#let me know if you want a specific genre/type of music rec too

[concerthopperblog]

Exclusive Interview: Andrew Laffan of Fractured Fortune

Hayley recently met with Andrew Laffan, the lead singer of Fractured Fortune. We had the opportunity to interview Andrew before the band's performance as the opening act for Secrets at the Rec Room in Buffalo, NY on May 10th. This was a significant milestone for the band as it was their first performance outside Rochester, NY. The members of Fractured Fortune have been consistently making progress in the music industry. Let's delve into Andrew's thoughts on their upcoming show and uncover some exciting details about the band.

H: Hey Andrew it's Hayley here with Concerthopper I hope all is well with you I'm excited to hear about your upcoming show with Secrets how are you feeling about that?

A: We’re really stoked to share the stage with incredibly talented artists like Secrets, Colorblind, Glasslands, and Unwell. It will be the band’s first time out in Buffalo, so we’re hoping to put on an entertaining show to show all the beautiful people in Buffalo what we’re about.

H: I really love that this is your first time playing in Buffalo!

A: Hell Yeah! Me too!

H: I was wondering if you could tell me a little bit about the story behind your band's name.

A: I’m glad you asked. Since I joined a little bit later after the band had already put out their first EP & single, I definitely deferred back to their knowledge about the band's history and they told me that they, the first name that they had was, they were called Falling Face First and they changed the name to Fractured Fortune because it sounded cooler.

H: That’s interesting, I'm gonna jump to the next, to question four. What motivated you to choose your current career path?

A: Personally, music played a very pivotal role in my youth and it inspired me to start writing back in like seventh grade and it wasn't really until my senior year of high school that I really even attempted to do vocals and I was inspired by artists and singers like Craig Mabbitt from when he was in Blessthefall and Ronnie Winter from the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus and then I kind of quickly transitioned to learning how to scream from like influences like Alex Kohler from, he was originally in Chelsea Grin and he's now in Emiona and Oliver Sykes from Bringing the Horizon and then I later developed that I was able to use my writing therapeutically and have the ability to release them in a live setting and that really solidified the newly developed place that music has become as part of my lifestyle.

H: That honestly is kind of inspiring for me too since I love listening to Blessthefall and Red Jumpsuit Apparatus personally who's helped me gotten into even taking pictures myself of bands that I love, I just took pictures of Movements a couple of weeks ago and yeah, I feel you on the motivation side of this.

H: That brings me to my next question. Your music is unique and deserves a description that captures you guys as a band. So tell me how would you describe that?

A: We consider ourselves to be metalcore with deathcore tendencies. We don't really confine ourselves to like trying to fit a specific type of genre, you know, so as you said, it's like it's pretty unique and we'd like to keep it that way, you know, we'll kind of just write whatever we feel.

H: Right, you could see a lot of shift with bands nowadays just kind of switching up completely like Bring Me the Horizon's a perfect example, like kind of that techno rap mixed with the screamo.

A: Oh yeah, they've done whatever they wanted, really. They've really expressed themselves through music.

H: Even like Knocked Loose, did you guys listen to that new song with Poppy?

A: Oh, it's so fucking good. It's so good.

H: I was shocked because I did not like her live performance, but hearing that song was like, what?

A: Yeah, it really showed that more diverse side.

H: I'm curious, are you guys gonna be releasing a full-length album anytime soon?

A: We're currently finishing up recording some stuff with Ryan Wirth from Aphasia and we're very stoked to be sharing some of that come like the summer and fall. I can't say too much about it, but I have no doubts about it being in your daily rotation.

H: So do you think you might surprise us on the show and play something new?

A: Oh, we're definitely playing a new song on Monday at the Secret Show for sure. Yeah. It's gonna be great.

H: Tell me how you would prepare before performing to bring high energy to the stage.

A: I mean as a band we like to like bring it in and you know start the right before the set and like set it off right with some positivity, you know kind of encouragement and stuff and like realizing that we all notice the mistakes that we make as a band, but the crowd rarely ever does and that It helps me give the most genuine performance which is really my therapeutic release, you know, I rarely get stage fright and being on stage has a very natural feel for me.

H: That's good to hear so I can't wait for that. yeah, what would you do if anybody in the crowd appeared tired or bored and didn't seem too interested?

A: Uh, luckily my band has my back when it comes to being on stage and hyping up the crowd typically the music that we write and perform has a very Drivey feeling to it and at least had everyone's moving their head I Mean, I'm definitely not afraid to like get in the crowd as well and start moving people myself.

H: What's your favorite track to play for your fans?

A: My personal favorite is “Malevolence” but the song “Mindless Trepidation” follows close behind.

H: Is “Malevolence” one of the singles you guys recently dropped?

A: Oh, it is definitely the most recent single we dropped back in February.

H: All right, good s***. I'll have to take another listen to it

A: Yeah, it's got Justin from Perelandra in it right at the end. He does a killer job on that feature.

H: Can you explain your creative process and how you would generate new ideas?

A: I typically like to work with the music and kind of feel out each part and how it all coincides with the feel of the song is as its own piece when I'm not working with music though, I like to take a feeling or a mindset and then dive into that perspective About a certain topic or feeling an approach from like a storytelling perspective and Just try different ways to approach a similar outcome, you know what I mean? Yeah, I try and jot down words that come to mind about something if I get stuck and like build off that.

H: Could you provide some insights and how you manage your personal life professional goals and responsibilities?

A: I have to give a lot of credit to my fiancé for having my back and supporting this aspect of my life And I mean, I've got a few kids and juggling work as well as you know, being a dad and And then implementing band practices and stuff Can certainly be difficult I'm very thankful that my kids enjoy listening to me scream and practice throughout the house makes it a little bit easier I've definitely had to prioritize music over other things that I've done in my past like soccer and martial arts. So it's it takes some prioritization if it's something that's really important, you know what I mean? You just can't say oh, it's important I want to do this and then put it on a back burner and then try and implement it sporadically and see It makes it easier if you prioritize it.

H: Yeah, I get that Honestly, I feel you coming from the same boat I work at a car dealership during the day, and then at night trying to get out early to come out to these shows can be hard but Yeah, it's worth it though.

A: Definitely Yeah, I do massage therapy by by sunlight and then by moonlight, you know, I'm on stage and You kind of have to have another job as an artist starting out as well because being an artist is expensive 

H: But honestly, that's exciting to know that like you do massage therapy, too It's like two different universes mashed together

A: Definitely. It's definitely cool. I also have to thank grandparents for helping out with making this possible so that you know, I'm able to go up there and do my thing on stage. 

H: Wow, that's awesome that you have a great support system to back you up. 

A: Oh, yeah. Shout out to the grandparents for sure

H: Can you please tell me what project stands out the most memorable to you and what has made it memorable?

A: So one of the first bands that I was able to perform on stage with was a band called Transcendence that I started with a few of my buddies and it definitely holds a very special place in my heart I was able to work with some of my best friends and create perform very unique and personal music that helped me shape how I approached writing and fully utilize its therapeutic aspects of my life and I made some incredible friendships along the way. We were able to open for some incredible national acts like Suicide Silence Kingdom of Giants an ERRA and Upon A Burning Body, Those boys were just great.

H: What advice would you offer to someone new to your field?

A: Keep practicing. You have to always remember there's room to grow and there are always new things you can master you have to be patient with yourself and for vocals specifically don't do it if it hurts it's usually not good and then make sure you develop your own sound and keep in mind when you're going up on stage you have to become the entertainer.

H: That's honestly good advice because I feel like depending on the band a lot of times they’ll just show up there and then you know just stand there and do their thing and they don't have that energy and they don't entertain the crowd.

A: Right. It looks like they're at practice, right? But like you're up there to perform, you know, it's a stage Should always utilize that.

H: I was listening to some of your songs when I was writing a little snippet about you guys as a band for the Secrets article that I'm working on. Honestly, out of all the songs, I know you recently joined Fractured Fortune But I like “Cruella De Vil”. Out of all of the songs that you have which ones are your favorite?

A: Well since I joined the band after they released Lunar Place and the next one that was released had me on it I'm kind of biased To which one I like So I'm gonna have to say Malevolence. But I also like creatures of habit for sure that one definitely is very cool to perform live. It has a good energy about it And I'm sure this new stuff will be will just blow your socks off.

H: I'm really excited

A: Yeah, me too Ryan Wirth has done an incredible job

I'm incredibly grateful to Andrew for sparing some time to chat about his band, Fractured Fortune. Don't forget to follow ConcertHopper on our Instagram and Facebook pages for more exciting upcoming events! Keep on hopping!

[bellamysgriffin]

Okay, now I’m curious to know some of your favorite albums if you don’t mind? ‘Cause I can relate A LOT to the way you see Ms. Swift’s albums. And I’m searching for good music, so please give me recs! (Old & new.)

oh boy!! gear up, because i LOVE talking music.

pop:

rae by ashe & ashlyn by ashe (she's such a unique voice in pop today <3)

begin to hope by regina spektor

emails i can't send by sabrina carpenter

strangers forever by maude latour

woman on the internet by orla gartland

build a problem by dodie

bad together by rozzi

ed buys houses by sidney gish

gracetown by san cisco

wrong crowd by tom odell

bad ideas by tessa violet

some feelings by julia nunes

tell it to the volcano by miniature tigers

cuz i love you by lizzo

don't get dark by del water gap

be ok by ingrid michaelson

country:

you don't own me anymore by the secret sisters (LOVING this one lately)

jolene by dolly parton

out among the stars & american IV by johnny cash

lady & gentlemen by leeann rimes

rock:

jade bird by jade bird (OH MY GOD!!!!!)

odessey and oracle by the zombies

hotel tv by lawrence (this is sorta pop/rock/r&b fusion)

combat sports by the vaccines

bad self portraits by lake street dive (my favs)

playing chess by elise legrow

back to black by amy winehouse (EVERYTHING BY HER!)

chills and fever by samantha fish

songs for a sinking ship by april smith and the great picture show

we need medicine by the fratellis

the stranger by billy joel

love tattoo by imelda may

folk/indie:

in between dreams by jack johnson

songs of leonard cohen by leonard cohen (oh my god everything this man touches is GENIUS, he is probably my favorite lyricist of all time)

bridge over troubled water and sounds of silence by simon and garfunkel

wide awake & feathers and fishooks by rayland baxter

autumn fallin' by jaymay

maple ridge by swear and shake

healing and a remedy by upstate (SO underrated, one of my fav albums of all time is healing)

dead and born and grown by the staves

how i knew her by nataly dawn (SO GOOD)

jazz/r&b

lady soul by aretha franklin

lo-fi soul by haley reinhart

somewhere in between by eloise

it could happen to you by chet baker

the jerome kern songbook by ella fitzgerald

the astrud gilberto album by astrud gilberto

ella swings lightly by ella fitzgerald

songs from the heart by johnny hartman

in the wee small hours by frank sinatra

cocktail by rose colella

yesterday i had the blues by jose james

ella and louis by ella fitzgerald and louis armstrong (maybe my fav of all time?)

careless love by madeleine peyroux

[aerequets]

can you give me some webtoon recommendations? name some of your favorites! :)

i am here to answer folks 😎

all of these webtoons can be found on webtoons.com! I'm not sure about the whole daily pass thing they've got going on (which sucks tbh) but like,,, you could probably find it online illegally. NOT THAT I CONDONE ILLEGAL ACTIVITY HAHAHAHA ᵖˢˢᵗ ⁱᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ˡᵒᵒᵏ ⁱᵗ'ˢ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ

I'll split these up between completed and in progress :) most are still in progress though

COMPLETED

1) Gourmet Hound (166 chapters)

this is like, my all time favorite webtoon. it follows Lucy and her quest to find all the chefs that left her favorite restaurant, Dimanche! it’s a really heartfelt story and the food illustrations make you really hungry, so make sure you have a snack before you sit down to read it. each character’s name is also food-related, so that’s pretty cool too! and the diversity in this webtoon is AMAZING. it’s the only webtoon i’ve ever read that has a hijabi character in the main cast. the development is done really well and it explores themes of loving and letting go. all in all, it has a bit of everything. i personally love food-related things, and this centers around it, so i was set LOL

(also a bonus is that this webtoon has NOT succumbed to daily pass hell, so you can binge read the whole thing. legally.)

2) Hooky (200 chapters)

if you like stories of witches, this is the one! the summary and beginning chapters are deceptively lighthearted. DO NOT BE FOOLED! the story really develops further on and explores numerous conflicts, a big one being (if i remember correctly) witch vs. nonwitch. if you like to see struggles between two sides, not a good-and-evil but just people-who-want-the-best-for-themselves-and-their-loved-ones type of thing, this is good for that. also, sibling love! the two main characters are Dani and Dorian, and while there is someee romance, i like how this story centers around the siblings first and foremost. ALSO THE ART??? I LOVE HOW THE AUTHOR DRAWS SETTINGS SO MUCH and am unabashedly jealous because i am completely incapable of doing so   just like,,,, even if the story doesn’t pull you in, you can at least stare at each panel for long stretches of time.

(unfortunately succumbed to daily pass, but you can read it on mangaowl or manganelo!)

3) Spirit Fingers (167 chapters)

aww, this one is cute. Amy is 18 and lacking in self confidence (her family definitely doesn’t help). but HEY she joins a wacky art club!! without her parents knowing!! HECK YEAH!! unfortunately it takes more than joining an art club for her to learn to love herself (it is a long journey after all!). i love this webtoon because it explores the problems of multiple people, not just amy: her high achieving brothers, her mother who had to give up her dream, the different members in the art club, Amy’s girl friends. the art is unique and has a cool watercolor-y texture! and the main couple is just adorable, too. if you’re an artist especially, i recommend this because that’s a big theme and you get to see these characters expand their art styles! which is very cool!

(you can read this one fully on 1stkissmanga)

now here’s where the majority of my recs are:

IN PROGRESS (all can be read on webtoon.com)

1) The Makeup Remover (currently 71 chapters)

i look forward to this every tuesday and friday because oh man!!!!!!!!! idk about you guys, but i am thinking about beauty standards A Large Amount of the time, especially when i consume media. and this webtoon is all about beauty standards (specifically in Korea, but still applicable like. everywhere). Main character Yeseul ends up having to partake in this beauty competition and, with her experiences through it, she begins seeing makeup and beauty standards for the huge role they play in society. i said it already but i LOVE LOVE LOVE this webtoon because it really challenges you as a reader to think about your own perspectives. why do we find the things/people beautiful that we do? what shapes our perception? how much of it is marketing, and how much of it shows in our daily lives? what assumptions do you make about people based on how they look? AGHH im sounding like an essay prompt instead of a reviewer but man. if you like webtoons that examine society through a critical lens (gosh i sound like an english teacher), this is the one. 

2) Odd Girl out (currently 261 chapters; on season 2) 

okay, first and foremost: if you’re NOT into long winded drama, this probably isn’t it for you. i will admit im not a fan of long problems that get dragged out, especially in a school setting, but i did keep reading this webtoon and i am glad that i did! the character development here is amazing and ONE CRUCIAL THING is that the whole first season (which is many, many chapters. at least over 100) focuses on the friendship between our main 4 girls. if you don’t wanna wait for a romance storyline (which comes in season 2), then you’ve gotta have the patience of a saint. i loved this though because lots of romance webtoons cast friendships aside or use them to further the romantic plot. platonic relationships are great to read about and this one does it masterfully! main character nari is resilient and emotionally strong, and it’s great to see her ruin her enemies

3) Cursed Princess Club (currently 110 chapters; on break before the final season)

this is another one about beauty and societal expectations, but in a fantasy setting! it’s really funny and the cast of characters is heartwarming. Gwen is a princess, but she doesn’t look like the typical princess. she accidentally stumbles upon the Cursed Princess Club, which is exactly what it sounds like: a club for princesses that have been cursed and are trying to find their self worth despite not being conventional princesses! now that i think about it, this is like a lighthearted mixture of Makeup Remover and Spirit Fingers. although while i do say “lighthearted”, this webtoon has its fair share of mysteries and exploration of deeper topics. but its funny throughout

4) Brass & Sass (currently 83 chapters)

ahh this one is really cute and the art is cute, too! i also like how this has a diverse cast. high schooler Camilla kinda sucks at band, but dangit if she’s not passionate. Victor is some type of musical prodigy but he’s a brass-hole (hahaha get it. no that’s not original i ripped it from the summary). now i KNOW I KNOW, the whole “perky girl and asshole guy” is so overplayed BUT DON’T FRET! this isn’t the type of story where the girl “fixes” the guy, or where the guy is an asshole to everyone except the girl. believe me, the character development and relationship development in this story is SPLENDID. there’s no real antagonist. it’s just a bunch of high schoolers trying their best to make themselves and everyone else happy, and that’s hard! the story is carried more by the characters than by the plot, but it works well in this case since the characters are strong and each one has a presence. 

