#life-ruiner

[inkskinned]

you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

[arianagrandre]

my presence sweet and my aura bright, diamonds good for my appetite

[lasshoe]

I respect that you need to go home to your son, Ted. But I just want you to consider the possibility that this is your home.

[wexler-goodman]

happy 20th anniversary to these losers who apparently only got married for legal reasons and weren’t head over heels in love with each other for well over a decade before this occurred.

also, happy jmm day to all who celebrate 🥳

[lokisprettygirl]

The way he kept massaging the puppy's ears is all you need to know about him as a dog lover ❤️

[sonacava]

“one long hand was palm up on the blankets between us, as if in offering, or beseeching something of me. i reached over and set my hand in his. he did not seem to wake. strangely, i felt at peace.”

[doctorfunkensteins]

Mishawaka, Indiana Community Calendar with Adam Driver (x)

[gaphic]

i committed the cardinal sin (drew something to see how i feel about it) and now i feel like flying to california for a surgery consultation

oh boy

[dokidokitsuna]

The Hangman: The kingdom’s executioner, who, despite his nickname, seems to prefer beheadings. Along with this duty, he is responsible for disposing of any unwanted carcasses around the kingdom, taking his wheelbarrow by the butchers’ shops in the morning and the Ministry of Technology at night.

The Ministry is of the opinion that he himself was a discarded test subject who somehow survived, judging by the patterning of his scars. But, since he seems unable to speak, and follows orders unquestionably, it has concluded that the benefits of keeping him around outweigh the risks.

Lieutenant Tuff: A young member of the Dream Guard, the protectors and law enforcers of the kingdom. Despite his relatively high rank, Tuff has very few responsibilities, and spends most of his working hours playing pranks with the street children. He’s not opposed to helping the citizenry if he is directly asked, however, and has no problem abusing his privilege to bend the rules for them. Because of this, public opinion on him is mixed: he may be a nuisance, but at least he’s a charming and friendly one.

[jerimovich]

ayo edebiri + ebon moss-bachrach at the independent spirit awards for @milkshakemicrowave

[samsrowena]

SUPERNATURAL | PILOT Air Date: September 13, 2005

↓ tag list (asked to be added/removed!)

@passengerseatcas @waldrea @canadiandutchiefangirl @loveisnotapanickingbird @raytoroinmybackpack @saintedcastiel @universalcas @magdaclaire @my-people-skills-are-rusty @here-for-thee-gay-shit @wartyfrogfish @carveredlund @johnwatersbongwater @bloodydeanwinchester @deanabean @spiritmunie @petrichoravellichor @amaranthhiding @angelsdean @castiellesbian @thigholstercas @cosmosinfinity23 @hammyletto @rainsongdean @the-randomest-ofthe-fandomest @toobusytobebored @freakwiththeknifecollection @fangirlxwritesx67 @huntressandlioness1 @vwwingsandthings @thisisapaige

[livelivefastfree]

for you 🤲 it's them

[arianagrandre]

Ariana for Swarovski

[shortnotsweet]

THE THRILLING AND NOT AT ALL REPETITIVE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN MAN AND KID DANGER: “A CHRONOLOGY OF ENTIRELY TRUE AND HEROIC EVENTS COINCIDING WITH THE END OF HISTORY” [1] [2] [3] [4]

Henry Hart returns from Dystopia. He grew up and his hair grew back out, but it’ll take more time to get refamiliarized with the mundane.

[ Henry’s figure is ominously silhouetted, staring at Ray with the whites of his eyes and a glare of light where his heart should be. Ray smiles invitingly, and stands with his hands on his waist, wearing only a towel. A laundry basket sits next to him. Posters are mounted on the wall to his back, including Captain Man merchandise, motivational material, and a reference to The End of History and the Last Man. ]

Following the resolution of the Cold War, Francis Fukuyama argued in his 1992 political novel The End of History and the Last Man that global democratization and the expansion of Western, liberal values would bring about a post-war, post-development society. Democratization was the process in which civilization reached its final form; it would mark not only the end of communism, but the end of history. No more glorious revolution. No more hunger. The world could remain where it was. Fukuyama was, of course, wrong.

To be a hero is to know: there will be no end of history. You may hope for one, but you act as if it will never come, because it won’t. Otherwise, what is the point? There will be crime, and war, and hurt children. No amount of blood or money can save us for-ever. Your symbols cannot finish what has been started, but they can keep you alive until then; when you fight for long enough, it is hard to return to the repetitive things:

To living with people again.

To walking in the daylight without flinching, and, most importantly—

To laundry.

[angiepants]

art thou KIDDING ME, SIRE?????

[lokisprettygirl]

I see celebs wearing ugly clothes with all that money and I'm like at least Matt knows how to not get peer pressured by his stylists