#lenaraine

[lonely-goblin-with-a-jar-of-dirt]

"A Round Eye?!"

Song: "Creator" By: Lena Raine

Bill was not told that other beings in this dimension has eyes like him...Wait, Bill look out! <3 Happy October, hope yall are doing well, haveing a great Hispanic Heritage month, making the most of it, And remember You're Vaild & You Do Matter.<3

[kidmachinate]

Making Peace With a Part of Me

My therapist is a sweet lady. She tells me things I know but won’t acknowledge fully. There’s this part of me that might as well be its own separate person, that I sometimes see in the mirror instead of the person I know I can be and mostly show to others. I can take a defeatist attitude. On good days, I just joke around how my memory just doesn’t work. Except it isn’t a joke. I genuinely in games or otherwise can’t remember how I got from point A to point B more often than I’d like to admit. Having it together in life doesn’t mean I’m not without feelings. Sadness. Despair. Depression and anxiety. They suck. The “Part of Me” that I’ve learned to work with. My “Badeline” persona of sorts.

Unforeseen circumstances have taken place and my sessions may have to be put on hold. This doesn’t mean I can’t reflect on what I’ve learned. How far I’ve come. How it is very much okay to be not okay. What’s not okay are the eyes that look over us all and tell us things must be a certain way or no way at all. It’s a closed minded view of things and helps no one. It is highly insensitive as so much more than I even realized, isn’t quite as black and white as we’d like to believe. I want to address a few things and this will likely come out as crude as possible at times, for the sake of both transparency, and perhaps make some of the misunderstood out there more comfortable.

My faith in humanity is...questionable. Lots of moments I shake my head at but I try to give people the benefit of the doubt first. Respect isn’t “earned”, it should be granted from the start. Expect the good from one...until they prove otherwise...and this is where I slip fast. I’ve given very little leverage here at times with others, which is good for the ones who seek not to help themselves. Too much leverage however gets you into trouble. It led to tragic moments I’ve referenced on here before but that’s in the past. We need to be compassionate because it’s one thing to just get shit done. I’m all for that. Not always easy though. America likes to avoid mental health because it’s scary or people are ashamed. Perhaps not just America but even with people more open about all this, it is still a joke to many. We should be more focused on strengthening mental health education than blaming video games. Seeing the good in people is both a blessing and a curse and I’m trying not to buy too much into the negative side of that. In becoming more self-aware however, I’m trusting my gut more. Ignoring what is true to you is the way to slowly start losing your mind. It’s not a place I’m going back to.

I’m good at avoiding people it seems, but it isn't something I always want to do. What if I say the wrong thing? What if I look like crap? What if I get judged for what I wear? What if I say the one wrong thing that ruins a great friendship or relationship? Should I REALLY be that concerned to begin with? Probably not. This is me however. While I stay away from others, in part lately, this is for legitimate self-care purposes. Us introverts need to recharge and all that. However...while I may seem at times like I kinda hate people, I do LOVE connecting people. Community efforts. Getting people chatting about stuff that matters or that I like, even if I don’t fully understand it. I’ve had my thoughts of being a therapist of sorts but I dunno...think it might break me. I can bring help/hope to people in my current ways but not on that kind of scale. Absorbing emotions and such, better at a level where I can manage it and am not forced into it. Forced into it...hmm...

You know what really fucking sucks? Being forced to do literally anything. I can decide myself dammit. Except for when I can’t. That sucks. But I should be allowed to go through that process on my own. Not mocked when I don’t instantly give an answer. How about...if I don’t give an answer, just assume no? Silence is a response too. A powerful one at that, depending on situation. I get we are in a age of instant gratification but anything worthwhile in life requires work. Work which we all need to do to live. Work at times also however, does involve working on ourselves with or without the use of meds and/or a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist. Depression and anxiety are one thing. Combining that with feeling mostly understood by many is another. If there’s a personality disorder involved however, things can get even more complex. Being curious about what makes people tick always has me looking for perhaps why someone acted a certain way. Now of course if they keep just being a jackass or selfish, you can introduce them to the book your foot wrote...or just tell em to fuck off. Me however...ever heard of the INFJ doorslam? People that have gotten it haven’t come back. No regrets.

