#let’s just hope I don’t get sidetracked after a few days | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

velidewrites · 1 year ago

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To get back what the Cauldron has taken from her, Elain Archeron makes a deal with Prythian’s most dangerous enemy.

Now, a servant of a cruel Death God, Elain must make sure her efforts are not discovered—especially not by someone tied to her darkening heart by a golden thread.

Someone like her mate.

Notes: My humble offering for @elucienweekofficial. This fic is a post-ACOSF story — and very close to my heart as it’s based on the very first one-shot I’ve ever written.

Tags: Post-ACOSF, Canon Compliant, NSFW

Read on AO3 || Chapter 1 || Masterlist

Chapter 3 - You're Not Like The Others

Lucien watched Vassa carefully as she leaned back in her seat, arms stretched out before her as she examined her shimmering skin.

“How do you feel?” he asked, eyeing the soft, blueish glow that seemed to shine from her very bones—in all his centuries on earth, Lucien had never seen anything quite like it.

Vassa considered, looking over her body once more before finally meeting his gaze. “Cold,” she said, though her voice betrayed no concern.

“Here,” Jurian said, rising from his seat to peel the jacket off his arms. Vassa smiled, stopping him with a lift of her hand. “It’s alright,” she said. “It’s not unpleasant, it feels…nice, actually.” She took another breath, shoulders loosening as though a thousand knots within them had just been undone. Slowly, Jurian receded back to his chair, his brown eyes sharp and trailing every single one of Vassa’s movements.

“You’re supposed to rest now,” Lucien reminded her. “Nuan said an hour at least—your body needs time to absorb the elixir.” Beside him, Jurian grunted his agreement.

Vassa looked at Lucien. “I’m afraid your mate has other plans for me this evening.”

Jurian glowered at him—as though Elain being so hell-bent on staying at the manor had somehow been his fault. The way Lucien saw it, the quicker they got this whole ordeal over with, the sooner she would be gone—and the sooner could he go back to his useless routine of pretending she did not torment his every thought.

Because she had—even more so now that he’d finally, finally spoken to her after months of seeing her only in his dreams. Their conversation—if he could even call it that—just a few hours ago had lit a match somewhere deep in his chest Lucien thought had long been darkened to ash, and he was more determined now than ever to find out just how bright it could truly burn. Every visit, every Solstice, Lucien had been presented with the same blurry picture—a polite, quiet Elain, so out of place in her new world that she needed space to figure things out on her own. Lucien had been more than happy to give it to her—until now, when the picture sharpened and he finally looked at it with new eyes.

There was nothing quiet about Elain Archeron, thank the Gods. She hadn’t expected to see him and he could tell the sentiment from her face as clear as day—he’d caught her off guard, like a startled animal resorting to its most primal instincts to defend itself. She’d shown her claws, the roaring that simmered beneath her pretty dress, begging to be let out.

Lucien was practically itching to be the one to do it.

“You don’t have to be so damn stubborn about this, you know,” Jurian told her, earning a look that, had he not been slaughtering on the battlefield his whole life, would’ve sent a regular man running.

Vassa said, “If Elain can find the answers we need, then I’m willing to try it again. And again, if necessary. However many times we need.”

Lucien leaned forward, propping his chin up on his palm. “Not too many, let’s hope.”

Vassa angled her head, her fiery hair shifting with the movement. “Does she know where you’ve been this morning?”

“Not yet. We got, ah…sidetracked.” His face flushed slightly as the words came out of his mouth, realising the message probably implied something entirely different than what he’d intended.

Sure enough, Jurian’s dark brows rose. “Have you—”

“No,” he cut in sternly. “But we…talked.”

“I wonder how that went,” Jurian murmured, the words rewarded with yet another look from Vassa.

Lucien muttered, “It doesn’t matter.” Because it didn’t. As much as he might have enjoyed seeing her true colours come to life, it could not have been more clear that Elain had hardly shared that sentiment. They might have spoken for the first time in forever—the conversation perhaps longer than any of the scraps he’d ever been given with her—but as soon as her mission here was over, Lucien had no doubt in his mind Elain would retreat to the shadows of the Night Court, never to light that match in his heart again.

Vassa hummed. “If you say so,” she said, resting her back against her seat again as her eyes closed in content. “This feels really good,” she admitted, that blue light still coating her tired features. “Maybe I’ll rest for ten minutes before your mate cuts me open again.”

Jurian snorted. “I got this,” he said to Lucien. “You go get your mate.”

———

Elain shifted on the couch nervously, watching as blood began to drip down Vassa’s hand. The carpet was still stained from yesterday, a rusted sort of red dotting the thick fabric and forming a pattern that, if she angled her head just right, she could’ve sworn looked just like a bird in flight. Elain sighed, well aware that, especially with the time ticking down her very tight schedule, she was definitely growing paranoid.

“Your turn,” Vassa’s voice pulled her from her thoughts, transfixed on the thin stream of liquid still filling the crease in the firebird queen’s palm. She handed her the knife, the steel surprisingly heavy in her hands, and lifted the sharp side of the blade to her smooth unassuming skin.

A low snarl ripped free from Lucien’s throat, and Elain’s head snapped up to meet his eyes.

He didn’t return her gaze, though, the pools of russet and gold flashing a sizzling flame that threatened to spill and burn the whole manor to the ground as he stared at the knife. His hands balled into fists at his sides, his knuckles bone-white and his body tense enough that she knew he was barely keeping himself seated, the beast in his chest purring out its loud sounds of protest.

That same beast, as Elain knew, lived in her own chest—though she’d managed to keep it dormant after the first and last time it awoke, silently raging as it took in Lucien’s bloodied clothes after the final battle. Elain tore her gaze off Lucien, slicing through her palm with a straight, clean cut.

That rage, that primal ferocity that roared in him to protect her—it wasn’t real. Their beasts—both of them—eventually, would be tamed into submission.

“What’s wrong with you?” Jurian murmured to his friend, leaning over the couch, Elain’s arched, Fae ears catching every word.

Lucien did not deign him with a response.

Jurian turned to Vassa. “Remember, you don’t have to—”

“We’ve talked about this,” Vassa said, the words apparently dismissal enough.

Elain nodded, offering the general a tentative smile she hoped masked her impatience. “This will never work if you don’t trust me,” she offered. Come on, her mind silently urged, tell the where it is. Tell me where you hid it.

Jurian opened his mouth, but Elain was quicker—she reached out to Vassa, her own blood dripping to join the carpet’s strange pattern. “Ready?”

Vassa loosed a breath. “Alright.”

The queen slipped her hand into Elain’s, two streams of blood joining into one.

The world flashed again, a white-hot flame consuming every inch of the room until it all became a bright, scorching nothingness.

But this time, Elain was prepared.

She navigated the space as though she’d been born for the light, her eyes now looking beyond what the fire veiled. There she was, Vassa standing atop a lustrous surface and looking up to the sun.

Elain looked down right at her.

Vassa’s eyes were closed—she could not see, not here, only feel as Elain’s light warmed her body, golden-brown skin shimmering under its power. But then, the sun intensified, and the surface beneath her feet trembled, as though the light had become too strong to reflect. Elain burned now, no longer a comforting presence above the queen, but a threat—beams of a scaling fire shooting to pierce through her, with Vassa’s heart their one and only aim.

Vassa’s brows knitted, her nose scrunching at the shift in the air—and her eyelids fluttered. In a second, those eyes would meet Elain’s—the last face the firebird queen would see before she burned to her death.

Elain.

Everything stopped.

Elain, please— a pause, as though the voice had choked on a breath. You have to save her. Help me save her, I—I can’t live without her.

The voice, hoarse and strained, echoed through the chambers of her very soul. Why did you do it, Elain?

The surface trembled again and blurred, shifting into something solid beneath Vassa as she fell, her knees hitting the ground hard.

“No,” Elain’s mouth moved on its own accord. “No, please—I—I didn’t mean to hurt anyone—”

A low, smooth chuckle. Well done, my sweet.

Elain jerked away.

“Elain!” Lucien called, by her side in an instant as if she’d frightened him—as if he cared. “Elain—are you—what the fuck did just—”

“Lucien, I need you here!” another voice—Jurian—reached her as the room began to come into view.

She had to have stood up at some point, and abruptly from the looks of it—the couch she’d sat on had been pushed back two feet, leaving four, long scrapes in the wooden floor. The back of her legs pulsed slightly from the impact, forgetting the immortal strength that rested within her muscles, just waiting to be harnessed. Elain looked over the space—not a lick of flame in sight—until she rested her gaze on Vassa, where the mortal queen hissed at the raw, bubbling skin of her open palm.

Lucien leaned over her quickly, a soft glow Elain recognised as similar to the magic used by Madja back in Night as he cast it over the burns. Elain looked down to her own hands—and, to her horror, found them perfectly smooth, not a single sign of the fire’s touch on them.

This, Elain decided, did not look good.

Her mind raced in search of an explanation she could offer—a lie she could come up with on the spot, certain that if any of the Band of Exiles learned of what she’d just seen, they would drag her down to the Nolans’ old basement and lock her up for all eternity.

Jurian, Cauldron bless him, gripped Vassa’s arm, forcing the stunned queen to look up at him at last. “Tell me exactly what you saw.”

Vassa blinked, a fog scattering from her cerulean eyes. “I…” she looked at Elain, frowning.

Elain could not breathe.

“It felt…strange. I couldn’t see anything but light—but I felt it, warm on my skin.” She looked down to her palm—to the new, gleaming skin, no burn marks in sight—and added, “It grew hotter—and then everything stopped.”

Elain had to keep from crying out in relief.

Lucien looked at her, an incredulous expression creasing his scarred face. “And you?”

Lie, that silky voice within her purred. Lie and take what you came here for.

Elain looked back, her attention falling to the deep wounds in the floor she’d caused. There was a time when lifting a heavy, iron chair had been a struggle. Now, she could probably lift a thousand of them.

She forced herself to look away, her decision made simple. “That sounds about right,” she said to their expectant faces, then cleared her throat. “Except—I could actually see Vassa standing under the sun, looking up to the sky. In her human form.”

Vassa gasped quietly, Jurian squeezing her shoulder tighter.

“She was holding something,” Elain lied, fighting to keep her throat from closing up. “A small, rectangular shape.” The two males behind Vassa exchanged glances.

“What was the colour?” Vassa breathed.

“It was too bright—I couldn’t see it very well,” Elain said. There was little doubt in her mind that they’d never hand the box over to her—her only resort was prying its location from Vassa’s mind. She added carefully then, “Perhaps another vision…”

“Can you focus your Sight on it?” Jurian asked. “See…see what it was exactly? If it was…open?””

“I…” Shit, shit shit. They did have it—they’d tried to open it, too, apparently to no effect. “I could try. But Vassa…” she looked at the queen and offered a sympathetic smile. “You were smiling.”

Elain made a show of lowering her gaze to her palms slowly, an exasperated sigh sounding deep from her chest. “I don’t understand why this keeps happening.” The queen shook her head, still seemingly in awe at the Seer’s previous words. Jurian, too absorbed by looking at Vassa with an emotion she couldn’t quite discern, did not return her gaze, either.

Lucien looked at her wordlessly, his silence almost palpable in her chest. He was not a daemati, but Elain checked her mental shields anyway, making sure they were still intact despite his sharp scrutiny.

But it wasn’t her mind his presence seemed to slither into, but somewhere else—prodding at that place beneath her ribs that could ruin everything had he only decided to disobey the order she’d given him a mere few hours ago.

After all, there was a reason Elain had been working so hard to avoid him—months upon months of hard work, of carefully selected words and bold, if not desperate, strategies—a triumph she’d thought she’d cemented at the last Solstice.

Apparently not.

Lucien, to her relief, stopped despite the golden cord around her ribs calling out his name in a quiet song. She stifled the sound immediately, levelling her eyes on his own, praying that her expression would not betray a thing.

Finally, Lucien turned to Jurian—to Vassa. “I need to go,” he said, his voice tight. “Don’t wait up with dinner.”

———

Lucien’s reaction—or rather, the lack of it—made her stir through the rest of the night.

She had decided to forgo staying up the way Jurian and Vassa did—especially when doing so meant having the house practically all to herself throughout the day. Elain had begun taking mental note of the rooms she’d already managed to search, crossing them out as a potential hiding spot one by one until she decided the ground floor was not, perhaps, her best shot.

She could only pray the box was not somewhere she’d never dare to go. Like Lucien’s bedroom.

Elain knew exactly where he slept by scent alone, a warm morning breeze infused by something like hot caramel dripping down his skin. She could smell it in the entire house, its trail infuriatingly following her no matter how far she’d tried to escape—a constant reminded of the thorn in her side.

A silent grimace twisted her face as she remembered he’d used a smilier analogy to describe her a few hours ago—and with that, Elain promptly decided to go to sleep.

At least in his absence, there was no steady thrumming lulling her into dreams she could not allow her mind to drift into again. Lucien’s heart had a quiet beat that no one else seemed to hear—in the manor, or even the House of Wind back when the two of them had briefly occupied it at the same time. Elain could hear it well enough, though—chanting the same words over and over again, as though repeating them persistently would make them any less of a lie.

Mate. You are mine and I am yours.

Elain groaned into her pillow, keeping her face there to inhale the clean scent of cotton instead.

The softness of the fabric seemed to have done its job well enough, because Elain’s thoughts eventually slowed and her jaw relaxed, lips parting slightly to take a quiet breath. A few more and she felt herself falling—her body sinking into the mattress, into the darkness enveloping her slowly…

Elain squinted as she spotted a light somewhere at its very end. It shone a soft glow, inviting her closer.

She began moving through the shadows, thick and stalling her every step as though intent on keeping her away from the light. But Elain knew, with a certainty she didn’t think she’d ever felt before, that she was meant to follow that light—that once she reached it, she would never get lost in the darkness again.

As she approached the end—or perhaps, the very beginning—the light became clearer, taking up a shape. It formed into muscle first—hard and golden-brown as it built a tall, powerful frame. A broad chest, with a silky white fabric draped over it, and an arm adorned by a golden cuff, slithering around the impressive bicep.

Elain could not tear her gaze away—she found that she didn’t want to. The light was far too warm, far too compelling, for her to ever want to be near anything else.

But then, the light was given a face.

It twirled a bright russet and a glittering gold, looking down on her from beneath dark lashes. Elain backed up a step, darkness already swooshing thickly behind her—ready to wrap its tendrils around her body and pull her in, never to return again.

Those strong arms reached out for her, finding their way around her waist, grounding her and offering her safety. She found herself leaning into them—into the sculpted chest as she noticed the very light that seduced her had come exactly from it. It shone quietly beneath his skin, and Elain could’ve sworn that if she focused, she could hear its gentle thrum.

She placed a hand on that light, the feel of it washing over her like the first ray of sunlight as it rose over the night sky. Elain looked up then—to meet those eyes of russet and gold, realising she no longer wanted to back away.

Lucien smiled down at her, his large hand covering her own. “Listen, Elain,” he said, his voice filled with an emotion that made her own heart ache. “It beats only for you.”

She opened her mouth to answer him—to place his hand on her chest, too, perhaps—when a flitting sound sounded behind her.

Wings.

Elain jolted awake.

Her gaze immediately snapped to the windowsill—to where she’d forgotten to close the window to her bedroom fully—and found nothing but a small, chirping sparrow, taking its rest happily before resuming into the fading night.

Elain sighed in relief and went back to sleep.

———

Feyre’s midnight-sharp talons brushed against the gates to Rhys’s mind, a solid wall of impenetrable darkness.

The touch was met with twinkling laughter. Yes, Feyre darling?

A picture flashed down the bond, and Feyre smiled at the sight of Nyx, cooing happily in Rhys's arms. His big, blue eyes looked into his father’s, widening as though he saw the whole wide sky inside them. Perhaps he had.

Feyre caressed the sight down the bond, then stored it deep in a quiet, glowing chamber of her heart. Actually, she started, no longer wishing to disrupt them, I think I can handle this one myself.

A low hum sounded his agreement. I have no doubt that you can. She watched as he carefully set the baby down, Nyx’s small wings rising on instinct to accommodate the new position. Still, allow me to listen in? He’d comply with whatever answer she gave him—at her side or in the shadows, her mate would step back if that was what she wished.

As if she ever could. We are a team, she told him.

Rhys glanced at their son. That we are, he agreed softly.

Feyre smiled, then blinked, the image slowly fading away to be replaced by the palette of cool greens and mahogany woods of the drawing room. She sent the location down the bond. Gwyn is here, she told her mate, smiling at the priestess sitting opposite from her, teal eyes watching the silent conversation curiously.

Rhys appeared a moment later, foregoing winnowing straight into the room for a quiet knock on the door signalling his presence. Gwyn stood up as he entered, bowing slightly to the High Lord the same way she had as Feyre let her in.

“Please, don’t stop on my account,” he told her in a manner of greeting before taking his seat beside Feyre. “Where is Nesta?” he asked her.

Feyre huffed. “Running late.”

Rhys’s mouth twisted into a shit-eating grin. Who would’ve thought freshly mated couples would’ve bothered you this much, Feyre darling.

Prick.

As though summoned by the wind carrying her name, Nesta suddenly appeared, reaching them from the doorway in a few quick strides, a heavy scent wrapped tightly around her skin. Gwyn, apparently well-acquainted with such entrances, rolled her eyes as her friend plopped on the cushions beside her.

Rhys sighed deeply. “Cassian?”

Nesta waved a hand. “Otherwise occupied.”

“What does that mean?” Feyre frowned.

Nesta snickered, more to herself than the rest of them gathered, “It means he is to remain exactly where I’d left him until I’m available again.”

Please, Rhys’s voice slid into her head again, for my sake, don’t ask her any more questions.

Feyre teased, I only worry for poor Cassian, of course.

Rhys’s expression looked pained. Something tells me Cassian is right where he wants to be.

Gwyn, thank the Mother, cleared her throat, giving Nesta a look that was almost scolding. “Shall we, then?”

Rhys looked at her as though she’d just declared world peace. “Please.”

The priestess chuckled, leaning over the coffee table. “Merril, unsurprisingly, was a dead end—but I believe I was able to find something interesting,” she said and, with a flick of her wrist, a stack of documents appeared, the fragrant smell of ancient scrolls mercifully cleansing the room. She looked at them both, meeting Feyre’s gaze directly. “What do you know of the fourth Dread Trove?”

She felt her mate’s surprise flicker down the bond.

“Next to nothing,” Feyre answered for him. “As far as history is concerned, there are only three,” she added, recalling Rhys’s words from months ago.

“Amren had once mentioned it,” Rhys said, Gwyn’s shoulders rolling back at the name of their Second as if on instinct. “There were rumours of it—rumours from her time. Whispers that it had been lost, or perhaps Unmade.” He angled his head, considering. “I believe that’s about the extent of it.”

Gwyn nodded. “That is correct. I was hardly able to gather any information on the existing Troves, let alone one only ever spoken about in rumours.” She shuffled through a small stack of papers, a silvery glint of a bracelet catching Feyre’s eye as her hands moved. “The library at the House of Wind holds very little information on magical objects or artifacts. Most of the priestesses choose to specialise in active history, or the events that shaped our cultures—our languages, our music—and as such, we have never had the need to collect knowledge that might have been more useful to other researchers.” She frowned. “Or so Clotho has said, at least.” Rhys nodded, though something about his shimmering gaze told Feyre the library’s collection would soon be undergoing a vast improvement.

“I wasn’t exactly hopeful,” Gwyn continued, “until I remembered something Nesta had told me about months ago. A vision, sent to her by one of the Prison’s…residents.”

“Lanthys,” Feyre whispered, recalling her sister’s horrifying encounter with the deathly mist-god. She glanced at Nesta, her sister’s expression almost bored as she casually sipped from her tea.

The priestess nodded again. “Nesta recalled a fourth object on the Dread Troves’ altar.” She looked at Nesta expectantly.

Nesta set down her cup. “I could not see much,” she admitted, “the vision was veiled in mist. But I remember the gleam of it to this day—a bone, aged and worn-out, yet still containing ancient, powerful magic.” Her hand tightened on the cup for only a moment. “It called to me. Cauldron-made to Cauldron-made. There was no denying it.”

Rhys asked, “You believe the fourth Trove is that bone?”

“It’s our only lead,” Gwyn said, “And, as it appears, not entirely a dead end.” She lifted a piece of parchment, a yellowed image painted above a text in a langue Feyre did not follow. “This is an old myth about the Seers—ones from so long before our time the exact date still remains in question,” she explained. “It seems their talents could be controlled by music—they listened to specific tones and melodies to clear their minds of the fog, usually clouding parts of their visions—and, sometimes, to even alleviate the pain.”

Nesta stilled. “Pain?”

Gwyn nodded. “It appears pain is a common side effect to the Sight. This text claims Seers are known to experience the physical impact of whatever the Sight is showing them—for example, foreseeing a stabbing might result in a Seer feeling a sharp-like sensation in their gut. Or wherever else the person would be stabbed, I suppose.”

Nesta looked aghast at the news. She looked at Feyre. “Did you know about this?”

Feyre could only stare—at her sister, then at Rhys. “No,” she whispered.

Elain had once foreseen Hybern’s twin Ravens. Had she…?

You can’t think about that right now, Rhys’s gentle voice sounded in her mind again like a soothing touch. We can only help Elain by moving forward now.

Feyre nodded, though her throat still felt tight.

“How does this tie to the fourth Trove?” Rhys asked Gwyn, ever so patient.

The priestess slid the parchment across the table. “Take a look at what the eldest Seer is holding.”

Feyre glanced down and stilled.

“Is that…” she started, the question dying on her tongue.

“A bone,” Gwyn agreed, finishing it for her. “According to this text, it was the eldest Seer’s family heirloom, taken from the body of his ancestor, that he used to enhance his abilities.” She glanced at the two rulers across from her. “It could not only clear the fog, but allow him to navigate his visions as he pleased, stay within them for as long as he needed, sometimes replaying it over and over before its meaning became clear to him at last. It is also said,” the priestess added, “that the Bone could be used to induce visions, allowing the Seer to find answers to whatever questions pressing him at the time.”

Feyre sucked in a breath. “This—this could change everything.”

Gwyn’s freckled face seemed grim. “Unfortunately, this is all I was able to find on the Bone, and even it being a Dread Trove is only my theory. The myth does not stem from a different, original text—finding anything even remotely related to this story would require the aid of researchers far more experienced than I am.”

Feyre looked at Rhys.

“Please don’t tell me you’re actually considering this,” Nesta sighed, seemingly reading the silent words from her sister’s face.

Feyre narrowed her gaze. “You may not like him, but he is perhaps the only ally we have that we could trust with this.”

Nesta nodded. “I know—I’ll go.”

Rhys straightened, as though another voice had just requested permission into his mind. “I believe that won’t be necessary,” he said after a second of a pause.

The entryway flashed auburn, revealing none other than—

“No need to start brooding, Nesta Archeron,” Lucien drawled, Nesta’s eyes flashing an ice-cold flame. His gaze slid to Feyre. “And here I thought I was the one bringing the news,” he added, Rhys apparently having already filled him in on the conversation mind-to-mind.

Rhys smiled at Gwyn, who gaped at the newest guest—at the golden eye and the cruel scar slashed across it. “Thank you, Gwyn. Your help has been more invaluable than I can put into words”

Gwyn’s returning smile was tight. “If only there was an easier way to do this.”

Feyre sighed, resting her back against the soft seat. “I really miss the Bone Carver.”

———

Lucien returned the next day, his face unreadable enough to make Elain shift on her feet.

She did not know where he’d gone that had taken up an entire night and half the day—but the looming speculation that his absence had something to do with Elain grew heavier and heavier over her with each passing minute he was gone.

Jurian was already awake—had been since midday, actually, a fact that made Elain have to keep from gritting her teeth as the general seemed to have made it his mission to follow her around the house every step of the way. His mistrust towards his friend’s mate was nearly palpable, and no amount of polite smiles or I’m just going to go and find something to read had managed to keep him away as she tried to search for the godsdamned box.

Elain was growing more and more desperate. She’d been given a week, and a task that had originally seemed doable enough (find a way into the manor, search for the stolen box, deliver it back to its original owner) was very quickly proving more difficult than anticipated. The box was here—she could sense it now, its magic calling out her name and filling her nostrils with the mouldy scent of earth. Vassa had hidden it well enough, though—Elain could not, for the life of her, find its location based on scent alone, silently cursing herself for not using all those months to ask Rhysand’s shadowy wraiths for basic tracking training. What good would all that baking do to her now?

The most important thing was that she remained at the house—that she kept distracting its occupants with a smile after smile, vision after vision, spilled blood after spilled blood, until she finally found the one thing she’d been asked to do and be rewarded with, quite literally, everything.

By the end of this week, Elain Archeron was going to, once again, become human.

And then…then she could finally live.

When Lucien found her, she was lounging in the drawing room, her favourite childhood book she’d found in the study propped up innocently on her knees as Jurian watched her closely from a corner. She sat up immediately, dread building in her chest all over again as she met Lucien’s hardened stare.

I know what you did, he could say. I’ve looked into your soul and found the rot you’ve invited into it. I know who you are, Elain Archeron, and I won’t ever let you become who you’re supposed to be.

Lucien sighed deeply. “Pack your things, sunshine. We’re going to the Day Court.”

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kimbappykidding · 2 years ago

Text

Part One Here

Baekhyun had known your members for years and through you got to hear more about them and he decided Nayeon would be the best person for his scheme. Jihyo, Jeongyeon and Sana would likely tell you right away. Mina, Tyuzu and Momo might not know how to discreetly ask you if they didn't know the answer. Chayoung and Dahyun were wild cards and so that left Nayeon as the safest option but how to approach her? Baekhyun figured some award show after-party would be his best bet. There would be tons of people and he could surely get Nayeon alone...easier said than done when she had so many members. Whenever she went to the bar or the toilet someone went with her and Baekhyun thought he might not have a chance to talk to her...when Tzuyu who was guarding the table with Nayeon walked away leaving her alone. Baekhyun made a quick excuse to Lay about the bathroom and appeared beside her. "Hi!" he said sitting down next to her and Nayeon jumped "hi". "So we might not have much time so I'll just come out with it. Please don't tell Y/n but Suho is really enjoying being back with her and we've all been wondering if it will develop into more". Nayeon nodded "we've been thinking the exact same!". Baekhyun nodded "have you asked Y/n? What did she say?". Nayeon paused, unsure if you just tell Baekhyun and he smiled at her "I'm only asking because Suho wants it to be more but he's scared to ask Y/n in case she doesn't want to be and it ruins their relationship". He hoped telling Nayeon this would be a show of good faith and it worked. Nayeon looked down "we have asked Y/n but ages ago and she said they didn't work out dating last time so why would it work out this time?". Baekhyun was shocked and upset on behalf of Suho but Nayeon continued "however the girls pointed out that was ages ago when they were different people. Plus they never had this amazing chemistry and passion, so we told her it might be different now". "What did she say?" Baekhyun asked and Nayeon sighed "not much but she didn't disagree with our points...but like I said that was a few months ago so there's a chance she's changed her mind". "Do you think you could ask her?" Baekhyun asked "if you tell me that she has changed her mind then I can encourage Suho to ask her out! I just need to know Y/n won't break his heart". "Y/n would never be mean" Nayeon argued and Baekhyun nodded "I know but he's really fallen for her so if he worked up the courage to ask her and she said no it'd be hard for him. If she says no I won't tell him but we'll stop suggesting it to him and setting him up to fail". Nayeon nodded "okay, I'll speak to Y/n and text you?". "Yes, here's my number!" Baekhyun said handing her a slip of paper he'd already prepared. Nayeon nodded "okay I'll let you know as soon as I know" and with a wave she walked away.

