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batwake · 5 years ago

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Muddle Through Somehow - reddie

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summary: Eddie doesn’t know Richie Tozier, per se. Eddie knows him just about as well as Eddie knows the Queen of England, or Jake Gyllenhaal. That was to say, Eddie knew very little about Richie Tozier and also knew a great deal.

or, the one where Eddie doesn't like Christmas and it is Richie's goal to get him to accept some holiday cheer.

Eddie had never really liked Christmas, all things considered. The decorations were annoying, the music was dull and repetitive, peppermint was gross, and the concept of Santa just seemed creepy. The Christmas of his childhood wasn’t the commercial, happy one that was constantly shoved in his face nowadays, either, filled more with awkward silence and advent candles.

Beverly and Ben’s annual Christmas party got bigger and bigger every year, and by the time they were well into two years of marriage and owned their own apartment, it was less of a casual affair between their small group of friends and more of a legitimate, adult house party, complete with their coworkers, extended family, and hors d'oeuvres. They had a real Christmas tree! And lights were strung up around the house and on the lamppost in front of the house, like they were in one of the movies they used to mock and take a shot every time something cliche happened on screen.

Back when Christmas hadn’t been so bad, when the six of them were in college and the party was just them, several bottles of alcohol, and shitty made-for-tv Christmas movies, Eddie had almost looked forward to this night.

Eddie looked wistfully over at Stanley and Mike, who were pouring drinks into clear glasses, not red solo cups like they once had. “I at least had hope that you’d be just as miserable as me.”

Stan, who was wearing a sweater that read ‘HAPPY HANUKKAH YA FILTHY SCHMUCK’ over a pristine white collared shirt, shrugged and passed his boyfriend a glass. “It’s fun.”

“I think Bev is starting to call it a non-denominational-holiday party,” Mike chimed in, looking pointedly out the door of the kitchen where the hustle and bustle of the party was. “But that might’ve been to piss off her ‘put the Christ back in Christmas’ boss.”

Speaking of, Eddie needed to call his mother. Sonia Kasprak was probably wasting away sitting by her phone, waiting for her son to call and wish her a merry Christmas Eve. Eddie’s face must have shown some sign, as Stan reaches over to pat his back. “Don’t think too hard about it, Eddie. Just drink and have fun.”

The pair left the kitchen after that, into the party that Eddie felt worse about attending by the second.

Eddie followed, unsure of what else he could do, awkwardly waving a hand or muttering hello to those he recognized and some he didn’t, towards the couches where those he really knew were sitting.

On the couches, Bill and Ben were talking animatedly to each other, probably about some building Ben is designing or an article that Bill has had published. Next to them were Audra and Beverly, looking lovingly at their husbands over glasses of wine. A familiar figure was splayed across the armchair, one long leg tossed over the arm and the other up on the coffee table, a Santa hat pulled over most of his face. Eddie knew who it was immediately, the curly black hair splayed underneath the Santa hat and trashy converse dead giveaways.

Eddie doesn’t know Richie Tozier, per se. Eddie knows him just about as well as Eddie knows the Queen of England, or Jake Gyllenhaal. That was to say, Eddie knew very little about Richie Tozier and also knew a great deal — like his curly hair and crooked teeth are immensely charming — but doesn’t know how he takes his coffee or if he has any opinions on Olympic figure skating. Eddie didn’t even know how Beverly and Ben knew Richie, only that he started showing up around their house a year ago and never really left.

“Hey Richie,” said Stan, leaning over and flicking the white ball at the end of the hat. Eddie took a long drink of whatever Mike had made him (thankfully no peppermint), looking at Richie as the man in question tugged the hat off his head and shoved his glasses back onto his face.

“Stan my man! I didn’t know the party had arrived.” Richie threw a careless arm up into the air, almost smacking Ben’s mother in the face. “L’Chaim!”

Stan and Mike sat on the floor between the couch and the armchair, leaving Eddie hovering awkwardly. Richie exchanged pleasantries with Mike and Stan briefly, before looking to Eddie. “Spaghetti! It’s been a while since I’ve seen you!” Richie swung his arm out again in an attempt to grab Eddie, but was too far away and nearly slipped out of the chair.

Eddie racked his memory to remember the last time he saw Richie. They’d only met a handful of times, the most recent being Richie passed out on the Hanscom’s couch, only awoken to Eddie dropping off some paperwork for Beverly. (They hadn’t said much to each other. Richie said that Bev and Ben weren’t home. Eddie gave Richie the paperwork and told him to have Bev call him. Richie, still slightly drunk from the previous night, had dropped all the paper on the table and fallen back asleep)

“It’s Eddie,” he said, choosing not to think about how little he really knew about Richie outside of all the times they’d run into each other in varying states of drunkness. They shared a long, lingering look before Eddie turned away, back towards the kitchen and far away from romantic holiday air of the living room.

The tiny balcony outside of Ben and Beverly’s apartment was cold, but at least it was absent of Christmas cheer. Snow was falling over the city of New York, lightly and not even enough to stick on the ledge, but it was a nice distraction.

The door behind him could be heard sliding open and closed, All I Want For Christmas Is You becoming louder for a few moments before quieting again. “I think I’m going to leave soon,” Eddie starts, looking over his shoulder expecting to see Bev, or Mike. He doesn’t expect to see Richie Tozier looking at him with a cocky smirk.

“Mariah Carey not your style?” Richie sat down in the metal chair next to Eddie, kicking his feet up against the brick ledge.

“Christmas music, in general, isn’t my style.”

Richie looks aghast. “At all? No Frosty the Snowman or Blue Christmas?”

“No.” Eddie forces his gaze away from Richie, who is being swallowed by a green army coat that he wasn’t wearing earlier. At least the Santa hat is gone. If Eddie closed his eyes and forced his brain away from this stupid balcony, he could almost pretend he was at home by himself and it wasn’t Christmas eve anymore.

“What about How The Grinch Stole Christmas? You’re acting a lot like him.” Eddie rolled his eyes and kicked at one of the legs of the chair Richie was on. “Oh, come on. There’s gotta be a Christmas song you like.”

Eddie gave Richie a flat look. “Why are you out here?”

Shrugging, Richie glances over at him. Blue eyes meet Eddie’s brown ones. “Cause I feel like it. Why do you hate me?”

The question is abrupt, making Eddie’s eyebrows shoot up. He sputters a little, then, “I don’t hate you.”

“You act like you do.”

“I don’t know you!”

Richie sits up and leans over the ledge, looking down at the empty street below them. He doesn’t sound angry, or upset. Just curious. “I’d like you to know me.”

Eddie feels the urge to kick his chair again. “I still don’t understand why you’re out here.”

Throwing his hands up again, Richie looks over at him. There’s a smile on his face. “That’s what someone who hates me would say!”

“You’re impossible.”

“Come on, ask me anything.”

Quiet befalls them. Eddie isn’t sure what to say. After a few minutes pass, neither of them moving to further the conversation (Eddie too nervous, Richie seemingly content to sit in uncomfortable silence), Eddie stands. “Well, I’m going to leave now.”

Richie stands too. “I’ll walk with you.” His smile lights up the dimly lit balcony. “We’re going to be friends even if I die trying, Spaghetti.”

Eddie very quickly learns that Richie talks endlessly. That’s not so much a surprise, they’ve met on multiple occasions, after all, but he hadn’t been expecting this. Incessant babble and chatter. As soon as they’re out of the building Richie launches into the story of the time he met a magician in the park around the corner, or when he got food poisoning from the Thai restaurant a few blocks over. Eddie isn’t bothered so much. It’s a nice distraction.

Every once in a while Richie reaches up and shakes the snow out of his curly hair. Eddie isn’t ashamed to admit that it’s cute.

“So,” Richie starts after he finishes explaining his brief stint as his high school football team’s quarterback, “thought of a Christmas song you like yet?”

“Surprisingly, no.” Eddie kicks a chunk of snow across the sidewalk and into the road, watching as it breaks into pieces. “No such exist.”

Richie steps in front of Eddie, stopping both of them in their tracks. Richie takes advantage of their height difference and grabs Eddie by the shoulders, shaking him. “Edward Joseph Kasprak—”

“Not my middle name.”

“—I swear to God by the end of the night, not only will we be very best friends, you will like a Christmas song.”

Eddie wiggled himself free and stepped around Richie. “Whatever you say. Say, how do you take your coffee?”

Turns out Richie Tozier takes his coffee with extensive cream and sugar. The twenty-four-hour coffee shop is luckily open, but Eddie and Richie are the only customers at ten pm on Christmas Eve. They leave quickly after they get their drinks, not wanting to bother the poor teenage girl behind the counter who looked ready to commit second-degree murder when they walked in.

“Do you have any opinions on Olympic figure skating?” asks Eddie, once Richie has fallen back into step with him after holding the door open.

Richie doesn’t hesitate to answer. “I have a framed photo of Tonya Harding.” Eddie snorts into his coffee. Richie continues, “okay, maybe not, but I do love that woman.”

They sit on a bench and drink their coffee, Richie naming as many Christmas songs as he can find.

“Most Wonderful Time Of The Year?”

“It’s not.”

“Last Christmas?”

“It’s basically every other breakup song, why does it have to be Christmas themed?”

“Dominic The Donkey?”

Eddie rolled his eyes as he took a long sip.

“Jingle Bells? Sleigh Ride?”

“Sleigh bells are tacky.”

“Silver Bells.”

“Blegh. Reminds me of my mother.”

“Baby It’s cold outside.”

“Rape-y.”

“Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas.”

Pause. Eddie thinks for a moment. Then, “don’t know it.”

Richie, who had been scrolling through a list on his phone, honest to God, throws the damn thing. Eddie jumps at the sound of the phone hitting the concrete, his fingers tightening around the paper cup. “Jesus Christ, why did you do that?”

Richie walks over to grab it from where it landed by a trash can. The screen doesn’t appear any more cracked than it had been, which was to say, it was cracked quite a bit, but Richie doesn’t seem so bothered. Instead, he sits back on the bench, closer to Eddie than he was previously. “I can’t believe you don’t know this one.” He hums a high and sweet tune, looking expectantly at Eddie.

Shrugging his shoulders, Eddie leans his head back to look towards the sky so his face won’t be so close to Richie’s.

“We are listening to this right the fuck now.”

Eddie could feel Richie’s breath on his neck, and his arm on his back where it rested on the back of the bench. Snowflakes landed on his face, the warm flush of his cheeks causing them to melt immediately. Eddie wondered if Richie was having the same hyper-awareness.

Apparently not, as the song in question started to play once Richie pulled it up on his phone, tinny and small through the speakers.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas, let your heart be light, next year all our troubles will be out of sight. Have yourself a merry little Christmas, make the yuletide gay. Next year all our troubles will be miles away.

Eddie finally looked back down at Richie, who was humming along. His glasses were foggy.

“I like it,” said Eddie, looking away and focusing on the music. It was sweet. Wasn’t commercialized or overdone or extraordinary. Eddie could close his eyes and imagine himself wrapped up in a blanket by the fire, Richie beside him telling him stories, this song playing on a record far away.

Jesus, Richie was turning him soft. They hadn’t even really been friends two hours ago. Now, Eddie felt like he knew more about Richie than any other person he’d met. He knew about the route Richie takes to work, how he met Beverly on the long train ride, and his two cats (“Thor and Loki, cutest cats in the world. Don’t tell Loki he’s adopted, though.”). Minute details, like Richie’s habit of tugging on the curls that hang around the right side of his face, or that his phone password was 742443, but he messes it up a lot.

“You’ve officially accomplished one of your goals tonight,” Eddie whispered once the song was over and Richie was shoving his phone into his coat pocket.

“What, are we not best friends yet?”

Eddie hums.

“There will be a quiz at the end of the night, Edward. You better hit the books.” Richie jumps as Eddie hits his arm. “Not what I meant.”

As he goes to stand, Eddie extends his hand. “We’re almost to my apartment. And it’s almost midnight, which means that it’s almost Christmas.”

Richie’s eyebrows raise and he doesn’t comment right away. Instead, he slides his cold fingers into Eddie’s and follows his lead. He waits until after they’ve turned the corner to say, “why do you hate Christmas so much?”

Thinking, Eddie tries to keep himself grounded by focusing on Richie’s hand, its warmth slowly starting to spread from where they connect and through Eddie’s body. “The Christmas of my childhood was always just my mother shoving religion down my throat. In high school and college it always seemed so lonely, the one time of the year where everyone was busy doing things with their family, so I was stuck with my mother. It’s just never felt like the good thing that everyone chopped it up to be.” It hadn’t always been so bad. After college, there were some Christmases where Eddie and his friends sat on the floor of empty apartments and ate shitty Chinese food, playing drinking games to Hallmark Christmas movies and exchanging homemade gifts because they were fresh out of school and too poor to buy anything. “Some were okay,” Eddie finished, sniffing awkwardly.

Richie nodded understandably, and didn’t push any further. “At least now you’ve got Judy Garland and me to put up with on Christmas.”

Eddie could feel his cheeks turning pink. “Yeah, I guess I do.”

They were quiet until they reached the building, then stood outside the building, looking up at it with their hands still clasped. Richie glanced at his phone, then looked over at Eddie. The snow stopped falling not too long ago, but Richie still runs his hand nervously through his hair, shaking away the snow that isn’t there.

Richie speaks first. “I’ll see you later, right?”

Eddie turns to face him, unable to hide the smile anymore. “We’re best friends, of course you will.”

Richie sets a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, shaking him lightly. “You get out of the quiz this time, Kaspbrak.” They share a long look, one of many throughout the night. Eddie nudges his way closer until they’re pressed flush against each other, only their bulky coats between them. They meet halfway, Eddie pushing up on his toes and Richie leaning down, their lips pressing together. It’s chaste, but warm and soft and perfect.

They pull away, with quiet promises to talk later. Richie kisses him once more, a bit more desperate this time, then stalks off in the other direction, yelling something about Eddie receiving a passing grade. Eddie really can’t keep the smile off his face this time, and wonders why they hadn’t been doing that all these months.

Once inside the building, in the lobby decked out in holiday decorations, Eddie thinks that maybe Christmas isn’t as bad as he thought.

#shut up mary #reddie #eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier #it chapter 2 #it chapter two #it 2017 #it chapter 1 #it chapter one #i need to pick a tag for these movies and stick with it christ #my fic

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singledarkshade · 4 years ago

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New Circumstances

Part Two

(Part One found here)

Waking up slowly, Miranda listened to the sound of the waves outside their cottage as she cuddled close to the man at her side. It was the last day of their holiday and she’d loved being hidden away with her husband without having to think of anything outside them. They had spent the past two weeks hidden away with nothing but sun, sea and sex. She’d even put behind her the night at the hotel and the woman they’d met there. The waitress of their favourite restaurant had helped with that two nights ago.

“Morning,” Rip murmured, pulling her close and pressing kisses to her shoulder.

Miranda smiled, “Good morning, my darling.”

Their gentle early morning kisses quickly turned into something much more serious, and soon they were cuddled together enjoying their afterglow.

“Do we have to leave?” she sighed as Rip slowly slid his fingertips along her spine.

Rip smiled, “You’re not getting bored?”

“Never when I have you,” Miranda murmured before adding cheekily, “And maybe another waitress or two to play with.”

He laughed, “Your favourite appetiser.”

“You know you’re the only one I have ever loved,” Miranda said softly, “That anyone else is just fun.”

Rip pulled her closer to him, “As long as you tell me and I get to join in every so often, I don’t mind you having some fun.”

“As long as you remember that you’re not allowed to have fun with anyone else without me,” Miranda told him, before letting out a squeal of laughter as Rip began to tickle her.

Rip checked they had all their luggage and passports for the flight while Miranda was taking one last walk barefoot in the sand. He knew they’d have to see what jobs there were now their holiday was over, but first he had to go see his mother.

She’d sent a message a few days ago asking him to get in touch as soon as they were able to.

It was odd because they had agreed times to contact one another as well as the set times he visited. The only time that he had visited her outside one of these was just after he married Miranda.

Rip had never imagined he’d fall in love, he kept any liaisons brief and never got emotionally involved until he met Miranda. She was perfect for him in every way and Rip had fallen so fast. He knew, just like him, her childhood had been unusual and despite the fact they were both broken, they fit together perfectly.

“Are we ready to go?” Miranda appeared, sandals in her hand, her long dark hair falling loosely around her face.

Nodding Rip grabbed their bags and they headed to check out before going to the airport.

Rip had never been a fan of flying but first class did make it at least slightly bearable. When Miranda returned from the toilet and slid into her seat looking self-satisfied, Rip smiled amused.

