#lessons in crayon

[tenutovillage]

new hair

[wahroh]

Unless you have black paper.

[mintypsii]

chopper is SICK and TIRED

(redraw of that one textbook pic)

[webhead3345]

Wanted to see how well I could draw something on the notes app and I am pleasantly surprised with how it turned out. Not the best thing ever but considering the painstaking work of even putting lines where I wanted, I’ll take it. 😂

[nemo-zz]

me and who

[whoopseydaisy]

you ever get wild with your imagination about a dnd podcast called worlds beyond number

[daylighteclipsed]

the sp kids are so baby in the early seasons I’m gonna cry

[lightshadowandinksblog]

Explore The Enchanting World Of "Beehive Secrets" with A Printable Coloring Book

The “Beehive Secrets” printable coloring book offers a delightful way for children to dive into Kaida’s vibrant world. It promotes creativity, teaches valuable lessons about nature and friendship, and paves the way for a lifelong love of reading. So, bring out the crayons and let your little ones embark on an adventure that awaits on every page of this enchanting coloring book. Let Kaida, Bella, and the bees inspire their imagination and curiosity today.

[emmyrosee]

Don’t know if you’re taking request, but imagine modern college au where Toji has baby Megumi (the mother isn’t in their life) and reader, his girlfriend, have class together but has to bring Megumi along cause he has no babysitter or they cancelled, so while sitting on the back seat of the class, Megumi is playing with you hair for attention and so you pick him up and hold him and Megumi kicks his legs happy while he draws you all, as a big happy family UGH

IM GOINF TO DIEEEEEE THIS IS SO PRECIOUS AUGH

And secretly, you’re kind of glad when Megumi’s babysitter cancels, because the little boy is so sweet and so well behaved it’s like he’s not even there anyways, and yet you still adore spending time with him. So when Toji knocks on your door to pick you up, and there’s a tiny Megumi in his arms, he rolls his eyes as you squeal and take Megumi into your own arms, who instinctively wraps his around you.

“Yeah, hug him before me, how nice of ya,” he scoffs, but he smiles as you press a loving kiss to his lips.

“Not his fault I like him more than you,” you coo.

He snorts and grabs your book bag from the ground, carrying it as you make baby small talk with Megumi- what he colored the other day, the pretty kitty he saw on the walk to you, and the new highest number he learned to count to; which, he eagerly displays as you conclude your walk to class.

“You’re so smart, megumi!” You praise, nuzzling his nose with yours while Toji holds the door open for you both. You’re quick to make your way to the back, plopping down on the double table. “Baby, hold megumi for a sec?” You ask, and when Toji takes Megumi back into his arms, you take off your hoodie to lay it on the ground as a slight cushion. “There. Come get comfy Megumi!”

The small boy is let out of his father’s hold and makes his way to the hoodie, sitting down quietly before blinking his big eyes at you and Toji.

“I got your coloring books hold on,” Toji says, taking his own seat as he opens his bag. He pulls out a box of crayons, slightly worn from use, and a big coloring book, filled with dragons and knights for him to fill in. Megumi’s eyes light up as his father passes him the book, and he immediately goes to work.

The class starts like normal. No one says much about Megumi being there, an occasional smile or gesture for a high five from the small boy, but no one bats a negative eye. Megumi’s small but quiet, he’s a good kid who plays with his own toys and sits in place. No one really minds his company- especially not you.

Professor drones on for hours, talking about something you can’t pay attention to- you’re too busy playing with Megumi’s hair, carding the black locks and smiling down at him as he nuzzles into your touch. You’ll get the notes from toji later. You’ve got more important things to take care of.

It isn’t until megumi uncharacteristically stands up with a few crayons in his hand and reaches a hand up to stroke your head, smoothing down any hairs. You turn to him with a smile, patting your lap for him to crawl into, which he does eagerly. You flip your notebook to a random blank sheet- definitely making a note to get a rundown from Toji later- and let him color anything his heart desires. You bury your face into his tiny head of hair and gently rock both of you back and forth, only to smile when you feel Toji’s big, warm hand lay on your back, thumb smoothing up and down your spine. Megumi’s legs dangle and swing happily as he colors, occasionally humming in thought quietly.

The professor finally, after two hours, concluded his lesson, bidding you all farewell and dismissing the class. You stretch and take a peek over to Toji’s messy notes, and you chuckle and lean over to press a kiss to his cheek. “Pay extra close attention so you could teach me, huh?”

He snorts and turns his head to kiss your lips, “you had the kid, I knew your ass wasn’t going to pay attention. Besides- I can always tutor you later,” he chuckles.

You swat his chest with a laugh before turning back to Megumi, “what did you draw, lovey? Can we see?”

You see Megumi ponder for a moment, eyes looking down in thought before he looks up at you and nods quietly. When you open your notebook again, you nearly cry from the drawing.

It’s the three of you- toji drawn as a big square, you, a triangle, and Megumi a small circle. The two of them have dark scribbles to represent their hair, but Megumi took the liberty of being extra careful coloring your hair, making it look nice and pretty. You’re all encapsulated in a big, pink, messy heart that almost fills up the entire page.

“Who’s that?” Toji asks, pointing at a small circle between you and Megumi.

“Mr. Moo,” he says simply, referring to his tiny stuffed cow he sleeps with at night. Toji hums in acknowledgment, but you’re too busy burying your face against Megumi’s, kissing his tiny cheeks and squishing him close. He wraps his arms around you, merely out of instinct.

