#lena x kara fic

[natalievoncatte]

There was a knock at Lena’s door, and it startled her awake. She was awake, but also wasn’t, sitting in a side chair beside her sofa with a glass of whisky still in her hand, loosely held by tired, nerveless fingers. It nearly fell from her palm when the sound jolted her from the twilight between fitful wakefulness and falling asleep sitting up. By her side was that goddamn picture, the glass still cracked. She grabbed it and forced it down so she didn’t have to see her grinning face, feel the ghost of a warm soft cheek lightly grazing hers.

The whisky made a fiery stab at her heart as she finished it and went to the door. She already knew who it was, the only person who’d dare disturb her at this hour, and who could get past her security.

Kara stood in the hall, clad in fluffy pajamas and disbelieved, tracks left by hot tears still cut into her soft rosy cheeks. There she was, the pretty little crying princess again.

It was an act. It was bullshit. The real her was hiding behind it, standing tall, appraising Lena’s faults with eyes that could burn mountains, the cold judgment of an extinct empire carved into her godlike, inhuman beauty. Lena made herself see that, refused to let her guard down.

“What, Kara?”

“Can I come in?”

Lena didn’t even answer. She began to close the door, only for her movement to be arrested by a single word.

“Please.”

Part of her made her stop. She seethed against it, hated it. She had carved icy knives of vengeance to carve it out herself. Alcohol had failed to drown it and the sharpest logic was dull against it. It was both too hard to crush and too soft to squeeze, this hateful thing that coiled around her heart and made her feel when she had sworn never to feel again.

Kara took a halting step forward. Lena threw out her palm and pressed it into her chests, stopping her.

She shouldn’t have done that. There was something heady and intoxicating in it. Kara froze in place, and Lena could feel her pulse along her collarbones. The pinnacle of alien might, strength so vast that nothing could stand as her equal, and she stopped from Lena’s lightest touch. That was power.

“What do you want?”

“Just to talk.”

“I’ve heard your apologies. Don’t waste my time unless you have some new material.”

Kara licked her lips. “Maybe.”

They couldn’t stay like this. Resting a hand on her chest had too many possibilities. Touching her had too many implications. It would be so easy to let the soft thing win and bring her hand up and hold her palm to that soft cheek and seek to balm those tears, make it better, care.

She let herself remember that Kara’s pain was a shoeld for Supergirl’s judging wrath and pulled back, but she didn’t close the door. Kara did as she slipped inside.

Thee was a heavy pause of silence, where Kara just breathed, soft and ragged.

“Why are you here?” said Lena.

“I needed to see you. I needed to know you’re safe.”

“Nightmares?”

“Worse,” said Kara. “It was so much worse.”

The agony in her voice shook Lena.

Forcing herself to composure, she poured another three fingers of single malt and flipped into her chair, extending neither drink nor invitation to Kara. The drink was a bad idea. It was dangerous. The smokey, hazy heat of it burned the soft bitter taste of regret from her teeth. Lena didn’t look at her.

“It was the imp.”

“Excuse me?”

“It calls itself Mxy. It says it’s from the fifth dimension but I have no idea if that’s true or not. All I know is that it has vast powers, even godlike. The last time it… it tried to force me to marry it.”

Lena knew what darkness in her birthed the hot rage in her gut, the possessive jealous fury that welled within her at those worse. This thing, how dare he.

She took a drink.

“It… he came to me tonight and said he wanted to make amends. He offered to let me change the past. I could fix whatever I wanted.”

“Hmm. Must have been a trick,” said Lena. “Let me guess, restoring Krypton had some ironic Twilight Zone twist.”

Kara blanched, blinking. “No, I… I didn’t even think of that. I asked him to help me fix us.”

There is no us, Lena began to say, but the words died on her tongue. She washed the taste away.

Something in her twisted, a cold shiver like a water dumped over her head. She knew Kara’s bullshit super senses would pick up on it and steeled herself.

Rubbing her arms, Kara paced.

“I tried telling you at different times, so you’d hear it from me and not Lex or someone else.”

“What happened?” Lena said, trying to look more interested in her whisky than the answer.

It was purely an intellectual curiosity, she told herself.

“You died,” Kara said, blunt. “You died every time.”

“How?”

Every which way. Reign killed you five or six times. Mercy blew your brains out all over my chest. Lex… Lex could be creative. Poison, blades, fire once. He was fond of sadistic choices and clever tortures. Say, use red wavelengths to negate my powers and set up a sadistic challenge I could never pass, that sort of thing. It got so bad I stupidly wished I’d never met you.”

Her voice was ragged, breathing uneven. Fresh tears glittered on her cheeks and Lena felt herself lunge, start to stand. Kara’s pain called out to something in her, something beyond the physical or even the emotional. It was like something in Lena’s soul yearned to stop that terrible pain.

“The worst was when you drowned. Almost.”

Lena looked away, swirled her drink.

“Sounds like you kept trying.”

“I did. The timeline where we never met was one of the worst. I wasn’t there when your chopper crashed. Your mother… you tried to kill me and I couldn’t even fight back.”

“Is this where we segue into the ‘I would never hurt you’ lecture?”

“No. I did hurt you. I deserve your hate. If someone else did to you what I did, I’d snap their neck.”

Lena flinched. There was something cold in that admission, something brutal and beyond even Supergirl. Raw.

None of her rules matter for me.

A tiny voice in that darkness whispered to her: And if some poor bastard locked her in a Kryptonite cage the way you did, they’d be begging you for death. They’d know you’re a Luthor.

Lena shuddered.

“What do you do?”

“I kept trying. I thought… I felt… I had to keep trying.”

“Well, you gave up and came here eventually. You…”

Kara swallowed hard. “It thought it worked, finally. I picked the night I reached you from Corben. Remember that?”

“I remember,” Lena said, hesitant.

Kara Danvers believes in you.

“I told you when you asked me why I saved you. I took you home, made sure you were safe. Life went on. These… these timelines or whatever they were, Lena, they were real. I lived them. That one was, it was…”

“What?”

“A few days later after things calmed down we went to lunch. We were just chatting about something unimportant and you looked at me and our eyes met and it was like…”

Kara looked away from her, wrapping her arms around herself the way she did, not a smug Supergirl pose but a woman shielding her heart from the world that clawed at it.

“When I first arrived on Earth there was a night where my powers had just kicked in and I looked at the sky. I could see more than stars. There was an aurora that was invisible to humans. I could see invisible lines of energy crackling between the stars, the cosmic background radiation shimmering on the dark. Can you imagine that? I can see the remnants of the Big Bang when I stargaze.”

Lena’s had trembled, the dregs of her booze shaking in the bottom of the glass.

“It was like that,” said Kara. “I knew I’d never be the same. I was staring at you like a big goof and you just stopped talking and stared back. I blurted out ‘is this a date?’”

Lena clutched the glass so she wouldn’t drop it and forced the tears back with all her might, but she was weak. Always weak.

“I take it I said yes,” she managed to say, voice quivering.

“We got married three years later. Lori was born a year after that.”

“Kara,” Lena began.

“Then it happened.”

“Kara, shut up.”

“Kalibak killed you. My sister. My little girl. My everything.”

Lena hurled the glass and Kara snatched it from the air in a superhuman blur. Lena was already on her feet, stabbing an accusing finger.

“So what?” Lena demanded. “We’re star-crossed lovers, now? Is this your ploy to fix it? Make me realize how in love we are? It’s a sick joke, Kara.”

“I know I can’t fix it,” said Kara. “I don’t want to.”

Lena blinked, her rage momentarily cooled. “What?”

“I would rather live in a world where you hate me as long as you’re still in it.”

“Kara,” Lena said.

“We are star-crossed. I don’t know want I did to deserve this but I can’t fix it. There was never a right time to tell you. It was doomed from the start. I’m here to tell you to let me go, Lena.”

She blinked. “What?”

“I know about Non Nocere. I know what you’re trying to do. I’m here to ask you to stop. Please. Don’t do this. Don’t ruin you life over me.”

“Why couldn’t you just save me and leave?” Lena demanded. “That’s what everyone else gets. A quick rescue and a wave and a wink and you’re gone. Why did you have to drag yourself through my life and wreck everything?”

“I tried that.”

Lena screamed, bellowed at the top of her lungs.

“So what? So fucking what, Kara?”

Kara just stood there.

“I don’t know. I just… I just had to see… all I want is for you to be safe.”

Lena turned away from her.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry,” Kara choked out, behind her. “I did go back to Krypton one time. I told him I wanted to stay and die with my world, that it was the only way.”

“Let me guess, you did that and…”

“Car accident.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Lena cried. “You have to be kidding me.”

“He made me watch. Not just you, everyone else that died because there was no Supergirl. I… I think I’m in Hell.”

Lena blinked. She turned slowly. A memory came flooding back to her from another time, a closed casket in a small Irish church with Lionel Luthor lurking, waiting for her with an entourage. She’d asked the priest in her precious child voice, am I in Hell, Father?

A sob forced itself out of her. She let herself look at Kara, standing there bedraggled and teary eyed in rumpled Hello Kitty pajamas and felt sick, like she’d swallowed a belly full of rancid oil. All she could see was the hurting, and she wondered if that was it, if this pain was the source of the unbreakable quantum entanglement that had dragged this alien being across a gulf of stars to fuck up her life.

Or save it.

“Kara,” Lena whispered. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I dragged you into my life.”

“I’m not,” Kara whispered. “It was a gift, every minute of it. I wouldn’t trade a single moment for anything. Even the ones that didn’t happen.”

“What the hell do we do?” said Lena.

“I leave. I keep saving you. You find someone else, live your life, be happy. I do everything I can to keep you in this world and watch you grow old. That’s it. I should go.”

Kara turned and Lena screamed, balling her fists.

“Don’t you fucking dare leave this penthouse, Kara Danvers.”

Kara froze.

“I went back.”

“Went back to what?” said Kara.

“I went back to let you out of the Kryptonite cage. I couldn’t stop thinking of you lying on that cold floor in pain so I had to go back, but you weren’t there. I… I… I don’t know what I’m doing. I want to stop this but I just keep going and I don’t know what to fucking do anymore. I’m so lost.”

Kara’s shoulders slumped.

“I would take it back if I could.”

Kara turned back to her.

“You don’t have to.”

Lena backed away, unable to look at her. Kara crossed the gap in seconds and tenderly rested her hands on Lena’s arms.

“I’m sorry. I mean it. I am truly sorry from the depths of my soul. I would fix this if I could.”

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” said Lena. “It makes my soul hurt, and I don’t believe in souls.”

Lena pulled her in, clinging to her as if she might disappear. Kara was tentative, testing with every movement.

God, they had a daughter. A child! Lena could imagine, almost see… what had she done?

“It’s going to be okay,” Kara said. “I think this is what I was supposed to learn.”

“What?”

“To own my mistakes, and if I don’t want you to be a villain, I shouldn’t treat you like one.”

“I’m so tired.”

“I should go home and let you rest. This is a lot, I know, and it’s late. I…”

Kara trailed off, and Lena looked up at her. Their eyes met, and Lena… knew.

“Will you come back?” said Lena.

“Always.”

[nottawriter]

I commissioned @iwishicoulddrawheatherforaliving for this piece based on a fic by @snowydragonscave

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50632990

It's a beautifully written Kara & Lena fic that really spoke to me and Gracie's art is so perfect.

