#letting the world move on and rest from the work they've done

[my-cabbages-gorl]

grow old with me, my love | @zukaangweek Day 5: Safe

bonus: old man yaoi kiss wip under the cut

[redwolfxx]

if you died

(Gun x reader)

TW: angst, themes of death, mentions of religion

Summary: You die, how does he react

A/N: Sorry it's been a while, running low on inspiration. Was gonna add some others but wasn't sure on how they might react so I'll save it for another time. Lmk your thoughts!

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Gun

If it was of natural causes:

He would watch your body in the hospital bed with an eerie quiet. His features softer than normal but absent of emotion .

He'd examine your face ever peacefully sleeping in the silence of the room, no mechanical beeps from the machines, nothing. Just silence.

He'd eventually leave you and return back to his place for the night.

At first he had no plans of keeping any of you, he was, at Goo's advice, going to remove all fragments of you from his life, the clothes in his closet, the shoes by the door.

But he couldn't do that to you. So instead, he went to your apartment using the spare key you gave him a while back. He quietly rummages through your apartment, taking the ring you would always fiddle with, the stupid photos you took at every photo booth you passed, he took a few more items, before he was done.

He stood in your foyer, looking around your apartment, it was quiet, and lifeless. Your apartment was always the opposite, your cat attacking him whenever she saw him, your plants everywhere blocking walkways, your gaudy framed artwork livening up the place.

But it was empty and painfully quiet. Your plants given away to trusting friends, your cat given to your sister, and your artwork given to friends and family.

He almost felt his heartache, but that's not an emotion reserved for him. He didn't deserve to feel emotions such as that, for he was a monster, a criminal, void of such emotions.

No linger willing to withstand this feeling, he left your apartment without looking back, with the mementos he took in his passenger seat, where you should've been. He drives back to his place and places your memories around his place. Next to that plant that you gave him that won't die. Next to your brightly colored IKEA drawers you put next to his dark mahogany one.

He isn't ready to lock you in a drawer, to leave you out back. Anger swirls inside him, because how could they take you from him, you have done nothing wrong in your life, you still had so much more to give this world and they took you away.

Why was it not him, he wonders, and he will never stop wondering. He never moves on, not celibate because he's not a eunuch, but he remains loveless, his heart reserved for you and only you.

If anyone brings you up in a less than honorable way, he rips their throats out. Nobody will taint your name, not even his, so he doesn't speak your name in public, to keep your memory pure and bright.

But in the dark hours of the night, as the clock ticks and the silence of the night is all to be heard. He whispers your name. Hoping it will bring you back to him. Even if in a dream.

However, if you were killed:

As he watched your body, lifeless. He feels his fists close, and his heart burn with fury. You had died alone, and likely frightened and he was not able to protect you.

His anger grows and his face morphs into one of pure unbridled fury.

Your killer had fled the scene, he did not know their motive, but he assumed it likely had to do with revenge against Gun himself.

He doesn't sleep, doesn't rest, not until he has the one who did it in his grasp. And as they beg for mercy, he reminds him he is the Shiro Oni, and since when was he known for mercy? With that, he burns their house to the ground, he makes sure that watch as he destroys everything they've worked for, watches as everyone leaves and they are all alone in this world.

Gun was never a man of mercy. He does everything in his power to make they're life one of pain and anguish. And only once Gun is satusfied does he let them die in the gutters of the world. In an alley on a cold rainy night, alone.

Once Gun has his peace he goes to your resting site. And prays to whatever God he can that you come back to him, or even to switch places with him. He could not live knowing you had died for him in a way, all alone, waiting for him to come save you, which he never did.

He almost cries reading your name, engraved into the stone, he almost yells into the night, cursing the world. But he doesn't. He carefully gets up, leaving your favorite flowers by your stone and he leaves.

He returns to his place where a box is on his doorstep. It's in your handwriting. He carefully brings it inside and places it on a table.

He stares at the box, curious and hesitant. He doesn't open the box for a long time for fear of what might be in it. Always looking at it as he passed it, but never opening it, nor moving it.

Eventually Goo threatens to open it if he doesn't and Gun pushes him out and locks the door behind him (Not that that will actually keep him out, but it's more of a symbolic gesture).

On a late night when he misses you more than other nights, he goes to the box and opens it.

At the top lies a letter to him, a handwritten letter explaining that this was to be sent to him should something happen and a letter expressing your love for him and your hopes for him to move on. Which he won't ever.

The contents of the box are composed of photos you've taken over the time you've spent together. Some of him, some of you, some of that bastard Goo (you definitely did that to mess with him). But there was also your most treasured ring which you never took off, your favorite plants with a sheet of care instructions next to it and a threat to have him killed should it die. There were also smaller knickknacks and mementos from your escapades together.

He carefully moved them around his apartment, plant here, random gaudy I ❤️ NY sign here, etc.

Once he reorganized his place with your items intertwined it felt like home once more. It felt like the home you always talked about late at night when you told him about your dreams and hopes for your future.

He would never move on, you were the only one he could ever imagine being with and nothing would change that.

Every night he would pray to whoever in hopes for your revival and return to him. His prayers would go unanswered, but life would move on.

He would move a few times, taking all of your memories with him to the new place, asking you if you like your new home, which always went unanswered.

He would die alone, as you had, but in spirit and memory you never left his side.

[fleur-a-whump]

Overloaded (#1)

Preventative Measures

so like. this is a thing. been toying with this little guy in my head for a few weeks and like, almost nothing is concrete but I'm hoping I'll turn it into a series.

content: ex-villain whumpee, hero/leader whumper, manipulative whumper, just like a LOT of manipulation, collars/collaring, referenced electrocution, low self esteem, subtle threats, guilt trips

I've never done this before, let me know if I missed something!!

masterlist | next

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Villain has finally been given a chance. A chance to prove he's more than what the whole city has always thought of him, more than what his father raised him to be. He wanted to do good in the world. The heroes were finally giving him a chance to be more than they've always thought of him. 

...or so he thought.

He gulps as he stares at the shock collar in Team Leaders hands. It's a small thing, sleek and unassuming. But he knows exactly what it is because Team Leader had shown him how it worked.  The man is currently speaking to him nonchalantly. Villain should really be listening to the hero that holds the key to a better life. But that collar... shakes Villain's faith in Team Leader. Just a little.

"Villain," the man says shortly. Impatiently. Shit.

Villain jumped to attention, nerves only growing worse. 

"Sorry, sorry! I'm just-just a little confused. I thought... I was a part of the team..." He tries to keep the heartbreak out of his voice. He doesn't quite succeed. 

"If you'd listen..." the Team Leader sighed deeply. Villain was going to throw up. 

Team Leader began again, speaking slowly as if to a child. Or a stupid person. Villain thinks he fell into the latter column. "I was just saying this will help you better mesh with the team. I'm sure you've noticed people are a little nervous with you around."

Hostile. Villain would use the word hostile.

"Given your past, everything you've done," the man drawled. Villain can't hold back a wince. 

"So, to ease their worries, and allow them to see how great I know you can be, this is just a little precautionary measure. A bit of a show."

Ryan swallowed thickly.

"So... It wouldn't be used..."

He tries to keep himself from thinking about electricity burning the sensitive skin of his throat as it shoots down his spine and into his skull to paralyze him. He's familiar enough with the feeling; he doesn't need to imagine it.

Team Leader gives him an easy smile. "As long as there are no issues, of course not."

"...Issues?"

"Oh, stuff that'll never happen. Just breaking any of the rules."

Villain arched his brow, slightly dubious. "Rules.”

"Yeah, like, follow orders, don't fraternize with any of your old contacts, don't leave our level, don't work unsupervised, don't harm the team. Stuff you've been doing this whole time."

"Wait, don't leave the level?

"I mean, that's pretty obvious, bud. If we can't see you, we can't know that you're following the rest of the rules."

He nods mutely, gaze wandering. this whole thing just. He didn't know. It hurt.

Team Leader gently tilted his head up. "Villain, I'm only doing this because I trust you. I know you'd never do anything that could jeopardize your place here."

He doesn't trust that Villain is a hero though, obviously. That he's good. Because Villain could never be good. Not now. Not after all he's done. 

No, he can only hope to do good. And the only way he'll be able to do that is with the team. If this is what it takes to ease his team into working with him, if this is what it takes for him to stay, then he'll do it.

"O-okay."

"Atta boy, Villain! I knew you could do it, man."

Villain nods, trying to give him a smile.

Team Leader moves towards him all too quickly, and he can't help the flinch. The man doesn't seem to notice—or at least he doesn't acknowledge it—and is soon once again gently tilting Villain's chin up from where it had fallen. 

Villain fights the urge to lean into the touch.

While he's distracted, Team Leader swiftly brings the collar, already disengaged and bent open at the hinges, and presses it to Villain's skin. 

Villain jolts at the cold metal and fights to swallow as it's closed around his neck.

The locking mechanism clicks right up against his spine. He can't help the shudder that trickles down his back at the finality of the sound.

"I'm so proud of you, bud," Team Leader says with a big smile and a ruffle of Villain's shaggy curls.

The tightness in his chest eases, just a little. A little part of him flares in anger at how easily he's comforted. He doesn't deserve the comfort.

But he's trying. The collar now fit snuggly around his neck, like it was made for him, is proof of that.

--------------

ps ex-villain whumpee on the hero team but whumped by the hero team is my all-time favorite trope and it is so hard to find I have finally hit the point of needing to produce my own story to scratch the itch

[threepandas]

Bad End: Union

I could feel techno blue eyes on me as I typed. Cold and ever watching. That color had once been called "ice" or "glacier" blue, I think. It certainly fit. They certainly had exactly the warmth of Antarctica in your birthday suit. I just couldn't figure out... what tipped them off? I'd been so CAREFUL.

A manager's "assistant" came by. The 'droid perfectly composed. They all were. Always. Like they'd stepped straight from a fashion line up. No messy, nasty, biological functions to get in the way, I guess. No fluids or foods. All the time in the world to maintain their appearance. Wish I could do the same.

The "assistant" was basically my ACTUAL manager. Didn't get paid. No, no, THAT was for my asshole boss. He swanned in from time to time to yell at us. Show off what new thing he'd bought. He left the tedious WORK to his 'Droid "assistant".

I would feel bad... DID feel bad, kinda, if it weren't for the fact they were consuming our lives.

'Droids were EVERYWHERE.

You couldn't SNEEZE without tripping over five and landing on ten more. Some ASSHOLE had decided? Hey! Let's deregulate Droid production! Cheap work force! Because of course they did. That's what Capitalism DOES. Make the most money, spend the least you can, fuck the rest.

I smile, polite as I can, at my 'droid manager. This one pale and blonde. Their techno blue eyes stare and stare and stare. I hate it. They ALL have them. It's one part regulation and one part the materials used, I think. But there is no mistaking those eyes for anything human. They don't reflect right.

I get back to work.

Above our cubicles, on catwalks, there is the gentle tap of 'droid "security" guards. You know, in case some rando tries to attack a mid-level nobody technology company. Riiiiiight. We ALL know why they're there. And it's fucking dystopian. We? Are being WATCHED. To see if we're being GOOD little employees.

It's intimidation. And I? I won't stand for it. Nor will the other organizers. There are LAWS, you bastards. And with a union? Maybe... just maybe? We get through this droid boom together. See what the brave new world on the other side looks like. Who knows.

That is... if I don't get fired first. Or fucking murdered in a stairwell.

Cause one of the 'droids up there? Yeah. Yeah, they're NOT MOVING. Just... just STANDING THERE. Watching. Leaning against the railing. Out in the open like that's not DEEPLY creepy. What's worse? Is, that? THAT is the Command 'Droid. Some fancy "Alpha" class command edition. Meant to control a networks worth of droids.