5) Surviving Romance (currently 10 chapters)

this one is relatively new compared to my other recs but it’s by the author of the Makeup Remover so yaknow i had to hop on it. BUT IT IS VERY DIFFERENT! first off, it’s a horror, so keep that in mind. the best way i can describe it is a mixture of the standard “girl falls into a story” genre, Groundhog Day, and zombies. Yeah. Bascially, Chaerin is our main girl and she’s in a romance story that’s she’s read a bajillion times, so she knows the day has come for her male lead to confess his love! except he doesn’t! because he becomes a zombie instead! hahaha well that sucks! it’s only got 10 chapters but i am very into it, and it seems to be taking an emphasis on platonic relationships, so i am very closely watching 👁👁

6) The Witch and the Bull (currently 60 chapters) 

another witch story! and the art is GORGEOUS. more witch + nonwitch conflict, too! our main dude, Tan, is the royal advisor and he’s hella bigoted against witches. our main girl, Aro, happens to be a witch. and Tan needs her help to make him into a human again (because he got turned into a bull. that is worth mentioning). this is a very barebones summary and there’s a lot more that goes on, but that’s the general gist of the beginning!

ANYWAYS. this got very long, predictably, and i rambled for each title, predictably. i’ve got more that i’m reading, but i really like these 9! i also made comments on the art for a lot of them, which might not matter to some people, but i feel like my art was very impacted by each webtoon i read. if you’re an artist i recommend finding a webtoon you like and studying the art; try implementing parts you like into your own style! 

anyways, i am FINALLY done talking. bye yall 

[transmasc-wizard]

@letters-to-lgbt-kids' 22 Questions for Nonbinary November!

1.Which labels do you use? Transmasculine, nonbinary, genderqueer, nonbinary trans guy, transmasc. (only counting gender labels)

2.What are your pronouns? he/they! No preference.

3.How old were you when you came out to yourself as nonbinary? Uh... idk exactly but it was like a year ago? ish? depends on whether you count the other 3 times i came out to myself lmao.

4.What’s one thing you’d like to tell your younger self? "hey there's actually a Reason you hate being called pretty and avoid mirrors like the plague and really want a flat chest. Wild, right"

5.Is there a myth about nonbinary people that annoys you the most? that we're all unaligned and want to be androgynous. I DO want to be andro, in the sense of being fem and masc at the same time, but others don't. Also, i'm masc-alligned.

6.Is there a nonbinary celebrity you look up to? This might be cheap lol but Demi Lovato, i like their music, so... yeah.

7.If you’re out, how did you come out? I am not ~technically~ out. But my friend knows; i was like "hey i think im transmasc" and she said "ok cool". but i came out to my family and it was. interesting lmao

8.Is there a gender-related pun you like? non-beenary. Also: trans people should handle the money because everything we do is a transaction im so sorry

9.Do you have friends who identify as nonbinary, too? friend-ish people, yeah. Also i have a friend who jokes she's "{name}gender" and says he is ok with literally any pronouns so... we may have an egg here.

10.Do you have a favorite lgbt+ character? Hmmmm Nico Di Angelo is my namesake but i honestly can't pick lmao.

11. Lgbt, lgbt+, lgbtqa+… which one do you usually use? Queer. I have a long, long post explaining why, but i hate being called LGBT unless you also call me queer lmao

12. How do you explain the term “nonbinary” to people who have no idea what it means? "i do not vibe with gender". or, "boy is here, girl is here, no gender is here, and i am here" *points between boy and no gender*. they usually get it

13.Tell us a fun fact about yourself (gender-related or random!) i am absolutely obsessed with books and if you want a book of any genre or type or trope just ask me via asks or anon and i will throw ALL THE RECS at u

14.How did you find your name? I stole it from Nico Di Angelo <3

15.If you’re in a relationship, how did your partner react to your coming-out? I'm a single pringle who doesn't wanna mingle lol, but my FRIENDS were all pretty good (except one. she's a transphobic asshole and i kinda hate her now)

16.Do you prefer partner, datemate, significant other or something else? i mean i've never dated and don't really wanna but my theoretical partner would call me boyfriend or partner in crime. the "in crime" would not be optional and i would not date someone who would object to it

17.A piece of advice for questioning kids? don't treat labels like they own you. E.g. if you ID as straight then really wanna date a boy/girl/ur gender, don't jump thru hoops explaining away that emotion--just use bi or pan or something else that fits. Also, it's ok to change labels!! i did like 20 times before i settled on my labels i've been using for about 8 months now!!

18.Which flag(s) do you use? nonbinary, genderqueer, aroace, bi, trans, transmasculine, asexual, aromantic. Look em up urself, tumblr won't let me post the images

19.Any tips for bad days? read a book. write a story. draw a picture. it doesn't have to be good, just do it. it helps

20.Do you have a favorite nonbinary blog on tumblr? i like @neopronounsmybelovaed, @lgb-positivi-t (not NB specific tho), and @letters-to-lgbt-kids (also not nonbinary specific tho). idk i havent seen a lot of NB blogs--reccomendations are appreciated!

21.Feminine, masculine, androgynous - or none of those things? i would like to be all of them at once but also femme but also manly masc boy but also 'my gender is gay and my sexuality is nonbinary' but also do not percieve me but ALSO-- (u get the idea)

22. What are your three favorite things about yourself? ah fuck uh. i like my writing. I like my ability to usually find good friends. i like how i will literally consume All The Information related to the things i like (in other words, talk to me about the raven cycle or writing pls).

[frenchibi]

hey, so i thought maybe you could tell us a little what you're currently interested in? ♥ like, what have you been doing during quarantine, are there any new shows you watched that you enjoyed a lot, did you maybe take up a new hobby or something? :)

Hello!! I did not forget this lovely message, I was just in no state to answer (who’d have thought that recovery from surgery is, y’know, taxing) BUT I’M BACK NOW and ohhhh do you know what you’ve unlocked by asking me this question...?? I cannot give you a comprehensive list but I can tell you a couple of the things that I got into during quarantine, and the things I am currently super passionate about! My memory is, uh, not great but thankfully I do journal and write down things so I am confident I can answer this for you :D (plus I do always love recommending things so - aaa??? Thank you for this ask????)

Putting things under a cut because I physically cannot chill but if tl;dr I want you to take away one thing from this it’s that everyone should read Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir. Thoughts below.

(Also. I would love to go off about my interests more on here but am not sure what... shape that should ideally take? Text posts? IDK pls give me suggestions, help me out?? dfhasjkldf)

Movies

I have not seen many, but I can and will scream about The Old Guard over and over because... it was everything I never knew I needed in an action movie?? I don’t reblog many things about it anymore but I love love LOVED it!!

Also, upon recommendation by one of my friends from India, I have been delving into the world of Bollywood movies and WOW Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara was so fucking good??? idk if it’s on Netflix in every country but it is in mine and I highly recommend it. It’s thoughtful, honest, emotional and shot absolutely gorgeously, and it also has that cheesiness that is just... so good... sometimes you just need the cheese y’know???

(Side note, 2020 was the year I saw Pride and Prejudice (2005) for the first time and I am a changed woman. It is now my ultimate comfort movie. Please see it if you have not, I cannot believe it took me this long. I saw it for the first time on an airplane (in january... a lifetime ago) and have seen it many, many times since.)

TV Shows

So, to everyone’s shock but especially my own, I have not really been into TV lately? I watched The Boys because my brother recommended it (it’s good, but gorey and pulls no punches, the R rating is deserved), and recently started watching Jujutsu Kaisen because my sister recommended it (I haven’t watched a new anime in like a year which is kinda wild to me? But I am enjoying this one - the opening SLAPS and what I’ve seen so far has been fun! Plus I’m watching it with my sister and I like sending her reactions xD),,, and that’s pretty much it for this category?? I am aware there is a LOT of good shit out there I just.. .don’t seem to have the attention span for multiple episodes of a Thing these days. Meh. I’m sure it’ll come back to me eventually ^^

Musical Theater

One of the main reasons I think I haven’t been big into TV is because my Musical Passion is in FULL SWING (haha get it). Probably because the only thing that has remained for me during this quarantine is my singing lessons (and lemme tell you... over skype, that shit is ROUGH but still better than not singing at all) and I have been obsessing over learning new songs and finding shows through recommendations and compilation videos on youtube... So.

Shows I listen to a lot these days include Starry, Anastasia, The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals, Come From Away (I made a post recently specifically about musicals, you should be able to find it under #French speaks) - specific songs in my range that I am currently learning and obsessing over include “Bring on the men” from Jekyll and Hyde, “The Mad Hatter” from Wonderland, “Show Yourself” from Frozen 2 (I liked it ok I DID), and “Go Tonight” from The Mad Ones (this one makes me cry... I’m making my sister duet it with me bc I can’t stop thinking about it).

Also, if you’re interested in hearing me sing things, head over to my instagram where I post covers (and also art)!!

(Musical people, I am curious to hear opinions about Great Comet, and also The Count of Monte Cristo - two shows I’ve been meaning to check out!)

Video Games

Listen. Animal Crossing New Horizons is awesome and I’m glad I have it (...give me Brewster back, Nintendo, or I WILL RIOT), but I have been branching out into other games for the Switch (might as well make this purchase worth it amirite) - current faves include Celeste (which is SO HARD but also SO FUCKING FUN) and Spiritfarer which I specifically bought to play at the hospital bc I knew I was going to be there for a few days, and let me tell you - best decision of 2020. Please watch the trailer if you haven’t heard of it, it’s GORGEOUS and beautiful and emotional and I loved every second of it. Both of these can also be purchased for PC and I think they are definitely worth the investment!!

In other news I’m back on my Stardew Valley bullshit. It’s just so calming.I revisit it a lot lmao

Books

So... I have been reading. A LOT. I read over 70 books this year, which for me is... average tbh? I have had some less productive reading months but overall I have torn through stuff and BOY do I have recommendations if you want them?? For the sake of brevity I will only mention a few here:

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir “Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted gothic palace in space”. That is all. This was my first five star fiction book of the year and I will never be done screaming about it. There is a dedicated but smallish fandom here on tumblr and it deserves SO MUCH MORE. Please, please please. Everyone should read this damn book. It’s confusing in the beginning but I promise it’s worth it IT’S SO GOOD!! And also the sequel is out and it’s also confusing and SO GOOD!!!

Educated by Tara Westover. This is an autobiography and it’s one of those books that like. Stick in your mind for months after you’ve read it. It’s about how this woman escaped an abusive household that was religiously oppressive and also like... survivalist (prepping for the apocalypse) and avidly believed in conspiracy theories - by educating herself, working her way up to going to Harvard. Nothing I say could do the emotional impact of this book justice - and also just, the perspective this book gave me?? Incredible. Education is the most powerful tool and this woman grabbed it by the hair and did not let go and I was FLOORED. Everyone should read this. I don’t even usually read biographies but DAMN.

The Winternight trilogy by Katherine Arden.(Book 1 is called The Bear and the Nightingale). This is a bit of a slow burn type deal - it’s a retelling of a Russian fairy tale (I think?? Or like a folk... story? Something like that) and it is just. So magical. It’s not fast paced but it works up to FANTASTIC moments, the focus is on family and magic and change and “making your own way” and all three of these books were wonderful. It reminded me of Naomi Novic’s Uprooted and Spinning Silver (both of which I also loved back in 2019 and would highly recommend) and they are PERFECT winter reads if you’re looking for something to get cozy with. I liked book 1 well enough but books 2 and 3 knocked it out of the park. Fantastic. Loved them.

I have many more recs but this will do for now hahah

Music

Gonna keep this brief too - my music taste is all over the place, but here are some songs I have been obsessed with recently!! Beware of genre whiplash though because these are Very Different from one another (and different from the musical theater stuff above)

Factories - Autoheart (that bridge gets me every time, idk why. This is one I could have on repeat for hours and not get tired of it either. Something about it just gets me!!)

History Read - The Altogether (The lyrics!! Tbh the entire Silo album is GREAT, but this one is my fave. Their music is so... mellow, in the best way??)

Weather Man - Valley of Wolves (ok this one is just a banger. I’m a sucker for a good sing-along-able hook (that’s not a word. you get me though right) and this fucking DELIVERS. I also just think “I make these dark skies blue, I make these mountains move, let the rain come down, I’m pushing through.... [pause] ... ‘cause I’m the weather man” is such good execution of a concept?? That PAUSE GETS ME it’s just SO FUN?!?! idk man I like a good upbeat banger and this is that.)

I believe (get over yourself) - Nico Vega (this one is just a callout at myself tbh?? “you’re a fool” I AM and I needed to hear it?? It’s also SO FUN to sing!!! We love a banger.)

Kiss me you animal - Burn the Ballroom (mentioning this mainly because it reminded me, lyrically, of Gideon the Ninth and I need someone to confirm this for me before I go insane?? “everybody knows that home is where your teeth sink, love” - I mean c’mon??? Also it’s a banger. I do like some rock from time to time... and this also has a killer driving bassline. This is super fun to drive to, too!!)

((If we have overlap and anyone wants to exchange playlists with me - I am SO here for it. Always looking for new music!!! I mean it!!))

Youtube

Last and certainly not least... meet my newest hyperfixation!!! I have always loved watching video essays, and booktube videos, and arttube videos - and my current niche of favorite creators is the Polygon video team!! They made videos about video games and board games and anything gaming-related and I just. I’m only peripherally a “gamer(TM)” but I love anything and everything they create. (Also you don’t have to know much about video games to enjoy all of their content!! A lot of it is still accessible to Non-Gamers(TM) or casual gamers!) BDG is my new favorite creator, the Unraveled series he does on the channel is a work of genius - but I have also started watching their streams and older series and I am enjoying myself SO MUCH! I love boardgames so their series on them, Overboard, is so fun and entertaining (and I already know a bunch of games I want to buy based on seeing the gameplay), and it also made me invested in the other creators - particularly Simone, I would die for Simone?? And Pat? And Jenna? They each have their niche and they work really well together too and their videos are my Main Serotonin Machine in these trying times(TM), thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Also. If you’re already following me here and you are familiar with Polygon things I BEG YOU TO COME AND TALK TO ME ABOUT THEM because I am like, bursting, but I also don’t want to flood my dash with stuff that 99% of my followers are unfamiliar with y’know??

...I think I’m going to leave it at this - it’s already a lot!

But thank you once again for asking and for letting me Go Off about things I am interested in!! I just... I very often wish I could do this more, but I’m not sure how to go about it? Should I just do text posts about things?? Would that be interesting to anyone?? Or is that like, annoying? Should I start a review blog or something? dhfajkldhf I just want to talk about things that excite me, but whenever I’m here I often just stick to reblogging other people’s stuff... help?? What do y’all want to see??