Thank you both for creating such great Supercorp content 💙❤

[uiharu-and-company]

Kara may be descended from a race of technologically advanced hyper intelligent aliens, but sometimes humans still confuse her. They speak strangely and often don’t mean what they say or say what they don’t mean. Even after all these years on Earth she discovers that the English language is full of surprises.

For example, when she was only sixteen years of age and slowly settling into life with Danvers family. One day Eliza had offhandedly said, “Once in a blue moon.” When referring to taking a vacation. Kara, young and excitable, hurriedly asked when the next blue moon was. Only to be met with utter disappointment when her adopted mother kindly explained that no, the moon on earth does not turn blue and they didn’t currently have any vacation plans for the summer.

Then there was that time in college when Kara had been calling Alex to ask about how medical school was going.

“Well it’s definitely worth it Kara, even if it costs an arm and a leg.” Alex had chuckled over the phone.

A horrified Kara gasped, “You lost your WHAT!?”

That one had taken a lot of explaining. With Kara going so far as to fly across the country to Alex’s apartment to confirm that she did indeed still possess both arms and both legs.

And of course who could forget the time when Cat Grant had told someone to “Hold your horses, Mister.” Only for Kara to rush in and excitedly inquire about who had horses and if she could pet them. Ms. Grant teased her about that one for weeks.

Or when the baker had told her that pastries were a dime a dozen. Kara proceeded to grab a dozen croissants and leave a dime on the counter. That time was particularly embarrassing. Especially when they chased after her and accused her of shoplifting… She did end up paying them the correct amount and happily took her croissants home.

What about when Winn had said she needed some time to “get it out of your system” when referencing her anger at Snapper. That had led to a panicked Supergirl nearly crashing into the DEO med bay looking for Alex. Who exasperatedly explained how Kara was perfectly healthy and that it was “Just an expression, Kara.”

But even with all the humans she had talked to over the years, no single human ever confounded her as much as Lena Luthor. Alex called it flirting, Winn called it gross, and Brainy called it “extremely long and ridiculous human mating rituals.”

Lena would say things that Kara would puzzle over for days. Especially that incident after defeating the villain of the week where Lena had exclaimed, “You’re a genius, I could kiss you, Kara!”

Kara tried not to think about it, she really did. But the more she tried not to, the more she would lay in bed thinking about it. She thought about Lena, about her strange words, about those beautiful lips that looked so soft and so- nope. Not thinking about it.

Which brings Kara to her current debacle.

It had been a long tortuous week for Supergirl as well as Kara Danvers. Rogue alien after rogue alien followed right behind by a massive workload of assignments she had no interest in. Worst of all, she hadn’t found any time to see Lena that week. Not that it mattered that much- they were friends. It was perfectly normal for friends to go a week without seeing each other. It was fine, Kara was fine.

So here she was, hovering like a creep over Lena’s penthouse and listening to her soft snores and rhythmic heartbeat with her powers. Friends did that, right? They snuck out at night to listen to their friend sleep because they were scared they’d lose them if they didn’t confirm at that exact moment that they were still alive, right? Well, okay, friends didn’t do that, but Kara did and Kara was Lena’s friend.

Kara didn’t know how long she hovered over the city listening to Lena that night.

—————————

Idk where I’m going with this. Should I finish?

[humanonstrike]

I'd like to place an order for Supercorp please.

[thatonebirdwrites]

Cheating Death

Each breath cost her another second. Each step another half second. Her heartbeat thrummed in her ears, and her vision narrowed to a point. She gripped the railing and pulled herself up another step, one hand pressed against her side. Blood oozed and soaked her blouse.

Another attempt on her life, but this time she doubted anyone would come to save her. Why would they?

She'd burned those bridges in the flames of fury and pain. Her heart, the betraying organ, still pulsed for one person, the one who had lied to her, betrayed her trust, used her. So she'd used her in turn. Lashed out in fury and pain. Each time her former best friend did something kind to "make up" for her betrayal, she ignored her traitorous heart.

She'd followed through, except now that she had Myriad. She'd screamed and yelled at Kara, unleashing all her pain and grief.

She should have stayed at the well defended bunker, but Eve-Hope hadn't finished boxing up the equipment. So she'd left Myriad in a safe and portaled back to the lab to carry some of the boxes herself. She'd tried to plan the move before she tricked Kara into taking her to the fortress, but Leviathan kept mucking up her plans.

Their attacks had accelerated everything.

But she'd badly miscalculated today. Her mind had been too focused on her fight with Kara. The look of pain and grief on Kara's face when she left haunted her, but she'd set the prison to last only long enough for her escape. Kara would be free now, recovering likely.

She took a shuddering breath. Pain clawed up her side at the muscle use, the wound searing like the sun.

She hadn't expected the attack to happen.

But then she had stole something from Leviathan. The stupid medallion which should have been hers not Andrea's. She laughs, bitterly, and her vision splinters. Darkness mocks her, but through sheer will she forces herself up another step.

Her project, her work to build a future where no one could hurt another like Kara did -- all lost because Eve-Hope had given her life to save Lena Luthor.

"Get down, Miss Luthor!" Eve-Hope had shouted. She pushed Lena against the floor, turned, and sprinted at the assassin. Bullets rained down, and the horrible thuds as they hit Eve's body echoed in Lena's mind. Just like when she'd shot her brother.

Eve-Hope swung her make-shift weapon, a piece of a chair, and clubbed the assassin. Both tumbled into the stairwell. Lena rolled herself to her knees and staggered to the door, her side burning. The assassin grunted and punched Eve-Hope. The other stumbled at the blow, which gave the assassin a clear window to Lena. She took one last shot, but again Eve-Hope stepped in front of the pistol.

She fell then, unable to stay upright, and Lena in a fit of rage slammed her body against the asassin's. They'd hit the wall, both scrambling to grab the pistol that had clattered to the floor a few feet away.

Lena had won. One shot, and her attacker was motionless.

But she'd also lost.

"Miss Luthor," Eve-Hope whispered. "It was an honor."

Lena had wept yet again that day.

No human cared for her. Only an AI who saved her, and now, like a fool, she'd staked everything on Hope's calculations. She'd gotten too cocky and forgot to hook her to the backup this past week.

She watched as her project died in a human body. She closed Eve-Hope's unseeing eyes and hunted for her phone.

The screen had cracked during the fight, and her fingers slicked with blood couldn't unlock. Her own phone was not in her pockets, fallen somewhere in the fight.

Whatever the assassin had done blocked all signals as none of the bars showed in the corner of the malfunctioning screen. She had throw Eve's phone in disgust, the screen cracking further when it hit the wall.

Eve died for Lena, and what had Lena done for her? Forced her AI Hope into Eve as punishment for her betrayal.

Today was her punishment for her hubris. She'd cheated death far too many times, mostly thanks to Supergirl. But she'd burned all bridges with Kara.

No, no one was coming. She had to save herself. So she'd started crawling up the steps, desperate to reach where she kept a spare phone.

Half the blood on Lena's clothes was from Eve, the rest from the bullet deep in her side.

She could press the button on the watch Supergirl gave her. But after what she did? Encasing her in Kryptonite?

She regrets it. Now that death laughs in her face, she regrets her actions. Regrets everything. She'd been so focused on her pain, her anger, that she'd failed to see what lay right in front of her.

She loves Kara. She had always loved Kara. She tried to remind herself of the truth: the one person she loved the most had stabbed her with her lies, and yet her mind teases her with memories of Kara's confession, her tears, and her desperation.

"I was selfish," Kara fiddled with her glasses, her tears streaming down her cheek. "I was so selfish. I'm sorry, Lena."

Tears stung Lena's eyes. She tried to wipe them away, but only succeeded in wiping blood across her cheeks.

"Selfish," she muttered with a sour laugh. She pulled herself up another step and paused at the pain.

Kara Zor El Danvers had kept her in the dark because she was a coward. She was afraid to lose Lena. She wanted to be just Kara with someone. She'd been selfish.

At the time, Lena had put Kara in the same category as her mother and Lex. People who claim to love her but used her when they needed it with no regard for how Lena felt.

But now, as death danced along her spine, she reviewed her time with Kara. All those moments of laughter, of cuddling on her sofa, the movies they watched, the lunches shared. How gently but firmly Kara hugged as if afraid Lena would vanish if she let go.

No, her selfishness differed from Lex, who used Lena like a chess piece. Dangling brotherly love only to snatch it away. Lifting up Lena and her work, only to destroy it. She couldn't escape his legacy, how everyone tied her to him. Even when she fought to repair the damage of his legacy.

Even in death he haunted her. The brother she'd killed for Kara and their friends.

Kara had acted like a jerk sometimes as Supergirl, judgmental and aloof, but she'd always shown up when Lena needed her. Like a fool, she'd done the same unable to stay away. Both of them had given and given. Kara had broken the law for Lena just because she wanted to help Lena feel better. All the times Supergirl saved her, the desperation in her expression before she schooled her features into aloofness -- how Supergirl claimed it was "Kara Danvers believes in you."

No, it had been Kara that whole time. Trying to tell her and yet not tell her.

Here at the end of everything, she finally understood why her brother kept the truth from her. It was yet another chess move. He knew she'd react with anger and pain, where she'd burn her bridges. He wanted her isolated, and even in death, he'd taken from her. Taken the one good thing in her life.

She screamed and pounded her fist against the stairs. She was so close to the lab now.

But the pain wrapped around her chest. Her memories tumbled in her mind as if caught in a spinning vortex.

Over and over Kara's face appeared with increasingly urgency.

Even as she bled to death in a stairwell, her traitorous heart couldn't let Kara go.

With slippery fingers, Lena pried open the watch's face. She had no hope that Kara would come.

No, pressing the button won't bring her relief. She was giving Kara one last chance to say goodbye.

Blood smeared across the watch. On her second try, her fingers finally pressed the button.

She collapsed in exhaustion against the stairs, her eyes closing as she surrendered to the darkness.

/end of part 1

[uselesseaweedbrain]

Supercorptober - 13. L-Corp

And- boom. Kara has blobbed the article. It’s done. The aliens will know, will be able to protect themselves, and Kara might get fired, but- with all these lives in the balance, this feels worth it, still.

Before Kara has too much time to dwell on her grim fate as a journalist, NSYNC sounds in the room - You're all I ever wanted, You’re all I ever needed, yeah-

“Lena!”, Kara answers her phone enthusiastically, relieved for the distraction.

“Kara, I think I found something. Funding into a facility that was supposedly defunct. It’s big enough to build almost anything, or hide something-“

A buzz, clutter, and the sound of something falling on the end of the line. Kara changes into her super-suit faster than anyone can blink, is already out the window when she calls:

“Lena?”

Footsteps, no answer. Kara is already halfway over to L-Corp, it will be fine-

“Stay back!”

Almost there - Kara can hear Lena’s erratic heartbeat and three others’, sounds of struggle-

“Lena?!”

Lena doesn’t answer. It doesn’t matter. 

Supergirl is close, a handful of milliseconds away, Lena will be safe.

A gasp and a cry; a body free falling from the skyscraper’s balcony.

Long hair. Lena’s perfume.

