#lets all calm down a bit
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the fact that a piece of media revolving around a bunch of unrelated adults still has crazy shipping discourse is a sight to behold
#like i can understand why someone might dislike a ship because even tho theyre adults there might be a 5+ year gap#but guys b serious i dont think anyone who's shipping a 25 n 22 year old together is doing it because they like power imbalances or age gaps#(this is coming from someone who dislikes every ship apart from pomni x ragatha because yuri)#it feels like u guys are trying to make a toxic fanbase on purpose 😭#lets all calm down a bit
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This line is just so silly
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Silly Gale doodle to make me feel better about my art :")
#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#bg3 gale#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bg3 fanart#baldur's gate fanart#tee ramble in the tags ->#i spent so much time on that one art piece I've been working on#and i feel like it isn't good#and wasn't worth all the pain and time i spent on it#:(#and i also have been struggling to draw gale lately i feel like i lost my ability to draw again#so in a bit of an art slump#i want to draw but i can't draw how they look in my mind#but!!#i know i probably just need to step away and calm down#let it come back to me#<- ramble over#galemancer#galemance
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maybe if i just put these screenshots together youll understand why i think their relationship just Works so well as it pertains to the characters and themes of S4 in general
neither of them know what theyre doing, but theyre figuring it out Together. the old ways are dead. and together theyll build a new future thats worth fighting for
#twdg#violentine#clems “i dont know” paired with violets “lets figure it out together”. screaming crying throwing up#clem never knew what she was doing!! she was just trying her best!! and now shes tired as SHIT!!! she wants a break 😭!!!#vi helps take that weight off by supporting her as much as she does (which is A LOT!! and clem supports her in return. they grow together)#that bit in the woods where instead of getting grossed out by the guts vi crouches down to ajs level and keeps the situation calm#and she looks up to clem and gives her a little smile. and clem just relaxes and smiles back !! DO YOU UNDERSTAND !!!#clem being anxious about her reaction. violet putting her at ease. clem getting to Relax for 2 seconds. they help each other CHILL 😭#ALSO why their walk home talking about ericson and renaming it and imagining what they could add to it is just so good narratively#they turned that prison into their HOME!! a place worth fighting for!!!#tenn wanting to help rebuild. vi saying Everyone will :') its a home for ALL OF THEM 😭 its about the COMMUNITY !!!#this is also why i think the friends route still works but theres just even more Juice with the romance. even ignoring minnie#violets “you better not disappear on me”. friended clems “ok” to romanced clems “i promise”#in a season about building a home and a family that second one just hits harder you know? and like above with the learning to dance#i just feel like their romantic relationship specifically fits into the overall themes of the game the strongest and elevates it#me talking at the wall (tumblr drafts)#all of my friends who have played twdg are too normie so i gotta make posts like this instead. or i'll die#wont somebody analyze narrative with me#it speaks
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I remember hearing a video essayist for a different fandom saying a lot of people are having wild takes on the media in question because it's becoming more common to get information about the books second-hand than to actually read the books. And I think something like this happened with pjsk. Except worse because we don't even have video essays we have tiktoks. And that's why We're Like This
#jay rambles.txt#I think this is rapidly becoming an issue with fandom in general#so little people actually engage with the source#Like I think we put essays and character analysists a bit too high on a pedestal let's calm down a little and breathe#I think this is an issue with fast-paced fandoms too. we don't have time in our lives to pay attention to detail anymore but still want to#be included. I recognise that. I am not blameless#but the only way to combat that is to Actually Engage with the media I'm afraid. being behind on thing is not a bad thing#if it means you learn to appreciate it. stop getting all your story info from tiktok & pinterest & tumbrl posts. staaph#if you know that fandom I'm talking about you get a cookie and my condolences
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Another thing I need people to stop just saying like it's the truth is that Bruce picked up Tim as Robin immediately after Jason died, or that Tim forced his way into being Robin.
Now, of course, there is the caveat that Jason can come back into town thinking that it was the case, he was dead and Talia informed him of the changes in Gotham, so we don't know how accurately he was informed. Another caveat is that Tim can grow up thinking he forced his way into it because he does argue for it at a point, but I need no one else who had a fully developed mind and was there saying it. Okay? Okay.
