#let this be lost to the sea of the internet for all time

[lookoutfortrashcansyosuke]

As a young adult, I am so tired of limiting myself to who I can be because of peoples expectations of me.

I am so tired of the friends and adults who watched me grow up saying "I've known you since you were blah blah blah" Shut up, actually shut up.

No, you don't know me anymore.

I am so tired of having to fight to express even a sliver of myself because everyone thinks I haven't changed since I was 12.

I am tired of having to surprise people with who I am.

I am so tired of gaslighting myself into thinking everything about how I feel is a "phase" or "unusual" or "worth keeping an eye on".

I am more than anyone will ever know. I am deeper than the ocean and wider than outer space.

And I am so tired of trying to find a way to articulate that fact.

...

And for a terrifying moment, I think of how glorious it would be to live in complete isolation.

Because maybe, just maybe, with no one else to pollute my thoughts-

I could finally hear my truest self, whoever that is.

Who am I?

Are there any words in any lexicon that could encompass an ever changing, ever evolving...

Infinity?

[ichthyorelationships]

ideas: i didn't really think of him being underwater but they deserve to have drama by crying there too so i just think you could say something about the composition being denser than water or w/e. proteins

i'm always like good thing he didn't try to exit asap via swimming in ciao alberto But What If He Did lol. just swim Somewhere else along the coast, maybe panic about [money??] & whether somehow this ruins school for luca, whether he can get in touch w/o it being On Sight b/w him & all marcovaldos, consider just kind of trying out other places, traveling after all...fascinating considering the other povs on the issue like: now there's the paguros to sympathize w/a kid vanishing, luca however in a somewhat more novel position there, giulia's throwback to alberto being a bit perplexing lmao, kind of thinking the best massimo could do is have a prewritten letter for luca to give to alberto If Possible, conveying something like i know you didn't set my livelihood on fire on purpose but even if you did i'd want you to stay. and luca in a position to do all of "maybe give the island fun facts so someone can check if he's there" & "wait & hope alberto can/does get in touch" & "have a lot of feelings"....not even the context of what this drawing is about necessarily, just tacking it on here anyways. ahead of time i went "heh now i Know they're gonna have it get little Real here b/c it's really about alberto wanting the security of feeling he can 'earn' a sustained relationship" then the short cleared & i was lying completely dead on the pavement

[hedgehog-moss]

The great thing about having no internet for a couple of weeks is, you get so much stuff done. I've made great strides in my fight against invasive plants in the pasture!

^ This large rock used to be lost in a sea of broom, you couldn't even see it.

It's a lot more fastidious now that I'm uprooting plants one by one with the root slayer instead of clearing the whole area with a brushcutter, but hopefully they'll no longer be able to sneakily bide their time underground and then grow back even stronger from their intact root system.

I took some in-progress pictures—don't these invasive plants look like a retreating army?

We've had a tiny bit of April snow—I don't know if I can call it that, the air just felt icy and wet and tangible, if I opened my mouth I could feel snowflakes fly into it but nothing was actually falling on the ground. It felt like being repeatedly enveloped then dismissed by clouds that had made plans to drop their snowflakes elsewhere.

But every time I saw Pandolf he looked like a starry night, so there really were snowflakes in the air!

It felt very satisfying to come home with my face and hands all numb and warm up by stuffing entire wheelbarrows' worth of broom into the wood oven then throwing a match. Ever since I've learnt that this plant attracts ticks, burning it has felt like defeating two enemies at once. I listen to the lovely little crackling sounds of a broomfire and picture hundreds of ticks popping like popcorn.

My animals didn't enjoy being stuck inside snow clouds all day—I saw the llamas use their shelter for once, and Pandolf politely asked to come in and sit by the fire instead of staying out to collect more snowflakes in his fur, so I think they were all already in spring mode in their minds.

Merricat also (less politely) asked for shelter, but Merricat treats every instance of wet weather like a national scandal that I personally failed to prevent.

Even the hens wanted to come sit by the fire, and when I said no (you are hens), one of them ignored me and walked in, resolutely, clucking for the younger hen to follow her, like "let me teach you how it's done".

You know when you want to eat a crêpe in a crêpe restaurant in Paris and the waiter looks baffled that you envisage to buy food in his food establishment and he says no that won't possible, and you're like these people over there are having coffee they're almost done we'll just wait inside for their table!, and (with mounting horror) he says no no no if you really insist on giving us your money then you must wait in the street for the privilege, and watch the diners through the window like little orphans, and then your more assertive, confident friend militantly walks in anyway, encouraging you like, come on he's not gonna call the police, we're about to pay 12€ for 1 crêpe I think we can wait inside thank you very much—because a dismissive aristocratic aplomb is the only attitude that'll get you a table in a crêperie in Montparnasse sometimes? It was pretty much this dynamic. Between me and my hens.

[hindulivesmatter]

Why Gandhi is a piece of shit and you should hate him.

Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi has been established in our history as a "Mahatma" which means "great soul"

This man is anything but that.

He is EVERYWHERE. He's on our currency, he's revered as a hero who saved India, and we have a mandatory holiday on October 2nd in honor of him.

If you didn't know, now you're going to get to know why he was a horrible human being. Let's begin.

This man managed to fool people Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela (among many others) into thinking he was a good person.

Here is some of the shit he's done:

In 1903, when Gandhi was in South Africa, he wrote that white people there should be "the predominating race." He also said black people "are troublesome, very dirty, and live like animals."

 Refused to have sex with his wife for the last 38 years of their marriage. He felt that in order to test his commitment to celibacy, he would have beautiful young women (including his own great niece) lie next to him naked through the night. His wife, whom he described as looking like a "meek cow" was no longer desirable enough to be a solid test.

Believed that Indian women who were raped lost their value as a human.

During Gandhi's time as a dissident in South Africa, he discovered a male youth had been harassing two of his female followers. Gandhi responded by personally cutting the girls' hair off, to ensure the "sinner's eye" was "sterilised". Gandhi boasted of the incident in his writings, pushing the message to all Indians that women should carry responsibility for sexual attacks upon them.

He argued that fathers could be justified in killing daughters who had been sexually assaulted for the sake of family and community honour. 

Gandhi also waged a war against contraceptives, labelling Indian women who used them as whores.

He believed menstruation was a "manifestation of the distortion of a woman's soul by her sexuality".

On 6th April 1947, he gave a speech where he said, “ If the Muslims are out there slicing through Hindu masses to wipe out the Hindu race, the Hindus should say nothing and peacefully accept death”.

He hated the great Hindu rulers, especially Shivaji Maharaj. To please the Muslims, he banned the book named ShivBhaavani which correctly depicted Islam’s intolerance and fierce fundamentalism spread by it.

Refused his wife life-saving medication (for religious reasons), but those religious reasons all of a sudden no longer applied to him when he was in a similar position.

Started a fast unto death when Ambedkar asked for separate electorates for Dalits.

Gandhi left his ailing father on his deathbed, to sleep with his wife. The child born out of this copulation died in infancy. According to Gandhi, the death of this infant was the result of this evil karma.

Gandhi, even when he claimed to be the angel of non-violence, made no efforts to prevent the British from deploying Indian troops at various locations during World War II.

Kashmir was invaded by Pakistan in 1947, the brutal Pakistani army committed heinous crimes against Kashmiri Pandits including mass rape and mass killings consequently many Pandits were forced to flee to Delhi and other places. In one incident Pandits took refuge in an abandoned mosque in Delhi. Infuriated, Gandhi threatened to fast to death if the Pandits didn't leave. The Pandits were slaughtered in a communal riot as soon as they abandoned the mosques.

Criticized the Jews for defending themselves against the Holocaust because he insisted that they should have committed public mass suicide in order to "shame" the Germans instead of fighting back. His exact words were, "But the Jews should have offered themselves to the butcher's knife. They should have thrown themselves into the sea from the cliffs. As it is, they succumbed anyway in their millions."

And this is all from a simple Internet search compiled here. I wonder what else is hiding if I do a deep dive.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[agentstarkid]

NEPENTHE ✦ DR3

NEPENTHE, a term rooted in Greek mythology, refers to a legendary potion believed to dispel sorrow and induce forgetfulness of pain. This concept has evolved to symbolize anything that eases suffering and promotes emotional healing. When applied to love and post-heartbreak, nepenthe can be seen as a metaphor for the various ways people cope with the pain of lost love. This could include time, new relationships, self-discovery, or therapeutic activities that help one heal. Just as nepenthe provided mythical relief, these modern "potions" help individuals gradually let go of their heartache and find happiness again.

✦ PAIRING: daniel ricciardo x famous!latina!reader

✦ PIT BOARD: social media au | ✦ FC: becky g

✦ TRACK LIMITS: female!reader, latina!reader, age gap, language, drama, internet meanies.

✦ MAY'S RADIO: holi, loves! sorry for the long wait, adult life is a bitch. Hope y'all like this chapter because I'm not fully convinced I like it yet lol if there's any mistake...it's 02:21 a.m. and I'm dead on my feet but I was set on posting this today. If you've been playing attention to my easter eggs, you'd have seen this coming 😜 Pretty please tell me your thoughts!! I’ve been stewing on this for like two months so I beg of you to reply/reblog/send me an ask (anon or not!!) telling me what you thought!! Feeds me!! Also, shoutout to Nonnie!!! can't wait to read what you think of this 🙊❤️ Anyways, eat up, babes.

< previous chapter | series masterlist | general masterlist

JULY 1, 2022

⇥ tiktok search: y/n l/n sings devuélveme el corazón

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JULY 15, 2022

⥂ translation:

- Hey, friend! How are you? + Kuniii! What a surprise! I'm good, and you? What have you been up to? - Everything is fine here in Miami, enjoying a little bit of the sun. Listen, we haven't seen each other in a while. Aug 7 is City's first game of the season at the Etihad and I was invited. With Sofi we thought about taking you with us, so are you in? + Sounds great, Kuni! I've never been to the Etihad. But I don't know. Lately, things hasn't been going well for me with all the negative attention. I'm not sure if being in the public eye would be for the best. - I get it, Y/N. But c'mon, you should come! We'll be in a private box, far away from the paparazzis. No one is gonna bother you there, I promise. Besides, Sofi and I are gonna make you have a great time! + I don't know, Kun. To be honest, more drama is the last thing I want. - That's why I'm telling you this. It will be good for you to have a change of scenery, enjoy a good game and be with friends! And, we miss you. Sofi is already planning a great day for you. You can't let people's opinions to affect you like that. You have to live your life and enjoy it. Come with us, it will do you good. + To be fair, I do need a break. I'm gonna think about it and I'll give you my answer soon! - There's nothing to think about, Y/N! Come with us and let's have a spectacular weekend. Sofi and I are gonna take care of you and make sure you have a great time! + Ok ok, alright. I'm going! It's gonna be great seeing you and Sofi again. What should I bring? - Awesome! Just bring good vibes, a crazy desire to have a good time and something blue to support City. You come to Miami and and we leave in the jet, is that alright? We will coordinate better later. + Oki! I'm already excited! Thank you, Kuni. I really needed this! - That's what friends are for! I promise you that it will be very good for you! See you soon! + See you soon! Thank you for everything!

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JULY 29, 2022

liked by lewishamilton, daddyyankee, thalia and 2,145,873 others

yourinstagram que digan lo que sea, yo subo y bajo como la marea 🌊✨🧿

⥂ translation: let them say whatever, I rise and fall like the tide 🌊✨🧿

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fioamato Se tratan de montar y tambalean 🎶🐸☕

itsvittoriasousa Muchos la critican sin conocerla 💅🏼 iamdannaschwarz Se merece tanto y recibe tan poco 😤 andrew_allen Calle como un Civic, inteligente como un Tesla 🚗 sebastianyatra Mírala cómo camina, lo que le falta es la tarima 👀 yourinstagram No pidas rosas si no aguantas espinas!! 🥀

sebastianyatra q hdptaaa fiesta con la familyyyy 🫠🩵

llane ah con que así son las cosas, acá ya a uno no lo invitan 🙄 (⥂ translation: ah so that's how it is, here's someone who doesn't get invited)

rickymontaner brother somos dos 🙄 (⥂ translation: brother same) sebastianyatra conozco unos manes que no contestan el gc 🙄 (⥂ translation: i know some guys who don't answer the gc) ricardomontaner mau y ricky + llane + sebas + y/n = peligro por donde lo mires 😂❤️ (⥂ translation: danger wherever you look at it) yourinstagram ricardomontaner pero like in the best way, tío 😝❤️

user i absolutely love how her friends are singing the lyrics of bad bunny's song in the comments 😂

userA user even Vitto's bf commented too 😂 userB user they are really specific lyrics tho 🙊

user2 Daniel can't really outrun her, can he? 😂

soficalzetti divina! te extraño 💕

user3 is that HamilGOAT???

badbunnypr Y/N, sé tú y que se mame' un bicho las personas ❤️

yourinstagram ❤️🤘🏽

user4 Andrea is honestly my fav BB song 😭

user5 not me trying to zoom in to read those 🔥 lyrics bc ya know my girl is cooking the baddest album in history 😎

user7 I tried to like this twice once I saw that first photo DAMN 😮

user8 first pic is giving mermaid baddie/H2O vibes

user9 my boy DR fumbled hard 😵‍💫 wdym he just woke up one day next to this woman and decided he wanted smth else??? like ??? bro u ok????? 🤯

lewishamilton surfing ✅📋 next time we are sky diving sis 🪂

yourintagram time and place I'll be there brother 😛 roscoelovescoco can you's take me's with you's?

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AUGUST 7, 2022

Instagram

yourinstagram has added to their story!

⥂ translation 1: Going to a game with Kun is having a sports commentator explaining every play and probability, and who is who on the field.

⥂ translation 2: The boy is happy with the result of the match.

