#life is quite funny sometimes. what a joy that I can find joy in these things again!

[krockat]

ourfgh! today is being quite the good day so far;

- had a lovely talk with a random greenpeace activist on the phone, quite a charming and mindfueling conversation we had

- and also i got good points in social interaction this time!!

- figured out my near-constant shaking might Actually be because i am cold and not because of the recent traumas

- and somehow being okay with that while it's still august being this cold and summer nearing its end,

- because at least i got to see the seasons changing! which i didn't think i would

- and atleast i have a body! that functions somewhat, just not in ways that i really know very well or recognize

- sitting out on my balcony (yes i do have a balcony now) and enjoying the light and scenery outside

- and also get to see the slight golden tinge that being up at this hours the light give the surroundings

- and feeling quite decent and even (nearing) good regarding my friends again! the outside-system friends, that is

- and i think also - am slowly decreasing the distance between me and some inside-system friends. it's still a distance and i am still not at the point of Just talking yet. but. it's. something

- i saw some pictures of myself tonight that made me feel pretty. like. that in the past - in those pictures - that i was pretty then. which i didn't really feel in those photos at the time.

because like. whenever some time passes and i look back at myself in photos - i can look at that person in the past and see that they are pretty.

and then i take new photos that i don't feel pretty in, and then a while after the same thing happens again.

in the present, i rarely ever feel as pretty as i can see myself being in the past. actually i never feel as good about myself in the present as i do when i see myself in a bit seperately in the past.

i also, mostly only take pictures of myself when i feel pretty enough to even take a photo. meaning, the moments where i am 'performing' the best.

meaning, it's an unfair view of myself, because i capture my 'best' 'most acceptable' moments of myself, and the rest don't get captured.

and as a person who due to many disabilities struggles with hygiene and washing and cleaning and dressing and

- BREAK PAUSE LMAO LMAO LMAO

another little joyful thing just happened.

another random unsaved number called. i usually never pick such calls up nowadays! but, i did another time just now.

a person who (probably intentionally) clumsily told me their introduction and said they were calling from "the cybersecurity department" said they were calling me on urgent business.

i, after listening to their introduction and giving them space to explain that, respond with a sweet and warm tone and say "oh i am not interested, but thank you very much."

and they respond "oh no! we are not selling you anything! it's an urgent matter regarding the safety of your computer"

and i smirked, and said "oh, well, i don't actually have a computer." (a lie).

after a second On The Millisecond they disconnect the call.

AHAHAHAA

further previous post plan cancelled! i am not gonna go into my disabilities or whatever the fuck - not right now!

i am gonna live on this goofy high for now. might order a donut and a sandwich and an iced coffee from somewhere :D

[pineappleciders]

I loved your older siblings has, can u do more of them ?? :3

south park main 4 with a stereotypical older sibling reader

A/N: of course!!!! i've actually gotten several reqs to do more of these so i'm gonna do the main 4!!! i hope this is what you meant :D also so sorry for this being super late i have too many drafts

stan marsh

ANOTHER SHELLY??? pray for him

his friends have seriously been getting annoyed with how much he complains about his older siblings

you don't beat him up as bad as shelly does but you do shove him out of the way and noogie him and all that. you take his hat off and make fun of his greasy hair and he gets super pissy

always angry about how you always manage to woo your parents over. how sharon treats you like an angel when you're actually an evil dick

you and shelly gang up on him all the time LOL you two plan together in your rooms about how to annoy him. like when his friends are over you constantly open the door randomly just to put him on edge

whenever he's having problems with wendy he always comes to you. you always laugh and make fun of him but you actually give really good relationship advice

despite constantly making fun of him and annoying him you actually always have his back?? when he's getting bullied or he feels scared you're always on the person's ass and ready to jump in front of him at any moment

you'd never admit it though. stan is a little shit but he's a funny evil little shit

kyle broflovski

he peeks into a room to see you playing with ike and smiling and laughing and treating him like a little angel and he compares that to how you treat him and he thinks it's unfair

what he doesn't know is that when he was a baby like ike you were constantly cooing at him and carrying him. you think you would die of embarrassment if your parents showed him pictures of you reading him bedtime stories

he thinks you HATE him. like he is 100% convinced that you are out to get him. i mean you kinda are but it's tough love yk

you hide his hat often because you know he would rather die than go to school without it. he gets all pissed and snatches it when he finds it

calls you stupid and stuff like stereotypical sibling behavior but you're really the only grown-up he can trust with issues. sheila is amazing but she has quite a temper,, you're not that great either but you always help out somehow

tattles on you when you do smth he knows ur not supposed to be. he doesn't take immense joy in being a snitch but he thinks you deserve it

eric cartman

he hates you. you're #1 on his shit-list. like seriously be careful

whines and stamps his foot when you aren't a pushover and actually make him do basic things. like how dare you be a normal human being. he hates liane too but he always clings to her when you're around

whenever you see his friends you like to embarrass him by telling them how much of a mama's boy he is. and it doesn't really work because their opinion of him can't get much lower

is constantly plotting on how to get rid of you. sometimes you find papers in his room that are either extremely complicated or super simple plans to kill you

he also tapes threatening letters to your door sometimes. you're not really scared of him, but after the incident with the tenormans, you started locking your door at night..

his friends are actually quite thankful that there's someone to keep eric in his place now. he actually acts... somewhat more normal now. it's frightening how just having an older sibling can keep him in line

although... not completely. he's still a little devil and you pick him up by his scruff like a kitten whenever you catch him plotting.

kenny mccormick

even if you occasionally lock the door on him, and tease him in his stupid little roleplay outfits, he's still quite thankful to have an elder figure in his life who can take care of him.

admittedly, it's very hard to be mean to kenny and karen, so you typically find yourself bullying kevin the most.

it's never mean-spirited though. living in a household like that requires you to stick together, and you honestly wouldn't trade your siblings for the world

you get a job pretty early to start providing for your family, and you're often forced to bring kenny and the others with you to work at your boring cashier job. kevin likes to help out with restocking while karen and kenny play dolls behind the register

you smack kenny upside the head everytime you catch him reading porno mags.

his friends either think you're awesome or think you're lame. depends on how u act and cartman probably lowkey likes you but doesn't admit it cuz ur poor😭😭

even though you're mean to him u and kenny still chill a lot together. he'll always ask about adult stuff like weed but you never entertain his goofy ideas. he might try to act more grown, but he'll always be your baby brother!!!

[kimetsu-no-yaiba-writings]

hi ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

i want to say that i really like your work and would like to try to make a request with douma, where s/o is very random

for example, they just hang out and then s/o gives out a random strange fact like: "did you know that dolphins can fall in love very much and build relationships the same way as people?" or she can run up, pet him and run away, etc

feel free to ignore it! hope you having a wonderful day, love you

and forgive me for my english, it's quite crooked

Hello \(≧▽≦.)/ Thank you so much for saying that anon, that truly makes me happy to hear, also don't worry, your request has been heard loud and clear! And I love it!

I hope I've done your request justice (^ω^.) and please know that your always welcome back to browse and request something from me again.

Your English is great by the way,so don't worry!

Douma/Doma with an S/O who does random things - [Headcannons]:

There where many things that Douma/Doma found boring, in life and with entertainment, but you weren't boring - you were anything but boring

Each day you did (or said) something that tickled his funny bone

Each day you had a new fact, hobby, skill/talent and object that you had to share with him that genuinely had his brain working overtime at how you knew or did that

Douma/Doma finally found something to look forward too each day and it was you and your randomness

Your randomness was cute - adorable even - and it definitely saved you from scenario's that would have ended up with your death (and a rather pissed off and sad spouse) or at least hurt

Douma/Doma enjoys your random fact of the day - that you randomly drop on him at a random point in the day

When you first started your random fact dropping you'd started with facts about the human body during a tea ceremony

"Did you know that the average tongue is about three inches long" You said simply, taking a sip of your tea before continuing "and that the human body can shed about 40 pounds of skin?" - its safe to say that Douma/Doma was so dumbfounded by those facts he over-poured his tea with a rather star-struck expression

Although he does quite like the cute random facts that you tell him too - "Did you know that trees can make friends and talk to each other? Isn't that sweet"

You also had the habit of coming up to him randomly - at different points in the day - and inspecting his hands and tapping three times on his wrist (directly on where his pulse point would be) before leaving without a word

And bopping his nose

And sometimes knocking gently on his forehead

Also you like tracing shapes through his clothes on his back, arms and legs - making him guess the shapes and words you form with your nails

You also liked stealing his fans to use them for something random and/or weird - he once found you using them to cut fruit...

Once you baked a 10 tier cake and brought it in mid sermon with his followers with plates and water

Food was another thing that you made randomly, you baked and cooked new and weird things and brought in for him to try - as well as his followers....

When he sleeps in, it's always a 60/40 that you'll have done something to his hair - You like to fiddle with and decorate his hair and you have once perfectly styled his hair into a plaited mohawk

You've painted his nails - "Oh paint them pink next time love" He'd whined once into your neck "I want them to match the colour of your love~" + "Oh! Like the colour of my organs too?" followed by a blank stare from Douma/Doma

As you both where about to sleep you turned to him, perfect smile on your face and sleep hazing your eyes and said, "I wanna eat you! Just take a chunk cause your too perfect and beautiful for this world" before promptly falling asleep

He has found you trying to do cartwheels down the hall

You've always got something up your sleeve and it honestly brings Douma/Doma so much joy to live through each day, finding out what you had in store

.....you've made a finger puppet version of him before as well as a doll and you have used both as advisors - "And what do you think Wackus Bonkus?" "Kill him" "Oh! You Naughty Wackus Bonkus!"

