#lets use some critical thinking loves... im so sorry

[transxfiles]

the funny thing about having read the spider punk comics is going through the atsv tag noticing people saying things about hobie and then being like "it's canon from the comics!!" to justify things they literally just made up. girl i did the reading and i don't know how to tell you this but nothing you just said is true... you fell for the edited panels from twitter didn't you.

[lenaswritingandstuff]

Dating the Slytherin boys (+ Harry) ▪ HEADCANONS

Requested: No

Characters: Mattheo Riddle, Tom Riddle, Theodore Nott, Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, Regulus Black, Harry Potter (+ y/n)

Warnings: NSFW mentions, English is not my first language

A/N: I'm not sure I like this but here we go. However I have to say I like Regulus' one so I might turn his version into a one shot one day (when uni won't be killing me slowly). This will include also the pre-dating/flirting stage as well. SORRY FOR THE TYPOS. Comments and feedback are always appreciated. Enjoy! ^^

Tag list: @helendeath @im-jesus

Tag list for this story: @anawritez-posts @pumpkinchee @alwayslatetothefandoms

Mattheo Riddle:

His feelings for you probably confused him at first 

If he falls first, he either won’t let you know or will do everything to get your attention (‘Hey, y/n, come sit here, the seat is free!”, “y/n, do you mind helping me with the homework for Snape? I can’t bloody do it”, “How about we go to Hogsmeade, just you and me?”, “you look beautiful, y/n”)

Your love for him always calms him when he gets anxious or when he’s upset, especially after his father comes back

Will tell you things he never told anyone

Would rather spend time with you than with his friends

Is terrified something will happen to you because of his father 

VERY jealous, but trusts you

Despite easily getting angry, he can’t get mad at you. Even during arguments 

LOVES sleeping in your arms or when you just hold him

He's crazy about your body

Loves showering with you, and we both know how it often ends

HOT, passionate sex

Will randomly eat you out without expecting anything in return (doesn't mind if you return the favor, though)

100% calls you "baby" or "love" all the time

Doesn’t care about what anyone thinks of him as long as you love him

Your love makes him feel lighter and stronger

You're his whole world

Feels bad when he hears someone criticize you for dating him 

Always makes sure you don’t overwork yourself, and makes sure you get enough sleep, water and food, and comforts you when you're anxious

Holds your hands when he's anxious or stressed

Will listen to anything you have to say 

Crazy about your perfume

Theodore Nott:

Struggles to express his love or feelings in general, at least in the beginning 

Has never done serious relationships before, and it may cause some trouble in your relationship, as you end up believing he doesn’t care about you

It causes many fights, and the last one will be the first time he says ‘I love you’

Always goes to you for comfort 

Loves sleeping with you in his arms, or cuddling, and with time he can’t sleep without you

Loves watching you sleep 

Loves having you on his lap

Always gets you great gifts (even randomly)

“Well, it thought it was pretty, and…it reminded me of you.”

Will fight any guy who is rude to you or acts like a creep 

Very jealous (trusts you, doesn’t trust others)

Doesn’t mind PDA at all, will gladly hold your hand or kiss you in public

Always has a hand on your waist or his arm around your shoulders 

Very supportive in everything you do, even when he doesn’t understand it/isn’t really interested in it

Isn’t very good with comforting people (mostly because he's not used to it), but will hold you and listen to you as long as you need, can even give you advice/reassurance 

Every compliment/'I love you' you say melts his heart and means much more to him than he shows, same goes for anything you do for him

Loves doing fun things, even if it’s just throwing snowballs at each other during winter (which ends in loving kisses, just savouring the joy of being together)  

Love getting in a pool with you and playing "childish" games during summer

Any form of intimacy means A LOT to him 

He's used to hooks up and "fucking" but it takes him a bit of time to have sex with you (despite being crazy about you and your body) because you mean everything to him and with you it's really making love instead of just "fucking"

The first time is loving and slow yet passionnate (eye contact at all times, hands holding, desperate kisses from him), and it gets a bit rougher and passionate the next times (but aftercare, which he isn't used to, is always on point and keeps getting better)

Is secretly very insecure, and is terrified you will leave him (especially for another “better” guy) 

Craves your touch and your love but won’t admit it

His boggart is probably you being dead alongside his mother

Will tell you sweets things in Italian

Very clingy in private - and also in public with time

With you he learns to be happier and discovers a happier side of himself he didn't know he had

Loves you much more than he actually shows at first 

Will often say you're all he has (and means it)

But with time, you have no reason to doubt his love and he’s the perfect boyfriend

Blaise Zabini:

Probably will court you like the gentleman he is

He doesn’t trust people easily and might be a little distant (while always polite and kind) in the early stages of your relationship 

But with time he becomes very warm and smiles a lot

Always kisses the top of your hand or your forehead 

Doesn’t do much PDA except for holding hands and kisses on your forehead

However in private he’ll 100% cuddle you and hold you

Dates in parks or restaurants  

Get you flowers at least once a month

Will always defend you against others 

One of his love languages is acts of service

Lorenzo Berkshire:

You either were friends before dating or he fell in love with you at first sight, there is no in between

Takes you on fun dates (arcade, funfair, theme parks) 

Can be shy at the beginning, which will make it a bit hard for him to talk about how he feels about you

Movie nights where you two eats lots of snacks and sweets while cuddling 

Always smiles when you enter a room

So supportive 

Loves when you're on his lap

He has no problem with PDA

Quickly willing to meet your family if you agree

He’s a great listener and mostly gives good advices 

Loves taking naps with you 

Always makes you sure you get enough sleep, water and food

Won’t let you get yourself into dangerous situations

Loves to go anywhere with you, no matter the activity and even if he just follows you around 

Many pet names

If you're Muggleborn or grew up among Muggles, he will totally ask you questions about the muggle world

Passionnate sex, will get rough if he hasn't seen you in a long time or if it's angry sex after he got jealous

His aftercare is the best, and he's always thankful you trust him enough to have that form of intimacy with him

Draco Malfoy:

Won’t flirt at first with you but keeps wanting your attention

Tries to seduce you with expensive gifts, and is a bit taken aback when you say it doesn’t work

Continues to get you gifts, but will make sure they match your interests/tastes, and keeps expensive gifts for your birthdays and Christmas (even though he’d like to get them all year for you) 

At first he doesn't show any weakness in your presence

With you he’ll learn patience and to focus of more positive things, and also to stand up to his father

Takes you on dates every chance he gets

Will ditch his friends to spend time with you

Probably makes Crabbe and Goyle carry your bags or do things for you

So proud to be dating you, it might even make him more arrogant

Gets grumpy when jealous but after a kiss on the cheek he’s back to his normal self 

Will invite you to his home and write you nearly every day during holidays

Hates it when Harry or any Gryffindor boy tries to talk to you

Surprisingly has no problem with PDA

Loves when you come to see him play during Quidditch matches

Tom Riddle:

Oh boy

It started with him admiring/watching you from afar, for a reason he can’t understand

SUPER confused by what he feels for you and why

Will probably try to get closer to you through homework or through books if he sees you read one

Will know everything about you, and will secretly follow you, saving you if you’re in danger with you never knowing who saved you

Crazy about your perfume, so much so that it makes him steal one of your clothes just to be able to smell it anytime he wants

After a while, he’ll spend most of his time with you without ever admitting he likes it

Will probably let you know his feelings for you after he cast a spell on a guy for being a creep with you 

Won’t let another man touch you

Will ask Mattheo for advice to be better or to make you fall in love with him

Will do your homework without hesitation, even if he pretends that he hates it, and will leave explanations so you understand his answers/his work

No PDA except for holding hands or your hand under his arm, but will make sure to stay close to you at all times 

Is a surprisingly good listener 

VERY jealous, but surprisingly isn’t mad or suspicious at you

“Did you enjoy having his attention? Do you wish for me to show you how my attention is better?” 

He doesn't stress over homework or stuff like that, so he finds it ridiculous when you do (learns with time to be more understanding)

Will let flowers in your room with a note on it

Pretends to not care about the gifts you get him for his birthday or Christmas but it actually means so much to him as no one ever got him any gifts before 

Nothing the others say about him gets to him, but he gets angry when he hears someone say that you deserve better than him

As book!Tom who grew up in an orphanage: he's secretly insecure about his background and the fact that he’s poor, and thinks you deserve better 

As Voldemort: Might be torn between continuing his goals for power or spending a simple life with you; is aware you’ll leave him if he gets on a darker path 

As Voldemort’s son: would do everything to protect you from his father, and if he’s forced to get the Dark Mark, he will makes sure you don’t know 

Possessive kisses 

Would hurt anyone who does you wrong

Borrows money from Draco to take you on dates or to get you gifts, as he feels like you deserve the nicest things, even though you keep telling him his mere presence is enough

May feel a little bit guilty that he can’t properly show you his love like “normal” boyfriends do 

Won’t admit it but considers you the only good thing in his life, and if he ever lost you he’d get on a dark path

Won’t cuddle at first, but if you wake up first you’ll find him sleeping close to you, with at least one of his hands touching you

Always notices when you don’t eat, sleep or drink enough

You’re the first (and only) person he will feel romantic love for

He has a bit of sexual experience before, but with you it's completely different - once you guys have sex for the first time, he becomes obsessed with your body and how it makes him feel

Loves fingering you

"You like it, dove?"

Even if you guys don’t work out, he won’t ever be with somebody else 

Would ask your parents for you hand in marriage, but honestly it's just out of politeness, the only answer that matters to him is yours

Regulus Black:

Like Blaise, he was raised the old fashioned way

Acts coldly towards everyone except you, his tone and eyes gets warmer and kinder when talking/looking at you, and you’re the only person he’ll smile at

You were his best (and only) friend and he has been in love with you for years

He hides his feelings very well, but one day you start dating someone else (thinking Regulus doesn’t share your feelings) but he can’t bear it and confesses his feelings

Always defends you

He’ll take you on restaurants or picnics dates, always bringing flowers

Mostly fine with PDA (holding hands, hands on your waist)

Thinks he’s very lucky to have you

Probably already starts thinking of marrying you during your last year at Hogwarts 

A bit jealous, but can’t stand it when Sirius tries to talk to you

Will gladly do your homework with/for you

Loves it when you sleep in each other’s arms, loves feeling you close

Loves it when you call him “Reggie” (only you is allowed to)

Will literally do everything you ask him to

You’re everything to him

Can’t stay away from you for long

Will get worried if you’re five minutes late

Always calls you “sweetheart” or “love”/”my love” 

Slow, romantic sex most of the time but sometimes he needs to be rougher

Thanks to you he’ll feel lighter and he will become kinder

You’ll even make him change his views on blood purity and stand up to his parents, and with time he gets closer to Sirius thanks to that (and you) 

If that doesn’t change and he still joins Voldemort, he’ll leave you a letter before going to the cavern, saying how much he loves you and how much you mean to him

Harry Potter:

Don’t expect any pet names from him, but he might create a nickname with your name (like he calls Ginny ‘Gin’ in the Cursed Child) 

His love languages are fierce protectiveness, loyalty and a patience he didn’t knew he had

Has no problem with PDA because he doesn’t care about what other people think  

Loves cuddles

Rarely gets mad at you, and feels guilty when he does

Mostly gets mad at you when you hurt yourself (for example during Quidditch) but it's also because he was scared for you

Hot kisses in private

Will be jealous if he sees you with another guy 

He’s passionate in a lot of things he does, and it includes you and everything you do

Will fiercely defend you again anyone, can even throw hands

Gets FURIOUS when Umbridge hurts you during detention, and will cuddle you for hours and do everything he can to make the pain disappear

Knows people are mean to you during fifth year because you're dating him and he hates it

During that year the only peace he feels is when he's holding you or when you sleep in his arms (it's also the only time he doesn't get nightmares)

Very supportive 

Loves getting you gifts 

You make him feel SO happy, he’ll just keep smiling for no reason 

Gets more and more clingy with time

Always write to you during the holidays (you always invite him to come to your house)

I'm not sure about sex while you guys are at Hogwarts but he 100% feels lust for you, there will definitely be hot making sessions when you guys are alone in a dark corner of the castle and it often ends up with you against the wall with your legs around his waist while he kisses your neck and caresses your legs

However sometimes he just can't stop himself and will eat you out (even maybe finger you at the same time), and will be proud when you come

Any act of service you do for him means a lot

You're always worried about him when he's at the Dursleys but he reassures you that he's fine

Comes to you in the middle of the night if he has a nightmare and generally comes to you for comfort or to rant 

Needs you more than ever after Voldemort comes back and after Sirius’ death 

Misses you like crazy during his quest for Horcruxes, and he can’t bear the thought of something happening to you 

Might struggle to show it, but he knows and is thankful of how patient and comprehensive you are with him, and that makes him want to be the best boyfriend he can be

Terrified Voldemort might hurt/kill you

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[harrysfolklore]

how is piastri sis feeling with this being carlos last ferrari race? cuz i’m feeling emotional

AHHH CARLOS' LAST RACE WITH FERRARI 🥺 im so emo but also really really proud of him. and so is our girl piastri sis. enjoy!

READ LITTLE BITCH HERE

The motorhome is quiet, the usual post-race bustle muted by the weight of finality. Carlos sits on the couch, still in his race suit with the Ferrari logo that's no longer his, staring at nothing. You watch him from the doorway, heart aching at the emotion written across his face.

"I can hear you thinking from here," he says softly, not looking up.

You move to sit beside him, taking his hand. His fingers automatically intertwine with yours, a habit now.

"I keep thinking about what I said," your voice is barely a whisper. "At the beginning of the season. About hoping you wouldn't find a seat."

"Mi amor-"

"No, let me finish," you squeeze his hand. "Seeing you now, knowing how much the Ferrari exit hurt... I was so cruel. So insensitive. Just because I was angry about Oscar-"

"You apologized months ago," he turns to face you, eyes soft. "Went we grabbed sushi and said you were sorry for being harsh."

"I know, but..." you touch his face. "Watching you take that last lap today, seeing how emotional you were on team radio... it just hit me again how horrible those words were. How much you were already hurting when I said them."

He catches your hand, kissing your palm. "I wasn't exactly kind to you either back then. Or to Oscar on track."

"Still-"

"No, listen," he pulls you closer. "That comment? It led to our first real conversation. When you apologized, I knew something had shifted. And now look at us."

You lean into him, remembering how that sushi outing led to him kissing you after, and changing everything forever.

"Besides," he continues with a small smile, "I did find a seat. Williams is excited to have me. And more importantly..." he kisses your forehead, "I found you."

"Smooth little bitch," you murmur against his chest.

"It's true though," his voice gets serious. "Leaving Ferrari hurts, yes. But this year? Getting to know you, falling in love with you? It's worth every painful moment."

"Even when I was being a protective sister?"

"Even then," he chuckles. "Though I prefer when you're being a protective girlfriend now."

You look up at him. "I'm so proud of how you handled everything this year. The Ferrari news, the criticism, the uncertainty... you stayed professional through it all."

