#and risa and kei interaction? expect that too

[satorisa]

Lift the Veil - Chapter 12:  Easily

Rating: T

Summary: After living in Tokyo for the past six years, she decides to head back to Azumano to escape the big city. However, she now has to face everything that she tried to flee from all those years ago. How exactly will she fare when the pages of a long forgotten book start turning once more?

Alternate links for reading available in my description!

Hover over the chapter title if you’d like some easy listening to compliment this spicy update! ;)

(please take this before finals hell hits me because feelings hell already has and i am currently drowning in them while clinging onto anything to get me out of it.)

Chapter 12 – Easily

Coming and going, inside out, back to front all tangled and messy: that’s how we’ve been

The morning following our return, I received an e-mail asking me to head into the news station first thing in the morning. And so, stricken with a terrible case of jet lag, I trudged in looking as fierce as I could to mask the tiredness, greeting the ever-present security guard and coworkers I’d barely spoken to until I arrived at my superior’s office. He greeted me, all smiles, insisting that I sit down despite telling him I was fine standing up; if I sank down into that ottoman, I knew I’d pass out immediately.

“I’m sure you’ve heard about Sugisaki-san’s retirement last week.”

I remembered Takeshi mentioning an old coot finally leaving a while back and skimming through an e-mail while in Vienna about someone’s many years of hard work, but I didn’t recall who exactly it was, so I just nodded. At least I had an idea.

“That old coot’s been here longer than I’ve been in charge, and it was something to see that man churn out broadcast after broadcast with those bony hands of his!” He laughed. “We’re sad to see such an integral part of our team go, but it’s better he leaves before he actually breaks like a twig!” Yet another round of laughter. “However, his departure has opened up a spot on our broadcasting team and so, with our station’s best interests in mind, we decided to have you take his role!”

This didn’t come as a surprise from all the office gossip I had heard so, with a practiced smile, I thanked him. He tried to make small talk, but I told him that I needed to delegate my work to the other editors and talk to the team to understand what my promotion entailed, so he let me go.

I headed to my cubicle and took out my phone to share the news. I called Takeshi first since he deserved (and needed) to hear the news before anyone else. He picked up not even after a full ring, asking me what was holding me up.

“Good morning to you, too,” I answered.

“Don’t give me your sass. I know you’re back; is it the jetlag? Still at your apartment?”

“Nope. I’m actually at the news station; I’ve been promoted to become a part of the broadcasting team.”

“Congratulations, Risa! I mean, I’m not surprised because of all those rumors that were floating around, but damn, I wish I could be super happy for you.”

“What? Jealous of me going places in my life?”

“Nah, I’m perfectly fine living the life of a groveling reporter. I just wish they’d given me some prior notice about your promotion; I’m gonna miss ya, Risa.”

“Aw. I appreciate your sentiment, but you really should save that for Akane.”

Takeshi groaned. “I swear, you and the Chief always have to ruin a good thing with ya’lls sarcasm. Anyhow, I should probably—Chief!”

“What the hell do you want?” I heard Hiwatari grumble softy from the receiver. Yikes.

“It’s Risa!” I could imagine Takeshi shoving his phone in front of Hiwatari’s unamused face.

“…why should I take it?’

“Dude, I know you woke up on the wrong side of the bed, clearly, but just briefly entertain me. Please. You won’t be disappointed.”

Hiwatari sighed, and I could hear him grabbing the phone from Takeshi. “Hello, Harada-san. Has jet lag pinned our one and only editor to her bed, which explains her absence this morning?”

“Haha, very funny,” I drawled. “Don’t doubt I’ll be pinned to some sort of seat soon because yeah, it’s killing me right now, but no. I’m actually at the news station right now. I just got promoted a while ago.”

“Really? Congratulations, Harada-san. I’m finally free from your extended company in my station. Takeshi, grab the salt so we can cleanse this place of her presence.”

I heard Takeshi cackling in the background while I rolled my eyes. “In all seriousness, I’m happy for you. Really. I’m sure Takeshi’s planning something for your lunch later underneath that bed head of his, but I have a prior engagement, so I won’t be able to be there. How does dinner at my apartment sound?”

“Oh my, Hiwatari-san! So forward! You’re making me blush!”

“Ha. Ha.”

“You’re no fun.”

“Glad to disappoint.”

“But yeah, that sounds good.”

“I’m glad. I’ll see you later then.” I heard him hand the phone to Takeshi.

“Yo, how the hell did you manage to cheer him up so quickly? He looked about ready to kill everyone within a meter of him when he walked in this morning slightly late.”

“Happiness is contagious?”

“Are you sure it’s happiness, or is it—”

“No.”

“Come on! Lemme have my fun here.”

“And risk having Hiwatari return to his foul mood because he overheard you spouting nonsense?”

“You right. Anyways, stay hungry because I’ve got a feast planned for you later!”

“Hopefully packed with caffeine and B-12 vitamins to help me get through this day?”

“Does tiramisu work?”

“Good enough.”

“Anyways, you should—huh?” I heard muffled mumbling. “Hey, Chief said to make sure to call your parents about it.”

“Huh.”

“Weeird. Anyways, good luck with today! You’re gonna kill it, Boss.”

