#life supreme if <333< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[thrill-seeker-vn]

17 and 38 please ❤️

#17

#38

[theorphicangel]

Ahhhhh congrats my dearest Angel!!! I'm so happy for you 💖 can I request for 'you got me flowers?' and 'your heart is beating so fast right now.' from the fluff prompts? Thank you and I love everything that you do <3

— Rei <3 @levi-supreme

hiii rei tysm for sending in an ask for my event ahhh! also I’m sorry this is like five months late…but I hope you like it nonetheless mwah mwah ❤️

You’ve had many bad days at work. Not an overwhelming amount, but you’ve experienced a few that’s made you want to curl up in bed for the rest of your life and not want to interact with a single human being ever again.

You’re not really sure what sin you’ve committed recently for the universe to have it out for you as soon as you woke up this morning. But you think it was bad enough to have you on your knees begging for mercy by the end of the day.

Bitter coffee, burnt toast and an annoying stain on your work clothes is the limit that you could cope with. Unexpected rain without your emergency umbrella, having to refill your car suddenly and a mountain of paperwork to deal with, is enough to definitely set your nerves on edge. But dealing with that one bitchy coworker, as well as constant complaints and backhanded compliments about your work from your manager was enough to set your emotions astray.

The worst of it all was forgetting your lunch that you took the time to prep the night before. You let out a groan, your palms covering your face in complete surrender. You’ve just had enough of this day already.

Just before you rose from your office chair to go grab an emergency lunch from the deli down the street, your phone vibrated with a text message. With a sigh, you had immediately planned not to respond at all but that was before you saw that it was from Levi.

Leviiiiiiiii <333: [sent 12:36pm]

- You left your lunch in the fridge.

That reminder was enough for your anger to rebubble on the surface again, despite that not being Levi’s intention.

You: [sent 12:37pm]

- I figured that out thanks.

It wasn’t like you to respond that way at all but given that you’ve been rushing around on your feet all morning without a single break and had been given a mountain pile of paperwork, you figure that there would be no one on earth who would be the happiest right now.

Leviiiiiiiii <333: [sent 12:37pm]

- Are you alright?

That question alone was enough to have your eyes watering. You hesitate in your reply, biting down on your bottom lip as you look at the screen, your thumbs frozen over the keyboard.

Should you be honest or lie about it?

But who would you be kidding? This is Levi after all. A man who knows you inside out, who can tell your mood based on the amount of emojis you send when you text.

You: [sent at 12:40pm]

- No, I’m not. Work is so shitty right now. I want to go home.

It doesn’t take long for him to reply; one of the many, many reasons as to why you love this man so much. Reading his text, your heart practically swells at his words.

Leviiiiiiiii <333: [sent 12:41pm]

- Want me to pick you up? Or drop off your lunch?

Instead of tears, your lips tilt into a smile. God, you’re so happy that you’re married to him.

You: Sent at 12:41pm]

- No, no it’s fine, I have a shit ton of work to do and if I don’t get it done today it’ll just pile on for next week and that’ll stress me out even more.

Your thumbs click send before typing out another text.

- Also, I’ll grab lunch at the deli xx :)

Leviiiiiiiii <333: [sent 12:42pm]

- If you’re sure?

You reinforce that you are with a message of simple thumbs up emoji.

Leviiiiiiiii <333: [sent 12:42pm]

- Take out and movie tonight?

You: [sent 12:43pm]

- I would love that. :)))))

You reply, a real smile now stretching across your lips. This immediately brightens up your mood and gives you something to look forward to. With a positive outlook, you stand to get your lunch. Only five more hours of this shit and you’ll be free.

You can do this.

–

Home.

You quite like the way it sounds.

Home. It’s your safe place. A place where you can truly let go and be who you are without judgment or stress surrounding you constantly.

Your shoulders droop as you come to stand in front of your apartment door, your key in hand, positioned over the lock. Inserting the key, you twist. and when you hear a click, simultaneously push the door open.

“I’m home.” You announce breathlessly, not hesitating in slipping out of your shoes.

The sound of slippers shuffling on the oak hardwood floor grows louder as Levi approaches you. The first thing that catches your eye as he rounds the corner is a bouquet of your favorite flowers in his hand.

Your face lights up immediately, an inaudible gasp leaving your mouth. “You got me flowers?” And if you thought your heart bursted earlier today at his actions you were sure that it had completely gone to ruins by now.

A light blush reaches Levi’s cheeks and stretches all the way to the tips of his ear. “Ye-yeah.” he coughs a little shyly. “I was passing by the florist and I saw them on display.”

Your lips pout in complete affection for him as you take the flowers into your hands. “You really didn’t have to.”

He merely shrugs.“You were having a bad day, it’s the least–

Levi doesn’t get the chance to finish off his sentence as you randomly wrap your arms around him, your head landing on his chest. You take him by surprise at your sudden energy and he stumbles back a few steps before regaining his balance.

You squeeze him tightly, eyes watering as you mumble your thanks, “I really don’t deserve you y’know?”

You hear Levi tut and feel his hand pat your head softly. “Don’t be stupid.”

“It’s true. “ you say. “I do not deserve you, Levi Ackerman.”

“Don’t get over sentimental about it, brat.”

“Your heart begs to differ.“ you point at his chest. “Your heart is beating so fast right now.”

“No it’s not.”

“I can hear–”

Levi pulls you away from his chest, clearly embarrassed. You miss the pink tinge on his cheeks deepen in shade as he turns around. “Go shower, you stink.”

“Awh, don’t be embarrassed, Le’. I really love them. Thank you.”

He says nothing more and trails off to the kitchen, the sound of his slippers smacking against the hardware floor again. You chuckle to yourself as you head towards your bedroom.

–

Today was a bad day.

Was.

It was until you were stuck with your lover on the couch, forcing him to watch your favorite soppy rom-com to cheer you up. Boxes of unfinished takeout lay on the coffee table ahead of you, a temptation to save them for tomorrow’s leftover.

Tilting your head, you turn to face him, a soft smile across your lips.

“What?” Levi grumbles. “Don’t look at me like that, I hate this movie.”

“But you watch with me everytime.”

“Yeah, because you get all soppy and cry at the ending.”

“So you act as my emotional support?”

He rolls his eyes. “Yeah, something like that.”

You let out a chuckle at his words, completely unaware that he was serious. Little did you know that he held a pack of tissues in his left hand, that would magically appear to you as soon as the credits would roll on the screen and tears would roll down your face.

“I love you, Levi.” you say, resting your head on his chest.

Once again, you heard his heart rate increase. Yet this time you won’t mention it, sparing him from embarrassment.

“Unfortunately, I love you too.”

“Hey, don’t be mean!”

angel’s 500 event masterlist.

[secretmellowblog]

I love how Cosette inherited Jean Valjean's ability to lie. Both Cosette and Jean Valjean are very good at telling flat-out lies with a straight face, which is how Jean Valjean is able to conceal his identity from his daughter and Cosette is able to conceal her romance from her father.

There's a moment where both of them are asked whether they recognize someone who they obviously do recognize, and without hesitation they both calmly pretend "I have never seen this person before in my life what are you talking about." Cosette in the Luxembourg garden calmly pretending she's never seen Marius before:

[Jean Valjean] said to her: “What a very pedantic air that young man has!” (...) (Cosette) contented herself with replying, with supreme calmness: “That young man!” As though she now beheld him for the first time in her life. “How stupid I am!” thought Jean Valjean. “She had not noticed him. It is I who have pointed him out to her.”

vs Jean Valjean calmly lying to the Thenardiers that he does not recognize him, and also has no idea who Cosette is either:

“So you do not recognize me?”

M. Leblanc looked him full in the face, and replied:—

“No.”

Then Jondrette advanced to the table. He leaned across the candle, crossing his arms, putting his angular and ferocious jaw close to M. Leblanc’s calm face, and advancing as far as possible without forcing M. Leblanc to retreat, and, in this posture of a wild beast who is about to bite, he exclaimed:—

“My name is not Fabantou, my name is not Jondrette, my name is Thénardier. I am the inn-keeper of Montfermeil! Do you understand? Thénardier! Now do you know me?”

An almost imperceptible flush crossed M. Leblanc’s brow, and he replied with a voice which neither trembled nor rose above its ordinary level, with his accustomed placidity:—

“No more than before.”

….

“You address her as thou, do you not?”

“Who?” asked M. Leblanc.

“Parbleu!” cried Thénardier, “the little one, the Lark.”

M. Leblanc replied without the slightest apparent emotion:—

“I do not know what you mean.”

Father/daughter bonding <333

[kipcobblestone]

oh my god happy late Valentine’s Day schmolly is real I said so because Peter beagle posted schmolly on his Instagram get rekt schmolly haters they’re so supreme

this was a redraw from the graphic novel because. while the graphic novel is rlly nice I much prefer the movie designs because they come to life a lot more to me. they just fit better imo ^~^

also reoriented the pose tee hee just very slightly …. Anyways schmolly.

EDIT: also I changed the dialogue to the dialogue from the book because they cut out the best part from it <333

[justanamesstuff]

If I could, I'd choose you (Royal!au)

Matty Healy x f!reader (and a bit of Prince!George)

A/N: Hiii guys, i come back with a royal!au i wrote AGES ago! I hope you like it...let me know!! <333

Warnings: hurt feelings, mention of death, typos.

Word count: 3.3 K

MASTERLIST

One year ago the kingdom went to war with a long life enemy. The kingdom won the war and

brought back home many treasures, but sadly they lost many people as well. The victory was bittersweet. 

Among those brave men and women, the king gave his own life for the sake of the better good. With the supreme gone for good, the heir to the throne had to step in. Problem was, the king had three daughters: Y/n, Victoria and Angelica. Before Y/n was born the first the king and his helpers decided what would happen if he decided to decline or in the other case died. 

