#let them be closer!! let them bond over older brother trauma!!!!!!

[bridge-demon]

death the kid and tsubaki should have bonded over having to fight their older brothers who wanted to kill them im js

[ithaquasbbg]

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡ Based on some hcs I left in a disc server… the messages are getting so long that it’s going on here now 🥲. This is like my current brain rot so,,, here we go!

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

Ithaqua and Joseph found family hcs (platonic obvi)

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-When Ithaqua and Joseph first meet it’s at dinner and Joseph just so happens to get SUPER drunk to the point where he mistakes Ithaqua for Claude and starts calling him “brother.” Itha doesn’t like this at all and yells at him. Afterwards once they both get to understand each other better they apologize to each other.

-It doesn’t take long for the two to bond over their experiences and become close, almost like brothers in a way.

-Ithaqua acts more like the older brother, much more protective of the other, making sure nobody actually hurts Joseph. Mainly because of his trauma, he’s determined not to let another person he loves get hurt.

-Joseph… is complicated, though comes off as the younger brother in all honesty. More clingy and paranoid that anything could happen to Ithaqua. Once he gets closer to itha he comes off as pretty childish at times since he didn’t really get to have a real childhood

-like the dudes brother died, the people from his country died, and he was abruptly taken away from his home when he was a little kid. Mental health wasn’t well understood back then so for his actual life it was covered up. But itha allows him to let go of the facade for a bit.

-So in return, Joseph lets itha cry to him. He will sit there keeping Ithaqua in a tight hug, making sure that he is all right while listening to his problems.

-If Joseph was ever allowed in duos, Ithaqua would try to be his partner to make sure he doesn’t get stunned all too much. Which would leave Joseph cursing him out (lovingly) after the match for getting himself hurt

-Joseph occasionally has moments when he’ll see Ithaqua as Claude still, holding him close and just absolutely sobbing into his shoulder. Especially once he realizes he’s not, but having somebody there to fill the void is somewhat comforting

-Ithaqua having somebody who looks similar to him while being nothing like Nathaniel slowly helps him have less hatred towards his own appearance.

-when one gets really emotional, sometimes they’ll sleep together (platonically). Usually whoever the more upset one ends up as the little spoon, falling asleep after crying into the other. It happens pretty often, but it’s comforting to have somebody to cry to.

- Joseph has periods of time where he doesn’t speak at all, expressing everything physically. Ithaqua doesn’t mind too much, often helping the other. Sometimes these periods last several hours to even days, when that happens Itha tries to coax the other into speaking.

-On the other hand, Ithaqua has a bunch of things he hyper fixates on but often covers up his excitement for said things around people to not come off as weird. Joseph is more than willing to listen to the others rants.

-Itha isn’t super cuddly, Joseph definitely is. The big difference between them is the age everything happened at, which causes them to act so differently. Joseph will physically cling onto Ithaqua, when the two are in the couch, he’ll hug itha and rest against him

-meanwhile Ithaqua doesn’t usually get touchy with the other in big ways, more so protectively putting an arm around him or holding onto the others hand to make sure that he’s there to protect the other

・‥…━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━…‥・

Woof

[pinesfamilyguidetotheweird]

(SCRAPPED) Fragmented AU -- Background Info (Tragedy in the Pines Family)

So, as mentioned in a previous post, the Fragmented AU has Dipper and Mabel's parents die in a fire when they were 10 (almost 11). The cause of said fire was a bit of a mystery, but Dipper believed it was someone called Bill. No one believed him, as there were no signs of someone breaking in, and many assumed that he started the fire accidentally. He was then sent to a children's psychiatric ward to help him cope with his trauma.

Two years have passed and Dipper is finally let out to live with the Stans, along with Mabel, who was staying with their grandparents.

Because of what happened, Dipper and Mabel are no doubt scarred by it in different ways: Dipper's a bit more harsh, anxious, and a bit emotionally unstable while Mabel does everything in her power to hide away her negative emotions and avoid talking about it. She's also scared of leaving Dipper behind or being left behind herself.

Speaking of the Stans, Stan was able to get Ford back into their dimension three years early thanks to a certain redhead finding the 3rd Journal and with the help of it, was able to track down the 2nd Journal.

As for Ford, he too has confronted Bill with his quantum destabilizer in the Nightmare Realm earlier than canon. However, just like in canon (well Journal 3 canon), Stan prevents Ford from dealing with the killing blow. So, yeah, there's still tension between the brothers. It surprisingly waned over the next three years, but there had been considerable bumps.

The loss of the Mystery Twins' parents did hit the Stans hard. Stan had grown a sweet bond with Caroline, his niece-in-law, finding her carefree and strong attitude endearing. His nephew, Morgan, somewhat reminded Stan of his brother, a nerd, but loved him all the same.

Ford only got to know the couple for a short while (other than when Morgan was a child), meeting the family during the holidays for hanukkah and christmas. Despite only being there for a month, Ford was quick to form memorable bonds with them, though he lamented that he missed Morgan growing up and marrying, as well as missing the birth of the younger twins.

Upon hearing of Morgan and Caroline's deaths, Ford was absolutely devastated. He had just connected with them, mere months earlier, and he had just lost them. It very much broke him. Not to mention that the possibility that Bill may have something to do with it sent him into a faint-inducing panic attack.

Surprisingly though, the loss brought the brothers closer together after a series of panic episodes and some angered words. Stan would then later make the decision for them to adopt the twins because a) their older brother Shermie already has his hands full with their ailing mother by himself, b) Ford had expressed his (and Stan's) deep seated fear of losing them too and c) Stan knew of the possibility of foster care separating the kids.

Was Stan the best choice to raise the orphaned children? No, not really. Man's a mess with his own set of issues. But, he's devoted. What about Ford? Well, the man has a tendency to forget to take care of himself so...plus, he has issues too, issues that the people of their dimension would not understand. Even so, when it comes to family, Ford would go above and beyond for them.

(Want more?)

[lgbtlunaverse]

hi i'm off work and love pointless discourse, so i've been summoned lol but definitely delete if you dont find this fun! RE the poll about jc's best partner and co-parent though, i hear the argument for mian mian but still dont agree that being a good parent of one kid equals being a good parent of a future sect leader with so much trauma AND partner to a current sect leader with so much trauma lollll but More importantly than that!! who did you vote for 😂

I'm including a sceenshot that you can check against the current number of votes and remaining time so you can see i'm not lying because I have, in fact, not voted in the poll because I wasn't sure.

Listen, everyone in mdzs has trauma. Mianmian's probably got a shitton of trauma from that one time people literally tried to use her as live bait. No one's gonna fix jiang cheng's trauma, at least no one on this list.

Wen qing's a great doctor but no therapist, though she would make for a great co-leader of a sect and having another 'strict parent' involved (rather than jgy's more indulgent gentle parenting style) might help jc chill out a little.

Ofc jgy himself is also an option: proven to be good at leading a sect, also proven to be a good coparent to jl... are we including the part where yknow he is hunted for all his crimes and dies, though? Because that kinda disqualifies him as ideal candidate.

Xiao xingchen is kind and good with kids, but he is also like... 17 a year after wwx's death which means ahe-wose he's more 'older brother' range to jin ling than "parent" and also he explicitly does not want to stay put. Mianmian only left because of grave moral differnces xxc literally hates the concept of being stuck in a major clan. (Unless the fact that jin ling is heir to jinlintai+jc having no other heirs means he gets to convert yunmeng jiang to that merit-based sect he was dreaming of. Then he'd have a great time.) Unfortunately being stick with a strict idealist tends to not go well for jiang cheng, and if the whole xue yang situation still happens (i do not mean yi city, i mean the part where xxc is the one who hunted him down in the first place) could politically get... very uncomfortable. Especially for jin ling.

Nmj did also already help raise a child buuuut he's proto-suicidal and let's not make jiang cheng a widow.

Wei wuxian already knows and loves jiang cheng, the jiang, and jin ling and would be an ideal candidate if nit for... you know.

Lan wangji is also good at handling a sect plus kids, actually i've read fics with this premise, it's just you do need to dedicate 10K words of plot to get them to stop hissing at each other.

Wen Ning isn't great with politics but likely pretty good with kids, but he has lwj's problem except Even More so cause he genuinely hates jc. Also if jiang cheng is parenting jin ling here that means zixuan and yanli are in fact still dead which means he's out of the running.

Lan Xichen is good at politics plus pretty good with kids and yeah if canon plays out as it does that's pretty rough, but it wouldn't be quite as retraumatizing as what happened to jgy (considering that was lxc has is also just... the trauma of being a part of what happened to jgy) and he and jin ling could bond over that if they were closer. And unlike the previous two options he is at worst neutral to jc in canon.

For all that fanon has Song Lan as A-Qing's second parent he only knew her for like... a few minutes total. Same problem as xxc on the xue yang thing too.

I don't think huaisang or xue yang should raise a child. So I guess congratulations to the xichengers because he's looking like the best option here.

[stardust9905]

Hi there!

Would you mind to write a drabble about Tech and Echo? I have seen many fan arts where Echo has his hair back and I would be glad to see Tech's reaction to it. Would he feel happiness? Would he help Echo with styling or choosing a new haircut?

I just think it's cute.

Echo & Tech "Haircut":

Synopsis:  Tech notices Echo’s insecurities over his lack of hair and head implants.  How will he help Echo cope?  Will the Batch be supportive in the end?

WARNINGS: Minor insecurities and mentions of past trauma for poor Echo, and a bit AU where Crosshair is back with the Batch. No clonecest. (Otherwise just fluff)

Word Count: 938 ... got *slightly* carried away hehe

A/N: Hey there @witch-ren!!  I’ve seen many fanarts with Echo with his hair back and I think that this is just such a cool idea!! ... So much of a cool idea in fact that i *may or may not* have written a *wee bit* more than a drabble.. — Thank you so much for your request!!! :) 

Masterlist

Echo stands with the fresher door open, one hand lightly brushing over the cybernetic implants in his head, staring at the transparisteel mirror thinking.

Since being rescued from the Citadel back in the Clone Wars, he had been keeping his hair close cropped, even closer than Captain Rex, more often than not choosing to go completely shaven.  

It was different for his vode (siblings).  Wrecker chose to be bald since he didn’t want to deal with the work it takes to maintain hair.  Jesse and Hardcase had chosen no hair because they had tattoos that were worth showing off.  Echo didn’t feel like the implants were worth showing off.  Just another reminder of all the time he lost and pain he went through.

All his other siblings didn’t have implants to affect hair growth.  Echo finds that he’s more comfortable with letting his 5 o’clock shadow grow in occasionally, given that he doesn’t have to worry about how the hair will look growing around his implants. 

“Your insecurities will not decrease by continuously scrutinizing them.” Tech comes to stand a few feet behind Echo, nose still buried deep in his datapad. 

Echo gives a sheepish look while Tech points a finger in the air.  “I was thinking—”

“When are you not thinking—” Echo smirks.

Tech takes half a second to look indignant. “As I was saying.  If you’re okay with it, we could research potential hairstyles for you.  Perhaps it would help you regain some confidence, a piece of your old self if you will.”

Echo looks a little uncertain, but slowly nods.  “I trust you.”

… 

A few months ago, Echo remembers being so glad to have a brother like Tech, sitting up all night making an entire moodboard of hairstyle choices that would help his black curls grow around and cover the circular implants on his head.  Over the time of growing out his hair, he kept his helmet on most times, opting to “hide” the awkward stages despite the reassurances from his brothers and baby sister.

Now Echo stands in the mirror again, Tech helping him to style it for him with a comb.

Tech gives one of his signature small smiles, “It looks good on you.”

“You sure?” Despite the uncertainty in his voice, Echo also has a small smile on his face and a genuine shimmer of pure happiness in his eyes.

“Of course, I merely stated the truth”, Tech says matter of factly. 

Echo lets out a soft laugh and slight shake of his head, leaving the refresher to make a ‘grand entrance reveal’ in the cockpit.  As Tech watches Echo humbly show their siblings, and the others give their compliments, he feels happy that he is able to help his ori’vod (older/big sibling).  From freeing him at the Citadel, to how much Echo has grown and rehabilitated since, Tech loves that he is able to bond with Echo.  

Retrieving a couple tubes of hair gel, and one bottle of cobalt blue hair dye, that he saved up for with help from Hunter, Tech headed to the cockpit.  After bending down to whisper to where Wrecker and Omega were sitting on the floor, he turns to Echo and tells him to sit in the co-pilot seat and close his eyes.

When Echo gives a confused, skeptical look, Hunter quietly smirks from where he’s sitting behind the pilot’s seat.  Crosshair lets out a smooth chuckle from against the wall, telling Echo to relax. “It’ll be fine, we'll behave”.  Echo wasn’t convinced in the least, but listened regardless.

He could hear Wrecker’s loud steps and Omega’s light pitter-patter, only opening his eyes once he felt something gently nudged into his hand.  A scrap of flimsiplast signed by each Batch member.

“Wrecker and I thought we could do a before and after group photo!” Omega continued to excitedly explain how she wanted Echo to know that she loves him no matter how much or how little hair he has.  “You’re my big brother either way. I mean Hunter has lots of hair and Wrecker has none-”

Crosshair and Tech start coughing to cover their laughter, while Wrecker and Hunter do a double take and blanch at Omega.

“-and Cross and Tech have a medium amount of hair- Actually wait, Crosshair doesn’t have as much hair now… Anyways, just know that I love you no matter what!”

Now it was Crosshair’s turn to blanch and narrow his eyes at Omega.  “Alright kid, give someone else a turn.” Crosshair steers her off with a hand to the top of her head, while Omega starts trying to paw his hand away.

The tubes of gel and dye land in Echo’s lap next.  “Hunter thought you could use the gels to style your hair.  I know I’m not one of your old 501st brothers, but I thought a streak of blue in your hair might help you feel like you still carry them with you.”  Tech sheepishly scratches the back of his neck, nose still buried in his datapad again.

