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yinyankaarma · 1 year

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DOPAMINE ADDICTION

When I was small I always loved my parents and would always play with them or try to grab their attention,but as I became older they started to become distant from me and were always busy on the important things like work:⁠-⁠O. But it was kind of okay with me too as I also had my friends whom I thought knew me better and I too wanted my parents to stop bothering me, when I used to observe my parents in my childhood I always saw them doing the mundane things like working and fighting and being depressed,maybe it was different for other people,I thought this too in my childhood ,and I always envisioned myself being more productive than they ever were and making something from out of life of having something deeper like a purpose ( lol;⁠) ).

But now as I have lived almost 20 something years of my life ,I caught myself very often being engrossed in the tech world today ,on being my laptop for hours or sitting under my blanket and using my phone always ,that too or stupid baseless reels and posts ,and now I'm starting to think why don't I have the same motivation as I had when was a child and in school who wanted to read every novel possible and see all the critically acclaimed movies that throws my mind into a spur and I really start thinking about life.yesterday when I was watching a video as the same way as always ;⁠-⁠) I learned something, that's we as a human being now a days has developed a constant need for dopamine in today's world.all these tiktoks and memes are giving us these small time spans of adrenaline rush making us feel good ,and our body as a coping mechanism is making us crave more and more ,so that we stay comfortable.

But here arises the question? Have nature created us this way to crave things that are comfortable and most often do no Good to stop us from being hurt physically or mentally,like in my childhood I was always craving attention from my parents to feel good ,and that always kept me near my parents at home ,maybe that was a way of nature to make me as a baby to keep at home and mind my own business.

So,why do we all always keep defying nature and and starts making new goals to achieve things that obviously most of the times goes in vain,and maybe it would be a good thing for us if we didn't had any hormone that are keeping us engrossed in emotions and we all keep struggling to live a best life.

Or is it ,the way the nature always wanted us to be ,maybe the idea for hormones was never to keep us protected but to experience life .So that I can feel when I'm frustrated being wasting away my life or when,I make a routine and follow it for a few days and that also gives me calm after the long run,or when I hate my parents when they are fighting all the time but also love them when they try to make me and my brother laugh and treat us to good ice cream:⁠-⁠).

All being said it is true that we all are trapped in a dopamine addiction, may be it is by being on your phone all day or eating the carbs that you despise after gaining weight or when you are in peace when your boyfriend is giving you all the attention in the world but is the rudest man the next day. It may be anything, but if this path was chosen for us from the nature itself than maybe it is better to accept it and when the bad moments come in our life ,just know that we should be patient and let these moments pass and let ourself know that the good moments are always ment to come to restore the balance of energy in the world:⁠-⁠):⁠-⁠).

#lifegoes #dopamine #naturesway

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shamelessliarkickapow · 2 months

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Arrvatarr! The Last Arrbender! Chapter 3, part 1/3

Zutara pirates AU rated M... fer Might need to upgrade to E!

If you haven't read the first two chapters, read here on AO3!

(Remember now, chapter 2 ended with Iroh saying that thing down in the brig...)

The pirates lounging with bowls of hot grub stopped laughing when all the lanterns around the galley flared in a brief, bright whoosh. In their sudden silence, they could hear a distant shouting voice.

“And I thought Katara had an anger problem,” Sokka said with sort-of-joking awe. “At least she doesn’t light the place up when she goes ballistic.”

“I don’t go ballistic.” Katara thunked down her bowl on the long table so she could forcefully fold her arms and glare even more forcefully at her brother. “I just get tired of being the only one who does any real work around here!”

“And then you go ballistic,” Toph smirked at her bowl. Katara opened her mouth to snap something about how especially unhelpful some people really were, but a few words of that distant shout came through clearly.

“-fucking pirate!”

“Ten yuans he’s talking about Katara,” Suki said.

Toph banged the table with a fist, annoyed she’d been beaten to the bet.

“I mean, obviously,” Sokka huffed.

“Why would it be me?” Katara demanded, pressing one hand to her chest. “I heard pirates, anyway. You all need your ears checked.”

“I don’t know, Katara,” Aang said with a teasing smile. “He seems to find you a lot more interesting than any of the rest of us.”

“Probably because none of the rest of us were flirting with him,” Suki said, sipping from her wine and casting a sly side-eye at Katara - who was huffing and scoffing too much to manage a riposte.