[taerseok]

— epilogue : reunion | j.j.k

↬ pairing:. j.j.k × reader

↬ synopsis:. ❝ moon, oh, moon, show me what's it like to hold your lost love again? ❞

↬ word count:. 5.6k+

↬ genre(s):. romance, angst, fluff

↬ warning(s):. strong language

↬ song rec(s):. promise - Jimin, love story - Taylor Swift, I need U - BTS

↬ ♡ A/N:. please read the two prequels first to understand the story better. Thank you and hope you enjoy. ♡

Reunion: an instance of two or more people coming together again after a period of separation

"Every parting is a type of death, as every reunion is a type of heaven."

The tips of your fingers elegantly played the orchestra, even the hustle in the ballroom couldn't ruin your focus or pace, or the way your fingers hit each key so perfectly, or the passion with which you played the instrument, loud and clear for everyone in the room to dance to. Your little smile never disappeared, it stayed as you played a song that you had memorised by heart. The night, which was dark and strange, still had light shining deep in it, and the soft music you played, with such emotion, was exactly that for many.

You were at a party, at one friend's manor. The song that you gracefully played, was an instrumental of a song your bestfriend, Jimin, had showed you, named something along the lines of 'I Need U'. He had ventured into the muggle music industry after graduating from Hogwarts, alongside Yoongi, and the two were happily recruited in a band. You didn't know of their band much at all, except for a few songs here and there.

It reminded you of the old days, as you closed your eyes. Times when you and your two bestfriends used to play music, sing, laugh. It reminded you of the better days, when you were kids, playing, dancing, hoping that the futures would only contain such moments, when you didn't know what you were to suffer through.

You could only wish for those days to come back. Now you were all separated — you were just someone who stayed inside your mansion, never seeing the daylight, never hoping to meet anyone, go to any parties, be married off, while Jimin and Yoongi were having the time of their lives with their boy band, and thinking of the past reminded you of someone else.

A distant memory, a fragment of your life — a shard broken of the mirror your reflection showed itself in, a broken piece of you.

Jungkook.

Someone you wished you had never met, and yet someone who you wished could've stayed longer. Your mind went to the orchestral music for a while, before reverting to the boy you had seen years ago. Specifically, at the age of seventeen, and now, twenty-two year old you sat in a party, supposedly as a person who played music. The music reminded you of Jeon Jungkook. Someone you had loved, years had passed, and in the spot where he laid, your heart kept an empty place. An empty, apathetic place. Maybe he's the reason you stopped believing in love, maybe he's the reason you started to feel less, and less, falling into a spiral of low self-esteem, lack of confidence, lack of emotions. You didn't know how it began, but only that the spot remained empty to-date.

The music reminded you awfully of how much you needed Jungkook, at a point of your life he wasn't present in. In fact, he had left you. Countless days of weeping, screaming, shutting yourself in your room, and yet, it had done nothing to help. Maybe nothing would help. Maybe you'd remain as shattered as you were yesterday, or the day before, or the day he left you.

You never cried for him nowadays, but thinking of him did pull at your heart. It reminded you of a fragile bond that lasted for a couple days, only to vanish from your life completely as it didn't exist. It reminded you of love forbidden, of prejudice beyond thought, of loss so great, the pain made it hard to breath.

And the music did nothing to help either. You had learnt playing some instruments from Yoongi, but life had always been unrelenting with you. It had never taught you to heal. Jungkook had left you pain, like a disease without cure, and it only seeped deeper into yours bones everyday, infecting you. You wondered why fate had brought you to such a point - apathetic, quiet, betrayed. To give you so much, only to snatch it away from you.

Jungkook — the reason for once living your life, for being happy, for laughing, for smiling, and now, the reason for apathy, pain and hurt.

Your mind couldn't comprehend at what point, did he have to bend so much, did he decided to leave, to put that foul medicine in that glass, so that you wouldn't see him go, not bid him goodbye. And he never returned to Hogwarts either.

You sighed lightly, when you felt a warm hand on your shoulder. You weren't the girl to yelp out of surprise anymore, nor were you the girl who'd give snarky comments. You were just a mere ghost of who you wanted to be, a shell of the girl you used to know, the girl the world used to know.

Turning around, your haggard eyes locked with someone you didn't expect to see — Jimin. He was standing in front of you, the light smile on his face never ceasing to exist. You parted your lips to speak, but he cut you off before you could say a single word. "Y/N, I know you're playing music, but could you follow me? I can answer things later. I want to show you something," he says, holding out his hand to you, which you grabbed, getting up. Walking with him in silence, you wondered how he had gotten here. Wouldn't he be back in the muggle world, making music, enjoying concerts? What had he wanted to show you? Why did he come here without informing you, so out of the blue?

You had a feeling that if you were your old self, you'd be talking with him excitedly, making jokes, freaking out about what he was going to show you, and yet you were just walking along him quietly, in your own head, afraid of what he had brought. You let a soft sigh escape your lips, your serene expression ever-lasting. You didn't flinch once anytime you bumped into someone, or if someone almost ran into you, since the party had been so crowded — you had became that unreactive. It hurt you to think that, but the truth was apparent and resolute, unlike your thoughts nowadays, which mainly consisted of existing, not living, and being invisible to the world, but not dying.

Ever since the day Jungkook had left you, you had somehow became this way. Your heart was still beating in your chest, yet it didn't seem to feel. Your health had detoriated massively, and it seemed that the girl that had once controlled the body had died, only to be replaced by a lifeless zombie. But you hoped she was still there, deep inside you, the complete opposite of you now, the old you, locked in your heart's cage, slowly breaking free. Because you felt like a living hell too.

You felt sad each and every day, you felt exhausted, awful, depressed. But you could only hope.

Eternal sorrow and yet, you still felt empty. You remembered how you had kicked Seokjin out of your house that day when Jungkook left, and how your parents had wanted to marry you off so many times after that, and yet you had rejected all those strangers, and how relieved your family was at the mention of Jungkook's leave, and the way they fed you lies about him. Lies about your love.

"He just wanted your money," Areum had said.

"He didn't care for you. That's just how muggles are," your mother had spoken.

"It would be better for you to find a nicer partner, Y/N," your father had remarked.

You could cry about it, you could let the tears spill, and yet they still wouldn't leave, they still wouldn't flood your eyes. You were truly as hollow as one could be.

Leading you to a terrace's entrance, Jimin stopped at the door. You looked to him, exhausted, and he gave you a painful smile. "What is behind the door?" you ask, your eyes filled with sorrow. Perhaps, another empty place, another dark night, another hollow you. You couldn't put your finger on it, but his expression seemed one of comfort as he smiled ever so lightly.

"Something — someone that'll comfort you. Atleast… Make you happier."

You tilted your head slowly. What could make you whole again? More importantly, who could make you feel comfort? There was no comfort or solace in this world of agony and mistreatment you lived in. It was unfair. You took a hold of the doorknob, and turned it to open the door, which was intricately designed, just like the rest of the manor your friend owned.

Standing there, near the beautiful railing, was someone that made your heart skip a beat for the first time, in, what felt like, millenia. Someone that completed you. You looked at his being, intoxicating as the first day you fell in love, as the first time you saw him. It felt like being thrown into a rainbow of colours again, after living a long white-and-black life. There he was, to you, standing straight, someone you thought you'd never encounter again, the person who could make you whole again — Jeon Jungkook.

Your footsteps brought his attention to you, and while it took him a while to recognise who he was seeing, you could figure that out in a heartbeat. He still looked the same, older, but thriving - handsome, cute, and the bunny-like face you remembered was still evident. A look at his face was enough for you to smile, and it was like being recalled to life. It was like awaking from a deep slumber, only to realise that what you had seen was just a nightmare, nothing more, nothing less. It was like reviving, like a new spring of hope.

"Y/N?" his soft, honey-like voice, smooth and sweet, it ringed your ears, and you could feel the tears flooding your eyes, as though a new dawn had risen. It was a new epoch for you, history would mark it, for the reunion you were to go through was something you had waited for the past five years. You didn't know if you could hug him or not, if you could kiss his soft, pink lips like he was yours, if you could embrace him and let him know that you still loved him, that he was your joy, your life. You hadn't dated anyone after him, surprising as that was. You couldn't get him out of your mind at times, and you knew he was unforgettable.

Running up to him, you took your chances and hugged him, wrapping your arms around him, taking in his scent, making sure he was real. He was there, with you, hard to imagine, but you had him. Hallucinations had always troubled you, after suffering so much, you could see him everywhere, and yet when you ran up to touch him, he'd vanish.

This one didn't.

Because he was real, he was present. With you. You felt the cold ice that sheltered your heart melt, feeling his heat and warmth. His arms around your waist, you hugged him the tightest you could. It felt almost surreal, for five years, it had always been a dream for something like this to happen. And yet — yet, you were with him, at last. It wasn't a dream anymore. It was real.

"I…" you say in a small voice, basking in his warmth — you never wanted him to vanish again. "You… you're real, right?" your reply to his call was stupid, but you wanted confirmation. You wanted to know he was there, by his own voice. You wanted him to tell you he'd be there. A small chuckle escaped his lips as he looked down at you. "I think so. What do you think?" he tilted his head, running his hand through your soft hair. "I…" you thought for a moment, letting silence envelop you two. "I think you're here too."

It didn't take long for you to begin crying again. You felt like a real person again. Looking up at him, you felt the sudden urge to do something awfully painful to bring the old days back. "Boop," you say, booping his nose. You smiled instantly, seeing his gorgeous face. It made you go back to those days when you didn't have a care or need in the world, when you were high on love, and when you were addicted — spending all your time with Jungkook. It felt good to be back. Too good to be true, and yet it was plain reality.

You watched him chuckle again, seeing how dimples would form, and his eyes would turn into crescent moons. Life had just turned upside down, despite everything being so dark a few moments before. Staring into his eyes, you saw the part of yourself that had been taken away by the ruthless fate, the page torn from your book, the shattered shard of your reflection. You put your head against his chest, hearing the door close quietly. Jimin must've left you two alone. You took in his scent, the cologne he'd always use, its flowery scent remained. He looked to be in muggle clothes, completely different from the other men you had seen in the party back there, who were wearing robes.

You didn't speak a word, you didn't want to. You just wanted to stay in his embrace forever, your arms around his waist, which was much thinner than the last time you hugged him. "You haven't been eating?" you looked back up at him, furrowing your brows slightly. He shook his head nonchalantly. "It's been a while. I have been working out alot too, I guess," he replies, smiling.

You took a deep breath, feeling his heart beating through his chest. It had been a while, you had certainly changed alot. None of you wanted to address that night, it seemed; you simply took to sticking to Jungkook, while he ran his hand through your hair, wondering how he could move the conversation further.

"So you've improved, hm?" you pulled away from the hug, deciding to start it off. You stared at him, crossing your arms. The most annoying fact was that he was still taller than you. And you had managed to wear the highest heels you could find. It was nonsensical. "I have," he smiled confidently. He didn't say more, waiting for you to ask more. You supposed his cool exterior hadn't left him much at all. "Right, then," all of it was so unexpected, you thought you might go blank any second. "I still don't think my parents will accept you — oh — and Areum's still a bitch, like always," you smiled bitterly, then huffed. "What chance do you think you have at winning against them?" you didn't know what had caused your coldness to get back again. Maybe you were just using it to check if he really was the same as ever. Maybe it was because he had drugged you, no matter how good his intentions were. Maybe it was for the fact that you had been hurt over and over again, just for one person. You just wanted some closure, answers you had been searching for and you were willing to go far for them.

You tilted your head slightly in a commanding way, waiting for him to answer. For a while, he kept quiet. "Seeing as you escaped one time around," the trigger must've done it. His smile disappeared, and while his brows didn't furrow, it was clear to you that he had been rubbed the wrong way. "Take this; I haven't came to win against them," he says hotly. "So you accept that there is no winning against them?" you peered at his face, pulling him closer, "you accept that there is no changing this."

You pushed him away, making him lean on the railing. None of you spoke whatever was on your minds, but you knew he wasn't wrong. Were you? You weren't wrong in saying that there was no defeating the authority your parents had.

"I didn't come here to win against them, I came here to win you over." The smirk on his face told you the same statement he spoke. He had taken a step closer to you, and while you understood none of his words, his priorities stood loud and clear. "Why so quiet?" he asks teasingly, a taunting smile taking over his soft features. "And how do you think you can do that?" you ask, glaring daggers at him. He didn't flinch even at the slightest, seeing your poisonous expression as nothing intimidating. He knew you too well. "Run away with me."

Your heart stopped beating for a few seconds as you processed that. You stared at him in disbelief, before shaking your head. Was he crazy? Sure, your parents weren't here at this party, and yeah, Areum stayed at home, but how long would you stay with Jungkook till they found you? What if they find you? There were too many dangers. "I can't — they'll find me, there's nowhere we can go," you admit.

As much you felt resentment towards Jungkook, you couldn't be happier to leave your family. "And you don't have money—" you begin saying, but he had stopped you with a motion of his hand. "That has changed," he grinned, making you grow even more curious. "And we're leaving to the muggle world."

"No way."

"Yes way."

"How? I mean…" you sighed, digesting it. "And what if I don't want to come?" you ask tauntingly. "Then I'll make you. But I know how much you hate this place too, so that shouldn't be much of a problem, no?" he smiled reassuringly, making you almost burst out laughing. "You're the same as ever, Jeon Jungkook. Maybe even a tiny bit more cocky, if I'm to be honest," you saw his smile falter to a frown. "I'm just confident and know what I want," he grumbles, crossing his arms as you went to boop his nose one last time. "I know, sweetheart."

Taking his hand, you and Jungkook sped down the halls of the mansion which you were in, thankfully you knew your way around. Your parents weren't here, so atleast you could escape tonight without much effort. You met Yoongi and Jimin jamming to some music in the foyer. "I missed you!" your heart finally felt complete. You hugged Yoongi, who hugged you back tightly. "We better get going. The car's waiting," Jimin checked the watch on his wrist. "Right," you rolled your eyes, pulling away, "when did you become so punctual?" The four of you, almost as if you were spies, got out safely from the mansion, and then got into the car hurriedly, still in your party attire. The driver, who you noticed was Hoseok, got his signal and drove the car away.

"I haven't seen you in forever!" you address Hoseok, who was sitting in the driver's seat, with Yoongi sitting next to him. "Yeah," he chuckled, "it's been a while. You appear alot less intimidating now," you rolled your eyes at his statement. "I still don't understand though! How are you guys in contact after that many years?" you ask, happily bewildered. "We've been in contact since we left Hogwarts," Jimin answers, "remember the band I told you about?" you nodded furiously, "we're all a part of that!"

Your eyes widened in surprise as you looked at Jimin. "No way!" you exclaim, shaking your head. "Makes sense, hm?" Jungkook chuckled from beside you. "I wish I could've heard some other songs! Mother didn't let me play muggle music though. And Areum was always on my tail," unlike your family, Jimin and Yoongi's had given in to their passion for music when they told them about how popular they were getting in the muggle world.

If only yours had too, maybe you could be in a band with them like the old days. The thought made you smile.

"Sorry if it comes out a little rude, but your family really sucks," Hoseok remarks, making you giggle. "Tell me about it!" you say, "they tried to marry me off to Seokjin — like…" you shook your head in disbelief, still hurt from that incident. The car suddenly turned quiet, so you took the chance to speak again, "and thanks for leaving me all alone to torture myself," you elbowed Jungkook with a frown, who chuckled and put his arm around your shoulder. "I'm sorry, okay…? I'll make up for it," he replies quietly, making you roll your eyes, though a smile played on your lips. "I look forward to it."

"Save the flirting for the bedroom, Merlin," Yoongi's voice ringed in your ears, and you reached out to punch him lightly out of embarassment. "Shut up," you grumble, crossing your arms as you felt your face heating up. The car was filled with laughter again. Rest assured, things had turned better than ever— or that's what you thought you thought. You looked at Jimin on your left, who had fallen asleep, his head resting on your shoulder.