Kara dives headfirst before any conscious thought can form, her arms folding around Lena as she stops their fall and bundles her up in a bridal carry.

“Lena-“, she whispers, and Lena’s hand grips the fabric of her suit like a lifeline.

Supergirl is not Kara. And Supergirl should be maintaining boundaries with Lena Luthor. 

Kara can’t bring herself to care.

Lena is in her arms, both their hearts beating too fast, and Kara hovers in the air - a handful of seconds, minutes, she can’t tell -, thoughts too jumbled and mind too panicked, her hearing focused on Lena’s still beating heart.

Ba-dump. Ba-dump. The rhythmic sound is enough to drown everything else. Lena’s alive, she’s alive. She’s alive.

If Lena had plummeted to her death, not knowing to yell for Kara- not knowing Kara would come-

“Lena”, she murmurs again. “I’ve got you, it’s me, it’s Kara, you’re safe. You’re okay. I’ve got you.”

Lena doesn’t answer.

Kara squeezes her gently against her chest.

She can still hear the imbecilic criminals above her on the balcony, can see them looking at each other in panic as she rises, Lena safe in her arms.

“Dropped something?”, she snarks. 

Her freeze breath makes quick work of them, allowing her to deposit Lena on the solid ground of her balcony’s stone paving.

Lena still hasn’t spoken.

“I’ll be right back’”, Kara promises, pulling her earpiece from a hidden pocket and tapping it twice, before gathering the goons’ unconscious bodies and piling them on the balcony.

“Alex. Three men. They attacked Lena just now. Yes, she’s safe. Yes- Yes, I just need you to pick them up, L-Corp. Lena’s office, top floor. They’re on the balcony, all tied up. Thank you, Alex. Bye.”

Lena stands shell-shocked on her stilettos for the duration of the whole operation, unresponsive, but docilely following when Kara takes her by the hand and leads her to sit on her couch, closing the balcony door behind them.

Kara sits down slowly opposite Lena, grasping both her hands in hers as she tries to catch Lena’s empty gaze. 

“Lena”, she calls gently. “It’s okay, you’re okay, you’re safe. You’re okay, Lena, I promise, I’m here, you’re okay. Just, try to stay with me, okay?”

Lena squeezes Kara’s hands absently, and Kara smiles encouragingly.

“That’s good. You’re doing great. Just- tell me three things you can see, Lena, anything you want, just three things.”

Lena’s voice comes out strangled as she croaks out: “Your skin.”

“Okay, good, you’re doing well. What else?”

“Your hair”, Lena murmurs, her voice already steadier.

“One last thing, Lena.”

“Your super-suit.”

Kara nods.

“Good. Now, three things you can touch?”

“Your hands- the fabric of the couch- my pantsuit-“

“Perfect, Lena. Now, just breathe with me, okay? Take a breath in - one, two three, four - breath out - one, two, three, four, again, take a deep breath in”- 

 “That’s good, very good, now breathe out, one, two, three, four. Again-“

Lena’s heartbeat slows at last, Kara’s settling with hers as the adrenaline subsides. 

Lena’s okay, Lena’s safe, nothing else matters, and-

Lena’s corporate mask slides back into place as she rises from the couch, taking her hands from under Kara’s and extending her right one in thanks.

“Thank you, Supergirl. I don’t know what I would have done without you, and- I’m sorry you had to see that. I hope I haven’t ruined your evening.”

Oh. Kara recoils instinctively at the formal address, her hands dropping to her sides limply as she gapes.

She doesn’t know it’s me. She didn’t hear me. All of this and she didn’t hear me.

“I- no, of course not- but I-“

“Let me walk you to the door. I can let Agent Danvers in myself, if you’d rather not wait with me, or-“

“Lena.” Kara interrupts. “Did you really not hear me?” 

“Hear you when, Supergirl?” Lena’s tone is even and controlled. Polished.

She knows. A little voice whispers. This is a test. A game.

I know you believe in her, Kara, but she’s a Luthor.

I’ve learnt the hard way not to trust anything that comes out of a Luthor’s mouth. 

Kara shivers. Lena is secretive, can lie and manipulate like no other, hide her real motives and plan and plot, but it’s always been for the greater good, she’s always helped-

If she turned on her own mother, what’s stopping her from playing the long con on you?

Kara’s fists clench. They’re wrong; they’re all wrong about Lena.

Lena can be trusted, and Kara will prove it.

“Hear me when I caught you, and held you in my arms, and hovered in the air because I just needed to feel for a moment that you were safe. Hear me when I threw all caution to the wind. Hear me when I told you my name.”

Lena’s throat bobs as she swallows, a sheen of tears forming in her eyes as she averts her gaze.

“I- I wasn’t sure if you’d meant to say it. So I thought I’d give you a chance to take it back. Pretend the Luthor didn’t know.”

Kara’s chest aches and twists.

“To- to take it back? How can you- How can you think- Rao, Lena, you almost died!” 

Kara didn’t mean to raise her voice, she didn’t.

But now Lena is folding into herself, making herself smaller, as if to disappear, her gaze averted from Kara’s- there’s a fresh smell of fear in the air-

“Shit, shit, Lena, I’m sorry- I’m so sorry, Lena, I shouldn’t have yelled-“

Kara takes two steps back, then three, stumbling against Lena’s mahogany desk as her own hands tremble.

Lena doesn’t move - just waits, prostrate and in silence - and Kara feels bile rise up in her throat and swallows the urge to puke. 

A knock sounds on the door and none of them move.

“Supergirl? Ms. Luthor? I’m coming in!”

Alex pushes the door open, and Lena straightens but Kara doesn’t - weakly gesturing to the balcony with a “They’re there, Alex.” 

Alex sends her a worried look before calling her team to come in and clean up.

Kara doesn’t want to look at Lena, is afraid to move after her outburst, but she’s making Lena uncomfortable. She should leave.

“I’m sorry, Lena”, she whispers. “I’ll just go- do you- do you need anything? A taxi? A ride home?”

Kara sees Lena shake her head slowly. “No, thank you. Actually, I-“

Kara’s eyes snap up.

“I think I’ll just call George and see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay,” Kara answers quietly.

She exits Lena’s office through the balcony, and if Alex frowns at her departure, she doesn’t comment in front of her team. 

Kara takes to the skies and doesn’t come down - above the clouds, she can think, and forget about the city and the city sounds and the city inhabitants and Lena recoiling at the sound of her voice-

Kara knows she’s powerful - knows she can pound buildings down with her fists, crush metal with her bare hands, bring any element to the point of fusion with her eyes- she knows she’s scary, but Lena-

She reminds Kara of Alex after she broke her hand.

The fear. The realisation that Kara could hurt her. Had the power to crush her. 

Did Lena believe Kara would use it?

************************************

Kara had not gone to sleep but she still had a job to get to - or so she’d assumed, until she reached her office with weary eyes and was called into Snapper Carr’s office, faced with a computer screen displaying her blog, and told in no uncertain words:

“You’re fired, Ponytail.”

Kara had wanted to call Alex, but Alex had other problems, she was surely busy with the DEO and the alien abductions and Lena’s intel from the night before- 

Oh. Golly. 

Kara hadn’t told anyone about it. Had not even gotten the complete information from Lena after the attempt on her life. 

She had lunch scheduled with Lena today - didn’t want to call before she made sure Lena would want to see her - maybe, if Lena forgave her, she could bring it up, after. 

In any case, she had something she thought Lena should have.

Six bags of Big Belly Burger in hand, and a small, squared box in her pocket, Kara headed to L-Corp. As always, she was shown up and into Lena’s office immediately.

“Lena.” Kara began as soon as the door closed behind them. “I’m sorry. I am so sorry for yesterday, for scaring you, for yelling at you-“

Shock registers on Lena’s features and the CEO shakes her head slowly.

“Honestly, this morning, I wasn’t even sure what was real anymore, but- you are her, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.”

Kara hangs her head in shame before resuming her apology.

“Yes, I am her- it was me, yesterday, all me, and the way I behaved was inexcusable, Lena, I’m so sorry- I would never hurt you, but the way I shouted at you-“

Lena raises her hand and Kara pauses.

“Kara, I know. I know that you would never hurt me. The way I reacted yesterday- it wasn’t your fault."

Kara shakes her head but Lena continues.

“I just- being yelled at, it triggered some bad memories, but it wasn’t you, Kara.” 

“Still- I should have never raised my voice at you. I was scared - you came so close to dying, and if I hadn’t been on the phone- if you hadn’t known and hadn’t called for me- I was terrified, but it wasn’t an excuse. I shouldn’t have yelled. The way you shut down, Rao, Lena-”

It’s Lena who comes closer this time, and Kara who recoils. 

“You don’t have to put yourself through this for me, Lena. I am dangerous, and I know that- the whole world knows that. And I would understand if you weren’t comfortable with me anymore, I can just go-“

A hand on her forearm silences her, and Lena gently intertwines their fingers before leading Kara to the couch. 

“Sit.” Lena orders, and Kara obliges.

Lena sits too, close enough to touch - closer than she ever has before.

“I- Growing up with the Luthors- It wasn’t fun. I loved my father so much - for a bit he was the only one opposing Lillian and protecting me, but he- he wasn’t perfect. I think I erased some of his flaws in my head, because after Lillian’s reveal of my lineage- things started coming back to me. Things like the way father would drink in his office and call me or Lex to assist him. The way he would throw tantrums - or his whiskey glass, or the nearest book - when something didn’t go his way. The way he would sometimes rage and yell and destroy, and I would hide behind Lex when he was there. The way father would go back to caring and loving the next day and the way I concluded this was all in my imagination.”

Lena lays a gentle hand on Kara’s clenched fist, and Kara makes a conscious effort to relax. Lionel is dead, there is nothing left to be done anymore other than stand at Lena’s side.

“All this to say that yesterday- the free falling from the balcony had shaken me a bit, and I was not in my right mind. Being yelled at- it triggered things that I can usually control much better, but I was unbalanced, and in shock, and it wasn’t you. Please don’t think that it was you, Kara. I am not afraid of you.”

Kara exhales as tears run over her cheek.

“I’m sorry, Lena. I’m the one who should be apologising and asking how you are, and instead, you’re the one comforting me after I made everything worse, and I-“

Kara sniffs and Lena’s hand reaches out to caress her cheek, wiping Kara’s tears so delicately with her thumb that Kara is convinced that Lena has forgotten she’s indestructible. 

Kara closes her eyes and listens to Lena’s steady heartbeat and feels the soothing motion of her thumb on her cheek and thinks that she’s never felt so loved.

“Lena”, Kara whispers in contentment.

Lena hums in response.

The clock ticks in the background.

Kara forces herself to open her eyes, reaching for the squared box in her left pocket.

“Lena, yesterday, I- you know that I reacted terribly, but the reason why- I just kept thinking, what if we hadn’t been on the phone then, what if I hadn’t heard and you hadn’t called me, and you had just-”

A pause, and then, almost too hushed to be heard:

"And to be honest, Lena, I- I’m not sure I could have lived with that outcome."

Lena’s sharp intake of breath prompts Kara to squeeze Lena's hand with their still entwined fingers.

“And so- I wanted you to have this.”

Kara pulls the box open, presenting it to Lena who hesitantly extends the hand thats’s not holding Kara’s.

