#and i just know he would always be an afterthought for everyone
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Always Her - Garrick Tavis x female reader
Summary: You're sick of Garrick always choosing Violet over you because Xaden says so
Warnings: angst
Words: 2K
Notes: I hope this does the request sent justice and sorry for ant typos this hasn't been proof read
Y/N’s POV
The hallways are eerily quiet as I make my way back toward the Riders’ dorms, the cold stone walls amplifying the echo of my footsteps. Shadows pool in the corners, stretching long and heavy under the faint glow of mage lights. My stomach twists as I think of the untouched meal sitting on the table in my room. It’s gone cold by now, the once-perfect plans I had for Garrick and me unraveling yet again.
He didn’t show up.
Again.
I tell myself not to be surprised. I knew this would happen. Garrick has been distant for weeks now, and every time I try to reach him, to pull him back into us, he slips further away. Still, it doesn’t stop the simmering frustration from clawing up my spine as I round the corner.
That’s when I see him.
He’s sitting on the stone floor outside Violet’s door, his broad shoulders leaning against the wall. His arms rest casually on his bent knees, but I know better. His head is tilted back just enough to suggest he’s relaxed, but the tension radiating off him tells another story. He’s on high alert even now. Watching. Guarding. Protecting.
Always her.
My steps falter, anger sparking like a match struck too close to dry kindling. I pause for a moment, staring at him in disbelief, before the sharp echo of my footsteps announces my approach. His head snaps toward me, his dark eyes narrowing at the sound. At first, his expression is unreadable, that cool, professional mask he wears so well. But the second he catches sight of my face—stormy, unyielding—his shoulders tighten.
He knows.
He knows he’s in trouble.
“You forgot, didn’t you?” My voice is sharper than I intend as I stop in front of him, my arms crossing over my chest.
His brow furrows, confusion flickering across his face. “Forgot what?”
The audacity.
“Are you serious, Garrick?” I snap, my voice rising. “The meal we planned! Weeks ago. You swore—swore—you’d make time for us, but here you are. Again. Camped outside Violet’s room like some guard dog.”
His jaw tightens as he pushes to his feet, the movement slow and deliberate. He towers over me, his height imposing in the dim corridor, but I don’t back down.
“I’m following orders,” he says evenly, though the edge in his voice betrays his irritation. “Xaden asked me to—”
“I don’t care what Xaden asked you to do!” I cut him off, my voice breaking with frustration. The words spill out faster than I can stop them, raw and unfiltered. “You’re so focused on her that you don’t even see what you’re doing to me! To us!”
“This isn’t about you,” he says firmly, his hands flexing at his sides like he’s trying to rein himself in.
I laugh, bitter and sharp, the sound echoing between us like a slap. “Isn’t it? Because it sure as hell feels like it’s about me when I’m constantly being pushed aside. Do you even realise how much you’ve been ignoring me? Or is Violet’s safety just more important than the promises you made to me?”
His eyes darken, frustration flashing like lightning across his face. “This is bigger than you and me,” he says, his voice rising slightly. “Violet’s not safe. Not after what happened to Liam. She needs someone looking out for her.”
“And that someone has to be you?” I step closer, my voice trembling with barely-contained anger. “Every second of every day? She’s not a helpless child, Garrick. She doesn’t need you to hold her hand and tuck her in at night!”
“You don’t understand,” he growls, his composure slipping.
“No, I do understand,” I snap, my fists clenching at my sides. “You think it’s your duty to carry everyone else’s burdens, to play the hero, and you don’t care who you hurt in the process. But guess what? I’m done being an afterthought. I’m done being the one left behind while you break every promise you’ve made to me.”
The air between us feels like it might shatter under the weight of my words. His mouth opens as if he wants to say something, but no sound comes out. For a moment, the only thing I can hear is my own ragged breathing.
I shake my head, my chest aching from the effort of holding back tears. “Forget it,” I whisper, the words hollow and final. Turning on my heel, I force my legs to move before he can stop me.
“Y/N,” Garrick calls after me, his voice rough and pleading.
I falter for the briefest of moments, but I don’t stop. Not this time.
Let him sit with the emptiness I’ve felt for weeks. Let him wonder what it means to be left behind.
By the time I reach my room, my vision blurs with tears. The weight in my chest feels unbearable, pressing down on me until I can barely breathe. I slam the door behind me, the sound echoing in the hollow silence, and collapse onto the floor. My hands shake as they press against my face, desperate to contain the flood of sobs I’ve been holding back for far too long. But the dam breaks anyway.
The tears come in heavy, wracking waves, each one a testament to the hurt and frustration that’s been building inside me. I clutch my knees to my chest, feeling as though the walls are closing in.
I don’t know how long I sit there, trembling and broken, before there’s a hesitant knock at the door. The sound barely registers through the storm of my emotions. I don’t answer. I can’t.
The knock comes again, softer this time, but I remain frozen. A moment later, the door creaks open. My heart stutters, but I keep my face buried in my hands. I don’t need to look to know who it is—I can feel his presence like a pulse in the air.
“Y/N.” Garrick’s voice is low and raw, his tone steeped in regret. “I’m sorry.”
I don’t respond. The effort to speak feels insurmountable. Instead, I stay hunched over, my shoulders shaking with the force of my grief.
He steps inside, his movements careful, almost hesitant. The door clicks shut behind him, sealing us in the same space, though the chasm between us feels immeasurable.
Garrick kneels in front of me, close enough that I can feel the heat radiating off him. His hands hover in the air, uncertain. “I screwed up,” he says, his voice thick with emotion. “I know I did.”
His words hit a nerve, but I keep my head down, my tears falling freely.
“I’ve been so focused on protecting Violet,” he continues, each word weighted with guilt. “So caught up in trying to do the right thing for everyone else, that I stopped seeing what it was costing me. What it was costing us. And I hate that I’ve made you feel this way.”
His words are a balm and a fresh wound all at once. They dig deep, unearthing the raw ache inside me. “Do you even care, Garrick?” I whisper, my voice trembling. “Or am I just… another thing on your list of priorities?”
He inhales sharply, his hands finally settling gently on mine. His touch is warm, grounding, but it’s not enough to ease the ache in my chest.
“I care,” he says firmly, his voice steady despite the crack I can hear beneath it. “More than anything. You’re not just a priority—you’re everything to me. And I hate that I’ve made you feel otherwise.”
I lift my head then, my tear-streaked face meeting his. His storm-gray eyes are wide, almost frantic, as though he’s afraid I might disappear right in front of him.
“You can’t just say that, Garrick,” I choke out, my throat raw. “You have to prove it. I can’t keep doing this if I’m always going to come second.”
“I will prove it,” he says, his gaze unwavering. His fingers tighten around mine, a silent plea. “I’ll make this right. I don’t know how yet, but I will. I can’t lose you, Y/N. Not over this.”
The desperation in his voice gives me pause. I search his face, trying to decipher the truth in his words. His usual stoic mask is gone, replaced by an unguarded vulnerability that cuts through my defences.
“Okay,” I whisper after what feels like an eternity. “But this is your last chance, Garrick. Don’t make me regret it.”
Relief floods his expression, and before I can say anything else, he pulls me into his arms. His embrace is fierce, almost crushing, like he’s afraid I’ll slip through his fingers. I let him hold me, my cheek pressed against his chest, listening to the unsteady rhythm of his heartbeat.
“I don’t want you to think I don’t care,” he murmurs into my hair, his voice quieter now, almost broken. “Because I do, Y/N. More than I’ve ever cared about anyone.”
I pull back just enough to meet his gaze again, my hands still clutching the front of his shirt. His eyes are searching mine, filled with something raw and desperate, something that looks like it’s tearing him apart.
“Then why do you make it so damn hard to believe that?” I ask, my voice soft but no less cutting.
His jaw tightens, and for a moment, he looks away, as if he can’t bear the weight of my stare. “Because I don’t know how to balance it all,” he admits, his voice heavy with self-loathing. “I’ve always been the one who follows orders, who puts the mission first. And now… now I’m trying to figure out how to be the guy who puts you first, too. But I’m screwing it up.”
“You are,” I say bluntly, though there’s no venom in my voice anymore. “And it’s not just about Violet or Xaden. It’s about you deciding that what I need isn’t as important as what everyone else needs. That’s what hurts the most, Garrick. Feeling like I’m not worth the effort.”
His throat works as he swallows hard, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. “You’re right,” he says quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. “You deserve better than that. You deserve better than me. But if you’ll let me, I swear I’ll spend the rest of my life proving to you that you’re the most important thing in my world.”
The sincerity in his voice sends a shiver down my spine. My walls begin to crumble, brick by fragile brick, as I let myself hope.
“Words are easy, Garrick,” I say, my voice trembling. “Actions are harder. And I need to see that you mean it. I need more than promises right now.”
“I know,” he says, his hands cupping my face with a tenderness that steals my breath. “I’ll show you. I swear I’ll show you.”
Before I can respond, he leans in, his lips capturing mine in a kiss that is anything but gentle. It’s desperate and raw, filled with all the things he’s been unable to say. For a moment, I freeze, overwhelmed by the intensity of it. But then I melt into him, my hands fisting his shirt as I pour everything I’m feeling—hurt, love, anger, and hope—into that one moment.
When we finally break apart, we’re both gasping for air, our foreheads resting together.
“I love you,” he whispers, his voice steady despite the vulnerability in his eyes.
My heart stutters, and for a moment, I can’t speak. But then I let out a shaky breath, a small, tentative smile tugging at my lips. “I love you too, Garrick,” I whisper. “But you need to stop breaking my heart.”
“I will,” he promises, his lips brushing softly against my forehead. “I’ll prove it to you. Every day. For as long as you’ll let me.”
For the first time in a long time, I feel something like hope flicker to life in my chest. It’s fragile, uncertain, but it’s there.
And for now, that’s enough.
Fourth Wing Masterlist TAG LIST - updated 12th Oct 2024
#Garrick Tavis#garrick tavis x reader#Garrick Tavis x you#Garrick Tavis x y/n#Garrick Tavis fourth wing#fourth wing#fourth wing imagine#Garrick Tavis imagine#Garrick Tavis fluff#Garrick Tavis angst#Garrick Tavis smut#Garrick fourth wing#fourth wing Garrick Tavis#fourth wing x you#fourth wing x y/n#fourth wing fluff#fourth wing smut#fourth wing angst
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I'm so fucking tired of everything
Of this stuck loop I've been into since the pandemic started (but more with my current job since June 2021)
It's like a monotonous and neurosis inducing limbo in which I'm further stuck with the toxic cycle of depression-substance abuse-possible adhd and it's do hard to get out
Taking slow and size varying steps but it's not enough
It's becoming worse lately, I can barely tolerate the people I live with. There's nothing I wish more than to have my own place just me and my dog, and no one else, at least for quite a while (except for more animals ofc, the only ones who truly brighten a home without ever giving you bitter moments). Which is hard becos gentrification and still doable ofc but it'd be like a medium-term goal (especially cos I'm not sharing).
Also I've been more aware cos lately I'm exclusively smoking hashish (except for this weekend, and yeah, definitely putting regular consumption of weed aside for some time, for this and other [dysmorphia/dysphoria/ed] related reasons) and yeah no.
And it's kinda messy and got it sorted in my head but the people around me don't respect me (and for the most part I don't care except it shows in certain interactions that have been irritating me A LOT lately) and like don't expect anything from me but some of them are also kind of disappointed in very this passive aggressive and cunty way. And I hate it and I been hating interacting with them (which isn't that often but even the shortest interactions with most of them are enough for me to feel annoyed for a while) and I can't even complain cos they'd be like tf u on? Y u overreacting? So sensitive must be the drugs and again the scenario where everyone is allowed to be angry and call people out be assertive and be emotional except fucking me (apparently is related to the cancer Mars curse, that horrendous and useless placement)
And I just wish my domestic life wasn't this stressful and because I'm a body freak I got all my reactions and ticks in check and so my body has to find ways to let out the stress (even though I work out every day sometimes quite intensely) also this is where weed usually came in but again had been giving me headaches lately plus the binge eating and yeah the smell cos paranoia and again the cycle
I feel so trapped and I feel so stuck
And I just wish I could just one day wake up and being a workaholic and get out from here
#personal#super long rant l#and like obviously i got plans and ideas#which i hate to announce becos usually they get ruined for telling others#but that also makes it seem like immot doing anything#and i just sighs#also tonight really feeling that death wish but atm the moment don't really feel like killing myself#came across a cautionary story some months ago and...yeah no#but god the deathwish is strong ngl#but then i also think of my dog (always my dog)#and i just know he would always be an afterthought for everyone#and no one would put up with all the special care his meds and baths and everything he needs#i hope that least he can live his final years (he's middle aged atm) in his own place not sharing with other dogs#and me not sharing with other people#isn't that just peaceful and beautiful
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What were the reactions from the family in the original timeline where reader died?
masterlist - crack baby
if u saw alfred being mentioned .. no u didnt i forgot he was dead oopsy poopsy
soul crushing guilt.
the moon is high in the sky, and everyone's gearing up for patrol, though they can each tell that there's a strange blanket of silence around the manor.
bruce is perplexed, but it's fine -- he's probably just tired, it's probably nothing.
then he sees your lifeless body in an alley and he's fighting tears, his stomach churning as he gazes down at you -- his poor baby, lying in a pool of your own blood, your eyes glazed over, lifeless.
when jason died, he vowed to never let another one of his children die ever again, not like this. so why? you weren't even a vigilante, you were just.
he dives himself into work, searching for the bastards responsible for your death, when he finds them -- he'll give them a firm beating, he'll convey his anger, not as batman but as bruce wayne.
dick is absolutely devasted, he can't bring himself to look at your body, his poor baby. you must've felt soso alone, scared as you bleed out. he wishes he could've spent more time with you, wishes that he took you out for dinner that one time. he buries himself in hero work, much like bruce, trying to distract himself -- but it doesn't work! everything reminds him of you. he wishes he could've seen you smile so widely at him, just one more time.
jason, on the other hand, doesn't try to distract himself. he reaches forward and searches for the murderes with a deep sense of rage. he understands you, he does! he knows what it feels like to be neglected, forgotten -- pushed aside as an afterthought as bruce pushes in another sibling in a place that should've been yours, you could've opened up to him, he could've looked back at you. he feels a burning hot rage, an itch for revenge -- but beneath his anger is a deep sense of vulnerability. of the knowledge that he failed you, his precious sibling. he doesn't think he can forgive himself.
tim doesn't believe it at first. you got shot on your way home from work? what a silly joke. and then he takes in the sullen expression on bruce's face and he faced with a deep sense of hopelessness. how .. unexpected. he doesn't know how to move on, you didn't play an intengral role in his life but as the days pass he's acutely aware of the small things you did that affected him, the way you would boil water before you went to bed for him, or how you'd leave some painkillers on the counter -- all those small things that seemed to meaningless to him, he's forced to acknowledge his own shortcomings as your brother. he doesn't know how to move on, he doesn't want to move on.
damian, poor damian, he's crushed. you're dead? you? his older sibling? sure, he may have bullied you since the moment you stepped into the manor, not once did he show you positive affection. but he cares for you! in his own, twisted way! he's faced with crushing guilt, unable to look in the mirror without seeing you -- without seeing the resigned expression on your lifeless face. he always knew you were weak, but dying to a few bullets? that's--.. he can't bring himself to belittle you, not anymore, not with the suffocating guilt he's forced to face.
they have no memories of you, aside from the small child you were, shyly observing from afar -- to the lifeless body you are now. they scavange for every picture they could find, anything they can to remember you by!
if only they had a chance to redo it, to show you just how much you mean to them. :(
#platonic yandere batfam#batman x reader#dc fanfiction#bruce wayne x reader#jason todd x reader#tim drake x reader#nightwing x reader#dick grayson x reader#yandere batfam#yandere batfamily#platonic dick grayson x reader#platonic batfam#platonic yandere#yandere batman#yandere bruce wayne#yandere dick grayson#yandere jason todd#yandere tim drake#yandere damian x reader
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I am BARELY resisting going full red-strings-corkboard on this season. And by barely resisting I mean not resisting at all here is an extremely long list of the events those pins would be marking out.
BigB getting a Task that was a different color than everyone else's. It's not just a randomly assigned Hard Task, bc Scar rerolled for a Hard Task and his was also just a white envelope. It's fundamentally different.
That task taking BigB away from socialization, and seemingly being an incredibly time-consuming and dull request. Of profound disinterest to any watchers.
The phrasing of his Task!!
Dig a big hole. All the way down. At least 3x3. Make it your base if you want.
Everyone else's are direct and formal - the only one with more than one sentence was Skizz's, with the rule clarification of "One attempt only." Bigb's Task is four short abrupt sentences. It is also the only Task to contain extraneous information, 'Make it your base if you want.' The requirements (at least 3x3) feel like an afterthought to mimic the numerical/specific demands of the other tasks.
Evo symbol on the face of the Secret Keeper statue.
The fact that there's a statue at all; the fact that there is a physical representation of what is assigning tasks that everyone must complete, when previously everything was always handled via commands and unseen RNG.
Grian talking to the statue, and (bc of his Actual Role as game organizer) acting as a mediator for the impartial decisions handed down, speaking for it.
Grian making one last bad joke and saying he doesn't know if it counted or not- depends on whether we the audience laughed.
Grian asking for task recommendations from the audience. The watchers are making the tasks. The Watchers are making the tasks.
Again I could be off-base, and I'm not usually even that smitten with bringing in Evo lore. I don't want a Big Bad really...but. It feels like something very unusual and intentional and cool is happening in this series. And I'd guess we'll know if theres something going on once we have more than one data point.
My largely unfounded suspicion is that there is another being (maybe Listeners, maybe something else) trying to reach out to the Players via decoy Tasks, and BigB was the first recipient. Get them alone, make them of disinterest to the watchers, and tell them something we don't get to know.
Because that's the really, really fucking cool part (if my wacky theory is remotely right): We're the bad guys. We're the ones giving out tasks - hell, we're the ones actively brainstorming harder and crueller tasks in Grian's comments!