During her entire life Y/n lived with the idea that someday she will be queen. At the very beginning, she felt lost and insecure. Since Y/n was only a little girl, running around the castle with her sister, she was far from sure about her being a good ruler or if she could do it without her father along her side. Time went by, and the little girl turned out to be a very confident woman, ready to rule since the first minute someone told her. 

Duty called and Y/n answered for her people right away. Although she was still a young girl who suffered the loss of her father with her little sisters. On the contrary when they lost their mother, they were alone in the world except for the company of each other and most of the decisions– not to say all– fell on Y/n’s shoulders.  

One of the many decisions she had to make was to find a husband. One of the big rules her father insisted was that when Y/n became queen she had to marry a wealthy man. Y/n hated her father for that, because she felt very capable of ruling on her own without a partner. Also, she didn’t have the time or energy for courtship, she had a lot of important matters to deal with instead of wasting her time.

Y/n tried to delay the choice as long as she could, although the time was ticking and her advisors -a couple of old men very old-fashioned- insisted on the matter every day a little more. So, despite her complaints the royal ball for Y/n to choose a husband was in the making. 

She felt bad because, despite her opinions about it, the whole kingdom woke up. After a difficult war, with many losses and suffering, there wasn’t a single soul unhappy for this. The news about the influential men and princes that will come travelled fast and cheered everyone up. All of them were happy except Y/n. 

………………..

The morning of the ball, Y/n woke up sensing her body vibrating with anxiety and wishing she could run away from this madness. But the sense of responsibility and duty keep her in place. Well, not in place exactly because she started to walk around the throne room from one side  to the other. 

“Why are you huffing now?” Victoria, her sister, came in, interrupting Y/n’s thoughts. 

 Y/n turned to look at her, with an annoying face,“You know why!”

“The marring stuff?” she walked closer to her, while her velvet dress flew between her feet. 

“Yes” she simply stated.

Victoria rolled her eyes visibly, “You’re making a big deal out of it…”

“Excuse me?” Y/n exclaimed.

“You heard me.”

“Yes, but watch out. I am…” the queen went to scold her, but Victoria interrupted.

“Yeah, yeah…the Queen. You still have to wait for the coronation to say that…” Y/n’s sister reminded her. 

“Victoria!” Y/n warned her.

The girl was unbothered by her sisters words, she continued walking away from her going to sit at the throne. “As I was saying…”

Y/n stopped her this time, “I’m not making a big deal. I don’t understand why I have to marry someone I don’t know at all, just to claim my right of birth.”

“Because that’s the rule!”

“I know that part, but still…”

“Y/n, just do it and live your happy life as the Queen.”

“I can’t.” Y/n said looking down. 

Victoria stood up, coming closer. “You can, and you will!” Victoria said, lower, reaching for her sister’s hand. “You’ll be the best Queen this fucking- “

“Victoria, watch your mouth!” Y/n interrupted.

“This place would ever have, and no matter which asshole-” Y/n huffed again. “Which man you marry, you’ll rule! Not your husband, not me, not the servants…you! It’s just like a procedure, okay?”

Deep down she was thankful for her sister’s words, even though her mind was foggy with thoughts about her father and the future. And more importantly…who would be the man she married? What if she ended up hating him?

“It’s easy for you to say.” Y/n walked away.

“Do you want to marry for love?” she inquired.

“That would be very idealistic, unrealistic of me to expect a love…” Y/n said trying to convince herself. 

Who didn’t want to marry for love and not because of an arrangement? Maybe somebody, but not her. At the same time, she had no choice.

“Yeah, but…” Victoria tried once more.

“It doesn’t matter.” Y/n shook her head, stopping her sister. “I’ll choose somebody suitable today and that will be the end of this nonsense.” she stated, stretching the wrinkles of her dress while walking away.

Y/n didn’t look a way, or she would’ve seen her sister's empathy filing her eyes.

………………………………………

The party was in its highest peak. Y/n didn’t know how many men she greeted, and her face was hurting for all the smiling. The soon-to-be Queen was beyond exhausted and frustrated too.

 No one, not a single soul seems suitable or slightly good for the place they’ll have to fill. 

In line awaited three more princes. One of the servants was in charge of announcing the names one by one to later approach her presence. 

“Prince George Bedford Daniel, Kingdom of Ocaton.” the loyal servant shout for everyone to hear.

The prince walked forward without dropping the eye contact. Those hazelnut piercing eyes playing a battle with hers, made Y/n felt observed and insecure for a minute.

“Princess Y/n, it’s a pleasure to meet your highness.” the tall blonde said while he bowed.

Y/n extended her hand, which George answered kissing her rings. “The pleasure it’s all mine.” the princess didn’t know how many times she said the same sentence.

“It is?” he crocked an eyebrow.

“Excuse me?” she was shocked by his abrupt answer.

“Pardon me, your highness. I can tell you met more eloquent men this night.” he said, smiling with sarcasm.

“Sir!” one of her advisors tried to warn him about his attitude.

“Don’t worry, Philip.” she turned to look at him, and then returned her sight to George. “I can manage him.” she gifted the old man a smile. “Replying to you, Prince…” Y/n inquired him, faking not remembering his name.

“George, my princess.”

Y/n didn’t acknowledge the possessive pronoun. “Right. Well, I’m happy about meeting all of  them…all of you, my guests.“ 

“Yes, I can perfectly tell.” George kept the amused tone, surprising Y/n once more. “Can I tell you how stunning you look in that dress, princess?” he asked, cheekily gaining a smile from Y/n

After many boring candidates George was a breeze of something different she found quite interesting and seductive. Y/n still have two more candidates waiting for her attention, so he would have to wait. 

“Thank you. You look adequate for the situation, Prince.” she teased him.

George found it amusing, replying, “It was what I was aiming for, your highness. ” Y/n tried to hide her chuckle, but the man noticed it. 

Containing her laugh, Y/n ended the conversation with a simple, “Hope you enjoy the evening, my prince.” finally dispatching him.

“Until next time, Y/n.” he lined down kissing her hand once more before leaving without looking back at her. 

****

The next candidate was pretty much the same as the previous before Matty. Hence why, Y/n didn’t spend more than a minute talking with him, listening to the stupid speech the advisors of the prince –with a flat personality– made him memorize probably. 

“Sir Matthew Timothy Healy.” the servant screamed the name of the last men. 

Since the first moment Y/n placed her eyes on him, her entire body tingled and burned. She was shocked by this unknown causing a reaction on her. Y/n couldn’t keep her eyes away from him. He was shorter than George but not for much. His eyes were brown, like hers, but shined brighter than any others. His brown locks were perfectly and imperfectly at the same time arranged in the top of her head. 

As if he knew what colour her dress would be, Thomas wore a blue suit which defined his body in the most beautiful way. Physically, he was perfect. The definition of the prince her father always talked about for her. 

“It is a great pleasure to meet such a beautiful Queen.” he said, looking directly into her eyes.

“Princess. Soon to be Queen.” she replied.

“Pardon me, your highness?”

“It’s my pleasure to meet you.” she continued the conversation.

Y/n wanted to listen to his voice forever, she was very sure she would never get tired of it, of him. His voice was mellow and rhythmic, inviting her to drown into his beautiful melody. He captivated her.

“Are you satisfied with the candidates?” he dared to ask.

“Watch your place, Matthew.” she said sternly but sweet.

“I only want to know if I have a proper competitor or if I’m winning already.” he smirked. From sweet, he turned to a little bit cocky and that was another refreshing moment during the boring night.

“You’ll have to wait for my answer…as the rest of the men.” Y/n answered.

“I’m looking forward to it.” he lined down and kissed her cheek.

Y/n froze on her place even though before she could acknowledge the action or even say something, Matty was gone and out of her sight. Her heart was pounding so loud in her chest that probably everyone could hear it above the music. 

The princess had to decide, although between all the people she met that night she had only two options.

……………………………….

Y/n was talking with her advisors and letting them know what she thought about the men they chose for her when Victoria stumbled in her private conference room. 

“Princess Victoria, you have to wait outside until we finished!” Philip reprimanded her.

“I want to speak with my sister.” the young princess demanded in her place anxiously. Probably the men in the room didn’t notice her bubbly feelings but Y/n knew her sister as the back of her hand. 

“It’s all right. I already finished expressing my opinions and heard yours, when I have a final decision I’ll go out and speak to the waiting room.” all of them moved their heads in agreement, proceeding to leave the room.

Victoria couldn’t contain herself and started talking. “I meet the love of my life!” she screamed, sitting down abruptly in a chair near Y/n’s.

“Oh, really?” Y/n said suspiciously. Victoria tended to fall in love with many men along the way and never truly persuade a relationship.

“Yes, he’s perfect. He’s handsome and dresses very nicely. He’s a gentleman and…I love him.” she sighed romantically.

“That’s quick.” Y/n bitterly said.

Victoria turned looking at her older sister, stunned, “You don’t believe me.”

“Who is this prince?” Y/n decided to ignore her words because she knew it was useless to tell her sister anything involving love and feelings.

“He’s not a prince. He’s a Sir.” Victoria looked at her, waiting for a reaction. Y/n didn’t show a single change on her face, but her body got warm again. Sir Matthew was around the castle, and she wanted to talk to him again.

“And that’s fine for you?” Y/n asked.

“Yes, he’s the love of my life!” Y/n admire the self-confidence she had to say that so easily.

“Do you know his name?” 

“Yes!” Victoria smiled even more widely if that was possible.

“And?” Y/n grew anxious.

“His name is Matthew.” with that sentence Y/n’s world fell apart. 

She knew they were talking about the same man that captivated her half an hour ago. Right away, Y/n understood why her sister was so sure about it, and she knew very well that her desires couldn’t be fulfilled.

Y/n needed, had to make the better decision not for her heart but for the kingdom and for her family. Matty was a Sir and George was a Prince, she couldn’t pass above that fact. And with the information of her sister wanting Matthew for herself, the decision was already made.

 “Tell me more.” Y/n said absently, letting her sister rambling about this new man while her heart broke bit by bit.