“Can I have it, Megumi?” You ask, and when the small boy nods, toji scoffs in offense.

“Hey. You got the last one- this one’s mine!” He argues.

“Uhhh, actually, you get Megumi all the time, so I call dibs on all his drawings,” you say back. “It’s a fair trade.”

“I’ll show you a fair trade,” he grumbles, but he leans down to pick up your bag all the same. “Come on. I need a coffee.”

“C’n I have donut?” Megumi asks.

“Why not?” Toji shrugs. “You were good today.”

“He’s good every day,” you hum happily.

[barcaatthemoon]

new friend || ingrid engen x child!reader ||

your meet your mom's new friend, maria.

your mom ran around the house frantically trying to tidy things up. most of your toys had to be put back in your room except for the little figures that you were actively playing with. your mom had told you that morning that she was having a friend over, someone important that she wanted you to meet. you knew that it wasn't frido or caro because she didn't get like this when they visited. this had to be a new friend, someone from your mom's new team.

"okay, i think that everything is ready," your mom said as she looked around the house. she had started something for you to eat, unsure of whether you'd like the spanish food her friend was bringing. the food was different here in a lot of ways. it had different taste, textures, and overall flavors. your mom told you that you didn't have to try everything right away, but almost every single day came a new food or snack.

"will you play with me?" you asked softly. your mom was about to sit on the couch and wait for mapi, but playing with you made her feel a lot calmer. ingrid sat with you on the floor, already knowing what game you were playing with the handful of animal figures on the floor. as much fun as you were having, your game was cut short by the knock on your door.

"maria, hi," your mother greeted. you doubted that you could have seen past your mother, so you didn't even look up from your game.

"hola ingrid," the mystery woman said. you should have expected for her to be spanish, almost everybody new was. slightly deflated, you dropped your toys, knowing that you wouldn't be able to speak with the stranger. you were good with your norweigan and german since you had been born and raised in those areas. english was still very new to you, and you hadn't even begun any of your spanish lessons yet.

"little lamb, do you want to say hello to mapi?" ingrid asked as she stepped aside. you looked up at the woman, who you thought looked a little scary. she was covered in pictures, like the bad guys in your papa and uncle's action movies. ingrid, noticing your slight discomfort, moved to scoop you up into her arms. you were a nervous child, but being in your mom's arms made you feel invincible. "she's nice, i promise. we play together at barcelona, she helps protect the goal. tonight, we're going to eat dinner together and hang out."

"like a playdate?" you asked.

"yeah, like a playdate," ingrid confirmed. you liked playdates, but all the kids here spoke spanish, so you couldn't have them anymore. sometimes, ingrid tried to arrange little trips to germany, but there hadn't been a break long enough for that yet. you missed your friends back at wolfsburg, barcelona wasn't nearly as fun for you.

you got the sense that it wasn't a playdate for you. your mom let you down, but instead of going back to your animals, you went to the coloring book on the coffee table. you had to be very careful as you colored. if you got colors on the table, you'd have to go back to the dining room table again. out of the corner of your eye, you could see your mom take maria to the kitchen.

it wasn't an overly long time that they were away from you. maria sat on the couch a little ways away from you while your mom sat right in front of you. you could smell your food, and it made your stomach growl with anticipation. it had been quite some time since she had made your special noodles for you, but since you were being brave and meeting a new person, your mom decided you had earned a plate of them.

"i need you to wash up and get your seat at the table," she said as she leaned down. you set your crayon back in the box and raced off to the bathroom. "hopefully she's a bit more chatty after dinner."

"it's good that she doesn't talk to strangers, it means she's smart," maria reasoned. ingrid had your plate set out as you came toddling back into the room carrying your booster seat. "can i sit here?"

"as long as frido isn't coming. that's frido's seat when she comes," you told maria. the spanish woman nodded as she slipped into the seat next to you. you were digging into your noodles without a care in the world as your mom returned with plates for her and mapi. "is there dessert?"

"focus on your food," ingrid told you. you huffed and pushed some of the noodles around on your plate. "(y/n), eat your pasta. you've been so excited about it all week."

"can we go out for ice cream after dinner?" you asked. there was an ice cream shop near your building that you had been begging to go in for weeks. each time, your mom brushed it off telling you that you could go later. now was definitely later to when you had asked, so there was no reason you couldn't go.

"how about this, if you can finish that plate, i'll buy you ice cream. sprinkles if you eat two." mapi placed her hand out for you to shake, and without hesitation, you shook it. ingrid looked impressed as you started eating with enthusiasm. you knew the rules about food, so you didn't go too fast. the last thing you wanted was to choke before you got to eat your ice cream.

"impressive," ingrid mouthed across the table at maria. ingrid had always been scared that you were underweight. you were an engen, and that meant you were thin and lanky. other kids seemed to hold weight better than you did, the idea of sitting and eating meals was a bit difficult for you. with maria there, you were sitting still and eating for the hope of getting an ice cream with sprinkles.

"come on, we have to play for 30 minutes before we can get dessert," you said, tugging on maria's sleeve a little. your mom started to chuckle as maria just stared at you in confusion. "come on, i'll show you how to play farms."

"lamb, english. maria doesn't speak like we do," ingrid reminded you. sighing, you tried to reiterate yourself in english, but the translation didn't come so easily. "she wants you to play farm with her while we wait for dinner to settle."

