#life: honey you’ve got a big storm comin.

[angelstrawbabie420]

I will light a candle for you and pray god eases your burdens. no one deserves such tremendous loss in such a short amount of time 🫂

thank you i really needed this today ngl ive been having a fucking absolutely horrific time w the grief like it is sending me up the wall. <3 i hope u are doing well anon 🫂

[anthonycrowley]

I FOUND IT I FOUND THE MONKEY’S PAW

[twiisted-king]

⊙ THE SPOT BF HC’s ⊙

➟ The Spot / Jonathan Ohnn X GN!Reader 🕳️

➟ NSFW / SFW ( he has such raw sex appeal )

➟ TW : Insecurities, Workplace Abuse, Body Image, SEX, & Murder :)

————————————————————————

⊙ PRE-COLLIDER

— Jonathan is PAINFULLY average.

— Sure his colleagues like him and he has a good standing with his superiors, But he just doesn’t have a lot going for him.

— Which is why he wonders why an angel like you loves him so much.

— He enjoys the domesticity of y’all’s relationship when he isn’t stuck at the lab or doing scientific research. Like make the man a nice home cooked meal and take a shower with him, it makes him happy beyond belief.

— He has quips. Jonathan just loves making you laugh and he’s actually pretty good at laughing at himself whenever he does something stupid. He knows you won’t judge him.

— Kind of obsessed? Besides work, you are all he thinks about and focuses on. He has plans for the future of your relationship ( MARRIAGE ).

— He’s the type of person to keep a picture of you on his desk.

— Adding onto the obsessed part, he can be possessive. I feel like that’s a given with him.

— Jonathan is insecure. He knows that there are a lot of more attractive, cooler people out there and he worries that he’ll fuck up one day and you’ll leave him. Please comfort him.

— Arguments are few and far between. He’s good at resolving whatever issues that may come up with good ol’ communication.

— He keeps you as far away from his work life as possible. He NEVER EVER wants you to get caught up in the messes that are his projects and he knows just how dangerous working with physics is. Plus Wilson Fisk might use you as leverage to get Jonathan to do what he wants.

— sex time boys :)

— You wanna have sex .. WITH HIM!? That’s kind of his instant reaction though he isn’t opposed.

— I don’t think he’s a virgin, But he’s not the most experienced. He might’ve had a few partners in college though that’s about it. I’m sure he had a few admirers at Alchemax though he was far too busy with working to care plus he had you.

— I don’t think he has a preference for who is dominant and submissive. If you want to edge him until he cries that’s cool! But he’s also chill with taking the lead and fucking you into submission.

— This man is PACKIN’. You can disagree with me all you want, But it’s always the dorky ones that have the most dick. He probably thought that he wasn’t big since he’s since all of these videos talking about how “ 6 inches isn’t big enough yadi yada “. So he was incredibly nervous taking his pants off the first time and he just sorta held his breath, waiting for a reaction of disappointment. He ended up being pleasantly surprised in the end of and was more than happy to shove his dick down your throat.

— His dick is skinnier than it is thick. Poor dude has an INCREDIBLY sensitive head and a prominent vein running up the underside of his shaft.

— Prefers positions where he can see your face. He thinks eyes are the windows to the soul and being able to focus on your expressions makes sex 100X more enjoyable.

— SIT ON THIS MANS FACE. Force him to take all of you inside his mouth and then ride his nose until you’re seeing stars.

— Jonathan let’s out the pathetic noises. He’ll whine, whimper, moan, etc.

————————————————————————

⊙ POST-COLLIDER

— honey, you’ve got a big storm comin’

— He becomes almost 1,000X more clingy and loving.

— He’s absolutely horrified at what happened to him and feels like he’s a burden to you now. He can’t even kiss you for god’s sake!

— Spot will get steal gifts for you in an effort to make up for having to date an idiot like him. He’s much more withdrawn and silent though he’s still prone to using humor as a coping skill.

— Once he realizes that you aren’t going to leave him is probably when he resorts to crime. He would never leave you as the main breadwinner no matter how much you can provide for y’all and will do whatever he can to make sure you are well cared for.

— He’ll never allow you to go out with him when he’s committing crimes. If you were to get hurt or worse ( ahem die ) he would probably never forgive himself.

— You are now his world and he must protect his world at all cost.

— He’s become even more obsessed with your face now that he doesn’t have a proper one. Kissing is a little awkward, But he still appreciates that you’re willing to be affectionate with him.

— You can be curious about his spots, But don’t expect him to let you go through one. It’s already difficult enough for him to control them and he doesn’t want to send you to a whole other universe.

— He has become much more confident as The Spot. He’ll make big risky choices and no longer wants to be a doormat. Arguments are still uncommon though he isn’t afraid to defend the crimes he commits because at the end of the day it’s all for you.

— Being a interdimensional criminal isn’t the most ideal job, But it all comes back to his love for you and don’t ever forget that.

— Has told you to “ Come check out his hole “ a couple of times whenever he figures out his powers, he is definitely aware of how dirty he makes it sound.

— time to get down and dirty in Jonathan’s holes :)

— For starters, he didn’t LOSE his dick it’s just kind of chilling in a void pocket. Go read Spotless on AO3, The Spot actually has a dick in that fic in a way that makes sense.

— He’s grateful you still want to be intimate with him. He can be a little awkward sometimes though he makes up for it.

— Becoming a supervillain has made this man an absolutely menace in bed. He’ll overstimulate and edge you to make sure you remember he isn’t just some lowlife scientist anymore.

— Jonathan’s rougher and manhandles you, forcing you into whatever position he wants.

— It’s a little silly if you imagine it with his regular voice ngl, BUT THE MEAN VOICE? oh my god.

