#let's put on our mean faces; peter q

[jdgo51]

Persisting in Prayer

Today's inspiration comes from:

Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools

by Tyler Staton

An Execution and a Rescue

"'Acts 12 tells the incredible story of Peter’s supernatural deliverance from prison. He gets thrown into jail for his faith in Jesus, has a public execution date set for the next day. Meanwhile, the church gathers at somebody’s house, holds an all-night prayer meeting, and in the wee hours of the morning, Peter shows up at that very prayer meeting.

As it turned out, God was listening and doing the miraculous. He opened a locked cell in the middle of the night and guided Peter from shackles to freedom so he could rejoin the church family that had been asking on his behalf.

That’s the headline. It’s the story everyone remembers from Acts 12, and it’s a good one. But I’m not interested in the headline; I’m caught up in the subtext:

It was about this time that King Herod arrested some who belonged to the church, intending to persecute them. He had James, the brother of John, put to death with the sword. When he saw that this met with approval among the Jews, he proceeded to seize Peter also. ��� Acts 12:1–3

God miraculously freed Peter, but James was unjustly executed. Why? Why did God respond miraculously to prayer for Peter, but silently to prayer for James? Both of these men were in his inner, inner circle, his core three disciples, so it wasn’t that he favored one over the other. Surely the church prayed for both. If they gathered for an all-night prayer meeting for Peter, it’s safe to assume they responded in the same way for James. Both were arrested and imprisoned by the same corrupt tyrant for the same unjust cause, perhaps even occupied the same jail cell. So, why God? Why let James die if you have the power to teleport Peter to safety?

I don’t know. That’s the only honest response.

Here’s what I do know:

God works slowly out of compassion, not apathy.

I know God puts up with a ton of corruption, and His slow, loving way of redemption asks of us patience and endurance in suffering. I know that when I read Acts, I see a seasoned, resilient faith — a praying people who dance with God through miracles and bear with God through mystery.

God works slowly out of compassion, not apathy.

Lost in the background of the action sequences and miraculous montages of Acts is this — a community that gathered to pray, even after they had tried it once before only to watch darkness win, at least from their point of view. They kept on praying in the face of unanswered prayer. They persisted in prayer.

Where does that come from? Only from the belief that God is bottling up my tears and saving them right next to my prayers. That both are key ingredients in the recipe of redemption. That He loves me too much to let either go to waste.

Can we become again a persistently praying kind of people? Can we recover the legacy of our ancient ancestors, lost somewhere along the way? Can we preserve it, enflesh it in our bodies, express it in our lives?

“Keep on asking and it will be given to you. Keep on seeking and you will find. Keep on knocking and the door will be opened to you.” That’s the invitation Jesus offered us. And anyone who takes him up on it and prays this way long enough will eventually find themselves on the doorstep of resilience.

PRACTICE — Persistent Prayer

Prayer in persistence can be understood in three movements.

Say It Like You Mean It

Don’t begin with grit or faith. Start with disappointment, naming your pain and need to God. He collects our tears, and we begin by doing the same, dragging up our painful experiences of his perceived absence, silence, or rejection. Tell God your disappointments in prayer, and don’t water it down. Forget your manners. Tell it like it is.

Listen for the Question

Invite God to show you the question beneath your disappointments. You’ll know you’re at the root when you get to a deeper question. Beneath the circumstances left in the wake of your disappointment lives a question about the character of God. Is God really loving? Is God really listening? Does God really care about this part of my life? Is God really powerful? Can God heal even this? Is God really bending all toward redemption? Remember, there’s a question hooked into God’s person, His character. Listen till you find it.

Ask God to Meet You in the Question

Hold your deep question before God, inviting Him to bring healing. He heals through this process of pointed questions, so this question you’ve discovered holds within it the power of healing. Invite Him and keep inviting. He’s a miracle-working God who sometimes opens the eyes of the blind. He’s also a divine companion who sometimes stumbles around with us in the dark, wearing our pain alongside us. He’s a master healer. Our only role is to invite and keep inviting.

It is through this process that you will discover the faith to ask again, to keep on interceding, to fill up that heavenly bowl. He is less interested in our asking out of duty or gritted teeth and more interested in the kind of asking that emerges from the healed heart of recovered faith.

Excerpted with permission from Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools by Tyler Staton, copyright Tyler Staton.

[spidcrbittcn-blog]

tag dump pt.2

[annie-mit-ie]

Glimpses: Part 8 (Kathryn Hahn x Fem!Reader)

Part 1 // previous chapter <<< >>> next chapter

Summary: Babysteps are taken.

Word Count: 1,8k

A/N: Hey y’all! I am really sorry it took me a while to get to this but tbh life hasn't been the easiest since I’ve last posted. I hope you all enjoy this chapter, even though it turned out completely different than I had anticipated. Definitely plan to throw another chapter your way this week. We’ll see :)

_____________________________________________________________________________

Her soft lips move against yours as Kathryn’s hand finds her way into your hair. She pulls you closer and it seems like she wants to deepen the kiss, but before she gets any chance to do so, you break the contact.

“Kathryn…“, both of you are panting and you have to hold on to her upper thigh to steady yourself. You take in a deep breath as she looks at you with widened eyes, while a worried look is creeping onto her face. She immediately lets go of your neck. Still panting, she tries to form words.

“Sweetheart, I… I am so sorry! I… Oh my god!“ Her eyes widen and she removes herself completely from you and puts a few more inches in between the two of you. “Is this…? Did we…? Are you okay?“

You nod, slowly, because you need time to process. What struck you and made you speechless wasn’t the fact that she kissed you in the first place, no, you are absolutely confused by her harsh reaction to the occurring situation. You look at her, eyes wide open, as she is sitting way too far away from you and looks at you like something horrible has happened.

“Kathryn, hey, I AM okay. Very much so, stop worrying. All is good!“ You take her hand in yours. “I… I loved this. This is everything I have ever dreamed of…“ “But?…“, she impatiently interrupts you and you give her the look that a mother gives her children when they repeatedly reach for a toy they are not allowed to have. 

“But… This is not how I want this to go. Let me take you out on a date or something?  Let’s go eat somewhere or read or talk or just sit… But not in the back of a car in the middle of the night as we are both very much not sober, hm?“ She nods and the hiccup, that escapes her throat right after you take her hand into yours again, just tells you that you’re right.

The rest of the ride is calm and quiet as Kathryn clearly is tired and overwhelmed with all the love she has gotten all night. You opt to just sit with her in silence, noticing how her body slowly falls against yours until her head lands on her shoulder. She is asleep.

You move a strand of hair behind her ear - prompting a small smile to form on her lips and it makes you feel proud that you did the grown up thing and resisted the urge to take a step further, the urge to see how far she would go, not that you could sneakily slip your hand anywhere anyway, considering she was still wearing that one-piece that was hugging her in all the right places.

Shaking your head to get rid of the thoughts that are flooding your tipsy brain right now, you realize you’ve reached your neighborhood right as the car slows down on the side walk. Peter opens the window to look at you “Do you want me to take you directly to your house or do you want to walk the rest of the way?“

You really appreciate how considerate he is, but you have to tell your mom eventually anyway, so you opt for the safer option. “Take me directly home, please.“ He nods and his eyes wander to Kathryn, who is still asleep on your shoulder. “You’re good for her, I hope you know that.“, Peter says before closing the window again.

“YOU DID WHAT?“ You haven’t seen your best friend enraged like that ever before. “YOUR./NAME… YOU DID WHAT NOW?

Telling her that you were the one who broke off a kiss with Kathryn was probably not your smartest idea in a while. When you got home last night, you went straight to bed, but texted Alex that you were gonna call her as soon as you woke up to give her all the tea.

“I… I broke the kiss?“ You repeat and look at her, scared she will yell at you again.

“Honey! How??? Why? This could’ve very well been a one in a lifetime chance!“ She is not mad or anything, more shocked because she knows how much you’ve wanted this.

You look at her and both of you become serious for a moment. “It wasn’t right. We had too much to drink. I know she wanted it. We’ve had moments before, but… I just didn’t feel right, Alex. I don't know how to explain. Don’t get me wrong, I was into it, very much so, but I want the real deal. Not a car fling, you know?“ “You really are the most amazing person I’ve ever met. I hope she knows how fortunate she is to know someone as respectful as you.“ It still felt unusual to talk about Kathryn that way. Even to your best friend. Even though you know you share everything with Alex that is there to share. Kathryn was Kathryn and you were… just you. But somehow, when the two of you are together, that doesn't matter at all. You don’t think about who she is when you are with Kathryn.

Right as you think about her, your phone lights up and you receive a message.

„Sweetheart, I really enjoyed having you around last night! Can’t wait to do it again. Packed week ahead, sadly, but would like to invite you to my garden again by the end of it? xxx K.“

For a moment, you smile and already want to text back, but you had read the message out to Alex as well and she doesn’t want you to text back just yet. “Can’t wait to do it again?“, she says. “Like as in the kiss or as in the night, well I mean the day, in general? DUDE. That’s huge!“ You hadn’t thought about it that way. Alex was wild sometimes. She would come up with things that you haven’t considered yet, but not always in a good way. Sometimes, she drops knowledge on you until your anxiety kicks in and she doesn’t even notice. Not this time, though.

This time, Alex’ remark only makes your chest swell with pride because, either way, it was a huge compliment. You let Kathryn know that you feel the same and you would love to visit her again.

The following week seems to be endless but somehow you make your way through it, especially with a Q&A that was announced Sunday night and would happen today. Kathryn is booked to watch an episode of her latest show Wandavision with some cast members on something like Zoom, where they can be seen by fans around the globe to promote upcoming shows and increase streams.

She had texted you a selfie earlier, and captioned it with how she was missing your compliments while getting ready, with a wink, of course, and you that made you even more excited to see her later. 

The event itself is cute, hundreds of fans are online and even though you can’t see the other fans, you all can feel the unity and love towards the cast. You’re sitting on your desk, laptop propped up in front of you with the stream, while you are FaceTiming Alex who stayed awake for the event like she always does.

“Kathryn is just soooo beautiful tonight.“ Alex swoons, as you watch her staring at the stream. Kathryn does look great. Her blue eyes are highlighted by the blue button up shirt she is wearing and her hair is loosely hanging down one side. Ben really outdid himself with tonight’s look. She smiles at something Lizzie says and they both laugh as they watch the scene where Agatha and Wanda are in the kitchen together.

“Many mouths make good gossip.“ Alex laughs and you can see Kathryn grin in the corner of your eyes as you look at her best friend. “Have you told her she looks beautiful yet?“

It was a logical question. Shooting her a message would be so easy and yet, you haven’t thought of it yet. You shake your head.

“Gurl! Take your phone and text her, NOW! Let’s gooooooo.“ She was right. You had the perfect chance right there and you were sure Kathryn would not be looking at her phone anytime soon. Most likely, she would only see your message after the event, so you decide to go for it after all.

“Looking really good tonight, Ms Hahn. ;)“ you finally type. It took you a couple tries and you reworded the message several times, trying to figure out what tone would fit best. After deleting the previous ideas, you just want to not send anything at all, but as you reread your final words , you feel satisfaction and that makes you decide to shoot your shot after all.  

Ales notices our internal struggle “Y/N! Send that freaking message NOW.“ You know she would take your phone and just press send if she was with you and you want this friendship to feel a little less distant tonight, so you immediately press send.

Immediately, the both of you keep your eyes on the stream to not miss any possible reactions and you were wrong. Kathryn actually does have her phone with her and you can tell she notices a message because she looses attention for a second and looks to her left.

You can tell she rethinks if she should pick up her phone or not, but before you can worry about the whole situation more, she reaches out for her phone and reads. The smile on her face is telling. She tries to tone the smile down but it still creeps onto her face on one side. You’re not sure, but you would also say that there is a little blush around her nose that you think is adorable and makes a warm feeling bubble up in your body. OH NO.

Shortly, she looks directly at the camera with the softest smile, before putting the phone back aside and giving her attention back to the cast and episode.

“JACKPOT!“ Alex celebrates an early win. „She loved it! See! Aaaaargh, I am SO GOOD AT THIS.“

 You roll your eyes. “You have a wife, honey, OBVIOUSLY you are.“

And while the two of you laugh about your antics and virtually high five because messaging Kathryn was a success,  the other fans on twitter are already freaking out about the mysterious message Kathryn has gotten and who it might've been from.

[iliumheightnights]

We Have A Jedi [21] | Peter Parker x Male Reader

Fandom: Star Wars, Marvel

Pairing: Peter Parker x Male Reader, Tony Stark x Son Reader

Summary: The siege of Mandalore begins. After being asked by Ven for assistance, (M/N) returns to the war he has been away from for so long.

From the beginning Last Chapter | Next Chapter

…

The Republic Cruiser Lightbringer.

Sheyo and Janai watched as the Mandalorian gauntlet landed in the hangar. “What do Mandalorians want with us?” Sheyo asked but Janai didn’t answer. The codes that had been given to land were old...but they belonged to one person only. The ship's ramp extended and the door opened to reveal (M/N). Janai couldn’t help the smile that appeared on her face. Sheyo didn’t waste a second and quickly ran to greet her best friend.

“(M/N)!” She brought him into a crushing hug. “You’re back! What are you doing here?” (M/N) hugged her back but quickly let go giving her a sad smile. “The war.” He looked past her and to his mother. “We don’t have much time. We must act quickly if we’re to capture Kren.” Sheyo looked to Janai who seemed a bit taken back by her son's words but quickly shook it off and nodded.

…

“Kren’s located here in the capital of Sundari.” Ven stated pointing at the holomap of the city before it moved into the inside of the domed city. Sheyo, Janai and (M/N) all watched and listened as he spoke. “He’s using the palace as his base of operations. Thanks to the darksaber, he now controls many Mandalorian Clans. Luckily, I have the loyalty of the rest. But I still don’t have enough to face him alone. I need your help.”

(M/N) turned to Janai who looked over the map. She seemed to be thinking before letting out a sigh. “I want to help you...but I can’t.” (M/N) turned to face her fully. “Why not?” Janai stood up straighter this time and spoke in her general voice. “I’m afraid Mandalore is not a republic world. It chose to stay neutral and unfortunately we can’t send an invasion force to capture Kren. It would be starting another war.”

“You won’t have another war! If you help us I’ll have the darksaber and I’ll make sure Mandalore won’t strike back. Just help us take back our home.” Ven spoke louder this time, letting his emotions get the better of him.

“I’m sorry. But I can’t help you.”

Janai was about to walk away but (M/N) spoke up. “Then help me.” Janai turned back and (M/N) could feel all eyes on him. “Help me then if you won’t help them. I’M going to help them take back their home...and I’m going to capture Kren once and for all. I believe the dreams...NO the VISIONS I’ve been having are finally coming to pass and I’m afraid of what it means. I won’t walk away from the thing that’s been haunting me for years. Please....don’t make me do this alone, but I will if I have to.”

Janai only stared into his eyes. In her eyes she saw how quickly (M/N) had changed and became his own person. But he was also still willing to help those in need. “I-I wish I could. But we have new orders that we’re supposed to return to Tython immediately.” Sheyo not sure what to do quickly acted on her feet. “What about we make (M/N) a military advisor? We’ve had some before to help in other battles, this way we don’t have to get involved but (M/N) and Ven still get the forces they need. It’s the best we can do...and we OWE it to (M/N).”

(M/N) watched as his mother smiled. “I suppose that’s a good compromise. I’ll get the forces ready for you.” She quickly turned and walked away. (M/N) frowned a bit, he could tell their relationship had been strained by him leaving.

“Hey. It’ll be okay. Now come on, tell me everything you’ve been up to.” Sheyo led him away to the cantina.

…

(M/N) looked out at the vast emptiness of space. “Can you feel it? The great change.”

He felt his mother’s presence next to him. “Not really. I can feel...something, like a buzzing. But then again, you always were better at sensing things.”

“I fear whatever is about to happen...won’t be good.”

Janai smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Then we’ll be ready for it. It’s time to go.”

(M/N) left and boarded a gunship with Ven and a couple other mandalorians and republic troops before taking off.

“May the force be with you (M/N) Stark.”

….

Mandalore.

The hum of engines filled the sky as Republic gunships and Mandalorian gauntlets entered Mandalore's atmosphere. Inside the gunship, (M/N) watched Ven pull up a hologram. “Axten. What’s our status?” A hologram of another Mandalorian man appeared. “The city’s on high alert. Kren’s scrambling his forces. We’ve caught them off guard but it’ll only do us good for so long. You better hurry up love, you’re going to miss all the fun.” Ven laughed. “Wouldn’t miss it dear.” He shut off the hologram and turned to (M/N). “Don’t worry. Once we’re done here I’ll get you back to your boy.”

(M/N) could feel himself blush and on reflex moved to feel Peter’s sash.

Soon the gunship was rocked and the pilot’s voice came over the radio. “We have contact!” (M/N) grabbed onto a support. “Open the doors!” On cue, the doors of the gunship opened on time to watch another gunship besides them get blown up. Ven quickly put on his helmet and pulled out his pistols. “Well, let’s get to work!” He quickly jumped out of the gunship igniting his jetpack and meeting the enemy Mandalorians in the air.

The gunship shook again from another explosion and (M/N) watched as a group of enemy Mando’s boarded another gunship. Grabbing his lightsabers and backing up, (M/N) took a running start before jumping out of the gunship and landed on the other one. Igniting his lightsabers, he slashed his way through the enemies.

Jumping into the gunship, he took out the Mandalorians that had boarded it before slashing one of their jetpacks and grabbing on, letting the mandalorian’s malfunctioning jetpack to carry him forward. He let go, landing on another Gauntlet and running the length of the ship's wings. All around him fighting in the air continued on as the landing force got closer to Sundari.

Using the force he jumped off the gauntlet, launching himself towards the docks. Letting himself fall through the air, he kept focus on the fast approaching ground and used the force to slow his descent. With a roll, he planted his feet on the docks and ignited his lightsabers. The enemy forces that were waiting began firing at him and he blocked and deflected every bolt shot at him. The enemy however was slowly pushing him towards the edge of the docks where he could fall off.

He continued to block the blaster fire but heard jetpack’s roaring behind him. Risking a look, he watched as a group of mandalorians flew up and landed besides him. He recognized one of the Mandalorians by his armor, Axten. Backup. The reinforcements began firing on the enemy Mando’s causing them to fall back. The docks had been secured and the landing force was landing. (M/N) caught his breath before running off to meet with Ven for the next push.

(M/N) helped the Republic troops and Mandalorian rebels push forward. Finally they had set up a good base of operations until they could move and take the palace. It wasn’t until (M/N) really stopped and took a short rest that he noticed how everything seemed familiar. It was the city, the domed city from his dreams, it was Sundari. Whatever his visions warned him about...it would be happening soon.

“It looks better without all the smoke and fighting.” (M/N) turned and saw Ven walking up with Axten. “Our forces are pushing forward at a steady pace. We should take the palace by nightfall.” 

“Good.”

“Wow, I thought you’d love the idea of getting back to good ol’daddy and love bug.” Ven joked at him, Axten must have seen how troubled (M/N) was and stopped his lover. “Hey stop it. What’s wrong kid? I can see something’s going on in your head.”

(M/N) didn’t see the point of hiding anything anymore. “Where do I start?” He told them everything. The visions of new york, the battle, Sundari’s role in the vision...then the ashes. “So yeah...I feel like something terrible is going to happen here.”

“Look around kid, the whole place is on fire. People are being killed and ashes are just part of the job. I’m sure your vision is about this. Now let’s get a move on, we need to get Kren out of here.” Ven said leaving to get ready for their next strike.

“It’ll be alright (M/N). I’m sure whatever is coming, we’ll be able to handle it. Now come on.”

(M/N) took one last look at the city before meeting the others at a holotable to plan their move to the palace. After what seemed like hours and lots of debating they finally had a plan. As the forces were leaving the building, a vibration made (M/N) pull out his holo. An alert had sounded off and he pulled up the image to see a ship entering Earth’s atmosphere. He had installed an alert system before he left so he would know if trouble was coming. The image showed a ship in the shape of a Q entering the atmosphere. “Dad and Peter can handle that....I need to do this.” Then he put away the holo only hoping he was right.

…

The battle to the palace had been fierce. Imperial and Mandalorian forces were blocking their own forces from advancing like they had planned. (M/N) blocked blaster fire as Ven and Axten returned it.

“This isn’t working! They’ve got us blocked. (M/N) you need to get to the palace and kill Kren! It’ll be the only way to end this all!”

“How!? If you haven’t noticed we’re kind of stuck here!”

“But not by air! Grab and jetpack and we’ll follow you!”

(M/N) ducked behind a trashed republic walker and looked around. There was a dead Mandalorian near him, no longer in need of his jetpack. Using the force he ripped the jetpack from the body and quickly put it on. “Alright! Now what!?”