"oh, okay," maria said. she let you take her to the living room where your animals were set up. you explained it with ingrid's help and the three of you played farm together. maria wasn't very good at it, but truthfully, caro and guro were the only ones who were really good at playing farm with you.

as excited as you had been about ice cream, you ended up falling asleep on the floor while you played. ingrid tucked you into your bed and made sure to keep your nightlight on. when she came back, maria was sitting on the couch scrolling on her phone. ingrid smiled as she settled next to maria, who immediately wrapped her arm around ingrid's shoulders.

"that went very well, she likes you a lot. and i think she ate enough to sleep through the night," ingrid said. "it will take a bit of time, but i think she can handle knowing that we're dating."

"i owe her ice cream," maria said. ingrid laughed at that, not really surprised that maria was hung up on that. "do you think we could go after training tomorrow? you could bring her, then i can gloat to frido that i have a new best friend."

"and promptly get your heart broken when she runs to caro instead of you? just don't take it personally, she just met you," ingrid warned. "she likes you, but i'm pretty sure caro is her favorite over me."

[tenutovillage]

[wandasdove]

JEALOUSY IN THE OFFICE

Pairing: ceo!wanda x little!reader

Summary: reader grows increasingly jealous and frustrated as natasha, wanda’s business partner, monopolises her attention during a meeting. reader's bratty behaviour escalates into a confrontation with natasha, leading to wanda punishing them with spanks while natasha looks on, teasing them further. despite the embarrassment and tension, wanda reassures the reader of her love.

Warnings: MD/LG dynamics, brattiness, spanking as punishment, slight humiliation, jealousy, power dynamics, slight age play, mild degradation, emotional dominance (?). let me know if i forgot anything

Author’s notes: HIHIHI, this is a scheduled post because i’m away at camp right now. i hope you enjoy this and i’ll be back tomorrow evening :D this fic was inspired by my bunny @aggieslittlebunny <3

The spacious office was filled with the muted sounds of business: papers shuffling, pens scratching, and the steady hum of conversation. You were sprawled on the plush carpet, your crayons scattered around you as you focused on your drawing. Wanda, was seated at her desk, deep in discussion with her business partner, Natasha. You tried to ignore their grown-up talk, but your attention kept drifting back to them.

Wanda looked stunning in her green blazer, the color complementing her sharp, authoritative demeanor. You adored the way she looked in it, often finding comfort in the touch of its fabric. As time wore on, you grew increasingly restless. Natasha’s confident, almost smug voice grated on you. She was monopolising Wanda's attention, and you hated it.

Unable to bear it any longer, you got up and made your way to Wanda, climbing into her lap. She barely missed a beat in her conversation, wrapping an arm around you in a comforting gesture. You started playing with the hem of her blazer, tugging at it and trying to distract her from the ongoing discussion.

“за́йка, Mommy is busy right now,” Wanda murmured, her voice a soothing balm. (за́йка - bunny)

Natasha noticed your presence and smirked, her eyes gleaming with amusement. “Looks like someone’s feeling neglected,” she commented, her tone dripping with condescension.

You bristled at her words, your frustration bubbling over. “Why do you always have to be here, Natasha? You're not that important.”

Natasha laughed, a sharp, mirthless sound. “Oh, sweetheart, you really think that, don’t you? Let me remind you, I’m the one helping your Mommy keep this company afloat.”

You glared at her, feeling the heat of anger rise in your cheeks. “No you’re not. You’re just jealous because Mommy loves me more so you try and steal her from me!”

Natasha’s smirk widened. “Jealous? Of you? Don’t be ridiculous. You're just a spoiled little brat who can't stand not being the center of attention.”

You gasp really loud, genuinely offended. You get teary eyed at the idea of Mommy thinking you’re a spoiled brat. “I wish my Mommy never met you so I didn’t have to either. You’re so mean!”

“Y/N, that's enough,” Wanda interjected, her voice strained with barely contained frustration. “Apologise to Natasha right now.”

“No,” you spat, crossing your arms defiantly. “She’s always taking you away from me.”

Natasha chuckled, leaning back in her chair with an infuriatingly smug expression. “Such a petulant little girl. Maybe your Mommy should spend more time disciplining you than coddling you.”

“I hate you!” You say through gritted teeth, tears threatening to spill. You’ve always been a sensitive thing.

Wanda's patience finally snapped. "If you can't behave, then Mommy will have to teach you a lesson." She gently but firmly shifted you off her lap and stood you beside her chair. "Over my lap, now."

Your face burned with embarrassment as you glanced at Natasha, who was watching with a gleam of satisfaction in her eyes.

“But Mommy…. Nat-” You start, embarrassed that Natasha would see you like this again. Wanda’s sharp stare leaves no room for you to argue, so you hesitantly conform.

“You will count each spank and say 'Thank you, Mommy' afterward,” Wanda instructed firmly. “Understand?”

You nodded, your voice small. “Yes, Mommy.”

Wanda's hand came down with a sharp smack, the sound echoing in the room. “One. Thank you, Mommy,” you recited, your voice trembling.

Another smack.

“Two. Thank you, Mommy.”

By the time Wanda reached ten, your bottom was stinging, and tears pricked at your eyes. You felt humiliated, especially with Natasha's smug gaze fixed on you the entire time.

