#level lesson in treating others nicely and not hurting feelings on purpose.

[leolaroot]

kind of funny to scroll thru the tags on that post tho bc 10% of them are people saying "oh my god i hope no one is reblogging this thinking its about queer 🙄 guys this is about ACTUAL slurs." and then 50% of the tags are people saying "i hate when people refer to me using the q slur so much. it makes me so uncomfortable to be constantly called a slur even by people who think theyre being progressive."

[lary-the-lizard]

In my early stages of depression when I was 11-12ish I used to suffer in silence because I had romanticized the noble lonely heroes as a child and learned as a very young child that inconvenient truths would simply not be acknowledged. At 14–15 I made a huge deal because my mental illness had bumped up 2 levels and I was dealing anxiety and dissociating regularly. Then I went back to being quiet to test whether anyone actually wanted alive at all, thinking that if people cared about me they’d notice my absence. It turned into a type of meta-level revenge, where I’d purposely hurt myself and hide it for days and weeks only to reveal it when was so bad that it’d require intervention and my loved ones would have to acknowledge that they were neglecting me. It was like waving their flaws around in their face being like, “haha, it’s the fucking truth I don’t matter so if I kill myself it’s your fault.” Which is indirectly true but also not because my life is ultimately my responsibility. But mental health is a community responsibility and it’s a community failure when an individual has care for themself on their own for the most part. When I got to 19-20 I had grown out of a lot of toxic thought processes and practiced believing that people cared about me and giving them the opportunity to act on it. Through that time to 21 I was consistently suicidal and my mental health was a group issue.

It wasn’t until then that I realized how fucking pathetic and stupid silent suffering is.

I practice good person behavior all the time, I have done this since I was a very young child but recently it’s started to make a lot more cognitive sense than it used to. I used to be nice because I wanted to be admirable, remembered well, someone that people could idolize when I was gone. Then I was nice because I wanted the kids around me to have who I didn’t, someone that’d believe them, support them and protect them. Then I was nice because I needed to be needed. Now I’m nice because everyone deserves to be treated with basic human decency and I just like making people happy.

My kindness and my silence are correlated. Before I didn’t talk about my suffering because my pain made me good, I used it to romanticize the type of person I wanted to be. Now I’m not quiet (unless I forget to talk about it) because I am who I want to be. That’s not to say that I like myself all the time, but I know who I am and what matters to me, I don’t need to make up a story or personality to emulate. And this makes it so much easier to not be self centered prick. I was focused on myself because I needed to be important. I needed reasons to matter, but when I act on the belief that I do instead of trying to make someone I think is lovable, I have so much more energy to just be kind and receive kindness.

The lesson here is, take care of yourself but focus on your existence outside of yourself. If your world is made of up entirely on your inner self of course you’d hate yourself, you are all there is to feel anything about. Suffering in silence does not make you selfless or romantic. It makes you self centered and annoying. You have to think about others to be kind.

[superbdragoncollection-stuff]

Amphibia Contradicts Itself

To be clear, I love the girls so much. I just don't understand why the show doesn't.

The ending actively harms every other theme in the show, it feels as if it implies their friendship is actively harmful to their development as people. And it implies found family is fake, temporary, and to be abandoned as part of growing up.

It completely defeats the purpose of everything it set up with a little sentence. "Ten years later". The girls have never spoken. They never saw their frog families again. And Matt Braly thinks this is "sweet".

When talking about the unbreakable bonds of friendship, My Little Pony at least shows how beneficial being friends can be. It literally can change the world. They're nice to each other, they're kind, and they love each other. They actively make one another's lives easier.

Through Amphibia the girls are shown to have various influences on one another. They needed some time apart, before they came back together to improve. Okay, that's good. That's nice.

Then they separate and never speak for ten years. What was the point of the show then? "Your friends will still be your friends ten years later". Okay?? So?? WHAT ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE?! Is this really the conclusion? After everything they've been through, they're supposed to separate?! That's it?! How is that good?! How does this mean anything?!

They spent all this time building up relationships that improve mental health... that's all they do? Sure that's good, but at what cost? They lost EVERYTHING. They lost their frog families, they lost each other. But it's okay. They're slightly less mean.

They lost their found families and never felt upset. For a story that talks about the concept, it feels like it implies found family is fake, temporary, and to be abandoned as a part of growing up. That's agreeing with the villains! "Don't you think it's time to leave those childhood friends behind?"

The show feels as if it prioritizes biological family over found family. A cruel and heartless monster forced them to choose which family members they loved the most. Who does that?! And why was it treated as a POSITIVE?! And the creature only did it because their awful and cruel plan to get an intern failed.

The show feels like it agrees with the villains. Amphibia was emphasized to be a real world not a fantasy in True Colors, but then the show turns around and goes "time to grow up now!" So that means that the Amphibians are childhood things. To be abandoned.

One of the biggest contradictions though is the Calamity Trio are never shown to improve one another's lives when they are all together. Even when they seemingly improve, like Sasha defends them from bullies, that is all undermined by the show's ultimate conclusion: the girls must never be together again.

When Sasha teamed up with Anne and Marcy in season 1, it was a manipulative relationship.

Season 2 it was a lie. Sasha only was friends to control them. When they finally genuinely joined up, they failed so miserably Marcy was nearly killed.

Season 3? They are only ever successful when they are apart. Sasha wins with the help of Grime. Anne wins without any assistance aside from a joke about kpop. Marcy doesn't win. She doesn't get to win.

They finally win BECAUSE Sasha and Marcy retreat, not in spite of it. Anne must do it alone. Notice a pattern? It feels like we never see any benefit to them that's long term. Love and affection? At what cost?

Sasha's lessons? "Don't be a bully" Anne's lessons? "Stand up for yourself" Marcy's lessons? "Never under any circumstances do anything for yourself. You will hurt your friends. Always obey your parents, NEVER, EVER disobey them."

I don't give a crap what Matt Braly tweeted. I should not need social media posts to determine what is canon and what is not! This "typo" or "mistake" actively harms the show to a level it can't recover. The girls NEVER spoke for ten years. THAT'S WHAT THE SHOW IMPLIES.

And the show actively implies that the girls would be better off if they never met. Remember that pattern? We never see their friendships actually improving anything in a way that didn't blow up in their faces. It was their relationship with other people that made the difference.

They might be in a slightly better place mentally, yet they've lost everything else. The show feels like it is implying if they never met, they'd be better off. Nothing between them improved their lives. True Colors and All In show that when they work together, PEOPLE DIE. Anne won only because the other girls LEFT her.

They only ever improved by being apart. So what was the point of being in Amphibia then? If they had never met, nothing in the show would have happened.

The show directly contradicts itself. Matt supposedly didn't want to put Sasha's parents in the show so she wouldn't have someone to blame. If that's true, then that means that this is all Sasha's fault. Same with Marcy. By refusing to expand on the implications of child abuse, or any outside factors at all, the show concludes that the girls would be better off alone. Without anyone to slow them down.

And worse? Matt said in 2023, "It wouldn't be realistic, I didn't want them going on adventures ad nauseum". So why do ALL the frogs get to stay together? Sprig and Ivy GET to do that! Why must the girls be separated permanently, while the frogs get to live together? Why do they get to stay together while the girls are forced apart?

The ending, trying to be sweet, feels as if it directly agrees with the villains.

WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THE ENTIRE SERIES? If them being apart was what made them grow, shouldn't the end be them reuniting at the end of the show instead of separating for a decade, never even seeing one another, and then reuniting? How is this positive? Why SHOULD they even reunite? What's the point of anything if it's all going to get taken away? That's what Andrias believed, and it feels like the show agrees with it.

What's the point of these relationships if they're all going to get taken away? What's the point of ANYTHING? That is how the show makes me feel.

For a conclusion about how you never know how things will come back, it does a GREAT job of making sure NOTHING comes back. There are no plot threads.

What was the point of any of this? It doesn't feel like things will come back. It doesn't make me feel warm and snuggly. It makes me feel angry, sad, and bitter. It makes me wonder what the point of anything is.

[syrips]

religion ramble below, not trauma/negative stuff, just a random reflection on something i noticed, with a mix of a dnd thing i love

kinda long. tl;dr at the bottom

so, i dont consider myself religious but i consider myself spiritual, i like to read religious, philosophical, sentimental texts/art. i like to enjoy the potential meaning, lesson, and purpose behind them; and, regardless of what i do/dont believe, it makes me feel a personal, human connection with people, in the past, present, and future, that will read/see the same things i did. and, just maybe, they will connect or experience it in a similar way that i did. but, even if they didnt, especially if they didnt, it just reminds us of how unique each of us are

but anyways, the above was just for context. the main thing i wanted to talk about was related to dnd, the deity ilmater. i know fictional deities are based/similar to religious figures irl, (so im not viewing ilmater as a 'real' religious figure,) but there's something that deeply connects me spiritually to the entire concept of ilmater and the fictional religion.

the act of wanting to take away people's burdens, the act of wanting to ease their pain and suffering, even at the point of lying to them to ease their pain. even at the point of sacrificing yourself for the sake of others, no matter how evil, cruel, wicked, irredeemable they are. if anything, it is especially because of how evil, cruel, wicked they are, that you wish to take away their pain. to ease their pain, no matter how cruel they are. no matter how intentional their evil deeds are. and yet, i cant help but be in awe of that level of spirituality. (i know ilmater has limits, but i think i would seek peace for everyone, even if it is a pipe dream.) it soothes my irl heart and, even if i were to be hurt from it, it feels nice to be at such a level of peace and kindness.

obviously though, the irl world is too complex for such a 'simple' plan of easing everyone's suffering instantly like that. but still, it's nice to dream, or try, with the things that i could control. maybe i cant help someone undo something toxic, but i could help take an animal/insect out of my home and place them back in their own home. i could clean up litter without minding how or why the previous people left it there. i could thank the cashier and wish them a nice day. i could smile at everyone, greet everyone, treat them kind. not because of who they may potentially be, but because of who i know i am

but, i dont know, back to the dnd thing. im surprised at how 'small' / 'mortal' ilmater seems to be seen compared to other deities (in the fictional world). and yet, it feels even more niche and personal to me because of that. ilmater's entire concept (as well as their stereotyped followers) feel like they are the 'doormat', the 'pushover', the 'weak', the 'pathetic', the 'ignorant', the 'naive'. etc. but what's wrong with being the pathetic, weak, naive? what's wrong with seeing the best in people, even if - especially if - they don't even see that in themselves? what's wrong with having rose colored glasses, and tending to them as if they were the roses i see them as? what if i'm okay with getting pricked by their intentional thorns, with the chance to help them just to grow a little bit?

obviously, for my own health and the health of others though, i cant do that safely irl. i can't let a dangerous person roam freely in anothers' safe place. but, i can wish and direct them to how they can take accountability for themselves, to wish them to rehabilitate safely into society. to wish for them to smile, laugh, and feel peace, by doing actions that harm no one, not even consequently themselves. to love them from afar, not excusing their behaviors, but bringing awareness to their actions, to help them become better people, if even, by just a little

ok i rambled far enough to not remember the point of this post, goodbye hehe

tl,dr - gonna self insert SO hard in my ilmater PCs

[strawberrystar7]

I think People misunderstood Chloé's arc and the season 3 finale (and especially Chloé's role in it.). And here is why I think that.

This is a really long post and I know it's hard to keep reading something as long as this but please, I ask you, either do not read it at all if you don't want to read something like this or read it completely. If you do decide to read this but stop in the middle because you want to comment on something I ask you to not do that. Please read all of it thoroughly. If you want to comment on something, take notes but don't post it before having read all, because if you do not read all you probably won't understand it correctly. Additionally, some things might have been answered later on in the post.

I think the true lesson the writers wanted to give with Chloé's arc and especially the Season 3 finale is that it's good to be forgiving and give second or maybe even 3rd chances but you shouldn't try and help someone who doesn't want to change. There was a time where she maybe wanted to change... I put the maybe there on purpose. This is because if I look at Chloé's behavior it isn't entirely clear if she ever wanted to change because she wants to help others or if she just wanted to "change" so she can have the Bee Miraculous.

Chloé's arc in actuality was a treason arc. It wasn't a redemption arc. On the surface it may have looked like one but if you look deeper I think you'll see the signs.

I know I am gonna get hate for saying the next bit but if you look closely (and I mean very closely) at Chloé's actions then you'll see what I mean. In season 1 Chloe was a stereotypical bully. In season 2 she actually got a backstory, explaining her actions. It basically made her look more like a real person. But even so her actions didn't really change. She stayed a bully. On surface level her actions did change a little, but on a lower level they didn't.

What do I mean with that? Take Despair Bear as an example she threw a party and invitated all her classmates. In itself that's a nice action but do you remember the reason why she threw the party? Adrien threatened to break up their friendship if she wasn't nicer to people. So her Butler Jean gave her the idea with the party and that she should be nice. 

Yeah, I know this happened before the Queen's Battle trilogy (I know it's actually just a 2 part episode (Style Queen and Queen Wasp) but I count Malediktator as a 3rd part because it pretty much is a direct follow up to Queen Wasp.) but this is supposed to serve as an example for Chloé's behavior in season 2.

Now look at Zombizou. Chloé gave Miss Bustier a present the day after her birthday. Do you remember why this happened? Marinette called Chloé out for not having brought one and pretty much embarrassed her infront of the class (I know the way she called her out was mean but that's not the point here). In the end Chloé most likely would never have brought a gift if this didn't happen.

I think this Episode also came before the Queens Battle trilogy but I'm not sure. Anyway even if it was before, it still shows how Chloé behaves most of the time when she does good things.

Now let's look at the Queen's Battle trilogy. In the Style Queen episode we see for the first time how Audrey treats Chloé and while it does explain why Chloé does what she does it doesn't mean her actions are excusable. It makes her actions understandable to the viewers and it makes her, as already mentioned, look more like an actual human being. In that episode we do not really see any more about Chloé and her past or actions besides her finding the Box with the Bee Miraculous.

After that Queen Wasp follows. In this episode the first scene where Chloe plays a rather major role is the scene with Gabriel Agreste, Audrey Bourgeois, André Bourgeois, Tom Dupain, Sabine Cheng, Adrien Agreste, Marinette Dupain-Cheng and of course Chloé Bourgeois. In this scene we see Audrey taking Marinette's feather hat after it rolls infront of her. She inspects it and remarks that it isn't Gabriel's. She then asks if Marinette is responsible for the hat, which Marinette replies to with her having created the hat. You know the rest Gabriel admits she won a fashion contest, Audrey remarks the hat is "exceptional", and then she asks Marinette if she wants to go to New York. That is where Chloé comes in, claiming to never having been in New York. She also asked why she was taking Marinette. Audrey replies with Marinette being "exceptional". Chloé then says that she's "exceptional" too. Audrey then says the following "The only exeptionial thing about you, my dear... is your mother.". I think you know the rest André tries to step in but is interrupted by Chloé who transforms into Queen Bee infront of everyone to proof that she is exceptional.

This wasn't simply to prove her mother wrong tho. She did it to prove to everyone that she's exceptional and her behaviors later on that episode prove that exact point. Queen Bee then disappears.

The others go home and Queen Bee looks around the city to see if there's anything she can do but doesn't find anyone who needs saving. She then thinks of that plan with the train and calls Nadja Chamak to gain publicity for her heroic deeds. As already mentioned this pretty much proves my point. If she really jzst wanted to prove Audrey wrong then why call in one of Paris's star reporters?

After the call she heads towards the metro. She runs on the side of the metro and enters the driver's room. She then Calls out her venom and numbs the driver. The metro speeds up and Queen Bee turns on the metro TV saying she'll save them (this pretty much was to gain even more publicity). Queen Bee isn't able to stop the metro and Ladybug and Cat Noir come in to help stop the metro. Ladybug calls Chloé out for numbing the train driver and Nadja Chamak comes with Audrey Bourgeois on a live call. Audrey then says the following "What? Regarding my daughter's ineptitude? I think it speaks for itself, doesn't it?". Ladybug asks Chloé to give the Miraculous back but Chloé keeps it and runs away with it. Queen Bee then gets akumatized before she transforms back causing her to turn in Queen Wasp. I don't think it's important to mention what happened while she was Queen Wasp because in this case she wasn't willingly akumatized just like Antibug which also means she wasn't herself unlike Chameleon and Miracle Queen who both were willingly akumatized and both kinda knew what happened while they were akumatized.).

When she gets deakumatized Marinette later comes in and tries to help fix Chloé's and Audrey's relationship (atleast as much as it can be fixed) by pretty much insulting both of them and saying "You're also wrong about your daughter not being exceptional. In fact, Chloé is exceptionally mean. She's the worst person I've ever met. She may be more heinous, pompous and selfish than you. Compared to both of you, even a rock seems more capable of love.". Chloé and Audrey then pretty much shout at the same time "How dare you⁈". They then see they do have a lot in common. The episode then pretty much ends after 2 more short scenes (both scenes do not have anything to do with Chloé so I don't think they are important.).

Now let's look at Malediktator. The episode starts with Chloé's documentary about Queen Bee where Chloé-Bee and Chloé-Bug (I'm gonna call her that because that's Chloé with a Queen Bee costume and Chloé with a Ladybug costume) talk about how great of a superhero Queen Bee is. Then it zooms out to reveal that the documentary is watched by Chloé's classmates.

Ivan then points out that isn't Ladybug. Chloé says it is Ladybug and Miss Bustier asks why Chloé did the assignment about herself.

Chloé then says they were supposed to choose an important person in French history. Chloé-Bug talks more about Queen Bee. Alya then points out that's Chloé with a Ladybug costume. This discussion goes on for a bit until Chloé leaves.

Chloé and Audrey then storm in to André's office while a pair is getting married. They force them out and Audrey tells André to close the school while Chloé tells him to ban Marinette and her family.

Audrey then says the following "That monster hurt your little girl’s feelings.". Chloé adds "She got the whole class to gang up on me. They all have to pay.". You probably know the rest. André says he can't do that and Chloé and Audrey leave him alone in his office and say they'll leave for New York. Chloé is then in the Bourgeois suite packing (or more like telling her Butler to pack for her.) André comes in to argue with Chloé and Audrey to stay in Versailles or near Paris.

Hawk Moth akumatizes André after Audrey and Chloé leave with the helicopter.

Chloé flies over the school with her helicopter, throwing flyers showing Chloé in front of the statue of liberty and saying she'll leave for New York. The students celebrate after Chloé leaves.

Malediktator stops the helicopter and says he has the power to close the school and banish the students who were mean to her. He then commands Audrey to be devoted to him and stay in Paris. Chloé runs away/hides. Some time passes and Ladybug goes to Chloé asking her why Malediktator is mad.

Chloé doesn't want to say at first and blames Marinette, then saying André got mad all by himself but then she admits to being the cause of her fathers akumatization.

Then this happens:

Ladybug: Because of what happened in school? I'm sure Marinette probably didn't exactly mean what she said.

Chloé: Oh, it's not just her— actually, I don't even care about her— it's because I have no reason to be here: nobody likes me; I have no friends. I'm… useless.

Ladybug: (remembering what Adrien told Marinette earlier at school about Chloé) A friend once told me: nobody is useless, Chloé.

Chloé: It's easy for you to say that. You're Ladybug, a superhero. You serve a purpose.

Ladybug: Yes, I can fix up all the messes. You said it yourself in your documentary.

Chloé: (gasps) You saw it?!

Ladybug: (nods) Mm-hmm.

Chloé: Oh! I'm so embarrassed. That film's ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. I realize that now.

