#let ginger lucien be happy

[bookishwithathought]

Lucien, SIR 😩

Asking SJM to bring our sassy fox back

Release the sassiness 😭

[bookishwithathought]

Willing to riot, ride at dawn and bring pitchforks if SJM doesn't give this sweet man his HEA. If anyone has earned it by the troubles and tragedies they've endured, it's him.

Can we please take a moment to appreciate just how tragic a character Lucien is? And acknowledge how much he deserves his own happy ending? 🥺🥺

Raised in a household where he is hated by all of his brothers and his father. 

Forced to watch as his father executes the female he loves and planned to marry. His own brothers restrain him. When he flees, three of them follow him and he’s forced to kill one of his own brothers, while Tamlin kills the other.

He’s attacked by Amarantha after insulting her. She carves out his eye and sends him back to the Spring Court. The injuries are so gruesome they made Tamlin vomit.

Under the mountain he refuses to give up Feyre’s name and Rhysand basically mind tortures him.

He helps Feyre in the first task and his punishment is to be whipped by Tamlin (his best friend). Amarantha slows his healing powers so he can’t even move for days.

During the second trial, Amarantha chains Lucien to the floor and he almost dies again, all while his brothers watch and laugh.

When Tamlin refuses to perform the rite on Calanmai, Lucien goes in his place, despite his hatred for Ianthe. This is borderline SA in my opinion.

He finds out he has a mate only to lose her instantly. Thinks she's being tormented in the NC.

He is used as a pawn in Feyre’s schemes to destroy the Spring Court. This eventually results in him not being able to return to Spring because people think he helped hurt Feyre or was complicit.

Ianthe ties him to a tree and tries to assault him.

Once again his brothers attempt to kill him as he and Feyre try to get to the Night Court.

He is constantly rejected by Elain, probably thinks he will never be loved by her.

At one point Lucien comes back from the Spring Court with a black eye. He is now being physically abused by his former best friend.

After Rhysand taunts Tamlin, Tamlin has all of Lucien’s belongings dumped on the Spring Court border, so now he can’t return there either. He has no home.

HAS MY MAN NOT SUFFERED ENOUGH? 😭😭😭

[starryhiraeth]

Toddler Headcannons

Acotar & Tog

PT 1 here-

Acotar pregnancy Headcannons

(Btw I’m so sorry it’s been so long, I’ve been doing my exams and I’ve been so busy with them but I’m back so please feel free to request anything)

(There might be spelling errors, idk I did read through it but it’s anyones guess at this point🤷‍♀️)

Rhys-

•He might as well shout from the tallest mountain that he has a daughter

•Will bring her EVERYWHERE, even high lord meetings, she’s just sitting there ether on yours or his lap, or she’s playing with toys in front of you

•You cant tell me Rhys isn’t the parent to dress his kids in thousands worth of designer clothes that they are going to grow out of within like a month anyway

•SPOILED FUCKING ROTTEN, she is SO cheeky, most times her giggles will echo throughout the halls. She has absolutely NO FILTER, at the high lords meeting she’ll point a Beron and repeat what she heard Rhys say when talking about him “Ginger cunt” it was quite an awkward meeting after that

• He literally can’t say no to her, and she knows this, all she has to do is the puppy/baby doll eyes and she gets whatever she wants

Azriel-

•Your two daughters are polar opposites, of course they had Illyrian wings and Az’s hair but they have your eyes and Az adores it, he’s very protective over his daughters

• Thea is much more gentle than her sister, when she was younger she was scared of her shadows but now they are a comfort to her and Az taught her how to wrap them around herself like a blanket (she has gotten stuck a couple times tho)

•She usually does that blanket thing whenever she’s snuggling with Az, they are both very calm so she defo a daddies girl

•Petra is a mini psycho, not really but she is much more wild, when she was a baby she would have massive tantrums whenever she wasn’t near you, she’s a mummas girl, and was never scared of her shadows but instead used them to freak out her sister #sistertings

•Like I said, Petra was much more wild, like she would act first and think later, this stresses Az out SO MUCH because he’s scared something will happen to her but it brings him comfort when he sees her finally calm while asleep laying on you whilst your on the sofa

Cass-

•Goes flying with Jaxs almost everyday, it gives you a mini heart attack every time but you trust that he won’t drop him, Cassian would rather fly into a volcano then put your son at risk

•Jaxs is prone to having tantrums, he doesn’t mean to be stroppy, he is just very emotional and doesn’t know how to explain is and so he cries and sometimes hits

•The first time Jaxs hit you in a tantrum, he was 2, it wasn’t hard and he tried hugging your after but Cassian was pissed, he put Jaxs on the naughty step and was scared his son would just get more violent, to which you had to explains that Jaxs just had big emotions for a small child and is learning

•After that you all fell asleep in an armchair, you in Cassian’s lap and Jaxs in yours, somehow it was beautiful and chaotic, Cassian held you both closer and couldn’t remember a time when he had been so happy

•When he’s not unhappy, Jaxs is the most rambunctious, you can’t count how many times he’s come to you with a red mark on his face because he ran into a glass door, he’s a sweetie though and such a carbon copy of his father, also I can totally see Cassian wearing those baby carries that go across the front, with no shame, he’s comfortable in his masculinity

(Btw, he’s still hung up on the fact that you didn’t let him call Jaxs Cassian Jr)

Lucien-

•Lucien is very warm, idk how to explain it but I imagine him giving very homely vibes

•Kalea is the same, she likes staying close to her parents and really likes nature, so much that every Saturday you all go on walks in the country side

•There, Kalea chases butterfly’s and picks flowers, though the orange ones are always here favourite

•She doesn’t really have a favourite parent, she just finds comfort in both of you and is a little cautious meeting those she doesn’t know but when she gets to know then she is super cute

•You two are Lucien’s entire world, nothing, and I mean nothing could make him happier then playing board games in pyjamas as a family, Infront if the firelight whilst the sun sets

Eris-

•So-Berons dead!

•Anyway, he DOES make tiny thrones next to yours and his for your sons, Idris is the older one but Maël is the one who acts older, Idris is the one accidentally setting trees on fire whilst Maël judges from a distance

• Maël will usually be found in your lap, playing with whatever necklace you have on and trying to relax when suddenly Idris, with the tips of his hair on fire comes running through the hallways yelling like a madman and 2 seconds later Eris is running after him

•After that Maël will probably mutter something like “They crazy mama” to which you just nodded

•Eris will make some serious changes to the decor in your house, whilst growing up all Eris remembers is the lifeless dark hallways so he changes that immediately, he is determined to be better than his father and give his children a happy childhood

Helion-

•Yuna is the probably one of the most spoiled children ever! And I mean like- if it were a modern AU her room would be worth like 30Mil by the age of 5

•Her favourite colour is gold and she is absolutely covered in it! Gold clothes, gold jewellery, gold glitter, gold everything!

•speaking of gold glitter, it’s everywhere! And if you think for one second that Helion is embarrassed to be covered in gold glitter then I’ll just let you know that he is the one who keeps buying it for her, He wears the glitter and wears it proud!

•Your lives are luxuriant! Just imagine, in a row, Helion, you, Yuna, all in massage chairs with cucumbers on your eyes and face masks in silk robes detailed with golden flakes…you lucky bitch

•Yuna will sit on her fathers throne ALL THE TIME, she’ll be high lady one day and she knows it, actually there were many times where you sat on Helion lap on your throne and Yuna had a mischievous smile on her face as she sat on her fathers throne all by herself

Dagdan-

•Okay so- Rune and Zara kind of hate each other, they are always arguing and I don’t mean normal sibling arguments, it actually worries you and since Dagdan thinks that twins are important and doesn’t like them fighting, he’ll sit them in a room and tie there hands together when they argue. Think:

•and as much as you feel bad for your babies it kinda funny

•the only time the twins get along is when they are making CHAOS

•Setting the throne on fire ✅

Trying to jump into the cauldron ✅

Stealing their great uncles crown and throwing in a nearby river ✅✅✅

•You and Dagdan love them but sometimes you’ll put them in Brannagh’s room and just take off, for her to look after them for a couple days 😂

Tamlin-

•soooo- there was a joke on my last post in the comments about Tamlins kid being born with dark hair and purple eyes and as funny as I thought that was, I’ll continue will my original plan😂

•Tamlin originally thought he would want a son but when your daughter arrived he couldn’t have ask for anything more or different, he loves her more than life and have every plant based nickname for her “Petal” “rose” “Lily flower” and the list goes on

•Persephone is the sweetest child that ever was, she had Tamlins hair and your eyes and lots and lots of freckles, she also has dimples ☺️

•She is know an as the “The realms Joy” throughout spring court and the people love the little princess though Tamlin sometimes worries that the harshness of become a ruler will kill her happiness, you assure him that she’ll have people by her side to help her

•She does this really cute thing where she’ll go up to someone, usually you or her father and ask what your favourite flower is, it doesn’t matter if you’ve already told her, she’s little okay? She forgets these things!, anyway she’ll ask your favourite flower and after you say it she’ll nod her head and march out of the room only to return 25 minutes later with basket full of the flower that you named and maybe a couple weeds she’s just so happy she could give them to you and Tamlin will have them put in a vase every time, weeds and all

Im so sorry this took like a century to write 😂

Anyway, exams are over so I can write so much more now and I’m open to requests

I’m honestly kind of surprised how much I wrote for Tamlin, but I guess it’s Tamlin fans lucky day, your welcome 😉

Anyway ummm

Bai?❤️

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Hi loved a court of hope and second chances , wondered if you could possibly write where eris meets her ( I feel like he wpuld love his little sister)

I just had this urge to revisit this... Could be read as a standalone piece of Eris meeting his sister. ✌🏼😭

Hope

One thing was certain. Eris didn't expect to get a letter from Lucien. Things in autumn had been uneasy and he was so busy, so deep in all the shit that he had even forgotten about anything else. That there was indeed a world beyond these suffocating walls. That there were people who cared about him. Who could even miss him. Feel the absence of him.

Just the minute that letter landed in the fireling's hands, Eris had dismissed everyone. Ushering them away coldly. Rushing to his upper-level rooms. Before harshly slamming the door. Staring at it. Almost burning holes in the paper. It wasn't like him to hesitate but he just couldn't help it. Something told him that this was important. Had it finally happened? Had something bad happened?

"Missed you at the arrival party. It's a girl, healthy and strong. Y/N sends wishes. Come visit us soon. Lucien", it read. Eris just gripped the letter harder. Reading over and over and over. A girl. Weirdly enough it felt like his stomach had done a flip. Or was there something flustering there? He did feel guilty for missing the grand party, which Eris was sure Helion threw. Yet he hoped you weren't too upset with him. He constantly sent you flowers and apple tarts that you craved often. A smile paints Eris's lips. A smile he doesn't even catch. That escapes him and is only seen by the night around him.

The days leading to the tea party that now was arranged had Eris in crumbles because what do you gift a child? A baby... A girl... He was so used to crafting wooden swords and bouts. Surely, a girl would have no use with that. Not that he was being sexist here. He had seen some seriously dangerous females. And there was a handful he respected more than any man. But it still felt wrong. Too rough for something so delicate and fragile.

Yet nothing compared to how much of a mess he was going to be the day he was stood by the outside gate. Hands full of stuff. He had wanted to turn away and go back at least a dozen times. He even winnowed further from the castle so no one would see him stalling and fidgeting. He was this big bad guy. Someone who everyone hated so what business did he have here? And to let him see the baby? Maybe no one would even let him... Maybe he was only imagining that...

But it all in a way melted away when Eris saw you rushing down the stairs. Hands open as you moved to embrace him. "Shouldn't you be in bed still and not run down the stairs like...", he muttered as you nuzzled into his chest. Eris let out a content sigh. A wave of calmness rushed through him. "I'm quite well. Plus, I'm too excited to see you. It's been so long", you cupped his face gently and Eris leaned into it without a second thought. Only now realizing just how much he missed your presence.

"I smell a pie", you whispered and Eris couldn't help but let out a laugh, "I think I brought half of the bakery with me", he handed you one of the boxes, "Do leave a bite of that strawberry tart for me. Hadn't stopped thinking about it", you only hummed in response already pulling at the lavender ribbon.

But Lucien appeared up the stairs. A bundle of light mossy green in his arms. Eris's heart stopped for a second. He couldn't move. Couldn't say anything. He just looked. Lucien was so happy. That itself could have brought Eris to tears. Gone was the broken gaze, the coldness of trauma that bound him. He was shining brightly just as Eris knew he was always meant to be.

Then, when Lucien was close enough, Eris's eyes landed on the sweetest golden eyes he had ever seen. Eyes that were staring right at him now too. Eyes that were so Vanserra-like. Eyes like Licien's. Eyes like Eris's. The strawberry blonde hair in some way held a light sheen of ginger too. Eris opened his mouth but nothing came out. Not a single word. Not a single sound. He felt your palm softly squeezing his shoulder and he quickly nodded. Not sure at what or why.