“Should I ask which flight attendant you got to know well?” he asked.

Resting her head against his shoulder, sliding her arm across his waist, Miranda replied, “I just wanted to see if the redhead’s lipstick suited me.”

“Did it?”

Miranda smirked and cuddled into him without replying.

“My mother wants to see us,” Rip told her, changing the subject, “So, I booked us a connecting flight.”

“It’ll be nice to see Mary again,” Miranda murmured, her fingers playing with his.

Rip frowned, “It will but…”

“But?” Miranda sat up to look at him.

“It’s odd for her to call like this,” Rip reminded her, “And I’m worried something’s happened.”

“There’s nothing you can do until we get to the house,” Miranda told him, “So, have a glass of something and relax. We’ve got two flights before we see Mary.”

Rip smiled slightly and pulled her close again, Miranda rested against him with a smile. She was right, he couldn’t do anything until they got home so he closed his eyes and rested holding onto her.

*********************************************

The housing estate hadn’t changed in all the years he’d known it, and Rip couldn’t stop his smile when the taxi drew up to the house he’d grown up in. He’d been taken in by Mary when he was eight years old after several years living on the streets, because he picked the wrong pocket or more accurately the right one.

Although he’d tried to run away several times, Mary had worn down his walls with her love and patience, finally he accepted her as his mother. Miranda squeezed his hand before sliding out the car to meet the woman standing waiting for them in the doorway.

“Hello, dear,” Mary hugged Miranda tightly, “You look wonderful.”

“So do you,” Miranda replied before stepping out the way.

Rip wrapped his mother in a tight embrace, happy to be here even if he had been confused by her call to come see her.

“Come inside, you two,” Mary ushered them, “I have fresh made scones sitting and tea is ready.”

Heading into the kitchen he’d spent many years doing dishes or helping make dinners, Rip smiled. He and Miranda took a seat at the kitchen table, they weren’t guests so did not rate the living room.

“Why are we here, Mother?” Rip asked once she sat across from them after serving them tea, scones and cakes.

“Rip,” Miranda scolded him.

“It’s alright, dear,” Mary told her, “Ever since Michael decided to follow in my brother’s footsteps, he only visits on specific days.”

“It’s what I’m good at,” Rip replied, hating that she used his childhood name, “And my choice.”

Mary held up her hand, “Let’s not argue, dear. I called you here because I was contacted by an old acquaintance of mine. He wants to offer you a job.”

“A job, Mother,” Rip frowned suspiciously, “You’re finding me a job?”

Mary rolled her eyes, “Actually this is a little more legitimate than your normal employment opportunities.”

Before Rip could say anything, Miranda rested her hand on his and said, “We’ll listen to the offer.”

“What?”

“Excuse us for a moment,” Miranda said, pulling Rip into the corridor and out of hearing range.

“Miranda…”

“We’ll listen,” she told him.

Rip frowned, “Why?”

“Because your mother is asking you to,” Miranda reminded him, “And we both know she’d like to see you much more.”

“Miranda…”

“Besides,” she cut him off again, “I enjoyed staying in one place the past few weeks, it might be nice. But,” Miranda looked up at him with a smile, “We will do whatever you want, darling.”

Sighing Rip nodded, “We’ll listen to the offer.”

Rip lay in the guest room watching his wife sleep beside him. Miranda hadn’t been as lucky as he had been when it came to foster parents. Whereas Mary took him in and loved him, letting him choose his own path (even if she didn’t like the one that he chose), Miranda had been exploited by the man who fostered her.

The first time they met had been an intense day. They’d been hired as part of a team to steal diamonds from a vault. Partnered together, the two of them had almost been caught because of the idiot who thought he was a mastermind didn’t check the security guard’s schedule. They were trapped for three hours in a small room until the shift change and they’d got to know one another very well. Rip never thought he’d ever fall in love and especially not so quickly, but Miranda was brilliant, sweet, mischievous, beautiful and was able to read him like no one ever could

They’d been together for almost two years now and he would not trade their relationship for anything. She was everything to him and since Miranda wanted him to take this meeting, Rip would do it.

“Why are you awake?” Miranda’s sleepy voice made him smile.

“Just thinking,” he assured her.

Sliding closer to him, she placed soft kisses on his chest, “I can stop you thinking.”

“You know my mother is in the room across from us right?”

Chuckling throatily Miranda murmured, “I can be very quiet. You know that.”

Rip laughed, “I know, I remember but I just don’t want to do anything within hearing range of her.”

“Then go to sleep and stop obsessing over nothing.”

Rip shifted slightly getting comfortable with Miranda tucked against him and closed his eyes, falling asleep with her in his arms.

*********************************************

“Agent West?”

Rip stared in amazement at the man drinking coffee in the living room with his mother when he and Miranda returned from their run that morning.

Joe West stood and smiled at him, “Look at you. No longer that small skinny kid I left here, and I believe you go by Rip now.”

Nodding Rip took the offered hand saying sincerely, “It’s good to see you again.”

“And who is this lovely young lady by your side?” Joe asked with a winning smile.

“This is Miranda,” Rip stated, wrapping his arm around her waist, “My wife.”

Joe stared at him for a moment, turning to Mary before looking back to the couple, “Your wife?” he shook his head, “I didn’t know. That’s fantastic,” he offered his hand to Miranda, “And lovely to meet you also.”

Miranda gave him one of her charming smiles, “And you.”

“Joe is whose pocket I picked when I was eight,” Rip explained as they all took a seat, “He’s the reason Mother took me in.”

Miranda smiled, “Of course.”

“Why are you here, Joe?” Rip demanded, he glanced at Miranda when she rested her hand on his.

Joe shrugged, “I’m here to offer you a job.” He held up his hand to stop Rip replying, “I’m very well aware of your skillset, Rip but I also know you are better than what you’re doing. Bouncing from job to job, stealing for people that would turn on you the moment they need to.”

Rip took several breaths to force down his anger, relieved Miranda was there to keep him focussed. Finally he asked, “So, what are you offering?”

“I’m putting together a consultancy team to work with different agencies such as Argus,” Joe explained, “You know Ray Palmer?”

Rip shrugged, “Who doesn’t?”

“He is funding the team as well as providing the technical team and base of operations,” Joe explained, “Your job would be using your infiltration and retrieval abilities.”

Amusement covered Rip’s face, “You mean breaking in and stealing.”

“But with the backing of a team and for a reason,” Joe replied. He stood, “I don’t have long to let you think about this,” he stood and turned to Rip’s mother, “Mary, may I take you for lunch to allow Rip and Miranda to think over my offer?”

Mary nodded, “That would be lovely.”

Miranda sat watching Rip pace the living room once Mary and Joe left them. She waited to give him time to pace off his frustration before stopping him.

“Tell me what you’re thinking?” Miranda asked softly.

Rip sighed, “I don’t know.”

Miranda caught his hand so that he would sit with her.

“It’s a tempting offer,” Miranda noted.

“It is,” Rip murmured, “But staying in one place, being tied down, I never wanted that.”

Miranda gave him an amused look, “What about me?”

“You don’t tie me down,” Rip reminded her before asking, “What do you think?”

She sighed softly, “I think that it might be a good idea. As much as I enjoy what we do,” she continued, “I hate working for people like Thawne. If you do this then it’ll still be fun but safer and working to stop people like him.”

Rip frowned in thought, “Are you sure?”

Miranda kissed him, “Have I ever told you a lie?”

Sighing Rip pulled her close, “Okay.”

When Joe and Mary returned from lunch, Rip and Miranda were sitting waiting for them.

“I’m guessing you’ve made a decision,” Joe said.

Rip turned to Miranda who nodded, “I have one stipulation.”

“Which is?” Joe asked intrigued.

“I don’t work alone,” Rip told him, “Miranda and I are partners in everything. So, if you want me then you hire Miranda too.”

Joe nodded, “Agreed.”

“Then we’re in,” Rip told him.

“Welcome to the team.”

#fic #legends of tomorrow #rip hunter #miranda coburn #mary xavier #hunterburn

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hermannsthumb · 5 years ago

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Thank u for my life maria....21 or 25?

from autumn fic meme here: 21. foliage viewing

HAPPY FALL!!!! this is my wish fulfillment au of “what if we had actual normal seasonal temperatures again and it’s not currently 90 degrees in late september” pls enjoy

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“I really missed doing this sort of thing,” Newton says. “It’s been years.”

“Mm,” Hermann says.

“I hiked here all the time when I was a kid,” Newton says. He rolls onto his side and flashes Hermann a smile, then points to the right of him. Hermann follows his line of sight. “I actually carved my initials into that tree right there.”

Hermann can see it: a large NG a few feet off the ground. Faded, but still there in the bark. “Why?” he says.

“Because I broke my arm falling out of it and I wanted to remember which one it was,” Newton says.

“Ah,” Hermann says. “Of course.”

Newton settles onto his back; a chilly breeze ruffles his soft hair. Hermann had not been all that enthusiastic about hiking out here in the first place--perhaps hiking is a misnomer, really all they did was walk through a dirt path in the forest and only have to trudge up a hill at the very end--but here, sprawled out on a soft blanket on the grass, bundled in scarves and sweaters, and with some of the loveliest autumn scenery swaying above them, Hermann can admit it really is quite nice. Though his company may be to blame. Lately Hermann’s found that he’s started enjoying time spent with Newton in any capacity.

“What are you doing for Halloween?” Newton says.

Hermann gives a short laugh. “The same as I do every year, I imagine. Whatever you manage drag me into.” Matching--or coordinating--costumes. Bad horror movies on Newton’s laptop while they both steadfastly pretend they aren’t inching closer and closer together on Newton’s bed all night. Apples stolen from the mess hall carved in lieu of pumpkins--pumpkins Hermann imagines will be far easier to find now. Perhaps they’ll have a legitimate jack-o-lantern this year.

Newton’s smile returns. “Good,” he says. “I just wanted to check. You’re gonna hate the costumes I have planned this year.”

Hermann sighs.

Another breeze ruffles the leaves of the trees above them, and a few finally break from their branches and float to the ground. One lands next to Newton’s head. “Here,” he says, snatching it up and passing it to Hermann. It’s bright orange, and fades to the smallest bit of yellow towards the stem. It’s pretty. Not especially unique. Hermann could pick up any other leaf on the ground around them and have it be mostly (if not completely) identical.

“What am I meant to do with it?” Hermann says, though he pockets it immediately (where it sits with several bits of interesting moss on pebbles Newton forced on him earlier--Newton is like a magpie with extremely worthless tastes).

“Make a scrapbook or something,” Newton says. He yawns. “I don’t know, dude. Get creative.” He yawns again.

Hermann narrows his eyes. “Don’t you dare fall asleep out here,” he warns. “I am not waking you back up. I will go home without you.”

“Dick,” Newton says. He curls against Hermann’s side, tosses his arm over his chest, and nuzzles against his scarf. His glasses are sliding off the end of his nose. “Five minute nap. That’s it.”

“Newton--”

“I gave you a leaf, dude,” Newton says, “and this is how you’re thanking me? I should just take it back.” He starts to reach for the inside of Hermann’s thin jacket; Hermann bats him away. It’s not an especially unique leaf, but Newton gave it to him, and he intends to keep it.

“Fine,” he relents, and Newton looks smug.

Once he’s certain Newton’s fallen asleep, Hermann wraps his arm around Newton’s waist and presses his body just a bit more snugly against his own.

#newmann #maria's fanfiction tag #hermannvapes

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annesoftheisland · 5 years ago

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The Green Gables folk went home after Christmas, Marilla under solemn covenant to return for a month in the spring. More snow came before New Year's, and the harbor froze over, but the gulf still was free, beyond the white, imprisoned fields. The last day of the old year was one of those bright, cold, dazzling winter days, which bombard us with their brilliancy, and command our admiration but never our love. The sky was sharp and blue; the snow diamonds sparkled insistently; the stark trees were bare and shameless, with a kind of brazen beauty; the hills shot assaulting lances of crystal. Even the shadows were sharp and stiff and clear-cut, as no proper shadows should be. Everything that was handsome seemed ten times handsomer and less attractive in the glaring splendor; and everything that was ugly seemed ten times uglier, and everything was either handsome or ugly. There was no soft blending, or kind obscurity, or elusive mistiness in that searching glitter. The only things that held their own individuality were the firs--for the fir is the tree of mystery and shadow, and yields never to the encroachments of crude radiance. But finally the day began to realise that she was growing old. Then a certain pensiveness fell over her beauty which dimmed yet intensified it; sharp angles, glittering points, melted away into curves and enticing gleams. The white harbor put on soft grays and pinks; the far-away hills turned amethyst. "The old year is going away beautifully," said Anne. She and Leslie and Gilbert were on their way to the Four Winds Point, having plotted with Captain Jim to watch the New Year in at the light. The sun had set and in the southwestern sky hung Venus, glorious and golden, having drawn as near to her earth-sister as is possible for her. For the first time Anne and Gilbert saw the shadow cast by that brilliant star of evening, that faint, mysterious shadow, never seen save when there is white snow to reveal it, and then only with averted vision, vanishing when you gaze at it directly. "It's like the spirit of a shadow, isn't it?" whispered Anne. "You can see it so plainly haunting your side when you look ahead; but when you turn and look at it--it's gone." "I have heard that you can see the shadow of Venus only once in a lifetime, and that within a year of seeing it your life's most wonderful gift will come to you," said Leslie. But she spoke rather hardly; perhaps she thought that even the shadow of Venus could bring her no gift of life. Anne smiled in the soft twilight; she felt quite sure what the mystic shadow promised her. They found Marshall Elliott at the lighthouse. At first Anne felt inclined to resent the intrusion of this long-haired, long-bearded eccentric into the familiar little circle. But Marshall Elliott soon proved his legitimate claim to membership in the household of Joseph. He was a witty, intelligent, well-read man, rivalling Captain Jim himself in the knack of telling a good story. They were all glad when he agreed to watch the old year out with them. Captain Jim's small nephew Joe had come down to spend New Year's with his great-uncle, and had fallen asleep on the sofa with the First Mate curled up in a huge golden ball at his feet. "Ain't he a dear little man?" said Captain Jim gloatingly. "I do love to watch a little child asleep, Mistress Blythe. It's the most beautiful sight in the world, I reckon. Joe does love to get down here for a night, because I have him sleep with me. At home he has to sleep with the other two boys, and he doesn't like it. "Why can't I sleep with father, Uncle Jim?" says he. `Everybody in the Bible slept with their fathers.' As for the questions he asks, the minister himself couldn't answer them. They fair swamp me. `Uncle Jim, if I wasn't me who'd I be?' and, `Uncle Jim, what would happen if God died?' He fired them two off at me tonight, afore he went to sleep. As for his imagination, it sails away from everything. He makes up the most remarkable yarns--and then his mother shuts him up in the closet for telling stories . And he sits down and makes up another one, and has it ready to relate to her when she lets him out. He had one for me when he come down tonight. `Uncle Jim,' says he, solemn as a tombstone, `I had a 'venture in the Glen today.' `Yes, what was it?' says I, expecting something quite startling, but nowise prepared for what I really got. `I met a wolf in the street,' says he, `a 'normous wolf with a big, red mouf and awful long teeth, Uncle Jim.' `I didn't know there was any wolves up at the Glen,' says I. `Oh, he comed there from far, far away,' says Joe, `and I fought he was going to eat me up, Uncle Jim.' `Were you scared?' says I. `No, 'cause I had a big gun,' says Joe, `and I shot the wolf dead, Uncle Jim,--solid dead--and then he went up to heaven and bit God,' says he. Well, I was fair staggered, Mistress Blythe." The hours bloomed into mirth around the driftwood fire. Captain Jim told tales, and Marshall Elliott sang old Scotch ballads in a fine tenor voice; finally Captain Jim took down his old brown fiddle from the wall and began to play. He had a tolerable knack of fiddling, which all appreciated save the First Mate, who sprang from the sofa as if he had been shot, emitted a shriek of protest, and fled wildly up the stairs. "Can't cultivate an ear for music in that cat nohow," said Captain Jim. "He won't stay long enough to learn to like it. When we got the organ up at the Glen church old Elder Richards bounced up from his seat the minute the organist began to play and scuttled down the aisle and out of the church at the rate of no-man's-business. It reminded me so strong of the First Mate tearing loose as soon as I begin to fiddle that I come nearer to laughing out loud in church than I ever did before or since." There was something so infectious in the rollicking tunes which Captain Jim played that very soon Marshall Elliott's feet began to twitch. He had been a noted dancer in his youth. Presently he started up and held out his hands to Leslie. Instantly she responded. Round and round the firelit room they circled with a rhythmic grace that was wonderful. Leslie danced like one inspired; the wild, sweet abandon of the music seemed to have entered into and possessed her. Anne watched her in fascinated admiration. She had never seen her like this. All the innate richness and color and charm of her nature seemed to have broken loose and overflowed in crimson cheek and glowing eye and grace of motion. Even the aspect of Marshall Elliott, with his long beard and hair, could not spoil the picture. On the contrary, it seemed to enhance it. Marshall Elliott looked like a Viking of elder days, dancing with one of the blue-eyed, golden-haired daughters of the Northland. "The purtiest dancing I ever saw, and I've seen some in my time," declared Captain Jim, when at last the bow fell from his tired hand. Leslie dropped into her chair, laughing, breathless. "I love dancing," she said apart to Anne. "I haven't danced since I was sixteen--but I love it. The music seems to run through my veins like quicksilver and I forget everything--everything--except the delight of keeping time to it. There isn't any floor beneath me, or walls about me, or roof over me--I'm floating amid the stars." Captain Jim hung his fiddle up in its place, beside a large frame enclosing several banknotes. "Is there anybody else of your acquaintance who can afford to hang his walls with banknotes for pictures?" he asked. "There's twenty ten-dollar notes there, not worth the glass over them. They're old Bank of P. E. Island notes. Had them by me when the bank failed, and I had 'em framed and hung up, partly as a reminder not to put your trust in banks, and partly to give me a real luxurious, millionairy feeling. Hullo, Matey, don't be scared. You can come back now. The music and revelry is over for tonight. The old year has just another hour to stay with us. I've seen seventy-six New Years come in over that gulf yonder, Mistress Blythe." "You'll see a hundred," said Marshall Elliott. Captain Jim shook his head. "No; and I don't want to--at least, I think I don't. Death grows friendlier as we grow older. Not that one of us really wants to die though, Marshall. Tennyson spoke truth when he said that. There's old Mrs. Wallace up at the Glen. She's had heaps of trouble all her life, poor soul, and she's lost almost everyone she cared about. She's always saying that she'll be glad when her time comes, and she doesn't want to sojourn any longer in this vale of tears. But when she takes a sick spell there's a fuss! Doctors from town, and a trained nurse, and enough medicine to kill a dog. Life may be a vale of tears, all right, but there are some folks who enjoy weeping, I reckon." They spent the old year's last hour quietly around the fire. A few minutes before twelve Captain Jim rose and opened the door. "We must let the New Year in," he said. Outside was a fine blue night. A sparkling ribbon of moonlight garlanded the gulf. Inside the bar the harbor shone like a pavement of pearl. They stood before the door and waited--Captain Jim with his ripe, full experience, Marshall Elliott in his vigorous but empty middle life, Gilbert and Anne with their precious memories and exquisite hopes, Leslie with her record of starved years and her hopeless future. The clock on the little shelf above the fireplace struck twelve. "Welcome, New Year," said Captain Jim, bowing low as the last stroke died away. "I wish you all the best year of your lives, mates. I reckon that whatever the New Year brings us will be the best the Great Captain has for us--and somehow or other we'll all make port in a good harbor."