“May I?” Lena asks, and Kara nods.

Lena runs her finger pads over the jet-black watch with something close to reverence, and Kara has to remember how to breathe.

“Is this-“

Kara nods wordlessly.

“This is my family’s watch, and you can use it as one, or-“ Kara reaches out and gently pries the watch open, revealing a silver button with the El-Mayarah sigil. 

“This emits frequencies only audible to Kryptonians. If you press it, I will come, whatever the time or place. I want you to use it, Lena, whenever you’re in danger, whenever you feel like it, whenever you need me. Please.”

“But- Kara- this- are you sure?”

“Very sure”, Kara whispers, and Lena beams and lets Kara tie the watch to her wrist and- why is Kara's heart beating into overdrive?

[tinyvariations]

Lena Luthor’s carefully controlled life unravels when a little white lie to a wealthy benefactor leads to bringing her best friend and secret love of her life, Kara Danvers, as her fake girlfriend to a high-stakes gala. Surely, she can survive one night, right?

What begins as a performance quickly ignites real sparks. Amidst dazzling glamour and high society scrutiny, the line between pretense and reality blurs.

Read it on AO3

[rainbow-rebellion]

Happy three years to “Kara leaned in”!

“It’s only because you’re on the team that I’m here,” she murmured in Lena’s ear, holding the other woman in her arms as close as she could without hurting her. It was the truth, but somehow it just didn’t feel like enough. And how could it, when there were so many more truths hammering away at the walls of her heart, begging to be let free? Kara wasn’t sure if there were enough words to say what she longed to. To tell her best friend how during their time apart, she constantly felt like a piece of her was missing, and how having Lena back in her life had made her feel whole again. And how could she explain to her, to everyone, that when she was trapped in the phantom zone, she thought her worst nightmares would be of losing Alex or Eliza - but instead the nightmare the phantoms chose to taunt her with, night after cold, dark, sleepless night, was of losing Lena. How she lost Lena a hundred times, in a hundred different ways, and every single time, she woke up screaming and choking on her own tears. When she finally stumbled through the door onto the ship and into Alex’s waiting arms, there was a large part of her that wished it had been Lena who caught her. And maybe that should make her feel guilty, with how close Kara and her sister have always been - but then again, Lena has always been the exception to the rule. 

The truth is, as much as Supergirl needs the sun, the teary-eyed woman standing in front of her is no less important. Like the weary traveler needs the moon, Lena is the soft light that guides Kara in her darkest nights. And like the moon, she has the same type of gravity about her - from the moment they met, it has always drawn Kara in, constant like the pull of the ocean tides. Maybe that very gravity is why, when Lena finally steps back from their embrace, Kara can’t help the way her body follows. Maybe it’s because after spending every night in that awful place having to face the reality of life without Lena, Kara is pretty sure she would follow her anywhere. Or maybe, it’s because she realizes she might never find the right words to say, and so for once, she chooses not to second guess herself and to simply let her heart take the lead.

She can feel herself lean in almost subconsciously, but then she takes a small step forward to close the gap between herself and the brunette, and there’s a moment where Lena’s eyes widen in surprise as she registers what Kara is about to do. But then her hands are softly cupping the superhero’s face and pulling her in, and just as Kara’s own trembling hands find Lena’s waist, their lips meet in a tender kiss. It’s everything Kara had ever imagined it would be, and yet it’s nothing at all like she imagined it, because it’s so, so much more. She doesn’t register the look of shock on Alex’s face as her hands slide up Lena’s back, as she tugs her closer and deepens the kiss, nor does she hear J’onn awkwardly clearing his throat as he politely suggests the team leave the room to give the two women some privacy. All that exists in this moment is the feeling of Lena’s heart pounding against her own, of the softness of Lena’s mouth against hers, and the feel of Lena’s hands tangling in her hair. She vaguely hears the receding sound of Nia’s laughter as she crows triumphantly about someone owing her fifty dollars, but none of that matters. Because right now, with Lena in her arms and their lips pressed together, Kara knows she is finally home.

-------

edit - decided to put it on AO3 too

[marinawolf]

A Super and a Luthor? (Supercorp) by marinawolf

James likes Lena but his efforts are constantly ignored, because while he’s focused on Lena, Lena seems to be a little too infatuated with a certain blonde superhero. (Warning: James Olsen but it’s fun, I promise).

(Note: was struck with this idea and decided to roll with it. Supercorp from the POV of a jealous James Olsen.)

Seated at his desk, James Olsen couldn't help but steal glances across the bustling office towards Lena's glass-walled haven.

Man, she is fucking gorgeous. Her green eyes were focused on the screen in front of her, and a frown graced her flawless face. James let his eyes wander. The dress she wore left little to the imagination, accentuating her curves and showing only the slightest but most alluring hint of cleavage.

James couldn’t help but think that Lena was just a little intimidating, but despite the formidable exterior, he was sure that there was a softer side to Lena, a vulnerability reserved for the right person. And he was determined to be that person. She was technically his boss, yes, but that wouldn’t mean anything if they were to enter into a relationship. James knew that he was accomplished and well respected in his own right. Hell, he even had a temporary taste of the power Lena now held when he had run Catco before Lena took over. He knew he could be someone she viewed as an equal. In his mind, they were destined to be a power couple.

They shared countless moments together – at the office, during Kara's game nights at her apartment, and at the DEO, where they lent their aid to Kara's Supergirl duties. James couldn't escape the feeling that they had been skirting around something for far too long. Each smile Lena cast his way, every high-five exchanged during game nights, or every discussion about the latest threats faced together at the DEO stirred a desire within him, a longing to bridge the gap between friendship and something more.

James couldn't help but wonder if Lena was impressed by his daring feats as Guardian. The DEO and Kara’s efforts to shut down his Guardian alter ego left him angry and frustrated, but he held onto the belief that Lena had at least witnessed a glimpse of his courage.

James decided it was time to take action. Standing up with a practiced nonchalance, he smoothed his shirt and made his way to Lena's office. His knock was a mere formality before he entered.

Lena's gaze briefly lifted from her work. "James," she greeted, her focus quickly returning to the computer. "What can I do for you?"

Stunned by her nonchalance, James hesitated before suggesting, "Would you like to grab some lunch? You've been working all day. I know a great place just a few blocks away." He offered a warm smile, aiming to break the professional facade.

Lena, finally meeting his gaze, sighed slightly. "I'm waiting on a conference call. Maybe another time?"

Her response, accompanied by a swift return to work, left James standing there, more deflated than rejected.

Disappointment washed over him as he quietly retreated from Lena's office, puzzled by her apparent indifference. The unanswered question echoed in his mind: Was she truly disinterested, or was this a strategic guise to conceal hidden feelings? Seething with a mix of frustration and confusion, James sat down at his desk and resumed his watch over Lena.

James watched with surprise and fascination as Kara nonchalantly breezed into Lena's office without even knocking, cups of coffee and a takeout bag in hand. Anticipating Lena's usual inclination for privacy and the demands of her busy schedule, he expected a certain level of disapproval and a quick dismissal. However, what unfolded before him was surprising.

As Kara entered, Lena's eyes immediately lifted from her work, and to James's sheer amazement, she graced Kara with the most radiant smile he had ever witnessed. It was as if for Lena, the entirety of the outside world seemed to dissolve into insignificance, leaving only Kara as the singular focal point of her attention. The change in Lena's countenance was noticeable, as if everything else faded away in comparison to the presence of her friend. Kara settled gracefully into a chair, presenting Lena with a cup of coffee that was accepted appreciatively. As Kara unpacked the takeout, James watched as Lena relaxed into the moment, dropping her tough exterior and settling into a lunch hour that that Lena had, surprisingly, told him she was too busy to indulge in.

The disparity struck him with a perplexing realization. Why had Lena lied to him?

___

Later, in the conference room, James snagged the seat next to Lena’s, hoping to catch her attention during what he anticipated would be a very boring presentation about the yearly projections for the company.

James turned to Lena, expecting her to be focused on the presentation, but to his surprise, Lena's eyes were not fixed on the slides but rather on Kara, who sat opposite her, absentmindedly doodling on a pad. A subtle, almost imperceptible hunger seemed to flicker in Lena's eyes as she watched the blonde. He recognised that kind of look. He was sure that he looked at Lena the same way.

Wait. No. It couldn’t be- could it? Could Lena be into Kara?

Definitely not, he reassured himself. It seemed implausible, even stranger than a Super and a Luthor being friends. The idea of a Super and a Luthor sharing something more felt far-fetched, and he reassured himself that both Lena and Kara were unequivocally straight. Reminding himself of Kara's past crush on him, James dismissed the possibility of a romantic connection between the two women But then Kara’s gaze flicked to Lena’s and they shared a soft smile, and strangely enough, it felt like James was intruding on something private.

Suddenly, he wasn’t so sure anymore. He was determined to find out, and he was determined to claim Lena as his own. After all, James and Lena would make sense as a couple.

—

Weeks later, James watched Lena’s anguish as Kara was wheeled in to the DEO on a stretcher, having been exposed to nearly lethal amounts of Kryptonite. There was an intensity in Lena's reaction that struck him – it was as if she shared Kara's pain, as if any harm to Kara was a direct blow to her. Yet, James rationalized Lena's anguish as a product of guilt – after all, the culprit was none other than her own brother, Lex Luthor.

They gathered around Kara's bedside as she lay beneath the sun lamps, and James could see tears streaming down Lena's face. In a gesture of comfort, he put an arm around her, pulling her into him. Just as his arm tightened around Lena’s shoulders, Kara's eyes fluttered open, immediately seeking out Lena in the room. Kara whispered Lena's name, and in a visible wave of relief, Lena rushed to Kara, embracing her in a tight hug. Witnessing Kara reciprocate the embrace, even in her weakened state, stirred an unexpected twinge of jealousy in James.

—-

When Lex resurfaced, it was with the distressing news that he had abducted Lena, prompting James to rush to the DEO with an urgent determination to save her. He wanted to be her hero. He immediately sought out Alex to convince her to let him use his guardian suit, but found Alex and Kara locked in a tense argument.

“You can’t go there alone, Kara. You know it’s a trap. You know it’s you he wants to hurt. And he’ll use this to get you.”

"I don’t care. I won't be able to live if anything happens to Lena, Alex," Kara declared with desperation. She left before Alex could protest further.

Time passed, and James paced the DEO uselessly, resenting the fact that he wasn’t allowed to go out there. Shouldn’t he be given a chance to be the hero too?

Finally, Kara returned, her body showing signs wounds inflicted by Kryptonite weapons. But all James could focus on was the unconscious form of Lena in her arms.

James could barely spend time near Lena, as Kara steadfastly refused to leave Lena's bedside. Despite her own injuries, Kara sat there, refusing to move. He stood silently, and he knew that Kara had forgotten that he was even there- because he could have sworn that he heard her whisper “I love you” to Lena.

His silent watch continued as Lena eventually woke up, reaching for Kara's hands with an immediacy that spoke volumes. James, attempting to break the charged atmosphere, cleared his throat and approached Lena with a smile, hoping to place himself in her orbit.

"I was so worried, Lena," he expressed, but despite his genuine concern, he found himself unable to divert Lena's gaze from Kara. He felt like an outsider, looking in on something he so desperately wished was his.