"I... I..", he muttered, turning to the bag that was to his left, "I brought her this", Eris pulled out a tiny plush fox with a golden cape, "I made this and you don't have to", "Oh Eris, dear, it so beautiful. She will love it", you said softly, eyes suddenly starting to burn from the way both of them cared for her. For how much she meant without even realizing it. How many hearts was she healing with just being here? Breathing. Growing.

Eris brushed a tear with the back of his hand quickly. "Would you like to hold her?", you asked softly, "Look at how she's looking at you", Lucien laughed softly at how the tiny babe had practically stopped blinking at the share mesmerizing daze of Eris. But the fireling quickly shook his head, "I shouldn't and it's not like...", he backed away slightly. But you could tell. Could see where the root of this decline lay. The horrible Eris Vaserra. Cunning bastard. Bloodthirsty monster. He was afraid to tarnish her. Harm her in some way.

But you weren't gonna let it happen. You gently took the babe from Lucien's arms. Bouncing her a couple of times before turning to Eris, "Hold your hands out just like Lucien just had", "Y/N, I don't think that this is the best idea", Eris muttered but you quickly frowned at him, giving him one of your looks that he by now knew meant no good. So rarely did he obey but he did.

A breath hitched in Eris's throat as the weight of the babe settled in his arms. He didn't even realize he had his eyes closed until the tangle of tiny hands reaching all around brushed his chest and Eris's eyes shot open. No, truly, he was convinced that he had never seen such beauty. Such a pure and radiant soul. The babe babbled at him. And the moment their eyes properly met the most happy gummy smile was flashed his way. Eris let out a breathy giggle. Unable to hold himself back. "Hello, little light", the fireling said softly, brushing his finger over her brow line, making the little girl squeeze her eyes at the tickly sensation.

"I said to Father that she's a little white fox - mix of our fire and day court sun", Lucien leaned closer to make a face earning a happy squeal and Eris couldn't help the swell in his chest. The way his heart seemed to grow and grow. "She is, Lu, she's just that", Eris said in agreement, not sure if he wanted to look at the babe or the way his brother had the joy of becoming an older sibling.

You let your gaze fall onto the three siblings, soaking in the beauty that true love brought them. Knowing how loved and protected the little girl was. No doubt those two alone would tear kingdoms and courts apart just for her. A shared laugh filled the room as she reached up grasping Eris's nose, grumbling happily. "A name?", the oldest Vanserra asked after letting the never stilling hand wrap around his finger, running his finger subconsciously over her tiny fist. Your eyes sparkled some more as you nodded your head, "Little Hope".

............

A court of Hope and Second Chances masterlist

[famouscyclenerd]

ANTI THIS, ANTI THAT

I think it's funny how antis love to talk about how much eluciens dislike Elain and gwynriels dislike Azriel. And then go on about how they are so pro both of them. Even though ya'll want Elain to suffer an unaccepted mating bond she'll feel for the rest of her life and rot in the Night Court when it's been mentioned several times (by both her sisters) that she would love the Spring Court. You don't want Elain and Azriel to be with their mates even though that's the ultimate happily-ever after in Sarah's books.

Let me break it down for ya'll:🕺

Some elucien's doesn't like Azriel (not Elain)

They don't like the way he thinks of her and overall believes them to be a very bad match. Some have described his actions towards Mor and Elain as "incel behaviour" for the way he thinks and speaks for them, but none of them have said the same thing applies to the way he thinks and speaks to Gwyn and others. People saying: "I just want bby Lulu to be happy" can apply to him being happy single, with his mate, with Vassa, with anyone. That's a Lucien stan, not necessary an elucien. Ya'll don't want your faves to be happy?

Some gwynriel's doesn't like Elain (not Azriel)

Mostly because she has been very passive through-out the series and don't think she's a good match for Azriel. I've seen some calling her boring, but many are open to having their minds changed. Some doesn't care about Elain, which is fine, you don't have to. We have yet to see her fully shine and she's one of the few characters that we haven't gotten a pov from.

A LOT of e/riel's doesn't like Lucien nor Gwyn

Just because they don't like him and they think Azriel is hotter. I have yet to see a (good) reason why Elain and Lucien aren't a good match. People have called Lucien and Gwyn ugly (the gollum pic for instance - even though Lucien's described as handsome and Gwyn as beautiful - another day of antis ignoring canon), making fun of them for being gingers, making fun of Gwyn for working in the library and her, as well as Luciens, SA. Mocking Lucien for having to be carried because he can't fly. Calling Gwyn forgettable even though you talk about her every single day. Speaking for Gwyn (something antis preach about how we speak for Elain and how wrong it is. Even though they speak for her when they say she still wants Azriel yet she returned the necklace - a downright rejection) about how she should not want to have sex and especially not with the freak in the sheets Azriel. How convenient.. yet, canon begs to differ.

The great thing about shipping gwynriel and elucien is that you aren't anti anyone. You can call characters out for their behaviour, but you still want them to be happy and you still like them!

P.s! If it's racist to call out Azriel's entitlement over Elain then it's racist and ableist to speak badly of Lucien too. Also, I see you! You make fun of his disability all the time and it's not cute. Hope ya'll don't do that in real life. :D

P.s.s: You can't preach about feminism while making fun of other (fictional) women simply because they threaten your ship. This also applies to indirectly calling Nesta ugly by talking about how they had to dull Elain's beauty (by putting her in a black dress lol) when that's something you came up with. Nothing in the book supports your claim. Do you even listen to Elain? When she spoke about how Nesta, at the age of fourteen, was able to seduce a duke. And that was without Elain wearing black.

[bookishwithathought]

Sassy Fox Lulu doesn’t disappoint, ever.

You know what I love about this scene and what comes after?

Lucien found out his mate, who he had never officially met, was engaged to and in love with someone else.

He wants to know if after meeting her, he should fight for a chance to be with her, to possibly put her in a position where she has to choose.

Later he does meet her but he doesn't decide that her hand is the thing worth fighting for, he decides her happiness and well being are worth fighting for.

He sees that she loves Graysen and that she's overwhelmed with sadness over the wedding that would not be taking place in a few days.

So he does not try to fight so that she might care for him instead, he does not try to "woo" her. He respects her feelings for another man.

He does however, fight for her to heal.

He fights for her mental health.

He fights for her to be happy even knowing that it's not him that she wants.

He tells them to take her to the sea, take her to some garden, to get her outside.

He asks them to have a healer look over over.

He volunteers to go on a dangerous mission proving that he sees her and believes in what she's seeing.

He does his best to help bring Elain back to life knowing full well it is not going to benefit him in the end. He's not getting something for his efforts besides knowing she'll be okay.

He fights to bring her back to life knowing she wants Graysen.

I can't think of anything more romantic than that.

[sizzlingstarlightsky]

Hello again! All that information you provided was so juicy. 👀

Now that I’m learning more about your love for Azris, let’s get into the details! 😏 We touched on this a bit with my last question, but I’m ready to really dig in! When it comes to stories, what’s your go-to mix of fluff, angst, and romance? Do you like your fics on the lighter side or do you prefer a healthy dose of emotional torment? (Or maybe a bit of both?) Remember this is for *you* so don’t be shy about being specific! 

Also, what’s your preferred rating—are we talking sweet and sfw, spicy and Mature, or going all the way to Explicit?

And, of course, I have to ask—any favorite tropes? You mentioned slow burn and enemies to lovers, but is there anything else you love? Are there any tropes you dislike? Let me know what makes your heart race or tugs at your feels the most!

Looking forward to crafting something you'll love!

Your Secret Santa 🎁✨

AHH this means I actually have to decide something 😅

I love a good mix. Lighter, fluffy, soft, heart tug moments that make me giggle at 3am. As well as emotinal tournament and character humbling. I mean it's Azris so that's self explanatory lol. I don't necessarily think about Beron but he's an asshole wherever he exists so do with him or don't.

Just some plot thickener and character development. I like happy endings in my delusion 🤭 Princess Bride esk.

I'm good with any rating you're comfortable with, and whatever the plot needs.

A slow burn with wild sex, love.

A secret fling while still wanting to kill one another, love.

A story that doesn't mention sex, love.

Really anything, unless your RuNyx. Gothikana made me viscerally angry. It was beautiful and purple and gothic and i wanted to enjoy it. I ended up enjoying hating it. I may not be a teacher/ student type person though. It was also a horribly written book with so much potential. So i cant fully judge the trope😮‍💨 I did like Ezra watching PLL 👀

I love drama. Lucien was my first favorite character. I want to drink, smoke weed, and talk shit. The chaos, the disarray, the piping hot tea- that I burn myself with everytime cause I'm impatient. GAgatha Christie 💅🏻

OH also Azriel has the sluttiest little waist and Eris is muscular, but in a

I'm not a big fan of miscommunication but if done right, or entertaining, I'd eat it up and go for seconds. For reference, I don't hate Fourth Wing. I quite like it and read THAT one scene when I want to feel pain 😇 but I pray Violet has some emotional maturity in Onyx Strom. Cause, damn. She's tiring.

I love a good coincidence or 'the universe is playing with me' vibe. And a good grumpy/ sunshine will always do it for me. Black cat & ginger cat type thing.

I'm also totally fine with staying in the acotar delusion world or traveling to an AU. I'm an alien baby, we can take in my ufo.

For tropes I don't like: uh, probably pick me, instant love unles it makes sense (looking at you RuNyx), characters not having flaws. Idk I'm usually open to most anything as long as it has a purpose.

🫶🏻❄️Love you Santa!

[lucienarcheron]

Tales of the Fox & the Fawn - X

Season I - A series of short snippets to fill my Elucien heart.

Masterlist

Team Ginger

It was early morning. The sun was peeking in, giving the room a nice light and warmth that had Lucien relaxing against his pillows, reading in bed. It was peaceful, calm, and quiet with Elain outside in her garden.

Until she burst back into the room and came bouncing on the bed. She crawled in his lap, immediately straddling him with a wide smile, and moved the book out of the way.

“Hi.” She greeted Lucien, leaning in to kiss him and he smiled amusingly.

“Hi. Something exciting happen?”

“Yes!” She practically squealed. “Guess what I found in the garden?”

Lucien’s brow furrowed and he held back a laugh. “I’m going to go with a wild and unpredictable guess and say, flowers?”

She swatted him gently then bounced again excitedly.

“No! Guess again!”

“With the way you’re bouncing in my lap, bunny, it’s a little difficult to think of anything.”

She rolled her eyes but stopped then grabbed his face and brought it close to hers. “Guess again!”

“Did you find an actual bunny? Because I’m not going to get attached to one and then Cassian will just take it from us again.” Lucien complained and Elain laughed.

“No, but close!”

He pursed his lips and squinted. “Is it another animal?”

“Yes.”

“If you’re using this moment to join in on the fox jokes that everyone else keeps using –”

“No, no not a fox!” she said with a laugh, cutting him off. “I wouldn’t do that!”

“Smart answer.” he replied and flicked her nose. “Then what is it?”

“A kitty!” She said with a squeal. “I found it hiding in one of the bushes! The poor baby is so small and was shivering! And oh, I just had to take her in, Lucien. We have to take her in!”

Elain gave him her best pout, eyes wide in a pleading look and he snorted.

“You already seem to have adopted the kitten. I don’t see why you’re concerned about whether I’d agree or not.” he replied playfully and Elain lowered her gaze, the pout still there.

“I understand if you don’t want the kitty. I’ll just leave it out on the street where it’ll probably starve to death and be unloved and lonely and –”

Lucien put a finger to her lips, silencing her with an exasperated look.

“You don’t have to guilt me. I am more than happy for us to adopt this kitten if you really want to.” he said with a chuckle. Elain squealed in delight, giving him a quick kiss then slipping off him and dragging him off the bed.

“Then come meet her! She’s so cute!”

Lucien stumbled after his overly excited wife as they made their way to the kitchen and his eyes fell on the little furball curled up on the counter. He blinked.

“A ginger cat?”

Elain beamed.

“A ginger cat?”

“I know! It’s fate, isn’t it?” Elain replied with a laugh, scooping up the small kitten and handing her over to Lucien. “What should we name her?”

“If you say Ginger, I’ll start screaming.” Lucien immediately responded and Elain laughed again.

“I was thinking Buttercup. Or Butterscotch. Or oh! Tigger?”

“Let’s call her Nacho.” he replied with a grin and Elain shot him a look.

“No. It has to be a sweet name! Because she’s a sweet little kitty!” Elain cooed, a finger rubbing behind the kitten’s ear. The small kitten purred and then met eyes with Lucien who squinted.

“Carrot?” he offered and chuckled when Elain glared at him.

“No!”

“Okay. Tangerine?” he offered again and Elain swatted him, causing him to laugh and the small kitten to meow. “See? She likes it.”

“Those are not cute names!”