“Follow us!” With that Ven and Axten jumped off the sight of the walkway and began shooting through the air.

“Sure! Since it’s SO easy!” With one final look around, (M/N) ignited the jetpack and followed after them.

Flying with the jetpack wasn’t so difficult, especially after he used his fathers gauntlets. However unlike last time, he had to dodge blaster fire from others chasing him. Ven and Axten flipped around and fired behind them. “Get to the palace! We’ll cover you!”

(M/N) didn’t get to fight back as the two Mandalorian fell back and took on the enemies. (M/N) made his way to the palace,which was surprisingly empty when he arrived. Night was falling now and he could feel the disturbance growing. It was coming close.

Walking into the palace throne room, Kren sat on the throne with a smirk. It seemed like he had taken some more damage than (M/N) thought from their last battle. It seems as if his whole side of his body had been replaced with cybernetics.  “Ah! Finally, I was wondering how long it would take you to get here.”

“Sorry to keep you waiting.”

Kren smirked and stood up. “It’s only fitting that we’re here, together at the end.” Kren walked over to the window and stared out as explosions went off around the city and the fighting kicked up again. “You’ve felt it. I know you have. The growing emptiness. The galaxy….the UNIVERSE is about to change forever.”

(M/N) was curious, what exactly had Kren known that he hadn’t. “The mad titan has made his moves and now enters his endgame. It won’t be long now.”

“The mad- Thanos!? The butcher that’s murdered billions in neutral space? What’s he planning!?” (M/N) had heard about Thanos from his mother and from senators...whole worlds reduced to ruin. Only since they were neutral worlds the Republic didn’t care.

Kren laughed at his outburst. “Nothing we can stop. Not anymore. You see he has all the infinity stones now,or will soon enough and when he does….no one will be safe for his plans. The Republic and Empire will fall. The Sith and Jedi will become extinct. The end of an era.”

“Why tell me this!? Why take Mandalore then if we’re so lost!?”

“Because not EVERYONE will die, and I will remain to build my new empire here. With the survivors.”

“I won’t let that happen.”

“And you think you can stop me? I’ve heard you are no longer a Jedi.”

(M/N) ignited his lightsabers. “I guess that makes us even then. You’re only HALF a Sith.”

That seemed to have pissed Kren off, immediately he let out a snarl and ignited his saber. With a quick motion, a slash of red came at him full force. He was quick to roll out of the way and block the next attack with his blades.

“New sabers. I’m guessing the Jedi didn’t let you keep your old ones?”

“Funny. You do know I just took off your arm right? I’m guessing you just like the attention.” He smirked as he saw the rage building up in the sith.

“Insignificant, ignorant Child!” He continued to lash out with (M/N) blocking every blow. He thought of the training exercises with Steve and Nat, how Nat showed him so of her ‘dirty’ moves as she called them, while Steve showed him some of combat training. Their moves added to his jedi techniques from Janai made him even more skilled against his opponent. 

The battle outside was raging, as the fighting kicked up an explosion rocked the palace. The windows shattered and littered the throne room in glass. That didn’t stop the two as they continued to lock sabers against each other. (M/N) however had an idea, using the force he called the shattered glass to fly at Kren.

“Ugh! AAAHH!” The Chiss let out a shout before using the force to push (M/N) back and taking the opportunity to make a run for it. He jumped out one of the shattered windows. 

(M/N) got back up and took a quick breath. He looked at the window Kren jumped out of. “Coward.” With a running start he followed out the window. Once out of the window he slid down the slanted part of the building after Kren. The sith was ahead of him, but once he saw he was being pursued shot lightning at him. (M/N) was quick to block it with his lightsaber.

Reaching the end of the slide, Kren jumped off of the building and (M/N) followed after him. Kren landed on one of the streets and quickly blocked as (M/N) came down with his lightsaber. “Leaving so soon?”

Kren launched himself at (M/N) who once again blocked his blow. Soon blaster fire was fired past them as soldiers on both sides came rushing in. Both sides engaged each other as (M/N) and Kren continued fighting.

(M/N) had gotten the upper hand and was getting close to disarming Kren when suddenly he felt a sharp pain grow in him. Kren’s laughter cut through to him. “Can you feel that!? He has won.” As if on queue, an empty feeling was growing quickly within him. All around him he watched as Republic, Sith and Mandalorian soldiers alike turned to ash. His vision made real.

(M/N) was about to engage Kren again when he felt another pain shoot through him. Someone close to him just...gone. Without thinking, he touched the sash around his waist. “Peter.” His grief, his anger, it all bubbled up and pushed him forward. He once again engaged Kren, catching the sith off guard.

“I can feel it! Your anger. Your hatred! It’s all there! You really are no Jedi anymore!”

Kren used the force to push him back. (M/N) got up and as he looked up he prepared to block another blow, but instead he watched as Kren started to turn into ash.

“No...no no! I was supposed to survive! I was supposed to build MY empire!” His rant was cut short as he fully disintegrated.

(M/N) caught his breath and watched as people all around him turned to ash. Republic, Mandalorians, Sith. Soldier and Civilian. Whatever was happening did not discriminate against anyone. (M/N) could feel the pit in his stomach growing, was he going to vanish too? He couldn’t stop this, no matter how hard he fought. With the sense and feeling of defeat, he turned off his lightsabers and put them back on his belt. That feeling...of death, was growing more and more near. 

Then suddenly he felt something grab his shoulder and he was pulled back.

[marmalodi]

John Lennon and Yoko Ono Interview: St. Regis Hotel, 9/5/1971

When we turned up at the St. Regis for our first interview, John and Yoko were still in bed. It was nearly afternoon and there was a flurry of activity in the adjacent rooms. May Pang was much in evidence, bustling about, her long black hair swirling around her. (This was a year or two before her affair with John.) She told us that our interview would have to be interrupted by a fitting for Yoko, which turned out to be to our advantage, because in Yoko's absence John was prepared to go back into the past and talk about Hamburg and the role of Brian Epstein.

We were served tea on a silver tray. John chain-smoked Gauloises, and the interview proceeded. It was obvious from the start that he was still angry at Paul, but when I played the tapes back later, I noticed he did not say anything negative about Paul's music. He attacked Paul for being bossy, arrogant, chauvinistic, etc, but in the next breath he would be telling us about Hamburg and about Paul having to be onstage for an hour and a half playing 'What'd I Say,' and you could hear the affection in his voice.

I have listened to these tapes many times, and I have always been struck by the contradictions within John Lennon. He tended to see the world in terms of black and white, and people were either on his good list or his hit list, and often subject to being switched from one to the other, according to which way the conversation turned. He was always outspoken, yet the charm of John's outspokenness was not only his way with words, but also that he was as critical and candid about himself as others. In the end it was this that made him endearing. He bared his soul about everything -- his insecurities, his mistakes -- and when he did so, even when he appeared ridiculous, he was a breath of fresh air in the entertainment world.

One moment I remember during the interview was when John and Yoko were leaning toward the microphone, each jostling the other to tell the story of how they met and fell in love. No one could have been in their presence for those minutes and not have been affected by it.

Neil Aspinal, the Beatles' longtime friend, said, 'The Beatles' world was an unreal world... a war zone.' It surely was. In a way I think Yoko brought John home. He found comfort, love, and understanding with her. He had a son by her and devoted himself to his child. I have no doubt he was a happier man in 1980 than he was in 1967 when he walked into that London art Gallery. - Peter McCabe (1984)

Q: "Let's talk about the Beatles' breakup, and the falling out between you and Paul. A lot of people think it had to do with the women in your lives. Is that why the Beatles split up?"

JOHN: "Not really. The split was over who would manage us -- Allen Klein or the Eastmans -- and nothing else really, although the split had been coming from Pepper onward."

Q: "Why, specifically?"

JOHN: "Paul was always upset about the White Album. He never liked it because on that one I did my music, he did his, and George did his. And first, he didn't like George having so many tracks. He wanted it to be more a group thing, which really means more Paul. So he never liked that album, and I always preferred it to all the other albums, including Pepper, because I thought the music was better. The Pepper myth is bigger, but the music on the White Album is far superior, I think."

Q: "That's your favorite, of all the Beatle albums?"

JOHN: "Yeah, because I wrote a lot of good shit on that. I like all the stuff I did on that, and the other stuff as well. I like the whole album. But if you're talking about the split, the split was over Allen and Eastman."

Q: "You didn't like Lee Eastman (Linda's father), nor John (Linda's brother), and the Eastmans didn't like Allen Klein..."

JOHN: "The Eastmans hated Allen from way back. They're from the class of family... like all classes, I suppose, they vote like Daddy does. They're the kind of kids who just think what their fathers told them."

Q: "But for a while you didn't get along with Linda."

JOHN: "We all got along well with Linda."

Q: "When did you first meet her?"

JOHN: "The first time was after that Apple press conference in America. We were going back to the airport and she was in the car with us. I didn't think she was particularly attractive. A bit too tweedy, you know. But she sat in the car and took photographs and that was it. And the next minute she's married him."

YOKO: "There was a nice quality about her. As a woman she doesn't offend you because she doesn't come on like a coquettish bird, you know? So she was alright, and we were on very good terms until Allen came into the picture. And then she said, 'Why the hell do you have to bring Allen into it?' She said very nasty things about Allen."

Q: "Yoko, you weren't with John the first time he met her?"

YOKO: "No. The first time I met her was when she came to the EMI studio. And you know, when Beatles are recording, there's very few people around, especially no women. If a young woman comes into the room, everybody just sort of looks at her. So I was there, and the first thing Linda made clear to me -- almost unnecessarily -- was the fact that she was interested in Paul, and not John, you know? She was sort of presupposing that I would be nervous. She just said, 'Oh, I'm with Paul.' Something to that effect. I think she was eager to be with me and John, in the sense that Paul and John are close, we should be close too. And couple to couple we were going to be good friends."

Q: "What was Paul's attitude to you as things progressed?"

YOKO: "Paul began complaining that I was sitting too close to them when they were recording, and that I should be in the background."

JOHN: "Paul was always gently coming up to Yoko and saying, 'Why don't you keep in the background a bit more?' I didn't know what was going on. It was going on behind my back."

Q: "So did that contribute to the split?"

JOHN: "Well, Paul rang me up. He didn't actually tell me he'd split, he said he was putting out an album. He said, 'I'm now doing what you and Yoko were doing last year. I understand what you were doing.' All that shit. So I said, 'Good luck to yer.'"

Q: "So, John. You and Paul were probably the greatest songwriting team in a generation. And you had this huge falling out. Were there always huge differences between you and Paul, or was there a time when you had a lot in common?"

JOHN: "Well, Paul always wanted the home life, you see. He liked it with daddy and the brother... and obviously missed his mother. And his dad was the whole thing. Just simple things. He wouldn't go against his dad and wear drainpipe trousers. And his dad was always trying to get me out of the group behind me back, I found out later. He'd say to George, 'Why don't you get rid of John, he's just a lot of trouble. Cut your hair nice and wear baggy trousers,' like I was the bad influence because I was the eldest. So Paul was always like that. And I was always saying, 'Face up to your dad, tell him to fuck off. He can't hit you. You can kill him (laughs) he's an old man.' I used to say, 'Don't take that shit.' But Paul would always give in to his dad. His dad told him to get a job, he dropped the group and started working on the fucking lorries, saying, 'I need a steady career.' We couldn't believe it. Once he rang up and said he'd got this job and couldn't come to the group. So I told him on the phone, 'Either come or you're out.' So he had to make a decision between me and his dad then, and in the end he chose me. But it was a long trip."

Q: "So you think with Linda he's found what he wanted?"

JOHN: "I guess so. I guess so. I just don't understand. I never knew what he wanted in a woman because I never knew what I wanted. I knew I wanted something intelligent or something arty. But you don't really know what you want until you find it. So anyway, I was very surprised with Linda. I wouldn't have been surprised if he'd married Jane because it had been going on for a long time and they went through a whole ordinary love scene. But with Linda it was just like -- boom! She was in and that was the end of it."

Q: "So if the falling out was essentially with Paul, what made you decide not to participate in the Bangladesh concert with George?"

JOHN: "I told George about a week before it that I wouldn't be doing it. I just didn't feel like it. I just didn't want to be fucking rehearsing and doing a big show-biz trip. We were in the Virgin Islands, and I certainly wasn't going to be rehearsing in New York, then going back to the Virgin Islands, then coming back up to New York and singing. And anyway, they couldn't have got any more people in, if I'd been there or not. I got enough money off records and I don't feel like doing two shows a night."

Q: "Do you have any regrets about not doing it?"

JOHN: "Well, at first I thought, 'Oh, I wish I'd been there,' you know, with Dylan and Leon... they needed a rocker. Everybody was telling me 'You should have been there, John,' but I'm glad I didn't do it in a way because I didn't want to go on as 'The Beatles.' And with George and Ringo there it would have had that connotation of Beatles -- Now let's hear Ringo sing 'It Don't Come Easy.' That's why I left it all. I don't want to play 'My Sweet Lord.' I'd as soon go out and do exactly what I want."

Q: "John, you said you 'get enough off records,' but you used to say you weren't as rich as people thought you were. Are you rich enough finally?"

JOHN: "Well, I do have money for the first time ever, really. I do feel slightly secure about it, secure enough to say I'll go on the road for free. The reason I got rich is because I'm so insecure. I couldn't give it all away, even in my most holy, Christian, God-fearing, Hare Krishna period. I need it because I'm so insecure. Yoko doesn't need it. She always had it. I have to have it. I'm not secure enough to give it all up, because I need it to protect me from whatever I'm frightened of."

YOKO: "He's very vulnerable."

JOHN: "But now I think that Allen Klein has made me secure enough, it's his fault that I'll go out for free."

Q: "You mean tour for free?"

JOHN: "Well, I thought I can't really go on the road and take a lot more money. What am I going to do with it? I've got all the fucking bread I need. If I go broke, well, I'd go on the road for money then. But now I just couldn't face saying, 'Well, I cost a million when I sing.'"

YOKO: "It's criminal."

JOHN: "It's bullshit, because I want to sing. So I'm going out on the road because I want to this time. I want to do something political, and radicalize people, and all that jazz. I feel like going out with Yoko, and taking a really far-out show on the road, a mobile, political, rock and roll show."

YOKO: "With clowns as well."

JOHN: "You know what I was thinking -- when Paul's going out on the road, I'd like to be playing in the same town for free next door! And he's charging about a million. That would be funny."

YOKO: "Our position is -- I come from the East, he comes from the West -- a meeting of East and West, and all that. And to communicate with people is almost a responsibility. We actually are living proof of East and West getting along together. High water falls low, you know. And if our cup is full, it's going to flow. It's natural for us to give because we have a lot. If we don't give, it's criminal, in the sense that it's going against the law of nature. In order to go against the law of nature you have to use tremendous energy."

Q: "Let's talk about Allen Klein. He has a reputation as a tough wheeler-dealer in the music business. What made you decide to have him as your manager?"

JOHN: "Well, Allen's human, whereas Eastman and all them other people are automatons. And one of the early things that impressed me about Allen -- and obviously it was a kind of flattery as well -- was that he really knew which stuff I'd written. Not many people knew which was my song and which was Paul's, but he'd say, 'Well, McCartney didn't write that line, did he?' I thought, anybody who knows me this well, just by listening to records, is pretty perceptive. I'm not the easiest guy to read, although I'm fairly naive and open in some ways, and I can be conned easily. But in other ways I'm quite complicated, and it's not easy to get through all the defenses and see what I'm like. Allen knew to come to me and not to go to Paul, whereas somebody like Lew Grade or Eastman would have gone to Paul."

Q: "Did Klein hope to get Paul back into the group?"

JOHN: (laughs) "He came up with this plan. He said, "Just ring Paul and say, 'We're recording next Friday, are you coming?' So it nearly happened. Then Paul would have forfeited his right to split by joining us again. But Paul would never, never do it, for anything, and now I would never do it."

Q: "There was a lot of negative publicity about Klein. Didn't that bother you?"

JOHN: "Well, he's a businessman. He's probably cut many peoples' throats. So have I. I made it too. I mean, I can't remember anybody I literally cut, but I've certainly trod on a few feet on the way up. And I'm sure Allen did also."

Q: "How does Klein compare with Brian Epstein as a manager?"

JOHN: "Well, Brian couldn't delegate, and neither can Allen. But I understand that. When I try and delegate it never gets done properly. Like with my albums and Yoko's, each time I have to go through the same process -- Get the printing size right. I want it clear and simple. I have to go through the same jazz all the time. It's never a lesson learned."

Q: "Let's get back to something we were talking about earlier. The attitude of the other Beatles toward Yoko."

JOHN: "They don't listen to women. Women are chicks to them."

Q: "What about George?"

JOHN: "George always has a point of view about that wide (he holds his hands close together), you know? You can't tell him anything."

YOKO: "George is sophisticated, fashionwise..."

JOHN: "He's very trendy, and he has the right clothes on, and all of that."

YOKO: "But he's not sophisticated, intellectually."

JOHN: "No. He's very narrow-minded. One time in the Apple office I was saying something, and he said, 'I'm as intelligent as you, you know.' This must have been resentment. Of course he's got an inferiority complex from working with Paul and me."

Q: "John, what did you think of Yoko's work when you first saw it?"

JOHN: "Well, her gallery show was a bit of an eye-opener. I wasn't sure what it was all about. I knew there was some sort of con game going on. She calls herself a concept artist, but with the 'cept' left off, it's con artist. I saw that side of it and that was interesting. And then we met."

Q: "Was it love at first sight?"

JOHN: "Well, I always had this dream of meeting an artist woman I would fall in love with. Even from art school. And when we met and were talking I just realized that she knew everything I knew -- and more probably. And it was coming out of a woman's head. It just sort of bowled me over. It was like finding gold or something. To have exactly the same relationship with any male you'd ever had, but also you could go to bed with it, and it could stroke your head when you felt tired or sick or depressed. Could also be Mother. And if the intellect is there... well, it's just like winning the pools. So that's why when people ask me for a precis of my story, I put, 'born, lived, met Yoko.' because that's what it's been about.

"As she was talking to me I would get high, and the discussion would get to such a level that I would be going higher and higher. And when she'd leave, I'd go back into this sort of suburbia. Then I'd meet her again and my head would go off like I was on an acid trip. I'd be going over what she'd said and it was incredible, some of the ideas and the was she was saying them, And then once I got a sniff of it I was hooked. Then I couldn't leave her alone. We couldn't be apart for a minute from then on."

YOKO: "He has this nature, and I'm thankful for it. Most men are so narrow-minded. Somebody once told me, 'You don't make small talk, and that's why men hate you.' I mean, I have so many male enemies who try to stifle me. What the hell."

JOHN: "I did the same, of course. I found myself being a chauvinist pig with her. Then I started thinking, 'Well, if I said that to Paul, or asked Paul to do that, or George, or Ringo, they'd tell me to fuck off.' And then you realize -- you just have this attitude to women that is just insane! It's beyond belief , the way we're brought up to think of women. And I had to keep saying, 'Well, would I tell a guy to do that? Would I say that to a guy? Would a guy take that?' Then I started to get nervous. I thought, 'Fuck, I better treat her right or she's going to go. No friend's going to stick around for this treatment."

Q: Did you know anything about rock music, Yoko, when you first met John?"

YOKO: "I didn't know anything about rock music, or anything like it. I thought of rock songs as something a bit lower than poetry. It was like reading poetry that had a definite rhythm to it."

JOHN: "She used to say, "Why are you doing the same beat all the time?' I used to get very irritated."

Q: "What were your feelings about art and the art world at that time?"

JOHN: "Well, I went to art school and I thought that was the art world, virtually. And they're all such pretentious hypocrites. There was no artist I admired, except for maybe Dali or someone from the past. And when I read the art reviews... I couldn't understand why I wasn't being reviewed for my art, because I always felt like an artist.

"So I went to her show. I was thinking, 'Fucking artist shit. It's all bullshit.' But then there were so many good jokes in it, real good eye-openers."

YOKO: "That's another thing, most artists don't have a sense of humor."

JOHN: "And there was a sense of humor in her work, you know? It was funny. Her work really made me laugh, some of it. So that's when I got interested in art again, just through her work."

YOKO: "All the men I met, I felt they were more pretentious than me, hypocritical, narrower than me, and not genuine. And I'm talented. Because I can compose, I can paint, I can be in many fields. Most men that I met were bragging about their professionalism in one field."

JOHN: "They get one idea and flog it to death, and become famous on one idea."

YOKO: "And fucking conservative, you know? And they talk about women not having a sense of humor. I used to despise every man that I met. I was thinking, 'There's something wrong with me, because everybody hated me for it.' And then I met this man, and for the first time I got the fright of my life because here was a man who was just as genuine, maybe more genuine than me. He's very genuine. And he can do anything I can do, which is very unusual. And I got surprised. And that happened at the first meeting."