With a smile on my face, we hung up. I decided to message Riku, Daisuke, and Ritsuko since I figured they’d be busy. Hiwatari’s words hung in my mind as I pulled up my mother’s number. My thumb hovered over it until I took a deep breath and decided to call her.

I expected to get her voicemail, but she picked up, greeting me with that light-hearted tone of hers. “Good morning, Risa, dear. How’re you?”

“I…um…got promoted. I’ll be working on the broadcast now instead of editing stories.”

“Congratulations! Have you told your father yet?”

“No. I was going to call him after I called you.”

“Well, we should celebrate this! Is there a day when you’re free for dinner?”

“I’ll…um…I’ll let you know later. Thanks, Mom.”

“You’re very welcome!”

We said nothing for several seconds, and I gulped. Did she have anything else to say? Did I have anything else to tell her? I—

“Well, I’ll leave you to call your father. Have a nice day, dear!”

I heard the disconnected line and sighed before calling my dad. He picked up quickly as well: right after one ring.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Dad. I, uh, just got promoted. I’m working on the broadcast instead of just editing stories.”

“Good.” There wasn’t much fanfare compared to when I called Mom; I didn’t expect there to be. He had expected excellence from me the moment I was born and, for most of my life, I really couldn’t offer that to him. Only when I was accepted into Todai and worked at the NHK did he acknowledge me, ever so briefly because of how hell bent I was to become estranged from anything related to Azumano, so his praises never fully reached me.

Clearly, my parents were not the only ones at fault here, but I digress.

“Congratulations. You’ve done well.”

He it said it with that gruff voice of his, tinged with subtle pride, that sparsely echoed through my childhood. I nearly choked up hearing it. Was I deprived of parental attention? Totally.

“I’ll let you go. If you come back early tonight, we should talk.”

“Yeah. Thanks, Dad. Bye.”

“Goodbye.”

Yet another disconnected line. Glad I had gotten those awkward interactions out of the way, I started getting to work, hoping that I wouldn’t burn myself out before lunch arrived.

…

At noon, I started packing up, expecting to meet Takeshi at the police station when I saw him leading Daisuke, Riku, and Ritsuko towards my cubicle. Daisuke had a vase full of flowers while Riku carried bags full of food from the restaurant she worked at. Ritsuko paraded her small balloon bouquet around, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Missing the Chief already?” Takeshi snidely asked once in my cubicle.

“No? Why would I?”

“You did spend a whole week with him in a foreign city.” Ritsuko pointed out.

“So?”

“Well—”

“Continue that sentence, Takeshi. I dare you.”

Takeshi pouted while everyone laughed before placing their gifts in my cubicle. Lunch was a nice affair, especially since Riku had brought exactly what I was craving, but it was cut short when lunch break ended since Daisuke, Riku and Ritsuko had to head back to work, leaving me with a very, very curious looking Takeshi.

Oh no.

“Now that everyone’s gone, I need the deets.”

“On what?”

“Your trip with the Chief! I knew something was up after you called earlier this morning, but he then spent the rest of the morning gushing over you like some poor, love-struck bastard.”

“Now I know you’re embellishing it.”

“Okay, maybe I am, but still! He was in a much better mood after talking to you, so explain!”

“There’s nothing to explain? We just got closer because of the circumstances of our trip.”

“Because you two shared a room?”

“Um, no?” Takeshi looked at me, expecting me to elaborate. “Even if we did have to sleep at a hotel, I’m pretty sure Kosuke-san and Hiwatari-san would’ve booked me a separate room.”

“…then where the hell’d you guys sleep if ya’ll weren’t at a hotel?”

“Did Hiwatari-san not tell you?”

“Sorry, he was a little busy gloating about you all morning to tell me about whatever juicy detail you’re hiding from me—spill!”

“Kei duped us into thinking that he died, so we stayed at his fancy apartment while we were there.”

He blinked before his face ran through a range of emotions. Eventually, he settled on some level of discomfort before leaning back in his seat.

“Ah, so he’s here. That’s explains it.”

I only looked at him in confusion, expecting him to fill me in especially since I so graciously satiated his curiosity earlier, but he didn’t. Takeshi just jumped up before stretching his arms over his head.

“Well, if anything, I’m glad you two are getting along again.” I opened my mouth to say something but Takeshi finished stretching. “Well, I’ve got a story to type up so I’m gonna go slave away in my cubicle. Happy working, Boss!”

He disappeared with a dramatic wave, and I couldn’t help but question what was going through his mind. But I had better things to worry about than the little mystery Takeshi brought up, so I went back to working, reenergized from the food and time with friends.

…

I walked out of the meeting room with a splitting headache, frustrated at my stubborn coworkers who refused to listen to my opinion. Maybe the old men were intimidated by my quick promotion. And, while the women were probably feeling the same way, I also wouldn’t put it past them if they were jealous that I worked with Hiwatari. (For whatever reason, that man was a hot commodity for all the single ladies in the office, some sort of idol figure for those who weren’t, and many of them were quite desperate to fill my old position assuming HR wanted to keep it.)

My phone rang, and I picked up without looking at the caller ID.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Harada-san.” Hiwatari? What did he need? “When will you be getting off of work?”