“Last but not least-” Crosshair starts.

“Well-” Hunter smirks.

“Hunter I swear-” Hunter laughs, only stopping after getting flicked in the back of his head with a toothpick.

Crosshair tosses a foldable comb to Echo.  “Thought you could tame your hair better than Hunter.” Crosshair gives a self-satisfied smile to Echo, dodging a jab from Hunter.

“I don’t know what to say, thank you guys”, Echo says through trying not to cry.

“Let me know if you need help with the dye!” Tech states without looking up, going to the pilot seat to prepare for their next mission.

***Reblogs keep posts alive, hashtags help the post continue to garner love. Feedback through comments is always welcome, and of course, likes are appreciated too. Thank you so much for reading!!! ☆♡☆ ~Ka'ra

[essapedstom]

part 4.

TW: losing a family member, Blood, Crying, Sad. Nightmares, Unresolved trauma

As you and your father made your way home his scolding could be heard by anyone who was in a 10 mile radius. "I ask you one thing, one thing Y/N and you cannot do it!" The words slap you across the face wanting to respond but you aren't able to. "Would you want Sezan or Lorno to see you behave like this? To see you hurt?" You begin to walk ahead of your father not really wanting to hear what he had to say. He grabbed your arm pulling you back slightly, "Y/N you are their older sister, the one they look up to, You mustn't make mistakes, Not like this!" He yelled baring his teeth unintentionally. "Ma syulang (my flower) you are better than this, do not let tl'ezan down." Being unable to fight it, a small tear rolls down ur blue cheek unsure if it's from the pain of your throat or the fact that your dad rarely let you have freedom due to uncontrollable influence you had on your younger siblings, you simply nodded looking down as you father let go. As if Eywa was connected to your emotions heavy rain fall began to occur soaking your braids and covering you and your fathers skin is harsh drops of water. You both continued to walk and run fast until the familiar sight of the hut came into view. The flap was pushed open aggressively as you and your fathers wet bodies stumbled in. Your tears hidden by the rain drops running down your face, didn't deceive your mother. The loud thundering rain was muffled slightly as the flap closed your arm letting it drop. "Y/N what has happened?" You mother questioned her eyes widening all over your neck and hands splaying open ready to put them on your shoulders. You shook your head wanting to just go to bed "She cannot talk." Her attention snapped to your father who had just spoken and was now sitting cleaning your bow and arrow from the rain water. "What happened ne oeyä 'ite?"  (to my daughter) Your mother growled anger growing by the second. "It was during training sh-"

"DURING TRAINING?" Your mother cut him

off, her loud voice causing your younger brothers to stir in their naps. "please ma txe'lan (my heart) do not shout." your father pleaded eyes travelling to his sleeping sons. "Ta'achi why." more of a demand than a question your mother spat hands now off your shoulders but body in-front of yours, in between your father and you. "She is not your solider, she is not you..........and she is not tl'ezan." She said as she began to break down on the last word. Your eyes shut as the memories flooded your mind, becoming overwhelmed you opened your eyes not wanting to see what was buried deep into your mind.

Heavy tears cascaded from your amber eyes down to your cheeks and lips.

Tl'ezan. Eywa how you missed him, he was your older brother, everything you wanted to be: funny, strong, great warrior. He was the best and you love him. He was put under a lot of pressure by your dad but he always made time to play or hunt with you, he was awesome.

"TL'EZAN!" younger you shouted as he came home from the hunting parties mission, you ran to him as he grabbed your head shaking it around. "Hello Y/N, are you okay?" he asked chuckling happy to see his little sister. Although he was 16 and you were 13 the bond couldn't be closer. "Ugh yes" you said pushing his arms off your head laughing "Come and see what Sa'nu (mother) and i have made ." you exclaimed giggling dragging him further into the hut. As you pulled him in he met with his mother whom he greeted and kissed on the head before his eyes landed on the beautiful new beads that hung onto his songcord. His eyes widened at the sight. "Tewti Sa'nu, irayo." (Wow mom, Thank you.) He said mumbling the words as joy and adoration fuzzed his senses. " i helped too!" you chimed in, causing all 3 of you to laugh. Your mom handed him the beads allowing him to place them onto the side of his loincloth. "It looks good." you complimented causing your brother to grab your head into a hug and thank you also.

That's one of the few memories of your brother you like to remember as it didn't involve the yelling of your father or the frustration your brother felt because of him.

"I know she is not him." Your father whispered.

"Then stop treating her as if she is." Your mother grunted, fangs gritted together as she stepped closer to her mate tears flowing down her face as the memories of her first born played in her head, Your sempu (Father) sighed head down before looking back up past your mother to you.

"I am sorry Y/N."  genuine sadness and guilt roaming in the irises of his large eyes, but you knew in his head he was apologising to your brother because he couldn't save him. Then looking at your mothers his hand on the small of her back. You couldn't do anything but stare at him before turning back and making your way into your hammock next to your younger brothers, much needed sleep hugging you as you drifted off.

You stirred in your sleep, sweat dripping from your forehead, eyes scrunching and relaxing the soft moonlight entered the hut highlighting your face and small scar you had on the left side of your chin. You saw his face. " Tl'ezan where are we going?" your young voice chuckled as he took you deep into the forest not making you aware of his plans. "Somewhere i think you'll learn something new." He exclaimed not giving anything away. "Ugh Tl'ezan." "Ugh Y/N" he mocked laughing as the old shack came into view.

Your eyes widened. "TL'EZAN we aren't supposed to ever come here!" you complained worried about the consequences he'll face if your father ever found out he took you here. "shhh Y/N sempu (Father) will never find out eyawar?" (correct?) He said a smirk on his face. "Eyawar." You responded, sending a smile on both of your faces, you would never tell on your older brother. You began to get closer to the shack crouching low taking long strides when you heard it the voice of an avatar that changed everything.

"NAVI!" the male voice bellowed as immediate rounds began to be shot through the trees towards your and your brother. Tl'ezan grabbed your arm pulling you through the jagged tree roots trying to save you both from the heinous fate that was chasing you. A smaller bullet heavily skimmed past your chin causing it to bleed and you to scream out in pain. Tl'ezan immediately stopped turning around to look at the bleeding lower half of your face, rage filled his heart as he pushed you behind the thick trunk of a tree and took his bow to begin shooting at the

sky demons. He moved behind the tree trunk next to you to collect more arrows whilst looking down you wood splintering everywhere. "Stay here Y/N, we are going home i promise." He said as he returned to shoot another arrow.  You covered your ears from the loud gunfire praying to Eywa it would be over soon and you and your brother could go home. He was doing well taking them out one by one, He was doing so well until you no longer heard the shuffling of your brothers feet when he would collect more arrows, instead you heard the grunt as 3 bullets made their way through this body taking his soul with them and delivering it to Eywa. He fell. His now hole filled body fell backwards facing you, eyes staring at you intensely. "Well done boys, Wrap it up." You heard the Avatars say to each other as they turned around heading back to wherever they came from. Your mouth opened to scream out but was hushed by your brothers raspy "shhh" his still warm hand went over yours trying to comfort you as if you were the one in physical pain. Your heart exploded the fear of not wanting to lose your brother sent you into a frenzy trying to stop the bleeding by placing your small hands on the wounds, but the blood kept coming ,it kept coming out and spewing everywhere. Using all his strength Tl'ezan grabbed your arm looking into your teary eyes. "Y/N."

"NO TL'EZAN!"  you interrupted.

"Y/N." he said again his grip tightening on your arm.

"No tl'ezan no please stop you promised, you promised we would go home." you began to sob as you knew what he was going to say.

"It is not your fault. Go home for me." his breath hitched blood starting to fall from the side of his mouth. Your hands still on his wounds, you searched his face with your eyes. "Nga yawne lu oer." (I love you.) He said with the last breath he held in his lungs. 

His eyes went blank instead of you they looked at nothing? at everything? you couldn't tell. A hefty choked sob danced out of you followed by a scream of desperation and anger. Heavy breaths making you slightly lightheaded. You got up and began to drag the body of your older brother back to the village. Darkness began to fall over the forest making it hard for you to see mixed with your blurry vision due to your tears. "COME ON TL'EZAN PLEASE." you pleaded with his lifeless body as if he would

just awaken and take you home. "HOME TL'EZ YOU- you promised ho-home." you sobbed uncontrollably. You pulled his body a little bit before falling but getting up again. You stumbled and fell but continued to pull him giving yourself and him a few cuts and grazes from the rocks that were underneath you. "TL'EZAN COME ON!" you screamed your voice trembling and hoarse. You prayed to Eywa that she would wake him up that she would do anything to be bring him back. You finally began to see the light of the village.

It was the night of the Festival, where all navi would gather together and celebrate with young ones, old ones, everyone. You screamed in desperation but you were still to far to be heard over the cheers and music of the clan. You continued to drag Tl'ezan but now with his harms draped over yours as you walked backwards to the village adrenaline now taking over causing you to power through the remaining trees and into the village. The blood from your chin flowing onto your chest and his face. Everyone was gathered around Farnet, The clans singer, backs turned towards you.

You dropped on your ass causing tl'ezans head to fall into your lap. Farnets eyes widened as she stopped singing let out a cry of worry. Everyone's eyes turned to look at you covered in your brothers blood from head to toe with his lifeless body laying on top of your legs. You screamed laying down with him still on top of you, crying. The village erupted in cries and shouts and people came rushing over to get his body off of you and see the damage.

Then you heard it, the voice of your fathers that would sound forever changed.

"TL'EZAN" He shouted worry everywhere in his tone. Your mother not far behind him. You continued to cry aloud the pain of losing your brother strong in your heart. You saw you father and mother kneeling beside you along with Mo'at who was one of the first people to see you and Jake.

The scream of terror your mother released would be be imbedded into the minds of other navi for days to come and yours forever. Your mother layed herself upon the body of her dead son as your dad held his hand and silently cried. Mo'at sat still knowing her work would be of no use but still tears fell on her cheek and in between the crinkles of her skin. Jake yelling at you to tell him what had happened. Everything became blurry as you began to feel faint.

"Y/N!" you heard your father yell snapping you back into reality.

"WHAT HAPPENED, WHAT HAPPENED TO MY SON!" This time not silently crying but full on sobbing. You'd never see your dad in this state.

"I DONT KNOW, I DONT KNOW DAD I- I DONT I-"

you could barely get the words out as they choked you.

"MY SON!" you heard your mother scream beside you, looking down at your hands and torso seeing it covered in dried and wet blood and memories of the sky people came flooding back.

"IT WAS THE SKY PEOPLE, THEY Th- they they took him." you mumbled looking up at Mo'at tears in between your lips

"He tried to help me but they- they.. He tried and they shot him, they killed him and i- i couldn't help i tried to stop the bleeding i did- i- i- tried i couldnt stop it it just kept coming and i tried i couldnt it just wouldn't stop." You said all at once losing air but still going. Until jake shushed you gently holding

your head and other navi pulling you out from under Tl'ezan. You realised what was happening and began to scream again clawing at them not wanting to leave your brother.

You shot up from your hammock, nearly falling taking in a large gust of air into your deprived lungs. Waking your little brother Sezan. "Y/N!" You heard him call as he climbed up onto your hammock.

Sezan began to cry out for your parents but they were not there. Your brother lorno still asleep you shushed sezan with the new breath you had taken in not wanting to wake him also. Tears began to stream down both of your faces as you remember what had caused this to happen in the first place, Sezan cried because you cried.

"Shhh Sez shhh it's okay i'm okay." you managed to voice sounding more like a whisper. You pulled him into your embrace holding his head and repeating "I am okay." Unsure if you said it to reassure him or yourself. "What happened tsmuke?" (sister) He asked looking up at you. You took a small breath in before answering him "Just a bad dream." You gave the fakest small smile you ever had in your life. Tears dancing on your face and between your lips. "Was it a bad man?" Sezans innocent little voice asked. "The sky people?" He added on. Tears began to well in your eyes again. "Yes." You responded. "But they are gone we are safe." You lied as you looked down angling your head to see the extra long songcord that half of belonged to your older brother hanging from your waist. You had put it ontop of yours because where Tl'ezans story ended was were yours began,

Your path to becoming a true warrior.

Sezan and Lorno were only 3 when Tl'ezan died their memories of him are quite fuzzy but they do remember who he was how kind he was to everyone, to them. Taking them on rides on his ikran around the Hallelujah Mountains even though he wasn't supposed to. The best big brother ever.

"Im sorry Y/N." Sezan said sorrowfully his tears now staining your chest. A hard pang in your chest, Sezan reminded you a lot of your older brother, not only were the names extremely similar thanks to your father but his kindness and gentility as well as his ability to understand another's emotions and comfort them, something that Lorno wasn't so very good at. "It's okay Sez. Come on let's go back to bed." You spoke as you motioned for him to go back to his hammock with you following behind. As you stepped off your hammock you looked at your parents noticing they weren't in it. Confused you still paid only attention to Sezan putting him back into bed kissing his forehead wiping the rest of his tears and getting back into your hammock. You didn't sleep again. You couldn't, laying awake wondering where your parents were.

You sighed lying back down upset about the scene you caused. You were not going back to sleep. Your nightmare that ruined your sleep most nights had struck again

____________________________________

I hope you guys enjoyed reading as much as i enjoyed writing it.

I started putting the translation just next to the word instead of at the bottom because i think it just makes it easier.

I really liked this part!

[fumblingmusings]

What is going through francis' mind when evelyn pushes him away from matthew? Is he just annoyed with evelyn for acting like he would somehow make things worse when he was trying to help or does it sting a bit that he is no longer seen as even being an older brother to matthew? What are their interactions like? I know they're preoccupied with the war and are all allies but having the whole face family together at that point seems like it would be incredibly awkward. At least evelyn and francis had a sweet moment but i imagine it's strained at times.

