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buckymorelikefuckme · 4 months ago

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what a wicked thing to do

vampire wanda maximoff x fem reader

words: 4.2k

warnings & tags: **18+ ONLY** lesbian vampires yes GAWD, fantasy au, inaccurate historical au, smut, fingering, implied soulmates (?? kinda i guess), biting 👀, mention of blood, does this count as hurt/comfort? we shall see!! and uhhh it's kinda spooky ooky vibes but it's not really dark? i think. pls let me know if i missed anything!

a/n: listen..... i've already got spooky season in the brain and i really wanted to reshare this fic. i've edited it a little but i've also left the link to where i orphaned it on ao3 in the title if you prefer reading there~ any and all mistakes are my own! feedback is greatly appreciated and heavily encouraged pls and thank ♡ xoxo

wanda maximoff masterlist || main masterlist

It’s that time of year in between autumn and winter where it’s only getting colder and colder, no reprieve even during the sun’s highest point of the day. Part of you worries it’s a mistake to wander through the woods like this, especially so close to sunset.

But then you remember the briefest moment when you saw her, when your eyes met hers; it happened so quickly, but also felt as if time stopped. Something flashed in her gaze before she looked away and disappeared in the busy crowds of the village.

That moment, as brief as it was, leads you here. You hug your arms tighter to your torso, cursing the bitter wind whipping around you. Your dress had been a bright idea when you’d first thought of it. Now, you’re wondering why you thought such a plunging neckline would be smart, considering the seasonable chill in the air.

Although, you think with a flutter in your stomach, that’s not exactly true. You know exactly why you chose this dress.

There’s hardly any light left in the sky by now. You’re kicking yourself for getting lost in the woods, wondering if anyone would notice, or care, whether or not you return to the village. You have no family, no money, nothing tying you to anyone or anything. You work odd jobs to be able to make ends meet. The people knew of you, but you are sure they hardly concerned themselves with your well-being.

But then, when your gaze had met her own, you’d felt seen for the first time in ages. It was like she could see everything inside your mind, every ounce of longing and every bit of loneliness, even in the split second she held your stare. You haven’t been able to stop thinking about her since then. Nearly two weeks have passed, and you’d finally decided to find out if the stories that follow her hold any truth. They are quite colorful, full of fantasy and myth, surely decorated to sound more elaborate as the years go on. Fantasy and myth, perhaps, but one particular piece of information continues to remain the same.

She hasn’t seemed to age in the fifteen years she’s spent living near your village. Not one line or wrinkle to be seen on her pale skin. Not one gray hair on her head. Some of the elders even swear they'd seen her when they were children.

Her home is a mystery, one that stays that way out of fear. There is something about her eyes, some say, something off, not quite right. Because of this, no one has felt compelled enough to try finding her home.

At least, not until you.

You’re beginning to think you are truly lost, feeling hopeless, when you finally spot something in the distance. But just as relief washes through you, the rain starts. Each drop feels like sharp, stabbing pieces of ice landing on your exposed flesh, soaking into the thin fabric of your dress. It takes mere minutes for you to become drenched. Your dress is now clinging to your body uncomfortably, the cold even more biting than it already had been.

It comes into view, what you’d spotted several meters back, easier to make out. A looming castle breaks through the trees, windows lit with candles.

Your arms and feet are going numb, but you push through, stumbling your way to a cobblestone path that leads to tall, wooden doors. With a trembling hand, you raise the door knocker and bang it against the door as loud as you can manage, praying whoever is inside will hear.

Your wait is short lived, thankfully. The door creaks open loudly to reveal the very woman you’d been searching for. If she’s shocked to see you, she hides it well. She looks as regal as ever. A black dress hugs her lithe body, her hair perfectly brushed and styled. This close to her, you can see what the people mean. She looks ageless.

“E-excuse me, madam,” you begin, trying your best to keep your teeth from chattering. “I-I’m terribly lost and I d-don’t think I can find my w-way back to the village.”

The woman lets her eyes roam your shivering frame, lingering on your glistening chest for a second, then meets your pleading gaze.

“Of course. Please, do come in. I’m sure you’re cold.”

“Th-thank you,” you reply earnestly.

She steps aside, leaving just enough space for you to squeeze by.

“Think nothing of it,” she assures you. “You’re welcome to stay as long as you need, at least until the storm passes.”

As the door closes behind her, you take in as much of the space as possible. With it being nighttime, the candles can only do so much. For a castle, it is rather large, but it’s not quite as foreboding as you would have imagined. Though, you surmise, you hadn’t really known what to expect at all.

“Would you like something dry to change into?”

You whirl around, almost tripping over your feet as her voice registers, so close to your ear.

She smiles, amusement tickling the corners of her mouth. “Perhaps a cup of tea?”

Swallowing roughly, you nod, offering a smile of thanks in return.

“Very good. You should go sit by the fire to warm up while I get everything sorted.”

She points toward a room where you can see flickering light dancing off the walls. You nod again, letting your tired feet follow the promise of warmth. The closer you get to the large fireplace, the harder you shiver, goosebumps rising along your skin. You stand as close as you deem safe, hands held out to thaw them. For the second time, she sneaks up behind you.

“This is all I could manage to find.”

You gasp as you turn to face her. She’s still smiling as she holds up the proffered item of dry clothing.

“You frightened me,” you state dumbly, huffing a quiet laugh.

“I did not mean to,” she replies.

“It’s okay.” You glance at the clothes in her hand, a frown forming on your face. “A… dressing gown?”

She makes a sympathetic face. “It was all I could find,” she repeats.

Her eyes dip down to your chest again. They flash, just like in the village, but you’re sure it could have just been the fire reflecting in them. You look down to see what she’s staring at and heat rushes up your neck. Your nipples are clearly outlined against the wet fabric of your dress.

“Oh,” you murmur as you lift your arms to cover yourself.

She clears her throat delicately. “Take this. You’ll get sick if you keep your wet clothes on.” She pointedly holds the dressing gown out to you again until you gingerly take it. “I’ll go get the kettle started while you change.”

“Thank you,” you return quietly.

When you’re sure she’s gone, you undress as quickly as you can, more shivers wracking your frame as you stand naked in her drawing room for a few seconds before pulling on the silk dressing gown, tying it securely around your waist.

While you wait you decide to get a better look of the room. A few paintings hang on the dark walls, but mostly they’re covered with floor to ceiling shelves and stuffed to the brim with books. You take notice of a few spots where the dust hasn’t seemed to settle in front of them, figuring those must be her favorites. A plush chaise sits in the center of the room with two chairs on either side, atop an ornate rug that rests on most of the floor. There are a couple small tables between the chaise and chairs with candelabras on them, and a wide, lower table in front of them. You spot a desk by the only window in the room.

There’s nothing particularly personal about the space. It almost feels as if she’s newly moved in. But you know that can’t be true, especially since so many people in the village have seen her visit town for years now.

A piece of parchment on the desk catches your eye. You debate over whether or not you should let your curiosity get the better of you, your feet slowly carrying you over to where the paper lay. There’s writing on the top piece, and you get as far as the addressed “Brother,” but then hear her round the corner and quickly back away.

“I wasn’t sure if you took cream and sugar, so I brought them just in case,” she tells you, setting a silver tray on the low-lying table that held the teapot and teacups.

You walk over as she pours the tea into both cups. You pick one up and carefully drop two lumps of sugar into yours, stirring it with your teaspoon until you’re satisfied it’s melted. A careful sip as you sit down and you hum happily.

“Better?” she asks, smiling and taking a sip of her own tea, sitting beside you.

It occurs to you suddenly that you hadn’t asked for introductions. You scold yourself internally, knowing you had better etiquette than that.

“I must apologize, I seem to have forgotten my manners. I never introduced myself,” you say, then offer your name. “And what is yours, madam?”

“You may call me Wanda,” she replies.

“Well, I owe you a great deal for helping me, Wanda. I cannot thank you enough.”

She waves a dismissive hand. “Please, there is no need. I’m glad I was here and that you aren’t in danger of freezing to death.”

“As am I,” you respond, laughing lightly.

Silence settles between you. Your mind whirls with hundreds of questions, but you don’t know where to begin. Your plan to find her only consisted of just that— finding her. Now that you’re here, you aren’t quite sure what to do. Or say, for that matter.

You can feel her eyes observing you like a caress. You struggle not to squirm or shiver, though you are no longer cold. No, there is no chill clinging to your bones anymore. Her stare alone provides enough heat. You chance a glimpse of her from the corner of your eye, but she catches it. She purses her lips to keep from smiling in amusement.

“So,” you blurt, cheeks pinking, “have you lived here long?”

You bite the inside of your cheek as soon as the words leave your mouth. Stupid, stupid girl.

Thankfully, Wanda laughs.

“Quite,” she says teasingly, like she’s letting you in on a joke.

You nod. “I see. Is it a family home?”

She tilts her head consideringly. “Of a sort.”

What is that supposed to mean? Miraculously, you don’t ask that question aloud.

“Do you… Do you live alone?”

You’re not sure why you ask. Perhaps it’s that you haven’t heard any other movement throughout the castle that indicated a waiting staff of some sort. Afterall, she was the one to fetch the tea.

“I do,” she says.

