#lifeofkj | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dankokaji · 8 years ago

Text

[FFX -Will-] Quatervois (FF Kissing Battle 2017) (Baralai/Yuna)

Written for seventhe’s Final Fantasy Kissing Battle 2017 on livejournal.

Prompt: Baralai/Yuna, many paths to the same destination

@lifeofkj this is for you,

as you continue to inspire me with your stories

Rating: PG

Warnings: Spoilers for FFX-2.5 novel

Word Count: 3647

Yuna’s hand hovers over his door, her knuckles just shy of the knock. She had woken up from a fitful nightmare no more than a couple of hours after she had decided to try at sleep. The events of last week still plague her mind, of Sin’s beckoned return and the inevitable shadow it casts.

Sighing, she drops her hand, and folds her arms. ‘What am I doing here…?’

Yuna left the comfort and safety of her home island to visit Bevelle on a fool’s errand, concerned by Tidus’s ailing health; in the end, she let herself be carried away by the Council’s plight. How Baralai manages to maintain his calm, even during moments of extreme stress, Yuna does not know, but she envies him for his initiative.

While everyone had been reduced to a mindless panic over Sin, Baralai acted quick to dispatch his Senders, banishing it within the first hour of its conception. Confidence and resolve raises his shoulders, instead of burdens them. Less people are calling upon the High Summoner now, hailing the Chancellor as their new hero. She can’t blame them, not when she sees how he throws himself into the heart of social media as the icon of progressive politics. Baralai shines so brilliantly in the limelight that it repels her, casting light over the shadows in her heart.

‘How can I face him?’

Yuna thought they had managed to come to an understanding, despite her persistent cold shoulder to his repeated summons. Their personal interests and private associations are always at conflict, and as always, Baralai never holds it against her, even while they stand at a crossroads, in which she had been the one to conjure it. Sometimes she wonders what that man sees in their fragile, complicated friendship; that being the least of her problems. Being here in Guadosalam, so far away from everything from the events of last week, makes it easy to forget it ever even happened. Pushing Tidus away by ending their relationship, surviving the invasion of Sin, hosting a vigil of all the lives lost― she thought that had been the end of it, at least for awhile.

But Baralai had to prove her wrong.

She bolted, at the high point of the meeting, right when he highlighted the primary causes of the Beckoning phenomena. He cited her actions, vanquishing Sin and then disassembling Vegnagun, as the two catalysts for the Farplane’s imbalance. After the dissolution of the Summoners, no one saw the point of continuing the Sending rites, therefore the pyreflies had no guide to usher them to the Farplane, thus overflowing the surface world with more fiends. Add Vegnagun and its leech of the Farplane’s energy to fuel its cannon, no wonder Spira wound up like this.

And then Baralai proceeds to flip that argument on its head, stressing the importance of Summoners and refuting the memory of Beclem’s cruel words.

“We need Summoners more than ever. They are responsible for recycling the energy that flows in our world, ushering the pyreflies of the deceased to rest within the Farplane. It was a grave mistake to believe Summoners are irrelevant then, and now we are paying for that ignorance in light of the Beckoning epidemic.”

Yuna felt shame, fear, and frustration all at the same time, the fact that she were to blame when she only did what she believed had been right. No one could have predicted this kind of turnout... not unless you were a suicidal psychopath the likes of Seymour. If Baralai’s statement were to leave that room, the people of Spira may turn on her, the leader of an unpopular organization of scapegoats. For that reason, she had been avoiding Baralai all day, brushing off Tromell and Kurgum's fretting concern, and Wakka and Paine's insufferable looks. But by the end of the day, she knew. Baralai never outright attacked her, only provided an objective thesis. His ability to separate his emotions from his profession, she wants to know his secret, because she can't do it, not anymore.

'Enough is enough. If I don't talk to him now, I'll never get around to it.' As much as she wants to avoid this, she must, and so she knocks, and she waits.

For a fleeting moment, she wonders: 'Is he asleep?' A part of her prays that he is, so she could use that as an excuse not to face him, but then she hears his voice answer, dashing her fickle, delirious hope to ashes.

“...come in.”

Yuna takes a deep breath, rewraps the cotton robe around her frame, and twists the doorknob, slipping inside. She finds him seated at a coffee table with his back turned to her, contemplating over the documents spread out before him, his hand busy with the pen.