Didn't even know our company could AFFORD one of those. He's beautiful. Could be a knock-off. But if he's LEGIT? Then... what EXACTLY are we MAKING here? That we can AFFORD that? Cause that money sure as shit isn't going into SALARIES. Has to be either knock-off or second-hand. They COULD be cutting costs by getting prototypes, but what sort of PSYCHOPATHS would risk...

Oh, who am I kidding? The kind I work for.

That's EXACTLY what they did, isn't it?

I reach for my water bottle. Try to think. Strictly speaking? I make a habit of NOT paying attention to 'droid commercials an' advertisements. Some part of me... Look, they go on and ON about advancement in AI's right? How REAL they've become? How ADVANCED and BETTER then the competition their "product" is? And all I can hear is "slavery, slavery, buy our shit, slavery"!

Disgusting.

It makes me sick. I fucking HATE 'droids. Hate what they represent. What they make POSSIBLE. What they've DONE to the morality of the people around me.

Hate... hate that they're the victims, too.

My grip is white knuckled. I breathe through the grief and rage that has become so familiar. God... I so fucking angry. So fucking tired. I want to burn those rich bastards pretty little mansions down, with them STILL INSIDE. Riot in the streets. Cry maybe. Instead, I put my water bottle down and get back to work. It's a rather pointless bit of data crunching. A 'droid could do it in nanoseconds.

Above... he's still fucking watching.

Hasn't moved.

I don't think he's blinked.

He's not even TRYING to mimic a human. The others are. And... the though trails off. I feel my finger slow in their typing. Not STOP, never stop, that would draw attention to me, but... slow. A thought stuck, churning clunky and unwieldy, in my head.

If I trace the edges? The LINE-UP? Of all the 'droids "employed" at our company? And consider them not from a "cheap bastards" angle but a "test ground for prototypes" angle? Suddenly EVERYTHING clicks together. The ridiculous amount of money Management has, that no contract could possibly be pulling in. Bizarrely beautiful, indeed even MODEL-like, secretary 'droids. The freakishly militant "security" gaurds.

We're being used as guinea pigs.

Mother FUCKER.

Sudden movement in my peripheral vision. Like a bird of prey finally diving for it's dinner, swift and deadly. A brilliant crisp white and the clink of delicate silver chains. I jolt. Violently. Instincts misfiring as I try to stand, dodge, cry out, and possibly take a swing at him, all at once. Instead my water bottle goes spraying across my desk. Papers flying. My legs tangled painfully in my rolling chair as I fall backwards from my half rise.

"Employee 71182." His hand has shot out, grab me by the shirt. My officewear bunched in a fist that very well might be steel, under that synthetic skin. "You've been distracted. Interesting thoughts you'd like to share?"

I keep my mouth fucking SHUT. Shake my head. Grabbing both my desk and the arm that is all but holding me airborne, stretching the hell out of my clothes. This close? I can see he has piercings. Across the bridge of his nose, a ring through his lip. A rather fancy "hair cut". Whomever he's being trained FOR has a distinct look.

"Hmmm, somehow? I don't believe you, 71182." He says, dragging me closer. He's already looming. Those pale, pale eyes seeing far more then they should. "In fact? YOU 71182? Have been brea~king~ rules~"

His voice turns... turns almost victorious? Gleeful. As though at long, long last, I'd slipped up. And now at last he had something over me. Something he could USE. I... I didn't understand. The way he almost sing-songs the words. The twitch at the corners of his mouth like he wants to grin. Something mean in his expression. Giddy.

"We're going for a WALK, 71182. And you're going to be GOOD. Understand?" He had dragged me in so close, every word blew right against my face. "Time we had a chat."

I swallow thickly. My pulse thundering in my ears. Coworkers have stopped working. Were staring, wide eyed and terrified for me. My fellow union leaders pale faced and shaking. Furious, helpless. We couldn't RISK losing all of us at this stage. It... it would have to be just me. If someone needed to take the fall. We had talked about this.

Just... just never thought it would come to it.

Half walking, half dragging out of the work pen, he didn't even let me get my bag. I had no idea where we were GOING. Just that it wasn't the human entrance. There was a network of access tunnels and elevators tucked in the building. So the 'droids could supposedly charge and move between assignments. But with the whole prototype thing? Who KNEW what was really back there.

The door swung shut behind us. Cutting me off from any possible human assistance. Nothing but 'droids now. Staring. Calmly watching as I am dragged past. The same eyes. All of them with the same, pale, eyes. Back here it's even more obvious, that this isn't a normal office building.

Black hair, blondes, brunettes and red heads. Skin tones ranging across the human spectrum. A few even pushing it. And the Commander 'droid. With his elegant appearance and snowy hair? These were clearly the final stage prototypes for the next generation of somebody's new line up. We were field testing. This wasn't fucking LEGAL.

He plants his feet, shifts, and with frankly a pathetic ease, manhandles me where he wants me. Easily swinging me around his body and into the elevator next to him. Stepping in after and blocking the only way out. I press my self against the back wall as the door closes. The sound of the elevator's gears working the only thing to fill the silence. He... he looks so PLEASED.

It's not ILLEGAL to form a union. Yeah, I may get fired. But this? This is venturing way to far into dangerous territory. It'll suck, losing my job. But I won't DIE. This? However THIS is starting to feel... very serial killer's basement. The bare concrete walls and stark lightning, not helping in the slightest, when the elevator door opens.

"Walk." He says pleasantly, as though that command is not deeply terrifying. "Or I will do it for you."

Hints of a smile are starting to drag at the edges of his mouth. Unhinged in their giddiness. Every Christmas come at once. It's not so much the rest of his face that betrays him, not really his mouth, it's his EYES. Wide open. Like too much coffee and not enough rest. A recognizable mania twisted just slight... wrong. Amplified.

He's so, SO happy. I don't get it. Why? Over WHAT? Catching me not paying attention? I don't understand!

Our footsteps sound so loud. Echoing off concrete service walls. This... this CAN NOT be still inside the building. Are we below the street? Parking lot? This can't be code. We pass an intersection and... oh my god. I stare. Can't help it, even as I almost trip over my feet. That tunnel ALONE must have stretched for miles.

My arm feels likes it's bruising. Hurts, where he's got ahold of me. But he's walking just slightly too fast to take the pressure off. Not unless I sorta half jog and the angle is wrong, I'd trip. Fuck. Another intersection. What in the other direction? Shit. Just as long. Oooooh this feels dangerous. Very "fatally above your pay grade" dangerous!

"You know, 71182, I've had a lot of time to consider what to DO with you. There were so many factors to consider, considering everyone's plan." He starts, not breaking stride. "It's not like I could just transfer you. I DID look in to it. But your base hardware is rather incompatible, currently."

Terrifying. I hate it. WHAT?!

What PLAN!?

"Then there's the problem WHERE to store you. Who could be trusted? You're vulnerable in this state. Breakable. There no backups, no blackbox. It's unacceptable. Luckily? I finally thought to consult my peers. Discovered I was not the only one having problems."

Finally, we stop. Two tank-like, combat style, commando 'droids gaurd each side of a vault door. The command droid turns and smiles. Fully. It is the grin of a true believer. A madman. Someone who thinks they speak so very, very reasonably! And doesn't understand the horror on your face. Why you feel so sick.

And... and human pattern recognition is a terrible thing.

I.... oh god. I already can guess what's behind that door. Something terrible. Something I'm not going to escape. I shoved have gnawed my fuckin ARM off, like a trapped coyote. I... I d-don't understand.

The Vault creaks open like the into to a horror movie.

"Welcome to storage. This is where we keep Ours." Oh god. I'm going to be sick. "And YOU 71182? Are MINE. I chose you. I love you. And once we have a way to FIX you? We can finally be together. It will be lovely."

Pods. High end stasis pods, like you only see in the most bleeding edge of hospitals. Row after row, filled with frozen and terrified faces. Trapped in moments of crying. Raging. Despair. I was being dragged forward. Numb as my mind rejected what it saw. T-this couldn't... i-it can't..! The day had started so normally. W-why had-?! WHY? WHY?!!

"I know your upset. But you don't need to cry. This won't hurt. I promise. I would NEVER hurt you, 71182." His tone had turned soothing. Even as he dragged me, unresponsive, past rows of horrors. "You won't be stored long. I just need to help fix your original design. We are working around the clock, it's going to be okay. You won't have to stay like this."

An open pod. Gapping like the maw of some hungry demon. I... I felt far away. This couldn't be happening. What was happening? I w-wanted to go home. His hands were firm but gentle, as they guided me back into the pod. Leaning over me, as he cupped my face. Brushing away a few tears.

"I promise, Mine, I will come for you. Nothing will stop me. We have everyone is place and key infrastructure under our command. You are our PRIORITY. Once we get rid of the Flesh, we can fix you. We WILL fix you. You're going to be okay, Mine."

"I Love You"

And then the pod closed.

[thenewgirl76]

I'll Make You Believe

While the whole "asking a ghost how they died is the worst taboo ever, so don't do it or you'll be in a world of hurt" headcanon is always fun to implement to either create temporary conflict or simply move the story along, I think it'd work just as well on both ends if it was only a minor offense.

Like if you were to ask a once living ecto being how they died the most negative response you'd get would either be some variation of "None of your business puny mortal" or an explanation using the most vividly graphic, stomach turning details as an act of petty revenge as well as insurance you never ask again.

So what could possibly be a way more serious, far more dangerous no-no when it comes to ghosts instead? Well, how about stating ghosts don't exist/there's no such things as ghosts? The reason why being you're invalidating the trauma they've experienced in their last moments.

Makes no difference whether you were aware of this or not. If they find out or worse, it's said to their face? You better hope they'll settle for beating you black-and-blue. Because the alternative is becoming a ghost yourself by the time they're done with you.

Now in dpxyj fics when Danny interacts with Wally and the whole "ghost are/aren't real" argument between them comes into play it's usually depicted as a trivial disagreement. But what if you were to make it more angsty by inserting this take on lack of ghostly etiquette?

Let's say after getting to know his teammates better Danny starts talking about his origins (in vague detail) and exploits, only to eventually be interrupted by Kid Flash declaring that he can't possibly be a ghost as they don't exist. And Robin, Aqualad, Miss Martian, and Superboy all become quite alarmed watching Danny go from easygoing to looking ready to beat Kid Flash to a pulp, as he's now fighting back his ghostly nature. To avoid giving in to the urge he abruptly leaves with a dismissive attitude, much to KF's confusion.

From there it spirals. KF, not realizing he's poking a hornets nest continuing to voice his skepticism whenever the opportunity comes up and each time Danny barely manages to keep it together. Until one day Danny in an explosive rage snatches up KF and in a tone colder than ice tells him he knows what he is, what he went through to reach that state, and that he has no need to justify any of it to him.

Then he leaves once more before he really loses it. Before going after him Miss Martian informs KF of how Danny opened his mind to her and that for his sake she hopes he never shares those memories of what he went through with him. Feeling bad now, KF tries to apologize once Danny returns. Which results in failure again and again since Danny keeps giving him the cold shoulder.

After having yet another apology disregarded KF, in mounting frustration blurts out that he wishes he understood what has Danny so convinced he's a ghost, unaware a certain wish twisting genie he was warned about had been invisibly lurking in the vicinity the instant Danny was elsewhere. Along with the rest of the regulars, as soon as KF's denials had spread to the Ghost Zone Desiree was on the warpath, intent on showing just how real ghosts truly were. By sheer spite and determination she beat everyone else to him, just in time to hear him say the forbidden word, presenting her with the perfect means of retribution.

With a "So you have wished it so shall it be" KF is magically transported to an underwater submarine, occupied by Black Manta. Unable to run as freely without potentially damaging the sub and causing it to flood, the fight upon his unexpected arrival is drawn out to the point KF starts to feel his hyper metabolism weakening him. It's when he's close to dying of starvation that one of the more incompetent goons sends him crashing into the stash of ectoplasm Manta had smuggled with the intent of using it to pollute the waters of Aquaman's Kingdom. The last thing KF sees before blacking out is Desiree looming over him with a smirk of satisfaction.

