#lesbians who aren't white

[em-the-nem]

I

WANT

TO

SEE

SOME

FAT

LESBIANS

ON

MY

FEED

[strangertheories]

I don't know how to articulate this but the "feminist" pushback against hairy or gender non conforming women, especially lesbians, in order to make cishet white feminine women feel more comfortable associating with the feminist label makes me think a lot of you aren't the feminists you think you are.

I get that we aren't appealing to men or making them like feminism or whatever but I don't want to spend my time trying to appeal to misogynists and corporations. I'm not trying to be approachable, I'm trying to exist in a world free of patriarchy. I'm trying to fix issues that can't be fixed with a cute infographic. I'm trying to live my life without being called a pick me or "not like other girls" when I speak about my struggles with fitting in with other women.

And yet, when I join feminist groups in real life, all they want to talk about is how we can get men to join us or how we can show that feminine women can be feminists too. And whilst men and feminine women can absolutely be feminist, there are so many more issues out there and there's such a lack of intersectionality in these groups too.

You're not unpacking beauty standards when you put down hairy women. You're not advocating for female solidarity when you shout down women talking about their feelings of exclusion. Rich women who hurt working class women for a paycheck, especially those in developing countries, aren't girlbosses.

I'm so sick of feeling like a weirdo in women's spaces and I just sort of had to vent.

[batfamfixation]

Actually? Fuck all of the people trying to gatekeep comic book characters that exist in other media. Acting like people can only form opinions about characters based on the comics is bullshit. If someone likes the Teen Titans because of the TV show instead of taking the time to read the thousands of comics "required" to be a "real fan" of those characters, good for them. If someone likes the Young Justice or Justice League cartoons and wants to talk about their love of those characters, they should. If Batman from Batman the Animated Series is a person's favorite version of Batman and their comfort character, GOOD FOR THEM.

This need to gatekeep comic book characters that appear in other media is fucking gross. If someone loves Batman and says he's a great guy because of how he's depicted outside of modern comics, then they're not a "fake" Batman fan, they just love a version of Batman that you don't care about. The same goes for all of the other DC shows and movies. People are allowed to love versions of characters that exist outside of comics and call themselves a fan of that character.

Stop. Gatekeeping. Fictional. Characters

[1eos]

it really pisses me off that any attempts to discuss how misogyny statistically leads to violence against women at the hands of men and then defended by everyone brainwashed by patriarchy regardless of gender (re: mothers protecting sons who assault their partners) is immediately derailed by mras claiming it's terf rhetoric???? trans women are part of the women facing the violence what the fuck are you talking abt? it boggles the mind that half the time when ppl are trying to 'combat' transmisogyny they're fucking being transmisogynistic

[holisticknight]

dont mind me just trying to find a way to metaphysically rip off my own skin and shape it into something that doesn’t fill me with discomfort and rage

[elytrafemme]

the only sad thing was when we were talking we were saying we looked like mean girls (AKA four pretty girls walking around a store with drinks) and they decided i would be karen :/ which i can accept However i am so fucking regina this is an established fact about me. however karen is the second closest i am NO fucking gretchen lmao nor am i a cady 

[miraculouslumination]

To be honest I just don't really buy that you can make grand sweeping claims and statements when you are trying to to discredit or undermine the oppression and struggles of a group of people and be 100% right nor without turning into an absolute clown

[floralfemmes]

white lesbians tend to fail to comprehend the existence of lesbians of colour

when they think of the lesbian community, they think of their fellow white lesbians

that's part of why lesbians of colour get accused of lesbophobia when we talk about racism in the lesbian community. because they see us as outsiders attacking a community we don't belong to, rather than community members addressing a widespread issue that impacts us every single day

it's a very similar experience for Jewish and Muslim lesbians. people believe there is an inherent conflict between our faith and our lesbianism, so we are discounted from lesbian spaces and conversations

so when Jewish and Muslim lesbians talk about islamophobia and antisemitism in the lesbian community, we are again accused of lesbophobia, because we aren't seen as members of the community. people who know nothing about our religions decide that we can't be Muslim and gay or Jewish and gay.