“My apologies, Scisero. I meant to wrap this up earlier, but I happened to remember some things I wanted to write down…” Baralai does not even take a moment to fix the open collar of his silk bathrobe before he turns to face her, expecting her to be his Guado advisor. Now he stares at her in surprise, startled by her presence in his room. “Lady Yuna, good… Good evening.” He rises to stand, one hand on the edge of the table, where a thin stack of papers flutters to the floor. Embarrassed, Baralai stoops to recollect them. “Ah, sorry about that…”

“N-No, it's alright, I… it's me who should apologize…” Yuna manages a feeble reply, caught off guard by this rare moment of clumsiness from the most composed gentleman in Spira. She shouldn't find that cute, but she does, and so she stifles the smile.

Baralai straightens up on his feet, clearing his throat, setting the papers aside. “To what do I owe the visit?”

She watches him lean on the edge of the table, crossing his arms over his partially exposed chest, and she realizes how this must look. She came to his bedchambers in the dead of night, clothed in only a bathrobe and a sheer camisole. No wonder he acts so guarded.

She blushes, self-conscious.

“I… I wanted to apologize, for earlier… I ran out on your meeting, right when you reached the key point of your presentation. I'm sorry. You must be upset with me.”

“Upset? No…”

Yuna looks up at the sound of his chuckle, seeing his soft smile.

“I was worried. For some time, I thought I said something that upset you.”

“You did. I mean, I know you didn't mean to, but I― Did you really mean it? Did you… Do you honestly think… it's my fault, that we're in this current state…?”

“Lady Yuna, even the noblest of intentions can lead to negative consequences." His forthright words carry more impact than she ever expected they would, and she finds herself at a loss for words, uncertain of how she should feel. So adept at switching between the faces of friend and politician, that he often bewilders her. "I only stated the facts. I don't blame you or your actions; I praise you, in fact, for only you and your Guardians could have accomplished any of those feats. But it doesn't soften the truth, that we are all at fault for failing to notice sooner.”

His kind words render her speechless, and in the ensuing silence, Yuna catches him watching her, feeling self-conscious. She averts her eyes when he attempts to initiate eye contact, afraid that he can read her.

“We've come so far from where we used to be, and yet here we are, stuck at yet another impasse…” Baralai chuckles, thoughtful. “I abandon the Yevon name to start anew, and you go ahead and adopt it not long after. Coming from the woman who gave away a highly confidential and controversial sphere to the Youth League, I am quite surprised. What inspired this change of heart?”

Yuna remains silent on the matter, not ready to open that can of worms.

At her cold response, Baralai sighs. “...was that all you wished to talk to me about?”

“Ah, yes. Sorry to have bothered you… I… I, um, shall be going back to sleep now...”

He smiles, amicable. “It was not a bother. You can come to me anytime.”

His words make her pause. With one hand on the doorknob, she weighs her options.

She meant to walk out and never look back, but… They are alone, and she can ask him anything. When will there ever be another chance?

“...No. That wasn’t… everything...”

Dropping her arm, she scavenges the courage to turn around and face him. His posture has not changed; he still stands there, leaning on the table with his arms crossed. Only the expression on his face changed, regarding her his usual mild-mannered smile. “C-Can I ask you something? Your meeting today… it got me thinking…”

She walks forward, one tiny, timid step at a time, with her head bowed and her gaze glued to the floor, tracing the path of her feet. “Spira’s been thrown in a state of confusion, and you… somehow, you… You were able to make sense of everything.”

Now, Yuna raises her eyes, scavenging the courage to look him in the eye. “Could you help me understand something that happened in Besaid... one year ago?”

“Certainly.”

She blinks, startled by his immediate acquiesce. He accepted it without so much as a second thought that she wrings her hands, self-conscious. “I― I-I must warn you, it’s a long story… a-and, you must be tired―.”

“It’s quite alright.” Baralai smiles, appeasing her of her rapid, anxious thoughts. “I wouldn’t have said yes if I weren’t in the mood. Here. Why don’t you take a seat?”

He motions to the one other chair in the room, and she accepts his offer, sitting across from him as he follows suit. “Um, where do I start…”

“You can take as long as you need.”

She frowns. That’s just being far too gracious.

“...After we parted ways, I went back home after deciding to leave the Gullwings. I prepared myself to face the matrons, to speak with them about that day I felled Sin. I had been avoiding the truth over my victory against Sin, the dissolution of the Church, because…” She chokes up, sensing her throat constrict.

‘I was selfish. It was too personal for me to share... If I talked about it, I would have had to acknowledge that he―.’

“Lady Yuna?”

His concerned voice anchors her back to the present, and she swallows. “I-I couldn’t tell them. I wasn’t ready to tell them. For two years, I couldn’t… When I joined the Gullwings, even after I scoured every inch of Spira, I still couldn’t find… what I was looking for. I could have looked longer, I know I could. That thought crossed my mind many times, but… I felt that I looked enough. Our battle in the Farplane reinforced that feeling.”