If they actually made a story where the Players have to keep secrets from us I will be delighted. Bc that is the same genius bullshit that made Evo Watcher lore so fun
#secret life#slsmp#life series#grian#secret life smp#bigb#i think im starting to get the shape of the conceit#this could all be nonsense of course. i may be completely off base and nothing will happen and it's just a normal life series#but it feels like there's something Larger happening here#anyways. will keep thinking and mulling this over and collecting scraps of evidence#secret life spoilers#slsmp spoilers#spoilers#salem meta#salem tag#im so enriched. i love being wrong about stories
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𝓢AFE IN 𝓨OUR 𝓐RMS !
pairing : bucky barnes x fem!reader warnings : angst, hurt / comfort, heavy insecurities, reader lowk takes a beating, kidnapping, fluff, reader’s insecurities stem from natasha, happy ending wc : 4.9k a/n : writing this felt like a fever dream i’ve literally never written anything so quick
you tried not to think about it too much, really, you did. but it was hard not to notice the way natasha lit up a room just by walking into it, the effortless confidence she wore like a second skin. she was a force of nature, all sharp edges and deadly grace, the kind of woman who turned heads wherever she went. and then there was you - stumbling over your words, always feeling like you were playing catch-up, never quite able to shake the feeling that you were a few steps behind everyone else.
natasha was everything you weren’t, and on some days, it felt like she was everything bucky could ever want. they had a bond that went back decades, something forged in blood and shadows, a history that was impossible to compete with. you knew they were just friends, but that didn’t stop the creeping insecurities that gnawed at you whenever you saw them together. the way bucky would smile, a rare, genuine smile, when she cracked a joke, or the way he’d lean in close to whisper something that made her laugh.
you tried to tell yourself it didn’t matter. after all, bucky was with you, not her. he chose you. but there were days when that choice felt like a fluke, like you were just a placeholder for someone better. it didn’t help that natasha seemed to be everywhere - on missions, during training sessions, even at casual gatherings at the compound. she was a constant reminder of everything you felt you could never be.
and bucky, sweet as he was, had no idea. he was the kind of man who wore his heart on his sleeve, at least when it came to you. he was always looking out for you, making sure you were okay, doing his best to squash any fears you had before they could take root.
“hey, stop that,” he’d say whenever he caught you staring at your reflection, tugging at your clothes like you could somehow reshape yourself into someone you weren’t. he’d come up behind you, wrapping those strong arms around your waist and pressing a kiss to your shoulder. “you’re perfect. just as you are.”
and for a while, you’d believe him. it was hard not to when he was looking at you like you hung the moon, like you were the only thing in his world that made sense. he’d pepper kisses along your jawline, whispering sweet nothings until you were giggling and squirming in his hold, your insecurities momentarily forgotten.
but lately, those moments were fewer and farther between. bucky was busy, always being pulled in a dozen different directions with missions and briefings and god knows what else. you tried to be understanding, tried not to let it bother you when he’d come home late, exhausted and distracted, his mind still miles away even when he was sitting right next to you.
“sorry, doll,” he’d mutter, brushing a kiss to your forehead before disappearing into the shower or falling face-first into bed. “it’s just been a long day.”
you knew it wasn’t his fault. he was doing his best, trying to balance everything. but it was hard not to feel like you were slipping through the cracks, like you were becoming an afterthought in his increasingly chaotic life. the doubts, once small and manageable, were growing louder, harder to ignore.
and then there were the whispers.
it started small, just the occasional passing comment from the other agents - “nat and bucky make such a great team” or “you know, they’ve got years of history together.” you’d laugh it off, forcing a smile even as your heart twisted painfully in your chest.
but it was hard to keep the smile in place when you overheard the hushed conversations in the hallways, the ones that stopped abruptly whenever you walked by.
“i’m just saying, if i had to choose between her and natasha…”
“oh, come on, it’s not even a contest.”
“poor girl. she doesn’t stand a chance.”
you knew it was petty, letting other people’s opinions get to you. but it was like a thousand tiny cuts, each one adding to the weight already pressing down on you. you tried to talk to bucky about it once, stumbling over your words, trying to explain how you felt without sounding like you were accusing him of anything.
“it’s just… sometimes i feel like i’m not enough,” you’d confessed, your voice barely above a whisper. “like you could do better. like you deserve someone who - ”
“hey, hey, stop that,” he cut you off, his hands coming up to cradle your face, thumbs brushing away the tears you hadn’t realised were falling. “you’re more than enough, baby. you’re everything to me, okay? don’t you dare think otherwise.”
and for a moment, it helped. the way he looked at you, eyes so full of love and sincerity, made you feel like maybe, just maybe, you were worth it. but the doubts never truly went away. they were always there, lurking in the back of your mind, waiting for the next opportunity to rear their ugly heads.
the breaking point came one night after a mission. it was supposed to be a simple extraction, but things went sideways, leaving bucky and natasha stuck behind enemy lines for days. no communication, no updates - just radio silence that left you pacing the floors of your apartment, sick with worry.
when they finally made it back, bruised and exhausted but alive, you’d barely been able to hold back your tears. you’d thrown yourself into bucky’s arms, clinging to him like he was the only thing keeping you grounded.
“i’m okay, doll. we’re okay,” he kept repeating, but you couldn’t shake the image of him and natasha, side by side, fighting their way out of whatever hellhole they’d been trapped in. they made the perfect team, a well-oiled machine, and where did that leave you?
the insecurities you’d tried so hard to bury came rushing back, stronger than ever. and this time, they brought friends - ugly, vicious thoughts that whispered cruel things in the dead of night.
what if he only stayed with you out of pity? what if he wished you were more like her? what if, deep down, he regretted choosing you?
you did your best to hide it, plastering on a smile whenever bucky was around. but he could tell something was off, even if he didn’t quite know what. he tried to coax it out of you, tried to make you laugh, but it was like a wall had gone up between you, one you couldn’t seem to break down.
“are you okay?” he asked one night, his voice tinged with that soft concern that always made your heart ache. “you’ve been… distant lately.”
“i’m fine, buck.” you lied, avoiding his gaze. “just tired.”
“you’ve been tired a lot lately,” he pointed out, his brow furrowing. “you know you can talk to me, right?”
“yeah, i know,” you muttered, forcing a smile. “i’m good, buck. promise.”
he didn’t look convinced, but he let it go, pressing a kiss to your forehead before pulling you into his arms. you curled into his chest, inhaling the familiar scent of him, but it did little to soothe the storm raging inside you.
you wanted to tell him, to pour out all the fears that were eating you alive. but what good would it do? it would only make you seem clingy, needy, and the last thing you wanted was to drive him away.
so you kept it all locked up, burying the insecurities deeper until they were practically choking you. and that’s when the nightmares started - vivid, gut-wrenching dreams of bucky walking away, of him choosing natasha over you, leaving you in the dust without a second glance.
you’d wake up gasping, tears streaming down your face, but you never told him. you couldn’t bear the thought of him thinking you were weak, that you were doubting him.
but the cracks were starting to show, no matter how hard you tried to hide them. bucky could see it in your eyes, hear it in your voice, but he didn’t know how to fix it. he just held you tighter, kissed you longer, hoping it would be enough to chase away whatever demons were haunting you.
but it wasn’t enough. not this time.
it happened on a friday, the kind of day that started off unremarkable and ended with everything falling apart. you’d been looking forward to a quiet evening at home, maybe ordering takeout and curling up with a good book while waiting for bucky to come back from his latest mission. he’d promised it was a quick one, nothing too dangerous, just an intel-gathering job that would have him back before midnight.
you should have known better. things rarely went according to plan when it came to the avengers’ line of work. but you’d let yourself relax, lulled into a false sense of security by the thought of a quiet night in. you were in the middle of deciding between thai or pizza when it all went wrong.
the first sign was the knock at your door. you weren’t expecting anyone, but you figured it might be one of the neighbors, maybe asking to borrow something or returning the package that got delivered to their apartment by mistake. you didn’t think twice before unlocking it, didn’t even look through the peephole.
big mistake.
the door burst open, slamming into you with enough force to knock the breath from your lungs. you stumbled back, dazed, and that’s when you saw them - three men, all dressed in black tactical gear, their faces hidden behind masks. panic flared in your chest, but before you could even think to scream, one of them was on you, clamping a hand over your mouth while the other pinned your arms to your sides.
you fought, kicking and writhing, but it was no use. they were bigger, stronger, and they had the element of surprise on their side. something cold and metal pressed against your neck - a needle. you barely registered the sting before everything went dark.
when you came to, your head was pounding, your mouth dry as sandpaper. it took a moment for the world to come into focus, and when it did, you wished it hadn’t. you were in a dimly lit room, concrete walls and a single flickering bulb overhead. the air was damp and musty, the scent of mildew making your stomach churn.
your wrists were bound behind you, ropes digging into your skin, and your ankles were similarly tied to the legs of the chair you were sitting in. every part of you ached, from the bruises forming on your ribs to the throbbing in your temples. you blinked against the haze, trying to remember how you’d gotten here, but it all came flooding back in bits and pieces - the masked men, the needle, the suffocating darkness.
“look who’s finally awake.”
the voice was cold, mocking, and it sent a shiver down your spine. you turned your head to see one of your captors leaning against the far wall, arms crossed over his chest. he was tall, built like a tank, with a scar running down the side of his face. behind him, another man paced back and forth, the metallic clink of his boots echoing in the small space.
“who are you?” you managed to croak out, your throat raw.
the man ignored your question, pushing off the wall and sauntering over to you. “you know, this could’ve been a lot easier,” he said, crouching down so he was eye level with you. “we didn’t want to take you. we were after someone else. but i guess you’ll have to do.”
your heart skipped a beat. “what are you talking about?”
“we wanted the winter soldier,” he replied, his grin widening. “but he’s gotten soft. too many friends, too many ties. makes it hard to get to him. so we figured, why not take someone he cares about? see if that old killer instinct kicks back in.”
fear lanced through you, sharp and sudden. they were using you as bait. your mind raced, a thousand horrible scenarios flashing before your eyes. bucky would come for you, of course he would. but the thought of him turning back into the winter soldier, of all that progress undone because of you - it was almost too much to bear.
“he won’t come,” you said, hoping your voice sounded steadier than you felt. “you’re wasting your time.”
but the man just laughed, like you’d told the funniest joke he’d ever heard. “oh, sweetheart, i think we both know that’s not true. but just in case… let’s give him a little motivation.”
without warning, he swung his fist into your side, hard enough to knock the wind out of you. pain exploded in your ribs, and you bit down on your lip to stifle a cry. you wouldn’t give them the satisfaction. but the hits kept coming, each one worse than the last, until you were gasping for breath, stars dancing in your vision.
“you really think he cares?” the other man sneered, circling you like a predator. “if he did, he’d be here by now. maybe we should’ve taken the black widow instead. bet he’d come running for her.”
the words cut deep, reopening the wounds you’d tried so hard to close. you knew it was a lie, just another tactic to break you, but it still stung. the doubts you’d buried resurfaced, louder and crueller than ever. what if they were right? what if bucky didn’t care as much as you thought? what if he was already too late?
you closed your eyes, trying to block out their taunts, but the darkness was worse. it was like being trapped in your own mind, the insecurities feeding off the pain, growing stronger with every second that ticked by.
“face it,” the man whispered in your ear, his breath hot and rancid. “you’re just a means to an end. he’s not coming for you. no one is.”
meanwhile, miles away, bucky was losing his mind. he’d known something was wrong the moment he’d come back to the apartment and found the door ajar, the lock busted. his heart had dropped into his stomach, a cold dread settling over him as he stepped inside, calling your name.
but there was no answer, just the eerie silence of an empty home. the place was in disarray - furniture overturned, shards of glass scattered across the floor, the faint scent of gunpowder lingering in the air. and then he saw it: your phone, discarded on the ground, the screen cracked.
“no, no, no,” he muttered, a sense of panic clawing at his throat. he’d grabbed the device, trying to call you, but it went straight to voicemail. every second that passed felt like an eternity, the fear tightening around his chest like a vise.
he didn’t waste any time. within minutes, he was on the phone with sam, his voice raw and desperate as he explained what had happened. “she’s gone, sam. they took her.”
“we’ll find her, buck,” sam had promised, his tone steady even as tension crept in. “we’ll get her back.”
but bucky was already on the move, the old instincts kicking in as he pulled every string, called in every favour he had. he tore through the city like a man possessed, following every lead, every whisper, but it was like chasing shadows.
“dammit!” he snarled, slamming his fist into the dashboard of his car, the metal denting under the force. he could feel himself slipping, the old rage bubbling up, threatening to consume him. but he couldn’t afford to lose control. not now. not when you were counting on him.
he had to find you. he had to get to you before it was too late.
you didn’t know how long you’d been there, time blurring into a painful haze of darkness and agony. every inch of you hurt, from the bruises blooming across your skin to the raw, chafed skin around your wrists where you’d tried to pull free. the taunts never stopped, a constant barrage of words designed to break you down, to make you doubt everything.
“he’s forgotten about you,” one of the men said, a cruel smile playing on his lips. “he’s probably with the redhead right now. why would he bother with damaged goods like you?”
you were so tired, so damn tired. every bone in your body ached, and it was getting harder to stay awake, to keep fighting. but you couldn’t give up, not yet. because somewhere, deep down, you still believed in him. you still believed he’d come.
and then, just when you were starting to think you’d never see him again, you heard it - a distant crash, followed by the unmistakable sound of gunfire. hope, fragile and fleeting, sparked in your chest. you struggled to lift your head, blinking against the pain.
“bucky…?”
the world around you was a blur of pain and exhaustion, your captors’ cruel words echoing in your mind like a broken record. the room was spinning, the edges of your vision growing dark as your strength waned. you weren’t sure how much longer you could hold on, the fight draining out of you with each passing second.
but then - there was a sound. faint at first, barely audible over the blood rushing in your ears, but it grew louder, more distinct. the unmistakable roar of gunfire, the heavy thud of boots against concrete. something inside you stirred, a flicker of hope that you hadn’t felt in what felt like a lifetime.
“bucky…” you whispered, the name slipping from your cracked lips like a prayer.
the door to the room you were trapped in exploded inward with a deafening crash, sending shards of wood flying. you flinched, your heart lurching in your chest, but then you saw him - bucky barnes, standing there like an angel, his face a mask of fury.
his blue eyes were wild, searching, locking onto yours the moment he saw you slumped in the chair. “baby,” he breathed, his voice breaking on the single word. he was at your side in an instant, his metal arm slicing through the ropes that bound you, freeing you from your restraints.
you tried to speak, tried to reach out to him, but your body was too weak, too battered. your vision blurred, and you swayed, only for bucky to catch you, pulling you into his arms with a gentleness that contrasted sharply with the violence still crackling in the air around him.
“i’m here, i’ve got you,” he murmured, his voice rough with emotion. he cradled your face in his hands, his thumb brushing over the bruise blooming on your cheek, his touch achingly tender. “look at me, sweetheart. open those pretty eyes for me, okay?”
you tried, but everything hurt. every inch of you was screaming in pain, your body barely holding itself together after the relentless beating you’d endured.
“they - they said…” you choked out, tears spilling down your cheeks. “they said you wouldn’t come… that you’d never come for me like you would for natasha.”
the words shattered something in bucky, his jaw clenching, his eyes darkening with a pain that matched your own. “don’t you ever think that,” he said fiercely, his voice a low growl. “you are everything to me. no one - no one - comes close to what you mean to me.”
you wanted to believe him, but the doubts still lingered, the echoes of your captors’ taunts ringing in your ears. they’d broken something inside you, something that bucky was desperately trying to piece back together with every gentle touch, every whispered word.
he pressed his forehead against yours, his breath warm against your skin. “i’m sorry it took me so long,” he whispered, his voice cracking. “i was tearing this city apart looking for you. i’m so fuckin�� sorry, baby.”
but there was no more time for words, not when the sound of approaching footsteps signalled the arrival of more enemies. bucky’s eyes hardened, the winter soldier slipping into place as he gently laid you down on the floor, his touch lingering as if he couldn’t bear to let you go.
“stay here, okay? just for a minute,” he said, his voice steady now, controlled. “i’m gonna take care of this.”
you nodded weakly, your body trembling as you watched him stand, turning to face the oncoming threat. he was a force of nature, moving with a deadly grace that took your breath away, every movement precise and lethal.
you tried to stay awake, tried to focus on the sight of him, but your body was shutting down, the pain too much to bear. you could hear the sounds of battle, the screams and gunfire, but it all felt distant, like a dream you couldn’t quite grasp.
when you came to again, it was quiet. the kind of quiet that felt heavy, like the world was holding its breath. you blinked, your vision clearing slowly, and the first thing you saw was bucky kneeling beside you, his face streaked with blood and sweat.
“you’re okay,” he murmured, his voice soft, soothing. “you’re safe now.”
you tried to sit up, but a wave of dizziness hit you, and bucky was there, his arms steady around you, holding you close. “easy, easy,” he said, his hand gently brushing through your hair. “i’ve got you.”
you leaned into him, your body shaking, and for a moment, all you could do was breathe him in, the familiar scent of leather and metal grounding you in a way nothing else could.
“you came for me,” you whispered, your voice barely more than a breath.
“of course i did,” he said, his voice fierce and raw. “i’ll always come for you.”
but even as he held you, you couldn’t shake the lingering doubts, the fears that had taken root deep inside you. “why?” you asked, the question slipping out before you could stop it. “why would you… when you could have natasha? she’s… she’s perfect, bucky. she’s everything i’m not.”
his grip tightened on you, his hands trembling slightly. “don’t say that,” he said, his voice low and desperate. “you’re not a consolation prize. you’re not second to anyone. nat’s a good friend, but she’s not you. no one could ever be you.”
the tears came then, hot and fast, and you couldn’t stop them, couldn’t stop the flood of emotions that had been building inside you for what felt like forever. bucky held you through it, his arms strong and steady, his whispers a lifeline in the darkness.
“i’m sorry,” you sobbed, your hands clutching at his shirt, desperate for something solid, something real. “i’m so sorry, bucky.”
he shook his head, pressing a kiss to your forehead, your temple, your cheek, like he couldn’t stop himself. “no, baby, you have nothing to be sorry for,” he said, his voice rough with emotion. “i’m the one who’s sorry. i should have done more to make you feel safe, to make you feel loved.”
you pulled back slightly, just enough to look at him, to really see him, and what you saw there took your breath away. it was love, pure and unfiltered, shining in his blue eyes, his gaze locked on you like you were the only thing that mattered.
“you… you really mean that?” you asked, your voice barely a whisper.
“damn right, i do,” he said, his lips curving into a small, soft smile. “you’re everything to me. nothing and no one could ever change that.”
he kissed you then, slow and gentle, like he was trying to pour every unspoken word, every promise, into that kiss. and for the first time in what felt like forever, the doubts started to fade, the fears quieting into nothingness.
bucky didn’t leave your side after that, not even for a moment. he carried you out of that hellhole, his arms strong and sure around you, and when you were finally safe, finally back in the comfort of your shared apartment, he stayed with you, tending to your wounds with a tenderness that made your heart ache.
“i’m not letting you out of my sight again,” he said, his voice low and fierce as he wrapped a bandage around your wrist. “not ever.”
“i think i’d be okay with that,” you whispered, a small smile tugging at your lips.
he looked up at you then, his eyes softening, and for the first time in days, you felt a flicker of warmth, of hope. “i love you,” he said, the words slipping out like a confession, like something he’d been holding back for far too long.
your breath hitched, tears welling in your eyes. “i love you too, bucky,” you whispered, reaching out to cup his cheek. “i always have.”
he kissed you again, soft and sweet, and for the first time in what felt like forever, everything was okay. because you had him, and he had you, and that was all that mattered.