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AUGUST 18, 2022

liked by honeymoon, danielricciardo, rubendias and 3,145,873 others

yourinstagram Happi happi ⭐️ note to self: you da bidi bidi bom bom ✨

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user DANIEL LIKED!!!!!! MY DAN-YN HEART ❤️😭

userA Mom and Dad; Divorced but never forgotten 😭🖐 userB girl don't, he's not welcome here 😤 userC does this means he agrees she was too much of a bad bitch for his weak ass to handle? 🤣

user2 stay 🤺 the fuck 🤺 away 🤺 you 🤺 unemployed driver 🤺

userA unemployed driver is cold. it's not even official yet buddy userB lmao her replacement better not see his like on our queen's photos 😂 userC homie must be hiding somewhere and crying staring at these photos because she looks 🔥🔥🔥

user3 Literally the love of my life. She's so cute and energetic

user4 you deserve real happiness and loyalty...Don't you ever settle!

juliamichaels hot DAMN

camila_cabello hot DIGGITY DAMN

user5 I'm so glad Daniel dumped her 🗿

beberexha ok hottie!! ❤️🔥

lizzo Everyone STOP TALKING I'm trying to stare at Y/N

blakelively Absolutely fking stunning wowowow

yourinstagram let me hit u with the uno reverse card

user6 this may sound cheesy but you're literally one of the prettiest women I've ever seen 💕

yourinstagram user5 that's so unbelievably kind

sza FACE CARD NEVER DECLINES

user7 i'm single you single... let's make it happen 😍

iamdannaschwarz we live for that smile

user8 such an attention seeker 🤡 because she ain't getting that man back in this life lol

user she is so obsessed with him i swear she's pathetic yourinstagram I don't really care what you think of me because first of all, if you really don't like me, what are you guys doing wasting your time on my page? tell me who's obsessed with who?

user9 Why not? 😭

userA i think when mfs bag a baddie they dont kno how to act right 😭 im not sure sum like that userB userA correct and when they do get a girl like that they leave her for way less userC Lmaoooo frr

user queen is in her idgaf era and I'm fucking here for it!!!

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AUGUST 22, 2022

Instagram

yourinstagram has added to their story!

rubendias has added to their story!

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AUGUST 24, 2022

liked by fioamato and 1,147,693 others

f1 BREAKING: Daniel Ricciardo will leave McLaren at the end of the 2022 season

#F1 #Formula1 mclaren

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user See you later 👏👏

user2 that's called karma

user3 Only McLaren? Why not f1? The queu of young talented drivers is long

user4 So sad that they decided only bet to Lando. All best to Daniel I wish you find better place.

user5 I’m glad I never bought an orange shirt… where are we off to next Dan?

user6 LMAO NOT FIO LIKING THIS POST 🤣

userA that's iconic behavior ngl

user7 and you all were calling y/n a flop, oh how the tables have turned lmaooooo

user8 man lost the greatest woman he could've pulled and now he lost his seat and all in the same year 🤡

user9 mclaren you know this is the best guy you have right? It's not his fault your car is inconsistent. This is not 2021 where you had your car figured out.....this is a bad pr piece for you as well as a bad marketing look since danielricciardo has a look far beyond what your brand reach is. Fire your marketing team as they have failed you...

user10 $21 million going away present?

user11 Honestly Vettel said it best “mclaren didn’t bring the best out of him” I just hope he gets a place in 2023 and does well

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SEPTEMBER 11, 2022

Instagram

yourinstagram has added to their story!

rubendias has added to their story!

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SEPTEMBER 21, 2022

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OCTOBER 6, 2022

⥂ translation:

— salmahayek Happy birthday, my precious girl! You are a light in the lives of everyone who knows you. I'm here for you always! — jbalvin Happy birthday, lil sis. Many blessings to you always! — sebastianyatra Happy birthday, Penguin! I keep your friendship like a treasure that will always be with me. I feel lucky to know that big heart you have. I love you a lot, Pulga (Flea)!

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liked by rubendias, aliciakeys, alejandrosanz and 2,756,378 others

yourinstagram Thank you 23, you taught me so much. You brought me so much courage, inspiration, & healing. You reminded me that life is too short. You have brought me even closer to my true self & made me realize just how strong I am. I will remember you as the year that reminded me that living life on anyone else’s terms isn’t living… You taught me to do ME, with grace, love, and kindness. Thank you to everyone who wished me a Happy Birthday, I love you all. And, of course, a very special thank you to my favorite people in the 🌍 for going above and beyond to make me feel so loved, appreciated, & cared for. Bienvenido 24, un placer conocerte 🥳 ps: had lots of cakes this year, I couldn't be happier!! 😍

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natalie_pinkham Happiest of birthdays to the most gorgeous of gals ❤️🥳🥂🎉

yourinstagram natalie_pinkham thank you Nat! Lots of love ❤️❤️

nina ❤️❤️❤️

parishilton happy birthday angel girl ❤️

bohnes happy birthday rockstar 🎉

markhoppus HDB kid 💥

annemarie Make a wish! 🎂✨ Hope all your birthday dreams come true ❤️

lilymhe You are such a beautiful soul, inside and out, and I’m so grateful to have you in my life ❤️

luisfonsi Wishing you an amazing day and a year full of blessings. ¡Un fuerte abrazo!

keleighteller You bring so much joy and light into the lives of everyone around you ✨

anitta feliz aniversário, meu amor! Beijos! 💖

shawnmendes Hope your day is as incredible as you are ❤️ Keep shining! 🌟

daddyyankee ¡Feliz cumpleaños, Y/N! Espero que tengas un día espectacular y un año lleno de éxitos

jenniferaniston Wishing you a day filled with joy, love, and all your favorite things. Have an amazing year ahead! 💖✨

tomholland2013 Happy Birthday, Y/N! 🎉🎂

sofiavergara ¡Feliz cumpleaños, Y/N! Que tengas un día maravilloso lleno de amor y alegría 💃🏻✨

zacefron Have a fantastic day and an even better year. Enjoy every moment! 💫

niallhoran happy birthday 🍻

selenagomez Happy Birthday angel! 🎉 Sending you lots of love and positive vibes on your special day ❤️

kellinquinn Happy Birthday, Y/N! Rock on and have an amazing day!

kellyclarkson May your day be filled with love, laughter, and everything you desire. Cheers to you! 💖✨

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NOVEMBER 3, 2022

liked by rubendias, landonorris, juliaanalvarez and 2,145,873 others

yourinstagram He(art)

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sasha__rebecca 💙

itsvittoriasousa i like it, picasso

chloestroll what a gorgeous piece of art and the picasso is cute ig

user NOOOOOO WE CANT LOSE OUR MOTHER TO ANOTHER FOOTBALLER

juliaanalvarez 😎🆒

user2 I admire Y/N’s faith in love, no matter how many times she’s heartbroken and let down she still falls in love like it’s the very first time and I think this is how it should be because every single love and relationship is different and unique and should be approached as such

user agree. especially because she's not actually the crazy, guy obsessed girl the media and haters paint her as. she's falling in love when it makes sense, she's not out searching for whirlwind romances and toxic guys. she writes about it bc it's REAL anyway i hope she finds her person one day. first loves lasting forever is nice but isn't possible for most people and that's fine. i think her healthy approach is a great influence on her younger fans who fantasise about love and life just like she did

user3 girlie sure loves her athletes lmao

userA she sure loves the number 3 🤪 userB she once said it was her lucky number and apparently she was really serious about that 🤣

user4 alexa play you belong with me (taylor's version) by taylor swift 😠

user5 watch her ruin him like she ruined daniel

user6 this girl is trying so hard to stay relevant lmao bitch you are a gold digging whore and a massive flop, doesn't matter whose dick you're riding now 🤣

user7 when do we think they're hard launching we already know it's rúben 😂

userA she played the same game with mr. perfectly fine the last time userB MR PERFECTLY FINE OMG YOU'RE SO RIGHT "Cause I hear he's got his arm 'round a brand-new girl. I've been pickin' up my heart, he's been pickin' up her" IS SO DANIEL CODED userC ruben literally posted the same picture on his ig 😂 inconspicuousness left the chat with these two

user8 babygirl decided to stop playing in little league, she's on the big leagues now as she fucking should

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liked by johnstones5, joaofelix79, nathanake and 322,873 others

rubendias life's been good lately 😊

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user who got my boy listening to sleeping at last?

user2 Bro is winning on and off pitch

user3 i still can't believe rúben dias liked every picture she posted for years and also admitted his massive crush for her with his whole chest in a team video and ended up being y/n l/n's boyfriend a few months later

userA bro is the picture of perseverance. He played the long game and at the end, he got the girl 😎 userB he's my GOAT for a reason userC they don't make 'em like him anymore (a total simp for his girl)

jackgrealish alright romeo 🙄😂🩵

johnstones5 kunaguero 🤝🏻

kunaguero johnstones5 🤝🏻

user4 best defender in the world only deserves the best! 🧱

nathanake 🩵

user5 they are not even trying to hide it anymore

user6 Ru we are on the doorstep of the world cup you can't lose your focus with another pop star

userA she's definitely gonna bring him bad luck, everything she touches turns to ashes

user7 "But your heart is your masterpiece, and I'll keep it safe" THIS MOTHERFUCKER BETTER BE SERIOUS 😭

user "Your darkness will be rewritten into a work of fiction, you'll see" 😭😭 userA I'm really wishing that he's the one for her. She deserves a happy ending

user8 YOU WERE BLESSED WITH MOTHER'S HEART SO YOU BETTER PROTECT IT THROUGH THICK AND THIN, VOCÊ ENTENDE? 🤨🤺

♥ rubendias has liked this comment

user9 Mofo better keep his focus we need that 🏆!!!!

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DECEMBER 31, 2022

liked by rubendias, natalie_pinkham, shawnmendes and 2,145,873 others

yourinstagram A student of life I am. Damn it’s humbling as hell when you surrender to the fact that only thing you can control is YOURSELF. Not a person, thing or situation beyond that. Who you become in this life is 100% on you. Letting go of all that doesn’t serve you is self-care. Remember that.

2022 is a year that really marked me… It was filled with moments of all kinds. Wanted to share the ones that made me smile even in the hardest of times. Beyond thankful for the good, the bad and the ugly ❤️‍🩹

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marcusstoinis was the paint supposed to go on the wall or on yourself? 😂 scottyjames31

scottyjames31 don't talk if you don't know about art bro 🤫👨🏼‍🎨 yourinstagram marcusstoinis the technique was questionable but the painter did a good job. His partner on the other hand did a marvelous job ❤️ would recommend their job if you are moving into a new house too 👍🏽 cholestroll 😂❤️

lewishamilton see you soon for the next aventure sis 😎🪂

tinistoessel te adoro muñeca 💖

andrew_allen we might have the next Alex Morgan in our hands 😮‍💨

itsvittoriasousa she said she wants to be a champ like "unca benny" 😅 yourinstagram itsvittoriasousa nah I think she said she /wants/ unca benny, little trouble gave me the stink eye whenever I got too close and didn't let me play 😂 andrew_allen 😅

user i guess it is official official now so welcome to the family dad rubendias

user2 pics 5, 6 & 9 called me single in too many different languages 😭

user3 IZA IS GETTING SO BIG!!!!

user4 sunglasses on, hand behing her back... baby iza means business

user5 OMG IT'S ED!!! ARE U GUYS COLLABING AGAIN???!!! 😭😍

user6 I really hope next year she is as active on sm as she was before, I miss her too much 🥺

user7 shut up they are the fucking cutest couple already 😍

user8 this is what she deserves!! looots of love and someone who knows how to treat a queen right

rubendias Mô ❤️

userA EEEEEEEEEEKKK!!! 😍😭😍😭 userB any portuguese or brazilian kind enough to tell us what he means? 😩 userC It's an informal abbreviation of "amor" (love), he is calling her love ❤️

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─── Please don't forget to reblog and/or comment! ♡

[gyundo]

“My Delectable Treat”

Sim Jaeyun (Jake) x Male Reader

SMUT! DNI if under 18

Plot: Jake and Y/N have a special moment at a fansign, allowing a very steamy night, in particular, to occur.

Y/N, a high school student, was struck by the pandemic as off-guard as everyone else. He had been stuck in the daily cycle of school-eat-study-sleep repeat for so long that he was completely lost on how to make use of the abundant free time he had.

As he found himself exploring the internet, he stumbled upon I-Land. Quickly interested in the competition show, he began learning about the how celebrities were “constructed” in Korea, and he also became a fan of one of the trainees in particular, Jake Sim.

With his cute face and astoundingly attractive aussie accent, Y/N found himself quickly rooting for one of the most talented participants and hoped that his favorite would make it into the final lineup.

Days of waiting and supporting his favorite with comments under each video finally payed off when Jake was announced to be in the final lineup. Y/N found himself so happy, he did not even realize when the tears began to flow down his cheeks. Even though all of his interactions with Jake had been one-sided, which was Jake simply talking to the camera, Y/N felt a sense of pride like someone close to him had just won.

Supporting ENHYPEN through their first comeback, Fever, and begging his parents to allow him to buy an album, Y/N found himself smiling even more when upon unboxing the album, he discovered he got a Jake photocard.

Seeing his idol making a cute kissy face and not being able to resist his beautiful black orbs, Y/N kissed the photocard before putting it in his phone cover.

Y/N religiously carried his precious Jakie around with him wherever he went, all the while stalking the group youtube channel for new vlogs for him to see his favorite.

With more comebacks and concepts, Y/N saw Jake transform from a youthful, bright boy in his teens to a daddy with the most attractive actions. From the way he began to lick his lips to the way his jawline and features became more prominent, Y/N could not help but feel a tent in his pants forming. Seeing the way his bias’s attractive hairstyles accentuated his features and his confidence-filled winks and lip bites just emanated sexiness, Y/N could only fantasize about being touched by Jake and found his lower half become painfully big as nothing could seem to ease the discomfort.

Y/N found himself crying himself to sleep more than once. He felt like in the sea of ENHYPEN fans, he was nobody to Jake, even though he was one of Jake’s first fans who supported him throughout I-Land and from a rookie group to one of the most successful and well-known fourth generation groups. He wanted to let Jake know about how he supported him, felt like he knew him, and wanted him badly.