He thinks she's being very childish and unhelpful. She isn't pushing him away because it's Francis particularly - she's just lashing out and in that instinctive maternal 'anyone who touches my kid wants to harm them' mindset - like what you see in things like swans when they think their babies are going to be hurt. Oftentimes it is very unhelpful to have the parent flapping and hissing in the background, but they genuinely don't know any better, or they're just in a complete blind panic.

At the same time, she let's Alfred get closer, so again, it's obvious she is not exactly facing up to facts on who is on her side, and at this point in time it is not America. I think it's rather undervalued how much the French and British troops really needed and relied on each other and worked together. The Americans and the (lack of) integration into Allied Forces was a real bone of contention. Evelyn's not got her right head screwed on in that moment - she's in Eva mode, not England mode, if that makes sense. It annoys Francis because she always has the wrong head on at the wrong moment. She can be excellent in a crisis, but only when it pertains to herself. The minute someone else gets involved she is a bit useless.

I think they were both kind of surprised that the Entente ended up working out as well as it did. They are both old as fuck as they are both prone to melancholia, so there are times were they just sit and bond over going 'what the fuck have we done to the world?' you know? But then Francis is more likely to go 'Ah. C'est la vie' and get going whereas Evelyn is more likely to not let it go.

Having said that... The French really went through it in WWI. 70% of those who went off to fight came back injured, or never came back at all. The British Empire's figure, as far as I can see, is around 35%. (The US stat is 8% - like I really can't explain how much WWI wrecked Europe). So for France it's: a fifth of the entire population goes off to fight, and 15% of the entire population are either dead or injured one way or another by the end, and those that do come back 'unharmed' may be carrying trauma of their own. My numbers are probably off. But. Considering France already had an ageing population in 1914... like it's just really hard to verbalise how much the war completely fucked with France's people, and its land.

Francis is hurting badly, and he's getting like no emotional support from the woman who's his closest ally, because she's flapping around being generally unhelpful giving doe eyes towards a kid who's still really wary of her. Francis is more practical than her, but we all know in canon Francis loves to be known as big brother. His actual attempts to act brotherly however... need work. But the big brother angle can very much be read as 'exerting influence without having having to do any actual caretaking'. He wants to have his cake and eat it too without putting in any of the emotional labour that... well. He's a bit sad that Matthew isn't exactly clamouring for his attention, but he's not vain enough to not understand why. For all Evelyn's faults, she certainly allows herself to be weak for her kids. Over and over again sentimentality is her downfall. No-one could ever accuse Francis of the same.

Francis has a better grip on what it is to be a nation and is more compelling on a larger group; Evelyn has a better grasp on what it is to be human and is more compelling one on one. I think that's a neat way to differentiate them.

[deadandwalking]

i’m bored so take my ramble on my story that like 3 people know about

as i continue to write stories for Elise i realise that the characters have developed relationships with eachother that i did not work on developing and i feel like it may be slightly self indulgent but it’s my story and i do what i want anyways. but like, if somebody could actually read the stories and learn Elise’s bond with the main group it would become so so obvious what exactly i seek from their irl counterparts. the most significant one would be what Elise has with Sevuniel and Sartiel. Elise’s first encounter with Sev was right after she had hung herself, he merged with her and Elise could then live as her most authentic self as well as having abilities that she needed to do that. she also learned that she wasn’t actually possessed at all, and was suffering from a psychosis. Elise and Sev developed a learner and mentor type of dynamic, with Elise looking up to Sev for guidance and validation while Sev taught Elise how to navigate her new host and to validate herself instead. as for Sartiel, Elise and him had a much closer relationship. they met after Lana had called upon a guardian angel to protect Elise, as she was the first sauveuse born after Lana’s death. while the guardian angel made his way to Elise, he was found and slaughtered by Sartiel. Sartiel then disguised himself as said angel and went to Elise, with intent to murder her to wreak havoc, as nephilim do. after learning of Elise’s predicament he found making an alliance with her would be more beneficial. he soon developed an attachment to the girl and after the flood decided to make camp with her and his newfound family. Elise and Sartiel started with a very strained, argumentative relationship which quickly formed to something much closer. Elise had even referred to Sartiel as being like a brother, a dad and a best friend all at once. Sartiel started referring to Elise by several petnames over the course of the main story and also labelled her “whatever humans call the blood pets” (a miserable attempt at remembering what children were called in French) Sartiel was fiercely overprotective of Elise and would always attempt to comfort her and help her through whatever issues she faced while Elise taught Sartiel how to be open with his feelings and allowed him time to explore his past traumas while living with her, she then helped him to understand how those traumas were affecting him and how to better himself. Elise’s relationship with Lana is obviously referencing what i have with the irl counterpart but is also symbolic to my older sister in a way only i will understand because i never spoke bout my feelings regarding her. but anyways. Elise learned about Lana after Sartiel’s arrival, and immediately needed to contact her for advice because Elise was scared to fight her battle alone, and Lana had done it already. everything seemed to be working to separate them but Elise pushed and dragged her way to getting what she needed. when she finally got to meet Lana, she had become so numbed by the torture she no longer looked up to Lana, just pitied her and seen her as nothing more than another traumatised little girl wearing too big shoes. she asked Lana to bring the flood with her so both of them could live peacefully in the afterlife. at the beginning, Elise and Lana were viewing eachother as a savior as their title suggests, and by the end weren’t too sure of the difference between them. if it weren’t for Mamua and Adam conveniently being there for the meeting, Elise may have merged with Lana instead of Sevuntiel.

ok so now that the edgy shit is out of the way let me talk about some more silly things

ok so first of all i will never not find it funny that upon meeting Sartiel, Mamua became so much worse. like, years of dealing with Shani and the worst thing he had done was steal for survival then not even two weeks after meeting Sartiel he was hiding a body. he’s so real for that honestly. also chris deserved to die anyways he was a bitch. the girl i based chris off actually smacked my head off a wall once so it only made sense that Shani killed her by doing the same thing. the stab wounds were just for decoration that’s not what killed her. also please tell me why the first time Shani and Sartiel got along was burning the radio tower. like, i feel like it applies to the irl counterparts but could i really not think of any other way for them to bond. i think i’ve wrote them getting along 5 times in total. the radio tower arson, the murder of Elise’s parents, watching the flood, the building a home afterwards and i guess the weddings ? they were a bit rough still but Sartiel was surprisingly well behaved. maybe he just wanted to support Elise though idk. also i’ve realised that Adam barely exists. like, he’s just hovering on the outside of the group. so i must write a whole story based on Adam when i am next motivated. i love him i swear i do but he is not that lore significant he’s like,, the previous Mamua and Shani but with no criminal history and parents that loved him. also weird fact irl Adam is a girl, and she’s 4, but story wise is an 11 year old boy. also despite Lana and Adam very clearly liking eachother the irl Lana and Adam are sisters. this is NOT me supporting incest this is me psychologically placing me and my favourite people into people who bear no resemblance to us (lies. Mamua and Shani’s designs aren’t too far off the irl them except they’re younger and significantly less attractive.) also i love love love past/future mirrors so Lana and Adam had to have something between them because i knew from the beginning that when i wrote the everyone survives alternative that Elise was going to be with Mamua and Shani because i have to be with them in every universe i don’t make the rules.

anyways i’m bored of typing so take this ramble, do with it as you please, i am willing talk about it with anyone who cares

[writing-for-life]

I love this meta, and you know how I think about fandom misogyny in general (and ignoring the women mentioned here, or bending their arcs out of shape to fit a narrative, is part of that).

First of all: By ignoring the women in Hob’s life, we ignore one of the most fundamental topics of The Sandman in general: How humans deal with grief. For him, it must be compounded because he is immortal and he will always see it coming, plus he knows that he will lose every single person he loves eventually, but the gist stays the same:

At some point in our lives, we will experience loss. We have to deal with the raw pain of it first, and then with its echo that NEVER goes away. I don’t expect people who haven’t lost someone yet to understand it, because I didn’t truly for quite a while. Even the losses I experienced during early childhood weren’t the same as losing people as an adult. You simply process differently as a child. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t have the potential to hurt and damage you, but the cognitive processing is quite different.

By not talking about the women and children he loved, we completely block out that fundamental aspect of the story.

As for the individual women…

Eleanor:

She and the baby died in childbirth, so he lost two kids, not just one. The fact that he didn’t get to bond/spend time with the baby doesn’t change that. So let’s put ourselves into that position: You lose your wife/partner AND the newborn baby at once. While trying to come to terms with that immeasurable grief, you still need to be there and stay strong for another, presumably smaller child (could’ve been older of course, but looking at the era, it was more likely to have children closer together, so a “two under two” situation wouldn’t even be unusual) who just lost his mother and a baby brother/sister. Then, you lose that son, too, when he is a young adult. That’s trauma, and you *never* fully recover from that. You only learn to live with it somehow—some people more, some less. And the parallel to Morpheus losing Orpheus is striking for the latter one, only that Morpheus processes (or doesn’t) his trauma completely differently. Hob cries over his son pretty much straightaway. Morpheus doesn’t for quite some time even after this meeting, although we can clearly see it affects him.

I sometimes *do* wonder if making these types of experiences in our own lives makes us more sensitive to these types of subtexts, or if people who can’t process them (yet) purposefully block them out. Probably both, and yet, the latter will ultimately only work for so long until you *have* to face it.

Peggy/Jim:

You know my opinion about her, and what the fandom turns her into for shipping purposes. What you wrote about her is exactly how I see it, and what I already wrote in your other meta, so I won’t regurgitate it here and just point to my reblog:

I personally don’t care much about Hob’s sexuality. In the comics, he comes across straight-leaning and heteroromantic, but I agree that someone who lives so long will probably try everything at least once. And if you try it once and enjoyed it, you quite strictly stop being straight 😉

What I find more head-scratch-worthy is that on the one hand, people will argue that the show is different, and not to compare show!Hob to comic!Hob, but then use the comics to corroborate that opinion as canon. Either go by comics or go by the show, both fine by me. Head-canons are head-canons and totally fine. But squinting hard at the comics, turning Peggy into someone she quite honestly isn’t and saying it’s “canon”, all for the sake of the m/m ship, is just the type of mental acrobatics I can’t get my head around. And I probably don’t have to, so whatever…

In the comics, Hob married Peggy, not Jim, and she was always a woman to him. He asked for her “real name”, and she replied it’s Margaret/Peggy (not Jim, and people like to forget that when they say she said “call me Jim” in World’s End—that was for entirely different reasons you and I both laid out). They also had a son in a later continuation of their story, but that wasn’t written by Gaiman afaik, so is quite strictly not canon. She dies the same way though, so they tried to keep their arc intact.

Audrey:

I think Morpheus visited Hob because he was in the process of getting his affairs in order, so to speak, and much like in SoM, he wanted to say goodbye I guess (only that this time, he knew for definite).

That whole conversation is exactly what you say (at least to me): Trying to process grief. And we’re seeing Hob in the denial phase here, where everything is still so raw that he wants Audrey back. He’s experienced it before since it’s a normal stage of the grieving process, but at this point, he’s just not coping because at some point, you get the straw that breaks the camel’s back: How many times can you go through it when you are immortal before you crack?

And that, right there, is why being human means to die.

As much as I love the idea of Hob being the one who keeps Morpheus’ memory alive—how much longer will he be able to lose people before it starts to become unbearable? We are told he will never give up, but I’d honestly love to see him again in a few thousand years…

These are really existential questions we are SUPPOSED to ask ourselves when we read The Sandman, and by erasing them from the narrative, we do the whole story dirty in my view.

Gwen:

I wrote about her many times and point to my sandman meta tag in my pinned post. I don’t like the way she’s (under)written, simply because she’s only a vehicle for Hob’s redemption and a “the curse is broken”-girl for Morpheus. She doesn’t really have a story of her own tbh, she’s a token black woman to forgive Hob, and it’s not even written well and half-arsed.

It’s one of the things I think Neil really didn’t get right, and I am hopeful he’s aware of it, and they will change it for the show.

Hob's wives and girlfriends, the forgotten women of The Sandman

DISCLAIMER: the following posts contains major spoilers for Season of Mists, World's Ends, The Kindly Ones and The Wake.

A couple of weeks I told @writing-for-life my next meta would be about the women who shared Hob's life. There's not much to work on in the comics for most of them, but the fact remains that they exist and that Hob probably loved them all and. And his second wife in particular, Margaret/Peggy, had a story dedicated to her journey, in World's Ends.

Hob's canon romances always interested me because these women were all mortals, while he was not. We know he had at least one kid who died, and he saw all his lovers/wives die while knowing he would never follow them in the grave unless he wanted it. We didn't see it happen with Gwen, but it will, eventually.

It makes me wonder: how does he do it? How does he manage to be completely invested in a relationship knowing that the people he loves will all grow old and die, while he will stay the same and live forever? I would have loved it if the comics had him discussing that, and I still hope in the show he will. We never saw what his last conversation with Hob was, after all... I like to think that Dream stayed a bit longer than usual with Hob, and that they opened up about their respective lives and experiences with love. Audrey is still alive at this point and probably in Hob's life at this point, it would be nice if she showed up, met Dreams and asked him embarrassing questions... but I digress haha

Before I continue I'd like to confess that not being a shipper, I don't read Dreamling fics - I rarely read fics revolving a ship in general... I prefer Morpheus x oc or non romantic fics -, so any comment I can make about the fandom is based on what I see on social media, and not on fanfic contents. I'm sure that Hob's wives and girlfriends are often evoked and maybe sometimes, even more developed there than they are in canon.

Hob's first wife: Eleanor

Eleanor's just a portrait, we don't know much about her except that Hob probably cared about her since in the show he still calls her "my Eleanor" long after she died.

She exists only to show that Hob's situation stabilized after he started making money. Also, their son's death and hers may have been the first time that it hit Hob in the head that while he could live forever, he couldn't prevent his loved ones from dying. The loss of his family affected him very much and yet, he still wanted to live. I'll probably write a meta later about how his situation purposely mirrors Morpheus', about how they both lost everything they loved at some point but reacted in a completely different manner.