“What about Peaches? Or Mango?”

“Are you hungry, Lucien? Because that’s your only excuse for these names.”

He laughed again then looked down at the kitten who was looking up at him. “What should we name you then?”

“How about Blossom?”

“Oh, flowers are fine but food is where you draw the line?”

“Flowers are always fine.” she said firmly, pointing a finger at him in warning and he sniggered.

“Okay okay…how about Cinnamon?”

Elain pursed her lips then lowered herself to meet eye-to-eye with the kitten. “How about that, Cinnamon? Is that a name you like?”

The small kitten gave a soft meow and extended a paw to Elain and she squealed, taking the paw.

“It’s settled then.” Lucien said with a chuckle, then held Cinnamon up. “Welcome to the Archeron-Vanserra household. Behave yourself and only pee on Cassian when you see him.”

Elain snorted, nudging him lightly. “You really want Cassian to be the first to meet Cinnamon?”

“Actually, I want Cinnamon to stay as far away from him as possible. I will not let him steal this pet too!” Lucien grumbled and Elain giggled.

“Fair enough…we should go shopping later and get some things to settle her in.” she said, her eyes gleaming. “I’m going to get her some milk.”

Lucien nodded and watched as Elain excitedly bounced around the kitchen then held the kitten up to eye level, squinting at her.

“Just so we’re clear,” he began in a soft voice. “There is a hierarchy among the gingers in this household. You’re cute and all but second place is all I’m offering.”

The kitten only meowed in response and Lucien nodded.

“Glad we are in agreement."

[sunshinebingo]

Totally Spies (Valkyries) Chapter 22

@emeriethevalkyriegirl @aelinchocolatelover

Read on Ao3

The time for the different trainings of Saturday had to be adjusted. The reason was that it was important for Team Night to have a talk with Lucien Vanserra. And wherever Team Night went, three girls trailed behind them. More often than not, a kitten was also present. Little Shadow’s name seemed to suit him more than just being about his dark fur.

Since Lucien was not really a suspect, they asked him to meet them in one of the training rooms where weapons were tested and used for practice. The boys realised that this was probably not the smartest decision when they entered the room and Emerie, Nesta and Gwyn started pestering them about trying some weapons.

“These are real weapons not carnival guns. Now sit down and shut up until we are done,” Azriel had scolded them.

They had agreed to sit and watch Jurian and Vassa practice shooting while the boys talked with the last member of Team Exile in the corner of the room.

“The shard has always seemed ordinary to me,” Lucien explained casually. “I gave this to Elain a few months ago as a gift.”

Rhysand has told Lucien about the presence of the suspicious jasper shard found at the bakery. “Elain told me it has been acting weird for a few days before the events at the bakery. It’s like it was glowing. We were suppose to meet there on the day the girls said they found it. Elain intended to show me but I was running late and she somehow forgot it among the ruins when she went inside to see the bakery for herself.”

“That explains how the first team did not see the shard there,” Cassian said more to himself.

Behind them, the girls were letting out loud cheers of excitement as they watched Jurian and Vassa attempt to shoot more targets than their partner. Apparently, the group has divided into 2; Nesta and Emerie were on Jurian’s side while Gwyn was supporting a fellow redhead.

“Come on Vassa, make him eat dirt,” Gwyn said loudly behind the safety glass of the shooting area.

“These girls are feral,” Lucien laughed. Azriel sighed and mumbled “you have no idea.”

Rhysand proceeded to tell Lucien about the similarities between the events at the antique shop and the bakery. “Apart from the shard and the explosion, we found the residue of some similar substances on the site. I think whoever did it intended to drug the person present there like they did at the antique shop but fortunately no one was present at the bakery when it happened.”

“YEEES, in your face Gwynie,” Emerie shouted when Jurian hit the bullseye on his next target.

“HEY TONE IT DOWN,” Cassian shouted back at them.

“Wait a minute,” Lucien furrowed his brows as he thought for a moment. “I don’t know what exactly it could mean to you but I remember hearing my father saying once that a jewel from the family collection was safe in an antique piece.”

“You think that another shard could have been hidden in one of the antique ob- ” Azriel winced when Cassian interrupted him with hard slap on the back.

“That would explain why several antique shops have been robbed,” Cassian said with wide eyes.

“You’re right,” Rhysand added.

They kept talking to Lucien for a while longer, thanking him for his help and promising that they would come back to him if they need more information about the precious jasper shards of the Vanserra family.

Nesta, Gwyn and Emerie were so invested in watching Jurian and Vassa train that the boys relented and let them stay for a while longer. Nesta and Emerie were less happy in the end when Vassa won and she started running around the room with Gwyn on her back.

“You should join our team some time for a game night in our dorm,” Lucien proposed.

Rhysand snickered, “Good. You can get them off our backs for a while.” He laughed when Emerie punched his arm.

Lucien grinned. “Don’t be jealous Rhys you are invited too.”

Vassa placed a hand around Gwyn’s shoulders. “Gwyn you should team up with Lucien and I. We’ll be team Ginger.” Lucien smiled at that and high-fived Gwyn and his teammate.

“I’m sure the redheads will crush the competition,” Gwyn grinned.

Everyone sighed but it was Jurian who said with an exaggerated eye roll, “gods help us all.”

[tswaney17]

Give Me Love

This fic has been one of my favorites to write for @elriel-month. It really let me get into Az's angsty mind and I loved getting to explore that part of him. The whole fic is inspired by Ed Sheeran's song, Give Me Love. I recommend listening to it while reading for the full experience. I wrote it while having it on repeat. 😘 Please enjoy! 💙💜💚

My fanfic account: @tswaney17fics​​​

My ao3 account: tswaney17

Please let me know what you think about this update. I love getting your feedback. Constructive criticism is always welcome. 💕

Trigger warnings: language, very light adult descriptions

Word Count: 3,172

Family dinners.

Normally he didn’t mind them. Enjoyed them.

But now he dreaded them. Used alcohol to get through them.

Tonight though…tonight he hated them. He hated having to sit there and smell that bond. To scent that tether between the Autumn Court male and the female who so thoroughly had captured the icy heart of Night Court’s spymaster. To see it as a weak piece of twine—a ribbon if you will—between them, hooked to a rib in her chest, dully glowing. Muted until she eventually fell for him and accepted the bond and it turned into something thicker, stronger.

Gods, he fucking hated ribbons.

It was inevitable, he had told himself over and over again. She would eventually find happiness with Lucien and Azriel would learn to live with it. He’d have to learn to live with it. He had no other choice; not with his High Lord’s order bearing down on him every time he looked at her for too long. With every longing glance, every pitiful wish that it was him she was bonded to—even though he had done nothing to deserve it. Azriel was well aware of the fact that he was unworthy of Elain Archeron.

But who the fuck was? Certainly not the ginger prince sitting across the table.

He hated gingers too.

The Cauldron-blessed Seer. The rightful heir to the title, Kingslayer, though he knew it was not one she desired to have bestowed upon her. The fawn, bringer of light, a grower of life and of beauty around her. Lovely, beautiful, gentle, kind, Elain. His polar opposite in every way.

Perhaps that was why he fell for her so hard and so fast. She burned so brightly and fuck did he want to drown in her light. In his nearly six centuries, Azriel had come to the conclusion that it was lonely with darkness as your only companion. He was tired of it. Tired of being held down and restrained to fit his court, his brother’s demands. Tired of living in his darkness and melancholy.

Rhys found his happiness and fought for it.

Cassian found his and fought for it.

But when Az tried to fight for his, it was snatched away. Like every other good thing in his life. He should be used to the disappointment by now, but when it came from somebody he loved, he trusted, it stung that much more.

He shot back the rest of his whiskey with every intention of leaving just as Elain breezed in from the kitchen, a tray of baked goods in her hands.

She looked stunning in her rose-colored dress—no sign of the cobalt or deep blues he loved to see on her since Solstice. Tonight, she had all of her hair pulled up, letting the tail swish as she walked. A few strands fell around her face, framing the delicate features of her cheekbones, her brows, enhancing her straight nose and pert, delectable mouth that he very nearly kissed months ago.

Azriel nearly groaned with need when he first saw her. The hairstyle gave him a full view of her perfect neck, the one he stroked as he put that godforsaken necklace on her.

He immediately regretted giving it away and returned to Clotho the next day requesting it back. He had no desire to let Gwyn or any other priestess have that necklace. It was Elain’s and always would be. The idea of it sitting around some other female’s neck made his stomach turn with nausea. He was grateful to have gotten it returned; likely would’ve yanked it right off the neck of whoever was wearing it if he ever saw it on somebody else.

Clotho had smirked at him the next afternoon, simply writing on that piece of paper that she had kept it safe for his return, knowing he would likely be back for it.

Az still thought about that night with Elain—about how her skin felt when he touched her. How she sounded as his fingers swept over her. He was ashamed to think about how often he now fisted his cock to those thoughts. To the scent of her arousal that he now had first-hand knowledge of what it smelt like. That sweetness he desperately wanted to taste.

If she knew, he thought to himself.

Almost as if she heard him, her brown eyes flicked towards him. To anyone else, they’d see a blank expression on her face. But they could always read each other so much better than the others could. And he saw that underlining hurt still lined those doe-eyes he loved so much.

She looked away, sitting down next to Mor and as far away from Lucien as she could possibly get.

One day, he reminded himself. One day she would love her mate and that would be that.

He needed to leave. Maybe he could get in a late-night training session atop the House of Wind. Hopefully alone this time. Rising from his chair, he turned to his High Lord and Lady. “I’m heading out. I have things I need to take care of,” Az lied smoothly. He glanced at her; forced her to look at him. “Dinner was delicious, Elain, as always.” It was a bland acknowledgment, but he meant every word. Every damn word.

Her cheeks turned an adorable shade of red, but she nodded all the same. “Thank you.”

It was two of twenty-four words she had said to him since Solstice. Not that he was counting. He collected those little spoken treasures like precious gems. Locking them away in a dark part of his heart. He gave her a curt nod before excusing himself and hastily making a retreat to the front door.

Azriel was barely to the street when he heard the footsteps behind him. The summer rain was starting to sprinkle down on him, dampening his tunic and souring his already piss-poor mood.  

“Hey!” came Elain’s voice.

He whirled, eyes wide as he watched her run towards him. His heart beat frantically in his chest.

Elain reached him, dress skirts swishing, breathing heavily like she bolted from the house and ran as fast as she could to catch him before he shot into the sky. “Where are you going?” she finally asked.

Az raised a brow. “I’m going home.” Had he not been clear enough?

She blinked up at him as something passed over her face. Something he couldn’t quite interpret. “Why?”

The question caught him off guard. Why what? Why was he leaving? Why did he leave that night? Why did he call her a mistake? Why did he fuck up the only good thing in his life? There were many possibilities for what she was asking, so he went with the safest option.

“I told you, I have things I need to get done—”

“No,” she interrupted. “Why are you leaving dinner? Why can you barely stand to be in the same room as me?” she huffed out a small breath. “Why did you leave me that night? What’s the real reason? Stop with the bullshit excuses and tell me.” She was angry.

Good. He deserved her anger.

He just stared at her, hazel eyes flicking over her face. Before he could begin to form a response, the Mother opened up the gates of heaven, and rain emptied from the sky in drenching downpours. They were soaked instantly, though Elain didn’t seem to care as she stood there, hair and ponytail matted to her neck; the dress clung to all of her sinful curves. He extended a wing out to shield her from the onslaught of Mother Nature, but she was having none of that, shooting a hand out and pressing it to the inside of the sensitive membrane, shoving it away. He hissed at the contact, feeling it all the way to his cock.

“No,” she snarled. “You don’t get to do this to me. You don’t get to pull what you did on Solstice, call me a mistake, then avoid me for months without so much as an explanation, then try and cover me with your wing as if you care about my well-being. That’s not fair, Azriel, and you know it.”

He froze, body locking at his name on her lips. She had never said his name before. Never uttered the syllables, at least not in his presence. And gods, he never wanted her to stop saying it, would get on his knees and beg her to speak his name over and over again. Whisper it, scream it, moan it. Anything.

“Are you just going to stand there?” she demanded, drenched.

Az swallowed. “Say it again, please,” he breathed, barely loud enough for her to hear over the heavy rainfall.

Elain crossed her arms, emphasizing her ample bosom. “Tell me the truth and I will.”

He groaned, running a scarred hand through his shaggy, sopping hair, droplets flying everywhere as it flopped back onto his forehead. “I do care about you, don’t ever think that I don’t.” He needed her to know that, first and foremost. “And I didn’t want to leave, Elain. Fuck there are several things I wanted to do that night,” he looked at her earnestly, “but leaving you wasn’t one of them.”

Her lips turned down into a frown. “Then why did you?”

His order weighed on him; gripped him by the neck to hold him in compliance. He knew if Elain were to guess it, then it held no sway over him, but until she did, he was duty-bound to it. “I was forced,” he choked out.