[roguelov]

Hi dear, how have you been?

Here, just a little idea I wanted to share with someone:

the reader makes digital art and shares it on the internet; Recently the reader writes short stories/comics where she draws Morpheus as the god of Dreams alongside herself as an OC, as if they were a couple, etc.

The art is very beautiful and everyone loves it, and it goes viral, making Morpheus more famous among humans. So people start to dream more about him and pay tribute.

Maybe something cute, funny or spicy... Or all together.

(Sorry for the bad English, I love you.)

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I AM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS GOD I LOVE YOUR BRAIN SO MUCH

Dream will be very confused at first as to why he is getting more and more recognition. He starts to like it a bit. People are recognizing his work and all he does for the Waking, he can’t help but feel some pride and joy bubble in his chest. But, perhaps such feelings take a turn when he sees what seemed to be a version of himself and you in others’ dreams. Why? And why is there a romantic undertone to the two of you?

Maybe he doesn’t approach you on it for quite sometime. And so you gain more followers and more and more people fall in love with the story you’ve created. And finally at some point Dream does his own research. So in his vast library he finds your story: a wonderfully illustrated comic, along with short stories and pictures.

This man is stunned. It is such a beauty story, pulling in aspects from old tales while making it your own. It’s romance, it’s comedy, it’s tragedy, and it’s a slice of life. And it’s also a bit spice at times. But, he makes a point to stop looking when more steamy scenes happen. But now he had more questions, more questions for you. And when he finds you in a garden on a comfortable chair - made more for indoors - with a tablet in your lap as birds sang, he knew exactly what you are doing: drawing and writing about the two of you.

When he decides to be blunt and ask you about it, you are embarrassed, horrified, and stuttering through your words, “I am so - so sorry. I - I didn’t mean to offend you or anything - I just - I’ll stop and -“

“Why?” Dream asks. “You do not need to stop, I simply want to know why you do it.”

“I uh … why not?” What an idiotic response, but it’s the truth. “I mean it’s just fun to write and draw things about you, the Prince of Stories … you’re like my muse.”

Dream will be so touched by your words, but he does have another question. “And the courtship you have illustrated?”

“Oh uh,” you look away, “you know how people are, they love a love story.”

He doesn’t fully believe your answer. “When I have more time later today we can discuss it further. I do have more to say … especially pertaining to the relationship you depicted and if you are willing perhaps fiction can be turned into reality.”

You blink at his answer. He has this coy smile as he spoke but soon it turns genuine.

“Please, do not stop. I do love your story.”

You smile, “Oh uh thank you … and I would like to talk more about … us.”

Dream nods, satisfied with the answers he has gotten. However, before he leaves, he leans in close, “And do not think I have forgotten about some interesting pictures you have drawn … ones that are … more indulging of the flesh -“

You tense up, feeling your body heat up.

“- do know however our discussion ends later tonight, I will be open to be more than just a muse, perhaps a model if you so please.”

[sproutedlavender]

10 Things to Manifest

There are so many great things to manifest and it's easy to get overwhelmed or confused. Personally, I've found that sometimes I want to manifest so many things at once and I just DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START. I've realized this is a problem a lot of people have.

Don't let yourself get overwhelmed or bombarded by hundreds of different things to manifest. Start with a list. What do you want the absolute most? Start from there and create a list of the top 10 things you want to manifest.

Here's mine- Take what inspires you, leave what doesn't.

Happiness. I've found this is one of the best places to start when manifesting. If you have happiness within yourself, you find you don't need things outside. Funny enough, you actually tend to manifest more easily and effortlessly when you feel that you don't need anything. The universe is funny that way. Tell the universe you want to be happy. Make that intention. Feel it, the joy of just being alive. Let your desires rest for a little and once you cultivate joy within yourself, everything begins to fall into place. Joy=High vibrations=Manifestations=More joy 😊

Self love and beauty. When you love yourself for who you are and adore the way you look, you attract more confidence and beauty in your life. Try being grateful for your looks, even if they aren't 'perfect' in your eyes and you'll be surprised by how both your mindset and body changes. Manifesting beauty or anything else for that matter is simple, feel it, believe it, receive it!

Your Dream Career. What's the one thing you would do if you couldn't fail? See it in your mind. Visualize it and feel the emotions. Once you do, you've set the intention to live that life. What do you truly want to be? A writer? A singer? A doctor? Don't allow the fear of failing to stop you. Write down exactly what you want to do and who you want to become. If you have the passion for it, it's meant for you! You are the exception!

Best Friends. Image the people you wish to surround yourself with. How do they make you feel? Who are you when you're around them? What activities do you do together? You don't create people but you do attract them into your life. Visualize your desired friend group and feel as though you already have it in your life. Even if you're going out alone, feel as though you're with the people that make you feel great! Once you step into that vibrational state and hold it, it's only a matter of time before it appears in your life!

Money and Wealth. This can be quite easy, if you let it be. If you have struggles with money or if you have a negative belief about it, you may find it difficult to manifest it into you life, but no worries! You have the power to shift your mindset! Money is a tool, just like everything else, it's not good or bad. You decide what to do with it, and you deserve it. My favorite way of manifesting money is by writing checks. Write a check for the amount of money you would like to receive and keep it in your pocket every day and look at it constantly. I like to sign mine from the Universe, but you can write whatever feels good to you.

Adventure. Life feeling a little stagnant? Manifest more adventure into your life! What type of scenarios would you like to experience? Who would you like to experience them with? Write it down on a piece of paper and feel the excitement.

Good grades. School doesn't have to be a struggle. You can manifest good grades easily. Try taking your focus away from school for a bit, funny enough, when you stop placing so much importance of it, you might find yourself easily getting A's left and right.

Losing weight while eating whatever you want. There are hundreds of stories out there of people who have their desired bodies simply by believing they do. They imagine everything they eat is not only helping them to lose weight, but heal their bodies. I've heard of people who had literally healed cancer by simply believing that everything they ate was healing them. But you have to believe it! Feel it and believe it. you're mind is powerful. it can do pretty much anything.

Resolving problems. If you have a problem, don't focus on it. Instead, either focus on the solution and visualize it happening or forget about it all together. When you let go and trust the universe to resolve it for you, challenges begin to dissolve. I've had problems magically fixed over night because I affirmed to myself they were fixed. I don't even know how they happened! The universe is your greatest ally, use it wisely!

Pretty much anything else you intuitively want. A random desire pops up? Manifest it! Set the intention, give it momentum, let it go! You can even manifest your manifestations coming quicker if you'd like. Make sure whatever you're manifesting aligns with you. If something doesn't feel right, focus on something that does. Your inner self will guide you to the right path.

You are literally the universe. You are god, you are the power, you are everything you see around you. This reality is only a reflection of who you are? Don't like something? Change it! Want something? Manifest it! There are ZERO limitations. You are infinite, don't you forget it!

Love, Andie ❤️️

[nerdanel01]

No. 2 - Aostrolf's Weed (NSFW/18+)

“Is this okay?” she took the care to ask him, almost sweetly. Something a little self-conscious and worried in the look she gave him. “This is still okay?”

Maker. It’s better than okay. It’s a wanting more edged and hot than he has ever known, a pleasure so deep he might lose himself in it. It’s too good; it isn’t right at all. He knows that no matter what promises he has made, he is going to be imagining her like this for the rest of his life: beautiful thighs spread on either side of his hips, flush of arousal across her chest, pert breasts, his cock in her hand—ready, he can only assume, to ride him raw because he did not fuck her hard and fast enough the first time, as she had been asking him to. 

He is tongue-tied, too thick with need to answer with words. But his hands found her hips and guided her downwards, both of their groans echoing off the walls of the Necropolis as she sank around him, taking him fully inside of her in one slow, steady, deliberate press.

The pleasure is staggeringly total: his toes curl; his back arches off the floor; his hips drive up to meet hers. His eyes rolled back as his eyelids squeezed shut, his jaw slack, mouth open wide to let loose a groan that is nothing short of obscene, loud enough to echo through the vast hall of the Necropolis without. 

And that’s just the feel of her—but the sight of her, look! The tension in her thighs and her core as she lifts herself only to seat herself fully around him again; the messy curls of dark hair spilling over her shoulders and around her face and the curled patch of dark hair between her legs; the bounce of her breasts with each of her thrusts. Strange, how it still feels a move too bold to touch her—but she has no reservations about touching him. When Agnes caught him staring, she smiled, bit her lip, did not quite bite back her moan of satisfaction; lifted her free hand to hold his face, her fingers brushing his cheek so reverently, so gently—far more gently than the force with which she rode him. When her thumb swiped low along the curve of his chin, Emmrich opened his mouth and captured it, gently but firmly, between his teeth. 

[read full fic]

—

I’m really proud of all the writing I did this year! So for the last ten days of 2024 I’m going to be reblogging my 10 favorite pieces that I wrote.

I think this is the longest single smut one-off I've ever written?? It got so out of hand??? It inspired a whole spin-off series I had 0 intention of writing???? And compared to other pieces it was so easy to write— a real joy.

