#let me just say that I saw this movie during a very formative time in my life

[helioooss]

midnight rain

synopsis: sana and y/n used to be the top celebrity couple in the entertainment industry. over a decade after a nasty break up, they meet again at a jimmy kimmel show

w/c: 5.2k

warnings: mentions of drug use and overdose, read at your own risk, angst with a happy ending

a/n: first story in ten years, creative brain’s a bit rough these days, haven’t been on tumblr since its golden days. also not proofread. hope ur all well and enjoy this one :)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Your heart was beating out of your chest, each thump pushing you further you into a downward spiral as your clammy palms tapped against your bouncing knee. Leaning against the chair, you refused to make eye contact with anyone — the worried look on your face was enough to push them away, anyway. In a situation like this, it would be strange to not feel anxious.

After all, it had been over ten years since you let the love of your life go and agreeing to see her on live television was a decision that you have been regretting since the day you said yes.

Two minutes, you blew a breath out as you stared up at the monitor in front of you.

"Welcome to the Tonight Show!" Jimmy trailed off with a smile, the audience in front of him clapping as they yelled in excitement. "Thank you for being here, tonight we have two very special guests —"

A staff member tapped your shoulder, pulling you out of your messy thoughts with his apologetic face. "Y/N, it's time."

Uncrossing your legs, you nodded your head with a shy smile. The fact that you could hear your own heartbeat amongst all the noise made you uneasy, so you stood there for a moment longer; wondering what Minatozaki Sana looked like in person.

You haven't been this nervous since the world found out about your relationship with her.

Taking a deep breath, you walked out with your heart in your throat. You bowed your head at Jimmy and waved your hand at the audience members, screaming can be heard from the other end; your name being chanted, their anticipation shining through from seeing you on television again after what seemed like an eternal hiatus.

It would be a lie to say it didn't feel good to relive what was once your life like, but you don't regret disappearing from the spotlight.

You were happier now, away from all the awards and glory, you think.

As if you were in a movie, time suddenly stopped as she emerged from the other side in the black Yves Saint Laurent dress you bought her all those years ago — brown hair flowing freely past her shoulders as she mirrored your gestures towards the crowd. Watching her fondly, you were reminded of the moonlight that illuminated the surface of the endless ocean; truly God's masterpiece in its purest form. You were frozen in your spot as you stared at her with the utmost adoration and respect.

Then, she finally settled on your eyes and suddenly you felt like a kid again.

"Hello stranger," she said with a sly smile, taking the seat next to yours with the crowd going wild at your first interaction. "Hi Jimmy, thank you for having me."

"Yeah, I'm gonna pretend that you didn't acknowledge Y/N first," he teased, making her and everyone else chuckle. "Anyway, wow, you look wonderful. And so do you, Y/N!”

You grinned, nodding as you try to remember the rough script on how the conversations would go in your head. "Thank you for having me back here, Jimmy, I appreciate it."

"It's the both of you this time," he raised his eyebrow suggestively. "Which is amazing, the world hasn't seen you together in twelve years. Am I right?"

"Yes," she looked at you, heaving out a breath as she laughed. "Sorry, it just feels so weird to see you again."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Suddenly, you were pulled back into past; during the last time you ever saw her in the alleyway behind Stanley's; your favourite getaway restaurant during midnights. Every now and then, you remembered it; the pain from losing her always came back like it just happened and you wonder if you've really moved on.

"We can't keep doing this," she said with tears welling in her eyes. "It's so hard, Y/N, and as much as I love you, our relationship is mentally breaking me."

You shook your head in desperation, cupping her cheeks with both of your hands. "That's what they want, you know that, our fans want us to break up. You don't have to do this, baby, I'm sure there's another way. We can talk to both of our managements —"

She sighed, pulling away from you. Both physically and emotionally. "I've spoken to mine and they respect my decision.

You paused, repeating the words in your head to make sure you heard her right. It felt like she just stabbed you in the back as you gawked at her with defeat in your eyes, shoulders slumping while piecing everything together. "The last time you spoke to them about our relationship was over a month ago, and you're only talking to me about this now? Is that how you've been feeling this whole time?"

Her tears rolled down her face, understanding the betrayal you felt. "It's not just the fans, Y/N, it's literally everything. I barely get to talk to you and see you. How can we both work it out when we can't even create time for each other?"

"I'll do anything for you, my love, just say the word and I will cancel everything - you know that! Every project, every interview, every shoot, literally anything —"

"No, I stand by my decision," she said firmly. "Perhaps, when you and I have achieved all our dreams...then we can work it out. This isn't the right time for us —"

"Four fucking years, Sana," you bellowed angrily, fists clenching. There was pain written on her face from hearing you call her by her name. "From the very beginning, we have been there for each other. What the fuck am I supposed to do without you?"

"Let me go — we'll both be happier without each other."

"No," you shook your head, tugging her closer towards you. However, she resisted. "Please, please don't do this. Don't leave me like this. What happened to forever?"

Her tears rolled down her cheek at the sound of your defeated voice. As much as it hurt her, she had to make up a lie on the spot. "I don't love you anymore. I — there's someone else."

Just like that, all of your hopes and dreams for the future shattered. Without her, the life you built meant nothing.

She really wanted you out of her life and there was nothing you could do about it. Shoulders slumping, you looked down - the thunderous roar of the oncoming storm startled her whilst it had no effect on you. "Okay, I see what you're doing. It's going to start raining, you should go."

She doesn't know whether it was the coldness in your voice or the wind, nonetheless, she shivered. "Y/N -"

"Leave, that's what you wanted, right?" you looked up at her, eyebrows furrowing. "I don't understand what I've done to you to justify what you're doing. I know I don't deserve any of this. If you're going to leave, leave now and never come back. And when I say never, I mean it, Minatozaki Sana."

She nodded her head, turning on her heel with a sob. Tiny specks of rain began to pour down on you, the rest of your world going down with it. You watched her walk away from you as if it were the easiest thing - did she ever really love you?

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

"I can't pinpoint whether that's a good thing or not, but considering I'm your ex, I'd say that's a bad thing," you joked, rolling your eyes playfully.

She laughed once more, shaking her head at you. You swear that sound never failed to put you on a pedestal. "It's just surreal, I haven't seen you in so long. You look younger than I can remember."

"You never reply to any of my messages," you put your hands up at her as Jimmy bursted into another set of laughter. You didn't know where the confidence was coming from, but you were relieved you were feeling something else other than being constantly nervous. "I'm joking, I don't have her number. I'm sure you don't mind giving it to me after the show, right?"

"God, get a room," Jimmy whined, turning you into a blushing mess. "Before you both propose to each other, Sana, let's talk about the dress you're wearing tonight. Somebody may or may have not told me that you're wearing something very special."

"We'll talk about my number after the show," Sana turned to you, winking; making the heat rise on your face. "Yes Jimmy, this dress is probably my favourite one out of everything - I don't wear it very often, obviously, but this beautiful Yves Saint Laurent piece was a gift from Y/N thirteen years ago."

You stared at her in awe, the way she spoke with so much grace never failed to impress you. The years had done her a favour - life always seemed easier on her than it was on you.

She left you behind, after all.

"Look, I'm just glad you kept it because this archival piece cost me a lot back then," you admitted with the biggest grin on your face as you looked at anyone but her. You couldn't place what it was about her that struck you so forcefully, but you simply couldn't take your eyes off her and you somewhat needed to feel in control of your emotions. "It was our first anniversary, I had just gotten a pretty decent check from Little Women and I wanted to give her something special."

"You got a big check in twenty-nineteen and the first thing you thought of was a dress for your girlfriend instead of a Lamborghini to flaunt on Instagram?" Jimmy scoffed as you and Sana giggled at him. "Get out of here!"

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Your anniversary was coming up and frankly, you wanted to give her the world. You were panicking inside; with the amount of things you've gotten her, none of them felt special. You hummed as you sat in Chou Tzuyu's kitchen, patiently waiting for her to acknowledge you.

"You know, if you weren't my friend, I'd have you sent out of my house already," she grumbled in a playful way. "Seriously, I'm telling you that she will love that Saint Laurent dress by Tom Ford."

You sighed, shaking your head. "It's our anniversary though, it's special. Do you think giving her a dress and taking her to Hawaii are good enough?"

"Jesus Y/N, that woman looks at you with stars in her eyes — she will love anything you get her. If you ask her to marry you right now, I believe she will say yes in less than a heartbeat."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The show was going very well, you felt relieved as time went by, and you were actually enjoying the things you found out about Sana after you had broken up.

She went on to become a successful solo artist and fashion model after Twice's disbandment, and you couldn't be any prouder. It had always been her dream and you always knew she was made to be a superstar - you prayed for her to achieve it, even if it meant she would be harder to reach.

You were able to open up about your past; the dark hole you fell into after the breakup — all the women, the legal troubles and the projects that failed because of your behaviour; it wasn't easy to talk about, but somehow, the way she intensely listened made all the fear go away. It would be an understatement to say you haven't felt this comfortable in years — just watching her talk about her passions put you in awe.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

You were barely conscious in a suite at The Ritz in Paris, an unlit cigarette resting on your mouth as you scrambled to find the lighter in your pocket. The only thing illuminating the room was that stupid lamp on the office table. And you hated it, you really did, because it was the same model she broke the last time you were here with her.

You felt so warm - breathing heaved and beads of sweat forming on your forehead. And you laughed to yourself because it was pathetic, really. You were all alone in the city of love because the love of your life decided she wanted to move on from you.

And suddenly, the door opened with Jongin appearing from behind it.  "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Kai..." you could barely mutter his name as the world spun around you. "You're here!"

He knelt in front of you, forcing you to sit up. He tapped both of your cheeks worriedly. "Look at me, open your fucking eyes!"

You cupped his face back with a chuckle, everything seemingly softer around the edges. "Eyes open."

"I need you to tell me how much of these pills you had and when," he dangled the two bags in front of you but all you could think of was her face; the way her eyes lit up whenever you told her you loved her and that smile of hers that never failed to put you in a spiral. "Momo, I need you to stop freaking out and call an ambulance right now."

You were lying against Jongin's chest, your vision blacking in and out.

"We're at the Windsor suite at The Ritz, we have called the hotel medic and they're coming," you heard someone frantically say. "Y/N looks really unwell. Please hurry, please!"

There was buzzing all around you, and you smiled to yourself before giving in and closing your eyes. "Happy 27th birthday to me."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

"But how are you doing now?" Jimmy asked with a sympathetic look in his face.

"I..." you looked down, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. "I don't think I know who I am anymore after everything. I regret everything that I've done - all the fame and the money, I don't think it was worth losing myself over the superficial things. Then again, rehab and lots of therapy helped me a lot, you know, I always thought I wouldn't make it past 27...but here I am. All thanks to everyone who held me together."

Everyone began clapping in the audience, your cheeks reddening at all the attention. Despite being a nervous wreck, you managed to let out a small smile. You could feel her eyes on you, yet you refused to look again.

"Would you change what happened in the past?"

Deep down, you were aware of the answer to his question. It'll always be a yes. Everything that you have now wasn't worth more than her.  As ridiculous as it sounded, you would've given it all up for her; without her in your life, it always felt like you achieved it for nothing.

It was supposed to be her and you against the world. As much as it sounded wrong, your love for her will always be greater than your dreams.

"Yes, I would've," you pursed your lips, looking down at your roughed up running sneakers. Compared to her look, yours was too casual. If you were younger, you would've been on the same level as her. You didn't belong to each other now, what else was different about her these days? "For most of you who didn't know, the world hated that her and I were together. Everyone criticised each move we did. We were young...really young, it felt suffocating to hear the same things from the public but god, I loved her so much. To this day, I'm firm on my decision that I would've given up on my dreams for her if it meant I could keep her."

You were truly not over what you had, but with everything that has happened after that, you don't think you could let her in again. Not now.

Not when you were still a mess.

She placed her hand on top of yours, gently squeezing it. "If I knew that letting the world find us would ruin what we had, I would've kept you a secret," she paused, looking at you with pure adoration plastered on her face. "For as long as I could have."

Jimmy nodded his head, satisfied with your answers. "Well, that's it for tonight's show everyone. Please give a huge round of applause to our dear Y/N and Sana!"

You stood up, stepping closer towards Jimmy as you wrapped his arms around him, whispering. "Thanks heaps for having us tonight, never thought we'd cross paths again."

He was smiling as if he understood how it felt. "Anytime, Y/N, my wife and I were big fans back in the day."

You didn't respond, eyes following her instead. There was a sudden sharp ache in your chest as you watched her walk away from you, not bothering to look back.

Jimmy noticed the change in your emotions, squeezing your arm in comfort. "Hey, she'll be backstage for another half an hour. Don't let this chance slip away."

You heaved out a sigh, a defeated look on your face. Perhaps, her actions were all for the show, but god, her face said it all — she missed you as much as you missed her. "I can't, Jimmy. I'm a mess. I think I'll always be a mess. Do you think I could leave without her seeing me or knowing about it?"

There was surprise written on his face at your question. "I thought you guys did great out there, don't you wanna rekindle it?"

"No," you frowned. "I still love her...but its been over a decade and a lot has changed. She rejected me the last time I saw her. She seems happier - I'm still working on myself. I can't risk it."

"I understand," he smiled at you with sympathy. "Come, I'll get one of my producers to show you out."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

"Sana is here with her rumoured girlfriend," Lisa rasped out, closing the door behind her as she leaned against it - eyes wide and all that. "How are we gonna hide her from Y/N? She's literally sitting outside."

Jennie had horror written all over her face as soon as her eyes landed on your messy face - wonton soup smeared all over your mouth. "Actually...Y/N is here."

Lisa gasped at the sight of you. "I thought you went to order more drinks at the bar!"

You shook your head, standing up. "No, I ordered it through a QR code like I said I would. Where is she?"

"Y/N," Jennie held your hand to stop you. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"I'll be fine, Nini," you smiled reassuringly, rubbing your thumb against her skin. "I just wanna see what she looks like now."

"It's been seven years, Y/N," Lisa deadpanned, arms crossed and still blocking the door out of the private dining area. "She has moved on and so have you."

"We all know that's a lie."

With a mask of disappointment in her eyes, she took a step ahead to get out of your way, her shoulders slumped as she shook her head disappointingly. "This is going to pull you back a hundred times worst."

And it did. You wished you had listened to Lisa because as soon as Sana's eyes landed on yours, her smile faltered and turned into a worried frown. "Not now, Y/N, talk to me when you're sober. And in private."

"I am sober, Sana," you whispered frozen in place, a pang of pain rushing through every nerve end in your body. “Can we talk, please?”

She wouldn’t even look at you. “If you have anything important to say, I don’t want to hear it.”

You felt sick, stomach twisting in more ways than one and a sudden onset of frustration washed over you. “How could you be so cruel?”

She was once the constellations you admired, now the moon weeps at how she dimmed the brightness within you.

“We’re in public!”

“Nobody fucking knows us here,” your frail attempt at choking up your anger was visibly failing. “You know what? Fuck this, whatever. Have a nice life.”

“Y/N, wait,” she seemed taken aback at your outburst, quickly standing up to trail behind you.

“Fuck you, Sana.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The days that followed after your first public appearance became a blur. You were all over the news again, this time, they were all positive things about you (according to your publicists). Many old friends from the industry have been trying to reach out, some wanted to meet up for their own good - however, most were just glad to see you alive and well.

Since your hiatus, you have been away from the public eye; all of your social media accounts remained stagnant. Even the sleaziest paparazzi companies couldn't figure out where you were.

After all, you were and still are one of the biggest names on the industry.

"Here goes nothing," you said as you tapped on the 'share' button. It was a selfie of you in your bedroom - your bookshelf and art collection on the background. The caption was a simple 'this is 34'.

You closed your eyes as you inhaled a deep breath; it was your first post in nearly three years and you feel absolutely terrified. They were definitely going to judge the way you've aged, the books you read and a lot more other things that you should be prepared for and be used to - but you weren't.

Not long after, your phone rang; interrupting (thankfully) you from your dilemma. It was your mum on the other end. "Hey ma," you greet with a grin.

"Your dad, siblings and I wish you the happiest birthday today, my darling. Will you come and see us this year?" she asked with hope in her voice.

"Ma, I was just there last week," you playfully rolled your eyes. "Besides, if I come now, they will figure out where our family home is. And eventually, the public will find out where I live too."

"I know, I know," she hummed. "But you've been celebrating your birthday alone for years now. Why can't you invite your old friends? I'm sure Jongin and Momo and Lisa and Jennie and Jisoo and Jimin and Jungkook and —"

"Okay, okay," you chuckled. "I'm sure they all miss me too but I don't think I'm ready to let people in again. They're all living very busy lives. I enjoy my solitude right now and —" the sound of ringing from your front door cut you off, startled, you moved the phone away from your ear to make sure you weren't hearing things (again). "Uh, there's someone at the front. Must be one of my book deliveries — well, I hope."

"Aren't you gonna open the door?"

"No, why would I? Then they'll find out I live here." However, the doorbell rang once more. "Oh god, what if I accidentally put my location on my Instagram? Ma, I'll call you back."

"Y/N, it's —"

"Bye, I love you!"

You quickly hung up and turned your phone off before padding across your camera room to see who the person on the other side of the door was.

Your breath hitches at the sight of your ex-girlfriend patiently standing outside with a birthday cake on her hand. After a month of not seeing her, your shoulders slumped into a more relaxed state as you take another deep breath; pressing the red button.

"Sana?" you said with hesitation through the speaker. "You have red hair?"

"Hi Y/N," she waved at the camera. Damn that smile. "Happy birthday, please let me in before anyone sees. And yes, I had to dye it for a shoot."

You cleared your throat. "Uh, I'm coming," you walked towards the front door with your lips tucked behind your upper teeth. You pull the wooden door open, revealing the fiery-haired beauty on the other side. Your heart hammers against your chest and your fingers visibly shake as you step away to let her in. "It suits you."

"Thank you," she smiled shyly, looking around your place. "This is a lovely home, Y/N."

"Come," you took the cake off her hands as you walk towards the open kitchen with a view of the forest surrounding your house. "Pretty bold of you to assume caramel is still my favourite."

She frowned. "Is it not?"

You laughed. "No, no, it still is." As soon as you set the cake on the counter, you looked up to meet her gaze. "How did you find me?"

"Your parents," she quickly tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, awkwardly wrapping her arms around her loose cardigan. "I called to see how they were doing."

"And why's that?" you curiously raised an eyebrow, attempting to kill the assumption that she missed you in your head.

She took a step closer towards the counter — the only thing separating you away from her. "Because I wanted to find you," she paused, biting her lip. "After the interview, you disappeared. Just like that. No goodbye, no nothing. Why?"

"Why not?" your tone made her flinch, reminding her of the same coldness you showed her in that alleyway.

"We were doing so well...the interview, I thought you would maybe want to catch up —"

"I did, then I remembered how you broke my heart and then many other thoughts came along after that. Remember when you told me there was someone —"

"An obvious lie, Y/N, there was only you."

A sigh escaped your lips as you avoid her eyes. "For years, I made myself believe that it was true just so I could hate you. And not even a year later, Sana, not even a year, you began dating someone else. A fucking CEO out of all people — a guy who was probably busier than most of us combined; that was such a massive slap in the face considering you told me it wasn't working because of our schedules."

"It was —"

You raised a finger, stopping her. "No, I told you to leave and never come back. I told you that, do you remember?"

"I do," she tilted her head carefully, gaze holding that same familiar hurt all those years ago. "I do, and that's the sole reason I refused to knock on your door again for a decade - no matter how much I begged myself to. I couldn't bring myself to, anyway, not after I hurt you."

"So why are you here?" you asked, voice strained.

"Because I'm still deeply in love with you after all these years, because I believe you're the love of my life and I still want to grow old with you. And I want to love you again if you'll let me, Y/N, please. I love you, that's why I'm here.”

You looked up to find tears pooling in Sana's eyes, she turned away before wiping them away with her fingers. All you could hear was the drumming coming from your chest, your head all over the place once again.

You remembered it so vividly, the moment you wanted to marry her...the cherry red box that was sitting untouched in your safe after all these years. And it hurt.

"Say something, please," she sniffled, pleading you with her eyes as she placed her hand on top of yours - her cold skin against yours now lingering for a moment too long.

"Look at me, Sana," you exasperated, arms flinging wide open. "Look at the mess I am. I've been to rehab more than I can count my fingers. I ruined my own reputation and I hurt so many people along the way. There were days where I could barely breathe, days where I wanted it all to stop. And those days still come every now and then. I have pushed everyone away - even my own family. There's a barrier between me and all of the people I love, the gap will always remain because of the things I've done. And you say you want me?"