“What was I doing?” Toph demanded. “Don’t get me wrong - Shouty Pants is all yours, Sugar Queen-”

“Hey!”

“-but I thought I was really laying on the charm this time.”

There was a brief silence as everyone around the table squinted at Toph and then each other.

“To what instance of charm are you referring?” Sokka asked with one extremely arched eyebrow.

“You know, the bullying and insults.”

Another pause, which Aang waded into. “I don’t know much about flirting, so I may be way off base here, but that doesn’t really sound right to me…”

“Hah, okay Twinkle-toes. What do you think flirting is?”

“I don’t know, being nice? Making the other person a little gift or something?”

“Just pay attention to what Katara does,” Sokka shrugged. “Since evidently she’s flirting with firebenders now.”

“Where do you think I learned the bullying-?”

“I am not!”

“Sokka, don’t be obtuse. She’s just flirting with fire princes.”

“Suki, I swear to La-”

“You all should have heard his crew trying to-”

“Shut up, mud slug, or you’re gonna be eating floor sweepings for the next month.”

“Heh heh, how would I know the difference?”

“Ugh! You’re all driving me crazy!” Katara stood in a rush and snatched her bowl of perfectly palatable food off the table. “I’m going topside to finish my dinner in peace. Sokka and Toph, you’re on dishes. Yes, you have to wash them, you can’t just earthbend them clean. Suki, feed the prisoners. Aang-”

She turned her fierce eye on him. He was watching her with those huge grey eyes, brow creased in trepidation. Katara gentled, just for him.

“Come up top when you’re done for your waterbending lesson.”

Then, she raked a seething glare across the rest of them and stomped off.

“Prince Zuko… I fear for your virtue.”

Zuko’s shoulders dropped and he gaped for a solid half-minute. His face became painfully hot. When he again regained the power of speech, he could only do so at great volume.

“What?”

The lanterns on the walls flared violently.

Iroh went on, by all appearances serious. “Pirates are notorious for such contemptible crimes, my nephew-”

“You did not-!”

“-particularly against the pure and righteous-”

“-trap us in this nightmare situation-!”

“-and perhaps it was your shall-we-say unsullied glow-”

“-because you were trying to maneuver me-!”

“-that drew the attention of such a blackguard as-”

“-into bed with a fucking pirate!”

Iroh dropped his voice again, scowling his performed disapproval. “-that devilish waterbender, Katara.”

Zuko began pacing even harder, hands fisted in his hair. This was the end. He was going to die imprisoned on this ship because his uncle had slipped unnoticed into dementia and Zuko, sentimental fool that he was, had followed him blindly into some kind of delusion.

“Honestly, Prince Zuko - I have seen cat-foxes watch sparrowkeets with less hunger and anticipation than I saw on that girl’s face this evening. On more than one occasion.”

Zuko paused and scanned the old man, dubious but unable to stop himself hoping. Because for a moment, Iroh sounded and appeared deeply genuine. Entirely sane. Then his eyes rounded and brightened again.

“And now that you are under her power, she could at any moment attempt to have her wicked way with you!”

“Uncle! Stop this charade immediately!” Zuko folded his arms and leaned back against the wall of the hull, glaring bleakly at the corridor beyond the bars. “We’ve lost the ship. The crew will be lucky to make it to landfall before running out of fuel and then they’ll be stuck in the Earth Kingdom. Why? Why would you do this?”

“The men will be fine - they can firebend into the furnace and limp the last of the trip if they must. We were going to lose the ship and the crew no matter what,” Iroh shrugged. “A metalbender? Unheard of! And a master waterbender at night? The odds were very much against us.”

“We didn’t have to swear any oaths. We could have just surrendered. Or better yet-” His voice rose as he shot the old man a vicious glare. “-we could have skipped being prisoners altogether and told them from the start that the Fire Lord won’t pay to get me back.”

“But then, my nephew, you would not be aboard their ship, and there would be no chance of you falling prey to that-”

“No more jokes! This is serious!”

“More so, I think, than you realize.” Iroh peered at him with a concerned line in his brow that had Zuko’s stomach clenching with a different kind of anxiety. “Life has not afforded you a great many enjoyable opportunities lately… and I just want to see you live a little before I pass on…”

“Don’t be dramatic,” Zuko sighed. “You’re in excellent health, Uncle.”