Y/N kept supporting ENHYPEN in each comeback by buying albums, but the realization that Jake was never going to know who Y/N was broke him each time. Y/N, not that he ever would, could not even try to meet Jake coincidentally at a restaurant or known area where idols are commonly seen because he did not even live in Korea. Of course, Y/N was well aware that doing so would be considered stalking and Jake certainly would not like Y/N intruding on his privacy either.

Stuck in his one-sides admiration, Y/N could only meet with Jake in his dreams that were fueled by the hours he spent everyday watching enha content.

Y/N still kept buying albums, and it was not long before there was another comeback and Y/N was hoping for a Jake pc once again. In a strange turn of events, Y/N not only realized that he got another Jake pc, but he also won a ticket to a fan sign.

The chance to meet with ENHYPEN and to finally look his bias in the eye made Y/N gush with excitement. He felt like his hopes and dreams could finally come true, even if he couldn’t have Jake, at least Jake would know Y/N existed.

Y/N could not fall asleep for weeks before the day of sign, simply out of excitement. He worked to get all of his school work done for the days he would be away in Korea for the fansign. Now in his final year of high school, Y/N had been working a job and had enough money to travel to Seoul. He booked the tickets a few days before and often laid down on his bed, staring at the ceiling with a smile.

Y/N’s smile never faded, all throughout security, his flight to Seoul, and taxi ride to the hotel room. Y/a was overjoyed to know that he would be seeing his Jake the next day, and he went out to purchase a few things as gifts for him.

Y/N arrived at the venue of the fansign and felt his heart beating. As he walked out of the security check and into the area where the event was to take place, Y/N’s heart dropped. He saw a line of around 25 people in front of him, all of whom were young Korean girls or teenagers. Y/N’s smile immediately turned into a frown as he suddenly felt self-conscious and out of place. Y/N began to question if it was normal for a guy to support a male idol so much and was scared of Jake feeling awkward around him because of this. As he saw the line getting shorter, he became able to see Jake with more detail and clairity.

The way Jake’s face shined and the way his eyes and wavy hair gave a look full of attractiveness and wonder, Y/N became more nervous about meeting Jake. The time finally came when Y/N was in front of Jake.

Jake looked into Y/N’s eyes with the most non-judge mental, friendly look possible, which took away all of Y/N’s fear.

“Hi, what’s your name,” Jake politely asked as he took a good look at the other male. Jake’s attention was finally caught by the fact that a male had finally come, after the huge flurry of female fans.

“I’m Y/N L/N! I’ve been supporting you forever since the first episode of I-LAND, and I’ve been buying albums for every comeback,” Y/N quickly announces as he saw Jake smiling while signing his album.

“I’m so happy to hear that, Y/N. I hope you’ll continue to support us,” Jake said with an angelic smirk. In fact, Jake was smiling because of Y/N’s words just as much as of Y/N himself. Seeing the other boy’s beautiful, jewel-like eyes and cutely parted, pink lips with a nice tuft of hair prettily covering an area of his forehead, Jake couldn’t help but stare. Unfortunately, Jake knew his limits as an idol and Y/N knew his as a fan. Jake handed Y/N his album back, and Jake kept looking at Y/N until the distance between the two became too much for him to see anymore.

Y/N felt like he was on cloud nine after finally being able to meet the object of his affections and getting Jake’s attention. He quickly made his way back to the hotel room, albeit feeling a little upset that talking to Jake for 2 minutes was the most he could interact with him. He still wanted to get to know Jake and be close to him, and talk for hours on end. The realization that Y/N would never see Jake again in real life hit him like a truck, as he found fat tears rolling down his eyes as he entered his hotel room.

He fell face down onto the bed and began crying as he questioned why he felt such an attachment towards a celebrity who didn’t even know him and grieved as he thought Jake would probably forget about him anyways, since ENHYPEN had so many fans visit them during fansigns.

Getting up out of the bed with swollen, reddened eyes, Y/N tried to console himself by finally taking a look at what Jake wrote inside the album. Y/N’s jaw dropped as he read what was written.

“Thanks for all of your support, Y/N! We don’t have many male fans and you’re the first to ever come to a fansign, so I’ll certainly remember you if you come to a concert someday! Also, you’re really cute and text me at XXX-XXX-XXXX.”

Y/N couldn’t believe that Jake had given him his number, this only happened in fanfictions. His hand shook as he sent Jake a text with the message “Hi, it’s Y/N L/N. You’re also stupidly handsome.”

Y/N walked to the convenience store for dinner with a new pep in his step. He had just been noticed by not just any idol, but Jake Sim, and got his phone number as well. He was eating his shin ramyun quite aggressively, as he hadn’t eaten much throughout the day and was starved. He was on a particularly forceful slurp when he saw a response from Jake, quickly finishing off the bite so he could see what was written.

Jake wrote, “ Hey cutie 😏, wanna go somewhere tmrw?” Y/N nearly leaped out of joy as he replied with an affirmative immediately. Once he got back to his hotel room, the two began to text back and forth for the whole night, as they slowly learned more about each other and the attraction reached new heights.

Morning could not seem soon enough, and Y/N made sure to get to the mall where Jake and Y/N were to have their “date”, or that’s at least what Y/N thought it was. Standing by the entrance, he waited, scanning each face until he found the one he was looking force.

Even hidden behind a black mask, Y/N recognized the silky, wavy brown hair with a middle part and the eyes that seemed full of both purity and like they were hiding a secret. Jake seemed to recognize Y/N at the same time, suddenly grabbing his hand and running to the nearest bathroom.

“J-Jake, where are we going?” Y/N questioned, completely puzzled by his idol’s brazenness.

Jake remained silent as he kept dragging Y/N into the most isolated bathroom down a long corridor. Upon opening the door and confirming it was empty, Jake took off his mask.

Y/N watched with infatuation as the rest of Jake’s impeccable face was revealed. Seeing him up close, Y/N noticed the smoothness of his skin, the velvety honey like color that made Y/N want to have a taste, and the red, smooth lips that adorned his face.

Jake responded, “I’m sorry I had to do that so abruptly, I saw the paparazzi behind me and I had to get away from their camera. Let’s stay here for a few minutes until the coast is clear.”

Y/N replied with a nod, secretly celebrating that he had more time to look at Jake. The boy still had not let go of his hand, and was instead looking into his eyes. Y/N couldn’t help but feel that Jake was attracted to him as well, and he moved his lips closer to Jake’s.

Feeling the need to close the distance from looking at Y/N, Jake quickly closed the distance between their lips. Y/N felt the gentle pressure from Jake’s lips, commencing a flow of euphoria throughout his body. Y/N put his hands around Jake’s neck as Jake reached down for the waist of his object of affection. Jake leaned into the kiss more and slightly moved his lips to create a pleasurable friction. Y/N was quick to adjust his lips accordingly so they perfectly met Jake’s.

“You’re such a good kisser,” Jake sighed with a low tone while catching his breath.

“It was my first kiss, it was probably all you,” Y/N flirted back equally.

Jake was surprised to hear about him being Y/N first kiss, but this only gave his ego a boost. Inquiring more, Y/N explained to him the story of his one-sided love and support for Jake, which as a side effect, prevented him from engaging in any other romantic relations.

“Shall we go now?” Jake inquired from Y/N with his prominent aussie accent that only made him more irresistible in the eyes of Y/N.

Y/N responded with an affirmative, and the two set out to explore the mall. From the coffee shop to the clothing stores, Y/N and Jake explored every area of the mall, the small things they saw indicating their personalities, interests, likes, and dislikes. As the two bonded more, they didn’t realize that the mall was about to close until an announcement was made.

“Can I drop you off somewhere, babe,” Jake lovingly asked Y/N.

Flustered with how fast they were moving, but obsessed with the thought of having a date with his longtime lover (at least in his heart), THE Sim Jaeyun, Y/N could not help but exclaim, “YES!” with enthusiasm. He then gave Jake the location of the hotel as the two got into an Uber.

“You don’t live in Seoul?” Jake inquisitively spoke to Y/N.

“N-No, I’m from America,” Y/N lowly muttered while avoiding eye contact, aware that Jake’s expression would be one of sadness.

“So does that mean you came all the way here just to see me?” Jake continued.

“Mhm, I turned 18 not too long ago and so I was able to come here by myself to see you. I worked hard to make enough money for the costs, but it all was worth it,” Y/N smiled with the most innocent grin.

Jake, looking calm but simply baffled and unable to wrap his head around the idea that somebody could like him that much, blushed furiously.

Jake cracked a joke about how attractive he must be if Y/N liked him that much, to which Y/N blushed with even more fury than Jake, while the older laughed.

The duo soon reached the hotel, and Y/N invited Jake to come inside while they talked some more. Y/N learned more about Jake’s interests and hobbies, as well as his personality off-camera, which was different than expected, but still lovable. Jake couldn’t help but look at Y/N’s cute eyes and the facial expressions he made as the two flirted.

“Would you like to just stay over,” Y/N offered to Jake kindly, but clearly smitten.

Jake’s pants felt a tightening that he had been controlling ever since watching the cute expressions and movements of Y/N. The smooth skin exposed by the loose neck of the t-shirt he was wearing only seemed to be calling for Jake to come and mark that area as his.

“Thanks love, I’ll take you up on that. I’ll just go and take a shower first.” Jake announced while thinking of the shower as an opportunity to cleanse his mind of any dirty thoughts. Y/N handed him some clean clothes, watching as Jake made his way into the bathroom.

As Jake’s dirty thoughts faded, Y/N’s became stronger. He could not stop thinking about the way Jake smirked confidently smirked at him, the deep sound of his voice, the perfect amalgamation of facial features on one person, and the eyes that seemed to be capable of a dirty secret. So attracted to his face, his habit of licking his lips, and filled with the thought of their kiss earlier in the day, Y/N’s pants became filled with a bulge that he tried to ease up by massaging.

Just as Y/N was making his attempts to ease his hard-on, he heard sound of Jake coming out of the bathroom and grabbed his pajamas and towel. The minute Jake walked out, Y/N, with his head down, briskly walked into the bathroom as to avoid eye contact with the older that would excite his boner even more.

While cleansing his thoughts in the shower, Jake lied down on the one bed in the room and thought about how lucky he had been to be able to meet someone dedicated to just him and not only obsessed with the outer version of himself. Y/N was truly loving every bit of Jake that he revealed, evident through the younger’s eyes.

As Y/N walked out of the bathroom, all thoughts of purity escaped Jake. He stared at the way Y/N’s hair clinged to his forehead, the way his exposed skin was inviting a sensual adventure, and the steam escaping his barely-parted lips. Jake’s cock grew immensely, to a point where he could not hide it anymore and he didn’t care.

Making eye contact with the older for the first time after the shower, Y/N couldn’t help but notice the definition on Jake’s body that the semi-wet t-shirt gave him. Perfectly sculpted abs and plump pecs made Y/N lower body quiver, as he noticed the unique way Jake looked at him. With an inviting and lustful gaze that was threatening to corrupt him and large cock that stuck out under Jake’s sleepwear, Y/N slowly made his way over to Jake as his breathing became erratic and his face became red.

“Commie here, Y/N-N,” Jake beckoned.

Y/N complied by nervously lying down next to Jake. Purposefully trying to elicit a reaction, Jake did not say anything to Y/N but saw something growing in the younger’s pants while he closed his eyes out of embarrassment. The truth was that Y/N had been thinking, no fantasizing, about having Jake take care of his sexual needs and desires that the older was causing him to have.

Jake pulled Y/N into an embrace that allowed every inch of their bodies to touch. Jake could feel the heavy beating of the younger’s heart and stared right into his (Y/N eye color) orbs, pulling him into a deep kiss at the same time. The way Jake’s tongue swirled around Y/N’s lips and finally entered his mouth, sealed with Jake’s own lips, made Y/N groan out of pleasure.

Feeling every inch of his tongue getting licked and stimulated by that of the man he wanted the most gave him a satisfaction like no other. Y/N felt his hardness rub against Jake’s much larger one, pressing down to give the two more pleasure.

Jake responded, “Fuck M/N, You’re only 18. I didn’t think you could be this dirty minded,” before flipping the two over so Y/N was now on the bottom. The older suddenly pulled Y/N’s shirt up, causing Y/N to yelp out of surprise.

“It’s so cold hyung, I need to be warmed up,” Y/N spoke with a suggestive voice. The former was proved true by the way Y/N’s nipples stood up, prompting Jake to lean in and suck on one.

“Mmph-Haa JAKE,” Y/N yelled out upon the strange feeling of having his nipples licked and stimulated so strongly. Jake’s suction only grew more as Y/N began to yell out more, the way his tongue licked his nipple sending waves of pleasure throughout the younger’s body.

A string of saliva connected Y/N’s now swollen, reddened nipple with Jake’s lips. As Y/N slowly came back to his senses, he heard Jake whisper, “We can’t leave the other one not looking the same can we now?”

Y/N’s eyes filled with concern but Jake moved his mouth onto Y/N’s other nipple, prompting more groans and sounds of pleasure to be released as it slowly grew to the size of the other. Suckling from his right nipple caused Y/N’s cock to grow further, which Jake noticed and began to rub his own, clothed member over.

Jake moved his face over to Y/N once more, where he could see the lust in his eyes. Y/N was tempted by the moistness on his lips and captured it with his own once again, commencing a delicate tongue dance that made both feel as if they could not hold back any longer.

Y/N’s hyung slid his hand under Y/N’s own cock and began palming him while the two made out further.

Jake broke the kiss abruptly, “I need more Y/N, and I can’t hold back anymore.” He slid off Y/N’s pajamas while bringing his crotch closer to Y/N’s face.

Aware of exactly what the older wanted, Y/N pulled down Jake’s pajamas, greeted by a thick, veiny cock leaking with delicious precum. Believing it to be his opportunity to make his man feel good, Y/N immediately began licking and suckling the older’s tip.