JOHN: "It took me a long time to get used to it. Any woman I could shout down. Most of my arguments used to be a question of who could shout the loudest. Normally I could win, whether I was right or wrong, especially if the argument was with a woman -- they'd just give in. But she didn't. She'd go on and on and on, until I understood it. Then I had to treat her with respect."

Q: "Yoko, did you have any idea of what the Beatles' life had been like, on tours for example?"

JOHN: "She was really shocked. I thought the art world was loose, you know? And when I started telling her about what our life was like, she couldn't believe it."

YOKO: "I came from a different generation. I mean, my friends didn't want me to know they smoked pot, you know? So I thought 'Oh, he's an artist. He's probably had two or three affairs.' Then I heard the whole story and I thought, 'My God!'"

JOHN: "She was just like this silly Eastern nun wandering about, thinking it was all spiritual."

YOKO: "He once said to me, 'Well, were you a groupie in the art world?' I said, 'What's a groupie?'"

JOHN: "So I said, 'Just tell me. I don't want to go 'round and fucking Picasso or someone comes up and says, 'Yes, I've had her.'"

YOKO: "And I really didn't know the word 'groupie.'"

JOHN: "So anyway, I'd been dying to tell her about the 'raving' on tour. I just wanted her to know what a scene it was. I thought it was silly not to say it. And of course the people with us were living like fucking emperors when we were locked in our rooms. That's why they cling so much to the past."

Q: "Talking of your entourage, do you resent it that so many people take credit for their contributions to the Beatles?"

JOHN: "Well, there was an article on George Martin in Melody Maker -- he's telling all these stories. He says, well, I showed them how to play feedback, or put tape loops together, or some arbitrary little technical thing... Where is the great talent of George Martin and Derek Taylor, and the legacy of Brian Epstein? Where is their talent?"

YOKO: "It's like my ex-husband saying that he sacrificed his talent for me, or something."

JOHN: "Well, I never had anything against George Martin. I just didn't like all the rumors that he actually was the brains behind the Beatles. I can't stand that."

Q: "Let's talk about Brian Epstein, your first manager. What did you think of him?"

JOHN: " I liked Brian. I had a very close relationship with him for years, like I have with Allen, because I'm not going to have some stranger running the scene, that's all. I was close with Brian, as close as you can get with someone who lives sort of the fag life, and you don't really know what they're doing on the side. But in the group I was closest to him. He had great qualities and was good fun.

"He was a theatrical man rather than a businessman, and with us he was a bit like that. He literally fucking cleaned us up. And there were great fights between him and me, over years and years, of me not wanting to dress up. He and Paul had some kind of collusion... to keep me straight. Because I kept spoiling the image, like the time I beat up a guy at Paul's twenty-first. I nearly killed him, because he insinuated that me and Brian had an affair in Spain. I was out of me mind.

What I think about the Beatles is that even if there had been Paul and John and two other people, we'd never have been the Beatles. It had to take that combination of Paul, John, George and Ringo to make the Beatles. There's no such thing as 'Well, John and Paul wrote all the songs, therefore they contributed more.' because if it hadn't been us we would have got songs from somewhere else. And Brian contributed as much as us in the early days, although we were the talent and he was the hustler."

Q: "So after Brian died you made 'Magical Mystery Tour.' You said Paul was acting as if he were going to take charge of everything?"

JOHN: "Well, I still felt, every now and then, that Brian would come in and say, 'It's time to record,' or 'Time to do this.' And then Paul started doing that -- 'Now we're going to make a movie,' or 'Now we're going to make a record.' And he assumed that if he didn't call us, nobody would ever make a record. Well, it's since shown that we managed quite well to make records on time. I don't have any schedule, I just think, 'Now I'll make it.' But in those days, Paul would say that now he felt like it. And suddenly I'd have to whip out 20 songs. He'd come in with about 20 good songs and say 'We're recording.' And I had to suddenly write a fucking stack of songs. Pepper was like that. Magical Mystery Tour was another. So I hastily did my bits for it and we went out on the road. And Paul did the thing for his album -- the big-timer, auditioning directors."

Q: Let's go back for a minute and talk about all the early influences on the Beatles. What would you say had the greatest effect on the group? Was it Liverpool? The Cavern? Hamburg? Did Hamburg really improve the playing?"

JOHN: "Oh, amazingly. Because before that we'd only been playing bits and pieces, but in Hamburg we had to play for hours and hours on end. Every song lasted 20 minutes and had 20 solos in it. We'd be playing eight or ten hours a night. And that's what improved the playing. Also, the Germans like heavy rock, so you have to keep rocking all the time, and that's how we got stomping. That's how it developed. That made the sound. Because we developed a sound by playing hours and hours and hours together."

Q: "You all must have found yourself playing in some unbelievably bad conditions."

JOHN: "Yeah, but it was still rather thrilling when you went onstage. A little frightening because it wasn't a dancehall, and all these people were sitting down, expecting something. And then they would tell us to 'mak show'. After the first night they said, 'You were terrible. You have to make a show -- Mak show!' So I put my guitar down and I did Gene Vincent all night. You know -- banging and lying on the floor and throwing the mic about and pretending I had a bad leg. They're all doing it now -- lying on the floor and banging the guitar and kicking things and just doing all that jazz.

"Then they moved us to another club, which was larger and where they danced. Paul would be doing 'What'd I Say' for an hour and a half. And these gangsters would come in -- the local mafia. They'd send a crate of champagne onstage... this imitation German champagne, and we had to drink it or they'd kill us. They'd say, 'Drink it and then do What'd I Say.' We'd have to do this other show, whatever time of night. If they came in at five in the morning and we'd been playing for seven hours, they'd give us a crate of champagne and we were supposed to carry on. We'd get pills off the waiters then, to keep awake. That's how all that started.

"I used to be so pissed I'd be lying on the floor behind the piano, drunk, while the rest of the group was playing. I'd just be onstage fast asleep. Some of the shows, I went on just in me underpants. I'd go on in underpants with a toilet seat 'round me neck, and all sorts of gear on. Out of me fucking mind!"

Q: When did you get into acid? Did Paul time his LSD announcement to coincide with the release of Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band?"

JOHN: "No. We'd had acid on Revolver. Everyone is under this illusion... even George Martin saying 'Pepper was their acid album,' but we'd had acid, including Paul, by the time Revolver was finished."

Q: "So why did he make that big announcement?"

JOHN: "Because the press had cornered him. I don't know how they found out about him taking it. But that was a year after we'd all taken it. Rubber Soul was our pot album, and Revolver was acid. I mean, we weren't all stoned making Rubber Soul because in those days we couldn't work on pot. We never recorded under acid or anything like that. It's like saying, 'Did Dylan Thomas write Under Milk Wood on beer?' What the fuck does that have to do with it? The beer is to prevent the rest of the world from crowding in on him. The drugs are to prevent the rest of the world from crowding in on you. They don't make you write better. I never wrote any better stuff because I was on acid or not on acid."

Q: "Did the fact that Sergeant Pepper inspired so many people to try LSD surprise you?"

JOHN: "Well, I never felt that Haight-Ashbury was a direct result. It always seemed to me that all sorts of things were happening at once. The acid thing in America was going on long before Pepper. Leary was going around saying, 'Take it, take it, take it.' We followed his instruction. I did it just like he said in the Book Of The Dead, and then I wrote Tomorrow Never Knows,' which is on Revolver, and which was almost the first acid song -- 'Lay down all thought, surrender to the void' -- and all that shit. Do you remember if Paul's statement on acid came out after Sergeant Pepper?"

Q: "Just as it was released."

JOHN: "I see. He always times his big announcements right on the letter, doesn't he. Like leaving the Beatles. Maybe it's instinctive. It probably is. Anyway, 'Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds' is not about LSD. And Henry the Horse is not about smack on Sergeant Pepper, because I'd never even seen it when we made Sergeant Pepper. But those kinds of stories evolved from it -- people thought if you listened to it backwards it said 'Paul is dead.' All that shit is just gobbledygook."

Q: "Still, many who got into acid might never have followed Timothy Leary but did follow the Beatles."

JOHN: "Well, blame it on Dylan. He turned us onto pot."

Q: "Having written so much with Paul, do you think it's possible for there to be some type of settlement, outside of business?"

JOHN: "Well, there's no way for it to be settled 'outside business,' because it all gets down to who owns a bit of what. It's a house we own together, and there's no way of settling it, unless we all decide to live in it together. It has to be sold."

Q: "Have you missed writing songs with him?"

JOHN: "No I haven't. I wrote alone in the early days. We used to write separately. He used to write songs before I even started writing songs. I think he did. And we'd written separately for years. I wrote 'Help.' I wrote 'A Hard Day's Night.' He wrote 'Yesterday.' They'd been separate for years.

"In the early days we'd write together for fun, and later on for convenience to get so many numbers out for an album. But our best songs were always written alone. And things like 'A Day In The Life' was just my song and his song stuck together. I mean we used to sit down and finish off each other's songs. You know, you could have three quarters of a song finished and we'd just sit together, bring ten songs each, and finish off the tail ends, and put middle eights in ones that you couldn't be bothered fixing, because they weren't all that good anyway.

"We usually got together on songs that were less interesting. Now and then we'd write together from scratch. 'I Want To Hold Your Hand,' things like that were done like that. But we'd been working apart ever since we were working together. It was only news to the public that a lot of Lennon-McCartney songs weren't Lennon-McCartney. That was something we'd agreed on years ago."

Q: "Do you think it was a mistake in retrospect to have named everything Lennon-McCartney?"

JOHN: "No, I don't, because it worked very well and it was useful. Then it was useful, so it was quite good fun. I've nothing against it."

Q: "If you got, I don't know what the right phrase is... 'back together' now, what would be the nature of it?"

JOHN: "Well, it's like saying, if you were back in your mother's womb... I don't fucking know. What can I answer? It will never happen, so there's no use contemplating it. Even if I became friends with Paul again, I'd never write with him again. There's no point. I write with Yoko because she's in the same room with me."

YOKO: "And we're living together."

JOHN: "So it's natural. I was living with Paul then, so I wrote with him. It's whoever you're living with. He writes with Linda. He's living with her. It's just natural."

Source: Transcribed by www.beatlesinterviews.org from original magazine issue

[tonio-dawson]

A crossroad

Antonio x Halstead!Reader

Word count: 1,783

Summary: AU where Antonio stays in the unit until season 7 (because I don’t like how he got written out :)). He found himself at a crossroad where he thinks he isn’t the right fit for the team anymore. Reader is Jay’s sister working as a Detective at another precinct.

Antonio walked up to your place, you could hear his footsteps even before his keys reached your apartment door. “It’s not lock-” you screamed from your kitchen but he already made his way inside. He took off his boots and his jacket, and made his way to the fridge and pulled out a beer.

You looked at him, he hadn’t said a word but he glanced at you finally recognizing your presence. “Sorry babe, thought you’re still at work,” he said while taking a swig leaning back to the fridge. His jaw clenched, his eyes were filled with fire, as if he’s ready for a fight.

“Woah, I’d say welcome home, but what happened? Rough day?” You turned to him, spatula on your hand. “Something like that,” he sighed.

“Wanna talk about it over this Arroz con Pollo once it’s ready?” You asked softly.

“I guess,” he gulped his beer this time.

“And maybe give your girlfriend a kiss before you go shower and change?” you walked toward him this time, pursing a smile.

His gazed softened as he reached his arms out to you and pulled you into a hug, “I’m sorry. It’s been really tough at the office today. And we’ve promised each other not to let work gets in between us.” he mumbled on your shoulder. You can feel that something is weighing on him.

“And you did not. Not yet anyway.” you pulled away and kissed his cheek, “Now go shower and we can have dinner,” he nodded and made his way to the bathroom.

Antonio was much calmer after his shower, much more after he filled his stomach with food, “This is soooo good, almost as good as mine.” he smiled. Usually you’d throw a napkin or anything within proximity at him but knowing he had a rough day you just chuckled, “If that’s your way to say ‘thank you my beautiful girlfriend, food is delicious’ I say you’re welcome,” you smiled.

“Of course I meant thank you, ‘almost as good’ is the highest of compliment,” said Antonio while finishing his plate. His expression changed to a tired face as he let out a sigh, “You don’t know how much I need this after today,”

“What happened? Ruzek picked a fight with you again?” You asked.

“Hmm.. yeah, he was on my list of problems today. But…” He trailed off and left his word hanging.

“But what? I’m sorry, it must have been a very hard day.” you looked deeply into him.

“Yeah, I don’t know if this is right… but I’m thinking to quit Intelligence.” he was hesitant at the beginning however his raspy voice was loud and clear when he mentioned about quitting.

You’re at loss for words, trying to control your expression. You didn’t even know whether to stop him from doing it or to support his thinking.

“I…are you, are you sure?” You stuttered.

Antonio sighed even longer this time, “That’s the thing, I’m not sure.” He grabbed another beer from the fridge and took a seat on the couch after clearing up the table.

You’re still sitting at the dining table, frozen, running different words to say to him.

“Babe?” He glanced at you.

You snapped back to reality and made your way to the couch, sitting next to him. “I’m sorry. I’m at loss for words. Don’t know what to say.” you said honestly, “I thought you love working at Intelligence,” you gazed softly at him.

“Yeah, I do. I like working the case. Our cases are always the toughest one, we put away the evil of evil and make the city safer. That’s what I love about being part of the team.” Antonio explained, you sensed a but coming.

“But…you know how Voight and the unit works. It’s not always conventional,” he continued.

“Yes, but you already know that.” you replied and he nodded at your sentence, “Most of the time it worked to our benefit. But lately, every one is trying to be like Voight, you know? Using any means necessary to solve a case. Maybe, except your brother. But Jay’s also has his way of letting things happen. And I can’t. I can’t do it. Not anymore.” he shook his head.

Antonio went on explaining how the last few years went down for him and the team. How they dealt with Al’s murderer - how Ruzek blamed him over not standing up for Voight though it wasn’t the case, how Voight handled Lopez, how Burgess let Q brought a gun to a sting and ended up killing the target, how Upton took care of Vanessa’s mess by planting evidence, the list goes on. And Antonio always got caught in the middle not wanting to condone their actions though not condemning either. But because of that, he was seen as the enemy of the team.

Beyond from short stories that Jay and Antonio shared with you, you didn’t actually know about how the Intelligence team works. As Jay’s sister and Antonio’s girlfriend you have good relationships with the team outside of work. You’ve known them to be good people and solid cops. But getting all of this new information, you can only feel for your boyfriend. You know that Antonio is the boy scout cop who does everything by the book. So these questionable methods that the team uses really challenge his ethics.

“I don’t care how Voight runs his shop. He brought me in to the team knowing already how I handle cases, and we always know how to work with each other despite our differences. But the rest of the team? I’m not sure anymore. These young folks think that Voight’s way is the only way forward. That doesn’t sit right by me.” he complained.

After Jules death, Lindsay’s departure, and Al’s gone, you suspected that Antonio’s feelings towards the team has changed. Team dynamic and roles have shifted and you’re not sure where Antonio sees himself within the team, and how the team positions Antonio. 

Your suspicion only grew stronger after he told you what happened today.

A patrol officer got killed under Intelligence assignment to do a search at a suspected drug dealer’s home. But it was the wrong house, the officer came in hot and drew his gun already when coming inside. Much to everyone’s surprise, they only found a couple who are eating their lunch. Things got real bad, real quick when the husband - an ex-marine - panicked seeing a gun pointed at his direction and pulled his gun from under the table. In a matter of seconds, multiple shots were fired. The first officer died at the scene, the ex-marine is clinging to life at Med, the wife and the officer’s partner got several GSWs albeit not lethal.

The problem? They didn’t have a search warrant. It was an intel from a CI, a real bad one. Ruzek rushed it because a suspected drug dealer has been threatening Michele Sovana, Al’s only remaining daughter. With Ruzek now being questioned by Internal Affairs, the team turned to Antonio to pull in favor from ASA Peter Stone to issue a back dated search warrant to get Ruzek out of trouble.

“I think Jay’s against this. A fellow soldier got shot over a bad police misconduct? But he didn’t say a word.” Antonio’s eyes were filled with concerns, “The thing is, not only the warrant didn’t come through, but an officer shouldn’t draw their gun to a civilian unless necessary.” he sighed and remembered his almost altercation with Ruzek earlier today.

“They thought they’re walking to a lion’s den for fuck’s sake!” Ruzek yelled at him, “Well they weren’t, were they? Now you got two civilians injured; one of them served to protect the country!” Antonio yelled back.

“You always do this, man. A brother is killed and you’re worried about some political correctness? He worked patrol for 10 years, sacrificed HIS LIFE and one simple mistake you wanted to strip from his honor?”

“YES! Because that’s what we do! We sacrifice our lives as cops! Not only him. And because we’re the police we should be held to a standard. All the fucking time. You think you can knock on someone’s door and starts shooting?!” Antonio was boiling, in fact he was so close to hit Ruzek, but Voight broke them off and told people to go home and pick it up tomorrow.

“So, what are you going to do?” you asked.

“I figured I’d do what they say one last time and maybe…hand in my transfer letter the next day.” He replied.

“Wanna transfer to my unit?” you asked cheekily.

He laughed, “Only if I got to boss you around,” as he snuggled to you.

“Not gonna happen!” you threw a light punch.

“I honestly don’t know, you think transferring out is a bad move?” he asked.

“Well, I think working for Voight in the first place was a bad move. Same thing I said to Jay,” you scoffed, “But who knew you guys could go this far and rose to be a unit with the highest solving rate in the department. Whether or not you enjoy it, that’s for you to say.” you smiled this time.

“Hmm…” he hugged you closer and placed his head on top of yours.

“But whatever you decide, I’m behind you. One thing I know is that you’re a damn good cop don’t matter in which unit you work at,” you continued with a proud girlfriend tone.

“Thanks for always having my back. I love you,” He cupped your face and kissed you long and deep, “I love you too,” you replied as you pulled away. He leaned in closer for another kiss, more heated this time. His touch was more intense and you let out a soft moan. His hands traveled inside your shirt as he nipped at your neck. You both were all cozy until his phone rang. You both stopped and looked at the caller ID, “Your brother’s timing is impeccable. You sure he didn’t put a nanny cam around here?” he raised his eyebrows.

“Ugh. You have to answer him?” you asked.

“Actually I do. So tomorrow I don’t have to explain myself why I missed his calls. I’ll be quick,” Antonio replied and got up to answer the phone. He stepped outside to your balcony while you turn on the TV.

After three minutes or so, he stepped back in with a much brighter face. “Why are you so happy?” you asked. Whatever it was that Jay said on the phone has put Antonio at ease.

“I know I’m sure about one thing. That I always can count on a Halstead.” he smiled, pulled you in and continued where he left off.

[voidselfshipp]

Chaotic family dinner

Cw: food, ask to tag

Ok to rb

Summary: thor, loki, starlord, pietro and dr strange go to a family dinner with Tony, pepper, Peter and jerico, Shenanigans ensue.

A/n: I cracked up so much writing this fic, enjoy!

Strange stopped the car infront of tonys house.

-- now remeber-- he said-- behave, or jerico Will get in trouble

-- ah dont need to worry wizard-- thor said-- loki is taking all the mischief with him

Loki looks at his brother-- oh its on now

Meanwhile jerico waits in the porch with Peter.

-- what do you think they are talking about?--Spiderman asked putting an arm around his sister in reassurance.

-- probably stephe is lecturing them-- jer said-- god, I hope they behave, Last thing I need is them making a bad impression

Peter snorts-- hey the dinner with natasha and Carol went well

-- yeah because those two are the only civilized people on my relationshipp

-- ah Peter!-- pietro said lifting up jer--nice to see you Man whats up, didnt stay in the car, strange was getting boring--Jerico laughs as he kissed her-- I missed you

-- I missed you too

-- is the food ready?-- the sokovian Man said putting jerico back on the ground so she can say hi to the rest of her boyfriends

--almost-- Spiderman answered opening the door

Tony was happy to see most of them, but as soon as loki entered he scowls-- oh look who it is

Thor softly pats iromans back-- he'll behave

The god of mischief closes the door, pietro sets the table as jerico and both peters play videogames with Morgan.

--how was the dinner with natasha and Carol?-- dr strange asked serving the food-- jer dear the foods ready!

Everyone sits on the table Tony just shrugs-- fine, I never seen jerico that flustered

Jer sighs eating her food, pietro grins-- I did one time i--

Spiderman stomps on the speedsters foot looking at him with his eyes Open wide.

-- no no, let him finish-- ironman said.

-- Tony-- pepper said looking at her husband who grunts.

Thors food starts to Act up, he looks at loki who has a huge grin from ear to ear.

-- so, I know you all went to stay at the compound for a while-- Tony said-- anything interesting?

Jerico plays back in her mind all the chaotic Shenanigans that went on.