Those intelligent eyes widened. The ones that saw things others couldn’t—like him but in a different way. “Forced?” her voice was a hushed whisper. “By who?”

He gave her a knowing look. One that asked her who had the power to control and manipulate him, them, like this.

It didn’t take her long to draw a conclusion. “Rhys,” she breathed. “Rhys commanded you away.”

And just like that, his order vanished, like a weight was lifted off his chest. Azriel took a gasping breath, scarred hand going straight to his sternum and rubbing at it.

Elain stepped closer, concerned. She reached out, as if she were going to touch him but thought better of it and curled her fists into her chest. “What’s wrong?”

Deep breaths whooshed in and out of him. Free. He was finally fucking free. Tears sprang into his eyes, falling off his cheeks like paint splatters on his tunic as he looked at her like she was everything the world revolved around.

Because in his life, in his world, everything did revolve around her. She was the center of his axis, his gravity keeping him tethered to this planet. He took a step towards her as if to pull her into his arms, but Elain countered with a step back, splashing into a puddle.  

Her pained expression was like a knife to his heart. “Don’t, please. You still need to tell me everything first.”

He nodded in understanding. This was it. When he laid everything out for her and let her decide whether she washed her hands of him or if she decided he was worth taking a chance on. He had to clear away the emotion clogging his throat. “I wanted to kiss you, Elain. I wanted to do so many things to you that night. Such wonderful, pleasurable things that you’d think about me, feel me for days afterward.”

She sucked in a sharp breath but didn’t interrupt.

“But Rhys caught us and pulled me up to his office. I’m not going to get into the nitty-gritty details of that exchange because they aren’t worth repeating, but he ordered me to stay away from you, Elain. Threatened me.” Rain sloshed down, soaking him to the bone. He could see her starting to shiver even though it was a summer storm, the temperature cooling off enough to make her lips turn from the lushest pink to tinged with blue.

“If there is one thing you should know about being a part of Rhys’s inner circle is that you are duty-bound first. You take a vow to him and this court. So, when he laid down that order on me, it physically gripped me, Elain. I swear I couldn’t tell you what he did or it would—it would…” he stuttered, unable to get the words out.

But she didn’t need him to finish. “It would’ve killed you.” For the first time in months, since Solstice, Elain looked at him, not with bland indifference or hurt, but anguish. “Why would he do that to you? To us?” she asked, brow furrowed. Her arms wrapped around herself and he wasn’t sure if it was for comfort or warmth.

He didn’t dare offer his wing again; didn’t think he’d be able to handle her touching it a second time. “Rhys has some political agenda going on that he believes your mating bond will likely cause an issue for. Lucien, as a son of the Autumn Court, has a right to call in what’s known as a Blood Duel.”

“I’ve heard it mentioned in passing but nobody will tell me what that is,” she said, frustrated.

His face softened. “It’s a barbaric tradition only recognized by them, but it’s when one of them demands a fight to the death over something they believe is theirs.”

In the little time he had known Elain, he had seen very little of her temperament. She’d shown small outbursts to Nesta during their spats, but right now, the utter wrath that took over her face was a force to be reckoned with. “How fucking dare they!” she screamed.

Azriel’s brows shot into his hairline at her swearing.

“I am not some toy to be fought over! I am a person! I have a choice! Why don’t they care?” she cried, face falling into the cradle of her palms.

He moved then, slowly to not startle her, and gently laid a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him, tear-stained tracks disappearing in with the rain. “I care, Elain. You will always have a choice.”

“Even if it’s you?” she whispered, blinking up at him. Water clung to her full lashes; danced on her lips now blue from the cold.

Az was not a good male. Had done unspeakable things and sullied his hands that would taint her sacrilege essence. He would’ve fought in his corner for her, but that did not diminish the fact that he did not deserve her. “You could do better than me,” he breathed even as it cracked his very being.

Elain frowned, a dimple forming at the corner of her mouth. “That’s not what I asked,” she argued. Her hand shot out and gripped the front of his tunic, wrinkling the fabric in her fist. “You said I would always have a choice. I asked even if it was with you? If you believe this is truly a mistake, then leave. Be done with me and leave. But don’t you dare say you aren’t worthy of my time and affection, Azriel. Because you aren’t allowed to make that decision. Only I am.”

His name from her lips a second time had him moving before he could stop himself as he cupped her face with his large, scarred palms and kissed her.

Elain melted into him, falling further into his broad chest, her fist holding onto his tunic for dear life like she was afraid if she let go, he’d slip away.

But like hell was he going anywhere. Not as he molded his lips to hers, traced his tongue at the seam asking for entry, and, praise the Mother, was he granted access. He swept in, claiming her in a way he didn’t think she had ever experienced before. Fuck, he hoped she had never experienced it before. Az had no idea how far she had gotten with her prick of an ex-fiancé, but he knew enough about human traditions and human men that it was inadequate to what he would do for her.

Her body shivered against him as she clutched him, hands sliding over his muscled chest, up the strong column of his throat until she could bury her delicate fingers into his dark mop of drenched hair.

Azriel shifted his wings, cocooning them in his warmth as his mouth dragged down her jaw, tilting her head back to expose the skin of her neck. Hands sliding down her body, he tugged her against him by her hips, letting her feel just how much he wanted her, wanted this. His lips found that pounding pulse point, felt it fluttering when he lightly kissed it, scraped his teeth over it.

“Az,” she lightly moaned, dropping her head back even further, giving him more.

Her moaning his name was the best sound he had ever heard in his entire life. He groaned into her skin; worshipped everything she offered him with his lips, teeth, and tongue.

Fuck, she had no idea what kind of vulnerability it was to give someone that much access to their neck. He nuzzled into the juncture of it, breathing in the heady scent of her arousal.

“Please, Azriel. Please get me out of here,” she mumbled, eyes screwed shut in pleasure. She gripped his shoulders, clinging to him.

“What about the others?” he managed to ask, head still slightly on right.

“I’ve feigned a headache. They won’t expect me back at dinner.” She looked up at him, her brown irises swallowed by pupils in lust. Reaching up, she cupped his cheek and let him lean into her touch. “Please, Azriel. I want this. I choose you.”

He made some pathetic choking sound, tears filling his eyes. “I choose you, too,” he whispered, kissing her palm. They stood staring at each other, sequestered inside his wings, his warmth, his scent. “I don’t know what to do from here,” he admitted.

She smiled softly. “Give me love, Azriel. Give me your love and then we’ll figure out the rest.”

“You already have it,” he told her. “Always.”

Rising on her tiptoes, Elain kissed him again, like all she wanted was the taste his lips allowed.

He was more than happy to oblige her and only pulled away to ask her a question that had been plaguing him since she had done it earlier. The corner of his mouth curled up. “Have either of your sisters told you what putting your hands on an Illyrian male’s wings does to them and why they don’t allow people to touch them?”

Elain’s face turned a lovely shade of pink, likely remembering how she did touch his wings just a few minutes ago. “No, I don’t believe so.”

That half-smile turned into a full, feral grin. “Well, you’re about to find out.” Without another word, he hauled her wet form into his arms—Elain squealing in delight—and shot them into the sky.

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[bookishwithathought]

Lucien believed Jesminda was his mate. He believed strongly he’d found the highest form of love, a mating bond with someone he actually cared for and who reciprocated those same affections. That was the highest standard of love for the High Fae, and he’d been blessed to have it.

With her tragic and horrific death, Lucien believed he had lost his greatest love. That was it for him. No other love would compare or measure up. He grieved a love, a bond and a mate. That’s an unimaginable pain, but he moved forward with life believing he’d never get to experience this kind of love or connection again.

Time (Decades? Centuries? I forget.) went by, and then:

Friends, his voice broke. Because for so long he thought his one mate was gone. Because he’d grieved the loss of the bond. Because he realized his one possibility of a mate’s love had not been buried with the female he loved, whose torture and execution he was forced to witness, as he thought it’d been. Because something so potentially beautiful as the mating bond holds such horrific trauma for him.

So no, Lucien WHISPERING (not yelling) to Elain that she’s his mate is not a claiming, a possessing. It is heartbreak, shock, surprise, grief, tainted hope and cautious understanding.

I refuse to believe SJM would then turn around and give this character a rejected bond and make him settle for something other. Because no matter what, it would be a lesser love for Lucien and he certainly doesn’t deserve that.

It’s the highest standard or nothing for our sassy fox 🦊

[vulpes-fennec]

Pumpkin Fields Forever (Part 3) 🎃

Summary: The Harvest Festival saga continues as Elain and Lucien finally have a conversation longer than 5 minutes and begin to ~see~ each other. 

TW: Mentions of violence/gore

“Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. It’s getting hard to be someone but it all works out, it doesn’t matter much to me”

Read: Part 1 | Part 2 | AO3

Elain had made a beeline for the apple cider booth after the corn maze. She was parched, and hungry. Lucien had wordlessly stepped in front of her to pay for the drinks, but Elain silently muscled him out of the way. She would sooner rip her daisies out of the ground than be indebted to him. Allowing Lucien to pay was also too close to courting, and she would not allow their interactions to cross that line today.

In the end, neither of them won. The vendor recognized Elain as Feyre’s sister, giving them the ciders free of charge and adding sweet rice cakes on the house. Elain forced down her annoyance and thanked the vendor for his generosity.  

Elain hesitated when it came to picking up the food. What if I accidentally accept the mating bond by casually passing food to Lucien? She hesitated so long that Lucien ended up putting the refreshments on a tray himself.

Elain managed to pay for two slices of pumpkin pie at another booth, adding them to Lucien’s tray. Her gaze lingered on a delicious-looking pear crumble, but she decided to walk on. The two silently settled in a small table under an orange and yellow-leaved oak. 

“Wait here,” were Lucien’s first words to her in a while. Elain stared at Lucien’s retreating back, confused. I just want to eat. Does he really trust me to just stay here? Because there’s nothing stopping me from leaving…Elain glanced around, noting how everybody at the Harvest Festival was in an easy, happy mood. She seemed to be the only one who was a ball of nervous energy.  

He returned in less than five minutes. Elain’s eyes widened eagerly: Lucien had gotten the pear crumble from the pastry booth earlier. “I saw you were eyeing these…” he trailed off, tan face darkening with blush when she looked up at him. 

“Thank you,” Elain mumbled, mindful of her fingers when she took the bowl from him. He took the extra effort just for me. Elain didn’t know how to feel about it. She felt touched by the gesture, but…perhaps he was only motivated by the mating instincts to provide for her. 

Every item was perfectly spiced and sweetened, cooked to perfection. It was agonizing to be eating the food in silence, when all Elain wanted to do was comment on the dishes. She could’ve sworn Lucien smiled a bit when she inhaled the pear crumble, washing it down with a gulp of hot apple cider. 

She would have to recreate this masterpiece in the kitchen next week. Ginger seemed to be the special warming ingredient, and maybe even cinnamon…

“You didn’t like it when Daniela’s mother referred to you as Feyre’s sister. Or when the vendor gave us free food after recognizing you as an Archeron.” 

Elain blinked slowly, looking up from her rice cakes. “There’s nothing wrong with being an Archeron,” she replied neutrally. 

Lucien arched an eyebrow. “Does disliking special treatment make you feel ashamed? Because you’re worried it’ll come off as ungrateful?” 

Elain squirmed with discomfort. “Are you asking me or are you speculating?” 

“I think you feel bad because you’ve relied on Feyre your whole life.” Lucien’s gold eye focused on her with a whirr. “You’re struggling to break out of that cycle, am I right?”

“Is this interrogation happening because I didn’t let you pay?” Elain stabbed her rice cake with a little extra force. She regretted eating the pear crumble now. He must’ve given me it to butter me up, she thought with dismay. 

“Let you pay? With what money?” Lucien chuckled. Elain seethed at his taunt, his foxy countenance. She couldn’t recall the last time she’d been so annoyed at an attractive male. Men and males—especially handsome ones—tended to be agreeable with her.

“Fine. I may not have an official job.” Saying it out loud cemented how she didn’t have a major role at the Night Court, no matter how many charities she worked or parties she planned. Elain hated it.

Lucien has a bigger role than me and he’s hardly here. That’s not fair. She found a way to retort, and proceeded to use it. “But Rhys and Feyre pay you, so you’re relying on Feyre too, aren’t you?” 

That seemed to knock Lucien down a few pegs, but he recovered quickly. “It seems my lady and I agree on one thing: we don’t like being on the Night Court’s payroll. But the difference between you and me—” he leaned closer, his scent and smirk making Elain’s head spin “—is that I don’t pretend to enjoy it.”

Elain felt like a deer staring at a notched arrow. She’d spent less than a whole day with this male over the last few years, yet he’d already identified something she kept hidden from everybody else. This is precisely why I don’t want to spend time with him. He’ll be running once he knows my horrible thoughts. “You can’t just peek into the bond—” 

“You hardly send anything down the bond,” Lucien replied dryly. “Everything I’ve said has been the product of my prior knowledge and current observations.” 