“After the broadcast. What’s up?”

“Is it fine if I accompanied you back to my apartment?”

I laughed. “Is this what you called me for? Really?”

“Yes. After what happened in Vienna, I’m not quite sure—”

“Hey. Stop bringing it up and making this awkward for us. Please. We’ll deal with it whenever it decides to rear its ugly head at us again which, considering our track record, might happen pretty soon, but don’t you dare jinx it. Knock on wood for us if you’re able to.” He laughed. “Anyways, I’ll let you know when I’m about to head out, so don’t pass out on me or anything.”

“I might…I am—”

“Don’t try to spite me, boy. I’ve got a headache, and I know damn well you’re more than capable enough to keep yourself from keeling over on the streets.”

“Yes’m,” he replied like a dutiful child after a scolding. “I’ll see you soon. Good luck.”

“Thanks.”

We hung up before I sat down in my cubicle, leaning in my chair and looking at the speckled ceiling. Why were my coworkers being so unresponsive now? I offered friendly suggestions and recommendations that they were receptive to back as an editor, but the moment I began planning our daily broadcasts, they all decide to throw a hissy fit.

Straightening up, I looked at the monitor, staring at the schedule for the primetime broadcast. Everything looked in order, but who knew what could occur leading up to it. Taking a huge gulp of my tea, I gathered my papers and notes before heading to the broadcasting room.

I need to be ready for hell, whatever that may entail.

…

The broadcast was awful in terms of how unpolished everything felt which made me feel equally as, if not more so, awful, so I had politely declined the after-work party my coworkers were hosting to celebrate my promotion (which wasn’t improving my reputation any for sure, but I’d rather they judge me for that than a rage-induced, drunken tirade during which I would proceed to make them feel as insignificant as possible) before heading back to my cubicle to pack my things. Takeshi had long left, leaving a poorly drawn doodle of himself on a sticky note he placed on my monitor, making me feel marginally better.

I lounged in my chair, mentally decompressing until I felt my phone vibrate to see a text from Hiwatari saying he just arrived at the news station. I quickly packed my stuff before heading down, waving good-bye to the security guard—one of the only friendly faces left in this building—before stepping out into the evening air.

“How was the first day of your promotion?” he asked.

“Terrible. The moment you’re put in charge of something, people’s attitudes change. Isn’t it ridiculous that something so simple can change someone’s perception of you?”

“Indeed. Titles can change everything.”

I pouted, hating how true it was. Did Hiwatari ever have to deal with that working at the police station at such a young age? Or was it something he’d dealt with for his whole life?

Hiwatari joked around the whole walk back to his apartment, spouting some crap about how he was the life of the party and, had he been present at lunch, would’ve livened the whole place up. He was being stupid, needlessly so that it was equal parts concerning yet entertaining, but he got my mind off of my train wreck of a day. If that was his sole purpose, then I applaud him for nobly sacrificing his dignity.

And, without him knowing, thank him for his kindness.

When we arrived at his apartment, I saw a man, nearly the spitting image of Kei, sitting on the sofa. He stood up and smiled at me, but I hid behind Hiwatari, trying to compose myself from seeing this doppelganger.

“Satoshi said to expect company over, but I didn’t think it’d be the one and only Harada Risa!”

Ick. He even sounded like Kei with that saccharine tone of his, veiling the jab his words carried. To anyone else, it would’ve been a wonderful compliment, but considering the context of my relationship with Hiwatari, those words were loaded. “One and only” meant that I was a very, very special girl to Hiwatari. And no, that special wasn’t meant to praise me at all.

Wait—

“Are you Hiwatari-san, biker extraordinaire?” I asked.

Kazama laughed. “Yes, indeed! I am Uncle Kazama, biker and lawyer extraordinaire. Pleasure to finally meet you!”

“It’s, uh nice to meet you, too…”            

Well, that explained his overbearing presence. The cheerfulness exuding from someone who looked almost like Kei only made it worse, so I forced an uncomfortable smile. He headed to the kitchen, checking on whatever was cooking while Hiwatari dismissed himself to his room.

“So, Harada-san, tell me: what spurred my nephew to invite a fine woman such as yourself over for dinner?” Kazama asked with an insinuating tone.

“Um…Hiwatari-san invited me over to make up for his absence during lunch.”

“Sorry about that; he had to go pick me up from the station.” Kazama tasted his food and nodded approvingly. With how wonderful it smelled, I was nodding approvingly inside my head, too. “So, is lunch together with him a regular thing then?”

“Oh no. My friends held a lunch celebration earlier to celebrate my promotion today.”

“And his absence from that so happened to give him an opportunity to celebrate alone with you? Spicy!”

I cleared my throat. “Anyways, what brings you here?”

“Just checking up on my nephew and catching up with old pals.” Takeshi’s reaction to Kazama being in town earlier told me there was more to his words than he let on, but I understood why he was so guarded. I’m the “one and only” Risa Harada. From his point of view, I was probably just a tick that just needed to explode and die from being too greedy.

Hiwatari decided at that time to walk into the living room wearing a ratty t-shirt and faded plaid pajama pants. I couldn’t hold back my laughter at seeing him so…so…

“Now I know Emiko taught you better!” Kazama called.