You don’t want to examine it too closely, but you’re positive you note a hint of longing in her tone.

“S’a lot of space for one person,” you muse in acknowledgment.

She nods. “Indeed. However, I’m sure I’ll find the right companion soon.”

You take another sip of your tea to avoid replying, but are not able to avoid meeting her gaze. The look in her eyes is something you’ve never seen directed at you. You’re hesitant to think it could be want, open desire. Not from a woman like her.

—

Wanda still cannot believe that you’d shown up at her door.

She’s spent months watching you from a distance, never allowing herself to be seen by you—not until she felt it was time. From the very first moment she caught sight of you, she knew. You are hers. Her mouth watered when the wind brought your scent to her. There was not a doubt in her mind about whether she would have you; she simply would.

She had waited, ever so patiently, watching you as you roamed the streets of the village. You didn’t seem to have very many acquaintances, if any at all, and you were always alone. Wanda quickly figured out that you were without a family as well.

Selfishly, she’d been happy about these facts.

Finally, Wanda allowed herself to meet your gaze. It was quick, but she knew her eyes flashed, knew that she piqued your curiosity. It would only be a matter of time.

After nearly two weeks had gone by, however, she had started to think it hadn’t worked. She’d planned on returning to town to purposefully cross your path again, but as luck would have it, you came to her. As soon as she heard the knock on her door, she smiled.

Now, as she sits next to you on the chaise, your skin glowing in the firelight, she finds it harder to maintain her control. This close, your scent is even more intoxicating. Wanda can tell that you’re curious about her. The questions you want to ask are swirling behind your eyes. And now that you’re here, she decides she’ll answer whatever you ask, give you anything you want.

You’ve gone quiet, though, so she does some prodding of her own.

“What were you doing out in the woods?” Dressed like that, blessedly, goes unsaid.

You shyly glance down at your lap. “I, uh, I like to take walks,” you mutter into your teacup as you go to take another sip.

Wanda hums. A plausible excuse, indeed. You carefully lean forward to set your cup and saucer on the table and when you sit back you move your hair over to one shoulder. Wanda’s eyes zero in on the pulsepoint of your neck. If she focuses hard enough, she can see your heartbeat throbbing beneath your skin. It makes her teeth itch, makes her control waver even more.

When she drags her gaze away from your neck, she finds you already observing her. Her desire is clearly reflected in your eyes and the feeling is heady.

—

“Are you warm now?” she wonders.

“Yes,” you whisper, your breathing picking up, making your breasts heave alluringly.

You’d go as far as saying you are overheating. The dressing gown, where you’d been unsure and embarrassed of being nude underneath it before, is now a blessing. Your body feels alight with an unseen, growing fire. Shifting on the chaise, you don’t notice the sleeve slip down your shoulder, only registering the air skimming across your collarbones. You let out a surprised gasp when you feel something cold on your bare arm.

Peering down reveals it to be Wanda’s hand carefully sliding the sleeve back up into place. Your brows pull together in a frown.

“Your hand…” you mumble, trailing off.

She lets it linger on your shoulder for a moment, then slowly traces down your arm, her thumb grazing the side of your breast. Your nipples tighten, thighs clenching together as you watch her fingers stop at your wrist. Though her touch is cold, it feels like a relief against the searing heat of your flesh. You peek at her through your lashes and find her expression to be one of complete hunger.

Feeling emboldened, you hold her stare as you shift to pull the sleeve down again.

Her lips lift on one side, her teeth glinting dangerously. “Are you sure of what you’re doing?” she asks.

You blink, faux innocence shifting behind your eyes. “I’m not sure I know what you mean.”

Wanda takes a deep, steadying breath, though it only helps in inhaling your scent more. She says your name. “Why do you think you are here?” The question catches you off guard. Wanda shifts even closer to you, watching your throat bob as you swallow. “We both know it isn’t because you accidentally got lost in the woods. You were out there with a purpose. What was it?”

You lick your lips, noticing her gaze immediately drop to them. It makes your heart pound in your chest.

“I don’t know,” you reply, unsure.

She leans in, her nose nearly touching yours. “You do,” she whispers, without doubt. “Why are you here?”

Your eyes flutter closed, head tilting back without you being aware of it, exposing your neck. You feel her presence mere centimeters away from you, her breath puffing out along the column of your throat.

“I… I felt drawn here. It feels like I was meant to be here,” you say, quiet, almost hoping she doesn’t hear you.

It feels ridiculous to say it out loud. It’s one thing to have that thought sit in the back of your mind where you could pretend it didn’t exist, but to admit it aloud is entirely different.

“With me?”

You shiver at her words, her lips having softly dragged across your skin. Helplessly, you nod.

“Are you afraid?”

That makes you frown, but you adamantly reply, “No.”

“Open your eyes,” she pleads.

You follow her instruction, wary, but gasp at what you see. Sharp fangs peek out from Wanda’s lips, her eyes so pale they’re almost white now. Though your heart continues to race, it’s not out of fear. It should scare you, it should send you running, but you find your hand slowly rising to carefully trace a finger down one of her fangs, amazed that she even lets you.

“You’re…” You start, meeting her patient gaze once more. “Beautiful,” you finish in a whisper, because she is. You go to reach for her face to stroke her cheek, but she lurches backward. In a blink, Wanda’s on the other side of the chaise. Disbelief paints her features.

“You think I’m… beautiful?”

“Of course,” you state plainly, brows furrowing. Wanda continues staring at you in wonder. “You said I was here for a reason.” Ironically, she’s now wary of you as you shuffle closer to her. “I know what that reason is now.”

“Which is?” she asks apprehensively.

“You,” you murmur, cupping her cheek. “I’m here for you.”

Wanda looks as if she’s scared to accept this, to hope for it to be real. You steal away those worries by leaning in to place a soft kiss to her lips. She inhales sharply, eyes squeezing shut, her cold hands gripping your wrist almost painfully. You give her a moment, kissing her forehead as she gathers her emotions, keeping her gaze down.

“Are you sure?”

Her voice cracks softly, but her grip on your wrist loosens as you move it. You lift her chin so she’s looking at you.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

She stares at your lips for a few seconds, and then, as your words sink in, they seem to send her into action. She surges forward and captures your lips, more sure, more eager than before. You respond in kind, pulling her as close as possible, sighing into her mouth.

You quickly find yourself on your back on the chaise, Wanda above you, bodies slotting perfectly into each other like lost puzzle pieces. You feel her hand slide down from where it was in your hair to graze along your sternum. Then her hand cups your breast, thumb swiping across your nipple, and you gasp. It’s the perfect opportunity to deepen the kiss and Wanda takes it.

Her tongue slides against yours and you whine, clutching at her like she’s the only thing tethering you to this earth. It becomes so easy to let her settle between your thighs, to arch into her touch and slide your tongue in her mouth, delicately tracing over her fangs. Wanda shudders, grunting inelegantly before wrenching herself away, panting heavily into the space between you. You blindly chase after her, opening your eyes in confusion.

Wanda’s gaze is intent on your neck, full of desire. The weight of the moment hits you, then. What exactly it would mean if you give in to her. So, with full faith in your decision, you tilt your head ever so slightly and she goes perfectly still.

“Go ahead,” you encourage.

She shakes her head. “You don’t know what you’re asking.”

You huff. “I do. I want you to do this.” You know she won’t look at you just yet, so you lace both your and her fingers together and squeeze hers as you continue. “I need you to do this.”

“If I do,” she starts, swallowing thickly, “I won’t be able to stop. You’ll end up like me.”

You duck your head to catch her stare. “And what’s wrong with that?”

She closes her eyes and falls silent for a moment. The weight of your words fall over the two of you like a winter blanket.

“I’ve waited so long,” she confesses, voice quiet, shaking and timid.

“For me?” you ask. She nods. “I’ve been looking for something, or someone, to make me feel whole all my life.” You use your free hand to stroke her cheek. Even with her eyes closed, she leans into you. “I’ve waited for you, too.”

When she finally looks at you, you know there’s no going back for either of you.

“It’s going to hurt,” she warns.

“That’s okay. It will only be temporary.”

She smiles then, slow and teasing. “I can ease the pain, you know.”

Her free hand tugs lightly on the ties holding your dressing gown closed, raising her eyebrows in silent question. You bite your lip and nod, shivering in anticipation. She undoes the careful bow you’d tied, easing it open and exposing your body to her hungry gaze.

If you felt heated before, you’re an inferno now. Her hands reverently map out every curve of your body. She leans down and plants a kiss above your belly button. It makes your stomach clench in want, but you make yourself lie there and take whatever she plans on giving you. Her kisses lead up your torso, until she’s eye level with your breasts, and before you can comprehend her movement, she’s taking one of your nipples into her mouth.

“God,” you whimper, head thrown back as you push your chest into her face.

“No,” Wanda giggles, “just me.”

You try to laugh, but it turns into a gasping moan when she pinches your other nipple between cold fingers. Your thighs attempt to close around her, yet it’s futile. Her free hand begins its descent down to the warm heat between your legs. Your hips buck into her touch, crying out when her fingers make contact with your clit.

“I’m going to do everything I can to make this feel good, okay? Let me take care of you.”