Ladybug: Don't worry Chloé. You can fix your own messes, if that's what you want. You, too, can serve a purpose, but you have to want to.

Chloé: (sniffles) I do want to.

Ladybug: Chloé Bourgeois, (holds out the Miraculous box) here is the Bee Miraculous, which grants you the power to immobilize your opponent. You will use it for the greater good.

(Chloé hesitates; Ladybug nods approvingly; Chloé takes the box and opens it; a yellow ball of light flies around her and Pollen appears.)

Pollen: At your service, my Queen.

Ladybug: Once the job is complete, you will return the Miraculous to me. Can I trust you, Chloé?

Chloé: (puts the haircomb in her hair) I won't disappoint you this time, Ladybug.

Then Chloé transforms into Queen Bee.

Queen Bee and Ladybug (with the help of Cat!Cat Noir) defeat Malediktator.

Then this happens:

Ladybug: Yep, you missed Queen Bee and Ladybug saving Paris, for real this time.

Queen Bee: I understand, Ladybug. Buzz off. (transforms back into Chloé)

Chloé: (gives back her Miraculous) Being a superhero isn't only about fixing messes. (Ladybug holds up her hand in a fist; Chloé gasps and smiles)

Chloé and Ladybug: (fist-bump) Pound it!

After that Chloé and her family leave.

Then this happens:

Chloé: It's okay, Jean-Yves; I'll take care of it.

Butler Jean: Mademoiselle, are you sure?

Chloé: Yes, I need to do it myself.

Marinette: Chloé?

Chloé: (gasps) Dupain-Cheng?

After that Marinette brings Chloé to the school showing her they threw a party for her. That's pretty much how the episode ends.

I guess this is the episode (Malediktator) that convinced everyone Chloé was changing (and maybe at this point in time she truly did want to change. But I'll explain later on in the text why it did not work out.). After all it literally showed scenes where Chloé was nice without her benefitting from it. And honestly the earlier episodes did not show that Chloé was going to change. The earlier episodes gave depth to her character and kinda explained her actions but they didn't really make her look like she wanted to change. The end of the Malediktator episode tho? It did look like she wanted to change or atleast it made it seem like that. But as I implied Chloé's arc is way more complicated than you think. It can't be just written of as bad or inconsistent writing. Read more and you'll see exactly why this isn't just inconsistent/bad writing.

I don't think we saw much of Chloé in the season 2 finale besides her appearance as Queen Bee again. But honestly I do not remember much about the season 2 finale anyway.

Now let's look at season 3. (I just remembered I forgot about Animaestro. I forgot where in the season that happened but I just put it in the beginning because I feel like it would ruin the flow of the text.) In Animaestro Chloé literally teams up with Marinette to ruin Kagami's day (This was just to show that Chloé still did stuff like in season 1). Anyway, not only is it pretty clear that Chloé would love to be Queen Bee again but she also probably would do anything to be Queen Bee again. So she constantly asks for her Miraculous (seen in Startrain and other episodes) or she pretty much shows everyone how proud she is of being Queen Bee, seeking attention for that (Maledikator). In Miraculer Chloé waits to get her Miraculous but doesn't get it. Then Lila tells Chloé about a fake dance which summons Ladybug. Chloé gets really angry when the dance failed and then lashes out at Sabrina telling her she doesn't want to play with her. Chloé then breaks down after not getting the Miraculous for some time, resulting into the scene where Chloé resists getting akumatized. Instead, Sabrina is the one getting akumatized. Some time later a cataclysmed Cat Noir tries to give Chloé the Miraculous but because of his cataclysmed rips he ends up loosing the Miraculous to Mayura.

You probably know the rest. Rena Rouge makes a Chloé illusion in Ladybug's place, Ladybug gets her powers back, Chloé makes Miraculer even angrier, Ladybug (with the help of Cat Noir, Rena Rouge, Carapace) gets the Bee Miraculous back and gives it to Chloé. Chloé follows Mayura but looses her. After the fight Ladybug talks to Chloé.

This happens:

Queen Bee: Ladybug. Mayura got away from me. I'm sorry, utterly sorry.

Ladybug: That's okay, Queen Bee. We'll get her next time. (reaches hand out for the Bee Miraculous)

Queen Bee: If you'd given it to me earlier, we'd probably would've defeated Hawk Moth.

Ladybug: I'm sorry, Chloé. I should've told you this a long time ago. I might never be able to let you be Queen Bee again.

Queen Bee: What? But I did everything you asked me to.

Ladybug: I know. But this is for your own safety. It's too dangerous for you and your loved ones because Hawk Moth knows that you're Queen Bee.

Queen Bee: Buzz off. (turns back into Chloé and gives Miraculous to Ladybug)

Chloé: I understand. But I'm sure that you'll need me again, Ladybug. I know that I'll be Queen Bee again someday. I will always be Queen Bee.

Ladybug: (notices her Miraculous beeping) Thank you, Chloé. Let's go. (takes off with Rena Rouge and Carapace)

Despite saying that Chloé said she understood she can't have the Miraculous anymore she did not understand.

I know one of the arguments people have was that if Ladybug stayed longer to explain more thoroughly Chloé would have understood. But what do you want Ladybug to do? Risk her identity? She was on her last 5 minutes. Probably less considering how a couple minutes probably flew by from the moment she called out her lucky charm to the moment she called out Miraculous Ladybug. So probably 2 or 3 minutes were already gone from her timer. Additionally, she still needs atleast a minute to not risk her identity getting revealed while she takes Rena Rouge's and Carapace's Miraculous. There was no more time to spare. Despite that I don't really think Chloé would have understood even if Ladybug had more than 2 minutes to spare. Not with how self-centered she is.

Well there had been some smaller incidents with Chloé treating people badly (Animaestro fo example) but that aside those were small moments. I think the next big Chloé moment would pretty much be Heart Hunter and Miracle Queen. Heart Hunter proved that Chloé did not learn from what Ladybug said. She still waited on her rooftop with her Bee signal for Ladybug to come and give her the Miraculous. In the end of the episode we see her so angry at Ladybug for not giving her the Miraculous that she willingly worked with Hawk Moth and actively forcing her will onto Pollen.

This is what happens:

Hawk Moth: (puts up his hand and interrupts) You're right, but I did it for one reason only. So that you would finally realize that Ladybug will never give you the Bee Miraculous again. I, however, always keep my promises. (shows her the Bee Miraculous in his hand)

Chloé: This isn't real! How do you have it?

Hawk Moth: Try it and see for yourself. You're Ladybug's greatest fan. You've helped her, you've trusted her, and what has she done for you in return?

Chloé: (gets angry) Nothing! She couldn't care less about me! I'm done with her. She's irrelevant, utterly irrelevant! (reaches out to grap the Miraculous, stops) I want you to deakumatize has my parents first!

Hawk Moth: Whatever you say, my queen. (Chloé takes the comb and puts it in her hair, releasing Pollen)

Pollen: (urgently) Your majesty, wait!-

Chloé: Silence! You will speak only when spoken to. Your loss, Ladybug. Pollen, buzz on! (transforms into Queen Bee)

She then gets willingly akumatized.

In Miracle Queen we then see her actively work for Hawk Moth, even revealing all the Miraculous Holders. After she gets deakumatized she seems to still have her memory, considering how she wasn't disoriented like every other Akuma Victim. She even jumps after another Akuma.

Chloé also does and says the following "I'm not on your side anymore! How many times have I asked to fight alongside you? And how many times have you refused to give me back my Miraculous? How many, huh? Hawk Moth isn't my enemy, he's yours! And the Miracle Box is mine! (Queen Bee slams down the Miracle Box, and opening it, starts putting on all of the Miraculouses)".

This pretty much proves my point further. Chloé never let go of the Bee Miraculous, thinking it was her own and she had every right to obtain it whenever she wants. The fact that she's only concerned about getting the Miraculous even proves further that she doesn't really care about helping others. All she cares about is her self and as established before this had always been the case. Even in the Queen's Battle trilogy.

Think about it. Chloé is so deadset on keeping the Bee Miraculous that she would do anything. And if I say anything I mean anything. She literally worked with Hawk Moth to get the Miraculous. So if getting the Miraculous and all the attention that comes with it means that she has to help others she'd gladly do it. If helping others means she gets attention she'd gladly do it. We've seen it in Despair Bear and other episodes. Ladybug used to be Chloé's idol so to get her attention she pushed the mind controlled Cat Noir away. To get Adrien's attention she threw the party and was nice to the others. But the moment people didn't look she acted mean. This isn't even the only season 2 or 3 episode this happened. It is totally in character for Chloé to have reacted the way she did in the season 3 finale. Just because she turned bad again doesn't mean she's a 2 dimensional character. She still has the same backstory and all as she had before. The only difference here is that she openly worked with Hawk Moth. So why is she suddenly a horribly written character? Just because she worked with Hawk Moth?

Well let me tell you something: Just look at her relationship with her father. He never denied her anything. He always did everything she wanted. She would throw a tantrum if she doesn't get what she wants. So don't you think it's totally in character for Chloé to react the way she did when Ladybug refused to give her the Miraculous? It's the equivalent to the tantrum of a spoiled rich girl (or boy) would throw if they don't get what they want. The only difference here being that a magical terrorist pretty much took advantage of that tantrum.

As you can see the way she acted was not out of character. It was completely in character for Chloé. In fact, it was so in character that if we've taken the time to truly look at her then we all would have seen it. I gotta admit, I myself got completely deceived the first time I watched Malediktator and Miraculer. I myself thought, maybe she could change (and I still think so). The first time I watched Heart Hunter and Miracle Queen I also thought it was bad writing and I also hated that finale. I thought they did her dirty. I literally blamed the writers like all the others and stated on YouTube how bad of a Episode that was. But now? Now that I actually took the time to rewatch the Episodes (not just the finale but generally any episode) over and over again just to see all the small details people talked about that I never noticed, I noticed those details about Chloé that I didn't before.

People always claim the finale is horrible because they made Chloé out of character... but... In fact, the Season 3 finale is actually good. It may have some plot holes because the writing of the show honestly sometimes isn't the best. There's some episodes that are badly written and have loads of plot holes. But the season 3 finale? It might just be one of the better written episodes. And that only because of the fact that they sticked to how a girl like Chloé would actually react to getting told off like that. And I know for a fact that girls as spoiled as Chloé would react like that because I met a fair share of people like that. They all threw a huge tantrum when they got told off.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying Chloé doesn't have the potential to change. Infact, she definitely has the potential to change. But not like this. Chloé needs to hit rock bottom before she can actually change. And no, getting told you can't have the Bee Miraculous anymore is not rock bottom. The first thing that needs to happen is for her father to stand up to her. And as seen in (⚠️Season 4 Spoiler warning⚠️) Queen Banana André finally did stand up to Chloé. If he keeps that up that might be good start (⚠️End of Spoiler⚠️). After Chloé doesn't get everything she wants from her father anymore there's two things that can happen: Either she becomes a complete lost cause and doesn't learn anything from it or rather she doesn't want to learn or she learns that not everything will always go her way and that she can't have everything (specifically the Bee Miraculous, as you can't buy it.). This also might cause her to become less selfish and start thinking more about the others. Even if that doesn't happen maybe Zoé (because she's Chloé's half sister) or Adrien (because he is/was Chloé's childhood best friend and would love to help her) could come in to help Chloé become less selfish. But again for that to happen Chloé first needs to learn that not everything goes how she wants it and she can't have everything. And again this won't happen if everything is handed to her like it has been all these years.

Please understand that I am not hating on Chloé. Chloé may even be one of my favorite characters for the exact reasons I mentioned here. Because even tho she's a stereotypical bully she has depth to her character. And if she'll ever truly change she'd might just become one of the more relatable characters in the show.

And I know I am none of the writers so I do not know what they thought while writing the finale and the rest of Chloé's arc but to me this seems like the most logical explanation. I do not think the writers hate Chloé. That just makes no sense. They have developed her past and backstory and stuff like that way too much for them to hate her. If they truly hated her I don't even think they would have developed her character like that. If they truly hated her they would have left her like Lila with little to no information about her past or basically anything that explains her actions.

So please, I ask you please do not harass the writers for their decisions. Just please for once try to understand their thought process. Maybe you just didn't truly understand what they meant because as I explained Chloé's arc was deceiving. On the surface it looked like a redemption arc but truly it wasn't.

I am not claiming to have fully understood what the writers where trying to say but I do think I got close to what they were trying to say. I am also very sorry if I might have not been able to explain some of the points well. While I did rewatch every episode while writing this I did not want to put in every single episode (which might have gotten my points across even better) as the post has already gotten way too long. Not many people like to read much so probably only a few will even have read this completely. But to those who did take the time to read it all, thank you for having taken the time. I'd really like to hear your opinion on my take on this topic. Because while I do think this might be somewhat close to what the writers where trying to do it most likely isn't exactly what they wanted. I'd really like to hear your opinion on my take on this topic. Because as I said while I do think this might be somewhat close to what the writers where trying to do it most likely isn't exactly what they wanted. Maybe some of you have something to debunk or maybe even strengthen my points. Both is fine as long as everyone's nice towards each other. I do not want to see some kind of war. So please be kind towards each other.

[implexedactions]

Hello, Little One - Shoto Todoroki

So, do any of you like microphilia? No? Didn’t think so, but here it is anyway! A yandere giant Shoto Todoroki

Shoto is aged up and a pro hero!

Warning for Yandere Content and Microphilia

Beta’d by best person: @patchworkpiper​

---

“Hello, little one.”

You shudder at the sound of his voice as he steps through the door. What had been a nice nap to escape from reality was pulled away as you found yourself once again in this prison. You move off of the small bed, and to the bars of the metal cage you’re trapped in.

You barely knew why you were bothering to respond at this point, but he was the only human you had seen in…however long you have been here. The room you were in seemed to have the singular purpose of housing you, with very little else here. Your cage was in the north of the rectangular room on a table, with the door at the south, and the couch along the west wall. There was a large window (deadbolted with curtains, of course) in the east wall.

As his colossal form walks through the room towards you, his footsteps shake your cage. Shoto Todoroki, one of the city’s most well-known hero’s strolls over to you. He crouches down, his cold eyes peering through the bars at your tiny 2-inch form.

“How is my favourite little pet doing?” He questions, as you hide behind blankets and pillows. He is standing at his full height, making you eye level with his crotch. Looking down from his nose at you.

“Terribly. I hate it here. I want to go home. I wish you would die.” You state listlessly back to him.

His eyes thin as he sighs, exasperated.

“We have already gone over this, MULTIPLE times… If I let you out, you won’t be mine. You won’t be safe anymore. That would be unacceptable.” You feel the room get warmer as he grows more tired of your antics. You guess today wasn’t a good day at work.

“I’m not yours! You just stole me and shrank me!” You shout back at him, voice rising as you get angrier and angrier.

“…Pet, disrespect is not welcome here. I’m willing to overlook the odd comment here and there, but you know what will happen if you fight back…” His threat hangs in the air, as you reminisce about…that day.

--

“Little one, stop struggling, I NEED to wash you.” Probing hands prodded at your form as you moved backwards in the small basin, huddling in a corner, treading water, and using your nails to try and dig into his skin whenever it came close.

“Fine then. I hope you learn your lesson, brat.” His fingers grabbed you and shoved you underwater. You tried with all your might to pry them off, but they wouldn’t budge. Your breath was running out, lungs burning as your brain tried to force you to take a breath.

--

“…Sorry…” You avoid his eyes and look at the ground, hiding your face.

“Now little one, I have a surprise for you. I’m SURE you’ll appreciate it, right?”

He opens the cage door, reaching his hand in and grabbing you. His fingers close forcefully around you as he stands and strolls to the couch. Sitting upon it, he places you on his lap. You try not to think of which organ you're standing on as he continues speaking.

“Close your eyes for me, okay? I’m sure you’ll love it. I’ll have to touch you to put it on, but I promise I’ll be gentle.”

You close your eyes. You’ve already been disrespectful, and there’s only so far you can push Shoto before he’ll push back.

As he touches your neck, a bell is heard. Something coarse gets wrapped around your shaking neck with gentle precision. You open your eyes and your hand touches what you assume to be a collar. He brings a mirror up, so you’re able to see it in better detail. You see a red collar, sturdy and utilitarian. It carries with it a small gold bell, which jingles when shaken. It also has a nametag at the front.

“It says ‘pet’, in case you were wondering. I’m unsure if you can still read to be honest…It HAS been a while since you were intellectually challenged; living this life of luxury and whatnot.”

“I can still read!”

“Now THAT is a shock.”

“I don’t want to wear this! I hate it! It’s so uncomfortable!” All you're able to do is mess around with it helplessly and hope he doesn't choose to tighten it.

“Pet. Stop fussing. It was custom made, and if you break it, there WILL be consequences.”

“Why should I care?!” Punishment be damned, you can’t take him anymore.

“Hmm?” He raises an eyebrow, and peers down at you.

“I HATE it here! I hate you! What gives you the right to do this to me! I'd rather live out my days in that godforsaken cage than have you touch me again!” You scream the ugly words at him, you’re sick of him, sick of your life. He pinches the bridge of his nose and growls in frustration.

“Just give up already! We both know you’re not getting out of this! Why are you so disobedient?!” He glares at you, roughly grabbing you off his crotch and bringing you up to his face.  His fist encapsulates you, only letting your head move around.

“I want my old life back! I’m sick of YOUR hideous face being the only face I see!” As you shout the words at him, he drops you as he recoils in shock and hurt. 

Oh no. You cower, knowing you’ve fucked up. NEVER talk about his scar. 

He drops you back on his lap and brings the mirror to his face, his other hand touching the scar in a forlorn expression. His eyes scrunch up a bit, mouth wavering. This is the most vulnerable you’ve ever seen him. That vulnerability quickly dissipates into rage. Letting out a roar, he throws the mirror against the wall, shattering it into a thousand pieces. 

“Wait! I didn’t mean it like that! I’m sorry!”

He angrily glares at you as you feel less confident in your words. You can feel his hot breath hitting you as he seems to be thinking. He pulls out his phone with and starts typing furiously, before a few chimes emit from the phone. He hasn’t said anything for a good while, and your heart is pounding. His face returns to a more self-satisfied expression as he looks back to you.

“Hmmm. Okay. That’s possible.” He says, a hint of malice in his voice.

“Wait, what?” Your eyes widen as you fear his sudden change in attitude.

“I said that is possible. I can arrange for you to see someone else for a while.”

“Are you letting me go?” You aren’t that hopeful, but maybe?

“That isn’t what you said, pet. You said that you wanted to see a new face. THAT I can provide.” You don’t like the sound of that.

“This is going to be someone worse than you, isn’t it? You’re not that slick, Todoroki. You’re basic.” A grin overtakes the face of your captor as your stomach sinks. It appears you forgot your place again.

“Oh, getting cocky now, are we? Let’s see if you feel that way after a week with my old man.” Your blood runs cold. His father, Enji Todoroki?! You’ve seen the man before, on TV and whatnot. Shoto speaks of him sometimes, seemingly trying to use his trauma as a bonding tool. It mainly just instilled the fact that Enji Todoroki was someone to be feared, someone who wouldn’t give a second thought to anyone he didn’t think was worth the time. You highly doubt he’d even give you a first thought.

“W-wait, w-what?”

“He's a bastard. A lot less forgiving, if you catch my drift. He hates distractions, and I don’t think he’d be all that fond of you, pet. I do not envision dealing with him to be all that nice. He is a cruel person, and I think having a pet to torture would be right up his alley.”  