You smiled a little, and deciding you were tired too, laid your head on Jungkook's shoulder. The sequence reminded you a little of dominoes — a muggle game you had learnt about. You hoped it'd take longer to reach wherever your destination was, because you wanted nothing more to just be there with Jungkook for now.

You dozed off a little while after.

"Y/N…" you groaned, your neck slightly hurt. "Y/N, wake up," realising it was Jungkook who was gently shaking you, you opened your eyes slowly, your mind still asleep. "We're here. Get up," he was still sitting next to you, and the car stopped just as you sat straight up. Your neck must have hurt from the bad sleeping position. You nodded, letting a yawn escape you.

The car parked and as Jimin got out, you followed behind him. Taking Jungkook's hand, you walked into the apartment complex. You didn't notice much of the interior, with constantly dozing off again until you realised you were actually walking, but what you did know was that the building was luxurious.

You and Jungkook followed the rest of the group to their apartment, which was, supposedly, the famous group's dorms. Stepping in, you were greeted by the cool air, which did its work in making you wake up and pay more attention. "Do you want to meet the members or would you rather go and sleep?" you heard Jungkook ask, and you shook your head. "I'm fine. I'll meet the members." Hearing your answer, Jungkook gently nodded, leading you into the direction of some noise. The living room, which was just as modern and expensive-looking as you expected, was filled with chatter.

"Line up, line up! Y/N has to meet all of us!" you heard Hoseok's cheerful voice come through. Before you knew it, Jungkook had left your side and the seven members were standing in a row. It all felt a little unexpected, and you were quite nervous, but knowing that most of these would be people you knew from years ago, you felt better.

You started with the first one from the right, which was, not to your surprise, Jungkook. "Do you have to introduce yourself…?" you giggled, then walked on. Next was Taehyung, someone you hadn't expected to see. "Taehyung! How have you been?" you ask cheerfully, to which he replies with a 'I'm good'.

It had been a while since you had seen him, and you could tell that he had matured — but he looked the same as ever. Walking on, you greeted Jimin, Hoseok and Yoongi, thought it wasn't needed. Next came someone that did shock you. "Namjoon?" you raised a brow. You hadn't known him specially well, but he had been a friend of someone you despised very much — Kim Seokjin. "It's nice to see you here, Y/N," he flashed his dimpled smile, and you returned it with a light one, moving to the last person with reluctance.

If you were right, if your eyes were not lying, if you weren't blind, you could see someone who resembled Seokjin from the corner of your eye. It made your stomach do back flips. You were scared to confront him, and even more scared to go over everything that had happened, seeing as that would have to happen sooner or later.

And it just so happened to be sooner.

"It's been some time, Y/N," the voice was just as you had remembered it, making the memories of that fateful day rush past you like a strong, howling wind. You looked up to see the face of none other than Seokjin, and despite hating him for what he had done, you were willing to forgive him. Especially seeing as he was in the same group as your boyfriend. "So it has. How have you been?" you ask, trying to sound unbiased, but it was clear that you hadn't taken a liking to him at all. And it was pretty obvious why, too. "I've been okay. Working hard. I just wanted to say—"

"If you're thinking about some chance to get me again, I swear, Seokjin, I won't. I've ran away from my family, and I can't bear more drama than the past few years, please—"

"I'm not talking of that!" The room was quiet. You turned silent, seeing everyone's eyes on you. Your hands felt cold again, as you fidgeted with your fingers. Your eyes caught Jungkook's, who looked at you with a concerned expression. "I'm talking… about forgiveness. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I did all of that, but… your father, he was doing some business with my father. I thought if I didn't agree with him, he'd cancel the plans. It was really important. And I really liked you back then, too. I'm really sorry. Will you forgive me?"

Hearing the words you desperately wanted to hear was a pleasure in itself, and you knew good enough how much you hated Seokjin for everything he had done, but he was just another victim in the situation and it would be wrong of you to deny such an offer. You could finally start a new. With everyone in your life, and with freedom and independence that you had longed for. "I… I forgive you."

You smiled at Seokjin, who gave you a sweet smile back. You could sense he had changed his ways, and if it really was true, then you didn't mind it whatsoever. Though you would have to get back at Yoongi and Jimin not telling you about their members sooner. "Only if you promise to never let my parents know of me staying here," you add, grinning. He nodded, "I won't."

And maybe this was why the car had turned silent when you mentioned Seokjin. Pieces fell into their place in the puzzle in your head. It all made sense. "Well then!" you looked towards the members, who were more or less in a semi-circle now rather than a line, "I've met all of you, and it was a great pleasure! But I think we can all agree that we are tired," in fact, your back ached as if it was broken, "so I'll be… going to my room now. Thank you for having me stay here!" you bowed in respect, then gestured Jungkook to come to you.

"That went better than I expected," you say as the members started to scatter around. "Way better. And you're in good terms of Jin now," Jungkook rolled his eyes. "I'm going to kill you for not telling me sooner! My mind went blank when I was talking to him," you crossed your arms, "anyway… where's my room?" you ask. "Our room. This way."

Jungkook led you towards one of the apartment rooms, which was just as pleasant as the living room. "There's only one bed though... I mean," you accidently say out loud, loud enough for Jungkook to hear. You could facepalm, but you were so still from the embarassment, you couldn't do or say anything. You saw Jungkook's ears turn pink from the tips, a fact that made you almost burst out laughing. "I can sleep in another room, if you want," he says quietly, and you shook your head. "It's fine, it's fine. You can stay!" you laughed. "I'll just… go take a shower? I'm still in the ballgown," you realised that just now, and the thing was starting to trouble you.

"And I don't have any clothes…" you whisper quietly, then watch as Jungkook walks towards the closet. "You can wear my hoodie then," he opened it and tossed a gray one at you. You sniffed, taking in the scent — it smelled just like Jungkook. To stop yourself from doing any more weird shenanigans, you made your way to the bathroom right after.

After you were done, it was Jungkook's turn to go in. You walked out, your hair still damp and yourself in a white bath robe. Sighing, you sank down on the bed. Your neck felt way better, the pain was basically gone at this point. To busy yourself, you took the chance to look around the room. You walked towards the bedside-tables, which were both made of polished wood. A lamp sat on top of each one of them, giving off a golden glow. The floor was tiled, and the whole aesthetic reminded you a little of your home. Though, it looked a lot more modern than the house you had lived in. Muggles really had improved in technology — maybe they didn't have moving pictures, or broomsticks, or even candy that made you sound like an animal. But you felt at home.

A while after, you got into the hoodie Jungkook had given you, pairing it with some trousers that managed to stay on you, that you found in his closet. You welcomed the silence of the room with open arms. It was like that in your mansion too. Just a single day had changed you so much. You looked out the window, looking across the starry sky outside. The moon shone brighter than it ever had to you. Maybe because it was such a big day. By now, your parents must have noticed that you weren't at that party anymore. You wondered if they really cared that you were gone or not. You could still go back — but that was the thing you least wanted. You felt content. It was new here, and you had so much to learn, but you were willing to give this strange world a try.

You felt a little bad for Jungkook's mobile phone, which you had left at your old home, the one he had given as a sort of gift. Five years had passed since that night and you still remember it like yesterday. You were both grown-up now, probably more changed than ever. But you had a feeling it was for the better. Lost in thoughts, time passed and you never noticed.

You flinched when you felt arms around your waist, and then a sweet voice ring your ear. "Earth to Y/N," Jungkook whispers, making you laugh. He was still in his bath robe, but you must have not open the bathroom door open. "You can't leave me alone for a single second. I need some time to think," you say, smiling at the ink-like dark sky above. His chin rested on your shoulder, and for a while, you both let silence settle over yourselves. "I left you alone for five years already. I never want to do that again," he broke the silence, "what are you thinking about?"

"About how changed we are. It's been a while. I— I'm not the same person anymore, not that… confident girl that I once was," you turn quiet for a moment. "And I'm scared that… I'm scared that I'm not the one you… you know, you lo—" before you could even voice the concern completely, you were pushed to the bed with Jungkook on top of you. His arm was still secured around your waist, and it didn't take him a second to close the gap between your lips, kissing you with such passion, your heart stopped beating. Your eyes were still widened from the sudden action, but your mind could only focus on how long it had been.

His damp hair tickled your face slightly, making you smile. You put your arms around his neck, savoring the moment. You loved the way his soft lips brushed against yours, and how euphoric he made you feel. He pulled away, looking at you with a soft smile that stole your heart.

"You're still the girl that I love, okay? Don't doubt yourself on that," he planted a kiss on your forehead, reminding you of the old times again. You nodded to his words, feeling heat rise to your cheeks.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Life was always going to be hard, and you didn't question the fact too much. You knew you'd never be able to go back to the past, change the sequence of events, no matter how much you had wanted to. But every memory, every choice that you and Jungkook had made had led up to that moment and you wouldn't exchange it for the world. You two weren't perfect at all. You had fights, arguments, misunderstandings and you two sometimes hated the other person's actions, but what you knew was that you could always count on him and he could always count on you.

Promises were made, and some were even broken. Jungkook didn't tell you how much he had suffered because of your parents, and you hadn't taken care of yourself at all in his absence as you had promised him. But one promise that you two would always keep, was that no matter the distance, no matter the time, you'd come running back to eachother over and over again.

[surprisebitch]

K-pop tag anon~ I just wanted to thank you and I’m definitely going to be looking more closely at it (I love pop starts and I know the genre as a whole slams) I just sometimes have a hard time giving something the love and appreciation I know it deserves when my brain isn’t in peak experience this specific thing ™ mode. But definitely gonna be seeing what it’s all about when my brain gets on the level to let me enjoy the way it’s meant to be (it’s currently in epic rock mode). have a good day!

oh i totally get you. thats also me when it comes to checking out artists and genres. like i have to be at the right mood to check something out.

well if you ever decide to check it out and dont know where to start, i can give groups and artists which i think will be a good introduction to the genre! but since you love epic rock... maybe Dreamcatcher would be your type of group 👀 they have rock influences in their music and are quite avant garde imo in terms of how they approach k-pop

but yea take your time! enjoy the music you enjoy. rn i've been listening to a lot of j-pop and j-rock or music from anime so i'm in that mood 😎 i can also give recs on that. there are a lot of great j-rock songs out there. have a good day too!

[clumsyclifford]

hello!! i am back and on desktop this time. the blog is just as pretty. alex + yellow = v v attractive jfc. this is a long one so buckle in.

to begin: i hope you have the most fun on your day road trip and sing your heart out to atl and taylor swift. i love driving long distances and idk just driving in general is fun. have the absolute best time MWAH

my birthday is in november!! november 23 to be specific. i share it with miley cyrus which is something i always found to be very cool when i was growing up and watching hannah montana. it also means i am a sagittarius and funny little fact i realized is that my best friend is a gemini. alex and jack are also a sagittarius and a gemini. from being 13 i know that tyler and josh from twenty one pilots are also a sagittarius and a gemini. something about sagittarius and gemini besties idk.

also yeah!! ao3 year in review!! it's a bit complicated to figure out at first and if you read a lot the finding pages thing can be pretty tedious, but it's def worth it once you figure it out. it gives you a lot of different stats about everything you read and it's pretty cool. now i am going to go look at your fics to remember my favs. you deserve the praise so i am willing to offer it. jeez you write a lot i respect the motivation sm. you write quite a bit of angst and i won't lie i try to stay away from angst so i haven't read your fics that seem super angst-y based on the tags. BUT there are still so many i recall reading and loving nonetheless. on a quick scroll-through: i usually don't read high school AUs but "paint me in trust (i'll be your best friend)" was super adorable and lovely. "thank god i'm yours" is one of my favs iirc. also i love love love "it's not always easy (but i'm here forever)" like yes please romanticize alex gaskarth i love it sm. "i won't be silent (and i won't let go)" and "i fell asleep in a city that doesn't" are both super fluffy and romantic and are favs of mine. in case you haven't picked up on it i adore very fluffy and romantic fics lmao. alright i am continuing to scroll and there are so many more i could list that i love but this section is getting quite long. just know if it's about a kitchen or hotel rooms being for lovers i probably read it and adored it and that pov is so valid.

waterparks!! will not lie i only really started listening to them about 6 months ago having been distantly aware of their existence for several years by being a fan of bands in the same genre. listen as long as you let yourself be vaguely annoyed by awsten is prevents you from being in love with him. follow him on any social media platform for like a day and you'll be sick of him typing in nothing but all caps within hours. simply do not romanticize him and you can keep yourself from falling!! so this is coming from a slightly fake parx fan, but some of my favs by them have been peach (lobotomy), crave, numb, fuzzy, violet!, you'd be paranoid too, and lowkey as hell. that is a very songs-from-their-most-recent-album-heavy rec, but whatever. i did give the disclaimer about being a fake parx fan.

yeah hayley does have 2 solo albums now!! petals for armor and flowers for vases / descansos. pfa is the one i didn't really like upon first listen but has grown on me. i haven't even listened to the second one in its entirety oops but we won't mention it. dead horse is good but simmer (pretty sure that was the other single??) just ain't it for me. the album has some lovely songs but it's just a hit or miss album all the way through. some favs of mine on it include pure love, taken, crystal clear, watch me while i bloom, and why we ever. it's sorta a storyline album about healing if that adds anything to it?? but anyways. i started listening to paramore around the time after laughter dropped and it grew to be one of my fav albums in existence. idle worship is probably one of my fav songs like ever. i def understand being slightly put off by bands with songs that make religious references (me with twenty one pilots' earlier music that makes a lot more religious references considering i'm not religious whatsoever) but i think i am blinded by being in love with hayley williams and just ignore it. idk that she's like super religious?? she's addressed believing in god and stuff a few times but she's def not the "rub it in your face" type and if she's making refs in music more recently then they're subtle enough i'm not noticing them. ik albums like brand new eyes had a lot more because it was shortly after that the band split and the songwriting process was essentially her and ex-bandmate co-songwriter arguing about their religious beliefs (turns out he ended up being super homophobic and transphobic all based on his religion so do with that what u will and thank the clown for leaving). i feel u on the "i meant to start listening to them" because that's essentially how i started listening to them. i told myself i was going to and then finally forced myself to do it. fuck falling for awsten knight what's more risky is falling in love with hayley </3

also yeah!! you've articulated my feelings towards tde. every song is so vastly different that it's hard to like it all. #1 fan is pretty decent though, and that's not just my bias about finding both ross and his gf hot and a cute couple and getting to see them together and ross half naked in a mirror in the video nope not at all. he's my fav himbo!! he has no personality!! no thoughts head empty!! i still love him and his strawberry-growing saga on twitter tho <3 the hazard of being in love with ross lynch since i was 12. girlfriend better be a fucking banger and there's quite a few already released singles in the tracklist so i have hope. i believe my show is in chicago on november 19 which is a thursday. kinda sucks since i intentionally bought the chicago tix nearly two years ago (the show was originally supposed to be april 25 2020. lol.) because the show was on a saturday and i have to drive 3 hours to get there. obviously i can't speak for them as tde but r5 shows always fucking slapped and i can vouch for them (realized i haven't seem them live since 2016?? 5 YEARS?? wtf) so if u genuinely like them. would recommend going to see them.

anyways. i have not listened to luke's solo album yet. i plan on it. this has gotten so long but i tried to respond in all areas and even organized it in different paragraphs this time (thanks being on desktop!!). hope you are well. hope you have a lovely day. hmm what's a little "going on in my life" fact. i got new glasses a few days ago and my eyes essentially said fuck off because adjusting to the new prescription has left me with eyes that hurt and occasionally slightly nauseous. here is to hoping my eyes get their shit together. mwah LOVE YOU TOO - the other bella/cubs anon/idk

okay hi hello. i have put this off because holy hell it's long but let's do it. i am putting a cut because this whole thing is long even without my answer

first: the road trip was super fun thank you!!! i am intrigued by this information regarding sags and geminis, we should do some scientific inquiry. enquiry. i don't know if there's a difference between those words.