“…Ten. Thank you, Mommy,” you finished, your voice barely above a whisper.

Wanda helped you up, her hand gentle on your back. “I hope you’ve learned your lesson за́йка,” she said, her tone softening slightly. “Mommy loves you, but you need to behave.”

Natasha leaned back in her chair, her smirk never fading. “Such a brat,” she teased. “You definitely need more than ten.”

You glared at her, your temper flaring. “Why do you always have to be so mean, Natasha? It’d be better if Mommy ran this business without you!”

Natasha’s eyes narrowed, and she stood, her presence towering over you. “Sweetheart, I’m the one keeping this company running. Without me, your precious Mommy wouldn’t have time for any of your little tantrums.”

“Okay, thats enough now, Nat,” Wanda interjected, her tone brooking no argument. “This meeting is over for now, we’ll continue tomorrow. I need to take her home.”

Natasha gathered her things, shooting you one last condescending look. “Try to keep her in line, Wanda,”she said, her voice cold. “We have important work to do.”

As Natasha left, you buried your face in Wanda’s chest, trying to block out the sting of Natasha's taunts and the humiliation of your punishment. Wanda’s hand rubbed soothing circles on your back, her touch a comfort.

“I’m sorry, Mommy,” you whispered, your voice muffled against her blazer.

Wanda kissed the top of your head, her lips soft and reassuring. “I know, baby. Just remember to be good. Mommy loves you very much.”

[fieldsofwriting]

And so, the stars aligned. Pt. 2

Azriel x Archeron!Sister reader

Summary: Azriel knew you can't read. And he knows you would never admit it. So he tricks you into taking reading lessons.

Warnings: Slight mentions of nightmares.

part one part three, Part Four Masterlist Requests are open!!

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You had come into your room to grab something. And had lost every train of thought as you saw the note neatly placed on top of the book you carted around for show- not quite sloppy hand writing but it was clearly male and in a rush. A...stick figure drawing of you? Clearly Feyre had not drawn this. But there is an attention to detail, your hair is colored correctly, and your eyes also the right shade- or as close as you could get in crayon. Truthfully, it could have been anyone female but since it was in your room, it was safe to assume. And then a book- the library? Is that where this mystery would be solved. You were far too curious now to just not go.

And so, you folded the note up and put in into one of your pockets. Heading down there quickly. The only sound as you enter is the clicking of your shoes. Looking around you, and making your way over to Clotho's desk. The priest doesn’t look up at you but quickly writes, 'Ah, y/n to what do we owe the pleasure?'

You smile and pull out the note to show it to her. "It seems- I was summoned." Clotho's amusement oozes off her and she simple writes.

'Go down to level five and you should find what you're looking for.' Squinting suspiciously at her for just a second you debate listening. But that is your inner Nesta speaking, and as much as you loved your oldest sister you didn't want to be completely like her. So, complying with a general order wouldn’t be an issue.

Thanking Clotho quickly you make your way down to the fifth level. And you could have throttled Azriel as he looked over at you with a set of children's books, letter sheets and pencils. He was leisurely sitting there, legs crossed, his ankle resting on his thigh. Arms crossed as he looked at you. And knowing him, while his face remained neutral- he had a feline smirk just like Rhys’s on the inside. Stomping over, crossing your arms and glaring down at the Illyrian man you hiss, "What are you doing?"

"Teaching you how to read." He answers simply, not even slightly phased by your intense gaze. The shadows that normally linger around him aren’t there, instead- as if to mock how little of a threat you are- they pool at his feet like a dog. You'd have to talk to Nesta about getting that icy glare down pat.

"You're still on about that?" You scuff, turning on your heel to leave him with his silly ideas. But before you can get far, a gentle but rough hand grabs your elbow.

"If you can read, then I'll accept I was wrong and even buy you dinner." Azriel compromises. But he knew better, he saw the way your eyes glazed over when they looked at your book and there was no rhyme or reason as to when you flipped the page. Normally people had consistency when they were reading, You had none. Even when Nesta was reading smut there was consistency to it- albeit the page turns got faster but it was still consistent.

You were convinced you could do this. You didn't need him to know this about you. Not even your sisters knew- sure Nesta and Elain probably had inklings to it but you were just six when poverty struck. They were just kids too, it wasn't there job to teach you. Sitting down at the table you looked at the page. It was easy- just trace the letters. You could do that. So you picked up the pencil and started. And once you were done you slid it over to him. "See?"

He nods, taking the sheet and looking it over. Nodding as he examines the work. Then he sets it down and meets your intense eyes, but he doesn't shy away. He takes the first book off the stack. It was a young child's book- it should be a breeze for someone of your age. Prick. You think as he slides it over and folds his hands on the table. Watching the way your eyes widen. Your breathing hitches and there's a slight tremble to your hands as you take the book. He knows that look in your eyes- it's the one Feyre gets when she's calculating a plan. And he couldn't deny that he was slightly excited to see what you'd come up with.

Flipping open the book you know what he's probably looking for is some sortive consistency, so you'd let your eyes look at each word and then flip the page. And so, that's what you did. Finding it hard to keep up your little deception with his eyes focused so intensely on you. But you got to the end of the book and closed it with a triumphant smack. Looking back up at him- before you can open your mouth to speak, Azriel looks at you and asks. "What was it about?"