The fic owes a lot to two other sex pollen fics I'd HIGHLY recommend—firstly, a Solas x Trevelyan one, which is mind-numbingly good and (I think??) can still only be found on the Kink Meme/LJ. It's so good I spent over an hour and $22 trying to find it in all those comments again just to rec it here, and it was worth every minute and penny. I was for sure heavily influenced by the absolute crash from erotic to devastating at the end. Not gonna put the author on blast since it was filled anonymously but if they are seeing this: this is one of MULTIPLE of your works I still think about years later and I hope you are thriving. And SECONDLY, oh my god, @bdafic's Solavellan sexpollen fic, Aphrodisia. YES IT'S UNFINISHED, I DON'T CARE, GO READ IT ANYWAY. I am sometimes literally just doing things around my house like, walking my dog, or washing my dishes, and the reveal in this fic hits me over the head AGAIN and I have a little chuckle at Solas' expense thinking of him hiding his embarrassed, red face in his hands… and then I just stare into space like, wow. wow. Incredible. 13/10. I won't spoil it for you, but it's so hot, and so funny. Multiple outloud belly laughs reading it. Incredible Dorian and Varric banter at the top. And @bdafic's Ellana is one of my fave quizzies. I never would have put all that work into Aostrolf Van Markham if I hadn't been inspired by the absolutely insane world building this fic spoils the reader with. START YOUR 2025 OUT RIGHT! RUN DON'T WALK!!

[lixenn]

BUSTING INTO UR ASKBOX WHILE READING THRU DAVE'S PROFILE!! Lix!! Dave and Yui's bdays are one day apart sjvfhsvfsvf this coincidence is so funny 🤣🤣

Since he likes sunsets, I wonder if he likes the sea too? The sunsets are very beautiful when viewing it from the beach (asked by someone who just got back from a trip to the beach)

Because he has a lot of piercings, I wonder if he's interested in getting tattoo too?

Not a question, but reading this --- Dave simply turned up at Varia’s front door with a cheerful: “Heard you were hiring?” --- made me laugh, because I remember the snippet that you wrote about how Dan met Dave and it still makes me laugh a lot 😆😆 (PLUS !!! “I can use this guy to avoid talking to people!” DAN IS SO REAL FOR THIS!!! HE'S SO BASED UR HONOR!!)

Is there any latest hot boiling tea that Davey-boy can share with us in the class right now?

Mammon knows a lot about people huh. I wonder what Dave's relationship with Mammon is like? How does Dave interact with Mammon, knowing (if he knows) that Mammon knows background info that he hides?

Would he dye his hair as rainbow-colored for Pride Month---

EIN! BELOVED! Thank you for visiting my humble abode, always lovely to have you here 💕✨

I have managed to get this ready for Dave's birthday!

Happy birthday Davey-boy! Hope you and everyone else likes some more Dave info hehehehe

Sunset and sea

As someone whose life has been grey and dull for a long time, Dave adors colours in all shape or form, so yes he loves the sea, loves how it can glitter and reflect. The different shades of blue also appeal to him. Just colours my friend. It's a small joy for him but a joy nonetheless.

Tattoos

Is Dave interested in tattoos? Yes. Does he trust anyone enough to actually give him one? Not really. Dave has done most of his piercings by himself (which Davey-boy... no...) but tattooing himself is certainly more difficult then simply stabbing a sanitised needle through his ear. He loves the idea of body art though and he keeps drawing tattoo ideas on his paperwork (much to Chief's chargin).

Also since we are at the topic of tattoos, I'm just going to sneakily mention this for the people who aren't in the discord or haven't read my Chief/Squalo sparring snippet:

Chief has tattoos! And he actually has a lot of ink. All of it is nature based and all of it is hidden under his clothing, so at the moment in the Varia only Luss (who is his doctor) and Mammon (because Mammon knows all) know about the tats. Dave is in for a surprise when he finds out hehe. (Dave already thinks that Chief is super cool, but now he has tattoos??? No fair~ He will need to increase his mischief factor by one hundred to balance it out.)

Dan the introvert

Dan knows what's up lol. While Dani-boy can talk to people when necessary he tries to avoid it as much as possible because it sucks his energy like nothing else and he already doesn't have much energy to begin with. Also Dan might be quite observant but he sometimes doesn't get subtext and takes sometimes a bit to literal, which can lead to much frustration and hilarity. So he prefers leaving the people thing to Dave who's a social butterfly and thrives under attention.

Mammon and Dave

Dave doesn't like Mammon, at all. Honestly, it's more fear than dislike that's bothering him, because Dave knows how much power information can hold, it's one of his specialites after all. So while Dave is aware that Mammon won't reveal anything about his past unless someone goes looking for it and is willing to pay an obscene amount of money for the info, he still treats Mammon with a healthy dose of respect. He actually tries his best to avoid dealing with him and Mammon is one of the few people he tries not to prank directly.

Rainbow hair

Dave would definitely dye his hair rainbow coloured for pride month. He would burst into Luss' room on the first of June (probably when the clock rings midnight lol) and demand that his hair needs to be taken care of now.

The Tea

Now, the tea is the reason why answering this took so long, because dear Ein, once again, I have written a snippet! Rejoice! (Thanks so much to @unwrathful @childe-of-saulot for helping me brainstorm and also thanks to my dear buddy @myrmyrtheorca for solving my naming problems 🫡💕✨)

---

Dave kicks Vlasta's door open with cheerful aplomb. "Have you heard?!"

His friend doesn’t even have the decency to look up from cleaning their knives at his fabulous entrance. "You violating my privacy? Sure did."

"Like you even know the definition of that word. You were literally fucking someone in bright daylight yesterday."

"It's the principle of the matter, D." They finally put away their collection of all things sharp and pointy just to grace him with a simple blink. “Now, what’s the tea and where the hell are the snacks?”

A grin creeps on his face as he presents the chocolate covered strawberries he stole from the kitchen like they are a tribute to the gods. “I came prepared.”

The offering is scrutinized for a moment before Vlasta nods in acceptance. “You pass, but you are on thin ice.”

Dave fully skips into their domain and is greeted with the full force of the tantalizing scent of plum and cherry hiding the metallic taint of blood that has etched itself into the foundation of the walls ever since Vlasta claimed this room as their own. He places the strawberries on the nightstand next to the candles and bones, then bounces onto the four-poster bed that wouldn’t have been out of place in a film set of a dark historical drama which features witches, blood sacrifices and ritual sex. The dark red satin sheets flow smooth and cool over his skin, a stark contrast from the humid summer heat.

Dave hums lazily. “You always had great taste in decor. Less so with your partners though.”

His words are met with a pointed kick to the ribs. “Fucking- OW! What was that for?” He quickly scoots out of kicking range, rubbing the sore spot on his side. “This is abuse! Mistreatment! Bullying!”

“Talk shit, get shot,” Vlasta smirks, plucking a strawberry from the container. “Count yourself lucky that I put my knives away or this could have ended in a bloodbath.”

“But you like bloodbaths!”

“Not on my good bedsheets, idiot.” Vlasta plops the fruit into their mouth and moans in a way that would turn a porn star green with envy. “Now spill the tea before the day’s over. Chop chop.”

Dave brightens. “Okay, so I was staking out make out closet, as one does.” Vlasta nods along like this is a reasonable way to spend one’s free time. There’s a reason why they are best friends. “And guess who walked out of there?

Vlasta indulges his theatrics. “Who?”

“Sofia!”

“Sofia Nardi?” His friend tilts their head like a curious bird. “Douchbag’s girlfriend Sofia? That Sofia?“

“Yup! And she wasn’t alone.” Dave waggles his eyebrows suggestively. “Ollie followed soon after.”

Vlasta perks up, finally gifting him the entire weight of their attention and he basks in it. Yes, he always has the best gossip, thank you very much.

Another strawberry disappears between black tainted lips. “Sofia and ol’ Ollie. They fucked?“

“Oh, totally.”

“Huh,” a slow blink, followed by a sadistic smile, “good for her. Does the Douchebag know?“

“Nope,” Dave answers, popping the p for maximum obnoxious effect. “Completely in the dark”

The smile turns into a full-blown smirk. “Excellent.”

Dave‘s expression mimics the grin on his best friend’s face, vindictiveness filling him by proxy.  Sofia’s (ex?) boyfriend Alberico Ordelaffi commonly known as the Douchebag is what one could call a traditionalist. In short: he’s strictly religious, massively sexist and completely full of himself. The only time he stops sucking his own cock is when he’s bragging about his prestigious lineage or insulting your lack thereof. Vlasta with all their… Vlastaness is naturally offending Douchebag’s delicate sensibilities which results in a largely one-sided rivalry that involves a lot of holy water and failed exorcisms. So, any misfortune falling upon him needs to be fully savoured and sampled.

Speaking of savouring, Vlasta already decimated the strawberry offering during his retelling leaving nothing left for him which ... yeah, that tracks. But he still wanted a taste! His friend can be so stingy sometimes.

Well, there are other ways to be fed...

“Now,” Dave risks edging a tiny bit closer to them. “Since I delivered you both juicy strawberries and gossip, I deserve a reward, yes?”

Vlasta doesn’t even hesitate in shooting him down. “I’m not telling you what Chief and I discuss when we’re alone.”

“Oh c’mon! What more could you possibly want?”