So, let's tackle the first one. Jason Todd gets an official death certificate in the Daedalus and Icarus Annual explaining how he came back showing his date of death as 4/27/19xx (since comics are always meant to be contemporary unless stated otherwise, we can just ignore the year). The DC Encyclopedia had a death certificate too, but it had a lot of odd details, not least his height and weight being more in line for a 10 year old than a 15 year old (the Titans comic put his height at 5'4" when he died), so I'm going to use the comics certificates over that when they conflict, but the Batman Annual also lists his date of death as 4/27 (why is it a Gotham City Death Certificate when he died in Ethiopia? I have no clue).

(Batman Annual 25)

(New Titans Vol 1 55)

(DC Encyclopedia)
Tim Drake appears after Jason dies when Bruce Wayne is going a little crazy as Batman. He specifically shows up during a break week from school.
(Batman 1940 #441)
Given that he could only have a Break Week feasibly in November for teacher conferences, December for Christmas/New Year's, or March/April for Easter, and the greenery outside show that it's neither November nor December, he's therefore shown up for his Spring Break. Since that would never be after April 27th, then he has to be there at least the first Spring Break following Jason's death, so about a year later.
He shows up and begs Dick to become Robin again to save Bruce from himself.
(Batman 1940 #441)
You see, this is interesting. He's explaining all his best qualities, not as a way to say "I'm right for the job" but to awkwardly (as only Tim Drake can) explain how much Batman and Robin mean to him, and how much they've influenced his life, to show how committed he is to this idea to back-up his assessment that Batman needs Dick as Robin again.
Dick is very adamant in his refusal to step back into the Robin role.
(Batman 1940 #441)
Both Alfred and Dick(Maybe? unless it's just Alfred being the drama again, but Dick did leave his old Robin costume out on the side before leaving) suggest Tim should pick up the costume. And he does only hours later, when Dick and Batman's signals have disappeared after going to confront Two-Face. Tim is feeling guilt over Nightwing possibly being dead because he got involved, he's worried sick about his heroes, and Tim has to go help because he is not built for sitting back and worrying.
(Batman 1940 #442)
At this point, he does start trying to convince both himself and Batman that he should be Robin, but only seriously after Alfred and Dick start hyping Tim up as well. Bruce is not having it. Like. At all.
(Batman 1940 #442)
They go to track down Two-Face and the confrontation ends with Tim nearly getting crushed to death as a pile of cars in the junkyard are toppled over onto the Batmobile, where he's been instructed to wait.
(Batman 1940 #442)
The confrontation ends with Bruce punching Two-Face and telling him that he can't kill Batman or Nightwing (Or Robin?) Or Robin!
Afterwards, after all the adrenaline has worn off and they're back in the manor in their normal clothes, Tim starts to back off of being Robin. He's still super stoked for having had the chance to fight criminals with his heroes, he's 13, give him a break. Please and thank you.
At this point it is Alfred, Dick, and Bruce who cement Tim going into training to become Robin. Yes, because of his logic, but also, like. I think Bruce knows deep down he needs someone to work with just as much as everyone else does. And Tim already knows his secret, and this is the easiest way to keep him quiet. Also, Bruce. Fucking. Communicate better. Jesus.
(Batman 1940 #442)
And then Tim's training begins, but he won't become Robin until the following Christmas. And only after he saves Bruce because he's been captured by Scarecrow and is being tortured with fear toxin with Vikki Vale. Tim was ordered to stay home, but again, he is incapable to standing back and not helping when he thinks there's a problem (this is a good and heroic character trait). This time, he doesn't wear the costume because he can't bear the idea of failing in it, so he dons a ski mask and comes in, gets dosed with fear toxin while saving Batman and beating Scarecrow and runs away before the cops show. Tim believes this means he'll never be Robin, that Bruce will fire him from training, but at least Bruce is alive. When Tim explains this all to Bruce, Bruce says the rules are there for a reason, but sometimes it's okay to break them when justified and gives Tim a new Robin costume.