"Had someone pretty amazing supporting me," he pulls you into his lap. "Someone who went from hating me to loving me."

"I never really hated you," you protest. "I just... strongly disliked your on-track decisions."

He laughs properly then, the sound chasing away some of the melancholy. "And now?"

"Now I strongly like everything about you," you kiss him softly. "Even your questionable racing moves."

"Hey!"

"Kidding," you stroke his cheek. "I'm so excited to see you at Williams. They're lucky to have you."

He holds you tighter. "Will you wear their merch next year?"

"Of course. But I'm keeping one Ferrari shirt."

"Oh?"

"Your race-worn one from today," you smile. "For memories."

His eyes get emotional again. "I love you. So much."

"I love you too," you rest your forehead against his. "Ferrari chapter is closing, but we're just getting started."

He kisses you deeply, pouring everything he can't say into it.

Later, Oscar sends a photo to the group chat Of Carlos's last Ferrari lap with you watching from the garage, wearing his team shirt.

"From enemies to this. Still wild."

Carlos saves it immediately because sometimes the best endings lead to better beginnings. And sometimes "I hope you don't find a seat" turns into "I hope you never leave my side"

[loomiseater]

UHM... more subby ethan!! pwetty please 👉👈

What're you doing?

warnings: smut ofc!, subby eth, and public masturbation.

Criticism is appreciated! I would love to know how I can improve on my writing.

Ethan Landry x fem!reader

A/N: your wish is my command! ik it's short, i'm sorry, but i really hope you like it!

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Written: December 26th, 2024- December 27th, 2024

Published: December 27th, 2024

Summary: you tease Ethan under the blanket.

wc: 762

Ethan and I were currently at Sam’s, Tara’s, Mindy’s, and Quinn’s shared apartment. It was movie night so we were all in the living room watching “FNAF”. Chad insisted we watch it. 

Me and Ethan shared a seat together, sitting on the recliner while everyone else was either on the L shaped couch, or on the floor with blankets. The room was filled with the loudness of the movie coming from the t.v. Everyone was focused on what was playing in front of them, so I took this as my chance. I slipped my hand under our shared blanket and started softly rubbing his inner thigh, Ethan didn’t think much of it so he just smiled softly. 

His features looked so pretty, the light from the t.v. making me able to see his eyes and his lips. His lips were always so soft and plump, I just wanna kiss him so bad right now in front of everyone. Ethan was still focused on the moving, I moved my hand to his crotch and that’s when he looked at me. His eyes widened with fear. 

“What’re you doing?!” He whispered. I looked at him and smiled innocently before I answered his question. “What’re you talking about?” Ethan rolled his eyes at my statement. He hated when I played dumb, especially to something so obvious. He brushed it off and put his focus back on the movie. 

I slipped my hand under his sweats and rubbed him through his boxers as I felt his abs flex. He covered up his moan with a cough as everyone looked over at him. “You okay?” Chad asked while placing some popcorn in his mouth. “I’m fine.” Ethan hurriedly said. I smirked at him while he gave me a warning look. I didn’t care though, I wanted to tease him just like he does to me all the time. 

I now slipped my hand under his boxers, I slowly stroked him up and down. His whole body jolted as played his moan off as a cough again. “Dude, seriously, are you okay?” Chad asked again, genuinely concerned for his friend. Tara then looked at me like she was trying to figure something out but she eventually went back to focusing on the movie. 

I started rubbing my thumb on his tip as I felt precum coming out. Ethan now placed his head in his hands so no one can see his face twist in pleasure. “How do you feel?” I whispered in his ear teasingly. He raised his head back up and looked at me with pleading eyes. I raised my eyebrow at him waiting for him to say something. “Please stop.” He whined. “Why should I stop?” I whispered as I squeezed his cock. Ethan’s body jolted again. 

“Because we’re in front of people!” He said. He looked at me like I was crazy but he teases me all the time in public. I ignored him and kept stroking him, his precum was flowing down his cock and onto my hand. He threw his head back on the couch still trying to hold in moans. This is most the hardest thing he’s ever been through. 

I slowed my pace as he brought his head back down. “When we get home..im gonna make you cum and beg all night.” My words filled with lust. I felt his dick twitch and that’s when I knew he was close. I quietly chuckled at him, poor boy was going through it right now. 

“When we get home I’ll let you cum in me all night.” I seductively said. That’s when Ethan lost it, he came all over my hand. “Shit!” He loudly said. “Dude, what the fuck.” Mindy said with her hands raised. The attention was on the both of us now. 

“I-I’m sorry! My hand started cramping.” Ethan stuttered. Tara just looked at me and smirk. 

An hour later movie night was over, everyone was saying their goodbyes and good nights. Ethan was in the kitchen talking to Chad as Tara walked over to me. “Seriously? Jerking off your boyfriend in front of everyone?” She laughed. I started laughing with her before I spoke up. 

“How the hell did you know?!” I asked with shock written all over my face. “Girl! I saw your hand moving under the blanket, and the way he was breathing? It was so obvious! I don’t know how nobody else noticed.” She explained. 

“I’m sorry.” I giggled as she just shook her head at me. 

“You freaky girl!” Tara teased as we both started laughing really hard.

[bugboioli23]

Swerve x Human!Reader

Disclaimer: I haven't written fic for a few years so my skills are gonna be a bit shit to be honest, any criticism is welcome and id love to hear what you guys think 💚

THIS IS 18+ - size difference, valveplug, oral sex, fingerfucking, doggy style, riding - 2911 words - AFAB reader but no pronouns are used

You and Swerve had been friends since you stepped foot on the Lost Light. Something about his chatterbox personality and sitcom-like humor had you beaming whenever you were around him. The best nights were spent perched on the edge of the bar counter, rambling for hours on end with Swerve. Tonight was one of those nights. It was after the doors had closed, the bar empty and silent aside from the laughter ricocheting from the both of you. 

“Really?!” You yelped, eyes wide in surprise as you stared at the grinning minibot.

“I'm telling you! You wouldn't believe the amount of mechs who come by here asking for you!” Swerve replied with a chuckle, shaking his helm in shared disbelief. “Not only that but they actually think they could frag you! I'm probably one of the few bots on here who could frag you full sized.” Swerve paused, face freezing for a second as he quickly backtracked on his statement. “I mean- not that we would- NOT THAT I WOULDN'T WANT TO- I'm sure you’d make a lovely frag- NOT LIKE THAT- I JUST MEANT- im sorry- ” Swerve seemed to shrink in on himself as he continued to mumble to himself anxiously.

Your face burned red at the idea. The thought of a bot being stuffed between your folds, trembling at the foreign sensation of the wet flesh of your cunt. You wondered about the anatomy that laid hidden under the panels of your metallic friends. How similar are you compared to them? Just how compatible are your species? You already had gotten an enlightening talk from Brainstorm about Cybertronian anatomy after you explained human anatomy to him. (For his holoforms of course. No other reason.) You knew what you could take, but the fresh reality that this could happen left blood rushing south. 

“Uhm…  ____? You good? I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable or anything. I should’ve kept my mouth shut, I’m sorry.” Swerve looked at you apologetically. His light pout and the puppy eyes you could barely see behind his visor brought forth images that made warmth surge through your body once more. How would Swerve act if you asked him to fuck you? He seemed like the type of Cybertronian who wouldn’t mind a little experimenting with humans. He seemed like the type to whimper; the type to beg. 

Heat flushed through your face as reality caught back up to you. You flashed him a bright smile and waved your hand dismissively.

“Don’t worry about me, I’m alright. Just thinking.” You glanced at Swerve, who looked unconvinced. “Hey, weren’t you and Blurr going to open a bar before you came here?” You asked out of nowhere, hoping to turn his attention onto something else. It seemed to work because he was already telling you about how Blurr was secretly his best friend. While the bartender was distracted, you let your thoughts turn back to the ideas at hand. You found Swerve to be adorable, the way he seemed to always work with a smile despite people talking poorly about him. His fascination with your species’ tv and music and how he would light up when you offered another film for movie nights. After tonight’s conversation, you decided it’s now or never to shoot your shot with him.

“Swerve?” You looked him up and down with a smile, interjecting his speech on Blurr’s latest record break. “Do you think fragging a human would be possible?” You spoke sweetly, letting your voice fall an octave to emphasize your intentions. 

“Uhm, wouldn't Ratchet be better at answering that than I would?” Swerve thought he was hearing things. In his mind there was no possible way that you just asked what you had asked. His head must've made that up. It had to be some kind of self inflicted auditory hallucination. The way you smiled softly and rested a hand on his arm before leaning closer must also be a trick of the optics.

“Swerve, darling. I asked you for a reason.” You replied coyly, glancing up at him with an endearing grin. He felt his intake hitch and a sliver of charge run down his frame. 

“Oh.” He choked out, face tinted with the rush of energon. His cooling fans kicked on with just the mere suggestion of what tonight could entail. “I- I suppose we could- figure it out…” He grinned shyly.

“That’s a good mech.” You purred, wide grin never faltering as you hopped down from the counter. You sauntered out of the bar with a new sense of confidence, only pausing to gesture to him to follow before the doors closed behind you. Swerve had to take a minute to collect his thoughts before practically sprinting after you.

Your habsuite was uniquely modified for your species. Instead of a hard metal berth, you had a cushy soft bed adorned with a mass of plushies, pillows and blankets. Soft lighting glowed from lower points in the room instead of one harsh light from above. It had your special charm to it, and Swerve wanted to spend every moment he could in there with you. 

“So,” You started plopping yourself down on the edge of your bed, patting the spot next to you, “I’m going to skip all the pleasantries here, I want you to fuck me.”

Swerve let out a whine, feeling a surge of arousal flooding through his systems. His spike pressurized quickly, becoming heavy behind his panels with an embarrassingly loud thud. “Did you have to be so bold about it?” He hissed through clenched dentae as you gazed at him with desire. 

“I think it’s more fun to watch your reactions.” You hummed contentedly before climbing into his lap, “Can I kiss you? Would that be okay?” You spoke softly, but your eyes never left his face. Swerve nodded hastily, servos hovering above your body anxiously. His intake opened to start a flood of questions but you cut him off with a kiss, exploring the foreign texture of his pliable metallic face. The strange rubbery feeling of his glossa felt wonderfly new against the soft muscle of your tongue. You let out a soft noise of pleasure against his mouth before you were interrupted by a snap of panels retracting and an enticing pressure laying heavy on your thigh. 

“Oh- Slag, sorry I- you’re so- I wasn’t able to-,” Swerve began, but you pressed a finger to his lips as you looked down to study the new part of him. It was about 8 inches long, the red tip of it already leaking prefluids. It was mostly white, with a stripe of red along the underside decorated with biolights which pulsed needily. You trailed your hand lightly along the length, your fingers barely unable to touch around the girth of it. You looked back up at Swerve who was hiding behind his servos, face tinted pink with energon. 

“Listen… I know I’m not as big as other bots but please… don’t stop whatever you were planning to do.” Swerve mumbled shyly, peeking at you between his digits.

“Oh, hun. You don’t have to worry about anything. You’ve got more than enough for me to enjoy.” You smiled, sliding off his lap to kneel between his legs. “May I?” You asked, wanting to explore his anatomy further. 

He let out a shaky exvent with a nod and you ran your fingers along the grooves and panels of the Cybertronian anatomy. It wasn’t until you had gotten eye level with his spike that you had noticed his valve. It was dripping with transfluid and the hooded node was glowing a beautiful blue. You looked up at him from your position, eyes full of lust. 

“Change of plans. Lean back for me, I’ve gotta taste you.” You purred, firmly pushing against his midsection lightly as he rested his back against the wall of pillows. You gently pushed his thighs open and trailed two fingers against the slick folds of his valve, coating your fingers in the sticky substance. You studied your digits before popping them into your mouth. The pink fluid was metallic and sour, but addicting in a strange way. You wanted more. Spreading his folds with one hand, you delved into his valve. Swerve watched, entranced by the way you slid the flat of your tongue against him. The sensation made him let out soft groans, which encouraged you more. You took your other hand and gently circled his anterior node, ghosting the edges of it teasingly. Your tongue dove into his entrance and you felt the inner calipers twitch and throb with need. 

“Oh frag… you’re good a-at this. I’m- hnghh… I don’t have enough stamina for t-this!” Swerve whined as you moved the hand separating his folds and you backed away from his plush valve.

“Don’t worry, you are doing so good. Just lie back and let me take care of you, okay?” You cooed and went back to lapping at the transfluid that fell from his folds. One hand finally gave his anterior node pressure while your other hand went up to stroke at his spike lazily. The result of your combined actions had Swerve clawing at the sheets, his intake falling open as he gasped and mewled out so many words you couldn’t tell what he was saying until it was too late. 

Warm fluid gushed over your face as he overloaded while you were still tongue deep in his valve. His spike throbbed in your hand as you felt more transfluid land in your hair and shoulder. 

“FRAG- Ah- hah…!” Swerve whined as his frame trembled through the aftershocks. “Oh slag im so sorry!” His visor came back online just in time to witness your mouth and jaw covered in dripping pink fluids.

You licked your lips and wiped your face with your shirt before taking it off and tossing it aside. “Hey.. hey no worries. It’s okay. You’re okay.” You kissed his cheek, patting his thigh softly. “You did amazing. I’m so glad I could make you feel good.” 

Swerve let out another high whine, seeing your chest bare before him. He slowly raised his servos to graze the flesh around your nipples. You sighed softly and raised your hands to press his servos more firmly to your skin. Swerve was still panting from his previous overload but he leaned in to press his lips gently against your sternum. His servos wandered up to press and massage at your nipples, circling them like you did to his node earlier. Your back arched, pushing your chest further into his servos as your mouth fell open softly. Swerve looked up at you, visor glowing with excitement and awe. “You’re stunning. I mean- frag, look at you, coated with my overload. Mine…” He breathed out, eyes trailing down your body to rest at your pants. He seemed to swallow before shakily continuing. “D-Do you still want me t-to..you know.. t-”

“I still want you to fuck me, Swerve.” You finished for him, moving your hands to swiftly undo the buttons of your pants, pulling off your undergarments at the same time and tossing them behind you. You grabbed onto his wrist and guided his fingers up towards your wet folds. Swerve got the hint and gently worked one finger into the tight heat of your cunt. He could feel the gentle pulse and pull of your walls around his digit, and he could barely imagine what it would feel like around his spike. After he felt you loosen up a bit, he slid in a second digit. You let out a gasp and a soft groan at the stretch, knowing that this was just the beginning if you wanted to be prepared to take his spike. 

Swerve gently curled and flexed his digits, exploring your sex thoroughly as his processor worked overtime to memorize which movements felt the best for you. His audials turned to max sensitivity to be sure he could hear every whine and murmur of praise that fell from your lips. He could feel the second rush of energon repressurising his spike the more he pumped his digits into you. You glanced down between the both of you to smirk at his array before leaning in and pressing another kiss to his jaw.

“Awh, look at you,” You cooed, lifting your hips up to grind the tip of his spike against your clit. Swerve let out a strained whine as his hips bucked up involuntarily. Your smirk only grew. “You’re such a pretty mech for me.”

