#lies of the floor i need a real legit break

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

✨Manager Glowup✨

🪶Karasuno Edition 🪶

Karasuno Squad x female manager

Warnings: I guess swearing? Not really but lile I used some choice words 🤷‍♀️

AN: I lied, I couldnt stay away from headcannons 🤣 This is a request from Karasuno Anon! I changed it a little from the og request because I needed my Nekoma bbys to be involved 😍 I'm selfish, sue me 🤗

Also Look for a special headcannon set coming Thursday, 12/2 👀😏

Summer break is over

School is back in session 📚

And the Karasuno squad is back... back again

Ignore me

The summer break was about 2 months long and you were absent the entire time 👀

Let's just say you were studying abroad for a few months

Kiyoko and Yachi promised to handle things

Tanaka and Noya cried for two months straight

Ennoshita had to drag them from the airport after you left 🤚🏻

They may have thought about ways to get to you to return early

Daichi shut their plans down

Somehow they all managed to make it through the two GRUELING months without their third queen 👸

The day you are scheduled to arrive back in town, they all show up at the airport

Let's be real, they made signs

Hinata and Kageyama had Yachi help them with the spelling 😭

Noya wanted to a sign that said "Come to My Arms Sweet Mama"

Because that worked out so well with Kiyoko

Suga confiscated the sign

Asahi totally drew flowers in his sign 🥺

Like come on, we all know this man can draw

He totally draws all over his notebooks

You've complimented him so many times

He's given you some of his drawings

His sign says 🌼 🌸 🌻 🌹 Welcome Home YN 🌼 🌸 🌻 🌹 "

Ennoshita and Daichi really are just there to supervise

Yachi and Kiyoko wanted to come alone

Legit they wanted to great you alone

However Tanaka read Kiyoko's texts from you "by accident" and made a secret plan to randomly "show up" at the airport

Needless to say, the whole gangs here

You're plane lands

Everyone is looking for you

You literally walk right up up to them without them even knowing it's you

Please Hinata says "excuse me we are looking for our manager" right to your face 😅

Kags is the first to notice shockingly

"Umm dumbass that IS our manager"

You 👉🏻 😀👋🏻✌🏻

Kags 👉🏻🤨😳

Daichi and Ennoshita 👉🏻😳😳

Suga and Asahi 👉🏻😲😲

Kiyoko and Yachi 👉🏻😀😃🤩

Tanaka and Noya 👉🏻 🙏🏻 🪦 💀

"Umm hi everyone"

Literally their mouths are on the floor YN

Clean up in terminal 1 please

As it turns out, your trip was both educational and life changing

You not only grew in knowledge but you grew in other ways as well 👀

Can we say ✨ GLOW UP ✨ Miss YN

Seriously whatever you did, you don't even look like yourself

I mean YN, you've always been gorgeous but like now.... NOW you are STUNNING

Literally nobody says anything

First off, like how awkward and self conscious you must feel 🥺

Like nothing says "weird" like being gone for 2 months to return to your besties staring at you

You knew you changed but you thought it was for the better

YN ignore them they literally function off one brain cell off the court 🙄

"Dont you guys like my look?" 🥺

Tears will well in your eyes

Kiyoko and Yachi snap into action

"YN I'm pretty sure liking your look isn't the issue" -Kiyoko

"Yeah YN you broke the team"- Yachi

They lead you away towards the doors

Literally the teams just stands there

Listen YN I know you just got back but like there's no time like the present

Please get them

"Come on you guys!"

You angelic voice snaps them out of their trance

They will stare at you the entire rest of the day

Hinata will ask you about all of your changes

Kageyama will pretend not to care but mans cares

Tanaka and Noya will just stand and stare they have zero shame

Suga will compliment you and tell you how amazing you look

Daichi will pretend to be himself but mans is struggling to keep it together

Tsukki and Yams legit just watch in wonder as the team falls apart👀🍿

It's going to take them all time to get over your glow up

Ok they don't get over it, let's be honest

They will see you differently looks wise

Not to be shallow because they already know you have an amazing personality but like come on...

I mean you GLOWED UP YN

And you thought tournaments were bad before? Think again 🤦‍♀️

Maybe don't even bother showing up because it's going to be so much of a hassle YN

We all know how protective Karasuno is of their managers but like they now have a sexy, a cute AND a stunning manager

These boys are going to go INSANE

But before we even get to tournament season

We have to get thought training camps 😏

And would you look at that, you returned just in time for a training camp with Nekoma, Fukurodani, Shinzen and Ubugawa

Lucky you 🤩

Let's be honest, it starts right when you get off the bus

Nekoma and Fukurodani are there to greet you

Que staring... tons of staring

As in like jaws dropped, eyes wide, drool threatening to escape STARING

Just smile and do you job YN

Kenma and Lev are the only two who will say anything

Kenma will compliment you in some form

Que Yaku snapping from his trance and kicking Lev in the head

Lev will say "YN GOT HOT"

Lev is a man of simple words 😌

Kuroo, Bokuto and Akaashi stare

Yes even Akaashi

Like Bokuto and Kuroo make it hella obvious that they are checking you out

Akaashi is more detail oriented so he hones in on something specific like hair

Now one would assume Tanaka and Noya would be the worst when it comes to this

They will hoover and glare

But actually it's Daichi

Daichi is going to say something

He's a Capricorn and we know they can't stop themselves

"See something interesting" 😑

Kuroo just smirks while Bokuto stares

Akaashi gives Daichi one of those shit eating grins he has when he tosses to Bokuto and it's amazing

Suga and Asahi are now flanking Daichi

Suga likes drama so he's going to start it

"Just make sure you focus on the game and not our manager"

Ope 👀

Asahi is just there as reinforcement

I barely kept a straight face while typing that 🤣 Asahi and reinforcement don't belong in the same sentence

You, Kiyoko and Yachi are the only ones unloading the bus

Like these guys are too busy playing alpha to even notice

I didn't even mention Yamamoto because he's off crying in the corner

It's truly unfair that Karasuno has three GORGEOUS managers and Nekoma has none 😢

After their little stand off, for the most part the boys leave you alone

I'm totally joking 🤣

Yn prepare to be asked to toss, set, retrieve balls and everything in between for the next few days

These boys will ARGUE

Coach Ukai asked you, Kiyoko and Yachi if someone could help Nekoma for the week

Let's just say that did not go over well at all 😬

"Nope that is not happening" Tanaka and Noya scream

"Coach we really need all our managers" says Daichi trying to not sound desperate

I really don't think the rest of the team cares all that much but like Daichi, Tanaka and Noya are protective

Que Kuroo and the Nekoma squad listening in 👂

Kuroo and Yaku have such smug looks on their faces

Before anyone can say anything, Lev yells

"YN come be our manager!"

Everyone freezes

You just look up and say "ok" and smile 😃

The whole team freezes

Like ok I know I said they didn't care but like after yesterday 👀

You walk over to Nekoma as Lev takes your hand and drags you away

Nekoma is all smirking

Except Kenma

Legit Kenma does not care

Wave at your precious bby crows YN 👋🏻

They look DEVESTATED

Literally they are all like 🥺🥺🥺

Why did it have to be YN 😭

Kai promises Suga they will take care of you

Suga knows you can handle yourself so he's not worried

But it's ✨Nekoma✨

Nekoma will make you feel so at home and dote on your like a queen

See my Nekoma Headcannons

However that doesn't mean you are safe for constant compliments and attention YN

Legit you are stunning and perfection

No matter what you do, these boys will find it amazing

Karasuno is going to watch you like hawks

When it comes time for a practice match between the two, it's on

Legit Kuroo will go out of his way to annoy Karasuno

He will touch your hand

Kiss your forehead

Give you hugs

All just to get under their skin

It pissed Daichi off the most 🤚🏻

Tanaka and Noya legit are just in kill mode

Suga is rolling his eyes because like he knows

Hinata and Kags didn't even know you went to Nekoma for the week 🙄

You are so conflicted on who to cheer for

So you cheer for both

Legit you are the loudest YN

Everyone swoons 😍

No matter the outcome, please just give everyone a hug

You've put your team through so much with your glow up YN, they need encouragement

Suga may have made you promise never to glow up again 😅

Taglist: @loevngyuno

[sondepoch]

HC: MC breaks a bone!

Demons can’t break bones. Neither can angels. Nope, from head to toe, they’re pretty much indestructible. So imagine everyone’s utter shock when you break a bone, and they’re reminded of just how weak the human body really is.

Word Count: 5.2k

SFW + mild violence + mild description of broken bones 

Characters: All Brothers + All Undateables + Luke

MASTERLIST

Lucifer

Boi flips out

So it didn’t actually happen while he was around, which is why he has so much trouble understanding what happened

You tripped on the steps outside Majolish? And you fell the wrong way??? And somehow, that was enough for you to break your ankle?!?!?!

Poor baby, he has no idea how he’s going to relay the information to Diavolo

When Mammon and Asmo sheepishly enter his study to tell him what happened, they’re highkey terrified for their lives - but learning that you actually broke a bone has him so shook that he doesn’t even remember to punish them, and he’s instead rushing to your room to see the damage for himself

He sees Belphie napping on your stomach and sort of assumes that everything is okay, and that his brothers were making a big deal out of nothing

Then he gets closer and sees the horribly twisted angle your left foot is in

Suffice it to say, neither Mammon nor Asmo returned to their rooms fully unscathed that night

Overcomes his natural hatred of Solomon to call him and ask for—brace yourself—help, and when the mage offers to cast a spell that will revert your body to its prior state, Lucifer insists on doing it himself, no longer trusting anyone else with your all-too-fragile body

Relocates your room to the first floor of the house after all is said and done

Asks Diavolo to move all your classes such that you don’t need to climb any stairs

Refuses to believe you when you tried to insist that bones breaking is fairly common for humans

Becomes super overprotective

Insists on helping you with everything

“Lucifer, I can walk down the stairs myself, you know.”

“Yes, I’m sure you can” - he says with a straight face, refusing to let go of your hand as he takes you down the two-step elevation outside the House of Lamentation

(Bonus:) One day he catches you and Levi looking at parkour videos and from that moment and onward he refuses to let you out of sight for any longer than is absolutely necessary

(Bonus bonus:) Catches you doing "parkour" in your bedroom, jumping from Beel’s shoulders to the bed, and then it becomes a new house rule that you’re not allowed to climb onto Beel’s shoulders

Mammon

He was with you when it happened, and the second he heard the crack, he screamed

Honestly, the most high-pitched, shrill sound you’d ever heard

You were more scared of the noise coming out of Mammon’s mouth than the awkward way your pinky was dangling

Only when he was done screaming did the pain actually set in, and then you were hissing viciously in an attempt to distract yourself, trying your hardest to blink the tears from your eyes because Mammon already looked like he was about to cry, and the Devildom really didn’t need two blubbering messes in one day

The one saving grace for you both was the fact that Simeon was nearby, and he used his Celestial magic to heal you (you both begged him not to tell Lucifer, of course)

Baby becomes even more possessive over you afterwards

Still can’t get over how easily it happened

“Are ya sure?” Mammon asks whenever you casually tell him you’re about to do something. Doesn’t matter if you say you’re folding paper cranes or planning on jumping off the roof of the House of Lamentation, he’s lost pretty much all faith in your ability to do anything without your human body breaking in the process

Oddly enough, he becomes much more touchy with you

Needs you to “prove to him” that you’re not injured by squeezing his hand

And then he just doesn’t let go

Oh, you’re holding hands? What? Who said that? Wait, can you prove that you’re not injured and squeeze his hand again? It’s for safety purposes. For safety.

Occasionally, though, he really does have you move your pinky just to prove to him that there weren’t any lasting effects

Overprotectiveness increases by 500 points

Starts to hover around your room a lot more, awkwardly trying to help (really, he’s doing his best) but often doing things much worse than if you simply did them yourself

Gets into a fight with his brothers whenever one of them handles you too roughly

“Hey!” He shouts at pretty much anyone who touches you “Ya gonna hurt my human!”

Will drop anything and everything if he ever sees you trip to catch your fall

Legit, he was once holding Lucifer’s cup of coffee and out of the corner of his eye, he saw you jump to flop on the couch. Cue instant panic mode: he turned into his demon form and all - literally throwing the coffee on Lucifer as he ran forward to catch your body before the couch could break any of your bones

Yeah, he got into a lot of trouble that day

Leviathan

Has officially decided that he’s never going outside again

Ever.

It happened while you were both at one of Lord Diavolo’s parties - you were trying to maneuver the crowds in search of him, actually, and another demon tugged you close and tried to force you to dance. You fought back, of course, frowning as you escaped the demon’s hold, but apparently, they pulled you back and your wrist just snapped

God, he doesn’t think he’ll ever forget the sound of your scream

The demon was punished severely, Diavolo made sure of that. But Levi didn’t care anymore - he just wanted to get you back home, safe and sound

In the following days, he never leaves your side

You have to switch to online classes, at least for as long as your wrist is healing, and Levi takes it upon himself to make sure that the assimilation process is as smooth as possible

You start taking all your classes together, remaining in the same room even if you don’t have the same subject

Homework is a little harder, since Levi usually finishes before you, but he waits for you to finish while he reads manga

Evenings are spent watching anime in his room and debating random topics (oh, and you both marathon the entirety of TSL a couple more times ;))

He even tries to let you get the video game experience, and he picks an RPG game for you both to play and lets you tell him what to do an how to move around, since your wrist is broken

It’s actually super fun because he knows where all the traps are and which ones you’ll like, so he subtly guides your character through the gameplay process to get the best possible experience, and you actually end up enjoying this more than playing solo

(As a joke, he once offers to let you play with him. As in, you use your nonbroken hand to control the left side of the controller and he controls the right side, but that turns out to be a hot mess and you both quickly abandon the idea)

Even after your wrist heals, the two of you continue to spend boatloads of time together

This boy even stops calling you “normie” at one point

Real subtle about it but he tries to convince you not to go back into society again. Like ever. 

“What if you get hurt again?” He asks when you tell him you’ve made plans with Asmo to go shopping

“Then we get to spend even more time together, all over again!”

Cue leviathan/blushingmess.exe

Satan

Probably the ONLY brother to have actually known that it’s possible for humans to break bones

Why?

He read about it in a book once

Still, that doesn’t stop him from visually flinching when he sees you writhing on the ground after being shoved into a bike rack by a lower-level demon, clutching your arm which is disfigured so awkwardly that the bone is popping out

His demon form manifests immediately, and he’s about to rip this demon to shreds when you desperately call out his name, and then he’s more preoccupied with helping you than he is with beating this demon to death

(Inwardly, though, he’s quite relieved that you stopped him from killing the demon immediately. Now, he’ll get to spend the next four millennia torturing the creature slowly, keeping it just an inch from death until he’s satisfied that the demon has paid for injuring you so severely. :))

Runs over to you immediately and pulls you onto his lap, quickly muttering an enchantment that will temporarily numb the pain

Proceeds to ask you whether you want him to use magic to forcefully heal you or if you want to heal the human way

Will respect your wishes 100% no matter which you choose

Throws himself into reading and studying human medicine as soon as the two of you get back to the House of Lamentation

By the end of the month, he’s an expert on human anatomy (and where human strength lies on a comparative figure to demon strength)

Takes it upon himself to watch out for you, threatening any demons who express behavior that isn’t excessively cautious

Starts walking with you and Mammon to and from school

Keep it lowkey, but the truth is that he doesn’t trust his brother to fully make sure that you’re safe so he takes it upon himself

Doesn’t really panic too much, he knows that you getting injured was more the demon’s fault than it was yours

Is actually very considerate of your feelings in all this

Consciously makes sure that he doesn’t treat you too differently, not wanting to make you feel like he thinks you’re weak. But he no longer trusts other demons around you, and after getting your permission, he casts an enchantment on you which prevents lower-level demons from touching you without your explicit consent

Smiles devilishly every single time one of them tries to shove you in the hallways of RAD and gets sent flying 30 meters backwards in response

Devilish smile intensifies when he finally gets around to kidnapping and torturing the demon who dared to push and injure you in the first place

Asmodeus

He’s worried about you for a good hour

Not to say he’s inconsiderate

No, he’s understandably concerned immediately after he sees you on crutches, and when you come home with a broken foot, he’s immediately hanging out with you and completely (read: barely) restraining himself from making flirtatious comments in case you’re still in pain

The second he realizes that you’re fine as long as you don’t apply pressure on it, a switch flips

Now that he knows that the fracture isn’t going to spread to the rest of your body and destroy you from the inside, he’s overwhelmed with how cute it is that you need his help to do basic stuff

And honestly, you kinda vibe with it

He’s the shortest brother, so you having to ask him for help to get things off the shelf because you can’t stand is a rarity, and he is living for it

He lives with six overlords of hell, so the feeling of someone asking (no matter how reluctant) him for help in simple stuff like climbing up or down the stairs is something he absolutely cherishes

The second he realizes how good it feels to do stuff for you, he’ll never stop

Will 100% put Mammon to shame in how frequently he starts hanging by your side

He thinks of everything even before you do, always making sure that when you guys sit down, you have everything you need to be occupied for hours: from water to nail polish to the latest gossip at RAD, this man will make it his life’s mission to be the perfect prince while you’re injured

Seriously spoils you

Even when you finally heal and get better, he doesn’t stop helping you

Actually has the nerve to start complaining when you try to do stuff on your own

“You’re going to hurt yourself! Let me do it for you!”

“Asmo, I’m microwaving popcorn”

It doesn’t matter if you shower him with 'thank yous’ or if you grunt in annoyance every time he sits down next to you with an item you were about to get up and look for, he knows you appreciate the things he’s doing and that’s all he needs

Effectively gives you the royal treatment, occasionally putting Barbatos to shame with how diligent he is in helping you out

It never stops, even months after you’ve made a full recovery

Then again, who are you to complain? ;)

Beelzebub

Suddenly becomes terrified of his own strength

He’s there as it happens, and the way your face immediately contorts in pain right before you bite your lip to stop yourself from screaming will really never stop haunting him

It doesn’t help that you get injured from something that would usually be considered child-safe in the Devildom - a small windup toy which your fingers had gotten stuck in before two of them snap completely

Man is by your side immediately

The pit in his stomach isn’t caused by hunger but by genuine fear as he watches Lucifer and Satan soothe you with magic

He wants to run over to you and wipe your tears away, but should he? How can that be a good idea? He’s easily 1000000000x stronger than that toy you were messing around with, and what if he accidentally hurts you?

He knew it was possible for him to kill you before, but now he realizes how easy it would be - so simple that he might not even realize it

Instantly steps back and begins avoiding physical contact with you, trying his hardest to be there for you emotionally but struggling because every time you ask him for cuddles, he awkwardly changes the subject and looks away

He only comes clean to you about his concerns after you get mad at him and plant yourself in his lap, wrapping your arms around his head angrily as you demand that he give you affection

“Beel,” You mutter, a light pout forming on your face. “The reason you’re strong isn’t just because you have the muscles, it’s because you have control. You’ve never hurt me before, and nothing you do will hurt me now, so stop being such a stubborn goof and hug me”

Cue very hesitant hug

But it’s a start, and he slowly becomes physically close to you once more

(Subtly tries to let you stay in charge, though. He’ll initiate hugs, but you’re the one to squeeze tightly, and he’ll simply follow your lead)

Decides that rather than being afraid of what his strength can do, he’s going to use it to his advantage - and he resolves to become even stronger so that if there’s ever anything that can cause you pain, he’ll be there by your side protecting you, whether it’s against a demon strong as Diavolo or another windup toy from Majolish

Gets into the habit of running his fingers over your hand after it’s done healing, checking for scars and making sure that you’re still completely healed

Slowly develops into handholding - and who is Beel to complain? If he’s holding your hand, he’s by your side, and if he’s by your side, he can better protect you, so there’s no problem there

Belphegor

Quietly blames himself

It apparently happened while you were alone, and you fell down the stairs in the House of Lamentation. But Belphie is 99.99% sure that you were only going up to see him, and if he had just been awake, this never would have happened

Not to mention, this was the second time he had caused you pain, and it wasn’t even intentional!

Boy can’t look you in the eyes properly after the incident

Starts forcing himself to stay awake and isolates himself in the attic

Only when Beel finally gets serious and asks him what’s wrong does he quietly confess his thoughts, and his twin is quick to relay the information back to you

Honestly, you’re lowkey relieved when you hear the reason 

You were beginning to think that Belphie was avoiding you because he had grown tired of your company, and the thought was sort beginning to break your heart

That doesn’t stop you from yelling at him for being inconsiderate 

“This is why you need to talk about your feelings, Belphie!”

“But— “

“No buts!”

Honestly, he’s kind of relieved to see you yell at him so animatedly despite the cast around your arm, it makes him realize that although you’re physically injured, you’re mentally fine

Is very hesitant about napping on you, especially since he knows that if he falls asleep and accidentally shifts into a position that hurts you, you won’t be strong enough to stop him

You flick his forehead and tell him to not to be stupid, insisting that he sleeps next to you like usual, and he very hesitantly leans on the shoulder of the opposite arm you injured

Becomes way more considerate, even when tired

Shift in your sleep? He’s awake, checking to make sure that you aren’t uncomfortable or in pain

Wake up and try to get a glass of water? No problem, Belphie will get it for you, just stay here and sleep tight

Hogging the blanket? For the first time, Belphie doesn’t even mind, he’ll just carefully snuggle closer to you, double-checking that you’re comfortable before drifting back off to sleep

Even after the cast comes off, he’s still conscious about how tightly he grips you and how much physical exertion you put your body through, always reminding himself that, above all, you’re human and your body can’t handle the things his can

Solomon

Groans

That’s right, thanks to an awkward fall, your toe is broken, and this wizard boy has to audacity to groan at the sight of you on the floor, tears in your eyes as you clutch your foot through your shoe

“As if those brothers don’t hate me enough as is,” He grumbles, lifting you to your feet and whisking you back to Purgatory Hall, where he goes full medic mode and inspects the damage

Tries his hardest to convince you to let him fix it with magic, but just last week, he accidentally turned you into a cat while attempting to place a strength enchantment over you, so you’re understandably hesitant as you refuse him

As expected, when the brothers find out, they put him through hell (pun intended)

For not being able to protect you while it happens (they ignore his complaints that it was technically you who fell and injured yourself) he is now tasked with your recovery

Aka he is your slave

You make him carry your books when you go from class to class, you make him buy you lunch from the cafeteria, you make him give you his lecture notes whenever you don’t feel like paying attention in class

Hell, if he weren’t such a god awful cook, you would probably make him take over your cooking duty, as well

“This is abuse” He huffs one day, sighing in irritation after you ask him to go fetch you a glass of water

“I’m sorry?” You ask, feigning innocence. “What’s that? Did you ask me to go tell Lucifer that you aren’t treating me properly?”

Grumbles under his breath in six different languages, cursing you out in each one of them as you wink at him

You’re almost sad when your toe finally heals, and he’s finally free

Thankfully, the two of you somehow grew used to each other after spending so much time together for so long, and (much to the brothers’ displeasure) you continue hanging out with Solomon long after you’re off crutches

Will tease you about it when it’s all over

He doesn’t forget about how you lorded over him for as long as you were injured, and thus takes it upon himself to make sure that you don’t get hurt again under his watch

(At least, that’s what he tells himself as he holds your hand to march you down the steps outside Majolish, not letting go even after the ‘threat’ is passed)

Simeon

confusedangel.exe

First and foremost, how did this happen??

He’s so concerned and shocked when you show up to RAD one day in crutches because you broke a bone on your leg

Didn’t know that was possible

Actually goes home and spends half an hour on the Devildom equivalent of Google trying to maneuver his phone and search up how common this is and whether it’s normal for humans

Accidentally opens the images tab and sees a bunch of super disturbing and painful-looking injuries, and he nearly drops his phone altogether

Instantly assumes that your injury is as bad as those, despite your constant reassurances that you’re fine as long as you don’t apply too much pressure

Lots of pampering

He’s suddenly available 100% of the time for you, no matter what he’s already doing or the time of day

Insists on helping you wherever he can, like holding your stuff for you at RAD, ferrying you from class to class without forcing you to don that heavy rucksack 

Even takes over the responsibility of walking you to and from school

He doesn’t quite understand that your injury is physical??

Like he can’t seem to wrap his head around the fact that you’re mentally unaffected by the injury, because angelic injuries are typically so difficult to induce and severe that they always cause some kind of trauma 

He’s always testing you - double-checking that you remember facts from old lectures, holding up fingers to test your sight, even asking you details about himself��every now and then

That’s actually the story of how you accidentally told him that you thought his eyes were prettier than the sky and he still hasn’t forgotten it

Never really forgets about your injury, even after your crutches are long gone

Protectiveness goes up by 5000%

He suddenly becomes acutely aware of the fact that you’re surrounded by demons and, although the brothers usually mean well, he becomes impossible concerned for how you’re faring

He expresses his concerns to you one day really sweetly and you’re so touched because ??? How can someone be this pure???