— Repeats phrases like “ mine “ whenever he fucks you and let’s out this raspy little laugh whenever you tell him it’s too much.

— It’s a little pointless for you to pleasure him now so he solely focuses on you. Plus it’s a way for him to blow off steam after a fight with Miles.

— Could you have sex with one of his holes? Does he even feel pleasure anymore? I have many questions that I will ignore for the sake of fanfiction.

— Imagine getting choked by this dude?

— This motherfucker definitely still whimpers though as The Spot and you can’t tell me otherwise.

[archaictold]

𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 & 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥. 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘥𝘢𝘺, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 wisdom 𝘢𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘺. 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘵, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 lessons 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘵. 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘺, 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦'𝘴 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘨𝘪𝘧𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘭𝘭.

𝐙𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐀𝐍. — a genshin impact original character. a study on 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦, 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦, & 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘶𝘴 𝘢𝘴 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦. envisioned by diz.

app. stats. caard.

a humble anthropologist residing in the heart of liyue harbor, and an accomplished alumnus of sumeru akademiya. few could match zhilan’s enthusiasm for the old world of teyvat, nor could they rival his bright-eyed curiosity as to what makes us truly human.

do you enjoy history? sociology? perhaps positing the essence of the human experience or anything of that nature? good! because he LOVES to talk about this! sometimes he talks about this in Great Length, even! it’s earned him the nickname ‘motormouth’, because once he gets going you miiiight be in for a crash course in anthropology, totally free of charge!  ( he won’t quiz you, don’t worry. but he hopes you’re listening! )

“i can’t get spirited away from my home world, my manuscript is due!!”

grew up in the sleepy village of qingce, and sometimes finds city life a little overwhelming. ( honey, you’ve got a big storm comin’... )

unusually optimistic and exceedingly gullible. might blind you with his rays of positivity.

also remarkably good natured and kind. most would be hard-pressed to not notice his noble heart and his dedication to do what’s right.

believes that mankind is inherently good at its core with the capacity for evil, thereby making it limitless in possibility. this particular aspect of humanity is what intrigues him most.

like any scholar with a degree, he occasionally pilots on caffeine, 4 hours of sleep, and willpower. wait... is that the sunrise? oh god, wait hold on he’s almost finished here——

might have left the akademiya due to... *cough* reasons, but has ultimately found relative success in liyue harbor. though some researchers at the akademiya would scoff at this decision, zhilan sees his ability to share knowledge with others as the most invaluable merit of his career.

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 244

Into the Mystic/Under the Lake

“Into the Mystic”

Plot Description: Sam and Dean encounter a being that seems to drive its victims insane with its ghastly wails before devouring their brains

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: I don’t know what this being’s motivation is, but if I’m susceptible, I’m a goner

Oh Dean…how wrong you are about Cas. He’s not fine, he almost never is

This poor angel, thinks he’s got some big score finding Cas……..honey, you’ve got a big storm comin. Mmm, he actually does know it’s Lucifer. Misha’s gotta be having so much fun playing Lucifer

Dean makes the world’s worst dad jokes but I laugh every time. The latest victim they’re investigating was stealing viagra from other residents of the seniors home where he lived, and Dean goes “I know, what a dick move” and just waits for Sam to laugh. Sweetie, I’d laugh at your jokes

I think this is literally the first time one of the boys asked the other if the other is ok and they said no. You know what that is? Growth. They’re not gonna actually talk about it but at least they’re honest about it being bad

The fact that the episode started in Ireland does make me believe that its some sort of banshee offshoot. (Sometimes I love being right)

TWIST!!! The staff member Sam talked to earlier is not who he thought she was and might actually be the granddaughter of one of the residents (could she be the baby from the first five minutes?? That would tie up that loose end because I truly can’t see why we’d have that opening without it) she’s a hunter??

Knew it!! I’m so good at being right about this…or this show is very predictable

Lucifer is surprisingly good at being Cas.

This old woman the boys think the banshee is coming after next is a fucking delight. She’s signing to the other hunter that she has dibs on Dean and the other hunter can have Sam…saying she’s not much of a mountain climber anymore. Hello, ma’am? Do you know I would die for you?

I love the boys getting older. I love that they are discussing which of the Golden Girls they had the hots for growing up (Dean had a thing for Blanche, and Sam liked Sophia, if anyone was wondering)

Luci’s so proud of himself for tricking Dean into thinking he’s actually Cas

Honestly and truthfully, I swear…when Dean makes a genuine human connection with someone where he’s getting more than he’s giving, it’s really beautiful. Like, yea, he’s here to literally protect Mildred’s life, but the life lessons she’s giving him are really, really beautiful. Anyone who convinces Dean he wants to live is just…I’m gonna cry.

Noooooo, it’s not after Mildred. The banshee is after Deeeeeeeeeeean.

That was a nice ending. The hunter got her revenge on the banshee, Mildred was instrumental in saving Dean

I totally forgot there was the conversation about Dean’s connection or attraction or whatever to Amara. My brain went directly to Cas when Mildred said she knew Dean was pining for someone else

I’m glad they got the conversation out how Sam should have looked for Dean when he was in purgatory. Dean’s put it behind him but Sam’s never forgiven himself til now

But for real…why DID it go after Dean? What kind of vulnerable is he?? Is it emotionally?