“Hnf s-stop…” Swerve whispered bashfully, turning his helm away as energon rushed to his faceplates once more.

“I mean it.” You continued, slowly easing yourself down on his spike as you guided his gaze to meet yours. Swerve’s intake fell open and his spinal struts arched as your body enveloped his length. His servos flew to your hips when he finally bottomed out inside you. The heat of your cunt pressed upon every sensor and node on his spike with such certainty that he could barely concentrate on your words. 

“Hhoh fraggghh, how are you s-so- so-ooHHFRAG-” Swerve had started to speak but you decided that now was the time to lift your hips and slam yourself back down. You started to ride the mech like an animal, your hips popping up halfway only to quickly push him back inside. Swerve let out a chorus of moans and yelps as his servos twitched against the soft plush of your thighs, squeezing every now and then to ground himself. It wasn’t until your legs started to burn that you were reminded of something. You quickly stopped your movements and grinned down at Swerve as he abruptly gasped and looked at you with a beautiful expression of desperation. 

“Wh-why- why’dya stop?” Swerve asked, his speech slurred from the sudden absence of pleasure.

“Sorry, but I just remembered that you’re the one who’s supposed to be fucking me.” You pulled yourself off of his spike and he let out a pathetic mewl at the loss of your body. His pout was quickly wiped from his face when he witnessed you getting down on all fours and slyly shaking your hips at him. You turned to smirk over your shoulder at him as he gawked at you. Not another second had passed before Swerve was on top of you, his spike easily finding its way back into your slick folds. He started pounding into you, the weight of his body pressing down nicely on your back as he mounted you.

“Mnh, there you go, good boy Swerve.” You moaned out as his spike pistoned in and out of you, shoving your body into the mattress. Swerve was brought to a mindless ramble as your pussy sucked him in deeper and tightened around him.

“Ahfraggingprimusyouretight-“ Swerve whimpered as you clenched around him harder. Your body trembled as you felt his spike throb inside you. Swerve hovered over you, intertwining his servos over your fingers as he thrust into you rapidly. “F-Frag, ____ I’m not gonna l-last much longer-“

“Good, keep going. I want you to fill me with your transfluid. Overload in me like the good mech you are.” You grinned against the mattress, turning to look at him smugly, reaching down between your legs to rub at your clit. Swerve leaned down to mewl and whine against the back of your neck as he chased his own pleasure, pushing your hips further up with every pump of his hips. 

“Fuck, Swerve- I’m-!“ You felt your eyes roll back at the drag of his thickness against your walls and you let out a filthy moan as you hit your climax. You felt the slick of your cum coat his panels as your sex tightened  around him. The whimper that left his vocalizer was angelic as he let his spike empty itself within you. Thick ropes of transfluid coated your insides, the warm sensation of sheer fullness bringing you back down from your high. Your body continued to pulse around his spike, milking him of the last of his overload as he gave a few final lazy thrusts. 

The two of you lay there panting for a while before he slowly pulled out of you, watching in awe as his cum started to slide down your thighs. You slowly turned and sat up, feeling your combined fluids seeping out of you and onto the sheets. 

“Ah… that was… let me get you a towel.” Swerve gasped, stepping to the closet to grab a towel to wipe you down with, wetting it with warm water before gently cleaning you. He lifted and placed you on the other side of the bed, putting the used towel over the wet spot after cleaning and closing his panels. 

You stared at the red and white mech with unveiled adoration as he finally sat next to you again. You leaned in and peppered his face with kisses as he gently rubbed your thigh. 

“Swerve, you do know how to keep your mouth shut about some things, right?” You murmured sleepily, hoping the bartender could keep his mouth shut for at least a week or two before word got out that the human is a mechfucker.

“Uhuh, yeah. Definitely.” Swerve nodded with determination. You sighed with a small smile, already accepting that your next appearance in the bar would not be the same after this.

[whorbidmore]

okay, so, I've fallen victim to the leon kennedy brainrot steadily overtaking me, following me from Tumblr to Pinterest, to Instagram and even the absolutely fucking dreaded application of TikTok. I don't even use it that often??? and the algorithm is just like 'wow, yeah, this little fuckers gay as hell send in the 40 year old meow meow!!' and having watched Death Island fairly recently, I'm gonna have my opinions on what this dude would be like. Cus my brain loves to rationalize shit and think ab 'what if this mf was someone real?' so... fuck it.

Leon Soft Kennedy Headcanons

SFW

accidentally bigoted. - im sorry but let's be so fucking real here. he's a 40 something year old man who spent the majority of his life in either the military, a police training academy in the 90's, or otherwise working under the U.S Federal System with minimal/no time between missions to unpack absolutely everything he's got going on... the guys gonna have some problematic tendencies. Obviously that doesn't mean he means any of that or is incapable of change, etc. etc., but I know for damn certain this dude would laugh a little at Bill Burr's borderline to blatantly misogynistic material and has probably chuckled unironically at the attack helicopter jokes. But, he's not a complete dick, and would definitely become more critical of those kinds of jokes if it's pointed out to him.

honest to God, Dad Without Kids™ - it's not simply enough for me to leave it at 'but it's the vibes!!' so, I'm gonna break this shit down. Leon is absolutely Gen X incarnate. I can fucking guarantee you that on his off days he accidentally ends up dressing as an undercover cop; I'm talking cargo shorts, light blue button up, those fucking standard issue boots cus "they're perfectly good shoes" and those stupid ass sunglasses... you know the ones I'm talking about. Let's say you're living with him, right? And you're... you, and you wanna watch something on TV. This dude would strain himself getting up like a turtle fallen backwards on its shell, stand up, walk right in front of the TV screen and stand there with his hands on his hips. It doesn't matter that he had to piss, he needs to get a better look of what's happening! Does those really loud, obnoxious coughs and sneezes, absolutely blows his back out doing one at least five times a year.

Only watches British Reality TV - Considering he's canonically a film buff, I'll say that this is purely for whatever he gravitates towards on general streaming services. I honestly don't see him being the type to regularly tune in to standard American cable TV, or only does so under specific circumstances like American Ninja Warrior or maybe Forged in Fire if there's absolutely nothing else. It's not something that's exclusive to Americans, — I'm from New Zealand and I do this too, — but Leon absolutely falls into the category of watching British Reality and Game shows purely because of the accents. I'm talking Jeremy Kyle, The Big Fat Quiz of Everything, Taskmaster, The Great British Bake Off and so on and so forth. It doesn't matter that baking isn't his forté or a passion of his, if Josephine curdles her buttercream by over mixing, his hands are in his hair in utter disappointment. 100% tries to mimic their accents too. We all do it, don't lie.

Has... very dated music tastes - I don't know if you could guess, but the last paragraph included me calling myself out and name dropping some shows I watch anyway or grew up watching, and I'm just saying that this is gonna be no different. If anything? This'll be worse! Since I'm very passionate about the music I listen to and have the inability to keep my interests separated from the other, of course my love of particular bands will bleed over into my interpretation of Leon's character! Anyway, all that for me to say that Leon fucking LOVES 90's grunge musicians, specifically Pearl Jam and Soundgarden, as well as early nu metal bands like Korn (their dubstep phase did not happen.), TOOL, and Rage Against the Machine — and no, he unfortunately doesn't see the irony of him being a fed and listening to Rage, — but would also have a soft spot for psych rock, post-punk and shoegaze. My man's definitely laid awake at night, sobbing without expression as he struggles to accept that Ada never really wanted him like he wanted her while listening to fucking Slowdive. My hottest take here is that he doesn't really listen to Deftones. Like he'll occasionally blast My Own Summer, Change, Bored or Rosemary, but anything outside of those? He just didn't listen to 'em. My second hottest take is that he does NOT like Slipknot, which kind of pains me 'cus I do, but I fucking bet you this dude would actually adopt one piece of "Gen Z lingo" or whatever just call them cringe. Though admittedly he would've been jamming the fuck out to Psychosocial and The Devil in I when they came out. Went off the deep end in Vendetta, obviously, and drunk-cried himself to sleep on the couch listening to Linkin Park.

Very confusing spending habits - On one hand, we all understand that Leon came from money, — he was implied to have been born into a mob family from my understanding? And I doubt he'd ever really had to worry about being fully, irrevocably broke, — but I'm sure that growing up in the U.S Foster Care System made him at least a little more cautious of where his money comes from, where it's going, what he's spending it on, etc. So, on the one hand, he's apprehensive to spend recklessly, particularly on perishables. But also, if he can drop over $100,000USD on a motorcycle that got absolutely fucking cheese grated into the road, and spend a perceived, metric fuck ton of money on designer leather jackets and massive watches, it's gonna be hard for me to call him 'financially conscious'. On one hand, he gets apprehensive on spending more money than he needs to on food since he's "just gonna shit it out later", but if he sees a cool watch or a nice suit in a shop window? Money's suddenly not an issue! Not because he's materialistic, but because the one thing he really maintains a sense of control over in his life are his possessions and the way he dresses. The D.S.O can call him in for another months long mission whenever they please, and all he can realistically do is allow the government to tug on his leash and put him where he's needed. He may as well spend their money on things he wants!

Gets out... enough? But also, not really? - So, personally I've pegged Leon as more of an introverted person, — amateurly typed his MBTI as possibly ISFJ? — so he doesn't really feel the need to go out and meet new people or really hang out with anyone. If somebody invites him out? Sure, he'll go. Otherwise, it rarely occurs to him to meet up with friends or colleagues at a cafe or anywhere. I think he'd prefer to just go there alone, mostly for the sake of having somebody else cook for him as opposed to actively seeking out the atmosphere. It's pure convience in his mind. And remember when I said in the beginning about him accidentally being at least a little misogynistic? Yeah, that was me trying to say that he regularly tries to hit on younger waitresses. Not because he actually wants anything to do with them, but simply because it's an ego boost. He likes that he can make girls half his age blush or offer him their numbers, because it tells him that he's still desirable, and ultimately, that gives him the power to reject them politely and go about the rest of his day. If they don't reject him first, of course. Admittedly, Leon's audacity towards women peaked during Infinite Darkness.

Since I'm planning on posting more NSFW headcanons for this guy, — and more NSFW kinds of posts, — here is the obligatory Minors DNI attachment. For your own safety, I don't care if what I have to say is tame so far, you can hold it off I promise.

[soullumii]

if my heart’s gonna break | joel miller x f!reader

part 1 (read part 1 before reading this!)

summary: a couple nights later, you head back to joel’s

warnings: 18+!!!! smut again. unprotected piv. fem!afab!reader. angst again don’t worry i’ll make a happy ending okay

word count: 4k

joel mod in gif is by speclizer (so fucking hot oh my GODDDD)

a/n: finally finished part 2 omg i’m sorry for the wait yall… i’m a perfectionist it’s lowkey debilitating. anyways… i hope u guys enjoy <3 tysm for the support on part 1 and tbh on all my other fics too… i can’t believe ppl like my writing that much. i am very grateful! 🫶🏻🫶🏻

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

im scared but if my heart's gonna break before the night will end

i said we're in danger

sleeping with a friend

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

You cant stop thinking about the kiss. 

The kiss that honestly shouldn’t mean so much to you. You’ve kissed him, like, so many times. So many times his tongue has been in your mouth, been in your damn vagina. So why the fuck… why the fuck are you so worked up over this right now?

It’s just…it was so heavy. It felt like…like more than just a kiss. Like he was laying his life down for you, much like he does in patrols. 

He… Joel… he usually never kisses right after sex. He recognizes in the post-coitus energy that things are different. They mean more. He has to know that. So… why now? Does he…?

No. You’re just in your head again. Maybe you’re thinking about it too hard. You’ve never had a friends with benefits situation before now. Maybe this… maybe this is regular.

But for your own psyche, you think you might have to set some ground rules. 

There was always that main rule, that wretched, critical rule. The one you said to him on the first day of your strange exchange.

“Don’t go falling in love with me, cowboy.”

Well, to hell with that one, right? Pretty sure you’ve beaten that shit to death. Shattered all possible remains of it.

So more rules. More rules will have to do. Starting with:

No kissing.

Should be easy enough. 

You’ll figure out the rest later. You have got to stop thinking about it, though, because you’re on the way to his house right now. 

You knock swiftly on the door, and you swear you feel your heart drop into your pussy the moment he opens the door to reveal himself. A plain, black t-shirt is stretched across his broad chest, haphazardly tucked into a pair of plaid pajama pants that hang loosely around his hips. His graying hair is ruffled beyond belief, curling around his ears and falling over his forehead. In your fits of passion and desire a couple nights ago, you hardly realized it had grown longer. It looks nice.

This sleepy and soft Joel is not one you’ve seen in a while. Well, it’s not like you’ve seen him much lately anyway, with him having been gone and all. Still, it’s disorienting. 

“Howdy,” he says.

“Um. Hi.” You try not to gawk. “Did…did I come at a bad time, or something?”

“No, not at all. I just got back from patrols… took a shower,” he says, leaning a shoulder against the door jamb, strong arms crossing over his chest. There’s a tiny, barely perceptible smirk on his lips. “Need somethin’?”

You see it now, the water clinging to his hair, darkening it, beading at his temples like sweat. You follow a line of water trickling down his throat until it disappears behind his collar.

Rule 2: Don’t come over after he’s showered.

“I…uh, I can come back later if you want—“

You’re nervous to ask him what you want to ask him, which is honestly ridiculous considering you guys have been doing this for months now. You used to be able to just knock on his door and he’d pull you in, and it was that easy. Or you’d give him a look when in public, and he knew exactly what you needed.

Now, you’re painfully awkward. Curse him and curse your feelings.

He straightens a bit, his brows furrowing in slight concern. “What’s goin’ on?”

Heat spreads down your neck, embarrassment. Shame. It’s strange, how just a couple nights ago you let him finger you in public, and now you’re afraid to ask him for sex again in his house and for your panties back.

You should honestly just say something like:

I’m here for my underwear.

And you’re positive he’d say:

Want it back? You gotta earn it, sweetheart.

And your knees would buckle and you’d sink down to the carpeted floor in front of his couch and suck him off until he was coming down your throat, stroking back your hair and thumbing his cum on your plush bottom lip.

But instead you’re scowling at him and blurting: “I need a drink.”

How dare he leave you high and dry for three weeks, come back and fuck the shit out of you, make you realize you’re in love with him, and look this good?

God damnit, you need to get your shit together. 

Joel’s eyes widen, surprised only slightly by your outburst, before he backs up to allow you inside his home. When he shuts the door behind you, his hand settles warmly on your lower back as he steers you toward the kitchen.

He immediately beelines for the liquor cabinet and grabs a bottle of red for you. A warm, tingly feeling stirs in your stomach at the fact that he knew you’d want wine. The frustration you’ve been feeling fizzles out. 

“You know me so well.”

He gives you a light smirk, uncorking the bottle. The liquor gurgles as he pours it into a glass. “Think you’d kill me if I didn’t know after all this time.”