The stare he is given runs shivers down his spine. Vlasta has a way of looking right into your soul, dissecting you with a simple gaze. People often fear them because of their appearance, their fondness of blood and flesh but Dave fears their ability to stand back and watch far more. They pick up the smallest of hints that let’s them solve humans like puzzles and the only reason why Dave ever let them close is because he can recognize his people, see the same cracks that plague him day in and day out. It doesn’t change the fact that he’d prefer not being perceived and now he gave them an opening.

“Well, my dear friend.” Their voice was raspy, a near seductive purr. “How about your name?”

Dave freezes. Nobody asks after his name. The scars are questioned more often than he could count. Same for his family and body count. But his name? Nobody bothers asking after names in the Varia. Not with how the organisation collects weirdos like the most fucked up circus. You might snoop behind somebody’s back, but you don’t talk about it in person. It just wasn’t done.

Leave it to Vlasta to not give a single fuck about etiquette and social norms.

Dave sighs. “I’d rather not.”

The predatory aura persists for one more second until his friend simply shrugs like they were asking after the weather rather than one of his close kept secrets. “Shame. Names hold a lot of power. But no name, no deal, Davey-boy. Them’s the rules.”

The mood brightens considerably at the nickname. Teasing and banter, he can do. Way better than digging up pieces of his past best left forgotten.

Time to turn the brattiness to the max.

“But I wanna knoooow.” Dave gives them his best rendition of a kicked puppy.  “How can you just hoard the Chief insider info? The inhumanity! The cruelty!” He adds crocodile tears for dramatic effect. “Share the goods, V. I need all the dets. Well actually, I need to study Chief under a microscope, but I will accept second hand knowledge for now.”

Unsurprisingly, Vlasta isn’t moved by his act in the slightest, in fact they don’t budge an inch. "Your obsession with our boss is fascinating. Have you considered fucking him to get it out of your system?”

He pouts: "I offered! Well, Luss and I offered but he refused."

"Skill issue."

"Oh fuck off, how often did he reject you? Five times? Six?" He leans into Vlasta’s personal space, leering and teasingly poking their cheek. “Losing your touch V?”

“You’re about to lose a finger if you don’t remove it from my person, dickhead.” Their eyes gleam red and Dave immediately backs off.

Fuck. Pushed too much.

Touch and Vlasta can be ... tricky at times. Initiating contact always involves some risk. It's like a gamble where the odds change at a whim and clearly Dave lost this time around.

He scrambles off the bed, holding his hands up in surrender. He tries for a smile but it came out as an awkward grimace instead. "Sorry 'bout that."

The red in their eyes dims but doesn't disappear. Vlasta nods, accepting the apology but not stating forgiveness.

Yeah, this calls for a strategic retreat.

He tiptoes closer and closer to the door. "I'll see you around?" The confidence leaves him at the last minute turning his statement into a question.

Vlasta licks off the chocolate on one of their fingers, steadily holding eye contact because they are a fucking weirdo. "Until next time."

Oh, thank god. Friendship saved.

---

Ngl not totally satisfied with the ending but it will do >.< this got so long and surprisingly deep but I like how it protrays Dave's and Vlasta's realtionship.

[hlficlibrary]

HL FIC LIBRARY ✤ AUTHOR REC

AO3: LiveLaughLoveLarry

Tumblr: @loveislarryislove

STATS:

✤ Number of fics: 88

✤ Posting Since: 2014

TOP 5 FICS:

1️⃣ You Took My Heart By Surprise {T, 39k}

There is reason to believe Prince Harry’s life is in danger. After a failed kidnapping attempt, Louis is assigned to guard Harry around the clock. He is the best at what he does, but he has a tendency to not get along with clients. Louis and Harry start off on the wrong foot, but it soon becomes clear that neither is at all what the other expected.

Queen Anne met Louis’ eyes. “While your file documents many remarkable accomplishments, it also contains a number of early terminations. Why is that?”

“It all depends on what your priorities are,” he said slowly. “If your primary concern is protection, I’m your guy. If you’re looking for someone polite…” He shrugged. “I don’t generally try to be rude, but social graces aren’t what I’m being paid for. If someone values being sucked up to over being protected, that’s their problem.”

“You seem quite well-mannered,” Anne said, frowning.

Both Nick and Louis snorted at that. “You’ve only known me for ten minutes,” Louis said. “Give it time.”

2️⃣ Though the Seasons Change So Quickly (Keep Them Buried In My Heart) {G, 6k}

A series of moments of Harry and Louis' relationship through the years, from the very beginning to the present, through the perspective of those around them. It's beautiful and it's brutal, it's awe-inspiring and it's awful - it is what it is.

"He’s special, Gem," Harry says. "He’s different. Different from anyone else I’ve ever known. I think-”

Gemma holds up a hand. “Slow down, buddy,” she says. “You’ve only known him a few months.”

“I know,” Harry says again, his fingers tugging at the designs embroidered in the blanket. “But it’s still true.”

Gemma studies him for a long moment. It’s interesting, she thinks. She’s never seen him like this -– not really. He’s almost glowing, a smile constantly either present or hiding just below the surface, and while it could just be the band as a whole making him so happy, she somehow doesn’t think so.

3️⃣ Funny How The Stars Crossed Right {NR, 17k}

Liam and Louis round the corner to see a horse trotting around the ring. She (or maybe he) is a beautiful animal, with a dark black coat and white socks. A tall man in riding clothes sits atop the horse, speaking softly. He’s completely focused on the horse, and doesn’t notice their entrance at all. Dark brown curls spill out from beneath his helmet, and his expression is one of total joy.

“Who’s that?” Louis asks, finding himself oddly breathless.

“That’s Chester,” Liam says. “He’s an angel.”

Louis is about to comment that he looks like an angel, but then pauses. “The human or the horse?”

Louis is a photography student, assigned to do a project at Greenfield Stables. Harry is a veterinary student, working part-time at Greenfield to gain experience and make a little money. They both have something to teach the other.

4️⃣ Might've Took The Long Way {M, 21k}

It's been two years since Harry and Louis broke up. They were that couple in high school -- you know the one; been together forever, hopelessly in love, all over each other, the whole nine yards. Even when Louis went off to university, they found a way to make the distance work.

Until they broke up.

Now Harry is back in town, and no matter how many times Louis tells himself they can't be together, they keep falling right back into each other.

“They got a name?” Bebe asks.

“What?”

“Your ghosts,” she says, her voice suddenly soft. “If you want to tell me, I mean. I know I said I wouldn’t ask, but. Sometimes it can help to exorcise them.” She pauses, and chuckles. “Other times, vodka works better than sage.”

Louis holds his breath for a moment, building the courage, before he finally murmurs, “Harry.”

“Sorry?”

“Harry,” Louis says again. The name feels like a time bomb in his mouth, but it hasn’t blown up yet. “His name was -- is -- Harry.”

5️⃣ The Things You Hide {NR, 27k}

Louis has been an MI6 agent for four years. Now he wants out. Unfortunately, his superiors have other ideas. Their solution: a 'mission' in the Greek Islands, one that's more vacation than actual work. Harry is an avid photographer who shows him around the area. He's open and carefree and everything that Louis wishes he could be. Along the way they fall in love, and maybe Louis learns a little about love, a little about lies, and a whole lot the meaning of home.

HIDDEN GEM:

💎 what's left of my halo's black {E, 22k}

As Harry sucks lovebites into Louis’ neck, Louis hopes that one day those marks will cover the way he can still feel Alex’s handprints burned into his flesh.

As Harry’s nails drag scratches along Louis’ back, Louis hopes that one day the scabs on his heart will heal and drop away just like the scabs on his skin.

As Harry fucks him down into the mattress, the bed shaking with every thrust, Louis hopes that one day his mouth will forget the shape of Alex’s name, won’t trace it over and over as the heat builds inside him, won’t want to scream it when he comes. Maybe one day he’ll open his eyes, as he slowly floats down from his post-orgasm haze, and won’t expect to see Alex’s face smiling back at him.

But today is not that day.

A year after a devastating breakup, Louis is still trying to put himself back together - but getting over a breakup is hard when you work as a wedding planner. Thankfully, his coworker Harry is the most supportive friend Louis could ask for. But Harry has some secrets of his own, and they send Louis' world spinning off its axis all over again.