“Awh yeah, just like that Y/N. My cock is only for you and nobody else,” Jake moaned out. Y/N began to deepthroat and explore every vein on Jake’s cock with his tongue. Jake belonged to Y/N and it was his right to enjoy every inch of him. Seeing Jake’s sexy expression with his tongue sticking out slightly while he bit his lips, Y/N could not help but suck him more.

Due to Y/N giving special attention to the tip, Jake yelled out, “F-fuck Y/NNN, who knew a young boy like you could make me feel so wild. Suck on my dick harder like you mean it.”

Y/N began sucking and licking Jake’s cock with such intensity that his hyung could not help but groan and thrust softly into Y/N’s warm, tight throat. Y/N was enjoying Jake’s dick like his favorite mango ice cream bar, while Jake was enjoying all the attention from the dongsaeng he managed to seduce.

Neither of them could seem to get enough. Y/N’s wet cavern that was spewing gushing noises and making Jake’s cock all wet and stimulated was almost enough for Jake to cum, just as Y/N felt himself nearly coming from having his throat filled and fucked so well.

“You want hyung to wreck your boy hole, huh Y/N?” Jake sexily moaned into Y/N’s.

Y/N responded by immediately kissing Jake and whispering back, “Please please please Jake, fuck me right now. I’m so needy and i’ve been saving myself for you. Only you can satisfy me, claim my hole as yours, daddy.”

Jake’s cock instantaneously grew more and became almost rock hard as he began to reach for the condom inside the side table drawer that he had checked earlier. His actions were met by a slap from Y/N’s hand that caused the condom to fly out of the older’s hand.

“I didn’t save myself for you just so you could do me with a barrier. Jake, I need you to breed me and pump me full of your cum. Your cock and your cum is mine and mine alone,” Y/N explained while rubbing his hand over Jake’s hard abs.

“Such a sexy and cute boy, I can’t believe I found you,” Jake said while staring into Y/N’s lustful eyes.

Jake flipped over Y/N so his quivering hole could be seen, and aligned his cock to it.

“This is gonna hurt, you slut, but you wanted it,” Jake slyly announced to Y/N, who could feel the weight of the cock right behind him, with its girth and length threatening to stretch out Y/N to the maximum.

“AAAH,” Y/N moaned out as Jake thrusted his large cock directly into his ass. His ass felt so painful, like it had been torn in many different places. He wanted Jake inside him and finally had him, but the pain was far worse than he expected. His being felt so full, however, like having a permanent itch soothed.

“So tight for me, my dongsaeng,” Jake groaned out as he saw Y/N adjusting. Tears began falling out of Y/N’s eyes, but Jake leaned in to kiss his cheeks to distract him.

“Be rough with me, okay Jake?” Y/N commanded Jake after a minute of silence.

“Whatever my Y/Nie wants, he will get” Jake responded as he pulled out of Y/N while leaning the tip and swiftly thrusting his humongous length inside.

“HAAH-HYUNG,” Y/N yelled out, “MORE I WANT IT MORE!”

Jake grabbed Y/N’s arms, pinning them behind his back and he began to roughly thrust at an animalistic pace. He pounded Y/N firmly, over and over again, without fail. His large cock filled all of Y/N’s anus as he continued to wreck the younger boy’s hole too good.

With the swelling from the intrusion and slight injury kicking in, Jake seemed to feel an even stronger tightness around his cock, “Such a perfect hole saved just for me to fuck and claim. I’m gonna make you addicted to this feeling, Y/N”.

Jake began to fuck Y/N more slowly until he finally felt Y/N’s body shake after he rubbed his cock against his prostate.

“UNGGH, RIGHT THERE JAKE. FUCK ME LIKE YOU MEAN IT DADDY,” Y/N moaned out as waves of pleasure from having his prostate stimulated made his mind go blank.

Jake replied with thrusts at an animalistic pace, as he was following through with his promise to breed Y/N like an animal. Jake’s cock felt perfectly enveloped by Y/N squelching, warm hole that seemed to fit his cock better by the minute.

The sound of Jake’s golf ball sized testicles hitting Y/N’s ass filled the room as Y/N enjoyed every minute of being treated like Jake’s personal fleshlight. Being fucked rough his first time like a whore by the man he wanted the most made the experience all too good.

“More, Jakie, more,” Y/N whispered lightly, clearly out of energy from being bred so hard, yet still wanting more. Jake complied with more thrusts pushing Y/N to the edge, his cock perfectly stretching out the younger’s boy hole every time.

Jake leaned down to lick Y/N’s earlobe as he placed his abdomen on top of Y/N’s back while thrusting so hard that sounds of the bed frame crashing into the wall repeatedly filled the room.

Y/N, filled with immense pleasure and loving every second of his tight hole being wrecked and mangled by every vein on Jake’s juicy cock, began licking and feeling up Jake’s large biceps.

“So-So BIG, hyung,” Y/N yelled out for the whole world to know as he enjoyed being devoured by the one and only Sim Jaeyun.

“My cock or my body, Y/N?” Jake responded with a smirk and a sudden thrust that left Y/N mouth and asshole alike agape.

“Everything is so big about you hyunGGG,” Y/N managed to mutter out in the middle of a thrust that sent another wave of pleasure, “Your dick, your abs, your biceps, your heart, everything”.

Y/N’s lower body felt tingly as his prostrate was abused over and over by Jake’s unrelenting thrusts, and sudden propulsions kept him on edge. Jake, satisfied with Y/N‘s response, wanted to fuck Y/N so good that he would never imagine being able to enjoy a cock other than his own.

Jake’s cock began to slide in easier and grant him more pleasure with the precum that he painted all over Y/N’s formerly virgin walls. He was determined to show the younger that he owned him and that Y/N was Jake’s personal thing.

“Do you want Jake’s cum in you, huh, Y/N?” Jake questioned the younger while continuously shoving his cock into a hole that had become more accustomed to the intrusion over the last half hour.

“YES PLEASE I NEED IT. MY HOLE NEEDS IT JAKEE,” Y/N yelled out of desperation.

Reaching his climax, Jake’s cock turned inconceivably hard as his thrusts became sloppy and rougher. Jake released a copious amount of cum into the younger, with spurts of cum continuously flowing out.

Y/N, full of the sensation of being filled with a large cock and warmed up by an immeasurable amount of Jake’s hot semen, felt his own orgasm near as Jake thrusted in him one last time. The thrust was enough for Y/N to shower spurts of cum all over his chest and the sheets.

“I finally have your cum, hyung. You’ve finally marked me as yours and bred me,” Y/N let out with satisfaction.

“That was fabulous, my delectable treat,” Jake softly spoke to Y/N while scooping his cum up and licking it all off his fingers. Jake’s cum continued to gush inside Y/N as his reddened hole was held shut by the base of Jake’s cock still inside him.

[anemoiashifts]

a collective shifting reading.

hi guys :) if you’re seeing this on tumblr that means you’re getting this three hours early but 7.10 is the anemoiashifts tiktok accounts first birthday 🎂🤍 !

i wanted to do something special & originally i wanted to talk about the first time — and only time — that i have shifted but i don’t think im ready to share something that personal to hundreds of strangers on the internet. then, i was going to do a q&a but i thought that would be a little lazy, then i thought about going live & doing live shifting readings on tiktok but im a pretty shy person so that idea went out the window as quickly as it came. so i hope this video will do :) !

this is a collective shifting reading for all of my followers or anyone who comes across this. this reading is going to be a little longer then my previous ones because i want to provide as much clarity as i can to try & help you guys ⊹ ₊ ⟡ ⋆

who this is for ₊˚ෆ

this reading is for everyone who has shown me support within the past year or decided to stick around for whatever reason; even if this video magically stumbles upon your path. but here are some specifics that ive picked up on:

star or heart shaped jewelry (rings, bracelets, necklaces, etc.) specially, silver jewelry or silver in general. maybe you’re someone who doesn’t take well to criticism. if you have a connection to foxes, mice / rats or house cats. shiny & holographic clothing. soft makeup shades (baby pink, nudes, baby blue).

reading ₊˚ෆ

your biggest “blockade” is your over commitment to your desired reality & shifting as a whole. there needs to be balance or you are pouting yourself at risk for losing your sense of self & going into a downwards spiral. your relationship with shifting is filled with limerence instead of taking control of your life & looking at your life (here or in your dr) long term. you may have multiple dr’s which only fuel that fascination with shifting as a concept. you want to experience so many different things, but you can’t do everything all at once. you have made too many commitments at once. to provide that clarity to yourself, focus on one place at a time. the reason you are so disconnected to your dr is because you’re trying to simultaneously connect with the ten others that you have in that works.

you already understand what doesn’t serve you, doesn’t serve you. weather that be patterns or methods or mindset. you have already let go of them. you don’t need to rehash what you already know. while nostalgic, the era of 2020 / 2021 shiftok has ended & looking back on the past is pointless. because of this looking back to this era with such a yearning to re-spark that initial excitement that you had when the idea of shifting was shown to you, it can quickly become a distraction; reminiscing instead of reigniting.

if you feel stuck, it’s because you feel directionless in your shifting journey. you have so many ideas & so much you want to do but feel lost at sea. you are struggling yo see progress or success. without looking back on what no longer serves you, go back to what you want to get out of shifting. to get out of this never ending cycle, you need to take responsibility for yourself & journey. you also need to recognize the power you already hold. nothing separates a “successful” shifter from a non successful shifter other then how you personally choose to define it. this could be a reflection of your lack of self confidence & be a sign to honoring yourself. how your view yourself, dictates your relationships with other people & how you show up in the world. you could be repressing traumas & emotions & trying to put a band aid over them though shifting. if you feel shame or stupid for putting in energy to reality shift, don't. if it brings you joy then know anything that brings you happiness is worth it & never a waste.

thank you for reading & i hope this resonated with you & you were able to maybe see your journey in a new light or get some clarity. i love you so very much !! ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀ !!

[auspicioustidings]

Ew i'm not donating to future terrorists 🖕

Only going to address this once because I do not believe for a second you are actually serious, you just enjoy rage baiting.

1. If you truly think a charity that helps CHILDREN with medical needs is not a worthwhile cause, you have lost all empathy and honestly should consider walking into the fucking sea.

2. If you were looking at that charity it was because you were considering tipping ME. You do not know me. You have no idea what I'd be doing with that money. But let me make it clear I'm a fucking flaming intersectional feminist socialist, so that's who you'd be giving money to.

3. This is a war criminal video game fanfic blog where I make them kiss for my entertainment. Be so for fucking real right now, if you actually held any convictions this is not the place you'd be discussing them.

4. I get that rage baiting is fun. It gives you a little adrenaline boost to get a reply, to have people be mad at you. I need you to consider that doing shit on the internet to get negative replies to give you that rush is digital self-harm.

5. If that is the case, stop using the suffering and murder of children to facilitate your own poor coping mechanisms. I promise you that in a few years time you will feel nauseous at your own behaviour.

6. If against all chances you are actually just a Zionist who supports genocide fuck off. Fuck all the way off. Let me make it incredibly clear I am anti-Zionist and anti-colonialism and I will not be changing my mind. I am also not here to educate you because again, STUPID VIDEO GAME FANFIC BLOG. Go fucking argue with a wall.

[potato-lord-but-not]

hihi!! I'm just sneaking into your askbox because I was curious; how did you go about starting doing commissions (I'm aware you're not doin em right now)? because I'm thinking about trying to start doing commissions and I have no idea where to start :'>

well honestly you can price them however you feel is best and present it all nice and comprehensive, but if you don’t already have at least a handful of people who already want to commission you it’s gonna be a s t r u g g l e. Like I have a large enough following that when I do open up commissions again I’ll probably have to limit how many I do at a time-

I guess you’ll really want to get your mutuals to share it, target some fandoms you post about often, that sorta thing. Don’t let the lack of people interested get ya down, that indicates nothing about your skills. It’s just a matter of getting lost in the sea that is the internet, but sometimes you get picked up and it’s smooth sailing from there. Good luck !!

(SIDE NOTE- I’ve seen some people do pricing based off of sketch, lineart, flat color, and fully rendered, which is something you can do!! I thought it would be easier to just do fully colored with busts, waist ups, and full bodies being my different pricing, bc my process just doesn’t mesh well with the other type. You can also offer lesser polished and cheaper options, they don’t take up much time but you still get paid and the other person gets their silly adorable doodle)

[into-the-grey]

~I Can't Carry This Anymore~ ALT Version

Noah x F!Reader Fic

PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS. THIS ONE IS DARK.

Warnings: Mentions of suicide, depression,mental illness, burnout, blood, and death. This one is SAD, you have been warned.

WC: 1.7k

Taglist: @wh0th3h3llisbucky @blend-in-with-the-madness

I came across an old story I wrote for an assignment in a writing course, and it gave me this idea. I apologise in advance, this one is VERY trigger warning heavy, please, if you're not able to handle this one, don't force yourself through it. While I may not shy away from these topics, please do NOT try to handle it if you aren't able to.

I have also posted the original edition, which is also possibly triggering, but doesn't contain suicide material, but does contain talk of school shootings. You can read that one here if you feel safe to do so.

I acknowledge the sensitive nature of some of the topics discussed in this duo of stories, and please don't think I'm glorifying them or encouraging them. If anything, I beg of you, if you don't think you can handle these triggers, or your mental state is fragile in any way, PLEASE give these ones a miss and go read something fluffy. (yes I'm putting this on both.)

I know I'm probably being dramatic, it's probably nowhere near as graphic as I think, but the internet is a different place than it was when I was 14 and I just don't want anyone to suffer because I'm an idiot that enjoys writing about heavy shit.

The room was quiet, the lights off and the world outside was dim. Rain pattered softly on the window, the gauzy grey curtains masking the little light that peered through, casting shadows over your desk. 

You sat at your desk, staring at the floor. It had been a while since your mind worked the way you wanted it to. Everything seemed to blur together, and you could hardly focus on the things you wanted to. It didn't matter how hard you tried, it was like words swam on the page when you tried to read, and everything outside your home felt dangerous. You felt unwelcome, so you stayed in your room.