—-

When James entered the bullpen after hours, in a last ditch effort to ask Lena out once more, he almost wasn’t surprised that Kara was already in Lena’s office. What did surprise him though, was the fact that Kara and Lena stood across the room from each other, glaring at each other. Unnoticed by the two women, he halted his approaching footsteps and silently observed.

Lena's eyes held a challenging glint as she stared at Kara, and Kara, in turn, met her gaze with equal intensity. James wondered if a heated argument had erupted, if the longstanding enmity between their families had finally overshadowed their friendship. Perhaps, he thought, it might be for the best if they parted ways.

He saw Kara walk towards Lena and prepared for the finality of the moment, already imagining being the one to offer Lena a shoulder to cry on.

But his heart shattered into fragments when instead of arguing, Kara pressed her lips against Lena's, her arms wrapping around Lena's waist. And his last remnants of hope crumbled away as Lena willingly melted into the kiss, fingers tangling in Kara's hair, kissing Kara back as if Kara held her breath captive. Their desperate kiss seemed to carry the weight of a lifetime of longing, as if they had been starved for this moment.

The intensity of their kiss left James feeling like an unintentional voyeur, prompting him to avert his gaze, unable to watch any longer. The realization of his own folly weighed heavily on him – he was a fool holding on to something that was never meant to be.

So that was it, then. A Super and a Luthor. Against all odds.

James realised that he never stood a chance.

[imawholeassmood]

Read Between the Lines

read it on ao3

Lena reads the review, rubs her temples a few times, then reads it again. There is no way Super_Girl has rated this book five stars and then wrote multiple paragraphs waxing poetic about how fantastic it was. Lena already submitted her own one-star review which included her breakdown of the writing, the characters, and the plot, of which this book had none.

For months, Lena has been seeing Super_Girl reviews pop up on the same books Lena recently finished. She wondered at this point if Super_Girl might be doing this on purpose – reading the same books just so she could rate the book the opposite of whatever Lena did. At first, it was simple - “Loved it!” or “Couldn’t get into this one,” but as of late, the reviews had gotten longer and more descriptive.

Lena herself always used the same formula for reviewing books: overall star rating with a breakdown of her thoughts on the characters, the plot, and the writing. Books, like most things in life, are easy to rate when you understand the evaluation system. Books follow formulas and rules for a reason – it’s what makes them good. A romance novel, for instance, requires a “happily ever after.” Without it, it cannot be considered a romance, and it certainly wouldn’t be a good one.

So, as Lena reads the latest review by Super_Girl, Lena can’t help but leave a comment. Maybe this person simply needs an education on the book rating system.

“What criteria do you use when rating a book?”

It’s a good starting place for this conversation. Lena has amassed quite the following with people interested in her book reviews and the last thing she wants to do is stir up internet drama to damage her good reputation. She knows how easy it is for people to take something out of context.

The reply comes almost immediately.

“Vibes!”

Lena blinks a few times, then closes the browser and leaves her laptop for the night.

**

Super_Girl does it again with another five-star rating for a book that made Lena seriously consider contacting the literary award agencies to complain about their selection. The book sounded like it was AI generated and had zero plot. And the characters? Don’t even get her started.

“How can you consider this a masterpiece?” she writes under the review. “There is zero substance in this book. It’s just a bunch of flowery words that mean nothing and make no sense. If this is your idea of romance, then I’d hate to be your girlfriend.”

Her phone rings and Lena spends the next hour talking with her assistant, Jess, about the priorities for the week and when they can finalize some presentations. Later, as she lays in bed scrolling on her phone, Lena thinks to check her goodreads account. There, under her latest comment, is a reply from Super_Girl.

“Amidst the turmoil of the crumbling world around them, two people take the time to write love letters to each other. What’s more romantic than that?

I want to meet you in every place I have loved.

I want to be in contact with you.

Swoon.”

Speaking of taking things out of context.

While Lena can see Super_Girl’s point, that’s not enough to change her mind about the book. Especially not in the context of it being a sci-fi fantasy that relegated war to a backdrop in much the same way Hollywood did with Pearl Harbor. Don’t get her started. She types out a response before closing the webpage and going to sleep.

“Relationships develop over time. Even if I agreed with your assessment, this book still lacked any real narrative and there’s zero reason to believe these two people would fall in love. They don’t know anything about each other except that they can write a decent letter.”

**

Oh, no, Lena thinks. Her latest read has her questioning her entire belief system about books. She liked the book. Not because it had a great plot. Not because she was rooting for the characters. She liked the book because…it gave her good vibes. She genuinely had a good time reading it, despite it being a complete shitshow. This never happened to her before.

She opens her goodreads page to leave her review and finds that Super_Girl hasn’t read this one yet. She feels the slightest pang of disappointment but pushes through to her review. At the end of her standard format, she adds a new category: vibes.

It takes a few days, and Lena finds herself checking her account every few hours. She’s sitting at her desk and scrolling on her phone when she gets a notification that Super_Girl commented on her review.

“Vibes?!?! I’m SUPER proud of you! And we agree the characters were awful and the plot was weak, but it was well-written.”

She doesn’t even realize she’s smiling until Jess comments about it.

“Oh, nothing,” she says and waves her hand. “Just a literary rival.”

Jess looks at her. “You’re smiling because of…a rival?”

Is that what they were? The word didn’t really feel like a good fit, but Lena goes with it.

“Agreed with me on a point. Can we please stay focused?”

And they do. Lena and Jess go over the latest reports and prepare for an upcoming meeting with one of their international partners. Lena doesn’t think about Super_Girl again until she’s lying in bed and that damn smile creeps backs onto her face.

**

Her next review is not a good one. It makes Lena question the romance genre as a whole. Has the world become so used to being treated like garbage, people can’t even tell the difference between healthy and toxic love?

She’s barely hit submit when Super_Girl comments on her review.

“They were flirting the whole time!”

Lena is still sour enough she doesn’t bother to hold back on her response.

“Flirting where? Being in each other’s orbit is not flirting. Why can’t people just say, ‘I like you and I’d like to go on a date with you?’ instead of whatever BS was happening in this book. Honestly, I’m worried for your love life if you think this is a healthy way to approach communication.”

Super_Girl goes silent for a long while after that.

Lena worries something may have happened and questions whether she should reach out. They haven’t gone this long without a reciprocal review since they started this little dance of theirs almost a year ago. She finds herself rereading their reviews and wondering about who Super_Girl might be behind the screen name. There’s no profile photo, no personal information at all. Just a single word.

Golly.

Lena smiles at that. In fact, she smiles at everything Super_Girl has written. While they may not agree on books, Lena can’t deny that whoever is behind the reviews is a wordsmith who comes across as the sweetest human on the planet.

It surprises her when she receives a notification that she has been selected to read a new release ahead of publication in exchange for an honest review. Lena doesn’t usually agree because she doesn’t want to give people any reason to think her reviews are biased or influenced in any way. She’s about to deny the request, but the cover art depicts two women, one blonde, the other brunette, and Lena never turns down a sapphic story. She accepts the request without another thought.

**

When Lena finishes The Write Stuff, she starts it over and reads it again, cover to cover. The writing, the pacing, and the storytelling are superb. It’s as if the author has studied every article about how a romance novel should be written. The characters are so well written, she has clear images of who each of these women are. She understands their desires, their fears, and their motives. Not only does she care about these people as a couple, but she also cares about them individually in a way she hasn’t cared about a character in a long time. As for the plot itself? It’s perfectly cheesy and still somehow realistic enough to be believable that it could happen in real life.

Lena hasn’t felt this…satisfied by a book since well, since she can’t remember.

So, that’s exactly what she writes in her review.

“I especially loved this line:

I would rewrite history if it meant a chance for a happy future with you.”

When she’s done, she looks up the author and finds that she’s written one other book.

Lena doesn’t recall reading it, but when she clicks on the title, she finds her review posted with a few hundred likes and several dozen comments. One star and zero positive things to say about it. Lena can’t help but think how far the author has come from this first book to the most recent one. It’s an impressive improvement, and Lena Luthor isn’t easily impressed.

Supergirl leaves a comment on her review a few days later.

“It looks like the author has been paying attention to your feedback.”

**

The following week, Lena is staring at the meeting invitation with furrowed brows and a healthy dose of confusion. She presses the call button on the speaker on her desk.

“Yes, Miss Luthor?” Jess says.

“Jess, why do I have a meeting with Supergirl on my calendar?”

Jess is quiet for a moment. She’s quiet so long, in fact, that Lena’s door opens and a blond woman with thick-rimmed glasses wearing chinos and a tucked-in button down steps just inside. She has a nervous smile and fidgets with her glasses.

Lena recognizes her from the photo bio she still has pulled up on her web browser and stands to greet her.

“Miss Danvers,” she says, “please, come in. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Kara Danvers, author of The Write Stuff, who Lena has been internet stalking for the past week shifts in the doorway. Lena comes around the front of her desk. They stare at each other in silence for a moment before Lena hears a faint “go” from Jess in the reception area. That makes Kara shake out of her stupor.

She brings her hand out from behind her back and holds her arm at full length with a bouquet of…plumerias. Lena can’t believe what she’s seeing. Her favorite flowers which represent love and new beginnings are being offered to her by this stunning woman who wrote one of her favorite books of the year. Lena looks from the flowers back to Kara’s face.

“I like you, Lena Reads” Kara says, “and I would like to go on a date with you.”

[comic-book-jawns]

Signs

Kara knows the looks she would get if she were to say she feels protective of Lena Luthor.

On account of not only her boss’s last name but also her boss being a 23-year-old billionaire CEO and Kara a 26-year-old English major who failed to find a job in her field, clearly.

Not that Kara can scoff at what she makes as her assistant, more than enough to be called a corporate sell-out.

The point is Kara knows how it sounds. Alex’s eye rolls paint a more than sufficient picture. But she just… she doesn’t care.

And, yes, she knows that’s an easy claim to make without actually putting herself on the line. In her defense, she tried.

Her second week on the job when she heard two fellow assistants badmouthing her boss over coffee at the lobby cafe. And while she hadn’t been looking for brownie points, of course, she could only assume she’d earned them when Lena had called her into her office at the end of the day.

Boy, had she been wrong.

In fact, it was how she’d realized the curt tone her boss had been using up to that point had actually been her idea of friendly.

“Your duty is to L-Corp, not to me.”

“But I’m your assistant.”

“Yes, because I need assistance. Not a cheerleader.”

Kara’s face had burned as she murmured her apologies and assurances that it wouldn’t happen again, and she was already backing toward the door when Lena dismissed her.

She’d been fortunate enough to make it inside the elevator before the tears started, and that was where her luck had run out.

A tan hand caught the doors just as before they could close, and Kara had scrambled to wipe her face as she was met with a warm smile that promptly turned to a frown.

“Kara? What’s wrong?”

In her state, she hadn’t registered until later that it was remarkable the CFO she’d been introduced to along with the rest of the exec board on her first day remembered her name.

She’d also been unable to do more than mumble nonsense about getting her period early, which had sort of been an achievement actually given how terrible she is at lying on the spot — to her sister’s perpetual chagrin when they were teenagers.

Not that Sam bought her excuse. Kara wasn’t that naive. Though her sincerity as she wished Kara well had been unmistakable. And then, she’d abruptly let the elevator doors go without getting in.