Loki, not missing one opportunity to rail thor up said-- thor Fell on the threadmill

Thor, already upset becuase hes been trying to eat his moving food who tried to scape his fork goes-- well, brother-- Spiderman takes jericos hand as both facepalm knowing whats Next-- If I remember correctly, I wasnt the one who got caught in the middle of--

Jerico and Peter Parker jump in-- lETS CHANGE THE SUBJECT!

Dr strange snorts eating his food enjoying the chaos before him

Starlord tries to help his girlfriend out-- me and jerico danced the night through to old 80s songs, we had such a Blast

-- oh you guys also saw footloose right?-- Peter P added.

-- you bet!

Pietro smiles mischeviously-- well you also slipped and fell flat on your ass

-- did you now Peter-- thor added.

Pepper looks at jerico who at this point is with her forehead against the table.

It quickly Turned in an argument between thor and starlord with loki putting more fuel to the Fire.

Jer looks at Tony, who in return just gives her a compassionate look--and you have to put up with this every day?-- he asked.

She nodds standing up.

Pepper leans in to Morgan-- remember when you told me you wanted to see your sister use her powers?well here you go-- Morgan smiles happily.

Jerico stands up, using her powers to knock out both Peter Q and thor.

She looks at loki-- you and I are gonna have a talk

-- you look so hot when you get angry-- pietro added winking at jer.

Stephen takes Jericos hand as she sits down again-- how long Will these two be out?

-- five more minutes I think-- she said eating her food.

Stephen nodds and keeps eating, the talking resuming into soft Adorable anecdotes and some more embarassing ones.

When both starlord and thor wake up jer pulls them outside with loki.

-- guys-- jer said putting her hands on her face-- you need to behave, two out of three of you have a bad record already okay? Just please...--she sighs leaning on the wall.

The three look at eachother and hug her tightly.

-- we're sorry dear-- thor said putting his chin ontop of jericos head-- we let our temper get the best of us

Starlord nodds-- yeah, ill just go back to making references with your brother, we Didnt mean to cause you any distress

-- we just want you to enjoy yourself, the most important people in your life getting togheter and we messed it up, we're sorry-- loki agreed.

Jer smiles hugging them tightly-- come on, our food Will go cold

They all go back inside and the night goes on without much fuss.

Peter Q stands up raising his glass-- a toast, for our lovely jerico, who is always there for Us even if we drive her up the walls...

Pietro stands up-- for accepting us rejects, from the most with unstable powers to the misunderstood

Loki raises his glass getting up from his Seat-- because she sees past the walls we put up

Thor copies his brother-- because she stays through good and bad, and loves us no matter what

Sighing dr strange also stands up, looking at jerico with tender eyes--to the best girlfriend, for everything she does for us, even when shes tired, who keeps Us in mind even when she shouldnt, we love you dear

Jer starts to bawl her eyes out, Peter Q, pietro and thor panic slightly as Spiderman hugs his sister.

Morgan softly hits dr strange-- you made my sister cry!

Pepper and Tony chuckle-- its happy tears honey -- they add.

-- you all are the best-- jerico says drying her tears.

--no dear-- dr strange added-- youre the best

She giggles and pepper looks at her-- something tells me you might need that chocolate Icecream now

Jerico nodds-- please mom

After dessert jer says goodbye to all of her partners and goes upstairs to sleep.

Stephen stands on the porch with Tony-- you raised her well Tony, shes a great kid

Iroman smiles-- well, you guys do a great job at making her happy, just one more thing, before you go strange

--Yes?

-- Keep her safe for me Will you?

He nodds-- of course

As Stephen walks to the car Tony adds-- and I dont want one more pop culture reference or innuendos!there are kids here!

Pietro rolls down the window-- We'll Keep it in mind mr stark!-- he said before being yanked Back into the car.

As they drive off jerico gets into bed,texting both natasha and Carol.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nat: so, howd it went?

Jer: not bad, we had a good time

Carol:Next week its date night ladies,dont forget that!

Nat: yes we know ms burnt popcorn

Carol: oh come on it happend once! Anyway, night jer!

Nat: uh-huh,anyway goodnight babe

Jer: night you two, dont get into trouble okay?, love ya♡

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jerico plugs her phone going to sleep,waiting for Next week to roll around to see all of her partners again.

Today was a good daym

[a-marlene-s]

So....

I am looking back on past posts of stories that I plan on writing. I thought I tagged them all... but I don’t know if I got them all.

Here’s what I have so far... (Keep in mind, the majority of them are from story prompts from other people or were from asks.)

Bruce Wayne Addams

Cousin Bruce.

Gomez and Morticia love their adopted nephews very much.

Dick is going insane.

I don’t remember if this is a crossover with Miraculous Ladybug. Let alone with my au, She’s an Addams!

She’s an Addams!

Marinette’s mother is Wednesday Addams.

Jagged Stone is an Addams.

Debating if she’ll be with Nino or Canon!Felix.

I don’t remember if this is a crossover with Batman. As I remember a scene where Jagged and knew each other back in college due to them being in a band together... now that I think about it... I think that was part of another story...

Quirk: Miraculous Ladybug

Marinette Dupain-Cheng: Thread Manipulation/Miraculous Ladybug

Adrien Agreste: Formerly Quirkless/Cataclysm

Alya Césaire (class deputy): Computer Interaction

Nino Lahiffe: Frequency manipulation.

Chloé Bourgeois: Paralysis Inducement

Sabrina Raincomprix: Invisibility

Rose Lavillant: Plant Manipulation

Nathaniel Kurtzberg: Digital Art Manipulation

Juleka Couffaine: Identity Manipulation

Lê Chiến Kim: Emotion Weaponry

Mylène Haprèle: Slime Manipulation

Max Kanté: Technological Combat

Alix Kubdel: Flash Forward

Ivan Bruel: Earth Transformation

Lila Rossi: Feign Damage

Aurore Beauréal: Weather Manipulation

Mireille Caquet: Omnilingualism

Jean Duparc: Miming

Luka Couffaine: Sound Manipulation

Marc Anciel: Ink Manipulation

Kagami Tsurugi: Elemental Manipulation.

For this au, it could be as is, or as a penpal au with Marinette being friends from someone from UA. Izuku, Shoto, Hitoshi or someone else.

Justice League Banned from Paris @vivilakitty

JL finding out they got banned from Paris. 

Someone visits for the holiday or some shit that brings them there related to the League.

They see the akumas and they wonder why no one called the league for help. Especially after seeing two kids fighting the Akuams.

"The hero's tried. They were just children when shit started. My kid is thirteen and is the size and age of our hero's were when they started! We tried getting ahold of the League. The Mayor, the heroes, civilians! Everyone! We got called a joke and were told never to contact them again. Then we got blocked."

Mayor decided to bane the League from Paris. If they did not want to help, then they are no longer welcomed in the city of Paris.

The call first got through to some random civilian communicator that goes along with the name of John Christan Ryan Mark Johnson, nickname… whatever the hell first comes up in someone’s mind. When League found out, Chad became a joke among the league and got demoted. Even so, the League went to Paris as civilians and did their best to help out.

There will be mayhem from the Batboys.

Turtle Bug @jacquesthepigeon

Where Fu chose not to put the cat miraculous in play and instead gave his own since Ladybug’s partner would need to protect her. He chooses Nino to be Carapace.

Paris’s anxiety ridden superhero duo is Ladybug and Carapace.

ONE MORE THING! @vixen-uchiha​  

Jackie Chan adventures. Jackie and Sabine are cousins. Jackie decided to take a much needed break from doing what he does best. He and Jade go to Paris to have a simple... fight free... vaca.... great... seems like their vacation is short lived.

What’s the Stitch? @kanamexzeroyaoifangirl

Kim Possible/Miraculous Ladybug crossover where Marinette and Kim are cousins though Gina. Lila lies about knowing and going on side missions with her when Marinette’s the one going on missions with her when she’s in town or visiting. Class minus Chole, Nathaniel, & Kitty Section believe and bully Marinette due to Lila’s lies. Kim shows up during it one Tommie then uses her connections to show the truth and take her down. All bullies are sued and are banned from the bakery.     

Presentation Day @art-deco-shrimp​

Ms Bustier assigns each of the students to do a report on someone they know, with a presentation at the end. They need to pick someone to report on, learn about their daily life, interview at least three people close to them, and then do a presentation on that person when the project is due in two weeks (arbitrary time limit is arbitrary). When Alya comments that it’s too bad that the restrictions mean a report on Ladybug is probably out of the question, Marinette suggests Ladybug’s best friend as a substitute. Alya can interview Lila’s parents as one source, Rose can probably connect her for a short Q&A with Prince Ali about someone who’s done so much for his charities, and Alya can even justify asking Ladybug some questions for the project this way!

The Delinquent  @rubixchick​

Lila assumed the older guy Marinette has been hanging out with lately, is just some delinquent due to the guy’s tattoo’s, pericings and ripped up clothes. Spinning her tales, Lila made it difficult for Marinette to hang out with this guy or trying to occupy her time by smothering her to no end. Things go bad to worse… for Lila when she accused Juleka’s brother, whom she never met before, being the delinquent.

Hear Me Out

Story idea from: @maxdark158​  Full prompt here: https://maxdark158.tumblr.com/post/187476540811/hear-me-out-ive-got-an-au-idea

Best Friends Adrien and Marinette. No love interest or love square here.

Marinette paired with either Damian, Tim, Jason, Dick, or someone from Dc.

Adrien, I don’t know if I want to pair him up with someone or if I do want to pair up him with someone, I don’t know with whom yet.

Adrien is protective of his best friend.

Lila Salt.

Alya Salt.

Passive (Agreste)sive.

Marinette Mode @vivilakitty​: Full prompt here: https://vivilakitty.tumblr.com/post/189567415622

Marinette takes on an apprentice ship under the one and only Edna Mode.

I know her, I’m close friends with her son~  @countingdowndays: Full prompt here: https://countingdowndays.tumblr.com/post/189602949856/prompt-lila-salt-adriens-mom

Adrien mentions the movie his mom stared in to the class. Lila latched onto it, claiming she personally knew the actress and that she could introduce Adrien to her. “Great, let me know what my mom says.”

OHSHC x My Hero Academia: My Hero Host Club @amynchan 

Ships: IzoOcha, BakuKiri, TodoMomo, TetsuKendo, OjiTooru, TokoTsuyu, JiroTama

Summary: Create a club they say. Create something to do in their spare time, they say. Do something creative, they say.

“WHY DID YOU FORCE ME TO JOIN A HOST CLUB!!!”

“In all honesty, you destroyed an expensive vase and you need to pay us back. And joining us, you could easily pay it back… unless you want to pay it out of pocket.”

Kyoka Jiro gripped her hair in frustration. Her parents had told her she needed to create or join a club. Her classmate had told her about the club she had created with her friends… but said friend never mentioned it’s a host club!

Record: Drag Her. @miraculouscontent

Tikki Records Lila's threats

Tikki records Lila's threat towards Marinette with the latter's phone. "Oh, and Marientte? Drag her."

My girlfriend could kick your butt!

Peter Parker got kidnapped and cannot use his abilities without exposing his identity to the whole wide web.

There he is, strapped to a chair with a camera facing and recording his every movement.

Then the bad guys started to threaten Peter that if he doesn’t talk, that they’ll use Peter’s girlfriend as leverage.

“My girlfriend could kick your butt!!!!”

Not even a minute later, the video fed went out and when it went back on, all the bad guys are knocked out and an unfamiliar girl is untying Peter from the chair, all the while apologizing for taking too long to get to him.

This is a debate on which one to write for Dragon Age Inquisition.

Warden Cullen

HoF!Cullen

Champion!Cullen

Inquisitor!Cullen

It will take place in DAI. Pairing are yet to be seen.

If I miss a story prompt, please tell me. I have lost count or I cannot find the posts.

[cagestark]

Better Late Than Never//1

And Merry Christmas to YOU

Aka I started another project that I will take twenty years to finish. But @starkerflowers prompts were just too fucking good.

About: With interest in his work waning, famous writer Tony Stark (under the pseudonym AE Potts) changes his entire public relations platform, which includes hosting a meet-and-greet contest where one lucky fan will get to spend the day with him. That one lucky fan is Peter Parker. Peter is 21. Will contain nff, alcoholism, suicide attempts, character death (not major), drug mentions, anxiety, anxiety attacks. 

Read here on AO3. 

-

Tony is awakened from a drunken, dreamless sleep by a tub of envelopes and small packages being upended over his head. He jerks upright with a shout from where he was slumped over his writing desk, upending the (empty) bottle of whiskey that had lulled him to sleep. Pepper stands over him, impeccable in every way he is not.

“Jesus Christ,” he says, pushing envelopes off of where they have pooled on his lap. “You could have taken my eye out, Peppercorn. What are you trying to do, perform Lingchi on me? What is all this?”

“Fan mail,” she says. Her voice is stern and unsympathetic. The first time she’d found him passed out drunk over his desk, she had panicked and nearly called for an ambulance. The next handful of times she had just covered him with a blanket and regarded him with sad eyes the next morning when she brought him coffee. But those were ten years ago. Not to mention, all in her first few weeks on the job— “Social media is revolting. You never answer fan mail, you never do Q&A’s, you haven’t done an interview in almost a decade.”

“Fuck this,” Tony mutters, opening one drawer. “Where’s my whiskey?”

“In your bloodstream, I’d imagine. Don’t brush this off, Tony. Sales are waning. We need to make some serious changes in our PR or I’ll be putting in my two-weeks’ notice.”

That gets Tony’s attention. Pepper hadn’t threatened to quit after his last book when he’d killed off one of the most popular characters (one of his personal favorites, may she rest in fictional peace) and the public had flipped their shit. She hadn’t threatened to quit years before that when she walked in on him hunched over his desk with a straw to his nose, three sheets to the wind on far more than just whiskey. She has the disposition of a mountain: unflinching and ever-enduring.

“You mean it,” says Tony.

“I mean it.”

His shoulders sag. He glances around the room: the mess, the junk, the empty alcohol bottles, the half-finished manuscripts. There’s a strange feeling in the back of his throat, acidic, like he might throw up. Or cry. When his mouth opens to say something sarcastic, something about not letting the door hit her on the way out if she expects him to play nice with the media, all that comes out is a broken: “I can’t lose you, Pep.”

She puts a hand on his shoulder. “You will. If you don’t make some changes. Okay?”

Maybe this is what it means to be balanced on a knife’s edge, where one way ends in pain and the other ends in terminal inconvenience. But he knows which one he has to pick. His whole life is just a big inconvenience, but pain? Tony has spent enough time with his hand flat against the stove’s burner to know that he’d rather die than feel it again, rather die than lose one of the only people left who can stand him.

He picks up the closest letter and tears it open, blinking heavily to clear his eyes. Pepper leans down to press a kiss to the crown of his head and then gags. “Take a shower, when you get the chance,” she mutters, smiling.

-

The letters start off by being good for one thing: his ego. Adoring fans have been writing to his penname and business address for decades since he put out his first super-hero novel, titled IRON-MAN. Pepper has chosen to give him recent fan-mail, considering he’s spent so long ignoring it that if he were to answer them in order of reception, he might encounter fans who didn’t even remember the letters once sent. Or ones who were dead.

They are all variations of the same thing. The handwriting changes, gentle feminine cursive to childish scrawling to neat block lettering, but the message is usually the same. DEAR MR. POTTS. I’VE READ EVERY BOOK YOU’VE EVER WRITTEN. I GOT YOUR NAME TATTOOED ON MY ASS. IRON-MAN IS MY HERO. I’VE NEVER READ PROSE AS LOVELY AS YOURS. WHAT IS YOUR SECRET?

At Pepper’s request, Tony drafts a generic letter to send in response, something about how he can’t respond personally to every letter but he wants them to know that he’s read what they’ve written and ‘holds it close to his heart’.

“It’s good,” Pepper approves. “Sign them yourself.”

“Good?” Tony says. “I was joking—this letter is trash. Anyone who knows me would see this for the sarcasm it is—”

“Then thank God none of the fans know you,” Pepper responds coolly.

She has a point. Tony has existed in relative seclusion since he first began publishing his works at 24. After twenty years, he’d managed to remain mostly anonymous. A pseudonym does most of the work, including non-disclosure agreements for his employees. Any time a presence is required, he sends Rhodey or Happy or Pepper even. Theory pages abound on the internet, sites devoted to finding out who the real AE POTTS is. Even though one picture leaked of him during the early 2000’s (a grainy godforsaken thing that didn’t even show his best angle), there were still some disbelievers. One popular conspiracy theory is that AE is Pepper, considering Tony stole her last name to use as his own.

Maybe that’s why his declining image in the media bothers her so much.

A week later, Tony’s hand has a cramp the way it hasn’t since he was a little boy learning to write his letters. Freehand has never been his specialty—it’s far too slow for the way his mind works, bounding a sentence, a scene, a chapter ahead. Signing so many letters is going to freeze his hand in a claw like position. He’s sure of it.

Then Pepper drops the next bombshell on him: the contest.

“It goes against everything I’ve been working so hard to do for the last twenty years,” Tony shouts at the zenith of their argument. “I do not want to be known! I don’t want the fame; I just wanted the goddamn fortune, is that too much to ask for?”

“Times have changed,” Pepper says through her teeth. She holds her own, spine straight. She hasn’t shirked away from his angry outbursts ever, not even when they were children growing up together in Manhattan. “I’m not asking you to do a 20/20 Special. I’m not asking for an interview on Ellen. I’m asking for you to meet with one fan. Have a goddamn lunch with them. If you can’t handle that, then you can kiss your fortune goodbye. Mark my words.”

Tony marks them. He fucking marks them, okay? When he’s drinking himself blind, locked in his office (good luck getting in now, Pep), they ring around his skull like a dime in the dryer. Sometime around dawn, she picks the lock on the door and mops his brow while he vomits in the tiny trashcan beside his desk.

“I’m not doing this to torture you,” she says with uncharacteristic tenderness. Her hand on his forehead occasionally rifling through his greasy hair is not what’s making his eyes prickle with tears—it’s the vomiting. Honest. He’s not that touch-starved. “You know that, right? I hate seeing you like this.”

“I know,” he chokes miserably, gagging again. So he agrees to the Willy Wonka Initiative. Pepper puts out the word that the infamous AE POTTS will be selecting a single fan to meet face to face. Anyone eighteen or older is eligible to participate, as long as they write a letter explaining why they should get it blah blah blah. A golden ticket might have been funner. At least then Tony might have had an excuse to wear the tacky purple suit and tophat.

In the meantime, Pepper reveals that she’s been having Happy screen his mail to only show him the happy letters—figures. His hate mail isn’t extensive, but it certainly exists, having increased exponentially since he killed off Natasha in the last novel.

FUCKING MYSOGINISTIC ASSHOLE, Cheryl from Newport tenderly writes. YOU HAD ONE GOOD FEMALE CHARACTER, AND YOU KILLED HER OFF. I HOPE ANOTHER WOMAN NEVER LETS YOU BETWEEN THEIR LEGS AGAIN AND YOUR DICK SHRIVELS OFF.

Tony thinks that’s pretty succinct. He posts it up on his desk propped up against the last picture ever taken of him and his mother. Killing off Natasha had been an idea he’d personally revolted against for months. Sure, it made sense that sensitive, strong Natasha would be the one to sacrifice herself in order to stop the villain from succeeding in wiping out half the universe. It made sense for a woman to be the one to give her life to protect others.

After all, hadn’t his own mother died trying to protect Tony?

The weekend after the contest drops on their social media platforms, Pepper texts to tell him that it’s being received far, far better than they might have ever hoped for. Already dozens of letters had been received, letters which must have been penned and mailed just hours after the news had spread.

Joy, Tony texts back.

I haven’t told you the best news, she says. That’s how Tony knows that the next news will be the worst news, absolutely the worst news of all. You get to pick the fan.

-

“Any letter catching your eye?” Pepper asks him over lunch in his office.

“They’re all the same,” Tony laments. Even his own ego can only take so much stroking. After a while, the fan mail has become mostly routine and lackluster, though he keeps opening it, keeps signing the response letters, keeps sending them out. “I’m going to end up picking one at random, Pep.”

“I don’t care how you pick,” Pepper says. “As long as you do—and as long as you’re ready to suffer with the consequences of your choice.”

“Suffer? God, I love the light you bring into my life. The unending optimism. The unparalleled faith and trust in me.”

Her eyes glitter even as they roll. “If you like me so much, you can buy lunch next time.”

Tony snorts, taking a large bite from his burger. “Gold digger.”

“I’ve seen your taxes, Tony. These days, there isn’t much gold to dig for.”

“Ouch, kill shot.”

-

The letter arrives only one week before the contest deadline. In the top drawer of his desk are three other letters from potential winners, mostly picked at random, sometimes because Tony likes their handwriting, sometimes because they say something funny that actually makes him laugh. When he opens up the letter from Peter B. Parker, he scans the first lines not intending to be impressed.