The only interruption to your unending solitude was him. Noah. He would come and visit you sometimes, and he would talk to you for hours.

Today was one of those days. You knew it would be, but you weren't sure why. You just felt it in the air.

You heard his slow footsteps trudging up the stairs in the late afternoon. He had probably come from the studio, or maybe he'd been writing at home. You were never sure, but he came. That's what mattered. 

He entered your room silently, closing the door and sitting on your bed. He sat silently for a moment, looking around the space. You gave him his time, letting him find what he wanted to say. You could see in his tense shoulders that it had been a hard day for him too.

'Fuck today has been rough,' he said quietly, confirming your suspicions as he picked at his fingernails. 

'Do you want to talk about it?' You asked him gently, watching him as he swallowed hard. He chewed his lip for a moment, thinking through all the messy thoughts in his mind.

If there was anything you loved about Noah, it was that you could confide in him, and he confided in you. You would bear each other's misery when you needed to, helping each other get back to the good days.

'It's just been a lot to deal with, y'know? There's a lot of pressure from the label, and I'm not sure if I'm ready for the next steps yet. I don't feel like I've had enough time. I feel lost, like everything is so muddled, and I don't know how to straighten it all out.'

You nodded, understanding him perfectly. You had felt the same, drowning in the sea of obligations and the weight of your life pulling you under. 

'If you need more time, tell them. They can't push you to do anything yet, can they?' You said, turning on your chair to face him properly.

He took a shaky breath, glancing in your direction.

'I want to say something to them, to tell them, but how do I know they'll understand?' he huffed softly, his eyes lowering to his hands again, picking at a loose thread on the hem of his black hoodie. 'The guys get it, they're supportive, but the label... Don't get me wrong, I love what I do, but this... it's a lot to process...'

'I know baby, I'm sorry,' you sighed. 'At least you have the guys. You're not alone in this, they can help you advocate for yourself.'

'They try to advocate for me, but they're still reeling too.' He sniffed hard, tears coming to his eyes. 'Everything just stopped, and it was out of nowhere. Sure, I guess we should have seen it coming, I'm sure it was building up for a long time, but we just... we didn't. I hate that we didn't see it, we could have done something, and we wouldn't have to do this. I feel like it's my fault.'

'Noah, baby, this is not your fault-'

'I know it's not, but I can't shake the feeling. I feel like I should have tried harder. It's been months of this, and I can't stop feeling this way.'

His shoulders shook as he breathed, leaning over and resting his elbows on his knees. He couldn't seem to meet your eye. You could feel the heaviness of his shame radiating off of him, and it broke your heart.

'Noah, it'll be alright, I promise,' you told him, standing from your seat and standing awkwardly by him. 

'One day it'll be better, I just wish I knew when,' he whispered.

You knelt down in front of him, searching his eyes in the low light. They glistened with heavy tears that started to trickle down his cheeks. He squeezed his eyes shut tight, unable to look at you. The guilt made his lip tremble, locking his fingers together tightly.

'So do I,' you told him, reaching for his hands. He stood, leaving your fingers hanging in mid-air as he crossed the room to look out the window.

'I haven't been able to sleep. The things people say, it's all I can hear...' He thumbed over a figurine on the windowsill, the porcelain cat cold beneath his fingers. 

'Don't listen to them. You don't owe them anything, not your time, not your energy. You need to focus on you, baby.' 

You stood, taking his place on the bed and watching him as he traced raindrops that ran down the window. You could see a hint of his reflection on the glass, catching the sad smile on his lips as stared out the foggy glass. 

'Do you remember when we were kids? How we used to be outside in weather like this, jumping in puddles and slinging mud at each other until your mom had to hose us off?' he asked with a melancholy chuckle.

'I do,' you nodded. 'I remember when we tried to build a sand-castle out of mud, and it just kept collapsing. You were so determined to make it work.'

'Things were so much easier back then. So much simpler, no deadlines, no commitments, no gossip or rumours. I miss those days.' He huffed a laugh to himself, tears still dribbling down his cheeks.

'I know. I wish things could still be like that.'

He nodded, turning around and looking over the room. You watched as his eyes took in every picture, every painting, every memory that gilded the walls. You followed his gaze, feeling tears pricking your eyes as you saw his smiling face in so many of the photo frames.

He seemed to focus on the same one you did. Your favourite picture, the two of you bundled up in thick jackets and huge gloves, you with a beaming smile and him with all the love in the world in his eyes as he looked at you. His long hair blew around his face as he grinned at you, the camera in his hand as he took the selfie. You had never seen snow like that before, but he wanted to show you.

You were so young, so stupid, and so in love.

'I wish I'd told you that day that I loved you,' he breathed. 'I wish I hadn't waited.'

'I knew, love,' you told him, glancing back at him. He stood with his arms crossed, trying to look casual, but you knew he was desperately trying to hold himself together while he longed for better times.

'I know you knew, but I still wish I'd said it. We could have had so much more time together...'

'We were still together, Noah, we were still as close as ever.'

'It wasn't enough.'

You watched the memories dance across his mind, seeing him process every single one. The good days, the bad days, the worst days.

Noah let himself slide down the wall in front of the window, looking at the floor. If he looked hard enough, he was sure he could still see it. The remnants of the worst memory.

'I'm sorry you had to see me like that, Noah,' you said quietly, knowing exactly where his mind was. 'I don't know what I was thinking.'

'I know exactly what you were thinking,' he sighed. 'You felt as alone as I do right now, and that was my fault. I should have been here for you. Everything went so wrong, so fast, and I wasn't there for you.'

'You were busy, love. Your career was taking off, you had so much to do, I couldn't put all of my shit on you. It wasn't fair to expect you to carry my load when you already had the world on your shoulders.'

'I don't care, I should have been there,' he coughed, clearing his throat. 

'I wish you weren't...' 

Your admission hung in the air, falling on his deaf ears. He sat silently for a little while, just listening to the sound of the rain on the glass. You knew he was picturing it, seeing how you struggled to breathe, how you had detroyed the rug with your blood, how you were so pale...

The rug was long gone, but the memories would always remain.

He finally stood, and you mirrored his movements, following him to the door.

'I have to go, we have another dinner meeting tonight, but I'll be back,' he promised, his hand on the doorknob.

'I'll be here,' you told him, resting your hand on his shoulder. He looked back at you, his lips pulling into a tight smile as the tears fell faster. His hand raised, touching his fingers to yours on his skin. The sob he choked back broke his heart, seeing his lip curl back over his teeth as he squeezed his eyes shut.

'I love you,' he told you, his voice wavering. 'I love you so fucking much, and I miss you every single day.'

You wished he could feel you as you wrapped your arms around him, your cheek resting between his shoulders and holding him together as best you could.

'I love you,' you told him, praying that he could hear you, 'and I'm always with you. I'm so fucking sorry, Noah.'

He pulled himself together as best he could, but your family was used to seeing him leave in tears. He opened the door, and he stepped from your grip, turning and looking back into the empty room you were trapped in.

For just a moment, his eyes met yours. You could have sworn that he could finally see you, just for a second. His trembling hand raised, reaching towards your face as he blinked through his tears.

'I love you,' he whispered again.

'I love you,' you whispered back.

His hand dropped back to his side, and he stepped away, closing the door behind him.

You sat back on your bed, staring hard at the floor as you listened to his footsteps trudge away, your heart breaking in your empty chest. Regret had never been so heavy.

Death didn't solve a thing. So why did you do it?

Why did you kill yourself?

[darkmagyk]

stranded due to inclement weather & pwp - percabeth

Because of the prompt, this one has a little bit of sex in it. Honestly, I don't think it's graphic. But not reason to bombard people.

“We are never doing this again,” Annabeth complained. “It is the beach or bust from now on. I know you can handle a hurricane.”

“Love the faith, babe,” Percy said, but he pulled her closer, too. The cabin had plenty of blankets, and there was plenty of wood for the stove. But still, nothing beat his wife for warmth.

“Do you disagree.”

“Not at all, you’re the one who said you wanted neutral territory.”

Meaning for their weekend getaway babymoon, instead of going out to Montauk or San Francisco or Boston or anywhere else that had a pier or a wharf or a beach, they’d try something completely different, and had rented a little cabin up in the Adirondack.

It was supposed to be isolated, but supremely comfortable. Water and electricity but no internet or cell service. With a series of relatively easy hiking trails around it and a beautiful porch featuring a hot tube they could not use but great views of the changing fall leaves.

Annabeth had brought some nålebinding, Percy had brought Insula Thesauraria and Superbia et Odium at Paul’s suggestion. And they had brought a treasure trove of ingredients so when Percy got sick and tired of reading, he cook them a feast.

It was Sunday evening. They were supposed to leave 3 hours ago. Instead, a freak, late fall Nor’easter had decided to blow through. They had lost power around noon, though Percy was able to keep the pipes running. They’d used an Iris Message to contact her dad at home, and get a confirmation on the weather, and that he could keep babysitting for the next day or so, depending on how long it would take to go.

Then they’d gone back to their favorite babymoon activity. Practicing for the next one. But Percy need some recovery time.

“I didn’t know we were going to get snowed in.” “I mean, you’re the viking princess. Would have thought this was just your speed.”

She stuck her tongue out at him, “The Vikings were all about their boats, you know that. Not remote mountain cabins.”

“Yeah,” He said, “that’s why you like me so much.” He ran his hand down her side, brushing along where the curve of her belly started to jut out, and then down further.

“Are you ready again?” She asked, not quite breathless, but with an anticipatory quiver to her voice.

“No,” he said, sitting up, “but I think you are, aren’t you Princess?”

She shivered, maybe at his touch, maybe at the pet name.

“Maybe we should play a game.” He offered. “You like games, don’t you.”

She just nodded as his nails scratched lightly through the blonde curls, but did not let his fingers even dip into her folds, let alone brushing her clit or pushing into her cunt.

“You’re a viking princess, I think,” He said, finally running one finger along the inner lips, “who traveled down the Dnieper to capture a poor boy who only knows life by the warm Mediterranean Sea.”

“I captured you?” He was shifting now, moving down, until she couldn't really see his face, blocked as it was, between her thighs, and hidden by her belly.

“Of course, you did, Princess. A fine worrier would certainly have no trouble with such things. But now, we’ve been stuck in a cave, all snowed in. And I’ve decided to turn the tables”

The lore got a little lost, after that. But who needed plot, anyway. Viking Princess Annabeth didn’t mind at all.

[mask131]

Kind of a continuation of my Medusa post? But this time about Poseidon.

I talked in my Medusa post of a trait that... seems to be lost on many people when it comes to the characterization of Poseidon? The fact that Poseidon has not just a bad side, but a dark side, and that he is supposed - in many ways like Hera - to be one of those ambiguous villains or anti-villains of Greek mythology. There's the misinformation that "Hades was a bad guy" and the new false take that "Hades was a good guy", when truth is "Hades was a neutral guy". There's the name TV Tropes and Idioms used to designate falsely presenting a bad god in a good light - "Everybody loves Zeus", and I get it is supposed to be a reverse of "Everybody hates Hates", but this is part of the wave of Zeus-hate by the Internet that literaly covered the fact Zeus was supposed to be the BIG GOOD of Ancient Greece. And the third brother also very clearly falls into the series of mischaracterization as there's this sort of cliche of Poseidon as some sort of chill guy who just hangs around the back of the Greek pantheon and is a cool dude...

... And I blame Percy Jackson for it. Don't get me wrong: I love the Percy Jackson books. But it is not because I love them that I don't recognize their flaws, and that I am not saddened at seeing how their fans warped what Greek mythology is. "Percy Jackson" and affiliated series, due to being a book series about the son of Poseidon, presents Poseidon as this good, benevolent, chill, positive deity. And I respect that, and in fact it came off as a true TWIST back when they were released, and I loved this twist because Poseidon had always been one of my favorite gods. Not only that, but Riordan made clear he knew about the dark and bad side of Poseidon, and tried to work it in his worldbuilding, by having key moments of his books relying on Percy confronting his half-brothers (Procrustes, Polyphemus, Anteus, etc...). In fact, a strong point of the original book series was Percy having to deal with the fact his father could love as much him as these monsters... But unfortunately Riordan apparently did not work on this point enough since the Internet basically decided to make Poseidon an uwu god.

So let's break it down. And if you didn't understand anything I said until this point, don't worry, I explain it all here.

Poseidon was... not supposed to be a wholly good, benevolent, and certainly not kind deity. I mean he has his positive point and his goodness, like all gods - because Greek gods are always neither wholly black or white, but grey (except for these minor gods that are personifications, and that do obey a black-and-white morality). And when you crack open the first Greek mythology manual for children you will often find the description of Poseidon as being just as temperamental and mercurial as the sea: sometimes Poseidon is a calm, quiet and kind god reflecting the peaceful sea ; other times he bursts out in anger and violence like a sea-storm, and his mood can change very, very quickly just like the oceanic weather. The Greeks were heavy sailors and fishermen: they knew the sea was their best ally and their more treacherous enemy, that they should worship but not trust it.

In terms of mythology, this is reflected by Zeus being the "dark twin" or at least "darker double" of Zeus. Zeus and Poseidon are plenty similar: both are one of the "big three" as the PJO series calls them, both are notorious for being lustful womanizers that keep having babies left and right, both are heavily implied in the great epics of heroes... The same way Hades was the "Chthonian Zeus", Poseidon was very much the "Oceanic Zeus". But the difference is that Poseidon was supposed to be much more dangerous, and much darker than Zeus.

Zeus embodied the law and the rules. He was a keeper of oath, a punisher of criminals, a rewarder of the goods, he embodied order and justice. Poseidon? No such thing. With his dual nature of helper and persecutor of heroes, with his sudden mood changes, with him surrounding himself with monsters and hybrids, Poseidon rather reflected a form of chaos. This was reflected for example in the quarrelsome nature of Poseidon, who kept getting into fights with other deities about the ownership of specific human cities or islands. His two most famous battles being his dual against Athena, for the ownership of Athens, and his trial against Helios for being the god of Corinth. But other tales of him feuding with gods for pieces of land exist...