You laugh, “Sure, but the real test of friendship is if you knew how I’d kill you.”

“A swift kick to the nuts and then one of my guitars to my head.”

Your eyes widen on a guffaw. “You think I’d damage one of your guitars?”

“You care more about my guitars than my genitals?” 

“Yes. Why would I ever smash one of your guitars?”

He rolls his eyes. “Kill two birds with one stone—my soul and my body. It’s effective. If you needed to kill me, I’d hope it was like that. Now how would I kill you?” 

You hum in consideration. “Trick question. You wouldn’t—no, you couldn’t.”

“You know me so well.” 

His words mirrored back at you so gently, with his brown eyes trained on you intently has the warmth in your belly spreading, making you drop your gaze.

His smirk grows and he hands you the wine glass and reaches for some homemade brandy. You watch the muscles in his arm flex as he pours, sipping daintily while your mind replays thoughts of filth. Of you dragging that arm between your legs, grinding down on it until—

“So, you really only here for a drink?” He asks with a playful lilt, taking a sip of his own beverage and effectively jolting you out of your daydreaming.

You lean against the island, wondering if you should tell him the truth. From the way he’s looking at you, hungrily and heated, like a lion ready to pounce, you’re tempted to.

But…you’re afraid. You can’t stop thinking about The Rule. The one you broke and the ones you just made. You wonder if whatever might happen between you two tonight will unravel them before you can even put them into place.

You look up at him through your lashes, lips pursed around the rim of the glass. “Maybe, maybe not.”

His eyes darken, tongue darting out to lick his lips of sweet fermented wine. His gaze travels up and down your figure, comfortable and breathable in a t-shirt and shorts. Nothing fancy and cute like your sundress from the other night, because today you had to work. But Joel has never minded what you’ve worn, swearing you always look sexy in anything.

Which is something that also makes you question this friends with benefits situation you have here.

He sets his glass down and eases in closer, curling an arm around your waist to pull you into him. “How high’s the chance then?”

“…What do you mean?”

“I mean what’s the probability that you really did only come here for a drink?” he drawls, eyes following your lips as your tongue dips out to wet them. “Or was there another reason?”

The cold tip of his nose brushes along your throat, lips ghosting over your skin. You tremble in his hold. “Odds are in favor of the first option,” you breathe, “ran out of alcohol at my place.”

“And you couldn’t just stop by the Bison? Had to steal from my stores?”

“You know you have the good stuff.”

“You’re lyin’ but I’ll pretend like you ain’t.”

That makes you laugh, and more tumble out of you when one of his hands traces lazily over your stomach, fingers light and delicate and teasing.

“So why d’ya need a drink?”

Because you’re driving me crazy. Because I’m driving myself crazy. Because the universe wants to fuck me over.

You smile and your free hand skates up his muscled back, your fingers brushing along the stretchy fabric of his tee, your voice soft. “Just needed to destress a little. Work has been intense.”

He grins back, presses it into the spanse between your throat and your shoulder, before he lightly scrapes his teeth over it and lays a gentle bite that has you keening into him, pressing your body against his.

“Well, I could help you destress another way too,” he murmurs, palm squeezing the pudgy flesh of your waist, fingers digging lightly into your muscle.

“Mm… yeah?” you hum, your voice a low purr, back arching. Your breasts press into his chest, and Joel makes a sound deep in his throat in agreement.

He presses you into the island, caging you in with his hands on either side of you. He towers over you, a sweatpant clad leg sliding between yours. 

He leans down to kiss you, and a flashing light blares in your mind — NO KISSING — loud and bright and distracting. You turn your head at the last second, his lips landing on your cheek. But Joel doesn’t pull back, doesn’t question you. He just kisses down your cheek, along your jaw, mouthing at you. Sucking your skin to leave little marks that will either fade or be covered by concealer. 

It used to upset you when he left marks because they’re a pain to cover up. Then, you started to like it. You didn’t mind covering up the marks because when you took the makeup off and saw them at the end of the day, all you could think about was him. About the how he made you come. About the words he muttered in your ear. About the feeling of his hands on you—in you. 

Now, you’re starting to grow upset again, but this time it’s because you want to wear them proudly. Want people to know he gets to claim you like this. But… you can’t. But you also don’t want him to stop.

You allow him to continue marking you up, his hand coming up to rest behind your skull, holding you in place. You press your body into his eagerly and with desperate, soft noises that he returns with placating moans.

And then he shifts, and his thigh ruts against your clothed core, and you moan lightly, airily, grinding your hips down against him, searching for any friction. 

His hands curl around the hem of your white tee, and he peels it off your body. One skates behind your back to easily undo the clasp of your bra, and then your breasts are heavy and on display for him. 

Joel stares down at you with heavy eyes. “Christ, you’re beautiful.”

Longing claws at your chest, and you look up at him coyly, your lip caught between your teeth. Joel groans like he’s in pain, and squeezes along the underside of one of your breasts before leaning down to close his mouth over the nipple while his other hand gives attention to the other, squeezing and pinching. Your hands find purchase in his damp hair as low moans tumble from your lips. 

When he’s deemed one nipple adequately appreciated, he moves onto the next. Licking, revering, his dark eyes peering up at you while his peppered hair is fisted in your hands. The sight has slick arousal pooling in your underwear.

Eventually he pulls back and his hands clamp down on your hips. He guides you along the muscle of his thigh, your clit pulsing at the contact. 

“Want you to come on my thigh, baby.” His voice is a ragged slur of words against your ear, warm and paired with a kiss to your cartilage. 

“Fuck…yes, Joel,” you whimper, sparks flying through your nerves with each roll of your hips.

His fingers grip your chin, tilting your head so you have no choice but to keep eye contact with him as you rut against his thigh. He’s grinning, eyes heavy lidded and deep, dark like wet tar. They suck you in as if they were quicksand.

You’d let him drag you under a million times over. 

Your best friend.

“Joel,” you moan, feeling yourself grow close. Standing at the cliff's edge. His eyes bore into yours, his grin slipping as he focuses on you. Focuses on making you shatter atop him.

“Come on, baby. You can do it. You can come,” he says encouragingly,  fingers stroking the skin of your hip. You feel tears prick your eyes as the waves crash, spreading from your throbbing clit along your muscles. Filling you with warmth, stronger and deeper than the buzz from the wine.

“Good job,” he praises gently. “Did so good.”

“Shut up,” you huff.

He laughs, and despite yourself, heat floods your body, throbs between your thighs. His words caress a deep, carnal animal inside of you, and the hunger takes over.

You frantically pull at his shirt until he has to tell you to slow down, and takes it off himself. Your hands run along his chest and stomach the moment they’re able to and down to the waistband of his sweats. You palm his hardening cock through the soft, gray fabric. Joel groans deep and heavy, his lashes fluttering as he stares you down. His hips thrust into your palm automatically. Involuntarily. 

God, that makes you light up like a firefly. Makes your nerves sing and your cunt flutter and your mind go numb.

He tugs down your shorts and underwear and sets you on top of the granite, but before he can strip the underwear from your ankle to no doubt pocket this pair like he did the other, you flick it off your foot across the kitchen. It lands somewhere near the door to the dining room.

He can’t steal all your underwear, or you’ll have none left.

“I wanted those,” he drawls, expression on the edge of a pout.

“Yeah, well I need them. It’s not common to come across a good pair of panties in this world.” 

“But I’d give ‘em back.” He’s full on pouting now. It is, unfortunately, very cute, but you’re used to it.

“Sure… like the pair you took from me the other night that I have yet to receive.” 

“How else am I supposed to get you to come over?” 

“I dunno? Maybe ask?”

“Should I leave a note on your door? Is that good enough for you?”

“At least be classy. A letter delivered in my mailbox with a wax stamp, please.” 

He laughs. “As you wish, Princess.”

He finally peels off his sweatpants, free of underwear beneath them, and you watch with barely concealed hunger as his cock springs free. 

And while you like the idea of him fucking you on the counter, you’d much rather him fuck you against the counter, so you hop down and turn so your back faces him. Your hands curl around the granite lip of the counter top, and you push your ass out and back, peering at him over your shoulder.

This way, it’s easier for him not to kiss you. Easier for you to turn your head and deny your lips to him. 

“Look at you…” Joel hums appreciatively at your show, at the wiggle of your hips as his palm smooths down your back and over your ass, squeezing at the plump flesh. 

You moan quietly, and Joel’s eyes darken, watching you intently like you’re the only thing in the room. 

His fingers drift down to your cunt and your slickness coats his fingers fully. You’re so wet for him. So ready for him to bury himself inside you and call you his.

It’s funny, you’ve lost all your heat from a few nights ago. All your sharp edged words. Now, you’re soft and pliant.

He swirls his soaked index and middle fingers along your clit, punctuating your sensitivity, before sliding them back inside you to the knuckle. You keen and push back, desperate for more. His fingers are so much longer than yours, thicker, and yet you crave more.

“That’s it, Joel,” you huff. “Fuck, feels so good. Need more.”

“Yeah? Tell me what you need, baby girl.”

Shame lights your cheeks, but you push down the embarrassment. “Need…need your cock inside me.”

He lays a kiss on your neck. “Still a bit desperate aren’t we?”

“You’re the desperate one, Mr. Panty Stealer. You’re a fucking creep.”

He chuckles against your neck, but he squeezes your ass in retaliation. “Be nice, would you?”

“You like it when I’m mean.”

“Wanna see how much I like it?”

“If you’re willing to show me and get on with this, sure.”

He huffs in amused frustration. “God, you’re annoyin’.”

You just smile innocently at him.

Your legs tremble, slick running down your thighs when Joel pulls his fingers out. He replaces them with the hardness of his cock, of which he runs along your wetness, readying himself.

“I think ‘bout you way too much,” he says into your back, pressing a gentle kiss there. “D’ya think ‘bout me too?”

It’s an odd question. One you’re not expecting. One that has your heart stuttering in quiet confusion from this sudden switch in tone.

“Of course I do.” Obviously. You told him as much. Three weeks. Three weeks you thought about him.

“Good… wanna be the only thing on your mind.”

A high pitched keen hisses through your teeth as Joel eases himself inside you with a long, slow stroke and a low moan. Your fingers white knuckle the countertop, gripping it tightly.

He presses in close, burying himself all the way in before he withdraws slowly, his cock sliding inside you torturously. 

“Joel,” you moan.

“I know, baby.” He presses kisses to your shoulders. 

Joel’s hand gravitates to the back of your knee, and he slowly pushes up to lift your leg until your knee is resting on the counter. 

And then… with this new angle…he starts fucking you in earnest.

His hips snap against your ass, the sound deafening in the kitchen, and you crumple against the granite with a moan.

“Shit,” Joel grunts. “Yeah.”

Each of his heavy thrusts punches the air from your lungs, and your fingers slip on the countertop, scrabbling for purchase every chance you can get. He’s hot, thick inside you, warm as he folds over you, his hand on your tummy holding you upright, the other keeping your leg up to continue hitting you at that pleasant, delicious angle.

“H-holy shit—oh—“

He breathes heavily at your neck, low grunts and moans escaping his lips from his efforts. “Could spend eternity inside you, darlin’. Fuck, you’re mine.”

Your heart stutters, the words uttered in a lust filled craze, likely meaning nothing. But to your traitorous brain, to the hope lingering in your chest like a persistent cough, they mean everything. 

“All…” you’re losing your train of thought, fucked into blissful nothingness. “All yours, Joel.” 

It’s too difficult for him to kiss you from this angle, which you’re relieved about. But a part of you longs for it, longs for the feel of his mouth moving against yours. 

Joel’s strong arm wraps around your chest, and pulls you up so you’re flush against his back as he pounds up and into you. Keens and whimpers and breathless pants escape you with every thrust.

“Please, Joel,” you cry, tears pricking at the edges of your swirling vision.

“What, baby?” He huffs. “Need’a come?”

You nod crazily. “Yes—need to—“

“Shhh okay… I’ve got you,” he murmurs gently, the hand wrapped around your tummy inching down to circle at your clit steadily.

Your legs buckle beneath you but Joel keeps you upright as the pleasure soars through you, sudden and strong. He strokes you through it, groaning praises into your ear before he comes inside you a moment later. 

The two of you hiss in tandem when he pulls out, but he smothers it when he lays his mouth over yours. You’re hardly coherent enough to remember your rule, and for a moment you let him kiss you. You kiss him back, chasing the heat of his mouth with your own, moaning against his lips when his tongue dips into your mouth. 

Then, you remember.

You pull back panting, cheeks a flame, “Joel.”

“Hm?” He murmurs, dragging his lips down your jaw before moving back up to pull you into another kiss. You move away before he can. His brows furrow in confusion. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t… I don’t think we should kiss anymore.”

He blinks. “What? Why?”

Your eyes flit across the kitchen, catching on labeled jars and wooden spoons and spices, anything but his own. “It’s too intimate.” 

It’s a lame excuse. Joel sees through it immediately.

“And my cock inside you ain’t?”

You sigh heavily, avoiding eye contact. “It’s different.”

“How? Enlighten me.” His tone has gone rougher. Hurt swirls in his eyes, and you feel worse than you did the other night.

Because you and I are friends. Because I don’t think I can pretend like that’s the truth when all I want is to call you mine. Because when I kiss you it’s like my world finally starts to make sense. 

“Please, Joel. Just…I don’t want to do it anymore. Can you respect that, please?”

He runs a hand down his beard, his hurt expression hardening into a stoic one you haven’t been on the receiving end of in years. Fuck. “Alright, I’m sorry. I won’t kiss you anymore.”

You expect relief but all that comes is a deep longing and sadness that you try to push to the depths of your conscience. Though, like a buoy, it keeps popping above the surface. 

“Thanks,” you say quietly.

The cleanup is awkward. He watches you silently as you pick up your underwear and slide them and your shorts back on. He seems far away, here and gone all at once. It makes you worry, makes you wonder if what you just said was the biggest mistake of your life.

But you have to do this. You have to hold him at arm's length because if you admit to him…if you tell him how you really feel… maybe he really will leave you. He’ll realize you’ve gone and fucked everything up, and the friendship you’ve kindled, the trust you’ve built, will all be for nothing.

You can’t lose him, even if it means you can’t keep him close.

“Thanks for tonight,” you say eventually, when he’s walking you out the front door.

He smiles at you, faint and untrue. It’s like the one from the other night. Like that laugh he forced out for you. You feel like a Joel from the past has teleported to the present, with his thin smile and his hard eyes. “Yeah, of course.”

“You okay?”

Joel frowns, shifts on his feet. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I dunno. You just seem… I don’t know. Never mind.”

“I’m good.” 

“You sure?”

He nods. “You need me to walk you home?”

“No, I’ll be okay.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm,” you hum. A moth circles the porch light. The two of you stare at each other for a long moment. He looks as if he wants to say something, but thinks better of it.

“Okay,” is all that he says. 

“Okay,” you repeat, feeling empty. A waif, a lonely white flag waving in the wind. “Um, I’ll see you later, then.”