Dear Mr. Potts, Peter writes.

I’ve written you so many letters that it should be easy by now. I don’t know why my hands are shaking. Maybe I’m nervous because I know for certain that this one, someone will actually read.

I received my first copy of IRON-MAN when I was eight years old—yes, a little bit heavy for a kid that age, but my parents had just died unexpectedly in a car accident. My aunt and uncle took me in, and my uncle gave me his first edition. Iron-man’s story was one of the only things that got through to me as a kid. His struggle to come to terms with losing his own parents, his loneliness, his fear. The way he overcomes all of that and still goes on to do good…yeah. It meant a lot to a grief-stricken kid. Obviously.

Pretty much every birthday and Christmas, I end up receiving one of your books as a gift. My family and friends know me so well, I have nearly a half-dozen copies of AVENGERS (it’s one of my favorites). The things you write about are so close to my heart, so close to some of the experiences I’ve had in real life. My struggle with mental illness. My abuse and neglect. And the way you write these things makes me think…fear, I guess…that maybe you know something about them too.

I would love to get to meet you and talk about your incredible books. I’d love to get to know you. Not going to lie, as a fanboy, I’d probably be happy to just sit at the same table with you and have a meal. I’ll buy. We don’t even have to talk (okay I swear I’m not as desperate as I sound!). I’m sure you’ve received so many awesome letters, and I know that the fan you pick will be so, so lucky.

(Every letter I write to you, I ask if you could please return my book. It’s been five years since I sent it. I’m sure you don’t even have it anymore, maybe you threw it away from the start. But if you do have it, even if you don’t pick me to win the contest, it would mean so much if you sent it back. When I mailed it to you in Jan. 2014, my uncle was still alive. He’s gone now…anyway it’s one of the only things of his that I have left.)

Your fan always,

PETER.

PS: please disregard the last letter I sent…obviously.

Tony rereads the letter twice. He feels a swirl of emotion in his stomach, not dissimilar to the queasiness after a long night of drinking. This—this is what he sacrificed by being so closed-off from his fans. While he’d known that his fans were real and obviously human, a part of him had never felt the magnitude of it before. These are people with feelings and experiences. This Parker kid (a self-proclaimed fanboy) lost his parents too, and far younger than Tony had. In a car accident.

Maybe Peter hadn’t been there, hadn’t been in the car, hadn’t watched his mother parents go up in flames, but it’s still a tragedy all in its own right. And all at eight years old. Jesus Christ. This kid has been looking up to him for ten years and more, and he had no fucking idea that kind of dysfunctional altar he’d been worshiping at.

Tony goes into the private bathroom connected to his office and gags up—nothing. Drool. But it still leaves his mouth slimy, so he brushes his teeth until he’s spitting pink into the sink, and when he catches sight of the haphazard reflection in the mirror, he pities it. He leans forward to touch foreheads with it, auto-intimacy. Do better, some voice in the back of his head says, but it’s not his voice.

Happy picks up his cellphone on the first ring. Of the ninth call.

“What do you fucking want, Tony?” he hisses into the receiver. “I’m at the movie theater seeing that new Star Wars. You made me go out into the lobby—”

“Then I’m doing you a favor,” Tony says, cracking open the cap on a sparkling water. “Look, I have important questions, I wouldn’t have called otherwise. My fan mail—how much of it has Pepper kept?”

“Jesus, how should I know? Totes and totes full, at least—”

“Brilliant—”

“Why don’t you ask her yourself? I’m missing the movie!”

“Didn’t I say you’re not missing much? I’m asking you because Pepper will make me do it myself: I need you to find specific letters from one fan: Peter B. Parker. Address is Queens, but he could be from anywhere. I’m also especially interested in acquiring a package he sent me in January 2014.”

“Christ, could you be any more mysterious?” Happy mutters. “Text me the details you bastard, I’m not missing another moment of Mark Hamill.”

-

It turns out that Pepper is not only a saint in all ways previously mentioned, but she is a saint in this as well: his fan mail from the last ten years has been saved and meticulously organized by month and year of reception. Happy comes to Tony’s office in the city the next day with a package, the outside brittle but address clear.

The writing is the same script as the letter newly received from Peter, though the handwriting has become more mature over time. Neater. Confined. No more hasty slant from an enthusiastic hand. The kid’s contest entry is in the top drawer of Tony’s desk—the previous potential winners are now the cherries on top of the reject pile. His stomach is heavy as a stone while he tears open the five-year-old package.

Out tumbles a pre-addressed package that was meant to carry the book back to its owner, back to Peter. Then, one first edition of IRON-MAN, the cover a little tattered, the spine creaky. Also included is another letter, torn from a spiral notebook. He opens it with shaking hands.

DEAR MISTER POTTS

I KNOW THAT GETTING A RESPONSE FROM MY LETTERS IS A LONG SHOT, BUT I’M REALLY HOPING THAT YOU’LL AUTOGRAPH THIS COPY OF IRON-MAN AND RETURN IT TO ME. IT IS MY UNCLE BEN’S…

It goes on to describe how his Uncle’s birthday is coming up and Peter hopes to give the autographed book to his Uncle. Tony reads with a heavy heart, knowing now that Tony hadn’t bothered even opening the package, hadn’t tried to sign it—and even if he had, Ben hadn’t lived long enough to celebrate his next birthday. What a son of a bitch Tony is.

For the first time in three months, Tony goes home.

Most days he stays at the space he rents in the fancy Manhattan building, the one that holds his office and Pepper’s own workspace as well as the other people who work for him (Happy, Beck, Rhodey). The mansion outside Manhattan belonged to Tony’s father and his mother. When his mother had still been alive, it had been a cold place that he had endured staying at for her sake. After his mother had died, it had been a torture chamber, or worse—a stale, suffocating tomb.

Then Howard had died and somehow left it to Tony (probably out of some misguided duty to ‘keep it in the family’). Tony made a personal habit to visit it infrequently and stay there even less often; but Pepper maintains it for him, has it cleaned, keeps it safe. Uses it as storage, Tony knows. For his fan mail.

It takes up three entire rooms, floor to ceiling clear totes labeled with months and years. Just looking at it makes Tony feel small, ashamed of how little he cared about interacting with his fans. It’s no wonder sales were down. Searching for Peter’s letters would be like looking for a needle in a haystack—but he has to do it, and he can’t let Happy bear the brunt of the weight anymore either. This is on Tony.

So he begins pulling totes from the room and scattering their contents on the oaken table and floors of the dining room. Five hours and seven totes later, and Tony still has no letter from Peter.

Pepper finds him at midnight. She comes bursting in through the front door—Tony can hear the sound of the door colliding with the wall from the force she’s used—shouting his name. The hysteria in her voice chills him to the bone. It’s worse than the tone she uses when Tony fucks up; this is the tone she uses when there’s a Tragedy, when something is Wrong.

She finds him in the dining room surrounded by letters, kneeling up from where he was slumped on the floor. He must be a sight, but she is one too, her hair a mess, her eyes red. When she sees him, all the breath goes out of her, one hand clutching at her breast as the other grabs the back of a chair for support.

“Jesus, Pep, what’s happened? Is it your father, another heart attack—?”

“Why don’t you ever answer your goddamn phone, you bastard!” She says through heaving breaths. “You don’t leave the office for weeks and suddenly no one can find you, you won’t pick up your phone—”

It takes a long moment for the pieces to connect.

“Oh Christ,” Tony says, chidingly. “What, you were scared for me?”

She slumps into one chair and puts her face into her well-manicured hands. Tony drops back onto his ass. He’s not a good man, not a sensitive man. The last woman who had cried in front of him was his mother, and look at all the ways he had failed her. But the longer he sits letting Pepper cry, the more it feels like bamboo shoots growing under his tender fingernails. Fuck it. He gets up, knees creaking, and goes to her.

They sit side by side at the dining table no one has eaten at in twelve years. Pepper leans into him, her thin shoulders shaking. Shame makes his own eyes burn, because he thought what did she have to be afraid of? But maybe she saw his car in the driveway of the unhappy home he avoids and assumed that he’d come here to Hemingway himself. Maybe she sat in the drive steeling herself to come into the sight of his body.

“I’m going through the fan mail,” Tony says at last.

“I can see that,” she says. Her scathing tone drips with tears.

“I’m okay, Pep,” he says. He’s not sure if it’s true. He’s not sure if he’s been okay ever since he blinked awake upside down and suspended by the seatbelt in the back seat of his mother’s Cadillac, glass littering the roof (and the roof had become the floor, then, see? Because they were upside down), the smell of gas and smoke in his nose). Maybe he’s not okay. Maybe it’s all a fucking lie, but he’s not going to off himself. Not when there’s a mystery afoot. “I promise.”

She nods, one damp hand reaching out blindly for his. It’s an awkward angle to hold hands at, but he doesn’t complain. And awkward or not, it feels nice to be touched in a kind, even platonic way.

“What are you looking for?” Pepper asks at last, wiping at the wet, swollen skin beneath her eyes.

“Why? You want to help?” Tony asks.

“Might as well,” she says. “I always do your heavy lifting, don’t I?”

-

With Pepper’s help, they find the first letter. Somehow the Willy Wonka Initiative has reversed until Tony feels like a kid, ripping open chocolate bars, desperate for a glimpse of gold. At dawn, a cry echoes in the dining room startling Tony from where he was slumping against a tote, dozing.

“I’ve got one, Tony!” Pepper shouts. She’s barefoot, her panty hose taken off and folded on the table, her sensible jacket removed and slung over the back of a chair. Her rumpled shirt and tendrils coming free from her ponytail reveal how much energy she’s been putting into this with him—maybe to make up for her emotional outburst earlier, maybe like a mother humoring a child’s singular beneficial interest. “From Peter B. Parker, address is Queens, same as before.”

“What’s the date?” Tony asks. He slips in a pile of letters from last August and nearly breaks his neck. Wishful fucking thinking.

“Last May. Here—”

Tony takes the letter and collapses in a chair, his lower back grateful for the support. He recognizes Peter’s handwriting as he tears the letter open, and he can feel Pepper’s presence over his shoulder, reading along with him.

This letter is different from the others. Tony knows it right away. The first indication should have been the date; Tony’s most recent novel dropped early May of last year. His most controversial work to date, with praise glorious and venomous in kind. Which way did the scales tip when it came to Peter, Tony wonders.

I know that you won’t read this. I’ve written you twice a year since I was ten years old, and you’ve never written back. I don’t blame you. I’m sure you’re busy—I guess I just needed to get these words down somewhere, so that they exist, so that somewhere there is a record of me after I’m dead.

Tony reads the rest in a dazed blur. At one point, Pepper’s hand lifts to press against her mouth, but still they read on, huddled together for convenience and then for comfort.

In the letter, Peter describes the tragedy of his uncle’s death and how he felt personally responsible, and how after months of guilt, when he’d read about Natasha’s sacrifice, he’d decided to take action. Against himself.

If someone’s death can do so much good in the world, Peter wrote with shaky script. Then maybe mine could too. I’m not deluded or anything. I know that I’m not a superhero and that I’m not fighting against some sanctimonious super villain. But I feel like if my death could make May’s life easier, then I have to do it.

“Jesus. Tony, don’t read this—” Pepper reaches out for the letter but Tony nearly rips it in half trying to keep it away from her.

It’s not just for May, Peter admits. I’m ready to stop hurting, too.

Peter signs off, for good. Only it hadn’t been for good—Peter’s most recent letter had obviously proven that, and hadn’t he written it himself? Ignore my last letter, obviously, he’d said. Something must have changed Peter’s mind, but one thing was clear: it hadn’t been Tony. Because Tony had been so self-absorbed, so tangled in his own grief and ego and addictions he hadn’t even read the letter. If Pepper hadn’t saved it, then it might have been destroyed, no record left of Peter’s words at all.

“Tony,” Pepper says. She takes the letter from his fingers and he lets it go. His hands are numb. “This isn’t your fault. Peter obviously was unstable—he’d just watched his uncle being murdered in front of him. No one in their right mind would read Natasha’s death and think that you were encouraging them to take their own life.”

“I know that,” Tony snaps. Lying. Then: “I’m not an idiot, Pep.”

Maybe the biggest lie of all.

[thomas-mvller]

Tag games x 283129

Hello everyone so uh lately i've started to be more active on my music sideblog which means i've been hearting stuff like crazy for the past couple of months aka all the things i've been tagged in has been buried under all that nonsense SO because i hate leaving things undone i thought on doing them all at once and tagging a bunch of people so they can get a little distraction by doing them (as in, not all of them but whichever they might want to do)

Again: you do not have to do all of them, not even one if you don't feel like doing so! there's a game for everyone so hey!

Tagging: @havertsz @foreverbayern @germanynts @sherlockisonfire @debushit @sadiiomane10 @miasanmuller @elishamanning @abcde-fc @bbjim @littletentaclemonster @tamtam-elizabeth @minimalloss @pearfight and whoever wants to do this! if you see it, consider yourself tagged >:))

Alright, here we go:

1) I was tagged by @/tamtam-elizabeth and @/sadiiomane10 to post a capture of my lockscreen, homescreen and last song i listened to. Thank you both <3

I used to be very annoying when it came to changing my lock/homescreen so now i just don’t do that often anymore (previous to that my homescreen was a pic of lfc winning ucl OBVIOUSLY) also i haven’t really been listening to music lately but i did have a depeche mode phase like two weeks ago and this was the song i replayed the most so hey!

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2) “Get to know me” tag

Tagged by the always thoughtful @/tamtam-elizabeth , thank you and i’m sorry for taking so long ;-; <3

Name: Cloud

Birthday: sometime in november

Zodiac Sign: scorpio

Height: 5′4′’ or 1.65 (last time i checked..... which was like seven years ago)

Hobbies: lately it has been sewing facemasks 😂 that aside i like watching movies, random videos on yt, baking and crafting sometimes

Favorite colors: black, red and teal

Favorite Book: don’t think i have one :o

Last Song Listened to: barrel of a gun by depeche mode

Last Movie Watched: currently watching prince of egypt. if that doesn’t count then ben hur 😂

Inspiration or Muse: i really don’t know what to say here 😂

Dream Job: i still haven’t given up to my goal but at this point i just want a job that gives me stability and zero worries

Reason Behind my URL: Thomas Müller (German pronunciation: [ˈtoːmas ˈmʏlɐ]; born 13 September 1989) is a German professional footballer who plays for Bundesliga club Bayern Munich. A versatile player, Müller plays as a midfielde- okay no in all seriousness yess this url is bc of a football player 😂

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3) Ten songs playlist tag

Tagged by the joy that is @/foreverbayern and the always sweetest @/havertsz . thank youuuuu <3

Rules: We’re snooping through your playlist. Put your entire music library on shuffle and list the first 10 songs and then choose 10 victims.

Some months ago I made the mistake of transfering the songs i had in my old computer to my current laptop and there are some stuff that just........ should not be acknowledged so i can’t do shuffle HOWEVER i will choose ten random songs i’ve listened to/discovered this year (technically speaking is the same) so here it is:

art-i-ficial by x-ray spex

sunny afternoon by the kinks

desire lines by lush

paper cuts by incubus

pure love by hayley williams

spirit by bauhaus

no one knows by screaming trees

let’s love by suho

all we need is a dream by cheap trick

cosmonauts by fiona apple

bonus: you’re so close by peter murphy (god i adore this song)

I wouldn’t be surprised if these aren’t your cup of tea tbh 😂

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4) “Core aesthetic” tag

Tagged by @/havertsz - i’m sorry for the delay ;-; and thank you <3

rules: search your name + "core aesthetic" on pinterest, get a moodboard & select a few photos that come up

i can’t really use pinterest so i googled it instead, as you might’ve guessed this is what i got 😂

ps: i’ve been informed not to use pinterest so if you wish follow this post’s indications

ah this is so pretty, i loved doing this!

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5) 

Tagged by @/germanynts @/havertsz and @/elishamanning to do this tag, thank you all <3

rules: describe yourself with pictures you already have saved. no downloading or searching for new ones. then tag 10 people.

if you want further explanations for each pic... ask ahead 😂

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6) “bold what applies” tag

Tagged by the always enJoyable @/foreverbayern, thank yoooou <3

rules: bold what applies to you and tag a bunch of people

- Appearance

I am over 5’5 // I wear glasses/contacts // I have blonde hair // I prefer loose clothing over tight clothing // I have one or more piercings (had three...) // I have at least one tattoo // I have blue eyes // I have dyed or highlighted my hair // I have gotten plastic surgery // I have or had braces // I sunburn easily // I have freckles // I paint my nails // I typically wear makeup // I don’t often smile // I am pleased with how I look  // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I wear baseball caps backwards

- Hobbies and interests

I play a sport // I can play an instrument // I am artistic // I know more than one language // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition // I can cook or bake without a recipe // I know how to swim // I enjoy writing // I can do origami // I prefer movies to tv shows // I can execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing // I could survive in the wild on my own // I have read a new book series this year // I enjoy spending time with my friends // I travel during school or work breaks // I can do a handstand

Relationships

I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year // I have a crush  // I have a best friend I have known for ten years // my parents are together // I have hooked up with my best friend // I am adopted // My crush has confessed to me // I have a long-distance relationship // I am an only child // I give advice to my friends // I have made an online friend // I met up with someone I have met online

- Aesthetic

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell // I have watched the sunrise // I enjoy rainy days // I have slept under the stars // I meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // I enjoy the smell of the beach // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to music to fall asleep (i did that for a long time and i sicnerely don’t recommend it) // I enjoy thunderstorms // I enjoy cloud watching // I have attended a bonfire (quick story time: one time when i was 12 my friends and i sneaked into our seniors’ school anniversary activities and they lit this huge bonfire near the football field, it was nuts) // I pay close attention to colours // I find mystery in the ocean (spoopy shit) // I enjoy hiking on nature paths // Autumn is my favourite season

- Miscellaneous

I can fall asleep in moving vehicles // I am the mom friend // I live by a certain quote(s) // I like the smell of sharpies // I am involved in extracurricular activities // I enjoy Mexican food // I can drive a stick-shift // I believe in true love // I make up scenarios to fall asleep // I sing in the shower // I wish I lived in a video game // I have a canopy above my bed // I am multiracial // I am a redhead // I own at least 3 dogs

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my god this is getting embarassing i had stuff long due ;-;

7) 

Tagged by @/tamtam-elizabeth. think you for thanking on me when doing tag games, i mean it :-: <3

How old are you?: 24

Surgeries?: one

Tattoos?: none yet ://

Ever hit a deer?: i have never seen one so... no 😂

Sang karaoke?: yeah... years ago 😂

Ice skated?: nope

Ridden a motorcycle?: had the chance but nope

Ridden in an ambulance?: nope

Skipped school?: a handful of times

Stayed in a hospital?: for a few hours

Broken bones?: nope

Last phone call?: i haven’t called anyone in ages 😂

Last text from?: my mom

Pepsi or coke?: coke but i don’t mind having pepsi

Favorite pie?: haven’t had one

Favorite pizza?: chorizo + corn + red pepper

Favorite season?: autumn

Received a ticket?: don’t even know how to drive

Favorite color?: black, red and teal

Sunset or sunrise?: both!

Favorite Christmas song?: don’t think i have one, maybe universe by exo?

Cupcakes or cookies?: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh good q, cookies?

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8) “find your match” tag game

Tagged by @/tamtam-elizabeth, you’re allowed to punch me in the face at this point

Rules:

Take the test

Reblog this post with what type you got

Tag 7 mutuals to do the same!

I got the Dreamer and my ideal partner would be The Innovator ?)

Seek out opportunities to collaborate with INNOVATOR types, who combine your lofty idealism with a focus on pragmatic solutions. The grounding energy of the INNOVATOR can inspire you to apply your imagination to real-world change.

that’s deep fam 😂 but okay!

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9) “get to know me tag”

Tagged by: @/littletentaclemonster . thank you and sorry for the delay ;-; <3

nickname: cloud zodiac: scorpio height: 5′4″ / 1.65 last movie I saw: can you believe i managed to watch another thing while making this? anyway it was The celluloid closet last thing I googled: block site extension favorite musician: as of right now? depeche mode song stuck in my head: you’re so close by peter murphy other blogs: @/brltpop and @/s-lay-ing amount of sleep: as long as i can get (usually 7 or 8) lucky numbers: don’t think i have one dream job: whatever gives me stability what am I wearing: pajamas  favorite food: chinese, mexican and italian language: which ones do i know? spanish and english somewhat. i want to learn japanese and german :c can I play an instrument: nope favorite song: atm is YOU’RE SO CLOSE (8) random fact: my nails usually grow sort of square except for my thumb and index fingers, they grow round for whatever reason describe yourself in aesthetic things: ?????????? idk man, messy room? loose clothes? football? cd’s on a shelf, posters on the walls ?????

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MY GOD WHY AM I LIKE THIS????????? 