“I thought you hated him?”

“True, but he’s really been trying to gain my trust. And he’ll do basically anything I ask. Even looking after a pet for a week.” Your blood is pumping, you can hear your heartbeat in your ears.

“I-I-I-” You stammer, trying to find any solid ground in this argument. Shoto just grins and continues.

“Of course, he’s quite forgetful and dismissive. So, I wouldn’t expect him to remember to feed you or really care for you-”

“Why- why would you-”

“-or maybe he’ll just drop you on the ground and expect you to fend for yourself for the week. Surviving his day to day life. His footsteps, workouts, and daily routines, surviving off crumbs, stolen food, and the like.” You can’t take this, your sassy front has crumbled away. Shoto’s threats are too much for you to push back against. 

You can’t imagine surviving a week with Enji, him burning you if you don’t do exactly what he asks. You can only be so defiant against the person who rules your life. Shoto has won this argument. You can only give in and pray that he doesn’t go through with it.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to say what I said!” Shoto just looks at you, looking smug, and continues.

“After all, he doesn’t have much time for arrogant, stupid, tiny pests.”

“Please! I’m sorry! I don’t want that!” You are shaking now, on your knees in his palm, head sagging.

“Oh, am I scaring you, pet? I mean, there are other possibilities...” You jump at this chance to be good again. Anything to keep you away from Enji.

“Like if I behave, or make it up to you?” You’ll do anything he asks, you just need to not end up with Enji.

“I was meaning my father. He doesn’t have anyone in the house anymore and he seems quite lonely, he might take a liking to you. Constantly being around you, or demanding things of you. He might really take a fancy to you.” 

Wait, what?

“W-what do you mean, exactly?”

“Well. My old man doesn’t have anyone in the house, he’d probably latch onto anyone new he could care for…or train. I think it’d be cute, no? A huge, strong man like him, fawning and fussing over my pet. He might view himself as a grandfather.” Shoto chuckled to himself lightly. 

“Imagine a man like Endeavour, constantly wanting to be around you, hold you, feed you, bathe you, sleep with you. It’s not impossible to think that he’d be loving towards you.” It sounds better than Shoto’s treatment of you. Enji might be kinder, if he was like what was just described?

“Is…that meant to be a threat? He’d treat me better than you presumably.”

“Well, no, he wouldn’t. See, my old man is the type of man to get frustrated easily. His quirk is fire, and he has a VERY short fuse. If you don’t act like the PERFECT little pet, he’ll get mad, fast. And let’s face it, you’re a brat.”  You regret ever waking up from that nap. You also regret all the actions you’ve made since that nap.

“Think about it, burning large manly hands grabbing for you, or giving a downright villainous glare because you DARED deny his affection.” Okay, staying with Shoto was the better choice again. The idea of being around either version of Enji shook you to your core.

“I-I…Please don’t make me go with your father! I’m sorry for what I said! I really am! Please, don’t make me spend a week with him!” He seemed to stop and consider it, a thoughtful expression crossing his face.

“Hmm. Will you stop being such a brat?”

“Yes! Of course, I’ll do anything!”

“Kiss me, on the lips.” 

You step back, legs shaking, eyes darting to his lips in terror. He’s requested this before, but you always denied it. It’s too close, too personal, too intimate. It’s an act that would seal the corrupted relationship you two share.

“W-what?”

He brings his palm, with you on it, closer to his lips.

“Come now, little one. You said you’d do anything to prove to me you won’t be such a brat.”

Hesitantly, you move closer, wrapping your arms around yourself. Swallowing thickly, you slowly lean forward and place your tiny lips on his, sealing the deal. He’s holding his breath, waiting anxiously for you to prove your loyalty to him.

As you lean back from the kiss, he breathes out, warm breath washing over you. 

“Thank you for that my pet. You truly have established your loyalty to me. I just have one more thing to ask of you.”

“What is it? I’ll do anything, I swear!” You just don’t want to end up with the devil. You know how much ‘fun’ Shoto could have with the word ‘anything’, you’re not an idiot. But anything is preferable to Enji.

“In a couple of days, I’ll be going away for a week or so. International hero conference, you know the deal. You will have to stay with my old man for that period.” 

Your stomach drops as you start crying. He...he lied to you! He betrayed you!

“B-but…you…you promised!”

“I said nothing of the sort. I simply asked if you’d stop being such a brat, to which you responded enthusiastically. Not my fault you misinterpreted what I said.” A wicked grin overtakes his face, as his hand cocoons your body, leaving only your head.

“I HATE YOU! You’re a villain! What makes you think you can do this?! You’re just like your father! I hope you both rot in hell together! I hate you!” You’re past the point of caring with Shoto, he can burn in hell for all you care. Although considering he is giving you to Todoroki Senior, the feeling might be mutual.

“Hahaha, little one, ferocious as ever. I DO hope you’ll survive the week with my father, it’d be such a shame otherwise.”

[kisilinramblings]

I saw many people tweeted that Chloe is not deserved the threatment she received in the show (i.e being her miraculous taken from her, being bashed, etc), she helps lb selflessly only for lb to take her only way to redeem herself, to show she can be better person and the only reason why she's treated badly is because Thomas hate her, that's why he refused to give her a redemption arc and instead keep calling her a villain. What do you think of it? And what do you think of Chloe as a character?

I’ll come off clean right away. I too believed in Chloé. I too hoped for her to get better and gave her a chance. Was I disappointed by the turn she took? Yes. Just like Ladybug and Chat Noir too were disappointed I’m sure. Was I surprised by this development though? No. 

It all comes down to 3 things that lead Chloé’s development to this result.

Chloé’s traits and motivations. 

What the Bee Miraculous represented to Chloé

Chloé’s trust toward Ladybug

Let’s go back to the beginning of Chloé’s development. Despair Bear. Chloé is forced to make an effort and be nicer otherwise she will lose Adrien’s friendship.

Chloé : How can [Adrien] do this to me, Jean-Michel?

She doesn’t understand why she has this ultimatum. She isn’t reflecting on her actions. She just want Adrien to be her friend again. With the help of her butler though, Chloé works her way through. It’s a bumpy road and she obviously doesn’t like doing this. At. All. She always questions the point of this nice action or that other one, but she forces herself only not to lose Adrien’s friendship which obviously means a lot to her, but she finds this whole experience is annoying.

During the Akuma attack though, she does rescue Ladybug from being Catalysmed by a Chat Noir controlled by Despair Bear, but what does Chloé say immediately after she has realized she had been actually helpful for once?

LB : Thanks, Chloé Chloé : Hey! I was really nice just then! Did you see? No?

She boasts about her actions, wanting people to notice her. The whole audience doing the Anime Fall™ illustrates that boasting about being nice defeat the initial purpose. Doing nice actions should be because it is the right and natural thing to do, not to expect glory and reward afterward, even if Chloé instinctively wanted to protect someone she deeply idolizes.

After helping Ladybug out to defeat Despair Bear, Chloé realizes there are some benefits to being nice, yes, but what does Chloé do after showing she is capable of making an effort and secured back Adrien’s friendship? She sighs of relief, a burden lift out of her shoulders, and reverts back to her usual self.

Now I know people will say “It’s just to maintain the statu quo”. But when you look back at this episode after Miracle Queen or even after Miraculer, you realize Despair Bear had a lesson in it that concerns people like Chloé. That is they can make an effort to be nicer and can sometimes be helpful but if they don’t want to become a better person, to be kinder to others, then they won’t change.

Over S2, we see Chloé under a new light. She isn’t just a spoiled rich bully. She is human too. When she is hurt, she hurts back. Marinette -- and by extension the viewers -- learns to see that side of Chloé and empathizes with her. But while it explains it, her snobbish, mean and entitled attitude still isn’t acceptable. Not when living in society. 

But Chloé does make some some progress through S2. Small. But still, progress. Like during Zombizou, where Chloé admits for the first time her actions has hurt people.

Or the end of Queen Wasp where Chloé finally accepts to give back the Bee Miraculous she had found to Ladybug, admitting she had been irresponsible with how to use that power. 

Or during Malediktator, when Chloé opens up to Ladybug, telling her the truth and how useless she feels.

That was a start. Chloé showed us she was capable of doing that when renouncing or not expecting to have a Miraculous. However, after Queen Bee is officially recognized as one of Ladybug’s allies, something else happened. 

After actually saving Paris during Malediktaor, Chloé got a party celebrating Queen Bee, celebrating her.

Marinette was trying to do some positive reinforcement to encourage Chloé.

Marinette : Well, she did save Paris, so... maybe  she just may be able to save herself too, am I right? [...] If she feels like she can be useful, I’m sure she’ll change her attitude.

“[Chloé] just may be able to save herself”

It isn’t Ladybug’s responsibility to change Chloé so she could become a better person, but Chloé’s. Ladybug can help her a bit, by showing support and guiding her, but it is ultimately Chloé who has to work on herself in order to save herself AKA to begin redeeming herself if she wants to. Like how Chloé desired to save her dad and fix her mistake. However, Chloé’s secret identity being publicly known has jeopardized that process. 

Look at the ending of Malediktator. Chloé has a party but instead of taking pics with her and the crowd, or with people she cherishes or is thankful about, what do we get? 

A selfie of her with her with no one else around her posted on her social media, showing us her self-centred image. 

This behaviour repeats itself during Heroes Day as well. Everyone has prepared a nice action for the day and what was Chloé’s? Accepting to sign autographs since now she is a superhero. 

And at the end of the finale, yes, she is included in the group picnic, but how is she staged on the set?

She sits on a lounge chair, not directly touching the ground where everybody else is sitting. She refuses to eat home-made meals, preferring fancy sushis. And finally, she has her butler break apart her chopsticks for her, without even politely asking him by looking him in the eyes.

What does this scene tells the audience compare to the scene where Chloé is dismantling her Bee “Lair” without any help at the end of Malediktator, telling her butler she’ll do it because she has to do this herself. (Translation : I have to fix that error of mine myself”).

As S2 concluded, since Queen Bee is now officially one’s of Ladybug superhero teammates and that everyone knows QB is Chloé, she feels above everyone else, refusing to sit at the same level as them. She still doesn’t care about others’ feelings. She expects people to serve her. Even her “benevolent” action of signing autographs for Heroes Day revolved more around herself than acutally helping others. 

This is where Chloé’s character stands. This is what she values. Herself. Her needs. She feels morally superior. She has ascended to greater heights. She acts entitled because Ladybug has trusted her with a Miraculous once or twice. And it is this attitude Chloé never tries to fix and that has lead her to her descent. 

The people who are mad about Chloé’s development throughout S3 often misinterpret the real reason why Chloé constantly wanted to be Queen Bee to begin with. What the Bee Miraculous truly represented to her. 

Chloé didn’t want to be a superhero because she wanted to help people nor was it because she felt bad about how awful she had been to everyone in general and wanted to make amends. Chloé didn’t need a Miraculous for that. She could have accomplished that progress simply as a civilian if she had wanted to. 

It wasn’t because Chloé still had something to prove to her mother either. That was settled at the end of Queen Wasp. Her mother had acknowledged her and was staying in Paris, with her. Audrey finally gave the recognition Chloé longed for. (Though I admit “you are exceptionally mean like your mother” is a shitty reason, but hey! At least Chloé got her mother’s attention and love now, so little yeah...?) And in Malediktator, we see Audrey taking Chloé’s side, agreeing they should leave for New York together.

As for wanting to be loved by others, Chloé has already the affection and attention from other people such as her butler, Sabrina, Ms Bustier, and even her father who overly spoils her, satisfying every of Chloé’s desires. They were there for her even before she got her hand on a Miraculous. And it wasn’t because Chloé wanted the power to protect the people she cared about either nor was it her symbol for a second chance.

No, Chloé only cared about herself and the reason why she wanted to be Queen Bee everytime she could is because, to her, having a Miraculous means you are part of the elites. 

Miraculous Holders are chosen ones. Litterally! There are only a few select of them. They get to be famous, glorified, celebrated (Heroes Day). They get movies made about them (Animaestro). They get to be on the news, interviewed. To have their image show everywhere. To have fans. To be adulated, respected, listened to. They are exceptional. Superior. 

And this isn’t new with Chloé. Ever since S1, fame and status has always been a motivator for her to do things. To be exceptional. Not just to be seen by her mother (though it started it like that), but for everyone to see it. 

In fact, when there is an Akuma attack, is Chloé helping others around her or is she abandoning everyone and heading straight to light her bee signal while buzzing with excitement? Does she stay steady just in case Ladybug needs her or is she expecting Ladybug to ask for QB’s help every time? Is Chloé resilient about QB not being needed all the time or frustrated to sit on the bench? What does Chloé do to fix this? Does she give herself a purpose as a civilian or does she cling even more to Ladybug to bring her the Bee Miraculous?

Basically when Chloé is offering her help, in reality, she just want to be a superhero for the glory of it rather than actually caring for or helping people around her. 

When Chloé asks for “her” Miraculous and constantly clinging for Ladybug to give it to her, it means she only sees value when she is Queen Bee. And when Queen Bee wants to be reliable to Ladybug or fears to disappoint her idol, ultimately, Chloé wants to not screw her chances to be Queen Bee again. 

Thus, yes, Queen Bee does her part when battling Akumas, but does Chloé actually grow as a person after Malediktator events? Did Chloé work on herself? Does she continue reflecting on her actions? Does Chloé even sometimes try to help her classmates with their normal problems or is she resting on her laurels? How does she treat others in general? Did Chloé truly become kinder or humbler or did she instead got the big head and still is rude to them? Does she views herself as a normal person or as a superior being? If you are unsure about any of the answers, just rewatch Startrain.

Chloé just stops improving because she took her Miraculous for granted. She is an hero recognized by Paris and therefore deserve the hero treatment and doesn’t need to continue to work on herself. 

Sure, Chloé isn’t provoking as much akumatization as in S1 and S2, but she didn’t become better either by receiving a Miraculous. In fact, she is even more condescending. She is Queen Bee, she is a superhero thus she is better than you, peasants!

Chloé : In this world, there are those who work and those who shine. Forever there would be this division between us, Dupain-Cheng.

And this mentality contributed to Chloé’s sense of entitlement to the Bee Miraculous, calling it hers and expecting to have it back as if it was her rightful right. Except Miraculouses belong to no one as illustrated by the Turtle Miraculous who gets shared between Master Fu and Nino. And initially, LB wanted to hand over the Bee Miraculous to Alya because LB needed help and Alya had already been trusted with another Miraculous before. 

Anyway, during Heroes Day, it was part of Scarlet Moth’s plan to use the Bourgeois against Queen Bee. To destabilize her and it worked. And if he could do it once, he could attempt something again.

And this is what motivated Ladybug to be careful and ideally not give back a Miraculous to anyone who’s secret identity is known by Hawkmoth. And for the record, yes, Chloé is the first one truly affected by that rule, but she isn’t the only one through S3.

This decision is made by LB with CN’s approval because they wanted to protect Chloé and her loved ones from HM. And unbestknown to them, their doubts were found as Chloé was being watched over by HM and Mayura.

So it wasn’t because Queen Bee was doing a poor job, nor because Chloé's attitude was getting worse. This was done to protect her. Except they couldn’t protect Chloé from herself. 

Yes, Ladybug did a mistake which is to not inform Chloé of this decision earlier. As a result, in Miraculer, Chloé felt ignored. Rena Rouge and Carapace were often called to help while Chloé was standing there waiting next to her bee signal. 

But even if LB had told Chloé sooner, chances are the result would have been mostly the same. Because Chloé has an inaptitude to let go of things she desires.

After learning the truth, Chloé was clearly not satisfied by this decision. And while Chloé cooperates and hands back the Bee Miraculous, she is in denial.

Chloé : I understand, but I’m sure you will need me again, Ladybug. I know that I will be Queen Bee again someday. I’ll always be Queen Bee.

What allowed Chloé to not be akumatized during Miraculer was precisely because she still had faith in Ladybug then, despite being mad at her. She is still convinced LB would come ask for Queen Bee’s help again. But after that revelation, once Ladybug has left, Chloé tears apart the picture she had hold on to the entire episode. 

By S3 finale, we see Chloé never accepted the reality of ever be Queen Bee again. And since the finale theme revolved about loss, well, it was time for her to be confronted to it.

We all agree that Hawkmoth exploited the situation during Heart Hunter. He planned the Akumatization of André and Audrey Bourgeois. Nathalie was on place to sabotage of the Bee Signal. And finally, they planned to find the Guardian to get the Miracle Box and offer the Bee Miraculous to have Chloé on their side. 

Everything was there to manipulate Chloé, play with her emotions in order to turn her against Ladybug. But keep in mind that during that scene where HM is meeting Chloé, everything he says rings true to Chloé because this is what she internally feels. What he did was only amplifying the feelings Chloé already has since Miraculer and even a bit before that.

Chloé felt ignored, rejected, not allowed to be a superhero, to be a Queen. When Chloé answers Ladybug has done nothing for her, we know it’s not true. Ladybug gave her a second chance. We also know Ladybug is avoiding to give Chloé a Miraculous because she is trying to protect her and her loved ones from HM. Chloé knows that since the end of Miraculers events, however when her loved ones are indeed in danger during Heart Hunter, Chloé expected this would be THE occasion to be Queen Bee again and prove Ladybug wrong by helping Ladybug save her parents. 

Now, Ladybug has been distracted and didn’t think of things clearly and yes, there is a chance that on other circumstances she might have picked the Bee Miraculous to give it to Chloé, but there is also the fact Chloé kept repeating the same mistake. 

We have seen through S3 Chloé is constantly building her expectations up, only to set herself for disappointement. And instead of realizing that about herself, especially after Miraculer, she continues doing that and gets angry and put the blame on others. The only one making Chloé wait is Chloé herself. All the other temporary Holders have other things to occupy themselves and they do what they can as civilians, not expecting LB to come and give them a Miraculous. 

But Chloé’s entitlement to the Bee Miraculous clouds her judgment there and now, HM is there is offering Chloé something Ladybug has denied to give her again.

So, Chloé prefered being Queen Bee over doing the right thing. She had the chance to double cross HM, but she didn’t because of how hurt and furious she was at Ladybug. And even after being deakumatized, that angers and feeling of betrayal persist.

And this is where Chloé’s action matters the most here. Chloé not only tries to be reakumatized by choice again, she blantantly explains she isn’t on Ladybug’s side anymore, doesn’t care if HM who terrorizes Paris is the ennemy, that she will keep the Miracle Box for herself. Chloé also rudly orders the Kwamis around without knowing how it works. She even tries to run away with the new Miracle Box and finally, when everything is falling appart and doesn’t go her own way, Chloé throws at tantrum at Ladybug, insulting her and the other temporary Holders and affirm she will leave with the Bee Miraculous to New York.

Even HM who laughs at this at first, commenting he doesn’t need to do anything, that Chloé is one of the bad guys, eventually is disappointed before leaving her behind.

Ladybug? She tries to reason with Chloé, giving her another chance to fix her mistake like at the end of Queen Wasp. When Chloé is putting all the remaining Miraculous of the Box on her, LB asks to stop because she knows how dangerous it is to combine their powers and still doesn’t want Chloé to get hurt. It’s only after Chloé tries to run off with the new Miracle Box that Ladybug stops her. And when Chloé is done talking, LB has no choice to stop this and take back herself the Bee Miraculous from her, even apologizing for doing this.

Ladybug has been very patient. She knows Chloé. She knows she is hurt and is hurting other because that’s how she copes, but Ladybug cannot let Chloé keep that Miraculous. Heck, she even feel sorry for Chloé when she finally leaves. 

