#let me put the adhd aside for a moment

[opikiquu]

oh i forgot about these

[comicaurora]

I've started making my way through the playlist hbomberguy made of actually good video essays by queer creators and spotted a comment of yours on the one about the relationship between Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, which was fun xD red in the wild!

Anyways, just wanted to appreciate how both you and Blue and you are very good at showing your sources! It's always nice to know that the people you've watched for years have good habits after an event like this, and I hope you guys are among the people that get some new fans after this whole debacle, because your channel definitely qualifies for "good educational videos made by queer people"

I'm glad! Blue's much better about listing his sources and follow-up reading than I am.

To be honest, I loved the video, but my imposter syndrome always flares like crazy when I watch an essay like that. It might be the ADHD or it might just be who I am as a person, but I feel like I've lived my whole life striving to make everything I do the best it can be, and still managing to fuck up and get criticised for things I could've done better if only I never missed anything. It's an actual gut-drop when it turns out a source I used wasn't trustworthy, or when in older videos I only went wiki-deep for some claims and didn't check every source to be 100% sure I wasn't being goat-fish'd. And this being the internet, I can get criticized at any time for things I've gotten wrong years ago, since it's evergreen online and to the new-viewing critic it's as fresh as yesterday. It makes it hard for me to stay proud of my work past the first moment of "oh I would've done that different now". There's a cocktail of complicated, scary feelings around this space, no matter how little I actually have in common with the bad guys of this scenario - it's less about the reality and more about who my imposter syndrome tells me I am. I saw several people saying that the video actually made them feel much better about their own work because it made it clear that accidental plagiarism on that scale is impossible, but if my anxieties listened to reason I would've successfully machete'd them out of my skull years ago. I just hope I never fuck up badly enough to deserve an hbombing of my own.

But my own stress aside, the hbomb essay exposed a level of laxness, laziness and entitlement on the part of these plagiarists that I think is almost incomprehensible to people who actually create for a living or even just the joy of it. How hollow do you have to be to take in someone else's writing and not consider it, digest it, let it reshape your views and then formulate your own interpretation on it, but instead to file off the serial numbers and pretend it's yours, trusting that the person whose thoughts and words you valued enough to steal will never be powerful enough to call you out on it? I go down research rabbit holes because I love the frustration and thrill of putting something together! How joyless it must be to skim the surface and borrow someone else's conclusions!

I've sometimes had people email asking for sources on parts of my interpretation of various myths, possibly in the interest of source-citing for school papers (a nightmare concept in and of itself) and with very few exceptions I usually have to tell them "the only sources were the english translations I used of the primary source where the myth was originally written, like I said in the video, and the part where I said I was conspiracy-boarding has no source other than my own analysis of the given source, which is why I called it conspiracy-boarding" and I was always a little baffled by those emails - half the videos are introduced like "this is The Prose Edda" or "this is in Ovid's Metamorphoses" or "this bit is Hesiod" so what else could they want - but seeing the hbomb of the week made me realize that truly original analysis might not be what most people are expecting from a "thing summarized." They might be expecting a compilation of other people's summaries instead.

[rqbossman]

Hello Mr Bossman! (and possibly anyone else who reads this)

Its an honour to be here, I have a few questions. First i appologise for the long paragraph, you may dismiss it for the questions at the bottom. For context, i am here after finishing TMA and being up to date with TMAP, i then went over and listened to RQG, and have just finished listening to Epilogue 3 and might i just say, good sir I am grateful for your podcasts. I am currently just a few months away from my final exams of High School, and as someone who even just 1 year ago was very lost, struggling with school and being just overwhelmed. TMA isnt exactly comforting, but the characters and plot managed to serve as a good form of escapism while sorting myself out. I found my self engaging more in creative things that i had originally put aside in favour of maths and science (which i hated but thought i needed to do). I started drawing again, even if just fanart. and i found things going well. By finding podcasts, story telling and these communities have helped me in my own understanding of what i want in life. I got an ADHD diagnosis earlier this year, and almost directly after started RQG and as my first hyperfixation (that i was aware of as an hyperfixation) gosh dang it hit hard. (in a good way). Ive been able to do so much more creative writing and drawings, and got re-involved with a small dnd group with some friends who i played one game with almost 4 years ago now. So overall, inspirational sounds cringe, but it was. Im doing my best with the upcoming exams, but trying to get in to Medicine is not my only prority, and the fact ive been re-introduced to my first love (Literature and story telling), im planning to go do an Arts degree and i know i wouldnt have been able to confidently make this decision, or even have survived this long in the school system without the work you and your coworkers do. Now the sap is out of the way, Question time! (if you could answer even just one of these questions it would be so cool)(they go in order of RQ relevant to random stuff)(dont feel pressured to answer all/any. i know i wrote alot): 1. what would you say is the best way to draft out a long-form story. (with "Erasing the Line" as an example) Did you start at the end, with the links to the overarching plot.

2. When working with the players (in a form of TTRPG), what did you do to make sure you didnt miss relevant timing of plot points/ avoid creating spoilers while still giving enough detail?

3. What are good places to start with making a job out of storytelling/voice acting/audio etc. In the case of RQ, how is this a job and where do i sign up please! /j (what i mean is, how is best way/how did you find all the people involved and was there a common path that you were all on before getting to where you are now?) 4. Do you have recommendations for Terry Pratchett Books, i may be an literary-leaning student, but it seems i have never actually properly read any of his books. so where is best place to start?/What did you read first?

5. Similar authors or similar inspirations? Did you have a favourite podcast you listen to in your free time that you havnt had a hand in producing/directing/working on. 6. Favourite song/album/artist. And more specifically, what you like listening to in background when doing either writing or (for ttrpg) character research/game planing. 7. Since the olympics are on at the moment, what has been your favourite sport to watch, if you have been watching at all. Thank you for your time :)

Thankyou for all the kind words. Knowing our work is helping people really keeps our engines fired up. Let's see if I can't answer your questions: 1. I "sandbox" which is where I just shove everything I can think of into an unorganised bullet point list. Characters, setting, plot, all of it in one big mess. Then I decide what type of story you want to tell, copy and paste to a new document and then start to organise the thoughts (with the sandbox on standby if new stuff comes in I don't know what to do with). I think of it like scultping, you cut away bits and reshape until something comes out the other end that is story shaped. Only then do I attempt to build the sandcastle and put something coherant together like a synopsis or scratch draft etc.

2. Very tricky. I did a complete review and update of all notes after each recording session and don't forget the audio eas edited. I made lots of gaffs that you never heard as audience.

3. I contacted anyone I could convince to take part and just proved I was serious by overworking. I don't reccomend that route. Unfortunately it really is "who" you know. That doesn't mean chase established professionals as much as it means you need to get out there and associate with other up-and-comers who match your vibe. For me the route was long and windy and not a particularly good example. 4. I normally recommend people do not read his books in publication order. Don't get me wrong, its wonderful watching his craft grow from one title to the next but I would recommend new readers tip their toe into his later works to see if they like where he ended up before committing the time. I often recommend 'Monstrous Regiment' as people's first one. My favourite though is 'Thief of Time.'

5. I don't get much time to listen to podcasts in the last couple of years. I used to listen to a lot of non fiction. 'Stuff you Should Know' and that ilk. I also read a fair amount of classic YA fiction to unwind (Windinsger trilogy, Bartimeous, stuff like that.) 6. Paul Simon's Graceland but when working I assemble a playlist for each seperate project that is tonally appropriate. If I really need to focus I listen to Classical Minimalism. Or the Old School Runescape soundtrack. I'm allowed to be ecclectic. 7. I am actually in an incredibly busy work crunch at the moment so haven't seen any of it!

[littlemessyjessi]

"Babydolls and Bucky Bears": A Holiday MCU Imagine: Bucky Barnes

. 

A MCU Holiday Imagine: Bucky Barnes 

Bucky Barnes x Plus Size Reader, PS Reader, Reader 

Warnings: Bucky’s past? Reader has a minor injury.  I mean, this is just referenced and nothing serious.   

Use of Y/N because we all know that if I do a full backstory and name this character right now that none of us will ever see the end of this.  At least not in this calendar year.  But ya’ll know me and ya’ll should know that this has been added to the list of things to turn into stories with characters because I get attached to my writing.  Moving on. 

Fem Identifying reader because I love me some womenses.  I just like writing about a woman especially if I’m already having a love interest with a man.  Because bi panic and I’m selfish.  I want both and the joy of me writing it means I can do that and give myself that little gift. 