Chapter 16, New Year's Eve at the Light, Anne’s House of Dreams

#anne of green gables #aogg #anne's house of dreams #HAPPY NEW YEAR #:)

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reddielibrary · 6 years ago

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Secret Santa: Mary | @allahlav

Gift for: Ray | @ethereal-eddie

Special Message: hope this fic is everything you hoped it would be! i had so much fun writing it! <3 happy holidays!

Word count: 2,762

Eddie looked wistfully over at Stanley and Mike, who were pouring drinks into clear glasses, not red solo cups like they once had. “I at least had hope that you’d be just as miserable as me.”

Stan, who was wearing a sweater that read ‘HAPPY HANUKKAH YA FILTHY SCHMUCK’ over a pristine white collared shirt, shrugged and passed his boyfriend a glass. “It’s fun.”

The pair left the kitchen after that, into the party that Eddie felt worse about attending by the second.

Eddie followed, unsure of what else he could do, awkwardly waving a hand or muttering hello to those he recognized and some he didn’t, towards the couches where those he really knew were sitting.

“Stan my man! I didn’t know the party had arrived.” Richie threw a careless arm up into the air, almost smacking Ben’s mother in the face. “L’Chaim!”

“Mariah Carey not your style?” Richie sat down in the metal chair next to Eddie, kicking his feet up against the brick ledge.

“Christmas music, in general, isn’t my style.”

Richie looks aghast. “At all? No Frosty the Snowman or Blue Christmas?”

Eddie gave Richie a flat look. “Why are you out here?”

Shrugging, Richie glances over at him. Blue eyes meet Eddie’s brown ones. “Cause I feel like it. Why do you hate me?”

The question is abrupt, making Eddie’s eyebrows shoot up. He sputters a little, then, “I don’t hate you.”

“You act like you do.”

“I don’t know you!”

Richie sits up and leans over the ledge, looking down at the empty street below them. He doesn’t sound angry, or upset. Just curious. “I’d like you to know me.”

Eddie feels the urge to kick his chair again. “I still don’t understand why you’re out here.”

Throwing his hands up again, Richie looks over at him. There’s a smile on his face. “That’s what someone who hates me would say!”

“You’re impossible.”

“Come on, ask me anything.”

Richie stands too. “I’ll walk with you.” His smile lights up the dimly lit balcony. “We’re going to be friends even if I die trying, Spaghetti.”

Every once in a while Richie reaches up and shakes the snow out of his curly hair. Eddie isn’t ashamed to admit that it's cute.

“So,” Richie starts after he finishes explaining his brief stint as his high school football team’s quarterback, “thought of a Christmas song you like yet?”

“Surprisingly, no.” Eddie kicks a chunk of snow across the sidewalk and into the road, watching as it breaks into pieces. “No such exist.”

Richie steps in front of Eddie, stopping both of them in their tracks. Richie takes advantage of their height difference and grabs Eddie by the shoulders, shaking him. “Edward Joseph Kasprak—”

“Not my middle name.”

“—I swear to God by the end of the night, not only will we be very best friends, you will like a Christmas song.”

Eddie wiggled himself free and stepped around Richie. “Whatever you say. Say, how do you take your coffee?”

“Do you have any opinions on Olympic figure skating?” asks Eddie, once Richie has fallen back into step with him after holding the door open.

Richie doesn’t hesitate to answer. “I have a framed photo of Tonya Harding.” Eddie snorts into his coffee. Richie continues, “okay, maybe not, but I do love that woman.”

They sit on a bench and drink their coffee, Richie naming as many Christmas songs as he can find.

“Most Wonderful Time Of The Year?”

“It’s not.”

“Last Christmas?”

“It’s basically every other breakup song, why does it have to be Christmas themed?”

“Dominic The Donkey?”

Eddie rolled his eyes as he took a long sip.

“Jingle Bells? Sleigh Ride?”

“Sleigh bells are tacky.”

“Silver Bells.”

“Blegh. Reminds me of my mother.”

“Baby It’s cold outside.”

“Rape-y.”

“Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas.”

Pause. Eddie thinks for a moment. Then, “don’t know it.”

Shrugging his shoulders, Eddie leans his head back to look towards the sky so his face won’t be so close to Richie’s.

“We are listening to this right the fuck now.”

Apparently not, as the song in question started to play once Richie pulled it up on his phone, tinny and small through the speakers.

Eddie finally looked back down at Richie, who was humming along. His glasses were foggy.

“You’ve officially accomplished one of your goals tonight,” Eddie whispered once the song was over and Richie was shoving his phone into his coat pocket.

“What, are we not best friends yet?”

Eddie hums.

“There will be a quiz at the end of the night, Edward. You better hit the books.” Richie jumps as Eddie hits his arm. “Not what I meant.”

As he goes to stand, Eddie extends his hand. “We’re almost to my apartment. And it’s almost midnight, which means that it’s almost Christmas.”

Richie nodded understandably, and didn’t push any further. “At least now you’ve got Judy Garland and me to put up with on Christmas.”

Eddie could feel his cheeks turning pink. “Yeah, I guess I do.”

Richie speaks first. “I’ll see you later, right?”

Eddie turns to face him, unable to hide the smile anymore. “We’re best friends, of course you will.”

Once inside the building, in the lobby decked out in holiday decorations, Eddie thinks that maybe Christmas isn’t as bad as he thought.

#reddie #secret santa event #allahlav

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flyswhumpcenter · 5 years ago

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Nurse Café - Chapter 3/6: “Brain in a Daze, Stars in Your Eyes“

PREVIOUS CHAPTER / NEXT CHAPTER

Fic Summary: Life could have honesty been simpler than that for Hokuto, a second-year Liteature major. There’s, however, someone out there willing to just make it easier on him.

Fandom: Ensemble Stars! (College/Coffeeshop AU) Ships: HokuAn (Anzu/Hokuto)

AO3 version available here.

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Chapter Summary: In a haze, Hokuto realizes a few things and makes a few conclusions based on said things.

Chapter Wordcount: 1.5K words

Chapter Notes: Yes, this contains that good shit we're all here for: pinning Hokke. Kind out of nowhere too, but hey, I really wanted to write about that for some reason lol. I'll blame it on the absolute goodness that is "sir, you're buying too many flowers". That'll do, yeah. This fic was meant to end with chapter 3 and, while I do have the final chapter already in the works, I decided to add shippier chunks like this one and the next chapter. I guess Enstars came back for my inspiration, haha. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this unplanned chapter of Nurse Café, and come around for more! I promise I know where I'm going with this, lol.

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A vague memory reached in his brain in a moment of half-consciousness. A vague, hazy memory of childhood times, of a past illness. His parents’ muffled voices, his grandmother’s smile warming back his heart left shivering. A day spent in bed, because getting up was impossible and he just felt too dizzy as soon as he tried looking up. Dad was there a lot more than usual, so was Mom, and it was weird and odd: he wasn’t used to having them near his bed so much, their hands cold against his skin, their words here to soothe him. For once, he hadn’t felt alone. The vague memory was sweet, despite its bitter undertones.

A tear was falling down Hokuto’s cheek when he eventually woke up from the daze.

Growing back to consciousness was like reaching the surface and emerging out of the water after a long, comatose dive into a warm pool. It wasn’t exactly the worst feeling in the world, even if his head felt hot and stuffed, heavy on his neck. Even then, he still felt slightly less terrible than before, as he could actually sit up, yawning. Not the most gracious way to go about with it, but that’d have to do: he could honestly not stir more energy inside of him to be less disgraceful than that.

The place was still less than familiar, but now, he could at least put a name on it: Anzu’s flat, in the college dorms. Quickly glancing around, almost getting himself dizzy from the sudden move, she was nowhere to be found: most likely gone to attend class, like a model student. Like he should have been doing, in fact, if he wasn’t stuck there with an unfinished presentation waiting for him in his flat and… wait. Those weren’t his clothes.

Confused yet again, he started looking around even more for answers. The curtains of the window were closed, but sunlight still sipped through them: it was daytime. On the bedside table right next to him, the precise answer figured on her alarm clock: it was already past eleven in the morning. The class he had the presentation in? Eight o’clock. Not only had he not completed his slideshow for it, he had actually somehow missed the entire thing altogether.

He glanced at his clothing. Those were cute pyjamas, sure, but they clearly didn’t belong to him. Not to mention, considering how they stuck to his skin, he’d have to wash them and give them to whomever they belonged to: Isara, he presumed, considering Anzu had been with him when he had almost woken up enough to go back home.

Go back home. That was what he needed to do.

Too bad his legs didn’t agree and let him fall pitifully on the floor after a long moment spent contemplating his own predicament.

Still, he rose back to his feet thanks to a chair that happened to be nearby and sat down on the bed, blinking away black spots. Okay, bad idea, he got it: there was no way he’d be able to drag himself out of this without the threat of passing out in the middle of the campus. He was also just realizing he didn’t have his phone on him: he had, in fact, left it before getting his cup of coffee on the day before. Talk about a terrible decision. Well, not that the migraine he was currently afflicted with was going to make it any easy to actually read something on said phone’s screen.

Maybe he should go take a shower… but he needed to ask for Anzu’s permission before doing so, didn’t he? He was already sleeping in her bed, that was more than enough amenities of hers he was using more or less against his will. Ah, that was inconvenient… At least, there was one relief to be found: there was still a glass, a bottle of water and some pills on the bedside table, left there, catching his stinging eye.

This was the one thing he could do, now. Even then, his limbs were still heavily lethargic, so he was slow and clumsy with his hands. Downing a couple pills was absurdly difficult for him, despite how simplistic the gesture seemed in his mind. He was pathetic, this much was clear, but falling back on the bed after just drinking a glass of water was absolutely pitiful for someone his age and constitution. He may have just woken up and tried doing something with his day, and yet, all he wanted to do was going back to sleep…

Still, he should get moving… He felt uneasy staying here for much longer, as close as he was to giving up and falling back asleep. The bitter aftertaste lingering in his mouth made him miss konpeito and, at this point, he’d rather have passed out than having to bear tears coming to his eyes. Why was he feeling so lonely, all of a sudden? He had been alone for so long, he didn’t need to cry like a child over being left on his own for legitimate reasons and—

“Ah, good morning, Hokuto! Are you feeling any better?”

His throat immediately went dry, knotting. He wiped his eyes as quickly as possible and went back to sitting somewhat properly.

“G-good morning, Anzu,” barely managed to make it out of his throat.

He observed her, vaguely following along, when the world was spinning all around her smiling self as she went to pick some things from another room (the bathroom, he assumed. He had never been to her place before this whole fiasco happened, it was difficult to tell which room was which or even how many rooms there were). Her presence made his mind feel better, soothing the sudden affliction he got hit with merely minutes before.

Time’s course was also severely disturbed and hindered by the heat in his head, so he couldn’t truly give an estimate of how little time she had spent in another room before coming back, sitting on the chair while humming a familiar song. If he didn’t know any better, he’d have assumed she found this stuff fun. That made no sense, though, considering he was noting but disgusting at the moment, so he brushed it off as his fever messing up with him.

Which, in itself, was a convenient thought to have right as she took it again, putting a hand under his bangs. Her palm was cold, like Grandma’s had been all those years ago; and, just like Grandma, Anzu didn’t seem bothered in the slightest by how soaked they were. Just realizing this made him want to bawl in his grandmother’s arms again, but he needed to keep at least a tiny bit of his dignity and, as such, opted to swallow his pride instead.

“Thirty-nine point one…” Anzu whispered to herself as she stared at the thermometer. “You’re far less warm than yesterday, but it’s still not good either. At least, your fever’s broken, that’s a relief already.”

He missed her hand as soon as it was gone from his forehead, yet didn’t feel like adding anything to the conversation: he had, honestly, very little energy to begin with and didn’t feel like wasting her time listening to some feverish rambling about whatever his brain was still in a decent condition to emit.

“You should stay here for another day, don’t you think? Maybe just this evening, if you get better during the day. You still look really tired.”

It was odd to let her do all the talking, considering how quiet she usually was, but this he didn’t mind: in fact, her voice was the one sound that didn’t grate against his pounding head, not unlike a cushion whenever everything else was there to worsen it. To be fair, she was purposely keeping it low; or so she seemed, to him, at least.

“Mao had the idea yesterday, but we still wanted to ask you. Can I go to your place and get some of your stuff? I’m sure you’d like to have your own clothes around!”

“Sure…”

Anzu went back to her feet, grabbing something lying on a nearby table. Most likely his flat key, but his unfocused eyes couldn’t really tell from this distance. At least, the world had stopped spinning all around him, it was enough of a satisfaction for now.

“Ah, before I leave you for a couple minutes,” she turned back to him, still smiling, “do yourself a home. I’ll be at work this afternoon, but I should be back by six. See you later, Hokuto.”

“I…” In the end, his resolve to leave had crumbled away again. “See you later…”

As the door closed behind her, he was left dumbfounded. The balm on his heart had started to go cold once again, leaving him melancholic and teary-eyed. He knew about how moody he could get whenever he was tired or sick, but being both at the same time was making nothing easier, and he decided he’d finally give this shower a shot.

It was that or falling back into bed and contemplating his own boggling, confused feelings anyway; and he wasn’t ready just yet to admit to have fallen for someone this way.