“I can dress myself perfectly fine when I choose to, but there’s no one I need to impress here, and I want to be comfortable in my own—goddammit, Harada-san. Stop laughing!”

If he didn’t need to impress me, then Hiwatari probably didn’t see me as anything more than a good friend. And anything that reassured me about the platonic nature of…whatever the hell this was, comforted me. Even though our interactions hadn’t changed much from high school, they didn’t carry any extra meanings.

Consciously, anyway.

Eventually, I calmed down, and the three of us had dinner. Kazama’s cooking was delicious: much better than anything Hiwatari and I could make even if we cooked together. And when we finished eating, queued by the end of a hilarious story about Hiwatari as a child, Kazama said he had plans and left the apartment, leaving me and Hiwatari in charge of the dishes. And it gave me space to breathe from Kei’s look-a-like.

“God,” I gasped as I stacked the dirty plates. “He’s, um, something.”

“It’s a shock, isn’t it?”

“Yes!”

Hiwatari laughed as he stood at the sink, ready and waiting for the dishes. “You’re not the only one; it took everyone a while to finally get used to him when he started visiting Azumano.”

“I can imagine. That’s not a personality we’ve come to associate with that face, but he’s on par with Kei with that presence of his.”

He laughed again as I handed him the first set of dirty dishes. Thankfully, nothing occurred while we cleaned up, and we eventually migrated to the sofa once we finished. Hiwatari placed two of cups of scotch on the low table in front of us, and I cautiously eyed him as he took his first sip.

“Is there something wrong, Harada-san?”

“…I’m not going to see that side of you tonight, am I?”

“I guarantee you won’t. It takes more than this to get me to that point, so don’t worry.” He took another sip and sighed with content, like an old, successful business man. I almost expected him to surprise me and pull out a pack of cigars to finish off the image, but he pulled out his cigarettes and lit one.

“Are you stressed?”

“I love Kazama, but his ‘damage control’ visits tend to be very…stressful. For everyone. He’s quite good at it, I suppose, but he takes those words far too seriously.” Before I could ask what he meant by that, he stood up and opened a window. “Enough about Kazama though. Sorry if I overstep a boundary, but you don’t seem too enthusiastic about your promotion. You’re one step closer to achieving your dream of becoming a news anchor and, knowing you, you’d be more excited about it; your coworkers’ attitude wouldn’t even bother you.”

I frowned at him bringing that up before taking a sip of my drink. Yikes. That was strong and disgusting. Hiwatari shot me a look, probably offended by my instinctive reaction. “Okay, wow. That was something. And um, yeah. I appreciate your bluntness but, uh, you bringing that up is kind of stressing me out more than your uncle right now. Are you sure you’re not the one on damage control right now?”

“Sorry. Um…” Hiwatari Satoshi, reduced to a bumbling mess. What a sight to behold. “I was just concerned. And, if I were on damage control, you and I both know we wouldn’t be talking about your job.”

I groaned. “Can you guys just let me leave it in the past? Please?”

“I’m just warning you about Kazama should you ever find yourself alone with him. Trust me. He’s going to find a way to bring it up one way or another.”

I gulped down the scotch, coughing as it burned down my throat: the epitome of the taste of regret. No one told me that an innocuous invitation for dinner could possible lead to me getting burned and grilled by Hiwatari’s uncle as the coup de grace to this awful day. Granted I couldn’t have possibly known when I had accepted it, but still!

Shit!

“Harada-san, I’m offended that you’ve disrespected my drink twice already. But must you treat it like a shot? It’s meant to—”

…

Growing up, I knew I wanted a job that would make me famous. I had this huge obsession with becoming noticed in the world that I set my sights on stardom.

The attempts I had in child modeling and acting, despite my talent for it, fell short when many of the gigs that would propel me to the public’s eye required long stays in Tokyo that neither of my parents had the time to allot for. (And, frankly speaking, my father thought was nonsense.) I wasn’t limber enough to get anywhere in dancing, and my singing voice with its normal timbre and average range would only land me a semi-regular gig at a café or bar at best. Whatever attempts I had with playing instruments or creating art failed because I didn’t believe in practice, only perfection at first try, and I hated sitting down for such long periods of time. And so, after turning on the TV and watching the news that one fateful day, I set my sights on becoming a news anchor.

It was a dream that carried me through middle and high school, eventually landing me at the prestigious University of Tokyo. However, after deciding to double major for both the extra experience and added job security, I found myself enjoying Japanese Literature more than Journalism.

So much so that I wondered why I decided to intern at new stations instead of publishing companies. Maybe I was so transfixed on carrying out my childhood dream to its end that I became oblivious to how much I had changed.

This certainly wasn’t the first time my attachment to the past had sent me down a path I didn’t think was the right one to take. And if I only continued to stay in the past, it was no wonder that I kept losing sight of my present, hindering the future full of opportunities I couldn’t see.

…

When Kazama returned, Hiwatari had just finished drinking the scotch he poured for me. Honestly, I preferred having a beer or a fruity cocktail whenever I drink, so Hiwatari procured a can of beer for me before graciously indulging in my portion. By this point, he had gotten somewhat talkative and disturbingly smiley, and his intermittent giggles started to terrify me, so I was glad for Kazama’s arrival.