…………………………………………

The night of the ball ended with Y/n’s assistance, Philip, announcing that George was the choosing one by the soon-to-be Queen. After that, Y/n gave a short speech thanking all the candidates and promising George her willingness to build a good and prosper alliance.

During her turn to speak, Y/n couldn’t look at Matty. Although, she felt his sight on her. Y/n would’ve to live with the pain weighing in her heart. 

Matty understood right away why Y/n chose George, but it hurt him deeply. Sir Matthew felt his heart settle down for Y/n since the moment he saw her standing, listening to boring men without a single grimace of annoyance. He admired her and felt very fond of Y/n. 

Healy decided that no matter what he wouldn’t run away like a wounded animal. He would be close to her and help in everything he could, or she asked him. 

Matty wasn’t ready to walk away, so he decided to turn all his love and caring to Victoria who was obviously whiling to accept whatever he offered. He proposed to her right away after Y/n’s engagement and Victoria accepted without skipping a beat. Since their father was gone, Matthew had to ask Y/n for Victoria’s hand, and he would never forget the pain on her face when she muttered her approval. 

It was so frustrating for both of them because they only had the chance to properly talk only once, and they never shared a proper kiss, but the love was there. Matty and Y/n could feel it, even though they’ll never tell anyone…or the other. They weren’t selfish people. He was sure of it. Both of them knew that it was a better option for everyone.

****

Even though the day of the ceremony something itched him thinking about what he was going to witness, what the whole kingdom would. The ceremony would declare Y/n and Harrison as a married couple, as the new rulers, Queen and King. Matthew’s heart felt heavy. 

During the morning of Y/n’s wedding, Matty felt the need to find Y/n and tell her about his feelings, or do something. He didn’t want to live his life letting this opportunity slip through his fingers.

He ran around the castle looking for her. Matty thought numerous people would be surrounding her although to his surprise, two guards await at her door and not a single sound could be heard. Even the clicking of his shoes was louder than anything else.

“I wish to see Princess Y/n.” he told the guard.

“You’ll have to wait for after the ceremony, she didn’t want to see anyone.”

“I need to speak to her.” he urged the guard.

“Sir, please.” the other one alerted him.

In the middle, one of her personal stylists opened the door and Matty took the opportunity running inside. The guards followed him, stumbling till the three men stood in front of the future queen.

Quickly the guards rearranged their posture and the senior one started talking, “We’re deeply sorry to interrupt this way, Princess Y/n. Your brother-in-law…” he continued, making her heart sank. “We warned him you didn’t want to see anyone.“

“It’s fine. Leave us alone.”

“But Princess- “

“Leave us alone! It’s an order!” she half shouted. The guards obeyed and until the door made a noise letting Y/n and Matty know they were in fact alone, they just stared into each other’s eyes.

“What do you need, Sir Matthew?”

“Please, don’t do it!” he said directly.

“What are you talking about?”

“Please, don’t marry George!” he walked closer, but Y/n moved backwards.

“I don’t understand.”

“I know you do.” Thomas grabbed her hands carefully.

She warned him, “Matty- “

“Y/n, please.” he begged. “I know you, as well as me, felt it…” he leaned forward and touched her forehead with his.

“Please don’t do this now.” she closed her eyes, feeling pain and happiness having him so close to her. “You have Victoria, and I have Harrison now…You’ll be happy.”

“Every time I tried to convince myself of that I instantly think that I’ll be miserable for the rest of my life without you.”

“You have me forever.” she stated low. “You have my heart, although you know this is better for everyone.”

“Think of me. Think of you. Us. What we want…not what is best for- “

“I have to- “

“Screw that!” he startled her with his high tone, leaning slight backwards.

“This it’s not easy for me either…” she looked down. Y/n was as hurt as he felt. Matty took her chin, making her look up.

“My angel…” he whispered, making Y/n sob quietly. “Shh, shh, don’t.” he cleaned her tears. “I love you.”

“Matty” she looked up to his eyes. She saw the love for her.

“I love you, I’ll never stop but… I do understand that’s why I’ll leave my selfish heart here when I leave. I’ll marry your sister, watch you marry another man…and no matter what I’ll be close to you because I can’t live without you in my life, my eternal love. We’ll be close…because you’re my moon, and I’m the stars. I’ll be by your side watching you become the best Queen this twisted world would ever have the privilege to have. I’ll be close, supporting you…but I’ll love you from afar…I’ll love you till my last breath, Y/n.” Matty leaned forward, catching her lips on a slow kiss. 

The kiss was bittersweet. They shared in that simple but meaningful act all the love and care, as well the pain and frustration they felt.

“Please go.” she said, closing her eyes while crying.

“Of course, my Queen.” Matty reluctantly walked backwards. 

“I’m not- “

“You’re…for me.” he smiled at Y/n.

Y/n watched Matty walked around her room going directly to the double door. She had her heart in her hand at the same time she held the tears from falling.

“Matty!” she exclaimed, desperately. He didn’t turn around completely, he gave her a side look.

“Yes?”

“I- “she tried to say it.

After a couple of seconds in silence, Matthew asked. “Yes, my Queen?”

“I lo- Damn it!” she exclaimed, and he chuckled a little, turning around fully.

“I know, my love. I know.” he gifted her a sweet smile and then he left for good.

…………………………………………….

After the ceremony, the newly-wed couple step outside on the balcony, greeting the people that happily cheered for them. Some of them cried, some laughed, even though the entire kingdom was alive again in spirit. 

Y/n turned around making her sight land on Matty.

No matter how much the people, her people, would be happy for her and her new husband she would never felt the same as them. The only reassurance was thinking Matthew would be there, by her side, forever. Their love would last until their last breath and beyond.

[shivvroys]

the cost of our desired wrongs

shivlina oneshot set during 'too much birthday'

for @jeniffercheck <333 and part of the shivlina fic exchange

cw: panic attacks

read below or on ao3

hold me like we're dying from the liquor that we drank down in hotel rooms,

to feel warm in cold love

-

Karolina’s already worn out by the time she gets to the venue. But the world moves to the sway of Logan Roy’s hand, so here she is, still dressed in her work clothes and bickering with a girl that has rhinestones glued to the inner corners of her eyes.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t have you on the list.” The girl looks far from sorry.

It takes all of Karolina’s strength not to flick those stupid little gems clean off the girl’s face. Instead, she puts on her tightest smile, and pulls out her phone, ready to text Logan a sincere apology and go home. He’d been giving her shit ever since Kendall’s meltdown at the press conference. One more temper tantrum would be just another drop in the bucket.

“No fucking way. Look sis, Dad got us a new nanny.” Roman’s shrill voice sends an irritating shiver down her spine, like nails on a chalkboard. “She’s taller than an SUV, right? Just making sure.”

“Hello, Roman.” She turns to see Roman and Shiv walking in, with Tom trailing behind them like an overgrown shadow. Soon enough, Connor and Willa join them. Karolina starts to get a nauseating feeling of déjà vu.

“Hi, guys.” she greets the rest of the Roy litter. Shiv raises a pointed eyebrow.

“Hi, Karolina. Dad doesn’t think we can sweeten the swede without someone holding our hand, or are you just here to keep Kendall from nailing himself to a golden Supreme cross?” The green dress and tussled curls almost dull the sting of Shiv’s dig. Even as a joke, the suggestion of holding Shiv’s hand in public settles like lead in her belly.

Before she gets the chance to respond, Connor cuts in.

“I just want to say, before the flies starts buzzing—this had nothing to do with my physical prowess. I was inebriated.”  He points to the brace on his arm. Jesus fucking Christ, this family.

“I’m sure no one would doubt that.” He seems to take that as a compliment, judging by the way his eyes light up. Next to him, Willa shoots her a pointed glare, her arm wrapping tighter around Connor’s uninjured one.

As the rest of the group pass by the girl at the entrance and her stupid fucking list, Shiv hangs back, turning to Karolina.

“What, cold feet?” she asks, pointing to the nauseating pink hallway leading into the club.

“I’m not on the list, apparently.” Karolina shrugs.

“Unfortunately, I can’t let guests in unless they’re on the list.” the girl pipes up, gripping her little clipboard like a life raft.

Shiv throws Karolina a wicked smile, before pinning the girl down with a glare.

“Well she’s on Forbes’s 50 Most Powerful Women in Media. That good enough of a fucking list for you?” She barely lets the girl gasp out a surprised breath, before all but dragging Karolina with her down the hallway. Neither of them turn back to check on the girl.

“That was mean.” Karolina lets out a quiet laugh.

“Well, she better get over it if she doesn’t want those cool rhinestones to fall off with the tears.” she says, her brows furrowed in faux concern. Bathed in the pink glow of the hallway, she looks softer, blurry at the edges in a way that makes Karolina want to grasp her, lest she vanishes into the glowing light. Like a fata morgana, luring Karolina out into the deep end.

“So, uh, did dad really send you to chaperone us?” Shiv asks.

“I don’t know.” she sighs. “He just told me to make sure nothing gets out of hand. You know what he’s like…”

“Never met a room he couldn’t walk into and be the epicenter of, yeah. He’s probably got Kerry refreshing Twitter every two seconds, fiending for updates.” she shakes her head, amused. He was, and he’s had Kerry forward each one to Karolina as well.

As they approach the end of the hallway, Tom’s tall frame comes into view. Shiv pauses, looking down before addressing Karolina.

“Hey, I’ll, uh, see you around? Later?” her lips are pouted and pink, and so terribly inviting, but the looming shadow at the end of the hallway reminds Karolina of who she is, and who she is with.

“I don’t know, Shiv.”

She resists the urge to reach a hand over and smooth out the tiny wrinkles forming between Shiv’s brows, instead breaking eye-contact and looking straight ahead until they’ve reached Tom, where she leaves Shiv behind.  Back on the cold shore, the sand feels like shards of glass under Karolina’s feet, the glow of her beautiful mirage burning even brighter on the back of her eyelids as she walks away from it.