Elain glowered at him as she took a sip of her cider. So he HAS been reading me like the emissary he is. That is hardly any more reassuring than knowing he isn’t using the bond. “Well, congratulations,” she said sarcastically. “You are correct. I don’t like it when people treat me differently because of my sisters.” 

Lucien clenched his jaw slightly at her tone. “I take no happiness in your misery, my lady.” 

A small silence passed, with Elain struggling to get ahold of herself while Lucien slowly munched his pie. “Speaking of the…the bond. You send things to me.” 

Lucien froze mid-bite. He set down his spoon apprehensively. “When? What did I send?”  

“It wasn’t very often. When you t-tugged on it? In the townhouse. And during the Solstice, I felt you were…disappointed.” The words were sludge in her throat. Speaking them into existence meant acknowledging that she played a part in that disappointment when she spurned his gift. “And today, twice. At the petting zoo.” 

“Ah. I’m sorry.” Lucien’s eyes flicked down, avoiding Elain. “I try to keep things to myself but it looks like some things have slipped through.” 

Hiding his emotions must be a massive mental strain. Elain understood the strain all too well. But if I let him relax his hold, then the constant connection would remind me of the bond waiting to be addressed. 

Lucien is a permanent fixture for the rest of my immortal life…does he even WANT such responsibility? Would he want me if the bond did not exist?

“You come out swinging while I’m trying to enjoy some dessert,” Elain huffed, trying to break the awkwardness. “My turn. How did you lose your eye? And why are you ashamed of it?” 

“I’m not ashamed of it,” he replied defensively. “I just…I know it’s intimidating to look at. I used to be quite the handsome male, you know.” He smirked again at Elain, waiting for her reaction. 

Elain only blinked at him with an expression of neutrality. She bit the urge to tell him he was still good-looking. “So you’re self-conscious,” she supplied instead. 

Lucien shrugged. “I had a mask stuck to my face for 49 years.” He paused, glancing down at his hands. “Seeing how old friends looked at my new face differently, how children shrank back in fear…that was why I glamoured myself around Daniela. I’m still self-conscious around new people.” 

“You didn’t glamour yourself when you met me,” Elain pointed out. 

Lucien’s russet eye flicked towards her. “You’d already seen me at Hybern.” His voice quiet at the horrible memory. “But you did look at me differently with the glamour. So if you prefer me to keep it on—”

“No,” Elain said sharply. “No. I’d prefer it if you appeared to me…as you are.” Lucien’s face was hesitantly relieved at her admission. 

Perhaps her acceptance of his face was what prompted him to ask, “You know who Amarantha is, right?” 

She nodded. The Hybern general who trapped all the High Lords, who assaulted Rhys for 50 years, who killed Feyre and Clare Beddor. “Well, Tam wanted me to deliver a message as emissary. A rejection of her romantic advances wrapped up in a political package and let’s just say that the witch did not take it well. Her sheer entitlement and cruelty reminded me of my father, Beron…I lost my temper and told her to go back to the shit-hole she crawled out of.” 

If Lucien’s use of coarse language bothered Elain, she didn’t show it. “And then what?” she breathed. 

“Amarantha did not take that well, either. One minute I was standing in front of her, the next I was on the ground, unable to see out of my left eye.” Lucien grimaced, and his metal eye stuttered in distress. “With my right eye, I saw her holding what remained of my left one. She swiftly crushed it under her boot.” The image of such violence shook Elain to her core. 

Lucien shuddered, paling visibly. It took all of Elain’s self-control to not reach for his hand, to steady the rapid thump-thump-thumping of his heart. He continued. “I staggered out of the room, blood pouring down my face. I managed to winnow back to Tam’s manor before passing out…and when I came to, I realized that no amount of Fae healing could remake an eye. Or heal the scar she’d left on my face. That was how deeply she raked her poisoned nails into me.” 

Elain felt sick. Feyre’s right, she thought angrily. Amarantha did not suffer enough. For what she did to everybody. What she did to Lucien. He didn’t deserve any of it. 

A roaring sound arose in her ears. “I hope she’s rotting in hell,” she muttered with deadly venom. A desire for vengeance turned her normally soft eyes into hardened stone. Lucien’s gold eye whirred and spun while his russet one regarded her unflinchingly. 

“I’ve upset you.” His gentle voice reminded Elain’s instincts that he was alive, that he was safe from any danger. She blinked, realizing she was breathing hard and gripping her fork with a clenched fist.

It was a moment before she could speak again. “I’m not upset at you…just upset because you feel the need to hide it,” Elain said quietly. “If people knew what you’d been through…how you survived…they would recognize your bravery like Daniela’s father.” 

She meant every word of it. Even though the logical part of her brain was telling her to stop engaging with Lucien, the softer side of her wanted to comfort him, to gently trace his scar and take away the pain he felt over his looks.

This isn’t real, she told herself. It’s the bond, making you feel this way. Right?

“Thank you, my lady.” Lucien hesitantly touched her hand on the table, sending a thrill through Elain. His broad palm was warm in the autumn chill. “Your words mean a lot to me.” 

Elain nodded, throat closing up. If they were having a heart-to-heart now, perhaps she could ask him about things like her father’s final days or Lucien’s experiences living in the human lands.

But Lucien seemed to have other things in mind. He’d shrugged off the somber mood with a wry grin and stood up. “No more moping about my past. How does a carnival game sound?” 

Read: Part 4

**I bought some pears and I’ve been thinking of making a pear crumble dessert because fall baking is Eluciencore 🍐// Also the title is a play on “Strawberry Fields Forever” because the lyrics are major Elucien angst**

[viennasneverland]

I remeber when someone wrote that fic about Elain being completly awful to Gwyn and Emerie and criticizing Nesta for being their friends and saying disgusting things about the ginger and then I reread that one scene in acosf where she says she was so happy Nesta had a pourpose and something to focus instead of being mad and angry all the time

And this just shows how diferent from this selfish and cruel character yall created in your mind Elain's character trully is

In your minds you believe she avoids and ignored Lucien cause she wants to hurt/manipulate him // In canon, she avoids him cause he reminds her of the worst moment in her life and, above all, he reminds her her choices were taken away from her all at the same time

In your minds she had gone to HoW to botter Nesta and be mean // in canon she had gone to explain no one wanted her bad, they just wanted her to snap out of that fucking shitty hole she was in because she and Feyre loved her. She wanted to make sure Nesta was doing ok cause, even not eantibg to be there,she had things she likes in the library and a new routine in a good house with good company

In your minds she's a villain pretending to be good and kind so she would stab everyone in the back // in canon she's a quiet, shy and loving character who does is capable of stab someone in the back, but only if this person is about to hurt someone she loves

In your minds she's a selfish and naive person who abused Feyre's good will // in canon she is the person who took care of Feyre the most (still isn't enought but now she's walking the right way) in her previous life by buying paints, helping her to get food and a horse to come back to prythian safe, giving the house to reunite the Queens and the Bat Boys cause "Feyre gaved so much, let's now help her", who was there for Feyre in her pregnancy and even loving Nesta she warned her to not upset Feyre cause she was happy

Yeah, we don't know her mind very well yet, but those little hints about her do exist and you just ignore

So can yall please leave the girl alone? She had done literally nothing bad (we can still blame her from when she was a KID and let her younger sister go hunt to feed them, but as I said she was the first to regret and admit her mistake and try to FIX IT). The only reasonS you hate Elain are the headcanons you created in your mind

[nikethestatue]

Forbidden

Elriel Month - Day 4, Forbidden

Pining, a little bit fluffy, a little bit angsty and plenty of Nyx if you like him

The weather was miserable, and Azriel was miserable as well.

After finishing his work at his office in the city, he would’ve typically walked, but the freezing sleet that bombarded his wings didn’t inspire walking. His mood only worsened the moment he stepped out of the building, and he found himself hating everything. Hating himself, for being a coward, hating Rhys, hating the completely innocent Cassian and Nesta, who were absolutely gracious towards him, and allowed him to remain living in, what was technically, their house now. He rose swiftly in the air, flying towards the red stone monstrosity that was carved into the mountain, while the cold rain pelted his already-freezing wings. Everything was freezing. He could’ve thrown a shield over himself, like a smart male, but he wasn’t being very smart lately. He just didn’t fucking care.

Petulant and morose, he wondered for a millionth time when and why everything went wrong for him? Why was it that the thing he loved and relished the most in his life—his family—were now the cause of his greatest despair? How could his brother, the brother who gave him his new life, who cared for and protected him, who did not judge him and gave him the opportunity to live the life Azriel wanted, who paid him generously and allowed him the freedom to operate as he saw fit—how did this brother suddenly became the impediment to Azriel’s happiness? The brother that Azriel loved and admired now outright forbade Azriel’s happiness. And over what? The ginger princeling that Azriel didn’t care for at all…as he didn’t care for the entire family. He had to sacrifice his happiness to please a Vanserra! The mere thought of it enraged him so intensely, he almost crashed into a roof. As he banked to avoid the green tiles slick with rain, he wondered if Lucien would act as honorably if the roles were reversed? Would he maintain his composure like Azriel always tried to do in Lucien’s presence? Would he fly him in his arms? (Truly, a rather horrifying memory, if Azriel had to admit. Carrying fucking Lucien Vanserra in his arms, like a babe. Like he’d carry Elain. Or even Feyre. He was forced to cradle Lucien!). Would he avoid Elain?

Elain.

Azriel wanted Elain. He always wanted her—wanted her giggly laugh, the sparkle of her caramel eyes, the flip of the braid, the surprisingly firm touch of her calloused fingers, the scent of her, the rosy blush of her cheeks. Even though he was forbidden from courting her, or pursuing her in any fashion, they still came together at family gatherings and Azriel learned of her sharp, sometimes brutal sense of humour, of her inquisitiveness, and of things that surprised him. She let it slip that she wanted to travel, wanted to see the world, the continent, all the Courts. Wanted to eat exotic foods and go to museums and botanic gardens and drink coffee in small cafes. She told him that she dreamed of going to the beach and lazing around in the white sand.

Fuck it.

Tonight, he wanted Elain. He wanted to see her with a desperation that almost hurt his bones. Even if for a few moments. Maybe just at dinnertime, under Rhys’s annoying scrutiny, but he could do it. For her, he could do it. Forbidden or not.

So, he made a sharp turn and flew away from the House of Wind, toward the River Estate. The rain was now relentless and even in his sour mood, he had the presence of mind to finally shield himself, though it did little to dispel his gloomy thoughts.

The house wasn’t warded against his entry—he still had a bedroom and an office in there, though he used it very infrequently now. Shaking off the water that was sluicing off his wings as much as he could, he opened the door and entered.

A roar greeted him. A despondent, angry, colossal roar that came from the pudgy baby that currently wheeled into the foyer in his wooden walker. Nyx was screaming like he was being gutted. His perfectly round face was wet with tears, scrunched up and so red, that Azriel feared that his nephew might be having a conniption.

“Hello?” Azriel called out, as he removed his sodden jacket, and then considered, and removed his boots, so not to drag the water and mud across the marble floor.

Nyx was still screaming angrily, looking at Azriel with a weird challenge in his blue eyes.

Shaking his head, Azriel muttered, “What is going on with you?” and then sent a coil of fluffy shadow towards Nyx. Usually, it was enough to placate the baby and allowed for a moment of reprieve. Nyx, however, watched the shadow with disgust, and as soon as it approached him, he swapped at it with his fat hand, trying to slap it away. The shadow attempted a little jump, eager to play with him, but it only caused a further scream of outrage, as Nyx lunged at it with ferocious hatred, swatting it away, until Azriel pulled all the shadows back, so not to aggravate the situation further. Nyx’s soft baby wings were tangled behind his back, since he kept flaring them in his rage, and then unsuccessfully snapping them back, so Azriel squatted in front of him and began to gently dislodge and straighten them, while Nyx wailed and squirmed in the walker. “What are you, possessed?” muttered Azriel and pulled Nyx out of the walker, and was immediately rewarded with an even louder scream, as snot and drool flew everywhere.

“Azriel!”

There she was.

Everything stopped. Azriel no longer heard Nyx’s grunting and angry squeals, as he held him and stroked his head, gently smoothing down the silky black hair.

He’d never seen Elain so…frazzled. And so beautiful. So…human.

The girl he loved was always put together, even when gardening, in her floppy hat and dungarees, she looked picture perfect. In the kitchen, in her colourful aprons that she bought from one specific shop, she was pretty and pristine. But standing in front of him right now, this was the most lovely Elain that he’d ever seen. Cauldron boil him, but Elain was wearing black…tights? Hose? He didn’t know what they were, and even if he did, he probably couldn’t form a coherent thought in his mind, because he’d never seen Elain quite so…exposed. Those long, slender legs were clad in skin-tight black tights, and there was no escaping the shape of her body, of her lean thighs, of her lovely bare feet and her manicured toes. But what jolted him even more was that she was wearing HIS shirt. One of those shirts that he wore around the house, sparred in, and generally discarded into the laundry hamper when he was done with his exercises. His mind reeled. She was wearing HIS shirt. Why? Gods above, this was the most delicious sight to ever grace his eyes.