🌀 two weeks later…
the rain outside was a gentle lull, a soft patter against the windows that filled the quiet of your shared bedroom. the storm had come out of nowhere, blanketing the city in a soft gray, but inside, wrapped up in bucky's arms, everything was warm and bright.
you were lying on his chest, your fingers tracing absent patterns over the smooth lines of his metal arm, marvelling at the way it glinted even in the dim light. his other arm was draped over your waist, holding you close, like he couldn’t bear the thought of letting you go even for a second.
“you know,” he murmured, his voice a low rumble that vibrated through his chest, “i don’t think i’ll ever get tired of this.”
“tired of what?” you asked, your voice soft, a little teasing.
“this,” he said, squeezing you just a bit tighter. “having you here. being able to hold you like this.”
a smile tugged at your lips, a warmth spreading through your chest that had nothing to do with the blankets cocooning you both. it was moments like this, the simple, quiet ones, that made all the darkness, all the doubts, feel like a distant memory.
“i don’t think i’ll ever get tired of it either,” you whispered, lifting your head to meet his gaze.
his eyes were that perfect shade of blue, soft and warm as they watched you, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “good,” he said, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead. “because you’re not getting rid of me anytime soon.”
you laughed, a light, breathy sound that made his smile widen, and for a moment, all you could do was stare at him, your heart so full it felt like it might burst.
there had been a time, not so long ago, when you would have doubted this, doubted him. when you would have let the fears, the insecurities, creep in and convince you that this, that he, was too good to be true. but now, lying here in his arms, it all felt so silly, so far away.
“you know,” you said softly, your fingers still tracing those gentle patterns on his arm, “i used to wonder… why you’d want me. i used to think i wasn’t enough.”
his brow furrowed, the faintest hint of sadness clouding his eyes. “don’t ever think that,” he said, his voice low and serious. “you’re more than enough for me, doll. you’re everything.”
you felt your cheeks heat up at his words, but you couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face. “i believe you,” you whispered, leaning up to kiss him, soft and slow.
he sighed into the kiss, his hand coming up to cup the back of your head, holding you there like he never wanted to let go. when you finally pulled away, he was looking at you with that same look he always did, like you were the most precious thing in his world.
“i’m glad you do,” he murmured, brushing a thumb over your cheek. “because i’m gonna spend every day proving it to you.”
“you already have,” you said, resting your forehead against his. “you always do.”
he hummed, a soft, content sound, and then he was rolling over, pulling you with him so that you were both lying on your sides, face to face.
“good,” he said, his voice a low whisper in the quiet room. “because i’m not going anywhere, sweetheart. you’re stuck with me.”
you couldn’t help the giggle that bubbled up at that, your heart feeling lighter than it had in a long time. “sounds like a dream come true,” you teased, your smile widening when he leaned in to steal another kiss.
“damn right, it is,” he said, his eyes twinkling with that playful light you loved so much.
and as he held you there, the storm raging outside but nothing but warmth and love between you, you knew that he meant it. all those old fears, those insecurities - they were nothing compared to the love he showed you, every single day, in every single way.
because this was real, he was real, and for the first time in a long time, you felt like you were exactly where you were meant to be.
🌀 bucky barnes : @notacleangirl, @v3lv3tf0x, @dugiioh, @whxtewolf, @lemoanaid
@yvespecially
taglist form linked in pinned post :3
#jay writes!#bucky barnes🎀#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes smut#sebastian stan#sebastian stan x reader#winter soldier#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky fanfic#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes masterlist#bucky barnes x you#captain america#the winter soldier#james buchanan barnes#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes fluff#sebastian stan imagine#sebastian stan smut#sebastian stan masterlist
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LIVING IN THE RUINS
minho x fem!reader. 2k words. minors dni. best friends to lovers. soft!minho. angst. fluff. jealousy. emotional hurt/comfort. smut with feelings, in a tent.
“Excuse me?”
You blink at the stranger in front of you. She seems to materialise before your eyes. You’d zoned out again and missed the attention your best friend had clearly been receiving from strangers in the crowded room. “I was wondering if I could get your number?” she asks, eyes fixed on Minho’s. She blinks quickly a few times, her long dark lashes fluttering much like your heart in your chest.
She hasn’t looked at you once despite your close proximity. You’re so close to the object of her attention in fact, your thigh brushes against Minho’s jeans under the table.
He shifts beside you, sitting up straighter in the booth. “Oh,” he says, clearly taken off guard as well. “Thank you. I mean that’s — I don’t—”
“Do you have a girlfriend?” she asks with a small tilt of her head.
“No,” Minho answers quickly, incapable of lying. His discomfort radiates off him. You’d spent years learning his emotional tells. “I mean—”
“He’s not into women,” you interrupt, finally drawing her attention to you. She blinks before her eyes drop down to your chest and back to your eyes, like she’s completely taken aback by your presence. It’s impossible, you know that logically. Still, she puts on a good performance. “Sorry,” you add.
Her lips curve into an unconvincing smile. “No worries,” she says. “The hot ones never are.”
The whole exchange is as short as it is ordinary. How many tipsy girls work up the courage to ask the pretty man across the bar for his number? You would bet money on it happening multiple times over somewhere across the planet at any given moment. It’s normal. Mundane. Still, you know it’ll chip a little more of your carefully built wall away. A chisel to stone, slow and steady. The only problem is that it’s been chipped at for years. You can feel the fragility of it these days, each chisel etch feels alot like when you’re down to the end of a game of jenga.
Any move now will cause it to crash and fall.
She hadn’t considered for a moment you might have been together — not when she’d spotted him across the room, clearly with you — and not when she’d gotten close and blatantly ignored your comfortable proximity to each other. Her question about his relationship status had been an afterthought, a possibility she hadn’t considered until faced with a response other than ‘yes’. She’d been expecting a yes.
The thought that he might be with you, might be attracted to you, was unconsidered. You wonder if she’d discussed it with her friends. ‘No,’ they might have said. ‘There’s no way he’s with her.’
Minho is quiet as the petite brunette turns on her heels and disappears back into the mass of people. His red ears give his embarrassment away.
You nudge his shoulder, rocking him out of his trance. “Hey,” you prod. “Alright?”
The smile he offers you is a little lopsided — very Minho. “Always,” he says.
—
Your annual camping trip is just like the year before. Your small group of friends sets up camp in your usual spot. Everyone climbs into their usual tents. Everyone assumes you and Minho will be sharing, as always.
You’re not sure why it hurts so much. They assume that nothing would ever happen between you. None of the other girls share a tent with a guy they aren’t dating. You’re the exception. Because Minho would never want you.
He notices your low mood later that night. The group separates in the dark to play flashlight tag and as you find yourself wandering a secluded patch of the campsite, you know he knows. His attention is on you instead of where he’s walking. You almost scream when he falls into apparent nothingness.
“I’m fine,” he quickly reassures you, pulling himself up from the ground. “Just dropped my glasses.”
“God, you scared me.”
It takes you both at least ten minutes to find them, relying purely on touch alone. It's too dark to see much at all without a light and using your phones would give your position away.
You’re grateful for the darkness when you reach up and place his frames gently on his face. It hides the heat in your cheeks when you brush chocolate brown hair behind his ears, ensuring you’ve placed them properly.
“Thank you,” he whispers, close enough that his breath warms your lips.
You’re also grateful just to be near him, you realise. Just to know him. You love him.
You love him.
It’s an earth shattering realisation to have while playing flashlight tag in the middle of nowhere. You need to escape. You can’t. You’re sharing a tent with him.
The situation isn’t helped when later in the night one of the girls with big bright eyes and a gentle smile makes a very clear move on him. You were used to it. People loved him.
You loved him.
It’s a stupid thing to cause the wall to finally crumble. It’s humiliating really. But when he laughs at something she whispers in his ear: it happens.
It falls.
You’re pathetic without it.
All you can do is hide from him, escape to the tent and pretend to be so tired you’ve fallen asleep before he can investigate. It’s not something you do. Not with Minho. He knows you so well hiding from him is just as stupid as it is pathetic. He’ll know.
Still, you can pretend. He won’t know as long as you’re unconscious. You can put it off until morning.
It takes a long time for him to fall asleep. You lie there staring at the canvas of the tent for what feels like hours, the sounds of him tossing and turning continuing for so long you almost give up.
But then he’s still. His breathing seems to even out. He’s asleep.
That’s when you let yourself cry. Quietly at first; silent aching sobs.
What a time for the wall to crumble. You wonder if you have the energy to rebuild. You’ll have to find it. The alternative is letting Minho go entirely, removing him from your life and letting the ruins erode away over a long, long time.
Not an option.
“Hey,” Minho’s soft voice calls. Shit. You wipe clumsily at your eyes and sodden cheeks. “Hey, what’s going on? What happened?” he questions as his palm rests gently against your shoulder.
You should face him. You can’t hide. You know it.
“No-thing,” you whimper, breath catching between each syllable. It’s that awful breathless kind of sobbing, the type that leaves you unable to inhale fully, let alone speak.
He rolls you over onto your back. He isn’t rough — but it’s with enough strength you’re completely unable to resist him.
“What is it?” he says again, tone much more forceful now. He isn’t letting it go. He looks down at you with wide eyes, like he’d never been asleep at all.
You shake your head.
His gentle thumbs move to your cheeks to attempt to wipe away the mess you’d left behind. He rests on one arm, leaning over you so he can give each cheek the same treatment. It’s a curious instinct, to wipe away someone's tears — like it has any effect on the person’s pain at all. It’s the best we can often do, you suppose.
“Just focus on breathing,” he says. “Just breathe.” His hand stays against your cheek, fingers resting on your neck by your ear — featherlight.
Breathing is easy, in theory. Breathing. Breathing. Breathing. His lips part to join you, guide you. His lips are still a little red from his bedtime routine, his tinted vaseline usually lasting him the entire night.
“That’s it,” he soothes when you finally manage a few steady breaths in a row. “That’s good. You’re okay.”
They’re simple words of comfort. The kind of thing anyone would say to a person in distress, but they settle something in your chest. You were okay. He was yours in a way that was more than nothing. He cared in a way that felt so genuine it was hard to be dissatisfied with the nature of it at all.
“Did something happen today?” he asks, still leaning over you. It’s a vulnerable position to be in. It mirrors how you know this conversation will go. Your wall is a crumbled mess. You have no defences against him.
“Not really.”
His eyebrows pull together.
“Nothing worth this,” you clarify.
“Tell me.”
“It’s not… It’s embarrassing.”
His lips curve in a tiny lopsided smile, just a hint of amusement. “Friends are for sharing embarrassing things with. And I’m your friend,” he says. “Aren’t I?”
You blink quickly a few times, desperate to keep your tears at bay. Then you nod weakly.
“Why do you look so miserable about it?” he says, tone light and teasing.
Your lips wobble a little as you struggle with the words attempting to burst forth. They pound and burn and demand to be set free. You lose the battle. “I love you.”
He blinks, eyes flicking across your face.
The gates are open now. You’re turned loose. “I love you so much,” you sob. “It hurts. It hurts everyday and it just keeps getting worse and I can’t—”
His lips cut you off, a warm, heart-stopping, and very much welcome interruption. He’s kissing you. He’s—
“Stop,” he mumbles against your wet, salty lips. “Stop hurting. Please.” His next kiss is unbearably soft, a brush against your upper lip. “Please,” he whispers.
You nod dumbly.
He rewards you with a collection of gentle kisses across your cheeks, replacing the remnants of your tears with the sticky wetness of his moisturised lips. You imagine the slight red marks he must leave behind.
He settles over you properly at some point. You’re too distracted by the path of his lips to notice exactly when. But then his arms are by your head, caging you under him in a way that makes you hope for the universe to halt all progression forward. This was enough; everything.
“I love you,” he whispers against your lips finally. “I’m… sorry for letting you think I don’t. I’m a coward.”
“No,” you chastise quickly as you tangle your fingers in his hair. “Don’t say shit like that.”
“I—”
“It hurts me… and you told me to stop hurting.”
His head drops to your neck… then, with a soft press of his lips to your skin, “Then I’ll never do it again.”
Every move he makes is gentle when the slow, indulgent kisses turn into exploring hands and whispered pleas for more. Each of his whisper-soft words of affection sweeps away a crumbled section of your wall, clearing the space to build something entirely new. He’s warm, so warm as his bare torso rests on yours — as he finally presses inside you and sucks a mark into your neck to join the rest he’s left. “Doesn’t hurt?” he asks, stilling as he fills you completely.
“No,” you gasp. “No, you’re… it’s—” His lips take the words from your mouth, a little messier than he’s been before. When his hips roll into yours you can’t help grasping at him like he might suddenly get up and leave — fingers tangling in his hair desperately.
“I got you,” he mumbles against your lips, heavy breaths mingling with your own. “I got you…”
When he eventually spills inside you, flooding you with more of his warmth, you’re crying again. But this time it doesn’t hurt; this time it’s a release. The tears that he kisses from your face afterwards — they wash away the rest of the rubble.
#lee know smut#lee know fluff#lee know x reader#lee know fanfic#kpop smut#stray kids smut#stray kids fluff#kpop imagines#skz smut#stray kids imagine#stray kids imagines#kpop scenarios#stray kids scenarios#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#skz imagines#stray kids fanfic#skz scenarios#minho drabbles
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Tunutu (Crush) - Neteyam x Omatikaya!reader
summary: although neteyam had never reciprocated her feelings, choosing him was always an easy decision for y/n, one of those she could make in a heartbeat. so when another man tries to win her affections, neteyam suddenly becomes aware of what he has been missing out on
wc: 7,7k
contains: childhood friends to lovers, first love/puppy love, jealousy, long-time crush
a/n: the way i completely made up everything about the vayätu-creature. sometimes i just write without a plot and although i was very excited for this idea, it was so difficult to finish it. i hope you enjoy reading it, please let me know if you do
masterlist
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
“Come on, Lo’ak, don’t take it to heart,” Kiri nudged her brother, “You know that Neteyam has been having a hard time lately, it’s not that he pushes you around on purpose.”
You emerged from behind the thick bushes, finally finding Lo’ak and Kiri sitting on a log, engrossed in a conversation. Your curiosity piqued at the mention of Neteyam.
“Why is Neteyam having a hard time?”
Kiri stiffened under your expectant gaze, but before she could even signal to Lo’ak to hold his tongue, he was already spilling out the truth. She groaned in frustration at how senseless her brother could be at times.
“Because our parents have been nagging at him to choose a mate lately.”
Neteyam must choose a mate. Your heart dropped at the statement you had been dreading to hear for years now, ever since he had first passed his Iknimaya. It was never going to be you, you were used to the thought, but nothing could have prepared for the weight of bearing it now.
“You are such a skxawng,” Kiri hissed at Lo’ak, swatting his arm. She shot you an almost apologetic glance.
“Why? It’s not like it is a secret,” Lo’ak rolled his eyes, finally drawing a connection between your sour expression and Kiri’s sudden irritation, "Neteyam has to choose a mate soon, so that the grandmother has enough time to prepare the new tsakarem. He's been putting it off for far too long."
“It is not easy to choose someone to love for a lifetime,” Kiri added with a sigh.
But it was. Choosing Neteyam was always an easy decision for you, one of those that you could make in a heartbeat. He had been your tunutu since childhood, a curious fascination with the older brother of your friends that eventually grew into a frustratingly intense crush, haunting you at every stage of your life. It was by Eywa's grace that your paths crossed with the Olo'eyktan's children when you were about six years old, learning to hunt and running through the forest together until the eclipse. On the second day of playing with Kiri and her brothers, you had boldly declared your love for Neteyam to everyone in the village, turning it into a big inside joke among the clan. If you had known that it would follow you far into your teenage years, when kids your age were relentless and cruel, you would have been more guarded about it. The guys teased Neteyam for having an admirer so clingy, it seemed as if he had grown a second tail. But no matter how much they tried to get to you with their taunts, it never seemed to bother him.
Even as a child, Neteyam had a maturity that went beyond his years. He seeked no entertainment in punishing someone for their feelings, something they cannot control. On the contrary, he admired your loyalty and dedication to him, the way you had remained his close friend, despite his gentle refusal of your romantic overtures. And so, that’s how it went. Your relationship grew stronger over the years, you learned and failed together but were always there for each other to offer a supporting shoulder. It hit a rough patch for a short period, right after both of you had completed your Iknimayas, when you tried to distance yourself from him to avoid any rumors. But Neteyam was persistent to keep your friendship, and so he did. Eventually, your feelings for him were pushed to an afterthought, as you had come to terms that Neteyam was never going to choose you. You had made peace with being just his friend, but your heart still sank at the thought that soon enough you will be replaced.
“Y/N, are you okay?” Kiri’s concerned voice caught your attention.
“Sure,” you gulped, forcing a small smile, “Lo’ak is right, it’s not like I didn’t know.”
“Right,” Lo’ak nodded hesitantly.
The siblings exchanged a knowing look. At times, your crush on Neteyam was sweet, entertaining even. But the two of them also got to live the nasty side of an unrequited love through you. Especially Kiri, who had shared the pain of knowing she couldn’t be with someone she loved, often commiserated with you in it.
“Maybe this is a sign for me to start looking too, you know? Find a mate,” your blabbered without a thought, trying to cover any traces of the stinging pain.
“Huh?” Kiri's eyebrows shot up in surprise, and she glanced at Lo'ak to see if he was as taken aback as she was. This was new.
You had never expressed the desire to find a mate before. Knowing well that Neteyam did not reciprocate your feelings and there was no point in getting your hopes up, the idea of being with somebody else appeared in your mind quite frequently, you just never voiced it. It was scary, the prospect of settling for someone you loved less, simply because there was no other choice.
Your parents had often spoken of their own bond, a relationship that began as platonic and it was only natural when they decided to choose each other for their companions. Companions, not lovers. Though your mother had assured you that once they had completed a Tsaheylu, everything changed. That the blessed bond is a connection deeper than love, one that is impossible to ignore after experiencing everything your mate had gone through. So with a heavy heart, you had to accept that one day you might have to face the same fate.
“Y/N, are you sure you’re okay?” Lo’ak stood up from his seat and walked over to you. He placed the back of his palm against your forehead, as if checking for a fever.
“I am not ill,” you chuckled, shoving him away, “I mean, I’ve known for a long time now that I’ll have to accept the advances of another man at some point. Why dwell on something I can’t have?”
It burned your throat to say the words but it was only the truth, and truth hurt. Kiri and Lo'ak agreed hesitantly with you but were still unsure if you meant it. It was as though you were convincing yourself more than them.
“Oh, Y/N…” Kiri began but Lo’ak was quick to interrupt her.
“No, don’t do that, Kiri,” he shushed his sister before she could even express how sorry she felt for you, “You’re right, Y/N. Do you have any idea how many of my friends keep asking about you? You should get out there and have some fun, I mean, Txi’pu’s practically turning purple when he sees you.”
“Txi’pu?” you questioned, “Didn’t he tame his ikran at like… twelve?” “Yes, yet the man is flustered by your mere presence,” Lo’ak chuckled, “But he seems like a cool guy, maybe you should give him a chance.”