(Batman 1940 #457)
#dc comics#detective comics comics#batman#bruce wayne#tim drake#robin#spes talks#I cast “read the comics”#I am feral at the it's okay to break the rules bit#Look me in the eye Bruce#When Stephanie or Jason break the rules#There's trouble#But when Tim does it#it's fine#And like yes#Tim is the one making all the arguments that Bruce should let him be Robin#but he is high on having saved his heroes lives and escaped a fight with Two-Face#As soon as he has a second to calm down#after nearly getting crushed#he's back to well#I get it#I still think you need a Robin#but if you don't want me#that's fine#He's also 13#Alfred and Dick are whole-ass adults#instigating Tim being Robin#They literally put the thought in his head#so he can make the argument in the first place
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CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE NEW RING ON OLENA'S MIDDLE FINGER SHE WEARS SINCE THE LAST COUPLE TRIP



#LISTEN#I NEED EXPLANATION ASAP#i mean i can think of a ton of explanations from she just get herself some new jewelry to WHAT WE ALL WOULD LOVE#WHAT IF THAT WAS THE REASON THEY STAYED LONGER IN FINLAND#NOT JUST FOR HAVING A BIT OF PEACE#WHAT IF THEY WERE SERIOUS WITH GIVING THEM MORE COUPLE TIME AND THATS WHY#look LET ME HAVE MY HEAD CANON#im going to scream and my volena heart is exploding if this actually is a promise ring or he proposed again or something#vova you better got down on that knee this time#I JUST LOVE THE THOUGHT ITS SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND NOT JUST A JEWELRY#AND THATS WHY SHES WEARING IT SO MUCH#AND ONLY ON BUCHA COUPLE EVENT DAY NOT BECAUSE SHE SAW HIM#AND SHE WEARS IT ON HER MIDDLE FINGER BECAUSE HE WEARS THE WEDDING RING ON HIS MIDDLE FINGER#im not going to be over this any time soon#shit do i need to rewrite beautiful helsinki#SHE WEARS A RING AT HER MIDDLE FINGER AFTER THE COUPLE TRIP OF COURSE IM NOT CALM ABOUT IT#it even looks like a wedding or promise ring or something like that#VOLODYMYR WHAT DID YOU DO
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found a crucified stan marsh while on a hiking trip and thought of you

oh hey, thats actually the same one from my picture! LOL!
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Thank you sparks for the ominous ticking noises they've made me happier than i've been since hearing my favourite song played live in front of me two months ago
#i'm going to be so real despite having 2 hours of sleep today and feeling all sorts of dead in oyher ways (the indispensable migraine)#i'm exhibiting energy levels i haven't had in months. might just start doing stuff like idk. clean the room or whatever#to channel that energy in some way#sparks tour 2025 WILL save me. oh my god remembering all the fun of the 2023 tour and now i will actually BE THERE FOR IT#in some form definitely. i mean i want i want to go to more than one show if it's possible (it should be possible)#forget everything forget the existential crisis and the chronic tiredness the year of sparks is upon us once again!!!!!#and also new tmbg album. lets not forget tmbg's as of now still untitled 24th studio album#and also my first concert of the year in less than a month!!!! life is worth living. if only this goddamn headache would stop#ok lets calm down a bit now but also i want to hear everyone's theories on the new album because i have no ideas at all#i'm feeling very uncreative. what does the angry face entail. what will the heather album be like#what will be the tour outfit colors. i think someone predicted sky-blue for russell and behold!!!!!#goosepost
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im someone who stuggles not to let his curiosity and drive sometimes (often) cross over into an overwhelming and maladaptive need for answers, for explanation, for certainty. someone who, historically, sees making art as a primarily intellectual exercise. this is not inherently a bad thing, we all have our temperaments and this kind of attention can be a strength. but, you know that artist who makes a painting, and then only wants to show it while explaining it to you? thats me, sometimes, more often than i like. every story i used to write had another hundred page document behind it, explicating every single choice -- often i would simply read that, instead of ever actually write the story itself. the explanation precedes everything. the answers alone are the experience.
david lynch's work and philosphy has been and is a vital foothold in my efforts to learn to love the questions as our breath. learn to appreciate intuition and dreams, trust them instead of fear them. learn to see that the world has so much confusing, uncertain, strange beauty, that can be terrifying but turns sublime when you cease rejecting it from fear. when you embrace the unknown and dont try to immediately & anxiously explicate it all away, a whole new world opens up to you. that you need the darkness in order to dream, and you need dreams in order to live fully immersed in what the world has to offer. a foothold in learning to be okay with abstraction, with imperfect subjectivity, with uncertainty. to know it is not anthitetical to truth and meaning. know that to skillfully make ideas come alive into a work *is* to rationally pin them down, but that you cannot lose sight of the intuition they were born as.