And to that, it should be added that Poseidon was one of the most famous antagonists and hero-persecutors of Greek mythology, thanks to him being the big bad of "The Odyssey" and the archnemesis of Odysseus. This status as the antagonist of one of the two fundamental works of Greek literature puts him at the same place as, for example, Hera, the by-default persecutor of great heroes (just ask Herakles or Dionysos). It should be especially noted that The Odyssey takes a great care into painting Poseidon was maybe originally rightfully mad, but pushing the persecution beyond the reasonable. The beginning of the Odyssey has Athena plead for Odysseus' case before Zeus, pointing out the unfairness of his situation, and Zeus fully agree with her... but explains he can't do anything because Poseidon is still on the case and just will not let go. Poseidon is definitively a grudge-holder, and the Odyssey is not subtle about it.

But the final trait that confirms and illustrates well the dark, evil, chaotic side of Poseidon is his entourage, his children especially. As I said, Zeus and Poseidon are both father-figures in Greek mythology, and both are gods who just keep sleeping with everything around them. But Zeus' constant lust was depicted in a positive light, as him enacting his role as "father of gods", "father of men", as king, and god of justice and protector of civilization: because from his loins were born the greatest gods of the mythology, and the most admirable and benevolent heroes, and the great kings that founded the Greek civilization. But Poseidon? Oh, Poseidon was the "shadow" of Zeus as I said, a sort of dark twin. And so what did he gave birth to? Monsters and criminals and murderers.

The tradition of "the sea giving birth to monsters and chaos" is a very old one, in fact it is a trait of the Indo-European religions, as old as the Babylonian or Summerian mythologies. Even before we get on Poseidon's case, we can remind of the fact that the oldest and most dangerous monsters in the Greek world were given birth to by Phorcys and Ceto, two old and ancient sea-deities that predated Poseidon's rule, and were associated with sea-monsters and sea-dangers (Ceto/Keto herself shared her name with whales, any kind of huge sea beasts, and many of the creatures we describe now as sea-monsters or sea-dragons). Ladon, for example, the dragon guarding the Golden Fleece, was Keto's child ; and so was Echidna (aka the mother of monsters, who birthed with Typhon the rest of the monsters of Greek mythology). And speaking of Phorkys, Poseidon ended up sleeping with two of his daughters.

One was the nymph Thoosa of which we know barely anything - but her child became famous. Polyphemus, the monstrous and savage man-eating cyclop that became such a terrifying image through the Odyssey. The other was, as I said before... Medusa the Gorgon. And as I explained before, in the oldest recorded versions of the myth, there was no transformation: the Gorgon was born a hideous and terrifying monster. The snake hair, the petrifying gaze, the monstrous face that embodied everything the Greeks deemed ugly, the metallic claws and wings... And all that seduced Poseidon somehow, and he made her his lover, and they even had children together - which in turn were also monsters. The benevolent Pegasus, and the mysterious Chrysaor (who in turn later gave birth to Geryon, the three-bodied monster Herakles had to fight).

This trend of Poseidon choosing the most unusual, dangerous or terrifying consorts to give birth to monsters heroes will later have to face is confirmed by the recurring image of Poseidon having slept with GAIA out of all goddesses. And who are the children attributed to this unon of Poseidon with his own grandmother (not only that, but to my knowledge it is the only time an Olympian slept with Gaia, who usually mates with other primordial deities)? Charybdis, of the dreaded Scylla and Charybdis (Scylla is also sometimes identified as Poseidon's daughter - though she was before that a daughter of Phorkys, and it seems she became a Poseidon daughter simply because through time Poseidon absorbed Phorkys within himself) ; Laestrygon, the ancestor and first king of the Laestrygons (another race of brutal, man-eating giants like the cyclops of Polyphemus island), and finally Antaeus, yet another murderous giant (though he didn't eat people).

If you weren't certain of the fact that Poseidon was supposed to be "mostly a bad guy with some good sides" in Greek mythology, just wait until your hear about Theseus' legends! Now everybody knows of Theseus slaying the Minotaur... But before that, Theseus did another whole set of heroic feats. You see, as he left his birth-place to reach Athens in hope of finding back his father, Theseus actually did his first real heroic feats. The roads of Ancient Greece back then were infested with all sorts of robbers, thiefs and murderers - some psychopathic humans, others humanoid monsters, some human working with monsters... And Theseus managed to kill the most dreadful and dangerous ones during his journey. And... surprise surprise! Most of them were children of Poseidon!

Procrustes, the guy who loved to cut people he just invited to go to bed? Son of Poseidon. Cercyon who forced travellers to wrestle to death against him? Son of Poseidon. Sciron who pushed people from a cliff after asking them to wash his feet? Son of Poseidon. Periphetes who smashed people with a big club? Possibly a son of Poseidon.

And then, you have to count on the fact most of the evil and wicked kings of Ancient Greece ended up being "sons of Poseidons" at one point or another: Augeas with his filfthy stables ; Pelias the antagonist of the Jason legend ; Polydectes who antagonized Perseus was in later texts a Poseidon son ; there's also Amykos who had some common elements with Cercyon...

And THEN, not criminals on the road, not vicious kings, but the friggin's ALOADS. The monstrous giants that tried to destroy the Olympians and take over Olympus? POSEIDON SONS.

When something good comes out of Poseidon, it is generally a surprise and has to deal with a lot of the bad stuff their own father produced. (In some variations of the Theseus legend for example, Theseus becomes a son of Poseidon, which completely changes the angle of his stories - as his opposition to the Minotaur and his battles against the bandits make him look like the "good son" of Poseidon having to get rid of all the monstrous sons or indirect creations of his father...).

Even the more neutral or benevolent sons of Poseidon are freaky or disturbing. The first son of Poseidon and Amphitrite is Triton - half-man half-fish, and probably the origin of the origin of the triton species. Some consider Proteus the son of Poseidon, and he is a frightening shapeshifter. And then there's the whole host of "talking magical animals" Poseidon gave birth to, which reflects how "primitive" and... let's say "inhuman" the god stays - from the ram from which comes the Golden Fleece to Arion the fabulous horse. Usually, gods who have such a parent-relationship with animals, in Greek mythology, are not good guys (for example Ares in the Cadmos legend, and his relationship with the dragon Cadmus/Cadmus killed...).

If you ask me who my favorite fictional Poseidon is in media, I will say without a doubt, the Poseidon of "Mission Odyssey" as you call it in English (I always found this title silly, in French it was "The Odyssey", and that's it):

Now, I know that "Mission Odyssey" is WILDLY inaccurate to Greek mythology and they clearly tried to stretch as much as they could... everything. Just a look at Poseidon's design above tells you that they clearly do not want to give a "traditional" retelling of the Greek myths.

But, that being said, there's a reason why I love this cartoon, and its because for everything inacurracy they have something that is done perfectly right, and in fact well ahead of their time. For example Hades: they did Hades right, as an imposing, frightening deity... but a neutral and fair one, that shows to be understanding, just and generous, and that only acts unfairly and antagonizing when tricked by Poseidon (and promptly apologizes when he realizes he was tricked). And Poseidon's characterization is also done, for me, right, because they truly manage to represent what Poseidon in the Odyssey is supposed to be.

A bad guy, yes, the antagonist of the story, a grudge-holder and a schemer and a bully who is ally, boss or father of most of monsters and criminals of Greek mythology, and is driven by pride and anger... But who is also shown to care about his children (in his own way), to try to respect the divine law and rules as much as he can (though he breaks them whenever carried away by his ego and anger, and doesn't shy from "cheating" at the "divine game") ; and that is shown to be well-liked and positively-seen by many gods and Greek cities, outside of the Odysseus-plotline. In fact, not only does the story hints and offers glimpses at the good side of Poseidon despite focusing on him as a bad guy ; but it also explains why the good side is "outstage" by turning into a story-tool the villainization of Poseidon. As in, the god is shown, just to obtain a petty win against Odysseus or satisfy his obsession with him, to trick, cheat and bully his friends and allies, who later turn against him when they realize the treachery or the deceit, and as a result over the course of the story he gets more and more alienated by all those that loved or respected him... Precisely because of how he plays an antagonist to Odysseus' story.

If you want a Disney's Hades-like villain (as in a recurring divine villain in a Greek mythology story that allies the sinister and the funny), but that is much more mythologically accurate than Disney's product, take Mission Odyssey's Poseidon.

And I just love the design. It is Asterix meets Ursula and I just LOVE this (but given this series came from the same studio that did things such as Martin Mystery, Totally Spies or Team Galaxy, cool unusual designs are expected).

[meraki-yao]

RWRB Movie Analysis: Henry's Seclusion and Perception-Part 1

“They used to call me the prince of England’s hearts, but now it feels like everyone hates me.”

“Hey, they still love you.”

“They love the idea of me. And now they are faced with the reality.”

These three lines stuck with me for some reason.

The time gap between the email leaks and Alex flying to London is significantly longer in the movie. In the book it was almost immediate, I think in the span of one or two days? But in the movie, it was a week.

In that week, Alex wasn't shielded away from media or news about the matter, seeing as he watched Miguel's interview on his laptop. We already know that his parents are ultimately incredibly supportive of both his sexuality and his relationship with Henry. The White House Staff, his team, are implied to be supportive as well, since I don't think the press conference and his speech was solely his effort, plus Zahra said she's proud of him. Him getting outted before he was ready was a terrible thing that happened to him, but amidst the chao and pain, he had a support system, and he wasn't limited to seeing a single side of the public's reaction.

Henry though? Henry and Bea, the only other person who supports him (I do think Shaan does care about and support Henry, but he's also a palace employee under orders), had all of their electronics, their tools to access the internet, outside information taken away from them. He was stuck with a brother who was endlessly berating him, a grandfather who was giving him the cold shoulder, and a neglectful, absent mother. Bea loves him, but when the rest of the family is crushing down on him there's only so much one person can do. Even in meetings, even if the situation is entirely about him, about his sexuality and relationship, he's not involved in discussions. There's a heartbreaking shot during Alex’s speech, where although he’s in the centre of the frame, although he's at the head of the table, the other people aren't facing him, they’re talking among themselves, not talking to him. And Henry looks like he desperately wants to be part of the conversation, but he can't cut in, and you can see his eyes drop and him giving up. I don't know if anyone has had that experience, of wanting to join in a discussion but constantly getting cut out or ignored, but I can tell you, it feels fucking awful.

So in that horrible, horrible week, Henry was forced into an information cocoon, where all the information he received was how bad this thing that was forced onto him was for the crown's image, how awful of a person he is for being gay and pursuing a relationship with Alex/ letting a “mad infatuation” ruin the image they made him create, and how others in the palace are dealing with this for him in a way he doesn't agree or have a say in. That's all he could see, and when that’s all you can see, it starts to feel like the definitive truth.

That's why it feels like everyone hates him. Because within the space he was confined in, save for Bea and Shaan, everyone did act like they hated him. No Alex, No Pez, No. Oscar, no public opinion. He was forbidden from seeing any support. That's why he feels so lost.

So when finally, he gets to see a sea of rainbow outside Buckingham Palace, he's so overwhelmingly glad and determined, as he realizes that he's still the Prince of England's heart, he is still loved by his people, perhaps even more so now, because he's one of them. He's their rainbow prince.

He's finally confident, as he takes his love's hand and steps out onto the balcony, greeted by howling cheers and applause, an ocean of support that he didn't get to see before, but was always there.

Alex was right all along.

"They still love you."

[freedomfireflies]

July Fic Recs 🤍

Rabbit Rabbit!! I hope June was a beautiful month for you all! Filled with love, relaxation, and really good stories!!

I feel like this is one of the best places to be on the internet because I always meet so many kind, talented, and insanely creative people! The stories I've gotten to disappear into this month are some of my favs so, without further ado...

~ Not Another Time by @be-with-me-so-happily

Summary: Harry is used to things getting crazy on tour. What he wasn't ready for is how much he misses YN during the Latin American leg of his tour. But at the Rio de Janeiro show, he needs to expect the unexpected.

The sequel to Could We Not, and a beautiful depiction of Harry's love and fear for somebody he loves! It felt so realistic, and I could actually feel Harry's stress while I read 😭💞

~ One More by @harry-on-broadway

"It never failed to surprise you just how well you fit in his arms."

This was so cute, I'm actually still crying??? A sweet blurb about the show before the last show. I wished on every star to be able to crawl into this story and live in it. Sadly, it hasn't worked yet.

~ Been There All Along by @lonelycowgirls

Summary: Where Stella goes to Harry’s last night at Madison Square Garden and gets a call that could change everything.

If really Harry isn't somewhat like this...I'm suing. Honestly

~ Zipper by @1d1195

"Harry was a smart guy, but he truly hadn’t a clue as to why he was so mad at the prospect of liking her."

The cutest, the most beautifully written, the sweetest story IN. THE. WORLD. The title alone deserves every award ever, but the connection to the plot??????? I'm still thinking about it

~ Love Don't Cost A Thing by @justmystyles

Such a beautiful concept!! I like conversations and stories like this because they really do feel so real! It helps really immerse you in the every day life of a relationship with him. And the line, "It's an us thing," LIVES IN MY HEAD RENT FREE!!!

~ Mutually Beneficial by @cherryjuiceblues

Summary: Y/N finds life difficult and Harry just wants to make her feel good.

I mean...we all just want a man that wants to make us feel good as much as this one does...AM I WRONG???

~ Guilty by @jarofstyles

Best Friend's Dad!

Everything they write is perfection and this sexy ass age gap story is no different, I am actually still sweating and convulsing I AM A SIMP

~ I Want Forever by @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite

Summary- Harry and Y/N broke up early into Love On Tour. Harry struggled to truly move on, as did Y/N. With tour over, a lost soul shows up at Y/N’s door one night, ready for forever.