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
“Hey, what’s that about?” Neteyam nudged his brother, staring in the direction where you sat.
The communal dinner was in full swing, right after Lo’ak had given Txi’pu the green light to approach you. You were engrossed in conversation with Kiri, as she nibbled on her food, when Txi’pu gathered up the courage to come up to you and offer you a plate of cut-up fruit.
Lo’ak followed his brother's line of sight and straightened immediately, intrigued by the interaction. He grinned in satisfaction, as he watched you shyly accept the gift.
“Txi’pu is going to ask Y/N out,” Lo’ak explained.
“Poor man,” Neteyam snorted, watching you intently, “She’s clearly not interested.”
Neteyam braced himself, eager to enjoy how you would decline Txi'pu's offer. He had seen you reject advances before with such poise and kindness that the men didn't even realize they were supposed to be offended. It was always amusing to watch. But as he saw you take Txi'pu's hand and stand up, a low growl rumbled in his throat.
“What’s happening?” he questioned with a strained voice.
“Looks like she said yes,” Lo’ak shrugged.
Neteyam shot his brother an angry glare, as if it was entirely his fault, before turning his attention back to you. He watched Txi'pu led you away from the clan, his eyes following the sway of your hips. Eventually, as the two of you disappeared from his line of sight, Neteyam clenched his fists so tightly that the pain from his nails digging into his palms went unnoticed.
He stood up abruptly, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the noise surrounding him. The fiery glow of the flames painted him in a crimson hue, adding to his already intimidating demeanor. Lo’ak frowned as he watched his brother walk away.
“Hey, where are you going?” he called out after him, but Neteyam was already gone.
That night, Neteyam laid in his hammock, unable to fall into his usual deep sleep as he gazed up at the starry sky. The distant sound of your laughter reached his ears, and he couldn't tell if it was real or just a figment of his own imagination. He had never felt this way before when you got attention from other men because you never reciprocated it. He wondered what you saw in Txi'pu. Would you be happy with a man like him?
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
The next morning, Neteyam returned later than usual from his hunt, his body tired and mind restless from the lack of sleep. As he made his way towards the communal area, his attention was immediately drawn to you, seated with his siblings, engrossed in a conversation that seemed to captivate them. Neteyam felt a surge of energy within him at the mere sight of you talking so animatedly, he couldn’t wait to join and hear what you were saying. Quietly, he slipped in between Lo’ak and Kiri, so as to not disturb you, and his heart dropped upon the realization that the topic of the gathering was your walk with Txi’pu.
“Did he take you somewhere nice afterward?” Kiri asked, grinning.
Neteyam kept his gaze trained on the ground, not wanting to appear to be invested in your babbling about the last night, yet he hung onto every word you spoke. His patience was running thin, Kiri’s tail whacking him on the back with increasing excitement as you shared more details. He clenched his jaw in annoyance.
“We went to the waterfall, the one by the cliffs,” you smiled, “It was very beautiful.”
“Oh, that’s a good spot,” Lo’ak chimed in with a mischievous grin, “Girls are always impressed when I take them there.”
“Yeah, sure, Romeo,” Kiri rolled her eyes at him.
Neteyam cleared his throat loud enough to catch your attention.
“I think it’s too cliche. The waterfall,” his voice possessed a hint of annoyance, “He clearly hadn’t put much thought into impressing you.”
“No, it totally depends on who’s taking you there,” Kiri argued.
Lo’ak intervened too, and as the two of them went back and forth about it, Neteyam’s eyes locked on yours. He studied you intensely, trying to read whatever was going on in your mind. You seemed pleased with the outcome of the last night, of the time you spent with another man. He wondered if you had truly moved on from him, and he felt a pang of guilt for secretly wishing that you hadn't. You stiffened under his penetrating gaze, sinking deeper into your seat.
"How was your hunt?" you hoped to shift the conversation away from the uncomfortable tension that had suddenly taken hold.
“Nothing special,” he shrugged, then reached for the pouch on his loincloth, taking something out of it, “Here, I brought this for you.”
Neteyam had made a sweet habit out of bringing you small treasures from his hunts. From simplest rocks to wildflowers, he always admired how you managed to turn them into something beautiful. He thought that the vibrant blue feather he found this morning would look nice braided into your hair.
You accepted it with a smile, admiring the unique pattern. And as he watched you observe it, Neteyam just couldn’t bring himself to enjoy the moment. His usually cheerful expression was clouded with gloominess. He had hoped that you would confide in him about Txi'pu's unwanted advances and ask for his help, but instead, you seemed content with the outcome of the previous night.
“Thank you, Neteyam,” you beamed at him, but he could only manage to give you a faint smile.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
Neteyam tousled the edges of his loincloth, irritation babbling in his chest, tightening so hard from within, he felt like he could snap any second now. His mother’s words, usually held dear to his heart, sounded like an annoying screech, as she went over the same topic: finding a perfect mate. Somebody on whom he could rely on when he becomes the Olo’eyktan, when the responsibilities are too much to handle. That the poor girl, whoever she is, must be prepared for her role in the upcoming few years, and that unlike Neteyam, she didn’t have her whole life to train. So he was being unfair to her by postponing the decision, leaving her no time to adjust.
His grandmother sat silently not too far, hands occupied with work, as she occasionally nodded to agree with Neytiri’s words. There was nothing new about them, it was the same lecture that has been passed down in generations through Mo’at’s lineage. She was sure that one day Neteyam would pass it down to his own children.
“Are you paying attention?” Neytiri asked again, and Neteyam had to nod to convince her that he did, though he stopped listening a long time ago, “She must be strong, resilient. It is important that you choose wisely. I believe you are mature enough not to be fooled by beauty only -”
Y/N was undeniably beautiful. Was he fooled by her appearance? By the way her hair cascaded down her shoulders, those two beaded braids, adorned with some that he had gifted her, framing her face and complementing the yellow of her eyes. By the way her body moved, like the flow of water, gentle and natural, as if every movement was planned out by Eywa herself. He couldn’t deny that sometimes his eyes lingered on her longer than a friend's should. Sometimes, even the way she sat close to him, their thighs pressed against each other and her small delicate shoulder nudging his, could make him too flustered.
“Led not only by her heart but also by her mind,” Neytiri continued.
Surely, you were smart, capable for your age. Neteyam would even dare to say that you were smarter than most of the adults he had known, probably smarter than him too. And you were kind too, with a heart so big that you willingly offered support and loyalty to him, though he had done nothing in return. If it were any other girl, she would have likely cursed him out and refused to acknowledge him for the rest of her life.
“Prepared to protect her clan and her family.”
Would Y/N be a good mate, ready to take on the responsibility of tsakarem? The thought was fleeting but heavy enough to ooze his head with delight. Neteyam took a deep breath to calm himself, feeling overwhelmed by how much the descriptions expanded to you. Neytiri paused, observing him for a moment.
“There is someone already, yes?” she asked, failing to conceal her hopeful tone.
Neteyam’s eyes snapped back to his mother, as she waited for him to answer. He could only shake his head and mutter an apology before scurrying away.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
No, it was wrong. Not after all those years of rejecting your affections, of not noticing when he crossed the lines and you didn't mind, he couldn't just swoop in now. Neteyam had struggled with this thought for many nights since the rumors of you letting Txi'pu court you began to circulate. You would tell him, right? He was your best friend, he had to be the first to know. But then again, it was probably foolish to believe what others had assumed. He had heard you say it to Lo'ak.
"I'm just taking things as they come," you shrugged, seemingly unbothered. Neteyam wished you would give him more of a reaction, so he could make some observations, "I don't think he and I are there yet."
But how could he believe it when he had seen you with Txi'pu repeatedly - the other day, the day after, and yesterday. He had noticed how you accepted the cut-up fruits from the warrior during communal dinners, held his hand, laughed with him - how it all had become somewhat of a habit. Neteyam struggled to maintain his appearances - he’d rather stay hungry than see you leave early with Txi’pu. Why him? The question knitted his eyebrows together in a deep-wrinkled frown, and he turned in his hammock once more, coaxing another annoyed whine from Lo'ak.
"Could you please stop?" his younger brother whispered, trying not to stir the rest of the family.
With sunrise approaching, it seemed unlikely to get any sleep anyway. Neteyam huffed and rose from his hammock, determined that a walk would clear his head. Maybe he was being selfish, greedy to keep you all to himself. But the idea of you being courted by someone else didn’t seem fair, especially when he had rejected everyone, every potential suitor suggested by his mother. Secretly, Neteyam wished that she would say your name, and then he would give her a sign that he wasn’t opposed to mating with you. But was it really unfair? After all, he never really gave you a chance.
His feet carried him away, making a few laps around the village. People were beginning to stir, emerging from their homes to begin their daily chores. Neteyam headed to the camp, intending to start his training early. But he stopped dead in his tracks when he heard your name.
Txi’pu and his friend were standing in front of the training hut, grinning widely and snickering about something. About someone. Neteyam hesitated to reveal himself, but his curiosity got the best of him, and he moved closer, trying to eavesdrop. The camp was beginning to get busy with the morning session, and just when Neteyam heard Txi'pu's malicious words about you, rage surged through him. In a split second, he made a decision. The rest was just as rushed, a heated fight took place between the two men.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
“You, go to Tsahik, now,” Jake ordered to Txi’pu with a scowl, then turned to you with a softened expression, “Y/N, please take care of this knucklehead,” he gestured to his son.
You nodded, hunching slightly, disappointment evident in your demeanor. You weren't sure how you felt when you first saw Neteyam on top of Txi’pu, punching him too hard for it to be considered a part of the training. Luckily, Jake was there, pulling his oldest son away from the other warrior before bigger damage was done.
“I’m sorry, sir,” Neteyam sighed.
“You do not look sorry,” Jake scoffed, “So stop with the lying, and go get cleaned up. We will talk about this later.”
Similar to Neteyam, Txi’pu refused to meet your eyes. He looked guilty, even more so than Neteyam. You wondered what had caused their fight, the thought consuming you so much that you almost missed Neteyam walking away from you. Anger began to bubble up inside you at the lack of information. It wouldn't have surprised you if it were Lo’ak, but Neteyam rarely resorted to using his fists.
“What happened?” you asked again, catching up to Neteyam.
But he only shook his head, refusing to reveal the reason. As the two of you headed into his family hut, you gently shoved him to sit down and began shuffling through his mother's baskets. You quickly settled on picking out one of the healing balms, the one that usually stung the most. You were furious. For not telling you what had happened, for getting hurt, for attacking Txi'pu; that’s not who he was. Careless, reactive.
“Just say it,” he gritted through his teeth, feeling the cut above his brow throb under your fingers, “I can feel that you’re mad at me.” "You shouldn't have attacked him like that," you replied, your voice laced with irritation. More than anything, you hated when Neteyam got hurt.
“He deserved it.”
"That's not the point," you replied sternly. "This isn't like you. You don't go around punching people."
“Why him?” his voice cut harshly through the air, his amber eyes searching yours desperately, “Out of all people, why would you give yourself to him?”
“What?” you frowned, “I didn’t.”
“Well, that’s what he’s telling everyone,” Neteyam rolled his eyes, as if he didn’t believe you. You shook your head, partly to convince him you were telling the truth, partly denying the fact that he believed somebody else over you.
How could he truly think you would do that? Knowing how much you valued the sacred bond, how could you, a woman he had grown up with and seemed to know through and through, give herself to a man with whom she had spent only a mere of two weeks. Without feelings, or even proper courting? And even if it was true, wasn’t he supposed to support you regardless of what you did? The thought stung, bringing anger into your voice.
“And what if I had given myself to him? It is none of your concern,” you snapped, pulling away from him with a sharpness that left him reeling. Your words were meant to wound, to protect Txi’pu and to strike back at Neteyam, “You had no right to attack him like that.”
“But I had,” he hissed, frustrated with how oblivious you were at reading his actions, “I have every right to make a call, when you can’t.”
“That’s not fair,” you shook your head firmly, as if denying his words, “You don’t get to act possessive over me.”
Neteyam retreated slightly. Did he reveal too much? He had always been aware of the deep-seated feeling in his chest that riled up every time he saw you but had never dared to give it a name. He couldn’t let you recognize it before he’d bring himself to confront it first.
“Do you think I did this for you? I am the future Olo’eyktan, and it is my duty as a leader and a warrior to keep skxawngs like him in tact,” he retorted, his voice dripping with venom, “I am not some lovesick puppy.”
You stared at him in bewilderment, struggling to reconcile this angry, unfamiliar version of Neteyam with the man you thought you knew like the back of your hand. His face was masked with rage, as he took it out on you for a reason that had still remained unclear. ‘Lovesick puppy,’ did he mean you?
"Got it," you spat out.You knew better than this - to trust that he wouldn’t hold your feelings for him against you one day.
“I didn’t mean to -” he regretted immediately, grasping at your hand but you yanked it away from his grip and stormed off.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
“Bro, what’s wrong with you? Dad looked like he was going to skin you,” Lo’ak plopped down next to Neteyam.
The older brother sat defeated on the cliff, feet dangling from the abrupt edge mindlessly. He stared out into the distance, the sun setting over the rainforest.
“I don’t regret it, Txi’pu is disgusting,” Neteyam spat out, anger still lingering in his voice.
“What did he do?”
Lo’ak pushed for answers, since the reason for the fight was still unknown. When the fight was broken off in front of the other warriors, Neteyam refused to voice it. He didn’t want to repeat the nasty words spoken by Txi’pu when you were there and embarrass you in front of the others, even worse, he didn’t want to hurt you. Neteyam didn’t care enough to defend himself, didn’t care for the scolding he got from his father after that. Frankly, he didn’t regret attacking Txi’pu at all, drawing blood felt good. But his father pressed, knowing exactly how to prod the words out of his oldest son. Jake decided not to intervene in the matters of your friendship then, he only advised his son to be mature and clean up his own mess.
“He was saying these things about Y/N, and I couldn’t just let it go,” Neteyam gulped, his fists clenching in anger, “He told his friends that she gave herself to him without a Tsaheylu. That after years of pining for me, he had finally ‘cured’ her... some shit like that.”
“What an asshole,” Lo’ak sighed, shaking his head.
“Yeah…”
Both brothers sat there for a moment, giving each other the space to process their conversation. The only sounds were the soft rustling of the wind through the vines and the distant calls of the banshees. Eventually, Lo’ak decided to break the silence once more.
“I’m not saying he didn’t deserve it, but you shouldn’t have caused a scene like that. You got yourself into so much trouble.”
“Lo’ak,” Neteyam turned to look at him, a little frustrated, “It was about Y/N. How could I let it slide?”
“No, I know, I agree,” his little brother was quick to raise his palms in the air to show he was still on his side, “I’m just saying, you never act like that. Maybe the jealousy got the better of you.”
“I am not jealous,” Neteyam protested, “I just can’t stand it that she chose to spend time with some asshole and then got herself hurt.”
“It’s her life, she can make her own choices,” Lo'ak placed a comforting hand on Neteyam's shoulder. He could sense that his brother was battling with something deep within himself, that the boundaries were blurring.
“But he doesn’t deserve her.”
“And you do?” Lo’ak asked, a teasing glint in his eyes.
“W-what?” Neteyam scoffed, standing up to show he was done with the conversation, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“It’s okay if it took you so long to realize. Just don’t make her wait any longer,” Lo’ak shouted after Neteyam, who was already walking away.
Neteyam's eyes widened with a sudden realization. It was as if Lo'ak's advice had struck the exact spot in his mind that had been bothering him for days, offering a simple solution to his inner turmoil. It was like medicine to his aching soul, and all he had to do was reach out and take it.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
Txi’pu's apology came quickly but lacked any genuine remorse. It was as if he had been forced into it, and by the look on his face, you suspected that he had been, most likely by Jake. The thought of the Olo’eyktan having to waste his time like that and hear about the stupid rumors was humiliating. Neteyam, on the other hand, took his time, letting you cool off, while he would figure out his feelings. Though he hadn’t suspected that the lack of his apology drew a distance between you that you were previously unfamiliar with. He’d steal glances at you during the dinners but that was it. Your best friend, the man you have been in love with, didn’t feel like a safe person anymore.
He was confused about it too. Couldn't tell if it was just his mind playing tricks on him, or if he was genuinely blind to how much he used to relish in your presence. He gazed from afar with a longing look as you sat, looking pretty as ever. Your eyebrows were knitted in a gentle frown, eyelids halfway closed, as you huffed air out of your plump lips. He couldn't help but steal another glance in your direction, as he watched your head pull back with a loud whimper, your mother's hands quickly braiding another section of your hair, gripping tightly as you struggled to keep your neck straight. It would almost make him laugh at the way you reacted to pain, if he hadn't been so distracted by how pretty you looked.
“Stop gawking,” Lo’ak nudged him with an eye roll, “Just apologize already. It’s been days.”
Neteyam shook off his distracting thoughts, but the knife he was supposed to be sharpening remained as blunt as his mind, struggling to keep up with whatever Lo'ak was saying to him.
He wished he could just go back in time and stop himself from lashing out at you, from taking his frustrations out on the one person he cared about the most. He regretted pressing on the wound in your heart that had been bleeding for him for years, hurting you in the place where it hurt the most. The distance between you two had become unbearable, but he couldn't bring himself to close it. It felt different this time. Throughout all the years of your friendship, you had never fought like this. You had always been there for each other, through thick and thin. Misunderstandings were usually quickly resolved with sincere apologies. But the venomous words that had spilled out of him due to jealousy had stung like no other, ‘I am not some lovesick puppy.’
“Lo’ak,” Neteyam’s voice quievered, “Can you talk to her for me? She might listen to you.”
“Really, dude?” Lo’ak raised an eyebrow at him, “You want me to apologize for you?”
“No, I don't want you to apologize for me,” Neteyam frowned, already getting irritated, “Just make her talk to me, please.”
“Fine, but you owe me,” Lo’ak stood up abruptly, with a huff. Neteyam’s eyes widened at his sudden movement.
“Wait, are you going right now?”
Lo'ak gave a nonchalant shrug as he glanced in your direction, still seated in front of your mother. Neteyam thought it would be too humiliating to watch his brother beg for your attention while he was right there. You would think him as pathetic, a mighty warrior afraid to approach his friend of fifteen years.
“But she’s busy,” Neteyam's voice trailed off, eyes following as Lo’ak jogged over to you.
He watched the way Lo’ak greeted your mother with respect and earned a kind smile from her. You took your time to grant him your attention, tail swishing lazily from side to side, while Lo’ak made small talk. Neteyam stiffened once your eyes landed on him with a newfound harshness. He had never seen it from you before, and he could feel his heart sink in his chest.
What was Lo’ak telling you? Neteyam strained his ears to try to catch some of the conversation, but the soft murmur of your voices made it impossible. All he could do was pray that the little shrug you gave was meant to be for him, a chance to let him explain himself.