To ease his concerns, you both start hanging out a lot more - when before you mostly hung out at the RAD library before parting ways, Simeon now invites you over to Purgatory Hall more often and you bring him back to the House of Lamentation so that he can see how safe you are with the brothers

Luke

Just like Simeon, there’s so much confusion going on inside this smol bean’s head

Are you really telling him that you??? the person who has taken it upon themself to be protective over HIM??? are so weak and fragile??? that tripping over a pebble was enough to fracture your jaw???

The roles in your relationship are suddenly reversed

(Or well, Luke tries to reverse them)

He does his best to be there for you instead of vice versa, insisting that you no longer need to save him from the brothers when they make fun of him for being like a chihuahua 

Lowkey, he actually earns their respect for how protective he’s suddenly being over you, but the baby can only go so far because - face it - he’s basically ten years old

Doesn’t let that stop him from shooting dirty looks toward any demon who looks at the bandages on your face twice

Immediately goes home and researches what kind of foods you can comfortably eat, and enlists both Barbatos and Beel’s help in cooking soft dishes for you that you’ll be able to eat, despite your injury

Does his best to help you where he can

Takes over your cooking duty at the House of Lamentation

Takes extra-detailed notes so he can lend them to you after class

Even goes as far as to get high-quality Celestial bandages with natural healing properties and gives them to you, hoping that everything he’s doing will make your recovery a little bit faster

He’s really come to look up to you as an older sibling, so seeing you injured (even if you don’t necessarily show the pain) has him seriously torn up inside, and it takes all his effort to keep a straight face every time he looks at you and sees the bandages on your face

If you’re even a little self-conscious about any scars afterwards, he will spend hours convincing you that you look fine (and in truth, he can’t actually see the scar anymore, so he’s being honest)

Long after you’re recovered, he will remember at the most random times that you’re so fragile despite always looking so strong, and it tears him up inside

Because of this, random, tearful hugs become the norm

Occasionally, one look is all it takes before his eyes are welling with tears and he’s burying his face inside your stomach, holding you tight and promising to “protect you to make sure that you never get hurt again”

Very innocent, very sweet

Never fully forgets ever again just how fragile humans are

Barbatos

Knew it could happen

Was sort of prepared for it to happen

Didn’t actually expect it to fucking happen

This is probably one of the only times where he regrets not using his powers to check and see what the future held - literally, it would have been so easy to have saved you had he known it was coming 

Went to Diavolo asking to switch timelines but the demon lord said no

Highkey becomes incredibly protective of you, just in super subtle ways

You suddenly find yourself invited to Diavolo’s palace much more often, and it’s Barbatos who now entertains you, bringing you there under the guise of asking you to “taste the new recipes” he’s attempting to perfect

Pfft, his recipes are already the definition of perfect - the only reason he’s putting that food in your mouth is because he cast a spell on it, and it’ll make your bones stronger

Dodges all questions when you ask about it, real slick

“Barbatos, isn’t this the same dish you gave Beel when we came here last month?”

“I’m afraid I have no recollection of what you’re talking about.”

“You know, the dessert you gave him after he asked you for the biggest banana spli—”

“Oh my, would you look at the time. Let’s get you home, now, before it gets too late”   

Used to walk in front of you when walking you around the palace, but he now walks behind you so that he can watch you in case you trip

I mean, why wouldn’t he? You managed to break your collarbone while jumping down the stairs in Diavolo’s palace - you clearly can’t be trusted to look after your own health

(lowkey also never leaves you unsupervised around Mammon again, who in hell thinks it’s a good idea to try parkour of all things in the castle of the demon lord??? and encourages it?????)

Finds it incredibly endearing when your injury renders you unable to do basic tasks

Like if you were a helpless human in his mind before, now you’re less independent than an unpottytrained demonchild, and Barbatos is living for it, especially since you’re too stubborn to ask the brothers for help, so you turn to him instead

Absolutely loves when you text him for help

[17:39] MC: barbatos?

[17:40] Barbatos: Yes? Are you in need of something?

[17:40] MC: ...i was walking around the House of Lamentation and i accidentally banged into the wall outside Satan’s room and there was a really big sound and it turns out that i knocked a bunch of his books off the shelf and he comes home in half an hour and please help he’s going to kill me if he sees what happened

[17:40] Barbatos:

[17:41] Barbatos: I’ll be right there.

Diavolo

Oh boy

This man has lived a long, LONG time and never in all those millennia has he been as pissed as he is now, seeing you sheepishly lean on Mammon for support with the nearly all of your leg hanging limp

What he can’t grasp is the fact that this actually happened in school

Like, it would be one thing if a demon had injured you out of spite - he could simply punish them for all eternity and eradicate the root of the problem

But for you to be injured this severely? In spellcasting class, no less?

Instantly fires the teacher who was careless enough to let you walk into a casting circle which almost obliterated you whole - and spends ages commending Satan for having the wit to save you before things got even worse

But that doesn’t stop him from using the full extent of his princely power to ensure your continued safety

Instantly moves you out of the House of Lamentation and into his own palace, ignoring Lucifer’s repeated requests for you to not be moved

“I need to make sure they’re comfortable,” He hisses to his right-hand man, almost to Barbatos’s amusement. “The healing process for humans is long, and I need to make sure that they get better without the distractions your brothers provide”

Makes it painfully clear that if you ever get injured again under an RAD teacher’s watch, nothing will be able to save them from the unforgiving flames of his wrath

Starts spending as much time with you as humanly possible 

He always stops by your room in the afternoon, generally to check on your well being and to inquire on how you’re faring, but those conversations always seem to wrap up late at night, long after you’ve both abandoned the original topic at hand and are lost in discussion over something else

One time, when he was feeling particularly guilty after looking at the painful swelling on your leg, he invited you back to his own room to sleep on his bed because - as the acting king of the Devildom - his bed is literally the most comfortable place in the world and he hardly uses it

You sleep in it once and can never sleep anywhere else again

For more reasons than one

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(Reluctantly) offers to let you move back into the House of Lamentation once you’re completely healed, but celebrates like crazy when you tell him that you’d much rather stay with him, and it becomes SUCH an ego stroke every time you remind him how much you adore it in his palace

Lowkey grateful that you got injured because it was the catalyst that allowed you both to grow close

But will absolutely make sure that nothing of the like ever happens again

[jamie-leah]

Traitor

Bucky x Reader

Oneshot

Summary: Everyone thinks you're a traitor but Bucky isn't convinced.

Word: 2592

Warnings: Swearing, action stuff, hints at abuse and violence at the end.

A/N: I had a half formed daydream that turned into this. Starts strong, ends weak, enjoy!

Oneshot Masterlist Series Masterlist

Steve throws your file on the desk in front of Bucky. Bucky just stares at your face on the front of the folder, pinned by a silver paper clip.

Silver was your favourite type of jewellery. Bucky remembered storing the information away for when he bought you a silver necklace for your birthday not long ago.

“I’m sorry, Buck, but we had an operative confirm everything I just told you. Y/N is a contract killer, an assassin and she was sent here to infiltrate and kill. Namely, all of us.”

Bucky hears the words coming from Steve’s mouth, but he can’t understand them. Images of you flash in his mind. You laughing at one of his lame jokes, you crying in his arms from a nightmare, you underneath him moaning his name as he kisses a trail down your neck.

Bucky shakes his head, “I don’t believe that Steve, I can’t. Who’s the source? How do you know they’re legit?”

Steve picks up a remote and points it at a screen in the room. It blinks to life on a still image of you in a restaurant, kissing the cheek of one of the most prominent mob bosses in the city and known Hydra agent.

Bucky stands so fast his chair cracks on the floor as he tears out of the office at full speed. He skips passed the elevator and takes the stairs, missing steps in his rush.

He keeps going and going until he hits the lowest level underneath the tower and storms passed all the guards. None of them challenge him, too afraid of the former Winter Soldier to get in his way.

As Bucky gets to the cells, he grabs an agent by the scruff and grinds out, “which cell?”

They all knew who he was talking about. Everyone would be talking about this for a while to come. The agent points into the open space of cells and stutters, “its, c-cell 203”.

Bucky drops the agent and stalks through the cells until he finally comes to 203. He steps into view with clenched fists and doesn’t pause before he asks, “why?”

You sit on the edge of the cot, elbows on knees, staring at the grey wall opposite. It takes you a moment to build up the courage to look at him. You never intended for this to happen. You never wanted to get feelings involved, but as you look at Bucky, you know it’s far too late for that now. Now you have a mess on your hands.

You debate how to play this. Do you keep up the contract killer façade or do you confess, tell him everything you’ve ever wanted to tell another human being before?

“Barnes, I should have known you would pay me a visit sooner rather than later.”

Bucky felt like you had struck him in the face with the way you addressed him, but he holds firm, “why?”

“Why what? I’m afraid you’ll have to be more specific”, you reply coolly as you stand to face him.

Bucky changes his question, “is it true? Are you a contract killer?”

It takes you a few moments to keep the mask in place, “yes”.

You watch the pain flash across his features for the briefest of moments before he locks it away to be felt in private. It breaks your heart, but you’re so used to the feeling it never shows on your face.

Bucky goes to turn from you, wanting to get away, the sight of you too much to bear. You throw a question out into the void between you before he can retreat, “are you really going to leave without asking me the question you’ve been dying to ask me?”

Bucky never turns back to look at you, but he whispers, “was any of it ever real?”

Despite knowing this was the question, despite hearing it from a few people across your lifetime, it was the first time it ever hit you in the gut with such force you had to take a silent gulp of air before choking out, “no”.

He leaves without another word.

You wait a few days. Working out the routine of the place before you wait for your next move.

You wait with your back to a small portion of the concrete wall next to the cell door. A blind spot. And when the guard brings your food and slides it under the metal bars, he looks up to find you missing.

Just as he steps closer to look, you strike. You shoot your arms between the bars and pull so hard his head bangs into the metal and he crumples, out cold.

You drag is body parallel to the door and you sweep his body for keys. You start to lose hope when your hand flits over cool metal and a little jingle rings out.

You wait fifteen minutes until lights out and the use the keys. You drag the guard into the cell, swapping your uniforms before closing the door and locking him in. You check all your hair is tucked until the cap before heading for the locked door between freedom and your prison.

You rap on the metal with your heart beating furiously against your ribcage. But the door opens without a problem and you have to stop yourself from sprinting down the hall and up the stairwell.

Once you make it up one flight of stairs with no alarms raised you start to sprint. Before you leave, you have to make it back to your room for your go bag. You can’t leave it when it has all the information you need for what started this all off.

You run and run and run. You run until your lungs burn with a fire that’s been flowing in your veins since you were born. You run until your legs scream at you to stop and just when you don’t think you can take any more flights of stairs, you make it to the top.

You stop. Your hand on the handle, taking a moment to get your breathing under control. You push the handle down slowly and open the door a crack to find the hallway in darkness.

You slip through and creep on the tiles without a sound as you make it to the first spare room in the hall.

You get into the room no problem and let out a breath when you realise no one knows you used this room to stash your information.

You waste no time in grabbing your go back from the closet, checking everything you need is in there before heading for the door again. Three steps from the exit and alarms scream out, waking everyone from their slumber. The alarm is followed by a female robotic voice, “alert, alert, prisoner escape. Alert, alert, prisoner escape.”

You swear under your breath as you rush out the door to see Bucky, Natasha and Sam at the end of the hall, near the stairway. Your only exit.

They spot you seconds after you spot them, and you take off running in the opposite direction. You can’t afford a hand to hand with all three of them. As confident as you are in your abilities they have just as much, and you don’t want to hurt them.

They shout in your direction, but you ignore them as you unzip your bag and rummage around for a miracle. You get to the living space when you finally feel it and a flimsy plan comes to mind.

You turn, gun in both hands as you drop the go bag. Bucky, Natasha and Sam all creep into the room, guns pointed in your direction as yours is in theirs.

“There’s nowhere else to go now, Y/N,” Sam says in his calm way.

You hold firm, the sofas keeping the four of you apart. You look in Bucky’s direction as you talk, “things are more complicated than they seem. And I’m sorry you were caught up in it. I’m not a good person and I’ll get what I deserve, but I have something I need to do first.”

“And what’s that? Kills us?”, Nat asks.

You shake your head, still looking at Bucky, “If I wanted to kill you, I could have done it three times over. You’re not my mission.”

“Then give yourself up and explain.” Sam tries to reason.

You lower your gun slowly, “it would take too long, and you may never believe me. I can’t afford that, and I’ll never get a chance like this again.”

Bucky remains silent throughout the whole exchange, but you study each other the entire time. You try to convey that you lied earlier before reaching up your arm with lightning speed.

Two shots and the chandelier that Stark insisted on installing for the living room crashes in front of the three as you turn and shoot the glass window. As the glass spiderwebs, you drop the gun and run at full speed. You have a moment to acknowledge that throwing yourself from the top of the tower is the dumbest move you’ve ever made as the air rushes to greet you.

You twist with a hand in your pocket and throw upwards, watching and praying for your miracle to work as the rope and hook catches and you plummet.

You fall down the building on the rope watching the ground and unclip at the last second, rolling with the momentum as the impact jars through your bones.

Bucky couldn’t believe you threw yourself out the window. He was the first to recover, leaping over the lights and the sofa to dive head first after you. He digs his metal hand into the concrete and slides down after you.

He sees you roll and run immediately like the pro that you are and wastes no time pursuing you.

You dart between traffic and glance behind to see him behind you. You growl in frustration at the stubborn solider, having to change your plans once again as you head for the roads.

You instinctively feel Bucky gaining on you with the serum pumping through his veins so when you spot a cargo truck coming on the road below. You don’t hesitate to jump off the road you’re on and slam into the truck underneath.

Your lungs scream for the third time that night as all the air leaves them, but you pay no attention as you look up to find Bucky staring after you.

You walk in the quiet of the night, looking down at the folded piece of paper. You check you have the right address when the empty warehouse finally comes into view. You slip in without any problems and head over to the machine where you stashed more stuff.

Just as you go to reach for the bag you hear the click of a gun. You freeze. You turn slowly, with your hands visible and find yourself staring into the face of Bucky and the barrel of his gun.

You resist the urge to roll your eyes and sigh, “how did you find me?”

“Please, do you really think I don’t know you after all this time? After our talk in the cells, I checked all the spare rooms. Found your go bag and the addresses. This was the closest one to the tower”, Bucky replies with an easy shrug.

You nod your head, “but if you found them, why did you leave them there? Why didn’t you tell anyone else?”.

“Tell me what’s going on, Y/N”, Bucky dodges the question.

You knew there was no other way out of this now. You had to tell him if you ever had a hope of getting this done tonight.

“Look, can you put the gun down-“

“Not until you tell me what’s going on. I can’t trust you.”

You pretend like his words don’t hurt, though they’re warranted, “okay, okay. Look, most of it is true. I am a contract killer. Long story short, I was born into a mob family. Mum died giving birth to me and left me and my older sister with my piece of shit father, the “use you as an ashtray type father”. At least he did with my sister. She took the brunt of his shit…anyway, when I turned 13 and had my first period, he sold me to a man. That man? Was the mob boss I know you saw me with, Joe Selene. I’ll skip passed all the torture and right to the part where he trained me as a contract killer for him and bided my time. My father had gone underground and with my limited access to resources I couldn’t find him.”

Bucky lowers the gun as you go through your story, his features softening at your tale of tragedy.

“I swore to my sister that I would come for her but I needed to gain the trust of Selene so I could get the resources to find my father. That was when he got involved with Hydra and they asked him to take you out. I agreed, knowing that you would have all the resources I needed to find my father and my sister.”

Bucky shakes his head, “why didn’t you tell me, us, any of this? We could have helped you.”

You look away from him, “because about a week after I got to the tower, I read my sisters name in the obituary. All the people I had killed to get to my sister was for nothing. She died alone, waiting for a rescue that never came and I knew…I knew that I was going to kill that bastard for everything that happened. I also knew that none of you would let me. You would reason about justice and doing things the right way. But I know what’s right and that’s that bastard six feet under and in hell.”

You look back up at Bucky to find him already watching you. You square your shoulders and jut your chin as you say, “so, you’re either with me or against me and so help me God, if you try to stop me from leaving this building and killing that piece of shit, I will not hesitate to put you down. I told you that you’re not my mission, but I will damn make sure nothing gets in the way.”

Bucky nods, “I’m in.”

You turn back to your bag and pull out the knives to strap around your body. You hand a few to Bucky and he takes them without a word.

As he turns to head back out of the warehouse you throw the question out again, “are you really going to leave without asking me the question you’ve been dying to ask me?”

Bucky turns to look at you this time. He captures your eyes with his as he stares into your soul and whispers, “was any of it real?”

You reply without hesitation, “yes. Every single word.”

Bucky takes a few long strides before grabbing your face with his hands and crashing his lips to yours in a bruising kiss. You return with the same ferocity, gripping his shirt in your fists to try and bring his body closer to yours.

When you can no longer breathe, you break the kiss. You both pant as Bucky brings his forehead down to meet yours. He whispers, “after we go drop a few bodies, what do you say we go take a trip. Just you and me?”

[yourlocalfictionalenthusiast]

IN LIFE, IN DEATH...

PART FOUR

Pt1, Pt2, Pt3

Warnings: fighting with parents and some swearing

---

The bright sunlight hit your eyes and you squinted a little as your feet hit the driveway.

Julie’s song was still playing through your head, and so was your conversation with her last night. The passion in her voice when she sang was the same as when she talked about her mom.

You wanted to run in and comfort her somehow, but Luke seemed insistent on staying outside, making Alex grumble next to you.

“Dude, why did you stop me? Julie needs a hug.”

“A ghost hug is not the feel-good moment you think it is. Trust me.” Luke said. What Julie needs is some privacy.”

“I think you poofed us out because you can’t handle when other people cry.” Alex waved his finger in Luke’s face, making you frown at his words.

It wasn’t a secret that Luke wasn’t the best with feelings, but he had always been there for you. Last night in the darkroom, and again at the diner, and countless other times.

“I should know,” Alex continued, gesturing between Luke and Reggie. “I cried in a room for 25 years, and I didn’t get a single hug from either of you.”

Reggie sighed, opening his arms. “Bring it in.”

“Don’t touch me!”

“This is why no one but (Y/n) hugs you.” Reggie mumbled as you rubbed Alex’s arm.

“Okay.” Luke interrupted. “So, once we get the courage to go in there, we should ask Julie why she lied about playing the piano.”

Alex shrugged. “And maybe tell her how amazing she is?”

You nodded and Reggie exclaimed. “She’s legit! I got ghost-bumps.”

Just then, the gate leading to the house swung open and a girl made her way down the pavement. As she got closer, you could hear her sobbing quietly.

“Oh no, was she crying too?” You asked as the girl entered the garage.

“Yes!” Luke shivered. “We definitely can’t go in there.”

“No, but we can listen.” Reggie ran towards the door, standing on his tip-toes to peek through the window.

“Guys! We can’t eavesdrop, that’s creepy!” You whispered, but the boys ignored you and crowded the door.

Seconds later, they all ducked to avoid being seen and you couldn’t help but be curious. So you ran over and squeezed yourself between Luke and Alex.

“I’m not okay!” The other girl shouted. “You got kicked out of music! I’ve been up all night thinking about what I was gonna say, and I might’ve had seven sodas but I need to get this out.”

“Flynn-” Julie started but Flynn shook her head and started ranting.

“Jules, if you leave the music program, we’ll be apart forever. Sure, we’ll see each other in the hallway sometimes but we’ll make new friends.”

“That’s not true.” Julie said.

“You’re right, I won’t make any new friends. The only time we’ll contact each other is by liking each other’s posts on Instagram. Every time I hit that little heart, mine will be breaking because my best friend left me.”

“What’s Instagram?“ Alex whispered to you. You shrugged, making a mental note to ask Julie later.

Julie sighed. “I just played piano and sang again.”

“What? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was trying but then your seven sodas kicked in.” Julie laughed.

Flynn squealed. “I’m so happy for you! Look at you, looking all alive again. What made you play again?”

Julie slid her mom’s song across the piano to show Flynn and you couldn’t help but smile. You obviously hadn’t known Julie for long, but you were so happy that she reconnected with her mom and music.

“I was so scared to play it, cause everything having to do with music reminds me of her. But I woke up this morning, realizing that’s exactly why I should play it. To keep her memory alive.”

“We need to tell Mrs. Harrison that you can play so you can stay in the music program. My girl’s back! Double Trouble lives again.”

“Not our band name.” Julie laughed as the girls started walking out of the garage.

“Shit, she’s coming!” You whispered. “Act natural.”

You and Reggie sank to the floor, Luke leaned on his arm and Alex pretended to inspect the light hanging above you. Julie made eye contact with you and smiled.

“Oh, hey!”

Flynn turned around and watched Julie expectantly. Julie laughed awkwardly and started skipping down the driveway.

“Let’s hustle!” She grabbed Flynn’s arm and started walking up the stairs, waving goodbye.

“We weren’t listening!” Reggie said, earning a pinch on the arm from you and a kick to the ankle from Luke. Julie started swatting the air, trying to play it off like there was a bug, and pushed Flynn up the stairs.

As soon as she was gone, you made your way back into the garage. You sat at the piano bench, mindlessly playing the few chords you knew.

“I wonder why Julie didn’t tell us she could shred on the piano.” Reggie said.

“It probably has something to do with her mom.” You guessed, your fingers gliding across the keys.

“Yeah, that must’ve been hard.” Alex added before climbing up to the loft. “I really feel for her.”

“Yeah, but now she’s got music back in her life. Just like us.” Luke said, reaching over and hitting the note next to your finger.

“Yeah, I’m not sure you can call what we have a life.” Alex said and you snorted. “Hey, I think some of our old clothes are up here.”

He threw down a black trash bag filled with clothes and you sighed in relief. The night you died, you wore a plain pair of jeans, and your favorite old t-shirt of your dad’s. You usually wore one when you played a gig, so that a part of him could be with you in some way and of course; Luke’s jacket.

And as much as you loved your outfit, being in the same clothes for 25 years was not exactly sanitary, even by ghost standards.

“Sweet!” Luke exclaimed, taking off his shirt.

Shit!

You tried as subtly as possible to look away before anyone saw the blush on your cheeks, and you thought you had gotten away with it until Reggie laughed from across the room.

You sent him a glare, but that only made him laugh harder.

Suddenly, the studio doors opened again and Julie’s dad came in. He had a sad look on his face and a camera in his hands. It had ‘Ray Molina’ engraved on the handle so you figured that was his name.

The man walked right through Reggie, making him shudder. “That was weird. But somehow I can tell this man has a kind heart.”

“So, how have you been?” Ray asked, his voice heavy.

“Honestly, not that good.” Reggie said and you rolled your eyes. “See, we ate these hotdogs and-”

“Julie sang for the first time again this morning.” Ray took a picture of the room. “She hasn’t done that in almost a year. You would’ve loved it.”

“Yeah, we heard cause we-.” Reggie wiggled his fingers in front of Ray’s face. “Oh, I get it. He's not talking to us."

"Dude, you are so lucky you play bass." Luke said.

"I think he's talking to Julie's mom." Alex sighed.

Ray started walking towards the piano. "She's such an amazing young woman."

He started running his hands on the keys so you slid off the bench. You knew you definitely shouldn't be listening, this was definitely not something you weren't meant to hear but you couldn't help your curiosity. "Everyday she reminds me more and more of you."

"Called it!" Alex cheered.

Ray shifted the camera between his hands. "I'm taking pictures for the real estate website. I don't really wanna move, but...it's what's best for Julie."

Alex came down from the loft and you all crowded around the piano. Luke stared at Ray with wide eyes. "Move?"

Ray gently played a few notes of a ballad before he spoke again. "There's so many memories out here. Like, Julie sitting next to you and Carlos trying to sing with his missing front teeth."

Luke let out a shaky breath and you realized he was crying. It wasn’t until a tear rolled down your cheek that you realized that you were too. You frantically wiped your eyes, doing your best not to break down.

Ray was exactly what you always pictured your dad used to be like, and his love for Julie was exactly the same kind you knew he would've had for you. Thinking about your dad made you think about your mom, and that made trying to stop crying a whole lot harder.

"Come on guys, not you too." Reggie said.

"It's just...he's talking about moving but the poor guy doesn't wanna move." Luke sniffled.

Ray stood up and took a picture of right where you were all standing. "It's like they grew up out here."

Reggie fanned his face. "Now he's got me too."

Alex scoffed. "Okay, how am I the emotional one?"

"Can we go see my family? See how they're doing?" Reggie asked, his voice shaking a little.

You nodded. “Yeah, listening to this doesn’t feel right.”

Just as you go to leave, Ray laughs. "Remember when the kids were at your sisters and we came out here on our anniversary..."

"Yeah, no! " Luke cringed. "Definitely wrong.”

-

The beach was where you spent a lot of your free time when you were alive.

Usually after a long day when you just needed a place to work on new lyrics in peace. But sometimes after playing all day at the pier, the boys would drag you down to the water and you would all stay there as long as possible. Away from parents and responsibilities.

But just like everything else, it had changed so much.

"A bike shack," Reggie sighed. "Right where my house used to be."