Hob's second wife: Peggy/Jim

We meet Margaret/Peggy/Jim in World's End. She pretends to be a man hence why she calls herself Jim, as she did during all the trip during which she met Hob Gadling. It's quite obvious that she did it for safety issues, as she would have probably not been allowed to travel on a boat let alone work on one if she had revealed as girl without a chaperon, and she clearly enjoyed the freedom and advantages she got as passing for a man. It's good to emphasize how brave she was to do that, as if her secret had gone out it could have put her in great danger.

Hob was the only one who saw through her, but he protected her secret. He also confirmed her doubts that he was much older than he seemed, a secret she protected as well. It seems she never believed he was immortal though - see the part about Audrey - .They bonded over having secrets they could possibly not reveal to anyone else, so it's a really sweet love story.

Later, in The Kindly Ones, we learn that Peggy died in his arms, during the Blitz. If they had kids, he doesn't say, but it's obvious he loved her very much and was deeply affected by her death, as he says on Audrey's grave, in The Kindly Ones, that Audrey's the first woman he was with since Peggy died.

Now I know that certain fans want Peggy to be trans or non-binary because she disguises as a man and asks to be called Jim. It's not much because they care about her character or representation, but because it would make Hob canonically queer. Now I have no problem with anyone's headcanons: there are no right or wrong headcanon, no stupid or offensive ones - as long as they're not hateful, homophobic, racist, transphobic etc. - and whatever makes people feel represented and happy is fine by me. That said, I personally believe it's a bit simplistic to reduce a woman's refusal to follow societal norms to her being a man or non-binary, but again, whatever floats your boat guys.

I personally think that Peggy/Jim was written as a strong young woman who wanted to travel and see the world, knew she couldn't do that if she was seen as a woman, so she disguised as a man, took a man's name and enjoyed the role because let's be honest: the life for white men during this period was wayyyyyy funnier and easier than for women. What do you mean, it still is? I don't understand, are you saying institutional patriarchy is still very much a thing? *pretends to be shocked*.

You can find many stories like Peg's in modern literature, and of course, in real life!

As for Hob, he knew Peggy was a woman quite early, and when he talks about her on Audrey's grave he says "Peg' ", not "Jim", which tells me he kept seeing her as a woman. But again, that's my headcanon and I won't argue about that, I just feel like Peggy/Jim deserves better than being discussed solely regarding Hob's sexuality. Her story is one of my favorite in the comics :)

Talking about the particular subject of Hob's sexuality is immortal and even though the comics doesn't mention any male boyfriend, he seems open minded and hedonistic enough to have at least tried... I always headcanoned Hob Gadling as pansexual, because it doesn't make sense to me that a man who lived for hundred of years would be straight, simply.

I really hope that the show will give us Peggy/Jim's story on screen, she highly deserves it. I love this woman, I just wish it would be clearer in the comics that she's the future Mrs Gadling... I learned through social media that the Peg' he mentioned on Audrey's grave was the Peggy he met in World's Ends. It's very confusing, the way it's written.

Hob Gadling's girlfriends

We of course don't know every girlfriend that Hob had, in the comics we're just introduced to two: Audrey, and Gwen. We learn a couple of other names in The Kindly Ones though: Lisabet and Anne.

Audrey

Audrey's another woman who's never part of the conversations, yet the panel dedicated to Hob's reaction to her death is the first panel that made Hob sympathetic to me. But whenever this panel is discussed, everything that's related to Audrey is ignored so the focus is entirely on Hob's concern for Morpheus. Before I read the comics, I had no idea that Hob had just buried his lover, and begged Morpheus to resurrect her because the pain of losing her was too hard to handle.

A bit like for Margaret/Peggy, it's not clear at all that in Season of Mists, the woman we see with Hob in bed is Audrey, the woman whose grave he visits in The Kindly Ones.

It's really in The Kindly Ones that we can see how much he cared for Audrey, as he cared for all the lovers he had before but died. The reaction he has, he admits it himself, responds to a question we probably all asked: does he ever get used to it? Become insensitive, with time?

The answer's no:

I always wondered why Morpheus visited him at this moment: was it because he felt his pain and wanted to be here for him? Or was it because he wanted to say one last goodbye and it happened to coincide with the moment Hob was drowning in his grief? Was it because he himself needed a friend, more than ever?

Anyway he certainly didn't expect Hob's request. For the first time that we know of, Hob asked Dream to use his supernatural powers. Hob, the immortal who saw all the people he knew die, not only wasn't used to it but asked Dream basically the same thing than Orpheus asked him: help him to get his lover back. It must have been very painful for Dream, but poor Hob couldn't know that. I doubt he even knew that Dream had once been married and had a son.

So yeah, afterwards he runs after Morpheus and tries to make him confide in him, he even feels his friend's death is imminent and he shows a deep concern, but that's not all that this panel is about. I think it's about saying that no matter how old you are, how many lives you lived, how many people you loved and loved you.... The death of a loved one is always painful.

2. Gwen

Gwen is Hob's last girlfriend that we know of. She's also, in his own admission, the first Black woman he dates. Considering that Hob used to be an enthusiastic slave trader who needed an ethereal entity to tell him that slavery was wrong to think that he should find another way to become rich, I find this information.... interesting. After 600 years, it was about time... did he refuse to date Black women because of guilt for what he did? Or because he remained racist for a long time and didn't think Black women were worth his attention?

I feel very protective of Gwen, first because I dislike how she was written as a moral caution for Hob, as she absolves him for his sins but without knowing the extent of his sins - she has no idea he's immortal and was a slave trader - . When she appears in the show - and I really hope she will! - , I hope she'll be written in a way that she doesn't exist solely for Hob to express his guilt while being too coward to tell her the truth about what he did.

I was going to say something very personal about me, but I'm not sure the comparison I want to make would work, so I prefer keeping it for me, finally. If anyone's interested in knowing me better they can join me in private though :)

The second reason why I'm very protective of her is that as Audrey, on social media she's generally treated as non existent from the fandom - who focuses entirely on Hob's grief regarding Morpheus' death - . I recently saw a wish regarding Gwen that made my blood boil and almost made me hit the 'deactivate' button, but I'm not here to start a war, let alone to point fingers. But I really wish some people paid more attention to what they wrote, because some stuff I've read these last days came off as very insensitive.

And I'll conclude with one last panel featuring the gorgeous Gwen:

[flashflashhundredyarddash]

batkids and their relationships with their siblings headcanons. under read more because this got fucking LONGGG

dick

dick is the eldest so he doesnt want to bog down his younger siblings with his problems, but if he DOES, he tends to talk to jason about it

dick and cass start to really begin to bond when Cass shows up to dicks gymnastics class for 3rd-6th graders and then cass shows up all the sixth graders and they get frozen yogurt after lmao

dick and tim are Very much thick as thieves. tim is very much like bruce on the Emotional Suppression scale, so dick just really wants to make sure his little brother is safe and happy ALL the time

Duke and Damian are the only two really permanently at the manor anymore, so when dick drops by he tries to do something with both of them. duke frantically zoom calls dick every other week to help him with his his trig homework. dick shows up to dukes high school graduation with literally the BIGGEST SIGN

everyone insists damian is dicks favorite but he does actually genuinely love all his siblings equally, his relationship with damian is just Very different from the others because of the age gap and being dami's primary caretaker for a year. dick babies dami every chance he gets

jason

would sell Dick to satan for One corn chip

him and cass don't have the greatest start to their relationship because cass is very much Against Killing so it takes a while for jason to warm up to her and earn her trust. now, though, jason is competing with steph by showing cass all the classic American Teenager things she missed out on. steph is currently winning but jason is like 98% positive a crunch wrap from taco bell is going to push him over the edge

tim and jason are currently competing over who can solve the most cases in a month. tim is winning. that won't last long.

jason Loves to Big Brother duke its so embarrassing. duke will get out of school and go to his car and jason is SITTING IN THE FRONT SEAT FRANTICALLY WAVING TO GET DUKES ATTENTION. JASON THAT IS MY CAR. signal has one (1) mission with arsenal and arsenal goes hey did you ask that girl to homecoming yet and duke is like I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU.

Damian is proof that Actually, Little Brothers are Pests. Jason fully believes that he was brought back from the dead PURELY to torment damian and he will fulfill this mission at any cost

cassandra

it actually really upset her when Dick didn't accept her at first. she knows her other siblings really adore dick so his lack of trust was really disheartening. it takes dick a while but once he Actually Accepts that cass is going to be a permanent part of their life and oh, wow, dick you really hurt her feelings he really hyperfocuses on bonding with cass for a couple of months which definitely improves their relationship

she really likes jason!! their relationship doesn't start well but because he's close with steph and tim who are cass's top two favorite people to exist ever, cass is like well i GUESS ill hang out with him more. jason is fun to talk to because he always tries his best to explain jokes and give context to what people are talking about (also tim took her to taco bell already but she didn't tell jason she just wanted to hang out)

cass LOVES tim. they just click okay. tim always seems to know when to give her space and when to push and come closer. Tim's "guest room" is just her room lets be real. tim and cass occasionally get mistaken for twins and Cass Loves it.

duke makes cass listen to metal once and cass loses. her. damn. mind. they bond over music a lot because they both Love Music to a degree the others in their family don't.

damian!! damian is her little brother!!! dami isn't As Hostile to cass at first because he is 100% aware cass has the edge in fighting and respects her. cass likes all of his instagram posts and they have a snapchat streak going

tim

tim Loves dick, dick was his first sibling!! he had Very strong hero worship when he first met dick but it mellowed out when tim got older because wow 17 is really not that cool and mature lol. tim has an open invitation to dick's apartment which he does occasionally take advantage of. tim has more than once scared the shit out of wally when wally comes over and wally is convinced they're being robbed (HA) for half a second. i mean. he's not wrong.

listen. tim understands that forgiving the guy who tried to kill you would be a Struggle for some people and it was! definitely! but also at least he can trust jason to, uh, be open about if he doesn't like tim. which is not an assurance he has with other people. so if the guy who tried to kill him tells him tim is cool now then like. maybe tim isn't that bad or annoying a person? also jason arrested a whole gang and won the cases competition but then it created a power vacuum that the whole batfam had to clean up the rest of the month. thanks, jason.

tim LOVES cass. you know how most of the time theres this empty feeling inside you and you just kind of ignore it because you don't know what will fix it or if you do, you know you can't fix it? cass makes that empty feeling feel a little less empty. they just click. tim always tries to travel with cass whenever she leaves gotham.

tim and duke. Tim is actually the sibling who duke goes to whenever he has questions he doesn't want to ask bruce or alfred about, like, life or vigilante-ing or school or college or whatever and Tim is always like yes!! i love Giving Advice and Solving Problems!! tim and duke and jason fill out their college applications together.

tim and damian. LMAO. ROUGH START THAT'S ALL ILL SAY. at some point alfred goes like fuck it. family therapy. and tim and dami are PISSED. tim and damian get along best when they have a common enemy to work against. their relationship gets much better when damian is older and they actually talk about their feelings like emotionally stunted bats. despite how bad their relationship was, tim will ALWAYS protect damian

duke

very much intimidated by dick at first. dick is so much older and has his own job and friends and life and is very much AN ADULT. dick likes to take duke out to do lots of cool stuff (paintball, lasertag, tech exhibitions, concerts, etc). also, dick PERSONALLY introduced duke to superman and is dating THE FLASH. 10/10 awesome big brother.

was intimidated by jason for 0.5 seconds before jason actually opened his mouth and started speaking. jason is literally. So Embarrassing. which is weird because nobody else really seems to feel that way about jason but duke knows he's 100% in the right here. like yeah jason is also An Adult and does Adult Stuff but he's also at the manor like every other weekend???? and he always complains about bruce but always seems to be in the same room bruce is in????? like okay jason. they bond over literature!! jason and duke and alfred will spend literal hours talking about books and duke loves it. duke is the only one who doesn't think jason is funny and jason gets so upset about it lmao.

cass has this one week where she gets really into photography and by virtue of being nearby (and also not nocturnal), duke becomes her victim subject. duke prints out all the pictures and hangs them up in his room (his favorite is one he took when he stole the camera and took a really bad selfie of them together).

tim is closest in age to duke so duke tends to hang around with him a lot. tim introduced duke to his young justice friends and duke is like yes!!! meta-friends!!!! tim really helps duke out with his powers because tim is always like wow i wonder if your powers would work if we did This? can you see farther than other people? is your visible spectrum of light different than other humans? Bruce does the same thing but bruce is boring about it lol.

damian and duke live in the same house and will be in the same room and just send each other social media posts back and forth. they follow each other on instagram and will, OCCASIONALLY, make tik toks together because they're tik tok fiends. each of his siblings have visited his parents once or twice but damian routinely comes with him.

damian

damian gets a special bullet point to say that it took him. forever to come around to the idea of having siblings. he very much believed that he was Bruce's Blood Son and everyone else were just tagalongs or allies. it took him ages to acknowledge that dick, jason, tim, and cass were his siblings, so when duke came and like a week later damian was like Ah, Yes, this is my brother Thomas everyone else was like dude wtf

listen. LISTEN. Obviously. Richard is very highly skilled. and also Father values him highly. and also Richard will listen to Damian complain about his schoolmates. and also Richard is much more patient with Damian than other members of his family. listen....,,, (all this to say damian kind of fucking adores dick lmaooooo this kid).

Todd is kind of unbearable but damian has been informed this is both a normal feeling when it comes to Todd and also big brothers. damian was an only child for ten years so yes, Father, if Todd attempts to tickle me I WILL break his fucking nose. yes i WILL put money in the swear jar but I want you to know i don't regret it. they always try to sneak up on each other but mostly fail.