#enstars #hokuan #hidaka hokuto #anzu (enstars)#sickfic #hurt comfort #au: coffeeshop #au: college #overwork #fever #otp: konpeito chou cream #fic: nurse cafe

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taetwin-moved · 7 years ago

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get to know me meme

tagged by: @castleoblivions thanks brie 💕

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

tagging: @hobisol @kthvibes @rosehairedjin @artistictae and whoever else wants to do this, i ain’t tagging 20 people ( you don't have to do this if you don't want to!! )

LAST:

1. Drink: coffee 2. Phone call: um i think with my work because they couldn’t understand my email lolol 3. Text message: to my pastel blucifer @a-christmas-spudgy 4. Song you listened to: what u do? by exo 5. Time you cried: like 2 nights ago

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: nope 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nope 8. Been cheated on: nope 9. Lost someone special: yes 10. Been depressed: 24/7 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: um i just like pastels tbh i guess pastels, pink, blue could be considered 3

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yes i have ^^ 16. Fallen out of love: i mean i’ve gotten over crushes but i don’t think i’ve ever been in love to fall out of 17. Laughed until you cried: not this year no 18. Found out someone was talking about you: i don’t think so?? 19. Met someone who changed you: not really haha 20. Found out who your friends are: maybe i dunno 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: nope

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: like all of them except like 3 but I barely go on fb anymore so idk 23. Do you have any pets: two lovely cats ^^ 24. Do you want to change your name: i’ve been thinking of legally changing it to my polish name but i probably won’t 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: um not much, I can’t really remember what I did except go out to eat at this place called bangkok tokyo 26. What time did you wake up: 6am but i fell back asleep and woke up like an hour later 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping lol 28. Name something you can’t wait for: kingdom hearts 3 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: i’m looking at her rn 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: um everything tbh 31. What are you listening right now: exo’s new album 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i have several cousins named different versions of tom lolol 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: toxic tumblr culture although that’s always gotten on my nerves 34. Most visited website: .............tumblr

RANDOM INFO:

35. Mole/s: i have a lot 36. Mark/s: i have a scar on my right index finger and then a few burn marks 37. Childhood dream: i don’t even know i think i wanted to be a mermaid i thought that was a legitimate career option ( i also always wanted to travel so that’s another one ) 38. Hair color: blonde although my roots are growing back in so it’s like brown and blonde rn 39. Long or short hair: short/medium 41. What do you like about yourself: my freckles 42. Piercings: i had bad luck w/ piercings in the past so none 43. Blood type: idk tbh 44. Nickname: don’t have any 45. Relationship status: single af 46. Zodiac: capricorn / taurus moon 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show: the get down (rip), in the flesh (rip) a lot of my fav shows were cancelled unfairly 49. Tattoos: none but i want a few 50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: i almost got surgery in 5th grade but that’s a long story. so really never but i’m getting surgery next week 52. Hair dyed in different color: i’ve had my hair dyed a few times. i really want to dye it pink rn but i have to get my roots covered before i do that 53. Sport: when i was younger i did tball, softball, soccer, basketball, cheer leading, and ballet/tap (i think dance is a sport in its own right). now i just watch baseball haha 55. Vacation: i really want to go to a few places in south korea and japan, and then paris 56. Pair of trainers: like 2 pairs that i barely use anymore

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: um a lot of things, i love spicy food especially this pork bulgogi i get at this place called dae gee ( it’s flavor town certified lol ). it’s not super spicy to me but has a bit of a kick and it’s delicious i could eat it all day. other than that, any pasta dish and cheesecake is where it’s at 58. Drinking: coffee, tea, water, coke, boba tea, smoothies 59. I’m about to: post this and then get ready for work 61. Waiting for: the hixtape, when are u gonna drop it hobi 62. Want: to move out but who knows when that’ll ever happen 63. Get married: ahaha idk 64. Career: i mean i’m studying for art therapy but i have another idea that i might go with instead

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. Hugs or kisses: hugs 66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: taller 68. Older or younger: i like a bit older but still close to my age 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: a squishy stomach that i can poke 71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: neither??

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: nope 75. Drank hard liquor: yes 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: yep 77. Turned someone down: yes 78. Sex on the first date: nope 79. Broken someone’s heart: i think??

80. Had your heart broken: several times 81. Been arrested: nope 82. Cried when someone died: yes 83. Fallen for a friend: kind of

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: a bit 85. Miracles: not much anymore 86. Love at first sight: yes 87. Santa Claus: not really lol 88. Kiss on the first date: nope

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: jonathan 91. Eye color: my eye color changes but it’s mostly green/blue 92. Favorite movie: castle in the sky

#tagged #about me

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satorisa · 7 years ago

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Lift the Veil - Chapter 9

Lift the Veil - Chapter 9: Ghost

Rating: T

Summary: After living in Tokyo for the past six years, she decides to head back to Azumano to escape the big city. However, she now has to face everything that she tried to flee from all those years ago. How exactly will she fare when the pages of a long forgotten book start turning once more?

Read On: FanFiction.Net, Archive of Our Own

(I am a filthy liar.)

This chapter was brought to you LATE by this lovely song, headcanons that belong to @fugitivehugs and @keikotwins (the police force doting on Satoshi and Kei having a brother) [also if you are not them and reading this and so happen to love DNAngel, go ahead and hit up these wonderful people!!!], the former’s love for Kei Hiwatari, and the boy that influenced the dinner scene with Satoshi, making that one singular scene so difficult to deal with that it delayed my progress by several days.

Thank you.

Without further ado, here is the ~8000 word behemoth born from a terrible decision to merge two chapters together. Please enjoy for my sake.

Chapter 9 – Ghost

This time, I might just disappear.

“Someone’s late today,” Saehara smirked.

“Shut up,” I breathed, winded from having rushed over here. “What’d I miss?”

“This!” He gestured to the surprisingly busy police force. Most of them carried huge boxes of paperwork while they frantically ran around, but some of them had a gift of some sort in their hands. They briefly stepped into the Police Commissioner’s office only to come out moments later with their colorful presents replaced by paperwork as, they too, joined the horde and scurried to their destinations. “What do you think is going on?”

I shrugged before sitting down to work while Saehara shot up, steno pad in his hand, to satiate his curiosity. He returned much later than usual, plopping onto the sofa with uncharacteristic lethargy and a distant expression on his face. His clothes became more wrinkled during his absence and his hair, although already unruly, started reaching Einstein levels of messiness.

“Hey, Harada-imouto, I think you should go check up on Satoshi.”

“Why should I?”

“Please.”

Hearing the desperation in his voice, I headed towards Hiwatari’s office and knocked. No one answered, so I let myself in, softly opening and closing the door behind me. There Hiwatari laid on his sofa, staring up at the ceiling. He turned to face me, and I felt cornered from his stare.

“Are you…okay?” I croaked even though it was painfully obvious that he wasn’t.

He shook his head before sitting up, patting the seat next to him, but I sat on the other side of the sofa, ample space away from him. He looked lost, staring at his hands as if they weren’t his.

I didn’t want to pry, knowing that I would be overstepping a boundary if I asked. My presence during such a vulnerable time was already pushing it. And so we sat there in silence, intermittently disturbed by someone dropping a gift off with words of encouragement and consolation in exchange for some paperwork.

Hiwatari’s mood didn’t seem to improve, despite the gestures of his coworkers, so I pulled out my phone and messaged Daisuke. He arrived fairly quickly, and I left the room before one of them could stop me. When I returned to my workspace, Saehara wasn’t there, so I sat down and continued my work to get my mind off of Hiwatari.

Despite everything, Hiwatari always seemed to have his life under control. When college entrance exam time rolled around, Riku got so stressed out from the extensive cram school sessions she had. Even Daisuke, known for heading to bed at a reasonable time, stayed up late finishing up his portfolio for admissions. And I had quickly cracked under the sheer amount of studying I decided to undertake. But Hiwatari stayed collected despite his workload, somehow managing to free up his already packed schedule in case any one of us needed him.

Then again, I knew he was better at hiding it compared to most people. And before walking into that office, I had only seen him remotely shut down twice.

The first time was during the Kokuyoku fiasco. And the second was when…

…it was when he decided to completely share his story of Rio HIkari, of the burden he bared, of the relationship he shared with Kei. He managed to maintain his composure until he finished and saw me crying.

He pulled me into an embrace so tight that I couldn’t breathe before burying his face into the crook of my neck. Despite his unwavering voice, I felt his warm tears fall on my skin as he apologized for telling me his story over and over again. I returned his hug, hoping that it would at least give him some comfort, but he didn’t stop until he had fallen asleep, probably spent from all that crying. Just like a child, I tucked him in next to me, holding him close as I patted his head until, I too, drifted off.

Seeing him, looking like that on that sofa, almost spurred me to pull him into my arms and cry.

Almost.

Coming back home after work, I rested my feet on the sofa and turned on the TV. I decided to leave the Japanese drama rerun on, enjoying the end of another busy day when I heard the front door swing open then slam shut, revealing a frustrated Riku. She tossed her purse onto the countertop before removing her hair tie and marching upstairs. Minutes later, she came down, having changed from her work clothes into a t-shirt and jeans before shooting me a look of both anger and confusion.

“What are you still doing here?”

“Did…something happen?” I checked my phone in case I had missed a message, but there was nothing.

The emotions on her face subsided, replaced by realization. “So you actually didn’t know…”

“Didn’t know what?”

“That Kei Hiwatari died. We’re—”

I blocked out everything Riku said after those words, turning off the TV and stumbling towards her. I was already in my pajamas, but I didn’t care enough to change into something more presentable. My brain had shut down trying to fully process the news while Riku rambled on beside me as my legs went through the motions, carrying me to wherever the hell our destination was.

We eventually arrived at the Niwa household and walked in to see Hiwatari next to Daisuke on the floor at the low table with Saehara and Akane across from them. Mrs. Emiko, Mr. Kosuke, and Grandpa Daiki sat on the sofa, indifferent to the situation. Argentine and Towa weren’t present, probably because of extra people in the house, and Ritsuko leaned against a wall, busy with her phone. Riku, unaffected by the stifling silence, sat next to Daisuke, completely in control of the situation as she comforted Hiwatari while I took my place by Ritsuko on the outskirts of the group.

To think that Hiwatari would willingly have this many people around him during such a time without him having any qualms about their presence was not something I ever expected to witness.

“What happened?” Riku calmly asked, and her words sounded like glass shattering onto a cold, hard floor.

“Kei’s brother called him this morning saying that Kei had passed, and that he’s going to Vienna to help prepare the funeral,” Daisuke explained. “Satoshi, you don’t have to go if you—”

“I have to go,” Hiwatari adamantly said. “I just can’t go alone.”

“But your uncle will be there,” Saehara pointed out.

“I…I need one of you there with me.”

I watched the people at the table look at each other with regret. One by one, they started listing off legitimate reasons for why they couldn’t accompany Hiwatari. As much as his friends loved and cared for him, they couldn’t exactly put their lives on hold for a week. No one had the time, unfortunately. After he asked the younger adults in the room, he briefly caught my eye before shaking his head, sparing the two of us from having a contrived conversation. He turned around, about to ask the older Niwas when Riku decided to open that big, fat mouth of hers.

“What about Risa?” she asked. I bit my lip and felt Ritsuko lightly placed her hand on my arm. This wasn’t going to be pretty. “I’m pretty sure she doesn’t have anything planned for next week.”

“Riku, I really don’t think I’m in any position to accompany him,” I told her. “My supervisor probably won’t let me have such a long break since I was recently hired. And I’m sure Daisuke’s relatives wouldn’t mind going with him.”

“But if you can go, why do you have to bother them? After all, you’re—”

“Riku.” Hiwatari’s stern voice cut through her words. I winced. “I appreciate your sentiments, but you shouldn’t push Harada-san to come with me if she doesn’t want to. You may be her sister but that doesn’t mean that you can speak for her on her behalf.” He looked like he wanted to say more but he pursed his lips instead, as if he had to physically stop himself from whatever else might’ve poured out.

She quieted down, shocked from Hiwatari’s scolding, and the evening continued, heavy with tension despite Saehara’s best attempts at lightening the mood, until everyone started leaving. Riku wanted to head home too but, after what happened earlier, I didn’t want to be alone with her, so Daisuke accompanied her home, leaving only me and Hiwatari left. The older Niwas had retired upstairs after everyone unanimously decided that Kosuke would go with Hiwatari, and the artworks were about, cleaning up after the company.

“You…really didn’t have to do that,” I told him from my new spot across from him at the low table. “I would’ve eventually butt in once I couldn’t stand it anymore. And Riku is right in a way, you know.”

“I know, but the way she was acting pissed me off.”

“She meant well. She’s just looking out for you, that’s all.”

“It’s annoying.”

I smiled, seeing myself from several days ago. “That just means she cares.”

The ticking of the clock and the whir of the air conditioner filled the space between us. Argentine and Towa left the kitchen around then, and I shot them an apology for my last visit as they passed by to go upstairs. They replied saying that it was their mistake for not being aware of the situation, eying both Hiwatari and I as they slowly made their way up, probably wary to leave us alone. But they too eventually left, and the miscellaneous noises of the house rushed back in.

“Hey,” I carefully started, picking at my chipped nail polish. Anything to make the delivery easier and keep my attention from Hiwatari’s face. And also to get my mind off the words about to leave my mouth. “Do you want me to go with you?”

Silence, probably from processing and contemplation. “I don’t want to impose. And Kosuke is more than capable. Really.”

If anyone was imposing, it was me. “You’re not.” Now, I had to make a joke to lighten the situation. Force a smile… “Besides, Vienna sounds like a fun vacation.”

“You’re supposed to support me, not gallivant through a foreign city by your lonesome.” Failure. I could hear the disbelief in his voice.

Alright. I could still salvage this. “I’m joking.” But I kind of wasn’t. “Half joking. I’ll pay for myself. And Vienna really does sound fun to explore during our down time. Kosuke still has to come as some type of buffer and dependable support, but I’ll be there for comfort or whatever else you need. Plus, the more the merrier, right?” Damn, nervous rambling was not a part of my plan.

“…why?”

“I…don’t know. I know that I really shouldn’t be going on this trip with you but, at the same time, I can’t exactly bring myself to leave you be in that situation, especially when I know that, to some degree, I’m able to handle it. And no, it’s not because of what Riku said. It’s of my own volition.”

I couldn’t not stare at Hiwatari anymore, so I cautiously looked up from my nails. He had a gentle smile on his face. I hadn’t seen that expression in such a long time. If the table hadn’t been between us, as well as everything else in the past, he probably would’ve hugged me. Or I would’ve hugged him. Well, some sort of physical sign of gratitude would’ve occurred for sure even if it wasn’t an embrace.

“Thank you.” Those words came across as a whisper. “Let me walk you home.”

I shook my head as we both got up. “Walk me to your place.” He shot me a concerned look. “It’s already late, so I don’t want to bother anyone. You’re sleeping here tonight, too. And after your stunt earlier, I don’t think me heading back home is a good idea.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’ll be unconscious for most of my time there, so it’s fine. And I’ll head back home tomorrow morning after I wake up. Right now, Riku needs some sleep and time by herself.”

I sent her a message telling her not to wait up for me before following Hiwatari back to his apartment. He opened his front door while I settled down on the sofa.

“You can take my bed,” he offered. I looked at him like he was insane, and he retreated into his room, coming back out with two pillows and a blanket. “Hopefully, these don’t stink.” He then left his keys on the table in front of me. “Just hand them over tomorrow. Good night, Harada-san.”

“Good night, Hiwatari-san. And thank you.”

I locked the door behind him before fixing the pillows and blanket. Surprisingly, the sofa was quite soft, his pillows were fluffy yet supportive, and his blanket was wonderfully plush but…

Well, they didn’t stink per say, but they stunk of him.

Turning on some music, I fell asleep listening to a piano, floating away from my odd present.

We had made the mutual decision not to tell anyone of the new nature of our relationship. We weren’t dating or formally boyfriend and girlfriend; rather, we danced past being just friends into a realm of confusing boundaries filled with almosts and not-quite-rights.

He came over often, about every other day or so, and we’d keep each other company until we were too spent to do anything else. Still running on an oxytocin high, we’d lay there in the dark, me usually encased in his arms, as we talked about anything and everything. He’d share little tidbits about himself, like why he liked kit-kats so much (his host parents always had some lying around, so he’d sometimes snack on a few while studying) or why he preferred sunrises to sunsets (something about how the night would give way to the day and that, during those brief moments, the world would pause just to admire the horizon’s beauty.) And, other times, he would talk about Krad or his father.

