#lemme suck ur dick bro

[sharpth1ng]

[inhidingxoxo3637]

Unhand the child Dixon

[honeyydrunk]

the nct fuckboy/fratboy agenda has me weakkkk omg give us more whenever u have the time ur so good!!!

ofc thank u !! they have me going delusional feral crazy barking and meowing !! let me do it for you let me write it out ANY MORE REQUESTS LEMME KNOW !!

part 1 link NCT COLLEGE FUCKBOYS PART 2 ten jeno jungwoo hendery yangyang renjun xiaojun winwin

ten lee chittaphon leechaiyapornkul is a whore. absolute whore. he's raising those neos into SLUTS. his reputation precedes him bc he is so pretty, so flexible, so ughhhhhhhhhhh !!!! like you see him for the first time and you know why people say he's got a body count bigger than his age. everyone wants to fuck himmm. he's so pretty, and even even prettier fucked out. messy hair and everything.

he's always flirting with someone new in the hallway when you see him. and like taeyong, his sex tapes get sent AROUND. people come up to him at school randomly and beg for 1 night w him. he's slept w all the neos at one point im sure about that.

you knew about how much of a SLUT bro was. but once you saw one of his sex tapes w johnny, you found yourself showed up outside of his class and begged for him. he responded that you should dm him w your application and he might get back to you about it. lee jeno 💪 bro is ur average athlete player fuckboy. THE cliche. smokes behind the benches, rich family, somehow top of the class. the one that everyone swears they won't fall for but they all want. you see a new girl on his arm each week and it hurts. but you've already fallen, it's just a matter of time. he'll start wearing you down and he didn't even know he did it. but you did. pulling the triangle technique when you lock eyes, catching you when you fall. and eventually he'll be right behind you when you shamefully admit to your friend that you want him. when he fucks you gone in his car? you know you need to get him to stay with you. you couldn't live without this. like you need his dick to even function. you've given up your life for him, just so that when he asks you're available to suck his dick.

JUNGWOO,,,, oh my god. he's so crazy. y'all remember the 2 baddies fuckboy jungwoo era. imagine that, but that's his default setting. man's still sugaring candy, but it's ur candy this time. he's sucking ur pussy if u didn't understand what doja said. he's the quiet slut. the whole school doesn't talk about him like they do mark, ten, taeyong and jeno. but when you see him? you're done for. batshit crazy delusional. his whole demeanour and personality is straight flirting, pulling his shirt up at every opportunity. the way he walks around the school with his sweet perfume trailing, he gets people going feral over him. people will just walk up and beg for him to fuck him, and ofc jungwoo obliges if they're hot enough.

he's so sweet when you taste him, like his cum is sweeter than sugar. his perfume too. everything about him is like a candy drug. a pretty moan when you suck him dry. he's so pretty and sweet that makes you cum too. genuinely, you start following him around school just so you can smell him. you don't even care it's creepy.

H E N D E R Y is the epitome of "so weird you forget he's hot." he's actually extremely popular. genuinely friends with everyone. people are a little hesitant because they know he's part of the neo slut gang, and they see him acting a little unusual special crazy. but they actually have a conversation with him and suddenly they realise, bro this guy is amazing. and jus like that he's friends with everyone.

but then, uh well here comes a strange phenomenon. you've only seen him being silly, a little whimsical even. but when you see him zoned out, or concentrating for once? ..... "oh". because you finally realise how beautiful he is. an actual prince. it's not exaggerated to say he's taken your breath away. you're in love. imagine how much it hurts to go to a party and realise that you're not the only one in the room that is. so many people had that exact experience as you. learning how beautiful he truly is, falling in love, and begging for him. you see him in the corner, zoned out from the loud music and watch one of the guys you're mutually friends with have that phenomenon right there and then, pulling him away to a cupboard.

the same thing happened 3 times that night. liu yangyang international exchange fuckboy. he doesn't realise he's a fuckboy though. with the whole funny and cute personality going on, he thinks he's just got an amazing ability to pull people. sleeping with a different person or multiple people at a party, to seeing someone new every day and asking for their instagram. bro doesn't even know about the horrendous reputation he's got. "dude people say i'm a slut? nahhh that's crazy."

yangyang is of the opinion he's just a funny chill guy. down for anything, including a little fun fuck times whenever someone asks. and while that's his reasoning, he doesn't quite understand how it looks to everyone else. a rich guy coming back from germany, taiwan, and wherever else for weekend getaway bender and driving to school in a luxury car with a new girl in it almost every day.

when he fucks? it's just like his personality. fun and hyper. bros fucking for a good time and with him it's definitely a good time. spilling cum on the luxury leather seats, tinted windows and a surround sound system. yeah,,,,, you see why he does this so often. it's genuinely so much fun. better make sure you give him a really good time though, so he invites you to his apartment next time.

renjunnie the most smug class president for some, and nct's little plaything to others. it really depends on who you ask. for people in his class, he is the most obnoxious, smug, annoying ahh know it all, with the biggest dick. (a stick up his ass which is obviously jenos). genuinely, every person he's tutored has ended up unfortunately eyeing him instead of the book. how did that end? with him being just as rude and bitchy as he fucks you. measuring how much he pleases you by how much you can answer while fucked out.

but for the ones that know of the dreamies having their way with him can't possibly see him as anything other than a little toy. the way the other six just devour that man is actually quite shocking. lowkey surprised bro can even walk.

xiaojun oh my lord. this man's moans are heavenly. you actually cum when you hear them. (lowkey think some czennie do when he hits those notes). he's part of the nct moaner gets passed around line with renjun, haechan, taeyong, and ten. horrid sex tapes.

he looks so beautiful. standing in front of the school performance during an assembly, halting everyone with his voice. if you could look around, you'd see everyone frozen. haunted by his siren song and face that launched a thousands wars. everyone in that room was looking at him, and only him. in that room, no one was in a relationship. how could they love anyone else except him.

countless marriage proposals, dowrys of billions. everyone in that room would give xiaojun the world in exchange for a sliver of his love. no joke someone has given him a car in exchange for his private instagram account. winwin bros got the cha eunwoo effect. the campus crush. he hangs out with the china line horrid fuckboys , yangyang hendery chenle. but who cares? that actually elevates his status. literally a rose in a garden of slutty ahh thorns. that's not to say he's not a giant fuckboy. he's just quieter about it.

with his quiet excuses, sneak dates an hour away, his subtle ways of affection. he says he doesn't want attention, so you can't publicly date. but that's just so the other girls won't find out. he doesn't even think he's dating you, just seeing where it goes. eventually you'll call it off, "making it easier on your friendship" you say. that's how he goes through so many girls.

taking you to a beautiful garden several hours out of the city, you think it's romantic. he uses a different phone to text with you, 'so the guys don't go through my regular one and tease you'.

enjoying the sunlight he's slowly fingering you so you're focused on his love, and not seeing what's right in front of you

tags: @stanskzorillkickyou you asked for yangyang bbg !!

prev: haechan, mark, johnny, yuta, jaemin, kun, chenle, jisung next: jaehyun doyoung, perhaps lucas sungchan shotaro

[star-dust-shark]

pjo incorrect quotes as things me and people I know have said on crack

Jason: these grapes are funky

Leo: these grapes are fucky

Leo: *drops sandwich, cries*

-

Nico: I will never forget the fact that Piper and I where sitting together with headphones on and she looked up only to see me playing air guitar and head banging to whats my age again

-

Solangelo: *kith*

Will: *walking away with a dorky grin*

Will: *almost gets hit by car*

Will: *gets home and screams into pillow for twenty minutes, then picks up diary and writes like five pages about Nico, then texts him for like an hour and a half and afterwards draydreams about him*

Will: hmm I think I might like Nico

-

Leo: imagine having sex and someone moans like a hentai girl lol

Percy: *moans* KyAAaaaAAHHHhhhhhh

-

Reyna: bro apologized like Colleen Ballinger

Reyna: like fuck off I hope you die

Percy: tOxiC GosSiP tRaiN

Jason: not a groomer

Leo: *hair flip* just a loser

-

Piper: Im horny- I mean horngry- I mean- *cries*

-

Nico: mentally I am a fifty year old man

Will: yeah totally not obvious mister motley crue

-

Leo: jason

Leo: I have something to tell you

Jason: yeah?

Leo: Im gay

Jason: WHAT

Jason: NO WAY THATS CRAZY

-

Annabeth: my wrist hurts

Percy: emooooooooooo

Annabeth: I literally sprained it wtf

-

Hazel: no you cant commit mass genocide Nico

Nico: its pride month this is homophobic

-

Reyna: okay how about we play the quiet game

Reyna: whoever wins gets my two dollars

Reyna: three, two, one, ghost town

Frank:

Leo:

Percy:

Annabeth:

Jason:

Nico:

Leo: *face red, fists clenched, rocking back and forth*

Everyone: *concerned looks*

Leo: I cant- IM A BITCH IM A BOSS IM A BITCH AND A BOSS AND I SHINE LIKE GLOSS

-

Piper: your moms hot

Jason: lol what she ugly asf

-

Will: im concerned with your eating habits, Nico

Nico:

Will: its very serious Im kinda scared

Nico:

Nico: womp womp

-

Jason: would you suck my dick if-

Percy: yes

Jason:

Jason: if there was poison in it and I would die if you didnt

-

Leo: ive learnt something interesting

Leo: my arm skin one day may be cut off and turned into a penis

Leo: therefore...

Leo: *bumps arm into Jason*

Leo: JESUS JASON STOP TOUCHING MY PENIS

Jason: WHAT

-

*talking on tumblr*

Hazel: wyd

Frank: jus on tumblr and talking to you

Hazel: lol nerd imagine

-

Hazel: *bats eyelashes* what does gyat mean

Frank: uhh It means generous young amazing t-

Leo: GORL YA ASS THEEK

-

Rachel: Im so single

Will: skill issue? L ratio? no rizz? no game? no bitches?

-

Percy: I havent taken my meds

Annabeth: oh no good gods

Percy: so that means

Percy: I will either try to kill myself orrrrr

Percy: like violently fuck someone

Jason: I volunteer

Jason: I volunteer as tribute

-

Nico: hey girl *winks* r u a racoon

Nico: bc Im trash

Nico: *bursts into tears*

-

Annabeth: *walks into bathroom, sees spider*

Annabeth: *yelps* oh

Annabeth: hello mister spider

Annabeth: youre not so bad

Spider: *moves*

Annabeth: FUCK NAH PERCY WERE MOVING PACK YO BAGS

-

Jason: *hits knee* oh fuck- my knee-

Leo: okay

Jason: *scared* ur gonna fuck my knee????

-

Thalia: I am now a tree a tree I am a tree is me

-

Nico: im actually kinda insecure about my knees weirdly enough

Will: aww bb :(

Will: well I think you uh

Will: ...have beautiful knees???

-

Nico: *jokingly* I can read your mind

Will: oh no

Will: oh shit

Will: thats not good

Nico: it cant be that bad

Will:

Nico: are these thoughts about me, per chance?

Will: WHAAAAT NOOO *hangs up*

-

Leo: daddy hands, twig nerd bod

-

Leo: im confused why can girls call their friends girlfriends but whenever I call Jason my boytoy twink malewife manwhore someone gets pissed

-

Hazel: yeah, this guys really annoying me

Frank: ugh im gonna fist him

Hazel: ...

Frank: what

Frank: like beat him up?

Hazel:

-

Percy: my friend thinks youre cute

Annabeth: what? who?