[sweetnnaivete]

I want your Mary MacDonald thoughts pleaseeeeeeee!! <333

YAAAY !! i see mary as a very outwardly confident person who makes sure that when she enters a room all eyes are on her. she finds that being perceived as this hot but sometimes ditzy girl only boosts her popularity status, and that's what she relies on at school, seeing as she can't rely on being a white pureblood like marlene or sirius, or being the smartest in her year, like lily. if everyone is envious of her beauty and how she holds herself, she doesn't have to worry as much about other things.

the issue is she's actually very insecure. she acts as though she can do no wrong, but in reality she can't help but compare herself to intelligent lily or sporty marlene or funny emmeline. yes, being popular and pretty saved her from being bullied, but it also reduced her to that one dimensional, cookie cutter persona. i think initially she competes a lot with her friends, trying to both one up them and gain their approval, but lily and marlene truly do love her, and they tell her, and that definitely makes her feel better. she stops competing and focuses more on self improvement, which eventually is quite beneficial to her mental state.

around fourth or fifth year she starts going out with sirius, not to boost her status like many of her other flings were for, but because she really likes him, and thinks he could come to like her, too. and sirius does love her, but not in the same way. he is a source of great comfort and happiness to her while they're together, but at the end of fifth year she realizes he's been pining over remus this whole time. she breaks up with him and pretty much wingmans wolfstar, but she's heartbroken too.

while she was dating sirius, she definitely became the it girl of hogwarts. everyone either wanted to be her or be with her. but this meant she had to face a lot of sexualization, slutshaming, and generally cruel comments, too, and that affected her mental health. sixth and seventh year she worked more on her studies than anything else, and managed to graduate with very high grades, unlike previous years where she'd just been average.

in the order i think she brought a certain light and joy to everyone. she loved to pack meals for her friends on their missions and make jokes to lighten the mood. i honestly don't know exactly what the order did during the first war, but i can imagine her going out on missions to help protect muggle villages or obliviate people (foreshadowing !!).

as we all know, she obliviated herself when all her friends had either died or been imprisoned. i don't tend to think about what happened afterwards, because i think she would've found herself a nice, quiet life far away, perhaps in spain or australia or something! if she stayed in the uk she definitely would've been faced with too many weird nostalgic / deja vu moments that she simply wouldn't understand, so i think she would have made sure she was far away before actually starting her new life.

[lawlietscaramels]

It looks like asks are turned on! Can I request writing or, like, headcanons about how the death note characters laugh? I mean obvs there’s Kira’s silly evil laugh but what about pre-Kira light and L?

-🎲

Laugh a Little Louder ╾ Cast

AAA so asks here work!! yes. yesyeysyeye though the Wammy's kids may be ooc. See my various chats and notes for reason why but without further ado, here come the laughs!

　★━━─・‥…━━━☆

L Lawliet 🍰

first off, he doesn't laugh very often.

memes? nothing. jokes? nothing. sarcasm? nothing. This doesn't mean he doesn't find any of these funny, he just doesn't have the urge to actually laugh.

but Light falling down the Task Force stairs? YES.

L finds other things funny too but there's just... something special about watching Light mess up...

if he's around people he trusts he's likely to laugh more, at super not funny things especially. for example, bad puns, horribly edited memes or videos, and dark jokes are high on the list. (I may or may not also find these things very funny)

anyway that got into when he laughs. as for HOW he laughs: it varies depending on how funny something is.

Mildly amusing? Dry chuckle. almost sounds like a cough or the engine of a car if that makes sense. sometimes he will say (with no change in tone whatsoever), "haha. that was quite amusing."

Hilarious? the man is cackling and wheezing.

high pitched, like a hyena...

Light Yagami 🖊️

you guys might hate me but

Light is a GIGGLER!!!

this kind of embarrasses him so he can usually make it sound more like a chuckle, this is also how he does fake-laughs when he's Kira and wants to hide the crazy-laughs.

I think he'd find animals and cute stuff worth a little laugh just because it's amusing and they bring joy to his life

that said I think Kira version of Light wouldn't laugh as much. He's under a lot of stress, he doesn't see the joy in life any more. Light is just there to fulfil his mission, to cleanse the world of evil, and he's so dedicated to this cause that he doesn't find time to appreciate the good that already exists in this world

damn that got sad for a post about laughter

uhhh anyway other people laughing inevitably sets Light off too, even as Kira he struggles not to laugh when L or Matsuda does. Misa's laughs, not so much of a problem. They just concern him...

Misa Amane 💝

hold on this is kind of hard actually...

you know what, I think she'd make other noises instead of actual "laughs."

such as squeaking, squawking, honking, all those funny words used to describe people who laugh but don't really laugh. shakes her head and sighs a lot at dad jokes but she secretly loooves them.

if she actually laughs it will be hahahahahhahaa-gasp-hahahhahahaha where it gradually gets higher pitched and the sound stops and she's just breathing in a squeaky manner. Misa will also start waving her body and arms back and forth like she's going to hit her knees, but only hits air.

sounds a little like she's dying tbh

Misa used to be embarrassed about her laugh when she was little, but she grew to learn it just means she's happy! so she likes it

though she would never laugh if she's livestreaming or anything like that, like Light she'd have a fake laugh (a typical girly giggle) for such occasions.

Touta Matsuda 🦆

this guy is like so normal help hahjajjajjasjsj

I think he would often like scream and then laugh (especially on roller coasters, watching horror movies, being jump-scared, all that)

wheezes a little, goes "oh God- oh God- no no stop-"

his stomach starts to hurt because if Matsu starts laughing he just like. does not stop. he goes into hysterics.

would end up rolling on the floor and struggling to breathe

"Matsuda it was just a bad bee pun, are you alright?" because he'd suddenly be set off by one silly thing like that and just be chuckling and laughing and all for the next few hours. and expect it to start again if someone makes the mistake of saying "bees" in the next few days

Okay but his mouth would go all squiggly like Charlie Brown's when he's trying to hold in a laugh.

shoving his bright red face into a pillow and trying not to scream in laughter, literally this man is DYING at every lame joke. he loves really long jokes too.

this guy is not actually so normal after all...

Near 🧸

like L, he does not laugh very often

unlike L, this statement is ONLY true for when he's in the company of others. when alone I think Near does a fair bit of laughing, though it's quiet

it's just the kind of vulnerability and genuine enjoyment that he only feels safe to express when he's alone...

anyway Near's laugh is a little rough like he's not used to doing it. he might chuckle for a while, or just let out a quick and sharp "HA!" if he's more startled into laughter. the first one is more private, the second he might let out a couple of times in company

I think Near would also lie in bed at night and just laugh at the ceiling. maybe especially if he's had a bad day. it makes him feel a little better and reminds him that there are good things in the world! Because when Near laughs he remembers the other things that have made him laugh

it's a sign he likes and trusts someone if he laughs with them

Near can also mimic lots of different kinds of laughs. I feel like he's a storyteller, even if he only tells the stories to himself, so this skill can come in very useful!

Mello 🍫

HE HAS AN EVIL VILLAIN LAUGH

less disturbing than Light's Kira laugh BUT IT'S STILL KIND OF SCARY IF YOU'VE NEVER HEARD IT BEFORE

but most people are quick to realise he's just laughing. laughing a little like a crazy person but it's easy to tell, if you take the time to observe, that he's just genuinely enjoying himself

Matt ALWAYS knows what to say to make Mello laugh

(Mello tries not to laugh at Matt though, mostly because he's a little ass who doesn't want to give him the satisfaction)

Actually, his laugh is kind of sweet to listen to in a way??

I don't know how to explain that and the villain-laugh headcanon fitting together but they do, just trust me. it may sound evil but it is super sweet

hahaha he thinks he's a badass his laugh sounds like he's a badass but somehow it's not badass at all.

The opposite of Near, he's more likely to laugh around others.

I think his favourite thing to laugh at is really bad movies. Just making fun of them, ridiculing the plot, and though some people thinks he sucks the fun out of it he finds it enjoyable

Matt 🚬

laughs often, doesn't GENUINELY laugh often.

he's a smoker right? well, I think that makes it clear that he's got a smoker's kind of laugh. he might end up coughing if he laughs too long

don't smoke kids

Matt's always had more of a throaty laugh though, he's a low chuckle kind of guy. unless he's tired or REALLY amused, in which case he'll cackle.

When typing he does a keyboard smash laugh: AJHSHAHAJAJA

I think he laughs at himself often. Matt in particular I haven't seen his dn appearances in years but I think he's a pretty chill guy most of the time, happy to give a laugh if someone insults his fashion taste.

not a headcanon but I wonder if a PC emoji would fit better...

Loves to make other people laugh too!! will lighten the mood or turn a chuckle into an uproar with a few really good bad jokes or a funny assortment of actions or impressions

He pokes fun at everyone and everything because when you take life too seriously, you don't enjoy it.

　★━━─・‥…━━━☆

𝖎𝖋 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊𝖉 𝖎𝖙 ˏˋ⋆˖⁺˖⁀➷ 𝖕𝖑𝖊𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖗𝖊𝖇𝖑𝖔𝖌 + 𝖋𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖔𝖜

[rrezshifts]

🌼 🌺 & 🪷 for the pretty flowers ask game!!

the pretty flowers ask game with my young avengers reality… again

🌼 ⊹ ࣪ ˖ beautiful blossom ↠ what do you find most beautiful about your significant other(s)? what about that aspect of them is so beautiful to you? and in turn what do they believe the most beautiful thing about you is? why do they think that way?

i find so much beautiful about tommy. too much. his physical appearance is something to behold. his natural white hair, and how it’s not just on his head and face but his arms and his legs and his stomach. and how the pale white contrasts with his skin that is slightly tanned. his legs! oh my god his legs, they’re not necessarily thick and muscular, but they’re not small, and the hair that scatters them drives me wild. i love his fluffy hair, and i love to run my fingers through it, it so soft and rarely tangles. his arms, lean and a bit muscular, i love when they wrap around me. and the tension a hug from him can relieve. i adore his hands and his fingers and how they hold me and touches the parts he loves. and i adoooreee his smile! but there’s also things beyond that i love his personality, and how much joy he brings to my life. he’s a very joyful person who has so much love in him. he cares for so much, and i can see that care everyday. he’s such a beautiful person.

he would probably say my face is the most beautiful thing about me to him. he would also share that everything about me is beautiful but his favorite is my face. not like as a whole, i have a pretty face, thing. but like he loves my eyes, because they hold so much emotion. he loves my mouth and all the love it gives to him in many different ways. he loves my nose and the way it feels, including the feeling of my breath, against his neck when i hold him. there’s just a lot for him to appreciate in one area for him.