If you don’t vibe with that, that’s cool.  Have a lovely day and see ya round.  No worries here.

If you’re under 18, get out.  Love you but get out.   Tis not the place for you.  Be kind to yourselves, drink water and have a great day.  Love you, but leave. 

……

Bucky narrowed his eyes at the black dog that greeted him calmly when he opened the door. 

Not calmly in the way that Dumbledore calmly asked Harry if he’d put his name in the Goblet of Fire movie. 

But calmly as in the way it happened in the book. 

Because all that dog did was sit there, wag his tail and give him a doggy smile. 

Bucky rolled his eyes but the corner of his mouth tugged up a bit. 

He knew his girlfriend, Y/N, was the cause of this. 

“Babe?” he called out. 

“In here!” came her voice from the living room.  

Odd that she didn’t absolutely maul him the moment he walked through the door like she usually did…. but he let it go. 

Perhaps, she was prolonging the lecture that they both knew was coming. 

She could run but she couldn’t hide.  

“Babe, come on, we talked about the dog thing…” Bucky started as he began to pull off his coat and toe off his boots. 

“He’s just visiting for a week, Buck.  Bruno belongs to Anton.” she called back.  

“Aside from the fact that you sang to me over and over and over again that we don’t talk about Bruno… who’s Anton?” he said. 

“He’s in my book club.  He and his wife, Delilah, are going out of town this week to visit the in-laws. Something about they have to go this time because her brother is bringing his new boyfriend and she’s gotta be there for moral support. Anyway,  said in-laws are allergic to dogs.   They offered for me to just stay there and house sit with Bruno but I know you and I know you’d come to collect me before the first night.”  she said, ending with a knowing giggle. 

 “Uh, yeah.  How am I supposed to sleep without my cuddle buddy?” he said, smiling as more of those giggles floated through the air like music to his ears. “Do you want some hot chocolate, doll?” 

“Ooooh, yes please!” she all but squealed. 

Bucky couldn’t help but smile as he turned towards her little hot cocoa cart. 

She’d thrown an unholy fit when she discovered them on Pinterest. 

Pinterest was Bucky’s greatest foe for it was Pinterest that inspired that woman to DIY and when her ADHD kicked in somehow he always came home to an explosion of glitter. 

However, he would admit that the little bar cart turned hot cocoa cart was actually very useful. 

He’d have been just as happy with a Swiss Miss cocoa packet but she got a thrill out of stocking it with all kinds of treats to make the most epic mug of chocolate to have ever existed….. and she did come up with some pretty good combinations. 

“Marshmallows?” he called out. 

She gasped and recognized that tone. 

She was offended. 

“Sorry.” he laughed. “My mistake.” 

“The audacity.” he heard her mumble. 

It was only a few moments more and Bucky had loaded up a tray with their cocoas along with the christmas tree cakes and gingerbread cookies that he knew she’d whine about if he brought it to her without it.  

She’d get up and get it herself… but she’d definitely pout. 

As cute as he thought she was when she was pouting… he wanted to streamline this whole process and get right to the cuddling. 

It had been a day. 

He just wanted to hold her for a while and watch whatever oversaturated Christmas movie she chose for the night. 

Probably the Grinch…. for the millionth time. 

He didn’t mind it though. 

She always cried when the Grinch’s heart grew three sizes  and he thought it was the cutest thing in the whole world. 

However, the second he rounded the corner into the living room… he just stood completely frozen. 

There, in their home was an enormous tree… made from metal. 

Boxes of ornaments were on the floor and sat on the couch, in a nest of blankets, was the love of his life. 

“Buck?” 

He blinked, “Um?” 

The sound of her taking in a huge breath should have prepared him for the onslaught of anxiety ridden explanations but he was honestly just paralyzed with shock at this massive silver tree.  

“Ok, so I know we said we would just do a fake tree because the real one would leak sap everywhere but then I got stuck on TikTok seeing terrifying, horrible stories where those things caught on fire because the wiring is terrible and I didn’t want us to burn alive so for the past month I’ve been making this and scouring all the thrift stores in the tristate area for vintage tree ornaments and I know it’s not traditional but-” she all but exploded, speaking at rate which one could only describe as that of Gilmore Girl proportions.   

“Sweetheart.”

“And I know I sprung the dog situation on you but I really didn’t know until a few hours ago but I didn’t have time to call you because I had to pick up the jukebox this morning.  It’s cute, Buck.  The tabletop ones from an old diner and it’s loaded with Christmas songs!”

“Babe.” 

“And then I had a record on hold from a vintage shop and then the lights for the fireplace came in.  The safe ones! Not the ones that will burn us alive in our sleep!” 

“Doll.” 

“So I had to run out and get the lights and then go get Bruno and get back home and get it all decorated for you because I wanted you to come home to a magically decorated home for the holidays but then I slipped and slid half way down the street in the ice and… here I am.” she said. 

Bucky set the tray down on the table before kneeling in front of her. 

“Ok, so first, take a breath. I don’t think you’ve breathed once since you started.” he teased, happy to have gotten a smile out of her. “Come on.  Big breath and let it out.” 

“Hey, those are my tricks.” 

“Dollface, I don’t think you can claim breathing as one of your tricks.  You might have to take that up with God.” 

“You right. Sorry, Jesus.”

Bucky shook his head, “And I’m not mad.   I don’t mind the dog thing anyway.  I just worry about us having time to take care of one but if you want to hear the truth- since you started working from home more… Which thank you for that by the way.  I know you can handle yourself but knowing you’re here sometimes takes the edge off a little.” 

Her hand found the side of his face, thumb swiping across his cheek, “I know, Buck.  I don’t mind it at all actually.” 

They shared a smile, “I don’t hate the idea of you having a dog here with you either.  I mean, I’d like to be included in the decision and I would really, really prefer it if they had some additional training.   I’ve thought about adopting a retired police dog.  I actually know of a few that need good homes.” 

“James Buchanan Barnes, I love that idea and I love you for thinking of it.  You might get lucky tonight if we can figure out a way to do this without me having to move my foot too much.” she said. 

Bucky smirked but wasted no time in digging around in her blanket nest to find the wounded limb, “Well, I know of several positions that involve your legs over my shoulders so I think we can figure that part out, baby. But let me see.  Did you hurt it badly?” 

“Not too bad. I just sprained it, I think.   And then of course it was icy and I slid.   Oh, we have a trash can lid to return by the way.” she said and at Bucky’s arched brow, she pulled it from where it was leaning against the side table looking very much like Cap’s shield. 

He sighed, “Do I wanna know?” 

“Well, I couldn’t get up because of my ankle and because the ice was slippery too.  Bruno is actually one smart puppy because he brought me that lid, nudged me on and then he literally pulled me home.  Anton and Delilah put his harness on for him before we left so I just held the leash and he pulled me home.  I don’t know what I would’ve done without him.  Oh, I want to make brownies for Miss Helen’s grandsons across the street.  They’re the ones that helped me inside and brought all the stuff up.   When I fell, I dropped everything, which included my phone.  Couldn’t have even called you.  Bruno was a very good boy.” she said, aiming a fond smile at the black lab sitting in the doorway. 

Bucky patted the floor next to him and held out his hand to the dog who all but ran to slide his head underneath it for pets. 

“Thanks, Bruno.” Bucky said, scratching behind the dog’s ears.  “I will cook you a steak for this tonight.” 

“Well deserved!” Y/N cheered and Bruno happily wagged hs tail. 

“Are you sure you’re ok?” he asked. 

She sighed but nodded, “Yeah, I just hate that the house is a mess.  I might need to house sit for Anton and Delilah anyway though.” 

At his furrowed brows she explained, “They fancy over there, babe.   Bruno’s doggy door literally has a remote.  As does his feed and water bowls.   He’s upscale, Buck.  I can do all that from their couch with the remotes.” 

He nodded before giving her a small smile, “Or I could be completely out of action for the next two weeks and live out this little holiday fantasy of yours.” 

“I would personally love nothing more than to have a very cute man servant for the next two weeks.” she said with an impish little smile, “However, Sam might need you.” 

“Sam is gonna be fine.” Bucky laughed. “It would be a blessing to him for me to be out of what little hair he has.” 

“Bucky, that’s not true.” she laughed. 

“He’s training like three newbies.” Bucky said. 