DRAKE!!! but no lol once damian grows up and is like I Apologize for attempting to murder you it was wrong and you are just as much a son to Father as I am tim is like UGH i guess its cool since ur being so emotionally mature and all. also im 2 for 5 on siblings trying to murder me so im definitely going to win trauma bingo and damian is like i take it back you are insufferable. When Will My Older Siblings Stop Joking About Their Trauma.

CASS!!! listen. cass is cool. Cass Gets It. They have a special Bond. also damian really likes it whenever cass is home because 1) he gets to hang out and do something cool with cass and 2) he feels significantly safer with cass in the house because Nobody will be able to hurt any of their family if Cass is there. ALSO he tries to call her cain but everyone is like DONT DO THAT and he doesn't want to call her wayne bcus theyre ALL wayne (dick adds it on as a middle name but also Richard John Wayne West-Grayson is just. the lamest name ever so dick needs to reconsider it before his upcoming nuptials)((dick will not reconsider it except maybe whether grayson-west would work better)) and so he tries cassandra but cass is like :) call me cass and damian is like cassandra is more formal and respectful and cass is like :) and finally damian just has to give in.

Duke! him and duke actually live together so they get the Most Bonding Time and have a bunch of inside jokes as a result. (is it bad i wanted to laugh because inside jokes... joker... i'll see myself out). they're eating breakfast together (and also alfred sits with them IM NOT A MONSTER ALFIE'S LIKE 70 NOW OKAY) and duke laughs and bruce is like what are you laughing at, son? and duke is like oh damian just showed me this funny meme and then he shows the phone to bruce and bruce grabs it (both the boys groan) and after WAY TOO LONG is like "i don't get it" and so now duke and damian have to try and explain the comedic intricacy of bob's burgers

[wdwmarveldisney]

Solo

Theo Raeken x Stilinski!reader

Request by @castieltheasstiel - So I've had this idea that it's a Theo x reader and the reader is Stiles' younger sister (only by like a year) and she's really tough and can take care of herself but maybe she gets hurt or something and Theo is the only one there and he helps her and it's just fluffy

Summary: You think you’ve found a pattern to the hiding places of a new threat and go solo. Theo’s there when you get hurt, despite your wishes.

Masterlist

A/N: Ok so I love this. Like I had so great writing it and just like, it was so much fun. Thank you so much for requesting.

Part two is here.

GIF isn’t mine

Ever since you were little, you were independent. You didn't like having other people do things for you. You'd do everything by yourself or not at all. And that caused a hell of a lot of trouble for your parents. A child as mischievous as your older brother Stiles and another that refused to practically everything most of the time meant their hands were full. The only person they'd ever see you let help was Stiles. You adored him and being one year apart meant you were always going through similar things and he always understood. When your mum passed, the independence you had became more of a shut everyone out thing. You were strong, your dad only saw you cry once or twice and it was never in front of Stiles. You didn't let your dad do the things he used to do like cook dinner everyday and pack your school lunch because you'd do them yourself. You shut everyone out, including Stiles.

But that doesn't mean you grew apart, he still knew you like the back of his hand. Which is how you got dragged into the woods with Scott to find half a dead body. Which is how you were now, a few good years later, stuck in all this. The pack were currently dealing with a group of witches, ones who weren’t exactly friendly to werewolves. Something about a past trauma. You weren’t really listening because you were too busy studying the map. They had targeted three different places where there had been werewolves, all seemingly random except the presence of werewolves. You looked at the places, realising they were close to wooded areas but also close to antique stores. Each attack seemed planned like stalking and and like they waited. So maybe they did just target certain werewolves, all of which are adults.

“Hey!” You’re head shot up and you looked round the pack with wide eyes before meeting Stiles’ gaze. You let out a small hum of question, ignoring how everyone looked a little worried. “You okay?” His arms crossed over his chest and you realised he was getting protective, like usual. “Yeah, I’m good,” you looked back at the map and when they stayed silent, you rolled your eyes and flared at all of them, “I get I’m pretty but can we get back to business?” Lydia and Scott laughed while the rest seemed annoyed. Well, excluding Theo. Theo was smirking at you like he wanted to laugh but he didn’t want Stiles to target him. Both you and the Raeken boy had become closer since he had joined the pack with a promise of not betraying them again. Whether he’d keep good on that promise was unknown but that didn’t stop the two of you from bonding over annoying Stiles.

Soon enough, the pack meeting was over and you were all leaving to do your parts of the plan and you thanked the gods that you didn’t have anything to do so you could go check out the store next to the most recent attack. You hadn’t told them the possible connection and you wouldn’t until you had some sort of evidence to back it up. Everyone else was busy, except Theo, Liam, Mason and Corey so you knew you had time. Three of those boys would be in school, which is where you were supposed to be, and Theo would probably be in his apartment, sleeping. He didn’t like to put any effort in if he didn’t have to.

You slammed the back door of the jeep, leaning into the space between Stiles and Scott. Your brother had insisted on taking you back to school so you would have to wait for the two to leave before heading to the store. You decided to get the bus there since there was a stop just by it. The two in the front were discussing tactics whilst you nodded along to the faint music from the radio. When you got to the school, you went to go and pretend to walk in when Stiles stopped you, “Are you sure you’re okay? You were acting weird at the meeting,” you rolled your eyes and scoff at your brother, sending a small smirk to the both of them. They both looked worried and you felt a little guilty for what you were about to do, “I’m fine,” you hoped that Scott wasn’t using his heightened senses to tell if you were lying or not. They both looked slightly reassured so with one final pat to your brother’s shoulder, you climbed out of the heel and headed straight towards the entrance of the school.

Waiting until you heard them pull away, you looked round to make sure that the other three weren’t around because as much as you loved them, Liam would snitch. Once they were down the road, you detoured from where you were heading and made your way to the bus stop just round the corner.

It wasn’t long before you arrived and you wandered towards the store. Bell ringing as you walked in, your grip tightened on your bag. This lady walked around one of the shelves, looking around thirty or thirty five. She smiled politely at you, wiping her hands on her jeans as she questioned, “Now shouldn’t you be in school?” Fiddling with your bag strap, you shrugged and took a few more steps into the store whilst admiring the objects on the shelves. You reached up to one the books that sat in a pile and began flicking through the pages when you heard her clear her throat. Slamming the book shut, you pretended that you didn’t see the spells within and sent a small friendly grin as you spoke, “I have a free period. I was looking at what happened just down the road when I saw store. Antiques are interesting, especially ones like this,” you held the book, and watched her expression fall. You sighed, shoulders falling as you watched her approach looking furious. You held the book out to her and she snatched it out of your hand whilst glaring you down, “Get out of me shop,”

“What happened to make you hate werewolves? My friends aren’t trying to hurt you, if you just trust them-”

“Get out!” She shouted as her arm flew out towards you and you were thrown back. You flew into one of the shelves near the door, a bunch of things falling and breaking on you as you groaned. “I’m not trying to hurt you,” you mumbled but she didn’t seem to care about what you were saying, using her powers to lift you up and open the door. You were forced out and landed on pavement with another groan and scrapes across your palms. Carefully lifting yourself up, you missed the fast approaching footsteps and didn’t even know someone was there until two hands were gently helping you. Your natural instincts kicked in and you shoved the hands off you and threw a punch without even looking at the person. Laughs fell from your lips as you realised it was Theo who was stumbling back and holding his jaw. “I’m so sorry,” you giggled and he shook his head, knowing you didn’t mean it.

“Ow,” he muttered as he rubbed across his jaw and rolled his eyes. You limped closer but he stopped you, walking over to you and letting you lean into him as he helped you to his car. “Why didn’t tell anyone where you were going?” You glanced to his face, smirking at the worry and concern glistening in his eyes as he frowned at you. You watched it almost double as he scanned your face, no doubt all red and bruising and maybe cut, there was some china in there. “I wasn’t going to waste there time, I had it. Besides, I like working solo,” he laughed, shaking his head as he opened the door for you and poured at how he helped with everything. You could do stuff on your own.

“Why were you here?” You asked but he simply closed the car door in your face and raced round to the his seat. He climbed in and did his seatbelt before grabbing the steering wheel and tapping his fingers against it. You were about to ask again but he turned to you, sheepishly smiling, “I followed you,” Before you could even start to tear him apart, he was explaining himself, “You were acting weird and I wanted to make sure you were okay. It’s a good thing I was here,” you scoffed, pushing down a laugh of disbelief as you glared at him, “Right, ‘cause you were a massive help when I was thrown into a wall,” Theo glared right back, face void of emotion but eyes alight with concern. You slumped in your seat, leaning against your hand with your elbow rested next to the window. You stared out at the street, avoiding his gaze and he huffed, starting the car up.

It wasn’t until at least the third turn before you realised he wasn’t driving to your house, “Where the hell are we going?” Theo didn’t answer straight away, simply scanning your face with his worried stare. Finally, he looked back to the road and turned into the parking lot of his apartment building, “Stiles and Scott are there, thought that you wouldn’t want them to know,” he shrugged like it was obvious before parking the car up and jumping out. You watched him begin to make his way round to help you out so you opened up the door and climbed out yourself, matching past him and towards the door of the building. You heard his scoff but pretended like you didn’t as you turned around and called to him, “You coming or what?” He made his way over to you, leading the way to the elevators and the two of you stayed in silence until you reached his apartment.

It was surprisingly neat and homely for someone like Theo. You fell back onto the sofa as Theo disappeared off somewhere and when he returned, you let out a groan of frustration when you saw what he had. He flashed a fake smile as he opened up the first aid kit on the coffee table and took a seat next to it and in front of you. He immediately reached for a disinfectant for the scrapes on your hand and you think there may a cut or two on your forehead because the headache was crazy. When Theo began to wipe away at the cuts, he noticed your annoyed pout and smiled with a soft chuckle, “What’s up with you?”

“I could do this,” he shook his head and reached to wipe another cut while his eyes flickered over to meet yours for a split second, “I know. But I’m going to do it,” you rolled your eyes but couldn’t help leaning into his touch, even when the disinfectant stung like hell. He smirked at that and you shoved his shoulder lightly, “Don’t make me punch you again,” you both laughed as Theo moved to your hands, holding them in one of his whilst he gently padded at your palms. He sent apologetic smiles at every wince and you tried your best to grin back. When he finished, he held your hand for a second than he probably should’ve but you weren’t complaining. Finally dropping your hand, he picked up the few wipes he had used and sent an awkward smile before disappearing off to throw them away. When he returned, he saw you staring at your hands with blank eyes, clearly stuck in some sort of daze. “Hey,” he mumbled, falling into the space next to you and giving you a gentle grin when you looked up. You paused for a second before nodding to yourself and curling up into his side. You felt him flinch and pulled back immediately but Theo was quick to wrap his arm around your shoulders and carefully pulled you into him.

A blush made its way to your face, a smile lighting up your face as you shuffled slightly closer. The two of you sat in silence, Theo’s hand moving up and down your arm and he placed a soft kiss to your head. And you stayed there, grinning like idiots.

[calpalirwin]

Phantom Pain

Summary: Trauma bonding turns into a full blown crush with Bucky

Word Count: 2.9k

And away, and away we go!

__

You heard the startled gasps behind you as you lowered your body before pulling yourself up on the pull up bar again. “Yes?” you questioned, repeating another rep.

“I-I-I-” a teenage boy's voice stuttered. “Mr. Stark!” he yelled in slight panic.

You sighed, letting go of the bar and landing on your feet. “Yes?” you repeated, turning to face the lanky teenager with his mop of brown hair, and his companion, a girl a few years older, stifling giggles into her hands, both of their cheeks flushed. “Oh,” you said in realization. “You must be Peter. Uh, Tony’s in the lab, I think.”

Peter nodded mutely, before quickly dashing out of the training room, leaving you face to face with the young woman. “Gay,” you said simply. “And I think Vision’s with Tony.”

Her blush deepened, as she too, hightailed it out of the room with a muttered “Tony has a brother?”

You chuckled quietly to yourself. Of course your brother wouldn’t have told his newest members about you. Something about it not being vital information, and liking the shock value of it.

“And this is the training room,” a voice you did recognize said as Steve came into your line of sight, a man matching his stature trailing behind him silently. “Oh, hey, Stark.”

“Capsicle,” you greeted with a salute.

“Stark?” the other man asked in confusion. “I thought-”

“Fortunately there’s two of us,” you corrected. “Or unfortunately, depending on your opinion of Starks in general. Y/N,” you introduced yourself, offering out your hand.

“Bucky,” the man said, shaking your hand.

“Nightmares, again?” Steve asked you, his eyes glancing about the room.

“Sometimes you frighten me with how observant you are, Rogers,” you said grimly.

“Nightmares?” Bucky questioned, intrigue painting the features of his perfectly sculpted face.

“An unfortunate lingering side effect of my time in the Army, yeah,” you explained. “Something I’m sure you can relate to,” you added with a pointed glance at Bucky’s left arm which was completely metal, your mind already curious to how it worked, and how to make it better. “Working out helps. Something about physical exertion canceling out mental exertion.”

“Well, I might have to join you some time. See if your theory holds up.”

You held out your arms, gesturing about the giant training room. “Feel free. Everything here is open 24/7 to accommodate the mad geniuses and PTSD freaks.”

“And which one are you?” Bucky asked. And you knew it was a stupid question given what little information you had already provided him with. But you could also recognize a flirting edge when you heard one.

