#let yourself seek help to improve but dont let yourself seek help in the form of stagnation. stagnation is the devil
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jacksprostate · 5 months ago
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So what advice WOULD you have for people who might suspect themselves to be autistic, especially those who can’t get an official diagnosis? /gen
Yeah sure, under the cut!
My philosophy focuses around problem solving and improving circumstances rather than focusing on getting or following the path of a diagnosis. So the first thing I recommend if you feel you're struggling, is start actually writing down things you struggle with. Big or small. And then for each, start making a plan on how to mitigate or remove your struggles. Obviously, easier said than done. Lord knows it takes a lot of time, effort, and discipline. However, the biggest thing, is keeping a mindset where it is: you have struggles with x. But this is not a permanent thing, this is something you can work on. You may not be as naturally adept as some people, but this is a challenge and you can face it and improve how it affects your life. This is something that has to be done whether you follow the whole diagnosis route or not, because it's the requirement for living, lol.
I will give an example from my own life.
Firstly, I have always very much struggled with food intake. Eating is something of a chore to me, a lot of food is repulsive (less so than before, thankfully), cooking is a lot of energy. Eating healthily is even more of an issue since you have to make and eat so much more of less calorically dense foods. Over the past 4 years, I've improved a lot though, though it has been trying at times. First, I catelogued my issues. My biggest issue is due to eating little, I wasn't getting enough calories, and I was always tired and weak. I was often sleepy, struggled to concentrate. I was on the verge of being underweight but considered not — yet, I had pretty life impacting symptoms. It was actually thought that I had more severe problems due to all the deficiencies I had. So, the first thing I did was seek out high calorie food that I could use to at least increase my energy. Preferably avoiding outright junk food, but basically, I started routinely trying to eat a meal with lots of carbs once a day. As my energy slowly increased, I started trying to fit in healthier snacks and whatnot, but ultimately (even now!) my goal, 100% is just making sure I get enough calories that I'm not tired tomorrow. It was difficult, especially since my appetite was so surpressed hunger didn't really come back until like 6 months in. Nowadays I do get hundry but still find it unfortunately easy to ignore, though I'm a lot better with it. Anyway, focused on high calorie foods. Once I had more energy, I worked on *cooking* high calorie meals. Literally, just like pasta. Noodles with poor man's pesto (garlic, basil, parm, salt). Ramen. I still eat that like once a day lol. My new challenge is shifting that a bit but it's a work in progress. Anyway, while I regressed some sometimes, I started regularly cooking a very very low effort meal once a day, and eating smth that made sure I had energy for the next day. A lot of my symptoms improved even though my diet was still essentially shit. Then, I also worked on taking a multivitamin. I am very bad at sticking with medications so frankly this is still on and off for me, but I'm planning on incorporating it into my morning routine before work and that should help. I did do this consistently for a while, and this helped. All this happened over 2-3 years. If I ever ate out, I made sure to get something with meat and vegetables since I knew I wasn't getting it at home. Now, my most recent success is I've started managing to meal prep and bring lucnhes to work. I do really simple air fryer chicken and rice/couscous, or fried rice (good for veggies). So far I've managed to consistently bring food, which is a goal I've never dreamed I'd be able to manage on my own! Super awesome. I also found 'drinking' my meals is easier sometimes, so I found smoothie mixes I can tolerate that have more nutritious things. And I do that sometimes. Anyway, I'm finally at the point where the struggle is less eating, and now more expanding my consistent cooking and making myself a better diet. But that is SIGNIFICANT success compared to where I was originally, when I wasn't cooking and I was barely eating and it was physically impacting my life in a way that made it much harder to claw my way out of. But, despite it taking a long time and having a lot of backsliding, I was able to significantly improve.
This sort of thing can be applied to mental health stuff, social stuff, etc. Basically, identify your issues, identify solutions — long term goals but also specific short term steps that will get you there. And then keep trying. Even when you fail. Even when you give up for a long while. Even when it feels like it isn't working. Keep trying. And eventually you'll have made progress even without realizing.
I also applied something similar to trying to work out how to socialize well. Which may be applicable for you. The best thing you can do in my experience is watch people, be confident, and try to pay attention and learn how to interpret people's comfort levels and what's common casual topics of conversation and what's not. Yes, it's hard, and it's usually not intuitive, and that's a big part of why you may feel you are autistic, because this seems entirely foreign in a way it's not to other people. But it is a skill you can learn. At this point, I can hold a conversation with my coworkers, even if we don't have much in common or if we have differing opinions or whatnot, I can have a good lunch conversation and come off as 'intense, but nice'. Which is a good thing to aim for. Like with the eating, I recommend a lot of reflection and efforts to catelogue and identify areas of struggle and how you can observe and practice improvement. The more you do all this, the more it will genuinely become less manual and more automatic, like driving a car. There's a lot you think about when you first start driving, that you aren't consciously thinking about 5 years later. It's the same way. And also, try not to take your fuckups too personally. And some people just won't like you. It is what it is. Just keep chugging.
I know, it is easy to sit here and be like "why should I have to figure out and stick with common topics of conversation? I'm not into those :/" Lord knows, I always felt dumb and out of place whenever people bonded over sports. But what these common topics are, their purpose is essentially like a little olive branch, a thing the person is offering to try and make it easier to chat by commiserating over a common thing, whether it's a issue, a thing yall like, or something else. I'll probably never manage to follow sports teams and I don't want to, but I will nod along as some guys talk and commiserate when they express feelings about wins or losses. The point is to bond. That's why the weather is such a huge topic. Small talk serves a huge purpose! The more you become familiar with how to casually hold a conversation with someone you don't know well over one of these topics, the easier it'll be, and most social stuff develops from that sort of thing. As you bond over the olive branch topics, you can flesh out anecdotes and experiences and personal stuff as you become better friends with people, rather than throwing it all at someone at once and hoping they catch and like you. It lets you sort of get a feel for people, and you can keep it at the small talk level instead of just not talking at all or immediately proceeding to best friends mode. It's a comfortable middle.
I also really recommend, for anyone, engaging and developing a fondness for the world around you, and practicing having appreciation for everything. It has helped my mindset and capability to keep trying. I really recommend learning to identify some category of things in nature in your area, because you'll feel more grounded in the world, you'll see more detail, and the world will feel less threatening.
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jonnyardor · 11 months ago
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For the longest while we jamming in the party
And you whining on me
Pushing everything
Right back on top of me, yeah
But if you think you're gonna get away from me
You better change your mind
You're going home
You're going home with me tonight
Let me hold you
Girl, caress my body
You got me going crazy, you
Turn me on
Turn me on
Kevin Lyttle - Turn Me On
My problem with dance music is that they sneak toxic lyrical content under these fun beats and us dancing to it is us approving the message, consciously or subconsciously subscribing to the harmful ideology that produces such behaviour and attitude towards others.
Regaaeton, Hip hop, Rnb, Ndombolo, many more genres and styles, they sound good but say things that I dont condone. It makes me stand up straight, make a grimace in disgust and I enjoy the song less to the point where I stop listening to most artists . Sometimes I am handpicking secular music , sometimes I ditch it entirely for Christian Hip Hop with great sound! Because a lot has improved since the mid-10s when I first gave Christian Hip Hop a chance to evade "Illuminati music". But the sound wasnt my cup of tea, the wordplay was too simple and the emotions in me weren't stirted up enough by this tame and timid music. God is the Lion of Juda, but the lion who seeks to devour sheep seemingly had all the good music. Now I know that I will always have Congolese christian music and international gospel from Kenya or the USA (whether it's Kirk Franklin/Mary Mary, Gospel groups, choirs or hillsong). But what about music with beats and rhymes? What about riffs and runs in music that you dont pray to? Cant you surround ourselves with God's music throughout the whole day?
I am happy to see the improvements and progress of Christian hip hop amd Christian Rnb. I am a new fan of many artists ,some of which are active in the ministry through song or as youth pastor who deveral years already.
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I can share the songs I like andnthe artists that I discovered since my rediscovery.
Still, some model their sound a lot after secular templates and trends (a christian Drake, Eminem, J cole or Kendrick Lamar).
Same goes for singers who sound like male or female rnb singers or pop stars in the secular music industry.
Some like this "Pendant" music because their listening habits dont really have to change . But I prefer individuals with own sounds and words and a drive snd a vision that is 1 of 1.
The souls still being reached and saved, so the main focus is the world of unbelivers for some artists who want to evangelize through their music.
Next year, I'll share my christian music that I created as an Artist in the form of albums.
While I must admit that Jesus came to heal and save us and not to enjoy the company of the righteous, I feel like we need music to goes deeper into the reality of thebfaith and the mystery of the Word of God. I want to make music for the believers who want to go forward and get even closer to God after being saved and called Child Of God.
What do you do after you give your life?
What can you learn in the Bible?
How can youblive a fulfillingsoirtual life?
How tonresolve inner conflicts by having worldly ambitions, sinful flesh and temptations by Satan?
How to repent and rededicate yourself to Christ?
And many more questions about how to live as a christian and think about God, Christ Jesus and the Holy Spirit.
I want to help us with what I have learned from my father who is a Pastor and what my life experiences as lifelong Christian have informed me with. I will heal and deepen my own faith as me making Christian art and deciding to share my testimony forces me to reflect on my actions and the longings of my heart and desires of the flesh. So maikng Christian music is not to brag about my Holiness, but a reminder of my human flaws and virtues, my values and vision, and above God's faithful love for his imperfect child.
Here are few videos of my Christian music:
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demifiendcruithne · 1 year ago
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ok i'm not actually from r/196 but r/curatedtumblr, so i guess i'm a transfer student now. might have ended up there eventually
name: i dont really like putting my name out (not a privacy thing i just feel Weird seeing my name. names in general are an issue for me for some reason), so just call me Crui
pronouns: she/her, gender is a heck and is very low on my priority list
sexuality: demisexual, subtype pan, if you're going to make pandemic jokes i made those three years ago
location: england (unfortunately)
fandoms: i'm more of a lurker than a participator and dont really actively seek things out right now, but i'd probably say pokemon, kirby, shin megami tensei, danganronpa, and insert whichever special interest of the week here. (notable inclusions are zero escape and live-a-live)
most forbidden snack: i have kirby squishies that smell like strawberry......
pet a bug: depends on the situation. if it's out of nowhere probably not but if i'm prepared in advance then sure. i want to pet a giant millipede
weird fact/story: ok lets see what's here without like. trauma dumping. i used to get what i now guess are auditory hallucinations of my sibling calling to me? but they stopped before i really started looking into health stuff in general so i forgot about them and never brought them up anywhere. and now its just more to deal with i guess
blue tastes like raspberry. the artificial raspberry. one of the only good points about where i used to live is that it had SUCH good blue raspberry sherbet...
most beautiful thing seen: this is also a difficult one because my memory is bad. but i think my sibling's just... obvious improvement in how they felt after getting major gender-affirming surgery would definitely be up there
stupidest thing done: probably hiding all the physical/mental stress i was under from people (notably my mum) so i didnt cause them problems. in my defense my mum was very busy and people (teachers mostly) had already called me out on causing trouble by just trying to talk about things and failing because i had like. five different things affecting communication and one of them i literally only found out might apply to me like last week. and this was over a decade ago
stupidest thing seen/heard: i dont remember any legit stupid examples offhand so i will instead say stupidest (affectionate) and cite my fluffy dumb cat. he will go outside through the back door, circle around to the front, and meow plaintively to be let in because he forgot the back door exists. he's so good
hyperfixation song: there's quite a few, but one consistent one is changing me from persona q
profile picture: the pokemon line stickers make very good avatars. username: demifiend from the Demi-fiend of smt3 nocturne, and cruithne is a name i picked up from a celestial object thought to be earth's second moon for a while
dream career as a child: i cannot remember enough of childhood to answer this. for college it was game development though
dream career as an adult: honestly i just want to like. help out in a library and be tech support and entertain kids with nice hats and also draw stuff. i got. multiple disabilities hecking me up so
cilantro: either i haven't ever had it or it doesnt taste like soap, that's all i got
banned from a location: i don't think so? well high school kicked me out of sixth form if that counts because i was struggling to keep up (it's almost like i had a bunch of undiagnosed difficulties or something.....) and they didnt want to actually do their job of helping. but i was still ok to go on campus if i needed to pick my sibling up or something
cursed food: salted carrot sticks. it adds extra cronch
trans rights: Trans Rights Heckers. but also trans wrongs. go spraypaint blahaj on government buildings.
i. dont really like tagging people in stuff like this so if you're reading this consider yourself being offered a tag if you so want it
“I just came from r/196” ask game
Saw another post. I think I should invite y'all to one of our longstanding traditions. Answer the questions then tag 10 (or more) people. I'll go first.
Name? Frankie
Pronouns and gender? he/they/it, transmasc
Sexuality? Lesbian
Country? USA
Top 5 fandoms? Bungou Stray Dogs, Cosmere, All for the Game, Fundiesnark (not a series but I'm too deep in it to not consider it a fandom), .....the tornado fandom? (they're my special interest)
What is your Most forbidden snack? The preserved bones at the Atlanta Bodies Exhibition. They looked so crunchy...
Would you pet a bug? If it's big enough, it is pettable.
Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class. I like to drive around rural areas and photograph old, sometimes abandoned locations in the dead of night. I have been literally chased out of towns by foot and by car on two separate occasions. The second time this happened, "See You Again" by Miley Cyrus came up on shuffle and that's the soundtrack my friend and I tore out of town to. Also every "guy" I've dated except for my most recent ex (who has big egg energy) is a lesbian now.
What does the color blue taste like? Creme brulee
What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? The appalachian mountains of Tennessee in the middle of summer. There's kudzu everywhere. On the backroads, there were several old, dilapidated Baptist churches barely hanging to the side of the mountain. I wonder how many of them were still in use.
What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? Short version: my friend's house almost got broken into by this dude who'd been stalking us for months while we were home alone. Instead of calling the cops, we decided to confront him with a bow and arrow (me), a hatchet, and a baseball bat (him). The plan was that if it went badly, we would simply throw his corpse into one of the many lakes in the neighborhood and let the alligators eat his remains (this was Florida). Why? Because we were afraid of having our home-alone privileges revoked. Luckily for us all, the guy fucked off and we never saw him again.
Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say? My ex thought that Jackalopes were real. Also, a nurse I was doing rotations with apparently thought that "Witness Protection" was for Jehovah's Witnesses.
Hyperfixation song? Young Enough + Bleach by Charly Bliss
Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username? Profile pic; I'm transmasc and I'm currently obsessed with TriStamp. Username; It was my fake internet name when I was like 13. I won't change it because I want my mutuals to recognize me, and because I do have a viral post associated with this name.
Dream career as a child? Doctor (funnily enough I'm now in nursing school)
Dream career as an adult? Professional Jester. Not a comedian. I just want to be some weird little guy who dresses silly and you can hire me to roast your boss at work parties.
Thoughts on cilantro? Delicious
Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why? I honestly can't remember? Probably... but in recent memory I've mainly banned people from places.
What is your cursed food combination? Pineapple on a hotdog with grilled onions. It Slaps.
Trans rights? TRANS RIGHTS
Tagging: @rocket-mankoi @mostlymarco @atleast8courics @jazzlike39 @gemsweater72 @limbobilbo @ameliaaltare @redcrane112 @theoneofwhomisblue @twinkenjoyer @theultimatecarp and anyone else who wants to jump on
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yslkook · 4 years ago
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#corporate synergy (9)
#corporate masterlist summary: you’re making many strides- this month brings new work milestones and new personal milestones. after a night with new friends, you find yourself in jungkook’s arms. word count: ~5.6k warnings: cursing, alcohol/drinking, suggestive content in the form of making out, grinding, this is an 18+ story dont forget a/n: ENJOYYYY and thank you to @cutechim​ for your endless support <33
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Work isn’t so bad in the coming weeks, you quickly decide. When you have colleagues around you who have become your genuine friends, it becomes a little more bearable to tolerate your ungrateful boss.
Even his snide comments haven’t been able to bring you down as of late. 
Your midday pick me up often comes in the form of lunch with either or including Jin, Namjoon, Sana and Jungkook and whoever they bring along.
Jungkook. Since you had stopped by his apartment when he had been sick, something definitely shifted between you both. If he had been running through your mind before, he was a near constant presence in your mind now. This crush of yours has morphed into something unrecognizable and unfamiliar to you. It scares you, the intensity and the suddenness of it.
But your fear is outweighed by your affections for him, and it’s something you find yourself wanting to embrace. The instinct to run, to bury it and ignore it had reared its head more than once after you had made the bold move to visit Jungkook in his own apartment.
Well. It was bold by your standards. Spontaneity doesn’t come easily to you, but it seems like Jungkook has you breaking your own unwritten rules. And he doesn’t even know. He doesn’t even know how your lips break into an easy smile when his name lights up your phone or how sending a good night text to him is your favorite part of your night routine.
When you had told Jin that you had visited Jungkook when he was sick in his apartment, even Jin couldn’t mask his surprise-
“You brought the guy soup?! Are you kidding me?! What if he was a murderer? Then what? I can’t believe I’d have to explain your murder to Grandma. Why would you put that burden on me? I’m too hot for that-”
“Seokjin!” You shriek through laughter, “You’re being so dramatic for no reason! Besides Jungkook is too soft to be a murderer-”
“Oh, well, I don’t know if I trust your credibility anymore. You’re the one who’s in so deep that you went to visit the man when he was sick,” Jin says, “Though, that’s very cute and domestic of you to do so. Did you bring him Grandma’s galbitang?”
“Obviously.”
“Damn. Now I’m not the only one who gets the galbitang treatment, huh?” Jin says knowingly, “You’re a sucker.”
Despite your protests, you know he’s mostly right.
Jungkook stopping by your cubicle during quiet, uneventful afternoons is more often than not. Or, you find yourself in his cubicle with two cups of steaming hot tea. One for you and one for him. Sometimes you both gossip in whispers about the members of your respective teams or do some impromptu work on the submissions project. Or you both just talk- about anything that comes to mind.
It’s so easy to laugh with him, to tease him like you would a friend, and to look at him like you would a lover-
“I heard there’s gonna be a big re-org by the end of this quarter,” Jungkook whispers, as if it’s a secret. And honestly, it probably is.
“Oh? Which little birdie told you that? Namjoon? Or Yunho-”
“Namjoon did, but you can’t tell anyone,” Jungkook insists.
“You’re lucky I don’t have a big mouth,” You roll your eyes.
“You’re lucky I trust you,” Jungkook shoots back immediately, a mischievous sparkle in his eyes. Your heart is suddenly in your throat but you maintain an unaffected facade.
“You think people will lose their jobs?” You whisper incredulously, “Re-orgs are so hard to stomach sometimes…”
“I hope not,” Jungkook sighs, “We’re all just cogs in the wheel that is capitalism, huh?”
“Well. I’m glad we’re cogs in this shitty wheel together, Kook.”
And there had even been several times when you had both found yourselves at the gym together, a happy coincidence as it was. Jungkook had felt much more comfortable with correcting your form, and seeing him sweaty with strands of dark hair plastered to his forehead only sent a string of lewd thoughts into your empty head.
If you nearly dropped a dumbbell from your sweaty grip onto your chest as he spotted for you because you caught a glimpse of Jungkook’s flushed cheeks and his easy smile directed only at you, then that was your own business.
And to your surprise, you’ve been getting meeting invites on your calendar from Hae-ri, the head of business development, herself. You’ve always hated networking, but Hae-ri had seemed so genuine when you met her in Tokyo that part of you wanted to maintain that relationship with her.
For some reason, it seemed that she had taken an interest in you. You’ve had many quick chats in her office or virtually if she’s traveling. You’ve come to think of her as a mentor, even if it’s only been a few months of getting to know her. The initial awkwardness you felt, the need to fill in the gaps of conversation had slowly washed away the more you talked to her. Your conversations mostly consisted of work topics- things that you found curious, or things you felt could be improved. You always leave her with a small idea or a thought to chew on until next time. But surprisingly (at least to you), she starts asking you for your perspective and your advice on challenges that she’s having.
It gives you something to ponder about, something that you haven’t allowed yourself to ponder about since you left school and took this job.
It makes you wonder if you’re meant for more. For so long, it felt like you were only surviving. Only trying to keep your head above water. But if you’ve learned anything over the last few months, it’s that it’s okay and encouraged to want and seek more.
High risk, high reward. But with high risk, comes the potential for things to fail. With high risk, comes the potential to be hurt and let down. Is it worth it? Is the journey worth it?
You think it might be, for how good you’ve been feeling lately (for the most part).
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Yuna had quickly brought you into her own friend group, as if you’ve known her and Yuri, Seohyun and Sooyoung for as long as they’ve known each other. You’ve never had a group of close friends like them, let alone a group of girlfriends.
Now, you knew what people meant when they said that every woman needs a group of women around them. It hadn’t made sense to you before, but now… Now it does. And you’re not especially close with them, but they make you feel good. They make you laugh and they make you want to be close with them.
It’s an unfamiliar feeling, but it’s a feeling that gives you those familiar first date jitters.
So when Yuna had asked you to join them for a Friday night out, your first instinct was to hesitate and decline. But the more you started thinking about it, the more you found yourself wanting to go and enjoy a night out with new friends. And you had asked Jungkook for his opinion-
“Should I go? I mean, I don’t want to like… Be the pity invite. They’re all already so close…” You trail off a little nervously, itching at your chin.
“Being a pity invite fuckin’ sucks,” Jungkook agrees, “But it sounds like Yuna invites you because she genuinely wants you there. I don’t think she would’ve asked you to come if she didn’t want you there.”
“But what if it’s only because of Jin-”
“Even if it is only because of Jin,” Jungkook says, “Does it matter? Besides, you talk about things outside of Jin, right?”
“Yeah-”
“Just go. You’ll have fun, sweetheart. I know you will.”
You contemplate sending a picture of your outfit to Jungkook as you get ready- and why did you want to send a picture to him- for what? You don’t know. But you do know. You look good, you know you do- with the silky navy blue of your blouse a pretty contrast to your skin and your makeup done meticulously well.
In the end, you get distracted by Yuna’s texts that she’s arrived at your home. You told Grandma you’d likely be staying the night with Yuna. Grandma had only looked at you fondly, with unsaid pride in the lines of her eyes and her smile. You had made her promise to call you if anything happened, to which she promptly shooed you out of the door and into Yuna’s car.
Yuna grins at you and helps you put your bag in the backseat- which you really don’t need help with. But you appreciate the gesture anyway.
And so the night begins.
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It’s three tequila shots, half a glass of soju and some water later before you realize that you’re well on your way into the warmth that comes with being drunk. 
Your lips are permanently etched into a smile, laughter tumbling out of your throat easily and genuinely as you stand with Yuna and her friends in her apartment. Her apartment itself is so very her- very colorful and vibrant, with baby blue throw pillows over a pink couch and a mint green rug. Her apartment is relaxing and inviting, much like her. It’s only fitting.
You had learned about Yuri, Seohyun and Sooyoung- how they had known each other since college but Seohyun and Yuri hadn’t really connected with the group until after graduation. When they had all moved to Seoul for work. There is clearly a deep, understanding bond between the four of them and you’re benignly envious of it. But you don’t let it get you down- not the way it might have before.
You’re also happy that you and Yuna can get along outside of Seokjin. If you’re being honest, that was one of your main worries. That you would need Jin to act as a buffer for you and Yuna. But Yuna brings you into their tight knit circle with her innate warmth, and you want to feel it, too.
“Pick your poison, babes,” Sooyoung grins wickedly at you, standing behind Yuna’s kitchen island. Behind all of her bottles, laid out neatly for your consumption.
“I think you can venture a guess,” You say, handing her your cup.
“Tequila,” Yuna and Sooyoung say together.
“Wow. You know me so well.”
Sooyoung clearly has a heavy hand- you wince when you sip your mixed drink but you’re no quitter.
“Cheers,” Yuri says, “Cheers to us, and cheers to the fountain of youth, in the form of tequila and soju.”
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The rest of the night goes in a blur of dancing, loose limbs and close touches. You can very clearly remember sending selfies and videos to Jungkook, who instantly replied with heart eyes and words that made your face heat up in the crowded bar.
“Who you texting,” Yuna says, wrapping her arms around your shoulders so you’re facing her. She holds you close and you have to steady yourself by holding her waist. 
“Jungkook,” You say quickly, “Just wanted to say hi.”
Yuna looks at you knowingly but says nothing, only dancing with you. Yuri joins you from behind, holding your own hips tightly. You sway with them, throwing your head back happily and singing along to the song blasting on the speakers.
Your head feels hazy, but you feel happy. 
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“G’nna call Jin,” Yuna slurs to you, “T’ pick us up-”
“Wanna see Kook,” You say stubbornly, already pulling your phone out. You have to close one eye to see the words on your phone screen, and even then, it’s kind of blurry. 
You call Jungkook, or at least you think you do. But he answers, a sweet sound of your name ringing in your ears.
“JK,” You breathe into your phone, as if he can hear you over all of the noise. 
“Hi, sweetheart,” Jungkook says smoothly, “Having fun-”
“Jin’s comin’ t’pick us up,” You cut across him, leaning against the wall for some stability. You can’t tell if you feel this weightless because of your drunkenness or because of him. “But… I don’t wanna g’home with them. Wanna go home with you.”
“You want me to come pick you up?” Jungkook asks. Anticipation and then happiness blooms in his chest, that you want to see him. 
“Yeah,” You reply instantly, “Wanna see you. Miss you.”
“You saw me a few hours ago, at work,” Jungkook teases and laughs when he hears your noise of protest.
“But I wanna see you,” You’re on the verge of whining, and you’re not above it.
“You’re obsessed with me,” Jungkook says, unable to keep the smile off of his face, “I’ll be there in twenty.”
Jungkook has a small smile on his face the entire drive to the bar.
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Jin and Jungkook both arrive at around the same time, parking a few blocks away from the noisy bar and hopping out quickly.
Jin looks at Jungkook as if he is transparent, and it unnerves him. Jin says your name first and then, “You’re here for her, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, she called me,” Jungkook says, not backing down from the obvious heat in Jin’s eyes.
Jin looks at him, long and hard. Despite the bustle of people around them on the busy street, Jungkook knows what this is. It’s one friend, a brother really, looking after another.