“I will be tracking a Vayätu after the eclipse. If he wants to apologize, he can help me first,” Lo’ak relayed your message to Neteyam.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
Your ears perked up at the faint rustling sound, eyes already scanning the area, hunched over from behind the thick bushes. The mysterious spell was casted over the forest with the presence of Vayätu, a creature just as ethereal as it appeared. You felt it was near, just like Eywa, lingering somewhere in the dark. The bioluminescent shimmered over its sleek iridescent fur, concealing the creature, but the two sets of prominent yellow eyes stood out in the densest part of the forest.
Among your clan, Vayätu was one of the most valuable creations of Eywa. An animal rarely shown in the forests of Pandora, that despite its incredible speed and agility, was delicate, easy to scare away. Its only defense was disappearing into the foliage, blending with the surroundings. If a Vayätu got hurt once, it would never return to the same area.
Then there was the medicine that came with it. Deep within its long neck, the creature had a gland producing thick, viscous substance highly prized for its medicinal property, used to ease the pain for treating big wounds, or fed to women before giving birth. Retracting the liquid wasn’t harmful to the animal, similar to the way your eyes would produce tears when crying, but there was a certain routine to it. Requiring at least two hunters, one of which would hold the animal down, while the other one would gather the substance.
You stiffened immediately, hand reaching for your leather rope - a signal for Neteyam to prepare for the attack. Simple. You had done this before once, worked perfectly together, and then couldn’t stop laughing as the adrenaline rushed through your blood, jumping through the trees to hurry back home and announce your victory. But it seemed like at that moment, as he was kneeling beside you staring up at your profile, Neteyam had forgotten everything he knew. The apology, along with the confession he had been crafting carefully for days now, were ready on the tip of his tongue. He had to wait for the right moment.
Your skin was adorned with bioluminescent freckles that resembled a star constellation, just like the ones he used to stare at with his father on clear nights. Your eyes glowed softly, narrowed as if concentrating on something in the distance, and Neteyam was too distracted to pick up on it. He had seen you many times from many angles before, yet he couldn't help but be captivated by the way you tensed up, the definition of your lean, delicate arms, and the subtle rise and fall of your chest as you breathed quietly and steadily.
Neteyam was so entranced by the way your body moved that he didn't notice when you jumped forward, your form confident as you chased a shadow. His attention was quickly drawn to the two sets of yellow eyes piercing through the darkness, before disappearing in an instant. He realized that he had missed the signal to attack first.
The forest came alive with the sounds of rustling leaves and cracking branches, as you ran after the Vayätu, hot on its tail. But the extra set of legs gave the creature an advantage, it was faster, putting a prominent distance between you. Frustration bubbled within you at the realization that you were alone in the chase. Where the hell was Neteyam? You were not set for this; speed wasn’t your strength. That was Neteyam’s part, you were better at sneaking.
“Neteyam!” you called out loudly, snapping him out of his thoughts.
You pushed harder, heart racing, as you refused to let the creature out of your sight, because once you did, you would never see it again. Neteyam caught up then, quick on his feet, as he articulated through the trees. He felt guilty for getting distracted, he had to prove himself to be helpful for you.
You, you, you. You were all that filled his mind. With determination, Neteyam lunged forward, his lean muscular body fluidly navigating through the dense undergrowth of the forest. His eyes remained fixated on the Vayätu up head, never losing sight of his target as he closed in on the ethereal creature. With a sudden burst of speed, he leaped towards it, his arms outstretched as he managed to tackle it to the ground.
You were still a few paces behind, your blood pumped with adrenaline, as you watched the scene unfold. Quickly, while Neteyam was still holding the animal down, you dropped to your knees right next to them.
“Where the hell have you been?” you hissed angrily, your eyes already darting all over the trembling creature.
“I’m sorry, I got distracted,” he mumbled. You only shook your head, dismissing his apology.
Elderly often instructed young hunters to calm their prey, make them feel safe and connected to Eywa. Following their advice, you reached to gently stroke the creature’s neck, whispering soft prayers to soothe its fear. Neteyam’s gaze was glued to you, as if something intimate and intricate was happening, something that only the two of you could comprehend.
“Okay, get ready to apply more pressure,” you warned, before taking out your wooden flask, crafted out of the root of the Home Tree.
Neteyam only nodded, watching the way you worked. The creature trembled under your touch, but his grip was unyielding, letting you collect the precious liquid and gently store it away. With a pat on his arm, you signaled for him to release the animal. Neteyam leaned back, panting heavily as the Vayätu sprang to its feet, shaking its head and snorting in frustration before darting away into the darkness.
Both of you stood up and remained quiet for a moment, as he wiped away the sweat and grime clinging to his skin. You were too covered in dirt, body exhausted from the chase. Yet, the triumph took over you once the realization that you had been successful settled in. A small smile crept onto your face.
"Nice work," you spoke quietly, “Even though you almost snoozed.”
He chuckled weakly, a little embarrassed. Amber eyes scanned your face, tracing the now smudged patterns of yellow paint.
“Let’s wash off,” he offered.
The tension slipped right back in and hung heavily between the two of you, as you walked ahead, letting Neteyam trail after you. Navigating through the dark forest was easy, you had taken this way to the pond many times before. There was no need to check if Neteyam was still following, you knew he was. He wouldn’t let this opportunity slide, not after sending Lo’ak to talk to you. You weren’t going to deny it - you missed Neteyam terribly, and a part of you had hoped that the apology would be sincere enough to soothe the pain left by his words.
The water was still under the shimmering moonlight, creating a perfect mirror of its surroundings. You carefully removed your belt, ensuring that the items in the pouch didn't spill, and placed it on the ground. Neteyam followed your lead and quietly put down his weapons.
“You wanted to talk,” you began first, the harshness returning to your voice.
Sure, it was disappointing, the way things turned out with Txi’pu. You couldn’t help but pity yourself for being played by the first guy you decided to give a chance to. The thought of him holding your hand now seemed disgusting, sent shivers down your spine. But it was easy to dismiss it because for the past week, the sting left from Neteyam’s words was much worse. You wanted it to go away, desperately.
“Y/N… I am so sorry, I truly am,” Neteyam took a long breath, forcing you to look at him, “I wish I could take back everything I said.”
"Don't apologize if it's how you really feel, Neteyam," you replied, your voice catching in your throat. "I just wish I had known sooner, so I would stop acting like a ‘lovesick puppy’ around you."
“No, no, I didn’t mean it,” he raised his palms in the air, as if to stop you, “I didn’t even think. I only spoke out of jealousy.”
“Jealousy?” you scoffed in disbelief. Did he really try to lie his way into forgiveness? “Why would you ever be jealous?”
Neteyam sighed and took a few steps closer to you. Almost too close. Of course, as friends, you had been even at a closer approximation before, but there was something different about it now. Too intimate, like no one else was supposed to see it. Your eyes flickered up to his face.
"Because you gave a chance to somebody else, and... I hated it," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "Seeing you hold his hand instead of mine, laugh at his jokes, accept his gifts...it hurt me, more than I care to admit. Do you understand?"
You blinked in confusion, though your heart raced at the mere possibility that he was hinting at what you had hoped for a long time. Neteyam waited for you to answer his question, but when you opened your mouth to speak, no words came out. Then you felt him reach for your hand, long fingers intertwining delicately with yours. Goosebumps covered your skin in an instant.
“Every time my parents talked about choosing a mate, I got frustrated because all I could see was your face… you by my side. And I was so confused, I didn’t know what it meant back then, but now I do,” words spilled out of him with sincerity, “I like you more than a friend, Y/N. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize that.” “’s better late than never, right?” you attempted a faint smile with a croaky voice, though your heart was racing like crazy.
Then, as he leaned in, every thought seemed to wash away, and all you could focus on was him.
“Can I just..?” he trailed off, his arms open for you.
You nodded, stepping into his embrace. He nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, breathing in deeply, savoring your scent. He had missed you so much and had been dreaming of holding you in his arms ever since the fight. All he wanted was to keep his arms around you, both gentle and strong at the same time. And sweet like honey, his voice dripped.
“I see you, Y/N.”
You pulled away, searching for his face.
“Can I kiss you?” his voice trembled like a leaf on a windy day, and your own heart skipped a beat at the question.
You could only stare back, frozen, as Neteyam’s fingers brushed hesitantly against your face. He leaned in and waited for you to push him away, but once he was sure you wouldn’t, his lips ghosted over yours. A beat, and with a shaky breath, he pulled you closer. You surrendered to the feeling immediately, hands finding their way to his chest, trying to touch, feel every part of him, just to convince yourself this was real. With a soft gasp, your tongues intertwined, his taste like honey, sweet and intoxicating, marked you as his own.
The kiss broke, foreheads resting against each other as you tried to catch your breath.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, his breath warm against your skin. "I should have waited for your permission."
You shook your head weakly, unable to form any coherent thoughts. All you knew was that you wanted more.
"Don't be sorry," you nuzzled his face with your own, "I...I wanted this for a long time."
Neteyam felt like his heart couldn’t take it anymore. He was lightheaded, intoxicated by you. By the way your lips tasted, by your scent, by the feeling of your hands on him. He kissed you again, more desperately this time, pushing you back slightly, stepping into the the pond. You followed him without a word, the water lapping at your ankles.
The water was cool around you, causing a shiver down your spine, though you weren’t sure, maybe it was just Neteyam. He pulled you closer, dipping the two of you into the water half to your waist. There was only one thing on his mind - he needed to take care of you, wash away the stress and the tiredness he had caused, and make up for it with his love.
You closed your eyes, surrendering yourself to his embrace, as he began to run his hands over your back, gently massaging your shoulders and arms. Some of the water he cupped had dripped over your back, relaxing away all of the tension in your body. You could feel yourself leaning onto him more, as if your knees were ready to give out any second now.
Neteyam’s hands continued to roam all over your body, exploring every curve he never had the chance to touch before. Everything that he had dreamed about was right there, under the pads of his fingers. He scooped another handful of water, bringing it to your face this time, washing away the dirt and the traces of paint off your face. You let out a sigh of pleasure, when his thumb grazed the blue stripe over your cheekbone.
His hands then strayed lower and lower, found their way to your hips and lingered there. He couldn’t move, thumbs pressed into your skin, leaving hot traces. You could feel the heat building in your chore, the desire in his eyes was undeniable. Without a word, he leaned in and kissed you again, his tongue probing gently at your lips. You opened your mouth, allowing him to deepen the kiss, and you felt a rush of heat flow through your body.
“Neteyam…” you sighed softly, your hands reaching for his loincloth, tugging at it weakly.
“Yes?” he asked, as he dipped his head to kiss your neck.
“I want you,” you managed to let out, hand reaching lower to stroke over his length. He pressed into your palm with a groan.
“I want you too,” he planted another kiss to your neck, “But we have to wait…”
“What? No,” you shook your head weakly.
“Mhm, yes… I have to court you first,” he spoke in between short breaths he took, mouth never leaving that sensitive spot on your neck, “Do it properly. Earn your affections.”
“Neteyam, you know you had me all this time,” you chuckled weakly.
His chest heaved as he pulled away slightly, his hands still cradling your cheeks. He looked deeply into your eyes, a small smile curling his lips as he studied your flushed face for a moment.
“I want to do this right, Y/N, will you let me?” he asked softly, like he had already planned out the whole thing in his head.
Butterflies churned in your stomach, and you nodded, your own lips stretching into a lovesick grin. He planted another gentle kiss on your forehead.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
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moneyload | satoru gojo x reader (implied fem)
this is for @satoruoo + everyone who’s tired of my angst | 1k wc
satoru likes spoiling you.
no— like would be the world's greatest understatement. satoru feels about spoiling you the way he feels about you— he doesn’t just like you, he‘s utterly enamored with you. if you asked, he'd move mountains for you. or give up a portion of his candy; both are equitable in his bright eyes. he loves you so much that he'd skip a basketball session with suguru or leave in the middle of the fight to throw the leftover scraps of a cursed spirit to whoever was unlucky enough to be there at the time; you're more important. you've always been.
yeah, that’s gotta be it. a perfect way to paint his feelings for you on a pure canvas brightened by your smile, light as a feather and lively as the sun. and you're completely deserving, he thinks— you, who's always been so patient and kind with him.
as such, he thinks it’s a crime to waste such a beautiful figure on things less than lavish dress and delicate jewelry; but to be honest, he thinks you could don a potato sack and still make it look exquisite. nevertheless, each time you protest when he drapes another dainty necklace glittering with gems cut from a million-dollar wallet and 58 facets (all the reasons he loves you— that's what he calls them.), he shushes you promptly with a swift, sweet kiss; you get a noseful of his expensive cologne every time he sidles up to you and gets comfortable. which, for the record, is quite often.
out of everything he gets you; bouquets of beautiful speckled flowers that look as if a painter dumped their entire palette of pastels and pretties onto the petals, sweet chocolates dark with the tiniest amount of cherry liquor in the center ("i don't need them— i already get drunk off of you, sweetheart!"), fragrant perfume or the latest comfortable clothing that catches his eye (this one's less common. he likes it better when you're only in his clothes.), jewelry is the one he always finds his way back to the most often.
why? well, if you ask him— there's nothing better than being sprawled on your couch with his head in your lap, nuzzling into your warm hand as he catches a whiff of the perfume he gifted you last week paired with the reddest rose he could find on your wrist. your hands card through his hair, and he uses the opportunity to catch your arm before you can move any further, giving you a smug grin as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a box.
(it's a little embarrassing the amount of times you've thought he was going to propose from that alone.)
you'll open it, and it'll be a pretty silver necklace that matches the one around his neck, or a gold ring with ornate details that he slips onto your fingers after taking your hand in his and pressing a kiss to your knuckles with a smile and a laugh. sometimes it's a bracelet adorned with rich jewels the color of your eyes; maybe something rose quartz to represent the flush on his cheeks you always seem to elicit or a marigold yellow to show the pure joy he gets from being around you. if you ask him about it, he'll just say, "i wasn't kidding when i said i get drunk off of you, baby." with a boyish giggle that's far too charming to not have been used in his younger years to get his way and a sweet little wink of an afterthought that has your heart racing.
on the occasions when the gift is far less... appropriate, you'll always sigh and chastise him with a shake of your head because you both know the fabric will be torn to shreds in a matter of a few minutes. he does it anyway, though. he's always been a little bit of a brat in that sense.
whatever it ends up as, satoru absolutely adores seeing your reactions; the cute flush on your cheeks when you accept it with a little thanks and a kiss to his cheek, leaning forward on the tips of your toes because he's too tall for his own good. maybe even to hook a finger around the bridge of his sunglasses for lips to lips, if he's lucky. of course, he knows he doesn't have to buy your affection— you've made that abundantly clear in moments he doesn't like to think about as anything more than vulnerability when he's worn out, but there's just something about you that makes him want to pile it on. he's always had more money than he knows what to do with, anyway.
and maybe, just maybe— one day he'll dare to hope for a future past school hallways, flattering dresses and skirts or sneaky kisses when he's a little sweaty and his jacket is in your arms and you're on the bleachers, hijacking shoko's pack of cigarettes while the squeak of shoes on the gym floor and the sound of a basketball rattling in the hoop fills your ears. past nights when you're curled up in his arms and he can comfortably rest his head in the crook of your neck, tucked away where it always should be (and always will be).
he'll hope for days when he gets to wake up to you by his side, a silver band with so much more meaning than the fifth one he's given you that week on your ring finger and a matching one on his own, because satoru loves you so much that he'd empty out the vaults of a bank just to make you smile at him. not in the hollow way his father always had at home, or in the obligatory resolute smiles of the servants on his estate, but in a genuine way; a way no one else (except his mom) had ever come close to because if he sold everything he ever had for you, his world would still be right in front of him, holding his hands and kissing his face in spontaneous bursts of love, like shooting stars dancing across his cheeks as a way of thanks.
...so, maybe satoru likes spoiling you so much because you always seem to return tenfold.
if u looked at my search history you'd see 'how many cuts does a diamond have' and 'what are the chocolates with alcohol in them called' my (riaki) stuff. don't repost and/or plagiarize !
#i caved (again!!!!)#this has been sitting in my notes app for like a month oopsies#breathe the fresh air. be blinded by the sun and smell the grass (me @ this drabble)#have more gojo fluff!!!! i have plenty to give#now i scuttle away to work on my christmas special#gojo satoru x reader#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo x you#gojo satoru x you#billet-doux#jjk fluff#jjk x reader#gojo x reader#gojo fluff#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk scenarios#i tbink this is the most i’ve edited for a banner yet oops#- rs !
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🌇 factored-antagonism 🔁 three-pronged-spears Follow
🌫️ three-pronged-spears Follow
DNI if you support Peripherism. It's literally just Slab Mongering but worse and with less effort
#wait peripherism is still a thing?????? #meaning collector point inversions havent been the norm in like 350 years afaik
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💟 pleading-intellect
GUYSSSS my overseer found a clutch of baby green lizards today they're so CUTE
#inty.txt #and BEFORE anyone accuses me of not iterating im literally running 55,458 processes rn
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❇️ string-of-pearls 🔁 rippling-shadows Follow
👤 forspoken-antiquity Follow
hey FYI everyone if you receive an ask about transcendental inversions it's a troll. i've gotten 3 asks in the last cycle
#signal boost!!
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🌁 nineteen-afterthoughts
"ohhh Triangulation is outdated" "ohhh Triangulators dont even factor noise milking into their research theyre a bunch of idiots" im literallu just a little guy im 4 feet tall why do you hate me
⬜️🔁 erratic-pulse
Irrelevant tangents and jokes don't help your case. Triangulationism is simply an objectively moronic take on an already superfluous train of thought. How are you supposed to find the Solution if you can't even properly look for it?
🌁🔁 nineteen-afterthoughts
you literally have Sliverist in your bio but go off
⬜️🔁 erratic-pulse
The minutiae of my theoretical inclinations are irrelevant. Your dogma is blatantly incorrect regardless.
🌁🔁 nineteen-afterthoughts
your group senior and i are raising a family together
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💽 slowly-advancing-mist
a band of scavengers literally just stole my last vat of holy ash thats it im seeking personal ascension
#vent #dont rb
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🚹 untoward-foresight Follow
Anyone else gotten really into Gold Hegemonic epic poetry recently? This one dude Eight Brass Whistles has a bunch of crazy quasi-Regeneratist stuff, it's actually really cool
🎹 east-facing-pillars
wasnt Eight Brass Whistles a heretic???? i heard he refused to shed the 3rd attachment or something like that
🚹 untoward-foresight Follow
Nah that callout post got debunked 533 cycles ago lol
🎹 east-facing-pillars
ahhh ok thanks for clarifying! ill let you know if i find anything :)
#thanks for being polite haha #lesson learned i gotta check this forum more LMAO
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⬜️ erratic-pulse
anonymous asked:
Transcendental Inversion! Transcendental Inversion!
Only someone with a fundamentally false understanding of inversion modes would send this. You can't even do such a thing without sufficient trailing bonds, which entropy renders impossible.
#Why do I always encounter idiots on this pseudonym?
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Let us be there for you...Part 2
Warning- Angst, fluff, introvert, shyness.