his artistic intuition reminds me of what i need to have -- the trust and humility for experiencing the inexplicable and understanding that to be enough. a devotion to ideas and their realisation. a balancing force, for my endless inquiry -- to not forget to live the question in my the search for an answer. to allow some thing to go without clear or universal explanation, allow for some things to remain unresolved, allow for others to have that be their resolution. it's why his work equal parts captivates me and disturbs me -- i am very bad at this. but feel in my heart a need to get better at it. to be a better artist, a better thinker, a better searcher, a better person. you need to feel it, intuitively, quiet your endless noisy need for an answer and simply let it fill you up, let it resonate intuitively, and find in that how life makes sense to you and you alone. mediation, mindfulness, humility to sit with abstraction without trying to pin it down. more and more i try to understand this. some things don't need to make perfect sense. some things dont need answers, or their answers are not the point. some things dont need anything but to be experienced as they enter you -- like dreams do. that can lead you to the answer, and that can also be enough in itself. that can be just an intrinsic value in being alive to experience it. and so often, it is all in conversation with the search for joy. it's why he feels so captivating, so unique, so tremendously alive. why people use the word "visionary" when talking about him. because he knew how to use his medium in all the potential he could see, so that it let you live in the strangeness and questions. he understood them as sublime, he understood them as enough, he understood them as a joy. he understood them as beautiful. and his memory will remind me to do the same; always to seek the space to dream.
#(in dreams / oh in dreams / the snake will find its tail)#i am! a guy! who likes! answers!!#someone who resolves his fear of monsters in the closet by picking up a flashlight and brazenly throwing open the door!!#but at my worst i am also extremely anxious and thus avoidant!!#so i will resolve my fear of monsters in the closet by opening the doors wide and then simply pretending to see whats inside#searching for answers without the bravery to sit with questions#this makes me worse!! it makes me worse!!!!#thank you david lynch for reminding me over and over again that the way to stop being afraid of the dark#is to not stop at all#but instead embrace that disquiet. open the closet door wide as it will get. turn off the flashlight#and simply sit in front of it#observing -- simply observing -- whatever shapes emerge#letting them fill you up#and then doing something with them#also... man#lynch is one of the few things my mom and i almost completely agree on and could connect through#despite everything i feel like she gets this necessity for humility and curiosity and quieting down your need for answers#and not to get overshary on the tumblrs but it is a source of friction at times#because of my me and like. the abuse. i dont want someone whose failure of self knowledge gave me cptsd to tell me i should *think less*#but idk it's precious that through lynch we find a common ground in which to agree about it#i think i get what she was trying to tell me a little better now. or maybe what she would've liked to be trying to tell me#idk tldr i had a violent childhood where nothing made sense and everything was scary so now i struggle not to be desperate for#certainty and knowledge as protection. and the way i always found that was through art and philosophy so. yeah.#lynchs work helps me like... calm down a bit about that and do it better#to learn to love the strange and the confusing and the disquieting not see it always as a threat#to sit in the dark and see it for what it is. painful and beautiful. tender and hard. its deeply relieving. its good#hole in the world dude im gonna miss him really bad all i can feel rn is sadness gratitude and joy#forever in dreams#david lynch#mine
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Naegami Fluff and/or Shenanigans 8
Sometimes, the two just have those classic movie nights. Not anything super fancy or romantic. Just the two of them chilling while watching a flick. It started off as Makoto's one-off idea before it blossomed. The two aren't even that big into movies but it's something they do together. However, one day, after finding a shit movie neither of them have heard of, the movie night spiraled into something bigger. Basically, the gist of their new and improved movie nights is:
This definitely became something the two never would have guessed to become so chaotic. Cus, every few moments in movies, Byakuya just HAS to pause it and go on a rant on everything wrong with the scene or dialogue while Makoto desperately tries not to laugh too hard. He fails though. Every. Single. Time. I mean, how can he NOT laugh when his boyfriend is absolutely ROASTING and MURDERING the poor movie with expert precision! Like, Byakuya's just stabbing the ever loving shit outta every plot hole imaginable and there is nothing that Makoto can do about it. Not that he'd WANT to... Makoto genuinely loves hearing his boyfriend rant about stuff in general, so this is no exception. Hell. The fact that Byakuya isn't even that big of a movie fan makes it better. Also, the ways that Byakuya explains the movie plots to him also doesn't help due to Byakuya's general sass the whole time. Gets Makoto every damn time.