The next morning, when Kara walked into Noonan’s to pick up Lena’s coffee, she’d been promptly steered off course, by a hand gripping her upper arm like she was misbehaving child, toward a table for two in the back.

“Can I get anything else for you, Ms. Luthor?”

Her boss had glanced up from her phone long enough to offer a polite hint of a smile to the barista.

“No, thank you, Nia.”

Kara remembered feeling like she could hear her friend vibrating as she bounced back to the counter.

“You know Nia?”

“I know how to read a name tag.”

In hindsight, Kara knows the dryness of Lena’s tone had been playful. But in the moment, it had just felt like salt on the wound of Lena jabbing at her phone again.

“Right. Of course.”

Kara was busy smoothing the non-existent pleats on her khakis when Lena had looked up.

“I’m sorry.”

And there was that nagging instinct again when she’d met Lena’s uncharacteristically troubled gaze as she placed her phone on the table, face down, and stiffly gestured to the drink, cinnamon sugar twist on a plate and chair opposite her.

“Please sit, Ms. Danvers.”

They’d proceed to sit in silence for probably 20 seconds at most. But Kara had never been known for her patience... especially when there was food in front to her.

“Ms. Luthor, you don’t—”

“I do. I need to apologize for how I behaved last night.”

And, yeah, Kara had known her boss wasn’t exactly wrong. That she would have said the same in her place. But Kara was — well, frankly she wasn’t used to being apologized to.

Alex’s go-to apology is also a cinnamon sugar twist — in lieu of the actual apology.

“I don’t need to explain.”

There was a sheepish twist to her lips, a blink-and-you-miss-it slip of youth.

“But I am truly sorry.”

Kara had thought of her sister’s words from the night before: this is what you signed up for working for a Luthor.

And she’d smiled.

“Thank you, Ms. Luthor.”

“Lena, please.”

That had gotten Kara to blink. Even with their age difference, she hadn’t thought anything of the formality. After all, she hadn’t heard anyone address the CEO any other way. Not to her face.

“To you. It’s Lena to you.”

But Kara isn’t one for formalities for the sake of them, either. So she’d eagerly stuck out her hand.

“Kara.”

That was the first time she had made Lena smile, bemused as she’d returned the handshake.

It was also the first time she’d eaten breakfast on the L-Corp dime. But it wouldn’t be the last.

“Coffee and a donut is not embezzlement, Kara.”

Lena had gleaned from Nia that Kara always put her own order on her personal card, and was quite on set on it not happening again, apparently having assumed Kara understood that Lena didn’t expect her to fend for herself while she was doing her a favor.

“What about two donuts?”

That was the first time she had made Lena laugh. But also not the last.

And looking out for Lena? That’s not gonna be a one-time thing either.

***

“Lena, you’re needed in the lab. I’m afraid it’s urgent.”

If Kara’s face wasn’t enough, the heat that instantly pools in her stomach at her assistant confidently interrupting a board meeting and calling her by her first name in front of a room of old men who don’t is quite the parry to the anxiety threatening to tear her at the seams.

Not much more than it usually is in these necessary evils. But usually she has Sam at her side, ready and more than willing to jump in when Lena asks.

“So what’s the fire?” In fact, Lena’s breathing is nearing her baseline semblance of normal as the elevator doors close. “It’s not an actual fire, is it?”

She’s only half-joking. They have a containment system, of course. But that would really be the last thing she needs right now.

Kara’s smile has her unclenching her hands, even as her breathing stutters a little.

“No. It’s nothing, actually. It just looked like you needed a breather.”

And then they’re clenching with a vengeance as she ironically exhales harshly through her nose.

She may not have gotten to where she is two weeks out from 24 without her brother going insane. But she didn’t get here by being coddled either.

Which is what she’s about to explain, Luthor genes overriding the fact that it’s Kara she’s talking to.

Until movement catches her eye. A hand. Kara’s hand rubbing in a circle over her buttoned-up chest.

“Please, right?”

Lena stops breathing altogether.

“I’ve noticed the only times Sam speaks up in board meetings are when she’s spoken to… or when you do that.”

It’s true. If by that, Kara means Lena’s purposefully poor imitation of the sign. Hell, half the time she doesn’t even do it over her chest. Brushing exposed cleavage would rather counteract the subtlety.

“And I, umm - I had a speech delay when I - after my parents died.”

Lena breathes in sharply, like she had when Sam called her out over lunch yesterday for not knowing when Kara’s birthday is.

“I used Sign exclusively until I was four.”

Kara’s voice is quiet but steady. Her cheeks are rosier than usual, though, when the elevator chimes and she faces forward.

Lena doesn’t.

“Sometimes I still do when it gets too…”

“Yeah.”

Kara glances back at her, eyebrows raised slightly. As if she’s surprised by the admission. Despite how they got on the topic in the first place.

And then the doors start to open, and Kara darts forward, fingers hovering over the close button.

“Do you want to go back up?”

Lena shakes her head.

[natalievoncatte]

It wasn’t Kara that destroyed her.

In her secret heart, Lena craved that. She wanted Kara to give back everything Lena had thrown at her. Defeat her. Crush her. Cast her down and treat her like a villain. After all, why had Kara lied? Conspired? Tricked her and manipulated her? Why do all that if she wasn’t a villain?

In her quietest moments with Myriad in her hands or staring at the twisted visage of an alien murderer, a quiet voice from deep within her whispered the truth she could never let herself feel:

This is what you are. It’s in the blood.

If Kara would just treat her like a villain, it would all make sense. There would be no more nagging doubts, no more questions, no more hateful longing. Lena has done everything she could to carve it out of her chest, but it gave her no relief, only the raw throbbing pain of a ragged wound that wouldn’t close.

Then she had been at L-Corp when Jess ran into her office in a blind panic, shouting that she had to turn the television on now, that something terrible had happened.

Lena stared at her dumbly because she already knew. She could feel it somehow, a wash of graveyard chill that enveloped her from nowhere and froze the rotten lump where her heart had been. Her hand shook as she lifted the remote and turned on the screen.

The news chyron stuck her like a hammer blow to the chest and her pathetic excuse for a last meal -a cold half of a Big Belly burger she’d eaten the night before- leapt into her throat, trying to escape.

Supergirl Dead?

They hadn’t called her, and why would they? Why seek her help after all she’d done?

Lena pushed to her feet, almost tumbling to the floor in the process. The news was repeating a ten-second clip, showing a red-white beam slicing through the midday air, so bright that it distorted the image as it struck a tiny blue and red blur and knocked her out of the sky as if a giant hand had swatted her to the ground.

She was moving before she realized she’d taken a step.

“Cancel all my meetings,” Lena snapped.

“But the Japanese investors,” Jess said, lamely.

“Fuck the Japanese investors, cancel all my meetings!”

She pushed past Jess and stormed to her private elevator, twisting the key so hard it nearly snapped. She paced the full two minutes it took to to descend to the garage. There would be no summoning a driver. She ran barefoot across the parking garage floor to the Bugatti and threw herself inside.

When she arrived at the DEO, there was chaos. It took a moment before anyone noticed a barefoot, red-eyed Lena Luthor running into the lobby in a blind panic. When they did notice, she was immediately tackled by two of their goons and handcuffs slammed on her wrists.

“What the hell are you doing?” she demanded. “I’m here to help!”

“Shut up,” the agent growled.

They sent jolts of pain up her arms as they took her in. She thought they were going to take the handcuffs off, but instead they cuffed one hand to a chain locked to a ring in the middle of a concrete table in an interrogation room.

“What the hell?” Lena screamed. “I’m here to help her!”

The door slammed heavily shit and Lena raged, yanking at the handcuffs in a futile gesture that only left her wrist raw. She thought about trying to pick them, but at this rate they might shoot her if she looked to escape. Her stomach sank and she began to spiral.

She’s dead. She’s dead and they’re going to blame me.

Hot tears burned in her eyes and she willed them not to fall, holding them back with all her might, but it was inevitable.

Finally, after what felt like half a day, Alex walked in. Lena knew at once that something terrible had happened. Kara’s sister looked like hell, with dark circles under her eyes and a pained look. She regarded Lena as if she were some ugly thing that crawled out of a crack in the foundations.

“What are you doing here?” said Alex.

“I told your thugs, I’m here to help. You’re wasting time, I need to see her now.”

“Why,” Alex said, “why on God’s green earth would I let you anywhere near her?”

Lena blinked. “At least tell me what’s wrong. I might be able to…”

“You locked her in a kryptonite cage. You talked her into breaching her morals to carry out your sick schemes. You aimed a kryptonite cannon at her face.”

“I…”

“You what? You didn’t mean it?”

“Alex,” Lena began.

“Shut up. You had me fooled, Luthor. Kara always believed in you. I didn’t. I tried to convince her to be as afraid of her as I was. I just want to know, why now? She left you alone like you wanted. You’ve been quiet. Kara insisted we give you a chance and let you be, a choice I now deeply regret. So why now? What did she do to deserve this?”

The cold fury radiating from Alex choked Lena up for a moment. Her mouth worked silently.

“You think I did this?”

“Why not? You’ve hurt her twice already.”

“I didn’t. I would never. I didn’t want her to die. I just wanted to…”

“To what?”

Lena swallowed hard, speaking before thinking.

“I wanted her to feel what I was feeling.”

Alex’s eyes narrowed and her expression went dark and hard, something vicious twisting her lips. Her hand twitched towards the bulky alien gun on her hip.

With her other hand, she pulled out a phone and turned it to Lena.

Lena’s stomach flipped when she saw Lex’s grinning face.

“I hope you enjoy your new present,” he said into the camera. “A Kryptonite particle beam enhanced with a high-powered laser tuned to a wavelength that will instantly negate her powers.”

Lex’s grin widened.

“Lena sends her regards.”

Lena blinked a few times. She wanted to thrash, yank her chain, accuse, scream.

“That’s impossible.”

“Why, because you wouldn’t?”

“I killed him,” Lena breathed.

“What?”

“Lex. Lex is dead. I killed him. I killed him!” she was almost hysterical. “I put two shots in his chest and one in his head like he taught me himself. After he escaped last time I killed him.”

Alex’s expression faltered.

“You think I’ll believe that?” she said, but sounded unsure.

“When I was twelve and Lex was away at school, Lillian got drunk and threatened me. I was scared to death she meant it. Lex gave me our father’s gun and taught me to shoot.” A brief, weak smile cursed her lips. “I didn’t realize until a lot later how fucked up that is, but it’s one of my favorite memories of him.”

“You’re telling me you killed him,” said Alex. “After you went behind our backs and used the Hardin-El to heal his ‘cancer.’”

“He was my brother.”

“And you say you killed him.”

Lena looked down, away from her. Tears fell on the table with a soft patter and she choked back a hitching sob.

“She became his new fixation. He was never going to stop. I did what I had to do.”

Alex went silent. Her hand hung by her hip and part of Lena hoped she’d make it fast, the same part that flinched when Alex moved.

The key twisted in the lock and the cuffs ratcheted open. Alex gave her arm a sharp tug. “Get up.”

Lena wobbled to her feet.

“What are you doing?”

“Shut up and walk.”

Alex led her to the elevator, and down a corridor. Kara’s frail form lay behind a layer of plastic curtains, bathed in brilliant light from sunlamps.

