#let alone what it would do if it was below the actual fic

[stupidlittlespirit]

OKAY BUT SCP FOUNDATION FORD. I feel like young Ford would be absolutely GIDDY to join an organization that he thinks shares his world views and mission- scientifically classifying and studying anomalies. But he would absolutely get fired for being WAY too fucking weird about like everything. He gets too personally invested and obsessed for their liking imo.

I can also see young Ford being weird about anomalous people, who he'd identify with. That's like a thesis in itself, really.

Either way, Ford would get fired and then have a lifelong grudge against them lol

Old Ford would get fired for his general "I know more than you" vibe and be convinced that they fired him out of insecurity.

Dying to hear what head cannons you have for SCP Foundation and Ford 💞

Okay so I have spent way too long thinking about this because I actually wanted to write a fic about it and I’m very devoted to the whole concept in general, so this all applies to the Ford-SCP AU I have in my brain.

I’m so fond of the series. I was often on /x/ as a kid (not the rest of 4chan because, duh) and I would spend hours on it, reading up on greentexts and believing every single fucking word. I desperately wanted to work for the shadowy American governmental orgs that kept these creatures in containment/a secret, and I was devastated when I grew up and found out that they weren’t real. (A part of me holds out hope that they are a real organisation but if America was covering shit up, we’d know because they fucking suck at keeping stuff on the DL).  

Anyway, let’s get into it, and remember that I’m playing fast and loose with everything SCP related because everything is canon and therefore nothing is canon! 

Below is everything from my AU ideas to Ford’s behaviour to fucking SCP/Ford ships because fuck it why not:

I think you’re right: young, starry eyed Ford would be psyched to get to see that kind of thing, but I do think that he’d be too focused on carving out his own path to allow himself to get wrapped up in the government’s red tape. It would be something he enthusiastically pencils into his diary and intends to follow up on, but never does because of how things unfold. 

Post-Portal Ford, however, is going to be The Guy for them. His personal intellect is attractive enough, but Ford has a lot of stuff going for him on top: he’s travelled interdimensionally, he’s spent time in places that would get even 05 Council Members to sit up and take notes, he’s had talks with beings that the Foundation would give their child’s left kidney to be privy to (not that they wouldn’t sell their kid for a bag of magic beans anyway but whatever) and he’s got more than enough knowledge to hit the ground running with minimal (perceived) liability for them. I mean, Bill alone has to be a Keter / Apollyon type object, surely? World ending scenario and all that. 

I think he would still be very personally invested and enthusiastic at that age, too. He would do better at trying to be aware of himself because he’s more conscious of being taken advantage of, but he wouldn’t be able to help himself when it came to just being a total nerd about it all. 

How does Ford get picked up by the Foundation?

He’d be recruited thanks to his extensive publishing on the weird and wonderful stuff within Gravity Falls (which at some point is also catergorised by the Foundation themselves) and his travels with Stan, and he would be head hunted to work for the Foundation. 

And he’d say no at first, because he’s not going to work for the government, what are you, insane?! He would want nothing to do with them, and Stan, equally, would be wary of them because nothing good ever comes from the Feds, right?  But the Foundation would be persistent and they’d give Ford appetising incentives (funding, support, tools etc) for his own research, so he’d eventually give them an inch because he'd grow to wonder what they might have on offer and they’d then introduce themselves. 

Ford would be wary but as we all know, he’s a curious cat and it doesn’t matter how many times he gets run over, he still wants to know what’s on the other side of the road even if it means weaving between cars with a blindfold on. 

Ford is obviously going to have a vested interest in the anomalies because of his own abnormalities, however I do think he’d be laughed at for even considering himself a ‘freak’ because… well…. Take a look at the guys we’re dealing with here and then say ‘having six fingers makes you weird’ with a straight face. 

Doesn’t mean he wouldn’t be empathised with by some of them, even by some of the staff, but some of the beings in the SCP universe are so extreme that having six fingers is an easily-overlookable trait. I mean, the reactions would range from “okay, and….?” to “good lord, get a grip, there are real problems out there in the world, man!” to “oh my god that’s cool, he’s just like me fr”. 

Ford would quickly learn that whatever research he’s done/is doing is really nothing in comparison to what the Foundation does. Not that his work is of less value or anything, just that the Foundation is so large and the breadth and scale of their work would be unbelievable to him. He’d still think he knew best in a lot of ways but he’d be willing to listen and learn from the researchers and scientists that he did admire.

However, Ford would definitely manage to piss off every other person on the site he gets contracted to LMAO. Except the scientists he respected, though perhaps even them sometimes. Oh, and the nicer/less serious D-Class personnel, because they’d often remind him of Stanley and he’d be rather grossed out by the process of sacrificing those lesser prisoners to creatures in the name of governmental gain, so he would make an effort to be patient with them where he can. 

Not to mention that he’d kick AWF if he found out how loosey goosey the regulations are around picking prisoners for testing…. We know the Foundation has a habit of taking anyone with a life sentence/death row conviction, but we also know that not every convict is guilty. On top of that, we know they’ll take literally anyone if they really need to get some tests done and they don’t really give a fuck what the D-Class has done. I mean, they’ll take civilians too, so. I don’t think Ford would be okay with that. 

If they’re actually just awful people then he’s not likely going to care as much of course, but sometimes I read/listen to reports with D-Class in them that have just sold drugs or something, and the researcher’s are like yeah fuck it put weed-dealer Greg in the box with the mutated crocodile made out of poisonous spikes and shake it really hard, it’ll be funny! I think that would upset Ford and he wouldn’t be afraid to kick off about it (after all, any of those D’s could have been his brother at one point, right?) 

Staff members:

In terms of working with specific staff members, he’s obviously not going to have much to do with MTF or even any of the agents etc, really. Not unless he would require specific information from them during a test or something. There could be crossover if he was to get pissed off at how poorly executed a field expedition went or something, but I expect that his main area of interaction would revolve around Researchers and Objects themselves. 

Let’s talk about my beloved Dr Bright. I think Ford would have a careful appreciation for Bright. As we know, Bright is a bit nuts. He’s very eccentric and volatile, but very intelligent and good at his job as well as being personally afflicted, what with his brother’s objecti-fication within the facility. Ford would recognise Bright’s appreciation for suicide (bless him, real recognises real) given all of his own personal issues and understand why Bright might be so difficult.  

I do, however, think Ford would also be exceptionally wary of Dr Bright, given the way he’s bound to SCP-963. If you don’t know, 963 is a medallion/necklace and if you wear it you’re immortal. However, it’s tied to Bright and if another person wears it, their mind is basically wiped and replaced with Dr Bright’s. So, it would be very close to possession and for Ford, that would be very triggering, I think. Ford would be amenable with Bright and even appreciative of his work, but he’d be too nervous about 963, even if the likelihood of him being made to wear it was low. 

Next up is another fav: Dr Alto Clef. Now, I think Ford would have a love-hate relationship with Clef. 

Clef is reeeeally smart and very talented. He’s also very eccentric and weird, and is also anomalous himself, so Ford can get behind that. But Clef is also a fucking nightmare. He lies and is gross and unethical (was an awful misogynist, but possibly isn’t anymore? Hard to know for sure because there’s a LOT of information out there and no hard canon), though I don’t think he’s an irredeemable guy. Most notably, Clef has what he refers to as a ‘deformity’. He underwent anomalous alterations that prevent his face from being photographed and gave him resistance to reality shifts. Clef is described in files but you just can’t ever see a photograph of his face.   

Though I think Ford would tire of Clef quite quickly, he’d be willing to give Clef more rope than Bright. I think Clef has a tendency to be kind of jammy and very funny, so I daresay Ford might be fonder of him than he’d let on and he wouldn’t feel as uncomfortable around him as he might with Bright’s 963 issue. Clef is also aroace! Yay!

Clef lies a lot though, so he might be more inclined to kick it with Stan than with Ford in terms of down time lol 

Onto Everett Mann. Dr Mann is said to have always felt like an outcast and he was also manipulated by an entity (Mr Lie) into doing something that put others at significant risk. I think he and Ford would have a kinship with that and they’d be friends. Technically, Clef killed Mann in one AU but whatever. No big deal. I think Mann is really funny and sweet, and he’d get on quite well with Ford. 

Honourable mentions for: 

Dr Elliott - known to be a too involved in the anomalies she works on and often gets fucked up by them because of it.  

Dr Glass, because obviously. We love Dr Glass in this house! I think Ford would always be wary around a psych professional but he’d be thrilled to hear about other SCP’s and understand their ways of thinking. I think Glass would also have a field day with Ford and he’d fill up at least 4 notebooks worth of psych-eval notes on him :) 

And there are more but there are SO many more that I can’t get all of them down here or I’ll be sitting at my PC forever. 

In terms of the actual anomalies that Ford becomes fond of:

Well, we have to start off with my absolute all-time favourite: SCP-507.

I highly recommend checking out Volgun’s video on him because it’s great. Frankly, all of Volgun’s videos are great if you’re interested in learning about SCP’s in a lore accurate way. 

SCP 507 is Ford’s special little guy. Ford LOVES him. Do I ship them? Kinda. That’s my business okay don’t judge me. 

In fact, I believe Ford likes him so strongly that I think when 507 requests a hug from personnel, following a traumatic shift, Ford is the one who grants it to him. I don’t care if the timelines don’t match up, I don’t care about anything that makes that impossible. I want 507 to get a hug and I think Ford gives great hugs. Ford would even volunteer to be his escort if he had the time to spare and I think he’d let 507 hang out in his lab sometimes. 

507 has always broken my heart because he’s so scared and so alone, and they won’t let him leave or really do much of anything. He really has nobody and he has 0 control over everything in his life, and I think that would resonate with Ford a lot. 

He’d be highly interested in SCP-2700 because it’s made by his All Time Fav hot scientist Nikola Tesla. While 2700 isn’t humanoid, I think Ford would be super geeked about it solely because it’s Tesla based haha.

I think Ford would also love SCP-1762 (aka ‘Where the dragons went’), too. I find 1762 to be a really sad story and I think others agree, and Ford would enjoy them. They’re cool (origami dragons fuck yeah) and cute, but also poignant. 

He’d be naturally curious about SCP-096 but obviously, due to its nature, would have to give up the ghost on that one. 

I think Stan would like SCP-1472 aka the Multiverse Strip Club. Naturally. He’d be at risk of wandering in but, respectfully, he ain’t going to Illinois. Not for all the strippers in the world. 

Like Researchers and other personnel, there are SO many SCP’s that I can’t even remember all of the ones I think would be most relevant/enjoyable for Ford so if you have something you think he’d like then please please hit me up because I’d love to talk about it with you!! 

Ultimately, I think Ford would do some great work and make friends with some of the more pleasant scientists, and he would really enjoy himself up until he stopped enjoying himself lol. I think he’d quickly realise how controlling the Foundation is and how they refuse to let anomalies be known to the public, rightly or wrongly, and Ford would refuse to play along with them. 

He’d be vocal about his disagreement with the treatment of some anomalies and with regard to the treatment of personnel, and he’d stand strongly against any corruption, which means he’d never see eye to eye with them. Many such cases, if you take the time to read the entries. 

So, they’d fire him or he’d walk out. You’d never know for sure because Ford would insist he left of his own accord and the Foundation would insist that they [REDACTED] so… It would be a mystery. 

And the Foundation would let him leave, by the way. Their knee jerk reaction would be to terminate him, of course, but he’d leave such an impression on some of the other scientists that they’d somehow manage to convince their higher-ups that Ford offered value that would be lost upon his death, so they should let him live and just try to monitor him instead. 

Ford, being Ford, would sniff out all the monitors every single time they tried to trace him and Stan (with his great knowledge of wire taps) would help him debug their house etc if they needed to. 

Eventually, the Foundation would say fuck it, this guy is annoying as fuck, and let Ford deal with his own containment specialisms while keeping a distant eye on him/Gravity Falls at large. 

….Can you tell this has been on my mind for a while? LMAO I’m so sorry this answer got sooooo out of hand but I love GF and SCP so much that I can’t help myself. I hope that as I get better at drawing I can make some crossover art for them because it would be too cute. Plus, like I said, I’m still considering writing this. I might make a reader one but also do a gen crossover because I think it would be a riot. 

If anyone else wants to make stuff on this then please do but pleeeeease tag me because I need to inject it straight into my veins. 

[enemiestolovershoe]

can i request a Matt x bsf!reader fic where the triplets and her and maybe a few friends do a roadtrip to do a camping trip or something and when it‘s chris turn to drive matt gets on the backseat beside you. you both get flirty pretty quickly. then at the bonfire they get a little touchy and then fuck in the tent as everyone got to sleep (or so they think) and the next morning chris and nick tease the shit out of them? :)

Tent of Temptation

Matt Sturniolo x bsf!reader

Summary: Y/N and Matt share a tense, intimate camping trip where unspoken feelings lead to a heated night in the tent, changing their relationship forever.

Words: 8k

Warnings. SMUT 18+, flirting, filth, use of yn, not proofread, lmk if you find more

The sun was just beginning to dip below the horizon as you pulled into the familiar driveway of the Sturniolo triplets’ house. Your car door creaked as you pushed it open, the cool evening air brushing against your skin. You didn’t bother knocking; after all, this place was practically a second home.

"Yo, look who it is!" Matt’s voice called from the kitchen the moment you stepped inside. He leaned casually against the counter, arms crossed and an unmistakable smirk playing on his lips. "Took you long enough. What, were you deciding which pair of leggings would impress me the most?"

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t hide the smile tugging at your lips. "Not everything’s about you, Matt."

"Sure, sure," he teased, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "But for the record, you chose right."

"Matt, leave her alone," Nick said, walking in from the living room with a grin. "You’re scaring her off before she even sits down."

Chris was the last to appear, a bowl of popcorn in hand. "Seriously, Matt, chill. She hasn’t even told us why she’s here yet."

"Maybe she missed me," Matt quipped, still watching you.

"Or maybe I’m bored out of my mind," you shot back, making your way to the couch and plopping down. "Speaking of which, we need to talk about that."

Nick raised a brow. "Bored? You’re hanging out with us. Problem solved."

"No, I mean, like... bored, bored," you emphasized, throwing a glance around the room. "We do the same thing every time I’m here—movies, snacks."

"Hey, the last one’s a highlight," Matt interrupted with a grin, earning himself a playful glare from you.

"Let her finish," Chris said, sitting beside you.

You sighed dramatically, throwing your arms out. "I want to do something different! Something fun, something spontaneous! Like... like a road trip!"

"A road trip?" Nick repeated, his expression instantly lighting up.

"With camping!" you added quickly. "I’ve always wanted to go to a campsite by a lake—somewhere beautiful, peaceful. Imagine all of us in the middle of nowhere with a bonfire, roasting marshmallows, and just... I don’t know, being outside for a change."

"Say less," Matt said immediately, straightening up. "I’m in."

"Wait, what?" You blinked at him, surprised by his instant enthusiasm.

Nick and Chris exchanged looks before nodding in unison.

"Of course, we’re in," Chris said as if it were obvious.

"It sounds sick," Nick agreed. "Road trips are always a vibe."

"Yeah, and if you’re lucky, maybe you’ll get to sit next to me in the car," Matt added with a wink.

You scoffed. "If I’m lucky? More like unlucky."

"Don’t fight it," he teased, leaning a little closer.

Chris smirked and looked between the two of you. "Are we going to plan or is this just gonna turn into the Matt and Y/N show?"

"Shut up," you and Matt said at the same time, earning laughter from both Nick and Chris.

"So, we’re actually doing this?" Nick asked, his tone laced with excitement.

"Absolutely," you said firmly, already picturing the adventure. "I’ll start looking up campsites."

"And I’ll make sure the cooler’s stocked," Matt added, his gaze lingering on you with a playful intensity.

"Can we at least survive one evening without flirting?" Chris muttered, shaking his head.

"Not a chance," Matt shot back, grinning.

“Today’s Thursday. Let’s go Saturday morning so we have tomorrow to buy tents and groceries,” you suggested, pulling your knees up to your chest as you got comfortable on the couch.

“Saturday works for me,” Chris said, nodding. “Gives us enough time to figure everything out.”

“Tents? Groceries?” Matt’s brows furrowed in mock confusion as he leaned against the armrest of the couch, dangerously close to your shoulder. “I thought we were just winging it—grab some sleeping bags, raid the snack drawer, and call it good.”

“Yeah, because that worked so well last time we tried to plan something,” Nick shot back, rolling his eyes.

“Last time was fine!” Matt argued, throwing up his hands.

“You forgot the flashlight, the bug spray, and the actual sleeping bags,” Nick reminded him with a laugh.

Chris chimed in. “And we ended up eating cold granola bars for dinner because you didn’t think we’d need to bring food.”

“Okay, first of all,” Matt started, holding up a finger, “granola bars are a perfectly acceptable meal. And second—”

“Second, you’re not in charge of anything this time,” you cut him off with a grin.

Matt looked at you, feigning offense. “You wound me, Y/N.”

“You’ll live,” you teased.

“Barely,” he shot back dramatically, his gaze lingering on you for a second too long before he smirked. “But only if you promise to help me with the tent.”

“I’ll think about it,” you said with a shrug, trying to ignore the way your cheeks warmed under his playful stare.

Chris clapped his hands, pulling everyone’s attention. “Okay, so tents, groceries, a cooler for drinks, and a portable grill for cooking—what else?”

“Bug spray,” Nick said immediately.

“Flashlights,” Chris added.

“A playlist,” Matt said, leaning back with a satisfied grin.

Nick snorted. “Of course, that’s where your priorities are.”

“Hey, road trips need vibes,” Matt argued, shrugging. “I’ll even make it. Trust me, it’ll be fire.”

“That’s debatable,” you teased.

“Bet,” Matt said, raising a brow at you. “If it’s not the best playlist you’ve ever heard, you can... I don’t know, make me cook all the meals.”

“You cook?” you asked, skeptical.

He grinned. “For you? Sure.”

Chris groaned. “God, get a room already.”

“I’m literally sitting right here,” you said, throwing a pillow at him.

“So, we’re all set on supplies?” Nick interjected, trying to keep things on track.

“Not quite,” you said, a new idea forming in your head. “What if we invited more people? Like Sam and Colby?”

“Sam and Colby?” Chris repeated, his interest piqued.

“Yeah,” you said. “They’re always talking about how much they love the outdoors. Plus, they’d bring good energy.”

“And chaos,” Matt muttered, though he didn’t sound opposed.

“Come on, Matt,” you said with a grin. “You love chaos.”

“Fair point,” he admitted. “Who else?”

“Jake, Tara, Johnnie, and Carrington,” you added. “The more, the merrier, right?”

Nick looked thoughtful. “That could actually be fun. It’d feel like a whole squad trip.”

Chris nodded in agreement. “I like it. Plus, the more people we have, the less work for everyone. Sam and Colby can bring some of their ghost-hunting gear, too—imagine the stories we’d get around the fire.”

“Leave it to Chris to make camping spooky,” Matt said, shaking his head. “But fine, I’m in.”

“Of course, you’re in,” Nick said, smirking. “You’d go wherever Y/N goes.”

Matt didn’t miss a beat. “And you wouldn’t?”

Nick opened his mouth to argue but decided against it, raising his hands in surrender.

You laughed, shaking your head. “Okay, so we’ll text everyone tonight and see who’s in. Sound good?”

“Perfect,” Chris said.

“Better than perfect,” Matt added, leaning a little closer. “Especially since it means I get to spend a whole weekend annoying you.”

“Or I could just leave you at the campsite,” you quipped.

“You wouldn’t dare,” he said, his grin widening.

“You wanna bet?”

“Bet,” he said, his tone challenging but playful.

Chris groaned. “This is gonna be the longest road trip of my life.”

After hours of tossing around ideas and playful banter, the four of you decided to call it a night. The excitement of the impromptu camping trip had everyone buzzing, but you all knew you’d need the next day to prep.

You stretched your arms above your head and let out a yawn as Chris turned off the TV. “I’ll just crash here tonight,” you said, glancing at Nick. “That way, we can hit Target first thing tomorrow morning.”

Nick nodded, already standing up and stretching. “Makes sense. You know the spare blankets are in the hall closet.”

“Don’t even think about it,” you replied, narrowing your eyes. “I’m stealing your bed tonight. Your floor is all yours.”

Nick laughed. “Oh, is that how this works now?”

“Yes,” you said with a smug grin, crossing your arms.

“Fine, whatever,” Nick said with a dramatic sigh, heading toward the stairs. “I’ll sleep on the floor like the peasant I am. You’re lucky you’re my best friend.”

Chris smirked, grabbing the empty popcorn bowl. “If you two are done squabbling, I’m going to bed.”

Matt, who had been uncharacteristically quiet for the past few minutes, finally spoke up as he leaned against the doorway. “You know, if you wanted a real bed, Y/N, you could’ve just asked to share mine.” His grin was sly, and his eyes gleamed with mischief.

Your eyes narrowed at him, though you couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped. “In your dreams, Matty.”

“Every night,” Matt shot back, his tone dripping with playfulness.

“Okay, goodnight!” you said loudly, cutting off whatever comment was about to leave his mouth.

As Nick led you to his room, he glanced over his shoulder and smirked. “So… Matt, huh?”

You groaned. “What now?”

“You know what,” he said, stepping aside to let you into his room. “He’s been glued to you all night.”

You rolled your eyes, grabbing one of Nick’s hoodies from the back of his chair and pulling it over your head. “Matt’s always like that. He lives to annoy me.”

“Not like that,” Nick said, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. “You seriously didn’t notice how flirty he was tonight?”

“Flirty?” you repeated, pausing mid-motion as you sat on the edge of his bed. “Matt? With me?”

Nick nodded, his expression serious but amused. “Like, extra flirty. He couldn’t stop staring at you. And the comments? Come on.”

You frowned, pulling your knees to your chest. “I don’t know… That’s just Matt being Matt, right? He teases everyone.”

“Yeah, but not like that,” Nick said. “Trust me, I’ve seen him flirt with other people, and this was different. He’s never that... persistent.”

You groaned again, burying your face in your hands. “I don’t know, Nick. Maybe he’s just messing with me.”

Nick chuckled. “If he is, he’s committing to the bit. And for the record, I don’t think he’s just messing with you.”

You peeked at him through your fingers, your voice muffled. “Why does this feel like high school all over again?”

Nick shrugged, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “Because Matt has the emotional range of a teenager when it comes to you?”

You threw a pillow at him, your face burning. “Shut up.”

He laughed, dodging the pillow with ease. “I’m just saying, don’t be surprised if this trip gets... interesting.”

“Define ‘interesting,’” you said, narrowing your eyes.

“Let’s just say I wouldn’t be shocked if Matt tries to ‘accidentally’ share a tent with you,” Nick said, his grin widening.

“Absolutely not,” you said firmly, though the thought made your stomach flip in a way you couldn’t quite understand.

“Whatever you say,” Nick said, moving to grab a spare blanket from the closet. “But if he does, you owe me twenty bucks.”

“You’re so annoying,” you muttered, burying your face in the blanket as Nick laughed.

As the two of you settled in for the night, you couldn’t help but replay the evening’s interactions in your mind. Matt’s playful comments, the way his eyes lingered a little longer than usual—it all made your head spin.

You didn’t have a clue what had gotten into him, but Nick’s words stayed with you as you drifted off to sleep.

The smell of coffee brewing filled the Sturniolo kitchen as you stood by the stove, flipping pancakes onto a plate. The clock on the microwave read 8:12 AM, and the house was still quiet, save for the occasional creak of the old floors. You figured the boys deserved a little extra sleep before the chaos of the day began, so you’d taken it upon yourself to make breakfast.

By the time the bacon was sizzling, you heard the faint shuffle of footsteps behind you. Turning around, you saw Chris rubbing his eyes as he trudged into the kitchen.

“Good morning, Chef Y/N,” he mumbled, sitting at the island and resting his chin on his hand. “What’s all this?”

“Figured I’d make breakfast,” you said, sliding a plate in front of him. “Gotta fuel up for Target.”

Chris perked up, grabbing a fork. “You’re the best, you know that?”

“I do,” you teased, turning back to the stove.

One by one, Nick and Matt stumbled into the kitchen, their messy hair and half-open eyes telling you they were still waking up.

“Pancakes?!” Nick exclaimed, immediately reaching for a plate.

“Don’t touch mine,” Matt warned, sitting across from Chris and shooting a grin your way. “You really outdid yourself, Y/N. If you keep this up, I might have to keep you around permanently.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Keep me around? You’re lucky I haven’t left yet.”

Matt smirked, leaning back in his chair. “You’d miss me too much.”

Chris rolled his eyes. “Can you two not start flirting before 9 AM?”

Nick snorted, taking a big bite of his pancake. “Flirting? They’ve been doing this since yesterday. It’s like a bad sitcom.”

“Don’t encourage them,” Chris added with a groan.

“I’m sitting right here,” you said, placing the last of the bacon on a plate. “And for the record, Matt’s not my type.”

“Wow,” Matt said, clutching his chest dramatically. “That one hurt, Y/N.”

“You’ll survive,” you said with a smirk.

Once everyone was settled at the table, Chris cleared his throat. “By the way, I texted with Sam and Colby this morning. They’re in for the trip.”

You grinned. “Perfect. I’ll text Tara, Jake, Johnnie, and Carrington.”

Nick gave you a thumbs up as he stuffed his face with bacon, and Matt raised an eyebrow. “So, it’s gonna be a full-on party then?”

“Basically,” you said, pulling out your phone. “More people, more fun.”

It didn’t take long for your friends to respond. Tara was especially enthusiastic, sending a string of emojis in her reply, while Jake kept it simple with a thumbs-up. Johnnie and Carrington quickly followed with texts that said they wouldn’t miss it for the world.

“Okay,” you said, setting your phone down. “Everyone’s in.”

Two hours later, after cleaning up and getting ready, the four of you piled into Matt’s car. Chris took the driver’s seat, Matt claimed the front passenger side, and you were sandwiched in the back with Nick.

“You know, I could drive,” Matt said as Chris pulled out of the driveway.

Chris shot him a look. “You don’t trust me?”

“Not even a little,” Matt replied, grinning.

“Good,” Chris said with a smirk. “It’s mutual.”

The ride to Target was filled with music and bickering, mostly between Nick and Matt. By the time you arrived, you were more than ready to stretch your legs and get shopping.

“Okay,” you said as the four of you stood near the entrance. “We should probably split up. Matt and I can grab the camping equipment, and you two can handle the food.”

“Why do you get Matt?” Nick asked, crossing his arms.

“Because she can’t resist me,” Matt quipped, earning himself a glare from Nick.

“You’re insufferable,” you muttered, grabbing Matt by the arm and dragging him toward the outdoor section.

“You love it,” he replied, a smug grin on his face.

The two of you walked through the aisles, pausing at the camping section. Matt immediately gravitated toward the tents, running his hand over one of the packages. “So, what are we thinking? Something roomy?”

“Something functional,” you corrected, scanning the options.

Matt picked up a box with a picture of a two-person tent on the front. “This one’s perfect—for you and me.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “Yeah, no.”

“What? It makes sense,” he said, holding up the box. “We’d only need one tent for the both of us. Saves money, saves space—”

“And puts me in a nightmare,” you interrupted, grabbing a different box. “We’re getting four double tents. One for each.”

Matt sighed dramatically, placing the box back on the shelf. “Fine. But when you get scared in the middle of the night and come running to my tent, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

You rolled your eyes, tossing a box into the cart. “You wish.”

“I do,” he replied smoothly, his smirk widening.

You ignored him and moved down the aisle to grab a few sleeping bags, though you could feel his gaze following you.