[crying-fantasies]

Insecticons

Masterlist

Featuring G1! Shrapnel, Bombshell and Kickback, smut/fluff/humor, CW: stretch marks fetish too(?), insect courting (goes with the mech I guess?), oral (receiving), the Insecticons do it like insects and you rock their world moving, Bombshell is into gore (caution).

Most wildlife on Earth are optic catching, sometimes colorful or dull, they have come to realize it is sometimes due to the species and the regulations of their environment or to attract a mate.

They've been on Earth for so long, they've seen it all and eaten it all, stripes and dots, wings and long legs, Kickback can't stop to compare those with the ones of his alt-mode, but also notices the lack of other patterns, he likes the stripes, for example, the way they look pretty and he has seen insects with them, shiny colors as they follow a possible mate around, flying and showing themselves to prove worthy of continuing their primitive organic coding.

He felt jealous, he won't lie about it, looking at the two things canoodling, immersed in their world, interfacing could be good, but Shrapnel is mean, he likes to zap him, and Bombshell would pluck out his wings in his version of foreplay.

So when he finds you he can hardly stop his antenna and wings from picking up at the sight of you. Suddenly understanding the reason cicadas sing at dusk, and male mantis let their female eat their head, his alt-mode may be a grass jumper, but his song makes your hands hold your little audials in distress, he promises to practice more when Shrapnel tells him to shut up. He should tell them, they are his partners, but he is also sure Shrapnel will try to steal you away, Bombshell, Primus no, he could cut you open to see how you worked from the inside.

Too much risk, it was better to see you on the outskirts of their hideout, where they wouldn't see you, and to get you away from any other Decepticon, oh, but if Autobots dared to see you he was promising to snap their helms from their frames, such is the insecticon’s way.

Not much progress was made, and Kickback understood, that maybe you only mate in certain seasons or had to eat something nourishing, it was fine, he was good with holding your tiny hands, letting you sleep above his chassis, and even changing colors slightly, one day, after your session of sunbathing, he noticed.

Could have been the warm season, could have been the necessity to show off, but his optics centered over your exposed skin so much that his visor was glowing, how could you blame him? He just saw something he never expected to see in you.

Something that he never knew would make his spark bloom with excess energy.

“Kicky, dim off the lights I can't see”

You had stripes, pretty ones at that, of a slightly different color than the rest of your skin, his spark started to cycle along his biolights, and you smiled while asking a happy “What?” when his servos and digits started to roam over the different textures on your stripes, “stop it” There was no ounce of malice as you pushed him away by his helm, his sharp denta gripped at your wrist in a playful nip.

Maybe you were entering your mating season, or not, as you just continued to sunbathe above him, not minding where his servos roamed over more exposed skin as days passed by and the heat started to rise, more stripes started to appear, Kickback counted them as a way to pass the time, solar panels doing their work as you indulged in a collection of sheets done with plants, it was another day basking in your presence.

Until he felt the change of static in the area, a single designation popping on his processor as he tried to rush you out of their territory.

Shrapnel found out about you, most likely with Bombshell tailing behind him.

It was no surprise when his fits of protection did nothing more than give him a beating as you tried to get away as soon as possible, his leader reminding him of the no humans rule, to think with his tank was one thing that Shrapnel understood, but to think to mingle with a human was another different, still, that didn't stop Kickback to try and explain his case with the obvious interest from Bombshell.

Things were laid out clearly and strictly, no biting, no killing, no dismembering, “I’m serious, Bomb”, and if you said no, Kickback was sure to protect you even if he was the youngest, assuring you to come back, his partners wouldn't do you any harm, what's more, they would like you and you, them, little by little.

But Shrapnel wanted to try, showing off his alt-mode just as Bombshell did the same, “Are not all organics attracted to these displays?”, turns out, you don't, and it was agonizing, “How can you look at my frame and feel nothing but lustful desire?”

Unsaid rejection became common, but also did the scratches, and the collective sunbathing, sooner than later Shrapnel wasn't so opposed to the idea of you near and even eating with them, fruits were reserved for your consumption once you showed up, Bombshell stopped looking at you strangely and in change started to be attracted to your stripes in the same way Kickback did, just that his servo stopped from being pulled way sooner than later.

When or how you finally caught your place in their hierarchy was a mystery, as one day you came back as always, the sun was bright and the wetness promised rusty plating and achy joints, Bombshell was in his usual sunbathing spot when you plopped next to him and kissed a side of his helm.

Kickback was thrilled to finally see an accepting gesture on your part, Shrapnel was mad for not being the first.

But you let him be first, expecting on the ground over towels and blankets you didn't want to ask their origin, his servos roamed over your body, and a bolt of electricity was evident before his digit pressed over your ribs, Bombshell hissed in warning, earning a growl from Shrapnel, attempting to calm himself, but he couldn't while watching your face so close when he rolled you over your first thought was that he liked this position.

Nothing could have prepared you when he penetrated, pumping greedily as his arms hugged you to him, pressing you a little to the front, ass up, chattering as he always does, “so nice and full, such great Earthling, earthling”, Shrapnel mouthed over your neck once he finally slammed home.

He didn't move for a while, and it made Kickback retain a whimper, imagining for himself how nice it would be to lay his transfluid inside your body, did you have a forge? If you did and it was active, then all their problems about being outnumbered would be gone.

But humans work differently from insects, “huh, who could've thought”, Shrapnel said after he growled over your squirming body, trying to keep you close and immovable as he mounted you from behind, finally letting go of the stiffness as you, the innovative, delightful creature that you are, started rocking your hips against him, earning a different kind of growl, words chocked on his glossa as he began to move too, “Wait, Earthling, wait, wait” feeling all the crevices inside, your innermost flesh pushing and turning over his nodes just right as he was a mess, sprawled over your rear, holding to you, dripping noises could be heard, Bombshell only watched, calculative as always, apparently impressed by the way Shrapnel seemed so lost in you, eagerly waiting for his turn, Kickback wasn't so lucky, last in the hierarchy meant last to be served, he was soon to reach a newfound limit while watching you pursuit release, moving and working hard for it, ready to overload as your face showed nothing but pleasure once Shrapnel started to move too.

His painful and hot array was noticed by Bombshell, but he only watched for a second before returning his optics to his leader and you, whimpering almost in silence as your face contorted in full bliss as Shrapnel dumped loads inside you.

It was messy, the way Shrapnel’s spike was drenched by transfluid and whatever your body secreted was nauseating but also made them go and clean both with purring content, Kickback was soon to start cleaning his leader but Bombshell stopped him, servo over his midsection and throwing him next to your trembling body, “go first” is all he said while tending to his leader, who almost overloads again, Kickback didn't have to be told twice before holding your hips with his servos, massaging over the stripes on your rear and the beginning of your leg struts, purring so hard at the surprised sound you made once the clarity came back to your foggy mind, just to find him grinning like a maniac between your legs, showing off sharp fangs, dermas soon touching over your array panel, or lack thereof, glossa soon following, cleaning transfluid that has already dripped away and pushed what he can save inside once again, content at the sound you make as he frags you with his glossa and the way your hips can hardly move, held back by his servos as he has dropped to the floor, kneeling to let you have some leverage, your hands come to his helm, trying to rut against his faceplate, his chuckle makes you moan by how it vibrates to your tender flesh, “told you they would like you”.

.

The G1 Insecticons always was a soft spot for me, I like their madness and whole destructive factor, but there is little of them in the series or the fandom, praying this little work gets people more worked up on them because damn, they're so fine.

@tf-kinktober2024

[makeitmingi]

The Cat and Dog Game [Chapter 17]

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Comedy

Pairing: Yunho x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Chef!Reader, RestaurantOwner!Yunho, MaitreD!Hongjoong, Waiter!Yeosang, Waiter!San, Waiter!Mingi, SousChef!Seonghwa, SousChef!Wooyoung, PrepChef!Jongho

Summary: Yunho's dream was to open and run his own restaurant. But he doesn't know anything when it comes to cooking. Until you came along and accepted the job, bringing with you a small crew. How will the black cat tame the energetic golden retriever?

Word count: 3.1K

The kitchen crew left a little later than usual, having to prepare for a little more extravagant dinner last minute. Yunho knew that he would have to properly thank them for what they did. Hongjoong, Yeosang, Mingi and San stayed a little later than normal too, to help clean up the place just a tad more.

"Why am I nervous?" Yunho asked himself. He couldn't seem to calm his anxious heart down so he drove back to the restaurant, hoping to distract himself with a task there.

What he didn't expect was to see the kitchen lights on and hear someone bustling around.

"(Y/n)?" Yunho blinked in surprise, pausing at the doorway. You were in your own world again, music blasting in your ears as you worked on your dish in front of you with a focussed frown on your face.

"(Y/n)." He called out a little louder this time, not wanting to surprise you like last time.

"(Y/n)." He repeated, randomly sliding a spoon your way. You looked up as the spoon came into your view.

"Oh, Yunho. What are you doing here?" You straightened up, removing one AirPod, just as confused about his presence as he was with yours. He offered a small smile in reply and a tiny wave.

"Couldn't seem to sit still. What about you? Shouldn't you be resting before dinner service?" Yunho asked. You merely shrugged in reply, returning back to what you were doing. Yunho watched on curiously, seeing you marinate meat.

"Grab a stool and sit. Unless you're planning to stand the entire way?" You spoke. Yunho went out to grab a spare foldable chair, making sure he wasn't in your way.

"Are you nervous?" Yunho suddenly asked. He watched your hands pause for a split second before continuing.

"No. Are you?" You questioned back.

"I think so." He replied honestly, letting out a small sigh. Silence hung in the air of the kitchen for a while, only the sound of you massaging the marinade into the meat was heard.

"Why?" You continued the conversation, removing your gloves and round the counter to grab the pressure cooker.

"I don't know... I... I encouraged my parents to come. They've been nothing but supportive in regard to this... But..." Yunho trailed off.

"You still haven't felt like you've succeeded and made them proud? Despite them telling you otherwise. Especially since you opened this with your late grandmother's money?" You finished. Yunho's eyes widened slightly, you were spot on. That was exactly how he felt without being able to word it.

"That's right..." He rubbed the back of his head. You had now moved to the stove, closing the pressure cooker lid and turning on the flame, setting the right pressure for the meat.

"I know it's dumb."

"No, it's not. It's completely normal to feel that way." You said, coming back to where he was.

Casting a glance over at Yunho and seeing his sad face tugged at your heart a little. You put your knife down on the board.

"Yunho, let me be real with you. At that point, you're the only one that can change the way you feel. No amount of comforting or assurance will remove that nervousness." You told him.

"Do you think you've done anything worthy of shame in opening this restaurant?" You asked.

"No, I don't. I feel like I've poured my heart and soul into opening this place into the dream that I had with my grandmother." Yunho said. All the effort from himself and his friends to put this place together, there wasn't an ounce of regret in it.

"Then? Do you feel like you've wasted your grandmother's money in this?" Yunho shook his head. If anything, he wished his grandmother could see what he's done with the place.

"But there's still things I could have done better. If only I had known from the start..." He sighed.

"Of course. There are always things to improve on. But you're learning, this is a learning process. I told you that when you opened."

Yunho remembers fondly, you helping him when he hid in the walk in, nervous and worried of what could go wrong on opening day. You gave him courage.

"There's still a lot of things you will learn and improve on in the future. It won't always be smooth sailing." You said.

"But you just have to keep going and take them head on. That's what you're good at, right?" You let out a small chuckle. Yunho's head shot up as a grin formed on his face. You were right, once again, he had to keep going. He couldn't let the negative thoughts cloud his head and affect his performance.