“It’s about time for me to head out,” I said as I started to stand up. “Thanks for having me over.”

“You’re welcome.” Hiwatari placed the crystal glass on the table and stood up, stretching his arms. “Let me—”

“I’ll walk her back, big boy.” Kazama offered. “You go sober up and get some rest. You’ve got work tomorrow!”

Hiwatari hesitated, probably worried to leave me alone with Kazama. But he complied, maybe realizing that there was no way he could help me weasel out of this, bidding us goodnight (and offering me an apologetic smile) before disappearing into his room.

Me and Kazama? What could possibly go wrong as I leave the boiling pot, only to find myself in the frying pan?

Kazama offered me a polite smile, probably out of courtesy before tears me apart. “Well then, shall we?”

Nodding, we left the apartment for the cool, evening air that only got colder with Kazama next to me. He started the conversation easily, making small talk that obviously skirted around his true intention. Only when we reached a stoplight did he shoot me yet another polite smile, so eerily close to Kei’s, that it sent shivers down my spine. And, from my experience with Kei, I knew that this was a precursor of great doom for me.

“Would you like to grab coffee with me?” he asked. “There’s a café called Mizuame de Noisette that I wanted to try.”

“I, um, don’t like coffee all that much.” I cautiously replied. Why the hell did he want to invite me to that specific place? Did he know?

I scanned his expression, but I couldn’t discern anything from that stupid smile on his face. He was waiting to strike, and I knew exactly what he would do from Hiwatari’s well-meant warning earlier, but I didn’t know how badly this viper’s bite was. Nor did I want to find out that day. Or ever, to be honest, but this was inevitably going to happen because old men liked to dig their nose into my business with Hiwatari.

What a fate.

“Then perhaps tea?”

“I’m trying not to spend too much this month.”

“My treat.”

“Honestly, I just want to go home right now.” The light turned, and we started walking. “Stop trying to invite me somewhere, and just come out with it.”

He let out a hearty guffaw. “I like your spunk! So, I’m assuming you know why I’m here then?”

“I have a vague idea, so what’s your deal with me?”

“Oh, I’m sure you know all too well. I actually don’t like you all that much, Harada Risa-san. You’ve done enough to Satoshi, and you decide to crawl back to Azumano for no particularly compelling reason and literally break my perfectly functional nephew with just the sight of you. And please don’t give me that victim bullshit; you’re not the only one who suffered from the consequences of your fever-induced kiss.”

I shot Kazama a look. God, he was even more like Kei than I thought. Scratch that. Kei was an angel compared to this fire spewing demon. I didn’t realize that this was what that bubbly personality was hiding.

“Don’t you dare scold me right now,” I growled. “Just get to the damn point because I barely know you, and you’re meddling far more than I’m comfortable with you doing.”

“You and Satoshi are like Cesium and water: contact with each other not only causes an explosion but also breaks everything surrounding the two of you. There was no need for you to come back; you literally ruined the equilibrium that everyone you left had finally reached. You deserve whatever loneliness you feel when you’re here because you no longer have a place here.”

“Fuck. You,” I snarled. “I left my family and friends here to try to move on with my life! Did you think I wanted to do that?! Todai be damned; if it meant that I could finally feel at home here, if it meant that I didn’t ever have to leave so that no one would find out and be torn between two sides, then I would happily trade my degree in for that peace of mind. I was so, so miserable in Tokyo, and I wanted come back home despite Hiwatari-san’s presence because I deserve to be happy, even if that meant having to finally face the consequences of my past decisions. And if I’m going to have to put work into these relationships, then so be it, but I don’t need some hotshot lawyer who knows jack shit about me saying that I have no place in the town I grew up in!”

Kazama laughed again, but that only made the anger festering inside me grow. “Feisty! Kei warned me about that but—”

“You didn’t think I’d be a total bitch? I’ve had an awful day and you, smarmy bastard who has no fucking right to smear me like that, decide that the best thing to do is to provoke me about this. I understand your belligerence, but this is just a prime example of why I never wanted people to find out. And for god’s sake, grow up and act like an adult instead of throwing this hissy fit and solely blaming me for something your ‘oh-so-perfect’ nephew has equal fault in!”

He went silent, hopefully reflecting on what I’d just said. I expected an apology or some snide comment about respecting one’s elders, especially after I had just blown up at someone older than me, but he wouldn’t relent on this damn topic. Was he just hell bent on pissing me off to the point where I might act on that niggling thought to push him onto the road, timed perfectly so that a passing truck would squish him into oblivion?

“You know you’re going to have to tell everyone about your not-so-secret secret if you’re going to open up to them.”

“I’m aware, and that is a bridge I will cross when I get there.”

“This is probably one of the worst decisions both of you have made to date.”

“You’re preaching to the choir here.”

“You two are bound to make the same mistakes again.”

“Maybe so, but people learn from their mistakes.”

We had finally turned onto my street, and I had never been so happy to finally see my house looming by the cliff since I had arrived. I quickened my pace to get away from this man who, honestly, was worse than Kei. Genuine or not, at least Kei was nicer and meant well.