“You know,” Matt said as he picked up a lantern, “this whole trip would be way less fun without me.”

“You keep telling yourself that,” you said, trying to hide your smile.

By the time the two of you finished gathering camping supplies, you had a cart full of tents, sleeping bags, lanterns, and a portable stove. You met back up with Chris and Nick at the front of the store, their cart overflowing with snacks and groceries.

“Did you buy the entire snack aisle?” Matt asked, eyeing their cart.

“Don’t act like you’re not impressed,” Nick shot back, grinning.

Chris shrugged. “We like to be prepared.”

“Whatever,” you said, waving them off. “Let’s just check out and get this stuff loaded up.”

Saturday morning started early with alarms blaring at 6 AM. The house buzzed with energy as you and the triplets prepared for the road trip. Bags were double-checked, coolers filled, and snacks packed into the already-loaded Sturniolo van. By 8 AM sharp, you were on the road, and the excitement was palpable.

Matt took the first driving shift, with Chris riding shotgun. As usual, you sat in the middle row with Nick. But before pulling out of the driveway, Matt turned around in his seat, catching your eye.

“Y/N, if you want to switch spots with Nick, I’d be happy to have you closer,” he said with a wink.

Nick groaned. “Could you not?”

“Just offering,” Matt said, smirking as he started the van.

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the smile creeping onto your face.

By the time Matt pulled into the first stop around 10:15 AM, you were all more than ready to stretch your legs.

“Alright, pit stop,” Matt announced, turning off the engine. “Get whatever you need, but don’t take forever. We’ve got places to be.”

“Translation: Matt wants to rush so he can flirt with Y/N some more,” Chris muttered, earning a laugh from Nick.

“Jealousy isn’t a good look on you, Chris,” Matt shot back, opening his door.

Everyone piled out of the van, and you immediately headed toward the convenience store to grab a drink and find the bathroom. As you browsed the drink cooler, you spotted Tara, Jake, Johnnie, and Carrington walking in.

“Look who decided to show up,” you teased as Tara ran up to hug you.

“Traffic was a nightmare,” Jake said, looking exasperated.

Johnnie grinned. “But we’re here now, and that’s all that matters.”

“Ready to rough it?” Carrington asked, grabbing a water bottle.

“More than ready,” you replied. “Let’s go outside before the guys start calling us.”

By the time you all regrouped at the parking lot, the energy was electric. Everyone was buzzing about the trip, and Tara was already planning photo ops for Instagram.

Matt leaned against the van, waiting for you with his signature smirk. “Took you long enough. Miss me?”

“Desperately,” you said dryly, brushing past him to put your drink in the cup holder.

As everyone settled back into their cars, Matt and Chris swapped places. Chris took over driving duties, with Nick calling shotgun this time. Matt, however, was quick to make his move, sliding into the backseat.

“Looks like it’s just us back here,” Matt said, buckling his seatbelt and giving you a playful nudge.

You sighed, trying to suppress a smile. “You could’ve stayed in the front.”

“And miss out on this quality time? No way,” he replied, leaning back and stretching his legs slightly. His knee brushed against yours, but he didn’t move away.

As the van pulled out of the rest stop, Matt leaned closer, his voice low so the others wouldn’t hear. “You know, this seat’s way more comfortable with you next to me.”

You turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow. “What’s your deal today? Did you eat extra sugar or something?”

“Can’t a guy just enjoy spending time with his favorite person?” he teased, his gaze flickering to yours.

“Favorite person?” you echoed, trying not to laugh. “Pretty sure that title belongs to Nick.”

Matt scoffed. “Nick wishes.”

“Hey!” Nick called from the front seat, craning his neck to look back. “What’re you two whispering about?”

“Nothing you need to worry about,” Matt replied smoothly, giving Nick a dismissive wave.

Chris glanced in the rearview mirror, clearly unimpressed. “Matt, if you keep this up, I’m kicking you out of the van.”

“Good luck finding someone else to charm Y/N,” Matt quipped, leaning back with a satisfied grin.

You rolled your eyes, though you couldn’t deny the warmth creeping into your cheeks. For the next two hours, Matt kept up his antics, finding every excuse to lean closer or make some offhand comment that had you alternating between laughing and swatting him away.

By the time the van rolled into the campsite at 12:00 PM, you were equal parts annoyed and amused. As you stepped out and stretched, the others arrived in their cars, honking and waving.

The adventure was officially underway.

The group got to work setting up the tents, the campsite buzzing with activity as everyone figured out where to set up. Matt wasted no time staking out the spot directly next to yours.

“Dibs on this spot,” he announced loudly, dropping his bag dramatically beside your tent.

You raised an eyebrow. “You’re awfully territorial for someone who just spent two hours driving.”

“Gotta keep an eye on you,” he said with a grin. “Make sure you don’t wander off and get lost.”

Nick rolled his eyes, setting up his tent on your other side. “More like he’s worried about someone else staking their tent here first.”

Chris, unbothered, pitched his tent next to Nick’s. “Yeah, because everyone’s just dying to camp next to Y/N.”

“Excuse me,” you said, feigning offense. “I’m an excellent tent neighbor.”

Matt leaned closer, his voice dropping to a mock whisper. “Don’t listen to them. I think you’re perfect.”

You groaned, trying to ignore the way your cheeks heated. “Focus on your tent before you end up sleeping under the stars.”

Sam and Colby were already laughing as they unrolled their shared tent on the other side of the campsite, while Tara, Jake, Johnnie, and Carrington wrestled with the poles of their massive four-person tent.

“This is like one of those team-building exercises,” Carrington joked, holding one end of the tent. “Except nobody knows what they’re doing.”

“Speak for yourself,” Jake shot back. “I’m practically a professional.”

Tara snorted. “Professional at what? Tangling ropes?”

Despite the banter, the tents slowly started taking shape, and once yours was done, you decided to take a break. The pull of the lake a little ways off was too strong to resist, and you headed there alone, enjoying the quiet as the others continued setting up.

The lake was stunning, its surface shimmering under the midday sun. You sat down on the grassy shore, taking a deep breath. As peaceful as it was, you couldn’t shake the strange knot in your stomach.

“Hey,” a familiar voice called out, startling you. You turned to see Matt walking toward you, his expression soft but curious. “What’s wrong, Y/N?”

“Nothing,” you said quickly, though you weren’t convincing anyone, least of all Matt.

He sat down beside you on the ground, his knee brushing yours. “Come on. You don’t wander off like this unless something’s on your mind.”

You hesitated, looking out at the water. “I… I don’t know what’s going on, Matt.”

“What do you mean?” His brow furrowed as he leaned in slightly.

You sighed, struggling to find the words. “You flirting with me, Matt. You’ve never done that before, and we’ve been friends since kindergarten. But these past few weeks… it’s like you’ve flipped a switch or something.”

Matt stared at you for a moment, his mouth opening as if to speak, but no words came out. Finally, he let out a frustrated laugh, running a hand through his hair. “I… I… Fuck, can I just show you?”

You blinked at him, taken aback by his sudden intensity. “Show me?”

“Do you trust me?” he asked softly, his eyes meeting yours.

You hesitated for only a moment before nodding.

Matt didn’t wait for any more confirmation. He leaned in, his hand brushing against your cheek as his lips met yours. The kiss was tentative at first, almost testing the waters. You froze for a second, surprised, but the warmth of his touch and the sincerity behind it melted your hesitation.

Before long, you kissed him back, the tentative nature of it quickly giving way to something more urgent. Matt’s hand slid to the back of your neck, pulling you closer as his other hand rested on the ground beside you for support.

The world around you seemed to fade until the sound of someone clearing their throat behind you brought you both crashing back to reality.

You broke apart, whipping your head around to see Tara standing there, arms crossed and an amused smirk plastered on her face.

“I just wanted to let you guys know that lunch is ready,” she said, her tone teasing. “But I guess you were about to have your own lunch if I hadn’t caught you.”

Your cheeks burned as Matt groaned, dropping his head into his hands. “Tara…”

“Relax,” she said, waving a hand. “I’m not going to say anything.”

“Please don’t,” Matt said quickly, looking up at her. “Not yet.”

You nodded, your voice small. “Yes, please, Tara.”

Tara grinned and stepped forward, pulling you into a quick hug. “Of course, babes. Your secret’s safe with me.”

She shot Matt a knowing look before turning on her heel and walking back toward the campsite, leaving the two of you in stunned silence.

Matt ran a hand through his hair and let out a small sigh as he stood, brushing dirt off his shorts. “We’ll talk later, yeah?” he said softly, extending a hand to you.

You hesitated for a second before slipping your hand into his. His grip was firm and steady, and you let him pull you to your feet.

“Yeah,” you replied quietly, your heart still racing from everything that had just happened.

Hand in hand, you started walking back toward the campsite. Neither of you said much, but the silence wasn’t awkward. It felt… natural. His thumb brushed against the back of your hand a few times, and you could feel his warmth even in the cool afternoon breeze.

As the tents came into view, Matt slowed his pace slightly. You followed his lead, only letting go of his hand when you were close enough for the others to potentially see.

The rest of the day passed without much fanfare. Everyone was too busy settling in, unpacking, and making plans for the weekend to notice the lingering looks Matt kept shooting your way—or the way your gaze seemed to find him, no matter where he was.

By the time dinner rolled around, the group was gathered at the makeshift dining area near the firepit. The meal was simple but satisfying, and everyone chatted animatedly about their plans for tomorrow.

“I’m calling dibs on the best fishing spot,” Jake announced, pointing a fork at everyone.

“You don’t even know where the fishing spots are,” Chris countered, rolling his eyes.

“That’s why we’re exploring tomorrow,” Tara chimed in, nudging Jake.

As the conversation flowed, Matt’s shoulder brushed against yours, and you felt him subtly tap your leg with his knee under the table. When you glanced at him, he gave you a small, knowing smile, like you were sharing a secret no one else was privy to.

After dinner, the group moved to the bonfire, the flames crackling and casting warm, flickering light over everyone. The smell of burning wood filled the air as you settled into the circle of camping chairs. Unsurprisingly, Matt plopped down in the seat beside you.

The firelight highlighted the relaxed expression on his face, but you didn’t miss the way he kept stealing glances at you. Every now and then, his hand would brush yours as he adjusted in his seat, or his knee would bump yours as he leaned over to grab something.

“Hey, Y/N, you want a s'more?” Matt asked suddenly, holding out the makings of one.

You smiled. “Sure, thanks.”

He handed it to you, his fingers lingering just a little too long on yours. Chris, sitting across the fire, narrowed his eyes suspiciously but said nothing, instead turning his attention back to Sam and Colby, who were deep in conversation about tomorrow’s hike.

As the night wore on, one by one, people began calling it a night.

“I’m wiped,” Nick announced, stretching and yawning. “See you all in the morning.”

“Same,” Tara agreed, standing up and brushing off her shorts. “Don’t stay up too late, you two,” she added with a knowing smirk in your direction.

Once the others had all retreated to their tents, it was just you and Matt left by the fire. The crackling flames filled the silence as you both stared into the embers, the unspoken tension from earlier hanging between you.

“So,” Matt said after a moment, his voice quiet but steady. “About earlier…”

You glanced at him, your stomach flipping at the serious look in his eyes. “Yeah?”

He shifted slightly in his chair, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees. “I know I kind of blindsided you with… all of that. I didn’t mean to freak you out.”

“You didn’t freak me out,” you said quickly, though your voice came out softer than you intended. “I was just… surprised, I guess.”

Matt nodded slowly, his gaze flickering between your eyes and the fire. “I’ve been wanting to say something for a while now, but I didn’t know how. And then, today, it just felt like… if I didn’t do something, I was gonna lose my mind.”

You swallowed hard, your heart pounding in your chest. “Say something like what?”

He exhaled, running a hand through his hair. “Like… I like you, Y/N. More than a friend. More than I probably should. And I know we’ve been friends forever, and I don’t want to mess that up, but I can’t keep pretending I don’t feel this way.”

His words hung in the air, heavy and raw. You felt a lump form in your throat as you tried to process what he was saying.

“Matt…” you started, your voice trailing off as you struggled to find the right words.

“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same,” he said quickly, his voice laced with vulnerability. “I just… I needed you to know.”

You hesitated for only a moment before the words tumbled out of your mouth. “I like you too, Matt.”

Matt froze, his eyes widening slightly as he processed what you said. Slowly, a smile broke across his face, one of those genuine, heart-stopping smiles that made your chest tighten.

“You do?” he asked softly, like he needed to hear it again to believe it.

You nodded, biting your lip to keep from smiling too much. “Yeah, I do. And… I think I have for a while.”

Matt let out a breathy laugh, shaking his head. “God, you have no idea how happy that makes me.”

Before you could respond, he leaned in again, his lips finding yours with a newfound confidence. This time, the kiss was less tentative, more assured. His hand cupped your face, his thumb brushing against your cheek as he pulled you closer.

You melted into him, the warmth of the fire and the feel of his lips making your head spin. Time seemed to slow as the kiss deepened, his other hand resting lightly on your thigh.

You broke apart briefly, both of you catching your breath. Matt rested his forehead against yours, his voice low and slightly raspy. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long.”

You smiled, your fingers lightly tracing the back of his neck. “So have I.”

The fire crackled softly, the world around you fading away again as his lips met yours once more. This time, the kiss grew more heated, his hands sliding down to your waist as you leaned closer into him.

“Matt,” you whispered against his lips, your voice barely audible.

He pulled back just enough to meet your eyes, his gaze filled with both concern and desire. “Yeah?”

“I need you,” you said softly, your cheeks flushing at your own boldness.

Matt’s breath hitched, his eyes searching yours for a moment. “You sure?”

You nodded, your voice steady this time. “Yeah. 100%.”

His lips curved into a small smile before he pressed them to yours again, this time with more urgency. Without breaking the kiss, he stood, pulling you gently to your feet.

“Let’s go,” he murmured, his hand intertwining with yours as he led you toward your tent.

As soon as the zipper of your tent was sealed, Matt turned to you, his eyes scanning your face like he couldn’t believe this was happening. He didn’t waste a second before his lips were on yours again, the kiss filled with a mix of hunger and tenderness.

Your hands instinctively found their way to his hair, tugging gently as he deepened the kiss. His hands rested on your waist, fingers toying with the hem of your sweatshirt as if silently asking for permission.

You pulled back just enough to catch your breath, your forehead resting against his. “You’re not wasting any time, are you?” you teased, your voice breathless.

Matt chuckled softly, his lips brushing against yours as he spoke. “Can you blame me? I’ve been dreaming about this moment for years.”

His words sent a shiver down your spine, and without a second thought, you reached for the hem of your sweatshirt, tugging it over your head in one swift motion. Left in just your tank top and shorts, you felt a slight rush of nerves, but the way Matt’s eyes darkened with admiration erased any insecurity.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper as his hands slid up your sides, resting just below your ribs.

Your cheeks burned at his words, but you didn’t have time to respond before his lips were back on yours, more insistent this time. You tugged at the hem of his shirt, signaling him to take it off.

“Off,” you muttered against his mouth, making him grin.

“Yes, ma’am,” Matt said playfully, pulling back briefly to yank his shirt over his head and toss it aside. His toned chest was on full display, the firelight from outside casting faint shadows that made him look impossibly good.

Your hands immediately found his skin, exploring the warmth of his chest and the faint muscles of his abdomen. He shivered slightly under your touch, his breath hitching as your fingers grazed a particularly sensitive spot.

“Not fair,” he mumbled, his hands slipping under the hem of your tank top. “You’re wearing too much.”

“Then do something about it,” you challenged, a teasing smile playing on your lips.

He grinned, his confidence returning as he slowly lifted your tank top, his fingers brushing against your skin and sending sparks through your body. Once it was off, he tossed it aside and took a moment to look at you, his eyes softening.

“You’re perfect,” he said sincerely, his voice laced with both awe and affection.

You felt your cheeks flush again, but before you could respond, his lips found yours once more. His hands roamed your back, pulling you closer until there was almost no space between you.

The heat between you both was growing, your kisses becoming more passionate as his fingers traced the waistband of your shorts. You mirrored his actions, your hands moving to his waistband, tugging slightly to signal your impatience.

“Someone’s eager,” Matt teased, pulling back just enough to meet your gaze.

“Shut up,” you shot back, though your smile betrayed your playful tone.

Laughing softly, Matt hooked his fingers into the waistband of your shorts, slowly sliding them down. You kicked them off to the side, leaving you in just your underwear. He quickly followed suit, shedding his own shorts and leaving the both of you equally vulnerable.

The air inside the tent felt electric, the weight of what was about to happen hanging in the space between you.

“Are you really sure about this?” Matt’s voice was low, almost a whisper, as his eyes searched yours for any sign of hesitation. The flickering firelight from outside the tent cast soft shadows across his face, highlighting the nervous edge in his expression.

You nodded, your breath catching as his hands moved slowly, deliberately, brushing against your skin as they slid behind your back. His fingers trembled slightly as they found the clasp of your bra, pausing for just a moment. It was as if he was giving you one last chance to change your mind, his touch tentative yet electrifying.

“I am,” you whispered, your voice steady despite the wild beating of your heart.

Matt let out a quiet exhale, leaning in closer as he carefully undid the clasp, his lips curving into a faint smile.

The moment your bra slipped away, Matt’s hesitation vanished. His hands gently traced your sides before his lips found their way to your chest. He kissed your skin softly at first, then with growing hunger, his mouth closed around your sensitive peak.

A sharp gasp escaped your lips as he sucked gently, his tongue teasing in ways that sent shivers coursing through your body. His hands anchored firmly at your waist, pulling you closer as his mouth explored you with an intensity that left you breathless. Each flick of his tongue and graze of his lips ignited a fire that seemed to consume the space between you.

Completely lost in the moment, your hands began to wander, sliding down to rest against Matt’s hips. Your fingers traced over the waistband of his underwear before moving lower, feeling the heat radiating through the fabric.

You began to rub him gently, eliciting a low, shaky groan from Matt that only spurred you on. His head tilted back slightly, his eyes fluttering shut as he let himself give in to the sensation. The way his breath hitched with every movement of your hand sent a thrill through you, the tension between you growing impossibly thicker with every passing second.

"As much as I’m enjoying this, baby," Matt murmured, his voice low and laced with desire, his lips brushing against your ear. "We’re gonna have to skip the foreplay—and you’ll need to be quiet for me. Can you do that, hmm?"

His words were both a plea and a challenge, the suggestive edge in his tone making your pulse race. "We don’t want the others to hear, yeah?" he added, a teasing smirk playing on his lips as his gaze locked with yours, dark and full of promise.

You quickly nodded, your breath hitching as your hands slid Matt’s boxers down his thighs, exposing him fully. With a deep inhale, you pushed your own underwear off, leaving you both bare—completely vulnerable before each other.

Matt’s gaze roamed over you, his eyes filled with awe and something deeper. “You’re so beautiful, Y/N,” he whispered, his voice barely audible, as if he couldn’t believe his luck.

A soft smile curved your lips as you reached up to touch his face. “You’re not so bad yourself, Matty,” you teased, your tone light but filled with affection.

He leaned down, capturing your lips in a kiss that was both tender and passionate, pulling you closer as if he never wanted to let go. The kiss deepened, filled with unspoken emotions, before Matt gently guided you onto your back. His body hovered over yours, his weight settling just enough to feel the warmth of his skin against yours, as the moment wrapped around you like a cocoon of intimacy.

You both lost yourselves in a heated kiss, your lips moving together with a mix of urgency and tenderness. Matt’s hand trailed down your body, his fingers finding your core with ease. He stroked your slit with deliberate, teasing movements, spreading your arousal.

“You’re so wet for me, baby,” he murmured, his voice husky and filled with desire.

“Just for you, Matty,” you whispered back, your voice breathy and trembling with anticipation.

Matt positioned himself, the tip of him pressing against your entrance. He paused for a moment, his eyes meeting yours, searching for reassurance. When you gave a small nod, he pushed in slowly, drawing a low groan from deep within his chest.

“God, you’re so tight,” he gasped, his voice strained with the effort of holding back.

“So big,” you moaned softly, your hands gripping his shoulders as your body adjusted to him. The stretch was intense but intoxicating, and every sensation seemed to heighten the connection between you.

“Fuck, I wish we were alone right now,” Matt grunted, his voice a mix of frustration and raw desire as he moved inside you, his thrusts slow but deliberate. “I want to hear those little noises you make so bad.”

A quiet whimper escaped your lips, barely audible as you clung to him, your nails grazing his back. “Me too, Matty,” you whispered, your breath hitching as he angled his hips just right. “Needed you so bad.”

His movements faltered slightly, his lips brushing against your ear as he let out a low growl. “When we’re home, I’m not holding back,” he promised, his tone dark and dripping with intent. “I’m going to make you scream my name, over and over again, baby.”

“Yes, please,” you moaned softly, your voice trembling with anticipation as your body melted beneath his.

Matt’s lips found yours again, his kiss hungry and unrelenting. “You drive me insane, you know that?” he muttered against your mouth, his hands gripping your hips as he buried himself deeper. “You’re all I ever think about.”

The confession sent a wave of heat through you, your heart pounding in sync with his movements. “Matty,” you breathed, cupping his face and forcing him to meet your gaze. “You mean everything to me. I don’t think I could ever want anyone else.”

His eyes softened for a moment, the intensity of his feelings shining through as he leaned his forehead against yours. “You have no idea how much I love you,” he murmured, his voice cracking slightly.

Your response was instant, your hands threading through his hair. “Then show me,” you whispered, your voice laced with emotion.

And he did, pouring every unspoken word into each touch, each kiss, and every movement as if the rest of the world didn’t exist.

Your hips moved instinctively, rising to meet his as his rhythm grew relentless, the heat between you building to a fever pitch. His breath was hot against your ear, his voice strained and commanding as he growled, "If you grind into me just like that again, I swear I'll fill you so deep you’ll feel me for days."

The raw need in his tone sent a shiver down your spine, your hands clutching at his shoulders for support. "Yes, Matty," you whimpered, your voice trembling with desperation. "Please, I’m so close... I need you."

He groaned in response, his lips brushing against your jawline, leaving a trail of searing kisses down your neck. “You need me, huh?” he murmured, his pace quickening. “Say it again. Tell me exactly what you need.”

Your body arched into him, unable to resist the magnetic pull of his touch. “I need you to make me cum,” you gasped, your voice breaking as the tension coiled tighter within you. “Please, Matty. I want all of you.”

“God, you’re perfect,” he muttered, his hands gripping your hips as he thrust harder, deeper, the sound of your mingled breaths filling the room like a melody of desire. His voice dropped lower, rough and full of need as he whispered, “You feel so good. You take me so perfectly—every inch of you was made for me.”

The raw passion in his words sent a wave of pleasure rolling through you, your nails digging into his back as your body moved in perfect sync with his. “Matty,” you gasped, your voice trembling as you felt the edge drawing nearer, “I’m going to—”

“Not yet,” he interrupted, his tone commanding yet tender as he slowed his pace just enough to keep you teetering on the brink. “I want to feel you lose control completely when you let go. Hold it for me a little longer, love.”

You whimpered in protest, the ache in your core almost unbearable. “I can’t,” you pleaded, your voice breaking with desperation. “Please, Matty. I need to cum.”

His eyes locked onto yours, dark and intense, as he leaned in to capture your lips in a searing kiss. “Then cum,” he murmured against your mouth, his thrusts growing wild and relentless. “Let go for me now, baby. I’ve got you.”

The words shattered what little control you had left, your release crashing over you like a tidal wave. Your body trembled as he held you close, his own release following moments later, his groan vibrating through your skin as he spilled into you, his name spilling from your lips like a prayer.

For a moment, there was only the sound of your ragged breaths and the warmth of his body enveloping you. His fingers traced lazy circles on your skin as he whispered, “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted and more.”

You smiled softly, your head resting against his chest. “And you, Matty, are everything I didn’t know I needed.”

He chuckled, pressing a tender kiss to your temple. “Good, because I’m never letting you go.”

The world faded away as you lay together, completely undone yet utterly whole in each other’s arms. His hand rested lightly on your waist, his chest rising and falling with every breath. Matt let out a quiet laugh, breaking the comfortable silence.

"Wow... that was just... wow," he said, his voice breathy but full of awe.

You smiled, still trying to catch your breath. "Yeah, we should definitely do that again," you teased, but the words faltered when you heard a loud voice from outside the tent.

"No! You two, go to sleep now," Nick yelled, clearly trying to sound stern, but his voice was thick with amusement. That fucker is trying not to laugh. "You weren’t as quiet as you thought. You can... uh, 'have fun' as much as you want when we’re back home. But not here!"

Your face flushed immediately, and you quickly buried it in Matt’s neck, unable to hide the embarrassment. Matt chuckled, his fingers gently running through your hair, trying to calm you down.

"Guess we're up for some major teasing tomorrow, huh, baby?" Matt whispered in your ear, his voice full of mischief.

You groaned, too embarrassed to even look up, but you could hear the laughter of the others outside. "I swear, I’ll never live this down."

“You’re so in for it when we get home.”

Taglist: @sophand4n4

[carlos-tk]

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[5ummit]

AO3 Ship Stats: Year In Bad Data

You may have seen this AO3 Year In Review.

It hasn’t crossed my tumblr dash but it sure is circulating on twitter with 3.5M views, 10K likes, 17K retweets and counting. Normally this would be great! I love data and charts and comparisons!

Except this data is GARBAGE and belongs in the TRASH.

I first noticed something fishy when I realized that Steve/Bucky – the 5th largest ship on AO3 by total fic count – wasn’t on this Top 100 list anywhere. I know Marvel’s popularity has fallen in recent years, but not that much. Especially considering some of the other ships that made it on the list. You mean to tell me a femslash HP ship (Mary MacDonald/Lily Potter) in which one half of the pairing was so minor I had to look up her name because she was only mentioned once in a single flashback scene beat fandom juggernaut Stucky? I call bullshit.

Now obviously jumping to conclusions based on gut instinct alone is horrible practice... but it is a good place to start. So let’s look at the actual numbers and discover why this entire dataset sits on a throne of lies.

Here are the results of filtering the Steve/Bucky tag for all works created between Jan 1, 2023 and Dec 31, 2023:

Not only would that place Steve/Bucky at #23 on this list, if the other counts are correct (hint: they're not), it’s also well above the 1520-new-work cutoff of the #100 spot. So how the fuck is it not on the list? Let’s check out the author’s FAQ to see if there’s some important factor we’re missing.

The first thing you’ll probably notice in the FAQ is that the data is being scraped from publicly available works. That means anything privated and only accessible to logged-in users isn’t counted. This is Sin #1. Already the data is inaccurate because we’re not actually counting all of the published fics, but the bots needed to do data collection on this scale can't easily scrape privated fics so I kinda get it. We’ll roll with this for now and see if it at least makes the numbers make more sense:

Nope. Logging out only reduced the total by a couple hundred. Even if one were to choose the most restrictive possible definition of "new works" and filter out all crossovers and incomplete fics, Steve/Bucky would still have a yearly total of 2,305. Yet the list claims their total is somewhere below 1,500? What the fuck is going on here?

Let’s look at another ship for comparison. This time one that’s very recent and popular enough to make it on the list so we have an actual reference value for comparison: Nick/Charlie (Heartstopper). According to the list, this ship sits at #34 this year with a total of 2630 new works. But what’s AO3 say?

Off by a hundred or so but the values are much closer at least!