“Under the Lake”

Plot Description: the Doctor and Clara try to help when an underwater base comes under attack

I just feel like what’s on the floor of large bodies of water should stay there undisturbed. Call me crazy, but maybe we don’t take strange crafts we find at the bottom of the ocean into our also underwater base. This is feeling a little Oceangate-y

It’s actually feeling like Oceangate, Silence in the Library, and Satan Pit all wrapped in one

It’s the “scientists (plus maybe some rich asshole funding the exploration) find something somewhere they shouldn’t be and get picked off one by one” plot…istg if the rich asshole is the only one making it out alive with the Doctor and Clara, I’ll scream

It’s also a “the TARDIS decided they would come here” plot, which to be fair is a fair number of them

Well, I suppose it’s a good thing that the physical objects the ghosts carry can’t go through walls wit them

What an odd coincidence that both of today’s episodes featured a deaf character. I wonder if she can read lips…which I only really say because these ghosts are saying something no one is capable of deciphering, especially through sound. But if this character has experience reading lips, she’s going to be instrumental to saving everyone

Omg…one, of course the rich asshole character is in the oil business, and of course the deaf character is next in command after the guy who died and became a ghost……did…that

OR WHAT IF ITS LIKE THE GHOSTS FROM THE CHARLES DICKENS EPISODE

This one woman on the crew just really loves watching the Doctor monologue. Just, like, in a “this man is one of my heroes and I’ve heard so much about him and everything he does and I’m finally in his presence and I get to experience it for myself” way

Not flash cards reminding the Doctor how to show empathy and compassion 💀

You know it’s bad when the Winchester brothers are being more open about their emotions and problems to each other than the Doctor and his companion😐

OH HELL YEAH!!! Rich asshole got picked off next

This poor man was not cut out for ghost hunting

God. For a second I thought they were really going to kill off the interpreter

Ok FINE. This operation is not as ill thought out as Oceangate

I hate these stupid sunglasses

Remember…no, I was about to take back this operation being better than Oceangate, but who would have accounted for ghosts? I mean, honestly. Aliens, sure, but ghosts?? The whole base is flooding because the ghosts have rigged some kind of thing on a thing in the base

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE TARDIS WONT GO NEAR THE GHOSTS

TWO TWO PARTERS IN A ROW? I don’t mind the occasional two parter, but this is kind of ridiculous….and actually, if you skip over the Christmas special, it was three in a row. What are we doing?!

We end with the Doctor going into the past before the flood that created this lake and leaving Clara at the base with part of the crew, but oh no, what’s that? The Doctor is one of the ghosts now?

Just tell a more contained story! I don’t want to wait til Fridayyyyyy

[im-no-jedi]

MLWTBB: This Isn’t Goodbye

Part 12 of the “My Life With The Bad Batch” series, a (mostly) canon compliant self-insert story set in “The Bad Batch”

rated: M warnings: drowning, discussions of sex, implied character death, attempted suicide, implied sex relationships: Hunter/self-insert, Omega & self-insert (adopted siblings), The Bad Batch & self-insert chapter word count: 1200+ words

✨MLWTBB masterlist✨

summary: Hannah is confronted by a long-kept secret of hers that she refuses to bring to light. and after the Bad Batch take on a mission that goes horribly wrong, Hannah experiences one of her worst fears imaginable, bringing her to a breaking point of seemingly no return. everything that she’s faced up until this point will culminate into a life-changing moment that will affect the future for her and the group of Clones that she’s adopted as her new family.

notes: oh boy, here we are. it's finally time. sorry it's been so long y'all. I got hit with writer's block REAL bad for a while. but I'm back and ready to inundate y'all with MAJOR feels. this is going to be my version of the season one finale (episodes 14-16), so expect lots of drama and many tears. in fact, I'm going to be exploring some pretty hard and difficult themes in this one, which is why I've chosen to give it a mature rating (among other reasons, if you look at the warnings 😏). I hope y'all enjoy this journey of emotion and self-discovery that I've created 💙this story begins with a prologue that pretty much sets the tone for the entire story. if this part makes you cry, then hoho, honey you've got a big storm comin' 😜

A/N: this story has not been proofread by anyone other than myself. so apologies for any uncaught errors 😬

Prologue

_____________________________________________________________

I am not afraid.

I take to the skies like a bird in flight. Though I am without wings, I soar. The skies are clear. The sun shines on my face. The wind guides me. 

I am free.

Beneath me, green grass grows and colorful flowers bloom. Rolling hills ascend. The beauty of nature in splendor all around me. 

I am at peace.

And... I am alone.

Suddenly beside me, I see them. Faces of those I have lost. To my left, my parents, hand in hand and smiling. To my right, my sister, bright and cheerful. They fly with me, no concern on their faces. We are together. We are happy. 

I am free. 

I am at peace.

I look at my sister. Her smile begins to fade. A familiar sadness appears on her face.

No. Not again.

I look to my parents, but they are no longer at my side. Hand in hand, they soar higher into the clouds, to heights I cannot reach. I call for them, but no voice is heard. I reach for them, but cannot move. To the stars, they are lost.

I turn back to my sister. She begins to drift. I reach for her, but still cannot move. By some unknown force, she is pulled away from me, still reaching for me in desperation. But I cannot stop. My trajectory is set. I blink, and she is gone.

I am alone again.

But I am not afraid.

The grass grows dark and withers. The flowers wilt and crumble. The hills rise further into the air. The ground becomes ashy and burnt. 

I know this place.

A gust of wind ruffles my hair. I look to one of the mountains and see a shape emerge. A starship. A familiar ship. Their ship. 

With newfound speed, I fly to them. My new family. My boys. My baby sister. My love.

I fly beside them, matching their speed. Over and past the mountains we fly. The mountains give way to colorful streets and a celebration below. 

We are together. 

We are happy.

I am free. 

I am at peace.

A shadow passes over my face. I look to the skies. The clouds grow thicker. Denser. Darker. The wind blows harder. Faster. Stronger.

Ahead of us, the storm rages. A storm that will surely end us all. 

I tell them to turn around, plead with them to not go. But my voice is lost to the wind. Onward they continue, pushing further towards the storm.