"I want you, chaos and all. I have loved you all these years...what's so different about now?"

"Do you know how long has it been since our break up?" you scoffed, pinching the bridge of your nose to stop the tears from coming. "You are in love with the idea of me, not who I am."

"Then let me unravel you once more, Y/N, this is all I'm asking for. I know I walked away when you needed me the most and I'm so fucking sorry, I live with that guilty everyday - god, I was so worried. I didn't sleep for a year when we were 27 because I didn't want to wake up to find out you were dead like everyone else would say. I should've reached out then because I knew that I couldn't live this lifetime without you. I didn't want to, not if you weren't in it. I ask myself why I didn't, but I can never find the right answer. All I know is I'm here now, and I'm never gonna let you slip away ever again."

Your walls began to crumble at her intimate confession. This time, you took both of her hands under yours, unable to stop yourself now. "I was going to marry you but you didn't stick long enough for me to do that."

"W-what?" she stammered, her voice breaking. "You were?"

It felt as if there was a knot wrapping your heart and your chest together, squeezing in a way that it almost hurt to breathe. There were so many thoughts flying through your mind, a million of what would've, could've and should've beens.

She unexpectedly collided her body against yours, making you stumble in your feet. Your hands luckily gripped the edge of the counter, balancing her and you together. Her arms snaked around your waist, engulfing you in a tight embrace as she whispered a million apologies.

"I'm so sorry," she cried, pushing you away with her hands. "Oh my god, how did I fuck this up so bad? I love you so much, why?"

"We both were fuck ups, weren't we?" you chuckled through the tears flowing down your cheeks. "Too young to know how cruel the world was."

"Will you please let me in again, Y/N? Let me fix this. I want you and I want us again. I don't care what they all think.”

"I don't deserve you, Sana, I think I'll only end up hurting you. I've been alone for so long now that if you asked me what love was like, I would only be able to mutter your name and remember what ours was like."

"Like the way I hurt you?" she croaked out, intertwining her fingers with yours - thumb rubbing gentle circles against your cold skin. "We'll work through it, together. I know what I'm walking into, I'm not as naive as I used to be. It won't be easy, but I love you. And I can't let this go - I'll never love again if it's not you."

You braced your hands on her hips, pulling her again. You welcomed her in, arms wrapped around her body - never wanting to let go. You stayed like this for a while; the comfortable silence filling all the missing puzzle pieces in your life. "I'm scared."

"I know," she sighed, rubbing your back with her palms. "I'm here now."

For years, you were lost. But not anymore. She was here now and you were home. Again.

[kairoot]

FIRSTS W/ HEESEUNG !

⟢ pairing : heeseung x reader ➖ genre : fluff, suggestive ➖ requested : no ➖ warnings : none really, kissing, nicknames, joking around, mentions of being tipsy ➖ wc: 755

FIRST DATE — on your first date, heeseung was pretty nervous cause he wanted to make a good first impression but he tried to act cool. (and the cool act worked.) it started with subtle conversation and he didn’t even mean for you to take what he was saying as a way of asking you out. but boy, was he proud of himself. he was very flirty, but a gentleman during your date and would only ask you what you wanted to do, making sure you were comfortable at all times.

“you know, i’d really like to visit that new amusement park sometime.”

“why don’t we go?” you said, nudging him gently.

“oh, well, i-“

“c’mon it’ll be fun!”

so in reality, you asked him out first but it was worth it. he won you a few prizes and one big panda plushie. (i should make a more detailed hc about this.)

HOLDING HANDS — it was on your first date actually! hee wanted to make sure you were safe and close to him since the amusement park was PACKED. he inched closer to you while you were walking and subtly slipped his hand into yours. his fingers intertwined with yours tightly, pulling you closer to his side.

FIRST KISS — it was a New Year’s party you guys attended. you both had a bit too much to drink. you were all over eachother on the sofa, his arm wrapped around you and your body leaning into his chest. it was all just smiles and giggles until you both got a bit too close and couldn’t back away. heeseung couldn’t stop looking at your lips and you caught onto his gaze, your very tipsy mind still being able to see his intentions. eventually, his pouty lips were on yours, placing a wet kiss against them. your lips moved in sync until you gently pushed him away to breathe and before anything got too heated.

“i-i’m sorry, i-“

“no, no, i just couldn’t breathe,” you giggled, gripping his arm.

“c’mon, let’s take an Uber to my place. or yours, i really don’t care.”

FIRST ‘I LOVE YOU’ — you guys were FaceTiming when heeseung accidentally ended the call with a ‘love you’. he quickly called back with his face and ears all red, apologizing. it took you by surprise but you were smiling at how flustered he got because, well, he took himself by surprise.

“i didn’t mean to-“

“it’s okay, hee. i love you too, baby.” you giggled, a smile forming on his face.

he gave you a few compliments and couldn’t stop saying ‘i love you’ but eventually said his goodnights and hung up again.

FIRST FIGHT — you and heeseung try not to buttheads but every couple has fights whether they’re healthy or not. you both have definitely had your share. your first fight occurred when you had invited heeseung to your house and he didn’t arrive at the time he said he would. which of course, you got worried. the man wasn’t answering your calls or texts and it was getting unbelievably late. when he finally did arrive, he smelled of alcohol and sweat.

“heeseung, where have you been?! i’ve called, i’ve texted, heck- i nearly emailed!”

he walked over toward you after locking the door, softly grabbing your wrists.

“i was out, baby, i-“

“out where? cause you smell like you had a butt load of soju.”

heeseung was definitely not aware of the dilemma or how worried you were.

his face softened and his smile fell. he saw the small bags under your eyes; seeing as it was late, you didn’t sleep at all, wanting to know where in the world your boyfriend could be.

“i know. after work, i went out with the guys and i completely forgot to tell you that i would be late, i’m sorry.”

you sighed, shaking your head.

“heeseung, you have a girlfriend now. you can’t just forget to tell me these things.”

FIRST ANNIVERSARY — heeseung took you to multiple places during the day of your anniversary. a bakery, art class, you name it. but at night, you both stayed in his apartment. he set you both up with a movie and a bunch of snacks that were definitely not good for either of you. you even went outside to stargaze for a little bit, along with him making cheesy pick-up lines about you and the stars. you both went back in eventually, pulling an all-nighter with tons of games and more movies.

★ ★ ★

milan’s note: can you tell i’m in my heeseung era

TAGLIST: @haechansbbg @contyynishimura @sasfransisco @kgneptun @jungwonderz — message or comment to be added

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

X♡X♡ [SEVEN DAYS] Day 1

You're struggling a bit to comprehend the fact that you really did agree to this whole week-long thing with him. Luckily for you, Jungkook knows exactly how to ease you into things. But wait- why is he naked?!

Tags/Warnings: Porn with a lot of plot basically, inexperienced!reader, Dom!Jungkook, BDSM themes and elements, non-sexual nudity, safeword discussion, Corruption kink, some backstory on JK, Shibari, wax play, Dom/Sub dynamics (beginner/introductory), minor sub-drop, slight angst, dry humping, cumming inside underwear, massages, mentions of primal play, mentions of pet play, very light orgasm control, hinted praise kink, JK in nothing but dark grey Calvin's for like... 90% of this, hinted big dick!JK, they both in love it's kinda cute,

Shibari: a form of artistic bondage using rope to create visually appealing patterns on the skin.

Wax play: the use of body-safe candles to drop wax onto someone's skin.

Corruption kink: gaining pleasure from corrupting a seemingly innocent person.

Length: 6k words

-> Masterlist

A/N: I'll include a short definition of the kinks in every chapter because I just know someone's gonna ask/complain that I don't explain things enough in my works haha. Also my smut writing is kinda rusty I've noticed, so I apologize for that as well...

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"So.." You say through your food, chopsticks seemingly aiming for any piece of meat that could be done next on the barbecue in front of you on the table. "..do we like, need some fifty-shades-of-grey-type contract?" You ask Jungkook, who rolls his eyes.

"Absolutely not." He shakes his head, drinking some water. "Don't tell me you saw that movie too." He asks, and you shrug.

"Saw it with Jimin and Yoongi back when it was in the theaters." You say. "Yoongi said there was a lady who literally masturbated in the front rows, but I don't believe that. Who would do that in public?" You cringe to yourself, and Jungkook watches you for a second.

He's gonna put a no on voyeurism for you then, judging from that reaction.

"I'm surprised Yoongi went." Jungkook chuckles.

"Me too. Wasn't really sure why he did." You tell Jungkook, snatching a piece of meat for yourself. "He just complained over it the entire time anyways."

"Yeah, well-" Jungkook says, reaching for the scissors to cut up some meat. "-he's in the same scene as I am, so I'm not surprised he thought the movie was dogshit too." He explains, and your eyes widen.

"Wait, Yoongi ties people up too?!" You hiss, and Jungkook can't help but shake his head, laughing to himself.

"That's the tamest thing he does." He laughs. "Yoongi actually.. showed me most of the things I know." Jungkook offers, putting the scissors back to the side to instead pick up his chopsticks again. You wonder what he means by that.

"Like.. what?" You ask him, unsure- but you can't deny the curiosity inside of you. You had a hunch about Yoongi for a while now- and in a way, you can see him being in the whole scene a lot more than Jungkook. Jungkook is your fluffy buff but cute best friend- Yoongi has this odd aura to him that feels almost like a warning that he's hiding more of himself than he shows.

"I'm a Dominant person, right?" He asks you, and you shrug. "I like to be in charge, command and take the lead during.. scenes."

"Yeah, that part-" You say, stuffing a steaming piece of meat into your mouth, almost burning your tongue, "-I know about that stuff. Like, dom and sub, top and bottom all that." You nod, and he acknowledges it too.

"Good. Then you probably also have read that the best Dom's have been sub's in the past." He simply tells you.

"… so Yoongi tied you up before?" You ask, and Jungkook lets his head fall for a second.

"You're so cute sometimes, you know that?" He shakes his head, before he continues. "No, he actually didn't. I learned that part all by myself." He explains gently. "But before I could take charge, I had to learn. Someone had to get me into this stuff somehow, right?" He shrugs.

"So you and Yoongi were a couple at some point?" You ask, but he shakes his head.

"Yoongi and I had something similar to.. us, one could say." He explains across from you. "Simple exploration, nothing more than that." He tells you, before his chopsticks reach out to steal a piece of food right from between yours- and when you look up, he's staring right at you. "So now that I think of it, Yoongi and I had nothing like we do." He says.

"H..how so?" You ask, slightly intimidated.

"Because I don't just want to explore and leave you be after this week." Jungkook says. "I hope you know that I'm aiming for something entirely different here."

"For what?" You wonder, and he leans back, crossing his arms, grill in between you both sizzling loudly.

"Your trust." He shrugs. "Your love." He offers.

"What if I can't love the same as you do?" You say, a little defeated. You know Jungkook likes you- it's no secret. And you know he knows that you like him too- because it's no secret either.

"Then we'll search until we find what works." He responds.

"But-" You start, but he reaches out instead, a warm hand over yours cutting you off in midst of your sentence as he speaks to you, voice just as warm as his skin.

"I won't give up without trying first." He tells you. "And neither should you."

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"Why here?" You ask, as he adjusts the couch into a makeshift bed for the time being. You'll be staying the entire week with him, and you'd agreed to that, because you've stayed over a lot of times before. Jungkook's apartment is nothing new- it's familiar, like a second home, warm and comforting.

"Because my bedroom is too intimidating-" He starts, tucking in a bedsheet in the corners of the couch. "-and I don't want to ruin your own with memories that might be unpleasant." Jungkook offers.

"Oh." you simply say, unsure. You've not yet thought about the possibility of him doing something you.. don't like. What happens then? Will you have to leave, or will the week end before it's even begun? Will it make things awkward, and weird?

"Hey." Jungkook calls out softly, holding out a hand. You look at him confused. "The blanket?" He asks, and you remember now that you're holding one for yourself to sleep under tonight, giving it to him. He puts it in a corner for now, same with the pillows, before he pats the couch for you to join him on. "Are you scared?" He asks, and you shake your head- albeit a little unsure.

"Just.. nervous." You say. "It'll be weird."

"Maybe." He admits. "A lot of things are weird first time. Nothing wrong about that." He shrugs.

You sit down on the makeshift bed next to him, when he chuckles, and brushes your hair over your shoulder. "I'll go shower real quick, alright? You just get yourself comfortable." He tells you, and you nod, watching him as he leaves to walk into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

It's clear that he's taking his time in there, because even after an hour, he's not yet returned. Or maybe longer? You're not sure, because you know you've somewhat dozed off on the bed when you feel his hand on your shoulder, simple strap top giving him access to a lot of bare skin there. He smells nice, and when you reach out, his skin is warm.

Wait- skin?

The moment you open your eyes you're greeted with his bare legs- he's only really dressed in some… dark grey, very form-fitting Calvin Klein's that pretty much hide almost nothing, really. It makes you sit up suddenly, body having to take a moment for a second after the rather sudden movement, a chuckle heard from Jungkook who seems entirely unbothered by his almost-nudity. "Sorry I took a bit longer. I had to get some stuff." He explains, sitting up properly himself.

"Why- why are you naked?" You ask, unsure where to look. In his opinion, you're so.. adorably shy just from the mere sight of his bare skin that it makes his inner desire stir a little. The fact that he's gonna be the one to really help you discover some of your hidden fantasies gives him chills- the good kind, of course.

He can't wait for what you might be hiding.

"I'm technically not." He raises his brows playfully, before crossing his arms- noticing the way your eyes focus on them for a good moment. "And considering why you're here, you'll soon have to get undressed too." He shrugs.

"Oh.." You hum yet again today, looking down on your body. You didn't really think about that. Compared to his toned body, you're.. an embarrassment.

"A body is just a body." He tells you. "I know you don't like yours, but I promise you it doesn't look the same to me as it does to you." He reassures you.

"Do I have to.. like.." You mumble, and he understands.

"You don't have to do anything." He promises. "We can just forget about this whole thing-"

"No!" You deny, shaking your head immediately. You do want this. You do want him to.. love you the way he does love others. Or maybe you want to somehow make him love you in a more.. special way. You're not sure- you don't really know what exactly you want right now, but you do know that you trust him.

You trust him.

"I trust you." You say out loud, grabbing the hem of your shirt- when he reaches out.

"..can I?" He wonders, and you nod, raising your arms without thinking so he can easily pull the item of clothing over your head. It's cute, the way you already feed into his own interests and kinks, without even knowing- and is that a piercing decorating your belly button? "Good girl." He purrs, lifting your shirt over your head, before slip out of your leggings, sitting back down. His hands move around your back slowly, fingers easily finding the clasp of your bra to undo it, letting the piece of underwear fall down easily from your shoulders and into your lap. "Hey-" Jungkook says, and you look up at him. "-you're fine." He smiles, and you nod.

You're fine.

"You can keep on the rest." He says, referring to your panties. At least you chose some cute ones, you think to yourself a bit relieved, as you nod. "I know you said you can't imagine it-" He starts, grabbing some pale pink and rather… delicate looking rope from the side. "But I'd like to try it, still." He asks, and you nod. "I won't restrain you this time. I'll only show you what it feels like, so you can decide for yourself if you enjoy the sensation or not." He says, and again, you only quietly nod. "But before that.. we have to address this first." He chuckles, looking at you. "I need.. verbal responses from you. Not just somewhat of an answer."

"Like.. do I need to call you sir, or something?" You ask, and he smirks.

"If you want to, you can." He smiles. "But you don't have to. A simple yes or no works just fine for me. And-" He adds on, undoing the neatly folded nylon rope in his hands as he speaks. "-We need a safeword."

"A safeword?" You repeat, and he nods.

"Something other than stop or no that you say to end a scene and get you out of whatever position you might be in." He explains. "Preferably something odd, that you wouldn't normally say during sex, so it won't be used by accident."

"So like.. Tiger?" You ask, not really thinking about it, and he nods.

"Tiger it is." He agrees, tapping your folded knees. "Turn around for me, yeah?"

"Yes." You say, moving to sit in front of him, making him chuckle.

"Cute." He comments under his breath, before he positions the rope right under your chest. "Tell me.. what do you usually do?" He wonders, and you don't answer for a moment.

"Like.. when I do it myself?" You ask, and he hums an agreeing reply.

"Yes. I'd like to know." He tells you. "So I'll have somewhat of an.. idea what is safe and comfortable for you." He explains his reasons, while he moves and adjusts the pale pink rope around your torso. You've almost instinctively moves your hands to hold onto your neck so your arms are out of the way, and he can't help but grin about that.

So much to 'I can't see myself enjoying that'.

"Uhm.. I don't know-" You begin, unsure how to really talk about that. "I have like.. toys, n' stuff, and I usually do it in the bathroom cause I get the bed dirty otherwise.." You explain.

"Toys?" He asks, pulling the rope snug in some places- and while it's tight, it doesn't bother you at all, surprisingly. You understand when he said that some people feel some sense of security from it- it feels actually quite nice, even the knots you can feel dig a bit harsher into your skin.

"Yeah like.." You take a deep breath, somewhat to test if that's still a possibility- and you can, while his fingers seem to adjust some knots in the back. "..a normal… dildo." You cringe at saying it out loud, moving on quickly. "And a vibrating.. thing. I don't use anything else." You admit, and he chuckles, as he taps your butt.

"Sit up for a second." He commands, and you do so, letting him guide the two ends of the rope in between your legs before he helps you sit down again. "So other than that, I guess you just use your hand, am I right?" He assumes, and you nod.

"Yes." You add on quickly, squirming a bit at the sensation of the rope between your legs. You have to control yourself. It's clear that he said he doesn't want sex- yet.

"You're free to get.. turned on, by the way." He tells you, teasingly pulling on the ends that run through your legs as if to underline his statement. "After all, this is about you."

"But-" You complain weakly, trying not to move to much. "-What about you?" You ask, and he shrugs, something you cannot see.

"I'm getting my satisfaction, don't worry." He explains. You're not sure how that would work- but you don't question it either. Say.." He starts, tapping your elbows. "How do you feel, right now?"

"Good." You nod to yourself. "It's.. surprisingly comfortable. It feels nice." You say.

"It looks nice, too." he offers, hands moving over your skin, causing goosebumps to erupt on your skin. "Very pretty." He praises, and you decide you don't care if he's just speaking about his work- you take this praise for yourself, using it to fuel your own emotional state in this moment. He runs his hands over your arms that are now comfortably down, hands holding yours for a second. "Let yourself go." He chuckles. "You're still tense."

"I can't help it.." You complain weakly, unsure what to do. It does feel nice, you want to move- but in a way, it's not quite right yet.

"Then maybe I can help.." He offers, hands testing the waters it seems like as they run over your thighs, just touching, nothing else. "Would you want that?" He asks, and you nod, eyes closed. "Words, darling." He demands, face close to yours while his fingers suddenly dig into your skin, gentle punishment for not following what he'd told you to do at the beginning.

"Yes.!" You almost gasp out, when one of his hands moves to grab onto the back of the artistically tied harness, pulling you, arching your back for you as he forces you to rest your upper body against his arm. You can practically feel the way your underwear soaks up your arousal, rope suddenly moving a lot more easily with the help of it between your legs.

"Show me how your hips can move." He hums into your ear, and what should feel weird comes naturally. Like in a trance you follow his words, let yourself fall because he's basically seeing all of you right now anyways- and he's seen much more before, so how bad can it really be? You trust him.

You trust him.

You can hear his breathing right next to your ear, and your hand starts to wander- before it stops. "Can-" You begin, swallowing down before you can continue. "can I touch you?" You ask, unsure if the same rules that apply to you apply to him as well. It's only fair if they do, right? It's only fair to ask him for permission, right?

"Yes." He answers, and with that, your hand blindly searches- finds his knee, moves up his thigh, warm skin underneath your rather cold fingertips earning a change in the pace at which he's breathing in. You hold onto his leg for a moment, feel the muscles move underneath the skin for a good while, as you become more and more desperate for a release of any sorts. You want to touch him too, but you don't know how- so you just leave your hand where it is, not moving any further.

His head, meanwhile, leans down into the crook of your neck, placing soft kisses there, while the hand that's not holding onto your harness moves over your chest, grabs onto the soft flesh with almost rough motions. You can only imagine the sight of his inked hand holding strongly onto your skin, thumb running over your nipple as your breathing hitches, legs moving in any way you can imagine to adjust your position.

But it's not enough.