10)

Tagged by @/littletentaclemonster you too can punch me in the face

Rules: Bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR: I have small hands • I love the night sky • I watch small animals and birds when I pass them by • I drink herbal tea • I wake to see dawn • The smell of dust is comforting • I’m valued for being wise • I prefer books to music • I meditate • I find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE: I don’t have straight hair • I like to wear ripped jeans • I play an organized sport  • I love dogs • I am not afraid of adventure • I love to talk to strangers • I always try new foods • I enjoy road trips • Summer is my favorite season • My radio is always playing

WATER: I wear bracelets on my wrists • I love the bustle of the city • I have more than one set of piercings • I read poetry • I love the sound of a thunderstorm • I want to travel the world • I sleep past midday most days • I love dimly lit diners and fluorescent signs • I rewatch kids’ shows out of nostalgia • I see emotions in colors not words

EARTH: I wear glasses/contacts • I enjoy doing the laundry • I am a vegetarian • I have an excellent sense of time • My humor is very cheerful • I am a valued advisor to my friends • I believe in true love • I love the chill of mountain air • I’m always listening to music • I am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER: I go without makeup in my daily life • I make my own artwork • I keep on track of my tasks and time • I always know true north • I see beauty in everything (sort of) • I can always smell flowers • I smile at everyone I pass by • I always fear history repeating itself • I have recovered from a mental disorder • I can love unconditionally

Water an aether huh, i don’t know what to do with this information 😂

/////////////

if you ask me i would very much appreciate it if you do the songs playlist tag bc i need recommendations thanks. Also massive apologies to the ones that were due since last year I had them in my drafts i swear!

Stay safe everyone :D

[jthiskey]

J.T. Hiskey And Lil B Raise Significant Money For BLM

jt hiskey

Q: Please introduce yourself to the readers and how you first got into this field of work –and who were some of your influences growing up?

j.t. hiskey

I’m Louie. I’ve always been into music. I was influenced by Twisted Sister, Guns n Roses, then Metallica, Black Sabbath, and Nirvana, then punk bands like The Ramones, Nofx, and The Riverdales, then got into Ritchie Blackmore and Peter Green.

jthiskey

I’m Jose. My parents introduced me to different musical styles from their vast LP record collection and from the radio when I was growing up. From The Beatles to Styx to Lionel Richie and Cindy Laupner. Then as I got older I gravitated to Sound Garden, Pearl Jam, Veruca Salt, Blink 182, Fuel, Oasis, Sum 41, Creed.

Q: What kind of training have you had, if any?

Louie: I took a guitar class in high school, one in college, and had 1 month of singing lessons.

Jose: I had music lessons with the Accordion, the Guitar but didn’t keep up with them. Q: What has been your favorite project to work on so far?

Jose: Equine abduction…

Louie: The Manhattan Project. just kidding. Q: What sports do you enjoy watching?

Louie: hockey, hockey, and hockey.

Jose: Basketball Q: What is it that you are hoping to accomplish?

Jose: We want to share our music with the world in the hope that they enjoy it. We hope that it might touch someone in a profound way or encourage them to keep on going despite the challenges they may face.

Louie: I’m hoping to accomplish having music being my life and having people hearing my/our music. Q: What has been one of the biggest highlights/achievements of your career so far?

Louie: Being played on the radio. Jose: And we really loved having someone doing a cover of one of our songs. To see it for yourself someone really digging your song was just amazing to see. Q: If you had a chance to work alongside anybody who would that be?

Louie: Anybody famous, haha

Jose: Really anybody who is serious about doing something special, would be an honor Q: What is your creative process like?

Jose: There’s usually something that affects my emotional state or story I want to express. I’ll write it down or text it to myself. As I work on the lyrics or a chorus or group of words that sounds great, I’ll then bounce it across Louie. He has the mind to really pick things apart and find better words that make the song lyrically singable and playable on the guitar. I don’t know chords so I have to reproduce the sound that I have in my head and Louie can pick up very quickly the chord I’m looking for. There have been many times where he will hit a chord by mistake and I’m like Wait, Play that Again! That’s perfect! Sometimes, we work on songs for as little as half an hour or hour and other times up to a month of constant back and forth. We record it on our phones and listen to it, work on it more to really perfect it and practice it for Recording at Sonic Palace Studios.

Louie: My creative process varies. Sometimes I’ll have a vocal melody in my head or a topic I want to write about, and I’ll make music to fit that. Or sometimes I’ll have a guitar riff or melody and work around that. Other times I’ll hear a song or riff, and it’ll “inspire” me (read: ripoff, haha) Q: Are there any funny stories during practice or recording?

Louie: A funny story was you writing what you thought the lyrics for mothers’ smiles were, compared to what they actually were.

Jose: Yeah I remember that I thought I heard the words right but was way off. I also remember there I was struggling to get “The last party of the Summer” down pat and Louie was like, ‘hey you’re getting caught between the lines’. And I looked dead set at him when he suggested to change it up to make it easier for me, and I said, “I don’t wanna change the song just because I can’t sing it.” We cracked up and I listen to that blooper and it cracks me up every time. Q: How do you feel the Internet has impacted the music business?

Jose: The internet has made things easier for indie artists to show their artistic side, whether it’s in music or any other form. You can have an idea, record it digitally and share it with the world almost instantly. I feel the music industry has controlled things to their own detriment and the detriment of artists. Now anyone can make music and be heard around the world, get paid for their music without labels hogging it all.

Louie: I think the internet killed the radio star. That whole file-sharing royalties issue exposed a lot of artists as greedy, “in-it-for-the-money”, and, as image is very important to popular music, it was very damaging to the “rock n roll image”. On the other hand, the internet is fantastic for artists who just want their music to be heard. Q: What would you change in the industry if you could?

Jose: The major problems that artists face when trying to share their music is funding, time, and the resources to really have an impact in reaching listeners. Being independent means it’s all on you to do everything to make your music, get gigs, sell your songs, collaborate with other artists etc. There has got to be a better way for the industry which really won’t change due to their greed. If you removed that element, you would see more artists featured that have great music to share to the world that you wouldn’t otherwise hear in today’s music paradigm. It would be great if artists that were really successful, support other artists with a fund that they could use to make their music. I would support that.

The major hurdle for indie artists are just getting people to listen to your stuff. Radio is still king and even with all of the online platforms it’s hard to get people to listen to your stuff. There is just so many other bands out there with great music that I’m still discovering until this day. The industry pushes those out for whom and only whom THEY want to elevate, really those that can make them the most money.

Louie: If I could change the music industry, I’d slow it down. Not tempo-wise, but the music industry runs its artists into the ground. The constant touring, and deadlines, stuff like “you need to have this album released by this date” kinda suppresses creativity. Let them have a break. Give them time to write good songs. Q: What is the best advice you’ve been given?

That you can do things yourself. It takes hard work, time and energy but it’s worth it in the end to be able to create things and mold things to how you want them, just not how others would bend it into towards their vision. Don’t waste time or mental energy on those who are flakey or really don’t fully support what you are trying to do. Q: What’s next for you?

Louie and I will continue to record and release singles, collaborate with other artists to record songs and release more singles and maybe a few more albums. It would be easier to concentrate on our music if we could put our jobs and bills on pause. But Life keeps rolling along and we are trying to hold on during its ride. Despite it all we will keep on Rockin!

[cyberwolfwrites]

#22--May 5 2019

Dad?

“Hey, kid, how was your day?” Tony asks, driving off when Peter jumps into the car.

“It was great!  Had a Spanish test that I actually studied for, so that’s good.  We had an assembly today so classes were shorter than normal, which was even better.  And–hey!  Where are we going?” Peter asks, looking over at Tony as they don’t head in the direction of the Compound.

“We,” Tony says, flashing him a smile, "are going to this cute little Italian restaurant.  And before you say anything, no, I am not going to let you pay, Peter, and don’t you even think of choosing the cheapest item on the menu because this restaurant is not the most expensive place in the universe and I am literally a billionaire.“

Peter’s jaw clicks close from where he was going to bring up that exact thing.  "What’s it called?” he asks instead.

“La Regina,” Tony says, looking over at Peter with a raised eyebrow.  “You know what it means?"  The kid scoffs, sounding offended that the man thinks that he doesn’t know what the restaurant title means.

"The Queen,” Peter tells him smugly.  Peter had once let it slip that he knew Italian when he was little but he and his aunt hadn’t gotten into the habit of speaking it when he started middle school.  Tony, also needing to practice his Italian, offered to start speaking in Italian to the kid.  Tony’s teased Peter endlessly because it turns out that the kid is rustier than Tony was even though the last time the man spoke the language was over a decade ago.

“You sure about that?” Tony teases the kid, making Peter roll his eyes.  “Guess where the restaurant is."  Peter blinks at the sudden change.

"Um… Queens?"  Peter asks, making Tony smirk at him.

"Nope, Brooklyn."  Peter stares at him blankly for a few moments before Tony breaks his composure, laughing as Peter stares at him.  "What?  It is in Queens.  And that was a good joke!”

“No, no it wasn’t, Mr. Stark,” Peter says before shaking his head.  “That was such a dad joke.”

“Well I’m not a dad, am I?"  Tony snarks back at him.  "How can it be a dad joke if I’m not a dad?"  He rolls his eyes at Peter’s burst of laughter, shoving his shoulder as he parks the car.  "C'mon, let’s go.”

Peter jumps out of the car, excited, staring up at the restaurant.  It’s near a lot of the other fancy restaurants in Queens, restaurants that he and his aunt can’t afford.  Tony whistles to catch Peter’s attention, throwing an arm over the kid’s shoulders and pulling him into the restaurant door.

Tony talks with one of the staff as Peter looks at the interior.  It’s not long before the man’s pulling him up the stairs nearby and into a more private room where there are fewer people to recognize Tony Stark.  “This is a great little place, isn’t it?” Tony says, picking up the menu and looking it over, Peter doing the same.

“It’s really cool, Mr. Stark!  Thanks for bringing me!” Peter says, grinning at his mentor and looking at the menu as well.  “What are you thinking of getting?  I’m thinking of… lasagna.  What about you?"  Tony raises an eyebrow at Peter’s choice of food.

"What?  No pizza?” Tony asks sarcastically.  “I think I’ll get the lasagna, too, then.  And maybe a small pizza on the side."  Peter hums at the choice, his eyes lighting up.

"Margherita of Naples?” Peter asks, making Tony nod his head.

“Great!” Tony says, clapping and rubbing his hands together, nodding to the waiter who had been standing off to the side waiting for them to make their choices.  “Two lasagnas, a small Margherita of Naples pizza, and two waters, please."  The waiter nods and immediately runs off, leaving Peter and Tony to themselves.

"So, what’s the reason you brought me here?” Peter asks, leaning on his hand.  Tony raises an eyebrow and him and Peter rolls his eyes.  “Every time you’ve taken me to a restaurant you’ve either told me that you have a mission that I can’t go on, a mission that I can go on, or something important has happened.”

Tony shakes his head, mentally cursing the kid for being so smart.  “Okay, nothing bad has happened, kid,” Tony starts, ignoring Peter’s sarcastic look.  “Really, I’m not joking.  It’s just that I wanted to ask you something.  Something important."  Peter looks at Tony in slight worry, sitting up in his seat and looking at his mentor in concern.

"Is something wrong?” Peter asks immediately, eyes widening slightly.

“No!  No, no, no, no, no.  Nothing’s wrong, Pete,” Tony says, waving his hands back and forth slightly.  “It’s just that the Rogues have been pardoned and they’ll be coming over to the Compound a few weeks after school ends for you."  Tony hesitates for a few moments at Peter’s furrowed eyebrows.  "And I wanted to know if you wanted to spend the summer at the Compound with me.  And before you say anything about your aunt, she’s going on vacation with Happy.”

Peter makes a slightly disgusted look.  The two had been seeing each on the days that Peter stayed at the Compound.  Tony had been asking the man to take May to work and back home and it seems like they’ve gotten to know each other over that time.  Chuckling at Peter’s look, Tony perks an eyebrow.  “So what d'you say, kid?  Wanna spend the summer over at the Compound?  And don’t worry about your aunt.  She’s already told me that you can spend the summer with us.  So, what do you think?”

Peter’s eyes light up as a grin grows on his face.  “Of course!  Oh my God, it’s going to be so much fun!  We can spend more time in the labs and I can go on more missions, and it’s going to be so much fun!"  Tony grins as the kid keeps chatting on about all of the things that they can do now that he’ll be staying there full time, only stopping when the waiter, a different one this time, brings their food.

Tony nods to them and they both dig in, conversing about what they can do over the summer.  Apparently, there’s this MIT competition where kids in high school can join a science fair for a chance to win a scholarship to the school.  And if Tony makes a mental note of that?  Nobody needs to know.

Throughout eating their meal, everything is normal.  It’s only when Peter begins to eat the pizza that he worries.  Peter frowns after finishing the first slice of the food, blinking in confusion.  Tony puts down his fork, a heavy feeling settling in his stomach.  "Pete, what’s wrong?”

Peter shakes his head.  “Dizzy,” he murmurs, his chest beginning to heave.  “C-Can’t breathe.  Some-somethin’s wrong."  When Peter begins to slump in his chair, Tony takes action.

"Hey, you!” Tony shouts at the nearby waiter, startling the kid.  “Pack up our food for us, quickly!"  Tony grabs Peter’s wrist, feeling for a pulse, swearing under his breath as the waiter finishes packing up their food in take-out containers.  "Here, keep the change,” Tony says, activating his nanotech armor prototype and throwing a couple hundreds at the poor waiter.  Grabbing his kid and the food, Tony flies off as quickly as he can, telling Friday to get someone to pick up his car for him.

It takes ten minutes to reach the Compound, a startling feat considering how far away it is from Queens.  “What’s wrong with him?” Helen asks as Tony flies into the medical wing, putting the kid on a bed.  Tony shakes his head.

“I don’t know, but I think he’s been poisoned,” Tony says, his voice coming out in a panic.

“Tell me the symptoms,” the woman orders Tony, grabbing a q-tip to gather the kid’s DNA.  “Friday, run every possible test on this, will you?  Do you have what he was eating, that would be helpful."  Tony all but throws the take-out containers at the woman, who puts them in a machine that Tony recognizes as a mass spectrometer. 

"He-He told me that he was dizzy,” Tony stutters out, disengaging his suit and beginning to pace, keeping a careful eye on his half-conscious kid.  “And that he couldn’t breathe, but he was breathing fine.  And he didn’t say it though I know that he had a headache."  Helen nods her head as she checks Peter’s pupil dilation.

"Friday, what d'you got for us?” Helen asks the AI, looking over at the machine that can run every test possible on Peter’s DNA.

“It appears that Mr. Parker has been poisoned with cyanide,” she informs them, making Tony’s face pale.  “The best course of action would be to use the CYANOKIT.”  A cabinet door pops open, revealing the kit.  Tony runs over to it, grabbing it as Helen gives the kid an IV line.

“Give it to me,” Helen says, grabbing the small bottle.  “Usually you’ll administer the antidote over a fifteen minute period, though with Peter’s abilities we can use it as an injection."  (This is complete bullshit and false.)  As she says this, she grabs a syringe, and puts it into the IV, pushing down the plunger.

Tony doesn’t remove his eyes from Peter as the woman administers the antidote.  "Okay, that’s all?” Tony asks the woman as she begins cleaning everything up.

“Yep, that’s all,” the woman says, throwing the items away.  “He’ll be fine, though I’d advise you have the police investigate who gave you that pizza.  That’s what was poisoned."  Tony nods his head.  He already had the police notified when he flew over to the compound.

"Thanks, Helen,” Tony calls out as she walks out of the room.  She nods her head, closing the door and leaving the unconscious kid alone with him.

“Sir?  If I may?” Friday says tentatively into the room.

“What’s up, Fri?”

“Something came up when I analyzed Mr. Parker’s DNA,” the AI says, causing Tony to sit up in worry.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, worry easily leaking into his voice.

“Nothing is wrong sir, though it appears that yours and Mr. Parker’s DNA shares multiple similarities,” she says, making Tony tense up and look up at the ceiling in confusion.

“What are you saying, Friday?”

“When Doctor Cho told me to run every test possible, I did,” Friday informs the man.  “That included a paternity test.  And it appears that you and Mr. Parker share the same DNA.  You and Mr. Parker appear to be father and son, Boss.”

Tony freezes for a few minutes.  “W-What?  How is that possible?  Peter’s father died with his mother.  I am not his father.  That’s impossible,” Tony splutters.

“It is entirely possible, sir.”

“You’re telling me that I have a kid?” Tony asks. "That this kid,“ he gestures to Peter, "is mine.”

“It appears so, Boss.”

Tony’s next statement is cut off by a very groggy sounded murmur.  “Dad?” Peter says, his head lolling to the side to look at Tony.  Tony freezes at the question.  Peter’s begun to call the man his dad, but now it has a different meaning.  Because it is truer than either of them thought.

“Yes, Pete?” Tony asks.

“Are you my dad?”  And shit the kid heard everything.

First of a series, I guess

[spnfanficpond]

December 2019 Pond LiveChat Recap - Structuring Longer Plots

We had a great time chatting with @jhoomwrites​, today! Thank you so much for joining us and sharing your wisdom and experience!

Our chat was all about structuring longer plots, filler vs plot, and the different types of structures that are out there. (Mostly, we talked about how we don’t always have a structure in mind when we’re writing, and how we deal with it when a story breaks apart the structure we’d so carefully constructed.) A rundown of the chat, as well as general Pond news, is below the cut!

For those who don’t know her, Ashley is an avid writer, not just of fan fiction. She’s popular on Tumblr and AO3 for Destiel stories of all lengths, from little emoji ficlets she bangs out from requests (where followers send her a short string of emojis and she writes a story using them all) up to epic stories. She’s currently working on a hockey fan fiction that was her NaNoWriMo project, but with 120 SPN works on AO3, we’ve got plenty to read while she’s distracted with her hockey boys! (I’ve convinced her to be a member of the Pond, so hopefully we’ll see her around a lot in the future!)

We started off talking about how long our fics can get ( @katehuntington​ won with her Sullivan Series, which is currently at 570k), and whether we’re planners or pansters or a mix. Kate and Ashley are both kind of mixed, while @mrswhozeewhatsis​ has never successfully outlined a story, yet. 

Q: Was My Liege Lord (her longest at around 80k) planned or pansted?

Ashley: It was both. I had planned out some things, but then I got new ideas as I went that I wanted to explore and it padded out the length. I had a whole fic worth of plans, but just the amount of time in their lives I ended up covering necessitated adding things. Kate: I do that too. I stick to the plan, but I add soooooo much stuff along the way.

Q: When you write, and plan out a story, do you use a particular structure?

Ashley: I haven't written out a plan for a fic in some time, but I was really consistent with the style I used for a while. I would do a chart with the main plot points to the left, and then details (excerpt of dialogues, notes about specific scenes, etc) to the right. Here’s an example:

Ashley: It helps me when I get ideas later, I can find parts in the story by looking to the left and then add notes. It's my favorite way to plan out a story, especially if I know it will be multiple chapters and if I might not be starting it any time soon. This is much nicer than the outline for the story I'm working on now, which is just a list of events in chronological order (and another list of "things i could add but i don't know where this goes"). I wrote the outline about a day before I started so I didn't need as much structure.

Q: Having a plan helps, then?

Ashley: I didn't used to plan, but then I started a multi-chapter fic and realized...... I don't have an ending. So, I like to plan that out to make sure I have an actual beginning, middle, and end. Michelle: When I start, I have an idea and an ending. That’s it. All my stories have the same ending, though: And then they kissed and lived happily ever after!

Kate: It does give freedom, not having a detailed outline.

Ashley: That is true, it does make me sad when I get somewhere in the outline and there's something I'd liked, that I'd wanted to include, but it doesn't work anymore and I have to scrap it. Gotta balance sticking to the outline vs adapting to how the tone/characters have developed.

Q: Is your planning method something you learned, or something you developed? And do you use the same structure for all of your stories?

Ashley: Something I developed. I haven't had any real training or instruction in writing. I was struggling with longer fics being unorganized and not coming together at the end, so I needed something for myself. I like making charts, so I figured that was a good way to start! lol It's not something I do as much, anymore. It was a great tool when I started doing it, and I did it for years... but possibly because I've gained more writing experience with longer stories, I don't need to do it anymore. I start a fic with a general idea, I figure out where that idea is going, and start writing. I do more of a mental checklist now. Of course, for original stories, things I hope to one day publish, I will still outline.

Q: Do parts of your structure have names? A quick Google search on how to structure novels brought back about a lot of different methods for structuring a novel, all with different numbers of steps. Each step had a general idea, like rising action, climax, falling action, etc. I guess I mean, what parts of a story do you feel need to be there for it to work? What are the parts of your structure?