The initially just watched bad live-action movies like The Room, Sharknado, all Neil Breen movies like Fateful Findings and Twisted Pair. However, after digging around for more bad shit for them to find, they decided to bite the bad and strange animated movies which Byakuya has his own new type of rants for. AKA "Stupid Children's Movie Humor that Moronic American Executives Force to Add into the Movies is Dumb and Stupid" rant. Also, there's also the obvious rant about the animation or animation errors. And that is where they made their best/worst decision ever. Yeah. Makoto nearly died when they watched The Bee Movie because of the unhinged rants Byakuya went on. Tldr; Byakuya absolutely DESPISES Jerry Seinfeld and made that VERY clear. Meanwhile, Makoto barely knows who the fuck Seinfeld is, though that doesn't matter because the boy is literally curled up on his side, on the couch, clutching it for dear life while freaking snort-laughing to death as Byakuya just won't let up. Makoto also leans on Byakuya a bit for SOME semblance of support but it barely helps and the heir's movements just make him laugh and giggle even harder. The whole time, Byakuya's just smirking at him while being amused at Makoto's response. And, gosh. The day after was almost as bad when Byakuya pulled at the cork board to explain even MORE about his hatred of Seinfeld. Makoto shed many tears those days from how hard he was just dying from the whole thing. Also didn't help when Makoto tried to engage himself with the discourse by asking questions. The key word is TRIED. He could only get a few legible words out at that point which Byakuya absolutely teased him for. Like: "Ah, Makoto. This is no laughing matter! I am talking about the heinous deeds of an unfunny comedian! This man is DESPICABLE!" he says, also struggling a bit not to laugh himself. Cus, Makoto has the gift of having a bit of a contagious laugh. Specifically in the sense that hearing it is cute and, if one ever laughed along with him, zero shits would be given about one sounded cus they're too busy trying and failing to keep it together. Also, it's just easy to kinda have fun laughing with the little guy like that. 'Tis hard attempting to not be charmed by he eggy ways though some are obviously immune. Byakuya is not. AHEM
Yeah. Byakuya was SOOO having a fucking blast tearing apart both the movie and Seinfeld both cus he likes ranting but also because, at this point, he knows he just genuinely likes seeing Makoto happy. Makoto's the same way which is why, even during the times he was absolutely crying at that point from how hard he was laughing his ass off, he only sometimes told Byakuya to quit it, which was mostly in a playful and kinda whinny way cus Makoto was still losing it BAAAAD. That is not an understatement. Can also see Byakuya being a bit of a dick here by ruffling Makoto's hair or something which just makes the guy both flustered and even more giggly than before. Having said all of this though, I have a feeling Makoto finds a way the break the bastard back though. I mean, Makoto's been doing a lot of laughing! Might as well get some payback! Also payback for Byakuya freaking poking him, rubbing it in that Makoto sounds like a total loser. Nothing too lethal though. Not that Makoto could BE lethal. Just the boy trying and failing to maybe crack a joke or something but he's bad at it, regardless if he's laughing hysterically or not. The attempt is short lived though as Makoto kinda just tries to get everything back on track regarding the actual PLOT of The Bee Movie. Cus, Byakuya's actual a bit out of breath from all that Seinfeld ranting. It backfires though. They both end up in a weird conversation on how the fuck Vanessa is plowing that bee. AKA, the strangest talk they've had about anything ever up until this point... Like, it starts off as a genuine question before it just devolves into Makoto trying to end it all while covering his face, laughing hysterically while Byakuya's no better. He just keeps trying and failing to actually psycho-analyze the logistics here. Meanwhile, Makoto is lowkey squealing for him to finally quit the bit while Byakuya just keeps going. He may be out of breath from the Seinfeld rant but he is just on a roll today and nothing is stopping him. And, when everything FINALLY starts to calm down a bit, the two reflect a bit on what the fuck just happened. Oddly enough though, they're content about it. Like, the two had fun. Makoto nearly died. All is good in the world. And maybe they just cuddle after. Idk! T-T
#danganronpa#danganronpa makoto#makoto naegi#danganronpa byakuya#byakuya togami#naegami#naegami talk#text sector#yeah. this one's pretty chaotic#can't blame byakuya for continuing his rant if it meant hearing makoto's dorky ass laugh#makoto DID get his payback though after they calmed down and cuddle a bit. yeah. byakuya just kinda let it happen. twas too tired to object#not that he wanted to#like at all. 'tis kinda fun#he finds it cute when makoto just pokes him playfully like that. he can't help it. heir's WEAK#also#byakuya's mostly just weak to it all though#weak to naegi
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Izzy's a piece of shit and I hope he dies this season. If you're an Izzy stan I hope you die too.