Only when his hand sneaks between your underwear, the rope and your skin do you finally make any progress, breathing heavier as his fingers seem to play around with you just the way you like it. And it doesn't take long for you to come undone, back arching more, eyes clenching shut as he helps you ride it out for as long as you can.

You notice after a moment or two how he has already begun to untie you- and in a way, you're confused.

"What're you doing?" You slur a bit exhausted, surprised yourself how much energy this seemed to have taken out of you.

"Untying you." He chuckles, continuing to undo all the knots while he holds you close to him.

"Yeah but.." You mumble, moving a bit so he can reach your back better. "What about you?" You ask, and he shakes his head.

"This isn't about me." He declines. "And I've had my fun, don't worry about me." He reassures, gently pulling out the rope from between your legs, making you cringe as you feel how wet you are down there. "There we go." He softly hums, running his palms over the red skin where the rope has left it's mark here and there. It doesn't hurt- though you do have to admit that your back and neck are kind of sore now. "How do you feel?" He asks, and you shrug- hissing when it stings.

"I think I pulled something, dunno.." You say, sitting up as he rolls up the rope again, setting it aside, before he helps you sit properly for a moment. "I'll go wash up.. sorry for the uhm.. sheets.." You mumble as you see the damp spot where you've sat on.

"No problem." He shakes his head, getting up as well to help you up. It's only when you enter the bathroom and Jungkook is still behind you that you suddenly question what's going to happen next. "What?" He chuckles, amused.

"Uh.. I need to.." You struggle, unsure how to tell him what you want to say. "I wanna shower?" You question almost, and he laughs.

"I know." He confirms. "And I wanna make sure you're fine." He tells you, and you look at him confused. "You might feel fine right now- but once that adrenaline goes down-" He tells you, a finger gently tapping your collarbone. "-you might not be."

But you cross your arms, stubborn as you are. "I'm fine." You tell him, and he smirks suspiciously, looking at you with his arms now crossed as well. "You said a no means no and I'm saying no right now." You huff, and he reacts at that-

though not in the way you thought he would.

Because he simply nods, uncrosses his arms, and sets some towels out for you to use. "Don't worry about running around naked, I'm not bothered." He simply snickers, before he leaves you alone, a moment of silence soon interrupted by him moving around in the living room, presumably changing the sheet over the couch. You slowly take off your pretty soiled panties, putting them in the hamper to wash before you get into the shower to clean up.

And much to your own dismay, Jungkook seems to be right, because suddenly, as the water runs over your skin and you're almost done cleaning up, you're not fine anymore.

Dark, rather upsetting thoughts suddenly grow inside your head, making you feel not shame- but something almost like regret. You should have insisted to do something for him, right? Maybe he wanted to shower with you because he felt like you were abandoning him.. just because he is a guy, doesn't mean that he's without any feelings. Did you upset him? He probably won't tell you even if he did.

A knock on the bathroom door is heard, and you're busy trying to pull yourself together, when Jungkook's still bare arm reaches out to turn off the shower, before he wraps a towel around you. Quietly he dries your hair with a towel before he leads you to your makeshift bed, now with new sheets, where you sit in silence until he returns with brush and hairdryer. Everything goes by in a blur, until you feel Jungkook's hands on your shoulders, his legs next to yours as he holds you close to himself.

You're waiting for the 'I told you so'.

But he doesn't say it.

Instead, he simply silently sleeps on the couch with you, letting you cling onto him throughout the small nap you take in the middle of the day as much as you want.

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A few hours later, when you wake up, things are.. weird. Just like you feared.

Jungkook is still sleeping heavily, right behind you with you laying on one of his outstretched arms, biceps serving as a surprisingly comfortable headrest. He smells nice, his body is warm, and he looks relaxed as he still slumbers away.

And yet, you feel odd.

He just quietly took care of you after.. what you did a few hours ago, but you don't understand why you actually felt that way. You know that it was irrational of you- nothing had happened, everything was fine, you made a decision that you felt most comfortable in. So why were you so distraught over it later?

Well, he told you that you might end up like that. You just didn't listen.

He slowly stirs behind you, waking up as he watches you already sitting on the couch, wide awake. He's careful but not overly cautious as he slowly gets up as well, simply observing for a minute or two before he decides to speak up.

"How are you feeling?" He asks, and you shrug. You're not sure. You don't know it yourself.

"I don't know." You answer because of that, because you can't give him anything than that.

"Hm, I can imagine." He hums simply, running a hand through his chaotic bedhair. "I knew you'd drop, but I also knew.. you had to experience it yourself." He shrugs, watching you with still sleepy eyes.

"Drop?" You wonder, and he nods leaning back on his hands.

"Think of it as.." he thinks for a good example, "when people go to concerts. And they end up crying afterwards. It's the same principle, at its core." He says, and only now, as you turn to face him, do you realize you're only wearing panties- just like he's only wearing his boxers, making you snatch up the blanket to cover yourself. You earn nothing but a chuckle from him. "What we did together gave you a rush. And without any aftercare, people crash down from it." He explains softly.

"So that's why.. you wanted to shower with me?" You ask. "Aftercare?" You wonder, and he nods.

"Its important. For everyone involved, not just the.. one receiving it." He offers.

"Were you.. upset?" You ask, and he shrugs his shoulders.

"A little." He honestly replies, and you're thankful for that. It only adds to your reasons to trust him.

"I'm sorry." You say, pulling the blanket a bit closer. "I didn't know."

"Now you do." He simply chuckles, a hand on your back as he gets up, and walks into the bathroom, getting some things you assume before he emerges again. He's still almost naked as he walks back to you, smiling in a friendly manner as he sets down a towel, and tells you to lay down on your stomach on it. You do as told- determined not to push him away this time.

He notices that change in your behavior almost immediately- and he can't help but feel excited about it.

You're swaying your legs a little as you watch him light a candle close by, setting it on a table for now before he leans back and watches you it seems like. You realize it's one of those he'd received in that package earlier today- and you're curious. "What're you doing with that?" You ask, chin on your arms.

"I'll.. let some of the wax drop onto your skin." He says, chuckles when you tense up. "Dont worry. They're body safe, very low melting point. I'm only using things I believe you can handle." He offers, when you feel something drop onto your back- right between your shoulder blades.

True. It's hot- but not unpleasantly so. Maybe like the warmth of a cup of tea maybe.

"After all…" he hums, one more drop under the last falling down. "…You're not only getting to know me.." he continues, voice almost.. sensual as he speaks, another two drops falling in quick sucession of one another onto your skin, straight on your spine. "…but I'm getting to know you, too." He tells you with amusement, free hand softly running over your back. "Your body is talking to me a lot more openly than you do, darling.." he purrs teasingly, and only now do you notice how dark it is in his apartment. How long did you two sleep? It must be almost nighttime by now- led lights and flame from the candle illuminating the room enough to see comfortably, while he runs his fingers over your skin, another set of drops falling down the length of your spine.

It's almost agonizing how slow this all is. Frustrating, even. But you try and stay composed, maybe that'll earn you praise?

It's only when he sets the candle aside, and starts to dig the heels of his palms into your muscles that you sigh out in pleasure, feeling how your sore neck and back relax. Of course he'd know everything about massages. Sometimes, you're convinced he knows everything.

It feels childish to think like that, but sometimes, you've caught yourself looking at Jungkook as if he's the answer to all your problems. As if he can just pick you up and whisk you off your feet, hold you close and fight all monsters like a knight in shining armor ripped straight out of cheesy romance novels. He makes you feel like that, at least. And maybe it's time to let him prove if he can be prince charming.

"There we go." He praises suddenly, hands still moving as he sits behind you, legs pulled over his thighs while he continues to push out the knots in your neck and shoulders. "Let yourself go." He mumbles to you, as if he's hypnotizing you. If he does, it's working, weirdly enough. "I'll take over from here, hm?" He asks, no, states, and you simply sigh, closing your eyes.

"Yes." Is your answer, and you can't see the way his lips twitch.

His arms push your legs closer to him, manhandles you gently to have your core right over what you assume must be his own length, barely contained in his underwear. You wonder what he looks like. You've been told you can't take much- how will he make it work? He feels strong, big- maybe too much to handle. But you want to learn, maybe there's a way. You want to take him, even if it hurts. You've never felt like that before- it had never been something.. attractive to you. But you want him to make you take it. You trust that he will, now that you think about it.

You don't even question if he will. You know he will- the anticipation lays in how.

Are you already realizing it? What you could have with him? Probably- maybe. Or maybe it's just the way his bulge feels pressed against your core that's making you dizzy in the head. Yeah. That could be it, too. The way it's hot and hard, giving you nothing but a teaser of what he's got hidden away from you. How cruel he is. You want to see him.

"So needy.." he hums, chuckles, as his hands move with the help of the oil from the candle, fingers sliding easily down your back, to find their way around your waist to hold you. "Poor thing.." he mumbles towards you, grabs a bit more harshly at your flesh as if to test, and you want to whine-

But you swallow it down, making Jungkook tilt his head a bit with a smirk.

Not quite there yet, he thinks to himself. But I've got six more days to go to make you mine.

"Tell me what you're thinking." He asks- demands, because there's no question about this sentence you notice. It makes your spine tingle, a sudden urge to please and voice out your thoughts boiling up in your throat, as you let out a breath first and foremost, and he can't help but be affected by it, length in his underwear twitching impatiently at the sight of you so lost in pleasure. Oh the things he'd love to do to you make him greedy almost, mind coming up with scenario after scenario he'd love to see you in.

How long could he edge you until you'd cry and beg for him to let you have your release? Or how often could he make you cum until your body would give up?

How far would you go to please him?

Would you let him hunt you down like nothing but prey, just to feast on you, sex all bite and scratch and nothing but primal urges needing to be satiated? Or maybe you'd rather play his pretty little pet, loyal at his feet, patiently awaiting his command?

There's so many ways he can think of to corrupt you.

And he wants to try them all.

"You-" you answer his earlier question, hiding your face in your arms as you move your hips, grinding over his crotch on the hunt for your release. He'll be easy on you today, won't tell you no, will let you have it if you so desire. "I'm.. thinking-" you stutter a bit muffled into your arms, "-of you..!" you press out, and he can't help his smile from forming as he leans back his body, pulls you a little more roughly over his groin, unable to hide his growl as you become more and more shameless, moving erratically to gain any form of friction from him.

"Good." he sighs out as an answer to you, hands grabbing at your bottom, the urge to hit the soft flesh at least once agonizing- but he controls himself, holds back, just as to not overwhelm you too much at once. Instead, he presses you down, helps the movements of your lower body, earns a whimper as payment for it, and he can't help but be affected by it as well. "The only thing you're allowed to think of is me, understood?" he tests out, and much to his delight, you nod.

"yes-!" it feels like you almost want to say something else- and he wonders what your choice would've been, but he doesn't pry. He's got enough time to find out about it soon, after all- and he can be surprisingly patient, especially when it comes to things he's passionate about.

And god, is he passionate about you.

Suddenly, he wants to know. Wants to test you, despite his earlier choice of wanting to take is soft and slow- as his hands reach out, arms hooking underneath your thighs, suddenly lifting you up, leaving you with nothing before he turns you around onto your back, hands on your hips pressing down, preventing any movement. "Please-!" you beg, and he watches in interest how you struggle against him.

"Please, what?" he asks, acting nonchalant. "What do you want?" he wonders as if he doesn't know, and you look at him like you're searching for something, or maybe you're just collecting courage. For what, he doesn't know- yet.

"Please- let me.. cum.." you try, but it's not quite right for him. You also don't seem uncomfortable with the situation- you seem more like you're holding back, like you're unsure, hesitant.

"Hm, that won't do."he shakes his head, leaning further away, though his hold on you still keeps you still. "Try again." he tells you, and you close your eyes, like you're bracing yourself.

"Please let me cum!" You repeat, though this time with a lot more confidence, and he grins at that, one of his hands taking the front of your panties into it, before he pulls it up, fabric slipping between your lower lips, already drenched in your arousal.

"Go ahead then." he tells you. "Give me a good show, yeah?" he almost sings, and you immediately move, frantically so, hips rolling in desperation as he watches, muscles in your thighs stuttering especially when he helps you assist, pushing you towards your orgasm a lot faster than you anticipated.

It leaves you gasping for air, hips stuttering as you try and catch your breath, core clenching around nothing for a good while. The moment you open your eyes you're greeted with the sight of someone more akin to a demon, a predator, Eden's sin recreated as a human person- the sweat on his skin making him look as if he's glowing, eyes sharp and pupils blown wide, one hand carefully running over your thigh while he other is on his-

oh.

Oh..

There's a clear and surprisingly big stain on his dark grey Calvin Klein's, and you turn red as you realize what that must be. It gives you an odd boost of confidence, knowing that the sigh of you had done that to him- had helped him get to this point, even if just a little. It still counts, you still take it- as he smiles, and leans down to gently kiss your cheek.

"Good girl." he praises quietly, and this time you don't mask your whimper of pleasure, this one of different nature as you bathe in the praise clearly directed at you, you, and only you.

You feel drunk.

But this time, you happily let him move you around, pick you up and carry you into the bathroom, where he helps you step out of your underwear, your state leaving no room to feel shy about your nudity in front of him it seems like. He's used to it- it's nothing new to witness, but considering it's you in this state, he's even more gentle than he would usually be in a situation like this. how can he be with anyone else after you?

He doesn't know. And for now, he won't think of that.

All he knows is that underneath the shower, and later on on the couch where you'll sleep for the entirety of the week, he's got you.

And he'll do his best to keep you at his side forever.

[sweetmariihs2]

We need to talk about Judge Claude Frollo in the Disney Parks (DURING THE 90's) (he didn't wore a mascot head before then)—————— ⊹₊ ⋆. ♱ ₊˚ .⊹

The fandom needs to know about this. Why is no one talking about it???

Recently I got hyperfocused on HOND and, after watching the movie multiple times, musicals, and tons of video analysis, I finally found the Disney Park content - and oh boy I got so lucky for finding it

I would like to say that, at first, my wish was that the content of this post was posted on tiktok in form of videos and small edits, and while I have a tiktok account, I only post my art and my family follows me there help (imagine what they would think if they saw me posting edits (simping for) of a guy in the disney parks dressed as the most horrific character from disney in the 90s). I also told a friend about this, who has a tiktok accont, wishing they would post something about it, but it didn't happened- So I decided to make a Tumblr post.

I'm not a Disney parks specialist, I don't know a lot about this topic in general, but if any of you are, please correct me if I'm wrong or give me info I didn't included because this would help a lot.

Going to the main topic, you guys probably know how Frollo looks like in the parks today. He barely appears, sure, but he wears a mascot head, and since his mouth is always shut, he's not able to talk, having to speak to people only through signs and body expressions. But during the 90s HE DIDN'T WORE A MASK. He was played by a face actor.

BACK THEN IN THE 90s, the movie of The Hunchback of Notre Dame was released (1996), and the parks started to include the characters in their attractions. As far as I know, we had three main attractions related to HOND back then:

The Hunchback of Notre Dame Topsy Turvy Cavalcade (it's a parade that happened at Disneyland and also Disneyland Paris in the 5th anniversary celebration of the park - overall based on the Festival of Fools scene);

The Hunchback of Notre Dame: Festival of Fools (Which I have NO IDEA of why it's described as similar to the musical adventure in that wiki, since the script, stage and everything is completely different from the musical adventure - The stage is WAY BIGGER and it's mainly focused on the Festival Of Fools, but the story cuts to the end a lot faster than in the movie)

The Hunchback of Notre Dame: A Musical Adventure (a musical theatre, stage show, that happened at Disney's Hollywood Studios, that tells us the whole story of the movie);

The parade has two versions, as I said. Since our main focus is Frollo in this post, in one of the versios Frollo is riding his horse, and in the other one he's standing over one of the floats. Most of the videos I found about it show us Frollo as a face character (no mask on), but somehow there are some videos dated as 1997 about the same parade with him wearing his mascot head, which is just very confusing to me.

I can't exactly explain why he stopped being a face character, I believe that it's related to what Disney did to Fairy Godmother (she's an elderly character, just like Frollo, the same happened to her: previously face character, eventually mask character. I heard a theory saying that Disney probably doesn't want to hire elders because of their physical limitations in having to stay standing in a costume during the whole day).

What confuses me is the fact that in some attractions (the parade at Paris) Frollo is already wearing a mask, but in others (Festival of Fools) he is not yet. You see, the parade ended in 1997, but the Festival ended in 1998, and there is a recording made of the last performance of the Festival on YouTube, and Frollo is still not wearing his mask.

That can be easily explained by them just taking the decision of making him wear the mask during the parade only and keep him as a face character during the Festival. But why? We also have to consider that these take place in different parks and different countries (France and USA).

Let's take a look at the dates:

Parade AT DISNEYLAND: started in 1996 and ended in 1997 - no mask

Parade AT PARIS: started in 1997 and ended in 1998 (in some the videos I found from there, Frollo IS wearing his mask)

but I am confused since I found a video where he wasn't wearing his mask at this same parade, at Disneyland, in front of a "It's a Small World" ride. English is not my main language so I am not sure if they're only speaking in english, because if it was in France (France also has a Disneyland and a It's a Small World) they would be talking in both languages: English and French. And I don't know if I'm crazy but I didn't heard any French there. Which means this is probably at USA. BUT WHY IS FROLLO NOT WEARING HIS MASK AT USA??? I don't know I'm just confused

Festival of Fools: started in June 21, 1996 and ended in April 18, 1998 - no mask (I would like to say that Hellfire is included in this one, it was cut in all the other attractions. Also, near the end, right before his death, Frollo seems to try to grab Esmeralda when Quasi attacks his back, which wasn't in the movie indeed.)

A Musical Adventure (theatre): started in june 21, 1996 and ended in september 28, 2002 - no mask (his actor got changed around 3 times as far as I know, based on the videos that I watched)

Also, between the USA and the France version of the parade, Frollo shows up in three different ways: riding his horse, standing on top of the Notre Dame float, or sitting at his chair at the festival (which appears to be like a mini float, and he wears his mask). They're mixed and it's confusing to me, I am not sure which is where. When I think I understood, I find new footage of these attractions where he appears on top of something else and I don't know what's happening anymore

I don't know guys, I am just really confused and I'll just keep enjoying all the videos I can find of him without his mask, because it's a rare thing to see Frollo showing his face, and now much rarer hearing him talk and express himself properly at the parks. I hate this damn mask. It's clear as the light of the day that it's the same costume from the 90s with no update, no better painting, or anything new for that matter. I don't HATE him, I'm happy that we have Frollo in the parks. It's just that it was better before... if they at least updated that mask and those pale hands...

Despite trying, I couldn't find any pictures from that face character Frollo. You know, pictures people take with the characters? None. All we have are low quality 90s videos on YouTube and that's it. Which makes me really upset, because those videos don't properly capture his costume and makeup, even though I'm really grateful to everyone who recorded them, it's very hard to see his face clearly. That gif at the start of the post is one of those rare moments someone showed us his face up close, and it's from a video recording "The Hunchback of Notre Dame Topsy Turvy Cavalcade" at Disneyland where Frollo rode his horse instead of just standing on top of the Notre Dame float. (It happens at 04:00 and I giggle every single time help)

I would like to make a mini list of all the videos I could find about this on the internet. It will be updated constantly, of course, and separated by topics (the attractions) and their names will be the names of the videos themselves. I would also like to say that the qualities of those videos aren't always the best, but we're lucky for at least having them in our hands in the first place. Sometimes I will point out when he appears, sometimes I won't because I'm lazy.

Edit: Turns out that there are millions of videos about them on YouTube and a lot of them are low quality, so I won't spend time adding *all of them*, just some of the best. If you find a interesting one that's not in the post, send me the link plz!

If any kind soul wants to make funny edits with compilations of best moments please send me the link, I appreciate it

The video list : —————— ⊹₊ ⋆. ♱ ₊˚ .⊹

The Hunchback of Notre Dame Topsy Turvy Cavalcade:

"The Hunchback of Notre Dame Topsy Turvy Cavalcade - Disneyland 1996" (close up view of his face (the death look) at the minute 04:00) (*happy giggles* that's the gif used in the title of the post!) (I would probably pass out if I were this person)

"Disneyland California - The Hunchback of Notre Dame Parade 1998" (he can be seen since 02:10 (during Esmeralda's dance, which he claims "look at this disgusting display!" (also that dance is kinda "uuuhhhhh disneyyy this parade is for children"), and apparently she goes down on the pole looking at him) but he really appears properly at the minute 04:50 and doesn't look at the camera - at the minute 05:30 he's seen pretty close to Esmeralda's float, apparently watching her dance - right after this moment the video is cut and he appears again, this time walking to the opposite way. At the end of the video he's seen again from afar!)