You know what else sucks? Having to force yourself out of bed because you feel like a legit piece of shit. But hey...gotta work in the morning, right? The machine mentality kicks in...but then who are you if everything is just on autopilot. The machine mentality however puts me in gear to do all the stuff I’m used to. Being responsible. Adulting. I’m convinced the only reason it is “easy” (sort of) for me is because I’m used to doing much of this alone. Alone. That always sucks to realize, eh? But I’m consistently telling people they aren’t alone. I don’t want people to feel like I do at times, or other can and will do to themselves on a bad day. How can you help others if you can’t help yourself? Um...I just...do? The shit happens. Don’t ask me how tho. Depending on the day, I won’t be able to tell you.

The balance between being the light at the end of the tunnel and a defeatist attitude is a daily struggle. Depression sucks for me and it has gotten worse. Anxiety is not as big a deal but I’ve also found out what a panic attack is like multiple times this year, so there’s that. When it hits is hits. Just gotta be ready to roll with the punches. Music, gaming, and seeking mental health knowledge/help helps with that. Knowledge is power...unless it is clickbait or ACTUAL fake news. No one needs that crap. Social media...that can be crap. I took a break for a weekend. It was nice. Try it sometime. You’d be amazed at the results.

How can I put a voice out there when my own shit isn’t together? Maybe that’s the point. Maybe that is part of the vision to begin with. I’m still figuring it out. Many still are and just not admitting it. The second you think you know it all you’ve lost in life. That and I don’t want to talk to you. You and the horse your ego rode in on can go off a bridge.

One more thing on this digital pad. Love. The word gets tossed around too much to even determine what it means but it is also one of those things without question. I prefer the spiritual connections. The ones with more understanding and less explaining. When you do explain, it is understood. Judgment free zone. Funny from a INFJ, eh? It's possible dammit!

It's okay to not be okay. That's what we need to tell our bad selves without letting it consume us. Is that it? From from it...but I'm working on ways to express the good and bad in more positive manners. Until then, reach out if you need help. Always. Don't you dare go hollow.

[oathkeeper-izzy-blog]

One of the best soundtrack ive ever had the pleasure of purchasing, This game AND soundtrack helped push me through troubling times. ❤ . . . . . #Celeste #CelesteGame #Soundtrack #Vinyl #Record #ClearVinyl #IndieGame #LenaRaine @kuraine https://www.instagram.com/izzy_smp/p/BxbGI-HlIvi/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=17wywbca1mxwk

[eversonpoe]

b-day gift from @alxvx / now playing: lena raine • celeste original soundtrack • 2xLP on clear #vinyl • #lenaraine #celestegame https://www.instagram.com/p/Bs3Qa-ogZD6/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=11l15n350vs7r

[unnoticedgenius]

Eevee the Gamer: Celeste

(CONTAINS SPOILERS.  Just so you know.)

I’m back!

Yes, I know it’s been a while.  Yes, I know I should update more regularly.  But I’m afraid life has kept me quite busy.

However, in that time, I thought of a great side section of this blog where I can work on reviewing games I think need more attention, which I’ve decided to call Eevee the Gamer!  (I’m super subtle, right? ;)

For today’s Eevee the Gamer I’ve chosen to review the videogame Celeste, which is one of the most difficult and rewarding games I think I’ve ever played.  I’ll link the creator’s website below so you can investigate further on your own, but for those who don’t know, Celeste is available on a number of platforms, including Nintendo Switch, XboxOne, Playstation 4, and Steam.

The basic plot of the game (summed up Reader’s Digest style) is that the main character, Madeline, climbs the mountain Celeste and along the way makes friends, enemies, and discoveries about the mountain’s incredible powers and her own mind.

What makes this game unique is that Celeste is not simply a game where you climb up a mountain.  Celeste is a game which brings you into the mind of someone who struggles with a mental illness; Madeline, as is revealed throughout the game, struggles with major anxiety, depression, and panic attacks.  As you play the game, you are brought into Madeline’s mind through the mountain’s magical powers; you face her fears and have to fight through the mountain (quite literally in some places).  Each level grows more and more difficult, and with the increase in difficulty comes an increase in emotional attachment to Madeline–and the rest of the cast.