If we dig further into the FAQ though we discover Sin #2 (and the most egregious): the counting method. The yearly fic counts are NOT determined by filtering for a certain time period, they’re determined by simply taking a snapshot of the total number of fics in a ship tag at the end of the year and subtracting the previous end-of-year total. For example, if you check a ship tag on Jan 1, 2023 and it has 10,000 fics and check it again on Jan 1, 2024 and it now has 12,000 fics, the difference (2,000) would be the number of "new works" on this chart.

At first glance this subtraction method might seem like a perfectly valid way to count fics, and it’s certainly the easiest way, but it can and did have major consequences to the point of making the entire dataset functionally meaningless. Why? If any older works are deleted or privated, every single one of those will be subtracted from the current year fic count. And to make the problem even worse, beginning at the end of last year there was a big scare about AI scraping fics from AO3, which caused hundreds, if not thousands, of users to lock down their fics or delete them.

The magnitude of this fuck up may not be immediately obvious so let’s look at an example to see how this works in practice.

Say we have two ships. Ship A is more than a decade old with a large fanbase. Ship B is only a couple years old but gaining traction. On Jan 1, 2023, Ship A had a catalog of 50,000 fics and ship B had 5,000. Both ships have 3,000 new works published in 2023. However, 4% of the older works in each fandom were either privated or deleted during that same time (this percentage is was just chosen to make the math easy but it’s close to reality).

Ship A: 50,000 x 4% = 2,000 removed works Ship B: 5,000 x 4% = 200 removed works

Ship A: 3,000 - 2,000 = 1,000 "new" works Ship B: 3,000 - 200 = 2,800 "new" works

This gives Ship A a net gain of 1,000 and Ship B a net gain of 2,800 despite both fandoms producing the exact same number of new works that year. And neither one of these reported counts are the actual new works count (3,000). THIS explains the drastic difference in ranking between a ship like Steve/Bucky and Nick/Charlie.

How is this a useful measure of anything? You can't draw any conclusions about the current size and popularity of a fandom based on this data.

With this system, not only is the reported "new works" count incorrect, the older, larger fandom will always be punished and it’s count disproportionately reduced simply for the sin of being an older, larger fandom. This example doesn’t even take into account that people are going to be way more likely to delete an old fic they're no longer proud of in a fandom they no longer care about than a fic that was just written, so the deletion percentage for the older fandom should theoretically be even larger in comparison.

And if that wasn't bad enough, the author of this "study" KNEW the data was tainted and chose to present it as meaningful anyway. You will only find this if you click through to the FAQ and read about the author’s methodology, something 99.99% of people will NOT do (and even those who do may not understand the true significance of this problem):

The author may try to argue their post states that the tags "which had the greatest gain in total public fanworks” are shown on the chart, which makes it not a lie, but a error on the viewer’s part in not interpreting their data correctly. This is bullshit. Their chart CLEARLY titles the fic count column “New Works” which it explicitly is NOT, by their own admission! It should be titled “Net Gain in Works” or something similar.

Even if it were correctly titled though, the general public would not understand the difference, would interpret the numbers as new works anyway (because net gain is functionally meaningless as we've just discovered), and would base conclusions on their incorrect assumptions. There’s no getting around that… other than doing the counts correctly in the first place. This would be a much larger task but I strongly believe you shouldn’t take on a project like this if you can’t do it right.

To sum up, just because someone put a lot of work into gathering data and making a nice color-coded chart, doesn’t mean the data is GOOD or VALUABLE.

[sleepy-fiction]

Eleven Weeks

- sebastian solace x gn!reader

syn: Your ex-coworker, Sebastian, suddenly comes back from the dead, completely strange and anew. You go to see him and realize how different he had become since you left urbanshade. Can you accept him as he is now? Will he allow you to?

tags: predator/prey, suggestive but no actual sex, fluff, heavy comfort fic, there are no gendered terms for reader, sebby has an ex-wife (Zaara)

a/n: eleven weeks by vansire was on repeat in my mind as I wrote this! tysmm for the love on my last seb fic, my hearts really gonna burst!! but in this fic seb escaped and is now working w the FBI to build his case. Also to clarify pls this is no diss on zerum

5K WORDS

part 2 for the FREAKS below |

🛋🦈🐍🐋

You remember it.

The soft tan skin, the way his mouth would crinkle up and flash his pearly, straight teeth. You remember the barreling laughter, the prompt scolding. You remember the soggy bags under his eyes, you remember his sullen tears.

You remember it all, because he was human back then.

But now.

Your eyes shake as you stare at him now.

He's large, maybe even ten feet tall now. His large tail takes up almost the entire room; and the "men-in-black" you had to go through just to get to him was proof that this all was real. Sebastian had become something... He became something different.

His skin was no longer beautifully golden, instesd he was now blueish with scales, fins, and tails. He now has three eyes. Three eyed that are no longer those deep and black but abnormally large and blue. And his hands were now three shivering claws, claws that shook intensely, waiting for you to do something - anything.

Say something.

But you took your sweet time inhaling everything about him bit by bit at a time.

Minutes went by of you quietly staring at him, your shoulders tense, your fingers fidgeting together.

Weren't you going to scream?

Weren't you going to cry?

Weren't you going to do anything?

Please do something.

It broke him.

Sebastian abruptly squealed out an intense sob, his large hands covering his lips as he hunched over in shame. The wounded cry came straight from his belly, sounding as if the fiber of his very being was split into twos. He bowed his head more and more, trying his hardest to muffle his sprung cries. You couldn't let him be so alone like this. You, swept up by the bitter sounds, launched yourself forward, grabbing whatever you could reach: the coat sleeve on his smaller arm.

He pawed at his eyes with his large blue claws, and your lip quivered helplessly. He tried to pull away, but it was like the strength in him was gone. The spark, the everything. When you first walked in, he didn't say hello. His face, body, his soul had already lost its vigor. Simply going through the motions.

What should you say?

Your eyes flicker between the ones he covered from you. Your grip on his sleeve grew intense.

You thought he was dead. When the neww broke out of his crimes, you couldn't believe. You couldn't stick around long enough to find out because your contract ended. You couldn't tell anyone back home about anything that happened in Urbanshade at all. You alone had to bear it. Then you heard that a freak accident happened at urbanshade, and everyone died. You were alone.

But God, looking at him, he had gone through it worse. Not just physically.

You swallowed thickly, unable to keep your own tears back. But you smiled. You couldn't help this weird budding joy that sprang up in your chest, fondness that could kill even the sweetest daisies. As morbid as it is to be happy right now, you finally got your buddy back. Your annoying coworker who corrected over your work all the time. He was someone to talk to - someone you could finally console in. Your smile was profoundly big as you gripped onto him.

Sebastian Solace.

You're really back.

Your grip loosened.

"Say something, damn you -" Sebastian couldn't finish his loud, spiteful curses when his eyes finally met your gaze. Your bubbling gaze. You were amiling with glassy eyes, a quiet sort of smile, the kind that makes the air around you taste sweeter. His face twisted in horror, frustration. Why were you smiling? How could you smile at him?

His family couldn't look at him.

His wife.

His own wife shook and trembled, and she cried out in fear of him. Not only that, he had to learn that she and everyone else moved on a go time ago. Worse than that, his sweet wife told him she started a family with another man.

What the fuck was he supposed to do.

He spent all those aching years to break free, hoping for everything to return back - only for it all to be worser out here than in Urbanshade. Back then, at least he had something to hope for, to hold on to.

Here? Nothing.

Mind numbing questions seared through his mind. Why the fuck did he have to suffer like this when he was so badly hurt? Why couldn't she stay loyal? Why did he look this way? Why did they do this to him? Why.

Why is no one accepting him but you?

Why are you being so insufferable.

It made his heart burn. And your soft, secure grip on him made it even hard for him to run away. Did you not want him to leave? His heart is burning with corrupted fondness. He wants you to. To...

To touch him a bit more.

He wants you to look at him a bit more.

He wants you. If you're going to be so kind about it, look at the other weird parts of him with those sweet eyes.

Maybe the more you stare, you'll finally reject him. Confirm to him what the world has taught him. Or.

Or.

Just touch him a bit more.

Don't just stand there.

Don't just--

He suddenly remembers his voice. He croaks out the pitiful plea, "Don't... just. stand. there..."

The voice is commanding and terrifying, and it's proud and angry coming from such a large beast. His he trying to scare you off? If so, it's not working - he'll you barely register his words.

Just the sound of his voice sends your heart fluttering. Sebastian's alive.

You know he's been through so much worse, but.

Is it okay if you are a little selfish right now?

You reach forward, standing high up on your tippy toes to grab his right arm sleeve.

"What the hell are you doing!" He booms.

You pull him into you. He squeaks and cries, "Say something," He yells, loud even to shake your heartbeat. You're much weaker than him, but he falls into your shoulder so easily, like pulling a strayed kitten.

The weight of his head crashes into your shoulder harshly, the feeling a sharp thud, but you balanced it, still on your tippy toes. Your hands slip away from his arms, wrapping themselves tightly around his shoulders. While his neck brushed against your forearms.

"Hey Sebastian," his ears perk up in delight. Your voice whispers dear into his sharp fins, hushed, childishly excited, "Is your heart beating as fast as mine is?"

Yes.

Yes.

It's beating fast. It's beating so much faster than you know it. His breath exhales with a shivering snap, and he gulps.

You broke him again in an instant.

Sebastian grabs you, all of his hands finding their places on you; your back, your hips, your waist. As he pulls you up high into the air into a deep embrace. You drop all your weight onto him in the hug and nuzzle your nose into his neck. You laugh brazenly. It spikes into the air as your feet swing in the wind.

"Haha! Sebastian! We're so high," You squeaked, holding onto him like some sort of giddy child. Even he can't help but share the giddiness and giggle. You can feel his ears flick against your head.

"And look at you now, you're so big." You tease him, and his face crinkles up in a grin. You pull up to gaze at his face, drumming your fingers against his shoulder. You stare at his face, beaming. Your hands are moving to touch his face, "Three eyed freak," you snicker, "You weren't taller than me before."

His grin bursts onto a beaming smile through his face. "Wow... Wow. Look at you," The tone of his voice is partionizing, enoigh to make you already start laughing. "No class, per usual. I'm not sure as to why I even invited you to see me," he said. His were eyes lidded, his voice freed of any bite. The was hushed and sweet.

Your eyes lidded, too.

He looked sort of...

Handsome, in a way. Right now.

It was weird. Not too shabby for a... mermaid?

You looked away with a gulp. It's just hard not to feel something for someone when they're holding you like this. Like you're some sort of treasure. At least, that's what you told yourself.

"Don't you agree," he purrs. His voice is teasingly delightful. Embarrassment springs up as you back your palms back onto his shoulders. You try to hide your head back onto his shoulder, but he rejects you, pulling you back out to keep you. You swallow. Blood rushes deep to your face, your embarrassed hands playing with the ends of his hair.

"You're flushed," he whispers curtly. You suck in a breath.

"You're holding me like this... Anyone would be," you said.

His third eye twitches.

He grabbed his wife like this, and she screamed. The sound rings deep into his ears. Ah- ex-wife. His face fell bittersweetly, unable to succumb fully to sadness when you're so full of joy.

You're so special.

He smiles brightly again.

Your heart flutters, but it's a weird stutter.

"Ah! Alright, alright, put me down," you yell, beginning to squirm to no avail. "Damn you!" You bang harshly on his shoulders.

"I'm not sure I wanna," he laughed heartily.

"I mean it!" You screech.

🐋🦈🐍🛋

"This your place? The federation hooked you up," you said. When you finally got away, you could finally take a look at his home. It was on a military base, deep underground, behind many iron doors and pass codes. They even gave you a CAT to come on base to schedule visits with him. It took almost about a year to get clearance to see Sebastian.

Did everyone who wanted to see him have to wait this long? Go through so many briefings, sign so many contracts, just to spend 5 alotted hours? You couldn't imagine being him, living like this so alone for so long. Was he just counting down the days until he saw you, just like he did back when you two were teens?

Why did that idea make you feel so content?

"Mmhm. They're spoiling me," he grimaces, and you're pulled from your thoughts.

"What? Don't like feeling like a princess?" you asked.

"It's only because of a case we're building against Urbanshade. That's all." He hums. "I'm not planning on getting used to it."

His home itself and everything within it was large. With high ceiling arches, high doorways with large door handles. Everything is his size, even the chairs and couches. It must've been expensive to make this whole thing. He truly was heavily pampered in here.

"Make us tea," you bark.

"Alright," he said.

You looked back at his tail as he guided you into the kitchen. The slithering thing echoes a low humming sound. It moved so rhytmically, it was so odd. He truly was a snake.

This wasn't your first time seeing him either. In the hundreds of briefings the FBI and the base itself gave you, they got to tell you all about his anatomy, photographs, and health scans. They really wanted you to be comfortable with him, and you can't help but be happy about it. It was hard to fully believe until now. It still was a fresh shock just as the day they tried to make you believe this is what he really looked like now. You wondered if he had met with his family by now. If it went well...

They really took him and his case just as serious as he deserved it to be. These things are typically kept top secret, so maybe they allowed you to see him simply because...

Your think back to his soulless greeting.

Time to step up and be a good friend.

"Hang in there, buddy." You cheer, patting his shoulder with a knowing gaze towards the horizon.

"That's embarrassing," He snips.

Ah.

Typical Sebastian Solace, you comfort him, and he immediately corrects you. You sigh.

You look up at him, finally noticing the way his large little claw was holding your small one. Your face heated again. You look away quickly, gazing throughout his kitchen. Everything was so large, even the counter meets your chin.

"Why don't you go sit on the couch," Sebastian hums. He had a new air around him now, one that was sure and soft. You heard as he shuffled through cabinets the sounds of cups and things clattering around.

"How can I? I have so many questions. Sebastian, how'd you do it? God, you're big now! And, uh... What'd you all day? Was it dangerous?" You asked, your hands finding the whale tail. You stroked your fingers along the scales, stroking it dearly. You felt him shiver, but selfishly, you slid your hands up his dorsal fin and into the beginning of his snake-ish body.

"Well... A lot of it is classified but. I can tell you that I read a lot during my time at Urbanshade," he snickered.

"Well, that's obvious," you muttered as you looked back to his tail, "Hey, is this heavy?" You pressed all your weight against it and then sat down on him.

"Excuse me? What the hell are you doing?" He asks, but the tone is a soft bite. "I'm not a jungle gym," he sighs.

"Yeah, but... Isn't it so cool," you asked.

"So cool?" He grunts.

"A-Ah I'm -"

"No-no. Uh... Hmm... I suppose, after the rage wore off, my body became sort of... Interesting. But still, I'd rather be something a bit more like you... At least... I kind of miss being back shorter than you." He mumbles, sentimental fondness brimming in his voice.

You grin, "Hehe, you used to say a centimeter didn't count."

"It really does now." His tail wraps around you, grabbing you by your hips in a vice. They hold you suspended in the air, your hair hanging down as you face the ground. You squeaked, but he continued, "Come now. Tea's done."

He slithers away with you, not that you care. You giggle and laugh all the way to the couch, suspended in his tail. He plops you down onto the large plush couch and your cheek smush against the cushions in awe. It's so comfortable!

You turn back to him. He laid against the couch long ways, with his tail all perfectly held up by the large couch. All while he rests his elbow against the cushion, peering down at you with relaxed but incredibly intimate eyes. His tea is being held by his mini-hand, and the smoke of it rises to face.

He takes a long, slow sip, his lidded gaze never once breaking from you. You sucked in a harsh breath. He shouldn't look at you like that.

You couldn't help the way your palms got sweaty. The way your heart longed to touch him.

He's so different now. His whale tail pokes your back, almost annoyingly so. You grimance in distaste.

"Hey. Your tea's on the coffee table. Are you even paying attention? Or do you just like looking at me," he says, his voice fluctuating teasingly. But even you took notice of the interest gleaming in his blue orbs.

Your face heats up in both anger and embarrassment, two emotions you've grown incredibly fond of because of him. You "hmph," grabbing your cup and muttering something along the lines of, "you were oogling me too," that falls on authoritarian ears.

But God, you're so aware of his presence that it makes you hard to even take a sip, even though the aroma of chamomile was incredibly fragrant. It has a brilliant color too. Sebastian always had a brilliant eye for tea. "You know," you mumbled as you leaned back against the couch - as well as his tail, "I only started getting into tea after I heard you passed... C-Cause. Cause you'd drink it so much. You always thought you were too posh for us drinking coffee in the morning."

He laughs, a howling sound filled with nostalgia, "Haha! I did, I really did!" He clasped his larger two hands together, rubbing them in an automated smooth motion. Was that a new habit of his?

You couldn't help but beam a joyful smile. "You really haven't changed." You sighed.

An annoyingly dead pant takes his face, but you close to ignore his teasing. It's obvious he's sort of... "new" now. But still damn it! He's the same.

"I- I... You know what I mean."

"Really? Telling the clearly mutated guy th--"

"Shush."

"That you feel--"

"Shut up, god damn you!"

You look away with a huff, turning your whole body to the side to display your protest of his treatment. But he doesn't let you, and his whale tail curls around you. It's big fins redirecting you to face him with a jaunty push. You squeaked, trying to keep your tea from spilling. A ripple goes up his tail, bumping against your body contiously, forcing you to shoot straight up, or else you'll really spill tea all over you.

"What's your deal!" You yell, now on your feet. You don't look at his face, but you can feel the sadistic amusement in his eyes and hear the quiet, humored chuckles mixed into his breath.

"You... You were really thinking about me like that?" He mumbles. "Honoring me in your tea..." He can't spare your gaze, so he flees onto his tea cup.

God, your heart's beating so strongly.

"Of course. Everyone was. Like our section manager, and then Zaara," don't say that name, "your mother, hell even our high-school math teacher... I went by your wife's and mom's homes on occasion- just to see something of you." You mumbled, not noticing the way he tensed at the mention of his wife.

"No one believed you'd do something like that... Even Zaara... She took it hardest out of everyone," You mumbled. He stopped his snakish ripple, but you still took the chance to sit closer to his main, humanoid body, as you sat 2 feet away from it. Still, it felt too far, but you wanted to respect his space.

He looked down at the floor, trying to find something funny to say, but it all failed him.

"Did you hear... About... Zaara?" You whispered, treading softly on sensitive ground.

"Yeah... I heard. She uh... Gave me a picture of her daughter when she... visited me last year," his voice was weak.

"Yeah, little Selena... She's three years old now. Such a big girl," You whispered, staring down at the reflection of yourself in your teacup.

"You know... She couldn't e-even look at me," his voice cracked and groaned out, the sound still like a fresh wound to him.

"Oh god," was all you could manage out. You hunched over to your cup, shutting your eyes deeply. "And your mom?" You whispered, begging for it not to be true.

"It took her a bit, but... She writes me letters. I don't think she can visit me anymore either... It's hard seeing your baby boy so... S-So..." He pauses for a long time before the words finally come out, "C-Changed," he gasps.

Changed.

Change is good.

That's such a selfish thing to say. But.

You'll say it anyways.

"Change can be good. Change can be... H-Handsome," You chuckle, not sure if it was a mixture of your fear, embarrassment, or whatever else.

"You say whatever you want, you know. Don't you care about my feelings? Be gentler, what if you hurt me," his snakish tail pumps you roughly again, direction you to look at him. And you do, but it's filled with a burning, unadulterated fire straight your heart.

You flip your head towards him, leaning in, your hands keeping your tea steady underneath your zeal, "You don't want me to be gentle. Ypu want me to be rough. You want me to treat you like a human, so I will." Your voice is intense. The shiver it produces from him is proof of that.

The silence gives you confidence. You scoot closer, a hand fleeing from your tea to cup the side of his round blue face - he gasps. "You are still incredibly human. And you're still incredibly the same rude, pompous, annoying coworker, Sebastian Solace..." Your words are too intimate, and you know that. Your heart's about to burst, but you know that. You like it, even. You catch yourself, blinking away from him, "T-To me... To me, you're--"

Your face is grabbed harshly, your teacup falls and slips onto the floor, it splatters on your shoes, and it's the first thing you worry about. Not the fact that the new, monstrous frightening Sebastian is pulling you rapidly towards him. Not the fact that four intense claws have you by the face that could crush your entire skull between his palms. Not the face that you were being pulled by your face toward his lips-- No you were worried about wasting his tea, breaking his cup, or if the drink mingles with his carpet.

He pauses right before his lips meet yours, what's the point if within this rapid milisecond, you're not looking at him. He tosses his teacup to the side, the tea within it all gone, and so the clamor of the empty cup finally snaps your eyes towards his, not in fear, but in worry about him- of him.

And so, within the milisecond your eyes meet, He sinks his hands around your tiny body and kisses your lips deeply. You moan and shudder at the feeling, grabbing chunks of his button up, chunks of his collar as you climb greedily into his lap. The feeling of his lips, his mouth, is almost erotically different than kissing a human.

His mouth is colder, bigger, his lips a ragged shape. You'd be lying if the friction didn't send primal shivers down your back. Your human instinct tells you that the mouth of such a large and tenacious predator shouldn't be so near, but God, the friction felt so good.

The shivers were intense, as his pointed teeth poked you carelessly at times. Or when you'd feel the breath from his silt nostrils, the intense feeling of his sharp claws on your body. Primordial fear, nipping at your brain, and you shut it all off, letting the overwhelming situation pool as passionate fire into your suddenly peckish organs below.

Two sensitive people, slurping, lapping, mewling, and huffing into eachothers lips. The sight and sound of it was dirty, sloppy. But you drunk up the sounds of his hungry pants, growls, shivers. Sebastian cracks open his mouth to feed you his gloriously thick and intense tongue.

You slurp it up, welcoming the colder muscle into your hot, moist cavern. The large presence of him inside you is dominating as your fingers twitched against his button-up. He was so needy, was he like you in a way? Unable to get it off since the horrors of Urbanshade? No-- you can't forget. He's gone through it worse, so his need.

You pull back in an anxious shudder. He truly growls then. The sound so animalistic you body gave out, but he held you dear as he pulled you back into the kiss that you know you shouldn't be enjoying so pervertedly.

To him, all of this was your fault.

Saying such pretty words, out of such pretty lips, with such a pleasant voice. Surely, you're aware of how catty you are. Sebastian can't help but think that as he overwhelms your tiny tongue.

He's aware of how beautiful you became over the years. Somethinf he never took noticebto at Urbanshade. He's never been so aware of you. He's aware of you as his arms grab your hips and waist. He's aware of you as his right arm trails up your back to cup your tiny little head. He's aware that your head didn't used to be tiny before his transformation, but he's also aware of how good it is to have so much control over you.

To him, you were being so demanding and selfish and bratty this entire time. His predatory desire to bite you grows as you part for a breath. Sweat beads begin to bubble up on your forehead as you pant at the space between your lips. "Sebastian..." You mewl, he grips your hair and tilts your head back to flash your tantalizing neck muscles.

"You know," he says comanding, "I'm not that same little teen you met when transferred into our school year," you giggled at his words, but he continued, "I'm a man. I'm not only a man. I'm not that same man you went to Urbanshade with - I've evolved. I'm a beast, too. And we beasts have our desires." He growls a bit, the trilling sound mingles with his breath against your revealed neck. You whimper.

"And your breath, your... loud little heart beat. Your lips... Your voice... Your size... It provokes me to sink my teeth in and tear your neck open." He hushes dangerously. God his flirts were getting to you.

"T-The feds are right outside Sebastian," you mewl. "Think you can take them?" You whisper, drawing your hand up and tucking his hair away from his blue-ish face. It's then that you really register how mermaid-ish he had become. You cupped his face again, drawing circles under his under eyes, smoothing out the feeling beneath your thumb pad.

He was cold to the touch, his nose now two little slits. His eyes big big blue orbs, that trailing light bub attached to his head like an angular fish. You had to ask, you couldn't hold it back anymore, not in this moment.

"What are you," you whispered. "I know I read your briefing, but still... How'd they..." You grip chunks of his cheeks.

"I'm uh..." His grip droops as he awkwardly looked to the left. "You want to know now?" He quirks.

"Huh oh uh... I mean. I kinda wanna know." You stutter.

"Well? I-I guess. A little bit of everything. Angular fish, sea snake, whale, shark..." he looked away.

You rose up in his lap, pulling his attention back on you. "That's so p--"

"Are you going to keep killing the mood or... Do you just not want me to fuck you?" He suddenly smirks, and you gasp in horror. He pulls you close to him, purring in your ears, "What? Scared you won't be able to take all of it..." Sultry and slow, teasing.

"W-What... What did... What does that mean..." You don't want to entertain the idea, the possibility.

But his angular mouth creaks open to an even more dangerous grin.

One of his large claws flashes in your face, as he puts two large fingers on your belly button. He presses them there.

You legs almost give out. "Huh?" You stutter.

He looks at you, unwavering, he presses his two fingers against you rougher.

"To here?" You mumble.

"Two what?" He giggles.

"Two- To? Here... O-Oh god."

🐍🐋🦈🛋

[brucewaynehater101]

I need you to stop me from making another Tim Drake centric fic

I got this random idea that won’t leave me alone

like what if the emotional scars and trauma people have show up physically too most commonly as little cracks on the skin and all of the bats have them

they hide them tho with make up and stuff so people don’t question it except Tim hides them from everyone maybe bc that’s what his parents taught him to do maybe bc he just doesn’t want to burden any of the bats

the bats think that Tim is fine so to them he’s invincible which leads them to treat him as such subconsciously or otherwise especially Bruce

it takes a lot for something to be bad enough that they physically manifest and Tim has A LOT bc everyone thinks he’s invincible

:) it won’t leave me alone help me I beg of you

Hmm.... Let's add on, shall we? This is a very rad idea. You should definitely write a fic about it, but no pressure.

Mind if I explore it? Also, feel free to disregard any part below you don't want/disagree with. This is just brainstorming ^^

Alright. Emotional scars are a physical mark on someone's skin.

Similar to regular scars, they can fade as a person heals.

Some may never disappear, and some only appear for a short time.

What would their color be?

Would they look like actual cracks in a person (so black-ish in color)? Would they be gold or multi-colored (different colors represent different kinds of emotional traumas)?

The level of hurt inflicted is directly proportional to the size (length and width) of the scar.

Perhaps more could be deduced from the general shape (is it jagged? A single line? Branching?)

Not all people have these marks

Most of the population manifests them. There's some prejudice against folk who don't [something something they are heartless, incapable of feelings, not able to be emotionally hurt, cold, detached, etc.], but hiding scars is also common. Therefore, it's harder to discern whether someone is hiding their marks or markless. It's a very fine line, so most people allow a smaller mark to show every once in a while. There's even a few trends to proudly display all marks.

Marks appear at the time of the emotional harm

It may not be apparent at the time due to the location, but the individual being hurt will manifest the mark at the very moment of emotional harm.

Anyways, that's the background stuff. Fun, but let's get into Tim specifically ^^

Tim's parents are part of the few who believe that showing off your scars to anyone, even your loved ones, is both a weakness and a way to guilt-trip people. Therefore, through their archeology studies, they managed to obtain magical objects to prevent the showing of emotional marks. It's similar to glamor.

Tim's object can change forms to suit his needs (so a ring at one moment and an earring the next). This ability prevents the Bats from discovering it.

Janet fakes a very small mark on her hand when she wants to discourage any rumors that's she's incapable of manifesting marks. For Tim, though, his parents wanted him to have rumors of being incapable of forming marks. It served their purpose better for him being the cunning Drake heir.

The deception started from birth, so no one but the Drakes know of Tim's ability to form marks [and the Drake parents never see the marks they leave behind on their child].

The Waynes, long before Tim entered their life, were aware of these rumors. Thus, when Tim demands to become Robin, he doesn't correct their assumptions.