Iroh was quiet for a brief moment. “It’s a joke but also true, you know?” he said in his gentle way. “For so long, you have been withdrawn. You search, and you wait, and you deny yourself anything that might make life a little pleasant-”

“I grew my hair out.”

“Prince Zuko, that was four years ago.”

“It takes time!”

Iroh only peered at him with a sort of dry incredulity. Zuko huffed and glared at the far wall.

“I cannot believe that you trapped us with a crew of idiot pirates just because I refused to demean myself at any of your whorehouses.”

“Truthfully, I had initially intended to be the only hostage,” Iroh said with a shrug. “I figured, if you were free, you would be able to figure out a rescue. So long as I did not exert any effort into escaping and the escape was a success rather than an attempt, I would still be honoring my word… you know, sort of. Honorable enough for pirates!”

That was… a little comforting. At least this mess had started from a rational line of thinking.

“But then I saw that young lady’s face when you breathed fire.” A wistful little smile took Iroh’s mouth and he tugged his beard again. “She was impressed, my nephew. And interested. And I do not think that is a young woman who meets many men impressive enough or interesting enough to suit her.”

Despite knowing better, Zuko felt a thrill shoot through him. Because desire had certainly made its appearance on his end during their fight, and the thought that that fierce, confident, lovely girl might have felt the same attraction was tempting indeed.

He realized what he was thinking and shoved the notion away. “And so you decided I should be a hostage, too. On the incredibly slim chance that a girl who despises the Fire Nation might want to take a tumble with a prince of the Fire Nation.”

A disfigured, banished prince, no less.

“Do not discount the possibility! Perhaps she does despise the Fire Nation, but what better way to avenge herself against the specters of her past than to take out her frustrations on you, standing as a symbol for the royal lineage that has waged this war on her people?”

Zuko thought of a Water Tribe village reduced to stealing coal to survive the winter and rubbed his chest through his robe. It was still sore from her whip. There would definitely be a mark.

“She seems more inclined to take out her frustrations on me with her element rather than anything… intimate. Besides, the point is that we’re trapped now until they release us. Whatever that’s going to take.”

“Perhaps you should practice sounding happier about the prospect. Like this, whatever it’s going to take…”

Zuko fixed the old man with a disgusted, mortified look. Iroh shrugged.

“I’m just saying, if you’re going to win our freedom with your prowess, you might need to at least seem enthusiastic about the opportunity-”

“You’re delusional. It’s not going to happen.”

“Perhaps now would be an ideal time to discuss some techniques that could be instrumental to-”

“No, now is not the time!”

“You are right, of course. No doubt she will enjoy instructing you in serving her pleasure-”

“Auh!”

“-and your naivety will only add to your nubile enticements.”

“Nubile? Uncle, what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Perhaps it is destiny,” Iroh said, cheerfully dodging the question. “Your years of celibacy and monkish devotion to your quest have prepared you to be the perfect blushing target for that dastardly waterbender-” He scowled again, though it was belied by the sparkle in his eyes. “-whose depravity, I have no doubt, Prince Zuko, could sink to formidable depths.”

The tone with which he said it didn’t make it a warning so much as an enticing probability.

Zuko stared at his uncle for a long moment, too embarrassed and horrified by this conversation - and fascinated by the prospect - to formulate a response. Instead, he sank down against the wall to sit on the floor, his elbows on his knees and his palms covering his eyes.

The way he saw it, there were two possible ways this situation could play out. First, the pirates would find out they weren’t going to get paid and decide to release them. Not likely, but possible. The second and by far more likely possibility was they would find out and decide to hold Zuko and Iroh in traction until some other compensation could be settled on.

…And third - so unlikely it hardly rated on the list - the waterbender, Katara, would decide to take her price out of Zuko one way or another.

He abruptly remembered her smirking face as she stroked his jaw and pinched his chin.

Determined little thing…

Fire spewed through him at once. Her petty insults called for petty retribution - and Zuko imagined snatching up those pouting, mocking lips in a punishing kiss. He imagined how her curves might feel when he gripped them, stroked them, held them to him. He wondered if she would meet him as fiercely on that battlefield, if she would try as hard to subdue him as he meant to try her.

From her looks, that particular hunger and revulsion that mingled about her eyes and nose and bared teeth, Zuko hesitated to hazard a guess. He’d thought she might have been… almost… flirting with him… but it seemed more likely that was just how she talked to her captives.