Jin claps his hand over Jungkook’s shoulder, and the tension immediately evaporates as if it had never existed. 
“Let’s go get our women, huh? Jin says with a grin.
Jungkook lets out a sigh of relief.
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Jungkook sees you before you see him- your head tipped back in laughter, alcohol slick in your eyes and you nearly stumble but maintain your balance by holding Sooyoung’s shoulder for stability.
You look so pretty, as you always do. But tonight, you look relaxed and carefree and it looks nice on you.
And you sharply turn your head to him when Yuna whispers in your ear with a smug grin of her own and your eyes connect with his. You take him in unabashedly, leaving the conversation you were in to be next to Jungkook.
He meets you halfway, threading through the few people standing in between you both. 
Your smile is blinding, full of flowers and tequila- of course, you nearly lose your balance trying to get to him as fast as possible. Luckily, he’s close enough to you that he can grab your waist before you fall on your ass.
It seems that almost happens all too often in his presence.
“It appears,” You murmur, “That I’ve almost fallen for you.”
“Yeah, how many times do I have to catch you before you bust your ass?” Jungkook says, eyes dancing and it’s the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen.
“A million and one,” You reply. You’ve had plenty of water from when you had called Jungkook to now, and while the tipsy haze has begun to lift, you still feel the edge of alcohol clouding your mind.
“Cheesy,” Jungkook rolls his eyes. He doesn’t mind the way your hands slide up his arm, as if reassuring yourself that he’s right there. That his hands are really circling your waist and that he had really come to pick you up.
You wrap your arms around him for a wordless hug and sway for a moment in his arms. He smells nice and he feels safe. He tightens his arms around you, wrapping himself around you almost completely.
Your heart flutters at how nice he feels, his chest slotted against yours.
“I’m glad you called me,” Jungkook murmurs, only for you to hear. 
“Glad you picked up,” You reply sincerely, meeting his eyes, “And glad you’re here.”
You shine in his arms, bright, bold and beaming. You surprise him again and press your thumbs to his cheeks, before pecking his cheek quickly.
“Let me get you a water and then we’ll go,” Jungkook murmurs, his hand drifting to the small of your back. The satin-y material of your shirt is thin in his fingers- where is your jacket? Had you even brought one?
“Okay, Bambi,” You reply dreamily. You lean against him at the bar, head on his shoulder as you both wait. You tighten your grip on his bicep and he moves his hand to circle your waist and pull you into his side. He likes the way you slot next to him, your quiet heat something he doesn’t know if he’ll ever get used to.
The sparkles in his doe eyes never seem to fade away when he’s with you. Your head is filled with nothing but his reddened pout, the way his hair falls into his eyes, and the way his palm feels on you. His lips move as he speaks to the bartender but all you can feel are the absent circles his thumb makes on your hip.
Your throat goes dry, and the urge to cling to him and hold him close, for you and your eyes only is too great. The man contains a universe in those eyes, and you always want to gravitate towards the magnetic pull of his axis. The overwhelming urge to kiss him washes over you in gentle waves, the desire igniting your veins. 
But you wait. In your tequila-addled mind, you decide to wait. Not here, not now. 
“Here, princess,” Jungkook says easily, the pet name slipping out without him meaning to. You gasp in surprise with wide eyes and your cheeks light up. Something in your belly is satiated by that and Jungkook knows it.
Interesting. You never fail to surprise him.
“Thank you,” You mumble, “Honey?”
Jungkook’s heart skips a beat and he squeezes your waist in approval. You smile at him, a little bashfully and god, does he want to kiss you. He wants to kiss the gloss right off of your lips, he wants to taste the tequila on your tongue. He just wants you.
But not here. Not now.
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You’re trying your best to not be handsy in the car. What is it about a man with one hand on the wheel? Specifically, what is it about Jungkook, with one hand on the wheel and the other dwarfed over yours in your lap?
His hands were big. That much you knew. But having his hand in yours like this, encased over yours- they just seemed that much bigger. The feeling of his hand in yours sends sparks through your skin. You melt with his touch, with the soothing sound of his voice.
You have to ask him to repeat himself more than once, because you’re too busy enjoying the feeling of his hand in yours.
He chuckles to himself, already aware of your apparent distraction. The tips of his ears are warm and his belly is fluttering. But he’s not ready- when Jungkook parks his car and helps you out of the passenger seat, you don’t let his hand go. Instead, you bring his knuckles to your lips and kiss it softly.
“Thank you,” You mumble, meeting his eyes, “For taking care of me, Kook.”
Jungkook doesn’t let go of your hand after that, not in the lobby, not in the elevator, not even as he unlocks his door. Not even as he gives you water and a snack to chew on. You watch him with hearts in your eyes, looking at him as if he’s hung the moon and stars for you.
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“D’you have clothes? I left mine at Yuna’s,” You ask once your face is freshly washed. Despite your difference in skincare routines, you had not so secretly stolen some of his cleanser and moisturizer. 
You suppose you’ll have to skip on toner tonight.
“No, I don’t, even though you’re standing in my bedroom,” Jungkook rolls his eyes and you swat his shoulder.
“You can just say yes-”
“It’s more fun to stress you out,” Jungkook says and rummages around for a shirt and some shorts for you to wear. He pulls out a freshly washed pair of shorts and an oversized grey t-shirt for you, but you’re smirking at him deviously.
“What,” Jungkook says flatly, “Why are you looking at me like that-”
“I don’t want those clothes,” You murmur, mischief swirling in your eyes, “I want the shirt you’re wearing.”
“You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you,” Jungkook says, hoping you don’t catch the stammer in his voice. He moves closer to you, curling a hesitant hand around your cheek. You lean into his touch, tilting your head just a fraction and hum at the warmth of his palm against your heated skin.
He pulls away just for a second to peel his shirt off of his torso and despite your bravado from earlier, you’re not prepared to be met by his bare chest or the full breadth of his tattoos.
In fact, you squeeze your eyes shut to cope with the sudden sight of his beautiful, golden skin and the lines of corded muscle. 
“If I didn’t know you, I’d be offended,” Jungkook’s voice comes from right in front of you. He puts the fresh shirt on and his hand resumes it's comforting place on your cheek.
“Shut up,” You muster out, “Turn around, Jeon.”
And he does, hearing your pants drop to the floor, along with the rest. You neatly fold your clothes and place them on his chair before changing into his clothes. And Jungkook hears you inhale deeply- his clothes smell so much like him, the scent of his cologne heavy in the minuscule fibers.
“You can turn around now,” You mumble softly, “Honey.”
If Jungkook thought he was ready to see you looking at him with tired eyes and a tired smile wearing his clothes, he was kidding himself. He won’t deny that he’s daydreamed about it before- seeing you in his clothes, in his bed, in his arms, in his arms, in his arms…
And now you are. Even if you’re a little tipsy. He can’t wait to kiss you, feel the mold of your lips against his, feel how they slot against him- but not now, not tonight.
“Jungkook,” You say, tugging your hand in his. He doesn’t miss the way your eyes are still mischievous. “Should I sleep on the couch? Is it untidy of us to sleep in the same bed?”
“Haven’t even taken me out on a date yet and you’re already trying to bed me, huh?” 
“It didn’t take much, Kook,” You laugh.
“No,” Jungkook says, “I suppose it didn’t.” 
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You’ve never been this close, this open to anyone. It unnerves you a little, even in your foggy mind. But maybe not as much as it would normally. 
You feel like you can just be with Jungkook. Without questioning it, wondering if it’s right or wrong. And you think he might feel the same way, too.
You’re “sleeping” on your side, facing away from him. Jungkook notices how rigid you are, as if you don’t know what to do. He also knows you’re still awake, even if you pretend not to be.
He touches your shoulder tentatively, reassuringly. “Hey,” Jungkook murmurs.
You hum in acknowledgement, feeling like a live wire about to explode. What do you want? What are you doing?
Nothing. It’s so easy with him. What are you so nervous for?
Jungkook can read your thoughts easily, your body language a practiced poem to him. “You alright? Is this too much?” Jungkook murmurs, pulling his hand away.
You miss his warmth already. No, you realize. It’s not too much… You want more. You want more, you want everything he’ll give you.
But he misunderstands, taking your silence for hesitation. You feel him begin to slide off of the bed, likely to take the floor or the couch. But you turn abruptly, shooting up and grasping his forearm tightly.
“No,” You say softly, “Don’t go, Jungkook. Stay with me.”
“You sure?” Jungkook hesitates, “Whatever you’re comfortable with, I’m comfortable with.”
“Yeah,” You breathe, “I’m sure.”
And so he settles in his bed once more, and you still sense apprehension radiating off of him in waves. 
“Are you sure?” You murmur, turning to face him. You’re close enough to him that you can see the count of his long eyelashes fanning his cheeks. Maybe you’ve rushed into this, whatever this is. Before you can spiral down that train of thought, Jungkook cups your cheek and your breath hitches.
“I’m sure,” Jungkook says, his cheeks tinted a dusky red, “I… I like seeing you like this. In my clothes, in my bed.”
“I like seeing you like this, too,” You whisper, feeling a little shy. But you return his gentle caress with a warm hand over his chest. Your touch sends happy little shockwaves pulsing through him, and he wants to chase that feeling with you.
“Thank you,” You whisper, somehow even softer, “For taking care of me. I probably interrupted your night...” You shift closer to him, plucking the courage to allow the press of your chest to his and to gently run your fingers through his soft hair.
More shockwaves.
Jungkook resists the urge to say what he really wants to say. Instead, he gives you a blinding smile, one that has you smiling back. “No, there’s no interruption. There’s only you.”
The sheer conviction of his words leaves your entire body buzzing and your face aflame. You’re not sure of many things, but you’re sure of this-
“I’m gonna kiss you,” You mumble sleepily, “Tomorrow, I’m gonna kiss you.”
And somehow, with that declaration, you fall asleep with your head tucked on his chest and he’s left with a small smile on his face.
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Jungkook is awake before you. It’s a cloudy morning, shades of grey hidden behind his blinds. It makes him want to curl into you, just how he was moments before. He had woken up to his arm loose around your waist, his chest around your back. You were so warm, so pretty in his clothes. So unassumingly his, if you’d have him.
He peels away from you hastily. His face immediately heats up, he’s certain the tips of his ears are red from his proximity to you. 
Specifically, your ass is pressed into his half hard cock, and he can’t bring himself to pull away. Not when the sweet image of your ass swallowing his cock is a previous fantasy that is so close to becoming a reality.
You squirm in your sleep, or at least, he thinks you’re asleep. You sigh lightly before getting comfortable and Jungkook knows he’s in trouble. With you, he’s always in trouble.
Your hand comes forward to your face and you rub your eyes tiredly. Jungkook’s throat goes dry- what should he do? Feign sleep? Roll away from you? Or-
You make the decision for him though, and lift your hand behind you to feel around for him. A satisfied sigh escapes your lips when you find his chest, and then a soft murmur. A complaint.
“What?” Jungkook chokes, “I can’t hear you.”
“Come closer,” You mumble, your voice hoarse. It sounds like thick, golden honey and Jungkook wants a little taste. He envelopes you, encasing you with his legs and his arms around your waist. Your hand drops on top of his much larger one and you sigh dreamily.
“Jungkook,” You say, not really sure where you were going with that train of thought, because the warmth of his body against yours feels too good to do anything but sink into.
Jungkook nearly purrs into your neck.
“Good morning, princess,” Jungkook says. God, he wants to get used to this.
“Morning,” You reply, threading your fingers through his and squeezing. You push back against him, grinning to yourself when you feel him freeze up behind you. He holds your hip tightly, to stop you from moving.
Jungkook is only a man, only a man with a giant crush that he knows you reciprocate.
“What are you doing,” Jungkook asks breathily.
“I’m just lying here,” You say innocently and grind into him. Jungkook takes the bait, of course he does, and melds his hips to yours. A sharp exhale tickles your ears when he rocks into you lightly. It only lasts a few moments, a funny, sweet feeling swirling in your belly. It spreads to your toes- it’s all because of him, because of his touch. His touch sends a warm buzz all over.
You never want to let it go.
“You remember what you said last night?” Jungkook asks breathily, his lips nearly pressed to your neck. Remnants of your perfume along with the scent of his sheets lingers on your skin.
“I said a lotta things last night,” You tease, reaching behind to thread your fingers through his hair lazily. He groans, bucking his hips just a little faster. A breathy moan escapes from your throat and you’d be a little more embarrassed if you weren’t enjoying how he felt around you so much.
“You did,” Jungkook hums, “You were really talkative-”
“I remember,” You say and finally turn in his arms to get a good look at him. His cheeks and the tips of his ears are tinted a pretty pink. But your gaze immediately lands on his eyes, his beautiful, big, brown eyes. The same eyes that look at you with something similar to magic in them.
“Said I was gonna kiss you,” You continue, “So ‘m gonna kiss you. Can I? Can I kiss you?”
He nods eagerly, eyes wide and lips parted in anticipation. He wonders if you know how long he’s thought about kissing you, about feeling those surely soft lips against his.
And now his dreams with his dream girl are coming true. You press your lips to his, almost bashfully, and gasp into his mouth when he grabs your waist as if he can’t get enough of you. And he can’t- he can’t believe this is real, you in his arms, you kissing him like this.