Baekhyun didn't hear back for a whole week and the suspense was killing him. He'd drafted a message asking Nayeon if she'd asked you yet like 10 times before he stopped not wanting to be pushy. Nayeon was well aware Baekhyun was waiting for a reply but honestly there hadn't been any good time! You'd all been really busy with schedules and Nayeon hadn't got to be alone with you in ages. She knew if she just blurted it out to you, you’d immediately know something was up so she had to bide her time.Then one evening you were staying in and your roommate Jihyo was heading out. So Nayeon appeared at your door with a big smile. "What's going on?" you asked, clearly suspicious and Nayeon did her best to play it cool. "Nothing just we've hardly spoken all week and I missed you, fancy a catch-up?". "Of course!" you said welcoming her in and Nayeon flopped onto your bed with you. "Okay so what's new? How's your dating doing?". Nayeon quickly got roped into telling you the date she'd been on a few days ago and half an hour later she realised she'd gotten sidetracked. "Now enough about me, how are you? How's Suho?" Nayeon asked. You smiled at the mention of his name and nodded "he's good! He's back home this week because it's his brother's birthday". Nayeon nodded "cute, he's a good brother". You nodded "yeah he's so nice" and she smiled "and still hot?". You blushed nodding and Nayeon giggled "it's so nice that his niceness doesn't cancel that out". "If anything it makes it stronger" you explained "I see him being so kind and sweet and that makes me attracted to him and then he takes his shirt off and I want him even more". Nayeon laughed "that totally makes sense, nice guys are so hot" and you nodded. "So things are good between you?" Nayeon asked and you nodded "really good". Nayeon took a breath before going for the million-pound question "good enough for you to consider going official?". You paused and were quiet for a few seconds "I'm not sure". "Are you still worried about if you'd make it as a couple?" Nayeon asked. You nodded "yeah... it's difficult because I know we've changed but I'm happy now so why change it?". Nayeon paused "well I guess there's no reason to...except the security side of things". "Security side?" you asked and Nayeon nodded "yeah just if you're not exclusive Suho's allowed to sleep with other girls right?". You paused "I guess...". "Would you be okay with that?". The thought honestly hadn't occurred to you but now it did you knew the answer "no". Nayeon frowned "yeah I’d be the same...but I also agree with you, you should only date Suho if you want to be his girlfriend not just because you don't want someone else to be". You frowned "see that sounds nice, being Suho's girlfriend". Nayeon smiled "it does?" and you nodded "I'm just worried about all the expectation it brings with it! We already broke up once so there's added pressure for things to succeed this time and that's a lot to think about. Whereas at the moment there's none of that". "Who would put this pressure on you?" Nayeon asked "because you know none of us would think badly of you if you broke up. People break up all the time and breaking up is actually an incredibly mature thing to do. It's you showing you know when to call it a day and saving each other any hurt or pain. There's no shame in it". You nodded "I guess the pressure would come from me...and I don't want to hurt Suho, I'd hate myself if I hurt him". Nayeon took your hand "don't worry we all know you don't want to hurt him and Suho knows that". You nodded feeling teary and Nayeon squeezed your hand "plus I think you make Suho really happy so there's no need to worry about that. In a relationship or not he's smitten with you so you definitely make him happy". You blushed "thanks Nayeon" and she smiled "no problem" hugging you "wanna watch a movie?" and you nodded. Nayeon felt like she was low-key betraying you but she texted Baekhyun telling him you wanted to date Suho but were scared of the pressure increasing and of hurting Suho. Baekhyun thought you were so sweet and found it so telling how your main concern was hurting Suho. He thought that more than anything was why the two of you should be together. If you cared about someone that much you should give it a go but now he had to convince Suho of that. He told Nayeon he would encourage Suho delicately and she asked him to let her know if he needed her to do anything more. Mission infiltrate your group was a resounding success. Baekhyun was a lot less subtle than Nayeon when he appraoched Suho. "So have you thought any more about asking Y/n out?" Baekhyun asked him one afternoon. Everyone paused confused where the topic had come from and Suho blushed "no...why?". "I just think you should" Baekhyun said with a smile "that's all". Suho shook his head "I have no idea if Y/n wants that". "I think she would" Baekhyun said "if you just explain to her that second time's the charm and reassure her there's no pressure I'm sure she'd be on board". Suho didn't speak anymore on the topic but Baekhyun's words did stick with him and he thought about them every time he saw you. He decided he'd just have to go for it and was going to ask you after today's award show. You looked beautiful and Suho told you so as soon as he could at the afterparty. You blushed "you look good yourself". Suho smiled and went to reply when someone knocked into Suho. It was Red Velvet's Irene and she rushed to apologise and insisted on buying Suho a drink. You'd noticed Irene paying more attention to Suho recently and wondered if you weren't the only one who'd noted Suho's hotness. As you saw the two of the talking an idea occurred to you. Irene seemed into Suho and Suho's admiration of Irene was well known. Maybe they'd like to hook up too and you decided to let them because Nayeon's words had hit home but in an unexpected way. You realised it was wrong to gatekeep Suho and were searching for a way to tell him it was okay if he wanted to hook up with other girls. You couldn't have zero labels and also tell him what to do. You figured this was the best way to avoid hurting Suho, you weren't dating him so couldn't hurt him that way but were also setting him free by letting him know he didn't owe you anything. It was a win-win! So when he returned from the bar you smiled "you can go dance with Irene if you want" you said and Suho smiled at you "no it's fine". "Seriously" you smiled back at him "I know you've always had a thing for her so go. You don't owe me anything we're not together". Suho paused his smile vanishing "I know but I'm here with you...". "You're too nice" you laughed trying to play it cool "we're not a couple so go do whatever you want to do with Irene, that's the plus of not being official right? No restraints" you said shooting Suho a bright smile which you didn't truly feel. Suho meanwhile felt so shaken. It was totally within your right to not want to date him but to hear you say it was another thing. Suho felt really upset and he couldn't bring himself to smile. "Well if that's what you want" he said and you nodded "for you to be happy? Yeah" and so Suho walked away without another word.

Meanwhile Baekhyun and Nayeon were watching the two of you for any sign Suho had asked you to be official. They saw how tense the two of you were but mistook that for "telling someone you want to date them" tension not "telling the person you like to go hook up with a beautiful idol". "Oh they look serious!" Baekhyun said excitedly and Nayeon sat forward "he must be asking her! I hope he can convince her". "He can" Baekhyun said "plus Y/n wants to be with him! So I bet after he tells her there's no pressure that will be it. She'll collapse into his arms". Nayeon grinned excitedly and then paused seeing you smile "oh she's happy! He must've said it!". Baekhun paused because Suho still seemed really tense but you were indeed really smiley. Then Suho nodded and Baekhyun figured Nayeon was right...until he got up and walked right to Irene. "What is going on?" Nayeon asked. You watched Suho walk away and let out a shaky breath. You felt like you were going to burst into tears any second and wondered why. Shouldn't you feel good after doing the right thing? Suho approached Irene and you saw the girl smile brightly when she saw him. They looked so good together and Irene was the it girl of SM. It surely wouldn't be long before Suho switched from her to you but at least if he ended it with you instead of you hurting him, you wouldn't be able to hurt him. That was surely better but it didn't make you feel any better. "Hey are you okay?" Nayeon asked sitting down next to you and you nodded "yeah of course, are you?". She nodded not taking her eyes off you "what happened with Suho". You paused blinking "I...told him to go for it with Irene". Nayeon frowned "wait but why? You like him so why would you encourage him to get with another girl". You tried to explain it was for his own good but your words got muddled and before you knew it you were crying. Nayeon knew you wouldn't want Suho to see so she rushed you from the room to somewhere more private. Baekhyun saw you burst into tears and knew the conversation couldn't have gone well. Especially because Suho was definitely flirting with Irene and very successfully. Baekhyun was worried Suho was going to ruin whatever he had with you tonight so he quickly stepped in. "Hey Irene, Yeri was looking for you". "She was?" Irene asked leader mode kicking in "is she okay?". "I don't know but she said something about needing you and she seemed a little stressed". Irene frowned "I'll go see if I can find her thanks Baekhyun" and she rushed away. Suho knew Baekhyun was lying and turned to him "what was that for?". "What are you doing?" Baekhyun replied "why would you do this to Y/n?". Suho looked down "Y/n suggested it". "What!" Baekhyun cried and Suho sighed "she told me we're just casual and she likes that. She doesn't want a thing to change...except for me to hook up with other girls. I figured it must be because she's seeing other people and has only just realised I've not been. I feel like such an idiot" Suho said and Baekhyun went to tell him he must've got something wrong when Irene returned. "Yeri said she never asked me and none of the other girls did" looking at Baekhyun. Baekhyun paused "is she sure? Was it not her?". "Baekhyun what's going on?" Irene asked and Baekhyun turned to Suho "Hyung I really need to speak with you". Suho shook his head "stop messing around Baekhyun and leave us alone" and he put his arm around Irene and led her away. Suho and Irene danced for a while and flirted back and forth. They'd always been friendly but this was definitely something more and Irene had never looked at him the way she was tonight. Suho supposed he must be the luckiest guy in the world to have Irene look at him like that but he didn't feel happy on the inside no matter how smiley he was on the outside. All he could think of was you and how you didn't want him. They stopped dancing to grab a drink and Suho couldn't help but look around for you but you were nowhere to be seen. He wondered where you'd gone when Irene spoke "looking for someone?". "Of course not, who could look anywhere else when you're right in front of them?". Irene laughed "sure you weren't looking for Y/n?". Suho shook his head "no not at all, why would I?" replying far too quickly. "Are you and Y/n not a thing?" Irene asked "I'd heard you were back together". "We hook up but we're not together" Suho said "trust me that won't be an issue at all". "So she's okay with this?" Irene asked and Suho nodded "super okay". "And are you?" Irene asked and Suho froze. "What? Of course I'm okay with this! You're really pretty and I've always had a thing for you". Irene paused "are you sure? I saw you with Y/n earlier and you seem a little off sorts, did you argue or something?". Suho paused "I...not exactly". "Are you sure?" Irene asked "Suho we don't have to do anything if you're unsure. I don't like interfering with couples". "But we're not a couple and we never will be!" Suho said snapping and then he sighed saying it again slower "we're never going to be a couple again...I got my one shot with her and I blew it". Meanwhile outside Nayeon had finally calmed you down and understood the situation. "So you figured the only way you could still be with him and not hurt him was to let him date other people?" Nayeon asked and you nodded. "I figured I couldn't have him without sharing him so thought if I encouraged him to see other people then it wouldn't be so bad". "Y/n!" Nayeon said hugging you "I never said you were a bad person! I was just encouraging you to be open to dating Suho because he wants to ask you out!". "He does?" you asked and Nayeon paused "probably shouldn't have told you that". Suho felt like such a mess. Irene had been really nice to him and promised they could still be friends. She also told him to go and talk to you but Suho couldn't face any more rejection. So he was just heading home so he could dive head-first into bed when Chen and Kai approached him. "Hey is Y/n okay?" Chen asked and Suho paused "Y/n, I think so why?". "We saw her crying and wanted to make sure she was alright". "Crying? When?" Suho asked. They frowned "erm about an hour ago" Kai said and Chen nodded "it was after you two talked. Nayeon came over to her and she started crying". Suho felt so confused but he knew he had to make sure you were okay. "Did you see where she went?" he asked but they both shook their heads. Suho was looking around for you when he heard someone call his name. It was Baekhyun. "Can we talk now?" he asked and Suho shook his head "no where's Y/n? I need to talk to her". "I know where she is, we can talk on the way" Baekhyun said and he led Suho outside. "Nayeon what do you mean Suho wants to date me?" you asked and the girl sighed "okay don't hate me but Baekhyun told me Suho wanted to ask you to be his girlfriend but was worried you'd say no. Baekhyun didn't want Suho to get hurt so he asked me to see if you were open to dating Suho". "So that's what all those questions were the other day!" you said and Nayeon nodded "I'm so sorry but I just didn't want Suho to get hurt and Y/n I really think you'd be good together. You don't need to be this afraid". You sighed and went to argue when Suho stepped into the area where you were sat. Baekhyun had explained how Nayeon had asked you if you wanted to date and how they'd gotten in this mess. Suho was horrified and felt so bad. He couldn't believe he'd made you cry and no matter how much Baekhyun tried to comfort him he felt so guilty. Then Suho saw you, with your puffy red eyes and he froze. Seeing you so upset and knowing he was the cause was way worse actually seeing the evidence of it and he couldn't believe he'd been so stupid. You looked up and saw him and he realised he should probably move. "Suho?" you asked and he paused before coming towards you "Y/n I'm so sorry I made you cry! I only went after Irene because I thought you didn't want me and were trying to make me less clingy". "No I was trying to be nice and not leave you tied to me". "But I want to be tied to you" Suho said "in any way possible" and you blushed. "Okay so we're going to go" Baekhyun said gesturing to Nayeon and they rushed away leaving the two of you alone. Silence settled and Suho looked at you "can I sit down?" and you nodded. "So Baekhyun's told me some things Nayeon's said but I want to hear it from you... I'd like to date you Y/n but I understand you have some worries about that". You sighed "I just don't want to hurt you...what if it doesn't work and we've gone through all this for nothing?". "Well you could argue that with any relationship" Suho argued and you nodded "yeah but there's more pressure with us because we already broke up once before". Suho paused "well I don't think so, people get back together all the time! Chen and his wife broke up 3 times in their first year of dating and now look at them". "They did?" you asked and Suho nodded "people make mistakes Y/n but that's never a reason not to try, if you think you might be happy...". You paused "I just don't want to hurt you" and Suho took your hand "Y/n that is so sweet but you don't have to worry about that. I'm a big strong boy and even if we did break up I'd of course be upset but it'd be okay again eventually. So please don't worry about me. Just think of what you want because that's all I care about". You blushed "are you sure? You don't think I should be worried?". "I meant everything I said Y/n" and you nodded. "The I'd want to be your girlfriend" and Suho smiled "really?" and you nodded. Suho grinned "Y/n I will happily be your boyfriend" and he hugged you tightly. "You've made me so happy" Suho said and you smiled "I hope I always will". Suho pulled away and rested his hand on your chin "don't even worry about it, you do it naturally" and he kissed you. When you finally pulled away Suho sighed and bundled you against his chest "I'll never stop being grateful for the guys forcing me to show off my abs" Suho said and you laughed. "It wasn't just the abs that brought me back". Suho smiled "you sure?" and you melted at the way he was looking at you. "Okay I'll find some way to thank the guys too" making Suho smiled "I will also got to find some way to thank the guys but I'm hoping our methods will be very different" Suho said huskily and you swallowed "I hope so too". "Want to go try them out?" Suho asked "I've got a girlfriend to take care of". You nodded and both rushed to get back to Suho's. The next morning, you came downstairs together holding hands and the guys all noticed but didn't say anything. Baekhyun looked like he was dying to but D.O. had clearly threatened him or something because the boy was on his best behaviour. You felt bad for him so looked to Suho who smiled. "Just so you guys know my girlfriend might be over a lot more" and everyone froze. "Girlfriend?" Chanyeol asked and Suho nodded taking your hand "we're back together". The guys cheered and rushed to offer you their congratulations and Baekhyun claimed all the credit. "It was me who got them together you know?" he called loudly and you turned to him. "Yes that reminds me, you and Nayeon were scheming behind our backs weren't you". "Yeah...having those secret talks" Suho said putting a hand on his arm and Baekhyun froze "I...we only did it out of love and now look! The two of you are back together so you're welcome". You smiled "oh we'll find a way to thank you right Suho?". Suho nodded "definitely". Baekhyun paused looking between you two "I don't know if to be scared or turned on" making Suho lunge for him. Baekhyun screamed and ran around the house as Suho chased him. You watched amused until Lay gently touched your arm. "It's good to have you back Y/n". You smiled "good to be back".

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youvebeenlivingfictionalnbcyoa · 2 years ago

Text

You Definitely Are

Starting Choose Your Own Adventure Post

Warnings: Fluff; cursing

Yes, you’re tired. Yes, your knee hurts. But you didn’t come all this way to stay in your room and not get any face-time with Bateman. If that had been the plan, you never would’ve shown at all.

“Yeah,” You nod. “Yeah, I’ll be there. But, um—” You try not to get sidetracked by the way Nathan’s eyes seem to brighten with intrigue, “If I’m gonna be there, I should probably, you know. Shower and stuff.”

“Of course. C’mon.”

Nathan waves you after him, leading the way out of the room. You trail him back to the elevator, pass still in hand. It’s just another floor down before Nathan is nodding you toward a keypad in the hall. You raise your pass to it almost hesitantly, as if you expect him to lead you don't think it’ll work—as if you expect him to lead you wrong. Maybe you do, a little. You don’t exactly trust his instincts; he did invite you all up on a seemingly tipsy whim.

Nonetheless, the keypad changes color; you hear the lock click. You pull the door open and step inside, looking around. The room is large, and furnished more nicely than you’d expected. You shrug your bag off, dropping it at the end of the bed and drifting deeper inside. You lightly trail your fingers over the end of the bed, looking at the screen, then down at the small glowing fridge.

“Like it?” Bateman asks.

“It’s nice,” You nod, glancing back at him.

“Nicer than you thought?”

“Way nicer than I thought,” You nod. “I figured you’d be one of those like, weirdly stingy rich guys. I was expecting an air mattress.”

“I can get you an air mattress.”

“I said I was expecting it, not that I want it.”

“What else were you expecting?”

“Well,” You sigh, planting your hands on your hips, “I was hoping you’d actually turn up to the field in, like, a Jeep from the set of Jurassic Park.”

“Maybe get Will to do the, uh—The sunglasses pull off when I pull up to the facility.”

“He’d do it.”

“So you would be the Ellie Satler in that scenario?”

“Eesh, I don’t know. I think if he gripped and turned my head, I’d sock him in the stomach.”

Nathan chuckles, turning from you. “I’ll see you at dinner.”

“What are we having?”

“Fun.”

“What are we eating,” You clarify.

“You’ll see.”

Nathan gives you one more smile before he leaves, shutting the door behind himself. You find yourself biting your lip as he goes, your hand rising to scrub over your warming neck. Okay. So maybe you shouldn't be all that worried about the next few days.

You try not to find the fact that William and Dan are still in their hiking clothes too funny. Dan at least looks pretty cute. He's always been a handsome man—towering over the rest of you at 6'4, he has dark skin and an athletic build. Frankly, he looks pretty good in his hiking clothes. But William looks like he went to hell and back and didn’t even get a t-shirt while he was down there. He looks miserable. It almost makes helping him with his bags worth it. You look away from him, eyeing your plate and poking at the few remaining pieces of pasta.

“So,” Nathan shifts in the seat beside you, taking hold of his wine and taking it up. “Obviously we’ll have a few days to get down to the real nitty-gritty, you know, the harsh stuff, but let’s just do a friendly little thought experiment.”

You raise your brows, glancing between the guys and Nathan as he goes on—

“In your opinion, given the knowledge of the market and your previous work experience, am I taking the company in the right direction?”

The question plunges you all into tense silence. It’s as if you’re all afraid to look around, afraid to breathe—as if Nathan’s just passed awful gas and not asked a simple question. But it’s not a simple question, is it, or a friendly little thought experiment, as he said.

It’s a test.

You never did like tests.

“Absolutely—”

“I couldn’t think of a better direction—”

Dan and William practically trip over themselves to answer, and you can hardly stop your eye roll. It’s done with such force that it tips your head to the side. Within seconds, you feel the weight of their gazes.

“...I’ve got two answers,” Nathan pipes up. “Am I gonna get a third?”

“You want more of the same?” You ask.

“I want honesty.”

“You really think that what you just got from them was honest?”

It flies out of your mouth, and it’s a mistake. This dinner is supposed to be nice and light, something easy to set the tone for the next few days. Now, not only are you the only dissenting opinion, but you just technically threw your fellow Chief Officers under the bus in front of the company’s founder and CEO.

“...You don’t think it was?” Nathan presses.

Shit. You clear your throat, running your finger along the stem of your wine glass.

“I don’t think…That Dan and William spoke outta their ass, but I think they were kissing yours a little when they did,” You admit before glancing doggedly at the two men across the table. “No offense, guys.”

“None taken,” Dan raises his glass in a cheers. William says nothing, just grunts and slides down in his seat a little.

“So?” Nathan presses. “What’s your answer, honest or otherwise?”

You scoff a scornful laugh, unable to help it. “What can I say without you busting my balls or thinking I’m jumping on the band wagon here?”

“You must think I’m heading in the right direction if you’re worried about that.” His smile is smug as he says so. You push a sigh out through your nose, directing your gaze toward the ceiling as you consider.

“I think the way you’re headed, yeah, it suits the market. But we’re lagging behind in certain areas and that makes me nervous.”

“Which areas?—Don’t say chat AI—”

“Look, like it or not, Microsoft got out of the gate first and Google’s jumping to catch up,” You speak up. “You have the resources, you have the data, and…I don’t know what the fuck you’re waiting for to enact it, but,” You wave your hand. “We’ve been market leaders and now it’s going to seem like we’re falling behind because Microsoft wanted to show everyone how big their dick is. And like it or not, it's looking pretty big.”

The room is a different kind of quiet. It’s testy, and nerve wracking.

“...Shots!” Dan pipes up. “Y’all want shots? Will, let’s go, uh—” He shoves his chair back, “C’mon, I think I saw a bottle of tequila earlier.”

William moves slowly, and you’re not sure if he’s trying to catch in on any conversation, if he’s tired, or if he’s still stinging from the comment that you made. You look after them as they go before you redirect your gaze to Nathan. He’s shifted in his seat, gaze lingering heavily on your face.

“...Should I go update my resume?” You ask after a moment.

Nathan doesn’t answer before he pushes himself up from the table. Oh, what the hell—

“Come with me.”

You frown at the order, brows raising. Double what the hell—?

“Come on,” Nathan insists.

“What about—”

“Fuck them, get up,” He waves you toward him. “Let’s go.”

You hesitate before you groan, pushing yourself out of your seat and following him to the doorway. Is he going to lead you out into the woods and leave you to die or something?

“Where are we going?” You ask, quickening your pace to keep up as he leads you around the corner. Nathan doesn’t answer. He just raises his pass to a keypad and opens the door.

“Are you just gonna be all stony silent and…” You trail off, stepping in behind him. “And…” Your gaze sweeps across the row of monitors, the computer towers, the wall practically papered in post-its.

“And what?” Nathan pushes into your silence.

“And…Weird—What is this?” You take the document held out to you.

“Sign it,” He orders.

“Dude, let me read it first, I don’t sign shit all willy-nilly.” Your eyes scan the test, brow furrowing as you take it all in—

The signee agrees to regular data audit with unlimited access, to confirm that no disclosure of information has taken place, in public or private forums, using any means of communication, including but not limited to that which is disclosed orally or in written or electronic form…

“This is a fucking NDA,” You say.

“Loving that reading comprehension.”

You glance up as he holds a pen out, his brows raised in expectation.

“...What is this for?” You press.

“Sign it, and I will show you where all that fucking data is going. You want your answers, I’ve got them. But you’ve got to sign this, and you cannot tell anyone, including the guys.”

You frown, gaze sweeping over his face. You’re not sure if you trust him or not…But goddamn, you’re curious. You pluck the pen out of his hand, striding over to the table and setting the page down, scribbling your signature across it and dating the page.

“Leave it there,” Nathan orders. “And follow me.”

“Have you always been this bossy?” You grouse, hurrying to keep up again as he leaves the room.

The rows of lighted cases initially leave you with more questions than answers. You look around, frowning as you peer inside, and turning to look at Nathan as he reaches into a case. He’s holding an orb, a smooth, translucent surface with flickering lights and tendrils shifting beneath the surface.

“...What the hell is this?” You ask, leaning against the case and peering down into his hands.

“Wetware.”

“Which is…?”

“The basis of BlueBook’s next step.”

You’re quiet for a moment, hesitant as he passes it over to you. It’s a little lighter than you expected, far more squishy than you thought it would be.

“Is this a gel?” You ask, fighting the urge to squeeze it.

“Had to get away from circuitry. I needed something more malleable.” Nathan dips his head to catch and hold your eye. “This,” He points to the unit in your hand. “Is going to be more fucking significant than any of those chatbots. This is where we’re going.”

“...Why are you telling me this?” You shake your head. “You could’ve left me with my questions.”

“Because people like you are going to move this company forward.”

It sends a bolt of shock through you. You don’t expect it; you don’t expect him to be like this with you. And then he adds, “And me, obviously. Primarily,” And he’s the Nathan that you’ve gotten to know in limited situations all over again. Your surprise melts to fond amusement. You pass him the unit back, trying to ignore the slight tingling in your belly as your fingers brush. You fold your arms, watching as he tenderly sets the unit back down.

“So what does this go…In?” You ask after a moment, gaze flickering back to his.

“That is in process.”

“Am I gonna get kept in the loop, or is it all going to be one big surprise?”

Nathan considers you for a moment before he simply straightens, nodding toward the door.

“Let’s go find the guys,” He urges. “I was promised shots. Besides, you can’t keep throwing the guys under the bus if they’re not here.”

“That’s not true,” You scoff. “Don’t limit me.”

Nathan’s revelation is on your mind for the rest of the evening. You can’t knock it away, no matter how much you try—no matter how much enjoyment you get from knocking back drinks from the guys, and seeing Nathan try to teach William to dance. You find yourself leaning back against the couch, fingers tapping on your beer bottle as you remember the weight and feeling of the wetware in your hands. Your gaze flits to Nathan just in time to find him watching you. You expect him to look away, but instead, he smiles. You swipe your tongue over your lip before looking down at your drink again.

It’s just a moment before the music is turned down. You vaguely note the sound of William and Dan leaving the room, and the thud of Nathan plopping down on the coffee table in front of you.

“Where are they going?” You ask.

“More drinks.”

“They run dry already?”

“Mhm. What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing’s going on.”

“You have been dead silent for two hours.”

“That’s not true.”

“You’ve been too quiet.”

“I have…So many fucking questions,” You shake your head. Nathan is quiet for a moment before he reaches out, patting your knee.

“Tell you what,” He says, “I will throw time on the calendar tomorrow. You can ask whatever the fuck you want—Within reason.”

You raise your brows, looking up at him.

“Which topics are off-limits?” You ask.

“I’ll send them in the meeting notes.”

You smile, shaking your head and looking back down at your drink.

“You’re so fucking…You’re freaky, dude,” You mutter, scrubbing your hand over your face.

“Why’s that?”

“Your brain is terrifying. And I mean that in the best way, but sometimes you come out with something or you do stuff where I’m just like…How the fuck? Like, does he sleep?”

“I’ve been known to, yeah.”

“Every day?”

“That would be excessive.”

“Okay,” You scoff, setting your beer down. He doesn’t seem to even think or hesitate as he reaches out, taking your bottle up and taking a sip.

“Tell you what,” He adds. “Fuck the meeting tomorrow. Why don’t you stay on a few more days, we’ll go over the roadmap.”

“Within reason?”

“Within reason.”

You consider for a moment, pursing your lips.

“I’m gonna run out of clothes,” You point out.

“I’m sure I’ve got something you borrow. Barring that, and I realize this may shock you, but I do have a washing machine.”

“Oh, really? Thought you’d take your stuff to the river and pound it with a rock to get all of the stains out. You won’t run out of food, what with your whole one-man-in-the-middle-of-nowhere thing you got going? Am I gonna have to go out and hunt…Whatever the fuck wildlife is around here?”

“I won’t make you hunt-hunt, but if it’s more fulfilling for you, I can make it a scavenger hunt. You liked the hike, right?”

“I fucking hated the hike.”

“What!”

“Worst, like, hour and a half of my life.”

“Why the hell did it take you an hour and a half?”

“William spotted me and asked me to help him carry his shit.”

“You should’ve said no.“

“Well. I know that now.”

“Three more days. I’ll take you through all of it.”

“...Okay,” You agree after a moment. “Three more days.”

“Good.” Nathan takes another sip from your bottle before he passes the bottle back to you. “I’d uh…I’d cheers, but I’m empty, so we’re just gonna share.”

“Oh, we are? Thank you,” You reach out, taking the beer back from him. You raise your hand, saying, “Clink,” before you take a sip of your beer. Nathan chuckles, repeating, “Clink,” In a murmur.

#You Definitely Are

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hismercytomyjustice · 6 months ago

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Unrelated to everything else, but I had an extra therapy session today because the OCD has been OCDing.

And my therapist said she was proud of me for advocating for myself and asking for a little extra help. ( ༎ຶ⌑༎ຶ )

I am SO BAD at asking for help. Probably OCD related, among other things. I spent the past few days agonizing over whether or not I’d be bothering her by requesting another session when we’ve already agreed to meet weekly instead of biweekly for a little bit.

My husband reminded me this is literally her job and I am paying for her to help me. But idk.

…I don’t want to bother my therapist who specializes in OCD by asking her for extra help with my OCD..?

(ﾟヘﾟ)

Does it make sense? Absolutely not! Do I still get incredibly antsy any time our session runs a little over? Absolutely! Does she remind me every time that I’m not responsible for managing her time and she’ll let me know if she has a hard stop? 1000%! Do I constantly worry I’m becoming an obnoxious problem patient who she dreads seeing and thinks is way too fucking needy?! 10,000%!

Did a fucked up therapist tell me when I had just turned 18 that I feared I was a burden to others and that I was too anxious to ever live by myself and then ghost me for one of our sessions?!

WHY WOULD YOU ASK THAT.

God I hope that lady lost her fucking license. Because what the actual fuck?

Her and another shitty therapist (who insisted she would cure me with hypnotism provided via cassette tapes I could listen to when having panic attacks — Fucking when? At school? Don’t mind me, teacher! I’m having a panic attack and need to step out into the hallway with this tape player because my therapist said this is the only thing that will help me! — and who told me the dim light in her office couldn’t possibly be making me more anxious because scientifically dim lighting is relaxing/soothing, oh and I had a massive panic attack after that single session with her and never saw her again by choice •ᴗ• fucking hope she lost her license too) are the main reason I avoided therapy for fucking years after. I’m doing way better now and have THANKFULLY found way better therapists, but FUCK.