"The Hunchback Parade at Disneyland (at Small World" (he's the first thing we see when we open the video)

"The Hunchback Parade at Disneyland (From The Plaza)" (he's seen at 1:30 standing on top of the Notre Dame float)

"Disneyland-Parade-Hunchback of Notre Dame. Oct 31. 1997." (Frollo can be seen by the first time at the minute 04:40, but he can be seen really closely at the minute 07:05. That happened during a halloween night at Disneyland!)

There is a video that I JUST CAN'T FIND about this same parade, and I remember Frollo riding his horse at the end of the video. It was day and I remember being possible to see him dissapearing behind a curve, still riding his horse. I CAN'T FIND IT, not even in my history. I'll just update this post when I finally find it (IF I find it)

Second edit: Guys I think I'm stupid. I was rewatching the end of THE FIRST VIDEO OF THE LIST and it was that one. I feel dumb now

The Hunchback of Notre Dame: Festival Of Fools:

"Disney's The Hunchback of Notre Dame - Festival of Fools, Disneyland in 1996 part 2" (a journalistic report about the attraction - the person who updated this didn't published the part 1! Ugh! We only have one half! It's a great video by the way, the quality and the shots are awesome) (Frollo only appears once at 1:30, but the whole video is great)

"The Hunchback of Notre Dame: Festival Of Fools - Disneyland 1996" (That's a part of the show. It has good camera angles but not a very good quality. Frollo appears at 02:10 and at 03:30-04:00 and at 08:05)

"【Old Disney】 The Hunchback of Notre Dame Musical Show!-1996 / ノートルダム の鐘ミュージカルショー" (Full show once again - There is a change in here! At the second 20:26, Clopin went up the stairs and Frollo casually gets the flag from his hand. The flag is a crucial part for the ending, it works like Frollo's sword for a long period of time, and he fights Esmeralda and Quasimodo using it. In other recordings you can see that Frollo gets his flag forcefully from one of the dancer's hands in the middle of the main stage, not from Clopin already up the stairs. At 19:55 we can see Frollo holding the flag, running with it, but when we see him again, the flag is in Clopin's hand instead of Frollo's, and Frollo takes it from him later. What a mess!)

"1996 Disneyland Hunchback of Notre Dame: Festival of Fools" (terrible quality but it adds ✨️flavor✨️)

"Hunchback of Notre Dame Play Disneyland 1996" (The quality is also bad, but we can see the lights and overall hear the music and the spectacle itself here. I wish I was there!)

"Hunchback of Notre Dame: Festival of Fools - Disneyland 1996" (Footage of the whole show, the quality is... average)

"Hunchback of Notre Dame Festival Of Fools--Disneyland History--1990's--TMS-561" (footage of the festival but overall the quality is terrible in this one)

"Hunchback of Notre Dame Festival Of Fools | Disneyland | 1996" (low quality footage of the show. Frollo can barely be seen :c )

""Festival Of Fools" at Disneyland, Presented by Get Away Today (Part 1)" (a TV channel recorded the performance profissionally, even though it's old it's also a good video)

""Festival Of Fools" at Disneyland, Presented by Get Away Today (Part 2)" (part 2 of that same video)

— The last show footage needs to be properly separated here. This makes me bittersweet:

"Festival of Fools - Last Show - Warm Up - Disneyland" (part 0)

"Festival of Fools - Last Show - Part 1 - Disneyland" (part 1)

"Festival of Fools - Last Show - Part 2 - Disneyland" (part 2)

"Festival of Fools - Last Show - Part 3 - Disneyland" (part 3) (Frollo shows up really closely in this one, this person did a wonderful job when recording - and him singing Hellfire!! Ahhhhh!!! He appears again at the end of the video when the characters are thanking the audience)

The Hunchback Of Notre Dame: A Musical Adventure:

"The Hunchback of Notre Dame : A Musical Adventure - Full Show, Disney-MGM Studios 1996 Disney World" (full show)

"Hunchback of Notre Dame Disney-MGM" (full show recorded, great image quality, the camera man gives us zoom and great shots - WE CAN SEE FROLLO'S FACE PROPERLY AT 03:10)

"The Hunchback of Notre Dame: A Musical Adventure" - Full show from 1999 at MGM Studios in WDW" (HIS ACTOR IS AMAZING HERE - We can see his face closely at 02:55, and at 03:33 THE EVIL SMILE IS SO SIMILAR, he even LOOKS LIKE FROLLO HIMSELF! At 11:15 there's the Esmeralda's tease scene which is *chef's kiss* (we can see it really closely) AND IT WAS ALSO DONE PERFECTLY! aaahahshwhwhehsg that's my favorite performance of this show idc, we can see him closely again at 23:20 aaand also at 09:55 - 10:30) [this is where that Frollo and Esmeralda gif I added came from]

"Hunchback Of Notre Dame (2002)" (full show again but this person zooms the characters sometimes, awesome video too)

"The Hunchback of Notre Dame: A Musical Adventure" - Full performance at MGM Studios in WDW - 2000" (We can see Frollo's face from up close at 14:00 - it seems to be a different actor :c )

"1996 Walt Disney World The Hunchback of Notre Dame: A Musical Adventure" (The quality is not the best but I think it's cute the way the person recorded the surroundings. Really looks like a good memory to have. So sweet)

"Walt Disney World spectacle THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME 06 02 1997" (the full show recorded - average quality)

"The Hunchback of Notre Dame: A Musical Adventure @ Disney-MGM Studios - August, 1997" (meh not really in a good quality but it's recorded so let's add it here)

""Hunchback of Notre Dame: A Musical Adventure" Photos and Video from 1996 at Disney-MGM Studios" (not a youtube video, this time it's a website filled with pics taken of the show)

Someone recorded 8 parts of the show, but I would like to add them since it's... you know, my fav Frollo actor until now:

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8

BONUS:

"Meeting Phoebus, from "The Hunchback of Notre Dame: A Musical Adventure" at MGM Studios in WDW" (this is so cute!)

"Festival Of Fools Construction at Disneyland" (the title speaks for itself)

"Disneyland Inside Out - "Festival Of Fools" (report about the attraction)

"Disneyland Paris * May 1997" (showing how the park looked like at that time- a lot of HOND stuff)

"DISNEYLAND: 50 Years of ImaginEARing CD 10-12 FESTIVAL OF FOOLS A Guy Like You" (I believe this is a remastered version of one of the songs that played during the parade. I wish I was there at that time)

"Hunchback of Notre Dame Carnival Disneyland Paris" (this is a video of the parade when Frollo was already wearing a mask, but look at how cute this is! It's a family memory)

[mokachibidibi]

Heyy, how are you doing, dear? I just stumbled across your prompt list soooo can I request number 11, 13 and 18 for Jongho? I'm not sure if you are willing to do the same prompt for OT8, but I just thought about them having their first serious relationship and I couldn't miss the opportunity. Thank you!

Hey! I'm doing pretty well, I hope you are too!^^ I'm sorry it took me so much time, but thank you for the request. I love the idea, so it's my pleasure to interpret it in my own way. I hope it turned out to your liking!

PS.: I love your writing!!

If you'd still like one for just Jongho let me know^^

There Is No Guidebook To Life

Summary: This is your first relationship, and you need reassurance. 

Pairing: poly!ot8 x fem!reader

Prompts:

"I've never been in a realationship before, so I don't know how this really works…" "Wait! Don't pull away… Not yet." "Quit smiling at me, I can't stop messing up my sentences with you looking at me like that."

Genre: Fluff, (maybe, but not really angst)

Warnings: Insecurity

It is the first time that you'll be sleeping over at the guys' apartment. You have been together for two months now, but it still feels weird to be in a relationship. You weren't sure how to behave or what to say in some situations.

The guys have known each other for years now, but the relationship formed only recently. Some of them needed more time than others to realize their true feelings.

It was Wooyoung who had brought up a poly relationship when we finally all sat down and talked about the things that were bothering us. I was happy with the idea of sharing my love for them and being able to see the others with each other too.

But the guys had no experience with these kinds of things, which made them a bit unsure. I was glad that they were open to it, and I tried my best to reassure them.

Wooyoung and Mingi are very flirty, so they had no trouble telling you how they feel and showing their affection. Yunho is a bit more shy and needs some encouragement to be able to do those things.

San and Hongjoong were the two who needed more time to realize their feelings for the others. The group didn't talk much about those kinds of things before you came along. But they were open to it.

Yeosang was the one who didn't need a lot of time, but he still wasn't sure what to do, and he was afraid of making a mistake.

"What would you guys like to do?" San asked the group when you were all in the living room.

"I want to cuddle" Wooyoung answered, and the others nodded.

"We could do a cuddle pile?" Mingi added.

"Let's watch a movie together" Yunho said, and he sat down on the couch.

"That sounds nice" I said, and walked towards the couch to sit next to him.

Mingi took place on my other side. Wooyoung quickly walked towards the TV and searched through Netflix to find a good movie.

"What kind of movie would you like to watch, baby?" Yunho asked me while putting an arm around my shoulder.

I smiled and put my head on his shoulder.

"I would like a romantic one."

He looked at the TV screen and nodded.

"There is this one; it looks nice."

"Good, let's watch that" Wooyoung said and pressed play.

When he was done, he went back to the couch. I moved closer to Yunho and made space for him on my other side. He sat down and wrapped an arm around my waist.

The rest of the group sat down as well. Seonghwa and Hongjoong sat next to Mingi. Jongho sat next to Yeosang, who sat next to Yunho. San had moved closer and was now sitting on your lap. His head rested on your shoulder.

You looked around the room; everyone seemed happy and calm. It was a great feeling.

When the movie started, we were all silent. Everyone focused on the movie.

I loved being surrounded by my boyfriends. It was the best thing ever.

During the movie, San started to play with my hair. He ran his fingers through it and occasionally stroked my cheek.

I looked at him and saw a faint smile on his lips. His eyes were filled with adoration.

I felt Yunho's hand slowly moving up and down my thigh. It was a slow motion. He was barely touching my leg.

I could hear Wooyoung's soft giggles every now and then. When I turned my head a little, I saw that Seonghwa had his hand on Wooyoung's knee.

Hongjoong was resting his head on Seonghwa's shoulder. He looked like he was half asleep.

Yeosang had his eyes closed.

Jongho's attention was completely on the TV.

You looked back at the movie.

Time passed, and it was getting late. The movie was almost over.

Wooyoung's hands were holding your arm, and his head was placed on your other shoulder. He had fallen asleep a while ago.

San's fingers were still tangled in my hair. I enjoyed the feeling of him playing with my hair.

Yunho was still stroking my thigh. His touch was a lot lighter now.

"What should we do now?" Mingi asked.

"The movie is almost over. It would be a shame to wake up, Woo. He is sleeping so soundly" Jongho replied.

"I'll carry him to bed" Yunho said, standing up.

Yunho carefully lifted Wooyoung from the couch. Wooyoung opened his eyes for a moment and wrapped his arms around Yunho's neck.

"Go to sleep, Youngie. We'll join you soon" Yunho whispered.

"Okay" Wooyoung said softly. He closed his eyes again and let himself fall asleep in Yunho's arms.

Yunho carried him to their bedroom.

When he came back, he sat down next to me.

"How are you feeling, Y/n?" San asked.

"I'm fine; why are you asking?"

"Because you look a bit sleepy" Mingi replied.

"Well, it's late; we should all go to bed soon."

"I agree, let's go" Mingi said, and he stood up.

"Let's make a deal: we will not leave each other's side during the night" San said.

"Why not?" Hongjoong asked.

"Because it is a great opportunity to have Y/n close and be able to cuddle with her."

"That sounds like a good plan" Yeosang said.

"Yeah, I agree. Let's do that" Jongho added.

"So, are we all going to the same bed, or..." Hongjoong asked.

"We should probably make some kind of plan, don't you think? We can't all just walk into a bedroom and share a bed without a plan."

While the others were trying to decide how it would be best to sleep, Seonghwa came up next to you and wrapped you up in a warm hug. His arm wrapped around your shoulder, while his other hand gently held the back of your head against the crook of his neck. Instinctively, you slung your arms around his waist and held him close.

"Is everything alright?" you asked, quite flustered by his sudden action. He just hummed and continued holding you close.

His warmth started to make you sleepy, and his hold was just so comfortable. But you didn't want to fall asleep yet, so you gently gave him a squeeze and started to pull back.

"Wait! Don't pull away... Not yet." His tone was quite urgent, and it startled you, so you quickly held him tight.

“We can hug a li--aghh.” You whined; his gaze was so soft and his smile so big, his perfect teeth peeked through his lips.

"Quit smiling at me, I can't stop messing up my sentences with you looking at me like that."

"Like what? How do I look at you?" His question surprised you.

"Like, I don’t know, like I'm the only thing you see.”

"You are."

"And that's why I can't let you pull away." He continued. 

"Seonghwa, I'm not pulling away."

"Not physically, but mentally. I know that this is all new to you, to all of us, but don't pull away, please. Talk to us. I want you to talk to me."

"I'll try, but I'm not very good with words."

"Just tell me how you feel."

"I'm not sure; it's all a bit overwhelming."

"That's normal, just take your time. But I really need you to understand that I love you. All of us do."

"I've just never been in a relationship before, so I don't know how this really works... I feel like I'm walking on eggshells, not because I'm scared of your reaction but more because I'm not sure what to do."

"There is no guidebook to life. We can only learn and grow by making mistakes. We'll all make mistakes, and I can't promise that we'll never get upset or frustrated, but please don't give up on us, not before we've really started."

"I won't give up, I promise."

"That's all I need. And if there is something that you are not comfortable with, just tell us, okay? No matter what it is, we'll listen and discuss it." You notice him looking behind you, and not long after, you feel another pair of arms wrap around you. One is holding you, and the other is rubbing Seonghwa's back.

"Did someone say discussing?" Mingi asked with a big grin on his face.

"Oh, so you were eavesdropping again" Seonghwa said.

"Only a little, but the subject is quite interesting."

"What's there to discuss?" San asked, suddenly standing right behind Mingi.

"Nothing" Seonghwa sighed.

"Oh, I have a suggestion!" Mingi yelled.

"No need to shout" Yunho said and sat down on the couch, followed by Hongjoong and Yeosang.

"Okay, here it goes" Mingi began. "Let's sleep in the same bed."

"We already discussed that, but we haven't decided where we will sleep" Hongjoong said.

"And why not?"

"Well, you can't expect us to walk into the bedroom and share the same bed without talking about it."

"Why not?"

"Because..."

"Because" Mingi interrupted.

"Stop saying that."

"Why not?"

"Will you stop it?!"

"Why not?"

"Mingi!"

"You can't stop me, I will continue this for eternity."

"Mingi, don't test my patience, or do you want to come to my room later?"

"I'll stop when you answer my question."

"Fine, I will answer your question."

"Yes?"

"Because..."

"Mingi! You're being a brat."

"Why not?"

"Oh, for fuck's sake."

"Ok, enough of that. Wooyoung is already sleeping, we should be quiet." Yeosang interrupted the never-ending banter. You couldn't help but laugh at them, some things would never change.

And you wished for them to never change.

San suddenly sprung up from the couch and dashed to the bedroom. "Everyone sleeps where they want, I want cuddles.".

With wide eyes, Mingi spared one last glance at Hongjoong and went after San.

Jonho came, took your hand, and walked over to the bedroom, only to find the three already cozy and warm under the blankets. Behind you, the rest followed, and Hongjoong was quick to throw himself onto Mingi and bite him in the shoulder.

"That's what you get for being a brat" Hongjoong laughed and settled in next to the younger.

"That hurt" Mingi pouted.

"Then next time, be a good boy" the leader chuckled and pulled him closer, pecking his lips.

"What the hell?" You muttered out loud.

"Oh, did I forget to tell you that Joongie is a bit into biting and being mean? Oops." San teased.

"Oh, shut up, Sannie." Hongjoong huffed, a blush forming on his cheeks.

"Aww, you're blushing." Wooyoung chuckled and pinched the older's cheeks.

"Since when is he up again?" You leaned toward Jongho, covering the side of your mouth as if to hide it. He just shrugged and shook his head.

"I will bite you too" Hongjoong said, but the threat wasn't very convincing due to the red color still lingering on his face.

"Do it" the black-haired man challenged.

"Okay, enough of that. We'll wake up San." Jongho said, pointing to the boy, who was fast asleep with his mouth open.

"Can't we all just go to sleep?" Seonghwa asked with a slight groan.

"Yeah, it's way too late" Yeosang said while lying down, pulling the blanket over his body.

"Finally!" Mingi sighed and did the same, the two of them cuddling closer.

"Well, let's get comfy," Yunho said, and he laid down, patting the space next to him. You didn't hesitate to lay down beside him, snuggling closer to him. He placed his arm under your head, his hand finding its way into your hair, while his other hand was wrapped around your waist. You put one of your legs over his and one of your arms around his torso.

It was really comfortable.

The others were slowly falling asleep. You could hear their breathing. It was nice and calming.

You felt Yunho's body relaxing. He was almost asleep.

Suddenly, you heard someone clear his throat.

"Y/n?" Jongho whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I'm cold; can you move closer?"

"You're even under the blanket, how are you cold?"

"I'm a cold-blooded monster. I need cuddles and body heat."

"Fine, come here."

You could hear him shuffle around, and eventually you could feel him lying down behind you. His chest pressed against your back. His legs intertwined with yours. His arm was draped over your waist.

His forehead rested against the back of your neck.

"You are so warm" he whispered.

"You are so annoying" Yunho mumbled.

"Shh, I'm not, now go to sleep" Jongho shushed him.

"Whatever, goodnight." Yunho sighed and closed his eyes.

"Goodnight, love."

"Goodnight, Sannie."

"Goodnight, Yunho."

"Goodnight, everyone" Wooyoung said quietly.

"Goodnight, Woo!" Mingi and Jongho said it at the same time.

"Goodnight, Y/n" Seonghwa said.

"Goodnight, everyone" Yeosang said.

You felt yourself drift off to sleep.

[dumbass-tumbler-cryptid]

I often see people describe Spider as a neglected child. Do you think that is totally accurate? Would Norm and the other scientists have set rules and boundaries? If Lo’ak and Spider did something stupid together would Jake punish both of them? What would a scene like this look like?

Hello! I know you sent this question to other creators like a month ago. Sorry this took me so long to get to. I’ve been busy and I really wanted to give a detailed answer to this but I could just never make the time until now.

So short answer yes I definitely think Spider is a neglected child.

Long answer:

While I do believe some of his basic physical needs were met like food/water/shelter I don’t believe all his physical needs were met. First is just basic safety and while I don’t think his foster parents the McCosker’s physical beat him they definitely didn’t seem to care about him. From what we see in the comics and in the movie Spider was allowed to leave the base by himself at a very young age, like around 7-8 from the look of him. I personally take huge issue with this. I’d love to know how far away the village is from Hells Gate because maybe if it was super close, like you could see it from base kind of close, then I don’t think it’d be as bad but either way your letting a child, who is already super tiny compared to his huge surroundings loose in a jungle that we are told point blank from Jake’s narration is dangerous! Like it’s one thing to let your kid walk to a friends house to teach them independence but what parent would let their child do that if they could be potentially eaten by a tiger or trampled by a rhino. But that’s exactly what the scientist and the McCoskers are letting Spider do! That is just so negligent to me.

Next is Spider’s hair which I know we talk to death about for a lot of different reasons. So I actually have the exact same hair texture that we see baby Spider having so I can personally attest to it tangling easily when not properly maintained. After looking at 7-8 year old Spider i feel like I can pretty confidently say those aren’t dreads they’re mats. That’s what dry, unwashed, un brushed curly hair looks like after weeks.

From my research children typically need help with taking care of their hair until around age 12 and so the fact that his hair is matted tells me no body is helping him. And that could lead to issues down the line because matted hair can grow mold which will obviously make you sick. Even when we see Spider at 16 he hasn’t learned how to maintain his dreadlocks properly. They’re uneven, there’s unlocked hair sticking out all over the place. Really to me it looks more like he did his best to do something with his hair after all the childhood neglect. So yeah not putting in the effort to properly take care of a child’s hair when they’re to young to do it themselves is a form of physical neglect in my eyes

Now onto bigger issues.