“I feel like the answer’s obvious. But, in the event that it’s not, I’m both. Pleasure to meet you, Bucky. And welcome to Avengers headquarters.”

~~~

A couple nights later, you were in the lab tinkering about, when you saw Bucky walk by in gym shorts and a tank top, his hair pulled back in a small bun. “Can’t sleep, huh?” you called out.

His body tensed as he whirled around, relaxing when he saw it was you. “Yeah. Thought I’d try out your theory.”

“It’s a good theory,” you assured, before refocusing on what you’d been working on.

“You have a lot of faith in a theory I’ve yet to test for myself,” Bucky said, stepping into the lab with you.

“I don’t do faith. I do facts,” you replied bluntly.

“Mmm, then how do you know it’s a good theory?”

“A good theory isn't whether it’s proven to be correct or not. A good theory is about being able to be repeated and replicated. Tested multiple times over and over. My theory just also happens to be correct.”

“Wow, you are a Stark.”

“I’m not an idiot, is what you mean. But rest assured I don’t have the same level of arrogance my brother inherited from our father. Or at least, I like to believe I don’t. But, results don’t lie. The physical exertion that comes from working out is enough to distract the brain from the mental exertion that comes from unwanted memories. Is it perfect? No, because it’s not a cure. But it does well enough anyway. And you can take my word for it. Or Rhodey’s, or Sam’s, or Steve’s. And that’s just the military crew. Or, you can test it for yourself. As I said, it’s a good theory. Very testable.”

Bucky’s tongue clicked in his cheek. “Mmm, and if it’s such a good theory, why are you here in the lab instead of in the training room?”

“A distraction, is a distraction, is a distraction. And I have work to do.”

“And what is it that you’re working on?” he asked, stepping closer to peer over your shoulder.

“Prosthetic limbs for amputees. Ones that aren’t hunks of metal. No offense.”

“None taken. I didn’t exactly get a say in the matter.”

“Right… Sorry…”

“No, don’t apologize. Something more… realistic looking would be nice. But the metal’s worked so far. Enhances already enhanced abilities.”

A shudder went down your spine. “Right. Super soldier strength mixed in with whatever tech is loaded up in that thing. I’ve taken a lot of hits in my day that I’d hate to experience again, but I’d do it if it meant a guarantee of never being on the receiving end of being hit by that. Like… the damage you were able to inflict on Tony, even in his suit…” you let out a low whistle. “Damn… no thanks.”

“Sorry? I think?”

You laughed, waving a hand dismissively. “Please. It’s not that he didn’t deserve it. The amount of times I wish I could clock him myself… My only regret was having not been there to actually see it.”

“Why do I get the feeling you and Tony don’t actually get along?”

“Oh, we do. It’s just… typical sibling shit, I suppose. We had different ways of coping with our parents dying. He went the standard billionaire spoiled brat route. I went to the Army. He took over the company. I stayed in the Army. He realized the damage the company was actually doing and became Iron Man. I was part of that damage.”

“Shit…”

Again, you waved a hand dismissively. “Don’t get me wrong. He’s my older brother. I love him. He’s rectified a lot of his past by helping turn Stark Industries into the Avengers. He's, dare I say, gained a conscience. But he’s also far from perfect. Still too arrogant for his own good. But I like him a lot better these days than I used to. I mean, I’m here.”

“So… you work for him? Doing what exactly?”

“Yes, and no. I live and work here, yes. But I don’t necessarily work for my brother. I help him and Bruce out a lot. Perks of not being an Avenger myself means I’m here to keep working when they’re gone. But, for the most part I keep to myself doing my own project.”

“Right, the prosthetic limbs. Personal reasons?”

“Yeah, you could say that. Seen my fair share of wounded vets. And seen my fair share of their struggle with shitty prosthetics. And even if they are complete shit, they’re also expensive. But I’m in a position where I can make non-shitty ones and, pun not intended, not have them cost people an arm and a leg. So, that’s what I do. Each prototype gets me closer and closer to making them as realistic as possible. Restoring range of motion you won’t get with cheap plastic wrapped around steel. It’s like… a complete limb transplant. Or that’s the ultimate goal anyway. Make prosthetics so real it’s like you never lost a limb in the first place.”

“That’s… noble of you.”

You shrugged. “Let’s just say I have a soft spot for broken things.”

Bucky smiled at that.

~~~

For the next handful of months, it wasn’t uncommon for Bucky to find you awake in the lab, or for you to find him awake in the training room.

Some nights, the two of you would work out your frustrations of the memories that haunted you both, and you’d tease him about how it wasn’t fair you always drenched through your shirt while he barely broke a sweat, smiling at the way he’d laugh.

Other nights, the two of you would swap war stories while he watched you work in the lab, and when you gathered up the courage to ask to run tests on how the tech in his arm worked to further your own research, he willingly obliged.

“So… were you just an enlisted soldier, or an officer?” he asked one night while you tinkered away.

“An officer. Made First Lieutenant.”

“That’s just below Steve. Which…”

“Is still lower than Sergeant, yes,” you laughed. “Technically anyway. But as an officer, I would still outrank you.”

“What happened?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… no offense, but First Lieutenant isn’t exactly brag worthy. I imagine you meant to go further. What happened? Was it the damage you mentioned with Tony?”

You nodded. “Yeah. The same accident that started his whole Iron Man gimmick was the same accident that ended my career.”

Bucky nodded, and you knew he wanted to ask more, but didn’t want to pry or overstep. And you were grateful for that. It was one thing to own up that your PTSD stemmed from an incident that ended your military career. It was also one thing to own up to how your experience in the military drove you towards creating prosthetic limbs. But to admit that there was a deep personal connection between the two? That wasn’t something you liked to fess up to. “I’m sorry,” Bucky finally said, feeling the need to say something about your half confession. To acknowledge it without asking more.

You smiled wryly at him. “It’s f-” Your face twisted, and your fingers white-knuckled the table as pain flashed through your leg.

Bucky’s eyes went wide. “You okay?” he asked, moving around the table towards you, his hands hovering nearby in case you fell.

“Knife!” you gasped out, gritting your teeth and humming loudly to keep from screaming out in the pain you knew wasn’t real. “Get me a knife!”

Bucky stood there, frozen, staring at you in horror.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” you barked at him. “I know you have a knife on you! Give it to me! That’s an order, Sergeant!”

That snapped Bucky into action. “Yeah, yeah,” he said, rummaging in his pockets. “Here!”

The sharp steel glinted in the lights as you took it from him and promptly shoved it deep into your right shin.

“What the fuck?!” Bucky yelped, jumping back. “WHAT THE FUCK?!” he repeated when no blood came pouring out of the wound as you yanked the knife back out.

“Aaaahhhh,” you sighed in relief, the pain ebbing away. You relaxed the tension in your body, breathing slowly. “Fuck… hate when that happens.”

“What… the… actual… fuck?” Bucky asked for a third time in a low whisper.

“Relax, it’s fake,” you said, flashing the knife. “See? No blood.”

“I- I-” he stammered.

“It’s called phantom limb pain. Happens in amputees all the time.” You took a seat, pushing up your pant leg to your knee, detaching the prosthetic and tossing it uselessly onto the work table. “Piece of shit,” you muttered, before pulling a tape-recorder out of your pocket. “Prototype 27. Failure, as of,” you spared a glance down at the date on your watch, speaking that into the tape recorder as well. “What?” you asked Bucky who was staring at you with his mouth hanging open.

“That explains… so much. But… why didn’t you just tell me?”

You shrugged. “It’s not something I tell people. Lost my leg in an explosion caused by weapons my family made? Yeah, not exactly a conversation starter.”

“I get that, but… c’mon. It’s me.” He gestured at his left arm.

“Yes, you who- and please don’t take offense to this- doesn’t remember the trauma of losing his arm, and has never experienced the pain that is phantom limb pain.”

“I don’t remember the trauma thanks to years of more trauma that is being brain-washed, and having my mind controlled,” he replied in a clipped tone.

“Yes, the entire world is aware of your trauma, Barnes. Must be nice to have people be aware of what you’ve gone through.”

“People would be aware of what you’ve gone through too, if you’d tell us instead of hiding in jeans and sweatpants!”

“Why would I tell people?! For sympathy?! Or to hear them tell me that I deserved it?! Because news flash, both of those outcomes fucking suck!”

His face crumpled. “Why would anyone think you deserved this?”

You scoffed at his naivety. “It’s poetic justice, Bucky. My own family took my leg. They took Tony’s heart, too, but hey! Look what he made as a result! Isn’t it fuckin’ marvelous?! Tony Stark loses his heart, but gains a soul. Y/N Stark. Loses his leg, and nobody cares.” The words were bitter on your tongue.

“You don’t strike me as the pity party type.”

“I’m not. That’s why I don’t tell people. And yes, maybe there’s a selfish part of me that does what I do strictly for me. Maybe I never would have thought to do all this if I wasn’t an amputee myself. But I’m here, and I’m doing it. And I’m not going to use my story to gain attention and credit that I don’t even want in the first place. Tony thrives in the spotlight. Me? Never been my thing.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, I think your project’s pretty great. And I don’t see your personal attachment to it as a hindrance. If anything, I bet it pushes you further. To keep trying, even when what you have is already worlds better than what’s available already. But I also get wanting to keep parts of you to yourself. The sympathy vote isn’t the best feeling.”

“Thank you,” you mumbled. “And I’m sorry for what I said about how it must be nice to have people aware of your trauma. Well… I’m sorry for how I said it. There’s quite a laundry list of things that will turn me into an asshole, and phantom limb pain ranks pretty high on that list. But I didn’t mean it as an attack, and if it came across that way, I do apologize.”

“Don’t worry about it. To an extent you’re right. The whole world knowing what happened to me… it dulls the shock value of a lot of things. Justifies a lot of my actions. So, for the most part, it’s incredibly beneficial. But sometimes I wish I could just… I dunno. Be Bucky without people making their assumptions about what that means.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, I try to make it a habit of drawing my own conclusions about people rather than listening to the assumptions others have made about them. So, at least with me, you can be Bucky, and that can be however you want it to look.”

“Thanks. I’d uh… I’d like that.” He smiled softly at you, and you smiled back, watching as a blush crept over his face. “Um… Are you going to need help back to your room? Cuz I can help, if you need me to.” The blush grew darker as he shifted his eyes about the room.

“Uh…” you stammered, a blush coming to your own face. Normally when you tossed aside a rejected prosthetic, you either stayed in the lab until you made a new one, reattached the useless one and begrudgingly dealt with it until you felt up to making a new one, or, in super rare cases when you were sure you were alone, wheeled yourself about the headquarters in a chair. But, here was Bucky, offering to help hobble you off to your room. And the thought of him helping support your weight, or God forbid carry you was enough to make your heart sped up. “Even without the weight of a leg, I’m still not exactly light, or small,” you told him. You weren’t as tall as Bucky, that was true, and you certainly didn’t have super soldier serum running through your veins. But you were still very much the standard rugged American soldier type with broad shoulders and well-defined muscles of your own.

Bucky just scoffed at the notion before picking you up in his arms.

“Jesus, fuck!” you exclaimed, throwing an arm around his neck to help support your weight as he headed for the door of the lab. “I swear if you drop me…”

Bucky chuckled, his chest rumbling into your side. “Relax. I’m not gonna drop you. Now, tell me where I’m going.”

You rattled off the quickest route to your room, both hating the vulnerability of being carried in his arms, and loving the security of it.

“See?” he beamed proudly, as he set you on your bed. “Told ya I wouldn’t drop you.”

“Thanks…”

“Anytime.”

“Bucky, wait,” you called out when he turned to leave. “Um… Would you mind maybe staying?”

“Here? With you? In your room?”

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, yeah, the 1940s gentleman thing is real charming.”

“No, it’s not that. It’s um… You know I’m gay, right?”

“Well… That makes the, uh… oh, I can’t believe I’m gonna say this, but that makes having a crush on you a lot easier. Or a lot worse, depending on how things go.”

He blinked at you in confusion, not sure if he was hearing you correctly.

“I like you, Bucky. So are you gonna stay?”

He grinned, happily walking back over to you. “I like you too. And yeah, I’ll stay.”

__

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[obutsuwrites]

needy (brother!dabi x f!reader)

summary: Turquoise eyes bore down into you. "Put them down my pants." Chapped lips curled into an impish grin. Lopsided and showing a sliver of teeth. His pink tongue poked out, as if to imply it were a joke. xxx i did little editing n wrote this on my phone oops warnings: ball worship/play (maybe??), cum, handjob, incest, licking, smut, spit word count: 2,086 masterlist | tipjar | twitter | commission info | ask box is open taglist: @shigatomu @sadjealouswhore @tenaciousgothstudentauthor @kaccatus @proxy9301 @yanderewoods @the-originals-lover 

The sky was void of stars. A black canvas you stared into, body shivering. Touya -- like any good older brother -- sat next to you. His leg was rubbing against yours. He felt incredibly warm despite the chill. You stared into your open palms. It was your fault Touya was stuck out here… with you. He was just being a good brother. He insisted. Wanting nothing more than comfort, you greedily complied. You hated these fights. Shouting matches between your parents seemed punctual during the holidays. Your father blamed the stress, your mother blamed him. You? You blamed their cursed union. 

Your heart hurt at the thought of it; love that meant nothing. Touya tried to be reassuring. He claimed your folks still loved each other, it just wasn't the same as yours. Touya's love was extra special. Something so precious no one replicate it. You liked to think he had your best interests at heart, despite his rough exterior. 

Touya smelled like cigarettes and obnoxious deodorant. You knew the strong scent was meant to hide his habits. Mother and father didn't know he smoked. Touya told you simply, "It's our little secret. Isn't it meant to be special?" You didn't know; secrets felt wrong to keep, but Touya only wanted the best for you. He told you all the time. You were his sweet little sister. His keeper. Being so close to him made your heart swell. Touya was nurturing towards you, if not babying you at times. 

There is a comfortable silence between the two of you as Touya huffs down his cigarette. 

"I'm sorry," you mumbled, still staring into your hands. You felt useless like this. Touya had to be hurting, too. He just hid the ache for your sake. It was selfish. You looked up at Touya. His chiseled features were blessed even under streetlights. Sharp jawline, piercing eyes. A man far more handsome than any other. You wondered if wanting to kiss him was normal. Just a peck on the cheek; like when you were kids. He'd pepper you in sloppy kisses, cheeks stuffed with gushers. The sensation was obnoxious. His sugary drool mixed with the kisses, and dribbled down your face. Touya would point and claim you were dirty now -- so as any good brother-- you were treated to a hot bath. 