"I'm sorry, Reg." You rested your head on Reggie’s shoulder.

"Why couldn't they at least have turned it into something cool like a pizzeria or something?"

"They tore down the whole neighborhood." Alex said.

"I guess my folks are gone."

Alex kicked his foot into the sand. "Everyone's gone. Twenty-five years, gone. Friends, family, Bobby, everyone."

That was another person you hadn't wanted to let yourself think about. Even though you and Bobby weren't super close, he was still a part of Sunset Curve. He could be a little bit of an asshole sometimes but he was still your friend.

"Bobby, that's right." Reggie said. "Guess that vegetarian lucked out. Wonder what happened to him?"

"He probably just got old like everyone else and moved on." Luke grumbled.

"Dude, how are you so chill about all of this?”

“Yeah, don’t you want to figure out what happened?” You asked.

“Let’s be real for a second.” Luke exhaled, clearly getting worked up. “It’s not like any of us were close to our families. My parents always regretted buying me that guitar. Reggie, your parents were literally a fight away from divorce.” 

Luke ran a hand through his hair as he ranted, talking with his hands the way he always did when he was upset. “Alex, I- Your parents were never cool again after you told them you were gay.”

His eyes landed on you and he seemed to ease up a little. “(Y/n), you practically raised yourself since your mom was gone all the time.”

“Yeah, okay.” You said. “None of us had it great.”

“But at least we had something! What do we have now?” Alex shouted. “And before you say cool teleportation, I’m not cool with that either. It tingles. In weird places.”

Luke sprang to his feet. “I’ll tell you what he had. It’s what we’ve had since the day we came together. Guys, we have us. We’re the only family we’re ever gonna need. You wanna know what else we got?”

“I’m gonna guess death breath?” Reggie said.

“Our music, you dork.” Luke laughed. “People can hear us play again! They can’t see us, whatever, but they can feel us. I wish I had my guitar.”

Suddenly, the air around you made a sharp ‘whoosh’ sound and Luke’s six-string appeared in his hands.

“Whoa.” You said.

“How did you do that?” Reggie asked.

“I-I don’t know. I mean I wished for it and then...” Luke played a few chords and beamed.

Reggie jumped in place with his arms open, trying to wish for random things before he eventually gave up and slumped into the sand.

“I think I know what will cheer you up.” Luke said. He played the opening of ‘This Band Is Back’ and you couldn’t help but smile. Out of all the Sunset Curve songs, this was one of your favorites.

“Come on, Reginald.” Alex said as he started hitting his legs and chest to make a beat.

You offered Reggie your hand and pulled him up as Luke started the countdown. Reggie took it and twirled you around, effectively getting sand in your shoes. You laughed and spun him around before dragging him up to the tables in front of the restaurants as he sang.

The people around you seemed confused by the sudden music, but they danced around anyway. You forgot how much you loved seeing people react to your music. Watching them dance and smile made all your worries float away, even if it was just for now.

And for the first time since the Orpheum,

It really did feel like the band was back.

August 1994

It was just after sunset when you called the Patterson house.

The sound of your mom slamming the front door was still fresh in your mind and before you could stop yourself, your fingers were flying across the buttons. Luke was the only person who knew about your relationship with your mom. 

You didn’t want to worry Cece, or Alex, or anyone else. But hiding things from Luke wasn’t easy, especially with how stubborn he was. So you told him everything, and he told you,

‘Call me next time, okay?’

The line only rang twice before someone picked up. “Hello?” 

It was Emily, Luke’s mom.

You took a deep breath, trying to keep from crying. “Hi, Mrs. Patterson.”

Emily laughed and you could practically hear her roll her eyes fondly. “(Y/n), sweetie, what did I tell you about calling me that?”

Even though you and Luke had been friends most of your lives, you had only met Emily a handful of times. Luke didn’t really like hanging out at his house, especially when he started fighting with them regularly. Still, Emily always treated you like her own kid whenever you were around.

“Sorry, Emily.” You said. “Is Luke around?”

You heard some shuffling as she called out for him and after a few minutes, Luke picked up the phone. “Hey.”

“Hi, are you busy?” 

“No, why?” He asked.

“Well, I made enough cookies to feed a small country and my mom’s gonna be gone for the night so I thought we could hang out.” You rambled. “Maybe finish ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark?”

Luke laughed excitedly. “Yeah, sure! Give me like 20 minutes.”

Luke’s laugh was so infectious that you had to fight through a giggle. “Okay, see you soon.”

As you went to hang up, you hear Emily’s voice again. She was teasing Luke about something but all you caught was the word ‘Girlfriend’, making you turn bright red.

You put the phone back on the hook just as the oven beeped to signal that it was ready to bake the cookies. You put them in the oven and turned your attention to the huge bowl of cake batter in front of you. At this point, there wasn’t anything left in the kitchen you hadn’t baked.

There was no way you would be able to eat all of it, even with Luke’s help. But you needed something to distract yourself to keep your mind from overloading.

True to his word, Luke arrived twenty minutes later, bursting through your front door and screaming the Indiana Jones theme song at the top of his lungs. He skipped his way into the kitchen, immediately sensing something was wrong when you didn’t join him or even acknowledge his presence. 

“(Y/n)?” Luke approached you slowly.

“Hey.” You tried to sound as casual as possible, not looking up from the bowl. “So, you ready to finally finish this movie?”

Luke didn’t say anything as he scanned the kitchen. There were piles of cookies and cooking utensils all over the counter, and you had flour in your hair. You could see the realization flash across his face through your eyelashes.

“Okay, you’re baking everything in the house, which can only mean one of two things,” Luke said, his voice becoming more serious as he jumped up on the counter. “You either watched Sixteen Candles unsupervised again or…”

You stayed quiet as you slowly stirred the batter. It was ready to put in the pan ten minutes ago but you needed something to do to distract yourself.

Luke’s hand gently gripped yours before taking the spoon from you and letting it fall into the bowl. You looked up at him to find him already staring at you with a furrowed brow.

Damn it.

You should’ve known he would see through your thinly veiled excuses and promise of cookies. Luke was more observant than people gave him credit for.

“C’mere,” Luke said, opening his arms. You moved between his legs and buried your head in his chest, covering his shirt in tears, flour, and batter. But he didn’t seem to mind as he rubbed circles into your arm with one hand while the other cradled your head.

“She hates me.” You said through a deep, shuddering breath.

“She doesn’t hate you,” Luke reasoned. “It’s impossible for anyone to hate you.”

One of the things you loved about Luke was his protective streak when it came to his friends, and the way that no matter what, he could only see the best in them.

And as his best friend, you were pretty much perfect in his eyes. Which meant that when you didn't immediately agree, Luke launched into a rant.

"First of all, you're like the smartest person in the world. You manage to get good grades while also working at the diner three days a week which is nuts.

Secondly, your voice is insane! And your lyrics, (Y/n), we wouldn't even have half the Sunset Curve songs without your killer songwriting skills!"

"You done, Lu?" You joked as you pulled away just enough to look up at him, trying not to blush. No matter how hard you tried to play it cool when he complimented you, it always made you melt inside.

"I'm just saying," Luke laughed softly. “You are literally the best person I know, Squeaks.”

You let out a watery laugh at the mention of your childhood nickname. It was one that Luke had given to you in 4th grade after he put a bug on your arm and you had squeaked in fear.

“And just think,” Luke whispered, his voice sounding a little wistful. “One day, we’ll get signed to a label and end up somewhere far away from here.”

“We barely started making our demo.” You said, making Luke scrunch his nose in the way that always made you giggle. "Don't you think you're getting a little ahead of yourself?"

“Nope.” He smirked. “Okay, I gotta ask, were you planning on baking this or is this a new look you’re going for? ‘Cause I gotta be honest, it’s not your best.” Luke said teasingly as he swiped some batter from your cheek.

“Oh, really?” You asked, dipping your finger in the bowl and smearing the batter across Luke’s face, making him gasp. Then you took a slight step back and hummed thoughtfully. “Definitely looks better on me.”

“You know what?” Luke scoffed, trying to hold back a smile and before you could blink, he reached into the bowl and flung the spoon at you, splattering your shirt. “I think you’re right.”

“Jerk!” You laughed, wiping off your shirt as Luke tried to lick the batter off his chin but he only managed to make an ever bigger mess.

“Did I get it?” He asked, making you giggle.

“Not quite.” You reached forward and carefully wiped it off, desperately trying to focus on anything other than how close your faces were. But it was impossible when you could feel Luke’s breath on the tip of your nose. “There.”

Luke’s face was unreadable as he looked down at you. The playfulness had evaporated in the air and was replaced with something else that you couldn’t really read either. Just when you thought the moment would last forever, the timer for the second batch of cookies rang through the kitchen, and you practically bolted to the oven.

You pulled them out and put them on a plate. “So, you know that we have to watch Sixteen Candles now, right?”

Luke groaned, pretending to be annoyed. Even though he would never admit it, you knew he secretly loved romance movies. “Fine, but Raiders of the Lost Ark after?”

“Deal.”

As Luke went into the living room to start the movie, you sighed to yourself. Maybe you would never have a normal relationship with your mom.

But you had your band, your friends, and even if it wasn’t exactly in the way you wanted; 

You had Luke.

-

In Life, In Death Taglist:

@ifilwtmfc @instabull @wanniiieeee @tenaciousperfectionunknown @nxacomposts @merceret @itismeasmolpotato @lilostif16

JATP Taglist:

@caitsymichelle13

Let me know if you wanted to be added!

[ashby389]

Let’s get married when we turn 18

So angst tuesday is the theme here we go by the way again it’s a little long please bear with it I cried while writing this

Takemicchi stood in front of Mikey who was sitting on a pile of debris the first thing he noticed about him was how thin he was. Mikey wasn’t the same person he was when he left after defeating Valhalla. He looked resigned bags under his eyes and no light in his eyes. If Mikey is here where is S/O? They were inseparable “Never one without the other” as the quote goes. “Mikey......Have you been well”? he asked. Mikey stared at him there was something wrong the look in his eyes were off some how. “Yeah” was his only reply. Takemicchi started to feel overwhelmed and try as he might he felt the familiar burning behind his eyes. “I’m sorry” he blurted out. Trying to wipe the tears away so he didn’t make more of a fool of himself. “Still the same crybaby you never change huh” said Mikey. (I’m not trying to plagiarize so I’m tweaking a few of the word) Takemicchi looked up at Mikey again he was resting his chin on the palm of his hand with a smile on his face. Takemicchi grinned back at him he was happy to se that smile again. Mikey stood up and put his hands in his pockets he felt the cool metal of the gun he had in one of the pockets. “I brought you here because I need to ask you for a favor ”he said. This confused Takemicchi because normally Mikey either asked Draken or S/O to do things for him. Which again is the question Where is S/O. Naoto had no information on their where about for the last year. “A favor”? he asked. Mikey looked around with a sadder smile. “I brought S/O a couple of times to tell and show her things about Shinichiro it was nostalgic for a time. When we were young we fought we learned things laughed and cried together. That’s how Toman grew” he said with a closed eye smile. Takemicchi stared at Mikey with hope and a smile on his face. Mikey in his eyes was still the same there is no way he killed Mitsuya and the others. The Mikey of now is still the Mikey I got to know in Toman he didn’t change. Mikey looked up at the sky through the opening from above clouds moved so slowly his eyes went blank for a second. “Toman changed so much” he mumbled. This shocked Takemicchi he gave Mikey a confused look. “Huh”? Mikey looked back at him with a smile. “Hey Takemitchy why did you leave Toman? I wanted us to stay together I wanted you to stay with me like a big brother would” “W-w-what”? He left Toman? Why would he- “I tried to fix everything myself without S/O’s help they were stressed enough but I couldn’t control everything. It made me realize I’m never going to be like I was in the past” he said. “Mikey what do you mean”?. Mikey’s hair covered his eyes tht wer filled with the same darkness he used to fight to keep at bay. “ I tried to stop you from leaving Toman but Mitsuya and Draken tried to stop me which was a mistake” he said. (I know im skipping the flash back but yall wanna know what happened to S/O) No no no no no is the only words going through Takemicchi’s head when he realized what that meant. “Those two-” “Were the last.....I’m the one that killed them. The Toman from before is gone I made sure of it ” Does that mean he killed S/O too no way he would never! They were talking about actually getting married when they turned eighteen but Mikey didn’t have a ring or anything. What the hell kind of reality did we create? Thoughts just kept running in his mind. “That’s why I want you to stop me” Mikey walked down from the debris and stood right in front of him. With a smile he said. “Kill me” “What happened to S/O” he asked. A light sparked in Mikey’s eyes but just as quick as it came it was gone. “I want it all to end here. My dream” “Mikey what happened to S/O what did you do to them? I just wanted to see you again and now your asking me to kill you! Where is S/O why aren’t they here with you”? Mikey started to feel his heart shattering the more Takemicchi said their name. It made him remember their smile how they would call him my love unless he was in trouble then it was Manjiro. “Hakkai said the same thing before I killed him. I remember when I first killed someone I felt nothing. It worried S/O they tried over nd over again to get me to talk They stayed with me even after finding out that I killed all of our friends. When I told them that things were easier when you kill those who get in our way” Takemicchi grabbed Mikey’s shoulders and stared at him tears falling. “No it’s not true you haven’t changed S/O would have stopped you they would never have let you do all those things! So why are you talking about murder and all that bullshit! S/O would have- Mikey flipped him over his shoulder slamming him on the ground taking out his gun her pushed it against his cheek and glared down at Takemitchy. “Don’t you get it? I killed S/O” he declared. That shook Takemicchi to his core but if what he said about the others was true. Mikey put another gun next to him. ”Take the gun because if you don’t kill me I will kill you” he said. Mikey had tears in his eyes they fell on his cheeks everything mikey was doing was contradicting with what he told Takemicchi.  “We can’t go back in time no matter how much we want to” BANG!! Mikey felt the burning of the bullet as it went into the side of his head(I don’t know medical stuff so please don’t ding me for this) Mikey blacked out for a couple of seconds he heard someone screaming his name. Opening his eyes again he saw Takemicchi holding him it made him happy not to be alone. “Thank you Tachibana Naoto, Takemitchy wouldn’t have been able to do it....Finally” “Mikey please tell me where S/O is I can call them to meet us” said Takemicchi. Mikey had the saddest look in his eyes as tears fell from his eyes. “They’re gone Takemicchi- “You would never have hurt them- “I lied when I said I killed them but I might as well have” The wound was bleeding more the blood spread down Takemicchi’s fingers onto the dirt floor. Mikey looked to the side Takemicchi’s eyes followed to the spot next to them there was dried blood next to them. How? How didn’t he notice it? Mikey reached out and touched the spot.

                                               FLASHBACK

S/O walked into the same place Mikey and Takemicchi were on the phone. “Listen we don’t have much time left can you do this one last favor for me”? “Yes I know but I need to get Mikey away from them I knew Kisaki was a piece of shit but that other bastard pun intended is worse than him! He’s twisting Mikey up so badly that he doesn’t know left from right” S/O looked at her hand Mikey had proposed to then a couple of nights ago and that solidified their stance they need to leave Japan with Mikey even if they have to drug him. He can be as mad as he wants with them away from the parasites known as Izana  Kurokawa and Tetta Kisaki. “Look if this fails i’ll take the heat for it Mikey might have done horrible things but he would never kill me even if Izana and Kisaki told him too. I gotta go Mikey’s supposed to meet me here soon I’ll broch the topic when I see him for now get everything ready” They hung up sighing it’s for the best after all the bullshit they went though. Clapping came out of nowhere turning they saw said parasites both with big grins Izana clapping. “Wouldn’t have said it better myself unfortunately your right he wont kill you no matter how many times we tell him too” said Kisaki. S/O shrugged putting their phone away. “Being their S/O and best friend since before Draken comes with the territory but tell me something. Have either of you ever had that someone that is your person? That you didn’t have to break to be loyal and love you they just did out of reflex. The one you can always count on to have your back? Someone that will be in the cell next door of you get caught with a plan that gets both of you out or neither of you? That person that will walk through hell with a smile on their face while holding you hand the whole time. Or go to the heavens and laugh with you talking about the good time the bad and the complicated. Your ride or die? Or someone that will always choose you over everyone else no matter what? That is who Mikey and I are to each other so whatever your scheming now to try and break us up again it won’t work. Mikey will never leave me for you” they said glaring at them. The more she spoke the more hatred they had of S/O. Kisaki because of Hinata, Izana because of how deep the loyalty and love Mikey had for S/O. Izana chuckled and stood right in front of them taking a step back S/O was met with a wall they looked up Kakucho Hitto. HE looked sad because at one point they had started to become real friends They glared at Izana. “So you brought your lap dog with you too” they hissed. “Now that’s just mean S/O you might hurt his feelings” said Kisaki with a smirk. “I’m sorry” said Izana looking right in their eyes. This baffled S/O Izana  Kurokawa apologizing it wasn’t just them Kisaki and Kakucho looked confused as well. “I’ve been a terrible brother in law I know it’s a little sudden but now that Mikey proposed maybe we could start over”? he asked smiling. BULLSHIT came to mind Izana always made it very clear that he wanted them gone. At the same time though they had to think about the plan if this was legit it will be easier to get Mikey out. “What are you playing at Izana”? demanded Kisaki teeth clenched enraged. “Shinichiro would have wanted us to get along and be there for Mikey” was the only thing he said. He spread out his arms with a smile. “We should hug it out like families do” he said. They felt movement behind them and they looked at Kisaki he was grinning. S/O felt the air move and heard the crunching of the dirt they moved. Kakucho had a knife in his hand whirling out of the way they spun kicked Kakucho in the rids as hard s they could. Oh the joy they felt when they heard the crunching of his ribs and the snarling pain he felt. S/O made tried to run this was an assassination they realized. They weren’t fast enough Kisaki body slammed then into the dirt dragging them up. S/O kicked wildly screaming as loud as they could trying to elbow Kisaki to let them go. The hope was Mikey would already be near by and would hear that they were in trouble. Mikey had just arrived but he didn’t hear S/O screaming. “Hmm I wonder why wifey wanted to meet here” he asked himself happily. He was so excited finally after waiting all this time since thy were kids he knew that S/O would be the one he would spend the rest of his life with. They would marry have children grandchildren. He knew he didn’t deserve to be happy after all the terrible things he did but he wanted to be selfish and be happy for once after so long. The best part he’s marrying his soulmate cheesy yes but true. He started walking in the building. “Izana please don’t do this to him”! they yelled. Izana walked over to where kakucho was laying glaring down at him Izana picked up the knife. Kakuch scrambled to get up he helped kisaki steady them “No Kakucho please please your not like them! He won’t survive this please” they begged screaming and crying. Kakucho couldn’t meet their eyes a lump forming in his throat and a familiar burn in his eyes. “Wow what a change of heart after that passionate speech S/O” said Izana walking towards them. “Izana please don’t do this Mikey is your brother” they begged. “Yes but like you said he will always choose you over me and I can’t have that. He is my Shinichiro” he said glaring. “The real Shinichiro and Emma would never have wanted this- A horrible burning sensation went through her mid section. They looked down Izana stabbed them pulling out the knife he plunged it in again and again and again. S/O had never seen so much of their blood until now. Kakucho and Kisaki dropped S/O who fell to their knees. Izana held the knife admiring it and the blood. That’s the scene Mikey walked into his heart dropped when he saw S/O drop to the ground coughing up blood. Izana saw mikey still smiling he said. “Hello brother don’t worry everything will be fine now” he said. Mikey ran to S/O falling to his knees he picked them up there was blood everywhere. “We should leave let them say goodbye see you soon little brother I hope now you understand i’m the only family you have left” said izana smirking. Kisaki followed him. Kakucho stood the for a moment and bowed he was so full of regret he thought S/O was a good person but in the end good people in their world never last long. “Hey wifey wake up please” he begged quietly crying. S/O opened their eyes and looked at Mikey. “What took you my love”? “Ha I was asleep i’m sorry baby” he said. “You will always be a child my love that’s what made me fall in love with you that and when you would hold me just like this I always felt safe and protected” thy whispered. “I couldn’t protect you this time” he cried. S/O smiled gently they raised their hand to touch his cheek. “Silly love you couldn’t have known that they would be here” “I should have guessed they always hated you” “Manjiro enough” He looked into S/O’s eyes the bright lights in them dulling. “I want you to promise me three things” they said. Mikey took their hand and kissed their knuckles nodding, “One don’t go after Kisaki or Izana” S/O- “No- they started to cough with more blood. “Okay okay” he said trying to calm them down. “Second Find Takemicchi make sure he is okay I don’t trust them not to hurt him” “Ha of course you would think about the cry baby hero” he said with a watery smile. “He was my favorite after you and Draken I spoiled you three equally....mostly you” “You are my wifey so obligations fall on you” That made S/O smile they loved Mikey so much it just hurts so badly that they didn’t even get married and now they are going to leave Mikey behind. “The last thing”? he asked. “Escape from them leave Japan there is a number on my phone I as going to tell you we should leave together but looks like it’ll just be you this time my love”  Their breathing was getting labored they stopped feeling pain a minute again. “Hey Mikey”? “Yes wifey”? “In our next life let’s get married when we turn eighteen”? He closed his eyes in agony he could hear them as a child in middle school and high school saying it again and again. When he opened them the light in their eyes was gone they had stopped breathing. He held them closer. They were gone. “AHHHHHHHHHHH”!!!!!!!!!

                                          PRESENT TIME

Takemichhi couldn’t breath they murdered S/O infront of mikey. “That was a week ago” “That’s why you wanted me to kill you” he whimpered. “I just want to see their face one more time even if I never see them again after” mikey as crying from a broken soul. “It’s over all my life I have been suffering it was worse when S/O was gone even breathing became it’s own hell” “No Mikey I can change it all I can go back in time and bring S/O back Please don’t say such sad things” Mikey looked to the side and he saw a blur then he saw them with wide eyes. S/O was standing there they were so young in their middle school uniform with a black jacket over their shoulders smiling at him. He looked back at Takemicchi he stopped feeling pain and that was a good thing. With a breathy laugh he leaned closer to takemicchi. “You word comforted me even if they are beautiful lies....your hand is so warm” he said. The next thing Mikey knew he was standing in front of S/O confused but happy he held S/O in one of his octopus hugs like they called them. “You came back” he whispered. Shaking their head they touched his blonde hair. “Huh”? he asked touching his hair. He was in his Toman uniform he spun around and round confused. “My love stop” they giggled. “Wait if your here and I’m a kid again- He looked over and he saw takemicchi holding his body. S/O wrapped their arms around Mikey’s waist pressing their head in his back. “I died” he said. Nodding S/O kissed his back sadly. He turned to them with a sad look in his eyes he wished he didn’t do this to Takemitchy. “You waited for me”? he asked. “As your wifey I have obligations like waiting for your lazy butt” they laughed. He laughed kissing them then deepening the kiss until they couldn’t breath. (I know they died but they aren’t vampires that’s another fic) “ We should go” they said. Mikey hesitated because he knew they might be separated again. S/O scoffed knowing what he was thinking. “Manjiro stop talking” they said “I didn’t say- “Your thinking so loud I’m sure the llorona heard you” (weeping lady) “We aren’t separating not ever again but there are some people that wanna see you they missed you so much but first sit your butt down and let me fix your hair” He complied laughing she pulled his blonde locks back to the way it was before he cut it short. As they stood looked over at Takemicchi, Naoto was comforting him as he cried over Mikey’s body. S/O took his hand and pulled him away there was a huge bright light they looked over at him. “Ready”? they asked. Mikey interlocked their fingers holding tight. “Always” he said happily. “Oh wait no your not” they said. This made Mikey freak out will they separated what what what was he missing!!!. S/O took off the jacket and held it out to him. “Huh”? he asked. “What’s a president and or commander without his uniform”? they asked cheekily. “You brat you scared me “he exclaimed. “You knew I was a brat the moment we started dating and got engaged no take backs” they said wagging their finger at him. He pretended to bite at their finger putting on the jacket. It felt weird wearing it but at the same time it felt right. He grabbed their hand again smiling they pulled him into the light. Mikey opened his eyes and looked a round confused he was standing in the shrine. “S/O what is this”? he asked. He looked around they were gone he started panicking no no no not again he thought. “Oy Mikey” that voice. It made him freeze on the spot. “I think you broke him” said another familiar voice. Mikey turned there stood Draken, Emma, Baji, Chifuyu and the others. He had tears in his eyes but he didn’t care they were here. “My love you look shocked” said S/O pulling a man forward. Shinichiro smiled at his brother he knew the pain Mikey went through and he had so many regrets. “ Hey little brother” he said Mikey lost it he rand and jumped on his brother. The others were watching happily knowing this is the most emotion Mikey has ever displayed in front of them. “It’s alright now stop crying your embarrassing me” Shinichiro laughed. Emma smiled hugging S/O she was so happy to have her family back. When they stood Mikey looked at his friends the ones he killed. “I’m sorry” he said bowing to them. Draken had a tick on his forehead. “Oy Mikey stop apologizing your a president you don’t bow to anyone” he snarled. Mikey froze and looked up they were all smiling at him. He was never more grateful to have a family like this more then this moment. Baji got tired of the mushy stuff and punched Mitsuya on the shoulder. “What the fuck” “Hey I’m happy deal with it”! “You wanna go”! They started fighting in the background. Emma hugged Mikey as tight as she could. “They are both Octopie Octopuses I don’t fucking now but they are” said Draken. “Your right they are it’s cute though” said S/O Draken couldn’t argue there he missed his best friends now they’re all together laughing and just being happy. “By the way my love you only bow to one person” said S/O. Mikey let Emma go and stood in front of them. Emma went next to Draken he rapped an arm around her shoulder both blushing. “Oh yeah who is that”? he asked pulling them close. “Me” the said kissing him. Wolf whistles and cat calls is all they got separating. He held them from behind resting his chin on their shoulder. “My love”?  “Hmmm yes wifey” he looked at them “Let’s get married when we turn eighteen”            Fin

[straighttohellbuddy]

World building is the best tbh. I’m forever world building and now I have several worlds to play in and my neurodivergent brain cannot stay still enough to focus on one lmao. SLOWBURN ROMANCES ARE MY LITERAL JAM LIKE PLS!!! I LOVE THEM!! Also!!!! Concepts!!!! Pls share!!!! I love learning about the worlds of my fave fics and I can hands down say right now that this fic will literally shoot to the top of my list of favourites which means you’ll occupy the top three spots. Sorry to hear that ur feeling rough, so am sending u the biggest hug. I’m not okay but I’m taking care of myself today so that I will be 🧡-🐈‍⬛

alsjfsldkjf i have too many worlds TBH, literally one of the best parts of my 2020 was writing for the classic rock fandom and writing one of my good friend’s ocs alongside mine, like there’s so many different worlds that our two characters have now, i’m like 26k deep into a high school au that i need to get back to at some point, and then i wrote a oneshot abt the high school au but they’re adults, and then there’s also the original timeline, and then there’s the present day in the original timeline where they have kids and i probably care too much about people who aren’t real...... hahaha

OKAY OKAY OKAY HERE WE GO I’LL GIVE KIND OF AN OVERVIEW OF THE ALBUMS AND A FEW SONGS BUT IF U WANT ME TO GO IN DEPTH ON ANY OTHER SONG JUST ASK!!!

yes i have a playlist for each, if you wanna hear how i interpret the vibes of the songs. if you interpret them differently, thats awesome!! i’d love to hear y’all’s opinions on them!!

testing one two - the first ep they release, the song titles are mostly themed (fast forward, press play, pause, rewind), but are mostly things y/n has been working on for a while but never got around to finishing, things they are rather proud of. i see you shiver with... is the first song they wrote specifically for the album, and it’s the last song on the EP because it’s a Rocky Horror reference; i see you shiver with...

a n t i c i p a t i o n - first full album!! the vibe is Hopeful But Hesitant it has all the songs from the ep, plus some new ones!! collabs with youtube musicians troye and dodie, and y/n’s label sets up a collab that turns into a genuine friendship. the breakout dance hit is what else is there to say ft. Troye Sivan, which is about not knowing what to make content about when it feels like you’ve already told the world everything. it featured the prechorus and hook

You, know, ev-ery-thing about me / gave it all for free / my life in HD / So, let’s dance, let me see your hips sway / we’re gonna be okay / what else is there to say?