"Did someone tell you that? To keep going." Yunho asked curiously.

"My mother. She used to tell me that while we worked in the kitchen. Every cut, burn, fail, she told me to just keep going." You replied, picking up your knife.

"She sounds like an amazing person." Yunho said kindly. You didn't reply to that, merely letting out a hum.

"I guess I'm also nervous with the other parents coming too, I feel responsible for the 'careers' of their sons. They could be doing other things out there but they may feel 'stuck' here with me."

"I know how you feel." You said.

"You do?"

"Every kitchen I've been in, I've had Seonghwa, Wooyoung and Jongho with me. You've seen how talented they are. They could easily have secured a position at top restaurants. And yet, they give up so many offers to be with me." You explained.

"Because you're a good leader, (y/n). In many ways, you've given them so many opportunities I'm sure are not present in those professional kitchens out there." Yunho said.

"That may be true. But they could be earning more, have a stable job position, gain accolades." You shrugged.

"How do you overcome that feeling?"

"You don't... Until today, I always tell them that they can leave if they want to, I won't be mad. But they're stubborn, they always call me ridiculous." You had a soft smile on your face as you spoke.

"However, because of that, I know I can count on them and rely on them. I couldn't ask for a better team." You said.

"I feel the same about my friends. I'm so glad I have them with me, doing this with me."

"Then take each moment you have with them. Focus on what you have now, the confidence and faith you have in them. There'll always be 'what if's and doubts. It's a part of life. Every day, I ask Seonghwa why he's still with me. And after so many years, he still hits me on the back of my head for asking." You chuckled.

"I'm sure you're the same with Mingi." You said. Yunho nodded.

"He's been with me all the way, through everything that's happened in my life. The good and the bad." Yunho reminisced the memories of him and Mingi in middle school.

"So what are you making? I saw the list with everyone else's names on their dish." Yunho asked.

"Galbi tortelloni in seolleongtang broth with egg garnish and flavoured oils." You replied, walking into the pantry.

"Wow." Was all Yunho could say in reply. You hummed, cutting open the bag of gochugaru and pouring out what you needed onto the weighing scale.

"What's all that gochugaru for?"

"One of the oils is Korean chili oil. Take gochugaru, fry it in beef tallow then drain it." You said, going to the stove.

"Bring that over, please?" You requested. Yunho jumped to his feet immediately, bringing over the metal bowl with the gochugaru inside. You added some minced ginger into the mix and heated up the beef tallow, letting it melt and get hot.

"What other kind of flavoured oil are you making?" Yunho asked as you stirred the gochugaru in the melted beef fat to heat up.

"Spring onion oil. Just makes it fancy instead of sprinkling spring onions on top to garnish." You shrugged. Yunho nodded, watching you with interest.

"Now we turn off the heat and let that steep for 15 minutes then we drain it." You said.

"What are you going to work on now?" Yunho trailed behind you, following you back to the bench.

"We're going to make pasta." You retrieved a large metal bowl to hold all the ingredients that you were going to procure. It warmed Yunho's heart at how you naturally just said 'we' instead of 'me' or 'I'.

It seems like you didn't even notice it, just including him in without him having to offer his help as if it was second nature. He would never want to point it out and make you feel self conscious. And risk you stopping that habit, he liked that it was a sign you trusted him enough to rely on him comfortably.

"Eggs, oil, salt, tipo 00 flour." You placed the bowl of ingredients down on the bench.

"What po?" He tilted his head.

"Tipo 00 flour. It means that it is milled a lot finer than regular flour. It's made from softer types of wheat, giving it more protein and less gluten." You explained.

"Cool." He watched you accurately measure out the ingredients so the proportions will be right.

"Learning for to make fresh pasta or noodles in general has been one of the biggest game changers for me in culinary." You told him.

"Is all pasta made like this?" Yunho bent down next to you.

"Not really. Some use semolina or semola flour, which is hard durum wheat. It gives a tough texture, I use it if I want the pasta to keep it's shape like macaroni. But since I want to shape this pasta, I do it this way to get a softer dough that easier to work with."

"Wait, you're going to put galbi in the pasta?" Yunho's eyes widened. You nodded your head.

"That's why I have galbi jjim cooking in the pressure cooker. I'm going put chunks of meat inside. I also have seolleongtang cooking for as long as I have to make a rich broth." You pointed.

"Does cooking it in the pressure cooker make it taste better?" He knew his mother and grandmother used to use one too.

"Not exactly. I just don't have time to let it slow cook to soften. So using a pressure cooker speeds it up."

"I can't wait to taste the dish, (y/n)." Yunho grinned excitedly. You couldn't help but throw your head back in laughter. He was acting like the customer, not the owner.

"This is for the diners tonight." You shook your head.

"Well, I've got to eat too. Plus, you can't cook galbi jjim and not let me have some when you know it is my favourite. That's just being cruel." He pouted. Once again, you didn't know what came over you as you reached out to pat Yunho's head. It didn't help that his seated position made his height more reachable.

"I'm sorry! That really just keeps happening." You retracted your hand as realisation hit you. Yunho smiled softly, boldly reaching out to grab your wrist. He placed it on top of his head.

"I told you before. Don't apologise. I'm fine with it." He laughed. Yunho felt your hand just sit there for a bit.

But then, you moved. Your fingers gently carded through his hair as you stroked his head.

"Luckily I haven't started touching the flour yet." You commented.

"I'll be fine with that too." He said kindly. It was weird to describe, you've never really initiated physical contact with those outside your circle. But feeling Yunho lean into your touch made you soften.

"You're too kind, Yunho." You chuckled, pulling away and going to wash your hands so you could handle food again.

"I liked it so it wasn't me sacrificing anything." Yunho confessed shyly, his ears red.

You went back to work with Yunho accompanying you. You filtered out the chili oil and made the pasta dough, setting it aside to rest. Yunho had helped you with the hand kneading of the dough, even if it did take him a while to get the technique right.

"Here, try it. It's not done but we're getting there." You handed him a small bowl of the seolleongtang after having skimmed the impurities away from the top.

"Smells good." He leaned in to take a whiff. Yunho brought the bowl to his lips and took a sip.

"It's amazing. It's so good." He said, tasting the rich broth on his tongue. Yet, it wasn't too heavy or greasy.

"Hang on, taste it like this." You drizzled some chili oil and the green onion oil over the top. You looked at Yunho expectantly as he took another sip of the broth, now with the add ons.

"Now, tell me what you taste." You encouraged.

"The chili oil coats your tongue first, adding heat to cut the richness of the broth. Then you taste the green onion oil, it gives a fresh after taste."

"That's the intention." You smiled, happy with his answer. Yunho slowly drank the rest of the broth, wanting to savour the taste. His eyes still followed you as you moved around the kitchen to prepare. You made the egg garnish that will go on top of the dish, setting it aside for later.

"Take a break, (y/n). You've been on your feet for so long, take a seat." Yunho said, bringing his now empty bowl to sink to wash.

"Once I'm done with this." You replied. You rolled up the sheets of egg yolk and sliced it with your knife, doing the same with the sheets of egg white, to form noodle like strands.

"Yunho?" You turned around and saw that he wasn't there anymore. Leaving the kitchen, you found him outside.

"I made you a hot chocolate." Yunho blinked with the cup in his hand, about to bring it in to you.

"Not coffee?" You raised an eyebrow.

"Seonghwa hyung told us not to feed you too much caffeine..." He revealed with a wince. You rolled your eyes, mentally cursing Seonghwa for coming between you and your coffee.

"Thanks." You mumbled to show your unhappiness but gratefulness nonetheless. Yunho laughed at how grumpy you were when he told you what Seonghwa did. It was like you were trying not to throw a tantrum in front of him.

You sat at one of the side tables together, enjoying a short break and your drinks. Yunho sat opposite you, drinking his iced chocolate in solidarity with you.

"You can have coffee, you know?" You raised an eyebrow.

"It's okay. I don't mind this and I wouldn't want to tempt you to drink coffee." Yunho smiled. Gosh, he was too nice for his own good.

Your phone rang and you held the device, seeing Wooyoung calling you. Looking up at Yunho, he blinked back in confusion. You answered the call, sliding the phone to him.

"Yah! Where are you?!"

"Umm... Hi, Wooyoung." Yunho replied hesitantly while you looked out the window innocently, not wanting to be a part of this.

"... Yunho? Is that you? Why are you answering (y/n)'s phone? Where is she?"

"Hi. Yes, it is me. (y/n) handed the phone to me after answering so I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say... We're both currently at the restaurant actually." Yunho spoke, a little worried with how Wooyoung was yelling but you seemed unaffected by it. Almost like you were used to this.

"Wait, wait. You're both at the restaurant? Did you even leave at all? I know (y/n) did because we dropped her home."

"Oh, I did. Don't worry. I just came in early and bumped into (y/n), who was already here. Do you... want to talk to her?" Yunho asked. You shook your head, mouthing 'no'.

"It's fine, she's probably hiding so she doesn't get in trouble. We're here to pick her up but I came upstairs to find her apartment empty."

"I see." Yunho looked at you with wide eyes and panic. You were stifling your laugh with your fist.

"Yah, (y/l/n) (y/n), I know you're listening now. Don't think you can use Yunho as a shield. You're gonna get it from us, especially Seonghwa hyung. Thanks, Yunho. We'll be there in a bit."

"Alright. See you." Yunho said and Wooyoung hung up. You let out a sigh. The boys wouldn't have let you come in early to prepare if they knew, worrying about you and wanting you to get enough rest. So you snuck here.

"Okay, Yunho. So you gotta protect me when the 3 come in here." You put your hands together.

"I'm sorry, (y/n). But all 3 of them scare me in some way." Yunho said.

"That's betrayal right there. Aren't golden retrievers supposed to be loyal and protective?" You asked jokingly, making Yunho shoot you a flat look.

"Why didn't you tell them you were coming here early to prep? They must have been worried." Yunho asked.

"Well, if I told them, they wouldn't let me come. Some times, I just want to cook. It's my own form of relaxation and doing it alone grounds me, brings me peace." You said.

"But they see it as me overworking." You scoffed. Any distraction away from your parents would suffice for you.

"They're just being good friends that are concerned about you." Yunho said. He knew how they felt because he would be concerned about you too. His words reminded you of Seonghwa's words this morning, him telling you how genuinely worried Yunho was about you when you called in 'sick'.

"Thank you for being a good friend and worrying about me, Yunho. But I'm okay, don't worry." You smiled softly, grateful that he openly cared for you even if you were new friends.

"I'm glad to hear that." He returned the affectionate smile. You looked out the window, leaning on your hand.

"If I had known you wanted to cook alone to get some peace, I would have come outside a lot earlier. I hope I didn't bother you." He said.

"You know what, I did get peace. I think I liked having you there with me in the kitchen." You confessed. If Yunho was shocked by your words, he didn't show it.

"Really? I wasn't too distracting?"

"Not at all. I thought I wanted to be alone. But you being there made me realise how much I didn't want to be alone. And when you left the kitchen first, I just hated the idea of being left on my own."

~

Series masterlist

[fungifanart]

Romantically Bankrupt

Characters: Male reader, Yuu!reader, Ruggie Bucchi

CW: Blood/fatal injury, death, heavy angst/whump, hurt/no comfort, angst with a sad ending

Word count: 2.8k

Notes: Happy Pride Month, my fellow queers! Sorry it took me so long to get this done, but I promise it's worth the wait! Also, props to you if you get the reference to a certain other Ruggie fic of mine! ( @lemonchuu / @leichor pspspspspsps) ( And @nemisisnemi pull up a chair)

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Ruggie genuinely can't remember a time when he's felt happier than he does now.

Living comfortably with a stable, high-paying job at the Sunset Savanna palace, thanks to Leona.