You nod quickly, your mouth going dry. When a single finger enters you, you forget how to breathe for a second, but then she’s sliding it out and back in, setting a steady rhythm, and you’re back to panting and whining. Only a few minutes later, though, you’re wriggling around, begging for more. She adds another finger and picks up the pace.

“Oh,” you gasp, your legs falling open wider.

Wanda buries her face in your neck, inhaling loudly, groaning. She licks across the skin there, nipping at you.

“Wanda,” you whimper.

“I know, my love,” she rasps. “You’re so close.”

Your hands have drifted above you, clutching at the pillows on the chaise, your hips moving in tandem with her fingers. Her thumb meets your clit, adding to the building warmth in your belly. It swells and swells, until finally, it has nowhere else to go and explodes within you.

You feel her teeth sink into your neck at the very same moment, and you can only yell brokenly into the air. Pain and pleasure war inside you, both white hot and searing, marrying themselves into a delicious and lethal combination. You can feel blood trickle down your throat, the same way you can still feel her fingers thrusting into you. It seems to never end and you grow limp beneath her, unable to handle the sensations flowing through you.

She finally slows, removing her teeth and licking over the wound. As her fingers slide free, she brushes your sweaty hair off your forehead with her clean hand.

“Sleep now,” she instructs, kissing you softly.

You can’t even attempt to argue, your body listening to her and promptly sending you into a deep slumber.

—

When you wake, before you even open your eyes, you’re aware of a few things.

To start, you’re no longer on the chaise. You’re on a luxurious bed, which is presumably Wanda’s. Your hearing is significantly better, as is your sense of smell. There’s a low thrum of energy coursing through your veins, like you’re on edge but don’t know why. But the more important thing you’re aware of is the feeling of eyes on you.

“I know you’re awake now.”

You crack open one eye and see Wanda smirking at you from the other end of the bed. You smile and sigh happily.

“How do you feel?” she asks.

You carefully sit up and stretch. You notice her ogling your still naked body and give her a smirk of your own. Shifting onto your knees, you crawl over the bed until you reach her and straddle her lap.

“Hungry,” you answer before grasping her face in your hands and attaching your mouth to hers.

With a force she hadn’t used before, she tosses you backward and is on top of you in a flash, a devilish smile on her tragically beautiful face.

“Good.”

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff fic #wanda maximoff fanfiction #wanda maximoff smut #vampire wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff #posting this and running

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trans-axolotl · 5 months ago

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this is a shortened works cited from my thesis, pulling out the sources about American intersex history and activism from the past 30 years. i have pdfs for most of the sources there, if there's something that isn't linked send me a message and i can try to find it!

just thought i'd try to put a lot of intersex history sources in one place.

Works Cited:

Amato, Viola. “The Intersex Movement of the 1990s: Speaking Out Against Medical and Narrative Violence.” In Intersex Narratives: Shifts in the Representation of Intersex Lives in North American Literature and Popular Culture, 55–102. Transcript Verlag, 2016. http://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctv1xxrsz.6.

Bauer, Markus, Daniela Truffer and Daniela Crocetti. “Intersex Human Rights.” The International Journal of Human Rights. 24, no.6. (2020):724-749.https://doi.org/10.1080/13642987.2019.1671354

Brown, Lydia X.Z., Erickson, Loree, da Silva Gorman, Rachel, Lewis, Talila A., McLeod, Lateef, and Mingus, Mia. “Radical Disability Politics.” In Routledge Handbook of Radical Politics, edited by A.J. Withers and Liat Ben-Moshe, 178-193. Routledge, 2019.

Cameron, David. “Hermaphrodites With Attitude.” Newsletter. 1994. https://isna.org/library/hwa/

Carpenter, Morgan. “Fixing bodies and shaping narratives: Epistemic injustice and the responses of medicine and bioethics to intersex human rights demands.” Clinical Ethics. 2024;19, no. 1. (2024) :3-17. doi:10.1177/14777509231180412

Chase, Cheryl. “Hermaphrodites with Attitude: Mapping the Emergence of Intersex Political Activism.” Journal of Lesbian and Gay Studies. 4, no.2, (1998): 189-211.

---, Hermaphrodites Speak! 1997; Rohnert Park: Intersex Society of North America. Video tape.

Cohen, Julie, dir. Every Body. 2023; United States: Focus Features, DVD.

Denny, Dallas. "Chrysalis Quarterly, Vol. 2 No. 5 (Fall, 1997 / Winter, 1998)." Periodical. 1998. Digital Transgender Archive, https://www.digitaltransgenderarchive.net/files/7s75dc39s (accessed April 08, 2024).

Davis, Georgiann. “Introduction: Normalizing Intersex: The Transformative Power of Stories.” in Voices: Personal Stories from the Pages of Narrative Inquiry in Bioethics: Normalizing Intersex, edited by James DuBois and Ana Iltis. 1-4. John Hopkins University Press, 2016.

Dreger, Alice. “Rejecting the Tranquilizing Drug of Gradualism in Intersex Care.” Alice Dreger (blog). November 2015. Accessed April 9, 2024. https://alicedreger.com/dsd_human_rights/

Dreger, Alice and April Herndon. “Progress and Politics in the Intersex Rights Movement: Feminist Theory in Action.” Journal of Lesbian and Gay Studies. 15, no. 2. (2009): 199-224.

Fausto-Sterling, Ane. Sexing the Body: Gender Politics and the Construction of Sexuality. New York: Basic Books. 2000.

“A Framework for Intersex Justice.” Intersex Justice Project. 2021. Accessed April 8, 2024. https://www.intersexjusticeproject.org/intersex-justice-framework.html

"FTM Newsletter #37." Periodical. 1997. Digital Transgender Archive, https://www.digitaltransgenderarchive.net/files/kd17cs89j (accessed April 08, 2024).

Hegarty, Peter, Marta Prandelli, Trove Lundberg, Lih-Mei Liao, Sarah Creighton, and Katrina Roen.”Drawing the Line Between Essential and Nonessential Interventions on Intersex Characteristics With European Health Care Professionals.” Review of General Psychology. 25, no 1. (2020): 101-114.

Hermaphrodites With Attitude. "Hey AAP! Get Your Scalpels Off Our Bodies! Flyer." Ephemera. 1990. Digital Transgender Archive, https://www.digitaltransgenderarchive.net/files/qj72p712h (accessed April 08, 2024).

“Hermaphrodites With Attitude,” Intersex Society of North America. 2006. Accessed April 8, 2024. https://isna.org/library/hwa/

“How To: Organize an #EndIntersexSurgery Protest in your hometown--a toolkit created by Intersex Justice Project (IJP.” Intersex Justice Project. 2019. Accessed April 8, 2024. https://webarchive.loc.gov/all/20191111232744/https://docs.google.com/document/d/1EgYy2jfSO04HF_FGv-8RXYEgWW422L-RB7oxMOaIiBc/edit

Hughes, Ieuan, Christopher Houk, Syed Faisal Ahmed, Peter Lee, and LWPES1/ESPE2 Consensus Group. “Consensus Statement on Management of intersex disorders.” Disease in Childhood. 91, no.7. (2006): 554-563. doi: 10.1136/adc.2006.098319

“I Want to Be Like Nature Made Me: Medically Unnecessary Surgeries on Intersex Children in the US.” Human Rights Watch. InterACT. July 2017, accessed April 8, 2024. https://www.hrw.org/sites/default/files/report_pdf/lgbtintersex0717_web_0.pdf

“InterACT Statement on Intersex Terminology.” InterACT: Advocates for Intersex Youth. 2015. Accessed April 8, 2024. https://interactadvocates.org/interact-statement-on-intersex-terminology/#:~:text=interACT's%20use%20of%20terminology%20and,of%20the%20term%20%E2%80%9Cintersex%E2%80%9D.

Lindhal, Hans. “Is PCOS an Intersex Condition? Here’s 5 Reasons Why Some Say Yes.” HansLindhal.Com (Blog). February 2023, Accessed April 7, 2024. https://hanslindahl.com/blog/is-pcos-an-intersex-condition

---., “9 Young People on How They Found Out They Are Intersex.” Teen Vogue. October 2019. Accessed April 10, 2024. https://www.teenvogue.com/gallery/young-people-on-how-they-found-out-they-are-intersex

“M.C v. Aaronson.” Southern Poverty Law Center. 2017. Accessed April 8, 2024. https://www.splcenter.org/seeking-justice/case-docket/mc-v-aaronson

Merrick, Ten. “From ‘Intersex’ to ‘DSD’: A Case of Epistemic Injustice.” Synthese 196, no. 11 (2019): 4429–47. http://www.jstor.org/stable/45220035.

Orr, Celeste. Cripping Intersex. University of British Columbia Press, 2022.

Pagonis, Pidgeon. “#EndIntersexSurgery Protest At Lurie Children’s Hospital Recap + 5 Ways To Get Involved.” Intersex Justice Project. 2018. Accessed April 8, 2024. https://www.intersexjusticeproject.org/blog/endintersexsurgery-protest-at-lurie-childrens-hospital-recap

Pagonis, Pidgeon and Sean Saifa Wall. “Open Letter to AIS-DSD Support Group.” EndIntersexSurgery. Intersex Justice Project. February 2018. Accessed April 8, 2024. http://www.endintersexsurgery.org/

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#personal #intersex #actuallyintersex #intersex history #intersex studies

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moonystoes · 5 months ago

Text

Camp Out! - Elisa De Almeida

(Final part)

Here: part 1, part 2, part 3

Summary: It's Camp out, and being in the same tent as Elisa isn't so bad.

