#lets file this one under: i have too much time to think

[witchexia]

NEW!(not included in my other headcanons) Dr. Simon Glass headcanons!

Maverick (his therapy duck!) is anomalous!

He likes to keep these marimo moss balls as 'pets' in his office (and before you ask YES he does care about them and his plants and flowers!!!!!)

oh SPEAKING OF PLANTS AND FLOWERS, i think he would have lavenders, monsteras, succulents, parlor palms in his office, but incase he knows he's too busy, sometimes he gets one of his coworkers to water them for him!

a LOT of people mentioned this headcanon but I AGREE SO MUCH, but he has a HUGE sweet tooth ! he has to stop himself from taking too much of the candy from the snack bowl he has in his office Ahihihi

also this IS canon but he keeps snacks under his desk ! i made it so he has a bowl of them ON the desk but he has backup bags under his desk, so when the snacks run out from the bowl he can simply refill it!

He ALWAYS shaves his facial hair, he got it from his military days (in the military, your face MUST be clean shaven - exceptions being mustaches and religious reasons, skin conditions etc - and he cannot get off of the habit of not letting ANY facial hair show haha

When he's alone in his office, he likes to listen to stuff like Michael Jackson or Jack Stauber while tidying up his office and playing with Maverick

He strategizes what he wears so he could be like a walking huge cuddly teddy bear (he wears warm, comfy clothes ! what he wears in summer is a new story LOL)

not sure if i mentioned this in my previous headcanons BUT he teaches his patients how to do origamis as a calming method, and he has a little cup FULL of origamis HE made !

About how he types texts, I headcanon that he switches from capitalizing his sentences to NOT doing it at all, sometimes it just depends! like- he capitalizes his sentences in VERY important text/email conversations, and he doesn't when he's texting his coworkers or patients!

If he overhears ANYONE talking about wanting to have a job in the whole psychology field, he gets REALLY excited and is TOTALLY willing to help them/offer them a role!!

another somewhat canon one, BUTTTTTTTTTTT he has access to EVERY Safe, Euclid humanoid SCP file, and a big amount of Keter files! He's spoken to almost everyone, so of COURSE everyone likes him!

On some days, he does his work in the cafeteria! You may find him there in the earlier hours in the morning or lunchtime!

Another headcanon i REALLY like, BUT he LOVES light blue - light yellow things ! he gets VERY happy when his patients bring him little trinkets with that color scheme!

a little obvious, but his fashion aesthetic is Light Academia !

IF he EVER has the time, he goes to visit a local pond to feed the ducks there fruits!

In the situations where one of his coworkers/patients are having a birthday, he COMPLETELY makes sure they feel loved and important ! He gives them fun little origami trinkets and stuff !

I feel like his patients EASILY get him to watch stuff, like for example: one of his patients talks about a popular series/movie like squid game, Simon checks it out, instantly likes it AND SO ON ! (i took inspo from someone elses headcanon for this one!)

ANOTHER somewhat canon? HEADCANON, but he's like a MAGNET for animals! if he goes out to a public park, you BET he will be surrounded by pigeons!

he LOVES card games like uno! and hes ALWAYS up for a card game with a patient/coworker! lol imagine beating your therapist in uno HAHA

(lmk if some of these headcanons are repeated from my other hcs! i forget things VERY easily and i thought of some of these on the spot ! i HAVE talked about these to some people!)

[cellsshapedlikestars]

while bridgerton is classic regency romance, i’m also really partial to mary balogh. her westcott, bedwyn, and survivor’s club series are all really good

I'll admit, I've only read one Bridgerton book. I mostly liked it until the end when she tried to deal with trauma and it felt very clunky and poorly done. It was the second book, with Kate & Anthony, who I... didn't hate like I did in the show 😂

Funnily enough, Mary Balogh wrote the book I just finished. Someone to Love from The Wescott series, and you know what. I actually NEED to talk about this book so I'm using this golden opportunity to ramble and I'm sorry.

I'm gonna preface by saying that besides these two points, I very much enjoyed the plot and was very engaged by it

Let's get this out of the way first: very often I come across issues in romance books where something makes me real uncomfortable. In this one, it was the main dude finding some mystical Chinese man to teach him kung fu and make him all powerful or whatever. Like... YIKES. And this was published in 2016

Now that that's out of the way, the thing I REALLY need to talk about (though much less serious/important).

So the main guy's whole thing is that he's small? Like he gets teased as a kid for looking like a girl and he's weak, blah bah blah. And that doesn't magically go away with some growth spurt, which is kind of nice! I appreciate what the author was trying to do, the male love interest doesn't have to be crazy tall & built to be sexy. Great message! But I think she just... overdid it or something? She just talks about how small he is CONSTANTLY (he's still taller than the female protagonist, so I think this is maybe why it sticks out so much? It's always from the female's POV saying how small he is (but don't worry, he's sexily lean & powerful with his kung fu muscles)). She makes mention of it in seemingly every paragraph as we lead up to the sex scene (which was disappointing and boring and awkward, I have been ruined by fanfic smut). The female protagonist is also described by the man as very stiff/proper/no frills/etc. So by the time we get to the already awkward sex scene, all I can picture is Lord Farquaad with Jaime Lannister hair trying to sensually fuck this girl who just LAYS THERE stiff as a board, and I lost my actual shit and laughed my way through the wedding night scene

*to be fair to this book, I take medical marijuana every night to help me sleep and it uh really does make everything funnier & more ridiculous. some of my best fic ideas & my most rambling tumblr posts are because of it (like now!)

**sorry to anyone who was into show Anthony Bridgerton but dear god was he a misogynistic ass and I stg that actor took the Joey Tribbiani school of smell the fart acting. no I will not be taking any notes