Shit. Fuck. You didn't look at the pictures! You quickly look down at the book and see a dog and a young boy on the cover. "Its about a dog and his owner." You say as evenly as you can manage for how fast your heart was beating. Azriel raises an eyebrow. Silently waiting for more. "When did you get so expressive?" You ask to quickly change the subject.

"I don't have to be on guard here. There is no one else around. And the priestess won't judge me for showing an emotion." He addresses your question simply, smoothly. Damn him and his stupid sliver tongue. He was the Shadowsinger! Of course he knew how to evade topics and questions to redirect to what he wanted! He taps the book in between the two of you again. And you look at his hands, scars running all along them, and of course you had know that. But it was the first time that you saw them this clearly. And as much as you wanted to get out of this situation- you knew that question was out of the question. "What is this about?" His voice remains gentle, but slightly stern.

Azriel watches you for any signs. He had seen many of them- you were a bad liar. Your emotions written all over your face. Your eyes, they showed everything. How no one else saw it astonished him. And for a second, as he watches how you look down at the book with apprehension and sorrow, that you quickly wash away once your gazes meet again...he sees your resolve break.

"Fine." You say quietly. "I can't read." Your cheeks heat at the confession- it felt so...so...mortifying that you were now twenty, an immortal High Fae and had no idea how to read. "Please don't tell the others." The last thing you wanted was for your sisters to look at you with that pitiful look they always seemed to give you when you mentioned something. Let alone, how awful it make you feel if Nesta fell back into her vices. Granted you knew Cassian wouldn’t let that happen.

He thinks his heart might just burst for a moment. Seeing you so somber. Azriel had watched you from the second you were dumped out of that Cauldron. Shaking, crying, gasping for air. The first thing you did was try and push it over so your sisters wouldn’t bare the same fate. And for the first few weeks after, when he heard your screams in the middle of the night. He'd make sure you were alright, given you the space to talk to him if needed. You rarely took the opportunity. Pushing him away despite him reaching out. Keeping him at an arms length for reasons he didn’t understand. Time, though. Everyone kept telling him with time, you’d come around. But you pushed him right into Elain. Not that he hated your older sister. No, far from it. They were good friends, they could talk for hours about anything and everything. But she wasn't you. She wasn't his. She had her mate, and Rhys has made it clear to him that despite his feelings toward her- they could never be. Lucian wouldn't accept it until she flat out rejected him, and even then they had no idea what the other male would do. Rhys didn't want to loose his brother over a girl. And while Azriel grumbled and snarled at him, deep down. He knew that he was right.

But watching you, moving through the Night Court with a smile that didn't reach your eyes and a grace that rivaled Elain's...Hearing your laugh in a crowed room and smiling into his drink. He knew that you made yourself seem happy, chipper, played the part of the sweet younger sister for everyone. So looking at you now, as your cheeks burn red and tears threaten to spill out of your eyes. He'd do anything he could to make sure you'd never look like that again. Azriel gently takes your hand, letting his thumb swipe over your knuckles as you look up at him. "I won't tell a soul."

And you believe him. The sincerity in his eyes, he's got no reason to lie to you. But you can't help the smile that creeps up. "Thank you."

And a comfortable silence falls as you both continue to look at each other and let your thoughts run free. Before Azriel clears his throat- and you were about 87% sure that there was a blush creeping in. "I can continue to teach you, if you'd like."

Looking down at the book in between you, where your hand was still in his. Tracing the lines of his scars gently, you nodded. "I think i'd like that."

Azriel didn't bother to hide his smile.

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a/n: This got very long, very fast. But I hope you all like it! Let me know if there is anything else you guys wanna see! And if y’all wanna be added to the tag list, let me know! :3

tag list: @sidthedollface2 @cat-or-kitten @impossibelle @brunette-barbie1220 @scatteredstardustt @sammanna @cherry-cin @tele86 @judig92

[pastelalleycat]

"It's-For-You!" Talking Telephone Toy

Ring... ring... ring... it's for you!

Transcripts below!

Eddie

[The phone rings once before it is picked up.]

Whether letter or parcel, whether rain, snow, or shine, we weather the weather and never decline! This is Eddie Dear of Eddie’s Post office speaking! How can I help you today?

[Silence.]

...Hello? Is anybody there? ...Should I say the jingle again? Okay-

[Eddie clears his throat.]

Whether letter or parcel, whether rain, snow, or shine, we weather the weather and never decline! This is Eddie Dear of Eddie’s Post office speaking! Do you need stamps? I got ‘em! Envelopes and paper? You bet! Markers, crayons, glue, glitter, tape, staples- [Takes a deep inhale to catch his breath.] I got that too!

[Silence.]

[Mumbling] ...I’m starting to think nobody’s there… Wait… I can’t remember if the phone was ringing… Maybe I was going to make a phone call... But who would I call? Well, if you’re there… Uh… Have a good day!

Barnaby

[The phone rings three times. Then it picks up.]

Hello? Hellooo?

[Silence.]

Is this a prank call, kid? Listen, I got a better joke for you- What did the bee say to the flower? I wouldn’t know, I wasn’t there! What do I look like, a BEE’s-dropper?

[Rimshot and horn honk. Barnaby laughs. Silence follows.]

….Not even a chuckle? Boy, tough crowd! Hey, you can’t blame a guy for phoning it in! How about you call me back when you got something funny to say too, little buddy! Buh bye!

Howdy

[The phone is answered in the middle of the first ring.]