In terms of a simple review, Celeste is challenging and rewarding, with a great storyline, unpredictable twists and turns, and some of the most perfect music to accompany such a storyline.  It has both difficulty and accessability with the Assist Mode, which enables the player to essentially change the difficulty so that she can access the game in the way that works best for her.

But I want to say more.

Everyone in the world needs to play this game.  People who struggle with a mental illness need to play this game so they can see that there are ways to deal with these illnesses, to know they are not alone.  People who don’t struggle with a mental illness need to play this game so they can take a glimpse into the mind of someone else, to recognize that these are very real and very dangerous struggles.  Celeste isn’t a game worth passing over just because it’s hard or it doesn’t feature RPG-style battles or slash-‘em-up techniques.  This is something everyone needs.

I’ve always been a gamer.  I played Ocarina of Time when I was a kid and that, to me, summed up what a good game should be: not too hard, accessible to everyone, with a great storyline and music, and a satisfying ending.  Celeste is everything a good game should be, but more than that, it addresses an issue that’s becoming bigger and bigger in our society today: how do we deal with mental illnesses?  Do we try to cut them out of our souls?  Do we take heavy medication to make the pain go away?  Do we try to fend it off unassisted without ever saying a word to anyone?  What is the answer to a mental illness?

Celeste, true to its style, enables the player to extrapolate that answer for herself.  After a Part of Madeline (referred to as Badeline) escapes from an enchanted mirror near the bottom of the mountain, Madeline does everything she can to run away from or destroy Badeline, and in doing so, she puts herself and her newfound friends into serious and very real danger.  Trying to escape or hurt Badeline she faces does nothing to help Madeline, while the creepy-looking Badeline claims to be helping while doing everything she can to stop Madeline from climbing the mountain.  In the end, Madeline realizes that she cannot destroy this Part of Herself.  She must unite with it.

It is then that Badeline begins to run rather than chase, and Madeline must capture her.  When she catches up, Madeline recognizes, for the first time, that Badeline is frightened.  That she wants to run away from everything that’s difficult or dangerous.  And it is only then that Madeline can make true progress up the mountain; she and Badeline work together to climb the mountain.  Their success comes as a united effort between Madeline and her anxiety.

This, I feel, is what makes Celeste a great game, and a worthy purchase for anyone and everyone.  Madeline doesn’t destroy her anxiety in some magical or self-esteem building way; she uses her anxiety to become a stronger, more whole being.  Mental illnesses cannot be banished.  They cannot be destroyed.  They must remain inside our minds, and it is only through learning how to work with our illnesses that we can truly become whole.

HOWEVER.  If someone with a mental illness finds that medication or other safe methods of coping are helping him/her manage the mental illness, he/she should not give those up just because Madeline was able to survive without them.  That’s my caveat: don’t give up on things that work if they’re working now.  But if you don’t have something that helps you cope yet, consider a playthrough of Celeste as an aid to learning to cope.  No videogame or blog post can be a doctor or psychiatrist; if you have need of help, get it now.

That’s something else Celeste does; it shows that those with mental illnesses are benefited by kind, caring, and compassionate friends.  Madeline becomes friends with another traveler named Theo, who-between taking selfies and cracking jokes-creates a compassionate connection that Madeline is able to derive strength from.  Their friendship is one of the greatest things in Celeste; Theo is able to help calm Madeline during a panic attack and stays patient with her through the whole game.  He supports her in whatever efforts she chooses to make and is available when she needs to talk to him.  To those of you who know someone who struggles with a mental illness: be like Theo.  Be compassionate.  Be patient.  Support your friends in their struggles.  They need you more than they know how to express, and your patience with them is a kindness they can never thank you enough for–and they’ll probably thank you a lot between saying sorry for being an inconvenience to you.  Don’t ever put down their struggle or say it’s only in their head.  Remember, they need you more than they can say.  Your friendship is a precious gift to them.  And understand that even when they’re busy apologizing for the umpteenth time that they’ve caused you any trouble or discomfort, they love and appreciate you more than words can express.