Yay! Mental illness! But we’re gonna finally be focusing more on ICBT. That’s the main reason I’m seeing her (well initially it was for ERP, but we agreed ICBT might be a better fit), but we keep getting sidetracked by my other life shit (lol apparently the main reason the autism accessor thought I might be autistic was because of some major bullshit that happened at work a few months ago that I was reacting very autistically to?), and tbh I’m also more than happy to avoid the scarier shit I don’t want to talk about! Yay!

Not yay. (˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ ) But we’ll get there! I just have to trust the process, trust my therapist, and trust myself.

The last one is unfortunately the hardest one…

Lol it is still somewhat funny to me that anyone I’ve talked to about possible autism is like “oh, I 1000% see it with that work thing you had, but I didn’t notice it until then.” It’s called ~masking~! Well, probably anyway. I mean what are the odds I just happen to show the more classic signs of autism in only one area of my life? I’d wager not super high. But alack, I was deemed “not autistic enough” at the time because it was only obvious in my work life.

So fucking bizarre. Three therapists looked at my work shit and were like “HMM” but it was not enough for the only one who got to make the final decision. Who, my actual therapist pointed out, never even met me. Which, yeah, fair fucking point on that front too. You should probably have to meet with someone if you get the final say in that kind of thing? My assessor only had her provisional license (I think that’s what it’s called?) so her supervisor had to sign off on any diagnosis she could make and the supervisor (who also changed in the middle of my assessment) said no autism for you. SO.

┐(ﾟ～ﾟ)┌

WHO FUCKING KNOWS. But I digress!

#hismercy’s musings #~ooh I’m mentally ill~#actually ocd

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vidalatthewall · 2 years ago

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Ok, I think I oh yeah it’s going. Alright. So. Um. Where to start. It’s always hard to start I guess. I mean when I get going it’s easy to just continue off of what thoughts come to my head. But just starting out of nowhere is pretty difficult I guess.

I started talking about myself last time, but I guess I can tell you some more about me.

What all did I say last time? Talked about Outskirts I think. Kind of mentioned the City as well. Oh that’s something I could talk about, but I don’t want to get sidetracked immediately.

Let’s see…

That’s right, I sort of mentioned something about not being able to write last time. If you aren’t from the Outskirts you probably don’t know this, but the ability to write is not a luxury most people from the there are afforded. There’s no reason to teach us. We’re basically just born to die on the Wall. Or bait for anything that makes it past it. Plus there’s so much sickness that goes around there that it’s a small chance you’re going to live past childhood. I’ve heard stories that back in the Pre-Ruin times that there were schools that children would go to so they could learn how to read and write. They say they have one of those in the City, but even if that is true I doubt it’s like the ones in the stories. It’s probably just the ruins of one. That’s basically what the City is anyway from what I can tell. Just an imitation of life before the Day of Ruin.

I’d still trade everything that I had in the Outskirts for a day in the City.

We are taught how to read and speak at least. We have tons of scraps of books. Nothing complete though. No pictures of anything either. Just lines of words. Just enough that we can learn how to read well enough to understand the instructions that are left for us on the Wall and the letters the City guards send us for orders. But nothing for us to write on or with. Plus there isn’t anything new for us to learn how to read with so we can’t ruin future generations' learning ability by wanting to be selfish and try to write on the few pages we have to learn from. And I really wouldn’t have much to say anyway. “Life here stinks. I sure wish I could live in the City. I hope I don’t have to fight on the Wall one day, but I’m sure I will.”

That being said, talking to this… thing… or person? I still don’t know what this really is… But it has been nice. I feel like I can just talk and be heard? There’s no point in telling these things to people on the Outskirts. They all feel the same way. We almost all have had the same life. Born in the Outskirts. Raised in the Outskirts. Will either die on the Wall or in the Outskirts.

However, there is always the few people that have an interesting story to tell. See no one ever goes to live in the City from the Outskirts. But the opposite does happen. I guess if people mess up bad enough they get kicked out and move to the Outskirts. I do feel bad for them because it is a death sentence. But it seems like I’m one of the few that feel that way as they usually get treated like they’re the most disgusting person alive. When really it’s the opposite. They’re pretty clean when they arrive at our place of filth. But even if you do try to talk to them, they hardly say anything. They’ve probably thought of us so little for so long that living here with us makes them lose it. Almost none of them live very long once they get here. For one reason or another. The few that do are usually kids. We might look at people from the City as being horrible for leaving us to die out here the way they do. But a kid is still a kid. My mom was actually a kid from the City. My grandparents took her in after her dad died. He passed shortly after he came to the Outskirts. She never talked about the City. We all knew better than to ask her about it. Any time someone would mention it her eyes would just go black. She stopped talking and went somewhere else to be alone for a bit. She would come back later and act like nothing ever happened.

She died in a Nachtmorder attack a little while ago. They killed two of my brothers as well. It was just my sisters and I left of my family before I was sentenced to the Wall. I left my unborn child back in the Outskirts as well.

My partner and I had set up a place to live after so much time planning. One of my sisters has been in such bad health for a long time. We’ve constantly been told to just let her die and be on with it. It feels like it should be easy to just let someone die after you have already grown up with so much death around you. But when it’s someone you’ve known your entire life and theirs is in your hands it’s… It’s just different. She was just starting to get better. Which is why I was ready to go live with my partner…

But that’s when everything went wrong. When my entire life fell apart…

I don’t really want to go too much into it now though.

Maybe some other time.

I should probably get back, but I did want to mention one new thing. I feel like this time and last time I’ve only told you about things in the past.

That’s mainly because there thankfully hasn’t been anything new here on the Wall the past little bit.

Except one thing. I told you nearly no one goes from the City to the Outskirts unless they’ve done something bad. But even in those cases, those people never go to the Wall. Usually they don’t live long enough to go there, but that’s besides the point.

There’s a new person coming to our section of the Wall soon.

And they’re coming straight from the City. I don’t know if it’s by force, which would be scary to think of what they did to go straight to the Wall. Or if they’re coming by choice. In which case I don’t know what they’ve been told to make them think that’s a good idea, because it’s a death sentence. I don’t know which idea is scarier honestly.

Only thing I know about them is their name is Rahab.

Hopefully next time I talk to you I know more about them. Who knows, maybe they’ll already be here next time.

Until then.

Ok so it’s the button right, Walter? Ok so just pre

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#theWall #fiction friday

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quibbs126 · 2 years ago

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So back to my age swap au, here’s Descole, or rather Desmond Locklair, as I call him

(to be perfectly honest I just called him that because I wanted to and I thought it sounded cool. I mean calling himself that here has the same effect as calling himself Jean Descole, considering there’s no Desmond Sycamore, or if there is he hasn’t done anything worth noting, he’s a literal nobody)

More info about him under the cut!

He probably stole those clothes from a local high school theater. Also I made the mask big because I think that’s how those masks are actually supposed to function. I didn’t give him a hat because I just wanted to see him without one and also he’s not as good at concealing his identity

So Des is about 14-16 in this au, and he and Hershel still have their backstory from the main universe. Here though, I’m gonna say that Desmond was never actually picked up by anyone, and he’s been living alone for the past several years. (Or maybe Raymond found him and he’s living with him, I haven’t fully decided yet, though I am leaning towards the homeless option)

Locklair is trying to take down Targent, same as Descole, but he’s nowhere near as dramatic with his plans, nor do his plans really involve the Azran ruins, considering he doesn’t really know about them or their significance yet, he’s a teenager. He’s just trying to track down this organization and take them down, as well as find his parents. So no giant mechas, though he may be working on a prototype for one

Speaking of which, I do plan to have them show up at some point, though their story’s probably a bit later on in the timeline. Rachel is still alive and Leon isn’t exactly a loyal member of Targent yet, he’s still very much working against his will here

Anyways, back to Locklair, we see him a few times before all that, but he’s probably not as involved in the conspiracies as he is normally, other than possibly one or two times, I haven’t decided yet. He very much dislikes Triton but always seems to act a bit nicer (well as nice as he can be) whenever Hershel’s around. The reason for this is later revealed to be because he doesn’t want Hershel being put in these dangerous situations. On Triton’s end, he’s wondering why this kid is on his own and where his parents are, and if they know what he’s up to. Hershel feels like he’s familiar but he just can’t place where

Speaking of which, given that it’s only been around 4-6 years, Hershel still remembers some of his old life, but not much. Mainly, he remembers he has an older brother, but he cannot for the life of him remember what his name was, and he’s mostly forgotten what he looks like, only that he looks sort of like him but with different eyes. He feels guilty about it

Anyways after the whole Targent and Bronev family thing, Desmond might end up getting taken in by Triton and Flora, and I was thinking that perhaps due to their shared interest in machines, Desmond could become Flora’s apprentice, because I just think that would be neat

Anyways I think that’s all I got for now, enjoy

#unfortunately most of what I’ve come up with has to do with Des so I don’t have much more for you after this #I’ll have to keep working on it #let’s just hope I don’t get sidetracked after a few days #(I probably will sorry)#I had this funny image in my head of Locklair and Descole meeting up #and then Descole being like “don’t talk to me or my son ever again”#they’re both aware of the fact that they’re the same person #they’re just doing it solely for the trolling #also Descole may not want to tell Locklair about the things that have happened to him #because things haven’t gone nearly as downhill for Locklair yet #poor boy’s gonna get severe trauma #and Locklair’s life is gonna go better than Descole’s in the long run #anyways #professor layton #jean descole #pl au #layton swap au #my art #also sorry for the dinky sword I don’t really know how to draw someone doing that thing with a sword #to me the sword came out a lot smaller than I intended

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waitimcomingtoo · 3 years ago

Text

Out of the Woods

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Synopsis: you still have Tom as your emergency contact after your breakup and he shows up for you in the hospital

Masterlist

“We called your emergency contact. Your boyfriend should be here any minute.” The doctor told you as she wrote your stats down in your chart.

“Okay. Thank you.” You smiled in appreciation at her. Just a few seconds after she left your room, Tom ran in. He almost slipped from how fast he ran into the room but caught himself on the doorway.

“Tom? What are you doing here?” You asked as you sat up in surprise at the sight of him. You hadn’t seen him since your relationship ended in flames the year prior and hadn’t expected to see him ever again. Not counting every time you turned on your TV and saw him in a new trailer, of course.

“The hospital called me. They said you’d been in an accident?” His face twisted in concern as he pulled a chair up to sit beside you.

“You must still be my emergency contact.” You realized. “I forgot to change it.”

“Oh. Right.” His face fell slightly in disappointment. “Well I’m still glad I came. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. You should see the other guy.” You cracked an embarrassed smile and pointed to your head bandage.

“Oh no.” His eyes widened. “You didn’t get into another fight at Target, did you?”

“Not this time. It was just a car accident.”

“Just a car accident? That sounds pretty serious. What happened?” Tom asked as he took your hand into his.

“This kid ran in front of my car and I hit the brakes too soon. I smacked my head against the window and cracked it.”

“Cracked your head or the window?”

“Both.” You smiled sheepishly.

“Ouch.” He chuckled. “What’s the damage?”

“20 stitches and a killer headache. I’ll be okay though.” You shrugged and gave him an assuring smile. Tom sat up in his chair and gently touched the side of your head to inspect your injury. You gulped a little under his touch and hoped he wouldn’t notice.

“Yeah. You were never one to be sidetracked by pain.” He returned the smile. “How many times did I ask you if you were okay before you finally admit your appendix burst?”

“Hey, in my defense, we’d been hiking all day and I was not about to miss that sunset. The pain wasn’t even that bad.” You chuckled as you patted your appendectomy scar.

“Not that bad? Your organ exploded.” He pointed out with a laugh.

“But remember how beautiful the sky looked? And we had those delicious doughnuts.” You sighed and squeezed his hand.

“I remember. You still had powdered sugar on your face when they took you away in the ambulance.” Tom smiled softly as he remembered the day.

“Yeah. You sat at my bedside for hours. So long that they then had to check you in for chronic neck pain.”

“Yeah. They really don’t make these chairs comfortable.” Tom said as he moved uncomfortably in his chair. You laughed at what he was doing before letting out a pained sigh.

“Thanks for coming. You didn’t have to do that. I know most people wouldn’t have driven down to the hospital to see if their ex girlfriend was okay.” You smiled in embarrassment and rubbed your aching head.

“Most people don’t have the pleasure of calling you their ex girlfriend. Of course I’m here, darling. I came as soon as they called.” Tom smiled sweetly as you and rubbed his thumb on the back of your hand.

“Well I appreciate it. I’m glad you’re here. I hope I didn’t pull you away from anything important.” You sighed and gave his hand another squeeze.

“Don’t worry about it. Nothing is more important than you. I am going to ask you to pay my parking fee, though. Since you went and got yourself in a car accident, it’s the least you can do.” Tom teased you.

“Fine. I’ll loan you the $12.” You humored him.

“Good.” He smiled. “I couldn’t have afforded it otherwise.”

“Please. I see your face on a new billboard every month. Nice Rolex by the way.” You said and nodded towards his wrist.

“You bought this for me.” He reminded you as he held up his arm.

“I know. I just wanted to point out how pathetic you were for wearing a gift from your ex girlfriend. I didn’t realize you were obsessed with me.” You pretended to cringe and looked to the side.

“You caught me.” He laughed. “But how could I not be obsessed with you? You managed to make a hospital gown look hot.”

“It’s open in the back.” You winked seductively at him.

“Say less.” He whispered as he leaned in. You both laughed as you pushed him away.

“You look good, by the way. I like your hair grown out.” You said as you reached out to touch his hair.

“Yeah. I went a little crazy with the hair gel in 2020. My family had to hold an intervention.” He laughed shyly as he ran his hand through his hair.

“How are they? I miss Sam and Paddy. Harry, not so much.”

“They’re good. They ask about you sometimes.” Tom nodded and avoided eye contact.

“Aw.” You smiled sadly. “I always wonder how they’re doing.”

“Do you ever wonder how I’m doing?” Tom asked as he slowly looked up at you.

“I know how you’re doing.” You shrugged. “You’re an extremely successful actor. You’re living your best life.”

“I’m not, actually. I haven’t been living my best life since we-“

Before Tom could finish his sentence, a man came into the room in a hurry. You quickly pulled your hand out of Tom’s and pretended to scratch the side of your head.

“Are you okay, baby? I came as soon as my game ended.” The man said.

“Baby?” Tom looked at you in confusion.

“Tom, this is Cameron. My boyfriend.” You smiled weakly and gestured to the man. Tom’s face immediately crumbled as he looked up at the incredibly handsome and incredibly tall man you were calling your boyfriend.

“Oh. Sorry, I didn’t realize. Hey, man.” Tom got out of his seat and held out his hand.

“Hey. Who are you?” Cameron asked and shook Tom’s hand.

“I’m Tom.”

“Isn’t that…”

“My ex. Yeah.” You nodded when Cameron trailed off.

“Sorry, why are you here? Do you guys still keep in contact or something?” Cameron laughed awkwardly as he tucked his hands into his pockets.

“No. He was still the emergency contact in my phone. It was just a misunderstanding.” You explained.

“Oh, okay. You should probably head out then.” Cameron said to Tom. Tom nodded as his sad eyes fell to the floor.

“Don’t go!” You said without thinking about it. Tom looked at you with hope in his eyes while Cameron looked at you in confusion.

“I mean, he came all this way. Why not stay a little while?” You quickly followed up.

“Okay. I’ll stay.” Tom smiled and sat back in his chair. Cameron gave you an annoyed look and you felt yourself start to panic.

“Cam, could you get me some ice cream from the cafeteria?” You asked through a forced smile.

“Sure. What flavor?”

“Mint chip.” You and Tom said at the same time. Tom turned around in his chair and gave Cameron a smug smile

“But with extra chocolate chips on top.” Tom said with a wink.

“What he said.” You chuckled. Cameron gave you both an unamused smile before leaving the room.

“I’m sorry about that.” You smiled apologetically. “I should’ve told you I was seeing someone.”

“No, no. It’s okay. I got ahead of myself. I thought getting the call and seeing you again was the universe pushing us back together or something. But I guess not because you have a boyfriend.” Tom forced a laugh and tried to hide how upset he was.

“Yeah, I do.” You faked a laugh as well. “Are you seeing anyone?”

“No. I haven’t seen anyone since we broke up. You have though! And I’m just so happy for you.” He said through a forced smile.

“Tom, I feel like we should talk about this.” You said as you sensed his indifference.

“His nickname for you was strange, right?” Tom laughed awkwardly. “You hate being called “baby”. You said it made you feel like you were being catcalled.”

“I know. But I’m trying to be more open minded. You always said I was too negative, so.” You shrugged and looked to the side.

“I did say that a lot, didn’t I?” Tom realized. “It’s funny. I don’t remember you as a negative person when I think of you. I only remember the good parts.”

“You don’t remember all the fights we had over the long hours you work?” You raised an eyebrow. “And all the times you said you’d show up for something and didn’t?“

“Now that you mention it, I do recall a lot of screaming.” Tom chuckled.

“It wasn’t always the bad kind of screaming.” You reminded him, making him blush.

“I know. You used to get so excited when you beat me at Scrabble.” Tom teased.

“Not what I meant but okay.”

You both laughed and felt the tension leave the room. It felt like it did before Cameron showed up, just two people who deeply cared for each other remembering why they did.

“I should’ve showed up for you more.” Tom said after a beat. “A job is just a job but you were never just a girl.”

“You showed up today. That counts.” You said as you reached for Tom’s hand.

“Maybe. But I’m too late. I remember the day you walked out. You said you were setting me free. But I never wanted to be free from you. I wish I realized that before it was too late.” Tom gave you a sad smile before bringing your hand to his lips to kiss the back of it. You opened your mouth to say something, but Cameron came back before you got a chance.

“Hey baby. I brought you the brownie. Oh, he’s still here.” Cameron said when his eyes landed on Tom.

“She asked for ice cream.” Tom scrunched his nose as he took the browning from Cameron.

“Excuse me?” Cameron scoffed and stepped up to Tom.

“Oh my God.” You groaned. “Don’t even start. Nobody wants to see you two fighting. It wouldn’t even be a fair fight.”

“Why do you say that?“ Cameron asked you.

“No reason.” You said quickly, making Tom snort.

“Cam, could you check me out at the front desk, please?” You asked to get him out of the room again.

“Sure, baby. Are you cool to drive home? The suns setting and you know how I feel about driving with the sun in my eyes.” Cameron asked as he gestured to his eyes.

“I’m sorry, you want her to drive home? From the hospital? That she’s in because she just got into a car accident?” Tom asked as he got out of his chair.

“Is there a problem with that?” Cameron asked and stepped closer to Tom.

“Yeah. Do you need me to spell it out again or do you think you could figure it out by yourself this time?” Tom asked as he cocked his head.

“What’s this guys problem?” Cameron asked you.

“Cam, just go sign me out.” You sighed. “Please? I’ll be out in a minute.”

Cameron gave Tom one last look before leaving the room. The tension returned and you looked anywhere but Tom.

“He’s a real charmer. Where did you find him? Home Depot?” Tom asked sarcastically. You went silent and played with the heart monitor on your finger.

“What?” Tom wondered.

“I did, actually.” You admitted. “I found him at Home Depot.”

“No way.” Tom held back a laugh.

“He moves wood or something. I don’t know.” You laughed and covered your face with your hands. This time, Tom was the one to go quiet.

“What?” You wondered.

“Is he bigger than me?”

“Tom.” You groaned.

“Sorry.” He mumbled. You chuckled at the fact that he hadn’t changed and decided to throw him a bone.

“No.” You told him. “He’s not. He’s not funnier than you either. Or kinder, better looking, or really surpassing you in any way.”

“He’s taller, though.” Tom said with a coy smile.

“That’s true.” You chuckled. “He’s 6’1.”

“Wow.” Tom playfully rolled his eyes. “Sounds like a real keeper.”

“You know wanna know something? I was driving to Cameron’s house when I got in the accident. I had some pretty tough news to tell him.”

“Oh yeah?” Tom raised an eyebrow and sat back down on your bed.

“Yeah.” You smiled coyly. “I was on my way to tell him that I’m still in love with my ex.”

“Oh really?” Tom tried to remain calm as his face heated up in a blush.

“Not you, though.” You told him. “The guy before you.”

“Right.” Tom played along. “Pony trail guy? Who made candles in his bathroom and called all women in his life “pumpkin”? That ex?”

“Yeah.” You humored him. “I’ve been thinking about him a lot lately. I could really use some more candles.”

“Tell you what. How about you break up with that boyfriend of yours, as charming as he may be, and you let me take you on a date? I’ll drive, since you’re clearly very bad at it.” He teased you as he took your hands into his. You looked down at your hands and felt the spark reignite in your chest, though you weren’t entirely sure it ever left.

“I don’t know.” You sighed as you looked up at him.

“I’ll buy you all the candles you want.”

“Even the ones with the stupid names?” You raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t see how a candle can smell like a Sparkling Midnight Angel but yeah, if it makes you happy.” He replied, his sarcastic tone making you laugh.

“Then it’s a date.” You smiled and started it lean. Just as Tom was leaning in the rest of the way, Cameron came back into your room.

“Are you ready to go? I’ve been waiting forever.” He sighed in exasperation and pointed to the hallway behind. You looked at him for a minute before looking back to Tom. Tom gave a pointed look, silently asking you what you wanted to do. Lucky for you, you knew exactly what you wanted to do.

“You can go, Cam.” You said without taking your eyes off Tom. “I’m good right where I am.”

Tag List 🏷

@awesomebooklover17 @thebookwormlife @imanativeofswlondondahling @serendipitous-amor

@lavender-writer @whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings @ultrunning @imyourliquor-youremypoison @andreasworlsboring101

@letsloveimagines @peterparkoure @a-villain-vying-for-attention @justcallmehitgirl @jackiehollanderr @mara-twins @maryjanee23 @geeksareunique @emmamarshmellow @unbelievableholland @flixndchill @sovereignparker @thisisthebiplace @every-marveler-ever @undiadeestos @caelestii-e @eridanuswave @itscaminow @fiantomartell @solarxmoonchild @canyouevencauseicant @illwritetomorrow @thehappygrungelife @saysomethingspiderman @smilexcaptainx @quaksonhehe @kelieah @seasidecrowbar @lovelessdagger @electraheart-3174 @unbelievableholland @yourtypicalhotmess @horanxholland @thesuitelifeofafangirl @marshxx @heyheycharlatte @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie @tomshufflepuff

@maybemona @alexxcorona113

#tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland fluff #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fanfic #tom holland angst

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usmsgutterson · 2 years ago

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Louder than Words- Kaz Brekker

Okay, hi! This one was requested by @ell0ra-br3kk3r about a week and a half or so ago? My notifications say it’s been about two weeks since we discussed it, and El, I promise I didn’t forget about the discussion! I just got sidetracked with editing a few fics I’m getting ready to post on ao3 and that took up a lot of my free time.

On another note, though, this one is inspired by Louder Than Words sung by the cast of Tick, Tick, Boom! I was going to do a songfic but then I couldn’t make it work in my head, so the result instead is a fic very heavily inspired by the hopeful and cheery-ish vibes I got from the melody with a few allusions to the lyrics! El, if you want me to rewrite it and try to write a song fic, please let me know and I’ll do my best!

Fic type- this one is fluff with an angsty element or two?

Warnings-mentions of cages in relation to birds being trapped in them

Kaz often felt like his life was an amalgamation, of sorts. An amalgamation of every result to every decision he’d ever made. The reckless, the less than reckless, the smart and the ones that made people terrified.

He hadn’t regretted a moment of any of it, though. The Ice Court, fighting against Jan Van Eck, watching as he was arrested, doomed to spend the rest of his days in Hellgate.

Fighting against Per Haskell, forsaking him and watching as everyone else in the Dregs did the same, forcing Haskell out of the gang he once took so much pride in, crediting himself as the one who’d done the work, when all of it had fallen on Kaz’s back.

In the days, the weeks, and the months after everything surrounding the Ice Court had been said and done, Kaz often found himself feeling like a bird freed from a cage, allowed to take flight once more. There was no more running things by Haskell, losing out on money to make sure that the old man got what he thought to be the keep he’d earned.

Kaz was almost grinning as he walked into the Crow Club and caught sight of you as you finished your shift behind the bar.

“Chipper today?” You asked. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen get close to smiling as you are right now.”

Kaz shrugged. “It’s just a bit of a good mood, is all,” he said. “Things always get that way this time of year. I tend to get a bit more optimistic with the cold.”

“Ah, is it the weather at last matching the image of your heart that makes it melt? How inopportune I imagine it must be to have a heart that melts with the drop in the temperature.”

But Kaz’s words had been only half true. He’d been feeling lighter, truly. Some part of him worried less as the business grew, as the Dregs continued to expand and grow, reaching into even the corners of the city farthest from the Barrel. He was leaving a mark, leaving a legacy behind.

It’d made him worry less, though he was still as analytical as he’d once been, still as much of an overthinker and, perhaps driven by greed more so than he’d been before the heist, but it just seemed that that day was destined to be decent, a day wherein he could just drink coffee, review plans.

It was a day full of inaction, a day wherein you picked up a shift at the bar and helped Kaz make sure nobody was doing anything stupid, one of the few days without much to do, and it was one you both cherished.

“You’re lucky I tolerate your company.”

You laughed, and Kaz ignored the way that it made him feel--terrified, helplessly in love, like the luckiest man on the earth--and ordered a whiskey.

“I love you too, Brekker,” you said. “Joining me for the last ten minutes?”

“We’re to meet with Jesper and Wylan after your shift is done. I was coming around to notify you, but the whiskey and your company are just added bonuses.”

You scoffed, shaking your head as you poured a shot of kvas, sliding it across the bar counter to the customer who waited.

Kaz took a sip of his whiskey, confirming it internally. He regretted nothing from the day he’d agreed to the Ice Court job and forth from there. Least of all you.

He was a bird freed from a cage, allowed to fly once more, blazing a new trail rather than walking the path he’d walked whilst under Haskells employment.

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker #six of crows

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jungkxook · 4 years ago

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—make it right. (m)

⟶ pairing: jungkook x reader

⟶ genre: punk!jungkook / band au / exes-to-lovers au / angst / smut

⟶ words: 11,528

⟶ rating: 18+

⟶ summary: you’re wholeheartedly, madly in love with jungkook and yet you shouldn’t be because it’s been almost a year since you broke up with him. worst part of it all is that you know he’s still in love with you too

⟶ warnings: jungkook has a tongue piercing, oral sex because of said tongue piercing (fem!recieving), more tattooed and long haired jungkook to feed my fantasies, angsty pining clingy sex, also just general soft sex, crying sex lol, riding, creampie, slight praise kink themes, unprotected sex

⟶ disclaimer: here’s my one year blog anniversary present inspired by the first ever fic i posted on here! yes this is technically a sequel to melomaniac but not really. sort of like an alternate universe to the alternate universe but you don’t really have to read one or the other to understand the other. so, i hope you enjoy!

⟶ this is part of the melodrama tour series!

You swear you’re over Jungkook.

In fact, you would even go so far as to say you hate him ━ but you know that’s not true. It’s just that it’s much easier to believe that if you tell yourself you hate him enough times, then maybe you’ll find a way to fix your broken heart, and the pain in his absence won’t hurt so bad.

As it turns out, it hardly works.

Seven months since he had left you to travel the world with his band, basking in promised eternal glory and fame and money, and yet even miles and oceans away from where you stand, he’s all you can think about. There’s a myriad of reasons as to why trying to forget him was an useless endeavour. The hardships of trying to forget a cherished life-long friendship you had grown accustomed to was one of them, and those lingering happy moments you had shared with him as lovers however fleeting they may be was another. But then there was the ever present fact that Jungkook and his band were so quick to rise to fame, their names far exceeding the seemingly cramped and small city you had both reigned from, and suddenly the boy you had known forever, and everything special that makes him, was now being shared to hundreds of millions of adoring fans.

You were certain it was all Jungkook ever wanted, the added attention and the pretty girls fawning over him, because he had always been a casanova in many ways despite always promising you that you were the only one for him even before you had started dating. You had told him it wouldn’t work ━ I trust you as my best friend, you had said in a moment of despair, grasping at straws. I don’t have to worry about you breaking my heart. But I don’t know if I can trust you as my boyfriend ━ far before he and his band had been signed to their record label and paraded around the world, when they were still practicing in rented storage units and friends’ garages and rundown local studios, playing gigs anywhere and everywhere from dingy bars to college campus parties, supporting him every step of the way if only because he was your best friend, and he had been so persistent that it would work, chasing after you even when you tried to push him away. I would treat you right, he had urged so ardently late one drunken night after stumbling back to his apartment. I already practically worship the ground you walk on.