No. Not again.

I follow them into the storm. The rain hits my face, and I sputter. The wind hits my body, and I stutter. The thunder rattles my bones, and I shudder.

The ship presses on. 

I am losing them.

But I... I am not afraid. 

I...

A flash of light. A bolt of energy. A crash of thunder.

I am falling.

There is no ground beneath me. A vast ocean rolls with tenacity. 

I cannot swim. 

With all my might, I try to fly, but the wind no longer guides me forward. Down to the roaring waters below, I plunge.

I shut my eyes. I hit the waters. The sensation shocks my eyes open.

To my surprise, I do not sink. The waters below and storms above continue to rage, but still I do not sink.

Another flash of lightning. Then I see it. The Marauder. No longer in the air, but sinking into the water ahead of me. 

With all my strength, I swim for them. But I cannot swim. I cannot save them.

The waters push against me as I press on, all sensibility gone. 

Please, I cannot lose them. 

Waves crash over me. The ship continues to sink. 

My vision blurs. The ship is gone. A city on flames appears in its place.

I am consumed by the waters.

Try as I might, I cannot swim. The light is fading. I let myself fall. 

I have nothing left.

Then I see them. In the faint bit of light surrounding me, I see them. My boys. My baby sister. My love. 

They are sinking. And I cannot swim.

With all my strength, I push. I try. But I cannot move. I cannot swim.

I cannot save them.

One by one, they disappear into the dark waters below. First Wrecker. Then Tech. Then Echo. 

My boys are gone.

I see Hunter near my side. I can reach him. He’s so close. But still, I cannot swim. I reach for his hand, but it slips out of my grasp. I want to scream. Into the darkness, he is lost. 

My love is gone.

Above me, a brighter light begins to shine. I can see her. Omega. My baby sister. She reaches for another figure sinking into the water. From the light, I can see him. A trooper clad in dark armor. Somehow, I know him. 

He continues to sink, the darkness consuming him faster than the rest. Omega reaches for him, but cannot save him. Like a hand formed out of the darkness, the void consumes him and he is lost.

Omega cannot save him.

With newfound strength, Omega swims towards the darkness, towards the one who was lost. 

I want to shout; I want to stop her. 

But I cannot swim.

I begin to sink. The light begins to fade. Omega is disappearing from my sight.

I... am afraid.

I open my mouth. I scream. I call for my baby sister.

I am consumed by darkness.

I am alone.

I am afraid.

*********************

With a loud gasp, Hannah suddenly jolted awake in her bed. The covers were knotted up around her. Sweat dripped from her face, and her body shivered uncontrollably. Her breaths were short and hard. She was terrified.

After a moment of staring at the ceiling, she shot up straight into a sitting position. Her vision blurred, and she nearly fell backwards again from wooziness. Her entire body continued to shake as she panted. For a moment, it felt like she was still dreaming. 

Quickly, she looked around the room to make sure she was where she was supposed to be. The sun hadn’t come up yet, but it was close. From the dim light, she could see familiar artwork of various creatures on the walls. Crates topped with random clutter and precious collectibles lined most of the room. Aside from the messed-up bed, everything in her room was the same. 

Then she noticed some of the pillows from the bed had been knocked away. Brownie laid near her side, crammed into one of the pillows, while Tula had tumbled in-between Hannah’s legs. But she couldn’t see Grumpy Pants. Where was Grumpy Pants? 

She began to panic a bit more before finally noticing the beloved Loth Cat plush further off to the side of the bed, on the verge of falling off.

Without moving, Hannah reached for her plush toy, worried for what might happen if she went too far off the bed. Grumpy Pants came to her, resting gently against her hand. Hannah pulled her beloved toy to her chest and began to sob, tears falling onto the scowling face of the Loth Cat.

She felt so alone. And very afraid.

[next chapter]

[fishsouper]

life is just the “honey, you’ve got a big storm comin” vine

watching everyone who hasn’t finished episode six being all giddy and joyful,,,

feeling like an old man looking at the youths and sighing because soon they too will know heartbreak,,,,

[bigbandzombeaverscreditroll]

eating disorders are disgusting and awful and also terrible and traumatizing plus atrocious, despicable, and ugly

[missingn000]

wait why does yuuta hate toji so much 😭😭

hm

minor spoilers below cut

well let’s think this through. 

long answer: yuuta -> unconditional loyalty to getou. as such, his utmost priority is getou’s safety and happiness. who destroyed that the most, by his actions serving as the impetus for getou’s spiral and subsequent adoption of twisted ideals that yuuta struggles immensely with, and culminating in getou’s belief that he’ll have to sacrifice himself to achieve his goals? it was toji. add to that toji fighting and defeating getou twice, physically and emotionally scarring him for life, and it’s an instant spell for disaster. how could yuuta possibly accept that? he can’t. yuuta will stop at nothing to protect getou, and to him, toji is the biggest threat.

short answer: toji hurt getou, perhaps more than anyone else. hurting getou even remotely is completely unacceptable to yuuta under any circumstances, so what toji did is basically a cardinal sin. 

in summary: @ toji, honey, you’ve got a big storm comin’

[rpmemestorehouse]

"You Could Stop at Five or Six Stores” Starters

Change wording as needed

“Hi, my name is [Name].”

“You could stop at five or six stores, or, just one.”

“I don’t need friends, they disappoint me.”

“I feel like a deer in the headlights of love.”

“Honey, you’ve got a big storm comin’.”

“Can I ask you kind of a weird question?”

“I am the QUEEN of the universe.”

“The waves part, and they engulf me and the water is warm.”

“I can see the Statue of Liberty from here!”

“I can’t STAND IT when she touches me.”