So say that you love me, say that you love me, say that you love me / let’s die hand in hand. / I’ll tell you I love you, tell you I love you, tell you I love you / supply and demand. 

personally, i also conceptually enjoy srs bsns which is a really upbeat song about how they don’t care if people don’t take them seriously because they know in their heart that what they’re doing is good

hyperfocus - 2nd EP, a pretty substantial departure from their usual style, but also happens to quietly be Corpse’s favourite, and is actually y/n’s most polarising, because it has both the Grammy award winning HEARTBURN and the o brother where art thou which was written partially as a joke to capture a fond moment of them and 5SOS dicking around together in a hotel. written while on tour wit 5SOS, im writing the reader as having ADHD (because I have ADHD and i can do what i want), and the backstory is that they’d changed the medication/dosage they were taking, and as it’s their first full tour, they were under a lot of stress and were in a weird place mentally and emotionally, and hyperfocus is the result of that. i’m going through some stuff has HUGE agoraphobic vibes. 

HEARTBURN has the same vibes as Florence + The Machines’ Howl. It’s about being a demon without saying that or directly implying that unless you know demons real well. This is when the pressure for them to confirm their identity got real bad, and it was their way of working through those emotions.

tear in existence in the shape of a person / when i’m seeing clearly i can’t see myself / world can’t swallow what it can’t get it’s teeth into / got everything i wanted but i ain’t got my health

Got heart-burn--- / I’ll tear me apart / I’ll tear you apart / I’ll tear me apart. 

SCREAM gets rereleased as a remixed single featuring Fall Out Boy the following year. It won the MTV music award for best collaboration in 2018. 

In the time between hyperfocus and working on it, Y/N releases several singles, including a cover of Tell Him by The Exciters to be featured in To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. They also take time to sort out their health, do a little bit more YT stuff, and travel internationally to do festivals. 

working on it - is kind of a middle ground between their original stuff, and hyperfocus, like pop-punk meets horror-pop meets whatever you’d classify halsey as. the first three songs were mostly written before the fic starts, so before they’re getting back to YT, but the last three, nightmare scenario, designed to hurt (touch me), and not scared were all written after they’d started hanging out with sykkuno and corpse. 

in-universe, imposter syndrome was originally something else, along the same lines of tired that they’re hiding that they’re a demon, but after meeting corpse nd sykkuno and having people who know, and lowkey being influenced by corpse’s music, the song changes directions, and YO OKAY YO::

I literally am so fucking flattered, my darling friend @bingusmode​ wrote lyrics for imposter syndrome and I’ve been yELLING about them ever since i’ve read them!! (also bunnie is fantastic and lovely in general 10/10)

if you thought you saw me 

i’d think about it twice

cuz while i know i’m naughty

everybody thinks i’m nice

cutest giggles get me

places that i long to be

but it’s not long before

everybody hates me

when you figure out i’m fucked up

you’ll probably think that can’t be right

but babe my image runs to save me

cuz i’m ugly day and night

nothing good about me

not the angel that i seem

cuz i’m a piece of shit

and i’ll ruin your fuckin dreams

i’m an impostor babe

you better run for your life

cuz there’s a bloodlust runnin through me

and you’re dripping off my knife

there’s no one here to save you

cuz you ate up all my lies

so beg me while you can

and draft up all your goodbyes 

if any of y’all are inspired by anything i put out, feel free to take it and run!! you have my blessing!! i am so overwhelmingly flattered by people who like my stuff enough to create because of it, directly or indirectly! lyrics, art, songs, anything!! legit! I love you!!

okay so designed to hurt (touch me) has big House of Memories by Panic! At The Disco vibes, and YES it’s about Corpse. YES it sends mixed messages. YES it has greek myth imagery and YES that imagery is confusing. not sure if any of these sets of lyrics actually go after each other but also idk??

will my fall from grace be graceful / as each move i see you make? / propped up on pedestals side by side / beneath our feet they shake / i’m the only one to hear you ask  / “What have they done to me?” / My boy, your wax throne is sun-drenched / you’ll fall in the name of your legacy.

eyes like yours watched rome burn / while hands like mine lit the pyre / we both heard me say we’d go down in flames / now you’re turning me into a liar / since you smile like that, like you can’t feel the sting / and we both know i can’t feel the fire

been telling myself i’m designed to hurt / but, baby, aren’t we a sight? /

check your reflection, your angles, apollo / you’re icarus in the right light /

we’re on the edge, i’m not scared to fall / we’ll take refuge in the night /

been telling yourself you’re designed to hurt / but, baby, doesn’t this feel right?

also, albumtouralbumtour is a reference to Bohemian Rhapsody.

OKAY AND FINALLY

n o s t a l g i a - the album the reader’s working on during the fic.

literally as i was writing this, bunnie sent through some FIRE lyrics for how the light gets in, (@bingusmode) i am going to be thinking about these on REPEAT for the next MONTH BRUV

little bit of darkness, treat me like a toy 

i got my hopes up and got them destroyed

bitter taste of regret sitting heavy on my tongue

can’t believe i let you convince me that you were the one

sitting here in silence, fabric running thin

petals burning in my lungs and stealing oxygen

embers from a cigarette falling to the floor

god i can’t take anymore

so i stumble to the window and pull the shades

and the moon pours in like you threw a grenade

i can’t understand why

i keep trying

cuz i never seem to win

but having any hope is how the light gets in 

from there, moment before impact ft. Billie Eilish is a club anthem along the lines of bad guy or COPYCAT, bass heavy with a drop that’s out of this world.

powdered pain, i’m in your veins / i’m the sting, the drip, the thing / you’re craving, but you hate to see me misbehaving / i heard my breakdown got you high / it’s true, but baby i can’t lie / i never got that rush, that burn / that makes you feel alive, i had to learn / to pick the slippery slope down which i fell / plan my pitstops on the way to hell / to pick my padding before i spiral / so if i break it’ll be in style

watch my misdirect, now freeze, / notice you can’t see the forest for the trees / you’re so desperate for my demise / but baby, i’ll make you watch me rise.

this is the moment before impact

controlled chaos, crash land / take a breath, trust the plan / i know you hope i’m not okay / you get off on my audio misery

controlled chaos, crash land / take a breath, trust the plan / i need you to know i want it this way / my breakdown won me a grammy

and this is the moment before impact

ur my favourite - interlude ft. sykkuno is probably one of my favourites, it’s just really soft, just a snippet of a conversation between the reader and sykkuno, maybe one of them told a joke and they both just sound real happy and sweet. its nice. it’s a nice moment.

means something is also for sykkuno!! it’s about how good-strange it is to be open and honest with friends, and how they usually aren’t but they’re glad they can be open and honest with him!!

meanwhile, i don’t think about u - interlude ft. CORPSE is a phonecall between corpse & the reader right after they announce they’re going to feature on acting like that, where corpse asks if they do this sort of thing to spite him, to which the reader responds ‘do i consider you when i’m making decisions about my career? no, corpse, actually i don’t think about you at all’ which then directly contrasts the song that ends the album, which is (how it feels to be) beautiful fireworks, which is essentially ‘i know how hard it is to exist like this, to be the centre of attention, to give off light and bring people joy, even when you’re in pain. i’m here for you. i love you.’

okay, i swear im done now, i’ll get back to writing the fic! (also i cannot BELIVE i managed to figure out how to embed those playlists but im so happy) edit: it didn’t actually work when i posted the ask, so anyways im sorry but y’all are abt to be spammed with playlists because i care too much abt this fic

[spockandawe]

Oh, would you look at that, is it fish book pitch o’clock again? IT SURE IS!!

So, here’s my angle du jour. I’m a sucker for a feral and/or unsocialized fictional character, especially if the story puts them in a position where they either need or want to catch up to their peers on the social front. I didn’t really click with Jin Zixuan until I saw a post breaking down how his awkwardness made a lot of sense in terms of growing up isolated and undersocialized, and I really love takes on young Lan Wangji that really lean into him not knowing how to play with the other children. It’s more fanon than canon, given screentime, but I love takes on Mobei-jun that do the same thing. And! Outside of the cnovel world altogether, it’s part of why i would Die for both Gideon Nav and Harrowhark Nonagesimus. It’s so tasty! 

And Jing-wang is a version of this that I don’t think I’ve seen before. I’ve had this bouncing around in my head for a while, but I can’t quite come up with any parallels. Jing-wang grew up isolated in one way because he was an imperial prince, with a dead mother and no surviving siblings. The boy doesn’t have many peers, and things are... messy with his half-brothers. But since he’s mute, he’s (theoretically) not in the running for the throne, and he’s not involved in as much political wheeling and dealing as the other princes. And also since he’s mute, communication with other people is a bit of an ordeal, and only a few people who are very close to him are good at interpreting him, outside of him writing things down. I get the idea that he does very well for himself at understanding and steering the political playing field, even if he’s not mixed up deeply in things himself, but he’s.... very not good when it comes to connecting with anyone on any kind of personal level.

But what delights me the most is that this mainly gets expressed through him being 1) a very devoted and well-meaning pet owner, 2) who is very BAD at being a pet owner.

It gets expressed in little funny ways that go by quickly, like in a stressful meeting, where Jing-wang is squeezing Li Yu’s back in a self-soothing way, and Li Yu is like ‘ow, OW, TOO HARD’ and swims away, and Jing-wang is like >:( for two seconds before Li Yu comes back and starts swimming through his fingers again, and Jing-wang realizes he was squeezing too hard. Or later on, after Li Yu’s been living in a huge tank, Jing-wang is like ‘okay, you live in this bottle now, so i can bring you Everywhere with me’ and Li Yu has to fake being unwell so that Jing-wang realizes that the bottle is way too small to be a permanent fish residence. Very quick little empathy things, where Jing-wang gets the intended message pretty darn quickly, but he still had to be taught the lesson in the first place.

But there’s also like... also early on, Li Yu gets a side quest to steal a pearl from the headdress of the Emperor’s favorite concubine. In the process of doing so, he soaks Jing-wang in front of the Emperor, accidentally slaps the concubine in the face, freaks her out, freaks her son out, accidentally frames the two of them for trying to hurt Jing-wang’s pet fish, and knocks the pearl loose... but sends it to the floor. Fortunately, Jing-wang notices that the fish seems REAL interested in this pearl, and retrieves it, but he’s also pissed at the fish for causing so much trouble.

So what does he do? He’s like ‘OKAY. FINE. You want this pearl? Well what I’m going to do is seal this pearl TIGHT inside a glass vial, and then I’m going to put that vial RIGHT in your tank, so you can see the pearl, but you can NEVER HAVE IT’, you know, like a normal human way to treat your pet fish. Only then, Li Yu had already felt bad about causing such a big scene, and sets up a whole apology where he offers Jing-wang his food (because it’s the only thing he has) and tries bowing in apology, and Jing-wang thinks something like ‘...as long as someone was willing to deal with him sincerely, even if they were a fish, he would treat them sincerely in return’ and he gives Li Yu the pearl.

First of all, I never knew I so desperately needed a book where a man tries to play psychological games with his pet fish, second of all, Li Yu is the sketchiest “““fish””” of all time, and third, oh my god Jing-wang how sheltered are you, how do you not realize that this is nowhere in the vicinity of being normal fish behavior??

(to be fair to him, it doesn’t take him that long to realize things are suspicious, and by the thirty-somethingth chapter he has a decent hypothesis for what the fock is going on with his pet fish)

And later in the book, after he knows that this fish is at least sometimes human-shaped, I’d already been pleasantly taken by surprise (in the mtl chapters) to realize that the relationship development involved Li Yu laying down boundaries and holding Jing-wang accountable when he tried getting around them. And like with the squeezing plot point, Jing-wang is very quick to get the message that something he did made this fish/person unhappy, to realize that he doesn’t want them to be unhappy, and to make a very serious effort to change his behavior so he doesn’t make that mistake again. I just hadn’t quite connected the dots to realizing that Li Yu was coaching him through a number of basic emotional development steps even before things reached the point of sex and consent, haha

(in fairness to me, I think Li Yu is extremely oblivious to all of this. which is one of my favorite flavors of character development in fiction, honestly? i love seeing this growth that’s driven by another person, but unintentionally so, so that two people end up drifting closer and closer, and becoming more and more important to each other, without that ever being something they deliberately work towards)

And I think that the idea that Li Yu is coaching Jing-wang through the steps of emotional growth is honestly supported by the other characters in the novel. In the “original” book, Jing-wang falls in love with and marries Chu Yanyu, who very definitely is not in love with him, and is happy to let Jing-wang get hurt and suffer on his behalf, through what sounds like a very unhappy, toxic relationship. In the book we get, all it takes is a little affection and attention from a pet fish, for Jing-wang to totally ignore what should have been Chu Yanyu’s entry into his life, and for him to continue ignoring Chu Yanyu no matter how many times he’s thrown/throws himself into Jing-wang’s path.

Jing-wang does have some people who care about him, but those relationships are... either unequal, or not-mutual, or made difficult in other ways. The Emperor cares about him, but has complicated feelings, since the Empress died shortly after Jing-wang’s birth, where she was already in poor health after losing two other sons, and it seemed like her health got worse after Jing-wang was born mute. The Emperor also tries not to pay him too much attention, because he’s ineligible to inherit the throne anyways, and paying him attention would make him more of a political target. Jing-wang’s main servant, Wang Xi, cares about him deeply, and is the most reliable interpreter for his nonverbal communication, but is also a servant, not a peer. And Jing-wang’s cousin (on his mother’s side) likes him a lot, but their temperaments are highly incompatible, and Jing-wang tends to get annoyed and throw him out when he comes to visit. (the rest of his mother’s family cares about him too, but Jing-wang isn’t a social beast, and doesn’t make himself terribly accessible either)

And like, early, early in the book, at that stressful meeting where Jing-wang squeezes the fish too hard, before things get stressful, the Emperor is completely derailed from the initial purpose of the meeting, because he’s so pleased that Jing-wang has something he cares about, even if it’s just a little pet fish. He continues to be increasingly pleased with this fish as the book goes on, and it’s both hella charming, but also very :( for what it says about how detached Jing-wang was from the world for the last twenty years of his life. And as of chapter 27, Li Yu is trying to meddle with the book plot to save Jing-wang’s cousin from a scheme that will ultimately see him dead, and Jing-wang just agreed to go with his cousin to the imperial palace, to keep an eye on him. And Wang Xi is so moved by this outreach from Jing-wang that he legit tears up. 

Jing-wang is so isolated! Jing-wang is able to play politics, but he does not know how to deal with other people on a friendly social level, and Li Yu is accidentally helping him catch up! I was invested purely on the basis of ‘oh my godddd, jing-wang loves his fish so much,’ which he absolutely does, taking care of his fish is basically his number one priority, but that’s not nearly all there is to this situation! I’m so excited to read the chapters covering the initial relationship development as translated by a human, rather than a machine, because I just know there’s tasty, tasty emotional content in there. 

I could have been totally happy with a book where Jing-wang remained cold and detached with one (1) exception, and that’s a relationship paradigm I totally enjoy reading, but seeing Li Yu accidentally teach him to open up and form attachments to other people too is so rewarding and I love it! I know later on, his cousin is falling in love at the same time he is, he has more dealings with his father, and his mother’s family enters the scene here and there, and I badly need to read it. This is just the best comfort food I could have asked for right now. It’s a lovely balance of cute, moving, and absolutely ridiculous, and has character development more gripping than I could have ever expected. I love it so much, you guys ;u;

[diariesof-kg]

Love & Order.

08_01_2021

I am bothered that I keep having dreams about this person. I am confused why my mind is going in reverse.  Why my mind creates these visuals of us happy and being together when that could never be.  Perhaps it’s the illusion of the mind.  Perhaps my dream is the reality of false hopes.  It’s strange and I need it to stop.  There are moments that I do miss, I can be honest about but I feel as those the rush of disappointments erased all of that.

I do embrace the dreams because they are true feelings that I had. I really loved and cared about her deeply.  It is extremely hard to make me fall in love.  I don’t rush into using the word love either.  I have to feel it on a spiritual level before it leaves my mouth.  I am at most disappointed with myself though. I reflect a lot and think, girl, you were blinded because you left a lot of people behind for things they did to you and you couldn’t see any of this coming.  But relationships are complicated as usual.  The last time we had a disagreement, was when she was doing my hair.  And I remember I just got over it quick and asked for a kiss.  And that was the end of it.  There are positive reasons why I stayed although it felt toxic as hell.  I had experienced things I didn’t experience in my past relationships.  I legit slept on the couch, floor after an argument from my past.  I legit couldn’t get a hug or kiss. It was bad and so part of me was getting something different and I stayed.  There were positive moments.

After the court proceedings, I reflected on what was said.  She said she bit me to get me to leave.  But I was bit outside of your residence and it wasn’t a nibble, it was cuts in my arms and a nasty bruise that looked gross overtime.  That statement made me sick to my stomach.  It just reminded me of victims in domestic violence situations get blamed for them being harmed.  She admitted to it, but still didn’t apologize.  It was disgusting.  This is why I will speak on what happened to me to the masses.  Because there are so many victims who live in silence, because of how conditioned they have become from their partners.  Like when she told me her friend slit her wrist and wrote I love you all over the girlfriend walls because they were breaking up.  What excuse is that?  What if your friend killed her girlfriend, you are going to blame the dead? She shouldn’t have broken up with someone crazy, then she’d be alive.  This is truthfully sick.  It makes sense why your friends are your friends and why as a flock of pigeons, neither one of you really held each other accountable.  Her and her friends find excuses to one’s actions and blames the victims.  That’s honestly scary.  I am lowkey scared for my life now.  I mean wow.  And then the person who paid you to mail drugs or what have you told you the police was coming and to not come home.  I should report his ass. LOL.  He part of the problem too.  You have a whole ring device to avoid the police from your recreational activities. Oh boy.

I am at peace though.  I feel refreshed after everything that has happened.  I wish I could date someone else, but I am stuck, well my soul is stuck on the person who betrayed me.  I am patiently waiting for everything to resolve itself, so that I can move on and be with someone else.  I feel like the timing and the universe will work itself out.  I honestly love the Buffins.  The way they built their foundation and their relationship is goals.  They both have great work ethics and indulge in each other.  I know where they are with each other took a lot of time, but when you know that person is your forever I am going to have to assume something silently dings.  I thought she was my person too, but somehow I was wrong.  Still upset with myself about that.  I even thought, what if all this blows over and we reunite but then I think to myself, she told a federal employee that I stole her identity.  I just can’t forgive that.  That’s really dangerous to lie like that.  You walking around Los Angeles telling lies like that.  I work for the government how gross can you get.  You could make up any lie on me but that is too far.  Even the lawyer was shocked and was like, you work with so many people, why would you choose her.  Especially when they ask if she has a job or monies.  They trying to understand the motive here.  Like that is disgusting.  That’s part of my story too.  Like I said, someone else is for me.  A soulmate.  A lifetime partner.  I just have to be patient enough.  I want to move in with my partner and travel together.  I want to propose the whole nine.

So before everything hit the fan, I had this plan to ask her to be my gf.  The only person that knew of this was my bff Nay.  I had told her to ask her what kind of ring she likes and all these questions.  I started taking her out on random dates just to see how things could go.  I had bought a ring, lordt nobody knows, because they’d all kill me. Lol.  But I did.  You can even check my bookmarks.  Even when I was planning Big Sur, it was all part of the plot.  I remember trying to figure out how to get her out of the resort room to set this all up.  I even reached out to a planner.  I am very romantic when it comes to showing my partner love.  I don’t believe in showing it upfront all the time, because its cliche.  I even had the idea of at my house.  It was a thing.  And this was being planned since December.  I think my bff did ask silver or gold and my bff said silver.  It was bound to happen regardless of us being on bad terms, because I never give up on what I truly feel.  But parts of me is glad I saw those tweets.  Because I would have been a dumbass bish looking real stupid.  I mean I still looked stupid because I was loyal and not being flirtatious to others. I am still upset at my damn self to be honest.

I wake up everyday feeling great, because I can replan it for someone else.  I can fall in love with someone else.  I can spoil someone else who will truly love and care about me.  Who is secure within themselves and open.  That is what keeps me going.  Even though I felt broken after April 30th, I told my therapist no one will ever want me.  And I cried for a week.  I look back and think damn I survived that.  Someone will accept me as damage goods and understand my past.  I do believe it will happen soon.  It’s difficult being that covid has made its rounds again.  But I took time from work to refocus on a few things.  My room is almost done.  Its going to be like a spiritual room when you walk in.  You can meditate, write on the board of things you want to let go of and then it’s just that.  I my friends to feel at peace when they come in.  I know it seems strange but that’s how I want my condo to be as well.  Like a zen vibe.  I am just waiting for more stuff to be delivered.  I am excited about that.  I have not have the urge to hop back on any dating sites.  I do feel different about myself.  I have never had trust issues at all.  And now I do.  I am definitely scared to get to know someone or allow them to know me.  It’s not a good feelings at all.  But I do want to be with someone by 2022.  I want to share a life with someone.  There is no rush but I for one don’t want to be past 35, still can’t be in a relationship.

Parts of me is sad though too.  Because we would look at million dollar homes and in my head, I knew how simple it would to get it.  But like spiritual z said, you can’t protect her anymore and I have to move on and get out of this cycle.  But I do want to settle down by 2022.  I want to get this townhouse or condo and then a Tesla.  And then whomever is interested can have the choice as we get serious to move in with me or we get a place together.  All about communication and commitment and I am ready for that.  But also, I have to close this chapter.  Which means after telling my story to the blogs, the groups etc. and I am fully healed, I know the universe will be ready to send me someone by the end of the year.  I am honestly excited, because I am definitely going to take my future bae on a vacation by the 5th date.  I am not playing this time.  I have the means to do it, so why not.  I saved up enough for anything I desire at this point.  Plus thank you MTV and VH1.  Thank you for all the bookings honestly.  