-

She’s two martinis down and fresh out of a very uncomfortable encounter with Kendall, when Logan calls. Karolina wishes the shitty techno music were loud enough to drown out the man’s rough beratement. He’s mad that Karolina hasn’t been keeping enough tabs on all of his children while simultaneously tracking Matsson’s whereabouts. She doesn’t bother trying to explain to the man that his children aren’t joined at the hip, and she can’t split herself into every goddamn corner of the massive club, and even if she could, they were all purposefully avoiding her like the plague anyway. Instead, she throws out ‘yes’s and ‘alright’s and ‘of course, Logan’s like she’s trying to calm down a rabid dog, and resists the urge to smash her phone against the bar top when he hangs up on her.

She motions to the waiter for another drink, and watches the VIP area above, where Roman, Shiv and Kendall are either making up, or breaking each other down. Her money’s on the latter.

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Tom and Greg huddled together, whispering like they’re planning a heist. She can feel the dread of her own shame creep inside, but she can’t help the rush of jealousy that washes over her as she sizes Tom up. God, she needs to stop drinking gin when she’s already feeling bitter.

He’s tall, sure, and handsome in an unthreatening way, but where’s the fun in that? What universe had made him and Shiv a match? Did he make her laugh—with his broad shoulders and naïve oafishness? Did Shiv trust her heart to be safe in those big, warm hands? Was he just that good of a fuck?

Briefly, Karolina wonders what it says about her that, for all her inflated sense of superiority, she has essentially become this man’s seat warmer. 

She can’t admit to herself why the sight of him has become so unbearable lately, so she throws back her drink and leaves the bar, hoping to come up with a destination on the way.

-

The lights are starting to look fuzzy and Logan’s texts have turned silly by the time she sees Shiv again. A giant, glossy version of her, anyway.

Wife of Tom Wambsgans.

Karolina stares at the letters until they turn to giant splotches of ink in front of her glassy stare.

“Yeah, you like that?”

Karolina turns to look at Shiv leaning against the doorway.

“I don’t even remember when this picture was taken. I kind of look manic.” Shiv continues, stepping into the room until she’s right next to the giant poster. She tries to mimic the facial expression she’s wearing in the picture.

"It's good. Funny." Karolina sucks in her cheeks, looking into the half-empty glass she’s holding. She can’t remember what number she’s on, but it’s definitely one too many for the conversation she’s recklessly directing them towards.

"What? Wife of Tom Wambsgans—that’s the part you're upset about? Not the bit about me being a street-walker?” Shiv puts on an incredulous smile.

“Does that bit offend you because it implies you need the money?”

That wipes the smile away from Shiv’s face. She crosses her arms, playful mood suddenly deflated.

“Ok, what crawled up your ass and died?” she says, still trying to keep some lightness in her tone.

“It was a joke, Shiv.” It hadn’t been, but Karolina feels weightless and weighed down all at once, and her ears are still ringing from Logan’s screaming. A part of her wants to see if she can get Shiv to match that same pitch and blind outpour of anger. See if they share more than just their eyes.

“Funny.” she clenches her jaw. “Yeah, no—see, if I were making a joke, which—I am, this is a joke.” She gestures to the space between them, that great chasm of joy and fucking laughter.

“If I were making a joke I would say something like—I don’t know, how do you manage to fuck up a task so badly that your boss has to call the people you’re supposed to be tracking to ask where you are? That’s pretty funny, too, right?” she leans back against the poster, eyes narrowed into slits.

Karolina nods, gripping her glass tighter. What makes her eyes sting with tears is the fact that Shiv looks so fucking beautiful right now, her hair messier than she’d normally allow herself to have it, and a dangerous sort of reckless energy illuminating her like a halo. And all Karolina can think about is a fucking phone.

A hunter at heart, Shiv knows that sinking her teeth into frightened game sours the meat, so she knows when to back off and let her prey breathe. Make the chase last longer. And Karolina’s aware of this, she can tell when Shiv’s concern is part of a game she’s playing. So, when she sees her take a deep breath, and cock her head to the side, Karolina knows she’s just sharpening her canines.

“What’s up with that, anyway? He still upset over the press conference?” she asks, brow furrowed like she’s opening on Broadway.

Another drink and Karolina might mistake it for real kindness. Instead, she smiles tightly and shrugs.

“Maybe. Maybe he thought I looked at him funny during a meeting. Does it matter?” she says.

Being reminded that there are always bigger, angrier beasts lurking in the darkness of the forest seems to settle Shiv’s hunger for carnage, so she doesn’t press the issue further.

They are spared from having to say something to fill the silence when Roman barges into the room, instinctively sticking to Shiv’s side like a magnet. Like two blind kittens crawling their way to each other for warmth.

“Hey, I got a pin on Matsson. You coming?”

“Yeah, okay.”

Satisfied with the answer, he turns to Karolina, as if just then noticing her existence.

“Oh, hey Vesper Lynd. How’s the spying going?” he shoots her a shit-eating grin.

“Great. Thank you, Roman.” she keeps her eyes glued to the drink she’s holding.

He doesn’t say anything, throwing Shiv an amused grin before raising his own glass towards Karolina in a mock toast.

Shiv looks like she wants to say something, but it’s gone with a quick tightening of her jaw. Instead, she bumps her arm against Roman’s, motioning towards the doorway. In the haze of the colorful lighting and strong alcohol, Karolina can barely see the line that separates them as they walk away.

Like the mouth of a wave, she turns to the poster and sees that fucking headline looming above her head, its edges sharper than knives.

Wife of Tom Wambsgans.

-

“I’m sorry, Logan, but this doesn’t really fall under my—”

“Yeah, I just pay you a million a fucking year to write flashcards. Consider yourself off duty. Enjoy my son’s fucking tea party!”

Logan makes sure she also catches the fucking useless he spits out before hanging up the phone. This time, her phone gets a screen-full of sticky residue as she slams it down on the table in front of her. The screen doesn’t crack, to her disappointment, instead lighting up with more work emails she’ll probably have to deal with the next day. She doesn’t trust herself to make it to the bar without wobbling, so she wipes the phone on her pants, hoping to get some of the vodka cran off of it. All she gets is a sticky stain on her thigh and the faint urge to vomit. 

She takes that as her cue to slink back home where she can lick her wounds in peace, without a bunch of influencers gyrating against her when she’s just trying to find a spot to sit still in for five goddamn minutes. She doesn’t have the layout of the club memorized, and the flashing lights make her even dizzier than the gin, so trying to find the exit out of this sensory nightmare turns into a very treacherous journey. She can’t even tell where she’s ended up when she sees Shiv make a beeline for her. The music is louder, so all she sees is a disheveled mass of ginger curls and flashing eyes, before Shiv grabs hold of her elbow and drags her into a quieter room. It looks like a giant nursery, complete with a huge, dead-eyed teddy-bear that makes the hair on the Karolina’s neck stand up. 

Shiv doesn’t pay any attention to their deranged playmate, snapping Karolina back to attention.

"Did you know? About dad spying on Kendall's kids?"

Karolina shakes her head, trying to focus on the question. She could swear she had some justification for that prepared in the back of her mind, but she can’t find it through the fog that’s shrouded her mind for weeks like twilight in a cemetery. The only thing she can focus on is the rapid rise and fall of Shiv’s chest. Her eyes must’ve betrayed her, because Shiv takes her silence as an admission of guilt.

"Oh, so that's morally okay to you, but me being married is where you grow a fucking conscience?" Shiv scoffs, crossing her arms.

Karolina could afford many things, but never that. Not anymore.

"Do you think I get a say in what your father decides he wants done?” she tries to emphasize her point by gesticulating, but it comes out awkward and shaky, so she crosses her arms tightly instead, digging her nails into her arms in a vain attempt at sobering up. “I just wag my tail like everybody else in the room and I go fetch.”

“Well, maybe you just like fetching, Karolina.” Shiv throws out sharply.

She shouldn’t have had a sip of that fucking alcohol, because now Karolina watches Shiv’s smug smile and feels every ounce of self-restrain draining from her body. Anger swells inside of her like a balloon, and she watches herself watching it grow, bracing for its explosion. She wants to hurt Shiv in a way that she knows the other woman is familiar with. In a way that will leave them both wrecked and desolate, and begging for more. If there’s anything she’s learnt from spinning like a satellite around Logan Roy’s orbit, it’s to take a punch like sweet wine. To lap it up and stick her cup out for more.

Mostly, though, she wants to kiss Shiv. She wants to run her hands through her hair and rub soft circles along her temples, where her headaches always start. She wants to go home and have Shiv curl herself around her, her body a question mark that Karolina never wants to unravel. 

The room they are in is darker, quieter, but Karolina’s eyes still catch the glint of Shiv’s wedding band, and a loud pop goes off in her head.

“I guess you’re right, Shiv. But you don’t seem to mind when it’s you I’m fetching for, right?” she swallows harshly. “Like when you and Tom have a fight, and you need someone to fuck the anger away? Then I’m convenient.” she watches Shiv’s eyes widen.

“Oh, please! You’re going for the suffering side piece, really? I thought you had more self-respect than that.”

The teddy-bear doesn’t offer any input. The walls, though, start growing darker, crowding in on Karolina.

“No, don’t worry, I know my place in your life. Clear as fucking day.” she throws out a bitter laugh.

At least Shiv looks as haggard as she feels, though it brings Karolina more sorrow than joy.

“Right. That’s why you’ve been acting so sour, huh?” Shiv raises a hand to her chin, letting out an ironic tsk. “Funny, ‘cause I seem to remember you being the one who put out the fucking wedding announcement. And—correct me if I’m wrong, but was that not before you had your legs wrapped around my head like you were the sluttiest little cowgirl at the county fair riding the mechanical bull?” she finishes making her point by shaking her head.

Karolina can tell she’s just getting started, too, just stoking her appetite before diving in for the main course. She tries to come up with something to say, anything to make the knot in her chest release. In the dim hum of the room, she can hear her own ragged breathing. She can feel it crawling over her, that great all-encompassing dread.