“Oh.” Y/N said and then gave a nod, “Yeah, probably for the best.  Ya’ll would kill each other.” 

“Exactly.” he said. “I’ll let him know later that he can finally have some peace of mind training them the way he’d like to and I will spend the next two weeks doing whatever Hallmark Holiday Bucket List that I know you have hidden away somewhere.” 

“Well, ice skating is definitely crossed off that list.” she said. 

“Baby, seems to me that you’ve already done your ice skating this year.” he said, gesturing to her swollen ankle.  “If sledding with snow dogs was on there, mark that as completed as well.” 

“Will do.” she giggled. 

“So there is a list!” 

“Of course there’s a list, James! How the heck do you expect me to get anything done without a list?” 

The two of them fell into laughter. 

Bucky ordered in, Door Dashing enough food to feed an army. 

He claimed it was because fast food would make her foot feel better.  

In reality, his babygirl was hurt and honestly he just wanted to give her all her favorites. 

He also ordered a steak for Bruno, the best boy, and decided to text that friend of his. 

A dog definitely seemed like a good idea now. 

The dog might not be ready to go by Christmas… but he could definitely make her holiday by taking her to see them. 

‘Hey, it’s Bucky.  You know how we talked about the dogs the other day? I’m on board and I got time to come by over the next couple of weeks.  Lemme know a good time.’ he texted only to receive a reply almost instantly.

‘Great timing.  Come by anytime and we’ll go from there.’ 

Bucky looked over the scene in his home

An explosion of holiday cheer and right in the middle of it was his sweet girl sipping her hot cocoa watching Disney Channel holiday episodes and scratching the dog’s head. 

This was about as close to heaven as he had gotten in a long time. 

He looked up to the ceiling for a second before giving a little nod and he said a prayer to God or the Universe or however the creator wanted to be addressed these days, “Thank you. This is better than I ever thought I get and far more than I ever thought I deserved.  Thank you.” 

“Hey, Buck, come watch! Raven just had a vision that she’s  getting a necklace for Christmas!” 

He smiled and settled into the couch beside her, pressing a kiss to her temple. 

“You ok, babe?” she asked. 

“I’m great, babe. This is nice.” he said. 

“I’m sorry about the mess. I’ll get it cleaned up when I can stand.” She apologized. 

“You’re not standing for several days and you can take that any way you want.” he said with a smirk before adding seriously, “And I’ll get all this cleaned up and take care of the dog.” 

“But-” 

“No.” he said. “I don’t usually get to be involved in the decorating process anyway.  I’m gone more than I’d like  and don’t get me wrong- I love coming home to it, baby.  It’s so nice to come home and see all the time and effort you put into our home.  But it’ll be nice to be a part of it.  Take this opportunity to boss me around, babe.  It doesn’t happen often.” 

“Oh, I can think of plenty of times I boss you, James.” she said, keeping her gaze on the television. 

She always looked so sweet but Bucky knew the feisty little firecracker that resided behind all that holiday cheer. 

He chose to save his response for later… when Bruno was in his bed and they were in theirs. 

“But I’ll take care of Bruno.” she continued. “I agreed.  Not you.  It’s my responsibility.” 

“We’ll call it even for him rescuing the love of my life.” Bucky said. “Besides, consider it a trial run on the dog idea.” 

“Yeah, but.” 

“Baby, I’m not taking no for an answer here.” he said before furrowing his brows. “Despite how creepy that just sounded.   Does anyone listen when they say things like that?  That sounded very-” 

“Assaulty? Stalkery?” she supplied. 

“Yeah.” he said. “Babe, that’s not how-” 

“Oh, can it, Barnes.” she laughed. “I know you would never.  You’ve literally changed my shirt for me when I was too drunk to function and puked on myself. Yet, you kept your eyes closed and still asked for consent over and over.  Despite the fact that you have seen me naked plenty of times before.”  

“Well, babe, I just-” 

“I know and I love you for it.” 

“You shouldn’t love me for basic human kindness.” 

“I don’t.” she said. “I love you because you acknowledge that basic human kindness is something that is sometimes very lacking in the world.   I know that you understand that better than most on levels that most couldn’t even come close to in their deepest, darkest nightmares.  I love YOU, Bucky.  And I know that who you are is so true because despite all of the horrible things that have happened in your life… that little light?  That little light still shines and that’s you.  That’s my Bucky Bear.” 

“I love you, Babydoll.  Merry Christmas.” 

“I love you, Bucky Bear. Merry Christmas.” 

And the house was warm and full of contentment with the lovers cuddled close, ornaments twinkling in the firelight and a hound peacefully laying at their feet. 

A Merry Christmas it was. 

…….  

Hello, loves!  I hope you enjoy this holiday content! 

Hope ya’ll are having a great day! 

Love you. 

— 

Permanent Taglist:

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K, Love you, Bye!

[cynarisgayass]

𓍊𓋼~Letting the impulsive thoughts win~𓋼𓍊

Type: Short oneshots

Description: Sorry for lack of posts, 4th of July put a stop on my schedule (which I hate sm) but anyways this is letting the impulsive thoughts win with genshin characters. Like wanting to throw whip cream at someone or boop them idfk.

Rating: Fluff/funny

Reader: GN, slight autism/adhd vibes

Includes: Wanderer/ Xiao

Wanderer:

It was calling to you, begging you, tempting you with it's white soft texture...(Don't be a perv ;)

Whip cream...covering the top of the pie you'd just bought, it smelled amazing and looked even better...but the thought of gently smashing into Wanderers face was literally eating at your being. Plus the counter was clean, you could literally still eat it if you wanted to so it wouldn't really be a waste..."No. No you can't, you can't."

"Can't what?"

You jumped at the sudden voice behind you...when had he walked in? Was he onto you... "Wanderer! Haha, I was just telling myself I can't eat the whole thing in one sitting. That's all, nothing else!"

He looked at you annoyed, like he knew you were up to something but not exactly what it was. "Hmm, I still don't understand how you can eat it. It's disgustingly sweet." He stepped closer to the counter, standing right, over, the pie, scowling at it.

You couldn't take it anymore, fate had laid it out all perfect for you. Your hand slipped under the pie and before he even had the chance to move you smooshed it in his face, whip cream covering all his features, dripping down his chin as you set the mostly empty crust aside.

He couldn't even react, he was so shocked and that was to funny for you, you started laughing hysterically, tears running down your cheeks as you tried to apologise. "I-im so sorry! Hahaha I couldnt- you stepped Infront- I'm sorry! Bahahaha!"

He took a deep breath and sighed, for a second you were worried he was genuinely angry, but he wouldn't be with you if he couldn't handle your impulsive thoughts. He held up the crust and scooped out what was left, "Your actions have consequences..."

You wiped a tear away and looked at him confused, "Huh?-AH!"

He mushed the pie filling on the top of your head, swirling it with your hairs as you squealed in dismay.

Xiao:

You giggled in excitement as Xiao helped you tie up your kite. You'd made it yourself, using all the Yakshas as your inspiration and even better was as you made it he told you stories of them. You could tell it was a little hard for him at first, but once he started talking about the happier stories he loosened up. This one he was telling now seemed to especially resonate with him.

"They were always playing tricks, using ink to draw on my face and introducing me to people, but giving me the wrong name. Bonanus, she was usually far less embarrassing with her pranks...actually you remind me of her in that way."

You blushed lightly, "I do?"

"Yes. She would often try and find ways to make me flustered. Once she even found a inappropriate book and left it for me to read. Even leaving a note on it that read: Alatus, I've found these war tactics very useful. Read at once."

Your smile widened as you imagined him opening the book, "I bet you were completely red in the face haha!"

"I was. It made it even worse that Morax- Zhongli I mean, was there when I started to read it."

"Pffft!" You burst out laughing, unable to contain yourself as you pictured the scene with Zhongli being in the same room. Then it was like a switch went off...and you felt kinda numb, maybe sad even...wishing you could have been there. "Xiao, do you prefer that part of your life..."

He paused and looked at you in confusion, "I don't prefer one part of my life over the other. I may miss my Yaksha companions, but if I were to choose that part of my life over this one, I would no longer have you. That would be just as much of a loss if not more."

Your heart skipped a beat as the moment grew more intense, his eyes staring into yours like he was attempting to prove to you that his words were true. It was a bit much and you weren't really good with tension...so you chose to lighten the mood with the very thing you'd wanted to do since he started talking.