Percy: me

Percy: Im the friend

Percy: I think ur cute

-

Nico: so weird when someone comforts you

Nico: like why

Nico: just lemme be a moody emo brooding sad angsty depressed boy for a bit

-

Piper:

Leo:

Piper:

Leo:

Piper:

Leo: *in toad voice* BItCH i SaiD wHaT i sAiD iD rAthEr bE FaMoUs InsTeAd iD LeT aLL Of ThAt GeT To MY heAd I DonT cArE ILL pAinT tHe ToWn ReD

-

Nico: *crafting with scissors*

Percy: *walks in*

Percy: what are you doing

Nico: ...crafting?

Percy: oh okay I thought you where cutting yourself

Nico:

Nico: IM MAKING A HELLO KITTY ART PIECE

-

Leo: *glares*

Frank: *glares back*

Frank and Leo: *glaring at eachother*

Leo: omg I just felt sparks

Frank: DUDE STFU WTF

-

*sees gay porn*

Will: thats it im homophobic

-

Nico: so I wrote this song

Nico: *adjusts mic, positions guitar*

Nico: *deep breath*

Nico: *strums single chord* my whole family died

Nico: thank you, thank you

-

Nico: just realized the only physical contact Ive had in like a whole month was Leo dabbing me up

-

Jason: straights ask why theres no straight pride month but like

Jason: isnt there a toyota month or smth

Jason: id say that works

[dmercer91]

ebug’s sister, dm91

part one / part two / part three

we're gonna ignore the drastic hair change and the fact that the people in pictures 2 and 3 look absolutely nothing alike despite being twins in the au

pictures saved from pinterest !

blakefriarr_

liked by jackhughes, lhughes_06 and 4,867 others

blakefriarr_: my brother's an ubug, episode 3! birthday edition!

jj was not actually the ebug for tonight's game, he's just a huge suck and he got me devs tickets for my (our) birthday cause he LOVESSSSS MEEEEE

he was gonna get me a mercer jersey and then i apparently offended him by drawing dicks on the printed pdf of his 10 commandments

i can't not provide context for these photos, it's my brand. so buckle up.

one is me after unwrapping the gift my dad got for jj and accidentally put my name on. yes that is fire. yes this was our father telling jj to go get an actual job. yes i laughed. yes i kept it.

the next two capture jj and i's entire relationship visually, and they are me wanting to drink out of a much too heavy, glass bottle without using my hands. jj was incredibly concerned for his safety as well as the condition the floor would be in after i inevitably dropped the bottle and got glass everywhere. however, that did not happen because i am actually god himself. next.

dawson looks very displeased with whatever he is looking at (they were winning?????? the puck was in the o zone?????? hisch had the puck?????? idek. maybe he's got digestive issues)

the boys are having a pre faceoff chat. dawson is eating his gloves.

view 525 comments..

jj.friar31: i want that torch back

→ blakefriarr_: tough shit james

→ drayanewman: HIS NAME IS JAMES?!?!?!?!?

user6543456: dawson eating his gloves just like jack

→ user93456: will ny is the original sporting goods eater

dawson1417: happy birthday <3 hope you had a good night

→ blakefriarr_: this comment squished my heart like a pimple in the best way

→ dawson1417: you're welcome? 😭

→ blakefriarr_: thank you, handsome <3

→ dawson1417: i understand the pimple comment. good lord.

dawson1417: now that we're done being cute i do NOT have DIGESTIVE ISSUES???

→ blakefriarr_: it's nothing to be ashamed of, daws. just a tummy ache :(

→ dawson1417: i did not have a tummy ache i am a grown man

→ blakefriarr_: shit ur right my bad you've got functional dyspepsia

→ dawson1417: i've got WHAT

user230237: this is so chaotic

user098765: i love that everyone just goes with this

dawson1417: final comment i promise but why is your shirt half see through

→ blakefriarr_: why ISN'T your shirt half see through 🤨

→ blakefriarr_: lemme have a look

→ jj.friar31: this is why you didn't get a jersey

→ blakefriarr_: @/dawson1417 can i have a jersey

→ dawson1417: @/blakefriarr_ i will get you one from every theme night as long as they've got my number on them

→ jj.friar31: you're a TRAITOR, dawson.

njdevils: happy birthday, blake!

→ jj.friar31: happy birthday blake AND JJ. IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TOO. I'M THE EBUG!!! I'M MORE SPECIAL

→ blakefriarr_: i wouldn't say more special but you're definitely a different flavour of special

→ blakefriarr_: also technically your birthday was yesterday so stop acting like a colossal piss baby

→ jackhughes: huh

→ blakefriarr_: i REALLY did not want out of there bro i was hanging on for dear life

→ jackhughes: oh shit i thought dad had mad game

→ quinnhughes: then they wouldn't be twins ?

→ blakefriarr_: oh my god one of them has a brain cell

→ quinnhughes: glad i could be of service, congrats on being whatever age it is that you are

lhughes_06: i was gonna say happy birthday and then you said i had less braincells than quinn.

→ blakefriarr_: correction- i said quinn had one (1) braincell. therefore implying that you have none <3

lhughes_06: happy birthday jj

→ blakefriarr_: and you WONDER why i like quinn better

jackhughes: you were born on this day 🎉 jj wasn't, i guess. but happy birthday to him

jj.friar31: @/blakefriarr_ thanks for pissing off 2/3 of the hughes' i needed that

→ blakefriarr_: you're welcome it was your birthday gift

→ blakefriarr_: but just cause i'm butthurt i'll leave you with the thought that ellen would probably like me better

nicohischier: happy birthday to you and jj, thank you for calling me something normal

→ blakefriarr_: kinda weird that you don't find cap normal do you have something to share with the class

→ nicohischier: no i am 24 and i do not attend class

dougieham: i would never in a million years have thought you two were twins before your first post i actually just assumed you'd hid behind him until you got to meet us and that there was no correlation

→ blakefriarr_: is it cause i am really cool and he is just jj

→ dougieham: no.

→ dougieham: well actually sort of

→ blakefriarr_: aw thanks dougie

→ dougieham: i said sort of

ryangraves27: my head made it into this one

→ blakefriarr_: i can't tell what tone of voice this was meant to be read in

→ blakefriarr_: like are you sad?? thrilled?? terrified?? should i crop you out next time?? emote please

→ ryangraves27: i think i will not

→ blakefriarr_: this comment made me call my therapist

→ jj.friar31: thanks man she needed this

→ blakefriarr_: remember when both of the gifts had my name on them and nobody was shocked and the first one was money and things i was actually interested in and the second one was a propane torch that nobody will ever use unironically (remember which one was meant for you?)

→ jj.friar31: while ur on the phone with her can you make me an appointment too

→ blakefriarr_: she made it right before mine in case you need more time.

→ jesperbratt: you're joking about the gift thing... right?

→ blakefriarr_: they paid his college tuition

→ jj.friar31: they paid for part of your car

→ blakefriarr_: i drive an '11 civic and the check engine light has been on for a year and a half

→ jj.friar31: they pay for your apartment

→ blakefriarr_: we live together???

→ jj.friar31: that is definitely a point

view more comments..

[luciality]

vampire bf be like "please bro lemme suck ur dick i promise i wont bite it this time please i swear"

[rainxstories]

PROJECT PARTNER PART 2

Pairing : Rafe Cameron x Fem Reader

warning : giving and receiving head , p in the v

Y/N

Hello come in

*Rafe walks in*

We can work on this in my bedroom since I have a spacious desk.

"Aww ur bedroom? U must really wanna get to work....Y/N u know if u want me to work u out all you have to do is ask ,  I know you fantasize about having a kook stretching you out"

Boy what the fuck are u talking about...

"Come on don't play dumb now with all those short skirts u be wearing whY else would be u wearing it for other then to impress the other kooks in the class"

Rafe was right i did fantasize about having a kook stretch me out from time to time but I can't let him know that especially not that sometimes I use the image of him to please myself. As much I hated the way Rafe treated me I have to admit he is a very attractive guy.

"You're disgusting Rafe I wear skirts because I think they are a cute not because I want attention from you and your lunatic kook friends."

"Is that why you are wearing a skirt today , because it looks cute?? Or is it really because u expected me to dick u down today when we really suppose to be getting our project done"

rafe just shut the fuck up...just

I kissed him , I don't why I did but I did it

"woah princesss I didn't expect that , so what I said was true"

just shut up and fuck me please

"I thought u would never ask"

After I kissed him , rafe slowly started to take over and started kissing me all over my body until he made contact with my legs. He started eating me out and I couldn't help but scream....that boy sure knows how to do tricks with his tounge.

"I know baby , I know baby. Just stay still for me so I can make u cum before we can actually get to making love"

okay- I could barely get any words out

5 minutes later I had finally came and decided since he had eaten me out that I should suck his cock ( THIS WORD IS SO FUCKING FUNNY)

lemme return the favor

"please do , you don't know how long I've been waiting to have that pretty mouth of yours around me"

"oh so u were also fantasizing about me?"

"shut up and just suck me off"

he pulled it out and bro was packing I'm talking real big I'm talking giantic...how the fuck is this gonna go in me.

once I'm done sucking we get to fucking.

rafe I'm scared what if it doesn't fit in

"don't worry baby I'll make it fit"

we both cum and live happily ever after.

Part 1 linked below

HELEPEPEPEPWP THIS IS SO CRINGEEEEE

[rii-ski]

help me find my bro from omegle

I was talking to some1 on omegle and it was very goated like real talk but they disconnected and i def want to interogate them again lmfao so help me find them plz "Bro why you interrogating me" "Damn" "frfr" and "70 year old man living in a shed in ohio" can summon them lol

Stranger: Damn

You: hello !

You: huhh

Stranger: Hey

You: what happened lmao

Stranger: wdym "huhh"?

You: wdym "damn"?

Stranger: What?

You: 💀

Stranger: wdym

Stranger: ?

You: nevermind ight

You: start over ig

You: hello

Stranger: Damn

You: "damn"

Stranger: ?

Stranger: Why quote

Stranger: say it back

You: Damn

Stranger: be polite

Stranger: ty

You: ight sorry mate

You: lmao

Stranger: I'm good, how are you?

You: lmao im alright

Stranger: On here for a reason or just bored?

You: just bored

You: you?

Stranger: Drunk waiting for friends to get online

You: No wonder

You: I could expect so

Stranger: What's that supposed to mean??

You: "Damn"

You: Sorry sorry

Stranger: Maybe I lied about being drunk ever think of that

Stranger: People can lie on the internet

You: Woah

You: Thank you for telling me that information

You: Maybe u arent drunk

You: maybe ur a 70 year old man living in a shed in the middle of ohio

Stranger: I never said I wasn't

You: God

Stranger: Yeah?

You: yeah

You: This is the most interesting convo id had 💀

Stranger: No way

Stranger: as if M isn't captivating

Stranger: "M"

You: REAL

You: M is such a great conversation startger

You: starter**

You: "M" "age?" "you got snap?"

Stranger: I wonder if those people fall for the bots at all

You: I bet you some do

Stranger: Guess they wouldn't bother making bots if it doesn't work

Stranger: RIP horny bastards

You: Yes frfr

Stranger: Are you the frfr person I said "dick" to earlier? If so it was an accident I meant "sick" and I panicked and skipped

You: No I did not recieve a message of someone who said "Dick" instead of "sick"

You: that person mustve been so confused 💀

Stranger: My copy paste was "just tryna chat, nthn weird"

Stranger: Then they said "frfr"

Stranger: and I said "dick"

Stranger: sucked so bad

Stranger: RIP them

You: LMAO

You: Thats funny ngl

Stranger: so anyway you a 70 y/o man in Ohi?

Stranger: Ohio?

You: No

You: im 69 years old man livin in ohio

Stranger: Based

You: God

Stranger: I'm only half a planet away if you wanna meet up?

Stranger: lemme calc

You: Yes imma hop over

Stranger: ooooh it's just a little under 10000 miles

Stranger: Saucy

You: woah

You: super saucy

Stranger: You actually American or can I convert to non-freedom units?