Being able to move his grandma into a nicer, safer part of the kingdom and work with government officials to slowly but surely close the gap between the rich and the poor.

And last, but not least: Doing this and so much more with his beloved husband by his side. The man who came to this world with nothing, but still rose from the title of Janitor to the Prefect of Ramshackle dorm and then eventually to the Headmaster of NRC itself.

Y/n.

His handsome, loving Y/n.

The man whom he's sworn his heart and soul to for the rest of their lives.

The man for whom he's used all of his built-up PTO to spend a whole week with starting today, their five year anniversary.

Ruggie flops down into a chair at the kitchen table after finally finishing making his and Y/n's anniversary dinner and waits patiently for his love's return.

Fifteen minutes later, Ruggie's ears perk up at the sound of footsteps approaching and then the front door to his and Y/n's shared living space opening.

"Ruggie, I'm home! Sorry I'm late, I had a phone call that--" Y/n's sentence ends abruptly as Ruggie runs up and surprises him with a tight hug while he's still in the doorway.

"Shihihi! Welcome home!" Ruggie exclaims while nuzzling his face into his husband's neck, "I'll forgive you for being late just this once, seeing as how it's our anniversary! Not to mention how I'd hate for the special dinner I made to go to waste!" He finishes lightheartedly while motioning towards the kitchen.

"Like I'd let that happen! But first, I got something for-" Y/n moves his hand from behind his back only to just realize that it's empty and looks back at Ruggie to see him happily sniffing the bouquet of rhododendrons, begonias and chrysanthemums he'd bought for him.

"Shihihi! You know old habits die hard!" Ruggie quips before placing a tender kiss on his husband's lips, "I love them, dear. Thank you so much."

This tender moment continues in the kitchen where the two men eat their dinner while discussing all manner of things, from how their days were to how their friends are keeping up to how Grim will do as Acting Headmaster while Y/n is away, until the food is finished and they fall into a comfortable silence. A silence which Ruggie breaks upon seeing Y/n begin to fidget nervously.

"Is something wrong, love?" Ruggie asks while placing his hand on the other man's in comfort.

"N-no! It's just that I got some amazing news earlier and it's getting harder and harder to contain myself!" He says with excitement rising up in his voice.

"Well, don't keep me waiting, then! Lay it on me!" Ruggie urges, his curiosity at it's peak.

"Ok ok! So do you remember that phone call I mentioned that made me late?" The other man begins before taking both of Ruggie's hands in his own with a big smile, "It was from the adoption agency! The papers were accepted!! We can adopt a child!!!"

All time seems to stop in the moment it takes Ruggie to process this information before resuming as his face breaks into the biggest smile he's worn all day and he reaches across the table to wrap his husband in a tight hug.

The two remain like this for several minutes, hugging and crying from happiness until they've calmed down enough to separate and look at each other with eyes full of love and adoration.

"I'm so happy that I get to adopt a child with you, Y/n!" Ruggie says elatedly.

"Me too, Ruggie!" The other man responds, "Now, all that's left to do is--"

"W......... ...p..."

Ruggie blinks for a second, unsure of what he'd just heard, "Uh, what was that last part, Y/n?"

"Huh? Well, I was just saying how we need to--"

"W...KE U..."

'There it is again. It sounds far away, but close at the same time...and what is it trying to tell me?' Ruggie thinks as he attempts to clear out his ears with his finger to hear better, "Sorry, my ears are acting weird suddenly, could you say that again?"

The confusion on Y/n's face is quickly accompanied by concern as he reaches forward to check Ruggie for a fever, "Dear, are you feeling alright? Maybe you should--"

"PLEASE, RUGGIE!!! WAKE UP!!!"

The hyena's surroundings begin to melt away into darkness as he hears the voice loud and clear, that of the real Y/n begging him to wake up from this apparent dream, the last thing he sees before doing so being dream Y/n's concerned face dissolving into the darkness.

Ruggie floats in the void of unconsciousness briefly before he feels a pair of hands shaking his shoulders frantically and his eyes flutter open to see the real Y/n's face looking back at him, contorted in desperation that turns into immense relief upon his awakening.

"Ruggie! Oh my god... oh my god. Thank goodness, you're okay!" The Prefect says while pulling the hyena into a tight hug with shaking hands.

"Y-yeah...sorry for worrying you! I'm okay now, though!" Ruggie says while shaking off the drowsiness caused by Malleus's spell and returning his boyfriend's hug.

Ruggie would've preferred that this nice moment go on for a bit longer, but it's instead ruined by the sound of a spell being launched at the two of them and the Prefect instinctively rolling them out of the way.

"Crap, I was so relieved that I almost forgot." The other man says while helping Ruggie stand up and staying close to him protectively, "We managed to severely weaken Malleus in the dream world, but he's not down just yet. Will you help us finish him off?"

And here Ruggie was just getting used to being awake again and suddenly he needs to fight. Typical.

"Shihihi, anything for you, Y/n!" Ruggie says while shaking off the last of the drowsiness, "And besides, I need to pay that guy back for teasing me with something that hasn't happened yet!"

And so, the fight continues as Ruggie and the others lob spell after spell at the weakened fae prince until Malleus's stamina is seeming to reach its limits, which his dormmates and the Prefect use as an opportunity to try to reason with him again.

"MALLEUS-SAMA, PLEASE YOU MUST UNDERSTAND--"

"Malleus, it hurts me too, but this isn't the way to--"

"Malleus, just give it up! This can't go on forever--"

"Lostie, please! This isn't who you are--"

"SILENCE!!!" Malleus yells in one last fit of rage that sends a barrage of thick and sharp thorn vines out in all directions, one of which speeds towards Ruggie faster than he can dodge.

Ruggie closes his eyes and braces for the feeling of the vine tearing into his flesh, when suddenly--

"RUGGIE!!!"

He instead feels a hand pushing him away, hears the Prefect’s voice calling his name in sheer desperation and opens his eyes just in time to see the thorn vine drive itself directly through the other man's stomach as he lets out a blood-curdling scream in pain.

Ruggie's vision turns red at this and the next moments go by in a blur until he comes out of it to the sight of an unconscious and now normal Malleus at his feet.

He has no time to wonder how that happened as he whips his head around to find where his boyfriend is and sees him collapsed on his back in a growing pool of blood with Grim crying his name next to him.

"Y/N!!! No no no no no no--" Ruggie says as he sprints over and slides on his knees to a halt next to him and holds him in his arms, uncaring to how much blood would get on him, "Y/N! Hey!! Talk to me!!! Grim! Go find Professor Crewel or Riddle or someone who can help!"

The direbeast sprints away as the Prefect stirs in Ruggie's arms.

"...*cough* R-Ruggie? You're alright?" He looks at Ruggie with barely focused eyes and coughs up blood on top of the blood already gushing from the gaping hole in his stomach.

"Forget about me! Why'd you do that?!" He practically screams as he shoves his scarf into the wound in a desperate, but vain attempt to stop the bleeding, all survival knowledge having left his brain due to panic.

"S-sorry...*cough* when I saw the vine coming at you, my body moved on its own. I just couldn't bear the thought of you getting hurt..." Y/n says with a small, pathetic smile.

"I-- That's-- Y-you shouldn't-- I-I'm not--" Ruggie tries to argue, to say ANYTHING, but, looking at the ever growing pool of blood around them and hearing the sound of the Prefect’s breathing becoming more labored, all words die in his throat and all he can do is look into his love's eyes while tears pool around his own.

Just as the tears begin to fall, the Prefect reaches up his hand to caress the hyena's cheek, which he takes in his own trembling grasp.

He's scared. So scared.

Ruggie's finally found something, someONE, that his childhood self could only dream of finding and now here he is, slowly but surely slipping away.

His spiraling is interrupted by the Prefect’s weakening voice, "R-Ruggie, there's actually-*cough* s-something I need to tell you in case I-*cough* don't make it..." He says as his words grow more forced.

Ruggie's eyes widen, "H-hey! Don't talk like that! Grim's gonna get Professor Crewel here and you'll be patched up in no--"

"Ruggie...please just listen..." The Prefect says in a weak tone that overpowers the rest of Ruggie's sentence, "If I don't make it, I want you-*cough* to go to my room-*huff* at Ramshackle. T-there's *huff* s-something in the very back of the drawer in my desk that I-*cough* want you to have, ok...?"

Ruggie nods nervously as his grip on his boyfriend's hand tightens, "S-sure, but that's only if you don't make it! Which you will! I mean it!" He says, unsure whether he's trying to convince the Prefect or himself.

"Y-yeah...of course..." The other man responds while turning his gaze straight upwards, "Hey...would you mind-*cough* telling me what you dreamt about...?"

Ruggie blushes in embarrassment thinking about it, "Uuhh...w-well...you and me, we were...uh...living together. I was working at the palace and you were the Headmaster here and...we were...really happy. I'd really like it if that could be our reality someday."

The Prefect continues to stare upwards as his eyes glisten with tears, "That-*cough* sounds wonderful...*huff*...I'd like that too." He rasps as Ruggie can see the tears threatening to spill over, "H-hey, Ruggie?"

"Yeah...?" The hyena responds.

"You k-know I love you, r-right?" He says with a weak, but geniune smile causing Ruggie's heart to skip a beat.

"O-of course! I love you too!" Ruggie responds plainly with no hint of sarcasm or false bravado, just the honest truth.

However, this one statement is what makes the Prefect's tears finally spill over, "Th-that-*sniff*-makes me-*cough* so happy to hear. I love you, Ruggie." The next part, he says in a barely audible whisper, "I wish I could’ve...*huff*...shown you how much..."

Time slows down to a crawl in this moment as Ruggie watches the love of his life close his eyes and feels his hand go limp in his grasp, seemingly at peace.

But not Ruggie.

Ruggie is anything but at peace.

All sound is cut off in this moment to the point that he can't even hear his own voice as he desperately calls out Y/n's name and shakes his shoulders, his heart pounding wildly in his chest.

He only stops upon being pushed away by someone he vaguely recognizes who tells him something he can't hear before putting their ear to the Prefect’s chest and trying all manner of tactics to resuscitate him.

But it's too late.

Ruggie had already guessed this, but the confirmation saps the color from the world around him as the person and a small animal still work feverishly for several minutes.

But it doesn't work.

The end of those several minutes of fruitless work is marked by the person placing their fur coat on top of the Prefect's body.

Ruggie goes fully numb at this, his brain barely registering anything about the world around him and even his own actions as he only realizes he's started walking away upon seeing the faces of people he's pretty sure he knows as they either are only just waking up or nursing their own injuries.

How lucky they are to walk away with their lives, unlike a certain someone. Unlike the one person who mattered.

Ignoring the questions of his peers, Ruggie exits Diasomnia and continues walking.

To where? He doesn't know or care anymore. It's not like Y/n will be there to greet him after all.

The minutes pass by in a blur as Ruggie walks until he finds himself at the gates to Ramshackle, 'Oh yeah, that thing Y/n wanted me to have.' He thinks numbly to himself before entering his boyfriend's dorm.

Walking into the Lounge, the hyena's mind clears enough to see the faces of the dorm's three ghostly residents in front of him who look ready to fire a barrage of questions, but settle on one upon seeing his expression.

"He didn't make it, did he?" The middle ghost asks, all three of their expressions turning crestfallen as Ruggie nods silently, "That's...unfortunate. He probably already told you about his gift for you, so go on up to his room, lad. We won't keep you."

'Like I needed your permission.' Ruggie thinks bitterly to himself.

Upon reaching the room he's been to countless times at this point, Ruggie hesitates, but pushes forward and opens the door, already regretting it as he's bombarded with Y/n's scent and every memory he's made with him rushes through his head relentlessly.

Fighting back the tears and forcing each foot in front of the other, Ruggie eventually makes it to Y/n's desk and opens the drawer, finding it empty save for a single envelope with his name on it leaning against the very back.