“Yeah, sounds good. Night, darlin’,” he says, squeezing your arm, like he’s trying to be normal. It doesn’t work. His hand is cold. “Sweet dreams.”

“Night, Joel.”

It’s raining by the time you reach your house, and you curl under your blankets after a shower, your hair cold and wet against your scalp, listening to the droplets splattering against your window.

Sleep doesn’t come easy.

part 3

[regular-gnome]

Absolutely /adore/ your art and overall take on the Demon Realm world + it's history and the Archivists. Especially coming from someone who adores speculative biology and trying to find logic/science in magic (I'm not sure how to word it so it makes sense - basically almost everything you are doing here)

Curious if you have any ideas on how the titans managed to inhabit the planet, because Papa Titan's hand managed to reach the atmosphere just from lying down. There's no way that planet was big enough for a bunch of titans to walk around comfortably.

Idk much about planetary stuff, but is there some way the planet may have changed? Maybe the Archivists did something?

Sorry this ask got kinda long, hope you have a lovely day doing little gnome things :}

glad you like them!:D

So, one of the gnome things is overanalyzing things and avoiding doing math, but here we are, you actually made me read my biophysics notes from 4 years ago. There are a few things to really focus on and think about, but I gotta preface this by saying I am very much not an expert on speculative biology xD I just have the internet and some books I am basing my theories on

Titans:

First the titans themselves. A while ago, I made an approximation of how large the Boiling Isles titan is and got that it would be around 27 km in height post-mortem. Buuut if the titan was this height during its life is another question because it would run into some biophysics issues

Issues like the atmospheric pressure. At ground level, it is 101.3 kPa, but at 27 km, it falls is 1.6 hPa (titan bless wolframalpha for counting this as exp funtions are the death of me). That is 63 times higher pressure on their legs than on their head! Blood circulation would be shot to the moon. The blood is liquid that in general transports gasses so travelling fron upper body parts to lower ones where there is diffrent dissoving of oxygen would end up in gas bubbles, which are NOT GREAT. Additionally, their ability to stand up or lie down quickly would be pretty much non-existant as that would be super fast change of pressure and more bubbles. But okay, lets say they are like some kind of abyss fishes and keep constant internal pressure.. that would still mean their hearts would need to be either massive or they would have multiple pumping mechanisms to handle their size (maybe like the single-chamber hearts in fish??) And the thing is we saw their heart, it was big but not THAT big so unless it was just one of many, maybe the last beating heart there might be diffrent explanation. And Im not gonna even go into how temperature changes every 100m around 0,6C, lets say their fur makes them warm and cozy and blue blood avoids freezing problems like some arctic critters

bringing those graphs up again cause they show the altitude change nicely

All of this to say the titans during life were probably smaller. They would still have been massive, but maybe not three times the size of mt Everest massive. So next thing to consider is their magic. Their powers are closely tied to life, healing and creation and so, the demons on the Boiling Isles are said to have originated from it and their evolution waas likely sped up a lot thanks to it. Next we saw size-changing spells affecting King in the carnival episode, so it's not a stretch to believe that all titans could be affected by this kind of spells, with the strength depending on the particular titan's magic. So anyway as the titan was activly dying, its magic could have desperately attempted to save it by rapidly generating more cells to repair its failing systems, ending up in expansion of all tissues and their overall size. (Maybe thats why the vains were so big and empty in the mines, you cant create more energy so maybe the magic going with simmilar concept expanded everything around but not made more of blood?) However, despite these efforts, the magic would ultimately fail to save them. When it reached a critical point, maybe after using up most of its magical energy, the process would stop or change focus. There are some fun grusome possiblities on how that might have went down but this is already pretty long

So in short, I think the titans during life were big but only got island sized after death, otherwise theyd have some wild biological mechanisms battling physics and them becomming bigger would explain where did most of the blood go after death. Not to mention how much food they would need

Planet:

Next the size of the planet. While we don't have many clues to determine whether it's bigger or smaller than Earth, one clue is Luz's lack of reaction to changing gravity after passing through the door. If the planet were larger (or denser I know), she would feel change in g-force, so like the feeling of being on a lift going up in case of bigger planet or down in case of smaller. If the diffrence was significant she would develop issues with circulatory system and fatigue. But thats not the case and I do not have the energy to calculate min change xD

So let's say the planet is Earth-sized. This is still a lot. We don't know if there are any continents on the planet or their sizes, but even if there were same like earth, the scale is immense. If the Boiling Isles were the size of New York (based on titan's height) or even larger, say the size of Hawaii, compared to the world map, that's tiny. If Earh is 510 100 000 km², while NYC covers 1213,3 km² to cover the same area, we'd need 420423 titans lied up neatly next to each other. And thats if they are isles sized their whole life. There can also be landmasses where they can lay on, oceans deep enough to cover bodies, they can be stacked.... I don't think the planet necessarily needs to be much larger to accommodate creatures of this size

TOH as a show:

One thing to remember while analyzing shots from the show is that we we will run into contradictions because it's a show, one that is not focused on speculative biology. While most elements are well-constructed, some details may show inconsistencies. For example, determining the direction of north on a titan becomes challenging when one shot shows the sun setting in one direction and later another. Finding the titan's height poses difficulties when one shot shows their arm reaching the atmosphere while another barely shows them reaching it while standing. But its not due to carelessness, its more about serving purpose of the shot, conveying the atmosphere. They both show the titans are giant, the view from above is beautiful and if they were more focused on keeping them some arbitrery size it might have taken away from it

And Im pretty sure that I'm wrong around a lot of aspects here, how it wasnt supposed to be interpreted like that or its more convoluted than I realize. Thats just my take on this. World we live in can seem small as we can only see a tiny part of it but Earth is so amazingly vast. It's larger than we can comprehend, and yet, it's nothing compared to the vastness of the universe. So, yeah, some of my thoughts on titans and the demon realms planet xD peace

[1whore1gang]

it’s the little things🤍

hey y’all! this is part 6!!

catch up HERE

sorry this took so long to get out to y’all, been working like crazy and had some writers block, BUT IM HERE TO FEED YALL

warnings: SMUT SMUT SMUT SMUT SMUT SMUT

MDNI!!!

Taglist: @gaymistakeboi@batw3nch@thedevillovesflowers@almightywdm@ghostslittlegf@sketchyfandomgirl@under-the-dirt@clear-your-mind-and-dream@darkangel4121@vreselia@llemes @stargaliz @rockcollector3000 @nottrosaxx

as always please yell at me if i forgot you!

You lay in your cot, your body aching from the long days of hard work. You had just gotten back from a shift, your phone ringing as your back hit the fabric. You had super shotty service, so a call coming throigh was a miracle.

“Hey baby, I hope you’re well.” You swiped to answer the call. It was your John.

“Hey honey, just tired as hell.” You chuckled a little as you laid on your side, placing your phone next to you.

“I know you don’t have much time to talk and need your rest but I wanted to not only hear your voice but let you know I met the babysitter today. She cleared the background check and she loves the boys.” You could hear his smile in his voice.

“That’s good.” You replied, your eyes closed as you felt your body relax to his voice.

“She’s young, 19. She’s a spritey thing, lots of energy. She’s bubbly and super great with the boys. Her name is Tia. I think she’ll be good for them, be able to keep up.” He sounded excited, and you were happy he’d found a girl you could trust to watch the boys.

“I’m glad babe, hopefully they don’t chase her away. How much is she charging? Is she staying on base?”

He chuckled, “I’m paying her so don’t you worry about the money doll, as for her, she’s staying in my room. I’m giving my room a deep clean and washing my sheets before I leave.”

“She’s sleeping in your bed?” You opened your eyes at this and propped yourself up on your elbow.

“Yeah, comfier than the couch.” He said it so casually, but it somewhat bothered you that some babysitter was sleeping in his bed before you were. Yes, you chose not to, but it still bothered you, the idea of a much younger woman sleeping in his sheets, using his room for herself. “Baby?”

His voice broke you out of your thoughts. “Yeah, but the couch isn’t too bad. I’ve been sleeping on it. I would prefer it over my current situation.” You heard John laugh a little.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be out there before you know it, I’ll make sure you stay comfy and get rested. Tia though-“ He continued to ramble on about how Tia did with the boys and what he thought of her. He spoke about how she’s coming again so he can give her a rundown on everything she’ll need to know, and make sure she doesn’t have any questions. He said he’s going to spend the day with her and the boys so she can get acquainted.

It bothered you a bit. You knew deep down it was nothing, John wouldn’t sleep with a 19 year old, nor would he cheat on you. Right?

“But, I’ll let you go my love, get some rest. I’ll see you in 4 days.” You big your goodbyes as he hung up.

You quickly fell into a deep sleep.

“Lieutenant! Get your ass up and get to your post!!” You woke up to Captain Snyder’s voice booming. “You’ve got 20 minutes until your shift, get moving.”

“Yes sir.” Your voice was hoarse as you arose from the rough cot and threw on the missing pieces of your uniform you didn’t sleep in. Your eyes were heavy as you hobbled to your post, taking the jeep to the embassy.

You noticed your soldiers were in a similar state? you were all starving and restless. Some soldiers had been sent home because of their sickness, being considered critical. You did your best not to push your squad, letting them take breaks and rest up, but more and more were falling ill, including yourself.

Unfortunately, being the leader, you weren’t allowed to go take a break or go rest up to feel healthy. You had to push through and manage, and that had caused you to become a shell of yourself. You had continued to lose weight, lose energy and motivation, even feeling i’ll yourself. You weren’t able to eat from lack of appetite, anything you ate came back up within an hour.

You felt like death, and you were scared for John to see you this way, but he was bringing backup to replace the soldiers who had been rushed to hospitals.

At night while you were watching transports, you dreamed of him getting off that plane, the way his arms would save you from the trouble you’d endured here.

The worst part of this mission though? Captain Snyders team was completely fine. They were all healthy, rested and none of them had fallen ill. They weren’t being pushed like your squad.

There was something fishy here and you couldn’t put your finger on it. You didn’t have the energy to even put thought into it.

You were so close to John’s arrival, only 36 hours until he arrived. You were on duty when you were checking someone into the embassy and you felt your field of vision turn black. You grabbed into Private Frag next to you as you felt yourself begin to collapse.

You woke up 32 hours later. Captain Snyder was in the med tent with you and the nurse. He looked pissed. “Lieutenant, nice of you to join us. What the hell were you thinking?! You have a crew to take care of!”

“I’m sorry sir, I haven’t been feeling myself lately.” Your voice came out so quietly, your voice lost somewhere.

“No excuses L.T. You’re here because I recommended you. Your commendable leadership in previous missions was what got you here. Your behavior on this mission has been unacceptable, and therefore you’ve been sentenced to 24 hour duty. You will watch the embassy starting tomorrow at noon, and finishing the following day at noon with no breaks.” You felt your breath catch, there was no way he expected you to do that in your condition. You could barely speak! Barely move!

“Sir, I don’t mean to talk back but-“

“Then don’t speak.” You felt the feeling of crying, but no tears came due to your dehydration. “You are allowed the rest of today to rest, but I want to see you well and alive tomorrow at noon at the embassy’s back entrance to begin your shift. Now, if you excuse me I have to go welcome to incoming squad and Captain Price.”

You sighed at his name, your John was here. You began to breath unevenly, emotion taking over you, but you were too tired to cry. “Sir, if I could just-“

“No Lieutenant. You will not speak any longer. You are to remain silent when I am in your presence. I do not want anymore inexcusable behavior from you and if there is, I will be forced to punish you accordingly.” He was stern as he threw his cap on and exited the tent.

You felt helpless as the nurse shushed you and began to administer more fluids into your IV and tried to give you some food.

A couple of hours later, you were up and walking. You were hardly doing it, but the nurse needed the bed for a soldier who had gotten a stomach parasite while in the desert. You were on your way back to your tent when you saw Captain Snyder.

His cocky smirk made your stomach sink. “Lieutenant! I see your back to your normal self!” He landed a hard pat to your shoulder, making you nearly topple over.

“Sir, please, I really need a couple of days to recover, I’m not well.” You looked up at him with your droopy, sunken in eyes.

He laughed. “You think I’m going to allow you that? I am your superior and you are going to listen to me. You answer to me and take orders from me. If I tell you you’re fine and to fulfill your 24 hour tomorrow, that’s what you do. Clear?”

“Captain, sir, please-“

“I said clear?!” His voice echoed as he shouted in your face, his grip tight on your upper arm.

“Sir-“

“I’m sorry.” You heard a cocky voice fill your ears. “What did you just say?” It was a voice that began to fill your soul with life.

“Captain Price.” Snyder kept his grip on you as he turned. “I was just telling my Lieutenant here-“

“Your Lieutenant?” John chuckled lowly as he slowly stepped closer, foot by foot.

“I am her Captain now, she takes her orders from me.” His grip tightened on you as he straightened himself to stand taller. You whimpered at the brusing grip of his fingers digging into your skin.

John’s laugh brought your eyes up to him. Your knees about gave out at the sight of him. He was in full uniform, his guns hanging from his hip, his boonie cap hanging low on his forehead. “Last time I checked Captain,” He spat the man’s title. “Her vest says 141, so does her file. That makes her my Lieutenant.” John cocked his head to the side as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“You are not apart of this mission Price.” Snyder kept his arm on you, almost like his bruises in your arm would claim you as his property.

“Get your hands off my officer before I lay mine on you.” John’s voice was a growl as he threatened Snyder. “Now.”

You felt the fingers dug into your arm slowly release as you wobbled, now standing on your own. You fully faced John, seeing him fully. His gaze softened at your state. “She will only ever take orders from me, her Captain. She will not take anything from your mouth. She is my Lieutenant, and will report to me and only me.” He gently grabbed you as he escorted you to your tent, leaving Captain Snyder speechless.

“Oh Y/N, my dear.” He set you on your cot, coming to sit with you, letting you lean against him. “What is happening here?”

You sniffled as you took in that homey scent of him. The sweet cologne mixed with cigar smoke. He was here, your John was here. “How’re the boys, I miss them.”

“Oh your voice-“ He began to draw circles into your back as he ran his hand through your hair, shushing you. “Don’t talk, save your energy to rest, love. I’m so sorry this is happening.”

You look up at him, staring into his eyes. “Kiss me.”

He doesn’t hesitate to follow your instructions. His lips meet yours briefly, yet the kiss was so full of love and care. “Darling…”

“John?” You said.

“Yes dear?”

“What was that out there?”

“What was what?” He cocked his head, raising his eyebrows as he stared down at you.

“Your Lieutenant?” You smirked, kissing him again.

“You are mine. That man has no right to talk to you that way. Only I can boss you around, only I can order you around. You’re mine.” His eyes darkened as he spoke, his voice a low growl.

“John?” You cooed.

“Yes Y/N?” His eyes were hooded as he looked at you.

“Make me yours.” John flinched forward to kiss you but quickly stopped. “John?”

“I don’t wanna break you. You’re so pretty and you don’t feel well.” His hand caressed your cheek.

“I don’t care, wreck me.”