Bruce is a callous fucker to Tim at the start. If Tim can't be hurt emotionally, then Bruce's ill-treatment of him is fine (which is flawed logic. The markless can be emotionally hurt, and they still deserve kindness, dignity, and respect even if they couldn't. Bruce was mentally fucked up, but it doesn't excuse his treatment).

Eventually, Bruce comes to the second realization that Tim should still be treated well even if it doesn't hurt him regardless. The man's behavior is better, but he still has the notion in mind that Tim can't be emotionally hurt. He uses this for missions and to downplay the way his other kids treat Tim (specifically Jason and Damian when they first meet Tim).

Tim gets used to a rotation of insult-names: Robot Robin, heartless, markless (said insultingly), cold-blooded, unfeeling bastard, etc.

He's also subject to a TON of misunderstandings. People are more reluctant to love him due to the belief that he can't love them back. He gets yelled at and told off for "masking/faking his emotions" when he's actually being genuine.

Which adds to his hurt :)

He also has to pretend not to grieve his parents when they die :(

Due to how rare markless are, the Bats don't meet "another" one until after the BruceQuest. When they chat with this person, they realize how many misconceptions they have about them (such as the markless being incapable of feelings. In fact, they accidentally offend that person when they tell the other they don't need to fake their emotions in front of the Bats. Safe to say, the markless individual becomes incensed when they realize how they've been treating their own markless family member).

This would be at least four (probably closer to five) years after Tim first became Robin. The entire family has a meltdown.

Tim, on the other hand, is used to the treatment the Bats have been giving him and becomes incredibly uncomfortable with them trying to care for his feelings and whatnot. It's rocky for a long while as everyone tries to seek forgiveness for something Tim bitterly doesn't hold against them (he is lying to them after all).

Tim rarely, if ever, views his own marks. The last time he checked was when he was having his identity crisis after Robin was taken from him. His entire body, from head to toe, had cracks in it. There was a giant, gaping crack on his back for the metaphorical stab in the back it was.

And we haven't even gotten to when the Bats figure out Tim was never markless :)

[st0ryf1lms]

home, that's a weird word ➳ ken sato

pairing: ken sato x reader

word count: 1.5k

genre/warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, undertones of xenophobia, basically how i interpreted the last thing kenji said to ami on their first interview, grammatical errors (most likely), no beta we die like men, personal assistant!reader

synopsis: the word "home" always left a weird taste in kenji's tongue when he said it.

a/n: AAAAAAAA I'VE FINALLY WRITTEN A THOUSAND WORD FIC AFTER 2 YEARS IM SO HAPPY!!! and i'm really hoping u guys like this bc i really am so proud of this sooo enjoyyy!!

It had been a long day, as far as Kenji is concerned. Way too long for his liking. All the cameras and microphones pointed at his direction, all those flashing lights-- a man could only take a few for so long, and Kenji has had enough of his share for the day. As he gets off his bike, all he can think of is the comfort of his own bed, how his pillow would feel against his head and how the duvets would feel covering his skin.

He opened the door to his house, surprised to see you sitting on the couch with the living room lights turned off. Your back was facing him, and with your laptop's glaring LED screen being the only source of light in the room, all he could see was your crouched silhouette.

"Already settling down, huh, Y/N?" He spoke, breaking the silence in the room. "Oh, Mr. Sato, you're home," you say unfazed, as if the only thing that was powering you right now was your laptop's battery. "Just wanted to stay for a while to catch you so I can brief you for your schedule tomorrow." You stated, closing your laptop and standing up to turn on the lights on the dim setting. Kenji sighed and closed his eyes as he plopped down on the couch in front of you, serving as a signal for you to start.

"Okay, so, first thing in the morning, Mr. Sato, you have baseball practice which Coach Shimura insists you attend, an interview scheduled…" Your voice becomes buzzing in his head as he looks out the window, a view overlooking the city. The sound of laughter and joy drifting out from the street below, making him feel very alone in this somewhat new town. "…Sato. Mr. Sato. Are you even listening to a word I say?" You say exasperatedly, not sure if your asshat of a boss actually understands that you came from a 12-hour flight, too, and want nothing to be in the comfort of a nice and comfortable bed. You follow where his gaze is at, looking out the window where the busy streets of Tokyo are hustling and bustling as the nightlife slowly rises. You look back at your boss, sporting a solemn yet longing look on his face- earning a tilt of confusion from your head.

"Can I ask you a question, Y/N? Off the record, please." He asks, eyes remaining trained on the window. "Have you ever felt like you've never belonged? Like, no matter where you go, no matter who you are, you'll never find yourself home?" He finally looks at you, noticing your once tense figure now replaced with a relaxed yet calculating stance, figuring out what to say to him. The silence feels like forever as he awaits an answer from you, Kenji letting out a sigh as he hangs his head down low.

"Ever since I had moved to LA, I lost all sense of the word 'home.' Hah, even saying it right now leaves a weird taste in my tongue. All those kids back there, they always told me to 'go back home,' and when I did go back to the house where my mom and I lived, she'd always tell me that we were right at home. Now that I'm actually back in my 'homeland', it feels so weird to even call it that now." He blurted out, his previously relaxed figure on the couch is now one of a crouched one, his head still glued facing down on the floor. "In LA, I felt too Japanese to fit in. The culture shock hitting me every single time I try to do something I was used to. Now, here in Japan, I feel too American now to even call myself a local. Even speaking in my own tongue feels weird to my mouth and my throat."

He finally looked up at you and saw a blank yet somehow shocked expression adorning your face. His eyes slightly widened and his breath hitched in his throat as he quickly realized the gravity of his words and who he was speaking to about a sensitive topic. You, on the other hand, was internally slack-jawed. What the helllll, is this really happening???? You rhetorically think to yourself as your boss, The Ken Sato, the egotistical baseball superstar, literally just spilled his guts in front of you, his personal assistant whom he keeps at an arm's length.

"I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" he stuttered as he racked his brain, trying to make up an excuse for what he said. You still stayed silent and eerily still. "A–are you still there? Hello? Earth to Y/N?" He asked, cautiously waving a hand.

"Yes," you cleared your throat, "yes, Kenji." You say, his contorted face relaxing as he hears his name slip your mouth. You clear your throat once again before starting.

"You know, if I may, I'd like to believe that home is a construct you make and that a place doesn't really define it. Sure, in kindergarten, we get taught that the definition of home is a place where you live in but as we get older, don't some things actually change? And I'd like to say that the word 'home' is one of those things. As a child, we would say home is where our parents live. As teenagers, we'd say home is with our friends as we laugh and joke with them on various different occasions of our lives at school. As adults, I believe we can be left to define 'home' what we fit it deem to our liking. After all, home is where the heart is, am I right?" You ramble on, pacing around the living room as you animatedly explain with your hands as Kenji follows your every move.

Realizing your mouth once again moved with a mind of its own, you straightened up and cleared your throat. "Ahem, sir. Right, well, I better get going. Long day tomorrow." You nervously chuckled, refusing to look your boss whose privacy you've seem to have invaded as you spoke without filter. You tentatively grab your things and slowly head to the front door, feeling your boss' eyes on you follow your every move as if saying you've overstayed your welcome.

As Kenji trains your every movement, he realizes what you're about to do and stands up abruptly from his place in the couch.

"Y/N, wait."

Your hand hovers above the door handle, eyes closed as you brace for the impact of what your boss is about to say. Please don't fire me, please don't fire me, please do-

"Do you mind if you stay the night?" He says and your head snaps back to look at him, as if he'd grown another head.

I- I mean, not like that, b- but, well… Well, you know what I mean." He sheepishly clarifies, his hand bringing up to scratch the nape of his neck. The silence is awkward and deafening, and he was about to open his mouth to take back what he said but you beat him to it.

"Sure. I'll stay the night, Mr. Sato." You face him with a soft smile.

"Please, Y/N, Kenji's fine."

He leads you to the spare bedroom he has in the house and asks Mina to deliver a fresh set of clothes where you'll stay.

"I just want to say thank you, Y/N. I know I don’t say it enough and I'm sorry for that. I appreciate everything you do." He sincerely told you, looking into your eyes with nothing but pure admiration and gratefulness. "It's all in the job, sir." You say before realizing, wincing as the honorific accidentally leaves your mouth. You open the bedroom door before saying,

"Good night, Kenji."

"Good night, Y/N."

BONUS:

Kenji wakes up to the noise of cooking downstairs, with a pair of voices talking back and forth. He rubs his eyes free of sleep and lifts the duvets off of him, getting up from his bed and out of his room.

The voices become clearer as he goes down the stairs on the way to the kitchen, where he makes out your voice and Mina's, seeming to be guiding you as you follow a recipe she reads out. "Y/N, he's awake." Mina alerts you as you turn to face him.

"Oh, good morning, Mr. Sato. I hope you don’t mind, Mina told me you barely use the kitchen anyway." You nervously chuckle as you focus your attention back on the stove. "Please, Y/N, what did I tell you?" He visibly cranks up at the mention of his last name early in the morning.

"Right, Kenji, I mean." You quickly recall, still stirring the pot. "That smells amazing, what's that?" He says as he walks over you, looking over your shoulder.

"I know it isn't really for breakfast but Mina told me how it was your favorite, so I made curry. Or, at least, attempted to make it." You explain cautiously, slowly looking over to your boss who's currently sporting a look of surprise.

"M-may I?" He gestures to the spoon. You nod and hand it to him, scooting over to give him a taste. His eyes close and you start to feel anxious, building up an excuse in your head to tell him.

"Tastes just like home."

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Mission Control 7

Warnings: non/dubcon, violence, stalking, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Captain Hydra

Summary: a man marches into your life on a mission

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

Your captor drags you up the bed. You surrender as reality hits you. That's what he is. He has taken you. You can only let him move you as you’re subdued by his easy strength. He puts your head on a pillow and lays himself next to you. 

He draws you against him. The thin nightgown does little against his rampant heat as it seeps into you. You lay in his rigid embrace and close your eyes. You’re too afraid to acknowledge the world around you. 

He brings his large hand up to the of your face and cradles it. He presses his nose to your other temple and puffs hotly down your check. The long drone rolls through you. You are as still as he is, locked in his unspoken intent. 

The long trek aches in your legs and back. Your body eases out of exhaustion and you sink down into the mattress. His breath evens out and his touch softens. He sleeps but you still don’t dare to pull away. 

You drift into a layer of unconsciousness that keeps you eerily aware of your surroundings. You are in that room but you’re not. Your head swims and your body fills with sand but your mind will not rest. 

You come to with a twitch. You bat your lashes as the man’s hand lays just below your chest. Low, rocky snores trickle up his throat. You peek over. That alone is the singular strand of humanity you’ve witnessed in his. 

Your eyes scan down his thick arm. Scars this way and that, some faint, others bolder. You bend your arm as you examine on in particular, right around the top of his shoulder, from chest around to his back. It looks as if his arm was near severed off. How could anyone survive that? 

Unthinking, hypnotised by the torture etched in his flesh, you touch the thick scar. It’s slightly raised and hard. You brush your fingertips along it lightly. 

The lull startles you before his eyes snap open. His snores quieted moments ago but you only notice then. You look up into his icy irises as he tilts his chin down. His gaze flicks over to your touch. You’re stuck, too afraid to pull away. 

“That... must have hurt,” you press your fingertips down as your teeth threaten to chatter. 

He shifts back and your hand falls down across his chest. He catches it and pull it back to the scar, tugging you with it. You lean over him as he falls flat to his back. He guides your hand to another scar, right on his right pec, a large circular ridge with varying rings of discolouration. 

“That too,” you say. “You have lived through a lot of pain.” 

You don’t know what you’re saying. You’re talking just to do it. To keep your mind from racing. In a way, it calms you. He covers your hand with his and holds it flush to his firm muscle. 

Slowly, his hand crawls over your wrist and up your arm. You shiver as he touches your shoulder and traces up your throat. He turns his hand and frames your neck in the vee of his thumb and index. You gulp and he forces your head up. He looks down at you. 

He exhales heavily and pushes you away. He flips you onto you back and follows, crushing you as he puts weight on your neck. He smothers you with his body as he pins you by your neck. You squirm and pet his chest gently. You stare up at him, terrified. You won’t fight him. 

“Does it hurt when I touch you? I’m sorry,” you ekes past his grip. 

His eyes skim down your face and fixate on your mouth. His hand squeezes before it releases. He brushes up your chin and to your lips. He presses his wide thumb against your lips. He rubs the soft flesh. He toys with you as if curious. 

You slowly trail up his chest and feel along the tense muscles of his shoulder. You make a lightly line along his neck and the tendons tauten. You mirror him with your touch. You flutter along his square chin and draw around his lips. A light stubble pokes through at the edges of his jaw. He quakes and his lashes fan. 

You don’t know what you’re doing. You can’t know because you don’t know what he wants. Everything you do, just like everything he does, confounds you. 

He moves to brush his lips against your finger. He parts his mouth around it and sheaths it with his mouth. You wince at the odd act but don’t pull away. You let him, watching him as he closes his eyes and sucks on your digit, tongue pressed against it. His teeth clamp down but not enough to hurt. He hums as the pressure builds in his mouth. 

He curls his finger and pokes it into your mouth. You let him in and he pets your tongue with his fingertip. You push your lips around. Another drone rises from him. He has a voice, somewhere inside of him. 

He slides his finger out of your mouth and smears your saliva around your lips. He eases himself down next to you, hugging you as he stays latched onto your finger. You remain limp and prone to him. He settles his head next to yours. He puts his forehead to your temple. 

He sucks on your finger as his hand wanders down to your chest. He gropes you through the nightgown, fondling you, sucking harder and harder. He hooks his leg around one of yours and you feel the tension slowly slake from his large body. 

If it keeps him from hurting you, you will let it happen. You bend your other arm and pet his side. 

“I’m here,” you say, not sure what you mean. “I’m here with you. Are you tired?” 

The question hangs like every other word you’ve said to him. He nods around his hold on your finger. He kneads your chest and slips his arm beneath you, pulling you even snugger. You close your eyes again. You’re safe, for now. 

"Me too," you sniff, "I'm very tired."

[sageispunk]

are you ever gonna post the method man fics 😩

what's it gonna be? (18+)

pairing: Silas P. Silas x black!reader

↳ When two friends finally get a night alone...

wordcount: 2.5k+

warnings: this is all smut fr, fwb to lovers, daddy kink!!!, P in V sex, reader is referred to as "girl" "ma" "mama" "boo", squirting, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, creampie, dom! reader for a sec, light choking, hint at/mention of weed use, dirty talk, oral sex (f receiving), teasing, nipple play...lmk if i missed any!!

A/N: ask and you shall receive!! (sorry for the wait though, i've had this sitting unfinished for a min cause i didn't know if anyone actually wanted it LMAO) i hope u like it anon and anyone else, lmk how u feel in the comments!! pls like + reblog as well MWAH 🫶🏾

“Damn girl…” 

Silas groaned below you, with his big hands gripping your hips as you moved up and down his length. The two of you locked desperate eyes, communicating nothing but everything at the same time.

You needed this as much as he did, especially once that familiar green haze behind your eyes set in. You were on your feet, using the strength in your legs and knees to increase your pace on him. With each bounce you could feel him deep inside your belly, touching parts of you that you didn’t even know existed. 

You also couldn't figure out how his tall self managed to squeeze into your twin XL dorm bed, but you weren’t in any position to question it either. The room was dark, only illuminated by the dim screen of your television on the dresser, in addition to the red LED lights on the wall above you. Whichever tv show began when your movie went off went unnoticed, their conversations drowned out by the breathy pants escaping your lips. 

The lewd sounds filling up the room had you both in heaven. Beautiful brown bodies under that rouge coloring– moaning, grunting, smacking, and squishing. Like one of those early 2000s classic Ebony films–just nasty. You could only hope no one could hear from outside your door. 

You moved your hips up and down, taking him all the way down to the base each time, biting your lip with a debauched look on your face. You watched as Silas moaned, loud and needy and uncaring, his eyes rolling back into his head. Your confidence shot up through the roof, leading you to take a little more control. You held his jaw with your dominant hand, bringing your lips up to his earlobe and letting your mouth run off whatever popped into your head, not leaving a second to second guess yourself. 

“Does it feel good when I do it like that?”

With your soft, teasing voice in his ears, you squeezed your inner walls, slowing yourself a bit and ignoring that growing burn in your thighs. “You betta stop it, girl..” His voice came out grunted, rough. His fingers dug into your hips as he struggled to hold onto his nut, a deep moan vibrating through his chest. 

“What about when I do it like that? Hmm?”

You felt him nodding against your skin before his hips stuttered, kissing your spot perfectly for only  a split second. Your body jerked up, momentarily frozen around him as your vision went white. “Silas, FUCK, I’m–!!!”

“Yeahhh, let it out baby..” He murmured, a goofy, cocky grin spreading across his face. Even then, you could still tell that he was struggling to hold on, with your pussy pulsing,  nearly suffocating him like a goddamn boa constrictor. 

Silas kept his eyes on you, his focus wandering up and down, and back and forth, his mind too overwhelmed with pleasure to fixate on only one part of you. He loved your thighs–every time you’d wear this particular pair of biker shorts that defined each of your curves, he would have to mentally go elsewhere just to keep from bursting out his jeans.

Your breasts also held a special place in his heart, especially in those times where he’d seek you out for comfort, resting against the soft, cushiony headrest that your chest provided. Similarly, the softness of your tummy was something he could never turn down, he’d be touching on it every time you showed a little extra skin in a crop top or a backless dress.

As you slowed down to a stop on top of him, he let his hands wander. His left hand traveled up your side, slowly, taking in your beautiful map of scars and stretch marks on the way. Once his thick fingers reached your breasts, they traced around your mocha areolas before latching onto your hardened nipples. Silas rubbed and pinched lightly, alternating between teasing each as he watched the euphoric haze grow across your face. 

“Silas…” You still were sensitive from your sudden orgasm, slightly trembling from the aftershocks as he touched you. Nevertheless, that warmth and excitement began to flood your core once again, that hunger taking over your every thought. His hard dick throbbing eight inches deep inside your core didn't help either. But you needed more, you craved to see him, feel him come undone inside of you. 

You gasped as his right hand made its way to your throat, keeping your gaze steadily on his. The grip of his fingers on your skin had you feeling weak, and under his spell. And his voice, all deep and rough and dripping with desire.

“I gotchu mama, just tell me what you need..” Your eyes scanned over his face, taking in the glaze of sweat on his forehead, above his furrowed eyebrows, as well as the slight pout in his plump bottom lip. You wanted to bite it so bad. “Tell daddy what you need, baby, I gotta hear you.”

Silas repeating the nickname you accidentally gave him the first time you’d hooked up made your tummy flutter. You couldn’t believe it yourself when the word flew out your mouth, while you blurredly watched him take you from behind, standing upright in front of the mirror in some frat party bathroom. From then he never let you forget it. He always made sure to remind you of his special status, without fail making you cum harder than anyone else ever had, every single time. 

“Cum in me, Si...please.” 

The plea fell from your lips as you lazily swirled your hips in his lap, enjoying the way his curved length rubbed deliciously against all your inner spots. Like you were made to fit one another. Your hands held onto his right arm as he continued to choke you, only slightly tightening his grip around your throat. The growing lack of air made you tense around his dick, whining and moaning out as he spoke. “You know if I cum in this pussy, that means it's mine, right?” 

Hearing those words with that thick New York accent while he was so deep in your belly nearly made you cum again. Leaning in, you nodded your response with your gaze fixed directly on his brown eyes.

A look of understanding flashed across Silas’ face for a second, before he released your throat, hand settling on the nape of your neck to bring you in closer. Your plush lips met his own as he swallowed down your moans, exploring your mouth with his hungry tongue.

You opened up, letting him take control of the nastiest kissing you’ve ever participated in–tongues dancing, spit swapping, lip sucking until both of your mouths were glistening. Sinful. 

Silas’ free hand squeezed your hip, grounding you on top of him as he began to slowly grind up into you. Your mouths separated but your faces remained close as he held the back of your neck. Silas watched your face contort while he deepened his stroke inside you, letting you feel every single inch in your stomach.

The only thing you could focus on was his mouth, and how much you wanted that bottom lip back in your mouth. Fuzziness took over your brain, your eyes tearing up from the agonizingly slow but deep pace he was set on. 

The moment was intimate, much more than it had been previously, closer and slower than all those other times Silas had you broken you down. For the past few weeks, you resorted to quickies on the bathroom counter if you were at a party, in either of your cars parked somewhere dark, you’d even let him finger you under the table in the library while you were supposed to be “studying”. And now, with your roommate gone for the weekend, you were finally able to have a nice, passionate moment in a bed. 

In a way, the rushed, adrenaline-filled aspect of all your previous entanglements in those less intimate settings kept you from taking a deeper look at your relationship with Silas. You were friends, albeit much, much closer than “normal” friends should be. You met in a shared biology lecture, after Silas showed up late–and high as hell–and the only seat left open was to your right. You eventually agreed to become study partners, and you didn’t mind when some of those late night study sessions in Silas’ dorm turned into heated smoke sessions, which further turned into nasty intoxicated confessions from you both. 

Silas propped his feet up, lifting his hips before flipping you both over. He placed his hands on the backs of your knees, pushing back and kneeling down to lick a slow, wide stripe up your glossy cunt. You cried out from the new stimulation, squirming in his grasp.

“You taste so mothafuckin’ good, girl..” He moaned against your pussy in appreciation, slurping up your juices and rhythmically sucking on your clit with those pretty ass lips of his. You were entranced, eyes stuck on the scene in front of you, wondering what good you had done in this world to deserve all the bliss flowing through your system.

You watched as he pulled back from your pussy, chin glistening in your essence. He spread your sticky lips apart with two big fingers, hungrily watching you clench and pulse around nothing. The ravenous look in his eyes as he stared at your pussy turned you on like no other. They met yours again, and he licked and bit on his lip, letting you know that he was craving more, just as you were.

Your eyes and mouth fell wide open when Silas let a string of warm spit fall directly onto your clit, both the sensation and the view filling you with an immense amount of pleasure. You could feel the electricity flowing from your pussy to your toes, and back up through your spine, a complete shock to your system.

He let your legs fall to the side, big, warm hands on your face as he leaned in, kissing you once more. The sounds of you both groaning into each other's mouths as you tasted yourself on his lips echoed throughout the room. Your hips grinded up against his, needing to feel his length on and in you again. He pulled away first, one of his hands coming down to pin your knee out to the side, setting you still in place. “You want me to cum in this pussy?” 

You nodded, almost too eagerly. There was nothing else on your mind but the vision of him leaking out of you, vanilla cream dripping down your lips, the perfect match for your coffee complexion.

“Use ya words, boo.” 

You reached up, manicured hands pulling his face to just a couple inches from your own. He watched, expectantly, eyes moving from your eyes to your lips and back up again. You could feel him now, twitching and leaking against your inner thigh, so close to where you needed him most. “Cum in your pussy, Daddy.” 

With a curse under his breath, he sheathed himself inside of you in a quick movement, pausing once he filled you to the base. His eyebrows were furrowed as he stared into your eyes, mouth hung open like he’d never felt the warm, tight hug of your cunt around him before. His breath faltered, warm breath against your lips and vulnerability written across his face.

Your own breath was caught in your chest when he slid back, and then forced out when he pushed inside, gliding through your slick walls with ease. A wail escaped your lips as he punished your pussy, or at least that’s what it felt like he was doing. Reminding you of who he was. And reminding you of who you were. 

Your eyes clamped shut, toes curling and spine arching up off the bed more and more each time he touched your precious g-spot. Another orgasm began to build within your core, your body tightening up underneath him as you fiercely dug your teeth into your bottom lip.

Curses flew from your lips, broken and jumbled together, barely making any sense. You released his face, blindly allowing your hands to find his shoulders for support. Silas leaned down, moaning and groaning in your ear, filling you up with his dick before taking it all away, over and over and over again. 

“Daddyyy…fuck!!!” 

“Tell me it’s mine, baby, c’mon ma, I’m so fuckin’ close…” 

Your bodies were sticky with sweat and all your juices, creating the nastiest smacking sound each time he plunged inside. “It’s yours, I swear to god, it’s all yours baby, ohmyfuckinggoddd…”  You rambled off, barely even able to hear your own words. Your brain was much more focused on the ecstacy spreading through your entire body, making you tingle from your head to your toes. “I’m gonna cum, daddy, please don’t stop!!” 

“Give it to me, baby, c’mon, gimme that shit!” He kept the pace strong, not letting up until you fell apart on his dick one final time, this time with your juices spraying and splashing between your bodies. Your tightness mixed with the sudden wetness of your squirt sent him over the edge, causing him to yell out as he finally released deep inside you. 

“Fuuuck!!” His hips twitched and stuttered as he emptied himself out, not daring to pull out while you were still grasping onto him from underneath.

You whimpered, your body trembling, shaking like a leaf as your nails dug into his shoulders, deep enough to leave a few red crescent-shaped marks. The feeling of his nut filling you gave you the warmest feeling in your tummy, satisfaction spreading through your mind, body, and soul.

The two of you rested for a moment, the sounds of your heavy breathing became your only focus. The audience laughter from the television was more noticeable now, but neither of you could care less. Silas let more of his weight fall on you, cradling you from above while you calmed down your breathing. You turned your face, tucking yourself into his neck and leaving a few soft kisses on the damp skin in appreciation. 

Silas softly chuckled when you teased him with your tongue against his collarbone, knowing you both were too tuckered out for another round just yet. He pulled out of you, slowly, hissing at the overstimulation on his sensitive length. Sitting back on his knees in between your legs, he watched in admiration as seed spilled from your swollen lips, giving him a perfect view of the most beautiful painting he’s ever laid his eyes on–better than anything he’s seen in the MET. 

Observing his mark on you–in you–was gratifying, a surge of endearment and devotion growing within his own core. “C’mere..” 

You obeyed, lazily allowing him to reposition you on top of his chest, your faces just centimeters apart. 

“Tell me somethin’ real quick...you meant it?” 

That vulnerable look was back, although he did try to hide it by avoiding eye contact, instead focusing on your slightly puffy lips, swollen from all the kissing and biting and sucking. You knew what he was talking about, and you knew it was more than just dirty sex talk–something had been growing between the two of you and it was undeniable at this point. 

“Every word.”

i do not give permission for anyone to copy, translate, or repost any of my works. 18+ ONLY -- i am not responsible for the content you consume.

[justagalwhowrites]

Halcyon - Ch. 18: I Fucking Heard You

You and Joel adjust to life apart. A continuation of Halcyon from the prologue through Ch. 17, a modern no outbreak AU TLOU fic found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Angst. Modern No Outbreak AU, No use of Y/N, Slow burn, 18+ only, Minors DNI

Length: 8.3k

AO3 | Main Master List | Prologue | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

January, 2008 

He was going to actually do it this time. 

Joel was sitting outside your apartment building, drumming against the steering wheel of his truck, desperate to work out some of the anxious energy that kept building and building inside of him. 

But he just couldn’t keep it to himself anymore, he was done trying to pretend like he didn’t love you. He was going to say it. 

Actually say it. 

For real this time. 

He’d ignored it as long as he could manage, shoved it down and tried to kill it by going out with practically every girl in school for even longer. He didn’t want to ruin things between the two of you, he was terrified of that more than he was of just about anything else. You mattered more to him than anyone, he couldn’t lose you, especially not to his own stupidity. But he couldn’t keep how he felt separate from your friendship, either. He loved you so much he felt like he was choking on it, like it had to go somewhere outside of himself or he was going to lose his damn mind with it. 