being a brown Muslim lesbian, I experience this regularly. white lesbians don't see me as one of them, so any critique that I have of their racism/islamophobia/antisemitism is dismissed as a lesbophobic attack from outside the community

I'm tired of the whiteness of so many lesbian spaces. I'm tired of being ignored and dismissed and excluded and vilified and told who I can and can't be

but I'm so grateful for my fellow lesbians of colour, my fellow Muslim lesbians, and the Jewish lesbians that I stand in solidarity with

I wish we didn't have to build our own community to escape the white supremacy, but I'm so glad that we have each other. that we support each other when the white lesbian community excludes us

we're still here. we always have been, and we always will be.

[genderqueerdykes]

if you are a trans man or masc, masculine nonbinary, genderqueer, genderfluid or other gender non conforming identity, masc gay, a bear, a butch, stud, or boi, or other masculine queer person and don't feel welcome in any queer spaces, you're not alone.

the communities both irl and online have become EXTREMELY hostile toward mascs and men to the point of straight up excluding us and changing their wording to justify their violent exclusion. from renaming nonbinary spaces to "femme & them" and "she+" spaces, to telling men & mascs that they would "Scare" the women and "nonbinary" folks just by being there, as if masculinity and manhood are inherently traumatizing to be around.

masculine and male nonbinary folks have it so hard- most nonbinary spaces are almost definitely women's spaces who also conflate womanhood with nonbinaryhood, and often times just view nonbinary people as confused women. we are not inherently traumatizing to be around: masc enbies need places to go. we are still nonbinary and still trans and still queer for fucks' sake

nonbinary has never and will never mean femme or woman-adjacent inherently. nonbinary means what it means: people who don't or refuse to adhere to the gender binary, regardless of what side it is. masculinity is included in this, femininity is not the only way to be nonbinary.

masc queers do not have to bend over backwards to try to be more feminine and thus "less threatening" in order to have places to go. that's dysphoric and just inaccurate to a lot of queer folks' identity and presentation. it blows my mind because it makes no sense, anyway, even within the gay community, hypermasculinity has been present and even sought after by some people who find it very attractive, twunks, hunks, bears... but between the periods in queer history people started viewing masc gay leathermen and kinksters as the ones who were responsible for spreading AIDS and thus removing them from pride parades,

AND the lesbian separatism moment picking up to remove butches & male & masc lesbians from lesbian spaces identity, paving the way for modern rdical femniism, we've only entered a downhill landslide of hating men and mascs and ultimately trying to erase us from the queer community entirely.

the queer community is not the "women & femmes community". the queer experience is broad and vast, it includes a wide variety of masculine and male experiences, as well as genderfluid, multigender, completely ungendered and other gendered experiences. the lesbian, trans, bisexual, nonbinary, gay and general queer communities aren't the "safe place to hide from men & mascs community" like estranged rdfems and terfpilled trans folk like to tell you they are.

this is the QUEER community and it includes ALL forms of queerness, masc, femme, butch, male, neutral, bigender, neutral, and all. he/shes and he/hims and he/theys and he/its and so on are just as much of a part of this communities as she/hers and they/thems. you can't cast a blanket of "inherently abusive" over all men and mascs and one of "inherently abused/incapable of being abusive" over all women and femmes because that just traps you in a fantasy land that doesn't exist AND it prevents mascs and men from getting the help, resources and community they NEED.

men & mascs are hurt and abused by women & femmes every day and we refuse to speak about them because we live under a white cisheteronormal patriarchy and have complaints about how that functions. the complaints are legitimate but assuming that all men and mascs are oppressing all women and femmes and that women can never be oppressive is a false as hell narrative that actively damages people.

enough is enough. this mindset is hurting people. it's leaving masc and male queers to be estranged, harmed and even dead. i care about you if you're being affected by this mentality and these behaviors. you deserve community, safety, and a sense of belonging, you do belong, even if we struggle to form our own spaces due to unjust hatred. we will do our best to band together and keep each other safe. we must

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Noriko: I'm not like the other girls here.