“People say, that time heals all wounds.

“Shut up. Just shut up. Don’t say a word. I heard enough from you last night to last me a lifetime.”

“I’m about to walk out that door and explain to that man out there why I don’t have a home no more.”

“I’m not as desperate as I thought I was.”

“[Name] IS trying, and failing in a big way.”

“I saved your life, now you’re mine for life. Darling.”

“My wife has been talking about taking a vacation to Hawaii next year.”

“When I was a child, my auntie used to come to stay with us. We were a trifle wild, our spirits would just, run away with us”

“Of COURSE I’m not in love with him! He’s just convenient.”

“He’s inside the closet. I had him...stuffed.”

“Look, if we don’t leave now we’ll miss the train!”

“And by the way, the next time I send an audience research report around you better all read it! Or I will sack the fucking lot of you! Is that clear?”

“I want him, and I know you can’t keep him forever.”

“That always puts the fear of God in me.”

“That’s YOUR affair. A bum. That’s what he is. A bum!”

“Oh damn! It’s nothing! It’s stupid!”

“I bought this black dress to go with those black shoes which I forgot to pack.”

“I have six other pair of shoes, two of which are running shoes in case you’re up for a little game later.”

“Joe Banks. 82 years young, has come to this pond for the last 17 years to feed the ducks. But last month, Joe made a discovery. The ducks. Were gone.”

“What did you think I was gonna say, I mean, what, did you think, I was going to say?”

“Put brass tacks on your shoes and know. Where. To. Kick.”

“I loved him he asked me to have a baby and then I said, no. Then he got hit by a bus.”

“I’m not in love with you, I can’t pretend that I am.”

“That was when we were younger [Name], we’re not young anymore!”

“You used to be funny.”

“The man was a fool! But don’t make a MURDERER out of him!”

“Oh god...I wanna die. I want to die.”

“Other guys’ll just feed you lines! But I’ll take you to Micky DEE’SSS!!!”

“They call him “the Sandman” because he likes to put people to sleep.”

[sxvethelastdance]

You know I'm sending you the shaolin boys for this ship meme XDD (whichever versions)

Okay so, this actually all works out because someone else sent me a LiuLao ask XD This post will be for our 2021 boys!

General:

Rate the Ship:   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last?: They'll follow each other to the netherrealm and back. I don't know what unit of measurement that constitutes.

How quickly did/will they fall in love?: A routine case of "I fell in love with my best friend." It took them until they both were grand champions to kindle their relationship.

How was their first kiss?: Careful and clumsy, but so sweet.

Wedding:

Who proposed: I wanna say that they did this both at the same time. They're dumb boys who are in love and too eager to get it out

Who is the best man/men?: Kung Lao is the best man ever :)

Who is the braid’s maid(s)?: Sorry, no braids here. Neither of them have enough hair.

Who did the most planning?: Planning to be together? Both of them!

Who stressed the most?: Neither of them! No stress if no wedding

How fancy was the ceremony?: Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big. (They're Shaolin, venues are not a necessity for sentiments shared!)

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding?: The whole of Outworld, Master Feng, literally anybody at all because their wedding was literally just the two of them proclaiming their love and the link that would bind them for the rest of their lives.

Sex:

Who is on top?: Kung Lao mostly. But see. Every now and again Liu Kang wants to take care of him and make him feel loved/appreciated. That's his other half, you guys.

Who is the one to instigate things?: You would think it's Lao but cmon... Look at Kang's temperament, you can't tell me he's not a dommy bottom. Seriously though, having Liu Kang initiate is the best way to put agency back in his hands. He's the one dictating the terms of this, choosing to give this part of himself to Lao because he's earned his trust. No one else could hope to get this close without getting burned alive.)

How healthy is their sex life?: Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they?: Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last?: Depends on the time of day, you know? Busy days make their encounters a flushed frenzy of punch drunk passion in the broom closet. Quiet nights make for a much slower pace

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms?: Yep! E Q U A L I T Y

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it. ( I want to say that while they are rowdy young men in the prime of their lives, they take things pretty carefully. Liu Kang's past is pretty fraught with rough handling, y'know? They would have to build up to that kinda play at a later point in their relationship if they did it- doesn't matter WHO is on the receiving end.)

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do?: No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally?: 0

How many children will they adopt?: 0, Mortal Kombat is a full time responsibility! No time for kids

Who gets stuck with the most diapers?: Kang, he's the temple medic.

Who is the stricter parent: I wanna say that hypothetically, Lao would be. He knows all the tricks.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school?: Kung Lao in "Do as I say, not as I do" fashion

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)?: Everybody packs their own lunch here, but Liu Kang helps

Who is the more loved parent?: They're not parents

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings?: Let's be real, Liu Kang would fit right in at a PTA meeting. The amount of snarky shade wrapped in courteous pleasantries.

Who cried the most at graduation?: Let's be real, they'd both be sobbing like babies.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law?: Liu Kang

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking?: It's equal, Shaolin life! Kung Lao makes the more elaborate dishes though

Who is the most picky in their food choice?: Liu Kang. Once you figure out that you can actually CHOOSE what you're eating, you get some preferences yknow?

Who does the grocery shopping?: The food's locally sourced

How often do they bake desserts?: Not often, it's usually sweet rolls.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater?: They're both vegetarians #Shaolinstyle

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner?: Kung Lao

Who is more likely to suggest going out?: Y'know? I think they're both the 'dinner in' type. It'd have to be a friend that suggests it.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking?: Liu Kang. Not because he's a bad cook, but if you let him use his fire to save gas/firewood... Honey, you've got a big storm comin.

Chores:

Who cleans the room?: Both of them, the Masters demand it.