Is that truly the face someone who is satisfied with this result? This wasn’t what Ladybug had hoped for Chloé either.

If, through S3, it was no one’s fault for the Bee Miraculous to not be given to Chloé, her being destituted of the Bee Miraculous at the end of S3 was the consequences of Chloé’s own actions and her refusal to change. And all of this could have been prevented if Chloé didn’t become entitled to the Bee Miraculous, if Chloé had found another purpose AS A CIVILIAN rather than to depend on the prestige of her Queen Bee persona

This isn’t the end though. It only means Chloé has more work to do about herself. And that giving Chloé a Miraculous isn’t the solution to improve her. 

[thecleverdame]

Gods of Twilight - 9

Alpha!Werewolf!Sam x Human!Reader

Master List (posting schedule is there as well)

Summary: You marry Sam, The King of Lebanon, as part of an alliance between two lands. You soon discover that nothing is as it appears and that your husband is hiding a secret that may end your relationship before it can begin.

Warnings: smut, dub-con, canon-level violence, domestic discipline, spanking

Beta:  ilikaicalie

*Chapters 10-26 are available on Patreon. To get access to this and many other stories, subscribe for a pledge of 2.50 per month. CLICK HERE

-

You lie in bed, a ball of rage and humiliation. Never in your life has anyone treated you with such disrespect. You’re not a child, and no one, save for your mother has ever laid a hand on you. But after tonight Sam has made it clear that he considers your discipline to be one of his responsibilities.

It’s well into the night when the door opens and you hear him enter. He rarely sleeps beside you and he certainly never returns in the middle of the night.  But tonight you listen as he undresses and then the bed sinking when he lays down.

Your back is to him. Closing your eyes you remain still, but you can feel him move closer, leaning over to look down at you and see if you're asleep. When you don’t move or open your eyes, he lies down, settling in and you wait for the long slow fog of sleep to take you.

-

You roll over, stretching out on your back only to be met with two sensations. The first is instant pain in your buttocks that jerks you awake. But that’s not the only place you ache. Your whole back is stiff, drawing a soft whimper as you try to move and are met with sharp pain. The second is the warm skin of your husband pressed along your side as you unexpectedly roll into him.

You have never woken up next to him. He’s always gone before you awake, but this morning you open your eyes to find him watching you.

“Good morning,” he offers. You inch away from him, wincing in pain. His brow furrows, mouth tightening as he watches your expression.

“Good morning,” you return, gingerly sitting up. He’s fixated on you as if waiting for something to happen. You glance at his shoulder. The gash is now only a long, thin scar. It looks as if his wound is months old, instead of hours. “You’ve healed nicely. I’m glad to see there was no permanent damage.”

While your words are that of a concerned wife, your tone is empty, devoid of the warmth and care you had for him last night.

“How are you feeling?” he inquires. His mouth falls open, intending to say more but stopping himself.

“I will recover.” You move to get out of bed but he grabs your arm.

“What you did was a serious grievance, you could have been killed. What happened last night was deserved. It is my job as your husband to protect you. To keep you safe.” He sounds hesitant as if he’s trying to convince himself as much as you.

“And who will keep me safe from you?” Your eyes are on fire, face hot as you stare at him. His jaw flinches, the grip on your arms tightening. “Should I expect you to take a lash to my backside whenever you are ill-tempered or only when you feel that I’ve stepped out of bounds?”

“I will discipline you any time I deem necessary,” he grits out. “You forget your place. You may be a queen but you belong to me. Don’t forget that.”

“I will not forget anytime soon,” you counter, head held high. “You have left me with quite the reminder, my king.” His title comes out of your mouth, dripping with contempt and you know by the look on his face that you’ve once again overstepped your boundaries.

“Perhaps my leniency was taken for granted. You’ve not learned the lesson. I’ve allowed you too much freedom and now you believe yourself to be above answering to your husband.” He grabs your arm, the weakness of last night now completely gone as he forces you onto your belly. This time you struggle, twisting and trying to wiggle away but he’s unnaturally strong and it doesn’t take much for him to pin you place as he lifts your nightdress. “I’ll finish what I should have last night.”

His open palm spanks your backside and you yelp, tears springing to life. You hear the click of his belt as he grabs it from the floor and then there’s a horrific tearing noise as he rips the back of your gown in two, exposing you completely.

Whimpering you lie there, waiting for him to strike again but there’s nothing. His hand delicately touches your spine and you flinch at the contact.

“What is this?” His voice is softer, the sight of your injuries has taken the anger right out of him.

“I fell in the woods when I was trying to find my way back to the castle,” you explain quietly.

“These are deep bruises,” he grunts, inspecting you from stem to stern. “How did this happen?”

“I tumbled down a hill, there were rocks.”

“And then I did this.” His voice is distant now as his hand rubs softly over the flesh of your buttocks, careful not to apply pressure. “I was too rough. I had no intention of leaving marks on you, not like this.”

“It hurts.” Your confession is met with a grunt, as he pushes the remains of the torn nightdress away. “Lay here, don’t move. I have something that will help.”

After a moment he returns. Whatever he fetched stinks to high heaven.

“This is liniment. It will feel warm at first, but it will ease the pain as is settles into your skin.”

You don't respond, just lay still as he begins to apply the salve. In contrast to the last twelve hours his touch is light, featherweight as he carefully rubs the balm into your back, then lower, both hands carefully massaging your sore cheeks.

When you wriggle out of instinct, he places a palm on your lower back, holding you in place.

“Be still, it hurts now but it will feel better, just give it time.” He sits you up, pulling the nightdress off and wrapping you in a light blanket that’s itchy against your skin. “I was trying to teach you a lesson. I know you believe me to be indifferent when it comes to you, but I am not. If something happened to you I would never forgive myself. I needed you to understand how serious this was.”

“You don’t think I know that?” You look to him, pulling the blanket tight. “There is not love between us but I care for you as my husband. The thought that I was the reason you were hurt,  that you could have died was lesson enough. I would never purposely put you in harm's way. And you said that you believe I was unphased by the attack, but that is also untrue. I’ve never been more terrified in my life. Just because I’m able to remain composed does not mean it had no effect on me. I think I shall have nightmares for the rest of my life imagining those terrible men. My point is that you don’t know me...not at all. I did not need your discipline, I needed your compassion.”

He’s silent, watching you, his face unreadable. “And I need you to listen to me. It’s dangerous enough for a woman alone at night, but after everything that’s happened with Luther...you mustn’t disobey me.”

“I will not,” you nod, looking at your hands. The balm he’d rubbed into your back is tingling, a warm sensation that relaxes your muscles.

“I won’t apologize for what I did, but I will admit that I had no intention of leaving such bruises. And if you had told me you were injured I would have waited.”

You snort, looking away from him.

“I want you to know I have been listening to you,” he continues. “I made you feel that you are unimportant and that couldn’t be further from the truth. I thought keeping you at arm's length was the best course of action but I can see now that I was wrong. I will work to be a more attentive husband.”

“Thank you,” you nod, eyes fixed on the fire.

His words and good intentions don’t negate the fact that he took his belt to you last night and nearly did the same this morning. He’s silent, then with a heavy sigh, he begins to dress.

“I have faith that in time you’ll understand.” He offers the parting words before leaving the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

-

“You should have seen her face.” Sam takes a drink of wine. “It was as if I’d killed someone.”

“She’s overreacting.” Dean shakes his head, looking at his brother. “How many lashes did you give her?”

“Five, but-”

“Five?” Dean explains, flabbergasted. “I received more as a child.”

“She was already injured, and I was harsh. I forget my strength. It’s only by chance that I didn’t draw blood.” He looks at the ground, fingers gripping the chalice tightly.

“I thought she was a bad idea because she was human but it’s more than that. You care too much what she thinks of you.” Dean tilts his head, eyebrows shooting up. “You picked a wife based on beauty instead of compatibility. You are the one who’s always telling me I shouldn’t be led around by my cock and here you are, so desperate to get between her legs that you’re-”

“Careful.” Sam cautions. “She’s my wife, not a whore in the streets.”

“That is exactly what I’m talking about. She is your wife and if you gave her a hundred lashes, she would have deserved it. I’ve had men whipped for much less.”

“I don’t want her to be fearful of me.” Sam’s voice is low, offering a confession that makes his cheeks flush.

“But she should be afraid, Sam.” Dean places a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “For many reasons, but beginning and ending with the fact that you’re her husband. A healthy fear will be good for her, keeping her in line when the time comes and you have to fuck some pack Omega to satisfy your rut.”

“Dean-”

“What? Sooner or later she is going to have to come to terms with the realities of being the queen. That’s just how it is.”

One Month Later

Sam is beginning to wonder if he’s done irreparable damage. He’s trying, he is. He spends fewer nights out drinking with his brother, makes a point to eat meals with you and sleep in his own bed. But despite these changes, you seem to be growing more and more distant. There’s a sadness that has settled into your bones and he fears that he’s the reason for it.

“Golda,” Sam calls your handmaid’s name, looking around the bedchamber to ensure you’re not there.

‘Your Majesty.” Her eyes grow wide as she bows so low she nearly sinks to the ground. This is part of his title that never fails to make him uncomfortable.

“Where is my wife?”

“In the gardens, sir. Would you like me to have someone fetch her?”

“No, no, it’s you I would like to speak with.”

She looks at Sam as if he’s going to eat her alive. He sighs, taking a seat hoping to appear less intimidating.

“What could you possibly want from me?”

“Does Y/N speak of me?”

Golda looks instantly white, her jaw tightening.

“On occasion,” she whispers, taking a step backward.

“I expect honesty,” he warns, “but there will be no reprimand for telling me the truth.”

“She doesn’t say much, sir. She used to ask about you, she wanted to know what others said about you. Lately, she’s been quiet.”

Sam nods, looking at the floor, thinking carefully. “Because of me?”

“P-partly.” She stammers, cheeks burning bright red.

“Partly? What else is there?”

“She’s...Y/N is like a flower. Without the sun even the most beautiful flower wilts and dies. Before we came here she was rather...wild. There were few rules and she did as she pleased. In Lebanon she’s caged, and you’ve added guards to her posting. She’s not allowed outside the city limits. I think she’s wilting.”

He thinks on this, remembering how happy you were that night in the woods when you believed you were speaking to an animal. Sam knows what it’s like to have one’s freedom taken, but he also can’t take the chance and allow you to wander alone. All he knows is he can’t stand to see you like this, an empty husk of a person.

He needs to find a way to right his wrongs.

[lordsister]

I Might Like You (Bakugou Katsuki x Reader)

A/N: So I just graduated from high school and I actually have the time to read and write now. Isn’t that crazy? I have so much I need to write.*rubs hands together*

I do not own My Hero Academia or any of its characters.

"Out of my way, extra!" Wincing at the sharp shove to your shoulder, you bit your lip to hold back the retort on your tongue. Nothing but pain and harsh glares would result from talking back to Bakugou Katsuki, a lesson you had learned early in life.

The ash blonde didn't even have the decency to spare you a glance as he stormed by you, set on doing god knows what. It wasn't like you and he had known each other practically your entire lives. No, not at all.

For as long as you could remember, Bakugou had treated you just as badly as Izuku, if not worse. You had no idea what you had ever done to deserve his hostility, but the explosive male seemed resolved to hate you forever.

Hurrying in his footsteps, Kirishima sent you an apologetic look over his shoulder. Taking a deep breath, you squared your shoulders. This was just another day. You weren't going to let Bakugou get to you.

Little did you know of the piercing red eyes that watched your every move, a rare conflict hidden in their ruby depths.

He hated you. No. Hate was too soft a word. He loathed you. With every fiber of his being. Why? He didn't quite know, but ever since you were kids something about you made him feel...off. Too warm and like his stomach was roiling.

He felt weak whenever you were around, and that was unacceptable. He was going to be the number one hero. He couldn't afford to be weak.

So he kept you as far away as possible, channeling every bit of disgust he could into harsh words and rough treatment in an effort to drive you off, and that was exactly how he intended to keep it, despite his traitorous heart urging him to do otherwise.

Blowing a lock of hair out of your face, you tried to concentrate on the worksheet laid out on the desk before you, blocking out the sounds of conversation around you. You could probably get it done later if you really wanted to, but you just wanted to be done with it. One less thing for to worry about tonight when you had other homework to get done.

You were almost finished when a blur of yellow appeared in the edge of your vision, a certain pikachu look alike asking, "Whatcha doin'?"

Smiling, you looked up at Kaminari hovering over you. "Finishing the worksheet Aizawa-sensei gave us."

Though a lot of people found Kaminari annoying, you actually enjoyed his company, even going so far as to spend time with him outside of school working on schoolwork or just hanging out. He definitely wasn't the brightest bulb in the box, but he was kind to you and never failed to make you smile, unlike another blonde classmate whose sole purpose in life seemed to be to torment you whenever you came within a ten foot radius of him.

"Couldn't you finish it at home? You're so smart, I'm sure you could get it done in no time."

"That's exactly why I'm doing it now. So I don't have to spend time on it tonight."

"In that case..." Kaminari slid into the chair in front of you, striking a jokingly suggestive look. "Wanna make out later?" You raised an eyebrow at the same time that he noticed his mistake, eyes widening and his mouth opening and closing a few times before he managed to say, "No! I mean, do you want to hang out, not make out! That's not what I-! I mean you're beautiful, but-"

"Are you kidding? Who would ever want to make out with an extra like her?" a familiar abrasive voice scoffed from behind you. Biting your lip in a grimace, you turned in your chair to face your aggressor, meeting his glare with one of your own. Bakugou lifted a brow, a mocking smile spreading across his face. "What? You got a problem? You can't tell me I'm not right."

He moved closer, standing mere inches away as his eyes narrowed. "You're a weak, stupid try-hard who would never be anyone's first choice." His gaze shifted to Kaminari and he growled, "I'm surprised you would stoop so low, pikachu," but you barely heard him, barely saw him, as the blood rushed in your ears and your vision blurred.

The world went out of focus and you didn't realize what you'd done until you registered the stinging sensation in your hand a few seconds later and saw Bakugou's head snap to the side, red eyes wide with surprise and a red mark rapidly forming on his cheek. Faintly, you were aware of the classroom falling silent, a collective gasp hanging in the air.

You had slapped him. You had slapped Bakugou Katsuki. And you didn't care what he did to you in response.

"Why do you have to be so awful?" you whispered, voice shaking. "Why do you feel the need to torment me more than anyone else?" Tears of frustration and hurt slipped down your cheeks. "You call yourself a hero, but you're a villain to me."

With that you slipped past him and out of the room, grateful when Uraraka followed you, a comforting arm draping across your shoulders and her hand holding yours. Directing you outside and away from any curious onlookers, the other girl sat you down on a bench and held you against her as you cried into her shoulder.

"Why does he have to be such a dick?" you whimpered, hands fisting in your lap.

Uraraka sighed, rubbing soothing circles into your back. "I guess that's just the way he is."

"But he hates me more than anyone else! I don't even know what I did to make him hate me!"

She didn't say anything, distracted by footsteps signaling the approach of another. For a moment you thought it was Bakugou come to collect punishment for hitting him, but when you looked up you saw that it was only Kirishima, looking a little uncertain of whether he should be there or not. "Hey (y/n), is now a good time to talk?"

"Are you here to scold me for lashing out at him?" It came out harsher than you intended and Kirishima lifted his hands.

"No, not at all! Bakugou totally deserved all of that, but...I do think we need to talk about...whatever this is between you and him."

Uraraka shot you a look clearly asking if it was okay to leave you alone and you nodded, giving her hand a squeeze. Kirishima took her place on the bench as she got up and walked away, glancing over her shoulder at you a couple of times for good measure.

The red-head next to you released a long, slow breath before speaking. "So...Bakugou's really bad with feelings."

You snorted. "You could say that again. He's been like that since we were kids."

Kirishima was silent for a moment. "Why do you think he treats you more harshly than anyone else?"

"Probably because he hates me."

"I think it's because you make him weak."

Your head snapped to level Kirishima with an incredulous stare. "What? I make him weak? What do you mean?"

"I know it sounds crazy but hear me out. Bakugou hates weakness more than anything. Now imagine if there was a person who actually managed to become a point of weakness or vulnerability or something for him. Mix that with how bad he is when it comes to feelings and he would-"

"Try to keep that person as far away as possible," you finished, gaze shifting to your feet. "So you think I'm a point of weakness for Bakugou?"

"Well, yeah. Basically."

"You didn't know whether to laugh or seriously question how well Kirishima actually knew Bakugou. "All this time, he treated me so badly...because of that?!" You jumped to your feet, beginning to pace as your voice rose. "That's no excuse! I never did anything to him, and he treated me like dirt because he couldn't handle his feelings?! You have to be kidding me!"

"It's just a hunch. I could be wrong," Kirishima pointed out, shoulders scrunching up in an attempt to make himself look smaller as you turned on him.

"It can't be true!"

"It's true," a new voice interrupted. You spun around to find the very subject of your conversation standing on the edge of the courtyard, hands shoved in his pockets and a sour expression on his face.

You were aware of Kirishima standing up behind you, coming to stand at your shoulder. "Bakugou-"

"You make me feel weak and I hate it," the blonde continued, ignoring his best friend as he started to advance on you. "Ever since we were kids, being around you has made me feel weird and wrong." He came to a stop inches away from you, staring you down, and you thought you caught a glimpse of conflict in his eyes. "I treated you the way I did for so long because I can't stand the way I feel when I'm around you and I don't regret any of it. I can't afford to feel weak. Ever."

You opened your mouth to respond, to yell at him, scream at him, but he continued before you could get a single word out. "Today though, after you called me a villain..." Something shifted in his gaze, an emotion you couldn't place entering his angry, red eyes. "I don't want you to think of me like that." His eyes turned away from yours and you could see him worrying the inside of his cheek with his teeth. "I don't want you to hate me."

You didn't realize you had started crying again until you spoke, your voice angry and unsteady. "Then don't be so horrible to me all the damn time!" You took a step closer to him. "Don't act like you hate me if you don't want me to hate you!"

You gasped as strong arms wrapped around you, pulling your stunned figure into a warm chest. The hug was tentative, unsure, and a little awkward, but you had to admit there was something nice about it too. His arms didn't seem to know how to hold you properly, one stiffly wrapped around your shoulders while the other held your waist, but there was nothing hateful or spiteful about the gesture.

In his own clumsy way, Bakugou was genuinely trying to comfort you.

"I don't hate you, so stop crying okay?" he muttered gruffly. He said something else under his breath, but when you looked up to question him, he refused to look at you. "I'll try not to-" He unclenched his jaw and started again. "I'll try to treat you better, so...so don't hate me, okay?"

You sniffled and lifted your arms to return his embrace. What he'd done still hurt and you weren't quite ready to forgive him after so many years of mistreatment, but at that moment all you wanted was to be held and comforted. Just like this. "Okay."

You didn't know if you would ever admit it to him, but you heard what he'd let slip seconds before.

"I might actually like you."

And you hoped, despite yourself, that he meant it.

[lothirielswanmarvel]

“Just Muscles. And Abs. Lots of Both.” (Sneak Peak)

Word Count: 2260

Love Interest: Thor (+ Peter Quill Love Triangle)

Summary: A romantic and playful scene with everyone’s favorite Seductive God of Thunder—look out for twists!

**This is a sneak peak for a book I’m considering writing. I MUST have feedback before continuing this novel. Please enjoy, and I’d love to hear your thoughts. 