aha! well i tried the ao3 year in review thing and i would say it had about 55% accuracy but still i agree it's fun to look back at that kind of stuff. and i feel you on the angst thing i go through phases of writing angst-heavy stuff and then writing very fluffy stuff and it is entirely based on my mental state buuuut i have lots of fluff and i'm glad you found it all and that you liked it yay <333 KITCHENS ARE FOR LOVERS i will die on that fuckin hill. hotel rooms as well but primarily kitchens.

dfgjhgdlfkhgdfmj honestly i dont use twitter enough that i would see his tweets enough that that would bother me also the fact that he tweets in all caps means that i just picture him yelling everything he tweets which i find absolutely hysterical so i don't think that would help. i have added these parx songs to my listen asap playlist and will get to them when i get a chance thank you i am excited also i already know lowkey as hell and it slaps super hard so im very much lookin forward to the rest of these. merci merci

YEAH simmer was the one i didnt vibe with. and honestly i feel zero compulsion to get into hayley williams as a solo artist. i just don't vibe enough to want to do that so i doubt i'll be listening to her anytime soon but maybe if i hear the songs in passing or get super bored one night, idk who can really say. but yeah christianity typically puts me off of music (speaking as a very jewish bitch) although there are notable exceptions in the cases of thomas rhett and the driver era. i'm just not attached to hayley enough to be like ehhh this doesnt matter. does that make sense

FAVORITE HIMBO PLEASE HGSDFGDFGKLFGJ i dont follow him on twitter but i have seen some interviews of ross and rocky and tbh they're great i love the way ross speaks like i like his speech mannerisms and i like his FACE and HAIR and. yeah. i think hes pretty. and i think he and 5sos SHOULD collab i think that would be sexy as hell. can you imagine that. oh my god can you imagine a ross lynch/luke hemmings collab. i'm not even really talking to you anymore bella because i know you haven't listened to luke yet and don't have a stake in it but if anyone else is reading this long ass answer. ross & luke collab. okay im going to move on and not think about that now. but i probably won't see tde unless i get a job this semester because i'm trying to stop spending so much money on big indulgent things like concerts likeee i was in a really good habit of not spending that much and then suddenly i got paid for one summer and i was just goin Crazy and i need to dial it back. plus i wanna see ajr and noah kahan equally bad so like. i have to make some calls about priorities here. it's Much to think about

good luck to your eyes i'm sure your new glasses are hella cute tho!!! LOVE YOUUUUUUU

[gingerly-writing]

Questions Tag Games

explanation: I’m super late to these, I suspect not many people will want their dashes spammed with my random answers, and I’m not tagging people, so I’ve amalgamated all of these into one post. 

tagged by @concealeddarkness13! haven’t spoken to you in a while, hope you’re doing great

1. Would you rather write a more classical hero or an anti-hero as a protagonist? I’d rather write a hero for the protagonist, but an anti-hero as a general character

2. Who is your favorite character you have written and why? Ever? That’s cruel. Out of people that y’all would know, Urial does seem to generate the most emotional reactions

3. How many WIPs do you have? 3 proper ones, currently: Iron Flower, Space Royalty and Piracy Pays

4. Who is your least favorite character you have written and why? To write? Klarion from Young Jutsice fanfic. Motherfucker would not follow the assigned plot. Hate-wise? Possibly Coincidence or Accord, neother of whom you guys have met yet. Those two are a pair of nasty criminals/villains, and they are a little too good at punishing anyone who gets in their way

5. What is your favorite aspect of writing? Finishing!

6. If you had only one sentence (per WIP) to get someone to read your books, what would the sentences be? They wouldn’t because I suck at loglinesss...humourously though?

IF: an entire continent is saved from the ravages of war by the ancient art of sexting via treaty negotiations Space Royalty: ‘she stabbed me? god-fucking-dammit I am so in love with her’ Piracy Pay: you get to chug your drink every time I kill a character

7. If your protagonists fought to the death, which one would win? Protags? Depends if morals were removed, and whether it was on-on-one. Koronis, if not -he’s an emperor with black magic and an entire galaxy-wide army.  If it was on-on-one with minimised morals, Ace would stand a damn good chance. Boy is smarter than he gives himself credit for, and very adaptable. Galaxy is also pretty viable. Girl can swing a superpowered punch like she means it, and she hasn’t survived this long on luck alone.

8. Which protagonist(s) would survive the zombie apocalypse? Koronis would. Ace would die trying to save someone else. Solaris would...provided Monarch was dragging him around, and even then they might go down together in a dramatic last stand. Galaxy would be in charge of a small, benevolent queendom. Cleo would, those plant skills would make her handy to any new civilisation. Fact would go down staving off the hoardes so everyone else could run. Rosalie would think she was the weak link of her group, but they would probably keep her alive; L’aura would kick zombie ass.

9. Which is your favorite story you have written or are working on? Space Royalty is damn fun to write -the benefits of extravagant, overdramatic space operas I suppose. Piracy Pays has had a good reception, so I’m pretty proud of that. Hopefully I can keep the momentum going until the end! It is a huge pain o write though

10. Which of your characters is your favorite villain and why? Raph is my evil supervillin crimelord Big Bad and I adore him utterly

11. When do you find is the best time of day for writing? Evening! 8pm-1am

*******************************************************************************************

tagged by the lovely @a-sundeen​! this is so old I bet you don’t even remember tagging me, oopsie

1. When you’re describing a new character, what feature do you usually note first? Build, usually, as in their height/weight ratio, muscles/skinniness or lack of, how they carry themself etc. The reason for this is that I often start with the macro ‘impression’ of the character before zooming in on a few specifics. I try to use an interesting description or comparison here as well.

2. Do any of your characters play an instrument or really enjoy music in general? If so, what instrument (or what genre, if it’s the latter)? I am the least musical person on planet earth, so making my characters musical often doesn’t occur to me. Koronis can sing and play the space-piano (forced childhood lessons), and Jade can play the violin, but neither of them are passionate about it. Kolya/Cynosure (the popstar/supervillain) is very very musical, but I skip around a lot of the specifics because I’m a big cheater. He mostly makes anti-establishment and anti-hero music, but he’s one of those artists who strays all over different genres.

3. Which musical artist usually gets you the most pumped to write? Les Friction does good dramatic music and they’re not so well known, so I like to tell people about them when I can

4. Do you prefer writing fight scenes over other types? (This is a weirdly worded question I’m sorry, rip) It’s worded fine, sunshine! And no, I don’t like writing fight scenes because I don’t like the logistics of them. There are too many limbs to keep track of, and then I feel like I’m neglecting their surroundings and potentially useful items in favour of mentally tracking who’s where and what their arms and legs are doing. I cover up for my fight scene weaknesses with too much dialogue, and I’m fully aware of that fact.

5. Is there a city or country you’d really like to write in or about? Write in is probably just where I’d like to travel, so Russia, India and South America (I know that’s general but it’s the only continent except Antarctica that I haven’t been to) are my top choices. Write about…I’d like to sink myself deep into east coast USA to really nail the feeling of Galaxy’s city and her character, and then be able to confidently write about it. I do have a study year abroad coming up in 2020, so here’s hoping…

6. Do you prefer to be warm or cold while you write? Warm! I love blankets and my big fluffy dressing gown, and on top of that all my friends always complain about how hot my house is

7. Do any of your characters have hobbies you’d like to try out someday? Fiction wise, glo-ball from Space Royalty sounds like a very entertaining game, especially when I’m kept safe behind a pod. sodding netball injuries Jade paints and draws, and I’d love to get better at art. Likewise, Rosalie sews, making and decorating her own clothes, and I’d love to be able to do that. Idk, does being a supervillain count as a hobby? I’d love to rob a bank…not even necessarily for the money, just the #aesthetic

8. What is your favorite type of character to write? Villains! And morally grey people. And characters where the POV character has no idea what they’re really thinking, who they really are, what they actually want etc. And, on the flip side, balls of positive sunshine, because they make me feel better about the world

9. Halloween is here! Which character has a costume made for them by their mom? Ahahahahaha can you tell how late I am to this.

10. Halloween is here (again)! Which character thinks the holiday is childish but dresses up anyway? I AM SO LATE. Rosalie thinks the holiday is childish but dresses up in the most elaborate homemade princess outfit ever and entertains all the kids she can find. What, it is a children’s holiday, surely she should be making them happy on their special day…

******************************************************************************************* tagged by @blackfeatherantics who is now @mbovettwrites I think? I hope?

1.      How long have you been working on your WIP(s) for? Iron Flower is the oldest current one, and I started it on Christmas Day 2016

2.      What song would you assign as your protagonist’s theme tune? I’ll just pick one, and Koronis’ is Young and Menace by FOB. No real lyrical reason, it just reminds me of him

3.      Do you have any favourite spots (gardens, parks, cafes, etc.) where you like to write? The sofa in my living room next to my family

4.      Poetry or Prose? Prose!

5.      Where do you draw inspiration for your writing from? Everywhere! Other people’s writing and prompts and published novels and TV and movies and random stray thoughts and daydreaming and chatting to other writers and-

6.      Is there any popular book that you wish you had written and why? The Lies of Locke Lamora because I’d take out the first 100-ish page of solid worldbuilding and backstory that seemed almost completely irrelevant to the rest of the plot?And the domino-effect of all the plot elements knocking each other into action at the end was so clever, it annoyws me that the beginning means I don’t like reccing it to people

7.      What’s your planning process when you start working on a new WIP? I daydream about it for at least a few weeks to make sure the idea has staying power. Then I come up with character names, quirks, descriptions etc. finally, I lay out the plot chapter-by-chapter from the beginning to the end so I have a guiding rope throughout the whole process and I’m less likely to get stuck. Of course, that’s when I plan on letting a WIP bloom into being. Some, like Space Royalty and Piracy Pays, start off as short drabble ideas and then refuse to leave, which means I have no concrete plan for them...

8.      Do you work best in mornings, afternoons, or at night? Evening!

9.      Would you prefer to self-publish or work with an agent and publishing company and why? Agent and publishing company, because I value the help they can provide more than the ability to retain complete creative control over my book (since I’m crap at titles and designing book covers anyway)

10.  How do your emotions/moods affect your writing? Not a lot tbh. If I’m very very tired I can’t write anything good, but I’m not sure that counts as an emotion.

11.  What’s your favourite line of your WIP/one of your poems? I’ve written both of my current favourite lines for prompts, which were: ‘Time hollows all victories’ and ‘The hero doesn’t die in this one’. I’ve had other favourites in WIPs over time, but I can’t think of them right now

******************************************************************************************* tagged by the ever wonderful @time-to-write-and-suffer

1) How are you so awesome? Genetics.

2) What’s your favorite thing about your writing? The dialogue! Or the romances, which I mostly like because of the fun/cute dialogue.

3) Who’s your favorite character that you’ve written and why are they your fave? This is so mean. At the moment, Raph, because I can’t stop thinking about him and he’s so incredibly dangerous, yet on the low down (like the Mariana Trench level of low down) he has all these cute little quirks that only one or two people know about

4) One of your characters has been placed in the world/plot of a book you love. What happens? Rosalie becomes a Grisha in Leigh Bardugo’s world. She finds a sense of self-worth and gets to enjoy the little luxuries that come with the position.

5) One of your characters has been placed in the world/plot of a book you hate. What happens? X takes the place of Celeana Sardothien. He murders everyone in his path, tells the crown of Terrasen to get fucked because there’s no way he can run a whole government with any level of competance, probably murders Rowan with extreme prejudice, opens the Wyrd gates just to search the universe for Raph and bring him through so he can construct a decent government for Terrasen, would probably sleep with Dorian, would make it his new life goal to highfive Manon.

6) Your characters must fight each other to the death until only one stands victorious. Who wins? Raph. Koronis could conceivably stand a chance against him, but Raph would decimate pretty much anyone else. I think Raph would be able to stay above the fighting for longer, whereas Koronis would jump in just a touch earlier, which would be his downfall.

7) If you could steal a cover and a title from other books to use for your own WIP/s, which ones would you steal? Cover-wise I’d steal the minimalist Red Queen aesthetic, because that sleek shit is the bomb.  Title-wise? That’s harder. The Lies of Locke Lamora has some sick alliteration, but I think I’d rather steal the style of it rather than the exact title

8) If you switched places with one of your characters, what would happen to you and to them? I would die, pretty much everywhere. If Rosalie swapped with me, she would slowly come out of her shell and become a fashion designer -not an A-lister, she wouldn’t like how vicious and ruthlessly businesslike you have to be, but maybe making her own high-end clothes in a small shop in London

9) What makes your style unique compared to other writers? Thanks for the existential crisis, Eff.

10) Describe your antagonist’s song number if they were a Disney villain. No Good Deed from Wicked, for Darklight

******************************************************************************************* tagged by the lovely @itstheenglishkid

1. Have you ever realized how similar an oc is to you and felt the need to change them so they aren’t so similar? I mean, Jade from Iron Flower almost shares a name with me, and she’s ginger, which did concern me for a while, but hopefully she’s nothing like me personality wise (or else I’d have to do some serious self-reflection)

2. Do any of your ocs like candles? I bet Rosalie loves pretty candles, especially patterned or strongly scented ones! Anything luxurious that she can’t afford, really

3. Do you normally write settings that are (or are based on) places you know intimately (ie your home town)? Oh god no. I like sweeping Chinese-inspired castles or creaking pirate ships or far flung space universities and man-made planets. I’m really not a contemporary writer though, so I guess this isn’t much of a surprise?

4. What is a book that feels similar to your own wip? Ahahaha, which WIP? Piracy Pays has similar vibes to @boothewriter‘s pirates and probably also @noodlewrites’ pirates (I’m guessing? I haven’t read any excerpts from you I’m sorry). Space Royalty is just weird. Iron Flower is probably similar to a lot of generic fantasy YA, like Red Queen and whatnot.

5. Do you have a dream cast for your ocs? I don’t really faceclaim? Or know much about a wide array of actors, so no, not really.

6. Are you good at story titles? Do they come easily to you? I am abysmal at story titles, holy shit. I mean, you can see the evidence scattered around this post. Piracy Pays and Space Royalty are just placeholder names, but I’m not convinced I’ll come up with anything good to replace them. Iron Flower is alright in that its relevant to the story and fits into the series title (The Flowers of War) but…idk, its not setting the stars alight or anything.

7. Do you ever change oc names once you’ve started a wip? Not often, though I am considering changing Ace’s name because I don’t think ‘Seb’ suits him. Only question, what to??

8. Which people have you let read your work? I mean, all of y’all have the opportunity to read Piracy Pays. No one has read Iron Flower, and I’m stretching myself by letting @rrrawrf-writes @lux-deorum@haphazardlyparked read Space Royalty in its raw first draft stage.

9. What usually catches your attention about a book first? Style? Characters? Plot? I’m quite an easy reader to catch and hold tbh. What makes me love a book is a clever plot. For me, a very strong plot can carry weak-ish characters, but I can never read super deep characters with no plot.

10. Do you have a favourite author? Probs Rick Riordan, or Julia Golding.

******************************************************************************************* tagged by the wonderful @typeaadventures

1. How many works in progress do you have? Properly, three. Iron Flower, which is written (143k) but needs editing, Piracy Pays which y’all are reading, and Space Royalty which crossed 30k about a week ago

2. Do you/would you write fanfiction I used to! I stopped in Y12/13 because I didn’t have enough time to do fic and original writing, and I haven’t really had the time to pick it back up.

3. Do you prefer paper books or ebooks? Either, I’m not fussed. Though if it has a really pretty cover, I’ll be hankering after a paper copy

4. When did you start writing? 14-ish on Young justice fanfic

5. Do you have someone you trust that you share your work with? Not all of my work, but yeah, I have a lovely server and also some irl friends that get the junk landed on them

6. Where is your favourite place to write? At home chilling with my family while we all do stuff

7. Favourite book as a child? Dragonfly by Julia Golding

8. Writing for fun or publication? Hopefully publication, but I know I need to improve a lot first, honing my skills etc.