She tries to draw herself up to her full height, swallowing the knot growing in her throat. “And what a good job I did, right? Almost made it seem like a real marriage.”

“Better than nothing, though, isn’t it?” Shiv puckers her lips in faux concern. “Tell me, Karolina, who’s waiting for you at home?”

Karolina doesn’t have Shiv’s boarding school background, but she went to a public high-school in a neighbourhood where every kid was fighting to be considered middle-class, so she knows how sweet passive aggression feels dripping off the tongue.

“Siobhan…” she starts. “Do you think that’s sadder than marrying someone whose eyes light up more when he sees your father than when he sees you?”

Despite the drumming in her ears, she catches Shiv’s sharp inhale as the brunt of her words hit her. It’s such a miserable type of satisfaction, to tear at the flesh of a loved one—if she could call the wound they’ve been picking at love.

It feels like a giving up and scratching at chickenpox marks. All those scars for one moment of relief. In the absence of a gentle hand to rub soothing circles of calming lotion over the marks, she supposes it’s only natural to find solace in the pain.       

“You’re fucking pathetic.” Shiv says, as if she’d been contemplating the fact since their very first meeting.

“Am I?” Karolina frowns. She can feel her chest start to strain uncomfortably. She tries to swallow, but finds it increasingly hard to do so.

“Yeah.” Shiv nods, lips downturned in disgust. “You won’t admit it to yourself, but you do like the fact that I’m married, Karolina. Because it makes you feel chosen. But the truth is, you’re just terribly, awfully, pathetically fucking common.”

A common whore, to make matters worse.

She’s not wrong. There had been times where Karolina’s indulged in the smug grin on Shiv’s face as she claimed Karolina’s body, laid her hungry fingers on it and made it hers. Stole gasps out of Karolina’s throat and made them into her own melody. And Karolina let it happened, let the cool glint of Shiv’s eyes brand her like cattle because being someone’s meant she was something to begin with.

These moments though, had been a lowering of arms, a truce at the gates of a castle made of rumpled up sheets. She supposes she should’ve seen it coming, though, because Shiv fucked like she fought – ravenously and without compromise.

“And you’re not, Shiv?” she laughs. “Why? Because your daddy’s the most powerful man in the world, and you’re his pinky?”

She presses a heavy hand to the bridge of her nose, trying to dissipate the dark spots clouding her vision.

Shiv stands before her with clenched fists and a set jaw, and Karolina fights the urge to ask for a kiss with a fist.

Shiv clears her throat, crossing her arms. “That’s why you’re fucking me, though, right?” she scoffs. “Cause you’re too afraid of dick, so I’m the closest you’ll get to fucking all that power?”

“I thought I was fucking you, Shiv. That last name is something only you keep clinging on to.”

“Oh, fuck off.” Shiv laughs. “Stick to your little corporate memos, yeah, Freud.”

“Did you actually read any Freud, or is he just the only psychoanalyst you know?” Karolina says weakly. “You should, if you haven’t—he had some very interesting things to say about fathers and daughters.”

Whatever reaction Shiv might have had, Karolina can’t see it. There’s a war drum pummelling at her head, and a dark cloud settling over her eyes. Her chest feels tight, as if gripped in an invisible vise, and very little skin and sinew separating her heart from the acrid air of the room.

It always starts like this, with crowding walls and a loud ringing that reminds her of those awful national emergency alarms. She tries to focus on Shiv’s face, but it’s hard to make her out in the darkness and the blurry veil of tears gathering in her eyes. Karolina knows she needs to get out, but finds her legs have turned to cinder blocks. Then it gets harder and harder to breathe, until she feels like she’s choking, her diaphragm caving in on itself.

She thinks she hears Shiv call out her name, but the only thing she can focus on is her own shaking hands, grasping at each other. Had she been holding something? Where was her phone? She shakes her head, managing to take a step back when she feels Shiv reaching out for her.

“Don’t. Just—just go, please.”

“Did you take something?” Shiv’s voice cuts through the ringing of her ears. She tries to laugh, but it sounds more like retching.

“Fuck.” she tries to get her breathing under control, digging the heel of her palm into her sternum.

She can’t see that well, but she feels Shiv’s hands flutter anxiously around her.

“Do you want me to get—fuck.” she pauses. “Should I go get help?” Shiv’s voice sounds miles away, a fata morgana promising Karolina something that looks like warmth.

“Just go. Please.” she chokes out. Even under the crushing weight pressing on her chest, Karolina cringes at how pathetic her voice sounds. Like roadkill begging to be put out of its misery.

And Shiv does.

The worried arms withdraw, and suddenly Karolina is alone in a giant nursery, trying to count her breaths along with the ugly stars painted on the walls. She finally manages to take back control of her legs, and slinks to the floor, bracing her head between her knees. Through the tears streaming down her face she catches that godawful teddy-bear staring at her with its cold, unflinching gaze, and thinks back to a time where she thought she might go on to change the world. To make a difference. If she really is dying, if her heart has finally decided to hang up its hat, then it’s only fitting her final judge and jury would be a giant, fake totem massacring the very thing it was meant to represent.

Through her heaving, she doesn’t hear anyone enter the room, until she feels something cold and hard press against the back of her neck, and a firm grip on her wrist.  

“Please don’t puke. Or, like, give me a heads-up.” she hears Shiv whisper.

Karolina’s only heard her speak so softly in the dark of the bedroom, when she’d halfway be hoping not to be heard. Shiv’s hand is cold, too, as she rubs soothing circles on her left wrist, the other hand still holding the cold compress against Karolina’s neck.

“You wanna try stepping outside?”

Karolina shakes her head. It’s barely there, but she feels the slightest easing of pressure on her chest. She tries to focus on the damp coolness on her neck, tries to imagine it spreading throughout her body, soothing the fire burning beneath her skin. She reaches out her right hand blindly, trying to grasp Shiv’s wrist, trying to follow that fervent pulsing of life.

“Yeah?” Shiv says, adjusting her hand so Karolina could grip it better. They stay like that for a while, hands grasped like roman soldiers, Shiv’s quiet sighs and Karolina’s ragged breaths the only sound around them. Karolina wonders briefly if the party’s finished, if they’re the only ones left in this haunted menagerie of broken childhoods. Shiv seems to see her attention slipping away, because she shakes her wrist free, taking Karolina’s palm and placing it above her breastbone.

“Just follow me, yeah?” she murmurs.

Karolina nods, closing her eyes and letting her hand be the only tether to the world, Shiv’s pulse her only guiding light. As her breathing slowly starts to slow down, she contemplates pointing out the fact that Shiv’s own breathing is shaky, her heart trembling like a hummingbird’s wings, but she ultimately decides against it. The warmth of Shiv’s body and the soft silk of her dress are doing a fine job of easing Karolina’s nerves nonetheless.

When she finally feels the fog start to lift from her eyes, she turns to see Shiv watching her intently, with wide eyes and furrowed brows. It scares her, the intensity of Shiv’s gaze. Like she’s not just looking at Karolina, but seeing her. Holding her in her mind as more than a moment in a bed.

“You okay?”

This time Karolina manages a weak laugh. She bites her lip, avoiding Shiv’s steely gaze.

“Mhm.” she nods. “Is that a wine bottle?” she frowns at the object Shiv’s just removed from her neck.

Shiv stars laughing, her wet eyes glinting in the weak light.

“I was gonna get a wet paper-towel or something, but I couldn’t find the bathroom.” she sighs.

“Where’d you find this?”

“Stole it from the bar.” she flashes Karolina a proud grin.

Shaking off the last of her panic attack, Karolina turns a weary head towards Shiv.

“Thank you.”

Shier than she’s ever seen her, Shiv shrugs the gratitude away, changing her position from kneeling by her side to sitting down flush against Karolina’s side, and linking their arms together.

“Would’ve been awkward to just let you die. I mean, who would we even get to draft the press release on such short notice?” she turns to shoot her a serious look.

“Hugo?” Karolina tries.

“Bleugh.” she fake retches. “I wouldn’t that to you, even if we were at each other’s throats.”

She nuzzles her head in the crook of Karolina’s shoulder, her hand fiddling with the sleeve of Karolina’s shirt.

“Why are we—at each other’s throats? Did I do something?” Shiv almost sounds like a scolded child, making the guilt twist itself tighter around Karolina’s heart.

“No.” she sighs. “I...I’ve just had too much to drink and I got bitter and selfish.”

“Yeah, but why?” she presses. “I’m not a dummy, Novotney, whatever I did has been bothering you for longer than this night.”

“You didn’t do anything, Shiv.”

Karolina closes her eyes as Shiv turns her head to look at her, soft gaze burning the side of her face. She clears her throat.

“You’re trying for a baby.” she finally turns to meet Shiv’s gaze, cheeks burning with shame. “And I have no right to be upset about that.”

“What?” Shiv frowns. “Where the fuck did you get that?”

“During the shareholder meeting.” she sighs. “Tom left his phone on a table at some point, and I guess he got a notification about your, ahem, baby window. I had no right to snoop, I’m sorry.”

Shiv unwinds their arms, bringing both of her hands to massage her temples.

“Jesus fuck!” she blurts out. “Karolina, I am not trying for a baby. That’s—I don’t even really fucking understand it myself, but I am not trying to get pregnant.” she wrings her hands, grasping at her own frustration.

“It doesn’t matter. I still shouldn’t have reacted that way.” Karolina presses. “It was out of line.”

“Fuck the line.” Shiv shakes her head. She looks like she’s deciding if the dim light of the room is dark enough to let her tell Karolina the truth.

“You were right, earlier.” she sighs. “I can’t play the suffering side piece. I knew what I was getting into when we started this.”

“No, that was—I was pissed off that you wouldn’t talk to me. You know I was just trying to push your buttons.”

“It’s still the truth.”