You: I am not american I have no idea what is miles

You: I am asian

Stranger: 16,000 km

You: thank you for that

You: I was confused and just said "super saucy" cuz u said "saucy" 💀

Stranger: That's the appropriate response

You: Yes

You: no other response can be used

Stranger: You a native english speaker?

You: Yes I am

Stranger: I've met people who aren't and can speak better than I can, sucks so bad

You: Are you?

You: Litterally same

Stranger: Yeah I'm Australian white af

You: Alright

Stranger: It's Trauma

You: White ppl trauma

Stranger: What's that supposed to mean Hmm?

You: Nothing

You: Im innocent I swear

Stranger: You probably don't live in Asia then yeah?

You go there at all?

You: LMFAO

You: Got to say that made me laugh a bit

Stranger: Damn

You: "Damn"

You: The silence is so loud

You: What

Stranger: It's hard to qu estion

Stranger: and think

You: Yes real

You: I have nothing to say

Stranger: Yes real

You: Real

Stranger: Agree real

You: Frfr

Stranger: Dick

You: LMFAO

You: i giggled

You: I giggled hard

You: i laughed

You: i bawled

Stranger: didn't mean to make you cry soz

Stranger: I'm innocent I swear

You: u made me cry

You: now I have white people trauma/j/j

Stranger: Damn

You: Damn indeed

Stranger: wyd in free time?

You: Sleep

You: You?

Stranger: real

You: Real

Stranger: YouTube and work

Stranger: and sleep

You: Wow

You: Youtuber arc

Stranger: U watch?

You: sleep>>

Stranger: No way you said "arc" without YT or Anime

You: Yes real

You: I obv watch YT and anime

Stranger: Damn

You: Damn

You: indeed

Stranger: ""Damn""

You: GOD

Stranger: I predicted and you didn't do it

Stranger: Dissapointed

Stranger: fk mispelled

You: You failed

Stranger: Who you watch on YT?

You: Anyone captivating

Stranger: fancy

You: Ikr

You: you?

Stranger: Like reccomended surfing?

Stranger: reccomended surfing

You: yes

You: real

Stranger: any genres

Stranger: I like lawn mowing

Stranger: you seen any of that?

You: top tier content

You: is lawn mowing

Stranger: What's that supposed to mean>

Stranger: ?

You: Bro why are you interrogating me

You: i said lawn mowing is top tier content

Stranger: I don't believed you've seen it

You: Maybe I have, ever thought of that?

Stranger: gets 10M views but I'm the only one

You: rewatches 10M times

You: I helped out a bit

Stranger: Damn

Stranger: good friend

You: Ikr

You: I am best

You: I am top tier

Stranger: Bro why are you interrogating me

Stranger: sry

Stranger: " Bro why are you interrogating me"

You: Hey

You: Dont do that

Stranger: hEY

Stranger: wyd?

You: Bro

Stranger: I aint yo bro

You: alright

You: good to know

You: I am

Stranger: Wait you watch Anime?

You: watching lawn mowing videos

Stranger: which one?

You: yes i watch anime

You: anything captivating

Stranger: fancy

Stranger: saucy even

You: Yes

You: goated content

Stranger: is there goat anime?

Stranger: I havent watche din a few years

You: theres some

You: its hard to find

Stranger: only thing I've heard about is Chainsaw Man

You: yes real

You: its okay

You: its saucy

You: but not goat

Stranger: Damn

Stranger: I was hearing goat talk

You: "Damn"

You: it may be my opinion

You: but yeah Chainsaw man is Saucy x2

Stranger: Ur goat is probablt something shitty then right

You: probably

Stranger: 'Like cowboy bepod

You: yes

You: LMFAO

Stranger: Or full Mental Alchemist

You: No i dont go there

You: im not that genre

Stranger: "Anime" genre?

You: ...

Stranger: So you dont watch

You: I mean

You: I am not in THAT side of the genre

Stranger: Probably just reviewing Chainsaw Man from the YT trailer

Stranger: smh

You: No bro

You: I have watched all and waiting for more

You: I bet you havent even watched a single clip of it

You: smh.

Stranger: """""Damn"""""

You: STOP

You: I scrolled to the top this is the longest omegle talk I've had

You: real talk ig

Stranger: what ig mean i feel old

Stranger: 'specially since you 69

You: yeah

You: real

You: u are 80 arent you?

Stranger: Damn

You: Damn indeed

Stranger: frfr

You: dick

Stranger: fucked up individual

Stranger: Wanna hear something funny?

You: yes

You: let me hear it

Stranger: My copy paste used to be "Not Horny" but I got IP banned

Stranger: fml

You: God

Stranger: Now it's " Bro why are you interrogating me"

You: Yes real

You: I love that

Stranger: Whatchu thinkin?

You: nothing

You: what are YOU thinking hm?

Stranger: Last time I had a convo this long we it was a hot girl who lived close to me and we talked on Snap for a day then never again

You: Damn bro

Stranger: But i'm getting "bro" energy from you

Stranger: Yeah see

You: Oh yes

You: I am definetly the bro energy

Stranger: You workout?

You: Okay next question

Stranger: Damn

You: Damn indeed

Stranger: I'm tryna start but it suckssss

You: Yes real

Stranger: But I wanna be ripped

You: I worked out for a week then never again

Stranger: " Bro why are you interrogating me"

You: Wow.

Stranger: u

Stranger: literally

You: litterally

You: Damn.

Stranger: Anyway I'm out l8r

You: Bro

Stranger: ?

You: we did not have this much talk for you to say I'm out l8r

Stranger: false

Stranger: people lie on the internet stop lying

You: God

Stranger: like I said only hot grills get the snap sonny

Stranger: RIP

You: Gosh

You: I failed

Stranger: dont be sorry

Stranger: be better

You: I am better

Stranger: be hotter and be grillr

You: give me another social then

You: i am not a hot grill

You: i dont bbq things

Stranger: So you're

- not a hot grill

and

- not a man

Stranger: bbq is life

Stranger: no offense

You: bbq is life yes

You: ur correct

You: i am an emo kid now give me a social now

You: i have litterally no one to talk to

Stranger: well if you're a kid it's frfr not happening soz

You: okay I am an emo man

Stranger: find a youtube you like and join their discord

You: bro

You: okay

You: Anyway I'm out l8r

Stranger: real

You: real talk

Stranger: hope u find peeps, much love <3

Stranger has disconnected.

[mangoposts]

https://www.tumblr.com/mangoposts/748042858620239872/matt-lemme-suck-ur-dick

I would say no because I’m loyal to my babygirl Mina 😔 but I’ve just found out she been talking to my brother behind my back so when and where ?

Matt🤍🩹

Matt bro it’s not what it looks like man

[bluewormonastring]

My live reactions to season 2 (episode 3)

SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY KIDS READ AT UR OWN RISK

“I didn’t best you. That’s the captain” “YOU BESTED ME” “sorry bruv” “👀” “HIIIIIII <3 I know. It’s been a day!”

I literally love her so much

“Your last act on this planet WILL be surrendering to a woman 🤪🥳”

“Or we could have drinks” an ICON

She’s so good bro

“Oh hmmm gee lemme think no that’s stupid ok fine I’ll say it maybe a partnership” you icon

“Looks like it hit a storm” AHHH

“The revenge” “ED”

THE WAY HE JUST JUMPS OVER LMFAO

NO THEY’RE EATING A SEAGULL

“Oh shit HES STEDE”

10/10 question dodging lmao

“Piss off Izzy I don’t wanna hear from you”

THEY ARE NOT DOING THE OLD FARM UPSTATE THING LMFAO

Izzy “That was me” omg

THERE’S HORNIGOLD

Omg and a pig

“Open up for the cargo ship” *instant panic *

*glares at soup*

She’s so iconic

Awww fangy

“Should we go get some cooking bevys?”

Good Jim for telling him so quickly

“I saw her boobs” “nice” “both of them” “OKAY that’s enough-“ lmfaooo I love them so much

STOP the destroyed revenge makes me so sad

Oh my god izzy telling stede about Ed nooooo

“You sent him to doggy Heaven” AWWW STEDE

OH MY GOD FELIX

“Those are the options?” “Bah bah bah bah bah”

“Girl how are you?” I LOVE HER PT 1000000

“I thought of opening an inn” awwww

STOP THEYRE PLAYING MAKE BELIEVE

OH MY GOD ITS THE RETURN OF JEFF THE ACCOUNTANT/INNKEEPER

“Okay 🫤 why you being like that why you being a dick? Jeff’s being really nice Jeff’s being polite-“

Jeff he’s giving you the most realistic customer service experience ever

HORNIGOLD STOP BEING MEAN TO JEFF

“Daddy issues” lmao

Well rip- OH SHIT HES BACK

Oh shit he’s not on an island at all like even that’s in his head damn

Damn stede

“Good food. Intercourse. Orgasms”

Her trying to figure out what he and Jim are lmao

OH SHIT GETTIT OLU (id also like to formally retract my statements abt Jim and the girl olus cool with it and they’re hot ok moving on)

Oh boy am I thrilled the scene w the rock was just in his head oh my god I was so scared for that

FUCK YEAH ED U CAN HEAR HIM COME BACK

EDWARD TEACH COME THE FUCK ON HURRY UP

Oh my god more flashbacks

THE WAY I WAS SO UNPREPARED FOR A STEDE MERMAID WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS GOING ON PHAHAHHAA OH MY GOD

That’s so insane oh my god

FUCK OFF ARE THEY ABOUT TO KISS

I PAUSED IT

OH MY GOD

I WONT RECOVER

OH MY GOD YOU SUCK

Well there go the credits don’t know how I’ll survive until the next episodes come out but cheers guys

My live reactions to season 2 (episode 1)

SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY KIDS READ AT UR OWN RISK

Holy shit I’m so excited

Oh my god

Oh my god

Oauxbwkxjwhz

LOVE THE BLACK SCREEN W A SHARP CUT TO THE BEACH 10/10

OMG WE GET THE STEDE AND IZZY BEACH SWORD NOW? SO SOON? YOU SPOIL ME OFMD

Omg he’s been stabbed this is for sure a dream sequence

STEDE THATS MURDER EVEN IF ITS JUST IN YOUR HEAD

“You absolute twa….” BEST DYING WORDS EVER ILY IZZY ALWAYS AND FOREVER

THE SLOW RUN TOWARDS EACH OTHER OMG

AND STEDES FACE AND HIS VOICE AND AWW BABY

AWWW THE WAY THEY CRASHED INTO EACH OTHER

“BABE” HA FOWIHXBWNA I WAS NOT PREPARED

“I KNEW YOUD FIND ME LOVE”

“Fuckin love the beard mate”

Oh we’ve started farting lovely

OH MY GOD I WASNT PREPARED FOR HOW ID FEEL WHEN IT CUT TO HIM WITH EVERYONE AWW MY BABIES IVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH

“Cant be worse than you moaning ‘Ed oh ed’ all night” ILY PETE

Iconic title screen as always

“DEAR ED” AHHHH

SPANISH JACKIE ILY

Instantly taking an interest in the Swede as we knew would happen but still iconic

Ugh I love Leslie jones did I mention I love Leslie jones

Nat looks so scared aww baby

I love wee John being security

And host stede aww baby

I live for black Pete dealing with working in customer service

And all of them tbh

Aww poor buttons he needs his ocean and Livy

I’m ngl for a second I was like “where’s Fred armisen- oh wait”

ITS THE I THINK OF YOU OFTEN LINE YESS

HELLO YES I ADORE IZZY HANDS HE CAN DO NO WRONG IDC WHAT YOU SAY IVE MISSED MY BABY BOY

Ahh the wedding

“Demon? *shakes head* I’m the fucking devil” AHH

Guys were only 6 minutes in and this post is already long as shit so buckle up (if ur actually reading it lmao my ass would be like nope too long”

THERES MY VICO HELLO VICO ILY AND MY JOEL FRY ILY BABIES

Ah yes ye olde put trauma in a box in lock it

Awww fang baby boy someone give him a hug find him Lucius

Omg it’s the “you dumped him” scene

“Did everyone get some cake” because he’s still our precious little angle

HE JUST SNORTED RHINO HORN IS THAT A THING WAS THAT A THING IN HISTORY HUH

NO ITS THIS SCENE I DONT WANNA WATCH MY BABY BE SAD

Yes hello I love Izzy hands I would protect him with my life little baby boy

Vico looks so done w his ass

Someone give my baby a hug

Ily fang

The tears in his eyes during “unhand me” aww Angel

AWW IZZY

CONNOTHAN O NONNATHAN WE LOVE YOU YOU PRECIOUS LITTLE BOY UR ABSOLUTE PERFECTION YOU ANGEL

I love the friendship Jim and that girl have

Oh shit Jackie

“BOO CAKES” JACKIE

Stede honey you’re not intimidating

“I know that guy we had breakfast together” “you’ll be having a lot of breakfastes together” “oh okay 🙂” ily Swede

HIM DOING AN ED IMPRESSION LMAO “could be. Could be mate.”