And how could you ━ who had already been so madly in love with him but scared of him breaking your heart, scared of losing him, scared of this happening ━ ever resist him? He made love seem so easy, and maybe that’s because it was when you were with him. But now, he was no longer yours; now, he was the world’s, and you were nothing but a mere hazy fragmented memory in his mind, long forgotten, watching from the side of the stage much like you always had from the very start of it all.

“Hey, isn’t this that band?” Jihyo’s voice bursts through your wandering trail of thoughts.

It takes you a moment to recollect yourself, finding yourself not in the arms of an ex-lover or stuck in a bygone time of months past, but in the cosy and amiable café nearest your campus and frequented by a plethora of your fellow peers. You’re fortunate to find that your other group mates have also become sidetracked, trailing far from the assignment you were all supposed to be working on. Dahyun is perched beside you, chin nestled in the palm of her hand and elbow propped on the table as she scrolls aimlessly through her phone; Jihyo and Taeyong were sat across from you, gossiping fervently about some mutual friend of theirs. You hadn’t known the pair long enough to know much about them or the tragic affair of whoever Mina is for accepting her cheating boyfriend back for the second time, and, likewise, they seem oblivious to your own self-wallowing once you realize what’s caught Jihyo’s sudden attention.

You hear his voice first.

It’s easy to discern, even after all this time and even amongst the muffled chatter and clanking of porcelain and cutlery of those seated around you. The sweet, velvety lull of Jungkook singing throughout the café from the overhead speakers, pretty upbeat melodies and synths mixed with wistful words making up the song he had written for you before he left, before the fame and fans, as a way of telling you how he truly felt about you. It feels like a dream, and maybe that’s because it is, bringing you instantly to another time, and another world. You still remember him showing you the unfinished song for the very first time, curled up next to him in his living room, listening to him serenade you to sleep, humming in places where he hadn’t formed the words yet, strumming along with his acoustic. It was yours and his until he showed the world almost a year ago on their very first show at the Seoul Olympic Stadium in front of thousands of people, as a final desperate act of proclaiming his love for you after a disastrous attempt at a first date that he had begged from you. Just one, he pleaded. To prove it to you that I can be a good boyfriend. And if things don’t work out, we can pretend it never happened and just go back to being us. That’s a promise.

At the time, you had treasured the song. It was beautiful in every way, his love transcending his words and enveloping your heart in pure warmth.

Now, you hate it.

It’s the third time you’ve heard the song that day. Despite avoiding it as best as you could, it seems to find a way to make itself known in your daily life like the nagging nuisance it is. Because fate seemed to enjoy its sadistic behaviour of having the song be one of the main reasons Jungkook and his band had skyrocketed to fame in such a short span of time and, suddenly, Jungkook disappearing from your life meant little when his voice remained as a constant reminder of what could have been, what couldn’t have been, and what fell apart at the already fragile seams. And what was a proclamation of love to you turned into nothing but a fabled tale of lovers. You wonder if people who hear it ever think about where they’ve gone, or who they’ve turned into, or if their love was made to last. You wonder, above all else, if people ever think about it at all.

“Beyond the Scene, right?” Taeyong asks. He seems just as animated to be discussing the song as Jungkook’s voice fades into Jimin’s.

“God, I love this song. It’s so dreamy,” Jihyo lets out a longing sigh as she slumps against her seat. “Y’know, I’m seeing them this Friday. It’s their first time being back in, like, five months.”

“Dude, I’ve been trying to get tickets to see them for months now!” Taeyong gaps incredulously. “How’d you score them?”

“A friend of a friend knows the guy who plays keys,” Jihyo says. “The cute mysterious one.”

“Yoongi, right?”

“Yeah━”

As the pair dive into a passionate discussion about the boys and their first full-length album released under their recently-signed-to label from Columbia Records, you shift uncomfortably in your seat. Dahyun almost immediately straightens up, eyes flickering from the pair to you and back again. You’re both fortunate she’s there, having known your past with Jungkook, and despise it a little more, wondering what her pitying gaze must mean.

“Hey, Dahyun. Y/N.” Taeyong’s voice grabs your attention now. “What do you think of these guys? Didn’t some of them used to go to this school?”

“Yeah, I had a few classes with their drummer.” Dahyun waves her hand airly, swiftly brushing over the fact that she did far more than have a “few classes” with any of the boys but was also one of their closest friends. “I think they’re great━” She glances sideways at you one more time. “Hey, maybe we should get back to the assignment now━”

“I had a class with their lead guitarist, Jungkook, last year,” Jihyo continues, her excitement getting the best of her as Dahyun’s voice drowns out in the foreground.

“No way!” This dubious exclamation comes from Taeyong.

“I tried talking to him once but he totally blew me off,” Jihyo says. “Which is fine, because he’s still hot. If I had known he was gonna be a famous rockstar, I’d have tried asking him out a second time━”

Suddenly, you feel sick.

It’s odd to hear two strangers discuss Jungkook’s life while you’re seated across from them, as if you’re nothing more than an outsider to whoever Jungkook has become now. But you can’t stand it anymore. You’re certain you look insane to them when you push your seat back abruptly, the metal legs screeching against the floor as you stand.

“Whoa, what’s wrong━?” Taeyong starts to ask but you’re gone before he can finish the question, murmuring a half-hearted excuse about how you forgot you needed to be somewhere.

You’ve rounded on your heel and have fled from the café before anyone can try to stop you, with nothing but Jungkook’s mellifluous voice fading in the distance as he croons aloud for you in a time long since passed.

You don’t care. Besides, you’re sure Dahyun will cover for you.

The worst part of it all? The dreadful realization that sinks into your mind, and into your heart, beckons the question: who’s to say you aren’t a stranger now to Jungkook’s life altogether?

“So, what are you trying to say?”

You remember the moment so clearly despite wanting nothing more than to forget it all, and the pain associated with it. Because even from then you knew you would always be in love with Jungkook, but you couldn’t have him. It’s hard to remember whose fault it is this time that caused the sudden fight, though random little arguments had been a frequent occurrence nearing the end of your one year relationship more often than not. You hate blaming it all on him, because you were certain you were at fault too. Maybe a little bit wary at times, a little selfish, wanting him all to yourself. Even though you knew he has an obligation to the world, it still hurt when he started making promises he couldn’t keep, blowing you off for soundchecks, or spontaneous interviews, or record label meetings. More and more you could feel the both of you drifting apart, maybe without even meaning for it to happen.

It was just that Jungkook was destined for a lifetime of greatness, and you were starting to think that meant without you.

You had stopped him late one night after he had stumbled home from his and the band’s nightly studio sessions as they worked through recording their debut album as a signed band. Lately, it seemed as if that was all that Jungkook cared about, and while you knew the band meant the world to him and you would always support him in his endeavour, you couldn’t help but feel lesser in comparison. That, and you hated seeing the boy overwork himself to the point of near exhaustion every night if only because their label was so adamant about having the album finished before the month ended.

“You want to, what? Break up?” Jungkook asked, this time more incredulously and less dumbfounded as he had initially been. He didn’t believe you just yet, but you couldn’t exactly tell what he was thinking anymore at that point.

“I just figured we could use some time apart,” You had suggested awkwardly. “Just a break.”

He had let out a breathless, disbelieving laugh. “Y/N, this is insane.”

You flinched. You remember having to look away, refusing to meet his suddenly sorrowful look. “Is it, Jungkook? I mean… Look at us. We’re falling apart. It was bound to happen eventually. We tried to make it work but maybe we’re on different paths now.”

“But I love you,” Jungkook gasped, exasperated. “Where is this coming from?”

“And I don’t want to have to tie you down for the rest of your life,” You continued on stubbornly, “or make you think you owe me your whole life just because you said you fell in love with me when you were thirteen━”

This seemed to catch Jungkook’s attention. He grew rigid in front of you, a look of wary agony contorting his face. “Is that what this is then? You don’t love me anymore?”

You didn’t respond immediately, instead the dread of the night seemed to finally catch up with you and you had grimaced. You had loved him even then, but the thought of voicing it aloud when you were supposed to be breaking up with him didn’t feel right. The tears began to swell in your throat and blur your vision. Jungkook must have noticed, because he always seems to spot the small things about you that even you miss. Almost instantly, the sour look on his face softened and his gaze turned helpless, with those big puppy-dog eyes that you’ve always been too fond of. He closed the distance between you at once, warm hands grabbing at your own.

“You do.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement. He knew you were still in love with him ━ or maybe he’d just been hopeful. “I know you do. So then why are you breaking up with me?”

He let go of one of your hands to reach up to your face, calloused fingers gentle and soft against your cheek as they brushed away a rogue tear you hadn’t realized had fallen from your lashes. For a moment, you had let yourself get carried away. You leaned into the comforting heat and touch of his palm as he cradled your face.

“Don’t━” You choked out after a moment of silence, hating when your voice splintered into a sob. “Don’t touch me. Please, Jungkook. You’re only going to make this harder.”

His hands sprang away from your face almost at once, as if he had just been burnt by scalding fire. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and pull you into his arms but he had refrained the urge somehow, miraculously. So, instead, he grit his teeth and clenched his hands into fists as his arms fell limp at his sides.

“Then don’t do this. Don’t walk away,” Jungkook pleaded desperately. “I don’t understand. If you love me still, why are you making this harder for yourself?”

“Because what if that’s all we have in common anymore?” You asked wretchedly. “We care about each other. We always will. But you’re focused on the band, and this is my last year of school. Maybe we just need time to focus on ourselves.”

Jungkook blinked once. Twice. His stare was suddenly devoid of any emotion as he gawked at you, but you could tell that he was hurting. It was there in the fluttering of nerves in his jaw; there, in the way his lips pulled taut into a thin line; there, in the way even you could see his eyes begin to shimmer with wet tears that he unabashedly displays without trying to wipe away.

“So that’s it?” he asked. “After everything we’ve been through. You’re just gonna end it, like that? Y/N, come on━”

His hands had found purchase on your waist, and you had lingered for a moment too long; then, fumbling, he tried to grab delicately at your face, probing you to look at him. But you couldn’t. The moment you met his wounded gaze, you shook your head furiously. You had slithered out of his grasp, slipping through the seams of his fingers just like that.

“I━” You paused. “This isn’t some spur of the moment decision, Jungkook. How can you not see it? I’ve felt so alone these past few months. It’s like you’re here but not entirely. Your mind is always somewhere else, always thinking about the band and never about us.”

“What am I supposed to do?” he had asked hotly. “The band is my everything.”

“And what am I?” You asked. The question only mildly offended you, a shot right to your heart. Because if the band was his everything, what were you in comparison? “A distraction until you get everything you want? I can’t keep being that.”

“No!” he protested. “You’re not a distraction. You’re━” He stopped himself short, brows furrowing. “You can’t keep pinning this all on me. You just don’t trust me, do you? You never did. Always thinking I’m with some other girl when I’m not with you━”

“That’s not true,” You admonished.

“Isn’t it?” Jungkook retaliated.

“I don’t want to hear it,” You had said at once. Your tone was final, a decisive ending to your argument with him. “My mind’s already been made up, Jungkook. I don’t think we should see each other again until we sort all this out ━ or, until you sort out whatever your priorities are.”

Jungkook’s stare had hardened, a frown deeply etching into his face. He had straightened up then, perplexed and upset with your standoffish demeanour, as if thinking this surely meant nothing to you. But little did he know this would become one of the hardest decisions you would have to make.

“Fine,” he said rigidly. “If that’s how it is, then I’m gone. You’ll never have to see me again.”

You hadn’t known at the time just how terribly you had messed up ━ neither had Jungkook. He had left before you could stop him, or before either of you could change your minds. Because nothing’s worse than a broken heart, blinded by stubborn and defensive rage. Accusatory fingers and blaming him or you wouldn’t heal the wounds that had already formed, and ending things seemed to only make it worse, months of lonely heartache without Jungkook to further prove just that…

The last time you spoke to Jungkook, you told him you never wanted to see him again ━ or, at least, that seems to be how he interpreted it.

Now, you were standing in the midst of his domain, surrounded by everyone in his public sphere of friends and colleagues and acquaintances, and there was certainly no way of escaping him.

You were starting to think you’re losing mind, because you’d truly have to be insane to have worked up the nerve to agree to go with Dahyun to a party being held celebrating the band’s recent tremendous success and headlining their first world tour. Their manager, Jin, had personally reached out to you and Dahyun, calling you as a means of asking you to attend, though you had given him a timid and dismissive response at first. If it hadn’t been for Dahyun purposely and almost quite literally dragging you out under the premise that “even if you don’t want to see Jungkook, you at least owe it to the boys to go,” you don’t think you’d even be here. But while you didn’t know where you stood with Jungkook anymore, that didn’t mean you weren’t still proud of him or the rest of the boys. It just became harder to bask in their success with them when you had gone from knowing every detail of their lives, of Jungkook’s life, to knowing only what you could hear from gossiping fans around you, or plastered in tabloids, or all over any form of social media.

The party is held at some sort of fancy lavish restaurant, the entire back room rented out by the band’s record label and management, and is filled with dozens of people you don’t know. Fortunately, you and Dahyun aren’t left alone for very long, as an elated Jin and Jimin, the appointed lead singer, bustle their way through the crowd to you almost as soon as you arrive, leaving very little time for you to feel so awkward that you consider running away again. Jimin, in all his spritely and extravagant blue haired disposition, wastes no time in engulfing you both in a comforting hug as if months hadn’t passed since you’ve last seen them.

“Glad you guys could make it!” Jin smiles from over Jimin’s shoulder.

“It’s been forever,” Jimin affirms.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Dahyun says. “I’m surprised you guys didn’t forget about us, considering you’re big rockstars now.”

“Rockstar is a bit of an overstatement.” An effortlessly charming smirk unfurls on Jimin’s face, which seems to immediately dazzle Dahyun. “Besides, we could never forget you. Hey, come with me to find the guys. I think we could all use some time to catch up━”

He places his hand on the small of Dahyun’s back as he guides her away, leaving you with Jin. A moment of silence passes, in which time you can feel the boy’s eyes lingering on you.

“He knows you’re coming tonight, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Jin says carefully, treading over his words lightly. It’s too painfully obvious who he’s talking about, though you’re fortunate he doesn’t bother mentioning Jungkook’s name anyway. “There’s no point in hiding. I think you should talk to him.”

“I━” You trail off uselessly, your voice croaking. Fearing an imminent breakdown, you shake your head. Then, holding your chin a little higher, Jin’s startled to hear you pretend as if he hadn’t said anything. “It really is good to see you guys again. If you’ll excuse me, I think I need a drink.”

And you’re gone once more before he can say anything else. On your lonesome, you find refuge at the bar, though you only order water because you’re certain you won’t be able to stomach anything stronger. You don’t know how long you spend there, blankly staring at a spot on the wall as your mind wanders everywhere and yet nowhere at all until━

“Y/N?”

There it is again. The familiar sound of his voice, only this time it’s much more attainable, closer to your world and not elsewhere so high in the clouds like a hopeful dream. You brace yourself before turning to face him.

This close, Jungkook looks breathtakingly and painfully beautiful.

As always, he’s adorned in all black, the first few buttons of the silky blouse he’s wearing left undone so that it teases the exposed flesh of his collarbones and the rose tattoo that inks his chest, the thorny stems crawling up the side of his neck just below his ear, accompanied by a pair of leather pants. He’s the same as ever. The same imperfect tattoos that decorate his fingers and arms that you’ve always loved, the same ring-clad fingers painted a chipped black, the same hoop accentuating his button nose. His hair is still his natural dark ebony color (something he’s seemed to stick with much more as of late despite dyeing it wild colours throughout his past), only it’s a little longer than you last remembered, and the sides of his head are shaved in the form of an undercut. You’re foolishly surprised to find he still looks the same, but almost a year away from someone can both change nothing and yet everything all at once.

“Jungkook…” You want to say something more, but your words fall short.

It’s hard to tell if he’s angry or upset at seeing you there, but you don’t think he’s either, and you have an inkling of a thought that he purposely sought you out amongst the many faces. Instead, he looks hesitant, apprehensive, as if dreading how you’ll respond to see him. As if you’ll yell at him, push him away. You do neither, fortunately.

Just when the dense silence starts to become almost unbearable, Jungkook clears his throat. “I━ Wow… You look great.”

You blink once, a flustered blush warming your face that you hope he doesn’t notice. “Oh. Thank you. You do, too.”

His eyes flicker over your presence as he nods absentmindedly. Then, he’s offering you a pretty smile, soft and sweet in nature. No malice, or ill-intent. “Um━ How have you been?”

You hate this. You hate the awkward pauses, the prolonged periods of silence. A year ago, even despite knowingly pining for one another, your moments alone with Jungkook were never so terrible. He always found a way to say something cheekily flirtatious even when you were just friends, if only because he knew it would make you blush and giggle because, no matter how many times you would roll your eyes or nudge his sides, he also knew you secretly loved it. All the inside jokes, the milestones shared together, the ardent fleeting touches ━ where did it all go? And while you were both noticeably trying to maintain the peace and pleasantry between one another, it didn’t feel the same. It felt forced, fake. Distracted.

“I’ve been good,” You lie. “How about you? Actually, don’t answer that━” You let out a breathless chuckle. “You’ve clearly been doing amazing. I mean, your album, and your world tour. And tomorrow you’ve got a big day with the hometown show. I heard it sold out in the first ten minutes.”

“Something like that,” Jungkook says modestly. “It’s been kind of crazy. Namjoon says it’s good, but I miss━ I just miss a lot of how it used to be. The slow pace. I dunno. The quick burn up is quick to burn out, right?”

“Maybe,” You admit. “But I think you’ve all got it in you. You’ve worked so hard for this moment. Enjoy it while you’re in it. You deserve it, Jungkook.”

His stare softens as it meets yours. “Thanks.”

Another beat of silence passes. He looks as if he’s warring with himself, as if he’s fighting the urge to say something more, gnawing at his lower lip, brows knitting together.

“Yo, Jeon!” A foreign voice from amongst the crowd beckons aloud abruptly for the boy.

Jungkook glances over his shoulder swiftly in search of the source, then waves his hand as if to motion he’ll be there later. Then, he turns back to you. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay. I won’t keep you,” You say. “I know you’re busy.”

“But━” He stops himself, his jaw clamping shut. Changing his mind, he decides to ask hopefully, “Will you be at the show tomorrow?”

“Of course.” The affirmation seems to relieve him, even though it’s a spontaneous decision made by you on the spot. Before this moment, you hadn’t been so sure you could go.

“Promise?”

You can’t help but shake your head, a chuckle slipping past your lips at the innocent boyish question he asks. “Yes, Jungkook.”

His smile widens a little more, however sheepish it may be. “Then can you promise me one more thing?”

“What?” You quirk a brow, intrigued to say the least.

“Will you drop by the hotel we’re staying at tomorrow morning, so I can take you out for a coffee? Just to catch up. It’s been a while,” he says timidly. Then, feeling a little stupid for being so bold, scrambles to explain himself. “And no pressure if you don’t want to. I just thought━”

You can’t possibly say no. Not when it comes to Jungkook, all your past struggles seemingly vanishing without a trace. “I’d like that a lot, Jungkook.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Then he’s positively beaming, his self-indulgent grin making your own heart flutter in your chest. When he leaves your side that night, you find yourself looking forward to the future perhaps a little too optimistically. But how terrible could grabbing coffee with your ex be, if you had survived the first wretched encounter?

So, in the morning when you wake, there’s not a stutter in your step or a wavering flicker of your confidence as you make your way to the Four Seasons hotel Jungkook had told you to from the night before. In fact, a selfish part of you almost thinks that maybe things will start to look up. That maybe you and Jungkook can finally make amends. That maybe you never had a reason to fear Jungkook breaking your heart if he made such an effort to heal it.

The hotel itself is one of the most luxurious ones in Seoul, a considerable contrast from when the boys were slumming it on friends’ couches and in their run-down van touring the country. The room Jungkook tells you to meet him at is one of the hotel’s grand suites, located on the higher levels of the building. But as soon as you reach the landing and have begun making your way towards the designated door, it flings open and a pretty girl comes stumbling out. She’s giggling at something that has just happened inside, her hair a dishevelled mess which she ruffles up in an attempt to fix it. She’s adorned in a pretty little dress, the skirt of which is hiked a little higher up and one strap falling down her shoulder, as she clings her shoes and bag to her chest. She smiles at you on the way past, though she’s too far gone in her own little daze that you wonder if she even notices you at all.

But you certainly notice her, and, all at once, your reverie of him and what could be comes crashing to the ground once more.

Maybe you should have stayed, should have waited for Jungkook to let him explain, but you were too afraid to hear an answer you weren’t looking for. You try desperately not to imagine Jungkook loving someone else. You try not to think about him holding her the same way he held you, his lips finding purchase on some other girl. But by trying to avoid the thought, it beckons the unwarranted memories of how it felt to be loved all over by him once upon a time. You wonder how many girls he’s hooked up with in your time apart, and the overwhelming sense of regret washes over you.

You don’t bother to wait. You know fleeing is the easiest option rather than facing your fear, but you’re far too timid of rejection again. Instead, even before you can approach Jungkook’s hotel room and knock on the door, you turn on your heels and run.

You’re long gone by the time Jungkook comes to the door, prying it open in search of you on a whim. When he doesn’t see you, he glances up and down the hallway but to no avail. Namjoon comes slinking past inside then in his own disoriented haze, having just woken up from moments ago when the girl he had taken back to their room the night before left. Even then, Jungkook had warned the rhythm guitarist against bringing the girl back, pointing out the fact that they had much to do today ahead of their concert. Namjoon had promised it wouldn’t be long, that she would be gone in the morning, and Jungkook was fortunate enough that the suite had two separate bedrooms on the opposite ends of one another so that Jungkook didn’t have to hear whatever it was the pair were doing in the other.

“Did Mina leave?” Namjoon asks through a yawn, digging the heels of his palms into his tired eyes. When Jungkook nods, a sliver of a reminiscent smug grin tugs at Namjoon’s lips. “You missed out, Jungkook.”

The cheeky quip is met with a roll of Jungkook’s eyes. “I’m sure I’ll survive. You know I’m not like that.”

Like that━ As in midnight hook-ups and cheap thrills alike. He tried it once, far ago when you had first broken up with him, on a drunken spur of a moment as a way of healing the anguish in his heart. It hadn’t worked then; he assumed it would never work.

Namjoon seems to understand this immediately. He gives Jungkook a look that the boy doesn’t notice. “Well… is Y/N here yet?”

“No. But I’m sure she’ll be here,” Jungkook grimaces. He hopes. “Something probably came up.”

Namjoon clasps a reassuring hand on Jungkook’s shoulder, humming aloud, “Good luck, dude.”

But you never arrive, even though Jungkook waits for most of the morning, nervous eyes flickering to the door at every commotion outside, running to check only to see room service delivering breakfast or concierge showing guests to their rooms. He has no choice but to give up on the thought of you coming when Jin knocks on their door, prompting the boys to get a start on their day. Interviews and soundcheck await, but how could he possibly go on with his life without knowing what happened to you?

Which is why you stay on his mind for the rest of the day, distracting him in every aspect, mixing up his words when he’s in the midst of his interview, tripping up on stage as the boys set up and begin to rehearse. As the hours wane down to just an hour before the show, the thought of performing in front of thousands of fans starts to make him nervous and he doesn’t know why. He’s done this countless times before, almost nightly during the tour, so what stops him now? Of course he knows the answer, had grown all too accustomed to the feeling the first few months in which the break up had been so recent. It would always be about you.

But just before the show starts, Jungkook is making his way backstage from the greenroom, where the band had been waiting, to the stage. Fiddling with his in-ear piece, he almost doesn’t notice you and Dahyun weaving your way through the roadies and sound tech, being guided by Jin to the pit on the side of the stage where only family and friends are allowed. You don’t see him, and there’s a split moment where he thinks he should just let you go, until he doesn’t.

As he makes his way to you, the tour manager for the band intervenes part way, shouting out to the boy. “Where are you going? We’re on in five, Jungkook!”

“Yeah, I’ll be right back━” He waves the manager off as politely as he can, wasting no time to chase after you. He calls out your name, though it drowns out in the sound of the music being blasted through the speakers of the arena and the screaming fans. “Y/N, wait up!”

He’s relieved when he sees you stop in your tracks, turning to face him as Dahyun and Jin become lost in the chaos of the backstage. He comes to stand just before you, smiling breathlessly at you, unaware of the way your shoulders tense at the sight of him.

“You didn’t show up this morning,” he says as a way of greeting, his voice a curious prob. “What happened?”

You try desperately not to get lost in his big beautiful eyes, laced with such hope. Instead, you fold your arms over your chest, looking away. “Something came up.”

It’s then that Jungkook senses something is wrong. You’re upset with him, though he can’t tell why. Aside from the obvious rift in your relationship that had initially split you two up, you had been so pleasant to see him the night before. But he doesn’t give up just yet. “Well… you’re here now.”

You meet his gaze with your own hardened one. “For the boys.”

A shot right to his heart almost makes Jungkook gasp for air. He flinches, and then his stare softens, and you wish he wouldn’t look at you like that, out of fear that you might just relapse into his arms.

“What’s wrong?” He closes the distance between the two of you. He wants nothing more than to reach out and touch you, but refrains with much difficulty. There’s dozens of things that could be wrong, and he braces himself for your retaliation. “You didn’t want to come, did you?”

When you don’t respond, but also don’t stray from his side, Jungkook hurries to speak again if only to fill the tense silence.

“Look, last night… Maybe it was just me, but last night seemed like things were okay,” he says. “Was I wrong to feel that way?”

“Jungkook…”

“Please, just let me know,” he begs. “Because you’re all I can think about these days, it’s driving me crazy. And I don’t know what’s going on, but the reason I wanted to see you this morning was because I hate how things ended between us, and I wanted to tell you…” He swallows nervously as he trails off uncertainly. “I wanted to tell you that I’m still in love with you. And I can’t get you out of my head. These months away from you made me realize that I━”

Suddenly, you’re shaking your head and he knows you don’t believe him. As soon as the words leave his mouth, he regrets saying it, if only because they seem to enliven you. Now, you push yourself away from the boy. “I’m not doing this right now. You’re not doing this right now.”

As if to further your point, the band’s tour manager can be heard calling out frantically for the boy. “Two minutes, Jungkook!”

But Jungkook is hardly paying attention now, instead solely focused on you. “Please, Y/N━”

“No, you don’t get to say that to me,” You admonish hotly. You can’t bite the words back, no matter how hard you try. “You don’t love me. You think you love me, but you don’t.”

His jaw clenches, and his brows furrow into a frustrated stare. “I do.”

“You don’t.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Stop.” The harsh word makes Jungkook clamp his mouth shut. You shake your head furiously, but you know it’s only to distract yourself so that you don’t let the tears fall. “You’re being selfish, Jungkook. You don’t get to take all of me, love all of me, and leave, only to come back months later and pretend you’re still in love with me. And whatever this━” You gesture vaguely between the two of you, “is, or was, doesn’t exist anymore. We both need to stop pretending otherwise.”

Jungkook winces, eyes tinged with pain. “You don’t mean that.”

You don’t respond. Elsewhere, his tour manager starts to grow impatient, scolding the boy aloud, “Jungkook, we’re gonna be late. Hurry up!”

“Yeah, I’ll be there!” Jungkook calls back, irritated. Maybe he is being selfish. He’s wasting precious time by not leaving, all the hard work that the crew put into tonight’s show, and the fans awaiting his and the band’s arrival. He can still hear the crowd, this time their buzzing voices amalgamating into unanimous chanting muffled by the walls that sounds akin to the band’s name.

“You should go,” You say now. “Don’t wanna disappoint them.”

But he’d throw it all away for you if you told him to. He promised you that even before he had left for tour, before the band had been signed. Had you forgotten? Because he surely hadn’t.

“Y/N…”

“Good luck out there.”

Then, you’re gone before Jungkook can even make a move to stop you ━ but even if he did, what could he do to make you stay? The feat seemed impossible, and you always seem to find a way to slip from his grasp no matter what he does. Only this time he has no choice but to let you go, out of fear of being berated further by his tour manager or angering the boys so much to the point where he gets kicked out of the band.

He makes it on stage in time, the band filing out to take their places one at a time, deafening screams blowing out their in-ear pieces that stand no chance as each member joins the stage. The lights fizzle out until complete darkness cloaks the venue, but Jungkook still looks for you. He finds you in the pit on the side of the stage, Jin and Dahyun standing beside you, and finds it hard to keep his eyes off of you even though you attempt to pretend as if he’s not even there.