Warning: none!

w/c: 9.6k

A/n: I promised you guys I will post the fic this weekend (I lied it's already 2 am), I have to be honest but I completely gave up on this chapter. I am so attached to y/n and baby Elisa, but this was so difficult for me. There were things I wanted to remove and edit, but I don't care at this point. I may make another chapter, but for now... it's over :,(

Days have passed since prom and your plan on avoiding Paul has been quite successful. It was the last week of school before winter break, and since you were the teachers’ favorite, you were asked to be working around the school all the time. Organizing papers, stapling the review papers, handing them out…things the teachers should be doing, And your job today is to take off the old prom posters from around the school. Usually you’d be frustrated and annoyed at the amount of work they put you through without paying you (child labor much?), but you were thankful and delighted for the extra school work given. Another excuse to avoid Paul.

You somehow found yourself humming that same song from prom, calmly ripping out the posters in the hallways. It wasn't until you heard an obvious fake, rough cough behind you. As you looked over to see if your annoying teacher had another chore for you, your heart sank when you realized it was Paul with a frown on his face.

“Hey, sorry but I really need to remove all of those posters.” You robotally said, twisting your body back and ripping out the small tape around the corners of the posters.

“Come on y/n, you’ve been busy this whole week, “ He groaned, resting his palm on your shoulder to turn you around to face him, “Just give me a minute.”

You sighed loudly as you pondered for a moment. Maybe you will gain confidence in this conversation and will make him leave you alone, “fine, just be quick.”

He nodded quickly and stood up straight. Inhaling deeply, he blurted out, “You embarrassed me in prom.”

“Excuse me?” You retorted, “what did you just say?”

“I mean… You left me alone. Prom wasn’t good because of that.”

“Paul, prom wasn’t good for multiple reasons. One of them was me agreeing to be your date.” You shrugged him off as you ripped out the papers from the wall. How dare he say something like that? You never snapped in school, in fact you rarely do in general. But you don’t care anymore. Not after the way Elisa treated you 10x better than him and she wasn’t your date. Hell, she wasn’t even your friend!

“What do you even mean by that? I was there! I didn’t run away and lied about going to the bathroom.” He spluttered, flailing his arms around him in frustration.

“Well if you were a great date, you…” you stammered, your confidence and anger has faded into worry. No matter how frustrated you are with him, you can’t make him angry or sad, the down part of being a people pleaser, “...would've noticed that I was sick. I had to go home.” You lied.

His brows furrowed in confusion, “were you actually?” He took a step closer to you, eyeing your body as if he would be able to see the sickness that way, “are you lying?”

Your face blushed at the thought of getting caught, “No! Why would I lie like that.”

“Because a friend of mine saw you walk out with another boy.”

A blush ran through your face as you looked down at the ground, too afraid to even glance at his doe brown eyes, “it wasn't a boy… It was Elisa.”

“What?” He gasped, flashbacks of the conversation both of you had at prom came crashing into him.

“No matter how much she dresses like us, she can never be us,” You turned to look at him in surprise, “imagine being a lesbian and trying to dress like us yet you get no dates.”

Your shock turned into anger, “Paul, what the fuck!” You couldn't believe he is your date, let alone your best friend as a kid.

The guys all laughed at what he said and how you reacted, Paul looked at you in shame and he tried to pull you away from the group.

“No let go of me! You can't just say stuff like that, it's rude.”

No way! Did you ditch him for her? That's exactly what he said would never happen. Did the lesbian Elisa actually just snatch his girl on prom night?

“Ehm… she noticed I was sick in the bathroom and walked me home,” You turned your front into the wall, shakingly ripping out the papers on the wall like how you were supposed to do in the first place.

“Well…I'm sorry. You should've told me about it.” He shrugged his shoulders as his eyes were filled with disappointment in you for not letting him know.

“You should've acknowledged me.” You whispered back as you walked away from that hallway, exhaling calmly knowing that conversation is over, not caring how insensitive your response may be.

It felt great knowing that whatever had happened between you over the years through childhood is now thrown out. You may have been heartbroken if you knew this at the beginning of the year, but it feels like a blessing to you now.

___

January 11th, 2013

Turning slowly towards Sammy, you mumbled, "Do you know what is going on there?” Class should've started 5 minutes ago, but the class was delayed by 3 teachers who were whispering at the door including the school principal.

"Yeah, it's Camp Out this Friday." Sam said in a duh tone. You hummed quietly, opening your notebook and writing the date quickly to prepare yourself for the new lesson. The teachers quietly left, leaving the History teacher alone at the front of the brightly lit class to start the afternoon.

"Good afternoon everyone. As you know, it's the beginning of the second semester and we have this tradition called ‘Camp out’." his hands fiddled with a stack of papers, folding them together and unfolding as he walks around the class.

"Told you." Sam stuck out her tongue quickly, before turning back to the front of the class.

"If you didn't know about Camp out, it's a tradition where the first year of high school gets a camp day for free! We will camp at the park, forest or whatever you want to call it. The one behind the school. We will provide food, movies, and games. But we will also sleep there. You will need to bring your own tents, sleeping bags, and anything you want.”

The students turned around, already discussing to each other what they should bring and do. You glanced at Sam to plan the day, but her long hair covered her face, and she played with her nails as always.

"Hey! I'm still talking. It will happen in three days, this Friday. You will go to school like normal. And instead of going home at 4, you will stay here. We will move to the park and build our tents, and stay there till 10 in the morning of the next day. We will provide dinner, snacks, and breakfast. Then your parents or guardian will pick you up on Saturday morning. When we sleep, we will split the area in two. One for the boys and one for the girls.”

"Is Elisa sleeping with us too?" A loud remark came from the left side of the class. You knew it was Paul, especially after the conversation you had around three weeks ago. He had been very harsh towards Elisa, before it was small remarks to his friends, but now it's more than that. There was a certain jealousy brewing in him after knowing how she was there to help you instead of him when you were ‘sick’ at prom. Laughter erupted from the class, making you frown at him and glance at Sammy as she shrugged.

You awkwardly shifted to the back of the class where Elisa sits with Fleur and Marie. Even with the loud chatter of the class, Elisa was staring at her empty table, fiddling with her pen. She was clearly lost in thought, her body drowning in an oversized gray hoodie. When you looked at the rest of the table, you caught Marie’s eye. Realizing she caught you staring at Elisa, you flinched and turned back immediately to the front of the class.

"Paul, try thinking of something creative next time." Mr. Nick glared at Paul, angry at the unwanted interruption. "There will be 5 teachers with you guys, and we will be awake at all times to make sure none of you do anything inappropriate, I know you guys are responsible enough to not do it.”

He took a deep breath, walking around to pass the consent forms. Since you and Sam sit at the front, you were the first to receive them.

"Will you go?" Your eyes quickly skimming over the words.

"Absolutely not." Sam joked, ripping the paper in half. You gasped, turning to look at the torn paper on the table.

"What the fuck, why?" You furrowed your eyebrows together at the mess, "oh my God it's literally 5 minutes into class and you're already acting up.”

"You think I'm acting up? Imagine how these boys would act at 2 at night. I'd rather jump off a cliff.” her head turning towards the boys’ tables, their voice looming over the class. “Look at that, they're already planning what they'll do to us when we sleep.”

“...what will they do to us when we sleep?” You hesitantly questioned, face flinching away from Sam knowing she'll probably start blabbering again.

“Are you crazy? What rhymes with grape?” She whispers shouts, her eyes glancing back at Xavi, the creepy kid of the class.

“Oh Sam, you can't just assume something like that!” You gasped at her accusation. It is true, Xavi was a complete weirdo to all the girls, but bringing up a big topic like that wasn't right. “Don't worry, I'm sure nothing will happen around the teachers and the girls.” You reassured her.

“Oh yeah, because Elisa's big, juicy, arms will save you from the bad guys.” she mocked, her body leaned closer to yours with a wink.

You looked back at the clean whiteboard, wishing to disappear. “Fuck off Sammy.”

Sam's cackle was loud enough for some of the students nearby to glance, making you kick her foot under the table and praying that Elisa didn't hear what she said.

Sam had been making jokes about Elisa after the prom conversation, she wanted you to feel relaxed around her and admit your crush. But you had made an obvious mistake (Sam knew this was a step closer for you to admit it), when you walked around the school’s football pitch at lunch on the first day of school after winter break.

You were watching the small matches played by the students when you surprisingly saw Marie on the sidelines. Knowing that she loves and plays the sport, you sat next to her with a bright smile and questioned why she wasn't there playing with the rest, and obviously her response was about the sexist boys. When you looked back at the pitch, you found Elisa between the boys. She clearly couldn't care less about what the boys were saying. She wore a sleeveless basketball jersey showing off her arm tan lines, and shorts long enough to reach her knees. It was obviously too cold for her to be dressed like that, but the afternoon sun and playing had helped warm her up.