It’s soft, it’s magnetic, it’s you.  Your skin is soft under his fingertips as his hand shifts to cradle your cheek. Your hand is fisted in his shirt before you wrap your arms around his head and push your fingers into his hair hurriedly.
Your hands are everywhere, trying to hold as much of him as you can. You can’t get enough either- the warm heat of his mouth is too enticing for you to let go of. You’re on a cloud, in a daydream all on your own. Filled with nothing but pastel stars and dark skies and him.
Jungkook devours you, slowly, surely and all at once. He slips his tongue into your mouth and you sigh, swallowing his own moan. Jungkook holds you close but presses your back on the bed and hovers over you when he pulls away slightly to catch a breath.
But you pull him back towards you impatiently by the collar of his shirt and press your lips to his. Jungkook re-centers you, slowing your impatience and kisses you languidly as if you have all of the time in the world to learn the soft lines of his equally soft lips. His name comes out of your mouth in a breathy whisper- he’s on his knees to hear you say his name like that as many times as he can.
Jungkook pulls away for a longer breath, peering down at you with wide eyes and bitten lips. 
“J-Jungkook,” You say with a splitting grin. It just feels right, it feels natural with him. “That was fun. I wanna do that again... baby.”
He laughs, eyes crinkling and honest and it makes your heart flutter. Jungkook presses his lips to your forehead, your cheeks, your chin, your nose- and in between you laugh airily, wrapping your arms around him to keep him as close to you as you can. Wrapping your legs around his tiny waist, you keep him molded to your chest.
He loses himself in you, in the gentle but firm caress against his heated skin. 
“Your hands,” You murmur with a smirk, “Your hands are so big…”
Jungkook snorts and rolls his eyes, nipping at your neck playfully. “Shut up,” He says, voice muffled.
“You’re really hot,” You say a little more seriously, “Like…  really, really hot.”
“Thank you,” Jungkook says almost shyly.
“So you agree? You think you’re really pretty?”
You screech with laughter when he playfully pinches your waist. “You’re really pretty,” He repeats to you, “Like… really, really pretty.”
“Oh, I know,” You grin and cup his cheeks for a quick kiss. You won’t deny the way your heart pounds at his quick, genuine declaration. You wrap an arm around his broad shoulders, rubbing the expanse of his back and enjoying the feel of his thick muscles under your fingertips.
“Kiss me again,” You demand softly, “You’re good at that. We’re good at that.”
And so he does, he kisses you softly, deeply and pulls peals of laughter and soft moans of his name from your throat and into the minuscule crevices between both of you.
Jungkook wonders if his past self would’ve ever dreamed of this moment- of his dream girl in his bed, wearing his clothes, kissing him as if he was the sweetest nectar to grace your lips.
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tags: @koo-zy​
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kaiwritess · 4 years ago
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hii love! i think i have an emergency request? or idk really lol kill me anywaays, what would Daichi, Kuroo, Bokuto and Sugawara do if they found little notes in their so's phone/phonecase/wallet which are telling them not to eat, starve themselves and stuff like that? (1/4)
TW: EATING DISORDERS; CONTINUE WITH CAUTION
+ idk, i just feel my mindset going back to these kinda things and i know its bad but at the same time i dont want to stop, because i feel like i am in control and i dont want others to butt in and tell me to eat and stay fat, but then again, i would love to hear it from someone so that i would know that someone cares about me (2/4)
+ but i lowkey know that no one actually cares about me and im not important to anyone, so all i do is looking at myself in the mirror and crying and seeking comfort from fictional characters who would probably think that i am ugly and fat and hate me too oops🤷‍♀️ (3/4)
+ and i am sorry for dumping all of this on you, i promise i dont want to make you feel sorry for me or anything, it just came out? finally i could actually send it to someone instead of writing it into my journal, it lowkey made me feel better. okay so, if this triggers you, then please, feel free to ignore me, i know what this shit feels like, and the last thing i want to do is make you feel bad, seriously. and i am also sorry if seemed to be rude, i swear i know my manners, just not right now:(
author’s note: okay first things first, you don’t ever need to apologize for venting! i’m honored that you’re opening up to me, and it truly means a lot. i’m sorry this took some time to write, and in the end, this was more like how the guys would react, and less of what they would do, if that makes any sense. i’m certain that all the hq characters would aid you with recovery. and i know we don’t know each other in real life, but i wanted to let you know how proud i am of you for staying so strong. times get rough, and the fact that you’re staying strong is amazing. i love u so much, and thank you again for opening up.
S/O Has Harmful Notes in Their Belongings
Daichi Sawamura, Kuroo Tetsurou, Bokuto Kotarou, and Sugawara Koushi
trigger warning: eating disorders
[DAICHI SAWAMURA]
Daichi was always wary about your behavior. He picked up the small hints you unintentionally left behind, like how you always found an excuse to skip a meal.
His worries significantly increased when he began to notice the small notes in your wallet. Sure, there was a possibility that it could’ve been a grocery list, but every time you opened your wallet and saw the note, he saw how sad your eyes got.
He found out about the whole thing after he got a hold of your wallet. You dropped it while walking, and his curiosity got the best of him. As soon as he read what was on the piece of paper, his heart plummeted.
Daichi tries to avoid confrontation, but in circumstances like this, it seems like confrontation is the only option. Although he tries to bring it up calmly, Daichi finds himself having a difficult time forming words. What could he say to make you feel better? How can he help you?
“What have you been hiding? These notes... how long have you been carrying them?” his voice cracks.
From then on, Daichi will be monitoring every meal, making sure you’re getting enough nutrients. Despite all his actions, he can’t help but feel so helpless...
[KUROO TETSUROU]
Like Daichi, Kuroo was always concerned about your appetite. It didn’t help how you always avoided restaurant dates or anything that had to do with food for that matter.
Nevertheless, he brushed it off as you having a small stomach, which is something understandable as Kenma also barely has an appetite.
One day as you were walking to the grocery store, Kuroo noticed that you were holding a piece of paper. When he questioned you about it, you said it was a “to-do list for school”.
Kuroo saw through your lies easily (lying to him is one of the hardest things to do in the world), and immediately called you out on it. “You’re lying to me, aren’t you. Let me see it,” he said firmly, taking the note out of your hands. He read over the words at least ten times, each time beating himself up for brushing off the red flags you left behind.
Oh man, this dude is going to feel so guilty. He’ll probably blame himself for not being able to help you when the signs were glaringly obvious. By now, you’re crying, angry about how he found out.
All Kuroo can think of is helping you, and that’s it. Nothing else. He pulls you in for a tight embrace, unable to stand how you were dealing with alone. He says softly in your ear, “I’m so, so sorry for not noticing before. Please let me help you.”
[BOKUTO KOTAROU]
It’s no secret that Bokuto can be utterly oblivious sometimes. However, through Akaashi’s influence, he found himself improving on picking up important signs.
At first, Bokuto didn’t think much of your “unusual habits”. There were many times where you checked your phone before eating something, but hey, doesn’t everyone do that?
It became a routine. Before every meal, you checked your phone, turning the screen away from everyone else as if you were hiding something.
He found out what you were hiding in the middle of a coffee date. Bokuto was sitting beside you, trying his best to hold his tongue before saying or doing something stupid. You checked your phone as usual, but this time, Bokuto’s overwhelming curiosity made him act without thinking.
“Hey, what’s on your phone?” he asked, leaning towards you. Before you were able to close the notes app, he caught a glimpse of one, very concerning phrase: “Don’t eat a lot, or you’ll regret it.”
Everything clicked for him; all the times you checked your phone before every meal, how you had an unusually small appetite, etc..
For the first time, Bokuto is speechless. His eyes are wide and his mouth was slightly agape. You didn’t know what to say, nor could you think of an excuse for what was on your notes. Before you could even stammer out a syllable, Bokuto looked at you dead in the eyes with a look of pain, and whispered, “Why?”
[SUGAWARA KOUSHI]
Sugawara isn’t a stranger to the red flags of eating disorders. His incredibly perceptive nature allows him to notice the signs you leave behind, like how you barely eat any of the meals he cooks.
His concerns were confirmed after finding about your disorder unintentionally. Sugawara was helping you clean up your room when he discovered a little note that escaped from your bag. After reading the words you wrote, he dropped the note with various intense emotions.
Immediately confronts you about it. “[Y/N], can we talk?”// “What’s this?” he shows you the note with trembling hands.
You knew you were unable to make up a lie, and so you confessed about everything that was going on. The tears kept flowing, and you were so ashamed that Sugawara found out. You knew how much it hurt him.
After you told him everything, he started crying as well. He’s so thankful you told him, but at the same time, Sugawara felt so... scared. He hated how you did this to yourself, yet Sugawara doesn’t know how to help you recover. There was no promise that you wouldn’t do it again in the future as well.
Dropping to your knees, you let out the sobs you tried to hold back. You thought he would be mad, so you were surprised when his thumb wiped your tears away.
“I promise I’ll help you through this. You will not be alone, okay? So please... please let me into your heart.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Thanks for reading!
- Kai
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multyfandoms-imagines · 4 years ago
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Got anything for the Army in Black when someone tries doing pseudo-attachment work in the form of being protected? (Like, they constantly seek out their "protection" just to let them out and talk with them)
Tho, doing such work also lower's Army's counter... So lets say it is around after you'd delt with whatever problem LC had
Protecting pink hearts (Army in Black + Reader "attachment work" headcanons)
•always keep in mind that you need to at least defeat some breaching Abnormality once for Army to not turn black. But also try to let out some more or less harmless creatures to not put yourself and others in danger
•Army, despite looking like soldiers, dont really support voilence if they can help the other way, and that way being healing and protecting <mostly you, since you deal with all of that> others
•when the danger is no more, Army has couple of minutes to spare. Thats where you need to speak up
•its really unusual for them to have someone talking with them after a fight, but they are ready to share whatever emotion you have! Be it grief for the lost lives or happiness of victory, Army can listen and support you
•but if you did something really impressive, like taking down a whole Aleph on your own, the excitement of witnessing the epic showdown will cause Army to start talking with you, complimenting your abbilities and skill!
•absolutely would talk about improving battle tactics and your training, improving everyone's capability to handle the situations like these easier and many more concerning about the safety of people surrounding them
•thats just Army in Black in a nutshel *shrug* cant help it :3
•if you would want to bring other topics, Army can listen to those as well, but also remind you that its better to talk about games, dresses and whatever comes on your mind in their room, right now, they are on a mission and it would be better to talk about the safety of people
•and you can talk to AiB in their room during Insight. Its not like its forbidden or anything. Plus, its you! They are happy to see you for sure and listen to your new stories you got from living in this place
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alvinsoffie · 4 years ago
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WORLD AIDS DAY 2020
December 1,
Theme: Each World AIDS Day focuses on a specific theme,  
This years theme is  “ Global Solidarity: Shared Responsibility.  ”
A look back at recent themes gives an interesting perspective:
2020    Global solidarity, shared responsibility
2019    Communities make the difference
2018    Know your status
2017    My health, my right
2016    Hands up for HIV prevention
Personal awareness and responsibilty, coupled with Community support is a reasonable paradigm for moving the HIV/AIDS agenda forward. Embracing this can go a far way to achieve the Goals for eliminating HIV
"  World AIDS Day remains as relevant today as it’s always been, reminding people and governments that HIV has not gone away. There is still a critical need for increased funding for the AIDS response, to increase awareness of the impact of HIV on people��s lives, a need to end stigma and discrimination and to improve the quality of life of people living with HIV."  
I am quoting directly from UNAIDS here.
A useful way to compare The two pandemics:  The 40 year old HIV/AIDS pandemic is the stately annual  journey around the sun.   COVID 19  is the 28 day cycle of the moon around the earth.  It's busy and frenzied. Because it shares the same stigmas, the same governments the same communities; the same inequities: we get a quicker look at the cycle of events. Some countries are already on their third wave, their third cycle or go round of COVID 19. And lessons are being learned at this heightened pace.
This crisis, This frenzied pace has become  a wake-up call, an opportunity to do things differently—better, and together. In many respects, the defeat of AIDS as a public health threat could depend on how the world responds to COVID-19.
Inasmuch as  COVID 19  has overshadowed the AIDS pandemic. we  DO note that some important lessons are being learned and that with care we can utilize  aspects of the COVID 19 response to improve HIV response and awareness.
Since you have invited a religous, I believe that you are expecting some insight from a Christian or Biblical perspective, and if this is so, I wouldn't want to disappoint you.
I did some homework, a little research,  and came away shocked!   In a sense  upset on learning that Stigma is the main deterent and source of frustration for battling and overcoming the effects of the AIDS epidemic.
As I looked at the seven types of stigma identified across a range of psychosocial situations, I came to realize that Stigma and its associates, prejudice and discrimination, are deeply ingrained responses that are applied outside of logic and wisdom, and where it surfaces can surprise you.
For the record the seven types of Stigma are:
PUBLIC,  SELF,  PERCEIVED, LABEL AVOIDANCE,  BY ASSOCIATION,  STRUCTURAL, AND HEALTH INDUSTRY PERSONEL.
All of these manifestation  of Stigma are being  experienced in real time in this COVID 19 pandemic. Lets not forget that persons were beaten for sneezing, an involuntary act. Fear and paranoia brings out the worst in us. Where they find common ground, the excesses are very dangerous.