🌺 ⊹ ࣪ ˖ helpful hibiscus ↠ how do you and your significant other(s) personalities react to each other? are there times where you bump heads about stupid stuff? or do you and your significant other(s) seem to blend together?

the first thing i’d like to point out is our personality types, it’s funny bc i’m an ISFP, and he’s an ESFP. we have a lot of similarities which can be good and also bad. we’re both conflict averse, so sometimes we go without communicating when we should. we’ve been learning to get better at that for sure, due to the fact communication is something we could benefit from in our relationship. on the other hand we’re both sensitive people, which is good for us. we’ve become good at helping each other out with our emotions in a healthy way. when it comes to differences in our personalities, he can be more spontaneous than me, jumping into things with less planning than i would like. i can do spontaneity, and i like it, but often only with less complex and important things. but like… trips? no. when it comes to our differences that can benefit us, he’s more outgoing than i am, truly the life of the party. and he brings me out of my shell quite a bit. but he does so while being aware of my needs and limits, which i appreciate very much. we’ve also both got ADHD, so we’re fun and annoying together.

🪷 ⊹ ࣪ ˖ lovely lotus ↠ do you and your significant other(s) do any "cheesy" stuff? like having matching pajamas, matching halloween costumes, and picnic dates? or building the flower legos, cooking together, baking together?

all the damn time! our number one hobby is watching movies or shows in his room and just cuddling. so after we started dating, i ending up gifting him matching sweatpants for the both of us (which he loved). but we spend a lot of time in his room, we do activities on the bed or on the floor, stuff like legos, sure. but tommy loves trying new art mediums, and he wants me to try them too. so i’ll come over one day, walk into his room, and it’s covered in tarps with him smiling wide, covered in paint or chalk or pastels and motioning for me to come join him. and he’s not careful much either, so he has ruined his carpet on many occasions (as have i). now the carpet is hardwood because of that, i just came into his room one day and the carpet was gone. anyway.. we have also baked and decorated the the treats like both acts were another art form. he truly loves being creative, and it’s so fun for me to watch his mind work a mile a minute to create something or to fix a mistake. we go on dates often too, share our shakes with each other, feed each other food. and anything he can do in public to communicate to others that he’s mine and i’m his, he will. not to mention he just enjoys doing things with me, and if i don’t enjoy said thing, we’re both more than happy to have some parallel play time. oh! he also plays the guitar. he enjoys playing it softly when i sing, which i think is cheesy.

[idyllic-affections]

a letter from aphelion. ♡

a letter to all the people who have made my year in one way or another. there is no particular order to this post, and some of you may find that i don't have much to say, but all of you who are on this post are here because i can recall times i've enjoyed speaking to you or seeing you in my notifs or just existing within the same space as you. i hope you all have only the best year possible next year—it seems like most of us need and deserve a good year, hm? though i regard myself as quite a gentle and sentimental soul, i struggle with putting it into words. it's ironic, considering i am a writer. i mention this because even if the things i say in this post are quite silly and lighthearted, just know that i earnestly mean what i say and each and every one of you has contributed to my year in a memorable way <3 may we all have a good 2024.

       dear @lillonvia,

YOU!!!! YOU!!!!! HELLO. HI. MEETING YOU HAS BEEN SUCH AN HONOR AND SUCH A DELIGHTFUL PART OF MY YEAR!!! i love the little silly conversations we often have—i think it's probably a good thing that we share so many random fandoms. it's as if we lived somewhat similar lives growing up despite growing up in such vastly different environments <3 but anyway, i think the fandoms we share are really helpful in being able to have such fun conversations!! we have many things to talk about!!! despite the vast difference in timezones!!!! please go to sleep at normal hours!!!!!!! /lh

       dear @starryshinyskies,

HI AVERY <3 i was literally always so delighted to see you in my inbox back when you were still ⭐️ anon, and i still feel that kind of joy now! you have so many good and fun thoughts to share with me about things i've written and i love that... i hope moral injury ch. 2 will give you that same kind of brainrot again when it does finally come out!!!! if it doesn't that's okay too HAHA but i always love hearing your thoughts on... literally anything ever!! i have some fics of yours that i've been meaning to reblog btw, so maybe watch out for multiple essays in your notifications in the coming weeks LMAO

       dear @aroacenezha,

MAJI I AM SQUISHING YOU LOVINGLY IN MY HANDS or i can just look at you fondly if you don't want to be squished. i am okay with that too <3 i often think about how we met and i think it's both kind of funny and kind of nice. "baizhu would hate dottore" agreed so real so true that post was so correct in so many ways RAAHHH 🤝 the nice part of the way we met being my baizhu series. despite me having NOT updated it any time recently, has brought a lot of people into my inbox and sometimes into my life and i think it's very cool. i love when people feel seen. and furthermore please always send me your oc thoughts and your blorbo thoughts i love them so much 🙏🙏🙏

       dear @soleillunne,

ALYYY MY LOVE MY BELOVED you are so precious and treasured.... i love what you do, i think your writing is beautiful and has such a poetic quality to it. and i love when you appear in my inbox and notifs!!!! though tumblr is very mean to you and always eats your asks.... you are important to me and so many other people and i hope you always know that. genuinely. you are such a kind and wonderful person and you are always loved.

       dear @heiayen,

YOU. *GRABS YOU* *EVILLY* you. you are so. idk but YOU ARE. can't think of a good word. no words, only vibes. you are vibe-y. /lh you're another moot that has the most top tier responses to things, even non-fanfic posts. you just have Things To Say, and in the best way possible. your thoughts are so fun..... i interact with you rather often—more than some people realize, perhaps—and you are a dearly beloved presence in my life 🫶🫶

       dear @zeldadou,

though we haven't talked too much recently, i still think of you often! i love seeing your art and the way it changes and develops... and i love hearimg your thoughts about things or when you send me fun things you think i would like <33 you are a very kind person in my eyes, whether you realize it or not.

       dear @june-again,

i hope life treats you well, always. you don't deserve anything less. i think of you fondly! your kindness is and was very remarkable and treasured especially when i was first adjusting to tumblr and posting my fics and whatnot..... by the time we met, i was still very new, so i appreciated any kind interactions (i still do of course! it's just a bit different when you're new to a website like this haha)!!

       dear @kaixserzz,

I FUCK WITH YOUR THOUGHTS DUDE YOU SEEM TO COME INTO MY INBOX AT THE MOST RANDOM AND UNEXPECTED OF TIMES AND DROP THE MOST HEARTBREAKING ANGST POSSIBLE??????? HELLO?????????? ARE YOU. DOING OKAY??!???!!!! YOU WAKE UP AND CHOOSE VIOLENCE. ESPECIALLY WITH KAVEH. WTF (me too tbh 😇) /lh please always send me any platonic thoughts you have i will entertain all of them fr 💥💥💥 you have such good thoughts in that brain of yours 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

       dear @archonsbane,

i haven't spoken to you much, so forgive me if this seems or comes off as a sudden or jarring tag, but i do enjoy talking to you. fatui moot <3 you GET IT get it about the harbingers' dynamics. i hope we have more opportunities to speak sometime! (and if that sentiment isn't shared, that is totally fine. i would respect it either way 🫶)

       dear @lesanyanyas,

we only became mutuals recently, but i hope you know that i always thought of you as one of the "blorbo from my notes" kinds of people haha!!! i always saw and recognized you whenever you were in my notifications or my inbox and you always have such delightful and fun things to say <33

       dear @umgatochamadopercyval,

CLARA HIII you are such a remarkable person, you know? you've been nothing but kind and understanding, and you have such fun thoughts and ideas!! i love hearing about them sm. even if my responses are delayed, just know that you are always welcome to ramble in my dms about your ocs or your fic ideas and i will never find it to be annoying or anything. it isn't annoying. it never is.

                                                 sincerely,                                                                           aphelion.

there are people who did not make this list, and to those people, i hope we can become closer in 2024! if you aren't on here, it's truly only because i've hardly spoken to you. so... perhaps that is something we can do next year! i think of all my mutuals very fondly. i don't think of any of you as "less than" just because we haven't spoken mwah mwah <3

[no-phrogs-in-hats]

If I Could Turn Back Time

Larissa Weems x fem!reader

Warnings: SMUT (Larissa receiving)

Chapter 14 (!!!)

In the morning, I wake before Larissa. After almost twenty minutes of watching her breathe quietly and admiring all of the “flaws” that her skin has–these were perfections in my eyes–I got out of bed and dressed before going to the kitchen.

I set a kettle of water on the stove to boil, preparing breakfast for the both of us–the eggs scrambled, the bacon cooked, the pancakes flipped. Half way through, and tired and groggy Larissa shuffled into the room. 

“Good morning,” she crumbled, wrapping her arms around my waist and resting her chin on top of my head.

I smiled, “Morning. There's some boiling water over there if you’d like tea.”

“Oh, is it ‘cause I’m English?” she teased. Larissa leaned down to give me a peck on the cheek. “Thank you, darling.”

Making herself a cup of tea, she decided to bring up the previous night. “I swear, you’re a carbon copy of her,” Larissa chuckled, playing with the string of the teabag. “I was actually quite surprised. I thought I was seeing double.”