The harsh sun caused her body to shine with sweat and caused her short hair to stick to her forehead. But what made your heart start to race is when she pushed Paul with a physical tackle, grass flying around them from the impact. Paul was grunting in pain on the ground, waiting for the whistle to blow. But Elisa wasn’t groaning in pain, she instead immediately pushed herself up from the ground, making her biceps bulge.

The boys called out for a yellow card, but all Elisa did was laugh at them and remind them of their comments beforehand about ‘girls being too weak to play football with them’. You quietly stood up and smiled at Elisa for fighting for her spot. You knew it was difficult for girls to argue with boys like them, and Elisa doing it shows her passion for the sport.

Elisa saw you smiling in the corner of her eyes, and when she turned to look at you completely, her face turned crimson red. She bit her lip and turned back to look at Paul on the ground, feeling a small sense of victory. Yes, I won her over.

You weren’t aware that Elisa had thought about this moment for too long too. It was unusual to see you acknowledge her, and she had begged for something to happen between you ever since the walk after prom. Seeing your beaming smile because of something she did made her brain shut down for a second. Especially after what happened at prom, she’s worried if she’s reaching for an inaccessible relationship.

Sam knew about this new fascination of Elisa’s arms in class that day, when you nudged her quickly and subtly gestured to Elisa with your head when she walked past the both of you to her seat. She gave you a confused look, mumbling a small ‘what’. But you pointed at your bicep, flexing your weak arm to show her what you meant. She turned around to glance at Elisa's arms for a second and turned back to look at you with a disappointed glance, making you shyly shrug with a simple ‘her arms are stronger than all of the boys here’.

And from that day, Sam has subtly brought up Elisa's arms in every discussion you have. At first it was funny, but nowadays it causes you to panic, feeling horrified at the idea of her knowing about your crush.

“Each tent will have four people in them, there are enough students for four tents for boys excluding James since he’s on a trip now, but for the girls there is an extra girl. One of the groups will have to compromise and let her join, okay?” Mr. Nick's close voice caused you to jump out of your seat, waking you up from the daydreams again about elisa.

“Sir, I'm not going.” Sam raised her hand, causing you to glare at her.

“Perfect. Y/n, why don't you sit with the Powerpuff girls at the back.” His hand rested on your shoulder, one of the disadvantages of being his favorite student and sitting in front. You gave him a soft nod at his reassuring smile, bending down to pick up your bag.

You glanced back to Sam, whispering quietly, “I can't believe you're making me do this alone, we'll talk about this later.”

“You're sleeping with Ms. Buff arms, have fun.” She whispered back with a cheeky smile and a subtle wink, causing you to stop packing and gape at her for a second. You had completely forgotten about what all of this is for, realizing that out of every girl group in this class it's with them. You didn't have a problem with either Katoto and Fleur. But when it comes to Elisa, you cannot be sleeping in the same place as her.

You sighed audible, taking your backpack and walking to the back of the class. Grinning at Fleur and Marie as you sat in the empty seat of the four-seat table.

“Hey,” you whispered in the middle of the table, letting them know you've sat with them since both Marie and Fleur were sneakily on their phones and Elisa doodling on her notebook. Elisa hummed at your approach, not even glancing at you.

“I’ll bring the tent.” Fleur said looking up from her phone, glancing at you and the girls. You breathed out, at least one of them isn’t ignoring you and actually looked at you from them.

“Guys imagine bringing snacks and staying up all night? We have to do that!” Elisa suddenly gasped, she grabbed Marie's bicep since they were sitting next to each other. “Fleur, what type of snacks do you want?”

You felt a sudden energy of sadness in you, not used to the feeling of being left out. You knew she was not purposefully trying to ignore you, but it felt like shit. Your mind kept reminding you of her Facebook post, that all of the things both of you went through (which isn't much…and you knew it), was all friendly. And she doesn't think you are pretty enough for her to talk to you.

“I don't care, sour patch kids and cheetos but you can bring the whole store and I'll eat anything.” Fleur shrugged, her fingers awkwardly tapping on the table.

“I can get the snacks.” You finally spoke out, voice slightly cracking when Elisa looked into your eyes across from you. You turned to your left to check on Fleur, and she nodded with a satisfied ‘okay’. Elisa shrugged, writing on her notebook ‘snacks’ under your initials.

“I'll bring the sleeping-bags… I already have four from family trips.” Elisa awkwardly mumbled, writing the things she needed under her name.

“Make sure Alex didn't shit on them, I don't want to take his.”

“Hell no I'm taking mine, you either take my parents’ or Alex's.”

“Fleur, take Alex's, imagine what her parents did on theirs.” Marie covering her face from Elisa with the palm of her hand as she ‘attempted’ to wink.

“Ew weirdo, they're literally divorced.” Elisa moved her body so she could see Marie’s face, but what she didn't realize is that she got really close to you by propping herself on the table with her hands, and sitting on her knees so she could move freely around the table and look at Marie. You panicked and pushed your seat slightly back, making Fleur notice and glancing at you for a second before turning back to them, “what are you gonna get?”

“I don't know… I'll get board games! Like Uno or something.” She exclaimed until she saw Elisa's disappointed face, “Okay fine I'll think of something else.”

The table went quiet, you looked around waiting for someone to say something. But Elisa just folded her arms on the table and rested her head on them to sleep.

You sighed as you look at the list,

“Elisa - sleeping bags

Fleur - tent

MAK - games?

Me - snacks Cheetos, sour patch kids, and anything”

While Elisa was sleeping, you kept glancing at her grown hair. You can't look at her for too long, or else you might end up having a meltdown. It bothered you that for the first time you had an actual crush, she doesn't even think you're pretty. A deep frown was stuck to your face, and you didn't care if Fleur, Marie or everyone in class noticed. All you wished is for her to see you the way you did.

Elisa wasn't sleeping, she did try to take a nap but her head kept distracting her. And the thought of you sleeping next to her is suffocating her. Would you wear a silk mini dress? Or a silly mickey mouse pjs? It doesn't matter, because she knew she would be a blushing mess no matter what you were wearing.

She was also thinking about what Marie and Fleur are gonna do. She knew that they liked playing risky games, what if they put the both of you together for seven minutes of heaven? Or dared you to kiss? They wouldn't do that. No way, right? What if when you watch a movie they force you and her to cuddle? She can't let them know the effects you have on her, because they would definitely try and set them up together.

“Eli stop being depressed, it's literally your birthday.” Fleur groaned out, reaching her hand to mess up Elisa's hair.

You glanced back at Fleur and then looked back to Elisa. Eli? Wait… maybe Fleur is the pretty girl she was talking about in that post. Or maybe they're just friends. You gave Samantha nicknames all the time! Sam, Sammy…it could be a friendly gesture, not a flirty one.

But your mind was lost, and the idea of them both going to prom reminded you that whatever relationship you want with her is never gonna happen…not when Fleur plays her hobby in the same academy as her and touches her hair and body all the time.

Elisa, or Eli, looked up with a fake animated pout, “stop… I already know you're gonna do something once we go training.”

Marie's head was pushed back from laughter, “should we put glue in her deodorant this time?”

“Ew! what the fuck?”

“I saw that from one of those DIY pranks on youtube.” She shrugged, tears rolling from her eyes looking at Elisa's horrified face.

You didn't say anything, feeling ashamed at not doing anything for her birthday. In your defense, you didn't know. But there was still guilt at the thought of bringing nothing for her.

You were also feeling flustered, not at the gift part, but at the feeling that started blooming in you when looking at Elisa that way. The pouty face, the panicked, and the frustrated expressions. Even if Elisa was ugly crying with snot going down her mouth, you'd still be blushing. It was a lot for you, too much in a span of 5 minutes. It didn't help that Elisa's hair had grown and now looks like a bird's nest from Fleur's hand.

Fleur tugged Elisa's hand, “we're not gonna do that, we will probably get kicked out of the academy.”

Elisa shut her eyes and sighed loudly, “thank the lord.” Making the whole table softly giggle and go silent.

It was awkward, maybe for you only. So you took a risk, “Happy birthday Elisa, sorry I didn't get a gift…I didn't know until now.”

She looked up from her scribbles to you and gave you a small smile, “no worries, I'm not really expecting one from anyone in here anyways.”

“I'm pretty sure we can do something on camp day, right girls?” Maybe you can get her something on Friday, “like a mini party at night? Unless you guys have to sleep early for football, of course.”

Fleur looked at the girls at the table, having a silent conversation with their eyes only. Your hands were starting to feel clammy. Oh God, what if they're talking shit about me? What if I sound so desperate now?

“That's a cute idea, sure!” Fleur smiled at you, she looked back at Elisa, now having a suspicious face and glancing at everyone around the table, “we don't have training on Saturdays, we have a match on Sundays though. But it's okay, they're always in the afternoon or evenings so we don't have to wake up early.”

You turned to look at Elisa, but her eyes remained on Fleur next to you. Take a risk, you reminded yourself, it worked last time.

You tapped her hand making her turn to look at you, “don't worry, no pranks. Just a small birthday party.” You gave her a smile.