Ashley: Having never paid particular attention in my English classes, I would be hard pressed to put names on different parts of my story structure. I view it as beginning (set up, putting things in place), middle (the actual story more or less, all of the action), and ending (wrapping things up, resolution).

Q: When you half wing it and the story is coming along, and then you hit a plot hole, how do you handle that? 

Ashley: Well uh... **points vaguely towards abandoned WIPs** it can be rough. I do have some people I work with in terms of brainstorming. And if I get stuck with a fic I'm committed to, that I'm enjoying writing, then I talk it through with them. Sometimes, those issues are coming up--not because the story wasn't outlined--but more because I've just lost that spark of interest that I had before, and it's time to move on, anyway.

Q: There was a question submitted to the Pond by @kittenofdoomage​ about filler vs. plot.

Ashley: I think that's a real issue I face, filler vs plot. For some stories, I feel like I write a chapter and then can't really see what it adds to the story except maybe giving more characterization. My Liege Lord, I can think of some examples... and sometimes those things are cool, they're fun little ideas to explore and that's the only universe you could do it in, so you do it maybe for your own sake more than the story's. I think there's also a difference between reader and writer perceptions of what's filler. For my current project, there are scenes I wanted to include because I felt they were necessary to the plot, but I got the impression from people I'd polled that they would not be interested in those scenes (basically it's a romance and I was going to include things that were not directly related to the romance aspect and they said if it was more than a few paragraphs or so they didn't care). Michelle: I struggled with that with The Babysitter. Almost half of that fic is flashbacks to when the brothers were growing up and how their relationship with the reader developed. I considered cutting them all, but the fic felt thin. Sometimes, I'd pop a flashback chapter in there just to slow down the action in the present a bit, if you know what I mean. Like, chapter X is the night before the big battle, and chapter Y is the big battle, but it felt rushed to just go from X to Y, so I stuck D in between them. Ashley: Yeah, pacing is important, so the "filler" can help regulate that. It might also depend on if you view stories as about the plot or about the characters. If you view it as plot, then yes, you don't want that non-plot filler. If you view it as characters, then the filler doesn't necessarily move the story, but it adds depth and dimension to the characters and makes you appreciate them more. (I mean... I love the characters so much, I'd watch an episode of them just doing chores around the bunker...no plot, just them.) Kate: I just write what I feel like is right. Plus, I’m a sucker for a slow burn myself, so I’m not scared to let the readers wait.  I like to use fillers as a stairway to the big reveal or moment. What I love even more is to put a lot of foreshadowing in there, so when they read it the second time, they go: oh! Rhi: The thing is that I've found is that filler serves a lot of purposes. As mentioned above it's great for dropping a bit of foreshadowing. It's also great for expanding your background and making your characters more than two dimensional. It also gives your readers a breather. Especially if it's a heavy plot. I often find myself rambling in filler, which is where rereading is key. With longer stories, I have a brief outline of what I want. Sometimes I'll write the major points first, the ending etc then follow up with the filler. On occasion, your filler will end up imploding your plans but that's cool. That's when you either roll with it or take a break and neither of those are bad choices. It depends on the individual.

Q: (In one of the articles linked below) Peter Behrens mentioned a novel idea. He basically said he doesn’t worry about structure until the revision stage. He writes what he wants to, and then when he’s revising, he tweaks the story to fit whatever structure it fits to best.

Ashley: I do like that, and that's something that @unforth-ninawaters​ has mentioned. We're working on shorter stories that would need to be under 7.5k and I said I don't know if I could hit that. She said to write the whole story, even if it's longer, and then have someone edit it with an eye to shorten it, if necessary, and you'll probably end up with a tighter story that way. So, basically, that's how I view writing things, now. I write what I want to write for the story, and if it needs to go, it'll disappear later in the editing process. But what if it does belong? Well, then it's there, already. And yes on slow burns... for fic, it's a staple, and for WIPs, it's part of the lure, the draw in, as a reader--knowing that maybe they will maybe they won't hook up this week.

To close out the chat, we talked about the story structures listed in the following two links:

How to find your novel’s structure - This article discusses the traditional 5-stage plot structure (exposition, rising action, climax, falling action and resolution) and the 3-act structure (setup, confrontation, resolution), as well as some other points, like how characterization can affect structure.

Writing Cooperative -  Use a story structure to make writing your novel a lot easier - This article lists several structures, and includes links to read more about each one and their strengths and weaknesses. Different stories might do better under different structures, too. A romance novel wouldn’t necessarily need the 12 steps in The Hero’s Journey.

These links are definitely worth checking out if you have any fears or concerns about your story’s structure!

Next month we’re going to talk about Real People Fiction! We’re still looking for a guest speaker, so if anyone is interested, send a message to @mrswhozeewhatsis​!! Date and time to be announced!

General Pond Updates and Reminders

What we’ve got cooking up next: Not much, at the moment, since everyone is busy, so we’re just trying to keep up with the day-to-day at the moment! Our to do list is still long, though, and will not be neglected forever! Next up is organizing the tagging system on the blog to make it easier for readers to find the stories they’re interesting in and for writers to find the help they’re looking for!

Reminders:

Angel Fish Award nominations are accepted all month long! No need to wait to tell us how much you liked a fellow Fish’s work!  IF YOU HAVE SENT IN A NOMINATION, BUT HAVE NOT RECEIVED A PRIVATE MESSAGE CONFIRMING WE RECEIVED IT, WE DIDN’T GET IT. Be sure to use Submit instead of Ask!

Don’t forget to submit your stories to be posted to the blog! When your stories are on the blog, then they are easier to nominate for Angel Fish Awards!

Say hi to November’s New Members! (If we missed someone, let us know!)

Check the Pond CALENDAR to see when Big Fish will be in the Skype chat room/discord general channel and other Pond and SPN events are happening! Know of something that’s not on the calendar, send us an ask or submission with the deets info details!  The calendar offers a lot of features, such as showing you when things are in your own timezone! Since we’re an international group, that’s a definite plus!!

We’re looking for a guest speaker for January to talk about RPF! If you know of an RPF writer that you’d like to hear from, let us know!!

[timeisacephalopod]

Action

Have uh, some random Peter Q/ Tony thing in which Tony is Tony and Peter is a movie director.

“You,” Peter says, pointing at the hottie with the coffee. Everyone is going to hate his guts but they can all deal. He knows what he’s doing, its why people love his shit. “Want to be a cool space vagabond in a movie?”

Hottie with the Coffee stares at him for a long moment, clearly trying to determine if he’s serious. “Do you even know if I can act?” he asks.

Nope but he’s got a feeling and his feelings always end well except that one time he worked with Ronan and nearly ruined his career that movie was so bad but then he bounced back with some heartfelt Oscar winning daddy issues shit people loved so. He’s good. “You can probably act, lets go,” he says, walking off fully expecting his new casting choice to follow him.

*

Yeah, okay. This isn’t where Tony thought he’d spend his summer but he’s not complaining either. “I thought only rich kids could end up directors,” he says. He knows a few, they’re all shit but Peter is excellent. Fucking insane but excellent nonetheless. Really likes improv, which means his actors have to be good at it. Lucky him Tony happens to be great with a witty one liner.

“Yeah, that’s pretty true. I robbed the tits out of rich people all over California to raise money to make a movie. It ended up being a smash hit success and it put me in demand a little. People came to me to do a couple things, I proved myself a little more, and now I get regular work. None of the show pilots I’ve written have been picked up but I still get stupid amounts of money for writing them so whatever. Movies are more my thing anyway,” he says. “Gamora, move the lights a little to do that thing!” he yells across the set.

Gamora immediately begins moving the lights around and explaining what’s needed to the rest of the lighting crew. That’s not unusual for Peter, handing out some weird instructions and expecting people to get it. You get used to it working for him. “That’s a great backstory, you should make a movie about it,” Tony tells him, laughing.

“Thought about it but I already write a bunch of self insert characters, figured there was no need to do more of it,” he says. “Besides, sci-fi has always been where I wanted to be.”

“Usually you do drama,” Tony says and Peter raises an eyebrow.

“You did your research,” he says and Tony nods. “Yeah. Got stuck in it for a bit, not really that unusual for writers, getting stuck writing one genre in the industry forever. But I got a few people to take a chance on me and now I’m a proven genre jumper so I get a bunch of different shit. Except horror, I can’t write that to save my life. Always ends up horror comedy.”

Tony nods, “but people loved Black Lagoon,” he points out.

“People are dumb, that movie was hot garbage. The only redeemable thing was the fact that the fans started shipping the creature with the fish man from The Shape of Water and that was hilarious,” he says.

“Yeah, I’ve seen the art. So what exactly drew you to me anyway?” he asks because he’s been dying to know.

Peter shrugs, “your hot.” Tony raises an eyebrow. “No really, that’s it. I mean yeah, also you’re ridiculously expressive and carry yourself in a unique way that’s interesting to watch but mostly you’re hot.”

So it was the way he carried himself, interesting. Not really what he’d been expecting, all things considered.

*

Gamora looks amused, “and the rumor mill has started,” she says, handing her phone off to Peter. He grabs it and rolls his eyes at the TMZ article headline claiming he’s shacking up with Tony but its Tony’s response that catches his attention.

#CanNeitherConfirmNorDeny

More than that the tweet has gone viral. Obviously its a joke, Peter knows that, but he had no idea Tony had such a large and active Twitter base that’s now all interested in his movie for no other reason than Tony being attached to it.

“Bitch, what the fuck? How is this guy a one man marketing campaign?” he asks the screen more than Gamora.

“Probably because he’s already famous, idiot. You do know he’s the son of a billionaire and a genius who’s been in the public eye for years, right?” she asks and no he didn’t know that.

“Well shit, I knew that feeling I had was for a good reason,” he says. Suck it execs.

“Peter he’s well known for being difficult and an asshole, plus he has a history of addiction,” she says. “The fact that none of this seems to be a problem for you is a miracle.”

“Is not, its because I had a good feeling and he looks great on camera. His eyes are unique,” he says and Gamora rolls her eyes.

“Stop hiring people because you think they’re hot, its weird and creepy.”

“I hired you because you’re hot,” he lies and Gamora rolls her eyes.

“You hired me because we worked a job together and you know I’m good with tech. You hired Drax because you think he’s hot,” she says.

“Did not. I hired Drax because he’s a big ass dude and I didn’t know how to say no in the face of all those muscles. I hired Rocket because I thought he was hot.”

Gamora wrinkles his nose, “he looks like a rat.”

“He’s striking, don’t be rude.”

“If you find rats striking,” she mumbles.

“I think rats are very cute and you’re being a dick. Rats are good, Gamora.”

*

Peter considers Tony for a moment, head tilted to the side. “Okay, yeah, Nebs- Fast and Furious but for all those gay guys and women out there. Feel up Tony’s sexy space booty with the camera,” Peter tells her.

The younger Peter who follows Older Peter around with the clip board gives him a funny look. “Don’t be creepy,” he says.

Older Peter frowns at him, “what? Women deal with it all the time and I, personally, have been victimized by the lack of men’s space booties on TV. Its equality,” he says and Tony snorts.

“What, do you want me to bend over too?” he asks, amused.

“Can you work that naturally into the scene?” he asks and Nebula laughs behind the camera.

Mini Peter smacks Older Peter, “don’t be weird! Don’t do that,” he tells Tony and for some reason Peter allows it. Weird, considering he’s laid back but not afraid to tell someone off if they step on his toes.

“Its this your kid?” Tony asks, squinting at him. There’s a resemblance, sure, with the slightly curly dirty blonde hair and blue eyes. Beyond that they look nothing alike.

“Yes,” Older Peter says at the same time Mini Peter says, “no.”

They exchange a look. “No he’s just like my son, I adopted him three movies ago and we’re feeling up Tony’s space booty. This will vindicate every man who’s been attracted to me ever and also women. Straight dudes are officially the minority here and don’t we make movies to please the majority?” he asks Mini Peter, who rolls his eyes.

“That is a totally twisted take on that argument.”

“So is every take on that argument. Space. Booty. Feel it up,” he says.

Tony rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “You’re ridiculous,” he tells Peter.

“Look, just be lucky I didn’t include the original sex scene with an A'askavariian,” he says like anyone knows what that is.

“I’m not fucking an alien. Feel my ass up all you want with the camera, but I draw the line at alien fucking,” Tony tells him.

“Yeah, I got told that was uh. Not appealing to the public and hello, Del Toro had that woman fuck a fish man. Monster fucking is palatable to the public, my editors are just dicks,” he says.

“Peter, A'askavariians have tentacles and needles for teeth,” Mini Peter says, baffled.

Tony wrinkles his nose. “Yeah I know you thought the ass thing was creepy but the alien thing is worse so can we get back to my ass?” he asks.

“Hell yeah, sounds good. Nebula, I assume you know how to work that thing,” Peter says, waving a hand around. “Do stuff. Wait, action,” he says, forgetting fifty percent of the relevant words to his job spontaneously. Not unusual for Peter.

Mini Peter looks horrified.

*

Peter looks like hell, probably, if the rumors are true, because he’s been up all night looking over footage and consulting Rocket for edits later. The guy’s process is a fucking mess. “You should probably sleep,” Tony tells him, bumping shoulders with him. “Today’s going to be a long ass day.” The scene they’re shooting is like ten minutes, which doesn’t sound like a lot but it is when its all stunts and action that looks ridiculous without the CGI to make it look like things are actually exploding. Right now there’s a lot of green screens, sticks with tennis balls on them, and people running around in morph suits.

“Yeah, I’m not leaving anyone else in charge. I have a really specific vision for this and sure I’ve got a good team but also I don’t trust a single one of those assholes,” he says and Tony laughs.

“Will this be more or less painful knowing that you’re tired as hell?” Tony asks. Because some people get nicer and some people turn into massive assholes when step deprived.

Peter looks him over, “for you? Probably a good thing. I assume actors are having as bad a day as I am given that I end up making the poor bastards go through like thirty five takes of one scene. Everyone else? Not so good. I mean I’m a total dick, but shit Gamora knows how lights work why are they like that?” he asks, clearly finding some type of problem and he takes off to go deal with it, leaving Tony to ponder what today will hold.

He decides to make light of that Buzzfeed article that recently came out regarding his supposed relationship with Peter instead of worrying about things.

*

Peter finds Tony in the morning after he fucking sleeps because he has questions. “You, yeah you, what’s with the Twitter speculation?” he asks, catching Tony with a croissant in his mouth looking confused. “You know, about our non relationship,” he adds.

Tony snorts and pulls the food from his mouth. “That? Good marketing gimmick, people love stupid gossip like that. Figured it couldn’t hurt the movie considering your marketing budget is garbage.”

Yeah, true, he spent too much money on music and landed himself in a three week battle over why he needed to blow that much of the budget on music only to win it by pointing out that music often makes movies. Like Halloween without the creepy Micheal Myers theme song? Just some weird guy in a mask following idiot high school students. Sure he gets stabby but its the music that really sells it. Or it did when it first came out, not its just campy to the modern audience. Point is music can make or break a film and yeah sure, he took the money out of marketing but he’s famous enough now that people who know him will go see his shit because they follow his work- built in audience means he can spare marketing dollars.

“Thanks man, appreciate it after three fucking weeks of arguing over that damn budget,” he says, shaking his head.

“To be fair, I’ve heard the music you want paired with the scenes you shot. It’ll sound amazing,” Tony says and finally some appreciation here.

‘Damn right it will. Didn’t think i’d get marketing in the form of celebrity gossip though and when were you going to tell me you’re already famous?” he asks.

Tony laughs, “thought you recognized me but uh, became clear pretty fast that you didn’t so props to you. The last time I ran into someone who didn’t recognize me on sight I was six. Plus I was bored anyway, might as well spend four months on a movie set.”

“Yeah, but I looked you up. Your company has like five new products launching in the next month,” he says. Which is insane given the time and effort that goes into inventing all those things, testing them and he’s been reliably informed by Wikipedia that Tony’s testing process is extensive, and then comes production, marketing, distribution, customer feedback, and then improvements. All of those things on their own is a stupid amount of work, but together plus spending anywhere from ten to eighteen hours a day on a movie set doing random shit? Tony must have the stamina of a robot because keeping up with it all is borderline impossible.

“Half that stuff was already done when I started this and I have an amazing business partner. Honestly most of the credit for all that should go to Pepper. Marketing was all her and she’s a genius at it,” Tony says.

Peter nods because he followed up on the marketing for it. He’s written a few commercials, he knows how difficult it is to run a good marketing campaign when people fucking hate commercials. “You should keep her around forever. She’s way too good a resource to lose when your commercials don’t fucking suck ass,” he says.

Tony snorts, “you don’t have to tell me twice. Pepper is invaluable.”

Maybe he should hire her to run his marketing campaigns. He pretty much hates everyone he has now and in this industry you’re subject to be fired at any moment so he should fire them all and poach Pepper.

*

Tony walks over to Peter and throws himself down beside him, “smile for me,” he says, leaning into Peter’s space and grinning. He snaps a picture of a mostly confused looking Peter and posts it to his Twitter.

“So like. Are you two a thing? Because I don’t know anymore,” Drax says.

“They aren’t,” Mantis tells him. “But its a good method of attaching Peter’s movie to something.”

Drax frowns at her but says nothing. Tony raises an eyebrow and Peter shrugs, “Mantis is never wrong about stuff like that. She’s like... freakishly good at reading people.”

“Oh you’ll end up together but you’re not together now,” she tells them, not looking up from her tablet. “And Peter, please make sure the boom is not in the shots. I’m tired of editing them out.”

“I thought Rocket did the editing?” Tony asks.

“No, Rocket gets the credit,” Mantis says. “I’m kidding. Mostly. I help.”

“Meaning she’s the only thing that keeps Rocket from spontaneously combusting. She’s almost as good with editing tech as she is with emotions and Rocket needs someone to balance him out.” Yeah, Tony has met Rocket. Guy is wound a little tight and inseparable from that friend of his, Groot. Poor bastard probably has the worst name known to man, Rocket following shortly after. Shit, Mantis isn’t far out from that either.

“Huh. Make my ass look good,” he tells her and Drax’s eyebrows draw together.

“Your ass doesn’t need help to look good,” he says.

“Hey eyeballs off his ass,” he says like he has a right to complain. Everyone currently at the table gives him the same look because he’s a total hypocrite. “What? I told Nebula to feel up his ass with the camera, I didn’t feel up shit,” he points out. “My eyeballs were focused on that one fucky light.”

Tony snorts, “yeah, okay.”

“Don’t look at me like that, its true,” he says. “I maintain that until I’ve felt up Tony’s ass no one can give me the looks you’re all giving me.”

“I mean, if that willing,” Tony tells him and the look on Peter’s face is hilarious.

“Are you willing? Because I may actually have dreams about this.”

Drax shakes his head, throwing his fork at his food. “And people say I need to learn how to be less blunt. At least I’m not ruining people’s meals with admissions to sex dreams,” he mumbles, picking himself up and walking away.

*

Rhodey looks down at the article in his lap. “Is there truth to any of this?” he asks and Pepper looks up, leaning out of her desk to see what he’s reading before sighing. She doesn’t even need to speak for him to know what’s going on.

“You know how Tony is, he’ll get bored of Peter once they aren’t spending as much time together. Its a fling,” she tells him.

Which is why, three months later, Rhodey is annoyed to be standing in front of Peter fucking Quill, guy who is absolutely not good enough for his best friend. Tony looks hopeful, like he thinks Rhodey will like this pasty ass cornfed fucker when that’s so not going to happen.

“Let me be clear- I don’t like you. You look like someone stuffed you with some low quality hay, shoved a stick up your ass, and stuck you in a cornfield in Missouri until you managed to come to life, pulled that stick out of your ass, and walked onto a movie set. You’re not good enough for Tony and there is nothing on God’s green earth that will convince me otherwise,” he tells Peter.

“Well, I am from Missouri,” he mumbles.

“Yeah you look like you’re from Missouri,” Rhodey tells him, tone disparaging.

Tony sighs. “Rhodey, he’s great. Really.”

Rhodey squints, “have you watched this man’s movies? He couldn’t write himself out of a paper bag if it was made out of some damn ad libs,” he says and Peter clenches his jaw.

“I’m real upset that you’re coming up with better insults than me,” Peter tells him.

“Rhodey,” Tony tells him. “He’s actually awesome. Give him a break.”

He looks Peter over. “Give him a break? The only thing that needs to be broken here is this ugly ass relationship. Go date Pepper, she’s perfect for you,” he tells him. That is the only person he will accept because Pepper is amazing and treats Tony right. And he’s good for her too, they balance each other out. This shit he’s got going with Knockoff Chris Pratt? Not attractive.

Across the room Pepper looks vindicated.

[yes-bitchxxxmarvel-stuff]

You Are Who You Choose To Be!

(Chapter 1) Part 1 Who I Was Meant To Be!