To end this blog, I will post the responses I received after the domestic violence occurred.  I posted this anonymously to avoid being flooded in my inbox.  But it made me feel better about the situation, especially when you are torn. 

Until next time...

[taliel-strykidz]

Too Far

(Lmao Bao is so dramatic I just can’t.) 

"Ah Bao, sit down please. We need to discuss something with you and Seungcheol." She had been stood at the door anxiously waiting to be called in, pacing back and forth trying to think of what she would have been called in so urgently for.

"I-Is everything okay?" She almost cursed herself for stuttering as she took the seat opposite Seungcheol, who refused to look her in the eye.

"Lately we've noticed a decline in your work. The fans think your mind isn't one hundred percent on the group and are bringing them down with you." Bao's face twisted into an expression of confusion and turned to Byeong-su who too hadn't looked her in the eye since she'd sat down. "You haven't made the deadline for the album either."

Bao had a look of disbelief on her face as she let the words sink in and frantically shook her head. "No Oppa, I promise I gave them to Jihoon last week to send to you."

"Bao i'm not here to sit and argue with you. Han Sung-Soo sent me to collect your ring."

"W-What you're not having my ring."

"I know you were working hard Bao, there's no way to say this but it was either we take your ring or you get your contract terminated."

Seungcheol plucked up the courage to look up from his own ring and sighed. Almost everything hit him at once, the look on her face made him crumble but he wasn't one to talk back to anyone of authority even if that meant Bao leaving the group or having her ring taken.

"That's a bit zero to one hundred don't you think? You're not having my ring- I belong in this group so you're not taking me out either over something that isn't true."

"Li Bao, there wont be a way you can continue in this group."

Bao's heart felt as if it was plucked out and stomped on the floor in front of her, she continued playing with the ring on her finger ignoring the out stretched hand that her manager gave for her to hand it over.

"Think of it this way, you can go solo and go at your own pace. Apparently being in a boy group is too hard of a task for you to keep up with." If it had not have been for the years of friendship Bao and Seungcheol have together she was sure that she would have flew over the table and smacked him, she didn't understand why he wasn't defending her considering he had seen how hard she had worked to stay in this group, and now he wasn't saying anything?

"You should know more than anyone that going solo isn't my type of scene Byeong-su." She bit back the side comment she had at the tip of her tongue before staring into Seungcheol's eyes. "I'm not sure about what Seungcheol thinks about it anymore, but i've worked long and hard to be a member of this group. I think I deserve to be here."

Silence.

"Cheol, say something."

Silence.

"Oh do you want me to pack my bags and leave too? Why aren't you saying anything?" She looked to him with a face full of betrayal, did he actually not 100% believe she should be int he group?

Seungcheol looked drained. "No, but I think you should just give him your ring and it be over with."

"Are you joking?"

"Bao-"

"SURPRISE!"

The boys came in screaming one by one, their two members looking at them in confusion. Soon her team came in and Byeong-su looked wary, something much deeper than a prank had emerged out of this and he didn't think the boys had realised what was actually going on.  Bao covered her face with her hands trying to stop the frustrated tears from falling until she looked up at Seuncheol who looked baffled.

"You wouldn't have said anything to fight my case would you?" She mumbled finally realising that Seungcheol wasn't in on the prank and that really hurt. He genuinely wouldn't have said anything.

"Noona it's a prank-" Hoshi was the first one to speak trying to lighten the mood, but things were turning sour that badly that Jeonghan had requested to turn the cameras off.

"This isn't a funny one though is it? I legit prank you with throwing water on you. Imagine being told you were being kicked out of a group, in a foreign country with no one to rely on because your only family in that country didn't fight for you to stay. Who's horrible idea was it to-"

"Ours." Jun and Minghao added in looking guilty.

"You two out of everyone should know this isn't funny - And you.." She sent an angry finger toward her bestfriend. "Tell me that you knew."

"Aein, (Sweetheart)

Given the amount of years that Seungcheol and Bao had known eachother it was very clear that was his genuine reaction. No amount of pet names or sucking up would make up for the fact that he didn't know it was a hidden camera and didn't fight her side.

"Now and forever huh? Funny hearing that."

The boys sat around the two listening to how betrayed Bao sounded, they were as pale as chalk realising they'd opened a can of worms .

Dino was the first to move, watching what she was about to do, trying to stop her from taking the ring off of which she did regardless of the heartbroken looks of the boys around her  and placed it in front of the leader.  In that moment Bao looked like that little girl he once remembered back before they debuted, the one that refused affection when inside she was craving love. In that moment they were both crying. To say sorry for not 100% being loyal to her would be like covering a bullet hole with a band-aid. Breaking Bao's trust and apologising  is like breaking her and expecting everything to be fixed.

"Noona, don't-" Seokmin mumbled in shock. but Jeonghan shook his head and told him to let her finish.

"Reward loyalty with loyalty and disloyalty with distance, it isn't a grey subject. It's black and white, you're either loyal completely or not at all. And I hope you learn the meaning of it Choi Seungcheol, because I guess you can give it me back when you're 100% sure you can say you want me in this group."

"Bao don't be like this, he was just scared." Jeonghan voiced up.

"Its not just about a prank though is it Oppa? It's better to be hung for loyalty than be rewarded for betrayal."

"Princess-"

"But yeah real fucking funny, I hope you got the footage because that's the last time you'll do it to me."

[realityhelixcreates]

Beta, Theta, and Me

Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Thor (Movies), Avengers (Movies) Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: PG Warnings: Swearing, Homelessness,  Relationships: Loki x Reader (But not right now) Characters: Tony Stark, Thor(Marvel), Loki(Marvel) Additional Tags:  A/B/O, Sorta, More Of An Exploration Of Life And Self Expression Within An A/B/O Framework, Loki Does What He Wants, But Loki Does Not Actually Do What He Wants, Antagonistic Bosses, Managerial Differences

Summary:  As it becomes clearer that your immediate superior hates you, and clearer that Tony needs to put someone somewhere else, you get caught up in things that are way above your paygrade.

“Mr. Stark!”

“And now I gotta deal with this.” He muttered, closing a holo-screen and whirling in his rolling stool to face her. “Florence! Surprised to see you. Isn't there somebody else to see to whatever problem you have?”

“It has to do with that new hire, Whom you forced on us. Since it has to do with her, I bring it to you.”

“Hey, do I pay you for sass?”

“No, you pay me because I am the best at what I do. I mean to continue doing it.” She slapped a paper down in front of him.

“I don't like being handed-”

“That's why I didn't.” She tapped the paper. It was an application. “She has falsified information. Look.”

He looked. He couldn't help it. Florence reminded him altogether too much of one of his old nannies. He could never disobey that woman either.

On the application, next to Secondary Gender, you had scrawled not the usual α, β, or Ω, but a θ instead.

“Maybe...it's a sloppy Beta? Like just a really sloppy B?”

“Except she writes a perfectly legible B later on. Also, this address is false. No one lives there, it's a storage center. I wouldn't put money on that phone number being legit either. On top of that-” She said, cutting Tony off. “I have caught her filching food from the employee cafeteria.”

“Oh yeah? What did she take?”

“Creamers, jelly, crackers, and salad dressing packets.”

“So...all the stuff we offer for free?”

“With purchase of something else.” Florence sniffed. “Also, I caught these this morning.”

She held her phone out, showing slightly blurry pictures of a person who might be you climbing out of the dumpster behind the building.

“Okay, that doesn't necessarily prove anything.”

“And I've caught her sleeping around the building.”

“On the clock?”

“On breaks, and sometimes before her shift.”

“So, not on the clock.”

“Sir, she is breaking the law!”

“Well, so did you when you took that picture without her consent. I don't tolerate spying on my employees.”

“Sir!”

“What's the real problem here, Florence? That she's homeless? Don't we want them to go get jobs? Then suddenly she's got one, and you're like, no not like that?”

“I just don't understand why you are rewarding a stranger for breaking the rules. Indecent exposure in the bathroom, and you give her a job. Lying on her application, and you defend her. You don't even know this girl, you don't know why she was on the street, what warrants might be out for her, what problems she might have, what havoc she might cause. That nonsense symbol on her gender identification alone shows she's not taking this seriously!”

“Theta.” He murmured.

“Pardon?”

“It's not nonsense, it's a Theta. It's just another letter. We use it in mathematics all the time; it means there's an angle.”

“Is she trying to tell us she's crooked?” Florence demanded.

“She's probably just a Beta who thinks secondary gender inquiries are an invasion of privacy. It's all the rage among the young people these days. In any case, just keep her on for a week or two. If she's gonna wash out, you'll know by then. It'll give you the chance to do a few more interviews. You're still looking for extra help, right? You've got permission, go on ahead and do it. Two, three more people.”

“Well...Alright.” Florence said, mollified. “Thank you sir.”

“You know I got your back. But we gotta shake things up every now and then, keep things fresh. Get in people from all walks of life, keep in touch with the pulse of society, all that. Now run along, dear. You've got a ship to keep shape, don't you?”

“That I do, sir.” Florence left, forgetting the application behind her. Tony held the paper up, examining it. Fake address for sure, and likely the number was for a burner phone. Age, education, and work history looked legit. There was a year and a half gap between your last job and this one: it probably marked the amount of time you'd been on the streets.

A Theta symbol. Why that, specifically?

“You're not too fond of Florence, are you?” F.R.I.D.A.Y. asked.

Tony shrugged. “Not really, but she's damn good at her job. That's all I really need from her. Would you do me a favor and look up gender expressions pertaining to Theta? There's a lot of new terminology I need to get caught up with. This might be one of them.”

                                                                                  *****

You sneaked another sugar packet from the ground floor coffee shop, fully aware that the amused barista was watching, and didn't care in the slightest.

You sprinkled a tiny bit into a little container of coffee creamer, then knocked the whole thing back like some kind of shot.

Everybody knew now that you worked here, and if they speculated about your bizarre eating habits, none of them said anything to you about it.

As long as you didn't break any rules, nobody seemed to care.

Fine by you. Even though they were small, simple snacks; salad crackers with tiny packets of jelly, butter, and salad dressing, sugar, salt and pepper packs, creamers, ketchups, mustards, and mayonaise, these were quick and easy sources of calories that hadn't been readily available to you before.

Having a fresh uniform each day was kind of amazing. Florence insisted that all uniforms be cleaned and disinfected properly, which meant they all got left behind at the end of the day, and were clean by morning. It had the added bonus of no one seeing you wearing a Stark-affiliated uniform while you were sleeping on the fire escape, or hanging around near the dumpsters outside

You weren't exactly friends with the baristas here, you never even talked, but ever since you had run a creeper out of the shop by being generally stinky and unpleasant to be around, they had started disposing of their expired muffins and cookies by wrapping them in wax papers or bags. Their boss hadn't caught on yet, but you were deeply grateful to them for every bite you salvaged from the trash.

Soon you would get your first paycheck, and then you could buy a decent meal. You'd been planning and dreaming of what it would be. Steak and potatoes? An omelet? Maybe just a regular old hamburger and Coke?

It might be the only paycheck you saw from Stark Industries though. You'd overheard Florence and Khalil talking, and she was determined to be rid of you. Khalil didn't really seem to agree, but he had kids at home, and probably couldn't afford to argue.

It didn't matter. Even if it was less than a week, you could put Stark Industries on your resume forever now. That would get you in the door. Janitorial training was a pretty good skill too. Every business needed cleaning staff, no exceptions.

Things were really looking up for you.

No one had even called you on all the weird stuff you'd put on your application.

You hadn't lied, exactly. Not exactly. Sure, you didn't live permanently at the address you'd provided, but you did sleep there sometimes. And you had gone to the school you named...before your parents completely succumbed to their paranoia and pulled you for homeschooling. The hadn't wanted public educators to fill your head with 'propaganda'.

And that was your phone number, though you'd have to buy some minutes when you got paid.

It was all at least semi-true.

Even the Theta was a symbol you had picked up off the internet, when researching what was wrong with you.

You tossed back another sugared creamer.

Having a routine again felt good. It had been over a year, but you slipped back into civilization pretty easily. You were so lucky. You always told yourself that.

Yeah, even if Florence gave you the boot, you still had options. This chapter in your life might soon be coming to an end.

Soon. You just had to wait, and work.

                                                                                                                                                    *****

Tony looked over the long, primly written list with amused disbelief.

“Is this...Is he serious?” He asked Thor. “I literally cannot tell when he is being serious, and when he is trolling me.”

“Welcome to the last thousand years of my life.” Thor said dryly, taking the list from Tony, and skimming over it. He held his hand out for a pen, and when Tony handed him one, he began crossing things off of the list.

“No...No...Absolutely not...Oh, he just put that one in there to annoy me...” Thor handed the list back. “But for the most part, yes. He is serious. Whatever else he may be-” He paused at Tony's muttering of 'war criminal' then forged on. “He is still the Crown Prince of Asgard, and the true King of Jotunheim. He is entitled to certain amenities. And then there is his...condition to think about.”

“Crown Prince of-no offense-a set of postage stamp sized fishing villages in Nova Scotia, and true King of a planet so far away that they can't even reach us to take him back. What exactly does he think he's entitled to on an enemy planet? He's here for punishment, right?”

“He's here for rehabilitation. And so that we can try to winkle out the information that we need. The goal is that he comes back to one of Asgard's 'postage stamp' villages eventually. But that man is still out there, and it's altogether too likely that he will make his way here. We're going to have to indulge my brother a bit, if we are to get information about it. Besides, he has proven himself a hero already, and suffered for it. He has earned a bit of leniency.”

“So you say, your majesty, but...” Tony scanned the revised list. “...I think I can provide most of this. But...servants? We don't really do that around here.”

“He will need assistance. And Loki has never been unduly cruel to servants who had done nothing to trouble him.”

“Okay, but what do you mean by 'trouble'? I mean, I have a few people in mind, but they all live here, and might not be instantly comfortable around him. Is he gonna whip someone over dropping a plate, or folding a cape wrong?”

“He is in no position to do so. And he never went so far back home, so I honestly doubt he would do so here. He knows full well the effect he has on the people of this world.”

“Anger and terror?”

“Pretty much.”

“Look. I'm not going to send him a servant. He'll get a maid, and nothing more. If he drives them off, he won't get a replacement. One chance. I'm not putting people at risk for his whims.”

“I couldn't ask for better than that. But time is of the essence my friend.”

“I better get some royal kickbacks for this.” Tony grumbled.

“I'll send you some Asgardian postage stamps.” Thor joked, leaving the lab.

Tony turned back to his desk, pulling up his holographic display. A short list of Greek letters that he'd been learning about popped back up.

“Okay, Theta.” He said. “Time to show me what you're worth.”

                                                                                *****

The fight started out as an accusation of theft. Florence had caught you with an Iron Muffin-a specialty of the ground floor coffee shop-which you had filched from the dumpster that morning. You'd tried to claim that you'd bought it, but then she'd demanded to see your receipt, and it had just escalated from there.

You were two words away from just quitting then and there, mostly so that she couldn't fire you, when Tony Stark had reached out of the elevator behind you, yanked you into it, waved goodbye to Florence, and shut the doors. As the elevator began to rise, you wiped a few angry tears out of your eyes, embarrassed that he had seen that.

You seemed altogether too prone to show this man your worst sides.

“I'm sorry sir.” You said. “Florence and I don't really get along.”

“She needs to be challenged sometimes. However, I am perfectly able to sass her myself, and I can't have disruption in the janitorial team. Can you imagine the uproar if the floors didn't get waxed properly at night?

Anyway, I thought we might chat about some of the information on your application.”

You were screwed. Could you be arrested for lying on an application?

“Oh geez. I'm sorry about that, but-”

“Yeah, I know. You have to write down an address, but you don't really have one, do you? But you can't leave it blank, so you improvise. I looked you up though. Your family seems to have a history of...shall we call them 'rebellious acts'?”

You hung your head. Fuck. He knew about that too.

“I'm not like them.” You muttered. “I'm not that stupid.”

“Sure hope not. Anyway, wanna tell me what a Theta is? Like, in your words.”

“You won't believe me.”

“Why wouldn't I?”

“Nobody does.”

“I can fly. I've been finding things easier to believe since then.”

Well, that was fair. He was Iron Man. He'd been involved with aliens, and killer robots, and terrorists. Why would this be too weird?

“It's kinda like a Beta, but I have an Omega's sense of smell.”

“And Alpha's pheremones don't effect you. Right?”

“R-right...” How did he-?

“You presented me with a conundrum, and I couldn't leave it alone. I needed to find out what you meant, but it wasn't exactly easy. I had to get on tumblr to figure this out. I had to learn what a demi-omega was, to figure this out. I never thought I was out of touch, but damn if you young-uns haven't come up with some creative new lingo.”

“It's just that the world is more complex than a mark on a paper.” You said.

“Don't I know it!” He laughed. “But that's not too bad, is it? Not being overpowered by Alphas? Sounds nice.”

“It's not so bad, but most people think there's something wrong with me. It's not just the Alpha pheremones, I just don't feel-wait a minute, where are we going?”

The elevator had passed the labs, far above the highest floor you were supposed to be allowed to access.

“We're headed to the residential area. Me and Pep aren't the only ones who live up on the top floors. Top dozen or so are basically penthouses, though they aren't all consistently occupied these days.”

You remembered watching footage on the news of a fight at an airport. Avenger versus Avenger. It was terrible; both you and your old roommate had cried a little. It was an awful thing, watching your heroes come apart.

You were kind of glad you didn't have any superpowers or anything like that. You wouldn't want to be at the beck and call of any government, much less more than one. It was something you had actually agreed with your parents on.

“Why are we going up there? I'm not supposed to be here.”

“You're with me kid; you can be anywhere. And anyway, the best way to keep cats from fighting is to separate them. So, from now on, you are a maid.”

“A maid? I don't know how to be a maid, I just started being a janitor!” You protested, then told yourself to shut your trap and not argue with the boss for not firing you.

Tony shrugged. “What's different about being a maid? You still clean stuff, only it's a home instead of a museum. You might need to cook something every now and then. Can you cook?”

“A little bit, yeah.”

“Not gonna lie; it's not a walk in the park. But it comes with a pay upgrade, and an apartment off the penthouse, so that's two of your problems solved.”

Suspicion began creeping in. This was all way to good to be true.

“Why me? You have to know that I'm not as qualified as the other janitors. What's the catch?”

“Well, the catch-” The elevator dinged. “Oh, look! We're here!”

The elevator doors opened. Standing right in front of them, in horned helmet and armor, stood Loki, the destroyer of New York.

[angel-emmerson]

Unearned Chances | Self-Para

addiction mention tw / abortion mention tw

Ángel’s eyes barely left the sugar packet he was playing with in his hands. He shouldn’t have been there, shouldn’t have lied to his moms about where he was spending the day, he should have told someone. But as of late he didn’t want to tell anyone anything, not even Quinn which he knew was slightly dramatic. But he was starting to feel like the minute he let something out into the universe it stopped being his. So maybe he needed a break, from social media, from his day to day life, something if it meant finding some semblance of balance again. But this..this was different. It was slightly selfish, slightly reckless and slightly reasonable. It had been on his mind for months, the lack of closure still swirling around his mind and the look in the older man’s eyes when he left. 

So now he sat in a run down diner on the side of the highway, slightly sweating his ass off as he sat across from his father, a cold plate of fries in between them. 

He hated how much he looked like him, the shape of his nose, his hair, the way he looked when he enjoyed a bite of food. He felt like he was looking at an older version of himself and it was terrifying. He didn’t think he needed a father, didn’t think he needed a male figure like him. He had his uncles, his coaches who had stepped in as pseudo fathers, giving him a ride home, making sure he knew how to be a good man. But he knew it was different, knew that even the one’s who stuck around weren’t necessarily great. He never thought he needed him but looking at him now, he realized how many questions he had. 

“So uh, you...you still sick?”

Christian nodded as he set down his silverware and reached for his glass of water. “Part of getting older, you know? You get old, your bones ache, you get sick. Your mother, she worries too much an-”

“Don’t...” Ángel held up his hand with a sigh, “Don’t..look, I’m here but she’s not my mother, alright? I got two moms and their names are Jan and Dawn, let’s just get that straight.”

“Okay, okay don’t get all tight on me, alright? You get that from me, that temper of yours,” he told him, pointing at him with a fork before he sat back. “I see it, your eyes all crazy, I know you must be going through it if you reached out to me. I know it’s not just cause you wanted to wish me a happy father’s day.”

“Sure wasn’t. Don’t talk like you know me, alright? You don’t fucking know me,” Ángel grumbled as he sat up a bit. “Yeah I’m going through shit, if I was smart I would have stayed my ass home but look at me, one big dumbass sitting here with you. Not like I didn’t know I could blame all this anger on your anyway. You and your wife did a fucking number on me, you know that? Selfish shit, real selfish shit. You gonna explain that all away to me? Tell me how you had a tough life and shit?”

Christian’s grip around his fork tightened and Ángel saw that familiar look of rage in his eyes, hating how much he recognized it. “You always talk this much shit or do I get special treatment? Marissa says you’re all over social media looking happy and enjoying life. What happened? Some mujer broke your heart or something?” He pushed some food around his plate before sighing. “Your mother and I were addicts,” he said plainly as he glanced up at Ángel. “We were...surprised when she got pregnant. We were..so sure we could get it together but we couldn’t. I wanted her to get an abortion, she was going to and then she got to there and changed her mind, you know, it wasn’t so easy to get them back then. So we saw it through and we...we tried, we tried hard and when we had you, we were sober but then..” he looked away, clearly ashamed but Ángel found it hard to have pity. “You want the truth? We were high out of our minds when we gave you up. It was stupid and dangerous and we drove away fucking stupid. I know it was stupid but after that, things changed, we became depressed, angry and we realized we had no choice when a year letter we got pregnant with Adolfo. I know..I know we weren’t good people but we have...tried our hardest to make up for that time, okay? And we..we thought about looking for you, we did but it was..”

“What? Too hard? Fuck, you want me to sit here and have pity at what you just told me? Cause all I got from that is I was a fucking mistake. And you decided not to look for me, you decided that I didn’t get to know the good version of you so why should I now? I’m supposed to care that you’re gonna die?” Ángel ran his hands over his face and shook his head, letting out a bitter laugh. “Legit no part of that story made anything better, yo. It made it worse. Like way worse. And look I have plenty of people in my life who have struggled with addiction, I get it, alright? Life’s tough, real tough but you know what you should have done instead? Been less selfish and aborted my ass,” he practically spat at him, swallowing back the rest of the words as he heard his own echo back to him. His gaze dropped back to the sugar packet in his hands and he noticed he had finally ripped a piece, hesitating before he swept the leftover sugar onto the floor. 

It was quiet for a few moments as both of them let their anger settle, both of them cycling through different thoughts and emotions, not quite sure which one to land on. 

“No puedo cambiar el pasado,” Christian started, forcing himself to look at his son, a stranger who’s eyes he had been the first to look into. How could it be that the tiny baby in his arm had become this grown man? How could it be that even without him he had still become full of rage? “Pero quiero cambiar el presente. Por favor, Ángel. Dame esa oportunidad. I know I don’t deserve it, okay? I know, but I am here at your mercy. You called, remember? Me llamaste.”

Ángel swallowed thickly as he thought about his words. He thought about all the chances he had given to the people in his life, the way he loved Quinn almost to a fault, the way the people in his life with addictions had drained so many moments from him. He thought about his recent fight and how that had been fueled by someone’s addiction and how his entire life seemed to be consumed by addiction. His very life had been a creation of it and he wasn’t sure he had it in him. He was quiet as he sat there, one of his legs bouncing as he closed his eyes and a few tears slipped out. He was so angry, he was so tired, he was so lost. The tears kept streaming and every time he thought he knew what he was going to say, he lost it all over again. Before he knew it, he heard Christian getting up from his seat, pulling him up from his own in order to embrace him in a hug. He froze at first, until he remembered they were in the middle of nowhere and he hugged him back, practically falling apart against him. 

Christian felt like he was dreaming and he held his son the way he had hoped to for all those years, the ways he had dreamed of when his wife told him to stop thinking about it, to stop feeling guilty every year May 30th passed, every time hef ound himself looking back on his life and realizing that he was never proud of any of it after that moment. He didn’t think he was a bad man but he didn’t think he was a good one and the man in his arms now, angry and damaged and sad, was proof that he had always been to blame, that he had done this no matter how much he tried to deny it. 

After what felt like far too long, they finally pulled apart and Ángel was quick in wiping at his face, stepping back out of embarrassment as he pulled his wallet from his back pocket and dropped some money down to pay for the food. He was quiet as they walked out and he slid on his sunglasses, unlocking the car so Christian could get back in and he could drop him off a block away from where he lived just like he had picked him up. He was still quiet as he helped him into the passenger seat, trying to imagine what he must have been like at a younger age, wondering what had led him to be an addict, what had happened with his father to turn him into who he was. He hated that he had so many questions, which meant he wouldn’t stop until he asked them. 