Who is really against chores?: Kung Lao, because he's a lazy daisy

Who cleans up after the pets?: Both of them, but mostly Kang because he keeps snatching up stray cats

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug?: Okay, now that's just a question for someone looking for a lashing... Kung Lao-

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over?: Liu Kang, he's a courteous host!

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning?: Money? in my shaolin temple?

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths?: Kung Lao

Who takes the dog out for a walk?: They switch

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays?: That's a good question! I wanna say that it's not often, because I don't understand the nature of holidays and Shaolin life. I'll have to get back to you on that.

What are their goals for the relationship?: To fight for the fate of the world, die for it if necessary. To go together, or not at all. It's a love that's born of two people who have had very few choices in their lives, choosing each other. They're the only choice they've got.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon?: Temple life/their internal clocks demand that they get up super duper early... Unless.

Who plays the most pranks?: Oh, you haven't heard about the LiuLao prank war? My friend.

[shokobuns]

ship ur moots 😼

RO?? OK?? BET????

note �� i am sorry if i left anyone out, but i’ve included people that i have interacted with more often/recent on this account :) 

@shrtorizawaa – bokuto kotarou

→ listen, vee, baby, LISTEN.. you are such a sweetheart and i thoroughly enjoy ur kpop tiktoks even though i have no idea who tf ur sending, BUT YOU AND BO WOULD VIBE SO MUCH! idk i can see bo trying to learn how to do a bts choreo to make you happy and it absolutely is heart swelling. you two in a relationship is like sunshine all around AND i know damn well ur ass would b shaking at every post quarantine party. this would also deadass grab ur bootycheeks excitedly, but it’s somehow wholesome?? anyways, pls master shifting just for him soon.

@himbokutoes – miya atsumu

→ yes, izzy, this is lowkey because of the dilf conversation, but AHHHHH! you’re obviously super nice and super friendly and u have this super warm vibe around you. while atsumu is also a sunshine man, he’s also canonically kind of a jerk so you got these two bright ppl coming together and i can see a chaotic ass time. he can also b super protective, but not in a super weird possessive way, he just always wants you to be safe and comfortable and generally that is not hard because he is a 6’2 athlete. oh and when yall have kids, honey u got a storm comin.

@sugawaaras – oikawa tooru

→ ro, i sat here, right. i sat here and said who is going to play the attack on titan roblox simulator with her. my brain said TOORU. i know he’d have the best fucking frozen commentary of all time, I FUCKING KNOW IT, and oh my god he is such a bad singer. he is a TERRIBLE SINGER, yet you choose to endure hearing him sing let it go and fuck.. your ears literally fucking bleed. he’s the type of person to be on a roblox game with you and it has a life bar right, so he jokingly hits you. so then you fucking kill him.

@getoskitten – geto suguru

→ based on what you’ve reblogged and our many conversations.. YOU LIKE TOXIC MEN and i am so sorry to all u geto fuckers out there (i mean i don’t blame u guys, i would fully sit on his face), but the unholy things this man would do to you just screams sum sort of toxicity. and based on what you’ve rbed (yeah i can see u bitch), the shoe fits. also, he prolly lives for public sex, i just know it.. this man takes u anywhere and anytime he wants.. luv u, vi!

@sleepyrintaro – suna rintarou

→ whenever ur in my inbox, u always sound the absolute sweetest and it makes me super happy kekeke. i think suna, though he might seem more disinterested and aloof on the outside, easily warms up to ur sweetness once it’s just the two of u. vv cute :)

@kuroosusagichan – kuroo tetsurou

→ i was thinking, “hmm, who has the fattest fucking balls around?” my answer was kuroo tetsurou. he got a ton of semen in that sack and they’re big brain semen too.. i’m telling u.. each and every one of those little fishies have the potential to cure cancer..

@kanajous – kita shinsuke

→ oh man, kita is the type of guy to hear u talk about the things ur super passionate about and it’s the absolute cutest. this man lives 4 rambles and i think it’s super cute :)

@gojology – gojo satoru

listen, you write gojo.. SO WELL.. i fucking cried laughing at 2 am when i read that “are you smoking cock” line because why can i hear him saying that shit… i swear to god i couldn’t breathe

@rintarhue – sakusa kiyoomi

→ your smaus are absolutely fucking chaotic and I LOVE IT HERE n i also feel like that means ur super funny and u type shit in all caps. sakusa? SAKUSA USES AUTO CAPS LIKE A FUCKING SERIAL KILLER,, you have to urge him to turn it off and he also definitely saves your wholesome memes on his phone.

[heroofshield]

Omnigel and Omniblade for your Sheps and Ryders?

@the-wip-project

Omnigel - What strategies do they prefer to use when trying to solve problems?

Rose: She'll try to have all the information before solving something, trying to look at the big picture and what the best solution might be.

Jason: Goes into 'crisis/problem solving mode' and makes decisions based on the information he has. Sometimes it works, but more often then not the 'shoot from the hip' attitude lands him in more trouble than before.

Annabel: "Can I shoot it? Yes/No, okay let's go." She flies by the seat of her pants and hopes it works out.

Scott: Scott would settle everything by committee if given permission to do so. Boy does not know how to make a snap judgement to save his life. He'll get everyone's thoughts on the subject before picking the best option and confident that it'll work out.

Omniblade - How temperamental are they? Do they show their anger or keep it hidden? What’s the fastest way to provoke them?

Rose: She's pretty even tempered, it takes a lot to piss her off (although by ME3 that's getting shorter and shorter) but when she's angry you can tell only if you know what to look for. But mess with anyone on her ship or someone she considers a friend? Honey, you got a storm comin'.