You’re calling Howdy’s Place! The home of everything you need and everything you don't! Howdy Pillar at your service!

[Silence.]

...Hello? Hello! Listen, pal, time is jokes and if I’m not laughing then I don’t have time! ...Actually, I do have plenty of time in stock, it’s in aisle two next to the bananas. But …I call ‘em cuckoo clocks!

[Howdy laughs at his own joke, but it becomes softer and more embarrassed as the silence follows.]

...Alright, alright! You’re giving me nothing to work with, buddy! I only deal in funny business and it looks like you’re runnin’ low, pal! So long! You get it? Like a caterpillar! Haha!

Poppy

[The phone rings twice before it is abruptly picked up.]

Hello, this is the Partridge nest- Or I mean, this is Poppy!

[Silence.]

…Hello? Dear? Are you there? I can’t hear you if you’re speaking! Maybe it is my connection- Oh my feathers, a telephone is so difficult to work with- So many buttons!

[The sounds of shuffling, squawks and noises of tutting can be heard.]

Oh my goodness! I- Oh no, I’ve dropped the telephone on the ground I- Gracious me, there’s birdseed everywhere! I- I will call you back, whoever this is! Oh- My feathers are full at the moment! Don’t worry about me! Have a pleasant day deary-

[A panicked squawk is heard followed by a loud thud. The phone call abruptly ends.]

Frank

[The phone rings once before it’s answered.]

Hello, this is Frank Frankly speaking.

[Silence.]

...Hello? … Are you there?

[Silence.]

...Is this Julie? This had better not be another game you’re playing! …Oh no, is this a prank call? Is this Barnaby!? Well, I have a prank for you too, you jokester! A lesson!

[Frank clears his throat.]

Did you know butterflies have their own way of sleeping? It’s not so much sleeping as it is having a rest ! It is always done with their eyes open, too! They also like to rest under leaves as a means of protection from dew or rain drops! Better yet, to hide from larger creatures with an appetite! A bit like you and those horrible hot dogs you love so much.

[Silence. Frank huffs loudly in annoyance.]

Well, whoever this is, I’ll have you know I have better things to do than wait for you to respond! Good bye!

Sally

[The phone barely has a chance to ring once before it is picked up.]

Hellooo! You’re talking to the brightest and most stupendous superstar this side of the neighborhood! Sally Starlet!

[A triumphant 'ta-da!' jingle, followed by silence. Sally whispers her next sentence.]

…I said ‘Hellooo!’ That’s your cue!

[Silence.]

…What’s wrong, do you have stage fright? I know, I know, having a star for a neighbor can be so intimidating! She’s so terrific, you’re probably thinking! Phenomenal, staggering, breathtaking- I’m taking the words right out of your mouth, I bet!

[Silence. Sally sighs softly.]

Well, parting is such sweet sorrows, but I must shine my brilliance elsewhere! Why don’t you call me back when you don’t have such cold feet, hm? Farewell!

Julie

[The phone rings once, but in the middle of its second ring the phone is answered.]

Hello? [LOUDER] Hello!!

[Silence.]

...Hey, are you playing some kind of game? Well- I want to play too! Okay, let’s go on the count of three! One… Two… Three!

[Silence.]

…I don’t know how to play this game. ...Oh, I know what to do! We’ll make a new game! [Frantically spoken] We’ll need a jump rope, some chalk, a dice, a sandwich- I’ll call it… quiet sandwich jump rope! I better get everything ready, Frank’s going to love this game! Okay, bye bye!

Wally

[A long period of silence follows before three rings are heard. A pause follows even as the phone is answered before the sound of a heart beat can be heard below the ambient noise. This audio track constantly raises and lowers as it proceeds.]

Hello? Hello? Helloooo? … Ha Ha Ha...I’m only kidding. I know you’re there.

Did you like my joke? ...I think you were going to say... Yes! …Ha Ha Ha… You know… It is hard to hear you think through this funny phone of mine. It is as though you aren’t speaking at all. Maybe it is just a little fuzzy… Like me. Speaking of…

[The heart beat and ambience stop abruptly.]

...Do you know who I am?

[The heart beat and ambience resume.]

[Gasp.] Oh no. Well that’s not neighborly at all. We’ve never met before. But don’t worry. Even though you and I haven’t spoken before, I’ve seen you... Every time you have looked into my eyes. I want to know… What did you see?

[Silence.]

I hope you saw a friend, but I’m not sure you saw a name... Stand still. Let’s start over. Ring ring ring. Click. Hi, I’m Wally. I’m so happy to finally meet you, I think you’re the absolute most.

[Silence.]

Uh oh, I have to go now. Everyone is probably thinking about that strange phone call. It is funny to think about. …Ha ha ha… Don’t worry though, neighbor, it will be a little joke between you and me. You have to go too. You have work to do. Remember, until you hear me again, keep your smile merry and always know that I love you very much.

Good bye.

[pedge-page]

How do you think Joel would take on Sarah starting unwanted drama by not letting him into her tiny play house after he interrupts her and reader having a tea party, and she slams the plastic door and closes the windows on him and turning her little sign over that says “no boys allowed”

Well first, Joel's "interrupting" because its genuinely time for dinner and Sarah has ignored his call 3 times. He gets to his grumbly knees in the grass because her play house is literally 3 feet tall, all pink and purple and plastic af. He could blow the whole thing down in one breath but he CHOOSES not to (for fear of having you revoke his cuddle privileges).