~*~

I finally realized why Tony liked large flatscreens. The living room suite of Avengers Tower was unoccupied tonight, which was rare: Steve loved documentaries, Clint enjoyed watching people contemplate buying extravagant houses, Wanda would kill anyone who tried to change the channel from the Bachelorette, and Bruce had a secret love for The Big Bang Theory.

The remote control almost felt foreign in my grasp. Spending time with any of the Avengers made my day, but alone time meant I could finally indulge in films or television shows without restrictions. I decided to go full range with my power, and settled for Game of Thrones. [Before you look away, Readers, NO, there are no spoilers to Game of Thrones as you read on. It’s incredibly vague, doesn’t talk or name any characters. Don’t stress. Love, fortune and glory to you!]

I was thirty minutes in, trying to decide who would make it alive to the next episode when I finally heard someone behind me. It had been a quiet night, and I didn't feel like ruining it with an argument.

“Sorry, I didn't know you were here. I'm changing it,” I called out as I paused the show.

“Are you sure? It looks interesting.”

I turned to look at Thor. He smiled warmly at me and walked around the long couch to my cocoon of blankets. Thor sat down beside me, leaving little room between us. I liked his closeness—not just because of the ridiculous crush that I’d been harboring for him for years, but the implied friendliness of it. It was nice to be close and comfortable with someone; no boundaries, no professionalism. As Pepper’s niece, it was nice for someone to treat me like a person and not some reserved business workaholic.

“I don't mind putting on something else,” I offered. Game of Thrones was so popular, no one in the tower really had an issue with it, but there was only so much fantasy some of them could take—and the Avengers witnessed enough dramatic deaths in daily life without the help of George R. R. Martin.

“I like it. The cold and the creatures remind me of Jotunheim—not the fondest memories I have, but it’s familiar.” Thor replied, his tone slightly wistful as he relaxed into the couch. I offered him some blankets from my comfy makeshift nest, although I could feel his body heat through my layers.

“Jotunheim? That's were Loki’s from, technically, right?” I said, glancing at him.

Thor caught my gaze, nodding slowly. “Yes, you are a perceptive one. I'm surprised you remember.”

“I think it's cool, the stuff you talk about. The nine realms, Asgard, it's fascinating.” I said. I forced myself to look back at the TV. I usually didn't want to miss anything, but I found myself losing interest this time.

“You think so?” He sounded miffed.

“Yeah.”

We continued watching. I tried to pay attention to the dialogue, but I was too aware of the presence right next to me.

“What's Jotunheim like?” I asked as the scene on television was full of snow. “Is it as freezing as what’s on TV, or…?”

Thor grunted as he sat up a bit straighter. His voice was deep and rich with a unique accent. “It is—was—a realm of eternal winter. There weren't any trees, or woods��I don't think any life could’ve survived such harsh conditions. Mostly rock and ice. It was always dark, as well: blizzards were their sunlight.”

“Wow—I mean, I guess it makes sense. You have a mountain terrain, that fits frost giants,” I said thoughtfully. “What about the frost giants, if it's okay to ask? What were they like—were they anything like those things?”

I gestured at the screen where creatures sprinted across the icy fixture. Thor hummed thoughtfully, “Hmm, somewhat. Anything the frost giants touched turned to ice—a dear friend of mine, Volstagg, made that discovery. And they’re tall, of course, but they didn't have blue eyes: frost giants are red.”

For the first time in human history, Game of Thrones was forgotten. I was too intrigued in our conversation. Thor’s voice was thrilling to listen to, not to mention that the topics we discussed were bizarre. The only attention I paid the TV was when I changed it to Lord of the Rings as I asked Thor about orcs and elves.

“Were there any kind of creatures like orcs across the nine realms?”

“What about dwarves? Do they stay on Asgard?”

“When Mjolnir was created, were there other things made too, like the rings of power?”

After many rounds of my questions, Thor smiled apologetically. “I feel like I am boring you with my stories, Lady Evangeline.”

I sat facing him now, and most of my blankets were discarded to my other side, making a cozy barrier around us. His presence kept me warm.

I shook my head, “You don't have to be so formal, Thor, especially with titles: you can call me Evie, or Angie, or whatever part of my name you prefer. And I'm not bored, I like hearing you talk about the nine realms and where you’re from. I think you're much smarter than you give yourself credit for.”

The grin on Thor’s face stretched from one ear to the other. My heart started to race in my chest. “You flatter me, my—Angeline.”

“It's not flattery, it's true. You know so much about the universe—and not to mention, you’re one of the best fighters I've ever seen. Seriously, that takes so much practice—and you learn a lot from fighting things. That's how you gain experience in video games, you’d probably be max level in all of them.”

As I stared at Thor, something caught me off guard. His face was turning red. Not just his cheeks; everywhere, from his hairline to his beard.

Did I just make the God of Thunder blush? Was I hallucinating? I never made anyone blush that hard before, not even the few people I had dated. It was such a bizarre sight. Thor, a literal god among men, unfazed by alien armies and robot uprisings, was blushing. Because of me.

But the redness didn't go away. It lingered, like a rose bush in full bloom. I didn't know what to do: this had never happened before, and I would have never expected it. I forced my mouth to open and say something, anything.

“Nat’s showed me a few moves for self defense and that kind of thing, but I wish I could do what you do. You’re really talented.” I said.

Dammit! I made it worse! The redness had multiplied like trees overcome by the vibrant colors of fall.

Thor must’ve regained some sort of composure, at least enough to speak. “Evangeline, do you need furniture moved?”

My eyes narrowed. “No. Why?”

Thor covered his face with his hands, one lingering on his chin to stroke his beard. “Such praise must have a purpose, I assumed.”

“There is no...purpose.” I said, confusion filling me as I tried to follow his train of thought.

I still didn't understand as he stood and offered me a hand. “How about a fighting lesson?”

I blinked twice, trying to process where the conversation was headed. “Uh...sure. Sounds fun.”

I took his hand and stood. We faced each other. Lord of the Rings was still playing, and it's magnificent music became background noise for whatever was about to commence.

Thor smirked as he watched me.

My eyebrow rose. “What?”

“You move with such grace. The nymphs of Asgard would be envious of such enchanting beauty.” He declared.

Like karma, my face felt like a tray of embers. Flashbacks of the many times I had bumped into coffee tables, counters, doorways, and yes, even walls, came to me.

“You remind me of them often, actually. Your beauty is so natural, like an earthen goddess.”

“Thor.”

“Yes, Evangeline?”

“Do you need furniture moved?”

Thor laughed. “No, but you’ll be the first person I come to when the problem arises. Raise your fists,”

I did as he instructed. “Like this?”

“Yes, and your feet a little farther apart.” Thor closed the distance between us. His hands enclosed around mine, making my skin tingle, and setting them up a little higher. I glanced down to make sure my feet aligned with his.

“Right, that looks good.” Thor held onto my hands a little longer than necessary. “Your hands are so tiny.”

“Thanks?” I laughed when he kissed my knuckles, then retreated back a few steps.

“You’re smaller than I am—”

“In my defense, everyone is smaller than you. And everyone is taller than Tony.”

“True,” He agreed. His tone was serious, but there was some lightness to it. “But to overpower me, you have to think differently. You have to find a weakness.”

My eyes scrutinized Thor’s bulking frame. “I don't see any weaknesses. Just muscles. And abs. Lots of both.”

Thor smiled, and some of the redness returned. “Look harder.”

My head tilted to the side. Then it hit me. “Your eyes?”

Thor grinned. “You are perceptive.”

I bit my lip. Thor was tall. I’d probably have to climb him like a vine to reach his eyes, and I ignored the voice in my head that giggled at the idea (which could've also been Wanda eavesdropping).

“Okay...what now?” I asked, tightening my fists.

“Try to take me down,” Thor said.

I stiffened. “I know this is going to sound stupid, but I don't want to hurt you, Thor.”

“We could continue our battle of compliments if you’d like—”

I made up my mind and charged. I knew I was too short to reach him; Thor was massive. So I made a detour and went for the couch first, then pounced.

I yelped when we made contact. I wrapped my arms around his neck out of instinct. One of my legs came around his waist.

“Bad plan, bad plan,” My words were breathy, but not just because of the physical exertion. Thor’s eyes were captivating up close. They were a unique, popping blue-gray like a stormy sea. I took one shaky breath and my mouth was filled with the scent of him; something natural with warm tones and a musky aroma.

“It was a good plan,” Thor insisted. I should’ve let go. My arms wouldn't move. My leg remained glued to his side, unresponsive, but completely aware of the warmth seeping from his body.

“It was a well-thought advantage point. The Valkyries would recruit you for such cleverness,” Thor spoke softer, but up close, I could feel the deep vibrations of his voice. The unique accent that made me stop whatever I was doing and listen.

Thor’s arms came around me, securing me so I wouldn't drop to the ground.

“This is nice,” I mumbled. “The air’s a little thinner up here.”

We smiled. Thor’s chuckle was low. I continued, “You’re so tall...I’ve never seen you up close like this before.”

Thor nodded, and our noses brushed together. “Perhaps you should visit up here more often.”

“Maybe if you could supply a ladder next time…”

“Yes. Of course, my lady.”

I didn't dare look away from Thor’s face, but I could still hear the faint score of Lord of the Rings. It was the scene where Arwen, the elven princess, admitted to giving up her immortality to be with the human ranger, Aragorn. For the first time, I appreciated how soft and soothing the singing voices sounded. It was like heaven. It was like staring at Thor, and sharing that gentle but happy smile.

“Hey, uh, Thor...Jane’s on the line, bud. She’s asking for you.”

My eyes widened. Heaven had dissipated. Reality had sank in. Like a cool morning mist, burned away by the sun.

Thor nodded mutely. His muscles felt stiff. “Please excuse me, Lady Evangeline. . .”

Thor set me down, and I reluctantly unhooked my arms from his neck. I couldn’t decipher his facial expression. He passed Clint on his way out of the room.

Clint crossed his arms and leaned on the couch. “Good thing I came in and checked on you guys instead of Wanda. We’d be knee-deep in gossip for weeks.”

“Uhuh.” I glumly sat back on the couch. The cushions were cold, no longer holding the remnants of someone else’s warmth.

Clint perched on the armrest. “You know, when Laura and I were dating, at some point I sat down with her and had a conversation. I explained that I loved her very much, and my job was very time-consuming. I wouldn't quit my job, but I sure as hell didn't want to leave her. Luckily, we were two very independent people, who kept in touch, who supported one another, and could still carry on with our own lives.”

“Why are you telling me this?” I asked, shaking my head.

“ ‘Cause Jane didn't sound very happy on that phone. After they got together, Thor left her. Left earth. For two years.”

“But they’re still together.”

“I know the sound of somebody about to deliver some bad news when I hear it.” Clint said. He was crossing his arms again. “Look, you and him...I’ve seen you guys interact over the years. There’s something there. Half the people in this tower have bets on when it's gonna happen. But is Thor really what you want? Can you live that kind of lifestyle?”

Clint was silent, letting me ponder. Eventually, he stood. “I'm not trying to discourage you from anything, I just want you to make the best decision for you. ‘Cause you’re the one that's gonna have to live with it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Hi Awesome Adventurers and thanks for reading! I’ve been playing around with the idea of this novel for awhile, but I’d like to hear personally from you guys before I start publishing actual chapters. There will be one more sneak peak at the novel, and you can catch a glimpse at another sneak peak here, a very intense piece that will probably happen at the end of the series. But thank you so much for reading, and please, if you enjoyed this, I’d love to hear from you! If I do start hearing from people, I will post this story on Tumblr, Archive of Our Own, and Wattpad. Your words are powerful, and I’d love to hear them c: love, fortune and glory to you!!

[klunkcat]

Okay, I admit that piercings are a mayor special interest of mine as well as an attraction point in themself, so of course I absolutely loved that Vet Crowley fic but I also want to encourage you to write more, because I would absolutely DIE for Crowley with more piercings. Maybe Aziraphale realizes during their date that this Anthony fellow also has his tongue pierced and he asks about that and it kind of goes from there? I don't know, but if you need a sign to do more with this au, this is it.

(Oh, you’ve done it now my friend, I’m now knee deep in this AU and sinking fast. I have named the snake there is no return.) 

Zira didn’t exactly know what to call it, this…companionship they’d developed. Something more than friendship, he’d hope- hewasn’t exactly well versed in socializing or current trends, but he was fairlycertain the level of heated stares and blushing that occurred between the twoof them was out of the norm for most friends.

It wasn’t enough of course that Crowley was attractive, wellbeyond attractive, in fact. Or that he was witty, quick on his feet, wilyfor all intents and purposes. It wasn’t enough that the mischievous glint inhis eyes when he slid his glasses off made Zira’s heart quicken, or that hissmirk felt a little like basking too close underneath the heat lamps he’d purchasedrecently. It wasn’t even enough that he’d found Crowley to be inescapably kind,too. Selfless in the sort of way that left one breathless; subtle little gestures,like remembering Aziraphale’s favorite food, the temperature he liked his tea bestat, his favorite fonts even (anything with swash characters and discretionaryligatures that were kept within reasonable balance, of course. The newer scriptaddition Bookmania had been a very exciting development in 2011, he’d eventhrown a small soiree for the occasion, which was only objectively correct,thank you).

All of these elements were poised for his demise, certainly,but the absolute kicker of it all had snuck up on him on their fourth outing.He’d already accepted the eventuality of his combustion via those daunting bitsof metal near Crowley’s lower lip, when he’d said something rather snarky andbeen treated to a genuine full-bodied laugh. That in itself was pure gold tothe veins, but Zira had also discovered in that moment, a flash of somethingmetal in Crowley’s open smile.

And oh, but that single flash cultivated the worst addictionhe’d yet to experience so far. At the time, he’d been utterly enraptured, intrigued.Gabriel had often cited Zira’s stubbornness as a negative trait for which he shouldwant for improving and ridding himself of; he was a bit like a dog with a bone,on occasion. Or a man with a growing fascination with mouth related piercings, it seemed.

“Dear boy,” he’d been utterly unable to stop himself,entirely not to blame for the invasiveness of his following inquiry. He’d beendriven to madness, completely outside himself. Scurvy, probably. Or… hysteria,like the old days. “Is that…. A tongue piercing?”

Crowley’s smile slid into something more contained, reserved. As though he’d been rebuked for it before and had developed a practiced and measured out response he knew to deliver in specific doses. Heaven’swe can’t have that, Zira thought nervously in the sort of way one realizes they have casually strolled into a veritable open wound and begun tap dancing with cleats on. 

“And if it is?” Crowley replied,all perfectly calm and relaxed in the sort of way that meant anything but.

Perhaps that would have been the right moment to change thesubject, to practice that social cues lesson Michael had tried to instill himwith, to compliment it nicely and return to their scrumptious brunch. Ofcourse, what Zira intended and what often fell from his lips around Crowley tendedto be two separate things.

“I adore it,” he said, in a rush, and immediately felt hisface flair bright red. He abruptly decided his meal was very and entirelyfascinating, actually. Strawberries, he thought, panicked anddisjointed, what lovely strawberries this crêpe has. Every crêpe should have strawberries, oh, unless there were allergies. Truly terrible, a crêpe only allergy. To imagine such a thing. 

“Oh,” Crowley said, in a very faint voice Zira had neverheard from him. “Um.” It was enough to give Zira the courage to glance upwards,and catch the completely stunned, frozen expression on Crowley’s face. The poordear looked a tad panicked, ears bright red like the first day they’d met, withsomething flickering in the slight part of his lips that touched a bit on theside of awed.

“It’s. Yeah, pierced. Got it done the day after I turnedtwenty seven, actually. Bit of a birthday gift to myself.” 

“Did it hurt?” Zira was entranced, thoroughly, fully. He was gaping, eyes wide, and he could do nothing about it. 

Crowley seemed to fall back into comfort at the question,strangely. “Nah, not even a little. Made of tougher stuff, I am. Went and got myconch done a month later just to prove it.”

Although Zira didn’t know what a conch was in this context, he certainly hadspent a good amount of time staring at the complex snake loop of a piercingstraight through the hollow bit of Crowley’s ear like the snake was twined protectively around it. It was beautiful, truly, anart exhibit in itself. Everything about Crowley was pure art, though. From the crawlingpeek of tattoo’s around the collar of his shirt and the rolled up sleeves he rarely let anyone see, to thearray of curling metal and dark wood surrounding his ears, and of course tothose two glittering bits near his mouth.

The tongue piercing though, that was a whole newfascination. He decided then and there, he’d do everything in his power to getCrowley to laugh that widely and happily more often. Just for a peek, just to scratch Zira’s fascination itch, as it were.

It proved, unfortunately or fortunately he supposed, to befrighteningly easy; making little snarky quips here and there, which of courseonly made the whole thing worse. He invited Crowley over to his tiny apartmentslash book store slash antique store slash book bindery for wine one night, thrilledbeyond measure that Crowley hadn’t so much as hesitated before accepting the invite,and positively and fully, as Anathema liked to say, screwed himself over whenhe’d discovered Crowley was practically a giggly drunk.

If he’d used that information entirely too much, easingsmiles and grins and full on guffaws out of his friend, that was for him toknow.

He told himself firmly it was for curiosity, of course. Notbecause he was completely obsessed with the way Crowley’s nose crinkled up whenhe laughed, or the way his joy just picked Zira up and swept him along with it,or because of the devastatingly handsome column of his neck when he threw hishead back, or—

Oh.

Zira sincerely and deeply hoped they were more than simplyfriends. Otherwise this whole ‘half in love with him’ situation would be dreadfullyawkward.

Maybe it would have been for the best if he’d taken a few stepsback, then. He knew it was what his family would have suggested, although theword family was less here than there and their general suggestions would likelyhave been all over unhelpful to every degree considering their stance on tattoosor piercings on the whole front. He also knew he had a tendency to fret, towait and wait and overthink until opportunities passed, that his nervous naturemeant a lot more no’s than ‘why not’s in the past.

He also knew, with the sort of swelling certainty that feltan awful lot like coming home after a long trip, that when it came to Crowley,it was terrifyingly easy to be decisive. To be brave.

A more stable individual would likely have required two tothree business days to sort out their position on the whole ‘love’ thing, weightheir feelings (intense, fluttery, like eating those fizzy candies that poppedinside ones mouth) and the time they’d known each other (five months and twoweeks, to be exact), and what they were looking from the whole thing (everything,everything). They likely would have formed an action plan of sorts, invitedCrowley out to a nice dinner, dressed up handsomely for the occasion. Maybethey’d have taken a long romantic stroll at twilight around a pond, retire toone of their abodes for a drink, and then expressed their feelings openly andhonestly.

Zira, of course, had lost all sense of stability the momentCrowley and his attractive face and attractive laugh and attractively charming,sweet, careful personality had sauntered into his life. And so, naturally, he’dnot done any of those things.

To be entirely fair, however, the circumstances and generalstate of affairs within the universe appeared to be stacked against any attemptsfor rationality.

“Really, my boy, what exactly do you desire out of all thismess?” Aziraphale sighed, the sound caught funny in his throat and squeaked outa tad more hysterical than he felt. Probably. “You’ll be cold shortly, I shouldthink! Oh, and the night is meant to be a brisk one. I do hope you haven’tdecided to head on an afternoon stroll.” He shifted another couch cushion to noavail, feeling a burst of frustrated panic lodging itself somewhere between histhird and fourth rib.

“Angel!” A voice called, a familiarly attractive voice, anattractive and absolutely heavenly relieving voice.

“Come in! Do shut the door behind you, the last thing weneed is for him to get into the books. There’ll be no chance of finding himthen.”