The other girls: *breaking into tears over each other, praying, poetically monologuing, and staging dramatic political coups every three seconds*

Noriko: I'm normal.

The other girls: *repressed sapphic wailing intensifies*

Shimako: Gokigenyou, Noriko-chan. I'm Shimako.

Noriko: .......... I'm gay.

I feel such affection for the way White Rose Family are all such teenage edgelords. And then the way Sei and Shimako are yet all flowery-languaged about their angst, but Noriko’s very first line is literally just “I’m not like the other girls”, no extra screencap necessary. lmao

[thatonegaybrit]

; happy pride to everyone ! And I mean everyone. All of you. Even the ones that aren't usually mentioned !!?

; including but not limited to:

BIPOC queers

Disabled queers

Neurodivergent queers

Closeted people

People in countries it's extremely illegal to be queer ( stay safe, it'll be okay !! )

People in unsupportive families ( stay safe, you'll find family / friends who support you, I promise <3 )

Trans folk who haven't and / or have no desire to medically transition

Xenogender users

Neopronoun users

People who use " conflicting " labels like being masc-aligned and a lesbian

Aroallo people ( exclusionists be damned,, you are valid !! )

Intersex people who are AFAB / AMAB

Intersex people in general

Queer people who don't fit their stereotypes ( i.e. Fem lesbian, masc gay, non-androgynous enby )

Black trans women who continue to be masculinized and misgendered ( you are a woman !! A beautiful one at that. )

Gay asian men who are fetishized ( you're not a fetish !! )

Old queer people who are forgotten / underrepresented

Alternative people who are queer ( mainly black / non-white ppl .. But also all of you !! Valid !! )

People who use uncommon microlabels and are always forgotten

Plus-sized queers !!

People who didn't realize they were LGBTQIA+ until much later in life

People who aren't out and proud and are actually having lots of doubts,, it's okay to have doubts !! You're still valid !!

Transmascs / transfems who don't specifically identify as a man / woman

People who are religious and queer

; and everyone else who's often excluded / forgotten !! You're a part of this community and you're so so valid and you deserve to enjoy pride month too ! However you do so. :]

; brief caps tw below this <33

; HAPPY PRIDE MONTH <3

; pt: HAPPY PRIDE MONTH <3 :end pt

[cometblaster2070]

genuinely just OBSESSED with this hc that apple is a complete and utter MESS when it comes to her relationship with darling.

like it's such a funny contrast for the people who know her because this is Apple White; she is calm and polite and put together, and in all the years she dated daring, she was so fucking chill about everything.

daring dating other girls? didn't give a shit. everyone's wondering why they aren't affectionate in public? well, they're just teenagers they have forever after yk. when will they go steady? they have the rest of their destinies to worry about that.

you get my drift; apple does not give a single shit when it comes to this relationship because she is so in control of it. the actual 'relationship' aspect isn't really important to her and as such she's so composed in terms of her relationship with daring.

but throw DARLING in the picture and then there's apple running around like a headless chicken, being absolutely CLUELESS about what to do now that she actually has feelings for someone.

i'd like to have an entire episode of darling and apple going out on a date where there's basically a reverse situation of the dexven date ep where raven keeps trying to hype apple up and keep her calm while thinking 'dear god was i really like this???'

meanwhile, apple's hyperventilating over here just thinking about what to wear, what jewelry will match with her dress, if she's overdoing it or not, whether she should get darling a gift or something, what if she's overdressed or underdressed, and will darling like the food where they're going, and if darling even likes her at all the way she likes darling-

in the end raven grabs dexter and she says fuck this shit you and i are going undercover and tailing them, im too worried for this lesbian disaster.

dexter agrees because he's just come from helping rosabella hide all of darling's armor and assorted weaponry and they had both enlisted the help of the wonderlandians to make sure darling didn't have a breakdown every 3 seconds every time she realized she was actually going on a date with apple.

shenanigans are ensuing and rosabella and raven are getting the worst of it by this point, but they love apple and darling too much so they put up with it.