Yuna stops to take a deep breath, losing the strength to continue. ‘I can’t stop here. I must…’

“But, the moment I arrived at Besaid, I… I found him. He was waiting for me. The person lost to me, my Guardian… The Fayth of Bahamut returned him to me, for one lifetime. It made me… so happy...” She trails off, sensing the tears well up in her eyes, and she hesitates to wipe them away, for fear that would expose her.

“Congratulations.” He smiles, reclining on the back of his chair with a casual cross of his arms.

To her relief, he spares her any comment on her tears, and she sniffles.

“Of course, I couldn’t... be happy for long. His return threw all of my priorities into question. I wanted a life with him, more than anything, but… I knew I couldn’t keep running away from my responsibilities either, so… While the dinner preparations for my homecoming were underway, I spent the entire night with them. I told the matrons everything, and they begged me to restore the idle clergy. I managed to avoid giving them a straight answer by telling them I needed time to think about it, and I…”

She pauses to giggle, overtaken by the fond memory. “I convinced the Besaid Aurochs to lend me their boat, The Ace, so I could be alone with… him…”

“Ah.”

His knowing smile makes her want to self-combust from mortification. “Y-Yes, I― I-It’s been so long, I― I just wanted to, erm…”

He laughs now, waving her off. “You don’t have to explain yourself."

“Yes, um… right.” Yuna clears her throat, composing herself. “Y-You can stop me anytime you want me to, in case you get bored or―.”

“No, no, continue. You have my undivided attention. After all, I want to believe there lies a point to all this gratuitous context.”

“...so, we, um, drifted out into sea, but not too far from Besaid, and we had… a long talk about everything. The passage of time between us, what I must do now that Spira has settled into the Eternal Calm. We ended up disagreeing… on a lot of things, actually. I shouldn’t be surprised. We always tend to disagree on things... The distance between us made it even worse... And then, a terrible squall hit Besaid overnight, and we were stranded somewhere farther out at sea where we couldn’t see any stretch of land. With our boat nowhere in sight, most likely destroyed due to the storm, we struggled to keep the aquatic fiends at bay, until eventually… I don’t know how, I passed out at some point, but we woke up on an island eerily similar to Besaid. We didn’t know where we were, and we couldn’t find any people, let alone a village, but... Little did we know at the time, we were marooned on an island summoned by an Unsent Summoner from a thousand years ago. A Dream version of Besaid, not unlike Yevon’s summoning of Zanarkand.

“As we continued to explore it, we found statues of old deities I never heard of. I don’t remember all their names, they were etched on the stone... Luchera, Guard, Kush… Ifarnal… to name a few. They were positioned in such strange ways that we couldn’t understand if they were meant to lead visitors astray or protect the children from getting lost.” Yuna stops there, becoming aware of her rambling. Because of that, she catches the rapt expression on his face, of him immersed in thought.

“Fascinating… To think there might have existed a completely different type of religion worshipped by the people who lived before Yevon’s time. Gods and deities separate from the Fayth we knew… How did their mythology come to exist…?”

She giggles, amused. "That’s something I never thought to ask. Maybe I should have...”

“Who?”

“Ifarnal. The Unsent Summoner I mentioned earlier. He inhabited the island with a woman he called his ‘Aeon Core,’ a different kind of Fayth. Not a stone statue, but a being who could exist after death. Like a fiend. She introduced herself to me, after I came in contact with her Summoner. He, Ifarnal… helped me restore Tidus to his original state, after he…” Yuna panics, cursing at herself for getting carried away with details.

‘Oh, no, I’m slipping… I shouldn’t have gone that far…’

“Tidus was… mortally wounded… by a bomb disguised as a blitzball…”

Baralai’s eyebrows rise at that. “Really?”

“Yes. Ah, one of Ifarnal’s other Aeon Cores, a human who was part machine… I think it was human… When it saw us, it probably confused us for hostiles trespassing on their territory. Its mind might have still been stuck in the time of the Machina War…”

“I am relieved you two made it out alive, then. But… What did you mean when you said, ah… Ifarnal, was it? He helped you restore Sir Tidus to his original state? You couldn’t have healed him with your magic?”

“I… didn’t have my staff! I was in a panic, and I couldn’t… put myself in a proper state of mind…”

“So, what did he do? This Unsent that felt compelled to help you?”

Baralai looks unconvinced, and she starts to sweat. She must divert him with another topic of interest.

“...ah, um… he bestowed upon me an ancient technique… of summoning, unique to Bevelle. Tidus is… not like the rest of us. He’s from Zanarkand, a dream version of Zanarkand that Yevon summoned with his city of devotees. He managed to exist outside this Zanarkand by riding Sin, and… because of the Fayth. They sustained his mortal life during his time in Spira.”