Jason: He's gotten into bar fights over the stupidest stuff. Growing up on the streets taught him that he needed to either be the biggest or have the hardest punch, so he decided to do both. When he's angry you'll know pretty quickly because he'll either throw a punch or shove you out of the way to get to the person who started it. If you want to get clocked then just say something like who the best baseball team is or go after someone he cares about.

Annabel: She would just like five minutes without everything going to hell please. She could let her anger consume her, but chills the fuck out with yoga and beating things up. If she goes quiet when you piss her off, you should be worried. If you want to provoke her, pointing out a character flaw is the quickest way to get a fist to the face.

Scott: He’s like the chillest dude in the cluster (minus those guys on Kadara with the Space Pot). Nomad busted? Oh well, we can wait for Gil to repair it. Sloane threatening him? Another day at the office. Kett attacking out of nowhere? Cool, more target practice. But when he gets angry, you can tell because his posture changes and he just stares at you. The quickest way to provoke him is to talk shit about Alec Ryder or his crew, then you’ve got a problem.

[archaictold]

ZHILAN.  ———  a genshin impact original character.

a humble anthropologist residing in the heart of liyue harbor, and an accomplished alumnus of sumeru akademiya. few could match zhilan’s enthusiasm for the old world of teyvat, nor could they rival his bright-eyed curiosity as to what makes us truly human.

do you enjoy history? sociology? perhaps positing the essence of the human experience or anything of that nature? good! because he LOVES to talk about this! sometimes he talks about this in Great Length, even! it’s earned him the nickname ‘motormouth’, because once he gets going you miiiight be in for a crash course in anthropology, totally free of charge!  ( he won’t quiz you, don’t worry. but he hopes you’re listening! )

“i can’t get spirited away from my homeworld, my manuscript is due!!”

grew up in the sleepy village of qingce, and sometimes finds city life a little overwhelming. ( honey, you’ve got a big storm comin’... )

unusually optimistic and exceedingly gullible. might blind you with his rays of positivity.

also remarkably good natured and kind. most would be hard-pressed to not notice his noble heart and his dedication to do what’s right.

believes that mankind is inherently good at its core with the capacity for evil, thereby making it limitless in possibility. this particular aspect of humanity is what intrigues him most.

like any scholar with a degree, he occasionally pilots on caffeine, 4 hours of sleep, and willpower. wait... is that the sunrise? oh god, wait hold on he’s almost finished here——

might have left the akademiya due to... *cough* reasons, but has ultimately found relative success in liyue harbor. though some researchers at the akademiya would scoff at this decision, zhilan sees his ability to share knowledge with others as the most invaluable merit of his career.

[youngbloodbuzz]

I am here, she thought to herself. I am here. And she began to climb. 

This honestly made me so emotional. Dani finally feeling so present and herself ☹️

When Dani suddenly turned to bury her head in the crook of Jamie’s neck, she heard Jamie suck in a quick startled breath.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Her other hand drifted tentatively into Dani’s hair, pushing it back so she could press a hesitant kiss to Dani’s forehead.

I love the choices you both made about how they came together. It wasn’t a huge, dramatic confession. It was like coming home.

He glanced at the clothes she wore. "Did you stay the night?"

Finally Dani replied, "Yeah. Is that -? Is that okay?"

And he went without a care in the world.

Protect Mikey Taylor at all costs.

He seemed to take his time absorbing this information. “Is it right - here?”

🥺

Jamie dug around in her back pocket and pulled out two dollars. She held it towards him. “Go play in traffic for a bit.” 

I love Jamie so much 🤣🤣 and I love her relationship with Mikey.

And the next item Jamie pulled from the same bag was a jar of strawberry jam

The way Jamie pays so much attention to Dani and how she’s feeling and what she likes. KILL ME.

Rolling her eyes, Jamie called back, "Did you even try to get hit by a car?"

🤣🤧

Dani pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes and tried to stifle a sob before it could escape. 

Still so much guilt 🥺 and unfortunately her feelings for and attraction to Jamie are all tangled up in there.

A hand dropped to grasp at Dani’s waist, and for a moment Dani thought she was going to be gently guided away, only to be held more firmly in place. 

I LOVE THEM!!!!

It didn’t matter that yesterday Dani had upended her whole life, because this was real, this drowned out the nausea in her gut from the night before, this was an anchor she could tether herself to, even for just a moment. 

Jamie has always been such a grounding presence for Dani. And vice versa.

Dani could feel the tremor beneath Jamie’s skin, the trembling undercurrent in her voice. "But I don't want to fuck this up. We can take this one step at a time. All right?” 

Jamie is putting up such a brave and calm front but she must also be freaking out 😭 the whirlwind and the disbelief…. LIKE THATS THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE IN YOUR HOUSE KISSING YOU. Wild.

The house was quiet in its morning slumber.

Love the imagery. Hill house vibes.

Mikey was kind enough to only crinkle his brow briefly in bemusement and then shrug. “Sure.”

🤣 Jamie has taught him well.

Dani nodded and met Jamie’s eyes, grayer somehow in the pale morning light that washed through the curtains. 

The way I read “grayer” as “gayer”

Still works.

Dani followed them, sinking slowly into her designated spot as the pair piled the table with necessities as they bickered to themselves

She has a designated spot 🥺

Also I love that they acted like it was just another one of their sundays.

Quiet concern and softness there that Dani didn’t know what to do with, didn’t know if she deserved it. 

You deserve everything and more!!!!

Mikey batted away her hand and retreated with a muttered grumble, “Could just tell me when you wanna talk alone.” 

Honey you got a big storm comin’

“No, I - “ Dani stumbled, “I’m fine. I just - “ she swallowed thickly and drew in a soft breath “ - I missed you this morning.”