After their first adrenaline-filled opening song of the night, Jimin takes to the microphone to greet the crowd who scream back an indiscernible shout as, elsewhere, you notice Jungkook pry himself away from the microphone stand on his side of the stage to wave the rest of the boys over to Hoseok’s drum kit. They murmur amongst themselves briefly, though they go unnoticed by Jimin or the crowd as the lead singer entertains them.

“Seoul! It’s good to be back. We’ve missed you all so much━”

Jimin’s words get cut short when Jungkook, having just parted ways with the rest of his members for their impromptu meeting, beckons the lead singer over, out of range of the microphone. They seem to discuss something just as shortly as Jungkook had talked with the rest of the boys, in which time Jimin nods understandingly, then steps away from the microphone. Then, Jungkook takes to the microphone, the rings on his fingers glistening under the spotlight as he grips the stand.

“I know the night’s only getting started,” Jungkook’s voice wavers as he speaks, “but we’re gonna slow things down for a moment. We hope you don’t mind.”

Intrigued murmurs echo around the crowd, suddenly buzzing with excitement as they watch Jungkook with eager eyes. A few encouraging bellows has Jungkook smiling smally. Jin, on the other hand, looks perplexed.

“What is he doing?” Jin asks no one in particular, a quizzical look on his face. “This isn’t part of their set.”

“I think a lot of you might know this next song,” Jungkook continues, “but I don’t think I’ve ever expressed how much it means to me. This next one, I wrote for a special someone, and it sort of helped us achieve all of this. So, I think it’s time that person knows how much they mean to me.”

Jungkook glances nervously over at the boys standing behind him, each in their own respective spots. Then, sweeping his gaze across the crowd, he finally finds you already staring up at him. His own eyes soften into a look of longing, however hardened by past tribulations and sorrow it may be. As if he’s determined not to lose you again; determined to make it up to you.

“This next one is for Y/N,” he says timidly. He has to turn away from you in the next second, afraid he might just break down before the fans and the boys and you. “I’m sorry I messed up.”

As the boys take their place, with Jimin taking an acoustic and fading back from the limelight, you wonder why. But then you hear it, the familiar beginning chords making up the song you had so wholeheartedly claimed you hated. Only this time they’re gentler, made up of acoustic strums of a guitar, Hoseok’s drums, and Yoongi’s keys, all amalgamating into a pretty song almost unrecognizable.

Then, Jungkook starts singing, and what was once a wistful dreamy song of prospective lovers suddenly turns into a melancholic requiem for you. Some lyrics are changed, present tense turning to the past, and Jungkook sings his way throughout the entirety of the song in contrast to the one that plays all over the radio featuring the other member’s voices. The fans sing along, their voices melding with Jungkook’s into some sort of celestial mellifluous choir, and you’re left no longer wondering if the fans would ever know the meaning behind the song that Jungkook had brought to life. Because now, it wasn’t just Jungkook singing to you; it was the whole world. And yet, paradoxically at the same time, it felt all that much more intimate. As if it were just you and him once again, seated on the couch in his small apartment, listening to the beginnings of what would be their number one selling song.

Above all else, you realize that you don’t seem to hate the song as much you claimed to.

That night, you can’t sleep.

You find yourself leaving the venue earlier than everyone else, even when the boys invite you and Dahyun to join them for celebratory drinks, returning to your home in the hopes of forgetting the night altogether. Instead, you stay up tossing and turning, your mind filled with memories consisting of only Jungkook and his haunting voice singing to you, and for you. But at some point during the night nearing one or two in the morning, just when you give up on the idea of sleep, the sound of incessant knocking at your front door rouses you from your trance.

When you finally answer the door, you’re more than surprised to see that Jungkook stands on the other side of the threshold as if coming to you from a dream. But then you register the fact that he’s a complete mess. Dark circles line his weary eyes, now smudged with that faint hint of charcoal liner he had worn for the concert, hair so messily mused beyond repair, and you notice quickly that he’s crying, fresh tears glazing over his pupils and streaking down his face. It’s startling to see him in such shambles, a complete contrast to how effortlessly charming and confident he usually portrays himself. But though you’ve seen him cry before on various occasions, now is all the more unsettling.

“I━I’m sorry.” It’s the first thing he says, screwing his eyes shut tightly as he shakes his head. He fumbles over his words, slurring them together in his rush to get them out. “I know I’m probably the last person you want to see right now, but I needed to see you.”

“Are you drunk?”

“No, no, I swear━” He pries his eyes open to meet your desolate stare, tears unabashedly falling from his lashes. His voice thins with desperation. “You said we need to stop pretending, but I’m not pretending. I never have been. And if you think ━ if you truly believe ━ that there’s nothing here between us anymore… Tell me. Right here, right now. And I’ll leave you alone forever, you’ll never have to see me again. I just━ I’ve missed you every moment and it kills me.”

You’re silent for a long period, pitying gaze sweeping over him, but he doesn’t care if he looks insane. He just needs you to know how he feels.

“Well, how do you think I felt?” You ask the question carefully, but then the memories come flooding back and the semblance of a scowl forms on your face. “You leave and suddenly everywhere I look I see you. Your song is playing everywhere, you and the guys are everywhere, and I’m reminded every day about how we ended. About how you left me.”

Jungkook blinks. He shakes his head stubbornly, the nerves in the corner of his jaw fluttering as he grits his teeth. “You were the one who said we should take a break.”

“A break!” You snap sternly. “Fuck, Jungkook. I didn’t want you out of my life forever. I wanted you to fight for me.”

“No, don’t put this all on me,” Jungkook pleads helplessly. “I have always fought for you. But the minute things got rough, you bailed. You told me you never wanted to see me again. What the hell was I supposed to do?”

“I was scared!” You try to swallow the tears away that start to form as a lump in your throat but to no avail. “I was, and I still am, so fucking scared of losing you. And you━ It felt like you gave me no choice. Like you were over it. I would have wanted to make things work but you left. You just… You left, and suddenly it was like you were never in my life at all. Seven months, and I get no word from you.”

“I fucked up, okay!” He cries out so suddenly, it silences you at once. He bites at his lip, and straightens up half-heartedly, running a hand through his hair. When he meets your stare this time, he’s zealous yet sincere. “I know that I messed up. I know. And it fucking kills me every single day. I don’t know where it went wrong, but it did, and I know it’s all my fault. When you said we should take a break and I agreed, I was only thinking about you. Because I knew I was disappointing you every day, and I was afraid that was all I would ever do, and you don’t deserve that. I thought it would be better this way, if I was just gone from your life for good. But I can’t forget you.”

“How can I trust you?” You ask. When his pained stare gawks at you, you tilt your chin a little higher. “I came by your hotel room yesterday morning, just like you asked, only to see that girl leaving.”

Jungkook’s gawk turns into a dumbfounded expression. He looks weary as he shakes his head, as if struggling to keep up with the way you accuse him now. He tries not to focus on the fact that you actually came to the hotel, then feels inconsolably terrible when he realizes why he never got to see you. “That girl was Namjoon’s fling. We were sharing the suite, and they were in a whole other room. I didn’t even think about her━”

Your stare droops from him, and he knows he’s struggling to keep you on his side.

“Okay, fine. You want trust? I’ll give it to you,” he says. A newfound sense of confidence seems to possess him, though he approaches the topic with extra caution anyway. “After we broke up, I was crushed. I couldn’t move on from you, and the guys thought I should get drunk, find a random girl to bring back to our hotel one night on tour. And I listened, because I wanted to forget you, but it didn’t work. All I could think about was you. Every time she touched me, every time she kissed me, I could only imagine it was you. And when she left that night, I broke down because I felt like such a fucking idiot. I instantly regretted it. Like, even though you and I weren’t together, I still did something to hurt you by sleeping with that girl. And all it did was hurt me too in the process.”

He pushes himself forward, taking a step over the threshold. Even despite him admitting his wrongs to you, you can’t find it in yourself to hate him. Because, at the end of it all, he’s here at your doorstep, pleading for you to forgive him, but he had already won the moment your eyes had landed on him.

“You’re the reason I am who I am today.” His voice is hoarse when he speaks, almost in a whisper. “That I get to do what I love for a living. But all of it means nothing without you. You saw me at my worst, and my best. And you were the best I ever had, and I ruined it, and the worst part of it all is that there’s nothing I can do to make up for it. But I promise I can make it better ━ I can make it right again ━ if you just give me a chance.”

There’s a short pause filled with poignant silence in which Jungkook thinks you’ll push him away or scream at him. He’s fortunate when you do neither; instead, he hears you whisper faintly.

“Kiss me, Jungkook.”

And it’s more than enough for him. His heart thrums in delight as he wastes no time in reaching out for you. His hands are warm as they come to grasp at your face, holding you delicately; then he’s leaning in to you, drawing you closer and closer until his lips are pressed against yours. It’s unadulterated, but not without feverish passion, noses smushing together in both your eager hastiness to close the distance between the two of you. It doesn’t last long either, though that’s partly because Jungkook can taste your tears mingling on your lips, and can feel your faint smile form against his mouth. Kissing him feels both foreign yet familiar at the same time. You know the feel, the taste, and the sense of comfort that comes with it, but months apart from one another has left it feeling different.

Jungkook’s thumb wipes away at the tears on your face. “Why are you crying?”

It’s a useless question, he knows, but he needs something to fill the silence. He’s relieved when he hears you snicker. “Because I miss you, you idiot. And I’m sorry I’ve been acting like such an idiot. I’ve messed everything up.”

His own shoulders quiver with contented mirth. “It’ll be okay.” As he leans in once more for another kiss, you can feel him murmur against your mouth, “I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

“Then make it right,” You say, “right here and now.”

“I’ll do anything for you,” he promises earnestly.

Jungkook understands the underlying yearning in your voice even without having you explain yourself. He knows, if only because he can feel it too. As his hands fall to your waist, fingers digging into your skin, your own arms wrap around his neck and pull him into your apartment. He has you pressed up against the nearest wall within seconds, kissing at your throat, then up to your jawline.

“It’s been so long,” he sighs.

You hum in agreement, though your mind is already spinning, and all you can muster is a weak yet urgent croak of his name. “Jungkook.”

Your fingers thread through his hair, tugging at the roots and he croons with delight. His lips finally meet yours again, only this time he lets his tongue lav at your lower lip. Almost as soon as he does so, you notice something strange. It takes a moment for you to register the small metallic object that grazes your lower lip but when you do, you pull away from the boy.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asks in a confused dazed.

“Is that…” You rasp. “Did you get your tongue pierced?”

Suddenly, Jungkook is smirking, one brow shooting up to his hairline in a smug demeanour. He sticks out his tongue for you to see the silver ball poking through and you almost moan at the sight of it as the thought entices you.

“Oh.” Your face warms with a flustered blush. “That’s new.”

“Yeah,” he says. “Always wanted to get it done. Guess I was saving it for the right moment.”

“Right moment, huh?” You scoff as if the implications don’t already have your thighs rubbing together. “Care to explain?”

“I think you’ll find out soon enough.”

You dissolve into a fit of giggles, marvelling at the way Jungkook’s familiar flirtatious bantering can soothe your troubled heart at once. It’s almost as if time hasn’t lapsed between the two of you.

“I’ve missed this,” You sigh. “I’ve missed you, Jungkook.”

You spot him smiling before he’s kissing you again, this time his tongue slipping past your parted lips to meet yours midway. The piercing is strange to adjust to, but you get used to it quickly, humming at the feeling of it against the soft flesh of your tongue. It’s easy to get lost in one another’s lips as you pull and tug at Jungkook, guiding him to your bedroom, nearly tripping and stumbling over one another in the process. He knows the path like the back of his hand, the same way he knows every curve and dimple of your body as his greedy hands explore you. He has you sprawled out beneath him on the bed in a matter of seconds, carelessly shedding each other of your clothes until you’re left naked and he’s without a shirt.

As he’s tugging off the hoodie you’re wearing, he realizes two things abruptly. One: you’re not wearing anything beneath it, your bare body dazzling him at once. And, two: a sudden thought jogs his memory that makes him ponder aloud, “Is this my sweater?”

“Yes,” You admit sheepishly.

He smirks. “Was wondering where it went.”

“You forgot to take it back when…” You don’t finish your sentence. Instead, you tug your fingers at the hair at the nape of his neck, as if scared he’ll leave again. He doesn’t. Instead, he nestles his body between your legs, tonguing patterns on your neck. “I wear it sometimes, especially when I’m missing you. I don’t know… It just━ It still smells like you, even after all this time.”

Jungkook’s heart nearly implodes. He wonders briefly if he’d prefer fucking you without or with the hoodie; but then he’s letting himself time to study your naked body and he deduces he needs to gaze at you in your entirety a little longer.

“Keep talking,” he murmurs. He starts kissing down your body now, starting from your throat to your collarbones, between the valley of your breasts, then your navel. “Tell me more. How badly did you miss me?”

“So badly,” You whimper. Your legs instinctively part to make way for him as he shifts downward, kissing just above your core. A shudder runs down your spine when he kisses the inside of your thigh. “Sometimes I’d put your sweater on and touch myself to the thought of you.”

He grunts against you, teeth softly biting at your flesh. His tongue pokes against your thigh, the metallic piercing a dully cold sensation as he licks upward to your core. He laps at your folds, as if to taste the glistening cum that starts to form.

Your breath audibly hitches in your throat, hips jutting forward to meet his mouth. “I missed your hands, and the way they made me feel. Missed your mouth between my legs. Missed cumming on your tongue, or your fingers.”

Now, you’re starting to understand what he meant by waiting for the right moment to use the piercing to its fullest potential. As he lifts his head higher to tongue at your clit, the piercing makes your head spin. The contrast between his soft tongue and the harsh metal works wonders against you, rubbing you just the right way that has you a moaning mess beneath him within a matter of seconds.

“Fuck━” You cry out, hands twisting in his hair. “My hands never feel the same. You always made me feel so good, Jungkook.”

He hums something in response, the sound reverberating up your spine. He busies himself by replacing his tongue with his finger, rubbing small, controlled circles against your clit as he lowers his mouth to your folds. He teases the piercing against the sensitive flesh before lapping at your insides, burrowing further into you.

“Ooh, Jungkook━”

The noise that eclipses your throat is a piqued sob of delight. The piercing that scratches against your walls has your insides throbbing, body twisting and turning beneath him. You grab at your breasts, fingers pinching at the perked buds as you imagine Jungkook’s hands in replace of yours.

His mouth wraps just right around you and he sucks hard, earning a beautiful moan from you. It doesn’t take long for you to draw closer to your high, sputtering and whimpering at every action he does. Soon he’s burrowing his face even closer against your core, nose nudging against your clit in a way that makes you writhe and squirm. Before he can get carried away (and he certainly could), Jungkook decides to come to a stop which seems to thoroughly surprise and upset you. When you feel his missing warmth between your legs and the sticky wet mess accentuated further by the cool air that hits you, you pout like a child.

“That’s not fair,” you whine.

“Sorry, baby. Need to feel you.” He pulls away from you and crawls over your body once more. He kisses your lips, sloppy and heated, and lets you taste your own succulence on your tongue. “God, I need to feel you so bad.”

You’re just as much startled as you were seconds ago to hear the slight whine in his voice, a sound hot enough to almost push you over the edge.

“I’ve missed you too, just so you know,” he moans, burrowing his face in the crook of your neck. Your fingers continue to scratch delicately at his scalp and he simpers delightfully against you. He ruts his hips eagerly against yours, the bulge in his pants rough against your core. “So fucking much.”

“How much?” Now it’s your turn to ask, your curiosity getting the best of you once you find your voice.

“Every day,” he sighs as he continues to grind his hips into yours. “Get so hard at the thought of you. Your pretty mouth moaning my name. Your hands in my hair, just like this━” You pull a little tighter at the roots of his locks, and he has to stifle his contented moan. “And your body━ Fuck, your body. You take my dick so well, baby.”

“Jungkook,” You mewl impatiently. “Wanna feel you in me.”

“Fuck, okay. Okay━”

He hastens to rid himself of his pants and you help, arms momentarily tangling with one another in your rush. Then he’s kneeling before you, one hand planted firmly on your hip, rings digging roughly against your skin, as his other hand wraps a fist around his hard length, slowly pumping himself. He guides the tip of his leaking cock to your core and pushes himself forward carefully. He easily slips past your folds, coaxed by your slick walls, that he has to pause to give you both time to adjust to the feeling. It’s just as he remembered, though somehow better, and he isn’t so sure how long he’ll last. You don’t know either, marvelling in the way he stretches you open.

“Oh, shit,” he grunts.

He watches as your jaw drops open in a silent gap, your eyes fixed only on his. You grab at his hips, fingers scratching delicately over the laurel tattoos inked there, prompting him to move. He does so in one languid movement, burying deeper and deeper into you until you feel so full and he feels so warm. He fucks into you a little sluggish at first, taking his time and enjoying the way your clenching walls feel around his throbbing cock. It’s a pace so maddening that it soon has the both of you panting, heavy moans filling the space around you. Your own fingers dig into his shoulders, his back, his hips ━ anything to keep a hold on reality as you slowly lose yourself to the pleasure. He reaches for one of your hands, eager to feel you in more ways than one, and laces his digits with yours, pressing your clasped palms above your head. You squeeze tightly, his name falling from your lips in a cry.

“Doing so good,” he mumbles through gritted teeth. “Feel so nice, baby.”

Jungkook grasps at your hips and flips the two of you over. He lands on his back on the soft mattress and you fumble to not break the pace. Firmly planting your hands on his chest, you grind against him, sweat coating your forehead. He watches you with a dark fascination, brows screwed together and jaw clenched as your own cum starts leaking down his length. Not wanting to waste another moment without being beside you, he sits up and shifts you in his lap. Then he pulls you close to him, chest pulled flush against chest to the point where he can feel the rapid beat of your heart against his. You whimper aloud, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck as he guides your hips back and forth on him. There’s little to no space between your gyrating bodies, sweaty skin sticking to one another.

At some point, Jungkook notices you’re crying again, steady tears tangling in your lashes and wetting your face. Despite the way you’re driving him to near euphoria, he brushes your hair out of your face and manages to ask, “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“I’m sorry━ fuck,” You gasp. He can tell you’re genuinely sympathetic for whatever’s making you cry but it’s hard for you to convey it properly when you’re still so consumed by him. “I’m so sorry━ I’m okay. I just━ You feel so good, Jungkook.”

“It’s okay,” he whispers, rubbing tender circles against your waist that contrasts with the fierce burn between your legs. “You’re okay, baby. Doing so well for me, aren’t you? Cum for me, yeah?”

You won’t tell him why you’re crying ━ not yet, at least. But Jungkook thinks he knows why; he can feel it too. The bitter sense of longing and mingling regret for all the time lost. The overwhelming feeling of love of finally being reunited. You continue to roll your hips against his, and he, breathless, rubs his nose faintly against yours, resting his forehead against yours.

It doesn’t take much longer after that for you to come tumbling to you high. He strokes your hair so lovingly as you ride him recklessly, leisure rolls of your hips driving you to your high. When you cum, the feeling completely washes over you and electricity crackles in your veins, warming your entire body. He holds you close to his chest the entire time as you writhe with pleasure, your walls clenching around his cock.

“Fuck, I’m gonna━” His voice splinters off as you busy yourself by sucking a bruise onto the underside of his jaw.

He reaches his high moments later just as you’re beginning to wince at the feeling of oversensitivity. He grunts and groans, spilling his hot seed into you, and then, with his hips slammed against yours, grinds leisurely to ride out your highs.

Then, the room falls silent.

Neither of you move from your warm embrace, with you still perched on his lap, his cock softening inside you as his cum runs down his length and onto your thighs. Your face is hidden in the crook of his neck, and he waits until you’ve both calmed down from your orgasms. You’re running your fingers through his sweaty hair, but he knows you’re still sad. He kisses you all over in the meantime, a few ticklish kisses that make you smile sleepily and a few loving ones that have your heart swelling. Then, he gingerly shifts your head to look at him.

“Why were you crying?” he asks silently.

It takes you a moment to respond. You cling to him tightly when you do and all he can do is cradle you closer to him. “I don’t want this to be some kind of drunken one night stand thing. Like we both needed one last fuck to get over each other, or something."

“You mean more to me than a one night stand,” Jungkook says and it makes you smile smally, a little timidly.

“That’s good,” You say, “because I’m not over you or us. I want us to work out. I love you too much to lose you again, and I’m scared this might be the last time I’ll ever see you.”

“I’m not letting that happen,” Jungkook shakes his head furiously. “I’d be an absolute idiot to let that happen. You won’t lose me. I’m not going anywhere this time. You’re my priority, Y/N. You always have been. Not the band and definitely not the record label.”

“I’m sure the boys will love to hear that,” You snort to yourself.

“Yeah, well, I’m sure they’ll understand,” Jungkook grins. But you’re only joking, and you know he sort of is too. That’s not to say the band isn’t still important to him, but you take precedent over it. “Without you, I wouldn’t even have the chance to be where I am now.”

You nuzzle your nose against his own, and he steals one sweet kiss from you.

“Do you really mean all that?”

“With my whole heart.”

And, when he says it, you know he means it. There’s no reason not to trust him.

You’ll both move eventually from one another’s arms, soft touches from Jungkook peeling you off of him and wrapping you in your covers before falling asleep beside you, and waking up in the morning with you in his arms. But, for now, it’s just you and him, a little broken still yet all the more in love.

While you both know healing a broken heart will take time, you’re both prepared for it because you’re both worth it to one another ━ and that’s all either of you really need in the end to make it right.

⟶ Feedback is always appreciated!

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razorblade-kiss55 · 2 years ago

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Night Life

Hey guys!! I randomly wrote this idk how I feel about it but I thought I was fun so why not ! Let me know if you like it :))))

Synopsis~ you’re a bartender at a random dive bar. While the jackass group is traveling around for their movie they’re in town for a little bit. They stop by the bar one night and things get a bit interesting.

Warnings: only thing I can think of is reader smokes a cigarette. (Don’t smoke y’all I only write it bc I like the aesthetic I know you know what I mean)

Word count -1.3k

Every night for you was the same. The usual drunk idiots, the fights, the chaos. Though you never wavered in your choice of this life. Until it got too much. Now here you are. Cleaning the top of a bar you hated more than you ever thought you could. But then something pulled you from your deep over contemplation of every decision you’ve ever made. It was laughter and you were immediately drawn in.

A large group came in, you soon recognized most of them to be the Jackass crew. You weren’t a fan, you didn’t dislike them either. It just wasn’t ever something you watched. But you could spot Bam Margera and Johnny Knoxville from a mile away. You realize you have a few of your regulars demanding your attention at the bar. Most of the large group settles by a few pool tables the rest dispersing throughout the bar.

You get sidetracked doing other tasks and completely forget about the group. You assume the other bartender must’ve helped them while you were in the back so you don’t worry too much about them not being served. You’re finally done with the other things you had to finish up for the night and settle back behind the bar.

You notice the bar isn’t too busy other than biggest friend group you’ve ever seen. I mean come on who has that many friends? You therefore decide to take advantage of your managers one drink a night rule. You grab a glass pouring a generous amount of whiskey. It was nearing the end of your shift after a long day and you needed it.

“Steve-o!” A surprisingly southern accent called out across the bar grabbing your attention. You saw Johnny Knoxville playing pool leaned over one of the tables. “Could you be a doll and get me a beer?” He asked, steve-o wasn’t doing much just chatting to a few of his friends.

It seems he obliged because he’s now heading your way. He slumps down and plops his elbows on the bar In front of him. He looks up to find the other bartender. His eyes meet yours for the first time and you swear things went in slow motion for a second. You can instantly feel your face flush. He continues to stare, you could only assume he’s passed the point of no return and just trying to formulate a thought, through his drunken haze.

But you’re shocked when he sounds almost completely sober. “ Hey uh” his voice is more gravelly than you realize and your even more curious about the brown eyed boy in front of you.

“What can I getcha?” You say hoping maybe if you spoke up he would finish his order and stop gawking at you. He looks away smiling and clearing his throat, sitting up a little higher In the seat.

“Just a beer” He responded looking back to you.

You nod and grab a cold bottle from the fridge popping off the lid and hand it to him. He grazes your fingers with his, never breaking eye contact. You can tell by the look he gave you before walking away, that it was intentional. He was now sat back in his original spot in the corner of the bar.

The night is is slowly ticking by, so you decide to go out for a smoke break before leaving for the night.

You step outside in front of the bar leaning against the brick wall. The neon sign lit up the dark parking lot.

Suddenly you hear the front door swing open and look up to see the roughly spoken boy from earlier.

“Hey” he smiled at you sliding his hands in his jean pockets

“Hi- were you like looking for me?” You question resting the cigarette on your lips inhaling deeply.

“Ya know I hear those things are bad for you.” He said walking over to lean on the wall next to you.

“Can I bum one?”

“But I thought they were bad for you.” You ask mocking his previous statement.

He shrugs “I tend to like things that are bad for me.”

You aren’t sure what that means, but you can’t ignore the chill it made run up your spine. You brush it off pulling another smoke from the carton.

“I’m Steve-o” he said sticking his hand out, blowing smoke out of the corner of his mouth.

“Y/n” you return the hand shake

“So?” You question him after a long period of silence.

“So what?” He questions back chuckling slightly

“Were you looking for me?”

He laughs leaning off the wall now walking in tiny circles.

“Uhh” He took a long drag scratching the back of his head like he was trying to collect his thoughts

“I was” he said nodding slowing his pacing, now focusing on you.

“Why?” You ask you can’t help but have a shit eating grin on your face.

“Well I Uh was” he was abruptly cut off by the sound of laughter as we both look over to see a guy in camo pants curly brown hair. He’s the first to bust out of the front door. He’s followed closely behind by Johnny with his arm around bam. They all started flooding out one after the other all of them in their own random conversations.

“Heyyy!!” Chris comes up to steve-o sliding his arm up to rest on his shoulder.

“This is chris.” He says looking back to you, he looks annoyed but you find it slightly amusing.

“Hi” you reply softly, waving to him.

“Hey” he says in a deeper voice now all his attention on you. He is absolutely wasted, as stumbles around still holding on to steve-o somehow. There’s a long awkward silence until chris blurts out “My friend here thinks your sexy.” Pointing to his friend next to him.

“Christ dude!” Steve says now trying to peel the drunk boy off of him.

“Aannnd you should give him your number.” He smiles wholesomely now pointing at you.

You laugh watching as they start fighting slightly. steve-o is still trying to get Pontius to stop touching him. They go back and forth for a few minutes, you’re still completely entertained by their idiocy.

He looks up realizing your attention is on them and that you didn’t walk away minutes ago, like he presumed. “Shit stop dude.” He says whispering now swatting at chris to stop.

“I’m sorry about him, he uh says crazy shit.” He says scratching the back of his head like before.

“Oh it’s ok” you reply

There’s a moment of silence before you speak up again “So you don’t think I’m sexy then?” You ask putting on your best doe eyes.

He gets choked up completely caught off guard by your question.

Chris laughs at your response giving you a high five. “I like this one!” Still laughing he walks away back to the rest of the group.

“I do think you’re sexy.” He admitted quietly, his eyes darting from the ground to yours.

“Well good then this shouldn’t go to waste.” You hand him one of your cigarettes with your number on it. When the two boys were goofing off you had ruffled through your purse and quickly wrote it down knowing you already you were going to give him your number.

He ducks down sweeping your hand up in his, rubbing the back of it gently with his thumb.

“Goodnight” he says dropping it, softly, now running over to the people screaming for him to cmon and that they were leaving without him.

“Goodnight!” You called out after.

You watch as they all pile into their cars driving off. Now heading over to yours plopping in and throwing your bag to the passenger seat. You sigh dropping your face into your hands.

This boy was not going to leave your mind anytime soon.

~ hope the cigarette moment wasn’t too cheesy I couldn’t pass it up. ~

Thank you for reading you’re my favorite xoxo <3

#jackass #mtv #steve o #johnny knoxville #chris pontius #jackass x reader #jackassfanfic #wildboyz #aesthetic

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venusiangguk · 4 years ago

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gold rush pt. 3 | jjk (m)

>>pairing: jungkook x reader

>>genre: pwp, v little plot, smut, kinda fluffy, college au (kinda), established relationship

>>word count: 9.9k um?

>>warnings: pegging!!!, butt stuff!!!, sexy anal!!!, sub jk, soft dom oc, crying why do i always make everyone cry, fingering (m), strap on, dildos, vibrators, sex toys, sex shop adventures, explicit sex, like so explicit this bitch is basically 10k, mutual masturbation, coming untouched, kisses, aftercare in the form of snacks, titty squeezing, dirty talk, excessive use of pet names, yoongi exists

>>notes: i wasn’t gonna write this bc ur girl does not know the first thing about pegging, but jk sucking the strap came to me in a dream and i had to do it. it was highly requested so i hope u like it! i wrote and poorly edited this whole thing today so im sorry for any mistakes !!