9. Have you taken writing classes? Not a lick

10. What inspired you to write? Gotta get those stories out of my head and onto the page, man. Gotta get that sweet sweet representation out there too.

thanks everyone!  xx

[its-love-u-asshole]

about me as a writer

I was tagged by @oiivkawa <3 Thanks so much, this was super fun!

Tagging: @emeraldwaves @ivyfics @calmgeyama @ohoholyshit @yatatsukki and?? anyone else who wants to I guess lol, I feel like most ppl I know how been tagged ^^ 

I’m putting my responses under the cut as well bc I know myself lmao, my responses can be long af ^^’’

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean? bleh I have two usernames, and both stories are embarrassing LOL I’ll go with my actual ao3 name though I guess?? When I was in middle (?) school I used to watch the anime HOTD, which is like...awful first off. It’s borderline hentai, shitty fanservice, the whole thing (don’t ask me why I watched it, bc who knows, the music was A+) but my favorite character’s name was Saya, and her servants would call her ladysaya, so that’s the explanation for that ha. I put the x in front because I used to be obsessed with x men and all the marvel/dc animated series, so it felt appropriate pft. Man, even talking about this brings back so many cringe worthy memories lmao forgive me. 

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (Bookmarks/ Subscriptions/ Hits/ Kudos) for Haikyuu!! it’s definitely Slipping Underneath, and for K Project it’s There You Are <3 

3. What is your AO3 profile icon and why did you choose it? It’s Semi! The reasoning for this is because I have 3 fav Haikyuu!! characters: Tsukishima, Oikawa, and Semi. So I just try to distribute my love evenly tbh lol. I have a Tsukki icon on here and discord, Semi for AO3, and Oikawa is on my phone case ^^ 

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters? ahhh I have several but I’m not aware if many of them have tumblr?? A lot of people who comment on every chapter of my multichapters are very special to me, I love them all! Ofc on here there’s @emeraldwaves @ivyfics @momomirasaki124 @uselessvalshit @starjem and then I have my other fav supporters @serviceace @caelestisxyz and @urikawa-miyuki  <3 

5. Is there a fanfic you keep going back to read again and again? Ah damn there are so many lmfao, I have a lot of fav fics and I don’t want to make this post super long. Please check out the rec posts I’ve done here and here ! Or also message me for specific types of fics <3 I will say though, one fic I always go back to read even though it’s been YEARS is a kyoukao fic by potionwine! 

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked? I consider myself pretty picky, but I do read a LOT of fic, so I have a decent amount of both ^^ About 187 bookmarks, and 16 fic/author subscriptions! 

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most? Probably college?? even though I know that’s super broad, and all kinds of different AUs can be based in college but that’s how it is lol. I think that’s because I honestly don’t like redoing AUs?? I like experimenting and making up really weird shit and original scenarios as much as possible. Though, I’m sure you can find apparent trends across all my fics ^^ 

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? haha...I have 76 user subscriptions, 436 general fic subscriptions, and 792 bookmarks. I don’t even know how that’s real lmao I feel so blessed that so many people enjoy my writing <3 

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!) not really honestly, if I have an embarrassing or indulgent idea at this point, I just write it lmao idc but there are lots of types of fics I am scared to write just bc I don’t know if I could do them justice heh....

10. Is there anything you’d like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc. yes lmao updating better would be something I’d LOVE to improve on ; ; Also writing action scenes too fff fuck action scenes

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often? Uhhh I’ve dabbled in both but yeah, more often than not I stick to more popular pairs just because I need content to motivate me pftt

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day? 50! 

13. How many stories do you have saved in/ with your writing program? Like WIPs? ffff WIPs...maybe like 4 or 5 at this point, including multichapters, and wow that’s actually not a lot, usually I have a ton and I’m drowning in them loool

14. Do you write down story ideas or just keep them in your head? Both...I usually just keep things in my head, but if a fic starts giving me issues, I like to plot it out

15. Have you ever co- authored a story? Nope, but I’d really love to at some point with a friend! 

16. How did you discover AO3? Uh I honestly don’t remember loool I think one day I sorta just saw that no one was using ff anymore and I was like ‘aight’ 

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3? Not really lmao, I mean...my siren au does pretty well, but otherwise my fics get kinda slept on -shrug- it is what it is 

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers? lol i do not

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write? Well I’ve always loved to write so no, but @brynne-lagaao is a big reason I started writing sarumi fics back when I was in K fandom! And nowadays in the hq fandom, a lot of amazing authors really push me to keep writing ^^ 

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author? don’t be afraid to write and write whatever you want basically lmao I know it can be daunting if you think your writing skills aren’t matching up with other authors, but the best thing you can do is practice, practice, and eventually you will see results! Also read a lot, reading other ppl’s stories really helps, and above all, just have fun with it! 

21. Do you plot out your stories or do you just figure it out as you go? I try to have a basic plot (beginning, middle, end) because I used to just DIVE IN to stories and it was awful lmao I need some sort of guideline, even if it’s small

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do? yes ofc, but I honestly try not to dwell on them because they’re not worth it. I either ignore or delete in most cases

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (Action, smut, etc) action and smut are never easy for me lol

24. What story(s) are you working on now? well right now I’m working on two secret santa fics for iwaoi, as well as my two kurotsuki multichapters! I am also trying to write kacchako as a x-mas present for a friend lol

25. Do you plan your new projects before you finish your current ongoing story(s)? ha yeah, it’s a bad habit but I have no self-control

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself? I do not! I just try to write at least a little bit each day if I can, but there’s never a word minimum I try to reach ^^ 

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started? oh 100% lmao comparing some of my old fics from even a year ago to my fics now is eye opening 

28. What is your favourite story that you have written? Shaking in My Skull for sarumi, it’s also the longest fic I’ve ever written and it holds a special place in my heart ; ; For kurotsuki it’s gotta be Let My Love 

29. What is your least favourite story that you have written? fuck me, Pencils and Paper LOL it was an earlier sarumi fic of mine and I just...hate it. I’m not even gonna link it LOL 

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years? Still writing fanfic most likely, maybe some original stuff (I hope!)

31. What’s the easiest part about writing? lmao nothing, writing is super hard work, sometimes even just thinking up ideas can be difficult, then there’s actually writing and making the ideas come to life, and don’t get me started on editing lmaooo writers are my heroes 

32. What is the hardest part about writing? Finding the motivation, at least for me. I struggle sometimes with it because I’ll have the time and inspiration but depression just kicks my ass every time fff

33. Why do you write? For me it’s super therapeutic, I love the satisfaction of putting hard work into an idea you love and finishing it, and the high that comes with that. Plus sharing the story with others and getting positive feedback is a feeling that can’t be beat. I’ve always loved writing, I love how the possibilities are endless, and I hope I never stop <3 

[drundertalescum]

11 Questions... x3

I was tagged by @sharada-n @audaciousanonj and @esmiden in that order

If anyone else tagged me, tag me again because I missed it!

1. Which are your favorite hot and cold drinks?

Cold drinks: Usually either milk or vanilla coke. I also like birch beer, root beer, and peach-cranberry juice, but usually I just stick with the milk and coke.

Hot drinks: TEA. Specifically this nice vanilla black tea that I've cracked the code on preparing in the microwave so it's both hot and very convenient. This is my go-to drink of any type.  Also coffee, hot chocolate, matcha, and just various types of teas. I prefer hot drinks over cold.

2. What’s your favorite color scheme/combination?

Usually I kind of default to dark turquoise/cyan and lighter orange/gold. It's the most common gradient map I use when I'm being lazy with coloring and also evident on my main blog's colour scheme. Toss in some red and you're in for a good time. I also really like maroons and pale greens but I don't use it that often.

3. Windows or Apple?

PC FOREVER

4. Do you believe in astrology?

Nah, I do find out kind of funny sometimes since my sign (Capricorn) is such an over-the-top dethawing ice queen in anything relating to “what the signs do when ___”  My Smart-People Astrology Sign (my Meyers-Briggs) turns up very similar content. I mean, granted, that runs truer than a hyper happy bubblegum type but it's still a bit boring.

I don't really buy too much into any of that sort of thing.

5. Would you punch me for 10$?

Wait are you paying me to punch you or am I paying you to be punched by me? Either way no.

6. Do you have any guilty pleasures?

HONESTLY in my main online community my guilty pleasure that I hide from the world is being Undertale trash.

To a lesser extent: my guilty pleasure that I hide away from this community is that I’m reality show trash. Specifically one particular reality show. It's 17 years old and Actually Very Good, but no one will ever believe me.

7. What’s your favorite flower?

We grow snapdragons sometimes. They're really neat! Otherwise it's hit or miss with me and flowers. Despite the main blog name that I've been using for like 10 years I've only recently started to kind of like roses. Mostly for the a e s t h e t i c.

8. What would you name your theoretical kids?

I change my mind on this one a lot. I usually like names that aren't common but also could sort of fit in in an old novel. Like Orville or Evander or something like that. I had a list once but I lost it. I also like Emily or Alma.

Some angry part of me wants to name a child November even though I know the awful fate I would be leaving them to by doing it.

In the end I am almost definitely not having kids so the most likely name I'm gonna pull out is naming a pet Papyrus someday.

9. Sweet or savory?

Depends, but I usually go for savory. Sweet drink-savory snack is my go-to.

10. Do you wear socks in bed or nah?

I don't wear socks at all unless it's very, very cold.

11. Could a horse fit through a window?

If you removed the panes from my windows a horse would just barely make it through. Probably needs to be a smaller horse though. It can't be too wide.

1) What’s your favorite holiday?

THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN

But truthfully i haven't been feeling it the last few years. I can't think of any holidays I have.

2) Loose clothes or tight?

As loose as possible. Though I'll take tight underlayer loose overlay.

3) Chrome, Firefox, or Safari?

I had a weird bug a few years back where my computer was constantly freezing up and crashing. I knew it was some sort of graphics issue but the word thing was it never crashed when I was playing a game, which lead to me using Portal 2 and Skyrim as ways of keeping my computer from crashing whenever it was idle, bumping up my times in both games to a ridiculous amount (though I still play both a lot). Turns out it was Firefox causing the crash, but I didn't realize because if I don't have a game open, I always have a browser up.

I had to switch to Chrome at that time and now I'm pretty settled on it. I do miss some aspects of Firefox though.

4) Favorite style of humor?

I love humor that's based around people and their habits. Not necessarily observational and I don't like it to actively mock people, but I like humor that's based around people and their attitudes and interactions, especially if it makes people feel more like characters or caricatures, but not stereotypes. I have a sort of dry sense of humor but that's not really required for this. It's hard to actively explain and I'm blanking on any great examples.

This definitely plays into the previously mentioned guilty pleasure.

5) Fluff or Angst (Reading)?

ANGST. Angst got me into this fandom when I solidified my terrible obsession with this game by reading I'm Feeling Fine, Kid and since then I've read close to every Papyrus-centric angst fic this fandom has put out.

Pretty much any I haven't read yet are in my read later list because I haven't been in the best heavy-angst mood lately.

I always take recs.

6) Fluff or Angst (Writing)?

Writing angst is so much easier for me. I think it's because I have a very introspective style which lends itself better to letting the sadness flow. It usually works out to angst with a side of fluff. But with art and comics, it's a lot less introspective so it ends up being fluff with a side of angst.

7) Do you make -sonas?

I kind of actively dislike making -sonas. It never feels right. I made one when I was about 16 (which I now dislike) and haven't really made one since. I generally just stick with a blob or stick person to represent me. Maybe a seahorse.

8) What are you gonna dress up as for Halloween?

A patient recovering from a cholecystectomy. Maybe one that also has spoopy face paint on and blogs about Undertale.

…I wish I was doing something for Halloween ;;;

9) What are you pickiest about?

Food and fonts. It's the ultimate irony that I fell so far for Undertale.

10) Have you seen my au Name the Fallen and if so what was your favorite part?

Save him Flowey, before he falls too far.

11) Papyrus is cool?

That's not a question. Nothing has ever been less of a question.

1. Favorite literature or movie genre

Hmmm… I really like mystery novels! Other than that, I’m a big fan of dramedies. Anything that mixes comedy or fantasy and feels is great.

2. Top five animated cartoons

This is going to be my knee jerk list and not necessarily accurate. It’s also not in any particular order.

Moana

The Incredibles

Wall-E

Lilo and Stitch

The Princess and the Goblin

3. If you could choose a fantasy land to stay in for the rest of your life, which one would you chose? Ps. You won’t be able to get back to the real world.

I would honestly head down to the Underground and let some monsters try to steal my soul. I think it’s the perfect blend of interesting but also not everything-trying-to-kill-me(-forever).

4. Favorite song at the moment?

Hopes and Dreams played backwards. Also Frozen Pines by Lord Huron and Ground Control by All Time Low and Walk Off The Earth’s cover of Heya

5. What is good design for you?

Oh man, this is a tricky question. I’m actually a designer but I’m very much a master of none. The most important thing in any design is readability and ease of use, though. No point in having a product you can’t use because the A E S T H E T I C is in the way. No point in a document or website you can’t read. No point in a gallery you can’t view. Good design should make things MORE usable, not less. Functionality should ALWAYS be the number one goal.

At the same time black and white helvetica minimalism is boring and terrible for most things. Gimme some COLOR, some LIFE. I don’t care if it’s cheesy or weird or quirky or outdated. I want things with detail and personality. 

(Note: you can totally have black and white minimalist helvetica and still hae personality. But I’ll take a “bad” design with some life to it over a mediocre design that follows all the rules)

6. What’s your favorite color scheme/combination?

I am a blue/orange shill, but theres a lot of schemes i like. Usually Cyan + any warm color

7. Which feelings effects you the most in literature/music/film etc.?

Tricky! I actually get the most into films about the connections between people (usually not romantic) or about identity (or loss of identity) and insecurities. I dunno why, they just effect me the most. They just do.

8. Favorite game?

Undertale (2015 Video Game). But also: Portal, Skyrim, the Fallout games, Kingdom Hearts, Bully, 7 Days to Die, The Forest, Friday the 13th, Stardew Valley, Reigns, Alto’s Adventure, Pixel Dungeon, Plague Inc, Life Is Strange, Tabletop Simulator, The Long Dark, What Remains of Edith Finch, Tropico, The Stanley Parable, The Flame in the Flood, Contagion, and The Sims.

I like Games.

9. What’s most important for you in a good movie?

I’ll enjoy any movie with well-concieved characters but the real gold medal goes to anything with post modern reality fuckery and/or magical realism. I like movies about movies or about storytelling. Big Fish, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Truman Show, Stranger Than Fiction are some of my favorite movies that sort of adhere to that. Gimme all the post-modern plotlines with likable characters and let me pretend there’s a happy ending. That’s all I’m looking for.

10. What’s your favorite time of the day and why?

Dusk. Everything cools down, the sky turns gorgeous colors, but it’s still not considered weird to go walking around or running errands. It’s just nice!

11. Extra because I’m out of ideas, if you got a painting. What would you want on it? XD

Nice colors and a good subject. Like Papyrus with huge biceps.

Here’s my questions! I’m going to tag the 3 that tagged me if they feel like doing this, plus anyone who wants to do it. Just tag me on the post so I can see!

1. What was your favorite fairy tale growing up?

2. Were you ever traumatized as a child by a movie or TV show?

3. Whats the weirdest dream that you can remember?

4. If you could be or do anything you wanted for a single day, anything at all, what would you be?

5. What is your favorite anecdote?

6. Have you ever painted your nails? If so, what’s your favorite polish/color?

7. What is the scariest thing you aren’t afraid of?

8. Are there any snacks that you like that most people probably haven’t heard of or tried?

9. Have you ever gone stargazing?

10. Tell me about your favorite idea you’ve had, whether it be a story or a game idea or anything else along those lines.