So he’d finally worked up the courage to tell you. Rip the bandaid off. Maybe it wouldn’t blow up in his face, maybe… maybe you’d tell him you felt the same way. Maybe you’d grab him and kiss him the way he pretended you would when he thought about you when he was alone. Maybe you’d tell him you changed your mind about going across the country, maybe you’d go to college here in Austin and you’d move in together and he’d get to be next to you all the time. 

This, he decided, was the perfect night for it. There was a meteor shower he’d heard about on the news and he talked you into going to the park to watch it. It seemed right, telling you this with the whole galaxy stretched out in front of you. Things were changing tonight. He could feel it. 

He watched as you more fell than climbed out of your window, landing in the bushes and clumsily pulling yourself free of them before dashing to his truck. 

“What are you wearin’ Goldie Girl?” He teased as you got in, the collar of a second sweatshirt visible below your hoodie, the sleeves unusually bulky. 

“What!” You asked, brows raised. “It’s January! It’s cold! And… I couldn’t risk waking up my mom by going to the coat closet for my jacket.” 

Joel snorted. 

“I’m counting on you to keep me warm out there, Miller,” you said, buckling up as Joel started driving, his heart beating out a frantic rhythm against his ribs. “This whole thing was your idea.” 

“I got blankets,” he said. “Not gonna let you freeze.” 

As he drove, the two of you caught up on everything that had happened in the few hours it had been since you’d last seen him - no time at all, really, but it always dragged for Joel. It seemed like he was always just marking time until he got to see you again. He was almost always with you until curfew. Then, awake for an hour, sleep for eight, wake up and then just an hour before he was at your door again, picking you up to take you to school. Then it was three and a half hours until lunch - which you always had with him - then just an hour until your single shared class - newspaper, which he’d joined to make you happy - and then two hours until school was done and he was with you again.

You told Joel about Anna’s issues in school and Joel told you about his mom’s frustrations with his own grades. You rolled your eyes at him but smiled a little as you scolded him and told him you’d help him study, he just had to actually do it and he smiled and nodded along because he knew that. You were always trying to bring out the best in him. You were the only one who could.

“Oh, and, there’s the one really big thing,” you said as Joel parked his truck. 

“I got a big thing, too,” he said. Your eyes lit up at that, always ready to be excited for him. “Yours first.” 

“OK. So, you know Steve?” You asked, brows raised.

“Steve,” Joel frowned, trying to picture someone the both of you knew named Steve. 

“Yeah, Steve,” you said. “You know, Steve…” 

“You can keep saying his name all you want, I still don’t know who you mean,” he laughed. 

“Steve,” you said again, incredulous. “The yearbook editor, Steve.” 

“Oh!” He said, picturing the guy now. “Yeah, OK, Steve. Right. What about him?” 

“Well,” you said sitting up a little straighter. “He asked me out.” 

Joel just stared at you for a moment, blinking in shock. His stomach sank. He had the strange feeling that he was falling from some great height, not unlike what he felt when riding a roller coaster with you except there was no safety harness to keep him from tumbling to the earth. 

“What?” He said eventually. 

“Steve asked me out,” you said, chin up like you were proud. “I actually have a date, I’m not just hanging out with you for a change!” 

“You said yes?” He asked, his mouth dry. 

“Yeah, of course I did! We’re going to go to the movies,” you said, beaming, before you realized that Joel apparently wasn’t reacting the way you expected. You cocked your head, frowning. “Why, should I not have? Is there something wrong with him?” 

“No,” he said quickly. “No, sure he’s fine, I just… didn’t know you liked ‘im is all.” 

“I mean,” you shrugged. “He’s not bad looking and he’s funny and he’s smart and he writes… We have a lot in common. What’s not to like?”

Of course. Of course you’d go for someone more like you, someone who was smart like you and didn’t fucking struggle in school like he did, someone who wrote like you instead of just fucked around with their entire life like he did. Why on Earth would you be interested in him? Why on Earth would you waste your fucking time on someone like him when you were so clearly meant for so much better? Not that Steve was fucking good enough for you. No one was, Joel included. 

“Right,” he said. He thought he might throw up. 

“What?” You said, laughing awkwardly. “Are you OK? You look weird…” 

“Fine,” he said quickly. “Just… You know. Be careful, guys can be assholes.” 

“Yeah, you’d know,” you teased. 

“No, I mean it,” Joel said. “Sure he seems like a decent guy but…” 

“But?” You asked, brows raised. 

“He don’t deserve you,” he said. 

You smiled then, gently, reaching out and putting your hand on his thigh and giving his leg a squeeze. 

“You’re sweet,” you said. “And you’re worried about nothing. It’s high school. It’s a date. It’s not like we’re getting married. Oh, maybe we could all go out together sometime! Once you pick the new flavor of the week, I mean. I’ll actually have someone to go with now.” 

“Yeah,” Joel said, forcing himself to smile. “Yeah, that’d be fun.” 

He gathered up the blankets and set them out in the bed of his truck and he helped pull you into it, settling in just as the meteor shower started overhead. You pressed yourself close to him and he could feel the heat of your breath on his skin and fuck he wished it could have been him you said yes to. 

“Oh, what was your thing?” You asked, looking up at him from where your head was nestled against his chest. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to derail the conversation…” 

“Oh, uh,” Joel said, scrambling for something - anything - to say. “Tommy… decided to take after his big brother and go out for football next year.” 

“Nice!” You said, looking back at the sky again. “You’re going to put him through his paces before, right? Teach him how to take a hit?” 

Joel scoffed. 

“Course,” he said. “What kind of big brother would I be if I didn’t.” 

The two of you watched stars streak across the sky for hours. Joel set an alarm on his phone because he knew you’d sleep through one on yours and you snuggled close to him under the blankets. 

“You were right,” you said, voice sleepy. “This is really cool. Thanks for talking me into it.” 

“Course,” he said, resisting the urge to kiss you. “I’d do anything for you… Love you, Goldie.” 

You smiled against him. 

“Love you, too,” you said. 

He held you close and wondered what it would be like if you meant it the same way he did.  

***

September, 2023

“Aunt Goldie?” 

You looked up from painting Sarah’s toenails to see her watching you, her head cocked and a serious expression on her face, one that was partially obscured by the facial mask you’d applied before you’d started in on her nails during your at home spa day. 

“Niece Sarah?”

“Why are you and my dad still in a fight?” She asked. 

You just blinked for a moment, taking a moment to process her question. It caught you off guard - not that it should have. Things had been very different since her birthday party months earlier and Sarah was a smart kid. It made sense that she would notice. You just hadn’t prepared an answer - something that felt like a massive oversight now that it was in front of you. 

“What makes you think that we’re in a fight?” You said eventually, putting the brush back in the jar of polish before you dripped on the floor. 

“You never come over anymore,” she said. 

“Well, I live back at my own house now,” you said, starting in on her toes again. 

“Duh,” Sarah said and you could practically hear her eyes roll. “But even before you and Ellie lived with us you came over all the time and you don’t anymore. And my dad never comes here with me, he always just drops me off.” 

“We both have a lot going on,” you said, happy you had an excuse to not be looking her in the eye. “It’s not…” 

“I’m not stupid, you know,” she said and you looked up then, her gaze serious as she watched you closely. “I know something happened.” 

You finished her pinky toe and closed the nail polish with a sigh. 

“Sarah…” 

“My dad’s been acting different,” she cut you off, a little heated, and you frowned. 

“Different?” You asked. “Different how?” 

“He’s just…” she sighed. “I think he’s sad. He tries to pretend like he’s not and that everything’s normal but I know him and I can tell. I don’t know what happened but I think it’s stupid that you guys just aren’t talking or whatever right now. I wish you’d just figure it out.” 

You looked at Sarah, at her wide and hopeful eyes, and tried to figure out how to explain this to her.

How did you tell her that you weren’t sure how to move past how her father - the person you loved most in the world - apparently saw you? That you needed space from him because you couldn’t let yourself revolve around him anymore? That it wasn’t good for you to have your life so intertwined with someone who would, inevitably, go on to have a life outside of you?

It had been a strange two months, not seeing and even really speaking to Joel. 

The first day was strange. It was just you and Ellie and your cat in your house that had done nothing beyond collect dust in the months since your niece was born. 

Being there, alone, with Ellie made you nervous and you were sure she could sense it in you somehow, like she knew you were unworthy and letting her down by taking her away from the one fully competent person in her life because you were too selfish and couldn’t move past your own shit. 

To make matters worse, your mind kept going back to Joel and the strange life the two of you had made together in the months you’d lived with him. He’d become built into everything, the rhythm of your life out of sync without him and Sarah there, too. You missed both of them so much it hurt but it was especially painful with Joel. You missed the way the two of you would navigate around each other in the kitchen in the morning, his hand so often finding your hip or the small of your back when he needed to reach around you or move past you. The way you could hold your toothbrush out and he would put the right amount of toothpaste on it before going to bed at the end of the day. The way he would just open your beer for you when he got you one, because - while you didn’t need him to - he knew you didn’t like getting your nails under the pull tab of the can or twisting the cap on the bottles. 

Joel knew you. You’d been married a decade and you weren’t sure your husband had ever known you the way Joel did. He’d certainly never done things like that for you. Joel did. That was part of why that moment after Sarah’s party had caught you so off guard. You’d thought you meant more to him than that, that you were more than one of the women he’d pick up, have fun with for a night or a week or a month and then cast aside.

But then he shoved you against the wall in his kitchen and fucked you with his fingers like all you were to him was something physical, telling you how no one could fuck you like he did, as though that was the only thing that would matter. 

You tried to shove that keen loneliness that came with missing him down by focusing on Ellie and pouring your every thought onto the page. You just kept your niece as close as possible all the time, keeping her strapped to your chest as you sat at your desk to write until it felt like your brain was going numb or got your house cleaned up or made dinner or went for a walk just to get out of your own head for a bit. You hoped that all but smothering her with closeness would keep her from realizing the coldly obvious thing that was your desperation and it was a relief when you took her to the rehab facility to pick up Anna. 

This time, things with Anna and Ellie were smooth. Or as close to smooth as you could get with someone coming out of months of inpatient therapy and an infant. Anna seemed nervous with Ellie at first, hesitating and double checking everything, her eyes going from her daughter’s face to yours like she wanted your approval for how she was doing. 

“This is right?” She asked as she held the bottle while cradling Ellie in the way that Joel had shown you. 

“Yeah,” you smiled gently. “You’ve got it.” 

“Yeah,” Anna said, looking back down at Ellie and smiling a little, too. “I think I do.” 

You pulled back slowly then. 

The first two weeks, you were more hands on, doing at least 50% of the work of caring for Ellie, going with Anna daily to meetings and therapy, writing as much as you could and keeping Joel far from your mind. 

But, after a little while, Anna started to naturally take on more and more. The two of you went from splitting the overnight Ellie care to Anna handling everything. Slowly but surely, she took over everything and, by week five, all you were doing was watching as she cared for her daughter. 

“If you wanted to move back home, I think I’m ready,” she said one afternoon as she fed Ellie while you made some tweaks to the plot of your novel in your story notebook. 

“Are you sure?” You asked, setting your pen down, eyebrows drawn together. 

“Yeah,” she said. “Why, do you think I’m not?” 

“No!” You said quickly. “No, I think you’re doing great. I just don’t want you to feel like I’m abandoning you.” 

“It won’t be like it was before,” she smiled, a twinge of sadness in her expression as she did. “I know her now. I know me now. I’ve got this, I don’t need to hold you back anymore.” 

“You’re not…” you began, but she cut you off. 

“I am,” she said. “You have a life outside of me and her and you put it on hold because I couldn’t get my shit together…” 

“You just needed help…” you interjected, but she ignored you.

“…And I’m so sorry I put that on you,” she continued. “I’ll owe you forever for taking care of my daughter when I couldn’t. But we don’t need your help now, you can go back to your life. It’s OK. I promise.” 

You didn’t have the heart to tell her that, really, you didn’t have a life. Outside of your work, your book and your cat, you had nothing. You needed her more than she needed you. 

You’d tried to start getting a life of your own, getting out of the house and doing things on your own, well before this conversation. The first time you’d left Anna alone with Ellie for a few hours, you’d gone out with Tim, the man you’d met at Sarah’s party. 

It was a fine date. It would have been a great one had it been someone else but all you could think about when you looked at him was Joel forcing you to come on his fingers in his kitchen as he said over and over that no one else could make you feel like he did. 

Things fizzled out quickly when you realized it wasn’t something you could really get over. Since then, you hadn’t bothered with Tinder or trying to reach out to Alyssa or anyone else in town. The only person you’d really texted outside of Sarah and Anna was Gale. 

You hadn’t responded to anything your estranged husband had sent since you’d moved in with Joel but then, one day, he texted you something that made you respond. 

I didn’t want you to find this out on Facebook, that seemed wrong, but I wanted you to know that I became a father. 

You stared at the message, just a few days after Anna had said you could move back home, reading it as you held your sister’s infant daughter in your arms. You thought about ignoring it, shoving the strange, hollow feeling that was taking over the core of you down deep, but then he sent one more message, one you couldn’t just pretend he never sent at all. 

I’m sorry it wasn’t you. 

You held it together until Anna was done in the shower, giving Ellie to her and making up some excuse that you were sure she could tell was bullshit - something about a headache and feeling nauseated - so you could hide in the room that had become yours in the time you’d been at Anna’s. You buried your face in the pillow and screamed until your throat was raw and you were choking on your tears, barely able to breathe. 

It wasn’t you. It wasn’t you, not for anybody. He had been everything to you once but you hadn’t been anything to him, not really. It had never been you. 

This, you thought, you should have been used to by now. You’d always felt like you were on the fringes of your own life, the people at the center of your world putting you on the edges of theirs. Gale, when you’d first gotten together with him, was the first person since Joel who made you feel like you were a priority, like you actually mattered. That feeling had faded with time but that, you’d thought, was just a byproduct of what a whole life with someone meant. Of course he didn’t send you good morning texts with poetry anymore or get you flowers just because or go out of his way to get your favorite tea. You saw each other all the time, why would he?

But you’d been sure that, at least with your husband, you were the priority. Until he’d given you divorce papers, even through the months of distance and cold behavior, you’d thought that you were the priority.

Then you realized, you’d kept thinking that, even after he left, even now. The way the divorce had dragged on, the way he kept texting and calling and trying, some sad, sick part of yourself had latched onto that. That you were the important thing, that you were what mattered. Your marriage may have failed but you took some cold comfort in the fact that you’d at least left your mark on him.

But you hadn’t. You’d stopped sleeping together hardly more than a year ago and your husband already had a baby with another woman. Even in your marriage, you’d been on the fringes.

When you stopped crying enough that you could see clearly, you emailed your attorney.

Give him whatever he wants. I just need this to be done.

You knew what that meant. The last divorce agreement his lawyer had sent yours included shared rights to your own fucking book, him keeping the house without buying you out, him keeping the entirety of the 401k. He was asking for a lot but all you wanted then was to cut the tie as thoroughly as possible. As terrifying as it was to live in a world that made it seem like your marriage had never happened, it was better than this. 

Your lawyer called you to be sure, to try to talk you out of it, but you didn’t care. He could have whatever percentage of book rights he wanted, it's not like you could have created it without him. He could have the house, it’s not like you could ever live in it without him. He could have the entire state of Rhode Island for all you cared as long as you’d never be faced with the sharp reality of your marriage.

You wrote furiously when it was done, the words pouring out of you in a way they hadn’t since you’d written Halcyon. You barely slept or ate for days, canceling classes and writing until there wasn’t anything left inside you to say. You finished the manuscript, 33 chapters of your love and pain sitting in front of you. You stared at it for a moment, the cursor pulsing at the end of the final sentence. 

It was over. You weren’t sure what you were supposed to do now, but it was done. 

You were numb when you were on your couch a few days later, staring at the ceiling with nothing but your cat to keep you company, when your phone rang. You answered it without bothering to look at the screen, content to even talk to a telemarketer for a few minutes if it served as enough of a distraction.

“Hello?”

“What the hell is this, baby doll?”

You sat up fast enough that your head spun, pulling your phone away from your face to see Gale’s name on your screen. You put your ear to the phone again.

“What the hell is what?”

“This,” he said and you could hear the shuffle of papers on the other end.

“You realize we’re not on facetime, right?”

“You know what I mean,” he said. “This, the new divorce agreement your lawyer sent mine, what is this?”

You frowned, putting the call on speaker before going to your most recent email with your attorney and skimming the agreement. Your frown deepened.

“Isn’t that what you wanted?” You asked. “I thought you’d be happy, I…”

“You think this is what I want?” He cut you off, sounding heated.

“Isn’t it what you asked for?” you asked. “I don’t think I missed anything, you should have everything you wanted, and…”

“What I asked for is outrageous,” he said. You heard him put something down with a little too much force on the other end – probably a mug, knowing him – the sound of the ceramic on wood sharp. “I knew that when I asked for it."

"OK," you said, pinching the bridge of your nose, taking the phone off speaker and holding it against your ear again. “What else do you want? Do you want me to say you won or something? Because…”

“I want you to reconsider,” he said.

You just sat there for a moment, blinking in shock.

“What?”

“You heard me,” he said. “What is this. Why are you giving in to me like this.” 

It still took you a moment to process what he said before you could manage to answer. 

“I’m just trying to give you what you want,��� you said, voice thick. 

“You’ve never done that before,” he said. “Hell, even when we were together you never did that, you never just gave into me unless you wanted it, too. Why now.” 

“You…” you sighed. “You’re a father now, you have… there’s someone else in your life now, you have another life now, Gale, and you should live it. I’m holding you back, I don’t want to hold you back, I…” 

“You’ve never held me back,” he said. “I’ve told you that.” 

“Well, clearly I wasn’t right for you in some way or we wouldn’t be where we’re at right now,” you snapped without meaning to. “I’m not the one who wanted to separate, that was you.” 

“Yeah, well, I fucked up,” he said and you had to bite your tongue. “I was… I’ve never been with anyone as long as I was with you…” 

“Yeah, me ether,” you said voice still sharp. “I was with you for more than a third of my life Gale.” 

“I know that,” he said, speaking more gently than you. “I should have known better, I should have understood how things would change and I should have embraced your success instead of letting it hurt me…” 

“My success hurt you?” You asked quietly. 

He sighed heavily. 

“It did,” he said. “You thrived commercially in ways I never could. I envied that, so much that I couldn’t stand being around you.” 

“That’s it?” You asked. “That’s what made you leave me, the fact that I sold more books than you did?” 

“No, of course not,” he said. “But it’s… it’s what started it.” 

You almost laughed to keep yourself from crying because of course it was the one success you’d found that broke your marriage. Why would it be anything else? 

“That’s not what I was trying to do,” you said. 

“I know,” he said. “I was wondering if…” 

“Does Carla know you’re talking to me?” You asked, cutting him off. 

“Does she need to?” He asked. “You’re my wife.” 

“And she’s the mother of your child,” you said. “I’m not going to be the other woman in my own marriage. You need to figure out what you want.” 

“And if I want you?” He asked. 

You sighed. 

“You have a family now,” you said. “Think before you blow it up.” 

But ever since, Gale had been a bigger presence in your life than Joel. He’d started acting like he had in the early days of your relationship, sending you romantic texts and having flowers delivered to your house. 

Part of you knew you should resist it, that this wouldn’t lead anywhere good. There was a reason things had fallen apart once before, you knew they would again. But going back to him would be so easy. He was comfortable, familiar. There was a life the two of you had together that you knew you could fit back into now, if you wanted. It might be complicated - he had a child now - but it was there, right in front of you. 

You just weren’t sure if you wanted it. 

So you started talking with him. Not a lot, not like it had been before, but you were texting daily. He wanted to know about your book, how your classes were going, about your life in Texas. Part of you was waiting for the other foot to drop, for him to decide that he didn’t want you again, but he was consistent and that, at least, was something. 

Meanwhile, your only contact with Joel was in a group chat with Sarah. 

You might have needed space from Joel but you couldn’t just cut things off with Sarah. It wasn’t fair to her, you knew she was attached to you. Plus, she had become like a niece or daughter to you in the year you’d known her. You knew the names of her friends and her favorite songs and the books she liked. You loved her. You’d had to keep in touch. She regularly came over to watch a movie or have dinner and she called you at least three times a week to ask for help with homework and tell you about her life.  

While you kept up with Sarah, you never really directly spoke to Joel. You only texted in the group chat to confirm that it was OK for you to pick up Sarah and what time she needed to be back, or when Joel would drop her off and pick her up at your place. 

But you’d opened up your texts to send him a message directly at least once a day and every time you just stared at the last thing he’d sent you: I’m sorry. It was sent just hours after you’d left his house with Ellie weeks before. 

You weren’t sure what the hell you were supposed to say to him, what you were supposed to do with that apology. Were you supposed to accept it and pretend it had never happened? Were you supposed to actually have him explain to you, on no uncertain terms, how he saw you and what he wanted from your relationship? Could you handle actually hearing him say it if you did? 

You didn’t know. So you left it alone, the message glaring at you, the date stamp going further and further into the past with every passing day. 

And that’s where your relationship with Joel sat, frozen in time, as his daughter watched you closely. 

“You should come over tonight,” Sarah said. You raised your eyebrows and she stared you down. “When you drop me off. Just come inside, say hi, have dinner. It’s think he said he was going to grill.” 

“I’m sure he already has everything planned out for tonight,” you said, returning to the work of painting her last nail and closing the polish. “I don’t think it’s a good idea…” 

“Please?” She said, her eyes wide. She had to know what she was doing, looking at you that way. She was too smart for her own good. “I miss you.” 

You sighed. 

“Alright…” 

“Yes!” She punched the air in victory. 

“But just to say hi,” you said and her face fell a little. “I don’t want to impose.” 

“Psh, family doesn’t impose,” she waved you off. You looked at her, incredulous. “What? That’s what Uncle Tommy says when he wants to stay for dinner.” 

You snorted. 

“Yeah, I bet he does,” you said. “Alright, once your toes dry, we’ll go to the bookstore and get you home.” 

“And you’ll come inside?” 

“And I’ll come inside,” you said, even though the thought made your stomach knot. “Promise.” 

You took her to the bookstore, just wandering through with her and picking out a few new things for her - because you weren’t above buying a kid’s love - and got in line, where you passed a table of best sellers. 

Halcyon was sitting there, out in paperback now, one copy sitting face down so your portrait was visible on the back. Sarah frowned and picked it up, examining it for a moment before her face lit up. 

“Aunt Goldie!” She said, thrusting the book at you. “That’s you! I didn’t know you were famous!” 

You shushed her, someone in line in front of you turning to look at you. 

“OK, well, I’m not famous,” you said, taking the book from her and setting it back where it belonged. “I just wrote a book that people liked, that’s all.” 

“My dad said you wrote a book, I didn’t know it was a famous book,” she said. “Can I read it?” 

“Absolutely not,” you said, nudging her forward as the line moved. 

“Why not?” She pouted. 

“Because, as much as I love you and know how good of a reader you are, I wrote the book for adults,” you said. “You can read it in 10 years. Maybe.” 

“Well, will you tell me what it’s about?” She asked. 

You sighed, not entirely sure how to answer that question. At least, not to Sarah. 

“It’s…” you paused. “It’s about love and figuring out who you are with it and without it.” 

“Oh,” she crinkled her nose a little. 

“What?” You asked, laughing a little. 

“Sounds kinda boring,” she said. “Sorry.” 

You snorted. 

“No, you’re right,” you said. “It probably is boring.” 

You paid for the books, the person in line behind you stopping you on your way out the door to sign a copy of your book they’d just bought, Sarah beaming as she watched, and drove to Joel’s. 

You took a moment to steel yourself as you sat in his driveway. You hadn’t been in Joel’s house since you’d left. Any time you picked up or dropped off Sarah, you just sat in the car and waited for her to come to you or watched her until she was safely inside. You didn’t dare actually go in the house. That, you knew, was a bridge too far.

But you’d overcome bigger obstacles. You could do this, too. 

You pulled yourself together and followed Sarah inside. 

Nothing had changed. The blanket that was made by Joel’s mother was still draped on the end of the couch, his work boots were in a heap near the door, a beach towel from the pool was drying on a chair outside that you could just see through the sliding glass door. In spite of the knot in your stomach, this place felt like home. There was comfort here because the people you loved were here. 

“That you baby girl?” Joel called from down the hall. 

Your heart stuttered.

“It’s just me,” she called back.

You heard the telltale sounds of his footsteps as he made his way to the stairs. 

“For dinner, did you…” he said before he froze, looking up from his phone to find you standing there, in his living room. 

You smiled tightly. 

“Hi Joel.” 

***

You were here. 

In his living room, you were here. You were here and you weren’t ignoring him and maybe he hadn’t fucking ruined everything. You were here and holy fuck you looked good, just in shorts and a tank top and fuck, he wanted to touch you again. 

Instead, he just swallowed that driving want and cleared his throat, standing up a little straighter as he did. 

“Hey, Goldie.” 

You smiled. Not in that usual way you had, one that was quieter and stiller but still there. 

“I told Aunt Goldie that she should come over and stay for dinner,” Sarah said. 

“Oh,” Joel said, looking between you and Sarah. “Well, baby girl, Aunt Goldie’s been real busy lately and…” 

“She already said she could stay for dinner,” Sarah said, almost smirking. “And I know you guys aren’t in a fight because you’ve both said you’re not in a fight and you’d never lie to me about that, right?” 

Joel looked at you, a little desperate, and you just gave him a small shrug. 

“Right,” she finished for him. “So that means she can stay for dinner because there’s no reason she can’t and oh, look! Vanessa is calling me so I’m just going to go into my room until dinner is ready and talk with her and not listen to whatever you two are going to talk about. Bye!” 

She ran upstairs, taking them two steps at a time, leaving you and Joel standing there awkwardly in his living room. 

“Sorry,” he said at the same time you did and you both laughed awkwardly.

“She’s conniving, that one,” you said. 

“Little trickster,” Joel agreed. 

He just watched you for a moment, happy that he could see you - actually see you, not just picture you like he usually did now.  

“I should have called,” you said after you were both quiet for a moment. “I shouldn’t have just… It doesn’t matter that she wanted me to come over like this, I should have called and…” 

“No, it’s fine,” Joel said quickly. “You’re always welcome here, Goldie, you don’t need to call.” 

You smiled, small again, but it was there. 

“Thanks,” you said. “I should have at least brought something, though, I know you weren’t planning on me being here… I can just go, I don’t…” 

“Think we can find enough food in this house to feed three people,” he said, stepping closer, smiling a little. “Stay, if you want. I’d… I’d really like it if you stayed.” 

“OK,” you said and you smiled like you then, small at first but then wide and bright and welcoming. “Then yeah, I’ll stay.” 

Falling into you again was so fast and so easy. You followed him to the kitchen and the two of you made awkward, stilted conversation for a minute or two but, before long, you were perched on the counter while he made burger patties from the ground beef in the fridge as you told him how Ellie was doing and he told you what he’d been up to since you’d left. 

Which, he had to admit, he was embellishing a little because, without you and Ellie, his life had been pretty gray. 

After you left, it took a few days before it felt like he could do anything but take care of Sarah and stare at his phone. He’d texted you an apology, something he immediately regretted. He should have figured out a better way to say it instead of just “I’m sorry” and kept his mouth shut until he did. He kept hoping that you’d reply, that you’d give him a chance to say something better than “I’m sorry.” 

Eventually, he gave up and tried to figure out how to live without you again. It was harder than he’d expected it to be. He’d done it before when you’d gone more than just a few miles down the road and he’d lived through that, this shouldn’t have been any worse. But it was. 