You reached out and poked his nose, saying a small little, "Boop" as you did so. It was so random and yet it fixed the heavy air that had gathered around you both. His face turned a light shade of pink and he returned back to what he was doing, as if nothing had happened at all.

"Xiao?"

"Hm?"

"Is it don't yeeeettt???"

Another dirty alphabet up nexttt~

[jewish-culture-is]

(ADHD) Jewish culture is this. Let me explain my predicament, im kinda broke at the moment so i cant go buy more candles, so when my candles ran out 2 days before the end of hanukkah, i had half a set of tall ass hanukkah candles and also pink, blue, and yellow polka dot candles from a set of birthday candles i lost in a drawer last year. The tall ones varied in size because i already used them to light my scented candles and put the used candles back in the pack. Why do i have half a box of hanukkah candles? To make up for last years lack of candles of course, then had extra that i set aside for the next year. this same scenario has gone on for years but im being forced to fix it by the mighty Broke Bitch Syndrome.

.

[overwatch]

I played D&D yesterday at a board game store and I am still a bit shook from it. This isn't a D&D horror story but there's a few things I need to vent about.

- the DM who we did not know handed us character sheets. Apparently this had been agreed with the guy from my group who was arranging everything but he forgot to tell everyone?

- I never related more to a drag queen who gets the role on a ruchallenge they hate. I was forced to play a low charisma wizard whose whole thing was being religious. I did rly good and moved the plot along despite this horrible character, I killed it.

- Anyway straight men are animals they immediately go "IM ROGUE" "IM BARBARIAN". They don't even read the character description or backstory. Or ask me and the other girl in the group if we wanted to read the roles first??

- nobody was doing character voice 🫠 "he says x" "he asks why"-- I interrupted the other players to speak like the characters and they were just stuborn. Especially the straight men they barely used dialogue they only wanted to fight?

- one of the things I HATED the most was that I got a crystal (important plot device) and one of the straights says a) he wants to break it. I start *discussing* with the group that I don't think that's a good choice. B) suddenly the guy says "I take the crystal from her and save it on my things."

????

- me and the group and still discussing what to do with the crystal but the guy decides he takes it and doesn't need to roll or interact/ask me. He then triggers a boss to appear who wants the crystal.

- Before we can discuss as a group why we should give him the crystal the same guy throws the crustal at the guy??

- The DM who had obviously put some effort into describing the boss and voice for the boss just goes ok. I guess he leaves with the crystal then.

- the same guy says he wants to fight the boss. Not for the crystal. Just because he wants ti fight.

- I see the horror flash on the DMs eyes. This is obviously a very high level boss to fight later in the campaign. He even goes "are you sure..?" I save it by saying no obviously not. We already lost the crystal let's not get killed too. Dm says "good choice".

- playing in a boardgame store is horrible. There's so much noise. I have adhd and oh my god. Also dm said something rly serious to my character and I couldn't understand him and didn't wanna ask him to repeat himself bc he did character voice and it was a tense moment.

- straight men's characters kept trying to "go investigate on their own". Boy we just started the campaign??? Maybe idk we should stick together. One of them kept "I go way ahead of them" or "I go way in the back". Which triggered events without us being there yet. At some point the DM ignored the guy and just spoke like he was there with us too.

- I was the only one (aside from dm) actually roleplaying and doing voices.

- one of the guys was mad the dm didn't let him use his own figure on the map even though it was three times the size of the figures the dm had for us.

- I am 100% sure the men were angry I was the hero of the battle we had. (It was bush like creatures and I used burning hands... They were all upset at the dm when the attacks they used barely did anything. And I mean actually arguing.

Anyway I just to take this out of my chest. They also kept asking for feedback/compliments on WhatsApp and I was nice and said I rly liked meeting with them and the dm was way better than I had imaged. And the guy that stole my crystal without asking and almost ruined the game an off comment about me being "uncomfortable" because I didn't join them for dinner after (worded like an accusation)? 🫠 And didn't even say anything about me carrying the game and helping him with his fuck ups. But ok.

[rum-and-shattered-dreams]

The Man Downstairs Status Report -

July 10 2024

It's ahhhh been a while. Thanks so much to everyone who has been patient with this! How are you all doing?

So, first off, the actual status:

It's alive! ALIVE! I will have a chapter ready to post this Saturday evening! Finally! I can't say how often updates will happen but I do still want to finish this so even if it takes a while, I'm gonna get there!

Second:

Why it took so long (and some photos, some with cats and plants) - under the read more...

The reason related to the writing itself is that something was wrong in the story/tone and I knew it but couldn't figure out what it was. Recently, I had a breakthrough and have been rewriting everything that didn't feel right. Also, there was a scene that just didn't fit quite yet as much as I wanted it to so I took that out for now. We'll see what happens with it in the future.

One main non-writing reasons is cats! So many cats! I mentioned finding kittens back in this post and they have a home now... With me XD. (Except one who some acquaintances adopted so now I have nine instead of ten). In order to keep them, I needed to screen in part of my carport to give all of my kitties more space.

Building it was the easy part thanks to a friend. Getting the permit was the worst. But it's done and it's beautiful now! And most of the kitties tolerate each other now thanks to it! (Six of them are here):

Also, I've been putting in a lot of work on the gardens, especially the front one.

Before:

And after:

The dune sunflowers at the front will eventually fill the whole strip and the mulched areas that look a bit barren will fill in as the bushes grow and the wildflowers and ground cover fills in. As an example, here's the side garden when I first planted everything (with rain to illustrate that it also acts as drainage/a retention pond):

And here it is after two years of filling in:

And it's still not even near where it will be in the future!

And here's what the back yard looked like before:

And what it looks like now (yes it looks a bit hairy at the moment because it's in a stage where I'm letting things figure themselves out for a bit and once they're settled, I'll straighten it out more):

Aside from garden work, I also took driving lessons for a second time and actually managed to get my license this time (past all of my overwhelm and shut down associated with driving.)

Also, I was on ADHD meds but didn't like the side effects of not getting restful sleep and constantly having a stupidly high heart rate so I talked to my doctors, stopped taking it, and switched to a supplement program that helps balance things (cortisol, gaba, dopamine etc). It's not an immediately effective solution but it has been improving things over time and doesn't have the side-effects. Otherwise, I've been working on finding other coping mechanisms as well as trying to get meaningful rest to recover from burnout. It is getting better. Being able to write again is a good sign of that. Focus is still iffy a lot but it's improving. (I've been playing a lot of Palia and Stardew Valley lately XD)

So yeah. here's hoping for better things ahead for all of us!

[dragjunkie23]

Please Come Home

Request: A lovely user wanted to see how Sam would handle a partner with PMDD, which is almost like PMS but a lot worse especially for those who have ADHD or other neurodivergent

Minors DNI

Warnings: Very emotional, angsty, fluffy

Three days

It’s been three whole days since Sam left with Dean to help with a case. I normally would go with them, but I decided to sit this one out and give myself a break as the recent jobs we had got me super exhausted.

However, the exhaustion was not just from the cases. My period also decided to show up, and normally I can ride it out the best I can, but having ADHD plus hormones running wild…it’s not a great mix to have.

The cramps I can handle. It’s the fact that Sam was gone that was getting to me.

I took one of his flannels he left behind in our shared room and would hold it as I fell asleep. It sounded dumb, but having this close to me was almost like Sam was here.

I couldn’t take it anymore after day three, though. I found myself waking up crying and every single little thing got to me. I tried to fix our AC unit but I kept dropping the screws. I wounded up crying for about 1 hour before I could finally pick myself back up.

I wanted Sam to come home, to wrap his arms around me and tell me that everything would be okay. It felt selfish to ask him to drop everything and come home, though. People’s lives were in danger and we were the only one who could help them.

I eventually swallowed my pride and decided to call Sam up. Maybe hearing his voice would make things better.

“Y/N?”

I tried to hold myself together as I didn’t want him to know I’ve been upset.

“Hey…baby…I just wanted to call and say hi,” I said.

“Well, hey to you too,” he said as I heard him smile, “What bought this on? Everything okay?”

“Yeah…I just miss you that’s all,” I said.

“I miss you, too, baby girl,” he said.

The moment those words came out of his mouth, the water works began as I started to cry. I couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“Baby?! You okay!?” he said in a panicked tone.

I didn’t know what came over me but I knew that there was no point in hiding it.