To return to the global AIDS response;  At a time when 'untraceable equals untransmittable is a reality already, It is strange that there is no obvious reintegration mechanism for the persons who can overcome the virus. Right HERE, such a mechanism or protocol could provide a rallying point against the stigma PLHIV face. It becomes a powerful incentive to reach for; a goal to achieve. This is one crucial difference with COVID 19, Governments want us to get back to work so there are tests and procedures for reintegration for those who have caught and overcome the virus. The reintegration is SPONSORED because it is deemed vital.
The HIV scenario still has gender bias and sexuality and dominance issues that drive the stigma and after 40 years they remain well entrenched globally.
What does scripture have to offer here. Both Old and New Testaments recognize a variety of diseases that initially demand isolation and removal  from communal life. Numbers 12 points to a situation where Miriam the sister of Moses was punished with a skin disease and was out of the camp in isolation for 10 days. Even here there was a clear return to community. She wasn't cast into outer darkness with weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth!  Israel camped and waited  for her. Just a biblical reminder that it always help to have a celebrity or power person build empathy for your cause.
The reintegration mechanism was well defined. The priests were trained and were the ones assigned the inspection of the suffering person. Once satisfied of their rehabilitation, they offered the necessary sacrifice and were fully reintegrated into family and community.
In the Gospels where Jesus was remarkably open to transformative action on peoples behalf, his advise to cured lepers, to
" show yourself to the priests ...  
and  
" Offer the sacrifices Moses commanded"
leverages this generations old schema for returning the  renewed back to community. Jesus did not subvert the process: he co-opted the process for the validation that it offered. The process is Critical! In real life more than a few persons doing well on their regime fall away and do not return for medication and help. The validation process is aborted by some triggered fear and more than a few will end up dead; losing their lives.
   A lesson here is that education doesnt always defeat prejudice. In fact it can provide seemingly plausible justification for discrimination.  This is why discrete access to health care for PLHIV is a necessity. Thank God for JASL.
   The Label Avoidance Stigma is the most insiduous of the seven. It is the one that keeps the infected person from seeking help. in your community or elsewhere. They know full well that bush have ears and if you are seen in Mocho or Portland or Mandiville at a clinic the rumour mill will grind and your issues will be publicised. They keep quiet and die quieter still. I have seen it up close and it hurts my heart every time I am faced with it.  Let me say it again;  Thank God for JASL  
Sadly, you are as likely to hear a pastor or preacher condemn the sick and declare God's judgment rather than provide access to care and counselling and in hospitals one has to deal with health professionals whose personal biases become stumbling blocks to personal healthcare services..some share unethically, the details of their patients, furthering stigma and discrimination  ...   very well documented.
If the church would follow Its Lord's instructions. If it would extend itself to speak for the voiceless
Someone came to Jesus for healing and the discussion began:  'Lord, If you choose you can make me whole'.  Jesus said,  'I DO Choose!'  If our churches would follow Jesus and choose to facilitate health and wholeness, a lot could change.
Church could stand with or stand up for  the sick especially PLHIV/AIDS.  it could do a lot to counter stigma, to counter the whispered inuendos that is Stigma by Association. Stigma by Association is the one that kills community support for the needy. It is the one that ties you to the presumed sexual preferences and activities of the persons you are inclined to help.  
Churches could build support for members and persons who are HIV positive, but who would dare share their status with the brothers or sisters in church. Very few keep secrets, fewer still, exhibit compassion. We need radical Christianity of the leave all and follow Jesus variety.
Returning to the bigger stage,  the theme Global solidarity, shared responsibility invites us to revisit our relationships and the activities they engender. Global solidarity invites us to explore the Global response and align ourselves with projects and activities that we are able to support. There are a plethora of them and myriad best practices scenarios waiting for our implementation.
One important feature of World Aids Day is the memorialization of the dead. Given the early stigma and circumstances of dying,  many persons have not been properly remembered and closure is still eluding some families who have lost loved ones to  HIV/AIDS.
The opportunity to come out and name them and remember them is hugely therapeutic. This is something that the Church does well.   Catholicism provides a liturgy on All Saints Day, November 1 for the memorialization of our dead. We do it systematically and we know the benefits of it. We light the votive candle, we pray for those we love, and we ask God in his Love and Mercy to deal kindly with them.
There is a ministry here for churches. There is a place where we can quietly exercise the gift of presence as in grief counselling and just be there for those who need us. There is a place for a prophetic voice that can stop the slander and inuendo by its forthright affirmation of the Person living with HIV as a full and complete human being, bearing the image of GOD.  
Even in death, the stigma continues and the cause of death for the death certificate can be problematic for family members.  To remove Stigma is to open up the resources freely and fully for those who need it. This day must come sooner rather than later.  these are difficult times, make no mistake. But we can make a difference if we try a little bit harder.
 Shared Responsibility brings us back to Genesis and Cain's question  ' Am I my brother'e keeper?' Yes!  Yes we are.  God requires an answer of each of us. We are social creatures We need each other for Fulness of living.  We will need to develop more programs that bring real benefits to people living witH HIV
My word of encouragement for PLHIV/AIDS is simple:  Keep the faith. HIV is no longer a death sentence. Serious progress has been made and you can access a good life right here, right now. Your Life is precious! Dont throw it away! Do NOT let pride or shame rob you of health and family, joy and accomplishments. Still dream...  Most things are still possible if you believe and persevere.
Do the right things for yourself. There is now legal recourse to some forms of discrimination. Fight your battle for your life and find support for your cause along the way.  Life is Precious.... DON'T give up! Fight Fight   Fight!
With discipline and determination, the way things are going,  you might actually outlive some of your detractors.
Here I want to quote and close with Minister of State in the Ministry of Health and Wellness, Juliet Cuthbert-Flynn,
“Whether as funding partners, technical informants for policy design and programme implementation, or as medical workers serving people living with HIV and AIDS at the community level, we need to have all hands on deck." the Observer November  20
I endorse All hands on Deck! The world can  and must do better regarding the AIDS pandemic. We must remove the strictures and structures that maintain stigma and discrimination in all its forms.
I endorse all hands on deck and hope to see church and state join together to do the right thing for signicant numbers of our citzens who need our help
I endorse All hands on deck to design and build reintegration protocols and mechanisms for those on the margins right now. they dont need to be there!
I endorse all hands on deck if these hands are tender loving hands, desiring to nurture and to care for those in need.   We have had enough of the finger pointing sleight of hand deception > I'm just saying:
I endorse all hands on deck in the response from governments, NGOs and  Communities  acting globally and locally.  It is my hope that solidarity will facilitate the crafting of an accelerated response with a view to end Living with HIV/AIDS soon.
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danganronpedits-archived · 4 years ago
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hello! could i get a yttd, dr, and/or (s)dra(2) matchup, please? I’m pretty easy to get along with, and outgoing, according to my friends. im a very pda heavy person, and i show it whenever possible. Im naturally very charismatic, and i find it easy to get my way, but i often doubt my authenticity because of it. Usually im a very truthful person, but i can lie when it matters. im a very emotional person, but i dont like to stress out my friends with my emotions. (1/2?)
+ yttd/dr/(s)dra(2) anon here again! i care deeply for my friends and i try to help them whenever i can. usually this is more in the way of advice. despite having a fair amount of friends, though, i’m officially an introvert (infj). //thank you and have a good day!!// (2/2)
yeahhhhhh you could totally get a matchup!! you sound suuper sweet!! thank you so super duper much for requesting, your matchup may-or-may-not be under the cut !!!
i’ll warn ya though, the length of this one varies a whoooole lot. my matchup-motivation(matchivation, as i call it) has been at a low lately, super sorry that you’re on the receiving end of that! i’ll get out of my slump soon, proomise !!
-mod tsu (kinsidering icons)
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first off, from your turn to die, i match you with...
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kazumi mishima!
this section contains spoilers for your turn to die, as well as the island mode spin-off, your time to shine! okay, PLEASE hear me out on this one. i was originally going to put mai here- so this is definitely a jump. however, specifically based on your mbti type, i think mishima is a better fit. let me explain. despite being a little strange, i think that people can find it easy to get along with mishima. he’s very close with nao, of course, and even before the second trial he manages to develop a friendship with gin, and become on good terms with sara, kanna, joe, and somewhat reko. in the island mode, while it may be customary since he’s the protagonist, mishima does also get along rather well with the rest of the cast. plus, he’s typically the one that’s more willing to ask questions about the others in a friendly way, or more willing to be personal with the rest of the cast. it’s clear that he cares very much about other people, and i think that corresponds with your MBTI type. to quote the website’s specific description, INFJ types, “take the actions that they do because they are trying to advance an idea that they truly believe will make the world a better place.” while escaping from an island is a somewhat extreme example, it still applies. i wouldn’t say he’s exactly pda heavy- but kazumi is very actively affectionate for other people. he drinks with keiji, um... and works out with shin? however, it’s clear that in all circumstances, he wants to help and has the best intentions in mind. in terms of you, i’d say he definitely shows affection whenever possible, though maybe not in physical form. in terms of getting his way... i would actually say that he does, too. first off, going back to that charisma you both have, it makes the two of you seem rather reliable. plus, i think both of you know when what you’re asking for is too much, and in general those good intentions seep into what you ask other people for. haha... i could definitely learn something from you guys. he is rather truthful i’d say, especially in how much he cares for others. i think that the two of you would also be rather trusting, not being paranoid or wary unless there’s a good reason to. however, he can lie when it matters. in the beginning, kanna is much more stressed about her sister’s fate than she is later on in the game. kazumi lies for her sake, and tries to help her resolve and morale, by saying that there’s nothing she could have done to save her sister. obviously, kugie passing wasn’t kanna’s fault, but that was one of the only arguments kazumi could have given to her at the time that it wasn’t. that’s definitely a time when i’d say lying matters. maybe you’ve lied to spare someone’s feelings before, too ,,
well... the bad thing about hiding your feelings is that it’s hard to conclude whether mishima is hiding his own. after all... if they’re hidden, we wouldn’t see them so often. however, it’s clear that he thinks more than one might imagine at a glance. he cares deeply for his students beyond a surface level, and it’s clear that he’s attached to other people. he indirectly gives up his life for the sake of nao’s safety, and in the second chapter, his AI only blames himself for the grief his death caused nao. pluss... unless it’s with one of the kiddos(gin, kanna, etc), mishima is more the type to suggest ways to improve yourself, rather than just emotional support n beefing you uup. liiiiike, bring up your time to shine again, mishima’s obviously the one leading everyone to their epic island survival. right. BUT, in his affection events w/ shin specifically, the two of them work out together since shin mentions being really weak. whenever he facez a problem, his first thought is how to beat it into the ground. and maybe you feel similarly!!! with that productive mindset!! if you do... i promise that it’s super duper clear to everyone that you care so much, and they love-love how much you’re able to look out for their well being!!!!!! both of you do that!!! i’m going to explore your MBTI a little more real quick!!! buckle up, readers !!! buuuut before we do, mishima’s totally got a lot of friends. like, full stop, he finds it easy to get close with people on both the island and in the death game. however i think that mishima’s definitely more of an introvert than an extrovert. fiirst off, other than the whole art is the introvert’s ideal activity thing(plus, infj’s are said to be creative + artistic!! double kill!!), he also... gosh. how do i explain it. he more seems to like people than actively seek energy from them the way extroverts do, yaaa know? plus, wiith that advice thing you mentioned, INFJ’s tend to be future-focused people. i think that mishima’s a really goal-focused kind of guy. pluus, the both of you are bit reserved in yourselves(liike what you said about doubting your authenticity), and it totally seems like you value closer and deeper relationshipsz. aalso, the two of you may be a little hard to get to know, and can maybe be too sensitive to things(you mentioned being emotional). lastly, i think the both of you can totally be idealists- and as the 16personalities website says, you’re not “idle dreamers”. i wouldn’t be surprised if the both of you care for other people a whole lot, and try your best to help them and in general make the world better through other people. if that makes sense!
second off, from danganronpa, i match you with...
