#life kicking my ass again

[glitchedcosmos]

Smoochie

[frenchublog]

[cioror]

damn... its been so long my apologies

[lemonisntreal]

Avoiding lineart at all costs

Also hey yeah I changed the blog aesthetic, next post's gonna be an "About Me" because I want one lmao ☝️ [edit: me when I lie]

[grimalkinmessor]

Just to put a lot of my posts and beliefs about Light Yagami's character in one post (headcanons not included):

• He does not do anything for purely moral reasons. The reason he started killing criminals was because he was curious, and then afterward his "crusade" was built from panic and spite. He thought using the Death Note was going to kill him, so he decided to take everyone he considered a threat to society down with him—that way he would still be good. He would still be remembered. If he can't live, then criminals don't deserve to either. The weight loss and the insomnia shown in the manga, were more likely results of a fear of dying than moral stress.

• Then Light discovers he won't die. This negates part of the spite, but not the need for a moral justification to keep himself "good". He no longer needs to be a martyr, so instead he's chosen to become a God.

• During this week and half of time, Light goes from being a bored, lonely, listless teenager disgusted with the world because it's not how his father taught him it should be, disgusted because if he can manage perfection why can't the rest of the world—to a boy with a new friend and a new mission that gives him purpose. Something interesting. If the world can't be perfect on its own, he'll have to help it. The world needs his help, making him its "savior".

• In comes L. It is no longer about Kira, no longer about saving the world from itself, even if he might tell himself it is—it's about the game. Kira was a fun pastime, yes, but L has made things so much more interesting. (Light and Ryuk are actually wildly similar in several ways it's just not immediately obvious). This game is more fun, too, because this time he has an opponent—one not so nebulous as "the criminals of the world", who offered no challenge. Light is still justifying his actions through a lens of morality, because he has to, but they're beginning to run rather thin.

• Both the broadcast and the obvious taunts to L through changing Kira's killing methods supports the above. "You're too stupid, L. If you were just a little smarter, we could've had some fun." Drawing L in was to progress their game, not Kira's goals. If Light truly only cared about Kira's vision, Kira's new world, Kira's righteous justice; then he wouldn't have continued to play the game after the broadcast. There was no way for L to find him without Light drawing him in—the Death Note is literally the perfect murder weapon. Light knew this, he just ignored it because he wanted to play.

• In the same vein: Yotsuba Light doesn't know he's playing the game. He's forgotten that there even is a game, and so he sees L as someone who's been duped, who either isn't as intelligent as he's been made out to seem, or someone who's being purposefully cruel just because he can. Either way, to Yotsuba Light, L's threat level has only increased, because Light no longer has any sort of weapon to go against him with. He can't even wield his own innocence against him, because his innocence is not certain. Even to himself. Yotsuba Light knows that he has to play along with L's plays of friendship and morality in order to secure his freedom, but he does not respect L or like him. At least, not until near the end, where they're closing in on Higuchi. Where his freedom seems closer....and yet he sees his own, true innocence as more tenuous than ever. Notably, even when Light feels positively towards L there, he still does not share his suspicions about himself with him. His own life still takes precedence over any sort of justice or morality he might have, because Yotsuba Light is still Light. And Light will always put his own self-interests first.

• After killing L, something interesting happens. Because the game ends, but Kira is still left. And Light was willing to take risks and make wild plans in his game with L, but Kira's goals always, always came after his own life. And when only Kira's goals are left, Light stops taking those big, potentially lethal risks. (i.e. bomb desk trap, killing Raye Penber in person by handing him pages of the Death Note, killing Naomi Misora in person right in front of the police station, writing Higuchi's name while sitting right beside L with the murder weapon literally in his hand, etc. etc.). Winning the game was worth dying for—Kira's ideals are not. Or, to put it even more simply: His pride is worth dying for, but his morals are not. Five years after his victory against L, he's presented with another game, but instead of feeling fearful and excited as he did with L, Light is angry. Arrogant and angry. Because this isn't a game to these opponents, as it was to L—they're playing against each other, and Light is merely a piece in it. This game is not like his game with L; it's more like his "game" with the criminals of the world. One with no true challenge, just another defense of Kira's world—worth winning, but not worth dying for.