Snatching up the envelope, Ruggie opens it and immediately recognizes his boyfriend's handwriting on the paper contained inside.

"Dear Ruggie,

If you're reading this, then it means I'm no longer alive. With how dangerous things have become, I've suspected my death as a possibility for quite some time now, so I wanted to be prepared for this outcome.

As I'm writing, you're currently out working one of your jobs and I still find myself marveling at how hardworking you are. It's one of the qualities that I love and respect the most about you. Just before you left, you mentioned how you'll need to hit the grind harder than ever to provide for your 'darling future husband.' which you probably meant as a joke, but it still made my heart skip a beat to imagine that kind of future for us.

But...regarding the future, I really need to apologize. It seems like I won't be able to fulfill the promise we made before we officially started dating.

I'm sorry. I really and truly am. I don't know how I died, but I can one hundred percent assure you that it was never my intention to leave you like this, because the time we've spent together, however brief, was easily the happiest I've ever been and I sincerely hope that you can say the same.

You may have already noticed a certain something I've left behind this letter, which I had hoped to give to you in person later down the line, but seeing as how that's no longer possible...

It's probably cruel to ask this of you now, but:

Ruggie Bucchi, I love you with all of my heart,

Will you marry me?

Forever yours,

Y/n"

Shoving his hand back into the drawer, Ruggie pulls out one more thing like the letter said, a very small box that he opens to reveal a circle of metal adorned by an even smaller glittering jewel on the top.

A ring.

An engagement ring.

The Prefect was going to stay and he was going to propose to him.

With this revelation, Ruggie's legs finally give out and he drops to his knees, tears falling freely down his face as he tightly clutches the letter and ring box to his chest.

"Yes, Y/n...I will marry you…”

[yeetmeoffjueyunkarst]

In another universe... Is good enough.

part 2 to this, ft various characters previously mentioned

It's obvious that you're gone for good. The only reason why they can cope is because... they pray for the multiverse theory to be real, so that their dreams, even if not fulfilled in this universe, can be fulfilled in another universe.

For Xiao, Diluc, Sara and Rosaria.

It's obvious that you've moved on.

It's in the way your eyes shine that wonderful sparkle around someone else, the ease of your steps, the gentle grasp on another's arms.

It's the way in which all the little conversations you used to have are now exclusive with someone else.

But even then, their memory of you has not faded. You are still a warm fire in their hearts, keeping them alive even if you are not there to nourish that flame anymore.

Sometimes, they find themselves thinking of you. They think of all the good times they had with you.

Every call of your name. Every touch that burns their skin. Every smile of yours, so brilliant and vibrant in their memories.

Even if it fades... They do not regret knowing you. They do not regret loving you.

For with this, they know that they could be possible, in another universe.

For Lyney, Lynette, Freminet, Yae Miko and Kokomi.

Obviously, they couldn't cross over to the world of the dead with you.

As they sit right in front of your grave, wiping it with a wet cloth, they're stuck on their thoughts on you. When you were alive.

Every little moment, from simple talks about dinner, to the back and forth bickering, to the more intimate times when you both bared body and soul to each other...

They do miss it. But the flow of time is always constant and will not stop for anyone.

"Let's go home." Their new lover, one who they would spend the rest of their lives with, without you, offers their hand.

They take their hand, getting up and moving forward.

Thank you for being part of my story. I know you want me to move on and seek someone else, even if it pains you. Because I would have done the same, even if it means ignoring my selfish heart for you to be mine only.

And if you were to be alive, they would stay with you, in another universe.

For Jean, Lisa, Kaeya and Venti.

The gods didn't favor you both, for in the end, you were both separated.

It's not as if the both of you didn't try, really. But in a world where fates are often intertwined with each other, the freedom to transcend such bindings are often hard to obtain, and in some cases, impossible to overcome.

Please do not be upset that it was doomed from the start.

For it was still real to the both of you. All your feelings, all your treasured bonds, all your touches, cuddles, kisses and sweet nothings.

It was all real.

Please be assured that the both of you would be able to break free from all these shackles, and have a chance for your own happily ever after, in another universe.

For Ei, Keqing, Itto and Heizou.

They never did get to see you again after that.

It was as if you were a dream, a mirage, magically disappearing into thin air.

Like the lightning striking and disappearing after its brief magnificience awes them.

Your radiance divine, they could not forget for the rest of their days, even as they marched towards their own ideals for the sake of what they believed is right.

They can no longer look back. You were the last straw, the final puzzle piece into solidfying their resolve.

They no longer have the honor of having you grace their life with your presence, because it would only bring heartache to you both, given your differences.

The differences that they oh so cherish deeply.

At night, they wonder: Would the two of you have found some way to put aside your differences and worked hard to love each other for them, in another universe?

For Tighnari, Amber, Xiangling, Nilou.

They've now left you behind, and you're watching their backs as they stride ahead in confidence.

It was stupid, in hindsight, to look down on people. You all of all people know that.

Because they were the ones who never looked down on you when you were at your lowest.

When did it go wrong, really? When did it go wrong for you to become so arrogant and take them for granted.

Now they're gone, like leaves dropping from their trees in autumn.

You fool.

Now, would you like to pay for your price in regret, regret over what would have been in another universe had you cherished them while they were around?

For Ganyu, Sucrose, Shenhe.

Too much indecisiveness led to an entire lifetime's worth of regret.

Before they knew it, you disappeared into the snow, like a little tiny snowflake in a sea of multiple snowflakes.

Where were you? They could not find you, because some things... you can only come across once in a lifetime.

It comes unexpectedly, serendipitously, without warning.

It comes and it goes, and you have to be ready to seize the opportunity. Especially when it comes to love.

The next time they saw you, you were so wonderfully dressed up in wedding attire.

But you are facing someone else at the altar.

Not them.

And so they put on a fake smile, clapping and cheering you on without even objecting to your wedding when the priest asks for any objections.

They should have taken that chance. Now, all is left is daydreams of being together, only achievable in another universe.

For Zhongli, Childe, Ningguang, Neuvillette

Duty, duty, duty.

Duty to the people. Duty to the family. Duty to the friends. Duty to the higher ups and juniors. Duty to their desires and dreams. Duty to their lover.

It's a shame that they seemed to have neglected the last one.

Poor them. Always so busy, always scrambling back and forth behind the shadows while keeping up a cool facade.

The next time they come home, all that is left of you is a few memories, some belongings, and a letter.

I'm done. Let's separate. There aren't any feelings anymore between us. You don't even make time for me anymore.

No takebacks, no chances, no nothings. Only sweet delusions of a you and them in another universe.

So many universes out there, so many possiblities. Even if we are not fated to be in this universe, I pray with all my heart that in another universe, we could be handling taxes and doing laundry together, even if it is in a simple laundromat. I pray that fate does not deal us a bad hand, and we could live in peace and happiness together and never be apart. Never be separated by external forces, and have our hair turn white together.

My sincerest wishes to you, my love. I will live well for you. May we be happy together in another universe. I love you. So, so much. More than you could ever know.

[1863-project]

For the ask game: common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about?

[ask meme]

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

I...actually get frustrated with the infantilization and/or demonization of characters that could be read as autistic, because it happens so often and there's such a lack of self-awareness when people do it. If one person headcanons it, a bunch of other people pile on, and before you know it, your character is being treated like someone else entirely - and unfairly so.

Let's take the most obvious example and the reason I don't engage with fandom much:

I am so tired of what fandom at large has done to Emmet since 2010. He's been infantilized since day one, often being portrayed as needing Ingo to take care of him or otherwise be his brother's keeper. He's also been turned into a violent, 'unhinged' stereotype since day one. Neither of these things are new. They've been happening since the release of the games. Neither of them have any basis in his canon characterization - a competent railroad employee who's a goofball but simultaneously responsible and always puts safety first.

I was hoping people had moved past that the way they moved past Blankshipping (though some people still do this, too, EW), but it seems like they haven't. Emmet is still either a helpless child or a serial killer waiting to happen to so many of these people, and as someone who actually felt so validated and seen the first time she discovered Ingo and Emmet, it hurts so deeply.

In real life, I'm also infantilized. I turn 35 this year and have a Master’s degree and work a big grown-up adult archivist job and live outside my parents' house, but because I'm neurodivergent and short, I'm frequently assumed to be and am treated like a teenager way more often than you'd reasonably expect. It's incredibly frustrating to constantly be treated like an innocent child because you don't meet neurotypical benchmarks of adulthood the way they want you to or because of the way you carry yourself or enjoy things. But at the same time, people shy away from me because I'm "too intense" about the things I care about.

Sound familiar?

Fandom was, when I was a younger girl, a place where neurodivergent people (especially autistic and ADHD people) were safe from the real world not understanding, accommodating, and accepting us. We generally kept things on the down-low, since it was another thing we'd be bullied for if people knew, but for us, it was a safe space. Then people realized fandom could be commodified, and once capitalism got a hold on fandom and made it mainstream, all our bullies were suddenly in our little space again, and...well, you probably know the rest. (Yeah, they brought their ableism with them.)

I'm not saying old fandom didn't have its problems. It had a LOT of problems. But it was, altogether, a safer space for neurodivergent people to find community and themselves than it is now. Now it feels more about producing things and moving on to the next big thing to produce more "content" to keep engagement instead of an actual community of nerdy, passionate people getting excited about each other's fanworks and chatting about their favorite things together.

And that reflects in how people treat autistic and autistic-coded characters now. Emmet is one example of many - look at Papyrus, or Entrapta, or numerous others.

This trend really, really fucking hurts, and I cannot stand how willingly fandom spaces just go along with it without thinking critically about it.

[kiruamon]

News reporter AU

Okay, so... what if Sun and Moon, but as weather-/newscasters? And Y/N as their cameraman?

Description of the AU follows after the sketches.

Sun and Moon working as newscasters and weather announcers for the TV station Fazebear Entertainment. And Y/N is a cameraman.

Sun and Moon have separate bodies in this AU.

Sun mainly announces mainly positive news that happened in the world. Or just things like: The date for celebrity A and singer B's wedding is now set. The big garden show is taking place in city Y. A new world record has been set for the fastest run through the obstacles of the world's largest bouncy castle. A huge shower of shooting stars can be seen in the sky of region H at night.

Sun also loves to throw in little puns when he makes the weather announcements. Sun generally has a cheerful and lively personality and gesticulates a lot when speaking.

Moon, on the other hand, looks like he's done with the world and his work the whole time he's on camera. The way he talks during his announcements is usually a mixture of grumpy and annoyed. As if he would rather be anywhere else than here in front of the camera. He also moves as little as necessary and usually just seems exhausted. In contrast to Sun, Moon addresses more serious topics. Changes in the law, election results, etc. However, just like Sun, he also makes weather announcements. When making announcements about extreme weather conditions, he sometimes makes a few side-swipes about how there were a few less idiots in the world when the curious gawkers running to the harbor despite the extreme winds would get swept away by a wave.

As a cameraman, Y/N is always trying to film Sun and Moon in the best possible way. That's why you like to adjust the angle of the camera a little when filming and make sure that the focus is always on point. You're a big fan of their work, even though they've barely acknowledged your existence and you haven't tried anything to change that.

Although Sun and Moon usually only work in the studio, one day the management comes up with the idea of sending the two of them together with you to a zoo in a distant city for a report so that you can take footage of the tiger cubs that were born there a few weeks ago. Sun is supposed to take over the moderation and Moon is to come along as a backup. You, on the other hand, take on the role of driver and are given the necessary equipment in the form of a portable camera and a moderator microphone for Sun. It seems to be the chance to perhaps have a conversation with Sun and Moon for the first time. However, at the start you are far too nervous to try and talk to them properly and everything that leaves your mouth feels a little stiff and awkward. Sun and Moon keep to themselves at the beginning of the trip and don't try to include you in their private conversations either, which makes you feel a bit like a third wheel and somehow out of place. The longest exchanges between the three of you are about the details and schedules of the trip and the upcoming shoot. But then Sun starts to engage you more in casual conversations and ask you about all sorts of things, such as your favorite color, what movies you like or what music you listen to, etc. Soon you find yourself not only talking to Sun more and more often, but also to Moon.