“Truth be told…no. I’m…I got my period shortly after you and Dean left, and it’s just been killing me. Every little thing gets me upset. I almost threw the toaster across the room because I burnt my toast…and I just wish you were here with me. I’m so lonely. I’m sorry…I didn’t…I know this job is important…”

“Hey hey, there’s not need to apologize,” he said, concern filling his voice, “Oh baby girl, I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”

All I could do was nod. It felt great getting it all out but I also felt guilty. “I’m not trying to guilt trip you…”

“Baby, deep breaths” he said, “Again, you have nothing to apologize for. In fact, I’m glad you told me this.”

There was a moment of silence before Sam told me to hold on a second. My heart was pounding a bit as I wondered what was going to happen next. Was he mad? Was Dean mad? So much anxiety ran through me as I waited for the next steps.

Finally, Sam picked the phone up. “You still there, sweetheart?”

“Yes,” I managed to say.

“Okay. I’m coming home right now. Garth is nearby anyways so he’s gonna help with the case.”

“Sam…no…”

“Y/N, it’s all fine. If it helps, Dean was the first to say that I should come home to you before I even asked. He also instructed me to bring you chocolate ice cream and to put my healthy eating habits aside for this.”

I smiled a little bit, feeling better knowing that Dean was on board. Still, the guilt lingered, but there wasn’t a whole lot I could do about that.

“Get some sleep, sweetheart. I’ll see you in a bit.”

_______________________

3 Hours Later

I felt a little dip in our bed as someone sat down. Opening my eyes, I saw Sam looking at me with a sympathetic smile on his face.

He’s home.

I jumped on him, wrapping my arms around him and burying my face into his neck, letting out little tears.

“You’re back.”

“I told you I would be back,” he said.

He wrapped his arms around me, stroking my hair and rocking me back and forth to help soothe me. He whispered in my ear things like “Shhh, it’s okay, baby girl. Let it out. I’m home. You’re safe.”

After I calmed down, we both laid down on the bed, my upper body still on him as he continued to massage my head while rubbing my back.

“Can I ask…what bought this on?” he asked.

I shrugged. “It’s…not easy to explain Sam. I think in all honesty, it was a mix of pure exhaustion, the pain, and so much more. Normally I can take care of myself just fine, but…I don’t know. I’m sorry…that I made you leave…I wanted you to finish…”

“And I wanted to leave the moment I heard you crying. You didn’t make me leave, sweetheart. I wanted to get back here…I just needed to know that you were safe and that I could be there for you.”

I just nodded, not knowing what else to say. I wanted to apologize again, but I knew Sam would just tell me to stop apologizing.

“What…did Dean look like when you told him?” I asked.

“He looked scared, honestly,” he said, “When I told him what was going on, he was relieved that it was nothing serious, but insisted that I go and help you before I could ask.”

“You mentioned that on the phone,” I said.

“I know. Now, let’s get some rest, okay?”

I didn’t want to rest. I wanted to stay awake, enjoying Sam’s company. My body needed the rest, though, so I drifted off, finally having a dreamless sleep in the arms of the man I love.

[vaguely-concerned]

I've been trying to figure out a dynamic between neve and rye that I find more compelling, because right now there's not much of anything there for me to sink my little teeth into. but I think I've landed on something delicious with the idea that especially after minrathous gets fucked, rye looks at neve and sees myrna -- someone he feels he keeps letting down horribly no matter how hard he tries not to and can't quite achieve the approval of/connection with that he wishes so it's better to just pull away completely and disengage rather than stay in that unshifting shame. neve is (very understandably) measured and distant with him after what happened, and he's flashing back to his student days of myrna gazing at the perpetually hungover heartbroken heap of a person of him on the other side of her desk every time he missed the deadline of a paper or project like '...can we at least both agree that this is. a bit disappointing. especially considering your potential.' (and him all smudged black eyeshadow and numb ruefulness being like 'sure that's a very kind way to put it myrna thank you'.)

aside from the 'if I let him get too deeply into this he'll go the way of brom and it'll be all my fault (again)' element, neve thinks rye is dismissing her and her city/being a bit callous in the same way he was after varric's death (listen. how fucking wild must rook's reaction to losing a beloved mentor seem to the rest of the crew who aren't seeing the blood magic paper doll ghost varric the whole time, especially those who got to see them interact. you WOULD think 'there's something wrong with this guy. putting the job first is one thing just not seeming to react at all is another this is fucking freaky', wouldn't you, especially after seeing the warmth in that dynamic in action beforehand.) perfect storm of two people who grit their teeth and turn inwards in pain deciding that not talking about it is their best bet (NEWSFLASH: IT ISN'T) lmao

(rye spent his last year of watcher training on a mostly joyless bender and then got it together enough to finish the eternal orb project last moment in a fevered near-sleepless week instead of the half a year that was intended. emmrich is both astounded and distressed to hear this. "a week? but -- but that is an astounding accomplishment rook!! and also why in the maker's good light would you ever do that to yourself?" ("well you see there was no one to stop me from doing it like that but me. and under those conditions these things tend to happen".) rye was working through/looking up stuff around transitioning and doing every kind of OTHER high level watcher research through that whole time, but ultimately he's an excellent watcher and a terrible student, at least under traditional methods. adhd from here to the fucking moon. touched by something akin to divine inspiration in moments of high tension that pulls all the threads into one coherent unbreakable cord, a bit of a frayed mess in most other settings. in our world he'd be dropping out of a masters program at the very last hurdle in this moment maker bless and protect him)

[seventeenlovesthree]

OPLA episode 2 - first impressions

I swear, I feel like a screamy fangirl, considering I have watched German One Piece since I was like... 12, quite literally, since it aired in 2003. Even though I haven't consistently read/watched the series, I had a stronger phase in 2011 or so and watching the series now brings a lot of nostalgia back. SPOILERS AHEAD.

I've said it before, but the Romance Dawn Trio is giving me SO much life. I have always had a fondness for OT3 dynamics and the dynamics portrayed here are just... Wow. (I told this a friend, but they actually kinda remind of me of the JJK trio here, but let's not digress.) Again, the whole thing with Zoro and Nami doing their best not to give the impression that they give a damn, just to STILL end up doing everything for Luffy and each other is giving me so many goddamn feelings every. Single. Time. Zoro and Nami have always been infamous for having that "One for you, one for me" dynamic, constantly bickering, always looking for that "equivalent exchange" with, apparently, no strings attached, only gains, no emotional attachment whatsoever... But the one thing they (and all strawhats, really) have in common is that they would move mountains (read: die) for Luffy. And that's where they'll always put their differences aside - the moment they smiled at each other, promising to kick butts of everyone they'd encounter (to eventually save Luffy) side by side, was everything to me. Maybe there aren't a lot of emotions between them, but even if they appear to be on completely different ends of the loyalty/motivation spectrum - there is that thing that links them together and that's just very enjoyable, despite all the bickering. ("There's something way more valuable than diamonds - knowledge!!!") Also, a piece of framing I haven't even REALLY thought about before is really nicely done - the fact that BOTH Zoro and Nami do NOT think highly of pirates at this point in time. So Luffy being Luffy, convincing them that he is indeed different... It makes their developing bond so much more special.

The LuNa scene at the beginning - even if we've already seen them in clips -, is just sending me. Luffy's ADHD energy is beautiful, you can really tell how excited he is - and how easily he attaches himself to his not crewmates. I mean, one of his love languages CLEARLY is physical touch after all (the second one is food sharing) and, again, I just love how natural it is. Or maybe that's just me.

... What is it with the way Zoro's opponents have been oozing with sexual tension towards him so far??? And he's not any better, seriously... I mean, we already have the lone wolf facade CRUMBLING HEAVILY, having Zoro basically CONFESS that "this simpleton in a strawhat" changed his way of thinking within HOURS of having known him.... Be still my ZoLu heart.

I love the foreshadowing in Shanks' portrayal, even as someone who hasn't completely caught up to everything that is happening.

I really enjoy that Buggy is actually portrayed to be terrifying, I think they did find a good middle ground in language usage not being TOO on the nose with everything. But the imminent fear of death is always there and his over-the-top, dramatic acting fits SO well.

Again, I really enjoy Koby's acting, his and Helmeppo's dynamics are great and Garp has been intimidating as well...

Luffy's good-hearted-main-character-energy is still through the roof and I love it. Never stop smiling, my friend.