[kuruk]

it's one thing to be excessively open about your sexual life on tumblr if you're normal interesting cool or beautiful, but if you have the aura of a white 20s year old who had a phase of calling themselves feral on their sideblog dedicated to systemic aphobia where you had overpriced fursona commissions linked at the top of your blog, you need to stop making gross sex your tumblr personality just because it's popular to be open now. which is a beautiful thing of course or it should be, except not everyone is allowed to pull that off like you are gross and off-putting and quite frankly unsightly so please start acting like it. stop announcing to everyone that you are apparently having the weirdest most confusing queering dykefag sex ever seen. first of all it's cruel to keep shoving the notion of lesbians happily having sex with men in our faces so obsessively as if most lesbians aren't going to feel a sinking pit of disgust, depressing discomfort, and a sense of violation just simply reading this sort of imagined fantasy.. and second of all, what you are actually having is a big ego.. and you must put a stop to this grotesque and obsessive performance you insist on putting on for everyone, when your audience is either unimpressed or just the same and so too absorbed in putting on the same show to give a care your way

[olderthannetfic]

I was reading a fic and genuinely enjoying myself up until the author decided to make a huge deal, in their AN, about how their protagonist is bi. As in ACTUALLY bi, not that stupid "straight with one exception" trash homophobic fujoshits write. I'm a cis man. I am heterosexual with exactly one exception. I don't know why. I went through years telling myself I was just confused. I heard from my queer friends at the time that only being interested in one other man wasn't a thing, that it was actually me being confused in the other direction, hiding all my crushes and desires from myself.

My family was convinced I was straight. My friends were convinced I was bi for a lot of men, I just wasn't admitting it. My now husband was the only one who told me it was fine. He's gay and he had a crush on one woman, once. Exceptions happen.

So at the risk of siding with the dreaded (presumed cis, presumed het, presumed white) enemy known as women, I... actually like the whole "if it's you, it's okay" thing. I don't assume an evil fetishizer who hates queers is writing it. It never reads that way. It reads as a story, just like any other story. A way to be queer just like any other valid option. Queerness is a spectrum. Not everyone is bi in the same way or gay or lesbian or anything else. The Kinsey Scale exists for a reason.

I spent five years in and out of therapy and church trying to fix myself. Being bi in any way was too much for my family. It was "get rid of the gay or get out" territory of panic. I could have a family or I could have my feelings for him. Choosing him involved giving up everyone I had grown up with. It involved years further of "so you can admit now that you had other male crushes, right?" no matter how many times I said no until I had to cut some queer friends out of my life, too.

And I'm not "ACTUALLY bi", apparently. I'm a trashy homophobic stereotype fujoshi came up with. I'm not actually bi. Real bi men have an equal number of women and men they're into. Bi is code for 50/50 or else you're, you know. Basically fictional. Definitely doing it wrong.

Upon some digging, I found out the writer is a lesbian woman. You would think with all the shit lesbians get she'd know better. I've seen people try to tell lesbians they aren't lesbians because "oh you dated a guy once" or "uh, you had sex with a man, you can't be" and all kind of shit that makes no sense whatsoever. So for her to turn around and go, "there is a single correct way to be a bi man" is just insane. Ma'am. Ma'am. You should know that's not how queerness works! You're queer!

This has annoyed me so much that for the first time in nine years I have pulled up a Microsoft Word document and I am writing fanfic. I am going to write so much It's Okay If It's You, one-exception-only queer fanfic.

Because it's fine to be queer even if it's this way, actually. It's fine to be queer, period! There are not rigid rules to it, that's one of the biggest joys of it!

I feel so old and tired and I'm only 40. Jesus Christ. "ACTUALLY bi". Fuck. The world is broken.