“...I see.”

He hums, thoughtful.

She doesn’t know if that’s a good thing, so she waits.

Even though Yuna only revealed a portion of the truth, would he be able to figure it out?

“Does that mean… His life is not his own, then? He can exist so long as the Fayth wishes him to, but even then… The Fayth departed from our world after you vanquished Sin. Why is that? They didn’t have to leave us, did they?”

“I only spoke to Bahamut at length, but they all seemed to say… That they were tired of dreaming. They wanted to sleep, after so many years…”

Back then, Yuna didn’t understand the depth of their suffering. Not an inkling. But now… She wishes she didn’t. She scorns them and criticizes them, even though she empathizes with them to avoid the glaring flaw in herself.

“That makes sense. I don’t blame them, honestly,” Baralai says with a wry smile, bringing her back to the present. “Hm... That begs the question, though...”

“What?”

“Is Sir Tidus a beckoning?”

Her breath stops, and she cradles her hand over her wavering heart.

“...No.”

“Did he die, then? In that explosion. You were being awfully vague about that part.”

As much as Yuna wants to flee from this room, she had been the one to dig this hole. Now she must lie in this bed that she made, hoping she can die in it. Anything to avoid his soul-piercing questions. “...Yes. But he is not a beckoning. I can assure you of that.”

“What is that, if not a beckoning?” He sounds more weary and annoyed than anything else, least of all condescending, but she can hear his sarcasm in the rhetoric. It evokes that feeling of guilt and shame, but most of all―

‘No. I don’t… regret anything…’

“He… is a dream. He’s my dream now, not the Fayth’s anymore. I’ve been… summoning him all this time. Ifarnal taught me how.”

“Lady Yuna.”

Baralai opens his mouth, about to say something, but then thinks better of it and sighs.

She senses he must be revising the words in his head. Soon, she will be wishing he never spoke at all.

“Lady Yuna… Why do you keep doing this to yourself?”

Ire rises in her throat, and she bites back the spiteful frown, incensed by his tone. “It’s my choice. I don’t expect you to understand.”

She knows she made a fatal mistake the moment those words flew out her mouth. The kind amber glow in his soft eyes darken to pitch black, and he looks away, propping his cheek on the end of his fist. The way he stares off into space frightens her, because she knows what kind of thoughts he tends to harbor. He once carried the shadow of Shuyin, after all, and she can see a trace of him now, of the rage outlined in the tension of his jaw, the intensity of his gaze.

“You love him, but you can’t find it within yourself to let go, can you?”

Something snaps within her, in which his words open the floodgates and she can’t hope to keep them shut any longer.

Yuna crumbles into herself, allowing her tears to flow free.

Yuna dreams of the ocean.

She dreams of sleeping, feeling the waves rock the wooden, creaking walls of The Ace in its gentle, strong embrace. As the boat sinks for the last time and Yuna sinks further into the bed, she stirs, curious by the sudden loss of swaying. Inside this sparsely-decorated cabin, sunlight filters through the porthole, blanketing her in warmth. Darkness swathes her surroundings the moment she opens her eyes, blinded by the candlelight bleeding into her blurry vision, before someone’s hand reaches out to dowse the wick. She stares up at the broad back of her bedside companion, watching him brood in silence. The scent of sweet smoke fills the room, tickling her nose, and she sneezes.

Sensing him turn to look at her, she feels shy under his fond gaze.

“Bless you.”

“Th-Thank you…”

“Did I wake you? If so, I apologize.”

“Ah, it’s alright… Um, I’m sorry… I fell asleep on you…”

“No worries. I assumed you were tired. You unloaded quite a lot of baggage there.”

She blushes, self-conscious, and before she can formulate a witty retort, he reaches out to stroke her head, brushing her long, messy hair out of her face. Her heartbeat races, and stills again when his hand begins to slow, projecting his timidity as well as her own. He lifts a lock of her hair between his fingers and touches the tail end of it to his lips, lingering on the gesture.

“Goodnight, milady. I shall see you in the morning.”

Scarlet heat blooms in her cheeks, and she squeaks in response. Thank the Fayth he cannot see her face in the dark.

Baralai smiles and drops his hand, standing to exit the room. In the quiet echo of the door’s close, another one opens, and she tries to deny it by burying her blushing red face into the pillow in vain.

‘I didn’t even finish telling him the full story. Oh, well… Maybe next time.’

#yuna #baralai #ff kiss battle 2017 #ffx #ffx-2 #ffx-3 #ff-will-#fanfic #for owlmoose #otherwise known as lifeofkj on tumblr #baralai/yuna

0 notes