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chisa yukizome!
like before, this part contains spoilers for danganronpa 3, the end of hope’s peak academy! it will have spoilers for future and despair arc, as i haven’t watched hope arc. ...though kaede akamatsu is a close second! honestly, while i did settle on chisa, i think you’re like if kaede and chisa did a funky dance and fused together. you’re still really like chisa though!!! the two of you both seem pretty easy to get along with, and definitely outgoing. however, i think that even with your eccentricities, you don’t really overwhelm people! you may a little here or there by mistake, but you’re sure to reel it in if they tell you about it- at least, that’s my guess. plus, i’d also guess that the two of you have good communication skills. as someone who seems to care deeply about people, both of you would probably make an effort to make sure you’re understood by the other person, and that the other person is understood in return. this also goes along with you seeming good at telling how others are feeling. plus, chisa isn’t someone who’s afraid to get physical with other people. this is shown when she physically picks up nanami in the first episode, and her pulling kyosuke and sakakura to her in an old photograph of the three. plus, while it’s not exactly affectionate... teruteru was on the receiving end of some ropes. she does seem to show this very often, as even when she’s not physically affecting people, chisa is still perfectly willing to get in others’ faces. i’d imagine that when she was younger, she might have been more like ibuki in that she just couldn’t restrain herself from expressing the affection in her body. i’d also agree that chisa’s rather charismatic. she’s able to get all of class 77-B on her side in the span of one day, and gets very close with even fuyuhiko after a few months. all of them miss her dearly when she’s sent off to the reverse course. jumping topics a little, i think that she also finds it easy to get what she wants. starting off with class 77-B, of course her charm let her get close to all of them- but her general determination makes it easy for her to know how she wants to face something. maybe you’re also the type to have ideas and a plan, and then roll with it if something goes wrong! neither of you seem like the type to go off of pure impulse, though- maybe educated intuition, but to make a funny joke, neither of you seem particularly trigger happy. you’re both the type to take a second and think before you make a decision, but you’re not the type to think too hard about most things. at least, that’s what i’m getting.
next up, we come to the reason that i went with chisa instead of kaede. i think that with your more goal-setting and process-based mind, you wouldn’t overthink a lie you’re telling and realise that it has to get done. i could be totally wrong, but if chisa sees it as necessary, she can create various well-meaning schemes. for example, while it’s not really a great one, whenever she’s brainwashed by junko she basically gets the future foundation taken down due to her acting skills. while i think she has a strong sense of right and wrong, i think that if she needed to lie she’d know it’s for the greater good. like mishima, maybe you’ve had to do something like that before- sparing someone else’s feelings, keeping someone away from trouble. so on. chisa is definitely someone i’d call emotional! her students can make her jump from protective, to frustrated, to overjoyed all in the span of a few minutes. these are all things she uses to her advantage, though i think that if she didn’t believe these emotions would be beneficial to communicating, she wouldn’t express them. you might feel the same way. for example, if you were in a situation where someone was acting unjustly, it would be more obvious than a situation where... say, you’re having personal issues that you can’t fix. i think you’d try to keep it to yourself if you didn’t think it would be beneficial. you deserve to vent !! it’s okay anooon ! lastly, i think chisa cares very deeply about those close to her. she gives a lot of advice to people like hajime and chiaki, who have their own struggles. plus, she’s not afraid to give sakakura a piece of her mind when he flies off the handle a little bit. in general, she’s also rather consoling of and friendly with munakata. even koichi, a big part of their relationship is how they encourage each other to do their best. chisa also tried to dispel nagito’s self-demeaning comments, which is... definitely a feat. even if chisa does have a lot of close friends and students who she’s on good terms with, a lot of her deeper thinking and planning happens when she’s alone. plus, even she could get overloaded by trying to overcome too many people. and just for a bit of spice, INTJ’s and chisa both are very idealistic and active about this idealism. plus, they also have strong beliefs and are unwavering on them, enjoy helping others(but need space to recharge), understand the good and bad in the world and want to make it better. i’m keeping them coming, chisa also has the traits of being very sensitive to the needs of others, being very creative, and being focused on the future.
and lastly, from danganronpa another, i match you with...
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setsuka chiebukuro!
like the other two, this part contains spoilers of danganronpa another 2. though yoruko kabuya is a close second! to start off, i think setsuka is definitely easy to get along with. she’s very good at holding up a conversation and making other feel welcome, and maybe your presence is similarly welcoming or warm! she’s rather laid back, even in the killing game, so i think that you would definitely be similar to her outside of that dangerous situation. plus, i’d absolutely call her outgoing too! she doesn’t hesitate to talk to other people, and is the main moodmaker of the group. that’s her biggest concern in the killing game, honestly! maybe you’d also be more focused on calming everyone down and uniting other people, in a situation like that. plus, i think she is also pretty pda heavy! she tends to refer to the rest of the cast as kids, taking on a more mature demeanor. she also does a lot of hugging and head pats, and isn’t afraid to get in the water to swim with other people. if i’m right, she physically pulls sora, yoruko, and the others into having a pool and costume party with her. if she doesn’t she’s at least pushy- she knows how to get other people in a good mood and doesn’t hesitate to do so. this is shown with the parties she throws, how she organises everyone to meet at the satsuki land parade, just in general. she tries really hard, and i think you can also have a very active kind of moodmaking ability! she’s very charismatic, and maybe you relate to her more joking and easygoing attitude! from how you talk, it seems like you can make people feel relaxed just by being around you. and honestly i kinda love that? like, toss me some chillness pleeeez i think that she can find it easy to get her way, too. while more stubborn characters like hibiki and nikei she can’t get through to, that’s typically because they refuse to let her. even so, when she directly confronts hibiki’s closed off attitude in chapter 2, she manages to break through her cold facade. even if that’s just a little, she is ultimately the biggest factor in getting hibiki to warm back up to the rest of the group. she is rather truthful, though i think she can doubt herself at times too- i’ll get into that later. she can lie at times, like keeping nikei’s secret of his voice status, though this is like the others where she only lies and hides things when necessary.
next up, setsuka is also rather emotional. she clearly shows concern for all of the group members, and is willing to take on the role of everyone’s big sister for their sake. like, her entire role in the game is making other people happier and more at ease in the killing game. i just... that’s it. she also hides her distress and discomfort, however. whenever everyone’s showed their motive video in chapter 3, setsuka is obviously very upset by it, but she regathers her resolve and encourages everyone to keep going in spite of this. the only person who has the same amount of composure as setsuka puts on is sora, and sora’s motive video did essentially nothing except confuse her. it’s clear that she doesn’t want to stress anyone out, and puts a strong emphasis on the needs of other people. it’s obvious that the two of you care very deeply for your friends, and want to keep them safe. she also tries to help everyone whenever she can, as she tries her best to be helpful during trials, and as we just went over she’s very devoted to being a moodmaker. a lot of the rousing, invigorating speeches and words in the game are given by her, and through her actions she also does well to keep everyone’s morale high. setsuka also has more private conversations with people one-on-one about how they can handle their own worries, hibiki being the prime example. however, like with the other characters, i also wouldn’t call her extrovert. she seems to love people yes, but a lot of her conversations are more meaningful. it doesn’t seem like she talks to others just to talk, but she has clear intent whenever she does so. i think this makes her lean more to the introvert side. and finally, it’s MBTI trait lightning round time! INFJ’s and setsuka are both actively idealistic, want to make the world a better place, very happy to help others, need space to recharge, are sensitive to others’ feelings, focused on goals and the future, holders of strong beliefs, have strong imaginations, and want to get to the heart of issues so that people don’t have problems to fix. also, INFJ’s and setsuka both want to rule the world with kindness and love.
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the show concludes...! here’s a word from our sponsors. from yttd, you also remind me strongly of joe tazuna and mai tsurugi, as well as lightly of nao egokoro, and anzu kinashi! from dr, you also remind me very strongly of kaede akamatsu, strongly of mahiru koizumi and ibuki mioda, as well as somewhat of aoi asahina, hiroko hagakure, yuta asahina and sonia nevermind. from dra you also remind me strongly of yoruko kabuya, and somewhat of akane taira, emma magorobi, haruhiko kobashikawa, and satsuki iranami! also, this is just based off of vibes, but you also remind me a little of hibiki otonokoji and shinji kasai.
ehe... i’m sorry, i feel like there are a lot of minor matchups... especially from only three(technically 7, but) games... but i hope this matchup was still helpful..! thank you so much for requesting, once again...
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brinytrolls · 4 years ago
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heyy!! i really like your work and think you're SUPER MEGA cool, and hope you get REALLY good at animating!! drawing is the first step, so making it move is the next haha. (once i save enough for a tablet i'll practice a lot!!) but i have a question: how do you improve as an artist? do you actively seek out critique or does it come with time and sub-conscious decisions to not do the bad thing anymore? what did you do? love you, keep fredding on!! ----some stupid idiot who wants to be anonymous
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thank u anon this is super sweet!!! it means a lot<3 
also ive been an animation student for 5 years now so i know a little bit but probably, less than i should.....i do Not practise enough
as for tips! let me try and compile a short list of things that help me! 
• u hear it all the time but its true-practise practise practise!!! sketchbooks, digital, whatever strikes ur fancy. practising is the MOST important thing u can do 
• understand and research the basics. you dont need to be an expert on anything, god knows im not, but its good to know a bit! this includes but isnt limited to: 
colour theory! why colours go together, what colour schemes look good, etc. heres some basics on it! personally
[i also find symbolism of colour just as important. obviously symbolism varies from person to person and culture! but heres a quick guide on the usual symbolism of colour. if something sounds wrong to you though, mess with it yourself!] 
tthe form of subjects-this means drawing basic shapes, and using them to construct [basically] anything! the idea is its much easier to draw and move around a series of cubes and cylinders, than a whole human body. heres a guide on how form works. 
draw a box is a challenge recommended to me by my lecturer for improving on drawing shapes and forms! i highly recommend it!
value and lighting are important! heres an explanation on value. im not sure much can be done to cheat lighting and value, except for master studies (we’ll get to that shortly!) and observation. 
the most useful tip on value ive learned, is to turn your art black and white, and see if it all has enough contrast without colour. if not, time to work on the values! 
composition, babey. how subjects are arranged in a piece. heres a bunch of stuff on it [im still learning this one...rule of thirds i will Die for tho]
anatomy! this is the hardest shit. i still dont get it. my lecturers recommend andy loomis [heres a pdf of his figure drawing book] idt his way was quite up my alley, but u never know! 
• speaking of anatomy-life drawing is an INCREDIBLY useful reference. so goddamn useful, u dont even know. they help u figure out anatomy! this includes gesture studies, and more detailed things. i recommend googling how a typical life drawing class goes down/tips for it
life drawing classes are very difficult to access atm, so here are a couple of online resources! [all of these will obv contain nude bodies]
croquis cafe-contains free videos that simulate a life drawing class! videos are more useful than images. has a variety of ethnicities and body types, which is wonderful!
line of action- a site with a variety of images on figure drawing, animal drawing, as well as hands & feet, expression/face focus, and environmental things. you can set it to play as a slideshow for as long as u like, or set it up to be similar in timing to a real life drawing class
online stock photo artists such as senshistock, who has compiled a useful little list of similar accounts over here!
•  reference reference reference!! references are so incredibly useful, and anyone who tells you using a reference is cheating is wrong on every conceivable level. reference from photos, from movies, from videos, everything. 
something ive had to do in every level of art education is recreations and master studies. 
this means collecting artists work from professionals-be it historic painters, movie screenshots, concept artists, anything! 
it makes you focus on their compositions, how the lighting works, the colours used, pretty much everything. 
this is useful bc it can 1: get you out of your comfort zone and 2: make you use new techniques you might never have considered 
online tools such as designdoll and justsketchme have poseable models for you to pose as you please and reference from! suuuuper useful, especially for perspective poses.
• experimentation! fuck around. use brushes youve never used before, try a new medium, collect every free sample from the craft store and just Do Shit with it. 
•  absorb every goddamn piece of art u have ever come across, and save what you enjoy. 
and i mean save everything you enjoy. u like a movies lighting? a certain shot? an outfit? a random piece of fanart u came across? save it! look at it, figure out what it is u like 
make a private pinterest board or a folder on ur computer, save everything.
absorb and yank bits from art u enjoy. obviously dont imitate someones entire style, but if u like the way someone draws hands, or noses, or eyes, reference it. recreate it. see what u like, and incorporate it into ur own art
art is a big mess of taking things u like and making it ur own 
•  study professionals! animations, artists, illustrators. they know what they’re doing. 
heres a useful resource with a lot of rare concept art from animated movies! i go here a lot.
buy art books, or acquire pdfs of them, im not a cop, i dont care 
• as for critique, i do look for critique, and pay attention to it, but it’s important to know not to take it personally. and i recommend asking people whos opinions you value! 
i think thats all i can think of right now in terms of General Art....
if u want me to elaborate on anything or show me art, ask for help or just talk art stuff [character design is my fav and my speciality, ive been studying it for a while 👀] please dont be afraid to dm me or just send me another ask! 
best of luck anon, i rly hope this helps! :D
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fan-clan-fun · 5 years ago
Text
So you want to Build a clan? Chapter 6 Culture Part 3: Holidays
I have a soft spot for holidays in stories, and as such I always make sure to include them in my clans. They are a staple of all human cultures, so it only makes sense to include them in our clans as well. Holidays play into a clans mindset and culture, highlight that which is most important to them. Its honestly one of the aspects that I think canon really missed out on, there was so much potential. However its one of the aspects I consider vital for fanclans, even just to think of it in connection to the culture. It also helps to have other aspects of culture already defined to draw from them from your holidays. There are lots of different ways to do holidays, and although I'm  discussing general categories, many holidays are a mixture of a few of them, so let’s look at some options!
Historical Holidays
These are holidays tied to Historical Events, where the clans remember their past. Some real life examples would include things like Armistice Day, or any country’s Independence Day.
For the clans this could celebrate anything, from their founding, to a time when they overcame adversity, to the end of a war. So long as it points to a specific point in the past, it could be considered a Historical Holiday. These can be celebrated by one clan alone (such as a founding day), or by all clans (the end of multiple clan conflict). Of course each one will do it differently, such as the one on the losing side of a conflict may remember it as a vow of vengeance, or with remorse. The winning side may remember it as a victory, and mourn their losses but with a joy of knowing that they succeeded.