Whenever he spoke of Kei, he sounded like he was talking about a boss or a colleague: his voice was laced with respect and slight discomfort, lacking any sort of familiarity in his tone. However, as we spent more time together, that façade crumbled away as Hiwatari began to tell me stories of the Kei he knew growing up. He shared memories of playing together with him, of looking up to him, of moments filled with unimaginable joy. The picture he painted drastically contrasted that of the Kei I knew. But something happened, and the kindness that Kei once genuinely possessed became a charade he hid behind, obscuring his manipulative and selfish soul underneath.

Whatever ounce of love that was there was gone, and Hiwatari became a tool for Kei to have some control over the Hikari artworks. With a smile, he’d use cleverly veiled threats or even offer some insincere familial love to coerce Hiwatari to follow his plans. All the unspeakable events that happened were, in some way, shape, or form, the results of Kei’s orders.

Hiwatari hated Krad, but he hated Kei even more because, deep inside, he wanted to believe in those words of affirmation and love. He wanted to, and fooled himself into trusting them, until Kei had rudely reminded him of the harsh truth of his reality. He could deal with Krad’s toxicity; he was predictable, and Hiwatari eventually became numb to that parasite residing in his body. But he couldn’t deal with Kei, with the man he could no longer read. Krad could literally turn his body into a bloody mess and Hiwatari would mindlessly deal with it, but a single word from Kei sent his brain into overdrive as he fought against his logos and pathos.

And when Krad was finally sealed away for good and Kei had disappeared, Hiwatari didn’t know how to deal with this sudden freedom. Instead of properly dealing with the dependency issues thrust upon him, he flung himself towards friends and work. While Kei still had a strong hold on the poor boy, it eventually waned with time.

Alas, with the death of someone you equal parts loved and hated, anyone would find themselves struggling with their phantom once more.

After a less than restful sleep, I headed back home to freshen up for another day at work. I headed to the news station first, asking if I could take a week’s leave because of a family emergency. And when I miraculously got that, I headed straight for the police station, dropping off Hiwatari’s keys and admiring the care baskets and flowers that decorated his office before heading out to my usual spot, greeting Takeshi with a smile.

He smiled before hugging me, almost in tears at the fact that I finally used his first name. That alone just made my day.

And after I headed home, I sat in the dining room with my music deafeningly loud while I browsed apartment listings. I stumbled upon a one bed, one bath close to the cliffs with a beautiful view of the ocean. Mizuame de Noisette was close by too, so I could always drop by if I wanted to treat myself without worrying anyone. I bookmarked it, but I still went through the list to see if anything could top it.

“Boo!”

I screamed before turning around to see Riku straight from work. She had her hair up in a little stub of a ponytail, and her bangs were clipped to the side. She wore all black, reminding me of a ninja whose sole purpose was to terrify her sister.

“You’re going to blow out your eardrums if you listen to music that loudly,” she chirped, lowering its volume before taking the seat next to me. “So, what’re you doing?”

“Looking for apartments.”

“Risa, do you hate me that much that you need to leave me?” I shot her a dirty look, and she just cackled. “I kid. Has anything caught your eye?”

“Yup. If I sign the lease, move-in’s only a month away.”

“A month? But that’s when Daisuke and I are going to Zurich!” she exclaimed.

“Well, you can always visit after your trip.” And she would, inevitably, drop by after Daisuke pops the question. I bit my lip to keep myself from accidentally spilling.

“But it’s not going to be the same! Moving in is the fun part!”

“Yeah, it’ll be fun as long as you’re not around.”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?”

We both laughed. Luckily, she hadn’t said anything about last night, so I assumed that she had gotten over it. That or the fact that she conveniently forgot about it. But, knowing her, she was waiting to bring it up, and the brief lull we found ourselves in was the perfect time to change the conversation.

“So, about last night…” she started, as if on cue. “I’m sorry. It seemed like you guys were getting along, so I thought it’d be okay.”

“Don’t worry about it. You meant well.”

“It’s hard seeing you two act like that, especially since you two got along so well in high school. I’d never seen the two of you happier, which is saying something considering that Satoshi’s pretty content these days.”

I took in a deep breath before letting it out in a long and prominent exhale. Riku really did have a way with words. And by that, I meant that she knew exactly what to say to worsen an already sensitive situation.

“Sorry,” she quickly apologized after noticing my obvious discomfort.

“It’s fine.” We found ourselves at yet another stalemate, and the light notes of my music floated through the air. “Well, to change the subject, I’m going with Hiwatari-san and Mr. Kosuke to Vienna.”

“Are you sure? You’re not pushing yourself to go or anything?”

“Nah. It sounds like a great vacation.” Riku rolled her eyes at that. “Honestly though? I felt like I had to go. Not just to support him, because I know I can’t fully do that by myself which is why Mr. Kosuke is still going, but also for myself. For closure, you know? Maybe if I saw Hiwatari do it, I might be able to do it, too.”

“For Dark? Or for Satoshi?”

“Why mention Hiwatari-san?”

“Risa, we’re not that dumb. Everyone knows that what happened in high school was because of Satoshi. It’s just no one knows why. You two are awfully good at staying mum about it.”

“For both, I suppose.”

She nodded before getting up. “Well, I feel like I’ve overstayed my welcome by meeting the ‘dark side’ of Risa, so I’ll leave you be. Just knock on my door if you need me, good luck with searching, and you better bring me along to see the place when you tour it!”

Meekly waving her goodbye, I returned to my screen, turning the volume up so loudly that I started thinking to its beat, drowning the silence of the night with the waves of piano runs.

“Why is he here?” Risuko asked, frowning when she noticed Takeshi trailing behind me. She messaged me in the morning, asking to meet up for lunch as a check-up of sorts and, well, I was in the mood to eat out despite it being my turn to bring lunch for me and Takeshi so he, unfortunately, decided to tag along.

“For food. Don’t mind him.” Yet she very much so did, shooting him a nasty look that I could feel him returning. I headed over to the hostess, asking to be seated to avoid their petty fight that they continued when it came to deciding who would sit next to me once we arrived at our table and I, fed up with them, shot them a glare as they slunk into the seats across from me. If they couldn’t get along, the proper thing to do was have them sit together and stare at the empty spot they couldn’t have.

After the waiter took our orders and menus, Ritsuko decided to break the silence.

“How’re you feeling?” she cautiously asked.

I shrugged. “Alright? I do know that I’m excited to go to Vienna.”

“Wait, you’re going with him?” they simultaneously asked, shooting each other a disgusted look before returning to me.

“Are you sure you’re not pushing yourself?” Ristuko’s voice was laced with concern.

“You shouldn’t have to feel obligated to go because no one else can,” Takeshi added.

Even though this was starting like my conversation with Riku last night, I didn’t want it to follow the same direction it did, so I had to come up with an excuse.

“Well, Mr. Kosuke is dependable, but he’s more of a family member and mentor than a friend. And sometimes you just need a friend.”

“You two aren’t exactly friends,” Ritsuko pointed out. Crap. Bad call. “Out of all of us, you’re the least qualified to go with him.”

“We’re just worried about you two, yanno? Dealing with the death of that jackass of a father isn’t something you can just casually deal with.” I expected him to make some type of gesture, like one of those detectives when they’re explaining something in the movies, but he sat there with his arms resting on the table like any other person. “You probably know a helluva lot more about that douchebag than me for sure, but that’s a heavy burden you’re going to help him carry. You’re gonna have to be strong if you want to support Satoshi because you’re getting yourself into a situation where the past and present are gonna intertwine into a terrifying beast, and it might be too much for you to handle.”

“I know.” The waiter came by, dropping off our waters. I laughed when he left, and both Ritsuko and Takeshi watched me in confusion. “Sorry, I just never thought I’d have a serious conversation with you, Takeshi.”

He shot me a toothy grin. “Chief said the same thing a while back.”

And with that, the conversation returned to casual ground. Ritsuko and Takeshi argued, somehow still unable to get along with each other for some reason. At some point, I was worried that they’d start flinging their food at each other, but they still had some shred of decorum. (This is considering the fact that they started to kick each other under the table, however that works whenever you’re kicking someone sitting next to you.)

When we left the restaurant, Ritsuko pulled me into a hug, wishing me well. Her hands lingered on my shoulder much longer than necessary. She probably meant it as encouragement, as well as a silent message to rethink my decision, before elegantly walking away in her heels.

Work went along just like any other day until it was time for Takeshi to leave. Instead of flying out those doors as soon as he was off the clock, he sat next to me with his attention on his phone. He left when Hiwatari walked out, but the two of them stood outside the station and talked as if they were waiting for someone.

After I edited the last story, I packed up and walked outside, about ready to just pass the men by until Takeshi stopped me.

“Um…see ya tomorrow, Risa.” Takeshi never seemed at a loss for words; in fact, he just couldn’t contain what he wanted to share with the world. But, at that moment, he sounded like he was struggling to even string a sentence together, as if, for once, he had no idea what to say. Takeshi hesitated, and I realized that his prolonged presence was along the same lines as Ritsuko’s earlier gesture before he finally walked off at a normal pace with his hands in his pockets.

He probably wanted to walk me home, but Hiwatari said something. Hiwatari always did something, if I had to be honest.

“You scared him off,” I teased even though I wished that Takeshi didn’t leave.

“He had somewhere to be is all,” he smoothly replied, but we both knew that that was a lie. “Is it alright if I accompany you home for the day?”

“Why the sudden urge for chivalry?”

“I just…I wanted to talk to you. Lighten the load before we head off to Vienna?”

“Why not dissuade me like the level-headed person you are?”

“Well, I would, but you’re awfully stubborn when you’ve already set your mind on something. And, despite our circumstances, knowing that you’re there gives me a sense of comfort that even Kosuke couldn’t grant me.”

Somewhere inside, his words made me wince. And so, we headed back home in the twilight as we chatted. I learned about why Ritsuko and Takeshi still couldn’t get along. (He had somehow accidentally sabotaged a good date and potential relationship, and there was no way in hell that she was going to let it go anytime soon.) Hiwatari also talked about Daisuke’s potential proposal plan which resulted in us having second-hand embarrassment from the likely case that something goes completely wrong.

“That was nice,” I told Hiwatari at the gate, reluctantly admitting to myself that I was enjoying his casual presence. “Thank you for walking me.”

He shook his head. “No, thank you for letting me walk with you.”

I had half a mind to say farewell so I could spent the evening berating myself at my sudden change in heart, but I paused halfway through the gate and turned around. “Would you—um—like to stay for dinner?”

Hiwatari blinked, caught off-guard by my offer, before giving me a small smile to offset his initial shock. “Sure. Thank you.”

He pushed the already open gate wider, waiting for me to fully walk in before letting it shut behind us. I awkwardly fumbled with my keys, trying not to crack under Hiwatari’s scrutinizing gaze before I finally opened the door to see Riku, dressed up for work, at the countertop.

She turned around to see us. “Hey, Risa! And what’s up, Satoshi?”

“Hopefully not Kei,” he responded, and my sister laughed. “Are you headed for work?”

“Yup. In a bit. I’ve been trying to plan our trip to Zurich, but I don’t know what I really want to do.”

“I can send you suggestions later if you’d like.”

“That’d be great. Thanks, Satoshi!” She closed her laptop before hopping off the highchair. “I’ll be off then! You two better behave while I’m gone!” Her cackling lingered in the air long after she closed the door behind her.

“Well, make yourself comfortable,” I told him. “I’m going to ask my parents what they want for dinner.”

“Are you…cooking?” he cautiously asked.

“Yes.” His face blanched. “I’m not that bad, okay? I’ve learned my way around the kitchen after living alone for the past six years.”

He still looked unconvinced, so I left him and headed off to my parents’ room. I knocked on their door and, getting permission to come in, I saw them sitting on the bed next to each other as they watched a movie. My mom leaned on my dad’s shoulder, about ready to fall asleep when she noticed me at the door. She turned to me with a polite smile while my dad turned the volume down.

Usually, I would linger to chat about their day before leaving, but I had quickly asked them what they wanted for dinner (mapo tofu) before leaving the room. They weren’t doing anything remotely disturbing, but I felt awkward, as if stumbled upon something intimate.

Retreating into the kitchen, I grabbed a beer and packaged baumkuchen before joining Hiwatari, who was watching The Phantom of the Opera. I took the seat next to him, trying to disregard the disapproving look on his face.

“You’re going to ruin your dinner.”

“Leave me be,” I grumbled, hearing the click of the can opening and tearing the plastic keeping me away from my cake. “And I didn’t pin you as a musical kind of guy.”

“I watched an official showing during a trip in Prague, and I’ve liked musicals ever since.” He paused. “Miss Saigon’s my favorite.”

I had a stifle a laugh since Christine and Raoul were on the screen, singing their love from the rooftop. Imagine this: Hiwatari sitting in the audience, completely enchanted with the love story unfolding before him. When the scene changed, I excused myself into the kitchen to start cooking and laugh at that mental image. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize that Hiwatari had followed me into the kitchen, so I turned around to see him slightly pouting.

“It was touching,” he explained, as if that would help him save face. It only made me laugh harder.

“Touching?” I managed to breathe. “When did you become a sap?”

“When I spent too much time watching dramas with Emiko, Towa, and Argentine, but it might’ve been your grand delusions of romance that started it all.”

I stopped laughing. “Excuse me? My grand delusions of romance? How dare you—”

“Harada-san, at the rate that we’re going, we’re not going to finish cooking dinner tonight.”

“We?”

“As your guest, I insist on helping you. I trust myself to some degree in the kitchen. More so than you, at least.”

Letting his well-meant yet somewhat brutal concern roll off of me, I asked him to wash and cut the vegetables while I cubed the tofu. I finished fairly quickly, putting the tofu aside in a bowl before turning to watch Hiwatari, ever so serious with the mushrooms.

Both of us were helpless cooks in high school. After I moved to Tokyo though, I lived on convenience store food and school food until my friends held an intervention and helped me learn how to cook. Watching Hiwatari carefully cut up those vegetables, awkwardly holding them with his left hand, made me laugh. He looked like he was performing a surgery and not something as menial as cooking.

When he finished them, I tossed them into the pan where the ground beef was already cooking before adding the seasonings. And when all that was left was to leave the food on the stove for a bit, I opened up another can of beer.

K-chk.

“Should you be having another one?” Hiwatari asked wearily.

“It’s the end of the week, and I’m home.”

He nodded, either accepting that answer or deciding not to bother dissuading me. “Hand me one.”

I handed him a can with a smirk. “Are you sure this is enough for you?” I asked, vaguely referencing the huge stash I stumbled upon at his apartment.

“More than enough,” he answered taking a sip, completely unaware of what I was insinuating. “Any more than this, and both Daisuke and Takeshi would have my ass.”

I raised my eyebrows, unsure of how to respond. Sure, that sounded hilarious but—wait, could it be possible that Hiwatari’s worse than me when drunk?

“There’ve been too many instances in which things have happened, so I drink sparingly in public. My apartment, however, is fair game.” He shot me a smirk, and I returned an awkward smile. I didn’t really need the mental image of Hiwatari bumbling around his apartment completely wasted.

We returned to the movie, waiting until the food finished cooking. I called my parents when it was done, and the three of us returned to the table to see Hiwatari setting down the bowls. (He knew where they were?) They greeted each other, quite familiarly, before we dug into the food that everyone complimented me on. I spent most of dinner silent, watching my parents animatedly speak with Hiwatari who was equally engaged. And when we finished, my parents and Hiwatari tided up the table and shooed me upstairs. I changed out of my work clothes into something more comfortable, wiping the makeup off my face before heading downstairs to see that they had finished and moved onto the couch, watching TV while casually chatting.

I paused at the bottom of the stairs, taking in the scene as an observer. My parents knew Hiwatari since middle school, and they treated him as one of my friends from school whenever he was over back then. But this wasn’t polite small talk. This was friends who often spent time together, just like a makeshift family.

Family? How did this happen? Was it because I was gone? Did Hiwatari conveniently fill the hole that my absence had opened? I just knew, from looking at them, that I had no place in this living room scene, and I quietly headed back up to prepare for seeing the apartment tomorrow and, possibly, signing the lease.

In the middle of a Tsum Tsum game, I heard a knock on my door. After telling whoever it was to come in, the door swung open. Hiwatari stood at the threshold, unmoving, as if there was an invisible barrier keeping him from stepping inside.

“Riku’s here, so I’ll be heading back now.” He slightly bowed. “Thank you for dinner.”

“Thank you for helping me make it. And for keeping my parents company.”

Those last words hurt to utter, but I just forced a small smile to hide the tension building inside me. He didn’t notice, instead nodding before turning around. “Be safe,” I called after him as he walked down the hallway before disappearing from my line of sight. I returned to my phone, trying to tune out the sound of laughter coming from downstairs.