>>summary: jk wants the strap, and jk gets what he wants !!

pt.1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

The sun is shining, and there’s just the perfect amount of breeze to cool Jeongguk as sweat runs down his temple. The soccer pitch just got cut, making the ball much easier to control, and therefore much easier to aim at Jimin’s ass. It’s cool-down time, so the team is in groups of three, idly kicking the ball between each other, for the last few minutes of practice. All in all, a great day to talk about getting pegged with his best friends.

Jeongguk glances around the field, making sure the other groups are far enough away from him and his friends before clearing his throat. “So… do you guys like… get pegged?”

When Taehyung passes the ball to Jimin, Jimin completely misses it due to the fact that he is looking at Jeongguk like he is the most pitiful human on the planet. Jeongguk adjusts his shin guard to avoid the scrutiny.

“Gguk… honey… are you dumb?”

Taehyung’s jogging back after retrieving the ball that ran astray. “No, Mini. He’s straight.” He kicks the ball to Jeongguk. “If by ‘pegged’ you mean fucked in the ass by a real dick, then yeah. We do.”

Jeongguk receives the ball with a ‘rainbow’ and juggles it from his thigh to his laces, balancing the ball for a second before kicking it to Jimin. He nods, contemplative. “Nice.”

“Okay ace.” He passes to Taehyung, before throwing Jeongguk a teasing look. “You thinking about taking it up the ass, Gukkie?”

“Perhaps I’m contemplating.” He sniffs nose in the air.

Taehyung laughs. “Got your button milked once and now you wanna take a phallic shaped object? Proud of you.” He places his hand over his heart, like the mere thought of Jeongguk getting railed makes his heart warm.

A whistle blows, and Jeongguk kicks the ball up to his arm, tucking it into the curve of his trim waist. “Why does everyone call it a button? And it hasn’t only been once.” He sounds exasperated and so so tired.

His friends jog to bump shoulders with him as they make their way to the locker rooms. “Hey, jokes aside, I think it’s cool you’re like comfortable enough, or whatever, with __ to explore the things you like.” Taehyung says.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “Okay Dad.”

“No seriously!” Jimin insists, holding the locker room door open for them. Fuck the rest of the team. “She seems good for you. Babys you like you need.” Jimin laughs.

Jeongguk’s shirt gets caught on his head as he squawks. “I don’t just like being babied, fuck you.”

“Okay so she also entertains your sadistic side. She’s the full package.”

Jeongguk looks down with a blush. He shrugs his shoulders lightly before bending over to get out of his gear. “She’s pretty cool I guess.”

Taehyung knees him while he’s still bent over making him stumble a bit. “Awe, Jeonggukkie is in love.”

“Shut up.” Jeongguk smacks him in the face with his smelly sock.

“When you gonna do it?” Jimin asks, buttoning his new pants.

Apparently they aren’t showering today. Jeongguk will just have to stop at his dorm before heading to yours to help you study. That reminds him that you have a test on Friday, but are free this weekend. He just so happens to be free as well. The team they were supposed to play had to forfeit because their coach got caught sleeping with one of the cheerleaders. Sucks, but good for Jeongguk and his little asshole.

“Maybe this weekend.” With their backpacks on, they start the trek back to the dorms. It’s nearing night now, the sun just starting to set in the sky. Jeongguk pulls out his phone to tell you he’s stopping by his place before heading to you. You reply quickly.

baby🥺💘😏🧠🙄👊🏻:

okie

wanna have sex instead of helping me study

me:

yeah but im not gonna

just think about how good the sex will be when u get an a

baby🥺💘😏🧠🙄👊🏻:

🙄

When Jeongguk pockets his phone, Taehyung speaks up.

“You think she’ll be down?”

Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate. “Yeah, probably.”

Ever since the first time you made him cum untouched, butt stuff has been a moderately regular occurrence for you both as a long-term, healthy, pro-ass eating couple. Honestly it was mostly him getting his butt played with, but he supposed it made sense. Like Jimin explained to his once naïve self, it was just biological- or something. Whatever. He wonders if three fingers will be enough to fit a fake dick in his ass. He asks his friends.

“Eh…” Jimin starts, looking up like he’s thinking. “Maybe, but you might wanna try to get to four, maybe five if you're using hers, since she’s tiny.”

Jeongguk’s mouth falls open and he pales. Taehyung notices and laughs.

“Don’t get scared. It’s just better to over-prep than under-prep. And like obviously you work up to it, she’s not just gonna shove her fist or her cock up your ass.”

Her cock. A little tingle settles in Jeongguk’s lower belly at the statement. He’s been thinking about this for a while, looking at porn in his free time. Seeing the way the guys moan on their girls’ strap always gets him hard. Seeing how hard their cocks get when the toy hits them just right. He throbs when he sees the guys cum just from the strap, no hands. Maybe he should fuck you when he gets to your dorm instead of helping you study. His cock is feeling a little plump.

“Alright well… Bye, thanks for being gay and answering my anal questions!”

As he’s pressing the button to his elevator, they lived on opposite sides of the athlete dorm and there were different elevators for each of the wings, Jimin chirps, “Don’t forget to empty your asshole really well, and don’t eat the day of! Also buy extra lube and put a spare blanket down!”

Jeongguk winces. Valuable information indeed, information he mentally pockets, but did he need to yell it in the dorm common room?

“Noted!” He yells back at the elevator dings and opens up. Jeongguk pretends like he doesn’t meet the curious, kind of confused gaze of one of his teammates. He must have walked in while Jimin was yelling and only caught the end of the conversation while waiting for the same elevator. Jeongguk gets in and immediately closes the doors. He can catch the next lift.

~~~

Jeongguk’s got his head in your lap and you’re running your fingers through his long, silky hair. He showered today, so waves of his aromatherapy lavender shampoo are wafting up to you. Sweet boy. He seems sidetracked, occasionally sighing and subtly twisting, but is still more or less purring on your thigh, feet tucked up onto the cushion of the couch. Netflix is on the small tv that was left by the last person who lived there, you’re mac book connected via HDMI. You’re not really paying attention. Mind kind of tired from all the studying you had done this week. Jeongguk fidgets a tiny bit again, wiggling like he’s trying to get comfortable. He huffs a sigh.

“Hey,” You say softly, getting his attention.

His body curves at the waist, causing his t-shirt to bunch up and show off the dip of his hip bone. He looks up at you with wide eyes. He seems surprisingly awake. Must have some busy little bees buzzing around his mind. He makes a little questioning noise.

“You okay? You’re kinda fussy.” You murmur.

He groans. “I- am just thinking.”

“About?” You drag the word out in a singsong-y manner.

The way Jeongguk’s face flushes is so pretty, you have to stop yourself from cooing.

He moves himself from your lap and sits facing you. He looks like he's thinking about what to say, or how to say what he’s thinking so hard about.

Eloquently he states, “I’m horny.”

You glance at his cock. Not quite hard, but a little happy and excited. You chuckle, leaning towards him, giving him a playfully sexy look. “Okay, let’s fuck baby.”

Jeongguk blushes even more, cheeks tinted red, while he leans away from you.

You pout. “What?”

Again he pauses, a small pout on his lips. He seems to be in a soft, needy, difficult mood. You’re probably going to have to pry what he wants to say out of his mouth.

With another uncalled for exasperated huff, Jeongguk rolls his eyes and moves closer to you before catching you by surprise and swinging a leg over your lap. He’s facing you while he straddles your thighs. His arms are looped around your neck, he’s playing with a little bit of your hair, twirling the long length around his fingers. You smile up at him, gently. Your palms squeeze at his narrow hips encouragingly.

“I want to try something new…” He says. He sounds nervous and looks at you the same.

“Mhmm.” You say, fighting a smile.

“Really bad. Like I want it really bad.” His hips roll, probably unconsciously from the way he closes his eyes to ground himself.

You peek at his lap, and his cock is bulging, the fabric of his sweatpants doing nothing to help hide it. You bring your hand to it, and massage him through his pants.

He whines and pushes against your palm before a hand comes down and grabs your wrist, stopping the movement. “Quit it, I’m trying to talk.” He’s so petulant and whiny.

You move your hand away and place it back on his hip, giggling a little. “Well spit it out, then.”

He scowls. You reach up and smooth the wrinkle in his brow before trailing it down and cupping his cheek. He softens immediately, melts like butter in your hands. His eyes close and he lets out a soft sigh, body relaxing a little.

He’s whispering, kinda giggling out of embarrassment, when he says, “I want you to fuck me.” He pauses, peeking at you through his lashes. “Like for real.”

Almost instantly a little spark ignites in your belly, and you feel your pussy get that telltale heartbeat. You didn’t want to push Jeongguk into anything, but you’ve been thinking about taking the ‘next step’ with your… ass-plorations for some time. But you figured he would get to the same point on his own, and would come to you when he was ready. Turns out you know him as well as you thought you did.

“Yeah?” You rub your free hand up his side.

He nods quickly, eagerly. You pinch his cheek lightly, and he retaliates by trying to bite at it. To avoid the attack it finds his way back to his waist.

“When did you want to? Tonight?”

He wiggles impossibly closer to you. Kisses you quick before nodding again. “Yeah. I um. I already like prepped… mostly. I prepped what I could by myself.” He pauses with a cute thinking face. “You will probably have to help me a little. But yeah. I got ready for you just in case.” He nods.

You hum, glancing at the old clock on the wall, another gift from the prior tenant. 11:52 pm.

“If we hurry, we can make it to a sex shop? They don’t usually close until 2 or 3 in the morning.” You suggest.

Jeongguk bites his lip, smiling excitedly. “Really? Can we?”

You roll your eyes playfully. “Yeah, duh.” You lean up and give him a speedy, but thorough kiss, smiling into it. “Been wanting to peg you for so long.”

His face scrunches endearingly. “Don’t call it that.”

He hops off your lap, and goes to grab the keys, wasting no time. He stands by the door expectantly. His cock is, extremely obviously, sticking out. Someone didn’t wear his briefs today.

“Can you like… kill that?” You’re laughing as you tug on some sweats of your own, having only been lounging in your panties and one of his shirts. Your usual at home attire.

He looks down, and has a smug grin on his face when he looks at you again. “It’ll go down in the car. Hurry up!”

~~~

A dildo looks so much bigger when one is looking at it knowing that it will be inside of them within the next few hours. And there are so many options and colors. Some vibrate, some have fake pubic hair on them. Some have balls that are squishy and feel eerily… accurate.

Jeongguk isn’t having second thoughts, no. But he is having thoughts. Very overwhelming thoughts.

You’re next to your boyfriend, glancing between him and the varying selection of fake cocks displayed in front of you both, trying to gauge his reaction. He looks a little pale, but tentatively excited. Curious at the very least.

“Which one do you want?” You ask.

“No idea.” He responds, eyes wide.

Like most store clerks, one shows up, almost like they have a built in ‘customer needs help and has no idea which dildo to get to peg her super hot boyfriend’ radar.

“You guys need help?” He is a small man, with a monotone voice. He looks like he would rather be anywhere else at 12:30am on a Saturday night.

“NO!” Jeongguk says quickly and loudly. Very loudly.

Both you and the store clerk flinch, looking at him shocked.

Jeongguk shifts on his feet. “No.” He says in a more socially acceptable tone. “No- I’m sorry. But we’re uh-” He grabs your arm and pulls you closer. “We’re good, thanks.”

The clerk looks between you and Jeongguk and the dildos. “Um… Alright.” He starts to walk away before he turns back around. “Well if you change your mind, I’m Yoongi and I’ll be at the counter. If your toy is electric I’ll test it in the back before you leave… We uh- provide batteries with your purchase if needed…” With one last glance, a very judgmental one in Jeongguk’s opinion, Yoongi takes his place at said counter. His eyes flicker to you guys every once in a while.

“Baby,” You grab Jeongguk’s face between your palms and make him look at you. You squeeze and his lips poke out making him look like a guppy. He blinks. “I know you’re nervous, but it’s going to be okay.”

He rolls his eyes, guppy face and all. “Well obviously. I just- We don’t need help.” He wiggles out of your grip, much like a… guppy.

You grin, trying not to laugh, and just be the supportive girlfriend you are. “Okay, did you decide which one you want?”

A side glance. “Not yet…”

You walk up and go to grab a pink sparkly one.

“Uh, not that one.”

You quirk an eyebrow and move your hand to a larger one.

“No.”

You play a little game of dildo hot or cold until you have a better idea of what Jeongguk wants. His preference seems to be skin tone, close to his own, with a more realistic feel. Normal balls though, not squishy. Also no faux hair. You thank him for that. If you actually had a penis it would surely be waxed. Bless Jeongguk for doing the same. As for size, he leaned more towards a very normal, moderate size. Maybe 5 or 6 inches at most, not too thick. Smaller than himself. One last option.

“Do you want it to vibrate?” You ask, holding one in your hand testing the numerous different settings.

He shakes his head, answering quick. “No.”

He pauses.

“Wait.” He thinks. “Maybe. Should we? You could use it too?”

Sweet, kind, considerate angel. Always thinking about you and your pleasure. Couples who share the strap last the longest.

You shrug, pointing out, “I could use one that doesn’t vibrate too.”

He looks offended and sounds snotty. “Uh, you don’t need to.”

“Whatever. Why don’t we get both?”

You had a point. He pretends to ponder it, before nodding, already persuaded. “Okay.”

“We need the harness now.”

You begin the harness hunt, walking through the store, coming across many a things, but for some reason you both keep missing them. They’re nowhere to be found.

“Maybe they’re sold out?” He tries.

“Doubt it. Let’s go ask.” You grab him by his pinky and try to drag him to the counter. He resists.

“Let’s not.”

“Koo.” You say giving him a look.

He whines, throwing his head back. Borderline throwing a fit. You hold your ground, smiling.

He’s easy to give in. Being a brat just on principle. “Fine but you’re talking.”

You stand on your tiptoes and kiss his cheek. “Of course, baby.” With his pinky in hand, you make your way to the counter.

The store clerk, Yoongi, if you remember correctly, is sitting behind the counter hunched over smiling at his phone. He doesn’t seem to notice you’re there.

You clear your throat gently, “Excuse me?”

Yoongi jumps, almost throwing his phone. “Fuck!” He exclaims. His fists come up ready to fight before he sees it’s you and Jeongguk. He then places his hand over his heart. “Shit, you scared me.” He chuckles, recovering quickly. “How can I help you?”

You stare at him for a moment longer before speaking up. “Um yeah, I was just wondering where your harnesses are?”

He leans on the counter, head in his hand looking kinda bored. “Hanresses? What kind? Hanging harness? Body harness?”

You glance at Jeongguk and he looks like he’s going to die.

“The um- strap on harnesses?” Your voice goes to a whisper when you say it, despite it just being you guys in the store.

Yoongi sits up, and looks at you, and then looks at Jeongguk. A look of understanding comes over his face along with an amused smile. He nods to himself, while getting up to help you. “Nice. Follow me.”

Jeongguk gapes at the ‘nice’ and looks at you in disbelief. You pat his butt telling him to get going.

With some help from Yoongi you pick out a harness that looks supportive and comfortable, the ring that holds the dildo, compatible with both the ones that you plan on getting. It’s a simple adjustable black one. Yoongi recommended wearing something under it if the straps dig into you and irritate. He seems bored, but he’s actually very good at his job, and very knowledgeable.

Finally you’re at the counter. You place all the items in Yoongi’s reach and he’s just about to tell you the total when Jeongguk perks up.

“Wait!” He says before scurrying off.

It’s quiet for a split second. Before the clerk speaks up.

“He’s cute.”

You smile, “Thanks, he’s mine.”

Yoongi laughs, small little fish teeth and gums on display. Must be a Pisces. You know Pisces teeth. “Does he have any cute friends?”

You nod. “Yeah, but they are dating.”

He shrugs. “Don’t care.”

“Uh… I can give you their Instagrams?”

He pulls out his phone, and follows them right there after a quick glance at their pages. Confidence is nice.

There’s a short lull in the conversation. And Jeongguk seems to be taking his sweet time getting something you guys must have forgotten. Or the poor things lost. It’s a big store. You speak up this time.

“Do you have like a manager I could leave a review for? You were really helpful, and seemed like you really knew what you were talking about.”

He shakes his head. “Nah, I own the place. You think I would be here on a Saturday night if it wasn’t obligatory? Thanks, though.”

“Oh.” You say. That was pretty impressive. The store was quite successful based on the reviews. You would make sure to let Jimin and Taehyung know Yoongi was a business man.

“Okay, I’m back.” Jeongguk announces. “Sorry I forgot where it was.”

He places 2 (two) large bottles of lube on the counter. You cough out a laugh.

“Baby, we have lube at home.”

“But do we have enough?”

“I think maybe one more would be more than enough.”

He ignores you, looking Yoongi in the eyes for the first time tonight. “Add both please.”

Yoongi nods, looking a little scared of Jeongguk’s seriousness, and does as he’s ordered.

After Jeongguk pays, and you both are making your way to the exit, Yoongi calls out, “Good luck, tell your friends to follow me back!”

“Uh- Okay?” Jeongguk yells back. When you’re in the parking lot, he asks, “What the heck was that about?”