We see from the comics that Spider’s foster parents just flat out don’t care about him. Other creators have gotten into that so I won’t go on about it. What I will go on about though is that I think it’s a failure of every adult that saw how neglectful and uncaring the McCosker’s where to Spider but did nothing. They did nothing because it was easier for them to do nothing. Sometimes foster placements don’t work out and when that happens you find an alternative until you find something that best fits the child. They didn’t do that! They did what was easiest for the adults and that was to turn a blind eye. I’m guessing after the events of the high ground comics that Spider didn’t even really have a guardian to answer to. He was basically just a ward of the rebels. I really do hope we get to see him interact with characters like Norm and Max post his kidnapping because from what we see in the movie Kiri was the only one worried about him. I think it would have been nice if during the scene where Jake and Norm are talking about Kiri’s seizer Jake asked if Norm had any new information about Spider, so we the audience would see that these adults do care about this kid. We don’t get that though.

And honestly I take huge issue with Jake’s treatment of Spider. I didn’t like it when I first watched the movie and never felt like he earned the “son for a son” line because again we never even saw him care about Spider aside from him asking Neytiri not to kill him which is beyond bare minimum. Reading the comics made me straight up appalled. My jaw hit the ground during the climax of the story when they are being chased by R.D.A, shot at, the forest is burning and Jake told Spider to turn himself in because he was slowing them down! And my poor boy just promised to keep up!

And I know Jake believes that they won’t hurt Spider because he’s just a kid but 1. Why would you even think that? Seriously what evidence do you have that the R.D.A wouldn’t hurt this kid. They are your enemy! They’re literally shooting at you as you speak! What makes you think they wouldn’t shoot Spider on site! Why would you even take that chance with a child’s life! Even if they do accept his surrender then what? Are you okay with this kid being sent back to Earth? Or being forced to live on the R.d.A’s base with little to no say of what happens to him? And 2. They do hurt him! A year later when Spider gets kidnapped Ardmore was willing to turn Spider into a vegetable to get the information she wanted! The only reason that didn’t happen was because Quaritch stopped him. This is just going to be an all me rant for a second but I could never leave a child behind like Jake did with Spider. I don’t care how tough you think he is he’s 16! And he was left in the enemies hands on an absolutely insane amount of good faith that they wouldn’t stoop low enough to hurt him. They fucking tortured him. And if Jake had at least payed lip service to being worried about Spider I’d be slightly more inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt and say there was nothing he could do to get Spider out of Bridgehead, he had to protect his others kids. But he doesn’t. He says that Spider’s a tough kid and that’s that.

So to wrap this up Spider was incredibly neglected. Based off of everything I said above it seems to me that the adults provided bare minimum necessities and then just let him run wild which is no way to treat a child especially when their young. We’d be here all day if I started up on the emotional neglect of this boy. I truly hope we get to see Jake treat Spider better in the next movie and that we get to see Spider interact with Norm and Max.

Those are my thoughts. If anyone disagrees I’d be happy to have a respectful conversation about it. I’m always curious to hear other people’s opinions. 💙

[dreamerwitches]

Scene Zero for Dummies

I'm going to be a martyr and list out all the important plot beats for scene zero so that no one else has to slog through it like me. Let's goooo

Scene 1

Mabayu loves movies, is bad at socialising and lying, is most likely autistic, very lazy and works at her aunt's - Sakie - cafe. She's a year above most of the girls at school, in Mami's year.

While watching a movie, time pauses because of Homura and Mabayu gets paused too. She can resume the paused TV when she touches it.

Time pauses at school for her and she uses this time to copy a students answers during a test.

Mabayu sees Kyubey outside but Sakie doesn't see them, thinking she saw Amy. A cat that visits outside the cafe regularly.

Mabayu has a soul gem ring but doesn't remember where she got it from. She has no idea she is currently a magical girl.

At the cafe Mabayu gets a sudden vision of Amy getting hit by a car. She goes outside and sees it happened and Madoka is crying over her. Madoka and Sakie go to the vet with Amy while Mabayu looks after the cafe.

Amy suddenly gets better at the vet with the vets declaring it a miracle. This was because Madoka made her wish to save Amy.

The school goes on an annual visit to an auto plant (what a lame school trip huh). Mabayu accidentally wanders into a witch's labyrinth but Mami pulls her out with her ribbons.

Meanwhile, parts of episode 10 are happening during this. Homura is in her second loop. Eg. tells Madoka in class she's a magical girl too. Homura actually tells Mami and Madoka about her wish and being from the future here but the two have a hard time believing it.

Homura struggles fighting witches so Mami actually gives her a book on how to make explosives (guess she didnt look it up online this time eh?)

Mabayu follows Mami after being curious of her being a magical girl (she still doesn't know about them) but Mami acts weirdly saying she'll kill her (I have no idea why this is so out of character). Mabayu runs away in fear into a Bartels barrier and it kills her and later Mami (sigh)

Episode 10 plays out where Madoka becomes Kriemhild and Homura finds out about witches

Film 2

Mabayu is surprised to wake up at the beginning of the loop and thinks everything was a dream.

Kyubey finally approaches Mabayu saying they've already made a contract with Mabayu.

The Amy incident happens just the same as last time as Mabayu forgets to interfere.

Meanwhile, Homura is unsure about sharing the truth with others.

Mabayu uses her magic at school. She can turn invisible in her magi form by bending light. Her magic can also let her hear conversations from a way away as well as basically zoom in in real life.

She spies on Madoka and Mami in Mami's apartment. Homura enters, telling them not to listen to Kyubey but doesn't elaborate as she doesn't think they're ready yet.

Mabayu wants to find Homura's address at school so she can meet her but cannot find it in the staff room.

At the auto plant visit, Madoka and Homura fight the witch with Homura finally explaining her past. (but not the truth about witches) Madoka is fine with this, trusting Homura. Homura isn't ready to tell Mami yet.

Kyubey makes contact with Sayaka but she is dissuaded from contracting by Homura.

Sayaka knows about Madoka being a magical girl and is a little jealous she's so amazing. The scene with Kyosuke plays out ala episode 4 and she is swayed to contract.

Homura encounters Elly similar to Madoka in episode 4 and Sayaka saves her.

Madoka, Sayaka and Homura find Anja and Kyoko interrupts like in episode 5. Sayaka is suspicious that Homura knows Kyoko's name but is hesitant about telling Sayaka the truth.

Ala episode 10, Homura meets with everyone to tell them the truth. She tells them about witches but Mami and Sayaka don't fully trust her.

At the hospital, Sayaka wants to visit Kyosuke but Hitomi is already there. She overhears him saying he thinks Hitomi's visits are what cured his hand and Sayaka is very upset.

Sayaka's suffering arc plays out with it ending in Mami's breakdown.

Madoka and Homura fight Walpurgis with it ending in Homura killing Madoka before she can become Kriemhild. Mabayu resets along with Homura.

Film 3

Homura becomes coolTM

Homura shoots Kyubey outside Madoka's home, believing them to be dead now.

At home, Homura realises she can't tell the truth to anyone and will kill Walpurgis on her own. Mabayu arrives in her home, telling her Kyubey isn't dead.

The girls are two late and Madoka saves Amy, becoming a magical girl.

Homura is mad at Mabayu for spying on her and Mabayu gets nervous, running away.

Madoka is fighting the Minotaur witch at the auto plant but is struggling. Mabayu tries to help, using her weapon for the first time.

Homura stops time, stepping in. Mabayu is shocked Homura was going to abandon this Madoka just because she's contracted. Homura explains she doesn't want to connect to Madoka to feel the pain all over again because she knows she'll have to reset eventually in this loop.

Mabayu has a future vision. This shows that Homura can win but Mabayu will die. Knowing this is the best outcome, she goes along with it, dying.

Mami rushes over, upset at Mabayu's death. She later dies by Charlotte despite Madoka's warning. The two fight Walpurgis but fail.

Film 4

Mabayu visits Homura and both of them remember the last loop. She is at first rude but soon thanks Mabayu for sacrificing herself for the best outcome.

The two team up with Homura killing Kyubey outside Madoka's home again.

Kyubey visits Mabayu at home but she plays dumb, pretending to not understand them. She makes up a warning that if Kyubey tries to make Madoka contract something terrible will happen.

Meanwhile, Homura deals with Mami by making a truce. She'll tell her where witches will appear with her past knowledge so that she won't make any other girls contract.

Mabayu and Homura discover that the car that hits Amy was caused by a witch so they find the cause, defeating a familiar.

At the auto plant, Mabayu manages to stop Madoka and Sayaka from falling into the witch's barrier by helping them find the exit. Mabayu and Homura successfully fell the witch.

Unfortunately, Kyubey manages to meet Madoka and Sayaka, talking to them.

Kyubey tells Mami about these new candidates but since she made a deal with Homura she refuses.

Mabayu and Homura deal with Gertrud but Sayaka is injured in the crossfire. Homura uses this to warn Madoka from contracting as its dangerous.

Madoka approaches Homura and Mabayu, asking about magical girls. She is sad about Homura fighting alone and wants to help but Homura tells her adamantly not to.

Mabayu is worried that if Homura keeps telling Madoka about the danger of being a magical girl, she'll just want to help Homura more. Mabayu suggests they emphasise the fact she will no longer be human. Homura wonders if telling her the truth will help.

Madoka gets lost in Charlotte's labyrinth at the hospital. Homura decides to tell Madoka the truth about witches. Madoka then makes a wish to save Charlotte from despair, creating a strangely coloured Nagisa.

The girls then have to look after Nagisa who acts similarly to usual but more childishly. The group think that they can deal with Nagisa by fulfilling her wish.

Nagisa has nightmares of killing Mami as Charlotte and begins to think she's not a good person. She goes on a rampage, killing witches as well as Kyoko.

This film explains Mabayu's mother's backstory. She had a future vision that was never wrong but one day saw that she was going to die of illness and it broke her. She became a different person, begging no one to approach her in hospital.

Seeing no option to save Nagisa, Mabayu uses her magic to alter her memories. She cuts it like a film, removing her memories of killing Mami and Kyoko.

Nagisa gets a cheesecake baked by Sakie.

The girls fight Walpurgis and Nagisa is finally at peace so disappears. Homura resets

Film 5

Homura states they cannot let Madoka know about witches as they'll have another mess like Nagisa to deal with.

At the auto plant, Mabayu helps out Madoka and Sayaka again. Homura freezes time and kills Kyubey so that they cannot talk to Madoka and Sayaka.

Homura has sent Mami to another city so that she's out of their hair.

Mabayu is tasked with stalling Madoka and Sayaka from running into a witch at the mall but she's nervous about talking to them. Mabayu decides to ask Sayaka if she wants to work at her aunt's cafe.

Sayaka asks Mabayu why she wanted to hire her for work. Mabayu states she knows she collects DVDs but Sayaka is suspicious of how she knows so. Mabayu tries to lie but Sayaka sees right through her.

Kyubey tries to contact Sayaka to contract but she doesn't understand what they're saying.

Homura defeats Charlotte in the hospital. Kyubey appears and Mabayu uses a borrowed gun to kill them, masking it in the public space as a fire extinguisher going off.

Mabayu discovers that Madoka and Sayaka visited the hospital to see Kyosuke. Both Mabayu and Homura were unaware of him before now.

Homura asks Mabayu to see into the future but in it Sayaka has contracted. Homura realised she overlooked Sayaka while focusing on Madoka.

Homura is mad at Sayaka so prepares to fight her however Mabayu butts in. She doesn't want Sayaka to get hurt so asks Homura to let her deal with Sayaka instead. She plans on becoming her friend so she won't turn into a witch or have a bad effect on Madoka.

Kyoko doesn't interfere with Sayaka as she doesn't visit Mitakihara in this timeline.

Mabayu continues to fail at becoming closer friends with Sayaka as she's too bad at conversations. She's also put off by the fact she thinks of herself more as a senpai (an older classmate) than a friend.

Sayaka later fights Elsa Maria with Homura aiding. She is mad at Homura and an incident makes Mabayu appear where she was previously invisible. Sayaka is mad that Mabayu was working with Homura all along. The three tussle but oh what a surprise, Madoka contracts to make Sayaka no depress any more wow

Madoka and Sayaka fight Walpurgisnacht but fail, Homura resetting time.

Film 6

Mabayu apologises for messing up but Homura is fine with it since they learnt a lot. She honestly doesn't want to kill Sayaka at the end of the day.

Mabayu hires Sayaka again but this time knows her better, pointing out her love of classical music.

Sayaka discovers Mabayu is a magical girl but the two seem on good terms about it. Mabayu explains what she can remember of her wish (as it is still unknown to her) and that it was a wish for another person.

Kyosuke's tantrum from episode 4 plays out as Mabayu watches in hiding.

Sayaka is about to make her wish but Mabayu intervenes. She tries to dissuade her but fails.

Mabayu and Sayaka go witch hunting together. Mabayu chooses a song for Sayaka to fight to which apparently improves her strength.

Mabayu spies on Hitomi and Sayaka having their conversation like in episode 7. Mabayu is unsure how to cheer Sayaka up from this.

Sayaka asks Mabayu if she can see into the future about Hitomi's confession but backpedals, losing confidence. Mabayu hopes Sayaka will confess instead.

Sayaka seemingly decides to confess but Kyubey tells her she's no longer human and loses her resolve.

Sayaka faces Elsa Maria like usual.

Sayaka skips school the next day and later is found on the Soul-gem-throwing-bridge and does the deed herself. Unfortunately, this hustle makes Madoka contract whoops (she's really an idiot in scene zero huh)

Reset time whee

Film 7

Mabayu decides against letting Sayaka contract this time.

Mabayu pretends she has fortune telling abilities, trying to dissuade Sayaka from thinking about a contract and suggests maybe raising money for surgery for him instead.

Mabayu fucks up and Sayaka contracts anyway wow

Homura realises that Sayaka absolutely can't contract because clearly she's a fucking idiot

Madoka becomes a magical girl for Sayaka NEXT

Film 8

After Sayaka has the Kyosuke incident of 2011, Mabayu decides to cut her memories of it. She reveals that the target has to be thinking of the memories in order for her to cut them (great writing there…)

Walpurgisnacht comes and Madoka contracts, becoming Kriemhild.

Film 9

Mabayu practices fighting witches alone

Wow nothing really happens in this one huh. But it seems like the loops are finally getting to Mabayu mentally

Film 10

Homura and Mabayu leave town to stock up on grief seeds but Mabayu is killed by Kyoko

Kyoko kills Mami too wow thats so out of character…

Film 11

Mabayu realises that she continues fighting because of her admiration for Homura.

Kyubey suggests Mabayu replaces Madoka as the big entropy ending power source

Film 12

Mabayu suggests they get Mami to help them but Homura is against it

Homura instead recruits Kyoko, swaying her with the promise of plenty of grief seeds

Homura and Mabayu grow a little closer with Homura allowing her to call her by her first name. This makes Mabayu upset I think because she’s worried about getting too close with Homura

Kyoko tells Mami the truth about witches. Mabayu decides to cut Mami’s memories but sees herself in them, leading toooo

Film Mami Tomoe

Wow Mami is finally important thank fucking god! This is set before everything btw

Mabayu meets Mami with Kyubey and decides on a wish quickly. To remove her mother’s future sight so she no longer knows about her predicted death.

Mami and Mabayu work together by Mabayu holding back but using her future sight and Mami fighting for her, sharing the grief seed.

After an incident with a rookie magical girl, Mabayu learns she can cut memories. The girl seems to go missing and the two are worried, Mami thinking it's her fault

This bit is weird, it seems to play out like film 1 but from Mami's point of view. Mabayu suddenly seems to not know her. (Kyubey is affected too)

Homura is coolTM so its not film 1 I guess. Homura tells Mami not to talk with Mabayu.

Mami thinks Mabayu erased her memories of their time together.

Kyoko tells Mami the truth about witches.

Mabayu meets up with Mami and sees her memories which brings her old ones back. She realises Mami is guilty about leading other girls to their deaths by making them contract. Mabayu thinks she's a coward for cutting her own memories but leaving Mami with the burden.

It is revealed Homura was trying to keep Mami and Mabayu apart so that Mabayu wouldn't regain her memories of Mami and the time they spent together. (I dont really know why...)

Mabayu uses future sight for Homura, saying they'll win and fix everything, but this is a lie. She actually saw herself becoming a witch.

As Mabayu is close to falling into despair, Madoka wishes to save her.

Then we go to film 0, I dont know why this is getting so hard to follow...

It seems like this is the first timeline, the start of episode 10.

Madoka makes a contract to save Amy.

Mabayu is friends with Mami here.

Meanwhile Mabayu meets Ultimate Madoka??? It seems she is showing Mabayu these events.

Mabayu helps Madoka with the minotaur witch.

Mabayu sees Walpurgisnacht while future-visioning for the minotaur witch and tells Mami and Madoka.

Episode 10 plays out

The girls defeat Charlotte with Mami surviving.

Walpurgisnacht comes and Mabayu uses her future vision but sees they will fail and both Mabayu and Mami will become witches.

Mabayu lies, saying they'll defeat the witch.

At Walpurgisnacht, Mabayu confesses she lied before and she suddenly sees numerous films of the anime.

Mabayu says something dumb and cuts her own memories "Her future vision shows her a film with a future in which her vision of the future is already woven in. So if she erases her memories of despair, then the future will turn into hope!" like what the fuck does that mean? But Mami knew she was lying anyway cause she's a terrible liar so Mabayu you fucking solved nothing

Mami and Mabayu both die by Walpurgisnacht and Homura contracts.

Mabayu awakes in a new timeline and goes to cut Kyubey and Mami's memories of her.

And now we're FINALLY back to the main story

Mabayu cuts the film of her fate(?) I guess making it so she forgets about witches.

Madoka, Homura, Kyoko and Mabayu go to find Mami in the school where she's laid out a trap. She wants to 'free Mabayu of Homura's brainwashing' and wants to run away with her.

Mami doesn't want her memories to be cut because she doesn't want to stop being Mabayu's friend but in the end she accepts it, Mabayu cutting her memories.

They fight Walpurgis but fail, reset!

Film 13

Mami no longer comes up to Mabayu in the morning, she no longer remembers her as a friend.

Mabayu decides to cut Homura's memories of her and then from the entire film(?) I guess from everyone else.

At the cafe, Mami visits to buy cake and gets along with Mabayu.

The anime then plays out like usual.

-

And well that's it :T what a lame ending huh. Can you tell I was super fed up at the end? But... the story is here... sorry if things don't make sense in places, they don't make sense just as much in the story...

[xbruised-peachx]

Yooo first time ever requesting anything on this platform but like. Gromsko? Fender? As dads 😳? Gnawing at the bars of my enclosure for more content with my favs :3

OHHHH SWEET ANON I've thought about this a lot, in particular with Grom, might make a render someday... eventually... when i have time... dont hold me to this.

Tags: fem!reader, pregnancy, critical levels of cuteness and sweetness, author is not responsible for baby fever caused by this fic, one-shot, not betaread

Gromdad/Dad!Gromsko ⛈🇵🇱

He's always been a family man, not even just for wanting kids. Learning to care from his grandmother, he knows there's so much more that goes into having a truly good family life beyond just having a big family. He knows the value of true familial love that some struggle with because all they want is some big lineage. He's seen swaths of men who just want to pass on their genes but then not be there for the family they helped create. He never wants to be like that. He wants to be like his grandmother, like the other men in his family; true, respectful men that bring honor to them through compassion, care, and true familial love. Someone that will be passed down through generations due to the genuine heart he has.

Announcing to him that you're pregnant would genuinely brighten up his whole day. He would sit silent for moments as a smile crept up his face, in complete disbelief as his mind raced. He would only be able to choke out a soft "W-what?", unable to hide his smile as it grew and he laughed out of sheer awe. Head in his hands as his mind scrambled more for what to say, struggling even to gather a thought in his native language, let alone translate it. You rubbed your hand on his back, worried about him but he'd quickly pull you in for a tight embrace, taking a deep inhale in as he rested his head into the crook of your neck. Pulling back, you saw as he had a soft smile, his eyes gleaming a bit more as he showed a soft expression, wet with tears that threatened to come out. "I... I think I'm the happiest man in the world right now."

Having him around during pregnancy was a godsend. Sure, his medical training was for war and not for prenatal care, but he would be trying his damnedest and reading professional books on care. He wouldn't dare you to lift a finger the entire time, making meals for you like he usually would, and cleaning the house. Whatever you are craving, he'll figure out a way to mix it up even if it's... questionable in flavor to him. He also adores shopping with you, picking out a theme for an animal for the nursery, going with lions with the warm orange and oak colors making it very inviting as he set up the furniture. He especially adored the small scale clothes and shoes, and you couldn't even resist the cute allure of the matching red and white tracksuit when it was in a miniature scale. The nights though were where the true comfort lied, just on the couch, watching a movie or show while wrapped in blankets, his arms wrapped around your waist as he softly rubbed where the bump was forming. You couldn't see his face due to the position but he would be looking in absolute adoration. He knew pregnancy was hard on you, but that you were more than willing to put up with it for him? He will do anything to make it easier for you.