Touya pulled you back into the wintery night, a lazy arm draped over your shoulders. "Don't worry about it, little sis. You're my favorite, ya know that, right?" Compliments from Touya weren't rare. His raspy voice brimmed with praise. Passing comments that cemented 1themselves in your mind -- like a root. You wanted nothing but make him proud. And yet, you let him down by being such a baby. The shouting had again forced you outside. Neither of you were dressed for such chilly misery. Touya clad in flannel pajama pants, torn hoodie. Black boots beat all to hell. His only complete jacket was draped over you. He didn't want you to catch a cold. 

You flash him a smile, "You're my favorite, Touya. I love you!" You buried your face in his chest. Tiny arms wrapped around his lean frame. Despite his height, Touya was a teddy bear; always seeking your comfort. His displays were cute, but you sometimes wondered if they meant more. If he wanted you closer. You waved away the perversion, opting to take a sniff of Touya. 

Harsh cigarettes and minty aftershave. A smell that reminded you of headpats and random touches. Touya couldn't seem to keep his hands to himself. He needed to touch some part of you, always. You didn't know anything else. If anything, his calloused hands felt like home. Secure. 

"Like the smell?" Touya laughed. His chest vibrated against your head. A roar. The sensation was familiar. Touya's laugh was rhythmic. Something buried within it was almost hypnotizing. You could listen forever. His joy was practically infectious. 

Your voice came out muffled, "Touya… you smell good." A lazy haze was in your voice. Being so close to Touya was intoxicating. Your older brother in your future was inevitable. An ending you looked forward to. Anticipated. His body was warm; your heater in the chill. Touya's lean muscles relaxed into you. He was enamored with the affection. Blind devotion to older brother Touya… Kinda hot. 

He flinched at the thought and shrunk in your hold. Was it… These were fantasies? Visuals that haunted him during cuddle sessions and sleepovers. Any skin to skin. No matter how insignificant. He ached for you. Flashes of you naked, asking big brother Touya to cum in your cunt. Fill you up until you couldn't take anymore. Your face red and feverish underneath him. 

You returned the perceived attention, and nuzzled into your favorite big brother. 

"My hands are cold," you remarked. The very tip of your fingers dared to poke out, pricking the cold. The flesh was starting to ache. Your blood was so frigid it hurt. A river in the dead of winter. Barren. More ice than water. 

Admiring eyes looked up at Touya. Intense and starry. Touya compared your eyes to a nebula; infinite and overflowing with sparkles. There was something electric in your eyes. Something Touya couldn't ignore. He tried to, like any good brother, you didn't believe in no. You hunted him down until you became attached to his hip. Your body was too much; your space was his space now. Touya once read it was trauma bonding -- survival for both of them. But Touya liked to think you liked him despite it. He'd envision you dating him. He was convinced you would if you weren't related, why else can he touch you? Some naughty piece of you was a degenerate… just like him. 

Turquoise eyes bore down into you. "Put them down my pants." Chapped lips curled into an impish grin. Lopsided and showing a sliver of teeth. His pink tongue poked out, as if to imply it were a joke. But under the luminance of amber, Touya’s lean body was hard to ignore. Every breath came out with a shiver; muscles relaxed and contracted again under his tattered hoodie. He acted like the cold was a joke. Touya wanted to be the big brother you depended on -- your first. 

Wide, innocent eyes looked up at him, your mouth slightly agape. You took his words at face value; Touya wouldn’t do anything wrong. Why would he? He was always protective, always looking out for you… always the one to sit outside with you, no matter how miserable the weather. Neither could you deny your curiosity. ‘Being that close with Touya…’

Your fingers lingered on the hem of pants. The material was plush. You hoped his thighs were as soft. Pillowy and welcoming and warm. He felt like home… He was home. Touya brought you comfort, security, and a certain joy you didn’t find with anyone else. Not even friends. 

Your breath came out hot and ghosted over his neck, “Okay, Touya.” His name played on your vocal cords in a melody. It was a sound he wanted to hear forever. Courage was in your heart as a hand snaked under Touya’s pants. Only one, a test. You desired this closeness with him -- chest aching and pulse racing. Yet the act itself still carried an air of taboo. Neurons in the back of your skull fired off with judgement. You blissfully shoved away the thoughts and shoved another hand down his pants. His thighs were sturdy. Athletic. Blood slowly began to trickle back into numb fingertips. The familiar sensation of a sore heat. 

Silence again fell. Touya stared off into the distance. An attempt to ignore how delicate your hands were. How good your hands would feel wrapped around him..

Touya adjusts himself. Your hands follow suit and rested ever closer to his crotch. You saw he wore plain black boxers. Thin material that forced you to hyperfocus on his bare thighs. Touya had noticed the crimson that flooded your cheeks. Like any good brother, he decided to catalog the memory. It was only fair to tease you later.

“Thanks, Touya.” 

He makes a mistake and looks down. Your eyes are so big, so wanting. Touya can’t help himself.

Calloused hands eclipse yours. Touya is as cold as the wintery night. Frigid. Icy. He’s gentle and guides your hand to his bulge. You can feel the outline of his veins. His member is thick. Touya rubs your hands against it; a twitch shoots through his cock. 

“You wanna touch it, little sis?” His eyes are bright in the night. Azul gems that twinkled and burned. His voice is gruff. Words laced with lust. The sound is unfamiliar, but you recognize the heaviness to it. 

Tiny, curious hands sneak into Touya’s boxers. You try to learn his body; fingers grasping for any contact. Your fingers trace his veins, until interest bears too much, and you give a careful stroke. Touya shutters in response, “D-don’t stop.” He whimpers, something unheard of for your capable older brother. Touya sounds so vulnerable. A spark ignites in your stomach. 

His hands grip wiry thighs as you gingerly work his cock. Touya tries to steady himself. Years were spent and counted with hope. Fantasies of your hands trailing down his body. Inexperienced fingers dwarfed by his cock. His day dreams usually involved you complimenting him -- insisting he was your favorite brother. Your favorite. 

"Touya, can I see it?" You couldn't have asked anymore innocently. Your voice carried a quiet squeak to it. It was a familiar warmth. Embarrassment. You hadn't touched anyone like this before. Truthfully, Touya was the only person you wanted to touch. He carried comfort. Some concrete sense of home. Blood had returned to your fingers, the ache now gone. 

Touya nods, black hair showing roots. He fit a redhead just as well, but the rugged man preferred sticking out. He wanted you to remember him. Touya craved to be your only thought. Your only desire. He noticed how loyal you were -- keeping little secrets and lying for him. Touya heard it once, but you told a lie for him. "No, Dad. The neighbor's were outside smoking. Touya sat with me again." 

His keeper. 

Innocent eyes widen; Touya's cock is unlike anything you've imagined seen. His cock was lengthy, veins thick and pulsing. Under yellow light and a starless sky, his head twitched. The sterling metal caught your eye. 

"Touya..?" 

Before you can make your sentence tangible, Touya glides your hand over his exposed cockhead, "Please." His eyes burn with need. Sweat glistens his cheeks. Touya looks at you like you're the moon; luminous and shining for him. You feel like his world in this moment as your fragile thumb strokes Touya's sensitive head. He squirms under you and occasionally pants a little too loud. Drool collects at the corner of his grin. 

The sight of Touya inspires you. One hand wrapped around his length, pumping him, and the other works his now slick head. Pre-cum leaks down his cock and provides ample glide. A furnace begins in Touya's stomach -- the familiar sensation of an orgasm. 

"St-stop, baby." The term makes your eyes glow, "Play with my balls." Roughly, he shoves your moist hand onto his balls. Intrigued, you give them an experimental kneed. In response, Touya grinds into you and coaxes out a shiver. Gently, you worked his balls. Massaging and caressing. Working his needy flesh. 

Suddenly, Touya's nicotine breath is obvious in your face. Blue eyes drink you in before a pink tongue laps at your cheek. Touya is relentless. He slobbers you like a dog -- no regard for his spit nor your comfort. Saliva trails down your chin. You close an eye and continue to pump him. His tongue is squishy, hot, and wet on your cheek. The humidity of his breath contributes to your rosy gleam; cheeks red and moist. His need physically manifests. Greedy, narrow hips thrust into your palm. Hungry for contact. 

"Don't stop. G-gonna cu-cum," his words fall out tangled and breathless. Being a good little sister, you quicken your pace. His cock pulses and a deep groan rumbles from his chest, the vibration heavy against you. Cum spurts from his pierced slit and onto your fingers. Syrupy and thick. It coats your hand and feels almost too warm.

You sit in silence while Touya tries to regulate his breathing. His calloused thumb rubs your heated cheeks. Flushed and wanting to please. 

"You need a bath, little sister."

[bakugohoex]

todoroki and reader bonding over ✨trauma ✨

”i want to talk about it now”

pairing: shoto todoroki x female reader

cw: trauma (absent father, domestic violence and todoroki’s shit upbringing) and angst

word count: 1000+

a/n: i dont even know how to explain this, it literally is just talking about trauma and like i’ll make sure to add what the trauma is in the cw

summary:  in which at the sports festival, you finally talk to the boy in your class who seemed to always keep to himself, you both unveil your own trauma that you went through

↞ back to my hero academia masterlist

Radio fucking silence between you two.

Literally you both have never spoken inyour entire your lives, even after these months of knowing him.

It was just blank stares; it didn’t help that you two were never even partnered up.

The boy seemed interested in you and your quirk but had never gotten to ask you about it.

Because it’d be so fucking awkward.

You were either too talkative or too quiet and he never knew the best moment to talk to you. 

You were intrigued with his father being Endevour having heard all the well horrific stories.

Both getting the chance to finally talk to one another after his fight with Bakugo.

Poor baby, the medal around his neck indicating second place, he didn’t know how to feel about the events with Bakugo.

His family coming up in his memories.

That’s where you came in, being the amazing girl you were you stopped him to talk.

You knew the signs he had been displaying whilst in the fight and needed to talk to him about it. 

“Todoroki, wait.” You had been out of breath running to where the contestants were coming out of.

“Oh, hi Y/n.” He didn’t know what else to say, his eyes were tired, and he kept going over the thoughts of his father.

You caught your breath, giving a small smile to the boy, “you did really well out there.”

“Thank you.” He was about to walk away before you grabbed his wrist, holding him in place.

“Can we talk, privately?” He tilted his head in confusion but nodded making you follow him to where the waiting room had been.

You sat in front of him, you looked at his confused face before speaking, “are you…okay?” It wasn’t how you had meant to start the conversation off, but it’s how it began.

“I’m fine, are you okay?” He spoke with the same uncertainty you had.

“I’m going to be straight with you.” You paused before taking a sharp breath, “why didn’t you fight with your dad’s side of your quirk?”

“Y/n, I don’t owe you an explina…”

Interrupting him your grabbed his hands that had been fidgeting on the table, he saw your movement making his trail off. Staring at your hands against his, “I know why, I’ve been in your position and I just want to say that if you ever want to talk about that kind of stuff I’m here. I saw the way you looked, the hatred you had for that side of your quirk and I understood it in an instant.”

“Y/n…” He didn’t know what to say, he had only known you as the confident yet reclusive girl, your past hadn’t been exposed to anybody. But he had always thought your life was boring and uneventful and that was why you never brought it up.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said all of that.” You let go of his hands ready to walk away from the situation, he notices the rip in the side of your shirt that he hadn’t seen before.

“Did you get that from the fight?” Nodding seeing the gash across your side you touched it making it disappear.

“If you hadn’t had had Tokoyami your first round you probably would’ve won.” He confessed being aware of your quirk, it was true, however.

Dark shadow wasn’t real, and you weren’t able to touch it allowing your quirk to not activate, the shadow having protected Tokoyami, you had lost when you had been pushed back by your side. If you had just touched the boy than you could’ve broken his bones but here you were defeat.

“I guess.” It was a mutter, and you were ready to leave again.

“Wait.” Todoroki called standing up, his arm out to stop you, you had turned to face him again, his hand just touching your own arm. “I want to talk about it now.”

He had spoken clearly but still seemed reclusive but you knew that the issues that both of you had regarded your parents was iffy. You nodded, moving back to the table and he began to explain everything that had occurred to him from the scar on his face to the death of his older brother. It had all come out in an instant and you had moved to sit beside him, holding onto his shoulder and bringing him closer.

“I’m sorry that happened to you, Todoroki.” It was a whisper as your hand had started to move through his hair.

It felt like comfort and you began your own story, the torture of your absent father and overworked mother. The way he would come in and out of your life making you trust him each time, saying it’d be better this time and then leaving without a word. The violence between your parents, the sobs of your mother, it had all come out and this time Todoroki was comforting you. Wiping the stray tears and holding you tighter, it was practically a comfort session where you confessed how you thought getting into UA would make him stay but he had left as soon as he came.

The boy of you stayed in each other’s arms in comfort, it was new to finally have it all out. The way his eyes and face had looked fighting Bakugo, it was face you had seen on yourself and you could see the hesitance in using his quirk. Even you had hesitated using your quirk, your healing ability from your mother and ability to break bones and organs from your father. It was how you knew the hatred he felt for the fire quirk, you had hated your fathers quirk for so long but had grown to see use from it.