“If she comes around,” Alex said, her voice flat. “You can never tell her. She’ll blame herself.”

Alex parted the curtains and led Lena inside. Kara lay n a stretcher with a layer of bandages wound around her bare torso, looking pale and drawn. Her skin shone with a cold sweat and there were dark circles around her eyes. She lay in a nest of wires and was on oxygen.

“My God,” Lena whispered.

“It was like he said. Some kind of particle beam combined with the laser. It’s like she was impaled through the chest with superheated Kryptonite. If Jon hadn’t caught her, the impact would have been fatal.”

Alex rattled it all off with a cold, medical detachment, except for the tension creaking in around the edges of her voice and the way her shoulder hitched.

“You’ve hurt her so much,” Alex whispered. “I don’t think I’m ever going to fully trust you again. But for the love of God, if you can fix her then fix her.”

“I will,” Lena said, the CEO creeping back into her voice. “I’ll need materials from my lab. I’ll give a Brainy a list. I’m not leaving her.”

Lena did not sleep for another thirty-six hours. She worked tirelessly alongside Brainy, who regarded her curiously as she hunched over lab benches and uploaded instructions to nanites.

Finally she said, “what? Why are you looking at me like that?”

He turned back to his own task without answering her.

An hour later, Alex stormed in.

“She’s getting worse. Whatever you’re doing, you have to hurry.”

Brainy turned from his lab bench and took Alex’s arm. He led her into the hall and they had a clipped, quiet conversation that Lena could not hear, except for Alex’s startled cry of “WHAT?”

It didn’t matter, she was finished. She took the devil in her hands and rushed through the door.

“Let’s go, we can’t waste anymore time.”

Alex openly gaped at her, then looked at Brainy. The expression of utter shock on her face arrested Lena in her tracks.

“What?”

“I,” Alex began, but Brainy grabbed her arm and squeezed hard.

“Let’s go,” said Alex.

Lena swept into the lab carrying the module in her hands as if it were made of precious gold.

“Turn off the sunlamps,” Lena ordered the technicians. “If the poisoning progresses, they’ll kill her faster than they heal her.”

Once they were off, Lena placed the device on Kara’s chest and stepped back.

Its sensors detected the Kryptonite and the system deployed. The pod unfolded like a delicate composite flower, and a wave of nanobots poured over Kara’s skin, instantly devouring and reprogramming the nanites in the wreckage of her suit while consuming the linens and bandages to grant the system more mass.

The entire process unfolded in seconds. It ensconced her in a protective layer and expanded, rapidly building an entire protective pod around her body. Dozens of tiny needles inserted dozens of cannulas into her arms and legs and began pumping her full of nanites, sending them storming through her bloodstream.

Lena bit her lip: there was nothing to do now except watch as the system’s AI administered rapid pulses of red and yellow light to balance the speed of her healing as the nanites in her bloodstream identified irradiated particles and consumed them, using them to make more of themselves.

She sat down. She knew this would take hours.

It ended up taking three days.

Lena slept in the side chair by the bed until someone brought her an uncomfortable recliner. Alex came in and out, as did Brainy and Nia, all of them looking at her oddly.

Finally the pod made a pleasant tone and unfolded. Kara lay on her side within, the nanites having formed a new suit top around her to preserve her modesty. She still wasn’t awake, but she was breathing normally and looked for all the world like her usual beautiful self. Lena was alone with her when it happened, and was glad of it. No one saw her brush the loose strands of gold from her face, and no one saw her rest her palm on Kara’s warm cheek.

They all piled on eventually.

Kara did not wake up.

“Why isn’t she coming around?” Alex demanded. “Why doesn’t she wake up?”

“She’s in a Kryptonian healing trance,” said Brainy. “It’s part of the healing process. She will wake when she is ready.”

“When the hell will that be?”

“We should give Lena the room.”

“What? Why?”

“Trust me,” Brainy said firmly.

Lean was as bewildered as Alex. What was she supposed to do?

When they were gone, she caught herself reflected in the monitors around the bed. She looked like shit, with barely one day’s sleep in four. As haggard as she looked, she didn’t care.

What the hell? It couldn’t hurt.

Lena bent over the bed, leaning on one hand, and took Kara’s in the other.

“I don’t know if you’re in there, but if you can hear me, it’s safe now. You can wake up. We’re all here for you. I’m here.”

It might have been the exhaustion, or the desperation, or the sorrow that filled her to bursting like a molten pain, but something happened and Lena let slip something that she’d held so tight she was sure her heart had long since crushed it.

“I love you, Kara. You don’t have to love me back. You don’t even have to like me. But I need you in the world. I need you. I need you, not Supergirl. I need Kara. I need my Kara. Please, if you’re in there at all,”

Kara’s eyes fluttered open. “Lena?”

“I’m here.”

Kara blinked a few times, and her hand closed gently around Lena’s.

“I had a bad dream,” she said. “It hurt so much, it felt like my heart was ripped out and I was in a dark place, and then I heard your voice leading me home.”

Lena grinned in spite of herself, tears stinging her eyes.

“I’m sorry, Kara. For everything.”

“Hush,” Kara whispered, her angelic voice full of quiet wisdom. “We can do that later. You’re tired. Lay down.”

Lena hesitated for a bare moment and then kicked off her shoes before climbing on next to her. Once she was lying down, sleep came crashing down on her like an avalanche as Kara threw an arm over her and tucked in close.

As she drifted off, Lena heard Alex, somewhere in the hall, snap, “Brainy, you knew this entire time?!”

[eqt-95]

chapter 1 is up on ao3!

A hangover. It had to be. There was no other earthly reason for the throbbing head, her impulsive hatred for existence, and the wave of nausea that demanded Big Belly Burger stat.

There was just one problem.

This wasn't her couch. Hell, this wasn’t even… her fingers brushed the ground and met… dirt. Why was there dirt? Why was it so hot? And why - she squinted, blinking and flinching until her eyes adjusted to the brightness - why did this look like a desert?

Lena groaned. It came out like the croak of a sad frog.

Cotton-mouthed, head pounding, and feebly hoping this was a bad VR trip, she curled to sit up. Vertigo would be better than whatever this was. She pressed a sympathetic hand to the bridge of her nose and noticed the maze of red sand lines against the deep burgundy fabric of her three-piece suit. The suit she was wearing the night before. The power-suit she had chosen to increase her confidence for when…

A shiver crawled across her skin. It was as welcome as it was unsettling, though before Lena could think much about that, it was sapped by the sun baking down on her. She closed her eyes though that wasn’t particularly useful at shutting the world out.

“End simulation.”

A beat. 

Nothing.

Two beats.

Nothing.

Lena’s itty bitty flicker of hope extinguished. It was a feeble, desperate, aspirational attempt anyway.

She swallowed, feeling an entirely different wave of nausea strike.

Eyes flicked open and scanned the horizon. Face already contorted in a scowl, it quickly deepened.

It was a vast sea of nothing. So much nothing. Not a single cloud interrupted the blanket of sky. Not a single hue contrasted the monochrome palette of reds and orange. Not even the hiss of a reptile rippled across dry, cracked earth. The most interesting thing was the dots of rocks sprinkled across the ground like decorations on the world's driest cupcake. The horizon was cloaked in haze and, if the glistening line of sweat on Lena’s own brow was any indication, it wasn’t the wet kind that brought cleansing rainfall.

Well done, Luthor.

Shaky knees were forced into action, though standing was no more enlightening than sitting. It took a staggering second before she found her balance. For added helplessness, she spun uselessly in a circle to discover everything looked exactly the same in every direction.

The sun hung overhead. Odd how it felt larger in a desert. Lena half-wondered why vultures weren’t also in the sky, circling their next meal.

A meal. She’d give up half her L-Corp shares for a burger. Better yet, she’d give up half her shares for a genie to grant three wishes: a burger, aspirin, and sunglasses. She wasn’t asking for much - just a few simple comforts while she shriveled into nothing.

Hand cupped over her eyes she scowled toward the sky, half-hoping one might suddenly descend from it. And for all her luck, there was something floating. It was a speck, a shadow of something, a rendering error. And it was getting bigger. She hoped it wasn’t something designed to kill her.

It was.

It wasn’t.

“Of course it’s you,” Lena sighed. It was a sigh meant to express her general disgruntlement for her situation, for Supergirl, for life in general. It did its job well. Her arm dropped in defeat. 

“Were you expecting someone else?” 

The cape. The flowing blonde hair. The hubris.

read the rest on ao3

[maxxione]

I am in desperate need of a fic for her

[thereyoflights]

i may or may not be cooking up some s5 post-betrayal supercorp smut… 👀

[thatonebirdwrites]

Cheating Death Part 2

Part 1 here.

Only seconds after Lena vanished in the portal, the Kryptonite cage melted into the floor. A yellow light pulsed so brightly, Kara had to close her eyes. Light infused her cells and pushed the pain of the Kryptonite away.

Lena's words echoed in Kara's head. How she'd stomped and shouted, the tears on her face, the desperation in her voice. How heartbroken she'd been when she'd said, "No, no you don't get to tell me who I am anymore."

She didn't know what to do. Lena had been hurting and grieving this entire time, and what had she and her friends done? Celebrated her brother's death, ignored Lena's increasingly isolating behaviors, and pretended everything was fine.

It wasn't fine.

Yet, the yellow light. Why had that activated? Was it Lena or the Fortress?

Kara ran through the Fortress to the control panel. She dug into the log and swiftly found Lena's code. It had been programmed to create the cage if Kara asked about Myriad, but then the yellow light was also programmed to heal Kara after Lena escaped. A note was annotated on that section of the code, and Kara's breath caught in her throat.

"I wish I could stop loving you. This hurts worse than death."

Tears dampened her cheeks and she wiped them away. What would she tell Alex? How can she explain any of this?

She didn't want her friends to turn on Lena, and Alex definitely would go after Lena if she knew about the cage. It'd been temporary, and Lena had programed a healing sun-bed equivalent burst for after. That alone gave her hope that she could still reach Lena.

Because even in her heartbreak, Lena did not want Kara dead.

She grabbed the weapon she needed, the same one Lena had used to stop Leviathan from killing Kara, and re-calibrated security. Her tears froze on her cheeks by the time she finished.

Kara flew out of the Fortress and high into the stratosphere. She listened for Lena's heartbeat, but heard nothing at first. Fear clenched her heart. Either Lena hid behind lead, or something terrible had gone wrong since she'd left. She hoped it was the former.

With a heavy heart, she flew to the DEO. Alex waited on a balcony.

"Kara?" Alex said, alarmed. "What the hell happened? Where's Lena?"

Kara held out the weapon. "It works as hoped. Sustained blast will keep Rama Khan down, and then attach the power dampeners."

Alex took the weapon with a frown. "Kara, what happened to Lena? Where is she?"

Kara shook her head. She couldn't voice it. She refused to believe Lena was lost to them. There had to be a way to save her, to bring her back, to repair what Kara had fucked up.

She pressed her hands against her face and flinched when Alex tried to touch her shoulder. "I got to find her," she whispered. "I got to make things right. I got to."

"Kara, I can't help if you don't tell me." Alex's voice held kindness, but Kara knew how quickly Alex could turn to anger. When it came to Kara's safety, Alex might cross a line she'd regret. Kara had done it for Alex a few times.