Your lives had become so entangled, so in step, you were missing in everything he did. There were reminders of you everywhere and in everything, so much so that he needed an outlet. 

So, he started playing guitar more.

It hurt at first because, for some masochistic fucking reason, he kept being drawn to songs about heartbreak and loss. But eventually, he got to the point that he wanted to do something besides wallow. It took him some time to figure out what the fuck that meant but, eventually, he settled on the perfect thing: his business plan. 

Part of him wanted to believe that he was doing it only for himself. That this was what he wanted, it was the next step he needed to take to make his life - and the life he was building for his daughter - what he wanted it to be. 

But that wasn’t true, you were in this, too. This was what he needed to do to be worthy of you. Maybe, if he could actually fucking make something of himself, you’d want him the way he wanted you. 

So he’d put together the damn business plan. He put together the business plan and thought up a name and made an appointment at the bank to apply for the loan he’d need to start the company to begin with. He did everything he had to to make something of himself. He did it because he’d been wanting to be something since he’d first held his daughter. He did it because you gave him the courage and the drive to do it. 

He didn’t tell you that part of it but he did tell you about the business stuff and he couldn’t help but be a little proud as he did. 

But it was strange being close to you again like this, in ways that weren’t as intimate as they’d been just a few months before. He couldn’t just touch you as he cooked, trailing his hand up your thigh or his fingers over the delicate skin on the inside of your wrist where he could feel the pulse of you. Even with that odd distance, it felt like you should be close to him all the time, like he shouldn’t need to catch up with you like this because he should just know. He should just be living all of this with you.

“I’m so glad you guys aren’t fighting anymore,” Sarah said cheerfully when she finally emerged from her room for dinner, the three of you gathered around Joel’s table with cheeseburgers standing tall on your plates. 

You looked at Joel, brows raised and nose scrunched and he sighed before looking back at Sarah. 

“We weren’t fighting, baby girl,” he said. 

“Oh, sure,” Sarah nodded sarcastically. 

“He’s right. As much as I would love to just hang out with you and your dad all day, I’m afraid I do have a job,” you said. “And that means I have to be somewhere else at least some of the time.” 

“I’ve just decided that I’m not going to let you guys not talk to each other for my whole life again,” she said. “So say whatever you want, I’m just glad Aunt Goldie is back.” 

She got up and gave you both a squeeze. 

“I’m going to go do homework,” she said. 

“Believe that when I see it,” Joel scoffed. 

“And you guys have fun,” she said, ignoring you both before heading to her room. 

You watched her go, an amused smile on your face until you heard her bedroom door closed. 

“She is too smart for her own good, for the record,” you said. 

“Tell me about it,” Joel laughed. “Fuck if I know where she gets it from, too. Sure as hell ain’t me.” 

“You always underestimate yourself,” you smiled a little, watching him now. Joel shrugged. “Is it weird to say I’m proud of you? For the business stuff I mean?” 

“Nah,” Joel waved you off. “Not weird. Couldn’t have done it without you.” 

“Yes you could,” you said. “But I’m glad I got to be a part of it.” 

“Want to be more of a part of it?” He asked. “Because no one but me has read this business plan and, I’m not gonna lie to you Goldie girl, that’s making me pretty damn nervous.” 

You laughed a little. 

“Yeah,” you said. “I’d be happy to.” 

Joel just watched as you went through the documents, a serious look on your face, and you made some notes on scratch paper as you went, weirdly anxious about what you would say. Because what you thought mattered even more than the damn bank. 

“This is good,” you said when you finished, nodding slowly. “I have some questions but I think this is really good, Joel.” 

“Yeah?” He asked, brows raised. 

You smiled, one of your smiles, the ones he loved so much. 

“Yeah,” you said. “You’re getting that loan, Miller. You’re about to be Joel Miller, proud founder of Miller Brothers Construction and Contracting, how’s it feel?” 

He laughed.

“Pretty damn good,” he said. “But I do want your notes, I really want to do something right for once in my damn life.” 

“Sure,” you laughed. “But I have had a beer and four glasses of iced tea since I’ve been here so I have to pee first. Think you can manage to wait for like… two minutes?” 

“I guess,” Joel groaned. “Cave to your basic human frailties, God you’re so lame.” 

You rolled your eyes at him but ran off to the bathroom and Joel watched you go, his eyes lingering on your ass and he tried to not picture you naked in his bed, remembering the way you looked when you slept naked and kicked the covers off in the night and he could see every inch of your skin beside him. 

Your phone vibrating on the table pulled him out of his own head and he was about to call your name when he frowned, seeing the name on screen. 

Gale was calling you. 

Fucking Gale. 

He watched it ring out, staring it down like it was a threat. 

What the fuck were you doing talking to fucking Gale? You weren’t speaking to the guy when you’d been staying at Joel’s. What was he doing calling you now? 

“Alright,” you said, clapping your hands together once before punching the air as you made your way back to the kitchen. “Let’s do this thing, Miller!” 

“Why is Gale calling you?” He asked. 

Your face fell. 

“What?” You asked quietly. 

“Gale,” he said, feeling himself get madder than he should. “The fucking asshole you’re supposed to be getting away from, Gale. Your ex-husband, Gale.”

“He’s not my ex-husband,” you said, shoving your hands in your back pockets and squaring your jaw. “We’re still married. And it’s not your business who I talk to…” 

“Not your ex-husband?” He asked. “And not my business? It’s not my business, right, great…” 

“Are we doing this again?” You asked, brows raised. “Really? You’re going to be pissed that I’m seeing someone…” 

“You’re fucking seeing him?” He asked, getting to his feet. “You’re getting back together with your ex-husband, the same one who treated you like shit? Jesus Christ, Goldie!” 

“I don’t know what I’m doing!” You snapped. “But I do know that he’s coming here tomorrow so we can talk and he’s going to help me with my book and…” 

“Why!” He cut you off. “Why the fuck are you going back to that… that… fucking asshole? Goldie, you’re so much BETTER than him! You don’t…” 

“He’s my husband, Joel!” You all but yelled. “He’s someone that I promised to be with for the rest of my life and that means something, I can’t just pretend it didn't happen! We’ve been talking and…” 

“And what?” Joel snapped. “What, he start manipulating you again?” 

“Again?” You asked, incredulous. “What do you mean again, you don’t know anything about our relationship, you don’t know what he was like then, what I was like then! You don’t know that part of my life, stop pretending like you do!” 

“And why don’t I know it, hm?” He asked, just pissed off now. “Tell me, why don’t I know that part of your life when I know all the others, why don’t I know that part?” 

“Don’t,” you said, sharp and cold. 

He didn’t listen. 

“Because you left! I don’t know because you left, you left me here like I was nothing, like I didn’t fucking matter to you and yeah, maybe I didn’t but…” 

“No, fuck you,” you spat. “You don’t get to pretend like you’re just some innocent in all this…” 

“Then what am I?” He demanded. “Tell me, I’m fucking dying to know how it’s my fuckin’ fault that you took off across the damn country, changed your damn number, blocked me on goddamn Facebook when I LOVED you…” 

“Don’t,” you said, tears at the edges of your eyes. “Don’t do that, don’t say that kind of shit to me…” 

“Say what?” He asked. “Tell you the truth? Because…” 

“Because I’m not just some girl you fuck and cast aside, Joel!” You got in his face, tears falling now. “So don’t feed me the same lines you feed them because it won’t work and it’s not fair to me or to our friendship and…” 

“What lines!” He asked. “I’m not feeding you any fucking lines, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” 

“I heard you!” You yelled, breathless, forceful enough that Joel stepped back from you. 

“What?” He whispered. 

“I heard you,” you said. “When you were talking with Ricky, under the bleachers after prom, I heard you. I heard how much you regretted that night, I heard what you thought of me, I fucking heard you, Joel. So don’t act like you didn’t do anything, don’t act like I meant something to you because I know I didn’t. I know what I was, I know I was just some stupid girl you regretted fucking, I heard you. I know what I am to you, deep down, so forgive me if I’m not exactly desperate to talk through this shit with you. I’m sorry the fact that someone out there wants me, actually wants me, is so inconvenient for you!” 

You snatched your phone from the table and stalked toward the door. 

“No,” he said, going after you. “No, Goldie, listen, I…”

“I’m really not interested in hearing more of your bullshit, Joel,” you snapped. “I can’t, I just don’t have it in me to hear you talk about how much you regret me anymore.” 

You paused in the doorway, looking back at him as he scrambled to find a way to say something - anything - that would make you stay. 

“Good luck at the bank,” you said. “I’m sure you’ll get what you’re asking for.” 

You were gone before he had a chance to respond. 

Next Chapter

A/N: I'm so sorry this took a million years. Thank you for being patient as my job put me through the wringer and grad school just beat me over the head repeatedly.

This was a BIG moment for Goldie in particular! She FINALLY said it, the reason why she left and why she thinks he doesn't want her. She reopened the wound and now the ball is in Joel's court. We'll see what he does with it :)

Taglist: @kaseyconnour

[suiana]

need more killer harem and organ seller

(yandere! killer harem x gn! organ seller reader) (first fic of 2024 oh em gee 😋😋)

"it's going to be 2024."

"yeah."

you reply to his statement as you stand motionlessly, staring up at the night sky as your provider for the day stands beside you. you tug at your turtleneck sweater nervously, avoiding his gaze as you attempt to ignore how he inches closer to you with each passing second.

you two remain silent after that, him staring affectionately at you and you standing awkwardly beside him. you nervously eye the railing you leaned against, watching as the crowd below you engages in merry discussion. gulping awkwardly, you play with your hands as you mentally curse yourself for deciding to accept his offer of watching the new year's fireworks with him. you should've known better than to accept one of your lovesick admirers hand in something so romantic.

plus, it's not like you did anything like this for any of your other partners. sure, you kissed a few, held some tenderly, indulged multiple on dates, maybe even fucked one or two... but you've never agreed to watch fireworks like lovers do! speaking of which...

it's almost creepy how each and every one of your business partners turn out infatuated with you one way or another. was it the air? was it because they were all mentally insane? you don't know and you couldn't bother to care. because the more you know, the deeper you fall into the rabbit hole of their lives.

so you don't know why you've decided to indulge this organ provider for today. especially since... he looks more deranged than the rest.

"hey, can i ask something?"

he asks, staring at you with that same creepy smile that sends chills up your spine. yet, you nod in response to his question. he simply laughs at that, turning to look at the night sky before mumbling softly.

"would you choose me out of everyone else?"

you pause, looking at him with narrowed eyes before shaking your head. you're not going to entertain any nonsense. you knew you should've left earlier-

"mn... that's too bad. i would've chosen you in a crowd of others. it hurts me to know you wouldn't do the same."

he holds your wrist tightly, mumbling in faux hurt as he smiles eerily at you. you freeze, not moving as you glare at your business partner. damn, you can't believe you actually agreed to be here with him in the first place.

"let go."

"nah. i like holding you."

you grit your teeth, but do nothing to break free as you continue to stare at him. he merely hums in response, smiling as he looks across the city skyline.

all of a sudden, he pins you to the railing, face way too close for comfort.

"mn... you're so cute like this... can i kiss you?"

you squirm under his grip, heart beating loudly as all you can focus on is his eager face.

"g-get off!"

you huff, pushing at his chest as you sweat nervously. shit, he could easily push you over the railing and you'd be mush like some of his victims- that's when you felt his lips brush against yours, kissing your cheek as his hands go to the back of your neck.

you stop in place, looking up as he pulls away only to realize that it was a new year. your fingers gently touch your cheek as you eye him. he didn't kiss you on the lips? what was he up to?

"haha! how silly you are. i just wanted to give you a new year's present. don't be so tense."

he gestures to the necklace around your neck. ah... so that's what he did...

"and there was ice cream on your face from just now. didn't tell you cause i thought you'd notice but you're much more clumsier than i thought! don't worry, i cleaned it for ya. free of charge~"

he winks at you before grinning.

"happy new year. i hope you'll make the right choice when the time comes."

he then waves at you before turning around, leaving you alone to you thoughts as the sound of the fireworks takes your attention. right choice huh... was this a sign that your business partners were planning something? you sure hope not...

you wouldn't want to have to make such a difficult choice. especially since choosing just one would mean you'd make enemies out of the rest. you sigh out, rubbing your temples before leaning against the railing again. oh well, you'll just enjoy the pretty display for now. after all, that's what you came for. you'll deal with the problems later.

"...happy new year, i guess."

yeah, what a happy new year this year will be :)

[vixstarria]

My Fanfiction Master List

All fics can also be found on my AO3.

The following have accidentally turned into a series, although each can be read as a standalone.

Mostly Astarion x female Tav / reader, with appearances from other companions.

To summarise: a take on Astarion's relationship progression with a hectic, unhinged bardlock Tav. Mostly humour and banter, fluff with light angst. And then there's the smut.

Ongoing series

Bloodbang Chronicles - post-game continuation of my bardlock series (see below), Astarion x f!OC - Astarion and Asmodea are running a cabaret. Shit goes down, hilarity ensues. The horrors persist, but so do they.

Masterlist | chapter 1 of 12 (so far) - start here

One-shot series:

Fluff etc

In chronological order, as they would take place in-game:

Where my nice, simple plan fell apart - scenes of Astarion x Tav relationship progression in Act 1 generally

Another Gift - Tav tries to comfort or distract a brooding Astarion, reflections on vampirism / Astarion's past

Mark me as yours (Astarion POV) - takes place the morning after 'Missionary with the lights off' (filed below under smut) - a day of pining in camp in the life of Astarion

Down by the river (alternating POV) - 18+, takes place immediately after 'Mark me as yours' - Astarion and Tav spend a night by the river, away from camp

Something real (Astarion POV) - An evening in camp, Astarion and Tav are finally alone

Are you mine? (Astaion POV) - just flirty pillow talk and comfort

Gentle Warding Bond - short & sweet, Astarion finds the "true love's caress" and "true love's embrace" rings in the Shadow-Cursed lands and makes a decision

Admit that you love me - Act 2, Gale fucks around and finds out, Lae'zel becomes poetic and Astarion most certainly does not tell you that he loves you

Confession (Astarion POV) - title self-explanatory, love confession, tooth-rotting sweetness

The Morning After - short fic, follow-up to 'Confession', morning in camp - banter, humour, etc

Intimacy - Astarion's struggle with sex and intimacy, includes some fairly softcore smut

Communication - It has been nice, but it's time Tav and Astarion actually figured out what it is they're doing and what comes next

A night at the inn (part 1) - the gang gets a chance to let loose for a while. Humour, banter, and a lead-up to something smutty to come [Parts 2 & 3 under smut]

Smut

Also part of series.

Missionary with the lights off - Uh. Some really mindblowing sex here. No, really. Porn with plot, fluff to smut

Seeing stars - Astarion is jealous. What's more, he's eager to prove that no one could possibly compete with him.

A remedy for sleeplessness - porn no plot, Tav can't sleep and Astarion takes matters into his own hands

What do you want to do with it? - porn no plot, dirty talk, 'use your words', oral sex (male receiving) (kinda)

A night at the inn (part 2) - porn, Astarion x Halsin x F!Tav/Reader, dirty talk, oral sex, PIV and more

A night at the inn (part 3) - continuation of porn, Astarion x Halsin x F!Tav/Reader, vampire bites as an aphrodisiac edition

Sweat - porn with plot. Astarion, Halsin and Tav become a triad after the fall of the Netherbrain. This is a story of how it begins, progresses, and eventually ends. [Most recently posted oneshot]

The Sheath of Frontiers - Wyll's never been with a man. Astarion and Tav decide this must be rectified. (and yes that was an anal pun)

Challenges, shorts and misc

2024 Kinktober masterlist - a ficlet following a different prompt for each day of October 2024

'Erotic Misadventures' - my entry for the BG3 April Foolishness challenge: 'write something spicy that uses the worst possible terms for body parts, sex acts'. Reader beware.

Apples - Very important questions are asked and answered about vampires, their warped sense of taste, and pussy

Untitled - Ask reply HC, Astarion accidentally attacks Tav during a nightmare

A cut - Tav accidentally cuts themselves, and Astarion scampers over like a cat to a can of tuna

Untitled - Ask reply, bonus scene following Seeing Stars - jealous giddy Astarion enacts revenge on Wyll after his failed awkward dance seduction attempt

'Gentle Warding Bond' should rightfully be here also, but it's too relevant to the 'plot' if you can call it that

Other / not my Tav

I thought I lost you - Written for a Valentine's Day exchange for astarioffsimpmain - Astarion x plus-sized Tav / Reader - angst with happy ending, mild smut

The Witching Hour - Written for an autumn / Halloween exchange for tragedybunny, Astarion x Sera - light angst, hurt/comfort

Asmodea - my OC bardlock headcanons etc

(the lady in all the above fics)

Commission - Asmodea and Astarion in Bloodbang Chronicles

Commission - Asmodea and Astarion post-game

Gifted art from Valentine's Day exchange

Gifted art from Halloween exchange

Some screenshots, also here and here

Asmodea x Astarion kinky NSFW alphabet

OC Questionnaire

OC more in-depth questionnaire

Another 'get to know your Tav' post

OC songs and outfits

Why my Tav fell for Astarion

Why Astarion fell for my Tav

OC (i.e. Asmodea's, not mine) MBTI results for shits and giggles

Wow the tumblr search function really sucks, can't find jack shit through it. Anyway.

P.S. I am a whore for comments, and nothing sparks joy and feeds further inspiration quite like a simple "HHHNNNNNG ASFKJAGJLKSJF" in comments or reblog tags. And no fic is too old to receive comments on - they are ALWAYS a joy.

P.P.S Feel free to leave a comment if you'd like to be added to a taglist. :) And if so, do let me know if there are any categories you would prefer to be excluded from.

[sunsets-and-crows]

Is It Casual Now?

pairing: Reader x Sylus

Word count: 7K

---

As you begin to accept your feelings for him, your complicated relationship with Sylus takes a darker turn. As his world unravels before you, desire and fear blur into one. Can you handle the intoxicating power he wields, or will it consume you both?

You miss him while he’s away and end up in a situation you never thought would happen.

tags: PWP porn with plot (if you squint), don/sub themes, a little angst. NSFW content MDNI- please read with caution, AU lads! Warnings ahead!

Sulus has been living in my head rent free since I downloaded this damn game. It’s my first time writing so please let me know what you think!

A few content warnings for y’all please read them carefully!

Dark Themes, Dub-Con elements (particularly with questionable use of Sylus’ Evol. Consent is a big theme though and he does 100% get consent to do anything and everything he does) , Power play, dominance, and submission. It’s Sylus, guys, what did you expect? Violence and Gore (he’s going to kill some people) Child Endangerment (if you squint) Mentions of children being involved in adult situations or discussions (no children are actually harmed in this fic, just a nasty person offering that) Sexually explicit content: they really do be fucking like rabbits. Unprotected Sex: don’t be stupid guys.

The sunset glowed a vibrant orange, illuminating the streets below the penthouse window you were currently looking out of. Letting out a sigh, you basked in the weakened rays’ warmth and pulled the hoodie closer around your nightdress-clad body. Well, his hoodie. The material wrapped around you deliciously and it was probably more expensive than your salary for the month. But that wasn’t what drew you to it in the first place. The smell comforted you. You took another deep breath in at the collar and savoured the musky scent you could only describe as him. He always smelled so good.

Sighing again at the thought, you checked your phone for what felt like the thousandth time that evening. The blank screen almost mocked you. You should’ve been used to this, but each time the silver-haired menace left you here, you couldn’t help but let the worry eat at you.

Today, you’d left the bedroom to find a note in his signature cursive scrawl letting you know that he would be back later. Later. You scoffed at the thought of later. When even was later? Sometimes later meant a few hours, sometimes it meant the afternoon and on rare occasions, later meant a few days.

Before you could let the thought consume you, your phone buzzed in your pocket. You made a grab for it quickly – 1 new message. From Rafayel. You hated yourself for being disappointed.

20:43 Rafayel: where are you honey

You quickly typed a response, some shit about working late or meeting a friend. Honestly, you put so little thought into the reply that guilt crept its way back in, so you deleted it and retyped.

20:50 Me: I’ve taken the day off for some much needed rest and relaxation! I haven’t even had my phone on me. Do you need something Raf? I can talk :)

You replied, you know, like a liar.

20:51 Rafayel: No worries cutie

20:51 Rafayel: I haven’t heard from you all day so naturally I thought you died

20:53 Rafayel: only reason I could think of for your lack of contact.

20:53 Rafayel: rest well cutie

20:53 Rafayel: next time text me back and dun make me wait!

20:55 Rafayel: I’d die without your attention.

His reply was humorous, but you knew deep down he was actually worried about you. You felt a little bad, but at least he was cracking jokes like usual.

Rolling your eyes and huffing out a laugh, you pulled yourself away from the living room window and made your way into the kitchen. The sun had now set completely. You’d been alone all day and frankly the boredom and worry were eating you alive. You needed something to do. You glanced at the clock in the kitchen and sighed again. You hated eating on your own, but now, at 9:00pm, you had no other choice. Your stomach growled loudly in agreement.

You’d stayed at his hotel many times. Sometimes for work near the N109 zone and other times just because he asked you to. Sometimes he’d bring you here on dinners and shopping trips that felt so much like dates, they left your heart fluttering and your brain confused.

This time however, You’d had a particularly bad week and were looking forward to some “quality time” together. He’d picked you up after work directly in front of the Hunter’s Association, your employer. Of course, they didn’t need to know that you were running around with their number one wanted criminal.

If any other man tried to take you back to a hotel room, let alone one he had clearly lived in, you would have laughed and told him to get lost. But this was different. It was clear that he used this penthouse often, but not often enough for it to feel lived in. He’d clearly custom-decorated it, which, you supposed, was a perk of owning the hotel. It didn’t feel like a seedy hotel room - you would’ve left if it had. It felt expensive, like a luxury, to be let into this part of his world.

Your bare feet made soft slapping sounds against the marble of the kitchen floor and the stone sent a chill through your body. You always felt cold without him around. Strange - for someone you were just casually hooking up with. You made your way to the fridge and checked inside. Empty, except for three bottles of white wine and two bottles of sparkling wine. None of this was the food you so desperately needed, but it would do until you decided what to order.

You popped open the bottle of sparkling wine and poured yourself a decent glass, downing the whole thing and pouring another. Just to take the edge off, of course.

You walked back to the living room, full glass and bottle in hand, and plopped down onto the deep red velvet sofa. Picking up the room service menu, you pondered over the many choices. You hastily called down to the front desk and placed your order, hoping it would arrive soon.

Taking another sip of wine, you pulled out your phone and scrolled through your message conversation.

12:54 Me: Any idea when you’ll be back?

Read 12:55

13:31 Me: Should I eat the leftovers for lunch or are you bringing something back?

Read 13:32

15:43 Me: I feel like I should let you know that I ate your half of the leftovers. I was hungry and you aren’t responding.

Read 16:32

18:49 Me: Are you going to be back for dinner?

Read 19:02

20:56 Me: Are you okay?

Read 20:56

20:58 Me:*You unsent a message*

You scoffed at your phone, worry turning to frustration. He clearly had time to check his messages. Why couldn’t he just respond? He was so frustrating!

After aimlessly scrolling through mind-numbing videos for a few minutes, the bell to the penthouse rang. You hopped up and checked through the peephole, rightly assuming your dinner had arrived. You brought it into the living room and began to dig into the delicious meal. It killed a good 45 minutes, you realised as you checked your phone once you were done. Finishing up with a little tidying wasted another 10 minutes, and then you were back to waiting.

Now, it was closer to 11:00pm, and you felt your eyelids growing heavy, but with no sign of him, you didn't want to fall asleep just yet. You put on a random movie on the giant TV and decided to settle in on the sofa for the night.

It feels like only moments later when you woke to the sound of classical music blaring from the record player in the corner of the room. The movie had been switched off. You became aware of a weight on your hip. Calmly, you look up to discover the source. A hand was stroking your hip and playing with the end of your nightdress, which had ridden up while you slept. The hand belonged to none other than Sylus himself. Somehow, he’d managed to situate himself on the sofa you were sleeping on, your head resting on his lap as his hands absentmindedly fussed with your body and hair.

‘You’re awake,’ He said in his deep drawl, the words smoothing over you like honey.

‘I didn’t even realise I’d fallen asleep,’ You replied blinking up into his deep carmine eyes as they roamed your body.

‘Out like a light, sweetie,’ he said with a smirk. ‘You didn’t even flinch when I came through the door.’ His lips held that signature smirk as he continued, ‘What happened to those fine-tuned hunter instincts, hmm? Have they been dulled by the wine you so graciously helped yourself to?’

He sounded calm and collected as usual, but you could tell something was off. You shifted on his lap to look at him more seriously.

‘What happened, Sylus?’ You asked, letting his comment about the wine slide. He’d give you the earth if he could; you knew he wasn’t really bothered by a bottle of wine.

‘Nothing to worry about. As you can see, I’m perfectly fine,’ he replied, feigning nonchalance. But there was a note of something in his voice that betrayed his nearly perfect mask. Your eyes scanned his face, searching for any clue.

‘See something you like, sweetie?’ He teased, tilting his head and gazing into your eyes. He was so close, and for a moment, you were distracted by how handsome he looked. Your eyes drifted to his lips, which crooked up into another half-smirk when he noticed.

You snapped out of it. ‘I’m being serious, Sylus. I missed you all day. You read my messages, so I knew you were alive, but it’s so hard waiting here when all I want is to be with you.’ You softened your voice, trying to coax him into opening up.

‘Sweetie,’ he started ‘you knew what this arrangement would look like when we started. I don’t want to tell you anything that you don’t need to know. You wouldn’t like-’

‘You don’t know what I’ll think!’ you interrupted, sitting up and turning toward him. You cupped his jaw and guided his face toward you. That’s when you spotted it, a red drop of dried blood on his temple. You raised your hand and gently ran your thumb over the spot. ‘Sylus, I’m a big girl. I kill wanderers for a living you know?’ He sighed leaning into your touch, clearly soothed by the movement. ‘I’m in this, whatever it is, with you. I wouldn’t have betrayed The Hunters Association and constantly sneaked behind their back for just anyone. Please tell me what happened.’

He sat in silence, eyes closed, rolling your words around in his mind. Initially, he’d kept this side of his business a secret because he wasn’t sure he could trust you. But over the months, he’d kept it hidden for another reason entirely. He didn’t want you to see the violent, unkind part of him that emerged when dealing with business.

But now, thinking back to how you met, to all the challenges he’d watched you face without backing down, he wrestled with himself. Would it really be so bad to let you in?

He opened his eyes, his hand wrapping around yours. ‘Are you sure you want to know?’ You nodded gently, holding his gaze to show him how serious you were. ‘Today’s deal didn’t quite go as planned. Turns out this buyer held a grudge against me after our last meeting - he sold me some subpar protocores and I, naturally, refused to pay for them. He had men hidden in the surrounding buildings and ambushed me. No class, kitten,’ He said, his voice sharp. It sent a shiver down your spine, but you were determined to stay composed.

‘Luke got out unscathed but Kerian was hurt pretty badly. He was being patched up until late into the night.’ Your face must have betrayed your shock because Sylus leaned in and pressed a delicate kiss on your cheek. ‘I had to execute every person in that room for trying to double-cross me sweetie.’ he whispered into our ear, his tone deep and almost seductive.

You gasped, but before you could speak, he asked, ‘Should I continue?’ You nodded again. ‘My gun burned through its holster once I ran out of bullets. It wasn’t my only weapon, of course.’ His tone turned dark. ‘You remember how deadly my Evol is, right sweetie? You found out the day we met.’