I stood there, face to face with an unconscious Hiwatari in a sterile hospital room. Daisuke and Riku were elsewhere in their own beds, fully conscious and harboring injuries that would only keep them here for a couple more days. I, miraculously, only came out of that ordeal with small bruises and scratches but…

I sat in one of the chairs, taking in the emptiness of his room. My parents were dutifully by Riku’s side, and her room was stuffed with beautiful bouquets, balloons, fruit baskets and gifts galore. She was also healing well. Daisuke’s room was filled with his rambunctious family and food, and his vitality was slowly trickling back after Dark’s final farewell.

But Hiwatari? All he had was this bare room and the possibility that he might not make it. At the time, I only pitied the state that he was in, unaware that this was yet another entry on his ever-growing list of unfortunate events that’ve plagued his life since birth. And that these burdens had estranged him from the human basics of family, friends, and any other forms of love.

He honestly deserved everything he had now. He deserved that job, his unofficial family, and the friends he could finally hold close to him. Perhaps it was my stubbornness that kept me away from that, from finally stepping into my own shoes and living my life. Because Hiwatari moved past everything, but I had decided to wallow in the past and turn the other direction.

And that same stubbornness that kept me away from everyone here who had, some way or another, learned how to live without me.

Riku walked into the kitchen while I had a croissant hanging from my mouth. “Good morning, floating croissant! Here’s to another butter-ful day!” She laughed, tearing off a piece of the pastry before plopping it into her mouth.

I took the croissant out of my mouth. “That was awful.”

“Aw. I thought you liked puns.”

“I think it’s just too early for me to appreciate them right now,” I grumbled, quickly finishing my breakfast.

Riku decided to have some eggs with toast, so I put some bread in the toaster while she labored over the stove. My parents couldn’t accompany me today for reasons I couldn’t recall (or maybe never received), so it was just me and Riku checking out the apartment.

“I can’t wait to see the place,” she said when we finally left the house, basking in the morning sun.

“You’ll love it. The realtor said that I found a steal.”

“Of course you would.”

Groaning at her remark, I ignored her chuckling as we made our way to the apartment. Despite Riku’s pleasant conversation, I couldn’t help but think about how weird it was that my parents weren’t with me. If they’re able to, parents would want to see their child’s new home, right?

Maybe I only had them on my mind because of last night. Growing up, Riku and I weren’t particularly close to them because they were busy with work some way or another. Riku told me they cut down on their hours shortly after I left because their age was catching up to them, and they’ve apparently gotten really close since then. They’d also gotten really close to Hiwatari, too.

I wished I could chalk up their absence to denial at their daughter growing up, but seeing how much they talked to Hiwatari last night, I really didn’t know. Was it unfamiliarity? Was it those six years that I’ve been gone? Or was it a lack of an extremely meaningful relationship during the eighteen years prior to my leave?

Honestly, I thought Hiwatari would be my only problem moving here. Yet there I was, sitting in the trolley and facing the existential crisis hidden by Hiwatari’s initially problematic presence.

Luckily, this trip wasn’t long enough for me to continue down that devastating train of thought, as we arrived at the apartment where the realtor greeted us with a smile. She led us up to the room, allowing us to revel at the wonderful furnishings, big windows, and spacious floorplan.

“If you don’t get this, I’m going to hold it against you for the rest of your life,” she whispered as we headed downstairs to see if I wanted to finalize this decision.

“Well, I’m getting it, so you have one less thing to hang over my head.”

Minutes later, I became the new tenant of apartment 314, at least comforted in the fact that I finally had my own place.

“You really like this café, don’t you?”

We headed towards the cash register, looking at the menu scrawled out above it. “Yeah, you could say that.”

When we finally ordered, the cashier asked if that was all, shooting me a knowing look. I nodded, focused on that ever-present, cordial smile on her face as she greeted the next customer.

Riku chose to sit at the table where I usually spent my drunken evenings, and I couldn’t help but crack a smile at that. We casually talked until a waiter dropped our orders off.

“Is that all you’re going to eat?” she asked, suspiciously eying the house salad in front of me.

“Yeah. Why?” Her pasta covered in a cream-based sauce and bowl of hearty soup looked wonderful, but I knew eating that now would be too much. My body could only handle light meals during stressful times, and I was flying out to Vienna in less that twelve hours.

“It’s just odd seeing you eat such healthy food.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

She laughed as I crunched on my salad, feigning frustration. I really did miss hanging out with Riku like this.

“You know, it’s weird,” she said, somewhat wistful. “At this age, I thought you’d have a steady boyfriend or even be married while I’d be forever single, wholly uninterested in dating.”

“And yet you’re the one with a boyfriend you’ve been in a relationship with for more than ten years, and I’m the one ‘woefully’ single.”

“Was it Dark?” she calmly asked, channeling that uncanny ability of hers to escalate an innocent conversation.

“What do you mean?” I asked, hoping that she would stop herself if I acted dense.

“That kept you single.”

Apparently, she was dead set on digging. “I don’t think so. I loved him. He loved me. And we were star-crossed lovers that were never meant to be. If anything, it probably was the huge emotional dependency that came with that relationship that’s kept me single.”

“And Hiwatari only made it worse.”

“…yeah. Even though we were friends, I carried a lot from that relationship. More so than Ritsuko and Mari combined.”

Riku raised her eyebrows, as if my claim that Hiwatari and I were friends wasn’t true. “We were friends! F-R-I-E-N-D-S! Why is that not registering in your brain?!”

She laughed. “Sorry. It’s too awkward for me to see you mope like that. And, well, any relationship comes with emotional dependency. You just have to find one that doesn’t have one as high as those.”

“I know.”

“So was it just the emotional dependency issues keeping you from dating?”

It wasn’t. I never even gave any of those guys I went on dates with a chance. Just the idea of letting them in and getting attached to them romantically scared me. If I couldn’t trust myself in a state of infatuation, how could I trust anyone else while I was in said state? To give them a part of me only to have them drop it on the floor in an instant? Who wouldn’t find that absolutely terrifying?

Sure, most of the breakups I’ve heard never reached such dramatic extremes, but I still—

“The fact that you’re not answering me means that there’re more reasons, but you don’t want to tell me about them.” She shook her head. “If this happened because of life in general, I’m sorry and slightly worried about you. But I swear, if it’s someone else’s fault that turned you into someone unwilling to pursue romance, they’re going to have to pay for what they’ve done!” She waved her fork around, almost as if she was practicing for their meeting.

I laughed, appreciating her humorous take on supporting me. But if she ever did find out, I wasn’t sure what she’d do. There were too many possibilities, but I knew they would all be awful.

Once we finished our meal, after transitioning into some talk about skincare, I ordered a drink. Two drinks. Okay, more than two drinks. Riku just watched me with amusement and enlightenment.

“So this is where you go to lose yourself!”

“I can’t help it! These drinks are good!”

“Yeah, good for worrying other people!”

“Come on! Just try a sip! Please!”

She took one. “Okay. I admit it. They’re pretty good, but I’m leaving you here if you have one more.

I whimpered, but she just laughed before looking out the window. I followed her gaze to the sun setting, casting its warm hues on the ocean and filling me with a sense of peace I hadn’t felt in far too long.

“You’re gifted with such a lovely view every day.” She sighed. “One day, there’s going to be someone who’s going to find you to be just as beautiful as this. You’re going to find them equally, if not more, beautiful in return, and that feeling you have right now? That’s how it’s going to feel. None of this despair and anxiety: just peace.”

I blinked, shifting my attention towards Riku, who had a comforting smile on her face. She extended her hand, patting me on the shoulder before grabbing my drink and quickly chugging it down.

“Enough of this mushy stuff; I’m starting to creep myself out.”

Silence.

I focused on my breathing, trying to block out my heartbeats booming in my ears. No matter how hard I tried to run away from my truth, it always came back loud and clear: a deafening reminder of what I gave and couldn’t receive in return.

“Risa?” he asked, nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck. “Are you still awake?”

“Mmhmm.”

“I…never thought I’d get this close to anyone.”

“What about Daisuke?”

“Am I currently cradling him in my arms?”

“Well, no. And you shouldn’t because he’s taken.”

His chest rumbled as he laughed, but the atmosphere that briefly lightened turned heavy again. The intimacy returned once more, and something inside of me was slowly dying.

“After everything, I never thought that I would ever let anyone else into my life. But then Daisuke came along, bringing you, Riku, and that family of his into this once very small world of mine. The days I’ve spent with you all, especially considering how much time I thought I had left, are precious to me. But the moments with you are the ones I cherish the most.”

“Because you love me?” I asked, mouth dry from those empty words.

“Yes, because I love you very, very much…”

I rolled over, nuzzling my pillow to drone out the crescendo and fluctuating rhythm inside me. Hiwatari copied my motions, spooning me from behind. His fingers grazed my heck as he brushed my hair aside, leaving butterfly kisses that trailed from my hairline to the nape of my neck. One of his hands found itself under my shirt, slightly caressing my sides.

I closed my eyes, trying to focus on anything but his searing touch.

Perhaps he found peace in these moments with me because he finally had a home for his heart that the Niwas, that Daisuke even, couldn’t offer him. And I wanted to find that peace too, to feel safe in his arms, but I couldn’t just contently wear the blindfold I had forced upon myself. It hurt too much.

The happiness I initially found myself embroiled with quickly waned as my feelings grew, having come to terms with the fact that I had found myself in a fruitless relationship that I had no intention or energy to pull myself out of. All I could do was foolishly trust my heart to someone who could offer no concrete promises, subjecting myself to a flow I never had any control over. I would “enjoy” the moment before mentally berating myself for it, rinsing and repeating until…

Well, either way, unless a miracle occurred, I’d find myself broken anyway.

After that ridiculously long flight, I stumbled into the baggage claim, more than ready to collect my luggage and get some fresh Viennese air. Kosuke, despite Hiwatari and I being adults perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves, fussed over us as he fixed our hair and straightened as much as he could of our wrinkled clothing.

I hobbled over to Hiwatari, struggling to keep myself upright after being immobile for far too long. “Aren’t we meeting your uncle at the airport?”

“Yes, he should be here soon.”

I yawned. “Well, he better, because I don’t know how much longer I can—”

“Satoshi! It’s been so long!”

My blood went cold.

#dnangel #satoshi hiwatari #risa harada #my writing #fanfiction #i can't believe this is 8000 words #originally it was under 8000 #but i had rewritten the Riku scene while typing it up and i just so happened to write it in such a way that the flashback worked #like honestly you'd think that this was a hard chapter to write just because of how heavy all this content is #but nooooo it's the dinner scene where satoshi is talking about his love for musicals #like i don't even #anyways onto more spoiler-y stuff #originally kei actually died from suicide #but considering that keiko loves kei i kept him alive #and it also adds more development for satoshi #and i just couldn't pass up the opportunity of writing some kosuke and kei interaction #and risa and kei interaction? expect that too #i also wasn't meaning to add that scene at the end but like...i felt guilty letting you guys think that kei was actually dead for two weeks #the vienna chapters are going to be crazy fun to write though i'm so excited #like i'm so excited for parallels and uncommon interactions and THEY'VE COME FULL CIRCLE GUYS

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lady-on-the-grey · 7 years ago

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So I was tagged in a thing by @lesblion for this thing

the last 1. drink: coffee or water 2. phone call: my bubbie 3. text message: marty! (@teabank if you want their blog) 4. song you listened to: well right now I’m listening to a shit ton of Miyazaki movie music, all by Joe Hisaishi of course. But that’s not really songs, so I guess the last song I listened to was Rouge No Dengon from Kiki’s Delivery Service, which does have lyrics and is all fun. I’m kind of on a Ghibli kick rn, any other day this answer wouldv’ve probably been some Mitski or LAKE song. 5. time you cried: recently I think, but I can’t remember specifics. time isn’t real

6. dated someone twice: not applicable, I don’t date at all screw that shit 7. kissed someone and regretted it: once more, not applicable 8. been cheated on: n/a 9. lost someone special: that’s kind of vague. does this mean death? or just them being gone? Because I kind of have both 10. been depressed: that’s a loaded question 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: never been drunk.

3 favorite colors 12. black 13. grey (you may have noticed a theme) 14. olive green? maybe? I love colors, but I don’t wear them much lol, so I dunno, I don’t really have favorite colors. There’s different very lovely colors for every occasion. I like red. Anything is cool, depends on my mood

in the last year have you 15. made new friends: yes! I plan to keep my friend group small still, I like having a small amount of people to keep in contact with and all, but yes, I’ve made several very good friends! 16. fallen out of love: love is fake lol 17. laughed until you cried: I think? Yeah I have 18. found out someone was talking about you: yeah, I don’t really have to find that out, people do it all the time and I hate it, but it’s a very common aspect of my life. I’m used to it 19. met someone who changed you: I dunno, I feel like it would take a lot to change me in a big way, but everyone changed you a little at least. I probably have. If I have I probably haven’t noticed it, that’s difficult to track though. (I would like to point out the very nice and good response Ariel had for this one, ilu buddy! You’re the greatest!) 20. found out who your friends are: I guess so. What does this mean exactly? 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: what’s a facebook

general 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: see number 21 23. do you have any pets: YESSS I have five cats! Three adults and two kittens. (Warning, sadness ahead) We used to have another cat but he recently passed, and we all miss him very much. I know it’s weird to mention that in this question, but it feels weird and wrong not to mention for me. We had him for like my whole life. 24. do you want to change your name: I used to really want to go by my middle name, Grey. I feel ambivalent now. I’m okay with my name, it’s a bit boring, but I don’t mind it. It’s a nice name, I don’t think it suits me. Plus I don’t like that my first name is the last name of a neo nazi lol, but that’s not that big a deal. It just puts a sour taste in my mouth. 25. what did you do for your last birthday: I went out to get Polynesian food and hibachi and stuff. I was very stressed and anxious the whole night. I think a few days later or before @gummybird took me to see a cure for wellness, which was one of THE worst films we’ve ever seen in theaters. And we go to the movie theater to specifically watch bad movies together. He also gave me a DS and a bunch of mini kit kats. Thank you Jay (I know it’s been like like more than four months, shush, thank you anyway) 26. what time did you wake up: which time? I wake up like five separate times every damn morning. I’ve set three different alarms with different tones at completely different times to ensure I’ll get up at a reasonable hour, and I still fall asleep immediately after turning them off. 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: showering 28. name something you can’t wait for: @nicehairprincess AND @listeningforpudding COMING BACK TO AMERICA THIS MONTH!!! They’re gonna be here tomorrow for the party my mom is throwing at our house that I don’t want to be at lol (parties make me anxious as all hell) 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: maybe 40 mins ago 31. what are you listening to right now: a fan in my room 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: probably 33. something that is getting on your nerves: my brother is a little pissbaby who gets defensive at everything and can’t ever admit he was wrong. My mom does the same thing. It get’s on my nerves every day 34. most visited website: tumbo dot com

35. hair colour: dirty blond 36. long or short hair: on the long end of short. I’m thinkong of either growing it out of getting one of those cute little fluffy furly mohawk lookin’ things. I wanna do something new with it 37. do you have a crush on someone: see numbers 6, 7, or 16. You’ll notice a theme happening here. 38. what do you like about yourself: next question (I legitimately hate everything about myself, not an over exaggeration. I don’t view it as some tragedy though, I just don’t like myself)

39. piercings: none 40. blood type: blood 41. nickname: god there’s too many. My dad calls me senor speedskate. Everyone else just calls me “that little bitch” 42. relationship status: alone and wouldn’t have it any other way, see number 37 43. zodiac: pisces 44. pronouns: he/him or they/them. tbh I don’t give a shit about pronouns, I probably wouldn’t use any if that wasn’t the most inconvenient thing. The only reason I primarily use he/him is because I’m used to it 45. favourite tv show: gravity falls yo! but it’s over and I’m still crying. my favorite show that’s currently still running is star vs,I can’t wait for the update!! 46. tattoos: none. I may or may not ever get one, I don’t really care 47. right or left handed: right

48. surgery: none? Once I had to get stitches on my head after i cracked it open on a radiator 49. sport: ew, that’s a slur 50. vacation: when I was like 4 my family went to disney? then every summer up until I was in like fifth grade I think we rented a beach house for the last week of summer 51. pair of trainers: ???? is this code or something? Do I need to break out a cryptogram book?