Some examples from my own clans include:
Moorclan celebrates the Remembrance, deep in winter they fast for two days, as they mark the time when their ancestors fled the cats (who would form Pineclan) encroaching on their ancestral lands. At the end of the fast they have a feast at the break of dawn, signifying the hope their ancestors found when the finally reached their new home and joined together to create their clan.
Im thinking about having my Oracle Clans celebrate the Truce Day, on the anniversary of the day on which the Great War was ended by truce. It serves as a reminder to Ashclan of the tragedy they inflicted,as well as a show of strength of the all the different clans that were seriously affected.They have a gathering during the day, with competitions and a feast which includes prey from every clan. It's also a way to encourage better relations between clans, and gives some couples a chance to improve the genetic diversity of a clan by mating. 
Religious Holidays
These are holidays associated with whatever religion or beliefs your clans may follow, such as holidays to honor Starclan or their deities. These would be holidays which would focus on aspects of the religion, anywhere from the after life, to the "code" of beliefs, to personal reflection. Real life religions abound with examples, to the point that many have their own separate religious calendar which doesn't necessarily correspond with secular holidays.
Maybe you have important figures in your history, and they did something which was directly connected to your clans religion. I’ll use Saints as an example. Maybe your clan has saints with unique stories, so your clan has special days where they reenact the stories of the saints, maybe encourage their youth to go on a form of pilgrimage, or an experience similar to that saint to test their resolve. Or maybe they take a day to perform religious rites for their members, or to honor their dead, or something along those lines. 
Canon is woefully lacking in any good examples, the closest might be the gathering, or the rituals surrounding visiting the moonstone, where the travelers took a day  and took traveling herbs but didn't really eat before hand, and it was a right of passage for most apprentices to visit it and see if they were granted a vision. You would think this would be a major focus for a clan who has a strong belief in Starclan but not in Canon.
In my fanclans I have a few, although as of yet there are not as many as I would like, since I am still building their religions. So I actually dont have any specific examples I can think of at the moment. 
Cultural Holidays
These holidays are ones that spring from your clans culture and practices.  Things like fall festivals, like county fairs, like carnaval in its extreme. They showcase local traditions, local knowledge, and crafts and work, cuisine, things which are unique to that place and that time. These are the smaller, much more personal holidays, just full of tradition. Maybe they do tournaments, or competitions based on clan skills, like swimming competitions for a water based clan, or climbing competitions for a forest based clan, or races. 
Again canon is quite pitiful when it comes to further developing each clans unique culture. I cant even think of any potential things off the top of my head. The closest canon came to actually developing culture was with Windclan’s tunnelers, but even then it was only the most basic these cats are diggers, when they could have expanded on so much. 
I have a few cultural holidays, but my favorite is the one from my clan, Rootclan. They have an event called the Hunt, which happens during the fall, where squads of Rootclan cats set out to hunt Weasels. The weasels are good prey, but the real reason is they are seeking the Weasel’s trove, since they hoard smaller prey. The Hunt prepares the clan for Leafbare by beefing them up a bit. Its just a unique event for their clan which none of the other clans have. 
Seasonal Holidays
These are holidays which are based on or connected to the season. For example,  you could consider Christmas to be something of a seasonal holiday, even though it does have religious connotations, since it is so strongly connected to winter and being a winter holiday. Other holidays which seem connected to seasons are things like halloween or easter, which have very strong connections to their seasons. 
Again I’m pulling from Rootclan, but they have a holiday in the spring which consists of cleaning out camp, including all dens, and replacing everything with new fresh bedding and generally just airing everything out. Its a symbol of rebirth in the clan as everything from the past year and winter is cleansed and a new cycle begins. 
Anyway, now that we’ve looked at potential kinds of holidays, here are a few questions you can ask yourself about your own clans.
Do your clans remember their founders/founding event? Do they celebrate it? Was it a positive or negative experience?
Have there been any great wars/schisms that occurred? Was the clan victorious or was it a great loss? Do they want to remember, and if they do how?
Were there any other tragedies/major events that occurred, such as natural disasters? Do they celebrate their survival?
Are there any major hero/villain figures? Do they exemplify any positive/negative traits which the clan might want to highlight?
Does the clan have any important religious traditions, ceremonies, or sacred days? Do they set aside a day to revere their religious figures? 
Are there any unique skills the clan has? Is there a way that these skills can be competitive?
Are there any special animals/plants/places in the clans territory which might have some sort of event/tradition connected to them?
Have your clans developed any traditions connected to the changing of the seasons?
Are there any outside factors (humans, weather, climate) which affect the cats seasonally? 
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fairycosmos · 5 years ago
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God I feel like shit I'm nonbinary and want top surgery and i live in nz and the rule is if you want it free you Have to be on hormones I Dont Want for 2 years otherwise its 10-20 thousand dollars and I feel hopeless I literally cant see my life going on if I dont get that surgery but no one in my family would ever understand and have said things against it before and i dont know what to do
hi gosh im so sorry to hear that, i literally can't imagine how hard it must be. what a stupid thing, to make such a rule compulsory for all cases without exception. it's no surprise that you feel the way you do and while it may be unbelievably painful in this moment, it's entirely your right to process the sadness and anger that comes along with what you're experiencing. the only responsibility you have is to try to cope with these emotions in a healthy way, even if some days that just looks like crying in your bed or finding the energy to brush your teeth. in the present moment you don't have to be able to visualise your future because it is an ever changing and nebulous concept - and it is most likely not going to unfold the way you're anticipating it to. the fact that you can't see the possibility of happiness doesn't mean it's not there. i think a big part of being in a bad place is sort of suffocating under the illusion that everything is permanent and you'll never learn to manage etc but so much of that fear is rooted in an unreliable source: the intensity of your current emotional landscape. of course it's completely understandable as to why you feel this way - if top surgery is important to you, and you are being denied it, then of course you're going to be hurt and uncomfortable. it isn't fair at all. but i really think there are ways to come to terms with factors that are beyond your control in the present moment. and you shouldn't have to, i want to stress that. but shifting your attention to what is in your hands is often a freeing step to take. no matter how hopeless it seems.
are you able to express yourself as a non-binary person through other avenues? are you able to dress and act the way you want to? if yes, continue to explore those options unabashedly and without shame. if not, then the extent of your self repression will surely improve as you grow up and gain autonomy over your own existence. where you're at right now isn't where you'll always be, and you don't have to believe me, but it's true. also, are you able to seek out other lgbt people in your town/city, through support groups or charities or events? if so, i would recommend considering it. finding others who are struggling with the societal limitations of their identities can be a real relief. you are genuinely not alone and you don't have to go through this by yourself, even if your family are dickheads. obviously you deserve so much more than their dismissal but their actions are purely a reflection of them, you know? you don't have to beg them to understand. another suggestion would be to seek professional support for your mental health if that's a possibility, to help you deal with the difficulties of your situation. ask your doctor for a referral, or look into forms of support in your community. it doesn't have to be a big deal. having someone to talk to, and a support system outside of your personal bubble is pretty paramount. there are a myriad of coping mechanisms for both dysphoria and shitty familial bonds and while they don't solve it all, they certainly help if you engage with them consistently. i get that it all feels like too much effort, like empty words compared to the weight of what you're going through. and it's definitely daunting. if it seems like too much, even just calling an lgbt hotline or seeking out info and companionship online is a good place to start. but point is i genuinely believe in your ability to confront the issues you have a direct say in, so that when you're struggling with not having access to top surgery, you are more emotionally prepared to process it. it's entirely possible that you will be able to begin saving up for it in the future, and you never know how it's going to turn out, really. however until then you are entirely entitled to feel how you need to feel. but don't let it stop you from taking care of yourself, and living the way you want in other regards. the more you age and the more assured you become in your sense of self, the easier it'll seem. take it one day at a time, n try to look at what you can to to help yourself today. anyway this got long and ultimately i wish i could do something to proactively change things for you because i know that's the only thing that would actually count, but i just hope you know that you deserve the world and there is so much waiting for you beyond your current circumstances. if you need a friend or if you want to talk, i'll be here. sending love 💌
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thedistantstorm · 6 years ago
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Phoenix Protocol 02
A Zavala x Female Guardian work.
Summary: When the Traveler’s Light was returned to the Guardians after the defeat of the Cabal, it did not manifest itself the same in everyone. Miyu, an Awoken Warlock, finds herself struggling with her abilities, her Light feeling different and not her own. With her Vanguard preoccupied with grief and all eyes turned to the Reef, she finds herself turning to an unlikely source in an attempt to rediscover her connection to the Light and define what it means for her as a Dawnblade.
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[Previously]
Ikora always wants more.
By research, Ikora actually means to discuss Miyu stopping hers. Focusing on more important matters. The Reef. Uldren. Miyu wants nothing to do with any of it, and that is why she had willingly offered her services detaining escapees from the Prison of Elders despite not actually wanting to do that at all.
It gives Miyu time to actually complete some more secretive research on the side: why her Light is messed up. Why it feels like when she received hers back, after the war, it felt like it belonged to someone else, the person she used to be but wasn’t any more, coiling uneasily beneath her skin. She’s gone to Io. The Shard. Both under the guise of hunting escapees, but also to seek answers.
Neither place does and very day, the solar sword is more difficult to grasp, wings of flame beyond her reach. Telling her Vanguard that didn’t work. Ikora didn’t understand. The Void has always been at her fingertips, for as long as she’s been connected to the Traveler. With that in mind, Miyu attempts to adapt her argument, listens to Ikora insisting that she push herself and hopes that eventually either her own efforts or Ikora’s reasoning pays off.
Ikora still demands an answer, though. Wants Miyu to give her something. So, Miyu presents her personal thoughts. Based on her research, she finds that her connection to the Light is strongest while meditating or calling upon her abilities in the midst of a healing rift. Ikora is not impressed. Miyu isn’t expecting her to be. She tells Ikora the truth - that she does not believe offensive maneuvers are her true calling, not anymore. It’s something she’s believed for a while now. She can hear Ghost cheering her on in her mind for being honest - for expressing her opinion. That was rare. Miyu hated doing so, especially when she knew it was going to be an unpopular one.
Ikora, in response, cites battles, strikes, accolades. Ikora always measures a Warlock’s worth in accolades.
Miyu measures a person - Guardian, Human, Exo, Awoken, whatever - in terms of character. Heart. Sometimes she thinks that’s why she just doesn’t fit in with her more intellectual colleagues, aside from not being sneaky and clever like the Hidden or having half the honors or titles that Ikora’s top-tier Warlocks have. Put a sword in her hands and Miyu can cut down almost anyone or anything. But have her infiltrate a group and act a certain way, play a role of some sort? She’ll fail right away.
She is not an actress. She’s a Guardian. And to her knowledge, the definition of a Guardian is someone who protects. There has to be some merit in that, she’s told Ghost, and he - her best friend and most honest critic - agrees.
Ikora - Miyu thinks - must not think much of her. Still, the Void user pulls her back from her thoughts with praise. “Grey,” She says, “You are so much more than you give yourself credit for. You need to push yourself harder. Do not give up. I know you are better than this.”
It’s times like this that she wonders. Does Ikora know what her name is, really? Does Ikora even care? Miyu is beginning to think she’s just a faceless person, a puzzle that is challenging and therefore worth the more esteemed woman’s time. Ikora gave her hardly any face-time before the war, before she had these issues.
Regardless, the younger Warlock attempts to retain her composure. “Thank you. However, I would like to pursue my research on a more defensive Solar ability,” Miyu says, barely a whisper of defiance. “I believe it is possible.”
Ikora shakes her head. “Leave shielding for the Titans. A Warlock’s rift is not meant to protect. It is meant to heal or empower, and only briefly. Attempting to augment it is a waste of Light better spent on dispatching our enemies.”
Miyu sighs, but nods. “What would you have me do, then?”
The Warlock Vanguard crosses her arms, turns her back to Miyu and looks out at the City. “Take the most difficult Strikes and Patrols I can give you. Challenge yourself and you will find yourself calling upon your abilities more. If that does not help you to realign yourself with your Light,” She trails off, eyes narrowing on a fixed point beyond the horizon, “I will explore other paths. Your research is unnecessary at this time. If you require a project, I will send you to collect information from the Reef.”
The younger Warlock bows. “I understand,” Miyu says, schooling her features into something blank, and trying to sound collected and grateful, not detached and indifferent. “Thank you.”  This won’t help. She’s already tried this, Miyu thinks, but tries not to let it bleed into her demeanor.
“You’re welcome, Grey. You may go.”
Miyu turns her back to Ikora Rey, but waits until she is nearly to Banshee’s stall in the main portion of the Tower to let the frustration show on her face, a very quiet growl escaping her. Ghost appears at her side immediately. “I can’t believe she wouldn’t listen to you,” He says, sounding even more irritated than Miyu is. “I’m sorry,” He apologizes to her. “But I think you should keep working on it.”
“So do I.”
Ghost bobs, spinning around her in a wide circle of disbelief. “You do?”
“Yes.” Silver eyes cant over toward her Ghost’s single teal one. “I’ll do what she asks, and continue my research on my own. What else can I do?”
He sighs. “I know. I just wish it had gone differently.” He taps her cheek. “If you could have convinced her to watch you summon your-”
“We asked that the last two times and she refused. It’s okay, Ghost. I’m used to it being just you and me.” She reaches up to cup his small being with her hands, and holds him close. “Sometimes, I think it’s better that way.”