Hey it’s my first hate message! What fun!
My previous post expressed zero opinions on Izzy, I simply said that I was scared of the intensity of the fandom in-fighting about him. So thanks for backing up my point!
#i actually have the most middle of the road opinions about izzy. neither a stan nor a hater#as i believe you’ll discover if you scroll back through my character tag a bit#even if i was an izzy stan though why would you send this? this is a comedy tv show#and we are fighting about a season that hasn’t even come out yet#so can we please all calm down?#izzy hands#ofmd#asks#original post#anti izzy hands#harassment cw#i’m not entirely sure what cw to add to this. please let me know if you want any other tags added
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There’s apparently been some bad reviews for Tom’s play on some online theater board and now people are assuming the critics are going to be overwhelmingly negative…this is exhausting. No official reviews have been released yet, so why are people already worrying about them? That’s why I appreciate your blog, I like that you’re just enjoying the play outside of all that noise
funny you mention this because this is something i’ve been thinking about since opening night, like I know a few days before that we were going on about critics, perception and so on and so forth…after reading and seeing some stuff myself tho, I wouldn’t be surprised if it does go more into the “mixed reception” territory, which is not bad in my opinion (especially after the past couple years sksjsj) but again, this is from the perspective of someone who has not seen it and probably never will (I hope that’s not the case tho), is not familiar with Jamie’s work like that nor is a huge theatre buff in general…I know movies, shows and that industry as whole much better hence why my views on that are more strongly worded, I guess…what I’m trying to say is, whatever the reviews are gonna be like, it won’t change anything about how I perceive him as an actor right now (especially this time around because I more so understand why he went for this) and his talent because he has proven that to me already and I think others here also don’t need (any more) validation in that regard…that being said, I guess some are worried because if a certain group gets ahold of potentially “bad” reviews, it’s gonna be annoying because they will use this as validation for their unfavorable opinions on his talent, career etc. that stem more so from reading and observing past reviews than actually watching and consuming if you get what I mean, and it’s extra annoying because they don’t really care about this project nor theatre in general…but I’m appreciating the attendees’ reviews so far which has been positive for the most part so that’s probably also what is “easing my mind” (I put it in quotes because it sounds rather dramatic like it ain’t that serious lol) and a couple not liking it is always gonna happen, especially when it’s a “unique” take on something or other biases are at play and we have to make peace with that ✌️
#sorry this really turned into a whole ass essay#I think the content influx has also “calmed” me down a bit lmao#maybe my view on all of this will change once again in a couple days/weeks#but for now I don’t feel like focusing on or talking about negative stuff#like that’s mostly what I’ve been doing ever since I made this blog#enough is enough like let me enjoy this 😭#r&j#anon ask#also glad you’re enjoying my blog anon 🫶
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btw i am still alive now that i have recovered from swiftkirchen and i hope you are all doing super well this summer! i am FLYING through my reading list atm which is amazing and i am feeling more and more inspired for things (footballer!paz anyone? roommate!paz as well maybe?) so hmu in the inbox it is TIME TO THIRST
#this month has been so crazy#being an adult is constantly switching from bone deep exhaustion to fully packed calendars for social things#and i love the social things don't get me wrong but like#i need time to rot#i need time to stare out the window and daydream#and i have had the bEST scenarios come up in my head just before i fall asleep#(aka the main way i get any of my writing outlined lol)#but i have barely even opened my laptop in the past two weeks#never mind written anything down#anyway what i am trying to say is that i think this 'forced' break kind of got my muse going again#i am thinking of all the things and i even wanted to write a little bit for biker!Paz again which#let me tell you#has not happened in a LONG LONG time#also also#sarah made me the PRETTIEST BESTEST AWESOMEST friendship bracelets for calm and the one#and obv i am now thinking again of that other bodyguard!paz idea i had going in my brain that one time#cause i kind of forgot about The One???#but also did i ever tell you guys about the modern calmer au i was thinking of?#bc i had a weird/uncomfy rideshare experience recently#and nothing happened and i was never unsafe at any point#but boy oh boy do i think this would fit in that au#anyway#i know there are some asks in my inbox that i never got to so maybe i'll get to it today!#may rambles