But with Lena? Kara had no boundaries. Lena held her heart in a way no one else did. She'd talked herself into settling for Mon-el, but it'd never been who she needed.

She needed Lena.

"Kara?" Alex tried again. "Kara, talk to me."

"She's the one who shot Lex." The words felt unreal.

Alex's brow wrinkled. "I thought he died when he fell."

Kara shook her head. "We never found a body or even parts from his suit, remember? If he had a portal watch, he could have gone anywhere."

Alex sucked in a breath. "And Lena was waiting for him?"

Kara nodded. "She shot him to protect us. She's been grieving and hurting all this time, and what have we done? Ignored her grief! Where were we for her pain?" She paced the balcony as fury at herself and everyone around her built up in her sternum. "I hurt her! I hurt her with my lies, and I have to fix this."

"Kara," Alex hefted the weapon. "Maybe let Lena have her space. We still have to deal with--"

"Alex, you didn't hear her!" Her pacing quickened and a groove appeared in the concrete from her superspeed.

Kara should tell Alex, and yet she couldn't. She needed to save Lena from Myriad herself, but to do that, she needed to find Lena. And she still couldn't hear her heartbeat.

She let out a shout of rage, her fist colliding with the wall and shattering the concrete. "I hurt the person I love! I have to fix this. I have to bring her back."

Her rage petered into sobs, and she fell to her knees.

Her, the strongest and fastest on the planet, brought to her knees by a Luthor.

She thinks of all the times she could have told Lena, and how she'd chickened out, afraid of losing her. Afraid of living a life without Lena's presence. Now a Lena-shaped hole had been carved in her chest, and she hurt.

It felt like Kryptonite all over again.

Was this how Lena had felt the past few months? This agony?

And yet, Lena had still helped. She'd still saved Kara's life. Still built devices that helped others. Why Myriad? Why use that monstrous device? Kara couldn't make sense of it. The months of pretending to be Kara's friend.

She should be angry at Lena. Furious at the betrayal, but she felt only grief. She'd started this with her lies, with leaving Lena in the dark. Lena could have helped so much more if she'd been in on it from the start. Then this never would have happened.

Kara sat there, silent, head-bowed long enough for Alex to leave and return with a cup of herbal tea. Rooibos since most other teas were too intense thanks to Kara's supertaste. Her fingers curled around the warm cup.

"I tasked Brainy and J'onn with the weapons. We'll deal with Leviathan." Alex smiled and squeezed Kara's shoulder. "You do what you need to do, Kara. I'm with you, okay?"

Kara nodded numbly. She sipped the tea and slowly became aware of a high-pitched beeping. "Wait, that's the signal watch," she murmured. She put down the cup and listened. It came from downtown. "Lena," she whispered.

Before Alex could respond, Kara blasted into the sky and broke the sound barrier. The crack whipped across the city and shook windows. She landed on Lena's balcony at L-Corp, ripped open the door, and dashed into a dark room. The beeping came from the stairwell.

Horror twisted her gut. She supersped down the stairs, all forty-three flights, until she reached the stairs just below ground level near the door to security.

She threw open the door and the thick scent of iron assaulted her nose.

Eve lay in a pool of blood, no heartbeat. Someone dressed in black lay crumbled near Eve, again no heartbeat. Blood coated the stairs from where Lena must have crawled.

Lena, her Lena, lay motionless, one hand on the top step. For a horrifyingly long second, Kara couldn't hear a heartbeat. She dropped next to Lena and pressed her fingers against Lena's pulse point.

No, there it was.

A faint badum-badum, the most precious sound in the universe.

She could do nothing for the others, but she still had a chance to save Lena. A scan of her body revealed the bullet in her side, how it pierced a lung.

Kara gathered Lena into her arms, and ran through the security sector, hitting each door with her shoulder to wrench it open, until she finally made her way outside.

Lena's blood soaked into her suit, her head rolling in Kara's arms. She held her close and flew as fast as she dared toward the DEO. "Lena, please," she whispered, "please hold on. Don't you dare die on me. Not now. Not like this."

When her feet touched down, she heard Alex's voice shouting about a Rama Khan sighting. Agents poured into vehicles, and the team prepared to leave.

Kara ignored them. She walked through the bustle, and people parted for her.

Alex turned from where she studied Brainy's screens. Her eyes widened. "What the hell...?"

"Please. Help her." Tears clouded her vision.

"Medical now. Brainy J'onn's in charge." Alex grasped Kara's arm and maneuvered her through the mess of the control center. Technicians worked on last minute fine-tuning of weapons, and others manned screens plotting possible vectors. Activity that meant nothing to Kara, not if Lena died.

Not if she couldn't speak her last truth to Lena.

She laid Lena on the medical bed, and Alex ordered her nurses to get an IV in immediately. Kara began to pace, the blood drying on her suit. Alex cut away Lena's shirt and examined the wound.

"She needs surgery now."

"What do I do?" she asked Alex, anguished. "What do I do?"

Alex shook her head. "You can't help with this. Go help J'onn, and wear Lena's anti-kryptonite suit. I'm not sure how long I'll be in surgery."

"Can you save her?"

"I will try my best," Alex said. She refused to look at Kara, and that told her far too much.

Alex didn't think Lena would make it.

"Promise?" the words came out small, plaintive.

"Promise. Now get out of my way." Alex hooked the IV bag to the pole on one end of the bed, and rolled it toward an interior suite. Two nurses followed along with a second doctor.

Kara closed her eyes and listened to the most beautiful heartbeat in the universe -- it faintly hung on, slower and slower with each passing minute.

She couldn't stay and watch the medical team open up Lena. She couldn't.

Instead, she grabbed the anti-kryptonite suit. As it flowed over her, she almost wept again. It felt like Lena hugged her, the suit entirely her design and her nanites.

She flew outside and listened for J'onn. The fight was to the southeast by the docks.

Hadn't Leviathan been targeting Lena? She'd saved her once from them already. Maybe twice if she counted the break-in that had knocked Lena unconscious.

Now Lena was dying, and Kara didn't just want justice for Lena.

She wanted to tear apart whoever ordered that assassin.

The windows shook at the sonic boom, and the ground cratered when she landed.

Rama Khan and another Leviathan member battled J'onn and Dreamer, who had the weapon from the Fortress. Agents, with adjusted weaponry to match the power-disrupting frequency, scattered around the docks.

Kara didn't care about the risk. She didn't care about the Kryptonite weapons the assholes carried.

She crashed into Rama Khan and threw him into a dock building. The wall crumpled. "Did you hire Lena Luthor's killer?" she growled.

Rama Khan laughed and stood with hardly a mark on him and his ridiculous earth-toned suit. "Those who cross Leviathan do not live to tell the tale. Let you now join her, Supergirl." He extended his hand and the ground shook violently.

A blast from Dreamer's gun sent Rama Khan sprawling. Kara sped over and grabbed him by the throat. Her feet she stomped on his arms. "No one hurts Lena and survives," she growled. Her eyes glowed, and she let out a scream of grief and fury.

She blasted him and punched him again and again. Blood gushed from his face, but then he melted into the earth and stumbled into being a few feet away.

Only for Dreamer to blast him again. Kara pummeled him with the rage of a thousand suns. Her vision red, and the land ripped and shredded in their fight. Part of the pier demolished when Kara threw Rama Khan's accomplice into it. Another building fell when Rama blasted Kara into its walls.

Rama Khan slowed, each blast from the gun scrambled his powers long enough for Kara to rip into him until he bled from multiple places. She lost track of the others, so intent on eliminating the one who ordered Lena's hit.

"Kara!" J'onn clamped the power dampeners on the alien. "Kara, we got him."

Kara clenched Rama's neck and looked down to see the cuffs clasped to his wrists.

How much loss could a heart handle? Why did the universe seek to torture her so? Her entire planet, nearly all her friends, and now the woman she loves most -- loss melted through her crevices, filled her with a blinding fury.

She'd fought to keep everyone alive. It's why she needed to be in control, but that obsession of controlling everything, to make sure she never lost, had poisoned her. She couldn't control everything.

She couldn't even save Lena. The thought of Lena dying in surgery, of never hearing her voice again -- even Lena shouting in anger?

Her fingers crunched bone. Rama Khan tumbled from her grasp and hit the ground with a thump, motionless.

Dreamer and J'onn looked at her, but she didn't respond to their words or looks. Agents swarmed around them to secure the site, while Brainy set up the containment unit for Rama Khan and his accomplices. The ruckus roared like the sea in her ears.

She turned without a word and shot into the sky. She flew as high as she could, to where little to no oxygen existed. The fury burned in her, and she wanted to rip herself apart. She deactivated her helmet, turned off its life support systems, and let the lack of air suffocate her and her emotions.

She'd live. She'd always live, wouldn't she? While all she loved died.

She closed her eyes and let herself fall. Air whooshed around her body, screamed in her ears as she hit terminal velocity. For those brief moments, she heard nothing but the shrill wind, the rest of the Earth drowned out in her fall. A moment of release from the endless soundscape.

Halfway to the ground, she righted herself and flew to the edge of Earth's atmosphere. Again she let herself fall. For a third time, she soared high and fell.

Each time she let herself get closer and closer to hitting the ocean. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't outpace her fury at her own actions. At her failure.

This time she hit the water. She sunk into its depths.

Sea life swam around her, the distant calls of whales rippled through the water. What should delight her brought her sorrow.

No, she couldn't die. Her wretched powers, her curse, kept her alive. Kept her isolated from those she loved. Her careful, practiced control meant even in moments of extreme emotion, she still had to make sure not to hug too tightly. And kissing? How many noses had she broken?

All she wanted was Lena. Even if she could never be with Lena, she needed Lena to be alive. To be healthy and happy. Kara could live with just being on the sidelines, right? As long as Lena was alive.

She burst out of the ocean in a shower of sea water. She hung in the air and watched the waves below her. Her ears tuned to her favorite heartbeat, and there it was, faint, far too faint, but still pulsing.

A slither of hope wove into Kara's wretched spirit. She flew back to the DEO, the wind drying the moisture from the sea.

When she landed, Nia met her at the balcony's doors. "Kara," she breathed out as if she'd been running. "Been looking everywhere."

Kara crossed her arms over her chest. "What do you want?"

"It's Lena. Alex said to let you know the surgery is ongoing and Lena's handling it like a pro." Nia met her gaze, but worry painted across her face. "Don't lose hope yet. She may still live."

Kara said nothing. She heard the rebuke in Nia's words, but she didn't regret her actions. For Lena, there was no boundaries. She'd destroy a thousand Rama Khans if it meant saving Lena.

She followed Nia down the hall, through two intersections, and into the medical bay. Most of the beds were occupied by injured agents from the Leviathan battle. It was the surgery room that occupied all of Kara's attention.

Lena's heart beat still in those glass walls.

Kara walked up to them and pressed a hand against the cool glass. Lena looked so pale. So fragile.

The tears returned. Her chest constricted with a Lena-shaped hole that ached with each beat of her heart.

She didn't move from that spot for the rest of the surgery. Kara held vigil in silence, unmoving. She'd given Lena revenge on those who tried to kill her, and now Kara waited.

Waited for hope to dawn once more.

/end part 2