Shiv shakes her head softly again, like she doesn’t accept her statement. She contemplates for only a second, before picking up the discarded bottle of wine, popping out its stopper, and taking a swig. She extends her hand towards Karolina, offering her the by now lukewarm prosecco, but gets waved off with a tight smile, reminding her of why they were currently sitting on the floor of a creepy nursery replica.

Neither of them say anything for a while, lying side by side like two discarded dolls. Karolina eyes the teddy-bear, for a second swearing she could see a hint of smugness in its beady eyes.

After a third sip from the bottle, Shiv finally breaks the silence.

“Tom’s been trying to get me pregnant. I didn’t know about it until the shareholder’s meeting, either.” she laughs bitterly.

“What?” Karolina feels a rush of anger fall down on her head like a hammer.

“Yeah. I don’t know—I can’t even begin to fucking process that.” She takes another small sip from the bottle. “He didn’t wanna fuck me after I told him I was still on my birth control—said it was like throwing batter at a brick wall.”

Karolina can’t see Shiv’s face, but she can hear the quiet sniffling the other woman is trying to hide. She reaches a hand and pulls Shiv back to her side, closing any bit of distance between them. Despite the dizzying murmur still gripping her mind, she feels the urge to track Tom down and bash his head in with her phone, until the sticky alcohol gets washed off by a much more satisfying offering.

She doesn’t know what to say to Shiv, can barely comprehend the horror gripping the other woman. How dare that man? It’s not that she sees Shiv as something other than human, no. And, she supposes, that might be the entire point. That Shiv is a woman and men will try to mould women to any shape they desire. Even men like Tom. Even women like Shiv.

For lack of any words that could take away Shiv’s dreadful confusion and anger, she kisses the other woman’s head and hopes it’s enough. Or at least that it’s something.

She doesn’t soften her grip until she feels Shiv’s chest slow its frantic rise and fall, until she’s sure her hold on Shiv isn’t the only thing keeping her from falling apart.

Finally, Shiv herself lifts her head from the crook of Karolina’s shoulder, with blood-shot eyes and a sorrowful scowl marring her features.

“Can I stay over?” she whispers. She looks like she’s about to justify her request, before Karolina cuts her off.

“Of course.”

“You don’t have to…” she continues, before Karolina cuts her off again.

“I want you to.” she reaches a hand to cup Shiv’s cheek, rubbing a shaking thumb over the warm dampness she finds there. “I want you with me.” She’ll repeat it as many times as it takes for Shiv to realize how easy to want she really is.

She’s hard to open up, and hard to keep a hold of, yes, but Karolina’s never found it hard to want her. To want to have her in her life, for fear of wanting things—bigger and scarier things, that she knows she shouldn’t let herself want.

“Thanks.” Shiv says, clearing her throat.

She’s never been good at talking outside of the abstract, so Karolina replies in the only language she knows Shiv won’t doubt. She kisses her, a soft and sad sigh passing through them like an electric charge. A mess of limbs in an ugly, cold tomb of a misshapen memory, warmed solely by each other’s body.

They gather themselves off the floor, still holding onto each other, like kids afraid of letting go of a helium-filled balloon. Shiv’s hair is a tangled mess, her face splotchy and still sticky with tears, and Karolina doesn’t have to look in a mirror to feel the pools of mascara gathered under her eyes like the torn-up trenches of some bloody battle.

Shiv seems to have read her mind.

“We should wash up first, huh?” she smiles ruefully. “Kendall might think we’re actually touched by his immersive trauma dump.”

“Maybe we should give him the satisfaction.” Karolina laughs, shaking her head. “It is his birthday.”

“I think there’s been enough yes-men involved in this shit fest.” she scoffs. “Come on, let’s find that fucking toilet. I’ve been close to pissing myself for the past, like, half an hour.”

She grabs Karolina’s wrist, keeping a loose grip on it even as they make their way back into the crowd and have to break apart. It feels mortifying and exhilarating, being so reckless under these neon lights. Like they might get away with it, or do it anyway, despite the consequences.

-

The ride to Karolina’s is silent, both of them finally bearing the full weight of their exhaustion. Shiv hasn’t said anything about where she’s told Tom she’d be going, or whether she’s told him at all, so Karolina doesn’t ask. She’s tired of letting these men throw their weight around even when they’re not in the room. All she cares about, anyway, is the weight of Shiv’s hand in hers, the soft skin and firm muscle, the way her fingers twitch slightly at every ghost of a touch.

It’s tiring, living her life in the abstract. Shaping herself into ideas of a life she’s decided she must live.

Shiv is real, though. She’s solid and burning brightly beside Karolina, and she’s not someone Karolina could ever see as theoretical. She’s alive in a way that scares Karolina, an unknown, uncontrollable variable defined only by herself. Occupying a place in the world shaped by herself, bent with bare hands and fury out of whatever mould she’d been thrown into. She can’t imagine how isolating that must have been, living her entire life clawing at the walls of one cage after the other, thrashing against every expectation of what she could and should and mustbe.

She used to think that what they were doing, this clumsy, clandestine clashing of hands and teeth in dark rooms, that this was a fantasy for the both of them. An imagined slice of life. A daydream they could fall into when real life was weighing them down. She’s slowly coming to realize that it might, in fact, be the other way around. That the closest she’s come to feeling real in months has been when Shiv is touching her. That she can’t hear anything quite as clearly as Shiv’s soft sighs. That life comes rushing over her every time she feels her knees press against the edge of the mattress, and drains out of her when she hears her alarm go off.

“Can we…” Shiv stirs next to her.

Karolina urges her to continue. “What?”

“Everything I said—I just wanted it to hurt.” she whispers. “I don’t think about you like that.”

She begins to pull her hand away, but Karolina grasps onto it tighter, tethering Shiv to the moment.

“I know.” she nods. “I don’t think about you like that, either.”

Shiv chances a look in Karolina’s direction. “Yeah?”

They share a brief, watery smile, which feels like the most intimate thing they’ve done. They’ve bared their bodies to each other, but never the beast of their anger—never the things lurking beneath their skin, the urge to tear and shatter.

In that tiny moment, it doesn’t feel like they’re looking into each other’s eyes, but somewhere beyond. It feels like taking a deep breath and stepping into the dark entryway of a basement, commanding the dark and telling it to scatter—telling it you’re home.

[twodragonsinatrenchcoat]

💌? :3c

My love my light <333 you're always so consistently kind and positive(not that you need to be that all the time don't get it twisted!!!) And I am so supremely lucky to have you in my life <333

[monn-i]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals, followers and all the wonderful people on here! 💖

I don't normally do these because I forget and get lazy (sorry to like the 7 other people sending me these asks) but I read your answer and it was goofy SUPREME!!! So :3

1. My friendz my little guyz my beloved.... muah <333

2. Musik!!!! Angel to me.... waow..... LOUD music

3. Mcr . Separate from number two. I would perform a locked room murder on them I am CHEWING them with my teeth. Stick her in the glue trap

4. gay sex and JORKONG IT TO YAOI!!!@ whore life 4evver 🫶🫶🫶

5. My kity cattts ouhhh.... stupid and dumb and stupid

6. WEED BEING HIGH WEED !!!!!!! 420 4EVRRR x333

7. The human experience

8. SHOPPING SPLURGE !!!!! I DESERVE LITTLE TREATS SOMETIMES...

9. blood. ..... evrything abbout her.... .. .

10. MOSH PPIT!!!!!!!!

I never learned to count as you can see

[megatraven]

My Favorite Astoria Kiss CGs

Alex:

THIS CG is one of my top favorites of theirs in general, the art is just gorgeous, they're being so casually intimate, MC is moving into their apartment, the little deer she's had since she was a kid is with her.... so soft, so sweet. Eternally a fave. It's the background of every computer I use at work when I log in. When I worked on day shift at my job, my supervisor saw me changing my background so he took away the ability to set backgrounds on the computers for everyone.... but I can still manually go to the photo and set it as background so check mate, boss, Alex x MC will reign supreme for all time <3333 The perfect computer tile background AND the perfect photo in general, I love EVERYTHING about it

Hydra:

MY ICON!!! At the time of posting this anyways. They're so cute, their expressions so serene. Hydra's gentle (but firm) hold..... this art is so pretty, I could legit stare at it for hours and not get tired.. It's so soft and pretty and the colors are so vibrant, they really make this CG come to life <333

Medusa:

What's better than snuggling in bed and kissing in the morning light? Nothing!!!! And they know it, look at them!!!!! Their sleep-tousled hair, MC's hand gripping into Medusa's.... Medusa holding her close.... perfection <3 Also a sifentoe that MC's underwear are just. really cute. I love the underwear-sleepshirt combo.

Astraeus:

It was hard to pick between this and Astraeus' first CG, but DAMN if this one doesn't take my breath away Every Single Time. The lighting, the positioning, MC in her cool armor, the way theyr'e sitting together.... Oh, I love them so much <33333 Everything about this is just too good, too amazing, too wonderful <3

Cerberus:

Look at this. Look at the glow of the sun haloing them. Their first kiss, before they're even together. It's a cover but you can't even tell just by looking at it because they're both that into it, they both want it as much as the other. It's MC taking the lead, you can tell- her arms wrapped around Cerberus' neck, while his own are at her back to keep her steady. Augh. AUGH!!!!! They're already so in love it's insane!!!! <3

Hades:

THIS ONE IS SO CUTE WAAAAH!!!!! MC is so short compared to Hades that he has to bend over a little to kiss her... the background is so pretty, it sets the mood so nicely.... but most importantly.... SHE'S HOLDING ONTO HIS LAPELS!!!!!!! Iconic <3 Will never get enough of them. Will never get over the LAPELS!!!!!!!!!!! The lapels. The lapels!!!!!!!! I'm obsessed. MC probably is, too, it's fine.

Chimera:

This one is probably tied for my favorite Chimera CG in general. THE STRADDLING. The straddling. Need I say more? No. Will I? Yes. THEY'RE SO CUTE, MC's outfit is to DIE FOR and I don't think this particular outfit shows up in any other CG??? She's so cute though and I'm so weak. Chimera is, too, look at him. He's a goner. Relatable.