MORE GENERAL 52. eating: right now? nothing 53. drinking: nothing 54. i’m about to: stare blankly into space for four hours then probably shower at way too early in the morning like I usually do 55. waiting for: goddamn anything to happen 56. want: to be less of a sadsack boring peice of nothing lol 57. get married: how dare you say the m word to me 58. career: animator and a lot of other things probably, but the man=in thing is animation and writing

WHICH IS BETTER 59. hugs or kisses: hugs, but please don’t make me do too many. If I hug you it’s fine, if you hug me we got a problem 60. lips or eyes: both, duh. I fnd them both to be visually interesting 61. shorter or taller: both are good, but I’m tall, which I prefer for me 62. older or younger: um what 63. nice arms or nice stomach: why should I choose, they’re just bodies. I don’t care how other’s look so long as mine is good 64. hook up or relationship: hook up but I’ve never done one and probably never will lol. Ain’t no great tragedy 65. troublemaker or hesitant: the two aren’t mutually exclusive. I’m very much both

HAVE YOU EVER: 66. kissed a stranger: no 67. drank hard liquor: no, because taking sips from my older sibling’s cups doesn’t count. The most I’ve had is a beer equivalent like 5% abv thing. It was cherry flavored. But that’s not hard liquor 68. lost glasses/contact lenses: my eyes are in working order, I don’t need those 69. turned someone down: it’s a hobby of mine 70. sex on the first date: I don’t date, binch 71. broken someone’s heart: how would I know that 72. had your heart broken: this is vague but it probably means romantic, so no 73. been arrested: no 74. cried when someone died: not when a human being died, but there have been cats. and friends nearly dying that got me hella upset. 75. fallen for a friend: look, I have some very nice friends but not on your goddamn life

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 76. yourself: did you not read the little shpeil I had about hating myself? Also, it depends 77. miracles: cat’s count as miracles I think 78. love at first sight: no 79. santa claus: I’m an adult. No 80. kiss on the first date: ??? is that somthing I can or cannot beleive in?? it exists whether I do it or not??? 81. angels: no, though the thought is nice, but no

OTHER: 82. current best friend’s name: I have several best friends, I don’t like to categorize my friends, it feels weird, but I’ll just say that Jay and Beck are my closest friends 83. eye colour: like this really muted blue 84. favourite movie: Coraline. But I have a lot of favorites, I talk about them frequently.

I tag @cllusterfuck and @teabank I guess? and anybody who wants to

#selfawaregothkid talks #long post #answer #questions

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crtranscript · 8 years ago

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Talks Machina: After Dark - March 7, 2017

Transcribed by Critter Ryan McClure (@IHaveThatPower) and edited by @CRTranscript!

[The camera starts focused on the big Trinket statue, with Marisha, Travis, and Gil trying to pick its nose.]

MARISHA: Twinket!

MATT: Yay, Twinket!

BRIAN: Twinket!

TRAVIS: Yeah!

MARISHA: Twinket!

BRIAN: He’s shielding his eyes from a blacklight.

[Back to focusing on the group.]

MATT: For the record, you ever heard the sound a grizzly bear makes?

TRAVIS: No.

MATT: Fuckin’ weird.

TRAVIS: [guffaws]

MATT: You think grizzly bear, you hear the sounds they make in movies, and there’s like one or two good, like, audio clips of grizzly bears and most of them are like [makes grizzly bear sounds that sound ridiculous] and you’re like, “...what?! Really?!”

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah, I gotta drop the bass on that thing.

MATT: Yeah, man.

TRAVIS: [imitates the noises Matt made]

MATT: That’s nature fuckin’ with you. Anyway. Sorry. It’s your show. Hi.

BRIAN: They had the guy who did, uh, they had the guy who did Chunk do the--

[all laughing]

TRAVIS: [imitating Sloth from Goonies] Heyyyy youu guyyyys!

ASHLEY: [imitating Sloth from Goonies] Hey you guyyyyys!

BRIAN: Well, Ashley’s here.

[all greeting Ashley with excitement]

ASHLEY: Hello!

BRIAN: She’s sharing the chair with me.

MATT: You’re a cute couple.

MARISHA: I love it.

BRIAN: How are you?

ASHLEY: [through laughter] I’m great, how are you?

[all laughing]

TRAVIS: Y’all look like you’re on a carnival ride for kids.

[all laughing]

MATT: And she wants her friend to give her an out right now so bad.

BRIAN: Put your hands up. [imitates throwing hands in the air as if on a roller coaster]

[all making “Wee!” noises]

BRIAN: Um. Okay. Question for all, but especially Matt.

MATT: Oh god.

TRAVIS: So, just Matt.

BRIAN: What has been the best/worst... [Ashley starts giggling, then he starts singing to Ashley] Sometimes when we touch…

ASHLEY: Noooo.

BRIAN: ...she screams “No.”

ASHLEY: [mock protesting] Don’t do it!

BRIAN: What has been the best/worst or most unusual or most hilarious or most foul thing shouted just before the stream starts?

[all going “Ohhhhh!”]

TRAVIS: Great fuckin’ question.

BRIAN: Liam is very good.

MATT: Liam is very good.

BRIAN: Sam is very good.

MATT: Everyone else has caught onto it, which is really frustrating. What about, what are your guys’ answers?

TRAVIS: I usually say, like, kitty nipples or like, uh, skittle farts, or chuckle nut, chuckle balls. It’s an inspiration thing, it has to strike you at the right time.

MARISHA: There’s been, like, weird ones, normally based off of the beasts we’re about to fight, like tentacle taint or, yeah, y’know.

TRAVIS: I went with “grape nuts” one time.

MARISHA: [continuing] Yeah, illithid scrote… [talking with Gil in the background]

BRIAN: Grape nuts?!

TRAVIS: Grape nuts! Yeah, grape nuts I think actually got Mercer pretty good, ‘cause... fuckin’ ...grape nuts.

BRIAN: Grape nuts.

MATT: Yeah, grape nuts. The one that got me once--it got me because I could see it too viscerally in my head was like, dangly wrinkled goblin grundle?

[all laughing]

MATT: And my imagination went way too visceral and legitimate in my mind and I went “Hohh... welcome to Critical Role?” Like, I’m sure whatever episode it was…

TRAVIS: Your entire [inaudible] right in front of you.

MATT: Yeah, no, no, you can see like my whole body tense up as I’m like, “Mmm, I’m rejecting that image!”

TRAVIS: Rejecting! [chuckling]

BRIAN: If the stream comes on and Matt does one of these... [imitates Matt tilting his head in reaction to the off-screen taunting]

TRAVIS: Yeah!

ASHLEY: Yeah!

MATT: Yep.

BRIAN: ...they got him.

MATT: Yep.

TRAVIS: It was a good one.

ASHLEY: It was a good one.

BRIAN: Uh, Travis.

TRAVIS: Yep.

BRIAN: Between Umbracyl... Oom-brussle?

TRAVIS: Oom-brussle!

ASHLEY: Oooom-bruh-seal.

MATT: Oom-bruh-seal!

TRAVIS: Ooooom-bruh-SEAL!

BRIAN: ...and the kraken and any other I’m forgetting…

TRAVIS: Crack-EN.

BRIAN: ...is Grog going to develop a hatred, or worse a fear, of small, enclosed, warm places?

[all going “ohhhhh” and laughing]

TRAVIS: You know, Grog hand a fondness for those small, enclosed, warm places…

MATT: Actually, you weren’t swallowed by Umbracyl, you were swallowed by the Fey croc, the Feymire crocodile.

TRAVIS: That’s right, yeah, in the live show.

MATT: In the Feywild. Yeah.

MARISHA: Oh, that’s right.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I got chomped, I got chomped for sure. No fear. Grog’s got no fear because you’d have to have an intelligence to recognize the peril of your surroundings to develop a fear. I usually get swallowed and I’m like, “This is nice!”

MATT: So what you’re saying is your DeviantArt is filled with vore art now. Is that what’s going on?

[all making grossed-out sounds]

TRAVIS: Pretty much.

MATT: Good, great. Sorry, the internets ruined me a long time ago.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I can tell.

BRIAN: Ozzy Stern... wants to know.

MATT: Yes?

TRAVIS: Good pause.

BRIAN: Matt and the crew...

TRAVIS: Asshole.

BRIAN: ‘Cause you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about.

TRAVIS: Ozzy Stern [looks at watch and pauses dramatically] wants to know.

[all laughing]

BRIAN: Has the dragon vodka been drunk after the death of the Conclave and what did it taste like?

MARISHA: Wait, have we opened that yet?

MATT: The dragon vodka, we did. We had the dragon vodka and then we had the Arkenstone wine.

MARISHA: The wine, right.

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: The wine was incredible.

MATT: It [the vodka] was harsh.

MARISHA: The wine was so good.

MATT: I’m a vodka fan myself, as far as like drinks go like vodka and rum are the two of my choice and the vodka was really, really good.

BRIAN: I like, uh… vodka, too. I’m sorry, Travis.

TRAVIS: I know. I’m waiting.

MATT: God dammit.

BRIAN: Hey guys.

MATT: The dragon vodka was really cool. For those who didn’t know, it was a gift from a critter that sent this amazing bottle of vodka that had like gold flakes in it and it had like a glass dragon inside the bottle.

ASHLEY: Whoa.

MATT: It was absurd!

MARISHA: The gold flakes.

MATT: So thank you again!

MARISHA: I loved that on the back it said that it was like artisan infused with premium 24 carat gold flakes and I was like, “Baaaack the fuck out.”

TRAVIS: Artisan.

MATT: I was hoping that it was infused with actual artisans.

MARISHA: Yeah!

MATT: They just like distilled it from their bodies.

TRAVIS: That’d be better.

MATT: Yeah.

BRIAN: I can get you some of that.

MATT: Of course you--you can, Brian.

BRIAN: I know a guy. Goes by the name @GilTheVlogsmith. Travis, I have a question... we hope this is for you.

TRAVIS: Yeah, oh shit.

BRIAN: What would Grog do with a 20 Intelligence for 24 hours?

TRAVIS: I have no idea. I don’t know.

BRIAN: You have to have fantasized about it.

TRAVIS: Nope.

BRIAN: Asleep in your---

TRAVIS: No, that would take forethought and like planning and I don’t do either of those things with my character. I have no idea. I don’t know. I don’t know. I’m not sure. It’d depend on my mood that day. He could either be like a very benign, very helpful individual, right? He might try and, like, I don’t know. Build a better rocketship.

MARISHA: Better rocketship?

TRAVIS: Yeah. I want to visit that moon!

GIL: Grog with like a snifter. [in a high-class voice] “Oh yes, of course, why don’t you…”

BRIAN: He becomes all pretentious!

MATT: “I am the Grand Poobah of Thisnthat, yes.”

TRAVIS: I would probably try to go into Percy’s workshop and build something.

BRIAN: Yeah, but then they would find you in like Percy’s house, though, several hours later after having 20 Intelligence and you would be like “Come to the piano and hear an original composition.”

[all laughing]

MATT: And then this slow zoom on Percival as he starts crying listening to it.

[all laughing]

TRAVIS: That’s true!

ASHLEY: Make it happen!

BRIAN: Hey Ashley.

MATT: Grogless Strongjawess.

ASHLEY: Yeah!

MARISHA: Ashley!

ASHLEY: That’s me!

MARISHA: Hi!

BRIAN: This question is from Adonis.

ASHLEY: Oh!

BRIAN: Do you and Matt ever do one-on-ones... to figure out--

[all laughing]

ASHLEY: All the time.

BRIAN: Now be very careful about how you answer this.

MATT: Not here, Ashley.

BRIAN: Do you and Matt--wait, one-on-ones like on The Bachelor where they get a one-on-one date?

ASHLEY: A one-on-one date.

MATT: Yeah.

BRIAN: Do you guys ever do that? One-on-one dates where Pike is, uh, where you figure out what Pike is doing whenever she’s away?

MATT: I would if she wasn’t all the time on Blindspot.

BRIAN: I know.

MATT: I know. She’s busy being a TV star. And we discuss it--

ASHLEY: I wish we could.

MATT: We discuss it when you come back.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: We’ll talk about what you’ve been up to and how to tie it back into the story, but y’know, schedules are a pain in the butt.

ASHLEY: Yeah. I think when we had our home games I remember sometimes when I would miss, we did a coup--well, we did one--

MATT: Yeah, we did a one-on-one once, then we did one with you and Liam.

TRAVIS: That’s right, it was just the two of you guys.

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: Yeah.

ASHLEY: And then...

TRAVIS: And it was, like, brutal, right? Yeah.

ASHLEY: It was intense.

MATT: Yeah, you guys had to fight a chimaera.

ASHLEY: ‘Cause you don’t have as many people to go around to think about what you’re going to do, you’re just always like “Uh, okay, I’ll do this, I’ll do this.” And then we also did one, Sam, Liam, and I.

MATT: Yeah.

ASHLEY: But that was sort of learning... after Pathfinder when we switched over to see…?

MATT: We hadn’t switched over yet, that was still in Pathfinder. That was towards the end of the pre-stream era.

ASHLEY: Okay, yeah. So--

MATT: ‘Cause the rest of the party had fallen beneath Emon--

TRAVIS: And you were catching up.

ASHLEY: Yes, we were catching up.

MATT: --in the Crystalfen Caverns. Yeah.

ASHLEY: So that was basically the only times we’ve gotten to do... it was more like a two-on-one date.

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Even more exciting.

[Matt laughs]

ASHLEY: And neither of us went home.

BRIAN: Everybody got a rose.

ASHLEY: Yes, even more exciting.

MATT: Everybody got arosed.

TRAVIS: One more Bachelor reference…

BRIAN: Everybody got arosed!

ASHLEY: Oh shit!

BRIAN: Stay turnt! About to get arosed!

[all laughing]

BRIAN: Do you know where that’s from?

ASHLEY: That’s the best.

BRIAN: I’ll tell you later. Ashley.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

BRIAN: Johnny Bane 0415 wants to know--

ASHLEY: Okay. Hey Johnny.

BRIAN: How would Pike take the news of the party leaving Grog behind if he had been swallowed and dead in the kraken?

ASHLEY: I don’t even wanna--

TRAVIS: Clammed up.

ASHLEY: That would’ve been a bad... that would’ve been a bad idea.

MARISHA: Yeah. “Where’s Grog?”

ASHLEY & MARISHA: “Wellllllll…”

BRIAN: Yeah.

ASHLEY: I think she would’ve pulled a Scanlan.

MATT: He died as he lived…

TRAVIS: Oh yeah?

MARISHA: Really?

MATT: ...inside a giant fish?

ASHLEY: I think Pike would’ve pulled Scanlan--

GIL: In tight spaces?

MARISHA: And been like “peace”?

ASHLEY: And then just go like live under the sea until she found him.

TRAVIS: [singing] Under da Sea.

ASHLEY: And then like save his body ‘til she levels up, keeps his body in a bag of colding until she levels up and gets True Resurrection, even if it’s like hundreds of years, and then she would’ve resurrected him.

TRAVIS: [cute speak] Oh that’s the sweetest, most wonderful answer evah!

ASHLEY: Oh Grog!

TRAVIS: I love it! Pikey poo! [normal voice] That kraken is so lucky that they didn’t leave me behind. That’d be one dead tuna shell, man.

MARISHA: Oh my god, that would’ve been nuts!

ASHLEY: So drivel.

MARISHA: ‘Cause then you would’ve gone back and you would have either tried to get Grog out and died or like killed the kraken and still doomed my people!

TRAVIS: Yep.

ASHLEY: Wait, so if the kraken gets killed…

TRAVIS: Uh huh…

ASHLEY: That... your people... the kraken can’t be killed.

MATT: The logistics of it are that these krakens that exist on the water elemental plane, one of their waste products is these lodestones. These, like, concentrated magic, kinda similar to the whitestone--

TRAVIS: They poop pearls.

MATT: Yeah, kind of. Like, magnetic pearls. And they’re utilized to both maintain a very tight closure around the rift into the water elemental plane beneath Vesrah and they also maintain the capability of the temple and the reef to keep the city up. If those were, as they wane over time from power, the rift begins to open and the reef begins to sink and it all begins to condense inward, which would sink the entire city, which would open the rift and allow the kraken or other such creatures to begin to then spill out into the prime material plane.

TRAVIS: Meh, semantics.

MATT: So it’s--

BRIAN: Sounds fine.

MARISHA: No big.

MATT: Yeah. It’s an ecological circle.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: They rely on the circle. They rely on the kraken, but they must keep it outside of the rift, but they cannot kill it, but they have to be careful of it, and they lose waverunners all the time to it. They only have to go back once every like four or five years to try it. And, to be perfectly honest, if you guys had probably, things had gotten really bad and you shouted back into the portal like “We need help!” they probably would’ve sent people to come help.