You shake your head, laughing to yourself. “Don’t worry about it.”

~~~

As soon as you get back to your dorm, the atmosphere is thick, full of tension and nervous anticipation. Jeongguk’s fidgety, eager to get started. You’re not far off, but contain yourself a little more. Need to keep control of the situation in case Jeongguk gets deep into his mood.

You guys are in the bathroom now, each one washing a toy before you use it. You make sure to unwrap the harness and the lube as well, both at Jeongguk’s insistent request, ensuring you don’t have to stop and deal with it later.

“Let’s just get undressed in here, it’s where my hamper is.” You say already tugging your shirt over your head, tits bouncing freely. Jeongguk went without briefs today, and you went without a bra.

Jeongguk quietly follows suit, and you don’t miss the way his hands are trembling a little in anticipation. When you’re both naked he kisses you quickly, and jiggles your boobs a little just because they are there and because he can, before saying, “Okay, lets go.” He’s out the bathroom before you can even respond. You laugh to yourself and gather the stuff he forgot in his excitement.

When you walk out with your hands full, you see Jeongguk spreading out a blanket over your comforter.

“Whatcha doin?” You ask curiously, placing the items on the nightstand.

“Gets messy. Wanna save your bedding.” He states.

You squawk, grabbing the blanket he set up on your bed. “Not my baby blanket you monster.”

He laughs, abs tensing. You notice he’s already hanging a little heavy between his thighs. “Sorry. Was the first one I saw.” He walks over to the couch and replaces the blanket that’s hanging over the back with your baby blanket and resets up. “Better?” he asks, extended his arm towards your bed to show off his work.

You nod, and take the few steps needed to close the space between you both. Your hand runs down his belly, and you feel his muscles jump, and you see little goosebumps sprout all over. His hands come up to cup your tits. You kiss softly where his heart is. You look up at him.

“I love you.” You smile.

He blushes. “Love you.” He whispers, before he leans down and slots your lips together.

It’s eager from the start. Your bodies press together, as your hands roam. When he takes a breath and surges back in, your teeth click together is his haste, before his tongue slips into your mouth. He groans into you, his hand going down to cup your ass, squeezing and pulling you impossibly closer.

You feel his cock against your belly, almost fully hard already. You reach down to wrap a hand around him, wanting to help him get there before you get started. He hisses, thrusting forward instinctively before pulling away. He looks like he hates that he does.

“No- I,” He’s already short of breath, chest rising and falling a little bit faster than normal. “I wanna watch you cum. With the toy.” He reaches around you, grabbing the vibrating dildo. “Please?” He asks. His eyes are fervent.

You take the toy in your hand, and kiss him again softly. “Yeah, baby. Whatever you. It’s all about you tonight.”

He shakes his head. “Always about you too.”

Your heart beats, happy in your chest. You thought about it earlier in the night, but Jeongguk really was the best lover. He always, always made sure you were taken care of, before, during, and after sex. He was so vocal and communicative, genuinely wanting you to know it was always about both of you, even if one was receiving more attention. He was caring like that in and out of the bedroom. You were so lucky to be his.

“You’re too good to me,” You laugh, climbing onto the bed. You settle back against your pillows, propping some behind you so you can see him, and watch him while you get off. He takes his place in front of you, looking at you expectantly.

He’s impatient, placing his hands on your knees, spreading you open so he can see your cunt. You let him get you into position before saying, “Keep your hands to yourself now, okay?”

He nods, eyes never leaving your pussy. He licks his lips. “Okay.” It’s said in a distracted kind of far away tone.

You hum as you bring the toy to your mouth, getting it wet. You wouldn’t need any lube, you would be dripping in no time. You don’t waste any time putting your free hand down between your legs and spreading your pussy lips, so your clit and the pretty pink center of your cunt are displayed for Jeongguk. You glance at him through your lashes, when you hear a small gasp fall from his lips. He’s already got a hand around himself. Just the tips of his fingers stroking his length, at a leisurely pace.

“She’s so pretty… You’re so pretty.” His eye flick to your face before zeroing in on your center again.

“Tell me how to do it baby. Tell me what you want to see.” You say, voice salacious and soft. You circle your finger slowly around your nub, dipping inside just a bit to spread your slick around.

When he swallows, it’s audible, his Adam's apple jumping. “I want you to turn it on low, and put it on your clit. I want you to feel good.”

You smile, and drag the tip of it down your body to just above your clit, turning it on the lowest setting before making contact with your sensitive nub. Your legs jolt, almost closing when you feel the vibrations. Even the lowest setting was strong. Your head falls back, and your legs spread more for him once you get used to the strength of the toy. “Fuck…” You breathe.

“Does it feel good?” He asks, greedy for your pleasure.

You nod, eyes still closed, focusing. You move the vibrator in small circles over your clit. You can hear Jeongguk’s breaths speed up.

“Turn it up.” His voice gives away that he’s speeded up his hand on his cock too.

You do as he says, looking at him as you do. He’s sin personified. He’s on his knees, sitting back on his feet, so his thighs are flexed and bulging. His abs tense when his palm twists under the crown of his cock. His eyes almost look black, pupils blown so wide, lust taking over his face. He’s got his plump bottom lip drawn between his teeth. He looks up from your pussy and catches you staring. He smiles shyly.

You keep your eyes on him as you bring the toy back down to your core. A short high pitched moan falls from your lips, as your brows knit together, before your eyes roll back. He groans, your expression enough to make his cock start to leak.

“Feels so good, Jeongguk.” You moan. The vibrator is right where it feels best, pulsing against your clit, causing pleasure to bleed into your veins.

“Yeah, baby?” He asks, he’s breathless, sounds like he’s in love. With you, your cunt. “Tell me.”

“‘S just right Koo, could make me cum just like this…”

He curses, and you open your eyes just in time to see him grip the base of his cock, keeping himself in check. “Not yet, baby. Little longer, please.” Still so polite and good for you, even when he��s the one telling you what to do.

He has you keep the vibe there, for a while longer, right in the spot that’s gonna make you lose it. He watches as a tiny clear drop leaks from you pink little pussy. It looks like it’s heavy and about to drip down to the blanket under you. He doesn’t notice your legs shaking until you’re gasping, “Koo, I’m almost- I’m gonna-”

“No!” He says quickly, his hand reaches out to pull the vibrator from your cunt just before you get your high. Your pussy aches and throbs, wanting to cum so bad.

Your chest is heaving when you ask, “Are… are you edging me?”

He shakes his head, even though your eyes are closed, trying to catch your breath. “No, no! I just. I got distracted.” He looks at that small drop of slick again. Fuck, he wants to lick it up and drink you down. “You’re leaking.” He states.

You laugh, breathing getting back to normal. “Yeah?” You reach your hand down to collect the distracting little droplet and bring it in front of you. You press the sticky finger to your thumb and then pull them apart to see the clear strings stay connected even as you pull. You hum, before offering your hand to Jeongguk. He sucks in a breath.

“Want some?”

He’s quick as he crawls between you legs, cock fully hard now. He watches you as he sucks your fingers into his mouth, tongue swirling around getting every last bit, before he sucks off with a pop!

He crawls farther up your body to kiss you deep, wanting you to get a taste of yourself too. He pulls back just a bit, and whispers against your lips, “I want you to fuck yourself with it, okay? Just for a little bit, then you can cum?” He’s phrasing it as a question, knowing he really doesn't have the final say, not tonight. But his voice is shaking from how turned on he is, how could you ever say no?

“Sit back.” Is all you respond. He does as he’s told.

You buzz the toy over your clit again, just because you can. Wanting to see how long Jeongguk can be good before begging. Turns out it’s not long at all.

“Put it in…” He moans. You look at him and his mouth is parted, and his eyes heavy as he watches you. His hand is moving fast over his cock, sticking straight up to his tummy. “Please.”

You drag the toy down to your slit, and tease it there before just barely pushing it in just a fraction of the length. Jeongguk whines, high and desperate. Apparently you’re moving to slow for him.

“More,” He begs.

You sigh, “You’re so needy tonight, baby.” He nods, agreeable.

When the toy sinks inside of you all the way to the hilt, you and Jeongguk both moan a quiet, “Fuck.” simultaneously. You’re coherent enough to laugh a little at the jinx, but he seems to barely notice, too focused on watching the toy sink into you, and then come back out to vibrate your clit again. You keep up this teasing pattern, again waiting to be told what to do by him, waiting to see how long he makes it this time.

“Harder, do it harder,” He’s panting. Moaning every word that leaves his lips.

You do as he says, and finally push the toy in at a pace that gets you climbing to being close again. You won’t be able to come like this though, and he knows that. Knows that you can only cum from penetration with him. He leans over and grabs the other toy from the end table, spitting on it and spreading it around until it's covered well.

“Use them both, want you to cum for me.”

With two toys in your hands, one in your cunt, filling you up, and one on your clit, making your legs shake, you do your best to make yourself cum. But it’s not enough. A soft whine falls from your lips, you’re so close, but you need more. More than you can give yourself.

“Faster baby, faster. You’re so close.” He whispers. He got both hands working now too, one stroking and one down tugging on his balls.

You whimper, “I can’t my arm hurts. It’s tired.”

Immediately he stops pleasing himself and gets right to pleasing you. Your pleasure taking priority. “Shh, don’t worry, I’ll help you baby.”

Jeongguk sits between your legs, and takes over the toy fucking into you, and turns up the one on your clit. With him pushing the toy in at a pace that you couldn’t do yourself, and the other toy vibing your clit incessantly, it takes barely any time at all for you to cum. You were so close already, just needed him to push you over.

Your legs are shaking and your toes are curling, when you cry out, “Baby, I’m gonna cum.”

“Do it, baby. Wanna watch.” He’s quiet, paying close attention to your body and the reactions he’s helping pull from it. He’s part of the reason why your face looks so pornographic as you finish. He’s part of the reason why your back is arching off of the bed. He’s part of the reason why your toes are curling, and why your legs are shaking, and why your pussy is contracting over the toy he’s still thrusting inside of you, working you through every last second of your orgasm. He reads your body cues, and slows down and pulls it out when you start to come down. You look blissed out, and you bring a hand to your hair and fluff it a little before laughing.

“That was good.” You sigh smiling, and when you look at him an image forms in your head, and you have every intention of making him carry it out.

Right before your eyes, Jeongguk wraps his lips around the toy that is going to be inside of him in just a short while, sucking off your slick. He laps his tongue around it trying to get it all. He’s obscene.

“Gimme,” You say sitting up with an extended hand.

He pouts at being interrupted, but does as he’s told. He takes your spot on the bed, and you head to the bathroom, stopping by your dresser on the way.

When you get to the bathroom, you close the door and get to cleaning the toys once again. After, you get to the stuff you grabbed from the wardrobe. A lacy pair of black panties, and sheer black thigh highs with matching lace adorning the tops. You slip into them, and then move on to the strap on. You hold it in front of you and try to make sense of which part goes where, and which holes your legs go into. It takes a second, but you get into it, adjusting it so it's nice and snug. Your outfit probably won’t help much with protecting your thighs, but at least the little part above your pussy will be safe. You look at yourself in the mirror. Not too weird or scary yet. You glance at the dildo on the counter.

It’s not too big so hopefully it’s not too… jarring when you see yourself with it. You get to work, slipping the suction base of the non-vibrating toy into the ring that’s meant to hold it in place. You look at it sticking out from your crotch and take a deep breath before turning to the mirror.

You gasp, before cackling quietly. You knew it was going to be weird. Like you knew. But actually seeing yourself with the whole get up is funny. Right now at least. You know it’s going to be sexy, once you get used to it and into the moment and inside of Jeongguk. You wonder how he’s going to react. Only one way to find out.

While you're walking to your bedroom from the bathroom, the dildo bobs, and you're giggling distractedly until you lift your eyes to let your boyfriend know you're ready. Again you’re met with a scene so indecent it belongs in a porno.

Jeongguk’s eyes are closed and soft moans are falling from his lips as he strokes his cock. He’s got three fingers in his ass, opening himself up for you, for your cock. Such a good good boy. He was so patient and productive while you got ready for him.

“You’re so good baby,” You murmur softly.

Jeongguk blinks his eyes open slowly, and rolls his head to the side to look at you. He doesn’t even falter in his movements at all, hand still moving, fingers still thrusting. He smiles a little when he sees you, but his eyes are hazy and he sounds lust drunk when he simply says, “You look sexy.”

You blush and a fond smile graces your lips, any embarrassment or self consciousness you were feeling prior to seeing him spread out for you on your bed, quickly vanishing.

You settle on the bed between his legs and watch for a moment as his hole takes his long fingers in. “Want me to help?” You ask quietly.

“Mhmm,” He nods, eyes closed still, tongue peeking out from between his lips. He doesn’t take his fingers out, though.

You grab the lube next to him, and flip it open. “You gonna get out so I can get in?”

He shakes his head. “Nuh uh. Put one in with mine.”

Something about that makes your body tingle. Inside of him with him. Opening him up. You can’t explain it, because you don’t really even get it yourself, but it makes you buzz and feel almost high.

You slick up your middle finger, and drizzle some more on his for good measure. He jumps slightly, and then giggles softly.

“Cold.” He says.

“Sorry,” You say distractedly. Your finger is lined up with his now.

“I’ve never done 4 before so you… have to go slow…” He pauses as he speaks, letting himself moan freely when his fingers graze over that secret spot that he’s grown to love so much.

“Tell me to stop if you need to.”

He doesn’t reply, just stops his fingers so you can wiggle yours in next to his. At the first push against his hole, there’s resistance. Very much expected. He’s quiet, teeth gritted, but he never says stop, knowing his body wants it, and knowing it will accommodate what he wants. After the second knuckle, your finger sinks in, almost gets sucked in, by his hole.

He lets out a shaky breath.

“You okay, baby?” You check in.

“Yeah just… full.” He moans when you wiggle your finger experimentally. “”S good. Move it some more.”

You do, and his start to move with yours. You can feel his fingers curl inside of himself to reach his prostate, and it’s pleasant in an out of body way, knowing when his face is going to contort in pleasure, and when he’s going to cry out, when you never really knew before. You’ve milked him before, of course, but feeling him do it to himself from the inside? It’s kind of thrilling.

“Pull, stretch me out.” He moans, voice impatient and needy.

He gets kinda slutty when something’s up his ass.

He swears when you do, his finger rubbing insistent circles on his prostate to distract himself from the minor sting of the stretch. His moans, start to raise in pitch and his hand that’s on his cock, still jerking it, starts to speed up. You can tell he’s close. He clenches against your finger that’s still stretching him open.

“Fuck,” He says, on a breathless giggle, “Take them out. Or I’m gonna cum.” He’s still stroking his cock, like he doesn’t wanna stop.

“You c-”

“No. Out.” He demands, hand finally pulling away from his cock, and his fingers inside stop. You gently ease out of him.

When Jeongguk’s fingers slip out, you gasp. His little pink hole is clenching on nothing, still open just the tiniest bit, thoroughly stretched.

“You know how you always say my pussy is pretty?” You ask, fingers tracing around the puffy stretched rim.

He makes an affirmative noise, watching you with hooded, lazy eyes as you touch him. He even spreads farther so you can touch and see better. You marvel at the difference between the embarrassed boy you made cum untouched a couple months ago, and the one in front of you now, so comfortable and relaxed. It makes you happy.

“Well, your butthole is pretty.”

He snorts, and kicks you lightly. He smiles at you, soft and sluggish. “Just fuck me.”

He sounds so wistful and just ready.

But you’re not.

You grip the base of your cock, and stand up. You walk to the head of the bed, next to his confused face. You stay there waiting for him to get it. He doesn’t.

“You want me inside of you right baby?” You ask, voice gentle.

He nods, eyes no longer hazy, but wide and confused. He looks between you and your cock.

“I think that means you have to get me ready. Get me nice and wet, right?”

You can physically see when Jeongguk gets it. When it clicks for him. His eyes darken, and he licks his lips. “Yeah… You’re right. I should… help you.” He whispers, sitting up. You back up enough for him to have a place on the floor.

Jeongguk on his knees for you isn’t a new sight. He’s eaten your pussy like this before, you either grinding onto his face, or him holding you still and making quick work of your clit. But Jeongguk on his knees for you to suck your cock? New, and lewd.

He looks nervous, kind of hesitant. A hand is raised midway, like he isn't sure if he should grab it.

“Lick it, baby.” You encourage.

He glances at you, doe eyes seeking approval as he leans forward and gives a kitten lick to the tip. You nod, letting him know he’s doing well. His hand comes up and replaces yours at the base and he opens his mouth enough to wrap his lips around the head, and he swirls his tongue.

He pops off, and strokes up to where his mouth was and spreads the little bit of spit. The silicone is still dry though, so he spits on it more, straight from his mouth. You suck in a breath.

“Fuck, you’re so hot baby.” You whisper a breathy moan as his hands move up and down your cock. He adds his mouth again.

He hums a little, before backing up and looking at you again. “Does that feel good?” He asks.

You laugh lightly, in pure awe of him. He’s so sexy, and so sweet, and so incredibly lust inducing. Your pussy aches behind your cock. “Feels so good, baby. You’re doing so good.”

He hums, still stroking you off. “I really want it inside me…” He says, hinting that he’s ready.

You have mercy on him, having fulfilled your newfound personal fantasy enough for the night. Maybe you could revisit it another time. But now it was time to fulfill a mutual fantasy.

“On the bed, hands and knees.” You tell him.

Excitedly he hops back onto the bed, and gets into position, his hole on display for you. His back is arched and you can see the plush swell where his lower back meets the top of his cheeks. You settle behind him, and his shoulder to waist to hip ratio, is sinful. He’s always had the daintiest waist, strong, but still so small. But at this angle, it’s cinched and the way his legs are spread makes his hips look wider, accentuating the dip at his middle. You rub your hands over the narrow curve, all the way to his cheeks, grabbing handfuls of the muscle. There’s a slight give when you squeeze your hands.

Jeongguk’s head drops, and he lets out a shuddering sigh, he’s got the chills again, and he’s got a constant thrum coursing through his body. “Please…” He moans, so quietly, so desperately.

You kiss the small of his back before grabbing the lube left abandoned on the bed. You lather 2 of your fingers, and push them into Jeongguk’s hole making sure he’s nice and slick. There’s no resistance at all, hole loose and ready enough for them to slip right in. Then you lather your cock, probably with too much lube, honestly, but you wanted to be so sure that he didn’t feel any more pain than absolutely necessary. You knew the first initial push in would be the worst, but you were hopeful you both had stretched him out enough to at least minimize or diminish it altogether.

You grab the base of your cock and line it up with his hole. It flutters, when you barely press against his rim.

“Ready?” You ask, giving a heads up.

“Yeah.” He says softly.

He’s tight. His hole sinks in with the tip of your cock before the rim gives and swallows around it. Jeongguk tenses and his hands grip the blanket under you.

“Shit…” He groans. He sounds like he’s clenching his teeth.

You rub soothingly at his lower back, fingers dipping when you run them over the dimples at the bottom of his spine. “You’re doing so good baby.” You tell him.

“Doesn’t really hurt, I’m just stretching.” He says through his teeth. “I can take it though, keep going.”

You grab the lube and drizzle more directly onto his hole. He doesn’t mention the cold this time, too focused on taking your cock. You push against him, and feel yourself sink deeper into him. It’s like after the tip was in, his body knew what to do to take the rest. The slide wasn’t a swift, fast stroke, but it was a smooth and slow glide. When you bottom out Jeongguk’s arms give out from under him, his face going to the bed.

“Holy fuck.” He keens, resting his head on his arms. Your hands are constantly on him, soothing him in any way that you can.

“Tell me when.” You whisper patiently. He nods. With his head turned to the side and pillowed on his arms, you can see his eyes are squeezed shut. The inhales and exhales you can see in the expanding of his ribcage, tell you that he’s taking deep breaths working through the stretch, getting himself used to it.

“Okay… Ready.” He murmurs.

You pull out just a bit before pushing back in. Jeongguk moans softly. Spreads his legs even wider, arches his back even deeper. He’s pushing his ass out for you, his body begging you to make it feel good.

You keep a slow pace, kind of nervous to speed up.

“You can go faster, feels nice.” He says. He’s been puffing out little gasps of air every time you bottom out with your slow pace.

With his consent, you grab at his hips and pull out to just the tip, before swiftly pushing back in, fast and hard. His cheeks bounce on the impact. You grab one and jiggle it a little, thrusting into him again, drinking down the whines that slip out.

“You’ve got such a bubble butt, I never noticed before. But it like… bounces.” You say, wonder in your tone.

“Thanks, can you like tell me about it later?” He asks, voice strained.

Point taken.

Your thrust game is kind of shitty, in reality. It’s hard to find a rhythm, your hips not used to moving this way. But Jeongguk is moaning freely underneath you, just happy to have something inside of him after thinking about it all week. So you keep going, and eventually, the pattern comes to you, still kind of messy, but now you’ve got him cursing beneath you. You’ve got one hand on his ass, the other braced on his arched spine.

A particularly good thrust has Jeongguk burying his face into the bed, teeth biting at the bedding. “Yeah fuck-” He groans with his mouth full of blanket. With his hands now free, he brings them behind him and settles them on his cheeks and spreads.

You watch clearly as your cock sinks into Jeongguk’s ass. You’re out of breath, but you make sure to tell him how good he looks, how pretty his hole looks swallowing your cock, like it was made to take it.

“Wanna ride you.” He says. His voice is pitifully wrecked and he sounds so thoroughly fucked, you feel a little proud. Still, you’re grateful for a break. You don’t know how he fucks you like he does. ‘Topping’ is tiring. You pull out of him, and realize that when you were in awe of his hole at taking your fingers, it was premature. Jeongguk’s hole after he takes your cock is vulgar. It’s properly gaped now. Not huge, but around a fingers width.

He rolls over, and settles on his back like he just needs a moment. His chest is heaving, similar to yours. You hop off the bed, and a needy keen comes from him. You glance back at him, and he looks like he’s going to get up and follow you, but you hush him gently.

“I’m just getting some water, baby. I’ll be right back.”

He huffs flopping back onto his back. “Hurry please.” He whines.

You get back as soon as possible with a glass of water for you both to share. He sits up onto one elbow and makes a grabby hand for the cup after you’ve had your share. You swat his hand away and hold the cup to his lips. He hums, gulping the water down. He’s happy to be coddled and taken care of. When he finishes with a cute little gasp, you place the cup to the side, and brush your hand through his sweaty hair.

He butts his head against your palm and laughs. His eyes shut, and crinkled at the corners. His water break seems to have perked him up. His cock hasn’t deflated one bit. Rock hard and red, throbbing against his tummy. It’s messy and wet too.

You’re about to ask if he touched himself while you were inside of him, but before you can, you’re getting manhandled until he’s on top of you. He’s got your hands pinned above your head, and he smiles at you playfully, before leaning down to kiss you, deep and slow. He sucks on your lip, and slowly grinds his cock onto your belly, soft whines spilling from his tongue. He brushes his nose against yours as he sighs into your mouth, finally allowing himself the pleasure of paying attention to his cock.

He doesn’t allow himself relief for long, however. He’s sitting up and looking from side to side for the lube before finally spotting it. His movements are quick and hectic, like he’s too excited and overly eager.

You rub your hands over his strong thighs. “Hey, slow down. You don’t have to rush. We have all night.”

He sighs at your touch, and nods softly. He whispers. “Yeah… okay. I love you.”

The little affection makes you swoon, absolutely smitten. “I love you.” You squeeze at his legs, tenderly.

He hums. “Gonna ride you now.” He opens the lube and continues with eager actions, almost like you didn’t even slow him down just a moment ago. You smile fondly to yourself. Jeongguk’s too busy slicking up your cock again to notice the mushy look.

He’s got a hand reaching behind him and he’s gripping your cock to line it up with his hole. He wiggles to get into the right position before slowly starting to sink down. His eyebrows are pinched, and his mouth falls open. But his eyes roll back when he bottoms out. His hands are braced on your stomach.

“Oh, I love it like this.” He whimpers. His legs tense at your sides, almost like he’s trying to close his legs at the pleasure he feels from your cock being tucked inside of him, hitting all the right places. He starts to grind on your cock, soft pleasured little mewls just tumbling off his tongue.

He looks so good, whining, grinding on you with his weeping cock displayed. But you wanna see him lose it on your cock. See him fall apart at how good it feels, not watch him bask in it.

“Bounce on it.” You say, voice sounding almost as fucked out as his. You know your panties are soaked through at this point, pussy pulsing and neglected, tucked away behind the strap.

Jeongguk nods. “Yeah, wanna.”

He’s lifting himself off your cock to the tip before sliding down on it again, hard and fast. It punches a sharp gasp from his lungs. He finds a pace he likes and keeps it up, his thighs tensing, and his abs flexing as he tests his stamina, chasing that euphoric feeling he wants so so badly. He’s so strong and fit, bouncing up and down on your cock as loud unabashed moans fill the room.

The force of him riding you makes your tits jiggle, bouncing around until they catch his attention. He groans before his hands find them, squeezing hard, using them as leverage as he pulls and drags his hips over yours. Your cock must be rubbing over his prostate because he’s losing his mind. All kinds of noises leave his mouth, and the expressions he makes are filthy.

“Fuck baby. You make me feel so good. The best- I-” He eyes squeeze shut and his mouth opens in a silent moan, overwhelmed, before a guttural groan sounds from deep within his chest. “God. Wanna cum on your cock, baby. Fuck me-”

You laugh, wonderstruck, and kind of deliriously high on the satisfaction and fulfillment you get from seeing Jeongguk feel so just…. Good. “Yeah baby? You’re gonna cum for me? All over my cock?”

He whimpers and nods as he gets back to bouncing, a desperation to his movements that wasn’t there before. His cock is slapping against both of your stomachs with nasty wet noises due to his precum getting everywhere. You feel some fly and hit your neck, his cock just dripping, weeping and begging to cum.

It won’t be long though, before he cums. You feel the way his thighs tense, and he gets that confused look on his face, and he’s got that puzzled pitch to his moans. It’s the way he always gets when he cums untouched, always in awe that he can do it himself, without a hand around his cock. His whole body is flushed and hot to the touch, sweat making him glow in the soft light of your bedroom lamp.

He throws his head back, neck extended, and veins bulging, before looking down at his bouncing cock. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” He’s so whiny and noisy when he moans.

“Yeah?” You ask again, “Do it baby, show me how. You can do it, cum for me.”

He’s nodding frantically, “Yeah- I’m gonna... Fuck, yes- Yeah, I’m-” He bounces a few more times, silent aside from the obscene squelching noises of your skin meeting, before his body tenses one last time before that string in him snaps. “Cumming-” He chokes it out. His moans don’t stop the whole time his cock shoots out his load, landing on your tummy. The moans even turn into cries, actual tears filling his eyes and falling down his cheeks. His body jerks and twitches with his orgasm. But still, he’s grinding on you, your cock still rubbing that spot inside of him, it’s like he never wants the feeling to end, even if it’s devastating, bordering on too much to handle.

You smooth your hands all over his sweaty body, before firmly placing them on his hips, stopping him. “Hey. You’re good, you did so good baby, you don’t have to keep going.”

Jeongguk’s cries are quiet, and he takes a few deep stuttering breaths to try and calm himself down, nodding with your soothing words. He rubs the back of his hand at his eyes, trying to dry them. It doesn’t help much, he’s calmed himself some but a few silent tears still make their way out, along with some soft hiccupping breaths.

“Lay down, and wait for me, hmm?” You whisper gently. He nods and lifts himself slowly, wincing at the sore ache in his hole. It’s more prevalent now that the pleasure has subsided. He all but collapses onto your pillow.

“I’m gonna get some more water, and a towel okay?”

He grunts in response.

Before you go, you strip out of the gear, just tossing it on the ground, eager to get back to Jeongguk after getting the things you need.

When you get back, he is in the same exact position, and you laugh lightly.

“Baby?” You ask, making sure he didn’t fall asleep.

Another grunt.

Good, he would hate you in the morning if you left him to sleep being so messy.

“Sit up, I have water and snacks and cleaning supplies.”

His head pops up. “Snacks?” His hair is sticking up on one side.

You laugh, endeared. He’s not crying anymore either, a good sign that he will be okay in just a little while after some kisses and love.

“Yeah, I got some of those seaweed chips you like, and some water.”

He sits up, leaning back on the pillows knowing the drill for after butt stuff. You hand him the water and the chips. He eats first.

“You hungry?” You ask, fitting yourself between his legs with the warm washcloth. He opens easily, munching away. You both are far past after sex shyness.

He talks with his mouth full. “Yeah. Jimin said not to eat the day off.”

You hum curiously, but don’t question it. Jimin partakes in butt stuff much more than you both.

You’ve got all the lube cleaned off his thighs and cheeks, now all that’s left is his hole. You do it as gently as you can, knowing he’s sore just from how red and swollen and puffy it is. But he still winces.

“How bad is it?” He mumbles.

You hesitate. “Um… You’re gonna be a little sore.” You tell him simply.

He groans, before downing his water. When he’s done, he says, “Practice is going to suck.”

You nod in agreement. It was. You wrap the used cloth in the blanket you used to protect your sheets, once again just tossing the bundle to the floor.

“Worth it though,” He smiles, pleased.

You chuckle as you find your place by him. He’s set his refreshments aside and lets you curl against him. His body sags with exhaustion when he feels your warmth press into him. You plant kisses on every inch of skin you can reach. He purrs.

“Why’d you keep going?” You ask, between smooches.

“I don’t know… it just felt so good. I guess I didn’t want it to stop.” He’s quiet, and his words are said on a sigh.

You nod, your kisses making your way to his lips. You just kiss him, slow and easy, for a few minutes until he yawns into it. He giggles.

“I’m so tired man.”

“I bet man.” You tease.

He kisses you one more time before asking, “Will you tickle my back until I fall asleep?” It’s hopeful and so sugary sweet.

“Yeah roll over.”

It’s barely a few minutes before you're met with his soft snores. You kiss his shoulder blade, before following right behind him.

~~~~

you ask for pegging and you shall receive :] i hope you liked it and that it met ur pegging standards askdkhjd as always, comments and feedback and asks and notes are loved and appreciated. thank you for reading friends ily :*

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hops-hunny · 4 years ago

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Yo-yo’s Girl

Pairing: Kyoya Ootori x Black!Reader

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 1.6k

Request: N/A

Summary: Kyoya’s girlfriend is a lot a bit different than what they expected.

Warnings: None, could be read as a chubby or plus size reader!

A/N: This was self indulgent. I wrote this at like 2 AM and didn’t know until I woke up.

"Do you really think this is going to work?" Haruhi asked, already done with Tamaki's antics. She knew this was a bad idea but with the promise of some of her debt being removed, she couldn't find herself to do anything but go along with the blonde's crazy scheme.

"Why of course it will! When have you ever known of my plans to go wrong?" He responded, placing a hand over his heart as he swooned around dramatically. Hikaru and Kaoru exchanged looks with each other before looking back at Tamaki.

"Do you really want us to answer that?" They chimed, causing Tamaki to deflate with a defeated look. He looked over at Haruhi with puppy dog eyes, hoping the girl would agree with him. She offered him a sympathetic smile, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Listen senpai, don't get me wrong, sometimes your ideas are great but isn't this...a bit much? I mean why can't we just ask Kyoya about his love life? Do we really need this elaborate plan?" She asked, hoping he would budge. She looked down as Honey hung off her arm, Mori trailing behind him.

"Don't be silly, Haru-chan! Kyoya senpai is a private guy. He wouldn't trust us with anything like that." He said, climbing off the girl and back onto Mori. She let her eyes drift to Mori in hopes he'd help but he just let out a grunt of agreement. She sighed in defeat knowing she wasn't going to get through to them. How had they gotten into this dumb plan in the first place?

It all started when Tamaki overheard Kyoya on the phone with someone and from the tone in the raven haired boy's voice, he assumed it was a girl. More specifically, his girlfriend. However, any other time Tamaki didn't wanna intrude so to avoid doing so, he decided they would all follow him after school to see if that's where he was going!

As they saw a familiar head of black hair walk towards the school gates, they all began to walk behind him, attempting to be as quiet as possible. They had been following him for a few blocks, leading to a nice but unfamiliar part of town; however as he stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, they all began to hide behind a bush but halted their motions when they heard him speak.

"Do you honestly think I didn't see any of you?" He questioned, not even turning around. They all stayed quiet in hopes that he would assume himself as crazy and continue to make his way down the street. But, as he turned around, parting the bushes, that idea flew out the window.

"Hey Kyoya! My dearest friend, I'd even go as far as to call you my bro-"

"Cut the bullshit Tamaki. Let me guess." He pushed his glasses up his nose before clearing his throat. "You thought that if you followed me you'd get to see my girlfriend, correct?" He asked, their wide eyes answering his question. However, where was the fun in that?

"That's exactly what we were doing! We wanna meet your girlfriend, Kyo-chan!" Honey piped up. The twins glared at him for his willingness to comply with Kyoya's questions so easily. Meanwhile Haruhi just sighed, slumping down even further.

"If you wanted to meet my girlfriend, you all could've just asked. I expected more from you, Haruhi. You should've known better." He chastised, watching the girl who's left eye was currently twitching. Without another word, Kyoya kept down his path towards the airport, leaving his companions to fight amongst each other.

----------------------

It was Friday of the same week and the rest of the hosts were beginning to grow hopeless about meeting Kyoya's girlfriend. Was she even real? Perhaps Tamaki's senses had been wrong and the conversation that played out earlier that week was simply meant to teach them a lesson. However, as the hosts were shutting things down for the day, slowly gathering there things to go home, Kyoya cleared his throat. They all turned to him, curious to what he had to say.

"Leaving so soon? And to think (Y/n) was coming to visit today. Oh well, I'll tell her you all said hi." Kyoya started, turning around to face the window. 3, 2,.. a chorus of hot fire questions started around him causing him to chuckle under his breath. "One at a time, I can't answer you all at once."

"Why doesn't (Y/n)-chan go to school with us?" Honey started, staring up at the tall boy. Kyoya turned to face the group, brushing off his blazer as he did so.

"She does during a portion of the year. Due to her parent's line of business, (Y/n) does one semester in the United States and one here in Japan. However, she is originally from America. Next question?"

"What do her parents do?" The twins said, angry with each other that they had asked the same question. "I thought my question was original.."

"I'm sure you've heard of the (L/n)'s before. They specialize in state of the art technology of all forms. Best selling in all of Japan. However, (Y/n) also has her own business under her parents that deals with unbreakable fine china, some of the best of it's kind but I'm afraid I'm biased." He smiled at the thought of his girlfriend, catching the other host off guard. Who was this girl who was able to make Kyoya smile?

"What's she like, senpai? I'm sure she must be special to catch your attention." Haruhi inquired. Kyoya felt his cheeks heat up as he thought of the many things he enjoyed about his girlfriend. He turned back to the window, looking out it once again.

"She makes me laugh and she's beautiful. Don't tell her that though. She always gets a big head when you do." He muttered, checking his watch for the time. She should've been here by now.

"She sounds absolutely radiant, Kyoya! When is she going to show?" Tamaki asked, sighing dreamily at the thought of his closest friend in love with a beautiful girl. Kyoya looked at the clock across the room before frowning slightly.

"She was supposed to.." he trailed off at the sound of his name being screamed continuously and the sound of loud footsteps growing closer. All of a sudden a blur of brown skin and thick thighs stormed in, jumping onto the man. Mori put Honey down, ready to fight if need be but stopped once he saw Kyoya wrap his arms around the girl, embracing her tightly.

"Darling! I'm sorry I'm late, I got hungry and stopped by that little bakery you showed me the other day!" The girl said, looking up at the boy who had an uncharacteristically warm smile. Everyone was even more shocked as he let out a laugh, stroking some of the girl's braids behind her back. She was a short girl, full of curves and rolls in all the right places. Her outfit was very casual compared to the things Kyoya wore on his free time. She had on a jean skirt and a form fitting striped shirt that made the undertones of her soft brown skin pop.

"I told you to let me know if you plan on going places beforehand. You know how sidetracked you get. You easily could've gotten lost." He lectured causing the girl to roll her eyes. She pouted, crossing her arms around her chest.

"Okay and? Clearly I didn't. Lay off 4 eyes. I'm here now aren't I? That's all that matters!" She jumped out of the boys arms finally before turning to face the rest of them. They all had the same question: 'How could such an energetic girl be with Kyoya?' "You're definitely Tamaki." She said, pointing to the blonde. He had a flattered look on as he began to say something but she cut him off. "You look just as annoying as Yo-yo said." She finished. Hikaru began to comfort their boss in the corner as Kaoru began to laugh.

"Yo-yo?" He choked out, laughing a bit more. Kyoya's face began to heat up more as he looked down at the short girl, a pissed expression on his face.

"(Y/n) I told you not to call me that in public." He said in an angry tone, looking away from the girl. She pouted some more, bringing a soft hand up to his face. As she stroked his cheek, hot tears began to form in the corner of her (e/c) eyes.

"I'm sorry, Kyoya! I forgot. You know me, I didn't mean to embarrass you in front of your friends." He leaned into the girl's touch, looking down at her sad expression. How could he ever stay mad at that? He sighed quickly, leaning down to place a kiss on her forehead. She squeaked, unused to him initiating any sort of physical affection in public.

"Forgive me darling, I hate to see you so sad. How about I take you to one of those," his face turned slightly green as he grimaced some, "Commoner malls that you adore so much. I'll buy you anything you want. Hm?" The girl instantly perked, throwing her pudgy arms around her lanky boyfriend. He tensed a bit before hugging her back warmly, glaring at the twins who looked like they may say something to ruin the sweet moment. Haruhi watched in awe, feeling even herself grow emotional at how clearly in love her senpai was.

"Really? Let's go Kyo! What are we waiting for?" (Y/n) asked as she grabbed her boyfriend's hand, beginning to drag him towards the door forcefully. Once they were out she quickly peaked her head back in looking at the others.

"Well? Are you coming?"

#kyoya x reader #kyoya #ohshc #kyoya ootori x reader #black reader #black!reader #poc reader #poc!reader #chubby reader #chubby!reader #plus size reader #kyoya x you #ohshc imagine #ohshc imagines #ohshc fic

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sleepysnk · 3 years ago

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a/n: this chapter is fairly short, but i will make up for that in the next one! i hope you guys enjoy :) thank you guys for all of the support on the beach!! <3

pairings: obito uchiha x fem!reader

warnings: modern au, mentions of alcohol, jealousy

The Beach: Chapter Six

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Masterlist

Flashing lights danced along the walls and in your vision as you stepped into the fraternity house. Loud music buzzed and rang around the room, making you cover one of your ears so you didn’t go deaf.

Konan trailed behind you, she had actually come with you. It was kind of surprising because she had homework to do, and she swore she was going to stay home all weekend to catch up. Low and behold, she decided to end up here with you by her side. How could she not? She was practically your mini bodyguard.

“Where are we going?!” she yelled over the loud music.

You looked around the scene before you. There were a lot of people here tonight. You didn’t know if Deidara or anyone else you knew were going to be there. The last time you ran into him was when he confronted you about where you went the night of the party.

Obviously, you had to lie through your teeth and tell him that you got a little sick. He didn’t seem to buy it, but after some convincing he let it go without question. It almost got your ass caught, but he didn’t seem to care after that. All that mattered was that you were safe, and not in some kind of unwanted trouble. Deidara had the reputation to kick some serious ass.

You looked back at Konan. “Let’s go and sit in the living room!” you nodded your head in the direction of the couches.

She shook her head in acknowledgment before following you. The two of you passed some pretty drunk guys on the way there. Looking at them made you think that those guys were going to have a hard time getting home.

Stepping into the living room, you sat down on the same hazelnut couch as you did the first time you came there.

You noticed there were a few other people sitting across from you, but they didn’t seem to have an issue with you guys sitting near them. They were most likely little freshmen who didn’t want to bother anybody. You couldn’t blame them, because you were once them.

Konan fixed her skirt, “Do you want me to get you something to drink?”

You leaned your cheek onto your fist. You knew that if you had something to drink, then you’d probably get really fucked up by the end of the night. You promised yourself you’d finish up all of your extra homework this weekend. You didn’t want to spend your Sunday afternoon laying in bed with a headache from the hangover.

You looked at Konan as you played with your lip. “Maybe just one? I’m not going to get too crazy,” you pulled your phone from your pocket to check your notifications.