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Me when I have plans but my head looks like a trashcan on fire and like 3 separate "mes" are arguing with me about said plans

#like ok. guys we made plans. please.#like genuinely i have no idea how other people just exist like whenever i want to do something there is at least one part of me that very#passionately wants to do the exact opposite even though it wasnt there just a second ago#like is nobody elses head a car filled with people going on a road trip or what?#because i kinda assume that that is the default state of being but nobody else seems to have as many problems with it#because i do feel like my head is a car full of people going on a road trip.#and hey from the outside it looks so united; right? it looks like just one car and it looks like it must be calm inside but it isnt#because theres a driver and a navigator in the passenger seat and several family members in the back seats and theyre shouting#something at the driver and the driver is getting really irritated and someone is sleeping in the trunk of the car#and if the driver gets pissed off enough theyll shout 'OK! Do it yourself if youre so smart!'#and lets go of the wheel and crawls into the back to sleep#and then someone else takes the wheel and theyre driving the car#and sometimes that exchange of the wheel is calm because only one person wants the wheel#but sometimes its loud and chaotic and painful because everyone wants the wheel and theyre all fighting and trying to take it#and sometimes two people are driving at once#and sometimes nobody actually wants the wheel they just like to complain. so nobody is driving and the car is speeding down the high way an#it might just drive off a cliff because nobody wants to go ahead and take the wheel#and sometimes the driver is really really really really tired and would LOVE#for someone to take the wheel for a bit but nobody wants to take it. and sometimes the driver kinda wants to keep driving#but someone goes 'Actually I'm taking the wheel; this looks like a job for me. Sod off.' and yeets the driver to the back#or to the passenger seat#and i assume that this is how it works for everyone.#which is why i assume that i am VERY bad at handling it
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k'yue should be a drk but he doesnt get to pick that up until i get him to hw so. so long
#ffposting#the problem with making a thousand alts is that well there is never time to play on all of them.#i did get aetea past ct yesterday hashtag yay... the transphobe in my eu fc discord server left <3 it motivated me a bit#but in truth i will not be free from hildegarde until all his jobs are at 100. just... hold on let me count.#just 7 jobs left! i am a certified caster main at the very least#theres a bunch of other stuff i want to do with him obviously but like ill be able to calm down a little
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A shame I wasn't able to find the motivation to finish my Halloween art in time for Halloween. Might still finish it and post it late for fun, especially since it's already lined.
Started it early and everything and I still couldn't make it. Oh well. That's what I get for getting distracted doodling silly stuff.
#text post#just rambling#Ive just been trying to keep my head on straight and doodling to distract myself these past couple weeks#that WIP has been sitting there...SO close to finished#I just had to color it... :( But coloring is a process I really gotta be in the headspace for#shoulda just slapped on some comfort show and powered through it so I wouldnt be late#but getting mad about what I didnt do isnt gonna make it magically happen lol#so late halloween art is my curse#sorry if I sound a little down for a bit its not the halloween lateness thats got me like this its more so just...#my brain. and my situation. I just gotta wait for the waters of my mind to calm back down#right now they waves are high. and Im just trying to keep my head above water the best I can#okay wow let me. just stop now yall dont wanna hear all that~! <3
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