“You’re my hero” 😞😕🙂😏

Swede bein a cute lil double agent

AWW SWEDE “my time with Jackie has been the happiest of my life. Her love has helped me locate parts of myself I didn’t even know existed and reclaim others that I have long missed” ILY

“Tonight is my turn to perform the husbandly duties”

“That’s another toe” ED YOU STAY AWAY FROM HIM LEAVE MY BABY ALONE

“Who am I to you” aww Izzy Angel baby he’s accepting it OMG “I have love for you Edward” IZZY YOURE SAYING IT OUT LOUD IM SO PROUD OF YOU BUD

IZZY YOU DID NOT JUST SAY TALK IT THROUGH YOU HAD TO HAVE KNOWN THAT WAS A HORRIBLE IDEA

OMG AND THE SHIFT IN THE MUSIC AS SOON AS HE SAID IT

IZZY RUN

RUN MY BABY BOY RUN

“As a crew” OH EDDDDD

ED DONT POINT A GUN AT JIM

OR ANYONE ELSE

THAT INCLUDES YOURSELF EDWARD TEACH BORN ON A BEACH

“They think ya crazy” cackling his face omg

Go taika absolutely slaying this scene

The way the camera is all like jittery is so good

Jim’s like “beard” makes their chin look like… not caved in but idk like it looks like they have a rly bad overbite yk

“Everyone knows why” “I don’t. Enlighten me” “your feelings for stede fucking bon-“ *GUNSHOT* ARE U SHITTING ME EDWARD NO WE DO BOT SHOOT FRIENDS

OH MY GOD HE MADE FRENCHIE FIRST MATE HOLY SHIT

Oh my god Izzy my poor baby Izzy oh my god how dare you hurt my Izzy

LMAO SWEDE

“FUCK THOSE HAMMIES UP” LMAO

There’s like no way there’s actually anything valuable in that chest

WE GOT TO SEE HER TAKE A NOSE FOR THE NOSE JAR YESSS

OH SHIT INDIGO

“Now give me back my blue shit STEVE”

Susan’s hot

DONT HURT SWEDE

Oh good okay we’re cool

I feel like she’s lying tho

But for now we’re cool

AWW FANG

AWW JIM COMFORTING FANG

“WANNA HEAR THE STORY OF THE WOODEN BOY” AWW

Living for vico using they them for the puppet

“DO THE VOICE” AWW

OMG VICO THATS ICONIC

AWW YAY THEYRE LAUGHING NOW THOSE ARE MY BABIES YAY

Living for buttons reuniting with the ocean

Okay roll credits cheers yall see you next episode

[hoshiwhxre]

oh shuT UP get away DEMON

[zetterbabe]

CHARLIE FUCKING COYLE

👏👏👏👏👏

[ykkkkbabee]

BRO THIS NIGGA SO FUNE LEMME SUCK UR DICK BROO

sleep 💤

[blcises-blog]

[ zoey 101 vc ] are u ready ?? … yikEs okie dokie this is my messy intro post so u pretty peaches can get to know my uglie child blaise. - tbh i’m just preparing u for him because #godcomplex anyway…. .. here we go. so hey it’s meme britt ur neighborhood smol bean and i’m v v excited to be here like hot dog u have no idea the thrill high i’m buzzing on rn i’m just sfdhig o k anyways onto the person ur actually here to read abt aka the one and only blaise eugene rolando jensen…. the third……

• so blaise is a person, am i rite? ( u don’t know how fucking tempted i was to just leave it at that tbh but i promise im not a straight up savage cuz i’m not straight ……. or a savage ) anyway, uh, if u want the short & simple answer: he’ll fite anyone if someone riles him up and he’s an uber driver by day but burg dealer by night. cool beans ? cool beans.

• now if u’re in it for the long haul, lemme tell u a thing. ( this ) is him on the outside but ( this ) is him on the inside, u feel. he thinks he’s invincible ( but it’s a fake af god complex and just a facade ) and nothing can hurt him and i’m a man. but is literally a lil bean that needs to be held but will let no one hold him. try. i dare you.

• oH and bc of the lack of nurturing love in his life, blaise was just a lil hellraiser and grew up to embrace his lunacy persona rather than hide away and bottle it all up. he found sufficient enough ‘love’ in the beds of various girls/guys his age & older women (lbr he has major mommy issues) bc that’s all he ever rly knew i mean???? he doesn’t understand what real love is bc he’s never been exposed to it like….it’s unnatural to him idk but ANYWAY so he was a lil shit / the most melodramatic fucker to exist tbH • blaise isn’t straight lmfao he’ll fck anything that breathes his pansexual ass doesnt care. but for the sake of it all, he’ll platonically suck a bro off and say no homo after. do with that what u will. ohhh alsO he thinks he’s amazing in bed and will do anything to prove u otherwise ( hey, maybe he is. maybe he isn’t. u’ll just have to find out. )

• he’s also a hOE – like he’s so horny that he’s probs put his dick in a bag of cheetos at some point lxjnlkjdlkd • speaking of school. ( we weren’t but. ) high school was just mediocre grades. not horrible, not the best. got into an okay college that i have yet to think of or find. his major, u ask? his dumb ass hasn’t decided on a major yet but he probs never will cuz his life is on a downward spiral soo…. ..funnily enough, he’s obsessed with the v/h/s films tho. and he’s all about filming things on his iphone and archiving them on his laptop. so far it mostly consists of parties, nighttime illegal activities and his sexual endeavors bc he’s a provocative lil nugget whOOPs.

if u read all of this then ur a trooper n i like that ! anyway like this and i’ll falcon-punch my way into ur ims to plot! or u know!! just hit ur girl up whichever!! xx

wow edit: if u haven’t read it ( lmfao i dont blame u ) i’ll just summarize it for ya:  he’s a flighty motherfucker and will fight anyone. especially those who hurt the ones he cares about most. but lol that isn’t many people so like. he’ll fight on a dare. he’ll fight if u piss him off or annoy him. so like. don’t do it and u won’t get ~smacked~

[derevosky]

jearmin roadtrip au

this is just a throwback of tinkerlu. she deactivated her tumblr wherein her tumblr is full of treasures especially jearmin like gosh i really miss her.

anyway here’s her fic:

ok so armin’s senior year of high school has just ended and holy fuck is that exciting. he’s so exCITED WOAH. he’s so excited. so. so like the plan is that hanji and levi are gonna be coming to pick armin up in about a week so he’s super pumped because idk he’s like. DONE WITH HIGH SCHOOL? WOAH. and he gets to hang out with his dorky but cool cousin and her scary fiancé and his BEST BRO EREN RIGHT? WRONG.