Your body reacted instinctively to the memory, a flash of heat curling in your belly.

You could only nod again, this time biting your lip at the memory of your first meeting. ‘I take an odd delight in using it to eviscerate my enemies, turning them to dust beneath my feet, where they belong. Filth like that needs to be taken care of - don't you agree sweetie” His voice had turned almost syrupy in quality and his eyes flashed with the red of his Aether core. You were shocked- not at the information, but at your own reaction to it.

He continued. ‘Of course, I had to leave the boss for last, sweetie. He had a lesson to learn, after all. First, he sold me sub-quality products and then he tried to cross me. Tut, tut, tut. That simply won't do.’ You leaned in slightly closer, resting your knees on his thighs as you curled up. ‘Well, I’ve never heard a grown man beg so quickly, and you won’t believe it, kitten. He tried to make a deal with me.’

‘What kind of deal? For his life?’ you questioned.

‘Hmmm sort of,’ he replied. ‘This man - no, this filth - tried to offer me his own flesh and blood in return for me sparing his life. His own child. His daughter is just 16 years old. He told me I could have her.’ He scoffed as if the thought were laughable. ‘He should've known that would never work. In fact, it left me more disgusted by him. She’s a child. She should never have been brought up in a business discussion. I tortured him a little more for that. First his eyes…’ At this, he brought his hand to your face and swept his thumb over one of your eyes. ‘He didn’t deserve to look at me. Next, his tongue…’ His hand moved down and ran over your lips ‘his disgusting begging earned him that one, kitten. Of course, I couldn’t just rough him up, that wouldn't do. I had to make him suffer, unable to scream for help, gurgling and choking on his own blood.’

Somehow, you weren’t utterly horrified like you'd imagine you would be, hearing about the killing of so many people and the blatant torture of another. You felt your thighs clench at his raw power and seductive tone. God, what was wrong with you?

Sylus, ever the observant man, saw your eyes dilate and your thighs clench beneath your tiny nightdress. ‘Well, sweetie, it seems I had nothing to worry about,’ He brought his hand down to your hip and moved in close to whisper in your ear. ‘You’re clearly more than woman enough to handle anything I throw at you.’

You were found out. ‘Did you want me to be scared?’ you asked him, your voice soft in his ear, as his lips dropped to your neck - not making contact, but close enough for his eyes to watch your pulse racing beneath your soft skin.

‘Never, sweetheart. I’m not interested in your fear’ His voice dripped with lust as he cupped your shoulder and laid you back against the soft sofa beneath you, crowding around you with his arms resting on either side of your face. ‘Why would I want that when your desperation is so much more… enticing?’

He brought his hand up to your face, gripping it tight enough for you to feel his control, but not enough to hurt you. ‘Tell me, kitten,’ He purred, his eyes locking onto yours ‘Why is it that hearing these vicious acts has got you all hot and bothered, hmmm?’

“It’s just…” you couldn’t quite seem to find the right words.

“Just? Just what?” He replied, almost mocking with his tone.

“Just, you. I don’t know why but hearing about you being so ruthless and in charge, it kind of turnsmeon.” You rushed through the end of your sentence, mumbling to the point of incoherence.

“Oh come on kitten,” he started. “You can be a big girl and tell me properly.”

“I said it, turns me on!” Your face had heated up quite substantially but still you went on. “I don’t know why, but it does. I think it’s the control maybe?”

“Oh really,” his voice dropped to a whisper as he leaned closer to your ear “and do you want to be under my control too?”

You shut your eyes, trying to escape his intensity, but he clearly wasn’t going to let that slide. ‘Uh-uh sweetheart. Look at me when I'm talking to you.’ You heard light buzzing in the air by your head before you felt it - his Evol snaked around your throat, giving a light squeeze in warning. Your eyes snapped open at the sensation. ‘Don’t hide from me. I want to see how much you can handle. Now tell me what I want to hear - don't make me force it out of you.’ His right eye flashed in warning and you felt a slight pull to open up to him in more ways than one.

This was a completely new dynamic in your relationship. He had never used his Evol on you - other than when you first met - and it sent a thrill running through you. The idea of him compelling you to voice your desires so clearly, without hesitation, made you realise just how much you liked this side of him. He noticed your eyes dilating further- they looked like beautiful black pools, and it drove him wild to know that he had this effect on you. ‘Oh. It seems like that’s exactly what you want to happen. Is that right, sweetheart?’

You nodded desperately, but he held your face still and kissed your lips lightly. ‘No, baby, you have to use your words. You have to want this, or it’s a huge invasion of privacy. I won't do that’

His insistence on your consent, made your heart flutter. Little things like this reinforced your feelings for him, and you couldn't help the little smile that revealed your affection. ‘Sylus, i-I want you to force me to tell you this.’ You emphasised your point by bringing one hand up to his shoulder, squeezing the muscle beneath, while the other rested on his chest, feeling the abnormally fast pace of his heart beating beneath his skin.

He closed his eyes and then opened them, his Evol no longer prickling at you but pushing you fully. He looked you straight in the eyes with such intensity that you couldn’t have looked away even if you’d wanted to. Then, the voices started - a cacophony of your own voice inside your head, letting loose every desire you had. The sound grew so loud that the sentences slipped out of your mouth against your will. ‘Submit to him. Claim him as yours. You belong to him. Give him everything. Submit.’

Your breathing grew heavier as you spilled all of your secrets, anxiety building. You wanted to look away from his handsome face, but thank god you couldn’t.

You saw his eyes dilate at your confessions. The more you were forced to say, the more hunger you saw on his face. His breathing deepened, and you felt him growing hard against your leg. His mouth parted on a shaky exhale, the warmth of it hitting your face. You could nearly taste the whiskey he’d clearly consumed before arriving. When he spoke, his voice was deep and husky, laced with lust. ‘Oh, it seems you’ve had a lot on your mind recently. Why didn’t you say something before?’

He let you out of the grip of his Evol and you couldn’t even begin to form an answer to his question. You reached your hands up into his hair and pulled him into a deep kiss.

The moment your lips connected with his, everything around you seemed to dissolve, leaving just the two of you. Sylus responded immediately, deepening the kiss with a hunger that mirrored the storm of emotions brewing inside him. His hands roamed the sides of your body, trailing heat wherever they went, making your skin tingle under his touch. He tugged at your lower lip with his teeth before pulling back, his breath ragged as he stared down at you, eyes dark with desire.

“You’re playing a dangerous game, sweetheart,” he murmured, his voice a low, rumbling growl. “You’ve got no idea what you’ve just unlocked.”

His grip tightened on your hips, and you could feel the restraint in his movements, like he was holding back a torrent of emotion and power. You felt a strange thrill at his words, at the way he teetered on the edge of control.

“Maybe I like danger more than you know,” you replied, your voice breathless yet teasing, daring him to show you just how deep this game could go. You ran your hands down his chest, feeling the hard planes of muscle beneath your fingertips. He inhaled sharply at your touch, his carmine eyes blazing with intensity.

His hands slid beneath your nightdress, grazing your thighs as he pulled you closer into his lap. Suddenly, his grip tightened and he lifted you up into the air as he stood from the couch. You let out a surprised gasp, instinctively wrapping your legs around his waist, as they had done hundreds of times before.

He carried you into the bedroom and unexpectedly sat himself down at the headboard, leaving you straddling his thighs and pressed against his hard cock. Your hands went back to his shoulders. He bucked his hips up into you and you both groaned at the contact, the heat between you two becoming almost unbearable. He leaned in close, his breath hot against your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.

“Tell me,” he whispered, his voice dark and smooth. “Do you really think you can handle me at my most dangerous, sweetie?”

You swallowed hard, your heart racing as you met his eyes. There was no going back from this. Not from the way he was looking at you, not from the emotions you were feeling—raw, untamed, and terrifyingly real.

“Yes,” you breathed out, barely audible but filled with certainty. To prove it, you grinded against him and let out a soft keen at the feeling of him, hard and right where you needed him.

Sylus’s smirk grew wider, and he pressed a hungry kiss against your neck, letting his lips linger, as the mark he left tingled. “Then brace yourself,” he said, “because I don’t plan on stopping until you know exactly who you belong to.”

He moved with purpose, flipping you both over to once again tower over you. Letting you know that he was firmly in control. This, you were used to, this you craved.

His hands moved deliberately - never once hesitating - slipping beneath the thin fabric of your nightdress. He groaned softly as his fingers found your bare skin, the touch electrifying. You arched into him, craving more, your breath hitching as he ran his hands along your sides, his lips following the path of his fingers, leaving a trail of fire in their wake.

“Is this what you want?” he murmured against your skin, his voice rough, primal. “Is this why you’ve been so restless without me?”

You could only nod, words failing you as desire overtook everything else. Sylus chuckled darkly at your silence, his hand tightening possessively around your waist as he shifted, pushing you back into the soft cushions of the bed. His body hovered over yours, his silver hair falling like a curtain around his face as he gazed down at you with a mixture of hunger and affection.

“You drive me crazy, you know that?” he said, his voice softer now, though still edged with that dangerous undercurrent. “Every time I leave, all I think about is getting back to you.”

His confession hit you like a punch to the chest. This wasn’t just about the sex. There was something deeper, something neither of you had dared to voice before. But in this moment, with everything laid bare, there was no hiding from it anymore.

“Sylus,’ You groaned ‘I think about you too, you have to know that,” you whispered, your hands gripping his shirt as if holding onto him was the only thing keeping you grounded. “I can’t stop thinking about you, Sylus.” You paused your hands’ movements and looked at him.

He froze, his eyes searching yours, and in that heartbeat of silence, you could feel the shift in the air between you. Something unspoken passed between you, something more than just physical desire.

Sylus lowered his head until his lips were barely brushing yours. “Then don’t,” he murmured. “Don’t stop. Don’t hold back.”

And with that, he kissed you again, this time with a slow, deliberate intensity that made your whole body tremble. Your hands took the opportunity to pull apart his shirt, buttons flying everywhere and baring his beautiful skin for you. His hands roamed over you with a possessive need, claiming you in ways that left no doubt in your mind that this was more than just a game to him. It was more than just physical.

It was everything.

‘I’m going to absolutely ruin you,’ He said with an edge of desperation in his voice. He pulled off your nightdress, not at all shocked to find you bare beneath it but delighted nonetheless. Less barriers to make his way through. He let out a groan so deep at the sight of you bare and dripping for him. He couldn’t help himself, he needed you. ‘You want me to taste you? To bury my face between your thighs and make you come?’ You nodded furiously, drunk on his raw power. “Then that’s exactly what I’m going to do.’

With that, he dove in tongue first. Lapping at you with unparalleled delight. ‘Fuck,’ he groaned. ‘You alway taste so divine?’ he dove back in. “You’re so perfect and all mine.’

You couldn’t contain your sounds of pleasure, nor did you want to. You knew he loved to hear you cry out and moan for him. The menace loved to hear how he was ruining you. A wicked grin spread across his face as he wrapped his arms around your thighs and pulled you close into his waiting mouth. ‘You’re so wet for me, kitten,’ He murmured, his voice thick and filled with heat. ‘I can't wait to lap up every last drop.’

Without warning, his tongue swept across your slick pussy, eliciting a gasp of pleasure from your lips. He continued to completely overwhelm you with his enthusiastic assault of his tongue on your pussy. Teasing and tantalising every sensitive spot. He brought his hand up to join in, gently circling around your entrance and pushing in to feel that spongy spot that would, no doubt, have you seeing stars.

‘Mmmmm, you taste amazing,’ he growled, his voice low and husky. ‘Like honey and wine.’ He took his time, exploring every inch of you, his fingers continuing their exploration of your g-spot .

He could feel your pleasure building, your moans growing louder and more insistent, your walls squeezing around his fingers. ‘I love watching you like this, seeing you unravel. Fuck!’ is words were spoken against your pussy, almost muffled by how close he was. His tongue circled your clit, teasing it with gentle, sucking motions.

He was driving you closer and closer to the edge, tensing up. The coil inside you wound so tight that you could snap at any moment, but something held you back. “Please Sylus, please let me come, I want it, please.’ You needed permission. Your cries were desperate and pleading and it turned him on even more.

“Cum for me, sweetie,” he urged you, needing to feel you fall over the edge, desperate for your release. “Let me feel you cum on my tongue baby, you’re squeezing my fingers so hard.”

He dove back in his mouth and lips working overtime on your clit and his fingers hitting that spot with expert precision. He felt the moment you came for him and he groaned loudly into your pussy. He could taste the waves of pleasure on his tongue and feel the way you clamped down hard on his fingers, getting impossibly tighter. He gently ran his tongue over your clit, drawing out pleasure from your quivering body.

“Fuck, Sylus,” you groaned. Your body was still reeling from the aftershocks of your orgasm when you felt him shift against your foot, his cock - still confined in his trousers and boxers - was as hard as a rock and desperate for attention. “Come here,” you demanded as you pulled him up by his soft strands of silver hair. The slight pain from your tugging and your tone elicited another groan from Sylus.

Your lips smashed together, both of you moaning into the kiss. He kissed you impossibly harder. Ravaging your mouth as your hands worked his belt, then zipper open and pushed them down his thighs, boxers and all. He shivered a little as you wasted no time in gripping his cock firmly in your hands.

“Please, let me taste it, Sylus?” You asked with a look of feigned innocence on your face. How could he say no to that?

As you got onto your knees in front of him, you licked up the length of his cock. It was completely hard for you and he groaned at the sensation. Of course his dick was just as pretty as the rest of him. E looked down at you as you took the tip of his cock into your mouth and sucked him sweetly, blinking up at him. His moans of enjoyment encouraged you. You used both hands around his shaft and let your mouth focus on his sensitive tip, just the way he liked it. You knew all of his favourite places to be touched and just the right way to do it.

He was utterly enraptured with the sight of you, mouth stuffed full of him. He gathered your hair in a makeshift ponytail before pulling you off him. “You’ll be the death of me, sweetie,” he replied. Your hands continued their work on his cock, spreading out the silky precum that had gathered at his top and using it to lubricate your motions. He felt so good, your hands working wonders. “I fear I’ve taught you-“ his groan interrupted him mid sentence as you licked his slit again. “Taught you too well. Fuck. I won’t last in your mouth, sweetie. I need you now!” It was a command, not a request.

He pushed you back into your back and reached across to the night stand to retrieve a condom.

“Wait!” You grabbed his arm to stop him. He looked at you shocked, concerned that something was wrong. “What if we, ummm, didn’t use a condom tonight?” You asked, a hint of shyness creeping in. Truthfully you’d been thinking about it for a while now. He was the only man you were sleeping with and you were on the pill. There’s no one else you trusted to experience that with before. You wanted to feel him, raw, with no barrier between you.

He groaned and nipped at your neck, leaving a trail of kisses down your collarbone. “Fuck. You really want that? Are you sure?”

You nodded in response then remembering his earlier demand, voiced your agreement. “Yes Sylus, please I want it.”

“Good.” He growled as he took your nipple into his mouth and sucked on it, laving his tongue over the soft pebble and making you groan and grab at his hair again.

“I want you,” He said, his cock grinding against you completely bare for the first time, sending a shiver down your spine. “All of you.”

He captured your mouth in another searing kiss, his tongue tangling with yours as his hand slid between your thighs. His fingers teased your sensitive skin, collecting your sticky arousal and using it to stroke his cock - covering himself in your very essence. “I’ll give you anything you want, kitten.”

You took over from him, stroking his cock and guiding it to your pussy. His eyes lit up further, his cock throbbing with anticipation as you ran the tip of him across your soaked pussy. “I just want you” you replied earnestly.

“Oh, fuck,” he growled his voice so low and husky, it reeked for pure sex. “You have no idea how much I want to give you everything. To spoil you, claim you, to own you.”

He pushed into you, his cock sliding deep into your warm, wet pussy. He bottomed out and you both groaned at the sensation. He stilled himself inside you, his body tensed with pleasure as he felt himself buried to the hilt. “You feel so good,” he breathed, his voice full of adoration. “So perfect for me. This pussy is perfect, fuck, like it was made for me.”

He began to move his hips, rocking back and forth with a deliberate, slow pace. He could feel his control slipping, his desire to completely control you, to own you, growing with every passing moment. His raw cock although slow, was hitting perfectly inside you. It felt amazing. You raked your nails down his back and bucked your hips up to meet his thrusts. If you’d have known how good it would feel, you never would have waited this long to go without a condom. You could feel every inch of him, each ridge and vein, smoothing along your walls and drawing out your soft keens and mewls.

“You’re mine, sweetie,” he growled, his voice low and raw with need. “I’m going to make you mine forever.” He leaned in as his thrusts began to get faster and harder. “And I’m going to take everything. Every inch of you is mine. Every waking moment is mine. Every last breath in your body belongs to me now. I’m going to make sure you never forget it.

“Yes, please, Sylus,” you gasped as his thrusts turned merciless, his cock hitting you just right and the slapping noises echoing in the giant room. “Yes I’m yours, completely yours!”

He groaned at your words and smashed your lips together in another bruising kiss your tongue not even trying to fight for dominance as if it knew it was his. You could see the effect of your words on him, so you pushed on despite your breathlessness.

Each word came out in pants. “I’m yours! Yours to fuck, yours to spoil, yours to love. I’m all yours Sylus,” he grinned widely, possessively at your words. “And you’re all mine.” You reached up and pulled him into a desperate kiss, breaking off and leaving a trail of your combined saliva hanging from your lips. Moving them to his throat and attaching them to his sensitive spot, before sucking a hard mark on his neck.

He groaned loudly at the feeling. You trailed your lips lower leaving mark after mark in your wake. His hips stuttered and he had to still them to catch his breath.

“No one else gets to see you this way,” You leaned up and whispered into his ear “You’re all fucking mine.”

Sylus’s eyes darkened with unbridled desire as you declared your own possessiveness. He let out a guttural groan, his hips resuming their relentless slamming into you. He brought his hand down to your stomach and pressed down slightly, feeling his cock move within you from the outside - it drove him absolutely wild.

“Oh sweetie, you’re right,” he rasped, his voice dripping with lust from your words. “I’m all yours. Every. Single. Fucking. Inch.” He punctuated his words with four particularly hard thrusts that had your eyes rolling back in your skull and your moans coming out in quiet shrieks.

He captured your lips in a bruising kiss, his tongue pressing into your mouth as his fingers gripped your hips tight enough to leave bruises the next day.

He broke the kiss, only to trail hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck, sucking and nipping at your soft skin. “I’m going to mark you up, kitten,” he murmured, his teeth grazing your flesh. “Everyone is going to know you’re mine.”

He pulled back, his eyes drinking in the sight of you beeneath him, his cock buried deep inside your warmth, bare and fucking stunning. The feeling was indescribable. A wicked grin spread across his handsome face as he grinded his hips against yours with him all the way deep.

Your eyes flashed open at the new feeling and looked down to see where you were both so intimately connected. As he pulled out, you could see the way you gripped onto him tighter and tighter and you could feel your pleasure building inside.

He could feel it in the way you squeezed him in a vice-like grip, it had his mind reeling and him desperately close to the edge. He tried to hold on, and was doing a great job of it until you reached down to rub your clit and moaned out.

“Please cum inside me, Sylus,” you were almost begging him. You were so close to your orgasm and you knew it would leave you exhausted. “Please, cum for me, I’m so close. Please cum with me.”

Sylus’s face contorted into a mix of pleasure and restraint, he wanted to feel you cum around him first before he let himself release. He could see the desperation in your eyes, your desire to be filled by him.

He drove into you with a fierce intensity, his hips pumping in a rapid, rhythmic motion as he got closer and closer. He brushed your hand away and used his fingers to press down, as his thumb battered your clit. “Come for me, sweetie, I’m right there too,” He rasped out, his voice hoarse “I’ll fill you up pretty girl, I promise, I’ll make you mine in every way.”

“I’m gonna cum, fuck, Sylus!” You moaned out his name as you felt yourself hit your orgasm.

He felt his body tense, his cock throbbing with release as he exploded inside you, his cum pumping out in hot, pulsing jets. He felt it spilling into your depths, the sensation so different without a barrier. Being connected to you, being inside you like that, it was the most intense feeling he’d ever experienced.

You were both left feeling absolutely breathless, sticky and tired. You closed your eyes and tried to catch your breath, when you felt soft kisses being pressed against your lips. “You’re so incredible, my perfect girl.”

His words set your heart on fire, almost matching the usual fast pace of his. He began to pull out but you stopped him with a grip on his hip. “Not yet,” you reached back up and kissed him gently. “I don’t want to be separated from you.”

His eyes warmed at your words, softening to the point where he looked completely enamoured with you. “I’m not going anywhere sweetie, I just need to clean you up.”

“Can’t you do that and still stay inside me?” You replied with a pout on your face that made him chuckle.

“I promise, I’ll be at your disposal for the rest of the weekend, if you let me get you cleaned up. How’s that sound sweetie?” He set the deal up and now the ball was in your court.

“That does sound good, but may I add one more clause to the agreement?” You said with a slight grin.

“Hmmm, sure. Anything for you, sweetie.” He shot back at you.

“Promise me, you’ll always come back to me. You don’t have to be here all the time but just promise me that I’ll be the one you come back to. And let me in, yeah?” You looked at him with warmth and a deeper emotion that you were too scared to name.

“Okay, then I want to add another clause, if I may?” He nuzzled into your cheek and kissed the side of your mouth before making eye contact again. “Quit your job, move in with me and let me have you as mine officially. I’m not going anywhere, and I want this to be something we can give our all to. I want to take you with me, to show you off as mine. Sneaking around was fun at the beginning, but now, I just want to hold your hand in the street, kiss you when I feel like it, or throw you over my shoulder and escort you out of the premises when I want you like this.”

He kissed you again, his teeth tugging at your lip and his tongue demanding entrance again. You were tempted, oh so tempted. What did you truly have back in Linkon that wouldn’t be there if you followed your heart? Zayne was your childhood friend, he’d understand. Your colleagues were just that, colleagues. Tara was always asking you about “Mr Skye” and when you would be making things official so she’d be delighted. And Rafayel? He had his own, Miss Hunter to keep him company. He seemed so happy and he would always be your best friend no matter what.

“Can I have some time to think about it?” You asked him.

He looked a little sad about it but he nodded his head and started to pull his softening cock out of you. His cum started to drip out of you and he looked down at the sight transfixed, his cock getting hard again at the sight. But he knew that he needed to give you a little space to process what he’d asked of you so he started to go to the bathroom intent on grabbing you a warm, wet washcloth to clean you up.

But your hand stopped him from retreating even one step. You looked up at him with your eyes full of adoration and he looked back feeling the weight of his own. “Okay, I’ve thought about it, let’s do it.” You giggled.

Sylus was silent for a moment, and you felt the weight of your words hand in the air before he finally spoke.

“God, I love you,” he said, his voice low and filled with something you hadn’t heard before—something vulnerable. He kissed you again as this time, the kiss felt different. You could feel all the emotion he put into it, truly conveying his raw emotion in the best way he could.

You pulled away and whispered “I love you too, Sylus,” before grabbing him by the back of the back and pulling him back down on top of you.

And in that moment, you knew things had changed between you both. No more hiding, no more pretending that what you had was casual. Because in reality, it was anything but.

And neither of you were willing to let it go.

[awooghan]

[11:41 pm] ✧.* l.mh

➳ PAIRING: lee know x gn!reader

➳ GENRE: fluff, slice of life, silent/mutual pining, friends to (implied) lovers

➳ WARNINGS: none, just tooth-rotting fluff and simp!lino :]

➳ WORD COUNT: 1k exactly which is a bit long for a timestamp but are we surprised

➳ SUMMARY: you and minho are out with your friends one night. minho notices you won't leave his side.

➳ NOTES: wow i actually completed a fic and it wasn't for christmas LOL hope you enjoy <3 also i know the banner is lee know in a puffy coat but this is supposed to be a summer night timestamp and this was the closest photo i could find 😭 (and as always ty @ujimoo for helping me make a banner)

➳ SONG REC: headliner (seventeen)

network tags: @kflixnet @straykidsland-main @kwritersworld @k-labels

“Ah, Y/N…” Minho says, lightly nudging you. “When are you gonna get off me?”

His voice, flat but gentle, cuts through the air around you, making the crickets chirping nearby sound like a mere pin drop. He doesn’t mean to sound rude, though his tone alone would have raised the eyebrows of strangers passing by. Luckily, there aren’t many people around to spare him weird glances this late at night.

It’s a genuine question, though. Instead of stomping around on the playground down the slope with your friends, you have effectively trapped Minho next to you atop a nearby hill. Your legs are outstretched before you, your shoes innocently tapping against his as you rock your feet side to side. Your arm sits comfortably next to his, and your head rests on his shoulder. He’s all but stuck now, like sap on a maple tree in January, and if you don’t move soon, he’ll be doomed to spend the rest of the night here in the grass.

He feels you shrug next to him.

“Hmm?” Minho hums. His eyes widen just slightly as you scoot closer. Your hand brushes against his, and your fingers lazily drum a pattern into the warm earth below you. He tries to ignore this and pokes you repeatedly in the arm.

“Come onnnn…” he says. “When are you gonna get up?”

Your quiet “I dunno” in response fills his ears.

“What do you meeeaaann, ‘I dunno’?” He makes a show of rolling his eyes, then clicks his tongue. “Why don’t you wanna get up, hmm?”

A scream echoes through the park and makes Minho look up for a moment. Changbin’s short figure flies through the air, his arms flailing. The swing behind him rocks erratically as he falls onto the mulch with a thud. Wooyoung points and cackles loudly from the swing next to him, but quickly lets out a shriek of his own and grips onto the metal chains. Further right, Jungwoo and Chaeryeong’s silhouettes chase each other around on the main playground equipment. Lampposts at the edge of the playground cast a dim yellow glow across the space, like the ones in retro film recordings. Minho can imagine the little “PLAY” icon floating at the top left of the scene, blinking periodically several feet above the dark blue awning.

He feels a light tap against his shoe again.

“Owww!” Minho feigns a cry. He picks up his feet and swipes them away from you in one swift move, the corners of his lips pulling down in an exaggerated pout. “Y/N, that hurt~ how dare you…” 

Looking back at you, you’re mindlessly clicking your feet against each other, and you’re still all cuddled up on his shoulder. His heart thumps a little louder in his chest when you shove your head closer to him.

“Yah, Y/N…”

“Hmm...” Your soft hum comes out more as a statement than a reply.

You flutter your eyes closed, your lashes gently batting against your skin. He heaves out a sigh, and the warm breeze tickles his cheeks with a light blush. It seems to have more mercy on you, though, as it delicately brushes your stray hairs away from your forehead, framing your face perfectly. Almost too perfectly. The crickets blend into the quiet air as he takes in the sight.

“Hey…” Minho tries one more time. He tilts his head slightly as he gazes at you. “Why don’t you get up? Our friends are waiting.”

The breeze picks up for just a moment, making you scrunch up your nose. Minho gestures down the hill. It’s getting more difficult to look away from you. “See?” he continues. “Playground's right over there. ‘S loads more fun than I am.”

Another shriek rings out from the playground area. Chaeryeong lies in an awkward position at the bottom of the slide. The wind picks up again at the same time, whistling against Minho’s ears right as Chaeryeong yells something at Jungwoo. All he can make out is another scream as Jungwoo tumbles down the slide and knocks Chaeryeong onto the gravel.

But a light tap sings louder to Minho than all of it.