Fight choreographies and CGI still look high quality to me.

Again, for me it's easy to take this for what it is, I feel heavily reminded of my beloved Digimon stageplay and I've known these characters for years, so my bias should not come as a surprise. But really? I enjoy being catered to and the quality speaks for itself!

NAMI FIXING THE HAT THOUGH!!! God, I love them.

[brotherhoodoftheblade]

So finally I read Voyager (by that I mean, I actually read the whole thing this time, and not just John and Jamie’s chapters lol) for the first time in five or six years and I’d been meaning to jot down my impressions of it (while I still have them somewhat fresh to mind) but, typically, I’ve kept forgetting and getting distracted by other stuff. (I actually finished it nearly a month ago, but again, my mind forever is fluff on the wind it seems. *sigh*)

Since I really don’t want to end up writing another another long-winded essay about the book I’ll attempt to keep it brief. lol

Rereading Voyager once again made clear why Jamie/Claire has always been much more easily shippable for me than Jamie/John. (Even though my shipping of J/C is low-key to negligible tbh.) It’s not because the latter doesn’t have a very interesting (if ultimately too toxic for me) dynamic (even if the fascinating quality of their relationship is sometimes akin to being unable to tear your eyes away from a car crash). And it’s not because I’m too much of a puritanical pearl-clutcher to appreciate to the dark allure of a so-called toxic ship (trust me, I have far more f*cked up ships than J/J lmao).

The main reason Jamie and Claire work for me, despite the fact that they can often be pretty batshit in their dynamic, is because they’re the SAME KIND of batshit...about EACH OTHER...EQUALLY. 😂

Jamie/John just don’t have that. The batshit obsessiveness is way too one-sided. I mean, if they’re not equally in unhinged, all-consuming love with each other then what’s even the point? lol Such an unbalanced nature in a toxic ship just doesn’t sail far with me, and after a while just has me looking at the undervalued party wishing they’d locate their self-respect, get a grip, and get a damn life already! (And, yes, I’m looking at you, John. *weary sigh*)

Also, rereading the infamous “take your hand off me or I’ll kill you” scene between John and Jamie at Ardsmuir reaffirmed my initial impression of it back when I’d first read it years ago (and let’s be honest, between ADHD and depression brainfog, I don’t really begin to fully trust my own memory of books until I’ve read them a few times). That it’s wholly unethical for the governor of a prison to proposition any of his prisoners is indisputable to me, but even putting that aside, the whole exchange still came off pretty questionably to me just on its own. 

Jamie did nothing whatsoever to indicate that he might be receptive to that sort of attention from John. It’s like when you find yourself suddenly hit on apropos of nothing, despite having given no sign of encouragement whatsoever -- and at an inappropriate time to boot. I mean, seriously, how did John think propositioning Jamie in the wake the revelation of his grief over the loss of the love of his life was a remotely considerate time to be doing that? (If someone had tried to take advance of me in such a vulnerable moment after I’d shared something so personal with them, I’d have been bloody annoyed!)

Their exchange of shared grief was the first moment of genuine trust extended  between them, a gift really, especially on Jamie’s part, and John thought that was a good time to make a move on him? And more importantly, where’s the logic in it? 

Jamie had just been talking about how much he loved his wife - a woman - while having never done anything to give the impression that he was remotely attracted to John (in fact, the impression given was much the opposite most of the time), so how then did it make the remotest sense for John to risk exposing himself like that?? Especially when John’s always emphasizing how crucial it was for men like himself to be careful around other men and not make any dangerous assumptions. Extreme caution is always the order of the day when it comes to situations like this, so wouldn’t it at least have made more sense to wait until he felt more certain of the lay of the land? 

Except with Jamie he already knew perfectly well he had no need to practice the same kind of caution he would’ve with any other gentleman. Jamie was a convicted Jacobite with no standing whatsoever. He couldn’t have spoken out about John even if he’d wanted to -- his word was worthless against him. (And of course, it’s in much the same tone of imbalanced power that John carried forward their strained friendship under duress during Jamie’s years at Helwater.) 

Of course, despite John’s awareness of the disproportionate amount of power he held over Jamie, his intentions, at heart, weren’t remotely malicious. (He’s certainly no Black Jack Randall!) Yet, it’s still the appearance of impropriety that stands with him. Mainly because intellectually he knows better than to do half the stuff he does, but he just gets caught up in the intensity of his feelings in the moment and ends up doing impulsively reckless shit. It’s the story of his life at this point. :/ (I mean, just think how often his “brave” impulsivity or his injudicious tongue has ended up landing him straight into hot water, while instances where cravenness stilled his tongue could’ve changed the course of his life for the better if he’d only had the courage to speak from his heart.)

Another thing that stood out to me was the characterization of Frank Randall in the book in comparison to the general attitudes of animosity he receives in the fandom. 

Now I can’t say I strongly ship either Jamie/Claire or Frank/Claire (though I’ve certainly found both interesting and likeable at times), so I’m pretty neutral when it comes to any shipping biases on their parts. I do feel that it’s stanning Jamie and Claire so much that’s garnered Frank so much unwarranted hatred. I mean, he’s not a saint (none of them are lol) but he also couldn’t be farther from the devil. The worst thing charge I can legitimately lay at his feet is being a racist (though it’s unfortunately pretty understandable given his age and the time period - after all, only the people who were rarely ahead of their time could legitimately have been said to have not been racist at all during a time when it was the cultural norm). 💀

But aside from the racism, Frank was a far better man than most. How many men would’ve taken Claire back after she turned up three years later, pregnant with another man’s child, whom she had married and fallen in love with even though she was already married to Frank??? And not only that, loved that child as much as if she’d been his own biological daughter? Despite the fact that just the sight of Brianna was a constant flesh and blood reminder that Claire had betrayed him? And that Claire was still in love with Jamie despite having returned to Frank. (And he even supported her going to medical school - something a lot of husbands in that time wouldn’t have done.)

And yeah, I know he cheated on her - and that’s what so many rake him over the coals for - but under the circumstances I find it kind of hard to blame him. Did Frank not deserve to be with someone who actually loved him? Unlike Claire, who only ever came back to him in body but not in spirit, and certainly not in heart! She spent all those years being emotionally unfaithful to him first, even though he was the one who’d chosen to do the honourable thing by standing by her and raising a child that wasn’t even his. It takes two people to ruin a marriage, and the efforts of both in concert to make things work. And Claire couldn’t have made it clearer that her heart was no longer in their relationship -- and that wasn’t Frank’s fault. 

And the final thing that really stood out to me: the rampant fatphobia in Outlander. I mean, I’d noticed it here and there but hadn’t paid it a great deal of attention because it mostly seemed like isolated occurrences scattered throughout the books (and as I’ve said before, I haven’t fully read all of the OL books from cover to cover yet - mostly the parts with John, Percy, or others closely related to them). 

But reading the whole of Voyager brought back to me how often I’d noticed similar fatphobic sentiments expressed at other times, and just how frequently, in particular, DG uses fatness to emphasize the repulsiveness of villainous characters (like with Geillis when her character is reintroduced in Jamaica). And, it’s such a common sentiment even just in passing conversation that you’ve probably already noticed it (or if you somehow haven’t, I bet you’ll start noticing it a lot more now).

Even in her parting advice to Brianna, Claire goes, “Try not to get fat”, and I was like ‘WHATTT?? She’s abandoning her daughter (who’s also lost her father and has no other relatives) and you may never see her again, and THAT’S the parting motherly life advice you have for the poor girl??? ‘Try not to get fat’?!?!” Seriously? 🙄

DG can shove her fatphobia up her arse with the rest of her toxic predilections, for all I care.😐

[gashface]

HEY GUYS!!! ,

This weeks prompt, was set out to learn more about your models, and delve a bit into their lives! <;3 These stories should be an important moment in their life, or just a memory that shaped them.

WARNING: This weeks prompt has a couple trigger warnings, which will be listed above the edit, so keep this in mind and proceed with caution &lt;3

With this in mind, onto the results! This week I was looking for edits that embrace your models story again, but from an earlier time in their lives. The main focus was on storytelling this week, and the edits reflecting this story. Whether this be directly, or in an abstract manner.