John’s whole demeanor changed as he roughly captured your lips with his, his hands groping around your body, holding on tightly.

“Look at ya, all needy for me.” John’s voice ran shivers up your spine as his breath tickled against your neck.

His lips left marks all over your neck as he began to rid you of your shirt. “Lemme see ya-“

“John-“ His eyes met yours as you began to breath quicker in anticipation. He looked at you as you nodded and he quickly left you without a shirt or bra.

His hands massaged your breasts as his mouth took home on one of your nipples, sucking and playing with it. His gums of satisfaction caused sparks through your nerves. You let out a few quiet moans, and at that he made it his job to bring more out of you.

He loved that sound and wanted to drink it in, hearing it over and over. You put your hand in his hair as he continue to give your breasts attention, but you needed him elsewhere. You took his wrist in your other hand as you let it to your center. “John, please.” You begged.

His eyes were blown out as he looked up at you, practically ripping your pants off as he took his stance between your legs, his face inches from you. “You’re soaked baby.” Two of his fingers dragged through your folds. “All ready for me aren’t you?”

Those two fingers pressed inside of you, moving around, feeling the way you felt. John let out a moan at the feeling, beginning to scissor his fingers to stretch you out. “Gotta make you comfortable baby.” His fingers then pumped in and out of you slowly as his mouth latched into your clit.

You let out an unholy moan at the pressure. “John!” His name kept leaving your lips along with strings of curses.

“You gonna cum for me doll?” His voice had a hint of teasing to it, having you coming undone so quickly. “Do it, cum around my fingers, all over my mouth.”

And you did. His beard was coated with a glaze as he sat up and began to undo his belt. “Come here sweet thing.”

His thumb guided your chin as you sat up, mouth open and ready for him. “Mmm, that’s a sight.”

“I love you John.” You said with doe eyes, staring up at him from the edge of your cot.

“You’re gonna really love me in a minute baby.” He pulled his boxers down and freed his hard cock, it springing free in front of your eyes.

You stared as he pulled his pants all the way down and discarded his shirt. His cock was large, but it was beautiful. It had a vein running up the bottom of it, curving up slightly and his pink tip was shiny with precum. You licked your lips as your left hand rested on his thigh, your right wrapping around his base.

You heard his breath hitch at the contact and you looked up at him as you took him in your mouth, then locking a stripe up the bottom of his cock. “Fuck baby, yes.”

His hand came to dig into your hair to guide you along him, you sucking and pumping him to absolute ecstasy.

His groans were music to your ears. You continued to keep eye contact as he began to take control little by little. You felt his hand gently push against the back of your head as you took him deeper and deeper into your throat.

You could tell he wanted to fuck your mouth. You pulled off of him with a pop and brought his face close to yours. “John honey?”

“Yes?”

“Do it.” John let out the most gorgeous moan at your words as he stood back to his full height and tightly held your hair. He shoved his dick all the way to the back of your throat, causing a small gag to come out of you.

He was singing your praises as he stayed there. “That’s it baby, relax for me.” He spoke slowly, calmly.

Continuing to take deep breaths, your nose was buried in his hips until he moved, and he moved quickly. His pace was reckless and you could feel a bruise forming at the back of your mouth from his tip abusing it. The sounds and grunts coming out of him were dirty and it made you wet thinking about how his cock would feel inside of you.

Your hands squeezed his thighs as you felt him begin to stutter. “Fuck.”

He grabbed your shoulders as he lifted you up and bent you over the small desk in your tent, quickly shoving himself deep in your pussy. “So fucking tight, mm.”

He paused for a second, breathing through teeth. “Fuck baby, relax a little.”

His thumb rubbed your lower back as he felt you become more comfortable with his size. He bummed as he began to move, slow at first.

He grunted as his arms crossed, hands grabbing your hips to reinforce himself as his hips began to quickly snap against your ass. You were a moaning mess as his balls stimulated your clit. “Fuck! Yes!”

“Who do you belong to?” He said it between grunts and the question caused you to moan in response. “Who’s. Are. You.”

“Yours! I’m all yours John!!” You we’re shouting, the pleasure he was giving you was out of this world.

You felt the coil in your stomach tightening as he continued to plow into you. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” You said, your legs beginning to shake.

“Cum for me darling.” A couple more thrusts and you were a mess under him, your hips were beginning to ache and your legs were jelly.

“I’m close.” He growled lowly, grunts pouring from his mouth as his hips moved sloppily. “In or out?”

You couldn’t even respond as he continued to wreck your insides. “Baby, I need to know.”

“In.”

John released as soon as the word left your mouth, filling you up. His pulled his cock out and quickly shoved two fingers in you, keeping his cum from leaking out. “Look at how pretty you look all fucked out.”

“John…” Your voice made him switch immediately, removing his fingers and swooping you up in his arms as he put you on your cot.

“I’ll be right back, I promise.” John kissed your forehead, leaving the tent.

You laid in the afterglow waiting for him to return, and when he did you began to tear up. He walked in with your favorite pajama pants and one of his hoodies and a towel.

He was dressed in his pajamas as well. He cleaned you up, helping you into the clothes he brought you. “I couldn’t come see my girl and not bring her something from home when I leave.”

He laid down behind you, your back against his chest as he pulled your hair into two braids, out of your face. “I really do love you John.”

“I love you too, and don’t let Snyder get to you. I will take care of it okay? You will be here resting as long as you need before you’re healthy again. I won’t let him mistreat you anymore. You’re my girl.”

You turned to look up at him as he planted a long kiss on your lips. “I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again.”

You kissed him again before settling in against his chest. “Thank you…”

“Always my love.”

[no-m4gic]

Hi! I'm the anom who asked for the autistic reader and I loved your writing! So may I request the same THH characters but with a reader who's try to be the sunshine in their lives (example: help Chihiro to be himself), but is secretly depressed and hide It from them cause reader doesn't want to seem fragile?

Sorry If Is complex XD thx!

i have limited free time so i know im probably never gonna complete (another) request(s) today. also i discovered i have no idea how to write for hifumi and yasuhiro, so i'm gonna blacklist them and replace them with mukuro. felt like this request seemed like a good prompt for nagito and also i feel like i could replace ishimaru's one with komaeda's as an apology.

sorry if you wanted the girls too, i'll get on them as soon as i finish my work- i didn't have enough time to write for them. i'll write for ishimaru, too. sorry for missing a lot of characters!

p.s thanks guys for your support !! i appreciate it sm <33

that's a long title 😨

the tags are such a PAIN

~ mod sitaya

THH CHARACTERS W/ AN S/O WHO IS THEIR SUNSHINE BUT IS SECRETLY DEPRESSED

BYAKUYA TOGAMI

"damnit s/o, why didn't you tell me earlier? you know i wouldn't judge you."

money = happiness to him, so he wouldn't fully understand your pain. he'll still support you though, if you need anything he'll send one of his workers to get it for you.

i mean if you were gone, yeah, he'd definitely be upset, so whenever he couldn't understand, he'll just imagine how he'll be like if you died or something.

he'll hire a personal therapist for you, unless you want him to be your therapist... which trust me, he is not good at.

bro can't even comfort anyone without making them cry more.

since he can't comfort someone psychologically, he'll comfort them physically, though he'll only show displays of affection at home or when you guys are alone, n e v e r in public.

honestly at this point, he won't give a shit if you stain his rich people clothes with your tears, he can buy the same new clothes again.

he's not that desperate, but can you imagine byakuya singing his s/o a lullaby?

not really, but he'll tuck you into bed himself personally if you fall asleep while sobbing your eyes out.

if you don't, he'll ask if you wanna fly out of japan for awhile, on his rich people private jet.

it's the least he could do to repay you for helping him during his dark times.

MAKOTO NAEGI

"s/o. how could you hide this from me? did you think i was going to criticize you...?"

he wouldn't ask the million questions running through his head first, he'd hold you first.

you come before anything.

he'll hold you for as long as you'd like, letting you cry in his shoulder while he rubs your back and pats your head.

since you helped him show the others he isn't an 'omega male' and also chased everyone who bullied him away, he'll return the favor.

he'll tell the teacher that you weren't feeling well and needed some time to rest in your room.

also he'll bring you your homework so you don't have to get it yourself and do tons of paperwork at once after coming back.

you don't need a therapist, you have naegi tell them as your therapist.

he'll listen to you go on for the entire day, and if you need to break down, you can jump into his arms and break down, using his shirt as a handkerchief.

MONDO OOWADA

"damnit... who did this s/o?!"

honestly he might just break down too.

but then he'll tell himself he's gotta be a man, with balls in front of his s/o.

he'll put his coat around you and hug you, telling you that it's alright and you can let everything out.

you can take that in any way.

he feels really guilty whenever he has to leave you for training or a competition.

but he'll always come back with a gift and your favorite takeout.

if you ever wanna cuddle, go find him. he'll be more than happy to have a reason to hold you.

daily compliments whenever you two meet up.

CHIHIRO FUJISAKI

"s/o, it's okay. you're not hopeless, you're filled with hope, you still have so much more potential,"

he'll offer to accompany you to do some activities to keep your mind distracted and also to cheer you up.

something maybe like styling your hair and making it look ridiculous by putting tons of bright, glittery accessories on your hair.

he'd ask if sharing his own insecurities would help, maybe just so you know he has other countless insecurities than just him fearing showing the others he's a guy.

if making your hair look worse than junko's didn't cheer you up, chihiro would make up some stupid games like hop like a bunny into mondo's room or sing one of sayaka's songs outside makoto's room while he's showering.

speaking of sayaka's songs, he'll blast all her upbeat pop songs in the room and you two can dance your heart out.

LEON KUWATA

"i figured. now come here i'm gonna cuddle your sadness away!"

leon would definitely try to remain positive

the only good side would be that he could skip his daily weekday baseball training, since y'know he likes hates baseball.

but no, really, he'd have NO idea on how to comfort someone properly.

he'd ask what he could do to make you feel better.

as well as bring you out to get ice cream.

while you guys are out you may or may not encounter celestia's cat wandering around aimlessly... and bring it back to leon's room.

obviously you guys return her, maybe style her a little, watch leon get scratched by her and so on.

overall at least you recovered quickly and now everyone can see you smile again <3

BONUS ;; NAGITO KOMAEDA

NAGITO KOMAEDA

"oh s/o. you didn't have to hide it from me, hopeless trash like me don't have the right to judge hopeful people like you,"

well now it was his turn to have his clothes stained with tears.

countless outfits of yours have been stained with his tears, because whenever you'd return late (which was always) he'd think you left him or something, and the closest thing he has to you are your clothes.

he's clingy.

and he'll become clingier.

everywhere you go he'll follow you like a lost puppy.

lost puppy literally. he won't just follow you, he'll beg for your attention.

anyway... back to you, once you even mention you were upset he'd pull you into a tight hug.

imagine how long that tight hug would be with depressed.

verrrrrry verrry long.

he'd wish he didn't have to let go of you.

and he wouldn't. you'd have to literally wait for him to fall asleep just to work your way out his arms.

he'll shower you in compliments and bless you with encouragements.

if you wanted he could ask gundham for a cat or dog or something, or he'd blackmail gundham just to "borrow" the four dark devas of destruction for like 10 minutes before giving them back even though nagito would lie and say they'd forever be gone.

you want, he buy. literally, you just have to say "i want this" and you'll have it.

no more despair only hope.

IM SORRY ITS MISSING SO MANY CHARACTERS ANON 😭

[featheryminx]

hate post under the cut! this is so petty and purely a form of stress relief bc it’s finals season and i need some unserious venting. do not engage if ur a fan of buckt*mmy :) thanks

truly i have no words for this one. Girl what do you mean That Ship brought you so much joy you started watching 911 for them, and then stopped when they broke up? this isn’t like that egregious by their standards it just. it just boggles the brain.

why the fuck would chris meddle in this? these are grown ass men and he is a teenager who has a whole world of other problems, be serious. I also love how Those Shippers are so adamant that buck isn’t like that important or intertwined with Chris, up until they can use Chris as a plot point for their (bad) ship

okay so first of all—the 118 were never his friends. Like we gotta get that straight. He (can’t even say That Man bc that’s too ace attorney coded LOL) literally made chim & hens professional lives like, miserable? He was an active proponent of discomfort and harm and you think that the 118 is supposed to be on his side ever? no.

also like between Buck and Him, the 118 would never ever choose him. Like what the fuck does OP mean “the breakup has proven they aren’t his friends” as if there was something to disprove? There was no evidence suggesting that the 118 were his friends for that guy to even feel betrayed by. They just did not give a fuck about him.

you’re just making him italian to give him a cute plot point italian grandma? Talk about making him more and more eddie coded… like we already have Abuela we don’t need another grandma who speaks a diff language and has cute little names for buck. like this is literally just ripping off of eddies character bc you have nothing better to give this cardboard man who is Eddie Lite in every other way as well. (sorry to OP not a dig on your actual writing, it’s just the eddie-ification of your blorbo that bothers me)

WHAT IS YOU BITCHES OBSESSION WITH SAL? IF IM REMEMBERING CORRECTLY SAL WAS ALSO A WEIRD RACIST FREAK! are you weird and racist? is that why you’re obsessed with weird racists? grow up.

GET BUCKS NAME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH how dare you suggest that a song could apply to buck & temu and also sal/temu? gross. ALSO see above for my criticism of sal & temu obsessed weirdos.

so you think a racist, disrespectful clown is easier to stomach than someone having safe, sane, consensual sex? Like let me remind you—Temu was ridiculously paternalistic towards Buck all the time, and never respected him (first date, the way he talked about him to hen and karen) and is also canonically racist and misogynistic and also apparently has no remorse over the way he treated his beard or no respect for her as a human… and you think THAT is easier to stomach than a guy having casual sex? shows where your priorities lie.

GET MY GIRLS OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. he was so dismissive of their concerns in that deleted scene and u want more of those interactions? no baby. absolutely not.

el em ef ay oh. that’s all.

why the FUCK would he be involved, bffr. like practically, we know this is an athena plot. and also. DING DONG THE WITCH IS FUCKING DEAD and he’s not coming back. cope. seethe.

ugh i can’t add more images? okay i’ll just transcribe the post it’s short. basically it’s a snippet of a scene where Temu says “I’ve got your back”, because of course they have nothing better to do than steal from the buddie dynamic. like. that’s just embarassing.

[fire-lizard-ro]

Helloo hehehe im the one that asked for a columbina s/o~ it was really good :D

Can u maybe make some head cannon about them being in a relationship? Hehhe it you dont mind :) thats all ty <33

Hehehe ofc!!! I'd like to make the disclaimer again that I don't really know the character Columbina all that well, but I will try my best!!! So sorry for any mischaracterization. Thank you for sending in your ask~

Reader gender: gender neutral

Like we talked about before, you and Sunday would be partners in crime. The manipulative duo.

I think that the two of you would probably enjoy dates like going to the opera. When the singer is good it wasn't uncommon to find the two of you with eyes closed, you leaning against him, enjoying the sweet melodies of the songs. When it wasn't so great, the two of you would be whispering your criticism in each other's ears with giggles.