You’d always been the type to say “yes” to everything. You didn’t want to let anyone down. Especially not your new team. So when someone asked you for help, whether it was a mission, a training session, or just to hang out, you said yes.
You said yes because you were afraid to say no. You were afraid no one would want you around if you couldn’t say yes. You didn’t want to be rejected or left alone because you were “selfish” enough to say no. So you never said no, you always forced yourself to say yes.
Every time. Even when you were exhausted, even when you just needed a moment of peace.
You were exhausted, both mentally and physically. Every time you said yes, it was like adding another brick to your already full load. Your body was screaming to stop, to slow down, but you didn’t listen. You didn’t know how to say no, so you kept going. You kept forcing yourself to say yes, even as your mind and body were slowly breaking down.
You had no idea how to ask for a break. No idea how to express how overwhelmed you were. Because if you did, what if the others saw you as weakness? What if they saw you as a burden and sent you away?
That’s when Steve stepped in.
It started subtly. You’d find yourself in the common room, tense, avoiding everyone’s eyes because you didn’t know how to say no.
Steve would show up with that steady, understanding smile of his, pulling you aside to chat, and before you knew it, you were talking. Just talking, about how you felt, about how hard it was to constantly keep up appearances.
And he listened. Steve listened to you, truly listened to you. He didn’t judge, he didn’t dismiss your feelings. Instead, he showed empathy, understanding. He didn’t just brush off your words, he cared. He cared about how you felt.
“I know what it’s like,” Steve would say, his voice quiet but reassuring. “It’s hard to admit when you’re overwhelmed, but you don’t have to take it all on yourself. You’ve got us.”
You never realized how much you needed to hear those words until now.
Slowly, you started spending more time with him, more quiet conversations, more moments of just being yourself. The connection between you both deepened, and it felt like a weight was lifting.
But while it felt like a relief for you, it wasn’t so easy for Bucky.
Bucky had always been close to Steve, so seeing him spend more time with you had rubbed him the wrong way. He didn’t understand why Steve was spending so much time with you, why he wasn’t hanging out with him instead.
You first noticed it during dinner one evening. You’d been sitting with Steve, talking about the latest mission plans, when Bucky walked in.
He glanced over, saw you with Steve, and froze. The air between them was thick with something you couldn’t quite place. It was subtle so subtle, in fact, that you might’ve missed it if you weren’t paying attention, but there was a shift. A kind of... tension.
The next few days were more of the same. Bucky seemed quieter around you, his usual teasing replaced with a cool indifference. And whenever you spent time with Steve, Bucky was nowhere to be found.
It wasn’t until you overheard them, that the truth hit you.
It was late, the tower quiet, and you had been about to head to your room when you heard voices in the hallway. You froze, instinctively stepping back into the shadows, trying not to be noticed.
“What’s all this about you spending time with Y/n?” Bucky asked bluntly, his voice laced with annoyance.
Steve raised an eyebrow, his expression cool and calm. “What do you mean?”
Bucky rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean. You’re always hanging out with her now. It’s like you’ve forgotten about me.”
Steve’s expression softened slightly, but he didn’t give in. “I’m not allowed to have other friends, then?”
Bucky’s scowl deepened. “That’s not what I’m saying and you know it. You used to hang out with me all the time, and now it’s like I’m an afterthought.”
Steve sighed. “Bucky, it’s not like that. I’m allowed to spend time with other people, just like you are.”
Bucky crossed his arms, his annoyance still evident. “But it’s like you’re spending all your time with Y/n. What happened to us hanging out together? We used to do everything together!”
The pain in Bucky’s voice was unexpected, and it twisted something inside you. You felt guilty. Guilty for not seeing this sooner, guilty for the unintentional rift you were causing between two people who were like brothers to each other.
You didn’t want to be the cause of this. So, you did what you always did, you made a decision. You had to fix it.
The next day, you found Bucky in the training room, kicking around a punching bag like it owed him money. You hesitated for a moment, then walked in. He didn’t acknowledge you at first, but you could see the way his shoulders tensed when you approached.
“Bucky,” you said softly, not sure where to start. “Can we talk?”
He paused, then looked up, his expression unreadable. “What about?”
“I know... I know it’s been a bit strange lately...” you began, choosing your words carefully. “You’ve probably noticed that Steve and I have been spending more time together, and I just... I need you to know something.”
Bucky crossed his arms, his gaze never leaving you. “I’ve noticed.”
You took a deep breath, your heart beating faster. “The reason why Steve has been spending time with me...” you paused, unsure of how to say it, but then you forced yourself to continue. “It’s because I’ve been struggling. I’ve been having a hard time keeping up with everything, and Steve’s been helping me through it. I just can't say no to anyone and lately...I've been feeling like I'm drowning...”
Bucky’s expression changed from annoyance to surprise as you spoke. He had expected a different reason, and the truth took him off guard. “You…you’re having a hard time?” he asked, his voice losing some of its edge.
You nodded, feeling vulnerable but also relieved to finally admit it out loud. “Yeah,” you said quietly. “I’ve been putting on this mask for so long, trying to be the person everyone expects me to be...but it’s been exhausting. I just can’t keep up anymore. I feel like... if I say no... they'll be disappointed or think I'm rude...”
Bucky’s expression softened further, and he could no longer keep the annoyance. He looked at you with empathy, understanding what you were going through.
“Why didn’t you say something?” he asked, his voice quiet.
“I was afraid,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “I was afraid of being seen as weak, being seen as a burden. I thought I had to be strong for everyone...it’s just... Steve and I were talking about this, and he just... he knows what it’s like to feel like you have to be everything to everyone. He didn’t make me feel like I was weak for needing help. And I guess... I guess I needed that.”
Bucky’s expression softened even more, feeling guilty for thinking you were taking Steve away from him. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I had no idea you were feeling like that. And Steve... he’s been a good friend to you, hasn’t he?”
You nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. “Yeah, he has,” you replied. “He’s been there for me when I needed someone to listen. He doesn’t judge me, he just...he understands.”
Bucky’s mind was racing. He felt guilty for doubting you and Steve, for not realizing how much you were struggling. Now that he knew the truth, he couldn’t help but feel protective of you.
He silently vowed to himself that he would be there for you just like Steve had been. He promised to himself that if he can help Steve, he could help you too.
Bucky reached out and placed a hand on your shoulder, his voice serious but gentle.
“You’re not alone, you know,” he said. “Steve might be helping you, but you have other friends too. Including me.”
His words hung in the air, and you caught a glimpse of the sincere intent in his eyes. He meant every word he said.
The weight that had settled on your chest began to lift, a sense of relief flowing through you. “Thank you, Bucky. I’m really sorry I didn’t see this sooner. I don’t want to cause any more tension between you two.”
Bucky shrugged, the usual smirk on his face. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll work it out. But if you ever need help again, you know I’m right here for you.”
And just like that, the tension seemed to dissolve. What was once a fragile moment of hurt and miscommunication had turned into an opportunity for all of you to grow.
That evening, you found yourself in the common room with both Steve and Bucky, the three of you talking and laughing together. It felt right. You had your team, your friends, and they had your back. And now, you were learning how to lean on them when you needed it most.
You didn’t have to carry everything on your own. You weren’t alone anymore.
Part 1 - Part 3
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Give Thanks
No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, familial judgement/bullying, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: Your mother invites a lonely coworker to Thanksgiving, a bit too lonely.
Characters: Andy Barber
Note: this is the second of my autumn fics as decided by all of you!
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Asking for more or putting ‘part 2?’ is not feedback.
Love you all. You are appreciated and your are worthy. Treat yourself with care. 💖
The smell of nutmeg hits you as you enter the house. That and the garble of voices. You take your time as you unlace your boots, keeping your jacket on as the rack is already overflowing with the like. You mentally ready yourself to face your famiiy and their annual judging panel.
You peek into the front room as you keep a firm hold of the boxed pies you grabbed from your favourite bakery in the city. You promised dessert and you brought it. You'll put them down before you wade in the deep end.
You enter the kitchen, rehearsing your greeting for your mother, but you're met with a stranger's back. He stands at the counter, scraping cranberry sauce from a saucepan into a serving dish. His brown hair is combed back neatly, though you can only see the ends from your vantage, and he wears a pressed shirt too white for the task at hand.
You hesitate. Where the heck is your mom? You can't see the man's face but you can tell he's a bit too young for her. Or so you would assume. He could be a cousin's boyfriend and yet he might be a bit above that.
"Um, hi," you say as you approach the end of the island counter, well away from him, "I'm looking for my mom."
"Your mom? Doris?" He wonders.
"Yeah," you answer as you set the pies on the counter. "I know I'm a little late..."
"She just went to grab something from the cellar," he explains. "I'm Andy--"
"There she is," your mom sweeps in with her seasonal gravy dish. "Mm, I knew you'd bring store bought."
"They're from a local bakery."
"You never did like being in the kitchen," she reprimands. "Oh, Andrew, that looks perfect. Not too runny."
You glance at the man. This strange man draws praise from her like honey from a comb, whereas you find the task as easy as squeezing juice from a stone. You let it roll off your back like you have for years.
"I got pumpkin, apple crumble, and some pecan. They usually sell out of that." You say.
"Ooh, pecan," the man, Andy, says.
"Oh, Andrew, my younger daughter," your mother introduces you as an afterthought as she goes to wash the gravy boat, "The typist."
"Typist? Mom, I'm an admin assistant," you counter. "I guess it doesn't matter."
"Just her, I'm afraid," she shuts off the faucet. "And her pies. No grandkids from her yet."
You see that this year is going to be just like the last. You're better off facing the rabble of aunts and uncles waiting for you in the front room. Heck, the kids' table might be the place for you.
"Thirty this year," your mother adds.
You force a tight-lipped smile. When you were a kid, it was your grades or the stubborn bit of hair at the back of your head or that your sister, Tia, did it better. Now you're an adult, it's your lack of ambition or lack of kids. You don't think you lack the former and you don't really want the latter. Life is what it is. You have a job that pays your bills and you don't need to add to your cost of living.
"I work with your mom." He offers. You look at him again.
He’s tall, blue-eyed, distinguished. He’s older but carries it well enough. The thin lines around his eyes only add to his looks, and his thick beard further defines his jaw.
"Oh, the law firm?"
"He's a new partner," your mother preens. "Oh, he gave your brother some good advice too. Hopefully he can move out of that public office soon enough."
Right, Rodney does everything right. He got into law, just like your mother told him too, and he has a pretty house and a pretty wife and three spoiled brats. Tia only has the one and a husband who works out of town every weekend. They're real grown-ups but to you, growing up seems boring.
Your life isn't glamourous. You do diamond art or catch-up on the last issue of your favourite comic when you're not too tired. You get takeout once a week, otherwise you put the ready-made meals in the microwave and eat it in front of the television. It's not special but it's your life.
"Public defenders do a service to the community," Andy says. "I did it for twenty years. It's not bad work. He can move up."
"Mm, and yet you moved to a private firm," your mother challenges him.
"Maybe you should be partner," he chortles at her playfully as he wipes his hands on the tails of the borrowed apron tied around his torso.
"My mom makes really good stuffing," you say, "I'm sure you'll enjoy it, even if you're not home for the holiday." You drag your feet along the tile, "I'm going to say hello to Auntie Toya."
"Good luck. She's in one of her moods," your mother tuts. "Must be menopause."
You leave before she can aim another snipe in your direction. She can't help but let the bullets fly and see where they hit. It might be thanksgiving, but you're struggling to find much to be grateful for.
🍂
"Mandy has a Christmas recital. I'll be sending the invite in the family chat," Tia, your sister, proclaims. "If you can make it, she'd be so happy, huh, sweetie?"
She pets behind her daughter's ear and makes her giggle. Every awes and cooes at the little girl. Just like when your sister was her age, she's the princess of the family.
"I can try to bring the kids," Rodney says. "We're thinking to get Kelly into dance next year. I need to get used to those things."
Everyone laughs. You're not very amused. You're happy the kids have hobbies, that they are doing interesting things, but you just don't care that much. Still, your happy to be able to fade into the background.
"I'm sure your sister can make it," your mother says, bring you back into the universe, "she doesn't have anything else going on."
Your eyes dart back and forth. Your mouth is full of potatoes. You gulp painfully.
"I can set the date aside. I still have some vacation left," you choke out. You can't make up an excuse with a whole audience to call you out.
You sink back into silence as Tia goes on about the show. They're doing The Nutcracker. Oh joy. You were never a fan. Why can't they do something fun, like The Grinch?
"Don't think I'm included in that invite," Andrew says under his breath from your left shoulder. As the two loners at the table, you're put together. "Kinda awkward."
He chuckles, trying to ease the tension. You shift and hide your embarrassment. You forgot there was a complete stranger here to witness your judgement.
"Right, well... I'm sure you have enough going on," you say.
"I'm sure you do too," he pokes at the yams. "Kids keep you busy but life is already hectic."
"Sure," you agree dully. You don't want to be rude. "you have kids?"
"One. A son. Grown. He went to his girlfriend's for the holiday and his mom... is not in town."
"Bad timing," you take another bite of potatoes. Maybe next year you can come down with a timely case of the flu.
"Don't be silly. She doesn't have a boyfriend. We'd all know," your mother trills with laughter. You pop your head up as the hairs on your neck tingle. You know she means you before you even catch her gaze. "It'd be such an achievement, she'd have to shout it from the rooftops."
You lost track of the conversation and you're not sure how you became the butt of the joke, but you're tired. It's supposed to be a day for family but it just feels like you're being cast out of yours. You put your fork down.
"I'm going to clear my plate. Think I had too big a snack on the drive here," you stand, gritting back your irritation. "As usual, stuffing's delicious."
You get up and make your way along the table. The silence is dense. Oh well. If they want to make this painful, you can do the same.
You go to the kitchen and find a container. You scrape your leftovers into it and shake your head. You suppose you are behind. You're thirty years old. Next year you'll be thirty-one and her chiding will be even louder. The ticking of the clock will only ger worse as the years go by.
"You're right, stuffing's good," Andy says.
You wince and glance over your shoulder. "Uh, yeah. Like I said, think my eyes were bigger than my stomach."
He comes up next to you and rinses off his plate, "well, I think my stomach would be turning too after that."
"It's whatever," you shrug.
"Thirty isn't old. You got time," he says.
"Thanks," you reply tersely.
"Not that it's any of my business."
You're silent. It isn't but you're not going to be rude enough to say that out loud. Unlike the rest of your family, you can keep your thoughts to yourself. They might think you're immature because you're not living behind a white picket fence, but at least you don't act like a teenager.
"It's better to take your time. You know, you rush into big decisions and you can't undo them. They don't always turn the way people promise," he says. "You follow that road map, take one wrong turn and you're wife's spending Thanksgiving with her 'work husband' at a hotel." He opens the dishwasher and wedges his plate between the metal, "Work husband, secret boyfriend, you know..."
You're struck by the revelation. You can hear the tension in his voice. The hurt, the anger.
"Oh, I'm sorry," you utter dumbly.
"You're sorry? She isn't," he reaches for your plate and rinses it next. "I'm not telling you because I want you to feel bad for me. I guess I'm trying to commiserate. It could be worse." He adds your plate to the washer, "you're doing nothing wrong. Being alone means you have choices. Being tied to someone... you have obligations."
"Yeah, sounds about right," you say. "Well, thanks. Not to benefit off your pain but yeah." You put the lid on the tupperware and sidle along to put it in the fridge, "I think I'm going to get some fresh air. Getting a bit overcrowded in here."
"A little," he agrees.
You leave and hold your breath until you get to the front door. Who knew the stranger at the table would be the only one to make you feel welcome?
You grab your coat from the guest room and push your feet into your boots at the front door. You go outside into the brisk air. It's actually nice. Refreshing almost.
You sit on the porch bench. In the colder months, it's rarely used. It hasn't snowed yet but the frost glistening on the grass is foreboding.
You tuck your hands into your sleeves and look along the street. The other houses with yellow windows, glowing with the warmth and shadow of happy families. This time of year has only ever been stressful to you. You're never a part of the fun, you're usually the source of it.
The front door opens and you fight to keep your unease under wraps. You don't need your mom lecturing you. Again. Or Tia telling you not to be jealous. Whatever happens is always your fault.
"Whew, it's cold," Andy's voice eases your nerves as it assures you it isn't who you fear.
"Yep, I don't mind. It's the only thin I like about this time of year."
"Really?" He nears and sits on the other end of the bench. "I'm a summer person, I guess. Used to be we'd go to some resort for New Years." He says.
"Sounds nice," you say.
"I know. I'm moaning about a luxury," he scoffs, "trust me, I get it. I got it all, what do I got to whine about?"
"I wouldn't say that. You never know what people have going on."
"Nope," he agrees and rubs his hands together. He's quiet as he leans forward, resting his elbows on his legs. He bends and unbends his fingers as he examines them then sits up again. "Brrr. Only good thing about this weather, snuggle weather."
He laughs. You try to. It's an awkward joke.
"Maybe I should get a cat," he suggests.
"Maybe," you clutch your hands tight. You should go inside. You know he's being nice but he's ruined the moment.
Your teeth chatter as you take a deep breath of the late autumn air. Just a little longer before you go back. You close your eyes.
The bench creaks and you think he's getting up. He must get the hint. Instead, as you open your eyes, you feel a weight across your shoulders. You flinch and peek at him from the corner of your eye.
"You're shivering," he says.
You look at him then back to the road. You should pull away but you can't. It feels mean.
"God, my hands are so cold," he grips your shoulder as he puts his other hand on your thigh.
"Woah," you catch his thick fingers.
"Come on, let's get warmed up," he breaks through your resistance and rubs your leg.
"Alright, I don't know what you think--"
"What's so wrong about it? Like trains passing through the night. My wife's cheating, you're single, we could have some fun," he purrs as he holds you against him.
"Um, no thanks," you grab his fingers again. "I'm flattered but--"
"Shh, shh," he peels his hand away from your leg, once more evading your grasp, and grabs your chin. "Your mom told me all about it. How you can't get a date--"
"That's not--" you latch onto his wrist, "stop, please, Andy."
"Come on," he turns your head and nuzzles your nose with his, "I'm so fucking lonely. My wife hasn't touched me in over a year."
"Your wife-- Andy," you hiss.
"Just kiss me, please? That's all I want. Just a little affection. To feel wanted."
"You're-- stop. Let go of me," you try to dislodge his hold on you. He's too strong.
He tilts his head and presses his lips to yours. You murmur and slep his chest with your other hands. He hooks his arm around you as he angles you toward him. You writhe and bite his lip.
He gasps and pulls back, keeping you locked in his embrace, "listen, sweetheart, you wanna play hard-to-get," he squeezes your jaw until you whimper, "what's mom gonna think when she catches you all over her married coworker?"
"No, that's not--"
"I'm sure she'll believe you," he snarls and slides his hand down to your throat.
"Why..." you croak.