--

[kiefbowl]

one of the unfortunate issues with young people and/or naive people online learning "social justice" from social media for the first time ever (which is not a value judgement), and learning a weird "privilege vs. virtue" paradigm about minority classes, is that they seem oblivious to the fact that there are a lot of people who do not care about ""their people"" and will take the opportunity to scam the shit out of poor, desperate communities they have an "in" with. so you'll have people who promote, like, weird instagram "healers" as having the truth even though it takes 7 seconds to realize they're a grifter who sells $500 classes on zoom with no accreditation on anything and a website that drop ships cheap-o bullshit. or reblog every e-begging post they can find. idk how to tell you this, but even disabled non white poor gay people can lie their asses off, if they even are any of those things. even though white mormon moms have a death grip on the mlm market, they really aren't the only ones out there getting people's asses into debt. "but why would a former cancer patient sell false medicine?" bc getting cancer doesn't make you a good person. "but why would a disabled person lie about their disability summer program?" bc being disabled doesn't make you a good person. "but why would a queer poly thruple of black autistic lesbians lie about their therapy services?" bc they aren't good people and they wanted to make fast money!! it's always the answer, if they scammed people it's because they aren't good people and they wanted to make fast money. and they love dopes that will promote them so they can make more money even faster. they'll drop everything in a heartbeat when the heat comes bc it wasn't a legitimate business, and because they aren't good ppl and it was about making fast money.

so, like, it's okay to be discerning. it's okay to be like "hmmm, I think selling $100 fertility candles and diet cleanses on instagram under the guise of ancient wisdom and colonial trauma is, actually, very suspicious" even if that person "looks like" they "should know" what they're talking about.

[ignitesthestxrs]

there's something about the way people talk about john gaius (incl the way the author writes him) that is like. so absent of any connection to te ao māori that it's really discomforting. like even in posts that acknowledge him as not being white, they still talk about him like a white, american leftist guy in a way that makes it clear people just AREN'T perceiving him as a māori man from aotearoa.

and it's just really serves to hammer home how powerful and pervasive whiteness and american hegemony is. because TLT is probably the single most Kiwi series in years to explode on the global stage, and all the things i find fraught about it as a pākehā woman reading a series by a pākehā author are illegible to a greater fandom of americans discoursing about whether or not memes are a valid way of portraying queer love.

idk the part of my brain that lights up every time i see a capital Z printed somewhere because of the New Zealand Mentioned??? instinct will always be proud of these books and muir. but i find myself caught in this midpoint of excitement and validation over my culture finding a place on the global stage, frustration at how kiwi humour and means of conveying emotion is misinterpreted or declared facile by an international audience, frustrated also by how that international audience runs the characters in this book through a filter of american whiteness before it bothers to interpret them, and ESPECIALLY frustrated by how muir has done a pretty middling job of portraying te ao māori and the māoriness of her characters, but tht conversation doesn't circulate in the same way* because a big part of the audience doesn't even realise the conversation is there to be had.

which is not to say that muir has done a huge glaring racism that non-kiwis haven't noticed or anything, but rather that there are very definitely things that she has done well, things that she has done poorly, things that she didn't think about in the first book that she has tacked on or expanded upon in the later books, that are all worthy of discussion and critique that can't happen when the popular posts that float past my dash are about how this indigenous man is 'guy who won't shut up about having gone to oxford'

*to be clear here, i'm not saying these conversations have never happened, just that in terms of like, ambient posts that float round my very dykey dash, the discussions and meta that circulate on this the lesbian social media, are overwhelmingly stripped of any connection to aotearoa in general, let alone te ao māori in specific. and because of the nature of american internet hegemony this just,,,isn't noticed, because how does a fish know it's in the ocean u know? i have seen discussions along these lines come up, and it's there if i specifically go looking for it, but it's not present in the bulk of tlt content that has its own circulatory life and i jut find that grim and a part of why the fandom is difficult to engage with.