“My high school diploma and my college degree have your name on it. Ángel Christian, I never changed it, mostly cause I didn’t know it was your name.” He turned the volume as his music came on and Christian reached out to turn it up. 

“What do you know about Jon Secada, huh? Now that man can sing and this is a jam,” he concluded, staring out the window as he sang along to the song blasting on the radio. 

Ángel caught glimpses of him as he drove, watching him lose himself in the song, taking in just how..ordinary he was, how human and he almost resented the way it twisted the anger in him and turned it into a tiny ounce of compassion. Could he be blamed for wanting to get to know his dying father? 

He eased into the parking spot he had picked the older man up in and parked the car, thinking about how different things had been the last time he was there. Christian hesitated as the car went into park and he realized this was just another secret he’d have to keep, but it seemed a bit easier when it came with the chance to atone for his greatest sin. 

“Will I get to see you again?”

Ángel opened his mouth to speak but stopped himself soon after, clearing his throat before he nodded softly. “I-I got more questions so uh, yeah..yeah I’ll call you, alright?”

He didn’t miss the small smile that grew on Christian’s face as he got out of the car to help him out, making sure he was settled on his feet with his cane before he shut the passenger door. “Tómalo con calma caminando por la manzana, viejo.”

Christian let out a laugh as he gave Ángel’s shoulder a squeeze. “Me encanta escucharte hablar español.” 

Ángel actually managed a slight bit of a smile as he looked at him but shook it off and went back around to get in his truck. He gave the older man one more wave before he watched him start on down the block and he waited until he was mostly there before he pulled away. Maybe he had made a mistake by reaching out but the further away he drove, the more he found himself wishing he had done it sooner. 

[jeaneybean]

So I haven’t done a recap in a while

TL;DR previously on this campaign we broke into a vampire’s house, murdered him, looted it, the gang dug up a body and ‘let’ her brother take her somewhere that wasn’t a mass grave, and Vera lied like no other to a vampire’s major domo.

Last episode left off with Vlad’s father tearfully greeting Fyodora, asking the group why they’d came and how they met and whatnot. And that’s when Havilah failed his first control shape check of the full moon, turning into a wolf right in that great hall. He instantly grabbed his wolf and went outside to sulk, despite Vlad’s father Valery being like ‘no that’s just something that happens’. Werewolf dad is pretty chill with puppy problems.

Vlad and Valery go out hunting to get meat for the table and everyone except Havilah have dinner in the great hall. Introductions are made around the table, Vera giving a very diplomatic telling of how the party met up with Vlad. Jake does his normal Jake stuff after popping out of the necklace and Magnolia starts throwing rolls at him. Wolff Wolf skitters behind him and snaps up the rolls every time they hit the floor. Valery tries to figure out how Nitahn got his affliction, mostly trying to see if it was Vlad doing it. Vera doesn’t confirm or deny this, stating that it was necessary and bringing up how Juno would’ve turned him int he great hall anyway and they got to one up her. The entire party confirms that Nitahn is a big ol puppydog.

Valery offers the party sanctuary for however long they need, and Oz def makes a note that Vera mentions nothing about taking it despite being into her sixth months of being preggers. After dinner Vera brought Nitahn some Venison and talked to him for a bit, squooshing his face and wiggling his nose because he’s a cute wolf and also because ‘I can’t mess with you like this when you’re a human’ before heading back inside.

Jake also bothers Nitahn, using his newly gotten suggestion spell to have Nitahn fetch. This annoys Nitahn severly, and pisses off Oz pretty bad because Oz doesn’t like the entire Enchantment school. Oz scolds Jake pretty badly for taking away their friend’s free will before being like ‘yeah it’s probably best we don’t talk for a while’. Oz then goes to Nitahn and tattles on Vera for not asking to stay despite her state and puppy Nitahn is like ‘thank you for bringing this to my attention, boof.’. After that, Oz goes to Magnolia and again tattles on Vera.

Meanwhile Vera is having a time up in her room, finishing letters and getting herself real upset. This follows down to breakfast, where she’s very quiet. The mail carrier shows up to the distrust of everyone but Vera, and letters are passed out. Nitahn got a few from his family and three from Jasna, Vera got three from her husband and two from Nik, Oz got one from his mom and one from Vera’s husband. Vera sends off four letters: one to her husband, one to Nik, one to Jasna, and one that it takes her a bit to hand off. She instructs the carrier that it isn’t to be delivered to the Medvedev house, that it is to be left in care of either Mishti Isha or Vera Medvedeva. It’s a letter to her brother. After that Vera excuses herself from breakfast and goes up to her room, where she stays. Her letters get her caught up on city goss and Nik’s scrounged up every bit of werewolf/vampire politic information that he can.

Jake goes down to town and tries to get a loan from the bank, going with all of his usual chaos. He tries to get a loan to open a pancake shop, turning into a short copy of Vlad when the banker says he’d need a voucher. He also tries to use suggestion, leading the banker to realize that he’s tried to alter his mind but still is super confused about what’s going on. He tells Jake to come back tomorrow and Jake happily leaves.

Vera doesn’t show to dinner, citing not feeling well. Valery visits her in her room where she is hiding behind Bear and offers to let her stay in the keep until after she has the baby. Vera’s mostly dead to the world and is like ‘yeah, whatever they decide on I’ll do’. Which is good because Vera’s normal reponse would be basically ‘aw heck no’ to the idea of staying in one spot.

Valery repeats this offer to the group and Oz tattles on Vera to Valery, and Valery’s like ‘yeah no she’s very pregnant’. Magnolia spends another meal chucking rolls at Jake and Wolf-Wolf gets more snackums.

Jake heads back to the bank the next day to fuck with him more, and Vera tracks down Oz to ask him about something he’d mentioned during the great hall, about how dying wasn’t so bad. Mostly she just wants to tell him that should he need help in Spee, Selina isn’t that far away. Oz advises her to forget he said that, as he’s not legally allowed to discuss it. Vera is like ‘cool. Just remember if you need help I’m a lwayer.’ and Oz also realizes that Vera is looking bad. He inquires if she’s okay and Vera’s like ‘yeah, no, not really’ and eventually admits that now that they have downtime she’s got time to think on stuff. A year ago she was in the capital dressed in nice things going to parties, and now she’s out here up to her elbows in blood of terrible people. And she really, really prefers the second to the first. Oz tries to comfort her by saying that it is the blood of awful people, but Vera doesn’t seem to comforted. 

She also finds Magnolia and brings up the idea of silvered claws for bear. Magnolia agrees to the idea, and also brings up that Vera looks pretty wrecked. She offers to spend time with Vera, and Vera’s like ‘yeah I’ve been crying a lot and I don’t like people to see me cry’ and Mags is like ‘well, I can look away’ and Vera admits that’s what her husband does. 

They have a bit of downtime, and one day Fyodora comes up to Nitahn and is like ‘so there’s someone talking to my father and i am not cool with them, come with me?’ and they go to eavesdrop on official business. Nitahn, however, recognizes the voice: Anton Bellek. He instantly bursts into the room and is like YOU.

Meanwhile, Vlad knocks on Vera’s door and is like ‘So there’s someone here to meet my father on offical business and I don’t think he’s good. We should get the group together?” And vera’s like “Fine, help me put on my armor” “I think his name was Anton Bellek?” “-sounds of Vera scrambling across the room, throwing her door open- Okay let’s fucking go.’

They go down and vera’s like ‘so will you be okay heading in there?’ to Vlad and he’s like ‘Yeah, no, it’ll be fine.’ “He (Valery) wont’ hit you?” And that’s when Vlad learns something about Vera he probably didn’t want to get confirmation on and is like “Yeah, no. That’s not the kind of person he is.” And they initally hold back, but they hear Nitahn inside and Vera’s like ‘oh goddamnit’ before breaking in themselves.

Anton greets everyone pleasantly. Vera holds onto her temper for a bit and apologises to Valery for bursting in before turning to Anton. Anton’s looking for allies! Anton is also still super evil, though not enough to knock Vera unconcious. Magnolia’s hiding behind Vlad, making sniping comments whenever she can.

Anton gives a grand speech and he’s good at it, and Jake’s like ‘yeah no he sounds legit’ and the whole fucking time Vera is grinding her teeth and quickly losing any composure she has. She starts calling him out on about every point, adding in there the whole ‘hey, I’m a paladin, I can literally see you’re evil’ and he tries being like ‘I kill people to eat, I have to drink the blood of living creatures’ and Gremlin Oz is like ‘what about getting concent first’ and Vera’s like ‘Can’t you eat animal blood? I’m not evil because I eat meat’.

She goes on her own rant about understanding the desire of being up to your elbows in blood and she admits: She wants a war too. She all but begs him to fight against whatever nature he’s got from being a vampire and offers out her holy symbol as kind of a peace offing. Anton doesn’t take it and curls his lip up at it.

Anton departs, making some dark comments about Vlad and Valery as he goes. The enitre party sees shadows detach from the walls and go to him, and Oz passes a knowledge arcana to know there’s a preestige class that lets you summon shadows. Vera’s like ‘yeah, that tracts’.

Vlad is goaded by Magnolia to talking with his dad for the first time since they first arrived and he’s like ‘listen laws are there for a reason, but Anton’s right. We have to change. We can’t be a neutral party or we’re going to be targeted by everyone. We can’t stick to the old ways when there’s almost no one left here’ and Valery seems to be ackwnolaging this.

Vera makes a parting note to everyone to watch the shadows, and goes to Vlad’s room and is like ‘hey can I stay here tonight and make sure you don’t get eaten by shadows’ and he agrees. She spends her night laying on bear and quietly praying, because vera doesn’t afraid of anything but herself, and she just admitted to everyone that she wants to start a war and she really likes being covered in blood.

Things are chill for a while, until one day at dinner Oz hears a crash int he kitchen. Before we can prepare, but with enough time to make sure there’s no sneak attacks, nine werewolves storm the room. Three enter from the kitchen side, six from the main entrance. One wolf goes for Jake, two go for Valery. On the other side, one goes for Vlad and two go for Vera, while all three archers take shots at Valery. They hit him in the shoulders, and one in the face directly in his eye. He reacts by hulking out into a werewolf. Y’know. Like you do. Vlad doesn’t turn into a werewolf, choosing to instead swing his axe at one of the werewolves previously attacking Vera.

Magnolia and Oz take a quick second to talk about Vera, who has neither armor nor arms on her because she hasn’t been wearing them. Oz assures Magnolia he can protect Vera, and Magnolia encourages Vera to climb up on the table. Vera’s like ‘yeah, that was my plan’ as she climbs up on it and summons Bear in her place. Bear responds to this by going for the wolf that Vlad attack, full round attacking and killing it. Magnolia climbs on the table and reaches out to tap Valery with a Bear’s Endurance. Oz blocks Vera in from the other side and casts Slow on the remaining five werewolves on our side because Oz is an unholy terror. Jake hits himself with mage armor like a good boy. The werewolves with their crossbows drop them and draw short swords before slowly starting to move towards the group. 

Valery slashes at a nearby wolf and Vlad turns into a werewolf for the extra beef. Vera slaps bear with Divine Sacrifice and turns him loose on the werewolves, where Bear starts to just slap them the fuck around. Werewolves have DR. Bear doesn’t care. Bear overwhelms it. Magnolia casts Foundations of Stone on everyone on the ground. Oz casts stoneskin on himself.

A few other highlights: Bear did what I’d been hoping he’d do forever, crit on a Divine Sacrifice blow. 46 damage in one hit, he turned one wolf to mush. On our side of the room he tore through everything. Oz got hit once and shrugged it off thanks to stoneskin. He also cast haste on the party, and flesh to stone on one of the werewolves. Valery dragged a werewolf that pulled a silver dagger on him into a melee with Nitahn climbing in. Vlad offered Vera his axe to protect herself and Vera very unhappily had to turn it down because she’d probably fucking use it. Mags cast Balor Nimbus on herself and went to join the scrap of werewolves.

A vampire droped from the ceiling and hit Jake with a sneak attack for 46 damage, killing him. As Jake died, he felt himself pulled somewhere else. Death appeared before him, and as Jake watched, the skeletal form shifted until Death looked like him. The not Jake tipped his head and was like ‘fascinating’.

Meanwhile, as everyone starts to freak the fuck out about Jake, he pulls off of the sword, looks down at himself, and was like ‘Fascinating.’

[dsmadmin]

#KeepinItNTheFamilia

Written by Miguel Galindo and @StaunchZeal

Miguel -Sederica Palomo had become his soft spot to forget his mother's death and the troubles that seem to plague him. The bitch of a psychiatrist who'd failed his mother was now rotting in an unmarked grave in the desert. It killed him to know he'd failed Dita like this and he'd keep pushing, looking into every possible lead to figure things out. He'd given Nestor orders to stop at nothing and Nestor never let him down. Looking down at Palomo spread across the black satin sheets writhing with desire he concentrated on making love to her pushing everything else out of his mind. Things were going to get worse before better he knew this and these little "sessions" would keep him sane enough to ride out the storm. Her body was so damn soft and the woman never raised her voice or tried to demean him like his wife had a habit of doing. Strong and confident just like Emily but more class and a way of getting what she wanted without talking like gutter trash. Although he did enough roughing Emily up, it was amazing how wet she got when held down. At that moment Palomo cried out his name and he followed down in bliss.

Holding her until almost dawn before he gathered his clothes and got dressed. He had some concerns over the MC's and wanted to make sure they were holding together not tearing each other a part. Not that he really gave a shit about any of them save Alvarez but it was a means to an end. The crackdown at the border was messing with the cartel's bottom line and that did not sit well with him. Just last week a major tunnel was filled with concrete and at least one of the coyotes had been trap inside and essentially buried alive in the shit. Tunnels took time and money to get dug, he needed to look at some alternative routes. Hopefully, the new U.S. politicians in power kept their end of bargains they were a den of snakes but a necessary evil to get the job done. Human trafficking was on the rise and he was not a fan of it. Seeing his mother be dominated so completely by his father and having received the brunt of his father's brutality he did not want in the middle of this shit but the U.S. state department wasn't going to roll over and let him go legit entirely, no the bastards needed someone on the inside. Which reminded him of Adelita was still locked up by them, but he was working to get her back and keep her alive. He'd never met a stronger woman, she was truly exquisite. Getting into the car he told the driver to take him back to the house he needed a shower and breakfast, then... he would take care of business.-

Emily: 

Blue eyes drifted to the clock on the nightstand. Watching as each second ticked by. The annoying sound taunting her as it counted down the minutes, then the hours that she lay there alone. Things with Miguel had been anything but perfect of late. But then again, when had their marriage ever been easy? There was always something pulling them apart, yet they always found their way back. That was, until now.

Dita’s death had affected Miguel more than he cared to admit. Add the break-down of the Agri-Park deal and the closing of the border on top of that. And it had ultimately turned him into a nuclear bomb just waiting to explode. Of course, Emily was trying her best to play the part of the dutiful wife, but even she had her limits.

And Erin’s arrival hadn’t helped matters either. Her younger sibling and her quick temper had Emily teetering on the edge of insanity. Wondering which one was going to break first. Her husband or her sister. It was no wonder her morning coffee had been replaced by a glass of wine when this was what she had to deal with daily.

Since the border shut down, she’d became somewhat of a recluse. Always having abuse hurled at her whenever she stepped outside the sanctuary of her home, so why bother to leave it? She knew everyone blamed her for all of the shit that had gone down. Even Miguel did. Something he made no secret of expressing to her whenever he felt the need to hurt her. It was no wonder she couldn’t sleep with so much going on in her mind.

Then there was Miguel. He seemed to have an excuse not to be at home with her more and more of late. Did he despise her that much that he couldn’t even be in the same room as her? Be in the same bed? Emily couldn’t even remember the last time he had made love to her. Sighing all too loudly as she attempted the math in her mind. It had been way too long. And no wonder why she was frustrated all the damn time.

Kicking her feet free of the covers, her head-turning to the left to look at the clock for the umpteenth time. Expelling another sigh as she slapped her hand to the cool cushions to the side of her. Where the hell was he now? How many more lies would he fabricate just to stay away from her? Hoisting herself into a sitting position. Dragging her fingertips through her unruly locks as the faint sound of tires, crunching against the gravel on the driveway grabbed her attention.

Emily was up and out of bed in less than a minute. The house still masked in silence, save for the sound of her bare feet hitting the cool floor below them. Sadly, it wouldn’t stay that way for much longer. Not when her body was primed and ready for a fight.

Arms folded over her chest, tapping her foot against the bottom of the stairs. Her gaze focused on the front door. Willing it to open. Waiting for the lame-ass excuse her husband would undoubtedly give her. Sadly for him; he’d be wasting his breath. She was done being walked all over. Being made a fool of. Today was the day they would finally have it out with him and stand up for herself once and for all.

Miguel: -He yawned deeply, he needed sleep but he also needed to talk to the MC and see what could be done to increase revenue. Getting out he said goodnight to Nestor and went up the stairs, putting his key in the lock he pushed opened the door and then shut it. Resetting the security system he turned and caught sight of Emily's blonde hair and defensive stance. Letting a breath out he walked towards her.- Shouldn't you be asleep? You need to rest, our son will be up soon and since you fired the Nanny he's going to need you to care for him.

Emily: 

"Where the fuck have you been?" The blonde was certainly in no mood for his bullshit at this hour of the morning. Hands balled at her sides as she stepped closer towards him, nostrils flaring with anger. Was that perfume she could smell on him? Surely he wouldn't be that much of a fool. Then again, it was like these past weeks he had turned into a different person altogether.

Scoffing with a roll of her eyes. "That is all you have to say to me?" God. She was trying so hard to keep that anger at bay right now, but with every word that fell out of his mouth, the more she wanted to slap him across his face. Wipe that smug look off his face once and for all.

"Cristobal will be perfectly fine. He has Erin to take care of him. Or did that suddenly slip your mind, hmm? That you think that I'm so incapable of taking care of our child? That I need my sister here to help?"

Not even caring how early in the day it was, Emily waltzed towards the drinks cabinet to pour herself a tumbler of whiskey. Waving it around in his face as if daring him to challenge her.

"You know why I fired the fucking nanny. She let Paloma walk in here and talk to me like I was nothing. Like I was the one to blame for the border shut down when we all know that was your fault." Taking a healthy gulp of the amber liquid before continuing. "If anyone is to blame, Miguel it is you. You and your need to be in control of every little thing. Well, well done Jefe. In your need to be King, you ended up screwing us over."

Miguel: 

• -Thumb and forefinger traced his beard as he watched her theatrics, he let her ramble on. Once she'd finally stopped he leaned against the wall with a faint smirk on his face and looked at her.- La alma... is this how you will handle yourself and others when comforted with something? All that fuego... yet it's all humo, nothing real or tangible done. Are you Emily Thomas? Or are you Emily Galindo? You have the power within your grasp have you realized now that not all fights can be won fairly, that you have to rise up and throw the first punch? You blame me but really, one man... -Shakes head- You're smarter than this mi amor, stronger than this. Tossing insults at me will not fix the problems or find a way around them. So... shall I treat you like a mere woman or the lioness I married? Your choice. I'm going to take a shower and come find something to eat it's been a long day.
-With that he turned and went up the staircase feeling calmer than he had in days, maybe it was knowing the psychiatrist had been dealt with.-


Emily -

"Are you kidding me right now?" The blonde stood opened mouthed watching her husband through narrowed eyes. That smirk and his nonchalant demeanour only making her want to lash out at her further. With a shake of her head, she set the glass down before the urge to hurl it at him, overwhelmed her.

"I know all about not winning fairly. Or have you forgotten the lengths I went to, to make sure I got the Agro-Park deal in the first place? And has it also slipped your mind that the only reason I won the bid was that I was counting on shipping the materials from over the border?"

There had been no doubt in her mind then about who she was. She was a Galindo through and through. But what the fuck did that matter when the whole situation was impossible to fix? Turning away briefly, just enough to give Miguel the excuse he needed to leave her standing there. Or so he thought.

"Don't you walk away from me, this is not over," she shouted after him. Bare feet slapping against the floor as she followed behind him like a lost little puppy. Reaching out with her left hand when she was close enough to wrap her fingers around his arm. "You still haven't told me where you were. But by the smell of the cheap perfume on you, I would hazard a guess at a strip club." Sniffing the air as she spoke to emphasise her point.

Miguel -

-Stops at the top of the landing to look down at her.- You like to fight with me don’t you Emily... instead of instigating a fight why don’t you take a shower with me huh? Maybe it will relax you. This attitude has to stop, I’ve got enough to worry about from the outside. I don’t need to be at war with my wife as well.

Emily -

He had a point. She did enjoy the fighting part of their relationship. Pushing his buttons until he reached his breaking point, resulting in mind-blowing makeup sex afterwards. Hell, maybe that was the whole reason she had pushed him so far. Especially given their sex life had been dried than the Shahara, lately.

"Fine," was all the blonde said as she pushed by him. Making sure to nudge her shoulder into his side harder than need be as she did. Casting a single glance at him over her shoulder as she reached the threshold of their bedroom. "Are you coming or not?" She questioned before vanishing into their bedroom.

She needed this. They needed this. If this marriage was to survive then they needed to learn to work together again as a team. To be that unstoppable force that no one would dare question.

Discarding her nightgown as she stepped into the adjoining bathroom, listening carefully for her husband's footsteps. Making sure he was indeed following behind her. When she was satisfied she reached into the shower cubicle, turning on the hot water before standing under the spray.

Miguel -

-Loosening his tie as he followed her into the master suite and then into the bathroom, they'd come a long way in their lives. Growing up differently but still managing to be two sides to the same coin. He admired her fire and tenacity but at times he also hated it. She challenged him in ways most wouldn't dare. Unbuttoning his shirt he watched the water hit her naked body, she was something out a magazine. The swell of her breasts, the dimples on her lower back. The way she cried out with unhindered abandonment rolled up in a sharp mind and ambition... She may be faltering at the moment, seeing the very real hostility of the people of San Padre but it would make her stronger. They'd survived the FEDs and many who'd tear them down just to say they could but yet, they were still here. And they'd need to tighten edges because much more was coming. As the last of his clothes dropped to the floor he got in behind her. His darker skin a stark contrast to her pale, running his hands over her body the evidence of his arousal against her back. Hand splayed he slid it down to cup her mound possessively. Curling his fingers to run against the grain of her manicured pubic hair, his free hand massaged her left breast teasing her swollen nipple-

Emily -

Emily: There was only one man who knew exactly how to touch her, where to touch her. And that was Miguel. God. She hadn't realized how much she had needed him until he stepped into the shower cubicle with her. With her back pressing to his front, she could feel his erection pressing firmly against the base of her spine. And as his hand traveled further south and between her legs, Emily knew all the waiting would be worth it.

With a hiss, she rolled her lower lip between her teeth as his hand connected with her breast. His long skilled fingers, toying with her nipple causing a gasp to fall past her lips. Her right hand clamping down over his, pushing his fingers deep inside of her. But it wasn't enough. She needed more.

"I've missed this. I've missed you," Emily whispered, turning her head to the side slightly to pepper several kisses against his bare jawline. "I miss the beard," she said matter of factly as she turned back away from him. Rolling her hips to send his fingers deeper as she sucked in a breathe. Her heartbeat pounding erratically behind her ribcage as his skilled fingers went to work. And as good as those fingers were, she craved him in another way.

Miguel - • 
-Wet and willing her softness kickstarted the fire that burned within, left hand went into her hair and pulled back as he ruthlessly fingered her a few times before shoving her up against the expensive tile. Palm clasped her underneath her thigh to left her leg up clearing the way for his cock. She was at just the right height, that once he drove in, he'd be in the perfect position to thrust without much effort or difficulty. And that's what he did, savage thrusts as his hand encircled her neck and held it tight. Getting off on the fact she was at his mercy and should he choose she'd take her last breath. With the information of late on her and EZ he wanted to kill her for betraying him, beat her till she didn't remember who Reyes was but for now he'd play the game a little longer. They'd find out soon who's side Alvarez was on and he'd be rid of Ezekiel for good. The fact she'd run to him infuriated Miguel even more and he closed off her ability to breathe. Grieving and being betrayed were messing with his mind and it was only getting worse.-




[anxiety-trademark]

The week in review:

Raw 11/30 NXT 12/02 NXT UK 12/03 Smackdown 12/04 Takeover War Games 12/06 + Main Event 12/03

Raw:

...Yeah hi, what the fuck is with the doll trapped inside of the table? Is that a metaphor for Alexa??

I’m so happy for her being able to have segments with Orton. Good for her.

Alexa’s like a mere inch taller than me so she’s a nice gauge as to to how tall the men’s roster is in comparison, and Randy? Fucking tall.

So the writing was on the wall; Fiend cares about Alexa (whether the nature is abusive is irrelevant to this point) and Randy has figured out how to use Alexa as a pawn to manipulate Fiend. I was kind of hoping Fiend/Alexa were in control of the gameboard, but it seems I’ve been duped.