“You two finally learned the important art of communication!”

“Oh, shut your—what is that?”

In front of my house, so close to escaping the company of this rancid man, Kazama pulled out a necklace from his pocket. An intricately decorated pendant depicting a blue bird in a cage hung from a delicate chain, but I shot him a look of both confusion and disgust instead of enjoying the jewelry’s craftsmanship.

“Hikari artwork.”

“Should you really—”

“It’ll do you better than the one Kei gave you. I was originally supposed to give this Satoshi, but you clearly need it more than he ever could right now.”

“Thank you,” I bitterly said.

He stuffed it into my purse before walking away. “Have a good night, Harada-san.”

“I hope you get run over by a truck.”

…

The rest of that week, after my terrible conversation with Kazama, was pretty uneventful and light-hearted outside of work. Takeshi visited me during lunch every day, bringing along Daisuke, Riku or Ritsuko if they were able to drop by. “To make up for the Chief’s absence,” Takeshi explained as if me, him, and Hiwatari had become some important lunch trio. The lunches were lovely though, minus that one time Takeshi only brought Ritsuko and they fought the whole time.

To make up for Hiwatari’s absence during lunch (which other furthered my question as to how the three of us having lunch together became a thing), he would invite me over for dinner. I tried turning him down whenever he said Kazama would be in, but Hiwatari promised that he’d made sure his uncle was on his best behavior, so I somehow endured relatively normal and tame evenings at Hiwatari’s apartment either alone with him or with Kazama’s added company. How that man effortlessly hid his nastiness behind that stupid, laid-back demeanor of his was beyond me.

And work? I didn’t realize that each and every day would amount to the same amount of stress caused by completely different things. One day it was the people. Another day it was the broadcast itself. No matter how much I tried to get everything under control, whether it be kissing up to my team or asserting myself to prevent the mayhem from getting out of hand, something would slip through my fingers and proceed to wreak havoc.

The night before Riku and Daisuke were going to fly out to Zurich, (also conveniently the night before Kazama would finally return to Tokyo) my parents decided to hold my celebratory dinner for my promotion. Takeshi, Akane, and Ritsuko all had plans that evening, and Kazama thankfully had a fun-filled night at the Niwas in store for him, so it would just be me, Hiwatari, and the couple along with my parents.

This was totally an ideal set up. Not.

While running errands that afternoon, I conveniently bumped into both Daisuke and Hiwatari, both equally frazzled in the midst of their own errand runs. (Ms. Emiko strove for absolute perfection as a host whenever guests came over, and Hiwatari only had the time and energy to perform these stupidly trivial tasks during the weekends.) We embarked on a grand adventure across Azumano, knocking off item after item on our own respective to-do lists until we arrived at the Harada mansion: our final destination.

I opened the door, greeted by the sound of clinking dinnerware and the lovely smell emanating from the kitchen. Hiwatari and Daisuke parked themselves in the living room while I headed to the kitchen to tell my family that I was back. It was empty but impeccably clean, the way my mother always wanted it, so I headed over to the dining area to see Mom and Riku plating the table. Dad stood in front of the wine cabinet, perusing our selection before deciding on several different white wines. He turned around to see me, offering me a kind smile, while Riku and Mom talked amongst themselves, grumbling about placement as they kept moving things around.

“Risa…”

Mom and Riku looked up, frazzled, before they shot me smiles as well. My mom returned to busying herself while Riku came over to me and pulled me into a hug. “Congrats, sis.” She let go of me before holding my shoulders. “Sure, your job may not be as snazzy as the one you had back in Tokyo, but it’s still reason to celebrate!”

I pouted, but Riku laughed before urging my mom to come over to me while she fixed the table, nearly undoing everything my mother had done.

“I’m so proud of you,” she said, smile gentle and eyes shining before pulling me into a hug. It felt awkward at first, but I relished in it shortly after. And when my father returned from calling our guests over, he joined in as well, and I saw Daisuke, Riku, and Hiwatari behind us with knowing smiles as if sensing how much this meant to me.

Daisuke and Hiwatari sat next to each other, the former also next to Riku and the latter next to my dad, while I chose a seat between my sister and my mom. Dinner felt like a scene from those American holiday movies, feeling simultaneously homey yet foreign at the same time. I still felt slightly out of place amongst the conversation, hearing anecdotes of events I never knew occurred, of topics that required background knowledge, gained from first-hand accounts or lofty rumors, that I didn’t possess, and the familial setting imposed upon me had made it exceedingly clear that I had been displaced, and I couldn’t help but have Kazama’s words echo inside my mind every time I had to force a laugh.

Once we finished dinner, Riku and my mom dismissed themselves from the table only to return to with gifts. Daisuke and Riku gave me a matching journal and pen set while my parents gifted me a large, fashionable designer purse that I could use for work. Hiwatari didn’t have anything for me, but all the free meals he’d been treating me to that week were more than enough.

My parents left shortly after the gift exchange since they had made plans to see Kazama at the Niwa’s, leaving the four of us left to clean up. Daisuke and Hiwatari tided up the table while Riku and I washed the dishes. I could hear Hiwatari shooting terrible joke after terrible joke at Daisuke, embarrassing the poor man who didn’t need his good friend to make fun of his plans to propose to Riku soon.