Tony StarkXDaughter Nathaile Stark

(Prompts) This Is A Tony Stark And Daughter Stark Story I Came Up With Myself.

What If Thanos Never Did The Sanp! But Instead Tony Stark's Daughter Sacrficed!! Herself Instead To Protect The Avenger's And Save The Entire Universe!

(Warning's) Language! Violence!

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

It was another bright sunny Satuday Morning In downtown Manhattan The sun was shining bright through the huge windows of my room. Lighting up the room just enough that i did not need any lights on in the room i

Was drawn into this book that was made into a movie called Bird Box! I was so obsessed with it i couldn't put it down i had to find out what happened even though i already known what happens But books have more details than in the movie's.

I just happened to look up from the book When i saw two huge Q Spaceship's emerge from the sky landing in the middle of Manhattan i stood up from the couch throwing the book in my hand to the other side of the couch. I walked up to the large glass windows looking down at these large ships I was terrified i knew exactly who this was and why they were here

I was suddenly Drawn from what i was seeing in the street to the Emergency Lights and Sirens that had started blaring off in the Tower. I. Finally had my chance to show everyone that i could be just like Them an Avenger i rushed over to the Door running down the hallway i got in the elevator and pushed the button for the Lab the doors closed i backed up to the back of the elevator holding onto the bar's i hated the feeling of falling this was always the hardest part for me. I had to convince myself that everything was going to be okay and that the ride would be over soon. To this day i still couldn't figure out the reason why i hated The feeling of falling it's haunted me ever sense i was a kid.

The elevator finally stopped and the doors opened To my surprise Dad nor any of the Avengers were no where to be found i found this quite Odd knowing how my father is always concerd about me and my safety i would have thought he would have made an appearance to tell me What to do or where to go like usual but this time was different.

I made my way over to the computer's i quickly logged myself in i went to push the button and bring my Suit up when i heard the doors open and my name being echoed through the lab i quickly tried to hide what i was about to do and spun around as i heard footsteps getting closer That's when i was face to face with Pepper Nathalie what are you doing up here?

Uh i just came up here looking for Dad!

Do you know where he is?

Hunny he's not here he just called me he told me to come find you! Happy is on his way to pick us up we are going to the safe house Happy will be here in 15 minutes So Grab everything you need and meet us in the lobby I zoned out as my thoughts began to scatterd through my mind and i was debating on if i was going to listen for once or go be apart of the team and help i mean it couldn't hurt iv been on little missons and nothing's ever happened Dad and The Avengers taught me everything i knowi could do this and i was going to do this Wether they liked it or not.

Haile? I felt Pepper shaking my shoulders i snapped out of it and looked back up at her Did you hear a word i just said? Yes Pepper I'm sorry i zoned out I'll be ready in 15 minute's

I stood their waiting for her to walk out of the lab and back into the elevator as soon as the doors shut i spun around and hit the button i heard a noise and one of the Glass case's opened i put the comb into my locker and pulled my black and purple suit from the locker i sliped it on and stepped into My Iron Man suit i walked out of the case and  out onto the landing strip.

Dad was flying around while Peter was right there fighting along side him feeling a little bit jelousy I liked how it was okay for Peter to help but Haile she had to stay up in the Tower and play Victim Um yeah No!! Not today! I took off down towards The park where these huge creatures were fighting Peter and Dad taking they were out numberd by a long shot just as i went in to help I caught the glimpse of a guy standing off to the side trying to stay out of the way the closer i got to the ground I realised who he was Banner!! One of the creatures was headed right towards him i flew down faster knocking the creature off his feet onto the ground i quickly took it out.

Nathalie is that you? I opened the face shield and looked at him Hi Bruce it's nice to see you've finally come back from where ever you've been hiding! Why aren't you turned into the hulk? He won't come out he's being a big giant ass hole! I burst out laughing Oh Okay! Just Stay hidden okay till one of us comes back to get you

I shut the face shield and headed over to where the rest of thr creature's were

Hey ass holes Up here i waved my arm's around they turned their attention onto me and headed towards me away from Peter

I was doing good ducking and dodging each hit till i saw Peter get hit and land on the ground i took my attention off the creature's for a mirror second when i was suddenly knocked out of the air onto the ground feeling the hard blow's i was receiving this was something

i wasn't used to Yes i got to fight along side the Avengers but they did most of the work i knew i was risking my life being out here with no help but i didn't care i had to fight just like the rest of them I wasn't an Avenger but I was going to be after i showed everyone that i could be an Avenger and I was going to do whatever i could To Fight who or whatever this one until we won.

I tired fighting this guy off but i couldn't shake him off i was taking blow after blow to the face i didn't understand what was wrong with my suit it's never done anything like this before F.R.I.D.A.Y What's wrong with my suit? I'm getting killed out here Ms.Stark your father has the settings to Training Mode. What? F.R.I.D.A.Y Take it off NOW!! I can not do that Ms.Stark you have not passed your training course F.R.I.D.A.Y Listen to me for once

if you do not take it off now your going to get me killed we are under attack and i can not defend myself in Training Mode I Will Die!! Do You Understand? All of a sudden This image came across the screen saying Congratulations on Passing the Training Course F.R.I.D.A.Y started talking Congratulations on passing the course you now have full control over your suit i pulled my arm's back and used the blasters to fry the Creature's i got up brushing the dirt and grass off the suit

I looked up as i watched My father make his way over to me Nathalie what in the hell are doing? I'm doing what you've been training me to do. No i wasn't training you for this, this is the real thing this isn't like your training exercises Why didn't you go with Pepper and Happy?

Because i needed to prove to you that i can do this. No absolutely not this ends here you go back to the Tower now Pepper is waiting for you. But Dad i can help you fight this.

NO I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP AND I AM NOT GOING TO LET YOU GET YOURSELF KILLED YOU MEAN TO MUCH TO ME YOUR NOT COMING NOW GO HOME!!!

No I'm not leaving your letting Parker help you? No he just showed up and he's not coming either both of you are going With Pepper and Happy Now!! F.R.I.D.A.Y Take Her Home! The face shield shut and the suit started doing it's own thing Right away Sir. Wait Dad No! The suit was headed back for the Tower Dads face came across the screen I'm not mad at you okay i just can't have you out here I Love You Sweetheart I'll see you soon The screen went away I looked up watching Peter jump onto the huge ship that was headed up into space Dad followed it The ship was escaping faster than i thought it would move

I had to do something this wasn't over i Pulled the flash drive from the pocket of my super suit and stuck it into the USB slot in the arm of the suit i watched as a screen popped up and started downloading the file that was on the flash drive  i looked back up at the ship As my heart sank into my chest and that sick feeling over come my entire body as i watched Peter let go of the ship free falling towards Earth. Noooo!!

I looked back at the screen it hit 100%  F.R.I.D.A.Y I now have complete control over this suit Yes Ms.Stark you have complete Control of your Suit i turned around and headed for Peter i pushed the suit as fast as i could i was almost to him when somthing flew passed me and latched it's self onto Peter Dad had built him another suit a real suit Peter caught the side of the ship and held on i watched as Dad flew passed him and headed up to the top of the ship that's when a parashoot Popped out of Peter's suit and he was headed back towards Earth i continued pushing myself towards him i caught him Pulling the shoot from the suit I manged to grab onto the ship and pull us into a little cubby that was a door that entered the ship we walked inside as the door shut behind us we both opened our shields and looked at one another for a few seconds before I pushed him backwards It's not fair Parker!!

What's not fair? That My Dad allows you to fight along side him but Not me!! I should beat your dumb Spidey Ass right now!!

Your all he ever talks about anymore Peter This Parker That I Am So Peter pressed his lips to mine I let everything fade as i began to Melt Peter slowly pulled away looking me in the eye's Better now? Ugh! I gave in Okay I'm sorry but this Shit is getting really Old Okay!! I know I tell Mr.Stark all the time he should Let you come with us but he always says No! I didn't mean to make you upset Haile! I rolled my eye's You big dummy I kissed him once more. So about your dad you do know he is going to chew our asses out when he finds out that we are on this ship. Oh no doubt and when he dose find out I'm blaming you!! Now why would you blame me? Because sense you too are best Buds now I'm sure he won't be as mad at you as he would be at me So this it your fault! Um no! Your the one who caught me and brought us on this Ship Alright fine just shut it! So tell me this Who exactly are these people? I rolled my eyes i knew you couldn't keep your mouth shut he smiled well duh! I heard your Dad and The Weird Wizard guy talking about someone called Thanos!

My eyes widened as i felt fear overcome my body No shit you've got to be kidding.

This is it! This is really it he's finally come for all the Infinity stones just like Mr.Stark said and all of us the Avengers. Yeah Pete I'm starting to think i should have listened to Him now he was right this was way bigger than i thought it was Peter took my hand Don't worry I'm not going to let anything happen to you so stop worrying.

We shut up quickly as someone started talking Peter and I both looked at each other. As we walked a few steps close to the edge looking over where we saw this weird looking guy Holding Dr.Strange Hostage I looked back at Peter as we both whispered Shit! Under our breath I grabbed Peter and pulled us back from the edge I looked up trying to find out where Dad had gone. He was on the other side of the ship i shut the shield and flew over to him landing behind him Dr.Stranges Cape came out of nowhere Startling Dad he was about to blast it with his blasters when he figured out what it was he put his hand down

Wow your a seriously loyal piece of outterwear aren't you?

I opened the suit and stepped out of it crossing my arm's

Yeah Um Speaking Of Loyalty.

Dad spun around. What The?

Did you really think you were just going to send me back to the Tower?

Nathalie You Should Not Be Here!

I know but i was not going to let you fight this alone i told you i was coming.

No! You are supposed to be with Happy and Pepper getting as far away from all of this as possible.

Well now that i finally have full control of my own suit And i can see what it can really do this suit is Amazingly Incredible by the way!

God Damnit!!

Listen You should have just agreed to let me come with you So if anything it's kinda your fault that I'm here.

Dad Glared at me What Did You Just Say? Um I I Take that Back! And now I'm here in space. Yeah right where i didn't want you to be. This isn't The Mall this isn't a Field Trip!! This is a one way Ticket!! You hear me!! And don't stand their and pretend that you've thought this through! No Dad i actually did think this through! You could not have possibly Thought this through?

You can't just take me on these little missons and expect me not to come help when the world needs me. Okay i know. That didn't really make any sense because I'm not an Avenger yet but you know what I'm trying to say.

Fine but you stay with me understand you do not go wandering off on your own like you tend to do You understand me?

Yes Dad alright!

You know i couldn't bare losing you Haile not ever and i know you can do this i just don't think it's the right time but your here now so i gotta let you fight and defend yourself Just stay with me or in my sight okay that's all i ask of you.

Uh yeah about that Peter dropped down from the ceiling What? You too?? both of you Big Trouble when we get home Got me!!! I looked at Peter rolling my eye's. now come on both of you we have a situation.

I stepped back into my suit Peter fell back a little ways while Dad continued scoping

the place out. Peter listen to me Okay don't listen to Him he's just mad because he won't get all the credit for saving the world on his own he has to include us now

i Nudged Him in the shoulder Plus we got this! With my training and with your time spent helping people around the city we've got this. You know Haile your Right we do got this!! Hey! Shhh Quiet both of you! Before Squidward hears us.

Okay see down there that's our trouble what's your plan? Um Okay? Um Alright Mr.Stark did you ever see this old movie Ailens? Ugh Kid! You've got to be kidding Nope! Okay this is what we do You blow a hole in the side of the ship it will suck That guy out. And i will grab Strange! No Haile your not helping Dad you've got to be kidding me? No I'm not kidding you now stay over there and hold onto something so you don't end up being sucked out of the huge gaping hole.

I crossed my arm's as i held ongo the giant Metal Beam Unbelievable Just Unbelievable!! I let out every sware word in the book. And Remind me to have a talk with you about your Language when we get back home as well. I dropped the shield and rolled my eye's. Alright ya ready Pete? Yup Hey Squidward Let The Doctor go Ahh i thought i smlled someone My Power's are much greater than yours i don't think you will make it out of this alive. Yeah well the kid's seen more movie's Peter NOW!!!

I blasted a hole in the side of the ship Squidward went flying out into space along with some lose items from the ship Peter grabbed Strange and pulled him out of the Hole in the ship while i quickly Sealed it!

Thank you Stark for freeing me So what happens now? I don't know you tell me Strange your the one Thanos wants.

Well first we need to start by turning this ship around Oh so now you want to run?

No i want to protect the Stone! You should have just listend to me But no now we are a million miles away in a flying doughnut heading deeper into space with no back up.

Hey we are back up!! No!! Your not the adults are talking Who are they? Hey I'm Peter by the way! Dr.Strange and You are? I'm the big ass hole over theirs Daughter

I'm Nathalie but you can just call me

Haile Stark i didn't know you had a daughter Stark? Yeah only a select few know about her She's not supposed to be here Neither one of them But you see how kid's are they do whatever they want Even when their told not to.

Mr.Stark you wouldn't have come up with a better plan than mine! Cool it Parker Fine!! So now what Stark? I guess we sit here and wait to see where this Big flying Doughnut is headed Hour's went by in Silence

So Dr.Strange? Yes Haile? What exactly did you say you were protecting?

He moved the Cape from his chest revealing a glowing green Stone in the middle of his chest This is The Time Stone! It controls time I'm the sworn Protector of the Stone Okay so your Protecting It From

Thanos Yes! Well you might as well just give it to him i heard things about him he's not going to stop until he gets his hands on all of the Stones I looked over at Dad who was still pacing back and forth I looked at Strange he's coming for all those Infinty Stone's and he's not going to stop until he gets them all this is going to be a fight alright with lives lost!

Dad stopped paceing crossing his arm's How do you know about the Stone's? Vision Vision told me! Ahh of course he did All those times i thought you too were studying he was filling your head with things you never needed to know Hey it wasn't his fault don't blame him he did nothing wrong here Unlike you i at least listen to what he has to say.

Wait if Thanos is coming that means he will also need the Mind Stone I jumped to my feet He's going to kill Vision we have to go back we need to warn the other's Haile Stop you know The Avengers broke up I don't even know where Vision and Wanda could be. That's because you never cared nor tried hard enough. Alright zip it i don't want to hear another word out of you the Entire Trip

  This is such bullshit!! Again with the Language!! Dad i am 21 i can say whatever the hell i want to say.

Hey kid? Yeah do they do this a lot? Oh yeah this isn't anything new he's way over protective and she wants to do what she wants but Mr.Stark won't allow it Not After her Mom was killed that's when he started being Over protective Mr.Stark blames him self for what happened to her but really it was no one's fault What was she like? She was A great person so nice she would help anyone

She would Take Haile and I everywhere Haile looks a lot like Her they were so close

Can i ask what happened? Strange that's none of your concern Strange Glared at Mr.Stark  Pete i think we are landing here put your arm in one these i think this stears it Mr.Stark it's not moving hold on kid let me get my arm in okay Turn to the right faster Kid or we are going to hit that huge Beam

  Everyone hold on Brace for Impact We aren't going to make it The ship landed hitting harder than i wanted it to I pulled myself up brushing the dirt off Noticing Peter and Haile were gone! Stark their outside i turned around as i saw them walking out on this Unknown Planet DAMNIT!!! We left the ship as fast as possible NATHAILE PETER!!! STOP!!!

Marvel Imagine By @yes-bitchxxxmarvel-stuff

@77marvelimagines

[avenging-for-infinity]

Ease Dropping | Peter Quill

Master List found here!

Pairing: Peter Quill x Reader

Request: “Hi, I love you writing! Can I have 9 & 22 w/ Thor (or Peter Q.)? Thank you :)”

Prompts from this list:

9. “You’re cute when you’re ready to hurt someone.”

22. “Someone is jealous!”

Warnings: Some swearing

Word Count: 1144

A/N: I decided to go with Peter for this one because he is my honey and this is the only one that has sent in a request for him! I hope you enjoy it!

Working with the Guardians of the Galaxy was always a fun, and crazy time. You never planned on being a member or ever meeting them, but once they saved you from your planet that was in a constant war, you offered your hand and they accepted. You were good with fixing space crafts, guns and you were a pretty good at hand to hand combat. You thought about how dangerous working with the Guardians was once you had developed feelings for Peter Quill. You knew it was a one in a billion shot, considering he and Gamora had a strange relationship going on. You pushed away the feeling and continued to help them, it was what they deserved for helping you get away from your planet.

As you sat in a chair on the space craft, Groot came and sat beside you holding a Gameboy. You already knew he wanted you to watch him play his new game. 

“I am Groot?” You smiled and patted the chair beside of you, as you watched him play and even helped him kill some zombies, you saw Gamora and Peter. She was yelling at him for something, which was typical. You tried ease dropping but Groot caught you in your act.

“I am Groot!” Your eyes went wide and you put a finger over your mouth. Groot was telling you to stop ease dropping. You looked to make sure Peter or Gamora hadn’t heard Groot, luckily they were still at each others throat.

“Don’t be so loud! They don’t need to know that! I don’t need them to know that!” Groot put his Gameboy down and spun to face you.

“I am Groot.” Groot was telling you to ask Peter out. You looked up again to make sure he wasn’t there, both him and Gamora were gone. You sighed and looked back at Groot.

“Groot, he obliviously loves Gamora, not me! I’ll never have anything with Peter.” Groot looked sad, until he heard Rocket bust into the room.

“Hey! Hey!” You threw your head back and then turned to see Mantis, Drax and Rocket standing together. They had heard everything you and Groot discussed. 

“Someone is jealous!” Rocket shouted, you took a cup that had been sitting beside you and tossed it at his head.

“Keep it down Racoon! Shouldn’t you be in someone’s trash right now? By the way I’m not jealous! I don’t like Peter and I really don’t like you right now!” Rocket just laughed at you and picked up the cup you had tossed at him. Mantis had creeped up behind you while you were scolding Rocket and placed her hand on you.

“No, you are jealous. Very jealous, you are also in love.” Your face heated up and you put your head down as Drax laughed. 

“Can you guys just be quiet about it? I don’t need Gamora trying to hurt me, throw me off the ship in my sleep or some crazy shit! I don’t need Peter thinking I’m some little school girl with a crush!” Drax laughed again and so did Rocket.

“First off. I’m going to need you to grow a pair! Tell him how you feel! He’d be an idiot not to give it a shot, Gamora obviously is never going to give him a chance. Besides, Peter at least wants to sleep with you! He’s always talking about how pretty you are, and we’ve had a couple conversations about your ass!” 

“Rocket! For fucksakes raccoons really are filthy!” He just laughed and so did Drax.

“Oh this is exciting! You and Peter would fit so well together, you are always listening to music with him and helping him work on the craft!” Mantis said, you closed your eyes and sighed.

“Guys, it’s never going to work so all of you just shut up about it! Peter doesn’t like me, this is not what I came here to do! Even I would act on it, I’m sure it wouldn’t work out, so how about we drop this and do what we came here to do!” You were standing up, Groot, Drax, Mantis and Rocket all looked at you, or what you thought was you. They stood for a second staring before you had spoke up again.

“What? What is everyone staring at?” Rocket nodded is head for you to look behind you. You turned to see none other than Peter Quill. Your heart sank and blood rushed to your face, Everyone fled the room except for you and Peter. You began to explain what he had seen, but he spoke up before you could.

“You’re cute when you’re ready to hurt someone.” Peter said walking closer to you. Was this a dream? There was no way this was actually happening. You stood there, clueless and speechless. You began to stammer.

“Uh what you- uh what you hea- none o-” Peter cut you off by placing his hand on your shoulder. You remember this feeling, it was the same feeling you got when he let you listen to his special mix tape, the same feeling when you watched him dance and goof around while working on the craft, the same feeling you got every single time Peter was around.

“I like you. I must suck at showing it, but oh believe me. Definitely believe me when I say I like you. Gamora and I have nothing anymore, that was there until you came around. Me and her? We’re better off as team mates, but me and you? That’s another story that I’d like to know how it turns out.” You had absolutely no clue what to say, so you stood there like an idiot until you blurted out.

“Great! I mean, good. I’m glad you do like me, I mean I like you, not just cause you’re hot. You’re really hot, your actions make me laugh and feel comfort! I like plenty of things about you!” He laughed and took your hand.

“Come on, let’s go look at this planet, it has tons of flowers and river streams on it.” You smiled, feeling at peace for once in a life time. You heard an “awe” come from the door way. You looked over to see everyone, including Gamora.

“Really guys!” Peter yelled, they all laughed and Drax spoke.

“We need some romance in our lives Quill! What’s wrong with watching yours, it’s like a bad TV show.” Peter threw the cup you had threw at Rocket and it hit Drax.

“Okay, okay we’ll go!” He said, once he left the rest of the Guardians went with him. You laughed and so did Peter. He put his arm around you and walked with you off the ship.

“So what is this that I hear about you talking about my ass?” Peter’s face turned red and he sighed.

“Fucking trash panda.”