Azriel has had many women in his life. Too many females to count. He’s even been with human women, those who dared, and wanted a bit of their own winged Fae experience. He’d seen them naked and prone, had seen them flushed with climaxes, screaming louder than Nyx was currently doing. He’d felt, tasted, touched and filled bodies of every colour and shape. Yet nothing prepared him for the barefoot Elain in her black tights and his shirt. Nothing.

Where was Rhys, for gods’ sake? Where was Feyre? The twins? Servants? Why was he left standing here, with the most desirable and gloriously attired female, all alone? His wings flared involuntarily, his body wanting, yearning for her. Wanting all of her. All of this. Everything that was forbidden to him.

Her braid was loose, honey-coloured strands escaping wantonly and spilling over her shoulder, framing her pale, rosy cheeks.

“Az, you are here!” she exclaimed, eyes widening with what he could only mark as excitement. Maybe even pleasure.

“Good evening,” he tried to sound normal, though his voice felt deep and hoarse and suddenly dropped a couple of octaves. “What is,”

“He lost Brute!” she cried in desperation. “I’ve been looking for fifteen minutes, and I can’t find it! Please,”

“Got it,” he said, tucking Nyx under his arm, like a sack of potatoes.

This was dangerous ground.

 Following their unnecessarily lavish mating ceremony, Cassian and Nesta went on their honeymoon. In Illyria. When Azriel found out, he gagged. Cassian laughed. “You can’t take her somewhere better?” Azriel wondered, shaking his head. “Anywhere is better. The fucking Spring Court is better!” Cassian slapped his shoulder and argued, “Pretty, but deadly. At least to me. I’ll kick the bucket if I spend more than 15 minutes in Spring Court and Nesta will have to bring my dead body back here.” Azriel shrugged, “Might be worth it, if she avoids going to Illyria”. “You are too harsh, brother,” was all Cassian said, though Az felt like he wasn’t harsh enough. Nevertheless, Nesta and Cassian went to Illyria and to everyone’s shock, Nesta loved it! She loved the open spaces, the rugged, wild terrain, the forests and the picturesque lakes. She liked Cassian’s secluded bungalow, which he built himself—actually, the three brothers built it together, back in the day.

One day, there was a country fair celebrating some Illyrian war hero, and Cassian made a date of it. It was a surprise for Nesta, who’d never been to one, and they spent the day wandering from attraction to attraction, eating too much fried food, riding rollercoasters, which made Nesta scream until she was hoarse, and playing games. There was a shooting competition, and Cassian insisted on participating, though he wasn’t an ace with a bow and arrow, but he figured that he was still better than the average Illyrian. He wanted to show off in front of Nesta. Turned out, the average Illyrian was in fact better than the Commander General of the Armies of the Night Court, and Cassian came in third. Third. The prize was a small stuffed bat. Shamefaced, Cassian presented Nesta with the bat, promising to do better next time. So, so much better! Nesta named the bat Brute—after her mate—and upon their return from the honeymoon, she gave the toy to Nyx. And Nyx became obsessed. Brute and Nyx were inseparable and especially after Nyx began teething, leathery Brute came very handy, as Nyx chewed and gnawed on it mercilessly.

Azriel sent his shadows to search for Brute throughout the house, while he went room to room, looking in all the places that Nyx frequented in his walker. Nyx was only nine months old, but he already managed to say a few odd words. There was ‘ma’, “Lana”—which stood for Elain, “no”, and “Boot” or “Oot” or “Boo” which all referred to Brute. Nothing for Rhys yet, much to Rhys’s chagrin. Az got “Ath”, with a lisp. And of course, everyone’s favorite – “ass” for Cass.

“I already looked there,” said Elain, as she dove under an armchair, her tight little bum up in the air, while Azriel was cursing inwardly, unable to tear his eyes off the sight, disregarding Nyx’s slobbering over his arm. Nyx was getting tired of screaming—finally—so he was mostly hiccupping, sniffling and rubbing his eyes with his chubby first.

“I think I got it!” cried Azriel, once the shadows informed him that Brute has been located. He rushed up the stairs, taking three at a time, with Nyx bouncing under his arm and finally found the toy entangled in Nyx’s blanket. The first place Azriel should’ve looked. Both he and Elain were clearly off their game.

Nyx squealed with delight once Brute was safely in his hands and latched on to it with his aching gums. Tears were forgotten. Azriel lightly kissed the top of the baby’s head and then went downstairs.

Elain was awaiting them in the foyer and seeing the placated Nyx, she also gasped with delight, clapping lightly and then…she rushed and kissed Azriel’s cheek.

“Thank you,” she murmured, and he just stared at her, a smile on his lips.

“High praise for finding a toy,” he said at last, but Elain only grabbed his hand and threaded her fingers with his.

“No one is home?” he asked softly, and she gave him a knowing look, shaking her head. His thumb gently rubbed her fingers, as they walked to the kitchen.

“You will stay for dinner,” she said. More of an order.

“Yes.”

“We have to feed him,” she nodded towards Nyx.

Without releasing the baby, Azriel rolled up his sleeves and set to work. He washed Nyx’s wet, sticky face first, took out a fresh bib, which was immediately greeted with ‘no bip!”. “Yes, bib,” insisted Azriel, trying to tie it, while Nyx struggled and attempted to tear it off. Elain chuckled under her breath, watching the battle.

“He is like the Attor today!” groaned Azriel, as he finally succeeded in tying the bib, “is this how he always is? His parents need to discipline their damn kid better.”

She laughed.

“Where are they anyway?”

“The opera,” she explained.

Nothing gave Elain more pleasure than experiencing these stolen moments with Azriel.

A few months back, Rhysand, in no uncertain terms explained to her that at this point, a relationship between her and Azriel would be politically disadvantageous and therefore, ill-advised. The silver-tongued High Lord made his arguments clear, but with that irresistible firm gentleness that he employed on everyone, when he wanted something. Elain nodded, a neutral expression plastered on her face, while her heart shuttered, and something cracked in her chest. Whatever Rhysand was saying, the order was clear—she was forbidden from seeking Azriel out.

The ache…the ache inside of her only grew since then. It wasn’t an ache of sadness or despair, for deep down, Elain was absolutely sure that Azriel would find a way. He always did. And she trusted him unconditionally, knowing that nothing would stop him in his pursuit of her. Forbidden or not, they both craved each other with a wild, inexplicable hunger, and Azriel would find a way to circumvent all the restrictions that were placed on them. However, the knowledge did nothing to ease the desire that constantly coursed through her. Seeing him was a most delicious torment, a sweet, lacerating pain that never went away. When she awoke in the morning, she thought of Azriel, and when she went to bed at night, he was her last thought of the day. It was always Azriel.

He sat Nyx in his highchair.

“Are they coming back tonight?” he asked, without looking at her.

She turned away, and busied herself with Nyx’s dinner, mashing a carrot and a turnip together with a fork, mixing in a bit of cream, to make her nephew’s favorite dish.

“They are staying at the Grand Velaris Hotel for the night,” she said quietly. “Feyre just notified me. Rhys wanted to make…a night of it.”

Azriel couldn’t stop himself. Didn’t want to stop himself. Elain froze, when she felt him behind her, his enormous looming presence like a coiled string of pure strength and power. His beautiful scarred hand gently wrapped over hers, and they pressed the fork into the vegetables together, neither paying any attention to what they were doing. His breath was warm on the back of her head—actually the top of her head—for he had to crane his neck to lay his cheek against her own, while his other hand wrapped around her hip.

“I’ve missed you,” he murmured, lips brushing over her ear, just short of kissing.

Absently, she dragged her fingers over the huge scarred hand that rested on her hip, her breath stalling in her chest. She became unbearably hot, heart beating so fast that she was sure that he could hear it.

“Will you stay?”

“Yes.”

His muscle-corded golden-brown arm tugged her closer, and she leaned into him, forgetting everything at once, only aware of this beautiful warrior behind her, as his powerful chest rose and fell against her back.

“Baby, I,” he began, and stopped abruptly, as if fearing that he’d made a mistake.

Baby.

‘Baby’ destroyed her.

She was never ‘baby’ to him before.

She was ‘Elain’ to him, in front of others. Once in a while, usually in Cassian’s presence, it was ‘Ellie’. More of a Cassian thing, but Azriel slipped occasionally and called her that as well. When they were completely alone, however infrequently, he let himself address her as ‘Lainey’. She loved ‘Lainey’. But he never uttered something so endearing as ‘baby’.

She turned around and looked up at him, caged comfortably within those massive arms, his golden-hazel eyes soft and loving. This look Azriel reserved for her alone. In his 539 years, no one, but Elain Archeron was privy to seeing him like this. He was undone. Ruined by this delicate woman who held his heart in her hand, as it burned with ever-present flame for her.

“Lana!” yelled Nyx, reminding them of his presence.

Azriel smirked and shook his head. She grinned and then cupped his face in her palm, as he began kissing her fingers, his hands resting on the counter behind her. For the first time, her plump, delicate breasts pushed into his chest, the material of his shirt providing bare minimum of a barrier, and he loved it, because she loved it. She loved it when he gingerly moved her breasts against his chest, and she pressed them closer into him, a silent invitation for more. More skin, more touch, more breath, more kisses, more of everything. Elain wanted everything. Elain wanted Azriel.

“Baby,” he began again, kissing the inside of her palm, “I like your shirt.”

Her brown eyes sparkled mischievously, and she looked down between their bodies, where they touched and fit together with strange, inexplicable precision, as if carved from the same flesh.

“I like this shirt too,” she assured him.

“I think you should wear it more, my beauty,” he suggested, his soft lips trailing from her wrist, up her forearm. “In fact, I think that you should wear my clothes as frequently as possible.”

“I was thinking the same thing,” she admitted, and lightly kissed his chin. Yes, she had to rise on her toes to reach it, but that stunning jawline of his was too irresistible for her to ignore any longer. She kissed the subtly scratchy chin again, and again, and then moved slowly, dragging her lips towards his ear. He tensed against her, his arms pushing against her shoulders, his wings flaring lightly behind him, cocooning the two of them in the velvety darkness.

“But,” she finally wrapped her arms around his neck, stretching her body against his, feeling every bit of him. “I was thinking maybe no clothes at all would be nice as well.”

“I couldn’t disagree,” he winked at her.

“Ath!” insistent drumming pulled them out of their mutual reverie. “Lana!”

“We have to be responsible adults,” she sighed, while Azriel kissed the tip of her nose. “And feed our child.”

“You feed our wayward child,” he decided, “and I will cook dinner.”

“You might very well be the perfect man!” she laughed.

“I might be,” he shrugged nonchalantly, kissing the top of her head and releasing her from his embrace at once.

Forbidden or not, this was going to be a very nice evening.

A very nice evening indeed.

[cheri-translates]

Gavin’s Official Art Book (Eng Translation)

Credits to @minjee98​ for sending me photos of Gavin’s official art book and requesting this translation!

This post contains details on Gavin’s outfits, items, backgrounds, and interviews with his CN voice actor, the Copywriting Team, Art Team, and Production team.

More: Kiro l Lucien l Black Swan l STF l NPCs l Loveland City

💙 GAVIN’S OUTFITS 💙

[ Leather Jacket ]

Like a gust of wind blowing from a time of youth, coursing through very long years, Gavin appeared before you. An unruly and intractable smile, a relaxed tone, and the corner of his shirt riding up with the wind at the front seat of the motorcycle...

Back then, you wouldn’t have thought that he would be holding onto your hand like this, accompanying you through countless sceneries.

[Note] Something cute is that the word “sceneries” in Chinese is 风景 (“feng jing”), which directly translates to “wind view”

[ Uniform - Jacket Version ]

If it weren’t for Gavin bringing you to the Special Task Force and telling you about the Black Swan organisation, you would have continued living in ignorance.

Shouldn’t you be glad that he was willing to tell you everything? It’s only because of this that you knew you had been protected all along, and could finally stand by his side. 

[ Gavin’s Shirt  ]

If a rainbow is a delight after a rainfall, and two rainbows are a delight of a coincidental destiny, the three rainbows that you and Gavin saw must definitely be a unique miracle.

As long as you’re with him, the two of you can definitely create even more miracles belonging only to the both of you.

[ Shirt and Pants ]

The summer wind, his mildly bashful smile, the white shirt with its slightly rolled up sleeves, and the side profile with the blue coloured roof reflected in his pupils.

There’s no need to specially reminisce that summer day spent coursing through the river of love with Gavin. It’s definitely shimmering brightly in your memories all along, isn’t it?