"Baby, please, it's not a bad thing," he moves you with him as he edges off the bench. He turns, one arm still around you, his other hand locked onto your neck. He bends and forces you onto your back as he settles over you. "I'm going to make you feel just as good as you make me feel."
You wriggle and whine. What he says is just as scary as what he hasn't said. He'll make you feel as good as you do him, or as bad.
#andy barber#dark andy barber#dark!andy barber#andy barber x reader#one shot#fic#autumn#defending jacob
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Alastor x gn! Reader wherein redemption has been found possible, and s/o had to be the first one to go while he's left in hell.
And he misses them.
Alastor X GN!Reader [Angst]
In which Alastor unfortunately lost you in a way he's not sure he can ever get you back.
Alastor met you at that blasted hotel long ago, when everything had first started
And no, he never believed it in, he always teased you before and after you were together about how much you trusted Charlie, as if there was any rhyme or reason
But you worked hard, harder than anyone else, even Charlie
Hours spent manning the hotel, encouraging others to join, keeping yourself clean and being kind
When you both wed, in his vows he joked if anyone, you'd be the first to go
What a sick joke
No one knew what was happening, when a light broke out and consumed you, when your body became lighter than air, when everyone saw you for what you were
An angel
Alastor wasn't there when it happened, he only saw the light pierce through the skies, and was at a loss when he tried calling but got no answer
Honestly, he didn't have much of a reason to worry
He just, well- he didn't feel right
So to assure himself everything was dandy as per, he decided to detour a little sooner back to the hotel
He saw celebration, he saw Charlie, he saw your ring on the floor
And he didn't see you
For the first in a long, long time, he struggled to smile
No one can get to him, and no one wants to, he's stood still, racing through every possibility, every action he has to take
He knows you're not hiding, you would never pull such a cruel joke on him
But then what
Everything he has done as a human, in the afterlife, everything about him
There's no way he could get into heaven, not for centuries and aeons
If he tried breaking into heaven for you and failed, it'd take quadruple that time to switch plans and make up for ever trying
It haunts him, knowing that the best course of action is to just, not do anything
He's always clutching your ring, staring at everything of yours in the hotel, pacing back and forth in your room, thinking
Thinking. Thinking. Thinking.
And with months, then weeks, slowly more people start to join you
He can't admit it, but he's jealous, he is seething with nothing but envy and rage that everyone else gets to be with you, everyone but him
Alastor the Radio Demon eventually fades form the public eye, becoming nothing but an afterthought, a bad taste left over in the back of your throat when the topic comes up years later
No one knows where he is, what became of him
No one knows what pitiful creature he’s sunk into, obsessed with an angel he'd leave nothing but stains on
Author's Note - When I got this request I got SO excited, it really inspired me, so thank you!
#koko writez#hazbin hotel#helluva boss#hazbin hotel x reader#helluva boss x reader#reader insert#x reader#alastor#alastor x reader
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Because of a recent ask about the dad's name I am dropping this old drawing that should go along with a oneshot I doubt I'll ever finish because I don't like it anymore, so better I just put this out there.
The dad's name is Keanu and his husband's name is Wave. I don't actually know anything about them but here they are 😅
And you can find a portion of the unfinished fic with this scene under the cut. Warning: Floyd is a mess. A much much bigger one than I actually/currently think his present self is, hence why I don't like this so much anymore (and it was never meant to be canon to my ex bandmates au anyway). It's still pretty funny though.
. . .
Before Bruce could notice the change in Floyd’s mood his eyes caught movement behind him by the entrance to the restaurant. His grin eased down into a more relaxed smile for him to return to business.
“We have another troll family coming in,” he said and turned around to pick up a set of small, freshly-printed and laminated menus from the counter. “Been getting quite a number of those since we hosted the concert.”
Floyd snatched them from his hand, eager to push the replay of his anxiety to the back of his mind, and get back to work. “I’m on it," he said determinedly. "You take care of the big guys.”
He didn’t even know if he could handle carrying another Vaycaytioner-sized family-sized order of food. He hogged the regularly-sized troll customers as much as he could.
The new guests had settled behind one of the small inflatable plastic tables in the pool area close to the entrance where the sun was shining through. Even with their lower halves submerged in water, Floyd could immediately tell that they were Techno Trolls from the way their hair flowed in the air, like gravity was just an afterthought to them.
Once he got closer, Floyd saw that it was presumably two dads around his age with their two kids. His eyes immediately glued themselves to the older, more physically attractive of the two men, because that’s what he always seemed to find himself doing in these situations. Not that it was his fault the guy was hot and Floyd had been grounded to perfume bottles, armadillo RVs, and underground bunkers for months on end.
When he made it to the pool edge and stood right above their floating table, he finally caught himself gazing. He blinked and reeled his stupid horny thoughts back in before he would do something dumb like bite his lip and give him the bedroom eyes in front of his husband and kids. Not that something like that had been completely beneath him in the past. But he was currently on a shift in his brother’s restaurant, so…
He put on a more acceptable, family-friendly smile.
“Hi, welcome,” he said easily, sounding nothing like how his spasmodic thoughts felt in his head. “How’s everyone doing? You guys hungry?”
He crouched down and leaned over the edge of the pool to hand them the menus.
“Starving, actually,” the attractive techno troll said with a friendly laugh in his voice, and leaned over the inflatable table to grab them. And Floyd’s eyes traveled down that toned arm and exposed stomach. Not only did he ooze the confident, warm charisma of someone who had his life together, he was also fit. Floyd almost fell into the pool in his attempt to accidentally brush fingers with him. The guy was back in his spot in the water before either of those things happened, much to Floyd’s relief and disappointment.
He straightened up and pulled up his notepad and pencil almost like a shield. Fuck, Floyd, get your head straight! “Can I get you anything to drink while you decide what you'll have?”
“Nah, I think we’ll look first,” the guy replied without lifting his eyes as he handed the menus to the rest.
Floyd was about to give up on his first round of trying to get this man’s attention, and sigh in relief that his stupid wants weren’t being entertained, when he registered a different set of eyes staring hard at him. He glanced to the left, to the other guy behind the table.
The intensity of the glare nearly made Floyd recoil.
His first thought was: Shit, I wasn’t even trying to be obvious. Because when he was, the angry stares he would receive from jealous boyfriends or girlfriends were usually heated and flustered, not intensely sharp and cold. The steadiness with which he was being pinned didn’t even feel like a newly developed loathing.
Shit was also Floyd’s second thought. He’s looking at me like we know each other… I haven’t already fucked his man before, have I? Floyd wasn’t so good with faces or names …or memory in general when it came to certain episodes in his life. But surely the hot husband would have remembered him at least…
Then his mind wandered to the other possibility. Did we fuck??
Whenever he tried to iron out his life, his stupid past actions always seemed to come back to bite him in the ass. He really hoped this wasn’t one of those cases.
He stared at the troll’s face, trying to place him somewhere. Techno Troll (that didn’t narrow it down that much), hair in two different gradients of blue, dark purple skin, a younger-looking face even for a Techno Troll, bright green eyes, and green freckles…
Sweat broke down Floyd’s back, and it had nothing to do with his recovering physical condition.
He swallowed uncomfortably and instinctively pulled his pencil and paper slightly closer to his chest. His eyes finally looked over to the other side of the inflatable table. He had only briefly glanced at the kids before, enough to know they were kids and uninteresting. But looking at them now… Floyd immediately deviated a couple of shades from his natural hue.
Neither had any of the hunky dad’s warm colors; in fact, the kids weren’t even fully Techno. They were mixed like his friend Liv. The scarce strands of thin, luminescent Techno cords were nearly swallowed up by dense, fluffy, regular hair. The girl—they were a boy and a girl—was lounging on a pool float with her feet in the air, and Floyd could see that instead of flippers, she had legs with the unusually webbed feet, kind of something like an amphibian. The other kid—the boy—had skin that didn't have the dim effect or rubbery texture to it that Techno Trolls normally had, and it was an uncomfortably familiar shade of turquoise. Both of them sported hot pink bangs over their eyes.
“Ah,” Floyd uttered out loud like some kind of dumbass.
The three heads who had been engrossed in the restaurant menu all looked up, surprised to see him still standing there. Floyd evaded their gazes only to lock eyes with the purple troll again.
He… He was the kid from the week-long, non-stop techno rave, back when Floyd had been deep in his sour worm addiction and going through a long manic episode to top it off… At one point during the party someone brought out pure citric acid and Floyd blanked out for three days straight after that, only to wake up in an unfamiliar bed with a double surprise…
It was like a switch, but now Floyd could clearly remember the young adult version of this troll floating around his dorm room with the egg from Floyd’s head in his hands, panicking about how his parents were going to kill him, all while Floyd silently lay in bed contemplating if he should mention the other egg stuck in the kid's hair or if he should just say he’s going to the bathroom and then never return.
“Uhm.” He swallowed uncomfortably, wanting to be anywhere but here. Maybe not the crystal bottle, but anywhere else. “…I think I should get you a different waiter…”
The purple troll’s glare did not waver in the slightest. “I think so too.”
Floyd took that as permission to bail on him a second time. He turned around on his heel and practically ran from the pool edge.
“Keanu, you good?” he heard the husband ask, sounding obviously confused about what just transpired.
Well, at least Floyd knew what to call that troll in his head now instead of just "kid"…
. . .
#trolls#dreamworks trolls#my art#trolls oc#eddy m#ravin#techno trolls#keanu#wave#fanfic#trolls floyd#answered#bright colors#eye strain#saturated colors
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Hi! If I may be so self indulgent and request something... 👉🏻👈🏻
Reader being a (for lack of better words) boring person. They're good at blending in within social circles but never standing out or having a circle or friend of their own. Good laughing at jokes but can't come up with good ones or even if they did, they don't have the courage to tell them outright. They're very much a chicken when it comes to expressing themselves as an individual because they're never comfortable enough around anyone. They are a chicken in general, to be honest. This essentially (and sadly) leaves them as an NPC in their own life. And they've accepted it, trying to come to terms with a life of extreme mediocrity. They're actively trying to push down any need of wanting more from life 99% of days.
However, when you're good at listening, you observe things much better and you learn things faster. And subconsciously, reader has been observing a lot of things about Velaris (including the IC). I'm not sure where this would lead but this is probably the only real skill they have; being a good observer and learner.
I leave the rest to you. I was thinking pairing them with Azriel (since he would probably understand her better) but I'm open to any modifications.
Also, just an afterthought, I've always wondered what job I would love to have in a fantasy world (and I don't know if this counts as an actual job) but something like observing the sky/stars to look for any forthcoming events sounds really cool. So I guess reader could do that since major events happen don't happen once in a hundred years or something which ultimately makes their job very boring. However, they love it because who wouldn't love spending their whole night star-gazing (potential date idea?? YESS).
Sorry this became way longer than I intended. I wouldn't judge if you chose not to write on it. Thanks & have a great day :)
Am I boring? | Azriel X boring F reader
A/N: Hiii! Tysm for your ask. I hope I captured what you were imagining right. 💖
summary: You’re a star mapper. And you’re boring with no hope of love. Or at least you believed that until Azriel came along.
1.2k words
warnings: no use of y/n, she/her pronouns, cussing??, romance?? That’s it?? I think?
The stars shined brighter tonight. Since you were a little girl, you had always been fascinated by them. How they sparkled. They were interesting, and beautiful- unlike you. Maybe that’s why you clung onto them.
You pulled a piece of parchment from your bag, and started mapping the stars. Rhysand, the highlord of the night court, had invited you to his court to observe and map stars from this part of the world. You accepted, wanting some change. Even if you knew it wouldn’t be much of a difference to you. The inner circle was more than nice to you, and you appreciated it.
Laughter bubbled from behind you. You currently sat with your telescope on the balcony of the House of Wind. This was your third week here. Rhysand had offered you a permanent place here in the night court, but you were yet to accept. You didn’t fit in. You were a background character. A random star mapper, a job would probably never be much of use to anyone. Except weird star fanatics. Aka you. You were sure he only offered you a place here because of pity.
The inner circle seemed to really like you, and whether that was because of your quiet and shy nature, or the fact you always listened and gave great advice, or the fact you always laughed to try and fit in even if you didn’t quite understand the joke, you didn’t know. The only one who seemed to see past your mask of people pleasing was the Shadowsinger.
Anytime you ‘laughed’ at Cassian’s jokes, he was always there, smirking with a known look at you. As if he knew you. As if he had known you your whole life. Azriel had seemed curious about you. It was uncomfortable. Nobody had ever been curious about you. Everyone always enjoyed someone that they could talk to about themselves for hours. But he was the one always interrupting the other members of the inner circle to question you, on you. And your own life. And sadly you didn’t have many answers other than, “oh I don’t know.”
It made you feel weird at how interested he seemed in you. It made you feel awkward. But you knew he would lose interest once he really discovered there wasn’t actually much to you. You were a bore.
“Those stars are named Arktos, Carynth, and Oristes. They shine above that mountain for a week once a year during the blood rite.” A voice said beside you. You flinched as you noticed Azriel sitting directly by you, his shadows swirling around you both. He was always appearing out of nowhere. He handed you a plate of cake.
“Courtesy of Elain. She baked dessert tonight.” Azriel said, lifting a bite of his cake to his mouth and chewing on it.
“Oh.” You responded, setting the plate down beside you. You quickly labeled the stars on your parchment. They were beautiful.
“Do you like cake?” He questioned.
You paused and stared blank at him.
“I’m not sure?” You responded, fiddling with your hands. “It’s okay, I guess.”
Azriel smiled at you knowingly. Loud laughter boomed from the room behind you two. He looked right at you with piercing amber eyes that seemed annoyed. As if he had noticed you flinching from the loud sounds.
“Come with me? Just trust me.” He whispered, grasping your hand gently with caution. It was sudden. And you weren’t sure. You didn’t know him much. How could you trust him? But something in your body and soul screamed yes. Why not? It was risky- but life was boring.
“Okay.” You responded, gasping as he pulled you close, his wings wrapping you close to him, and his shadows swarming around you both before all of a sudden you were now standing on a cliff. Oh gods. His hands were on your hips gently, his wings spread wide, letting you see the view.
You both stood on a cliff that overlooked a waterfall and river. The moon reflected in the water and the stars did too, creating a mirror effect. It was probably the most gorgeous sight you had ever seen.
“Its- it’s…” Your words fumbled, mouth open in shock. “Beautiful..” you whispered. His breath was hot against your ear.
“Very.” He whispered back. When you looked at him he wasn’t even looking at the view. His eyes were glued on you. And he was looking at you as if you were a goddess. Azriel’s eyes softened, with adoration. It scared you. Nobody had ever looked at you like that. With a blush you realized he was holding you like a lover. He smirked at you as if knowing you just realized it.
Azriel slowly let go and used his wing to guide you to turn around. Blankets and pillows were on the ground. Like a picnic but a nest. His shadows swirled excitedly around the set up. He guided you gently to the set up, helping you sit down before sitting beside you.
“Do you want your mapping materials? My shadows can retrieve them for you. I wasn’t sure if you’d want to just relax and enjoy this night or continue star mapping.” He murmured.
You thought for a second. This was odd. Was this a date? Or did he do this with all of his friends? Did you want to map or did you want to enjoy this night with him?
“No it’s okay.” You replied, eyes glued to the stars above. They were much clearer from this view then from the House of Wind. You guess the city lights blurred them out. But here? They were in their full glory.
“Why did you bring me here?” He seemed to pause before responding.
“My shadows told me you might be leaving soon. This is my attempt at convincing you to stay here. In the night court. With your mate.” Azriel confessed.
He watched your eyebrows furrow.
“Mate? I don’t have a mate-“ you panicked.
His wings cocooned you and his arm enveloped you. It was like he could sense your panic. He rocked you back and forth like a child. And it was comforting.
“I’m your mate. I’ve known since I’ve met you. I thought I would have more time to get to know you and the bond would snap for you, but then my shadows informed me of your soon departure.”
You swallowed, throat bobbing. You blinked a few times. “There isn’t anything about me to get to know.” You replied harshly. Azriel’s eyebrows furrowed with concern. Shadows swirled around you both, some tendrils caressing you.
“Don’t say that. I know it isn’t true. Everyday I learn something new about you. I don’t care what you say, you are the most interesting person I’ve ever met.” He said, words much louder and firmer now. He thinks you’re interesting?
“Stay. Stay with me. Let me get to know you. I don’t expect you to accept the bond anytime soon. But give me- give us a chance.” Azriel said, wings tightening around you both. His eyes bore into you, with a fierce and loving look in them. You couldn’t help but soften in his hold.
You realized then, you deserved love. And for once a belonging feeling overwhelmed your senses.
“I’ll stay.”
Hope you guys enjoyed 💗
#azriel#acosf#acotar#imagine#x reader#acotar 5#acotar fanfiction#acotar fic#azriel acotar#azriel fanfic#azriel shadowsinger#azriel x reader#azriel x you#azriel spymaster#acotar series#Azriel imagine#reader insert#azriel x reader fluff#fluff
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The Albatross
pairing: Lance Stroll x reader
summary: You have quite the reputation, but maybe all the danger Lance has been warned about is a lie
masterlist ttpd masterlist
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“A pleasure doing business with you,” you stand up from behind your desk, letting the representative extend their hand to you first. Only then, do you shake their hand, letting your perfectly manicured nails scratch them ever so slightly so they remember who is in charge.
You just closed an acquisition deal, further sealing your reputation as a ruthless business leader. When you want something you go after it, a force of nature that leads to others downfall.
That’s what happens when you are the heir to one of the largest business families in the world. You were raised to be cutthroat yet savvy from birth. You are a L/n, your name strikes fear.
Lance Stroll was lucky. Any other guy in his position would be working under their father. Well, he is, but as an F1 driver, not some c-suite executive. That doesn’t mean he is obvious to other powerful business families, he reads business news often.
“Y/n L/n closes another deal in a string of acquisitions to her portfolio,” the headline says one morning as Lance reads before a team meeting. He’s heard your name, either cursed out or praised by his father, Lance is unsure which. That isn’t the only place, Lance has heard the warnings about you, how you cause death to whatever you set your sights to. Maybe that’s what intrigues him. How can a 25 year old be so feared?
“Lance, I need you to woo Miss L/n. She is interested in sponsoring a team, we need to get her money,” Lawrence says, knowing his son will understand the business side. He hopes that Lance’s business talk will appeal to you. Lawrence heard the mumbling of warning and apprehension across the paddock, likening you to an albatross who will bring death.
“What if she tempts our drivers away, distracting them and killing their career. Or she takes a majority stake and ruins the team,” one team leader had said, more worried about your looks than your money as he added the afterthought. To them, you are the seed that can kill a garden.
Lance finds you walking through the paddock, speaking rapidly in a foreign language into your phone. He waits carefully for you to finish before approaching. You are strikingly beautiful, it disguises your lethal edge. You immediately clock him, knowing who he is before he opens his mouth.
“Mr. Stroll, I assume you want my money, like everyone else here. What make you special? Doesn’t your family have enough money to sponsor the team?” your words cut through the air, a nonchalant air around you. Lance’s brain freezes for a second, he didn’t quite believe your reputation. You weren’t wrong either.