He heard the muffled sound of shuffling shoes, and the quickclick of a door, before Crowley’s red hair appeared in the doorway. “Oh, thankyou for popping in so quickly, my dear. I’m nearly at my wits end!”

Crowley shrugged off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves, “Bestnot thank me, not till we find the bastard anyways.” He placed his hands on hiships. “Where’d you last see him?”

Zira pushed a hand through his hair, a disaster made onlymore disastrous by the movement. A small part of him that wasn’t frayed to theseams with stress bemoaned the whole thing, he probably looked quite the sight.He’d only pulled on a dress shirt before noticing the empty terrarium and ajar lid,and he was fairly certain a few buttons had sprung loose during his ransackingof the place.

“I’d been working on the books all morning and thought to havea quick bath before getting ready for our, um. Our outing. I saw him just beforehand,all stretched out like always. Even gave him a little ‘hello, how’re you’, sohis mood swing really is quite surprising. A-a firm talking to is on my list,most definitely.”

Crowley quirked a small smile at him, which did everything tosoothe his nerves. “Right, well. Couldn’t possibly be putting up a fuss aboutthe care, here. You spoil him. He’s got to be nearby, it’s too cold outsidebesides. Wouldn’t want to be anywhere like that.”

Aziraphale swallowed and nodded. “I sincerely hope not, poorOscar.”

Crowley stepped closer and rubbed his shoulder reassuringly,with a half-faltered motion Zira couldn’t decipher. “He’s here. Probablysleeping somewhere, the lazy—”

“Crowley,” Zira admonished with a tired giggle. “Youadore that serpent, don’t lie. It’s unbecoming.”

“Me? Lie? Never.” Crowley gave him a crooked smile inresponse, and Zira felt the warmth of it down to his toes. “Okay, I’ll start inthe study. If we don’t find him in half an hour, I brought over some dinner- we’lllure him out.”

They did not find him in half an hour, much to Zira’sdistress. Crowley teased lightly that he should go for the minimalistic stylein the future, so there were less places for Oscar to hide. Zira had to agreeit would be an effective method, not even a snake would find Crowley’s awfulflat couch comfortable. Unfortunately, in their searching, Zira also discovereda gap in one of the floor vents.

“Oh no, he must have gone through the gap! He’ll be stuck inthere, oh, I can’t stand the thought!”

“Hold on, Zira. Snakes are better at climbing than you’regiving our Oscar the credit for, mm? Probably just needs a little encouragement.I’ve got just the thing.”

If anyone had asked Zira how he thought the night their piecesfinally fell together nicely, he certainly would not have said there was anythingstrikingly romantic about placing dead mice near a floor vent in his crowded, unfortunatelydusty flat. In fact, crawling on his hands and knees alongside a Crowley whowas half underneath his terribly old sofa trying to sweet talk a serpent froman even dustier ventilation shaft, was probably not among the first hundredsuggestions he would have made.

However, the look of unbridled joy and pride on Crowley’s facewhen he finally emerged with an equally grey dusted Oscar tucked with absolutecare in his arms, was undoubtedly among Zira’s most treasured and perfect memories.

If he’d been half in love before, he’d gone and jumpedheadfirst off the diving board in the last hour or so.

“Holy hell,” Crowley wiped an arm across his forehead, andcarefully secured the lid on Oscar’s lid. “Glad that’s done with, then. Dinner?”

And it was all truly terrible. The soft golden lighting settingfire to Crowley’s disheveled hair, the dust flecking across his cheeks likestars, the crooked state of his glasses, the rumpled expensive dress shirt thatwould be hell and a half to iron out again. The absolute giddy happiness in Crowley’seyes, like he’d have done anything just to be the one to rescue Zira’s day,like he was so grateful to be given the chance and so proud of succeeding. Itwas far too much.

“If you don’t kiss me, right this instant, I fear I shall bequite cross with you,” Zira huffed.

Crowley stared at him like he’d just plucked stardust fromthe ether, his face was turning a lovely shade of pink. “Oh. Right. Um. Youwill?” Crowley said, voice sounding positively strangled.

“I will! I’ll. I’ll have no choice but to… to run off to thecountryside. Beside myself with longing. I can hardly bear it.” Crowley pressedforward, cautiously, giving Zira every opportunity and then some to back up, tosay no. Zira’s heart was truly going to burst at the careful way Crowleycrowded him against the wall.  

Crowley’s hand pressed against the side of his neck, slowlystill, like he wasn’t sure if Zira was real. Like he wasn’t sure if he couldhave this. This terrible, terrible man, Zira thought, leaning into the touch,meaning absolutely none of it.

His golden eyes were very wide, and Zira stepped impossiblycloser, pressing his own palms flat against Crowley’s chest. He could feel thethump-thump-skip-thumb practically against the pads of his fingertips, somethinglarge and impossible and overwhelming rose in his throat.

“Zira,” Crowley breathed. “You…” He swallowedroughly. “You detest the countryside. All the bugs and things. No sushi outthere. Wouldn’t last a day.”

Zira pouted; his fingers curled against Crowley’s lapels.Crowley’s hand slid carefully backwards, until he was cradling the nape of Zira’sneck. “We’d have to let Oscar out again then, pest control. On a leash, maybe.”

Crowley softened, something a little sad with a lot of overwhelmedhope painting his expression like hues in a sunset. “We?”

Zira couldn’t bear it then, absolutely refused to bear itany longer. This infuriating man with his sarcasm and his piercings and his hipsand his heartbreakingly small sense of just how much of Zira’s heart he’d heldfrom the moment they’d met.

He leaned forward, closing the small gap between them, andkissed Crowley with all the lighting filled adoration he possessed.

Crowley’s hand froze, slackened, and then twisted up intoZira’s hair at the same moment a quiet sigh poured through him. The returningferocity of Crowley’s kiss made his head spin in delicious ways; Zira had onlybeen kissed a handful of times, but not once had it been so enveloping, soready to pull him in and wrap him up and fill him up with relief and excitementand bliss all at once. Then Crowley tilted his head, parted his lips, and Zira feltthat electric touch of that damned tongue piercing and he was quite content notto think any farther.

[shizumble-blog]

Dusk till dawn (7/11/2019) [Atsumu x Osamu]

Not tryna be indie

Not tryna be cool

Just tryna be in this

And tell me how you choose

A mellow light shined in Osamu's face, waking him up with a cold breeze traveling to his whole body; It was the usual day, doing his daily routine...

Waking up his brother.

"Tsumu, wake up.", He gently shake his brother's body, making the blonde figure move a bit as he opened his eyes. "We'll be late at school."

"I know, that's your usual "Good morning" to me.", He chuckled a little bit. Making Osamu sigh and get out of the bed, it was usual for Atsumu to say that, he couldn't be excited nor in a grumpy mood. Just...that.

Even though Osamu is the slowest, he was the fastest one to change into their uniforms, he was the fastest to finish their food, and he was the fastest when doing their homeworks. "Tch, being a slowpoke again.", That made his brother complain about it non-stop. "Shut your mouth, Samu. Don't need your complains."

"Fine."

"Then it's all good."

They both went to school together, they were almost late for checking out the game arcade. "It's your fault damn you."

The gray haired brunette can only chuckle as he pats his brother in the shoulder as his sign of sympathy...well, more like pity.

Osamu opened the door to see Suna looking at him while holding a notebook. "I'll be returning this to you. Thanks.", He said, making Osamu gran the notebook and put it on his bag. "No problem."

Can you feel why you're in this

Can you feel it through

All of the windows

Inside this room

He seems to be distracted by something, he can only look at the window. The gentle breeze slightly brushing to his hair, his golden eyes examining the tree outside of their room. He sighs as he tried focusing on their subject, but no avail, he's still distracted by something... Something that he haven't told anyone about it.

He fell in love with his brother

Crazy right? He couldn't believed it too. At first, it seemed like he was being delusional about him liking his brother, but then, he realized, after they're growing... He fell for him.

Call it disgusting, he wouldn't mind. After all, no one knows about it. And his secret won't reveal itself, and he'll take it to his final breath.

Before he knows it, class was over and Suna was frequently tapping his shoulder. "Airhead, it's lunch time.", The ravenette said as he walks away. "Kita-san told me to tell you that we have practice after school ends."

He slightly nods then stood up, he has to tell his brother that they have practice.

After the short walk he had, he stood in front of Atsumu's classroom door, nervous; Anxiety was dragging him down, but he didn't mind.

He opened the door. "Tsumu, we will have practice after school ends-"

He froze in the spot, he saw his brother laughing with a girl. It crushed his heart and broke his mental stature; a fragile glass— so...fragile... He cleared up his throat, catching the attention of his brother. "Ah, what is it, Samu?", He told him that they're gonna have practice later. It made the blonde nod in response... It was the sign that he needs to leave.

"I'll be going, make sure that you aren't late."

"Okay~"

He walked away, he still have some free time before the lessons start again. He went to the comfort room, washing off his face, just to hide his tears. He was in pain, his brother with that girl, he can feel his heart getting smashed into pieces.

He was suppose to be the calm and serious one... So why is he breaking down like this?

Easy, because he loves his brother that much, more thicker than the bond of two brothers. And it's also because he predicted that his brother won't feel the same about him. Imagining that scarred the half of his heart, and it's too painful to even proceed.

After he left the comfort room, his aura around him felt more...heavier, as if he doesn't want anyone to approach him...ever.

'Cause I wanna touch you, baby

And I wanna feel you, too

I wanna see the sunrise and your sins

Just me and you

Their practice ended, and Osamu sat up as he grabbed his bottle and started drinking up. He didn't saw his brother beside him, making the blonde grabbed his bottle and gave him the bottle. "...really? How am I suppose to drink when it's all empty?", This made Atsumu chuckle as he gave his bottle to him. "Much better, didn't know you have a heart to begin with."

"Rude! That's just rude, I have a heart ya know!?"

"Yeah right.", He ignores the boy, making sure that he ignores him and will bother others, but, he can only feel a heaviness in his lap. Looking down he saw his brother resting. "What are you doing?", He asked, making his brother looked at him with half-lidded eyes. "I'mma rest for a while, let me in this form for now?"

"As long as you treat me to some puddings, not the ones we buy in the grocery store."

"Wha- Ugh, fine."

Silence surrounds them; the quiet harmony resonated within the gym, the mellow snore of his brother was a wonderful Melody in his ears. He can only look below and gentle played with his hair, it was silky and smooth.

This was his chance, to tell him the truth. But he remained voiceless, he predicted that his brother will feel disgust with him.

Who wants a relationship with his brother? More than that, with a boy?

He'll just fall into the Abyss, with no one to help him rise up and escape the inescapable..

Who will help him...?

"Tsumu, save me..."

The chains that made him trapped in here, this feeling of dread and sadness.

He was getting weak, not physically but mentally, he wanted to shout his feelings for him but he can't, after all, maybe the people around him will only look at him with disgust and hatred in their eyes; he wore the mascara of the fool—

a fool that fell into forbidden love.

Light it up, on the run

Let's make love, tonight

Make it up, fall in love, try

They went inside of their room at the same time, holding their gaming consoles as they played a multiplayer game where they had to defeat a boss where it drops rare items. "Samu take the lead.", He said while spamming the buttons with his thumbs, making the gray haired brunette stare at him as his character marches forward.

He was calm at that moment, he didn't let his depression get him again, he hated it. He hated the fact that he became so sad of that one harsh truth; not being liked by his brother the same way he likes him.

Such a sad thing... isn't it?

He noticed that his health level was getting low, and he didn't got the chance to heal. "Damn.", He cursed out, making his brother looked at him with concern. "Are you okay?", He nods in response, signaling Atsumu that he WAS okay.

After a while, they managed to defeat the boss, giving them rare items as they equipped them in their characters. "Nice one Samu!"

He placed a gentle smile on his face, he was satisfied by seeing his brother smile like that, he was a treasure; a diamond— strong and unbreakable.

While him? He thought of himself as glass; vulnerable and completely breakable. He was weak, he couldn't be strong, because...

Even if he became strong... For what purpose? To see himself broken again? What is he a toy that's fixable? No, he's just a fragile person...so fragile that one word or action will break him.

But you'll never be alone

I'll be with you from dusk till dawn

I'll be with you from dusk till dawn

Baby, I'm right here

It's been a month and his condition is becoming worse, so worse that it now concerns the people he knew about.

He was thin, he doesn't eat that much. His eyes were blank; as if you can see the endless Abyss in it. His skin became pale, he doesn't mind it.

Their Captain, Kita notices his condition. In which made him talk to Osamu about having a break from practicing and playing volleyball matches. He was against it at first but later accepts it.

And right now, he's lying in the bed, looking at the ceiling as he starts to cry again.

"...why do I have to make myself suffer? It's just...why can't I say it to him...?", He can only punch the wall, his gaze turned into a soft one as he saw blood trailing down to his hand. He punched the wall too hard.

He cried, it's so painful...

But then, he saw that one solution... To end his suffering.

It's his only choice, he doesn't want to get hurt any more further than that.

He walked in the kitchen corner, opened up a cabinet where the kitchen utensils are inside. He saw it...the sure way of him getting rid of the pain he beared ever since that day.

A knife, the end of a long-long pain...fall down, and let your memories sink inside.

Fall

With your eyes closed you can only have a small smile

Cry

Cry out loud until your eyes bled, a soothing peace

He was about to slice off his wrist when a loud noise coming from the living bothered him. It was loud, and was rushing towards his place. He knew who it was...

"...Tsumu?"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?", He approached him and threw the blade from a long distance of their place to the place where the knife was. He grabbed him by the collar and looked at him in the eyes. "WHY ARE YOU BEING LIKE THAT!?"

Osamu remained quiet, in which made Atsumu grit his teeth and punched him in the face, putting in into the counter as he grabbed him again. "Did I do something that made you like this!? Tell me!", He remained voiceless, but now...he was crying, in front of his brother. That made Atsumu soften his grip and gaze.

"I...", Osamu took a deep breath before looking at his brother. "I'm sorry...because I fell in love with you."

...silence once again, this time...this isn't the awkward silence, it was...somehow...

...the calm one.

Osamu felt the silence so he tried talking again. "Tsumu I-", He was cut off by a tight embrace, he felt Atsumu crying in his shoulder.

"Thank goodness, you feel the same way."

Did he...just heard that right? Him? Having the same feelings as him?

He doesn't know what to say, but can express himself in his face; his tears trailing down to his face. He forgot the pain, and was replaced by that warm feeling in his heart and chest. The burden he carried went away... For good.

"Thank you, Tsumu.", He said, sniffed as he smiled widely at his brother. "For returning it to me."

"After all, we're not only bonded by blood.", He says while hugging him once again. In a tight embrace; he doesn't want to let go.

"We're bonded by Fate"

Go, give love to your body

It's only you that can stop it

Go, give love to your body

It's only you that can stop it

[bluephoenixdruidicprincess]

SPN 14x20, Moriah -- Review

It's with a heavy heart that I must come to terms with the fact that this will be our last season finale, next year will be the series finale. We're about to embark on our last SPN Hellatus. It hurts so much thinking about that. But as far as a season finale goes, what an episode this was! This might be my favorite SPN season finale (and yes, I say that even with Swan Song in mind). In a season that has been very underwhelming for me, this season finale was awesome. I remember some time ago, Misha had tweeted that this season finale would be epic and I originally hadn't put too much stalk into that comment because after all, as the saying goes, "PR is not showrunning". And I remember hearing similar things about the season 13 finale and talk about how surprising it would be and it turned out to be just a so-so kind of finale and I'd predicted basically everything that was going to happen in it. But this finale was amazing. Like, it's so hard to talk about it because I honestly don't know where to start. I'm so glad that I went overboard on blacklisting tags last night because shit went down in this episode that I would've HATED to have had spoiled. Typically, I don't mind if I'm spoiled but this episode had the kind of things going on where you just have a much better experience if you don't already know for certain what's happening. But I think I've rambled in this introduction long enough. Let's get to talking about SPN 14x20, Moriah.

As always, there will be spoilers so if you haven't seen the episode, perhaps skip this. Like I said, this is not an episode you want to have spoiled for you.

I love episodes with Chuck in them. They're some of my favorite episodes. The show gets really self-aware and super meta when he's around for obvious reasons. And I love that the writers aren't afraid to go all the way with it. The digs at other writers, the digs at their own writing, it's great. Especially, the dig at writing in general. Essentially, throughout this episode we have this theme running around that Chuck is a writer and he's trying to write this perfect story and everytime he fails, he tosses it in the recycling bin and begins anew. But we have our heroes pointing out that these aren't meaningless words Chuck is simply writing down, he's messing with people's lives, what gives him the right to do that? Words have the power to change us. And when you think about it, that's what all writers do (at least in fiction but this can also happen in non-fiction, too). They manipulate their characters into fulfilling a certain type of narrative as it makes sense for the story and with little regard to how that person will feel about it. So I enjoyed that bit of self-awareness and meta put into it. When analyzing this show, we're always talking about story structure and how "insert horrible thing" has to happen for the purposes of the narrative and we have our heroes confronting Chuck about this and saying, "screw story-telling, you're putting us through the ringer so you can have a rounded story? We're done with this shit." Possibly foreshadowing for Season 15? Perhaps a different approach and bending the rules of story-telling is in Season 15's future? I'd be interested in seeing that.

We also got some truth-telling in this episode but unfortunately, the truths that needed to be told didn't get told. But I didn't really expect it to happen anyway. Hopefully, it'll happen sometime in season 15. I guess the idea behind this particular plot is that lying is necessary in order to create a peaceful environment and while that may be true, I feel like what was going on in this episode was a bad example to make a judgement on if whether or not a fully functioning society can thrive on truth-telling. Out of the blue you just suddenly had people telling the truth when they're so accustomed to be lying and to be lied at. So if you're not used to telling the truth or hearing the truth, of course it's going to throw you for a loop. It's very possible a perfectly well-functioning society can exist based on not being able to lie but the society needs to be raised in it and that's clearly not what was happening here.

Also, thank you Chuck for being stern with Dean when he broke your guitar. My heart cried when Dean destroyed that guitar. I come from a family of musically inclined leanings. We revere musical instruments as if they were living in my family. As a child, if I accidentally dropped my harmonica or flute, or I accidentally tripped over my father's grand piano while I was practicing gymnastics, you bet I was apologizing to these instruments. This show will not be complete in my eyes if Dean does not apologize to that guitar. Music is the conduit to and from our souls and I never want to see Dean treat a musical instrument with such ill-respect again. I'm sure you all think I'm joking but I'm being 100% serious. I don't joke about music.

Also, good on Sam for calling out Dean for being a nerd. I'm so happy that Sam is at a point where he feels comfortable on calling Dean out on these things. Dean needs to be called out more. After all, how can he really progress if no one's ever honest with him? And keep in mind, that's not me saying I hate Dean or anything. I don't, even with these last few episodes in mind. I'm just remarking that he has a lot of character development and progression he needs to get through in season 15. So Positive Police, you can stow your torches and pitch forks.

Have no fear, everyone. Mary is still among us. There were so many shots in that cemetery of the statue of Mother Mary that it has to be representative of the idea that Mary Winchester is watching over them. Either that, or the real Mother Mary is watching over them. And if that's the case, that would be an interesting figure to meet in the next season but I doubt we'll meet her though. For the most part, SPN tries to stay away from the specifics in religion. When they use religion, it's usually in more vague terms. But anyway, the amount of times the camera caught this statue in a scene, it truly can't be a coincidence so I'm taking it as representation that Mary is still with our heroes and watching over them which is a nice sentiment and definitely something they need on their journey of healing. I like to think that Dean noticed the statue on a subconscious level and that was in a subliminal sense speaking to him in a way.