The only complaint I have about this is how... compliant and helpless Alexa was in this segment. She’s not only been possessed/traumatized into caring about Fiend, but furthermore she does care about him, so why wouldn’t she be fighting against Randy when she was in his arms? The writing of her character in this particular segment seemed shallow. I know she can play whatever emotion they want from her, so to not ask for any emotions at all is curious.

Also the only person who isn’t a heel here is Alexa, and I won’t really hear any argument on the manner. Fiend is a predator at best. Orton is a psychotic douchebag.

My head hurts. Imagine Becky being stuck in a tag team with Lana rather than throwing a huge fit about not being able to defend her title for fucking months.

“Sarah you wouldn’t understand, but Shayna and I are about to-- *starts smiling like a fucking idiot*” Wow I want to defend wwe’s incessant need for giving Lana a storyline but I’m so fucking tired of abysmal promos. God. I. Miss. Becky. WHY is the Raw women’s champion wrapped up in this??

“First of all... ew.” lolololol

Shayna’s hatred for Lana is fucking hilarious.

Why is it, whenever Nia and Shayna do their dual barricade ragdoll move, Nia always gets the lighter one?

Nia fucking pummeled Lana lmao.

I kind of wish this story had a live crowd, I’d like to see if all of this was actually buying Lana some goodwill from the audience.

Hilarious watching Lana sit on the bottom rope for a few seconds before climbing through onto the apron, before slinking down to a sitting position, before finally collapsing onto the floor barely peering into the ring. Tf is she doing rofl.

Now she jumped up onto the apron lacking any enthusiasm, tagged herself in, and is climbing onto the turnbuckle while seemingly sobbing. What in the fuck lmao.

God Asuka is working overtime here.

*Bonus* online exclusive: how fun, Lana and Asuka are singing and dancing together. This division is turning into a garbage fire rq.

Oh is Mandy still out with an injury in kf?

Love it when new debuts get no fucking entrance. Yikes.

Mia Yim had such a dope theme song and entrance, I can’t believe it’s been scrapped so that she can call herself “Reckoning” and hang out in some dead-end group. Shame.

Oh my god. Mia loses to Dana via rollup after taking virtually no offense. What a waste of everyone’s time. I see this going nowhere, absolutely nowhere.

*Bonus* online exclusive: lmfao the Nikki Cross interview was worth a mention. First off, Nikki looks gorgeous. Second, I feel like this is the beginning of her run of not appearing on Raw because she isn’t deemed developed enough outside of a tag team, which is sad. Third, rofl @ her giving Sarah sheep’s stomach chicken to eat, I have no words. Anyway, she should be a solid midcarder. Get it together wwe.

Highlight: Probably the Nikki Cross online exclusive

---

NXT:

They got Shotzi something that glows. Wow.

Why is there a silhouette as if Io isn’t already added to the team? Why wouldn’t she be? Shayna was in last year’s, why wouldn’t Io be in this year’s? Is this supposed to be suspenseful?? lmao plz.

Indi did not take a bullet for you, she was just an idiot. Also why does this bitch still have a neck brace on? It was an Eclipse, let’s get real for a second.

Why you acting like your team is cohesive anyway? Doesn’t Dakota hate you? Didn’t Toni just turn heel for virtually no fucking reason, after defending/consoling Shotzi and attacking Candice like a sore loser? *sigh*

I know fans are really into WarGames but I find the alliances really fucking weak every year. It’s as bad as Survivor Series, just with more weapons and brutality.

So Xia Li lost some matches and now she’s being tortured... okay. I’m gonna keep my comments on this to a minimum cuz I can tell this will be some long-term story.

Oh I really like how their respective team members are standing up in the back on balconies. I really fucking like the layout of this arena. Huge fan.

Why Shotzi vs Raquel though? Why is the team captain fighting? That’s not typical for these, is it?

Ugh failure to throw Shotzi through the ropes. There’s just... a skill gap in the division, you know? And Shotzi and Raquel are on the lower end of that gap. I don’t care if people love Shotzi, she’s MILES away from being a champion. What saves her is her risk-taking, but it’s just a matter of time before that bites her in the ass.

Shotzi’s offense is doing a minimal amount of potential damage to her opponent while taking herself out in the most convoluted way possible. She’s Sasha Banks on steroids.

You call it innovative, I call it foolish.

Raquel just standing there waiting with stairs in her hands. Beast.

Shotzi can’t have a kf leg injury, that negates 95% of her offense!

Limpy vs Gimpy

Setting up that ladder in the corner was clunky as shit.

A pure ladder stip is hard to have in a women’s singles match, but this match is a big pile of meh.

Honestly I’m not about to complain about all of these women getting involved because this is borderline boring.

AYYYEEE it’s Io! Io saved this match tbh. Love her, THAT’S my champion.

Give Shotzi’s team the advantage, I doubt they win anyway.

To be honest; you have former nxt champion Ember Moon, inaugural UK champion and former nxt champion who fought against Charlotte fucking Flair at WrestleMania Rhea Ripley, and current champion that beat Charlotte fucking Flair for the title Io Shirai. The idea of that team losing is laughable at best in kf. But they will, cuz fuck babyfaces.

*Bonus* online exclusive: What surprises could you possibly have in store aside from some random weapons? Also fuck your howl. Edit: she was talking about her stupid new tank, wasn’t she...

Highlight: Io showing up at the end of the ladder match

---

NXT UK:

Who’s this green-shirt bro and why did he run over there to break up the brawl as if there aren’t 2 dozen officials already? Men needlessly getting involved in women’s fights irritates the shit out of me.

He also got in the way of the shot for the majority of this clip. I hate him. 

I hope Jinny wins this future match.

This Aleah girl is like a cross between Kacy and Alexa, and honestly I hate it. Which is odd cuz I love them. She pisses me off though. Not sure what to make of it.

So supposedly Valkyrie is undefeated? That’s good. Let’s keep that going.

Valkyrie has nice counters and is super athletic. I say this every time I watch one of her matches but she deserves more praise.

I hate that women on UK get so little time. Send Valkyrie and KLR to nxt and send Dakota and Rhea to the MR, thanks.

I’d pay to see Valkyrie vs KLR too!

Still not a fan of Valkyrie’s finisher. Love her gear though, it looks different.

Highlight: Always a pleasure watching Valkyrie

---

Smackdown:

Lmfao Bayley “fails” to break the count before rolling back outside, so she rolls back in and fucking stomps her feet while yelling at the ref. She’s good. She’s good at the basics, good at paying attention to her surroundings, and good at improvising.

Bayley and Nattie are smooth together. They’ve never had a match, right? Other than this?

Love how Bianca has all of Bayley’s attention.

Bayley just used Nattie’s discus clothesline against her lmao. What a troll.

I remember when Bayley tapped, her entire fanbase was crying claiming she was buried. Watching it myself, she is so obviously entering into a program with Bianca. Christ 90% of her attention was on Bianca throughout the match.

*Bonus* online exclusive: Bianca just told Bayley her hair ain’t even and she looks dusty, good fucking bye.

mmmm not sure if Sasha has the admiration of the wwe universe. Look she’s a remarkable talent in the ring, but she is insanely annoying outside of it. She’s changed nothing from the time she was heel, other than no longer cheating to win. She obnoxiously cackles, she’s egotistical, she gets along with legit nobody. I’m not convinced the crowd would even cheer her, even if she’s one of the best bell to bell. Her fans can call her the number 1 babyface, but that’s a stretch if I’ve ever heard one.

“I won the first 2 women’s mitb” aaggghhhhh I hate that Carmella still claims that. Debatable. De-ba-ta-ble.

Lol “I can’t help if men are obsessed with me,” alright sure. That’s good tbh. Carmella is a notorious cheat but regardless, that’s good.

Well the reason y’all never faced one on one is because Carmella’s a Smackdown veteran and you just got here, but I digress.

So where’s the army that still runs around crying that Becky buried her when she called her the greatest woman to never be great (facts)? Where’s the outrage for Sasha demeaning Carmella and claiming she’s not in her league? Sasha fans are wild.

“With half the work I’m better than you. I held onto that Smackdown woman’s title longer than all of your title reigns combined.” omg she’s dead. Shots fired, target hit. Someone call Sasha a hearse. 

Instead of sitting there making ugly faces, Sasha really should’ve gotten up and left. Lick her wounds or something kekek.

Highlight: I’m into this Bayley/Bianca thing they’re building

---

Takeover WarGames:

I just think it’s so cool that wwe shelled out the money for a Black Sabbath song. Of course they can afford it, but for a Takeover? Points.

Nobody wants to come take out Candice rq? No? Nobody at all???

Oh hell yeah Dakota gets to start? Good for her, since she skipped out on it last year.

I don’t fucking get Ember Moon’s persona, but I like her lit gear tonight.

“Aiming it square at Team LeRae” sometimes I wonder if Vic is simply blind.

The concept of this match is fun, but it always feels a little hollow until the match actually starts.

So cool that they got Wade Barrett on commentary in nxt.

Sloppy headscissors by Ember, but Dakota sold well per usual. Not sure why they’d have Ember run the marathon.

I’d pay so much money to see the 4hw in a WarGames match.

Oh that’s cool, Raquel put her hand up to protect Ember’s face from Dakota’s kick. We appreciate a performer that protects her coworkers.

That sunset flip powerbomb by Shotzi onto Raquel off the ropes was neat.

Toni up in here just removing all the turnbuckles. I wonder if running into exposed turnbuckles actually hurts that much.

Toni barely taps Ember with a kendo stick and she acting like she’s dying.

Man that 6 woman thing was so choreographed. Even did a countdown.

Io ma’am we don’t-- we don’t need ladders... okay. Okay.

Io scaling the cage and Raquel knocking her off like in Super Mario Brothers.

I feel like WarGames is convoluted enough, but sure, let’s get into the winter of overbooked women’s matches. New season, same bullshit.

AHAHAHAHAH IO’S FUCKING SMILE. She is standing on top of the cage putting a garbage can over her head, and has the audacity to wear a shit eating grin. I cannot, this girl is crazy and I love her.

Stupid spot? Maybe. Is Io batshit insane for jumping like 10 feet down completely blind? Absolutely. Points.

CLEAN ddt by Io onto Raquel. Spiked.

Candice is dumb. Got a trash can lid standing opposite Shotzi who’s wielding a chair. Candice throws the lid, says ‘hold on’, then climbs through the ropes to grab a kendo stick while crying ‘help’. Grabs her kendo stick, goes to bat against Shotzi, gets her hand smashed lmao. Idiot.

Oh that was perfectly timed. Dakota busts Shotzi with a chair strike and barely even begins to turn around before Io missile dropkicks the chair into her from out of nowhere.

Dakota stuck a trash can over Io and then did a double stomp that impacted the trash can so badly she couldn’t slide it off lol. eesh.

Is Ember gonna attempt to Eclipse someone onto a set of upright chairs... Omg no. You’re gonna take the brunt of this, jfc don’t.

Oh good god what a fucking beautifully bad idea. I hope you’re okay bro. Man Dakota FLIPPED over. Nasty, nasty move.

That Storm Zero through a trash can was ace. Honestly I see a lot more potential for Toni here in nxt than over on UK.

This is a really good match. 

It’s not that I hate the coffin drop off the ladder onto Candice, but Candice really ruined it by preemptively grabbing a chair and holding it on top of herself. Kind of spelled out exactly how that was gonna go.

Io and Rhea make an amazing team.

Rhea and being thrown into the cage on the outside of the ropes, name a more iconic duo. I’ve heard that’s the worst part about cage matches cuz your skin legit gets dragged against the links as you slide down.

Holy shit Io just got powerbombed through a ladder. OOF.

That’s the ending?? Raquel pinned Io for the ending??? Holllllyyyy shit.

Interestingly enough, I’d have to say the 2 team captains did the least amount of notable work.

What took out Shotzi: On screen the last bump she took was her coffin drop onto Candice, which kept her from saving Io. Mess.

Some great spots for sure. Recency bias might be a thing, but I feel like I enjoyed this one more than last year’s.

Highlight: That Eclipse onto the chairs to Dakota was WICKED

---

*BONUS*

Main Event:

Main event giving people promo time? Is this typical??

Okay look. You acknowledged Alexa is brainwashed. You acknowledged that she chose him (even though she’s brainwashed so you really shouldn’t be upset). Now you’re claiming SHE came out and slapped you, as if you haven’t been relentlessly bothering her about her boyfriend that she chose because she’s brainwashed, and as if you weren’t the one who came out and confronted her. Is this not super problematic to anyone else??? Nikki this doesn’t make you a victim or even a decent person/friend lmao.

It’s a good promo though. Good delivery, very buyable.

WHY DO I GOTTA HEAR THE CAW MUSIC???

I know Lacey’s being a bitch, but it’s an awful hair style, Sarah. I’m sorry.

Lmao Lacey is so god damn funny when she has someone to play off of. I can see the appeal in her and Peyton, I can see it. I can see it. The pairing should absolutely not last long because Lord they’re abysmal in the ring together, but outside? Swell, just swell.

Lacey will always have a job solely for her character work if nothing else.

Haha Lacey running from Nikki. She’s a treat.

Really thought that spinning heel kick was gonna be the end of it.

This match is definitely Main Event(tm) worthy, but I’m glad it has some semblance of a story going into it.

Peyton’s jump kick looks dumb.

Probably for the best that Nikki loses this, even if Peyton is awful.

---

*WarGames was definitely the highlight in an otherwise really lame week of wrestling. I don’t even have a runner-up, I’m just thankful for WarGames.

[nothing-but-kpop-dreams]

BTS reaction: Them being a virgin and wanting their first time with you (request)

I am so, so, so sorry this took so long. I didn’t mean for it took take this long, but things have just been crazy for me and the rest of us on this blog.

Jin:

You two lay on the bed. You were cuddled next to Jin, watching YouTube videos on the laptop placed on Jin’s stomach. Suddenly, he paused the video, “I have to go to the bathroom. Don’t watch it without me.” he said a he crawled out of bed.

“Nah, I’m gonna keep watching.” you said only to be playfully annoying.

“No! See it without me and I’ll stop cooking for you!” he threatened as he left the room.

“PLaY thE ViDeo anD I wOn’T coOk foR You!” you mimicked in a high voice when you were sure he wasn’t able to hear you.

You left the laptop on this side of the bed and got up to just peek around his room as you waited. It wasn’t like it was your first time in his room or anything, you just found yourself wanting to take a look around at the stuff he bought since the last time you were over.

The first thing you did was open the drawer on his night stand. “Headphones… charger… cologne… condoms- wait what?!?” you grabbed at the small box, quickly realizing that it was already open.

You felt yourself becoming filled with rage. You tore up the box open finding out there were only 3 left in the box that was supposed to be packed with 10. “What the actually fuck?!?” You and Jin hadn’t slept together yet, so he obviously didn’t use these with you.”He’s cheating on me!”

“You didn’t play the video did you?” Jin’s voice asked as he appeared in the room.

You angry eyes flew on him. “You’re cheating on me?!?” you practically shouted.

He froze. “What?”

You threw the box at him. “Fuck you!”

His eyes followed the flimsy box as it awkwardly dropped to the floor. “Y/n, wait!” he said, blocking you from leaving the room. “It’s not what you think!”

“I don’t want to hear your stupid bullshit! I want to leave!”

“But Jagi, I’ve never even had sex before!”

“You expect me to believe that?!?”

“Look, they came in a gift basket a fan gave us. We decided to keep it. We each have one condom in our wallets just in case. And I’m the only that is keeping the rest cuz I’m the most responsible and they guys have to come to me to get another one. That way I can talk them out of stupid one night stands.

You continued to glare at him. “And you actually expect me to believe that you’re a virgin, “Mr. World wise handsome”, You “third guy from the left”, you literally could have anyone you just look at”

“But I want you! I love you! If I’m gonna sleep with someone, I don’t want it to be just anyone. Jagi believe me. If you go check my wallet, there is still a condom in there. Look, I can go get the rest of the guys to explain, just so that you will believe me.”

His voice drowned out and the only thing you focused on was the fact that he said he loved you. In all you months together he never said it before. “Y-you love me?

He came up closer to you, putting his hands on your waist. “Y/n, of course i love you.”

You held yourself back from hugging him back or giving him a kiss, you still weren’t too sure if you believed him.

“Y/n, please believe me. The other night at your place…What we did.. That was the closest I ever came to having sex.” he said with his face blushing.

“Really?” You said thinking back to when he came over and things got really heated between the two of you.’

“Yeah” he said with embarrassment. “Why did you think I was all giggly and nervous when you took your shirt off.” His face was burning even more.

Jin had never lied to you before. There didn’t seem to be a real reason for him  to lie to you right now, right? If he really did want anyone else, he could have them in a heartbeat. 

With much hesitancy, you hugged him back. “I believe you” you pulled him into a kiss. “And I love you too.”

Suga:

It was movie night at the dorm. You and your boyfriend, the one and only Suga of BTS were cuddled up on one end of the couch, Jhope sat at the other end of the couch. Jimin and rap monster were on the other couch, Jin and V were collecting the snack from the kitchen, and the maknae was out in the city doing his own thing.

“Guys, hurry up I want to start the movie!” Jimin shouted out to the two in the kitchen.

“Dude! We said to fucking wait!” V shouted back.

“Can’t something be done in this dorm without the need for screaming?” Suga groaned.

Being the good girlfriend you were, you covered his ears to protect him from the loud back and forth shouting. In return he gave you a cute smile and a peck on your temple. 

Suddenly the door busted open and the maknae walked in with an out-of-the-ordinary stride and a huge smile on his face. He marched his way into the center of the living room and stood with pride. 

“Jungkook, move you are blocking the TV.” you whined. You knew there was nothing on yet, but the movie was supposed to be played any second. 

Jungkook ignored you and went ahead and spoke. “Is no one going to ask why I am so happy?” he asked loudly.

“We don’t really care Jungkook.” Suga mumbled.

“Well,  I am happy because… I just had sex! And it felt so good!” he practically sang the whole song. 

“So that barista you were talking about?” Rap monster asked, even though he was just as uninterested as everyone else.

“Yup!” Jungkook’s smile grew.

“Yay?” Jimin said with an unimpressed tone.

“What stupid thing is jungkook announcing now?” Jin asked as he an V walked into the room. 

“I had sex!” Jungkook smiled.

“Alright!” V said giving him a high five, the only one to really care about Jungkook’s sex life.

“Can we watching the movie now?” Jhope groaned

“C’mon guys! This is a big moment for me! I’m a man now! We are officially a dorm of men!” 

You almost laughed. “So having sex makes you a man?”

“As a matter of fact, yes it does.” Jungkook said looking over to you. “And now that everyone in this house has had sex at least once, we are now all men.”

Suga rolled his eyes. “This isn’t a “dorm of men” just becuase “we’ve all had sex”. Not all of us here have had sex, but we are just as much men as before you fucked a barista.”

Jungkook looked confused. “What are you talking about, we’ve all slept with someone… Me and the barista, Namjoon and that stylist, Jin and his ex, Tae and the thai girl, Hoseok and that girl at the fan meet, Jimin and his new girlfriend, and you and y/n, so that is all of us.” He completely missed the point Suga was trying to make.

“What? Yoongi and I havent had sex yet!” You said a bit offended.

“Jungkook how stupid are you, I never said anything about having sex with y/n.” Suga pointed out, calming you down about him talking about your relationship with the rest of the guys. “I haven’t had sex with anyone.” he said with a straight face.

“Wait, your a virgin?” you asked the question everyone was about to ask.

“Yeah” he said without any shame or embarrassment.

To you though, this didn’t make sense. “But… But how? I would have thought cuz- Well, girls always throw themselves at you!” 

He only shrugged “I’m not one for random hookups. You are technically my first legit relationship, so I thought I’d wait until you wanted to do it.” 

The boys all looked between one another, just as thrown off as you were. “So…” Jungkook began. “This means I am more of a man than Yoongi.” he said with a smirk

“No you aren’t!” Suga snapped. “Shut up and sit down so we can watch the movie!” 

Jungkook did so, a smirk still on his face as he sat between Jimin and Rap monster. V played the movie and for a second everyone was quiet. 

“…But even I’m not a virgin. Why do you feel the need to like, I don’t know, not start anything with me?” You whispered. You couldn’t let the topic go.

“Shhhh, movie time.” Suga said, his eyes were only on the tv.

But, It wasn’t long into the movie that Jungkook began giggling to himself. It got to the point where V paused the movie. “Dude, shut the fuck up!”

“Sorry sorry, Its just- I am more of a man that Yoongi!” he repeated.

“No you aren’t” you barked.

“Yes I am!

“Oh yeah?

“Yeah! Cuz scinece !” was the Jungkook’s sad explanation

Rap monster just glared at Jungkook, mumbling under his breath. “Tae just press play.”

“You know what?” you stood up ffom the couch. “Yoongi, let’s go to your room!”

Suga let out a groan of annoyance. “Why?”

“So I can make you a man!”

“Ok!” he jumped up and was already leading you to his room.

“Ew! Wait no!” Jhope shouted. “I don’t want to hear you two fuck!” Jimin screamed

“Then leave!” Suga said as he pulled you into his room.

Rap monster:

“Thanks for letting me get ready here!” you said as you tied the rope of your robe around your waist and walked into his bedroom to grabbed your makeup bag.

You could feel his eyes following you as you made your way around the place. “Well, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t let my princess get ready for our dinner date?” he asked as he came up behind you. His arms laced around you as he made eye contact with you through the mirror.

“You are an amazing boyfriend.” you said as you gave him a peck on the cheek.

“Oh, I bet you can give me more than a small kiss”

“I could, but I need to finish getting ready and you need to get dressed!” you reminded.

“Hm, but I don’t want to get dressed.” he hummed as he began kissing your neck.

He worked his way up to your lips and that’s when you were a goner. You couldn’t break away from him and you didn’t want to. It got to the point where he already had you sitting on the restroom counter. He stood between your knees, moving his hands all over you. It was when his hands went up your robe and slowly up your bare thighs that you stopped him. “Namjoon, I don’t want to do that yet.” you said with a heavy breath. “Like I want to, but I don’t want to”

“We can just not go to the restaurant.”  he said as he went for your lips again.

“No, Namjoon, I’m don’t know if I’m ready to have sex yet… I’ve never done it before.” you said softly.

Immediately, the way he looked at you changed and his expression became softer. “Well, I mean, y/n, its just me. You don’t have to be so shy about it. We don’t have to do anything yet, ok.”

“Yeah?” you asked nervously.

“Of course! And between you and me, I’ve never done it before either.”

You raised your eyebrows at him. “Really?”

“Yeah… I just… Kinda wanted to wait for the right person, someone who wasn’t going to use me for my money or like blackmail me or anything.” he shrugged.

“Oh wow.” was all you could say.

He kissed you again, this time in a sweet manner. “So with that being said…I really, really, really, really hope you feel comfortable enough with me to be your first time, cuz I really, really, really, really , really want to have my first time with you.” he smiled.

You smiled back. “Well, I guess we can just see how the date goes and how I feel about everything tonight…Maybe I might change my mind.” you said as you bit your lip.

“Then I’m gonna go change!” he said running out of the room and getting his stuff together.

Jhope:

You first met Hoseok through your jerk ex, Namjoon. He had been one of Namjoon’s best friends and he was the “treats you better than your boyfriend treats you” type of guy. Because of that, you fell for him. Having a better idea of how you should really be treated, you left Namjoon, loosing your group of friends in the process, except for Hosoek. He never left your side, but you weren’t sure if it was because he considered you a great friend or because he had strong feelings for you too.

Right now you were standing in front of the mirror, triple checking your outfit as you thought of things you noticed that made you feel as though he liked you back. He was always with you, always wanting to hang out one way or another.  he never spoke about any other girls with you or anything of the sort. No matter how much you bugged him about revealing crushes or what his type of girl was, he never told you. Since you both hung out alot, the club was always a fun place to go to, but Hoseok never danced with anyone but you (no matter how much other girls begged him). There is a memory with him that always stuck on your head. There was one night where you both got really drunk and just knocked out on his bed and when you woke up he was cuddled next to you.

But there were also alot of things that made you unsure about how he felt for you. He never seemed to make a move on you, ever. You would always try to slip a flirt in here and there and he would just wave it away or ignore it completely. You constantly made attempts to make him jealous, only for them all to fail. He never seemed nervous or upset or nosy about who you went on dates with and always heard you out when you vented about a “current” guy of interest. He never so much as had lingering hugs with you like you did too many times.

You didn’t know how he felt about you, but you were tired of keeping your feelings to yourself. “I don’t care anymore! I am not going another night without him knowing!”

Prior to him showing up you had a few bottles of liquid courage so you probably weren’t in the best mindset. So right now you stood in front of the mirror in your shortest skin tight dress… in hopes of seducing him. Yup, that was really your “best” plan and you had no other plan in mind.

“Ok y/n. You got this. You look hot! Like… so hot Yeah.. Ok … Ok! Hoseok is out there eating chips looking fine as fuck in that outfit you love him in, so you just gotta match his level… ok, ok, ok! I got this!” you said to yourself in the mirror trying to hype yourself as much as possible.

