ Caught | Bondage with Spider! Choso

Day Thirty ☆ Beg For Me | Begging with Dom! Goddess Nico Robin

Day Thirty-One ☆ My Light | Cryptidfucking with the Mothman

[y6g6mis]

— XXI. YOU’RE NO GOOD FOR ME

summary. You’ve known that he’s Kira from the very beginning, you’re the only person who does, so, in order to protect his identity, he asks you to do a ‘small’ favor for him.

includes. light yagami x fem!reader, SMUTT, fingering, mirror sex, softdom!light

His hands travelled up and down the sides of your skin, you felt tense, probably because his room was a tad cold, but you couldn’t care less, though you shivered a bit now and then.

“‘S alright.” He says. “Y’can trust me.”

He called you earlier to come over to his house to ‘study’. He told you about him having small cameras placed in the house as a precaution. He couldn’t be too careful,

So… he asked you to have sex with him.

It was a choice you had to think about, but decided to give in, and take the risk it was willing to give.

You looked him in his eyes, they were heavy and full of lust, you knew what his intentions were, and were willing to take it.

His hands roamed to places you’d never been, your breath hitched as you felt his hand play with you through your pants.

“Get these off.” He uttered, you did as he said, taking them off in one swift motion, and tossing them aside on the floor.

You felt his fingers reach your entrance, as he circled them around your clit.

A hushed whine escaped your lips. “Fuck-”

You threw your head back, huffing a whine.

He continued his pace, his slender fingers slipping inside you, feeling your walls.

You wanted to scream his name, scream anything. You were overwhelmed with pleasure and desire, your eyes rolling back, with your head hanging.

As his pace quickened, so did your breathing, it went from silent to heavy, echoing throughout the walls of his bedroom.

"God-" You whined, a husky whisper.

"Let me hear you, love." He uttered. "Let them hear you."

You whined louder, as his pace quickened even more, desperate for your voice.

You felt yourself giving in, getting even closer and closer to your edge.

Your groaning grew louder, you couldn’t control it, even if you didn’t want them to, they still came out.

Light stopped his motions, your breathing was heavy.

“Wh-”

“I don’t want you to finish just yet.” He interrupts. “Lay down.”

You did as he told you, laying down flat on your back.

“Try to relax.” He whispered. “If you want me to stop, I’ll stop.”

He positioned himself right where he wanted to be, as he laid himself down, his lips close to your ear.

You felt a sort of adrenaline rush as you felt him slip inside you, a feeling.

You inhaled, sucking the air through your teeth.

“Does it hurt?” He asked.

“N-No .. god, no.” You say, wanting him to keep going.

He sighed, as his pace started, his thrusts slow and gentle.

You whined through your lips, trying your best not to just let it out right then and there.

His pace continued, going even faster, your breathing hitched, as your mouth fell open.

He was good, really good. Good that you wanted to scream his name in that moment.

You turned your head to see the mirror he had, hanging from his door.

He noticed. “Yeah? Y’like lookin’ at yourself getting fucked? By all means, keep lookin’.”

You did. Though it was hard to focus, so you just snuck a couple of glances over.

As he went faster, you could feel yourself growing nearer and nearer to your edge once again, it felt good, amazing, even, being this close with him like never before.

“Light-” It was all you could get out.

But he knew. “Do it.”

And so, you were done.

Shaky breathing was all that could be heard throughout his room.

You looked up at him, wanting to say something, anything.

“Light, I-”

He cut you off, closing the rather large gap between the two of you, the kiss was deep, but you didn’t want to pull away.

But when he pulled away, all you could do was look at him, and not look away.

Ever.

[yurioyuratchka]

Hello can I request a Lawliet x reader

a girl detective who has grown up with him and watari but she stopped responding to the messages and attempts to communicate with him

Light Yagami

please

IN MY SOLITUDE.

l. lawliet x fem!reader

ꨄ︎ this isnt going to be very long, the 2nd part will be WAY longer im just trying to get atleast a bit of this out to show

ꨄ︎ content : fluff (?)

ꨄ︎ summary : fem!reader ignores Lawliets advances to try and contact her and eventually he gives up on trying. She later regrets this and makes an attempt to reach him and he lets her help on the kira investigation and eventually they make up.

ꨄ︎ side-note : im gonna be doing this in two parts because its a longer story >0<

ꨄ︎ wordcount : only 589 :3

"Watari, have you heard from her?" L asked, his voice laced of curiosity and concern as he sat cross-legged on the couch, a half-eaten plate of cake balancing precariously on his knee.

Watari, his eyes never leaving the multitude of screens in front of him, replied with a curt, "No, she hasn't been responding to my messages either." He says releasing a deep sigh.

The room was filled with a heavy silence that seemed to press against the walls. The once familiar chirping of birds outside had been replaced by the distant murmur of the city, a stark reminder of the passage of time. The warm, yellow light cast by the desk lamp threw deep shadows across L's face, highlighting the dark circles that had become a permanent fixture under his eyes. He took a bite of the apple, the crunch echoing in the quiet room.

"It's been months," L murmured, his gaze drifting to the silent phone on the coffee table. The female detective, someone he had known for so long, had suddenly gone quiet. They had shared countless cases, grown up together in the complex world of crime, and yet she had just disappeared from his life without a trace. He couldn't help but feel a twinge of anger at her sudden withdrawal, especially when he knew she had the skills and insight that could help him on the most critical case of his career, the Kira investigation.

Making a quick decision to contact the female, the dark haired male decided to send her one last email that could possibly change the situation and bring the two back together.

“Hello Y/N.

I would like to request that you meet me out for lunch at CAFEEL the coffee shop located in the underground section of Shinjuku Station in Tokyo tomorrow afternoon.

I have some very important things to discuss with you and I would greatly appreciate if you came alone.

Sincerely, L.”

y/n’s pov

My computer dinged, signaling i’ve received an email. I click over to the already opened tab to see one single email, I click it and soon im met with a breif email from L. Lawliet. My eyes darted back and fourth at the email, debating if I should write him a reply or just ignore it like have all the other emails.

I let out a shaky breath, contemplating my choices, I slide my mouse over to the bold ‘REPLY’ button at the end of the email I have received and I click on it. I quickly begin typing out my answer, feeling a light wave of sudden courage.

“ Dear L. Lawliet,

I hope this message finds you well. I sincerely apologize for not responding to your previous emails over the years; I appreciate your patience. I would be more than happy to meet you for lunch at CAFEEL tomorrow afternoon. It get how important this may be for our friendship and I understand the need for a private discussion. Please let me know what time works best for you, and I'll make sure to be there.”

I release a deep breath and start to stand up and stretch, releaving my body from being sat down in my old office chair for hours. I bend down a bit to close off my tabs and turn off my monitor for the night. I set the alarm on ny alarm clock for 9am to give myself time to get ready before I see my friend whom I havent contacted in years, finally heading to bed for a much needed rest.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT? >^<

this def isnt the best i couldve done but im not unhappy with it >_< i will try to do a part two of this as soon as i can but ive been very busy recently so..

and i very much appreciate anyone who has sent me requests i promise im working on them

and please criticize this and let me know what you think . tips/advice are appreciated >_<

and @alyssa-dayne please feel free to let me know if this isnt what you meant in the request i will glady rewrite it for you >_<