I really liked in this episode how Cas felt like he had enough autonomy to essentially go against Dean. He was actively trying to keep Dean from killing Jack and saving Jack and before they were interrupted, Cas was even contemplating running away with Jack. Jack means that much to him that he was willing to throw away his relationship with Dean and that's real nice because for so long in this show, everything Cas does is normally attached to trying to help Dean in some way but here, this was something he specifically wanted to do for himself. His love for Jack is not linked in any way to Dean and he was willing to go against Dean to protect that love. Cas, I'm so proud of you.

And Chuck, my man. I have a lot of thoughts on everything that happened in the final act of this episode (I mean, what a final act this was!) but I'll try and be as succinct as possible. Chuck had me a little confused in this final act. I did see the bad!Chuck part coming. It's something I've always suspected since season 11. But the thing is, I'm not entirely sold on if Chuck is really the villain that he was made out to be in this final act. My reasoning? Well, when you watch that scene where Dean is contemplating shooting Jack, it's very evident that Dean is struggling with it but when he decides not to, he drops his arm holding the gun and we cut to Chuck who gives this very brief half-smile, almost like he was holding his breath and exhaling in relief when he saw Dean put the gun down. Why would Chuck do that if his goal was to get Dean to kill Jack for his story? And then he completely flips when Dean throws down the gun. Again, why? Why didn't he do that when Dean dropped his arm? It was very apparent from the time Dean let his arm fall that he wasn't going to shoot Jack so why would Chuck give that smile, wait for Dean to drop the gun and then lose his shit? My thought is that he wanted Dean to not shoot Jack and everything else that came after was just dressing his story for the next act in the Winchester Gospels. Perhaps Chuck is organizing his own death. Perhaps his real aim in all of this is by them taking on The End, possibly even killing Chuck, he can finally prove to our heroes that they don't need him anymore. And what also got me is that he claims that it's now The End and I'm just asking myself, "why?" From the other worlds we've seen, it doesn't look like he did it to these other worlds. He just kind of left them in the dumpster to do whatever they want.

Or perhaps Chuck really is doing everything for the sake of the story he's trying to write and the polar opposite mannerism I described earlier was just a delayed response in Chuck not quite realizing at the time that Dean really wasn't going to do it. And if Chuck really is writing off this world as another failed draft, perhaps this is a lesson he's going to learn in season 15 where sometimes your rough drafts are the best stories ever written. I also receive a kind of perverse enjoyment in this idea of Chuck doing everything he's doing for the sake of the story and ironically to create this wonderful story he wants, he created characters that almost certainly would go against him. He created characters that view their connections to others more important than anything else so why is he so surprised that when it came to killing one of their own, they couldn't do it? When has TFW ever been successful in simply letting the other members go?

And the ending with all the souls being released? I loved that the first soul we saw was Constance from the Pilot. Basically saying, "This is The End" by having the case that started it all be the first one to pop back up. I also thought it was interesting that Constance is a Woman in White and we literally just had a movie come out about this particular lore. It's probably not connected but I thought it was interesting, regardless. And Bloody Mary showing up? AKA my favorite MotW episode from season 1? Sign me up for Bloody Mary Part 2. I can't wait to see that.

I noticed that there was also kind of a smile on Jack's corpse-face. A very maniacal kind of smile that reminded me of the Empty. So I'm interested in seeing what that's leading into. Also, Billie and the Empty. What's going on with them? I'm excited to find out.

And this season keeps on continuing its trend with unreliable narrators and it's lovely to see. If anything, I love that this season has really been honing in on the idea that because you may ally with someone, it doesn't necessarily mean that they're your friend or that they don't have their own goals and objectives.

Like I said before, I haven't exactly been this season's #1 fan. And that's not because I dont understand what this season has been trying to do with it's story-telling, I completely understand what it was trying to do. To me, it just had a tendency to miss its mark more often than not and it was doing a lot of things I personally didn't care about. While the season not being terrible but nor has it felt like it's anything really note-worthy, either. This is probably the season I'll re-watch the least. But despite the season's underwhelming nature, they really brought in a fantastic season finale. When I do re-watch this season, this episode is probably what I'll re-watch the most. Structurally, the episode dragged a little but content wise? It was amazing. I give this episode an A-.

Hopefully, my ramblings made some sense. I had so much to say but yet was having a really difficult time on figuring out how I wanted to articulate it. I can only hope I pulled it off. Tagging @metafest in case anyone there would like to weigh in.

And with the SPN season done, Shadowhunters soon to be done, I'm finally going to be able to catch up on my To Watch list that my lovely followers have been sending recommendations for. So definitely during this hellatus (our last one 😭) the bingeing will be in full effect for The Orville, The Magicians, Gravity Falls, AHS, etc. I haven't forgotten you all.

[dyaz-stories]

Meeting

Back with a Gajevy one-shot for the Bonus Day of the Gajevy week! Hope you will enjoy it ^-^

Word count: 2,330

Prompt: Canon Divergent — if Gajeel and Levy’s first contact hadn’t been what it was.

“Gajeel?”

The voice is soft, but the Dragon Slayer still hears it distinctly in the loud rumble of the guild’s hall. Maybe it’s because of the wide, empty circle that has formed around him, leaving several stools free from either side of him at the crowded bar, or maybe it’s because it’s just that rare to hear his name being spoken without hatred or disgust.

Anyway, he’s half-drunk and he doesn’t think about any of that. He turns slowly, almost threateningly, to face the person, and finds out an almost ridiculously short and frail young woman. It’s only when he notices the vibrant blue of her hair that he identifies her, and his lips curve into a bad imitation of a smirk. It’s half the alcohol and half the feelings he gets just looking at the bitch that make his voice full of animosity when he speaks.

“The fuck d’ya want?”

The small woman tenses and frowns. There is no shock nor hurt on her face, though she does look a bit uncomfortable, and he’s almost disappointed.

“I’m… I’m Levy McGarden, I—”

“I know who you are,” he interrupts her, already fed up with her bullshit. He’s fed up with the entire fucking guild’s bullshit already, actually, but tonight he has exceptionally low patience for whatever she wants. “You’re with the two guys who couldn’t stop bragging ‘bout beating me up.” His smirk widens, revealing his sharp teeth. “Is that why yer here? Yer mad at me for teaching them a lesson? ‘Cause they had that one coming, shrimp.”

She vaguely recoils, but she doesn’t exactly looks scared, and it really gets on his nerves. Since he’s joined Fairy Tail — not like he had a fucking choice — most people are scared of him. They know of that one time when he was attacked, but they also know of how he got his revenge. Sure, he lost against the sorry excuse for a Dragon Slayer, but just because that one guy could beat him doesn’t make him any less deadly.

Point is, people fear him, and he likes it. He doesn’t get lonely, even though the ambiance is quite different here. Even though people talk and laugh and just all seem to get along everywhere around him and he’s not a part of it.

He can’t be a part of it, and it’s not just because he doesn’t want to. He nearly killed several people here. He has nothing to do here.

At least they leave him alone, so he doesn’t have to think about any of that, about how he doesn’t belong here, like he’s never belonged into any place where pain and violence aren’t a simple fact of life.

Maybe that’s why he wants the midget to leave him alone. Because they’re clearly not from the same world.

“I… don’t like violence,” the girl answers him, slowly. “I don’t agree with what they did to you.” She wrinkles her nose. “Not that I agree with what you did to them afterwards, or to the other people in the guild.”

He almost feels relief at her words. Anger and disapproval? He knows just how to deal with that. It’s like she’s taking a step in his world, putting herself on the same level as him. He rests his elbow on the bar. He’s grinning already, he can feel contempt and mockery dripping on his tongue as he opens his mouth.

“But that’s not why I’m here.”

That takes him by surprise. His grin disappears and he stares at her in confusion. This time, she avoids meeting his eyes, but it’s not in fear, and that only confuses him more. He can’t recognize her attitude.

“I came to say I’m sorry.”

That’s when he manages to find the word for how she acts.

It’s guilt.

Her right hand is gripping her elbow and she looks clearly uncomfortable, which was not the case just a minute ago, when she was answering to him. It does make him wonder what the fuck is wrong with her but also, though he has no intention to admit it, even it to himself, it kinda makes him curious. That girl… she has something new about herself. Something he hasn’t seen before. He’s seen women not being scared of him, he’s faced women who were just as strong as him, and even women who stared at him dead in the eye even though they knew he was going to kill him.

But he’s never met anyone who feels bad about things he’s gone through. Not the people who hurt him on purpose, and certainly not a complete stranger with basically no responsibility in it.

Well, too bad for her. Because he’s definitely going to take advantage of that.

“They shouldn’t have done that,” she adds, her voice turning into even more of a mumble. “You were our enemy at the time, but that didn’t make it okay. You hadn’t done anything wrong.” She doesn’t say ‘then’, but he hears it loud and clear.

Gajeel’s a lot of things — a lot of horrible things, he’ll admit it — but he’s not a liar. This isn’t even fun. He should find it hilarious, to hear her say all of that, but there’s a weird sincerity to it that doesn’t make him feel too good about himself.

“You know I’d have done the exact same thing to you if I’d gotten the chance, right?”

This time, she flinches. It’s the first time since the beginning of the conversation, and it makes him wonder if she just doesn’t realize how dangerous he is. Normally, he’d take this occasion to growl and scare her away, but he doesn’t even want to right now.

He’s not sure why though.

“They got lucky. They found me first, they had the time to prepare a trap. Otherwise,” he gives her a joyless grin, revealing his teeth, “don’t think they’d have stood a chance. And don’t think I wouldn’t have taken it.” Because he would have, absolutely. Just to send a message, he would have wrecked her and her friends.

It wasn’t a problem for him at the time, but he has to admit, he’s not feeling too good about it right now.

Not that she needs to know that.

She bites her lower lip, and something strange stirs within him. She’s refusing to meet his eyes, and now it annoys him. If she looks at him, she’ll get it. She’ll understand just who, what he is. Would be better for her.

“It doesn’t make it okay,” she mumbles. “They’re the ones who did it, and now, you’re part of the guild.”

Ah. Is that what she’s worried about? That he won’t fit in? This is fucking ridiculous.

“Ye remember I kidnapped Blondie and could’ve killed the other Slayer?”

He sounds almost incredulous now, and her cheeks flush pink. He thinks she’s ashamed maybe, of even trying to play nice with him, but then she looks up, and her eyes shine with something he’s just too familiar with. Anger.

“I do remember,” she says. Despite the emotion, her tone isn’t quite as biting as he would have expected. “But we started it.”

He shakes his head in disbelief. “We’d already tried to kidnap her once. You make no sense.”

He’s the one who feels uncomfortable now. He wants to end this conversation. Normally, he wouldn’t have a problem to do that, but he’s not one to flee a scene.

“No, I mean… We are the one who started it with you.”

Her eyes soften, and Gajeel wants to scream at her that she’s wrong. He doesn’t give a fuck about them attacking him, that’s for sure. She’s imagining things, making him look better than he is. Or maybe she knows all of that, and she just wants to feel better about herself. Yeah, it has to be that. That’s easier to understand. Easier for him, too.

“Okay, yer done?”

She blinks.

“You accomplished yer good deed, talked to the monster and apologized,” he growls. “Feeling better now? Can I go back to my glass or d’you need more for you fucking charity act?”

Hurt flashes in her eyes, and Gajeel kinda feels like a piece of shit, but hey, he’s used to it.

“This isn’t about me,” she protests, and it’s obvious that she means it. He rolls his eyes anyway. He’s not going to run away, but he wants her to.

“Get it over with then.”

It’s clear that he’s shaken her up more this time, but she doesn’t look like she’s going to give up. She’s brave, he’s gotta give her that. Most people here did everything they could to stay as far away from him as they can. He leans against the bar, and takes a sip of his drink.

“I… I thought maybe we should take on a quest together.”

He almost chokes. What? Where the fuck does that come from?

“It would be good for your integration here; it would show people that at least you’re trying. And it would show you what it’s like, to be in Fairy Tail.”

A smile graces her lips as she says that, and the truth is, that sight is breath-taking. It’s almost bitter for Gajeel to remember that she doesn’t smile like that because of him. He’s incapable of making anyone react like that, and he knows it. He can cause pain and fear. He certainly cannot cause joy.

He’s pretty sure it’s the first time he has ever regretted it, and he doesn’t like the taste it leaves in his mouth that much.

He needs to get her away from him. He doesn’t want her to plant all these ideas in his head, of what it would be like if he could make people happy like that, namely her, if he could be accepted, if he could be treated like everyone else is around here. Gajeel isn’t one to flee though — which means he has to make her run away.

He stands up, and she looks a bit startled, but once again, not scared. He realizes how much taller he is than her then. Girl really is ridiculously tiny, and it’s absolutely not adorable.

He towers over her, and though he definitely intends to be threatening, he knows part of it flirtatious as he curves his neck, putting his hand on the bar and trapping her between him and it. Of course, she can still get away, because it’s the fucking point, but there’s something about this chase that is absolutely thrilling to him.

“You and me, and the two morons?” he asks, his voice a low growl. “Are you sure I wouldn’t do something you’d regret?”

She seems shocked, and frankly, so is he. He should be implying that he’s going to murder them all, not that he’ll— whatever the fuck this meant.

Her lips part as she struggles to find an answer, and he feels his lips curving into a smirk. Her hand moves up against his chest, not really pushing him away, which sends a jolt of adrenaline down his spine.

“Hey. What do you think you’re doing with Levy?”

Gajeel takes a step back. He almost feels disappointed, but seeing the blush he’s leaving on the girl’s cheeks does make him feel a bit better about it. This may not be over.

“Got a problem, asshole?” he questions, folding his arms as he stares disdainfully at Jet and Droy. The two of them are certainly doing their best to be intimidating, but everyone here knows the truth.

Gajeel can easily destroy them, if he tries.

Things in the room tense, conversations’ volume gets lower. He doesn’t give a fuck.

“Calm down, guys,” Levy almost immediately interferes, stepping in between them. Her voice is soothing and she sounds surprisingly fine in this situation. “I’m the one who came to talk to him.”

Jet shakes his head. “Levy, really, you’re still going on with that idea of yours to go on a quest with him?”

Droy chimes in, looking genuinely worried. “You don’t know what he’s capable of!”

They start arguing, but Gajeel doesn’t really listen, even as the heat rises, the small blue-haired girl clearly getting more and more angry at everything they say. The truth is, they have a point. This is a terrible idea. He is a terrible person. They’re right, in not wanting someone they care about being around him. He probably wouldn’t want that either — if there was someone he cared about, that is.

“Well, then I’ll go with him alone!” the girl finally hisses.

That brings him back in, and he, as well as the two other guys, simply stare at her. They open their mouth to protest, and frankly Gajeel wants to do the same, because what the fuck is she talking about, but she’s already turned back towards him, and there’s something beautifully fiery burning in her eyes.

“Right?” her voice wavers just a little as she asks him.

He looks at her, then back at the two guys. They look both furious and dumbfounded. Nothing would anger them more than for him to say yes, and that’s totally why he does.

“Right,” he answers with a toothy grin. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow. Better be there, shrimp.”

He doesn’t bother to stay behind as the guys protest loudly, and he doesn’t see the amused, almost tender smile she gives to his back while he walks away.

Levy knows she’s taking a risk with this. Maybe Jet and Droy are right, and she doesn’t imagine how much of a risk it is, but she’s far from being stupid. Still, she has this feeling, deep inside her, that it’s going to be worth it.

Gajeel looks at the night sky once he’s out of the inn. Behind him, he can hear the loud shatter. Everything’s cold and dark outside.

But it feels a little less cold and dark than it usually does.

[olivianeesan]

Good Choices [Good Omens]

TITLE: Good Choices LENGTH: 2,998 words RATING: G SUMMARY: To answer a long-standing and important question: yes, God is omniscient-- most religions have got that bit right, more or less. There is, of course, a catch: She hasn't always been omniscient.

Crowley and Aziraphale and a lesson for us all. Written as I was speculating about the various themes of the book. Can be ship or not as reader prefers; canon compliant but primarily TV series-inspired (specifically ep3). Not subtle at all. Haven't written a fic in years but Good Omens is deliriously inspiring.

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To answer a long-standing and important question: yes, God is omniscient— most religions have got that bit right, more or less. There is, of course, a catch: She hasn't always been omniscient.

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Eastern Gate, Garden of Eden, 4004 BC

The first thunder booms; a demon instinctively leans into an angel, who extends a protective wing. They stand together, side by side for the first time, and watch humans begin their great journey, unaware that they stand on the precipice of their own.

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In the Time Before There Was Time, She lacked just one key learning, one vital piece of information, which in fairness left Her still pretty brilliant as all-encompassing deities go.

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Noah's Ark, Mesopotamia, 3004 BC

Left to his own devices, as he usually is, Crawley rationalizes. His interest in his angelic counterpart on Earth can easily be explained by two facts:

One, the existence of a fallen angel consists of nothing so much as being outside of God's love. But there's a warmth in Aziraphale's presence that Crawley feels is vaguely reminiscent of that divine passion; it's only natural he should be drawn to it. On some level he can even find his way to thinking that he's found a clever loophole, exploited a bug in the system.

Two, no one else lives very long anyway.*

[* And this was during the era of Methuselah, who was in fact 313 years old around this time.]

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Oh, God knew the Fundamental Truth of Life well enough, and She knew if there was to be a universe— and She knew there was —She knew she had to build it around this truth.

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Crucifixion of Jesus, Golgotha, 33 AD

Left to his own devices, as he usually is, Aziraphale rationalizes. He hoped he'd never have to admit it to anyone else, but this Crawley— now Crowley —speaks plainly the same doubts that Aziraphale hides deep in the most secret pockets of his metaphorical heart. Every act of hatred the angel witnesses chips away, just a bit, at Aziraphale's confidence in the Great Plan, and it is some small comfort, hearing another immortal express his own secret feelings.

Besides which, Aziraphale thought it was short-sighted and perhaps even rude to disregard the death of God's only son on Earth, and Crowley was the only other non-human with the decency to show up, demon or not.*

[* They were also both present at the birth, though each was too caught up by the pleasure-or-pain of the event's massive holiness to notice the other at the time, rendering this fact completely immaterial to you, the reader. But it is nonetheless true.]

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The Fundamental Truth of Life, She knew, is love.

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Titus' Tavern, Rome, 41 AD

The ease with which they begin to slip into camaraderie makes them both uneasy, ironically, though only Crowley tries to hide it with his usual insouciance. Having finished their drink at the tavern and allowed the alcohol to carry out its pleasantly relaxing effects, the pair make their way to Petronius' restaurant and do, in fact, try out the oysters, along with several more rounds of drinks.

It is the first time in four thousand years on Earth that the pair loosen up enough to really talk, and not just about work— which of course they do discuss, as members of the same industry as it were —but mostly sharing stories of their interactions with humans and bonding over the other species' propensity for trouble.*

When Crowley proposes a toast "to the first supper," Aziraphale quips a hope that it "won't be the last supper," and Crowley bursts into a fit of intoxicating laughter, throwing his head back and with such open delight that it quashes any shame Aziraphale might have felt about the not-all-THAT-blasphemous joke.**

It is not their last supper.