Uncle was evidently convinced otherwise. But then, Uncle had a whole face. He could afford to be optimistic. Zuko had learned that, when it came to how women saw him, he was better off managing his expectations.

He hadn’t really found a lot of opportunities to so much as talk to girls during his banishment, and even when a chance presented itself, it was spoiled from the start. In the colonies, he was known for his disgraceful banishment. In the rest of the world, he was an invader - a crazy one, come to ask strange questions in his hunt for a legend. Every eye that fell on him saw his scar before anything else about him. There wasn’t a lot he could do to turn those kinds of first impressions into a rendezvous.

But he wasn’t a fucking monk. Zuko noticed girls almost constantly. Laboring on docks and in fishing boats. Swimming at distant beaches. Tending children and chores. And along rivers near villages in the Earth Kingdom, there were always women. They would stand on the banks and watch his ship or boat approach before vanishing into the woods or among the houses. Some, too bold to be so easily flushed out, would carry on with their work in the shallows, doing their menial tasks as his vessel passed by.

Those were his favorites. The women and girls who kept working as if he was not there, as if a Fire Nation ship was to be shooed off with a wave because her labors were more important.

By rights, their mundane lives should not have held any interest for a prince at all…

…and yet Zuko had a sense of them being in motion, striding toward the future before them while he remained static, ever reaching for impossible glory and grasping only smoke. It filled him with a hunger that had grown steadily more powerful over his years in exile. Hunger for life. For some mundane pursuit. For the chance to begin building something for himself.

But that was a separate desire entirely from the very un-monkish craving he felt for those village girls. It was worst when he came upon them roughing up their laundry. There was something about the physicality of it. The pink in their cheeks and the sweat clinging in their hair and shadowing their frocks. The brisk shimmy of hidden flesh as they scrubbed.

He only ever watched them from the corner of his eye and never through the spyglass. That had happened once accidentally years ago, and he’d been briefly entranced - and then felt incredibly bad when the girl spotted him and dashed off into the woods, laundry abandoned on the rocky shore.

Which was… just all kinds of messed up.

Realistically, there was no approaching those village girls. Zuko could only ever frighten them. They were like soaring birds - only to be appreciated from afar, and not too obviously lest they startle and flee.

But now, here was this waterbender. He looked at her - and she looked right back. A pirate out to take what she wanted, driven to fight for whatever future she desired. And yet she also possessed that soft strength he had been admiring from afar, a sweetness and gentleness as she looked after that weird kid. If she was doing laundry on a river bank, she would glare right at him and keep scrubbing until he fucked off. She might even come out onto the river to hurry him on his way. She was a whole different level.

Zuko wanted her in so many ways, it was hard to sort through. The prospect that she might pursue him was definitely too good to be true.

“Prince Zuko,” Iroh said gently, “it is perfectly normal for a young man to find his first dalliance intimidating. Why, when I was-”

“I am not,” Zuko growled as he emerged from the cover of his hands and glared at his uncle, “intimidated.”

It was the truth. He was skeptical and eager in equally excessive intensities. He was almost dizzy in the turmoil between pleasurable visions and crushing doubts. But he wasn’t intimidated.

Iroh peered back at him, all seriousness once again. “What do you intend to do?”

“Whatever I have to do to get us out of this.”

The old man’s expression brightened, but Zuko hurriedly pressed on.

“That’s probably going to mean offering some other compensation they want. Which… I don’t know what that is yet, but I’ll figure something out.”

Iroh raised a finger and opened his mouth to make some doubtless annoying suggestion, so Zuko kept going.

“In the extremely unlikely event that it plays out the way you think it will, that’s not gonna be a problem either. I’m ready. I just don’t see it going that way and I’m not stupid enough to try anything before I’m sure.”

“Good idea. Better to let her initiate. I am certain your shock and maidenly outrage will only heighten her appetite for you.”

“Maidenly outrage?” Zuko sneered. “Where do you come up with this stuff?”

Iroh smiled brilliantly. “Romance novels, my nephew. A man must be open-minded when in search of carnal delights-”

“Never mind. I’m sorry I asked.”

#zutara #zutara fanfiction #wip #this might turn into smut #idk #smut with a plot and jokes #lol lifegoals

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