• Light's pride is more important to him than anything. He needs to be able to take pride in himself and his actions. Pride comes before everything else, before Kira, before family, before L, even before his own desires and physical health. He does not enjoy killing—he just turned it into something he could be proud of. Into another mastering of craft. Light is not particularly sadistic, he's just spiteful. He'll only take pleasure in someone's suffering if they make someone else suffer first, especially if that someone is him. Attacking his pride would count as making him suffer, because that's the most important thing in the world to him. Even though Light also values his life incredibly highly, attempting to kill him wouldn't invoke as much hell-hot wrath as attempting to humiliate him would. And Light will always get even. Always. He does not forgive and forget.

• He believes every lie he tells himself. Every. Lie. He is a Good Man. He is Good Son. He is a Savior. He is Better. He is NOT Evil, he is Good. He's incredibly adept at not only fooling other people, but fooling himself. Even if he's vaguely aware of the truth, he'll take great pains to make sure that truth never comes to light—because it would crush him.

• Light does not take his own desires into account. If he likes or wants something that contradicts with the perfect image he's crafted, he purges it from his mind. Makes excuses for why he doesn't need it, or even convinces himself very thoroughly that he didn't even want it in the first place. If it's not something he can be proud of (or convince himself to be proud of), he doesn't allow himself to desire it.

• Light sees everyone as beneath him (family notwithstanding, Light loves his family deeply), and while it's a pyramid scale of how far beneath him they are, it's not actually ranked by things like gender, sexuality, race—it's ranked by morality and intelligence. The more intelligent and moral you are, the higher up you are on the scale. Light feeling hostile towards someone does not always mean he sees them as further down beneath him; with L and Misa specifically, it means that they're a threat. Light tends to only see people near the top of the intelligence pyramid as threats; evidenced by him dismissing Matsuda completely even with the knowledge that Matsuda was a marksmen, and yet him immediately setting out to kill Naomi when he found out she figured out one of Kira's secrets. With Takada and Mikami, he treats them exactly the same as each other because they're both on the same level of the scale—and he didn't hesitate to get rid of either of them. (Or try to get rid of, in Mikami's case). Everyone is either a tool, a threat, a criminal, a citizen, or family to him. People to use (tool, criminal), people to serve and/or placate (citizen, family), and people to eliminate (threat, criminal). Everyone falls into at least one of these categories for him.

• Light Yagami is a tragic character. And he's a tragic character because he refuses to believe he's part of a tragedy. He would rather swallow broken glass than be considered a victim of anything.

[an-orca-on-a-stroll]

Severance season 2 ep 2 thoughts/theories under cut

long post!

1. So as I theorized last week, here's the confirmation everything that mr Milkshake told the innies was, indeed, 100% bullshit. It's been 3 days, not 5 months, and also:

this is false bc we know now that Mark didn't want to return, instead it was Milchick who worked very hard to convince him.

This is also false, they were fired and then re-hired after Mark S' outburst.

This is fake as well (this one was very obvious tbh). So I think it's safe to assume that anything else Milchick told the innies should be taken with a huge grain of salt at best, personally I don't believe a single word, especially his claim that there are no more cameras.

2. MS COBEL IS BACKKKKK MY BEAUTIFUL QUEEN WITH SO MANY DISORDERS. Her scenes were very interesting. She was offered a promotion yet was not happy about it. I had my suspicions before but this basically confirms that she doesn't really care about her career at Lumon, she specifically wants to be in the severed floor, so when they promoted her, and as a result removed her from the severed floor, she was not happy. Though of course they didn't give her the option to refuse. I think she's right and that Lumon is scared of her, for some reason they don't want her in the severed floor anymore. Much to think about. I think there is some fuckery similar to the Gemma situation going on with either her (supposedly dead?) husband and/or child. This to me is confirmed by something i bring up in my next point

3. I love that we see outie Mark genuinely furious for the first time ever, it's definitely the most "non-sadness-adjacent" emotions he's ever shown.

I mean think about this guy. His wife dies, he falls apart from grief and can't put himself together, loses his job, then he gets another job that is weird and everybody hates this for him but he does it anyway until after two years it feels like maybe, maybe he might be ready to start moving on.

Then he meets his (alleged) coworker who tells him they're best friends and pulls him into a big conspiracy about Lumon, shortly after said colleague dies in very suspicious circumstances, then he's a witness and accessory to murder (of the head of security of his workplace, no less), then his innie unexpectedly comes out for 40 minutes and wow, nobody told him that could happen except for the fine print in what I'm certain was like, a hundreds page long contract considering how controversial his job is. And his innie says some very unsettling shit about the work he's been doing for the past 2 years, but he is physically unable to remember all this fucked up stuff despite being in the middle of it 8 hrs a day for 2 years. Then his innie claims that his wife, whose dead body he saw with his own eyes, is actually alive. And oh his weird apparently well-meaning neighbor was actually his boss this whole time, stealing his dead wife's things, keeping him under surveillance and repeatedly invading his privacy and trust.