Todoroki looked softly at you, even with this being your first proper one to one talk, he had confessed so much to the girl he had been intrigued by. He had thought so highly of you, how you probably lived an amazing life with how you smiled every morning, he had imagined your parents happily eating breakfast with you. But here you were in his arms hurt and alone and all he knew now was that he would protect you from them, protect you from ever getting hurt again. 

i’d really appreciate if you guys could leave a like, reblog or comment, thanks x

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[gwyns]

what would be your ideal elucien arc in canon?

this is a very good question and one i'll probably ramble with so sorry lmao i actually thought about an elucien plot a lot years ago. i had quite a few ideas and was trying to plot my own multi-chapter fic around them but well..... that didn't work out and this ended up getting really long, so i apologize for that lol

so here's the overall gist of what would've/what i would like to eventually happen one day. elain had a vision of lucien being harmed or something along those lines and her instinct had her finding him. whether this was through her learning she could winnow or some other means, i hadn't decided but eventually she'd show up and lucien would be so dumbfounded and question her reason for being there and ask if feyre knew she was here and elain would get defensive like "i didn't realize she was my keeper." and this is the first time lucien has truly seen her bite, her little bit of fire, so he's taken aback a bit but quickly reassures her she needs no keeper and he hadn't meant offense.

she gives an excuse about how she wants to see prythian and that nobody would show her so she decided to show herself, bc she doesn't want to admit she cares for him, even a fraction bc it might give him hope that she ultimately would have to crush. and it's not entirely a lie, she would like to travel and see the world, but it's not the whole truth either.

so moving on they'd partner up and he'd bring elain along on whatever adventures he's getting up to, they'd meet up with jurian and vassa of course and i have this headcanon that she and vassa would be the perfect friends. vassa is human so she'd offer elain something familiar you know? and vassa is also the type to stand her ground and she has a fire of her own so i feel like she'd help elain grow into herself and be more assertive and stroke the fire within elain some. as for elain and jurian.... it's awkward at first bc jurian is partially responsible for elain's turn (at least in her head) and he was there when graysen rejected her and so she overall has had bad experiences when he's around so she doesn't know what to make of him.

over time she comes to find that jurian isn't as intimidating as he first lets on. he's quite considerate and good at reading people, and he knows to some extent what she's gone through (as does vassa), he was tortured and killed by amarantha then bound to her jewelry for 500 years. he understands the feeling of violation and having a fae treat you as some toy and little more, and he apologizes for his part in her trauma. after this, i can see him becoming something of a big brother type to elain, they have a relationship few would understand but they listen to each other's troubles and just get it you know?

anyway, back to her and lucien. i can see them both being kind of reluctant in the beginning? elain bc she doesn't want to give him any ideas and lucien doesn't know want to pressure her so he keeps his distance but as they're working together, with the spring court, koschei, her learning more about her abilities, etc they both start to see how capable they each are and their feelings start to show here. for lucien it's more natural, like he always had a feeling that if he spent enough time with elain he could fall in love with her but with elain? she's freaked out. she doesn't want this, she wants her ability to choose. and maybe it's just the mating bond reacting for her or at least this is what she tells herself to explain away the butterflies she gets whenever lucien smiles at something she said.

at some point they have to travel to the autumn court and lucien is terrified, he doesn't want her anywhere near his family but elain asserts herself and says she's coming whether he likes it or not. he, of course, doesn't object. he just pleads with her to stay close to him the entire time. during their visit(s) they meet with eris and lucien's mother and you don't understand how badly i want elain and his mother to have a good relationship. her own mother only saw her as beautiful and something to capture a titled man to advance their status, she didn't truly see elain either. lady vanserra would be the kind and caring mother she never had and then being close would allow elain to learn more about lucien without asking him directly.

and her and eris? he'd take on the protective older brother role for elain, he would make sure no one even breathed near her unless she wished it so. maybe he'd introduce her to his dogs or something, too.

i can't get into specifics of what would really happen during these visits bc my brain sucks but overall it'd allow elain to learn more of lucien's upbringing and begin to understand him and in turn lucien would learn more about elain's childhood when she'd discuss her mother with lady vanserra.

maybe after this they visit the day court or something so they can view helion's massive library and try to learn more of koschei and elain's powers. they'd bond while studying, it'd start as courteous conversation but it'd soon develop into more intimate questions. maybe she asks about jesminda, who she'd learned some about from feyre and some from the servants in the autumn court, he'd answer her questions but never offer anything more than what he had to. she can tell her death still weighs heavily on him. this is when she really starts paying attention to what exactly she feels through the mate bond, tremendous guilt and, as feyre once described, he's endlessly sad.

this is where things get kinda fuzzy for me bc i never knew how this story would end, like i knew the koschei conflict would be the finale but other than that? nothing lmao but basically i could see elain and lucien growing together very slowly. they start getting comfortable with the faint touches and lingering glances they give each other. it eventually leads to a dark night in the camp and elain can't sleep so she gets up to take a walk but her feet just lead her to wherever lucien is and she sees him without his shirt on, his back is turned to her and she sees the massive scars across his back and can't stop the soft gasp that escapes.

lucien whirls around but elain can't get the image out of her head... who would have been so cruel as to cause those marks? who would dare to touch her mate like that? she knows she should be more worried about how possessive the mate bond makes her, but in this moment it doesn't matter, what matters is who hurt him. and she asks as much, "it's nothing, elain" is his response but she doesn't let up, she steps closer to him and motions for him to turn around, which he does. she hesitantly runs her fingers across his scars, she can feel her rage building, no matter how irrational it is she wants whoever did this dead. she blinks at that thought, but she's not scared no, she wants whoever caused him pain to suffer.

he tells her not to worry and that it's already been taken care of and she reluctantly leaves him to go back to her own tent (or wherever they're sleeping) and tries to sleep but everytime she closes her eyes the image of his scars, how he might have received them, flashes in her mind. then she starts to wonder who gave him the scar on his face, she wonders how she might find out and how she might get the means to return the favor.

also maybe at some point later in the story, they visit the autumn court again, i have a headcanon that elain doesn't only see the future, she can see the past in some cases so maybe she starts seeing this couple in a.... very intimate setting. and she works out the female is lucien's mother, but the male she's with is definitely not beron. this could prompt the helion reveal but honestly idk how that'd all go down.

i really can't tell you how this would all wrap up bc i am so bad at plotting but eventually they meet koschei, they defeat him and there's a scene where they embrace and the confessions come, it starts with lucien,

"i love you. so much. and i choose you. i'd choose you in a hundred–in a thousand different lifetimes."

"do you mean that?"

"i've never meant anything more."

elain brings her hands to his face, caressing his cheeks, then she moves to trace the scar on his face.

she finally says, "i choose you, too, lucien. i love you. now, kiss me... please."

they have the kiss we've all waited 5 books for. she accepts the bond and we all live happily ever after.

[avenger-hawk]

Why do you like Kakasasu?

I waited to reply to this because I wanted to be sure it wasn’t a troll and it wasn’t a drama starting attempt (like this or this, gems found in the sasuke/KS tag) since it’s a subject I am very interested in.

I replied to Kakashi/Sasuke related asks, shippy or not shippy, here, here and here. More about them here, here and here. Put yourself comfortable cause this is gonna be long. Not putting it under a readmore cause I remember ppl complaining they coulnd’t open it on mobile phones (?). Also, moralists who are lurking: don’t interact, get out of my blog. Youll be blocked on sight.

When I started reading N*ruto I was into Bleach a lot, and the fact that the characters were a little older and looked older made me not get into Nar that much at first, because they looked like kiddies lol. I didn’t care about Nar as a character and his initial rivalry with Sas was cute but not enough to get me interested. Only when Kakashi got closer to Sasuke I started being veery interested in the story and in the characters. What I found intriguing was that Kakashi was older and an authority figure, but also someone to look up and who helped his students, BUT at the same time he wasn’t exactly a father-like figure or a big brother-like figure, because he had his dark side, that back then wasn’t well flashed out but that nevertheless showed a closed-off person who kept everything inside, not letting others get too close to him.

(then I started liking N*rusasu mostly because there were so many cool doujinshi especially Emi10/Rankai and Engawaken, while KS doujinshi were so meh, kinda in old yaoi style like Loveless, with tiny Sas who looked even younger hahaha, not my thing)

As those who know my blog and/or my writing know already, I am not interested in healthy, cute, positive dynamics in fiction. I might enjoy them, I might be happy when there are such moments, but I can’t like a whole relationship/dynamic/story only like this because I like to explore complicated ones in fiction.Because fiction is very useful for this, it makes you explore dark, taboo things, without affecting reality (no matter what idiots say), it’s cathartic, it’s a way to do, see, experience things without doing anything.

Back to topic tho, I found their initial dynamic very intriguing. A broken, traumatized yet extremely driven Sasuke, acting as confident and strong as he can, but showing his trauma in various occasions, otherwise being mostly aloof, lost in his own thoughts, and a differently broken Kakashi, acting chill but at the same time always ready to act when needed, yet always kinda distracted, aloof, lost in his owh thoughts (and later we’ll know he took Obito’s mannerisms because he was a stickler to rules). The way Kakashi takes a special interest for Sasuke, clearly the most driven, the best of the team, with whom he holds back much less (when he trains them, like when in the beginning, during the bell test, he fights with Sas and seeing that he almost took it, he overpowers him) while he is different with the others (Nar will have Jiraiya later). The way he protects Sasuke during the chuunin exams, while he’s in the hospital and Kabuto is trying to kill him.

Mostly, the controversial moments...like I said I live for these kind of things. where he both protects and threatens him...like when he does that seal to Sasuke, for his curse mark, and he tells him that if that curse mark takes over he’ll kill him. Or when he ties Sasuke up so he won’t join Orochimaru.

Before someone says bs like *you’re not Sas fan if you like that scene* (I know there are many like this and I want all of them out of my blog btw) uh, it’s not how it works guys. You can support a character and still be intrigued by scenes where said character is tied up/in a forcibly submitted position and so on. Guess what, some of those scenes are made for fanservice even (and Sas has many of these, so if you don’t see the appeal/refuse to admit that there is appeal, it’s you who have a problem). So even tho I disagree with Kakashi not wanting to listen to Sasuke’s reasons for revenge (and later supporting SHikamaru’s, I replied to this in one of the asks I linked) I do find that scene interesting...I mean Sasuke tied up in a very suggestive way and yet defying him and threatening to kill his loved ones and Kakashi opening up in a very weird way vaguely replying that he lost those ppl already? It shows a lot about them, their personalities, everything.

I am sticking to part 1 because there are more meaningful interactions between them, I wished there were more in part 2 but kishi shifted Kakashi’s ‘interest’ to Nar, making him one of Nar’s followers...even so, the intractions they had were very interesting. Their fight after Sasuke fights Danzo is one of my fave moments in the whole story tbh, much more than the later confrontation with Nar. Kakashi for the first time has an inner only, yet strong, emotional reaction, having to fight and supposedly kill his former student who became a rogue with a death sentence on his head...he realizes this is how Hiruzen felt against Orochimaru. It’s a strong realization from someone like him who was always so closed off and aloof that he totally lacked empathy.

On the other hand Sasuke is in a different mindset. He’s sort of high for having succeeded in eliminating the one who made Itachi suffer so much, he’s thinking about killing the elders and destroy the village, so he’s basically lost in the recent past of Danzo’s death and in the future plans he’s making, he’s not in the present moment almost...but he has to fight anyway, and it’s a cool fight, also because he’s weakened already and Kakashi is strong...and then he gets blind, totally, and it’s an amazingly intriguing moment, the kind of controversial stuff I’m interested in, because that’s when he could be totally overpowered by Kakashi, if the story didn’t have other priorities (putting Nar in the center of attention with their confrontation).

Their later moments, like during the war, are meh cause the interest shifted already completely, but their moments in jail (anime only ofc) and their Shinden interactions (only through messages) are interesting to me. Very much so, because they show power dynamics very well, with Kakashi as THE authority and Sasuke as the one submitted. In jail it’s even more evident with him looking down at the younger tied up and blindfolded...like, wow. It’s like fanfiction material (in fact I wrote one (ff.net/a03) and there was the coolest fanart inspired by it! here..there were more but this came on my dash today so).

You mentioned power dynamics...their dynamics are all power dynamics because Kakashi was never at Sasuke’s same level and he never acted like he was, and when Sasuke was stronger, during the war, they basically didn’t interact, and when the war was over and Sasuke was brainwashed and tamed into submission the power dynamic remained the same.

The difference imo between them and other power dynamics based pairings is that they are closer than what could be defined rare pairings such as Obito (they had a very interesting one tho, if only it was developed), Madara (the story was already developed in a pro Konoha-anti Uchiha way but it would have been so cool to have the 2 Uchiha interact more), or other older and stronger characters, so the dynamic could be written in a cool way in a fanfiction but in canon Kakashi created it already. So, while I can imagine something like Shisui/Sasuke, Obisasu or more, in my head, and I can come up with some AU or canon divergent/canon behind the screen (like when Sas stayed with Obito after the transplant), Kakashi and Sasuke had canon interactions that showed power dynamics already.

(Then there is Itasasu, which is a huge power dynamic based relationship, that also had amazingly strong feelings though, and those who know me know that for me Itachi will always be Sasuke’s most loved person, and that he was the same for Itachi. So ofc imo IS is a much stronger bond compared to KS but still. Also I remember in the beginning how many fics I read where Itachi was abusive to Sas and Kakashi stepped in lol. And it’s not a mystery that even though I think the IS bond is the strongest I find other pairings and character dynamics very interesting, so much that I like to explore them even more than IS, which, imo, is almost a given fact so I don’t always feel the need to explore it)

Another thing I find intriguing is that Kakashi always saw Sas at his ‘worst’...in Konoha’s terms I mean. When he wanted revenge in pt 1, after he killed Danzo and he was weak and so desperate and hysterical that they thought he got crazy, when he was jailed. It’s a big power he has, to be able to see someone like this.

Tbh it’s a pity that there were no post war moments (B*ruto shit doesn’t count) where they interact ‘normally’ cause I would have liked to see them, both as normal interactions where they get closer again, now that Sas is older, where they train and they get physical (and Kakashi has a lot of repressed anger, jealousy and possessiveness to let out on the one who betrayed his sensei and went to another...not my opinion but it could be Kakashi’s pov) because I think power dynamic would come up a lot, even from apparently cute moments.

I’ll end this super long essay hoping that you didn’t fall asleep lol, and adding that Kakasasu was the first Nar pairing I shipped, which it speaks a lot about why I get so irritated when someone mentions it negatively.