[revclver-jesus]

I don't think a tramp stamp in itself is wild, what is wild that HE of all people has it. That he decided to follow an actual real western fashion trend and got a pentagram inked in a place at the time associated almost solely with 20 year old girls seeking to look sexy. Like it's so unserious. Silliest thing about his design, next to the ol' sailor ass heart on his right forearm, easily. Oh, and the way he literally emotes like ":333" too lmaoo

{{ NO I laterally couldn't agree more-- if it was just someone with the personality for it, especially when its more common with girls, like if you told me Tae Takemi had a tramp stamp I'd be like-- sure, sounds cute, that tracks fdhgkdsdf

But it's motherfuckinggggg Takaya Sakaki !!?? Anti-christ supreme, rival to the protag, tortured orphan of the most evil twist antagonist, first man to kill a major party member in the main franchise, Takaya?? THIS IS WHY I LOVE HIM-- Listen, all of them, Takaya, Jin, Chidori, every single one of them have this incredibly charming.... sincerity about them? Like-- Takaya was originally going to be this very boring evil businessman design. And that would have been just horrendous. nO, instead they deliberately chose to make all of them represent an alternative fashion style from the time period, with even Jin being a cyber goth. And I just really love that there's a realistic level of.... cringy-ness about them? fsdgkhdshg But its so earnestly.... teenager-like. Its not the effortless cool that the protag has, yknow, its a bunch of asshole kids you could meet at the mall-core. We all know at least one tatted chaotic white guy who never puts a shirt on, I know this, because he's all over the tags when you search "Grunge" SDHGKDFS

Don't even get me started on the :3 the way his lips naturally curl and cause him to make the >:3 face in every other icon i have i swear to chRIST-

But most of all I love how I have to sit here and try to put myself into the mental space of a man that has all these serious things going on in his life and his very severe and nihilistic ideology but at some point canonically sat down and someone asked him where he wanted it and he grabbed his belt and tugged down just a little to show the spOT---

I'm losing my mind. Takaya will make me lose my mind. }}

[thrill-seeker-vn]

🐹 🥺 you go out of your way to approach others and in turn are so approachable so a little hamham for you

[titan-god-helios]

30 days of autism acceptance: day 1

[1 April: The typical introduction question! Tell us something about yourself. If you can't think of anything, try these: What do you enjoy to do in your free time? What music or series/show do you like? Are you happy with your current living situation/the people you live with? What's one of your favourite foods?]

hi all !! my name's ash, i go by all pronouns (prefer they/them), i'm pansexual, nonbinary and audhd (self dx). in my free time, i usually read or play videogames, and sometimes i'll do some art for myself although i treat it more as fun work otherwise nothing ever gets finished that i start on! at the moment, i'm reading the series of unfortunate events by lemony snicket (on book ten - the slippery slope - and about 2/3 through), i absolutely adore mitski, ichika nito (guitar soloist, math rock style), any form of rock although i prefer heavier rock//(death) metal, jazz, electroswing, LOTS of musicals (where are my hamilfans ????) indie music aaand i like a lot of punk-rock type rap too, from artists like grandson, call me karizma and so on (does that classify as rap ?? im really bad at naming genres so there's another thing <3). i'll link my main playlist here for you to listen if you're interested !! in terms of shows, i never tend to finish anything fully because i easily get bored of shows halfway through unless i really enjoy some aspect of them BUT that being said, i'm working my way through rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles currently (tmnt has always been a comfort franchise for me), and some previous shows i adored are arcane, the umbrella academy, aggretsuko, and bits and bobs of david attenborough's wildlife documentaries//docuseries on netflix. the people i live with are okay for the most part - my mum has taken a huge toll on my mental health and so has my dad, although honestly speaking i prefer him to her simply because he acknowledges that he's done that and respects me as a person (most of the time). my sister is great although i feel bad for being annoyed by her a lot of the time because, due to the day in and day out stress my mum gives, im either burnt out, in sensory overload, having a shutdown (i rarely have meltdowns most likely due to trauma reasons and also how i just naturally process emotion) but other than the bad stuff, i have it good in terms of living conditions. bonus points for my wonderful boyfriend @paracosmicboy who makes it so much better on the daily <333 i love cooking and baking and anything in the kitchen !! its my happy place and sososo good for grounding or distraction when im in a bad place, plus i get yummy food and the satisfaction of a completely clean living space when i'm all done !! really makes me feel good and in control (something i don't have a lot of in my day to day life and it stresses me out beyond compare). speaking of food, i don't really have any favourites in particular since i adore a lot of food from many different cuisines and people (i'm sensory seeking in that respect and was only a picky eater when i was really little). THAT BEING SAID, give me some sushi and udon noodle soup, or any type of comforting asian food, and im at home instantly (i'm half asian and despite my complicated relationship with my mum, her cooking is supreme above all others (apart from certain traditional greek dishes that my dad cooks) and it always makes me feel a little happier than i was before i ate it, and it reminds me of all the good moments with my mum instead of the bad - its magical). aaand yeah !! this is already really long so i'm gonna stop typing now <3 have a wonderful day my lovelies !!

[mlchaelwheeler]

SARAH SARAH SARAHHHHHHH MY DEAREST AND SWEETEST AND BELOVED 💙💛 i am wishing you the happiest of happy birthdays! i hope that your day was lovely and that you end it on a good note & with sweet dreams tonight. in every way except physical (curse u, distance!! 😡), i am hugging u n squeezing u n swaying us side to side. you're so funny, kind, and intelligent—it's always such a treat to see you on the dash, sharing your gifts n making our days tht much brighter. sending all my love out into the universe rn in hopes tht you'll feel it on ur special day. :') happy sarah day!!!!!!!!!

p.s. my gift is this very sweet, very #candid polaroid of us!! 📸🫶🫂

DENISEEEE light of my life tumblr mutual supreme platonic soulmate MWAH <333 if distance were inconsequential i would be wrapping you in the biggest hug and NEVER letting go btw. in case you were wondering. 🫂🫂🫂🫂 <- that's us! 💕🥺🥰 ilysm!! <3

[masterofd1saster]

CJ current events 14nov24

I seem to recall the Supreme Court saying something about such spectacle in the courtroom...

The carnival atmosphere at trial could easily have been avoided since the courtroom and courthouse premises are subject to the control of the court. Sheppard v. Maxwell, 384 U.S. 333, 358 (1966)

***

An elementary school? Jeff Epstein/Roman Polanski/Bubba say you're sick.

DENVER — Police have arrested a Denver Public Schools social worker on child sex assault charges. The Denver Police Department said Thursday that officers arrested 44-year-old Emilio Ramos-Avila for investigation of three counts of sexual assault on a child by one in a position of trust on Wednesday. The school district said Ramos-Avila has been employed with the district since August 2015. He is currently a social worker at Force Elementary School. Ramos-Avila has been on administrative leave since Oct. 17 and will remain on leave until the district can finish its investigation, said DPS.***

***

Sorry, she's smart enough to tell you "get a life; GBTW"

Democrat U.S. senators and other party members are mulling convincing Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor to resign so President Joe Biden can replace her with another leftist judge before President-elect Donald Trump takes office on Jan. 20. The 70-year-old Sotomayor, nominated by then-President Barack Obama in 2009, is the oldest Democrat-appointed justice on the court. She's also a life-long diabetic. In 2018, paramedics were called to her home after the justice suffered "symptoms of low blood sugar." Lawmakers long have known about Sotomayor's health issues, but as with Biden's cognitive issues, Democrats refrained from admitting potential problems caused by the condition. Now, Democrats see Sotomayor's situation as a way to seat someone on the high court before Trump takes office with Republicans in control of the Senate. The GOP won a majority in the chamber during Tuesday's elections. A Democrat senator told Politico that the topic has been discussed by members, who realize making an attempt to replace Sotomayor would be "a risky play," according to the outlet.***

https://www.newsmax.com/newsfront/democrats-supreme-court-sonia-sotomayor/2024/11/08/id/1187246

***

Who gets high bail?

Golden officer killed in suspected DUI crash identified; Colorado School of Mines professor arrested

The Golden police officers killed and injured Wednesday in a suspected DUI crash were identified Thursday. Earlier that day, a Colorado School of Mines professor accused in the crash appeared in court. Golden officials on Thursday afternoon said Evan Dunn, 33, was killed in the line of duty while responding to the crash on Colorado 58. Officer Bethany Grusing was seriously injured. Stephen Geer, a 43-year-old Colorado School of Mines mechanical engineering professor who was arrested and held overnight in the crash that killed Dunn, is being investigated for vehicular homicide and vehicular assault. He appeared Thursday morning before Jefferson County Court Judge Thomas Vance, who set Geer’s bond at $250,000 and scheduled his next appearance for Nov. 14. Bruce Finley writes.

***

***

Only 30?

Richard Anthony Reyna Densmore, 47, of Kaleva, Michigan, was sentenced to 30 years in prison for sexually exploiting a child. Densmore pleaded guilty to sexual exploitation of a child, part of a broader indictment that charged him with other child exploitation offenses.*** Densmore is a member of 764, a network of violent extremists who seek to normalize the production, sharing, and possession of child pornography and gore material to desensitize and corrupt youth toward future acts of violence. Members of 764 gain notoriety by systematically targeting, grooming, and extorting victims through online social media platforms. Members demand that victims engage in and share media of self-mutilation, sexual acts, harm to animals, acts of random violence, suicide, and murder, all for the purpose of accelerating chaos and disrupting society and the world order. Densmore, known as “Rabid,” became notorious in the 764 network by creating online “Sewer” communities on Discord where members recruited children – including by infiltrating online gaming sites that children frequent – to cut themselves and engage in graphic sexual acts. Densmore boosted membership in “Sewer” by advertising livestreams of children engaging in self-mutilation (cutshows) and sexually explicit activity “on cam.” He threatened victims to cut themselves by telling them, “I have all your information. I own you. . . . You do what I say now kitten.”  Densmore kept child pornography and bloody images of “Rabid,” “Sewer,” and “764” carved into victims’ limbs, in some cases with razor blades and boxcutters nearby. Densmore also sexually exploited children. In October 2022, Densmore unsuccessfully tried to persuade a minor girl, Jane Doe, to send him an explicit picture with “Rabid” written on her bare chest. When she expressed discomfort with that request, Densmore contacted another Discord user and paid him Nitro, a form of Discord currency, to help secure a sexually explicit picture of Jane Doe. Densmore’s efforts were successful and Jane Doe, at the request of the other Discord user, sent Densmore and the user a nude video of herself with “Rabid” written on her chest.***

***

Does the word "irony" mean anything to you?