So he knocks on the "open" sign that's scribbled in red crayon (undoubtedly by you because she can't spell yet).

She opens the door and stares at him with a pout.

"Its time to eat," he says calmly.

"We ARE eating. Bring us our food!" She snaps.

You giggle in the back. Despite being too big for the playhouse too, you managed to scrunch yourself inside and are currently sipping fake tea.

"I ain't ya servant little miss. Now get ya butt inside for--"

Sarah slams the plastic door shut before he could finish. She peers at him from the four by four bitty window frame (which has no glass BTW it's just a white frame) and she flips the sign that Joel conveniently got to "teach her a lesson" that reads NO BOYZ ALLOWED.

Honestly, he just sighs and chuckles to himself. As long as she knows she's never allowed to talk to or touch a boy ever, it's a win.

Until Tommy is stalking out the bsck door towards the play house.

"What are you doing here?" Joel asks as he brushes dirt off his jeans.

"I was invited."

"I didnt invite --"

"UNCLE TOMMY!" Sarah opens the door and urges him inside the house. He crawls in and says hi to you before Sarah tries to close the door on his big butt.

Joel's hand wedges between the door and wall to prevent it closing and shouts "If no boys allowed, why is Uncle Tommy here???"

"Hes not a BOY! He's uncle TOMMY!" She bellows. The little girl slams the door again right on his hand, pinching his fingers until he yanks them back and she's able to fully get the door closed. You and Tommy errupt in giggles inside.

Joel falls back on his ass in defeat. He inches over to the other side of the house that has more unoccupied windows. Sarah is busy scolding tommy for knocking over the table again with his cluncky knees, unable to get comfortable. You glance outside and smile at him.

"You okay in there?" He asks sweetly. "She ain't holding you hostage?"

"Im good, I promise," you kiss his fingers through the grate. "We're having fun in here, no daddies allowed."

He huffs.

You eye him up and down. "You look good on your knees," you hum with your tongue caught between your lips, a slight grin tugging along your mouth.

Joel blinks like a deer in headlights. He was expecting a million things but not that, and he's even more shocked how his body is processing it.

You pull away like its nothing. But Joel's got other ideas.

He picks up the entire play set just as Sarah screeches.

"Need Momma real quick," he says, completely ignoring Sarah's shouts, kicking and punching his shins. Joel scoops you up and then sets the house back over top his daughter and brother. Tommy grunts as it smacks his head but Joel's already carrying you in the house and up the stairs to the bed as you cackle.

[aetherdoesthings]

would you like some cake? (pt 2)

forethoughts: if you want to read part one it's would you like some new toys :D. i'm literally going to go home in a few hours and pull for arlecchino i'm so excited so happy so on adrenaline i can't ahhhh

notes: gn!child!reader, but fem!reader in mind. NOT AN X READER, READER IS A CHILD!!!

You don’t remember when was the last time you stepped foot in the playroom again. Father said she would take you to a different playroom, away from the others. You spent every day in that new playroom with Father. Father always gave you an option to go back. The door was always wide open. Distant sounds of the other children laughing and cheering rang in your ears. 

Father said you were getting better day by day. Much more used to your new toys. Father even allowed you to bring your toys with you everywhere. One inside your boots, one strapped to your belt. Father even allowed you to bring one to your room. 

Your room. Instead of the room you shared with the others, Father had moved you. Closer to her office. You have your own room now. Father had decorated it herself, she said. The mattress felt like three of the mattresses in your old room stacked upon each other. The room made you feel tiny. Alone. But Father was always there. Father was always with you.

Father said you were almost as skilled as the guards that stood outside the orphanage. 

Father was proud.

Father was proud of you.

Father always read you bedtime stories. Tucked you in, planting a soft kiss on your forehead before turning off the lights. Father always taught you to not listen to what the other children said. That the only person you should be listening to is her and yourself. 

You don’t remember when was the last time you felt eyes casted on you and words piercing your heart when you ate your meals. You still ate your meals in the hall with the other children; Father was adamant that you would still have some interaction with the others. But you didn’t care. 

Father made sure you knew your worth. 

~

Using your chopsticks, you fished up a bundle of noodles, putting it in your spoon and then in your mouth. You chewed, and then fished up another bundle of noodles. The children behind your back were loud and rowdy as usual. Father said to pay no mind to them. This time was different.

They were talking about Father.

It was Father’s birthday tomorrow. 

Father was always secretive and didn’t reveal much about herself. They were planning on surprising her with a big party in the playroom. Of course, you weren’t part of it.

Father was always there for you, you thought. Never shy from giving you gifts and words of advice on the days you needed them. 

You stood up from your seat, carrying your empty udon bowl to the sinks, giving it a quick rinse before putting it on the racks. You walked out of the hall, letting your feet take you where your mind wanted to go.

You closed the door to your new room, taking a seat behind your desk as you took out two sheets of paper, and some crayons Father had gifted you. While the rest played and had fun, you were in your room, scribbling away as best as you could with your black crayon. With your second piece of paper, you took out more colors from the box.

Father was always there for you.

You’d be a bad kid if you didn’t do the same, right?

The other’s idea of a celebration was tricking Father to go to the playroom, then cheering and singing happy birthday to Father while they played with Father. That meant that Father was unavailable to give you your daily lessons on how to properly play with your new toys. Fortunately you were busy too.