Above all, he is an amazing father once the baby is born. He admits, he cried when he first saw them and held them in his arms. He wasn't ever the man to cry, but the pure joy made him break. No doubt too with him being a big guy himself, his kid would come out naturally big and stay that way through infancy (I think of the one tiktok where he says "you look like a busted can of biscuits"... feel like that happened to Sobi at least once). One of his favorite things to do is while the baby is on their back, grabbing his helmet and going over them, letting the little bits of fabric dangle down as he leans down, shaking his head lightly as he watches the baby's reaction, eyes going wide then a huge smile growing as the baby starts giggling. His own smile goes wide as he hears every time the baby lets out a screaming laugh as he shakes his head. Watching it all warms you heart. It warms your heart even more as nighttime hits and you hear a low voice coming from the nursery, a tune that is out of key but warm and inviting in his own way. To his side a "Goodnight Moon" book but his singing... He expressed how he wanted to have the baby know both English and Polish. And there he was, softly singing in a rocking chair, no doubt his baritone singing making a soothing rumble as the baby fell asleep against his chest; Oj, lulaj, lulaj... Maleńki sokole... Oj, jak ty mnie urośniesz... Pójdziesz ze mną w pole...

Dad!Fender 🤘🇭🇺

He's always had the looming loss of his father over him, that legacy being his driving force as a soldier. But when he got with you? A new type of dread loomed over him; would he meet the same fate as his father? The thought terrified him, leaving you alone to raise a child, he didn't want to leave another child with the same fate as him. He wanted to be different.

When you told him about the results of the test, you were worried. You knew he wouldn't end things with you but that this still was completely unplanned. And that made him think of his own parents again. He remained silent, thinking in his head of what his own father must have thought when he was told... but as your hand slid over his and he met your eyes, seeing that worry and doubt, it melted him a bit. He thought of how his father must have thought at the time, with his mission in Budapest, the situation in Budapest at the time... thought story had its parallels, he realized it was different. He wasn't a CIA operative in a different country, he was a strong soldier in his own way, now working for a PMC that he could break his contract with for the time being. He had a strong relation with Kortac and they would absolutely understand his absence. He realized he can make it different, he will break the fate. Taking your hand and meeting your eyes, he looked determined but caring still, a smile on his face as he spoke, "We got this... We'll be strong together and get through this, darling... I'll be here for you."

With his break from Kortac he was more than willing to care for you while you were pregnant. His love of working out meant he had plenty of vitamins to help out both you and the baby, but also he was more than willing to grab new ones that were specialized for prenatal. Anytime you passed out on the couch, taking a nap just from the sheer work of your body growing your child. He'd smile and lift you with ease to the bed, often just taking a moment to lay with you while you rested. It warmed his heart being there for you. He had no mission professionally, just the goal of being there for you and supporting you. He felt less dread as time went on and he saw you happily walking around the home, smiling as you leaned on the doorway to the new nursery as he put together the complicated furniture.

When the baby was born, he couldn't ever describe the elation he felt. His own father dying before he was born, he finally felt at ease as he proved he could break the cycle, that it wasn't his destiny to have the same fate as his father, even if there was parallels. He'd carry everything for you out of the hospital, including the baby themself. And he always wanted to be there for you and the baby after, he was often the one getting up in the middle of the night when they cried, not minding at all as he savored every moment he got with them. He loved spending tummy time with you and them, encouraging the lil' thing as they grew and got stronger. Every moment was so precious to him, and he was glad to be there. Though his dad seemed before to be an omen, now he couldn't help but think of him positively, hoping wherever he was that he could see the proud man he left on this world, now a proud father.

[slavghoul]

Interview from Upset Magazine 6/2023

Words: Steven Loftin

Like an apparition manifesting within a dense fog, it was through radio static that Swedish rockers Ghost were formed. In the kindergarten he attended as a young boy, Tobias Forge found himself enamoured with the music crackling through the little toy speakers. From this point forward, he began picking apart the notes and melodies - his journey toward the lore and canon coming into focus as he sat, trying to figure out how this black magic could be summoned.

While it would be many years before he would don his garb as Papa Emeritus, the essence of what his future would sound like was being set through his exposure to a wide variety of music. If any proof were needed, just look to the impressive list of covers Ghost have put their ghastly mark upon, including 2016's 'Popestar' EP, which included the band's takes on Echo & The Bunnymen ('Nocturnal Me') and Simian Mobile Disco ('I Believe').

Ghost's latest EP is another covers bonanza. A five-piece offering of Tobias's backstory, 'Phantomime' plays out like a Greatest Hits radio playlist - a fitting throwback to Tobias' first dalliances with music. Of course, when a group more aligned to the metal/hard rock community bust out covers, including Genesis and Tina Turner, eyebrows are raised. To this reaction, Tobias scoffs. "In 1991, Genesis was one of the biggest bands on the planet! That was a huge hit. In the mid-80s, when I had an older teenage brother who rented every VHS movie that came out, of course, we saw the fucking Thunderdome, and that was a huge hit, and it's still being played on Swedish radio. It's an evergreen; it's not an eclectic choice at all," he declares. "I grew up listening to Stranglers because my brother liked them. What else do we have, Iron Maiden - I mean, are you kidding? I'm a metalhead!"

Originally conceived during the sessions for their fifth album, last year's 'Impera', there were two folders on his computer's desktop: one named 'Impera', the other simply 'Covers'. As the ideas for 'Impera' grew, Tobias would enter his usual routine of working on a cover or two. "At any point, when you lose a little wind in writing your own things, it's quite nice to say, 'Today let's go in and work on the covers'; you can choose anything you want, you can work on absolutely anything you want. And you don't have to finish it, you don't have to release it, you don't have to do anything, but just continue working."

He likens it to the freedom of being a theatre owner who, instead of trying to pen the next greatest Broadway phenomenon, opts to have a go at something already timeless and perfected.

"Maybe you're like, 'Okay, so this fall we're just going to do a reinterpretation of Hamlet instead, that's going to be fine, and that keeps everyone working, and that keeps a project moving along! And I find a similar thing with working on covers. So as I was writing "Impera', the covers folder was also growing exponentially and at a point. I had this idea that was going to be a full-length album."

With COVID restrictions meaning the original producer for 'Impera' was stuck in the US, Tobias had to source a replacement. It would be Klas Åhlund who stepped up to the plate. But, on one condition. "He was pretty upfront. He was like. Yeah, I only want to make the record; I don't want to work on covers," Tobias remembers "Fine, fine, fine, that's fine." he shrugs. "So, after the 'Impera' recording was done, I felt as if making a completely different, whole record again: I didn't have time for that. I didn't have the energy for that. But once I trimmed down the number of songs to only these five to make a very rocky record, it loosened up the screws a little bit for me in terms of like, "Okay, so now I know what the EP is going to be - it's going to be a full, full-throttle rock one."

Ditching some rumoured softer covers, including U2, Misfits, and Motörhead. 'Phantomime is instead a delectable slice of Ghost doing what Ghost do best: creating theatrically big rock. It's Tobias's mark upon some bonafide classics, including Iron Maiden's 'Phantom of the Opera' which feels as befitting to Ghost as it does seeing Papa Emeritus kick the bucket ready for his next iteration. While the focus was on creating this small dose of Tobias's musical DNA, it also served another purpose; to simply be "not very complicated." The project began with the mindset of "we can make this recording loosely - quick but stress-free - as opposed to making a record which is your hard fifth record that needs to live up to certain standards. So it was just a very inspired, very simple recording, actually."

After the complexities of 'Impera' which wound up requiring two studios simultaneously running in parallel "to be able to work efficiently" - Ghost was morphing into a taxing experience for the band leader, "It was just a bigger thing [and] way more stressful."

Deciding to strip that covers folder down to the five tracks, by all accounts, 'Phantomime was a measured and reserved effort. "It ended up being me, an engineer, and an occasional musician coming in and doing something. It was so much looser, so much more mentally Feng Shui," he smiles, relief glowing in his voice. "And I think that that reflected a little bit on the two different records. They're meant to be related - they are definitely related - they were made roughly in the same time, but they're completely different things."

'Phantomime' plays out like a ghoulish social commentary. Starting with a searing rendition of Televison's 'See No Evil, the journey traverses the scourge of Televangelism (Genesis' Jesus He Knows Me') with a delightfully-fitting NSFW video, the instant gratification humans require to feel (The Stranglers' Hanging Around"); the pull back into cruel reality (Phantom Of The Opera"), and the resulting undying hope from a degraded society (Tina Turner's 'We Don't Need Another Hero"). Each offering is bolstered with Ghost's dramatic, theatric rock licks and Tobias's powerhouse vocals.

With 'Phantomime' in the bag and the European leg of the 'Impera' tour imminent (Tobias is currently holed up in preparation), the idea of reflecting on how he came to go from a young boy listening to the static sounds of pop hits on the radio to orchestrating not only a feverishly adored band and its lore but finding the capacity to embrace his inner music nerd, couldn't be more timely. Tobias's relationship with music has always been one of intrigue. He's a pop songwriter with the ambition and ideas of a stadium rock band, which, in essence, explains perfectly why Ghost can sit in a unique, exponentially growing and expanding space.

"My earliest inclination of wanting to transform into something else was definitely Twisted Sister," he recalls. "You know, "I Want To Rock' and 'We're Not Going To Take It' - that was a huge record in 1984, and in 1984, I was three years old," he says. "My brother was 16, so everything that was going on pop-culturally amongst teenagers was happening in my home."

It was thanks to his brother that much of Tobias's relationship with music was formed. He's introduced him to various giants of the time, like tectonic plates being pushed around, impacting and shaping his musical landscape. Translating for young Tobias the attitude of punk at the time, as well as everything else that was 'in', he remembers, "When I was a kid, and he was supposed to babysit me, as a pacifier he would put me in front of [Sex Pistols mockumentary film] 'The Great Rock 'n' Roll Swindle"," he laughs. "And then when that was over, he would just switch to [X-rated cartoon] Fritz the Cat. And I loved that stuff, of course. That was as much [about] the expression and the attitude. Of course, I loved the songs, but it was also filtered or combined with big songs for me." Those big songs ("Men At Work 'Down Under'," he initially cites, "those sort of songs still have a unique place in my in my writing") would eventually entwine with his darker side that he'd explore as he grew older. "Whilst my whole adolescence was completely in the name of extreme metal, I always had a very soft spot for Top 40 rock and pop radio always," Tobias explains. "And I've listened to that all my life. So it's almost equal portions of Venom as it is anything. that was on the radio."

Also, witnessing shock and glam-rock bands explode intrigued Tobias. He became swept away in the idea that not only could you push a boundary to its absolute limits with convictions and over-the-top grandiosity, but you could do so with songs that quantifiably bop. But, as time has gone onto prove, it wasn't pop music that enamoured Tobias enough that he wanted to become a pop star. It's the mythology and mystery that has become his calling card.

Tobias remained an enigma under the disguise of an evolving form of the iconic Papa Emeritus (now in his fourth incarnation) until 2017, after a lawsuit from a previous iteration of his backing band's rotating cast, the Nameless Ghouls. Visual and video components to releases are often hoovered up by the fandom, stripped apart for meaning and potential. Instagram posts are referred to as a '[Message From The Clergy]" (a phrase later claimed for 2022's Best Of playlist), and lest it is forgotten, the Ghost 'Grucifix' - the prominent crucifix deconstructed into Tobias's gothic 'G' logo - which ties together the vision, religious imagery and satire that would become a core part of the Ghost experience.

His musical ambition and education colliding in the middle of his Venn diagram between dark metal and pop magic is thanks to the likes of the aforementioned Twisted Sister and W.A.S.P., as well as his teen years in the black metal community. "Their first record was also a huge impact in Swedish media," Tobias remembers. "There was this big sort of Satanic panic thing going on at the time in the fall of 1984. Where you had essentially all those things happening. You had Mötley Crüe 'Shout At The Devil', which came out a year earlier, and they were there because they toured with Iron Maiden in 1984, so there was a lot of focus on these shock-rock bands. I saw that as a kid, and I was immediately blown away - it was the coolest thing I've ever seen. And I think that that was the trigger that made me identify as that is how I want to express myself."

Decoding the songs he'd hear also became an integral part of that expression. "That was the only thing I did for years before I started writing my own songs." Recalling his time in kindergarten, they had a piano and guitar, which Tobias became infatuated with. Instead of playing with the other children, he would find himself enraptured, listening to the radio or flipping over whichever cassette happened to be loaded at the time. He would then imitate the sounds he was soaking up. "A lot of those early beginnings of how to learn and how I've learned how to understand music filters through everything I do now," he explains.

The early records he'd find himself trying to unpack included KISS 'Alive' and Pink Floyd's 'Piper At The Gates Of Dawn' - disparate matches, but undoubtedly Ghost fuel with hard rock melodies and psychedelic tendencies. "I had the first and the second Pink Floyd on a double LP that was called 'A Nice Pair'. And that's the shit that I sat and listened to and played guitar to," he says proudly. "That's weird music, that's really weird chord sequences and melodies that sort of went nowhere. And, that coloured me a lot in my vision of this is how you write a pop song. Of course, I knew more conventional writing as well. But I figured that this resonates with me, and I want to write more like that."

Tobias is the first to admit that the influence his musical exposure has had on him isn't the most straightforward. "For all the years that I was in bands, up until Ghost, basically when I was in bands not doing well, I got a lot of, I wouldn't say stick, but it was always like, 'You write weird songs, there's something weird about them, and it will never really become anything because it has that sort of weirdness to it".

As he grew, the songs he'd heard reflected this inherent strangeness he'd constructed. Before the days of mass formulaic pop factories, the music emanating from the radio abided by the strictest rule of needing to at least be approachable, but within these confines, artists of the 70s and 80s would push the envelope as far as they could. Citing Nik Kershaw's 'The Riddle' as one example, "Holy shit, if you would have taken that song and taken it to a chord structure masterclass amongst pop writers now who want to write songs for Miley Cyrus or The Weeknd or any of that sort of level they would say, no, no, no, no, that this will never work. It's too strange. It's too weird. You can't do that; it doesn't have the normal chord progression.

"There are a lot of songs from the 80s that are like that," he reckons, "compared to the now, more informative way of writing, the 80s was braver actually, and it worked well. And those songs are evergreens in a way that a lot of the top radio shit from seven years ago is forgotten, and that's the stuff that I grew up with when I started playing the guitar."

Having made that inner sanctum, he would enter kindergarten a reality, one where he can explore those recesses of his mind shaken by the musical earthquakes he experienced; now, he's matured and deeply entrenched in the reality. "Throughout the modern day of pop writing, I know a few professional pop songwriters, and we continue having these conversations because in pop," he says, "where some of them work prolifically on really high releases, they're like, it's strange how the business wants everything to be so informative. Everybody wants a weird song, but still, all the big songs are usually very, very formatted [and] very, very simple."

While unpacking the songs he'd heard back in the 80s offered Tobias a chance to comprehend what makes a good song, it, more importantly, helped him to set out doing it on his own. When digging into crafting a new Ghost number, Tobias explains that "each new song is a little bit like virgin territory with its own riddle to be solved, and is always a combination of the horror of maybe not solving the puzzle, with the thrill when you do. And it's never easy because each new song needs something new. And so you constantly need to feed your ability with knowledge about how other things are."

Breaking it down into a figurative example, he likens it to being like a detective. "I'm assuming that part of being a great detective is to constantly have an open mind, but also constantly learning about human behaviour and wha people do. If you just had 100 forensic classes, but you know nothing about people and how they live their lives, it's gonna be hard to solve crimes." The same rings true for writers who have to read to improve and further understand language, while comedians pull from real-life experiences - music is no different. Tobias's early days of stripping down songs to their basic parts and then rebuilding them have remained a constant endeavour. "But that's how you write songs as well; you go and absorb new things."

The covers process, as mentioned, is a release for Tobias. When things are stuck when trying to piece together a new chapter for the Ghost bible, a cover offers up a chance for something lighter. "Working on covers can be equally euphoric," he confirms, "because it's fun to understand a song whereas, on the other hand, it can be almost demoralising because you're like, I can't believe that this song is so much better than anything that I've written! And it's so much easier. It's so simple."

"I find myself overcomplicating things often, but you might not hear the complicated detour that I took to end up at the more understandable, straighter version that ended up being the actual recording," he continues. "That's a never-ending struggle because that's how it's supposed to be. It's not like you write the one song. I don't think I know anyone or know of anyone who's content with the idea of having written one huge song. And then you know, okay, that's nirvana for you. You don't write the one song the same way that if you're a comedian, it's not like, 'Oh, I just told the funniest joke. So now I'm done".

While Tobias is one for wanting to keep the ball rolling and on a constant endeavour to continue his musical evolution, he knows there's a limit. Every release of Ghost must have a purpose. Nodding to the 60s method of firing singles out on all fronts, eventually compiling them for a full-length release, Tobias acknowledges his relationship with his fans is based on a more long-term understanding. "That's not how we do things; we make an album, and off of that album, there are singles - it's a 70s/80s thinking. And I don't want to refrain from that - I don't want too many singles to be these autonomous little creatures."

But the world is different now. It's a Wild West where being in the masses' consciousness is key, so things may have to change for him. Admitting that right now, he knows he's post-release of Ghost's last canon entry, 'Impera', which arrived back in 2022, and while 'Phantomime' is a reasonable enough bridge, sooner or later, he's going to have to play the game of ensuring Ghost ramp up. Earlier this year, Ghost collaborated with Def Leppard's Joe Elliott on a re-release of 'Impera' cut 'Spillways' which, while a fantastic addition to their arsenal, adds to the same notion Tobias is fearful of. "I'm slowly preparing for making a new record that's going to come out in 2024, which is way too long for the current contemporary music climate; you need to be ever-present," the last phrase hanging in the air ominously.

That doesn't mean he has to lower his standards, however. No Ghost release will exist just for content's sake. Everything must have its place. He even reckons a 14-track album is "a lot of music", and he still sees an album as being "22 minutes of music per side" - true to form, currently, no standard issue of any Ghost album breaches 12 tracks. He's even ready to aim for the likes of The Rolling Stones and The Beatles by swiftly lobbing a couple of spicy takes out. "Look, man, I don't even think that 'Exile on Main Street' is that good. Not even the fucking White album is that great - break it up! Both of those records would have been better if they were trimmed down to singular records."

That pop mind breaking through; Tobias is someone who knows that music is entertainment. Certainly, a medium which often leads to more bulky connotations, but it must entertain. It's why he doesn't pay any mind to those naysayers that yearn for Ghost to be more metal or to follow a different path. This is Tobias's game; we're just privy to the sermon. These days the floodgates are open and, when compared to previous decades, as Tobias remembers it, "you had to buy your own records. Whatever additional music you got, that wasn't maybe heard on the TV or the radio, when you took something from someone else, was usually a choice, so music styles could in some way be a little bit more insular back then just because you weren't subjected to as much." He mentions his beloved death metal as being a signifier of the changes happening. "Back in the day, when I was starting listening to extreme metal, that was completely embraced by a certain little subculture or group of mostly teenagers and 20-somethings. Whereas in the 2000s, when Vice started doing black metal reporting, all of a sudden you have indie personalities who were fans of Darkthrone, and so, obviously, what ended up that turned into this fusion, which was a positive and very natural thing."

This cultural shift is another reason Ghost's space is widening and its success growing. "Nowadays, people are a little bit more open," he admits. But, with this comes issues. "As time has progressed, metal and hard rock, as well as most genres that have been around for a while, [they've] gone from this youth culture to a conservative institution because so many of the fans are now aged." The passage of time waits for no one. But, more presciently for culture, it also means our understanding of what is 'good' and what should be where is moulded differently to when we were younger. "Unfortunately, that happens to most people regardless of who you were when you were 20," Tobias reckons, "or your ideals when you're like 40/50/60 years old. Your brain starts morphing into a slightly more conservative, slightly more nostalgic... You don't want things to change."

Tobias is the first to hold his hands up and admit the same has happened to him. He yearns for 1984 and even 1990-94. He would even be happy with 1987, back to those days with the crackling radio and a childlike spirit. "That would be so much cooler. I loved that way more than in this day and age. But I can't sit around and mope about that because it's not a problem that it's not 1987."