You walked out your room, peeking at him from the hall. Hoseok was just sitting at your kitchen island eating like before, watching the tv that was playing in your living room.

“So how do I look?” you asked strutting into the kitchen, trying to lighten the mood by dramatically posing (lowkey trying to show off your figure). 

He turned over to you, his jaw fell immediately. “W-wow!” His eyes trailed you from head to toe. “…wow”

“And look, feel the fabric!” you ran up to him, grabbed his hands and slid them up and down your waist before he had a chance to say anything. “Its all nice and soft!” you said “innocently”.

He laughed nervously. Uh, yeah, I like it.” he tried to hide his smile, but you didn’t hide yours as his hands stayed on your waist.

You rested your hands on his shoulders. “And what do you think of my new lipstick?” you asked as you puckered your lips. 

“Hot!” he blurted out

“Hot? You think it makes me look hot ?” you smirked.

“No! Well yeah! but like , in a friend way.. but then not! But like I’m not saying you’re not hot, cuz you are, but like ok but yes-”

This was the perfect moment and you took it. You didn’t think twice and you stopped him with a  kiss. Completely thrown off by your action, he pulled back. “Wh-wh- wha?” his face was stuck between a smile and a look of shock and he shook his head unable to process what just happened. “Did you just-” there was a smirk on his face, but it changed again to confusion “But like what?” Through out this whole time, he still didn’t let go of you and that was the only sign you had that he didn’t hate the kiss.

“Well, if my kiss didn’t give it away, I’m trying to show you i like you hobi, I’ve liked you for a long time” you finally said out loud.

“Y-you like me too?” a shy smile grew on his face.

Another burst of energy went through you, “Too? So you like me?” you asked excitedly.

“Well, yeah. I just-” he let out a happy chuckle “I was just scared to tell you…” he admitted. 

“Well, know that we both know our feelings for each other, why don’t we skip club night and go express ourselves in my room?” you asked as seductively as possible as you pulled him into another kiss.

That’s when he face burned red. “…So you mean like… do it? like… sex?” again he was back to being nervous, yet giddy.

“Yeah, what else would I be talking about?” you asked as you tugged on his arm to get up from the chair.

“Well.. the thing is… I never done it before” he said timidly.

“You’re a virgin?”

“…Yeah…”

“Well… we don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. We can just stay here and kiss some more!”

“No! I want to! Like really want to! I… I just don’t want to… disappoint you - cuz like I’ve never done it….” he blushed.

“Oh Hoseok, believe me. If you can move your hips in bed as much as you do on the dance floor, no one is going to be disappointed!”

V:

It was another one of those heated moments between the two of you. You were in his bed, he on top of you and you were so ready to go all the way with him finally. With the way his lips crashed into your and how his hands moved on your body, you just couldn’t contain yourself anymore. You ripped off your shirt and you barely had the time to unhook your bra when his hands were already on the task. It was all so much and before you knew it his lips were all over you. You loved every second of it.

But then suddenly he just stopped! He sat up on top of you, catching his breath. He looked down at you with hungry eyes, but he still did nothing. “Why don’t we go back to the video games?” he asked randomly.

“What?!? Babe, no!” you said, pulling his down again and putting his hands back on you. You attacked his lips and then his neck as you pulled his shirt off.

Again he protested. “Babe, seriously.” he said as he lips left a kiss on your neck. “The game though!”

You could feel yourself becoming filled with insecurity and now you were the one to push his away. “Why do you want to play a stupid game?!? Is there something you don’t like about my body? Did I turn you off?” your voice cracked as you grabbed your short and covered yourself

“No!” He said immediately. “Baby, heck no!” he leaned down on you and kissed deeply you some more. “You are beautiful. I love your body!” he reassured as his arms snaked around you.

“Then what is it? You can’t seriously want to play a stupid video game!” you snapped as you again pushed him off.

“Its just… I’ve never done it before…” he said in almost a whipser.

You turned back to him. “What?!?”

“I’ve never done it before.” he said a bit louder.

“No, like are you serious? You never slept with anyone before?”

“No… And believe me I really, really want to sleep with you, but then I think too much and I stress myself out! I want you to be my first and all that, but I also want to be good for you. I don’t want you to be disappointed with me and whatever” he concluded with a mumble

“Aw, Tae!” you cooed.You grabbed him and pulled him to you again. “Just go with the flow. And trust me, the only way you are disappointing me is baby constantly stopping this from happening! ‘you said as you kissed him again.

He pulled himself up again to say something, but them he stopped himself staring down at you just as lustfully as he did before.

Jimin:

They sat across from each other A small table int he middle of the dimly lit dorm.

“I’m sorry jagi, I really wanted to take you out somewhere… but I didn’t want to risk the fans knowing about you. You are the one aspect about me that is private and i just want to keep it that way.” he said shyly.

Her hand reached for his. “Don’t worry Jimin, as long as I’m with you, I’m happy.”

His smiled widened. “You don’t mean that.”

“Jimin, you spent all day setting up these candles and making this dinner. I really appreciate this! I like that you really do put in time for me. That’s alot more than some people.”

“Yeah… but I kinda over cooked the fish and it’s only candles. It’s nothing too elaborate. I didn’t have as much time as i wanted to make everything how i imagined.”

She stood up from her chair and went up to him. “Scoot back a bit.”

“Why?”

“So I can sit on your lap.”

He did so and she placed herself on his thighs, her arms hung on his shoulders. His had went to her wait, keeping her in place. “Why did you want to sit on my lap?” he played stupid.

“So i can kiss you.” She said bringing her lips to his.

The heating moment was ruined when the front door busted open and his band members stumbled into the dorm. 

“Ugh I feel sick!” Suga groaned, grabbing holding his stomach. “Wooooooooooo!” Jhope howled as he “danced his way to the hallway. “Aaaayyyy, Jimin!” V said stammering up to the two of them.”You lost your V card now? Y/n, did you finally “make him happy” yet” he said through a drunk smile

Jin quickly came up behind V, pulling him away from Jimin and Y/n. “Sorry Jimin. I tried to keep them out longer but it was getting too hard.”

Y/n stood up from his lap, not looking too happy. He had to hurry up and make the guys leave. “Um that’s ok, but can you like make sure they all go to their rooms, so Y/n and I can at least finish eating?”

“Yeah, no problem.” he said giving Jimin and Y/n an awkward smile. Then the was off herding the 5 drunk boys to his room.

“Lose your V card? You’re a virgin?” Y/n’s voice went dark now that the guys were out of the room. She was not happy at all. She crossed her arms. “So this whole dinner was so that I would sleep with you?!? And are you complaining to the rest of the guys that i don’t sleep with you?!? That its my fault you haven’t lost it yet? I thought what happened between us was only between us?!?”

“Jagi, Just calm down a bit.” He said softly.

“I don;t want to fucking calm down! What else do they know about us? What else have you told them about me?!? Or should I ask what have you told them but not me? Cuz I for sure didn’t know you were still a virgin, even though I confessed to you that I wasn’t one anymore! So they know that too or what?!?”

“What? No!  I-I told them i was a virgin just cuz it came up in conversation in practice and they started picking on me, but I never talk to them about us. I never said anything bad about you, ever! Jagi, just let me explain!” he begged.

She stayed quiet, giving him a moment to talk (mostly to just glare at him with threatening eyes).

“So yeah, I’ve never slept with anyone yet, but that’s cuz I never been in a legit relationship and I don;t like the idea of just hooking up with someone and it not meaning anything. And, and, and I remembered how a few weeks ago, you told me you regretted your first time cuz you weren’t too into your ex and he wasn’t even romantic about the whole thing or loving with you in general. So I just thought that, you know, if I show you that even with my schedule, that i really do care for you, and that i don’t want to just sleep with you. Like, yeah i want to sleep with you…really bad. But like, I really do care about you y/n. So, like yeah, Tae said what he said, but the reason behind the dinner was not to get you tpo sleep with me, it was just to like, to show you that i care about us..”

He couldn’t quite determine y/n’s expression. Se didn’t look mad, but she didn’t looked please. She kinda looked like she was thinking things over, but then again he was too busy sweating out his nerves to really concentrate on how she was processing his frazzled explanation.

“…So you really haven’t had sex before?” 

“The more that gets said, the more of a loser I feel I am.” he said, feeling his cheeks burning. “I just never told you cuz I don’t… Its just embarrassing.”

She let out a sigh as she walked back up to  him, gently grabbing his hands. “Its like the more i get to know you, the more I wish Imet you sooner. I regret it even more that I wasted my first time on my loser ex.”

“Well, it’s not like i love you any less just cuz you slept with someone before me.” he reassured. “But you are you still mad?” he asked nervously.

“No.”

“…So what do you want to do now?”

“Why don;t we take this food to my place and finish your wonderful dinner cuz I don;t want to deal with drunk BTS… Then after dinner, we can see what we can do about your V card.” she smirked.

Jungkook:

They sat on the couch watching a movie. Things were going well, Y/n was nestled in his chest, he had his arm around her. and they were cozy under the blanket. everything was great… until a sex scene came on.

Jungkook was suddenly hit with a wave of awkward and sexual tension. and his whole body tensed up. He wanted to know if he was the only one feeling this, so he peeked at y/n from the corner of his eye. To say the least, she was “shookth”. Just as awkwardly as he was, she tensed up too ans leaned away from him. 

That was when he panicked. “She is getting weird to! What do I do?!? Do I fast foward? No! Cuz that means i am acknowledging the awkward! Do I say something? Yes! Wait, no!” Wait, I should! But what?!?” 

The scene was still on. For some reason it never ended. “I HAVEN’T HAD SEX YET!” was what he blurted out. Then he felt mortified. “What did i just say?!?” he screamed internally 

He could feel y/n staring at him, but he didn’t dare move his head towards her. 

“What?” she asked, completely thrown off by his comment.

“I- I said that, uh, that, I- never had sex before…” he grumbled. “Why did i just say that again?!?” he screamed in his mind.

Y/n paused the movie (”thankfully” the sex scene was over). “And you said they why?” she asked,

He firced himself to shrug. “Just wanted to make things less awkward…”

“…I don’t think it worked.”

He forced himself to nod in agreement. He could feel his face burning like crazy.

“…So… You really never slept with anyone before?”

“still a virgin.” He mentally cursed himself for saying it out loud again.

“…Well, if it makes you feel any better… I am a virgin too…”

He let out the air he was holding in his lungs.”really?” he asked finally turning ti her.

“Yeah.”

“Cool - Wait, nit cool? well wait-”

“Jungkook I know what you mean.”

He smiled awkwardly, scratching the back of his head as an excuse to look away from her and recollect his thoughts. “So… Since neither one of us have done it yet… wanna do it?” it was worth asking since they were on the topic now.

“Yeah!”

He jumped up in excitement. “Really?”

“No stupid!” 

“oh.” he mumbled sinking back into his spot. with a pout.

“Maybe later on though… When I’m ready you know.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.’

“…Ok… I can wait till then, I want you to be my first,” he added shyly

“I do too… but i just want to make sure i am sure about it.” she said

-Admin Boat

[cajunroe]

bradray + college!au ↳ ray didn’t believe in love at first sight, but damn it if the world wasn’t testing him. in his four years at the university, he’s never seen anyone like the man that he saw walking across campus. tall, really fucking tall, blonde hair, built like a tank, and when they made eye contact he swore the man felt the same charge he did. and ray? ray was in love. in possible every sense of the word. the man looked at him again, but then he kept walking. ray wanted to chase after the guy, needed to chase after him, there was something that compelled him to go. this was the the nth time he’d seen this guy and everytime he’d just miss him. unfortunately, his class had run over and he was late for work at the local radio station. as he got comfortable in the booth, a thought came to him and he laughed into his intro. if he couldn’t find the, quite possible, love of his life, maybe the love of his life would find him. ray doesn’t think about it, has never really thought the consequences of his actions, but the results of his actions lead to something he never imagined.

ray looked at walt who was shaking his head, but signalling ray’s intro anyway.

he didn’t care if walt thought this was a bad idea, at least it was an idea. walt had offered nothing in return while ray went on and on about the guy he saw.

“ray, i get it. the guy is hot. doesn’t mean you’re in love.”

ray looked intensely at walt, eye narrowing, “he isn’t just hot walt. he’s more than that.”

walt saw how serious ray was, for once nothing but sincerity in his expression, “how do you know?”

ray shrugged and put on his atrocious black and gold sunglass, “i just know.” and went into the booth.

he laughed as the familiar sounds flowed into his ears through the headphones.

“hey everybody! how we doin’? good? alright you guys before we get you all rockin’ and rollin’ like pimps, i have to be honest, i need your help. i’ve seen this guy on campus for the past couple of months. looks like a damn viking, i swear. he’s tall, blonde hair, and blue eyes and he was wearing a black shirt today. not the most specific description, but bear with me, i swear this guy is the one. homes, if any of you saw him or know him, call in. no joke, you guys are the best and i really need your help. okay now with all my beautiful gay shit out of the way, let’s get started with some presley.”

ray queued “i’m all shook up” and smiled when he saw walt roll his eyes and throw his hands into the air.

nate listened to the radio in the car, waiting for brad to get out of class so they could start their project for military strategies.

“...looked like a damn viking...tall, blonde hair, and blue eyes and he was wearing a black shirt.”

nate thought it kind of sounded like brad, but there’s no way.

just then he saw brad walking down the stairs of the history building and choked. he was wearing a black shirt today.

“ray...no fucking way!” he shouted.

he started laughing and didn’t stop until they were on the road and brad asked him, “why the fucking are you laughing like that?” 

nate just shrugged and smiled.

“nothing, how were your classes today?”

“fine.” brad said, clipped. normally he’d be going on a rant about the institution that he was attending and how it’s systematically destroy capitalism or some other tangent.

“what’s on your mind?” nate asked casually, like he wasn’t fishing for information, even though brad knew he was.

“nothing.”

“brad.”

“i saw that guy on campus again today and i don’t know, something happened. it’s weird. everything about it is so fucking weird.”

nate nodded and the two drove as the radio played ‘complicated’ by avril lavigne.

when he heard brad singing along gently, he smiled.

nate wished he could rewind the radio, instead he took the longest way possible to their library, stopping for coffee, in hopes that someone would call and brad could hear it.

so far, they had no luck. six calls in twenty minutes and none of them panned out.

walt chimed in his ear, “ray i think this might be the real deal. line 3.”

ray answered and hit record just in case.

“this is ray ray wattup homes?”

“yeah i know exactly who you’re talking about.”

“okay, wanna be a little less vague man?” 

“look, he’ll be at the library until ten tonight.” 

“okay, you sound like a psycho, but thanks for trying man.”

“i’m not joking. his name is brad and he’ll be there, i promise you.”

the man hung up and ray laughed when walt put his fists in the air, more happy that ray would do his job rather than if he found the guy he hasn’t shut up about.

walt queued him in again after another song finished.

“thanks for all the help everyone! i think i found something legit. thank you caller number seven. now it’s 7:30 everyone, so for the next half hour, you know what that means!”

ray queued a shuffled selection of one direction and left the booth for his break.

walt met him in the hallway and laughed as ray shoved an entire candy bar in his mouth.

“you’re a real catch, person.”

ray smiled, chocolate covering his teeth and dripping out of his mouth.

“fanks falt” ray attempted to say.

he chugged a bottle of water and waited for walt to say whatever he was waiting to say.

“so what’re you gonna do ray?”

“i’m gonna do what i always do hassler, fuck everything up.”

walt smiled and nodded, “good. so long as we’re all on the same page.”

nate hung up the phone just as brad was getting back into the car.

“they didn’t have that gay mineral shit you drink so i grabbed regular water because you should have some sort of balls when it comes to your choice in beverage.”

nate laughed and pulled out of the gas station, “for someone who’s gay, you use that adjective a lot.”

brad smiled as he looked out the window, “yeah, because i know what gay is and mineral water is gay as shit, nate.”

nate just laughed more and turned up the radio.

brad groaned and tried to change it but nate slapped his hand away.

“i hate this guy, he talks too much.”

nate choked on the water he was trying to drink.

brad slapped him on the back a couple times.

“what’s with you today man?”

“n-nothing,” nate gasped. 

they pulled into the library just as ’what makes you beautiful’ started playing.

nate hoped he was right about this, if not he would just end up seeing his two best friends hurt.

ray’s shift ended around nine and it took him thirty minutes to get back to campus because of construction, ten to find a parking spot, and five to make it into the library.

“we close in fifteen minutes,” the uninterested receptionist said without looking up from her magazine.

“yeah i know, i’m not a fucking idiot.”

she looked up, appalled, but ray was already halfway down the hall.

so ray was here, and apparently this brad guy was too. the only problem was that there nine fucking floors and the library was huge. caller seven could’ve at least said where he was going to be.

“fuck!” 

some people at a table nearby shushed him and he held his middle finger up as he walked away.

he sighed, defeated and went outside to smoke and call walt.

“no luck, man. did you know the library was a fucking mansion?”

“did you look on the other floors?”

“no.”

“ray!”

“look walt disney, he probably wasn’t even here. the caller was probably just some fucking prick playing a joke.”

“ray person, you get your gay ass in there and find this guy. i’m not gonna listen to you for the next month whining.”

“but-”

“just go!”

walt hung up abruptly and ray cursed, stubbed out his cigarette and moved to go back inside.

he was checking his phone when he opened the door and didn’t see the someone was walking out.

he crashed into the other person and it felt like he hit a brick wall.

not looking up he yelled, “fuck! watch where you’re fucking walking man.”

“me? you’re too busy looking at your phone to notice someone was fucking walking out.”

ray looked up as the other man looked down and both of their hearts skipped a beat.

“you!” the both said simultaneously.

the stared at one another, both feeling something powerful, but neither knowing what to say. 

“i-” ray started but some opened the door on the other side of him and it knocked him into brad.

“you’re a clumsy piece of shit, aren’t you?” brad asked, not heat in his words, just an odd fondness.

ray looked up to see a bright smile on brad’s face.

“what can i say, bradley? i guess i’m falling for you.” 

in that moment, ray remembered that grandmother always used to say that his mouth moved faster than the speed of light. he assumed she meant that no one could ever catch up, but this time it included himself and he, for once in his light, cursed himself for not thinking before he spoke.

luckily or unluckily, nate chose that moment to interrupt.

“brad the printer in there is fubared, i’ll just print it at my apart-oh...ray....brad...am i interrupting something?”

ray assumed they paint quite the picture. brad was holding onto ray’s arms, tightly if ray was to say anything about it, and ray’s hands were on brad’s broad, warm chest. 

brad pushed ray away, harshly, and said, “no.” 

he turned and walked down the stairs like he hadn’t just broken ray’s heart.

nate waited until brad was far enough away before he turned to ray, “you okay?”

“you?! it was fucking you! and you knew? and let me come here like a fucking idiot?”

nate flinched at ray’s angered passion.

“ray, li-”

“no nate! i thought i could fucking trust you and then you pull this? christ i’ve been talking about this guy for so fucking long and you knew how i felt and you knew the whole fucking time? fuck you nate!” 

ray ran down the stairs as fast as he could.

“ray!” nate tried, but his friend was gone...possibly for good.

“fuck!” 

the group from the table had walked out and gasped at his outburst.

“fuck off,” he shouted at them and walked back to his car.

brad was miserable, he’d, quite literally, pushed away the guy that had been tormenting him for months. he fucked up and he didn’t know why he did what he did.

ray was miserable. he knew he’d fuck things up, like he always did. he just didn’t expect nate, of all people, to fuck him over. 

nate was miserable. mostly because his two best friends were miserable and because ray wouldn’t talk to him. he needed a plan, he needed...he needed walt!

“hey hass, it’s me. listen, what do you think about a party?”

“i think it’s a word. what are you talking about?”

“look i know ray is probably driving you mad with the moping, right?”

“like you would not believe. do you know how many times i’ve had to listen to my heart will go on?”

nate laughed.

“it’s not funny nate! it’s not even the real version! it’s an instrumental and ray sings the whole thing!”

nate laughed harder, “look things aren’t good on my end either. brad won’t talk to anyone and he just stares out the window like a lost puppy. he hasn’t said a single word to me since last week. i don’t know what’s gotten into him.”

walt sighed, “alright look i’ll talk to ray and you talk to brad and we’ll talk tonight and see what’s up. if all else fails, we throw a party and lock them in a room together because our lives are jokes.”

nate found brad where he’d been for the past week, in the chair by the front window, staring outside.

“brad, i know you don’t want to talk, but for it’s been a fucking week. tell me what’s going on.”

brad stared at nate for a long time before looking back out the window and asking nate something he’d never thought brad would ask.

“do you believe in love at first sight?”

nate smiled, “yeah i do.”

“don’t smile. it’s a fucking curse, nate.”

nate frowned, “so you’re in love?”

brad sighed, “i think so, but i fucked it up. it’s weird, ray’s not even my type. like he’s somehow the furthest thing from my type, but i’m drawn to him regardless.”

nate struggled for a response, he wasn’t used to brad being so open. hell, half the time he wasn’t sure brad was feeling anything beside annoyance and tolerance. for brad to talk to him like this, it had to be serious to him.

“so...what do you want to do about it?”

“something. fuck, nothing. i don’t fucking know.”

nate was curious, brad might shut down if he pushed too hard, but he had to try.

“brad, when you think about ray, how do you feel?”

brad was silent for a long time, so long that nate didn’t think he’d answer.

brad whispered, “happy.”

nate smiled, “good. now i have a plan.”

brad rolled his eyes, “your plans never fucking work nate. their snafued before they even start.”

“yeah well half the time it’s because none of you ever fucking listen to me.”

brad smiled and nate was relieved that they were finally getting somewhere.

the part at walt’s apartment was in full swing. music blasting, people dancing, and laughing was heard all around.

ray sat in a corner by the window and ignored all of it. 

walt had tried to talk to him about brad, but ray didn’t say one word, just told him to fuck off and would leave the room.

walt was keeping an eye on his friend when his phone buzzed.

nate: we’re almost there. is he there? 

walt: yeah he’s moping in the corner. you sure this’ll work?

nate: i hope. but it’ll probably be a disaster because brad colbert is acting like a nervous teenager and driving like a madman. we’ll mostly likely be dead by the end of the night.

walt: good thing there’s plenty of booze.

nate and brad walked up to the third floor and to walt’s door.

nate knocked when he heard brad swear.

“what is it?”

“i can’t do this.”

brad turned his back on nate, but didn’t walk away.

“brad.”

brad spoke without turning around.

“no this isn’t something i do, nate. i can’t look at him without feeling like a fucking schoolgirl, okay?”

“b-brad.”

“i’ve barely spoke three sentences to ray and some part of me knows him like the back of my hand and i can’t get him out of my head.”

“BRAD.”

“and it freaks me the fuck out because how do you tell someone, you’ve never really met, that you love them? and i fucking love him.”

“BRAD!”

brad turned around and his heart stopped.

walt heard a knock at the door but was “in the middle of something” and asked ray to get it.

ray sighed and went to open the door, surprised to see nate there, but even more surprised to hear someone yelling in the hall.

nate’s eyes widened and he tried to get brad’s attention.

“...i can’t look at him without feeling like a fucking schoolgirl, okay?”

he tried again.

“...i can’t get him out of my head.”

and again.

“...i fucking love him.”

and the last time worked.

brad stared at ray, whose jaw had nearly hit the floor.

ray stared at brad, who looked like he was about to run away and never come back.

nate looked at the two of them with fondness, “i’m just gonna...i gotta...beer.”

he pushed ray out of the way and slammed and locked the door.

neither man spoke, just awkwardly stared at one another.

ray spoke first, “hi.”

brad released a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.

“hi.”

ray laughed, “well this is the most ridiculous gay shit i’ve been a part of and i’ve done some gay shit let me tell you.”

he was rambling, like usual, but it did the job. brad laughed and stepped a little closer to ray.

then he asked ray the most ridiculous question.

“do you drink mineral water?”

ray scoffed, “i said i’m gay man, not fucking weird.”

brad laughed and moved closer to ray, effective pinning him to the door.

for a long moment they just looked at one another, still feeling that same pull they’d first felt months ago, only this time is was much, much stronger.

“can i kiss you?” brad asked awkwardly, but he needed to know ray was on the same page.

“what the fuck else do you think i want you to do?”

brad smiled, smug and satisfied before he leaned in and kiss ray within an inch of his life.

walt groaned, it was the third day in a row, and ray would not stop playing love songs.

“well gang, that’s a wrap on tonight. i guess i can tell you that your old pal ray ray is officially off the market. in love and gay as hell. my mother would be moderately proud. bradley, this one is for you baby.”

ray queued ‘teenage dirtbag’ and smiled when brad came into the booth.

“that’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me.”

ray smiled, “really?”

“no. now get the fuck up, we both have two days off and i plan on spending the next 48 hours fucking you on every available surface.”

ray groaned, “god i love you.”

brad smiled, the one that told ray everything he needed to know.

“i love you too, shithead.”

...but sometimes he enjoyed hearing it too.

@thebenevolentberserker - thank you! send me a pairing and an au and i’ll make an aesthetic post + ficlet