I'm not surprised Mark's first reaction was wanting to get away, he was probably in shock and denial bc that is a lot to take in. He tentatively returns bc, like Cobel said, he does get swayed easily, but I think deep down he knows something fucked up is happening at Lumon (read the paragraph above again for points) but I think he becomes fully convinced something's up with Gemma after his encounter with Cobel. Cobel's reaction is interesting to say the least.

she does this like. Pained sigh, then silence for a WEIRDLY long time, and she looks like she might start crying??? am I imagining this. Like she looks genuinely in pain. Then she screeches, almost runs Mark over, and runs away? I really think Cobel's in a similar position as Mark and something is going on at Lumon with someone she cares about, this is why she's so obsessed with Mark and Gemma specifically

4. Irving's outie is so damn cool. Like there's something about the way he acts?? That makes him so cool, his actor is really good at showing the difference between his two selves.

This line his hilarious considering what actually made innie Irving want to rebel, instead of his outie's weird subliminal messages. Anyway who is he talking to? Whoever is is, they clearly don't want to speak with Irving though.

5. ALSO?

I have no idea what the fuck is going on. WHY does Burt know where Irving lives? Did innie Irving tell him that when they met? Did they even meet?? When we see innie Irving again at Lumon for the first time he's banging against the elevator like he was banging on Burt's door, did they even see each other? If they didn't meet, again how does Burt know where Irving lives? Burt's name was circled in the map outie Irving had, did they already meet in the past? Maybe Irving was trying to convince other severed employees that Lumon is evil? Nothing makes sense but the curiosity is killing me

6. During the sequence of Mark going in and out of work, taking the elevator every day, there's the odd day out where the elevator turns black, like it did in ep 1 from innie Mark perspective. The timing also checks out, it's the day Mark rebelled because he wanted his team back and they threatened to fire him.

From innie Mark's perspective in ep1, he goes "up" the elevator, his eyes kinda roll back like he's having a seizure, then first the elevator turns black, then the screen.

Then the elevator dings, we see a closeup of Mark's eye for some reason,

and he's back on the regular severed floor.

From outie Mark's perspective, he goes down the elevator, and at first it's the transition we see everytime Mark goes up or down the regular elevator.

Then the elevator dings. At this point Mark's eyes roll back, the background fades to black,

Then the elevator dings again, and we see a closeup of his eye

then the black elevator in a distorted perspective, which then morphs into the regular elevator.

Then the elevator dings again, and the doors open to the regular exit.

This pretty much confirms Mark was in the testing floors that day. The same weird sequence with the black elevator as with ep1, plus the three dings of the elevator mean that during that day, Mark got into the elevator three times. Usually, both innie and outie hear the elevator two times during the sequence where they go up and down for a single day. One when they get to the severed floor, and another when they go back up (I checked with scenes from s2e1, and season 1 as well) Which means both the outie and the innie hear and remember the elevator dings, presumably bc the sound plays at the exact same moment they switch, or maybe it's just a cue to help us, the audience (but if not this has fascinating implications that the memories at the exact time of switching are retained by both innie and outie).

Anyway the fact that there are 3 dings means Mark stopped at another floor before going back up. And Mark stayed there until 9:15 pm that day !! We see the clock when he goes back up for the day after this sequence

(Well, I assume it's pm and not am, based on the fact that there are no other indicators from Mark's perspective that his day was odd, if he came out of work the next day at 9am I think they would have shown us Mark's reaction to this. He also tells good night to Judd, the security guard, in a very tired tone, and Judd seems sort of surprised, but I'm choosing to interpret as him being surprised at Mark coming out of work 4 hours late and not the morning after.)

6. HELENA MY BELOVED. Listen, I love Helly, I really do, and I've decided I love Helena as well. I wasn't sure before since we almost never see her directly, but honestly, ever since her "You're not a person" speech (which is one of my favorite scenes in the series) I knew she had something seriously fucked up going on with her and what can I say, I'm predictable, I eat that shit up. Love me a woman with so many disorders. Now that we have an episode with a lot of her perspective... man.