'Phantomime' is proof nostalgia can be a useful tool. It fuels with passion, and Ghost is Tobias's Neverland. "There's such a debate about what we are and why that is." Ghost are a band that, thanks to Tobias's musical education, transcend time. They exist on their own plain and with the evergreen, timeless sounds of yesteryear echoing around Tobias's head, long may Papa reign with his gloved melodic iron fist.

[boobabietch]

hi there! i saw that now you’re writing for gwen stacy so can i ask for dating gwen hcs?? thanks!!!

Dating Gwen hcs | Gwen Stacy x Reader

Warnings: suggestive in the slightest bit but mostly pure fluff

A/N: oh my god i can’t even explain why was this so hard to write!! I just had the worst writer’s block I’ve ever had but a million years later it’s finally here! I love this woman so so much so I really want you guys to like this post as much as I liked it!! So if you enjoyed this a like, comment or reblog would be amazing also don’t stop requesting bc I live, laugh, love for your requests. As I always say english is not my first language so if there are any mistakes please please tell my so I can change them asap. Love Sof :)

Word count: 995

This woman is literally two different people, Spider-Woman and Gwen, and they are completely different 

Spider-woman is super cool and badass with this heavy girlboss energy 

And let’s face it, Gwen is normally a very awkward person (this is said with the very best intentions!).

So let’s talk about Gwen for a moment 

When you guys started dating, I JUST KNOW that Gwen was super shy.

This woman had only two (2) friends in her life, and there is no sign of a romantic relationship before you, so for her, it was like walking on eggshells 

I feel like it takes some time for her to really open up and be 100% comfortable and not super self-conscious.

Due to her complicated relationship with her father and the Peter incident, she tends to be very bad speaking about her feelings, and that can lead to some troubles during your relationship 

But don’t get me wrong, she means well!! She loves you, and even if speaking about what she’s feeling is hard she really tries to be good for you

I’m a firm believer that Gwen’s love language is quality time and physical affection, but I’m going to elaborate on quality time a lil bit:

Her favorite moments of the day are the ones she shares with you, she is never happier than when she’s with you 

She really likes taking you on dates!!

Most of the time is nothing really fancy like a dinner date or something like that, she enjoys casual dates a lot more

I like to think that she’s a simple girl, her life is a complicated tangled mess, so she really likes to be able to relax, just you and her and that it’s enough 

Loves movie dates!! 

Most of the time she lets you choose whatever you guys are going to watch because she knows that 90% of the time she is not going to pay attention to the screen at all because she will be looking at you, your little reactions to the movie playing, your little laughs, smiles and confused stares at the screen, she loves capturing all those little details of yourself, so she can imagine them when she’s in a complicated situation and needs comfort 

 

Oh god, she is CLINGY asffff

She might even be touch starved

When you guys are alone, she’s all over you

Hugging you from behind when you're cooking (because I know this girl doesn’t know how to cook for shit, so you always do it for her) pecking the back of your neck occasionally just to see the goosebumps form on your skin

She likes laying her head on your chest when you are laying on her bed and talking about your day, bonus points if you play with her hair cause she’ll turn into putty immediately

Gwen loves kissing you.

Any kind of kiss, she is weak for that, she loves the feeling of your lips on hers, her lips on every inch of your body, or even your lips in every inch of her body, it grounds her, she likes the intimacy of this acts because it’s something she only does with you, and you only do it with her, she likes that.

She is a big fan of making out with you.

At first, she is a little hesitant with physical touch, always scared that one wrong step and she’ll make you uncomfortable 

But once your relationship grows stronger, she sees that there is something so comfortable about being in her or your room, bodies pressed together, heavy breathing, and messy kisses being the soundtrack of the evening just enjoying the feeling of her lips on yours, not caring about anything at all 

If you play with the hair on the nape of her neck while making out, oh. my. God. She’s in fucking heaven 

She can get a little carried away while making out, she usually ends up straddling your lap with her hands under your shirt, caressing your bare skin 

I just know this woman is super vocal!! So when you’re making out and there’s people home, loud music or a loud movie is A MUST, she doesn’t want people thinking you guys are doing other things, or she doesn’t want people to know you are actually doing other things…

She lives this super stressful and chaotic life, and she finds a LOT of comfort cuddling with you, before sleeping, in the morning, after a stressful day, as aftercare, etc

She. Loves. Cuddles.

She’s the little spoon (ofc she is) cause let’s think about it, she saves New York from falling apart every day; she takes care of everyone and everything, so she really likes to feel like someone’s taking care of her, that someone being you, ofc. 

So she always goes to your place after a long day, goes straight to bed, and just buries her face in the crevice of your neck and entangles her legs with yours while you hug her extra tightly.

And honestly speaking, that is home for her.

Gwen is a very shy person, so she’s not really fond of PDA, she thinks it’s uncomfortable and a lil bit disrespectful if you go to far

That doesn’t mean she doesn’t engage in any kind of physical affection in public, she’s just more subtle

Hand holding and cheek kisses FOR THE WIN!!

Being with her means a lot of wound tending, physically and emotionally 

But at the end of the day, you are the most precious thing in her life, and she would go to far extents to make you feel good in every aspect

You love her, and she loves you, and she wouldn’t even dare to ruin that 

I love this girl so much it’s ridiculous :((

Anywayssss

Requests are: Open!

Masterlist

[hoziersmicrophone]

coffee | ross macdonald

A/N: this is my first fic!! & it was inspired by the song “coffee” by Chappell roan, I highly recommend listening to it:)

WARNINGS: angst, suggestions of smut, not a happy ending‼️

pls enjoy <3

Can't meet you for dinner at the Italian place

It's where I met your family, some words were exchanged

I'd suggest the jazz bar on MaryAnn Street but

You'd buy me a drink and we know where that leads, so

“I don’t think I’ll be able to make dinner tonight, something’s come up. I’m really sorry. Do you want to do something maybe during the day tomorrow before you leave for Toronto?”

As soon as she sent the text message, she began to get anxious and rubbed her fingers against each other. She was aware that Ross would be fine with switching things up, as he usually is, but she regrets calling off their long-planned dinner. In less than 48 hours, he was heading out for the Canadian portion of the tour.

She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and saw that he was calling. She closed her eyes and exhaled deeply, before swiping to answer the call and bringing the phone to her ear.

“Ross, hi,”

“Is everything okay, love? What’s come up? Is something wrong?” his concerned voice echoed on the other end of the line, she knew he was alone in his hotel room.

She smiled softly at his sincerity, “Nothing’s wrong, and I’m okay, I promise. It’s just been a long day and I don’t really feel up for dinner. I’m tired,”

“Ah,” he sighed, “Okay, well, if you want, I can come over to your place for a bit? We can just relax, maybe watch a movie? I know you’ve been wanting to watch Challengers for a while- we could rent it yeah?”

He sounded calm and collected, but on the other end of the phone call, Ross had begun to wonder if she didn’t want to see him at all, and that this was just her way of attempting to let him down easy.

“That sounds great, actually. I’ll see you in an hour or so?”

He repressed a sigh of relief and smiled, “Sounds good, I’ll see you then.”

With a sigh, she ended the call and collapsed onto her couch. He was heading out with the guys shortly; they would be gone for six months, only doing two shows in Scotland during that time. She didn't want to upset him, but she also didn't want to drop everything she was doing to go on tour with her boyfriend.

They hadn't discussed the tour much, and she didn't want to be the first to bring it up. In fact, Ross hadn't even asked her if she wanted to go. She loved him, and even though she didn't want to end things, she wasn't able to see their future together as clearly as she once could.

I'll meet you for coffee 'cause if we have wine

You'll say that you want me, I know that's a lie

If I didn't love you, it would be fine

I'll meet you for coffee, only for coffee

An hour later Ross was at her apartment. He knocked twice on the door, and she opened it, wearing sweatpants, smiling at the man in front of her.

He offered a small hug, which she reciprocated as he walked through the door, “I brought wine,” he handed her a bottle of Merlot.

“Oh thank you,” she paused and put the bottle on the counter, “That was very thoughtful of you.”

“Shall I get the glasses?” he asked as he headed towards the kitchen, “I can make some popcorn too,”

“Sure Ross,” she smiled softly, “That would be amazing, thank you,” and she sat down on the couch and turned on the TV, finding the movie.

A few minutes later, Ross came back and set the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table while offering her a glass. She gave him a thank-you smile, and as the movie began, he put an arm around her and pulled her in close.

“I’m gonna miss this,” he whispered into the top of her head, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead.

She nodded, blinking away the stray tears that had formed in her eyes at his words. He evidently had no plans of asking her to join him on tour, he just expected her to sit around and wait for his return.

She exhaled shakily and took a sip of her wine, “Me too,”

They sat in silence and comfort as they watched the film, with a few quips being made at the sex scenes and the intensity of them. The movie ended and Ross stood up, “Do you want another glass to finish off the bottle?”

With a nod, she got to her feet and asked, "Why don't I get them this time?" and she proceeded to the kitchen with their glasses. As she reached for the bottle, removed the cork, and started to pour, she heard his footsteps behind her but chose not to acknowledge him.

Ross’s arms wrapped around her and he pulled her close, hugging her from behind.

“Ross,” she exhaled as she took a sip of her wine.

“Hm?” he murmured as he kissed the part of her shoulder that was exposed from her sweater.

“We need to talk about something,” she pulled out of his arms and turned around to face him, worry evidently etched on her features.

“What’s wrong?”

“You’re going away for six months,” she sighed, “And you- you didn’t even ask me how I felt about it or if I wanted to come with you.”

“Love,” he frowned, “I know how you feel about it, but it's my job! Besides, I didn’t think you’d want to come with us, I know you have a life here and-”

“I still would have liked to have been asked,” she said, her voice almost a whisper as she avoided his gaze.

“Well, do you want to come on tour with me?”

“Now you’re just asking out of pity, Ross.”

“What else do you want from me?!” he exhaled sharply. The wine on his breath was potent.

She met his gaze, “Don’t snap at me like that. I was just voicing how I was feeling, there is no reason for you to be defensive.”

His jaw locked and he repressed the urge to roll his eyes, “I’m sorry, I just don’t know what else to say here,”

“You don’t have to say or ask me anything, I just wanted to feel heard.”

“Well, do you?”

“I don’t know. It feels a bit like you’re having this conversation out of obligation.” she looked away again as her eyes welled up with tears once more, “I’m not going to sit around and wait for you like some kind of dog, Ross. Not for half a year.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I don’t feel wanted in this relationship anymore, and don’t really know if I want it for myself,”

“Well I want you!” Ross exclaimed. He ran his hand through his hair and grabbed her hand, “I love you.”

“I love you too, but-” she was cut off by his lips on hers.

“Let’s not talk anymore,” he whispered against her lips, taking her wine glass out of her hand and placing it on the counter, “At least not right now.”

Her eyes began to well up with tears once more, but she forced a smile on her face and gave him another, stronger kiss. She was determined to make the most out of their final night together if it was to be their last. With a drunken gait, they staggered through the house until they arrived at her bedroom. With their lips still attached, the door closed behind them.

Nowhere else is safe, every place leads back to your place

You said let's do the park 'cause I love the park

That may be true but god forbid it gets dark

Here come the excuses that fuel the illusions

But I'd rather feel something than nothing at all, so

Ross and the rest of The 1975 crew were in town for their shows in Scotland, and it had been three months since she'd seen or really spoken to him. Even though she hadn't heard from any of them all day and wasn't really expecting it, the fact that their show was in two hours and she hadn't heard anything still stung.

Just as the thought of not hearing anything entered her mind once more, her phone began to vibrate on the table in front of her. She saw that it was George calling, and answered.

“George?”

“Hey doll, how’s it going?”

She rolled her eyes at the nickname, “I’ve been better…how’s tour going? You guys are in town tonight, right? Glasgow?”

“Been keeping tabs on us?”

“Oh shut up, Daniel,”

He laughed, “Are you coming out tonight?”

“Couldn’t snag tickets.” That was only partially the truth. She did want to go, but didn’t want to see Ross. That, and the fight for tickets was a fucking bloodbath.

“If you come to the backdoors one of us will let you in sweetheart,”

“Really desperate to get me there tonight aren’t you George?”

“Would it be wrong of me to say that we miss you?”

“We?” She asked, her voice laced with skepticism.

“Yeah! Me, Matty, Hahn, Charli, Polly, hell even Jamie misses you!”

Her heart felt heavy at the lack of Ross’s name coming out of George’s mouth, but she brushed it off with a light laugh, “I’ll see you in a bit, but I want a backstage pass.”

“Sure thing doll,” and he hung up the phone.

An hour later, she found herself at the backdoors of the venue the boys were performing at. She had just texted George that she was here and had put her phone in her pocket when the doors swung open and she was pulled into and off the ground by the blonde balding man himself in a bone crushing hug.

“Jesus Christ, Daniel!” she exclaimed as she laughed, being put back down on the ground.

“I told you I missed you, sweetheart,”

“If you don’t lose that nickname soon, the next thing you lose will be your dick,” she warned but grinned, “I missed you too.”

“Let’s go say hi to everyone,” George grabbed her hand and dragged her into the dimly lit backstage, letting the doors slam shut behind them.

She had a blast reuniniting with almost the entire band, and was almost brought to the ground by Matty who would not release her from his hug.

“Shit, are you okay Healy?” She asked between laughing fits.

“He misses you and feels like shit,” Matty spoke in a hushed tone in her ear.

“I’m sure he does, and to be fair, he should feel shitty,” she responded, “I’m not here for him,” she spoke a bit louder as she pulled away from Matty’s hug.

“Who’s not here for who?” asked a voice, cutting around George and stepping into the light where she could see him and he could see her.

She straightened her back and turned around, “Hi,” she said, smiling at the tall man who looked shocked to see her.

“You aren’t here for me?” Ross’s eyes softened as he took in her features.

“Jesus, Ross. Whether or not you choose to believe it, my life does not revolve around you,” she brushed the hostile comment off with a small laugh and turned back to Matty, “You guys go on soon, can I just watch from the wings?”

“Yeah, of course,” he responded with a small glance at Ross, who’s expression remained indifferent.

“Alright lads, let’s get a move on with this show then,” George said, clapping Ross on the back, bringing him back to reality, “And let’s get our dear guest a bottle of wine to drink while she enjoys our performance,” he said to a stagehand, shooting her a wink.

She stood on stage left, which was the audiences’ stage right and watched the show from the wings. It also happened to be the side of the stage Ross played on for the majority of the show. The two kept making eye contact throughout the numbers, but he kept looking away the second her eyes met his. She had consumed over half of the bottle of wine, and was enjoying the buzz as her ears burned with the songs they were performing.

It wasn’t until the second verse of ��Sex’ when she got distracted watching him play. The way his hair framed his face and he focused so intently on the bass line of the song. The way he almost vibrated with the way the stage shook and how he ignored the screams of the crowd, evidently in love with him. The way his fingers moved; god, she loved his fingers. She was slightly drunk at this moment, but didn’t care. She was happy for the first time in months and never wanted the feeling to go away.

As she was evidently distracted by his performance, she didn’t notice him catching her staring and the slight smirk that creeped its way onto his face.

The song came to an end and he placed his bass on the stand as the rest of the band exited the stage, leaving Polly alone to sing ‘Jesus Christ 2005 God Bless America.’

Ross walked directly towards her and watched as her mouth formed a soft smile with a hint of a twinkle in her eye. “What?” he asked, a puzzled but playful expression on his face.

She grabbed him by the front of the red crewneck he was wearing and pulled him down to face her, and kissed him with just as much intensity as she had done the last time they had seen each other, three months ago. He responded into the kiss for a few seconds then pulled back, grabbing her hand,

“Where is this coming from?”

“Just shut up and kiss me, MacDonald”

He looked like he wanted to ask another question, but decided to ask it later as he kissed her again, pulling her backwards into the dark of the poorly lit backstage. She laughed against his lips as he walked into a mic stand, covering her mouth with her hand to hide a grin.

“Are you okay?” she asked, trying to stifle another laugh.

“Now who needs to shut up?” He retorted before kissing her again.

I'll meet you for coffee 'cause if we have wine

You'll say that you're sorry, I know that's a lie

If I didn't trust you, it would be fine

I'll meet you for coffee, only for coffee

Another three months had passed since the band’s Glasgow shows, and it had been another three months since she had seen Ross. Yes, they saw each other at the show and for the 48 hours the band was in Glasgow, but after that, they took off again, and she was left to her studio apartment and her thoughts.

She was sitting in her pajamas on her couch and was watching a live stream of the band’s last show. They all had high spirits, but she could tell that they were all a little defeated about it being the last one; both fatigue and sadness.

Her iPad screen went black as the stream ended and her heart swelled with pride for the band. They had all worked so hard the past six months and it most definitely paid off. A break was well deserved.

She was woken up by her phone vibrating beside her. According to her clock it was 3AM. Grabbing it, she rubbed her eyes as the screen illuminated the room.

RM: Hey, I get back to Glasgow tomorrow around 1. Do you wanna grab a coffee and chat?

She stared at the text as another came through.

RM: FUCK. I forgot about the time difference. I’m so sorry. Get back to me when you wake up x.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m awake. And I can do coffee, same spot as always?”

RM: Did I wake you?????

“No, you didn’t lol”

RM: Don’t lie to me, it’s 3AM. You’re never up that late.”

“Fine, you did wake me up, but again, don’t worry about it. I’ll see you tomorrow ”

RM: See you then x

She smiled and put her phone back down, before rolling back over and falling asleep, only waking up when her 11AM weekend alarm went off.

If I didn't trust you, it would be fine

I'll meet you for coffee, only for coffee

She walked into the coffee shop, the one they always used to go to, and saw that he was already sitting at a table with two cups in front of him.

Ross stood up when he saw her, and gave her a small hug before she sat down adjacent to him, “I got you a mocha,”

“You remember my order?”

“Of course I do, it’s disgustingly sweet,”

“I’m going to ignore that. How was the rest of the tour?”

They talked about the band, the shows that were better than others, and what they all got up to for the months on the road. Ross mentioned that Polly had started talking to one of the security guards at their show in Toronto and that the two now text almost everyday, and that Polly was planning to spend part of their hiatus in Canada.

“And how were your adventures on the road? Did you get up to anything interesting?” She teased, with a mild smile on her face.

“Not much, really,” he responded.

“Come on MacDonald, you have to give me more than that.”

“Fine,” he sighed, “I was pretty lonely if I’m being honest.”

She inhaled sharply, preparing for the conversation that was about to occur, “It was you who chose to be lonely, you did that to yourself, Ross,”

“I suppose I did,” he responded, absent-mindedly picking at his fingers, “I did miss you, you know,”

“Is that why I didn’t hear from you at all for the first three months and then hardly after the two days you were in town?” Her eyes reflected the sadness that was mirrored in his.

“I didn’t think you’d want me to reach out,”

“But I tried reaching out to you, and was met with radio silence! You can say you missed me all you want, Ross, but those are those words. You did not put in the effort to keep in touch with me and just that alone shows me more than you will ever be able to say,”

She stared at him with a fixed gaze. He stared back, each word she said had felt like a stab in his chest. He knew she was right, in a sense, but could not find the words to fix the animosity that had fallen in between them.

Their coffees had begun to get cold, and she was the first to avert her gaze from his as her phone vibrated on the table. Turning it over so the screen didn’t light up, she looked back up at him. Her eyes slightly softened,

Nowhere else is safe, every place leads back to your-

“Did you expect me to just be okay with you coming back into my life?”

“No, I-” he started,

“That I would just put my life on pause for you at any given moment? What happened three months ago in Glasgow was a lapse in judgement on my part, and yes, it was fun, but it was not what I had intended when George invited me to the show.”

“It’s not what I intended either, I don’t know what-”

She cut him off again, “Oh fuck off with that bullshit. You’re telling me you didn’t intend for my legs to open for you when you showed up at my door with two bottles of wine and flowers?” Her voice had lowered to a whisper, not wanting to alert any of the other customers to their conversation.

She paused, her eyes glistening with tears, “You are the only person who knows me inside and out, Ross, and I know you too. So you cannot tell me you showed up that night after the second show with my favourite wine to only watch whatever program was on that night. I’m not that stupid.”

“I have never ever thought that you were stupid” Ross’s eyes stared into hers, and he clenched his fists together, “And it pains me that you would think that I only see you as a way to get a quick fuck and then leave.”