[ Swimming Attire]

Riding the waves on a surfboard, playing the bass underneath the lights, using a light cough to cover his shyness... These are the most beautiful memories of that year’s summer.

Back then, when you had looked into Gavin’s eyes, did you suddenly feel that your entire life would pass like this?

[ Camo Jacket ] 

On the day of releasing Pearly, the sunlight was warm and bright. A slight wind was blowing up strands of stray hair. Gavin held onto you, the two of you embracing the sunlight and wind.

Do you still remember? Him promising you the rest of his life back then, the bright amber of his eyes, and the answer you had given.

You said that you’d never let go of his hand.

[ Silver Grey Suit ]

You never would have thought the so-called “Meeting the Parents” would be such a nerve-racking thing.

It’s a good thing Gavin donned a well-fitting suit and appeared in time, protecting you from all sorts of tricky questions posed by your relatives. Or else you’d have been disorientated from the questions early on.

[ Swordsman Outfit ]

Which incident left the deepest impression on you during that year’s Qixi Festival? Was it Gavin’s swordsman appearance, his tender gaze under the moonlight, or was it... the sense of suffocation when you found out that his wire was broken?

If prayers truly worked, you would have been willing to make a prayer to the gods and spirits: Please don’t let him be put in danger again.

[ Wedding Attire ]

Although the wedding was just a filming activity, have you ever secretly anticipated it?

That path of fresh flowers the two of you walked along together, those bright and resplendent moments, and that person who had held onto you as you walked forward...

Being with him like this has commenced the true start of your lives. 

[ Black Jacket ]

The first time you spent Valentine’s Day with Gavin, the first time you received an exorbitant gift from him, the first time the two of you drank from the same beverage...

On that day, you experienced so many memorable firsts. And to him, these memories are definitely just as precious.

[ Army Attire ]

The pitch-black uniform and gloves, medals flashing with a cold light, and ice-cold handcuffs... You’ve probably never seen such a Gavin.

But even if he doesn’t recognise you at all, he will continue stopping you from getting involved in danger, and will keep your lost bracelet properly.

No matter what, he has always been a tender person.

[ School Attire ]

He’s already hurt but still has a look of happiness and wants to play basketball - are all boys like that?

Can’t you easily imagine how a young Gavin was definitely the type to lead a bunch of small boys at the front with the broadest smile on his face as they ran towards the basketball court!

-

💙 GAVIN’S ITEMS 💙

Communication device - I carry it on me. It’s indispensable.

Gloves - An accompaniment when on missions. When I’m with you, I'll take them off.

Photograph together - Every moment related to us and worthy of remembering have been properly stored.

Photoshoot pictures - Because it has to do with you, I [ I CAN’T READ HIS HANDWRITING ]

Universe cake - Only you can fulfil my wish.

Astral stone - That was the last time [ I CAN’T READ HIS HANDWRITING ]

Cute hair tie - I’ll only be like this in front of you.

Touchscreen phone -  Don’t bother about the rumours from school. Whatever you want to know, I’ll tell them all to you.

Shampoo - Next time, I’ll help wash your hair again.

Police badge - Memories of you in high school surface in his mind... it was truly a counter of a rebellious youth.

Bullets

Soft pillow

Ginkgo leaves

Letter

Phone keychain

Gavin’s house key

Lavender eye mask

Ginger tea

-

💙 BACKGROUNDS 💙

[ Gavin’s Room ]

Ever since the two of you reunited, life has gradually entered this minimalist-styled room. Without realising it, photographs of the two of you have appeared on the neat and tidy work desk. And the gloves you gave to him have been placed in the most eye-catching spot in the closet.

[ Gavin’s Kitchen ]

The kitchen, which didn’t have a full collection of ingredients, was gradually imbued with the smell of soot. The two of you have made several failed dishes together, but each time, he’ll smile and finish everything. The next time, will the both of you be able to overcome the curse of “dark cuisine” together?

[ Special Task Force Office ]

Here, you found out about the secrets of the Special Task Force, and also found out that the righteousness he has been steadfast in is hard-won. After that, he may never step into this place again. But you definitely trust in the conviction of his words.

[ Castle Steps ]

When he held onto you, walking up that serene spiral staircase, your heart was beating even faster than usual, wasn’t it? Did it stem purely from an anticipation of an unknown scenery, or was it from the unending stream of warmth from his palm?

-

💙 INTERVIEWS 💙

[ Interview with Ah Jie, the voice actor for Gavin ]

“I hope that while he remains steadfast to his convictions, he can live each day happily and optimistically.”

Q1: Teacher Ah Jie, having interacted with Gavin for such a long time, do you have any new insights regarding him?

Ah Jie: Mm, I do, a little. The most obvious thing would be how he has recently returned to his original self. Actually, things related to his mother, and the attitude his father adopts when interacting with him, have to a large extent changed his personality and the way he handles things. I still hope that while he remains steadfast to his convictions, he can live each day happily and optimistically. Love can make one more cheerful and carefree, and it’s pretty good.

-

Q2: Are there any characteristics of Gavin you appreciate a lot?

Ah Jie: I find one thing good about Gavin - the way he strongly perseveres in what he has decided upon. No matter whether it’s in terms of righteousness, his convictions, or feelings - once he decides on it, he’ll move forward without hesitation.

-

Q3: What do you think of Gavin’s Evol?

Ah Jie: I initially wanted to possess it, but... it’s not very useful considering Beijing’s weather. If his Evol was sufficiently powerful, could it blow away the smog? I’ll find a chance to ask him some other day.

-

Q4: Is there anything you’ve always wanted to tell Gavin, but haven’t?

Ah Jie: Even though he isn’t the type who knows how to hold a conversation with girls, he has changed for the better recently, and it’s a very large improvement. However, there’s no need to specially change. I think girls like how he is right now.

-

Q5: Has Teacher Ah Jie recently chanced upon a restaurant which you want to bring Gavin to?

Ah Jie: I recently discovered a very delicious and very spicy place. Next time, I’ll arrange to have supper with him there, haha.

-

[ Interview with the Copywriting Team ]

“He should be free and unfettered.”

Q1: The storyline of the game has several science fiction elements. What made you consider including science fiction elements in a game targeted at females?

Actually, we felt that romance is often underestimated. Love isn’t simply effete language without substance, or honeyed words. Love can give us courage, and bring us to a whole new world, opening new journeys, finding your unlimited self. A romance story is naturally appropriate to be melded with any other motifs. In love, we can explore various issues: personal growth, contradictions in society, the truth of civilisation, the rise and fall of history...  The story we wish to convey to the players is one of “the cruel competition between love and power”. This isn’t just a complex story with science fiction elements. Actually, it’s also very related to the lives of every person.

-

Q2: As an Evol agent, does Gavin work 365 without rest?

No, but he has to be prepared to accept sudden missions.

-

Q3: Why couldn’t Gavin keep Greenie alive?

He watered it too much.

-

Q4: If he uses his Evol, what’s the highest point Gavin can reach through flight?

As long as he wants to, he can fly as high as he wants.

-

Q5: Does Gavin really like eating noodles?

It’s not to the extent of "really liking” it. it’s just that he finds it convenient.

-

Q6: When deciding on Gavin’s Evol, were there any special considerations?

We felt that he should be free and unfettered, just like... a gust of free and easy wind.

-

Q7: In the process of interacting, does Gavin have any difficult-to-spot “moe points”?

His slightly clumsy way of expressing his care and consideration. For instance, asking “Were you happy to ride it once more” after taking the Ferris wheel.

-

Q8: In the 2018 Qixi Festival event, Gavin’s ancient garb left a deep impression on people. Why did you design Gavin this way?

A swordsman who comes and goes without a trace. A swordsman who can rush to the skies even after falling off a cliff.

-

Q9: Is Gavin a dog or a cat person?

Dog.

-

Q10: What do you think is Gavin’s most classic line? How did you think of it?

“As long as you’re in the wind, I can sense you.”

It just came out very naturally in the plot - that Gavin would say something like that.

-

Q11: In relation to Gavin, are there any scenes that you’ve always wanted to write but haven’t fulfilled yet?

More scenes imbued with the feeling of a youthful romance. For instance, kissing at the rooftop staircase. I hope it can be arranged soon.

-

[ Interview with the Art Team ]

“Your photograph must be placed even on the workbench of the secret base!”

Q1: In relation to the various scenes in Loveland City, are there are any real life references?

The answer to this question has already been discovered by some meticulous players. We have indeed made references to a few real sceneries, such as the The Bund.

We want to give players the sense that the romance is happening right next to them, which is why we’ve brought our city’s scenery into the game, so everyone can feel a sense of familiarity and realism.

-

Q2: Art Sisters, what you think of the “Papergames Art Style” as coined by players? What is the biggest difference between the art style in Mr Love Queen’s Choice and other games by Papergames?

Actually, we don’t really understand the meaning of “Papergames Art Style”, and we don’t know what it means specifically. It probably refers to how the tone and atmosphere are more clear and romantic? Even our own department finds that the art styles from different games are very different. In making a comparison, Mr Love Queen’s Choice is much “harder” (laughs). After all, our main characters are four adult men. Right now, the style is basically “hard but not coarse” - there are parts which require meticulousness and delicateness, yet can’t be too soft.

-

Q3: Have you ever considered changing Gavin’s hairstyle, for instance giving him a crew cut?

Based on his personality, he might have thought about it. After all, a crew cut is very convenient. But come to think of it, does everyone really want to see him with a crew cut?

-

Q4: Where does Gavin typically buy his clothes? Online or in the shopping mall?

When he thinks it’s about time to buy clothes, he’ll find time to go to the mall. Occasionally, he buys them online.

-

Q5: How many different scars does Gavin have on his body?

There are some especially obvious scars on his collarbone and back. There are many other non-obvious ones in other places.

-

Q6: Why is there such a big difference between Gavin’s initial design and the final design? Initially, why did you give him that somewhat “smart” hairstyle?

Actually, we tried out many different types of hairstyles in the beginning. Then, we selected the one which was most suitable, and then refined it. The “smart” hairstyle was just one of many.

-

Q7: How many different outfits does Gavin have currently?

It’s difficult to say. After all, he does keep buying new clothes. A guy’s closet is the same as a woman’s - forever missing one shirt, a pair of pants, a pair of shoes, a watch...

-

Q8: Flowers appear frequently in the game. Could I ask the Art Team which flower best suits Gavin?

White lilac.

-

Q9: When it comes to Gavin’s home decor, what do the Art Sisters find the most special?

What’s special lies in “the warmth only you know about”.

Although the monochrome colours appear cold and cool, the details reveal the dribs and drabs of your lives: Outside the windows, you can see ginkgo trees which a harbour special meaning to the two of you. Atop the shelf in front of the window sits the strong “Greenie No. N+1″. Your photograph must be placed even on the workbench of the secret base!

-

Q10: What’s most difficult to grasp about Gavin?

The ahoge on Gavin’s head should point in the opposite direction of the wind.

-

[ Interview with the Production Team ]

“He gives people a sense of security, like the ‘Ah Sir’ in Hong Kong films!”

Q1: Why did you produce a game like “Love and Producer”?

Producers: Since 2015, our company has already started producing this game. As a mobile game with romance at its core, it’s something not many companies have tried before. The company had a lot of discussions on the possibility of it. In the end, we decided to do it, and the reason for making constant iterations, updates, and persevering after three years is especially simple. No matter what age you are, no matter whether you’ve dated before, no matter whether you're married and have your own family, we believe that in every woman’s heart, there remains an anticipation for romance and heart-stirring experiences. Which is why we believe “Love and Producer” has a reason for its existence. This belief has always guided our production and operation process, and we hope we can continuously bring even more beautiful romance experiences to everyone in the future.

-

Q2: Where did the name of the game “Love and Producer” come from?

Producers: I don’t know if anyone remembers that in the very beginning, our tagline on the official website has always been “Love and dreams need to meet their match.” Why is this game called “Love and Producer”? That’s because the link between you and him not only encompasses the narrow scope of love, but also permeates into to your life journey together.

-

Q3: Are there any deeply hidden “Easter eggs”? Could you disclose them to us?

Producers: They aren’t really that hidden, but there are indeed some “Easter eggs” which should have already been discovered by some players. For instance, you can see a certain poster during City Strolls. In “Go See Him”, the coupling of certain outfits and sceneries could bring out a few hidden lines. We welcome everyone to give it a try.

-

Q4: If you were to catch criminals together with Gavin, how could you help him?

Producers: After much thought, we might only be bait...

-

Q5: What do the people in the Production team call Gavin?

Producers: Gavin, Old Gav, Lil Gav, Bro Gav.

-

Q6: How do the males in the production team view Gavin?

Producers: An envoy of righteousness, he gives people a sense of security, like the ‘Ah Sir’ in Hong Kong films!”. But sometimes, he’s like Andy Chan.

-

Q7: If you had Gavin’s Evol, what would you use it for?