The way she just fucking. Smiles serenely after his father only says TWO (2) incredibly cruel words to her after the incident. Where her body was basically taken out of her control without her consent, which I can only imagine how scary that is (again, for all the outies it must have been very unsettling) And this happened at such a crucial moment, but it wasn't Helena's fault, it was Helly's (techically, arguably, Helly obviously had her reasons and we love her) And it's so fucked up compared on how her father treated her (Helly) in the season finale

He seems like a loving father, but then Helena fucks up, and he calls her a "fetid moppet"? My god, the implications. Does this mean that Helena only has the love of her family, her father, if she meets his expectations? And the instant she doesn't, her father treats her like that? So she grew up in this kind of environment where affection is not unconditional, where she has to hide her emotions, and always be the perfect heir, who can never make mistakes and who lives for her company.

For her company she became severed, and she wanted to keep at it at any cost, even when it was obvious her innie was miserable. Bc I think Helena always pushed herself to the limit all her life, so maybe she thought her innie also had to suck it up, bc Helena doesn't get to choose her life, so Helly doesn't either?

This shot!! Imagine how horrifying this had to be. She went into work and woke up hanging from the ceiling bc her other self tried to kill her. And she still went back to work afterwards. She still pushed on bc failure was not an option. That's so messed up

I wonder what exactly she thinks of Helly, if she really considers her not a person or if she said that just to get her to do what she wanted her to. But I think Helena's feelings changed after viewing the footage of her innie, and she's actually somewhat "jealous" of her now. Because Helly gets to be herself, genuinely, without a mask, she gets to have real friends who like her (does Helena have friends? maybe with Natalie, but are they really friends or is it just because Helena is the boss? Does she have other friends?) she gets to be bold and loud, and finds love, maybe, while not even "being a person".

Imagine how that has to feel, but maybe it's easier to take it out on Helly, instead of accepting that the way she grew up is fucked up. I'm full into speculation territory, I can't wait to see how this evolves. In the meantime, I DO think that Helena went to the severed floor, and she's herself, not Helly. Now that we've seen Helena in ep2, compared to how this "Helly" acts in ep1... it's really similar. "Helly" just looks kind of subdued, less bold, less angry. She lies about her experience outside, she kind of "pushed" her relationship with Mark, etc ...

Plus in the last scene of ep2, we see the MDR gang go down the elevator, one by one. For all of them we hear the elevator ding, but NOT for Helena. Which might be a cue for us that she didn't switch with Helly. Can't wait to find out more but in the meantime. Helena did nothing wrong. I mean yes she did all that (being the heir of an evil fucked up company) but also I love her so I forgive her.

7. It's just very interesting thinking about the innies and outies as a nature vs nurture kinda problem. Innie Dylan being funny and confident while his outie is anxious and stressed. Irving being all cool outside vs how his innie is, plus his anti/pro Lumon difference between innie and outie, bc he needs to give meaning to his actions. And it manifests in such different ways, although innie Irving still decided to rebel in the end. Helena vs Helly, two very strong-willed people but Helena gives it all for her company and familiy, while Helly fights against the system. And Mark, who I still haven't figured out bc I think Mark himself hasn't figured himself out either.

8. Last point, but why do they want Mark back so badly? At first I thought it was because he's the only one whose innie came out where there were clearly other witnesses (besides Helly), so they wanted to make sure he was still loyal to Lumon. But then they said this

They need Mark specifically to complete Cold Harbor (hinted in the previous episode to be Gemma's file) Why? Why does Mark have to do it? What about the previous files, they couldn't all have had connections to the other members of MDR, so why is this different? Or is Mark just that good of a refiner in general, and they just really really need Gemma's file completed? Why is Gemma specifically so important? Much to think about. Can't wait for the next episode !!

[elvenbeard]

Golden Morning ~

[miss-cigarettes]

̣̥☆·͙̥‧•̥̩̥ HAPPY NEW YEAR MY DEAR FRIENDS!! (人Wз눈)～♡ ੈ✩‧₊˚

[gingermintpepper]

hi, i haven't read the iliad and the odyssey but want to - do u have a specific translation you recommend? the emily wilson one has been going around bc, y'know, first female translator of the iliad and odyssey into english, but i was wondering on if you had Thoughts

Hi anon! Sorry for the somewhat late response and I'm glad you trust me with recommendations! Full, disclosure, I am somewhat of a traditionalist when it comes to translations of the source text of the Iliad + Odyssey combo wombo, which means I tend to prefer closeness in literal verbiage over interpretation of the poetic form of these epics - for that reason, my personal preferred versions of the Odyssey and Iliad both are Robert Fitzgerald's. Because both of these translations (and his Aeneid!) were done some 50+ years ago (63 for his original Odyssey tl, 50 flat for his Iliad and 40 for his Aeneid) the English itself can be a bit difficult to read and the syntax can get confusing in a lot of places, so despite my personal preferences, I wouldn't recommend it for someone who is looking to experience the Iliad + Odyssey for the very first time.