“They’re ridiculous,” my sister muttered as she scrubbed the dishes.

“Leave them be. Unless you’re jealous, of course.”

“Me? Jealous of Satoshi? Risa, you must be out of your mind.”

I laughed as I dried the dishes, sorting them out so that it’d be easier to put them back. There was something soothing about this monotonous activity, and I was glad that it had gotten my mind off of dinner.

“So, how was the food?” she asked.

“Absolutely delicious. Thank you!”

“You’re welcome!” She handed me a plate. “You know, Mom and Dad are trying. They just don’t know how to approach you, especially considering how you were when you left.”

“I know. And I’m grateful for it, really.” I forced a laugh before placing the dry dish in its respective stack. “Doesn’t feel like we’ve gotten anywhere though.”

“Well, it can’t be a one-sided thing, you know. You have to try, too.” She handed me yet another plate. “It wasn’t easy for me either when they decided to barge back into my life after being practically non-existent for our childhood. ‘Family’ was contained in our Sunday brunches, formal and habitual just like mass: present and relevant for an hour only to be forgotten for the rest of the week until Sunday came around again. They nagged at me to do this and not do that, to strive to be exactly like the prodigal daughter who went off to Tokyo despite being an emotional wreck instead of dutifully playing the role of a smitten girlfriend.”

“No…”

“Yup,” she chirped. “We fought a lot in the beginning, going around in circles and arguing about the same things over and over again, but it helped to clear out the air, and we started to get better. Granted, I have a six year head start, but you’ll get there eventually. And you’re starting out on a civil note with them, so it can only be smooth sailing from here! I’m sure it’ll be a breeze compared to you and Satoshi!”

Riku, how could you bring him up in the midst of talking about our parents? I’d rather talk about them than him on any day!

“Honestly, I was so worried about you two going off to Vienna, but I’m glad it worked out for you!”    

If you meant having him confess he was in love with me, us vigorously avoiding that he brought it up by coping with humor, and getting grilled at Kazama for even bothering to fix things with Hiwatari as working out for me, then sure! I was perfectly peachy.

“The two of you looked so pained that month before our high school graduation, but you two were bickering over the silliest topics over dinner that it felt like nothing changed. And if you could patch up whatever happened between you and Hiwatari, I feel like anything’s possible!”

I appreciated Riku’s vote of confidence, but I wished she’d used something else to reassure me. Anything was possible because everything had changed. My relationship between Hiwatari, while fundamentally identical on the surface, was inherently different. My parents were making an active attempt to make up for their lack of presence in my life growing up; Daisuke was planning on proposing to Riku in the coming week; I actually enjoyed Takeshi’s company: everything was different. Years had passed and, sure, some things haven’t changed, but the past was out of reach. And no matter how much we worshipped those nostalgic, rose-colored days, they were gone. I could never go back to them, thankfully, and nor did I wish to.

I wanted to be free from them, and yet it had become some arbitrary gauge to determine how “stable” Risa was. And I knew Riku meant well, but the intersection of my past with my present terrified me more than anyone could understand, more than I even wanted to admit to myself.

“…but everything has changed,” I mumbled, kind of hoping that Riku wouldn’t hear and kind of hoping she would.

“Well, yeah, but isn’t it nice to see things that have lasted the test of time and distance? It makes us think that there’s such a thing as a forever, huh?” Riku laughed. “Look at me getting all mushy! I probably had too much wine to drink.”

She went back to talking about our parents, laughing about something hilarious they had done on a Christmas morning during my absence, while I listened and laughed along, forcing myself to solely focus on the task at hand.

Forever, huh?

…

Riku and Daisuke had already retreated to her room for some alone time, leaving me and Hiwatari downstairs, drinking beer and watching dramas. While Hiwatari winced at every romantic cliché that popped up, I relished in each and every single one of them, breaking Hiwatari down until, he too, shed his repulsed demeanor and turned into the helpless sap he had admitted, on several occasions, that he was.

Once the credits rolled, playing a super catchy theme song, I let out the laugh I had been repressing. Hiwatari shot me a frown.

“Had I known you would laugh at me, I would not have let you see me like this.”

“No, thank you.” I tried to control my giggles, but they wouldn’t stop. “The great—ha—Commissioner Hiwatari—ha ha—turning into emotional putty at an excessive shot of the main couple l-lovingly staring into each other’s eyes!” I let loose, curling up into a ball to ease the pain of laughing too hard while Hiwatari just looked on with judgment.

I apologized once I had calmed down, still in awe at the karma returned to Hiwatari from needlessly heckling me about my romantic daydreams, but he still had that expression of disgust on his face. He quickly eased into an entertained smile, and I wondered just how hard it was for him to feign being upset with me.

“I’ll be driving Daisuke and Riku to the airport tomorrow morning and Uncle Kazama to the train station if you’d like to come with,” he started before turning off the TV.

“How early are you taking them to the airport?”

“Extremely.”

“I’ll pass. I don’t want to accidentally spill Daisuke’s plan in a 4AM stupor.” Hiwatari nodded. “But I’ll accompany you to drop Kazama off. I’ve got some choice words for your uncle.”