Producers: Of course, I'll go for a flight!

-

Q8: If there comes a day when you can be as fearless as Gavin, what would you want to do most?

Producers: Serve... serve the motherland?

-

Q9: Lastly, do you have anything to say to the players?

Producers: This interaction between the Production Team and the players is already sufficient enough to cherish. The world we created has only become perfect because of your participation. Our days alongside Loveland City have already become an important stamp in our lives. This world is still constantly becoming richer and broader. Kindly look forward to it!

[booksofkingdomsandcourts]

Elucien Modern AU: Part 1

Elain tries to clear her head while at the beach, but she finds she’s not the only one looking for a little peace and quiet.

Part 2

~~~

Part 1

           Elain crossed her arms over herself as she stepped out into the night air. Here at the end of March it had been warm enough during the day for them to enjoy the beach, but now, with the sun set, the wind was chilly through her thin jacket. It was nice, though, if a bit bracing. The sea rolled contentedly against the banks of pure, fluffy sand. Rhysand’s vacation house had its own private pier, and Elain made her way there now, letting her thoughts move with the rhythmic in and out of the ocean.

           It was nice of them to invite her. She supposed it was less an act of charity now that she and Azriel were…together, or whatever they were, but even before then, they had always made an effort to invite her to things. Come shopping, come to dinner, we’re going to a bar, we’re having a party. She put on her smiling face and used her grad-school elbow-rubbing skills and they were always happy to have her.

           After Graysen had broken off their engagement, Elain had been happy to have anything to do as a distraction. And she did enjoy the company of her sister’s fiancé and his friends. But as they’d spent the past few days here, Elain’s feelings had slowly congealed, leaving her feeling icky without really knowing why.

           So now, while the Rhys and Cassian and Azriel played pool and Feyre and Mor and Nesta had girl talk and Amren and Varian made out, Elain snuck out for a little peace and quiet by the waves. Maybe they would bring her some peace of mind.

           The lights on the beach and pier were off, so Elain pressed on her phone flashlight and made her way carefully across the sand, gripping the phone tight while keeping the other hand tightly around herself. The wind felt stronger once she was on the wood slats of the pier, but she still didn’t mind. With the darkness and the sound of the waves, however, she didn’t realize someone had already claimed her intended spot until was almost there. She looked up from where she had been watching her footing in the limited light and couldn’t stop a startled, “Oh!”

           Lucien turned to her, thick ginger hair whipping in the ocean wind. “Elain!” he said, looking equally surprised. Then he quickly put on the cautious look he always used with her.

           “I didn’t realize you were out here,” she said.

           “I can go back—" he began, but Elain cut him off.

           “No, you were here first. I’ll go back.”

           “I mean…you can stay,” Lucien said hesitantly. “I don’t mind if—if you don’t.”

           “I don’t mind,” Elain said, and took up a place beside him on the railing. Lucien reached down to something at his feet, then stood back up and offered Elain a beer. She took it and said, “Are you just standing out here drinking a six-pack by yourself?”

           He shrugged, his face unapologetic, but in the unreliable light of the moon, she thought he might have been blushing. “It seemed easier to just carry the pack than carry a handful of cans. I figured no one would miss it.”

           “No, I think Rhys and his boys are on liquor already and the other girls have taken up wine for the evening,” Elain conceded, popping the tab on her can and taking a sip.

           “No cheering your boyfriend on at the pool table?” Lucien teased, but the words came out a little too flat, a little too serious. They went quiet.

           Elain knew Lucien liked her. Or at least, he was interested in her. He had made a couple of small advances some months ago, but when she had made it clear she wasn’t looking for anything again so soon, he had backed off. She had appreciated that. But it had stayed weird. And it wasn’t like he was the first man she had ever turned down and then had to interact with on a regular basis—there had been coworkers and fellow students expressing interest in her all her life, if only for her big eyes and gentle face. But with Lucien, for some reason, after those few awkward interactions it was like they could never quite be civil to each other—his face tensed when she came in the room, if he was sitting on one side she always chose to sit on the other. After this had happened the first few times Feyre had asked Elain if Lucien had done something, if she needed to stop bringing him around. But Elain said no, nothing had happened, they just didn’t really click. And that had been the end of it.

           It helped that Lucien wasn’t always around anyway. The position Rhys had given him required a lot of travelling, which Lucien liked, as far as Elain could tell, but it meant he was often gone for weeks at a time. Elain had always hoped this would make her feel better, and yet she had always noticed when he wasn’t at Feyre’s shindigs anyways.

           It had not helped when she started sleeping with Azriel. Lucien had given no reaction—why would he?—but Elain always felt that much more awkward when he was in the room after that. She berated herself for it, but she couldn’t help it, and she didn’t know why. She didn’t owe Lucien anything, and he had never acted like she did. So why couldn’t they move past it and be friends?

           Elain looked down at the moonlight reflecting off the waves as she took another pensive sip of her beer then cast her gaze sideways at Lucien. He was staring out at the horizon, look heavy but not unhappy. Maybe this could be the time to change that.

           “How’s work?” she asked awkwardly. He started, as if he hadn’t expected her to speak to him.

           “Uh…good,” he said, collecting himself. “Rhysand is keeping me busy, but I’ve always done well with busy. What about you?” he asked, equally as awkward. “How’s school?”

           “Good,” Elain said. “Boring. I can’t wait to have a job that keeps me busy. Writing a thesis is a ton of work but there’s no structure and it’s no fun and I think about dropping out every day.” The words came out all in a rush, and to her surprise, Lucien laughed.

           “I wish I had some great advice for you, but I think that’s just how every grad student feels. I remember when I did my thesis, I used to blow off all my work time I had scheduled on the weekends, and then on Mondays I would go to my favorite coffee shop and just work for eight hours straight.” He smiled wistfully at the waves. “The baristas there all knew me and would come around to take my order every couple of hours so I could keep working. It was exhausting, but looking back on it, I kind of miss the atmosphere, you know?” he said, taking a sip of his beer.

           “I didn’t know you went to grad school,” Elain said, raising her eyebrows.

           Lucien nodded. “Got my master’s in international affairs.” He turned his head to her fully, and Elain suddenly became conscious of the fact that she was standing in the blind spot of his glass eye. That was probably why he hadn’t noticed her approaching before. “You’re looking to do nonprofit work, right?”

           “That’s what my master’s is in,” she confirmed, “My undergrad was in botanical science. I just…I don’t know. I don’t know what exactly I want to do. I want to…help rebuild green belts and plan public spaces and build gardens in schools. Or maybe I just want to own a plant store. I don’t know,” she repeated. She sighed. Graysen had said it didn’t matter, that he would provide for them and Elain could do anything she wanted, no matter how big or how small. That she could rebuild the world’s cities and fill them with flowers or just fire the gardener and tend their home’s gardens herself. He had said it wouldn’t matter to him, as long as his “Peony” was happy.

           Thinking about that now left a sour taste in her mouth. Maybe she should change careers altogether.

           “I’m sure whatever you do will be widely beloved,” Lucien said kindly. “Feyre says you’ve always had a green thumb greener than anyone else she’s ever met.”

           His words were kind, but for some reason anger rolled in Elain’s gut. Not at Feyre, she didn’t think, but at the reminder that her love of plants was all anyone ever knew about her, all anyone ever said about her. And she didn’t even know what else she wanted them to say instead. “That’s me,” Elain said, “Elain the plant girl.” The amount of acid that leeched into the words surprised even her. Lucien gaped slightly, clearly searching for the right response to match her sudden foul temper, and Elain dropped her head into her hands. “I’m sorry,” she said. “That sounded rude, I didn’t mean it. I don’t know what’s going on—I feel all out of sorts tonight.”

           “That’s okay,” Lucien said.

           “I just feel like…really tired,” Elain added.

           “Grad school is a real grind,” Lucien agreed, about to cycle their conversation back to the beginning.

           But Elain said, without even really thinking about it, “It’s not school. That’s like…normal stress. This is something else.” She pinched her mouth shut, biting the inside if her lips. This was more than she and Lucien had ever talked, and she was surprised by how easy talking to him actually was, but she wasn’t about to just start dumping her life problems on him. She didn’t think either of them really wanted that.

           Lucien studied her for a long moment, looking conflicted. Elain thought he might have been considering asking her what was wrong. Instead, however, he simply reached over and picked up her beer, shaking it gingerly to weigh how much was left.

           “I’m not drunk,” Elain said crossly.

           “I know,” Lucien said, bending down to grab two more beers from the box at his feet. He held one out to her.

           “I still have plenty,” Elain said, confused. She’d probably only drank a third of hers so far—surely he had been able to tell that it was still mostly full. But Lucien did not retract his extended hand, so she took the new can from him. Then he pulled a folded pocket knife out of his back pocket and tapped it against his can, grinning.

           Elain couldn’t stop a laugh of disbelief. “You want me to shotgun a beer?”

           “Is it really a beach trip if you don’t?”

           “I’m pretty sure you guys knocked that out on day one,” Elain said, recalling watching the boys, Feyre, and Lucien do exactly that on the beach to kick off the trip.

           “And I don’t remember seeing you participate,” Lucien countered. “I’ll be a good sport—I’m going to do it with you.” He gestured to her can with his knife. “What do you say?”

           Elain tried to recall the last time she had shotgunned a beer. Probably at some undergrad party with Graysen and his friends. Her stomach twisted again, and that steeled her resolve. She was tired of associating everything with him. Maybe this would be the first (somewhat undignified) step into reclaiming some fun in her life. She held her beer out to Lucien. He flipped open his knife and braced it against her can. “Ready?” She nodded, and he punched a hole in each of their cans.

           She brought the can to her mouth, careful to avoid slicing her lips or tongue, and they made eye contact as Lucien mimed three, two, one, and they popped the tabs on their cans. Elain tipped her head back a little, trying to drink fast without pouring beer all over her jacket. From the corner of her eye she could see Lucien in a similar pose.

Despite being out of practice, she finished hers first, raising the empty, ravaged can above her head triumphantly before tossing it into the trash can in the middle of the platform. Lucien finished his moments later, also chucking it the small distance to the trash can, and then they both looked at each other.

           And Elain burst out laughing. The adrenaline of the moment coupled with her stress and the light beginnings of a buzz suddenly sent her into a fit of laughter so heavy she sank down onto the pier, clutching her stomach. Tears began gathering at the corners of her eyes, and it wasn’t long before hiccups started. She continued to laugh.

           “Oh my god, I broke you,” Lucien said with wonder, sinking down into a squat to look at her. “Are you okay?”

           “Yes,” Elain managed around her hiccups and her giggles. “I just—oh god—” She worked to catch her breath. The hiccups were almost painful. “I can’t remember the last time I did something kind of fun and kind of stupid, you know? Not since…everything happened.” She subconsciously pinched the ring finger of her left hand. There was no use hiding it. She knew Lucien knew about what had gone down with Graysen—everyone knew. And that wasn’t even to mention the death of her father. Oh god, no wonder she was so fucked up.

           Lucien smiled, settling back so he was sitting on the pier across from her. “I know. It’s like you have to learn to choose fun again, when it seemed the obvious choice before.” He said the words lightly, brightly, but they reminded Elain that Lucien had been through a lot of shit in his life. She didn’t know the exact details, but she knew he was estranged from his family, and that he had also lost a fiancée several years ago who had passed away unexpectedly. And yet, when you met him, you almost wouldn’t know it. Not if you didn’t get past the surface. She had a thing or two to learn from him, she supposed.

           But before she could orchestrate something to say to him that illustrated that thought without it being super weird, her phone buzzed in her back pocket. She pulled it out to find a text from Azriel:

           Hey, where did you disappear to?

           She sighed. And then she hiccupped. Then she texted back:

           Went for a walk on the beach! Almost back :)

           “The beau looking for you?” Lucien asked.

           “Yeah,” Elain said. She could feel that she was frowning. “I should head back.”

           Lucien had clearly read the way her face had fallen, but he didn’t comment. Instead he just stood and offered his hand down to help her up. She took it and he pulled her to her feet. “I suggest holding your breath on the walk back to get rid of those hiccups,” he suggested, lips twitching.

           As if on cue, Elain hiccupped again. “Ow,” she mumbled sadly, and Lucien laughed.

           Her hand still rested in his. His skin was warm, his palms calloused, from some hobby or past scars or weights at the gym, she didn’t know. She noticed that they were frozen there, for just a moment, and that Lucien noticed too. She pulled her hand back.

           Lucien turned awkwardly back to his beer and the view of the sea. Elain picked up her drink and slipped her phone back into her pocket, glancing only briefly at the little heart Azriel had put on her message to show that he had seen it.

           “Thank you, Lucien,” Elain said softly.

           He turned to her again, fully so he could see her with his good eye. “Anytime.”

           And Elain made her way back to the house, holding her breath and feeling, for the first time in a long time, that maybe she was going to get through this—whatever “this” was.