So eren is a really loyal dude right like. he’d do anything for armin ok. and it’s not his fault that like. his mom didn’t tell him she had signed him and mikasa up for some cooking classes man idk. (ANNIE WOULD SOMEHOW ALSO BE INVOLVED SO THEN EREN COULD HAVE A SUMMER ROMANCE TOO OK) carla is somehow involved in this whole “eren can’t come with u and hanji on ur trip this year” thing and armin is like. oh. fuck. so he’s like. well shit. cause he needs a new friend to bring and armin has lots of friends but. not really. ones that he’d necessarily want to spend like. 2 weeks with. in a car. with his nutty cousin yo. so him and eren have a sleep over every night that week to make up for the fact that they won’t be spending 2 weeks of a roadtrip together and armin’s like “EREN WHO THE FUCKLE DO I BRING?” and eren’s like. “shit idk reiner?” and armin’s like “reiner’s at his lakehouse with bert” and eren does the eyebrow thing and armin does the eyebrow thing back cause everyone knows reiner and bert are doing the do. so then eren’s like “YO I GOT IT. CONNIE” and armin’s like. HOLY SHIT YEAH THAT COULD WORK CONNIE’S RAD. BUT HEY. GUESS WHAT. TURNS OUT. CONNIE IS ON HIS UNCLE’S RANCH IN THE COUNTRY. LIKE. CONNIE WHAT THE FUCK. and connie’s like “sorry y’all” and armin’s like. fUCK EVERYTHING. and eren’s like. shit son at this rate you’re gonna be alone with levi and hanji that’s gonna suck. armin does NOT. i repeat. does NOT want to go alone at all because levi and hanji alone in the car together are bad enough cause they bicker like they’re already married and then they make out and argue and hanji’s laugh is cute but can get obnoxious and levi is so SCARY AND ARMIN LOVES LOVES LOVES THEM TO BITS. I MEAN THEY’RE FAMILY BUT. FAMILY CAN GET. VERY ANNOYING. but he also doesn’t NOT want to go on the road trip because??? ROAD TRIP. SEEINGS THINGS. SEEING. THE. WORLD. EXCUSE ME??? ARMIN ISn’T GONNA GIVE THAT SHIT UP EVER. NEVER EVER. and then suddenly armin feels so fucking dumb and he’s like. marco. and eren like snaps his fingers and he’s like POLO! and armin’s like. don’t do that. so armin calls marco and marco’s like. “sorry bud but my sister just had her first baby so next week is family time, i’m gonna go see the new babe, sorry sorry” and armin’s like “it’s ok freckled jesus, i know babies are important” and then marco’s like “one sec” and armin can hear jean in the background. and suddenly everything clicks together in his mind and he feels so LAME. BECAUSE JEAN. so armin can hear like marco say “jean do u want mac n cheese” and jean is like “helll YEAH” and armin’s like “MARCO. PUT. JEAN ON THE PHONE.” and marco’s like. lol ok. so then it’s like: "y-yo" "JEAN!" armin yells into the reciever causing jean to cringe cause WOAH NOW BOY UR VOICE IS LOUD "jeez, didn’t anyone ever tell u to use your inside voice? god my ears are ringing." and like armin ignores jean’s obvious annoyance. (annoyance that helped get them over the awkward greetings hell yea) "sorry i just. i can’t believe i didn’t think of this sooner!" "think of what?" jean and armin are not NOT friends but that’s not to go and say they’re GOOD friends either. at least. well. it’s more of a. they get along well and there’s a slice of sexual tension between the two that neither really understood so they both always just dismissed it as something weird "would you like to join me on a road trip with my cousin and her fiance?" armin can hear marco laughing (laughing at how jean’s mouth drops because what) "w-what?? is this some. dumb joke or?" "no jean it’s-" and then jean hears like. struggling and then he hears eren’s voice saying something like "NO. I’D RATHER U GO ALONE THAN WITH JEAN" and armin’s saying something like "EREN YOU DON’T EVEN DISLIKE JEAN AS MUCH AS YOU THINK YOU DO" and jean is like. "Armin. yes. whatever the thing you asked? yes." and he realizes too late that he let his competitive impulses take over and like. now he’s just agreed to go on a road trip with a (very very cute holy fuck armin is so cute and nice u don’t understand) acquaintance  right after he’s finally just graduated from high school. but jean is not a man to go back on his word and he did already agree so. he decides he’s not going to back out. no matter what. so then armin like. legit fuckin…sQUEALS and he’s like “THANK U THANK U THANK U THANK U THANK U OH MY GOD JEAN WE’RE GONNA HAVE A LOT OF FUN I PROMISE I PROMISE OMFGMFGOMFGOM THANK THANK” and he like hangs up (he doesn’t even tell jean the details omf) and then marco is smiling at jean like, marco has a fricken apron on that says something really lame cause marco’s the type to wear a lame apron (and still look so kawaii) and he like and he’s like "looks like ur summer isn’t gonna be as boring as you thought huh?" cause jean really didn’t have any summer plans and jean’s like "omf ur so lame pls stop" and then him and marco eat mac n cheese and watch something like icarly because why the fuck not ————————————————————————————————- ok boom, fast forward to the day before the trip, so armin texts jean a list of the things he’ll probs want to bring and jean is like woah hello but he’s like “nah it’s cool” so jean is actually kind of excited about this trip because it’s either this or being bored so?? but anyways so hanji and levi arrive that night and they’re in armin’s house hanging out and hanji’s like “yo wheres eren?” cause usually he also stays there over night the day before they leave cause they leave at like 5 am to beat traffic idk levi’s weird about timing and driving and whatever. and armin’s like "oh no eren can’t actually come" and hanji like. does a double take and even levi is like. woah there cause he knows HE wouldn’t want to be a third wheel to his and hanji’s lovefest. and armin smiles and is like "don’t worry yo i got another boy lined up" and hanji is just. so smart she leans in and raises a brow and she’s like "ooh is he cute?" and armin blushes because "HANJI WHAT" because he never thought of jean that way? (liar) sure he might have stared a bit too long when in gym jean would take off his shirt after running for a long time or during the swimming unit he MAY or MAY not have stared at jean’s abs for longer than would classify it as a glance but. BUT HEY NOW. so hanji like. ruffles armin’s hair and she’s like “omf he IS cute isn’t he lemme see a picture!!!” and armin’s lIKE HANJI. but she gives him a noogie until he shows her pictures and jean has REALLY lame facebook pictures so armin’s blushing and all like “i swear he looks better in person ok” and hanji is like. laugh snorting because oh my god his selfies. but then there’s a picture of him and marco at the beach and she’s like “oh hey, he actually is hot, hello handsome” (then she does like a cat call or something) and levi’s like grinding his teeth because he gets jealous so easily but him and hanji already had a long talk about it (after he tried to punch a dude for trying to buy hanji a drink omg and hanji was like LEVI U LITTLE IDIOT but they still had wild sex that night cause they’re weird about stuff BUT THEN THE NEXT MORNING THEY HAD THE TALK U KNOW) and she’s like if u try and be a dick again like that i’ll punch ur dick and not in a sexual way so he’s like. oh shit no thanks. so anyways then. armin can’t even sleep that night because now he’s. having second thoughts because hanji reminded him that he kind. of. likes jean? not really! but. like he could. see himself kissing him. and liking it. a lot. like. ARMIN REALLY DOESN”T THINK ABOUT BOYS THAT MUCH BUT (LIAR) he came out of the closet a while back like. he didn’t really have doubts about his sexuality ok like. he remembers that he told eren and eren was like “what’s gay” (and armin had to explain it to eren i guess cause eren never pays attention to things idk he’s probaby always thinking about hot wheels cause that’s what boys think about) and mikasa was like “cool” so everyone was cool with it like. hell yea so armin’s real chill about it all. but he doesn’t usually like…fantasizing about his friends/classmates but he may or may not have had a few fantasies that starred one horsefaced fellow. so he’s blushing and like. OH FUCK HOW COULD I. FORGET. OH SHIT THIS WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA. CURSE U CONNIE FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO GO GOD CONNIE THIS IS ALL UR FAULT A PLAUGE ON UR FAMILY CONNIE A PLAGUE MEANWHILE jean is cuddling up to go to sleep and he’s like. thinking about spending 2 weeks with armin and he doesn’t hate the idea at all. he starts thinking about all his conversations with armin and he’s like. i actually really like this kid, he’s smart and sweet and kinda like marco but i don’t see him as a brother??? so anyways, jean then thinks about armin’s lips and he’s like. he also has nice lips. and then he’s like WOAH THERE COWBOY HOLD UR HORSES HAHA LOL THAT’S ARMIN WE’RE TALKING ABOUT HE’S A BOY YEAH LIKE WOAH CALM DOWN THERE JEAN JR. and jean’s like. woah there calm down. and so he has trouble sleeping too so he goes and sleeps in his ma’s bedroom (yeah he’s like 18 so fricken what) and he cuddles with her and she’s like “jean ur 18 u dumb shit get outta my bed” but then she strokes his hair and kisses his forehead cause she honest to god loves the kid even if he’s a dumb butt sometimes SO ANYWAYS. BOOM BAM SUN IS UP THE DAY HAS BEGUN so it’s the morning now. and armin is blushing and tired and hanji is loud and hairy and levi is like. everyone be quiet i’m trying to loudly pack up the van while mumbling to myself. and jean’s mom drops him off and she’s like “be a good kid ok” and jean’s like “yo i’ll try ma” and she smacks the back of his head and stares at him and he’s like “OMF OK CALM DOWN” and she drives away and then jean is kind of awkwardly standing by levi’s van and levi just. YANKS jean’s stuff outta his arms and is grumbling to himself and he packs it in the car. and hanji runs over and is like. “WOAH JEAN UR TALLER IN PERSON HUH?” and jean’s like “do i know you?” and hanji is like “no but armin showed me ur facebook pics last night” and armin LIKE. BODY SLAMS INTO HANJI AND HE’SLIKE “NO I DIDN’T HANJI STOP WHAT THE HECK HANJI LOL VER FUNNY” and jean can’t help but laugh because. maybe this won’t be as awkward as he thought and armin is so extra cute today oh. what is this. so they all finally get in the car and hanji is sitting with levi in the front and armin and jean are sitting in the roomy back and levi is like. “so jean, since you’re new to all this, i’m going to tell you the rules” and hanji like. turns around and in her best levi impression she’s like “there are no rules” and armin laughs cause hanji has the best levi impression like omf hanji. and levi groans and is like "YES THERE ARE RULES." and hanji is like. "omf ur such a baby" so then levi lists this HUGE jumble of rules like "no touching the car, no dirt in the car, no anything in the car, ur now allowed in the car" and jean is just so fuckin confused and hanji is like, just zoning out and then jean feels a hand on his arm and he looks at armin and armin’s like "just ignore him, he always does this, i think he’s just nervous about the trip so it helps him to pretend he has control over things he kind of really doesn’t." and jean nods because hey he can understand that kind of thing. so then they let levi talk himself out and then the car ride is pretty silent actually until they make their first stop to rest for the night it’s this nice little place and armin and jean share a room and levi and hanji share a room and like. jean and armin are about to go into their room and they see hanji grab levi’s ass as they’re closing the door to their own room and jean blushes so hard and armin just sighs because this is so normal for him. so he gets the door open and they awkwardly stand in their room and thank god there are 2 separate beds. so they get ready for bed and jean tries not to think about how kawaii armin looks in his baggy pjs and the fact that “ARMIN U. WEAR. GLASSES?” and armin’s like “usually i wear contacts” and jean’s like WOWOWOWOWOOW cause jean sure does like glasses. anyways. they go to sleep and it’s a rather uneventful night for them both (not for levi and hanji though ;) ;) ;) ) so then they set out on the road again but this day is much less awkward so hanji starts talking about the scenery and then levi makes a poop joke, like a real ass joke about shitting, and usually the car is silent after he makes them but JEAN. JEAN. FUCKING. LAUGHS. LIKE. SNORTS LIKE. AND. LEVI GASPS AND IS LIKE “FINALLY SOMEONE WHO. KNOWS REAL COMEDY UP IN HERE” and armin and hanji groan and jean is like “OMFG POOP” and then they laugh about bad jokes like. jean fuckin loses it and armin wants to be annoyed but jean’s laugh is actually really cute. so anyways then they’re just driving and it all looks so pretty and jean starts asking dumb questions like. “would u rather be a short man who looks like a man, or a tall guy who still looks like a kid” and THEN HE REALIZES HE. SHOULDn’T HAVE SAID THAT CAUSE. LEVI AND. THEN. HANJI STARTS. LOSING IT. SHE LAUGHS SO HARD SHE’S LIKE “I”M GONNA PEE MY PANTS OH MY GOD” and levi is like “fuck u jean” and jean’s lke NO I SWEAR. I SWEAR I DIDN’T MEAN U. and he just keeps digging a deeper hole for himself and he’s like motherfuck me and my big mouth and armin is laughing too though and that’s cute. and then they all settle down and jean’s like omf and then they get some fries and they sing or something idk. then they sleep in the car that night. ————— IDK SO. LOTS OF THINGS HAPPEN. YOU KNOW LOTS CAN HAPPEN IN THE DAYS THAT HAVE APPARENTLY HAPPENED ALREADY. but like. the next few days are really rad. jean already feels so comfortable with hanji and armin and levi and him and levi are actually like. bonding. and hanji and armin are talking and they’re watching levi show jean some huge-ass trees and hanji leans over to armin and is like "oh my gosh they’re actually getting along" and she’s smiling and armin’s like "who knew what laughing at levi’s poop joke could do for ur relationship with him" and then hanji tickles armin and his loud ass squeaks get levi and jean’s attention and then jean stares too long and levi punches his shoulder and he’s