***

Recognize Boris & Natasha?

***

Really? Write in didn't win?

DELTA TWP. - Former Township Supervisor Ken Fletcher, who resigned in September just after being arraigned on charges of accosting a child for immoral purposes, earned enough votes at the polls Tuesday to take office again on Jan. 1. Fletcher, a Democrat who ran unopposed on the ballot, received nearly 89% of the votes cast, according to unofficial results. That's despite being accused of having sexual conversations over text messaging and a dating app with a police investigator posing as a 15-year-old boy. He was charged as part of a sting run by a regional internet crimes task force that includes the Eaton County Sheriff's Office, Lansing police, Michigan State Police and Charlotte police, said Eaton County Prosecutor Doug Lloyd. Two write-in candidates, Richard Ott and Saturn Wells, filed to run after Fletcher resigned. Eaton County Clerk Diana Bosworth said it could take another week before the votes for each are tallied but neither received more votes than Fletcher. Just over 11% of the votes cast were for write-ins. ***

***

tues

***In Florida, voters failed to approve a constitutional amendment that would have legalized recreational marijuana, defying both expectations and the endorsement of president-elect Donald Trump. Voters in South and North Dakota defeated legal weed initiatives, too, by decisive margins—the second and third time for each state, respectively. Bright-blue Massachusetts had the chance to become the third state, after Oregon and Colorado, to legalize psychedelic drugs. Polls suggested Question 4 was too close to call, but Bay Staters ended up rejecting it by a 14-point margin. Even Cambridge and Boston could barely post majorities.  These votes came from the grassroots, defeating big-money campaigns for legalization. The pro-legalization camp in Florida, backed by the massive cannabis company Trulieve, spent nearly $150 million, more than any prior recreational marijuana campaign. The Yes on 4 campaign in Massachusetts spent just $7 million, but that was still 73 times more than the opposition.*** “It shows how drugs are not the winning issue many politicians have been tricked into believing,” Kevin Sabet, president of the anti-legalization group Smart Approaches to Marijuana, said. “As marijuana has become legalized, commercialized, and normalized, its effects are now so ubiquitous they are hard to miss.”  Indeed, Americans might finally be noticing that more permissive drug policy does not just mean that people can partake of a joint without the police hassling them. It also creates big social problems: car crashes (accounting for an estimated 1,400 fatalities per year), public disorder (a 35 percent increase in chronic homelessness in states that legalize), and surging insanity (a 70 percent increase in psychosis among teens that use). Even drugs like pot and psychedelics can make people less responsible, harder to employ, and more dysfunctional.   For the past decade, marijuana legalization has seemed like an unstoppable juggernaut. Since 2012, 24 states have legalized—14 in the past four years alone. Voters have been willing to permit others’ vices. But increasingly, they’re seeing that those vices have consequences for them, too.*** Today, voters can look at California, which is blanketed in unlicensed shops. They can talk to friends in New York City, who complain constantly of the smell of weed. They can learn about Colorado, where 15 percent of marijuana users report driving after using. Those impressions are backed by a growing body of research. Marijuana legalization has been shown to cause homelessness and addiction, as the availability of a harmful substance attracts and increases dysfunctional behavior. It causes more fatal accidents, as intoxicated drivers choose to get behind the wheel. It may even lower property values, as the proliferation of legal pot shops makes neighborhoods less attractive places to live or work. ***

[quornesha]

African Owl Pigeon Prophecy And Symbolism

The Following Channel is from higher powers, Divine, the ancestral plane and is prophetic through Quornesha S. Lemon|

Whether the appears in dreams, visions, waking life or synchronicities, it is a sign and message that You will never be an inmate because your destiny or assignment isn't appointed to be chained. You will never be drowned by water or destroyed by fire because your strength has been the fortitude that has surpassed that test. You are indestructible, you cannot be destroyed. You're walking into a season of yes. And that table divine/God has prepared for you...is now. Don't allow others to deter you from your beliefs. What's held you up this long is obviously working. Keep working with what is familiar to you. You will never be in a psych ward because your destiny is overflowing. You're walking into an era where you cannot be denied. Whatever it is that God/divine wants you to have, you will have it (them). 

African owl pigeon, you're about to cascade in blessings.  You have just shattered chains that have held you back for years. You know your power, see yourself as God/divine/ancestors see you. You will see your ancestors working on your behalf. What was once behind the scenes is coming to the forefront. Your support is coming in. No longer will your household experience premature loss. Those days are over in regards to money, home, and everyday provision. Lack is no more. Your abundant harvest is ready, your crown is ready, your robe is ready, your kingdom is ready. And so are you. You're getting ready to lead millions of people to their promised land. You are a descendent or a likeness of Moses. You will deliver so many people. Your success, is assured now, don't never ever surrender your work ethics. They're needed. What your ancestors didn't get the chance to complete, you will, on their behalf. 

You will soon be surrounded by giants  Giants that can catapult you and will do so without hesitation. Any previous cords or blockages that were in your way, are suddenly crumbled and falling down. A new day is on the horizon. You're being blessed from the 4 cardinals of the earth. Every region is gathering together. God sends offerings to you, this can be in the form of an object, fruit baskets, new vehicle, new home, free items, treasures and heirlooms. You're a God/Goddess yourself and the omega is sending in his blessings to you. You've put divine at the head of your life. And now, you're being crowned with something amazing. 

The African owl Pigeon, is symbolic of freedom, this can come in the form of financial freedom, legal chains being removed, systemic chains falling away, cords and ties being cut, oaths and curses being removed. The ancient wisdom of the universe is being shared with you. Listen and record the downloads. People will start pouring into you. Watch how blessed you become. And always respect those who lift you up. You don't believe yourself to be better than others and you don't believe anyone's better than you, and that's a perfect key to have. 

The Orishas are rising up on your behalf. And any Orisha that was used against you appeases on your behalf. You have, no fault in you. 333..

You have mighty angels on your side. Archangels are surrounding you. The whispers in the wind are sending in clients to you. You're being recommended by heaven, and a divine supreme source. The days of spinning your wheels have ended. Guard your circle and don't allow everyone into it. You've shifted and if family is truly your family, they'll still be there as you release them from needing you all of the time. This isn't about little kids, or your spouse but extended family members. You don't need anyone to disrupt your life from outside or within your household. 

You are anointed and divine isn't going to allow people, things or circumstances to come upon you. You have guardians surrounding you now. An army, Legions of angels and ancestors. Your glow is shining. Anything that opposes you, is dealt with so swiftly that it dies before it reaches you. So it doesn't seem like anything is against you. 

The African owl Pigeon is symbolic of order, protection and following the law as well as being a change maker of the laws. Your justice is now. You are for the people, you're not just for yourself any longer. You'll be aided in the mission that has now been activated upon your life. the scales of life, the odds, have finally tipped in your favor. Freedom is yours, and you'll help others obtain theirs also. With this African Owl Pigeon Totem, you may work in law/politics, or your presence in law/politics could be spiritual. Whatever the case may be, you're powerful. Get ready to be exalted. Get going mama/papa Moses. They can't steal your spotlight this time, because the moment they try to go before you. The will fall. The way is paved for you not your opponents. People who've had no problem using you to get ahead but refused to give a lift, will not prosper.

This message isn't, obviously resonant with all whose paths it crosses, as perhaps you may encounter someone of this vernacular, mastery or skill. Therefore, it is a sign from the universe that you're meant to work with such a person. 

Need further clarity or your own queries answered? Book your own reading as my schedule is full and I do not guarantee a reply on social media regarding this post.

If this is not you, then it is time to get clear to rejoin your tribe or the rest of the world of infinite beings. It's time to bring your light to the forefront. However, if you aren't able to invoke, heal or otherwise on your own, call on the assistance of shamans, healers, intuitive people, etc. to assist you. This synchronicity can possibly have specific meanings for you, it's time to get insight. 

The Gift that Quornesha Has can never be duplicated, She is a Shaman, Writer, Healer,  And Teacher with incredible prophetic/healing gifts. Please do not infringe upon her rights as the author. You are not permitted to reuse, nor are you to sale as you wish. This information has been made available to you for the purpose of introduction and demonstration. All rights reserved. If you'd like to use this in a magazine, online publication, or other, please ask for permission first. Legal actions will be taken if you proceed to impose. Be blessed, bless others and be at peace on your journey. What you do is coming back on you. Make sure that it is good, and all is well within you, through you and around you.  The source sees all and knows what you think it does not. 

[ao3feed-drstrange]

Into A New World

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/nhboLkS by Trickstress Stephen is in the final steps of his training to become the Sorcerer Supreme when Shuma-Gorath attacks Manhattan. After a fight, Stephen finds himself at the beginning of the brand new journey that will change his life forever. Strange Tales of Halloween 2024 Prompt: Wanderer Prequel to The 333 Chronicles series. Words: 1659, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 6 of Strange Tales of Halloween 2024 Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Doctor Strange (Movies), Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: Gen Characters: Stephen Strange, Wong (Marvel), Shang-Chi (Marvel), Shuma-Gorath (Marvel) Additional Tags: Strange Tales, Prequel, Oblivious Stephen Strange, Stephen Strange Being an Asshole read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/nhboLkS