On top of the game’s already incredible story, Celeste’s composer (Lena Raine) created a perfect score that matches each moment in the game; the soundtrack that accompanies Celeste is perfect for highlighting the difficulty and pain Madeline is going through.  I’m not well-versed in music theory, but I know what music feels like, and that’s the best part about this soundtrack.  Every piece is a perfect companion to when it occurs in the game; the track that plays during Madeline’s first (in-game) panic attack displays that terrible feeling so well that I was getting anxious and nearly had a panic attack myself while playing.  That is no easy feat for a composer, but Raine did a perfect job in writing music that would stir these feelings in people.  From Madeline’s panic attacks to the moment she becomes one with Badeline to the climax of the story, each piece of the score is a perfect reflection of what is happening in the story and brings out the feelings the characters are experiencing.

Celeste deserves a hundred stars (out of ten) for its gameplay/storytelling/immersive experience.  For me, Celeste was a fully-immersive game that reflected pains and struggles in my life.  I struggle with bipolar disorder; some of the side effects for me have been increased anxiety and occasional panic attacks.  But in some ways, the game hit too close to home for me; I would get frustrated and anxious while trying to beat the levels.  There came a point where I couldn’t continue to progress (and the game was only available to me for a few weeks), so I turned on the assist mode.  Assist mode made Celeste more accessible to me, because it removed the barrier my own illness had created.  For my brother and my sister, the game was perfect the way it was; neither needed assist mode the way I did, and my sister struggles with social anxiety.

One of the greatest things Celeste has done is highlight a brand-new facet of videogaming that I’m not sure has ever been fully considered before: gaming for awareness.  This game is more than a game and shows that there’s a whole new world of videogame storytelling available for creators to use.  Celeste has a perfect balance between gameplay and story and uses both to raise awareness of an issue that millions currently face.  If you haven’t played Celeste yet, give it serious consideration and don’t miss an opportunity to learn–or to share it with your friends so they have a chance to see inside your mind.  To admit that, to ask them to share in your struggle, might feel awkward or even painful; however, we need our friends.  And we need them to understand what we’re going through.  There is no challenge in the world that isn’t made worse by trying to face it alone.  We can’t succeed alone.  There may be times where we have to stand alone, but in those times, we should know that there are friends behind us, friends who believe in what we can do.

Please.  If you’re a gamer, if you’re not a gamer, if you struggle with a mental illness, if you don’t have any trouble with mental illnesses, consider purchasing and playing through this incredible game.  Its story highlights the painful and challenging life of a person with a mental illness, and that story is one everyone needs to be aware of.  We all need to be part of this discussion–and the solution.  For the hardcore gamers in the world, this game will challenge you–maybe not at first, but with the progression of each level, things only get more difficult.  For the non-gamers out there, assist mode is available to make the game accessible so you can experience the story without wanting to throw the controller away every time you fall down.  Buy this game; it’s worth every penny.

Eevee the Gamer’s rating for Celeste: 10/10.

http://www.celestegame.com/

[superbs-blog1]

Finished the final B-side in #Celeste and then I got this ***SPOILERS*** on the second screen. I think I might do it. #superbsgamescast #videogames #nintendoswitch #platformers #lenaraine

[awesomeredhds02]

redheadsdownunder

red head balayage 🔥 @lenarainer

#redheadsdownunder #ranga #rangaland #redheadlovers #redheadsaresexy #redhair #redheadselfie #rangaselfie #redheadsofinstagram #rockitlikearedhead #redheadbalayage #rangas #redheadsaremykryptonite #redheadedbeautiesoftheworld #theworldneedsmoreredheads 👩🏻‍🦰

[surnativa]

When you Nether Update (Pigstep music video) An animated (kinda) Music Video for th... #surnativa #animatedmusicvideo #fanart #lenarain #lenaraine #minecraft #minecraftanimation #minecraftbastion #minecraftfanart #minecraftfmv #minecraftmusic #minecraftmusicvideo #minecraftnether #minecraftsong #netherupdate #netherupdatesong #newminecraftmusic #piglin #piglinking #pigman #pigstep #pigstepanimation #pigstepmusicdisc #tubapiglin #tubapigman #zloyxp Source: https://surnativa.com/when-you-nether-update-pigstep-music-video/?feed_id=29938&_unique_id=5f58e3048356e

[soundtracktracklist]

Lena Raine - video game composer #Celeste #LenaRaine #gamemusic #videogames #ost #soundtrack #composer #musician Lena Raine (also known as Lena Chappelle) is a video game composer who is best known for her music for the video game…

[uporotaya-masiania]

@Regrann from @lenarainer - "Здравствуйте, я Леночка и я ограниченная)) Просто я никому не нравлюсь, все ВС лайкают😹 #2016bestnine #2016 #ой #вадимсамойлов #рыжиефильтры" )))) #АгатаКристи #агатакристивсехиты #фанАЦЦКИЕфотки #агатакристилучшее #вадимсамойловновое #большелайков!