I smiled, a bittersweet feeling making my heart flutter as I remembered the years that the only way I’d be compared to my mother was by looks. “It’s funny, actually. We’re so similar in mannerisms and looks that my father sometimes jokes that I’m not even his.”

“Your mother,” Larissa said. “Is she an Outcast?”

As I plated our eggs, I answered her question. “Yeah. It’s actually really cool. She can create matter out of almost nothing–living or inanimate.”

“Is that why she chose to become a physicist?” Larissa asked before sipping her tea. I looked at her, confused, before it came to me. But, I didn’t need to say anything, because she answered for me. “I overheard the argument…I’m sorry. How are you doing?”

“I’m…Alright,” I responded, and removed the bacon and pancakes from the stove. “It wasn’t the first major argument we’ve had.”

We decided to drop the subject as we ate, and instead, Larissa brought up today’s parents’ weekend activities. “I was thinking you and I could participate in the four-or-three-legged race.”

I giggled. “Isn’t that for the parents and students? Maybe, instead, we could do it with students whose parents didn’t show up. It’s going on until five when dinner starts.”

Larissa was smiling ear to ear as she took my hand and squeezed it. “I think that is a wonderful idea.” 

At eleven, just before lunch, Larissa and I tied ourselves to a student’s legs, Larissa on her right, and me on her left. The sound of her giggles brought joy to my heart–to know we impacted this girl’s life with something as simple as doing a silly race with her. After finishing the race (certainly not in first place after struggling with our uneven height and stride distribution) Larissa and I went on to the next student to participate in the water balloon toss. 

The feeling to know you have the ability to have such an impact on a single life is something you can’t describe. This is why I began teaching. To make learning more interesting. To care for these kids when their parents aren’t able to. My mother has always been disappointed in my career path, and every time she sees me, she makes it known. But, when I walk into my classroom, and I see the students’ faces light up, I know I’ve chosen correctly. I refuse to believe that I’d be happy anywhere else.

When twelve-thirty came, Larissa and I sat at a picnic table with other students. When she left, on a quest to find someone inside, the students and I were thrown into an animated conversation about the use of the Oxford comma. My attention was drawn by the sheriff and three officers behind him.

“Can I ask what the problem is, Sheriff?” Larissa came back outside, all formalities present in her tall stature.

Sheriff Galpin completely ignored Larissa, instead, going straight to his target. “Gomez Addams!” he called. “You’re under arrest for the murder of Garret Gates.” As he read off Gomez’s Miranda rights, murmurs filled the Quad. I looked at the three others, all standing frozen.

Larissa, who stood in one spot, clearly annoyed, looked at me. I could see it in her eyes and her stark, pale face–something plagued her mind about this situation. 

That night, I chose to stay with Larissa in her quarters. I laid there, looking up at her as she quietly read her book, and she giggled. “You’ve been staring at me for a while.”

“I can’t help it,” I grinned. I trailed my finger up and down, lightly tracing the soft skin of her exposed thigh. “You know…” I sat up and straddled her lap, taking her book from her hands and setting it down on the nightstand. “I still haven’t had the opportunity to pay you back for the other night.”

As I sit there, I admire each one of her features. My thumb runs along her lower lip and I move from there to her jaw, stroking her cheek and leaning down to kiss her softly. She smiles and pulls away. “I’m not sure I know what you mean.” 

Larissa kisses me again and after wrapping her arms around me, she flips us over so that I’m back on the bed. I squeal and giggle as she places kisses all over my face–the purest form of serotonin and dopamine I could receive at that point. Hooking my legs around her waist, I flipped us over again. “I told you…It’s my turn.”

My hands ran up and down her body, going under her slip. I hesitated and looked at her, “Can I take this off?” When Larissa gave me a frantic nod followed by a ‘yes’, I smiled and pulled it over her head and followed with her underwear.

She gasped at the feeling of my lips skimming over her bare skin. I kissed down her neck and chest, lips wrapping around her nipple and my hand palming her other breast. Her fingers raked through my hair as her breathing grew heavier and mumbles of curses fell from her lips. “That’s it, darling…just like that…mmm, good girl.”

Christ, the things this woman does to me. 

My lips continued further down and each press of a kiss brought her more goosebumps. “Are you enjoying yourself?” I muttered. 

Larissa opened her eyes and looked down at me. “God, yes,” she huffed, and my hands gripped her thighs tightly.

When they slid up to the apex, my grip softened and pushed them further apart, and without warning, my tongue licked a stripe up her slit, lips wrapping around her clit and sucking hard. Her breath caught in her throat and she let a whimper escape. 

I continued this for some time as her hips bucked, trying desperately to get more, and I gave her what she wanted by slipping my fingers into her entrance. She let out the first moan I had ever heard from her and, my god, my heart almost beat out my chest. 

Larissa uttered my name, her hand removing itself from my hair and moving to grab my own. She held it tightly as she finished and looked down at me to see me lick my fingers clean. She let out an airy laugh as I climbed on top of her. 

“I quite liked that,” she snickered, kissing me on the lips. 

Laughing, I cupped her cheeks and pressed a firmer kiss to her lips. “I quite liked it too.”

After taking my own night clothes off, I curled up in Larissa’s arms, relishing in the warmth. We didn't speak for some time, but then, she spoke up. “Why don’t you move here?”

“What?”

“You can bring your cat,” she said. “He can be the school mascot.” I giggled and sat up, leaning on my elbow. “It sounds tempting, I won’t lie.”

Larissa kissed me again. “Give into the temptation, darling,” she whispered, and pulled me close again. 

When her hands started to grasp at my bare skin, things became heated once again and I broke away for air. “I might have to give into it after all.” Climbing on top of me, she let her fingers toy with the hem of my underwear. Her voice was low and breathy, and a sinful amount of seduction dripped from her tongue. “That’s it…give into it. Give into all of it. Be my good girl and surrender everything to me…”

[herunswithscissors]

Friends of ours lost their 22yo son to suicide recently. He was struggling, but kept the depth of it hidden. There are no words of comfort to give, only grieving alongside those who have lost one that they love.

A good friend pointed out that in the midst of this weeping, while it does not diminish the grief, perhaps something good might come out in that those who are similarly struggling with thoughts of suicide might get some perspective that their lives matter beyond the tiny world mental illness traps you in. Your life matters and is worth living.

Our brains are a precariously balanced mix of meat, electricity, and chemicals. Sometimes because of our experiences and/or biology our brains begin to lie to us. It withholds joy and pleasure. "It’s like trying to laugh at a joke that isn’t funny. Trying to smile for a photo you don’t want to be in. It’s like waking up in the morning and hating that you actually woke up. It feels like someone is just draining the energy out of you all the time, every moment you are awake." Doing anything requires immense willpower. Just plain old staying alive becomes a conscious choice made over and over again. You are just so tired and everything is just too much to deal with. The constant state of suffering leads one to try various ways to feel something positive, feel anything, or just escape the emptiness. It's why depressed people try so hard to bring joy to others and help others- they want to prevent others from suffering too and it allows them to feel some happiness vicariously.

The inevitable diminishing returns on the attempts to feel better, feel anything, or just escape eventually lead to the conclusion that there is only one way out of this hell. And depression shrinks our awareness of our own meaningfulness and inner world. The void is all we can perceive. The knowledge that we are loved, cared for, or important is lost. We can sincerely believe that our loss will not so drastically affect our loved ones and escape through death is a viable option.

These are all false of course. Falsehoods our sick brain tells us with honesty, because suicide is quite reasonable given what we are perceiving.

If you are feeling like you don't want to be here, wishing you would not wake up, desiring an accident, imagining about killing yourself, drugging yourself into oblivion, or seriously thinking about if or how you might kill yourself, you need to talk to someone. I got lucky. Someone who loves me more than I love myself saw me spiraling into self-destruction and made me get help and continues to support me in spite of myself. I spent years where my full-time job was not research or teaching, but just keeping myself alive. It's still my job now and then. But the difference now is that after many years of therapy and prescriptions I know that feeling is temporary and false.

I'm sorry it hurts so much right now. When you have some distance from these feelings (I hope that you will give yourself the chance to), I hope you can see that your life is worthwhile and important because you are.

But the only way out is through and that requires talking. I hope you have people nearby who love you you can talk to. If you do, talk to them. If you don't, this will be harder. Either way, you should also get into counseling. A good counselor will help you find ways to survive, build better mental pathways, & develop tools for processing emotions.

Brutal honesty- American mental health treatment system is shit and difficult to navigate. We have far too few professionals in many areas and online is often the only option. But you are a fighter. Look at you all alive and shit when depression has been trying to kill you 24-7. Live a little bit longer. You can do it. And if you are going to live a little bit longer, counseling can help you live it a little bit better.

[peachymess]

I followed your blog for 5+ years, way back when aot was the big thing. It served me as comfort specially because you always wrote so well and felt deeply for armin, just like so many of us. You also opened up about so many of your personal struggles, many of them similar to mine, that your blog ended up feeling like home.

Eventually years passed, I've been on and off tumblr but everytime I think of my time in here, I get reminded of you because you're such a positive memory even tho we don't know each other and maybe talked less than a dozen times.

This summer, I did a solo trip to Norway and I remember thinking "Wasn't peachy norwegian?" Funny such thought even crossed my mind. Beautiful country by the way, experiencing 24 hours of sunlight was quite the deal.