For an absolute beginner, someone who has tried to read one or both of these epics but couldn't get into it or someone who has a lot of difficulty with concentrating on poetry or long, winding bits of prose, I fully and wholeheartedly recommend Wilson's translation! See, the genius of Emily Wilson's Iliad + Odyssey isn't that she's a woman who's translated these classics, it's that she's a poet who's adapted the greek traditional poetic form of dactylic hexameter into the english traditional poetic form of iambic pentameter. That alone goes a very very long way to making these poems feel more digestible and approachable - iambic pentameter is simply extremely comfortable and natural for native english speakers' brains and the general briskness of her verbiage helps a lot in getting through a lot of the problem books that people usually drop the Iliad or Odyssey in like Book 2 of the Iliad or Book 4 of the Odyssey. I think it's a wonderful starting point that allows people to familiarise themselves with the source text before deciding if they want to dig deeper - personally, researching Wilson's translation choices alone is a massive rabbit hole that is worth getting into LOL.

The happy medium between Fitzgerald's somewhat archaic but precise syntax and Wilson's comfortable meter but occasionally less detailled account is Robert Fagles' Iliad + Odyssey. Now, full disclosure, I detest how Fagles handles epithets in both of his versions, I think they're far too subtle which is something he himself has talked at length about in his translation notes, but for everything else - I'd consider his translations the most well rounded of english adaptations of this text in recent memory. They're accurate but written in plain English, they're descriptive and detailled without sacrificing a comfortable meter and, perhaps most importantly, they're very accessible for native english speaking audiences to approach and interact with. I've annotated my Fagles' volumes of these books to heaven and back because I'm deeply interested in a lot of the translation decisions made, but I also have to specifically compliment his ability to capture nuance in the characters' of these poems in a way I don't often see. He managed to adapt the ambivalence of ancient greek morality in a way I scarcely see and that probably has a hand in why I keep coming back to his translations.

Now, I know this wasn't much of a direct recommendation but as I do not know you personally, dear anon, I can't much make a direct recommendation to a version that would best appeal to your style of reading. Ideally, I'd recommend that you read and enjoy all three! But, presuming that you are a normal person, I suggest picking which one is most applicable for you. I hope this helps! 🥰

[emiliemaria]

This is for all my charmac homies i love u<3

[iamhereinthebg]

Hey! Just a simple question but are you planning to still post on this blog? I miss your art

Have a good day!

Heyaaa

dsjhs thanks this is really sweet TvT!

I will probably drop stuff from time to time, I've been reading tbhk since more than 5 years now and I just can't let it go entirely (especially if the mysteries are involved :')) which.. doesn't happen a lot but hey it will come back right?....)

I honestly have near to 0 interest in the new arc rn (I just want any of the mysteries sans Hanako/Mitsuba rip) and I don't have much time :00 if I doodle some stuff I may drop them if I think to do so yay

I am doodling the mystery kids rn so this one maybe

Once again thanks this makes me really happy to readthat ToT

ps: I am unable to do a blog with every type of fanart/art I do, I need to separate them but I may create a new instagram for everything else so I will drop it if I do it if some people are interested yay

[n0heart]

.

[plan-3-tmars]

0708 products of their surroundings... products of their FAMILY their FATHERS!!!! I need to go lie down

"That's even if you could hope for it"

I'm stuck on this quote. Is he saying that he can only hope to be happy in the life he chose? Is he referencing his marriage? That he could only hope to eventually be happy with his decision to marry Hinako?

Or is he talking about how he can only hope for the life he actually wants?

"If it's a choice you made within the extent of your own responsibilities" / "I can't bear such responsibilities."

Guess I'll just die . Guess I'll just crawl into a hole and die .

Are his Father's teachings the 'responsibilities'.... Haha 🧍 I hate him

[leota-nexus]

GUESS WHO'S BACK

BACK AGAIN

[sidecast-text]

queen and her lover who somehow forgets that his job is loving her

[babyboywilson]

happiness is having someone comment that your writing is beautiful when you’ve been insecure to get back to writing again