“How else am I supposed to see myself in your eyes when you only reach out to me when it is convenient for you. I am not at your beck and call Ross, and I am certainly not something you can dispose of once you’ve used,”

“I need you to stop talking so negatively about yourself, please. You have to believe me when I say that none of this was ever my intention, and I never want to hurt you. I love you.” Ross’s eyes were now starting to well up with tears, but he blinked them away when he saw that hers were beginning to stain her cheeks.

“I love you too, Ross. But I think that’s why it's so hard for me. You are all consuming, and it’s ruining my life,” she grabbed his hand and squeezed it gently, “I think I need to let you go,”

“What do you mean? I’m back home for at least a few months now, we can make this work!” He was pleading, and his eyes showed nothing but desperation.

“I don’t know if I want to make it work, I don’t know if my heart can take it.”

“So what? We’re just going to go our separate ways now? Forever?” Ross felt his voice crack at the word as his eyes welled up once more.

“For now, yeah. I think we both just need a lot of space to think about this Ross, think about what we really want.”

She wiped away the tears that had fallen and took her hand out of his, standing up and grabbing her coat off the back of the chair. He followed suit, and the two walked out of the coffee shop so they were standing beside her car. She opened her mouth to say something else when she felt him wrap his arms around her, enveloping her in the tightest hug she had ever received.

She buried her head into his chest as the tears fell down her face once more, and felt him kiss the top of her head. The two embraced for what felt like eternity, when it was only a matter of minutes before he pulled away.

“I do love you, you know,” he said with a sad smile, “I’m sorry I couldn’t be what you needed.”

“I don’t want you to blame yourself, it’s the lifestyle you signed up for, it’s just not what I can cope with anymore. You really are one of the best men I have ever met,” she responded, “And I love you too, Ross.”

She turned away from him as more tears started to fall, and she got into her car. The engine turned on and she drove out of the parking lot without giving him a last glance. This would always be a losing battle they would face, so they both needed to be strong and let the other go, because in doing so, they could find themselves.

The carousel never stops turning, so sometimes one of the best things you can do is get off.

We've done this before

And I don't need it anymore

So let's not do coffee, let's not even try

It's better we leave it and give it some time

If I didn't love you, it would be fine

'Cause If we do coffee, it's never just coffee

It's never just coffee

A/N: that marks the end of my first fanfic!! please reblog and let me know what you think! <3<3 also shoutout to @mads198-9 for being my beta reader, ily loser💕💕💕💕

[thislovintime]

1968.

“‘Actually, I wanted to leave the group over two years ago when the first season ended, but the guys convinced me not to. I didn’t care about all the things that were happening, all the acclaim. I hated the work! It was tough, and I didn’t like it. I just wanted to record for all my life. Also, the pressure was awful. We were working in an incredibly new environment. Half of the crew on the show was young and had very little experience at that level of work. Many of them were getting their first big break. Actually, after the TV show was canceled it was easier for me to leave. Doing the TV show was the worst. Then came the movie, and I couldn’t forego the movie, so I did it. You know, there were moments here and there — lots of good, funny stuff happening throughout — but the only time that I was really happy was when we were recording the ‘Headquarters’ album. The concerts were fun, but during the concert tours you are removed from your friends except for the guys. And even when we did take a few friends along it was only a mild relief. This last tour of Australia and Japan wasn’t fun because I felt hideously under-rehearsed. I was constantly pushing for rehearsals, and they were constantly saying well, like later. We couldn’t get together. Also, we didn’t play any new music this last concert tour. It was all old tunes, nothing from our newer albums, and it was a bore. But I think they suspected I was leaving anyway. For me, a lot of the pressure was off. When I felt a part of the group every time someone said something that jarred my sensibilities, I’d raise a huge ruckus and everybody thought I was out of my mind. While we were making the TV Special, knowing I was not going to be there any longer, I just thought to myself — I don’t have to worry about this thing — and I just let everything slide off my back. They must have though something was screwy. Then I finally told them, ‘Gentlemen I’m in negotiations to resign from the group.’ And they said, ‘Okay, well, there’s not much time, we’d better get to work on this Special.’ So we taped the thing and that’s the last I saw of them. The last day of the taping they gave me this little testimonial memorial watch.’ From his pocket Peter drew out a silver, antique-looking timepiece with the back side engraved, ‘To Peter Tork, from the guys down at work.’ ‘I’m free, I don’t know what I’ll be doing. I’m actually a little apprehensive, because there’s no doubt that there are three other incredibly talented fellows out there. They’re very talented guys. Mike is one of the funniest people I’ve ever known. Micky is even funnier and Davy is just cute as a button. Who could ask for anything more? Davy dances so great, did you see him dance in the film? I’ve not seen dancing like that on the screen except from Fred Astaire. The only other thing is that I’m both really relieved and really, really apprehensive. I’m terribly glad and also terribly sad.’” - NME, January 25, 1969

“Peter and I were the bulk of the playing ability because we were musicians. But when Peter left it rather unnerved Davy and Micky — and I changed my mind [about leaving]. After all, the personal appearances were pretty well satisfying, the music was fun, and the whole thing was fairly lucrative. And Davy and Micky left alone would have been in real trouble.” - Michael Nesmith, Disc and Music Echo, September 19, 1970

"In a telephone interview this week, Tork explained why he left the group in 1968, three years after it was formed. ‘Musicians were being auditioned in an effort to create the Monkees, and the purpose was to reap money,’ he said. ‘But for our first two albums, studio musicians were hired to do the instrumentals and we just did the lead singing. I didn’t want that.’ Tork convinced the other three members, Davy Jones, [Micky] Dolenz and Mike Nesmith, to do the third album themselves. ‘But I couldn’t get the guys to go for that again, so the fourth album was half and half,’ he said. Critics had frowned on the Monkees for this. ‘Every single malcontent felt he had the right to tell me what was wrong with the situation. I took the critics to heart,’ Tork said. ‘When I talked to the guys about it, they told me if I want more I should get my own act.’ Tork describes his current relationship with Jones, Dolenz and Nesmith as ‘cordial.’ ‘I learned to put all my bitterness behind me,’ he said. ‘I hear about them through the grapevine, but we have no real call to talk to each other, although, I had a brief lunch with Davy Jones in Japan recently.’ When Tork joined the Monkees in October 1965, he was 23 years old and inexperienced in handling fame and fortune. ‘There’s a lot of things involved with money and recognition, and the price was much higher than I expected,’ he said. ‘There’s an isolating pressure that goes along with success. I couldn’t handle it.’" - article by Lisa Stenza, Connecticut Daily Campus, February 26, 1982 (read more in an older post)

[elwolfen]

Alfred Molinathon Day 1:

Species (1995)

Dr. Stephen Arden

His Role: His character doesn't have too much to do until near the end of the movie. During the containment lab scene, I just thought that he reminded me of some kid in the back of a classroom who sometimes chimes into the conversation or scene of the main characters. I don't know why.

Also, when the cast is waiting for Sil to arrive back to the club, him thinking it's a waste of time and decides to just opt out and sleep in the van is very relatable to me. That's what I do half the time at boring events.

When it is his time to shine, we get to see some of his personality, which is that he can be quite fun! Him hanging out with the other guys was really fun to see, I really enjoyed when him and Dan shared time together, I really wish we got more of the two! Although iffy on the whole letting Dan think long island iced tea was just tea and him not feeling good afterwards.

(This is a funny picture)

Arden shooting his shot with those two ladies was hilarious. He tried, but he didn't even properly ask if they had dates or not.

And the final scene with him... he really just bought what Sil (not knowing it's her) said? Like even if I was very horny and lonely, I would still be really freaked out if someone broke into my room because they were interested in me. Just saying. I was also really afraid I was gonna finally see someone's dick in those movie and it was gonna be his, but thankfully not (I don't like see anyone's penis, no thank)... but there is dick, we'll get back to that.

So he successfully knocks up Sil (not intentionally on his part) and gets killed. Which I already knew was gonna happen, I haven't watched this movie before, but I knew the general plot and that he died. I didn't enjoy the fact that his death only gets brought up once by Laura asking "Did you see him?" Like that's it. Nothing from Dan, I want to see him devastated! He's an empath!!!

I also thought it would have been more interesting if he was alive (not just because I wanna see more of Molina), just him grappling with the fact that he unintentionally help Sil with her goal and the other fact that he has a alien/human hybrid son! It would have been funny if someone said, "Your son tried to kill me, Arden!" Maybe him having mixed feelings that his son had to be killed or maybe this made-up version the son wouldn't be dead. I don't know!

Anyways, this character had more potential, but I enjoyed his last few scenes. Especially his bromance time with Dan.

Last thing: I was very envious of his hair. Give it to me, please.

~~~

The Rest of the Movie: I didn't expect to really enjoy this movie, but I did and I'm glad. I heavily judged it solely on Sil's alien form... yes really.

I was really surprised that I liked both plots of the movie (Sil on the prowl and the team hunting her down), and the romance between Press and Laura? I actually love it. It was kinda cute, I don't always like romances happening quickly but this was good.

Laura: You want to dance?

Press: Who, me?

Laura: Yeah, you.

God, I love how she delivers that line! Gently mocking his voice. And her saying "cute socks" when they're about to have sex was adorable.

~~~

I really liked Dan the empath but I don't fully know if he was supposed to be kind of a joke? Like him stating his empathic yet obvious observations and how everyone reacts to that. He kind of reminded me of Padparadscha Sapphire form SU, just a bit.

Like I said earlier, since we saw plenty of scenes of Press and Laura, I wish we saw more of Arden and Dan.

~~~

Sil's journey and mission throughout the movie was interesting, but her alien design really bothered me. Like, were the tenta-tits really needed? I really got the Xenomorph and H.R. Giger vibes from the design, which I'm sure it was a huge inspiration. Actually, I looked it up, he did design her...

It was nice to see so many people being kind to who they thought was a foreign woman, even the motel guy! But that poor woman she uses to fake her death... her acting was incredible and heartbreaking.

~~~

Xavier... I didn't like anything about this character and the actor, I'm sorry, but I don't understand the direction he was given. Not his fault, but man I was happy when he died. I was also confused with the scene after Sil faked her death and she was in the other car if Sil just knew what he was gonna say or she was mind controlling him? Which doesn't show up anywhere else.

~~~

The horror aspect of this horror movie was not really there, which I didn't mind. It wasn't scary or anything, but I enjoyed the chase between the team and Sil and all the people Sil meets.

~~~

The last thing I want to add is the fact that I laughed way too hard at one scene. In the beginning, Xavier was talking about how Sil came to be and says:

"We decided to make it female so that it would be more docile and controllable."

And I hope that it would cut back to the only woman on the team, and yes, it did. I howled with laughter, probably wasn't that funny but it was to me.

Oh yeah the penis I mentioned? It was Sil and Adren's sons'... I didn't really wanna see a kids genitals. No thank you.

[panelshowsource]

alex talked about that recently in this interview! [rubs hands together like a mischievous little shrimp] i hope we see it one day heh

hehehe it was a fun task! we've NEVER seen alex play such a character during a task like that — he's received cuddles and made demands and eaten meals, but this was next level Alex Acting — so that was really fun!

lucy talking incessantly about alex's legs but mans also got his long sparkly toes

i think people are too quick to call this or that iconic, but ngl the second i saw this final image...it's practically a horror movie poster...PERFECT

can you imagine greg davies being your drama teacher and then he quits to become a comedian and the next day you see him on tv as Massive Greg hand feeding a man with no teeth who is pretending to be a tortoise

honestly if that's the one that haunts you i'd say you got off pretty easy, i scrub my eyes with concrete mix every night to try and forget ass sandwich and yet... but hey at least when he hurt his hand he finally had an excuse for that stupid bandage he wears hahaha

she was being so sincere and he was Such A Little Shit 😭

you know what i was binging some simon stuff as well, since it was his birthday, and ran across this again after all these years!

aw anon i'm so glad ♡

moooost of my fave episodes are like ~2005–2015ish? probably the nostalgia!

21.01 with jess hynes bc she is an icon to me

21.05 love seeing simon and miquita together

21.07 with martin freeman

22.02 with stephen fucking fry YES

22.04 was crazy like conchords-era rhys darby was there (i LOVED flight of the conchords lmao) and then johnny vegas and danny dyer next to each other? what a lineup

22.12 with josh groban, omid, martin freeman, heston is an ALL-TIME CLASSIC

i LOVE the guest-hosted episodes with martin freeman, rhod gilbert, frankie boyle (especially 24.12 with miles jupp and professor green), jack dee, alex horne, kathy burke, and johnny vegas

23.12 doctor who special HANDS DOWN

24.02 it's hilarious how respectable catherine tate is offset by how ridiculous catherine tate is

25.06 when greg hosted with frankie boyle, h was there just being h, holly walsh angel, it was a riot

john barrowman is also extremely iconic on buzzcocks, probably most so on 19.05 but also when he hosted 25.12

there are tons of older episodes from the lamarr era that i love — bob mortimer is so funny on this series especially on sean's team, 12.05 when jimmy and claudia were with phill, fun to see ian dury on 5.01, and so on — but these above are some of my personal all-time faves!

aw i really appreciate the rec! first i would like to say i looked it up on youtube and stumbled across the american version and holy shit the dude who hosted brainsurge on nickelodeon is hosting that and WOW my brain would have died never having remembered he existed if i hadn't seen him just now — so that was very weird. ANYWAYS i'll check it out!

imo it didn't start with ben miller...rob is always like this... sometimes when the pod episodes are shorter (less than 10min? does he do that anymore), you can tell some of the bullshit is edited around, but now that they're longer-form conversations he is dominating every episode. i'm certainly no rob hater, but it's really unsurprising to me because facts are facts — rob is self-involved, extremely concerned about being seen and being heard, incredibly pouty if not outrightly bitter when he's not recognised, when fame/success doesn't chase him, when he's getting less from life than he believes he deserves. there are aspects of rob in the trip that aren't far from reality, if you see what i mean. rob is, honestly, quite showbiz. don't get me wrong, he's funny, affable, talented, we love him! but he's not a stellar podcast host because he doesn't have the attention span to let someone else have a moment. have a story. put something on the table. there are definitely times i give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he's trying to form a connection by sharing a related experience/feeling/whatever, but other times he's just being self-involved, pivoting the convo, and it is what it is. it's too bad when we don't always get lengthy, insightful content for someone we love — like miles, let's say — and when we finally do rob isn't doing his part; i felt that way about the dara episode. i don't think rob means any malice, it's just how he is...+ a dash of being a middle-aged white man in showbiz...

i got this one yesterday...

...and i'm going to dedicate it to you<3

and frankly sign me up for the woz/vcm experience i am happy to be a little tomato in that flapjack sandwich

you guys are really sweet, it makes me smile ♡ i don't know why some days the trolling can really get to you and other days you forget it in a couple blinks... i feel like i've been having some bad days. last week i saw something on my own dash with thousands of notes outright mocking me and i haven't really recovered from the uncomfortableness/just general hurt feelings. i want be better about letting those things go, but i also think a holiday break will do me good. anyways, thank you for always enjoying the blog and taking the time to be so kind ♡

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[ravangie]

Your style of characters is so beautiful!! How did you learn/develop/practice to draw like that?

Ah!!! Thank you!! 💗💗💗✨✨

Here comes a long rant, get ready

Talking about your own art style is kinda tricky, I feel like to artists it comes as second nature, so one doesn't really see it as a so-called separate "style". Rather they see it as a continuation of themselves in a drawn form (at least i do). But if i had to, i'd say that one's art style consists of two things:

1) What comes naturally.

I look at 5 year old kids drawing and see that each one of then has their own unique style. Already. Without even trying.

I've been drawing my whole life and I never tried to shape my drawing style into a box that I could call "my style". I just let the lines flow naturally and followed where they led me.

I started going to live-drawing sessions again recently and my friend told me that she could see "my style" of drawing that she sees in my digital works in those quick sketches that I make during these sessions. I think that's because when I work on digital illustrations, I don't think about how I should draw this or that. I just do it.

So, practise! With time, the ways you personally draw things will flow to you. When you draw one thing a 100 times you start to notice simularities in all of the 100 different examples, and then you systematize what you've learned and put it to use drawing your 101 drawing. After a while you won't even think about it before drawing them in the usual for you way.

I like to draw freely, not picking up a pencil from paper, with my lines just flowing naturally everywhere that I want them to. And I try to keep that same feeling in my finished drawings (where there is lineart still visible).

Here, found an example of a quick live sketch without any boobies for ya (just to be safe) and a linework for one on my more recent digital works. See how I try to keep the lines alive in the same way. And add highlights where I deem them necessary just for something interesting to the eye.

2) Your inspiration.

Everything that you see and like impacts your style, whether you mean it or not. My friend (other friend) watched Wolfwalkers the other night and immediately texted me saying she could see the inspiration that I've drawn from that movie. And she was right. I am a fan of the artstyle of the whole studio, so it's only natural that i, maybe even unconsciously, took something that i liked from their works and incorporated it into my own art style.

When I asked my friend what exact simularities she saw, she couldn't pinpoint them, she said it's just the vibe that she's getting. And i was content with that answer. Means i didn't copy and paste, but rather interpreted what i liked in my own way.

Also. Very important. You have to love what you draw. You're gonna wanna spend some extra time and add those extra couple of strokes that don't add anything in meaning, but are there to just be pretty. Sometimes those couple of strokes make the biggest difference. I think it's is very important to take time to just sit with your work and listen to what it needs to make it truly finished. A drawing can go from empty and unfinished to fantastic in just a couple of lines.

So. There it is. Sorry for the long answer. Or maybe you're welcome? Anyway hope it satisfies you!💖💖

[bylerserotonin]

The amount of queer coded imagery Eddie has throughout the two IT movies is insane. This is gonna be an “analysis” of sorts to break down some of this imagery. If I missed anything, please comment/reblog and I’ll add it!

Eddie’s character revolves around being a hypochondriac who’s mother has caused him to be afraid of the world. Pennywise manifests as sickness and disease for him. As infection. This is most interesting when it comes to AIDS, which was sweeping the nation during the time of IT, in 1988. To set the scene of the AIDS epidemic, below are some snapshots of tabloids talking about the crisis.

Eddie name drops AIDS during the scene where they’re biking Ben to the pharmacy, and it shows how much fear his mother had placed in him about the epidemic.

“I mean, he’s bleeding all over and you guys know that there’s an AIDS epidemic out there right now, as we speak, right? I mean, my moms friend in New York City got it just by touching a dirty pole in the subway and enough of AIDS blood got into his system from a hangnail. A hangnail!”

The leper perfectly represents his fears of being infected by this disease (as, in his mind, being gay dooms you to AIDS without question). It’s most represented during the flashback scene in IT 2 when Eddie wanders into the basement of Derry’s pharmacy. When Eddie gets down, we get close ups of dirty needles and bags of blood. And as we know, this is one way AIDS spreads.

When Eddie does reach his Mom, she’s begging him to save her, saying “Don’t let it infect me, Eddie.”

The first time Eddie saw the Leper, he was at Neibolt. This is another very heavy queer coding moment. Eddie is chased through the lawn by the leper and reaches the fence. He turns around only to see the Leper isn’t there. In his place is Pennywise, holding a bunch of balloons in a form of a triangle.

The pink triangle was reclaimed by the LGBTQIA community after its use by Nazi’s during the Holocaust. In 1986, some activists in New York City created a poster calling attention to the AIDS crisis with the words Silence = Death and a pink upwards-facing triangle. It has since been used on signs to show that certain places are safe for the Queer community. This triangular shape of the balloons is only ever used towards Eddie in this scene. Everything is very deliberate in the IT franchise, and this is no different. It is clearly to wave at the Queer audience and tell us that Eddie is gay.

The Queer coding doesn’t end there. On Eddie’s red shorts, you can clearly see rainbow imagery.

In movies, clothing can be an integral way to show small details and Easter eggs to those who are paying attention. The costume designers had to go out and pick shorts with rainbows on it on purpose, so of course it must mean something. Another character who wears gay imagery is Richie, who wears a rainbow shirt. Richie is canonically gay and in love with Eddie.

There is also some closet imagery. In IT 2, Eddie and Richie come across the ‘Very scary’ to ‘Not Scary’ doors. The scene shows both of them (closeted men), facing the door, which then turns out to be a closet.

One of the most prominent parallels is during the opening of the second IT. Adrian Mellon and his boyfriend are at Derry’s carnival when they’re attacked and hate crimed. Adrian tries to grab his inhaler, but one of the attackers kicks it out of his hand. Adrian is Eddie’s out comparison. He represents what Eddie was scared of and why he’s still trapped in the closet. Adrian also acts as a cautionary tale and reminds us how truly dangerous being gay is in Derry.