So you know, today I got on tumblr and decided to check on a few blogs I used to follow. See how people are doing. One of them is you. I can't tell you how glad I was reading your life update. Knowing you're doing well. Knowing that writing is giving back to you; you always spoke of writing with such tenderness and passion. I'm happy to know that life is going well and that you're enjoying this new phase. Time keeps passing, life keeps happening. I was younger then, I grew up a tiny bit. You also grew, we are always growing. I guess what I want to say is that I'm glad we both grew up. Means we're still alive. I wish you the best. I really do. For everything you did for the community, for the big dad you were to us. For the place we could come back to. For to the human you...well, seem to be ahahahaha

I hope this doesn't come across as weird, I can be quite the sentimental one. Tbh don't even know exactly why I'm writing this. I think is just caring about people. We meet so many of them and sometimes I ask myself why. Not that I'm looking for a real answer. But I keep asking anyways.

This has been long enough, so lemme simply wish you a good end of the year. I'm happy I didn't forget about you and hopefully we'll keep growing for many years to come. Take care of yourself, and thanks. For everything.

(I do understand how ridiculous it is to send an essay like this by anonymous ask, you don't have to answer directly. I'm just very aware of myself. Growing up has done very little for that 😂)

Dear, dear anon - friend, you are exactly why I wrote and pinned that life update I left here (now a little over three years ago). Thank you SO SO much for taking the time to send me this ask, because I resonate with it so much. I know what you talk about, this tetheredness that we get from connecting with strangers through our life. I can be, and usually am, a very sentimental person myself. I find myself thinking of things like this. I appreciate connecting with people, sharing joy and fun and growth and ups and downs with them - even if it's just for a time. Five years, that's a long time even so. We shared a lot, AOT and its fandom was intense in a lot of beautiful ways. It's special to me and always will be. I feel connected to everyone who was there, even if the community's mostly dispersed now. Or maybe just more grown; more quiet. Who knows. You and I, you say we didn't direclty communicate more than a couple of times - that doesn't matter; so many of us never talked but knew of each other - saw each other on the same posts, on the same likes, part of the same events. Many we knew only by username and icon - and still, I know I can't be the only one who appreciated them greatly, for being part of the whole and for the shared ride we had. I think about them still, from time to time. I wrote my life update because I knew others had to feel the same way I did. That even if we didn't really "know" each other, everyone, and maybe found it hard to justify why - we'd still really want to know how they were doing later on. Just because. Just because we care about each other anyways. So thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, for reaching out if only to say you're happy I'm alright - and please don't think you have to apologize for writing an "essay" - you know, certain things never change, and this is one: I'm a massive long-text offender myself, haha. It's because I love it, though.

I'm just glad to hear it is the way I thought - that we're all out there, doing our own thing now, but still thinking back with fondness sometimes, and hoping everyone's doing alright.

You're right, by the way. I'm Norwegian. It sounds like you visited someplace much further north than where I'm at - which, understandable, haha. The northern parts of Norway are stunning. I daydream of owning a cabin in Lofoten some day. Just so I can see those spectacular mountains more often. Wherever you went, that's so cool! And a solo trip, too? Awesome! I hope it was everything you were hoping for! And hey, I hope you're doing good too. And I hope you see this. Christmas was so packed, I wanted to reply once I had the time to do it properly. I hope you see that I saw what you wrote me; even if you didn't mind if I replied publicly or not, there's something left unanswered when one has to wonder indefinitely. Did my words ever reach an ear/a pair of eyes? It did, and it made me smile to think about everal times until I could get back to you. Like I said, you're the kind of person I wrote my update for to begin with.

I'm so glad my blog could be of comfort and a home-y place to return to for such a long time for you. Maybe me opening up helped others, but you also helped me. Being able to grow with you guys, helped with the growing, hehe. AOT and the community shaped me a lot, and taught me so much. It was my gateway into.... so much of what's an inseparable piece of my life now. So thank you for being part of that. Maybe you're one of the these usernames/icons that made feel at home on this site and in this community, too. It takes a community to creat a community, heh. Now, since it's been three years, here's a little bit of an update on the update: I'm still chugging along on the writing train, I was right that this is where I want to be. But I've lost some steam to *things*. Life has been very... eh, very BIG... these past three years. A lot has happened. Some of it I don't want to talk about until it's completely over - but I plan to write a book about it, it was bad. Mental health - or as I started calling it in 2023: "mental HELLth" - has been a big and very present beast. But after 2023, I know I can honestly say I wholeheartedly believe I can endure whatever my depression can throw at me. I'll bend but I won't break. And also, good news: I think I've finally figured out what's "wrong" with me! I'm currently being evalutated for it, and ADHD is very likely the spoke I never could get out of my wheel! I have high hopes that with the help of the right meds (finally), I will finally... be doing generally better, haha. So, there's been ups and there's been downs, but that's nothing new, right? All that's different now is I know I'm even stronger than I thought and I might get help to be even better soon! And while I can't boast that I've published anything more yet, at least I made it to the final elimintation round for a children's anthology publication, I finished one whole first draft for a novel, I've illustrated a front cover of a published book, I've illustrated the logo and several mascots for an online webinar, I've decided to establish myself as an illustrator (in order to be allowed to illustrate my own children's books; that's just how the industry is here) and know exactly how, I've fallen in love with strength training, and I've become an uncle - twice! And these are just the tame events! Anon, I know where I'm going. And that's all I need. In order to be fine in the end, I just need to know where I'm going. So I can aim, and so I can tell that when I fall down, this isn't where I'll end up in the end. A few bumps along the way is fine... I know where I'm going. Anon. Thank you again. Your ask made me incredibly happy - and sentimental. Have a great new year, I hope you're doing amazing. Perhap you have more exciting trips ahead of you - or maybe this is the year of epic surprises? Who knows! But whatever's ahead, best of luck and best of joy! <3

Peachy

[emmg]

Serious Writing Can Go Eat Ass: A Memoir

As someone who professionally churns out words for the academic circle jerk—a place where people basically worship the Chicago Manual of Style—it feels like there's this massive disdain, or maybe more like unfiltered contempt, for anything resembling fun in writing. Want to spice up an article with some personality? Throw in a funny quote? Craft a clever phrase that might break the mind-numbing monotony? Well, too bad. It will be swiftly dismissed and frowned upon by "peers" who clutch their red pens like they’re about to perform a literary exorcism.

This disdain doesn’t just stop at academic writing either. Oh no, it follows you into your creative life, like a clingy ex, making you feel guilty for producing anything outside the suffocating realm of “serious” content. You want to write something a little frivolous? Maybe funny? Maybe smutty? Maybe just angsty trash? Well, you better remember that it's not "serious" writing, and thus, has no worth. Or maybe you’ll hear that professor's voice in your head, the one who scrawled passive-aggressive margin notes admonishing you for taking a single, harmless stylistic risk. And just like that, it becomes second nature to hate or feel embarrassed by whatever you produce for fun.

Don’t get me wrong, I love academia. I’ve worked as a model since my early teens, which means I’ve spent most of my life living in a constant state of disconnection—always moving, always on the outside looking in. So, I turned inward, and I read. And read. And read some more. I learned and absorbed everything I could. When I finally made it to university and discovered this obsessive, laser-focused intellectual pursuit—complete with professors who actually encouraged my hyperfixation—it was like stepping into nerd heaven. The research, the archives, the thrill of translating that one obscure quote, the victory of pestering some librarian across the country for months and finally getting access to those oral histories—it’s exhilarating. I’m addicted.

But man, does this “serious” environment suck the joy out of anything that isn’t deemed important or intellectual. It’s fantastic at making you feel ashamed for enjoying "lesser" forms of creativity.

In this essay I will—no, but seriously, let me just give you my Ted Talk on how traditional writing conventions can absolutely, 100% eat ass. Maybe quite literally. They drain all the enjoyment out of writing. I love writing, but I hate looking at what I produce because of it.

On the flip side, I absolutely love the time we’re living in. Thank God for AO3. I adore fanfiction. I love that there’s no joy-sucking overlord policing my words when I get lost in a fandom and write purely for the fun of it. That’s true freedom.

This is exactly why I'm so hardcore about the whole comments/kudos culture. I will absolutely drown anyone who graciously shares their work with the world in praise. Why? Because I freaking love what they create, and I refuse to let anyone feel the way I do—like their creativity doesn’t matter. So yes, thank you, bless you, saint you, for sharing your fanfiction. I will devour every word, and then I’ll devour you, dear author, in an avalanche of gratitude. Keep writing, or I swear, I'll find you and flood your inbox with even more love.

I really wish my professional life hadn’t done such an impressive job of absolutely wrecking my self-esteem when it comes to personal writing. I don’t even give a second glance at what I toss out into the world anymore. Just yeet it into the depths of AO3 and forget it ever existed. Notifications? Turned off. Comments? Oh, I’m far too mortified to respond—though I make a half-hearted attempt sometimes. It’s that weird feeling of being undeserving, or embarrassed, or something equally stupid.

I don’t even know if I’m alone in this feeling. Maybe I am. Maybe I’m not. It’s just a random slice of my thoughts. I’m 28, I shouldn’t feel like I have to hate my creative side for not being “serious.” I’m too young to be this bitter about what I create. Not that there’s an age limit on this kind of existential dread. Anyway, thanks for coming to my impromptu mental breakdown. Peace.