Charline Morel by @cyazurai

“Quand il me prend dans ses bras…” Fifteen-year-old Charline could hear her own voice singing, and she knew she was, but there was no heart in it. She hated singing. Well, perhaps she didn’t hate it, but through the circumstances she had grown to despise it. “.. qu'il me parle tout bas…” A tear streaked down her left cheek and she avoided her mother’s disapproving gaze. Beside her, her little sister Delphine enthusiastically played her violin to accompany her as they entertained their parents’ guests. “... le vois la vie en rose.” Another tear, this time on the right. This was not a sad song. This was a happy, romantic song. She should be putting her all into it, but all she could feel was the walls closing in. She was surrounded by people she could no longer see - they were just becoming only silhouetted blurs, judging her and family. They must be perfect. This happens every year. It was her parents’ New Years Eve party, and every year it was her and her sister’s obligation to make sure not to disappoint the hundreds of prestigious guests their parents invited. They had to be perfect or else. She hated this. She hated it. She didn’t want to be forced to sing just for a little bit of positive attention. Why did she have to do this? Why did Delphine have to be perfect at the violin just so that their parents might agree to let them go out for ice cream (when it wasn’t even a guarantee)? It was unfair. It was at this moment that Charlie realized she didn’t want to do this anymore, and so as the tears streamed down her cheeks, she decided to pour her heart into it one last time - because next year, she was going to be her parents’ performing monkey over her dead body.

POINTS

ORIGINALITY: 8/10

STORY: 10/10

EXECUTION: 9/10

STYLE: 9/10

Parker Winston by @morgynemberisagenderfluiddaddy

TW!: Suicide, self harm, mental health

Hi! My name's Parker, and I've tried to commit suicide multiple times. I know you're thinking that's a morbid and socially awkward way to introduce myself, but hey, it's a big part of my story and who I am. Don't get me wrong, there's a lot more to a person than just their mental health, but a lot of the time, these things tend not to get discussed, period. Let alone when we are trying to get to know somebody, so for today, I hope we can put that stigma aside, and I can tell you a little about my journey.

I have ADHD, and depression is something I have lived with as far back as I can remember. By the time I was twenty, I had tried to kill myself three times, I had a family that didn't talk to me, I'd cut my arms up so much my forearms were more scar than skin, my heart was crushed by someone I thought was the love of my life, and I was hooked on anything I could get my grubby little hands on.

I think about that shit a lot, the things I did, and the decisions I made. I think about the person I was and the person I am today.

They're wildly different people, but now that I'm able to see it from another side, I realize one can't exist without the other. I would've never learned the things I did, and I couldn't have grown from it. It was hell, and I had to claw those life lessons from my struggle like a damn wolverine, but hey, I survived! Despite my best efforts... Yeah, I know that's not funny, but if you don't laugh sometimes, you'll cry, and I'm sick of crying about it.

I hated who I was, and I had a hard time coping with everything I did, not just the suicide attempts but everything. Though I finally realized I couldn't change the past, but I could change the future.

I could get help, and I could make sure none of that ever happened again. I can't change the past, and it aches to know that somewhere in space and time, that kid is still struggling, and I wish I could talk to him... I don't know what I'd say to him because I know he wouldn't listen and probably just lift my wallet. But I still want to hug him, tell him that really it's all going to be okay, that he needs to let go of a lot of shit and learn to love himself, then I'd tell him to get rid of that asshole's shitty T-shirt.

The pain you feel, it's not for nothing, but it's also not forever. You'll learn from this, and in a way you least expect it, it will come full circle. Ease up on the drugs, stop cutting, and get yourself some help. I know you don't think you deserve it, but you do! And believe it or not, one day you're going to have a lot of people that want and need you around. This shit doesn't get any easier, but it does get better. You just need to let it.

So tell that jackass his band ain't shit, tell your parents they're full of shit, and tell your siblings you love them even though they all suck, hang onto your friends, don't be so scared, let yourself feel, and listen to yourself once in a while! You know yourself better than you think, and you know what you need, and guess what! The answer isn't always coke! I can't help that kid anymore, but I can help the one's reading this, and if in this moment you feel hopeless, do me, a stranger on the internet, a favor. Take a deep breath, know that it gets better, and reach out to somebody! You deserve help, you deserve love, and you deserve to be alive! With love, - Parker W.

POINTS

ORIGINALITY: 9/10

STORY: 10/10

EXECUTION: 7/10

STYLE: 7/10

Ember Arendse by @wolfrynn313

Ember: "When I saw this week's prompt,I knew that I had to recreate a childhood photo of me at the keyboard with my Mum/Mom. I've always been creatively inclined and so have both of my parents and brothers; I thought it important to focus on the crystallization of my musical inclination and creativity, hence the feature of ice freezing in place. I realized who I was pretty early on and remain to be proud of the person that I grew into."

POINTS

ORIGINALITY: 8/10

STORY: 8/10

EXECUTION: 8/10

STYLE: 8/10

Dillion Carter by @mewo-ita

Idea: Cherished memory of being with family at a rollerskating rink’s 80s night.

“Figured I should say something myself this time. My comfort place for the past decade whenever I feel overwhelmed to do anything has been this rink.

I discovered it the first three months after being adopted. I barely talked to anyone an’ just prepared to go back to the orphanage. That never stopped my new family tryin’ though and one day, we put on retro clothes and drove down to this place. It was 80s night, like it is now, and my sisters who I brought today helped me skate.

“Beat it” was playing in the background and I ‘member it being the first time I smiled in years. I was wearing a tomodachi my ma brought me and had no clue what soul or funk was, but I loved it. Did a lot for my confidence and ability to be around strangers— I don’t think I’d even consider being a model if not for that experience. I’d say it affected my fashion sense too, in a good way; makes me more open to change and bold colors.

Sure my folks will be able to find me here from now on; they didn’t know where I went off to before. S’not too bad.”

POINTS

ORIGINALITY: 9/10

STORY: 10/10

EXECUTION: 9/10

STYLE: 9/10

HOLY MOLY GOOD WORK GUYS!

I just want to say, thank you for all the effort you put into every weeks prompt. Your dedication is amazing x it makes hosting this so much fun

The next prompts will be released 8pm aest 25th of June.

Thanks guys x

- Buddy

Prompt Hint:

[forthesanityofstorytellers]

OC Kiss Week - Nostalgia

Okay okay okay I know it's not OC Kiss week anymore but I wrote this and completely forgot about it okay (which is a lie, I got hit with ADHD and writer's block on day three but I'm determined to write through the rest of the promts and no one can stop me ahahahaha)

A bit early on with Becks when she was known as Becka, a PI in the 1950s with a partner (Thomas). He's the face of the operation being white and male, while she's the one that does most of the solving being about 400 years older than him and magic.

-----------------------------------------------

Becka flipped through the pages, staring at the small book spread out in front of her on the desk. Steam billowed from the kitchen, catching her attention and causing her to look up long enough to note that nothing was on fire before looking back down.

Thomas emerged, coughing and waving some of the steam away as he stumbled for a moment. “Damn!” he coughed. “Didn’t think that would happen.”

“Mm,” she said noncommittally. “Tell me again how I’m not allowed in the kitchen?”

“You’re not allowed in the kitchen,” he said, taking a towel and waving it to dispel the steam further, “because your concoctions nearly raised the dead last time.”

“That’s hardly funny,” she said, musing over a picture.

He grinned. “Funny is perspective.” He came over with another cough and checked the window before slipping it open a little and propping it up with a stick before coming over. “What’re you lookin at so intently?”

“Old clippings,” she muttered, moving aside a little to let him see. Glanced up at him.

“Our first few cases,” he said with a smile, wiping his hands on the towel before slinging it back over his shoulder. “Well…first few that the papers reported on.”

She nodded, keeping an eye on him. “Why’d you keep these?”

He shrugged. “Dunno. Seemed like a good idea at the time.” He glanced at her, his grin sliding down into a smile. “Does it…bother you? That we were in the paper?”

She shook her head and looked back down. “Not really. I don’t…quite know how to feel about it, exactly. Spent so long in the shadows, it’s strange to be in the spotlight.”

“Spotlight keeps us safe for now,” he said, tapping one of the pictures. “‘Specially after that one with the mayor.”

She snorted. “Mysterious disappearance my foot. His kid just wanted to escape for a while.”

“Good thing we convinced him to get back home before anyone found out about his…friend.”

She frowned. Looked up at him. “Was it? We told him to hide. Just like you were told. Like I was. Like we are. Why didn’t we just let him…be?”

“We needed cash,” he answered, sitting on the desk. “And to hide from a certain vampiress. Plus it…it was just the right thing for now. You know how careful some secrets need to be managed.”