like "hey jean, you got a boner for armin?" and jean splutters and is like "WHAT NO?" and levi is like "lol yeah right, you sound like me when i kept sayin i didn’t like hanji." and then levi leans against a tree and is just watching hanji kiss armin’s forehead and tickle him and jean is standing there awkwardly and levi’s like "my future wife" and jean like. rubs the back of his head and he’s like "hah cool." and levi’s like "yo jsyk ur coming to the wedding. i’ve already decided." and he gives jean this. super serious look and jean like. is like. WOAH??? and he smiles a dumb jean smile and is like "hell yea bro" and then levi starts walking towards the other two and jean follows and is like  i think he likes me woah that’s awesome (yo cause everyone has heard stories about levi from armin and eren and the dude does not sound easy to get along with but hey. jean’s special) so then that night they’re all sitting on the end of levi’s van looking at the stars and hanji and armin keep talking about the constellations and then jean and levi keep inturrupting with like “oh u know what that one is? my ASS” and they’re such CHILDREN and then hanji smacks levi and he pulls her closer into his arms and it’s cute and then armin looks at jean and he’s like "hey jean? thanks for coming i’m really glad you’re here honestly." and jean’s like. "y-yeah…" and it’s like the right mood for a kiss and it’s very emotional but they don’t kiss (not yet) and then. suddenly. it’s saturday. and it’s almost been a whole week and they can’t believe it and it’s crazy. and they’re all. so. like. it’s like. they are all close lik.e after you have a sleepover with someone and you’re suddenly like best friends? that’s what it’s like for jean and them like. they’re like. like JEAN IS ANNOYING AND WHATEVER BUT WHEN. HE’S KIND OF. put into an environment like this he chills out and hanji and levi love him ok they’re like “omf i hope him and armin kiss” and they’re like, shipping them so hard and ANYWAS SO. SO OK. so then they make another stop for the night. they don’t stop at a hotel/bed and breakfast EVERY night, just when it’s possible. but this night it’s possible but. it’s like. some place meant for honeymooning couples. so levi and hanji are like yes pls but armin and jean are like ????? Ohouegh so anyways. levi checks them all in and the person at the front desk looks at armin and winks and armin’s like NONONONO U DON’T UNDERSTAND AND jean like. stumbles and he’s like “WE’RE NOT TOGETHER” really loud and the lady just laughs and she’s like “yeah right” and they’re so blushy and like. this is SO DUMB. LIKE. the place itself isn’t even like. that romantic it’s just like a small place idk. it has a hot tub outside. so anyways. armin and jean go into their room and it’s really embarrassing cause it’s obviously meant for a recently married couple cause like. the bed is the cheesy heart shaped shit and it all looks really crappy but it’s just. meant to be romantic or something like everything’s red and there’s a pack of condom’s on the bed or something like. it’s fuckin weird. and armin starts blushing and jean’s like WHAT THE HECK IS THIS. and they’re both so AWKWARD and jean’s like “i guess i’ll take a shower” and armin’s like “OH OK I’m GONNA CHECK OUT THE HOT TUB” cause he just??? but then jean is like "OH YEAH ME TOO ACTUALLY" cause jean loves hot tubs man. and armin’s like fuck no. but he can’t say he doesn’t wanna go check it out now cause then jean would know somethings up but there isn’t anything up!!!!??? AND SO THEY. AWKWARDLY CHANGE INTO THEIR SWIM SUITS AND WALK DOWN TO THE HOT TUB AND. armin just. GETS IN THE HOT TUB AS FAST AS POSSIBLE AND WOAH THAT’S REALLLY HOT. and he’s suddenly really excited about the temperature cause it feels so FUCKING. GOOD ON HIS SORE MUSCLES so he looks at jean smiling to tell him that but jean’s like. jean wore his shirt on the walk down to the hot tub right so he’s taking it off and armin’s like oh no abs oh no pecs oh no body oh no look oh no oh no oh no. and he looks down and jean gets in and is like. WOAH THAT’S SO HOT OHOAHOAHHeouYESSS. and armin’s like. blushing but he gets over it and they relax finally and have a little splash fight and it’s kind of dark outside but it’s so nice and there’s a small breeze and the water is so warm and they’re both relaxing and armin notices that there are like. smell good candles and he uses the lighter to have those and it’s like. so relaxing and they’re just. so. it’s so chill. and then. and then things get deep. cause you know hot tubs are where you talk about all that deep shit. that’s where like. they’re both just a little overheated so they’re not ENTIRELY in their full focused mind and they’re tired enough already to just. spill about everything in their life and they DO. so jean talks about his embarrassing childhood moments and his mom being really weird and annoying and how she caught him masturbating once and then armin asks him what he was masturbating to because he’s armin and then jean is like “OH MY GOD WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT TO ASK” and armin’s like “SORRY I WAS JUST CURIOUS OMF” and jean splashes him and moves closer to armin and like. leans in to whisper and he’s like “i was jerkin it to…weiners” and aRMIN. LAUGHS SO HARD. CAUSE JEAN WHAT HTE FUCK AND JEAN’S LAUGHING SO HARD AND He’S LIKE OMFG DUDE UR FACE AND ARMIn’S LIKE HAHAhahaaaaa OMFGgg and jean’s like. “nah nah don’t worry like, i was jerking it to like some hot chick i don’t remember” and armin’s like "lol why would i worry?" and jean’s like "um. like…idk? i’m not gay is what i mean." and armin’s like "Oh oh. oh. yeah yes." and jean’s like. does this awkward laugh and just. MAKES THIS WORSE AND He’S LIKE "cause. cause only gay dudes. uh. jerk it to dicks right hahaha" and armin’s like "yeah man i ONLY dingle my dangle to dicks like, that’s the ONLY thing, there is NOTHING else." and jean’s like. "haha. WHAT? ur gay?" and armin’s like "yeah man" and jean’s like OH. OH OH oH oH OH. and then it’s awkward for a second like. armin’s like. oh wait jean isn’t a dick about this stuff is he? and armin has a small internal freakout cause this could mess up the rest of the entire TRIP???? AND jEAN is like "no i’m. that’s good." and armin’ slike. THAT’S GOOD? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN. GOOD FOR WHAT DOES JEAN LIKE ME??? WAIT ARMIN DOn"T THINK THAT HE LITEARLLY JUST SAID HE’S NOT GAY ARMIND DON’T BE DUmb and they’re just LAME BOYS IN A HOT TUB AND THEY’VE BEEN IN FOR TOO LONG AND. SO. JEAn’s LIKE. hey now. and jean just. kind  of. looks forward and is like. "i lied. i was jerkin it to dicks" and armin’s like. "oh. cool." and then iT’S JUST REALLY AWKwARD CAUSE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO EVEN SAY LIKE. WAS JEAN JUST. TELLING HIM THAT OR WAS HE MAKING FUN OF HIM OR WAS HE TRYING TO TELL ARMIN HE ACTUALLY LIKED DUDES OR?????? ARMIN IS LIKE. GOING OVER THE CONVERSATION IN HIS HEAD TO TRY AND FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON ARMIN’S LIKE “ok jean told me he wasn’t gay because he didn’t crank his lever to dingles but then i told him i was gay and then he told me he does doongle the dongle to dickies? what the fuck” and jean is like "i wanna kiss him i wanna kiss him i wanna kiss him oh god what the fuck" and armin’s like "hey wanna get out now?" cause his skin is feeling gross and like. wrinkly and pruney and stuff  and jean like. jumps cause he was lost in thought and he looks at armin and he has no idea what he just said so he’s like. "ok" but neither of them. like. move to get out. and they’re both just kind of staring at each other and. AND. AND THEN. JEAN LEANS IN AND. AND. AAANNNNNNDD. THEIR lIPS TOUCH. JUSt. A TOUCH. AND THEY’RE BOTH. FROZEN WITH THEIR LIPS JUST. TOUCHING TOGETHER. JUST A CHASTE KISS U KNOW. and. it’s like. time stops like. woah there. and like. armin suddenly just. feels SO hOt LIKE. HE”S IN A HOT TUB BUT IT JUST FEELS HOTTER THAN THAT ANd HE JUST. KIND OF. STARTS LIKE. REALLY KISSING JEAN AND JEAN’S LKE OH. and THEY THEN THEY’RE JUST. LIKE. sloppily making out kind of (THIS IS LIKE. AN ENTIRE HIGHSCHOOL CAREER OF AWKWARD SEXUAL TENSION BEING LET OUT OK LIKE. DO U UNDERSTAND LIKE, THEY WEREN’T REALLY FRIENDS BUT THEY WERE LAB PARTNERS OR SOMETHING AND HAVE TALKED AND LAUGHED WITH EACH OTHER AND FOR YEARS HAVE TRIED TO DENY THE ATTRACTION THEY HAVE FOR EACH OTHER BUT HEY HEY THEY DIDN”T TRY HARD ENOUGH APPARENTLY HAHA) but they both don’t REALLY know what they’re doing to be honest like. they’re just. emOTIONAL AND TEENAGERS. And THEn they like break for air and armin’s like “OK WE SHOULD .UH LEt’S GET OUT NOW.” aND HE LIKE. IS GIGGLING AND FEELS DRUNK and just of slips while he’s getting out of the hot tub and jean tries to catch him but they both kind of slip BUT THEY’rE OK. and then they kind of like. run back up to their room like. omfg. and just. they get back into their room and are having like. a giggle fit thing going on like. a serious giggle attack and they both kind of fall on the bed and they’re laughing so hard and just. then you know like jean looks at armin and his cheeks are all flushed and he doesn’t have a shirt on and he just wow and jean’s like. “armin i think i’m gay 4 u” and armin’s like “jean i think that’s the gayest thing you’ve ever said” and then like. armin pulls him back in for another kiss and it’s really intense again right like. they get REALLY into it and. idk it’s just. very intense like. armin rolls on top of jean right and they’re kissing like woah there. LIKE YOU KNOW. WITH THE TONGUES. THEY’RE KISSING LIKE. WITH THE TONGUES WOAAAAH. and armin jUST SUDDENLY JUST. STARTS TALKING LIKE. ARMIN HAS THIS HABIT OF TALKING A LOT WHEN HE’S NERVOUS BUT HE ISN’T REALLY NERVOUS HE JUST. CAN’T STOP TALKING FOR SOME REASON (hanji has the same problem like when her and levi are making out she just. starts talking about science and stuff and levi’s like STOP OH MY GOD OR I’LL MAKE U STOP and then it’s like a fun challenge like, he knows he’s done good when he can make hanji shut the fuck up hell ya man ;) ) OK BUT YEAH. SO ARMIN JUST SUDDENLY STARTS. TALKING LIKE. he breaks the kiss and is like "jean i really really like your abs, do you work out a lot? what’s your workout plan do you eat a lot of vegetables? you’re a good runner i know that you seem like the athletic type too and i’ve always found that really attractive about you. gosh when i think about it jean i’ve always found you REALLY attractive you know like. I never SAID anything or THOUGHT much about it but. you’re just. very VERY much my type did you know that Jean?" and jean’s like. WHY IS HE TALKING SO MUCH HE’S SO CUTE?? and just armin is so embarrassed cause he doesn’t know how to stop talking and he’s just like. touching jean’s sides or something idk and jean laughs cause HEY THAT TICKLES. AND THEN ARMIN CAN”T HELP IT HE STARTS TICKLING HIM AND JUST. THEN JEAN IS LIKE (IDK WHAT’S WITH THIS AU AND TICKLING MAN IDK) "STOP STOP STOP STOP" BUT ARMIN WON’T STOP SO JEAN JUST. SUDDENLY FLIPS THEM SO NOW JEAN’S ON TOP AND HE’S HOLDING ARMIN’S WRISTS DOWN AND BOTH  OF THEM ARE SURPRISED AND JEAN’S LIKE. "oh. sorry hah" and armin just. is silent. and wide eyed and. jean thinks he must’ve just really messed up and then armin just. idk lets out some desperate breath that kind of squeaks at the end but like, a sexy squeak (I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SEXY THINGS I’m SORRY) and jean just can’t fucking handle it and he just. attacks armin’s lips and armin’s like. OFMOMGOFngn and jean doesn’t let go of his wrists and armin’s like OMF THIS IS SO HOT and jean’s like THIS IS SO HOT. and neither of them are actually like. that good at kissing but it’s just REALLY GReAT AND THEY’RE JUST. AND jean let’s go of armin’s arm’s SO HE can lower his body right so he can get his face closer and armin like digs his hands into jean’s hair and it’s just gettin real hot and heavy and JeaN’s LIKe HOT DAMN AND THEN AND THEN THERE”s A KNOOCK ON THE DOOR AND ARMIN LIKE ACCIDENTALLY HEADBUTTS JEAN CAUSE HE’S SO SURPRISED BY THE NOISE AND THEN THEY”RE BOTH LIKE. IN SO MUCH PAIN CAUSE ARMIN HIT THEIR HEADS REALLY HARD TOGETHER LIKE OUCH JESUS CHRIST. AND THE KNOCKING HAPPENS AGAIN AND ARMIn’S LIKE OWwwwww and he like. armin like goes to the door and. opens it just a crack and there’s some dude standing there. and he’s like. “your friend left this at the hot tub” and he holds up jean’s shirt and armin’s like. “oh uh. thanks” and then the guy leaves and armin closes the door and just. kind of stands there and holds up jean’s shirt and jean face palms because UGH. and then. jean is sitting on the bed and armin is leaning on the door and they’re both breahting really hard and looking anywhere but each other but finally they look into eachothers eyes and they blush and armin’s like. "uh. so…that just happened." and jean’s like. he like scratches the back of his head and he’s like "yeah. yes yeah. yes that. yeah…" and they’re both really quiet and then armin’s like. "so…" and jean’s like "soo…." and they just. armin like. walks over to jean and just. kind of sits next to him and then he notices the time and he’s like "OH SHIT. IT’s LIKE. 2 AM AND WE NEED TO GET UP AT 5 WE HAVE TO SLEEP" and jean’s like. yeah. so they like. get ready for bed and it’s really awkward but also not? but it is? like. they’re both brushing their teeth next to each other and jean like flicks armin with some water and armin laughs but then they both look at each other and blush and it’s AWKWARD BUT CUTE. and armin puts his glasses on and jean’s like “damn him and his cute glasses”  so then they’re ready for bed and. they remember that they have to share the bed so jean’s like. oh uh. shit. and armin kind of crawls into bed and looks at jean and jean’s like “you. you want me to sleep on the floor or something i mean like-” and armin like. grabs jean’s arm (HE WAs standing close to the bed) and just pulls him onto the bed and jean gets under the covers and armin like kind of just. idk. snuggles into him. and jean’s like. OH OUGMROFMIgm and armin’s BLUSHING SO HARD AND ARMIN’S THINKING AND HE’S LIKE “HOLY SHIT DID I JUST. CUDLE HIM WOW OH WOW I CAN’T BACK OUT NOW OMF WHaT I JUST TOTALLY DID THAT ON IMPULSE FUCMAOIGFGj” but then jean puts his arm around armin and. they both just. cuddle and fall asleep that way. mmmm. ——————————- YO BAM IT’S 5 AM NOW SO LEVI BANGS THE DOOR OPEN (he used the spare key to jean and armin’s room actually but levi’s the type that likes to make an entrance) SO HE’S LIKE. RISE AND SHINE U LITTLE SHITS. and armin sits up and he’s like, squinting, and his hair is all crazy and levi  HAS TO HOLD BACK A SMILE CAUSE EVEN HE CAN’T DENY THAT ARMIN’S MAJORLY KAWAII ANd THEN LIKE HE SEES JEAN GET UP AND HE REALIZES THEY WERE LIKE. CUDDLED TOGETHER AND LEVI LIKE. Smirks and he’s thinking like “oooh i can’t wait to tell hanji omf” and WOAH speak of the devil hanji walks past levi and into jean and armin’s room and she’s IN HER UNDERWEAR HANJI WHAT THE FUCK. AND SHE’S WEARING HER LIKE. SEXY UNDIES (sexy to levi at least idk how sexy they actually are he just thinks she’s sexy in general and he doesn’t even know why) aND HE ACTUALLY IS LIKE “HANJI WHAT” and she;s like "they’re just underwear levi don’t freak out. I wear bikinis like. it’s the same basically kind of" and LEVI IS LIKE. NONONOONONONOONONONONONNONONONONONO and he like. GRABS HER ARM AND PULLS HER BACK TO THEIR ROOM AND THEN. HE LKE. CLoess the door and he’s like "ARE YOU. WHAT THE. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU" and hanji’s like "TAKE A CHILL PILL BUD" and she’s about to walk away but levi like. grabs her face and pulls her close and he’s like "hanji. even if. you think it’s fine to walk around in ur sexy undies. eVEN IF YOU THINK THAT’S FINE. THINK ABOUT ME TOO OK LIKE??? I DON’T WANT OTHER PEOPLE SEEING HOW SEXY U ARE LIKE. I MEAN. I. I WANT TO BE THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES UR UNDIES HANJI" and hanji blushes (they’re really weird) and she’s like "omf i didn’t even think about taht" and levi’s like. "just don’t do it again" and hanji’s like. hey now. and she like. jumps him and he catches her and they make out and do sexy things. SO BACK TO THE BOYS. so they get up and get ready and are all set and they close the door behind them at the same time that levi and hanji open their door and like. it’s so obvious that they were just up to something cause levi’s face is flushed and hanji’s hair is messier than usual and they’re both just. a total mess. and jean is like. woahmg HOLY SHIT OK SO. THEY GET BACK IN THE CAR AND THEY”RE DRIVING AND THAT DAY IS PRETTY UNEVENTFUL HONESTLY. (armin and jean almost kind of act like their little make out thing never happened but like, not really cause they’re both really extra awkward around each other but it’s not terrible) BUT THEN. THEY SLEEP IN THE CAR THAT NIGHT AND THEN. THEY FINALLY. GET TO THE BEACH. OH YES. THE BEACh THAT’S RIGHT. THE BEACh YO YOOYOOYOYOOY BEACH BEACH BEACH AND ARMIN IS LIKE FUCK YES THE OCEAN FUCK ME AND HE LIKE RUNS AND GOES TO THE LITTLE CHANGING AREA AT THIS PARTICULAR BEACH AND HE PUTS HIS SUIT ON AND JUST SLAM BAM THANK YA MAM he jUMpS in the water and god armin fucking loves the ocean wow. and jean is just like. “what.” and hanji is like “I’m GONNA LOOK AT ROCKS” and then levi’s like “they really like the ocean this is like the highlight of the trip” and he like. slaps jean’s back and he’s like “good luck” and jean’s like “GOOD LUCK WITH WHAT LEVI. WITH WHAT????” but anyways so they all change into their suits and shit and armin’s like. enjoying himself so much just swimming in the goddamn ocean and then hanji joins him and OMF IT’S AN ANIME BEACH EPISODE. like. jean doesn’t konw if he wants to get in and LEVI. PICKS HIM UP AND THROWS HIM IN THE WATER AND JEAN’S LIKE “NEIGH” and levi like. GETS in the water and they’re all splashing around and having fun like. they’re having real ass fun man like. the fun that you like. just don’t even have like. THEY’RE HAVING SO MUCH FUN THAT LEVI. IS LIKE. SUPER CLOSE TO SMILING OK. THAT’S LIKE. THAT NEVER HAPPENS. and jean loosens up again and he puts armin on his shoulders and hanji sits on levi’s shoulders and they do a chicken fight thing u know the thing they do in the pools in those movies and whatever and then they get out and are laying in the sun and they brought towels and then levi and hanji are like “we gonna go get some hot dogs yo u want some” and the boys are like “hell yeah” so levi and hanji go and then it’s just armin and jean. and. armin is like. “do u ever imagine being a plant and just. using photosynthesis” and jean is like "i think i really like you" and they both. freeze and like. armin’s like omfg and jean’s actually turning red and it ain’t from sunburn honey. and he’s like "i. idk why i uh. wow" and armin’s like. "do u mean like. what. what kind of like" and jean’s like "WHY DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN? ISN’T IT OBVIOUS" and then hanji’s like "WHAT’S OBVIOUS?" AND JEAN SCREAMS and then hanji gives them their hot dogs and armin still hasn’t said anything back armin’s just kind of. sitting there staring at the ocean and it’s real dramatic ok and like.   AND SO THEN LIKE LEVI’s LKE. i’m gonna get a thing from the car and jean’s like I’LL HELP and levi’s like. yeah ok whatever loser and so hanji’s like "so did u and jean kiss yet" and she’s totally joking but armin blushes and she’s like "OMFG U TOTALLY DID" AND ARMIN’S LIKE HANJI PLS and then she’s like "omf armin ur so cute" and armin’s like. HANJI no you don’t uNDERSATND. and she’s like. "yo then help me understand kiddo." and he’s like URHG and if he had a pillow he would stuff his face in the pillow and he’s like. "jean just told me he likes me" and hanji is like "oh? what kind of like?" and armin’s like IDK THAT’S WHAT I ASKED HIM AND HE SAID "ISN"T IT OBVIOUS" BUT I DON"T WANT TO GET MY HOPES UP YA KNOW? and hanji’s like but. you kissed right? isn’t that like. proof enough that it’s the kind of like you want it to be? and armin’s like “WELL I DON’T KNOW WHAT JEAN THOUGHT OF THE KISSING OK” and hanji’s like. omf armin just be happy things are how you want them to be for once jesus christmas. and armin’s like. “but…i’m gonna be i mean. we’re. COLLEGE HANJI. IS IT REALLY A GOOD IDEA TO. EVEN THINK ABOUT GETTING INTO A RELATIONSHIP WHEN. WE DON”T HAVE THAT LONG TOGETHER?” and hanji’s looks at him and laughs her fuckin ass off and she’s like "ARMIN WHAT? if anyone can handle that kind of thing it’s you! I mean heck, you know levi and i didn’t go to the same college! I WAS IN A DIFF COUNTRY KID, but we made it work!" and armin groans and he’s like "yeah well you and levi have known each other since you were kids or something so it was easier for you." and hanji sighs and she’s like "armin hon, sometimes you have to just, i dunno, have fun? take things for what they are and enjoy them as they come and even if you lose them later you can still be happy you at least got to experience them right? i mean you just kissed the dude it’s not like you have to get married right? but if you want to go out with him and kiss him more and he likes you i don’t see why not?" and armin sighs and he’s like. IDK IDK IDK IDK and jean is talking to levi and levi’s like “what the fuck is wrong with your face it looks like you painted it red or something what’s up?” and jean is like “have you. ever liked someone?” and levi just. stares at him. and is like. "no i’ve never had a crush on someone that’s why i’m fuckin engaged. jesus you’re an idiot." and jean is like "NO i"M NOT. I WAS JUST. I MEANT. JUST. WHAT. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU HAVE A CRUSH?" and levi is like "are you sure you’re 18? i don’t think you’re actually 18." but jean is totally serious and then levi’s like "oh my god you’re actually serious? you’re asking me for relationship advice oh my god." and jean just. stands there buT STAYS STRONG and levi’s just like "ok ok, what do you want to know you can ask me 2 things." and jean’s like OH FUCK THAT’S A LOT OF PRESSURE DUDE. but he decides to ask "how did you first ask hanji out?" and levi kind of. looks away and is like. "i didn’t. she asked me out” and jean is like…”oh” and levi IS LIKE “BUT I WAS THE ONE THAT PROPOSED TO HER OK.” and jean is like. “oh ok.” and then levi kind of. flicks his hair a bit and he’s like. "she. we. hanji and i have known each other since. i dunno, we were like, dumb 10 year olds or something, it’s been a long time. then when we were like 16 i realized i had a STUPID crush on her when my friend asked me about it and it was fucking ridiculous and. apparently she liked me too. so it worked out. cause she. showed up at my house at like. 2 am one night and threw a rock at my window and fucking BROKE the goddamn thing and. jesus christ she’s fuckin nuts. she broke my window and then said something awful like ‘DON’T BREAK MY HEART LIKE I BROKE YOUR WINDOW LEVI I MEAN IT’ like i was supposed to know what that meant. but whatever that’s how she asked me out and then by the second date when she kissed me it clicked and i realized we were dating." AND THEN JEAN LAUGHS BECAUSE OMF. HE CAN’T REALLY IMAGINE SUCH A LIKE. IDK. NORMAL TEENAGE LEVI BEING CUTE AND DUMB BUT WHATEVER and levi’s like. "kid honestly from what i’ve seen of you, you don’t think a lot before you do shit. so i don’t know why you’re thinking so much about this." and jean’s like "well. cause…ugh" and levi’s like. "just…follow your heart or some dumb shit." and levi gets the thing he needed from the car like. an umbrella or something and they walk back to hanji and armin and like. they sit down and armin and jean kind of joke around but it’s pretty awkward and then it’s getting late. so they go back and drive to some cabin near by and it’s awkward but there are separate beds this time. so both armin and jean are having internal battles with themselves to just get over their fears of what the fuck ever and kiss again because kissing was nice and why aren’t they kissing? SO LIKE. 2 MORE AWKWARD DAYS PASS and they’re like, already kind of taking the trip that will take them back home right? so like. everythings pretty calm and quiet and whatever and then like. then OH SHIT. FLAT TIRE. So THEY GET A FLAT TIRE OH NO. and so then levi’s like, what the fuck and hanji’s like what the fuck and then so basically hanji and levi leave to go walk to the nearest gas station (which is fairly close luckily) and they leave armin and jean in charge of the car. so the 2 boys don’t want to waste like. the car’s battery or whatever and it’s pretty nice out so they’re standing outside leaning against the car and like. finally armin’s like. "hey. jean so. i mean like. you. uh. so." and jean’s like. "yeah." and then it’s quiet again and finally armin just gets so frustrated with himself that he’s just like "JEAN JUST. GO OUT WITH ME." and. and then they’re both quiet again save for like, armin’s heavy breathing cause he basically just shouted that and jean’s like. gonna die because omf. and just. armin just. is like. "SO WILL YOU?" and jean’s like. "will. will i what??" and armin’s like "GO OUT WITH ME WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME JEAN." and JEAN LIKE. SNAPS OUT OF HIS DUMB LIKE. ZONE OUT aND HE’S LIKE "AYEN" and armin’s like "WHAT???" and jean’s like "I MEANT YES SORRY I. I MEANT. YES. UH. YES. YEAH. UH. LEt’S GO OUT YEAH SOUNDS GOOD YES." and then THEY’RE QUIET AGaIN AND facing each other and like. then armin’s just like. "ok. good. GOOD." and he leans against the car again and jean leans against the car and they’re both standing there and. just. and. then like. another tense moment passes and then THYE"RE KISSING. LIKE THEY JUST START. KISSING LIKE. IT’S LIKE THE HOT KISSES MAN LIKE. WOAH THERE BOYS SLOW DOWN THERE LIKE, THOSE KINDS OF KISSES U KNOW LIKE THE ONES FROM THE WEIRD HONEYMOON PLACE AND jUST. armin’s like. thank the lord and jean’s like omf this is so gay and i love it and they’re KISSING and it’s GREAT and then like. then jean starts kissing armin’s neck and armin’s like “fuck yes” BUT THEN. JEAN LOOKS UP AND. LEVI AND HANJI ARE. STNADING JUST. LIKE. STANDING THERE AND. ARMIN is like “JEAN WHY. DID YOU STOP I’M GONNA RIP UR CLOTHES OFF ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, WHY’D U STOP” and then levi coughs and armin squeals and is like.  he is suddenly like. 10 feet away from jean and he’s trying to act innocent and he’s like "H-HELLO" and levi just sighs and starts fixing the tire and hanji just kind of winks really weirdly at them and she walks up to levi and is like "u owe me 20 bucks mister" and levi just like. gives her the money and groans and jean and armin are confused and hanji’s like "levi was betting that you guys wouldn’t be kissing but i was like, OH YES THEY WILL BE" and armin and jean blush and feel so DUMB but are so happy and they get back in the car and the tires all fixed and they’re all ready to go and like. armin and jean are holding hands and it’s really cute AND SO THEN YOU KNOW LIKE. TIME PASSES AND THEy”RE ALMOST HOME and like jean and armin have kissed a few more times but they haven’t had anymore like ravenous makeouts and they’ve cuddled and shit and it’s CUTE as FUCK and anyways then. they’re home. and the road trip is over. and like. levi and hanji like. drop jean and armin at armin’s house and then drive away back to their place that’s like an hour away or something. and so then like. armin and jean just kind of go hang out at armin’s house and armin’s gpa isn’t home and so. hey. they like go and kiss but then jean’s mom comes and jean has to leave and he’s like. “thank u for inviting me” and armin’s like “anytime” and jean leaves and armin just. DOESn”T KNOW WHAT TO DO HE DOES A HAPPY DANCE AND JEAN IMMEDIATELY CALLS MARCO AND IS LIKE “MARCO MARCO MARCO MARCO MARCO MARCO” and marco’s like “OH jEEEEZ” and then idk. i’m just gonna end it there but then the sequel that i wanna type up too would be hanji and levi’s wedding ;) and also like. college and what the fuck would happen with that shit idk man this is lame and long already i spent too long on this i should be embarrassed but i’m like. not at all. OK. OK THANKS FOR. READING THAT LIKE. IF YOU READ THAT WHOLE THING WOAH. I’m LIKE WOW MAN. GOOD FOR YOU LIKE HOLY SHIT. I didn’t even read the whole thing and i wrote it like what. ok. omfok. I’m DONE NOW