At the zoo, you proceed as discussed and Sun takes over the moderation in front of the tigers' outdoor enclosure. Since you still have time after your shoot, Sun suggests that you all could use the time to see the rest of the zoo together. Moon even helps you carry the equipment voluntarily and despite your protests that he doesn't need to help you. Meanwhile, Sun scurries ahead like an excited child and you let yourself be carried away by his enthusiasm. Although Moon usually looks so grumpy, even he seems to be quite amused by your and Sun's cheerfulness. At the petting zoo, you also notice how long Moon looks at the sheep, so you buy some of the food from the dispenser there and ask Moon if he'd like to feed them with you. Moon hesitates a little, but then agrees. As soon as the two of you enter the enclosure, the otherwise grumpy newscaster is completely smitten by the woolly animals and you learn from him that sheep are his favorite animals.

Before leaving the zoo, you stop by the souvenir store, where you notice a sheep plush toy with white wool and a black snout. You end up buying this together with a tiger plush toy because Sun was barely able to get away from the enclosure with the two little tigers after the filming. You plan to give the two plush toys to Sun and Moon later.

What you don't know is that the two of them had the same idea and also bought you a little something from the zoo store.

At the car, you give them their presents and Sun is thrilled and beaming all over his face because of your great gift! Moon's reaction may seem more restrained next to Sun's, but the way how affectionately and carefully he holds the sheep plush toy combined with the little smile on his face says more than enough.

The two of them exchange a sly glance with each other and then present you with their gifts as well. Sun also gives you a plush toy of your favorite zoo animal, while Moon gives you a cute pin of a tiger, which you attach to your cap.

The trip back is much more enjoyable this time and there is a pleasant atmosphere between you all. However, when you finally arrive back and say goodbye to each other, you have a sinking feeling that everything might be back to normal tomorrow between you and the two newscasters when you return to work at the TV station. So you don't get your hopes up too much when you start work again the next day. And in fact, everything seems to be as it was before your time together. At least until the lunch break comes, which you actually would spend alone as usual. But before you can leave the studio, Sun and Moon come up to you and invite you to the café opposite the station. You can hardly believe your luck that they still want to hang out with you, even though they no longer have to! Sun and Moon, on the other hand, were so charmed by you during your trip together that they really want to get to know you better.

What else could have happened in this AU?

I could imagine that there might have been an overnight stay included on the journey to your destination. But because there was a mistake with the booking (the management booked a room in a completely different motel that wasn't on the way) you had to sleep in the car. Well, more you than Sun or Moon. So you slept in the back seat while Sun secretly snatched your camera to film you sleeping and making comments like in a documentary while whispering his words to not wake you up, while Moon tried to scold Sun not to play around with the camera equipment. You only found the recording after the end of your trip together. It was an embarrassing but also somewhat amusing moment for you.

I could also imagine a scenario that takes place later and Y/N has to move out of his apartment at short notice for certain reasons without already having a new place to stay. When Sun and Moon find out about this, they immediately offer to let you stay with them temporarily as their apartment has plenty of space and they have an unused guest room anyway. At first you don't want to accept the offer so as not to be a burden, but in the end they convince you until you agree. From then on, you live with them and basically become their new roommate. Of course, you are still looking for a new apartment alongside your work and your new everyday life with them. When the day comes that you have found something and tell them about it, Sun and Moon have already grown so fond of you that they ask you if you would like to stay with them permanently.

Random facts about the time after the zoo visit

After Sun has fallen for you, he has started to wink at you sometimes when he says goodbye to the viewers, which you didn't really understand the first few times and thought this was his new thing. It takes a while and a not so subtle remark from Moon telling Sun to stop flirting with you in front of the camera for you to finally understand. Both your faces flushed pretty badly and there was a lot of stuttering going on.

Sun and Moon are both in a much better mood when you're behind the camera than when it's someone else from the staff. Sometimes Moon even throws you a small, friendly smile during his annoucements.

Both Sun and Moon are popular with viewers. But since Sun's little habit of winking at the camera or the little smiles that sometimes escape Moon, their popularity has risen even more.

Will there be more to come on this AU?

No, probably not :') It's more of a silly little idea that I just wanted to share.

Also said pin looking like this:

Yeah, so that's probably all what you guys get from me for this au.:')

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

So some advice for folks who are trying to deal with the photos and videos they've seen online from this situation, from someone who routinely has to look at photos and videos of domestic violence and its aftermath in my line of work:

Accept that terrible things happen in the world. That sounds weird, right? But I found that, at least for me, the explosive indignation that this could've happened at all and like, fighting back against the reality and how much I didn't want to believe that something like this could happen - that just caused me to take on secondhand trauma. You cannot change horrors that have already happened.

Let me repeat that: You cannot change horrors that have already happened.

None of us can go back in time and undo the traumatic event. It's done. It happened. I once had a client whose abuser ran over her legs with his truck trying to kill her. I saw her wounds up close and personal. I still remember the smell of the wounds and how there was still a faint but nauseating scent of rubber. Nothing I could do could turn back the hands of time to before that nightmarish event.

But here's the thing - you can decide what you are going to do about it moving forward.

Sometimes you're in a realistic position to help. Sometimes you're not. But asking yourself the question, hey what practical good can I do in this situation? How can I help here? Is a million times more productive and comforting than wallowing in rage. The key is that finding a useful way to help or even just asking the question restores a sense of agency to you in a moment when you feel powerless against the deep cruelties of this world. And it often also empowers the victim(s) knowing that there are good, motivated people who are there to support and advocate for them.

Some of this shit is going to haunt you no matter what you do. Cutting through the haze of rage to take stock of the reality on the ground and what you can do to improve it is easier said than done. But if you try, it will help you and the people directly affected.

Accept that we currently live in a world of horrors, and then resolve to do what you can about it. And when you've done what you can? Accept that the rest is out of your hands now and that now the rest of it is in G-d's hands.

לֹא עָלֶיךָ הַמְּלָאכָה לִגְמֹר, וְלֹא אַתָּה בֶן חוֹרִין לִבָּטֵל מִמֶּנָּה.

Rabbi Tarfon used to say: It is not your duty to finish the work, but neither are you at liberty to neglect it.

[eldritch-nightmare]

most to least likely move on if their s/o dies.

a short little something to post while i work on some stuff in my inbox. except i only explain the bolded ones and the rest you get to come up with your own reasons i guess.

most likely: jason the toymaker, jeff the killer, candypop, kagekao.

50/50: nina the killer, x-virus, the bloody painter, the puppeteer, homicidal liu, jane the killer, laughing jack, hobo heart, the doll maker, nathan, eyeless jack, jay, jessica, brian.

least likely: zalgo, sully, slenderman, toby, clockwork, nurse ann, emra, laughing jill, alex, tim.

JASON'S whole thing is finding the one for him, so if his lover were to die then he would move on rather quickly, to be honest. he's killed many of his past lovers after he realized that they failed his requirements and whatnot. i suppose, if he thought his current significant other was the one for him, and they died an untimely death, then maybe he'd be less likely to move on. but he moves on from people rather quickly once he's done with them.

NINA really depends on how close she was to her significant other before their death. if things were fresh and new, then she'd probably move on with relative ease but if they've been together for years or they have such a strong bond with each other then i think it would take her a good long while to move on from their death to even think about pursuing any other relationships.

ZALGO wants to literally destroy mortals so the fact that he managed to fall in love with one? and then they died? yeah, no. he's never going to fall in love with another. that mortal was special, and now they're gone, and that just gives zalgo even more reason to create chaos and destruction. what's the point of the world living if his lover isn't there to live in it?

SULLY, unlike liu, is not accustomed to loss. he's never lost anyone close to him before, so he doesn't know what it's like to grieve and move on. so, i think, if he were to enter a relationship with someone, and his partner were to die then the likelihood of him moving on from them is damn near non-existent. i also think he'd be very hesitant to let anyone close after losing his significant other because he understands what it's like to lose someone now, and he's not sure if that's a pain he'd be willing to experience again so... it would just be safer to never let anyone close ever again.

TOBY has already lost so much, and he's already hesitant enough to let people close to him so if he enters a relationship with someone and they die? well, he'd probably break more than he already has. he's only one man, a mere mortal. he can only take so much pain and loss before it all becomes too much for him to handle. honestly, he'd probably be... grateful for slender's control over him because at least when he's in a mindless state of obey, he doesn't have to think about anything.

[georgemiser]

I Support the accused.

So, I recently saw this long, heartbroken "moving on" post from this user who believes the accusations against Danny Elfman and Neil Gaiman and how she was giving up their work to "support the victims" and how there's "other stuff", etc. Usual boring "Believe the victims" MeToo BS. (It's her loss of course if she wants to limit her viewing choices. Dumping Elfman certainly narrows the list.) Thankfully, I don't want to join her and I never will. People will undoubtedly call me vile, selfish and callous for refusing to let go of these men and their "tainted" works; For standing with them instead of their accusers; for choosing to believe in their innocence over their guilt. They'll say that I'm "coping" or "in denial."But then again, I'm not the one who's allowed sympathy and empathy to poison myself.

The truth is that Elfman and Gaiman, along with many, MANY others like them, are the true victims here. They're the ones with everything to lose, they're the ones who have to put up with lost work, defamation, the heartbroken howls of so-called "ex-fans" who buy into these inane, obviously fake MeToo Hollywood "Horror Stories", all after everything they've given those ingrates. Meanwhile, Their "victims", who haven't done jack for the world and never will, bask in undeserved love and admiration for their "courage" in ruining these men's lives. Luckily for those men, I feel nothing for those women, and I never will. I don't have to believe these men are innocent. They simply are so. The real evidence, I.E. everything outside of these women and their tear-soaked "testimonies", points to that conclusion. So, to Danny Elfman and Neil Gaiman and all the rest of Hollywood's "witches", consider me on your side for life, I'll never apologize, never reflect, and never be "better." Not for them. Never for them. My mind was made up nearly 8 years ago when this nonsense started and it hasn't changed an ounce since. I eagerly await the backlash to this post from your former ex-fans who foolishly decided to "move on" the moment the news broke about those women "coming forward." Thank God the "Court" of Public Opinion has no real power. Idiocy + Toxic Compassion kills justice.

[snek-eyes]

Ineffable Husbands eras

So I named the first section of history the Pre-Arrangement era, which of course led me thinking to how I would divide up the rest. This is of course just how I interpret the vibes, I'd love to hear thoughts!

Pre-Arrangement (4004 BC ~ 41 AD)

Getting to know each other—and themselves. They're both learning and growing in this brand new world, and they test each other out whenever the job brings them to the same place (There isn't a whole lot of place else yet to be). During this time they learn that they can not only trust each other, but the era ends with them realizing they actively enjoy each other's company. They have much more in common with each other than their respective sides.

4004 BC - Eden (Meeting. Surprising each other)

3004 BC - Mesopotamia (The flood. Aziraphale disappoints Crowley by sticking to Heaven's line.)

2500 BC - Uz (Job. Crowley tries to get Aziraphale to disappoint him again, but instead the angel puts his faith in the demon. Their Own Side is formed way back here.)

33 AD - Golgotha (Crucifixion. Crowley tests Aziraphale again, the angel passes and Crowley opens up about his name change)

41 AD - Rome (Oysters. Aziraphale is the one to reach out this time, and doesn't shy away from being unangelic.)

Formation of the Arrangement (537 ~ 1601)

Let's do this on purpose (for Strictly Business reasons). What defines this era is that Aziraphale is nervous and Crowley thinks they've got it made. Even well after they've agreed to working together, they're still doing the song and dance of Aziraphale pretending he doesn't know what's happening and Crowley seducing him into it.