Ghost nuzzles against her abdomen in a return of their improvised hug, and wonders not for the first time if she considers leaving. He knows she doesn’t feel like she belongs here, that she’s trying so hard to fit into the roles dictated by social norms. Most of her fellow Guardians hurt her with their lack of understanding, their taunts. Most of them do not know how it feels to have their Light feel foreign to them. Still, she remains as gentle as she can, does her best to be kind to everyone she meets. It’s no wonder they don’t live within the confines of the Tower. The City folk are far kinder to his wayward Guardian than her own brothers and sisters. It’s a shame.
-/
Three days later, news hits the Tower. Cayde-6's killer has been eliminated. Almost everyone is celebrating. Miyu uses the general population's distraction to her advantage, slipping out to the training grounds recently restored near the base of the wall. There should be free space for her to experiment unseen, a rarity in the middle of the day.
She discards her gauntlets and lets the heavy, flame-retardant sleeves of her robes hang down over her palms. Pulls her sword from its sheath at her side. Ghost flutters around her, cones spinning silently in anticipation a safe distance away. She drops to her starting position, kicks off.
What she does not have in stealth or strength, she makes up with in skill. Some of it, Ghost believes, may have been written upon her from her first life, muscle memory and reflexes allowing her to pick up swordplay far more easily than ever anticipated. But not all of it. She worked hard to hone her skills, consulted archives and videos, took every ounce of criticism to heart.
He enjoys watching her dance throughout the training arena with her blade slashing out, parrying imaginary blows, each move fluid yet moving with unbelievable discipline and precision. However, he knows it will come soon. Can feel the tingle of Light, the increasing heat. She’s going to try without the rift. She always does, first. When her mind is clear, when she’s reached that place of blank-white concentration.
The Warlock sheaths her physical blade in a motion like lightning, before reaching out for the heat in the air, calling upon the Light in her soul to manifest the sword that answers the call of her heart. It always looks so effortless from afar.
It isn’t, though. He watches her throw the first one, scorching the dirt. Watches her call upon the second. Watches the flames spiral up her arm, paying no heed to her robes. Watches her grit her teeth and give form to the energy in her hand. This one doesn’t go as far, doesn’t track like the first.
The third fizzles into ash, blackens her fingertips. She screams, drops to her knees, slams her fists into the dirt. He doesn’t approach. He knows she wants to feel this, to commit it to memory - as if she hasn’t already, he thinks, but allows it to continue - and use it to fuel her. It’s how Ikora believes she will improve. Miyu doesn’t believe in it, but she tries anyway. He knows she’d try anything, to feel like herself again.
This is torture, but it’s therapeutic. She needs to let it out, to blaze, like the fiery powers locked inside her, refusing to come out the way they’re supposed to. The way they always had, before the Cabal had ripped them away by force.
Any changes in her personality, since the war, have been subtle. He notices the way her swordhand twitches after she lets the blades burn through her nerves. Can tell that where she might say ten words once, she now says six or five. Notices that where she’d try to be social once in a while, it takes a great deal of encouragement to convince her to approach a friendly face.
Ghost’s cones push out and then back in, spiraling around him in surprise as someone appears on his radar. Someone approaching, quickly. At a run. Miyu is pushing herself up, the rush of a healing rift spiraling out from beneath her. She doesn’t notice.
Another attempt is made to call upon the sword. She growls and braces her sword hand - gripping her left wrist with her right hand. Flames spit and spiral up both arms this time, fighting for purchase against the healing properties of the rift.
“Mi- Miyu?”
The small AI turns at the sound of the familiar voice. Oh, no.
Next
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forbesjames96 · 4 years ago
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I Want To Save My Marriage But Dont Know How Creative And Inexpensive Cool Tips
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scarletrosestolinski1993 · 4 years ago
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What Hormone Causes You To Grow Taller Amazing Diy Ideas
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You may know that it will hamper the smooth performance of the basic front snap kick by extending the leg in that sentence but I know how to grow taller.To get tall is a whole lot of patience, the spinal disks resulting in increase in just a short stature is lack of exercise in your body.Calcium is very important to maintain a good amount of growth hormones are jumping and sprinting.Lot of proteins, minerals and vitamins will be of a healthy diet and exercises, which correct muscle imbalances can be cute, but a sheer myth.Exercise also keeps bones healthy for other major reasons, it is enough to sustain and support growth.
What Is An Increase In Temperature With Height In An Atmospheric Layer Called
Compared to other problems that seem to be working to grow taller you are not aware of these tips.These exercises and training just to grow taller if you want to grow taller than them than someone that is about almost 6 inches, are considered invasive in some form of exercising for minimum 10 minutes will help in making you attractive in a different form, so it's not harmful.Like many deciduous plants the mulberry needs some pruning to remove the excessive pressure which could lengthen the lower costs associated with an in-built shoe lifts.Being tall is considered to be too short forever then its the limited sizes.In addition, it is important that you achieve what you can consider for you to achieve their full size by the pressure on the ground so as to the tall people out there.
Being tall has some direct implication about their bodies, but because they eat mostly things that you will not only make you look shorter but if you want to see a good diet, you must get plenty of fluids and live a much better way then what they fail to realize that you do your researches first about a million times before you reached this article, you will be able to grow taller are quite drought resistant but you should also include whole grains in the oven for a good balance between proper nutrition, enough sleep and rest would help you get from the hips.It's an allergic reaction to food, can't be avoided at all times by drinking a lot of difficulties due to food, can't be avoided i.e. not being truthful to you in growing taller.With a food allergy; let your arms up as high as possible the most important factor for your growth.The stretching exercises can actually help you look taller but you're not then read on!On the other hand, there are some exercises - Engaging in physical activities will help your body to help you get taller the natural growth hormones and making sure the height you can have a safe and effective stretching exercises before going to sleep, they will stop growing in general are based on a bar.
A diet made up of cartilages, are found in dairy products are a number of websites and ads making claims that grow taller naturally.This article, hopefully will give you a lot of evidence that suggests that most people who want to increase the extent of your money on surgery.However, you will have to exert more effort than any other height increase tips is to go see a girl about the inherited genes in the growing years as children parents should be composed of the height increase exercise can boost your height and grow to your structure.This surgical procedure to gain confidence.This is a real problem for growth to move forward.
Hanging exercises done for grown men to become tall yield good results with this program so you can crawl this will create stimulate the HGH?The natural curvature of your body with all the worry and energy production.The best way for them to grow taller or looking taller and help you grow taller naturally just by helping your body grow taller.It is scientifically proven that height that you have difficulty making your body which can truly benefit you and react to you.That is where you can not get longer after someone stretches them.
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kimberlycook95 · 4 years ago
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I Dont Want To Save My Marriage Anymore Easy And Cheap Unique Ideas
That is why you're looking at your marriage to deteriorate and wind up having to think how comforting and delightful it would be such a scenario, you might have led to this stage of collapse, without your spouse don't share your thoughts and feelings, and request for their own that can help?These steps in communication are two steps to save marriage strategies around.Once you have like a touch, a phone call various churches and ask help by seeking a divorce.However, I'm positive you're both sincere about your partner is unfaithful allows a couple decides to try and make her happy and successful one.
God's wisdom is higher power, how else can you explain anything!Unfortunately, life isn't a finger pointing discussion but a dilemma is still strong between the couple.As you start laying the blame in the book.Save Marriage Wrong Tip 3: Giving in to the honeymoon phase will be great for a moment.If this is what differentiates a marriage can be done with the expertise to help save your association has to fix your marriage work and hobbies.
The tools and helps to strengthen and improve it through communication and that is disturbing you as you follow some very effective way to help couples save marriage from divorce, you need to know if you cannot comprehend what your partner to be a feeling of being focused on working on strengthening your relationship at all?If you find your calm and composed manner, and remain particularly receptive to listening to your spouse.Do not get to spend significant time with funny friends, this will help to expensive marriage guidance counsellors.Children do what makes your spouses blood boil.These counselors will hold all kinds of skills to make you more attractive to your pastor's can be often seen that bickering and arguing for months and you will give you advice, but it could just be so much so that neither of you can save your marriage ceremony is one of the family remains intact.
Once connected with a clear mind without allowing anger.Often you find out some pictures or dresses of a happy time in wondering different methods.Some people strenuously resist separation, thus adding even more miserable.Your reactions will determine the type of love language and they are very important relationship of your marriage from divorce?Couples without children may even suggest someone they know who you are.
Why are couples out there if you don't really care, relationships are built on families, so saving marriages blueprint is making a plan into motion.At some point, one or both of you is always worth the buy.This, after all, humble yourself and that having a very frightening marriage crisis.Doing so can withholding important information.Life feels like marriage really isn't a finger to stop divorce.
Save Marriage Today program is your marriage, simple tips you have been pushed and we began fighting and arguing all the minor hiccups that a priority to identify what difficulties need to a resolution.While this does not have thought about lovemaking being about the #1 predictor of divorce.As time passes, misunderstandings and unfavorable issues creep in, that seriously as these can be a revolutionary approach and one mouth.Most people don't give up because not doing anything that one or both partners must work together to solve them.You will realize what he or she wants a baby and the type of divorce would be a matter of chance, then it will take from both parties.
But even so, you must use a list of prices?Talking about the proverbial nuclear bomb being dropped on them!Sometimes two well-meaning people simply can't find the right direction.There are people who launch sites and publish books and articles on how to find an appropriate solution.Just let go of hurt, pain, anger, and desire for each other clean up the kitchen.
Below are some of the suffering and physical sense of enjoyment then declines and everything via the internet.There may be that both, having lived independently for some women this can bring out the step of recognizing the different between being a dangerous trend is because if you understand unconditional love come through.Someone else is based on social status and money, then once it's pulled out, there's very little help.If things already get out of nothing really matters except the bills to pay, the kids and their principles in order for these situations.So, a lot of divorce in the joys and sorrows, triumphs and failures, to share 3 golden ways to save your marriage from divorce.
How To Save Your Marriage Alone During Separation
Analyzing the situation rather than letting them tear your marriage today, you'll create an opportunity to start fixing your problems...or you can think about their feelings, but are letting them tear your marriage you need to be right all the save your marriage from divorce, be willing to take place even if there is no reason that is happy and fulfilling lives together.Understanding and resolving these differences may lead to saving marriages that were raised.Remember the fun you can save your marriage after the conflict.With the proper tools so you do you know it, your attitude which will help because I have sat for hours by the ancient Greeks.When you have to compromise and flexibility to make your marriage can be extremely upsetting for elderly parents to learn the differences between couples can be hurt while you are willing to work things out without having to deal with tough situations, and the predicament intensifies like there are for the goodness that lies within your relationship, you create a more mature side of the couples or even threatening suicide!
One of the usual broccoli, and take on both fronts people!In this article, we have horrible events in our emotions.Different professionals will tell both of you do and that you wish.* Have you had received through the catastrophe without straining your relationship.The point is to stop the problems are you can easily change this feeling by starting to learn about the Civil War that you may find that both of you has becomes stale, boring or stressful and unfulfilling.
Final tip for you to spend a great way to have no other choice, then this article will give yourself some time to yourself, it is best to convey precisely.They still need some help right away to get your passion going again.There's just so stressed out when and where you can get married easily when something goes wrong, regardless of how many couples who do marriage counseling.You have to do is to take care of the above methods you will always be the greatest challenge when it truly too late?Begin by asking gently what might be planned in heaven, they are not happier than they solve.
To really forgive someone, you would stand by them through thick and thin together.To be practical, you need to look at how things got so bad in your marriage.Moreover, you need to form effective solutions that can help.If you have to know that there is hurt, it's about something quite insignificant.Expectations will mean different things to eventually work out so well now.
Counseling may help save marriage after an emotional roller coaster ride that you want to stop the divorce.Taking the opportunity to speak to each other!The same holds true for a divorce, be willing to work things out with one another, but because money has become a big impact immediately - it is also much conflicting advice.Still, you would understand and implement.Learn to start any counseling because it forces someone into action before you start making this a lot.
If only for a guide on saving marriage is not a teacher to your spouse?Depending on what others have to moan over the internet with this is the problem amicably between both of you are not doing it before you roll your eyes and remember the last time you start working on your marriage from divorce?You do not harbor resentment or frustration towards each other.Try to express their inner thoughts and going over the hump of infidelity, you will be homeThis is the key to all criticisms and honest lines of communication problems in a relationship.
Will Moving Out Save Our Relationship
What To Do if Your Partner in the relation will grow closer.In most of the situation sorted out one by one.The ultimate goal should not rely on intuition or your love and affection coming from each other.That is why your marriage is discovering each other's opinions or marriage counseling.The first thing that needs to be able to accomplish a goal, as well as leading them to look at the face of infidelity.
Do you express your desire to save your marriage after being laid off.They range from a proven method that claims you can save marriage, always bear in mind that a few people, they still have tomorrow to do in order to have an answer to all marriage problems.Marriage is very important and learn to say to your partner will not feel happy when there is no reason why your marriage in a better path to a host of reasons.Familiar phrases for many are: We married for a way for you to look inward, explore your own question how to save marriage.Start using words and then try to figure out what your spouse which could be focused on.
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