Sunday would like hearing you sing more, though. Even if it is just a sweet little humming under your breath as you two are settled down together to read together or perhaps do other things within each other's presence. He is, however, more than aware of the abilities you have. They impress him every time and to know that you could always control him but don't makes his heart swell with affection. A chaste, but no less full of passion than any other kiss, would be pressed to your lips. "Thank you, dove." (I've started to use "dove" as his nickname for the reader recently- It just makes sense to me.) Whether he's thanking you for the song or for not trying to put him under your control with you voice, you'll never know. He just gives you that smile of his.

It was always a treat to hear his voice as well. He's not nearly as inclined to it as you or even his sister. You and her get along quite well, I'd think. Especially since she doesn't really know about the manipulative tendencies you and your lover have. Some things are better not knowing, hm? In any case- If you asked, he would sing something for you. The songs are always gentle and slow. If it was upon your request that he is singing, he's likely to sing a love song of some sort- It's funny. Almost like a pretty bird courting his love with a song despite them already being his.

And like I'd forgotten to write last time:

When the two of you kiss, your wings often bump into each other so cute oml-

The first time it happens, it startled a chuckle out of the normally composed man. He'd lean in again to kiss you once more, this time pursposefully caressing your wings with his while he holds you close.

When he'd managed to figure out that you and he were one in the same, he slowly brought you in on his schemes and work. After asking you outright about it once he was certain of it, he'd have you help him with his... persuations. You would subtly be humming to yourself whilst he spoke with people, influencing them to sway to his side. His ideas and thoughts suddenly sound perfect to them. On a larger scale- When he'd host dinner parties as a leader of Penacony with the elite, you would act as the entertainment for the night. You would sing for them as they mingled, slowly beginning to take control of them. But once the main act was upon you, you singing your final song of the night, it was then that you would use your power the most that night (not fully, but more than before). And just like that. They were again ensnared and ready for his use. He'd plant ideas and thoughts in their minds while under your control.

And as everyone would leave for the night, h'd wrap an arm around your waist and kiss your temple. "You did amazing tonight, my love. Let's celebrate, hm?" He'd say this in a low voice before leading you back into the house for a glass of wine or whatever else tickled your fancy.

Sorry there isn't more... OTL

It's a bit hard to write for me, haha. Hope you liked it! Feel free to send in another request if you'd like~

[vasito-de-leche]

A short (or not) ramble of scenarios and questions for reverse: 1999 self aware. (sorry if this bothers you, I just don’t have enough confidence to post it on my own blog (plus I love your content))

- Okay so first of all, in the main page of the game, when you click on the upper left corner with your level and username, you go to a screen with Vertin looking fly as ever along with some user information.

So if Vertin can see the game’s ui, then she can see the year in which the player has joined the game (2023-2024). I haven’t dived deep into Vertin’s character so I can’t portray her reaction to much, but I feel like she would tell this info to someone close like Sonetto.

Also our motto: I put “When in a rush, say ‘runs in high heels cutely.’”. I’d be so embarrassed if anyone (even fictional sentient characters) saw that. Like im dead.

On that topic, when you mentioned in your Sonetto self aware post that she can sometimes see us, and honestly, I’d be even more embarrassed. Cause like, if any of the characters from games I played, were sentient and could see me, id pray they didn’t see my bad angle. Like imagine looking up to the sky to see, just for a second, the chin of a head as the hands go to scratch their nose. Like the first impressions I would make.

- P2p players. Imagine the player spending money on the game (at the risk of Vertin possibly seeing their credit card number) to help level up or get costumes for their fave characters.

(Some misc. questions)

-what would happen if player didn’t log in the game for a while (a week to a month as best) cause I would ditch some games to spend more time on others

- What does Vertin think of the mail messages that the player gets? Like the latest mail I got was the discord event invitation. Upon closer inspection and critical thinking, it would hint that there would be more players other than us because it says the winners get 60 clear drops (oh and money too)

- If I remember correctly, I think you mentioned about Vertin hearing the player sometimes. So imagine her hearing us trash talk certain character *cough* Constantine *cough*.

(Anyways, I love your content ❤️ especially your fmn headcanons, can’t wait to see more posts!!)

;R1999 - Self-Aware AU (2)

Answering some questions and discussing the Self-Aware AU. A follow up of this post.

not a bother at all, you bring up really good questions and details that are fun to explore! I'm glad you like my stuff, have a nice day o7!

On the subject of Vertin seeing the player's profile.

With the way I intended to portray Vertin within the AU, I don't think she would be affected by the date on the Player's profile!

This is the date you came into contact with her from your perspective, whatever time and space that flows within your world, not hers─the world behind the fourth barrier that she cannot see nor hear nor even fathom, let alone try to make sense of. In a way, it's like expecting ants to care about concepts we made up, such as time. They understand night and day, they do not understand 3PM nor 8AM.

Is it truly proof that time can go beyond 1999, when this is something that only she can see? When it doesn't affect a single thing within her universe by being part of a game menu meant for your eyes only? There's also the fact that she finds out the proper time of the world in the 1.4 update, in Chapter 05.

Her dynamic with the Player is something I like to keep vague, so that everyone can fill in the blanks, but ultimately it is something so complex and private for Vertin─who sees it as a one-sided relationship, since she cannot hear nor see you, unlike other arcanists who may reach the 100% bond─that I don't think she would talk about it with anyone, not even Sonetto! The name on your profile and whatever message you've written there are secrets she will take to her grave. The idea of Vertin being the eyes and hands of the Player, but having no way to truly see or hear them makes for a really fun concept to explore!

And on the subject of messages, let's be honest, if you've written something funny or some modern shitpost, chances are she won't understand it LMFAO so it's okay! I literally just have my socials and "men enjoyer" listed there.

Oh! But since you brought it up, the message section could be a fun, little way to communicate with Vertin, since she can read what's on there!

As for P2P players, Vertin wouldn't see any information from the Player's credit card since that's something that happens outside the app lolol. Like, to me, it directly opens to google play transaction stuff.

On the subject of the player dropping the game for long periods of time.

Hmm, in the first post I said that there might be characters ouside Vertin and her suitcase who may be self-aware, with their own goals and such. But nothing truly "matters" unless the Player is there to witness it. So to keep including these possibilities and details, I feel like there's two options, pick whichever you like the most!

One, time continues as usual within the game─but once it reaches an important date where the plot is meant to kick in with some important event, it simply resets back to where you left it. This is a world that exists outside of your perception, but cannot continue without you.

Two, time freezes entirely within the game─but only for those who are not self-aware. Keep in mind we're talking about long periods of time, this wouldn't happen if you log in every day, or every few days. This is what happens when your phone picks up the fact that Reverse: 1999 is one of the unused apps taking up space in your phone. This is a world that stops existing once you stop looking at it.

In both options, the Wilderness would remain unaffected as it seems to be entirely disconnected from the flow of time and space outside of it.

On the subject of the game's mail.

Since the messages auto-delete and all, I can't check but I'm pretty sure Vertin receives mail too? There were a few ones from a few characters a while back like Druvis III or An-an Lee, and I think the implication is that they were vaguely addressing Vertin?

If someone has screenshots and can confirm this, please let me know!

Either way, the easy answer is that yeah, she knows this is a game, so she could make the assumption that there's more players. She has access to your friend list, after all! And even if you don't have anyone added, the fact that it exists is enough for her to start connecting the dots.

I don't remember saying that Vertin can hear the Player, though! I think I was pretty consistent with her not being able to see nor hear you, to have the Player as some sort of eldritch, unknowable entity. But I also write so much stuff in this blog that it's hard to keep up sometimes lolol, if I've mentioned somewhere that Vertin can hear the player, it was a mistake!

[eightsixtiism]

https://www.tumblr.com/eightsixtiism/767309836702646272/its-honestly-so-dumb-that-the-only-evidence-that

adding onto this, people act as if lando has always disrespected max, or used max in some ways or the other.

they’ve known each other since 2012-2013, so clearly they have a lot of respect for each other (or at least, lando does). max is in the top 3 friends list for lando, and verstannies just conveniently forget that because they don’t like him. i don’t understand why they don’t like him, honestly, because i don’t think lando has ever done outwardly disrespectful to max. the simply love was not a dig, but banter between friends who have known each other for a decade. max did not “claim his catchphrase” again in brazil. it was something he said. so fucking what. yknow, i want lando to “claim” the simply lovely in lv. if that’s disrespect according to verstannies, then idk what they classify max’s behaviour as that, because his behaviour is way worse than anything lando has ever done. in a mental health charity stream, making fun of two of the biggest mental health advocates in f1 (lando and george) was disrespectful. making racist comments, making a joke out of child abuse, those things are disrespectful. in comparison, lando’s barely been disrespectful (as far as i know), and im not saying that to baby him, but because out of every interview, every interaction i’ve seen on media, this is the truth that i’ve seen, despite asshole journalists trying to change the narrative for more engagement.

hell, if lando’s ever been properly disrespectful (like after hungary with lewis), i’ll take full fucking responsibility as a lando fan. but, i need more than one example as compared to max’s list.

apparently, i have a lot to say on this, im sorry.

don't even apologise, because they really over exaggerate lando's behaviour when max is way way worse, and they'll still stand beside that man through anything.

i meant that reclaiming thing as a (half) joke, meant to stay in the lando tag, but now that max fan's are coming at me like a force, idec anymore. let lando do whatever, and if it's by saying max's phrase, or something of the sort, then so be it. i'm actually so fucking tired with max fans thinking that just because their driver got handed championships riddled with corruption/controversy, that suddenly every criticism against him is unjustified and disrespectful. cry me a river

[superm4ks]

Someone needs to write the jhonny herbert x max verstappen enemies to lovers fic... I'm sorry

Literally closest I can get to ur ask I swear but ummm heres a deep dive into herb/max and stewarding in general ig dont u be sorry Im the 1 whos gotta beg ur forgiveness for this because nobody cares u definitely wanted none of this and yet. Heres some chronological quotes some opinions and a lil bit of history and idk love u

Bolded segments just mean that I personally find his wording kinda telling or relevant

"What surprised me was when Max had to let Lewis by he moved over on to the sand, off the racing line. (...) He should have forced Lewis to go on the dirt to pass. That’s what I would have done." - JH on a column for Motorsport Magazine in June, 2021

“I think there is an element that Lewis with experience, that he knows when to pull out, but I love Max, I love what he does on the racetrack, I love what he does behind the wheel. These situations are going to happen. Lewis has done it in the past as well. So it is really going to be down to when you pick your moments to say it is not worth the risk. Maybe it was an over-ambitious move but it had to be made. Max was fully committed, perhaps he should have braked or backed out of the throttle but I doubt there was time, and he wanted the pass." - JH post the Monza 2021 crash.

"I think it just shows what Max is willing to do to try and win this World Championship. (...) Although I love Max because of what he does on the race track, I agree with Lewis, he does really push the limits and sometimes he pushes it too much." - JH to Sky in 2021 after Jeddah 2021.

“You’ve got to be selfish, I think, in any sport in many respects to get the best out of yourself, give yourself those race-winning chances and, of course, championships. That’s why he’s a two-time World Champion. Selfishness is something we’ve seen with Fernando Alonso and Michael Schumacher, Ayrton Senna, Alain Prost, the list goes on. So seeing that sort of situation was a bit of a bad taste in your mouth, but you sort of understand it as a sportsman and a Formula 1 driver.” - JH post Brazil 2022 when Max did not let Checo thru despite team orders.

"He’s got the aggressive style that comes with it and there was always a thing, I remember going back to Senna, many people used to gasp when they saw Senna’s helmet in their mirrors and Max has generated a similar thing that when it’s Max behind you, there is sort of a little bit of attention has to be paid for the overtake that you know is going to be coming your way. But that’s part and parcel of what racing is all about. It’s the mind games that come into play at the same time, that’s something he is very, very strong on. (...) I thoroughly enjoy what I see. I was a little bit critical when he kept having his coming togethers with Lewis, for example, and that’s one part of it where I’m like, 'Just do it pure. You’re so, so good at what you do, just do it in a pure, clean way and just show us why you are the best’. He does that, but he has that slightly aggressive style but it actually makes it entertaining as well and he won’t stop doing it, which is great and he shouldn’t stop doing it because I think we all love what he does. - JH to SI in 2023

"I think he's already there as one of the best we've seen. (...) I think with Max to me there is a wow factor. Whatever you think of Max with his elbows out type of racing, that's part of racing to be honest. It's not my style but that really doesn't matter. Because what he actually does with a racing car sometimes is pretty unbelievable. (...) Max will become better than Lewis Hamilton, Lewis was better than Michael Schumacher and Schumacher was better than Senna. It just evolves. - JH in 2023

"It is deliberate which is why I use the word intimidation where he goes to the very limits without getting himself in trouble. But he has always had this in his history. (...) He is a hard racer. He is very, very hard to beat. He intimidates everybody. That intimidation is something that Lewis, Schumacher, and Senna, have always done. I like competition because I think it is a very important part of racing. But I sometimes don’t like it when he gets to the point that you are actually forcing a car off the circuit. That is not what it is all about. It is about placing the car. He does place the car very well, but he just has that tendency to put everyone else in a position which goes beyond the drivers’ unwritten code. That is what we saw in Austria. (...) Will it change his mindset? Probably not. No driver before, like Michael Schumacher, never changed their approach. And I don’t want him to. I find it really exciting. It is just when he gets to that point, he can only blame him. It was very clear to everyone, he would not change his stripes. - JH on Austria 2024 10 sec pen vs Lando

"That showed Max’s rebellious streak. I love that side of him, it is what makes Max, Max, his honest and outspoken character." - JH after giving Max community service for swearing and Max held his own press conference post Singapore 2024

"He’s very worldly. He’s very open to chat about anything and you have a really nice conversation with him. So he was very understanding. He did his outside press conference himself and everything else but that’s good, because that’s part of the character, and the character is something we don’t want to lose. That’s Max. If he was here today, you’d have a bloody good chat with him." - JH post the 20 second penalty in Mexico 2024

Heres an opinion piece from 2021 titled 'Written rules for racing shouldn't exist' — Johnny Herbert. His whole chest honey. Just a taste but pls read the whole thing

Written rules for racing shouldn’t exist, because aggression is part of it and always has been. (...) There’s another word: intimidation. You get drivers who have a persona for being extreme in this regard – but what’s wrong with it? (...) But rules for racing is simply not what it should be about. I know Formula 1 has a driver steward, in this case Derek Warwick who has normally been good at allowing racing to happen, [AN: LMFAOOOO iykyk] and I’ve been the driver steward in the past too. (...) Consistency from corner to corner is also difficult. Remember Turn 3 with Charles and Max in 2019, when Max dived down the inside, took the line and that forced Charles to run wide? That was deemed okay and Max won the race. Very clever from Max. Did he delay steering right a little? Probably. Did he lean on him on the exit? Yes. Good racing. But at Turn 4, it’s a penalty. (...) I feel a reset is required and the drivers have to be involved. I’d get rid of rules for racing and ask drivers if it is acceptable or not. Let them race and sort it out between them. If they go off the track taking the outside line, that was the risk they took. 