🥺

“Stupid question. Sorry.” 

And before Dani could speak a word or even shake her head, Jamie ducked closer and pressed a soft kiss to her shoulder in apology.

“Stupid question. Sorry” walked so “Sorry, baby” could run 🤝

Also, shoulder kiss 😭

Jamie didn’t say anything, never did anything more except slowly link their fingers in Dani’s lap and slouched further into the couch with a faint reassuring smile, turning back to the tv.

Jamie always knows what to do 😭

“Your contract states two weeks of paid leave,” Hannah continued, “But hang the contract. Take as much time as you need.”

Ugh I love Hannah so much!!

Dani exhaled slowly, feeling her heart slow just at the sight of her, letting her head sink further into the pillow that still smelled like comfort and Jamie. 

“Just at the sight of her” 🥺🥺🥺🥺

“Sorry. You usually sleep like the dead.”

“Only recently,” Dani managed to mumble honestly, voice raspy from sleep. 

*gestures wildly* THIS IS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT. The comfort!!!! The peace!!

“There we are,” Jamie murmured, her expression warm and fond. 

I’m not okay.

“And if I come back home and find out you’ve not been relaxing, there’ll be serious consequences.”

“Promise?” Dani murmured.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH.

The catalyst….

(part 2/5 ch11 reaction)

"I love the choices you both made about how they came together. It wasn’t a huge, dramatic confession. It was like coming home."

i'm so glad we managed to nail that thank you!

@romanimp

[that-bi-bitch-writes]

Dreams of Indigo (C.1)

Chapter One

Pairing: Hitoshi Shinso x Non Binary Reader (can be read as Male Reader)

Word Count: 737

Warnings: Use of He/They pronouns, lots of swearing, mentions of bully, angst? edginess (i hope not)

Storyline: Reader is a teenage vigilante basically. Unlike the main characters Y/N doesn’t attend UA and somehow seems to keep finding themself in the company of the LOV but they’re not a villain. Call him a vigilante or an anti-hero whatever, just don’t call them a villain.

A/N: This is Chapter one for the series, I’m sorry if anyone was waiting a while for me to release a chapter I actually started trying to write earlier but i had head empty syndrome. I think this will be the last time there is just a monologue and no character interaction. Shoot me any questions, my inbox is open to anything but requests as of now. This is cross posted on wattpad (@that-bi-bitch-writes) and Quotev (@DumbEnbyJuice)

Teaser   Character Info   Prologue   Ch.1   Ch.2   Ch.3

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N was bullied at a very young age. They were quirkless

It doesn’t make sense why people bully the quirkless but it kind of does doesn’t it?

Think about how good it feels to win. Think about how good it feels to be one of the first ones to get the newest toy, or gaming console. The joy of having something and enjoying having it.  

Now think of how it feels to be better at something than someone. 

If nearly everyone has a quirk no matter how shitty it is, they get the feeling they are better than someone without a quirk.

I’m not saying it’s right, but it's harder to go against conditioned behavior like this especially in early childhood. They say children are like a sponge, and they soak up whatever they see or hear. So when you’ve got a society that praises people for having a strong quirk, the ones without quirks are ostracized. All that’s left is for the ones blessed with quirks to maintain the status quo. 

For there to be a top, someone has to be on bottom. And no that wasn’t a sex reference.

Y/n got the concept early in life.

Bullies did what they do, they picked on him. The little quirkless runt who didn’t fit in. 

The kid who couldn’t even fight back if he wanted to.

The quirkless kid who despite it all, wouldn’t fit in the box they were used to. How infuriating.

They beat him, insulted him, embarrassed him in front of teachers and classmates.

They spread rumors. 

Y/n is human. and humans have limits. There are only so many times you can cry to your parents and see the worried looks on their faces as they realize their child is too kind hearted and too ill-equipped to fight back against bullies. There are only so many times when you can push someone down and call them worthless before they either believe it or before they tell you to go fuck yourself.

Peace in the face of violence isn’t the path for everyone.

Sometimes by not fighting back you delay the inevitable.

You know what they say. There’s a quiet before a storm. And honey, you’ve got a big storm comin.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/n got their quirk in the 4th grade. That day, All for one smelled rain. But everywhere he looked was a clear sky. As a matter of fact, the clouds were white and thin. Kind of wispy like cotton candy that floats through the air as the machine gets up and running. 

The sun, on the other hand, was not as light and feathery. It was heavy and weighed everyone down. It was blazing, almost as if it were saying a long goodbye. Despite the sun’s tenacity, people were outside. They didn’t know it yet but the society of quirks had made an enemy. One they had created and nurtured themselves.

Sometimes, the victims of a corrupt society change it from within. Good for them.

Not all victims are the same. Not all victims want to be victims, or success stories on how a person so broken down got rehabilitated and was ready to forgive. It’s okay to not forgive people. If forgiveness won’t bring you peace, fuck it. Forgiveness is supposed to be for the victim to let go of feeling hurt and all responsibility for carrying that pain and anger, toward not only themselves but at the perpetrator. If you can move on without forgiveness. Do it.

Too often people hear that you forgive them and they feel relief. 

They feel relieved they don’t have to feel the pressure of knowing they hurt you. Hold them accountable. Fuck those bullies. It is not your job to educate them. It is your job to be alive and healthy and they jeopardized that. Hold them accountable for what they did. And if you can, hold others accountable too. There are people who taught them that behavior. There are people who encouraged it.

When the storm comes, let it rip the roofs off of their houses, leaving them bare. Exposed. 

People can change, and if they want to, they will. But some people don’t want to. Make them take responsibility. If they don’t want to change, relish in their misery as the world changes and everyone turns their back on them.

And if you so desire

Laugh in their face.