Straight perfection, let's be real! A ring, the final show, AND AN ANGSTY, FLUFFY HARRY?? *chefs kiss*

~ Eros (Cupid) Harry by @0nlythrowharrybeaux

Harry is Eros and he is absolutely smitten with a human.

Listen, he absolutely would be this cute and you BEST BELIEVE I'm so down bad for this man...I literally foam at the mouth when I think about it, AND HE'S FUNNY?? Dead on sight

~ Personal by @shawnxstyles

summary: you and harry are best friends who tell each other everything. or so you thought. when harry finds out you’ve barely done anything sexual, he offers to change that. and then things get a little… personal.

Best friend Harry helping you out. Need I say more?? I NEEDN'T

~ Scared by @adorebeaa

You and Harry have your first argument right before his final show in Italy, about his final show in Italy.

THE CUTEST MOST DEVASTATING ADDITION TO THE FINAL SHOW!!! CRIED FOR HOURS

~ Y/N and Harry are expecting a baby, and they’re both very impatient by @tobesolonely

I mean...delicious honestly 😭 Just...wow

~ Sex Therapist by @tsumtsumrry

in which Harry helps you out a bit, and he’s not actually a sex therapist. (but he might as well be)

I am...scarily attracted to this man. And I am okay with that 😭💞

~ Brother's Best Friend by @helladirections

Summary: Harry is YN’s brother’s best friend and YN isn’t a little kid anymore. Featuring Italrry, teasing, and a sea view. 

He is....so hot. I genuinely have no other words to describe it honestly. It's...it's bad over here for me

~ Complicated Freak by @lukesaprince

Summary: Where you’ve been hooking up with your best friend’s dad and decide to tease him with a tiny bikini.

I think about this man once a week at least...okay fine, once a day. oKAY FINE I THINK ABOUT HIM ALL THE TIME and I'm okay with that

And a shout-out to @londonharry for providing us with all the gifs we've been needing to help us through our depression 🫶 You do the Lord's work, thank you!!

I hope you all find some amazing things to discover!! Cannot wait to see you again next month!! 💞

Previous Recs:

~ Fic Rec Number 1

~ Fic Rec Number 2

~ Fic Rec Number 3

[octuscle]

Being a Gogo boy looks fun… but it’s definitely a certain kind of body you need for it.

Did you know that the basic Chronivac package does not include individual support? But I'd be happy to make an exception for you. Perhaps also to avoid further unnecessary support cases.

The be-all and end-all of a good transformation is a sensible prompt that you enter for the transformation. For example, the desired result could be "A twenty-year-old athletic go-go boy with excellent dancing skills in erotic leather clothing". You should perhaps add what and where your new self is. I'm assuming that you don't suddenly want to be sitting at your grandma's coffee table in high leather boots. So let's add "On the dance floor of a dimly lit nightclub at 02:00 in the morning". If the journey is the destination for you, you have to describe that too. For example, "Immediately beginning a steady transformation that ends in 48 hours." To summarize: "Immediately beginning uniform transformation into a twenty-year-old athletic go-go boy with excellent dancing skills in erotic leather clothing, ending in 48 hours on the dance floor of a dimly lit nightclub at 02:00 in the morning." Attention, the AI only implements what you write, so the dance floor will be where it is in 48 hours at 02:00 in the morning.

It is 13:00 in Amsterdam when you press "Enter". Congratulations! The nightclub where you're whipping up the masses is obviously in Honolulu. However, you look like anything but a gogo boy. Slightly overweight office worker in his mid-40s… I'm curious. The change in your routines starts right at lunchtime. No quick stop at the burger joint across the street. Instead, three quarters of an hour on the cross trainer in the company gym. And then a small salad. No dressing. And a liter and a half of still mineral water. You've been taking almost manic care of your body for six months now. And it shows. You've really lost weight. Your skin is much better. And your taste in clothes has also improved. Nice suit!

You listen to music at work during the afternoon. Unusual for you. You actually need peace and quiet. Now you can only concentrate with music… Well… Concentrate… Actually, you surf the Internet more. And checking out horny guys on Grindr. You have your first date right after work at 5 pm. Just before that, a quick check in the toilet. Yes, for a man in his early 40s, you're pretty darn tight. Bright smile, always slightly tanned. And a tight butt. That's what you're known for in your department.

A hot fuck like this on the way home is a great way to switch off after work. When you get home, you quickly get changed and then it's off to the gym. Boxing arobics is on the schedule today. Perfect training for strength, muscle building and fitness. And most of the participants are to your taste. After the workout, you spend some time on the free weights. And then in the sauna. It's almost 10 p.m. by the time you're in the shower. Fortunately, you're not alone. Time to drop the soap.

The alarm clock rings at 11:00. Still, it was a short night… Since you work as a bartender in the club, you're one of the last to call it a night. In your mid-30s, you're too old for a job on stage or at the pole bars. But you're definitely a looker. Says the guest whose bed you've just woken up in. Awesome apartment with a view of the beach and the sea. And even if it's a really old geezer: Great morning wood! You'll be happy to let him fuck you and then put a few dollar bills in your panties. Yes, you are a whore. But a very successful one!

Unfortunately, even the hottest guy in Honolulu has to do things like laundry or shopping and cooking dinner. Especially when you're on such a strict diet as you are. Luckily you got the last appointment for a manicure and eyebrow correction at Agnes. Nothing stands in the way of a successful evening.

The time from 22:00, when the club opens, to 24:00, when you have your first gig, is usually the most lucrative. The men who are there that early are usually very solvent and very generous. Especially with the king of lap dancing. But your real hour is when all the spotlights are on you. For the first few minutes, the dance floor is all yours. And then you'll bring the club on fire!

[perfectsunlight]

𝐝𝐞𝐣𝐚 𝐯𝐮

𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐞́ 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: angst, cheating, insecurities.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 5,233

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: you and rosé have been broken up for months now. but when rumors suddenly spread of your ex and a new lover, you can't help but wonder if she gets deja vu.

𝐚/𝐧: this was the first kpop fic i ever wrote back in 2021. i didn't finish it until this year. i hope u all enjoy this ancient work lol

when the world found out about you and your idol girlfriend, they went crazy.

you, this seemingly mysterious american actress, and none other than blackpink's own rosé. the media had fabricated their own stories of how you two had met, as well as playing some sort of a guessing game to see how long your relationship has been going for. some journalists were brave enough to even try and pin an expiration date on your relationship, but you and your girlfriend simply found the whole ordeal entertaining.

when the world found out about you and your idol girlfriend's breakup, they completely lost it.

thousands of comments, numerous phone calls, as well as the mobs of the paparazzi, followed you everywhere you went. the media once again fabricated stories to try and create even more drama, and with the paparazzi practically hounding you for answers, it felt like the end of the world all over again. except this time, you were on your own.

"y/n l/n!" "over here!" "y/n, are the rumors true?" "y/n, can we get a statement from you?"

your nails dug into your palms as you increased your walking pace, trying your best to navigate through the seemingly never-ending sea of blinding flashes. it had only been two weeks since the breakup, and somehow everyone and their mother seemed to know about it. even through your sunglasses, you still had a hard time figuring out the quickest route to escape all of this. 

you couldn't help but wonder how rosé was dealing with all of this. usually, the two of you would be able to tiptoe around the paparazzi and journalists. the media hounded you both once yg released a statement confirming your relationship. yet, somehow, you guys managed to avoid everything the majority of the time, and during the few occurrences that you both were caught off guard, having each other there helped make the anxiety-inducing experience more tolerable.

a car door opened for you and you quickly sat down inside, physically exhaling a breath you didn't realize you had been holding in. leaning your head back against the seat, your eyes slipped close. even through the tinted windows and your shut eyes, you could still see the flashing lights. 

you could also still hear their voices.

"l/n, what was the cause of the breakup?" "y/n, why were you not at rosé's party?" "are you and rosé officially over?"

tears began to form at the corners of your eyes, and even though the car windows were tinted, you feared the thought of any image of you crying being plastered all over the internet. you couldn't let the world see you like this. 

more specifically, you couldn't let park chaeyoung see you like this.

you didn't have her at your side anymore, but you knew she was not free from the wrath of the public at the moment either. your breakup came unexpectedly. after nearly a year and a half together, your agencies had announced that you called it quits. your relationship was going so well, and the public adored you two. but of course, it wasn't like your relationship had always been smooth sailing.

as a matter of fact, it was anything but smooth sailing.

relationships take work, but relationships with an international superstar require exponentially more work. you were an actress, but not on the level of rosie's status. the first time you met your now ex-girlfriend was about a year after blackpink had debuted. your agency had flown you out to south korea for filming a few scenes for a new upcoming movie. when yg caught wind of your arrival, they immediately reached out and offered to give you a tour of their offices, as well as introduce you to some of their own notable people in the entertainment industry. 

you were simply there to make new connections, but when you first arrived, you immediately ended up getting lost.

and that's when you bumped into her. literally.

-

"i am so, so sorry."  

your ears perked up at the recognizable accent that came from the girl in front of you. she was definitely not originally from korea. "it's alright, i should have been paying more attention to where i had been going." flashing a small smile, you tried your best to assure her that it was also your fault.

the other girl visibly relaxed at your comment, returning the smile you threw her way. "you look a little lost. do you need help finding someone? or a specific room? i'd be happy to help." 

relief washed over you as you gave her a few nods. "that would be wonderful, thank you so much." 

you stuck your hand out in front of you, smiling brightly. "i’m y/n."

the other girl grinned and mirrored your actions, firmly grasping her hand with yours.

"rosé."

-

you never planned on befriending the idol who helped you navigate yg's building. yet, somehow, you two managed to develop somewhat of a friendship over time. she would call you in between her practices, and you were there, always eager to listen to her. you would often do the same as well, sending her snaps or little texts throughout your day in between filming scenes. 

she knew about your aspirations and dreams, the way you liked your coffee, the way you had a fear of spiders. you knew about her struggles as a trainee, how she loved to play the guitar almost all the time, and her favorite spicy foods.

the both of you seemed to grow closer and closer everyday, and before you knew it, you were slowly starting to fall for the girl.

after all, it wasn't hard to fall for someone like rosé. she was beautiful, talented, and so kindhearted. you admired her passion for music, and every once in a while, she would even offer to bring you over so you could meet the other members of the group. you would have loved to take her up on that offer, and as much as rosie hated to admit it, you two were just so busy to even meet up for a bite to eat.

your friendship became somewhat strained as blackpink began to gain traction internationally, along with your own career gaining more attention as well. soon enough, your almost daily interactions turned into once a week conversations, until they became a few short texts every once in a while. 

yet, little did you know, the idol was also slowly falling for you. jisoo was the first to notice it, and of course lisa was the first to make fun of her for it. jennie tried her best to keep the maknae in line, but it was most often to no avail. rosé was more than aware of how her company would react if they found out, and she knew that she couldn't risk potentially damaging her career right now. but she couldn't help it. after all, you were the only person she could think about, even during your absence from each other.

a few months had passed by, and the two of you haven't really spoken to each other at all. it wasn't anyone's fault really, especially once your movie was nearing its release date and with blackpink just dropping their newest track, "ddu-du ddu-du". about a week and a half before its release worldwide, your agency had decided to hold a movie premiere in new york city. 

-

"y/n! over here!" "look this way!" "you look stunning, l/n!"

fitted in the most exquisite emerald-colored dress, you made your way across the red carpet. you waved and stopped to pose for a few moments before getting ushered into the building. chatter buzzed through the building as everyone conversed with each other. you and your co-stars had been engaging in your own discussions when suddenly louder cheering and shouting was heard from outside. 

despite the pandemonium occurring outside, one name they were shouting was clearer than crystal to you. immediately turning around as the doors opened, you couldn't help but smile with pride at the attention that the group had brought with them. rosé's eyes immediately scanned the room, but she didn't have to look long before you began walking towards her.

the now blonde girl let out the most contagious laugh as she practically threw her arms around you. you two were practically jumping up and down, causing the other three members of blackpink to laugh at your antics. 

"y/n/n! it's been forever!"  rosie's hands stayed wrapped around your waist, while yours stayed on top of her shoulders. rosé couldn't stop the butterflies in her stomach when she looked at you, and you couldn't stop smiling at how excited she was to see you. "i know! i've just been so busy, but so have you! you all are doing such an amazing job."  you complimented as you turned your head towards the other girls. 

rosé properly introduced you to the other girls in the group; jisoo, jennie, and lisa. the five of you chatted away about everything and anything, up until each of your managers ushered you all to your seats for the premiere. fortunately, blackpink was seated on the aisle to the left of you and your cast members. part of the australian wanted to just move the other actors next to you out of the way so she could sit beside you, but she knew better than that.

throughout the whole movie, you two kept stealing glances at each other. jennie even had to tell rosie to stop "drooling" over you and watch your movie. the only thing your manager told you was to use this opportunity to "strengthen connections”

it wasn't until the afterparty that things got more interesting for you two. 

after a few drinks and lots of dancing, you and everyone else there were drunk out of your minds. the only people who were less intoxicated were jisoo and each of your managers. jisoo was tipsy enough though to start randomly doing the chicken dance with jennie every fifteen minutes or so.

as a congratulatory gift, the girls had provided you and your cast members with some korean alcohol from overseas. needless to say, you were still heavily intoxicated, but still somehow seriously questioning how in the world the soju you drank tasted like hand-sanitizer.

rosé couldn't stop laughing at the face you made every time you took a sip from the green bottle. "y/n, the face you make gets me every time." jennie busted out laughing as well as she looked over jisoo's shoulder, before teasing you. "you know, for an actress you seriously have no facial control when it comes to liquor."  she said with a grin. you rolled your eyes while fighting the urge to gag at the aftertaste lingering in your throat.

"do you need me to get you some water?" lisa inquired before she took another sip of the soju she had in a glass, biting back her own laughter as she observed your current state.