Ok I've gone on unhinged rants about herb before I'll try to like take him more seriously here and try to really understand tf his deal is. Lets inspect the initial quotes for a sec.

Theres common elements over the years. Relentless comparisons to other aggressive drivers 'of a different time' ((two in particular)) the word 'intimidation', the acknowledgement of skill, the idealization of 'old school' racing as what Max is able to produce and like a lil bit of an idealization of Max himself. Like . Like me. Like a verstappie. Like 'Max is Max' type of shit we do yk, but whereas somebody like T Krav wud be a lil venomous in tone Herbert is like kicking his feet and giggling but also while holding a sniper rifle aimed directly at Maxs head.

So the whole Max Vershmacher thing. Lets kick that door right open ok. Johnny Herbert was Schumachers teammate and he didnt have a good time. Hes talked about it a lot, how tough it was to always be outpaced, outranked, to feel like he didnt have the team like Michael had the team, like he never got a real shot, even tho he recognizes realistically he wud have lost anyway. ((I'm not saying I believe everything he says, but Im not gonna invalidate how he felt)) So when he compares Max wid Schumacher, hes not just like comparing Max to somebody he raced against, but to a teammate he lost to. Badly. He knows how Michael operates, how Michael drives, those 'mind games', that 'intimidation', those were things he cud not replicate. Where Michael thrived, and continued to thrive wid the people he then took to Ferrari, Herbert failed. Michael created an environment where his 'over-aggression', his 'tactics', his 'selfishness', built him up as 1 of the best of all time, and Max is doing the same, in a completely different formula 1, under a different rule book, in different cars, against a different grid. So while Herbert recognizes Max's craft is ruthless, but intelligent, and precious, hes fed up wid that shit lmfao. No bitch hes HAD it wid some guy wid an weird accent and a temper and a team under his thumb being a cunt on track because he knows how the game is played and he knows how to throw his dice first.

Now Herbert is in a room where he actually has power over him. He can ask Max to battle in a 'pure' way, like he did in that Sports Illustrated interview, as if an actual battle for a world title between 2 machines wid significant pace difference between them can or shud be anything remotely close to 'pure'. Because when people saw Sennas helmet in their mirrors and raced him different that was iconic, the mark of a true racer, real racing, like Herbert said, but wid Max, now, when he defends not just his position, but his title, his name, its profane, its not allowed, and he needs to repent for it. He needs to be punished. Worst part of this to me is that Herbert kinda knows he can do shit like he did in Mexico because Max wont be affected by it. Max wont change. Michael never changed.

A lil bit of history because this is my house. Former drivers only began acting as stewards in 2010. Jean Todt did it as an experiment in response to criticism about 'inconsistency'. 😐😐😐😐 Girl I know just let me remind u they didnt have the halo until 2018. Ok

Until 2010 sometimes u had a whole panel of stewards without any driving experience, and theres plenty u can google about controversial stewarding calls during that time. Herbert was one of the first f1 drivers to act as a steward. So was Prost, and Mansell. Cool. Now lets do a simple exercise. Damon Hill was appointed a steward while Schumi was still driving. Do u think there was anything inconsistent or even perhaps .. controversial about any of those races. Just an example. Ur nodding. We're all nodding

Obvi having actual drivers weight in on decisions regarding motor racing is step forward, wanna make that clear. But these men's contribution to the panel is affected by whatvr the fuck happened during their time as racing drivers, is influenced by their own perception of the racers in question, or the track, or their literal subjective interpretation of the Driving Standard Guidelines. Lets not even get into these Guidelines bro I've called Max an old testament god but literally bar for BAR the bitch is in there

Theres no magical solution for somebody like Herbert and how he behaves when it comes to Max, except maybe holding his hand when hes about to put 20 seconds on dudes head for a 2nd penalty that shud be 5 and being like hey. U just gave him community service for saying a bad word. Have u eaten today, some water, lets go outside. People will point to other stewards and be like but they're biased too, and its like, yuh, thats part of the game. Thats part of F1. All of this shit is bananas AND F1.

Herberts lastest compliment to Max which came attached to a bunch of other damage control was 'worldly'. He has called Max clever, smart, rebellious, exciting, dangerous, intimidating, selfish, and Max. Just Max. 'Max is Max', somebody else said, and that was enough because he understood. That person was Max's teammate once. Maybe Herbert also understands, because of his former teammate. His teammate's name is enough too.

The whole community service thing, this latest penalty, the frankly shocking things he said about how he saw Austria. Maybe this was some form of retaliation for COTA, maybe it was just normal Herbert escalation. He wants Max tamed. He wants Max gentled, mostly because he knows, again, he has said this, multiple times, that its futile to try. U want a herbert/max f1c I'll give u that. A 60 year old mans constant and relentless attempts to stifle a 20 something year old he cant control because it means he gets to c him remain defiant. Herb gets to c him walk into the one room that he controls, and remain uncontrollable. Maybe he will refuse to answer questions and hold his own presser outside, but thats part of his character and the character is something we dont want to lose. Not again.

[therantsofawriterrr]

The Umbrella Academy Final Season: My Version.

Part One: We Also See Each Other At Birthday Parties

Overview: After getting back to a normal world with no powers, we see the Hargreeves trying to adjust to normal lives which somehow seems a lot harder to navigate. TW: uhh, emo discussions and stuff, mature language, sad people overall, some storyline changes because I'm writing it as the characters are playing it in my head, also long ass fic, I'm sorry. Pairings: Luther×Sloane, Diego×Lila, Allison×Raymond, Klaus×Dave, Five×OC, Ben×Jennifer A/N: Sooo, the fourth season made me want to forget it. Like I was literally thinking that I wanted Sir Reggie to use his memory-erase thing on me. This is for me and many others who wanted to see a happy ending, so uhh, here goes. I'm sorry if any of my imagination goes against fan canon, just think of them of my own hcs. also, im kind of using this to practice third person omniscient, so constructive criticism is appreciated. Btw, THIS HAS SPOILERS (potentially) because I'm also using some of the scenes from the season, stuff that I liked and all that. So, here goes ig.

Masterlist

What happens when you put seven superheroes into a normal world and strip them of their powers? It's an interesting question, a loaded question to be precise.

Well, that's what has happened now, with the Hargreeves siblings living their respective lives, trying to deal with the fact that they just had to live without their powers. They felt good about it, yes, but in some ways, it also posed a few difficulties.

Six years later, they were pretty well-adjusted. Or so it seemed.

Let's go to Number One, shall we? Luther Hargreeves, the self-proclaimed peacemaker of the family. At the moment, Luther was snoring in bed, drooling onto the sheets as he dreamed of a different life. A life with his wife, Sloane. A white picket fence, two dogs, and maybe even kids? But then, the scene changed. The kugelblitz appeared, taking his wife and world away, waking him up in a frenzy.

As soon as he did, he sat up, reaching out for her instinctively, only to find nothing but cold sheets. Tears started welling up in his eyes as a lump lodged itself in his throat, his hands going up to his face and his shoulders started shaking as he sobbed. This was pretty much like a morning routine, wake up, cry because of overwhelming grief, then get up and have some coffee.

The goofball of the family had turned into a depressed lover looking for his lost love.

As for Number Two, Diego Hargreeves and his wife, Lila Hargreeves, were quite literally living Luther's dream, with three kids and a wonderful house. But, suddenly going from crime-fighting and assassinations to dealing with kids, in-laws, a shitty boss, and the housewife life would be hard for anyone, don't you think?

Every day, Diego went out to work as a mailman, trying to get the mail to their owners with perfect precision. But, he failed, for his power was the reason for his perfect aim. And every single time, he felt insecure about himself. Now, he could get out of the truck and just deliver mail like a normal person, but then, this is Diego we're talking about.

Lila, on the other hand, has book club every other week. What the family didn't know, is that there is no book

They were a cute family, but they did need to talk to each other about some things.

Number Three, Allison Hargreeves was living with her husband and daughter, Raymond Chestnut and Claire Hargreeves Chestnut. While Raymond was happy living in a world where racism was a lot less than before and worked in a 9-5 job, Allison was struggling as an actor, trying to make time for family and land a good role. She also didn't really talk to the family except Klaus because she was afraid that they wouldn't want her, but she did regret her actions and felt lonely in that aspect of life.

Number Four was Klaus Hargreeves, the weirdest out of the group. It's those weird antics that also made him the most adorable in the group. Granted, he was a bit of a faint heart now that his immortality was gone, but the vibes were still there. But there was still the fact that he was three years sober, a fact that enabled him to wake up every morning with pride. Staying in Allison's basement, he had bubble-wrapped whatever surface he could, but being in charge of taking care of Claire finally made him feel useful in a way, so in short, he didn't really have any complaints.

And now, with his favourite brother Benerino coming out of jail, he could finally make him realise that he has a family as well!

Number Five, who was fine with being called Five, was working in the CIA, mainly investigating a cult that dealt with memories of another timeline. He used to dress up as a man named Jerome, putting on a fake mustache and a generic outfit to fit in. He clocked in early and left late, making people think that he was just another workaholic who didn't have anything to do at home.

But, there was a different reason. A reason that he wouldn't even tell his family. The PTSD of the previous many years, that he'd decided to ignore had finally started getting to him. He couldn't sleep without having nightmares of another apocalypse. The only way he could sleep without dreams was if he tired himself out to the point of passing out. Which is what he did.

Number Six, Ben Hargreeves was getting out of jail for being embroiled in a crypto scam. Granted, he had pretty much scammed too many people into losing too much money, but then why do people get involved in these markets if they don't keep in mind that it's risky? He could never understand people, really.

Now that he was out, he was free again, and he already had a plan to get away from the family once and for all. He didn't think he deserved to stay in a family full of love.

And finally there was Number Seven. Viktor Hargreeves, who was pretty much the strongest out of the group. But now, he just saw himself as an emo fuck-up who couldn't have a proper relationship, neither with his family nor with his partners. Building a life for himself in Nova Scotia had been hard, getting his bar business to take off had been harder, but what was hardest, was to actually commit to a person.

But then, could anybody blame him? He had lost too many people that he loved. There was Sissy, there was Harlan and there was the whole thing with Harold Jenkins. He was starting to think he needed to stay single for a while so that he could process his feelings and then put himself out there again.

But, even though they would do anything else, they did think that they needed to be there for Diego's first daughter, Grace's birthday party. So there they were, with smiles pasted on their faces in an arcade, where the children screamed while Diego and Lila yelled at each other.

"Diego! What are you doing?" She yelled into his ear, making him cringe.

"Getting the cake ready!" He yelled back.

"Piñata before cake! Go hang it!"

Diego went ahead and hung the fake horse with all the love he could muster and more. Though, Lila couldn't help but stare at him as he did, wondering how he knew that she had forgotten the piñata. She had called Diego up at the last moment in a panic, telling him about how she forgot to buy the West End one, and instead bought the East End one. Diego had just assured her and told her to breathe, telling her he'd handle it. He'd shown up with a vibrant horse, pretty much like the one she'd bought, but still different.

"What the hell are we going to do with two piñatas?" she'd asked, starting to panic again.

"We'll give the other one to Luther, babe. We both know he needs to get some of that anger out. Don't worry too much."

Diego stalked over to Luther carefully, handing him a bottle of beer and leaning back against the bar of some game, children shrieking with happiness.

"Hey, big guy," he said, internally wincing at Luther's answering grunt. "Where have you been these days? It's been what, a month since you'd called?"

"Just been busy," he said, taking a swig of the beer. They both knew how he'd been busy, but neither had the will nor the strength to discuss it. Diego missed him, but he sort of understood where he was coming from. He knew he'd go crazy if it had been Lila who had gotten lost after everything. He was pretty sure he would have been the reason for the world ending a fourth time.

Whereas Luther was mentally checking the wool-stringed map hanging in his house again and again in his mind, trying to figure out just where Sloane could be. He was hell-bent on finding her, to have the happy ending that they both deserved. He couldn't bear the thought of him living on while she died.

Elsewhere, Klaus had just entered the place with Claire and Raymond, with gloves on his hand and every other precaution he could think of.

"It's just a kid's party, Klaus. What's the worst that could happen here?"

"Oh, too many things. You of all people should know how dirty children can get, Raymond," he drawled in the typical Klaus fashion. Raymond only chuckled, shaking his head as Klaus cooed in excitement at the various candy stalls and selfie booths that were placed around the place. He had definitely been a weird addition to the family three years prior, but also an adorable one. His quirks made the house livelier for sure.

Allison, on the other hand, was sitting in her car, with her white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel. She was trying to convince herself to start the fucking car, to get home and practice her lines, but her eyes kept flitting to the rearview mirror, where the neon sign was glowing brightly. A sudden knock made her jump in her seat, and she turned to see Viktor, who she thought would be the last person to approach her.

She rolled the tinted window down to meet Viktor's cold but warm eyes.

"You aren't coming in?" He asked, voice frosty, but with a tinge of sadness in it.

"No, not really," Allison said, guiltiness lacing her voice. "I probably shouldn't ruin the party."

"Grace is your niece, too, you know," he said, looking at her firmly. "It's her birthday, and she deserves to see her aunt. Plus, the others care about her just as much you and I do, so they won't make a fuss."

Immediately, when she entered the place, she regretted it. Because while Diego and Lila were a bit warm towards her, Luther's gaze turned stony before he turned away. She wanted to run away and hide, but Raymond's comforting hand in hers gave her a little strength.

On the other side of the room, Ben was talking to Five, the one Umbrella sibling that he could tolerate to some extent.

"What was it, again? Ponzi scheme? White-collar fraud?" Five asked him with a smirk.

"Crypto exchange. Web 3.0, baby. Feds only went after because I'm an outsider. A fucking maverick like Elon.

"Well, that and you bankrupted a 100,000 people."

"The whole thing was like a witch hunt. I think I'm just gonna stay home now that I'm out."

"Yeah, well, say what you will," Five said with a small appreciative smile. "It's still good to have you back."

Klaus seemed to spawn beside them suddenly, putting an arm around Ben's shoulders. "Hello, Benjamin."

"Get your hand off of me, I don't know where it's been," he said with irritation lacing his voice, but Klaus was unconvinced. Even if he wasn't their Ben, he was Ben, and there was no one else that knew him better.

The party went on with the same vibes; somehow, it was the only Hargreeves party that's been normal. Usually, it ended up getting very chaotic and weird.

But then, all of them knew that they actually had fun in those parties.

Another A/N: I originally planned for this to have ten chapters, but nvm every chapter will get too long, so ig we'll just see how many parts this thing will have. Likes, reblogs and feedback is highly appreciated, please tell me if the transition from one character to other was too confusing or hard to process, I do that sometimes. Also, I do have a lot of changes, according to what I've seen on the tua tag, so I'll try to make stuff up too haha. Anyway, tell me if y'all like this or not, and tysm for reading