Looking back at you, his eyes trace down, stopping where your fingers meet his arm. As light as a hummingbird’s wing beat, your fingers tap across his forearm and leave a path of spreading warmth in their wake. They seem to float in the air as they skip further down. Your touch, so faint and gentle, nearly lulls him to sleep. He lets his eyes fall shut.

It’s like Minho is at the beach for a moment, and your fingers brushing against his skin are the ocean waves calmly swaying over his feet. Then, he feels a sudden blast as a tidal wave crashes over him, its currents pulling him under and leaving him unable to breathe. His eyes snap open and right toward the spot where your hand has come to a gentle rest over the top of his own.

Minho’s eyes meet your soft ones. Your head is still comfortably nestled on his shoulder, and your cheeks seem to glow in the dark when you smile at him. For a moment, perhaps a moment too long, time comes to a still as he takes you in, watching you slowly melt into his side. You look so at peace, and he dare not disturb you, despite his urge to spring up and run down the hill and scream at Changbin. Thankfully, he’s too engrossed in the feeling of your hand on top of his to even try. He thanks his lucky stars once more that you’re also looking down at your hands, so you can’t notice the blood rushing to the tips of his ears.

Slowly, he spreads his fingers and gently threads them with yours. He glances at you, then looks down at his lap, a shy smile finally forming on his lips.

“Ah…” he says softly. “ Our friends can wait a little.”

[littlemisssatanist]

Hitlist

the jackal x fem reader

~ YAH i still post fic

~ reader is written to be black

~ you have a last name 'selassie'.

~ kinda smutty but more sexual tension than actual sex.

~ if you see any typos,,, no you didn't i wrote this on my phone leave me alone

~ i need this man pregnant tbh

~ CHECK OUT MY ART OF THIS MAN

part one | part two

He crouched low on the edge of a tall building, his eyes fixated on his target below. The wind blew against his face, the city sprawled out beneath him in perfect stillness. His finger hovered over the trigger, steady and patient, waiting for the perfect moment. The target was almost within range.

Then, a sound behind him. Footsteps, soft but unmistakable. His body stiffened, muscles tensing. The hairs on the back of his neck prickled. He didn’t flinch, but every instinct he had screamed at him that he wasn’t alone anymore.

Slowly, he shifted, hand moving to his sidearm, ready to strike. He had to decide: eliminate the threat behind him, or finish the job he was hired for.

He didn’t get a lot of time to make a choice.

“Shh,” You muttered, coming up behind him. You kneeled next to him, dropping a hand to card through his hair. “It’s just me.”

The Jackal’s eyes widened in both surprising and recognition. He let go of his sidearm, slowly, relaxing the slightest fraction.

He whispered, never taking his eyes from the scope, keeping his rifle fixed on the target. “What are you doing here, Selassie?”

“Aw,” you said. “I thought we were closer than that.” You placed a hand on his nap, the gesture both comforting and threatening.

The touch of your hand sent a shiver through him, barely perceptible if you hadn’t been searching for it. He fought the urge to lean into it, but training and caution held him in place. He grunted in response.

“This isn’t a social visit,” he said, voice low and steady. “You’re distracting me.”

“No,” you agreed. “Not a social visit.”

You gazed at him, amused. Your thumb rubbed the skin in slow motions, brushing against his hair. “Think of this as a test.”

He clenched his jaw. “A test for who?”

“You. Me. Us, perhaps,” you said idly. “I’m trying to decide whether or not I should kill you.”

The Jackal bristled at your words but didn’t turn around. He knew you well enough to know that she didn’t often make idle threats. But why would you even consider it? The two of you had worked together before, successfully.

“Why would you need to decide that?” He asked, his voice steady despite the growing tension.

“Someone’s heard about your work in Germany,” you said, continuing to massage his nape. “They’re impressed. Or, rather, threatened. Paid me a pretty sum to get rid of you.”

You knew that the words hit him like a bullet. His muscles tensed, hand clutching the scope tight, knuckles white. Someone was after him— and they had even gone so far as to hire you for the job. It felt like betrayal.

“Did you take the offer?” He asked, struggling to keep his voice level.

“Maybe, maybe not,” you said. Your grip on his nape tightened. “I haven’t decided yet. That’s why it’s a test.”

The sense of betrayal was quickly replaced by anger. He clenched his jaw, eyes darkening with barely suppressed anger. He could feel every touch of your hand like a brand on his skin.

“And how am I supposed to pass this test?”

“Focus,” you warned as he started to turn, forcing his head back around. “Go ahead. Take the shot. But don’t get distracted.”

You leaned in for the last part, whispering it into his ear.

The command, given so calmly, sent a wave of both irritation and desire through him. Your breath against his ear sent a shiver down his spine. For a moment, he was tempted to throw away everything and turn to face you. But the target was still in sight, and the job had to come first.

He inhaled deeply, steadying himself. Focusing on the target, he placed his finger on the trigger, ready to pull.

You pressed your lips against his temple, raising your hand to grasp his hair tightly.

The unexpected sensation sent a jolt through his body. For a split second, his hand twitched on the trigger, and he almost squeezed prematurely. But he caught himself just in time, biting back a low hiss of frustration. His focus wavered slightly, his body fighting the distraction.

“Damn it,” he snarled, trying to steady himself again. “You said ‘focus!’”

“Mhm,” you said, digging your nose into the crook of his neck. “I also said ‘don’t get distracted.’ This is the distraction.”

You kissed the hollow of his neck, dragging your teeth against his skin lightly.

He shivered, every nerve ending responding to you touch. He had to bite back another hiss, a wave of heat flooding through him. It was as if every cell in his body had become hypersensitive to your presence. “This is not fair,” he grumbled. “It’s a trick.”

“Of course it’s a trick,” you murmured against his neck. “That’s the whole point. Test, remember?” She worked a hickey into his skin, licking her work before leaning away to admire it. “Clock is ticking.”

The mark you left behind on his skin burned, and he felt a sharp pang of both desire and annoyance. It was becoming increasingly hard to concentrate with you touching him, but he had a mission, and he was nothing if not disciplined.

“And what if I ignore the test and take the shot anyway?” He retorted, doing his best to ignore the heat that was spreading throughout his entire body.

“That’s the point, J,” you muttered, slipping your hand beneath his shirt. “Go on.”

He had to strangle a gasp when you touched his bare skin. It was becoming harder and harder to resist; the urge to turn and capture you in his arms was almost overwhelming. He gritted his teeth. “I should kill you for this.”

“Probably,” you agreed. “But aren’t you wondering why I haven’t killed you yet? I’ve had so many chances, with you acting so desperately.”

Your words stung a bit, but he couldn’t deny that you were right. He had let his guard down around you more than he cared to admit. He knew he needed to remain focused, but your touch and whispered words were pulling him in.

He let out a low and frustrated groan. “Don’t toy with me, Selassie. You know exactly what you’re doing.”

“Of course I do,” you said, bemused. “That’s the test, J. Don’t get distracted, that’s the only thing that needs to happen here. I want to see if you can retain your skills even when you’re so pathetically horny for me.”

Your words were a punch to the gut. Heat coiled within him, and he couldn’t stop the shiver that ran down his spine. Damn you, you knew exactly what buttons to press.

He was fighting a losing battle, his body betraying him despite his best efforts. And you knew.

“You’re cruel,” he managed to whisper through gritted teeth.

“Just take the damn shot!” You snapped, grabbing his hair and pulling at it meanly. “Hurry up. And don’t fuck this up.”

He let out a hiss of pain, but used the brief shock to rein in his focus. The sharp tugging served as a brutal reminder of the task at hand. His body was a mess of contradictions, warring between desire and discipline.

His hand steadied on his rifle, and he refocused his gaze through his scope. Every muscle was taut, a coiled spring ready to snap.

“I won’t mess this up,” he said through clenched teeth. “Just… don’t touch me.”

“Fine,” you let go of him, rolling your eyes. You took a gun out of your pocket and pressed it up against his head. “This better motivation?”

The cold. Barrel of the gun pressed against his skin was a stark contrast to the warmth of your touch. A jolt of adrenaline coursed through him, sharpening his senses and bringing him fully back into focus. his mission was the top priority, and he would not let you distract him further.

He took a steady breath, his voice steady despite the threat looming over him. “Much better.”

You clicked your tongue, taking off the safety. “Go on, then. Take the shot. And you had better hope it’s perfect, else the next one is going straight through your brain.”

“You’re quite the menace,” he murmured tightly.

He took aim, his hand steady and sure. The target was still blissfully ignorant, completely unaware of the drama unfolding above him.

With a single, swift movement, the Jackal pulled the trigger. The shot echoed in the crisp night air.

He couldn’t help but hold his breath for a brief moment, the stillness of the night settling after the shot. It had been a perfect shot, and he could feel the tension in your body behind him.

His heard was racing, adrenaline mixing with a sense of triumph. He didn’t look away from the target’s fallen body. “Test passed,” he said, voice laced with a hint of satisfaction.

“Yes,” you said, voice oddly thick with… something. “Very nice shot,” you muttered, stepping away.

The sudden lack of your presence sent a pang of disappointment through him, but he tried to ignore it. You sounded… strange, almost breathless.

He finally turned around, lowering the rifle, and studied your expression carefully. There was something in your eyes, a hint he couldn’t quite place.

You sound almost impressed.” He said in a teasing tone.

You shrugged, not afraid to admit it. “I’m easily impressed when you’re around.” You glanced behind you. “We should go before the police show up. Someone will have heard that shot.”

He couldn’t help the slight smirk that tugged at the order of his lips at your compliment. He was still buzzing from the adrenaline of the kill, as well as your presence.

“Lead the way. And no more tests.”

part one | part two

[that-sokovian-bastard]

Your Choice - Jason Todd x (f)Reader

Words: 4116 Pairing: Jason Todd x (f)Reader Warnings: SMUT. Minors DNI! 18+ only!!!! Mean dom Jason, swearing, rope bondage, edging, orgasm denial, multiple orgasms/forced orgasms, vibrator, teasing, blindfold, nipple play (just a little), fingering (f receiving), oral (f receiving). Jason is a kinky mf. Summary: After plans for the night change, Jason has an idea to keep you awake. It ends much more evil than you first expected. Author's Note: Truly love that this is my first ever time writing smut and it’s kinky as fuck. I have all the shame in the world and none at the same time. Also they have a safe word it’s just not explicitly discussed in the fic. Anyway, if you know me irl, it’s illegal to read this fic, actually. Don’t look at me. Hope you enjoy.

Jason / Full Masterlist

—

Every few minutes, you wondered how you managed to end up in this situation. And just as that thought came into your mind, it was ripped away by being pulled onto the edge. Then, you'd finally calm down enough to get back to contemplating how you even agreed to this...and you were right back on the edge again.

You knew Jason had to go out for patrol. If he missed it again, one of his family members was going to show up at the apartment in worry. And you definitely didn't need anyone to show up while being with Jason. You two had plans for tonight, but he ended up getting called on patrol. You tried to convince him to tell the team no, but he said he couldn’t and that you guys would just have your fun when he returned. But you were worried you wouldn’t be able to stay up the entire time before he got back, and you wouldn’t want to wake up when he returned. So, as he got ready to leave, he told you he had an idea of how you could keep yourself awake while he was gone without any worry.

Whatever his idea was, you expected it to be fun and a little evil. He reminded you that at any point as he was setting up, you could tell him to stop, and he would drop everything, but he would be leaving for patrol eventually, and you’d be in the bedroom alone for a while. He was very clear. 

Jason told you to undress as he pulled out some rope, instructing you to lay on the bed before he got to work. Working fast to not be late to patrol, he tied your wrists to either side of the headboard and your ankles to the bottom corners of the bed. You laughed a little when he finished and looked down at you. “Uh, Jason?” You said, tugging at the ropes to test their strength. “I’m pretty sure me being stuck like this is only going to encourage me to fall asleep,” You reminded him, cocky about your position.

He smirked in response, and you knew you were in for it. “Who said I was done?” He turned and walked to the dresser against the wall where he grabbed the rope from earlier. Before you knew it, he turned back around, and you couldn’t see what he grabbed. However, you didn’t have to let your mind guess for long as he quickly put the small vibrator right below your clit. He secured it with thinner rope wrapped around your leg to make sure that none of your struggles could dislodge it, then stood back to admire you before he turned it on. 

“Pretty sure this will also make me pass out,” You tried again to be cocky.

“Why do you act like I don’t know what I’m doing?” He scoffed and turned on the vibrator to its lowest setting, causing you to gasp ever so slightly in response. “I know for a fact this won’t do anything except keep you alert and awake. But if you really think you won’t be able to focus on only it…,” Jason trailed off and grabbed one more thing from the dresser. When he came back to the side of the bed, he slipped the black blindfold over your eyes and, even though you couldn’t see it, cracked the most satisfied grin as he watched you.

He could tell you were already starting to hold back from letting your body react to the subtle vibrations. Jason didn’t say anything as he finished putting on his gear, slowly, enjoying the background noise full of your suppressed whimpers. He slipped on his jacket, pulled on his gloves, and placed the domino mask on his face. Jason set his helmet on the top of the dresser near the window he usually left out of but stood next to you once more before he left.

“I’m about to leave. This is your last chance to opt out,” He said to you, entirely serious.

It took you a second, but after a breath, you managed a quick nod. “I’m, yeah. I’m good.”

“If you say so,” He shrugged and headed back to the dresser, grabbing his helmet and slipping it on. “Oh, and darling?” Jason called as he was halfway out. You hummed in response, and he continued, “I’m leaving the window open, so I’d keep it down. See you later.” 

You couldn’t even fully blame Jason at this point. He told you what to expect. He warned you. He warned you that you’d be alone with no escape until he got home, which, while he was hoping it was a quick patrol, could’ve ended up taking much longer. But you thought you could take it. Now, a few hours later, you’re starting to wonder if you underestimated the situation.

Frankly, you had lost track of time with the amount of thoughts circling through your head. It could’ve only been an hour so far, but you’re sure that it’s been more. You didn’t know and kind of didn’t care, either, as there was nothing you could do about it. Earlier in the night, you thought that maybe Jason put in a failsafe that if you really needed out, you could pull hard enough, but nothing worked. Not that you really wanted to get out, though; you were just testing. All you could do was wait.

So, you continued to wait, hyper-aware of all the noises happening around you. You had to listen very carefully since the blindfold over your eyes blocked that sense. It was hard to differentiate what was happening inside your apartment and outside since the window was still open, and the cool breeze was hitting your bare skin just right.

The cool breeze also reminded you that you had to keep quiet. Even though you were on the third floor, if you were loud enough, someone could hear you and welcome themselves in through the open window. It would have been difficult since it isn't a direct shot to the fire escape from your window, but you also didn't need random people (or vigilantes) imagining what was going on inside your and Jason's bedroom.

Finally, you heard a creek come from the window. "Jay...Jason?" You breathily called out, hoping he was finally back. When there wasn't a response, you groaned about the wind tricking you again, which resulted in a low laugh from someone in the room. He really was trying to fuck with your mind, too, by sneaking in, it seemed.

"Don't...don't do that," You said, not entirely clear on what you didn't want him to do.

You couldn't see Jason leaning against the corner of the room, his helmet already off and arms crossed as he watched you writhe and pull at the rope around your wrists and ankles. He didn't respond to your pleas but waited for you to reach the edge again before he said anything, fully making himself known.

"Wow," He marveled at the sight in front of him. "Someone just left you tied up here, did they?" He teased. You didn't respond, you couldn't, as you rode the edge but never making it over. He waited again before continuing, this time shutting the window and making sure you heard it so you knew you could be louder. "I can't believe they would do that to you. Leaving you all by your lonesome, tired and needy," Jason said as he walked closer. He stood at the foot of the bed and watched your back arch every few seconds, trying to get anything. 

Jason was proud of himself. You hated to admit it, but he was right about this whole situation being enough to keep you awake while he was gone. 

"Come on, don't you have anything to say about the mean person who just left you here? What a crazy criminal, right?" He taunted.

Again, you didn't respond. You could barely keep track of what he was saying. Jason knew it and leaned forward to touch your thigh with his gloved hand, lightly rubbing the top of it to encourage a response.

"R-right," You breathed out, almost a gasp. "It was...it was very mean of them."

"Then you got lucky that I showed up, sweetheart," Jason said, still slowly rubbing your thigh.

You took a deep breath as you prepared to respond again. "My," You started, pausing for a second before continuing. "My hero."

Jason pulled his hand back instantly and laughed again. "Hero? Oh, no. I'm no hero," He said, walking around the side of the bed and leaning in close to your ear. "I'm much, much worse."

Heat fluttered to your chest as Jason’s words hit you, and the buzzing below intensified. You hadn’t even realized he hit the button to turn up the vibrator’s level, pulling you back to the edge of an orgasm as you arched your back off the bed again, but this time, you were stuck there. The sudden change in power pulled you right where he wanted you. It kept you where he wanted you.

You heard Jason laugh from the corner of the bed now. You knew you looked pathetic, not able to calm down and not able to find release, but you couldn’t control it anymore. Jason peeled off his gloves as he watched you struggle, pulling at your wrists as hard as possible. “You’ve made such a mess already,” He stated. “How long has your captor left you like this?”

He was pleased when you didn’t respond, knowing the power he held over you right now. With his bare hand, he touched your thigh again but moved to the inside instead of staying on top. “I asked you a question, sweetheart. How long has your captor left you like this?”

It took a moment for you to get the words out, but Jason was patient. “I don’t know,” You spit out, almost as one word.

“No idea? Well, that’s a shame,” He sighed. “If it had been a long time, I would make sure to get you that release you so desperately need. But if you don’t know, it very well can’t be that long,” He continued to let his fingers circle your inner thigh, but staying far enough away from what you wanted to continue to tease you. “I think we can have some more fun before all that.”

“No,” You managed to get out, but Jason ignored it, knowing that no didn’t mean for him to stop. He had both his hands trailing your inner thighs now, only adding to his fun and your sensitivity. You could feel the bed dip when he kneeled between your spread legs, but still not close enough to you. He finally stopped teasing your thighs, but since he was closer now, his hands went up your body to your waist, your ribs, and your breasts. He circled all over your bare skin, some areas warm with need, some still cool from the late-night breeze. Of course, Jason knew how long you were like this, and even though it was longer than he was originally planning, he was going to make you wait just a little longer for having such doubt in him earlier when he was setting you up. He leaned forward, and you could feel both his hands dig into the bed beside your chest, and he was nearly straddling you, making sure to stay far enough away that you couldn’t feel him unless he wanted you to.

Jason leaned down to plant kisses on your neck and trailed down the center of your body, stopping just under your belly button. When he pulled back from your stomach, he realized you were still arching your back off the bed, and he couldn’t have that. You felt the hand to the right of you leave the bed, then land gently on your chest as he pushed slightly, making your back flush with the bed again. He kept his hand there, locking you down and making the vibrations much stronger as you couldn’t move anything with him holding you. 

“Jay,” You breathed out, catching his attention.

“Hmm?” He half-heartedly replied. It took you a moment to figure out what you wanted to say, so he prompted you. “Come on, use your words.”

“Please,” You begged, but you couldn’t say more than just the one word. 

So Jason decided to play dumb. “Please, what?” He posed. “That could mean a million different things, sweetheart; I need you to clarify.” 

He still had his hand holding you down as he waited for your response. As he waited, he tapped his fingers to remind you that his hand was there, and it was not moving until you said something. “Please, I need…I’m so close,” You finally managed to breathe out, begging him for any extra attention to get you over the edge.

“Need?” Jason asked. “What do you need me to do?”

He waited again, not moving, not even tapping his fingers. But he pressed the button on the vibrator again, turning it up another level to encourage you to tell him exactly what you wanted. He knew you were having a hard time with words, and he was enjoying the sight as your mouth opened and closed as you tried to find them.

“Need,” You barely managed to say. “Touch, oh my god, Jason.” 

“Touch? Baby, I’m already touching you, remember?” He tapped his fingers again, his hand still on your chest, right below your breasts. As the vibrations got more intense, you reacted harder, trying to pull your legs together for some friction and arching your back off the bed for some movement. But your legs were still secure to the corners of the bed, and Jason pushed down just a little rougher when he realized you were fighting against his hand. 

“Oh,” He dragged out as you continued reacting, pretending like he just came to a realization. “You want me to touch you somewhere else? You should have said so.”

You grunted in response, confirming what he said. “If I let go, you have to keep your back on the bed, okay?” He asked you, and you nodded to tell him you understood. “If you don’t, I’ll have to stop.”

The threat of stopping worried you because you weren’t sure how much restraint you had now, and it would only get worse when he started touching you in other places. You were hoping he’d go straight down to your pussy to give you what you wanted right away, but he wasn’t being that nice. Instead, his hand moved up from its place below your chest and onto your right breast, fiddling with it slowly. He gently massaged you, pulling strangled moans, and you worked as hard as you could to stay still. He rolled your nipple between his calloused fingers, and you thought the onslaught was over when he released your sensitive nipple and landed his hand on the bed next to your right side.

But just as you took a second to breathe, his other hand came off the bed, and he repeated his movements on your left breast. He knew he was torturing you with his slow movements, making you wait even longer for release. Jason could see you struggling to keep still and hold yourself to the bed. 

When he finished with your breasts, he decided you finally had had enough, and he’d move lower. He kept moving slowly, using one finger to track down your body as he leaned back. He brushed right over your clit, touched the vibrator for a little extra pressure, then stopped right before your entrance. He circled a few times, very slowly, enjoying the sight before him. 

You gasped as he circled. “Jason, please,” You begged, and this time, he happily obliged. He loved hearing you beg, but you’ve already given him so much that he was ready to help you. Jason watched your face as he slowly inserted two fingers, taking his time but making you feel good. You could barely focus on his fingers because you were so focused on keeping your back on the bed, and he could tell you were struggling. 

Jason reached his other hand up and laid it on your stomach, pushing down to keep you where you were so you weren’t worrying as much. You still had to focus to not move the top half of your back, but he was trying to help. Unfortunately, by him holding your stomach, it meant that he only had one hand to touch you with, and it was already preoccupied inside you. 

Jason’s fingers slowly pumped in and out of you, and he knew exactly what he was doing. He knew just one right move would send you in to your wave of orgasm, and he was having fun seeing how long he could make you hold on. You tried your hardest to keep your moans quiet, but he heard every single one of them. “Faster,” You begged through a moan, and Jason’s fingers paused.

“Are you telling me what to do?” He asked. Jason knew he was fucking with you in more ways than one, going from asking you to tell him what you wanted, to telling you to stop asking; he loved to change the rules. You hummed in response to his question, sounding like a suppressed no so that he would keep moving. “That’s what I thought.”

He started again, even slower than before, and it was killing you. “Just so you know,” Jason said as he kept moving his fingers. “Once you start, I’m not planning on letting you stop any time soon. How does that sound?” He asked, but your mind was such a blur at this point you couldn’t respond with anything besides a moan or a whimper. “So, do you want to start now or keep waiting?”

You whined again, but that didn’t satisfy Jason. “I need you to tell me. Do you want me to make you orgasm now, or do you want to wait?” He asked again, still slowly pumping his fingers. You weren’t sure how he was sitting on the bed, but you could tell he was still on his knees and probably leaned forward because you were sure you could feel his breath on your pussy. “Answer me.”

The hardest part was that you weren’t sure what you wanted. An orgasm right now sounded great, but you knew that he would keep his promise and you’d be oversensitive in seconds with as fast as he could pull them from you. But it would also be hell to wait because he knows all your tells. “If you don’t answer right now, then I’m going to pick,” He warned, which was the secret third option you knew you didn’t want, because his picking always ended with utter torture.

“N-now,” You decided in a snap, immediately not sure if that was the wisest choice.

As soon as you said it, Jason’s fingers inside you began to pick up their pace and hit nearly all the right spots. And you were right; you knew he was right in front of you, because he leaned in and over the small vibrator to immediately start sucking on your clit. The sudden change in pace and addition of his mouth made you scream, pulling at each of your secured limbs, barely able to get any movement. His other hand still held your stomach, but the top of your back and head arched off the bed in reaction. Luckily, Jason didn’t let up as he finally guided you off the edge and into a full-blown orgasm. 

It continued to rush over you, heat spreading throughout your entire body as Jason continued to suck, lick, touch, kiss, and even laugh and talk into you. You couldn’t make out any of what he was saying through your loud noises; you just knew that the vibrations of his laughter and speech were mixing with the still-on vibrator, and you knew there would be no coming down for a while. You tried to buck your hips, but everything mixed together kept your hips in place just as tight as your limbs were. The vibrator, just like it had been for the last few hours, stayed exactly where Jason tied it, and he had no intention of taking it off.

“Jason…Jason,” You called out over and over, barely having any time to breathe before you orgasmed again. “Hang on,” You said.

“I told you what was going to happen,” He said after he lifted his head from between your legs, making sure you could hear him. “This was your choice. You chose this.”

He waited to hear your response for a moment. Though he may have stopped attacking your clit, his fingers were still inside you, moving around in all directions. “Just…” You said. “I need…a second.”

“If I gave you a second, then I’d be breaking my promise of not letting you stop,” Jason said and didn’t wait anymore, his mouth right back on you, making you scream his name out again through another orgasm. As you came down a few moments later, he pulled his face back. “I’ll give you another choice. How does that sound?” He asked.

“O-okay.”

“I can either return to what I was doing, or I can move the vibrator,” He said. You waited to see if there was any clarification, but there wasn’t, and he was waiting for your answer. You knew there was a chance that he didn’t clarify because he wanted you to choose and screw yourself over, but you knew there would be no refuge if his mouth returned to your clit. Your choice was harder to decide in your mind because Jason never stopped moving his fingers in and out, in and out…

“Do you want me to choose?” He asked, pulling you back to reality.

You shook your head and yelled out your answer. “The vibrator!” You decided. “Move the…move the vibrator.”

You couldn’t see his pleased smile, and you sighed loudly in relief when Jason’s fingers exited you. You hoped that by move, he meant to get rid of it entirely, but you feared for the worst. Especially with how mean he was being tonight. As you thought about it, either answer was going to end the same way: he was going to keep you orgasming over and over.

You finally had a chance to catch up with yourself as he loosened the rope that held the vibrator on you, and it detached from your pussy. For a few seconds, you were just laying there, legs shaking in their binds. Jason loved watching your chest heave, and your legs shake as you still tried to pull at your wrists, but he couldn’t admire you for too long. Your worst fear came true as he tightened the rope again, this time leaving the vibrator sitting directly on your clit. You gasped out immediately, only groaning more when Jason pressed the button a few times to turn it on to its highest setting.

“Remember, you chose this,” He reminded you as you made your way into another orgasm. You continued to try to move your legs and hands, but still with no escape, as he made sure the ropes would never give way. You noticed when the dip in the bed between your legs let up, meaning Jason got off the bed. You weren’t sure what he was doing, but a moment later, you felt his rough hand on your chin. 

He leaned in, slowly kissing you through your moans and groans. As he pulled back, you could feel the soft smile on his face. “You’re doing so good, baby,” He said under his breath, almost breaking his character.

His hand left your chin, and you were worried he was going to leave you alone again. “Jay?” You called out.

“I’m still here. Just watching the show for a few minutes, then we’ll continue,” He said, and your eyes widened behind the blindfold.

“Con…continue?” You asked. You were certain that this was the beginning of the end of all of this. There was more he had planned?

Jason smiled again, though you couldn’t see it. “Of course. You didn’t think we were done, did you?”

“I-” You stopped when you were pushed into another orgasm caused by a mix of the vibrator and Jason’s words.

“Baby, we’re just getting started,” He said, making sure you heard it over your loud moan, excited for the rest of the night.