You entered the kitchen the moment you heard everyone else chant happy birthday in all different keys, the wide empty space with high workstations and cabinets sending doubt into your head. You shook it away, closing the door behind you with two hands, before taking a small tour around the space you would work with. Seeing that dinner was just served, all the cooks were done, leaving you a window of time to carry out your plan. Using a nearby stepping stool, you climbed onto the counters, reaching the high cabinets that were attached to the roof. Just as fate intended it to be a cooking book fell onto your lap, flipped to the page you wanted to go on. You closed the cabinet door, placing the cooking book by your side as you placed your boots on the stepping stool. 

Father said you were good at looking for what you needed.

Father said you were good at doing what you wanted to do.

You prayed Father was right.

With the big book set on one counter, you scurried around the kitchen, gathering all the required ingredients and items you needed next to the book. You found two more stepping stools, allowing you to move around on each stool like different stations. 

Father said your academic level was higher than the rest; you were doing exams meant for ten year olds.

“Pour… flour… in a bowl…” You muttered, finger on each word. You did as the instructions said, scooping out some flour and dumping it into a bowl.

“Egg…Sugar…Mix… Bake…”

For the rest of the day, you buried yourself in work, making what they called a ‘batter’. You had nearly dropped your hard made batter when you had to place the mold inside the oven, a new lesson learnt the hard way. After as much time as the book said, you took the mold out, this time wearing the funny shaped gloves on top of the counter next to the oven. With all your strength, you lifted the baked circular batter into a cart, before wheeling the cart back to your workstation. As the batter was baking, you had prepared a frosting, as they called it. Using a flat rectangle shaped object that had its corners rounded out, you spread the frosting over the top of the cake, before adding a fresh cherry to the top. 

The celebration had stopped. 

You heard Father’s voice tell the children it was time for bed. You gripped onto the counter, trying not to get shaken by the earthquake created by the hoard of orphans storming up to their room. Holding your breath, you waited until you couldn’t hear Father’s footsteps anymore, before letting out a sigh. You placed your finished cake on a pretty plate, using two hands to hold each side before exiting the kitchen.

~

You let out a deep breath, looking at the gold and crimson ornate double door in front of you. With the papers in your pocket, cake in hand, you used your shoulder to turn the doorknob, stumbling into Father’s office. 

“Y/N?” Father. You turned around, facing Father. Father was behind her desk, hand moving from her forehead to her chin as she looked at you with a playful grin. Since your back was still turned to her, she couldn’t see the cake you made.

“I was worried sick about you, my dear. I didn’t see you at the celebration the others held for me.” Father chuckled. “Where were you? Not even the caretakers or workers could find you.”

You opted to not answer her question, rather hobble your way over to Father’s desk with your little legs. You placed your creation on the same place Father had set you when you got injured. Father looked at the cake, her eyebrows raised as she tried to conceal the grin that was spreading on her face. She pointed at the candle that was stabbed into the cake next to the cherry with her index finger, and the wick was instantly lit on fire. 

“U-Umm…. I overheard it was Father’s birthday… so I wanted to do something special for Father…” You mumbled, fidgeting with the hem of your sleeve as you tried to maintain eye contact with her. “I-I made you a cake. I t-tried my best. Would Father care to try my cake?”

Father let out a chuckle, looking at you with a soft and warm gaze. “You made a cake? All for me?”

“I-I wrote a c-card too…” You pulled the card and the second piece of paper out of your pocket, placing it next to the cake.

“Y/N… I…” Father chuckled, the corners of her mouth reaching her eyes. You’d never seen her look at you like this. Yes, she was always happy and cheerful. But never this much. Even as she tried to conceal it, you had spent enough time with her to know that she was feeling much more than a simple grin. 

“Of course I would love to try your cake.” Father took the fork that was placed next to the cake, digging out a portion of your creation before putting it in her mouth. You could’ve sworn you saw a glimmer in her eyes. She took another bite, nodding her head and smiling at you.

“D-Does Father like it?” You asked with a worried tone. 

“I love it, my dear.” Father hummed, forking out another chunk of your cake, putting the fork in front of your mouth. “Why don’t you try your own creation?”

“But it’s Father’s cake.”

“I insist.”

“O-Okay.” You wrapped your mouth around the fork, chewing on the cake you made. A smile crept on your face as you swallowed the bite. Thank the gods you had actually made food and not poison.

“Come here, my child.” Father patted on her laps. You walked around her desk, climbing on her laps as you looked up at her. She continued to spoon feed herself and you, wiping away any crumbs on your lips with her finger.

“H-Happy Birthday, Father.” You exclaimed.

“Thank you, my dear Y/N.” Father smiled at you, planting a soft kiss on your forehead. “I loved it, my little cook. This was the best birthday present ever.”

You could feel serotonin rush through your body. “R-Really?”

“Yes! Why would I ever lie to you, my dear?” Father hummed. “Thank you for such a wonderful birthday gift, my dear.”

~

Arlecchino sat on her chair, a sigh exiting her mouth as she looked at the card you had written, as well as the piece of paper. She had read a quick bedtime story to you, tucking you into bed before going back to her office. Arlecchino opened the letter, as the words entered her heart, fueling that flame of hers she carried and protected.

“Father,

haqqy dirthbay. I hoqe you hab a goob bay anb are haqqy. thank you for everything you bo for me. i really like my new toys.

Y/N.”