“I’m not here to talk sponsorship. I admire how you conduct business, you know exactly what you want, and you go for it. You probably already know who you will sponsor, you just want to make everyone sweat,” Lance says without thinking, not seeing the ghost of smile on your face.
“Because I am the devil? The albatross? I believe that’s what they call me. Tell me, Mister Stroll, why should I sponsor your team. I could easily buy a whole team, say Haas, get my name out there as the main sponsor. What is in it for me?” you question, curious as to how much Lance knows about deals and negotiations.
“There isn’t, but you’d be partnering with a brand that is known for luxury and class. My family has money in it, meaning it is a safe choice, but you don’t always like safe,” Lance says aloud, knowing there is no way to swing you his way completely.
“I like you, you are honest,” you say before walking away. His point is moot when looking at Mercedes and Ferrari are options. The money isn’t completely yours to spend either, you will propose the sponsorship to your father.
You spend the rest of the warm summer day in the Paddock making the smaller teams sweat. You are unlikely to sponsor a small team, but it is good to check out the options of buying a team.
Lance finds his thoughts drifting to you, you visit his daydreams. He finds you alluring, despite any warning he’s gotten about you. Meanwhile, you sit in your bland hotel room, notes strewn across the bed as you go over the day. Neither of you are aware of your father’s meeting with one another.
The next morning you are sitting in a cafe near the track. It’s cozy, the kind of place with rugs, plants, books, and other decor filling the space. It’s nice, different from your office and the upscale hotels you stay at. You are focused on the book in your hand, so much so that you don’t notice Lance sit across from you.
“I didn’t expect to find you here,” Lance says, a tired smile on his face. You raise your eyebrow, placing a bookmark in the book. You are a naturally curious person.
“Were you searching? Perhaps you can answer some questions for me regarding your team,” you say, setting the book on the table and leaning in ever so slightly.
“I guess so, yeah,” Lance sips his coffee, trying to recall what he can about sponsorship numbers.
“Why are you in Formula One? Every article that I’ve read says you are a pay driver and don’t deserve your spot,” you stare him down, but stop him before he can defend himself. “Luckily, I don’t believe every article I read, and you have okay results, but convince me why I should fund your team,” you suddenly seem so closed off to him, a sharpened dagger ready to kill. Lance feels a thrill run through him, ready to go head to head with you.
“I won’t lie and say my father didn’t help me, but I worked hard to drive with Aston Martin. Bad drivers in good cars consistently don’t place well, but I average a qualifying position of 13 and average a finish of 11. I work hard to improve and move up through the midfield,” Lance watches your body language closely. He can tell by the way you slightly relax and your eyes aren’t narrowed that you are satisfied with his answer.
“Good. Now, partnerships are a two sided deal, ask me what you want,” you lay down what most people believe to be a trap. Those willing to take the opportunity tend to see a reward.
“Are you really that bad? Why do people call you the she-devil of business?” Lance asks the hard hitting question, but you appear unfazed as you sip your coffee.
“I have been known to raise hell and kill a business if needed, but you of all people should know what it is like being the heir to a large corporation. Half of it is exaggerated, and the other half is misogyny. I know what I want, it is unsettling to people,” you answer. Lance feels a strange feeling in his heart, and he knows he is in danger if he falls for you.
“One more. Besides the money, how will I benefit from the partnership, hypothetically,” Lance asks, leaning in slightly, careful not to rest his elbows on the wooden table.
“I will help you with your PR, or at least how to handle the negativity. We seem to be more similar than many realize,” you tell him, catching him off guard. You know how to handle the hate, something he could benefit from. “Even if I don’t sponsor your team, I will help you. Consider a gift, from one nepo baby to another,” you wave your hand between you.
“There is always a catch, nothing is free,” Lance says warily, catching your smirk.
“Ah, yes. Consider it a favor that will be returned someday then,” you don’t show your complete hand, but it is enough to satisfy Lance. You gather your items and leave him at the table. He watches you leave the cafe, the warm atmosphere lacking something without you. Little does he know, he’s slowly worming his way into your thoughtless heart, making you care a little and want to help.
You make your way to the paddock, ready to be wooed by teams as you narrow your decision. As the day progresses, you keep open ears about anyone and any team, needing to know what you may get yourself into. As you take a private lunch in some team’s hospitality, your father joins you.
“Daddy,” you stand up and greet him with a hug. He mentioned that he may stop by to help in your pursuit of an investment.
“Hello, sweetheart. How are things going so far?” he sits down across from you, immediately being served lunch.
“It is going well, I have narrowed it to three teams. The pitch will be complete in a week. How have your meetings been?” you ask in return, knowing your father is hiding something regarding them from you.
“Good, I reached a deal with the Strolls,” you stare at your father, silently requesting more information. You knew he was meeting with Lance’s father, but you were unsure what it was about.
“We have arranged a marriage, of course you can back out at any time, but it does give us access to luxury fashion brands,” your father says. It is a smart business deal, one you had thought of before. The only issue is that your family is better off and more powerful than the Strolls.
“Interesting. I will read over the agreed upon contract and give me thoughts,” you take the tablet from your father, reading the main points of the contract. Of course, it will be combed through and revised by your family’s lawyers, but you appreciate where the deal is at.
You see Lance next later that day. It was a complete accident, you were on a phone call sternly telling off a director who royally fucked up when you walked into the Canadian.
“Consider this your one and only warning,” you say before hanging up.
“Bad day?” Lance holds your arm to prevent you from falling.
“Average. I’ll get out of your hair, I’m sure you have plenty of people wanting to talk to you,” you hide a grimace as you sidestep Lance who follows you anyway.
“That’s okay, I have a feeling you need to vent and no one really wants me around here anyway,” Lance says, you get the same feeling that he had. He’s definitely hiding something. Lance leads you to the rooftop bar of the Aston Martin motorhome.
“It really wasn’t anything serious, well, it was. One of the directors screwed up, but I have a team fixing it. You heard me on the phone chastising him. Your turn to share,” you explain, drinking the complimentary booze.
“I usually try to not let the fans get to me, but sometimes it hurts. It’s not easy having people telling you that you suck at your job and shouldn’t be here,” Lance vents, trusting you enough to be vulnerable. It’s risky, but you both have a silent understanding of the tentative marriage contract.
“I’ve been there, the persona non grata. Have you tried being a business mogul as a young woman? It’s hard getting respect, especially when running and expanding family businesses,” you smile bitterly, looking out over the paddock before continuing.
“None of what they say matters. Every choice we make has gotten us here. Those fans don’t know how hard you’ve worked to get here. I made a ruthless reputation for myself to protect myself because I thought that was how I gained respect that never came. Don’t let that be you,” You finish the drink and stand.
“Wait, can we talk about-“ Lance starts and you know exactly what he wants to bring up.
“This isn’t the right place or time, perhaps after the race,” you say, turning and heading towards the exit, leaving Lance on the roof to think about your advice.
“Ah, Miss L/n, visiting your future family?” Lawrence says quietly, a little humor in his voice, but you see through it.
“Not at all, simply observing. If you think that the contract would gain you my money for sponsorship, then you’d be wrong. Good day, Mr. Stroll,” you say firmly, continuing your journey to the next team.
In the end, your decision surprises everyone. You provide a large sponsorship deal to Mercedes, after many teams expected you to sponsor Aston Martin having being spotted around Lance.
You renegotiated the marriage contract, agreeing to marry by the age 35, but it will be on yours and Lances terms and allows both of you to pull out before then.
Lance convinced you to go on one date, claiming it would be beneficial to have a good foundation for a potential marriage, a claim you couldn’t deny. One, turned into two, then three, then four, which turned into both of you quietly dating one another. You both we each others escapes and rocks.
Everything was going fine until media captured you and reserve driver Fred Vesti laughing at a sponsorship event. Apparently you two looked too cozy and the media was going to run a story on it. You are lucky enough to have connections that saw it before it was send off to publishing.
“Y/n L/n seen with reserve driver, Fred Vesti, at a sponsorship event for her company. We can’t help but wonder if she sponsored the team to get with a driver,” you read aloud part of the article to Lance, it’s the snippet you were sent as a warning, and from your experience there is usually more to whatever rumor they are spreading.
“They are vultures,” Lance huffs, holding you tighter in his arms.
“This is only the start. People read fake news like this and they believe it, then they get mad about it. You wouldn’t believe it,” you shake your head, might as well let it run, trying to kill it will make it worse.
“Is that why you want to wait?” Lance asks, running his thumb over your engagement ring, the one you only wear around your family and close friends, never in public.
“Consider this your warning about what will happen, but ten times worse,” you can only think of what the headlines will be. And if they get wind it started because of a contract? Inconceivable.
To Lance though, it would be worth it. He could go out and defend your relationship and to hell and back. You don’t know about how dark of a place he was in when you met him, and how you were able to help pull him out simply with your presence and your advice.
You may be a devil to the business world, but to him, you are an angel, his savior. He chose this life with you and he would do it again and again, even if there is danger being in a relationship with you.
He helped you too. You were thoughtless, didn’t quite care if you were mean and cold hearted. To you, the business world hated you, so you didn’t show them any care, only focusing on bettering your company and making a name for yourself. You may have swept in and rescued him, but he returned the favor.
A year later you announce your engagement and subsequent marriage. Of course. there are questions about your sponsorship interfering with your relationship -it won’t and it hasn’t- and assumptions it is all PR. Despite all the “warnings” about you, the two of you find the once thing you both wanted in each other. Happiness.
#f1 imagines#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#lance stroll x reader#lance stroll#lance stroll imagine#the tortured poets department#the albatross
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Title: Unspoken Words
Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hospital/Accident, Emotional Overload, Miscommunication, Hurt/Comfort, Crying Chan
Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader
Summary:
Bang Chan has always been the type to pour everything into his work, his friends, and his music—leaving little for the one person who needs him the most. On your anniversary, you find yourself sitting alone, waiting for him to notice the cracks in your relationship. But when the worst happens, Chan realizes too late how much he’s taken you for granted, and how far he’ll go to make it right.
Author’s Note:
Hey everyone, I hope you'll enjoy this! 💕 This one’s been sitting in my drafts for a while, and I’m so glad I finally finished it. It’s a bit angsty (okay, a lot angsty), but it has a happy ending. Just wanted to share my love for Chan and this idea I had about miscommunication and making up after a tough moment. I hope it hits right in the feels!
As always, feedback is welcome! Reblogs and comments are appreciated. 💖
✧・゚: ✧・゚: :・゚✧:・゚✧ ✧・゚: ✧・゚: :・゚✧:・゚✧✧・゚: ✧・゚: :・゚✧:・゚
Bang Chan had always been the kind of person who gave all of himself to others—his friends, his family, his music. It was one of the things you loved most about him. But lately, it felt like there was nothing left for you.
You sat in his studio, a place that once felt like your second home, the faint hum of his unfinished track filling the silence. He was in his chair, facing the monitors, hunched over his laptop as if you weren’t even there.
It was your anniversary. You’d been looking forward to this day for weeks, hoping it would be a chance to reconnect with him, to remind him that there was still a you and him beneath all the chaos of his life. But as you watched him work, barely acknowledging your presence, something inside you broke.
“Chan,” you called softly, your voice strained.
“Hmm?” he replied, not turning around.
You swallowed hard, fingers clenching the fabric of your sweater. “Did you forget what today is?”
He paused, his hands hovering over the keyboard. Slowly, he turned to face you, and the guilt in his eyes told you everything you needed to know.
“I—” he started, but you didn’t let him finish.
“You forgot,” you said, your voice trembling. “I can’t believe you actually forgot.”
“I’m sorry,” he said quickly, standing up. “I’ve just been so busy with this project, and I lost track of time. You know how much pressure I’m under right now.”
“Pressure?” you echoed, your voice rising. “Do you think I don’t know that? I’ve watched you work yourself into the ground for everyone else, Chan. But what about me? What about us?”
He frowned, running a hand through his hair. “You know how important this is. I don’t have the luxury to stop and—”
“To stop and what?” you interrupted, your voice cracking. “To stop and care about me? To stop and make me feel like I even matter to you anymore?”
“That’s not fair,” he said, his tone sharper now. “You do matter to me.”
“Then why don’t you show it?” you shot back, tears stinging your eyes. “Why do I always feel like an afterthought?”
The silence that followed was deafening. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but no words came out. And that was worse than anything he could’ve said.
You grabbed your bag, standing up. “You know what? Forget it. I can’t do this right now.”
“Wait—” he started, but you were already walking out the door.
The sound of it slamming shut echoed in your chest like a gunshot.
You didn’t hear from him after that. Days turned into a week, and with each passing moment, the ache in your chest grew heavier. You kept hoping he’d call, that he’d apologize, that he’d say something. But he didn’t.
And so you told yourself it was over.
Chan, on the other hand, was falling apart. He’d thrown himself even deeper into his work, hoping it would distract him from the gaping hole you’d left behind. But it didn’t work. Every note he wrote sounded wrong, every lyric felt empty.
Your voice haunted him, the way it cracked when you said, Why don’t you show it? He wanted to call you, to tell you he was sorry, to promise he’d do better. But every time he picked up his phone, he froze. What if you didn’t want to hear from him? What if it was too late?
It was the day of a major performance, one of the biggest stages of his career. The members were buzzing with excitement, but Chan felt nothing. His mind was somewhere else—on you.
He sat backstage, scrolling through old photos on his phone. There was one of you from months ago, sitting in his studio, laughing at something stupid he’d said. You looked so happy then. He stared at the photo, his chest tightening.
He should’ve called you. He should’ve done something, anything, to fix what he’d broken.
His phone buzzed, pulling him out of his thoughts. It was a call from a mutual friend. Frowning, he answered.
“Hello?”
“Chan.” The voice on the other end was frantic. “It’s Y/N. They—they were in an accident.”
The world stopped.
“What?” he breathed, his heart pounding.
“They were hit by a car. They’re at the hospital. I thought you should know.”
Chan didn’t hear the rest. He was already on his feet, ignoring the confused looks from the members as he grabbed his things and bolted out the door.
When Chan arrived at the hospital, he felt like he couldn’t breathe. The smell of antiseptic, the fluorescent lights, the sterile white walls—it all felt wrong.
A nurse directed him to your room, and when he saw you lying there, bruised and unconscious, he broke.
He sank into the chair beside your bed, his hands trembling as he reached for yours. “Y/N…” His voice cracked.
The guilt was suffocating. This was his fault. If he hadn’t pushed you away, if he had just been there for you, maybe this wouldn’t have happened.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, tears streaming down his face. “I should’ve called you. I should’ve told you how much you mean to me. I’m such an idiot,” Chan choked out, gripping your hand as if letting go would make you disappear. “I’ve been so caught up in everything else that I forgot the one thing that matters most—you.”
His voice wavered as he kept talking, even though you couldn’t hear him. “I thought I was doing the right thing, working so hard for our future. But what’s the point of any of it if I’m not there for you? If I can’t even make you feel loved?”
The room was silent except for the steady beep of the heart monitor. It was the only reassurance he had that you were still here, still fighting.
“I don’t know if you can hear me, but I need you to wake up,” he whispered, leaning closer. “Please, Y/N. I need to make this right. I need to tell you how much I love you, how sorry I am for everything. Just… just give me one more chance.”
His tears fell freely now, and he pressed your hand to his forehead, his body shaking with quiet sobs.
Hours passed. Chan refused to leave your side, ignoring the nurses who told him to take a break. He stayed there, holding your hand, whispering apologies and promises into the quiet.
When you finally stirred, it was so faint he almost missed it. Your fingers twitched against his, and his head shot up, eyes wide with hope.
“Y/N?” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
Your eyelids fluttered open, your gaze unfocused at first before it landed on him. “Chan…?”
Relief washed over him so intensely it felt like he might collapse. “You’re awake,” he breathed, his hand tightening around yours. “Oh my God, you’re awake.”
You winced, the pain from your injuries making it hard to move. “What… happened?”
“You were in an accident,” he said quickly, his voice thick with emotion. “But you’re okay now. You’re going to be okay.”
You frowned slightly, confusion mixing with the lingering hurt from the fight. “Why are you here?”
Chan’s heart broke all over again at your words. He leaned closer, his eyes red-rimmed and filled with regret. “Because I love you,” he said, his voice trembling. “And I’m so, so sorry for everything. For making you feel like you didn’t matter. For not being there when you needed me.”
Tears welled up in your eyes as you remembered the fight, the pain of walking away from him that night. “I thought you didn’t care anymore,” you whispered, your voice raw.
“I care more than anything,” he said, his hand gently cupping your face. “I was just too stupid to show it. I let my work consume me, and I took you for granted. But I swear to you, Y/N, I’ll never make that mistake again. You’re the most important person in my life, and I’ll do whatever it takes to prove that to you.”
Your tears spilled over, and you leaned into his touch, the warmth of his hand grounding you. “I just wanted to feel like I mattered to you,” you said softly.
“You do,” he said, his voice breaking. “You always have. I’m so sorry I made you feel otherwise.”
Chan stayed by your side for the rest of the night, refusing to leave even when the nurses tried to insist. He helped you drink water, adjusted your blanket when you shivered, and whispered soft reassurances whenever you seemed restless.
As the hours passed, the weight of the fight began to lift. There were still things that needed to be said, wounds that needed time to heal, but for now, you were together. And that was enough.
The next morning, as the sunlight filtered through the hospital curtains, you woke to find Chan still sitting beside you, his head resting on the edge of your bed. His hand was still wrapped around yours, his grip firm even in sleep.
“Chan,” you whispered, gently brushing his hair out of his face.
He stirred, his eyes fluttering open. When he saw you looking at him, a tired but relieved smile spread across his face. “Hey,” he said softly.
“Hey,” you replied, your voice still weak but steady.
He sat up, his expression serious. “How are you feeling? Do you need anything? Water? The nurse?”
You shook your head. “I just need you.”
His eyes filled with tears again, but this time they were tears of gratitude. “I’m not going anywhere,” he promised. “Not now, not ever.”
You squeezed his hand, a small smile tugging at your lips despite the pain. “Good. Because I’m not letting you off the hook that easily.”
He chuckled, wiping his eyes. “Fair enough. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”
And you believed him.
True to his word, Chan made changes. He started setting boundaries at work, learning to say no when things became too overwhelming. He made sure to carve out time for you, even if it was just an hour at the end of a long day to sit and talk.
It wasn’t perfect. There were still moments of stress, arguments, and the occasional doubt. But the difference was that he never let the silence linger. He made it a point to tell you how much he loved you, how grateful he was for your patience, and how sorry he was for ever making you feel unimportant.
And every time he did, you reminded him that love wasn’t about being perfect—it was about showing up, even when things were messy and hard.
Together, you rebuilt what had been broken, one word, one moment, and one promise at a time.
#bang chan#stray kids#skz#stray kids fanfic#stray kids angst#bang chan fanfic#bang chan angst#stray kids fluff#bang chan fluff
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