GIL: Oh shit, really?

MARISHA: Really?

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: Oh.

BRIAN: Oh lord have Mercer, don’t tell them that after the fact!

MARISHA: I know!

MATT: It’s so much fun to tell after the fact, though!

BRIAN: Marisha, Marisha.

MARISHA: Yeah. Yes. Brian. Foster.

BRIAN: Blue Chibi wants to know…

MARISHA: Blue Chibi?

BRIAN: How does it feel to not be a part of the “I died” Club?

TRAVIS: [doing a voice] Blue chibi!

BRIAN: Do you feel left out and do you want to join?

MARISHA: No. It feels wonderful. It feels like privilege. It’s nice.

MATT: You’re the only one.

MARISHA: I am the only one.

TRAVIS: We can totally fix that.

MATT: I have to try twice as hard to kill you now.

ASHLEY: Wait, you’re the only one that has--

TRAVIS: Hasn’t died.

MARISHA: I haven’t died.

TRAVIS: I think--

BRIAN: I promise I will never die.

TRAVIS: --we gotta complete the circle, right? We should just kill her the second--

MARISHA: Suicide pact?

ASHLEY: Oh my god, you’re right!

MATT: And there’s a reason for that. [mockingly] Because she’s my fiancee and I give her special treatment.

[all laughing]

BRIAN: Oh yeah, we all know about that.

MARISHA: Don’t even say that in jest, ‘cause they’ll--no.

MATT: They’ve been shouting that shit from the beginning and the know that’s not true.

BRIAN: No, everybody knows that’s not true because go back and watch the moment she fell in the lava and you will see--

MARISHA: That’s true. That’s true.

BRIAN: --Matt trying not to--

MATT: No, no, we’ve had conversations about alternate characters if that were to happen. Trust me, trust me, if I was giving her special treatment… I wouldn’t be sleeping on the couch as often.

[Travis laughing]

BRIAN: Nobody’s invincible.

MARISHA: Don’t say that either! They think that too!

[all laughing]

BRIAN: That’s true! That’s true.

MARISHA: They think all of these things!

MATT: No, you’re right, you’re right. That doesn’t happen.

TRAVIS: They all think that Laura and I are half the time on the couch. And we never are.

MARISHA: Same here.

MATT: We enjoy their narrative, it’s fine.

MARISHA: You’re like “...no.” We drive home and we’re like “Have you heard this new song?”

TRAVIS: We’re eating Taco Bell on the way home.

MATT: Yeah, that’s basically us, too!

MARISHA: There’s always Taco Bell!

MATT: Always Taco Bell ‘cause that’s what’s up.

MARISHA: It’s the best.

TRAVIS: Only thing that’s open.

ASHLEY: So good, man.

MARISHA: Kind of food. Not food.

MATT: Loosely food.

BRIAN: Travis, Pale Archer--

TRAVIS: Sup, Art.

BRIAN: You seemed extremely calm for only having eight hit points at the end. What was going through your mind? Was it “This is a beast--” Nope! Was it a “This beast is the strongest thing ever so I’m okay if it kills me” kind of thing?

TRAVIS: Mm.

[long pause]

TRAVIS: Is there more to that question?

BRIAN: Because I put my thumb out? I was counting how many times it took me to aks [sic] it correctly.

[all laughing]

BRIAN: That’s why I do that. I go “Here we go, I get five of these before I have to move on to another question.”

TRAVIS: It threw me! Uh... I’m just a stone-cold motherfucker, y’know? Nothing shakes me. No.

ASHLEY: Stone Cold!

TRAVIS: I know. When I got to the door--

BRIAN: You sounded very tough. You sound like a great hype man.

TRAVIS: [imitating Ashley] “Stone Cold!”

ASHLEY: Stone Cold!

TRAVIS: When Percy cast Friends, there was a little wrinkle in my visage ‘cause I was like, “Oh, I was ready to go, ‘cause I got--Daddy got almost single digits in hit points. I’m gonna go get him--”

BRIAN: You call yourself Daddy?

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah.

[all laughing]

TRAVIS: Yeah, “Daddy--Daddy gotta go get--”

BRIAN: I’m just making sure talking about you still.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: To be fair, that's his character background.

TRAVIS: “Daddy gotta go get Tary.” And then I got back and Mercer’s like “You get almost to the portal,” and I’m like just sitting there with this asshole going like “...cool!” Taliesin goes, “Well, I come and get them,” and Matt’s like, “You can get Tary,” and I was like “...sure! This’ll be fuckin’ great!” [slurping noises] “There we go, we’re back in here again.” And if I didn't manage to puke myself out, that was, that was bruschetta.

MATT: Yeah. Which is why I tweeted the picture of the saving throw.

MARISHA: Bruschetta.

MATT: ‘Cause it wa like, you need-- if it’d rolled a ten or higher, you’d’ve been stuck in there. I rolled an ine and I’m like “No one’s gonna fuckin’ believe this.”

TRAVIS: Yeah!

MATT: I have to tweet out rolls now ‘cause people are like “Oh, there’s no fuckin’ way!” And I post it and like “See?” and they go “...there’s no fuckin way!” and I’m like “Alright, whatever.”

TRAVIS: And plus it’s also once one person’s dead, it’s easier--I feel like it’s easier to join the dead--like, the list of dead people. If you’re the first one you’re like “I don’t wanna be the first!” but if Vax is already dead I’m like, “Hey! Dead homies!”

BRIAN: Dead homies!

MARISHA: We’ve never had to go through like a ritual resurrection process with you. It’s just always been a quick Revivify.

TRAVIS: Right.

MARISHA: Right? We’ve gotten you in time.

TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Yep.

MARISHA: Are we the only ones though that haven’t gone through rituals?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

GIL: With the um, what was that, the sword, Craven Edge.

BRIAN: Craven Edge, yeah.

GIL: Wasn’t that still a--

MATT: We did a very quick ritual.

TRAVIS: Oh it was a ritual, yeah.

MATT: I was still figuring out the rules for the time. I was learning how to adjust the resurrection process.

MARISHA: Oh, that’s right. That’s right.

TRAVIS: ‘Cause we did it right then and there outside of the cave.

MATT: I hadn’t considered Revivify and the process at that point, so I was trying something out.

TRAVIS: Right.

MARISHA: Right.

MATT: I’ve since honed it.

TRAVIS: Now it’s just you. You just have to die.

BRIAN: Thank god.

MARISHA: Last man standing!

TRAVIS: Flatliner.

MARISHA: What’s up!

BRIAN: Flatliner.

MARISHA: Flatliner.

TRAVIS: You’re the only one has to take the journey.

MATT: It’s true.

TRAVIS: How do you want to go?

MARISHA: How do I want to go?

TRAVIS: Poison?

BRIAN: How do you want to die this?

TRAVIS: Bludgeoning? [in an accent] How do you want to die dis?

BRIAN: How d’ye der de der dis.

MARISHA: I don’t know, like I said, being eaten by a kraken would’ve been epic.

TRAVIS: Yep. And permanent.

MARISHA: My biggest fear was that I was gonna trip and faceplant in lava. And then that happened. So as long as it’s not embarrassing--

GIL: Bucket list.

MARISHA: Yeah!

MATT: Valid point.

TRAVIS: That was the best description

MARISHA: ‘cause nothing’s worse than dying from something completely unrelated to the circumstances that are actually going on.

MATT: Well, it’s like can you imagine the actual funeral? “We will remember her as a wonderful lively friend who gave her life... uh... well she lost her life… she was fuckin’ clumsy. It really sucked. We’re sorry.”

MARISHA: She could control weather, but--

TRAVIS: Fell face-first.

MARISHA: --those slippy embankments. Gotta be careful of those!

MATT: Perhaps we should’ve bought her shoes with better tread!

GIL: Boat shoes?

MARISHA: Boat shoes! “Had those boat shoes come sooner--”

MATT: Been there this whole time!

BRIAN: Keyleth died doing what she loved: a series of errors.

[all laughing]

TRAVIS: Amazing.

MARISHA: Fucking failing.

BRIAN: Hey Ashley.

ASHLEY: Oh god. Yeah?

BRIAN: Undercover Goth…

ASHLEY: Yes?

TRAVIS: Is that Taliesin?

MARISHA: That’s his protege.

ASHLEY: He’s not undercover.

TRAVIS: No, he’s not undercover, you’re right.

BRIAN: I think it’s undercover, then out-there-in-the-open, then executive--he’s sort of the--

TRAVIS: Executive Goth, yeah.

MARISHA: He’s like the goth mafia.

BRIAN: He’s like the guy over there petting the cat, y’know? He’s the evil executive.

MATT: Yeah, like there’s fuckin “weird travestite” and then there’s “executive transvestite.”

BRIAN: Yeah. Eddie Izzard. Correct. That’s the correct pronunciation. Ashley! Undercover Goth--

ASHLEY: Mm-hmm?

BRIAN: I just watched four--fuuh--I just watched--

[?Denise? laughing off-screen]

BRIAN: --Force Grey this weekend, where you also played a cleric. Would you ever play a--don’t read--I’m reading it to you!

ASHLEY: I’m sorry, I’m sorry! It’s in front of me so it’s hard not to read it!

BRIAN: Would you ever play a different class or do you love clerics so much? Also, you’re very beautiful up close.

ASHLEY: Thank you! So much.

MARISHA: Awww.

TRAVIS: Gross.

BRIAN: Never really get this close.

[all laughing]

GIL: Just Skype.

BRIAN: We sleep like Dick Van Dyke in that show, y’know?

TRAVIS: Two different beds? I Love Lucy?

BRIAN: There’s one for all you youngsters, though. Anyway. Clerics?

TRAVIS: [laughing] Dick Van Dyke.

ASHLEY: We had, for Force Grey, we had kind of, I was thinking maybe I was gonna play something different, but I think when we had all talked about it, they were like “Just play a cleric,” because there wasn’t one in the group yet?

MATT: Yeah.

ASHLEY: I can’t remember.

MATT: The folks at Wizard were like “Hey! She plays a cleric really well. We need somebody who knows what they’re doing. Can she play a cleric again?” Was kind of what it came down to.

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: Because a lot of the players hadn’t played the game before.

ASHLEY: And I was actually okay with it because I still sometimes feel very inexperienced in this game, so I think I wanted, since that was gonna be something that was gonna be recorded, well it’s something that I kind of already know how to do. And I think with that group, I had the most experience, I was like “Uh oh.”

MATT: Yep!

ASHLEY: But it was great. I mean, you can play it even if you don’t have experience, it’s awesome. But I would like to play something else. I have been prepping another character.

MATT: Next campaign.

TRAVIS: You have?

ASHLEY: For our next campaign, yeah, so I’ve been thinking about... I have a name. I have... some things figured out. Um, and I’m excited. I don’t--I’m not putting it out there.

MARISHA: No, you can’t.

MATT: Keep it under wraps.

MARISHA: None of us have.

BRIAN: Don’t put it out there now.

ASHLEY: Pike is gonna be old and gray and, y’know, die in her sleep.

TRAVIS: I have no idea.

GIL: Pike the Second is what it is.

ASHLEY: It’s Pike the Second. Real original. But yes, I would like to play another class.

BRIAN: I’ll let Undercover Goth know.

TRAVIS: I’m gonna play a Paladin named Greg.

MARISHA: Yo, Greg.

GIL: Grog’s cousin?

TRAVIS: Yep.

MARISHA: Yeah!

BRIAN: Here we go. Last question. [long pause] Hold on, where’d it go.

[all laughing]

BRIAN: Ashley, Marisha, Travis, Gil: a Wish spell goes awry and the world turns into a Super genre RPG. What are your characters’ superhero names?

MARISHA: In real life?

BRIAN: In real life.

TRAVIS: Arse Queef.

BRIAN: The world turns into a Super genre RPG.

GIL: The Void.

BRIAN: The Void! Gil the Voidsmith!

MARISHA: I have to go with Calamity Ray.

TRAVIS: Oh, that’s good.

BRIAN: Calamity Ray.

ASHLEY: Oh, god, that’s good. Okay, so we’re doing our own names.

MARISHA: Yeah. Playa name.

TRAVIS: Oh sit.

BRIAN: Tarvis?

TRAVIS: I’ll take my Xbox user gamertag.

BRIAN & TRAVIS: Meaty Albatross.

BRIAN: It means Willingham.

TRAVIS: Yep. I didn’t pick it for any fuckin’ reason other than that it was a suggestion and it looked stupid as hell.

ASHLEY: Oh, it was a suggestion?!

BRIAN: It was a suggestion! At a con or something, wasn’t it?

TRAVIS: No, like a previous username of mine, they were like you can’t, you can’t have that name.

BRIAN: Oh! ‘Cause that one was inapp-- yeah, that one was.

TRAVIS: It was a no-no. So they sent me like three suggestions--

MATT: What was your previous name?

TRAVIS: So my last name is Willingham and in my--in a drunken night of stupor I came up with “Raped Bacon.”

MATT: Oh wow!

GIL: Oh my god.

TRAVIS: Instead of, like, “Willing Ham.”

MARISHA: “Willing Ham!”

TRAVIS: But it was great, because--

BRIAN: I did not think he was going to say that!

MARISHA: Holy shit.

GIL: Holy shit.

TRAVIS: So they came up with like Velvet Octopus 83, something else, and then Meaty Albatross.

ASHLEY: [laughing] Velvet Octopus.

MATT: Meaty Albatross was the--

TRAVIS: That one. That one. It’s so stupid.

MATT: Meaty Albatross is a pretty great name in general. Good band name. Good app name.

TRAVIS: Yeah, it is. It’s good.

MATT: New on iOS, Meaty Albatross.

TRAVIS: Yeah. And my superhero character will obviously have to have wings or something. And meat.

MATT: Very thick wings.

TRAVIS: Lot of, just--

MATT: Wings fuckin’ ripped.

TRAVIS: Giant ripped-out wings, but I’m like Ichabod Crane.

MARISHA: Instead of feathers, it’s just like bacon.

TRAVIS: Yeah!

MATT: Ashley, what’s yours?

MARISHA: So you’re saying in the future you want to be the pig that flies?

TRAVIS: I’m okay with that.

MARISHA: That’s pretty great.

TRAVIS: It works.

BRIAN: The Void, Calamity Ray, Meaty Albatross…

ASHLEY: Gosh, I’m not good at thinking of these types of things!

BRIAN: Yes you are, you just need time. And we’ve got it, baby. Just kidding, we’re out of time.

MARISHA: Just kidding, we’re out of time!

[all laughing]

BRIAN: Max is over there like [makes wrap it up motion]. [To Matt] Do you have one?

MATT: I wasn’t asked the question.

ASHLEY: Yeah, you were.

MATT: I specifically wasn’t.

ASHLEY: You were not, but what would yours be?

MATT: Doesn’t matter, I wasn’t asked the question. That’s all we have for tonight folks.

MARISHA: Ohhh!

TRAVIS: Beautiful.

BRIAN: Toss to the next thing. What’s after us?

MATT: Uh.

ASHLEY: Oh, do it!

BRIAN: Nine PM.

MATT: Why is this my question?!

BRIAN: You just, you took over the show and decided to toss--end the show. You said that’s all the time we have. Tell them what’s next.

MARISHA: So now you have to.

ASHLEY: Do it! Do it!

BRIAN: Tell them what’s next. It’s right there.

MATT: Okay. [bewildered voice] Hey guys. Thanks so much for watching--

BRIAN: [responding to someone off screen] What? No, but it’s, we’re telling them to go back to Twitch. Give me that.

MATT: NO! IT’S MY SHOW! [bewildered voice again] Go back to Twitch and then at 9pm, there’ll be AXYB coming up at 9pm on Twitch after this show. Thank you for watching. [starts chewing on the card]

TRAVIS: I don’t know.

MARISHA: That was so good.

TRAVIS: That was rough.

MARISHA: Good at worldbuilding.

ASHLEY: Like a little kid.

MARISHA: You know what?

MARISHA: You’re good at worldbuilding.

GIL: What are words?

ASHLEY: What do I mean in these words?

TRAVIS: Just keep growing your hair.

BRIAN: Still better than the first episode of this show.

MATT: Oh yeah, well.

BRIAN: That’s all the time we have for tonight folks. What should we do? Should we read a bedtime story?

ASHLEY: Yeah!

BRIAN: Should we stay here? Should we go?

TRAVIS: There once was a mouse. He died.

ASHLEY: We could go.

BRIAN: Well guys. Guess this is a perfect time to announce...AXYB is back. Go over to Twitch and watch them now. We love you. Good night!

[all cheering]

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