"no, it's okay. i can go find some." you coughed out as you stood up slowly before waving with your hand as you walked away, shouting a quick "i'll be right back" before beginning your search for water. 

you wandered around the tables and shelves, searching for any water. unfortunately, there seemed to be none. sighing, you rubbed your temple and grabbed an empty rocks glass before making your way out of the main room and down the hallway. upon finding the bathroom, you filled the empty glass with water from the sink and swallowed it quickly.

the illuminated mirror made you take in your current flushed face, and the small beads of sweat that glittered your forehead. your makeup was somehow still intact, and your hair was still also. suddenly the door opened, and you were met with an all-too familiar face.

"i just came to check on you, i saw you leave the room so i wanted to make sure you were alright." the other girl stated slowly, the alcohol still clearly in her system. it was almost adorable though, and a faint tint of red spread across your cheeks at the thought of the blonde caring about you.

"i'm alright, thank you though, rosie. there wasn't any water out there, so i just got some from the sink." you explained with a small smile. 

"i don't think i mentioned this to you yet tonight, but you look absolutely stunning, y/n." your face flushed again at her words. your eyes met hers as she leaned against the sink next to you. quickly shooting her a genuine smile, you looked away from her and back to your reflection. "thank you, rosie. you look stunning tonight as well." you replied.

"i really missed you." 

rosé didn't know if it was the alcohol in her system, or the fear that she would grow farther apart from you after tonight, but for whatever reason, her confession seemed to linger in the air and echo off of the walls of the bathroom. slowly, you turned your head to look at her once more, and to your surprise the blonde shifted and leaned forward to give you a hug. 

"i missed you too, chae."

for the second time that night, your arms made their home around the idol's neck. she inhaled your scent, and your head rested in the crook of her neck. but for the first time in your life, you felt as if the world grew silent. the other girl pulled away slightly, still keeping her arms around your body. you simply stared at her in confusion, trying to decipher the look on her face. 

roseanne knew the risks. she knew how hard she and the other girls had worked to make it to where they were today. she knew about how hard you had worked to get to where you were as well, and she would hate to put either of you at risk. but she couldn't help herself. 

years of expectations, years of training, and years of loneliness had made their place in the idol's history. tonight, she was going to change that. right then and there, she had decided she was going to risk it all because she deserved to be happy. and so did you.

you don't remember how it actually happened. all you remembered was your lips on hers, you two leaving the party together, and rest was history.

-

at first, the two of you kept your relationship practically invisible. the only others who knew were the other members. you guys had managed to keep it that way for the first three and a half months before dispatch had leaked a photo of the two of you holding hands and kissing goodbye as you walked through the airport. you two had thought that since your fans weren't as crazy as hers, that you could get away with it this one time. unfortunately, you two failed to realize that blinks would be able to tell it was rosie from miles away. 

you had hopped on a flight from new york city to seattle for a fan-signing event for your next upcoming project and unfortunately did not see the photo until you landed.

you remembered how you called her panicking in the middle of the airport bathroom, practically on the verge of a heart attack. but you were not fearing for your own career; it was for hers. yg had just announced that blackpink was supposed to perform at coachella only a week before the image was leaked.

what you didn't know though was that rosé had a meeting with her managers during your flight and before you called her. 

due to her still being at your apartment in new york city until the following morning, yg had been able to contact her pretty easily. since korea was 13 hours ahead, the company had caught wind of the dispatch photo rumor only an hour and a half before it would reach the headlines in north america. 

what you also didn't know was that yg and your blonde lover had released an official statement confirming the relationship. 

the company thought it was a great business move by rosie, and even applauded her for drawing more international attention to the group. of course the other girls in the group were not fond of the company's perspective of your relationship, but it was not like they could have asked for a better reaction.

time went on, and everything was practically perfect between you two; at least to the public eye it seemed so. 

you both loved each other very much, but you would be lying if you said it wasn't hard dating. due to your movie's success, you had been given around 6 months off. you were grateful for the time to rest, but more importantly, for the time to spend with your girlfriend. unfortunately, it seemed as if your lover was busier during those months than she had been all year. you two had spent a few weekends here and there together, but they were almost often interrupted by sudden meeting calls or other brand ambassador things that she had to do. 

you were a bit bummed that your lover was so busy, but you knew this is the life she had wanted and worked for, so you simply smiled and moved forward hoping that she could somehow catch a break.

it wasn't until 8 days before coachella, and only three weeks before your break was over, that you finally were able to spend the most time with rosé. 

if only you would have known that it would be the last time you and rosé would hang out.

-

"do you think my outfit would look better with the white shoes or with the black shoes?" you asked as you rummaged through your luggage to find your missing black shoe.

when your question was met with silence, you looked up from the mess you were making and directed your gaze towards your girlfriend. rosé was currently sitting on the couch of your hotel, phone in hand and giggling softly at whatever she seemed to be looking at. 

“rosie?" 

you called her name, hoping this time to actually get her attention. yet unfortunately, your effort was in vain. you stood from your sitting position, holding both pairs of shoes in your hands.

brows furrowed, you stood a few feet in front of your girlfriend before trying once more to get her attention.

"chaeyoung."

the idol's eyes suddenly met yours, confusion laced across her features as she realized you were standing in front of her. "yes, love?" she replied, her accent ever so apparent as she spoke. mirroring her confusion, you raised an eyebrow before replying,"did you not hear me calling you?"  

your girlfriend sheepishly smiled before shaking her head lightly, "i'm sorry. what did you need?"  you held up your shoes and repeated your question from earlier.

"do you think my outfit would look better with the white shoes or with the black shoes?"

rosé's eyes narrowed slightly before answering you. "the black ones." nodding at her answer, you set the other pair of shoes back onto the floor before walking over to her.

“why are you so distracted?” you tilted your head to the side as you looked down at her on the bed.

she smiled awkwardly before turning her phone off and looking up at you. “it was just something lisa sent to the groupchat.”

“can i see?” i smiled. “lisa sends the funniest ones.”

rosé’s smile faltered for a moment before she stood up and grabbed your hand. “we’re going to miss the sunset. lets go?”

the two of you walked along the beach in malibu, strawberry ice cream being shared as you walked. the ocean waves crashed along the shoreline, washing away your footprints in the sand.

“are you excited for your performance?” you asked softly as the california sunset painted a mural in the sky. shades of pink and orange casted a myriad of soft tones onto the both of you, but as beautiful as the sunset was, all you could focus on was how beautiful your girlfriend looked.

the soft golden light made her look even more ethereal. your lover’s features were always angelic, but nothing stood out to you more than her smile. 

she gave you a small smile and nodded, taking one of the spoons to take a bit of the strawberry ice cream in your hands. the comfortable silence lingered for a while, allowing for the two of you to simply enjoy the sounds of the ocean accompanied by each other’s presence.

“are you cold?” you asked her, noticing how the ocean breeze may be a bit too cool for your girlfriend’s liking. the other woman chuckled and nodded again. “just a little.” your girlfriend was not a fan of the cold too much, so once you got confirmation of her being cold, you started taking your jacket off to give it to her.

the idol only laughed at how it fit on her, which in turn made you laugh as well, and you couldn’t help but feel the love you had for her becoming more palpable. once the sun dipped over the ocean’s horizon, the two of you made your way back to the hotel.

cuddled up together under the sheets, the two of you relished each other’s presence as the dim light from the tv lit the otherwise darkened room. reruns of glee were playing, and you felt your heart flutter at the sound of rosé humming to a few of the songs. 

“sing me something.” you mumbled into her chest. “i love hearing your voice.” she smelled like a light, floral fragrance with notes of rose, jasmine, sandalwood, and amber. the perfect combination for someone so elegant and angelic. 

when you didn’t hear a response from her, you raised your head a little to see what she was doing. rosie’s chest vibrated as she chuckled, looking down at something on her phone, too occupied to notice your comment from a few moments earlier.

“rosie?” you said softly, trying to get her attention. however, once you did, she seemed a bit distracted. “yes babe?” the australian said with a chuckle, glancing between you and her phone that was now turned over on her lap. “sorry, did you say something?”

your head tilted to the side a little, a little curious as to this being the second time today that your lover seemed to be acting a bit odd. so you decided to ask her about it. “you seem a bit distracted today. is everything okay?” you asked gently.

the question clearly caught her off guard a little, and you swore you could have seen a bit of panic on her face. almost as if she knew how she was acting. almost as if, she had something to hide.

“oh have i? im sorry, i guess im still jet lagged.” she stuttered out, placing a hand on your cheek in an attempt to sooth your worries. except, you weren’t that clueless. you had been with rosie for a while now, and you knew how the idol acted when she was jet lagged. 

and this was definitely not it.

“rosie, can i see your phone?” you asked slowly, noticing how fidgety she got when you leaned in closer to her. the idol let out a forced laugh, looking at you as if you just asked her something so strange and random. “um, what for, babe?” she said in a tone hidden with something you could not really pin point. looking back on it, it was definitely fear.

“rosie.” you said a little firmly, staring into the idol’s eyes with a look of determination. “let me see it.” it was clear to both you and the superstar that you were not taking no for an answer. especially since roseanne had never seen such a look in your eyes before. it scared her, a little. 

you don’t remember much of what happened after that. all you remember is seeing some messages that broke your heart, hearing rosie stumbling over her words trying to explain what you just saw, and then the way you grabbed your suitcase and stormed out of the hotel room.

except, before you did, you remembered telling the idol one last thing.

with tears in your eyes, blurring your vision with watery opposition, you could see the way the girl you loved was begging for you to stay in the doorway. but you didn’t care. the damage was done, and it was too late now.

with a broken heart and crushed spirit, you told rosé one last sentence that would mark the end to your relationship.

“we’re done.”

-

now, it had been months since the breakup. it was heartbreaking for you to go through this. you never thought chaeyoung would cheat on you, especially after everything the two of you had been through. it also didn’t make things easier because of the media.

everyone wanted answers as to why the most popular couple in the entertainment world was now broken up, without any answers as to why. both your fans and rosie’s hounded the internet, taking jabs and picking sides in this breakup that shocked the world on both sides of the globe.

it also didn’t help that as the weeks went on, you saw the rumors circulating around your ex and her new lover. 

although you two had not spoken publicly about the breakup, it only being confirmed by your agencies instead, you couldn’t help but feel like this new woman rosé was with was the same woman she was texting that night at the hotel. nevertheless, you didn’t bother asking, especially at this point. 

you couldn’t even stand to listen to kpop anymore. the entire genre was ruined for you, because you couldn’t listen to kpop without listening to blackpink, of course. speaking of the other members, the girls had all reached out to you as well, saying that you were still family to them, and they would love to still keep in touch.

you didn’t bother replying to any of the three. it wasn’t that you didn’t care about the other girls, but rather that it hurt too much, and you no longer wanted anything to do with the australian or her members right now.

currently you laid in your bed, sheets tangled from your sleepless night prior and floor scattered with water bottles, tissues, and clothes. it was obvious to everyone around you that you were grieving. you were feeling ever single stage of grief, somehow all at the same time.

it also didn't help that every time you went on your phone, you saw new photos and updates about your ex and her new lover. you didn’t know much, other than that she was practically attached to the idol’s hip 24/7. overwhelmed with the stages of anger, denial, and bargaining, you got a bad idea. 

you reached over your pillow and pulled out your phone and decided to do a deep dive into this new woman that your ex girlfriend cheated on you with. it was a horrendous idea, that was for sure, but it was something you just couldn’t shove off anymore.

the new girl was another actress, making your pride hurt significantly.

“another actress?” you muttered under your breath and kept scrolling through the twitter updates. you knew rosé had secretly dated actresses in the past too, but you hated to think that you were just her type. it hurt your ego just as much as it hurt your heart. 

“suzy…bae?” you mumbled as you looked at pictures of this actress. she was beautiful, there was no doubt there. the woman was also a well known figure in the korean entertainment industry. it was no wonder why so many koreans were ecstatic about rosé’s sudden new love interest. 

you found yourself  looking through your ex’s instagram for the first time since the breakup. your relationship was private, but not secret, so there would be only a few photos of you and chaeyoung posted. 

well, not anymore, since upon further inspection, rosé clearly deleted all of them. it stung a little, but it wasn’t like you were expecting anything less. you two were broken up for a few months now.

except, as you scrolled through the pictures on her page, you couldn’t help but notice a few familiar places in some of them. 

there was one with the two eating ice cream on the beach in malibu, the same one you and chaeyoung had been to less than a year ago. there was one with them renting out a movie theater to watch glee, something you and rosie did for fun back when you were still together. there was even a video of rosie teaching suzy how to play “uptown girl” on the piano, a song you had once taught her how to play.

“i bet she tells her she loves her in between the chorus and the verse, too.” you whispered harshly, the stinging feeling growing in your chest as you kept on digging through the photos. it was only making you feel worse, but you couldn’t help but feel angry. 

was anything even real? did the soft spoken blonde that you loved ever truly love you? or was it all just a lie? 

you couldn’t help but wonder if everything you did with park chaeyoung was just recycled from her previous relationships, especially considering how she was reusing everything from yours. 

everything felt like a lie. tears slowly fell from your face, and you couldn’t hold it in anymore. you wanted to scream and shout, to let the world know that roseanne cheated on you and was reusing everything with her new lover. except you wouldn’t do that to her.

you also wouldn’t do what she was doing to someone else, either. 

everyone is made up from the different pieces of the people they once loved, but to copy and paste the same memories over and over again led you to realize that maybe rosé never truly loved you. you were haunted by this thought from the moment you stormed out of the hotel room in california that night, but with this newfound information? 

it was hard to believe that it wasn’t true. but even still, with this heartache and pain swirling inside you, you couldn’t help but wonder if rosé felt no guilt or shame. did she not feel bad at all? did she miss what you had, or even, just you? when was rosie going to tell her that you two did all of that too? that everything suzy probably thought was “unique” about your ex girlfriend was all just reused?

but none of these thoughts compared to the biggest question that now burned in the front of your mind. it was one you couldn’t help but ask out loud. 

“do you get deja vu?”