She then stood up, her lavender colored hair going behind her shoulders. “I’ll be back,” she said, “Don’t wander off though, because I will kick your ass if you do,”

You looked up at her and laughed. “I won’t!” you rolled your eyes playfully.

As you scrolled through your phone, you wondered where Obito could be. This was one of his parties after all, so why wasn’t he anywhere to be seen? He told you that he would come by and talk with you for a bit. Maybe he got sidetracked or something and he couldn’t come to you yet.

You hadn’t seen him since your last hookup. You remembered that he told you he fetched your notebook from the chem lab the other day. He still had yet to give it back, because his schedule got really busy and hectic. You didn’t mind though, because you would probably see him at some point during the day.

You felt a presence sitting next to you. For a second, you thought it was Konan back with your drinks.

“How did the drink hunting go?” you clicked your phone off to look at her.

Your expression changed when you realized it wasn’t Konan sitting in front of you. It was someone totally different. Someone you didn’t even recognize.

There was a random guy sitting in front of you.

For one, you were taken back by his sudden presence. You didn’t seem to know him either. He looked a bit older than you by the way he looked.

“What’s up? You’re pretty cute,” he raised his eyebrows.

His voice was deep and rough. You took a second to look at his appearance.

He had a pretty big figure. He had well defined muscles that were showing through the fabric of his dark shirt. He had jet black spiky hair. It was similar to Obito’s. He had these dark eyes that were a deep brown. His skin was tan, and you couldn’t lie, he was a pretty attractive guy.

From the way he was looking at you, he looked like he was pretty interested. He was eyeing you like candy. It made you wonder.. how could you miss someone like him?

You shifted around on the couch. “Thank you.. and you are?” you cocked your head to the side.

The dark-haired guy before you placed his arm on top of the couch cushions. It gave you a view of the muscles that were flexing beneath his shirt.

“I’m Zabuza Momochi,” he replied, “How about you, hm? What’s your name, pretty girl?”

Your face grew warm from the nickname. He was definitely a smooth guy. “I’m (Y/N), (Y/N) (L/N),” you gave him a soft smile.

Zabuza had this excitement in his eyes. He was looking at you like he wanted you. “Ah, (Y/N), huh? Pretty name for a fine girl,” he winked at you.

You nodded your head, “Thanks,” you said dryly.

You looked around the room to find where Konan was. How long does it take to get a damn drink?! You hoped she didn’t run into some guy like you did the other night. If that were the case, you probably wouldn’t find her for the rest of the night.

You weren’t uncomfortable, no, but it was just very awkward around him. He seemed like one of those guys who had a reputation for getting any girl they laid their eyes on.

“We should talk or something. You seem like a cool girl,” he said, sitting up so his body was now closer to yours.

You already knew where this conversation was headed, but you could easily deny him. You’d just stall as much as you could until Konan got back with your drinks. You prayed she’d hurry her ass up.

Across the room, there was a certain someone who was looking for you.

It was Obito.

He knew you’d be here. You told him beforehand that you were going to show up. He didn’t end up seeing you though. He wondered if maybe you changed your mind, or if you were off with Konan somewhere in the house.

Either way, Obito wanted to see you tonight. He wanted to talk with you, so he’d do anything to figure out where you were hanging around.

Obito stood in the kitchen. He decided to prop himself up on the counter. He placed the red solo cup in his hand next to him. He was going to text you to see what was up.

As he pulled out his phone, he looked around the room of people. This party was yet again another hit. Kakashi had actually invited some people from another university to come stop by. He was a pretty popular guy, so of course there would be numerous people who’d want to come and hang around him. Obito only told the people he could, because Kakashi had gotten to most of the friends he had already.

Obito looked at the time on his phone. The screen displayed that it was 10:05 P.M.

It wasn’t late at all, in fact, it was almost like the party had just started. Nothing gets going until later in the night. He knew it’d be a very long evening until this party was done and over with.

He looked up from his phone for a brief moment. When he did, he was hit with a rush of confusion.

He saw you.

But, you weren’t by yourself.

You weren’t with Konan, no, it was the complete opposite of that. You were with someone else. More specifically, another guy, a guy that Obito did not recognize.

Obito narrowed his dark eyes on the guy sitting in front of you in the living room. He seemed like a jock if he was being honest. This guy didn’t seem like he was good news either. He had this look on his face that screamed he was some kind of player.

He vaguely recalled that you said you were coming with Konan tonight, not this guy. It made him wonder if you were just lying to him. What if Konan wasn’t coming at all? What if you came with this guy and it was your way of lying to Obito?

Those thoughts were making frustration go through Obito. He didn’t know this guy. He didn’t know your relationship with him. What if you found someone else to talk to during your whole agreement? There were so many questions he had, but he didn’t have the answers to any of them. It was annoying Obito, and his mind was now buzzing with thoughts and questions.

Being honest, Obito wanted to ask this guy why he was talking to you. You didn’t seem too particularly interested in the conversation. You looked bored, almost like you were uninterested.

It then dawned on Obito that he had no right to think that way. Sure, you and Obito were friends with benefits, but he wasn’t yours and you weren’t his. You two also agreed that you could talk to whomever you wanted to talk to. There wasn’t a limit or a line drawn with anyone.

He didn’t know why he was thinking that way about you. It made him feel a bit guilty that he thought about punching some random guy who was talking to you. It could be just a friend, or someone you knew.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t even see you looking at him from across the room.

Obito also didn’t notice that he almost crushed the cup that was sitting behind him. He was lucky the contents didn’t spill out.

You had caught Obito looking at you. You had been searching the room for him the whole night. Seeing him in the kitchen gave you peace of mind, but the way his face looked when you looked at him made you feel uneasy. He looked.. annoyed, like someone had just pissed him off.

It was an expression you had never seen on Obito before.

It made you wonder what had happened.

He seemed to have noticed you staring, because his eyes left your direction and went to the brunette now standing beside him. Rin Nohara, was it? She was a year older than you, and you remembered that Obito was good friends with her.

You noticed the way Obito smiled around her, or the way he’d laugh at whatever she said. It made you wonder..

Was there something going on between them?

“Hey!”

You snapped your head towards the guy in front of you. You then realized that Konan was standing behind him. Her arms were crossed, and she was staring down at him.

“I dunno who you are.. but I was sitting here,” she gave the guy a practical death stare.

Zabuza looked at you then back at your purple-haired friend. “Ah, my bad, I’ll see myself out,” he stood up, “It was nice meeting you though, (Y/N),”

You gave Zabuza an awkward smile. Your attention soon left him and went back to Konan who took the spot she originally had on the couch. She handed you a drink. It was a seltzer, and it was actually one of your favorite brands.

“Who was that?” she pointed her thumb in the direction of Zabuza.

You opened the drink in your hand. “Just some random guy looking to get with me,” you took a sip of the cold drink.

She shook her head before having a taste of her own drink. She looked around the living room and towards the kitchen. You were too lost in your own thoughts to notice that she was staring directly where Obito was.

Dipping back into your headspace, you wondered if Obito and Rin had something going on.

He told you they were friends, but Obito had this look whenever he spoke to her. Did he have feelings for her? Rin was a pretty nice looking girl. From what you heard, she was very smart and had an active campus life. How could Obito not want someone like her?

They were almost like the same people.

You then realized that you shouldn’t care about that. You and Obito could talk to whoever you wanted to. It wasn’t like you two had this weird claim over one another.

It also wasn’t your business.

“Hey! Look..”

You looked over at Konan when she smacked your arm. It got your attention, and made you look where she was looking.

“What? What’s happening?” you scanned the area in front of you.

She tilted your head around so saw what she was looking at. You were now looking at Obito who was still talking to Rin.

You furrowed your eyebrows, “Why are we looking?”

Konan nodded her head to the side. “Because it’s Obito! I know you guys have.. whatever this is going on,” she said, “And I thought you’d like to see,”

You looked at Konan with a serious expression. “Really? I don’t really care if Obito is talking to Rin! It’s not my business, and we aren’t even dating each other,” you leaned against the pillow behind you.

She turned her head, “Really? I mean.. you guys are close so I figured you’d want to know,”

You rolled your eyes playfully. “We may be close, but what he does away from me isn’t my business,” you shrugged your shoulders.

“I guess you’re right,” she sighed, “I’m just surprised he hasn’t come by to talk to you,”

That detail stuck out to you. Obito hadn’t come to you all night. He literally saw you sitting on the couch, yet he didn’t come by to say hello. It confused you, because you and Obito didn’t hide that you guys were friends.

Unless he was hiding it from his friends.

“It doesn’t matter,” you sat up, “He has his own things to do,”

Konan didn’t respond to you after that. You decided to just brush off Obito’s weird behavior. It wasn’t like you cared very much.

This was how the agreement worked.

#summer speaks #the beach #naruto x reader #naruto x y/n #naruto x you #naruto fanfiction #obito uchiha #obito uchiha x reader #obito x you #obito x y/n #obito x reader #anime #naruto #anime fanfic #naruto series

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badboyjuyeon · 4 years ago

Text

me plus you

Pairing: Eric x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 4.6k

Summary: You have to tutor Eric in calculus, but you’re struggling in calculus and Eric doesn’t actually need help.

This was not happening. You rubbed your eyes again as if that was going to change the 0/100 that you received from missing your latest calculus quiz. It didn’t matter how many A’s you got in your past quizzes, a zero would definitely damage your grade. You shoved the test in your bag and made your way towards the teacher’s desk.

“I missed yesterday’s class so I had no idea that I missed this quiz. Is there any way that I can make this up?” You asked your teacher, hoping that she might spare some pity and excuse this quiz. This was out of character for a straight-A student like yourself and you knew that she had a soft spot towards you.

“Unfortunately, it was a unit quiz and you missed it. If you read the syllabus, it explicitly states that there are no make-up opportunities...” She began in a stern voice which eventually turned softer when she noticed the panicked look on your face. “...But knowing how you have always done well in this class, I would be willing to offer extra credit if you join the tutoring center.”

“Consider it done!” You gave your best fake smile as you tried not to think of all the free time you were about to lose. It was your fault, after all, for sleeping in on the day you knew you would have the quiz. Maybe you turned off your alarm because you were struggling in the last few classes and scared to receive a failing grade. Maybe you closed your eyes for “five more minutes” because you didn’t know how to ask for help since you’ve never needed to before.

As you turned to leave, you noticed Eric Sohn push his way from the back of the classroom. He avoided eye contact with the teacher as if that would make him invisible.

“Eric I would like to meet with you.” Your teacher called out to him as he had one foot out of the doorway.

“Aww man, I was so close to escaping.” He muttered under his breath. You bit back a smile at his comment and watched him step back into the classroom. You brushed past him as you left to go sign up for the tutoring center. Eric envied you for being able to walk free, while he was going to be stuck getting yelled at.

“Eric, you’ve been failing all of the recent quizzes. I spoke with your coach and we agreed that you can’t play on the team unless your grades improve.” She shook her head in disappointment.

Eric could not believe what he was hearing. All his practice would have gone towards nothing. He could feel his dreams of becoming a professional baseball player slip away, all because of this one stupid class. “I promise I’ll do better on the next one, just please let me stay on the team.”

Your teacher sighed, “You said that the last time. You still haven’t taken up my recommendation of going to the tutoring center. Another peer might be able to help you better. If your next few grades improve after tutoring, then we’ll talk.”

Eric headed towards the library during his lunch period, which he never would have done under any other circumstance. He preferred to be outside playing basketball with his friends than being cooped up in the library. After signing his name, he sat down on an empty table and waited to be assigned to a tutor. When he tried to look for another familiar name on the tutor list, he noticed yours scribbled neatly with your perfect font-like handwriting. You’ve probably never failed a quiz in your life, let alone the past few quizzes. Eric groaned. How did he let himself slip up in this class? He had a pretty high GPA, but this class was dragging it down from its highest potential.

He flipped through the notebook he dedicated to calculus and was met with empty pages. If only he didn’t stay up late studying for his other classes, he would have been able to pay attention during this class. But resting his eyes always seemed like a much better option.

“Eric? Hi, I’ll be your new calc tutor.” Eric looked up to see you pull out the seat across from him. He let out a sigh of relief because you were not a complete stranger and you always got the highest grades. He would be back on the team in no time. He shot you a smile and his eyes formed crescent moons.

You returned his smile but it was only momentary, and it left as quickly as it came. “Can I tell you a secret?” You fidgeted with your fingers.

Eric was unsure of what to make of your sudden question. He nodded his head to encourage you to continue.

“I have no idea what’s going on in class.” You admitted to him, though this was not something you told anyone else.

Eric let out a laugh, you had to be joking. “Don’t you need an A in this class to be a tutor?”

“Yeah, I just always get my work done on time. My grade doesn’t reflect my understanding of the material but how well I can cheat on all of my assignments.” Upon seeing his confused face, you chose to elaborate. “I usually use photomath, that’s the only way I’ve been passing.”

Eric’s mouth parted in shock. Why didn’t he think of using that app himself? He also couldn’t believe that you were struggling in that class. “Then I’m not crazy, she just really can’t teach. That’s why I haven’t been understanding anything.”

“It’s not you, it’s her.” You assured him. “But can I still ‘tutor’ you because that would be the only way to make up for my last quiz?” You hoped that your desperation wasn’t too obvious.

Eric studied your face, he never had any chance to talk to you this long. Your features were tainted with stress. He could tell that your grades mattered and that he was the only person that could help you. It wouldn’t hurt to spend a little time outside of class with you, it’s not like he had baseball practice to take away his free time.

“Sure, I’m going to need these lessons to explain why I’m suddenly going to do amazing in this class after I start using photomath.”

Your face lit up when you heard him accept and it was enough to ensure that he made the right choice.

“How bad did you do on the last quiz?” Eric still couldn’t believe that you were not the nerd that he thought you were. Teachers always used your work for examples of model work and that was the only impression he had of you prior to this tutor session.

“I got a 0 because I missed class that day.” You looked away in embarrassment. The bright red 0 was still easily visible on your crumpled-up test.

Eric placed his test marked with 65/100 next to yours. “Well I didn’t pass even though I was in class, so we can try to work on it together.”

You flipped to the chapter that the quiz was on and turned the textbook sideways so that he could also see. The library was mainly empty save for you two because the weather was nice and everyone would much rather go outside for lunch. Your table was positioned right near the window, and Eric had the perfect view of all of his friends playing baseball on the school field. He could have been there if he didn’t slack off this bad.

No matter how many times you read the page, you still couldn’t quite get the concept down. No other class had you stuck like this one. While you were stuck rereading, Eric started attempting the first problem on his quiz. He finished in a matter of seconds and you took out photomath, a calculator app that solves literally everything, to check if it’s the same answer.

You couldn’t hide the look of shock on your face when the answer on your screen matched the one on his paper. “Eric I didn’t know that you were a genius. You have to teach me how to do this.”

Eric’s face also matched yours as he was also surprised at himself. He never even thought to attempt the problems before.

“I don’t really know what I did.” He confessed but tried to walk you through his thought process. Hearing him explain the steps allowed you to think of the problem in an entirely different way and it was the only thing you needed to understand how to solve it. Your face still expressed the initial shock, but now you felt more impressed than surprised.

Eric laughed at the irony, here he was tutoring you instead of the other way around. “I’ll have you know that just because I’m a sports guy doesn’t mean that I’m an airhead.”

“And having A’s doesn’t exactly mean that I’m a nerd. I knew you weren’t an airhead, but sleeping during class didn’t exactly make you look the smartest.” You teased him, before asking him the real question that was plaguing your mind. “You picked it up so quickly, why did you fail the last few quizzes?”

He switched his gaze from the paper to look straight into your eyes. “Honestly, I didn’t have any motivation to actually do the quizzes. I thought that I was screwed since I kept sleeping during class. And I have to sacrifice some classes to do better in the rest.” He answered, before moving on to the next problem.

With him facing towards the paper, you took note of his perfect side profile. His eyebrows were furrowed as he thought about how to solve the question. Wow, his jawline was sharp and you were getting sidetracked.

Using his method, you were able to breeze through the problems. You were the type of student to follow the book, word for word, while Eric was the opposite. He was carefree and just did what he felt like, and it worked. You would’ve never thought to experiment like he did but it was exactly what you needed to do.

“Wait I don’t get how to do these last few problems.” He interrupted you from your thoughts and you leaned closer to get a better view of the problem. You checked the steps to solve the problem from photomath and figured out how to solve it.

While you were explaining the problem to him, Eric suddenly became aware of the short proximity between the two of you. His eyes traced your features and they subconsciously drifted towards your lips. He wondered whether they felt as soft as they looked, in a totally platonic way, of course. He shook his head to clear his thoughts.

“That’s why you use this- Eric? Were you even listening?” You turned to face him after he stopped being responsive. Eric felt the blood rush to his cheeks. He quickly scanned the paper and pretended that he was paying attention all along. “Yeah I was listening, I understand it.”

You spent the rest of the period working together to get through the quiz. You two were in your own world and you wouldn’t have noticed how much time went by if the library didn’t become loud, signaling the end of the period, as students transitioned between classes. The period never felt this short.

“We are quite the team,” Eric said as you packed up your things.

“Surprisingly, we are. Let’s meet up again at the same time next week.” You waved at him and rushed to get to your next class.

“See you in class.” Eric watched as you left the library and looked forward to the next time he would see you.

Upon entering calculus class the next day, Eric searched for your face. He found you sitting in your usual seat near the window. Your head was down on the desk, unaware that he was approaching you.

“Is this seat taken?” You lifted your head to see Eric gesturing to the seat next to you. You shook your head, confused as to why he decided to sit next to you instead of the back of the classroom.

You didn’t have to worry about saving a seat for a friend because calculus was the one class that you didn’t share with any friends. You didn’t realize it until now but none of the boys you saw Eric hang out with were in this class either. At least you two would have each other now.

“Isn’t it easier to sleep in the back of the classroom?” You questioned.

“It is, but it's easier to cheat- I mean learn next to you.” He said with a cheeky grin.

Your teacher walked in, cutting off your small talk.

You took out your calculus textbook and notebook while you waited for the teacher to begin. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Eric scribble something on the last page of his notebook. When the teacher turned around to write on the chalkboard, he slid his notebook over to you and tapped you.

i forgot my textbook in my locker, can i look over on yours?

You pushed your textbook towards him and positioned it in between you two. He mouthed a quick “thanks.”

Your teacher began explaining the new concept and you almost forgot about Eric’s presence next to you as you copied down everything that was on the board.

“Wait, is that a four or a nine?” You whispered, trying to decipher the messy handwriting. When you heard no response from Eric, you turned to look at him for the first time since class had started. Eric’s head was resting on the palm of his hand and his eyes were closed shut. He did not just leave you to fend for yourself. You nudged his hand and his head fell onto the desk with a loud thud.

Your teacher briefly turned around to call out whoever was interrupting her lesson but you resumed writing and Eric pretended to read the textbook page extremely closely. After she faced the board again, Eric raised his eyebrows at you, as if to ask why you disrupted his sleep. Not wanting to draw attention again, you passed him a note.

pay attention if you want the teacher to like you, trust me it works.

easier said than done, teacher’s pet.

Eric waited for you to read his note before he stuck his tongue out at you.

You were going to deny being the teacher’s pet when you were interrupted by Hyunjae, who sat on your other side. “Can you help me with number 1?”

“Uh sure.” You responded, despite wanting to work with Eric. You glanced back at Eric, but he began working on the new problem set by himself.

Though Eric’s eyes were focused on the paper in front of him, his ears couldn’t help but listen to your conversation with Hyunjae.

“You’re a lifesaver, thank you so much. Can I pay you back with bubble tea after school?” Hyunjae gave you a flirtatious smile.

Eric’s grip on his pen tightened. He convinced himself that he was only annoyed because he didn’t know how to solve the problem.

“I would never say no to free bubble tea.” You checked to see if Eric was listening from your peripheral vision once again, but he seemed to be disinterested. You weren’t sure why you kept looking back at Eric, maybe you wanted to see if he would object. Or maybe you wanted him to object. But he made no such move to stop you.

Hyunjae beamed. “Great, let’s meet up after class. And maybe we can study for the next test together?”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Were you just trying to bribe me with bubble tea?”

Eric’s head was facing downwards as he tried to hide his feelings of betrayal. The nerve Hyunjae had to steal his study partner.

“And if I was?” Hyunjae challenged.

“That was a smart way to bribe me, you might not even need to study with how smart you are.” You answered.

Eric slammed his pen down, causing you and Hyunjae to look at him.

“Oops, it slipped.” He blurted, feeling satisfied because he interrupted Hyunjae.

The bell rang and you rushed to copy down the homework into your planner.

“Do you want to work on the homework together?” Eric suggested while packing up his things. “I didn’t know how to do the third set of problems.” He added in, hoping that it would convince you to work together.

“I don’t know, I’m in high demand these days. Everyone wants to study with me.” You flaunted. Of course you would study with him, you just wanted to make him work for it. Eric rushed to follow you out of the classroom.

“Pretty please.” He pouted and gave you puppy eyes. You snorted at his attempt of acting cute, which he didn’t even need to do since he was naturally cute.

“Okay fine, but only if you stop doing that hideous face.” You stopped to open your locker.

Eric leaned on the locker next to yours and crossed his arms. “No one can resist this sexy face.”

“Yeah okay.” You replied in a sarcastic tone, though you secretly agreed with him. You took a pen out of your locker and grabbed his hand. Eric held his breath and watched to see what you would do next. You wrote your phone number on the palm of his hand. “Text me. Or facetime me, whatever works for you.” You shut your locker and headed to your next class.

Eric stared at your number on his hand and smiled to himself, his heart still racing from when you touched him.

While you walked away, you felt proud that you were able to pull that move off. But then the color drained from your face. You never said what time. The power rested entirely on Eric and when he decided to contact you. That means that you would have to wait and possibly be camera-ready all day.

As soon as Eric got home from school, he entered your phone number and saved your contact. He wondered whether he would seem too eager if he texted you right away. You were probably still studying with Hyunjae. Eric scoffed as he thought about how Hyunjae was there instead of him.

You stared at the black screen on your phone. Tapping on it for the millionth time, the screen read 8:15 pm. Why didn’t you specify a time? You dived for your phone every time you saw your phone light up with a notification.

Was he even going to facetime you? You glanced around your room in horror. You weren’t able to fix it when you rushed out of the house this morning. You could not let Eric see this mess. You got to work fixing your room while you waited for him to text you. Hearing the familiar vibration, you reached for your phone, hoping it wasn’t another spam email.

hey, it’s eric. are you free to ft and work on the hw rn?

Eric sent the text and threw his phone on the bed. He had spent 15 minutes debating whether his text was too casual. Hugging his pillow, he anxiously waited for you to respond.

yea i’m free

You checked your room once again to see if anything was out of place. Then you saw your reflection in the mirror. You were so caught up in fixing your room, you forgot to fix your appearance. You quickly applied something on your lips so you wouldn’t look too bad.

After sitting down in front of a lamp so you would have optimal lighting, you picked up his facetime call.

“Hey.” You felt your breath hitch in your throat. His hair was still wet from the shower he took just earlier. You didn’t think it was possible for him to get any hotter.

“So how was your date with Hyunjae.” He didn’t even try to hide the bitterness in his tone. Wow, real smooth Eric. He should’ve waited a bit longer to bring it up, but he couldn’t help it.

You laughed at his choice of a conversation starter. “It wasn’t a date, and it was actually very fun. Maybe I need to start charging you for my services. I’ll only accept payment with bubble tea from now on.”

“Spending quality time with me is your payment.” He replied with a smug look on his face.

You shook your head. “That is not enough, I fear.”

Eric crossed his arms and tried to look offended. “I’ll hang up right now then.”

“Need I remind you that you were the one that begged me to help you today?” You spoke matter-of-factly. “But if you must leave, go. I’m very busy you know.”

“Busy studying with other guys? I thought we had something special.” He dramatically clutched his heart.

“You wish, you are yet another one of my side hoes.”

“Your main hoe being boba?” He raised an eyebrow.

You paused to think of a witty response. “It seems you are more interested in my love life than those calculus problems you needed help with.”

“Those problems can wait.” He shrugged his shoulders.

“Fine, how about this? For every problem you get correct, you can ask me a question and I’ll answer it honestly.” You proposed.

Eric smiled widely. “I like how you think. And what happens if I get them wrong?”

“Then I get to ask you a question.” You replied.

“You won’t be able to ask me any questions.” His cockiness was apparent from how confidently he spoke. “The first solution is 5.”

Checking the answer to the first problem, you confirmed that it was 5.

“Since this is about your love life, do you have a boyfriend?” He asked, desperately wanting you to say no.

“Wouldn’t you like to know? Yes, I do have one.” You watched for Eric’s reaction. Eric’s smile dropped for a split second as he registered what you said.

“Oh really? Who? Do I know him?” He interrogated, completely dropping his previous act.

You felt amused watching him squirm. “That’s three other problems you have to get right.”

To your surprise, Eric continued to get the next three problems correct.

“So who is your boyfriend?” He phrased carefully.

“Hyunjae.” You said with a straight face.

Eric’s eyes grew 10 times the size they were. “Really?”

“Nah, I’m just playing. I don’t have a boyfriend.” You finally revealed the truth.

That definitely made Eric happier than he’d like to admit.

“You just made me waste two questions.” He emphasized by holding up two fingers.

“Did you even need help with those problems Eric?”

“Yes...but I figured them all out while you were flirting with Hyunjae.” He looked away from the screen.

“I was not flirting with Hyunjae.” You lied. You did flirt a little, but that was only because you wanted to see if Eric got jealous.

Eric rolled his eyes, not believing you. “Sure you weren’t.”

“You have not seen me flirt, believe me, you would know.” You told him honestly. If you were going to flirt with anyone, it would be him.

Eric’s smile returned once again. “I look forward to seeing that.”

You and Eric fell into a routine where you met up every week to study calculus. And then facetimed after school. And then texted at night. You would work together during class, and Eric would get annoyed every time Hyunjae tried to join.

You and Eric were prepared for the next calculus quiz and your efforts paid off. As soon as Eric got his quiz back, his first thought was to see the look on your face when he told you his grade.

At the end of class, Eric proudly dangled his quiz in front of your face, he couldn’t contain the smile on his face.

You saw a large A on the top of the first page and you pulled him into a hug. Before you could regret acting so spontaneously, Eric hugged you back just as tightly. This was the first time you both hugged, but it felt so comforting and you didn’t want to let go. “Wow I’m so proud of you, I can’t believe you’re scoring higher than me.” You said when you finally pulled away.

“I’m coming for your throne.” Eric winked at you.

After consistently doing well in the classwork, Eric realized that he didn’t need help anymore. The tutoring sessions eventually became an excuse to meet you.

Eric pointed at a problem, his eyes trained on yours, “Can you explain this to me?”

“Eric, you literally taught me how to solve this.” You giggled.

“Oh, did I? Um...well I forgot. Explain it to me again?” You could never resist Eric’s puppy-dog eyes. The more time you spent with him, the more you realized how cute he was.

“Graph this equation.” Eric had randomly said one day while you were studying at the library.

You stared at the equation he wrote and looked back at him with confusion. “How is this relevant to calculus?”

“Just do it.” He whined.

You reached for your graphing calculator and entered the equation.

Staring at the shape the equation produced, you were pleasantly surprised to see that it resembled...“A heart?”

You looked up to see Eric grinning from ear-to-ear, clearly proud that he was able to find this equation.

“Very cute Eric. This is why you urgently needed to meet up today?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, that and I needed to talk to you about something else. My coach told me that the improvement in my grades is enough for me to rejoin the team.” Eric started, unsure of whether he should tell you that he didn’t need tutoring anymore.

“Oh really? That’s great news!” You kept your eyes focused on the paper. You knew that him joining the team would mean your tutoring sessions would have to come to an end soon. “I’m guessing you won’t have time to study anymore.”

Eric knew that he wanted to see you every day, but he didn’t want to pretend that he only wanted to meet you under the pretense of studying. He took a deep breath before speaking. You brought your eyes to meet his when you realized that something must have been up. Eric was never quiet for this long.

“I was wondering if you wanted to continue meeting up outside of school hours, just us two,” Eric asked hesitantly, waiting for your response.

Your eyes widened. Was he asking you out? It’s not a complete reach because you two have been spending a lot of time “studying.” You were afraid that you were taking his words in the wrong way. “You want to study outside?”

“Oh...no, no studying. It would just be us meeting up outside, no calculus.” He looked at the floor.

“Eric Sohn, are you asking me out on a date?” You asked him.

“Only if you’re comfortable with that. I’ve liked you for a while and I didn’t really need help anymore but I still want to see you often. I understand if you don-”

You cut off his rambling with a kiss. You resisted the urge to laugh at how red his ears were when you pulled away. “I like you too. Finally you can buy me my long-deserved boba.”

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