Elisa looked at your eyes, it had been long since she had actually tried to maintain eye contact with your eyes (she was clearly blind not to notice the struggle isn't one-sided), her cheeks turned slightly pink, enough for you to smile even larger, “Ugh, thanks. I just want you to know that you really don't have to do all of that.”

“Why not? You know, in some places like Mexico and Latin America, they celebrate the 15th birthday like weddings! It's called quinceañera. They invite a lot of people and wear fancy dresses. It's sweet, and I know I don't have to do it, but I want to.”

Marie's eyes were wide as she gave a knowing look to Fleur, the table remained quiet for a few seconds as the both of them were communicating with their eyes.

Elisa was not just pink, she was red as a cherry now. She let out a giggle at what you said and just gave out a shrug, knowing if she tried to say something it would either be dumb or just a long minute of stuttering.

For the first time, it wasn't embarrassment or awkwardness that was filling you from this silence, it was hope. Hope that maybe there could be something that you can make from the relationship, especially after Elisa's blushing mess.

After a minute of praying that all of this would end, Elisa's prayers were answered when your teacher asked for everyone to move back into their seats.

When you sat back down next to Sam, she turned to look at you with a knowing smirk, “how was it?”

“Did you know it's Elisa's birthday today?” You quickly asked her, turning your body now to the front of the class since the lesson will actually start.

“No, are you doing something for her?” She asked, hoping you'd say something that will make her ‘theory’ true.

“Not now, but in camp I'm gonna get her something. What should I get her?” You remained facing the teacher as you replied.

Sam smiled, holding in her laugh, “I don't know…maybe football boots?”

You thought for a second before shrugging off what she said, “no, they're too expensive and I don't know her shoe size.”

“Hmm…I don't know, we'll figure it out later.”

You nodded at what she said before continuing writing the notes.

___

Your father sighed quietly when he saw the bill, “all of this? A cake? And a… what even is that?” He took a sip of the dark cup of coffee he had, staring at some old romcom show on TV.

“It's for the camp out thing, I told you before me and mama left,” You glanced at his distracted face, glad that the show is making him less angry than how he would've reacted without it. “It's a mini cake! For my friend's birthday. And that thing is a bracelet set, so I can make jewelry.” You calmly spoke out.

“Ugh fine, just let me know when you buy the whole store next time.” He groaned out, shrugging you off with his hand.

“Thanks, love you.” You bent down and kissed his head, running off to your room to pack your things.

You grabbed a gym bag, something your mom abandoned for years. And started filling them with essentials, pads, underwear, your hello kitty pj's that you weren't embarrassed by, some emergency products in case anything happened.

You brought another bag for all of the snacks, making sure the cake box is placed on top so it doesn’t get mushed. Turning around your room, you opened the bracelet making kit and stared at the beads. Would Elisa wear a bracelet? They aren’t a very feminine thing, and you were sure if you used masculine colors she would be okay with it.

The problem is that you were not sure if she would accept it from you. You weren’t close with her, why would she wear something you made her? She doesn’t even wear any jewelry in the first place! You rolled your eyes as you groaned loudly, dropping your body backwards on your bed. You knew you were overthinking it, but you really wanted her to like you. It felt like elementary days, where the kids would buy gifts for their classmates to gain a friendship.

Deciding to make her a black and white bracelet, the colors of a classic football and it was not ‘feminine’, something Elisa has avoided throughout the whole school semester.

After thirty minutes and an intense back stretch, you were finally satisfied with the product. You placed it in a small velvet bag, writing a small note in it that says ‘happy belated birthday, I don’t know if you like wearing jewelry like these, but I hope you would like this.’ You also decided to take the bracelet kit with you there too, maybe Marie or Fleur would want to make some at midnight.

___

It was already Friday, all of the students abandoning the teachers as they excitedly planned their evenings together. You were standing in the office, where the class kept their Camp Out equipment before classes started. It was already 4pm, and now you were meant to be moving to the park. You were shyly staring at your group, too scared to approach them. But Elisa turned around and spotted you, giving you a small wave so you could go there.

You grinned, giving her a wave back as you carried your three bags; your backpack, gym bag, and the beach bag that was filled with the snacks, “Hey, I brought everything here.”

Fleur turned to glance at you, “oh hey, thanks by the way.” She bent down and carried your things to the corner of the room.

“Oh, you don't have to do this. You're still injured!”

She shrugged you off, “don't worry about it.”

“Alright, let's move from the back door, walk across that football pitch, and go on that sidewalk.” The counselor called out.

You went down and carried your backpack, grabbing the other two heavy bags when Elisa's hand stopped you, “I got it.”

“You are already carrying 2 sleeping bags, it's okay.” You argued, but before you grasped the handles Elisa was already lifting them.

She turned to maintain eye contact with you, “It's fine.”

You nodded and followed the teachers. You were a few steps ahead from the other girls, but you were able to hear what they were saying.

“Yo, look at her back,” Katoto laughed out loud, “Elisa trying so hard to look strong.”

“Shut up!” Elisa whisper-shouted at both of the girls giggling. It was obvious that she was struggling with carrying the bags, but she wanted you to think of her as a strong girl.

You bit your lip, holding in the giggle that almost came out of you. The walk was long, and the bickering between the girls did not stop.

“Elisa, you're so strong, please come carry my things for me.” Fleur fake-groaned, obviously mocking Elisa's posture.

Marie was already in tears by now, clutching into her stomach from the pain. Elisa hoped that you couldn't hear any of the things they're saying or else she'd just die. But by the way your shoulders were vibrating, she knew that you had been laughing with them.

When the class reached the empty field, you went to the right side (the girl's section) and placed all of your things there. You looked at Elisa's red face, “thanks…you didn't have to carry all of them.”

Elisa threw everything roughly on the ground, her shoulders and back too damaged to care about the safety of the products inside your bag, “oh no…I'm fine.” She nodded towards you, twisting her torso and trying to stretch the pained muscle on her lower back.

You giggled seeing her like this and nodded back, going over to Marie and opening the big tent bag. While trying to stabilize the tent edge into the ground, you saw a shadow crouch down next to you, “Hey y/n… you can have my sleeping bag tonight.”

When you turned to look at your right, your face blushed at how close she was. Her eyes were burning yours, trying to see a reaction of discomfort from how close she is to you. But she found none, other than a slight shaky breath and pinkish cheeks.

“Are you sure? It's yours.”

Elisa placed her shaky hands on top of yours, tightening the fabric of the tent into the ground when she realized it was loose, “I can sleep in my mom's or dad's… I feel like it would be inappropriate of me to just give you theirs and not mine.”

“What about Marie and Fleur?” You asked, glancing at the both of them adjusting the other corners.

“Pfft who cares about them, they can sleep on the ground.” Elisa shrugged them off, making you laugh.

“Wow…I'm sure they would be disappointed at your loyalty.” You sarcastically gasped.

Elisa smiled shyly, getting closer to the point where your shoulders were sticking to each other, “oh please…our relationship is just us bullying each other.”

It was a minute of silence between you guys, the both of you not wanting to leave the other. It was until Fleur groaned out as she stood up, looking at the both of you ‘adjusting’ the corner and giving Marie a suspicious nudge.

Marie looked at the both of you and winked at Fleur, “guys let's put the things inside!”

The both of you quietly sighed in disappointment, standing up and grabbing all of the bags inside and organizing the place.

“Wow you brought all of these snacks?” Fleur gasped as she looked through the beach bag, “wait, what is that?”

She pointed at the cake box, “shh… that's Elisa's birthday cake.”

Fleur nodded as she got closer to the cake, “what flavor is it?”

“Chocolate with vanilla frosting,” You responded, “I felt like Elisa would like that…no?”

Fleur remained silent for a second before turning to look at Elisa, “Hey Elisa, isn't strawberry your favorite cake flavor?”

You huffed out and turned the other way, I guess she didn't hear me when I said ‘shhh’, you looked at Elisa as she gave Fleur a disgusted look, “ew no what the fuck?”

Fleur rolled her eyes in annoyance, “oh come on, is it too girly for you?”

Elisa glared at Fleur, “no it just tastes like anything but strawberries.” She laid down the sleeping bags in order before adding, “chocolate is my favorite, I thought you'd know this.”

Fleur turned and gave you a surprised look, “wow I guess y/n knows Elisa more than us.”

It was obvious Fleur was teasing the both of you, and the way Marie was smirking on the side didn't help Elisa's panic. Was her attraction that obvious? What if you think it's gross the way they're joking?

There was a moment of silence, Elisa glaring at both of her friends while you organized your stuff on the corner. A shadow came by the tent door, “Girls go out, we have some tasks for you!”

Marie gaped at the door, “I thought this camp was supposed to be fun!”

“Stop complaining and go out now!”

“Okay, miss!” You yelled out before rolling your eyes. Today is going to be a long day.

----

“Here is your pizza.” Elisa placed a cheese pizza next to you and sat there. You stopped touching the small cut on your toe and looked up, “hey, thanks.”

Elisa nodded, looking at the bloody toe you have, “I will get you a bandaid once we go to our tents, okay? I can clean up the cut too.”

You felt your cheeks turn hot at Elisa’s gentleness towards you. Instead of responding to her, you just gave her a shy smile and bit into your pizza.