She considered it for a moment. “You don’t…regret staying hidden, do you? I didn’t…”

He gave her a small smile, put a finger under her chin and turned her to face him. Finger slid away from her as they met eyes. “Miss Becka, I may regret a lot of things about my life. Meeting you has never been one of them. I don’t doubt it one bit, and I hope you never do either.” He leaned down and kissed her forehead, giving her another small smile.

Something shrill began to whistle in the kitchen and he started. “Oh damn, that’s goin off already?!” He rushed out of the room and left her with a small smile. She turned back to the little book and kept flipping through the clippings. She knew that most of the time they would take pictures of only him; a white man in the white man’s world. She didn’t mind. It was their arrangement, allowing her to move more freely and with less notice. Snoop easier.

Yet every picture he had in this book was one where the two of them were pictured together. She put her fingers against the ink and muttered, “you’re too good for me, doll. You’re just too good.”

She kept flipping as the sounds of the kitchen filled the little apartment under the office.

[voxasks]

🫐 -Hey there, why not get in on this, haha. Let's go, show me what ya got TV man- Jokes aside, I am a young woman in her 20s going to university for a psychology degree. I am very ambitous & goal oriented, even if it is sometimes very intense. To the point of hyperfixation bordering on obsession. I was going for journalism originally, but I changed majors because I didn't like how much I would have to lick the butts & shoes of yellow journalists who aren't worth my respect or time. I wanted to be part of the information side of things & keep people informed on the happenings around them. But all they do from my perspective is waste hours churning out fiction for views. If I wanted to do that, I would have pursued acting as a career, which is a hobby of mine. I like community theater a lot. It is a fun escape from everything. Something just so satisfying about putting on a show, where the moment I step out on that stage & feel those lights & eyes on me, I am no longer concerned with my problems. The mask is on & won't be off until later~! Music is my other passion. I love writing my own music and lyrics. I play the violin, piano, & guitar. I am taking singing lessons for fun too. My few friends describe me as the one they look to for honest opinions, even if it might not be something they want to hear. I am also weirdly regarded as a ball of energy. I am not a recluse, I just have intense trust issues. It is probably due to the pathetic jokes of relationships I have had, among other potential trauma inducing experiences. I love going out, just only with people I would trust my life with or myself. I am still quite introverted, but I do like the atmosphere of people having a great time & me having a good time, even if it is dancing on my own. If I feel like it, I will just make the decision to disappear for a weekend & hop back around come Monday like I didn't just drop off the planet to who knows where & do who knows what. I am used to the not so great side of life. Walking to school, seeing a dead body on the side of the road, later on seeing those infamous white lines, hahaha. What a day that was, or the time I had to hit the deck from a drive-by. You get used to that rough life than wham in a place that is weirdly sanitized and "safe." It feels like whiplash. I cope with my experiences with humor. Rather laugh than cry, you know. Psych became my interest after taking a random elective in it, & I was hooked on being able to make connections about the world & people around me. Giving me a sense of understanding some of the why's I have asked for years. I'm still learning more, too. I have some ideas that are not exactly conventional & push a few boundaries with other fields of science & ethics. Regardless, I hope to use the knowledge I am gaining to help others help themselves. I think that is a key component in life, to be able to help yourself, even if it means getting/seeking help in order to get to a place where you can do that for yourself. If that makes any sense. With all this said, enjoy your hellish morning, abysmal afternoon, explicit evening, or sinful night. Whichever it may be for you, I like to cover the bases~!

“it  feels  like  you  took  psychology  to  make  sense  of  the  things  that  has  happened  in  your  life  subconsciously.  at  least,  that’s  what  people  do  from  experience  anyway.  it  sort  of  feels  like  you  have  adhd  as  well  due  to  your  spontaneity,  being  described  as  a  ‘ball  of  energy’  and  having  many  interests,  but  hey,  i’m  far  from  being  some  lab  coat  shrink  who’s  qualified  enough  to  sit  behind  a  desk  to  rot  with  everyone  else’s  trauma.  you  want  to  stay  true  to  yourself  no  matter  what,  thus  opting  out  of  journalism  to  avoid  kissing  other  people’s  asses,  i  can  respect  that.  you  sound  ambiverted,  someone  who  struggles  to  find  the  comfortable  balance  sometimes  but  everyone  does  too.  and  hey,  a  dead  body.  must  be  a  big  deal  back  in  the  living  world,  huh?  how’ve  you  been?”

based off of the 200 follower event.

[callsignbaphomet]

Okay, like I previously said Fallout version of Angelus is wild to me.

Btw TW for heavy subjects talked about here.

I like exploring different sides to them all in different AUs and Fallout is no different. Also, like I said in a post any info on them prior to 2023 when it comes to this AU is null and void. All that info is either eliminated or retconned.

Also I'm gonna try and better the tag system for better organization. Kinda got something in mind.

Anyway, I like writing and playing this version of Angelus 'cause it let's me explore a side to Angelus that the Oracle (Oracle is the original btw) version just doesn't have.

Oracle Angelus had a rough start. He suffered every type of abuse and my fucking gods do I mean EVERY TYPE OF ABUSE from as early as 1-year-old up to 13 or 14. Pretty much a little over a decade of nonstop physical, emotional and psychological torture. He did NOT get out of that unscathed. The trauma of it all still clings to him to this day. Had he been human he would've died like at 2, if he would've survived he would've been completely deformed and disfigured. But he's a werewolf so he somehow survived. Physically he has three scares from when his abusers tried to kill him. Two of the scars are from being shot in the chest and the third one is from being stabbed through the heart with a silver dagger. He actually scared which is basically impossible for a born werewolf but because his abusers never let him consume human hearts his immune system never developed. He even got fevers from infections. Anyway, it wasn't a good time for him and because of it a lot of mental problems arouse from it. He has C-PTSD, bipolar disorder, depression, severe anxiety, the abuse exacerbated his ADHD and also caused him to develop a severe eating disorder and it's not some cute and quirky "oh ha ha i'll just pick at this salad i gotta watch my weight ha ha." No, this man legit will starve himself as punishment because if he makes a mistake he thinks he deserves to be punished. He will actually layer on clothes so Jelani doesn't notice any weight loss but Jelani is always on top of that. They constantly check in on him and help him through it. He has some good days, some bad days and some catastrophic days but regardless he tries his best. He does have his moments of unfiltered confidence and times where he's shown he's very sure of himself and shown strength.

That's why I have this appreciation for the AUs because like for example the Fallout one he didn't have a messed up upbringing. Yeah, there's the whole being sold and the transphobic grandmother thing but it didn't affect him. He's cocky as hell, doesn't really take much of anything serious, in party mode almost 24/7, he's loud, explosive, confident, loves to eat, is extroverted, not insecure at all, no mental illnesses, rowdy, little bit selfish, morally gray and ambiguous, an absolute lil shit but with a good heart and more of a leader than a follower. Fallout Angelus is the extreme opposite of Oracle Angelus and it really puts Angelus as a whole into this perspective that I otherwise wouldn't have had a chance to explore this side of him if it weren't for this AU.

I was NOT kidding when I said Fallout Jelani kind of took the role of Oracle Angelus. He was very similar to Angelus but then he was assaulted (I know I put a tw warning but this is not a word I throw around so freely given that it's super charged. Not sure if anyone actually reads any OC posts aside from Arcade but still) and you know, it was a brutal and traumatic event and not even a month later he witnessed his father "die" which made shit far worse and this is post-apocalyptic America. Where in the blue fuck is he gonna find a therapist to work that trauma out? Fallout Jelani is pretty much Oracle Angelus.

And that was covering some aspects. In terms of sexuality he's still very much gay. I think that'll be the only aspect about him that'll never change. In Oracle he was born a male but he's actually intersex (both genitals and half a uterus, it sooooooorta works), on top of that he has a bit of a feminine body. He's very androgynous looking. In Fallout he was born a female and transitioned to male. In Oracle he's strictly a bottom HOWEVER, if Jelani (he's a switch and both subs and doms) asks he will absolutely top him because he feels 100,000% safe and secure with him. In Fallout he's 100% strictly a top while Jelani is 100% strictly a bottom. And he enjoys the fuck out of dominating Jelani.

Honestly this version of him is really fun. Oracle will always be Oracle but these AUs are so fun to explore different sides to all my characters.