[aratalatam]

Prescription for Sleep: Celeste

New Post has been published on http://arata.lat/prescription-for-sleep-celeste-2/

Prescription for Sleep: Celeste

Scarlet Moon Records ha anunciado Prescription for Sleep: Celeste el cual ya está disponible en las principales tiendas de música digital.

Este volumen es co producido por la compositora Celeste Lena Raine y cuenta con una intérprete adicional, la violinista Maiko que se une a GENTLE LOVE, un dúo compuesto por la compositora de la serie Metal Gear Solid / Bayonetta,  Norihiko Hibino en saxo y el pianista Etrian, Odyssey / PersonaQ, AYAKI interpreta la música en un estilo relajante.

El álbum también tendrá una edición física de edición limitada en CD, que incluye un cómic, portada y estuche decorado, así como stickers de Maximo Vitaly Lorenzo.

El pase de diapositivas requiere JavaScript.

“Mucho de lo que escuchas en la banda sonora original vino del impulso del momento, sintiendo una emoción y dejándome conducir “, refleja la compositora y coproductora LenaRaine. “De esa misma manera, siento que Hibino- san y GENTLE LOVE aprovecharon ese mismo flujo creativo. Tomaron lo que escribí y sintieron su camino a través de sus propias interpretaciones de esas mismas emociones y sentimientos. Es una cosa emocional escuchar esa reinterpretación y, a través de esas actuaciones, sentir una especie de comunicación fuera del tiempo, en todos los idiomas, en todo el mundo. Los artistas y yo nunca nos hemos encontrado cara a cara, pero siento que hemos tenido una conversación. Han escuchado mi parte, han contribuido con la suya y me siento renovado al escuchar el resultado de ese diálogo musical. Realmente amo lo que hemos logrado crear aquí, y espero que lo disfruten también“

El disco puedes comprarlo o escucharlo en BandCamp.

Fuente: Scarlet Moon Record

[eversonpoe]

b-day gift from @alxvx / now playing: kuraine • singularity EP • 10” blue translucent & black marble w/white splatter #vinyl • #kuraine #lenaraine https://www.instagram.com/p/Bs3blHBgqE4/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1ed6l3p4r1yzy

[uporotaya-masiania]

Хз, саунд-чек это или уже #ГорячийКанцВС, но ракурс нестандартный: #видсзади #самыйдружныйколлектив #TheBestAssOfRussianRock #ВС_Тамбов_19ноя17 #ВадимСамойлов #АгатаКристи #Концерт #Тамбов #дкЮбилейный Instagram-story by Lena @lenarainer https://www.instagram.com/lenarainer/ (at Дк Юбилейный)

[uporotaya-masiania]

#ВСамойловВидео by @lenarainer - Роман (: 🥁 #ближе #вадимсамойловтур #передавайбутылкувиски #ВСновое_Калуга_26апр17 #ВадимСамойлов ex #АгатаКристи #ВС_Тур #Калуга https://www.instagram.com/p/BTXuGwABWN5/ (at АРЕНА КТЗ)

[uporotaya-masiania]

#ВСамойловВидео by @lenarainer - Звезды пьяные смотрят вниз 👀 #нековервертолет #вадимсамойлов #самыйдружныйколлектив #сказочнаятайга #череповец #ВС_ВремяКолокольчиков_апр2017 #фест #ВремяКолокольчиков #ВремяКолокольчиков2017 #АлександрБашлачев #СашБаш https://www.instagram.com/p/BTOFsgPBnhI/ (at Ice Palace (Cherepovets))

[uporotaya-masiania]

Видео by @lenarainer - Мимо радуги 🌈 @master__ra 🤘🏼 #АлександрРадченко #ВСновое_Тюмень_06апр17 #ВадимСамойлов ex#АгатаКристи #самыйдружныйколлектив #ВС_Тур #Тюмень #дкНефтяник https://www.instagram.com/p/BSkfrKVh-3y/