Fleur and Katoto sat further away from the both of you. Usually, they would get jealous and frustrated at how Elisa is basically ignoring their existence. But you were an exception, especially when this is the first time they see Elisa this way with anyone. As well as, seeing you have a crush on someone… someone that’s a girl and their bestfriend.

Elisa wanted you to see her as a responsible person, someone that can help you whenever you need it. She carried your stuff, made your sleeping ‘corner’, helped you walk when you tripped over a rock and hurt yourself, gave you your dinner, and now offered to clean up your cut. She just hoped that it wouldn't overwhelm you, and maybe you’d realize that she is just an annoying, clingy person that doesn’t understand boundaries.

But you never complained, only looking down and avoiding eye contacts with a sheepish smile. There was some hope, that maybe you’d actually see her the way she sees you, and maybe you actually like girls. That’s a thought Elisa is currently trying to avoid, too afraid to hurt herself the more she thinks about it.

You took a few bites from the large pizza slice before turning to Elisa, “Hey… I got you a mini gift,” You placed your left hand into your pocket and pulled out the mini jewelry bag, placing it delicately into her palm. “I hope you like it.”

She smiled shyly as she tightly grasped it, “you didn't have to get me a gift.”

You avoided eye contact while taking a bite, “I know, but I wanted to.”

“Guys if you're done, get your pajamas and go back to the school building to change,” one of the teachers yelled out, “there are lights around the school so it won't be too dark.”

You turned to look at Fleur and Marie, signaling with your head if you should go now or wait. They nodded and slowly stood up, their legs too sore from sitting for too long.

You placed your left palm on the ground to push yourself up, but you saw Elisa standing up and reaching out for your hands. Everything was overwhelming you, she was too gentle and sweet with you. And it horrified you to know that all of this can be a friendly gesture, that all Elisa wants is some pretty girl that definitely wasn't you.

The group walked to the bathrooms with their clothes, Fleur and Marie changed in the same cubicle, claiming that they're making more space for others who want to change. Elisa went to one alone while you did the same, getting slight deja vu from the first week of school.

You were out first, braiding your thick long hair. Some of your other classmates were also in the restroom with you, so you decided to have a chat with them while you waited on the others.

“Augh fuck guys,” Elisa groaned out from her cubicle. Opening the door slightly with pink cheeks and a shameful look.

You looked worriedly, stepping forward to check if she hurt herself on something. But she shied away and hid herself from the door, “Hey Elisa…is everything okay?”

“Umm…yeah, I just got my period I guess.” She muttered weakly, too embarrassed at herself for not tracking the days or even bringing something with her.

“It's okay…do you want pads or tampons? I've got some stuff.” You whispered back, it's obvious she didn't want the others to know about it.

“Can I get a tampon?” She asked, opening the door slightly so you can hear her better.

But you froze, you didn't want to admit it but she looked precious this way. You thought that you've been strong this whole day, but seeing her vulnerable in front of you made you feel weak in the knees.

You nodded quickly, going to your bag and pulling out one. You rushed to the cubicle and handed it, “I'm gonna do something, just meet me at the tent, okay?”

She gave you a soft smile in gratitude and nodded, before shutting the door.

You took a heating bag from your never-ending bag and decided to go to the school kitchen, hoping it would be open and whoever is in there would allow you to use some of the equipment.

When you got in, you noticed one of the janitors. Thankfully, she was a sweet old lady that loved you. When you told her what happened, she gave you an understanding glance before pouring hot water into the bag you had.

When you reached the tent, you noticed all of them sitting in a circle. They were whispering into each other, and it seemed as though Elisa was embarrassed and frustrated with what they were saying. When she saw you at the door, she sat up, “she's here.”

“Hey guys, I had to go to the kitchen for this.” You raised the bag, and delicately gave it to Elisa.

She placed it on her lower stomach, croaking a small ‘thank you’. She was worried if you heard their previous conversation, since it was about you. Fleur and Marie were making comments about how Elisa ignored them the whole time they were here. Even when they were watching a movie, Elisa was near you in some way. That's how she came and helped you out when you fell, the memory of her catching you is still vivid in her mind, your body felt so soft in her arms.

“Let's play truth and dare!” Fleur jumped to the ‘trash’ corner and grabbed one of the empty bottles.

“Nope, I'm not playing.” Elisa moved away from the group, going to her ‘corner’.

“Oh come on, what's wrong with playing this?” Marie groaned loudly, going over to Elisa to pull her back into the circle.

You were still standing by Elisa's now empty spot, too shy to sit down. What if they didn't want you to play with them?

“I know what you guys wanna do, and I'm honestly not in the mood for all of this.” Elisa snapped, slapping Marie's hand away from her, “especially now.”

You turned the other way, pulling out some book from your bag to read. You felt shame all over you, it's obvious that she doesn't want to play with them because you're around. You didn't understand, she was attached to you all day, and now she doesn't want to play with you?

Marie smacked Elisa’s hand again, pointing discreetly at your discomfort. She leaned into Elisa and whispered, “you’re making her feel sad…she thinks you don't want her to play with us.”

“That’s not why I don’t wanna play.” Elisa whispered back, watching you as you read some romance novel in your hand.

“But that’s what she thinks,” she tapped Elisa’s shoulder before going to the middle of the tent with Fleur. The both of them are curious on what Elisa would do to make you join.

Elisa groaned internally, she has been too affectionate with you this whole day. Would you be grossed out by her admiration and gentleness?

She slowly walked up to you, “hey… do you wanna play with us?”

You glanced up to look at her, “umm…if you want me to play with you.”

Elisa’s heart broke when she heard your voice crack from insecurity. She didn’t mean for this to happen, she just didn’t want to scare you off from Fleur or Marie’s questions, “of course we want you to play with us…c’mon.” reached out her hand for you to grab, and she felt her muscles relax when you placed your soft hands on hers.

When you both sat in the circle, she was next to you. Marie smiled at you, happy that you accepted to play with them, and spinned the bottle. It awkwardly stopped when the cap was pointing at Fleur, “hmm…truth or dare?”

“Dare.” Fleur responded confidently, folding her arms on her chest.

“Okay…I dare you to like the first 5 posts of the first person that pops up on Facebook.”

Fleur glared at Marie, turning on her phone to see who would pop up, “Oh my God no…it’s my uncle. He’ll be so confused on why I’m liking posts from 2007.”

After many rounds of playing, Fleur’s bottle stopped at you. “Truth or dare, y/n?”

You paused for a second to think, considering the previous dares, you settled for truth.

“Umm…do you like Paul? We promise we won't tell.”

“We're loners anyways we don't have anyone to tell us to.” Marie added, trying to make you more comfortable with them.

You remained silent for a few seconds, avoiding their eyes -especially Elisa's, “No, I don't like how he treats Elisa.”

Elisa perked up when she heard what you said. Flashbacks from prom night came crashing into her,

“I don’t care about him.” You gulped the water and threw the paper cup in the trash.

“Did he hurt you?” She stepped closer to you as the loud music was making it difficult for her to hear you. But your flustered state made you step back, “no, he just said something rude about someone I care about…”

Was he talking about her? Did you care about her that much?

Elisa's cheeks were too pink to be ignored, Fleur smirked and decided to ask you another question, “so before Elisa was here, did you like him?”

You were still a little shaken at the question, “I don't think so…maybe a small crush I guess. I think I just missed our friendship more, since we knew each other since we were kids.”

They nodded, before agreeing that they should stop playing truth or dare and find another game. You were already exhausted, so you made it clear that you'll just head to sleep.

“But it's only 11,” Elisa pouted at what you said, disappointed that you won't get to spend time with her.

You were cleaning up around the sleeping bag to save up time from tomorrow morning. You peeped next to you and saw Elisa sitting there, “Hey again,”

She smiled at your voice and gave you a soft ‘hey’ back.

“I guess we should just talk before sleeping, yeah?” You teased her, feeling happy that you have company before sleeping.

“Yeah… I guess I wanted to just tell you that,” she paused, too lost in your eyes, making the conversation difficult for the both of you, “...you don't have to avoid Paul because of what he's doing to me.”

You frustratingly shook your head, “no Elisa. He's rude and annoying, I don't like people like that,” you looked down at your hands as you whispered the last part, “I just want a sweet, gentle…person who wouldn't mock or laugh at people”

Elisa nodded in understanding, before leaning down to meet your eyes, “Okay…I get it.”

You were grateful at the comfortable atmosphere you guys have, but a question was running in your mind as you bit your lip in thought, “Hey Elisa…I have a question,”

Elisa heard your timid voice, scooting closer to you to the point of your shoulders touching, “Yeah?”

“I know you like women,” you admitted quickly, looking at her eyes to see if there is any discomfort.

She grinned before replying, “one, that's not a question. That's a statement. Two, I think everyone knows that.”

You exhaled slowly when you realized she isn't uncomfortable with you knowing. And a slight blush came into your cheeks as you realized that she does like girls. Elisa likes girls! “umm… I didn't want to assume! After prom, I felt guilty for making you walk home alone so I went into your Facebook to check if you're okay and found a post that said something like… ‘I wish I knew how to talk to pretty girls.’... I guess I just connected the dots.”

Élisa's eyes widened, “wait…my Facebook account isn't private?!”