[ghosthierophant]

feat. last year’s dungeon cove & the regular show’s recap show

also featuring some jake anderson astrology bc i felt like it

Welcome to Newport:

aite the same stuff i just watched but with Insider Facts!

less than a year? wow

ALGAE BLOOM

ACID OUTBREAKS

26 & wnts to be in the wheelhouse aaay

shrimp

go to school or fish lol

/ LITERALLY jumps ships

that remade mag 7 was Actually Rly Good

The Strip

The Bar

yike

y ik e

“relocated” sure ok 

i’ll ignore the ndn tidbit that oversimplify for now

Former Employers

DISTANT lol

#scrappy

Superior Time Zones

ah yes Child Struggles

... hi hillary

tfw trum,,,,,,,,,,,,,p

cutes

bfasts

tfw no coffee

i need subtitles for a hot second hold up

aw shit it’s behind nvm

tfw no crab

CALIFORNIA DERBY HYPE

DON’T TELL HIM WHERE

“the little boat that could” / turns off

LOL FICKLE

hey at least they’re relatively close tto home, unlike alaska

ALASKA CORNELIA hi my dude be a captain

TRAVIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

omg travis

welp / takes a dump

w e l p  tfw u lose shit

wellllllllllp tfw u catch no shit

WELP tfw ur about to die coming into the bar

HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU HAVE ON BOARD - ho w  fucking cryptic

............... god

oh lord

ooooooooooooooooh ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

UM

UMMMMMMMMMMMM

UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

ok but forreal Crab I’d Eat

lol the dissonant violin OST god

You’re Alive

Pretty Intense

sucks to suck for the bros 

/ boop

i couldn’t kiss the crab i’d Break Out into Fucking Hives LOL

she’s adorable

i love this ending song????

Legends Born & Broken:

is this just a recap show or nah

oh yeah... that one Big Wave was Fucking Wild

hi sig

#difficult - oh yeah the Alcoholism! i lowkey forgot.......

hi jake freaking out

you should go, zack

OH GOD THE SQUIRTING EAR OH GOD YEAH

/ throws under bus

UNSEEN FOOTAGE OF

Up & Coming

More Family Drive

Sean Dwyer the Kid, the Boy, the One

y’know... his looks is growing on me

god.... i really Did forget a lot of what happened literally last year lmao

lemme holla we both 23

best mom

/ christens

/ as well as it could

A Wise Man 

Greener Than Most

OH YEAH, BRITT

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

jeezus i was So Done

i’m getting War Flashbacks now

/ BREAK YOUR FUCKING BALLS

bye binch

lol he went for the neck

Jake - a kid, My Kid, if you will

Every Detail

/ does a dumb fuck thing on the side

In a Tote, Painting the Boat

/ takes him down

WHAT A DICK

lol i’m same jake

/ lol sig listens

/ kid complains about their dad

/ cork the old man

BOMB DROP THIS FOOL

love casey sometimes man

... is jake anderson a scorpio bc my ass would waste 10 hours to fuck over a fool too

HE’S NOT

LET ME DO HIS CHART THO

WORKAHOLIC VIRGO WITH MARS IN SCORPIO THERE WE FUCKIN GO MY DUDES

good lord 

lol sig: showed me his maturity level - coming from You, El Dude who’s Totally Been Mature & Not Petty With Him LMAO

i’m jake - that’s that self-effacing virgo shit 

HI ROGUE ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lemme get that dvd lol

hi edgar.......... bein a dick

Sig’s crew; 100% loyal to Him

the bus driver

/////////////////////////////////////// irritating

i’m nick lol

We Missed Daddy

/ calls sig

I REMEMBER THAT LOL

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// tells

I’m Nick as Hell LOL

actually i’m jake: wasn’t right or wrong lol

actually i’m Nick i WOULD be That Bitch lol I WOULD BE THAT BITCH

/ consult his crew that had already told

HI I’M EDGAR

I CALLED

that Weird Wave

almost quit.... yeah

NOT THE EAR THING UGH GOD

Most Disgusting Ailment

THE POPPING WAS SO FUCKING GROSS

GODODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Assist With the Cyst

THE NOISE

THE EYEWASH

edgar: gagging

THE GONADS

OH MY GOD I REMEMEBER THAT OH MY GODDDDD

MORE THAN A LITTLE PROBLEM

IT WAS SO BAD MY DUDE

“Oh!”

A GOURD

“OH, DUDE” - same

“wow” - same

YOU GOT TO SEE THIS C’MERE YOU GOTTA LOOK AT THIS - LOL

THE RECOIL THE OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH

I’M CRY LAUGHING AGAIN

/ coughing - lol

STICKY ONE - omg

BALLS OR THE JOB?  /pass on the job

now it’s time for Heavy Shit

Heavy Alcoholism

tfw keith gone

i remember the fuckin Fighting

now they’re Friends

now they’re Buds

a friend to talkk to

/ knocks on It All

support from friend

more vested interest in ur health lol

Big Boys

WTF WHO KICKED IN THE DOOR

WHOM

The Rookie Struggle

A Wild Card

Scary as Fuck Bender

tfw no control

They Never Showed That - WHY NOT????

START THROWING THE LINES

SEAN WHAT THE FUCK

/ out of here

... but also yikes here comes more problems

Hockey Temper

BEEP

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

/ ripped his own chair

/ throwing air

yes you Talk to Him lol

oh hey footage from 2007

Counseling GET OUT OF MY FACE FUCK YOU

Medications SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH

i remember the deckhand shit lol

MARS IN SCORPIO

FUCKIN MARS IN SCORPIO

i’m the same my dude

i’m the same i take everything personally like... it sucks... my dude... but when he explodes i just get Quietly Fucking Bitter & Resentful & Very Gross

YES YOU’RE THE SAME GUY SIG LOL THE EXACT FUCKING SAME

THE EXACT FUCKING SAME

THANKS FOR ROLLING THAT FUCKING TAPE LOL

watch him / watch you - watching yourself

“THAT’S HOW I WAS”

YOU FUCKIN IDIOT

blood pressure rising blood pressure rising

A Boy, unlike The Man Sean

& here comes the Boyest Boy I guess, Zack

.......... ugh......... i’ll always defend Zack tho lol

well Here it Comes

actually all these boats is family

Your Own Man

So Much to Do, So Much to See

NEVER BEFORE SEEN FOOTAGE

Log Book Footage

Good Intentions that then sorta meh’d

jeez this is just a Receipt Fest

A Hard Place

it’s just................ watching my mother &... it hurts

it’s my mother & me lmao,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

IT’S BOTH OF US - facts

/ derails with mother’s child

disrespectful to my mom yeah...........

/ insincere apology

HOLY SHIT HE’S GONE FORREAL? wow,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 

damn

let’s see how this goes

go be successful somewhere else tbh

prove him wrong

oh yeah The Fire

NERVOUS

/ everything that could go wrong did

Purple is Very Bad

fire’s a horrible thing

Hi Mr. Producer Man

YOU SAVED HIS LIFE

/ HUG, BROTHER

Damn Lucky

last thing i said: FUCK OFF

Mentor

none of y’all are young

STRESS 

He’s Good

many mistakes

A New One

yay sobriety! 

new boat?

........... sig?

: (

/ keeps driving you / that’s the part that’ll kill you

good shit my dudes good tv

GREAT FUCKIN NATURE SHOTS