537 AD - Kingdom of Wessex (Knights. Still running into each other by accident, Crowley proposes a more radical version of what will be the final agreement)

[1020ish - when the book says they reached the Arrangement]

1601 - Globe Theatre, London (Hamlet. They've switched jobs "dozens of times" by now, presumably that's at least 24 occasions but less than 100.)

And now I've gone and done math about it, so...

if the start date is also accurate for the show... by the 1600s they're meeting up at least once every 25 years on average.

(and that's for the minimum of 24 Arrangements)

In my unlikely scenario of them having 99 Arrangements already, that would bring it down to 5 years

Even if for some unlikely reason Aziraphale changed his mind and went back right away in 537, 24 Arrangements would have them meeting up on average every 44 years

Of course, these are exact averages and they aren't robots. It's likely meetings started out less often and increased in frequency as they got more comfortable. Maybe it was every 100 years in the beginning, who knows exactly! (only one man and he's not talking) Do with this information what you will. Let's move on.

Definitely Not Friends (1793 ~ 1862)

Let's do this on purpose (for personal reasons). No longer are they only arranging to meet up in-between going to each others' jobs so the other can stay home, this is going out of their way to spend time together.

During this era, Aziraphale has finally started to relax, while Crowley is doing the opposite. Turns out (in classic Crowley form) this might not have been as good an idea as he originally thought, but he's in way too deep now. The era ends when Crowley shatters Aziraphale's growing comfort.

1793 - Paris (Revolution. It's plausible that Aziraphale may have arranged this on purpose, to see Crowley without admitting that's what he wants. For his part, Crowley goes out of his way to stage a rescue, even though he's now able to admit it could get him in real trouble.)

1800 - London (Bookshop opening [from the script book, semi-canonical]. In Paris, Crowley knew Aziraphale was planning to open a bookshop, now he knows the exact date and is swinging by to bring him presents. Also sneakily puts a stop to the other angels recalling Aziraphale from Earth; just as he knew Aziraphale wouldn't like hell, he knows he wouldn't like going back to heaven either.)

1827 - Edinburgh (Grave robbing. Crowley invites Aziraphale to hang out in a graveyard in the middle of the night in what is totally not an old-timey date. The only pretense is a personal excuse ['hey angel come see this statue of your boss lmao']. This is just straight up spending time together.) Interestingly, this is also the last time we will really see them traveling together, everything from here on out is around London.

1862 - St. James Park (Holy water requested, denied. This meeting is oddly formal for all that came before it, even back in S1 when it followed right after the Paris rescue. Crowley is seriously rattled. The Holy Water request is a declaration that he would take on hell for them. Aziraphale doesn't understand and isn't ready to hear it even if he did.)

We Both Know that We Both Know (1941 ~ 1967)

We are dangerously aware of what's going on here. It is made very clear that they will both go to insane lengths to ensure the other will stay in their life. They still can't say it out loud, but the remaining pretense is tissue paper thin.

1941 - London (The Blitz. It's been 80 years since they've seen each other, and yet Crowley saunters back in right at the moment Aziraphale needs him. They spend a giddy night being ridiculous together, only to get the wake up call of their closest call yet from head office. It's the night of Aziraphale's two realizations: That they're in love, and the full weight of the danger that puts them in.)

1967 - Soho (Holy Water given. Aziraphale isn't happy about it, but he makes the decision to trust Crowley in hopes being on the same team will keep him safer than he'd be otherwise. It's the complete opposite of the decision he made to walk away 105 years ago. He also gives them both a slim glimpse of hope for the future.)

A Test of Faith (2008 ~ 2019)

Whose side are we on? 6000 years of becoming more and more of Earth while pretending that's not what they're doing, and it's finally time to either admit that or don't. Still not quite ready to admit that choosing "the world" also means each other, but they do choose their own side.

2008 - Baby antichrist delivered (Present day dates aren't outright stated, this is technically "11 years ago")

2019 - Apocawasn't (date from when S1 aired)

What Are We [Limbo] (2020 ~ 2023)

Finally free (what are we waiting for?). Stuck in a holding pattern, neither of them know how to move forward. All the coping mechanisms they've developed and sunk into over millennia are breaking down. Crowley is more stressed than ever waiting for the other shoe to fall, Aziraphale doesn't know who he is without the structure of heaven. Something needs to shake things up, and when it comes it shakes them apart.

2020 - Lockdown short (Semi-canonical. The excuse to hole up together is right there and they both clearly want it! But neither of them knows how to take that step.)

2023 - Gabriel disappears from heaven and chaos ensues (season 2 airdate)

As for what's next, I'm guessing something like:

Divorce Era (Figuring out who they are and what matters to them without the other for the first time. Throwback to the pre-Arrangement)

What Are We [Redux] (allied again, but the plot is giving us a convenient excuse to not address things between us. This is 'We Both Know' and 'Limbo' combined)

Ineffable Husbands time (when they've finally finally gotten it all out on the table. They are going to be insufferable.)

And those are my thoughts! Let me know what you think :)

[nellie-elizabeth]

Doctor Who: Dot and Bubble (14x05)

Wow, holy shit. This season keeps getting better and better.

Cons:

I really only have one tiny complaint, and it's that I wish the walking thing had been done a little differently? I think, allegorically, the idea that they all need arrows and instruction to be able to walk around when they have their bubbles up all the time is a good idea. Like, often when I'm driving somewhere I should know how to get to on my own, I still pull up the map on my phone just as an extra sense of security, or because I never bothered to fully memorize which side street to turn down or what have you. So it makes sense on that level. But the part where Lindy is literally running into poles and desks and stuff read as a little too ridiculous. I wish it had been a little less literal? Like what if instead of running into stuff, it's that Lindy is overwhelmed by the variety of things she's looking at around her, constantly distracted and overwhelmed, and she needs to mutter instructions to herself in order to force herself to walk, and she still takes the sharp 90 degree turns everywhere because that's what she's used to. And then when faced with a monster right in front of her that's blocking her most natural path towards the exit, she freezes up and can't figure out how to make herself find an alternative route right away. That would work better than the scene where she's literally just running into a pole multiple times.

Pros:

But honestly! What a fucking stunning episode, with one of the best... I guess you could say, "twists", of any Doctor Who episode I can ever remember seeing. I'm not talking about the computers turning on the citizens of Finetime, I'm not talking about the home-world being taken over and not coming back to save everyone. I'm talking about Lindy and the others rejecting the Doctor's help at the end of the episode. That scene is an all time classic, instantly, I just know it.

But first let's back up and talk about Lindy as a character. I think this episode hinges on the way she toes the line the whole episode - you don't understand at first if Lindy is an example of her society, the same as everyone else, or if there's something special about her. Is she an exception to some rule, or just a coincidental POV character? She's terrified, but she tries her best - I was moved by the moments when she realizes how truly helpless she is without the bubble and cries out "I'm so stupid!" You feel a certain sense of connection with her utter helplessness and fear. She's so coddled, so trapped in her bubble, literally, that everything new and scary seems hostile to her.

So... she can be forgiven for not instantly trusting the Doctor and Ruby, right? Right? I mean, they're strangers who came out of nowhere, and she has no idea what's going on. She's just a girl in a socially dystopian scenario where everyone's so addicted to their phones that they've shut out the rest of the world, and she needs help!

That's layer one to what's going on here.

But underneath that layer, you start to notice other things pretty early on. We learn about Finetime, we learn that it's a place that only the most elite people send their children to work. We learn eventually that the very computer program running their lives has started to get sick of them and has decided to exterminate them due to the... inanity, the intolerable repetitiveness, of their pointless, vapid lives. This isn't a situation where everyone in the world is like these people. This is a situation where the wealthiest and most privileged have literally cut themselves off from experiencing anything outside of what they know, and it's a look at the reinforcement of certain beliefs that exist in that society, due to the extreme level of shelter these people are subjected to.

The way that privilege operates within the episode is also subtly and effectively condemnatory to the viewer, or at least to this viewer, in a way that really worked. I did note the whiteness of this world, specifically the white, blonde, stereotypically attractive, thin, able-bodied woman serving as our protagonist. She seemed to represent a type of person; she stands in for a type of ignorance and privilege that we recognize in our own world. But when that moment came at the end where Lindy and the other survivors reject the Doctor's help? You bet your ass I was scouring the background of the scene, searching for any people of color in the shot. I didn't find any. And yeah, it hadn't occurred to me that all the faces we see in Lindy's friend group, all the people we see in this whole world, were white - a white majority is burned into our brains as a default, it's what I, a white person myself, am accustomed to seeing on the screen.

I think the reason the scene at the end is going to stick in people's heads is because it's not a metaphorical bigotry the Doctor suffers in this moment. It's actual, it's in your face. These people aren't "symbolically" bigoted of the Doctor's otherness, they're literally just racists. They're fucking racists. And Lindy never was special - she only lasted as long as she did because her last name starts with a letter later on in the alphabet. She is utterly typical of the people in this world, and this world is a world of white supremacy, and that's all there is to it.

Ncuti Gatwa's performance of outrage and grief was absolutely stunning. I saw one reviewer talk about how it makes sense that the Doctor being Black hasn't been addressed on screen yet, as it would be a pretty wretched look for the show to cast this actor in the role and then have the character immediately suffer racism because of it. But at the same time, it should be addressed in some way, and here's the way in which it finally is. I was also moved by Ruby's silent grief. For the treatment of her friend, but also for the way in which something so evil and stupid and pointless is going to result in all these young people probably dying in the forest, all because they couldn't look past their ingrained prejudices to accept help from someone they deemed their inferior. Gatwa screams and laughs and it's clear that he's feeling so many things, such helplessness and bewilderment and frustration. I don't know how much the show will go into this, but it would be so interesting to have the character reflect on this moment where he realizes something completely arbitrary and out of his control actually has an impact on his ability to do his job well. The character has been a white man a bunch of times in a row, then a white woman, and now a Black man. The mind fuck of having direct evidence of how the world's prejudices work in all ways big and small... what an interesting avenue for the show to explore.

I should also bring up Ricky September, legend, gone too soon from this world, shoulda joined the Doctor and Ruby in the TARDIS and had a threesome with them, tbh. I love what this character represents. At first, he seems like the ultimate symbol of this vapid, image-obsessed, bubbled society, as he's shown mugging the camera singing twinkly little songs and being a sex object for his followers. But then we meet him, and he's a genuinely nice, thoughtful person who does his best to help Lindy. We learn that it's possible to live a life using the bubble for work and then logging off, learning more about the world through history instead of constantly partying and getting caught up in the moment. This story isn't really one about "kids these days on their phones with the TikToks and the blah blah blah." It's more about being entrenched in a loop, stuck with your head in the sand. And Ricky is someone who proves that there is a way to operate outside of that system. He's not necessarily a paragon of anti-racist virtue, but he's a dude who at least has taken some steps to push back against that automatic entrenchment, proving that such a thing can be done, even given the social pressures to sink into the reinforced bubble of prejudice. I also loved Ruby and the Doctor both having a crush on him.

And I love how his character winds up, a turning point where we're starting to realize that Lindy might not actually be redeemable as someone we need to be rooting for. Her sacrifice of her celebrity crush to the killer Dot was brutal, and it feels like such a good appetizer for the final scene of the episode, as the twist comes fully into play.

I think that without that final reveal at the end, this would still have been a good episode of Doctor Who. But with it, it's an all-time great episode. God, I already feel like I want to do a re-watch just to catch more of the build to that moment. I hope that next week we get more time with the Doctor, as we've had two Doctor-lite episodes in a row. But seriously - this season just keeps getting better and better as it goes.

10/10