[* These are the sorts of stories that don't make their way into histories or epics; like the time Aziraphale got caught in a compromising position with a drunk monk who wanted to wrestle, or when Crowley inadvertently inspired the placement of series of enormous stones in a field of what would one day be England which caused much trouble then and ever since, or the time they both scurried around Hammurabi's palace influencing his new system of Law, each completely unaware of the other until the laws had already been formally codified.

And that's how you get such a brilliant idea as telling people what is expected of them but also ongoing stupidity about treating people differently based on their gender or wealth, which to be fair has never not been a problem for these ridiculous humans, Aziraphale and Crowley agree.]

[** Aziraphale almost invents a joke 1,950 years too early by following up with "Too soon?" but wisely refrains.]

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So She created beings whose fundamental core is love: angels, in several different varieties because just one would be dull and She's going to have them for all eternity.

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A Battlefield, Kingdom of Wessex, 537 AD

For six hundred years they've enjoyed meeting socially often but haphazardly, but it is on a battlefield that Crowley first has an Idea that eventually becomes an Arrangement.

He thinks the inspiration comes to him of necessity, because the armor is pinching him in the armpit, the chain mail is heavy, he's utterly stifled wearing all that in the damp air of Wessex, and to top it all off all his efforts are just being countered by his heavenly adversary.

But in fact, some part of him that he doesn't acknowledge just wants to meet Aziraphale more regularly, and if they start to share duties, well, they'd have to meet more regularly, wouldn't they?

He is disappointed but not surprised when Aziraphale rejects his offer out of hand, he knows the angel will take some convincing, and besides, silver armor must not get as hot as black armor.

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But it became clear rather quickly— after the equivalent of a hundred million Earth years, roughly —that these creatures, lovely as they were, rather missed the point.

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The Globe Theatre, London, 1601 AD

"Yeah, all right. I'll do that one. My treat."

It's not the first time Crowley has done something nice for Aziraphale*, but it might be the first time Aziraphale had thought to hope, or even expect, for him to do so. Who would have guessed that "puppy eyes" could be effective on a demon?

For Crowley, though, it was definitely a bartered exchange; not for the puppy eyes, but for the frisson of pleasure he had felt when Aziraphale expressed concern for Crowley should their arrangement be discovered. No one else ever bothered being concerned for him.

Though he couldn't help but wonder...

[* The very first time that Crowley did something nice for Aziraphale— intentionally —was in fact shortly after the humans were expelled from the Garden, but what it was, he has never told anyone, even Aziraphale himself, leaving us unable to share it with you, dear reader. But we are given to understand that this secret act of kindness was both "epic" and "badass".]

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It was at this point that God had Her own Epiphany, becoming well and truly omniscient. Then Her work really began.

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The Bastille, Paris, 1793 AD

Aziraphale was not, by nature, a suspicious person, but when Crowley came to his rescue at the Bastille he wondered whether there was more going on than he knew.

There absolutely was, but not in the way Aziraphale imagines.**

It had taken Aziraphale over 5,000 years to consider the idea that Crowley might be a bad influence on him on purpose rather than on accident— that perhaps he was running a "long con" in an effort to drag another angel to Hell, though there had been no more Falling since God made the Earth.

On the other hand, maybe the demon just didn't want to lose someone who covered for him at work.

It was neither of these things, of course; it simply never occurred to Crowley not to help his one and only friend out of a jam when he could.

Just as well; if it had occurred to him Crowley would have had to admit that he was rubbish as a demon, really.

[* To be fair, there being more going on than he knew about is a normal state of affairs for Aziraphale. Not that the angel is stupid; in fact, he's quite smart when he puts his mind to it. He just gets so distracted.]

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She created the universe, putting Her loving angels to work crafting galaxies and animals and magic (an iffy idea) and physics (a worse one) while She Herself put the finishing touches on humanity.

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St. James' Park, London, 1862 AD

"Out of the question." Aziraphale's clipped tones cuts Crowley to the quick. Wasn't Aziraphale himself the one who had brought up the possibility of getting caught a couple of centuries ago? And aren't they friends? What's a little holy water between friends?

If giving pain were a sport, Aziraphale might have won some kind of award for this particular act, because in addition to Crowley's hurt there is the angel's own. Here it is, he thinks, exactly as he dreaded: Crowley has been buttering him up for this, none of his previous kindness towards Aziraphale was real, the demon probably didn't even really like him, probably thinks he's a big fat joke and laughs about him in secret.*

The pair parts on the worst terms they'd been on for ages, or perhaps ever. Crowley elects to spend the rest of the century sleeping, which doesn't help his relationship with the home office one bit.

[* Aziraphale agonizes over this failed interaction for decades**, eventually realizing that it's not like Crowley could have some truly nefarious purpose for the holy water— it can't be used against angels or humans. And furthermore, that nearly 6,000 years is a long time to set up a scheme and Crowley doesn't really do that kind of slow roll, moves too fast if anything. It's quite wrong of him to assume the worst of Crowley just because he's a demon, especially when said demon has honestly given him no cause for that kind of doubt. And in any case...and so on and so on. In short, the angel talks himself out of his fit of self-doubt.]

[** Crowley just sleeps through all the agonizing.]

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Then she gave it all a gentle push.

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St. Luke's Church, London, 1941 AD

Oh.

Aziraphale holds the hefty satchel full of books aloft and stares after Crowley. It feels like a lightbulb has turned on inside his head, and it won't be turned back off no matter how many times he pulls at the metaphorical string.

He'd missed Crowley.

He'd missed the demon's humor and style and random acts of kindness. Or not so random, since they are often directed at Aziraphale himself. The angel knows an apology when he sees one, recognizes it implicit in Crowley's appearance at the church, is deeply touched that Crowley went through all that physical and spiritual discomfort to save Aziraphale's stupid face.

But the books...the books aren't apology. They are gift. They are thoughtful, in the very literal sense that Crowley had spent what could have been his last moment before a painful discorporation thinking about what Aziraphale cared about and going to extra trouble making it happen.

Oh, thinks Aziraphale.

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Most humans understand that their species is taking a crash course to learn to choose Good of their own free will, whether they believe it to be divine ordinance or simple moral imperative.

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A Bentley outside the Drinking Donkey Pub, 1967 AD

Crowley knows an apology when he sees one, and the thermos he gingerly takes from Aziraphale is certainly that. It's the trust that really gets him, though. Aziraphale isn't just giving him a deadly weapon, he's saying as blatantly as if he'd written the words on a poster board and hung it in the window of his stupid bookshop: I TRUST YOU, CROWLEY.

An angel, trusting a demon?

Must be a sign of the apocalypse.

He's not surprised when the angel rejects his offer of a ride, but he is surprised that it still stings, even breaking through the rush of warmth Crowley feels at Aziraphale's gesture with the holy water. The pain ebbs slightly as Aziraphale offers consolation in the form of a picnic, or perhaps in dining at the Ritz. (The Ritz? he wonders. Why The Ritz?)

It isn't until many years later that he hears a cover of a cover of a cover of a romantic old jazz standard and thinks: Oh.*

[* "A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square" was written and performed in 1939, then performed again and again for almost the entire rest of forever. The version Crowley first hears used on a science fiction TV programme in 2007— one year before the birth of the Anti-Christ —is heavily inspired by the Frank Sinatra, Glenn Miller, and of course Vera Lynn versions of the song, all of which the demon consumes non-stop for nearly a week.]

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No humans, and very few non-humans, know that the angel species is auditing the same course.

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A.Z. Fell Booksellers, London, 2019 AD

"Don't dawdle," booms Metatron, the Voice of God, and Aziraphale doesn't.

He's made a decision, and has made it so swiftly and instinctively that he hardly realizes it yet, let alone understands the importance of it.

If God and/or the angelic host won't hear him out, there's only one being in the entire universe that he knows will, and he wishes he'd trusted Crowley with this from the start and saved them all a lot of time, but he didn't, and now he has to hurry.

Aziraphale dials a number he knows by heart.

"Hey."

"Hello. I know where the Anti—"

"This is Anthony Crowley."

"I know who you are, you idiot, I telephoned you! Listen—"

"You know what to do. Do it with style."

Voicemail. Lord, he hoped Crowley wasn't already on his way to Alpha Centauri.

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Most angels— or former angels —would never even consider this possibility. In fact, exactly two angels have ever suspected that God slipped them a dose of free will, perhaps eons ago.

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The Enterprise Pub, London, 2019 AD

"TADFIELD. Air base!"

"I heard that, it was the 'wiggle on'..." but Aziraphale's ghostly presence was gone.

Crowley had said he wasn't going to go there, had even considered whether the vision was some hellish trick, until the "wiggle on".

But really, he knew he'd been lying, knew he'd go wherever Aziraphale said to, as long as the angel promised to be there too, which he had.

You see, Crowley had made a decision too, though longer ago, perhaps at the bandstand the day before, or when he'd stopped at a phone booth to make a call in 2008, or when he'd heard a sappy love song a year before that, or maybe it was at the Globe Theatre in 1601 or the fields of Wessex in 537 or at the Eastern Gate of the Garden of Eden in four-thousand-fucking-four BC.

Like Aziraphale, he doesn't fully realize he'd made a decision, which is why he rather doesn't know when he'd made it.

Crowley gets in the Bentley and drives to Aziraphale, as fast as he can.

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Because the epiphany that God had all those eons ago, in the World Before There Was a World, was that love is a choice.

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A Bench at Berkeley Square, London, 2019 AD

"For my money, the really big one will be all of us against all of them."

"What? You mean heaven and hell against...humanity?"

Neither of them says it out loud; there are no gestures, no glances up or down or askew, but as they lock eyes they both feel the weight of the decision they've made, deep inside, to change their definition of "us".

And despite all the doubts and questions of their long lives, they both know that they've made the right choice.

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To answer a long-standing and important question: yes, God is omniscient— most religions have got that bit right, more or less. There is, of course, a catch: She hasn't always been omniscient.

In the Time Before There Was Time, She lacked just one key piece of information, which in fairness left Her still pretty brilliant as all-encompassing deities go.

Oh, God knew the Fundamental Truth of Life well enough, and She knew if there was to be a universe— and She knew there was —She knew she had to build it around this truth.

The Fundamental Truth of Life as she knew it, is love.

So She created beings whose fundamental core was love: angels, in several different flavors because one would be dull.

But it became clear rather quickly— after the equivalent of a hundred million Earth years, roughly —that these creatures, lovely as they were, rather missed the point.

It was at this point that God had Her own Epiphany, becoming truly omniscient. Then Her work really began.

She created the universe, putting Her loving angels to work crafting galaxies and animals and magic (likely a bad idea) and physics (definitely a bad idea) while She Herself put the finishing touches on humanity.

Then she gave it all a gentle push.

Most humans understand that humans as a species are taking a crash course to learn to choose Good of their own free will, whether they believe it to be the command of a deity or pantheon, or a simple moral imperative.

No humans, and very few non-humans, know that the angel species is auditing the same course.

Most angels would never even consider this possibility; exactly two— or rather, one angel and one fallen angel —have begun to even suspect that God secretly slipped them free will absolute eons ago.

Because the epiphany that God had all those eons ago, in the World Before There Was a World, was that love is a choice.

=============================================================

As noted in the summary, I've been mulling over Good Omens-- the book and the show, both of which have been re-read/re-watched --the differences between the two, the themes, the lessons, all that good stuff, and somehow this fic was born. I wrote the "God"/in-between bits first, in their entirety, with the vague idea that if I were the one to write a Good Omens sequel they would exist between its chapters.

I'm NOT the one to write a sequel though. But when I realized I had 13 paragraphs it felt like I needed to do something with it, so I decided to run through Crowley and Aziraphale's history. I think I've got the timeline and locations all correct (thank god for the script book!), except the tavern in Rome which I made up a name for, but bear with me if I missed anything. ;)

I wasn't sure I was going to post it, even though I set up an account to, but having heard about the devastating and deadly arson committed against anime studio Kyoto Animation in Tokyo, I thought it was important to get a little more love out into the world. I hope you enjoyed the fic, but even if you didn't, let's all try to love each other more.

[runa-stuff]

Here be spoilers!

My jumbled thoughts on season 4 and the differences now that we’re on Netflix.

Alright, I’m somewhat back to the land of the living after binging season 4 two times. I have never been this emotionally drained after watching a show/movie. So much PAIN.

Things I loved and other thoughts:

- That opening song! I never liked that song but this version I adored!! Those lessons are paying off, Tom flippin nailed the high notes.

- The focus being on the characters instead of the case. This season makes it very clear how much fox pushed for this being a pure procedural. I mean we knew that the lucifer team had to fight for every scene that had nothing to do with the case of the day, but look just HOW MUCH! Most of the time during s4 I even forgot there was a case going on, and most importantly, the case’s sole purpose were to enrich and advance the character’s own storyline. It felt organic instead of forced.

- The costumes. They all looked so bloody good this season.

- The fight scenes were out of this world!!

- More supernatural stuff!! For once Lucifer was allowed to show he is more than human! He has more freedom because Chloe knows now, yes, but he was never allowed to show his strength before at all, except for the occasional door-handle crushing or chain ripping. That car scene was everything! Let him be a BAMF every once in a while, he’s the rebel angel!!

And Demons! More of that please! Love the zombie-esque way they handled the possession business.

Also Lucifer starting that boat cracked me up. Of course, he can turn everything on. 😂

- Things like racism, police-violence and mental issues being acknowledged and taken seriously.

- The way the triangle was handled. After the Pierce fiasco I was very, very worried about this being another generic love triangle. Honestly it wasn’t even a love triangle in my eyes this time, because it was painfully clear the whole season there’s only one Lucifer loves. It was more about him being torn apart by what Chloe and Eve represent, and that was brilliant.

The women didn’t “fight” over the guy. All of the involved characters learned from it, and it didn’t end with Lucifer “choosing” either side of him, but with him realizing that he wants to be HIMSELF. That he shouldn’t have to choose a side and change for others.

- Deckerstar! THAT AXE-SCENE!! That was intense and charged  and holy carp, all I can think of is: if she had wanted to push that axe down, he would have let her, wouldn’t he? He is vulnerable around her, and every time he chooses to be around her he puts his eternal life in her hands, and Chloe finally knows that. Ahhh! There were so many amazing scenes between them. Both their hearts got ripped wide open again and again, and it brought them closer than ever.

I also love how they keep playing with the fact that he’s vulnerable around her (the bar fight, him flinching when he slips with the knife before realizing Chloe is not there etc). Crying about the ending scene later.

- Chloe babe!! She’s back in the game! Lauren killed it this season, she was finally allowed to shine. Her post-reveal journey to acceptance was handled perfectly (I know many liked to believe she’s gonna accept and love him for what he is like two seconds after seeing his face, but that’s the stuff of fanfics).

I don’t wanna see anyone shitting on her because of what she almost did! Her whole world was turned upside down and she was manipulated in that vulnerable time, if you wanna shit on anyone, shit on Kinley. I’m so proud of her breaking out of that and realizing Lucifer ‘is who he is’, after all. The most important thing is that she didn't do it, in the end. And maybe that wine glass breaking was a bit of divine intervention, because the music being loud enough to break it alone would mean she’s at the very least deaf now. (don’t overthink it, I know) just rewatched the scene and saw she actually topples the glass over so nevermind.

- Lucifer finally found his brain again. I was getting tired of him getting more and more stupid and regressing for no reason. Also that dark velvety edge is back in his voice.. my voice-kinky ass is very happy with that, since his voice somehow got higher and higher with each season lmao. Oh and that scene at the end of 4x08 in Lindas office. Holy shit, guys. Tom ripped out my heart, trampled on it and threw it into the trash. The growth in the last few episodes!! And how is no one talking about the voices-in-his-head bit?

- My devil kink has been fed very well. Phew. Perfect eye-flashing moments, and use of distorted voice.

- STEP-SATAN HAS RISEN. Seriously that was awesome and cute. And finally some acknowledgement that he DOES love that little urchin too.

- Dan. Some of those scenes were painful to watch for my Douchifer heart. I hope he is the next to get into the Know… I don’t see any other way for him to change his opinion on Lucifer again any time soon.

- That whole Baby plot line? I usually hate baby plot lines with a passion, but this one wasn’t so bad. 'Aminidiel’ still cracks me up though. Still, my least favorite part of the season I think. Not a fan of Remiel either. That felt a bit wasted, probably because of time reasons.

- Eve. I was skeptical because there was way too much focus on her in the promos, but she is super cute. She also tackled some fe/minist themes that I believe has a lot of potential for the future. I hope she comes back next season, Mazeve all the way!

- Michael and Lilith hinted!! Very interested in the tension I smelled between Amenadiel and Michael, and more of Maze exploring the feelings for her mother please.

- The humor. It’s a bit darker, but still like we know and love it from past seasons. I’m still giggling over the “he got tired” pun. Heh.

- I am now more convinced than ever that at least one of the writers is very familiar with fanfiction, because some of that stuff was grade A fanfic material. Hell, some of the stuff WAS almost straight out of fanfics I read, and that I had never imagined to see on screen! I love it!

- The CGI was.. nice actually. At least the devil bits. So crispy. The wings were consistent this time and pretty good too. I’ve always been proud of this show going the full on CGI way instead of the lazy/cheap supernatural-way, as I like to call it (no offense, I loved that show back in the day), so I’m not complaining about weird wings and stiff movements too much anymore. I don’t expect Legion level wing fights ( https://youtu.be/Mp6aKCE3jSc ) but I do wish they would make the feathers look a bit less looking like.. plastic. A bit less feather-duster, at least - a proper look at real wing anatomy wouldn’t hurt. Ok I shut up about that now, I promised

- Tom Ellis’ new devil-bod. Thanks Netflix. But they didn’t overdo the nudity either, it was just right.

- Sex positivity! Open relationship! Bi! Yes! Just disappointed Lucifer still didn’t get to snog a willing man properly. What’s the hold-up? Once again only women kissing other women on screen. Not that I’m complaining about Mazeve or that Eve/Ella kiss. Damn, Ladies.

- THE ENDING. OH MY GOODNESS, THE ENDING. Final episodes of Lucifer have the tendency to build up and up and up until you think this scene HAS to be the climax of the episode, but it’s NOT. Because there’s always one more scene that punches you in the feelings until the end (and you know it’s gonna happen when a way too amazing song starts playing). And boy, did they deliver again.

I knew Lucifer is going to say something stupid the very moment I saw his face at the beginning of the scene. I could fangirl over Tom’s incredibly expressive face and eyes all day long, but I’ll spare you. I just KNEW, you know. Lauren killed it again, I felt every bit of pain and despair from both of them. I have never been/will probably never be in love in my life, but I imagine what I felt during that scene is somewhat what love feels like. It hurt, man.

A bit of angsty goodbye love-making would have had the perfect timing here and made it all the more bittersweet, but we can’t have it all.

Earlier I had the thought that Chloe probably feels guilty about conspiring with Kinley… would be cool if they used that next season when she’s going to drag his devilfriend out of hell. Also very much looking forward to some Hades + Persephone vibes - because it would be stupid to drive them apart again.

All in all I think the cancellation really was the best thing that happened to this show. I believe it would have only gone downhill on fox with the amount of episodes and all the restrictions and hiatus. Iirc, the cast themselves said they always felt like the ugly duckling there with how the show was treated. On netflix we finally have promo, freedom and a storyline how the writers imagine it. I’m so proud of this fandom, and I can now safely say that the month with barely any sleep was worth it (even though it made me kinda addicted to twitter, damnit).

I hope netflix doesn’t wait too long with the renewal - while I have no doubts we’ll get s5, I still hate this in-limbo feeling lmao.