11. Whats your least favorite color?

[elriedreamer]

Read in 2019 Books Part 1

Suddenly decided I'd like to write a little about my Read in 2019 Books list (and practice my crusty English a little. win-win). Overall I'd read 52 books, including 5 graphic novels and shitton of nonfiction. There will be 4 parts.

Ok, let's start.

January to April

January

1. Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman - Good Omens. This was fun, even though I was reluctant to read it, since I had read 2 books by Pratchett about 10 years ago and didn't like them. Dunno. Maybe not my thing, maybe it was not his best works. Speaking of Gaiman, I love Stardust, Ocean in the End of Lane and especially The View from the Cheap Seats - it was amazing reading - but didn't like American Gods and some of short stories. Well, at least this can be easily explained - I'm not into dark edgy stuff, well mostly. Anyway, Good Omens was surprisingly good reading, and I liked TV series too. Though I liked kids' scenes more in book, than in series, but more Aziraphael&Crowley balances it, so can't say adaptation worse than book - both are fun.

2. Robert Sapolsky - Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers: The Acclaimed Guide to Stress, Stress-Related Diseases, and Coping. Whew. Russian title's WAY shorted than this. I think I already said somewhere here how I love Sapolsky, he's my fav professor and all. Watched his course Human Behaviour Biology on YouTube (thanks to Vert Dider it's translated to Russian), and then I just had to read his books. And if you want deeper understanding how this fucking stress thing works, than you should read this book. It's a little depressing - to know how badly stress affects us, but also has one chapter in the end with advice how to try to reduce it. And. Important thing when it comes to this type if nonfiction. I've only had biology lessons in school, my profession is very far from it, but it wasn't too hard to understrand even more complicated chapters.

3. Tana French - The Secret Place. Yup, why don't we start from the 5th book in series? The order is not so important in here though. I think I've seen @rivervixens rec on this book here on Tumblr. And I'm so glad for that. Tana French's writing is amazing. I've read her other books (about that later), but this one remains my favourite. Also I recommended it to my dad and he liked it very much too.

4. Tana French - In the Woods. This one I liked less - mostly because main character was annoying. I still liked the writing, so didn't stop on this, even if took a pause.

February

5. Emily X.R. Pan - The Astonishing Color of After. This one doesn't have Russian translation, so English it was. Another fav of the year. This story is about dealing with the loss of parent, so it is emotionally heavy. And at first I was sceptical about magical realism here. But in the end it wrapped up nicely. Bonus points: large part of the book takes place in Taipei, and maybe you don't know but there was long period in my life when I was super into everything Taiwanese: music, movies, tv series... So. Good read, can't recommend it enough.

6. Jason Schreier - Blood, Sweat, and Pixels: The Triumphant, Turbulent Stories Behind How Video Games Are Made. Another nonfiction with longass title. Super different theme. I like to play video games. Back in childhood we had Dendy, 3-DO and then PC - with DOS OS, Win 3.1 and forth and forth. I tried almost all genres back then I think, aside from mmo. But in the end I love only very specific one: single player RPG where you can create your own MC and have some kind of band of opinionated misfits. The last one I played was Dragon Age: Inquisition, which had astonishing scenery, some good story ideas (and some halfassed and some really terrible), 50 shades of bald/undercut instead of variety of hairstyles for your character, and fucking male animation for female MC. So, I had questions. And I've got some answers in this book. And better understanding of gamedev industry, since the book tells us about 10 most popular games from the last few years. If you are interested in video games and want some light nonfiction reading - this book is for you.

March

7. Theodora Goss - In the Forest of Forgetting. This is magical realism short stories and also the reason why so few read books in February. The writing is good, so it wasn't a problem. The problem was, probably, that I rarely like short stories (exceptions are Dreams Underfoot by Charles de Lint and In the Field Marshal's Shadow by Brian McClellan). Why do I stubbornly read them, I have no idea. If you know really good fantasy/steam-punk/mythopoetic/magical realism short stories, please recommend them to me.

8. Arsinoe de Blassenville - Victory at Ostagar. Okay this is actually a Dragon Age fic. Extra Super Long fic. Like 6 normal books long. For some reason it was on goodreads, so I added it here. This is not the best DA fanfic I'd read, not in my favs, MC feels like Mary Sue, I find some plot points weird and some characterization not on point, also didn't like the ending (not liking the ending is totally my problem, 'cause I find endings where everyone is paired up and with kids exceptionally annoying)... But it was interesting to read headcanon so vastly different from mine while not totally gruesome, which happens in this fandom frequently from what I've seen. And, you know it's still better than official DA books. Also, it won't be mentioned in this list, but I've read much better DA longfic in summer, and if you want a rec just ask.

9. Madeline Miller - Circe. Full disclosure: I'm not so much into Greek Mythology - I was in school, but not now. But I like when myth or legend or fairytale is told from different perspective, and this book was all over the goodreads recs, so. And it totally delivered. Thank you, goodreads, your recs are much better than livelib's.

April

10. Tana French - The Likeness. Back to Tana French, yay! Just you know, Russian title is changed and not for good. To something like Can the Dead be Back? Yep, in Russian it sounds just as awkward. Why must you do that, publishers? Whyyyy?! Anyway. Liked this one better than In the Woods, and don't find MC annoying, even if I didn't always understand her. Ah! I watched 3 eps (out of 8) of TV adaptation, which is based on the first 2 books. It has some good points, but overall the decision to merge two books in one timeline is making it messy.

11. Tana French - Faithful Place. Was good too.

12. T. Kingfisher - Clockwork Boys. Look at this. This is rare steam-punk jem. My favourite trope - band of misfits goes on quest full of dangers. In this case - unwillingly. They are very different people: a paladin, an assassin, a forger, and a scholar. The writing is brilliant! Dialogues are full of sarcasm and puns! It has some deep emotional stuff, it's full of action, despite it's size. And a pity - it is not translated, and it's a bit difficult to read such an intense writing. But still, I plan to read the second book this year.

13. Megan Miranda - All the Missing Girls. Ugh. Dunno how to tell about this one. The book was interesting to read, but it's full of liars. Seriously. From what I remember now, the only decent person was MC's fiancee, who seems like a good guy and totally didn't deserve how she treated him. And I'm usually on the girl's side. Maybe it's trope subversion. And MC's friends and their so-called friendship? Some unhealthy shit there. My main problem with this was probably the unsatisfactory ending. Can’t say anything more without spoilers, sorry.

[lainahastoomuchsparetime]

So that’s what I’m gonna do.

Let’s get the Night Vale presents stuff out of the way because I think those are the most well-known things, and, while good podcasts, probably the least interesting for a rec list.

  Welcome to Night Vale is probably the podcast that got a ton of people, including myself, into podcasts in the first place. If you don’t know, WTNV is a fictional radio show about a little desert town and the strange things that happen it. It’s super queer, quirky, and has some really good creepy moments. Librarians scare me because of this show.

I don’t really keep caught-up on this, but I do listen to a bunch at once every so often and catch up. With 154 episodes, a couple bonus episodes, and a bunch of live-shows, you’ve got a lot of backlog to keep you busy. Start at the beginning, though.

Alice Isn’t Dead is a horror podcast about a woman who sees her supposedly dead wife on a news broadcast and sets off to try and find her. And it only gets weirder from there. This series has an episode that has creeped me out more than anything else I’ve probably ever listened to. There are three seasons with ten episodes each, plus some bonus episodes. The series has been completed.

Within the Wires is a dystopian science fiction series about a strange alternate reality world. Season One is told through a series of relaxation tapes. Season Two is a set of art museum tour tapes. Season Three is a collected group of audio notations from a man to his secretary.

I’m a pretty big fan of this one, honestly. I don’t love the second season, but it’s still very solid and the third is super interesting. This is a very strange world, and I really like it.

Each season tells a separate story, but they do all take place in the same world. Very queer, as expected from Night Vale Presents, honestly, with a neat bonus being season 3 being narrated by a trans narrator. Ten episodes each season, and season four started September 2019.

Let’s talk about some of my other favourite things!

The Black Tapes was one of the first non-Night Vale podcasts I listened to and it’s still one of my favourites. Funny story, I thought this was going to be a non-fiction podcast. I mixed it up in my head with… Lore! It was totally Lore. Oh, I forgot I listened to a bit of that. So, in my head, this become a non-fiction podcast about urban lengends the way Lore is non-fiction about scary stories/historical events/whatever Lore’s deal is, I didn’t actually listen to that much of it.

And, boy, was I confused after the first episode. Or two. Eventually I realized this is a fiction horror podcast about journalist Alex Reagan’s research into Dr. Richard Strand’s work debunking paranormal activity – specifically the cases he has not been able to debunk. (Strand is basically a fictional version of James Randi, who’s an interesting dude.)

It begins as kind of a Monster of the Week story, but eventually expands from that into bigger arcs in a very natural way. It’s one that manages to balance telling the story without losing sight of where they started out. The third season is a little underwhelming, which sucks as it’s currently also the last season, but I suspect they might be working on things behind the scenes. There’s rumours about NBC working on a TV series, and also rumours about a fourth season. I would support that. It’s one of my favourites.

There’s also a series that takes place in the same universe called TANIS, and I think RABBITS is in the same universe too, but I wasn’t really super into either of those. This, however, is a big favourite.

The Bright Sessions is a science fiction podcast about therapy for people with psychic powers, or as the podcasts says, the strange and unusual. I am also strange and unusual, so I liked this. This is a very positive podcast. It does go a whole lot into a strange world and has some really exciting plotpoints, but a lot of it is just about healing and growth. It made my heart do things a bunch. Not a scary one.

Relevant to my book people, there is a YA book featuring two of the characters coming out (whenever) and I have an eARC of it so you might be seeing a review of that soon. Hopefully.

This also has a ton of queer rep, including an explictly ace character. It also has a musical episode. Yes, that’s as cool as it sounds. There are 64 episodes, plus a bunch of bonus episodes. There’s also a spin-off series but it’s behind a paywall so I haven’t checked it out. This is a satisfying complete series without it.

ars PARADOXICA is a science fiction podcast about Sally Grissom, a physicist who accidentally invents time travel and sends herself back to 1943. And then it gets really weird. If you really like science fiction, this is the one I’d recommend the most. It’s very important to listen to this one in order, as it’s very plot heavy.

This is also way more queer than you’d expect a podcast set in the 40s to be. Sally is explictly asexual and heavily aro-coded, and there are several other major queer characters. Honestly this just has decent representation in general, and most of it is handled in a very sensitive way. A lot of things like racism or antisemitism aren’t just brushed aside as being “Well, it’s the 40s”.

Partway through this, there is a plot involving gun violence. The creators talk about their decision whether to include it or not, and they begin to give content warnings before each episode when needed. I really appreciated that.

This series is complete at thirty-six episodes, with a couple bonus episodes. There’s also a crossover episode between this and the Bright Sessions.

Now, if you’ve never listened to a podcast before and you’re a little intimidated by the idea of getting into something really long and involved, I’d recommend this next podcast.

The Message is basically a mini-series. It’s a science-fiction podcast that, and no one is going to get this reference, kind of reminded me of the movie Scooby-Doo and the Alien Invasion. My brain makes weird leaps sometimes. We all kind of just need to run with it.

Produced by GE, it tells the story of a college student making a podcast following the team tasked with decoding a message sent to earth by aliens seventy years ago. There are only 8 episodes, and most of them are only about 10 minutes, so this is a very good beginner podcast.

Not a super queer podcast, but there is a nonbinary character among the main cast.

I also listened to GE’s second podcast, Life-After, but I wasn’t as big a fan of that. The two are not related storywise.

The Far Meridian is another one I think is pretty approachable for beginners. The episodes tend to be under twenty minutes. And this one is more of a fantasy podcast than science-fiction like a lot of the others have been. I would almost say this has a bit of a magical realism theme, and the writer has talked about being influenced by that genre.

The main character of this, Peri, is an agrophobe who wakes up one morning to find her lighthouse has begun traveling the world. Over the course of the show, you begin to realize how weird the world she’s exploring actually is. The second season especially does some things I personally found super creepy, and I loved it.

It deals with a lot of trauma and anxiety, especially in the second season, but it’s handled so well. They end every episode with “May you always find your way”, and I find that really fitting and also comforting. It’s not a fake Instagram type of positivity. It feels hopeful.

Peri is a Latina woman and I believe most of the cast are people of colour. Peri is also queer, but generally does not want labels put on her yet. She’s okay not knowing. This, also, happens in a scene where another character defines her own bisexuality as being attracted to “cool girls and people who don’t really subscribe to that whole gender thing” which is great.

Overall, I’m a big fan of this one and I can’t wait for the third season in January 2020. Oh, hey, pro-tip: The Google Play feed for this doesn’t have the full second season for some reason, so you have to switch to iTunes or Spotify for the rest of it if you listen to your podcasts there.

Now this one I just finished listening to!

The Bridge is a science fiction podcast set in an alternate-world 2016 where a giant bridge (shocker) has been built across the Atlantic Ocean, taking place within one of the watchtowers on said giant bridge, which has been mostly abandoned and left to rot by the mainland.

Okay don’t make fun of me, but I’m kind of a new introductee to the idea of Lovecraftian lore/mythology? For some reason I kind of missed that whole thing until pretty recently. I only got semi-familiar with it because a Let’s Player I watch played a Cthulhu game, and then a youtube channel that talks about book adaptations I also watch did an episode about one of Lovecraft’s books.

So I’m gonna say this is kind of based on Lovecraftian stuff, but I don’t know enough to say if it’s inspired by it, or actually based on a specific work, but it has that kind of feel. The world in this is really interesting, with things like haunted houses and possessed puppets. They also do a great job with world-building of the way things were back in the heyday of the bridge.

One of the main characters, Bertie, is canonically queer, and talks about his fiance who passed away, and others have been confirmed queer by word of God, but I can’t find said word of God, so I don’t know who they mean and therefore can’t really talk about that. There’s been basically no focus on romance, though, so it not coming up hasn’t felt unnatural.

This has 14 episodes and a bunch of mini-episodes, and while there hasn’t been an update since October 2018, their twitter leads me to be it will be soon. I really like the world of this one, and can’t wait for there to be more.

Parts of it actually reminded me of:

Girl in Space, which is a science fiction podcast about a girl (duh) in space (duh) with only an artificial intelligence system, various birds, and a goat to keep her company… until she sees something on the horizon.

This is still a baby podcast, with only one season (the last episode of which I still need to listen to) but it’s interesting. There’s some things they’re hinting at that I am super excited about seeing explored in season two, and the worldbuilding is really fun. The sun is probably alive, y’all. And I mean, like, it might be sentient.

I have a couple of minor gripes with a similar thing to the Bridge, where characters have only been said to be queer outside of the actual show, but if the words “Cheese is delicious science” appeal to you, check this one out.

And speaking of mixed feelings:

The Box! The Box is a horror podcast about a college drop-out that finds a strange box (again, shocker) in the bookstore she works in, her discovery that it’s full of strange journals, and her search to uncover the truth about them.

There’s a lot I actually like in this. When I started listening to it, I was really missing the Black Tapes and they have the same sort of feeling at the beginning. I like this kind of podcast where a narrator tells you a story every episode, and then the world builds on top of that. It’s not everyone’s thing, but I’m into it. It’s a good premise, and for quite some time into the show, I enjoyed it.

And then it gets weird. And obviously it starts weird, most of these podcasts get weird at one point, but it starts to be strange in a way that I wasn’t enjoying. I started to find it more silly than scary.

There’s also a romance that I found dull as doorknobs, and there’s a thing that I would like to complain about, but I can’t confirm it exactly, and there are not transcripts so I can’t check something without re-listening to the whole podcast. As there are forty episodes and bonus episodes, I’m not about to just jump into that. So I’ll just complain about a lack of transcripts instead.