“Sorry. I should’ve stopped him.”

“Don’t worry about it. He would’ve done it sooner or later, I’m assuming, so it would’ve been pointless to delay the inevitable.”

He nodded before smirking. “So, how awful as he when he walked you back?”

“Worse than Kei who is actually a sweetheart compared to that nasty devil. He tried to lure me to my favorite café to go off on me! I eventually forced him to grill me on the streets so that he wouldn’t taint my favorite place in Azumano with his rude-ass self, but still! I get it! You love our nephew and, second to Krad and everything pertaining to the Hikari curse, I was the Worst Thing to have ever happened to him, but I’m human, too! Damn!”

It was Hiwatari’s turn to laugh now. How dare he have the audacity to laugh at my pain! “More damaging and controlling than actual damage control?”

“Yes! Could the hotshot, biker of a lawyer keep that behavior contained inside of the courtroom, please? Yeesh.”

“I warned you that he was overbearing.”

“That’s an understatement. Riku is overbearing. But Kazama is—I have no words to adequately describe him. No wonder he stresses you out.”

“You have no idea. He literally screamed at me until I told him about you. And when I finished, he continued screaming at me because I had hurt you so much.”

We both laughed at the image of Commissioner Hiwatari, a genius, fledgling adult in charge of a whole precinct, being screamed at like a child who had just shit their pants or something. I couldn’t fault Hiwatari for having a smoke when I visited the day Kazama arrived; that crazy man was too much for a single person to house for a week.

“So…Kosuke and Kei found out about us through their deductive abilities. As did Grandpa Daiki, I’m assuming, if my last interaction with him is anything to go by, and Kazama forced it out of you. Hiwatari, I was under the impression that this was top secret considering that I’ve never told a soul about it.” I looked at him, cutting the levity in the room with the serious tone of my voice. “Who else knows? And please be truthful here. I promise I won’t get mad. I just don’t want to keep having the rug pulled out from under my feet.”

He bit his lip, averting his gaze away from me. “Do you want to know the reason why I’ve been banned from excessively drinking around other people?” Oh no. “After Daisuke had turned twenty, I had invited him out for drinks and gotten so drunk that I talked about everything that happened between you and me.”

Goddammit, Hiwatari! I didn’t need to know that you were the type of drunk to spill your dirty secrets! Nor did I want to find out that it was Daisuke on the other end of it. I mean, I wasn’t surprised, but that was hitting way too close to home. One wrong move on Daisuke’s part and Riku would find out, eventually telling my parents and—nope. I did not want to entertain that thought.

“I made him promise not to acknowledge it ever again, so please don’t worry. Or try not to worry,” Hiwatari explained. “Takeshi also knows a little bit, but not enough to be a huge problem. Harada-san, please, you look like you’re about to faint.”

“I’m trying not to,” I said. “But thank you for telling me.”

We heard footsteps and turned to see Riku and Daisuke heading down the stairs. The former caught Hiwatari’s attention to confirm tomorrow morning while my eyes met Daisuke’s briefly.

“What’s up, Risa?”

“One wrong move, and you’re dead to me.”

…

Hiwatari and I followed Kazama to the tracks. The older man had his leather jacket precariously hanging off on shoulder. His suitcase stood next to his slim legs decked in a nice pair of skinny jeans, and he had a smirk plastered on his face: the perfect image of a douche bag.

“Didn’t expect to see you here, Harada-san.”

“I just wanted to wish misfortune upon you back in Tokyo, however that would manifest itself for you.”

Kazama laughed before patting Hiwatari on the shoulder. “Just let me know if you need me.”

“I will.”

Kazama then returned to me, and I snarled at him. If he had anything rude to say to me, I’d push him onto the tracks.

“Harada-san, take care of him, will you? If I find out that either one of you hurt the other, you’re both getting it.” He flashed a smile. “Accountability’s important, yanno!”

“At least Hiwatari-san’s going down with me?”

Kazama only laughed before patting me on the head. “Sorry about our talk that night, Harada-san. I have a bad habit of overstepping boundaries in the moment, so I know everything I said was uncalled for.” I pushed his hand off, glaring at him for being overly familiar with me. “But you know? Both of you are trying, and that’s all that matters at the end of the day. Not many people can do what you two are doing, and that’s something to applaud. Really. It’s hard for people stick to their decision when they know the whole world will be against them for taking the road less traveled.”

The train had pulled into the station, and Kazama boarded, waving goodbye before disappearing into the cabin. Hiwatari and I stood there until the train pulled out of the station, leaving us to feel the sea breeze blow by.

“Maybe this was a mistake?” I innocently asked before looking at Hiwatari.

He just returned my gaze and shrugged. “Mistake or not, this is the path we’ve chosen. We can only move forward from here.”

“Do you think it’s a mistake?”

Hiwatari raised his eyebrow. “How I feel isn’t pertinent.”

“I’m not asking that. I want your honest opinion.”

“Then yes. I do. It’s illogical, and I feel like I’m setting myself up for an unfathomable disaster. You feel the same way, I’m assuming?”

“Yeah.” I let out a breathy laugh. “We’re such idiots.”

“I only have you to blame for dragging me down to your level.”

“Hey!”