You quickly shook your head, mumbling a quick ‘nope’.

“Oh… I guess I have to change that. But oh well,” she shrugged on the last part.

Elisa can see you stare at her, and a feeling of panic started rising in her chest.

“Did your barber go on a holiday or are you trying a new haircut?” You joked, pointing at Elisa's longish hair now. It was covering her forehead and swooped to her right.

She laughed at what you said, raising her hair to make sure it looks neat, “I wanted to try something new.”

“It looks like Justin Bieber… you know the haircut. I don't know about the voice.”

She gave you a fake offended look, before replying, “well…do you think Justin is cute?”

You bit your lip in thought, “no…blonds aren't my thing.”

Elisa's eyes were locked with yours, she was starting to breathe heavily. Something in her is telling her that this conversation isn't just a random one, it means something. “What about brown haired people?”

Swallowing your spit before subtly biting your lip teasingly, “you mean brunettes?”

Elisa embarrassingly nodded, hoping that she doesn't look desperate waiting for your response.

“Brunettes are my type, yeah.” You gave her a grin, waiting for what she would do next.

“Good,” Elisa responded, involuntarily moving her hand to play with her hair again, “what about eyes?”

You blushed deeply, “I like brown eyes…soft and sweet to look at. Sometimes blue or green eyes are just too…sharp? Harsh? I don't know.”

Elisa hummed in agreement, turning her body slightly to glance at Marie and Fleur. She wanted to signal to them that maybe something is happening between you guys. But both of them were too busy playing Uno.

“Who do you find pretty, Elisa,” you breathed out, making Elisa turn to look at you in a flustered state, “what's your type in girls?”

Elisa clenched her jaw tightly while thinking. What was she supposed to say? That you're exactly her type? “I like brun- brunettes too. I like girls that are soft spoken and delicate, that care about others,” she was lost in thought as her fingers were playing with your bracelet, “long hair…I like it when they have long hair.”

You on the other hand were trying not to scream or run away. You didn't want to think highly of yourself, but that sounds like you right? You distractingly reached out for your long braid, waiting for Elisa to stop playing with her fingers and look at you.

When she didn't, you decided to ask her another question, “how did your parents react?...I mean if you came out.”

Elisa turned to look at you, “I didn't have to come out. I've always been this way,” she scratched her neck, “I mean… I never had long hair, always wanted to do the same thing as my brother. And I also had this obvious crush on a girl in my class when I was like 5 years old, they knew all about it.”

You nodded, “I can't imagine you with long hair.”

Elisa laughed, “I can't imagine myself with long hair, it would be a disaster.”

“So…are you bisexual, or a lesbian?”

Elisa eyebrows furrowed, how did you even know these terms? They weren't something you hear a lot in public, “I can't ever like a man…they're just ‘eh’.”

You giggled before scooting closer to her, “Okay.”

Elisa thought for a moment, “why do you like boys?”

You shrugged with a pout on your face, “I don't think it's a choice you know. But for now…I don't like any guy.”

Elisa's body physically relaxed as she exhaled. Hearing that you don't like a guy right now made her feel hopeful, “Well…who from the class is the closest to your type?”

You rolled your eyes before crawling to the door and zipping it open, “I wonder what are they doing right now,” you stuck your head out, the cool wind making the small baby hair around your head fly. Elisa pulled the tent door more open to stick her head next to you too.

From the dim lights of the school and the moonlight, a slight shadow was seen from the ‘boys’ side of the pitch. It was clear the boys were wrestling, so Elisa made a joke, “wow, they're fucking already?”

You gasped loudly as you gaped at Elisa. She guiltily looked away from you with a quick, “sorry.”

You cackled before staring at the shadows again, “you know what? They're already shirtless.”

Her body relaxed near you and continued staring at them, “Ugh, they're so gross.”

“I don't even understand how they're shirtless in this weather.” You shivered at the thought of being naked in the weather.

Elisa turned to look at your thin t-shirt and whispered to you, “are you cold?”

You looked down at your shirt, “oh no…I'm fine.”

Elisa can read the lie in your face, she rolled her eyes as she started to remove the black jacket she was wearing over her plain gray shirt, “I can see you y/n,” she handed it to you, “it's January I don't know what you were thinking.”

You groaned in embarrassment, “they said this January would be hot! That's why they moved Camp Out to today…it was usually in March,” you wore her jacket, “it seems that I'm always cold around you.”

“And I'm always there to warm you up.”

You blushed as you shifted your body to face her, she smiled and did the same as now the both you were right in front of each other, “feeling cold isn't the only feeling I have around you.”

Elisa's eyes widened, she hopes that maybe you're referring to romantic feelings. She leaned in closer, looking deeply into your eyes, “what feeling?”

You sighed as you leaned in closer, “Elisa…you know it.”

Elisa smiled in satisfaction, internally thanking Mr.Nick for placing you in her camp group, “what? Feeling sad?”

You rolled your eyes, “no.”

Elisa sarcastically hummed in thought, getting closer to you as your foreheads were touching, “what feeling?”

You let out a huff, it's either now or never. Your eyes fluttered close and you leaned in to kiss her. Elisa barely felt your lips, it was obvious that you were nervous. But even with the softest touch, Elisa's eyes were automatically shut close as she exhaled from her nose.

You leaned back before muttering, “I hope that shows you what feeling.”

Elisa's smile was bright, she got closer to you before whispering, “I think I need more to clarify.”

She leaned in and captured your lips, this time it was a firm kiss. Elisa placed her palm on the back of your neck as she tried to deepen the kiss, but you shyly backed away.

Elisa would've felt offended if she hadn't seen your flustered state, she kept her hand on your neck as she waited for you to speak.

“Sorry…that was my first kiss, I got nervous.”

Elisa smiled in understandment, she knew the feeling too. Her reddish cheeks and shaky hand on your neck showed everyone around her that she was struggling to keep calm.

“It's my first kiss too.”

There was a moment of silence as the both of you were smiling at each other. You shakenly placed your hand at the back of her neck, softly tugging and playing with her hair.

Elisa's eyes closed as she sighed loudly, “I thought for the longest time that you didn't like me,”

Your brows furrowed in confusion, “what? How?”

“...you were talkative to everyone but never talked to me.”

Elisa's insecurity was shown from her timid voice. You frowned in disappointment, “I never meant it that way…I guess I was too shy around you.”

Elisa lightly cuddled her head onto your shoulder. She was too shy to face you after the kiss, “Do I make you nervous?”

You lightly slapped her head, “dude you literally just said that I talked to everyone except you.”

Elisa gasped as she fake-glared at you, “don't ‘dude’ me!”

You sarcastically rolled your eyes and pushed her shoulder away from you, “whatever, I’m going to sleep now,” you covered yourself under the sleeping bag and closed your eyes, before whispering “goodnight.”

Elisa had a beaming smile, she leaned closer to your silhouette and gave you a soft kiss on your forehead, “Goodnight y/n…I don’t think I can sleep after this but I’ll try.”

With a soft smile, you fell asleep almost immediately. It felt like a heavy weight just dropped from your shoulder. Everything is different now, and you knew it too. You didn’t know what would happen in the morning or how things would work out with her, but it didn’t matter right now. The feeling of Elisa’s lips was still lingering on yours, and if you licked your lips you’d be able to taste the vanilla chapstick she always uses.

Elisa remained sitting next to your sleeping bag, she was heaving quietly from the shock of everything. Is this a dream or a joke? The idea of you being gay and liking her is making her internally jump in joy. She turned to Marie and Fleur, but the both of them were gaping at her. Fleur had a smirk while Marie had a look of disgust.

Elisa speed-crawled to the both of them, grabbing the Uno cards from their hands and shuffling them, “did you guys see that?”

“Yes?!” Fleur exclaimed, she smacked Elisa’s arm in a joking manner, “I can’t believe she’s gay…and she kissed you!”

“Shhh… guys I’m panicking, what am I gonna do?”

“Take it slow, we have around 4 months before the summer…If you’re not so annoying, you guys can date and when we have the U-17 tournament, she can come there with us and be like Victoria Beckham…absolute WAG.” Marie made a gesture with her hands for the girls to see the vision. But Elisa slapped them away, “You’re thinking of that summer tournament while I’m thinking of our first date. Marie, you’re so fucking useless oh my God.”

“okay…Elisa calm down,” Fleur intervened, she glanced back at your sleeping silhouette, “Eli…not to ruin your mood, but who says she’s gay? This could be some sort of phase or an experiment for her since you’re the first masculine girl she probably ever saw.”

Elisa’s smile dropped at what Fleur said, “That can’t be…she kissed me first.”

“Okay? She might be confused with her emotions.”

Elisa sighed loudly as she dropped her face to her hands, rubbing her face roughly, “It’s okay…we’ll take it slow. And if she doesn’t like me that way, she can tell me.”

Fleur gave her a tight-lipped smile and pulled her in for a hug, “yeah, that would be great.”

#sorry lol its kinda shit and long af #if there are mistakes dont correct me im too tired and fed up to care #elisa de almeida #woso x reader #elisa de almeida x reader #nel's writings #woso #nel recommends fanfiction #elisa de almedia fluff #woso community #woso fanfics #woso imagine #wlw #women football #women's football #football fanfic

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