The Box also has times where the sound design is just terrible. There’s one episode where, in-world, it’s being recorded on a broken recorder, parts of it from another room. And, yes, it makes sense in-world. But to actually listen to it, I had it on full blast as high as I could and I still could barely hear it and missed a lot of the episode. And, again, no transcripts to read with it. And my hearing is okay. If you have any kind of auditory processing issues, that episode basically just says “screw you”.

However, I do like how they work social topics into the stories. At times it can be a bit clumsy, but I give them kudos for trying, at least. There’s an episode that includes real-life audio from something related to a real death of a black person by police brutality. I believe it’s in the episode Strange Fruit but I don’t remember and again, no transcripts. I find this especially frustrating when it comes to potentially triggering material.

This one’s currently on hiatus and I’ll probably check it out whenever it returns (it’s a show prone to long hiatus), but I wouldn’t recommend it unhesitantly. It does a lot of things I like, but I definitely have mixed feelings overall.

Palimpsest is another horror podcast. It tells a new, standalone story each season, with all their stories relating to memory and things that haunt us. I liked both, but especially the second season.

Season one is about loss and memory and forgiveness, and what it means to be haunted by something. It’s largely about the relationship between the MC and her sister and the romance is very minimal, but there’s some (what I call) incidental queerness. It’s not in a way like a Night Vale Presents thing is, or the Bright Sessions, or something like that, but it’s nice not to have it ignored.

GIANT trigger warning for gun violence and child death. Also, there’s thing on-going theme about the creepy sound of a wooden swing in the backyard and, as I was listening to this when I went for walks, I realized I walk past three different wooden swings.

Season two is set in the late 19th or early 20th century or so, and is based in Irish fae mythology which is totally up my alley. This is also the series where the idea of immigrants and people being raised by immigrants having accents confused someone so much I almost didn’t listen to it based on their review. I’m not salty about that, obviously.

Season two is also really freaking queer. Overall this isn’t a really scary horror podcast – it’s more eerie and a little sad. And eerie and a little sad is my favourite mood for ghost stories. My only real complaint is this also doesn’t have transcripts available.

Spines is a pretty recent listen for me, one I really enjoyed. This is kind of like a mash up of all the things I liked about The Box and Darkest Night and Archive 81 without any of the things I didn’t like in any of those. It’s definitely horror, with some body horror elements, and some… is tasteful gore a thing? Body horror and gore elements are used very tastefully and sparingly, and to great effect.

It’s the story of Wren, who wakes up in an attic covered in blood, with no memory at all, and some weird cult ritual surrounding her. She runs, and starts the podcast in an attempt to find her friends, who she’s sure were in the attic with her, and her other half, Zachary, the only name she can remember.

It’s weird but good weird. Solid world-building and really good character building. There’s a particular message that I appreciated that being someone’s “soulmate” didn’t mean you didn’t have a choice in whether or not you wanted to be romantically or sexually involved with them. It’s subtle but again well-handled.

Also, Wren is queer and this is really trans inclusive. There are several times where the show goes against the usual cisnormative thing most media would say in a similar situation, which honestly makes sense as it’s written by a trans writer. There’s also a very significant canonically intersex and nonbinary character, voiced by the writer of the show.

This is a creepy, weird little podcast that made my heart very happy. It’s complete at three seasons of eight episodes each and honestly quite underrated. Big recommend.

Finally, let’s talk about my favourite podcast.

I recently learned that the term “weird fiction” exists as a genre label. Mabel is very much weird fiction. In Mabel, Anna Limon begins a new job as a home health caretaker to an elderly woman named Sally. The house is… strange, and Sally is strange, and Anna probably shouldn’t look too deeply at any of that, but of course she does.

It is a horror podcast with deep folklore/mythology roots, possibly also somewhat Celtic/fae based, but it’s such a blend of things that I can’t draw any hard lines of things I specifically recognize besides one or two things, and that makes it so unique.

Listen to Mabel in the fall. Listen to Mabel when it might rain, when it’s a little windy, when the leaves are crunchy under your feet. When the air smells just a little like decay. Or, you know, whenever, because it’s great, but it is an amazing fall podcast. It’s also super queer, fyi.

Mabel has forty seasons currently, with I think five seasons? There is also a five-part bonus series. It’s really cool. If you don’t listen to anything else I recommend, listen to this.

I also listened to Limetown but I feel like everyone’s heard of that one, and I’m currently listening to Ghosts in the Burbs which so far is kind of interesting, but I’m only like two episodes in.

Alright! Have you listened to any of these? What did you think? What podcasts would you recommend for me? Did you enjoy this post at all? Comment and let me know!

Peace and cookies, Laina

I kinda just wanna talk about podcasts So that's what I'm gonna do. Let's get the Night Vale presents stuff out of the way because I think those are the most well-known things, and, while good podcasts, probably the least interesting for a rec list.

[sweetcron]

11-97

hhelllll yEAHHHHH HERE WE GO BABIE!!!!!!! THANKS FOR THE ASK!!!

i probably went too hard on all these but....one of my summer classes just finished and i was like yeahahhHhhahah

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

totally depends where i am and how much time i have, but typically ill have yogurt & something small but sweet so i dont go insane

12. name of your favorite playlist?

god right now my favorite is handle without care, which is just stupid songs im into right now

13. lanyard or key ring?

lanyard, except i always get it caught on shit so typically i just throw my keys in my bag anyway

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

oooo hard one, my initial thought was sour gummy worms, but probably... either that or sour skittles. oh but fuck lemon & black licorice jelly beans together......im excited to have 0 followers & 0 friends tomorrow

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

percy jackson was dope. im trying to come up with another that i even read and frankly cannot

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

honestly i just sit like a fool all the time, but i like to be very reclined and almost horizontal, if im forced to sit more upright i like crosslegged or with my leg(s) pulled up to my chest

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

depends on the season or length of time, recently it’s been my black high top vans, usually it’s my docs. for a long time it was black converse.

18. ideal weather?

i like when it’s a little sunny, kind of overcast, but a little cold, like enough to wear layers but not suffer

19. sleeping position?

on my side, curled up, ideally holding pam(ela indestructable underworld), my adorable stuffed sloth

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

depends on what it is, but I have a planner sort of thing i really like for planning, a sketchbook/painting sort of notebook for more emotional shit and then my twitter that nobody follows and is private for really emotional shit

21. obsession from childhood?

i loved making like..dirt, water, and grass mixtures in an empty gatorade bottle. apparently this is not a common experience.

22. role model?

everyone to an extent, but also nobody. but to pin down a specific person, probably my therapist lol

23. strange habits?

i keep listening to shiny from moana? also i keep wanting to change my hair.

24. favorite crystal?

oh god, i love opal, but i dont know. most are pretty but some are awful. it depends, and id have to look at a million pictures for any resemblance of a legitimate answer

25. first song you remember hearing?

that’s so hard um. i dont remember very early but i do remember hearing crush, crush, crush by paramore and thinking ew crushes are gross even though i had a crush on a dumbass at the time, and welcome to the black parade and crying

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

warm, probably a concert but past that, walking around, going to thrift stores or record shops. 

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

a concert, again but past that going home, or getting a warm drink

28. five songs to describe you?

oh LORD!!!!! this is hard, but i did my best

1. caught in the middle - paramore

2. grow - muna

3. cool for cats - squeeze

4. cut my lip - twenty one pilots

5. tubthumping - chumbawumba

29. best way to bond with you?

share music with me, be vulnerable and share what is going on with you

30. places that you find sacred?

being in trees and being alone listening to music that means a lot to me loudly

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

i have a mustardy yellow shirt that’s got vertical lines that are raised from the shirt, and then a flared leg jumpsuit sort of thing that’s like plaid, with black and white and grey. then docs, and yeah i love that outfit. adore it. even better with a jean jacket with fleece lining.

32. top five favorite vines?

also so hard but after doing this i think im gonna throw up from laughing so hard

1. dancing puppet

2. get outta your mind

3. cat

4. WAY TO GO PAUL

5. krispy kreme

33. most used phrase in your phone?

that’s a great question, probably me asking people what to do with my hair

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

none currently, but always “meat, it’s what’s for dinner”

35. average time you fall asleep?

depends, but usually 10ish

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

probably some rage meme like brian or whatever

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

depends on what im doing, but usually duffel.

38. lemonade or tea?

arnold palmer babie!! but it depends, usually i’d say tea, i really like lemon ginger (especially pukka but its expensive)

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

i dont know if i’ve had lemon meringue pie, but lemon cake sounds better i think

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

i remembered this and it is entertaining, in middle school (i was...prolly 14? 13?) someone said “someone likes uuuu” to me and i was like. “......k” and they were like..... “it’s a giiiiiiirl” and i again, was like “.......k” and so literally, i fucking spent the rest of the class being like, hm! apparently i dont care. and thats how i realized that idc about gender when it comes to liking someone lol

41. last person you texted?

max, @laetan​. follow him if u dont i love him

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

women’s pant pockets are cursed. jacket pockets enlighten me, especially when there’s one normal and then one like, on top of that pocket but the entrance is horizontal. that’s my favorite.

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

all? but let’s rank them 

1. jean jacket, my absolute fav, i have like 5 jean jackets and it’s bad. i always want more

2. hoodie, with a jean jacket is even better, but COMFY!!!!

3. leather jacket, look like a badass with one piece of clothing!!

4. bomber jacket, dont have a lot but always make me feel cool

5. cardigan, makes me feel like an old lady, but also really comfy idk. even the worst is amazing

44. favorite scent for soap?

i love lemon, but any fruit is good. or like, vanilla

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

sci-fi usually....fantasy is usually too much and superhero is usually annoying. unless it’s spiderman. i adore spiderman

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

oversized soft t shirt and like, soft shorts/boxer things

47. favorite type of cheese?

GOAT CHEESE!!! also sharp cheddar and pepperjack

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

pear. i feel like i’m not talked about a lot but people like me and nobody despises me??

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

i really like “you can start over each day” and “only skeleton bones remain” (FUCKING CLIKKIE)

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

i feel like ive cried laughing so hard, or almost thrown up, but i dont know why, and that’s almost better

51. current stresses?

just general body things, appointments, school in the fall, graduating, etc

52. favorite font?

it depends on what im doing, but i love my own handwriting, i like times new roman, hate arial with a PASSION!!!!! brawler is nice but doesn’t bold well. handwriting fonts are cool too

53. what is the current state of your hands?

left hand’s nails is in silver glitter and right hand’s nails are blue/purple glitter. perpetual hangnails. still a hint of a scar from cutting my hand on a razor, and remnants of blisters from rowing

54. what did you learn from your first job?

that you can be kind and see change without changing the entire world, and that men are creepy as shit

55. favorite fairy tale?

i dont think i have one? max probably has a good one that i’d love. new ask game send me ur favorite fairy tales and ill read them and review them

56. favorite tradition?

my mom makes me a half birthday cake every year, it’s really cute and idk why it warms my heart

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

fuck dude, umm this is hard and also a lot

1. my extreme self hatred!!

2. my extreme concern for other people’s thoughts, just honestly like dressing and listening to whatever and not really caring, ill always care, just not as bad as i did

3. letting go of things and trying to grow because of pain rather than viewing it as a waste of time

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

uhhhhhghaghhaghdshaghdhsaghadshg i dont know this is hard

1. finding dope ass socks at thrift stores

2. thinking creatively and trying to make something stranger than others like it

3. i can draw p well???? i guess? i designed my tattoo does that count

4. winning contests. i won like, 10 last year? like wtf

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

recently it would be life’s a sham and then ur wow, in reference to life’s a bitch and then you die and also shamwow. so that. or just constantly referring to things as bad boys, like. dishes.

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

there’s different kinds? but ummmm i dont know, i dont want to google anime types. can i say like a miyazaki movie and be done with it

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

i dont know, can i do a song? bc i really like I’m alive in spite of me recently, also like this graffiti that i say that said 33 might mason men couldn’t put me back together again

62. seven characters you relate to?

oh boy, i asked my gf for help on some

1. nick miller from new girl

2. peter b. parker from into the spiderverse

3. dean mccoppin from iron giant for some reason

4. emile from ratatouille 

5. a mix of ben and leslie from parks and rec

6. a weird mix of chris and ron from parks and rec

7. rodrick from diary of a wimpy kid

63. five songs that would play in your club?

1. come down by anderson paak

2. send me on my way by rusted root

3. doses and mimosas by cherub

4. replay by iyaz

5. rap snitch knishes by mf doom

64. favorite website from your childhood?

WEBKINZ!!!!!

65. any permanent scars?

yeaaa got a lot, most prominent are on my legs, partially just stretch marks, and then the one on my forehead from when i got stitches

66. favorite flower(s)?

i love carnations, marigolds, roses, but really anything, fuck

67. good luck charms?

i don’t have any, i used to wear a bracelet my gf gave me but it broke. *insert gif of me trying to remember when it broke and if that’s when everything went to shit*

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

centipede jelly bean. worst thing ive ever had. it wouldn’t go away for a day even with eating other things and drinking water and chewing strong gum. horrible

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

i have no idea. truly

70. left or right handed?

i am right handed

71. least favorite pattern?

houndstooth, i really don’t like it for some reason

72. worst subject?

i am oh so bad at writing, it’s really hard for me. but honestly recently every subject is horrible.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

this was mentioned before, but black licorice and lemon. i’ve only had it with jelly beans, so maybe it’s not as good in other formats

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

depends on what it is, if i think a migraine is coming then i take it pretty low, maybe a 4, otherwise i can deal with it up to like a 6 or 7, unless i’m needing to focus

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i dont know when, but i do remember where. i was at a drive through bank in a rental car with my parents and brother in oregon, and i put the tooth in the lid of a plastic water bottle.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

jalepeno potato chips are soooo good but, honestly, tots are the best. mashed potatoes are good too

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

depends on the direction it’s facing and climate, but i’m growing some ivy right now and it’s so pretty and cool. also a christmas cactus that my great great great grandma or something like that started and has been passed down!!!! and a ..... leafy boy

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

absolutely coffee from a gas station, i dont trust sushi

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

my school id because i’m smiling. i look stoned or dead in my id.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

i didn’t entirely know what this meant, so i googled both and went oooooooo to jewel tones so. jewel tones.

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

i say both, i don’t know which i say more frequently because i live where there aren’t ....... lightning bugs. ore fireflies. whichever. lol

82. pc or console?

i dont game much, but i like my psp a lot, or like a joystick sort of sitchhhh

83. writing or drawing?

dRAWING FOR SURE!

84. podcasts or talk radio?

podcasts, i don’t listen to much of either

84. barbie or polly pocket?

can i throw in a third variable of bratz?

85. fairy tales or mythology?

either, but probably mythology

86. cookies or cupcakes?

depends on the kind, but i love frosting and cupcakes are fun, so cupcakes.

87. your greatest fear?

that i will lose everyone i love or push them away? eeeee

88. your greatest wish?

to be content and hopefully other people are content alongside me

89. who would you put before everyone else?

honestly my gf, max, and steph. and my mom. yeyeeeee

90. luckiest mistake?

oh god we could go deep or not. probably not. so like, buying pamela, my stuffed sloth

91. boxes or bags?

depends on the situation, but bags are fun, can put patches on them, plastic bags are boring and boxes are useful, help organize or carry lots of things

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

sunlight absolutely, i love it. i then would say lamps are better than fairy lights which are better than overhead lights. fuck overhead lights

93. nicknames?

for me? okay lets GO. delly, delly boi, dell, d, glen, glenjamin, glenny, yenaled. there’s a lot of weird/gross ones that i dont want to share.

94. favorite season?

fall in theory, summer in stability.

95. favorite app on your phone?

wasn’t this already asked? CAUGHTCHA

96. desktop background?

switches between 3 pictures around colorado that my gf took

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

five

98. favorite historical era?

good question, i honestly don’t know. can i say the 80s or 90s? if not like, before racism existed. yeah